#etcetera and so forth

[brain-rot-tmnt]

Yes exactly!

To make this about turtles for a minute: I don't like tcest. I will never read nor engage with tcest content.

But I will fight to the death for peoples right to make, write, post, and consume tcest to their weird little heart's desire!

[whirligiggler]

how old i think palia characters are based on nothing but vibes (minus einar, hekla, and tamala because i'm not doing all that math):

ashura - 57

auni - 12

badruu - 47

caleri & elouisa - 34

chayne - 52

delaila - 46

eshe - 61

hassian - 23

hodari - 46

jel - 27

jina - 26

kenli - 55

kenyatta - 24

nai'o - 25

najuma - 14

reth - 25

sifuu - 48

subira - 42

tau - 13

tish - 23

zeki - 38

[mystacoceti]

I'm surprised that in all my years on tumblr I haven't seen more autism mood boards of Mr. Darcy

[renegadeshroom]

after the third or so mention of penelope fittes' deep or husky voice i have decided that shes trans now and also that i am subsequently enamoured with her. bombshell trans woman doing sinister dealings with secret societies. and employing a legion of child soldiers. whats not to love

[p-sunghoonies]

Chris rambling on bubble about whatever the fuck 🤝🏾 me rambling on the dash.

[qqueenofhades]

Worth noting that a federal judge has already put one of Trump's dumbass executive orders (the revocation of birthright citizenship one) on temporary hold. Yes etc, temporary, but 21 states sued the instant it was enacted and it's already been enjoined. Etc etc., evil not unstoppable, stupid EOs quickly blocked, small bits of hope in terrible timeline, so forth and etcetera.

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

Seungmin: *Shows the slightest bit of chest*

Me:

[bluebellhairpin]

Sanji Vinsmoke X Fem!Reader

Summary: Sanji takes his job as cook on the Going Merry very seriously, and seeing as he has yet to discover what you enjoy eating, he makes finding out his top priority. Lucky for Sanji, Luffy lends a hand. (a.k.a, reader has a complicated relationship with food, and Sanji finds a way to help fix it.) (wc. 2.8K)

Warnings: Food, food, more food (possibly a ED warning needed). They make out in the end :) Reader has she/her pronouns + fem bodied +tragic backstory.

Listening to: 'clementine' by Halsey - "Left my shoes in the street, so you'd carry me, through a breakdown. Through a breakdown or a blackout, would you make out with me on the floor of the mezzanine?"

Masterlist || AO3 link

To Sanji Vinsmoke you were an enigma, and it was driving him half mad trying to figure you out. Sanji had figured out everyone else in Luffy’s crew fairly quickly. In regards to food that is.

Luffy loves meat, Nami has her tangerines, etcetera and so forth. But you? He barely saw you finish a single plate of food, let alone go back for more - or forbid look like you were enjoying eating at all. Sanji’s whole life revolved around food, and he wasn’t going to have someone he decided to care for so deeply dislike it so much.

His stare pinned you to your seat at the kitchen table, fingers tapping the wood as he ran through the list in his head to find something new to try your tastes at.

“You’re really sure you don’t like tangerines? They’re in season at the moment.” Sanji watched your face form into a grimace, teeth bearing as you sucked air into your mouth.

“Not really. Sorry.” He waved his hand, shooing away your worry like swatting a fly. His thoughts wandered again before speaking after a few long moments of silence.

“Your not liking seafood feels like a crime.” he mumbled. As he looked at you he saw your eyes flicker to the side.

“I’ll eat it, I just can’t say it’s my favourite.” you said.

“You’re just saying that.” he smiled, “I saw your face screw up the first time Zoro had a poor attempt at making sashimi.”

“It wasn’t that bad!” You sat up, ready to defend yourself from Sanji’s interrogation. “I’m just not used to eating raw fish!”

“He can’t make it like I do.” he said softly. You looked into his eyes and he had to hold himself back from sighing dreamily.

Sanji, besides believing food shouldn’t be wasted, loved seeing people who needed to eat happy with what they ate. You worried him, since it had been weeks and yet you’d never expressed such approval. You never even went back for seconds - which obviously was on his mind more than he’d ever admit. He tried so hard to find something you’d like, and hadn’t yet. He wondered how happy you’d look when he finally found out what you liked. How your pretty eyes might light up, or how you might finally bless him with a real toothy grin instead of a shy smile.

He almost sighed again at the thought of how beautiful it would be.

“You care a lot about food, don’t you?” your voice was quiet, but it cut through Sanji’s thoughts like a knife. He watched your face soften. “You don’t have to answer. I can tell.”

He watched you, the way you took a deep breath and how it shifted your shoulders. Then you stood, and came around the table. You hand rested inches from his, and he knew he shouldn’t want to hold your hand as badly as he did. He wondered if your fingers were soft or calloused, felt hot or cold. He wanted to hold your hand so badly, but he didn’t.

“You don’t have to care so much about me, Sanji. I’ll eat whatever’s put in front of me, whether I like it or not.”

Your words made him frown, and he watched you turn and leave. Something about your words left him feeling an immeasurable amount of sadness. He once said women were mysteries to be unravelled slowly, you were the slowest he’d come across. You sounded so sad when you spoke, as if resolved to a fate you never wanted.

It made him scared to uncover what possibly happened to you to resign like that, and sad to think about how different you might be now if you hadn’t gone through it. Clearly, you had gone through something, or someone, to make you so uncaring for something many people found joy in.

He decided then that he would help fix it. Sanji would bring joy back into your life through food.

Calm, quiet nights on the Going Merry were a favourite of yours. The sea was still, the salt sat lightly in the air, and the sky was so clear you could see stars no matter which direction you looked. It was peaceful. Carefree. On nights like these you could clear your head, spread out your thoughts like photos on the floor and organise them one by one.

You kept nights like these a secret because you knew if someone found you and got you talking that you’d keep no more secrets. With your vulnerability laid bare before you it was also laid bare to anyone who came by. Doing this small ritual late at night meant no one ever had seen it. Tonight changed that.

A hand reached at the railing inches from your face, and a wide grin soon followed. Someone had found you.

“You trying to scare me into a heart attack Luffy?” His grin softened at your nonchalant reply.

“I don’t believe I really scared you with how you’re reacting.”

“My heart’s beating right out of my chest, really it is captain. You should feel it.” You said, watching him climb over the railing and sit down beside you. His quietness while doing so was unusual. “You don’t usually come up here.”

“I wanted to ask you something -”

‘Here we go,’ you thought, rolling your eyes.

“- You gave your dinner to Ussop tonight. Distracted him by getting him to tell a story then put your plate in front of him so he wouldn’t notice. But I did.” he said. Luffy looked across at you, his hat rested around his neck by its drawstring. Without the hat he looked more serious - that paired with the genuine concern in his eyes and your own aforementioned vulnerability was dangerous.

“Why did you do that?” You looked at him, and he looked back at you. You sighed.

“Before dinner he said he was starving.” you said, “After he finished eating I gave him mine so he didn’t have to get up.”

“You need to eat too. He says that all the time, it’s just a joke.”

You sighed. Your arms rested across the banister of the crows rest, and your chin now nestled on top of them. When you spoke again your voice was soft, and you didn’t look back at Luffy.

“It’s not a joke to me.” From the corner of your eye you saw his position mirror yours, and his legs slowly started swinging from where they dangled over the edge.

“Why?” he asked. It was such a small unassuming word. Normally it wouldn’t bother you, but tonight it was the one thing you were most worried about. It could open a floodgate you’d been dying to keep closed since you joined the Straw Hats - and now it had opened.

“My family.” you said. “My island was good. We weren’t well-off but we never went without the things we needed. Then pirates came, and the marines came. Then if we had something and it wasn’t stolen by pirates, it was allocated to the marines. We started starving.”

Finally, you looked across to Luffy. He stared at you with a frown, the kind he’d get when he was focusing and trying to understand. You’d seen him direct it to others but had never been on the receiving end yourself - it felt strange. With that look, however strange it was, he made you feel like you needed to keep talking just so he understood. So you kept talking.

“With the lack of what we needed, my mother died, then my father. I had to look after my sister on my own, so I worked. I skipped eating so she got breakfast and dinner, I only ate the food I got from work. I did my best to go hungry so she didn’t have to and she died anyway.”

The weight of your words sat heavy in the night air. Your words were gentle, resigned - you’d gotten used to the thought long ago that losing your family was an act you were helpless to stop no matter how hard you tried. You’d spent the rest of your life until now trying even harder to see if that would have made a difference.

For a long time all you heard was the lapping of seawater on the ship’s hull.

“I don’t want to see the people I care about go hungry again. I want them to be happy. I want you all to be happy.” You turned your cheek to rest on your arm, suddenly feeling tired as you looked back at Luffy. “So I give up my food, I don’t eat more than my share.”

Luffy, again, mirrored your action. His cheek squished against his forearm as he looked at you. He lacked the frown now, and his eyes held understanding. You could tell your story made him sad, but he also looked grateful. Eventually his face broke out in a new, wide grin.

“If you could eat anything without a care in the world, what would it be?”

At the look on Luffy’s face, you let out a quiet noise that almost could’ve been a soft laugh. His eyes were expectant, so you looked back to the ocean and thought.

“I know it’s a drink, but I loved tea.” You sighed dreamily. “French earl grey was my favourite.”

