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fairene · 3 months

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hello!! i LOVE your work you write the most interesting dynamics and your style always completely sucks me in! i saw you mentioned in the tags that requests were welcome and if it sounds fun, i'd love to read something with lando and a tennis player!reader, not just bc i love tennis lol but also bc it could be interesting to have him with someone who has experienced the same level of pressure. i'd love anything you wrote though!❤️

say less, my love.

pressure / ln4

a/n ⋯ a short pause from the one of your girls dual part. this was a beautiful request, and as a huge challengers enthusiast, i had to put it to paper. thank you so much for the request. also i am aware that the u.s. open takes place in new york, but for simplicity sake, we'll say its in miami.

music ⋯ link

warnings ⋯ no smut, fluff, angst, insecure thoughts, anxiety.

wordcount ⋯ 2.6k (unedited).

“you’re going to do amazing, my love.” lando’s words were soothing as he held you firmly against his chest. it was a saturday night in miami, both of you were dueling your own matches for the weekend. you were in the finals of your tournament held for the US open, whereas he was debuting in the miami grand prix the following afternoon.

your head shifted into his chest, nose burrowing into the fabric of his shirt with a soft hum. you knew he was right, but the pressure waned on you. how could it not? your entire career balanced on your performance, and thousands of people would be watching you. not only were you lando norris’ girlfriend, but also an up and coming star in your own career.

you kissed the fabric of his shirt, knowing the sentiment held little, but he appreciated the gesture regardless. his hand found the back of your head, threading his fingers through your hair. his touch was gentle, kind, one reserved only for you. it was moment’s like these that the pair of you found solitude in one another.

“i know, i just…” you hesitated, lifting your head so your chin rested on the center of his torso. he tightened his hand around your hip, cradling you against the firm shape of his body.

“what, baby?” he said with a soft tone, velvety to your ears. you couldn’t resist him. couldn’t hold anything back from him, despite wanting to spare him the worries you held. the last thing you wanted him to do was worry about you. especially when he had a huge event of his own.

but all he did was worry about you.

day and night he would dream both through the sun and beneath the moonlight of you. you. it was always you that he was concerned about. you, that he searched for atop his podiums. you, that he would attend all your matches when he could.

this was one of the rare events where they overlapped. he would only be there with you in the morning to see you off before your matches. then, you would reconcile with him in the evenings. post race, post tournament. it would be a tough day to manage on your own, but he felt the same way. you were the light to all of his races, the focal point of which he could relax. his anxiety roared in these conditions, but you somehow soothed him at every turn.

he needed you. but you couldn’t be there.

“i want you there.”

his features softened. there was a cloud of guilt brewing a thunderstorm above his head, threatening to rain down tears in your obvious distress. he hated seeing you this way, and most of all, he hated being the one who caused it.

“i know.” his thumb stroked across your cheek. “i would if i could.” you believe him. he was your number one fan, just as you were his. a match made in heaven, one might be able to jest. “‘nd i want you there, tomorrow, with me on the radio.”

you blushed, letting your face drop into the fabric of his sweatshirt. you felt his chest bellow with a deep laugh, centered at his core, letting his lids flutter at your bashful expression. your teeth even went as far as biting at his sweatshirt, which had him grumbling and pulling your hair up into a makeshift ponytail, raising your head to meet his eyes.

“you’ll be the death of me,” he uttered, saying with pure love. your relationship with him was full of complexities, but overall dominated by your fatuous love for one another. the pressures you both face in consequence of your performances…

“you’re going to win tomorrow.” you sat up on his lap, straddling his hips. you were both in your shared bed in the hotel, lounging in your sleepwear in the messed up sheets. tonight was between you two and no one else. lando slammed that ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door the minute the pair of you walked in for the evening. “i can feel it.”

“you think so?” he gulped, both his hands coming to run up the skin of your thighs. you shivered at his touch, but you were determined to keep a clear mind.

“i know so.” you watched his face relax with relief. your words of comfort meant ten times than anyone else's, and you would always give him the truth. its what he loved about you so much. your blatant honesty, your charisma, your ability to power through every obstacle in your life. but he knew just as much as you did that you wouldn’t be able to do any of it without each other. it was one of the many little beautiful things about your relationship.

lando’s anxiety would gnaw at him every chance it got. but since he’s entered a relationship with you, he feels like a fucking king, but he was nothing without his queen.

“don’t know,” he said, breaking the silence. “you’re my lucky charm.”

you rolled your eyes. “you’ve scored points at every race this season,” you pointed out. it was a fact. he was one of the only contending drivers to have such a prosperous season. you were delighted for him. “with or without me there.”

but he didn’t like your excuses. he squeezed your plush thighs beneath his calloused fingers, which had you gasping.

“don’t do that.”

you quirked a brow. “do what?”

“pretend like you don’t mean the world to me.”

you blushed and fell forward on his chest, your head falling into his neck. you giggled against his skin, unable to contain your smile. “stop that,” you insisted, blushing fiercely. a hand of his came to hold the back of your neck in a comforting grip.

“loving you?” you caught his gaze, bleary with love. “i don’t think i can.”

you were up at 5:30 that morning getting ready. lando was still sound asleep, snores being heard from the ensuite bathroom as your brushed your teeth and fixed your appearance. you wore a white tennis dressed, sponsored by fila, and just left when you made your way to the bed.

your hand brushed over lando’s exposed hip, shirtless in the bed with only a pair of boxers. he moaned in his sleep, pulling a pillow closer. but he was wide awake when he realized the pillow was made of feathers, and not you.

“come on, my love.” you said to him in the dark room, looming over him with your hair undone and bright white dress. he turned to face you, sitting up against the headboard. his hands came to rest over his head, stretching.

then he leaned in for a kiss, his hand cupping your cheek. you met him half way, sucking on his lower lip. he groaned, and you felt yourself shift, but couldn’t fall into his trap of desire.

“ah, ah.” you pulled away before his hand came to snatch you down into the bed. “you promised me breakfast.”

he fell back into the bed with disappointment. you laughed to yourself and made your way to the foyeur. you didn’t have to wait long when you heard him shifting and getting ready for the day ahead.

when you arrived to the courts that morning, lando was carrying most of your things. it had you smiling with appreciation, insisting that you could carry your wilson tennis bag. but he refused, saying that you worked too hard for this day to be carrying your own bag. let me help you, and you were sold.

you caught on to how much the crowds began to fill in. you were a sensation. but the notion would consistently fly over your head.

you were tense and lando could see that.

“hey,” his hand came to rest on your back. you leaned into him. “you’re going to do great, baby.”

you sucked in a tight breath. but what if you didn’t? what if, that these set of matches, would damn your career to near ruin? what if you could never be perfect?

your breathing became erratic. lando’s eyes widened, jumping into swift action as he covered your body with his. he backed you into a corner where no one could see the pair of you, and wrapped his hands around your body tightly.

“match me.” he said. the words were so familiar to you. the both of you had discovered a coping mechanism when things got too much, too overwhelming, and too over pressured. you’d fall into each other’s arms and hear one another breathe.

your lip quivered with tears. but you did as you were told.

with an ear pressed to his chest, you could hear the steady beat of his heart. the strength in his muscles. the blood rippling through his veins. most importantly, the rise and fall of his abdomen against your own.

with your thummering heart, you found pace with him. “in and out,” he would soothe, saying into the top of your head where he left kisses in his wake.

he stroked the small of your back, thumb running circles over you. you fell completely into him.

“what if i’m not good enough?”

the words broke him.

“then the world is full of fuckheads, i’ll tell you that.” his tone was firm, but ebbed with softness as he spoke into your scalp. his attempt at humor had you breaking into a soft chuckle. you appreciated him in this moment. “i’d kill all those fuckers, you just tell me who–”

your head broke away with a smile, finger coming to shush him.

“lando!”

“what? it’s true.”

you loved him.

“maybe so,” you reached up to kiss both of his flushed cheeks. “but i want you here. with me.”

his forehead connected with yours.

“you’ll always have me.” he placed his hand over your heart, and you placed yours over his.

“always?”

“always.” he promised.

the matches were flawless. you played to your body’s ultimate limit. you were skating across the base line, the volley line, snapping your shoulder with everything you had for your serves.

“love, all.” the announcer began.

you were up serving first.

this was it.

the final match out of six. whoever won this, won the title.

you thought about lando. you thought about his breath against your neck. the texture of his stubble. the pride in his eyes. sweat dribbled from your forehead as you let the tennis ball bounce a few times before you to get a feel for the clay courts.

and with one fluent swing and leap, the ball was set into the air.

the cockpit was hot. lando was sweating profusely in the miami air. the humidity had changed their course of strategy at mclaren, but he agreed with his engineers wholeheartedly. there had been a safety car, and he abused it. attack it.

when he was rounding corner after corner, lap after lap, he only thought of you. he thought of you in your pretty tennis dresses. you and your bright smile. you and your comforting touches, kissing him goodnight. it had his racing heart relaxing, fingers flexing against the steering drive.

you were perfect. his perfect fucking girl. you were all his– his soon to be championship winner. and he wanted to make you a promise that he would win. he would win this for you.

‘you’re going to win tomorrow,’ you said idly from atop his hips. you looked towards him with such riveting devotion. such intimacy that he never imagined was possible for someone to convey. but with you, anything was possible.

the two of you were not so different from one another. the pressures you both faced were immaculate. it’s what held you both so heavily bonded to one another. you needed each other’s comfort. the touch of your hands. the sweetness of your lips. he didn’t give a fuck about codependency. fuck who ever came up with that.

he’s going to fucking win. he will win for you. whatever it takes, he will stand on that podium in the firelli hat, and dedicate it all to you.

the score was 40-40.

your body shook with adrenaline, muscles pounding beneath your layer of skin. your body pumped with red hot blood, blood of a future champion. this title would be yours. you knew that the minute you walked onto this court with your opponent.

he was a smug gentleman. too smug. you wanted to wipe that fucking look off of his face. bruise it black and blue if you could.

though your anger could be taken out on the court. you let it.

your strokes were harder. faster. your serve pace was up to 140mph. he couldn’t even get to most of them with how your body contorted mid air, slamming it down and leaving an indent into the clay. you were a powerhouse. a machine. a gauntlet of beauty.

and when you scored the winning point after an intense rally, jumping high into the air for an ace, you rocked back into the balls of your feet. your hips swung, racket thwanging, and you cheered; “come on!”

your anger for him was palpable. it blinded you enough to forget the crowds. the only thing you had on your mind was winning, and that you did.

the stadium lit up and you were met with a flushing amount of cheers. you were handed a towel from one of the members of your team before being swarmed with paparazzi.

they all complimented you. congratulated you. asked about certain points, but there was one member that caught your eye.

“lando’s in the lead!” a cameraman said from the back. your head raised, brows quirking.

“what did you say?” you forced a path for the man to walk forward. he accepted your invitation, holding up his phone screen in one hand.

sure enough, you saw the standings. lando was in first. your boy was in first.

your eyes widened. “this is live, isn’t it?” you were panting, wiping the sweat from your forehead with the lemon-scented towel.

the man nodded, holding a microphone to you.

“how do you feel right now?” you kept watching. lap 55.

you kept quiet, and the rest of the paparazzi did too.

lap 56.

your hands clasped together, raising them to your mouth.

“come on, baby…” you said beneath your breath. this was the longest minute of your life, you were sure of it.

and when he crossed the finish line, he was only thinking about you.

lando norris, first time grand prix winner, shrieked with joy over the microphone.

you did, too, jumping up and down from your place on the court. the paparazzi swarmed you again, anticipating what you had to say for the both of you.

“he’s incredible, isn’t he?” you gushed with a smile on your face, tears dripping down your cheeks.

“what a day for you two, isn’t it?”

you couldn’t agree more. “i’ll cheers to that.”

you practically ran through the paddock. your tennis dress was still on, your team was irritated that you didn’t stay for press. you didn’t give a fuck. you just wanted to see lando. you had the rest of your life to deal with the press, but he only had one maiden win.

you were greeted with a plethora of congratulations from the mclaren team. zak brown even caught a glance at you, waving you over.

“podiums just about to start.” perfect. you made it in time.

and when you saw him there, standing idly as they played the national anthem, you were brought to the front. the camera panned on you and your weeping expression, hand covering your mouth from your sobs.

he saw it from the distance and his head snapped down to find you. his own emotions couldn’t be contained, not with you there– you, here, looking beautiful in the sea of people– and the tears slid down his cheeks.

your face broke into a smile when he saw you. he was yours.

and you were his. and you were in this together.

forever and always.

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wndaswife · 4 months

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To your stepmother’s surprise, you come home from a Christmas party asking for her to care for you; it’s been months since her wedding to your father and months since you’ve paid her any attention at all.

Tags: angst, kiiinda fluffy, stepmom wanda loving you so so much, almost nearly unrequited love

drabble for matriarchal disturbance

I forgot my keys.

You texted Wanda some time during the evening once you realized you had forgotten them, and since she was the only one at home until tomorrow, she’d have to let you in. Or at least keep the door unlocked.

Oh no. It’s okay, I have work to do so I can unlock the door when you come home. :)

It was Christmas break and you were home for just a little, so you were out drinking with some friends from high school and some of their new college friends.

Wanda had texted you a week or two prior asking when you might be coming home. You didn’t answer — you didn’t ever feel in the mood to talk with your stepmother — but you knew it was still her curiosity talking through your father when he called a few days after you left her on read, asking the same question.

They were both happy to have you home, but Wanda particularly, though you could tell she was trying not to be overbearing.

She offered to make you tea or coffee once you were unpacking and offered to make you whatever you wanted for dinner that evening, and very subtly tried asking if you’d be home all break or if you might consider staying longer than when you planned to leave.

Your holiday break ended much later than the day you were planning on leaving, but you didn’t want to stay around much longer than was necessary — you’d spend New Year’s at home, and then you’d leave.

You weren’t really excited to be home, but you weren’t so cruel as to not come back for the holidays.

Still, you weren’t really looking forward to having to deal with your stepmother’s longing, curious looks, always wanting to talk with you or bring something up but not knowing how to and not wanting to spoil her limited time with you.

The feeling you got from seeing her look at you from the corner of your eye wasn’t necessarily all a form of annoyance, but some kinds of pity too, and perhaps some guilt.

There was something about the Christmas party that sorta had you feeling down, and you weren’t quite sure what it was, though perhaps it was simply because there were many things that had bothered you and you just couldn't pin it down to one thing.

It was something about meeting some of your friends’ other friends, and even some of their new partners. You hadn’t drunk anything, and perhaps it would’ve been worse for you if you did — you tended to get a bit more emotional while drunk.

All in all, you just felt… left out. And like you were missing something, or like you never wanted to be there at all.

You wanted to be somewhere you belonged and where your presence was not only enjoyed but needed — somewhere it was warm and loving and kind and soft.

While seeing all your friends together with their new ones and their partners, you just kept thinking of Wanda.

And you really hated yourself for it.

You wanted to go home to see her, and you knew you couldn’t stop it, because you’d been thinking of her all night. So you drank enough to feel just a little drunk — to get just enough confidence to make a bad decision — and went back home early.

From the window facing the street, you could see through the curtains that the living room lamp was on.

Wanda opened the door when you knocked like she said she would. From the door, you could see a book laying on the couch. She smiled at the sight of you.

“Did you have fun?” she asked immediately, stepping back a bit to allow you in. Then she said sympathetically after taking a better look at you, “You look a bit tired.”

You thanked the stars for having taken a few shots before you left.

You stepped into the house and wrapped your arms around Wanda, feeling the warmth of her knitted sweater against your cheek, then against the tip of your nose when you turned your head to bury your face in the crook of her neck. Her hair tickled the space between your eyebrows.

There was a split moment before she wrapped her arms around you that would have been indiscernible if you hadn’t felt how immediate her embraces were a million-and-one times before.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Wanda asked, having turned her head to look down at you so the breath of her soft whispered voice blew warm and gentle against your ear.

“I wanna be your baby again,” you confessed — stupidly.

Wanda tried to speak immediately for how she felt deep in her chest when you spoke the words she had only dreamt would come out of your mouth ever since the wedding, but found she could speak only in stutters.

Then she finally said, “You’ll always be my baby, Y/N.”

You hugged her tighter and you knew that if you hadn’t been just a little bit drunk, you would’ve been angry at what she had just said. But now, it could nearly make you cry.

“Can you bring me to bed?” you mumbled quietly into her neck, still seemingly a bit embarrassed through your drunken state.

“Of course,” she answered, smiling down at you. This was the closest you’d been to her in months, and likely the longest you’ve spoken to her with undivided attention in that same span of time too. She almost didn’t want to move at all for how you’d unwrap your arms from around her once you headed up the stairs together.

You unwrapped yourself from around her body and she closed and locked the front door; you’d literally just been standing embracing each other in the wide-open doorway for several moments.

Then you swiped at your eyes when you pulled away in case you accidentally had cried.

Wanda smiled at you sweetly, and a bit tiredly too, and you knew she must’ve finished her work a little bit ago and decided to stay up to wait for you. She took your hand and you walked up the stairs beside each other in silence.

She squeezed your hand and you squeezed back, and Wanda looked over her shoulder at you shyly as you stared down at the steps of the staircase.

“Can I help you get ready for bed?” she asked once you both arrived in front of the washroom.

You nodded silently then looked up at her with a small smile. “I just have to get my stuff from my bags,” you told her. Then, a bit hesitantly, you let go of her hand and walked towards your bedroom.

Wanda turned on the washroom light and paced around a little, playing with the knitted fabric of her sweater nervously and checking her hair a bit in the mirror, and even trying to repress a tiny smile as she couldn’t help but make comparisons to how it all used to be before the wedding.

But she didn’t want to get ahead of herself — after all, every day after this would be different, and whatever had caused you to come seeking her comfort wasn’t guaranteed to happen again from tonight onwards.

You came into the washroom with a little bag of your toiletries and started unpacking them, starting with makeup wipes and face wash then everything else.

“Come lean against the counter,” Wanda said, and you did. She began removing your makeup with one of your makeup wipes, the fingers of her other hand delicately perched under your chin to keep your face in the light.

She was gentle with how she swiped against your face, and thorough with taking all the makeup off.

Wanda was always so nice and gentle. In taking care of you, and in treating you in any way, really, she always did it as if you were delicate, and special to her too. She never wanted to hurt you, never wanted to make you feel like you weren't the most important thing in the world to her.

You felt like crying, but really didn’t want to ruin how casual you were trying to make everything seem.

She must’ve noticed how your eyes were filling with tears because once she finished she set the makeup wipe down and held you to her chest wordlessly, running her hand down the side of your head soothingly with her other arm wrapped around your waist.

She seemed to understand that you still had your reservations about being with her like this again, and that you weren’t trying not to get into things too quickly.

Even so, she couldn’t help but… hope, even just a little, that the feeling of how she held you and brought you close might make you miss her enough to want to be her baby again for more than just an evening.

“I’m gonna brush my teeth and stuff,” you mumbled and straightened out of her hold, swiping at your eyes again.

Wanda packed up your makeup wipes and slid it back into the toiletry bag you brought.

Quietly, you asked, “Can I sleep with you?”

You weren’t really sure where to look when you asked, so you tried to keep busy getting your toothbrush ready.

But when Wanda replied with a gentle, almost eager, ‘Of course,’ you couldn’t help but look over at her to see her smiling at you.

You looked away while she told you that she would also change and get ready while she waited for you — her shared bedroom had a washroom in it.

Wanda felt ridiculous for how she felt in her stomach — a familiar fluttering feeling dancing around where it would when you were still together. Sometimes Wanda reasoned the memory of the feeling up to a fantasy, that perhaps she may have recalled it as differently as it had been for it’d been so long since she’d felt it.

But it was exactly the same as she recalled.

And it was only with you.

She hadn’t realized she had been smiling until she heard you come into the bedroom, and she instinctively relaxed her face so as to not be overzealous and overwhelm you.

“Are you ready for bed?” she asked, closing the door of the walk-in closet as she stood in her pajama shorts and tank.

