#every single odd number has an e in it

[atrirose]

𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐍𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑

“i’ve passed by many eyes but only got lost in yours”

synopsis: they find you cute and gather the courage to ask you for your number

ft. enhypen members, fluff, f!reader, cuss words

HEESEUNG : saw you at his favorite cafe and decided that it’s his time to get his dream girl, heeseung has seen you come to the same cafe at 3.00 pm everyday so he makes sure he is there at that time too, it’s been two weeks since he saw you for the first time and now he had enough either he makes his move right now or never, he walked up to get your attention “excuse me-” your ice coffee spilled all over him “OH MY GOD,, im so so so sorry, i will pay for the dry cleaning” you said as you wrote down your number and gave it to him, now he is confused about whether he made the move or he got lucky. “you know, heeseung the first time we talked in the cafe, though it was one sided and i spilled coffee on you, but it was on purpose because you were a coward and i couldn’t wait anymore” so turns out heeseung has no game and the only reason he is dating right now is because you decided to have pity on him.

JAY : “hey! i just wanted ask where you got that dress from, it’s the most beautiful thing i have ever seen” a perfect way to approach a girl, when he saw you in that strawberry dress amongst the flower fields he knew he was a goner, you were so ethereal for him that moment that he probably would be describing this scene to his grandkids “oh it’s from…?, i’m sorry i forgot, it’s been so long” jackpot! he couldn’t have been more happier “oh! darn it, say what how about you give me your number and inform me anytime you remember it” and that’s how he secured his girlfriend, the dress? it was completely forgotten “you were the most beautiful person i have ever seen, the dress was just an excuse” but you being you knew jay wasn’t interested in the dress and gave him benefit of the doubt “i knew it”

JAKE : “can i have your number please?” it’s been 2 years since he saw you in his math class sleeping even though it was finals week and it’s been 2 years since he have been in love with you, so in his senior year he decided straightforward is the way to go because he didn’t want to hesitate anymore “jake?” he had prepared for everything, if you accept him, you and him would be raising layla but if you reject him, well he would be okay? right, he got ice cream ready and his favorite show picked to cry off his sorrows “yeah, i know it’s sudden and we never talked but i just wanted to let this out and-” you took his phone and saved your number “see soon bye” you waved like everything was cool but deep down you both are cheering like you won a grammy.

SUNGHOON : “a little odd for you to sit alone don’t you think” you’re waiter who has no business to be so irritating chimed his unwanted opinion “that only makes me think you are single, i’m sunghoon by the way-” you hand him the menu as you forced a smile “i’m ready to order” he clicked his pen and wrote down your order. when you were done with your food you asked for the bill, and guess what it, was your annoying waiter who came with it “here is my number”—“why would i want your number and where is the bill” he gave you his number instead of the bill “it’s on me” he smiled and you have to admit his confidence and smile can make you forget all his annoying behavior “call me” he winked as he walked off.

SUNOO : “is that your brother, aww he is so cute” the only reason he bought his baby cousin was to get your attention, he has been watching you on his way back home every evening with what he assumed was your little sister, and he knew the easiest way to get attention was either to bring a dog or a baby, so he went to his aunt and picked out the most cutest cousin he could find, and as luck would have it his cousin got you to him “he is my cousin, he was just so lonely and needed new friends so i bought him here, but most of the time the park is empty and i can’t seem to match the time of other kids to have him company” he was lying and his cousin knew because he was looking at him like he would end sunoo soon “aww i’m sorry, say what i can introduce my sister to him and they can hang out” sunoo smiled so bright you can hardly hate him for lying “great so can i have your number for future play dates” he gives you his phone totally ignoring your confusion “ah, sure”

JUNGWON : “here you wanted this” you handed your number to jungwon “yes ms. lee asked for it” a lie, he is lying, no teacher told him to get your number and you were gullible enough to believe him as if any teacher would ask a student to get another students number, they have the record yn WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB, but it wasn’t your loss. “so this guy told me-” jungwon started with his daily facetime gossip with you “jungwon now that i think about it ms.lee never called me” nervous laugh as he try to avoid the topic

NIKI : “hi i just beautiful and saw look” he doesn’t know how to communicate any longer, the moment he saw you in the mall he was enchanted, even though you were walking around with your pjs on “excuse me?” and this was the most embarrassing moment of your life, a handsome boy trying to talk to you and you look like someone who got hit by a train “i just wanted to ask you where….the washroom is” wow this guy thinks you work here “well i’m not sure i think..” you were about to point at something when he said “well can i get your number” he said handing out his phone “to call you when i find the washroom..?” he looked horrified “you’re as dumb as me” and surprise you both are dating the next week “did you find the washroom yn?” niki teased “shut up”

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Madhubala (Mughal-e-Azam, Barsaat Ki Raat, Mr. & Mrs. '55)—The Venus of India; heart-throb of all who saw her; responsible for the sexual awakening of every single desi lesbian I know (including me!) And my god, she is breathtakingly beautiful. Look at the subtle grace with which she moves, and that smile - the kind of radiant smile that can make you laugh with sheer delight, or cry because of its hidden pain. Those wild curls! That Cupid's bow! The way she tilts back her head and smiles at you with mischief dancing in her eyes! She has a way of looking at the camera that makes you feel she's sharing a private joke just with you; it's something about that quizzical twist of the lips and eyebrows. As an actress, she is inimitable; she seems to effortlessly inhabit roles ranging from a heart-broken courtesan to a laughter-loving socialite. Fun fact : she's had quite the fan following in Greece! Stelios Kazantidis even wrote a song as a tribute to her.

Olivia de Havilland (Adventures of Robin Hood, Gone With the Wind, The Heiress)— The woman who took on the Studio System at the height of their power and Won! A double Oscar winner! Is magnetic and beautiful in everything she's in and gave us all the juicy scandal with her sibling rivalry with Joan Fontaine! Before the Oscar Slap was the Oscar sister snub! Also everything she wears in Robin Hood she makes beautiful even a purple green and orange monstrosity how does she do it! Anyway this scene is one of my old Hollywood favourites

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Madhubala:

An icon of Bollywood, who was well known for her beauty and has continued to inspire performances and songs into the 21st century. She was at times described as "the number one beauty of the Indian screen" and "the biggest star in the world".

SHE IS EVERYTHING AHHH. JUST LOOK AT HER SMILE-

She's been nicknamed the Marilyn Monroe of India and was one of the highest paid actresses in the Hindi film industry (the term Bollywood did not exist yet) during the 1950s. Also an extremely talented dancer and singer

SHE'S JUST SO STUNNING, like seeing her eyes IMMEDIATELY CAPTIVATES YOU, THE DANCING, THE BEAUTY!!!!!!!!! She worked in Bollywood for over 20 years and passed away at a sad early age of 36, BUT THE IMPACT SHE HAD WAS UNMATCHED!!!!!

That sassy sideways glance she does always has me WEAK AT THE KNEES. And when she's making silly faces at the camera to mimic someone ahhhh my gay little heart <3

Olivia de Havilland:

She is just perfection. She has a smile that is looks like it is barely holding back, and yet so reserved as well.

Broke the contract system and won freedoms for actors (the de Havilland Law is still in effect I believe). 2 time Oscar winner. Beautiful and smart

She legally challenged the movie studios' unfair contracts and won, setting a precedent for other actors to be treated more fairly. This was at great cost to her financially and essentially getting her blacklisted for years but the resulting judicial opinion is still known as the De Havilland Law and has won her a great deal of praise and admiration.

Her performance in The Heiress is one of my all-time favorites, she’s so good at making melodrama feel real and grounded without sacrificing any of the passion/drama.

