#every time i think about yue’s death i just get really sad

[survivalove]

I was thinking about how much yue’s death must have meant to katara (and I honestly believe her death had the most impact on her after her mom’s, yes even more than jet) in the narrative sense.

imagine katara finally reaching the north in all its grandeur, meeting her northern equivalent and she’s probably thinking how much better off yue had it than her. but then yue goes on to make the ultimate sacrifice, not just for the world but specifically for the water tribe and waterbending. and then how much waterbending has always been such an integral part of katara’s character and how like her mom, yue gave her life so katara (and the entire tribe) could not only survive but live on waterbending.

and then just how much yue’s narrative is a foil to katara’s arc just as much as azula’s is:

these two princesses trying to meet their father’s expectations and both meeting their tragic end (re: defeat for azula) as they do just that.

especially yue, being a girl i don’t believe she was going to be a chief hence her arranged marriage to hahn. her life has always been carved out for her and the only way she breaks free from this is by literally dying, but of course, she dies for her people. she makes her father proud while freeing herself from the life he sets out for her by simultaneously losing the ability to live at all.

i also think it’s fascinating how yue a nonbender growing up in the north where she never would have learnt how to fight anyway becomes the most powerful waterbender ever in death.

and then you have katara, who is if nothing else, a survivor. katara is a female character that gets to choose where she lives, who she loves, when she fights, heals etc. without any pushback from her father or anyone in her tribe. her legacy extends past her home and goes beyond the men in her family but it’s because of women like yue and her mom that she has the chance to do so.

so i think katara would hold yue in high regard and her death would definitely have impacted her (at least symbolically) more than the canon lets on.

i also like to think katara spent some time with yue realizing they have more in common than just daughters of the chief. idk maybe she thought yue would have been too naive and pampered in the beginning but that’s just me projecting atp.

i think they would have bonded due to yue’s spirituality and her storytelling, possibly filling little gaps in katara’s cultural knowledge like the story of the moon and ocean spirits. i think katara would have appreciated it and in return yue probably relished having a female friend that wasn’t trying to compete with her or kiss up to her for brownie points, which i imagine happens in societies with nobility if jane austen adaptations have taught me anything.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Momtara fans, who usually are ztara fans trying to make the ship seem more feminist, have this weird attitude with sokka. One thing a lot of these fans think is that katara buried all her emotions and took on all the emotional labour for the gaang, specifically her brother- which is blatantly untrue and a great misread of her character because in the series we see so many times how she allows herself to be angry, to be happy and sad. she's a very emotional character. but there's this opinion that katara stepped up to be sokkas mom, and that he got over his trauma because of it, and they use this as a reason for why katara takes the emotional labour but it is so untrue. Like the momtara argument based on the fact katara stepped up into kyas role doesn't really work, because we know sokka stepped up into hakodas. You can tell this opinion is biased because even though katara did help her brother a lot, sokka buried a lot of his real emotions on things (like his mom and yues death), and had this thought he had to keep her safe. Weirdly enough the momtara argument fits sokka more lol. But either way, it's such a dumbed down reading of sokka because not only does it just tell people you misunderstood his conversation with toph (personally i did not see it as "he views katara as his mom!" More that he associates katara with her sacrifice and that's why he sees her) but also just ignores that he did suffer too. More than one character can suffer, katara did a lot for him but she didn't take it all on, vice versa. He's also dumbed down quite a bit by those shippers as well, but that's a whole other thing.

"Momtara fans, who usually are ztara fans trying to make the ship seem more feminist, have this weird attitude with sokka" Boy, don't I know it. I had a very unpleasant discussion with one of them in the comments of my "In Defense Of Azula" collection of metas on Ao3.

I mentioned fandom misogyny in one of said metas, and that person, somehow, thought that that was the perfect opportunity and place to say shit like "Sokka never really cared about Katara, every nice thing he ever did for her was all about wanting to be 'Macho', not out genuine affection" and I was just in SHOCK at such an obvious bad-faith reading of the character and story. I could not understand what the fuck that person had against Sokka to just flat out about him like that.

Then they started ranting about how nobody in the Gaang truly cared about Katara, essentially treated her as their maid, and then just "casually" mentioned how she'd be much happier in the Fire Nation because they're totally a more egalitarian nation, and I was like "Okay, I get it now. This person is a zutarian and they think they have to dunk on every character that isn't Zuko." I checked their profile and yup, that was exactly the case. Thank God Ao3 lets you block/mute users now.

[quazartranslates]

Welcome to the Nightmare Game II - CH43

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

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Chapter 43: Star Death Reality Show (XXVI)

Just like watching a poor lamb trapped in a hunter's snare, wailing would not arouse the compassion of a seasoned hunter. On the contrary, the hunter would only be excited about the delicious food dying.

Looking at Qi Leren who had been struck by lightning, Su He said faintly, "I know many ways to avoid contracts, but it’s not easy to do. Most of the methods are one-off skills or items, or there is an extremely long cooldown time. Even if you don't have one… It’s best to be careful."

Qi Leren gawked at Su He, as if he had been drained of all his strength. He didn't say a word for a long time, and his lowered head did not show anger. Only his eyelashes were shaking, as if he was almost unable to bear such a failure, and he was crying.

This long silence was not ridiculous, but sad.

It was like watching a gambler at the end of his rope, piling up all the chips on the gambling table and then losing everything.

Everything that followed seemed to be a mechanical repetition. Qi Leren once again signed his name on the parchment with no facial expression, and the signed letters were distorted by his shaking. At the moment when he put down his pen, his spine seemed to be knocked out section by section, slumping on his chair and silently watching the sunrise.

A rising sun that would never rise.

"Can I leave now?" Qi Leren asked softly, looking deeply tired.

"Anytime, but I suggest you stay a little longer or even get some sleep. Anyway, I have adjusted the time flow rate in this area for you, so you won’t be delayed too long." Su He, like a considerate friend who fully thought of him, gave him friendly advice.

But Qi Leren didn't want to stay any longer. He was willing to face the monster in the institute, and didn't want to face Su He. So he stood up, and the chair rudely dragged a harsh sound across the ground.

"I'm leaving," Qi Leren said stubbornly, his tone carrying the anger of being deceived.

"If you insist, go ahead." Su He wasn’t reluctant, anyway. His purpose had been achieved.

The Witch of Lust looked at Qi Leren curiously, because his attitude was disrespectful. As a native devil accustomed to the hierarchical atmosphere of the underworld, she didn't quite understand the relationships between human beings. Sometimes a worm could say "no" to an elephant, which was really interesting in her eyes.

To be fair, Su He was not a strict leader. If the object of comparison was the Devil of Power who had a strong desire to control, then he was an easygoing boss. If you wanted to compare him with the Devil of Slaughter, then he was a perfect boss—at least he wouldn't go crazy and dare to kill anyone, leaving him in his current state of lying half-dead under lava. The Devil of Fraud was quite tolerant of his subordinates, sometimes even almost deliberately indulgent towards them. He seldom pointed out your mistakes, but every time you made a mistake, he would remember it, but he would not show it. This attitude made people feel that he didn't care about them. This slightly malicious indulgence contributed to the weakness and self-deception in human nature, and he watched and waited with great interest until you finally crossed the boundaries he set for you...

Then you would find that you had lost everything. Even if you knelt at his feet and kissed the tips of his shoes and begged him to give you another chance, he wouldn't look at you again.

This extreme gentleness and extreme coldness combined to form a contradictory and complicated person. The witches favored him and feared him. Even the Witch of Lust, who was famous for her debauchery, was much more disciplined in front of him. At least when she appeared in front of Su He, she would pick clothes from her closet that didn’t show her off. When Su He told her to dress properly to entertain guests, she would always find a dress that wrapped her from head to foot. However, in order to express her dissatisfaction, she didn't mind expressing her protest in a small way by means of excessive obedience. Her boss didn't care about this level of protest.

He was really unpredictable sometimes.

She had thought that trying to deceive the Devil of Fraud would make people lose his favor and even irritate him, but Su He's reaction was just the opposite. It seemed that he had added ten points in his heart to this audacious human being.

The Witch of Lust yawned a little and watched the poor man hesitate by the chair. She looked at Su He's face and asked politely, "Shall I take you out, baby?"

"Thank you," Qi Leren, who was worried about how to leave, said quickly.

Su He’s left hand on the armrest of the chair supported his cheek. He asked without warning, "Who gave you the necklace around your neck?"

Qi Leren's cold sweat came back again. In these past few minutes in the field, he had experienced great ups and downs, and his nerves were over-stressed. He had become a frightened bird. He was just glad that he had successfully crossed the border, and he was ready to keep this state and leave quickly. Who knew that Su He would come out with something else?

Fortunately, Su He hadn't found it.

He hadn't found that when he signed his name for the first time, he hadn't used any skill cards at all.

No, he hadn't.

He had made a wonderful deduction—he had successfully deceived Su He once, using an item of unknown origin as the laptop. So this time, under almost the same precondition, would Su He still fall for it? Would he believe that he had honestly signed the contract and was ready to fulfill it? He was not an obedient man in Su He’s eyes.

The best way to dispel Su He's doubts was to make him feel that he had seen through him, expose him personally, watch him suffer, despair, and collapse, and then watch him give in.

So he had had a bold plan, and he had decided to take a gamble. Then he had succeeded.

He was so ecstatic that he had to lower his head to hide his inner secret and fanatical joy and let that passion explode as fireworks in his heart.

However, he also had to consider that this decision would bring him great risks in the future—when he was really raised to a half-field, how should he explain it to Su He?

This concern slightly diluted the excited mood, and even the last resort was shattered by Su He’s sudden question, which made Qi Leren tremble with fear.

"This aura... It’s the Prophet’s?" Su He asked, raising his eyebrows.

Qi Leren did not say yes, nor did he say no. He asked, "Do you know the Prophet?"　　

As if they could never talk well, Su He also threw out a rhetorical question: "Don't you think that the Village of Dawn is too similar to the Village of Dusk?"

Qi Leren was stupefied. So, it turned out that this field was not a "field that imitates the scenery of the Village of Dawn" as Su He had once said, but was the real Village of Dawn.

But if the Village of Dawn was a field, then the Village of Dusk...

Qi Leren suddenly understood. The Prophet who slept beneath the Courthouse and spent most of his time in the cold ice pool, it turned out that he had been silently supporting the Village of Dawn that sheltered mankind. As a player, he did not know how to escape the sanctions of time. He had even spent more than 20 years completing compulsory tasks, and had survived to this day.

"A naive idealist inherited Maria's will, created a box of time with the belief of protecting, and fixed the newly established refuge under dusk forever. His original force was 'time'. Originally, he was the one most likely to evade mission sanctions, if he had not lost to the box." Su He's expression was full of compassion and tenderness.

The Prophet’s original force? Qi Leren seemed to understand. He knew that some of the higher demons had original forces, such as jealousy, lust, despair... They were getting stronger and stronger while approaching the original force. At the level of the three Devil Kings, they had almost merged with the original force.

But did the Prophet, a field-level human being, also have his own original force?

His force, was it time?

Qi Leren's heart was full of curiosity and doubt, but Su He had no intention to solve his doubts: "Go, don't challenge your limits with your life, you’ll never know what kind of miracle you will create. Although 99.9% of people end up dead through this process, I sincerely hope that you are the exception, because I have some expectations for you.

"Qi Leren, today's adventure is only the first step. I am waiting for the day when you complete the transformation," Su He said.

The beautiful Village of Dawn began to become blurred, and even Su He's voice gradually drifted away, as if separated by a dream.

When Qi Leren came to his senses, he still stood in the corridor on the lowest level of the institute, and only a few seconds had passed.

It was the fourth day of the game... No, the zero hour had passed, and it was the fifth day. He didn't know if the army’s ship could arrive. He had reason to suspect that it wouldn't come too quickly. After all, the rescue was always late after all the problems were solved.

Su He said that he had released the octopus in the underground glacier, which was definitely more difficult than the ones he had encountered before. He needed to upgrade his equipment, such as finding a rocket launcher like what Mark had used against him.

This was in the institute’s armoury, but Qi Leren hadn’t taken it since he hadn’t expected to use it. He decided to double back and look for it. In addition, we should find a NPC that was still alive, and take them to the instrument that could detect whether they had become a host, and he hoped to meet Dr. Lu and Du Yue along the way...

Qi Leren returned to the stairs and began to go up. When he passed the power room, he went in again, restarted the power supply, and restored power to the whole underground research institute.

With the light, he was feeling much better. Qi Leren finally recovered from the frightening meeting just now, stopped thinking about Su He, and absorbed himself in preparing for the next challenge. According to game logic, there must be a restock of supplies before the war. Unfortunately, the copy world did not necessarily come according to game logic, so he had to rely on himself. He didn't want to rush unprepared into that horrible boss battle.

Suddenly there was a noise in the corner of the power distribution room. Qi Leren suddenly looked towards it and raised the gun in his hand, shouting, "Who?"

"...It's me." He Yi stood up. His condition looked worse than before. He was emaciated and almost withered. "Mark came in, I met him!"

Qi Leren was taken aback and realized that what he said was in reference to when Qi Leren had wanted to leave the institute through the laser corridor before, but He Yi, who had made an agreement with him to cut off the power supply, did not cut off the power in time—because at that time, Mark had moved the debris in Annie's basement and had entered the institute to attack He Yi.

"I’ve taken care of him, and Annie, Xue Jiahui, and Francis; all four of them were parasitized," Qi Leren said calmly.

He Yi looked at him in astonishment: "How did you do it?"

If it weren't for the enemy at present, Qi Leren would still use the rhetoric of "an apostle of God" to fool him. Unfortunately, now that his Prophet's Heart skill was cooling down, he didn't need to continue acting. He simply said: "It's a long story. Let's talk about it when we have time. Right now we’re in danger..."

"I know." He Yi leaned wearily against the wall and smiled bitterly. "It’s come out."

"What?" Qi Leren became nervous.

"That monster..." He Yi looked desperately at the ceiling above his head, as if he were an outlaw being chased by troops behind the cliff ahead, and murmured in a low voice, "We can't escape."

"Do you... Do you know something?" Qi Leren finally asked the question that lingered in his mind.

For a long time, He Yi's attitude had been a bit strange. Qi Leren hadn't thought much at first, but with the discovery of the plot, he had to face up to this problem—He Yi, he was an insider.