You nodded then looked away from her for how happy you felt to be asked that, to soon be adorned by Wanda’s kisses and touched by her gentle, loving hands and embraced by her arms the moment you got into bed.

Wanda seemed to be hesitant at your reluctance for a moment. Her fingers twitched with the urge to walk over and embrace you, to kiss your lips and lead you to her bed. But instead, restraining herself, she went to bed first, getting under the covers and looking over at you encouragingly.

Silently, you followed after closing the bedroom door.

She turned off the lamp on her side and you hesitated for a moment before you reached over and did the same.

Then you were blanketed in the darkness of the bedroom, and for a moment you couldn’t see Wanda in your peripheral vision at all; you could for a moment construe the feelings of blankets under your hands as being in your own bed instead of hers.

For a moment you felt glad to imagine you had made it all up, but then you felt terribly disappointed and lonely again.

Without Wanda, it was always just a little bit… lonely.

But the burst of sudden feelings was contained only within a few moments’ time, for your eyes soon adjusted and you could see the shadow of your stepmother beside you.

She reached out for you, her hand moving under the blankets and placing it on your bare thigh. She moved closer.

“Don’t be nervous,” she said quietly. “It’s okay.”

You’d been here before — in Wanda’s bed without your dad being home, in her company, in the spotlight of her undivided attention, in the warm shower of all her heart could pour out for you and only you.

It was was familiar with Wanda and you knew it for it was the closest thing you’d felt in a while to being somewhere you were certain you belonged in.

Then she added, “I want you here, Y/N.”

Like you had asked her, Wanda babied you — she cared for you. Her other hand wrapped around your waist and she slowly urged your body to lay down beside her.

She didn’t stop there; she moved herself onto her elbow only slightly to gain height over you, then cupped your furthest cheek with her hand. She kissed your face gently, tenderly, on your temple then on your cheekbone, and your chin.

Not your lips — not unless it was you who made an advance towards her first.

You turned and wrapped an arm around her torso securely, burying your face in her chest. She lowered herself back down and wrapped her arms around you immediately.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you muttered against her, “I love you.”

In the morning when you arose before her, you carefully peeled yourself away from a soundly-sleeping Wanda. There was a pang in your chest as you sat at the edge of the bed, recalling how she held you close after you had told her you loved her.

She held you in a way that communicated desperation and longing; it wasn’t only sweet and tender like she always was, but pained, too. She had cradled the back of your head to her chest, rubbed your upper back and pressed her lips against the top of your head.

She might’ve nearly said that she loved you a fourth time, though you presumed she had tried to contain the way she wanted to pour herself out for you right then and there.

You turned and watched as she dozed, her body the very same that you were held against through the night, the same you had thrown yourself into her arms of and were accepted and loved and cared for like you wanted, like Wanda wanted.

How at peace she seemed having gone to sleep with you in her arms, with all she had been longing for warm in her embrace and sleeping in the eternal comfort of her loving.

If you were honest with yourself, and you tried to be for how often you lied to Wanda, you didn’t think it was a lie when you told her you loved her, for you still did.

And you still could, inviting her over to your place and responding to her calls and texts when you were away, letting her care for you and at the very least not pretend she wasn’t always looking at you, waiting only for your eye contact as cue for her to bring up one of the dozens of questions and worries she had about the life that you no longer shared with her — which was to say, all of it.

Wanda stirred and her fingers flexed outwards slightly, reflecting a slowly-rising sun’s beams against her wedding ring, before she relaxed again, still in deep sleep.

Just under an hour later once Wanda woke up to find you gone, she texted asking where you were.

When she texted, you knew that she must have looked first to see if you had moved to your own bed, for you had left and decided to go on a drive.

She messaged: Have you gone out?

Sitting in a parking lot of a walking trail with the breakfast you picked up, the sun only just having fully risen, you texted back.

Forgot something at Kate’s last night.

She asked if you were going to eat breakfast there or if you would be home to have breakfast with her; she’d make some now so it could be ready by the time you got back.

You tried to keep eating after choosing to leave your stepmother on read, but soon lost your appetite. Instead, you went on a walk that lasted until the early afternoon when your dad got back home.

As you had planned, you went back to your place on the second of January, and that evening wasn’t ever brought up.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x y/n #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfiction #elizabeth olsen

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stargirlinterludefr · 4 months

Text

1 STEP FORWARD, 3 STEPS BACK: rafe cameron x fem!reader

Based off of the song 1 step forward, 3 steps back by Olivia Rodrigo

Synopsis: It’s always 1 step forward and 3 steps back with Rafe, until you’ve finally had enough.

TW: Toxic relationship, emotional & verbal abuse, drug usage, references to sexual relations but no smut, addiction, heavy angst, small amount of fluff, guilt tripping for not having sex (I do NOT condone any of this, you should never be made to feel guilty if you don’t want to sleep with someone!), Rafe being an arsehole

Word count: around 3,500

‘Called you on the phone today

Just to ask you how you were

All I did was speak normally

Somehow I still struck a nerve

You’re laid down on your front, hand mindlessly plucking at your lilac coloured blanket as your other hand holds your phone close to your ear, waiting for your boyfriend to answer your call.

“Hello?” Rafe’s deep voice rings through the other end, cutting out the ringing sound that you’d been listening to whilst waiting on an answer.

You smile softly, “Hey baby, just thought I’d ring, not heard off of you in a few hours.” You say, still plucking mindlessly at your blanket as Rafe sniffles down the phone before he answering.

“Uh yeah, been busy with Barry sorry, what’ve you been up to?” He asks, and while deep down you know he’s distracted and probably doesn’t even care about what you’ve been doing as long as you’re not out flirting with other boys or…out doing anything at all.

“Barry? I didn’t realise you were hanging with him today, is he doing okay?” You ask sweetly, kind nature shining through despite how much you disliked Barry for continuing to get Rafe involved with dealings.

“Why you sound so mad about me hanging with Barry, huh?” Rafe snaps back and your heart plummets to your stomach as you pause your mindless ministrations on your blanket.

“Wha- I’m not mad, baby, I was just asking-“ You start but you don’t have the opportunity to finish as Rafe is quick to cut you off.

“Well fucking don’t! I don’t wanna deal with your bitchy attitude, it’s like you- you’re judging me or something so just cut it out a’ight? Get enough of that from my fucking dad, didn’t know my girl would be all up in my business to.” He says, voice agitated and slurred making it clear to you he’d been snorting up lines like there was no tomorrow.

You stay still in your place, eyes laced with tears that were on the verge of falling if you didn’t swallow the lump in your throat.

“What, you gone mute or something?” Rafe snaps and you jolt slightly, clearing your throat as you answer.

“M’ sorry.” You mutter, voice strained and quiet as though he’d zapped every inch of energy and happiness from you in a matter of seconds.

“Yeah, yeah whatever.” He scoffs, the sound of beeping ringing through your speaker signifying that he’d ended the call and as you slowly lower your phone from your ear, silent tears stream down your face and instead of picking mindlessly at your blanket you bury your face into it.

You got me fucked up in the head, boy

Never doubted myself so much

Like, am I pretty? Am I fun, boy?

I hate that I give you power over that kind of stuff

Parties had become something you dreaded immensely.

Rafe would usually leave you as soon as you arrived, seeking out people to sell his stuff to and snorting so many lines of it that you’d be left to deal with either his raging temper or his raging boner.

Despite that fact, you made sure you looked your prettiest each time. At the start of your relationship, Rafe showered you in compliments each time you’d get all dressed up but now he’d simply complain about how long you took and then he’d go flirt with some other look or touron making you seriously question whether you were even pretty enough anymore.

And at this particular party? You felt the burning pit of insecurity like it was etched onto your skin.

You were sat beside Rafe, two other kook girls across from you who were alongside Kelce and Barry.

Rafe was pouring out some coke from a small baggie, organising it into lines as he glanced toward you briefly.

“You want some?” He asks, pupils blown as wide as spaceships.

“No, I’m okay.” You say immediately, you’d never wanted to indulge in things like cocaine as you’d drawn the line at weed and alcohol.

“Oh my god, you’re like no fun are you? Live a little, girl.” One of the kook girls hanging off Kelce’s arms says, making the surrounding people laugh in response as their eyes dart to you.

And the worst part? Rafe laughs along with them.

“Alright then.” You mutter quietly, making the same girl holler in excitement as Rafe smiles, gesturing to the lines of cocaine he’d organised.

“All yours, baby.”

And as you sniff up the line of coke, you wonder when you’d let Rafe have so much power over the way you perceived yourself.

‘Cause it's always one step forward and three steps back

I'm the love of your life until I make you mad

The next morning you woke up to a regretful Rafe, the boy showering you with a million apologies for essentially forcing you to do something you’d never been comfortable doing in the past.

You’d assured him it was okay but he still preached his guilt, continuing to spend the remainder of the day spoiling you with a shopping trip and ending it with a walk on the beach.

The day had you feeling hopeful, Rafe had promised earlier on that he’d atleast stop doing cocaine around you so you wouldn’t be forced to.

This was progress…wasn’t it?

The hope you felt quickly diminished when you caught sight of your old friends, JJ and John B.

And JJ would be damned if he didn’t say hello to you, while you never talked much to the Pogues anymore JJ’s loyalty was impossible to extinguish. If the Maybank boy cared about you, he wasn’t ever going to let those feelings diminish.

“Ain’t this a sight for sore eyes?” A voice calls from behind you, making yours and Rafe’s heads whip around as you come face to face with JJ who is lightly jogging toward you both. John B trailing slowly behind as he adjusts two surf boards under his arms.

“How you been, y/n/n?” He asks, head cocking to the side as his messy blonde hair moves softly with it.

You open your mouth to speak but Rafe quickly cuts you off, hand tightening on your own “She’s good.”

JJ’s face immediately drops as he narrows his eyes, “Don’t think I was asking you, bro.” He says dryly as Rafe clenches his jaw.

“You gonna answer then?” Rafe spits out, making you look at him with pleading eyes, knowing by the look on his face that he was going to end this in a fight with you.

He simply gives you a glare and you turn to JJ, eyes not daring to meet his.

“Uh yeah, I’ve been good, you?” At your words Rafe lets out a scoff and you bite your lip anxiously, praying to whatever god that whatever has him mad will be resolved quickly.

“You know me, I’m always a’ight, you should uh come by the Chateau soon so we can catch up with ya…we’ve missed you.” JJ says, eyes trained intently on you as he ignores Rafe’s looming presence.

“Yeah, that sounds real nice.” You say, smiling softly and before you can say anything else Rafe is tugging you away.

“Yeah, real good to see you JJ, always a fucking pleasure!” He shouts sarcastically, ignoring how the blonde boy calls out your name when John B finally makes it to his side. You send an apologetic smile over your shoulder as Rafe’s hand detaches from your own.

“That sounds real nice?” Rafe parrots your words, eyes wild with anger as he scoffs to himself continuing his rapid walk back to the truck.

“What else was I supposed to say?” You ask desperately, running slightly to keep up with Rafe’s fast paces as he refuses to slow down for you.

“Rafe!” You call out when he doesn’t respond, the two of you now all but five meters from his truck.

That’s when he spins back to face you, face scrunched in anger as he points at you.

“I’ll tell you what your fucking problem is, y-you can’t be happy with what I’m giving you so you put on the sad kicked puppy act when Maybank is around for what? Huh? You fucking him or something?” Rafe shouts in anger, now towering over you as you all but freeze in your place.

“What? No I’m not fucking Jay, Rafe. I haven’t seen him in months, ever since you told me to stop hanging round with my friends!” You say, voice trembling as you attempt to hold back tears of frustration not missing the way Rafe’s eyes flash with more anger.

“You might as well be fucking him, you got nicknames for him and shit?” He states mockingly, letting out a dry laugh when you go to correct your mistake as a force of habit from your childhood, he spins back toward his truck before you can even respond. “Go hang with Maybank for all I care, prove how much of an attention seeking whore you are.”

Your brows furrow as Rafe rounds his truck, clambering into it as you step forward.

“Rafe?” You call out, listening to him start his truck and rev the engine. You begin walking toward the truck but Rafe reverses so quickly that sand flicks up leaving you to shield your face when he spins the truck around,leaving you stood there.

It's always one step forward and three steps back

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy, I don't understand

You receive an abundant of text messages from Rafe later on in the same night as your pacing the small space of your room, nibbling anxiously on your nails.

Rafe 💜: am sory baby

Rafe 💜: Pogue get me soooooo pissed

Rafe 💜: I lobe u so moch ❤️❤️

You let out a groan of frustration at the words, your mind spinning as though you’d experienced whiplash. You didn’t know how to keep up anymore, you didn’t understand.

No, I don't understand

You: I love you too 🤍

And maybe in some masochistic way

I kinda find it all exciting

Like, which lover will I get today?

Will you walk me to the door or send me home cryin'?

Your sat reading on the dock at the back of your house, one foot dangling into the water when your phone buzzes.

Rafe 💜: coming over.

Your stomach churns with an excited sort of nervousness, mind reeling on how Rafe is going to be today.

His emotional imbalance had made such an impact upon your own that you didn’t know how to feel anymore, whatever you felt was never right in his eyes.

you: okay, on the dock <3

When you hear Rafe’s footsteps drawing closer you don’t dare look up, pretending to be engrossed in your book to see how he would react.

Whether he’d be his teasing normal self that you’d fallen in love with or the coked up angry Rafe that you’d grown to hate.

Rafe steps grow dangerously near and his voice comes along with them, “That book so interesting it mutes your hearing?” He asks, voice boarding on teasing as you look up at him a few meters from you.

You smile and shrug, “It’s a good book.”

Rafe cocks a brow, coming to a standstill in front of you as locks down upon you.

“That good book better than my presence?” He asks, and some part of you sighs in relief at his calm demeanour and undiluted pupils.

“Not a chance.” You say, holding your hands out for Rafe to pull you up and as he does he picks you up into a tight hug and spins the both of you around as you squeal in delight.

It's one step forward and three steps back

I'm the love of your life until I make you mad

It's always one step forward and three steps back

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy, I don't understand

“Come on baby, please.” Rafe pleads with you, hands tugging at the waistband of your pants in the country club bathroom as you give him a pointed look.

“Not here Rafe.” You say softly as he groans, head on your shoulder.

“We’ve done it here before.” He says in response, lips suckling on your neck as you laugh, gently prying him away from you.

“Yeah, when we weren’t at a business party with your father here.” Rafe then stands to his full height, his jaw ticking and your stomach immediately drops at the quick shift in demeanour.

“My father’s never seemed to bother you before.” He says, referring to the abundant amount of times the two of you have fucked in the house while Ward was just downstairs.

You sigh softly, “We’re at a business party, baby, I promise when we get home-“

Rafe withdraws his hands from you and runs one through his bangs, “Whatever.” He mutters, moving swiftly toward the bathroom door as you reach out for him.

“Rafe, talk to me, what’s wrong?” The boy in question turn his head and rolls his eyes.

“What’s wrong is my girl is more interested in my father than me.” He says simply, shrugging as he goes “I didn’t even wanna fuck anyway, you make it to much work.”

And like a child who’d been refused his favourite toy, Rafe leaves you stood there swallowing the all too familiar lump in your throat.

No, it's back and forth, did I say something wrong?

It's back and forth, goin' over everything I said

It's back and forth, did I do something wrong?

It's back and forth, maybe this is all your fault

Instead it's one step forward and three steps back

Rafe had been giving you the silent treatment since you’d gotten to Tanny hill, only exchanging a grunt in response to you when you placed a kiss to his head as you sat beside him.

Your mind was raking over whatever it is you’d done wrong as you sit on his bed, anxiously waiting for him to come off of the phone to see if he’d talk to you.

You’d be a fool to yourself if you said this wasn’t a regular occurrence, Rafe constantly gave you the silent treatment in response to something.

And then he’d act like you were stupid for thinking such things.

You’re mind couldn’t pin point a thing you’d done wrong nor could it pin point anything you’d said wrong.

You should know by now that this is Rafe’s way, when he’s annoyed at everyone else he takes it out on you. When he doesn’t want to face his own emotions he pushed them onto you so you can face them. Like his own personal punching bag, you should know it’s not your fault yet you feel like it is every time.

When Rafe re emerges from the balcony, he lies down on the bed beside you as you remain sat up trying to find the courage to ask him the question that often leads to him essentially biting your head off.

“Are you mad at me?” You blurt out, turning to look at Rafe who sighs loudly in annoyance.

“Not this shit again.” He groans, rubbing a hand over his face as you fiddle with your fingers.

“I- you just seem quiet today s’all.” You point out and you can predict Rafe’s response before he even says it.

“What? I can’t be quiet now? It’s all good when you wanna be quiet but when it’s me I’m suddenly mad at you?” He asks rhetorically as you shrug half heartedly, avoiding his gaze as he sighs again bringing himself to a sitting position as he places his chin on your shoulder.

“Stop asking me stupid shit, a’ight?” He says and all you can do is nod numbly.

And I'd leave you, but the roller coaster is all I've ever had

As youre walking out of Tanny Hill, face wet with tears due to another screaming match with Rafe, a voice calls out your name from behind you.

You’re quick to wipe your cheeks when you realise it isn’t Rafe, it’s Sarah.

You turn, forcing a smile onto your face as she approaches you, and by the look on her face you know she heard.

“Hey Sare, everything good?” You ask, voice hoarse due to the amount of shouting and crying you’d done.

“I should ask you that, are you okay?” She says softly, brown eyes so kind that your heart nearly breaks to think of how much anger her brother’s blue ones hold.

“You heard, huh?” You ask, watching as she nods, “Look, he- he’s just had a long day and-“

“Y/n, he’s always either had a long day or he’s had a fight with our dad, that doesn’t justify the way he treats you.” She states, deja vu hitting you remembering the similar conversation the two of you had but in that conversation she’d been cautious with what she’d said to you but it was obvious now that caution had gone out of the window.

You stand silently, biting your lip as you look at your former friend “But he loves me.” You whisper, as if that justifies anything.

Sarah’s face breaks out in so much empathy that you swear you can hear both of your hearts break, “Love isn’t supposed to be that hard.” She says and you suck in a harsh breath, “He does love you but…not in the way you deserve.”

Tears roll down your cheeks once more as you respond, “How am I supposed to know what I deserve? I’ve never known anyone else’s love apart from his.”

Sarah immediately brings you into her arms, hugging you so tightly that you have no choice but to let yourself fall into the embrace.

Yeah, it's one step forward and three steps back

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy

I don't understand

You and Rafe sit silently together at one of Rose’s infamous parties, your eyes trained intently on both Sarah and John B as the Routledge boy spins her around whilst watching her with such a lovesick expression that it makes your stomach churn.

You don’t think Rafe has ever looked at you in such a way.

Not even Ward argued with the fact that Sarah was dating a Pogue, JB was so fiercely in love with his daughter that everyone with eyes could see it. He worshipped the ground she walked on making you come to realisation that Rafe had never been that way with you.

Your head turns to said boy as you speak up, “Do you love me?” You ask, making Rafe slowly turn his head toward you in return, the motion slow due to how high he is.

You don’t think he’s been sober properly since you got together, and you know he won’t be sober any time soon.

You’d helped him in every way you could, he threw it all back into your face.

He needed to figure his shit out for himself now.

“You really asking me stupid shit again?” He asks harshly, yet this time, you don’t waver in your response and you chose to ignore the lump in your throat.

“It’s a simple question, Rafe.” You state calmly, eyes twinkling with such a small amount of hope for whatever thread is hanging on in yours and Rafe’s relationship.

Rafe simply stares at you, as though he can’t bring himself to say the words he’s always eager to say when he wants to get you into bed.

You nod, hope dying out as the thread finally snaps and you unlatch the necklace he’d given you, signifying you breaking free of the prison he’d had you in for over a year.

“I hope you get better Rafe, but I don’t think you’re ever going to do that when you’re with me, I don’t want to be the thing that takes on all your shitty emotions…you need to face them for yourself.” You say, gently prying apart his clenched palm and placing the necklace there before you stand up.