Serenely beautiful, she struck a balance between crowd-pleasing fluff and prestigious drama. Famously at odds with her equally successful sister Joan Fontaine, she was too much of a lady to ever say anything public. Successfully sued Ryan Murphy for portraying her as a saucy gossip in Feud.

the period costume + eye patch combo in That Lady is just an absolute serve

She has the most adorable and cherubic face and voice

[just-shower-thoughts]

Every single odd number has the letter E in it

[idolatrybarbie]

odd couple

pairing: established francisco "frankie" morales x reader

word count: 2.5k

rating & summary: explicit, mdni! | frankie can't cook, to put it lightly.

tags: no trigger warnings needed for this one, porn with (little) plot, rated e like woah, frankie needs a win, very unedited as of initial posting, stubborn!frankie, premature ejaculation, handjobs, cumplay, overstimulation, sub!frankie moments, multiple orgasms, spit kink/drooling, #petnames4frankie, praise kink, slight dacryphilia, reader calls frankie "wet" in this idk that might not be your thing i guess. look man it's been a hard week.

notes: it's not wednesday and i am struggling a lil' bit (might make a personal life update soon idk ?) but i am being such a brave little toaster about it! writing this definitely made me feel better. when it comes to music, this weezer song is a little generic within their discography but whatever, i like it. hope you enjoy! also everyone go read @wannab-urs sub!max phillips fic because i say so and it's awesome.

You listen to Frankie move around the kitchen from your spot on the couch, trying your very best to ignore the occasional clang and clattering noise that flows out from the distant doorway. Tonight, he has taken on the task of making the two of you dinner. Or trying to, anyway. You don’t cook much either. Your job, like his, doesn’t lend much time to it. Takeout is more than often what’s on the menu—Burger King, of all things, is his favourite.

You know how to cook though. Every once in a while you have the spare time to whip together something truly delicious; slow-roasted pork belly, or maybe a nice pasta with garnish. Frankie doesn’t seem to know his ass from the oven.

The two of you have had this conversation hundreds of times. You stating that he can’t cook, and him pushing back, insisting that he can. Or he could, before the service stuck him with single meal MREs for a number of years and he lost most of the culinary knowledge given to him by various tías, his abuela, and of course Mrs. Morales herself.

His stubbornness spurs the occasional urge to throttle him. It’s fine you can’t cook, you always tell him. Not like he can’t still learn. Still, he insists, and insists on insisting on top of that.

Honestly, you couldn’t be more of opposites. Even excluding skills of domestic labour, he and you are a bit of an odd couple. Frankie’s an early mornings guy, always, while you enjoy a sleepy Sunday—or just about any day that ends in Y. He hates the horror movies you fawn over, while you can’t stand the nature documentaries and sappy celebrity biopics that he eats up year over year. Frankie is highly detail-oriented, the engineer instinct in him always angling towards rigid preparedness; you’re a bit more goal-focused, letting any plan morph and adjust according to the situation.

Another such cooking conversation had taken place on the drive home after declining Frankie’s offer of McDonald’s for the fourth night this week, and now here you are: listening to the man curse under his breath, muttering complaints from the kitchen as he tries his hand at homemade spaghetti.

The kitchen is silent for a moment. You go back to channel surfing, clicking past reruns of Golden Girls and M*A*S*H*. Stopping at a channel playing the cinematic masterpiece Grease 2, you focus your attention on the open doorway behind you again. It feels almost too quiet…

A string of hushed, panicked curses from Frankie confirms your suspicions. Getting off the couch, you use the soft overhead light to guide you through the dark apartment. Frankie is standing over the stove when you see him, quickly moving away and towards the sink. Water splashes into it, surely scalding as steam rises into the air. Or maybe that’s coming from his ears?

You clear your throat in the kitchen doorway, and Frankie turns to you. His face is slightly red, a silver pot held in his grip by the towel-covered handle.

“Is everything okay?” You already know the answer to that question—aggravation rolls off of him in waves, permeating the space between the two of you like a mirage in the Mojave Desert.

Frankie opens his mouth to respond, but the words never come. He does this a few times, wracking his brain for the proper way to put it as he parts and pleats his lips, living up to his call sign.

Eventually, he settles on, “No.”

He heaves a deep sigh, tossing the pot onto the counter. Getting a closer look at it, you see the charred spaghetti noodles stuck to the shiny bottom.

“Don’t, okay?” Frankie says before you look up again.

“What?”

“I know what you’re gonna say. I told you so, blah blah blah. I know. You’re right. I can’t fuckin’ cook.” The words are rushed, like he’s half-embarrassed to even say it.

You frown, reaching an open palm out to him as you shake your head. “That’s not what I was going to say.” You motion for him to come closer and he does, slipping into your arms as you hug at his tense shoulders. “It’s okay. You can take a class, or we can work on it together. I think that’d be kind of fun,” you say.

Picturing making something with Frankie—maybe bowties and broccoli, something simple—has you smiling into his shoulder. For his birthday last year you made red velvet cupcakes with sour cream frosting. The recipe is a little more complicated, but baking them with him this time is a pleasant idea. You already know he’s the type of person to lick the batter off the beater.

“I don’t want to do that to you,” he says.

You pull back from the hug to look at him, those big brown eyes of his crinkled at the far edges. “You’re not doing anything to me,” you say. “At least, not right now.”

A small smile comes to his face then, creeping and dopey before Frankie gives you a soft kiss at the tip of your nose.

“They should really give you a Netflix special or something,” he says.

“Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all night,” you muse.

Still in your arms, Frankie glances over at the pot of blackened, noodle-shaped mush. “What are we gonna do for dinner?”

Right now, he’s in the closest proximity to you that he’s been all week. At least, while you’ve both been conscious. Work has you staying later and later at the office these days, while his shifts handling flight operations have him drained, in bed and fast asleep well before you even get home. Tonight is special even if it hasn’t gone the way either of you planned.

You hum, dipping your head to nose at the patchy beard along his jaw. “I’m thinking we skip dinner.”

“Come on, seriously,” Frankie says.

“I am serious.” Leaving a wet kiss on his cheek, you whisper, “Don’t you want your dessert, Francisco?”

A hum rumbles low in his chest. “Of course, but—”

“But nothing.” You move your left hand to cradle the side of his face, his skin smooth under your touch. He leans into its warmth. “I’m hungry.”

You know that he is too. At your words, Frankie practically jumps you, a kiss pressed to your lips hard before your brain can catch up with what’s happening. He holds you in his arms tight, like if he loosens his grip even a bit, you’ll float away. The pair of you move out of the kitchen and back into the living room, the horrible 80’s movie still dancing across the pixels of the TV.

Frankie falls onto his back, bouncing against the couch cushions. The remote is underneath him, the mute button conveniently hit upon his landing. The cheesy show tunes cut out immediately. You move to straddle him as he lays horizontal. Frankie cranes his neck a bit to watch you as you settle over the crotch of his sweatpants. He’s half hard under the fabric already.

Frankie pulls you down into another bruising kiss. You hunch over to meet his lips, his hands circling around your waist. You’ve decided to take the Frankie approach to tonight’s activities; cool and calculated in your plans and decisions on how this is going to go. Grinding your hips down, you watch his face carefully. He huffs out a breath, soft and peppery like the cinnamon gum he keeps in his car.

You reach between your bodies to feel him in his pants. Frankie kisses at your face, quick and sporadic as you palm at him. He moves to lift your shirt off your body and you let him, raising your arms to help him. He tosses the thing to the floor and lets his hands rove over your skin. Continuing your ministrations, you slip your hand beneath the elastic waistband of the grey sweats. Frankie has no underwear on, a pleasant surprise.

“Fuck,” he groans, nosing at your neck.

“What’s wrong, honey bun? Doesn’t that feel good?” you ask, slowly pulling your hand away.

“Yes, please. Do it again?” His voice strains deliciously, the muscles in his arms held taut.

Frankie relaxes only slightly when you return your palm to where he’s hot and achy, cock wet at the tip. You run your thumb along the head of his dick as he pushes his hips up into your touch. You slide the pad of your finger along his shaft, spreading the dampness.

“Aw baby, you’re already a little wet. Isn’t that sweet?”

You start to stroke him in earnest, the tight circle of your hand moving up and down his cock. The movement is a little dry, your skin dragging against the sensitive velvet of him. You push his shirt up his belly, pulling his pants to his knees easily. Then you spit into your palm, jerking him off easier this time.

“Fuck baby. Just like that,” Frankie pants. He’s moving his hips with your hand now, fucking up into it on every down stroke. With your free hand, you prod at the small dip at his hip, feeling the muscle tense beneath the skin.

“Bet you feel so good, baby. Nice and easy for me,” you coo.

“Don’t stop,” he whispers.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, honey.”

