#especially with how little time we have going forward until final shape

[thefirstknife]

I've emerged. Did the whole campaign and some side stuff, haven't had time to touch the season but I will do so shortly.

Overall, I really like it. Visually absolutely stunning. I adore Nimbus to death. Love the extent of involvement from Osiris and that we and our Ghost got to speak so much. The whole campaign feels much more Guardian-centric than any other before.

I played on normal mode because I do not want to think about difficulty and to sweat when I'm just trying to get through the story for the first time so difficulty wise, normal mode is fine to me. Didn't experience any issues with that or with new mod system or anything.

Full spoilers under (Deterministic Chaos mission as well) and because it's a long post:

Despite loving it, I feel like some stuff was rushed. One of my major issues is that we did not really have any meaningful explanation about the main point of the story, which is the Veil. I feel like we should've known exactly what it is in order to understand why we're protecting it outside of the whole "the Veil powers Neomuna so if it gets destroyed, people will die." That's understandable enough, but we have no idea what it is. I think we should've known that.

Without knowing what it is, we can't really understand what happened at the end. It's a really shocking, unbelievable and stunning ending, but also confusing. We do not know what happened. Zavala and Ikora both spoke as if the Traveler disappeared which got me confused until I read Ikora's summary in text:

And ofc, until I saw the view in destinations and from the HELM:

From Zavala's speech, I genuinely thought that the Traveler just disappeared entirely, despite us not seeing anything in the cutscene after the Witness entered it. Only this line from Ikora's summary explains that the Traveler isn't gone or destroyed or dead, just kinda... Shut down. I guess.

Which again, we simply do not understand. I love when things are mysterious and we can speculate, but in this case there is nothing to even speculate about. We simply do not know what happened or why. We have no idea what the Witness wants or what it did.

Some of it might get explained in the raid, but I believe that the main campaign plot point should be explained in the campaign. There was a brief possibility that some stuff would be explained in the exotic mission for the machine gun, Deterministic Chaos, but instead of clarifying the Veil, it just made it even more confusing.

Basically, the mission explains that the Vex tried making a copy of the Veil, but the copy was not successful entirely. The copy? The Black Heart in the Black Garden. It obviously didn't pan out for the Vex, but it's unfathomable to me why an object of Light would turn into the Black Heart, even as a failed copy. Not to mention that the Vex can't handle paracausality. Perhaps that is why they failed? There's a lot of text involved in the mission, but it does not explain anything further and it ends with us getting a core from a Vex mind that has yet to be researched.

This might possibly all make clear sense in the future, and I don't mind waiting at all. But I do feel like we could've easily gotten more substantial information during the campaign. The Veil was an entirely new thing introduced here and the whole campaign has us chasing after it, but we have no information about what it is. And the information we do have is wildly conflicting. It's tied to the Light and it's an object of the Traveler, but it's also able to be copied as the Black Heart and can be used to slice open the Traveler? Like, on one hand it's obviously Light based, but on the other it's highly dangerous and helpful to Darkness.

We'll probably find out eventually so I'm not too bothered, I just think we should've found out during the campaign. It's definitely going to be a sore point for everyone, since we literally do not know what we were doing.

On another note, we're finally fully done with Nezarec! A thing I am glad to be wrong and overly cautious about. I had huge dread over hyping myself up for something like that and only for it to not pan out so I advised caution. Luckily, it is panning out!

However, I have some issues with that as well and it mostly stems from the past year of Nezarec simply not being set up sufficiently enough. He got set up as a past disciple and then as having died ages ago and then as having several of his body parts ground into dust and also as a "traitor." Assumed traitor to the Witness since he was a disciple. Then suddenly he's still on the Witness' side. For ... reasons? I guess raid lore will clarify.

I liked the fact that he's shown as "stuck" in a prison of being in between life and death (his lines in the strike), since that fits with where he would be given that he died. And was turned into tea. But we know that he can still speak from his remains so that's cool! I also like how he sounds utterly silly evil. Like in a good way silly. He just sounds evil, which is sometimes refreshing given that all our villains get expanded to the point where I feel sorry for them. I hope he stays like this.

Another thing that bothers me is, again, the whole nightmare thing. It's reiterated once more that he's tied to nightmares, but Lightfall CE specifically untied nightmares from the Lunar Pyramid and Nezarec. Which falls with my issues with him not being set up properly; we should've known about his powers unambiguously when he was introduced in Plunder, or earlier. Again, this might be explained in the raid lore, but I feel like it's something that should've been explained as a part of the setup. I already made the suggestion that Nezarec may have made the nightmares and has nightmare powers and that he distributed that power to other Pyramid ships which would explain why the others have them. I hope this gets addressed or it'll bother me forever because Collector's Edition lore stuff is usually crucial to understanding the new expansion and characters so the contradiction is currently odd. Until we get an explanation ofc.

Another thing I like is how some Tormentors are named! And when they're named, they're also called "Imprints of Nezarec." Suggesting that they're either controlled by him or made by/from him. Or modelled. Not sure which word to use here but they're definitely tied to him. It's an interesting little tidbit. Would explain how they look half Rhulk and half.... something else. That something else, as I've speculated, might be Nezarec and it might explain why the Witness wanted his body parts (though this is then an issue yet again with Plunder because we prevented it from having those body parts. So if the Witness acquired some other body parts regardless, then what was the point of Plunder. I digress).

Also the first Tormentor we see is the only one with a different title:

Hoping for more info about them! Possibly through the raid!

I read all lore tabs that are available and I loved those! Some really cool stuff in some of them. These are all available for reading right away in collections! Seasonal gauntlets have really sweet lore with Saint-14, Caretaker sword actually made me cry with lore about Drifter helping the Eliksni and specifically Eliksni kids. Guardian's Angel Ghost shell killed me dead with lore about Mara being concerned for Crow and Crow accepting her help. Tech Witch Ghost shell mentions Sjur Eido!!!!

From the campaign lore stuff and little details, I really love the lore book Last Days which is about Neomuna citizens preparing for cryo. Some really sweet interactions and information. There's another gay couple in there! And a really neat concept of how the Neomuna citizens choose different appearance for themselves when they're in virtual reality which consists of choosing an avatar and gender (!) and they can change that any time.

Absolutely thrilled that Maya Sundaresh and Chioma Esi, aka Golden Age science wives, were revealed to have been among the founders of Neomuna. They even have areas named after them!

Also super excited to do some side missions like the ones in the Archive about other Cloud Striders. The leader of the Archive, a lady called Quinn sounds really cool and she's voiced in the quests and in patrols, as well as some other really cool characters. Quinn is also super neat because of the lore of the exotic ship Tropopause in which she speaks to Ikora and manages to completely stun Ikora in what interpret as Ikora's wlw impulse. This can be read immediately in collections.

Also, Calus is finally dead and gone! Good riddance bitch! Also super chilling cutscene with him pissing off the Witness. What a bad move, Calus. But I love to see the difference between Calus and Rhulk in how they treat the Witness. Super interesting.

Our Ghost... Man. My boy needs a break. If I see anyone slandering him for anything, I will personally end them. He literally cannot stop being taken over. It's super concerning (and also not fully explained why the Witness can just do that). On the upside, my Ghost shell (catboy) was super funny in those scenes:

Kitty Witness real.

Overall, I liked it and I feel like the story and the new setting and everything adjacent to it has a lot of potential and I'm excited to play more and get more information as we get through the year. I really do think that we'll get everything explained eventually, but it's definitely slightly disappointing that no questions were answered. As a matter of fact, we just got more questions. Things that we never knew existed were brought up only to not be elaborated on at all, but they were treated like the most important thing in the world and crucial aspects of the story. Even if you know that we'll find out eventually, it can feel strange to follow a self-contained expansion story and not get any clarifications as to why we're doing the things we're doing.

Looking forward to seeing more though! Exploring the world is definitely a blast and there's a lot of stuff to do. Strand is also incredibly cool to use and I can't wait to get all upgrades.

[seenoversundown]

For Death Or Glory : Chapter Fifteen

Jake Kiszka x Charlotte (Fem OC)

Warnings: 18+ Smut (I'll put the gentle stuff first so if you want to skip the smut warnings you can but also please read them if you're worried! Viewer discretion is always advised! 💕) Flirting, Suggestive Language, Sexual Tension runs DEEP, Alcohol/Drinking, sending risque photos / sexting essentially, smoking, & Jake our sweet baby boy being nervous as fuck.

*smut time* including: (oral f/m receiving, mild hand kinks insinuated, fingers in places, fairly rough SEX, literally all our dreams are being insinuated in here folks.)

Word Count: 5k !!

Summary: After using the utmost will power Jake has the night before, Charlotte truly tests his ability to resist his urges the next day while he's working. And well, you can imagine how far he makes it.

Author's Note: THE CANDLE IS AFLAME. LETS GOOOOO!!! I can't wait for you guys to read this one and I especially can't wait to hear your feelings about it! You've been patient with me and I made sure that it was well worth the wait. Enjoy the ride babes! 😘💕

Tear You Apart - She wants Revenge "I want to hold you close, soft breath, beating heart, As I whisper in your ear. "I want to fucking tear you apart."

Nothing in the last eighteen hours has felt real. We laid there talking about whatever came to mind for a while, but she stayed pressed against me the whole time. Alternating between holding my hand or drawing little shapes on my chest as she told me stories. 

Getting to wake up with her curled up in my arms, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t just pretend to sleep for a few minutes just to enjoy the way she played with my hair and kissed my face until I finally “woke up.” Staying in bed until Josh left the apartment so we didn’t sell ourselves out. Just quietly talking and sharing lazy kisses for a while, I felt like I was still dreaming. 

Coming back into the room, she was wrapped up in one of my shirts, just sitting on my bed and scrolling on her phone. 

“I didn’t know friends with benefits meant you stealing my clothes,” I tease. 

Her smile is contagious, “what do you think the benefits part means?” 

“Oh, is that right?” I ask in a taunting tone as I start getting dressed. Watching her pout as I button my pants, “What’s that for?” 

She climbs off the bed quickly, sliding her hands around my waist, “Can you just not look at me when I say this?” The question laced with her giggles. 

“Oh, don’t be shy now,” I laugh. 

“You’re just sooo..” she quietly but quickly spits out. 

My eyebrow raises as she avoids finishing the sentence. Reaching back to grab a shirt from my closet, she’s still clung to me. 

She finally squeaks out, “sexy.” Immediately tucking her face into me, I wrap my arms around her as I laugh. She thinks I’m—? 

“If I didn’t have to be in the bar, trust me— I wouldn’t ruin your fun.” 

She leans back, moving her hands to the same place on my stomach, slowly letting them creep up to my chest, “Starting my day off with a little torture?”

 You have no idea. 

“I haven’t forgotten about that promise,” I mumble to her. Watching her eyes light up, I tell her, “I’ll make it up to you, but I do need to work for a little bit.” 

“Better be good if you’re making me wait even longer.” She taunts. 

“Oh, I think you’ll agree it was worth the wait,” I tell her before whispering, “But you have to let go of me if you ever want to find out.” Leaning forward to press my forehead against hers, trying to not laugh at the pout on her face. 

“I’m not done yet,” she groans, letting herself fall into me and chuckling to myself as she dramatically goes limp in my arms. We stood there like that for a few minutes; she kept leaving little kisses all over my chest, which further convinced me that I deserved an award for self-control. 

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

After what felt like the longest goodbye, I have never wanted to not be in my bar more than I do today. Time feels like it’s crawling by as I stand here talking to customers at the bar. I’m nodding along to whatever they tell me as Josh mingles amongst the rest of the room. I see my phone light up out of the corner of my eye. 

Charlotte: Hi 

Me: hello there

Well, at least she can keep me company now. I pour a fresh beer and slide it to the man sitting across from me. I carefully tap on my phone, ..she already replied. 

Charlotte: I have a problem..

Me: oh? What’s that? 

Charlotte: Can’t stop thinking about how lol good you looked this morning 🤭

I can feel the heat rush to my face; what is she trying to do right now? I stare straight up at the ceiling for a second before replying. 

Me: and how can I help you with that? 

Charlotte: [sends photo in invisible ink]

Charlotte: I don’t know Jacob, how can you? 

I lock my phone faster than the speed of light. I close my eyes, biting the inside of my mouth. I can’t look at that out here. I make eye contact with Josh from across the room, gesturing to the bathroom as he nods quickly. 

I may as well have run into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I open her texts, slowly swiping away the invisible ink. There sits a photo of her legs crossed, stretched out in front of her, with dark red lace hugging her hips. Fuck me. Willing away the thoughts racing in my mind, I finally reply. 

Me: holy shit- I wish I was there. 

After a moment of silence and a handful of deep breaths, I make my way back out to the bar. How am I supposed to do this and not be obvious about it? 

Charlotte: Oh, you do? 

Me: You have no idea. 

I’d do anything to be there, Jesus Christ. I ring up a handful of tabs, sliding the receipts and their cards back to them as they head out and new customers take their places at the bar. 

I feel my phone vibrate as I’m taking someone’s order, turning to make it and setting my phone in front of me. 

Charlotte: What would you do if you were here? 

I about drop the bottle I’m holding when I read it. God, I don’t even know what I’d do. It’s been so long since I’ve done anything with a girl I’d probably panic. 

Me: oh honey I wish I could tell you 

Sliding their drink to them and grabbing a few empty glasses, anything to fight the demons away at this point. I pull my hair up into a low bun, trying to relieve myself of some of the heat coming off of me. 

“Warm?” Josh asks as he’s dropping off a handful of cans and glasses. 

Nodding quickly, “Yeah, I don’t know why.” I laugh for a second, definitely not because she’s tormenting me through text or anything. 

“You can go outside for a minute if you want; I got it.” 

“I may just take you up on that.”  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Throwing my phone in my pocket, I grab a cigarette from my office before hustling out back. The crisp, almost winter air hit me, instantly sending a chill through me. I lit the cigarette, only taking one drag from it before pulling my phone out. 

Charlotte: tell me Jacob 

My hands shake as I go to reply, whether it’s nerves or the cold, who knows? I fumble around, trying to convince myself to just say it to her. 

Me: god I just want to taste you

Was that dumb? I don’t know what else to say. I wish I could just BE THERE. Taking another slow drag, I watch the little typing bubble pop up. 

Charlotte: [sends photo] 

“Fucking hell,” I breathe out. 

My head drops back the moment it shows up. Her torso, the dark red lace, so gently cupped her. The glimmer of her nipple piercings caught the light as they’ peaked against the lace on them. She’s beautiful. The way I can see how her body curves and how soft her skin is. 

Charlotte: does that mean you’re a ‘ladies first’ kind of man?

Me: first and second, if that’s okay with you 

Charlotte: omg jacob? 

Charlotte: that’s so hot 

My stomach turns with every text; I’m so nervous. She just can’t know about it. The thought of going down on her plagues my mind. The sounds she’d make, the way she’d taste. 

Me: i’m sorry you look so fucking good

Me: how am I supposed to just stand behind the bar now? 

Taking the last few drags and putting it out, I head back inside. I sipped on the drink I have in my office, and then grab a mint before plopping down in my chair for a minute. 

Charlotte: that’s how I felt this morning 

Charlotte: you’ve been on my mind all day baby

‘Baby’ plays in my head from the other day. I can feel the blood rushing away from my brain with every flirty text she sends. 

Me: what have you been thinking about? 

I almost instantly regret asking because I know that the answer is going to be painful. Opening my email and scrolling through it for a moment before her name popped up in my notifications. 

Charlotte: How I wish you didn’t need to work today 

Charlotte: Just stayed in your bed all day with your hands all over me 

Me: yeah? You want that?

You’re at work, you’re at work, you’re at work. The sigh that falls out of me as I fight off every shiver that goes through my body because of her. Finally, getting up and going back out to the bar, letting Josh go hide for a few minutes. 

I take a chance to go wander around the tables and booths, talking to some of the regulars who were hidden amongst the crowd. I feel my phone vibrate against my thigh, but I try to ignore it while I get a few drink orders. I grab a few empty cans on my way back to the bar, tossing them into their bin before sliding my phone back out under the bar. 

Charlotte: mhmm. Your hands or your mouth, whichever you’d prefer. 

Charlotte: Just want you to touch me.

Me: god you’re killing me 

Pouring the drinks, but Josh sneaks over to grab them before I can. 

“How was your break?” I ask quietly. 

“Lovely,” He nods slightly, “How’s your night going?” His eyes dart to my phone and back at me. The warmth spreads through me again, and I just clear my throat quietly. 

He grabs my arm before quietly spitting out, “Oh, my sweet little brother, I’m not blind. You’ve been obsessively checking it; what is she saying to you?” 

I can’t help but laugh, “I don’t think you want to hear it.” Raising my eyebrows as we look at each other, his grin grows across his face. 

“Oh! Well, in that case, there’s a can of WD-40 in the back if you need to loosen up those joints before you see her,” he winks as he tells me, backing away with the drinks, and I flip him off carefully before I point to the table they’re supposed to be going to. 

Charlotte: I just know you’d take such good care of me 

Me: whatever you wanted 

Charlotte: [sends photo]

A small groan escapes as I look at her. In my shirt, she’s peeking over her shoulder into the mirror. She’s definitely holding it up slightly because she’s sat on the counter, her ass perfectly outlined by that god-forsaken lace again. My cock twitches the longer I stare at her. 

Me: for me? 

My mouth goes dry at the thought of seeing her like that in person; the realization that it could happen was hitting me. I look at the time, 11:58 pm, before locking my phone and tossing it back under the bar. 

“You can go if you want,” I tell Josh, leaning into him. 

He scans the room, “Are you positive?” A fair amount of the booths and tables have cleared out at this point and there are just a few stragglers aside from the actual bar. 

“Very. I can handle the rest of the night. Get out of here while it’s still early..ish,” I tell him, grabbing his shoulder with a light squeeze. 

“I will not argue that,” he mutters, “if I’m asleep, love you and goodnight.” He pats my arm a few times as he walks past me. 

Charlotte: just you baby 🤭 

Me: wish i could kiss you right now 

Charlotte: I wish you could do more than that 

Me: don’t think I’d be able to control myself 

Not a lie. I don’t think I’ve ever felt tension like this in my life. The fact I’m stuck here feels like low-grade torture. I grab a towel and some spray, making my rounds throughout the tables. I try to get some of the cleaning done, hoping it’ll help distract me a little. 

My phone vibrates against my leg, and my heart drops, knowing it’s her. 

Charlotte: [sends photo]

“Fuck me,” I quietly mutter to myself. She’s sat on her floor, her hands pulling some of my shirt in between her legs, but not enough to fully hide her lingerie. Her hair was messy and draped over her shoulders. A glorious shot of her tits, so gently pressed into each other. The desperate need to kiss my way up her legs grows stronger as I stare at them. 

Me: Charlotte. 

I wipe the table in front of me slowly so I can give myself a second to chill out before having to turn around. 

Charlotte: yes, Jacob? 

My self-control is on the floor at this point. 

Me: come here

Charlotte: really? 

Me: yes please come here. 

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The moment she walked in, it made the last thirty minutes feel like they hadn’t even happened. She finds her usual seat at the bar, letting a smile sneak onto her face when she gets comfortable. 

Why am I nervous now? 

Bringing over her drink, it’s hard not to notice what she’s wearing. She knows what she’s doing. As I slide it across the bar, I realize that she left the bulk of the shirt unbuttoned and just tucked into her pants carefully. 

“Hi,” she squeaks out, timidly grabbing the glass in front of her. Watching how the glass sits on her lip when she drinks, the movement of her throat when she swallows. I hadn’t thought of what I was doing when I told her to come here. This is worse.

“Hi,” I manage to get out, “you look .. nice.” My eyes trailed down her body, trying not to make it too obvious to anybody else, but the moment I noticed that I could see the same bra she had on in the pictures she sent me, my heart stopped. She must have caught me because she leaned forward in her seat a little, making the shirt shift so I had an even clearer shot of it. 

I slowly blink as my head shakes, taking a subtle deep breath because I still have forty-five minutes before I can kick everybody out. 

“What’s wrong?” she asks coyly. 

“I think you know.” Backing away to make sure everybody else at the bar is good, I feel like I have to manually move my eyes away from her. Why didn’t I tell her to get here later? I have to act normal and I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that right now. 

Thankfully, for me, around 1:30 am is when most people start to head out, so I spend a few minutes grabbing the tabs for people, taking care of those while I feel her eyes on me the entire time. The customers next to her also want to head out, so I bring over their receipt, leaning into the bar a bit purposefully, letting my shirt fall open a little more where I know she can see it. I glance over at her with my eyebrow cocked as I see her eyes shoot up to meet mine. 

“I saw that,” I mumble to her. 

The corners of her lips curling up slightly, she whispers back, “Good.” 

As time crept by, I wonder to myself why I thought having her here would be the better option. We’ve been having staring contests the entire time, not even saying anything to each other, just from across the bar. 

There’s only a few stragglers lingering, so I do one more lap around the tables, making sure to grab anything that was left. But, the moment she’s in my peripheral vision again, my self-control lowers more. 