Rafe is quick to follow, calling out for you as you walk away, ignoring the multiple gazes on you and the attention drawn toward you at Rafe’s desperate shouts.

Somewhere in the crowd, Sarah and John B watch with small smiles, happy you’d finally made the first step for yourself.

No, I don't understand

Two weeks later and you’re sat on the front porch at the Chateau, hair flowing softly in the morning breeze as you watch the sunrise.

Rafe had been non stop texting you during the duration of your split, words of love and hatred that you still couldn’t begin to understand no matter how hard you tried.

You did come to the realisation that he’d never even allowed you to understand him, despite how hard you’d tried.

He’d attempted to come to your house but you’d made the wise decision to crash at John B’s, rekindling your friendship with the Pogues as they welcomed you with open arms. Eyes filled with immense guilt for not realising how bad things had gotten with you and Rafe but also with so much love that you’d felt overwhelmed, you didn’t realise such love still existed.

You smile softly to yourself, eyes dancing over the colours coating the sky and you decided things would be okay.

You’d be okay.

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hyukakisses · 27 days

Text

-emo beomgyu as your jealous bestfriend to boyfriend!

parings: beomgyu x fem reader

plot: heavily inspired by eli goldsworthy’s manic episode in degrassi, (and very old post i had up on my old account)

warnings: cursing, mentally ill/lovesick oreo gyu, sweet reader who’s a pushover, smut, jealous gyu, bestfriend to lover troupe, beomgyu is a bit toxic, beomgyu corrupts reader, reader is also mentally ill with a low self esteem if you squint, sub reader & dom gyu

“so how do i look?” you’d spin in your outfit you had planned out for the night, making beomgyu’s head shot up from the manga he was reading titled nana

beomgyu’s breath hitches at the back of his throat. “you look pretty really pretty” his big brown eyes trail up and down your frame. “why are you wearing black though? i mean it looks good don’t get me wrong but it’s just so not you”

you’d roll your eyes playfully at his comment, internally squealing at how beomgyu knew you so well. “i know this is going to sound so dumb but the guy i’m going on a date with only really likes goth girls”

beomgyu’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach at your admission, you’re going out on a date? with a guy? a guy who wasn’t him?

“a date with a guy who doesn’t even like who you are? seriously y/n?” beomgyu did knew you had low self esteem but he didn’t know it was this low—

you’d frown at the blunt response, “i know i know i sound so pathetic but if i don’t mirror the people i like then how can i ever get them to like me?”

the scowl on beomgyu’s face falls, his eyes softening with pity at your words. how could you not see that he was in love with you? the emo boy would literally die for you — no scratch that beomgyu would kill bare hand slaughter anyone who even thought about you in a negative light yet you’re seriously convinced you couldn’t pull anyone with your personality alone?

beomgyu was about to speak up until your phone rings, a message from the mystery man that was outside your house waiting to escort you to a date and this made the manic emo boy’s blood boil

how dare he takes you away from him? how was that fair?

beomgyu groans loudly after waving you goodbye, waiting patiently on your soft fluffy bed resisting the urge to spam your phone with hundreds of messages and phone calls. hating how you chose some stranger over him

was he not good enough? did the black attire scare you off?

the feeling of impulsiveness rushes through beomgyu’s already wrecked headspace, grabbing his cellphone in a hurry. not being able to stop himself from double— no triple texting you in a row.

miss you >:( 8:10 pm

are you having that much fun without me? it’s been two minutes and you haven’t respond telling me how much you miss me too 8:12 pm

beomgyu let’s out a sigh in frustration, contemplating on the back and forth idea of taking out his anger on your sanrio plushies but he breathes in excitement at the sound of his phone going off.

noooo im not having that much fun without you! i miss you too! 8:13 pm

>:( i hate when you leave me all alone you know 8:13 pm

im sorry ): i’ll make it up to you kay? stay up for me! mwah :3 8:14 pm

MWAH ^_^ <3!! 8:14 pm

WOAH WE KISSED! <3 >:D 8:14 pm

a little bit over a month passes since your night out, and you were currently sobbing on beomgyu’s shoulder. “i-i don’t know what happened i thought everything was going so well but he completely ghosted me when i bought up not wanting anything casual!”

“what’s wrong with me beomgyu? why doesn’t anyone seem to like me after the honeymoon phase? am i that terrible?” you went on a ramble squeezing onto your bestfriend for dear life.

beomgyu couldn’t ignore the slight song of guilt in his chest as he held you in his arms, knowing how much it would kill you if you found out the reason why you can’t keep a relationship to save your life was because of him. beomgyu’s overbearing clinginess this being a huge turn off to any guy you were talking to you.

and since you were super trusting of your friend you never really saw how beomgyu was responsible for your bad luck in dating. this cycle resulting in your low self esteem eventually, often leaving yourself to do a lot of self blaming. wondering, going back and forth with your yourself on why things with literally anyone who showed you any romantic interest always went to shit

am i not pretty enough? am i that boring?

“hey hey so what if the guy doesn’t want to take things to the next level with you? the guys a total loser anyway did you see how beat his car was? you’re telling me you want to settle for someone who’s broke?” beomgyu chuckles trying to use humor to lighten up your pitiful mood

you’d sniffle, “b-but did you see the way he looked at me? it felt nice to be liked and not lusted for” and this made beomgyu chuckle to himself, lazily stroking your hair in an attempt to console you.

if only you knew how much beomgyu liked you— no loved you

“and i’m sure there’s ton of guys out there who will like you instead of lusting over you baby” beomgyu grins looking down at your face was buried in his scrawny chest

“r-really?” your head shoots up from the emo boy’s warm embrace, your eyes glimmering hopeful “you really think so gyu? you think anyone could love me?” you always craved beomgyu’s validation and reassurance

another thing you longed for was beomgyu liking you back, but he’s beomgyu and you’re well you’re you—

beomgyu laughs at your cute question, shaking his head causing his shaggy hair to shake. “are you kidding? of course i think anyone could love you and if they don’t then they’re a total dumbass”

what beomgyu really wanted to say was how he loved you, but the idea of someone as sweet as you dating a total mess of a man like him made the oreo haired boy feel sorry for you

you’d let out a wince, at the feeling of your bestfriend above you stretching out your pink gummy insides. clinging onto the males shoulder blades for dear life. “beomgyu c-can you be more gentle?”

beomgyu softens his blissed out gaze on you, basking in at how tiny you look compared to him and how pretty you looked laid on your back. you reminded the man of a princess.

beomgyu whimpers a nod at your words, his pace slowing down to a gentle rhythm. leaning down to close the gap between you both pulling your soft lips into a sweet kiss savoring the way you tasted like strawberry lip balm.

“does that feel better princess? im not hurting you too much now right?” beomgyu bangs flopped down his eyes making you giggle at the action

“n-no it’s not hurting anymore i feel really good..” you moan sweetly, loving at how beomgyu was checking up on you. “thank you for making sure my first time was with someone who loves me even if it was just in a friend way” you’d smile up at the emo boy bringing him down to your face for a hug

beomgyu mentally face palms, stuffing his face in the crook of your neck. the oreo haired boy drowning into your strawberry pound cake scent, wanting to scream at you in frustration. what kind of virgin takes another virgin’s virginity just because they loved them as a friend? are you really that fucking dumb?

a few weeks by and you had another date with another mystery man, and beomgyu was not happy.

after all the comforting words he told you how could you not see that he was in love with you? how could you possibly throw yourself at any guy who paid you attention?

beomgyu was tired of being nice and patient with you, and without thinking he immediately gets in his car to blow off some steam. imagining the hands belonging to your date dragging its way to your figure, cringing at the idea of you underneath another man cumming around his cock and such

beomgyu was so lost in the idea of you abandoning him for this new guy he didn’t realize he was driving straight into a tree, his eyes widening before the world around him went dark

“you came” beomgyu weakly smiles waking up as he senses you grabbing onto his hand

you’d sniffle back a few tears, seeing your bestfriend in such horrible condition really made you feel guilty. maybe if you were at home with beomgyu he wouldn’t have felt so bored at the house and he wouldn’t have gotten into his car resulting in his accident

“of course i came, i came as soon as i heard” fat tears fall down your face in relief when you examine beomgyu’s cuts weren’t that severe. but the mere thought of beomgyu leaving you was too much

“im so sorry i should have never went out tonight— i should have just stayed indoors with you playing that stupid video game you like what what was it?” you cried trying to remember

“dead by daylight” beomgyu laughs at your crying state

“yes that! i’ve been so self absorbed i didn’t stop and realize that you need to come first im really sorry beomgyu” you’d rabble going into a fit of sobs, blaming yourself over and over again for this happening

“it’s okay seriously i just have a few cuts that’s all” beomgyu assures you, showing off the bandages around his body

“i know but i still feel so guilty..”

“don’t be”

you’d wipe your tears away with a dry laugh, “i don’t even know why i continue to go onto these dates when it’s you i want to be with” you’d admit blushing profoundly

“you what?”

“im sorry terrible timing i know but i almost lost you tonight so i might as well come clean” you’d laugh more genuine this time

“i like you too”

“you what?”

“you heard me, just shut up and help me home will you?”

a/n: this made me miss my ex.. enjoy enjoy

#lyrical’s garden 💒#coquette #txt #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #txt headcanons #txt imagines #txt smut #txt x reader #txt beomgyu #txt reactions #yandere txt #txt post #emo boyfriend

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ch4nb4ng · 1 year

Text

Give it to me Straight

Pairing: Minho x afab!reader

Genre: Best friend's forbidden older brother

Word Count: 9.1 k (yeah we got carried away once again)

Warnings: Based off of inspo (here) and (here) that is also literally porn so dont click if u dont want to see you have been warned.

Also contains: smut, worshipping, angst, mentions of alcohol and intoxication, fingering (f receiving), kissing, penetration, lots and lots of praise, semi soft smut

Notes: HEY!! this is a fic i wrote hald of last year and just forgot about it and found and decided to finish it, hope oyu enjoy !!

Summary: You had enough of your best friend brother, Minho, giving you mixed signals as you grew up, but this. This was the night that you were finally going to do something about it

The night was pretty much over, or well, it should have been. But here you were, sitting on the floor of a random person’s apartment, giggling over and over as you looked at the other 8 people also sitting down in a circle next to you. There were your friends, Sana and Hyunjin, and there were the others. Actually, quite frankly, you did not know these people until tonight. There was one person that was there, that you did know, all too well.

Minho, Lee Minho. Friend, foe? You weren’t sure what to call him, but all you knew was that you were grinding on him in the club an hour ago, hands roaming across your body, lips, teeth on your neck. It was fun, one shot after another had your mind racing, thinking about the possibilities of what could happen after you went home, with him. What wasn’t helpful was the guilt that came with such excitement.

“Fuck okay,” the stranger yelled, clapping his hands before swinging them, taking the empty vodka bottle off the kitchen bench, “let’s play a good ole fashion game of spin the bottle. Who’s in?”

“Me me me!”

The small crowd cheered in unison, but all you could do was stare at him. More guilt, more excitement, more adrenaline. The thought of kissing him did nothing but intensify the want, the need, the desire to. Wanting to hook up with your best friend’s older brother was the worst thing that you could want at this very moment.

The relationship with Minho was always strange and never straightforward. Even from the first time the two of you met. Your best friend of almost 10 years since you had been in elementary school, he was just different towards you. When you were younger, all he did was pick on you. The short scrawny boy, only a couple of years older than you. Would always chase you around the school yard, always until you fell over, or hurt yourself in some kind of way. You hated him, and had no idea why he always picked on you specifically.

It changed in middle school, however, after puberty, well, more for him. His face changed, grew taller, much more attractive in your 14 year old eyes. You denied it though, remembering how cruel he was to you. Not much changed personality wise, he was still mean. Picking on you, your grades, his sister, her grades. He was ruthless, and it made you hate him even more. Minho’s looks were easy to overlook when everything that came out of his mouth was rubbish.

It wasn’t until he left for college, and came back for summer after finishing his first year, did things change. He had grown even taller, started working out, and had joined his college’s dance team. Holy fuck did things became different. His smile beamed as soon as he walked in and you in his house, sitting at the kitchen bench.

***

“Y/n?”

You turned around, jaw dropping the moment you laid your eyes on him. He dropped everything, fast walking towards you as he picked you up, spinning you around with a large chuckle erupting from his chest. He put you down, eyes doing a quick check up and down your body before biting down on his bottom lip.

“Minho?”

“Wow, you look, really, really good.”

His stance was close, almost lingering over you, that was, until your best friend walked in, causing him to step away, rubbing the back of his neck as he walked to the fridge so nonchalantly. Your friend gave you a weird look, mouthing a ‘sorry,’ solely for his presence in the room. They never were that close.

“I forgot to tell you that he got back a few days ago and is going to be here for the summer.”

“That’s okay,” you scoffed, overexaggerated manner, “why would you need to tell me that.”

“Because I know how he can be,” she whispered, “rude, mean, very obnoxious and super, super arrogant.”

The second half of her sentence was louder, looking straight at him to make sure she knew. You just laughed, nervously, unsure how to take in the interaction.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” she sighed, “please don’t bully my only friend while I’m gone.”

The man rolled his eyes, laughing as he took a large gulp from his water bottle. He walked forward, waiting for her to leave before reassessing his position. His hands leaned against the bench, body pushing forward as he leaned towards you, a smirk appearing on his lips as he looked down at you.

“I have to go, meeting a friend at the gym, but it was really, really good to see you. We should hang out sometimes if you’re free, you know, without her?”

“We should?”

“Yes,” he smirked, biting down on his bottom lip, “definitely.”

***

“Okay,” the stranger announced to himself, “I’ll go first.”

The game felt like torture. Simply watching the bottle, casting your eyes on what seemed to be an infinite amount of times, spinning on an axis. It didn’t help you at all. If anything, it intensified how dizzy you truly were feeling. Concentration was getting harder, but you refused. Refused to give up anything. You did not want to prove Minho’s point. That you would always be this little girl that is easy to pick on.

“Oh my god,” Hyunjin nudged you, “Y/n, psst, the bottle is on you.”

His knock cloaked you out of your drunken daze, bringing some sobriety back as he pointed towards the bottle, eyes opening when you saw it land on you. You looked up, seeing the stranger was already there. He was attractive, short black hair, hazel eyes, freckles. He was really cute, and your brain melted the longer he gazed at you.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” you whispered, hand in front of your mouth as you giggled at his proximity. You didn’t have to look. The feeling of a pair of eyes burning into the side of your head was more than enough to know who had their eyes on you, and who didn’t. Chan did not, already ditching the game and sloppily making out with the person next to him. Hyunjin followed in pursuit, and Jisung and Sana, well, that was another story, a long time coming. The glance was brief, not long enough to focus on anybody, but well enough to know your surroundings. Enough to see the girl, who looked very familiar, but not enough to be identified by name, whisk her fingers across his inner thigh. He stayed still, not paying any mind to her as he fixated on you. The man joined in the staring contest, noticing Minho’s obviously unimpressed glare.

He swung his head back in your direction, pushing his body weight on you in the slightest. You followed, back now adjacent to the floor as he leaned over, lips hovering over your own. You brought your index finger to his lips, curious to know more about the man before he kissed you.

“Wait.”

“Is something wrong?” His facial expression changed, unsure as to why or what made you hesitate.

“Oh, no,” you giggled, full of giddyness and intoxication, “your name. I just wanted to know your name before we, well, you know.”

The man smirked, cupping your face in adoration as he leaned closer, lips wisping across your ear as he spoke.

“Well aren’t you just the cutest?”

He pulled away, eyes back in level with your own as he spoke once more, “Felix. I’m Felix.”

That was all you needed, wrapping your arms around Felix’s neck as you pulled him in, eyes closing and mouth opening and lips attacking yours. The kiss in reality, from an outside perspective, would have looked very messy. Very sloppy as lips missed each other, teeth crashed together, and also the fact that you could feel Felix’s hips moving against your own in the slightest, already half hard member grinding against your thigh. It did feel good, you couldn’t fib to yourself. The gentle friction was delicious. It was enough to make you moan discreetly, the sound lost in Felix’s mouth as the two of you continued.

You were enjoying yourself, but you also remembered not to lose yourself in the moment. Felix was fun, but he was just part of the plan. A simple pawn in a game of chess, of course being the queen and Minho the king. Sometimes you have to make some unnecessary moves to win in the long term. Even with your eyes closed, you could still feel his own burning into the back of your head. If sober, you most likely would have been feeling some kind of guilt. It wasn’t like you to rub things in other people’s faces. But you felt like it was only fitting. Yes, you wanted Minho, but after everything, your timeline with him, having a crush on him for the longest time regardless that he made your life hard, it only felt right to drag this out as much as possible.

Your eyes fluttered open, empty lidded shooting daggers at him. Appraisal came to your mind when his daggers were returned, gaze still very much fixated on you, with Felix, making out with another man right in front of him. His blood was searing, reaching boiling point at a very rapid rate. He knew you were a lot of things. Sarcastic, blunt, ‘indifferent’ towards him as you got older, or so he thought. But he didn’t take you to be a tease. He was reaching the point of no return, and if you didn’t stop this act, this play scene just for him, he was going to do something he regretted.

“Hmm fuck,” Felix grumbled, pulling away from you, “has anyone ever told you that you’re a really good kisser?”

Your eyes flickered back to the man on top of you, quickly averting your gaze to avoid any deflections from Minho, Chan, or any of the others there that you knew.

“Hey man, what are you doing?”

You sat up immediately, looking up to see Minho’s friend, Jisung, standing over you. His tone was playful, but the adrenaline was kicking in. The several times you met Minho’s friends, they were decent enough to be nice to your face. Anytime you went over, you could hear them. Talking about how you look, always asking Minho about you. Just them teasing him about you. Maybe it was the reason as to why he had so much disdain for you. They were also protective, very protective of him, and probably the reason why they were standing over you right now.

“Oh hey man, you’re not her boyfriend are you?”

“Who, me?” Jisung laughed, hard, almost hysterically, bringing a hand to his chest to calm himself down, “no no, not me, but the guy over there might be a little mad that you’re making out with his girl.”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing onto Felix’s arm, other hand tucking under his chin as you pressed another haste kiss to his lips. You gave Minho one more look, noticing his fists turned inwards, hard shaped as he watched your interactions with the new guy accelerating.

“Good,” He smirked, standing up, and reaching a hand out to you as an invitation, “Did you want to hang out in my room? It’s just down the hall.”

“Sure,” you replied bluntly as you took his invitation. You allowed Felix to guide you, taking one last look at Jisung. Before making your way, you were interrupted one more time. It made you scoff when Minho grabbed your wrist, finally able to do something himself, not his friends doing it for him.

“Y/n?”

“What do you want?”

“Where are you going?”

“What do you think?”

With a heavy grip, attempting to shake yourself out of his grip. There was no way you were giving up on this act yet.

“You just met the guy tonight?”

“Okay and? It’s not like that ever stopped you before. At least I’m not at home, forcing everyone else to hear you late at night.”

He looked down, knowing he had been beaten to the punch. You resisted once more, able to come out of his grip as you looked up and down at him once more, “Stop acting like you give a shit what I do.”

You watched him open his mouth, but missed out on whatever he was going to say. You laughed to yourself, the swift motion of the man from the other side, Felix, the one who was giving you the attention you needed right now. Without a word, he closed the door behind you, spare hand placed on your lower back as he lead you to what seemed to be his bed.You sat down first, Felix making quick work as he stood over you once more, index finger stuck on your shoulder as he effortlessly as he ‘pushed’ you over, torso hovering on top of yours, just like he did previously. You had to give it to him. This Felix guy was smooth. The way he looked down at you, raking your body with every single eye nerve, the gentle twitch when he noticed extra skin showing on your body for a slight moment. He definitely was contributing to your uprising arousal, but the thing that really turned you on was the mere possibility of Minho hearing this. Having his ear up to the door, curious to see what you would really do.

“Hey,” Felix whispered, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips, taking you out of your thoughts completely, “everything okay?”

“What? Oh, yeah, where were we?”

