#everyone prioritizes my little sister

[moonysfavoritetoast]

my mom is staying home to take care of my ten year old sister (who can take care of herself) instead of coming to my fucking concert i actually like what we’re playing why can’t she come

[jaanii]

i hate this i hate this i hate this

[kamotecue]

her drunken mistake ✮ l. walti

pairing: lia walti x fem!reader

summary: it’s been a while since you transferred to chelsea, what happens if you meet a certain swiss player at an english pub?

part one, two and three

ever since you signed for chelsea, things have been going great. you weren’t a starter like everyone expected you to be, which you were okay with—but you did get the playing time, as a sub.

and when you went on the pitch, the game had changed. there wasn’t a game where you didn’t score a goal, or assisted one. but you hummed, entering the english pub, music and dancing had filled the room. 

your eyes scouted the place, checking if there is anyone who recognized you. but there wasn’t thankfully, you made your way across the room to the bar, ordering yourself a bourbon.

the bartender gave you a flirty smile, as she handed you the drink. you returned it with a polite smile, as you carefully took a sip of the drink, the liquor gave you this pleasant but burning sensation in your throat.

“it’s the first time, i’ve seen you in this pub.” the bartender said, giving you a shy smile as you hummed.

“i’m not much of a drinker.” you replied, the thick spanish accent was heard—as she chuckled at your words, making you a little bit confused. was there something funny that made her laugh?

“you’re not from here, so family or work?” your eyes wandered around, looking at the difference pictures, bottles and basically the overall design of the place.

“work, i believe.”  a hum was heard as the bartender introduced herself, her hand was held out—waiting for you to accept it.

“i’m eloise, and you are?” you held her hand, shaking it before letting go.

“i’m y/n.” you softly said, an hour had passed and you still gave a short response much to elosie’s amusement. in her eyes, it was cute on how shy you were, but you were completely oblivious.

your attention was diverted as you felt someone stumble into you, their filled drink was now empty as you felt your shirt get soaked. 

“lia?” you asked, as the swiss player landed on top of you, you secured your arms around her waist making sure she wouldn’t fall on the ground, or hurt her head.

“are you here alone?” you asked out of the blue, scanning the room to see if she came with her teammates but you didn’t see any.

“alright, there?” eloise asked, as you hummed.

“i’m afraid i need to go.” eloise gave you a nod before writing down something on a piece of paper, as she ripped it giving you—it revealed her number.

“call me, will you.” you gave her a nod, before slowly standing up. you carried her bridal style, as you made your way out of the pub.

carefully placing her in the passenger’s seat, you reached over to put on her seat belt, taking note of how close her breathe was near your neck.

the faint click made you move back, as you analyzed her face—her lips were in a frown as you chuckled at how cute she looked—but your eyes were widened as she lurched forward, her vomit quickly staining your shirt and neck.

a wince escaped your mouth as you should’ve expected it. you weren’t mad really, but you only worried about the mess—considering you have practice tomorrow.

you had entered the passenger seat, deciding that you would deal with this when everything was sorted out. the drive to your apartment wasn’t that long, you carefully made your way up, the swiss player in your arms as you slowly kicked the door open.

the apartment was a mess, the boxes were still unpacked—you only prioritized your bedroom, the kitchen equipment, and the couch.

“you’ll be sleeping in my room for tonight.” you muttered underneath your breath, not wanting her to be uncomfortable. gently placing her on the bed, you pulled the soft blanket over her, preventing her from being cold throughout the night.

you stepped back before analyzing your room, above the headrest only two jerseys had been framed—your sister’s and someone you look up to.

“i need a shower, and to clean the mess.” you swiped a pair of clothes from your closet, heading to the spare shower—trying to not wake your guest up. 

you hummed a song, as you removed your hearing aids—stripping off the clothes before stepping in the shower. 

[ugly-pickle]

Good morning, Pickle.

Please kindly consider this Ayato request: Your spoilt and pampered sister who has always destroyed every marriage prospect you have isn't happy that Ayato chose to marry you instead of her. So, on your wedding day, she has her servants destroy your wedding kimono as a fit of petty jealousy.

Please also kindly take as long as you need with this request; I have no qualms in waiting. Furthermore, by no means feel obligated to prioritize this request over your other requests.

lovely ☆ ayato

CHARACTERS: ayato x f!reader

SYNOPSIS: your sister seems to be upset when she finds out that you and ayato are engaged, so she casually ruins your wedding

GENRE: fluff 💿

W/C: 1.4k

C/W: cussing, betrayal, scissors, and physical touch (let me know if ive missed anything!)

A/N: OMG MY FIRST REQUEST AHRGHDSHH im currently working on your other request @sailorstar9 so just hold on tight! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

your sister is your everything, from the moment of her birth, when you held her in your arms you just knew you had to protect her until the sun and the moon collided, no, even after that you have to protect her. you thought all of the compassion youve shown your sister would help her bloom to be an elegant young lady, but has instead grown into a carrion flower.

your sister is certainly a bitch from time to time, but maybe it's because she doesnt have any suitors that truly love her, on the other hand you do. only an imbecile wouldnt want to be your lover, youre charming, funny, loving, intelligent, and beautiful. it could be out of jealousy that your sister had ruined your relationships with men who want your hand in marrige.

one day, you were having a fancy dinner with ayato, his family (plus thoma), you, and your family, when he suddenly got down on one knee and held out a ring with a fat diamond to you. you obviously accepted his proposal, and everyone in the room applauded for the two of you, except your sister.

for the next couple of months of your engagement with ayato, youve noticed that your little sister has become, well, bitter. her state worsens more and more the closer that the date of your wedding day approaches.

the week of your wedding day has finally arrived. the first gift youve received is from ayaka; you open the gift, you laid your eyes on the most beautiful kimono that has ever been made. the embroidery is truly one of a kind, the floral patterns was simply gorgeous, and the hair ornament looks so delicate that even the softest gush of wind could shatter it into pieces.

“oh my— ayaka this is beautiful…” youre at a loss of words, “im glad it’s to your liking,” ayaka responds with a sweet smile gracing her lips. “i will make sure that this kimono will never know what a blemish is,” you tell her solemnly, she giggles, “i wish i could talk to you longer, but im afraid that i have unavoidable duties to attend too,”

you bid ayaka farewell. you close the door behind you, you place the kimono back into its box and store it safely away. oh how you cannot wait to tells your friends and family about this gift, especially your sister.

when she heard about the news of your kimono that descended from celestia she threw an entire fit, one more immature than a toddler’s, but she does have her manners and did it once you had left the estate. her servants were comforting by her and calming her down, until one suggested to, perhaps, ruin the kimono?…

now that this idea has been implemented into your sister’s brain, nothing could lure it out. during the days leading up to your big day your sister has been ordering scissors so sharp that it could leave a scratch on the geo archon’s shield. your sister had selected her most loyal servants fit for the task to to shred your beloved wedding kimono to pieces.

your big wedding day is finally here! your bridesmaids are helping you get ready, they took you to the bath first, leaving your bedroom unattended.

the servants took this opportunity to sneak into your sleeping chambers and rummage through your things, looking for your kimono. after some time, one had found it; calling the others over, they started to get to work.

the embroidery now looks like the handwriting that belongs to a toddler, the floral designs had certainly seen better days, and the ornament is now smashed into pieces. the kimono now looks like the ghost from the ring would wear. your sister’s servants, pleased with their artwork, placed the kimono back into the box and storing it where they first found it.

you hear something scurry away, you open the door to see nothing. you shrug it off, “ladies, would you please bring my kimono? it’s in that box over there,” your bridesmaids nod there head, one of them grabs the box and places it on your bed. you open the box to find your kimono in a strange state.

your eyes widened in horror, you wanted to cry but you were in too much shock to do so. your bridesmaids were just as terrified as you are. the maid of honor instantly sent out two ladies, trying to order another kimono in such short notice. the ceremony is soon, you want someone to comfort you, but not the ladies with you. your sister? not a good idea, ayato? yes. but, hes busy.

you tell everyone to get out of the room, not wanting to shed tears infront of them, "but y/n, the wedding is soon, we cant afford to waste time, especially now." you acknowledge this for a moment, but with no dress you cant have the perfect wedding youve always dreamt of; besides the ladies cant get another kimono in time. "out. i already told you, get out," they cant do anything but put their heads down and listen to you, they exit the room one by one.

after the last one shuts the door, the tears fall down your face, you cant help it, you really cant. who did this? who would be so cruel, so jealous, so petty to do this? not even the tsaritsa would be this evil. the only person you know of who would do this is,

your sister?

how can she be so cruel?… but, jumping to conclusions is never good for anyone, and even if she did do this, it couldve been out of jealously.

.....

oh FUCK THAT SHIT, she just ruined your wedding for archons sake. you look at the clock. oh archons. the ceremony had started, but who cares, even a trash bag looks better than your wedding kimono.

tears are continuously rolling down your face, like a river that will never stop flowing. your sniffles are quiet, but it is the only rolling that can be heard in this room.

…

ayato is standing there at the alter, waiting for the love of his life, but she never shows up. worry suddenly floods his mind, what if something happened? he excuses himself and rushes to find you.

your sister sees him dashing towards her. have the archons finally answered her prayers? “oh ayato! i knew you would come to your senses sooner or later!” she exclaims. ayato, a bit disgusted, brushes her off and says politely, “i love y/n dearly and im currently searching for her, do you have any idea where she might be?”

one of your bridesmaids is running towards ayato, “over there ayato! quickly!” she shouts and points from across the room, unable to catch her breath. ayato nods, running towards where you are.

he slams the door open, “y/n—“ he cuts himself off when he sees your glossy eyes, tears falling down your face, your sniffles and breath trembling. “oh ayato,” you walk to your not-so-soon-to-be-husband and embrace him. the wet stain on his shoulder slowly growing.

for the first time in a while, ayato is genuinely shocked, hes seeing his lover upset, crying, and he cant do anything about it. “my love, whats wrong? what happened?”

you point to your bed, ayato takes a look and sees why— he and ayaka spent hours searching for a dress thats one of a kind and meant for you. his eyes widen a bit then relax again. he places his hand on the small on your back and rubs it in small circles.

he comforts you by saying, “i am beyond lucky to have you as my bride, even the most expensive jewels cannot be compared to your beauty because you outshine all, so please dont be too upset about this matter. i will find a dress made in celestia just to please my wonderful my darling.” he kisses your temple and pulls say, his face looks a bit more eerie now.

“your sister, right?” ayato asks you. “i think so—” ayato cuts you off, “i’ll cut off that bitches head as soon as possible, dont worry y/n.”

:)

A/N: this was VERY rushed but i hope you still enjoyed it ૮ ⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄ ·̭ o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝ ྀིა

imagine a plot twist where the sister is in love with you lol (i dont write incest)

TAGLIST: @sailorstar9 @gummy-dummy @hopefulceladon @username-try-3

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

Unpredictable Part 3-Limoreau x black!fem!reader fic

A/N: AAAH, thank you for all the support on this. I didn't think it'd be a series but I can't stop writing.

Warnings: toxic parents, body shaming, eating disorders, alcohol abuse, and swearing

Words: 7.7k

Series Masterlist

 “…and that’s how I knew that I was meant to do charity work,” the nasal redhead concluded.

That afternoon, the Si Chi house was packed with pledges in floral or puffy Selkie and Miss Selfridge sun dresses. A handful of servers circulated the foyer with trays of orange juice and mimosas. The combination of Prada Candy and Viktor Rolfe Flowerbomb made my head spin but I smiled through it as I nodded at different pledges’ stories. All of them were desperately trying to toe the line between interesting and bragging because one could never act too important for a potential house.

“That’s great news,” I glanced at her name tag, “Brenda since Si Chi regularly engages in philanthropic work.”

 Brenda smiled widely, making the hot pink blush on her cheeks even more prominent. “I know, that’s why I’m so interested in joining this---your house.”

“Well, we are glad that you took the time to visit us. Would you excuse me?”

As I weaved my way through the foyer, I plucked a mimosa from a passing server and started sipping. Exactly five seconds passed until I was surrounded by a new crop of bright-eyed freshmen.

“Oh my gosh, are you Y/N Y/L/N?” a willowy brunette asked.

“Guilty, and you are?”

“She’s Justine,” a shorter brunette interrupted.