Strolling up behind her, fighting the urge to wrap my arms around her, I rest my hand on the base of her neck. 

“You doing okay?” I ask, my hand squeezing the back of her neck gently. 

Her head turned a little to try and look at me, “I could be better.” The smile on her face was making me sweat. 

“Give me like ten minutes,” I lean in close to her ear, “I’ll make sure of it.”  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

 Following the last customers to the door, I flip off the signs as they make their way out. My heart is pounding as I turn the locks over on the doors. The sudden realization that we’re fully alone washes over me, but the need to feel her touch overrides it. 

I turn around to look at her, and she’s already walking over to me. I quickly meet her halfway, my hands pulling her face to me, the desperate need to feel her lips on mine finally relieved as the kiss goes on. Her hands pull on my shirt like she can’t get close enough. Leaning down, I grab the backs of her knees, lifting her up, and her legs wrap around me, never detaching from the kiss. Her hands slide up into my hair as she smiles against my lips. 

Walking her back over, I set her on the bar top, my hands on either side of her. Kissing the side of her neck, I can see her breathing getting heavier. Fiddling with the buttons on my shirt, exposing her. The dark red lace against her pale complexion, holy shit, only looking at her for a moment before trailing kisses down her sternum. My hands find their place around her waist, hovering my mouth over her, looking up at her; she’s intently watching me, letting out a tiny whimper. 

“Please, Jacob,” she breathes out. 

My mouth connects with her instantly; her moan rings through my ears. I slide my hand up, gently pulling the lace away from her, and goosebumps slowly creep in. Letting my thumb graze over her peaked nipple, I press a kiss to her other breast. 

Her thighs tense up with every time I swirl my tongue around her. Moving my hands and spreading her thighs so I can stand between them, pulling her to the edge of the bar. She unbuttons her pants, pushing them down, and lifting herself enough to slide them to her thighs for me. 

“Well, aren’t you an eager little thing?” I mumble, pulling them off her. “Lay back for me, honey?” She practically fell to her elbows, her eyes locked on me. 

Pressing wet kisses down her stomach but stopped as soon as I hit the dainty lace. The nerves of touching her for the first time hit; don’t fuck this up.  I run my hands down her thighs, pushing them further apart before teasingly leaving little kisses closer and closer to where she really wants me to be. 

“Is this okay?” Looking up at her from between her legs. She lets out a breathy ‘yes’; her eyes look desperate for some sort of touch. I plant a kiss over her covered clit, getting the most delicious moan out of her. I can’t resist from pulling the fabric to the side. She’s soaked already. 

One slow lick up her center, and she already dropped her head back. Smiling as I swirl my tongue around her clit, lightly sucking, doing anything to keep the noises coming out of her. She’s so quiet typically, I would have never expected her to be so vocal, but I’m not complaining. 

“Oh my god, Jake,” she moans. The sound of my name falling from her lips has me groaning into her. She tastes so sweet; I can’t get enough of her. You would think I was starving with the way my mouth couldn’t stop. Glancing up at her as my tongue laps around her clit, her eyes meeting mine as she lets out another delicious moan. I tease her with my middle finger, just barely touching her, and she jumps at the feeling. 

“Please,” she whines, still looking down at me. 

“Oh, you want this?” I ask, sliding my middle finger into her and slowly pumping my hand into her, watching her mouth fall open. The wetter she gets, the faster I go. Trying to find just the right spot, needing to make her feel good. Pressing up so slightly as I pull back. The way her mouth opens more; that’s it, sweet girl. 

“Oh- oh my god,” she moans out, “more, please. Please, baby.”  The name makes my heart flutter and my dick twitch; my ring finger joins in, watching her eyes roll back and pressing up into that special place that makes her want to scream. I pump my fingers into her, listening to her pretty moans as she keeps grabbing the edges of the bar like they’re her lifeline. 

“Oh, is that good?” 

 A slew of ‘oh my gods’ and ‘holy shit’ come from her as I start to play with her clit with my other hand. Rubbing little circles to drive her mad, watching her writhe with pleasure, her back arching off the bar. Fuck me. 

“Come for me, honey.” 

I can feel her about to break, dipping my head down and swirling around her quickly with my tongue. Her hands tangled themselves in my hair, holding me there. Groaning into her at the feeling and lifting her leg so I can wrap my arm around her, the back of her knee lands over my shoulder as I’m pulling her into me. 

“Oh- baby, don’t stop, please, please- oh, oh my GOD,” her volume increases as her orgasm hits her, and she’s pulling my hair as she’s practically riding my face. My name has never sounded better than the way she’s yelling it. 

She sits up after a minute, pulling my face to hers and planting a kiss on me. 

“Where did you- how- um, so .. yeah, how did you?” She stumbles over her words, and without stopping, she’s unbuttoning my shirt. I laugh as she’s trying to form a coherent thought. 

“I told you it would be worth it,” I whisper into her ear, placing a kiss just below it. “But, I‘m not done with you yet,” comes out of me, in almost a growl.  Who am I? 

Helping her off the bar, she grabs my arms, turning us around and pushing me back into it. Her hands work my belt and button in my jeans as fast as they can as she’s trailing kisses down my neck. Her hand dipping into my boxers; I let out a groan when she wraps her hand around me. 

“I need you,” slips out of me as she strokes a few times. She presses her lips to mine, mumbling in between kisses, “Please, fuck me, Jacob.” I can’t stop the moan that comes out after that. 

“I don’t have a-,“ I start to whisper when she cuts me off quickly. 

“That's okay,” she tells me, kissing underneath my jaw. I grab her arms, already missing the feeling of her hand on me. Walking her backwards, our heated kisses made it hard to walk straight. I slide the shirt off of her and toss it onto a barstool.  Reaching a table, I spin her around so her back is against my chest, my hands snaking around her small frame. I reach up, softly rubbing small circles over her nipples until her head falls back onto me. 

My right hand crept up, sliding it up her throat until I was holding her jaw. Her mouth opens slightly at the feeling; taking the risk, I lightly rest my finger on her lip. Unprepared for her to immediately tilt her head back up, wrapping her lips around it.

“Fuck,” I mumble under my breath. “Can you bend over for me, honey?” Her tongue swirls around it before  She leans forward onto the table, pushing her ass into me. 

 She knows what she’s doing. My hands slide over her. I squat down for just a second, spreading her open and licking a wide stripe up her. I saw the goosebumps on her skin as I kiss her before standing up. 

I slide my boxers down far enough for my cock to be free, the relief from being out alone. I pull the lace to the side again, lining myself up with her. Slowly pushing into her, she lets out a loud moan. God, she feels good.  I let myself bottom out in her, giving her a second before I move. And myself, to be honest. 

“Baaaby,” she lets out. I hold her hips as I start to pull back, slowly thrusting into her. My own moans start falling out as our pace picks up. Looking down as I push into her, my mouth hangs open; the feeling is surreal. 

“Feel good?” 

She lets out a small ‘yes’ while she arches her back more. The sounds of my hips slapping against her, the way I can feel how wet she is, the feeling as she’s pushing back against my thrusts to feel as full as she can. 

“Holy shit, Charlotte.” 

She looks back at me through her eyelashes and, with the sweetest voice, tells me, “harder.”

 My heart pounds at her words. Without hesitation, I step my left foot up onto the booth, gripping her waist, and start snapping my hips as hard as I can into her. I bite the inside of my lip as her moans get louder while I keep hitting the right spot over and over. Fuck, she feels so good.  Watching how she stretches her arms in front of her, her knuckles white with how hard she’s holding her own hand.  

I bend down, hovering my lips over her ear when I whisper, “I know you have one more for me, honey.” Her moan was enough of a response for me. My necklace barely grazed the skin between her shoulder blades, and I watched the goosebumps flood her skin. I press a kiss against that same spot before standing back up. I grab her arms, pulling her up so her back is pressed against me. My hand dipped in between her legs, finding her clit that was just screaming for my attention. My fingers quickly start working at it, as her chest is heaving at this point, and I can feel her orgasm about to break. Both of us breathe heavily as she tilts her head back, and I sneak a kiss on her neck, letting out a small ‘mmm’ against her skin. 

“Jacob, baby,” she moans. 

“Tell me,” I groaned back to her. 

“I’m gonna-“ is all she gets out before her jaw goes slack and her eyes are fixed shut.

“Let it out,” I whisper as I pound into her.  She's moaning loudly in my ear, pulling my hand away when she starts to get too sensitive. I slow my hips down so she can recover, watching the soft smile settle on her lips. She pulls my arms around her, leaning her head back against me until she shifts slightly, and we both remember that I’m still buried inside her. 

“Hun, I’m not gonna last much longer,” I tell her quietly before I press a kiss to her temple. She taps my hip a few times so I’d back up. She drops down and just, with no thought, slides my cock into her mouth. Swirling her tongue around it as she bobs her head up and down the length of it. Using her hands on whatever she can’t comfortably do with her mouth. And god, is she good at it. 

The thought of her doing this after she just came on me inches me closer. I glance down to see her looking back up at me, and the visual alone has me two seconds away from finishing. 

“I’m so close, don’t stop,” it’s my turn to whimper. She pushes it further into her mouth, she swallows around me and I’m done for. One of my hands found its place on the back of her head, fighting the urge to thrust into her. 

“Fuck, Charlotte—“ Practically yelling her name as I release into her throat, her hands working me through it. Swallowing as she stands up, she presses a gentle kiss on my lips. I can’t believe that just happened. 

“Well, um,” I mumble, breathing heavily and wrapping my arms around her, “that was..” 

“So fucking good.” She giggles, tucking her face into me, mumbling, “You’re so hot.”

My face feels warm when she says it; she thought it was that good?  We stand there for a few minutes, just laughing, as she’s curled up in my arms. 

“Wanna just sleep here?”

“Only if you’ll carry me up the stairs,” she says with a little smirk, her hands pressed against my chest, “I don’t think my legs could do it right now.” 

“You’re gonna give me a complex,” I laugh, kissing her forehead, “get dressed real quick.” ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

After pretending to be Prince Charming and carrying her up the two flights of stairs, we both immediately crawl into bed. She makes herself comfortable, tugging my arm over her so she can back herself into me and wiggling her ass against my dick. 

“Hey now,” I mumble, “don’t start something you’re not gonna finish.” 

Her soft laughs fill the room, “Who said I wouldn’t finish it?” 

“Charlotte.”

“What, baby?” Her voice taunts me as she slides her hand into mine and arching her back a little. My entire body feels like it’s full of butterflies. 

My face tucked into her, I quietly laughed while pressing kisses to the top of her shoulder. If she keeps calling me that, I don’t know how I’m going to ever say no to her. I kiss the side of her neck, pulling her body tight against mine before whispering into her ear, “You’re gonna have to stay quiet this time. Can you do that for me, honey?”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Sixteen

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[dontcallmeeds]

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4

Eddie takes the piece of metal for the new piece and runs his torch along it. The flame flickers against the silver as he does, white hot.

But instead of bending it quite yet, he hammers down on it roughly before flicking the flame over it again. He bends it around the sizing device, still estimating Steve’s ring size to be just under his.

Once it’s shaped and melded together, he hammers it more, giving some of it a rougher edge.

The next part is tricker, the oxidation process.

Eddie is grateful his uncle stays out of his room and his business, he’s sure by now that the noises that aren’t just Iron Maiden or his own musical talents have caused confusion and intrigue.

He meant to tell his uncle about his jewelry, but honestly it made him nervous for people to see his work and know it was his. Like suddenly they’d change their minds and decide it was actually quite shit.

Especially the person he was giving most of his projects to.

Eddie takes out the clean plastic box from under his work station and puts a paper towel on the bottom, soaking in ammonia. He covers it with a plastic lid after the smell hits him and opens his tiny trailer bedroom window.

Realistically, he shouldn’t do this in the confined space, but he figures he’s inhaled enough bad shit; he’ll survive.

Eddie opens the box again to take a piece of tinfoil next and puts it in the middle of the box for the ring to sit on, then rolls the ring in the ammonia. He pours salt onto the ring, focusing on the spots he hammered more.

Placing it on the tinfoil, Eddie smiles to himself. This piece is going to be beautiful, but it’s also rougher than the last few pieces.

Steve would probably think his secret admirer, a woman no doubt, bought it from somewhere a little edgier. Eddie sighs at that thought, wishing he wasn’t such a coward. Wishing he could just tell him outright.

But it really wasn’t that simple.

As Eddie sketches out the final details of the ring, he hears the front door open, figuring Wayne might’ve come home on lunch. He had been doing that a lot lately, coming home from work to eat, to check up on Eddie.

But Eddie startles when he turns around to his own door swinging open, something his uncle would never do without knocking and waiting on an answer.

Mike Wheeler and Lucas Sinclair stand in his doorway, arguing something about their character sheets for the next campaign and apparently needing Eddie to be the tiebreaker.

Before he can hide the sketch or the box with the ring—

“What’s that?”

They ask it in unison with wide eyes and pinched noses, staring at the box containing his next secret gift to Steve.

“Nothing,” Eddie moves it aside with the sketchbook on top, trying to walk forward until they all go into the living room. He isn’t that lucky.

“It looks important,” Mike tries to look over his shoulder at the work station.

“Yeah, looks like a secret,” Lucas so helpfully chimes in, little shit.

“Can you guys drop it? What’s this about your—“

“We can stand here all day,” Lucas folds his arms with a smirk, nudging Mike’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m what Nancy likes to call ‘insufferable’,” Mike follows up, and Eddie has to stop himself from snorting at that.

“Fine! God, you guys are the worst and I’m starting to regret bringing you under my wing,” Eddie doesn’t, not once, but who is he if not dramatic, “you have to swear to secrecy of the highest level. It’s quite literally life or death.”

They exchange looks and then smile wide at Eddie, nodding in agreement with the terms. He takes a deep breath and starts.

“Eww, seriously? Steve? Like my sister’s ex, that Steve?!”

“For the millionth time, baby Wheeler, yes. Like your sister’s ex,” Eddie rubs his temples, having to literally repeat himself for the last twenty minutes.

The boys finally stop asking questions shortly after, at least about Steve.

“So how long does it sit like,” Lucas gestures vaguely to the now fully covered box, “that for?”

“About twenty four hours,” Eddie answers.

“So you make your own? All your rings and chains?” Mike asks, seemingly dropping his whole Steve grudge. For now.

“Yeah, have been since I was sixteen probably,” Eddie outstretches his hands and stares down at them himself.

“Cool,” is the last thing Mike adds before they seem to move on from the subject all together and ask about their character sheets once again finally.

The night becomes an ongoing argument, Eddie having to break them up multiple times. But he can’t help but feel a little relieved from being able to have people who know about his secret.

The teens leave late with promises to keep everything under wraps, they of course both want updates, even begging to come with to drop the next ring off. Eddie says he’ll think about it, but they’ll be louder than his clunky van so he’ll just tell him later he forgot.

The next afternoon, the ring is ready to pull out and he looks it over with pride. Taking fine grit sandpaper, he rubs over the piece and inspects it thoroughly to make sure it’s ready for final touches.

Taking a silver wire that he already prepped, Eddie takes jewelry pliers and wraps it around the thinnest piece of the ring. He fires over it and looks it over one last time.

It’s everything he wanted it to be, nothing else he’s given Steve has looked like this.

Smiling to himself, Eddie puts it in it’s box and writes the note to accompany it.

‘Stevie, something different.’

[whisperingexecutioner]

“The Ghost of You” | Vladimir Makarov drabble (MW3)

____________________________________________________

Summary:

Just Makarov and his deep musings over a love lost.

Notes:   

Fandom: Modern Warfare 3, Call of Duty Setting: Moscow, Russia (unspecified location) Pairing: Vladimir Makarov x Female Reader Theme: Loss Prompt: Loneliness and reminiscence Attire: Casual Military gear

Inspiration: Was listening to ''Atlantic'' by Sleep Token when the idea for this popped into my head, so I wrote it. Just a drabble mostly for self entertainment cause I love this edgy man <3

Rating: G - sfw

____________________________________________________

July 14th, private cemetery on the outskirts of Moscow, Russia, 7:20 a.m.

The sunflowers are in full bloom. As are the roses, unfurling their full, dew-laden buds before the light of day. They are beautiful, as you would have probably said, just as you were. You would have loved them. Especially the blushing red ones nearest to your plot.

I still feel your warmth beside me, sometimes, when I'm halfway in that familiar haze of a particularly lucid dream, only to wake without you here. Sometimes I wonder, if it was always going to be this way, and somehow I think some part of me knew it would be. One day. Ah, but this…it wasn't meant to happen like this. Your existance - however fleeting - was something of great importance to me. It hadn't always been so, but you made it impossible for me to feel any other way, for me not to love you. Upon our first meeting I suppose I must have caught your eye, and from that moment forward, everything you ever did was to try and prove your worth to me. Wholly devoted to both myself and my cause, you quickly became a close ally. Someone who shared in my vision, and knew better than most that loyalty was everything; any betrayal, however great or small, would mean your immediate demise. This you understood from the start. As it was, your life was a gamble and the stakes could not have been higher, but for reasons I could not understand at that time, you chose to live it by my side. To witness the birth of greater Russia, whilst tangled in your ambitious lover's embrace. My embrace. How I wish I would have realized sooner, just what it was that you felt.

The future was meant to be ours, to shape as we saw fit. We were to carve out our stake of the world, to share in the revelry as we sat in the ashes of the old nations that would give rise to a stronger motherland.

. . . so why do I now sit alone here, thinking only of you? Of a future yet un-lived?

In the end, I suppose the song will always remain the same. Perhaps, I was truly never a man meant to love and be loved, but nevertheless I did. I had loved you, любимый, my darling. In me, you will forever live on, and should my memory one day fade, your pleasant smile will be the very last thing that death steals from me.

I go now with Yuri, away from this place, away from your grave. Your final place of peace. This is not our last goodbye, but for now it is a farewell. There are urgent things we must attend to, things made possible because of those who share in my vision. Made possible because of you. If I were to say that, for once in my life I had ever truly been happy, it would have been for the joy that stemmed from our simple interactions together; for the intimate moments we shared, and at feeling the depths of your unwavering affection and fondness.

You really were something else, something special, to have fallen so far for a man like myself. One day I know that I will join you in death, my little dove, but for now I must go. I bid you do svidaniya, until we meet again.

[themistressdomme]

Oh I fear you underestimate my neediness! I think simply grinding on your leg after so much teasing would be enough to make me cum! I’m curious if cumming without permission would have any consequences…guess I should write about that scenario next…but I also have another one in mind, but fiiirst back to this!!

Being able to finally brush my pussy against something more than just the teasing air, it would make me whimper needily while clasping my hands around your leg not caring how desperate I look. I would almost shrink under your watchful eyes, fully dressed while I’m sitting at your feet with only my panties and the toy inside me otherwise fully nude, nipples hardening and goosebumps of excitement all over my body.

Basically drooooling over your strap, especially if you tell me “your throat is mine to use, my hole to ruin”🫠 I’m almost sure there will soon be a puddle of wetness underneath my panties from how horny it’s making me. Telling me how you will love to see my tummy bulge just like my throat is, looking all pretty and used for you. Especially with the praise/degradation combination, makes me go weak at the knees! Makes me want to be the perfect toy for you, to abuse my holes, make me cough and gag around the strap but letting it slide down my throat each time till there is drool and tears all over my face.

I would be eager to clean up your strap, and with the toy vibrating inside of me and my uncoordinated hip movements buckling against your leg I’m sure I would look extra desperate and pathetic. The strap cleaned up with my mouth but my mind is already thinking about it disappearing inside my wet pussy, clit throbbing at that thought. Not even noticing your arms grabbing me until I’m already getting pressed into the couch. And oh I love it when the sadistic mommy in you comes out (not that it isn’t always around ofc😘) but I might be a bit embarrassed at how wet it sounds when you start slapping my pussy…drenched from the teasing and from how turned on the deepthroating made me🫠

I would beg soooo prettily for you! Desperate to feel your strap inside of me “pleaseee mommy fuck me please! I need to feel you inside me please fill me up!” until I cry tears of despair, my legs spread wide for you like an invitation.

The feeling when you finally fill me would be indescribable, I might just cum right there and then when you brush your fingertip over my clit, back arching and pussy squeezing around your strap. Finally, finally being filled by mommy and feeling so good I might need a moment to come back to my senses while you keep fucking me, pushing all the way inside me against the resistance to make me feel properly filled. I hope your arms are strong, and a bruise shaped like your hand will be the perfect reminder of how good you fucked me, taking me right back to the ecstasy I felt when you fucked me with your hand wrapped around my throat holding me down. I would love to be Mommy’s doll and I would thank Mommy after each orgasm she gives me until my voice is hoarse from screaming and cumming so many times! Of course I will clean up your cock Mommy, probably with my cheeks blushing as I see what a mess I left on your strap, or maybe still dizzy from the hard fucking and needing your hands to lead me to your strap again so you can give me another deep throatfucking.