You brought a hand to his arm, rubbing up and down in a soothing motion as his own came back to your chin, pinching it forward, lips doting to reconnect with his. His lips were smooth, not a crack or dry spot in sight or in feeling. The kiss was a lot more connected, a lot more teamwork and passion. His tongue lazily slipped inside of your mouth, picking up with much brute and force as his hips charged, recreating the prior friction against your core. Felix had one hand on the side of your jaw, the one on your chin snaking around and cascading down, in between your cleavage, past your navel, brimming on the edge of your undergarment line. You gasped, immediately, not expecting things to move so quickly. A stifled whimper escaped your lips, enjoying the friction his fingers created around the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Oh,” you groaned, slightly high pitched and confused at first, but once his fingers dived past your dress, underneath your core, right in the center of your sweet spot, you groaned again, a deeper, more gratifying noise bellowing in response.

“Does that feel good?”

“Mhm,” you whispered, looking up at him, “feels so good already.”

Your hand felt dizzy again, a lightheaded texture adding. You weren’t sure if it was his fingers or the alcohol speaking, but it most likely was the loud bang that came from the east part of the room. You jumped immediately, bumping heads with Felix as you quickly covered yourself, given no time to fix your hair as you were being dragged out, Minho’s jaw clenched as he walked you out.

“Sorry, uh Felix, it was nice to meet you,” you yelled down the hallway, pushed all the way to the front door.

“Minho what the fuck?”

“Shut up and get in the car,” he growled, not putting up with any nonsense that you were about to spew at him, “Jisung’s taking us all home, your friends included.”

“Ugh, whatever,” you scoffed, the digging of his fingers becoming slightly painful. You opened the door, seeing Hyunjin’s smirk as soon as he saw you, hand in hand with Minho. He never had to say anything, he always knew how you felt about him, even when it wasn’t clear to you.

The midnight breeze was very apparent, hitting you like a truck. The goosebumps on your skin raised in an instant, shiver running down your spine as you walked. Minho let go of your wrist, removing his jump over his head, and plopping it on top of yours. You wanted to turn, scream at him for ruining your hair, not even thinking about your makeup. But honestly, you were just tired. It was late.

***

You pushed the button down in the backseat, letting the cool breeze smack you across the face as Jisung drove down the highway. It felt nice, distracting you from the imminent pressing of your best friend’s brother inconveniently pressing up against you, too big for the middle seat. Of course he had to sit next to you. Invade your personal space, your privacy. He was still overprotective of you, even when you were by yourselves. It was annoying, and you really didn’t know why he was always like this with you after the needless torture that was gorwing up with him around.

You decided to put the window up, a sudden drowsiness coming over you as you leaned your head against the window. Your eyes were fluttering, half lidded when you felt someone whispering, right up to your ear. His lips were cold, roughly but incidentally lingering on your lobe.

“Y/n,” Minho hushed, patting your arm lightly, “y/n, baby.”

“Mhm,” you mumbled, furrowing your eyebrows, “what is it?”

“We’re here, wake up.”

“Oh,” you sighed, releasing your weight on the window. Your eyes opened, turning from the window, which was a big mistake. You caught yourself, inches away from your face. Apart from the club, it was the closest you had been ever to him. You saw him, looking down at your lips, causing you to gulp loudly. You wanted to lean in, push away all the doubt you had in your mind, and follow your heart. To have him on your lips, around your body, caressing every crevice, every curve. It was something you had fantasized about in your head several times, whether you wanted to or not. Your hand flew to his chest, truly speechless and unsure what to say.

“Minho. I-”

He licked his lips, fingers latching onto your jaw, thumb against the subtlety of your lips. He flipped, lip bouncing back as he leaned even closer. His breath had never felt so imminent, not even the first time the two of you had shared a kiss.

***

“Did you need help?”

Your heart almost jumped out of your chest, about to lose balance on the stool. The tea bags were high in the cupboard, and you weren’t the tallest person going around. Minho put his arms out, helping you adjust yourself before stepping down and back onto the ground.

“Yeah,” you chuckled, “you know me, never able to reach anything.”

“It’s okay, they’re stored pretty high up.”

Without giving you time to move, he reached over, torso pressed against your chest, half of his body weight leaning on you as he reached up to grab one for you. Your face rose in heat as he placed it on the bench behind you, keeping firm in his position.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, still not moving, “I probably shouldn’t have done that.”

“Oh, uhm no, it’s okay” you mumbled back, pushing the hair behind your ear. He beat you to the other side, lifting his fingers, watching how delicately the fibers of your hair curved along your ear lobe.

Faces inching closer, it felt like do or die, but you would rather get hit by a truck than make the first move. Minho was the type to flirt, hard. He knew he could get anyone he wanted. College really changed him. For the better though, even if it meant he became a mass fuckboy.

“You have a really, uhm, beautiful face.”

He had become nervous all of a sudden, and you couldn’t help but smile. Smile at both his nerves and slight awkwardness, as well as his proximity.

“Uhm thanks,” you mumbled again, scared that if you attempted to speak at a normal volume, it would squeak, “you have a nice face as well.”

“Shut up,” he mumbled, piercing eyes boring into yours.

“Make me.”

He hesitated for a brief moment, before bringing both hands to your face, pressing his lips to yours. It was soft at first, a series of gentle pecks you wrapped your hand palms around his neck, keeping him close. His body felt good, right when close to you.

It didn’t take long for things to heat up however, Minho’s tongue begging for access as you gave it to him willfully, a gentle hum as he simultaneously rolled his hips into yours once. A soft groan escaped your lips, causing him to pull away. The smirk on his face was priceless; you knew he was satisfied with himself. His hands snaked down to your waist, lifting you up and placing you on the kitchen bench. Minho nudged your leg with his left knee, spreading them wide, allowing himself to fit into the curve. He kept his digits across your fingertips, gently tapping as he leaned back in, skipping the innocent kisses and heading straight to a heavy, heavy makeout. The noises erupting were increasing in quantity, and it wasn’t until you heard footsteps running down the steps were you snapped back into reality. Hands on his chest, you pushed him off quickly, pushing your hair back in front of your face.

“Y/n what’s taking you so long?”

“Oh uhm, I was just trying to reach the teabags.”

“Yeah,” Minho joined in, helping you cover your ass, “I just grabbed it for her, seeing as she was already in my way to get to the glasses, annoying ass.”

“Okay whatever weirdo,” she replied to him, “stop annoying Y/n.”

***

The memory of the flashback playing in spurts, ones that your intoxicated mind was probably failing to accurately recall the event. It was, however, enough for you to pull away. Saying nothing, you turned away, opening the car door, semi-stumbling onto the ground as you jumped out the car, heading towards his front door. Luckily your best friend was out of town, away on a camping weekend with her boyfriend and her parents, because if she heard you walking in with Minho, it was game over.

“Y/n,” he whispered, tone harsh like he wanted to yell, “y/n.”

It was nothing but a faint noise in the distance. You stood there, in front of the door, impatiently waiting for it to be unlocked. It wasn’t until you could feel him. He grabbed your wrist, almost having to yank you back to stop you.

“What,” you whispered back, similar in tone, “what do you want?”

He waited. It looked like he was trying to put a thought together, knowing that he needed to say something very important. It could make or break: everything. He took a step closer, that familiar feeling of adrenaline, no, some other feeling that you couldn’t describe. Made your heart race, body sweat. You couldn’t put your finger on what it was. All you knew was that it only happened when he was around you.

“I’m, I’m sorry.”

You looked up at him, adoration at how gentle his skin glowed in the moonlight. Fuck, this was annoying. Why did he have to be so hot? It would have been the easy way out to forgive him and let him do what you craved, yearned for. But it was simply too much to do so. This man had been toying with your heart for a long time. Whether he had a crush on you for the lingering amount of time that you had, you deserved better than someone who played with you for their own amusement.

“What are you sorry for?”

Your tone was calm, yet still firmly questioning him. It was easier to just deny the night events than argue about it.

***

The music was loud, deafening as Minho, dragging you by the delicacy of your poor wrist, locked in a spot right next to the speaker right beside the DJ of the club, aka pole position. At first the dancing was innocent, a bright smile of pure joy (and intoxication) plastered across your face, holding each other’s hands as you pushed and pulled them back and forth. It wasn’t until the motions of arms were not moving in the opposite directions, somehow were both pulling in his direction, right up against his waist. The music was much too loud to allow your rational cognitions to process the sequence of events. Facing him, not facing him. Appropriate distance, very much appreciate distance. It was hard to explain how you ended up with your back pressed against Minho’s chest, somehow in the monstrosity of alcoholic beverages and shots actually moving your hips in a synchronized way with his. Maybe it was the firm grip, thumb digging into the soft flesh that was hardly hidden under that dress, making sure that this was the only place you needed to be, that he wanted you to be.

Your hands easily followed too, palms on top of this tendon illuminating the side of his hands as his lips rested on the outside of the cartilage that made up your ear. The second time you could feel the magic that was his lips. The crowd that was Minho’s friends and the new, yet very much fun strangers that would end up making the later house party were long gone at this very moment. The only thing you could remember was coming with Minho, and the last thing you wanted to do was leave with him.

“Mmmm,” was all that could be heard, well no, felt from the man behind you. The vibrations of his lips were the only indicator that he was trying to say something. His teeth soon followed. Gentle, almost kitten-like nibbles nipped at the heated flesh of the neck and shoulder, head falling limp against his own shoulder as he continued to chuckle inbetween. There seemed to be an innocence to his antics, almost like he didn’t want to hurt you. Yet knowing the downright filthy desires, things he wanted to do, for a numerous amount of time was very much ironic.

Turning around, you pulled away, eyes boring into yours and his face came closer and closer. Eyes fluttering shut like a butterfly's wings for a brief moment, desire had never been stronger.

“There he is, Jisung!”

And just like that, it was over. Reality came back and your Minho clouded fog dissipated in a matter of moments, and it must have for him. You had never seen someone take their hands of someone with such speed. The timely reaction of Minho brought you back to a realistic part of your life. The one where this was nothing but a dream, and Minho was once again out of reach, and the many barriers that were his friends, your friend being in the way, made you nothing but a pawn in his chess game.

***

You stood there in silence, the only sound that could be heard was the ringing in your ears from the loud music prior. The want for him to explain himself was one of such desperation. A sign, anything at this point. Yes, you were very much exhausted from the games but if it was all worth it for him to finally do something about it in the end, the fatigue would be easily wiped away.

“I don’t mean to be this way. So, uhm, aggressive? Or the opposite, I don’t know I-”

“Minho in the nicest way possible, I’m tired and we’ve both had a big night. We can talk about it in the morning.”

Using the spare key that your friend had so graciously given you as a symbol of how much time you truly spent at her house, his house, over the years, the door was unlocked, you ripping your shoes off and letting them laz sprawl against the living room carpet as your body heavily dragged up the stairs. Your feet automatically knew the way to her room, 4 paces straight and two to the left. To get to his it was 7 paces straight 2 to the right. The 4th step on the second floor felt unnatural at this moment, body wanting nothing more than to be pressed up against him in a deep slumber, you craved it; but you knew better at the same time.

“Y/n.”

Silence. You could feel him coming closer, but it’s honestly just too painful at this point to even wait for anything more.

“Y/n.”

Silence, again. It wasn’t until you could feel the unintentionally harsh pull at your wrist, once again pulling back and up against him.

“Y/n wait.”

“For fucks sake Minho,” you huffed, yanking your arm away from his grip, “leave me alone.”

“No, I want to talk about it now.”

Nothing but an eye roll followed, ignoring him and storming into her room. He followed in pursuit, the first time any kind of behavior like this from Minho had happened before. Sitting on the edge of the side of her bed, you turned away as you took off your jewelry, precious earring and delicate chain necklace lying on this decorative plate placed on the bedside table.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Can we please stop pretending like there isn’t something going on between us?”

He was not serious. His bold statement made you stop, turn around and face him.

“You have to be joking right now.”

“Why would I be joking?”

“Minho” you yelled, standing back up and right in front of him, “this is nothing but a fucking game to you! We don't have a problem, YOU do.”

“I don’t play games with you,” Minho scoffed, eyes wide in his own disbelief, “you play games with me.” His voice was also beginning to rise in volume.

“That’s such a fucking lie! You’ve been playing games with me for years. Three quarters of my life! I know that you hated me or couldn’t stand me for most of that but then all of a sudden you come back from college and you want to be around me and all over me?”

“That’s not true-”

“Yes it is! You couldn’t stand me!! Then the kiss in the kitchen? Tonight, you were all over me and I could tell, drunk or sober, that you were enjoying yourself. Until your friends come along and I’m nothing but a secret little game-”

“No Y/n, shut up, that's not true!”

“Explain yourself then!”

Both of your chests were heaving simultaneously, the heated exchange taking the breath out of the two of you. There was no part of you that was wrong, and you knew better than to lack confidence, especially to someone who has kicked you around for what felt like your whole life.

“I never hated you,” he whispered, once again shifting the tense atmosphere in the room. He took a step closer, that goddamn palm resting on your cheek, fingertips pushing the baby hairs sticking to your forehead as you took him in, listening deeply to his words, “I could never hate somebody like you, Y/n.”

His tonality had become the softest you had ever heard someone speak. It was empowering to keep him on his toes, gaze fixated on him, but lips refusing to move. You could see it. The dip in his own gaze below your eye line, past the tip of your nose, and right to where you wanted his lips to be: your lips. The right thing, like your previous thoughts, was to pull away, save yourself the heartbreak.

“Let me take the time to show you how false that statement really is.”

But god, was it it easier to just give him. His approach was gentle, but the texture of his lips felt like the key to everything. The light weight of his lips were equivalent to a tuft of feathers falling from a clear sky. Your lips tussled in return, wanting to kiss the man you were in love with so much passion, yet so much reservation. His lips, unlike the first time, had so much admiration for you, somehow the feeling was communicated in the way his lips touched yours, the way his tongue slipped into your mouth, colliding with your own. The world stopped spinning, and the only thing that mattered was Minho’s lingering touch.

His hands scrambled to find an appropriate spot. His palms spread across your waist, the pressure of his weight pushing you to the edge of the bed, a small shriek escaping your lips as the sudden knock of balance leaves you lying against the material of the bed. His hands left your sides, one coming to your face as he broke away, taking a moment to admire you underneath him in all your beauty. He lifted his fingers to your forehead, brushing the baby hairs on your skin before smiling and leaning back in for another kiss. Hands around his neck, you brought him closer, gasping into his mouth when you felt the roughness of his knee conveniently sitting between your inner thigh, spreading to make room for his own.

You decided to take the liberty of breaking the kiss back this time, Minho rising on his own as he pulled his shirt off in one swift motion. Even the way he moved his limbs was majestic. Eyes widening for a brief moment as the shock of Minho’s body that you had seen many times, especially post-college transformation, it still amazed you how attractive this man was. The proximity all these years amounting to this moment. All the teasing, ignoring, negative behavior came as the collateral of coming to this moment; and you would tolerate all of it again if this what it would lead to. Which is why you refused to rush things, savor the moment as much as you could.

“Minho, wait.”

“Yes?”

“Can we just,” you were hesitant to ask for what felt like a silly request, “I don’t want to rush anything. Can we just make out a little longer?”

His chuckle was one of the most adored. He nodded as he got up from the bed, sitting back down at the edge of the right side. As he turned to put his leg atop of the bed, he leant on his left elbow, patting the empty spot next to him, a very adorable invitation that you simply could not resist. You shooed over, facing Minho as he pinched your chin, bringing your lips to his again. The kisses, for the moment, stayed soft, sweet. He was allowing you to take your time because he was ready. Minho wanted you so bad, but he knew better than to rush. If anything, the anticipation made him fall for you more.

However, the heat was unconsciously beginning to turn up once bodies became involved. The subtle grind of his hips against yours was sending you into a frenzy, and the friction was something you needed to chase. At first you were holding back, only wanting the generosity of his tongue and lips, but now the selfish part of you was taking over, and there was nothing more that you wanted than to have sweet passionate sex with the man in front of you. Gently pushing his chest away, he looked up, confused as you turned away from him, standing up and undoing the zip on the back of your dress.

“Oh,” was all he could say, a smirk plastered on his face as he dragged your body back toward him, now covered in undergarments, back to the bed. His hands became a lot more adventurous, taking the signal of you undressing yourself as an acceleration of what you wanted. Still facing each other, Minho placed a gentle peck to your lips as his arms wrapped around your waist, bringing you much closer to him, and exactly where you wanted to be.

Once the lack of space was established, Minho brought the tip of his digits just above your panty line. A small gasp elicited from your lips once his fingers dipped down to your clothing covering your core. Just above the center of the folds. Minho’s lips quiver at your body relaxing underneath his touch. The more vulnerable you became, the more in love he fell with you. Each second. Your eyes fluttering almost shut, hips gently bucking underneath the pressure of his fingers had his mind screaming with adoration. His gaze was making you shy, causing you to bury your head in his naked chest. You giggled with innocence at how good his fingers felt. The other times you reminisced, romanticized what this would be like was tenfold of what you actually expected.

“You’re so beautiful” he whispered, a soft kiss to the tip of your forehead. Your head came out of his chest, a somewhat fucked out expression already coatign your face as his fingers traveled back to the top of your panties, fingers grasping the hem before asking, “Can I take this off?”

You nodded, this time without hesitance as you turned to your front, assisting Minho in letting the thin fabric subtracted from your body. Your bra soon followed, leaving you completely exposed. Minho still had his pants on which you felt to be a little unfair, but the tent that was beginning to form in his pants was a reason enough for him to keep them on longer.

Turning back to your side, you reached him in another sensual kiss, bodies now as close as they had even been. Minho’s fingers had much more to travel, left palm already reaching for a gentle squeeze of your best breast. His touch was noticeable enough to break away, a small groan at the digits brushing your nipple. Another chuckle escaped his lips as he watched your nipples get harder under his touch.

“Wow,” Minho gasped, gently pinching the soft flesh his eyes couldn’t help but be glued to, “you look amazing.”

“Do I?”

“More than I could have ever imagined.”

Your silence made him giggle, fingers snaking back down to where the two of you wanted them to be. It was almost embarrassing how easily his index and middle finger slipped between your folds, already coated in your arousal as his digits swirled around your pussy hole. It was evident that he wanted his fingers coated, so when he brought them up to his lips, tongue evidently out as he licked them clean, then slid them back down to your waist once more, spreading your folds apart and pushing on your clit like a button. Your hands grabbed onto his shoulders for support, the sudden amount of sensation in comparison to before sending you into a frenzy. Your jaw had already become slick, the gentle whines and moans spilling out sound after sound.

“Fuck,” He cursed under his breath, lips right in front of your tits, teeth grazing over the geneoristy of the skin, “you have the features of an angel.”

His shower of compliments caused a louder moan to slip from your lips. It really wasn’t something that you expected. The fantasy you had of Minho being a rough, man handling lover contrasted to the man that presented in front of you right now. But it was much better than anything you ever thought he was to be.

His fingers moved in delicate circular motions, Minho himself groaning at how pretty you looked under his fingers. He kept his curiosity peaked, fingers traveling back down to your hole before plunging them inside, tips instantly curling to bring his lips right up against his own.

“Minho oh my god,” you gasped, short breaths hinting at a rapid pace from your throat as he started to move them back and forth, “your fingers are so good.”

“Your welcome,” he smiled, wrapping his free arm around your chest to adjust for the way your torso squirmed against him. Your own hands soothing his arm that did all the work as he picked up his pace, a slight bump forming into your pussy. Minho’s pace became quickly unforgiven, a spill of curse words that made you feel extremely dirty coming from your mouth. The irony of feeling dirty from cussing and not from the two fingers being shoved into your whole was comedic.

“Lift it,” Minho grunted, attempting to fix his position so he could get a better angle to finger you from, “lift your leg and put it on my hip.”