Justine narrowed her eyes and thinly covered the glare with a smile. “I can introduce myself, thanks, Renee.”

Renee shrunk a little in her oversized light blue sundress and I glanced at Justine.

“So, why are you interested in our house?” I asked.

Justine straightened up and smiled like a pageant girl. “Well, I’m perfectly aligned with all the values of Si Chi: Sisterhood, respect, and intelligence. I am all about women empowerment and I respect people from all backgrounds----I’m exposed to a bunch of different people as an actress, anyway.”

“What about intelligence?”

“Well, I think there’s many different kinds of intelligence and, as an actress, I’m emotionally intelligent to the point where I’m exhausted by everyone else’s energy.”

“She really has to prioritize self-care,” Renee added.

“It’s great that you’re aware of that for yourself.”

She had to be one of the least self-aware people I ever encountered and that was a difficult fete. However, her socials had decent numbers and she had been in a few Vought Plus movies, which would help her win Sydney and Lydia, the vice president, over. The next two years with her and her friend would be irritating.

A softer expression slipped across Justine’s face, and she took a step towards me. “I just want to say that I think it’s so brave that you’ve been participating in all the rush events despite your traumatic experience. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to see Luke,” she paused and placed a hand on her chest, “kill himself.”

Though it had been a week since, it still felt like a bomb rolled off Justine’s tongue when she said it. The wave of emotions that I experienced in that time was hard to describe; Shetty said that grief was a rollercoaster, and the influx of emotions was normal.

“As impossible as it may seem, one day you will come to accept what happened,” she’d advised. “You may experience more anxiety but, with your network, I am sure you will be able to cope.”

The network she referred to was strained at best and destroyed at worst. My “sisters” were as supportive as they could be: Alina gave me a Lush self-care kit, Sasha was not nearly as antagonizing as usual, Lydia gave me grief book recommendations, and Sydney let me pick what workout classes we attended. Emma and Cate were the only non-Si Chi people I spoke to since it was way too difficult to speak to the others.

Justine placed her hand on my shoulder. “If you ever need someone to talk to, you can count on me.”

“Thank you for the thought,” I replied, smiling tightly.

“You must be so grateful that Marie was there to stop him,” Renee quipped.

I sipped some more juice to keep the confusing feelings from bubbling up. Nothing could have prepared me for Marie and Andre being propped as the Guardians of Godolkin, which was arguably the dumbest name Vought could give them. The less I wanted to see them, the more I saw their promos and videos. It was horrible that the last time we spoke we had a fight but every time I saw her, I felt a weird wrench in my chest.

At the very least, Emma seemed happy for her.

Then, Coco Allen, a Si Chi junior, appeared from the crowd and squeezed between the freshmen. “There you are, Y/N, I have a crim freshman with a water manipulation ability who wants to pick your brain.”

“Sure. Will you excuse me?”

“Bye!” Renee called as Coco pulled me through the crowd.

When we got to the less populated living room, I exhaled a breath I did not know I was holding. Then, I turned to the beaming Coco.

“Thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome. You know I hate entitled freshmen,” Coco mused.

Coco was the only other black girl in Si Chi and happened to be the first one to talk to me when I visited the house last year. She was a little shorter than me with deep mahogany skin that always glowed. She always wore her waist-length jet-black hair in tight curls and accessorized solely with gold jewelry. That day, she wore a fitted white sundress with espadrilles.

“Were there this many last year?” I asked.

Coco shook her head. “But there are a few more black girls so it’s promising.”

“That’s great! I hope I can find them before the event’s over.”

“That would be great.” Coco eyed me. “So, how are you holding up?”

“I’m okay, the mimosas don’t hurt though.”

“They never do. You didn’t have to come today, you know, you could have taken more time, get out of here for a minute.”

I shook my head. “I needed this, it’s a nice distraction or, it has been. Besides, what would it look like if the secretary didn’t attend?”

Coco nodded slowly but I could tell that the gears in her head were turning too much for her to be convinced. “You’re already Sydney and Lydia’s favorite and they might have let it slide.”

I cocked my head at her and she immediately started chuckling half-heartedly.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. The hoops they make us jump through are ridiculous,” Coco reflected.

“It makes sense why you didn’t want to be an officer even though you’re poli sci,” I commented.

Coco grinned. “Hey, I’m making decent connections just by being in this house. This is just a steppingstone on my path to become the first black woman supe president.”

Even though the title was long, if anyone could do it, it was Coco. One time last year I sat in on one of her debates in class and she had a senior in tears and their debate partner ready to put their laser eyes to good use.

“Well, don’t forget little ole me when you’re a big shot,” I teased.

Coco frowned. “What do you mean ‘little’? You have done too much to talk like that.”

I shrugged. “Not that they’re not as important but my four-year plan is less impressive than yours.”

“Oh yeah, the plan where you basically end up a trophy wife? No shade but, I think you’d be way too bored in that role.”

“Hey, I would have a city contract too. Plus, it’s what I want and what I see for myself every time I look into the future. Every step I have taken up until this point puts me closer to that.”

My voice was much stronger than I thought it would be but Coco was always pushing me. Some days it was motivating and on others, it was infuriating.

“Like I said, I’m not trying to crush your dreams or your plan but is that really all you want for yourself? Especially thinking about all the good you’re already doing with your powers?” Coco questioned.

Her words plagued me for the rest of the event and bugged me when we gave our ratings of the pledges to Sydney and Lydia.

“Oh, and Y/N, don’t forget to send me that compilation with all the pledges’ socials,” Sydney requested as I was on my way out of the foyer.

“Of course, you’ll have it by the end of the day.”

Everything was much quieter underwater, except for my thoughts, but those were much clearer. Every time I thought about where I would be in five years, it was the same: smiling at a city event on the arm of some suit. I never saw the man’s face but I knew he had to be somewhat attractive. My eyes fluttered closed at the bottom of the pool and I focused on my future.

It was the same image, complete with flashing cameras and I was wearing a gorgeous rose pink Oscar de la Renta gown. My hair was piled on top of my head in Senegalese twists, and I was smiling widely. However, when I tried to look at whose arm I was on, it was like I could not turn my head. The harder I tried, the sorer the side of my neck got.

After a few more seconds of trying, I pushed myself up to the surface and sucked in the air. The sky was a mix of orange, purple, and blue. Sydney was blasting “My Head, My Heart”, which signaled that she was getting ready to go out with Eric Landon, the president of Sigma Kappa. It would be nice to be asked on a date, a proper one without the expectations of sex later.

My face warmed at the fact that I had never actually been asked out. People constantly told me how good looking I was but that did not translate into boys falling all over themselves for me. There were the occasional fun nights out but it would always end in that same venue. I didn’t think I asked for too much: flowers, good morning and good night texts, respect, intelligence, and ambition. Emma told me I watched too many movies once and while that could have been true, I also thought that it wasn’t too much to ask a guy to hold a door open.

It also did not help that Jordan was the last person I ever got close to being intimate with. I groaned at the thought and dove underwater, making my way to the other side of the pool.

An almost-kiss should mean absolutely nothing but I could not stop thinking about it, just like I could not stop thinking about how Jordan would throw me under the bus to save themselves. I would never do that to anyone, especially not someone I cared about.

But you already did, the voice in my head hissed.

Marie didn’t count, I didn’t mean to do that; Andre, Luke, Cate, and Jordan decided for me. I would have stayed if it was my choice but that didn’t matter to Marie or any of them.

I pushed myself from the side of the pool and butterfly stroked my way to the other side. Thankfully, the water was heated and soothed my aching muscles. As I was about to resurface, I noted a blurry tall blonde figure standing above me. When I pushed up, Cate stood over me, her eyes worried.

“Hey,” I greeted.

“Hi, can we talk?”

“Sure.”

A few seconds later, I was wrapped in a fluffy towel and standing across from Cate. Her eyes shifted around for a moment before she suggested we headed inside. When we got to my room, she immediately closed the door behind us.

“Is there any way someone would have listening devices in here?” Cate asked.

“No,” I said slowly.

“Are you sure? There’s shit out now where they put it in the tiniest crevices and you would never know,” Cate argued.

“I would have seen it or had a hint about it. What’s going on?”

Cate finally sat on my bed, and I opted to stand across from her. “Andre and I found some stuff that makes Luke and Brink’s deaths way more complicated.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for one thing, they totally cleared out his room the day after he died and I mean everything.”

My eyes widened. “Even the…special drawer?”

“Yes, and at first, I thought it was protocol but what would they do with all those----”

“I get it, Cate, what else did you and Andre find?”

As Cate continued to speak, I could feel my stomach sink further and further, until I was sure it was somewhere in the house basement. Nothing Cate said meant anything positive for anyone. If there was some kind of lab under us, that meant anyone could become a part of it.

“Have you told anyone else?” I asked.

Cate huffed and leaned back on my bed. “Well, Jordan’s been spiraling about Marie and the rankings, so I can’t get a word in about anything else.”

“They’re spiraling?” I asked.

“You haven’t talked to them since Luke died?” Cate asked.

When she said it like that, it sounded like I committed a cardinal sin. After that day, there was nothing else for me to say to them. Even though I saw them in class occasionally, I never spoke to them and desperately tried to avoid eye contact.

“They could have reached out too,” I muttered.

“You’re such a younger sibling,” Cate commented.

“It’s true!” I whined.

“Well, they’ve been freaking out about the rankings since they fell down to number five and Andre’s number one.”

Being in the Top Five was like Jordan’s lifeline. They’d always shared a friendly rivalry with Luke but I knew they wanted to be number one eventually. They spent almost all their time making sure they stayed in a high position and to drop to bottom of the Top Five must have been devastating.

“Oh no,” I whispered.

“Yeah, and your new best friend cracked the Top 100 and is Jordan’s new nemesis,” Cate added.

 I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a chocolate brown loungewear set. “Neither of them are my friends.”

Cate frowned. “Seriously, what is going on with you? The other night, you and Marie were inseparable, and you and Jordan were bantering. What happened?”

It must have been the fact that I was holding all my thoughts and feelings in because I burst.

“Marie and I can’t be friends since she thinks I’m a shallow bitch who would sacrifice her to save myself because I hang out with people who do. The funny part is that Jordan admitted they would backstab me if they could get ahead, which is definitely not something I would do to a friend or anyone I almost kissed!”

I was panting by the end and my chest felt a lot lighter. However, my nerves began to build when I noticed Cate’s mischievous grin.

“Who did you almost kiss?” Cate asked.

“That’s not the point,” I mumbled.

Cate stared at me for a second before lighting up. “It was Jordan, wasn’t it?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“You hesitated which means I’m right. It could have easily been Marie though since you were all over her.”

“Why do people keep saying that? I was being nice!”

Cate held up her hands in a relaxed defense. “Chill, Y/N, it’s okay to like more than one person at once.”

“I don’t like either of them.”

“At all?” Cate quirked an eyebrow.

“No,” I pouted.

Cate looked unimpressed and I felt even more unimpressed since I knew that I liked Marie and Jordan platonically.

“Okay, we’ll save that for later but, I don’t think Jordan would tell you that they would backstab you and they would not think about it. They would do it to other people, but not you.”

“You’re just saying that because they’re your friend and you weren’t there.”

Cate cocked her head to the side. “Think, Y/N, did Jordan really say, ‘I would backstab you if it would save my ass’?”

As I recalled the memory, I slowly rocked back and forth on my heels. “They didn’t say that but, they didn’t answer me when I asked if they would.” “You probably caught them off guard,” Cate reasoned. “I’m sure if you talked to them, things would go okay.”

I hesitated and set my clothes on my bed. “Let’s say that I decided to speak to them, I don’t know what to say. Even if I did, my class tomorrow isn’t with them.

“You’re not going to the Think Brink gala tomorrow night?” Cate asked.

Earlier that day, Mom mentioned something about a gala on the phone but I was only half-listening. In my defense, there was only so much complaining about her clients and Dad that I could stand. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and “Go to Brink gala” was in bright letters on my calendar.

“I guess I am,” I concluded.

“Then, you have some time to figure it out. You might get lucky and not even have to say anything.” I nodded and messed with the charm on my phone. “But what about Marie?”

“You’ll figure that out too. Indira’s taking her to the gala so, you can get both your ‘friends’ back,” Cate said, putting “friends” in air quotes.

“Why did you do it like that? Don’t say it like that.”

