#everyone thought that i was crazy today but .. that's just how i actually am........ rip.....

[allamericanb-tch]

crimson rivers thoughts (19)

@tastetherainbow290 this was CRAZY and very long i read A LOT

chapter 51

"I love him so much. It tears me apart that I can't make him see just how special he is." i need a james

james and remus being friends

“The Hallows would sooner believe Sirius fell in love with the actual moon before they believed he fell in love with a servant” 😭😭

these fools need to hug each other

they told each other their birthdays! look at them opening up to each other

sirius is so cute just talking to the moon

lily mention 

regulus being mad bc he fell asleep on sirius 😭

“Sirius will sleep when he's dead, and hey, that'll probably arrive for him sooner rather than later. Silver lining? Bad joke.” YEAH IT WAS A BAD JOKE

day three! they’re going to escape today right? i hope 

sibling moment

more weird creatures?!

AUGUSTA NO

SHE LIVES!!! huzzah alice

yes emmeline 

“"You know," Sirius muses, "if James were here, he'd be beat-boxing right now."” sirius’ name is so ironic bc that man is NEVER serious 😭

regulus calling james his fiancé ❤️‍🩹

sirius 😭

“I am going to be sexy until the day I die” yes you are sirius

“Did he know he was engaged prior to Regulus announcing it when he sent the bagel? No. Is he going to protest it? Also no.” james is the realest ever

WHAT ARE THEY DOING

i’m gonna cry omg

i know regulus makes it but why would they torment him like this. 

evan 💔

YES

i am jumping with joy rn

chapter 52

boggarts?!

oh no so many warnings for this chapter

dorcas!

lucius?! 

the boggart 😧

oh!

they’re making into a competition of course they are

"You remind me of my Alphard. He cared so much it killed him." 💔

biological warfare 😧

VANITY 💔

sirius lost regulus AGAIN?!

oh!

narcissa?!

vanity 💔

JAMES?!

oh it’s a boggart

poor reg he just can’t catch a break

this is so sad omg i am actually going to cry

marlene!!!!! huzzah!!!

cannibalism as a metaphor for love 

“she could have put it though his chest. he wishes she did.” 💔

fiancé 🤭

oh no

AUGUSTA 💔

i’m crying omg

i love alice

this is so sad

poor frank omg 💔

oh no bellatrix has found sirius

no he’s dissociating 

i know sirius is alive but OMG

bellatrix doing what she does in order of the phoenix when she kills sirius ah stop it don’t do this to me

rip bellatrix black you will not be missed 🙏 

HE LIVES!!!!!

“bellatrix died with tears on her cheeks” WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT

alice ☹️

poor frank omg 

“we’re starting a war” AHHHH i love you dorcas

chapter 53

narcissa ☹️

james finding out about his district ☹️

oh i forgot about mary i hope she is safe

i forgot dorcas didn’t know about remus

oh!

i really hope remus didnt leave omg

effie!!!!

lily what

“Euphemia passes her thumb over the letter in her pocket and really, really hopes that Remus is included in that.” we are all hoping

mary! she is safe

the great hall 😯

enemies to lovers marylily endgame?!

sybill 😭

i still am confused on so bingley is

kingsley and sybill love

barty and amos 😭😭

“i don’t even like men” “you do not darling” i love barty

sybill is HILARIOUS how did she not know she was in a relationship with someone

sybill telling everyone about their Secret mission

barty too?! okay everyone’s just getting in on this i guess

barty seducing amos into letting them go on the mission he is So Funny i love him so much 

thunderbird thieves ATE

oh no james what happened

REMUS LEFT NO

poor pandora ☹️ she has to leave her dying father behind that is so sad

uh oh 😧

james saving the day as always

revolution!

lily: “we have this under control.” meanwhile everyone in the background screaming that they’re all going to die 😭

the ring is a tracker!

dorcas being a prepared queen 

“"You're crazy," Rodolphus states. "I like crazy." "I like women," Dorcas replies. "Only."” icon behavior i love dorcas so much

rodolphus being a respectful king

mission mission mission

oh no the password

POPPY!

marlene what are you doing

oh no no no no

they got regulus thank god but they can’t leave sirius behind

oh no oh no oh no

why would you end the chapter like this

guys my heart is beating so fast rn i’m not even joking and i have to end here bc i have to go back to school ahhhh 

chapter 54

oh no everything is going wrong

dorcas literally Killing It

“At one point, James runs out of bullets, looks at his gun, then just throws it at the Auror in front of him” 😭

remus kill count: 2

eek

james and his bleeding heart

FRANK NO

dorcas telling james about sirius why is this chapter so sad

james what are you doing

oh. remus doesn’t know about sirius

barty 😭

marlene 😧

MARLENE!!!!!

ugh snape

voldy 😧

sirius in azkaban that is FOUL

chapter 55

kingsley 💔

poor andromeda ☹️

effie ❤️‍🩹

i’m gonna cry ahhhh

LILY

oh no

poor remus omg 💔

“revived six years later just to disintegrate before her very eyes.” oh

lowkey forgot about aberforth

boooo dumbledore 🍅🍅🍅

chapter 56

sirius being chronically bored

sirius calling voldy a dead fish 😭

sirius is a certified yapper

sirius just. swallowing voldy’s blood 😭

WHO IS BINGLEY

OHHH HES MARY’S BROTHER

marylily? marylily. 

remus and lily friendship ❤️‍🩹

lily being in love with mary <3

effie ❤️‍🩹

marlene ☹️

barty and rodolphus? okay

opulent another vocab word

JAMES

chapter 57

of course it didn’t pick up with james’ pov. 

pandora being an oblivious queen 😭

dorcas being lily’s The One That Got Away ☹️

lily 😭

lily ☹️

mary next ahhhh

kiss kiss kiss

afhhhhh i need jegulus happenings its been too long

this is so sad ☹️☹️☹️

“aturally, Regulus freezes like a startled hare under the gaze of a watchful wolf.” get it bc remus is a werewolf

nooo don’t fight

yay they’re friends again 

"Dumbledore of the Albus variety” 😭

JAMES?!

james….

“and he's so nervous and full of anxious anticipation that he's struck with the impulse to beat-box.” JAMES 😭😭😭

sirius 😧

“you’re hot” then sirius 😭😭

"Are you, like, allergic to prison?" 

prongsfoot is prongsfooting

☹️

chapter 58

ALBUS AND ARIANA WERE IN THE SAME HUNGER GAMES?!

ALBUS VOLUNTEERED FOR ABERFORTH?!

side note — i love that their names are albus and aberforth and then theres just 💫ariana💫

regulus is learning all the lore

so grindelwald killed ariana? and that’s why albus killed him?

albus dumbledore, always pacing in his office. 

regulus is so regulus

"If I can't persuade the leader in you, then let me persuade the man who knows what it is to be in love, let me persuade the brother you are. I love James, and Sirius is my brother. Please."

"We have a deal."  HUZZAH!

dora you are a little icon 

sprout! 

trojan horse 😧

ahhhh wolfstar and jegulus happenings will be happening soon 

marleneee don’t be mean to the love of your life

this is sad

i’m giving you an all tomato. which means you give me the whole tomato, or else.

they’re swapping…. please don’t die marlene

the way mary and sirius are always together briefly in every fanfic 

MARYLILY KISS!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!!! a cheek kiss but a kiss nonetheless 

barty 😭😭

oh regulus

effie 😭 god i love her

barty is so barty 

DID HE JUST BREAK SOME RANDO’S ARM 😭 REGULUS WHAT THE HECK MAN valid honestly. defend your man’s honor.

“needless to say regulus ends up in solitary” yeah we all saw that coming

aberforth! he’s really starting to grow on me

regulus is so regulus

pomona having an Extensive Wine Collection is so real

why does marlene have it out for lily (i mean i know why but they need to Be Friends)

oh are they Being Friends now?

yes they are and i love them ❤️‍🩹

chapter 59

ugh snape

why is this literally the red scare

OH WAIT is severus dumbledore’s ‘source’

“Potter is a fool, no doubt about it, but he isn't the biggest fool in this room. No, that honor goes to Riddle.” bars

did anyone else stop breathing when they read the suffocation part

"Now, I present you with my own to do something that's very on brand for James and I, which is me arguing with literally everything he just said."

“Oh, yeah, Sirius remembers what he did. He got sexy.” 😭😭 sirius 

“My pasta is calling my name, you have no idea." ME FR

of course remus is volunteering to go get sirius

😧

sirius you did not just say “welp” 😭😭😭

i miss evan 💔

oh!

i hate that remus knows exactly where sirius is but also yay for the mission?

sirius nooo

eeeeee they’re kissing but can they Get Out Of There

"He never got to eat his pasta." 😭

dead body chute 💀

ok severus

ok i have to read another chapter…

chapter 60

james 😧

dorcas is So In Love and i lover i love dorlene

pomona 💔

i hope this has a happy ending 

"The world doesn't revolve around me, Dorcas." "Mine does." I LOVE DORLENE

bingley!

i love bingley and lily being friends

MARYLILY!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! ITS HAPPENING!!!!!!

oh?

“hope can be found, even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light.” dumbledore core

they’re immune ?!

DID SIRIUS GET IMMUNITY FROM INGESTING VOLDYS BLOOD 😭

regulus climbed the tree?! i am proud of him ❤️‍🩹

i’m crying

“he needs his glasses”

effie ☹️

“Before Regulus ever found the sun in James, Sirius was the brightest light he knew; his guiding star.” ❤️‍🩹

crying still

chapter 61

james pov!

he’s high 😭

“no! my skin” 😭😭

“what did the big flower say to the little flower? hey there bud” james im in love with you

“I love you because you're you. And you—you're my friend, Remus.” ❤️‍🩹

"We're alone, love." ahhhhhhh jegulus is So Back

baby

molly got glasses for james omg 

fab and gid 💔

eeee they’re kissing 

"I love you, James. I loved you from the start, I love you now, and I'll love you for as long as love is something that exists—and, if it ever stops existing, I'll reinvent it just for you."

🎶confess i loved you from the start🎶

remu and sirius

sirius you can’t just tell remus you think you should break up ?!

no don’t break up ?!

remus 😧

huzzah!

they’re kissing again

should i end here while it’s happy(ish)? i think i will i read so much today

[wheels-of-despair]

Worth It | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

{<-Previous} [My Good Friend Mary] {Next->}

Summary: Ralph brings you a present that's also a prop in your masterful plan to keep your mother in the dark. Words: 1.3k

You returned to the park every day.

You'd told your mother you were meeting your new friend Mary Lennox, who had just left her palace in India behind for a mansion in London. She was a strange and lonely girl, who knew nothing of city life, so you'd volunteered to be her guide. Mary was very shy, and only comfortable with you for now, but you promised you would bring her home with you eventually. And perhaps your mother would receive an invitation to tea with Mary's exceedingly rich parents one day.

Except there was no Mary Lennox. There was only Ralph Penbury. Mary was the protagonist in The Secret Garden. You had once asked your mother to read it with you, back when you wanted to be close to her, but she never did. The only things your mother ever read were newsletters from her ladies' groups. How boring that must be.

You dared only spend a few hours with him a day, but you treasured every second of your visits. You'd meet at your secret bench at noon, share a picnic lunch packed by his kitchen staff, and discuss everything from books, to philosophy, to what the world might look like in a hundred years.

Your parents had noticed an improvement in your general demeanor since the Valentine's Day dance, but attributed it to your new friend Mary. You'd never had a friend that close before, always holding everyone at an arm's length. They need not know that your arms were actually wrapped tightly around Ralph Penbury.

"I brought you something."

"I see that," you note with amusement from your position on the bench, having arrived first today. He's carrying a neatly wrapped box with a large bow on top. "What's the occasion?"

"Does a man need an occasion to shower his lady-friend with gifts?"

"Oh. I thought it may have been for our anniversary," you tease.

Ralph nearly drops his package in shock, a look of pure panic on his face.

"Relax, Ralph," you laugh, "I'm only teasing. Unless you intended to celebrate eight days together."

"I intend to celebrate every day together," he says matter-of-factly. Your heart flutters. Stop that, you think.

He takes his seat, and places the box between you.

"Well, open it!" he says excitedly.

You slowly untie the bow, rolling up the ribbon so as not to ruin it, and set it aside. Then you begin peeling off the paper at a snail's pace, careful not to rip it, deliberately driving Ralph crazy.