"Why is there an amphioctopus here? Why did I happen to find a basement when I was kidnapped by Mark? Why am I able to blow up the access to the research institute accurately but I am safe and sound? Why can this institute’s power supply, which has been off for many years, still be used? Why do I know where there are weapons and how to use the equipment? Have you thought about these questions?" He Yi asked, one question after another.

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Editor’s Notes: To clarify, the “forces” mentioned in this chapter are along the line of forces of nature but on a more human scale, ie. the “forces” the witches and demons have as their titles. A closer translation would have been to use “power”, but I wanted to make sure it was distinct since “power” is already used in several other contexts in this novel.

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[reinerispretty]

rotations. (zuko x f!reader) pt6

hello!! i wanted to say thank you so much for all of your wonderful likes, comments, reblogs, asks, and everything in between!! it really means a ton to me knowing that you guys actually like this story and my writing :) remember that if you have any suggestions don’t hesitate to send me an ask or a message, and pls share if you can!! much love to you all

pt 1

pt 5

pt 7

“Perfect,” he breathed out as his eyes saw the boat. “You hop down first.”

“What? No way! I’m the one that can actually firebend here. You go first so you don’t get hurt.”

“Do you always have to argue with me?”

“Only when your plans are stupid!”

A whisper came through the cell bars. She blinked her eyes open and sat up quickly. “Here to tell me I’m a traitor again?” She called out into the dark. 

“I’m actually here to rescue you but I can call you a traitor if you want.” 

(Y/N) never thought she’d be so happy to hear that voice. “Sokka!” She exclaimed. “What are you doing here? Where are Aang and Katara?” 

“It was too dangerous for either of them to come. I snuck on the ship to come break you out.” He jingled a set of keys in his hand. “Got these from the guard I managed to knock out. Impressive, huh?” 

“Yeah, yeah, my hero. Now open the door!” Sokka unlocked her cell. She turned around and he quickly made work of her ties. Once she was free, she stretched her hands and fingers, happy to feel the warm sensation of fire underneath her fingertips. “How’d you get onto the boat?” 

“I took a small rowboat and tied it to the mast. If the waves stay calm, it should still be there.” 

“And if they don’t?” 

“I guess we’re in for a swim,” Sokka shrugged. She smiled at him nervously before grabbing his hand and making a run for it. She wasn’t quite sure where she was going, but she let her feet lead her anyway. Her goal was to get to the top deck without running into any Fire Nation soldiers. Of course, luck wasn’t always on her side. 

They encountered soldiers at nearly every corner they turned. Luckily, they were so shocked to see the prisoner out of her cell and a Water Tribe boy that they had very little time to react before she and Sokka were knocking them out. 

The pair reached the top deck and doubled over on their knees, breathing heavily. Sokka helped her to her feet and led her to the side of the ship where his boat was. They looked down to make sure it was still there. 

“Perfect,” he breathed out as his eyes saw the boat. “You hop down first.” 

“What? No way! I’m the one that can actually firebend here. You go first so you don’t get hurt.” 

“Do you always have to argue with me?” 

“Only when your plans are stupid!” 

A column of flame shot past the two of them, missing their bodies by only inches. They looked at each other in surprise before (Y/N) quickly hid Sokka behind her own body. She shot fire balls from her hands back at the attacker. The smoke from their attacks dissipated quickly, revealing Zuko. He launched himself in the air, kicking flames at her face. She sent fire wheel after fire wheel at him until he was completely surrounded. She turned to Sokka. 

“You have to go.” 

“No, I’m not leaving you again.” As her back was turned, Zuko rushed towards her. Sokka reacted quicker than she could and used the force of his body to knock Zuko to the ground. She flinched as she heard the breath get knocked out of Zuko’s body. 

Before she could turn back to look at him, Sokka was grabbing her hand and pulling her over the edge of the ship. She yelled as they fell, but Sokka pulled her body into his to shield her from the impact of the water. 

She emerged from the dark waters with a gasp of air and scramble around frantically to find her friend. “I’m right here,” he said. He led her to the boat and lifted her up inside it. She collapsed on the floor of the boat, coughing water out of her lungs. Sokka climbed in after her and immediately began rowing them back to shore, where Katara and Aang were waiting. 

She breathed heavily as Sokka rowed before slowly sitting up. “Thank you,” she said. “I don’t like the idea of anyone rescuing me but...I’m glad it was you.” She coughed again and rubbed her neck, her face becoming hot. “I mean, I’m glad you did it.” 

“Even if you do annoy me, you’re still part of our family now. Plus, it’s kinda cool to actually see you use your firebending.” She smiled. “Especially against Zuko, man, it really seemed like he had something personal against you.” 

She laughed bitterly. “I guess you could say that.” It hurt, knowing that Zuko viewed her as a traitor, but it hurt worse knowing what the Fire Nation had turned him into. He was irrational and angry and almost nothing like the Zuko she used to know. 

(Y/N) hated crying, but ever since she had left the Fire Nation, she had been doing a lot of it. She didn’t even realize she was crying until she noticed Sokka looking at her. He stopped rowing to scoot closer to her. “Are you okay?” She wiped furiously at her eyes and cheeks before shaking her head. 

“Zuko and I used to be best friends.” Sokka inhaled a sharp breath. “And we kinda, sorta, were almost engaged.” This time, Sokka let out a whole gasp. “He didn’t always used to be like this, I promise! He was nice and we used to do everything together. I hadn’t seen him in over two years and then when we finally saw each other again...” She gestured loosely around them. “It hurts a lot, barely recognizing someone you cared about so much.” 

Sokka remained silent for a few moments as he stared at her. Then, taking her hand in his own, he tilted her head up to look at him. “I know how much it hurts, losing someone you love. But it gets better. I promise.” 

She smiled sadly. “Thank you, Sokka.” She pulled away from his touch but touched her own face where his hand once was. It felt tingly. 

“Besides,” Sokka said as he started rowing again. “You’re way too awesome to date someone with a horrible ponytail.” 

(Y/N) couldn’t contain her laughter.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The adventures (Y/N) shared with her friends happened at almost every turn. They narrowly evaded escape from Admiral Zhao, had visited the Northern Air Temple and flown on gliders for the first time, and had travelled to the Northern Water Tribe so that Katara and Aang could master waterbending. Their trip to the north had resulted in disastrous circumstances. Once again, (Y/N) had to fight against not only her nation, but one of her old friends. It saddened her deeply to fight against people she had once loved, even if she knew she was doing it for the right reasons. 

The battle in the North had strengthened the group’s friendship exponentially. No longer did (Y/N) feel like she was an outsider, or that she needed to tread carefully in what she said to her friends. She was able to laugh around the campfire with them and also make them laugh, like the time she had told them she had accidentally caught Zuko’s pants on fire when they were children. She felt comfortable and, most importantly, she felt safe. 

She developed a different kind of relationship with each member of their small family. Aang, although older than her but somehow younger at the same time, had become averse to firebending ever since he had accidentally burned Katara. He made (Y/N) promise not to try to teach him and resolved that he would take down the Fire Lord without firebending. She knew it was impossible, but he seemed so upset about it that she agreed. Instead, they spent their time together exchanging history. Aang told her what it was like growing up one hundred years ago, and (Y/N) filled him in on everything he had missed since then. Even the small stuff, like the invention of bubblebaths. 

Katara had more than warmed up to her since (Y/N) first joined their group. (Y/N) had really tried to make an effort with Katara, since some part of her felt responsible for her mother’s death. They cooked together, did the laundry together, and even walked into town together when the boys weren’t paying attention. They eventually became so comfortable around each other that she had poured out her life’s story to Katara on one rainy afternoon. After she was done talking, she realized that when speaking with Katara, she didn’t fear disappointment or apathy. Instead, her Water Tribe friend provided her with the best advice she could give, and a hug warmer than any she’d had in the Fire Nation. 

It was Sokka and (Y/N)’s relationship that took the most drastic turn. After their experience in the Northern Water Tribe and his loss of Yue, Sokka quit his small digs at her. He knew that she understood what it was like, to lose someone that you loved. Their time together was no longer filled with snide comments about the other’s upbringing; instead, Sokka had been teaching her how to fight! She knew some martial arts, since it was the basis of firebending, but she had never fought with a weapon before. On relaxed days, they trained together. She taught him hand-to-hand combat and he taught her how to fight with a sword. 

“You’re a fast learner,” Sokka said after one of their lessons. They sat together at the edge of the lake they had camped beside. He used a stick and a piece of string with a hook on the end to create a make-shift fishing pole. 

She smiled at the compliment. “Wish I could say the same about you.” He shoved her and she laughed. “You’re not too bad yourself. You know I can’t give you a regular compliment. It’d go to that big head of yours.” Despite himself, Sokka let out a smile. 

“You’re so mean to me,” he said. “Are you this mean to all of your friends?” 

“Only to the ones I especially like.” She thought back to her time in the Fire Nation. She could do that now, without getting very sad about it. “Back home, I always had to watch what I said. I was around the royal family a lot, so it was rare when I could really say what was on my mind.” She turned to Sokka, squinting her eyes from the sun. “Teasing is just the way I show that I care. I don’t mean to be well, mean.” 

“I don’t really think you’re mean.” 

“Good,” she grinned, tucking her legs into herself. “Because you haven’t seen nothin’ yet.” 

“Have you guys caught anything yet?” Katara called out. “I’m starving!” 

She stood quickly, shot her flames at the water, and took the fish that floated to the top in her hands. “Coming!” She shouted before running back toward camp. Sokka gathered his things to run after her. 

“You let me fish for an hour when you could do that this whole time?” 

---

i know what this chapter looks like. and yes. but all in due time. 

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[viriyanon]

'tired' ? for your challenge :P

a.n. anon u... u reel me into a very dangerous thought okay. for the first 3 minutes, congratulation. but not after that. not toDAY SATAN!!1!1!1!!1

also. this is unexpectedly LONG. SO. LONG.

jiang yuelou sighs in annoyance after hanging up zhan junbai's phone call, telling him that his men failed to track down hong kong's emerging opium dealer that currently supplies jing city with an unidentified type of poppy. the whole police bureau is on fire due to this discovery.

"all i could confirm is that they indeed sell a new type of opium, presumably from india. but we failed to extract any information about the leader, let alone catching them. they were enforced by british authorities and my men suddenly were outnumbered," says junbai dimly from the other side of the line, clearly not liking the unpredicted variable in their perfectly planned undercover.

the executive offers an apology, which yuelou dismisses in a second 'cause executive zhan, regardless this one very failure, is still the best external alliance ever. the most reliable source, partner, and friend. yuelou can't ask for a better connection than zhan junbai.

but that doesn't change the current result. coming with that are mayor cai's aggravation and bai jinbo's wrath. song rong and sun yongren can only dip their head down watching the commissioner throw those paper in their boss' face, saying how incompetent yuelou is.

("well, let's see if commissioner bai can capture them by himself!" sun yongren says quietly, aggressively biting a baozi in his head 'cause it's pass dinner already.)

so, having a bad day is an understatement. it's beyond bad, it's bad bad. jiang yuelou is not someone who accepts defeat easily, he never wants to be one step behind. when he's one step behind, he must be in the chasing mode—he must be the one controlling the lane, the illusion of safety margin that manipulates the target's decision, the pace of their game. but today, someone else's successfully taking over him without his permission, dragging him around like a lifeless ragdoll.

thinking about him getting controlled by an unknown party burns him, anger boils in his vein—violence at the tip of his fingers, ready to transfer his rage to anything and anyone without mercy. upon seeing jiang yuelou disappear into his room, song rong and sun yongren immediately rush to every corridor that yuelou will have to walk through to exit the building, telling everyone not to initiate any conversation if their boss pass them by to avoid making the bureau a blood painted crime scene.

"don't- don't talk to chief jiang when he walks out, understand?!" sun yongren repeats the same information to some rookies coming in for their night shift before running to other corridor. the young officers, still with their idealism and lack of experience, take it with a grain of salt.

next thing they know is they freeze under the wall-mounted lamp as jiang yuelou grimly walks down the corridor. noone says anything to him, not even looking up from the carpeted tiles after they nod to salute him. his subordinates immediately clear out of his way, bumping their shoulders into the wall to avoid bumping into the walking wrath instead.

the said chief passes by the rookies too, giving them a side-eye, and they feel like they just get caressed by death. the yellow lights from the filament lamp falls on his pale white face, clenched jawline, and riled expression every two meter, making his appearance more hair-rising due to scanty lighting and blank spots. in addition, winter wind is particularly strong this week, easily slipping inside from the gap between the window frame and the stone surface. the corridor, dimly lit and gravely chilling, feels like a gate to the underworld and yán wáng is coming to take them personally, for a good minute.

the chief keeps striding without diverting his attention anymore, eyes fixed forward to shove everyone aside. he only has one destination set in his mind now and before he gets to it, his revolver will aim towards whoever gets in his way and extricate them his way, which usually is... freestyle.

when yuelou arrives in front of yuzhi’s front gate, he can’t help the bubbling anger overflowing his already small pot. the wooden doors are closed, tight, locked, yelling at him “no chen yuzhi today.” noone in this world would understand the immense effect this sentence can do to jiang yuelou who has grown a co-dependency with the doctor. today is marked as yuelou’s worst setback in life.

the chief exhales loudly, admitting his defeat to the universe, and makes his way towards his house with heavy shoulders. the rage and anger he wanted to lash out recklessly towards chen yuzhi douses entirely by the fact that the doctor’s not home to listen to him vent. thank goodness the snowfall is not heavy today unless he’d bury himself under the thick snow in one of jing city’s darkest alley. it’s sad that he is alone in this big, big world today. dramatic, but valid.

just when he’s about to open the gate to his house, he sees they are already unlocked. jiang yuelou never forgets unlocking his own house. facing unforeseen danger on daily basis, yuelou immediately slips his hand into his jacket and pulls out the revolver from its holster. he opens the wooden gate slowly, trying not to make even a creak from the rusty hinge and accidentally announce his appearance instead.

slowly but steadily, the gap widens and he steps inside with his arms are stretched out, his revolver is ready for some quick shooting. but he is welcomed with his brightly lit house in lieu of a group of opium dealers whose lives he ruined in the past. his eyes widen in disbelief upon seeing steam rising from freshly cooked foods on his dining table. yuelou freezes from his place, his arms gradually lowering themselves as well as his self defense.

soon, a man dressed in a warm ivory white knitted turtleneck appears with two plates of dish in his hand coming out from his kitchen and setting them on the table with other dishes. his hair, as usual, combed neatly—unlike yuelou’s hasty finger-combing technique. he is wearing yuelou’s slipper, the one he left behind in his living room when he was off to work. the moment the said man looks up and meets him in the eyes, a smile blossoms on his face, so beautiful yuelou can feel his heart wrenches from the mere sight.