You twist your hand at the end of every movement upwards, fingers rubbing over Frankie’s tip as he leaks steadily onto himself. The glide is easy now, lubed with your saliva and his precum. The squelch makes your mouth water as you watch his cock disappear and reappear in the shadow of your fingers.

He puts one of his hands over yours, urging you to go faster. Your hands move together over Frankie’s dick, picking up the pace as the sticky noise turns into a slap with every thrust of his hips.

Frankie breaks pace, stuttering on a caught breath before he spills over your hand and onto his belly. You pause to watch his chest tense and then loosen, his eyes shut tight as he comes down. Raising your hand to your lips, you lick a bit of his cum from the edge of your fingers. It’s the first thing Frankie sees when he opens his eyes again, making him groan. The noise sounds almost painful.

“That was—”

“Amazing?” you supply.

Frankie wheezes a laugh. “Something like that.”

“What about a second helping?”

He furrows his brow, then looks down at his dick. It lays limp and spent on his stomach. “I don’t—”

“Please,” you implore oh-so-sweetly. Frankie sees big eyes batting at him, a twinkle of adoration. The intent behind it is a little more Kubrick, but he doesn’t know that yet.

He can’t say no to you, doesn’t want to anyway. Frankie nods, mumbling a yes at you. His cock twitches with interest when you drag a finger through the pool of cum on his belly and pop it in your mouth. You smile at Frankie as you take him in your hand, strokes slow as he hardens again.

Leaning into his body, you flick your tongue against the shell of his ear. “So, so wet honey. This all for me?”

“Yeah, shit—I can’t,” he mumbles.

“But it feels so good,” you say. “Wish you could see your cute little face. I love seeing you like this.”

Frankie’s face waivers between tightly wound and relaxed in pleasure. You’re using his own cum as lube now, hand practically sloshing across his cock. He tries to keep his eyes open, watching your movements as you sit patiently in his lap, jerking him off.

Your underwear is ruined, the cotton soaked through as you discreetly rock yourself against the rough seam of your pants. You’ll take care of yourself later. Right now, all of your attention is on Frankie. This reward is his punishment. It’s the slightest bit petty, but you can’t let his stubborn behaviour go quite yet. You aren’t an I told you so type of person, but this? This is perfect.

You stroke at him on autopilot, watching the middle distance between the fine thatch of hair at Frankie’s pelvis and his skin coated milky white. He comes with a flinch before you even realize, still moving as he hisses. He’s still hard when he’s done, solid under your touch, so you continue.

“You’re doing so good for me,” you say softly.

“Oh god,” he whines, eyes rolling back.

“Does it hurt baby?”

Frankie doesn’t speak, can’t, nodding frantically up at you.

“You want me to stop? All you have to do is tell me.”

He doesn’t—not with words or the shake of his head. He likes this, and both of you know it. Frankie gets off on the pain, a pleasure so hot that it burns; water blazing to the point that the sensation runs cold, delicate skin held close over a candle flame.

Frankie starts to squirm. You hold him down by the shoulder with your free hand, fingers spread over his overheated skin with a firm press. His whole body is sweaty, soaking a runway down the front top half of his t-shirt.

“Please, please, please.”

He breathes your name, barely getting the syllables past his lips. You never find out what he’s begging for. He probably doesn’t quite know either.

His dick and his mind can’t seem to agree on what they want. You watch this war play out, a losing battle. Every few seconds he presses his hips to the couch, trying to stay out of your reach. Then he slots his hips forward again, seeking out your hand directly.

Finally, Frankie seems to find his words. “Fuck, please. I can’t, I can’t. I’ve got no more, baby, please.”

“One more, honey. You can do that, can’t you? Just one.”

“Mm, shit. It’s—it hurts. It hurts,” he says.

“I know, baby. You’re so sweet for me, so good. I know you can do it,” you assure him.

Leaning down, you position your mouth over him. You let the spit sitting in your mouth pour past your lips, drooling onto his throbbing cock. The saliva slides down his length slowly as Frankie moans at the sensation.

The added slick makes everything wetter, truly soaking as you jerk him off faster. Frankie starts to babble nonsense between short, tripping moans. A split-second decision, you breathe hot air over the head of his dick. The slightest change in contact pulls his third orgasm of the night from him. Frankie cries, groaning loud as fat, wet tears roll down his cheeks. You hunch over him to give his face a kitten lick, collecting them with your tongue.

You let him go when he finishes coming, letting his dick flop against the plush of his tummy. Dragging your own shirt off the floor, you wipe at his skin and clean up your hands before tossing it back down.

Frankie finds the strength to tuck himself back into his sweatpants. He pulls at your elbow, sending you crashing gently into his side on the couch. It isn’t really big enough for the both of you to lay down. You squish yourself against his chest and shoulder, feeling his arm rest over the length of your back.

“How was that?” you ask after a while.

“A five course meal and then some,” he says. Frankie scoffs at himself, like he can’t believe what just happened. “Jesus Christ.”

You kiss his chest through his shirt, his body warm and solid against your cheek. “Nope, just me.”

[adastra121]

Kuras: Every single odd number has an "E" in it. Leander: What about 30 and 50? Kuras: They are even. Leander: If you can split a number in half evenly, it's even. 30 and 50 are odd. MC: 15 + 15 is 30. 25 + 25 is 30. They're even. Mhin: 25 + 25 is 30? Are you sure? Are you sure about that, MC? Kuras: One, three, five, nine. And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter "E." Ais: You forgot seven. MC: What is going on here... Leander: Wait, wait, you also forgot eight. It has the letter "E" and it's a pretty even number. Mhin: Why...Why would eight be brought up if it's an even number in a conversation about odds? Kuras said, "Every single odd number has an 'E' in it," not "Every single number with an 'E' is odd." Vere, trying to mess with everyone: Guys, two is odd and doesn't have an "E." Just saying. Mhin: ... Mhin: Did you just dead ass try to tell me two is an odd number? MC: What about zero? That's an odd number, right? Mhin: No, it isn't and even if it was, it still has an "E." Vere: Zero is an even number, MC. Kuras: No, zero is not a number. Leander: It can be divided by two, though? 0/2 is 0. 0 + 0 is 0. MC: Ah, so zero is both odd and even. Kuras: Zero is not a number. :) Vere: Okay, but hear me out. Fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no "E" by the way they are pronounced. Third-E and Fifth-E. Ais: Fifth-E? Mhin: Why do 30 and 50 matter—THEY'RE FUCKING EVEN!!! Leander: Hm, -30 and -50 have an "E" in them. Mhin: *broken* I...I don't... Kuras: Anything that ends with a 0, 2, 4, 6, 8 is even and the rest is odd; 1, 3, 7, 9. Ais: You forgot five. Bartender, who had to witness this entire conversation: *in tears* You're all...so stupid...

[notsunnyowo]

Your Name

Bakugou Katsuki x Female Reader (part 4)

(part 3)

Today was an odd day..

Come to think if it.. This whole week has been odd in a way.

***

"Oi, extra." Bakugou's rough tone sounded, followed by the distinguishable sound of a hand slamming onto the wooden table below.

The blonde was towering over his supposed mortal enemy. His dark ruby eyes locked onto the girl in question, similar to how a predator looks at its pray, right before they're about to devour it right on the spot.

"Fight me."

"What?-"

"I said, fight me." The boy demanded, his tone stern and certainly not friendly.

Ever since the scare with Aizawa, and after (Y/n) got to show everyone her quirk, Bakugou had been pestering the poor girl non-stop about sparring with him. Not a single day had passed without him 'asking' her for a sparring session during training.

(L/n) sighed and looked up at him. (E/c) eyes meeting with the boy's vermillion own. "How many times do I have to tell you? - I'm not fighting you!"

Bakugou's constant demanding questioning was starting to seriously annoy the (h/c) haired girl. This was the forth time he'd asked her and the forth time she's told him no.

Was he dense or something? Or was it that he just couldn't take "no" for an answer? ~ The latter sounded much more like the hothead she had gotten to know throughout this past week.

What's the deal with this guy? Can't he just leave me alone already? I'm seriously beginning to consider the possibility that both of us are mortal enemies-

"Settle down class." Aizawa's tiered voice echoed trough the room. For someone with as unkept of an appearance as him, the man sure didn't act like it. He was probably the most strict teacher (Y/n) had ever seen! And that was saying something!