It's working. It looks as if it's taking everything he has to not lean over and rip the paper off for you. But Ralph remains polite, sitting as still as he can, trying to pretend he's not frothing at the mouth.

"What's the matter, Ralph? Am I going too slow for you?"

He looks surprised for a moment, then realizes that you're teasing him again. A sour expression flashes over his face, and he crosses his arms and huffs adorably. You laugh and rip the paper, and suddenly he's excited again. You love playing with him.

You crumple the paper and lift the lid off your box. Inside is a large book about India.

You look at him in confusion. "Open it!" he says eagerly.

You crack open the front cover. Inside is a message, in a woman's handwriting. Leaning closer, you read:

To My Newest and Dearest Friend,

Now you can see the places I tell you about in all my stories!

Thank you for being so kind and welcoming to me as I adjust to my new home. I could not do it without you.

Love, Your Good Friend Mary

"I thought it would help sell the story of Mary Lennox to your mother," he explains.

"Indeed it will," you laugh. "Did you write this?"

"No. Well, I wrote the words. I had the maid copy it into the book."

"Oh, you're a clever one, Mr. Penbury," you admire. He beams.

"Look at this!" He pushes the empty box to the ground and moves closer to you, flipping through the book and showing you his favorite pictures. You try to focus on the book as he gushes about the animals and architecture of India, but you can't keep your eyes off of him.

You've never seen a person get so excited about everything before. You'd always been a stoic, so much in fact that your mother spent most of your childhood wondering aloud if there was something wrong with you. You'd sometimes questioned this yourself.

But Ralph? Ralph got excited about everything. You breathed in that pure, unadulterated joy like oxygen. When Ralph was happy, you were happy. Even over something simple, like spotting a pretty butterfly or a vendor selling a treat he'd never tried before. You wonder if you'd felt more joy in these last eight days than you had in your entire life.

Everything had changed that night at the dance. After a lifetime of shutting people out, choosing to stay home whenever possible and lose yourself in a book rather than join clubs or attend sleepovers, you suddenly felt like your presence wasn't bringing the room down. (You'd actually been accused of this on more than one occasion. You pretended like it hadn't bothered you, but it had.) But you didn't feel that way with Ralph. Ralph looked at you like he was happy you were by his side. It was a feeling that would take some getting used to.

The bells in the clock tower began to ring, snapping you out of your introspection. Ralph closes the book and hands it to you, reaching for the picnic basket with a frown.

"I'm sorry, I got carried away. You should have stopped me." He begins unpacking the basket with a blush on his face.

"I didn't mind. If my mother decides to quiz me about India, I will definitely be prepared," you wink.

"You can tell me to shut up, you know. I won't be offended. Sometimes I need to hear it." He takes a bite of his sandwich and looks at the ground as he chews. Tell Ralph to shut up? You could never! You'd sit and listen to him talk all day if you could. You love his voice, and the way his face tells a story of its own, and that he has opinions on everything.

"Well, you'll never hear it from me," you tell him firmly. He looks up in surprise. "I love listening to you," you shrug, suddenly very interested in your lunch. You pretend not to notice Ralph swipe at his eyes.

After a few minutes, Ralph makes a comment about cucumbers, and the conversation returns to normal. You spend the rest of your time together as happily as any other day, until the clock chimes again.

"I can't believe I wasted half of our time together rambling about a book. I really am sorry," he apologizes again, stuffing everything back into his basket. He stands with a sigh and offers you his hand. You leave your book on the bench and rise to embrace him.

"Ralph, I could spend the rest of my life listening to you read bread recipes," you admit.

He giggles and nuzzles his nose into your neck. You hold him tighter, wishing you never had to let him go. But the bells begin to quiet, and it's time for you to go home. You reluctantly release him and pick up the very thoughtful gift he'd brought you.

"Thank you," you say, clutching the book to your chest, wishing you could say more.

[soccer-love]

Little one

Alexandra Popp x reader

“Attention, the pregnant lady is coming over.” Svenja shouts as she spots me walking towards them. 

I roll my eyes, since I’m pregnant Alex got really protective over me, even when we’re around her team or friends, which are normally the people she trusts the most, but I guess its just her mother instincts going crazy. 

“Chill and you may remember that I have an actual name.” I say and she nods. 

“Y/N Popp.” Another thing the team can't shut up about, the fact that Alex and I share a last name, even though I still use my old name while playing soccer, well I did, I haven't played since I’m pregnant. 

“You got it.” Alex says as she walks over, wrapping her arms around me. 

“You were good today.” I say and she softly kisses me. 

“Hey Y/N.” Do greets me as she and Feli also come over, both of them wrapped in VFL Blankets. 

“How are you feeling?” Feli asks, she's one of my best friend, former room mate and also going to be the godmother of our baby, when she's born, what should be in about two or three weeks. 

”Really good, except that this little one is kicking my rips.” I answer and place a hand on my belly, feeling the soft movement underneath my skin. 

“Well she's going to be a great soccer player one day, just like her mom.” Alex says, giving me a soft smile while laying her hand over mine. 

“She?” Svenja asks. 

“Alex decided that it's going to be a girl.” I explain.

“I didnt decide it, I just have a feeling that it's going to be a girl.” Alex defends her self, Feli and Do laugh while Svenja just rolls her eyes. 

“Hey, sorry for interrupting you guys.” Obi cuts in “But we thought about getting dinner tonight to celebrate our last Bundesliga game of the year, feel free to bring your partners with you.” 

She points at me “And future children in your case.” 

Everyone agrees to come, while we make our way towards the locker rooms. 

“I will hurry, so we can drive home together.” Alex says and lets go of my hand. 

I chat a little bit with Tommy and the trainer team, till Alex comes back and we drive home. 

“Do you want to go out with the Team tonight?” She asks, as we take of our coats and I lean down to great our dog Patch. 

“Sure.” 

I go and make my self some tee while I watch them, playing on the living room floor. Patch trying to get his favorite toy back while Alex holds onto it, like her live depends on it. After some minutes he's practically dragging her across the floor. 

A warm feeling goes through my body and I think its just the feeling that I normally get at moments like this, the feeling of my love for this women. But when I feel something running town my legs I realize what just happened. 

“Alex.” I call out but she docent look up and just hums in response. 

“Alex!” I repeat, this time she stops from trying to get the toy and looks up at me. 

“Yes?” 

“I..um I think my water just broke.” I explain and somehow I’m way calmer then I thought I would be in this moment. 

“Oh...okay, I’will get the bag we prepared and then I drive you to the hospital, okay?” she asks and gets up, I see a little bit of panic and fear in her eyes but also excitement. 

“Yeah.” I answer a bit lame, she pulls me into her arms for a couple of seconds, calming me down.

“I can't wait to meet our little one.” she whispers and kisses my cheek before pulling back. 

When I was about thirty weeks pregnant, so about eight weeks ago, we prepared a bag with things we would need for the hospital. 

We get into our car and during the whole drive she holds my hand. 

When we arrive at the hospital, they bring us into a delivery room and a nurse comes to take my vitals and a doctor comes to cheek on me. 

“I called our parents and send Feli a text.” Alex explains after she comes back inside, from informing our family, and the doctor told us that everything is looking good. 

“Okay.” I say, giving her a smile while she sits down next to me, placing a hand on my belly. 

“I am way calmer then I thought I would be in this moment.” I admit, sharing my thought from earlier. 

“Me too, but I think it's because you’re calm.” she says and leans down to kiss my forehead. 

An hour goes by and I get contractions more, Dr. Deluca comes back with a nurse and they confirm that I’m now seven centimeters dilated. 

“You’re lucky, Mrs. Popp, first time mothers normally take a while. Also on the ultrasound your baby looks great so its not bad that she will be broke two weeks earlier then you expected.” she explains, before looking at Alex for a second. 

“We made some good experiences, that it is really comfortable if the partner sits behind the person that's giving birth, if you're willingly to do it, you can.” the nurse explains. 

“Would you like me to do that?” Alex asks and I nod. 

She takes off her shoes, before climbing onto the bed behind me, her legs on each side of me and I lean against her, again she grabs my hand. What would I do without her? 

My thoughts get interrupted by another contraction, I reach for the nearest things to grab and find her thigh. 

“Fuck.” I breath out, she softly pushes a string of hair out of my face. 

“Okay, it's time to push.” Dr. Deluca informs us. “Ready?” 

I nod through the pain. 

“Now!” 

I say and hold back a scream as I push, Alex whines a little as I squeeze her hand but she doesn't say anything. 

I have no clue how fucking love it goes but I know that I’m really tired by the time Dr. Deluca tells me to push one last time. 

“I can't, I  can't.” I say but Alex shakes her head. 

“You can, you are so strong, Y/N.” she whispers, kissing my temple “I love you.” 

When I finally feel the relief and our baby is out, I feel my body relaxe. 

A soft cry fills the room and I almost start crying because I’m so happy to finally meet my baby. 

I watch Dr. Deluca wrap something into a towel and let my head fall back onto Alex shoulders, before a nurse comes over and softly lays the tiny body in my arms. 

“Here she is, your beautiful baby girl.” 

I don't know how do describe it but the second I get to look at my baby, I feel just unconditional love for this tiny human. 

“Hey baby.” I whisper and she opens her eyes a little bit, she looks at me from same blue orbs Alex has. 

“She’s so beautiful.” Alex whispers, wrapping one arm around me and softly brushing over the cheek of our newborn. 

“Whats her name?” Dr Deluca asks, Alex gives me a questioning look and I nod. 

We already choose a name, one for a girl and one for a boy. 

“Charlotte Felicitas Popp.” 

They give us some more minutes with our baby, before taking her to do some checkups. Alex stays with them while Dr Deluca does checks on me and a nurse helps me to get the sweat of off my body and chance into some joggers and one of Alex shirts. 

After that I get my baby back and they bring us into another room, the nurse tells me to get some rest but lets us know that we should go get her when we have any questions, before leaving us alone. 

Alex sits down next to me and holds Charlie for a litte while, before passing her back into my arms. 

She pulls out her phone and takes some pictures, sending them to our parents and friends before sending someone a text massage. 

“Hey, babe.” she says and I look up, from my babys blue eyes into hers.

“Yes?” 

“Feli send me a text earlier, saying that they're outside, waiting till she's here, as a support.” she explains “Is it okay, if I leave you for a second just to tell them that everything’s fine.” 

“You can bring them here, if the nurse is okay with it. I’m sure they wanna meet Charlie.” I say and Alex smiles. 

“Are you okay with this?” 

“Yes of curse.” 

She walks out and after a couple of minutes she comes back, Feli, Obi and Svenja behind her. 

“Hey.” I greet them. 

“May I introduce you to Charlotte Felicitas Popp.” I say and see everyone melting by the first look they get at our baby. 

“How are you two?” Sevnja asks and comes closer. 

“Really good.” I say, Alex sits down next to me, wrapping one arm around me. 

“You know, by saying that you could bring your child with you to our team dinner, I didn't mean it like that.” Obi jokes, making us laugh. 

I open my mouth to response, that I didn't understand it like that too, when I see Feli wiping tears out of her eyes. 

“You’re good buddy?” I ask and she nods. 

“It’s just...she got my name.” she says now completely bursting into tears. Tears of happiness. Svenja goes and wraps an arm around her. 

“Yeah but now you always have to be there for her, or I’m going to give her a different name.” I joke, making Feli laugh again. 

“Thank you and I will, I’m going to be the best aunt ever. I promise.”

Well now I’m about to cry and that's exactly why I knew from the first moment of my pregnancy that Feli would be perfect as a godmother. 

We chat some more, till Alex kindly asks them to leave and they wish us a goodnight. 

“I love you.” I say as Alex sits down next to me again and kisses my temple, Charlie fast asleep in her arms. 

“I love you too, you both.” she responses. “More then I could every tell with words. 

[safyresky]

Ok, this is gonna sound dumb, but how does one get motivation to write? Like, I have characters, scenes, etc planned out in my head, but I'm always stuck on how to start out. I was wondering if you had any tips on going about that? Do you have endings planned out first in mind, or just go with the flow? Any charts made, etc?

Oh no, not dumb at all! A very good question actually. Starting something is the hardest part, imo :). I think it's the question I see most people ask fellow writers.