Sanji knew you liked your quiet time, so he never went up to the crows nest with you. He stayed on deck, out of sight and smoking, until you climbed down and went to bed. He liked to think he was making sure you didn’t fall, but really he treated it like your own secret.

You up there, him down here, and that's the special time you get to spend together, a moment where it was just the two of you - even if you didn’t know about it. When Luffy started climbing the rigging, Sanji was prepared to get really pissed off for ruining your peace. He was glad he didn’t though.

Still night’s means sound travels well and fast. He heard everything you and Luffy talked about.

Thanks to your Captain, he’d figured you out - and he wasn’t going to bed tonight. He stomped out his cigarette and turned around back into the kitchen.

The plan for today was to dock the Going Merry and spend most of the day ashore, either gathering supplies or, in Luffy’s case, finding some local trouble to get in the middle of. Sanji’s original plan was to do that too, but after last night he had new plans.

The fact everyone else would be gone was fantastic - and your own plan to stay close to the ship to spend time around the hull scraping off barnacles was even more perfect.

Sanji was even more grateful to Luffy’s talk with you last night, since your whole mood seemed lighter today. Convincing out to climb back aboard was almost too easy - and the lack of trouble it took to get you to entertain his shenanigans was almost just as easy.

“Sanji I don’t know why you have to cover my eyes, I can keep my eyes closed just fine.”

“I don’t want you peeking.”

“If you’re going to show me some food sculpture again,” you trailed off. Sanji controlled the fluttering in his chest at the feeling of your cheeks moving under his palms - movements that meant you were smiling.

“If I was, you’d be very impressed.” He guided you to a stop, making sure to position you just right. He suddenly felt very nervous. This felt worse than when he made his very first meal. What if you didn’t like it? What if this was a big mistake? What if-

“Sanji?” you whispered. He didn’t even realize his hands were resting on your shoulders until your fingers came up and grazed his own. “Are you okay?”

He smiled. Of course you’d ask that - it made sense now, now that he knew you were the most selfless person he’d met.

“I’m perfect.” he said, hands squeezing your shoulders, “Are you ready to see your surprise?” You nodded. He let out a soft ‘okay’ and reluctantly pulled away to stand next to the kitchen table.

Sanji watched as you took it in, but your face gave nothing away. He nervously looked toward the table again - maybe something was out of place? - then back to you.

“What is this?” you asked. Your voice was so soft that if he wasn’t on a knife's edge he wouldn’t have heard it.

“Earl grey and chocolate cheesecake, and a lemon and earl grey chiffon cake.” He noticed your eyes lingering on a porcelain set just behind the cake. “And tea ready to brew.”

“Sanji, you didn’t have to do -”

“No!” His objection was abrupt, and it made your eyes snap from the spread to him. “I’m sorry, but no. I won’t hear you say it. Just eat it. Please.” Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest, too scared to even blink.

You could tell Sanji felt just as tense as you did. No one had ever gone through so much just for you - hell you didn’t even know there was French earl grey tea anywhere on the Merry, and here Sanji was with a whole morning tea that was themed after your favourite flavour. You didn’t know what to do.

“I’ll get on my knees and beg if you want.” he offered with a small and unsteady grin. Your head shook, declining, and his eyes glanced down at where your fingers nervously fiddled with themselves. You stilled them, instead gripping the coarse fabric of your skirt.

“What I want?” you said softly, almost to yourself. You looked at the food, so carefully prepared and baked, then back at him. “Could you join me? I don’t want to eat alone.”

Instantly, his nerves seemed to visibly melt away - and you in turn felt like you could relax too. He was by your side again, guiding you with a phantom hand at your waist into a seat, and then took the one beside you.

“You’ll have tea, obviously.” Sanji offered, reaching for the teapot, “You’re sweet as you are, but do you need some sugar today?”

Your hand faltered for where it reached for a piece of the chiffon cake. He turned his head to face you, to see you frozen again. This time the look on your face was different. Like a cheeky child had been caught with their hand in a cookie jar.

“Do you think I need some sugar today?” you asked, snickering.

“I’d give you some any day you want.” Then you started giggling - a sound he’d never heard from you before. He looked over and there it was - the smile he’d been longing for a chance to see.

“I think I need some sugar today,” you said with a smile. Your giggling had stopped, but you looked up at him with a soft smile. He couldn’t have been dreaming, but he might’ve since he swore you lent closer.

Sanji decided to be brave. His arm came up to rest on the back of his seat, and his fingers brushed your jaw. His heart skipped a beat when you let him do it.

“How much sugar?” he asked, feeling like he’d been lulled into a daydream at the sight of your happiness.

“A little bit,” you replied, shyly smiling over at him.

“Like this?” he said softly. Ever so carefully he lent forward. His fingers held your chin gently, and when he was close enough to count your eyelashes, your eyes fluttered closed. Gently, he pressed a kiss to the edge of your mouth. It was a short kiss, but he could die happily now - he knew he’d remember the feel of you on his lips even from beyond the grave.

“No,” you whispered, and your fingers ghosted across his jaw to guide his head closer still, “Like this.” you said. Then you kissed him. Your kiss was just as soft, just as gentle, but it was longer, and less afraid. When you pulled away your eyes finally opened.

Before, Sanji could tell you weren’t the kind of person to have done that. To have taken a kiss for yourself, no matter how willing the recipient was. To think all that it took to break that spell was a morning tea.

“Thank you Sanji, for doing all this for me.” You said. Your smile was content - it wasn’t the full toothy grin Sanji had hoped for, but it was genuine, and it made him feel fuller than any meal ever could.

“No, thank you,” he replied, “Thank you for letting me know you.”

[sunforgrace]

LOVE the little smug self satisfied look on cas' face when dean stabs him, the slow look down at the knife in his chest and then back up at dean. the very slightest of smiles on his face. unwavering eye contact. never blinking. staring as intensely as dean as physically possible. drawing out the knife slowly. dropping it. not even turning to look as bobby tries to hit him over the head not even angling his body away from dean just reaching out and stopping the swing while still. staring. at. dean. last time somebody looked at me like that i got laid etcetera and so forth

[hotchsprncess]

Hi! Can I please request a Hotch fic with a chubby BAU!reader? Where they’re on a case and the lead detective isn’t really taking reader seriously and says/mentions something backhanded about reader’s appearance and Aaron just happens to overhear it and defends her 🤭

Then she acts like it didn’t really bother her but Aaron can just tell something’s up, could end in smut (either hotel room or when they’re back home) or just good old fluff! you can throw in some daddy kink in there if you want 🙂‍↕️

Also sorry if this is too long of a request, please don’t feel obligated to respond to this!!

.ᐟ MDNI .ᐟ

OMG thank you so much for this amazing idea 🤭 the way i'm beyond excited to write this is unreal!!!! hope you enjoy °⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ p.s: there is a lot of plot/build up in this fic, so it may take a while to get to the smut but i promise it's there :p

i like you, have a cupcake ⊹ aaron hotchner

ᝰ summary : after being disrespected by the lead detective in new york, hotch can tell that it's hit close to home. once he decides to check on you back at the hotel, there's no telling what he'll do to make you feel better.

ᝰ warnings : fem chubby/plus size bau!reader, discussion of case/unsub, reader being undermined/body shamed, discussion of insecurity/body image, use of y/l/n (twice), co-workers to lovers (ish, asked on a date), sub!reader, softdom!aaron, some nipple play, clit smacks (literally 2), oral f receiving (he's a munch idc), daddy kink, praise (maybe a tad of degradation), dirty talk, p in v, multiple orgasms, creampie, fluffy ending

you loved new york city, but not when you were here on a case. 3 days in felt like 5 already, and everyone was getting impatient. you all sat around the table, with the exception of hotch standing at the evidence board, trying to build a stronger profile.

"it's just so elusive, i don't get why the mo is going back and forth between strangulation, stabbing, and shooting" jj wonders out loud, the shuffling sound of flipping through photos filling the room.

"are we looking at a team here? i mean, there's 3 distinct mos. maybe they're taking turns" rossi chimes in, everyone nodding along to what he says.

"the victimology is all over the map though" reid gestures to the evidence board, "the 2 stabbings were young white females, the 1 shooting was a middle-aged asian male, and the 3 strangulations were all single women of varying races, aged 50-55 who lived alone. it doesn't correlate with a team who would likely be going after the same demographic"

"and we're still sure this is the same guy?" lead detective thomas calls out from the corner of the room, sipping coffee out of his nypd mug.

"a penny was left at each scene in the victim's hand. it might seem coincidental, but the chances of all of these individuals holding a single penny while they were attacked is under 0.1%. so yes, it's the same unsub" reid provides a statistic as he usually does, causing the gears to turn in your head.

"what if it's one person with dissociative identity disorder? like you said, the victimology doesn't make sense for a team, but for someone with did an alter is a completely different person with different experiences, motives, preferences, etcetera. the signature of the penny remains the same, so maybe that's motivated by the host personality. they all share a reason to kill, but that's the extent of the similarities" you figure that even though someone may see it as far fetched, it's worth proposing.

"seriously? first of all, i doubt that even exists, let alone that this guy has it. like agent rossi said, a team seems more accurate" detective thomas counters your theory, making you curl in on yourself a bit.

"actually, what agent y/l/n said is very applicable to this case and might just help us solve it. let's deliver the updated profile" hotch responds, shutting up detective thomas as the team starts to head out of the conference room.