"yuelou? you're home."

this is the view he's always dreaming of for God knows how long but never dares to tell. to come home to chen yuzhi dressed in a warm clothes, smiling under the bright light of jiang residence and welcoming him with a tight hug. and if he tells him he misses him into his ear, yuelou will pepper him with kisses all over his face, free of charge for undeterminable time, until yuzhi is tired from giggling and trying to escape from his iron grip. until he puts his palm over yuelou's lips as the last attempt to prevent him from attacking his face again and smile playfully at yuelou's temporary defeat. until the glint in his gleaming doe eyes changes into something like want, something that sounds like a request to kiss him properly if yuelou has some energy left to be wasted.

and jiang yuelou will not ask twice if he catches yuzhi's eyes flicker to his lips just once and goes back to meet his eyes. because yuzhi will see him doing the same thing too and he will understand that both of them want it.

jiang yuelou slams the wooden gate close, storming towards chen yuzhi whose eyes widen at his explosive reaction. impulsivity has neither been a best friend nor a rival, in yuelou’s case, but he learns to run for what his heart longs the most. and this is the first time his body really runs for what his heart wants. his heart wants comfort.

the chief throws away his revolver once he is inside his house and immediately reaches out for the doctor. one of his arm pulls yuzhi closer to his body as tight as he could while the other one is fixated on yuzhi's jawline, gently tilting it to a better angle ‘cause,

fuck this.

"yue-"

chen yuzhi never finishes his name as yuelou closes their gap and captures his upper lip, his teeth painfully clashing against yuelou as the latter miscalculates his strength. but yuelou doesn’t stop to apologize like every time he accidentally hurt him, instead crowding him against the dining table and kissing the light out of him as if the last time he had a meal was a thousand years ago.

yuzhi is confused, very confused. this is not their first kiss, but this is the first kiss that yuelou does so overly rough, messy, and raw, like a mass mayhem in a week long blackout. he knows yuelou tends to be stormy when his trauma is triggered or his mission falls by the wayside but he never lets this kind of weather affects his behavior and treatment towards chen yuzhi. after the doctor treats him routinely and he gradually gets better at controlling his emotion.

understanding and patiently waiting are yuzhi’s best weapons to pacify yuelou, returning him back to the ground until both of his feet firmly embed to the soil. he only needs to mold it into a form of physical affection without trying to change his pace. something that jiang yuelou will perceive as an act of submission. only this way, yuelou can and will melt. he is not a man who can be persuaded by asserting one’s power on him, and coercion is never chen yuzhi’s forte anyways.

the doctor gently squeezes yuelou’s shoulder once where he places his hands before and moves to hook them around his neck. he buries his right hand in his black hair, his fingers are warm and heavy against the skin of yuelou’s head. his thumb is rubbing a small circle on his back head tenderly, like a mantra he does it over and over again until jiang yuelou comes back to his sense.

that’s when yuelou’s grip on his waist loosens little by little, his turbulent kissing reduces to a slower and intimate one—the one that always trips chen yuzhi and makes him fall deeper for the other man and his enigma. soft moan slips out of his lips only to get muffled by yuelou’s inadvertent growl. 

they gasp for air eventually but never leaving their hands from each other’s body, not quite ready to let go. in between their huff and puff, yuelou steals a soft kiss on yuzhi’s cheekbone.

“i’m sorry, love. i was–” yuelou hesitantly looks up, straight into yuzhi’s eyes. the decision is a bad move, probably the only bad move that yuelou has ever made ‘cause the emotion in yuzhi’s eyes, they remain calm and considerate, far from judgmental nor do they spiteful. his lips are bruised as hell but his eyes, they never stop glistening with benevolence and never-ending patience towards his lover.

jiang yuelou can’t stand the guilt rising in the depth of his heart after seeing them. they are together, chen yuzhi chooses to be with him not to be his outlet of rage. the image of his defenseless late mother flashes in yuzhi’s face and he instantly regrets whatever he forced yuzhi into earlier. even if it’s just a kiss, something he did daily, routinely, sneakily, wholeheartedly, nothing really abusive and malignant about it but yuzhi might be hurt today. and if yuelou hurts him, he is breaking his own rule written on the very top of the list.

“yuzhi, i’m sorry i–” chen yuzhi slides his hands, cupping the older man’s face that looks like a 13 year old boy now under the weight of his guilt. smiling ever so fondly, he says, “you are tired, love.”

words stuck in yuelou’s throat for the third time upon seeing yuzhi’s eyes that have perfectly sensed his weary and withheld agitation. it’s his red light, then. it’s time for him to let yuzhi take control of the situation and do his part of the day. to do what he is the best at that yuelou is the worst at. any other matters can wait until yuzhi deems him to be fully loaded with ammo and health again.

jiang yuelou leans forward into chen yuzhi’s body, resting his feverish forehead on the crook of his lover’s neck, seeking comfort and humanly touch. yuzhi can’t help smiling at yuelou’s clinginess—he never says it but he absolutely loves it. love the idea to take care of the most troublesome chief officer in the whole jing city. love the way his toned muscles and tensed neck relax under his lithe fingers as he bathes him in a bathtub.

“let me prepare hot water for your bath.”

“will you wash my hair too?”

“hm.”

“what else will you wash?”

chen yuzhi presses a kiss on yuelou’s cheek, whispering “make a wish” before walking towards the kitchen, and disappear behind the white wall.

[anambermusicbox]

September 29 Day Countdown (26/29): 2016-2018 Radio Interviews on 动感101《小畅翻牌》

2016/12/20

(2:00) Interviewer, knowing Ukraine has renowned music schools, thought Zhou Shen went to Ukraine specifically to study music before she found out he actually was in dentistry and then switched to music; she asks why he went to Ukraine to study.

Zhou Shen: Simple! Because it’s cheap. (T/N: it’s extremely extremely cheap compared to studying abroad in other countries, and Zhou Shen’s family was quite poor)

(3:00) How did you win your parents over?

ZS: I didn’t. I told them, “Hey, I don’t think I can do this” and they were like “What?” I said, “I really can’t do this.” At first, they didn’t really understand what I was going through at the time. They said, even if I had to retake a year or two, they wanted me to keep going. They said, then take some time to improve in the language. I said, “I really can’t do this anymore,” they said no, and later I went against their wishes and applied to the music conservatory anyways.

(7:30) ZS talks about how he didn’t talk to his parents for months after switching schools, until finally his parents told him, “Then in the future, whatever you do is no longer our concern” and then hung up on him. 

ZS: (8:10) They said, okay we’re not giving you money for school, you figure it out yourself. But parents are like this: they say things but don’t go through with it. So they gave me money for tuition but nothing to cover living expenses. (*laughs*) (Interviewer: They said, whether you eat or not is no longer our concern) Yup. (*laughs*) They said they’d give me money for living expenses only if I studied medicine or language. So I had to borrow money from a classmate for food. I held out for 2 months, starved for 2 months before they said, okay since you’re this persistent, even though we’re still against this- (Interviewer: They still don’t want their son to starve to death) Right, they didn’t want to lose a kid. (*laughs*)

Interviewer: (9:00) When did their attitude finally soften towards your decision? 

ZS: After the Voice. (T/N: ZS didn’t tell his parents before he competed on the show; they found out along with the rest of the public when it aired) [...] They thought, ah okay he’ll be able to take care of himself now, he knows what he’s doing.

Interviewer: (9:50) Are they proud of you?

ZS: Oh yeah, they’re absolutely embarrassing. (*laughs*) After the episode aired, my parents- they run a small business, and customers who came by, my parents would be like, “Look :) who this is :)” and the customer would be like “…??…uuhh who is-“ “ITS HUAN YAN, OUR SON SANG IT!!!” (*laughs*) and then the customer is like “uuhhh ehhrmm….” I wanted to die from the embarrassment oh my gOD, it was so awkward. So awkward. Afterwards, I started avoiding being with them when they were with people. (*laughs*) They- they’re parents; they were happy, and then they started to worry. (*laughs*) This career... how long would I be able to do it for...

(11:50) ZS talks about how surprised he was by how popular Big Fish was; after only a few days, a lot of covers started appearing online. The singers for Big Fish and Begonia’s other OSTs were very big names, Eason Chan and Lala Hsu.

ZS: At first, they planned to have another very big name singer to sing Big Fish (T/N: it was supposed to be Faye Wong!), but because of reasons, their plan never came to fruition. The song’s lyricist, Yin Yue, she’s really too good to me. She kept insisting to the director, “Zhou Shen can sing this song, you should let him try,” but the director honestly didn’t care. The production company and the director, they wanted someone had enough influence to promote the film. (Interviewer: But congratulations to them, they ended up choosing the right person for the song! :D)

(19:30) ZS: “[After Masked Singer], my parents, they posted a WeChat moment they was quite touching—they said “Our son sang so well and seeing him work so hard—we want him to continue singing.” (Interviewer: Oh so they go online often?”) Yeah, only because I spent years teaching them.” (*laughs*) 

(19:45) ZS: “Every time I come home, my parents play my songs non-stop. I asked them, aren’t you sick of listening to it? Later I asked my sister, and she told me they play my songs all the time everyday. I felt like, wah (Interviewer: “All these years of being a host, and my own parents are the most avid viewers of my program.”) Wow… auntie uncle, I’m very sorry… (T/N: LKJNASFDFA THIS MADE ME SPIT OUT MY FOOD I WAS EATING HAHAHA) they’re gonna hate me. [...] I think, being a parent is really such hard work.”

2016/12/17

(5:30) ZS talks about how he didn’t sing at all during in his middle school years. Interviewer asks whether he ever tried to conceal his being different from everyone else.

ZS: Actually, when you listen to me talk, I- all these years I’ve already gotten accustomed to making my voice lower, it’s a force of habit. I’ve forgotten what my regular voice is supposed to be like. If I relaxed my throat while speaking it would sound like this—thinner, higher. But now I can’t go back.

(7:50) Interviewer asks whether he’ll try out different styles of music:

ZS: I think right now, people don’t know me well yet. I want people to first know who Zhou Shen is, what kind of songs he sings, and then try other genres, and only then will people want to listen. If release a song, people will be like, who’s Zhou Shen and won’t try listening to it—and if they listen and it’s a genre I’m not good at? Wow, no one’s going to listen.

2018/02/03

(1:50) ZS: “Well for one thing, I really hate my voice. (Interviewer: Why?) A male with this kind of voice is really weird. (Interviewer: It’s unique! It’s memorable. Can you find other people with this kind of voice?) Yup. My dad. (*laughs*) One time, my manager called my dad and he- “Hello?” “Oh hello auntie-” I was like “wAIT WAIT WAIT that’s my dad” (*laughs*) (Interviewer: Can he sing too?) No way, he scares people to death when he sings, he can’t sing. (*laughs*)

(7:45) After Big Fish was released:

ZS: Everyone seemed to like it, it felt- Eh? This is great. After about two weeks though, comments started to appear like: “just found out a man sang this and I feel like vomiting, I deleted this song immediately.” And it wasn’t just this one, there were many comments like it. It was extremely upsetting. I felt like, one of those characters in a sad drama, the kind that gets abandoned and they’re crying like “what did I do to you to make you treat me like this? TT^TT”

Interviewer: It’s like, even if there’s a whole pile of positive comments, if there’s one negative, that’s the one you pay attention to. Even if there are 100 nice comments—

ZS: —if there’s one hurtful comment, that’s the one that sticks with you, exactly! Everyone has this tendency.

(7:20) ZS talks about his duet with Guo Qin again (see translation from another interview talking about it here), how he was just as nervous as he was in his own blind audition and how he would’ve blamed himself if she had lost: “She’s 17—super young, makes me so mad—and she was sitting so calmly; meanwhile, I was standing there, all my limbs trembling—like, who’s supposed to be helping who here?” (*laughs*)

(14:45) About how he’s grateful that he didn’t get popular overnight: 

ZS: If I got popular overnight, I think it would’ve been over for me. Because my singing really did need improvement. Also, I think my album is really important in that in helped me get through a bottleneck period. At that time, I felt like, no matter how I sang it didn’t sound good. I felt like, can I even sing? But the process of recording this album helped me to see where I needed to improve. 

So if I got popular overnight, it really would’ve been over for me, because my singing wouldn’t have improved. It would’ve stopped there. (Interviewer: And you would still believe that you’re really good.) Everyone around you is praising you like (*rapid clapping*) “You sing so well!! You sing so well!! Look at how everyone wants to hire you to sing, you sing super well!!” It’s over- it would really be over. […] I quite like progressing one step at a time.

(18:10) Zhou Shen talks about how, when he got eliminated on the Voice, he wasn’t crying because he lost, but because suddenly going from spending so much time together as a team and having such camaraderie to all but four eliminated was too heartbreaking.

ZS: (20:20) When I got eliminated, I was actually really happy. I don’t like competing, and I felt I didn’t have any pressure on me anymore. I felt bad for Li Wei because I knew there would definitely be a lot more pressure on him now, because now he has to represent our entire team in the future competition. 

After our PK, he—because we both cried so hard—he said (*shrill crying voice*) “Zhou Shen I’ll carry your name and compete to the end!! TT^TT” (*Interviewer laughs*) and I replied, (*shrill crying voice*) “You shouldn’t give yourself so much pressure, don’t carry my name just sing TT^TT” (*laughs*) 

You don’t understand how hard we were crying. After the PK, there had to be a 25-minute intermission because Na-jie had to cry too. So she’s there crying in the mentor area and I’m crying in the eliminated area and Li Wei’s crying in the advancement area. [...] During the blind auditions, every single person earned their place in the team one by one, and now all of them are being taken out one by one—it was quite brutal.

2018/02/10

(1:30) Zhou Shen talks about how he has a longer process to be accepted compared to other singers, because they first have to get over the fact that a man has this type of voice before they truly listen to him sing. Some people react like, WOW amazing!! while others are on the other end of the spectrum:

ZS: Once, I was at a restaurant and at that time, they were broadcasting the blind auditions of the Voice. The restaurant owner just happened to be watching it, and when I appeared, he was like “Eh? Who’s this- WAH-“ and immediately changed the channel. I was like ??? D’: ????? “…can I have some water?” (*laughs*) He changed the channel right in front of me, you know? He didn’t recognize me. It was- (*makes disgruntled noises*) It was really upsetting.