"We've got another training exercise for today."

This simple and short statement was enough to capture every student's attention immediately.

Another training exercise? Wasn't the one we did yesterday enough for the week? We've only just started with classes a week ago and were already doing combat training?

Then again.. This is Japan's best hero-school. So I guess this is to be expected from the country's number one.

The training exercise the class had done yesterday was the second time the students got to show off their quirks.

That includes a certain 'barbaric' blonde.

During the fight with Deku, whose actual name turned out to be Midorya Izuku, Katsuki didn't hold back. Not even a little!

He looked particularly scary during the fight, as well. Especially when he was about to pull the trigger on his comically large gauntlet. (L/n) seriously thought that he was actually going to murder his emerald eyed opponent.

His attitude sure didn't seem like one belonging to a future hero, if you'd ask her.

It was a much better fit for the typical category of someone far more sinister..

Someone villainous.

"Just like yesterday, you will all be split up in pairs - which have already been decided. Your objective will be to capture the other teams and handcuff both players of the opposing team."

"The last team standing is the winner. ~ Any questions?"

After receiving no questions from his students, Aizawa got to work, disclosing the teammates.

"First team consists of Kaminari and Kirishima. Then we have Asui and Uraraka, Midorya and Tokoyami..."

As Aizawa continued listing out names, and informing everyone about the designated teams, young (L/n) found herself impatiently waiting for her name to be announced.

And boy did she wait. As time passed, the options got fewer and fewer untill there were only four people left. Including her, of course.

Please let it be Todoroki. Please let it be Todoroki. Please-

"Todoroki and Mineta."

Oh come on!

"Which leaves us with the last team."

"(L/n) and Bakugou."

In that moment, (Y/n) wished nothing else, but for the ground to open up and swallow her whole. Out of all the people she could've been paired up with, why had it been him?

As the girl dared to sneak a glance at the scowling blonde a thought crossed her mind.

At least it's not Mineta..

Who knows how horrible it would've been to be paired up with the embodiment of lust, also known as Minorou Mineta. Even the mere thought of being forced to cooperate with that pervert was enough to send a shiver down her spine.

And who knows? Maybe Bakugou won't be such a pain to work with?

"You've all go five minutes to strategize before the exercise starts. Once you hear the bell ring you are all to return here for further instructions. Have I made myself clear?"

***

With a bit of hesitation on her behalf, (Y/n) cautiously walked over to the ticking time-bomb with whom she'd been paired up with. For one reason or another, the girl always seemed to find herself feeling uneasy whenever she had any sort of interaction with the explosive boy.

Focus (Y/n).. You can't let your feelings distract you. This is training, and right now, he is my partner.

And nothing else.

Taking a stand beside the him, she asked. "So how are we going to go about this?" Her question was followed by a raise of her brow. "Got any sort of plan?"

With a click of his tongue, Bakugou finally looked back at her with an unamused look on his face. "Go in there and blast every extra that comes in my way."

The boy's cocky response was followed by a mental facepalm from his partner. "Look, I get that you think you're all that, but you can't seriously expect me believe that you'd be able to singlehandedly immobilize and capture the members on every other team!"

Quirking a brow, the blonde stared back at her. If you'd look really closely you might catch something resembling a hint of amusement in those ruby gems of his.

"Oh yeah? Watch me."

Without another word, young Bakugou simply walked off, leaving (L/n) standing all alone, completely speechless.

***

Soon enough, the five minutes were up and everyone had returned back to the meeting spot. Aizawa, who had already been waiting there for his all students to arrive, quickly begun telling each team where their starting point was. Careful not to let anyone aside from the team in question hear of course.

Once everyone was in their designated spot, a loud horn sounded. The training exercise had officially begun.

(L/n) and Bakugou found themselves out in the open. Their starting position wasn't the best, as they were pretty much right in the middle of the training ground. Not the best place you'd like to start off in such an exercise. 

This only meant that the duo had to be on high alert. Knowing their classmates, if someone spotted the two, (Y/n) was pretty sure that they'd most likely attack. 

Provided, they feel confident enough to go face against the literal rage-bomb which was her spiky haired teammate.

Guess there really was something good about being paired up with him.

"Hey, uh. Bakugou-" (Y/n) began, quickly approaching her classmate, mindful of their proximity. In a much lower her tone than the one before the girl then continued. "Taking our location into account, it'll be best to seek cover somewhere. ~ That, or we could get someplace high up. Like on top of some of the buildings?"

Unfortunately though, it appeared that her rational  proposal fell on deaf ears, as Katsuki decided to straight up ignore the girl's logical deduction and do things his own way.

"If you think you can't take a few extras on then don't drag me down with you."

Turning his head back, Bakugou graced the young heroine with a casual glance at her. His smooth features easily managing to send her poor little heart into a frenzy. "I know my own capabilities and I sure as hell won't be beaten by a bunch of wanna-be heroes. ~ So if you can't keep up then don't get in my way."

"Yowamushi."

(Y/n) scowled at the nickname.

Me? A coward? Who's that angry porcupine calling a coward?!

Just as (L/n) was about to speak up against the name-calling boy. She caught sight of something behind him. 

Or rather, someone.

"Bakugou, behind you-!"

Almost instantly she opened the corg of a compartment in her utility belt, while quickly activating her quirk.

Katsuki was quick to spring into action himself, quickly turning around to face whoever, or whatever had caused his partner's sudden distress.

Only to be met with the hardened form of none other that the redhead who simply wouldn't leave him alone.

Ejirou Kirishima.

With a vilanously grin quickly taking over his features the blonde activated his quirk, launching himself straight into the air before sending an attack at the charging redhead.

And it seemed that he wasn't the only one with such an idea. A stream of water flowed out of (Y/n)'s belt compartment as her hands maneuvered the seemingly floating water with practiced ease.

Her quirk - Waterbend - was pretty self-explanatory: It allowed the user to "bend" water, or more precisely control and maneuver any type of liquid. However, the now hero-in-training mostly used it on water, hens its unique name. 

As the shockwave of his blast met with the oncoming water 'whip', the two attacks seemingly "merged", forming an even more powerful one.

This in turn, sent poor Kirishima staggering back, his arms and other vulnerable body parts hardened by his quirk.

"Go for it Kaminari!"

Ejirou's shout startalled the two.

"Gotcha!"

The electric blonde sounded as he immediately powered up his quirk, with a loud yell. "All out shock! Two million volts!"

Crap-

Just as (Y/n) was about to counteract, she felt a metal sensation in her mouth and before she knew it her whole body felt like it was on fire. Her muscles spasmed uncontrollably as her body fell to the floor. 

Well this was just great! Not only had she gotten paired up with the same person she wished not to be her partner, but she had also let her guard down and gotten hit! Some hero she was..

As her mind slipped in and out of consciousness, flashes of images from the past raced trough her mind.

"No, please don't go..!"

Her mind was fuzzy and her libs numb, yet the vague scene played out in her mind as if it was a record put on loop.

"Promise me you'll never give up (Y/n).."

Her whole body ached from the shock of Denki's attack. But something in her stopped the girl from slipping out of consciousness once more. Her vision was blurry but she still tried to focus on the targets at hand.

I won't go down without a fight..

Her body shook as she tried propping herself on her arms, (L/n) tried her best to stand back up on her feet. 

Thankfully the members of the opposing team were too distracted with her own partner to register the girl getting up.

Once her vision had cleared up, she could make out the tree boys battling it out with their opponents.

Bakugou was busy avoiding attacks from Kaminari while Kirishima charged at him. The blonde was doing a skilful job at keeping a good distance away from the two but his opponents were giving it their all and not allowing the blonde to find an opening.

They haven't noticed me yet..

(Y/n) thought as she quickly oppened another compartment in her utility belt. The girl always made it an effort to keep a reserve stash of some type of liquid in her belt. It was a request she'd made to the support item team when giving out the instructions on her hero costume. 

After the cap was out, the girl could feel the sense of alcohol invading her nostrils.

Ethanol.

Not only was it useful when treating wounds, but it was also highly flammable. Which if used right could be of great help to her.

Now all I need to do is coat their bodies with some and hope Bakugou blasts them while they're distracted.