Ufff and seeing you still standing infront of me with the harness ugh I might melt right there on the floor! But we can’t have that, the evening just started and is about to be continued in the bedroom. My legs-shaking or not- will be spread to show you what a mess you left my cunt, swollen and puffy from the hard pounding and my clit pulsing with the reminiscence of the orgasms I had. But since my pussy is glistening wet, it should be fucked again right?

part 1

Oh, my cutest little toy, you really think cumming without permission has no consequences? When I'm the sadistic Domme in question? You make me cackle 😘😈 Oh I look forward to your next scenario 😉

Aw, my sweet toy. Being given the go-ahead to grind your pathetic little cunt on my leg sure would make you whine needily, hm? That's a good little toy, knowing her place. You look so good down there after all, doll. Show me exactly how wet you are, hm? I'll watch you like a hawk as you greedily grind against my leg. I bet you'll so so pretty and so small down there, won't you?

Your throat is mine to use, darling. You're just a cute little set of holes for me to ruin, aren't you? Such a good thing. Let me see you drip for me - otherwise, how will I know you're a needy little slut for me, sweet? 😘 Yes, I'm positive that you'll look so lovely with by cockbulge in your tummy as well as in your throat. Mommy will make sure to ruin both holes and fuck them deep, hm? You may cough and gag when I'm pushing myself deep into your throat, but you won't stop. You're just too needy of a good toy to stop me. You'll take every single inch as I give it to you, gratefully, as I go deeper and deeper down your throat. My, my, won't you look so fucking pretty with tears and drool running down your little face? Every time I pull out to let you breathe, you'll thank me, won't you? Such a good set of holes for me you are. I'll make sure to keep going until you tap me each time, telling me you need to breathe. Aw, darling, don't worry. I'll let you breathe, if you must.

Oh, just an uncoordinated, desperate mess? All for Mommy? Well that's just what I need from my pretty fucktoy. You're already thinking about my strap disappearing into another hole of yours whilst your mouth is still busy, hm? I think you've got too much of your brain still working. Let me fuck your tight throat until I have you as nothing more than a whimpering, babbling mess from sheer desperation and neediness. I'll be obsessed, watching myself deep inside your throat, over and over again.

That is, until I've had enough of your pretty mouth, and I want to fuck your pretty, dripping pussy. You'll beg so prettily, I just know it. I'll pin you into the couch, and you'll barely be able to squirm, let alone move. That's okay, Mommy just needs your pretty hole, darling. And won't I be able to see it open, dripping, and ready for me? If you beg like that, I might just be so tempted to bottom out in you on the first thrust, hm? But I'm sure my perfect little toy can take it. You're a good little slut, after all. Tears of desperation on your face as well? Aren't you a sight for sore eyes 💋 Maybe I'll hold out a little longer to see how pretty you cry for me. You're such a slut, aren't you, crying because you're just so desperate to be fucked out 😈

I'll tease your wet cunt, first with my fingers. Featherlight touches, just to see how sensitive and worked up you are already. One light touch to your clit and you're arching and clenching around nothing, hm? Hold on, let me fix that for you, my pretty slut. I'll smack your pussy a few times with my length before bottoming out in you completely. I sure would feel you squeezing around me, won't I? A pretty pussy for me to play with, that's what you are 💋 Take all the time you need to come back to your sense, but I'm not going to be stopping for you to adjust 😈 You wanted to be fucked? I'm going to fill you up and fuck into you, hard. Resistance or not, I'll pound into you like the perfect little fuckdoll you are for Mommy. Oh darling, my hands are strong. I've been told I have a death grip, so I hope you're ready for some beautiful marks on your body, hm? You've got such good manners, remembering to thank Mommy after each and every single orgasm I give you. Good girls get to cum again, and again, and again. Oh, you're sensitive? Well, get over it, because I love making you cum and I'm not stopping.

Mommy might not even give you any time to recover before I lift you up from my cock and tell you to put your pretty face hole to use once more, cleaning up the filthy mess you left over me. Aw, poor thing, are you embarrassed at how hard you came all over my cock? Look at it. Really look at it. Your wetness and creaminess, glistening all over it. Clean it up like the complete package doll you are, hm? 😘 Do you need my strong hands to guide you? To keep you in your rightful place, face first on my cock? That's alright, sweet, but you're going to thank me by taking me into your throat again. God, I love fucking your throat. You become so drooly and your eyes glaze over like the good doll you are.

I'll stand right in front of you with my harness on, darling, whilst you're on your pretty, red and bruised knees, mouth and throat full of my strap. My, my, you'd look incredible like that.

Good girl. Keep those legs spread for me - Mommy likes to admire her handywork, after all. Cunt all swollen, red, and puffy from everything it took, hm? Such a good hole for me to use 😘 And yes, of course. A glistening wet cunt means that it should be a well-fucked cunt. Come on, now, the night is still young, and I'm not going to be finished with you until I've made you give me every. last. drop. of your arousal.

(part 1)

[caesarandthecity]

Time in Prison

Since the dawn of mythology, time has always been seen as an absolute and relentless power. Saturn, also known as Chronos in Greek mythology, is the god who devours his own children, a metaphor for the inevitability of time that consumes everything. Chronos created time as an infinite current, a force that shapes life, ages, and destroys, never stopping or looking back.

However, the modern view of time gained new dimensions with Albert Einstein and his Theory of Relativity. Einstein taught us that time is not a straight line but something flexible—it can stretch and shrink, depending on speed and gravity. For some, time passes slowly; for others, too quickly. But one truth remains: we can never go back, only move forward.

It is in this paradox that time becomes more than just a concept—it becomes a lived experience, especially when incarcerated. Time in prison becomes its own entity, a prison within a prison—stretched, endless, relentless. Here, time is a cruel dance between Chronos and relativity, a battle fought daily, minute by minute.

Here’s a gift, some advice, a word of encouragement: the more you fill your time with activities that elevate you as a human being, the faster time passes. This is called the state of flow—that moment when you are so absorbed in what you’re doing that you don’t even notice time passing. I rediscovered my love for reading in prison; I would read a book a day. And I didn’t just read—I realized we consume so little of a book, so I marked the pages I loved most, and when I finished the book, I wrote an essay about it. I still have those writings with me.

I redid high school, studied all the subjects; it was a unique experience to go back and study everything I had learned as a young man, but now in another language. I even asked the prison for a calculator to better follow the math classes, but since there were none available, I did the calculations by hand! I studied personal development, religion, and watched the video “Chasing the Dragon” repeatedly, which shows addicts and ex-addicts and their battles against addiction. It helped me a lot to understand my own methamphetamine addiction and where it could lead me.

I decided to work out and started right there in my cell. Of course, my cellmate laughed at first, but I just didn’t care—I kept going. Slowly, I gained more confidence, and that confidence spread to other areas of my life. Even today, I meditate and do yoga every morning, just as I did in prison. I would wake up before the C.O. called us for breakfast. By the time it was time to serve breakfast, I had already meditated, done yoga, brushed my teeth, changed clothes, and combed my hair.

I did yoga straight on the floor, no mat, no blanket, no blocks. It helped me immensely every day, and I became much more aware of my body. And I didn’t care what others thought. To them, it wasn’t normal. How dare I enjoy that moment in prison when they were all there suffering, with their families suffering outside? I heard that many times. But the truth is, it all comes down to choices. I made mine; they made theirs.

I wrote in my diary every day, about the past, the present, and my hopes and dreams for the future. I wrote stories, fiction, and about the reality of my past. I cried a lot—every month, every week, almost every day. I cried asking for forgiveness, I cried accepting forgiveness, I cried always in gratitude, never asking for anything.

Sometimes, I felt like the day wasn’t long enough for all the activities I wanted to do. I even enjoyed the days we were locked in our cells all day, as it was an opportunity to read uninterrupted. Gradually, I created a routine, added new activities, replaced others, and time went by.

Until, one day, the last day finally arrived.

Filling my time and diving into this state of flow made me see the prison experience differently. The walls no longer felt like they were closing in, and the barred windows no longer stopped my mind from flying and building a better future for myself. I thought about creating a list of goals to achieve after prison, but I wanted something deeper than a simple list. I went to understand the etymology of the word "Meta." The word "Meta" comes from the ancient Greek "μετά" (metá), meaning "beyond," "target," or "purpose." Originally used to denote something that goes beyond the here and now, "Meta" carries the sense of transcending, of seeking something beyond the current point—a goal, a change, an evolution.

Understanding that to reach a goal, one must transcend and change, I wrote down all my goals knowing that, to achieve them, I would have to change my current state. With that understanding and knowing I was imprisoned, I chose to use my time to my advantage, filling it with as much flow as possible.

Encouraging Message:

Never underestimate the power of your time and what you can do with it. Even in the darkest places, it’s you who decides how to fill your days. Find your flow, immerse yourself in what helps you grow, and remember: time doesn’t have to be your enemy; it can be your ally in building a better future. No matter where you are, you are stronger than you think.

[saibugslegacy]

Chapter 3 - A First-Rate Hogsmeade Experience | Percival

A Mourning Warning Masterlist A Mourning Warning Tag Read it on AO3, read it on Wattpad

One charmed compass spell and trek through the castle later, Percival and Idris arrived at what Percival hoped was the Transfiguration classroom. Before they went in Percival took a moment to put his ear to the door, just to make sure they weren’t about to burst in on a class. There were voices coming from within but nowhere near as many as a class would have.

Idris shrugged and opened the door, leading the way inside. On the other side of the large classroom Professor Weasley was sitting at her desk talking to Deek while a goblin loitered next to the desk. Percival raised an eyebrow and exchanged a look with Idris.

I think it’s fine, Idris communicated without a word.

I hope so, Percival replied. 

“What about the Room, Professor?” Deek suggested.

“Precisely what I was thinking,” Professor Weasley agreed. ”Perhaps you could help.”

Deek glanced over and finally spotted the twins waiting by the door.

“Oh! Excuse Deek,” Deek apologized. Before Percival could tell him there was nothing to apologize for he snapped his fingers and disappeared. 

“Ah, there you are,” Professor Weasley stood up from her desk to greet them. “I trust your first classes went well?”

“They did indeed, Professor,” Percival answered. “Idris did amazing in Defense Against the Dark Arts especially.”

“He’s glossing over him learning a charm first try and mastering it in one class,” Idris sighed and shook their head exasperatedly. “Typical.”

“There’s someone I wished for you to meet,” Weasley waved forward the goblin from next to her desk. “This is Gladik, a liaison for Gringotts. These are the Valley twins, Idris and Percival.”

“Lovely to meet you both,” Gladik nodded. “We received an owl from a Professor Fig that you were in need of funds to replace supplies. After your last visit to Gringotts, delivering them personally is the least we could do. Here you are.”

Gladik rummaged around in his pocket until he pulled out a key that looked oddly similar to the Portkey except for the Ancient Magic symbol. Though Percival couldn’t help noticing the top of the handle did still have a shape reminiscent of a flame. 

“What is it?” Percival questioned.

“The key to your vault,” Gladik answered. Percival tilted his head at the goblin while Idris’ eyebrows nearly disappeared into their curls.

“Uh, we don’t have a vault,” Idris explained. “Last night was the first time we’d ever been to Gringotts.”

“Perhaps, but it is the vault you inherited,” Gladik explained. “You are the children of Thomas Morganach, correct?”

Percival’s blood turned to ice. Did he mean Dad? Dad had a vault at Gringotts? And now it was theirs. He didn’t know which piece was worse, the fact their father’s will was being carried out so casually or the reminder of how much he’d hidden from them. Both of them felt like punches to the gut. 

“Yes,” Percival tried to answer but his voice came out a little strangled. He forcefully cleared his throat and tried again. “Yes, sir, yes we are.”

“The conditions of this vault were very specific,” Gladik told them. “You were only to receive this key upon your father’s death if you attended Hogwarts. Here you are, so here is your key.”

Idris’ hand shook as they reached out and took the key. They held it so tightly it had to be cutting into their palm. The goblin also pulled out a small pouch that jingled as he handed it to Percival.

“At Professor Weasley’s request, we also took out a small deposit in order to replace your supplies.”

“This is a small deposit?” Percival eyes widened as he opened the pouch and stared at the glittering gold, silver, and bronze coins. 

“The Morganachs are a particularly old Wizarding family,” Weasley told them. “Your family name goes back hundreds of years. Whether you take it is not a decision you need to worry about today, but it is an option should you so choose.”

Percival felt like he was going to throw up. He’d thought today would be less overwhelming, but so far it was anything but. All he had to deal with yesterday was dragons, goblins, and Portkeys. It would be easier to fight a thousand dragons than try to reconcile with the truth in all the lies they’d been told. His grip on the pouch kept tightening and tightening and in his free hand he was digging his thumbnail into another of his fingers just to give himself something to focus on other than screaming or crying or hitting something.

“Thank you Gladik,” Idris nodded to the goblin. As soon as the goblin nodded back and headed for the door Idris slid closer to Percival so their shoulders were pressed together. Percival managed to take a deep breath and though his grip on the bag didn’t loosen he was able to stop the stabbing sensation. “Professor, you mentioned a trip to Hogsmeade?”

“I did,” Professor Weasley agreed. “I’ve conferred with Deek and was informed that all of your things that could be found and saved were returned to your dorms. Many of your supplies survived however it seems your seeds, potion recipes, and spellcrafts were, ah, singed.”

“You can say ‘burned to a crisp’, Professor,” Percival replied with a dry chuckle. 

“I’m afraid that would be accurate,” Professor Weasley admitted. “There are certainly much more exciting reasons for this trip, however. For instance, finding the perfect wand. You managed your classes well with a borrowed wand. But you’ll find the magic you cast with your own wand to be far superior.”

“I’ve been looking forward to that for weeks,” Percival admitted. 

“He’s been reading about wand woods and memorizing wand cores like he’s going to be tested on them,” Idris informed her.

“And you kept asking me questions about them!” Percival retorted. “Don’t act like you’re not interested.”

“Casually yeah but you-”

“I’m sure Mr. Ollivander will be impressed with both your knowledge and your curiosity,” Weasley cut off their bickering quickly before it could escalate any further. Both the twins muttered apologies. “Professor Ronen is waiting for you in the courtyard to give you an additional assignment while I arrange for you to make your first visit to the village with a classmate or two. Help you get your bearings. Perhaps Natsai Onai and Sebastian Sallow? I was told you spent time with them in your classes today.”

“If by spent time with them you mean kicked their as-” Percival quickly elbowed Idris to shut them up.

“Yes, Professor, we did,” Percival nodded. “They’d be perfectly welcome.”

“Glad to hear it,” Professor Weasley said. “Both Mr. Sallow and Ms. Onai are capable young wizards, and they each know the area well. They’ll keep you well clear of any of Victor Rookwood’s undesirables en route.”

“Victor Rookwood?” Percival questioned.

“A rather unsavory local,” Professor Weasley answered, a tone in her voice Percival would describe as disgusted. “Best to avoid him and his associates—including his ‘right hand’ of sorts, Theophilus Harlow—if you can.”

“Stay clear of the unsavory locals, got it,” Idris promised. Percival narrowed his eyes at them for a split second to warn them they were indeed actually staying clear of Rookwood and they had the audacity to pout as soon as Weasley looked away.

“I will have your friends meet you at the castle’s doors,” Professor Weasley told them. “In the meantime you should complete Professor Ronen’s assignment. No time to waste.”

“We’re on it,” Percival said. “And thank you Professor.”

“Happy to help,” Weasley gave that warm smile again before returning to her desk.

The twins left and sure enough found Professor Ronen playfully levitating origami birds to look as if they were flying. After a quick conversation about the assignments they’d be given to help them learn and master new spells they’d missed, Professor Ronen walked them through casting Reparo. He blasted a few statues and fixtures in the courtyard to bits and let Percival and Idris practice putting them back together. The spell was remarkable. It fixed the damage without imperfection, and the amount of damage it could fix was especially impressive.

“Oh this is definitely going to be useful,” Idris had laughed. Percival wasn’t sure if they meant about their clothes or the amount of things that seemed to break in Idris’ presence.

Once Professor Ronen was satisfied with their mastery of the charm, he sent them off. They quickly got lost and had to use the charmed compass again but eventually they made it to the front doors where Sebastian and Natty stood talking to each other. 

“It’s quite the theory,” Natty was saying as they approached.

“I’m hoping Professor Sharp will let me- ah!” Sebastian noticed them first, playfully nodding his head in a small bow. “If it isn’t our new charges.”

“Apparently you two are to keep us clear of ‘unsavory locals’,” Idris pouted.

“Victor Rookwood, I assume?” Natty said.

“That’s the name Professor Weasley told us,” Idris nodded. 

“I’m sure we can handle it,” Sebastian claimed. “Professor Weasley said you needed supplies?”

“Well when our carriage was eaten by a dragon, most of our belongings were too,” Percival pointed out. “So yes, supplies.”

“I had no idea about your belongings,” Natty put a hand to her chest. “I’m very sorry.”

“It’s okay, apparently more of our things survived than we thought,” Percival replied. “I suppose we’ll find out when we get back.”

“I’m just glad my sketchbook made it,” Idris sighed.

“Sketchbook? Are you an artist?” Natty asked.

“More sketching than art,” Idris shrugged. “I’m a bit of an amateur clothing designer.”

“Really?” Sebastian raised an eyebrow. Percival wanted to say he was impressed but Sebastian was hard to read. “You should show me sometime. I’m not much of a designer but I’ve been known to mend and make some things now and again.”

“You got it,” Idris beamed like the sun as they bounced on their toes.

“Shall we set off then?” Natty said. “I intend to make sure you have a first-rate Hogsmeade experience.

In their mad dash into the castle after sunset, the twins hadn’t gotten much of a chance to see the grounds. But now they were laid out at their feet and Percival found a grin to rival Idris’ on his face. Every time he saw something new it hit him all over again that he was actually here. He’d never admit it, but he was so grateful to Idris for changing his mind. To think he’d almost stayed at Rosewood. Now he was on his way to get his own wand, he’d spent the day learning the intricacies of magic, and had actually made friends.

“Thank you two for accompanying us by the way,” Percival said.

“I was glad Professor Weasly asked us to show you the village,” Sebastian replied. 

“You were?” Idris said. 

“Of course,” Sebastian shrugged. “Idris is the only one who’s ever bested me in a duel. The way I see it, I’d be wise to keep an eye on you.”

“You certainly should,” Natsai agreed. “If Idris’ performance in this duel was anywhere near Percival’s in charms, they may just surpass you entirely.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Sebastian laughed. “But they may get close.”

“I was happy to join you as well,” Natsai told them. “I was actually planning to extend an invitation to Hogsmeade anyway. I thought you’d enjoy the chance to explore the village, so I’m glad Weasley trusted me enough to guide you.”

“I’m still surprised a Professor would entrust me with anything,” Sebastian confessed. “Considering my detention record.”

“Spend a lot of time in detention, huh?” Idris laughed.

“Just enough to make me well-rounded,” Sebastian returned their laugh with his own.

“Well you probably won’t be alone,” Idris sighed. “I spent a lot of time in detention back home, I doubt Hogwarts will be any different.”

“Treasure free air while it lasts,” Sebastian said.

“The fresh air is quite nice,” Natty agreed. “Especially after being cooped up in Ancient Runes. Grave mistake to take it as an elective class, believe me.”

Idris immediately doubled over in laughter because they were a complete traitor and Percival considered shoving them off the bridge they were crossing. Percival had indeed signed up for Ancient Runes, along with Arithmancy, Magic Theory, and Divination. At least Idris would be with him in Divination.

“What's so funny?” Sebastian questioned. 

“Percy signed up for Ancient Runes,” Idris explained.

“I’m sure it’s only because my mother selected the class for me,” Natty attempted to reassure him. “It’s rather monotonous and involves a great understanding of languages and culture.”

“Percival looooves languages and culture,” Idris was still snickering.

“Idris Pollux I swear I will hex you,” Percy threatened.

“You don’t know any hexes.”

“I will find a way to learn hexes.”

“There’s always the Restricted Section,” Sebastian suggested and Idris gasped like they’d just been horribly betrayed. “But you’ll probably want to be on good terms with Madam Scribner the librarian. I, however, am not.”

“How come?” Idris wondered.

“I suspect it’s a matter of differing opinions,” Sebastian said. “She thinks I shouldn’t be allowed in the Restricted Section, and I, on the other hand, am inclined to disagree.”

“Why are the books restricted?” Percival asked.

“Plenty of reasons,” Natty answered. “Some books are particularly rare and cannot be trusted to any student who happens to pick it up. Some are enchanted and unsafe to keep around students. Some are too advanced and inappropriate for the younger students. And some-”

“Have spells that aren’t taught at Hogwarts at all,” Sebastian finished. 

An entire section of books dedicated entirely to ‘forbidden’ knowledge. Knowledge not taught to students. The answers to questions normally avoided. Percival was silent for a few minutes as the conversation went on without him. What was in those books? How many breakthroughs and discoveries? Just the thought nearly drove him mad. He wasn’t sure how he’d convince someone to let him in but he had to try.

“Hey look! From the forest!” Idris nudged him and pointed towards the woods where a pair of magnificent beasts were flying out from the canopy. “Those are hippogriffs, right?”