Starting is hard! I totally understand. It took me YEARS before I finally posted, and that was because Rise of the Guardians was coming out and after watching the trailer I went "ah shit, people are gonna think I ripped Jacqueline off of Chris Pine Jack Frost. That's no bueno, better get this mofo OUT!" I am a notorious procrastinator and the thought of negative feedback actually renders me useless, so I needed a bit of a kick in the butt there 💀💀💀

I think it depends on the person, really. Everyone has a different thing that works for them! Some plan, some just go FUCK IT, WE BALL, and do just that! Here's my kind of. Idk if I'd CALL IT a system? Or a process? But here's what I do, and maybe it'll help you find what works for you?

So I don't really have the end planned right away. I don't usually have ANYTHING planned lol. Generally, most of the things I write start with a hazy concept or idea. For example:

Crystal Springs: What if Jack went through the same thing Zuko did in Book 3, since he thawed? What if someone had to reteach him how to find what powers his powers? Who would they be? How would that work? (this then proceeded to spiral out of control into CS as we know it today).

Frostmas: If Jack was Santa, who was Jack Frost? How did we get from the usual business to a THEME PARK?!?!

Sometimes they're srs like that, other times they're downright silly:

Frog Warning: Haha, I misspelled fog when telling the hubbers about the weather. That's some Crystal Springs ass shit. Jacqueline and Charlie are just minding their business when a frog comes bouncing down the street, the weather is FROG WARNING--oh. Oh, this could be fun!

Actually starting is the hard part, but here's my lil secret: I usually don't start things in order! If I have an idea, I'll go ahead and write it down--whether it be in hazy notes, or actually writing a rough kind of draft, I just get it down and go from there! It works for me for the most part, and then I usually go with the flow from there. Where does this scene fit? What happens before it?

This usually leads to the mess that is my onenote notebook for Crystal Springs, lol. Each story has a tab, and each page is usually a chapter, and I just launch into notes there and go absolutely crazy. Completely HAM. I don't worry about proper grammar or spelling, I just write what I think happens, and brainstorm from there! That's how I get gems like this:

Or like this (CS spoilers abound):

Where on the left is the outline, I suppose, of the work (Chapter 26 of CS I believe this is) and thoughts I have after reading them back go beside the section I thought them about!

Then after that, the actual writing part becomes a LOT easier: I have a sort of outline, and can just refer to it as I make it less messy notes, more actual story chapter. And then, a couple read throughs later, maybe some scene rewrites, and voila! I've got me a story >:)

Starting is hard. SO hard. You're so right, Anon! And before I get too ramble-y, here's my "advice", if you will (aka a tl;dr)

Everyone has something different that works for them, because everyone's writing styles are different. Here's what works for me:

Start wherever. Not at the beginning, not at the end. If a particular scene/part is on my mind, I get it down right away! You don't need to start at the beginning! :)

Get those ideas down! Write out the scene, the character, the idea, the plot point. Doesn't matter how: could be notes, could be writing the entire scene, could be a shitty doodle, just get it written down. Make it real! Put it on a page somewhere!

GET EXCITED ABOUT IT! Be your main cheerleader! give yourself the Fandom treatment and theorize about what happens next, what happens where, etc. And write anything that makes you go OH YO THAT'S GOOD down!

If something else crops up, don't be like "oh man, I gotta finish this scene, though, I can't jump into another thing". Jump into the other thing. Just write it down! Who knows? It may become part of your final story (this has happened to me often enough that I've lost count).

Once I've gotten the burning ideas down, it tends to grow from there. Sometimes going with the flow works very well (and it does for me, for the most part).

After that, I sort the ideas, place them where I picture them (beginning, middle, end), and write notes leading up to the scenes I've already got.

The notes then make it super easy to write the rest of the story, and suddenly I've got a 16k chapter and 20 more ideas to fill the other portions of the story!

So, yeah! Long post, sorry for your dashes, I can stick a readmore somewhere in here if everyone wants, but there's my process. The takeaway?

JUST WRITE! WHATEVER IDEA YOU HAVE, WHETHER IT'S BEGINNING, MIDDLE, OR END, WRITE IT DOWN! :D

Once you've got something, it's a lot easier to start. And when you just go with the flow, and write what you have in mind, it becomes fun, and worrying about starting? Not a problem anymore because holy shit am I having fun, and wow! I've got so much to go off of now! (Also I hate deadlines and self imposed goals, they only make me feel pressure and then the writing isn't fun anymore, it feels like a chore, or a project, or an essay, or a work task. I'm going to be a terrible profesh writer one of these days)

ANYWAY I have no idea if this is what you were looking for, or if this helps at ALL. I hope it does a little bit! I'd strongly encourage you to write the concepts you have in your head right now, and don't worry about putting it all together just yet. Go with the flow, have fun with it, and see where it takes you! :)

And, uh, if any of my other writer friends have any tips and tricks, @lmelodie and @kscribbs and @shittyelfwriter (if u take a breather from kingdoming those tears lol), feel free to add! :)

[naomi-nana]

atsushi nakajima x fem!reader < series >

CHAPTER PROLOGUE : full moon

" why i do art you ask? ,,

IN WHICH, atsushi nakajima is met with a girl who is passionate about paintings.

characters : y/n(you), atsushi nakajima

genres : angst.

tw ; angst, mentions of abandonment. please do not continue reading if you can't handle the things i mentioned. (NOT PROOFREAD BTW)

a/n : yeyeyyeyeye prologue chapter! hope u enjoy:)

Today is a peaceful night in yokohama. Everyone is sound asleep in their own room. Except for a certain white haired boy. Well, how could he be asleep? He is chained, and is put in a 'jail' as he calls it. What a poor boy. Everytime someone passes by him, they always sends him a look of fear, disgusts, or hatred. Even the owner of this orphanage also looks at him that way. As if he is a monster, a beast, a creature that should never exist.

He thinks that, no one would ever saves him. Even if he did escape, no one would help him. No one would care for a beast like him. The boy started crying. How could he not? Being trapped in a jail is terrifying.

"Who is that?"

His eyes looks up to find a girl that looks his age. A book and a pen is on her hand. She approached the "jail" and extended her right hand. "..are you alright?" She asked. The boy is shocked by the way she treated him. Though her face remains expressionless, he thinks that this is a blessing that the gods gave him.

"I..i am atsushi nakajima. Who are you? How did you know i was here? Why did you try to help me? Are you not scared of-"

"Slow down. I only have one mouth."

Atsushi's eyes widens and his cheek turns red from embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ask so many questions. You must have felt disgusted towards me now." Atsushi expected her to leave because of the way he acts, but instead, the girl chuckled and sat down infront of him while opening her book.

"It's alright. I've met tons of weird people too you know? Like, uhh..paintman! Or..maybe, antman! well these are not exactly people, just a fragment of my imagination.." The girl exclaimed happily while shoving atsushi's face with her drawing book.

"Ouh..wow..what a lot of drawing.." he said.

"Hehe, yeah. I like to draw since i was 5. Now that i'm 12, my drawings have improved for the better!" She chimed, putting her small hands across her chest proudly.

"Do you have..uh..what do they call it again? Uh, yeah. Drawing partners?" The girl looked at atsushi in a curious way and started thinking to herself. "Huh. Come to think of it, i really don't have someone to talk about my drawings to.."

"you seem like a fun person to be around with, why don't anyone want to talk about your drawings with you?" He asked.

"Oh wow thanks for that 2 seconds of compliment! But, yeah..The reason why nobody wants to talk about it with me is because they say that i'm weird.." Atsushi shots her a guilty look.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bring that up."

"Huh?? No need to apologize for every 10 seconds, sheeshh! It's alright, i don't mind at all!" Atsushi looks down and looks up again.

"May i..look at your drawings?"

"Ohoho! Of course you can! Oh yeah, the name's Y/n by the way!" Y/n gave atsushi her book.

As atsushi looked through the book, he noticed that some of the page were ripped off. Especially the one with colors in it. And as he looks through it more, almost half of the page were forcefully ripped off. "Why is..uh.." atsushi hesitates at first, thinking that it would be a offensive topic, though he decided to just go for it. "Why is half of the page ripped off?"

Y/n looks at him and looks at the book he is holding. "Oh. Uh. Uhm. Well..actually, my..parents. uh yeah, don't like my drawings. Not like it's ugly or anythin', they just don't like it. They think i'm crazy for having lots 'n lots of imaginations like this and the fact that i could draw my imaginations makes it seem as if i was crazier than what my parents thought. I mean, atleast that's what they say. So they like abandoned me and that's why i'm here."

Atsushi's eyes widens. Who would knew that even drawings can be considered as something crazy, offensive, or wrong. At this point, maybe breathing would be considered wrong too, he thought. "I..didn't know about that."

"I know, it sounds crazy. but i mean it's because i don't want to explain it in full length i guess. I'm too lazy to go through all the details. Maybe next time!" Y/n smiles at Atsushi, and he also returned her smile.

"Oh my, look! A full moon :D" Y/n exclaimed happily as she pointed her fingers towards the window behind him. Atsushi turned his body around and also saw the moon.

Today's moon is so pretty. It's really big, shiny, and beautiful. As atsushi looks at it more, he feels more and more dizzy, he feels as if everything around him is fading, his vision blurry, everything around him dissappearing.

'is this going to be the end? after making a new friend that is not afraid or disgusted by my appearance, this is happening? why? what have i done wrong. why is this happening to me. why is it only happening to me. does the gods hate me? is that why they choose that destiny for me?' He thought to himself. Atsushi is trying desperately to move just a single inch, yet his body won't budge. Even for a little bit.

Is this the end?

this was so rushed omg😭😭

© property of naomi-nana, do not plagiarize.

[nobodysdaydreams]

Mysterious Benedict Society Liveblog Season 2 Episode 1 A Perilous Journey

Well boys and girls. Here I am again procrastinating (or taking a well deserved break- I suppose it's a matter of interpretation) to hopefully watch a clinically insane man try to hit some children with a golf cart. Yes, I know 2 episodes came out today, but with my schedule being what it is, we're gonna have to do these one at a time and skip the recaps. Alrighty let's go!

4:00- so far so good. Loving the kids in their new homes. Where is my girl Constance though?

5:00- Why the heck does he have a big banner of himself on the side of the building? What happened to being in disgrace and in exile? Now the man is appearing on the news. I thought the point was that they stopped the whisper from making people think he fixed the emergency, now he takes credit anyway? How? Why? What? At this point he's just messing with them.

5:40- oh my gosh he's throwing our girl under the bus, RIP Garrison I hope you come back but this might be it for you. Does this mean Curtain stole her invention and just yeeted her off the boat when SQ's back was turned? We're not even 10 minutes in and I have so many questions.

6:30- Um... what... Is he hypnotizing people with his mind? Does he have psychic powers now? YES BEAT HIM UP CONSTANCE!!! ah dang it. She'll get him eventually.

8:00- Curtain is on the loose, I'd be hung up on the injustice too. Not that scavenger hunting and woodworking doesn't have its place but there is like. A dangerous man at large. He's not exactly hiding. What's stopping you?

9:00- "Are you even invited to speak?" "I'm an esteemed scientist." "It's not an open mic" sljfkdsjfdf- If that isn't me at every academic conference. "Who is mocking me"- oh no poor benedict. PFFFT "Not even a high level conference" I love #2.

10:15- Uh oh they got them. Um... No sure why considering Curtain seems to have gotten away with it and no one on the team besides Benedict is trying to stop Curtain, and people think he's crazy. Why invest resources into kidnapping them?

10:33- AWE MILLIGAN! Kate, come on. He's trying. it's been years, but that wasn't his fault. YES YOU SHOULD GET YOUR OWN BUCKET MILLIGAN. It would be adorable.

12:00- Oh my gosh are we doing the Sticky abandoning his friends plotline AGAIN. We did this. Come on the show does so much right please don't rewind his character development he deserves more.

13:00- Awe Constance being so happy to see Reynie. And yes thank you- did you really never discuss Constance destroying that machine with her mind? You had a year. I get there were other things to figure out but still.

15:00- Ready or not here comes the plot!

16:00- "all our efforts" = yelling into landline phones in different languages. Seriously I have a draft about this, but they have the tech for brain sweeping and mind control, why is everyone (even Curtain) using land lines? If he wants to be famous and powerful, the man could have just made an iphone.