"great work" he whispers to you as you pass by him, a gentle blush filling your cheeks. praise from your boss was always welcomed, not only because he defended your theory but also because you maybe had a little crush on him.

later that day around 7pm, one of the nypd officers brought in treats that his wife had made. there were cookies, cupcakes, brownies, and even a few muffins. everyone dug in as you waited until the crowd dissipated to go have your pick. your stomach rumbled as you approached the counter, filling your cup with coffee as you scanned the beautiful desserts. you felt the presence of someone beside you, looking to see that it was detective thomas. you felt a little anxious around him, but nonetheless hoped to keep the peace with some small talk.

"these all look great, huh?" you propose, stirring some sugar into your coffee.

"very..." you notice his eyes scan you from your peripheral, "not sure you need any of them though"

you'd had your fair share of body shaming throughout the years, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. it was one thing that detective thomas already undermined you and your profiling skills, but he also blatantly body shamed you to your face as if he had no cares in the world. it made you sink further into yourself, unsure of what to say and also not wanting to cause a scene. you were in the fbi and you had the reputation of the bau to uphold, you couldn't afford to let him have it despite desperately wanting to put him in his place. though, you didn't have the chance to react anyways because hotch was one step ahead of you.

"that was extremely unprofessional and rude of you, detective. my team and i, including agent y/l/n, are here out of our own free will. if you can't show her respect i will not hesitate to walk out of here with my team and leave you to your own devices. am i clear?" his tone is authoritative and his threat very serious. hotch didn't mess around.

"uh... yeah. crystal" detective thomas is visibly awkward after hotch's scolding. good.

"are you going to apologize to her or do i need to teach you how to do that too?" you wanted to chuckle at hotch's response but decided to hold it in for everyone's sake.

"i'm sorry, agent. won't happen again"

all you do is nod in response, walking away from the coffee counter and retreating back into the conference room. another rumble of your stomach reminded you just how hungry you were, but the thought of stuffing your face with a cupcake after that made your appetite dissolve. you felt out of place, like everyone heard what he said and was analyzing your appearance. you knew that wasn't the case, but that's exactly how it felt. the feeling was ultimately unwelcomed.

after 5 more hours of work and another victim, the team decided to call it a night. with your input of did the profile of the unsub was getting stronger and connecting the victims became easier, lifting everyone's spirits a bit.

you bid your goodnights to the rest of the team as you exited the hotel elevator and made your way down the hall to your room. you decided a shower was necessary after the long day, humming as the warm water encapsulated you.

you avoided looking in the mirror for too long as you stepped out of the shower, still feeling a little uncomfortable from earlier. you slipped into your pyjamas, consisting of a baggy crewneck sweater and sleep shorts, before settling against the headboard and grabbing your book from the bedside table. before you could even finish the first sentence, a knock at your door grabbed your attention. you shuffled your way to the door, looking through the peephole to spot hotch on the other side. your heart skipped a beat before unlocking the door, a small smile on his face when you opened it.

"sorry to bother, but i just wanted to check on you and make sure you were okay" hotch can appear standoffish in the field, but his care for others was very strong and genuine.

"oh, thank you, i'm okay... i don't want to make earlier a big deal or anything, i've heard it before"

a slight frown forms on hotch's face at your words, "i'm sorry to hear that, you don't deserve to be spoken to that way"

you nod shyly at his response, spotting the container in his hands.

"oh! here" hotch holds the container out towards you, "i noticed you didn't end up eating anything at the station, so i grabbed you a cupcake"

your heart swells at the thoughtfulness of your boss, grabbing the container from his hands, fingers brushing against his. "that's sweet of you, thank you" you continue without thinking, "did you want to come in? i have a couple beers in the fridge"

"i don't want to impose-"

"you aren't at all, please..." you open the door wider, allowing him to pass by you. you're overwhelmed with the scent of his cologne, not too strong but still potent and manly. hopefully it sticks in the room after he leaves.

you set down the container and grab two beers from the mini fridge, passing one to hotch as he sits across from you at the little dining table in your room.

"do you party by yourself often when we're away on cases?" he teases, gesturing to the beer in his hand.

"oh no, jj and i party together" you giggle softly, a chuckle slipping from his mouth. "i'll invite you next time"

"that would be great" he shoots you a smile before taking a sip, you doing the same.

"i-" you take a breath, "like i said, i don't want to make earlier a big deal, but i do want to thank you for defending me. being a female in this area of work can already be hard enough, but being..." you sigh, "not fitting into the beauty standard just adds another layer, i guess, so thank you"

"you don't have to thank me, you never should've been disrespected like that. and for what it's worth, i think you're beautiful" his hand reaches for yours which is resting on the table, squeezing it softly.

your cheeks fill with heat, the feeling of his large hand around yours bringing solace.

"i know it may be inappropriate, but i don't care. you're so beautiful, i can't help but want to make sure that you know it" his tone is as serious as can be, yet beyond genuine.

"aaron" you breathe, locking eyes with him. you get lost in the deep brown hue of his eyes as they fill with something you can't quite pinpoint.

"come here" he speaks barely above a whisper, coaxing you over to his side of the table as he rises from his chair. your hand remains in his as you walk over, stopping in front of him before his hands trail to your hips. he hoists you onto the table, a small gasp escaping you. a subtle smirk grazes his lips as he situates himself between your legs, leaning in closer.

"if this isn't okay, tell me" the urge to squeeze the plush of your hips was overwhelming aaron, but he harnessed some self-control in order to make sure you were comfortable.

"it's more than okay" you reply, hands reaching up to loosen the tie he was still wearing.

aaron doesn't miss a beat, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. you hum at the feeling, tugging off his tie and letting your hands roam his shoulders. he squeezes your hips, his hands trailing up your body underneath your sweater. his hands are rough but his touch is intoxicating, indulging in every inch of you. he takes ahold of your breasts, groping the mounds and flicking your nipples with his thumbs. he pulls away from the kiss, a whine escaping your lips.

"i know, baby. just wanna take this off, is that okay?" the pet name goes straight to your core as you nod in response to his question.

"words. tell me it's okay" the dominance in his voice has wetness pooling in your panties.

"it's okay, please" you practically beg, eager to feel him all over you.

"good girl, lift your arms up" he strips you of your sweater, tossing it onto the chair he was previously seated in.

his eyes rake over your body, close to drooling at the sight of your bare breasts and the plush of your tummy; he was in awe.

"fucking beautiful" he groans, kissing you again but with a little more fervor this time. he lets his lips trail down your jaw and neck, making their way between your breasts and over your tummy. he reaches the waistband of your shorts, looking up at you for confirmation.

"please, yes" you whine impatiently, remembering his need to hear you verbally respond.

he smirks proudly before pulling off your shorts and panties in one shot, kneeling on the rough carpet of the hotel room as he spreads you open.

"my god" he murmurs, pressing kisses along the insides of your thighs. "i always loved your thighs, the way those skirts you wear hug them so perfectly..." he muses as you squirm under his touch and gaze, his mouth so close yet so far.

"i'm getting there, sweetheart, be patient" this only makes you whimper more, aaron landing a gentle smack to your clit. "did you hear me?"

"mhmmm" you whine, another smack landing on your needy clit.

"you'll get what you want faster if you answer properly, you know that by now, don't you?" he uses his thumbs to spread your pussy open, your slick staring back at him.

"yes, yes daddy!" the name slips before you can stop it, your mouth moving faster than your brain due to the pure desperation you felt. having your boss (and the man you secretly have feelings for) between your legs was a sight you thought you'd only see in your dreams, so your current position was dizzying to say the least.

the sound that left aaron was reminiscent of a growl, immediately diving in to collect your juices on his tongue. you couldn't hold back your moans if you tried, nails clawing at the wooden table underneath you.

"you taste so good... so good for daddy" he murmurs, sucking your clit into his mouth. each time he suckles on your bud he sends you further into ecstasy, your back arching and pushing your pussy further into his face.

"oh my god, fuck oh my god" you babble breathlessly, aaron's ministrations not faltering even as you grind your pussy against his mouth. he lets go of your clit just to start flicking it with his tongue, hands gripping your thighs and holding them back so he had room to devour you.

"i'm- i'm close"

"yeah? you're gonna cum on my tongue?" aaron's tongue dives into your hole before suckling on your clit again, pushing you over the edge.

"daddy" you squeal as you cum for aaron, a hum rumbling in his throat as he tastes your sweetness. your chest rises and falls rapidly as you attempt to regulate your breath, the task proving difficult as he sexily unbuttons his shirt and unbuckles his belt.

"you did so good, baby. can you get on the bed for me?" he asks gently as he unzips his pants, observing every movement of yours.

"of course" you make your way to the bed, sitting in the middle and waiting (im)patiently for aaron to make his way over and touch you again. he removes his boxers before he saunters over, your eyes almost bulging out of your head at the sight of his cock. he was around 7 inches in length yet still a perfect thickness, the head leaking precum and looking unbelievably enticing.

"lie back and hold those legs for me" he hums in satisfaction as you obey his orders, tapping his tip on your clit. the wet smacking sound has you whimpering, your eyes practically begging him to push inside.

"is there something you want?" you learned quickly that aaron loved to taunt and tease, but also hear you ask for him; express your desire.