With a quick motion of her hands the girl managed to splash the two boys with half of the ethanol she had available and used the other half to make a rope like extension towards Katsuki, giving him access to the flamable substance.

"What the?-" One of the boys questioned, while the other turned to look back at their opponent who the duo thought was out cold.

Before any of them could do or say anything else, the sounds of a loud explosion filled the air. The ethanol had come into contact with Bakugou's explosions and caught on fire burning the boys coated in it.

It took (Y/n) and Katsuki a while to handcuff both males, and once they did a loud horn was heard in the air, followed by Present Mic's voice.

"Team Kirishima and Kaminari - Eliminated!"

Guess they're the first ones out. (Y/n) thought as she approached the handcuffed duo in order to take their handcuffs.

With an apologetic look in her eyes the girl crouched down, looking for the metal objects. "Sorry for burning you guys up so badly." She apologized with a calm tone.

Kirishima shook his head, a slight hiss of pain slipping past his forced smile as the girl's hand brushed against his bruised up back. "No hard feelings (L/n)."

Seeing the disheveled state the young heroine was in, Kaminari sighed. "Sorry for knockin' ya out."

After finally finding the handcuffs (L/n) smiled and got up. Turning to the electric blonde, she spoke up. "Don't worry about it. Your quirk's super powerful. Maybe we could train together sometime?" She smiled, her offer immediately easing the gilt Denki felt for actually hurting such a pretty thing as herself.

The light mood was unceremoniously interrupted by none other than Bakugou. Or to be more percise, his abrasive comment. "Tch. If you're done chit-chatting, we need'a get goin'. There are still other extras that need a good beating."

Bidding a quick goodbye to the two boys, (L/n) walked over to her explosive comrade.

Let's just hope the others won't pose as much of a challenge as these two did.

(Part 5)

Author Note:

Well that sure was an interesting fight wasn't it?

Perhaps the next fight wont be as tough? Or will it be even harder? Dealing with our lovely explosion boy can be quite distracting after all. ;')

[incorrect-hololive]

Ollie: Every single odd number has an "e" in it.

Reine: Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren't spelled with the letter e.

Ollie: ...

Reine: If you can split a number in half evenly, it's even. 30 and 50 are odd.

Gura: 15+15=30

Gura: 25+25=30

Ollie: 25+25=30? You sure about that??

[reanimated-owl]

((i feel like barnaby would deliberately piss Baron off by insisting things that factually aren't true are true. baron would absolutely fall for it every single time.

for instance, insisting 2 is an odd number, a la "every odd number has an e in it"

[husbandhoshi]

Every single odd number has an 'e' in it. <33

the way i actually sat here and thought abt like ten separate odd numbers to verify this..… so true bestie

[big-trouble-in-little-eldia]

A deep dive into AO3′s Bertolt Hoover shipping tags

I got bored and I like making lists and excel sheets, so I went ahead and mined all the data from the various Bertholdt relationships that exist on AO3. The resulting statistics and graphs are quite interesting, so I want to share them!

To start, I went to AO3′s tag search page, searched for every ship that contains Bertholdt OR Bertolt, picked the Relationship category, selected Canon and Non-Canon, and sorted by chronological ascending so that they would show up in the order in which they were created.

Then, I went ahead and collected the following data: 

The canonical ship name

Characters involved

Type (romantic or platonic)

Genders involved

Number of characters in the ship

Number of fics in the tag

The order in which they were created

A link to the works and tag page

The number of G, T, M, E, and Not Rated fics

In doing so, I ignored synonym ships. Half of all of Bertholdt’s current 525 ship tags are variations on Reiner/Bertholdt. I’ve only catalogued the canon tag, or if that was missing, the most canon spelling.

Then, I went ahead and created some tables to count totals and other numbers that seemed interesting.

Important to note is that the total number of fics isn’t an accurate sum of total fics that are on the archive. For example, if a single fic is tagged with both “Armin Arlert/Bertolt Hoover” and “Armin Arlert & Bertolt Hoover”, then this fic will represent itself twice in the data. The numbers are more to be taken as relative: how many fics contain this ship tag and how does that compare to other ships?

I went with ships because these are the easiest way to ensure that the fic is at least a little bit about Bertholdt. Most fics that tag him have him in the background or he doesn’t even show up in them. When at least one relationship with him is tagged, the odds that he’s relevant in the fic increase by a lot. The number of fics that have him as a main character but that don’t tag him in any relationships is rather insignificant, so this is the best way to go through Bertholdt fics and collect some data.

You can find the full sheet here. Data was captured on the 8th of January 2023. The newest ship tag at the time was Bertolt Hoover/Onyankopon and I will likely not update these stats since it’s quite a bit of work. Unless some really bad life decisions lead me to still be in this fandom in five years and data has shifted enough to see an evolution.

Find the full sheet with data here.

Let’s go through the data!

‎

‎

Number of fics

When sorted by size, these are the ships with the most fics:

Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover (2666)

Bertolt Hoover/Annie Leonhart (465)

Bertolt Hoover/You (310)

Reiner Braun & Bertolt Hoover (300)

Reiner Braun & Bertolt Hoover & Annie Leonhart (275)

Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover/Annie Leonhart (125)

Armin Arlert/Bertolt Hoover (75)

Bertolt Hoover & Annie Leonhart (63)

Bertolt Hoover/Eren Yeager (61)

Bertolt Hoover/Original Character(s) (59)

Bertolt Hoover/Jean Kirstein (58)

Marco Bott/Bertolt Hoover (55)

Bertolt Hoover & Reader (40)

Armin Arlert & Bertolt Hoover (32)

Sasha Blouse/Bertolt Hoover (30)

Reiner Braun & Pieck Finger & Marcel Galliard & Porco Galliard & Bertolt Hoover & Annie Leonhart (29)

Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover/Reader (25)

Mikasa Ackerman/Bertolt Hoover (23)

Porco Galliard/Bertolt Hoover (23)

Bertolt Hoover/Ymir (20)

Not unexpected that RBA ships and reader ships are at the top, considering the former has always been popular and the latter is a large trend at the moment. 

I was surprised that Bertholdt/Armin is the largest rarepair considering that when I first got into this ship in September of 2020, there were about 20 fics in this tag and over half of them were either crack, didn’t contain them, or had them as background characters. It’s nice to see it boom!

Ships with Eren, Jean, and Marco are one of the first Bertholdt ship tags to be created on AO3. They used to be popular in the early days but are quieter in recent years due to a shift in character spotlight.

‎

‎

Characters

Ships

The following graph shows how many Bertholdt ships each character is a part of.

Reiner, Annie, Marco, Jean, Eren, Marcel, Armin, and Reader take up the top spots for characters who appear in the most ships.

‎

‎

Fics ‎

When you bring in how many fics are tagged with a ship containing each character, the view becomes quite skewed.

Because of the sheer number of Reiner/Bertholdt fics, Reiner racks in 3530 fics, representing 65,8% of all Bertholdt fics. Annie comes in second at 996 fics or 18,4% and Reader is third with 310 or 5,7% of fics.

To give a more representative overview of the other ships, Reiner, Annie, and Reader’s data were removed from this graph.

Armin (122 fics), Jean (115 fics), Marco (106), and Eren (100) are notably higher than the rest.

In the second grouped tier, we have Porco (63), OC (58), Marcel (54), Sasha (48), Pieck (41), Ymir (41), and Mikasa (27). 

In the third, we have Erwin (17), Connie (14), Historia (10), Levi (7), Gabi (5), Colt (4), Hange (4), Zeke (3), The Colossal Titan (2), and Mina (2).

‎

‎

Romantic vs Platonic

The table shows some interesting data. Let’s look at that as graphs.

An interesting number when it comes down to ships: 41,6% of all ships on AO3 are platonic ships (&) and 58,4% are romantic (/). However, this also shows that the number of ships can deviate wildly from the number of fics:

If you look at the bulk of fics that are associated with a romantic Bertholdt ship, suddenly that number becomes 16,7% platonic vs 83,3% romantic.