17:25- "maybe down a well. Maybe into a propeller." Geez, Constance has already accepted this. OR AT LEAST FIND THE WELL, yikes.

19:26- Yes back to Curtain's shenanigans. Oh my gosh I love how he planned little snacks for them, just to flex his meal prep skills. And the fact that he knew they would hit that part of the car and made a compartment to open like that- the level of detail this man has gone into for his silly little schemes is quite impressive.

20:20- could be a benefactor, oh boy he is in denial

21:00- There is no system. Yeah, basically my house.

21:30 (about)- Mail delivery, "Just a random example" oh my gosh are Sticky and Reynie about to have it out? Was sticky not getting his letters? So... they're actually ok then and there is no conflict here?

22:30- "not dad roommate". Oh the parallels between Constance and Curtain's lack of vulnerability are coming and I love them. If they give him psychic powers too, it's all really gonna come together. Oh no Milligan, poor guy he's trying so hard. Perhaps he could bond with Kate by providing the backstory of what happened to his wife/Kate's mom (when he remembers it).

26:00- Mr. Benedict would never ask us to desecrate a book- well he literally just did that to put a book inside a book unless he used a fake book.

28:30- Oh hello creepy women staring at the children in a car with no expression. You're unsettling.

29:00- Rhonda and Milligan and Ms. Perumal really should have known better than to leave them alone like that.

29:50- "who knows what danger they could be in" good point Reynie. At this very moment, Curtain might be force feeding them another round of snacks to try to impress his brother with his superior culinary skills.

30:40- Alright! sneaking on the ship. Love the call back to when Constance did that last time.

31:00 - I'm sorry what. What. Why. What. I just want the camera to zoom out and show a employee like "oh my boss is being weird again"... AH YES THERE HE IS!

32:00- At least they gave us a nice breakfast. I KNEW IT. This man may hate you, but he hates you not knowing how good he is at meal prep more, so you know you're gonna eat good. Ah there he is happy as a clam driving his little cart. Yes #2 kill him. Okay Curtain sounds a bit out of it. Is he feeling the effects of Garrison's invention too? He seems less uptight but more unhinged since we last saw him. Which I love.

33:20- this isn't like Reynie. It's just like Kate. Yep, they know their kids. Now go get them!

And that's episode 1 of season 2. I'll post episode 2 later when I get the chance but overall a great start. Still need to know where Martina is. Still need to know where SQ is. STILL NEED JUSTICE FOR MY GIRL GARRISON UNLESS SHE'S BEEN PULLING THE STRINGS THE WHOLE TIME. And also seriously, can we have Benedict met SQ already? Alright, that's it for now.

[emisirrelevant]

WE ARE THE TIGERS/WATT WEEK DAY 4

HAPPY WATT WEEK DAY 4!!!

Today’s prompt is: Pom poms up

Continuing with my contributions for the week, as this is a lyric from Shut Up and Cheer, I will give my song commentary and analysis of it.

The fact I have been in Eva’s place before actually (minus the people dying, but the drama, OH GOD. Yes, I can confirm even SWIM TEAM can have drama. And not the drama in the musical theater way)

•”In a room full of people who have clearly mad bad choices, I may be the stupidest one here”

•Now WOAH WOAH WOAH. There’s so much to say here.

•FIRST, I LOVE THIS LINE. What a BANGER opening line

•PRESTON MAX ALLEN KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING COMING UP WITH THIS OKAY?

•It says a LOT in one line

•effective ways to start a song: be Eva in WATT

•Also just Sydney Parra. That’s all.

•Finally, I just realized could this lyric still technically work if you swapped “people” and “choices”?

•“in a room full of choices who have clearly made bad people” idk 😂

•”Cause having heard the stories, and knowing all the drama” Eva my beloved come here I will give you all the hugs

•”I still said I’d join the murder squad this year” Omg an alternative title for WATT? “Murder Squad the Musical”

•and technically if we’re getting logical Riley is the main agent because Reese k wording Clark was an accident but yeah okay anyway

•”I swore that lightning won’t strike twice, and surely this is all under control” oh honey- YOU GOT A BIG STORM COMING

•”This school costs more than I can say, they straight up comped me 60k” HONEY THAT SHOULD’VE BEEN THE WARNING SIGN/FIRST RED FLAG

•”but also I’m afraid I sold my soul” Never would I have thought to comment here and make a connection to Faust but curse that one college course that made me read Faust- I have a feeling Eva would hate Goethe too

•”So I can say no this shit is insane” THE WAY SHE ADDS A BIT OF A GROWL ON “SHIT”

•”Or I can keep my cool and stay in my lane” ME when there was drama on my swim team and I was not living for it and just trying to live my own life

ARE WE READY FOR THE NEXT PART??

AH HERE IT COMES

AND PUT MY POM POMS UP, OH I RA RA RAH AND DISAPPEAR, SHUT UP AND CHEER

•“They won’t even know that I am here” In other situations I would say oof Eva deserves to shine for sure, I mean yeah she only gets like this song but yeah I understand she was the new girl so she only just got there but it makes sense to me and I’m glad Preston put in in the album because it gives us HER perspective like “do you ever look at someone and wonder what is going on inside their head” also maybe it’s a good thing Eva was masking because imagine if Riley went after her next

•”I have worked so hard for so much less” OOOOOOOH TOO RELATABLE, RELATABLE LINE ONCE AGAIN

•”I think maybe every high school is a mess” Eva you couldn’t be more real in this song I swear

•”you want a little structure, you just want a smaller class size, and somehow you have ended up in hell” can also confirm

•”if everyone seems crazy maybe I’m the one who’s crazy” Eva is just so real

•also quick psa, on a musical side note, I LOVE THE PIANO MELODY/RYTHYM IN THIS SONG!!

•”and all of them are doing really well” girl you’re probably the most stable one here tbh

•”or see these goddamn girls won’t get in my way” I kind love how she sings this line, tbh part of me feels like she’s letting some inner Riley out

•“shut up and cheer and back awaaaaaAAAAAaaaAay” YES EVA SING

•”complicated god I know it, I’m afraid but I won’t show it” also a mood

•”I can pray that they’ll outgrow it” Well thank god most of them did (rip we’ll never know about Chess and Farrah if they lived tho)

•”take a chance and make it through the year” LOVE how the instrumental builds up through this section

•”get in the clear” I’m sensing the double meaning here

•”And say that life’s not fair, oh I’ve so been there” who hasn’t tbh

•“Shut up and cheer ready ok”

EVA MY BELOVED. My favorite real icon and to think it started from just delivering pizza. This whole song is just one giant mood. I love it.

[blank1eboi]

so my mom got me into stranger things right. we binged all of s3 today because i'm sick and why not. these characters are giving me brainrot.

steve? gets sillier every scene. what a silly guy. my mom says he and robin look like little sailor babies in their uniforms and i thought that was silly. also? shut up. everyone in this group is a nerd. you are a nerd, just maybe.. not in the same way. ur little car stunt? that poor car but also FUCK YEAH GET EM!

dustin? perfect silly guy and everyone who hurts him makes my blood boil. he just a little guy. he looked so silly in his snow ball outfit. his relationship with steve makes me so happy they r like brothers.

hopper? idiot. silly idiot. why are you emotionally constipated so BAD. at least he is LEARNING how to communicate properly. i'm proud of him. silly guy.

joyce? good mom. im proud of her and she goes through so much shit. i hope she and hopper can properly get their shit together but also kinda not because let me tell u it can be FUNNY. she needs a break i think. give joyce byers a break.

robin? <3 i got so excited when i saw her ace ring my mom had to pause it so i could do a mini-ramble about ace rings. she is also a nerd. she does not act like it at the very beginning of the season but she is SUCH a nerd.

erica? sometimes she can be VERY RELATABLE. very mood and i am happy she is safe. also top tier sibling relationship when she said she believed dustin ab the crazy shit just not that lucas could ever be involved.

nancy? kind of an asshole again but that's ok. she's p chill otherwise and i think she just has too much trauma and isn't very good at handling it. also BAMF. nancy wheeler BAMF and you can rip this from my cold dead hands. her hair looked very pretty this season too. i love her

mrs wheeler? the beginning of the season, that thing with billy? that had me wince quite a few times. icky yucky. but. also good mom at end of it after nancy got fired and just. after the thing with billy she was p cool.

(idk if u can tell but these characters are in ZERO order it's just who is on my mind)

billy? VERY ICKY. s2 and almost all of s3 i had ZERO sympathy for him. then his dad was an ass and when he sacrificed himself because he thought of his mom that was actually like. ouch, but still i hate you. also his hair is ugly change my mind.

max? actually kinda of hated her the first few episodes she was in. like. she was kind of a bitch. she grew on me tho!! and by the time she and el started talking i was happy to see her. she's also. not as whiny as most of the boys in the group so. that was nice and her hair is always cute.

el? able to consistently get on my nerves and make me happy. it's a little funky. GREAT style tho i would steal a lot of her clothes. her relationship with hopper makes me go <3

suzie? did not like, personally, but i wouldn't protest if she showed up again. also if she wasn't annoying and made dustin sing hopper wouldn't have that shit happen to her and i would like her more.

bob? i was sad and i probably cried idr. he grew on me and i think he was sweet. he made joyce happy and he made me happy that he liked to help even when he had no clue what was going on and sometimes his advice didn't work.

mike? whiny bitch. learn how to be a decent friend and i'll give u another thought. why is nothing ever your fault? have you ever considered that it MIGHT be at least partially your fault?? ass.

will? honestly, the kid grows on me. he's always caught up in some shit and its hard to actually get anything from that but what you do get... he mostly seems like a sentimental guy who just wants to play games with his friends. i can respect that.

lucas? if he does dumb shit in s4 i WILL call him out. no hesitation. he is prone to doing dumb shit with zero regard for the consequences it seems. he's at least useful when you need him and can find him.

jonathan? he switches between "oh he's p chill actually" and "JONATHAN WHAT THE FUCK" so. idk. u kno what i mean. he's pretty smart tho he carries the party when they're stressed and i'm proud of him.

um. i think that's it. i started this post the day that i finished s3, got tired and went to bed, and now it is a whole 5 days later and i am one ep off from finishing s4. yay?

[khaleesiofalicante]

I just want you to know that I've been reading IALS and I'm so close to crying every chapter😭😭😭

Howww??? How do you manage to make this sad but beautiful but confusing but amazing???

I like that we are getting more clarity on what happened after he went to Paris and I feel we are close to getting the bigger picture but I might be wrong??

Ugh, I haven't put my thoughts down since like 9 chapters ago so this is a mess but, a little list of what I can remember right now:

I liked Mona, but after he complained about apologizing to AJ I was like "nope:)" bc like, if you can't apologize (and to a kid that was!) That was kinda like a red flag

Jaden. Ugh, I have many different feelings about him. He does loves the kids and David, but also some of the things he has done... Ahhh idk

I actually screamed at the part where David saw Max's pictures with Mallory (I HATE HER!!) and my mother got worried 😂

I love how everyone is a little fucked up in a different way here. I get frustrated by what Max did bc WTF?? I can understand how important that mission was for him, but also....dude??

I also start understanding David better but I also know it doesn't make a lot of his actions right

Can we talk about how Jackson is the MVP here??? Bc I think we should focus on that more

THE QUOTES OMG DON'T GET ME STARTED. I have tons of quotes I love and after this imma go make a collection of them😎

Rosewood having married people problems noo😭 I know that's how it is in real life, but I hate seeing them fight🥺

WHAT IS THE DAUGHTER'S NAME??? WHY IS IT SPOILERY???

The way we don't see a lot on David's POV in the present about his thoughts and feelings and you manage to say a lot and nothing... Wow

Say whatever you want, but I love the way David and Max raise their kids. Shit went down in many ways, but how they raise them and make sure they are safe, comfortable, happy, confident in themselves, make sure they know how proud they are, etc. That's just🥺🥺🥺

Alec wtf are you doing, love? But I also loñike he is straightforward

The difference between past and present- IT JUST MAKES EVERYTHING HURT MOREEE

Goodnight, Mon ange???? EXCUSE ME??? I READ THIS IN CLASS AND ALMLST CRIED AND MY FRIENDS THINK I'M CRAZY 😭 I AM NOT OVER IT!!