“They are,” Sebastian replied. “That’s not a sight you see every day.”

“I wonder if something startled them,” Natty said.

As they approached another bridge they passed a group of students talking about the hippogriffs and a girl named Poppy, including Idris’ mortal enemy, Leander. It was obvious even to Percival that they were making fun of this Poppy girl, and he barely knew when people were teasing him. Idris scoffed as they passed.

“Oh shove a sock in it, Prewett,” Idris told him and when he started to say something Idris just raised a certain finger and kept walking without a care in the world.

“You and I are going to have a lot of fun this year,” Sebastian snickered. 

“The woods the hippogriffs came out of on the left is the Forbidden Forest,” Natty told them. “It is forbidden to all students.”

“Hence the name,” Percival nodded. 

“They think it’s too dangerous,” Sebastian explained. “I think they need to have more confidence in our defensive abilities.”

“Well, some of our defensive abilities,” Idris corrected him with a smirk.

“We get it, you’re good at defensive magic,” Percival sighed. 

“Have you had much chance to explore the castle?” Sebastian asked.

“A little,” Percival said. “It’s positively enormous.”

“I would spend all my time exploring if I could,” Natty sighed happily. “We learn a great deal in class and in the castle, but I will say much can be gleaned outside the castle walls.”

“Have you spent much time outside the castle?” Sebastian wondered. 

“As much as I possibly can,” Natty answered. “You?”

“You could say that,” Sebastian replied. “I’m from a little hamlet just on the other side of the mountain, Feldcroft.”

They all stepped to the side of the road as another thestral-drawn carriage passed them by. Just like before that cold deathly feeling washed over him, making him shiver. 

“I’ve always thought Thestrals pulling a carriage a bit grim,” Sebastian muttered. “Though I suppose most people don’t actually see them at all.”

“You sound like you can,” Percival raised an eyebrow. Sebastian hesitated, as if he was considering his words.

“Yes, I can,” Sebastian stated eventually.

“As can I,” Natty confessed.

“I guess we’ve all seen some horrible things,” Idris muttered.

Silence fell over the group and Percival tried to pretend it was the normal silence to follow a conversation, but it was much too heavy for that.

“How are you settling in?” Natty spoke up suddenly, thankfully changing the subject. “I remember the weeks following my arrival feeling quite strange.”

“Strange is…a word for it,” Percival said, mind immediately going to all it took just to get to the castle and the other things they’d surely have to deal with if Idris had a say. “But we’re getting used to it. I’d like to say we made a few friends and classes are obviously going alright.”

“It’ll definitely be easier now that we have, you know, things,” Idris added. “But I think exploring might be fun, I plan to give that a try.”

“If you ever have need of a companion I would be happy to join you,” Natty said.

“I'll keep that in mind, thank you,” Idris smiled at her.

They approached another bridge, this one covered by a wooden canopy. A painted sign hung from the archway, indicating they had indeed arrived in Hogsmeade. The first word that came to mind was cozy. It wasn't small, but it did seem very warm. There was an energy and liveliness in the air that immediately made you feel comfortable and at home. It wasn't nearly as gaudy or bright as wizards could tend to make things. In fact if not for the occasional floating instrument and the wares in shop windows, it would look a lot like any normal village. 

“Here we are!” Natty announced. “It's hard to choose where to start.”

“The Three Broomsticks is the place for butterbeer,” Sebastian told them. “Honeydukes has every sweet you can think of. Then of course there's Zonkos, and a bunch more. There's always something to do or see here.”

“I could not choose a favorite shop,” Natty agreed. “It changes with every visit.”

“So, how would you like to do this?” Sebastian asked. “Weasley mentioned you had a list of things to get—your wands and some other bits?”

“Seeds, spellcrafts, potion recipes,” Idris listed, counting on their fingers as they went. 

“I’m keen to see what you two can do with wands of your own,” Sebastian chuckled. “I just have to pop into a shop to find something for my sister. I can meet up with you all in the town circle when you’re finished.”

“Actually, with a short list you should have plenty of time to explore the village,” Natty pointed out. “You should experience the village at your own pace, and we can all meet in the town square later.”

“Sounds good to me,” Sebastian nodded and before he wandered off. Natty gave them a smile before doing the same.

“We should probably get our supplies before our wands,” Percival said and immediately got a groan from Idris. “Oh shush, I’m excited about it too, but we should be responsible.”

“Why are you no fun?” Idris pouted. “Fine, fine, let’s get the actually important things. The field guide has a map of Hogsmeade so let’s look at that.”

“Oh you’re right, I forgot about it,” Percival realized. He pulled out his Field Guide and quickly checked the index of the map which conveniently had each shop's main wares. The shop for spellcrafts was right across the street from them. “Let’s start there.”

Getting the other three things was surprisingly easy. Professor Weasley had already sent word ahead to each of the shops on their list, so everything they needed was ready for them. They were in and out of each shop, but while in J. Pippins’ Percival took note the place sold potion ingredients in addition to potions and recipes. He had a feeling that would come in handy for him. Idris’ building excitement with each shop was visible and Percival had to admit he was feeling the same way, even if he didn’t show it as much. Finally Percival tucked their dittany seeds into their bags and Idris grabbed his hand and dragged him to the Ollivander’s they’d passed multiple times. 

The store was small, specifically narrow, but that was because every inch of the walls were lined with shelves, stuffed full with long narrow boxes that seemed to hold wands. As soon as they stepped over the threshold Percival felt that very familiar tugging he’d felt at Gringotts. Except…no that wasn’t it. The Ancient Magic had felt like a hook behind his ribs dragging him forward. This was different. Rather than dragging, it was like a warm hand on his shoulder guiding him to where he needed to go. He tried to follow the feeling, letting it nudge him until he was staring at a purple wand box in a locked case behind the counter. He was snapped out of it though when he heard the ringing of a bell and turned to see Idris standing at the counter rocking on their feet.

“I’ll be right with- ah!” A short man with oddly pointy gray hair popped out from around the corner holding an armful of wand boxes. “It’s you! Um, just a moment please.”

There was a concerning amount of crash from the back of the shop before the man, presumably Mr. Ollivander, came back to the counter. 

“We’re looking for-” Percival tried to say. 

“For new wands, yes,” Ollivander cut him off. “It’s about time.”

“Excuse me?” Percival said.

“Well you’re our new fifth-year students, are you not?” Ollivander raised an eyebrow at them. “Oh what am I saying, of course you are. You first, Gryffindor, come come!”

Ollivander came across the counter and used his wand to try levitating a box down for Idris to try. But before he could pull the box all the way from the shelf Idris stepped forward. As soon as they did, a box shot out of the bottom shelf behind Ollivander. It hit the ground hard enough that it bursted open, the wand falling out and landing at Idris’ feet. It was a warm color wood, though Percival couldn’t place it at a glance. He didn’t make a habit of staring at and identifying woods. It curled around itself halfway through the wand then came to a stop at a handle of what looked almost like white marble, the bottom and top trimmed with gold, with a curling teal carving under the gold. There wasn’t anything particularly special about it but Ollivander still made a curious hum as he looked between Idris and the wand.

“Let’s try that one then, shall we?” Ollivander clapped his hands excitedly. Idris glanced at Percival but leaned down and picked up the wand. As soon as they did they gasped. Percival’s anxiety spiked into pure panic at the sound but he didn’t need to act at all. Idris grinned as they lifted the wand. A blue light started from the wand and covered their whole body. He’d never seen Idris smile so brightly in his life.

“Curious, curious indeed,” Ollivander hummed. “That right there is a yew wand, a fairly rare wood, especially when paired with its thestral hair core.”

“Yew wood?” Percival remembered that one from when he was, yes, studying the wand woods. It fascinated him how different woods called to different wizards and were better for different purposes, okay? Yew wood was particularly selective, never choosing a mediocre or timid wizard, or mage in this case. More notably was that a yew wand supposedly gave the mage power over life and death. Paired with the thestral core…Percival looked at Idris just slightly more warily than before.

“Yes, quite powerful, quite the reputation,” Ollivander waved his wand and the empty box flew to the back of the shop. “Now, my fellow ravenclaw, let’s find you the perfect match, shall we?”

Ollivander started scanning the shelves, muttering to himself the whole way about woods and cores, but Percival’s eyes kept being drawn back to that purple box. 

“You might do,” Ollivander muttered and pulled out a green box. “Here, give this one a try.”

It was pretty, a reddish wood with a gold spiral around the outside, but when he swished it as instructed it only sparked for a second before leaping from his hand into the air to shoot off fireworks in every direction. 

“Perhaps you need something rare, like your sibling,” Ollivander said. He grabbed another green box from a lower shelf, once again presenting the box to Idris. 

Somehow Percival knew this wand also wouldn’t be the one. When Idris had picked up their wand the reaction was immediate, but when Percival picked up the wand he’d felt nothing. Except that guiding hand at his shoulder again, still trying to push him toward that purple box in the back. He half-heartedly swished the wand and it literally teleported out of his hand and back into the box. 

“Not that one then,” Ollivander declared, much too cheerfully in Percival’s opinion. “This is proving to be trickier than I had anticipated. How perplexing.”

Ollivander returned to the shelves once more but by now the calling had increased exponentially until he could focus on nothing else. 

“Mr. Ollivander?” Percival prompted.

“Yes?”

“What about that one?” 

Ollivander looked up at him and he gestured to the wand in the back. Ollivander froze where he stood, still half hunched over, and just looking back and forth between Percival and the wand. Percy couldn’t tell if his expression was one of fear or awe. It may have been both.

“You can feel it?” Ollivander asked.

“Uh, I feel something,” Percival attempted to clarify. “And whatever it is, it’s pulling me toward that wand.”

“Perplexing, perplexing indeed,” Ollivander whispered. 

He hesitated, staring at Percival for a very uncomfortable amount of time, then went over and unlocked the case. He held the book reverently as he presented it to Percival.

It was a dark wood, almost black. It was a tight spiral that took up the entire top half of the wand. The bottom was a dark blue decorated in golden patterns of stars, and ending with what looked oddly like an astrolabe. The feeling was all encompassing now, wrapping around him entirely. His hand as he took the wand. He felt it. It was like a static shock, only throughout his whole body. It was like it was in his veins. It was acceptance, finality, comfort. It was right. The guiding feeling was gone, because he no longer needed it. He had his wand. He swished it and…

Nothing happened.

Literally nothing. There wasn’t even a bad reaction, just completely nothing. He may as well have been holding a regular stick.

“I don’t understand,” Percival muttered. 

“It’s alright, sometimes these things happen,” Ollivander sighed, as if he was also disappointed. “Let’s find you the right wand then.”

Percival put the wand back in the box and Ollivander turned away to take the box back to the case. But when he tried to close the box on the wand something started happening. Percival could hear the box shaking. Then something shot at him at breakneck speed. He wasn’t sure how he knew what to do but he did. He held out his hand and the thing flew into his grip perfectly. The wand. A grin broke across his face like the sunrise on the horizon. Finally, something that felt right.

“Well I’ll be…” Ollivander muttered. “I was beginning to think no one would match with that wand.”

“What is it?” Percival wondered, still studying the wand. 

“Phoenix feather core,” Ollivander said. “And Elder wood.”

Percival’s head whipped up to stare at the wand maker. No wonder it was locked up. Elder wands were powerful, but extremely picky. Other wands could be used secondhand or borrowed but an Elder wand would work for no one but its master. It was the rarest wand wood in the world. Partly because it was so hard to match with a mage, but also because of its horrible reputation. The pickiness of an elder wand meant if its master stopped performing to the wand’s standards it would betray them, sometimes with deadly consequences.

“No pressure?” Idris tried but it came out as a question.

They paid for their wands and left, both silent for once as they tried to reconcile with what just happened in the wand shop. 

“Why do I feel like that’s going to come back to bite us?” Idris sighed.

“Because at this point everything does,” Percival groaned. “We both got death wands, how could that not come back to bite us?”

“Maybe we’re going to finally kill each other,” Idris snickered, shocking a laugh out of Percival. “Oh come on I know you’ve thought about it.”

“Only once or twice,” Percival replied. “A week. My whole life.”

“Aw, you’re the best brother ever.”

“I better be, keeping you alive is not an easy job.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I am very responsible.”

“Yeah you’re responsible in the same universe where I’m a Gryffindor.”

“I think you’d make a great Gryffindor.”

“If I didn’t kill the whole house. Or jump out the tower.”

“....yeah okay you got me there.”

Percival held out his arm and Idris put their hand in the crook of Percival’s elbow, just like their Mom had drilled into them both when they were kids. Their mom had had a lot to learn when it came to manners in English society so she’d made sure Idris and Percival knew everything they could ever possibly need, and that included walking together in public. Ironically, it was Idris escorting Percival when they first learned, until they got older and revealed who they really were and their poor mother had to scramble to re-teach them things. 

They made it to the town square with slightly cheerier spirits, or at least lighter ones, and saw Natty and Sebastian already waiting for them.

“We officially have all our supplies,” Idris declared. “Did you both get everything you needed?”

“We did,” Sebastian replied.

“We should walk around a bit more,” Natty said. “We have plenty of time before we should head back to the castle. Perhaps the Three Broomsticks? I think you would enjoy butterbeer.”

“Three Broomsticks it is” Percival agreed.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

All four of them exchanged glances with each other as the thunderous sounds got closer. The ground shook beneath them hard enough Percy had to shift his weight to not be knocked over. Even the buildings were shaking. Most chilling was the shriek of fear in the distance. 

The cacophony crescendoed and around a building came a hulking beast that looked as though a chunk of a mountain had come to life. It was hideous, there was no other word to describe it. It roared and brandished the club in its hand. It wore armor, armor glowing the same red as Ranrok back at Gringotts and the collar of the dragon.

“Idris,” Percival whispered.

“I know,” They replied, hand clutching their wand.

Percival quickly pulled his out too as the residents of Hogsmeade sent spells flying. The creature stormed at a witch standing on the sidelines and Idris casted Stupefy at the troll to grab its attention which was simply great because now they had a very angry troll after them.

Before the troll could charge them another spell came from behind it, the caster being a woman in some sort of law enforcement uniform. Aurors, Percival thought they were called. 

“Lead it away from the buildings!” The auror cried to the witches next to her. “Away from the village!”

The witches ran off away from the four of them, pelting the troll with spells to keep it angry and following them. They got the troll away from the square and for a second things were quiet. Then another roar and an explosion rang out behind them. They turned around just in time to witness the trolls smashing through a building. 

“What do we do?!” Percival cried.

“We can’t let it destroy the village!” Natty exclaimed. 

She threw the first spell out, immediately angering the troll and drawing its attention. What was it with Gryffindors and pissing off monsters? The troll roared and lifted its club, shaking the village once more.

“Incoming!” Sebastian yelled. “Scatter!”

They all dove in different directions in the nick of time, avoiding the club that smashed down right where they were all standing only moments ago. Percival ripped off his robes and tossed it aside so the thing wouldn’t get in his way. Idris came up from their roll already on their feet and casting spells with deadly accuracy. Every single one hit its mark but the troll only got more pissed. If anything it seemed to target Idris. The other three tried to get its attention with spells, yelling, insults—mainly from Sebastian—but nothing worked. 

“Are we even weakening it?!” Percival said.

“We just have to wear it down!” Natty declared

Every near miss from the troll’s club and feet made Percival’s heart rate spike. Then, his worst nightmare. In their fervent dance with the troll Idris must have lost track of where they were. They ended up trapped in a corner against a stone wall just too high for them to jump. The troll roared and raised its club and this time Idris had nowhere to run.

“IDRIS!” Percival screamed as the troll swung.

“PROTEGO!” Idris yelled. It was nothing more than a desperate cry. All of them knew there was no way a simple shield charm would withstand such a powerful attack. But not only did the charm hold, it sent the troll flying backwards with an explosion of energy. The energy swirled around Idris as they flung out their wand and yanked forward, sending a giant boulder from the rubble of the building right at the troll with enough force the stone shattered.

“How…how did you do that?!” Percival demanded, but Idris looked just as confused as he was.

“Who cares, just do it again!” Sebastian laughed with glee.

Percival dove to the side to avoid a particularly haphazard swing and ended up next to Idris.

“I think I used…the thing,” Idris told him quietly, glancing at Sebastian and Natty to make sure they were occupied with the troll. They suddenly looked much more tired than before, panting heavily and holding the shoulder of their wand hand. “There was this tug on my hand and I felt something snap into place then I just threw it. I bet you can do it too if you try.”

Percival closed his eyes and searched for that hooking feeling in his chest. It immediately found his attention like it had been waiting for him. He forced the hook to his wand instead of his ribs. Something tugged his arm up and just like Idris said it was like the rope went taught. Percival pulled his wand over his shoulder like he was throwing it at the troll and a large crate soared over his head and hit the troll in the chest, knocking it over.

“Hell yeah!” Idris cheered. 

Apparently the troll did not appreciate their tricks as it picked up a boulder of its own. Idris threw up another shield charm, this time around them both. As soon as the boulder hit it Idris repeated the actions with the very bould the troll threw.

“How long is this thing going to keep standing?” Idris groaned.

“We can’t do this forever,” Sebastian agreed. 

He switched his wand to his other hand so he could shake out his wand hand. A bruise was forming across his cheek and his arm seemed sore if not also injured. Poor Natty was breathing hard and limping just slightly. Idris was hurt too, and Percival’s dragon bite injury was not appreciating this fight.

But there was something else around the pain. The connection was still there. This time it was like it was between his chest and his hand. Something in his chest and something in his wand had connected and were screaming for his attention.

“Okay,” Percival muttered and rolled his neck. “Let’s try this.”

He stepped forward and pulled his wand back, letting the energy in his center flow down and out. It wanted to explode out of him but instead gathered in his hands. He pulled his hand to his wand, forcing the magic in the wand and in his body to combine. Then when he threw his wand forward the magic exploded, swarming the troll and literally turning it to ashes.

“Woah…” Idris whispered into the now empty street.

“That was brilliant!” Natty cheered as she ran over to Percival. “Are you alright?”

“Yes I’m, I’m fine,” Percival assured her. He suddenly felt sapped of his energy and despite the breakfast a house elf had brought him that morning before he left his dorm, he felt like he hadn’t eaten in days. Idris looked like they had an interrogation’s worth of questions before they could ask them the witches from earlier returned, the woman in the officer’s uniform approaching them immediately.

“Goodness! A second troll?” The officer gasped. “Did you four take on a fully grown troll by yourselves?”

“I suppose we did,” Sebastian shrugged. 

“It wasn’t too bad,” Idris assured her. “Just some bumps and bruises. We just…outnumbered it I guess.”

“Merlin’s beard,” The officer shook her head. “Well, I appreciate the help, though help may be a bit of an understatement. Nerve like that? The makings of some future aurors if you ask me. Officer Ruth Singer.”

She held out her hand and each of them shook it, repeating the favor by introducing themselves.

“You’re sure nothing strange happened?” Singer checked and Percival nodded. He noticed Idris inching closer to him but couldn’t possibly fathom why. “Very well. Why don’t you kids get yourselves somewhere with less rubble, and preferably try to avoid fighting any more trolls in the future.”

They all murmured their promises and wandered off. As the adrenaline faded Percival could feel his energy level lowering with the sun on the horizon. The Ancient Magic feeling had disappeared, leaving just with a very angry dragon bite that may have reopened and a really sore wand arm. He really hoped the thing hadn’t reopened, or at least that it hadn’t gotten on his corset. Idris hadn’t gotten the chance to make him a second one yet so he wouldn’t have it until they could.

Percival rolled his shoulder as he walked and hissed in pain as the motion tugged at the bite. He tried to get a glance at the wound but it was too far on the back of his shoulder.

“Dris I didn’t reopen it did I?” Percival asked. Idris moved to walk behind him and looked over his shoulder.

“Can’t tell for sure but I don’t think so,” Idris told him.

“Well that’s one stroke of good luck,” Percival supposed. “Where should we-”

“In here!” Someone called from inside a large purple building with mannequins in the window. The sign said ‘Gladrags Wizardwear’. “I have something for you!”

“We are so going,” Idris decided and quickly disappeared into the shop.

“I suppose we should see what he wants,” Natty chuckled. 

They stepped inside and found a cozy little shop with multiple mannequins and displays, each sporting some sort of wizarding fashion, which Percival was still getting used to. There was a counter a few meters away and another a few steps down on their right, which looked to mainly be for tailoring and custom orders considering the various sewing equipment around it. There wasn’t anyone there but there was a man with pointed hair in a smart red suit at the cash register who Idris was already chatting with excitedly. 

“Ah, there you are!” The man said as they came in. “Allow me to introduce myself: Augustus Hill, clothier extraordinaire.”

“He knows all sorts of things I didn’t know!” Idris was grinning again as they bounced. “There’s so much more you can do with magic, stuff I didn’t even think of!”

“Your sibling is quite talented,” Mr. Hill told them. Idris’ sketchbook was resting open on the counter as Mr. Hill flipped through it. “Their sketches are fascinating.”