‎

‎

Fic Rating

A fic can only have one rating. There are five ratings available:

G, or General Audiences, for fics that can be read by anyone

T, or Teens and Up, for fics that contain slightly more mature themes

M, or Mature, for fics that contain mature themes or mild sexual content

E, or Explicit, for fics that contain explicit sexual content, violence, or gore

Not Rated, for when the author doesn’t think the fic fits neatly within one category and they leave it open

For every ship, I went ahead and counted how many fics there are in each category. Check out the full sheet for every ship’s percentages.

First off, the number of ships that have at least one fic per rating. For example, G’s 50 means that 50 different ships have at least one fic that is rated G.

Interestingly enough, E is the most represented rating among the differing ships, followed by T, then M, G, and Not Rated. But the statistics are generally well-balanced.

Second: the number of fics that are tagged with each rating.

In terms of fic representation:

T > M > E > G > Not Rated

Note that just because a fic is rated E, that doesn’t mean that the content of that warning applies to the Bertholdt ship, for example when they’re tagged as a side ship in another character’s ship.

‎

‎

Number of partners

General

Most ships (41,6%) consist of Bertholdt and one other person. 30,4% has two other people, 13,6% has three other people, 4% four, 2,4% six, and 8% can’t be counted because the character can be plural, for example Original Character(s).

Despite the decent number of 3+ partner ships, an overwhelming majority of fics is about mono ships, namely 86,7%. 9,3% is three partners, 0,9% four, 0,1% five, 0,6% six, and 2,5% can’t be counted.

‎

Romantic

Looking at solely romantic ships, there is a notable increase in 3 partner ships.

Percentage-wise, the number of fics for mono ships is even higher than in the global numbers. Mono ships represent 92% of all romantic Bertholdt fics. Three partner fics are 4,7%, four are 0,6%, five and six are both 0,02%, and 2,6% can’t be classified.

‎

Platonic

There is a notably small amount of 3+ platonic ships compared to the others.

However, the number of fics that contain a friendship between three characters is higher. Two platonic partners accounts for 60,5% of all platonic fics, three for 32%, four for 2,1%, five for 0,3%, six for 3,3%, and others for 0,4%. The uptick in six characters is probably due to the number of RBAMPP fics.

‎

‎

Ship composition

Romantic

M/M, M/M/M, M/F, and M/M/F have the largest amount of ships.

There are more M/M romantic ships than there are M/F ones. Notable is how the number of M/M ‎fics is about 5x higher than the number of M/F fics. Only one M/X ship and two fics exist.

When it comes to ships with a total of three partners, a funny pattern emerges. While M/M/F only have about the third of the amount of ships that M/M/M has, it has almost 3x the amount of fics because of M/M/M. M/F/F has only one fic, which goes to his ship with Ymir and Historia.

Looking at 4+ partners, there aren’t many ships. Still, despite being represented by only two ships, M/M/M/M sticks out above the rest, which is due to RBJM being paired pretty often.

‎

Platonic

2M, MF, 3M, and 2MF are the largest platonic ships.

The gap between MM and MF ships is smaller for platonic ships than for romantic ones. Still, M&M dominates in terms of fics, with almost 4x the amount of fics compared to M&F.

3+ platonic partner ships show a large skew due to RBA ships as well: 278 fics are M&M&F and the next highest number is M&M&M&M&F&F, mostly inhabited by respectively RBA and RBAMPP. That’s almost 10x as many fics as the next item! Hence why it’s been removed from the graph.

Notable is that there is no RBAMPPZ relationship yet.

‎

‎

I kinda of lost the plot at this point and have run out of information to showcase

If there’s anything else you’d like me to make a graph out of, I’d love to do so. I can pretty much compare every data point against every other data point.

(Go and populate the smaller ship tags!)

[emmikay]

Electra: Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

Pouncival: Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e.

Electra: …

Pouncival: If you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.

Tumblebrutus: 15+15=30.

Tumblebrutus: 25+25=30.

Electra: 25+25=30? You sure about that?

[not-world-trigger]

Usami: Every single odd number has the letter “ e “ in it….

Kikuchihara: It’s 3 am, please go to sleep.

Usami: ThrEE.

[yaboirezzy]

My kin/family all use Tumblr-

Molly: Every single odd number has an “e” in it

Peter 1: LISTEN-

Luz: Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter "e" in it…

Amity: Oh titan-

Anne: …If you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd

Amity: -_-’

Anne: (15+15=30 25+25=30)

Luz: 25+25 = 30? You sure about that??

Andrea: Lord have mercy….

Hooty: Bye

Andrea: 3 days into 2018 smh

Marcy: LMAOOOOOOO

Libby: One Three Five Nine And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter "e"

Peter 3: YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!

Willow: It keeps getting worse

Gus: LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON???

Sprig: My head hurts…

Hunter: This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this

Ivy: Who failed yall?

Peter 2: IM SCREAMING

Scratch: You whole ass forgot about eight – a number with an e and is pretty fucking even

King: Why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? The post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e’ in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck?

Darryl: 3 days until 2019 and we’re still here

Sprig: Happy New year’s Eve!

Andrea: I’m going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2019 so future generations can see what a mistake Tumblr was

Marcy: Er, guys two is odd and doesn’t have an e. Just saying…

Willow: Did you deadass just try to tell me two is odd? I’m fucking crying throw the whole website away

Peter 3: Reblogging for the last one

Maddie: The one thing I notice is that no matter how much you want to throw this site away, you just can’t

Polly: TWO IS ODD?!?! PFFFTT I’M SCREAMING

Pump: Wait what about zero that’s an odd number, no?

Skid: Ok but hear me out fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no e by the way they are pronounces third-E fifth-E

Sasha: Bro why do 30 and 50 matter? THEY’RE FUCKING EVEN!!

Hunter: What the actual fuck is happening!?

Marcy: 1 is an even number

Willow: I’m gonna smack you

Libby: -30 and -50 have an e in them

Peter 3: Wait why are we so quick to throw away the Zero idea?

Polly: Zero isn’t a number

Luz: It can’t be divided by two though, can it?

Sasha: It can??? 0/2=0??

Amity: OD NUMBERS onE thrEE fivE sEvEn ninE

Luz: OD numbers huh babe?

Anne: Anything that ends with a 0,2,4,6,8 is even and the rest is odd (1,3,7,9) stop freaking out y’all

Peter 1: YOU FORGOT 5

Andrea, who's lost braincells at this point: DUDE WHAT ABOUT FOUR???

Sprig: What about it?????

Andrea: THAT DOESN’T HAVE E IN IT

Sprig: THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S EVEN?????

Peter 2: A R E Y O U G U Y S O K A Y ?

Darryl: 21 days away from 2020, folks

Andrea: Please tell me I can start the new freaking decade with a post arguing about something as stupid as this. Please...

Peter 1: This is art at its finest

Anne: One week to 2020 dudes

Andrea: I’m so done

Marcy: I'm so upset that even with all the “zero is odd” “no it’s not” stuff no one bothered to point out… It doesn’t matter. Zero, 0, zEro

Libby: But zero isn’t odd. It’s fucking the lack of a number. It’s neutral. It’s empty. There’s nothing there

Marcy: Zero is a number

Scratch: A definition of an even number is that it can be divided by 2 and the result is a whole number. Since you cannot divide zero, you cant divide it by 2 and that means that zero is an odd number. zEro, onE, thrEE, fivE, sEvEn, ninE, ElEven, and then the suffix -teen and every other odd number in english contains the names of the numbers 1 to 9

Libby: Zero is not a goddamn odd number what. Even i know that and i’m not good at math. Also you can divide 0 by 2, it’s 0, you literally just divide it and you just get 0 out oh my gosh. You can’t divide by zero but you can divide zero

Willow: Quote from this one “So, technically, [zero] is even. In fact, it is the most even number there is.” Also does anybody on here ever look anything up or? This is making my brain physically hurt, DEAR TITAN

Peter 3: NO. NO FUCK YOU ALL WE ARE NOT BRINGING THIS SHIT INTO 2020. WHOEVER BROUGHT THIS BACK DID IT ON PURPOSE AND I WILL FUCKING HUNT YOU DOWN FOR SPORT FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS

Peter 1: This post was an absolute train wreck and I’m cursing my followers with it

Sasha: Damn you, spider boi!

Marcy: “Anyone can do math, even gay people”

King: Bitch, are you sure???