He dreamt of white lilies instead of roses!!!! The symbolism here ISTG- (not a fix can go by that we don't have flower symbolism and that's very sexy of you!)

Malec being grandparents. That's it. That's the tweet.

Ok, I thought this was going to be short... Huh. And I haven't even started on specific scenes but no one is stopping me ;)

I am loving the story while it rips my heart out💙

And I also maaay have planned a couple of moadboards

AH LOVE THIS AND LOVE YOU.

also yes the day i do not include flower symbolism in a fic is the day i die 🙃

Thank you for sharing this with me. Really. I needed this today.

AND DO NOT FUCK WITH ME ABT THEM MOODBOARDS.

[youngster-monster]

I HAVE SOME VERY UNFORTUNATE NEWS. when trying to install ffxiv my computer (which historically in spite of being Really Good is actually hellspawn and has so many weird issues with it that naming any one issue without bringing the rest up would be doing the rest of the ridiculous user-specific problems ive had with it dirty) decided that Today Was The Day and started bugging out which includes:

- never showing a progress bar on the install (which i am told Is Not Normal) - not responding to my efforts to fix issues with (what i thought was the problem) the installer - and then, after trying to fix computer issues as a whole, having issues with the graphics card, restarting, having it just straight up not recognize my other monitor as existing, etc...

so ive decided for the sake of my mental health ill be putting a pin in my efforts to play ffxiv, much to mine, my sisters, and what i will assume your dismay

HOWEVER. rest assured i am still very interested in playing The Elf Game (this is what i will be calling it in my brain because now i associate it with elves and there is nothing that can be done to convince me otherwise) and once i am able to troubleshoot it without feeling like my brain is going to explode I Will Try Again

lying on forums is like The experience of being a child with unmonitored internet access, my lore on godawful mc skinning forums had twelve expansions and a dlc to it and so did everyone elses for that matter. forums were a lawless land. maybe they still are but im not on any forums anymore so RIP

my friends too are all freaks which is why they get to see my tumblr. We're All Sickos Here

If I had a nickel for every person I tried to drag into xiv who was stopped by technical difficulties, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but yk

The game isn't going anywhere and I WILL be ready to push you into it like an unsafe uncle pushing a toddler into the pool 😎

Crazy how the more apt to getting around a computer you are the weirder the computer issues become

I'm still on like one forum and it's become much more lawful. 0 tolerance policy on lying about your age though which makes sense but I still feel like it's robbing the Youth from a crucial experience (help a grown man deal with his divorce in between math homeworks)

[kdipshit]

Well I Got The Thing I Needed, I Guess…

I have to learn to do everything my own way, as doing something with someone else’s perspective is just not possible. I have to be difficult all the time huh…

My body stays the same even tho it feels like my brain switches. Perspectives change. Beliefs. Realisations. Like the person I was 1 hour ago was dark and gloomy and quick to anger. irritated. But BPD irritation. I wanted to turn into a tornado and rip thru my entire house taking everyone up in it. Lol. Jk. But fr… and the person I am now is nothing like that. I don’t even think that way at all, why would I even want to it sounds like a war zone over there. Lets remember the parts of ourselves that occupy the body when the body is feeling so dark. She’s still us. Thats still me. Lol how do I say that? Im still me. Thats better. Im so sick of these walls in my brain keeping me from the other sides of myself, I can’t stay in the dark space for very long without scratching my way out. And its painful. Am I supposed to stay in that feeling until it passes? Coz sometimes it feels like it doesn’t fucking end, so I grab my bong and then I’m better. But weed is limited. Sometimes I think ill be better if I was just on the right meds. Im still very upset about my psych trip. And it makes me feel so discouraged to even continue trying…. But. I will keep trying. As long as I have weed to lean on, I’m straight as. But I’m not ignoring the darkness by trying to feel better. I can look at it in another perspective. I gotta do better. I gotta do better. The bruised knuckles do give me character tho. I should message A more quickly next time, she really did an amazing job at switching my perspective, its like she knows exactly how to talk to me. Im so grateful.

+ the weed makes me write better. Its easier to write down the thoughts… I found myself sounding like my hippie ass aunty telling my little sister that thoughts become things lol. Its such a shame that I’m actually crazy because no one really believes me lol. thoughts do become things tho, she was right, I just didn’t see the bigger picture, and I guess no one ever really will until they can for themselves. THANK YOU FOR PAIN. You give your shadow self love by learning how to thank the pain, and the hard journey, and the sleepless nights and teary eyes. Learning better methods, keeping yourself out of thought loops by treating every single day as brand new. Realising no ones got a problem with me lol. Im not a problematic person.

anyways…. Whats been going on wed chyall? Lol imagine all that trauma dumping and then I sip my tea. Your turn aunty. I’m always trine rush finish something because the act of doing something for too long freaks me out. Thats gotta be that ADHD hoe, which will be fixed if I fkn get my right meds bro wtf!!! D: like so much of my problems would be fixed if I just had the fun goddamn meds Jesus FUCK. Is it that hard around here? They think imma pill popper bro won’t even give me valium anymore, dogs. No fkn wonder why I’m smoking like smokey mother fucker, my shits al the way fucked up my boy. Give me the fucking pills lmaoooo. And up them anti-psychotics while your at it lmaoooo.

Does anyone else have conversations with other people in your head? Thats a normal thing right? Well the convos in my head are too quick to for me to write down, but they be having me fucked up on some different shit. I just did it, I just stopped a bad thought for manifesting bigger and replaced it with a better one AS SOON as it appeared. Sometimes I’m not quick enough and it catches me instead. I sat with myself today, I don’t even remember what I wrote in the ideation one. But I remember what mindset I was in, I’m curious to see how honest with myself I was. I can be honest with myself right now and day I don’t think I did good enough. There were times where I was thinking I really don’t wanna do this anymore. I forgot what I needed to remember, which was to redirect all go those feelings into positive ones, I know these things, but at some point, every emotion on peak feels the same, so I was historically crying on the way home, recklessly, because I forgot to remind myself, to switch the thought, look at everything else thats good, and setback or something super annoying happening is because your energy is needed elsewhere!! Butterfly effect, nothing in the end is bad. Its just a redirection, stop being so controlling, and let it be, let it flow, while you only control yourself, your reactions and your thoughts. Thoughts determine emotions, and emotions are my kryptonite.

The problem is my thought patter, and how it recycles the same 10-30 sentences over and over again. Some fkn crazy delulu, some that genuinely make sense cuz, and then the same normal other shit, right???? lol. Idk what I’m saying anymore but sometimes I ramble write (all the time) and I read it back and its dope as fuck and I actually make sense.

My poor knuckles are busted all because I knocked and no one answered. Well nah fuck, it was that, and then it was the non answered door last week too, its the non answered phone calls its the non answered emails like broooo. Should not be this hard to see a psychiatrist in my city I swear to god. Without weed I’m completely self destructive, I need to build my strength on my other positive coping mechanisms because typing really hurts. And I love to write. Self destructive me is very overwhelmed and unsure how to untangle everything so everything comes out as a big fat cry.

[gothamgangbanger]

talk about bruce wayne

warnings: cursing

summary: crime in gotham is at an all time high, and at the worst possible time you were photographed by the journalists with none other than bruce wayne. they just so happened to make your relationship status public. bruce doesn't trust you to be out alone but doesn't want the press to be anymore exhausting so he makes you wear some gear in case you get into trouble, what he didn't expect was how you talked about him. (1.6k words)

authors note: there was a tiktok audio i heard today and it made me think of this

“Is this really necessary? I’m just picking up my dress that you ripped.” You rolled your eyes and sighed after speaking as Bruce corrected the earpiece that you apparently had put in improperly.

“Look at me.” He ignored your question, leaning down to look into your eyes bouncing between the two of them.

“Yes because I am sure the seamstress’s shop is the center of crime.” Having half a mind to just turn around and walk away, you stood there knowing he wasn’t gonna let you leave without knowing that everything was properly placed.

“Is there something in your eye or am I walking in on something else?” Alfred peeped from around the corner and started speaking.

“No, Bruce just wants to play Spy Kids because I am going two blocks away. Soon I’m gonna be walking around with Batman chasing me everywhere I go.” You huffed turning on your heels as soon as he nodded his head and took his hand off of your face.

“Seems like you already do.” Alfred showed you the newspaper that had both of your faces front and center on the front cover.

“He’s never gonna leave the house again without his mask if they keep this up. Though that is actually a good picture.” You leaned over and spoke to Alfred smiling.

“Maybe we should cut it out and frame it.” You heard Bruce make noise in annoyance as you laughed and nodded at the man in the chair.

“Absolutely, perfect example, he’s scowling and I’m smirking.” You patted Alfred’s shoulder before standing up straight again, “I’ll be back in less than fifteen minutes so no one panic.” You put your hands up and walked towards and then out the door.

Walking down the street nothing abnormal was happening which was odd for Gotham but at least Bruce wouldn’t have a freakout, dress up, and run out to save you from anything. As you walked down the street you pulled your coat closer to your body as most of the people around you were looking at you up and down. Your nerves rose a bit as more eyes connected with yours or just simply your passing form.

As you crossed the street and stepped onto the other concrete sidewalk a voice echoed through your ear, “Can you hear me?”

You yelped to a point that it could almost be considered a scream before registering the voice, “Bruce, stop it.” you spoke in a hushed voice that was coated with sheer irritation, “Everyone is already looking at me the last thing I need is for people to think I’m talking to myself like a crazy person.”

You could hear him snicker a little as you picked up your footing not wanting a longer conversation or having to deal with eyes following you around.

Walking into the small shop right in the middle of many others a small bell rang from the door, without having to speak the woman behind the counter walked away into the back to get your belongings. There were other people in the small area just sitting around, some waiting on their garments to be done while others were sewing or stitching patterns into clothes. But everyone came to a halt when they recognized who you were. And anyone who didn’t get quickly informed.

“So you’re real?” One of the women waiting spoke to you.

“Yeah.” You spoke quickly trying to avoid conversation, shoving your hands into the thick pockets of your coat.

“Wow, the woman who wooed the trust fund prince. Never thought I’d see you without him, but then again he doesn’t really come out much.” She spoke again leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms.

“Wonder why.” You turned and spoke to her sarcastically as you shook your head hoping that she would recognize the fact that the moment you walked in you were being eyeballed and asked questions.

“We’ve never actually seen him until you popped up.” Another woman spoke up from the left side of the first woman who piped up.

You had no comment, there was no way in hell you were gonna be the reason for angry women in a dress shop at 11 o'clock in the morning.

“What color are his eyes?” Turning around again one of the seamstresses from behind you had asked an innocent question.

“I don’t know, he wears shades all the time, even in the house.” You weren’t lying, most of the time he acted like light scared him, clearly, they weren’t going to stop talking and you were in a tight space.

“Is he tall?” The woman whose blouse was being fixed asked the next question.

“I gotta look up.” You smirked and shrugged your shoulders. This could actually get interesting. You thought to yourself.

“Are you having fun?” Bruce spoke into your ear as you laughed a little to yourself.

“Well, I hear that he’s a bad guy.” The same negative Nelly from earlier decided to pipe up and put her input where it wasn’t needed yet again.

“He’s good-bad, but he’s not evil. More grumpy than bad.” Holding your smirk you thought about how much Bruce had to be hating this.

“Does he ever smile?” Before the rude woman could say anything else her seamstress asked you another question.

“Rare occasion but yes he does, especially-” Before you could finish your sentence Bruce spoke in your ear again, “If you’re thinking about finishing that sentence the way I think you are do not.”

“Especially at night, he’s not much for sleep.” You changed your original answer trying to stay as honest as possible. But adding a little wink that Bruce couldn’t see, but from the look on some of the women's faces he could probably figure it out.

“Y/n L/n?” The woman from the counter had come back from the back.

“Here you go.” You pulled the money from your pocket as it was latched with a golden keeper.

“That was quite a bad rip, luckily it was able to be completely fixed.” She smiled at you as you took the dress off the counter.

“Too much fun is never a bad thing, thank you so much.” You smiled back at her nodding as the women around you gasped and began to whisper amongst themselves.

Your walk home was almost identical to the walk there, but you were less concerned with everyone else’s reactions to your presence. You were more pleased with what you had just done, and you were happy to have your dress back. Opening the door you sat your dress down and took off your coat hanging it where it belonged.