You did as he said, a gut wrenching moan that was bubbling in your throat bursting at the seams as your maneuver allowed his finger to enter deeper, stronger, harder. The combination of skin slapping and wetness could be heard by anyone in the house if there was anyone in there, the noise echoing the room as you watch his eyebrows furrow, bitten bottom lip in concentration. All this time, Minho wanted nothing more than to see you be happy, make you feel good. It was in half disbelief that he was present in this moment that he had dreamed of several times. And his perception of you, with his fingers inside of you, moaning his name over and over exceeded expectations to say the least. The temperature that began to rise on your cheeks was spreading to your limbs, muscles slowly coiling as the pleasure continued to build at your core. Minho’s jaw clenched, increasing his effort and strength in, with much effort, fucking you with his fingers. His pace became even quicker, desperate and motivated to make you shake under his fingers.

“Minho please,” you cried, suffocating his lips with yours to muffle the continuous noise that baffled the room, “so good.”

Your sentences, if you could even call them that, were not coherent in the slightest. Yet it did not matter. All Minho could focus on was how beautiful you looked with your lips pouted, the gentle teeth marks under your bottom lip from biting down on your precious skin too hard. The condensation beginning to cover the skin of your forehead as your eyebrows scrunched together, your facial expression could have been interpreted as anger. However, Minho failed to see it that way. He saw you as nothing but an angelic woman that he had the gratitude of being allowed to share a moment of vulnerability with. There was no judgment in his eyes as he felt your tight pussy clench around his knuckles, knowing how close to what you were, and what he wanted to achieve for your sake.

“It’s okay baby,” he whispered, wiping the moisture glistening on the nose, half of your face shimmering in the moonlight as he withdrew his fingers, rubbing the sensual juices all over your swollen clit as your legs began to shake in response to the overwhelming stimulation you were experiencing.

“Can you feel it?”

“Mhhm,” you whined, suppressing your lips together as you focused on him, analyzing to him the intricate details of your body. His lips moved with vigor, leaving a string of semi wet kisses along your shoulder, kissing every little skin contusion, beauty mark, scab, wrinkle, dimple. You name it, Minho was eager to use his lips to analyze you, analyze the way your skin felt against him. The idea increased your arousal to a level you thought would not be possible.

“I’m gonna cum Minho I-”

“It’s okay baby,” Minho hushed you, wanting to relive any pressures or expectations you may think you need to fulfill “even the way you speak such vulgar things is angelic to me.”

“I’m cumming,” was all you could cry out. You know that once this was over, you would be appreciative of how gentle and warm his presence was to you during this unguarded moment, but right now all you could focus on was the tight coil in the pit of your stomach that would give out at any second. Like your foreshadowed, your body was coming undone under him, Minho unable to give up the succulent ability that was your pussy as he reinserted his two fingers back into your hole, thumb almost ghosting over your clit in an attempt to not overwhelm your body in sensation.

Minho thought you couldn’t get any more fascinating. Even the way you orgasmed was angelic. Legs spread wide open as you let him have his way. The trust you developed in him in this intricate moment was such an attraction but mainly an appreciation. He knew that he had not been the most trustworthy person to you. His mixed signals and just overall treatment of you was simply a mind of confusion.

On the contrary, every negative moment that you shared with him melted away. The part of him having his fingers inside of you, bringing you to climax was not what you were focused on. You were focused on the attention. Solely the attention, his words held so much more weight than his actions to you in this moment, and all he did was mumble sweet nothings, adoring every single part of you that you wanted Minho to love.

“Fuck baby,” Minho groaned, finally withdrawing his fingers entirely from your core as he palmed his own arousal. But he merely wasted any time on that as he stood up and discarded his pants in an instant. A half lidded gasp came from your throat as you watched his length spring free from the suffocation of his previous undergarments. Minho laid back on the bed, back against the bed as you extended a hand in which you willingly took, enjoying the sudden rapture that Minho had tangled the two of you in. His fingertips came to your face once more, brushing those delicate strands away as he took his precious time. Willingly ignoring the fact that your very slicked up pussy was creating friction against his tip, he was more focused on your face. The crinkles underneath your eyes that came up when you smiled. The way your lips turned upwards in the slightest. The longer he looked up at you, on his lips, body pressed up against his, the more he fell in love. Both of your hands now came to his face. It felt like hours upon hours that the two of you had been looking at each other. Calmness fell over the room as you leant down to kiss him again. The taste of him was simply nor enough. You needed him. On you, next to you; it did not matter. His presence was something that you truly craved. Sexually, platonically, romantically, it did not matter. Any closeness with Minho was more than adequate. Deciding to lift your hips slightly, your hands followed, gripping him as you slowly slid onto him, a deep groan leaving his lips, a soft moan leaving yours as he stretched you out. Before you could even initiate any moment, Minho grabbed your arm lifting your palm to his face as he sent kisses up your arm, almost as if he was in complete disbelief of what was happening in this moment.

“I just want to worship you my god,” he whispered, making you giggle in the slightest.

His lips traveled just under your shoulder, arms wrapping around his torso to bring you into another embrace. It was that his strength was brute enough to lift you up, and put your back down. Hisbody almost moved with vigor, wanting to make sure the experience was an equal one. A sharp whine came from you as he established a gentle pace, your whole body being used in an attempt to pleasure the both of you. Someone may have seen this as selfish, Minho controlling the pace, but really, he just couldn’t get enough of how much he wanted you. The amount of times he had thought about this moment over the years almost derailed him. But nothing could be more perfect than the moment right now.

Your arms were wrapped around his neck, then on his chest, across his face, you were too stimulated to be organized with your hand placements. It’s just what he did to you. Minho could tell that you were unsure, so instead he just put his head in your chest, almost wanting you to wrap your fingers though the bse of his scalp, the gentle texture of your fingers against his scalp could have honestly made his toes curl. Just like you, Minho craved your touch in any way shape or form, so the combined combainton of your closeness, tussling digits, and tight pussy was sending him into a headspin.

“Minho,” you hesitated, unsure, if he could hear you in the muffle of your chest, “Minho.”

You were desperate for him to hear you, yanking on his locks to pull him away from the darkness and back into your gaze. His eyes were glazed over for a moment, an innocent peaking on them as he looked up at you with intent.

“Yes my princess, my Y/n?”

“Yours?”

The skin slapping, volume of each time your ass landed on his hips was increasing, but no matter the crescendo, it was never loud enough to get in the way of the intimate looks the two of you had a silent agreement to fixate on.

“Mine,” he moaned, hands snaking back down to your hips, breaking this distance and once again guiding the speed of how fast he filled you up, “all mine.”

“You’re so gorgeous,” you mumbled, barely able to talk at this point, “I want you so bad you have no idea.”

“You have me,” he almost chanted, “you have me. I have you. Always.”

Your head rolled back, the intimacy of his words, rather than his cock, bringing you closer to the brink of pleasure. The attractiveness of finally putting his walls down, striking his fear of vulnerability was unmatchable. Even if things didn’t work out with Minho in the future, you knew that deep down, no one else could ever make you feel this way. Minho was a witch, and the spell he was casting on you was something that would be everlasting.

“I love you,” you cried, throwing your head back in somewhat embarrassment, “I love you Minho.”

“I love you too baby fuck,” he grunted, increasing the strength in which he filled your pussy. He couldn’t handle this anymore. Flipping you over, his body hovered, cock pressing your back into the mattress. On his knees, Minho trusted deeper and deeper, your eyes almost cloudy from how good he truly felt inside of you. Another sensuous kiss ensured, the combination of his deep moans and your vibrating whines slipped into each other 's, easily one of the most intimate things that could ever be done.

“Mhhm,: You whined, breaking away and placing a hand on his face, “I fucking love you.”

“I fucking love you, my Y/n.”

“Oh god,” you breathe heavily, free hand gripping on his shoulder, “I love when you call me that?”

“What? My Y/n?”

“Yes,” you hissed, piercing into his eyes, this time with vigor, “it makes me yearn for you.”

“You have me baby,” he smirked, eyebrows soon furrowing as he realized his hips were getting sloppy in motion, “I’m all yours.”

You could not stop kissing him. He was just too hard to resist. His words, actions, everything, you were so in love that your chest began to hurt. That pit was developing again, and all he had to do was say the words and you were there. Minho took your hand away from his face, pinning them on either side of you as he slid his fingers in between, allowing your hand to intertwine with yours. The affection was the icing on your cake, because as you felt the swirls of his finger prints trickle onto your palm, your hips were spasming.

“Minho I’m-”

“I know baby, it’s okay, he cooed, “I can feel your pussy clenching hard.”

A little giggle escaped your lips as your body raked itself of an orgasm. Back arching, the loudest noise you could have possibly made erupted from your mouth, the unintentionally new angle allowing Minho to plunge even deeper, keeping it slow as he allowed you to come down from the high. He pulled out right after, pumping himself a few times before finishing just above your core. He fell to your side, immediately lifting your body, wanting to feel that constant warmth as he placed your head against his chest, arms wrapped around your back as he kissed the mount of hair in front of his face. His heartbeat was warm, fast, but stil, a sense of comfort felt over your body as you listened to the organ pump in his chest. The moment was silent, yet comfortable, the both of you simultaneously soaking in that delicacy of affection that you both oh so craved, longed for.

Even after all of that, you still had the energy to do so. Minho read your mind, giving you a quick peck before quickly pacing out of the room. The ache in your heart had already reappeared at his absence. The craving would never stop. Luckily he was quick, grabbing a paper towel, cleaning you up, running back to the bin, the running back and jumping onto the bed, your body flying in the air as he caught you, snuggling up to your side with his head pressed into your chest. Your hand came to his hair, letting those fingertips frolic across his scalp. A silence fell over the room as the two of you simultaneously stared at the ceiling, the dim shine of the moonlight shining through the window, lingering across Minho’s side profile.

“I was being serious, you know.”

“About what?”

“Hating you.”

Minho turned onto his chest, wanting to make sure that you were staring at him when he said this.

“I could never hate you Y/N, my Y/N.”

He crawled up to your side, tall enough to press one more kiss, lips lingering across yours as your eyes fluttered shut from his touch. Lifting the cover, Minho invites you under after climbing in first, turning to the side to hover over your now very tired frame. Lips nudged behind your warm Minho kept mumbling, a combination of kissing you and whispering, the tiny vibrations from his voice tickling the bare skin.

“You’ll have to kill more before I ever let you go.”

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03jyh23 · 2 months

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🩶⌇nights like these┆choi san

established relationship, idol!san x gn!reader

│synopsis: the one where you are san's priority

│genre: hurt/comfort

│trigger warnings: descriptions of chronic illness, pain, nausea, and emotional distress

│words: 2.4 k

│reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi there my lovely people! this one is a requested work that is very important to me! the person who requested it shared their struggles with me, so i put a lot of care and effort into writing this piece. i hope it brings them comfort and resonates with anyone else going through similar challenges. thank you for trusting me with your story. ♡

love, monika ♡

you: sannie, im sorry but im not gonna make it tonight, have fun! love you x

You barely typed out the message and leaned deeper into the soft pillows. You hated feeling that way, feeling completely out of control of your own body. It was as if your own flesh and bones had turned against you, conspiring to ruin the moments you had been looking forward to. Another rush of nausea hit you, stronger this time, and you couldn't help but wrap your arms around yourself, trying to find some semblance of comfort. The persistent and haunting question lingered in your mind: Why were you so out of control? You wished you could muster the strength to push through, to be by San's side, but tonight, your body had other plans. You were helpless against a body that sabotaged all your important plans. You wanted the energy to be with San, to support him and not to disappoint the person you loved yet again, but tonight, you knew there was nothing you could do to feel better. You just needed to lay through it

After all this time of having this health problem, you learned just how to live with it, so since early morning you tried to push the symptoms aside, focusing on getting ready. It was a routine you had perfected—ignoring the pain, the nausea, the overwhelming fatigue. You had become a master of disguise, hiding your struggles behind a cheerful facade. But tonight, even your best efforts weren't enough.

Usually, you would go about with your day, that's why you were currently lying flat on your bed dressed in that pretty outfit San bought for you especially for tonight, all ready to go and celebrate with him. Just as you were about to leave, the usual symptoms hit you with the power of a train. It was as if your body had chosen this exact moment to remind you of its frailty, to assert its dominance over your will. Tonight was supposed to be different. Tonight, you were supposed to be standing beside San, holding his hand and cheering for him. You had been looking forward to this night for weeks, planning every detail. The thought of disappointing him weighed heavily on you, maybe even heavier than the nausea. You knew how much it meant to him to have you there, and the guilt gnawed at you from the inside.

A burning stomach pain flared up, adding to the discomfort. It felt as though your insides were on fire, each wave of pain more intense than the last. You clutched your stomach, curling up tighter, wishing for some relief. The pain was relentless, a cruel reminder of the battle you were fighting within your own body. It was moments like these when you felt most defeated, most vulnerable.

"Baby?" you opened your heavy eyes only to see San kneeling beside the bed, eye level with you. You didn't even notice you had fallen asleep. His eyes were filled with concern, his short, black hair was styled back, making him look incredibly elegant. He wore a white shirt with the first few buttons casually unbuttoned. His eye makeup was minimal, with just a hint of eyeliner to accentuate his eyes, exactly the way you always liked it. He must have rushed out straight from his dressing room, you thought as you blinked a few times to get rid of the tiredness.

"Sannie? What are you doing here?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

San reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair away from your face.

"I just had a feeling that today is rough on you. You didn't reply to any of my calls, so I rushed home," he said softly, his voice filled with concern and love. "I couldn't just leave you here alone," he said softly. "I wanted to be here for you."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't want to ruin your night," you whispered, your voice cracking with emotion.

San shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "Hey, don't say that. You could never ruin my night. I just want to be here with you, make sure you're okay," he reassured, his hand gently stroking your head. Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at him, overwhelmed by his kindness.

"I just hate feeling like this, being a burden," you admitted, your voice trembling.

San’s expression softened even more. His fingers traced the few tears that managed to escape your eyes, then he kissed your forehead whispering, "You never are nor never will be a burden." You closed your eyes, feeling the gentle touch of his soft lips against your skin, a tingling warmth spreading through you. The tension in your muscles began to melt away as San’s fingers traced soothing patterns along your arm. You took a deep breath, allowing the warmth of his presence to envelop you. The pain and nausea, though still present, seemed to fade into the background as you focused on the steady rhythm of his touch.

"But the party?" you mumbled out, "The boys must be so disappointed."

San shook his head gently, his expression softening even more. "Don't worry about them right now. The boys understood, and Hongjoong reassured me it was all good. What's important is that we take care of you," he said soothingly, his fingers continuing to trace comforting patterns on your arm.

"Thank you, Sannie," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. "For being here."

He kissed your forehead again, lingering a bit longer this time. "Of course, my love. Always," he whispered back, his breath warm against your skin. You could hear the sincerity in his voice, and it eased some of the guilt that had been weighing you down. "Can you stand up? We need to get you in something comfortable first," San suggested gently, his hands ready to help you. You nodded weakly, grateful for his help as he eased you out of the outfit and into something more comfortable.

"Is it any better now that you've slept for a while?" he asked, his voice filled with gentle concern as he rearranged the pillows on the bed. He brought an extra blanket, knowing you would likely get cold.

"A little," you admitted, your voice still weak but filled with gratitude. "But I can feel the migraine creeping in slowly," you added, your voice tinged with fatigue and frustration.

San nodded, his brow furrowing slightly with worry. "I'll get your medication and some water," he said, standing up to fetch the items.

"I don't think I can take the medications," you admitted, your voice trembling slightly. "It feels like if I swallow anything, I would just rush to the toilet."

San paused, his eyes filled with concern. "Okay, let's not push it then," he said softly, returning to your side. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you close to rest your head on his shoulder. You could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest, a soothing rhythm that started to calm your racing thoughts. He began drawing gentle patterns on your back, a gesture that always made you relax, his touch tender.

You breathed in his cologne and felt your stomach clenching. The scent, usually comforting and familiar, now seemed overwhelming to your already sensitive senses. You backed out from his arms, holding a hand to your face to stave off the wave of nausea that threatened to overtake you. San looked at you with wide eyes, his brows furrowing slightly in confusion and concern before it hit him. "Love, I'm so sorry, it's the perfume? Too strong? I'm gonna change," he said hurriedly, already moving towards the closet to find something else to wear.

"It's okay, Sannie," you mumbled, trying to muster a reassuring smile. "I just need a moment."

But San had already swapped his formal shirt for something more comfortable and less scented. He returned to your side, "Better now?" he asked softly, his eyes searching for any sign of relief.

You only nodded, and he took your hand, guiding you to the bed. "You are babying me too much," you mumbled as you followed in his steps, your voice tinged with a mix of gratitude and mild embarrassment.

San shook his head, a playful glint in his eyes. "Hm...." he scoffed dramatically, "I think I don't baby you enough, though?"

You couldn't help but let out a small laugh despite the pain and discomfort you were feeling. San's dramatic tone and exaggerated expression brought a moment of lightness to an otherwise heavy night. "Really?" you asked, raising an eyebrow at him, trying to match his playful energy.

"Absolutely," he replied with a grin, sitting down beside you. "Now, let's get you settled." You settled back into the bed, feeling a bit more at ease with San by your side. The pain and nausea were still there, but somehow, with his presence, they seemed a little more bearable. "Do you need me to bring something?" San asked, his voice filled with genuine concern.

You shook your head slightly, feeling the weight of his love and care enveloping you. "Just stay here with me, that's all I need," you whispered.

"Alright, I will just put the curtains in case the migraine hits," he said as he quickly darted through the room to the windows. You watched him with tired eyes, the room dimmed as he drew the curtains, blocking out the harsh light that often worsened your migraines. The soft, muted light that remained was much gentler on your senses.

San returned to your side, his movements gentle and deliberate, as if he were afraid of causing you any more discomfort. "Scoot over," San said softly, a gentle smile playing on his lips. You shifted slightly, making room for him on the bed. He carefully climbed in beside you, wrapping his arms around you.

"Thank you for being so patient with me. I really needed you tonight," you whispered, your voice filled with gratitude.

San held you a little tighter, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what," he murmured softly. San was drawing small circles on your back, your face buried in his chest. Your eyes were heavy, the migraine setting in, and you could feel the pressure building behind your temples. The gentle, rhythmic motion of his hand was soothing, a small comfort amidst the pain and discomfort, allowing you to relax slightly despite the throbbing in your head.

Just as you began to drift off to sleep, your body started trembling uncontrollably. The sudden tremors jarred you awake, and you felt a wave of panic wash over you. San immediately noticed, his grip tightening around you in a protective embrace.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm here," he whispered, his voice steady and calming. He gently rubbed your back, trying to soothe your body. "Just breathe, love. I'm right here with you." You focused on his voice, on the warmth of his presence, trying to steady your breath. The trembling slowly began to subside, and you clung to San, feeling a mixture of fear and relief. "Are you feeling dizzy again? Like the last time?" San asked, his voice tinged with concern.

You nodded weakly, the dizziness making it hard to focus on anything. "Yeah, it's just... everything is spinning," you managed to whisper, clutching onto him. You closed your eyes, trying to steady your breathing as San's presence provided a comforting anchor. The room seemed to tilt and spin, but his calming voice and gentle touch helped you stay grounded. "I'm sorry, San," you murmured, feeling a wave of guilt wash over you.

San shook his head, his expression filled with love and reassurance. "Don't apologize, my love. You can't control this, and I'm here to help you through it," he murmured softly. "I will keep you safe," he whispered, his voice filled with unwavering determination and love. "Just rest," he murmured softly. "I'll be right here with you." You nodded, feeling the weight of exhaustion pulling you under. San's hand continued to trace soothing patterns on your back, his touch gentle and reassuring. Gradually, your breathing steadied, and you found yourself relaxing into his embrace.

As you drifted in and out of sleep, you could feel San's steady heartbeat beneath your cheek, a rhythm that grounded you. Hours passed in a blur of half-conscious moments and deep, dreamless sleep. Every time you stirred, San was there, his presence a steady source of comfort and love. You could feel his fingers brushing through your hair, his lips pressing gentle kisses to your head. He held you through the worst of it, never once leaving your side.