(2:20) ZS, about being on Masked Singer: “That was the first time I felt acknowledged by the sentence ‘wow this girl sings so well!’”

(20:30) In the three years since your debut, have you ever seen a fan who, because of your songs or your voice, their life changed?

ZS: Have I seen that personally? That would be impossible, but I have read about it in letters and comments. There was one comment, this person—they had depression, the kind that they were being prescribed medication for—but they started listening to my music and slowly started to become happier, their mental health improved. I was so astonished—music is really so powerful.

Another one was- to be honest, men with this type of voice are actually not uncommon. It’s really not just me. Once, I was at karaoke with an old schoolmate—middle school or high school, I forget—and he said, “because of you, Zhou Shen, because you sang in that competition [the Voice], I’m now brave enough to sing at karaoke. It feels like, even with this kind of voice, I can sing too.” That moment—I was so moved.

2018/05/19

(3:45) ZS talks about how Gao Xiaosong was really satisfied with how the album turned out, and how Gao Xiaosong is actually really thin.

Interviewer: Why do you always have to mention that? No one is asking about whether he’s fat or thin.

ZS, joking: How else do you think I got this album—I kept complimenting him as thin (T/N: HAHAHAHAHA)

[nyerus]

Hi, nyerus.....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.

Thank you so much for asking! I would love to! (Apologies for the delay, and also for how long this is lol....)

TGCF

1.) Xie Lian: I could write forever about why I love him, but XL is just a really great character who subverted my expectations. He's gentle and compassionate, but also funny and snarky on the inside. His character arc is the classic hero's journey but told out of order. So we meet him when he's already wise and world-weary, then get to see what he was like before, and how he finishes his journey later on. He's extremely inspiring, to show that our choices and our actions are what make us, and ultimately no one can take those from us.

2.) Hua Cheng: This is no surprise! I also just adore HC for being a very intense character! He's completely devoted to XL and that zealotry is very unique in a character. He's 100%, not 50, not 75. While he has a lot of relateable aspects, this part of him is utterly fantastical, on the level only myth and fable can achieve--which tracks. After all, he isnt a Ghost King for nothing. In the story, he is the embodiment of the purest devotion, no strings attached.

3.) He Xuan: I actually like him for the same reasons as HC! He too is a walking fable, only instead of devotion, he represents vengence. (They're actually like foils of each other, which is quite neat.) I really adore his arc, and how murky his whole character is. It tells a cautionary tale of how sometimes, our worst enemy--the one who makes us most miserable--is often ourselves. SWD wronged him greviously, but HX's obsession with vengence ultimately prevented him from getting the peace and recompense he wanted in the end. Absolutely stellar storytelling.

4.) Mei Nianqing: While I often question his motives and methods, he is still a really good character. Caught between wanting to be a mentor and protector to XL, but still loving (platonically or romantically, that's up to you) JW. He's the only father figure in XL's life that actually took him seriously, even if he did have to come around to it. But ultimately, he was proud of who XL became even before he ascended. He was just terrified of XL drawing the attention of the one man he shouldn't--and did. However his belief in superstition and fear of Hong Hong-er also makes sense, even if it's sad. MNQ is also just a quirky and fun dude lol.

5.) Mu Qing: I really like how complicated and murky MQ's is in terms of his inner turmoil. I'm somewhat similar to him in the way he thinks, and it's real work not to make things worse for myself by expecting the worse. His background makes him naturally suspicious of... basically everyone, all the time, and it's honestly understandable. Ultimately, he does understand that you can't make assumptions about people's intentions by projecting your own insecurities onto them--which I think is something everyone can relate to. I really like his subtle journey of self-realization and self-forgiveness, and he ends up far better for it.

MDZS

1.) Lan Wangji: I love the fact that LWJ was just so ready to Night Hunt himself to death upon the loss of his beloved. As you can tell, I really like complicated characters who have extreme traits, haha! That being said, I just also really like his stoicism and reliability.

2.) Wei Wuxian: Naturally, it's hard not to love WWX! He decided "yeah maybe the ends do justify the means" and went for it. To us, he is the hero. To the regular people of the world? Whose ancestors were dug up and disturbed to be used by the Yiling Laozu? His blackened reputation is not without cause! (Like... JGY literally has done more positive and helpful things for regular people than Wangxian, but those metas already exist lol.) Once again, his gray morality is what makes him so damn good, and can be debated at length!

3.) Jiang Cheng: JC gets a bad rep, but oh boy he doesn't make things easy for himself at all. However if I was in his position, I probably would be much worse off. He lost EVERYTHING, and still trudged on because there were people who depended on him. His hatred of the Wens also makes sense in the context that... that's often how humans react to and process extreme trauma. We find something to blame and *waves at literally every major conflict since the dawn of time.* (His rumored torture of innocent people due to that is reprehensible, of course, but given that MDZS is a book about how rumors can make or break someone's life... we should take that line with a grain of skepticism, much like all other hearsay.) He's not typically the type of character I like, but I found him really interesting to read.

4.) Jiang Yanli: I really love JYL, who decided to be the emotional backbone of her family from the time she was a child. It was an undue and extremely heavy burden to bear, but she did all of it without complaint. That's strength. I think many elder siblings can relate to her having to step up and be the third parent, when the actual adults fail at it.

5.) Wen Qing: I really like her arc in the novel, where she makes some of the hardest decisions anyone will ever have to make, over and over and over again. I don't typically love very "rough" characters, but she has ever right to be that way (and it makes sense for her character, and isn't just a tacked-on character trait like hair color or eye color in a CC), and honestly I want to marry her very seriously.

SVSSS

1.) Luo Binghe: Probably the most misunderstood main character of all of MXTX's works. LBH is neither truly a crybaby nor is he a ruthless maniac. He's right in the middle, in the valley of misanthropy. And yet, he knows just how to use his charisma to get his way. Cunning and devious, intelligent and ruthless. Meanwhile, he craves love and intimacy--something he could only ever dream of.

2.) Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan): Extremely refreshing to see an transmigrator know how to handle transmigration almost flawlessly. (Me reading/watching other works with this trope and wanting to tear my hair out at the protags = me sympathizing on a personal level with SQQ.) This also proves to be SQQ's fatal flaw!! His knowledge of the novel is both a boon and a obstacle to him, and prevents him from understanding the other characters as people until he lets go of his pre-conceived notions. And of course, his snarky as heck inner dialogue is amazing.

3.) Liu Qingge: I don't actually even know why I love LQG as much as I do. He's just neat.

4.) Tianlang-Jun: Honestly same goes for TLJ. He's just great though, and I have a blast reading about him. He wanted to see the good in humanity, and ultimately comes around after writing them off.

5.) Yue Qingyuan: He's a fascinating character. Harmless on the outside, but a quagmire on the inside. His love for Shen Jiu was quite... problematic, in that he saught forgiveness from SJ, without actually ever taking the time to understand him or to make amends. Patronizing and judgemental, yet willing to let SJ get away with literally anything because of his own unresolved turmoil, etc etc. Fascinating.

[rizadyke]

bless us with Modern AU Rangi and Kyoshi as the best moms to Suki who support her and her gf Yue whole heartedly

Omg ok lets GO! ( @ijustwantasheetcake sent an ask about this au too so I’m just gonna tag you 😌💓)

Suki’s mom left her and her dad when she’s a baby and she’s raised by her dad on their island until he passes away when she’s 7

There’s like..obviously not a great foster care program on the island so she gets sent to the mainland and put in the home of Kyoshi and Rangi

Kyoshi is a lawyer (Jinpa is her long suffering assistant) and Rangi is a personal trainer

They weren’t sure about having a kid so they’re like ‘well let’s foster kids and we’ll make a difference in their lives and we probably won’t have them for very long anyway so we won’t get attached”

Until they meet Suki for the first time who was just orphaned and she’s from Kyoshi’s home island and looks so scared and Kyoshi makes a promise to herself that no harm will ever come to this little girl

(Rangi doesn’t hear her, but she makes the exact same promise)

Once Suki gets past being shy she is the most rambunctious, loud, confident kid out there. She wants Rangi to teach her weapons and Rangi is STRESSED like “maybe when you’re a little older!!” And Kyoshi is losing her shit because she KNOWS from Hei-Ran that Rangi wanted to play with swords as a kid too...this is her penance.

Suki’s first day of school she beats up this boy in her class for saying girls are weak....that boy was Sokka and he’s like wait you’re SO cool and immediately becomes her biggest fan

(The first time Suki went over to Sokka’s house Hakoda opened the door and she looked him in the eyes and went “Your son needs to learn girls are smarter and tougher than boys sometimes” and little bby Katara is behind him and just goes YEAH!!)

Kyoshi and Rangi are so happy their baby made a friend but Sokka and Suki are the most chaotic duo of all time they literally never know what these children are going to get up to

After about a year of having her live with them they sit her down and Suki gets scared they’re leaving too but they’re like omg no we want to adopt you!! And they ALL cry and go and get ice cream and Suki looks up at her new moms and she just thinks about how in this moment she’s the happiest she’s ever been in her life

(Suki calls Kyoshi mama and Rangi mom and they both sob the first time she calls them that)

Kelsang and Hei-ran absolutely LOVE their granddaughter and tell her so many embarrassing stories about her moms when they were younger

Her Aunt Kirima, Uncle Wong, and Uncle Lek (Lao Ge doesn’t rly have a title but she loves him too) are always popping in and teaching her new things like how to hot wire a car and fun stuff like that

Her Uncle Wong gives her a new Rolex ‘for her birthday’ and Kyoshi is like “it’s not her birthday...also did you steal this”

“Mom look Aunt Kirima taught me a new thing to say when I see a police officer!!” “ok honey what is it” “Fuck pigs!” “SUKI NO-"

(They all do be hating cops but Rangi is NOT about to let her ten year old get arrested no ma’am)

Her moms encourage her to do what she’s passionate about so Suki starts a couple different martial arts pretty soon after she moves in with them and by middle school she’s kicking ass and taking home trophies

(Kyoshi’s like “just have fun don’t worry about winning the tournament!!” And Rangi is like “You’re gonna win because you’re the best athlete here duh also that girl favors her right leg take that into account when you fight her but also yes have fun!!”)

She’s also in debate club and all advanced classes and her moms are SO proud of her they can’t believe their kid is just. The MOST talented

Every year on the anniversary of her dad’s death Suki gets really sad and withdrawn and Kyoshi and her do a little trip just for them back to their home island

They lay on the beach and look at the stars and Suki tells Kyoshi all the stories of the constellations (Kyoshi knows them all but she could listen to her daughter talk for hours she loves her so much)

Kyoshi tells her how she wishes she could’ve know her dad, but she’s forever thankful to him for bringing her favorite person into the world

“I’m your favorite person? before mom?” “Yes but don’t tell her because she’ll make me stand in horse stance for hours and we both know it”

She’s joking though she loves both her girls to the moon and back

When she turns 12 Kyoshi FINALLY gives into Suki’s begging and decides to teach her to fight using the fans (literally ever since Suki moved in she would see them and just go *heart eyes* but Kyoshi wanted her to wait because she was worried she’d get hurt)

(She finds out she had no reason to worry because Suki is literally a natural)

Rangi spars with her in their basement they converted into a home gym (because all three of them are exercise freaks lowkey) and Suki never wins but Rangi tells her after every match how much she’s improved and what she can work on

On the five year anniversary of Suki getting adopted her moms throw her a party and invite all of her friends (her absolute best friends, however, are Sokka, and recently, Ty Lee. They’re the kids in middle school who are the smartest in class and win every single game in gym but are also absolutely feral and make mincraft jokes and start food fights)

Suki cries at the party, surrounded by all these people she loves, because she’s so thankful she has all of them in her life

She cries even more when she opens her gift from her moms. Inside are two beautiful new golden fans, just for her.

[chaoslynx]

Idk if you do YueSing, but could you do “Please don’t cry.” pls if you do

“Yue?” Sing asks softly.

They’ve been in the mansion for a while, just ... well, enjoying each other’s company, if Yut-Lung is being honest with himself.

But now Sing is pulling out that voice, and Yut-Lung doesn’t know what to do about it.

Yut-Lung clears his throat. “Yes?” he asks.

“Why did so many people have to die?”

Freezing up, Yut-Lung sucks in a breath. This is a difficult question under normal circumstances, and it’s made worse by the fact that Yut-Lung knows which people Sing means.

And knows that every single one of those deaths is, at least in part, Yut-Lung’s fault.

“I—I’m sorry—” Yut-Lung stammers.

“Sometimes I do blame you,” Sing whispers. “I don’t hate you, but ... Sometimes I get so angry.”

Not sure how to respond, Yut-Lung just wrings his hands in his lap. Sing sits across from him in an overly plush chair, Yut-Lung sprawled out on the couch.

Sing sniffles. Oh no. No, this can’t be happening. Only Yut-Lung is allowed to cry in his mansion.

“But right now?” Sing continues. “Right now I’m just sad.”

“Please don’t cry,” Yut-Lung says quickly. “I don’t ... I don’t know what to do if you cry.”

“You don’t have to do anything, Yue. I just ... Sometimes you just need to cry. You get it, right? I’ve seen you cry a million times.”

But it’s different. Yut-Lung has always been pathetic like that. Sing is supposed to be the strong one between the two of them.

“Sing ...” he starts. “What, um—what do you need right now?”

Sing shakes his head. “I don’t know. I never know anymore.”

“Can I ... I mean, would you like me to comfort you ... physically?” Yut-Lung winces. “I mean—not like—”

“No, I get it, Yue,” Sing says softly. “And ... yeah. Can you just hug me?”

Yut-Lung nods, and crosses the space between them. Sing sobs, standing up to meet him. A little stiff, very awkward, Yut-Lung wraps his arms around Sing’s shoulders.

“I wish we had met under different circumstances,” Sing whispers, burying his face into Yut-Lung’s shoulder. “Like—normal kids at a high school or something. People who could be together, without being ... like us.”

Yut-Lung blinks. He’s never even considered something like that. His wishful thinking always takes different forms. His mother never dying, or his father still taking care of him. His brothers never existing. He’s never thought about ... being normal.

But maybe he wants to, kind of.

“It’s not too late,” he whispers.

“What?” Sing asks, startled.

“I can make it happen. We can—It’ll be easy to fake a background, and we can go to school. We’ll always be ... us, but maybe we can be ourselves in a different world.”

Sing nods against Yut-Lung. “If you really think we can do it ... I think I’d like to try. But I’ll still be mad at you.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to forgive me.”