“I’m back and alive.” You shouted as you saw no one from where you were taking off your shoes, picking the dress up again as you continued your walk through the manor.

“I hear you talk highly of Mr. Wayne while you’re out.” Alfred approached you first taking the dress from you, no matter how many times you told him that you could do simple tasks he never let you.

“Oh dear god, is he ready to kill me.” You laughed and walked with Alfred a bit concerned.

“I had to hold back laughter sitting there listening, you are quite swift when put on the spot.” He laughed a bit as you looked over at him wide-eyed.

“One of my many skills I must say.” As you finished your sentence Bruce stood next to all of his spy equipment staring at you. “The man of the hour looks happy.” You whispered to Alfred before he laughed quietly and walked away.

“Hello sweetheart, how are you?” You started the conversation by walking over to him not wanting to take the earpiece out incorrectly.

“Apparently I’m grumpy.” He mumbled as he stood cross-armed.

“You wouldn’t let me tell them when you’re not grumpy.” You retorted back turning your head to the side touching the top of your ear to signal for him to take out the annoying technology in your ear.

He placed a hand on the underside of your jaw as his other hand took the earpiece out with ease.

“Are you mad at me? You’re kind’ve hard to gauge emotion-wise.” Whispering you looked down at your feet like a little kid.

“No.” He spoke curtly but lifted your head up in his hands to look at him, his eyes were soft and so was his face. He wasn’t clenching his jaw or scowling, which were all good signs. “You talk about me often?”

“You always seem to pop up in conversation.” You smirked at him pretending to have to think about what he had asked.

“Clearly.” Keeping your face in his hands you expected him to take the contacts out of your eyes but instead, he leaned down and kissed you.

“You’re so mysterious people don’t even know what color your eyes are.” You put a hand on his chest and laughed, putting your head down a little bit.

“You know what color they are. That’s good enough for me.” Bruce played into your laughing and joking around.

“Don’t worry, you heard me, I didn't tell on you.” The two of you laughed together as you stood there in close contact, “I’ll never tell on you.”

“I know.” With that being said he pulled you into a hug making you put your arms around his body and lean into the sound of his heartbeat. He might’ve been a grumpy man who wore sunglasses inside the house but he was your grumpy man who wore sunglasses in the house and that was made clear in photos and now to whoever those women in the dress shop spoke to…

[beels-burger-babe]

Beelzebub's Very Bad No Good Day

***So this is the new format in which I'll be answering requests. In my experience, actual posts get spread further than asks do, so this will hopefully help with that. ANYWAY, I am crazy excited about this request as a major Beel simp and YES I will proudly do this request! Thank you @sinnoman for blessing me with it. -B*** Summary: Beel doesn't get anything to eat one day, and it doesn't go well for anybody.

From the moment Beelzebub woke up, he knew that today was going to be a terrible day. For starters, he had apparently raided the fridge in his sleep the night before, so there was not a crumb left in the house for anyone to make breakfast with. Most of the others had gone and grabbed something from Hell's Kitchen on their way to class, but poor Beel had slept through his alarm due to the food coma his nighttime snack had put him in and had to rush to RAD. The entire school was talking about the monster that they believed had awoken beneath the school. Teachers were on edge ready to evacuate the premises for the earthquake they believed to be happening. Beel avoided eye contact, blushing as his empty stomach continued to rumble and roar throughout the day. He ended up eating a few pencils just to get it to quiet down and even that didn't have much effect. The Avatar of Gluttony nearly cried tears of relief when the lunch bell rang. But it seemed that fate was not his friend that day. He was going to order a gargantuan-sized Little Devil mango slushy, a side of Hellfire curry rice, fried shadow bat, and 108 seed salad and the main course of at least twenty shadow hog burgers with three servings of caramel shadow tart for dessert. Beel was drooling at just the thought of it. He was almost at the ordering station when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Beel growled and turned around, baring his teeth at whoever dared to disturb him.

Belphegor narrowed his eyebrows in concern. "Woah. Beel, relax. It's just me. We've got a student council meeting, and Lucifer has threatened to take away supper from whoever skips out." Beelzebub scoffed as the air around him darkened at the mention of someone taking food away from him. "I'd like to see him try." Belphie raised an eyebrow at his twin's uncharacteristically grumpy behaviour. "Are you alright, Beel?" As though to answer his question, Beel's stomach let out another loud roar, causing several students to flinch and Beel to scowl in frustration. "I'm hungry." Belphie's frown deepened. Beel was always hungry, but he didn't usually let it get to him like this. The younger twin rifled through his own bag before pulling out an obviously full paper bag. "You can have my lunch if you want. I ate a little bit of it during class and swiped a bagel from Mammon during the first period, so I'm not all that-" Before he could finish Beel ripped the bag out of Belphie's hands and devoured it, bag and all. Belphie blinked at his now empty hand and chuckled as Beel chewed. "Man, you must be starving huh?"

Beelzebub merely grunted and continued to chew before swallowing down the small meal. He glanced back at the lineup in the cafeteria and put a hand on his stomach as he thought about the lunch he should be enjoying. Belphie nudged him. "Come on, big guy. We got to get to that meeting. The sooner we get it over with, the more likely it is that we'll end early and you might be able to grab something before class starts again." Only the meeting was not short and quick like Belphie had said it might be. Diavolo wanted everyone to come up with an idea for a school fundraiser, and Lucifer was arguing with Asmodeus on what was and was not appropriate. To make matters worse, you were unable to attend as, according to Mammon, your charms professor had asked you to stay behind afterwards to discuss your progress in the class. The bickering on top of the lack of food in his stomach was giving Beel a migraine and the longer he sat there, the more irritable he had become. Eventually, it became too much and he snapped. "ENOUGH!" he bellowed, flipping the table as he stood. "No one cares about the stupid fundraiser anyway and you're just wasting all of our time arguing over something that will inevitably fall apart and cause an even bigger mess, just like it always does!" "Beelzebub! Watch your tone in front of-" "Shut it, Lucifer!" his brother's gaped at him in shock as he snarled at their elder. "I am sick and tired of you pushing us all around and punishing us when the slightest thing goes wrong just because you-" Beel poked Lucifer's chest hard enough to make him take a step back, "won't take responsibility for your own mistakes!" "Oh shit," Mammon whispered under his breath, as Lucifer's eyes narrowed and his body tensed in defence. The second-born quickly squeezed his way between the two of them and spread his arms to try and create some distance. "Okay! Tensions are high. People are upset. But this is not the place to brawl it out." he glanced over at Lucifer who looked like he was a second away from stringing him up to the ceiling. "Might I remind ya Lord Diavolo is still in the room?" Lucifer looked over at Diavolo, who appeared to be both hurt and concerned by Beelzebub's words, before sighing and fixing his composure. He gave Beel a hard look. "Obviously something is upsetting you, but we can discuss this at home. For the time being, I recommend you work on calming yourself and clearing your head." Beel just growled at him before stomping out of the student council room. He had been about to re-enter the cafeteria again when the bell rang signalling the end of lunch hour. Beelzebub felt his eye twitch before his demon form burst into existence. He let out a deafening scream as he grabbed a table and threw it across the room (students still seated on it, included). Students were yelling and scrambling like mice as the large demon rampaged through the halls. He tore the locked grate off of the serving station and grabbed the nearest server by the scruff of the collar, causing them to squeak in fear. "I'm hungry," Beel rumbled lowly as the demon trembled in his hands. "Get me something to eat now or I will not hesitate to eat you." "R-R-Right away, Beelzeb-b-bub." Beel carelessly dropped the demon, who scattered off to gather as much food as they could. He began pacing like a caged animal. Having been alerted by all the noise, his brothers and Diavolo rushed into the nearly destroyed cafeteria. Diavolo's jaw dropped. "Beelzebub, what's the meaning of all this?" Beel's famished brain didn't acknowledge Diavolo as an authority at the moment. Instead, he was yet another person trying to keep him from eating. "I need food. NOW!" Lucifer's eyes widened in realization as he whispered something to Diavolo. The prince nodded and took a step back. "I'm sure the cooks are doing all they can to get you food right away. But I need you to control yourself before I am forced to take action." Satan had his phone out and was urgently texting someone, as Belphie moved forward.

"You'll get your food shortly Beel. You just need to wai-" "I don't want to wait!!" There was a part of Beelzebub's brain that was aware he was acting like a child. But his stomach physically hurt from how empty it was. He was tired. He was starving. He didn't have the patience for pleasantries. "I've barely eaten anything all day, and people keep staring and talking about me because my stomach just will not stop growling and I'm so hungry that I can barely think straight! I hate it! But I know it won't go away unless I eat, so I NEED TO EAT!" The brothers looked at Beel in shock. They knew that he ate a lot, but they always passed it off as just another quirk that made him Beel. They didn't know it bothered him like this. They thought back on all the instances where Beel had stated that he was hungry out of nowhere, always with a distressed look on his face. Every single time they had brushed him off. Before any of them could respond, you casually walked into the war zone that was the cafeteria. "Alright Satan, what's so urgent that you needed me so badly?" The room fell quiet as everyone's attention snapped over to you and you took in the situation. It didn't take long for you to connect the dots.

You immediately began to rush over to Beelzebub; Mammon stepped forward to stop you. "Woah, MC! I don't think that's a good idea right now!"

You ignored him and continued to make your way to Beel. Seeing you, the small human that you were, made Beel realize just how reckless he had been acting. He held out his hands to stop you and took a step away. "You should listen to Mammon, MC. I-I haven't eaten all day and I-" "You haven't eaten all day?! Oh god, this is worst than I thought." Beel watched as you slid the oversized backpack that he had seen you carry around RAD with you every day off your back and begin to dump out the contents. In a second, dozens of bags of chips, candy, fruits, and other snacks spilled across the floor in front of the two of you. Beel didn't waste a single moment. He instantly began consuming the snacks, causing you to smile happily. "Wha-What?! MC?! Why the hell do you have that much food on ya?!" Mammon sputtered as he cautiously began to approach you. You shrugged. "Beel gets upset when he's hungry, and I don't like it when he's upset. So I stocked up on some of his favourite snacks a while back and always keep them on me just in case," Beel paused his eating to look up at you in awe, "He can't help that he's always hungry. It's not like he asked to be the Avatar of Gluttony." Suddenly there were a pair of arms wrapped around your waist. Lucifer, Levi, and Mammon called out your name as Beel pulled you tightly against his chest. You just grinned and hugged the friendly giant back. "Thank you," he whispered softly into your hair, his arms tightening around you just a little more. "There's nothing to thank me for." As Beel finally began to calm down, the cooks came out with platters of food and shakily laid them out around you and Beel before taking cover back into the kitchen. Seeing that the threat had passed, the other brothers began to approach as well. "You know Beel, I didn't know you had that much pent-up anger inside of you. It was terrifying!" Asmodeus chirped as he plopped down beside the two of you.

"Yeah! You were just like the antagonist in My Boyfriend Turned Into a Cannabilistic Rage Monster, And Now I Have to Stop Him From Devouring The Whole City!!!" Levi began to ramble about specific scenes from the show that matched perfectly with Beel's rampage, causing Beel to blush as he munched on a burger. Belphie sighed and elbowed Beel as he took his seat at his side. "We'll have to make sure that MC's always around you. Just in case you know?" he smiled softly, before looking at his twin with a more serious expression. "You should've told me about all that stuff you said earlier. I had no idea you felt that away about your appetite." Beel looked away uncomfortably as he took another bite of his food and avoided the question. You snuggled closer to him, to provide him with some comfort. Satan tapped his chin as he watched the group. "I'm sure we could talk with Barbatos and come up with some sort of high-protein shake or bar that would better satisfy you. That way you wouldn't have to eat as much." Lucifer glanced over at Diavolo, silently asking if it was a possibility. The prince smiled warmly. "I'll have Barabatos begin working on something right away." Forgetting all about class and the anger that had previously consumed him, Beel looked around at his family. A warm feeling blossomed in his stomach as he felt content with the rare care and affection that they were openly showing. Maybe it had something to do with the thirty burgers he had already ate, but for just a second, Beel didn't feel so hungry anymore. ***Boy that got a little angsty there for a second, but I hope this was to your liking @sinnoman! I definitely enjoyed writing this one, and I think it made me fall in love with my boy Beel even more 🥰*** TAGLIST: @vampwiire @bunna-does-stuff

[likeitloveitblogit]

Just Hold Me

I had a dream that got stuck in my brain, so I decided to turn it into a Loki x fem!reader fanfic. Here it is. Please be gentle this is the first but of my writing I've shared.