"give me your cock, daddy, i need you inside me"

"need me, huh?" he smirks as he slowly pushes just his tip inside, remaining stagnant for a moment though it felt like hours. "who am i to deny a girl her needs?" he pushes all the way in, the sudden fill making you gasp.

he starts to thrust, finding a pace that still allows him to fuck deeply into you. his hands are pressing your legs back now, your own yanking at the duvet below you. the sound of his hips slamming into yours echoes off the hotel walls, your pussy sucking in his cock each time he pulls out.

"so perfect, you feel so good around daddy" he moans, pounding into you like it's the last thing he'd ever do. "thought about this pussy so many times, pressing you like this and making you mine"

you whine at his words, the prospect of forming a coherent sentence seeming far fetched by how much his cock was jumbling your brain.

"you cock drunk? hm? you're so cute" he breathes out, his hips picking up their pace as he plunges deep into you again and again. you clench around him, indicating that your orgasm was on it's descent again.

"are you gonna cum again? answer me"

"yes daddy! i- oh i'm gonna cum, gonna cum" you moan loudly, speaking nonsense as you begin to cum around his cock.

aaron lets out a low growl, continuing to pound relentlessly. "that's it, that's a good fucking girl, let it all out"

your legs quiver in his grasp as you come down from your second orgasm, his cock sliding in and out of you with ease.

"please cum inside me, daddy. fill me with your cum, please please please" you plead as you stare up at aaron, the pleasure plastered on his face now ingrained in your mind.

"fuck... anything for you, sweetheart, i'm gonna fill this pussy" he groans, his hips stuttering as he starts to cum. you feel the twitch of his cock as he pumps you full, his hands gingerly releasing your legs and lying them flat on the bed.

"holy shit" you giggle, rubbing your hands up and down his biceps.

"you could say that again" aaron chuckles, pulling out slowly and lying beside you on the bed. his hand finds it's home on your waist as you snuggle close to him, your head resting on his chest.

"i definitely couldn't have guessed that this is how my evening would go" you mumble, tracing shapes on his chest with your finger.

"me neither, but i'm happy it did... i've been wanting that to happen for a long time" aaron hugs you close as your bodies exchange heat.

"oh yeah?"

"mhm, and i want you to know that i have more than sexual attraction to you... i'd love to take you on a date once we get home, if you'd want that"

a smile takes over your face at his question, "i'd love that"

aaron presses a kiss to your head,

"sounds like a plan, sweetheart"

[luna-the-cretar]

Hi, I’m talking about the love curses in OUAW again for the thousandth time, because I finally understand Richie’s interpretation of it after seeing it again in the Yuletide oneshot.

Okay, so obviously Mikey’s and even Andy’s interpretation of the love curses doesn’t go any further than skin deep. They just see the item of their affection and essentially become Ron from that one video of the two birds. And id say it’s fairly in character for the two goblinoids.

Rich’s interpretation of the love curse, I’ve noticed, is just closeness. It’s not as obvious with Briggsy in the Yuletide oneshot, but it’s especially obvious with Kremy during the wedding in episode 15. Sure, Kremy got jealous, but that wasn’t the only thing. He just. Wanted to be close to Gideon (closer than I bet he normally is).

Kremy didn’t start really talking to Gid until AFTER he was affected with the curse, to which he couldn’t shut up. And because they were standing at the altar, the two of them had to keep leaning in to sidebar, hence getting closer. Then was Kremy’s suggestion of feeding each other the peanut butter pie/cake, and the dancing. Even after the curse had long since dissipated, it almost seems like Kremy keeps fighting himself between getting closer to Gideon as well as putting distance between them.

And then there’s Mace’s interpretation with Gideon, which is interesting. Because the first time Gideon got the love curse, he was mostly just. Admiring Kremy. Calling him beautiful/perfect, regardless of form; helping him fix his mustache; nodding along to Kremy’s stupid Shants scheme. I mean, there was also the noticeable sexual attraction—like with the goblinoids—but this is also Gideon we’re talking about. And also, this only applied to the first time, when it applied to Kremy. Which is also interesting because Gideon does most of this stuff normally, it’s just that any romantic undertones were repressed. Hidden. But once he was under the love curse, it was like all of those repressed affections for Kremy came forth, louder than ever (which might also be the reason why Gideon was able to verbally admit he loved Kremy, whereas Kremy couldn’t, even when he was under his curse)

But for Bumbo? None of that really applied. It was barely below skin deep. In fact, Gideon even mentioned that he knew that Bumbo was just a clown using the body of his best friend. Gideon was just kinda…sad? He was sad that Bumbo was sad, and that Gideon had killed him, but that was the end of it, really. Which makes sense since Bumbo is his own entity, separate from Kremy, so of course none of the same things apply to someone who isn’t Kremy.

And, again, even after the curse had long since dissipated, you can still see some of the more notable traces throughout the rest of the campaign. Like Gideon listening and egging Kremy on about his Witches Brew idea (and the whole Taper Tots idea), Kremy being the first one he ran to once he got his fire back, worrying about Kremy not eating enough, etcetera, etcetera.

But he’s also seemingly trying to put distance between the two of them—while Kremy is trying to close that same distance—and has been since the first love curse.

Idk man, I think the love curse is really fucking interesting, and I’m going to pick these two dumbasses apart cell by cell until OUAW picks back up in the new year

[moonstruckme]

Hi I love your poly marauders fics so much!! Is it possible for you to write one where the reader has to go to the doctors but she absolutely hates the doctor and needles. Totally fine if not 💗

Thanks lovely!

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words

Remus has strong-armed you into looking at your ankle again. Almost literally strong-armed you, with James as his lackey, your curly headed boyfriend keeping an arm wrapped around your shoulders that’s as affectionate as it is binding. Remus gnaws on his lip as he prods at your swollen leg, making quiet sounds of discontent at whatever he feels. 

He looks up at you, brows knit together. “The swelling hasn’t gone down at all, dove.” 

“It will soon,” you say faithfully. “It’s only been a couple of days.” 

“You should at least be able to walk on it by now.”

“I can,” you reply. “It doesn’t feel great, but I can walk on it.” 

He gives you a deadpan look, and you can feel James’ silent chuckling against your side. “That’s not what I mean,” Remus says. “I’m sorry love, but you need to get this checked out.” 

You open your mouth, but Remus reads the argument in your face before it passes your lips. 

“By a professional,” he clarifies. 

You huff, crossing your arms in front of you. “What’re they gonna tell me that I don’t already know? Rest, elevate, etcetera, etcetera.” You roll your eyes. James begins to sweep his thumb back and forth on your shoulder, trying to pacify you. “There’s no point in going into some cold office for that.” 

“Unless it’s more serious than we think,” Remus counters. His eyes are worried, but his mouth is set in a firm line. “If you’d only twisted it, it wouldn't have swelled up this badly. And even if it isn’t that bad,” he goes on, bulldozing over the protest that comes to your tongue, “at least they’ll be able to give you a real compress. These bandages get too loose, which probably isn’t helping with the healing.” 

“It’ll heal if I give it time,” you say stubbornly, pulling your leg from his grip and starting to rewrap it yourself. “Stop worrying so much.” 

“Dove.” It’s his no-nonsense voice. “Our deal was that if it wasn’t getting better after three days, you’d go get it looked at.” He ducks to make you meet his eyes, softening when he finds them. “It’s time, sweetheart.” 

You’ve just finished rebandaging your ankle and are deliberating between arguing more or just sitting in silent opposition when you hear the rattle of Sirius’ keys. Remus rolls his eyes (out of habit at this point, you think) when he kicks in the door. 

“You’d think I was eighty, hungry at five thirty in the after…whoa.” Sirius trails off as he senses the sober mood in your home, and his eyebrows pinch when his gaze lands on you. “What’s got you so riled up, lovebug?” 

James hugs you tighter to his side, impervious to your sulking as he rubs your upper arm roughly. “She’s gotta go to the doctor,” he says. 

“Aw.” Sirius pouts, coming the rest of the way towards you to drop a kiss on your head. “Ankle’s not doing so well?” 

“If anything, it’s getting worse,” Remus sighs. 

“Is not,” you snipe back. 

“It’s not going to be as bad as you think, baby.” Sirius squats in front of you, taking your hand in his. “Let’s just go now, yeah? Get it over with.” 

Even Remus looks surprised at that. “Alright,” he says after a second, “yeah, that’s a good idea.” He stands, and so does Sirius, pulling your hand upwards with him like you’ve any likelihood of following it. 

You look at James for help. Even he seems resolved, but his eyes reveal more sympathy for your plight than the others’. “I know you’re nervous,” he says softly, hand brushing your cheek to slot a strand of hair behind your ear, “but do you really think we’re gonna let anything bad happen to you?” 

You sigh, and when James stands you let him take you with him, his arm around your waist to support some of your weight as you limp out to the car. Sirius forgoes his usual place in the passenger seat to sit with you and James in the back, the both of them providing silent support by way of half-hugs (James) and a steadying hand on your leg (Sirius). It’s very difficult to be cross with people who are showering you in affection, but you manage. You sit sandwiched between them with an immovable frown on your face, spiraling deeper and deeper into your thoughts until suddenly you look up and the car has stopped. 

Remus has turned around to face you from the driver’s seat. “C’mon, dove,” he says, and you notice that you’re the only one with your seatbelt still on. You take a breath, finding that your throat has become clogged with tears you didn’t feel coming on. You bite down on your lower lip, hard. 