When you finally woke, the pain had dulled to a manageable throb, and the nausea had receded enough for you to sit up slightly. San was still there, his eyes filled with concern and relief as he saw you stir.

"Hey," he said softly, a gentle smile playing on his lips as he looked at you with concern. "How are you feeling?"

You took a deep breath, assessing your condition and trying to gather your thoughts. "A bit better," you admitted, your voice still weak but more stable than before. The remnants of fatigue lingered, but you felt a small spark of improvement.

"I'm glad to hear that," San replied, his smile growing a bit wider with relief. "Do you think you can eat something light? Maybe some broth or a bit of toast?"

You nodded slowly, appreciating his care and the gentle way he always seemed to know what you needed. "I think I could try," you said, feeling a bit more hopeful at the thought of eating something.

"Alright, let me order something, hm?" San said, giving you a reassuring smile as he gently helped you sit up against the pillows, adjusting them to make sure you were comfortable.

"Thank you, Sannie," you whispered, feeling a surge of gratitude for his unending support and the way he always put your well-being first.

San smiled warmly, his eyes filled with love and tenderness. "Anything for you, my love," he said, placing a soft kiss on your lips, his touch gentle and comforting. As he reached for his phone to place the order, you couldn't help but feel a deep sense of gratitude and love for having someone like San by your side, through thick and thin.

♡│if you enjoy my writing please consider supporting me by tagging and reblogging│

♡│requests are open │

#san x reader #san x you #san x y/n #san x gn reader #ateez x reader #ateez x you #ateez x y/n #ateez x gn reader #san fluff #choi san fluff #san fanfic #san drabble

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phantomantz · 1 month

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some changes i would have made to the characters storylines in tua s4

disclaimer: i am no writer, it's just fun to think about the possibilities. btw anyone feel free to use any of these ideas for fics idc

lila doesn't cheat for starters. instead she and diego have both been secretly doing vigilante missions and keeping it from the other because they think they'll be mad. on one of these missions the two run into each other and rekindle their spark. basically the five and lila story but with diego and lila instead thanks. maybe one or both of them almost die or their kids are put in danger, and they decide to find a much less dangerous hobby, because while its thrilling in the moment they realize they wouldn't sacrifice their family for it

luther is shown to be much more depressed about sloanes absence (if there really is no way for her to come back) but he's trying to hold it together to be there for his family. would be nice if he bonded with characters like klaus, viktor or allison who have also lost their lovers. diego and lila shenanigans means they need luther to babysit a lot and luther finds happiness caring for his nieces and nephew. maybe he also finds a fulfilling job where he can meet a lot of people and help others.

five still finds the time subway but without lila. we get more time exploring the alternate timelines and seeing different ways the apocalypse has happened including ways the other sibs have ended the world. his PTSD and reliving his trauma is also explored. he eventually ends up in the five diner where he's told that they end the world every time but instead of excepting defeat and making everyone sacrifice themselves he finds another way (what exactly that is im not so sure) and becomes the first and only five to successfully prevent the apocalypse forever

allisons relationship with claire and ray are explored more heavily as well as everything she did in s3. i like the idea that she takes care of klaus because 1: hes the only sibling that will still talk to her and 2: because of the guilt she feels after getting him killed. i just wish her arc focused on something OTHER than saving klaus because thats basically all she did this season. would be nice if she spent more time with viktor and luther the two people she wronged most heavily in s3.

i would keep viktors confrontation with reggie but alternatively i would make this reginald umbrella reginald so it has much more weight to it. either that or have viktor express that even though he said his piece toward this reggie he will never actually get closure with their real father and nothing will remove the pain from his childhood. the rest i would keep pretty similar. reginald wants to kill ben and viktor wants to stop him at any cost. viktor knows what its like to be "the bomb" and doesn't want the same thing that happened to him to happen to ben. instead of working together to find ben however they're more in a race against eachother. maybe allison joins him and they make up on the way. i would have liked for ben and viktor to have had a heart to heart in the beginning of the season, maybe about how ben felt like a monster sometimes because of his powers, and viktor relating. idk how this would work with sparrow ben because he doesn't seem to hate his powers the same way brelly ben did but it would have been nice to show another reason why viktor is going through so much trouble to save him. and the ending where he trys to talk him down would be more impactful i think.

for klaus i would keep everything pretty much the same up until he runs into that quinn guy. instead i would have him travel to the subway with five in lilas place. five and klaus' powers are the most mind boggling out of the bunch not to mention time and death are inherently intertwined and this needed to be explored. also, you're telling me klaus literally has the power to talk to GOD and this never has any plot relevance???? klaus should have been involved in finding the solution to the apocalypse imo. also we needed klaus and ben interactions. idk how or when but it NEEDED to happen

ben and jennifer being the catalyst for the apocalypse is making it very hard for me to figure what to do with him tbh. i just wish he had more time with the other sibs and didn't turn into a horrific blob monster at the end 😭he felt less like a character this season and more like a plot device and he deserved to have some scenes that actually fleshed him out. it would have been cool if the reason he causes the apocalypse was actually because of his powers and not just because he happened to be the one to make skin contact with jennifer. i really thought that the twist was gonna be that the squid that jennifer was stuck in was the one that ben summons and that was why they were connected. not the fact that they both just had reactive magic particles in them that anyone could have set off. like what if jennifer being cut out of the squid was what killed ben?

OH! what if jennifer was an eldritch horror from the same dimension that bens tentacles are from and for some reason she wants to kill the brellys/end the world and because bens powers are linked to her she can control his mind ???? c'mon i feel like i've got something here

a have a couple of other ideas but don't know where they would fit in rn so yeah.

#the umbrella academy #tua s4 #tua spoilers #tua s4 spoilers #tua season 4 #umbrella academy #diego hargreeves #five hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #luther hargreeves #ben hargreeves #lila pitts #reginald hargreeves #jennifer grossman

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biggestsukunafan · 3 months

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‘Cologne’

Gojo Satoru x Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

Warnings : 18+, angst, smut (only happens once), cheating, depressing thoughts, toxic, gojo being a walking talking red flag (sorry guys), happy ending though!

word count : 8,844 words (i was so bored!!)

Playlist! :

story will be under the cut, enjoy! <3

‘If you wanna go back home, leave the scent of your cologne… ‘

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ BACKSTORY

Satoru and I met when we were younger, and we had a lot of things in common. At the time, him and I were both pretty lonely people, and found each other, which led to us becoming pretty good friends. We started dating in high school, both of us thinking they had something special.

But, over time, we realized they just weren't good for each. Him and I broke up on good terms, but we were both a bit hurt, and it took a while for them to heal..

So what are we doing? Why are we doing this..?

After some time, our friendship slowly started to become something more. Since both of us had a mutual attraction towards each other, they started to use each other a way to get some stress relief. The issue?

Satoru feels a bit guilty, he knows that he has a partner, yet everytime he calls you to be with you, he just finds himself driving over to your place. He knows they both have a guilty conscience.

Despite that, the guilt doesn't affect us enough to stop meeting up. It's just a fun little arrangement, Satoru tells himself as an excuse. He hates how he finds himself constantly wanting more, when he should be satisfied with how things are right now. He tells himself he shouldn't be getting any deeper attachments than what they already have, they were each other's exes, and they're both pretty messed up in different ways. They were both aware of this and how it would never last.

Satoru has a girlfriend. He's perfectly aware of that, yet he still finds himself coming over to y/n. He's perfectly aware that what he's doing is morally wrong, and he does feel guilt about it, though it doesn't quite affect him enough to stop. He's good at putting up a front and acting normally around everyone, though he's struggling to hold down the guilt, shame, and regret he's feeling.

He and his girlfriend are actually pretty happy together. She doesn't know about this though, she has no clue that Satoru has been cheating on her behind her back.

He feels guilty knowing he's going behind her back and sneaking around, yet here he is. Still doing what he's doing. He just tells himself that it's just for fun, something to let his steam off, and there's no way he's going to develop feelings. He just has to keep this up until he either gets caught, or gets tired of doing this.

But he's not quite sure if he'll be able to get tired of it..

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ ACT 1.

It was a sunny morning. The sun peeked out through the window shining brightly as the rays hit your iris. You look around seeing as he is next to you, sprawled out on his stomach, face pressed into the pillow. He looks pretty peaceful during his sleep. His hair is messy, and he's got his arm loosely around your waist. His skin is littered with a few scratches, and you can see a few bite marks on his shoulders from the night before.

He slowly stirs in his sleep, his arm around your waist subconsciously tightens for a moment before he groans. He rubs his face against the pillow, getting his hair even more messy. He slowly opens his eyes, which are still a bit bleary from his grogginess.

“Good mornin’” You say softly as you chuckled at the sight of him looking like this early in the morning.

He makes another noise, burying his face in the pillow, groaning. He's not a morning person, but he slowly lifts himself up, propping himself up using one arm while his other arm is still loosely wrapped around your waist. He blinks his eyes a few times, before looking over you, his eyes raking up and down your bare body. He can see all the marks and scratches he left on you last night, and he lets out a few more tired noises.

“Looks like I left a lot of marks..” He says, still in a sleepy and groggy tone. A small smirk appears on his face when he sees all the bite marks, scratches, and hickeys covering your body from his previous activities. He shifts his body onto his side, facing you, and his free hand moves over your body, gently tracing some of the marks with a feather-like touch.

“..You look pretty good like this..” He mumbles, his hand tracing your body for a few moments, before it moves to your face, as his hand cups one of your cheeks, his thumb gently brushing against your skin. He leans his face closer, and nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, his arm now wrapping around your waist, and pulling your body closer towards him.

“Well aren’t you sweet today..” You giggled as you ran your fingers through his hair lovingly.

“I’m always sweet..” He softly huffs out, but it’s muffled against your neck. His body presses close against yours, clinging onto you like a koala. His hand is still gently petting and messing with your hair, and he’s also nuzzling his head against your shoulder and neck. He’s acting a bit clingy this morning, as he’s typically not this clingy.

It suddenly hit you.. right. He only acts like this when him and his girlfriend fought. You should’ve known better. That’s the only reason why he called anyways. How stupid of you to think he might’ve actually loved you. How pathetic that you thought he would actually choose you.

He’s pretty much glued to you, which is unusual from the usual way he acted during these times. He continues to cling onto you, nuzzling his head against you, and his arms cling onto your waist like a koala. You can tell he’s more or less upset about something, and you have one guess as to what it is. He’s been here in such a clingy state before, and it seems as though another fight or disagreement has happened.

He doesn’t say anything and simply clings onto you, trying to seek some form of comfort. Judging by his unusually clingy behavior, it seems as though the fight or disagreement between him and his girlfriend is a bit more serious this time. His head is against your shoulder, and he buries his face into the crook of your neck, his arms are wrapped around your body, keeping you close to him and refusing to let go.

The moment was ruined when a sudden phone call was heard..

ring… ring… ring..

He groaned when he heard the ringer, and then he reluctantly untangled himself from you, and leaned over to the bedside table he placed his phone on. He checked the phone, and you could tell just by the look on his face that he already knows who it is that’s calling him.

…That’s the moment I saw his eyes shine. Those aquamarine orbs showing a hint of excitement…and love..? I wondered to myself if he ever felt that way towards my calls. A pool of jealously filled my chest but i kept it inside as I listened into his call.

“Hey..” He answered the call, and his tone is surprisingly soft and gentle. It was a tone you’ve never really heard him use that much. It’s almost as though, he’s talking to a small child, or someone who he’s fond of, and he doesn’t want to upset them in any way. He had never spoken like that with you, and that realization stung deeply.

You quietly listened into his call, and you’re unable to help the jealousy that’s now filling up your chest. The way he’s talking to his girlfriend, the way he’s using an almost gentle and caring tone and being careful with his words with her, it stung you. You could clearly tell he has feelings towards her, and the thought of that stung much more. It hurt. It hurts.. why though?

He’s still on his phone, talking with his girlfriend. He’s now sitting on the edge of the bed, listening to her quietly. His back is to you, but you can see that his shoulders are a bit tense, probably with slight worry.

He’s still speaking in that soft and gentle tone, and you can clearly tell that he cares for her, and you can feel that sting again.

He’s talking with his girlfriend, and he’s lying to her about where he is. He told her that he was at a hotel room, and that he was trying to clear his head.

His words were a lot softer than usual, almost as though he was speaking to a kid. He was trying to keep the tone of his voice neutral, and was trying to avoid any further angering his girlfriend.

He listened to whatever his girlfriend was saying to him, and his expression softened, the worry seemingly subsiding. He spoke up, his tone a lot softer, as he said,

“I love you too, I’ll be back home in a bit, okay..? I love you so much baby, I’m sorry again.”

He agreed to going back home after the call, and he still had that same soft tone. He then hung up his phone, and he stood up from the bed, and started to look around, presumably for his clothes.

He’s trying to find his clothes around the room, picking up his shirt and pants, which were previously tossed onto the floor. He starts to slip his shirt on, and button it up, the same soft expression still on his face as he got dressed..

Does he even love me? Why does it have to be her.

He got dressed into his shirt and pants, and then he finally turned around to face you. His expression still has that same softness to it, but he seems to notice the expression on your face.

“..You alright..?” His expression is still soft and gentle, as he looks at you with a hint of concern.

“Oh yeah! I’m fine. Anyways, you leaving?” I asked him trying to change the topic.

He tilted his head, noticing the somewhat fake tone you used. He’s also aware that you’re masking how you’re truly feeling.

“Yeah, I have to head home..”

He responded, and walked over to you, he slowly leaned down and placed his hand on your chin, gently lifting it up to look at him. His touch was very gentle, and the same softness from his face still remained.

“I will..”

He softly chuckles. He’s still gently holding your chin, and he gently caressed your cheek with his thumb. His expression was still soft and somewhat fond as he looked down at you. He then slowly leaned down, and placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

And just like that he left, and you’re once again alone. You’ve come to expect that he always leaves in the end, so you’re not particularly surprised, just a little bit hurt. You’ve come to expect his usual behavior, but that didn’t make it sting any less. It was still painful to know that he’d always leave and run back to his girlfriend, and never choose to stay with you.

The house seemed much more silent and lonely than usual. Without him in the house, it feels a lot more cold and empty. The only evidence of his presence was the marks he left on your neck, and the scent of his cologne on the pillows you use. Otherwise, there was no indication that he was ever here in the first place. It’s as though he was never here, and once again left you behind. No different from usual.

You can’t help but feel some sort of emptiness and hollow feeling in your chest. You’re used to him leaving, but the feeling of him leaving and not coming back never stopped hurting. You’re always left alone at the end after he’s used you, and you’re left behind once more, knowing you’ll always be his second choice, and knowing that he’ll never choose you over his girlfriend.

You say you love me, but you don’t mean it.

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ ACT 2.

It’s been a few days since you last saw him, or heard from him. No calls, no texts, no visits. It’s as though he’s made himself disappear. He hasn’t made a single attempt to contact you or make any kind of effort to talk to you. It’s almost as though he’s forgotten about you once more, and left you alone to deal with your own feelings again.

You cried for days, questioning yourself as to why you’ve fallen for him when he treats you so badly. You keep asking yourself why would you love someone so much, only for them to just toss you aside. You start to despise him, yet you can’t seem to stop loving him. You want to push him away, but you can’t seem to truly let go.

Does he even truly mean those words he says to you? The words of love and affection, the “I love you’s”, the “You’re so pretty”, the soft touches and gentle words? Did he ever mean any of it? Was he only pretending? Did he only say those things to keep you wrapped around his finger?

The more you think about it, the more unsure you feel about him. You’ve fallen hard for him, and you keep wondering if any of it was real to him. The soft eyes he gave you, the gentle touches, the soft kisses, the sweet words he’d sweetly tell you; were any of it real? Or was he only using you for his own selfish needs?

The bed felt too empty without him. Having become so used to him being there, the absence of his presence on the bed as you laid down felt cold and lonely without him. The space where he’d sleep felt much more colder and bigger without him there. Without him to hold you in his arms or keep you warm, the bed felt too big and too cold.

Maybe you are selfish for wanting someone who already has a relationship with someone else. The fact that you’ve become attached and fallen in love with a man who already has a relationship with someone else is selfish, and somewhat wrong. Yet, you can’t help but love him even if you know you shouldn’t.

As you were lying on your bed in the room, an empty shell of what used to be a warm home filled with laughter and love, the rain was hard and heavy that evening. The only thing you hear apart from the rain and thunder were the sounds of the raindrops falling against the window and roof. It was a cold and desolate night, and the rain only added to the coldness of the already empty and dark apartment.

You were lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, when you suddenly heard a knock at the door. The sounds of the rain and thunder somewhat drowned out the knock, but you were able to hear it just right. You raised your head slightly, listening for another knock, and soon you heard another knock at the door once more.

“Okay okay! Jeez I’m coming.. holy shit..” I said obviously annoyed that someone was bothering my thoughts.

As you grumbled a little bit, and got up from the bed. You were a little annoyed that someone interrupted your thoughts in the middle of the night, especially considering the shitty weather today. You walked up to the door, and looked through the peephole to see who was on the other side.

Once you looked through the peephole, you could just about see his slender figure through the blurry lens. You could see that he was somewhat drenched and shivering a little bit, presumably from the cold and the rain. The rain didn’t seem to let up, as it continued to heavily pour outside.

You opened the door, and there he was standing in front of you. He was shivering a little bit, and he was a bit out of breath. His hair and clothes were mostly drenched in water from the rain, which was soaking him pretty good. He stood outside the door, looking like a dog abandoned out in the cold. He quietly spoke up, his voice hoarse and somewhat shaking from the cold.

“..Hey..”

What the fuck is he doing here? After weeks of ghosting? Why the fuck is he here infront of my door and most of all… why do i feel happy?

He’s standing in front of your door, after weeks of ghosting you and leaving you alone. It’s the middle of the night, and it’s cold and raining outside, yet there he stood in front of you; shivering, drenched in the rain, and a bit out of breath from running over to your apartment in the cold ass weather.

It’s pissing you off and you feel like cursing him out, yet at the same time, you can’t help but smile a little at finally seeing him again.

He slowly took a step closer to you, and suddenly pulled you into a hug. He pulled you against his chest, and held you tightly against himself. He’s still shaking a little bit, the cold clearly getting to him. He held you close, almost as though he was trying to soak in your body heat.

He buried his head into your shoulder, as he held onto you tightly. The cold was getting to him, and you could feel the coldness from his clothes and hair against your body. He just held you tight, not saying a word, and just keeping you close to him. It’s been a while since you last saw him, and you can’t help but feel somewhat happy to finally have him here with you again.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You asked him obviously surprised to see him.

He continues to keep his face buried into your shoulder, though a soft mumble could be heard from his cold, chattering lips. “..I wanted to see you..”

Right..

As if…

He finally picks up his head and looks down at you, the look in his eyes appearing strangely vulnerable. He stared at you for a few moments, his eyes almost appearing tired and worn out, before he spoke.

“..I missed you.”

“Bullshit. If you want to fuck just get it over with.”

He’s taken slightly off guard by your bluntness. He stares down at you for a few moments, his expression still appearing quite tired and worn out. However, after a few moments, a sly smirk appears on his face, replacing the more vulnerable expression that was there before.

“You wanna get right to the point, huh?”

Right.. that’s all I was to you huh..

It’s better to have let you have me like this rather than not have you at all.

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ ACT 3

He abruptly closes the door pushed you against it, pinning against with his body. He didn’t waste any time, and pressed his lips against yours in a deep and heated kiss. His arms were on either side of you, his body pressed against yours as he captured your lips with his.

He pushed against you even further, and deepened the kiss. He slowly slid his tongue into your mouth, exploring and savoring the taste of you. He pressed his body even closer to yours, trapping you between himself and the door. His hands started to roam your body, slowly running down your sides and resting on your hips, gripping them almost possessively.

He continued to kiss you deeply, his tongue hungrily exploring every part of your mouth. He pulled away for a moment, and then trailed kisses down the side of your neck. He began to press soft kisses and gentle bites along your neck and collarbone, not leaving any part of your skin untouched by his lips and teeth.