“Thank you sir,” Idris was now biting his lip, in a way that indicated they were trying not to screech.

“I should also like to thank you four for your remarkable bravery in fighting those trolls,” Mr. Hill said. 

“We were happy to help,” Idris replied. Percival slightly disagreed but he let it slide. 

“Frankly, every one of you deserves an Order of Merlin!” Hill declared. Percival made a mental note to ask someone what that was.”But I can offer you something much more useful.”

He futzed behind the counter for a moment before pulling out four sets of Hogwarts robes, one Ravenclaw, two Gryffindor, and one Slytherin.

“As the owner of Gladrags Wizardwear, I am proud to tell you about part of the inventory,” Hill said. “These unique items afford certain protections as it were. Life-saving protections.”

“You can weave spells into fabric,” Idris gasped. “I need to learn how to do that yesterday.”

“I’d like to offer each of you a set of robes in thanks for what you did today,” Hill offered. “In case this turns out to not be your last dangerous encounter.”

“Thank you for the generous gifts Mr. Hill but we could not possibly-” Natty tried to say but Idris cut her off.

“We’ll take them, thank you so much!” Idris grabbed the robes off the counter and passed them out to their matching students.

Percival sighed and rolled his eyes but knew there was no changing his sibling’s mind so he shrugged the robes on, knowing his old ones were lost somewhere by now. The other three with still intact robes folded them and gave them to Mr. Hill in exchange who happily took them and waved as they left.

“Well, I’d say we earned ourselves a butterbeer or two,” Sebastian said. 

“And food,” Percival groaned. 

“We can find both at the three broomsticks,” Natty assured him. “This way.”

Natty and Sebastian lead the way, under an archway and down more of Hogsmeade’s cobbled streets. Percival was rolling his shoulder again only for Sebastian to curse and yank Percival behind a building by his good arm.

“Ow!” Percival protested but got immediately shushed by Sebastian and even Natty who was on the other side of an alleyway crouching with Idris.

“Why are we whispering?” Idris asked, lowering their voice to match their friends’.

“Rookwood,” Natty explained. “That is him down the alley.”

Sebastian shifted so Percival could peek around the corner. He had to cover his own mouth with his hand to keep from gasping. Rookwood must have been the man in the long coat and top hat. But he wasn’t the only one down that alley.

“You said you could get to the children when they came to Hogsmeade,” Ranrok grumbled. “That all you needed was a distraction. I gave you a distraction!”

“I just watched a student take down your ‘distraction’,” Rookwood argued. Ranrok’s face shifted and Rookwood caught it, though Percival wasn’t sure what he saw. “Who are these children? What are you not telling me?”

“All you need to know is that if you cannot get to the twins, then you have no value to me,” Ranrok growled. Idris and Percival exchanged glances of alarm. When they turned back Ranrok was glancing up the stairs right at them.

“Go!” Percival whispered. 

They all dashed down the street, not slowing down until they were over a block away.

“Did they see us?” Sebastian panted.

“I don’t think so,” Percival shook his head.

“Why is Ranrok working with Rookwood?!” Idris hissed.

“Ranrok?” Natty realized. “The goblin from the Daily Prophet?”

Sebastian grabbed Idris by the arm as he spotted something over their shoulder. Percival glanced up the stairs and saw Rookwood emerging from the alley.

“Quickly, let’s get inside the Three Broomsticks,” Sebastian suggested.

They all ducked inside the pub, trying to not look like they were running from something. They didn’t exactly succeed seeing as they were all panting and kept glancing over their shoulders. Waiting for Rookwood to appear. Thankfully he didn’t. Natty guided them over to the bar of the cozy and warm pub where a woman in an apron was talking to a goblin.

“It’s a treat to see you, Lodgok,” The woman said. “I shall let you know if I hear anything.”

“Thank you, Sirona,” The goblin replied.

“You be well.”

The four Hogwarts students each claimed a stool at the bar, Natty on the far left, Percival next to her, then Idris, then Sebastian. Sirona brushed off her hands and came over to them.

“Now, what can I- oh,” Sirona cut herself off. “There are two faces I haven’t seen before.”

“It’s our first time,” Idris chuckled while Percival was still watching the door.

“Welcome!” Sirona greeted them and took out her wand, giving it a twirl. “Butterbeer on me.”

“Thank you,” Sebastian replied as four mugs of butterbeer floated in front of them. Percival tried it and was honestly pleasantly surprised. It reminded him of a warm apple cider but more sweet, like caramel. 

“Heard about the attack,” Sirona sighed. “I shall be looking in on the other shopkeepers and residents shortly. Glad to see you four seem alright.”

“Thanks to these two,” Sebastian tilted his head towards the twins.

“I don’t know about that,” Percival shook his head.

“Sebastian is right,” Natty disagreed. “You single handedly took down a troll! Or I suppose double handedly.”

“Is that right? Well done,” Sirona said. I will say, trolls? In hogsmeade? That’s never happened before. Something’s not right. The only brutes we usually have to deal with.”

The door flew open behind them and Percival cursed as Rookwood sauntered in, flanked by a rather stocky man who looked even meaner than Rookwood. Presumably Theophilus Harlow, the other man Professor Weasley had mentioned. Percival reached for Idris and found his twin already doing the same. For now they tried to simply seem inconspicuous. Sebastian reached for his wand but Idris grabbed his hand before he could pull it out. 

“How timely,” Sirona hummed. 

Sirona rounded the bar to stand firmly between the two men and the four students. She wasn’t aggressive but she certainly seemed determined not to give an inch to Rookwood.

“Was that Lodgok I saw leaving just now?” Rookwood sneered. Your clientele’s not what it used to be, Sirona.”

“Not to worry Victor,” Sirona chuckled. “Once the two of you leave, the calibre of my clientele will greatly improve.”

Harlow grabbed for his wand but Sirona just sighed.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Theophilus” Sirona warned.

“Come now, no need for theatrics,” Rookwood drawled. “I’m only here for these two anyway.”

Rookwood pointed right at them and Percival’s grip on Idris’ hand tightened. Natty got to her feet between the twins and Rookwood and the three of them quickly followed. No one grabbed for their wands yet but it was obvious they were prepared to.

“My friend is enjoying a well-earned Butterbeer,” Sirona informed him.

“Only want a quick word,” Rookwood waved her off. 

He stepped forward and tried to grab Percival but Natty jumped in front of him, whipping her wand out. At the same time, every patron in the three Broomsticks followed her lead, standing and pulling out their wands, each pointed at Rookwood and Harlow. Harlow pulled out his wand too but Rookwood hesitated.

“Perhaps you didn’t hear me,” Sirona chirped. “I said my friend is busy.”

“ONe would think you’d all had enough bloodshed for one day,” Rookwood grumbled. “Come Theophilus. The Three Broomsticks isn’t what it used to be. Let’s take our Galleons elsewhere.”

With one last glare at the twins, he and Harlow begrudgingly left the Three Broomsticks. Sirona followed them a few steps but came back over to the students once she was sure the men were gone. 

“Seems you made an unfortunate enemy,” Sirone warned them. “Watch your back. Rookwood and Harlow are worse than any troll you might encounter.”

“Trolls, Ranrok, and Rookwood?” Sebastian shook his head. “What are you not telling us?”

“We’ll tell you everything I promise,” Idris replied as they glanced around, on the same thought train as Percy. 

“But not here,” Percival finished.

Sebastian looked like he wanted to argue but Natty spoke up before he could.

“I understand,” Natty replied. “Perhaps we should head back to the castle. I’m certain Professor Weasley would have heard about the troll attack by now. She will want to check on you.”

The twins followed their friends to the nearest floo flames and quickly ended up in Hogwarts Central Hall. Sure enough, Professor Weasley was waiting by the fountain despite the empty hall.

“Ah! There you are,” Weasley sighed in relief. “I’m grateful you’re alright. I heard of the troll attack, were any of you hurt?”

“We’re going to be sore in the morning,” Sebastian answered. “But we’re alright I think.”

“Thank you for waiting up for us, Professor,” Percival said. 

“You are my students, therefore it is my responsibility to keep you safe,” Weasley replied. “But it seems you’ve kept each other safe instead. Well done. Ten points for each of you.”

“So unfair,” Sebastian mumbled as Idris and Natty high fived.

“Now get to bed, all of you, it’s late,” Professor Weasley shooed them off.

They responded with a chorus of ‘Yes Professor’ and Sebastian split off for the Slytherin dorms. But when they got to the stairs of Ravenclaw tower Idris grabbed Percy’s hand to stop him.

“Natty you go ahead,” Idris said. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Is everything alright?” Natty checked. Percy was so glad Idris had befriended her. 

“Yeah, I just want to talk to Percy,” Idris promised. Natty hesitated but eventually nodded and left down the corridor. Once she was around the corner Idris pulled Percival into a nearby alcove. “How did you do that?”

“How did I do what?” Percival tilted his head. There were a lot of new things he’d done that day.

“How did you disintegrate a troll?!”

“I don’t know! I threw the crate like you told me how to do, then the feeling just stayed so I channeled it into my wand. It did the disintegration thing on its own.”

“What feeling?”

“You know, the Ancient Magic feeling. In your ribs? The pulling?”

“I don’t get a feeling.”

“What?”

“I can’t feel Ancient Magic. I just felt a connection to something like with accio but stronger. What do you mean you can feel it in your chest.”

“Whenever there’s ancient magic I can feel it, like a hook in my ribs pulling me to it. You can’t feel it?”

Idris leaned against the wall and ran a hand through their hair.

“No, I can’t,” Idris muttered. “So I probably can’t do that, that thing. I can’t use the Ancient Magic.”

“Yet, maybe it’s like charms and it’ll just take you a minute,” Percival tried to assure them.

“Yeah, because I can always do the things you can,” Idris rolled their eyes. Percival halted.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Percival asked slowly but Idris just shook their head. 

“Nothing,” Idris said. “Good night Percival.”

And on that happy note Idris rushed down the corridor before Percival could stop them, leaving them with nothing to do other than head to his dorm and try to sleep.

[again-please]

Ooh I'll bite on the 500 word DVD commentary! My all time fav scene in the Mercurial world series:

 

Neve lets her mind’s eye fill with a particular image: Astarion in the daylight, bowing cheekily and brushing himself off from their tussle moments after they’d first met, slick and debonair even fresh from the wreckage of the Mindflayer ship. Then, hardly knowing how she even knows she can do this, she pushes it at him.

 

"What are you—" he murmurs, and then abruptly cuts himself off with a gasp.

 

It must be working, as his eyes have gone wide as saucers, fixed not on her face but somewhere just beyond. Focusing, she conjures another memory: Astarion’s pale features cast in jewel-blue, looking down at her in the moonlight, the merry glow of the tiefling party in the distance behind him as he takes her chin in his hand. I’ll take good care of you, he promises, with one of those dangerous, glinting smiles that tilts up on one side, looking for all the world like he’s going to kiss her again.

 

"I—You—" Astarion chokes, sounding almost pained. All at once the effort to keep it going is too much, and Neve relinquishes the connection between their tadpoles, pressing one hand to her forehead and gripping the side of the tub with the other, suddenly a little weak.

 

"Did it work?" she asks, blinking rapidly, trying to regain herself. "Did you see?"

 

"Yes," Astarion gasps, surging forward and seizing her upper arms desperately—which is quite welcome, as she suddenly feels that she could use the support. His eyes are wild as they search her face, his mouth looking as though it’s trying to form words until he finally manages some.

 

"Insane, brilliant little witch," Astarion snarls, almost like he’s angry about it—furious, even. But then he kisses her. Hard.

 

Neve almost yelps, finding herself being abruptly pulled into his naked lap, water splashing over the sides of the tub at his erratic movement. He releases her upper arms to help arrange her legs around his hips, still ravaging her mouth, and she tries to steady herself on his chest, her head now swimming for two reasons. She smooths her hands over his wet skin, and to her surprise, he hums into her mouth and slows the pace of his kiss, as if the touch soothed something in him. His hand trails up her back and threads into her hair as it cups the back of her head, his usually cool skin warmed by the water. Goosebumps erupt in the wake of his touch, so intense that she shivers.

 

Astarion finally pulls away at that, but he doesn’t go far. He rests his forehead against hers, eyes still shut tightly, as though he’s afraid to look at her in the aftermath of that reaction.

 

"Liked yourself that much?" she jokes nervously.

 

"Do you have the slightest idea?" he murmurs, voice ragged, not playing along. "The slightest notion of what you’ve given me? Two hundred years—two hundred—and I finally have my face back. It’s not just…just some dark shape in my past

Ty for biting! (...a common sentiment on this blog I fear)

This is a moment I can actually trace my exact inspiration for because I can remember the friggin DAY I got the "tell me I'm beautiful" mirror scene in early access and I was simply screaming at the computer screen because WE HAVE A PSYCHIC CONNECTION GOD DAMN IT LET ME SHOW HIM HIS FACE. Especially because many of the tadpole-connection meet-cute narrations explicitly say you're seeing out of the other character's eyes! And if memory serves this was the first? one of the first? Astarion cutscenes to drop in EA where he seemed legitimately vulnerable for a moment, which was a very important nugget for us Astarionmancers because around this time I think there was talk about how he was just an asshole no matter what and that there was obviously ONLY a Bad Evil Ending in store for him.

I think this is Neve at some of her best "you guys are making this way too complicated" problem-solving. She is definitely a Scholar and a Wizard, but I think the real beauty of her character and her situation is that she doesn't come from any kind of remotely respectable academic background, as we'll start to explore more, and so she comes at problems a lot more humbly and practically than might be thought to be common for wizards. She is the Good-Will-Hunting-working-class-local-library wizard to Gale's Harvard-Educated wizard (except in this scenario she's the one still on the hook for an exorbitant amount of money...RIP her credit score).

A fundamental Astarion/Neve dynamic is definitely his "mask" of suaveness that he never wants to drop (unstoppable force) vs Neve being almost legitimately incapable of not being herself (immovable object). In this scene, immovable object DEFINITELY wins.

The "jewel-blue moonlight" image of Astarion she recalls scene is from chapter 2 of A Little Further, and I come back to this moment a lot because, in spite of where Astarion is at that point in time (aka, still foolishly thinking he's just having a bit of fun for his own benefit), that's a moment Neve feels swept off her feet for the first time in a way she was really afraid that she would die without experiencing. And a part of her knows he's being Way Too Smooth there, but she also thinks that's something he'd like to see—the time it was all working for him, the time he was so perfect that even a self-conscious skeptic like her couldn't say no to him

This scene also becomes extremely important when we examine what she shares with him later from Astarion's POV—she didn't just send images through the tadpole connection, but the feelings she was feeling in those moments. And while he doesn't literally hear the words "I love you," in her mind or anything, I think it kind of ruins him forever to feel that sheer BLAST of genuine attraction and care and affection direct from the source. Sometimes I'm like, did he fall in love too fast? But honestly, it's kind of no surprise he's done for after this point. Psychic connections are cheat codes.

I just checked—this is also the first time I have Astarion call her "witch/little witch." I think this would kind of irk Neve if he ever said it in front of anyone else (because she is a WIZARD god damn it) but he gets away with it because this is...a name that absolutely does NOT get said aloud outside the bedroom.

DVD commentary ask game if you want to bite as well!

[acornered]

2024 WISHLIST

I know Resolutions are a controversial concept but I still want to spend some time reflecting on what my goals this year were, if I accomplished them to my satisfaction, and what I'd like the next year of my life to look like. So here we go:

Purchase second-hand and locally owned as much as possible How Well I Did: Very well! I've become friends with a lot of local vintage store owners, artists, and tradespeople, and I've been able to reduce the amount of frivolous consumption I engage in significantly. Repeat in 2024: Absolutely!!!

Continue to work on my relationship with my body How Well I Did: Uh. Ooof. Um. My body changed a lot this year and it's been really hard for me to make peace with that. Regular healthy meals and consistent exercise are both difficult habits for me because of the mental illnesses, and falling off of that particular wagon, combined with finally coming to terms with my ED, has made for a rocky road to body positivity. Repeat in 2024: I need to redouble my efforts here, and actually commit to forming healthy habits around food, and making time to do a little physical activity each day. And every time I look in the mirror, I will try to challenge the negative thoughts until I can hopefully accept the inherent worth and beauty of my flesh.

Continue to work on my mental health How Well I Did: Average, I think. There were bouts of depression, and periods of inconsistency with my medication, but I am getting better every day and I have built myself a really stellar support system to pick up the slack when I need it! Repeat in 2024: Always, every year, forever. I can't imagine going back.

Nurture and honor my relationships with others, and my own wellbeing in those relationships How Well I Did: Pretty well, with only 2 notable exceptions. To the people who have helped me grow, who have loved me enough to tell me when I am wrong, who have been patient with me when I've had to assert a boundary with them-- thank you. I may not always choose well, but when I do I end up with the most beautiful, loving relationships I could ask for. Repeat in 2024: There are two specific things that I need to face down next year (one pleasant but terrifying, and one awful but necessary), and I only hope that I can do so with strength and grace and that the pain will be worth the healing it brings.

Have positive romantic and sexual experiences How Well I Did: I had moderate success with this one. While I made a real effort to put myself out there, there were moments of true despair, especially after a couple of opportunities broke down from poor communication/bad timing. However, I did manage to figure out some important boundaries, and enforce them to varying degrees of success. I'm entering 2024 still single, which is not ideal, but with a much better sense of what I'm looking for and how to ask for it. Repeat in 2024: I'm still not great at making the first move, but I am mentally projecting shoot your shot vibes to every cute girl I know, and maybe this year I'll even get an opportunity to be courageous.

Read at least 1 book every month How Well I Did: I managed around 8/12, and didn't keep track of when I read what. But I am consuming books again which is in turn helping me rediscover my love of reading and writing. I think with more of a concentrated push, I can make this happen for real! Repeat in 2024: Yep, with better documentation this time!

Conclusion: 2023 was a mixed bag, and it really ended on a low note with multiple waves of interpersonal conflict, a bad bout of depression, and an unexpected death of someone I've known since childhood. I want to start the New Year with a clean slate, but it's difficult with so many things unresolved, and a funeral service to attend in the very first week of 2024. I am determined to start slow, and find that balance between necessary rest and gratuitous wallowing. I am grateful every day that my desire to move forward, to shape the life I want for myself, overpowers my desire to lay down and never move again. At least most of the time. I promise to continue to find beauty in quiet, unlikely places, to give the kind of love I wish to receive, and make my corner of the world the kind of soft place I'd be happy to inhabit. If you've read this far, I love you and I hope you stick around. Happy New Year (almost).

[mlobsters]

supernatural s11e1 out of the darkness, into the fire (w. jeremy carver)

i'm feeling very dispirited about my ability to watch the entire series, gotta say. i'd been kind of looking forward to s11 because i have some vague notions of a few of the episodes. ah well. tally-ho

dean sucked up by the darkness straight away, great (scrolling through my internal rolodex of ladies i very vaguely know of from fic. amara??). turns out our nice boy is just taking a nap with the flowers

sam's hair situation looks improved, looks like they let it grow out so it's uneven in the back and flipping up in parts again instead of a shaped smooth bob situation

they're getting a little more creative with the effects with rolling in the flashbacks, which is neat. though using the same effect (differently but similar enough) for dean and sam's recollection, less neat

cas has progressed to rabid wet kitten i see

JENNA Rebar. I sought cover. I fell.

😬

all right so. just the moral calculation of culpability in all the rando human deaths at scale due to ye olde brothers. letting lucifer out i think is zero sum, they were pushed by heaven and hell to make it happen. sam saved a lot of people by jumping into the cage to lock lucifer (and michael and poor adam) back up, that's gotta add a good number in the black. (cas has got some big negatives with the whole god-stint and releasing the leviathans i wager. oh and the whole angels falling business). choosing for sam to live instead of closing the gates of hell forever, well that is less definable but seems like a big fat red number on dean's tally, but probably less than would have died with lucifer and michael duking it out? so if we consider them one (ofc) they're still in the black. this business with the darkness though, is a lot more definable and in your face if we're seeing this hospital full of dead people on their first jaunt out post evil!twister. curious what kind of guilt they're gonna lay at sam's feet. he gets squirrely when it's people in the way of having dean. anyway. i think y'all might be the bad guys 😔

moving on, finally.

oh funny, the deputy was the original fen in the magicians which i've definitely mentioned before while watching this. aha, she was in 7x22 with rick worthy (dean fogg on the magicians, spn alpha vampire). those light eyes and dark hair are very striking and memorable

did they scrimp on the makeup budget or something?? looks like he's sewing up a vulva and not even bothering to lift her shirt. UNSANITARY, BRO. hope she's up to date on her tetanus too. and gets some antibiotics to boot

that's some weirdly lit cleavage. also, dean already lied to sam about what went down with her? SIGH. so. tired.

this lighting got him extra haggard looking. why didn't he just kill the zombie whatever, especially after hearing the baby crying? wtf is going on.

the little yawn 🥺

MARN’S HUSBAND You just sit your tush down, okay? Just let me get this out. I've been thinking a lot about what you said -- and -- and I know, I lost my chickens when you put it out there. But it's not every day that your wife tells you that she wants to watch you get a party started with your best friends. I mean, am I right?

this whole interlude is... something. aaand straight to maternal death. sigh. and dad's gonna die too. great

giving 2x9 croatoan slash 2004 dawn of the dead vibes

DEAN And how long is that? And when they infect others, how long is that? No, we stay here, that baby dies. We did this, Sam. Okay? We broke it, we bought it.

indeed. why don't you tell sam about the dark cleavage lady then

CASTIEL Sam, Dean... goodbye. It may be some time before we see one another again. DEAN Wait, Cas. Cas!