Marky: This post is amazing. The Chaos is pleased

Marcy: WTF?!

Hunter: Is this fucking number discourse?!

Ivy: Do you have an issue with that?

Hunter: No but just out of all the things it’s about numbers. Just that it’s weird is all

Maddie: The internet is weird, you should be used to that by now

Peter 1: Yeah that’s true

Sprig: At least the cum soup post was less weird than this

Peter 2: Uhh I’m sorry the what?

Gus: Oh boy here we go again

Willow: How many times have I done this so far?

Peter 3: I’ve done this like…three, maybe four times so far

Willow: Do you really want to know?

Marcy: You can turn back now

Amity: Please why did I have to see this post I had an extra class today and my brain is already dead I don’t have enough brain cells for this

Molly: I had never seen this before today and I told my grandma about it and she’s shaking her head in both humor and disappointment. Good job everyone!

Peter 1: This is the longest post but yall forgot 6

Luz: And 1,3,5,7, and 9 are odd numbers. 5 is an honorary even number, but it is still odd.

Anne: Happy 2020 everyone! Everyday we stray further from god.

Amity: Two years later and we’re still… Tumblr

Peter 1: Reminds me of the recent pinky finger somebody that I used to know debacle on tiktok

-and I regret everything

[bluebudgie]

Snatching this character ask game to answer it in its entirety bc I'm currently sick in bed and this sounds like good distraction.

Here's your chance to read some lab rat character snippets.

Answering for Lahpp bc the brainworms got me bad the last 2 years.

A. What nicknames do they get called?

None, really. Unless employee numbers count as nicknames. I've made a joking comment about how Petthri would start calling him Gecko for absolutely no logical reason other than me being amused that the man's voice claim actor played a character with that name in a super niche musical. This isn't canon. But it makes listening to relevant songs funny.

B. Describe their family dynamic.

Non-existant. Didn't even have an official legal guardian until Rata Sum authorities required related paperwork for school stuff. There was the subkrewe that handled surveillance of his 'progress' and the head of the project was sort of 'in charge' of him but whatever relationship they had was nothing remotely comparable to a family. I think to this day he's got the hardest time wrapping his head around the concept of family relationships, other than of course the purely biological explanation.

C. What’s their weirdest habit or quirk?

Does consuming more coffee than anyone feasibly should count? I'm not even sure this man drinks anything else. Probably, but seriously unsure. Just don't question it, it hasn't killed him yet.

D. What was their high school college experience like?

This is one of those "20k essay; 1000 different amv scenarios" topics. In short: difficult, exhausting, but not as bad as it could have been.

On a social level he always felt like the odd one out and didn't have much contact to the other students, but he was never actively disliked or anything of the sort. Him being generally rather distant and observant probably intimidated a few people, as well as him being Inquest. Group projects went smoothly though, and interactions were superficially friendly. Just comparatively rare.

Work-wise he had to put in so much more effort than many others because of his disabilities, all while trying to be as stealthy as possible about it so noone would notice. He excelled in many challenges, didn't manage to hide all of it however; some things he simply couldn't do. Uncomfortable for him.

He was a really good student overall.

Also as a side anecdote, he got the typical "can you speak up please" a lot even though he was a front row regular. Soft-spoken guy.

E. What is their love language?

He's the "invite someone to go out for dinner" type. Spend some good quality time. He might get invested in the relevant person's interests too. Ask about them, enable some rambling, or ideally an interesting discussion.

F. How do they handle conflict?

That depends entirely on the kind of coflict and who or what is involved. Can range from "take the lead and try to find the most efficient solution" to "remove himself from the situation and just not deal with it at all".

G. What’s their greatest talent?

Developed mad acting & pokerface skills. He can smile through the most annoying social situations and you wouldn't guess he hates every single second of it. If he actively wants to give you that impression, that is. Sometimes he just doesn't bother.

H. Where is their favourite place to be?

Not sure if he has a consciously picked favourite place but he's comfortable enough in the small studio room connected to his lab. Made it a decently livable place. It's tiny (very tiny) but that's fine, he doesn't need much space. It's a place of peace and quiet, and that's what matters.

I. What makes them feel safe?

Good question! Next question.

J. What is their greatest weakness?

He's a coward who resigned himself to a life in a corrupt, hateful, criminal system. He was target of that very same system's bigotry for ages but he turns a blind eye on it out of fear and a lack of willingness to change anything. He's content being a simple cog in the machine, not caring about what its greater purpose is. is this what Camus calls philosophical suicide

Maybe one day he'll overcome the cowardice to face some difficult truths. Probably not.

K. What is their greatest strength?

If he says he'll get shit done, he gets it done. He's got an incredible amount of perseverance.

Especially in his teenage years this often meant choosing the path of more resistance simply to spite the people who would assume he wouldn't manage certain things. Even if those people would never actually know. He had to at least prove it to himself under the guise of acting out of spite. Is that even a strength anymore or actually a flaw? A strength born from flawed thinking?

L. What is their secrets to happiness?

Don't have anything change, find comfort in living the convenient lie. The illusion of happiness is good enough.

M. How do they handle competition?

If it's the kind of "who wins the monthly nonfatal pool by putting the most life subjects in a vegetative state" small-ego-competition then he simply doesn't care. Not because he has any moral issues with it but because he think it's a waste of time and just distracts from the actual tasks at hand.

If it's "the events in Cantha have put you in a physical and mental state that prevents you from working; and staying away on sick leave for a prolongued amount of time will eventually get you replaced despite decades of dedication" sort of competition then he doesn't handle it well at all. And he doesn't even believe anyone else could do his job better than him. Somehow that actually makes it worse.

N. What are their hidden talents?

Music. Got curious about the general topic in college. And in true spiteful (big fat disclaimer: asshole statement) "Oh you're severely HoH so this is clearly not for you" fashion, he decided this is exactly for him to get invested in. He got really into the theory part especially but also picked up an instrument (undecided which one. the decision has been haunting me for months.) to play.

Later when he met Luqqah they found out it's an interest they have in common so they spent a lot of time just either discussing or analyzing theoretical concepts or actually making some music. Luqqah taught him how to sing over the years! It's something he had wanted to learn well before he met her but very much lacked the confidence to start on his own.

He hasn't lost that passion over all these years, even if he didn't get to share it with anyone in a while. Post-EoD music trio incoming?

O. What motivates them?

In the past: Mostly fear with a good portion of spite.

Now: Mostly habit. Some underlying fears.

P. What advice would they give to their younger self?

If he could look past his own facade he'd likely tell his younger self to keep kindling at least a bit of that spiteful fire he had.

He does sometimes feel like he's lacking more "bite" the older he gets.

Q. Do they have a signature look or fashion?

Always got that eye piece on covering his left eye. You'll not encounter him without it. If you do, something's either wrong or you've somehow invaded into private space.

He spends the majority of his time working which means the majority of the time you'll find him in a labcoat. He also keeps his hair tied up for practical reasons.

His "casual" outfits are still surprisingly formal looking. He wants to leave a decent impression, you know. I'm awful at describing clothes so I'll skip this one until I one day inevitable draw it, but he's big on waistcoats and likes different shades of brown.

R. How tall are they?

Listen friends I'm really bad at understanding the gw2 race heights and putting them in perspective, but I assigned him a confident 98 cm (3'2") which in my world view is somewhere in the average middle. Not super short, not tall.

S. What’s their relationship like with their parents?

Somewhat answered in the family dynamics question. As for his biological parents, he never knew them. His -on paper- legal guardian wasn't much of a parental figure. Did it fuck him up growing up without any real guiding figure to look up to? Sure. Did it take time for him to understand that this is not the normal experience every child has? Unsure if he actually ever fully understood. Rationally he does, but emotionally this is a different matter.

T. What are their favourite foods?

He's really gotten into wasabi.

U. What do they like to do in their spare time?

See the music answer. Also reading an interesting book in a quiet environment is always a good pastime.

V. What’s their biggest pet peeve?

So he's generally really good at keeping his cool but he's got absolutely zero (0) patience for several people talking over each other in the same time. There's a reason he demanded his own lab space when everyone moved over to the CoE.

W. What’s their favourite sport?

If dancing is considered a sport (I believe it is?) Petthri might eventually get him to be interested enough as a spectactor. Let that be a future arc.