“Just because you’re in denial doesn’t mean I am. Think about it, would you be this freaked out if we had a fight?”

The “yes” should have come immediately but it didn’t; it died in my throat, and I couldn’t look at Cate. Why were things different with Marie and Jordan? Why did I stress out about them when I tried to stop thinking about them?

“Can you just make me say the right thing?” I asked.

Cate mulled it over for a moment. “I think it’s best if you do it yourself. If you don’t have a vision about it, something will come to you.”

“Thanks, Cate. If you and Andre need any help snooping----”

“You will be the first person I text,” Cate assured.

“I was going to say that I’ll probably know before you.”

I narrowly avoided the pillow Cate tossed at me and laughed at her effort.

“Maybe you are getting a little too cocky, Y/N.” She stood and walked over to me. “And for the record, I would never betray you in any way, neither would Andre or Jordan. If either of them did, they would have to deal with me.”

“Thanks, I would hug you but I’m still soaking wet.”

“Yeah, that’s smart. I know this might be useless but try not to worry about everything.”

I shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt to try.”

“You’re taking the meds from Indira?”

“Yes, Mom,” I teased.

“Just trying to help.”

Strangely, that was the first night since Luke’s death that I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. The trend was that I would strain myself to have premonitions until I was exhausted and tried again in the morning. For once, sleep found me quickly.

After sitting through a two-hour lecture on trauma’s impact on villains and heroes, I was more than happy to wander back to the Si Chi house and decompress. In a few hours, Talia, Mom’s assistant, would arrive with options for the gala. Then, the glam team would arrive and do their best to ignore Mom while they did their jobs.

I needed all the relaxation I could get.

 As I was mentally reviewing which movies I could watch, my phone kept buzzing in my back pocket. I thought it was another flurry of comments on the TikTok Coco and I made yesterday but it was from a strange number.

XXX-XXX-XXXX: Y/N, pls come 2 my dorm, it’s an emergency.

XXX-XXX-XXXX: Im srry we haven’t talked in a while but it’s important.

I frowned and typed back, ????

XXX-XXX-XXXX: It’s Marie. Emma’s in trouble.

My stomach dropped and I replied, B there soon.

As I raced around other people on campus, my thoughts moved faster at the possibility of what could have been going on with Emma. The last time I had spoken to her was two days ago and she was okay then. If anything, she may have been tense because Marie and I were not speaking but she had not said anything else.

I was halfway to their dorm when I ran into something solid.

“Watch where you’re going, Y/N,” Maverick sneered.

“If you put on some clothes, maybe I’d see you,” I shot back as I continued down the hall.

When I finally got to their dorm, I was panting and could barely knock. Marie pulled the door open, pulled me in, and closed the door behind me.

“Did you sprint here?” she asked.

I nodded. “You said…it was…an….emergency…Emma.”

In the middle of me grabbing my bearings, I noticed something tiny next to one of the supports on Emma’s bed. Slowly, I slid to my knees and crawled over to it. When I realized who it was, a choked gasp escaped my mouth.

“What happened?” I whispered.

“I don’t know. She was like that when I got here and I didn’t know what to do so I called you since you’ve known her the longest,” Marie rambled.

Her words barely registered in my brain as I went to one of Emma’s drawers, grabbed a small set of clothes, wrapped her in it, and carefully set her on her bed. Emma was barely breathing and was ghostly pale.

“Emma, I know you’re probably not going to like this but, you’re going to need to eat something.”

She didn’t reply and for a second, I wondered if she could.

I started rifling through all her stuff until I found a box of crackers. My hands trembled as I broke them into small pieces and kneeled in front of Emma. She never looked at me as she nibbled on each crumb I fed her.

Eventually, she grew back to her normal size. As soon as she was, she pulled her knees to her chest.

“I’m sorry you saw me like that,” she muttered.

Slowly, I sat next to her and it was almost the same way zookeepers treated wild animals. If one moved calmly enough, they would not get attacked. Marie sat on her bed.

“It’s okay, I’m glad we were able to help,” I replied. “What happened?”

Emma sniffed. “I opened up to this girl in my class. We’re scene partners for a project and we were talking, and I guess I felt comfortable enough to tell her about how I get small. I thought it was just between us, but she posted this…this video on YouTube telling the whole world about it.”

“Who’s the girl?” Marie asked.

“How do you get small?” I uttered at the same time.

Emma froze for a moment and looked away from me. “I make myself…sick.”

When she said it, I suddenly remembered all those times she would go to the bathroom and then come out a miniature version of herself. However, all those times, it was for different commercials or other work-related events. Then again, there had to be times when she did it at home or at my house.

How did I never notice? “Emma, I’m so sorry. I wish you would’ve told me sooner,” I said.

Emma turned to me with a glare in her eyes. “Really? How would I work that into a conversation? ‘Hey, Y/N, I’m sorry to interrupt but, I make myself throw up to get small’?”.

“We’re friends, friends tell each other this kind of thing,” I insisted.

Emma scoffed. “Please, like you would get it if I told you. You’re perfect, you always have been. Your face, your hair, your body, your eyes, your life!”

“That’s not fair.”

“Emma, I think you need to get help,” Marie interrupted.

Emma’s gaze flickered to hers and I thought she might set Marie on fire. “I need to get help, that’s rich coming from you. You act like no one can see your scars.”

Marie flinched and her eyes narrowed slightly. “I do that for my powers, that’s different.”

Emma laughed callously. “Please, at least be honest. How about this: I’ll go to therapy when you admit to cutting.”

Emma’s voice had no tone and every word she said was like a hammer slamming into my chest. She wasn’t in the right headspace for any conversation and I kept reminding myself as I stood.

“We should talk later when we’ve all calmed down,” I suggested.

“I don’t want to speak to either of you again,” she hissed.

It took more effort than usual to swallow the lump in my throat as I let myself out of their dorm. Just as I was about to lean against the door and wallow, Marie slipped out behind me and shut the door. I took a step back, barely avoiding a pair of girls rushing past.

“Sorry,” she apologized.

“It’s fine.”

Silence filled the space for a moment, and I had no idea how to fill it. Cate said I would know what to say but I was at a loss.

“I’m sorry about what I said…that day,” Marie delivered gently.

My eyes snapped up at her. “Oh.”

She sighed. “I was just angry, and I thought you were a part of it but, Emma kept saying that you would never do something like that. I just didn’t know how to reach out or say anything.”

I know the feeling.

“I accept your apology but I’m also sorry that no one came back for you. I guess it worked out, though?”

Marie sighed and leaned against her door. “Sort of. The perks are nice and I’m in crim now but I feel like everyone’s looking at me and expects something from me; almost like they’re waiting for me to fail.”

“Really? They had me convinced you’d be the black Starlight,” I teased.

Marie laughed half-heartedly. “I still want to be a hero, though, someone like her people can look up to.”

“Anyone in particular?”

Marie hesitated. “My little sister. We were both obsessed with heroes when we were younger, but I was the one who got Compound V. She always looked up to me and I want to be someone who would make her proud.”

“That’s a really admirable goal,” I complimented.

She smiled softly. “What about you? Shouldn’t you be my competition to be the black Starlight?”

My expression faltered and I looked down at my French acrylics. “No, I don’t think I have the showmanship you do. Besides, my goal isn’t to be in the Seven.”

“Really? What do you want to do?” Marie asked.

“So, I have this four year plan and if I follow the steps I am on to a T, I will graduate with a city contract and be engaged to an eligible supe.”

Usually, when I told someone my four year plan, my chest swelled and my shoulders rolled back unconsciously. This time, it felt like I was a toddler showing my mom a drawing I made in school.

“Is that it?” Marie asked.

“I know it’s more traditional and maybe even a little lame but, it’s what I want,” I maintained.

Marie nodded slowly.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, I just imagined you doing something in, like, criminal AI or stopping criminals from re-offending.”

“Both are great, they’re just not me.”

“Which is fine,” Marie insisted.

She sounded a little too eager but I let it go as we started walking down the hallway.

“What should we do about Emma?” Marie asked.

“I’ve never seen her like that before but she’ll need time to cool off.”

“Sounds good, I just have nowhere to go until the gala tonight.”

“You could come to Si Chi for a bit. I can’t promise they won’t try to initiate you, though.”

Marie laughed. “Me, in a sorority?”

“Hey, we’re getting more black girls this year so you never know!”

“Whatever but, yeah, I’d like to hang out with you…at your house.”

Even though Marie rushed the last part, a smile quirked on the corners of my mouth. It would be nice to have a new friend over and it was even nicer that there was no more tension between us.

“You know, Emma never told us the name of that girl,” Marie pondered once we got outside.

“Oh, that’s easy.” I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my contacts until I reached the right one.

Shelby answered on the first ring. “Y/N, hi!” “Hey, are you on your way to class?” I asked.

“Yeah, if I’m late one more time, Professor Elix is going to make me do an improv one-woman show!” she panted.

“Well, I don’t want to slow you down but, you have class with Emma Meyer, right?”

“Oh yeah, Intro to Stage, why?”

“Cool. She told me her stage partner has an incredible Insta aesthetic, but she never told me her name and I need new inspo.”

“Oh, that’s Justine. I don’t know her last name but I’m sure you’ll find her.”

“Thanks, Shelby. Have fun in class.”

“Thanks!”

I hung up and turned to Marie, whose eyebrows were raised. “What?”

“What was that voice?” Marie asked.

“It was my voice. Haven’t you heard of code-switching?”

“Fine. Did you get the name?”

“Yes, Justine and I’ve met her.”

“What? How?”

“She’s rushing Si Chi.” I couldn’t keep the devilish smile from working its way into my mouth.

“What does that look mean?” Marie asked.

“It means that there are many more perks to being in a top house besides living in it.”

For some reason, everyone thinks that white girls have a monopoly on passive aggression and relational aggression. That was not the case at all; black girls simply are more inclined towards active aggression but we’re capable of both. I proved as much during Brink’s gala.

The ballroom was packed with board members, trustees, alumni, and the wealthiest GOD U students, the latter being my target of interest. They were all easy to approach since I had met them at some function or another.

“Y/N,” Bianca Peterson gushed as she hugged me.

Her Gucci Guilty perfume tickled my nose and I willed myself not to sneeze as I politely pulled away from her. “Bianca, it’s been too long. I think the last time I saw you was at Beta Ro’s Brunch for Boy Scouts.”

Bianca nodded, light auburn curls bouncing around her sculpted features. “Yes, we bonded over jewelry.”

“And you still have fantastic taste,” I mentioned, gesturing to the gold buckle around her wrist.

“Thank you, it was a present from Theo but I gave him a few hints,” she bragged lightly.

“How is rush going?” I asked.

“Pretty well, our pledges are shaping up nicely this year, not that they don’t every year,” she quickly added the last part.

“Of course. Do you have a lot of girls from Counting?”

“We’re interested in a couple, why? Are you trying to poach?”

I shook my head. “Not at all, I just wasn’t sure if you heard what Layla from Zeta Nu discovered.”

Bianca raised a microbladed brow. “No, I don’t think I have.”

I took a deep inhale and slowly shook my head in disbelief. “Oh, well, I should let it come from her then.”

A moment later, Bianca glanced across the room at Layla Ruthers, the president of Zeta Nu, who was smiling politely at a pair of hunched-over old men.

“In case I don’t have a chance to talk to her, what happened?” Bianca asked.

I glanced around us for a moment before leaning closer. “Apparently, a freshman posted a video about another girl’s eating disorder.”

“Really?” Bianca’s eyes widened.

I nodded. “Layla was insulted for the other girl and banned the pledge from rushing Zeta Nu. She even said that no respectable house would accept someone so low-class.”

“Oh,” Bianca uttered.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take up all your time. I should go mingle.”

I made it about two steps before Bianca gently grabbed one of my arms.

“Wait, Y/N. Did Layla say the name of the pledge?”

My eyes wandered around the twinkling lights of the room for a second. “Justine something, I think.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you later.”

“Sure!”

The rest of my conversations followed that pattern. Each girl I spoke to was shocked and horrified by my words. Plus, none of them would dare speak to the other; that would mean another house had better information than them. My final target was easily the most important one: Sydney.

In her ice-blue mermaid dress and intricate updo, she looked more like Cinderella than a gala attendee. She was standing at a table, nodding her head at something a shorter guy was saying.