LOL okay. couldn't squeeze in any details i guess

MINION 1 It's just, you barely escaped assassination. You're arguably on the run from the most powerful witch on earth -- not to mention an angel of heaven and uh... CROWLEY And? MINION 1 You didn't call for help until after the orgy?

come now, minion 1, do you truly expect otherwise

sam's talking big picture logistics and dean's just like wtf is the other option right at this moment

DEAN We have a plan, okay? It's the same plan as it's always been. In order to get out, we go through. SAM And? How's that been working for us? DEAN We can't save Cas if we're stuck in some hospital, okay? Just like I can't strap on a time machine, go back, and tell Cain to shove that Mark up his ass or stop you from releasing the darkness. Now, have we made mistakes? Yes. Hell, yes. And we can analyze each and every one of them over a couple of frosties when we're old and farting sawdust and out of this room! Right now, all I can do is I can gear up, I can head out, and I can save that freaking baby, which is exactly what I'm gonna do.

when they get old. together. right.

SAM Dean, if we don't change -- right now -- all of our crap is just gonna keep repeating itself. DEAN Okay, I-I don't even -- what?

i'm with you on this one, dean. what

SAM There is always a cure. You just have to want to find it. DEAN Yeah, how are you gonna find it if you're dead? And around and around we go. SAM Saving people means all of the people, Dean. Not just that baby. Not just each other. I unleashed a force on this world that could destroy it... to save you. DEAN And I told you not to. SAM And I'd do it again. In a second, I would do it again. And that is what I'm talking about. This isn't on you. It is on us. We have to change.

(i hate that my thought process legit is, take yourselves off the board, go to heaven, do not pass go)

so i guess sam's guilt caused a come to jesus moment about killing the people (rabids??? zombies) who we've seen already have an inherently short shelf life even without intervention. guess that's why he refused to shoot one despite the crying baby. this doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. i can see sam having this thinking, but not in this situation and moment.

poor woman stuck watching their messy drama play out. i hope they're packing her a big ass duffel of formula and diapers. did you know when you give birth in a hospital, you can take all that stuff you don't use in your room with you? stock up, folks

SAM Get Jenna to the car. Get her and the baby somewhere safe. DEAN Without a shot. And what are we gonna do about those things on our tail? SAM They won't be on your tail. DEAN No way. SAM You said it, Dean. We broke this. DEAN Yeah, we broke this, okay? We did. SAM I heard it in your voice when you agreed to take that child. I get it. You do what you do. But you've got to let me do what I do, too.

be bait?

quelle surprise sam locked himself in with a zombie. oh and got zombie juice in his mouth. STELLAR PLAN, SAM

MIKE Her name.. is Amara.

okily dokily. so we think the baby's named amara but it's actually dark cleavage lady? do i get a gold star?

and lucifer slash michael is all riled up in the cage, even greater

DARKNESS For the same reason that you'll never hurt me. (She pulls aside her dress to show the Mark of Cain on her collarbone) We're bound, Dean. We'll always be bound. You helped me. I helped you. No matter where I am, who I am... we will always help each other.

great great. it's like a neverending fucking romcom where an ever growing percentage of sam and dean's problems are caused by lack of communication. but we don't even get the catharsis of a good kiss at the end. i am so tired of it

i need to lower my expectations again so i can stop being so disappointed

[credinaa]

local time: 30 october 2022. noon. location: city center. leoran market.

While enjoying the festivities of the Food & Wine Festival, you begin to notice a distinctive change in your vision. Colors begin to gently shift and blur until you perceive the world in painted brushstrokes. You have been dosed with a large amount of the Collective drug Dorian.

TW for: mention of addiction, detailed description of a panic attack

“...and with this new practical knowledge we completed the training missions of this month. Sergeant Taylor Martin and I are going to announce the top three of this class tomorrow.” 

the evening had been full of insignificant conversations, overbearing colleagues and drunk students. if it hadn’t been for that one leoran dish she could eat (the usual fish) and the wine she had been offered from a fellow venpalan, the evening surely would have been unendurable. sasha was currently talking to the parents of one of her students (they were way too proud of their son, who was very obviously freaking bad at piloting and surely wouldn’t graduate), which had tried to bribe her with food and wine to give them more information about their son’s progress (none). at some point she had decided to describe the minimalistic progress he made through complicated technical terms, just to be able to finally leave the conversation. luckily, taylor came in sight, and through words along the lines of “hey, there he is - he knows way more about your son since he’s in his group - no, you surely won’t bother him” and with an affected smile towards her colleague on her lips, she sent them off to talk to him instead.

the feeling of relief didn’t last long - something in the atmosphere changed, though she couldn’t quite decipher what exactly it was. maybe her lack of sleep finally got to her and caused the strange tingling of her eyes and the pressure behind her forehead. the day surely had been exhausting and after drinking all this burgundy colored wine out of these nicely shaped glasses.. since everything looked so pretty and perfect, sasha couldn’t quite tell what was causing her to be this alarmed. 

when her head tipped forward a little, she needed to cling to a pillar to keep standing up straight and suddenly she noticed the patterns of the tiles, the colors and details of some of the guests shoes. and when her vision turned blurry just for her to see everything painted with brushstrokes as it turned clear again, a weird pressure on her chest made it harder for her to breathe.

Dorian.

suddenly she felt like a little lamb again, wandering from foster family to foster family without ever getting adopted, facing the various faces of drugs and addiction whenever she had to spend a night on the streets. ever since then she had sworn and promised herself that she would never take a step further than drinking alcohol, would never touch anything related to harder drugs - and now that promise was taken from her. no form of betrayal she ever felt before compared to what she was feeling now, especially since she had no idea who would do something like that. 

the next few minutes she tried to keep herself together with closed eyes, but every time she opened them again she had to face the hard truth - colors, brushstrokes, art. her chest started to feel even tighter and when she pressed her hands onto her skin and it didn’t help, her grasp on the cold stone got tighter. sasha thought that her clothes felt way too tight, too, the material was itchy and she started to get hot. fresh air, she thought, pushing herself through all the people who seemed to be occupied with themselves, past tables and counters just to reach a door leading outside, finally - just to be greeted by at least three of her students, staring at her in disbelief (she had to be quite a sight, panicking, teary eyed and without her jacket). 

“oh, fuck off.”, she said, pushing towards them as well and leaving the festival behind.

how much she hated this fucking planet.

[sammyblogsforlife]

Eternal Manifesto

 A manifesto? You're asking what my manifesto is? Well, that is simple: THE ETERNITY MANIFESTO. My past posts always involved something about eternity, whether the ever-intending doom of it or the ever-lasting beauty of it. So today, I will be covering my manifesto, its theme through my posts, and why eternity is something beautiful yet terrifying. You see, the theme I find in common with my posts was in some way, shape, or form about eternity, especially the first half mentioning the worst parts of what eternity brings within my first post, referring to the harsh times in life facing is lost. And what brings that closer to home is what little matters in the presence of eternity, that in all your efforts and losses that was only in a spec of time in the grand scheme theme of things.

Furthermore, this is mainly due to how everything erodes in time, no matter the circumstances. Further on, My second and third posts refer to this notion. The second post refers to an abstract image and how it reminds me of nostalgic and dystopian waste. To further add to this so it can fit this manifesto, this abstract painting could later be a result of eternity, an adverse effect of what eternity could bring, an unrecognizable yet nostalgic place that refuses to evolve yet devolve due to the future's impatience. A positive example of this is in my third post. A sculpture in Fort Myers that I took a picture of is an example of what genuinely leaving an impression behind is like. Leaving behind an impression is what's important when facing eternity.

The fact that these statues remain a badge of Fort Myers is an accomplishment in itself. Going back to the negative aspects of Forever, I explained in my fourth post what type of interiors I would like in my house, and it would be my comfort zone. Comfort zones are considered the enemy of the infinite, noting how you can never stay in one spot forever; eventually, one way or another, life will force you or perhaps push you to the next step, whether you are prepared or not. Time will always be ready to move regardless of what it leaves behind. My next post explains the poem "I Mean." This fits as this is seen as an effect of eternity in people, constantly changing perspective as time passes, evolving as words and phrases change. But when is that change? In my fifth post, I told the story of a simple teenager in a cycle of handling high school on a day-to-day basis. Eternity, too, can be a perspective or, at the very least, a feeling of it. Although the story is just an introduction, it does imply how timeless everything seems to be doing similar things for years at a time, giving a feeling that you will probably be doing this forever until you lose something that is dear to you, something that reminds you that your way of eternity isn't eternity itself. In my sixth and seventh posts, I refer to how nothing can last forever and how you must deal with that reality. Eternity can be a cruel maiden, always taking and barely giving anything back, always looking forward and never stopping to appreciate or even acknowledge anything in its wake. My final aspect of this manifesto would be after eternity into eternity.

An excellent example of this would be in my final post relating to Leonardo's painting "The Last Supper." My poem interprets how he's prepared for that eternity so that he could try his best to share it with the rest of us. It's ironic, isn't it, how he was planned to be temporary in the eyes of many but blooms to be eternity instead. And that's the main aspect of this manifesto. With these examples, you get the point of the hauntingly poetical concept of eternity. Thank you for following me on this roadmap-like path of this journey we took, and have a good year!

[princepestilence]

NYR: September in review

Post-September horoscope: it can be tempting to live your life like a prequel. to live as if you’re setting up your own story.and once you lose the weight, once you have the money, once you graduate school, once you’re in a real relationship, once, once, once. then finally, you’ll begin to live, and everything you do up until that point is some kind of half-life, some unimportant foreword you can skip. don’t do this. inhabit your life completely. sink fully into the wealth of your existence. the power to manifest is in the fearless owning of who you are, so that you can shape where you’re going.

Long horoscope quote this month, but I've been thinking about history a lot lately. A lot about the past, and the future, and thinking about how very soon I'm going to be in a new stage altogether come next year, with a finished PhD and a fresh new decade of my thirties ahead.

In September:

chapter three revised draft. Completed! One more chapter left to revise, and then the introduction and conclusion. Then it's done. The whole thesis revised and ready for the final round of edits and tweaks.

Duolingo every day. I admit my heart isn't it in at the moment but I trudge onward nevertheless.

Blood test. I've been putting it off for months because I've been busy and tired, but finally went and got it done. Now my doctor wants to have a talk (ugh). It never ends. But I do actually want to take better care of myself so I Have To.

Best friend's baby shower. It was so lovely! The baby is due at the end of October so basically could come any day now, especially since mum was premature and might be a family thing. I'm very excited to meet him. And also for her to not be pregnant anymore, she's hated it.

Zine fair. Got some cool zines and had a nice time catching up with friends. I'm thinking it might be fun to make some myself and set up a table next time.

Interview with Aunty for org. history + info. It's been on my list since the beginning of the year to sit down with her for this audio-recording and we finally made it happen. Very happy for that (and relieved) and I'm looking forward to working with her more in the future to improve the organisation.

Clair got an ADHD diagnosis + meds. Success!! I am putting this in my recap for the month because actual years of work went into getting to this point and, humbly, I have been INTEGRAL in all of it on account of her having super-bad-at-navigating-the-many-many-complex-steps-of-getting-a-diagnosis disorder and I am a sexy type A hyper-admin kind of guy. You can now applaud.

In October, I will:

revise chapter four. And ideally finish introduction and conclusion, and send the entire dissertation to my supervisor for another pass.

plan my birthday party! We're now about six weeks out until the event so it's time to actually plan the logistics. Important things like what themed cocktails to make, and what fancy little cakes to order, and the playlist.

run the AGM. And also be officially voted in as chair, rather than acting chair. A bit nervous about it since it's back-to-back COM meeting then AGM, and the AGM is going to be attended by a local politician because there's an award going to above Aunty for being great, and I'm the one who needs to give the speech about her. I know it'll all be fine, but I remain nervous. Don't tell anyone.

going to the museum. Tomorrow! Great way to start the month.

[erodasfishtacos]

would you ever be up to doing a mlbrry helps pregnant yn shave like the ceorry one? i’d like to see how he’d react to that!!

“H, will you come shower with me?” YN asks softly, running her hands over her heavy, baby-filled belly that is starting to get big enough to hurt her back.

“Like y’even ever have to ask,” He replies with a laugh, the three boys were already asleep and he had been lounging on the living room couch.

When they get in there, YN is quieter than she usually is, face tucked into her husband’s neck as the water pounds down on her back.

“Y’belly hurt, mama?” Harry asks, moving down to lift her belly and hold the weight - making her mewl in relief.

“I have a question…” She mumbles, lips dancing against his skin as he feels his baby move a bit in their home.

He just teases his teeth against her lobe, humming to encourage her to keep speaking as he explores her body - even though he knows it like the back of his hand.

“Will you shave me?” YN asks finally, it shouldn’t be embarrassing- especially with Harry. It was more vulnerability that she could shave herself - she’d been able to with the last pregnancy but this bump was by far the biggest.

“No,” Harry replies but it has a whiny edge to it as he glares at her in almost…betrayal?

“You won’t shave me?” YN is a bit confused because Harry was normally willing to do anything for his wife - especially things like this.

“I like tha’ bush, don’t get rid of it, darling,” Harry pouts like a little boy, one of his hands moving past her stomach to slip to pet at the curls on her folds.

YN puffs out a breathy laugh, “Really, H?”

His bottom lip is jutted out as he thumbs over the coarse hair, “Why do y’wanna do that?”

“It’s starting to get itchy and just uncomfortable,” She tells him, leaning forward to kiss that puffy lip as he considers his options.

“Can we make a deal?” Harry proposes, tugging a bit at the hair to make her groan in a mixture of pleasure and pain.

“You want to make a deal about my pubes?” She laments, unamused at his tactics as he gets distracted by where his fingers are.

“Mmm, I’ll shave you if first let m’eat you and rub m’cock on you before it’s gone,” He coerces boyishly as his thick fingers dip inbetween her lips.

Easy compromise.

“As long as you let me sit,” YN agrees, allowing Harry to guide her over to the shower bench and he’s wasting no time getting on his knees in front of her.

“I don’t get it,” YN laughs as he groans at the sight in front of him, like it’s the first time he’s seen her in this way.

“Get wha’?” He replies perplexed.

“How y’are obsessed with everything about me, even my hair,” She laughs, it’s pleased and she feels a happy warmth inside.

He jolts up to kiss her hard on the lips, “Everything about y’gets me going, sweet thing. S’a miracle I’m not hard every second of the day around you.”

Her husband had to duck underneath the bump but his teeth find the short hairs and nips at them to give her that bit of pain she always loves.

But he can only tease her (himself) so long before he’s nestling his tongue inbetween her damp folds and lapping hungrily at her clit - basking in the prickly hair that’s rubbing against his lips.

“Ooo-Harry, yes baby,” YN moans, she goes to weave her hands in his hair but can’t reach so instead she has to test them on her belly.

He doesn’t stop until she’s quaking and coming down from her high, it really shouldn’t be that sexy that he has a bit of friction burn on his upper lip.

Then Harry’s mandhandling her until he’s balanced over her, her legs spread as much as she can at this point, and with her arousal as his lubricant he starts rutting himself against her mound.

“S’so fuckin’ hot, gonna make you grow it out again,” Harry growls, buttoning their lips together as his sensitive tip pushes through the downy prickles of hair.

When he’s close, he pulls back, jerking himself until he spills onto her folds and he just makes a mess out of her.

“Fuckin’ hell, mama,” He pants, curiously rubbing it into the skin and wiry curls, “Y’so god damn hot.”

YN, who’s now sex-hazy and tired, complains at him to clean her off (after he darts out of the shower to grab his phone and snap a picture).

He does, kneeling again and lathering her up in a shave cream, snatching the razor of the shelf, “S’like a funeral, I’m mournin’.”

“I promise after the baby is born that I will grow it out especially for you,” She laughs, hiding and palming her belly when there a light kick.

“Is m’baby awake?” He wonder, palming at her tight skin and feels a flutter, “There’s m’bubby.”

“Hurry up, I’m getting pruny!”

“Can I shave a shape into it? Like a baseball or summat?” Harry asks hopefully but huffs in defeat when she glares at him.

After she’s bare, skin smooth and free of prickly hair, Harry presses a few damp kisses to her mound and then up her belly to her mouth.

“Wipe that pout off your face,” YN giggles, pinching at his bottom lip, “You legitimately have had me hairy, prickly, shaved, waxed..”

“And the bush had grown on me!” Harry defends, “But y’pussy is pretty however y’given it to me, mama.”

“Thanks, baby daddy,” She replies with a pat to his cheek and doesn’t miss the soft smile he gives her before helping her stand up.

“Mmm, yeah. I am y’baby daddy,” He agrees with a happy rumble, hands coming to rub the sides of her extended stomach, “C’mon, gotta get m’wife and baby t’bed.”

—

😋😋😋😋😋😋😋

[helpimhyperfixating]

Captive Together - Mer!Jotaro x Mer!Reader P1

Okay, fair warning, this oneshot is LONG. Like, really really long. I divided it into 4 parts but still every chapter is a monster. I edited it best I could, but when it takes a whole day to do so, you can get tired and unattentive, lol. This whole thing got out of hand and it is weird, but I like it. With that out of the way, enjoy some Mer!Joot 😌

Part 1  |  Part 2  |  Part 3  |  Part 4

Word Count: 8531

Opening your eyes, you winced a little at the stinging jab of pain that shot through your abdomen. With sluggish movements, you drifted forward until you could feel your hand hit glass. 

Right. You were in that human facility...

How did you end up in this mess again?

- - - -

“Quick! Go! Go!!” Your voice was urgent and a little panicked, scaring the two pups in front of you to do as you asked. They didn’t know who you were, where you came from, and if you were even able to be truly trusted, but the looming shadow closing in on your location and the terrifying rumble and roar of - what they thought was - a shark was enough to spur them into doing whatever you said.

You had just been swimming by, travelling from place to place looking for a place to live, maybe even a pod who’d accept you. And that was when you spotted the two pups, all by themselves and playing with the sand on the ocean floor, no adults in sight.

Seeing how big and mischievous their grins were, you quickly realised they had most likely snuck away from their pod; bringing back some memories from when you had done that yourself. 

With a good-natured sigh, you started to swim over, deciding to take them back to their pod before something would happen.

“Hey, you two.” You clicked out as you approached them calmly, a warm smile on your face. Upon the sound of a voice, the two - they couldn’t have been older than 1,5 years - shot their heads up, eyes comically widening. “What’re you playing?” You asked as you bridged the remaining gap, letting yourself float down to sit on the seabed close to them about two meters away; giving them a little bit of space yet also sitting close enough, to show them you meant no harm.

“We’ve never seen this kind of sand before.” The pup with a pretty, dark blue tail and impressive hairdo spoke up a little meekly and your smile widened just a little bit more at the sweet answer, making both kids relax a bit.

“So you decided to come out here and play in it?”

“Mhm!” The other pup, with a darker grey tail and two markings running crossed down his face, hummed happily, his voice sounding gruff as if he had spent a week in the Red Sea, even at his young age.

“Soo, you didn’t sneakily sneak away from your pod and parents to go exploring the big blue and happened to stumble across this seabed with sand you hadn’t seen before, right?” You questioned cheekily, leaning your chin in your hand as you raised a teasing eyebrow.

Both their eyes widened a bit and you chuckled while the pup with the hairdo curled in a bit on himself. “Are we in trouble?” 

“Not with me, no.” You smiled, making him come out of his shell a bit again. “With your parents however? I can’t say.” Now they were both making themselves small, guilty looks on their faces. “C’mon, I’m sure it will be fine.” You reassured them as you pushed yourself off the seabed, swimming over to the two pups until you were in right by them and placing a hand on either of their backs. “It’s best to get you back to your pod now though.”

“O-Okay.”

You hummed a little and pushed them gently to start swimming, one on either side of you. You looked between them both, seeing the anxious looks on their faces and decided to try and distract them a bit as you chaperoned them back. You happened to have noticed a pod took up residence in this area and these two smelled like they came from it, so you knew where to go. You also knew that pod was quite a ways away so you had to find a way to fill the time anyways.

“So, what are your names?”

“I-I’m Josuke, that’s Okuyasu.”

You hummed a little, giving them both another smile. “So, how long ago did you sneak out?”

“Uh, the sun was about there.” Josuke pointed up to where the sun had stood in the sky when they left, filtering through the surface of the water at an angle that told you they snuck out about an hour ago.