“Angel,” James sighs, and your guilt for putting them through this almost rivals your anger at them for putting you through this. He unbuckles your seatbelt himself, hauling you up against his side. Your face is hot with shame and unshed tears. “It’s a thousand times worse in your head than it’s actually gonna be, my love.” 

Remus looks genuinely apologetic as he reaches over from the front seat, rubbing your knee. “I hate that you’re having to do something that makes you so anxious, sweetheart, but you’re in pain. We can’t make it better all by ourselves.” You meet his eyes, and he pushes his advantage, giving your knee a little squeeze. “Let’s just go inside, I’m sure it won’t take long. Okay, darling?” 

“Okay,” you assent, following Sirius out of the car and allowing him to tug your arm over his shoulders, helping you hop towards the door. “Sorry I’m making this so difficult.” 

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for,” Sirius insists, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. James and Remus are both quick to agree. They’re laying on the affection rather thick, and any other time you’d be irritated by the delicate flower treatment, but right now you appreciate it. “We all have things that freak us out a bit,” Sirius goes on. “Remember when James saw that baby snake behind our place?”

“Ugh.” James shudders. “We agreed not to talk about that. I still think we should move.” 

Sirius grins at his boyfriend’s misery, lightly bumping your hip with his. “There you have it, lovely. We’ve all got our things. So don’t worry about this, yeah? We’ll stay with you, and afterward we can hunt down Remus’ comfort chocolate.” 

Remus huffs but doesn’t protest. Later, he’ll bring the chocolate out of hiding to give it to you himself.

[qqueenofhades]

Their not going to get away with banning porn. They didn't think it through.

Religious right-wing fascists have spent literally all of history trying to ban porn, outlaw certain types of sex, legislate and punish what people are and are not allowed to do in the bedroom, so forth and etcetera. This also has a long, LONG history in America, in keeping with MAGA's desire to take us back to the economic and social climate of the 1870s (look up the Comstock Acts). In the exceedingly, EXCEEDINGLY unlikely event a full-bore "porn ban" was ever to pass and be signed into law, it would instantly get the bejesus sued out of it by about eighty different organizations and entities on First Amendment grounds, and given that there is long legal precedent for such challenges about "obscene material," said lawsuit would very likely win.

As such, I'm not worried about that so much as the braindead online leftist chorus that will immediately start up with some drivel about how Fascists Trying To Ban Porn Is Aktually A Good Thing, Because Sex is Yuckicky and We Totally Aren't Puritan Reactionaries With The Name Changed. They will be affectedly or genuinely ignorant of the fact that when Republicans roll out their latest Anti Porn Crusade TM, they have no intention of actually stopping porn. What they really want is to target queer and trans identities, women, any material that opposes Trump, or anything else that can fit under the conveniently flexible label of "obscenity." They want to ban mainstream romance novels from public libraries and arrest people (read: women) from reading or writing it. They want to criminalize queer people's existence as "harmful to children," since that's also what they've done for literally forever, and lay the groundwork for outlawing any queer expression in public. They have very clearly stated their intention to attack birth control, contraception, and no-fault divorce, the next step after outlawing abortion, as part of their ever-more-crazed crusade to likewise force women back to the 1870s (see above) and have no options but to stay at home married and pregnant. They have not been particularly subtle about this.

As such, any Republican "porn ban," however useless it ends up being, will receive scads of support from said online leftists vigorously insisting that it is somehow a good thing, for reasons. This will once again provide it cover and reframe it as Actually A Righteous Attack On Those Nasty Wrong Sex Havers (Ew). It will get derailed as people blubber insane straw men arguments about Why Can't We Just Punish Evil Sex Crime Doers! All of what it actually means will be ignored, swept under the carpet, or idiotically defended. And that is yet again the problem, because there is literally no Good Censorship that magically leads to a More Morally Pure Society. The people who think that are just as deluded as the Republicans, and it will once more make everything far more stupid than it need to be. Then again, this is the stupidest timeline, but still.

[damnfandomproblems]

Problem 7009:

I disagree with this.

This morning, I read a pretty insightful post about how someone decided to stop posting their fanfiction because they were getting no comments (after the overall amount of comments had steadily declined over time across their fics, as with so many of us), then they discovered a discord server full of people were gushing and praising one of their fics on a server, using all that energy up, boomeranging it all back and forth... but not a single person had given feedback to the author. So all the feedback might as well not have existed to the author.

And it got me thinking about how, on a fundamental level, fandom is about sharing your enthusiasm about something with other people, discussing, praising, ranting, glomping (sorry), etcetera. Authors are a big part of this. They're heavy lifters in a way, they spend hours, months, years of their lives writing. But people are so used to clicking a button for something juicy, burning through it like a cloud of locusts, then going right back to the others, and never even acknowledging the author exists beyond the slightest, bare-bones passing thought. It's like people don't understand authors aren't just content creators. We're not here chasing stats, we're here because we are trying to engage with fandom but instead of posting a ramble or something, we're posting a story as the first move.

Meet us there. Don't leave us in the dark. You don't owe anyone anything, but there's been a social contract of sorts in fandom for decades, and I don't want it to die.

A heart, commenting that you're kudosing again, there are so many things that can go a long way without using up spoons. Even just pre-write a couple comments to paste if you stumble upon a fic you enjoyed.

If you see a fic without any comments, please keep all this stuff in mind.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[krahk]

Blood for Ruin

Part One : Part Two : Part Three : Part Four : Part Five

Masterlist

Alastor x OFC/Reader (no use of Y/N)

18+

Part Six

(Or, Alastor, snakes, and cannibals - oh my!)

The next morning Charlie wasn’t downstairs, and Vaggie looked like something kicked her dog. The vibes of the hotel were totally off. You had tried to ask the woman what had happened when she and Charlie had their meeting, but she was too upset to talk. Angel Dust and Husk were confused about what happened as well, and it was impossible to get to Charlie, she had barricaded herself in her room.

After 3 or 4 days you finally had enough and knocked incessantly on Charlie’s door, before she finally opened the door, eyes red and horns coming out of her head slightly. She looked like she had been crying all night, eyes puffy and bloodshot. You held up a bottle of wine and two glasses, shaking them back and forth. “Hey you! I think you need a break from…whatever it is you’re doing in here.”

Charlie opened her mouth, likely to tell you to go away, but you continued quickly, “We don’t even have to talk, but I think sometimes it's good not to be alone.” Charlie hesitated, her body slightly rocking back while her eyes went up in thought, debating on what she should do. She pushed the door open and walked towards her bed and sat crisscrossed on it. You closed the door with a flick of your hips and joined the princess on her bed, passing her a glass while you fought with the cork. Once the two of you had wine poured, it took a few sips before Charlie opened up.

”Have you ever had someone you love lie to you?” You snorted at the question, before realising the hurt on the woman’s face.

“Yes, for sure yes, probably everyone I’ve ever loved. They all do. But I also lived with humans forever, and I’m sorry to break it to you but a lot of them think that little lies to save someone from a little hurt now grows into something massive that hurts a lot later. Unfortunately, you only learn not to do it from experience. Is this person who lied to you…usually a liar? Or are you confident they aren’t still lying to you?”

Her eyes became glossy with tears as she swirled her wine glass. “I don’t know. I thought I knew this person but it turns out they were lying about everything that they were. I’ve spent the last few years of my life with them and now I’m not sure any of it was real.”

Okay, she was clearly talking about Vaggie. Because everyone else was pretty much new to her life, this would have to be a delicate conversation. What on earth was she lying about? You had to tread lightly and be vague, but hopefully helpful. “Do you think they lied to hurt you? Like wanting to make sure you hurt?” You asked. Good, steady start there. Charlie thought for a second. “I don’t think so?”.

“Okay, is it a new lie or an old lie?” No thinking required, Charlie responded with “Old lie. Right away lie. Like as soon as I met them lie.” Hmm. You took a second to think about your experiences, wanting to give good advice to her, as she deserved it entirely.

“Were they scared? Like look back on your first meeting.” You tried to remember if Vaggie and Charlie had ever talked about their meeting, but all you knew for sure was that they have met around 3 years ago during extermination. Charlie released a large sigh, and a tear fell down her cheek. “I mean, probably? There was a lot going on.”

“Okay, and did they know who you were? Like, not your name, but your position, status, etcetera?” It was good the demon was opening up, her voice sounded hoarse from crying and a lack of use. You filled up Charlie’s glass which was emptied from a large gulp. “No. No idea.” You nodded at her response and met her eyes with a soft smile.

“Okay, that sounds to me that the lie first happened because they were scared. Lies grow, and lies from fear only make a person more scared. It sounds like they might have been unsure on how to tell you the truth, because whenever the time was right they didn’t want you to hurt - probably because they loved you. Love makes us complicated and stupid, Charlie. It’s one of the reasons why it doesn’t make any sense, and it’s also why it exists in all factions of life and death. You can probably thank your dad for that actually, free will has a huge part in it.”

Charlie gave you a strained smile in return, but it was clear she was still unsure. “I’m not telling you to forgive right away, but if this is the first person who has lied to you in your life so far, that’s pretty good. People obviously try to be the best version of themselves around you - they can’t help it. That’s why it’s great of you to try and do this program! Nobody wanted to let you down, you’re too pure a soul. Especially down here,” You laughed, and gave her a rib nudge with your elbow. Silence took over as the two of you finished off the bottle. Eventually Charlie started pulling at the threads on her comforter, and you took that as a sign to give her some space.