Sing is silent for a bit, long enough that Yut-Lung thinks the conversation is over. He wonders if he should pull away or not.

But eventually, Sing says, “I might. Forgive you, I mean. ... Eventually.”

Yut-Lung sucks in a breath. “I’d like that,” he whispers. “If you could.”

“Maybe,” Sing responds. “Maybe.”

Prompt list!

[spockandawe]

For the ships, Liujiu, Bingjiu or YueJiu ?

Oh man, Shen Jiuuuuuuu

Okay, so my answers for these are going to share some themes, so I’ll try to keep it a bit brief instead of repeating myself x3. Let’s see if I can keep a handle on this without it getting away from me, haha

Liujiu:

Downsides:

So, my biggest logistical struggle with these two is... making it happen. They’re both pretty aloof and standoffish people, and they take a strong dislike to each other early on. I love me some good hatesex, which matters a lot for the bingjiu, but with liu qingge and shen jiu...... getting them to tolerate each other for long enough for hatesex is hard. 

And also, even though I love hatesex, for some reason I get really sad in here because they’re both going to take so much damage. Which is a common feature of hatesex? And I’m not opposed to hatesex for either of these men? But together... I don’t know, there’s something about how fragile Shen Jiu is and how bad at people Liu Qingge is, and the way they both amplify each other. I don’t know why this ship in particular makes me so anxious, but they definitely do, haha

Upsides: 

Such...... hateful............... hatesex.........................

Like, it hurts me to think about how much they’ll hurt each other, but think about how much they’ll hurt each other! The potential is EXQUISITE. Shen Jiu has a sharp tongue, he’s quick on his feet, and he’s very good at finding cruel, cutting things to say. Liu Qingge is willing to give you his everything, but only if you’re nice to him first, which Shen Jiu is absolutely not willing to be. And Shen Jiu is so proud, and so horribly brittle. He takes damage from someone trying to be nice to him, he’ll react so badly to someone seeing him that vulnerable and trying to be mean.

I don’t know, it’s one of those ships where I instinctively Crave it, but I would have so much trouble figuring out a scenario where I was both satisfied where why they would do it (fuck or die is the easiest scenario, but tbh, i have a real hard time justifying that, even if i enjoy it), and I was confident I wouldn’t exit the scenario just... super super sad. It’s something I would idly like to write, but I’d have to be in a VERY particular headspace :P

Bingjiu:

Downsides:

Okay, now, to be clear-- I do like some well-executed noncon. It can do LOVELY things with character and emotion and power dynamics. And we don’t get much original Binghe on page to draw characterization from, but I’m going to go ahead and assume that similar to how he was hungry for Shen Qingqiu in canon, he was also hungry for something from Shen Jiu. But in a situation like this where one party is clearly and persistently wanting, and the other party is clearly and consistently rejecting, I find straightforward noncon more often... boring.

Upsides:

So what we’re left with is messy, deceptive dubious consent and messy, manipulative hatesex. Which I love. These are some of my favorite favorite kinds of unhealthy ship dynamics, and I live for it. I’ve read some nice liujiu before, and I’ve read some nice bingjiu, and they were both well-executed, but the bingjiu definitely stuck with me more. The liujiu? Even if it was hateful, it tended to be honest, and like........... if I have the option to bring lies and coercion into the situation, why would I say no?

I feel like I’m regularly being introduced to new variants on this ship, but I don’t want to just rehash existing fics that I liked. But there’s the idea of transmigration within canon, where Bingge enters a younger version of himself (or there’s one where older Bingge and Shen Jiu enter swapped bodies for their younger selves). There’s Binghe coming back from the abyss and somehow (angrily, sexily, messily) working things out with Shen Jiu. Or there’s Binghe leaning on his dream abilities and flat-out lying/steering to Shen Jiu to get him into bed. Either way, it’s more complicated that just taking. There’s a psychological/emotional component to the maneuvering that makes it all deliciously interesting to me.

Ah, here’s an angle I think I missed before. With Shen Jiu’s past in the Qiu household, I find a straight-up forcing to be... uninteresting. Shen Jiu himself has so much baggage that unless a fic or whatever is focused on aftermath, I’m very *shrug* about the dynamic, I think canon did plenty well for itself without even fully Going There. For a dynamic as poisonous as this one, I’d much rather see Shen Jiu having all his walls and boundaries and defenses, and being coaxed out into the open (whether he knows what’s waiting for him or not) rather than having his walls just blasted down

(and if you can avoid totally taking out Shen Jiu, it’s so easy to add a mutually assured destruction element to this dynamic, which is ALWAYS a favorite of mine)

(also, Binghe is like the one person in the universe with the power to unlock the secret that Shen Jiu used to hide in Qiu Haitang’s room for safety and comfort, and just....... *grabby hands*)

Qijiu:

Downsides:

None. None? I adore this so much it kills me.

Wait no hold on, Yue Qingyuan cannot fucking communicate. That’s the one downside.

Upsides:

Oh my goddddd, THESE TWO! THEY MAKE ME FUCKING BAWL! They care about each other so, so, so, so much, and they come so close to breaking free of their childhood together, and then it all barely falls apart, and it probably wouldn’t have fallen apart if they didn’t each care so fucking much, and I want to scream.

There’s something about a ship. Where one party is a complete unrepentant asshole who loves one (1) person in the entire universe, and would give them the WORLD, and cares exactly 0% about anyone else... It kills me every time. Especially in the flashbacks, okay. It’s like hua cheng, only Shen Jiu is also still absolutely vicious with Yue Qi, but! Yue Qi cares not at all, he just adores Shen Jiu right back and doesn’t even register the meanness. He’ll maybe, maybe tell Shen Jiu to play nicer with the other kids, and everyone involves knows that he will do nothing to enforce that.

The Qiu household thing... breaks my goddamn heart, I swear. Yue Qi promising to come back for Shen JIu. Shen Jiu waiting and enduring and finally thinking that Yue Qi must have died, or he would have definitely come back. Their reunion, where Shen Jiu is like ‘oh.... I’m an intrinsically terrible person’ because he realizes he would prefer that Yue Qi was dead rather than knowing Qi-ge abandoned him. Yue Qingyuan’s emotional confession in canon that he didn’t abandon Xiao Jiu, he never wanted to abandon him, he trained too hard and too fast and almost destroyed his body and his teacher locked him in the caves for a year. 

The downside is that they love each other so much they can’t deal with the idea that Yue Qingyuan abandoned Shen Jiu! They can’t deal with it to such an extent that they can’t even come close to resolving the misunderstanding! The downside is that Shen Jiu loves Yue Qingyuan enough that he pushes him away, just for a chance that he can save him from Bingge, and that Yue Qingyuan loves Shen Jiu enough that he came back for him anyways, knowing that he was walking into certain death, whether it was for the chance that Bingge would take some mercy on Shen Jiu, or because he couldn’t bear the idea of abandoning Shen Jiu again! 

The downside is that Shen Jiu quietly dies, Shen Yuan quietly slips into his body, and that Yue Qingyuan goes on loving Shen Jiu without ever realizing he’s already gone.

[solatude]

ATLA Unpopular Opinions

I’ve had some thoughts about various aspects in Avatar: The Last Airbender. So, in order of least to most controversial, here we go:

Sokka looks better with his hair up. Sokka’s wolf tail is one of the more unique hairstyles in the show, at least for the guys. He looks so basic with his hair down. The wolf tail adds to his personality, his dramaticness, and humor. How can a water tribe warrior fight with hair in his face? Please also refer to his topknot in Book Three.

Sokka didn’t have as much pull as fans think he does. Pull, in this context, means to attract someone romantically/sexually. First of all, Toph is a child, so I’m not counting her because a 12 year-old crushing on a 15 year-old should be nothing more than that---a crush. Yue and Suki pulled him first, as he fell for them before they fell for him. Suki could care less for the sexist guy who insulted her on her own island; but teaching him the ways of the Kyoshi warriors, plus a kiss on the cheek had him blushing---HARD! He thankfully changed his mindset after that. Yue, while she barely had a choice, had accepted her role as princess and was prepared to dedicate her life to the values of her tribe in an arranged marriage. The amount of times she ran away from Sokka was both tragic and hilarious. But that only made Sokka want her more, she never chased him. To be honest though, he was probably the first guy who treated her normally, despite her status. I think she mainly wanted a friend, but was surprised to find a potential lover in Sokka. Plus he made her laugh. Ty Lee thought he was cute, but Ty Lee thinks everything is cute. That is all. If you wanna talk about pull, Aang had Zuko risking his life chasing him for three seasons (I’m joking, don’t think too deeply about that).

Azula and Katara are almost equal in power. I get that Azula is a firebending prodigy, but sometimes her skills are overestimated by fans and she’s made to seem as though she can overpower everyone. It makes perfect sense that she lost to Katara in almost every fight. Before meeting her, she’s only ever fought nonbenders, firebenders, and earthbenders. She never had experience fighting a trained waterbender, so her losing to Katara shows that even she has her limitations. Whenever she did win a fight against her, it was because she got help from her friends, brother, or subjects. Katara never hesitated to fight her, and being 14 years-old herself, allowed for an even exchange of combat. Let’s be honest, what bender would go up against Azula fearlessly except the one who’s element puts out fires?

Ursa was not a bad mother. Ursa was a victim of an abusive, arranged marriage. For context, Fire Lord Azulon wanted Ozai to marry Ursa because she was the granddaughter of Avatar Roku, and he felt that they would produce powerful heirs to the royal family. Ursa was forced to leave her village, family, and fiance behind for this marriage; because who would dare turn down the request of a Fire Lord? Ursa never really loved Ozai, but he never cared. He just wanted to increase his status and power. Ursa is often criticized for giving Zuko attention over Azula, while scolding Azula and not showing her any love. However, Azula was praised by Ozai, and as a result showed more of an obedience towards him. Ozai showed a great disdain for Zuko. Ursa was simply doing her best to show Zuko how much he mattered. He was living in his sister’s shadow, while being neglected by his father. I also really feel for Azula, because she was only valued for her firebending skills, and she probably had no emotional outlet that she trusted to help guide her. However, I do think Azula was too far along for her mother to really help her. Ursa encouraged Zuko to play with Azula; she genuinely wanted her children to get along like any other parent. I just don’t think there was anything she could say or do to encourage Azula to be less destructive and show remorse for her actions. She should have never called Azula a monster, but she was a woman filled with fear. She feared her abusive husband and the repercussions of speaking out against him, she feared the destructive tendencies of her daughter and the ways she hurt other people without caring for how they felt, and she feared for Zuko’s life for not living up to the impossible ideals of the royal family. Ursa was not a perfect mother, but she tried given the little power she had. Also, to be fair, we only see Ursa’s life from Zuko’s perspective in the show. Azula probably had many memories with Ursa but she most likely blocked them out to hold space for firebending forms and her father’s approval; one of which she never really secured.

Bloodbending is overrated and unnecessary. Some fans claim that Katara should have had a more positive reaction to becoming a bloodbender. However, it was never in her character to be so controlling, especially against another person’s will. Bloodbending is also not as useful as it’s made to seem. Since one can only bloodbend on a full moon, you would have to wait an entire month to even utilize the skill. That’s extremely inconvenient and because you have to wait until nighttime, it’s even less practical. How often does Team Avatar fight during the night compared to the day? They would be sleeping if anything. Also, when your team consists of an agile airbender, a master waterbender, a powerful earthbender, and a weapons strategist, plus Appa and Momo; why would anyone need to bloodbend? Most of the Gaang’s enemies never required that level of power in order to be defeated. Bloodbending is also VERY niche. If this is allowed, should bonebending be allowed since there are minerals in bones? Should soundbending be allowed since sound is produced from vibrations? I admit it’s a really cool ability, but it’s not that important in the grand scheme of things. Also, speaking of Katara...

Katara gets too much hate. I’m not sure if it’s the surge of new fans since the Netflix debut or the repressed thoughts of old fans but lately Katara’s character has been mercilessly criticized. It’s been said that she brings up her mother too often, and that she’s overly emotional and selfish. First of all, Katara was eight years-old (and Sokka nine) when her mother was murdered. During the run of the show, only six years have passed since then, as she’s 14 when she finds Aang. She lives with survivor’s guilt due to her mother lying about who the last waterbender was so that Katara wouldn’t be taken prisoner. Unfortunately, the firebender soldier Yon Rah wasn’t taking prisoners that day, implying that he was going to murder her. Katara mentions her mother only a handful of times, usually to relate to another character who lost someone close to them in an effort to empathize (Aang, Haru, Jet, Zuko). People forget that she saw her mother’s dead body after running to get help. It was definitely wrong for Katara to tell Sokka that he didn’t love their mother the way she did in the Southern Raiders episode, and she definitely should have apologized. But, she was right. Sokka was shown to be closer to his father. She was in extreme emotional pain and instead of being comforted, she was criticized by Aang and Sokka for wanting revenge. How many times has Katara sacrificed something for the sake of others? She barely had a childhood considering she took on a maternal role in her tribe after her mother’s death. She had to deal with Sokka’s sexist comments, she had to suppress her talent for waterbending, and she felt isolated and alone because the one parent that was alive left to fight in the war. When someone needed encouragement, Katara was always there to encourage them. When someone needed help, she never hesitated to assist them. She often put herself in harm’s way if it meant someone else didn’t get hurt. For a 14 year-old girl in a war torn world, she is immensely brave. How many times has Zuko gone on and on about his honor, or lashed out at his Uncle for a seemingly small reason? How many times has Sokka talked about meat? Or Azula and her speeches about controlling and manipulating people? Toph and her rebelliousness? Even Aang’s laid back attitude turned into carelessness every now and then. Every character has a crutch that they attach themselves to, but Katara isn’t given the grace that other characters have been given. Yes, Aang lost his entire nation, and Katara would never know what that felt like. However, Aang wouldn’t know how Katara felt either. Aang was in the presence of children his age and was able to travel around the world to make friends (i.e. Bumi from the Earth Kingdom and Kuzon from the Fire Nation). He was taught to be less detached, so his idea of family is very different from Katara’s. He never witnessed the dead bodies of his people firsthand, though he did see Gyatso’s skeleton later on. Katara grew up in a world ruined by war. She had little to no friends, and the one person she was closest to left her life very early. Her tribe was VERY small and I doubt she had a lot of people to talk to. She had never left the Southern Water Tribe before, so it’s very likely that she was going to stay there her entire life had she not met Aang. She’s been accused of not allowing Sokka to feel sad about their mother, but why should she? It’s not Katara’s job to burden the weight of Sokka’s emotions, especially about their mother. She cannot force Sokka to open up about his feelings, that is something he must do at his own free will. Sokka hides his pain behind his masculinity. He’s protective because he feels guilty about not being able to do anything to help his mother. He doesn’t even remember what she looks like, he could only picture Katara’s face in her place. He felt even worse when his father left and he, understandably, couldn’t go with him. Sokka is not upfront about how he feels, but Katara should not be blamed for that. Overall it may be said that Katara was a flawed character that has recently been more scrutinized for her flaws than acknowledged for her strengths. We can do both, but there’s been an imbalance. She successfully revolted to free Haru’s father as well as other prisoners of the Fire Nation. She guided her friends out of the Si Wong desert despite the obstacles that stood in their way. She healed Aang and Zuko when shot by lightning, ultimately saving their lives and the lives of many other people who have been physically hurt by someone. She even washed Sokka’s underwear and sewed his pants. We can cut the girl some slack if she wants to talk about her mother, can’t we? She’s the glue that holds everyone together. Katara’s emotions make her a stronger fighter. Her trauma has shaped her into someone determined to master waterbending and has allowed her to be more empathetic to those around her. But she shouldn’t have had to go through all of that. She was forced to mature faster in order to survive. Katara can sometimes be arrogant, misguided, oblivious, and doubtful, yes. But she is also resilient, brave, selfless, and generous. That is the duality of her character. She is NOT to be disrespected. After all, as she said to Sokka in The Painted Lady, “I will never, ever turn my back on people who need me!”. And she hasn’t.