“Excuse me,” I politely interrupted, “I need to borrow Sydney for a second.”

The guy deflated slightly. “Sure.”

“I’ll see you soon.” Sydney huffed a sigh of relief as soon as we were out of earshot. “Thank you, I don’t know what he was even talking about.”

“Anytime,” I replied.

She snatched a champagne flute from a passing server and downed half of it. “I can’t wait for this night to be over.”

I nodded. “It is morbid despite their attempt to dress it up.”

“Yeah, and my parents won’t stop bugging me about my future. I can only apply to so many internships and not everyone is looking for a telekinetic,” she griped. “Sorry, how are you?”

“I’m alright. Ironically, I think he’d hate the name they picked but I didn’t know him super well,” I admitted.

“Right.”

Here it goes.

“So, I think the event the other day was a success,” I commented.

“Definitely. The house was packed. It’s too bad we can’t accept them all.”

Sydney smiled as she spoke.

“I know. It’s great that there’s so much interest.” I paused for a second. “But, I wanted to tell you that something came up with one of the pledges.”

Sydney gestured for me to continue.

“Even though my social media deep dive on the pledges was thorough, something came up today that I thought you should know when considering the pledges,” I explained.

“Okay.”

“Today, Justine posted a video exposing another girl’s eating disorder. Several of the girls were upset when they saw it.”

“That’s awful,” Sydney responded.

“It’s also so disappointing since I met Justine during that event, and she was saying how women empowerment is important to her. I know that women empowerment is a huge passion for you and a foundation for Si Chi and to imagine a pledge so willing to tear down another woman infiltrating the safe space you building is horrifying.”

Despite the liquor, I could tell Sydney was processing my words quicker than any computer. Her expression shifted from shock to anger to coldness. Then, she finished the last of her champagne and set it on the table closest to us. “Thank you for telling me, Y/N. I’ll see you later.”

As she walked away, I grinned widely at the response. Bid Day was going to be even more fun and interesting than last year. To celebrate, I grabbed myself a flute of champagne and sipped it as I started to wander the room.

“Y/N!”

My body froze at the masculine voice and my mind raced with what to say or do. Finally, I decided to face Jordan. They were in their masculine form and standing at a table by themselves. Though they looked fantastic in their navy suit, they looked like they hadn’t slept in days.

“Hello.”

I practically sang it and prayed for someone to make the floor swallow me.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

“Um, sure.” I walked closer to their table and rested my forearms on it.

 “It’s good to see you,” he started. “Outside of class, I mean.”

“You too.”

Jordan nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s good.” He paused. “I’m sorry about everything.”

I looked up from tapping my nails on the tablecloth. “Wh---”

“Please, let me finish. That day…I don’t know why I didn’t just tell you that I wouldn’t throw you under the bus but I wouldn’t even think about it. How could I do that to my little freshman?”

For the first time ever, my chest warmed at the nickname. However, I tried to bite back the smile that was worming its way onto my face.

I glanced away for a moment, crossing my arms over my purple sleeveless satin gown. “Well, I guess I forgive you,” I playfully grumbled before turning back to him. “But you still did it pretty easily to Marie.”

Jordan’s expression faltered and he sipped some champagne. “Don’t mention her.”

“Why not? She’s my friend and we did a very mean thing,” I argued.

“Look, I protected myself and you that night, I won’t apologize for that. Besides, she’s still here and she’s doing great,” he spat.

“I know you’re pissed about the rankings but, those can change, especially with how hard you work and how powerful you are.”

Jordan scoffed. “That’s how it should work but no one wants to back a bigender Asian.”

His words made me stop for a second. In all the time I knew them, Jordan seemed invincible to punches, laser beams, electric shocks, and words. They made succeeding at Godolkin look so easy but it must have been anything but. Plus, Luke and Brink’s death must have impacted everything else.

“We’ll see about that,” I challenged. “There’s about thirty trustees and every board member in this room. There will have to be a few who will like you.”

Jordan hesitated. “I’m not really in the mood to promote myself.”

“Then let me talk,” I offered.

He eyed me for a while before crossing over to my side of the table and looping one of his arms with mine. “Don’t make me look bad, freshie.”

“I think that’s impossible.”

The first target was easy: a thirtysomething white guy with floppy light brown hair and an oversized gray suit. I focused on him for a moment, gathering as much information as I could.

“Trevor Emerson, GOD U alum and old money beneficiary,” I muttered to Jordan.

“Isn’t he supposed to hate me?” Jordan hissed back.

“He’s overcome by white guilt since his recent discovery that all the black and brown people who built and managed his family’s manor were not salaried employees,” I explained. “He’s dying to look as much of an ally as possible.”

Jordan straightened up. “Good job, freshie.”

“I haven’t even gotten started.” I painted a polite smile on my face. “Mr. Emerson, it’s so nice to meet you, can we bother you for a moment?”

Two guilty and three haughty donors later, Jordan and I found ourselves at a different table. It was the first time that I saw him smile that night.

“You were amazing out there,” Jordan exclaimed.

“Thank you but you also made my job a little easier being talented and whatever,” I joked.

“Seriously.” Jordan grabbed my hand. “You might have saved my ass.”

I tried to ignore the tingle that shot up from my hand into the side of my neck. “It’s okay, I’m happy to help.”

When they announced that the video was about to start Jordan sulked again. “I can’t believe they’re making us sit through this shit.”

“Me neither.” I rest my hand on top of his. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask sooner but, are you okay?”

Jordan laughed humorlessly. “No but schmoozing with you did help a little. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah.”

When we parted our separate ways, I wiped my sweaty palms on my dress skirt and approached my table. Fortunately, Mom and Dad had not burned down the ballroom with their arguing. In fact, when I got to their table, Mom was on her phone and Dad was rhythmically tapping his fingers against the tablecloth, looking anywhere but her.

“Hi, were you bored with me gone?” I asked, giving Dad a side hug.

“Not at all. I met a few board members and sold a few pictures,” he responded.

I nodded and slowly took the middle seat between them. The video was equal parts patronizing and infuriating. However, my parents’ whispers kept me from focusing too much on the video.

“Y/M/N, can you get off the phone for one second? They’re playing the video,” Dad hissed.

“I am about to cut the biggest deal of this quarter. They can send it,” Mom hissed back, waving a manicured hand for emphasis.

“Mom, people are starting to stare,” I quietly interjected.

“Let them stare. This is what’s paying for you to be here.”

“Don’t act like I don’t contribute!” Their words used to make me flinch but I forced myself to sit up straighter and breathe.

“I’m grateful for it, for both of you, really. You both paid to be here and I thought you would not want to miss the man they’re honoring,” I whispered.

Those words made Mom slowly mutter something into the phone before placing it face down on the table and leaning forward. At that same time, they flashed a picture of Brink and me across the screen. He had been meeting with my small group when the photographer appeared.

Dad squeezed an arm around my shoulder and I softly leaned into his touch.

“Thank God you lost that baby fat,” Mom commented.

“Y/M/N,” Dad said quietly.

“You know it’s true, Y/D/N,” Mom hissed back.

Suddenly, Dad’s arm felt like a boa constrictor, and I gracefully slipped out of its grasp. When the video ended, I drank a fresh flute of champagne. The bubbles instantly went to my head as I giggled at Dean Shetty introducing Marie.

She looked really pretty even though she was nervous.

“Do you know her?” Mom asked over the applause.

“We’re friends,” I replied.

“So why is she a guardian and not you?”

“She was more involved in stopping Luke than me,” I lied.

 When Dean Shetty cued everyone to return to socializing, Mom turned to me.

“Your grades are fantastic and your standing in your house is good,” Mom began. “But eligible bachelors will not notice you unless you stand out like her.”

“Y/M/N, leave her alone. Anyone who doesn’t notice Y/N isn’t worthy of being in our family anyway,” Dad defended.

Mom ignored him. “That girl, Marie Moreau, is not your friend, she is your competition. You are in the prime setting to have everything you’ve ever wanted but she could snatch it from you. You’re supposed to be able to see things like this coming, Y/N.”

“I do see things coming and I know Marie wouldn’t do that to me,” I quipped.

At that moment, Mom’s eyes bore so deep into me that I didn’t think that anyone could claw them out. Her eyes looked like they were going to bug out of her head at any moment and I could feel my breathing pick up.

“I’m sorry, it just slipped out,” I promised.

It felt like forever until she leaned back in her seat and grabbed her phone.

“Make sure it doesn’t ‘slip out’ again. Now go socialize.”

“I need a minute, Mom, I’ve been socializing since we got here.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “This again.”

“What?”

“Y/M/N, please.”

“No, no, Y/D/N, she is constantly using, what, anxiety to get out of speaking to people. You are always too soft on her and make me look like the bad guy. I’m the one helping her be normal,” Mom snapped. “Anxiety didn’t exist when we were her age, we just did what we had to do, and look where we are now.”

I wondered if Emma ever felt as small as I did in that moment. Then, I wondered if she ever made herself small to hide from people, even her mom. Wordlessly, I left the table and tried to avoid any cameras as the tears burned in the corners of my eyes.

I tried to take deep breaths to calm my trembling chest and keep my throat busy. My chest shifted from trembling to heavy and I started looking around the room.

“I hear one piano…feel two fingers…smell three different alcohols…and see---”

“Y/N, are you okay?” Cate’s voice broke me out of my rhythm and I glanced to see her sitting with Marie and Jordan, who was in their feminine form.

My chest felt much lighter and I quickly wiped away my tears. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Bullshit,” Jordan called gently.

Cate pulled me into a hug and had me sit between her and Marie. “What happened?”

“My parents, well, my mom mostly. I guess I got too anxious for her, and she yelled at me,” I rambled.

Cate smiled softly. “Then you came at the perfect time. We were just talking about our horrible parents.”

My ears perked up. “Really?”

“Well, mine are dead,” Marie commented.

I turned to her and placed my hands on top of hers. “What? I’m so sorry. How did it…”

“I accidentally killed them with my powers,” Marie explained.

“That must have been horrible.”

Marie barely nodded and I squeezed her hands. “I just told my little brother to go away during a camping trip. He never came back and my mom pretty much locked me away,” Cate confessed. “I was seven.”

 “What?” I whispered.

“I killed my grandpa with my powers,” Jordan interjected.

We all turned to her and I cocked my head to the side.

“No, you didn’t,” Cate countered.

Jordan smiled. “You’re right, I was feeling left out.”

I didn’t think that I could laugh the way I did but it felt so nice. At least I had friends again.

When I started sipping on the whiskey Cate stole, I saw a brief image flash before my eyes. There was a guy with curly brown hair covered in dirt running away from several bloody bodies. He paused for a moment and opened his hand, revealing a tiny sleeping Emma. When the vision left, Andre was standing in front of us.

“Seriously?” I complained before he even spoke.