”Hey, I hope you feel a bit better, I’m just a floor away from you if you ever need to chat, or paint each other's nails…hooves,” You corrected, glancing at her feet. Charlie laughed lightly, and gave you a smile. Not quite as big as you were used to from the woman, but still brighter than when you first came in. “I’ll let you get back to moping, sometimes laying in bed crying and being sad is therapeutic. It reminds you what makes you happy. I hope this…helped?” You inquired. Charlie nodded her head and said her thanks, crawling back under her covers.

You collected the glasses and empty bottle and tiptoed out of the room, closing the door quietly as you left. When you had returned to the kitchen to put the items in the sink, you caught the last bit of whatever broadcast Alastor was on. You made tea while the instrumental song played, filling the kitchen with a comforting sound.

Alastor ended his show with a polite goodbye, your tea was steeping and you thought about the conversation you just had . You felt okay about the advice you gave Charlie, and honestly hoped it was helpful to her. With less than a month before the guaranteed extermination, everyone needed to be in their best headspace. As you tried to go out the swing door it opened abruptly, knocking your tea out of your hand, and smacking you into the nose, resulting in teary eyes and your hands covering your face as you grimaced in pain and groaned from the impact. The cup shattered on the ground and tea splattered everywhere.

Cursing, you started to look down to help with the nose bleed, and a black and red hand came into view, holding a handkerchief. You grabbed it and pressed it into your face as you slowly rose your eyes up to see Alastor standing there, matching handkerchief against his own nose. He gave a disgruntled hmm as he looked down at you. You backed up back to a stool and sat down, spinning to put your elbows on the counter to keep pressure on your face.

Alastor had simply vanished his microphone and walked over to the kettle, which was still warm. He began to fix himself a tea and held up the kettle asking silently if you needed a new cup. Politely accepting his offer, he started to make you one as well. In a moment the two of you were seated opposite one another, nursing tea and letting the pain on your face diminish.

After snapping away the mess on the floor, he had conjured some sort of newspaper and was reading it, sipping his tea politely. You held the warm cup between your hands and found yourself constantly drifting your eyes to his person. He truly was unlike anything or anyone you had ever met, there was something simply fascinating about his character. The features that once scared you for being unusual now made you linger about how wonderfully unique they were. While his smile when wide was still spooky, there were a few times you caught him with a real smile. Like when Mimzy popped in, or whenever you noticed him and Nifty speaking with one another on their own. Even now, as he read the paper, his smile was small, but seemingly genuine. Like he was just decompressing from a hard day at work.

You glanced up to his face to realise he was staring back at you. When your eyes connected a sharp jolt of shock ran through you. How long had he watched you staring at him? Hopefully just a second. Maybe you could blame disassociation and staring into the void causing the uncomfortable staring. However, where you thought would be anger, or disapproval, was just curious acknowledgment. You both openly stared at each other, and somehow it wasn’t quite as awkward as it had been in the past. It was like a mutual new discovery, both just looking to learn or understand the creature in front of you.

Suddenly the door swung open so hard it hit the wall, and Vaggie had entered, clearly on a mission the two of you watched the woman scramble some food together before leaving the kitchen in a rush. She looked just as bad as Charlie did. You turned your head to meet Alastor’s gaze once more, his eyes already fixated on you. You coughed into your hand and realised your tea had cooled down significantly. How long had you two stared at one other? You rose up and intended to say goodnight, but Alastor had reached over to grab your cup, put it in the sink and turned around with a small bow and offered his arm to you.

“Would you care for an escort madam?” You laughed at his ‘performance’ voice, accepting his offer. The two of you headed up the stairs in silence, but you were thrilled that the two of you were capable of being in a silence other than awkward. This was a huge development as far as you were concerned. He walked you to your door as you unlocked it and turned around to face him while you opened the door. As you began to say goodnight, you noticed a small blush on his face before you felt the familiar burn across your own. Did he blush first this time? Usually it was you, right? You stuttered out a thank you, dipped your head down a bit just as he had taken a small step forward, resulting in your ears brushing past his chin, causing both of you to shudder. Blushes now bright, you repeated your thanks.

“Thank you for the tea, Alastor. And the escort. A true gentleman. ”You curtseyed lightly. He nodded at your words, putting a fist to his lips to cough lightly and break the strange tension that had suddenly built up between the two of you.

“A gentleman never leaves a lady in the dark, darling. Sleep well.’’ Before stepping backwards towards his own door, turning around on his heel to go through the threshold of his own room. As you closed your own door and began your nightly routine, you went over the strange night and moments just shared with the Radio Demon. What was up with the sudden flip in behaviour? Was this a part of his payback? And if so, why did it feel like a jolt of arousal surged through you when your ears hit his chin? Was that you, or his?

And these were the thoughts that plagued you before sleep, resulting in a restless night indeed.

After a few days (and Angel nosing about) the lie had finally spread through the hotel. Vaggie was an ex-exterminator, which explained why Charlie was so burdened with grief. Terribly discovered via Adam in Heaven, right after the Seraphim’s had decided plausibility that a soul could be redeemed. It was obvious Charlie had taken it like a punch to the gut. Still, though this was a peculiar situation in general, it did not explain why Lucifer, AKA the unknown number, was calling you first thing on a weekday morning. You were in bed, still half-awake, while the obvious genetic contributor to Charlie’s speed talking and manic tangents was bombarding you with all sorts of questions about the girl. You let him get all he had to say out of him before responding, hoping everything would catch up to your brain.

”-and that’s why I’m calling you because I know girls talk canyoutellmeanythingaboutwhatisgoingon??” He expelled a large gust of air from his lungs that had clearly been building during his rant, and you waited a couple of seconds before responding groggily.

“Lemme get this straight-”

“Uh-Huh!”

“Charlie isn’t responding to you, so you’ve called your way through the hotel, but I’m the only one who answered,”

“…Yes”,

“And you’re expecting me to just break whatever trust I’ve built with her to tell you what she’s feeling?”

A pause. “Um, yeeess?” He could tell you were unimpressed with his remark, and you could imagine the face he was making through the phone. You heard a soft slap, the sound of someone hitting his own face, which was well deserved.

“Yea, sir, Mr…Morningstar Devil sir, what you’re suggesting is a huge breach of trust to someone who is trying to deal with that exact thing from another close person to her. You’re just going to have to wait until she reaches out. She probably knows you’ve called and messaged her, and that alone is enough for her to know that you care.”

Silence.

“I promise, as a girl with my own daddy issues, forcing yourself into her life is not a great idea. It’ll likely push her away because she’ll feel like you’re trying to say she can’t figure this out on her own, which is exactly what she needs to do right now. Do I make sense?”

A sigh came out, and he hummed through the phone. “Stop pouting sir, you’re a bit above that, I think.”

”Uh-pfft, ah- rude. I am not pouting!”

“Mmhmm. Sure my guy. How about, I tell you what I know she does like, and you can have it delivered to the hotel, or someone can bring it to her door, a kind gesture can go a long way. Also, it is not an invasion of privacy.”

”Ah. So perhaps I shouldn’t tell you I’m outside the hotel?”

Oh for absolute shits sake. “You’re joking, right? Ha-ha? Funny guy?” Fingers crossed, but for the king of demons you could tell he was pretty terrible at lying.

“I won’t tell you then, but maybe don’t look outside. At least for another like, 10 minutes until I’m out of sight, god what was I thinking I’m an idiot- Hey! Why don’t you just show me what she likes? Maybe I’ll see why she’s so eager to save these unfortunate souls.” He was excited now. Could one say no to the devil? Should you even ask? “I mean…I guess?” You answered hesitantly, kind of hoping he would pick up on the not so subtle tone of someone who really didn’t want to go.

”Oh good! I was worried you would say no. To the Devil. The King of Hell. Lord of the Pride Ring” Ah yes, one does in fact not say no to the devil. You groaned inwardly, allowing a soft sigh out. “I’ll be down in a second, I have to get dressed.”

“Yay!”

Slamming your room door while hopping on one foot trying to get the second shoe on your foot you came a little too close to the wall and bumped into it, making a photo on it clatter loudly. This resulted in Alastors door opening up. He took in your appearance, nice but not too nice with a simple white cotton dress featuring a modest hemline, thin straps on your shoulders and a full circle skirt that ended right above your knees.

You were finally successful in slipping on your short red boot with a white toe & heel, which just edged the outfit into something a little fancier. You stood up straight and rubbed your elbow, the main victim of your impact with the wall. You laughed, slightly embarrassed that he caught the tail end of another clumsy moment, which did nothing for the worry the two of you had with basic survival in Hell. He gestured to your person with his microphone, eyebrow raised as he questioned your attire. For one who wore all black leisure wear most days, this was obviously a ‘going out’ look.

Ah, yes. Lucifer wasn’t Husk, but surely a safe person to walk around hell with, right? “Mr. Morningstar…the King? Lucifer?” What the hell were you supposed to call him? Both of Alastors brows raised at the mention of his name but he allowed you to continue, “Mr whatever he is. He wants to get Charlie something to cheer her up. But I think the both of us can agree that he probably isn’t the best to go grab her something on a whim. He asked for my help, and I’m pretty sure ‘yes’ or ‘yes sir’ were the only two acceptable answers for the ruler of Hell.” You shrugged your shoulders, waiting for Alastors reaction.