“Hm, well, maybe no one in your pod has noticed your absence yet and I can help you two sneak back in!” You started in a secretive voice, making both pups perk up. Okuyasu drifted a little closer to you and grabbed your hand, Josuke seeing and doing the same on your other side, nodding happily at you.

To be honest, you highly doubted no one had noticed their absence, but swimming with two anxious pups was something you would rather avoid. Not only because you feared your lack of experience would make you unable to handle it, but also because anxious pups meant slow pups, and matching their pace when they were anxiously swimming in dread for what was to come was about the most nail biting experience one could have.

“So, why did you swim out so far th-“ whatever you were going to ask was interrupted when your ears picked up on the distant sounds of a motorboat. 

Your eyes widening in alarm, the two pups noticed the warning signals you automatically gave off and soon picked up on the noise as well, seeing as the boat was speeding closer very fast. 

Now, humans were aware of the existence of Mer, but this was supposed to be a protected area. So if there were humans here, especially those with the loud motors? That could only mean bad news.

“Quick! Go! Go!!” You wrenched your hands from their grips before starting to push on their backs, trying to urge them to go.

Okuyasu let a feared whine escape from his throat while Josuke immediately employed the tactic he had been taught to use whenever in danger: call out.

“Shark! Shark!” He trilled out in a panic, the trills and clicks of his voice carrying a lot further through the water than at his normal pitch and volume, soon joined by Okuyasu in the same fashion as he remembered what he was supposed to do.

While you were glad they had their security systems in order, you knew how clever humans were, especially those who went against the rules set in place, and you feared that they might hear the two pups.

“Ssh, ssh, I’ll keep you safe from the shark! Let’s hide between those rocks, come on!!” You managed to grab both their little hands again and frantically dragged them along with you as you swam full speed towards the rocks that sat about forty meters away, both Josuke and Okuyasu too shocked by the sudden speed they were being pulled along with to keep shouting warnings in panic.

It was dangerous to get to the rocks. The boat was almost right above you by now and to get to safety, you had to swim with the pups underneath the belly of the thing. The water was crystal clear today and the chances of being seen were high.

Safety for the pups was your one and only priority though and so you gunned it.

With an incredible speed, you shot through the water, making full use of your tail as you dragged the poor kids with you, them trying their best to flap their tails and help swim - although it was mainly for decoration and show by now.

Forty meters,

Thirty five,

Thirty,

You were now swimming directly underneath the boat and you tilted your head, keeping a wary eye on the thing as you saw it suddenly stop and rock, presumably from movement from the humans on top.

Twenty five,

A shape on the boat, barely able to be made out through the distortion of the water, tipped you off to the incoming danger and you immediately pulled Josuke and Okuyasu in, pushing them forward with all your might right before a sharp and searing pain shot past your left side.

From the boat, someone had thrown a harpoon down, the speed and angle serving to graze your side, creating a nasty cut on your waist that ran from there, diagonally over part of your stomach before the thing embedded itself in the sea floor.

A sharp and searing pain came in waves but you refrained from calling out, only hissing through your teeth with a small grunt before you shook your head, ignoring it for now as you saw a rope was attached to the end of the sharp stick. It was slowly wrenched free from the sand and you wasted no time in shooting past it, scooping Okuyasu and Josuke up in your arms as you rushed past them, seeing as they were clinging onto each other in shock as they saw you being hit.

“You’re bleeding!” 

“It’s okay!” You chirped back over the rush of water coming past as you tried to swim as fast as possible with the pain, leaving a trail of blood behind as you went.

Fifteen,

Ten,

Five,

“Okay, hide behind those rocks and stay there no matter what happens okay? Don’t come out until someone from your pod comes and gets you, do you understand?!” You shook them both a little, maybe not being the best course of action but you had to make your point clear.

“O-Okay!”

“Don’t make a sound either!” You called back over your shoulder as you started swimming away, secretly looking to see if they were well hidden and stayed put as you asked them to. You saw the both of them look at you with fear and anxiousness, peeking from behind the rocks, and sent them the last best reassuring smile you could muster before turning to look forward again and booking it. You were gonna save those pups if it cost you your damn life.

- - - -

Your fuzzy memory finally began to clear up a bit and you remembered how another boat came and chased the hunter’s one away. You had led the hunter’s boat away from the pups but got trapped in a cove, only for the new boat with science humans to come to your aid.

Upon seeing your injury, they got very concerned and offered to take you with them so they could treat you and help you.

Despite their honeyed words and friendly appearance though, there was one blaring warning signal. These humans that were claiming to trying to ‘help you’, smelled exactly like the ones from the boat that had injured you. Which meant these people had interacted; and not just in passing or a small falling out, no they spent a while with each other to have the scent rub off that heavily. 

In other words, these were no friends to you.

Despite knowing this, you had agreed to their offer. Those pups were still nearby, what could you have done? Maybe if they took you along they’d be satisfied, and never realise there were more Mer nearby. And so you allowed them to take you.

-

“Good news! Today the bandages come off and we are planning to transport you to a bigger tank while you further recover!” One of the humans you had come to see a little more often in your past two days in this tiny tank approached, that easily recognisable false smile on his face. Whenever he approached like that, there was something else behind it. Yet, you pretended to not notice, perking up in happiness and sloshing around in your tank like an excited puppy despite the pain that brought.

“For me?” You asked. Your human English was a little rusty and sounded somewhat garbled, which was no surprise given how you had to use completely different parts of your vocal cords to speak it, but at least it was understandable.

“Yes!” He grinned before stepping even closer. “And! Inside there is a surprise! Around the same time as we found you, we found another Mer, stuck in a fishing net. They’re in the tank you will be transferred to today!” He sounded genuinely happy this time and you realised with a bit of horror he probably saw it all as a big experiment. Most likely wanting to see how two of the same species reacted upon meeting. “It’s that one over there!” He pointed behind himself to a large tank on the opposite end of the large room.

You had noticed this tank almost immediately when you first got to this facility. After all, why were you stuffed into a tiny tank that was more fitted to fit an octopus rather than the large tank that was available right there? But if it housed another Mer then that was logical. Probably a bigger Mer than you as well.

You had seen the scientists hover around it but you never saw any creature inside when you looked at it.

Would it be a male or female waiting for you in there? Given the man’s excitement however, you had a hunch. All you could say was you hoped they hadn’t been injured by the humans to bring in like you were.

- - - -

You spent the rest of the day just trying everything in your power to annoy the ever living fuck out of the scientists around.

You were in a small glass tank, barely big enough to let you stretch your tail out fully and with an open top, allowing you to communicate.

Sloshing around and making water spill over the tank was one of your favourite things to do, your goal to make the papers in the hands of the scientists wet or to make them slip and slam a few teeth out on the floor. If they glare at you, you just acted like it was completely involuntary, having pain in your injury, or the need to move being the cause of you sloshing and splashing so much.

Your next method of annoying scientists was: throwing the small ball they had given you directly to their heads. It was a small yellow thing, apparently filled with air so that it would float on the water. And just the perfect size to lob at someone’s head.

Of course, if they turned around angry, ball in hand, you’d act as if it was all a game. All a game your dumb and simple mind could come up with. And so the scientists just let it happen, picking up the ball and begrudgingly returning it to you every time so you wouldn’t start sadly whining like some puppy.

And that was exactly what your goal was; to convince them you were no smarter than a seal.

Of course, you had the ability of speech, but you intentionally kept your vocabulary in the low. Talking a bit like a pup, with missing or incorrectly pronounced words while the rest of your behaviour mirrored it.

You smiled a lot, indulging the scientists in questions about Mer life that you answered ‘as best you could’ while in reality you were stringing lie after lie after lie. You pretended to be their friend, just like they did to you. What comes around, gets around, after all.

Sometimes though, when you were talking to the humans, you felt as if there were eyes on you. And not the scientist eyes or the camera eyes, but angrier ones.

-

As the morning bled into noon, you noticed how warily the scientists were being around the big tank. It was open at the top same as yours and reached until about the human’s midriff, but the rest of the tank disappeared into the floor for it was probably a lot deeper than it seemed to you if there was another Mer in there that you’d never even seen before.

But, noticing how hesitant the humans were to stick their head over the glass and look down, you figured you’d test them a little. 

No one was really paying attention to- or around you, so you picked up your little yellow ball - the only entertainment you had - and tested its weight a few times before chucking it so hard and so far that it soared over everyone’s heads and plopped right in the bigger tank.

As it landed, you cheered as if it had been your childish goal all along before expectantly looking at the humans. They were, after all, expected to bring it back to you.

Much to your internal delight, you watched how the humans looked back at you in horror and disbelief. It all but confirmed your suspicions that whoever was in there, was very much not happy. And different from you, they decided to go the aggressive route.

When none of the scientists made a move to retrieve your ball for you, you started to make a little whining noise in the back of your throat, making puppy eyes and starting to look all sad.

If the Mer in there indeed went the aggressive route, that meant that your plan was still in full swing. For, if they only exuded aggression, the scientists wouldn’t necessarily see many signs of higher intelligence. They would most likely chock it up to animal instinct instead of genuine anger. Which meant you could continue playing as dumb as you liked without them getting suspicious.

“It’s okay! I’ll, uh... go get it for you!” One of the scientists spoke up towards you and you perked up a little, gripping the edge of your tank and pushing up a bit to mock excitement.

Curiously, you watched as he went to grab a long net on a stick. Was it not within arms reach? 

You watched as he walked back over to the tank and warily started inching the pole towards the ball. The entire thing shook with nervousness and you watched in awe as suddenly, out of nowhere, a large Mer shot up, slashing through the invading item and breaking it clean in half before disappearing below the floor again in a flash.

The scientist screamed in fear as the pole got cut clean through, the net falling down into the water before sinking, while one of the other humans went to comfort the scared one.

That was the best thing you had seen in all your time being here.

“What has been said about unauthorised interactment with the large tank?!” A large booming voice suddenly sounded from the door the humans constantly walked in and out of and you, together with all the scientists, turned your heads towards it.

“S-She threw her ball in there, I was just trying to get it back like protocol says!”

“She can go get it herself. We’re transferring her right now.”

All eyes turned to you with that and you shrunk a little, lowering yourself into the water until only your eyes shyly peeked out. Somehow you had a bad feeling about this.

- - - - 

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad! BAD!

You were dangling in mid air on a crane or contraption, some sort of harness put around you and painfully rubbing against your wound. Mers healed faster than humans but your wound was still very much present and open and painful. Did they completely forget you had that or something?? They were even supposed to take off the bandaging today and they didn’t! Although right now it was your only protection from excruciating pain.

Your tail barely had any support and was basically dangling in mid-air, held up only by the fact and grace of being attached to you and your attempt of using your abdominal muscles to keep it steady. Unfortunately for you, that was where your wound was as well, so WAHEY!

You were cursing up a storm as the crane moved you across the room, hovering over the floor as if you were flying. To the scientists, it just sounded like a bunch of panicked clicks and trills, but for you, you were using language so colourful, it would make anyone blush.

Water dripped from you like stalactites in a wet cave and the only satisfaction you had in this moment was that it would make the floor a little slippery for the scientists, hopefully with at least one falling on their face. After what seemed like an excruciatingly long time but was only a few minutes, you were dangling over the larger tank. 

Your knuckles were white as you gripped onto the harness holding you up. You looked down and noticed how big it actually was. As you tried to gauge the depth from above the water however, the support holding you up clicked loose and you fell down into the tank, harness and all.

Thankfully, you managed to angle yourself to dive in at least a little gracefully instead of just belly flop in - which would be very bad from that height and with your injury.

As you fell into the water you had your arms protectively shielded over your head and your eyes screwed shut, but now you hesitantly blinked them open, bringing your arms down as you sunk down a tiny bit more before stopping.

Looking to your right, you were surprised to see several scientists looking through the glass. Apparently there was a room a floor lower which gave them perfect view of the big tank and the happenings inside it. They all had clipboards and notes and whatever, ready to record and write down everything that was about to happen.

That was the last thought you could really give it, for you suddenly saw something large and fast move from the bottom of the tank, all the way up to you.

Curling in on yourself on instinct, you looked up only to be met by one of the biggest and most intimidating Mer you had ever seen. His torso was in proportion to you but his tail was absolutely massive, almost twice the size of yours. It was strong and powerful looking, sleek black and probably about four or four and a half meters in length while his torso himself was impressive as well, muscle and raw power screaming from every inch of him.

How in the fuck were those scientists ever able to capture him?

His face was set in a glare and you instantly averted your eyes, displaying submissiveness as you turned your head and bowed it a little.

Now, you had wanted to display submissive behaviour from the beginning, just to keep your act up, no matter what kind of Mer was in here, but when you opened your mouth to try and talk and he growled in warning, you immediately slammed it shut. This shark Mer made it very easy. 

After a few more seconds of him glowering at you, you opted for safety and abruptly turned around, swimming down as fast as you could to the bottom of this 20-meter deep tank and shooting into the massive skull that sat there. You had to struggle to fit through the eye, the harness still on you hooking against it and hindering you even more, but with some squeezing and manoeuvring, you managed to get inside.

Looking out of one of the eyes, you saw he hadn’t really moved but was still glaring at you before letting out a ‘Tch’ and casually turning to the side, languidly swimming away and down to the corner opposite of the one you were in. 

There was a thick, white, concrete column in the middle of the tank, impeding your vision of him as he disappeared behind it.

Letting out the breath you were holding, you closed your eyes for a second before inhaling the water around you. It felt much cleaner and more crisp than the stuffy tank you had been forced to sit in, though the scent of the other Mer was very present as well. 

Looking down at yourself, you hissed a little and cursed out the humans as you grabbed hold of the harness and lifted it as far away from the wound on your side and stomach as possible. 

The skull you were in provided cover yes, but it was also half buried in sand and you barely had any room to move or even breathe, let alone try to get that damn harness off. Going out while the shark Mer was around and wary of you seemed like a bad idea however so you just stayed put, opting to wait until night before getting out and trying to get the damn thing off.

So, in the time you were waiting, you decided to try and figure out what the fuck kind of skull you were in. It was slanted and half buried in sand, elongated jaw with big round eye sockets. It sure as hell wasn’t any animal you knew of. You even started doubting if it was a real animal at all. When you touched it it definitely didn’t feel like bone at least.

Several hours passed like that and you finally peeked your head out the eyehole again. 

The tank itself was not too bad. The bottom was filled with sand and rocks, water plants and seaweed and such sticking out and growing from it, making it look rather natural. 

With some effort, you squeezed yourself out of the eyehole again, hissing as you scraped your wound before settling on the sand right in front of the skull and starting to wriggle and tug at the harness.

Why did the humans do it like this? Weren’t they supposed to take it off? Or were they so afraid of your new tank-mate that they just decided ‘fuck it, you’re on your own’?

Aggravated, you attempted to pull it over your head. Unsuccessful. 

You tried to unclasp it. The clasps are at the back where you can’t reach. Unsuccessful.

You attempted to pull it apart. You are not strong enough. Unsuccessful. 

By now you were running out of options and just violently tugging at the constricting thing. It sat over your gills on your neck, making it hard to breathe - though that didn’t stop you from spitting every curse in the book at the scientists who were undoubtedly still watching, even if the glass where they stood earlier was as dark as the night. 

A flutter of the water suddenly reached your ears and you snapped your head up to see the shark Mer quickly swimming towards you, angry and with a murderous look in his eye. 

Under optimal circumstances you would have hidden somewhere he couldn’t fit, like the skull. Unfortunately for you, you were wearing a harness and also wouldn’t be able to get inside fast enough. 

With not many options left, you darted to the left, quickly swimming away. Taking a glance back, you gasped when you saw he was in hot pursuit. With his larger tail he was quickly gaining but you shot to the side, cutting the corner around the concrete pillar in the middle as much as possible.

Looking to the left briefly, you spotted a corner where the sand was more tailored than everywhere else, a large indent where a body had been resting. 

That was all the time you got to look at it however, since you were already rounding the pillar again to show the skull you had been hiding in. 

Right now, you cursed yourself for darting. There was no way you could outswim him. You should have just rushed into the skull back there or stayed still, hoping he wouldn’t tear you apart. Now, all you could do was try to get back in the skull.

That was a vain hope however, as he had already caught up with you. 

Your blood froze as his right arm curled around your waist, ready to grab. Yet before he did, he hesitated. Instead, he allowed you to slip away a bit further before clamping his arm around your tail, tightly grabbing hold there as he forcefully stopped your momentum and yanked you back, grabbing your shoulders with both hands once in range.

In one smooth motion, he slammed you shoulders first into the concrete pillar before removing one hand and using the claws on it to rip straight through the harness still stuck on you. 

“Stop disturbing the water with your thrashing and sleep!” He growled out, a threatening undertone in his voice while his face was so close to yours.

You were breathing fast and staring back with wide eyes but it seemed he wanted an answer before he backed off so you nodded. 

Seemingly content with that, he rudely shoved you aside before lazily swimming away, flicking his hand to get rid of some excess fabric of the harness, his tail swishing side to side as he disappeared behind the pillar again to the corner he seemed to have taken up residence in, not looking back once.

You blinked a few times, looking at where he disappeared for some seconds before you swam up, swimming out of the harness with as little tail motion as possible.

Your breathing finally levelled and you turned back around, grabbing the remains of the harness and swimming over to the skull, draping the destroyed thing over a lip on the outside before squeezing into the eye. 

- - - -

Waking from your slumber, you got to work digging. 

You had a hunch this skull was going to be your home for the time being, so you decided to make a better way of entering and exiting. Digging through the sand laying in the mouth of the skull, you followed the elongated jaw and dug until you made a nice little opening that you wouldn’t have to squeeze through.

While you were digging, you noticed the other Mer swimming around. He avoided your little hovel but otherwise would not sit still. Making laps, checking the corners, running his hand along the wall of the tank as if testing it. 

Everything pointed to him wanting to get out of here, just as much as you did.

For now, you decided to keep staying out of his way though.

Right as you exited your skull, you were met with the powerful and intimidating form of the merman. There goes your plan. “What’re you doing?” He snapped at you almost, his tone curt and to the point.

You were still half inside but decided to just stay there like that, looking up at him. “I’m making an easier and less painful entrance.” You explained, motioning to the blood stained bandage on your side. It was designed to be worn under water but even so you doubted it was doing much good.

“Well, be more quiet, you’re making too much noise.” He growled before turning around, nearly hitting you with his tail fin as he went.

You were about one second away from giving him a well earned tap on said tail fin, but managed to refrain yourself at the last second.

“Wait.” You called out after him and he surprisingly enough stopped, looking back at you over his shoulder while you got out of the skull fully. “What’s your name?”

“...” 

He didn’t say anything for a second, just looking intently at you for a second, almost as if he was searching for something. Whatever he found he must have been satisfied with though.

“Jotaro.” 

A smile appeared on your face at his answer and that piqued his interest. For, when he had been watching you in the small tank opposite the room, you had smiled so much whenever the scientists interacted with you, and it had annoyed him to the point of making his blood boil. But now? Up close? He could see this was the first genuine smile you had given since arriving in this facility, even if it was timid.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N. Let’s get the fuck outta here soon, okay?”

Before anything else could be said, you heard your name being called from above. You had given it to the humans but that didn’t stop the pit of disgust when you heard it. Your face contorted for just a second before you steeled yourself and twisted it into the sweet innocent look the humans were used to.

Unknown to you, Jotaro warily watched you as you did that, sharp eyes following your form as you went to the skull and grabbed the harness laying on top before swimming up to the surface.

Shyly poking your head out of the water, you darted your eyes back and forth a bit before landing on the man standing right next to the edge of the tank who had called you.

“Good morning.” He smiled and you bobbed your head a bit in greeting. “Where is the harness?” He then asked and you let your hand drift to the surface, the broken harness in hand.

The man tutted a little but then stuck out his hand, taking it from you before moving it to his other hand and using the one in the water to motion you closer, pointing at the bandaging around your waist. “We didn’t have time to take a look at that yesterday. How about now, Hm?”

God how you wanted to bite his hand. Leave that damned harness on all night and then act like nothing happened? Claiming to just want to look at and take care of your wound again? It almost made you regret trying to trick them by acting dumb and nice.

Someone else didn’t have the gripe of trying to keep up the act of being friendly however.

Out of nowhere, Jotaro breached right in front of you, immediately diving back down and pushing you down with him while he violently smashed his tail against the scientists outstretched hand.

Said scientist screamed in pain as several of the bones snapped at the powerful strike, others rushing towards him while Jotaro just left the chaos behind and pushed you further down before abruptly letting go about halfway to the bottom.

“The fuck are you doing.” He snarled and you backed up a bit.

“What do you mean?”

“Interacting with them. What is your plan to get out of here that makes you need to get all friendly with them?” 

As he said that, you tried to steady your breathing. No matter his looks or his seeming temper, his mind was clearly not to be underestimated and already proved to be very sharp. He knew you were putting up an act.

“I’m trying to make them think I am no more intelligent than like, what? A four or three year old human?” You spoke, getting a little lost in thought thinking about human ages and their behaviours during it.

“Why.”

Jotaro’s voice snapped you out of it and you focused again.