[queenofcoquette]

anti-aging: the good and the bad

not to be all “we live in a society” but i’ve noticed that on social media at least, there’s horrible discourse about anti-aging, pushed by beauty companies that pressure people into botox, fixating on their apperance. etc. so i want to talk about the good and the bad- agingin healthily vs. being superficial.

anti aging- the good:

good mobility/flexibility. a lot of older people get injuries due to their lack of mobility and flexibility. as we age we naturally lose these skills, but by working out and staying consistent we can ensure that we’re strong even when we’re older.

healthy diet. younger people usually don’t think too much about their diet, since our bodies just kinda take care of themselves most of the time. but for an older person an unhealthy diet can lead to a whole lot of problems, so it’s important to invest in a good diet that keeps you healthy and happy.

healthy lifestyle. staying active now and when we’re older is another way to stay young, mentally and physically. having good hygeine, having hobbies, things like that. take care of your body, not just for the sake of looking good, but for the sake of feeling good.

staying mentally sharp. another factor to anti-aging is constantly learning. keeping an open mind and being fascinated by things. continuing to learn instead of being stuck on the past.

living life to the fullest. life shouldn’t stop when you turn 60 or whatever. my grandma’s sister is one of the strongest people i know. she lost her son and her husband yet even in her late 70s she volunteers, she went to Hawaii. her life is still fun and she’s surrounded by people she loves!

anti aging- the bad:

fixating on wrinkles. having good skincare and sun protection is important for the health of our skin, but fixating on not having wrinkles can be damaging. certain skin conditions can lead to getting wrinkles younger, or just if your skin is drier or oilier. i’m tired of seeing influencers pushing ‘anti wrinkle straws’ or telling people to smile less. its dumb- we’re all gonna get wrinkles.

fixating on a youthful appearance. we only have a bit of control over how “youthful” you look. like if you have a more angular face and dry skin, you’ll look less youthful then someone with a rounder face and oily skin. there’s no way to control that, so who cares?

what we can do:

stop giving in to these toxic ideas. i see so many girls on TikTok freaking out about wrinkles and all those things. i was scared a while ago cuz when i smile i have tiny lines on the corner of my eye- but i realized everyone my age has those! stop engaging in toxic content.

health over beauty. focus on longevity- working out to be strong in the future, eating good to feel good when we’re older. when you prioritize being healthy you’ll automatically look younger. so you’ll look and feel good- it’s a win win!

keep learning. even when we get older we should always prioritize learning new things and broadening our mind. my grandpa is 83 but he’s still open-minded, he’s willing to hear different political points and that keeps him young.

reflecting. age only brings wisdom if you’re willing to learn and reflect. 

remember that life never loses meaning as old as we are. the people who think life stops being fun when you’re 40 are the people who act old. plenty of people can be old and have fun. i saw a 97ish year old guy who goes to the gym everyday, a 93 year old lady on Instagram celebrating pride and going to parties with her friends. life only stops being fun when we close off our minds.

conclusion:

instead of fearing what we’ll look like in 60 years, let’s think about how we can live our best life 60 years from now. anti-aging should be about health, to live life to the fullest when we’re older, instead of worrying about little things that don’t matter. life is kinda short, so we should make the most of it, and ensure that we can always have fun. we shouldn’t spend our whole lives worrying about wrinkles or living in the delusion that life stops being fun with age. living long is a blessing that we should all use to the best of our ability. life only stops being good when you give up.

[fillingthescrapbook]

Let's Talk About: Fantasy High Junior Year and Stress Tested

Brennan Lee Mulligan is an evil son of a genius.

I have been waiting for this episode forever--like, a whole week--and it did not disappoint. Starting with a return to assembly. Confirming the conspiracy that the Rat Grinders were setting them up.

Side note: I really do think the Rat Grinders are working for something or someone who is (or who are) also meddling with Interim Emergency Back-Up Principal Grix.

The mandatory drug testing at school that IMMEDIATELY netted the kid who called out Aguefort Academy becoming a police state in freshman year was a deliberate choice that I feel like Brennan, knowing how easily distracted his Intrepid Heroes can be, planted for the viewers to pick up on. And unleashing this after a "speech" from Agent Clark that ended with an extra distracting "until doppelgangers burn your nest!"? Yeah, I smell Brennanigans.

Quick break: I just want to say that Murph plays Riz's paranoia so well. Ally's quick moves to shenanigans is on another level. And Zac immediately taking a stress token for Gorgug feels extremely correct. That said, I feel like there should be a mechanic where Gorgug gets stressed so much that he channels the tokens into a rage that impresses Porter.

Also: the rolling graphics on the left side of the screen, for the tracks that our intrepid heroes are rolling for, look so cool. The stress levels on the right look great too, but they are stressing me out.

Now; I am really liking Yolanda Badgood, the cleric professor. I am not liking, however, the fact that Brennan is making her so likeable. And so friendly. And so helpful. Because I am now fearing for her life.

Emily's bits about Fig not knowing where to go rings differently for me, having seen the pre-season interview where she admitted that she wanted to play a new character. That she wanted to keep the happy ending Fig already got in Sophomore Year. I have to confess: I also actually really like this new aimless track for Fig, and it's showing in Emily's gameplay how she is also realizing new things about her character as Brennan showers her with more choices to make.

The one bad thing about the downtime episode, in my opinion, is that the time we spend with each character feels so little. Especially with how much time is passing in game time. I wanted to see more of Adaine's relationship with her sister, and maybe see a friendship blossom with Oishyn. But Siobhan is, rightfully, concerned about Adaine's finances so she has to prioritize her job and her academics. I needed Gorgug and Riz to get more updates about Frosty Fair before it happened--but, obviously, the had personal stuff they needed to deal with first…and Frosty Fair is already happening next episode--

Honestly: Brennan did a wonderful job with the down times for everyone. And every member of the Intrepid Heroes utilized their down time well.

I just wanted more because I'm very greedy and I love these characters to bits.

Speaking of bits:

With two Nat20s in a row, I would say that Gorgug really is the greatest wizard of our time.

"Get your best pair of Badidas and we'll see what that body does" is an s-tier Brennan-liner.

Riz using the celestial spy stuff he got from his dad is AMAZING.

And Brennan is enjoying handing out the stress tokens too much. Zacky even points it out.

Can't wait for next week!

[xoxoskai]

THE WHITE MASK THEORY;

PART TWO

Before I go into detail about Ava and her relationships with the Heathens, I want to clarify a few things.

I wasn't aware that Rina had confirmed that we haven't met WM yet. A lot of you pointed it out in the previous post and that's how I found out. However, I think it's even more anti-climactic if it's someone we haven't met so far to be WM because there will be no excitement involved in the grand reveal. A five-book buildup for it to be someone completely new is not dramatic or shocking at all. It'll be like the no-name nanny being the villain in God of Ruin. Most people, me included, were dumbfounded at the reveal and of course, Maya's ridiculous fall from grace.

How are you going to look at normal sibling jealousy and kidnap the sister because you thought it would do justice to the other one? You're telling me the Bratva with Kyle-fricking-Hunter, Rai-mother-Sokolov, Adrian-Daddy-Volkov as the Obschak and Kirill-dilf-Morozov as the Pakhan couldn't track down the silly nanny who kidnapped a mafia princess for shits and giggles? That they haven't been able to for the past decade? Make it make sense.

It would have made a lot more sense for it to be the Irish mafia back for more revenge.

Now, Eli King.

I swear, his character is all kinds of perfectly mysterious, makes him such an enigma.

Eli being awol most of the time can perhaps make him WM. Infact, him telling Killian "It's nothing personal, family business" before they waterboarded him could imply a lot more.

(Plus, Eli was the one carrying Niko out when he stabbed himself to save Jeremy and thus, missed Creigh getting shot.)

However, this also shows that Eli prioritizes his family over a game of tag with mafia heirs and the Heathens trying to off Creighton for being with Annika is not something he would let slide. Maybe he is closer to them than he lets on but Eli participating in the initiation feels like a far cry. Especially because Creigh has specifically mentioned that Eli is more of a strategist type, not known to use his fists to absolutely destroy someone.

Eli having his own inside contacts feels like a given. And I do believe it's a huge give-and-take type of scenario. Eli, heir to the King Empire, I'm sure realizes the importance of having connections. Especially connections with the mafia. I'm guessing his point of contact would be Killian in that scenario.

Interestingly, someone I accidentally left out in my observations is Kayden.

For everyone who doesn't know who Kayden is, he made his first appearance in God of Ruin and is confirmed to be Gareth Carson's love interest.

In my defense, we haven't seen a lot of him at all. But is he a viable candidate? Absolutely. Would I be disappointed to see him as WM? Absolutely not.

What, however, will disappoint me is that Gareth Carson being the green mask and Kayden being the WM, DO NOT GET A BOOK. AND THAT IS TOO CRUEL. AN MLM, PROFESSOR X STUDENT WHERE THEY ARE BOTH PARTAKING IN THE INITIATION FOR WHATEVER GOD-FORSAKEN REASON AND IT BEING THE PEAK OF FORBIDDEN ROMANCE IS,

You guessed it,

Not getting a book.

This is the exact same reason why I ruled out Remi Astor as well. If WM is simply meant to be a side character, why would they be such an enigma? Why is there not a book?

Kayden also checks a lot of the WM boxes of

Being leaner than the rest, hello he's a professor. He's not going to be fighting for his life every day in the mafia (or he might, we don't know his origins)

Cherry would not be able to seduce him. Kayden plays for the same team so, yes, it makes sense.

In the epilogue of God of Wrath, we see Jeremy proposing an initiation where they chase a pre-decided target only. We know why Nikolai, Killian and Jeremy would appreciate it, Gareth was not having it, but WM was. (It feels like repetition but Gods, the hatecrime it is to not have their book).

But the prospect of the Heathens allowing a professor at their university into the mix seems a little far-fetched. Not to mention, I think it was clearly stated that Kayden had arrived at Brighton recently and there was no mention anywhere of WM being a recent member.

Now, Ava Nash.

Remember I said, "Eli realizes the importance of having connections with the mafia"? That it's a give and take? If Ava Nash is really WM,

Do we really believe Eli wouldn't know?

Do we really believe he would not be keeping tabs on her?

Now, the million-dollar question is - what do the Heathens gain from forming an alliance, as discreet as it is, with Eli King?

The most I can think of is, Brighton is basically RES' turf. The Heathens are far from their powerful parents and between the mafia and the powerful families of London, The Kings, The Nashs, The Knights and The Astors hold a lot more power and influence. At some point, I'm sure they would call in a favor when the times comes for it, to wipe out the Irish mafia's main base or whatever it is these people want to do.

Would Eli really not keep tabs on Ava after two of her closest friends start dating two leaders of the Heathens?

Between all the Heathens and Ava, I think she has the most complicated and interesting relationship with Jeremy.

"Say the word and I'll bring him to you?" Bestie hasn't exchanged a single word with that man as far as we know.

"When she's not around?" What context and scenario would lead Jeremy to meet Ava when Cecily isn't around? ("Break Ava"? Bro we know you're a mafia prince but the little princeling of the King household would uproot your family if you tried. )

Jeremy, as the leader, obviously knows who the WM is.

The scene is God of Wrath where Cecily is following Ava outside before encountering Jeremy is single-handedly carrying my theory.

-> Ava, drunk, still seemed to know her way around the forest behind the Heathens mansion despite only exploring it once with Cecily and Annika (God of Pain, Chapter 5)

-> Jeremy, when spotted at the beginning, is wearing a jacket that he's discarded by the time he finally encounters Cecily. Unless my man wants to flex his Russian roots and channel his inner Queen of Arendelle, it does not make sense for him to lose his jacket when stepping out of the house.

-> Cecily is tracking Ava using an app on her phone when she suddenly changes directions back towards the house at an alarming speed that indicates she was on the back of a motorbike.

This brings me to my theory that-

It is not surprising that Jeremy was out of the house as soon as Cecily was. Which means, he'd have gone ahead and intercepted Ava first to send her back. His jacket is missing cuz, she was wearing a short skirt and was going back on a motorbike, so she needed coverage.

Yes, shocker that Jeremy is being civil to her, but I need to remind you this is much earlier than him falling for Cecily + the entire AnniCreigh shitshow. So, if Ava is really WM, to some extent, he was probably civil with her.

Either Ava went back with a bodyguard or someone else with connections to the mafia (*cough* Heir of the King Empire *cough*) was informed and came to pick her up.

The Heathens would gladly form an alliance with Eli just for inside intel about their girls all the time and vice versa if Ava really is WM.

Interestingly, according to the timeline, this is also the part where in God of Pain, Creighton tells Eli that if he's so bored, he should go to Ava and gets "If I go to her, I'll kill her" in response.

Is this because he found her wandering by herself through the forest at midnight?

Is this because she refuses to disassociate with the Heathens?

Theories, theories, everywhere.

Now, if Ava is really WM, why would Jeremy make her cry?

Because Ava made Annika cry, It's that simple.

When I tell you it's only Landon King and Killian Carson who don't care about their siblings, I mean it. Jeremy and Annika are obviously close enough to want to die for one another and if someone comes up to your sibling and calls them a murderer after they shoot someone to protect you, yeah, I'd have a vendetta against that person too, part of my cult or not.

Jeremy obviously hated Cecily at some point for it too. At how easily they all abandoned Annika and while I understand that she was new to their group as compared to Creighton who they've known their whole lives, Ava might have taken it too far by calling Annika a murderer, something Jeremy obviously heard of.

In Ava's defense, they probably felt guilty for ever including Annika in their group and causing the chain reaction of Creighton falling for her because it led to him being in a coma.

Naturally, Jeremy doesn't care about that. Ava name-calling Anni became personal to him because 1, she's his baby sister and 2, Annika was in that predicament cuz she shot Creigh for him.