You expected snarky comments about Lucifer, you did not expect him to grip his microphone so hard his knuckles would be white if his hands weren’t black and a sharp, thin smile of disapproval. He was easier to read when he was mad, so you picked up on this vibe immediately.

“Is that so?” His voice slightly above condescending, “And he asked our little lost Doe for help? Our newest acquisition of the hotel? Out of all of Hell in general? Peculiar!” You made a tight lipped face, frowning in return.

“Alastor, I’m the only one who answered the phone. So really, I’m the last one who picked up. Trust me, I’m not overly pleased with it but I feel like I can’t say no. He doesn’t seem the type to take it very well.”

”And if I were to say you cannot go?” He remarked, looking towards the stairs now.

”Uhh. I am…not sure? I guess tell him that you don’t want me going and let him brew why I would listen to what you wanted? Again Alastor, he doesn’t seem like the most understanding person when it comes to not going with his plans. He is the King of Hell, and ‘Lord of the Pride’ realm.” The last bit said with a bit of a lofty attitude paired with finger quotes.

Alastor was clearly processing your statement, and it was hard for him to admit you were likely correct. What a pain. Lucifer was an absolute moron, unfit to be a father, unfit to be king. But he was top dog right now, and Alastor was not. “Perhaps I will join the two of you, to ensure no distracting detours take place. I am concerned his appearance will garner unwanted attention.”

Oh, that was a good point, and you let Alastor know. You invited him to come down, grabbing an apple on the way out the door. You were squinting your eyes looking around for the King, where you spotted a very white snake wearing a top hat wrapped around the gate. He was not one for blending in, not at all.

“There you are!” The snake said, slithering to the ground to come beside you. “You certainly like to make a man wait!” Your eyes rolled, and Alastor coughed, cutting into the conversation. The snake hissed, unimpressed with his presence. “Why is he here? I thought you were helping me?”

“Look, Alastor has known Charlie longer than me, and he is interested in making sure we find the right thing for her. His knowledge on this matter is invaluable.” What the Hell was going on. Was Lucifer jealous?

“Well, I’m not happy about it, always inserting himself where he isn’t wanted!” Alastor was behind the two of you, Lucifer slithering until the three of you made it down the hill out of the hotel’s view. You looked at him and scrunched your face a bit. He was a lot to take in. Alastor was right, he would likely bring unwanted attention. “Um…sir, do you have a disguise? Charlie will probably hear on the news that Lucifer is shopping for his daughter, this would probably be best as a surprise?” Please change form, please change form, please -

Oh thank god. He changed into a black goat-man hybrid thing, goat eyes and all. You noticed his horns in their natural state were larger than Alastors, Yang the two of you made eye contact with mutual understanding. Overcompensation. You coughed out a laugh, and grumbled out any remaining chuckles at his expense. Alastor, as always, needed to get an edge in however and had no issue pointing it out. “Making up for something? Those are mighty large horns for someone who has such a fine, delicate physicality like yours.” Alastors face was filled with glee, the fire in his eyes lighting up Lucifers. They stared at each other and you could feel the static from their clashing gazes.

“Well, I don’t think you need to be concerned, I am the King of Hell, after all. I think that means I can have big horns. Big, beautiful, horns. Sorry that your horns or…er, antlers aren’t as impressive. But you make them work for you and your ridiculous ears!” Alright, that was enough now, you needed to interject this ridiculous headbutting or else it would go on forever.

“Al~right! One, I take offence to the ear remark, we didn’t have a choice. Two, whip ‘em out for the world to see so we can put a period in this pissing contest, and three, I’m starving, this apple has a worm in it because of course it does, and bet your ass I am going to be the scariest damn thing on this street unless I get food in me so let's get going.”

You had crossed your arms and tapped your little boot on the street, thankfully with a well timed growl from your stomach. Lucifer scowled and turned to stomp down the street, barely containing his hissy fit. Alastor couldn’t help but smile at your outburst, you were quite adorable when you tried to boss people around. However one thing had confused him -

“My dear, what am I to ‘whip out’?” He asked as he gestured for you to start walking, him matching your stride and sticking by your side. Oh Jesus Murphy no. He was, like, a century old. This wasn’t new slang, was it? A couple of times you had to educate him on a few newer idioms, generally funny little cute things regarding stuff that took place long after he died, but this was just…not great. “Uuuh. Hmm. How can I put this without bursting into flames?”

You pondered, tapping your chin and mentally patting yourself on the back for not having done so already, “Think about what is required for one to ‘piss’ and perhaps how that could be used to measure such a thing and compare it to perhaps another persons…thing?” Oh such a good beginning only to tank it at the end. Alastor only hmm’d at your statement, glancing at his reflection in the windows as you walked by, Lucifer still ahead of the two of you kicking stones like a toddler.

“Well, I generally do enjoy entering in contests I know I will win, however I am not interested in learning what divine punishment may come upon me for utterly destroying the Devil’s self confidence. Let us consider him lucky that I am in a charitable mood this morning.” He was looking ahead, but his smile was certainly one of the cat that got the canary. You laughed, earning a small chuckle in return, and accepted his crooked arm by weaving your own and meeting his elbow with yours.

The two of you walked behind Lucifer as he tried to order the two of you to walk faster, he was in a hurry. Alastors grip was strong, and he shook his head as you tried to pick up the pace. It wouldn’t be until later that night that in no uncertain terms, Alastor definitely had just told you he was absolutely packing down under.

Spending the morning and early afternoon babysitting Lucifer was one of the worst jobs you ever had. He was all about grand statements, shiny, expensive things. Nothing about the things he wanted to get would interest Charlie. She would certainly say thank you and accept it to not hurt his feelings, but it wouldn’t mean anything to her.

Eventually his steam wore out, and while Alastor was occupied window shopping, bored of your many questions to this royal pain in the ass. “Sir, we’ve been over this. What do you know she likes. Even if it isn’t something we can get.”

“I told you! I only remember things she liked as a kid…and even then I don’t have faith she still likes to eat crayons and cut her own hair.” He sat down on the curb, head in his hands. “I really am a bad father, aren’t I? God, how did I think this would work.” You sat down beside him, patting his back, mindlessly offering support. A group of bull demons walked by and cat-called you, resulting in you rolling your eyes and Lucifer snapping them into bugs. Ah, to have such power over douchebags would be wonderful.

“Really, I don’t know why she wants to redeem some of these people. I understand why she loves you all so much, you’re all alright for sinners. Well, most of you…” He trailed off, looking to Alastors direction. His face held disgust before you realised what he had said.

“That’s it! Oh my god, I have an idea!” You were excited at what was going to happen. “can you conjure anything?” You asked the forlorn angel.

“Pretty much, yea. Living things is a generally a no, why?” You rattled off your idea, Lucifer's eyes brightening excitedly and jumping up with joy with the prospect of creating Charlie’s gift. Why had none of you thought of him making something until now? You relayed the gift to Alastor, and even he was unable to deny the predicted success of your idea. Lucifer said he would need to workshop it, but it wouldn’t take him too long to finish it. You sent him a few things via text message before he disappeared, clearly off to work his magic. A text hit you back right after he left, where he thanked you and left a winky emoji, and a heart. The man was a menace, for sure. Alastor looked at your phone while you responded with a thumbs up and tilted your head up to your left side to meet Alastor’s gaze. He didn’t seem too pleased with the familiarity Lucifer appeared to have with you, but honestly - no way, no how. Lucifer was just…full of love, mostly. Charlie had to get it from somewhere and if her mother could ditch her so easily you doubted she got it from that side.

“I think it’ll be adorable, I’m excited to see it complete. I hope he pays attention to the pictures.” You were breaking the silence, unsure of how the rest of the day would go now that you and Alastor had been left alone. He nodded before asking you to join him to meet a friend. He said he needed to catch up with an old friend, but you might enjoy her (her?) company as well. So, having faith it was harmless, the two of you walked towards his mystery destination, enjoying each other's company, honestly.

When your face paled at the sign reading ‘Cannibal Town’, Alastor laughed at you. “Re~lax! They are perfectly polite here, they do not simply pounce and consume! They prefer one to be dead before consumption. And you, my dear, are very much alive.” He still linked arms with you and pulled you close to keep you comfortable, as some of the locals licked your lips as the two of you walked by. Finally, when the two of you approached a large gazebo in the heart of town, Alastor announced himself to the actual tallest woman you had met. Impeccably dressed, as well. Her name was Rosie, and she was hilarious. It was clear she and Alastor had a long standing friendship filled with mutual respect. The woman had the two of you served with tea and while seated, took her time grilling you with questions.

”Now Alastor, is this the little thorn in your side? The other half to your coin? She’s an absolute doll!” She clapped her hands towards you and smiled wide. Alastor confirmed her theory, and that was when you knew Rosie was to be trusted completely. If Alastor spoke such secrets with her he clearly had nothing to worry about here. It was nice to be around such generous and lively company after your past few hours with a selfish baby. Rosie ate up a large part of your afternoon right into the evening, before politely wishing you a safe trip home.

“Wonda-ful to meet you Darling! Visit me anytime, I know he’s a handful!” Rosie shouted as she waved you off, resulting in you laughing at Alastors expense. ”She’s wonderful Alastor, thank you for introducing me.” Alastor hummed in acknowledgement, nodding in confirmation to your statement. “Rosie is a safe place if your safety is ever compromised. She was here before me so we have known each other for a long while. It was no accident I wanted the two of you to meet.”