Iroh should be banned from the Earth Kingdom. It’s not an unpopular opinion that Uncle Iroh is a war criminal, but I just don’t think he should be allowed anywhere near the Earth Kingdom; either temporarily or permanently. Yes he played an instrumental role in Zuko’s redemption, with tea in his left hand and wisdom in his right. However, that does not excuse his invasion of Ba Sing Se. He laid siege to the impenetrable city for 600 days. Surely hundreds, maybe thousands of innocent people died under his commands. He broke the lower ring, home of the poorest members of the Earth Kingdom. The only reason he stopped was because his son, Lu Ten, died in battle; not aware that many citizens also died as a result of his actions. How many children’s lives has his army taken away? How many sons and daughters, fathers and mothers, aunts, uncles, and grandparents have died under his siege? Not only does he get to establish a business and earn money, he is elevated to the upper ring of the city; meanwhile an entire population can barely afford food and stable jobs. I understand that is was for plot purposes, but It’s a slap in the face to allow him to thrive in the city after Aang defeated Ozai. His wanted poster should be everywhere, not just for supposedly betraying the Fire Nation, but also for crimes against the Earth Kingdom. The very least he could do was shut down his tea shop and hand the building over to a family who may need it, and establish a tea shop in the Fire Nation. I’m not saying Iroh couldn’t be redeemed for his war crimes, but it definitely would take more than what was seen in the show for him to be forgiven for them.

Anyways, let me know what you think. This took an ungodly amount of time to write.

[happybinghe]

Shen Jiu Character Analysis:

The Misunderstandings Regarding Shen Jiu and Why I Feel Sorry for Him

Shen Jiu is a very misunderstood character, and although he may not be all smiles and sunshine, his attitude is very realistic considering all that he's been through. While I don't approve of his behavior towards Bingge, when you think about it, you can understand that he's applying the way he was treated by Qiu Jianluo who always beat him up, to Luo Bingge who, backed up by his protagonist halo, somehow manages to get things right despite Shen Jiu's attempts to sabotage his efforts. To him, Bingge's strength and spiritual prowess which seems to come easy to him, is something Shen Jiu struggled to achieve while Binghe, no matter what Shen Jiu tries to do, always succeeds in the end.

Shen Jiu has subtle anger buried in deep, but treats it apathetically. The world has done so much to him, and it seems no one is ever there to help, still constantly blaming him on everything instead.

In the extra chapters of Airplane's Adventures, Shang Qinghua/Airplane accompanies Shen Jiu and Liu Qingge on a mission. After Shen Jiu and Liu Qingge fought with each other again, where Liu Qingge believed Shen Jiu was trying to harm him instead of the demons, Liu Qingge left. Airplane, who is the writer of the original novel and creator of the characters, who knows about his characters more than anyone, thinks to himself, as written in the novel:

Ah right, he had gone to all the trouble to do a good thing, but the result didn’t meet expectations. If it didn’t meet expectations just go out and tell Liu Qingge, “I only wanted to help you out just then”, but he wasn’t willing to do it. If you’re not willing, just let me help you explain, but he couldn’t tear down his face━maybe he was embarrassed. This person really was full of twists and turns, always tormenting himself.

As we can see, Airplane knows Shen Jiu originally meant well and actually helped Liu Qingge when he was being attacked by a demon from behind, but no one would know that as the story is filtered in a way to show Shen Jiu being purely scum. There's a lot hidden under the surface, but the only way we get to see true intentions is when we see the story from Airplane's point of view, since he wrote it and knows how he intended for these characters to be.

Airplane then proceeds to advise Shen Jiu, telling him:

“If, in the future, you see someone going into qi deviation, do not panic, and do not rashly go up thinking you can save them. You must stay calm and go call for help, do not make a move yourself. Or else, you will definitely be more of a hindrance than a help, poke a big hole in the basket, and abandon yourself to despair from then on, unable to free yourself for the rest of your life. Not even jumping into the Yellow River could wash you clean!”

So originally, Airplane wrote Shen Jiu with him having in mind believing himself that he could help Liu Qingge when he had a qi deviation, not having any intention of killing him. But him being written as the villain clearly gives Shen Jiu a hand that can only destroy, even if that wasn't his intention. Shen Jiu, as well as Luo Bingge, are prisoners to the system and to a force stronger than them in which no matter what they want or intend, there are simply things they have no control over, no matter how much deep down they wish they did. I'll keep that topic for a different post.

Shen Jiu is too prideful to state his good intentions. Since they believe him to be scum no matter what he does, then let them. He doesn't care what anyone thinks, even if he doesn't want to harm them, if they believe he does, then he doesn't care enough to change their opinion about him. Shen Jiu is a self-hating person. And he won't defend himself if someone accuses him of something. The sort of attitude he has will hide his good intentions. He's the type of person to carry himself with a cold aura and look on his face, do good in secret, and never let anyone know about it.

However, sometimes when you're constantly accused of anything and everything, and to people you're considered a scummy person, then at some point, you may just throw everything to the wind, with the thought of if that's what they think, then so be it. You want me to be the villain, I'll be the villain. And that's possibly where throwing his frustration comes, towards Bingge, the boy who can clearly bear everything and not complain about it, in his perspective. Everything has led up to that, originally he had good intentions, but now, he simply doesn't care.

When he is later faced with so many accusations at the same time, in his mind, no matter what he says, it simply won't help. The people will simply only hear their own voices and believe what they want to believe.

I believe that despite if Shen Jiu has good intentions, it's covered up by the fact that he's written as a villain, with details of his past and personal view originally unknown and covered up considering Airplane Bro left out alot in his original drafts and didn't include alot of details concerning Shen Jiu's life since he wanted to mainly write what his fans wanted even if it originally wasn't what he had planned. So just as Luo Bingge has a protagonist halo that will basically bend the story to protect him from death and help him to succeed, Shen Jiu has a villain halo that no matter what good he does, in the eyes of others, he will seem guilty no matter what he does to try and fix things. Also, think about Liu Qingge and how he treats his disciples. He barely shows up, Bai Zhan Peak is always destroying things and fighting everyone, including Luo Bingge. But the story doesn't focus on that and it's considered a normal occurence, because it's filtered in a way where even if the characters all treat their disciples roughly for example, Shen Jiu is the targeted and chosen villain, so every little thing he does will become emphasized and make it seem like he's the worst person in the world, even if everyone else does the same or worse. There are a lot of people with bad attitudes, but they're not called a villain. Because there's no focus on the cruelty of others, only focusing on Shen Jiu's actions and emphasizing them, no matter how many actual villains there really are, it won't seem as terrible as Shen Jiu because he's put in the spotlight, on stage, where everyone points out and focuses solely on his flaws.

When someone is treated like a villain and constantly hated without any care, kindness, or love ever being directed towards them, it's only natural for them to become a cold, distant, and self-loathing person, shutting themselves out from the world, as Shen Jiu originally did when he was rarely at the peak as he never really felt welcomed there by anyone. No one ever shows him any genuine care, other than Yue Qingyuan, but Shen Jiu feels betrayed by him for leaving him and never coming back to rescue him when they were young, never knowing the truth of what really happened even up to his death, which I think is really sad and tragic. Also, Yue Qingyuan is a great person and all, but it kind of bothers me that he still calls him Xiao Jiu even though it bothers Shen Jiu, who prefers the name Shen Qingqiu since the other name brings back memories of a life he would really love to forget and not think of. It's like constantly reminding your best friend of their ex who they really want nothing to do with anymore. He wants to fix what happened but he's really constantly struggling to. Anyway, I just feel that it's a bit disrespectful to call someone something they don't like and they're trying to forget. (I'm using the name Shen Jiu here so you don't get confused) Shen Jiu needs for others to show their good intentions before he does. So far he hasn't seen that from people, and so he believes that everyone is intentionally against him and doesn't like him. Like when he was fighting with Liu Qingge, he later mentioned to Yue Qingyuan and asked him why Liu Qingge doesn't show him kindness and mercy first, and why does he always have to be the one to do so. Shen Jiu is like a cat, if you want him to approach you kindly, you need to approach him kindly first, even if it takes a while.

According to a psychology fact I read, it takes 7 positive compliments to make up for 1 negative comment. So if he is constantly faced with negativity and barely anything positive, how is he supposed to function properly without bitterness taking over him? He's only human. He too has feelings. The negativity targeted towards him outweighs the positive. Watching Shen Jiu's actions, he's generally trying to find a place for himself to belong, and no one ever accepts him. All of that turns into subtle and low-key hatred and anger. It hurts deep down to be hated by everyone and not having anyone you can even trust. Of the very few who were nice to him was Qiu Haitang, sister to her abusive brother who always beat up Shen Jiu, without her ever knowing. He was going to marry her, but it's pretty normal that someone written as a villain isn't allowed to be happy, and so life happens. He's always had a difficult life, constantly hated, never loved, being rejected and seemingly betrayed. He's never fit in anywhere, and I see him to be a very lonely person who wants somewhere to belong and has a human need to be loved, even if he'd never admit it.

[visit-ba-sing-se]

My dreams are broken (but my promises I keep)

“I see so much pain, cruelty and grief. I see so many lives tossed way. And there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing but watch. And shine my light on them, hoping that they feel I am there.” My humble contribution to the last day of @yuekiweek, a fic for the prompt moon in which Yue and Suki talk a lot and feel less lonely afterwards.

Even the sky was empty tonight. Suki was sitting on the hard floor of her cell, looking up to the small window.  She had been trying to meditate, but the only thing she had archived so far was feeling even worse than before.  “You know, I like it better when I can see you,“ she said into the heavy silence, still staring upward. “It makes me feel a bit less alone. And I am very, very lonely right now.“ 

Suki shook her head. Probably this was it. She was finally going insane. Talking to the moon. Or, more likely, herself. She did not even know which option was worse. She had been trying so hard for so long to keep herself together. She had forced herself to train every day since she knew that it would help her focus, but it had gotten harder and harder to tell what exactly she was training for. In the beginning, of course she had though about breaking out a lot. Made plan after plan, went through possibility after possibility in her head. Only to then damn each of them inoperable. It was not that she minded a risk, but the longer her imprisonment here lasted, the clearer it had become to her that the only way out would be a way into death. And she was not ready to die. Not yet. And then there was this small part of her that still hoped her friends would somehow come and help her break out from here. It was unrealistic, but she had to hold onto it. Even though that got harder with every passing day. Not because she was doubting them, but they did not even know she was here. Also, they probably had way bigger problems themselves. If they were even still alive. Suki had heard that Ba Sing Se had fallen to the fire nation. All the guards had been drunk that day from celebrating. Even the warden had displayed something that could have been called “a good mood.“ And there had been even worse rumors. Normally, Suki was quite good at shutting them out of her conscious. But now, in this strange moonless night, they started creeping back in with a force that they had never had before. “You know, it gets lonely at the sky as well sometimes.“  Suki jumped up instantly, moving into a fighting stance without any conscious thought. She did not even know who she had been expecting to see in front her, but all expectations would have been proven wrong anyway. In front of her stood the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. Only that she was not standing there but…hovering slightly above the floorAnd she seemed to be glowing. Suki had never seen a spirit before, but she was convinced that either she was doing so now, or had started having visions. Could it be…“Yue?“