“If they expect this level of intelligence from me-“ You kept your hand flat and stationary at the level of your bellybutton. “-they will tailor security measures and such around that level of intelligence. Humans like to cut corners. If they think I don’t know how to open a door, they won’t lock it.” You continued and Jotaro had his eyes narrowed at you. “So, when I suddenly show this level of intelligence-“ You moved your hand up and hovered it at the level of your neck. “-they won’t expect it and I’ll be able to get out of here while they try to figure out what happened.

Despite seemingly getting your explanation, Jotaro seemed truly revolted by the idea of buttering up the scientists.

Without another word, a frustrated rumble tumbled from his chest and he turned to the right, starting to swim away, back to his corner. But not before stopping once more and looking back at you. “Don’t let them touch you.” With that, he continued on his way.

Bringing your arm in, you held it to your chest as you watched him swim away.

- - - - 

About two days passed and during that, your communication with Jotaro had been minimal. You two more or less avoided each other - though there wasn’t any bad blood between you two.

Just now, a big slab of tuna had been lowered and - while you had planned to just wait until Jotaro was done - he seemed to have other plans. He sliced off a chunk, letting it drift down as if he didn’t notice it falling while he himself continued with what he had. Yet subtly, you could see him look at you, releasing one low click sound from deep within his chest. A non-verbal go-ahead that many leaders of a pod used; to show that it was for you.

Sending him a quick smile, you darted over and scooped up the meat from below him right before it could touch the floor. With that, you then turned around and went to the corner opposite of him. For once, Jotaro was not in his usual corner. And you were going to make full use of it by doing what you had been meaning to for the last few days.

Putting the tuna in your mouth and just holding it there, you started plucking the gigantic seaweed that grew from the bottom, slicing it at the soil with your claws until your arms were practically completely full.

Peeking your head around the pillar, you saw Jotaro still eating and thus silently yet quickly swam over to his corner.

The sand was bunched up in a small hill on one end, a deeper and bigger indent right in front of it, showing it was where Jotaro slept every night. There were some plants growing around it, but not many. None close enough that they would be able to bend in the current and annoy him as he tried to sleep at least. That was good.

Now, you knew sleeping on the sand was fine. You had been doing it yourself, even insulated and kept a little more warm because of your protective surrounding skull. And, while the heap of sand behind the dent was meant for the same purpose - to retain some body heat - you knew from experience that plants were way better at that.

So, you started placing the seaweed leaves on the sand indentation. One by one you placed them down, layering them over comfortably until it padded the entire space.

You were happy you picked a lot because you had underestimated how big Jotaro’s bedding would be, seeing he was quite massive as well.

Next came the tricky part. Getting the leaves to stick together and stay on the sand, paired with getting rid of all the prickly edges.

Opting to make sure it stayed in place first, you curled the edges of the leaves around the edge of the sand indent and buried it firmly in the grain, making sure to tuck it in well and good so that it would not let go. With that out of the way, you began chipping away at the sharp edges. 

You worked as fast as you could, wanting to be finished before Jotaro was done eating and would return here. 

Finally done with the snipping, you ran your hand across it, satisfied that there was no uncomfortable plant membrane sticking out anymore.

Onto the last step, you started with the hardest part: weaving the plants together. Cutting small incisions in the leaves with your nails, you started interlocking those cut sections, fitting them together like a puzzle until every leaf on the entire bed was interwoven.

You were almost done when you spotted movement out of the corner of your eye. Turning your head, you saw Jotaro swimming closer, a confused yet wary look on his face. 

In the blink of an eye you were already swimming away, booking it towards your skull and shooting inside with practiced ease. You were pretty sure Jotaro couldn’t fit through the mouth, so you felt relatively safe in case he got mad about you messing with his sleeping spot.

No angry sounds came however. 

- - - -

Several more days passed just like that. You had made a seaweed bed for yourself as well, stuffing it in the skull and spending quite some time digging a little further into the sand so that you would have a true little hovel. Because of this you realised the skull had no lower jaw, which allowed you to dig down into the sand, causing for even more insulation to keep yourself warm at night. Was it necessary? No. Did it feel great to sleep in a warm environment? You bet it did.

Your interaction with Jotaro was still bar to none. Although he did seem more accepting of you, no longer letting out a dangerous or angry rumble when you moved too much or splashed around a bit.

You had gone back to playing with your yellow ball, throwing it at the scientists heads - though they dodged it more easily now that their attention wasn’t divided between two tanks. Still, whenever you did hit one of them, it felt like a huge accomplishment. 

While pretending to play however, you took the opportunity to gather information. Pick up on what the scientists were saying, checking the tank walls while you were pretending to swim around as fast as you could - while in actuality you went only about half as fast. In particular, hopping up on top of the concrete column rewarded you with figuring out there were cameras in the thing. They were small, built in and probably very expensive.

So the scientists were watching your every move even if they weren’t watching.

You honestly felt terrible when you figured that out and had retreated back to your skull, not coming out for 28 hours, not even for food.

About thirteen days had passed since you first came here, and you still had no idea how to get out...

- - - -

To say the scientists of the research facility were in excited chaos and confusion that morning was an understatement. 

After nearly two weeks of no process at all with the Mer they captured - the two of them only avoiding each other as much as possible - they come in for work, only to see the two of them curled up in the male’s nest and sleeping together!?

“What the hell happened?! John! Get the footage of last night!”

“Right!” Said man immediately sprinted away to get it while the rest stayed glued to the glass, watching the two Mer as best as they could with how far away from the glass they had set up camp.

A few minutes later, John returned and they all watched with baited breath to see what happened. 

Operating the four cameras, they switched between them and fast forwarded the footage from last night until there was motion, pressing play.

“What happened that gave them a change of heart?” 

- - - -

Disturbance in the water had roused Jotaro from his sleep. 

There was absolutely nothing in this tank except for a feeble artificial water current that helped with filtering. So, to suddenly feel such jerking motions in the water could only mean that it was the other occupant of the tank.

Jotaro tried to ignore it for a bit and go back to sleep but the irregularity and violence in which you were moving meant there was no chance of that.

A little annoyed, Jotaro got up and started swimming over to the skull you had taken residence in. 

Unlike the last time you had woken him up during the night, you were not in front of it. Furrowing his brows, Jotaro turned up and swam to one of the eye sockets. Gripping the edge of it, he pulled himself closer and peered inside.

It was hard to make anything out in the dark but with the limited night vision he had, Jotaro could see your form, completely curled in on yourself on top of a bed similar to what you had made for him. 

Only, then you twitched.

Your whole body jolted for a bit, a barely audible squeak leaving you before you settled again, only for you to jolt again a few seconds later. Your face was screwed up in pain and discomfort and Jotaro let his gaze drift to your waist, seeing if you could be in pain from that, even if it should have healed for the majority of it.

It wasn’t that though. You didn’t clutch at it in pain or explicitly tried to avoid touching it. You seemed to just be having a nightmare.

For a moment Jotaro considered just leaving. You’d wake up from it eventually and would then just go back to sleep. But that thought was quickly chased away.

Not ever had he seen you so... vulnerable. And as he looked at you, something in him screamed at him to protect you. To protect you, to hold you, to keep you close and safe. Only after a few seconds of feeling his stomach twist did Jotaro realise. Wait, shit- did he just imprint on you?

Just like pups would imprint on parents, so could future mates imprint on each other. It didn’t always happen or all that often actually, but something in Jotaro told him that that was exactly what just happened. Fuck.

Stunned for a few seconds longer, it was another small whimper from you that snapped him out of it. Pushing forward, Jotaro got closer to the eye but he could soon see that he wouldn’t be able to reach you through there with his arm, you were too far to the back and he definitely wouldn’t be able to fit. Hell, he wouldn’t even be able to put both his shoulders through there, let alone his tail.

So, with no other option, Jotaro would have to fully go inside another way.

He didn’t want to invade your personal space, but what other choice did he have? With a bit of hesitation, he swam towards the entrance you had dug and looked down into it. While it was big enough for you to be a comfortable and easy fit, Jotaro would either not fit at all, or have to really squeeze.

He got up for a second and sighed. He could hardly believe he was actually gonna do this. With a little stretch of his back and tail in anticipation, he grabbed hold of the roof of the mouth of the skull. 

Lifting it out of the sand was less heavy than he had thought, most likely because of the light material of the skull, but that didn’t mean it was easy. The sand was suctioning it quite strongly but he only had to lift it a little bit to accommodate himself, not pull it out completely. 

After a few seconds of lifting it up, Jotaro released it, content to see it stayed at the same height he had put it in before he almost immediately ducked down and made his way inside.

Swimming slowly to not scare you awake even more than you probably would be, Jotaro reached where you were tucked in the corner.

“Y/N.” He softly called out your name but it didn’t do shit. With a lack of social skills or experience, and the need to do at least something, Jotaro instead just opted to grab your shoulder. “Wake up.”

In an instant, you came to life. Seeing nothing but a large form hovering over you caused an immediate fight or flight response and you grabbed at the hand on your shoulder, using your other to swipe at your attacker, only for them to grab both your wrists.

“It’s just me, calm down.” The voice of Jotaro spoke and your breath hitched in your throat. Jotaro? What? How?

Any logic was cast out of your mind as your instincts kicked in. Right as Jotaro let go of your wrists, you shot forward and clung to him. The safety that him being larger and stronger provided and the body heat he emitted the only thing playing in your barely awake mind, still half stuck in the nightmare.

Jotaro was taken aback as you wrapped around him, yet, for what felt like the first time in forever, he welcomed the contact. As he raised one arm to attempt to wrap it around you and provide more safety, he instead painfully slammed his elbow against the skull, making you squeak and cling tighter to him before realising it was not a threat and letting up a bit.

As much as Jotaro wanted to, he couldn’t stay here. This skull could barely fit him as is, let alone with another person there. 

Patting your shoulder twice, you looked up at him and Jotaro felt his heart seize at the look you gave him. You also understood what he meant however and let go of him, floating back a bit.

Placing his hand on your head, Jotaro turned with a bit of effort and swam out of the skull.

As his tail disappeared from sight, you cast your eyes down. You were so tired and barely conscious enough to keep your eyes open, yet still, going back to sleep sounded like the last thing you wanted to do.

Suddenly however, you felt your wrist being grabbed and Jotaro yanked you with him out of that skull.

Confusion riddled your sleep heavy mind and you barely had enough thought to move your tail, attempting to help swim but mostly being dragged along by Jotaro.

Before long, you two reached Jotaro’s nest and he sat down on it, pulling you a bit closer since you were practically as far away as you could be, stretched out arms and confused. When you still didn’t seem to get it, Jotaro pulled you down with him until you were pressed against him, your back to his chest as he had his arm around you from behind. His tail started curling around you until it fully encased your form, pushing under your head until you were laying it on top, as if using his tail as a pillow. 

“Sleep.” Jotaro spoke softly from right behind you, almost whispering it into your ear, making your heart skip a beat. Almost immediately after saying that, a faint and low rumble began coming from his chest, almost as if he were purring, and you could instantly feel yourself becoming less anxious.

The soft vibrations on your back together with the protective arm wrapped over you and the strong, thick tail curled around and in front of your entire body made you feel safer than you had in a long time - maybe ever. 

By now, you could barely remember your nightmare, only that it scared you to death. But even then, all those fears were slowly driven away by the comfort of Jotaro’s warmth and the protection he brought.

Part 1  |  Part 2  |  Part 3  |  Part 4

[cantalouupe]

good boy

nsfw!!! sub!xiao x f!reader

edging, breeding, (very) mild possessive behavior, public sex, praise kink, blowjob, handjob, voyeurism (sort of??), kitty is used as a nickname i think, he’s wearing the collar from this fic

Xiao is a good boy.

Always listens and behaves himself, letting you play with him however you wish. Especially after the collar incident, he’s very pliant, allowing you to do more because you both know he loves it.

Speaking of the collar incident, he hasn’t taken it off since. Every time you see him now, that thick leather band is wrapped snuggly around his neck, with the four golden letters attached glinting whenever the light touches it. Purple splotches adorn the space all around the collar from time spent with you sucking on his skin while riding him until he cries.

His neck, you think, looks like a piece of art. You quite like it that way, and continue to darken the marks anytime they seem to fade.

Today is no different than any day. You go up to the top balcony at Wangshu Inn where he resides and expect to see him gazing out at the sky, looking as pretty as ever, and you’ll get to spend the day together.

Except that’s not where he is at all.

Walking out on him slumped back in a chair with that black collar around his neck and a hand pumping furiously at his cock was far from anything you thought you’d come across him doing, but there he is.

He notices you quick, eyes that are as wide as saucers staring up at you from his spot. You give him a small, teasing look and go to sit in the chair beside him.

It’s quiet for a few moments - his body completely rigid while you relax into your seat - until you break the silence.

“Aren’t you going to show me how to do it?” Of course, you already know, but you’d never miss an opportunity to see Xiao take himself apart.

He does, his hand wrapping back around himself to give a few shaky tugs. Seeing the way his hand shook, he must be nervous - he’s never had anyone watch him get off before.

Once he starts feeling it, though - lips parting for small whimpers to fit out, grip around himself tightening while he moves it faster up and down his length - he seems to calm back down.

You watch him quietly, letting him enjoy himself a little, bask in the feeling of his hand jacking himself off.

He’ll look up once in a while, as if wondering whether you’re still there and looking, but immediately whips his head back down to stare at his hard cock when you meet his eyes.

What a good boy. So sweet and shy despite being taken apart by you nearly every time you visit.

Once his hips start canting upwards and his breaths begin to speed up you stop him, gripping his wrist in order to cease his movements. He’s flushed and his chest rises and falls, hand falling down to his side.

You pat his thigh, “good kitty.”

It’s your turn now, both of your eyes glued to your own hand that turns into a fist and gives one single pull.

“A little dry, don’t you think?” You question, and he makes a noise of confusion when your hand releases his cock. “Need to get it wet.”

A look of realization flashes in his lidded eyes as he watches you lean down to spit onto the head of his length. It runs down the sides, all the way down to drip onto his balls. He shivers and whines at the sensation.

You take your job of getting him nice and slick a step further and lean the rest of the way down to take him into your mouth. Slowly, your head slides down, all the way until your lips touch the base.

“Oh god,” he practically sobs, moving lightning fast to grip at the back of your head. “Oh god oh god oh god oh god-“

You hold your head there as long as you can, his dick pushing against the back of your throat. It’s a lot for him, his hips would be kicking into your mouth if you hadn’t taken him all the way in already. A constant stream of moans leave him while you have your mouth around him.

After a quick decision to have a little fun, your head begins to bob up and down, tongue gliding wet along the side of his shaft. The hands that gripped at the back of your head pushed now, and his hips jumped to get himself further inside your warm mouth.

Again, you let him enjoy it for a while, his noises like music to your ears.

He must have been close from his first edge, and began to climb in volume, alerting you that he was getting close once more.

You indulge him, giving him sucks that had him crying out your name. He got really close this time, thighs and abdominals tensing with the oncoming orgasm.

The sensation of wet lips leave him right in that minute and he almost sobs. Your thumb and pointer go to squeeze the base of his cock, successfully cutting off his orgasm right before it came.

He falls back against his chair, eyes closed shut tight while he catches his breath and tries to go away from the edge. You rub comfortingly at the top of his thigh.

“You got really close there, huh?” He gulps in another big breath and nods in response.

A praise leaves you before you even though about it. “You held on so well. Good boy.”

His cock twitches at that and you grin, giving his thigh a pat.

Really, he is such a good boy. All for you, too - you love it.

When his heavy breathing finally devolves into lighter pants is when you choose to continue pleasuring him. With your hand in a circle shape, you hover right above his length.

“Ready?” You didn’t wait for a response, basking in the sound that rips from his throat when your fist slides down onto him.

This must feel much better than when he first jacked his cock, because the slide is smoother and allows you to create a fast rhythm that has his head falling backwards.

“‘S good, ‘s so good.” He moans so prettily with your hand around him, crying out pleas for more whilst his hands find purchase on the arms of the chair.

“Yeah?” You ask, closing your hold on him a little tighter. “It’s good? I bet you’re already close, huh?”

You didn’t need to ask that, already knew he could probably come any minute - but the way he reacts to your words, the way he answers your questions makes you speak often.

“Mnh-“ Any response he had dies quickly. Glancing up to him, you see his mouth open, moans and words getting caught in his heavy breaths and pants.

“Oh, look at you,” you coo, quickening your pace until his hips were fucking up into your fist and he was tensing with another oncoming orgasm.

Such a good boy, you think while your hand slips up the shaft of his wet cock.

“I can come this time? Please?”

He’s so sweet that you feel a bit bad making him hold back longer. Your hand slows and desperately he shakes his head at you.

“Not yet, kitty.” When he attempts to make your hand speed back up by covering it with his and pulling it up, you let go of him completely.

“So greedy today,” you tut, finger going to tap teasingly at his tip. “We haven’t even gotten to the main event.”

His head perks up a little at that.

Normally, you would straddle and ride him until the two of you were coming, but today you wanted to do things a little different.

Luckily you had brought a blanket along with you the last time you visited him. It had been night, a little chilly and so you had taken a soft fleece-y material blanket in your bag so you could relax on the balcony with Xiao without being cold.

It was folded atop the little table near where you sat, so you snatched it up and laid it out on the wooden balcony floor. It wouldn’t be the most comfortable but it would suffice - you’re sure your level of comfort won’t matter once the two of you finally start what you had planned.

You shed your clothes, fighting a smile when you catch him staring from the corner of your eye. Your head tilts slightly when you turn to face him. “Are you going to join me?”

His eyes were wide and he looked a little distant, but he followed suit, fumbling out of his clothes and joining you onto the blanket you had laid out.

“Kiss me,” you advise, pulling his head away from its spot against your neck, where he’d been sucking and biting at.

“I don’t want to kiss.”

The way his eyes follow your lips tell a different story than his words. He always does that - claims that he doesn’t want to kiss you, as if he’s playing hard to get. As if he doesn’t melt against you right when you place your lips on his.

Unconsciously, his lips chased yours after you pulled away. You laughed into another kiss, murmuring “you’re so needy,” against him.

He whines, not even denying what you told him.

“Kitty,” you call him to attention. “You’re going to do something for me, okay?”

He nods, enthusiastic to do whatever you needed. When you lean down onto your back and spread your legs, though, his brain malfunctions.

“You want to fuck me?”

Xiao hasn’t ever fucked you before. You were always atop him, grinding and riding his cock while he sat brainless and on the edge beneath you. It was somewhat of a reward to him for being such a good boy all the time - you were curious to see how he’d react.

A small shuffle forward, unsure of the new position that put him in some position of control. You widened the space between your legs more to accommodate him, having him slide forward all the way until his cock was resting on top of your cunt.

“Go ahead,” you encourage lightly.

You hear him take a small, steadying breath, before you feel the press of his head against your hole. You’re wet and ready for him so he slips in without a hitch.

As soon as he’s inside, he can’t seem to stop the noises he makes. “Wet, n’ tight, it’s so good- I-“

His hips slid back and bumped forward and he let out a long moan.

“I won’t last. I’ll come, I’ll come.”

A small coo, reaching out to wrap your hand lightly around his neck. “Not yet, kitty. Can you fuck me?”

You don’t need to ask him twice. The feel of your hot cunt around his cock is always so much for him, so once he starts thrusting you know he won’t last long.

“You know,” you murmur into his ear, “i was thinking. You should come inside me.”

Even though he always come inside, the thought still has him whimpering out a plea.

“You can breed me,” you add, “and make me all yours.”

That was new. He must like the idea of that, because he pistons in harder, faster, in a way that has your head falling back in pleasure.

“All mine,” he repeats, “all mine.”

“Mhm, all yours.” You regain your composure as best you can so you can continue speaking. “Wouldn’t that be nice? Breed and fill me up so much it’s leaking out. Do you want that?”

You wish there was a way you could record his reaction. He had paused half-thrust, whole body shuddering at the thought of doing what you suggested. It was so sweet, the minute he had to take so he didn’t come right on the spot.

Already, he was close, voice high and loud while he keeps fucking you. You assume he isn’t used to the work it takes to fuck into you repeatedly like this, but he’s doing so well that you give him some sweet praises that mix with your breathy moans.

He’s such a good boy.

“Can I come, c’n I come, please- oh fuck.”

“Aw, you want to fill me up?” He whines high at that, collapsing into you while his hips work hard against yours.

You don’t give him permission, letting him get desperate while you get closer to the edge yourself. For not being experienced in doing the fucking, he was hitting so good inside you, so good that you were clamping down onto his cock.

He was so loud you were surprised no one came up here worried and wondering what was going on - truthfully this has been going on long enough for them to have figured it out.

More please spew from him, and, a little out of it, you nod.

With a few harsh final pushes inside, he releases, and the feeling of his load inside you has you tipping over as well. The rhythmic pulses of your cunt around him, milking him of every last drop makes his hips kick and a pathetic little overstimulated sob leave him.

“Mine,” he says breathlessly to nobody in particular - just voicing it.

What a good boy.