You nodded, knowing he was more concerned for his own safety than yours. You weren’t hurt by the knowledge, not really, but for some reason the thought brought your mood down. And unfortunately the two of you were getting much better at picking up on each other's moods lately, and he remarked on it, stopping to look at you with what might have been concern, but was more likely frustration. “Have I said something untowards?” He asked, politely waiting for you to answer.

“No, I was just thinking that…hopefully Lucifer does a good job on Charlie’s things. I really want it to turn out, she really deserves it.” His silence and narrowed eyes let you know he was aware you were hiding something. But it had been a wonderful day, and he allowed the urge to call you out to pass. You yawned suddenly, surprised that you could be tired even though it was still light out. “Well, we should continue my dear. I suggest we take the express!” Alastor exclaimed, grabbing you very close, hands on both sides of you, bringing you close. Then suddenly you were absorbed by his shadows and it felt as if you were sinking but being pulled out at the same time. By the time the world around you stopped moving you realised that he used his shadow magic to spit the two of you into the hallway between your hotel rooms.

Not entirely unpleasant but not really something you were looking to use as a main form of travel anytime soon. Alastor walked you the 6 steps to your door and the two of you had another minor staring contest, the silence thick, but your heartbeat pounding in your head. Or perhaps it was Alastors heartbeat, as he was still quite close to you. “I commend you on your brainchild from earlier, why I do believe it is something that even Lucifer Moriningstar can accomplish!” You opened your door and smirked at his comment.

“You better be careful, you’re essentially insulting Charlie by proxy, that is her father after all, I think we both learned how similar they can be today.” Alastors familiar laugh was followed up by radio laughter, something he only saved for what you figured was ‘true funny’. “Have a good night Alastor!” You slowly entered, holding the handle behind you as you thought about a foolish fantasy. It was so quiet, and you turned your head back around, only to meet the Radio Demons glowing eyes. Awe fuck me! You should have just walked in and shut the door like a smart person.

Alastor was suddenly right behind you, your head still turned around so sharply that you body had started to make the same turn. Alastor whispered into your ears, and it made your whole body break out in a sensual chill. “I believe you owe me something, darling.” He said in a low, breathy manner. His voice shot straight down to your core. Your jaw, opening and closing in awe, had him interrupting your thoughts once more. “A thank you would be grand, considering I was on my best behaviour!”

Holy shit were you glad he followed up his statement with what he wanted right away, because your mind went straight into the gutter”. A small mouthed ‘O’ fell on your lips and you turned your body around so you were facing him entirely now. You did a small curtsy, and said your polite and proper goodbyes. He bowed slightly before grabbing your chin and filled most of the gap, leaning in softly saying “good girl” basically right into your ear. Was that a moan, did you moan? Judging by the insane smile that filled his face, you had indeed. He backed his head up slightly to catch your eyes, and the two of you sported twin blushes and deep breathing. Somehow in the tete a tete happening between the two of you, you had grabbed the lapel of his coat while he still held your chin in place. He was so close to you it felt as if you were breathing in each other's air. You were certain it was only a moment but time felt as if it had slowed down. Your lips were just a hair apart now, and you could surely feel each other's faces burning. What was happening?

When a door down the hall clicked you both shot back from one another, Alastor wiping his hand down the front of his jacket as he walked backwards to his room, nodding a hello to Angel Dust as he stomped down the stairs. You said nothing, focusing on settling your heart rate, clutching one hand above your heart. And once again the two of you were alone, but the moment had passed. You gave him a small smile and said a quiet goodnight as you went into your room and closed the door, forcing yourself to not look back. Once the door was closed, you leaned against it, head propped against it as you looked up to the ceiling. What was happening to you?

Outside the door it sounded like Angel had returned, as a string of angry italian was being shouted in the hallways. There was a knock at your door. You opened it wide, expecting to see the tall spider demon. “Ang-“ suddenly there was a hand fisted into your hair, another wrapping around your waist, and Alastor had captured your mouth with his, enveloping you entirely.

The impact had your heart nearly explode with shock and your body surged with arousal immediately. The kiss was strong, desperate, and long. Seconds, moments, minutes -who cared. The two of you fought your lips against another, him inserting his long tongue into your mouth, gripping you tighter as he almost bent you in half, Alastor kissed you like a man possessed. You moaned into his mouth as he swallowed you whole. Your hands had come up to his collar to pull him in harder, and nothing but sucking and wet lips were heard for a moment. As quickly as it happened it ended, Alastor straightening out his jacket as he looked you over. You could imagine how tousled you looked. The overstimulation of the physical connection had the two of you breathing hard.

”Well, that certainly went a touch different than I expected,” Alastor started, licking his lips of the blood present. Had one of you bit a lip? Or bit the other's lip? Oh god, what the hell just happened. “My apologies for losing control of myself there dear, but usually a gentleman offers a lady a kiss goodnight after a night out.” He bowed to you again, his professional gentlemanly persona returned. You only nodded in agreement and he took his leave, giving a quick wave as he shut his door behind him.

Standing there for a few minutes easily you just couldn’t get over that your pussy was throbbing, and the sensation was not letting up. In fact, it felt like it was building up. Was he? Your eyes flew wide open as you slammed the door and jumped into bed, stripping your clothes off rapidly before laying under the covers and allowing the quick buildup of desire take over you. You were wet, soaked, and your hips were shifting in an attempt to add friction to the mix, but you were close enough just thinking about what the man across the hall was doing. Because of you. You finally placed your middle finger onto your clit and hissed at the contact. You were so hot with desire your hips bucked once pressure was applied. In return you could feel a second wave of buildup happening, and you moved your finger to match the pace. As you pinched one nipple to a hard nub and pulled at it you came, and you came hard. An animalistic groan escaped you as your orgasm took over, sending a shock through your system. Your body felt like it was burning from the inside out.

As your hand came to rest on the bed beside your hip, you found yourself staring up at the ceiling again. You had just had the most intense mutual masturbation orgasm with a demon. In the next room. On another level due to the blood magic the two of you were wrapped up in. You yawned, deciding it really didn’t matter at that very moment, you had eternity to focus on this strange path life had taken you on.

You bundled up in the blankets, body spent and mind exhausted, smiling as you drifted off to sleep.

____________

Remember, slow burn.

Also, I want to thank @hazelfoureyes for inspiring me to materialize my brainchild! Read her stuff, it’s honestly the best. Like, I’ve re-read it 6 times already the best. All of it.

@queermaxwooo @drawings-by-meh @sirens-and-moonflowers @looking1016 @mo-0-o @blakeaha @mutifandomkid @ministarheaven @nightingale0603 @loadedwafflefries @rizzscary @bishiglomper @vividachromatic @fluffy-koalala @mkaella @readergirlstuff @xalygatorx @midorichoco @alastorssimp @xalygatorx

[bonesofacrow]

one of the things that i love the most about the current cassandra cain batgirl run (2024) is the way that the writers are handling her characterization

(and im talking up to the most 5th issue so slight spoiler warning here)

i think its good to see the development in cass' character away from the sort of idolization of batman, and the acceptance of other influences into her life. she started the run with a perspective that drew from all of the members of the batfam, which is seen in that one full page spread where she talks about being "barbara's will, stephanie's heart, tim's wit" and so on and so forth (3rd issue) and an emphasis on her choice to be batman's daughter and his "pride". she didn't accept lady shiva as her mother, and the run spends a lot of the time discussing how different cassandra is from her mother. but then by the fifth issue, she's operating with her mother, and is willing to listen to her and even try to save her from the unburied. she accepted the presence of her mother in her life while still understanding that her mother wasn't exactly a good person. and then, in the end of the fourth issue, the very last panels have her swapping between the questions "what would batman do" and "watch would my mother do". so she's separating herself from batman.

and i think this is good for a couple of reasons. the main one is that cassandra cain, in this run specifically, spends most of her time acting with the intention of making batman proud, of mirroring his actions. she mentions that gotham is her city, she refuses to kill, etcetera. and none of this is bad, not at all, but it does show exactly the problems that most female comic characters (female characters in general) have when it comes to being an individual. she was more of an extension of batman than she was batgirl. she was more of a replica of every other member of the batfam than she was her own individual. and then her mother is brought in, and she doesn't need to be an extension of batman anymore, because she realizes her other influences.

but another reason that her mother's presence is good is because it shows that she doesn't NEED to be a replica to accept a person's input. cassandra cain doesn't agree with her mother at all, especially not in the first couple of issues - her mother leaves people to die, is willing to kill, has the entire cult thing going on. her mother works with people that cassandra doesn't like. but she and her mother talk, and she comes to find out that her mother has her her own issues in terms of identity some of which include CARING ABOUT CASS. and the comic run isnt done yet, and it's perfectly plausible that lady shiva is just straight lying about it to gain cass' trust, but it shows cass that, even when she doesn't agree with people, they can still change her. even when they do cruel things (like leaving cass with her father), they still hold an influence.

so the part i like about the characterization, if it's not gleaned from this really long winded statement, is the acceptance that not all of the things that made cass into cass were good. she had a lot of negative impacts in her life, but she turned into the person she did ANYWAY. and it wasn't just because of batman. she made her own choice to be a good person, and she stuck by it, not because she was batman's daughter, but because she was cassandra cain.

tbh this might not make ANY sense at all but unfortunately my english teacher would not accept an essay about comic book character development. so. it's here now.