“It is a pleasure to finally meet you Suki.“ The girl, if you could even call her a girl given the fact that she was a spirit, smiled. “I had wondered if you would recognize me.“ ”Oh, Sokka told me about you. I mean, he told me about a princess from the north who he was supposed to protect. But who gave up her life as human to save her people. And became the moon spirit.“ Suki knew that she was talking too fast, and that she definitely was not saying the right things. Not only was this very unusual for her, she also had no idea how to stop. “And the sky was empty tonight. So I figured that if I have a visitor who is very obviously a spirit due to floating and and shining in a white light, it should be you,“ she therefore continued, and then quickly added: “And I am very happy to meet you too. I just wasn’t aware you could-….“ “Leave the sky?“ Luckily,  Yue was still smiling. In order to avoid saying anything that could change that, Suki simply nodded. “I did not know either, but it seems that during new moon, I can.“ She shrugged. “I am still learning a lot about my role, but also my abilities. It is not like anyone or anything prepares you for this.“ Her face changed as she continued, now with a certain sadness in her eyes and voice. “But I guess that is true for the most of us. No one prepared Aang to be the Avatar and fight the firelord either, but he is doing it as well.”  Despite her serious words, Suki felt something warm growing in her chest. She told herself to not give into it to quickly, but just could not help it. “He is? So he Is alive?“, she blurted out, both afraid of and desperately needing the answer „I heard that Ba Sing Se was taken. And the rumor that Aang…“ Suki could not get herself to finish the sentence. She could not say that, not even in theory. But Yue did not need to hear the words to know what she meant anyway. “You are right that Ba Sag Se fell, but Aang is alive, and so is the rest.“ A small hint of her pretty smile returned. “And Appa is with them again, not least thanks to you.“ “Good. That is very….very good.“ Suki knew that good was a way to weak word to describe what she felt. It was as if a bit of the weight on her lungs had finally been lifted, so much that she could breath again. Of course it was not gone. The war was still there. She and her girls were still in prison. But now, there also was hope again. And the knowledge that it had not been all for nothing. “You know that because you are watching them from above, right?, she asked, with small part of her mind still skeptical. What if Yue was just saying this to make her feel better? “Yes. I can see everything my light reaches.“  “Wow. For someone who spends her day seeing walls and has to trust whatever gossip the guards exchange for news, that sound like a dream. “Yue took a while to respond, long enough to make Suki regret her words. “Yes, it is. In some way.“ She finally said. “In another, it is a curse.“ “A curse?“ “Yes.“ There was such pain in Yue`s eyes as she spoke that Suki wished she could cross the distance between them and embrace her. But she just stood there and listened as Yue continued: “It is not like there are only nice things to see right now. I do not think I have to tell you what the fire nation brought upon this world, you have seen plenty examples yourself.“ Of course Suki knew what she was talking about. A picture of her own home came to her mind. How it had looked after prince Zuko of the fire nation had paid it a visit. “I see villages burning in the night. I see lines of smoke I see mothers crying over their children and children begging their parents to wake up, not yet understanding that they won’t ever do that again. I see so much pain, cruelty and grief. I see so many lives tossed way. And there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing but watch. And shine my light on them, hoping that they feel I am there with them.“ Something else lit up in Yue`s eyes. Determination. Suki could not help but admire her. “Because that is what I owe them, and that is what I do. I see. I remember. I make sure no one dies alone, and no one is forgotten.“ And no one would forgotten. Suki had wondered about when the whole world would have forgotten about her here in this prison more than she ever would want to admit, but now she knew the answer. And she had gotten it without even asking. “Of course, I then also just see ordinary people sing ordinary things and all their tiny joys. And most of the time, I am happy for them. But sometimes…sometimes I just wish I was one of the again.“ Yue looked down onto her hands. It seemed like she wanted to say something else, but wasn’t sure if she should. Suki decide to take a shot in the dark and asked:  “What do you miss the most? About being human I mean?“ Yue looked up at her again, and from her face and the speed of her reply Suki could tell that she had asked the right question. “Well. My family of course. And my best friend. And eating my mother seaweed soup.“ She chuckled, a sound that reminded Suki of the flowing rivers in spring at home. “And many more of those tiny things that you just take for granted as long as your have them.“ Yue looked down at her hands again. “And then, I also miss the things I never had in first place. The things that I could have done, but didn’t.“ She sighed. “I kind of regret that I always did what I was supposed to do. I know it sounds strange, but I tried so hard to be a good princess for my tribe. I studied, I followed protocol, I even was going to marry a man I did not love. Of course, I did those things because I wanted to do them. I love my tribe. But I just never saw the other side of it all. That was least until Aang, Katara and Sokka arrived” . For a moment, Yue seemed to be lost in her memories, and Suki waited patiently for her to continue. “Katara had so much strength and righteous anger, and she  just challenged everyone and everything with no hesitation. She impressed me by a lot. And Sokka was just…Sokka. He funny and smart and just..cared about me. As person. Not as a princess. I enjoyed spending time with him a lot, and it left some impact on me. Even though he seemed to be completely blind for social conventions or protocol. Or rather especially because go that.“ She chuckled again, and  Suki now was convinced that hers had to be one of the most beautiful chuckles in the world. “ Do you know how he asked me on a date?“ “No, how?“ “He asked  if“ Yue paused, obviously fighting the urge to laugh, “if I would want to do an activity together“ Suki could not help but laugh. That really was a classic Sokka. Yue joined her in, and for a moment, things felt alright. For a very small moment, of course. Until Yue continued, again in a more serious voice: §And then, just when I was starting to experience this side of life, I was ripped away from it all. I am sorry, I am sounding completely self absorbed now.“ “No, I absolutely know what you mean.“ Suki protested, and it was the truth. “I was training to be a Kyoshi warrior since I was 8, and I have been their leader now for quite some times. Of course I take pride in that, and I love teaching the other girls and all of us supporting each other. And I believe that our cause, to protect our home and everyone else who cannot protect themselves from violence and injustice is the most important one there is.“ She took a deep breath. What she was about to say was something she had never told anyone before. No one at home. None of her new friends. Not even Sokka. But she felt that now was the moment to do so. “Still, I have always had a secret list of things that I told myself I would once the war was over. Other girls from my town went out to dance while I worked on perfecting a move. I handed out food in a refugee camps instead of spending my afternoon in a teashop with friends. And I told myself that, once the work was done, once I had did my duty, once the war was over, I would do all those things as well. And now I am trapped here in this prison, not knowing if I will ever see anything else but brickwalls again.“ Suki looked Yue in the eyes and saw that she understood. And it felt so good to tell someone who did. “Not that I regret any of my choices. I just wish I would not have had to make them. I do not mind being a warrior. I just wish I had had a bit more time to be a girl, too.“ 

“Don’t talk like that.“ Yue had taken a step toward her, raising her right hand and looking determined.  “You will have that time to do that. You will get out of here,“ she said in a voice that did not allow any protest. “Say it,“ she then demanded as Suki remained quiet.

“What?“ “Say: I will make it out of here.“ Suki wondered if Yue was joking, but everything about her attitude spoke against that. She decided to do her the favor, even if she knew that the opposite was way more likely. “I will make it out of here.“ The words tasted strange in her mouth. But, in a way she did not understand, saying them made them more real. And not just saying them, but saying them to someone. Someone who would care if she would stick to them or not. “I will make it out of here,“ she said again, this time with a firmer voice. Somehow, that felt good.Yue nodded and smiled a smile that alone would be enough to light up the sky not only during night, but also day. “And then you would have to visit the north! You have to see our spirit festival.“ Even though Suki would have believed it to be impossible, her smile got even brighter. ”And our food is good, too! You can ask Sokka about that.“ “You know, I will visit the north. But only if you meet me there.“ Suki grinned, around of her now idea. “Aang told me about the spirt Oasis.“ Yue looked first surprised, than happy. “That sounds like plan.“ “So we have a deal?“ “We have a deal.“ One more small moment that Suki just wished she could capture. And that ended way to fast. “But now, I am afraid that I cannot stay much longer. And you need sleep.“ “Can’t you stay a bit longer? Just a little?“ Suki knew that Yue couldn’t. But sometimes the things you knew and the things you wanted to realize were very far away from each other. Yue shook her head, and Suki could see in her eyes that she wanted to leave as little as she wanted to let her go. Suki told herself to cut it. She was only making things harder fro the both of them. “You are probably right. I just do not want to be so alone“ “I understand that. I do. But Suki, I am with you, always. Even you can’t see me. Please remember that.“ “Yue reached out, and Suki could nearly feel the hand on her shoulder. She wanted to close her own hand around it, knowing very well that that would be impossible. And even if it was, she did not even know if Yue would like that. Instead she just sat there, wishing that this moment would last, while the same time knowing that it would not. “Will you still come back?“, she finally asked, more afraid of the answer than she wanted to admit. “I will. The next time I can leave the sky.“ “Promise?“ “I promise. Now sleep well.“ Suki nearly would have said „you too“, but caught herself quick enough. She wanted to think of something else to say. Something meaningful. But then, in the blink of an eye, her cell was already empty again.

Only that it was not the same, hostile emptiness from before. It was still filled with Yue`s  presence, her words were still hanging in the air. “I am with you, always“, she had said. And Suki believed her. btw it is on ao3, too! (maybe küddos? böökmarks?)

[ezpezlemonsquez]

I felt nostalgic while rewatching, so here it is, Zuko, Saya (oc, Sokka and Suki's granddaughter) and Iroh II for a while on a very special, very sad day...

Saya and Iroh were standing in one of many hallways of Fire Nation Royal Palace. But this one was not just like any other hallways. Lord Zuko made it an alley of the heros, who helped win the war and organise the world afterwards. At first there were just statues. Then, the statues were completed with photos. The hallway was bringing up the most cherished memories. But it was also bringing up the sad ones, as many of those heroes passed away a long time ago. That was the reason Iroh and Saya were there that day.

Saya didn't like visiting this hallway. She didn't like looking at the photos of her grandparents, great-aunts and great-uncles. She didn't like these statues. Their resemblance to their models was striking. It felt like not only the statue, but the person themselves, pierced her with their look. But that day she figured the hallway was the best place to go. She stayed at the palace as an official guest of the Fire Lord, while she was on a break from her regular post. She was supposed to catch up with everyone available from the Academy and also give a few lectures there. She loved staying in the capital. But this day didn't bring her joy. Because this day was the anniversary of her grandfather's death.

Iroh put his arm around her shoulder and hugged her gently. He didn't say anything. He knew she hated it, so he just wanted to be there for her. Saya didn't hold back tears anymore and let them flow down her cheeks.

"I miss him terribly" she whispered. "Both of them." She looked over at the statue of Suki. She didn't have the courage to look at the photos of them together.

"I know" replied Iroh, kissing her head gently.

"I hate that they're gone."

"Too bad your mom isn't here, she'd probably know what to say better than me."

Saya smiled weakly.

"No, it's okay. We're used to not spending that time together. We don't see each other a lot, but I know it's a difficult day for her as well" she explained. "So, you don't have to say anything, I'm just glad you're here."

"Always by your side, honey." Smiled Iroh.

"Am I interrupting, general Saya?" someone spoke up, walking up to them. Saya wiped her tears with the sleeve.

"Lord Zuko, no, of course not" she answered, immediately getting back control over her voice. "I'm sorry, I'll just collect myself and I'm ready to do whatever you need from me."

Zuko smiled sourly.

"I'm not here on any official business, Saya" he explained, stopping next to her. "I'm here to pay the tribute to my best friend."

"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Zuko sighed and looked at one of the photos. Tears appeared in his eyes as he saw himself and chief Sokka, his most trusted advisor, at an important meeting, one of the firsts. All of them stood silently for a while, until Zuko spoke up again.

"Iroh, would you give us a minute?"

Iroh was surprised but didn't refuse.

"Of course. You're gonna be alright?" he asked Saya, taking his arm from her shoulder. She nodded.

"Yes, thank you."

Iroh smiled and walked away. At first neither of them was talking. But finally Saya decided to ask a question.

"Do you miss him, uncle?"

A single tear flowed down his cheek, but he smiled weakly.

"Every single day" he answered quietly. "I miss both of them. They were my best friends and sometimes I still catch myself on thinking 'I'm going to ask Suki' or 'I can't wait to tell Sokka' and it lasts only a second but it hurts every time when I remind myself they're really gone."

Saya chuckled.

"I bet you actually have more right to miss them than I do" she said sadly.

"What are you talking about?"

"They were your best friends" she started explaining. "You went through so much together. I don't remember much of them."

"That doesn't mean you can't miss them as much as I do." Nodded Zuko. "What do you remember of them?"

Saya smiled.

"I remember how grandpa taught me to throw a boomerang. And how we would go fishing together. I remember him saying 'You know, Saya, one day you'll become a great sailor and you'll travel all over the world, I can feel it.' He wasn't wrong, though."

"Yes, Sokka never was." Smiled Zuko. "What else?"

"I remember how nana used to do me a Kyoshi warrior make up. I was so little and mom was so mad when I left the paint all over my clothes." Saya chuckled silently. "I remember she was the one who taught me how to braid my hair. She was always saying how much I'm worth and to never forget about it."

Zuko smiled.

"Yes, that sounds a lot like Suki. She used to do my haircuts too, you know? No one else after her could do it so well."

Saya looked over at Zuko and smiled. He laid his hand on her shoulder.

"Listen, little one. I've told that once Yue, your mother, and now I'm going to tell it you" he started. "They not actually gone, you know? I see them all the time. In you. And they would be so proud of you, I'm sure of that. They were so happy when you were born." He smiled, remembering those happy days when they were all still together. A whole group.

"And do you think they are now?" asked Saya. Zuko raised his eyebrows in question, so she explained. "Happy."

Zuko thought for a moment before answering.

"I think they are. And I have to say, although I quite enjoy living, I can't wait to reunite with them. One way or another."

Saya smiled.

"Thank you, uncle Zuko. This day is never easy but you actually made it a lot better."

Zuko nodded.

"I could say the same about you." He looked over at the statue and took one of the not flamed candles. "Do you want to light it with me?"

Saya nodded and took out a box of matches from a pocket. She lit a candle and Zuko placed it at its place. They stood there silently for another while, until Saya spoke up again.

"You know, maybe I didn't know them so well, but I think they would be proud of you too, uncle."

Zuko looked at her, completely surprised. But then, he smiled and tears showed up in his eyes.

"Thank you, Saya."

[edelweiss123]

It still baffles me...

...that the writers of a kid's show who were willing to blatantly address various heavy topics on-screen such as revenge, war, torture, racism, famine, sexism, ableism, child abuse, abandonment, and fucking GENOCIDE, with gravity and aplomb...

...still somehow thought that "literal 12-year-old doesn't end up with his first crush" would be a deal-breaker.  Like...?

Okay.  First, a disclaimer.  I am a die-hard Zutara shipper. I'm also really fond of MaiLee and Taang, independent of that, and really don't care for Maiko, but that's topic for a different post.  None of the points I’m going to go over have anything to do with those pairings.

But EVEN IF I didn't feel that there were far better canon characters for Katara and Aang to end up with respectively...

Kataang, as it is written in canon, is sad and weird and uncomfortable to me, and here's why:

The Dynamic

Maybe if the characters had been, say, 16 and 18 when they first met, this wouldn't be a problem.  But Aang is 12 and Katara's 14.  And their maturity gap is far larger than a mere two years.

Aang, despite being well traveled and the burden of Avatarhood on his shoulders, is also a very *young* 12.  Remember, up until the iceberg, he's lived a pretty idyllic, mostly responsibilty free life.  He's only known he was the Avatar for like, a month, tops, before that.  Sure, the other monk children don't play with him after this reveal, but it's well established he has friends all over the globe; he's a prodigy, yes, with all the pressure that can bring, but it doesn't appear he was pushed to master air so fast?  He just very much enjoys airbending.  And Gyatso is a loving guardian.

Which is why he runs away at the first sign of something difficult in his life--the possibility of losing Gyatso.