Pairing: Loki x fem!reader

Summary: After a rough battle fighting with the Avengers you skip the party to recover in your room at the Avengers tower. There you're visited by a drunk Thor and a comforting Loki.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warning: non consensual kissing, mention of assault, pain, mention of death, they all need therapy

What to expect: Me turning a dream into a Loki fluff therapy session.

From your room in the Avengers tower you could still hear the sounds of the party. Another victory for the team meant another raging party to celebrate. You loved a good party, but you had taken a few too many hits during the mission and had chosen to head back to your room.

A knock sounded at your door, "Y/N, are you there?" You heard the gruff voice of Thor.

The god of thunder and his brother Loki had become members of the team after defeating the Dark Elves in London. There had been a drunken night when Loki confessed to you he had considered faking his own death and stealing the throne of Asgard. But Loki had chosen to help fight, winning the battle and the approval of the Avengers. Not everyone had accepted them completely, but you understand that people were capable of change and had become friends with the pair.

"Y/N?!?" Thor called again, pounding a little harder on the door.

You rise from your bed and walk to the door, opening it you find a very clearly drunk Thor. It took a great deal of drinking to get the god drunk. You chuckle thinking about how much he must have consumed, but then notice that his eyes are full of tears.

"Thor, what's wrong?"

"Can I come in?"

Normally you didn't let anyone into your room. You were a fairly open person, happy to share, but your room was your safe place to get away and recharge. Standing there, leaning slightly against your door frame Thor looked completely broken, so you open the door and gesture for him to enter. Leaving the door open you follow Thor into the room.

You weren't sure how to handle having a guest in your room. But Thor walked over and sat on your bed, like he owned the place. "I'm sorry to bother you, I just, I was at that party and everything was good. You know we had that Asgardian wine brought in, so much better than anything here on Midgard. But then I saw a woman in the crowd that looked just like her. And I thought, I don't know, I thought maybe she had only faked it, maybe she'd just been lost and now she'd come to find me. I ran over to her, but the woman was just some stranger."

From your spot learning against the wall you asked, "Who do you mean? Jane?"

"Ha, I've lost her too. I seem to lose everyone I care about. But no. I thought I saw my mother"

That broke your heart. That same drunken night when Loki had confessed thinking of faking his own death, you two had also talked about Frigga's death. Unsure how to comfort the god then you had sat with Loki, holding his hand while he cried. Loki had been so close with Frigga, a part of Loki had changed when the guard had delivered the news of her death. Being in prison unable to even attend the funeral had stirred a desire to be a better person in Loki.

Even though you had seen Loki's grief, somehow Thor had seemed stronger, less affected, but Frigga was his mother, too. The loss of a parent is a terrible thing to deal with no matter how strong of a person you might appear to be. And clearly alcohol made the Asgardians emotional wrecks, because here now was the god of thunder sitting on your bed, body racking with sobs.

You sat down next to Thor, reaching to take his hand. Instead Thor pulled you into a crushing hug. Your first instinct was to pull away from the pain, you had really taken a beating in that fight. But Thor was your friend and he was hurting inside, so you relaxed. Rubbing circles on his back, you whispered "it's ok, you're ok" while you let him cry on your shoulder. The two of you sat like that for a long while before Thor released his hold on you.

You were about to ask Thor if he was feeling better, when he looked down at you and leaned in to kiss you. A million thoughts ran through your brain all at once. Fear struck you the strongest, and you scrambled away, backing up until your back was against the headboard. "What are you doing?"

"Um, kissing you," Thor said as he crawled toward you, hovering over you he leaned to try and kiss you.

"Well, stop it" you put your arms in front of your face trying to push him away. "Stop it, stop it, stop it"

Thor's strong arms easily push your own hands out of the way. But just as Thor leaned in towards you, he was ripped from on top of you.

Frightened, you look up to see Loki shoving Thor away, placing himself between you and Thor. "The lady told you to stop. What has gotten into you brother?"

"You don't know anything stupid brother, just leave us alone" Thor lunges for Loki, but Thor is still far too intoxicated to stand a chance in a fight. Loki easily pushes back and Thor nearly crashes into the wall.

Before Thor can lunge again Loki summons a pair of daggers and points then at Thor. "Brother you're drunk. You need to calm down. I don't want to hurt you, but if you try to hurt Y/N, I'll have no choice."

"Brother you wouldn't dare."

Loki points the daggers more directly at Thor "I don't know what is happening here but you know that I will do anything to defend a lady's honor."

"Oh, so you're just such a hero now? A perfect little prince charming? You're not defending anything. You're just jealous because Y/N invited me into her room and not you."

You stand up, careful to stay behind Loki. "Thor, nothing was going to happen between us. You came to me, crying and I offered you a hand to hold because I knew you missed your mother. You hugged me and I let you because you are my friend. But that's it. You are my friend and I don't want any more than that. You should thank Loki for keeping you from doing something you'd have regretted."

"You think I'd regret kissing you?"

"No, I think you'd regret kissing someone who didn't want to be kissed. You'd regret taking advantage of someone you cared about."

"I, I thought you'd want to kiss me"

"You buffoon, not everyone wants to have their face crushed in by your giant head."

"Hush Loki," you walk toward Thor, Loki tries to pull you back behind him but you touch his arm gently, and step forward. "Thor you know I do care about you, but I don't feel that way about you. Look, I know you have had a lot to drink tonight. And you have a lot of emotions running through you. I mean you thought you saw your mother, that has to be really hard to deal with. But you made a mistake."

"I thought, I just. Uh, I'm sorry"

"I know. Right now I think it is best if you go back to your room, get some sleep, and we can talk more in the morning, once you're sober."

"But,"

"You heard her brother. She is giving you a very generous offer. If you don't accept and leave now, I will make you. And I won't be nice about it."

With a final look at you, Thor leaves your room.

Once Loki is sure that Thor is gone, he sets his daggers down and turns to you. You register that he chose to set them down rather than magic then away, but chart it away as a question for later.

Approaching you, hands raised like you are an animal he is afraid to spook Loki asks, "Y/N, are you ok?"

"Yes, yes. I'm fine." Which is a lie, you're anything but ok. Unsteady on your feet, you nearly collapse.

Loki reaches to catch you and leads you to sit on the bed, "oh Y/N, what did he do to you? I'll kill him if he has hurt you."

"Thank you, but I'm actually just a little worse off than I thought from that fight today. All this has just made me extra aware of how tired I am."

"I'll go get Banner or Strange, or one of the others."

"No," you reach and grab onto his arm.

He looks down at the way your hands tremble as they hold onto his arm. "But, Y/N, you are unwell."

"I'm not sick. I'm not injured, well not more than normal after a fight. I'm just tired. Honest."

"Well then I'll leave you to rest"

But you only hold more tightly, "please don't"

"Don't what?" His breath catches as he looks down into your eyes.

"Please don't leave me. I don't, I don't want to be alone right now."

"Ok, I'll stay." Loki sits next to you, shifting his arm to take your hand. You rest your head on his shoulder and look at the interlocking of your fingers with his.

"Thank you."

"Thor is a buffoon, but I don't think he meant to harm you. He's not used to anyone not wanting him. Not that what he did was ok. I'm not trying to say it was ok."

"Loki, I know. I understand that he was hurting. And I guess I'm a beacon of comfort and he mistook that for romantic attraction. Honestly I think he would have stopped once he realized what he was doing. But I'm still so glad you were there."

Despite Loki's comforting hold, and the circles he was tracing with his long thumb, your hands still shook. "Y/N is there something more bothering you?"

Tears pricked the corners of your eyes. "When I saw your brother crawling towards me, I got so scared. I didn't see Thor, my friend. I saw that crazy guy from the factory today."

You could feel the moment the switch clicked and rage burned in Loki, "Wait did something happen? I don't remember a guy. Did this guy…, did he …, do something to you? I will end him."

"Oh Loki, my sweet murderous Loki. You actually already did."

"What?"

"You probably don't even remember, it was the heat of the battle. I'd gone in to clear the next room when I got knocked down and bumped my head. When I woke up, one of the baddies was dragging me by my ankle into the office, muttering about a sweet reward. How much fun he was going to have with me. He was reaching for me when you stormed in. I don't think you even saw me behind the desk, but you grabbed the guy before he could touch me. I didn't see what you did to him, but I heard it and it sounded very bloody."

"Oh gods, Y/N, I had no idea you were there in the back office. That guy looked deranged, even if we hadn't all been given orders to kill on sight I would have killed that man. If I'd known you were there I'd have made sure you were ok."

"I hid under the desk until you'd left and then I ran straight back to the jet. I felt so bad for not helping more with the fight, but…"

"Y/N, no one would ever blame you for running. That's not something anyone should have to face. Oh gods, and then my stupid brother had to come in and loom over you."

"He didn't know."

"No but that doesn't mean it wasn't terrifying, just the same."

You can't find the right words, and simply give a small nod. After a second of silence the question pops back into your brain. "Why did you leave your daggers on my nightstand? Why didn't you magic then away like you normally do?"

"Oh, uh, I was going to offer to let you borrow them. Just in case Thor tried to come back and visit."

"That's really sweet, but I've never been good with knives. I don't know if I'd even know what to do with them."

"Hmm well is there anything I can do to make you feel safer?"

There was a moment when you thought about saying, no. Telling Loki you'd be safe with his daggers, and sending him back to his room. But you couldn't do it. You could not send Loki away. Not when he felt like the only safe thing in the world. A breath of air after you'd been drowning all night. So you asked what you really wanted, not caring that it made you feel vulnerable.

"Can you hold me?"

"Are you sure you want that?"

"Yes I'm sure. I mean if you don't want to, I won't make you."

Loki gingerly wraps his arms around you, until you squeeze him half to death and he returns with a proper hug. Still holding you he says "I just didn't know if you'd want to be touched after… today and then my brother"

"You are not a brutish villain and you are not your brother. Do not take this as anything but a compliment, but right now the fact that you're not a big oversized muscle man is really comforting. And well neither men got the chance to do anything because of you."

"Y/N, I am so sorry you had to go through all of this. But I'm really happy that you find me comforting. I have done some terrible things that I deeply regret. And I've been afraid for so long that I'd never be able to find someone who felt safe around me."

"Everyone in this tower has done things that they can't take back. Things they regret. Including myself." You breathe in the scent of Loki, winter frost mixed with leather and metal, wondering when that scent had become so comforting to you. "But for right now, your arms feel like home and I don't want to ever leave."

"I will be here to hold you as long as you need."

"I'm going to take you up on that offer, because I might have a concussion, so you're going to have to watch me to make sure I don't die while I sleep."

"Humans are far too fragile."

"That we are. But that's an issue to deal with another day. Right now I just need you to hold me." You whisper as you lie yourself down, pulling Loki down with you. Carefully he wraps his arms around you pulling your little spoon body against his own big spoon body. Listening intently to your breathing as you drift asleep, Loki decides that he never wants to stop holding you.

[mrpenguinpants]

Genshin: University AU [V1]

I love modern au. Or any “everything is fine, no one died, it’s just a fever dream” au. Half of me is thinking, damn maybe I should answer this serious- LOL HAHA no. That’s not happening. Time to crack my knuckles and let my brainworms take over again.

Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. I want to switch up my characters from the last brainworm post but I included Kaeya and Diluc.

---

Today’s appreciation post goes to twistedwishes. Hey! I’ve been seeing you pop up a lot lately and thanks for the support 💕💕 I hope things are going better for you and you’re doing alright^^ I feel kinda bad for making appreciation posts on crack fics but hopefully this is somewhat funny haha. 

---

Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: Roommate [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

---

[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

  @mikeysbike @hanniejji@unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @dandelily @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife  @dokidokisama @simpygrimoire @minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki​

---

Diluc

Absolute pretty boy who has braincells, but only if Kaeya is not there. In his mind, Kaeya’s presence makes his room loose 40% of their common sense. He can’t prove it just yet but he’s working on it. He majors in accounting but also has a minor in marketing, logistics’ management, fia- he majors everything business related. He’s going to become the next Elon Musk through smarts or by getting the competition drunk. There can be no contest if he’s the only candidate. He’s actually a hard working guy that overworks and stresses way too much. You have daily “Diluc recharge” evenings where he just hangs onto you while you go through your day.