Otherwise literally no interest in any at all.

X. What’s their biggest fear?

Death. And I don't mean it in a 'most people find thinking about their own mortality uncomfortable' way, I mean it in a seriously phobic way. It keeps him up at night. He's had numerous seriously bad panic attacks over it. Based important decisions on it.

There was a time of his life it got somewhat better but it's catching up to him again recently.

Y. What physical object do they value most?

Whatever omious instrument I'll decide on that he owns will probably be valuable to him. I have no idea otherwise.

Z. What’s their relationship status?

Officially single (and it will stay that way). Unofficially complicated.

For the really curious: I suppose their current relationship is best described as "friends with benefits". No they have not kissed yet. I'm gonna first have to figure out when and how and why and if at all and

That said I have this shitpost scene-that'll-never-happen in my head of Luqqah meeting Lahpp and Petthri during the whole EoD disaster and in a moment of quiet she and Lahpp sit together. And she looks him in the eyes and goes "So are you two boyfriends?" And before he can even try to defend himself she continues "You break up with me because you figure out you're gay. And then you're gay for that?" Poor Petthri.

[marc-anciel-always-watching]

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

why have you given me this realization

[emo-gremlin]

Me, @ravenpoefan, my bff (you know who you are), and my F/os as memes (feat my bffs f/os)

🥰

Bailey: stop dating attractive women

Thunderhoof: Alright, bet. Where all the fine men at?

🥰

Bailey: stop dating women

Me: no. *dabs*

🥰

Bailey: Stop dating women

Ravenpoe: yes I 100% agree, leave us alone, thank you

🥰

Steeljaw: *picks up a visor masquerading as sunglasses* how much is this?

Me: 9.99

Steeljaw: *puts it on* you think I can get some bitches with these

🥰

Me: you radiate the same energy as a 100 gecs song and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing

My bff: I like to think its both

🥰

Me: I just realized something

Jack: what

Me: every single odd number has an e in it

Jeff: oh dear god what have you done

Me: Listen-

Strade: not all of them. 30 and 50 aren't spelled with the letter e in it

Jeff: oh father god

Strade: if you can split a number in half evenly, it's even. 30 and 50 are odd.

Jack: *questions life choices*

Strade: *scoffs* 15+15=30 and 25+25=30

Atlas: 25+25=30? You sure about that?

Jeff: lord have mercy

Me: ok bye

Peter: 3 days into 2020 shaking my fucking head

My bff: *probably dying from laughing so hard*

Ren: one, three, five, nine. And since everything else after is a variable of these numbers, then all odds have the letter e

Jack: you forgot seven

Jeff: it just keeps getting worse

Ravenpoe: WHA- WHAT IS GOING ON *laughs* I can't even-

Thunderhoof: you whole ass forgot about eight - a number with an e and it's pretty fucking even

Ren: why would 8 be brought up if its EVEN in a conversation about ODDS?! Emo said 'every single odd number has an E in it' not 'every single number with e is odd' WHAT THE FUCK

Me: 3 days until 2021 and we're still here

My bff: happy new year's eve

Steeljaw: I'm going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2022 so future generations can see what a mistake this entire madhouse was

John: uh, guys. 2 is odd and doesn't have an e, just saying

Thunderhoof: did you just deadass try to tell me 2 is odd? I'm fucking crying throw this whole household away

Bff: Dying from the last one

Viren: the one thing I notice is no matter how much you want to throw this whole household away you just...can't

Ravenpoe: TWO IS ODD?! PFFT IM SCREAMING

Gabriel: wait what about zero that's an odd number no?

Jack: *intense regret*

Strade: ok but hear me out, 30 and 50 make up for the fact they have no e by the way they're pronounced third e fifth e

Booker: WHY DO 30 AND 50 FUCKING MATTER THEY'RE FUCKING EVEN

Alan: what the actual fuck is happening

Robin: one is an even number

Me: I'm gonna smack you

Steeljaw: -30 and -50 have an e in them

John: zero isn't a number

Guzma: it can't be divided by 2 though can it?

Ren: it can??? 0/2=0???

Both Jack and Jeff: *in sheer awe of all the stupidity*

Me: OD NUMBERS 1, 3, 5, 7, 9

Gabriel: OD NUMBERS huh?

Elijah: anything that ends in 0 2 4 6 8 is even and the rest is odd 1 3 7 9 stop freaking out yall

Atlas: YOU FORGOT 5

Dimitri: WHAT ABOUT 4

Elijah: what about it

Dimitri: that doesn't have an e in it

Elijah: THATS BECAUSE ITS EVEN

Me: are you guys ok

Bff: IM FUCKING SOBBING RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD

Alan: I'm honestly so confused right now

Ravenpoe: what is going on

Jeff: this is the height of our stupidity, it has to be, or future generations cannot exist

🥰

Ren: you need to stop thinking that you're ugly.

Ren: you are but stop thinking about it

🥰

Strade: 2 tickets please

Bff: what movie?

*camera pans to Strade dressed up as a whole ass minion*

🥰

Alex: I'm so alpha, that I drink BULL'S MILK for breakfast. Keep crying betas.

Lawrence: Shiiiit, look out betas, we got ourselves a badass over here. This motherfucker swallows 🌟 Bull Semen 🌟 *cackles*

🥰

Vegeta: don't expect me to chase you, I'm dominate.

Slappy: *looks at a picture of him* is this him? Now who the hell is this salt and shaker sized man dominating? I don't understand why it's always the men who can't reach the top shelf who try to be all macho macho. Imagine, now you're being dominated by someone who needs a step to climb into bed. And you know I really thought maybe I shouldn't throw insults at this shoebox sized man, maybe I should try to rationalize some of the problematic things he was saying. But then I realized, he literally can't reach that level.

Strade: *walks in the middle of shot* Leprechaun sized ass

Slappy: now imagine being dominated by a man whose feet dangle when he sits in a chair. Why is it always people who cannot reach the overhead compartment in an airplane that have trouble with self worth?

🥰

Me: sorry first time being kidnapped, kinda nervous

Me: so like, why did you pick me? Do you think I'm cute?

Strade: I'm gonna kill you

Me: ok daddy vibes, we love abad boy king and I wanna die ;P

Strade: there's something wrong with your generation

Robin: freeze! Police! You're safe now ma'am

Me: ok we police it's not that deep, chill and did you assume my gender? Because that's offensive

Robin: but I'm here to-

Me: THAT'S OFFENSIVE

🥰

Bff: show me one tiny small object that you pointlessly have

Bailey: ...

Atlas: *cackles* Small dick mother-

🥰

Jak: Are chicken tenders vegan?

Jack: No, Jak, chicken tenders are not vegan

Jak: *goes to speak again*

Jack: chicken wings aren't vegan either

🥰

Jak: *filming a great forest view*

*Lawrence appears in frame*

Jak: hi

Lawrence: ok

🥰

Bo: I love you bitch *strums guitar*

Me and my bff: oh my god

Bo: *strums guitar* I ain't never stop loving you....bitch

🥰

Strade and Jak: yo Gabriel!

Gabriel: *quickly dabs*

Strade and Jak: OOOOOOOOOOO

🥰

Slappy: *screams*

Jack: STOP! I COULD'VE DROPPED MY CROISSANT!

🥰

Whitney: you got something to say clown?

Jack: your mother has a job and is a respected member of the community

🥰

My bff: just think about it, Emo. All the control, all the power, all the FREE CHICKEN

🥰

Jeff: how come every time I take you to the mall it burns to the ground?

Spamton: I blame the economy

🥰

Kylar: I'll be anything you want me to be!

My bff: *whacking him with a huge stick* I WANT YOU TO BE DEAD

🥰

Elijah: why do the good die young?

Strade: mostly because I get impatient

🥰

Jack: I love helping kids, Jeff! I love kids. I LOVE KIDS!

Jeff: Jack, uh I really would not be screaming that at the top of your lungs

🥰

*trying to give Lawrence a makeover*

Lawrence: how do I look, guys?

Ren: o.0

Peter: you look like you just told your friends not to come to school tomorrow man

🥰

Jack: more espresso, less depresso

Robin: *downs 3 iced coffees* I'm still depressed but now I'm fast.