His hands continued to wander around your body, slowly caressing and gripping every inch of skin he could reach. He would occasionally bite or suck on sensitive parts of your skin, leaving behind faint red marks. He clearly wanted to leave a reminder of his presence on your body, even if it was only temporarily.

His lips were now sucking on your collarbone, leaving behind a bright red hickey. He gripped your hips harder, pulling you against his body even further. He continued leaving hickeys and marks all over your neck and collarbone, wanting to claim you and make you his, if only for the night.

He picked you up and carried you into the bedroom, not hesitating for a second to get to the bed. He carefully laid you down and climbed on top of you, pinning you down on the bed. His body weight was almost crushing, effectively pinning you to the bed and trapping you underneath him. He stared down at you, his eyes almost appearing hungry. He began to place kisses all over your body once more, and slowly started to remove your shirt.

He pulled your shirt over your head and threw it on the floor. He began placing kisses and biting down your chest and upper body, his tongue lapping and tasting everywhere it could reach. He seemed to be in a sort of daze; lust, hunger, and desperation clouding his mind as he left red marks all over your body.

His hands began to wander downward, slowly moving towards the waistband of your pajamas. His lips were still exploring and marking your skin; sucking on your collarbone, biting down on your shoulders, leaving no place untouched. His body pressed even further against yours, clearly trying to get as close as possible.

His hands slowly slid underneath the waistband, and his fingers began to slowly slide the pajamas down. His lips continued to pepper your skin with hot kisses, and his body still had yours effectively pinned down underneath him. He was taking everything he could get, and showing no signs of stopping anytime soon.

He pulled your pajamas down, and began to discard them to the side. He paused for a moment, staring at your body with hunger in his eyes. His breathing was slightly labored, and he looked like he was holding back with everything he had. His eyes roamed your body, almost as if he was trying to memorize every inch of it. He started to slowly run his hands over the sensitive parts of your body, his touch gentle, yet firm.

He looked down at you, his expression still looking very hungry as he stared into your eyes. However, his expression suddenly softens, and the hunger in his eyes is replaced by a look of vulnerability and affection. He slowly leaned down, and softly whispered in your ear.

“I love you.”

His words seemed genuine, almost a bit vulnerable even. However, once you heard them, they suddenly triggered a realization in you. It was as if you were suddenly jolted back to your senses, and you suddenly remember that he’s still in a relationship. He has a girlfriend, and what he’s doing right now is clearly wrong.

Once the realization hit you, you were suddenly taken out of the moment. You were snapped out of the daze, and you suddenly became aware of what you were doing. You suddenly realize the weight of the situation, and the fact that he’s still involved with someone else.

You thought back to all the times he’s come to you before. Every time, it was always after he’s had some type of argument with his girlfriend. It’s almost as if he uses you as some sort of emotional crutch, only coming to you when he’s got relationship issues.

You loved him almost obsessively, giving yourself to him whenever he came. You would do whatever he wanted, just so you could please him. You would give yourself to him, just so he would come back to you, even just temporarily. You were practically willing to ruin yourself just so you could stay with him.

You started to doubt your entire perception of love, wondering if this relationship was even healthy. You kept coming back to him, even though you knew it was wrong. You kept letting him touch and use you, even though you knew it was unhealthy. You couldn’t bring yourself to stop though, because you were so obsessed and addicted to him.

He continued to undress you, slowly and gently pulling away the last remaining fabric of clothing from your body. He was still kissing and nipping on your skin, and his hands were still roaming your body. However, you were no longer in the moment. You were lost in your own thoughts, and were barely paying attention to the sensations he was giving to you.

Despite your mind being occupied, you still made small noises here and there, as if to not make it obvious that you weren’t paying attention. You laid there, letting him do whatever he wanted to your body, even if your mind was elsewhere at the moment.

He continued to explore your body, leaving hickeys and bite marks all over your skin. However, he didn’t seem to notice that your mind was elsewhere. You still made the small noises, but they seemed almost automatic, as if your body was continuing on autopilot.

Suddenly you felt something big inside of you. It surprised you since you didn’t have any prep yet.

“Fuck!! Satoru…!!” You moan out loudly as squelching noises filled up the room.

As he finally entered you, and the sudden movement forced you to snap out of your haze. The feeling of him inside you made you realize what you were doing, and all the thoughts you had just a moment before start to flood back. He started to slowly move, his hips grinding against yours, and his eyes staring down into yours. His expression was filled with a mixture of pleasure and desire, yet he seemed completely unaware that your mind wasn’t fully present yet.

He began to pick up the pace of his movements, and his breathing slowly became more labored. Sweat began to form on his forehead and chest, clearly showing that he was slowly getting more lost in the moment. However, he continued to look down on you and stare into your eyes, clearly enjoying the expression you were currently making.

You looked like a slut. Taking him in like a fucking whore. I mean that is what you are right? Fucking a man who already has a girlfriend.

You feel yourself tighten around him as your pussy gets wetter. He slaps your aching cunt which made you jolt from the sudden sting on your clit.

It was too much for you. Your mind filling up with guilt yet you’re enjoying his cock filling you up as it fits in you perfectly. Your greedy cunt taking him in as you felt every vein and twitch on his member.

Tears formed in your eyes.. was it because of the overwhelming pleasure or the hurt in your heart realizing how pathetic you are? Satoru didnt care anyways and picked up the pace as he slams his hips into yours as you moan louder and louder.

He puts his hand around your neck and chokes you slightly as he’s telling you sweet nothings. “I love you so fucking— much.. fuck you’re so good for me.” He said as you put your hands on his biceps as he rams into your tight pussy harder and harder till you can’t think for yourself.

Your gummy walls being stretched out as he choked you.. it hurt.. it hurts so much.

“Fucking slut, you like this huh? Draining my fucking cock like the greedy whore you are..” He says while going harder

You accidentally cum all over his cock.. you squirt painting his pants. He didn’t stop though. You felt overstimulated and mewled and whimpered more. Tears fell on your cheeks as he kissed you deeply.

“C’mon baby, you can do it.. stay with me here.”

His movements started to become more desperate and erratic, clearly signaling that he was about to reach the edge. His breathing was heavy, and a soft layer of sweat was coating his entire body. He suddenly began to breathe out your name between his labored breaths, clearly getting close to his release. His grip on your hips started to become tighter, as if he was trying to hold himself back from crossing that limit too soon.

He suddenly gave a final, deep thrust, and then paused for a moment, clearly at the point of no return. He stared down at you, his face full of ecstasy and pleasure as he finally crossed the edge and reached his release. The room felt like it was filled with a moment of tense silence.

He then pulled out of you as his cum drips out of your tight cunt.

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ ACT 4

It has been days since that night. Since then, you haven’t seen him, but he’s been lingering in the back of your mind. You couldn’t help but think about the last time the two of you met, playing it over and over in your head. His face, his voice, his body, everything about him had burned itself into your memory. You couldn’t forget how he touched you, how his body felt against your skin, how it felt to have his skin against your skin. His voice echoed in your head, whispering your name between labored breaths. The memories wouldn’t leave you, no matter how many times you tried to push them away.

You decided to go out today, wanting to distract yourself from your thoughts. You thought that going out of your house might help you forget about the memories that had been haunting you, and you decided to buy some flowers, thinking that decorating your house might help lift your mood.

You went to the flower store, and began looking around for any flowers that caught your eye. You thought that maybe buying some colorful and beautiful flowers might help brighten up the atmosphere in your home, and make you feel a little bit better.

You walked down the aisles of flowers, admiring all the different varieties of colorful blossoms. You looked at roses, tulips, lily's, and other types of flowers. They were all so beautiful and vibrant, and you thought they might make your home feel a little more cheerful.

After walking around the flower shop for a while, you made your final decision and bought some flowers. You picked a bouquet that consisted of lilies, tulips, and roses. They were all beautiful shades of pink, yellow, and white, and you thought they might help brighten up your home.

As you left the flower shop, you were carefully holding the bouquet of flowers you just purchased. However, as you walked on the sidewalk, you couldn’t help but notice something on the side. You spotted something that made your heart ache, making you stop in your tracks.

It was him, walking down the street with his girlfriend. He was holding hands with her, and the two of them were casually talking and laughing together. Seeing them like that made your heart ache, and a pang of jealousy shot through your chest.

You thought to yourself that this was exactly what you had been expecting. After all, you were just his temporary release. He had a girlfriend that he was seeing, and you knew that you were just the person he would come to whenever he was feeling frustrated. You were the one he would use and then toss aside without a thought later on, and you knew that you didn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

After seeing him with his girlfriend, you made a silent promise to yourself that you would never initiate contact with him again. You knew that it would only lead to more pain and heartbreak for you, and you didn’t want to go through that again. So, you decided that it was best to just completely cut him off, and try your best to forget him.

You knew that it wouldn’t be easy to forget him. The memories you shared with him were still fresh in your mind, and he continued to linger in your thoughts. However, whenever you found yourself thinking about him, you would quickly shut your thoughts down, reminding yourself of your promise to not contact him again. You were determined to move on from him, no matter how hard it was.

It had been two months since you vowed to stop talking to him, and you haven’t initiated contact since then. However, he seemed to message you or call occasionally, probably wanting to see you again. But, you were determined to keep your promise, and you wouldn’t answer him or give in to his messages. Even if you desperately missed him, you wouldn’t give in to your feelings.

Every time he called or messaged, you would see his name pop up on your phone screen, and your heart would ache. But, you would remind yourself of your promise and refuse to give in. Even if you desperately longed to hear his voice and see his face again, you would hold yourself back, knowing it would only lead to more hurt in the end.

Until one night, you were at home just relaxing and doing some things around the house. Suddenly, you were interrupted by a loud knocking on your door, drawing you out of your thoughts. Curious as to who it could be, you walked up to the door and looked through the peephole, wondering who would be showing up unannounced at this time of the night.

You leaned up to the door and peered through the peephole, trying to see who it was. The knocking continued, louder and more insistent now, as if the person was impatiently waiting for you to open the door. You waited a moment, trying to get a glimpse of who was standing on the other side before you opened the door.

You slowly opened the door, revealing the person who was causing all the ruckus. Your eyes widened as you saw who was standing there, and a rush of conflicting emotions washed over you. It was him.

He was there, standing right in front of your door. His tall figure loomed over you, and his blue eyes bored into yours. He wore a serious expression, looking somewhat frustrated. After two months of no contact, he suddenly appeared at your door, unexpected and unannounced.

You looked at him, feeling a mixture of surprise and annoyance at his sudden appearance. You wanted to ask him what he was doing there, but before you could say anything, he spoke up first.

“Can I come in?” He asked bluntly. His voice was still cool and composed, but there was a hint of impatience in his tone.

“Uh.. fuck it, go ahead” How stupid.

He nodded once, his expression still stoic. He walked past you and entered your house, looking around as he stepped inside. He stopped in the middle of the living room, and turned to look at you, his eyes taking in every detail of your appearance. The look in his eyes was somewhat intense, and he didn’t say anything for a few moments, just continuing to stare at you with that same, serious expression.

“You look good” He said finally, his tone still emotionless. The compliment caught you a bit off guard, considering you hadn’t seen each other in a while. You gave him a quick look and just shrugged in response.

“Why are you here?” You asked, a hint of irritation in your voice. You crossed your arms as you looked at him, waiting for an explanation as to why he was suddenly at your house.

He raised his eyebrows slightly, seemingly somewhat amused by your irritation. Despite your annoyance, he still looked somewhat calm and collected, which was probably pissing you off even more. After a moment, he answered your question, his voice still nonchalant.

“I missed you” He said bluntly, locking his eyes with yours. The honesty in his answer surprised you, and all your previous feelings of irritation and annoyance were quickly overridden by shock. You stood there for a second, completely dumbfounded as you stared at him in silence.

A sense of disbelief washed over you as you heard his answer. You couldn’t believe he just showed up at your door and said something so candid and direct. You stared at him for a moment, trying to process what he just said, before finding your voice and speaking up again.

“You’ve got some nerve showing up at my door at this hour, saying something like that!” You said angrily, your irritation coming back. You weren’t going to let him know how his words had affected you, and you quickly tried to cover up your surprise with anger.

“You don’t look happy to see me” He said tauntingly, his blue eyes still on yours. The smirk on his face was infuriating, making your irritation grow as he continued to tease you.

“You can’t just fucking come here every time you get into an argument with her! I— I actually fucking loved you.. and you used that to your advantage to just get what you want. I feel so stupid for ever loving you and you come back here to tell me you miss me? While you have a girlfriend?!” You said holding back your tears everything was coming back to you. All that effort of trying to forget was coming back..

He had been prepared for you to be angry at his unexpected appearance, but the words that came out of your mouth seemed to catch him off guard. Your voice rose at him, your irritation and emotion clear in your tone. He could see your eyes welling up, and the fact that you were holding back tears made his irritation melt away a bit. He was clearly a bit uncomfortable having this conversation with you, and you could tell he hadn’t expected you to explode so suddenly.

As you continued to yell, you saw the irritation on his face slowly melt away, replaced by a look of guilt and mild surprise. You could see his eyes widen slightly as you started talking about your feelings, clearly not anticipating the sudden confession. The smirk he had moments ago was gone, and he stayed silent for a while as you continued to unload your emotions on him.

“You really broke me, did you know that?” You continued to say, your voice cracking a bit from holding back tears. You weren’t usually an emotional person, but the sudden appearance of your ex-fling and ex boyfriend, the one who broke your heart, and now hearing him say the words “I miss you” was stirring up a complicated mix of feelings inside you.

He didn’t speak, just continued to listen as you spoke. His expression was impassive, but you could tell that this conversation was making him uncomfortable. It was clear from the look in his eyes that he was struggling to know what to say, and he seemed somewhat guilty. You could tell that he never took into account the effect he’d had on you after you two broke up, and you knew that he was regretting his actions now.

“So now would you please enlighten me on why the FUCK are you here other than trying to have sex with me!”

He was caught off guard by your sudden vulgarity, and the question stunned him for a moment. He didn’t expect you to just blurt out something that forward and direct, and he stumbled over a response for a moment before finally answering you.

“That’s not all I’m after” He said firmly, his voice still calm, but a hint of irritation was clearly there. He didn’t appreciate you accusing him of only being there to sleep with you, but he knew he couldn’t exactly say you were wrong.

“What? So you mean to tell me you actually love me more than my body? Huh? Is that it?”

He let out a scoff at your question, a bit of irritation in his expression. He didn’t seem to like where this conversation was headed, and he got defensive by how you were phrasing things.

“Why do you always assume I only want you for sex?” He asked, his voice sharp. He seemed somewhat offended that you thought he only saw you as a body to use.

“Because that’s all I am to you! Whenever your girlfriend argues with you, you come running to me and— you just.. you—“ Tears formed in your eyes and your throat felt like it was closing up.

Seeing the tears start to form in your eyes made him soften a bit. He looked at you, and his irritation seemed to melt away slightly. He didn’t like seeing you cry, even if your emotional outburst had pissed him off a bit. A part of him was also starting to feel guilty for being the reason behind your tears.

He let out a sigh, the irritation that was on his face slowly fading away. He hated that you were crying, even if part of it was his fault for showing up unexpected and unannounced. He tried to find something to say that would make it better, but before he could speak, you continued to talk, your voice cracking and tears rolling down your cheeks.

He watched you as you tried to continue talking, his eyes fixed on your face as tears started to well up in your eyes. Seeing you look so broken and emotionally wrecked made him feel guilty, and he regretted not anticipating how much his past actions would hurt you. He didn’t speak, just continued to listen to you as you spoke.

“I— I love you so much Satoru.. I let myself get used by you.. I let myself get hurt, feel like an object— but I still loved you. I just wanted you to love me too—“

He felt a pang in his heart at your words, his chest tightening at the sound of your voice and the hurt he heard in it. He hadn’t expected you to be so open with your feelings, and he felt guilty for what he had done to you. But he didn’t know what to say, so he just stood there in silence for a few moments, looking down at you as your words sunk in.

He felt a mix of guilt and regret as he listened to you confess your love and how he had hurt you. He was never good at expressing his own feelings, but he knew he couldn’t just stand there in silence while you looked so broken. So he finally spoke up, his voice soft but firm.

“I.. I never wanted to hurt you” He said quietly, a hint of guilt and regret in his voice. He took a step closer to you, looking down at you with a softness in his eyes he rarely ever shows.

“But you did.”

He hated the look of sadness in your eyes, and he hated that he was the cause of it. He wanted to take it all back. He wanted to reach out and hold you, but he knew it wouldn’t be that simple. He closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath, before opening them and continuing to speak.

“I know I did.. And I don’t have any good excuses for my behavior. I’m a jackass, I know that. And I—I was being selfish, and I didn’t think about how my actions would effect you..” He said, his voice soft and filled with guilt. He was genuinely upset at himself, and it was visible in his expression.

The silence hung heavy in the air, as he watched you silently. He had never seen you this emotional before, and he didn’t know what to do to make you feel better. He wanted to hold you in his arms, but he felt like he wasn’t deserved to. He was the reason you were like this, so he felt that it would be wrong of him to try and comfort you.

“J-just go back home to your girlfriend, Satoru. I never want to see you again.”

His heart sank as you told him that, a feeling of panic washing over him.

“No.. I don’t want to go back..” He protested quietly, his voice almost pleading. He didn’t want you to push him away, not like this.

He stepped even closer to you, getting right in front of you and looking down at you with a desperate expression, his hands slowly moving to gently grip your shoulders. He looked at you with a pleading look in his eyes, not wanting to leave you on these terms.

“I said go! Never talk to me again, never contact me, never go here— just go!” I said loudly as tears fell from my eyes

He hated seeing you look so broken and emotional, and it pained him to hear how broken your voice sounds. He looked at you in silence for a moment, a look of desperation in his eyes. He wanted to say something—anything. But his pride stopped him from showing how much this hurt him. He looked like he wanted to argue with you, but he just took a deep breath and dropped his hands from your shoulders.

He stared at you for a few more seconds, his expression looking a mixture of pain and confliction. He clearly regretted coming to your house, and a part of him didn’t want to listen to what you’re saying. However, he eventually let out a deep sigh, and spoke up again, his voice defeated.

“Fine.. I’ll leave you alone” He said, his voice sounding flat and defeated. He looked down at you for a moment, before turning around and walking over to the front door. He opened it, then stopped for a moment, glancing over at you for a second before walking out and shutting the door behind him.

As soon as he left your house, the guilt and regret started to sink in as he walked back to his own apartment. He couldn’t get your crying face out of his mind, and the sound of your voice repeating over and over in his head. He didn’t know what he expected going over to your house that night, but he definitely didn’t expect it to turn out like that. When he reached his apartment, he silently stepped inside and walked over to the couch, before sitting down and sighing heavily as he ran a hand through his white hair.

“Is something wrong baby?” His girlfriend asked.

He heard his girlfriend’s voice and it pulled him out of his thoughts, and he quickly put on a reassuring smile, not wanting to seem suspicious and not wanting to make her worry.

“I’m alright, don’t worry” He said, forcing his voice to sound nonchalant and casual.

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ ACT 5 (final)

Years passed, and Satoru continued with life as normal. However, you were constantly on his mind. He regretted how things ended between the two of you, and he hated the idea that things ended on such bad terms. Sometimes his mind would wander, and he would think about the last time he saw you. Remembering how you cried and told him to never talk to you again. It stung each time, and he would push the thoughts away and try to focus on his life. But you still ended up being on his mind frequently.

He and his girlfriend were out at a park together, taking a walk around the area as they enjoyed each other’s company. They were just having a casual conversation and talking about random things, having a normal couple’s outing.

Suddenly he heard a familiar voice.. it couldn’t be..

“Kana!! Hold on don’t run” The back of a woman was seen chasing a kid.. she had the same hair color as… could it actually be her?

A little 3 year old girl was seen running and giggling. “Mommy mommy look birds!”