At the same time, I was really mad at Cecily for not defending her childhood best friend because whatever happened to sisters before misters? Sometimes the girls only seem like friends to me for the sake of the plot considering how little they know of each other.

In God of Malice, when Killian swaps in for Nikolai and is about to go against Creighton, who is giving Glyndon a run-down about the Heathens?

Go ahead and take a guess.

How, and I can't say this enough, does she know so much in excruciating detail about the Heathens when she's never interacted with them, and they are from a completely different university? Everyone always asks her how she knows so much, and she deflects with -You have to be living under a rock to not know- when the actual situation is that no one but Ava knows so much.

You seriously can't believe the Heathens are observant to the point of knowing every little, tiny detail about their girlfriends, quirks only a childhood friend would know?

And no, Eli King, close ally or not, would not divulge all this freely. You know who would? Someone who wants to see their girlfriends get laid and happy.

I think the most fascinating thing about Ava being the WM is that I can't, frankly, think of a single reason why she would be a part of the Heathens except that she thrives on chaos (hello daughter of Cole Nash).

But it is entirely plausible that if the Heathens send initiation invites to the Elites who never attend it, chances of Ava swiping the QR code thru someone's phone is very likely.

What does Ava bring to the Heathens?

Honestly? No idea. If it was in exchange for being close to their respective s/o, it'd make sense, but WM is already part of the initiation way before God of Malice.

Did they have a particular initiation to recruit a fifth member for their close circle? Probably. Were they looking for someone who'd be willing to betray the Elites? Maybe. If Landon and Ava have a completely different type of understanding between them, do we really believe Landon to be above using Ava to spy for the Heathens? If no, why the Heathens would still allow her among them remains a mystery. Did they not know who she was related to? Did she pass the initiation with flying colors and show potential to be a part of the inner circle?

(Eli is family man first, which is why I can't see him being a Heathen)

What I do know is that Ava feels lonely among her own circle. With all her friends now spending more time with their boyfriends, she feels alone (God bless Remi, he's going to be such a good brother-in-law after being an already awesome friend to her).

I also believe that if Ava would tell anyone she was part of the Heathens, it'd be Remi. They are a lot closer than they portray.

You know who else was shit at keeping secrets, was out-going, definitely the social butterfly of the group but had a truckload of demons in their closet? Ronan Astor.

This is why, I refuse to underestimate Ava. "Disappears like a ghost" is a very interesting choice of words.

Besides, if she's really WM, she's so unserious.

Also, possible foreshadowing?

Anyways, considering Ava is also pretty close to Brandon, we'll be seeing a lot of her in God of Fury which will finally reveal who WM is. She has no interactions so far with Nikolai or Gareth for me to deduce anything between them so 6th December, we'll find out!

For now, and perhaps always (I'll reject canon I don't care) my suspect is Ava, who's yours?

[fbfh]

Writing quick drabbles about the obscure blorbos I kept forgetting to write about 2/4

Tw for mentions of pregnancy/pregnant reader, also afab reader

got mega brain rot about Latrelle from on my block literally out of nowhere for like two days straight so uh. specifically dad!latrelle. you've had an on and off relationship for years, snce you were teens. you've gotten him out of trouble more times than either of you could count, and everytime he asks you why you keep sticng your neck out for him, you tell him the same thing. I care about you. You don't deserve that. I don't want bad things to happen to you. it cuts him to the quick every time. he thinks you're the best thing to happen to him, and even through your rough patches, he doesn't want to lose you, doesn't want you to be with anyone else. so you keep finding your way back to each other. you think it's over for good when you move away for college, until one day he shows up on your doorstep. he tried to live withuot you, he really did, but he can't. he tried to move on, he dated around and bounced from hookup to hookup but each time it only confirmed that he wants you. you got pregnant with your first child not long after, and had your second after you graduated. The girls have your attitude and their dad's smile, and you both love them more than you knew was possible. when you were pregnant with your first, you had a really serious conversation with Latrelle about how you wanted to prioritize being able to parent your kid together over anything else, especially after seeing how much damage having inconsistent or unharmonious parents can cause. You've seen it in your friends, in Latrelle, maybe even in yourself. Because of that you insist you shouldn't pursue a relationship with each other, you shouldn't take that risk when you've been so on and off in the past. Kids need consistency. Latrelle respects that, he respects every boundary you set, but that doesn't mean he's ever stopped loving you or is ever going to. He doesn't even have to say it, you can see it on his face all the time. Your daughters third birthday is when you finally crack, falling into his arms after he rescues you from your insane extended family and protects your daughter from overhearing your grandmother say some really unkind things about you. He’s such an amazing dad to your little girl, she looks up to him so much and he deserves every bit of it. You think you might be able to move on from your night together, you might be able to ignore the way his gaze lingers, the way everything down to his body language tells you he needs you, he desires you more than anything. When you find out you're pregnant again, it feels like the biggest most obvious sign you've ever gotten. You had been safe, you had been on birth control both times you got pregnant, and you realize you can't fight your feelings anymore. You told Latrelle you didn't want him to be with anyone else when you first got together, and he dropped everyone else he'd been talking to without a second thought. You told him kids need consistency, and he’s been consistent, showing up for everything, reading bedtime stories, picking her up from daycare, doing her hair and painting her nails and having tea parties. Your friends have been pushing you together since they met him, telling you if he wanted to he would, and Latrelle does. All of this culminates into you texting him to come over, that you need to talk. Once your daughter is in bed and asleep, you have one of the most important conversations of both your lives. You tell him there are three things you need to tell him: your sink is leaking again, you're pregnant again, and you think you're in love with him again. By morning, your sink is fixed, and your daughter is over the moon to find out that she's getting a sister and both parents permanently under one roof for Christmas.

[woodenfawn]

Rewatching Re:Zero again, for various reasons, and I really want to take a closer look at it because it's been stuck in my head for such a long time. (It's actually the first scene I ever watched!)

Going back to the Rem Infodump, well- this is part of the reason I think Rem's definitely not stopping her character development. From the beginning, we get the message from this story that self sacrifice without any reward is not something someone should be satisfied with.

And this is extremely interesting because of what we learn later on- that despite all the physical pain, Ram was relieved that her horn broke. She didn't regret it, and only Rem was hurt by it emotionally.

I wonder if she ever properly talked to Rem about it? I wonder if she knew how to do that. I wonder if Rem ever knew how it felt to hold the pressure the clan was putting on her sister...

Ram's only guilt here comes from how it hurt Rem.

And then Ram asks Subaru who he'd prefer to be friends with, and I realized something pretty interesting.

These describe each of the twins, but they also describe Subaru himself. Both, together. Those two things add up to a large part of his internal conflict, and are made difficult by the fact that they contrast each other so much.

Because Subaru cannot just save everyone easily, because he's just a normal kid who was thrown into situations far beyond his abilities, he has to learn to love himself while dealing with both of these issues simultaneously. Letting go of one of these flaws (as he sees it) means completely and shamelessly embracing the other. If he refuses help, the only way he can be strong is to sacrifice himself. If he prioritizes himself, then he'll only ever be able to take from those he cares about.

I love how the story doesn't give him the option to become stronger, either. Like- he has Guiltywhip, he has Beatrice, he has Witch Authorities, but he's not the Isekai Protagonist he'd hoped he could be. He can't be Reinhardt (though... I don't know if he would want to be. That comes with its own rabbit hole, doesn't it?).

Rem and Ram each are like two mirrors of different parts of him, and they each have dynamics with each other that play on these connections.

Rem and Ram each embody different parts of the message of Re:Zero and I think that is so cool. All of them do, but the way this is presented just. I love it.

I don't mean to always talk about Subaru, I swear... I'm just in love with his character... Subaru's got such good dynamics with the whole cast,,,

I wish this conversation was in the final timeline, or that Subaru recreated it somehow... got the message across... man

Dear Diary, today I thought about Re:Zero again

also can we talk about how there's little trinkets and items that represent the main cast's personalities? Like, the spoon and the quill represent Rem and Ram in this story, the flower pin that Emilia gets from the little girl is like... the proof of her kindness, and the 10 yen coin represents subaru's brand of kindness- from the very beginning of the story. as well as the key from the elior forest being another one of emilia's, which has a similar diamond shaped gem to the quill and spoon. The only one of the main cast I can't pin down is beatrice... her book? her crown? I'm not sure. I hope we see Subaru's Beatrice diary in the next season!!

[masterjedilenawrites]

So I've had this headcanon for a while but haven't had the chance to work it into any fics yet. And with TBB Season 3 coming out, it's kind sorta a predication I have now...

I think Crosshair will be the last man standing. We were made to believe he was the first to go in the first season. But I think our expectations will be subverted. I think Tech was actually the first domino to fall, and the rest will go one by one until it's only Crosshair left to take care of Omega.

I'm only like 42% sure that could actually happen. I do think a lot has gone in to Hunter and Omega's relationship so it's more probable the two of them will survive and go into hiding for the rest of the Empire's days -- Hunter seems more willing and capable of settling down, I don't see Wrecker or Echo being able to do that (and there'd always be an open door for Omega to show up as a cameo in future stories since she won't age as quickly).

Orrr there will be a really emotional goodbye moment between the two of them after Hunter sacrifices himself or something. I doubt the show runners would leave Omega all on her own in the end, so that's where my Crosshair theory comes in. They didn't have a chance at a relationship, so being the last two would give them that. And it would just be a good story in my opinion (Cross goes from clinging to the Empire because he's terrified of not having a purpose, to laying low and raising a little sister/prioritizing family?)(but maaaybe sneaking off to do mercenary work with Omega as a protégé lol)

Regardless of whether that happens in canon, I really really like the idea and will continue to try to fit it into one of my own stories wherever possible. Anyway, just wanted to share while everyone's got their minds on the next season coming up :))

[knjbrin]

Introduce your ocs to me, im new :3

Oh HIIIII omg Let me start okay so These are all Ocs for my Comic Broken Bottlez;

*This is Willow they go by She/They Pronouns and is the main character and lead singer and guitarist of the band

Her interests consist of reading Books on The history of rock music and Practicing guitar. She takes writing music and keeping the band together very seriously. When she’s not doing any of that she’s Exercising or working part time at Vera’s Bar.

*Then there’s Keeoni She’s 24 and goes by She/Her pronouns and is the second main character. She’s a Journalist for a Magazine that features Rock bands and all things Alternative.

A social Butterfly Keeoni loves to be on the scene whenever there’s a concert, a party, or an event that needs her she’ll be there.

Her interests consist of Learning about bands and the history of Alternative music because her father used to be the lead singer of a Famous band. When she’s not doing that she’s Volunteering at Libraries reading to children or tutoring students. She loves Fashion and Wants to start a blog about Fashion trends in the scene. She’s new to town and Finds herself Getting much more personal with Lead singer of Broken Bottlez

*Then there’s Elizabelle who’s sort of the main Antagonist of the comic. She’s 25 and goes by She/Her pronouns and is an Ex member of Broken Bottlez along with Being Willows Ex.

An Upcoming Model and Fashion Influencer Elizabelle is A Social Butterfly she thrives in the Social Scene and will do anything to Stay in it.

Her interests consist of Shopping, Blogging, and Socializing with People of her Social Status and going to Parties to mingle with the VIP there. Outside of that Eliza struggles with her self image of being Apart of a society that looks at her like another Bimbo Woman who just wants to be Famous.

*Then there’s Vera The best friend of Willow and sort of the older sister of the bandShes 25 and goes by She/Her pronouns and takes on more of a Manager role for the band By finding gigs, writing songs, managing tours and interviews etc.

She owns a Goth Bar and Considers herself an Ambivert. Blunt and Straightforward when it comes to the greater good of her friends and the band she’s taken on a Sisterly role to Willow, Ash, and Karissa.

Her interests consist of supporting her community and giving her people a space where they can be themselves and still feel safe and comfortable. She can be sarcastic at times and a little harsh with her honesty but has the greater good of her friends in her heart.

*Then there’s Karissa Lead Bassist and Sub Vocalist of Broken Bottlez She’s 22 and goes by She/Her pronouns and is Willows younger Cousin Karissa is the heart of the band She always knows how to lift everyone’s spirits whenever things seem to be going wrong.

She’s an Extrovert and loves to be around like minded people. She’s very protective of her friends Especially Ash and Willow. She can tell what a persons feeling just off of one look and tends to be the shoulder her friends can lean on.