Compare this to Katara, who was born in a hostile landscape amongst a struggling people.  She is, as far as she knows, the last of her kind, with no teacher to guide her.  She suffers a traumatic loss young, and it is *explicitly stated in the show* that she stepped up to fill her mother's shoes at what, 7? 8? While her family grieved.  Her father leaves, possibly to never return, when she is 11.  She is laden with responsibility beyond her years.  Her time and energy are not for her to spend on herself--she has too much to do.  *She is not a child*

So of *course* she starts mothering this wide-eyed cheerful boy, who got taken away by the same people who murdered her mother within a day of meeting him.  He's the Avatar but he's also an innocent kid in need of protection and care.

Now, does that mean she never acts immature?  No--she *is* still a teenager, and prone to occasional bouts of typical teenager dumbassery. (see: waterbending scroll).  But she does most of the chores and nags the others about their misbehavior and tries to console them when when they're down. She literally poses as Aang's mother at a PTA meeting.  For fucks sake, at the end of Season 2, when she's holding a dead Aang sprawled in her arms and looking pleadingly at the sky, there is NO WAY you can convince me all those art students storyboarding that scene WEREN'T making an intentional reference to *La Pieta*--You know, that super famous statue where Mary is cradling her dead Savior son (before he gets resurrected) and that is widely considered one of the most poignant examples of MOTHERLY LOVE AND GRIEF in the whole WORLD.

And I don't know about you... but it's really, really creepy to me for a *romantic* relationship to result from something with that much mother/son energy deliberately coded into the show.

The Lack Of Development

At what point does Katara reciprocate the crush? It's very well established that Aang has a crush, of course.  But we've got 61 episodes and basically no definitive evidence that Katara feels anything for Aang beyond platonic affection.  There's the time a fortune teller says she'll marry a powerful bender and she's like, 'huh' (let's ignore the fact that Aang at the time is like the only powerful bender she really knows).  There's the time she (almost?) kisses Aang in a cave because, you know, she thinks they might stay lost forever and starve to death if she doesn't (romantic!)  

The other two times Aang kisses her--she's just kind of shocked after the first one, and gets mad after the second one because she *had just expressed a desire to not do so seconds before*  And the fourth kiss is in the literal last 30 seconds of the show, with no dialogue, no lead-up, just a fade to black "welp this is happening, aaaand, SCENE."  It very, very much has the feeling of "hero gets the prize/girl" instead of "two people who have been mutually longing for each other come together", and that's really, really gross to me.  It does such a disservice to both their characters, but Katara's especially.  It feels like she had no agency in this result, that they got together because Aang wanted it so much, but it matters so little what she wanted that we don’t even need to bother showing her wanting it.

The Stunting/Regression of Character Growth

What does Aang sacrifice? The answer?  Nothing.  'Now, wait a minute', I can hear you say, 'he lost his entire people and culture!  How can you say he's lost nothing!'  I didn't say he's never suffered *loss*.  But having something taken away from you and giving something up for another's sake are two entirely different things.  Aang, in the end, gets everything he wanted--the girl he wanted, his pacifist morals intact and unchallenged, his culture eventually restored.  Hell, he even somehow gets the Avatar State, despite never explaining how he manages it when it was EXPLICITLY STATED he couldn't do so without letting go of certain attachments.  Wow, guess it turns out he never needed to sort out all of his emotional trauma to acheive inner peace and enlightenment after all--just needed a good acupressure session to get those chakras flowin'! One quick magic whack to the back!

I don't think 'the hero is always right' is a good message.  The theme of 'just because you want something doesn't necessarily mean it's what's good for you, or others' is a pretty recurring theme throughout the rest of the show, and having the universe warp itself to accomodate the beliefs of the protagonist  (lookin' at you, deus-ex-machina turtle) so he is always right, no matter what, means that he never has to reevaluate his beliefs, never really has to *grow* as a character.  

Kya, Ursa, Yue, Iroh, Hakoda, Katara, Sokka, Zuko--hell, even Toph, who makes the decision to let Appa get taken so she can save her friends...

Over and over it's shown that Love is Sacrifice, and I think Aang should have been shown making some personal sacrifices for the sake of the world, instead of showing that the power of clinging to his absolutist morals is enough to solve all his problems.

I understand why the writers, despite showing many characters die off-screen, hesitated to show Aang killing someone, even someone unredeemably evil, because there would be no way to do it OFF screen, and it IS still a kid's show.  (On that note:  couldn’t they have just somehow...idk, trapped Ozai in the Spirit World or something?  Have him literally sent to not-hell?)  

BUT, that doesn't mean they couldn't have shown Aang doing something that made him realize that, as the Avatar, even if a necessary action went against his personal beliefs or wasn't what he wanted, his needs are superceded by the needs of the world he claims to love.  He ignores this in S2 and nearly pays the ultimate price... but it's never properly addressed again. And thus, because that never happens, I honestly don't consider 13-yr-old Aang all that much more mature than 12-yr-old Aang, and I think that's a waste of potential.  

And as for character regression...

Katara? Master Waterbender and war-hero?  Who grabbed onto the first opportunity to explore the world beyond her tiny home, who fought for every scrap of skill and recognition she had--against a world determined to see her as lesser because of her race, her gender, her age?  Who never backed down from what she thought was right, even when her own family and friends didn't support her?  You're telling me that, according to canon, *that same Katara* was perfectly content to retreat to the South Pole and do nothing of note for the next 70 years except for being a good little housewife and healer?  Get the fuck out of here with that misogynistic horseshit.

IN CONCLUSION

I could go on.  I could talk about the unequal division of emotional labor between the two--with Katara constantly having to be mindful of not upsetting Aang too much lest he fly away and/or have an Avatar State tantrum.  With Katara constantly reassuring Aang, but Aang, for instance, offering unsolicited advice about revenge instead of trying to understand what she needed, or kissing her without asking--twice!--and expecting them to be together without him ever even asking if that's what she wanted.  I could talk about Katara not taking Aang to task for things he does wrong and Aang not being willing to see that Katara isn't perfect--how he puts her on a pedastal and Katara is afraid to leave it and break his illusions by being her real self.

But ultimately, what it boils down to, it that the most unrealistic thing about AtLA was not the magic, or the spirits, or the hybrid animals.

No, the most unbelievable thing about this show is that the ending was ruined just because more than creating a consistent thematic and emotional throughline, a couple of white dudes wanted to vicariously live out all of their "hot-for-babysitter" childhood fantasies.

And that's all I have to say about that.

[storytime-with-moth]

Writing part of my ATLA Soulflower Prompt - take what you like and make it into your own!

Feel free to take what you like from this and change whatever you like to make it work. There are lots of different ways to interpret flowers and how the characters were feeling. Send me any fan art or fanfic from this if you use it, no credit needed I just want to admire it! Feel free to just use placements of the flowers too! No meanings needed, I just like the idea of Sokka really only nicking his hands and covering up the flowers on his arms with wraps until he can’t hide it anymore when his face is marked.

MOSTLY JUST ZUKKA 

Notes: There could also be lot’s of fun angst and miscommunication because Sokka knows when he first sees Zuko, but Zuko shouldn’t notice until he shows up at the Western Air Temple saying “Zuko here” and that way his decision to leave the Fire Nation is entirely based on his own character growth, for which he is rewarded with finally being worthy of his soulmate. (there will be growing pains between the boys)

But of course the whole time Sokka just thinks Zuko is a jerk who would ignore his own soulmate so callously which is why he tried to move on with Yue and Suki.

For this cannon divergence Sokka has always known that being Bi is fine and discovered his own bisexuality on the road when he is presented with boys his age for the first time as well as girls that aren’t his sister. And our dear Zuko is gay and him and Mai use each other as beards when he goes back to the Fire Nation. (Mai/Ty Lee but they have to keep it on the down low)

Here it goes….

When Sokka was 8 he got a fish hook stuck in his thumb, and of course it had to be a stupid barbed hook that stuck steadfast in his hand. Being the bright you man he was he thought he could leverage the hook out with another small blade. And that was how he ended his evening hugging his Mum and lamenting over the two sore holes in his thumb. Kya brushed through his hair with her hands and whispered stories of his Dad doing the same thing when he was young.

Sokka turned around and held his Mother’s hand in his turning it over gently, there in between her fingers rested a small pink blossom of Balsamine.

“What does this one mean Mum?”

Kya smiled softly at her son “Impatience my little arctic dove…. You are so much like your father I bet your soulmate is looking at two of the same flower on their thumb right now.”

Sokka looked back at his thumb with reverence. “You think they’ll like me?”

“I know they will, the spirits don’t make mistakes.”

In that moment miles away a young prince sat next to a small candle holding his hand up mesmerized by the two pink flowers on his thumb.

“Hello.”

_______________________

When Kya passed, Sokka silently stacked the rocks making her burial site with the rest of his family, his hand slipped on his own tears and ice slicing his palm open in the process. He couldn’t be bothered to care. He just wrapped more cloth around it and continued with his silent vigil of burying his mother.

That night Prince Zuko would be found pouring over a soul flower book looking for the deep crimson flower on his palm.

“The Dark Crimson Rose: Can have two interpretations. One is about sadness and mourning and death. The second, has a more joyous meaning - rebirth and love.  When someone your soulmate care about passes away, the dark crimson rose can express their feelings of mourning and sadness.”

Zuko held his hand close to himself and whisper softly “I’m sorry.”

—————————————

Years later Sokka woke up screaming and clutching his face, his face felt like it was on fire. Worse than any soul pain before, worse than any pervious flower burning into his hand or arm, this was agony.

He didn’t speak for days, too much pain and anguish plagued his 12 year old body. His eye was fuzzy for days and it took weeks for him to regain his balance enough to be trusted in a canoe with his dad.

What never left however were the purple hyacinth’s scattered around his left eye and cheek. He asked his Dad what they mean’t, but he just shook his head looking sad.

“I’m not sure son. I have never seen flowers like that before and so much of our history has been lost I’m not sure anyone left knows much about every flower.”

Sokka hung his head and left the room. Not before Hakoda whispered to himself “Your mother would have known.”

___________________________

After a childhood spent running away from Azula’s flames and then his Father’s, he was grateful that his soulmate seemed to live a safe life only ever nicking their hands and forearms, more often than not they were so small and shallow the flowers would fade in a few months just like his soulmates scars.

There were a few flowers that stayed into his teens, the two pink flowers on his thumb, the red rose on his palm and a small cockscomb across the back of his hand, which he read symbolized affection, singularity, and silliness. He was fond of that one, Zuko liked to think his soulmate got that one playing with a friend and laughing like Ty Lee does when Mai tries to do a handstand.

He hoped that when he met his soulmate they would forgive him for the unfortunate number and placement of flowers they would have. The burn across his face was likely to never heal completely meaning that not only had his father marked him for life, they marked his soulmate too.

_______________________

Zuko noticed that once he started in earnest to chase the Avatar more and more soul flowers would pop up on his hands, knees, and every once in a while across his cheek or on the back of his head. Most of them faded after a few weeks, but their appearance still made his heart lurch a little.

Why were they suddenly in so much danger? Why did all the flowers mean bravery and courage? Who were they fighting?

He had figured out a while ago that his soulmate must be a boy, because he never found any interest in the girls around him. Plus the scars had to come from someone who worked with their hands hunting, fishing, practising with blades. Only that could account for all the small nicks he saw over the years. So his soulmate was a warrior.

He secretly hoped that he wasn’t fighting against his soulmate, that would be awful.  

______________________

When Aang burned Katara his hands were suddenly covered in burning lavender sprigs, he wept as Sokka yelled at him and Katara’s shriek repeated in his mind.

Eventually the burning stopped and he looked down at his hands, they were clear, not a lavender in sight.

But he knew what the appearance of the flowers meant, Katara was his soulmate and he had hurt her.

Before running from the camp he asked Jeong Jeong what lavender meant.

“It means distrust young Avatar.”

That night Aang vowed to never fire bend again, he couldn’t risk losing her faith.

_______________________

While at the Northern Air Temple Sokka scoured the mechanist’s library for a book on soul flowers, he couldn’t stand knowing who his idiot jerk of a soulmate was without knowing what the flowers meant. Probably evil or cruelty or something Jerk worthy.

"The Purple Hyacinth: Can be interpreted as your soulmates Sorrow, often the words “I am sorry. Please forgive me.” Were said when the soul flower appears.”

Sokka sat heavily on the floor, the new information swirling around his mind. Zuko was begging for forgiveness when someone burned his face. A child was asking for forgiveness and someone decided to burn him instead.

He swallowed a lump in his throat.

Okay yes Zuko was a jerk. A jerk who through him into the snow when they first met and has since chased them around the world throwing fire at them. So a bad guy, AND a jerk for not even mentioning the obvious flowers across Sokka’s face that matched his own scar.

But no deserved that. Especially if they were saying they were sorry, and it was obvious by the flowers on his own face that Zuko had truly meant his sorrow.

Still his enemy though, so he couldn’t think on it for too long. And he couldn’t tell his friends what they truly meant.

_____________________________

Only a week later Sokka woke up with a start thinking he had fallen off of Appa and hit the ground. His body ached and burned and for a moment he worried over the angry Prince.

In the morning the sharp pains had eased to be a dull ache and the snapdragons scattered across his body faded, the closer they got to the Northern Water Tribe.

Once they arrived one of the elders noted the snapdragon across his cheek and complimented him on his soulmates grace under pressure and inner strength in trying circumstances.

He wondered what Zuko could have done to earn those.

_____________________________

Sokka meeting Yue - falls into the canal hurts himself - Zuko gets a Daffodil - regard, respect, chivalry, unrequited love, symbolic for the power of inner beauty

When Sokka loses Yue he gets hurt in the same spot and so covering the Daffodil on Zuko is a White tulip - forgiveness, lost love

_______________________

Aang in the catacombs gets struck by lightning  - White Lotus flower on Katara - purity, enlightenment, self regeneration and rebirth - he let go of Katara and reached the full avatar state

Maybe the one on his foot could be different? A secondary emotion

_______________________

Zuko final Agni Kai taking the lighting for Katara - Sokka gets a White rose - I am worthy of you OR Pink carnation - I will never forget you OR Purple columbine - resolution OR Edlweiss - courage devotion (lot’s to pick from)

______________________

One day when they get married they prick each others thumbs (like hand fasting) to show the whole world the true intent of their marriage.

On Zuko’s thumb (meaning Sokka’s intention) - Camellia blue - you are the flame in my heart

On Sokka’s thumb (meaning Zuko’s intention) - Violet purple - you occupy my thoughts, blue love

_________________________