His head turned to look in the direction of the voice, hearing the sound of a child giggling. It didn’t even take a few seconds for him to recognize the voice as yours. He looked over to where the voice came from, his heart picking up in his chest as he saw you chasing after a little girl.

“Tsk, daddy will get mad if you end up lost you know?” I said as I carried my kid.

He watched as you picked up your girl and held her in your arms, your words confirming that it was in fact you. He kept watching, almost too shocked to even say anything. He just watched, trying to ignore the way his chest squeezed at the sight.

His girlfriend noticed his expression and saw that he was staring at you and your child. Before she could even say anything, he quickly looked back at her and cleared his throat, trying to act nonchalant and hiding the fact that he was still in shock. He spoke up, even though he still felt a bit nervous

“Sorry, I just thought she looked familiar..”

His girlfriend just let out a small laugh, not suspecting anything, and just shrugged it off

“Oh, okay. She does look a bit familiar, I guess. I’ve never seen her before though” She said in a lighthearted tone, not knowing that you and her boyfriend used to know each other.

As your husband showed up, Satoru’s eyes shifted to him, trying to take in the situation. Seeing you pout as you spoke to him made his heart clench in his chest, and the realization that the man in front of you was your husband was like a punch to the gut for him. His mind quickly became filled with shock and a sense of jealousy as he watched the three of you interacted.

“Kento, do you know your kid over here was running around aimlessly” You pouted while pinching your daughter’s cheeks lightly.

“Well she’s just a kid. Kids run around all the time, it’s normal for them” Your husband said in a casual tone, smiling as he petted your daughter’s hair, clearly being a doting father.

“Well… can’t you tell her to be more careful” You sighed.

Nanami chuckled at your words.

“You worry too much. She’s just a kid, she just wanted to have some fun. Let her be more carefree, she’s still young” He said, sounding amused at your overprotective behavior.

Satoru had been listening intently, and feeling jealous as you and your husband spoke. He felt his chest burn as he heard your husband speak, and seeing how good of a parent he was only made it worse. The fact that you were with him and having a child with him made Satoru's stomach twist in knots.

He could see the obvious love and bond between you and your husband, and it only made Satoru's jealousy grow. He wanted to approach you, to say something, anything to get your attention. But he felt rooted to the spot, unable to move or speak

Satoru watched as you and your family left, his eyes following you as you walked further away. His mind was racing, torn between jealousy and heartbreak, not knowing what to do with himself. He ended up staying in the same spot for several minutes after you left, his mind filled with thoughts and emotions.

He managed to calm himself down after some time, taking deep breaths and telling himself to get control of himself. As he wrapped his arm around his girlfriend’s waist, he looked over at her and smiled, his emotions still a bit conflicted, but he tried to bury the feelings.

He knew that he had his own relationship and that he should focus on his current girlfriend. And as much as he loved you, he knew that he had to move on from the past. So he pushed his feelings aside and tried to remind himself that he was happy with who he was with now

Perhaps things didn’t work out the way they both imagined and hoped for. But sometimes life has a way of surprising us, and leading us down different paths that lead us to where we truly need to be. And even though it wasn’t the type of happiness that they envisioned, they both found happiness in their own ways, accepting the outcome and moving forward with their lives.

The end… 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

author’s note : i’m not used to making long fanfictions so i decided to challenge myself! i hope you guys aleast enjoyed it xx! have a nice day evryone! (≧◡≦)

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seventeencryinghorses-blog · 2 months

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Hello~ I was wondering if you could do a headcannon for a Crocodile x reader who has worked with him since Alabasta. As of late, after forming Crossguild, he's realizing that he has feelings for her and it pisses him off.

It's good I reread this because I almost starting writing you having feelings and it annoying him. Anyway I know headcanons are usually formatted different and worded different so I just tried to copy what i've seen. Sorry if it's weird, it's my first time. Be gentle 🥺. If i did something wrong just tell me. Also my first ask that isn't me squeee!

Crocodile the love struck (reptile) fool

Crocodile x fem reader. Crocodile isn't happy that this is an x reader because he's a control freak. 821 words.

You’re a hard worker, a competent worker, and a loyal worker. Those are facts, viable facts that could be proven in the fact that you work just as hard now as you do in Alabasta despite having less incentive to; despite having the opportunity to leave him when he was in Impel Down. It’s why he’s so in denial about these unwanted feelings at first, then angry that he has them. Things are already so hectic, he doesn’t need anything else to be out of his control.

• It started with your smile, as cliche as it is, the one you wore even though work can be anything but fun.

• He found it irritating at first, work is something to be taken seriously, but came to appreciate it.

• First because it meant you enjoyed your job well enough, something he likes since it means more loyalty.

• Now that he'a formed Cross Guild, it's because it brightens his own day; and to the point where now it’s like some sort of drug.

• One where if he doesn’t get it he gets on edge, making work even duller.

• It’s embarrassing, a fully grown old man like him getting cranky because doesn’t get a smile from a pretty girl he likes. Pathetic.

• It ends up putting him in an even worse mood when he notices it.

• Another thing that annoys him is how much he likes your voice.

• You’ve even started having to repeat things to him because he was too focused on how nice it sounds and feels to hear you talk to him.

• He wouldn’t be surprised if you thought he’d gone senile at this point…

• Thankfully you don’t show it if you do feel that way.

• Something he does wish you’d show is distaste for when any of the other men talk to you.

• He knows it’s mostly good work ethic communicating with them well, it helps now that you’re allied with other people, but sometimes he wishes you’d sneer at Mihawk or scoff at Buggy rudely.

• Show that you dislike talking to them, hate talking to anyone that isn’t him.

• There are the childish thoughts again…

• He’s 46 for gods’ sake, someone who’s killed both with his own hands and from his indirect actions.

• Not some schoolboy getting fussy that his crush is talking to someone else.

• Maybe feelings like “fussy” would be better though, would be safer for you; because they’re not always so childish.

• He wants you all to himself, you’re his anyway.

• You worked with him in Alabasta, waited for him while he was in Impel down, and work with him again in Cross Guild even if the work is more taxing; and less rewarding.

• You stayed with him, so loyal for him, so it makes sense that you’re his

• He wants to shower you with things you’d like, not just to dress his pretty girl up, but to guilt you into staying with him.

• To give him more of an excuse to be protective over you than just having feelings.

• What a terrible thing to think, but he’s never been a morally correct person.

• Either way, it’s not like he could actually do anything to hurt you.

• He’s tried, you can become a serious weakness for him.

• But everytime he tries there’s always an excuse.

• “She’s too useful.” “She’s a good worker.” “l still need her for this.” “It’d be a hassle.” “She makes my work easier.” “I’ll do it once I get my power back.”

• Though those are viable reasons that stop him, they aren’t truly the core reason.

• The reason is because he loves you, and it drives him mad.

• As mad as when you smile for others, or your hands brush together, or you call his name while looking up at him with those pretty eyes he wants looking nowhere else.

• You’re so beautiful, he loves you.

• He wishes that the feelings would just go away with time, with the fatigue he gets from working days straight.

• But they don’t, and they only get stronger.

• Especially when you do things to make even the smallest things easier.

• Making sure his cigar drawer is always full, bringing him water, telling him the time when he loses track of it.

• When he notices you telling him the time while looking sleepy yourself, he almost grabs you to pull you into his lap.

• Hold you, cage you into his arms and give you a kiss with all the emotion he’s been building up.

• But he can’t lose control, so he doesn’t.

• He just sends you off with a “Thanks, get some sleep yourself before you pass out on the job.”

• Once you turn, you can’t see the way his eyes follow you with a warmth he didn’t even know he had.

• And once the door is closed behind you, you don’t see the way he puts his head in his hands with a “Fuck.”

#one piece #crocodile x reader #headcanon #crocodile #crocodile one piece #headcanons #anime only #female reader #he's so kya core #Fluff #Fluff but he's a lil creepy about it #one piece x reader

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eggluverz · 1 year

Note

Ooh, I loved your IL Dan Heng request where he realizes that Reader is no longer around and flips quickly trying to find them out of sheer anxiety that those who still hate Dan Feng would take out their hatred and vengeance on them.

I actually want to try and request fem!Reader getting attacked by a group who just want to hurt Dan Heng through attacking his beloved. But his beloved is no damsel in distress, and fights them off, extremely angry that they are attacking her to hurt Dan Heng for a crime he is not guilty of and finds it pathetic that they continue to hold a grudge against someone who has long passed, not adhering to the Vidyadhara laws that Dan Feng’s sins have been washed away. She tears into them, defending Dan Heng with everything as she beats their ass in an emotional rage with tears that’s only stopped because Jing Yuan has to prevent an Incident from happening even though he would gleefully let her continue beating them down.

Reader is upset that they want to hurt and cause Dan Heng pain. She could care less about them trying to torture or assassinate her.

But Reader still gets injured much to Dan Heng’s guilt and anguish and he blames himself for what happened after he arrives at the scene when he sensed that something was wrong.

Reader proceeds to reassure him that none of it is his fault.

SHOULD’VE BEEN THERE

PAIRING. dan heng x f!reader

CONTENT WARNING. swearing, reader gets slightly injured and is bleeding, mentions of blood and cut wounds

WORD COUNT. 2,317

SUMMARY. you and dan heng are exploring the xianzhou luofu and you get surrounded by a group of assassins who want to hurt you to get to dan heng. you decide to teach them not to mess with your partner.

SOF’S NOTE. hihi!! thank u for liking my something shiny this way comes fic :3 sorry this took a while to get out but i still hope u enjoy!! badass reader was fun to write ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ she a cool bean ! LOL ty for the request xx

The Imbibitor Lunae Dan Feng wasn’t exactly known for being a beloved figure. Like many infamous individuals of history, there were some who hated him, while others continued their almost unnerving worship.

At the Xianzhou Luofu, the opinions of the general public were mixed and even carried onto his reincarnation. Some would rather have Dan Heng return to the position of leadership, while others wanted him gone from the very land his past life once considered home.

And while Dan Heng thought it’d best to separate himself from his past, he did see the value in learning about the culture and history of the Xianzhou as well as the Vidyadhara. As his partner, you were simply glad he wanted you along during the times he felt the need to revisit the Xianzhou Luofu or indulge in their delicacies.

You accompanied him in enough instances that some of the vendors even knew the two of you by name and what your favorite orders were. It wouldn’t have been a surprise it some locals were familiar with the two of you as well.

Today, you both decided to explore the Xianzhou Luofu separately in the morning, and then meet up late afternoon for a meal together. You wanted to try this tea spot in Aurum Alley you hadn’t heard of before. The tea was said to, somehow, make the consumers feel really good and it intrigued you enough to want to go with Dan Heng.

However, your plans of wandering around and enjoying some time alone was cut short when a group of individuals suddenly appeared around you.

You startled at the sight. The must’ve been been using cloudhymn magic for you not to notice their presence at all until they revealed themselves. After the initial surprise, your body instantly relaxed as you prepared for a fight. Judging by the looks on their faces’, it didn’t seem like they were friendly fans of the Astral Express crew just looking for an autograph.

Plastering a smile on your face to turned to the man closest to you. “Can I help you guys?”

He scowled but remained wordless, feeling like he was too important to speak to the likes of you.

You frowned. “It’s not very nice to ignore people.”

“Since when did we say we want to be nice to you?” another group member scoffed, already drawing his blade. “Dan Feng’s whore.”

Murmurs and grunts of agreement sounded from the rest of the group.

Sighing, you placed on hand on your hip and your other on the shaft of your spear. You had many issues with that sentiment. One, you weren’t a whore— You were his partner. And two, if you were a whore, you’d for sure be one only for Dan Heng. Not this old, dead man named Dan Feng people kept going on about.

“I’m getting a little annoyed here, but I’ll give you one chance,” you said calmly, trying not to lose your patience. “Leave me alone and I’ll pretend this never happened.”

“Or what?” one lady chimed in.

With a huff, you quickly scanned the circle of people. The group wasn’t too large; there were only about four individuals around you with their weapons now at the ready. You reckoned they must’ve had some skill, given they were able to use the cloudhymn magic typically practiced by assassins, but you were confident you could hold your own and knock them out by yourself if you needed to.

You tapped your foot and pursed your lips. “You don’t want to know the or what.” There was a mocking laugh to your side and you quickly turned to him with your eyebrows raised. “Is something funny?”

He nodded. “Yeah. You’re not scary at all.”

“She’s just as pathetic as that sorry reincarnation of Dan Feng,” another snickered, nudging your back with the hilt of his sword.

The woman in front of you shook her head, looking down at you. “No one is as pathetic as that traitor.”

Anger surged through you at his words. Dan Heng was so much more than Dan Feng’s reincarnation. He was his own person— A strong, kind, intelligent person at that. And he wasn’t pathetic. In an instant, you knocked the sword out of your ambusher’s hands with a swift kick and pointed the blunt end of your polearm at the woman who insulted him next.

“You want to say that again?” you scowled, prodding her shoulder roughly in warning.

When you moved your weapon, the man behind you swung his sword at your side and you just barely managed to dodge, the blade leaving a long cut across your upper arm. You flinched at the sting but ignored it. You felt small drops of blood begin to roll down onto your elbow, but you sensed the cut wasn’t deep enough for you to be truly concerned. It was nothing compared to what you would do to them if they said one more negative thing about Dan Heng.

They could hurt you and call you names. That you didn’t care about; you could handle yourself. Sure, you might cry a little after the event took place, but when it came to it, you could hold your own. But when they continually kept insulting Dan Heng, you knew you had to put your foot down.

Your partner, your beloved, has been through enough shit without having random strangers who didn’t even know him talking behind his back. This particular group even went as far as trying to harass you simply because of your association with him.

You wouldn’t stand for it. You couldn’t— It hurt your own heart just hearing them badmouth him.

Red flooded your vision as you glared at the group with your weapon in a readied position, “You only need to look in the mirror if you want to see what pathetic truly is. No need to bring Dan Heng into this.”

The group matched your stance and you rolled your eyes before swinging your polearm in a low sweep to knock two ambushers to the floor. Before you could use your weapon correctly and strike the next assailant, a booming voice sounded from your side.

“Now, now. If we’re going to resort to violence, please do it away from the innocent civilians nearby.”

The group of assassins around you straightened up in an instant at the sound of Jing Yuan and the marching Cloud Knights behind him.

While you were half relieved to see Jing Yuan, the other half of you wanted him to go away so you could enjoy beating the shit out of these idiots who insulted Dan Heng. That would certainly teach them not to spew nonsense about things they did not know.

The group silently disbanded and disappeared as they ran away, trying to avoid the clutches of Jing Yuan’s men who were soon on their heels. You frowned at their cowardly escape. They couldn’t even stand to face the lawful consequences of their actions?

“As much as I would’ve enjoyed seeing your execution of justice, I don’t think Dan Heng would want to see you potentially get more injured,” Jing Yuan said with a small smile. “They are assassins, after all.” He examined your arm from a distance before walking up to you and offering a hand.

You accepted, looking down at your bleeding arm with a slight wince. “They barely even nicked me…”

Jing Yuan shook his head, a fond look on his face despite his chastisement. Before he could sterilize it for you, you two spotted Dan Heng running over. His spear was by his side and his expression was frantic as he ran towards you.

“Y/N! Are you alright?” called Dan Heng, his breathing heavy partly from physical exertion, but mostly from worry. “I saw Cloud Knights tracking down some people under the influence of cloudhymn magic.” His brows furrowed as he finally reached you and Jing Yuan, most likely remembering his last encounter with assassins using the same technique. “Did you see them? Are you okay?”

Jing Yuan glanced at the guilty look on your face before giving your arm a squeeze and nodding once to Dan Heng. “I shall let the two of you continue this conversation alone. Until we cross paths again.”

Your eyes widened at his quick goodbye. “Hopefully our next meeting will be for better reasons. Thanks, Jing Yuan!”

“Don’t mention it.” He turned to Dan Heng before he left. “Stay safe and vigilant, Dan Heng.”

As he walked away, you noticed Dan Heng scanning every inch of your body, eyes clouded with anxiety as he took in Jing Yuan’s words and the cut on your arm.

Silence stretched between the two of you before he finally spoke up. When he talked, his tone was unsettling. “Who did this to you? Was it the assassins?”

Your gaze softened as his fists tightened in concern. “Yes,” you admitted, gently putting his hands in yours as you ran your thumb over his knuckles. “But I’m okay, they didn’t hurt me.”

Dan Heng looked at you in disbelief.

“This just needs to be cleaned and bandaged, is all,” you reassured with a small smile. “I’m sure the bruises I left on them are worse.”

“You’re bleeding.”

“But I’m okay,” you said, soft but firm.

You gazed stubbornly at him and Dan Heng returned the look, neither of you backing down. Eventually, Dan Heng sighed, squeezing his eyes shut at the sight of the bloodstain on your shirt.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he said with an almost imperceptible quiver in his voice. “I should’ve been there for you.”

“Hey, don’t say that.” You frowned, lightly cupping his jaw to lift his head that had fallen to the floor. “You’re always there for me; I know it.”

“Not enough, apparently.”

Dan Heng’s complexion was paler than normal. You could tell this was really eating him up inside.

“You couldn’t have known I was going to get ambushed by cloudhymn magic users,” you said, trying to console him. “If you did, I know you wouldn’t have left me alone. But you didn’t know, and so I did my best to handle them myself— And I would’ve kicked their sorry asses for insulting your character if Jing Yuan hadn’t stopped the fight.”

Dan Heng’s expression softened at that, a hint of an amused smile forming on his face. “They would’ve felt sorry for trying to harm you if they knew of your skill, that’s for certain.” He reached out to hold your forearm in his hand, examining the cut with a sigh. “I just hate that you got hurt because of me.”

You shook your head at his wrongful connection. “I got hurt because of the idiot assassins, not because of you.”

“Didn’t they want to harm you because of your relation to me?”

“Yes, but that just means they’re delusional and stuck in the past and wanted to hurt us both,” you reasoned, watching carefully as Dan Heng pulled a first aid kit out of your bag and began to clean you up. “You did not hurt me, Dan Heng. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He let your words sink in as he sterilized your wound, rubbing the sensitive skin on your inner forearm soothingly as he sensed you tightening up at the sting of pain. Once he disposed of the bloodied cloth, he wrapped a bandage around your triceps and secured the ends.

You admired his work with a proud grin. “Good as new. Thank you!”

Dan Heng released a huff of laughter as he patted the top of your head before kissing it. “I wouldn’t go that far, but I hope it will heal soon.”

“As long as you kiss me daily to make the wound heal faster!”

“I’m not sure that’s how it works,” he mused. You poured and he looked at you fondly. “For you, I’ll give it a try.” Dan Heng placed three kisses on your face—one on your forehead, one on your left cheek, and one on your right—and one kiss on your bandaged arm. “If I give you multiple kisses a day then, will it heal even sooner?”

You nodded eagerly, gesturing to your mouth with a teasing glint in your eye. “Definitely! And there’s one place to kiss so it’ll heal the fastest.”

Dan Heng smiled. “I believe I know the place you are referring to, but we’ll save that for when we’re in private.”

You jutted your bottom lip out and batted your eyelashes at him. “Just a little one?”

He wasn’t much for excessive public displays of affection. You were rather embarrassed by it yourself. But in this moment, it felt as if it were just the two of you on the entire Luofu.

Unable to resist the pleasing look on your face, Dan Heng humored you with a chaste kiss on your lips. It was plush and warm and, while the two of you wanted more, it was enough to satiate you for now.

“Is that better?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“I’m glad to hear.” He took your hand in his, carefully interlacing his slender fingers with yours. “Thank you for looking after me, even when I’m not there. I’m glad you have my back. I will always have yours as well,” he vowed. “I’ll always be here for you.”

As the promise left his mouth, you knew each word was one he meant from the heart. Dan Heng meant the world to you, and you would stop at nothing to protect him. And you knew he would do the same. You saw it through his actions, and now, he told you with his words.

Your stomach warmed and your heart squeezed, feeling touched by his declaration.

“I know you will,” you stated, a confident shimmer in your eyes as you met his headstrong ones. “And I will always be here for you, too.”

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