Her interests consist of making her own Clothes and designing outfits for the band to wear. When she’s not doing that she’s Practicing Bass and helping out at her mother’s Bakery or Helping Vera manage the Band. She also may or may not have a teeeeny tiny crush on Ash.

*And finally There’s Ashton “Ash” for short. Lead Drummer of the bandThey’re 23 and go by They/Them pronouns and is Willows Best Friend

Introverted by choice Ash likes to keep their public image simple: Cold and Mysterious. Buuut in reality they’re actually An open book and a very loyal and kindhearted Individual to those they are close to. They just really prioritize privacy. Tends to get overwhelmed when at the center of social scenes so Prefers Observing and listening.

Their interests consist of Playing and Practicing The drums. Are they never not playing the drums? Outside of that They Help run their family’s Record store With their Oldest brother and going to quiet places like parks, libraries, and Art galleries. Loves to hangout at Vera’s Bar tends to be the one Social setting they thrive in.

And that’s it pretty much! I’m still working on some things and getting character sheets out but Welcome to my Weird little Sapphic Comicverse 😭❤️❤️❤️

[bonniesbowtie]

Secret? - Schmelly Fanfic (2/?)

“Mike, I forgot to ask you but I need to buy glue and cardboard for my Science class…” — Abby asks as she drags an unicorn plushie through the corridor, half-asleep at 8am, yawning as she realizes that Mike wasn’t alone in the couch, in fact, he was sleeping with his fingers intertwined Vanessa’s hair.

None of them were expecting this appearance, but time didn’t seem to pass when they were together, and they had never been this close. This time, they both woke up at the same time they heard Abby’s voice; their bodies could feel it was already awakening time, so it didn’t take much for them to process what they had just heard.

“Hi, Abby”, Vanessa said as she smiled at her. Mike’s brain was still on loading screen.

“…why were you hugging each other?”

“Good morning, A-Abs, do you need somet—“ Mike tries to quickly undo his arm-tie around Vanessa’s shoulders, in vain. “…you guys are acting like boyfriend and girlfriend. EW” — Abby says as she pretends to be grossed out.

“What did you say about something class something? Listen, I’ll get you everything you need but you didn’t need to wake me up to that…” he says as he yawns, kind of blushed because of what his sister just asked, and regretting not had been faster “…and we just ended up sleeping here, nothing like what you’re thinking. Don’t do that, Abby, it’s rude. Right, Vanessa?”

“We’ll help you as soon as we have breakfast, okay, dear?” Vanessa completely ignores Mike’s try at defending themselves, as if the thought of them being, in fact, a couple, wouldn’t bother her at all. “Come join us, Mr Unicorn is also invited” — says the officer as she winks discreetly at Michael, that reciprocates by smiling, a little shy.

“Okay, thank you. But it’s actually MISS Unicorn, and her name is Rainbow.” Abby jumps at the couch, accidentally stepping on her brother’s leg, which leaves to an “ABBY, MY LEG OUCH”. Although it kind of hurts at the moment, Mike jokes: “We don’t need another injured person, Abby, or are you gonna take care of me if you hurt my leg??”. All of them laugh. Vanessa even had forgot about her sore stomach. Mike had been such a nurse to her; he would never forget the pill time or to change the band aids. He had to learn how to take care of her sister since their parents passing, so he was surprisingly good at first aids and stuff, he even had a little medicine box in case they ever needed something.

They were always used to running short on money, but health is something that Mike would always prioritize, especially if it was regarding to his sister’s. He’s the type of person that would stay with a broken arm, but if Abby papercut her finger, he would come back from work just to make sure she was safe. He promised himself he would pay all the attention that he didn’t on the day Garrett was took. He blammed himself everyday for it and, deep down, he knew everyone blammed himself, including his parents and family, although they’d deny if asked about it.

And with Vanessa, it wouldn’t be different. He didn’t have any relatives besides Abby, so she literally is his family. And now, Vanessa too. At least, while she’d stay in his house, he’d consider her as a responsibility of his. But he didn’t like to consider a future where she just leaves. Now that William is gone, Vanessa’s situation is very similar to Mike’s, except that she doesn’t have even a little sibling. It’s just her, herself, and she. Surely she had a comfortable life because of her job, but you could say that the only stable aspect was the financial. She’s just as traumatized as Mike is, or even more.

[•••]

After around 30 minutes of family cuddling, they decide it’s breakfast time. Mike’s frying eggs and bacon while listening to the radio; music is one of the few pleasures he allows himself to have. He’s more of a rock guy, but in general enjoys all kind of songs. Even pop, although it’s only when he’s with Abby.

“Thriller” by Michael Jackson starts playing on the radio. Vanessa, which is at the table with Abby, says she loves this song — it reminds of when she was a little kid and would listen to it with her father, albeit she doesn’t mention this part. William might be a serial killer, and a monster, but he’s a man of culture. “The music video gives me chills, but the song is pretty fun” Abby says as she trembles her hands to indicate fear. “…did you know my brother knows some of the choreography??” she tickles to him, that responds with “Yes, but don’t mention it” afraid Abby might ask him to demonstrate it

“Oh my God. This one I would pay to see!” Vanessa declares, unbelieving. “By the way, I might have forgotten a lot of things but I still remember very clearly that you owe me a dance, Mr Schimdt” she says in a kind of flirty but also oblivious way. She knows Mike knows what she’s talking about, and that by referring to him like that, he would feel things.

“Dance! Dance! Dance!” — Abby starts shouting in a rhythm contagious enough to make Vanessa join her. “HA. HA. HA. Nice try, not today though. So you two decided to team up against me? I guess I’ll just have to bring Cassidy here so we can have a fair girl-woman and boy-man competition, because you’re clearly praying for my downfall” he says as he points two fingers at his own eyes and then at them, as in a “I’m watching out” way.

Mike finishes preparing the food, and is now serving his sister and his… his what? Colleague? Roommate? Friend? Were they ever friends? Anyway, he displays three plates with two eggs and one piece of bacon each, in a way that resembles a smiley face. “Besides your cooperation to embarass me, that’s how you two make me feel.” he says gently. “Aww”, say Vanessa and Abby at the same time, but the woman completes with “That’s also how you make us feel, Mike. Thank you for everything.”

“About the cardboard thing, Abby, do you really need it for today or is it okay if we buy it tomorrow?” — suddenly Vanessa reminds of what woke them up this morning.

“Today we’re going to watch a movie at school, so it’s ok if we buy it tomorrow, Nessa. I hope we watch Shrek, it’s my favorite movie” — Abby responds. She really likes Shrek, she has watched it over 10 times and never gets tired of it. At this point, Mike’s even memorized half the dialogues.

“That’s great, so what about we give your brother some peace of mind and we go to the store on our own? We can have a girls-only shopping!”

“Yes!!! I’m in” — the little girl isn’t used to going out with anyone that isn’t Mike, and she kind of misses having a mother figure. Of course she was going to accept it.

“That sounds great, I’ll go to the laundromat while you two have fun, just don’t gossip about me, okay?” — although Mike enjoys taking care of Vanessa, he was really needing some time alone, for himself and his thoughts. Socializing can be rather tiring sometimes, especially for him; he’s not very used to it, since he doesn’t have many friends and people are usually rude to him. Few are the people that he actually enjoys spending time with. And they were going stationery shopping together the next day.

“Then you’d be taking the best part away from us” — Vanessa says, trying to provoke him. She loved to do that, and he’d never be actually bothered by it. Both of them liked the tension when they did this, although Mike rarely was the one to start it.

“Don’t worry, Mike. I won’t tell her your secret.” — Abby joins Vanessa. “Secret? There’s a secret? Hmmm… Now that you’ve started, Abby, you’re gonna have to say it, but I can wait till tomorrow” it interests Vanessa, but deep down she’s just playing along to see Mike’s reaction.

“Abby. Don’t make things up.” — he does have secrets, but none of them was once shared with his sister. There are some things, most of the things, by the way, that he keeps to himself. So his sister was likely joking, but it worries him a little. What was she up to?

Hey, guys! This is the chapter 2. You can find the first chapter here: https://www.tumblr.com/bonniesbowtie/734596972693061632/just-stop-talking-you-silly-chapter-1

[chaikachi]

Speaking about tension and conflict to build romance:

Bumbleby's conflict was Adam stalking Blake,and Yang upset by her leaving because Blake was scared,but gradually more relieved as she proved that she would always stayed by her side and fight together

Renora's conflict was Ren being stubborn and almost risking his life to a grimm that killed both his parents and Nora stopping him,leading them to a better strategy attack

~

We already saw Oscar suggesting Ruby to tell Ironwood the truth,maybe Oscar will struggle to 'share her burden' because she's like her sister and doesn't like being vulnerable? Or maybe it will be about the merge and we'll have a parallel to Blake in V1 talking about "the man with two souls fighting for control" ?

Of the main three ships, they all had a big tension and conflict leading up to V8, and then had a secondary one just by virtue of the separation in Atlas.

Yes BB's conflict was Adam plus Blake running away while Renora's was Ren's tunnel vision in v4... but then in V8 Yang is worried that Blake thinks less of her for prioritizing Mantle over Amity. And Ren and Nora are having a conflict of ideals AND miscommunication.

For Rosegarden, their conflict started with not agreeing on how to handle Ironwood and then became stretched out by ending up on opposite teams while Atlas was falling. The difference between RG and the other ships is that eVERYONE ELSE GOT TO STAY REUNITED AT THE END OF V8, BUT RG DIDN'T. 😭😭😭

I have a feeling the rest of their conflict in the Vacuo arc is going to have multiple layers and be very personal to their individual characters. For starters, there's a matter of how to sort out leadership. Ruby used to be head of the team and became the symbol of hope for All of Remnant after her broadcast... but in her absence, Oscar will have stepped up to the plate in her place. There's going to be some fumbling to get them back on the same page again to a point where they are properly sharing the weight of their burdens together.

Then we know that Oscar probably thinks she died! :'D Which, in tandem with his attachment, admiration, and protectiveness of her in the past, sets him up perfectly to not want to lose her again. Be that struggling with sticking too close, keeping his distance from not wanting to get too attached again (too bad boy, you can't run from this), or a mix of both... it's anyone's guess how he'll handle it.

We also know, thanks to Neo, just how important Oscar is to Ruby and that the thought of losing him is something she literally could not handle. So there is almost certainly going to be a mutual protectiveness going on there. they can have a LITTLE codependency, as a treat. /lh

We also have VERY SOLID SETUPS for their individual character arcs mirroring each other so strongly. And it's impossible for those themes to not be explored at this point.

From their very introductions, they both address each other's core conflicts with their first words to each other.

Oscar: Woah, you... have silver eyes.

Silver eyes being symbolic of her burden as Salem's adversary and the mirror that reflects humanity's hope back onto darkness.

Ruby: Who... are you?

Oscar being the next (and likely final) Ozcarnation who's entire character arc is a struggle of identity.

Oscar's "I always knew I wanted to be more than a farmhand... but this? Who would ask for this?" to Ruby's "I wanted to be the hero, like the stories that my mom read to me."

Oscar's "I thought the idea of falling through Remnant into a new world was... exciting. I never understood why she was so sad when she finally made it back home." to Ruby's "I don't want to be me anymore."

Ruby's "What if you could be anyone?" to Oscar's "I'm just going to be another one of his lives, aren't I?"

god the way they've written this story... i sincerely don't understand how people can watch ALL of this, all the moments i didn't mention cause i'm too lazy to turn this thread into another essay, and still say they don't see it. 😭

however their conflict is handled, i know i'm going to be very not normal about it every step of the way and i'm so freaking excited

[vocallywritten]

I need to give the cast their flowers 💐

I love Dimension20 and all their seasons hold a special place in my heart, but there is just something extra in A Court of Fey and Flowers. I don't know what it is exactly.

The cast is all amazing on their own, but everyone also has such incredible chemistry and it was so instant.

Lou Wilson is the BACKBONE of this season. He understood better than anyone what a Regency Fey story would be like (equal parts being horny and causing problems on purpose cause you're bored) and he fucking WENT FOR IT. In a story like this you need a Squak. You need a rich, powerful guy who's just here to fuck shit up and do things he specifically will think is funny because he's the idle rich among the FEY. And having a genuine connection with his cousin just makes it so much better. Everytime Lou slips and calls Chirp his sister instead of his cousin I cryyy. Lou understood the assignment and I truly mean it when I say that all the cast did. They really nail the genre. All of them in different ways. But this season would not have been able to reach that perfect balance of Regency and Fey without Lou's character specifically. He's an antagonist, he's an anti-hero, he's a little bit of a villain as a treat, he's here to get in your way, but he might help you out if he thinks that's funnier, he has a cousin who can do no wrong and everyone else can leave. I LOVE him.

Emily as Chirp is amazing as well. Emily Axeford has a bit of a reputation for wrecking DM's shit and causing chaos wherever she can and she is in fine form in this one. What I love about Emily is that even though she IS chaotic at the table, it's almost always with purpose (even if that purpose is "I think this will be funny" she makes the things she does count, in the story, in the fight, whatever she's doing) and she never uses that chaos to take over the table. She's so mindful of the other players and always wants to do things that will make the game fun for everyone while also coming in with this great energy for herself. Her and Lou, like I said before are incredible to watch together. They have such Team Rocket meets Henry and Mary Crawford energy. They play off of each other SO WELL it is a delight to watch every single time they interact. Emily has great range. She's an incredible comedic actor and is also a very strategic player and these two things make for amazing character choices. ("Ostrich chariot pulled by birds!" She prioritized bird puns in her character build when picking spells!!) She is AMAZING.

And what can I say about Brennan Lee Mulligan that hasn't already been said? He's one of the best DMs in actual play. He's incredibly talented and intelligent and he uses humor and comedy as a foundation to create such emotionally rich and resonant stories in a way I really admire. And as a player? He is incredible to watch. His ability to go wherever the story takes him while remaining staunchly in character is great. And I ADORE his dynamic with Aabria. There is truly so much trust and respect there and even though they're really good both as players and as GMs I think Aabria being the GM brings something extra to Brennan being the player. Like I don't know if they just have really good communication, or if they just have great instincts that let them play off each other so well (probably both) but whenever they work together the work is immediately elevated. Brennan as Hobb is such a stand out performance among 5 other stand out performances. Brennan is always very good at nailing whatever genre he's in and my God did he bring his A game here. The serious, dutiful captain pining for someone above his station is like... PEAK Jane Austen. And he didn't even PLAN hitting that archetype. It literally just happened naturally. The power. The skill. I am in awe of that ability to find the most interesting story for a character and make it happen. His desicion to let the dice decide important choices for his character because Hobb is being pulled in two different directions all the time is INSPIRED. He's just great. We all know it.

Okay now we get to the people new to the dome and don't worry I have A LOT to say about them, they're all so talented and amazing and I want them all to come back.

Oscar is playing his first full campaign in THIS SEASON??? ARE WE SURE??? He is out here making huge swings immediately and they're all paying off! It's so satisfying to watch him play. He has chemistry with literally everyone at the table and like this whole table has amazing chemistry, but he is so good at zeroing in on the other character's motivations and figuring out the best way for Rue to engage with and connect with them. I love the way he's so RP focused and every move he makes is always with Rue's motivations in mind. Literally everything Rue does is highly motivated, even if we don't understand their reasons yet and that is SO GOOD!!! Like when Rue didn't sit down at the meeting with the Lords of the Wing I thought that was Oscar metagaming a little bit to mess with Emily and Lou because they were trying so hard to fuck with Rue and it was funnier but NO. They had a reason the whole time!! He's so good at this. And the way Rue had one moment with Hobb and Oscar was like, "I am now the romantic lead in a regency pining fest." is amazing. The way he has developed Rue's arc and their romance with Hobb is just so incredibly well done and he has just done such an amazing job in this season. Another person who absolutely understands the assignment.

Omar next. OMAR! OMAR !!!!! IS KILLING ME!!!! The juxtaposition of his character being a socially awkward loser and also the Hottest Catch at the Bloom is amazing and what he does with it is so fun. And the way he's such a comedic character at the beginning (and yes D20 is a comedy show but he is REALLY playing Andhera as like a comic relief character trying to break into being a main character and not really knowing how and it's so fun) but then he hits us with just some of the most emotional shit known man with a friendly little smile on his face and you're like "WAIT NO GO BACK. What was that???!!!" I have said it before and I will say it again, Andhera is the most capital R Romantic character in the whole show and I just can't handle it because he's also just so funny and can turn on either the tragedy or the comedy at a moment's notice. He's hot! He has a fake voice! He was deeply neglected as a child! He has a creepy grandpa face dog! He's so bad at talking! He has a shard stuck in his neck and it's the saddest fucking thing you've ever heard!! Omar has some RANGE and Andhera is such a fun character. (Also his whole thing with Binx may actually lead me to an early grave. I have not been so obsessed with a dynamic in years. Like platonic, romantic, I don't care I just want them to be devoted shell pals starting revolutions and finding a home in the Court of Craft forever and ever. And I would also like them to hug before the season ends, please and thank you.)

Surena!!!!!!! Is!!!!! AMAZING!!!!!! I've probably called every cast member amazing but Surena especially deserves the title. They are so incredible. She had a hard job coming in, playing someone pretty separate from the rest of the group, an outsider playing a role they were uncomfortable in and really just knocked it out of the park!! And her character is so essential to getting the plot moving and the connections their character made have really done a lot in making the whole story of this season so engaging. All her reveals and her secrets!! And leading that to them finally letting down her walls and trusting people. I am at the edge of my seat whenever Surena/Gwyn/Binx does basically anything because she's so embroiled in the main mystery. Like other people came ready to party and make matches but Binx is spying and ready to tear down the institution from the inside and I LOVE that. So many great stakes in the show come with their character and her choices. Like Lou is the backbone of the show in terms of tone and setting the right scene, Surena spent half the season carrying the whole plot on their back (not that the other players didn't move the plot forward or have interesting things going on. They ABSOLUTELY did! But this story would just not be the same without Surena doing some brick laying from the beginning). Her characterization of Binx is also just so charming and I love watching her reactions when other players are doing cool things. (And also Surena has a great smile. That also can be said. It's sort of relevant to what I was saying 🤣) Binx is a great character and watching how Surena plays them as both a spy intent on justice and a socially awkward outsider is just such a joy to watch.

And finally Aabria. @quiddie. Can I talk to you directly for a second about what a talented and intelligent and empathetic and AMAZING GM/DM you are?? Because you are absolutely incredible at what you do. Whatever extra spark this season has I think is down to Aabria and her ability as a GM. She's so GOOD at finding the things her PCs care the most about and making them happen so organically. She is always just SO prepared and ready and willing to roll with whatever punches the PCs might throw her way. And the way she hypes up the players and wants to make sure everyone is having a good time is very wholesome. Her entire vibe is both exactly what I aspire to be as a GM and also exactly the kind of person I would want as my GM. She has such an eye for detail and I love how she weaves the important stuff into the story with so much grace you don't even know she's setting something up until she brings it back a couple episodes later and punches you directly in the face with it. Aabria knows how to tell a good story and she is so good at working with her players to make sure that story is fully collaborative. And as someone who loves a good romance subplot, I really respect her coming into D20 and being like "This is great, but what if more characters kissed?"

In conclusion I love everyone involved in this project. It's just so well done and well acted and well made all around.

I need a season 2 with the Pack of Pixies. One season is just not enough.

[heyimdove]

TW: climate change, wildfires, hurricanes, woe.

Sorry, I know you follow me for Good Omens stuff, but I’m freaking out.

San Diego doesn’t get hurricanes, but one, (a category 4???) is coming for us.

I’m a born and raised San Diegan and I can’t believe I’m typing this at all. But here we are, facing Hurricane Hilary and collectively holding our breath, wondering if we’ll be okay. Wondering what we’ll look like in a few hours.

I’m a worrier. I worry. I worry for our loud wonderful parrots who wake me up every day, and for our marine wildlife who I love with all my heart. I fear for our homeless community, who have already dealt with enough this year just existing, and who are too often children. I worry for the people who believe they’ll be okay, will make a bad decision or two, and prove themselves wrong.

It all makes me think of 2003.

For a week that October, it felt like the world was ending. The Cedar Fire, which was the biggest fire in California history (might still be) burned for a week. I was little.

We had never had snow days (the only snow we get out here comes in cone form), but suddenly white ash was falling like snow and school was canceled. This was the first revelation to me that we were really In It.

I remember sitting at the sliding glass door with my big sister, small feet pressed against the glass, as we watched the sky turn black from smoke and ash. I remember how you could only tell it was daytime because you could still see the sun behind the smoke. It was this ominous, dull red orb, like a dying ember, like Sauron’s eye, like God had abandoned us but stuck around to watch til the credits rolled. Even inside, we held wet washcloths over our noses and mouths so we wouldn’t inhale the ash that snuck into the house through cracks we didn’t know we had.

I remember my dad, crying and clutching the phone, as he begged my grandma to follow evacuation orders to leave their house. Grandpa didn’t want to go, so he stood on the roof with a garden hose, watching a wall of fire two blocks away as it ate trees and homes. He stood up there, spraying the roof like it would make any difference, while Grandma broke down and screamed for him to escape while they still could. Dad kept saying “leave him, Mom, leave him!”

I’ll be honest: that fucked me up.

Scripps Ranch, their part of town, has eucalyptus trees. They’re oily. They blow up when they catch fire. He only agreed to leave when he watched one explode a few houses away. My loyal, loving grandma didn’t leave him behind.

That taught me something strange about love that I haven’t been able to untangle since. I love my grandfather, but I never have forgiven him for what he put her through that day. What he prioritized under the black skies and white ash and red sun when people were dying. I wonder if he thinks he won, that he beat the fire, because their house didn’t burn in the end. I wonder if he thinks of himself as David and the fire Goliath, not realizing that his David was so small, Goliath hadn’t ever known he existed.

I hope so much that we don’t get more Davids this time around.

That people don’t hear about 19ft waves and grab their boards. Don’t drive their cars through the same place it always floods in Mission Valley, the same place people always end up drowning. Don’t try to save a house and lose a life instead.

That fire season was our worst, but fire response has improved so much since. Everyone said it was so bad because we hadn’t been prepared; now we do backburns, controlled burns, we’re better about campfire education. We’re safer now. We listen to evacuation orders. We have bug out bags and back up plans and binders where we keep our important documents. Aside from the occasional low-grade panic when I smell fire in the air that may be a barbecue, may not, I’m not really even afraid of wildfires now, only sad for the places impacted by them, like Hawaii and Canada. I find myself wondering what their sun looks like.

When I think back, I also remember how everyone came together to help. Firefighters from across the country and around the world came to help fight. Came to help us. It chokes me up as I write- especially when I think about the active fire maps and remember we only have so many firefighters.

I hope we don’t need backup this time. But I’m scared anyway.

Because we don’t have hurricane practice. This is new. The rain this year was new. The October-June winter was new. I’m scared this is is like 2003 and we’ve got a massive deadly natural event and no idea how to fight it. We didn’t build for this.

I hope this is just a dramatic response to what winds up being nothing. I was in Ireland during Hurricane Ophelia, and that was a bit of wild weather, but most people shrugged it off. I’m crossing fingers and everything else I can for an Ophelia situation.

To any San Diegans reading: don’t shoot the Hurricane.

But if it’s worse, then I just want to say I love my city. I love the way we held each other up in 2003 and 2007 and 2020-22. I hope we never have to again, but I’m grateful I have all of you if we do.

I just sandbagged around the house, covered the windows with blankets, filled the freezer with ice. Everything’s charging, my flashlights have batteries, and my bathtub is clean and full of water. I’m not religious, but I still said a little prayer for the fish in my pond and brought in the patio umbrella. I couldn’t catch the black cat that hangs out in my yard so I said a little prayer for her, too.

I hope I reblog this on Monday to tell you I’m a silly and melodramatic idiot, but today I’m scared. Climate change is real and something must be done. I’m sick of fires and floods and this self-fulfilling prophecy that the end is nigh.

We still have options. We have addresses (figuratively speaking). We know how to build the guillotines (figuratively speaking). We outnumber those who would have our streets flood and our homes burn for personal profit- and we can permanently separate them from it (figuratively speaking). And I am tired of speaking in codes about who our enemies are now that the planet is fighting back. I’m sick of having to say I’m figuratively speaking.