“Don’t fucking talk to me until I’ve had my coffee,” except there is no coffee - he drinks grape juice out of juice boxes and his only energy boost is when he meets up with you - and that’s his constant mood. So he usually only hangs around you and Jean, since she has childhood friend status and is actually an angel. By default, Lisa is added and Diluc doesn’t mind her but if he see’s Kaeya, it’s full on war paint mode. If he's not busy with work or studies, he's usually with you either in your dorm or his apartment.

He has a fanclub and he seriously hates it and tries to do everything in his power to get Ningguang to take it down. Shouldn’t this be against his rights? But she refuses for whatever reason and makes a whole speech about free will. No matter what he does, someone manages to take a picture and it get’s printed in the university’s newspaper. The only bonding time he has with Kaeya is every Monday, where they collect and burn all the universities newspapers before anyone can get their hands on it. You always bring marshmallows to make smores during their arson activities.

“When I graduate I’m going to burn this school down to the ground. That’s not a threat it’s a promise.”

Ningguang

Is secretly the leader of the Diluc fanclub - not that she likes Diluc, she’s in a questionable platonic poly marriage with you and Beidou - but it was the easiest way to gain funds for the student council. Which she is the president of, so rip Diluc the fanclub stays. Ruthless business woman I tell you. But she can run in heels so her danger factor rises by at least 20%.

Majors in social sciences and law but more specifically the political science & government. She saw the Imperial State Crown that the Queen of England wears and says yes, that’s mine now. If she’s not with Beidou and you planning on “how to infiltrate the state government just for lols”, then she’s with Keqing, Ganyu, and Zhongli discussing student council things. Should they or should they not tell the student body that they can see everyone’s search results? Sit back and relax as the school goes into chaos. 

She’s probably the scariest person on campus No, she is the scariest person on campus. She’s the scariest person on campus. But secretly she’s popping 20 aspirins just to make it through a night. She has the digestive system of steel. She still holds the title of "seriously do not try and beat her in a drinking game it's never going to happen" and that's her proudest achievement in life but sadly she can’t put it on her resume. Kaeya is still trying to beat her out of spite but so far it hasn't been working. You’re seriously concerned for her when she get’s challenged but Beidou gives you a way-to-hard slap on the back and cheers her on. If Ninngguang somehow get’s alcohol poisonings she’ll somehow find away to make a profit out of it.

"I'll let him die, I'll get the insurance money."

Kaeya

One day he chugged too much mouth wash, passed out, and somehow woke up in university majoring in law. His idea is that if he is apart of the law, he can therefore stand above it. To be fair, his only goal in life is to say “I am the manager” and he can go live the rest of his life in bliss or as a hermit. He’s secret best friends with you but wouldn't be caught dead beside you. He will stab a bitch if you ever get hurt but will still trip you on the way home. Seriously, you have no idea why people find him attractive. Your guess is it’s the eye patch or the clap of his ass cheeks that keeps alerting everyone.  

He’s apart of the newspaper club and if anyone asks: No, he has no idea who keeps taking all the newspapers and burns them in the back of the campus. Originally, he joined because he was nosy and needed to join some type of club for his resume. He sometimes feels bad for his junior assistant Amber because he keeps tricking her and says that Diluc is secretly a demon that is trying to steal all the jobs and is apart of the lizard government hell bent on eradicating the human race. He even brought out a whiteboard for this joke, he’s dedicated to his job ok? 

The type of guy to try and be humble and say his work is “okay” but will choke a bitch if anyone agrees. He tends to leave everything last minute and says that it’s his drug since actual drugs could land you one year in prison and a maximum penalty of $2,000. You have to awkwardly hold in your concerned mother head shake when you see him speed running his assignment literally right when the professor is walking around to check if students finished. 

“I was taught how to lead not to read.”

Mona

Broke wallet #2. Zhongli is broke wallet #1 but Childe simps for him so is he really a broke wallet at this point? In this essay, I Mona Megistus, will explain why I have the rights to the title “Broke Wallet #1″...

Believes that astrology should be an actual career path but refuses to take astronomy as her major. I can read the stars not a textbook that tells me how to calculate the mass of the sun divided by the fucks I give. Instead she went into Philosophy and cries to Albedo, who is an actual prodigy genius- sir lend some braincells to everyone else please?, that her professor keep turning her paper down because “star reading” is not an academic source.

Fischl wants her to join the occult club because, surprisingly, Mona is very good at telling people’s fates through her crayon sketch ouija board. She thinks first year Fischl is cute but is put off by the cosplay roleplay that she has going on. She would join except that stupid hat wearing gremlin in her lit class would make fun of her if he found out.

You gave her half your lunch one day and bought her a doughnut "because she seemed upset" and "out of the goodness of your heart" whatever the hell that means. She thinks you pensioned it but once that thought comes she takes a bite. Poison from a doughnut is not the worst way to go out, classes are hard enough. She’s waiting for the lord to strike her down anyways. 

“Its not about passing, its about doing better than everyone else.”

Venti

Slept through most of highschool and people question how he got into university. He’s a music major (wow how fucking original is that), and if anyone asks him to serenade someone or just do anything, he’ll do it for the right price. Or if you buy him alcohol because he still keeps getting ID checked. He’s banking on Kaeya actually becoming a lawyer or being on good terms with Diluc so he can finally stop being arrested for looking like a toddler.

Takes one step into classes and quickly nopes out and goes back to bed. Professors have no idea how he hasn't dropped out or failed. He just has some god given talent. He does whine at you to pretty pretty please with a cherry on top tutor him because you're such an angel and would never leave your poor but awesome best friend hanging right? He needs to get this essay down but how he is suppose to explain how the number 10 is symbolic and connects to the universe or the meaning of life. Do you think he can just say it’s apart of his culture and make up some random myth to pretend it looks like he knows what he’s doing? 

He’s honestly going with the flow and put his brain on the back burner all of highschool and only now realizes wait, I actually have to use my brain?

He’s been banned from most club chats since Venti has the no chill card. Someone says “lol I look ugly today.” and he’ll respond "yup, you look like a cow." and he get’s banned. Zhongli keeps a speed run timer on his phone just to document these occasions.

"Sad spelled backwards is das and das how it be sometimes."

Childe

An actual dumbass that somehow does well. He eats sandwiches with the crust off, this heathen. Surprisingly he’s studying to become a physical therapist but most of his experience has come from breaking his own bones. You’re scared how he's going to be if he actually becomes a therapist. If he'll make bets with his patients or try to one up whatever crazy injury they get into. Everything is a challenge to him that sometimes the best way to deal with Childe is to knock him out. 

This man really knows the way to a Zhongli’s woman's heart. Through micro transactions. Mona saw him accidently drop $20 and just shrugged and walked off. She has never been both spiritually and physically offended in her life. She did take the $20 though. As much as you hate leeching on Chile when he’s basically a walking wallet that probably uses bills as tissue paper, you can’t help but give him puppy eyes while planning on how to get into his will. If he even plans on having one, he might honestly write “whoever wins in a gladiator style duel in my funeral’s tournament, they will get my fortune.”. 

Any sport the university offers Childe is probably in it. Which is how he met Zhongli, challenged him to a fight, proceeded to have his ass handed to him, got a backhanded compliment, and screamed to you he was in love and how he found his soulmate. He's secretly very sappy and has cried and watched every Disney and Pixar movie at least 28 times.

"IM NOT TOO SPICY! I’M A TINY BIT ABOVE MILD IF ANYTHING!”

---

God if it isn’t Scaramouche, it’s Childe that ruins the aesthetic. This is why I hate you. Why do you people enable me like this, it isn’t even good. This is pretty much a @ yourself moment and I vibe hard with Venti. This entire post was just to make a joke about the clap of Kaeya’s ass cheeks alerting the guards.

This week might slow down since I have classes and assignments. My reply’s are gonna be late too, sorry;; (oh and thank you to everyone that was so supportive and nice when I mentioned it. All of you. Beautiful 💕💕 )

[tomurasprincess]

Kinktober Day 21: Drugging (Here Comes the Bride)

Day 21: Drugging Title: Here Comes the Bride Pairing: Kirishima x F!Reader Word Count:  2.5k Warnings: Noncon, dubcon, drugging, cheating, bit of mindbreak, yandere Note: Thanks to @pleasantanathema for talking me through this idea when I was like “I DUNNO WHERE TO TAKE THIS.” I really appreciate it!

Kinktober Masterlist

Today is the happiest day of your life. You're finally getting married to the man of your dreams, hero and former classmate, Izuku Midoriya. He was always so determined at UA to be the number one hero that nobody had any doubt that he would manage it. You were always friends through school, but after you graduated, the two of you drifted apart. None of your friend groups truly kept up with each other either, because of busy lives at various hero agencies, so you never really even crossed paths.

But when you got to work with Deku on a joint mission, you had hit it off again, like there had never been any distance between you at all. A year later, you were engaged to be married. And now, a year after that, you are standing in the bridal room looking at yourself in your beautiful wedding gown.

You turn every which way in the mirror to inspect your dress, your jewelry, your shoes, before finally deciding that everything was in place. The ceremony itself is quickly approaching, and you’re just about to step off the platform and head to the main ballroom. But before you can leave, someone you don’t expect comes storming in.

“I have to talk to you,” Kirishima Ejirou declares instantly as he strides towards you. He’s a mutual friend of you and Deku, attending UA and graduating along with both of you. Deku had an easy decision when he chose him to help participate in the wedding.

“Okay, but it’s got to be quick. Can’t be late for my own wedding,” you smile at him.

Kirishima doesn’t share your smile, however. In fact, his eyes seem to darken and narrow a bit, but he shakes it off as he hands you a champagne glass. “Here, thought you might want something to drink first.”

“I’m okay, really - “

“Come on, you’ve got to be a bit nervous,” he coaxes you, still holding out the glass. “This will help calm you down a bit, I promise.”

You pause for a second before reaching out to accept the drink. “Thank you, Eijirou,” you smile at him as you take a drink. “You’re always so thoughtful.”

The champagne is actually quite good, and you find yourself drinking it too quickly, causing your head to swim with dizziness.

“Whoa there, don’t fall over,” Eijirou teases you as he grabs your arm to hold you steady. He helps you down from the platform you were standing on to admire your dress in the mirror, and leads you into a sitting area in the next room.

“Here, sit down for a second,” he lowers you down onto a large couch before sitting beside you. His thigh brushes your own, sending pleasant sensations running up your leg.

“I - I suddenly don’t feel so good,” your voice trembles a bit as the room begins to spin.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Eijirou whispers as he pulls you into his lap. His hand moves to cup your face, finger trailing along your lower lip.

Your brain feels like it’s full of a thick fog, leaving you off balance and unable to process what’s happening. “I can’t be on your lap like this, I have to go - “

“No!” His harsh voice causes you to jump a bit. “I mean, no you don’t,” he says in a much quieter voice. “You don’t need to go because you’re not getting married to Deku.”

“What do you mean? Of course I am! Me feeling a bit weird isn’t going to stop me from marrying the man that I lo-”

“No, you don’t love him,” Eijirou’s hand comes up quickly to cover your mouth and prevent you from finishing your sentence. “You love me, you just haven’t accepted it yet.”

“This is crazy, you’re acting crazy!” You try to pull yourself up, but his fingers dig into your thighs, forcing you back down on his lap and causing you to feel the bulge inside his pants.

“You’re wrong,” he says firmly. “I’m not crazy, just in love.”

You’re struggling even harder now, trying to loosen his firm grip on you. But Eijirou has always been inhumanely strong, and you don’t manage to do anything but grind yourself down on his erection. “You’re not in love with me! And it doesn’t matter anyway, because I’m marrying Izuku.”

“No, you’re not,” he snarls as he hardens his fists, ripping away the lower section of your dress. “I love you, I’ve always loved you. Why am I not good enough?”

You begin to shake in fear and horror as he throws part of your dress away, watching it fall to the floor in a crumpled heap. “It’s not that - “

“Then what is it?” He kisses down the column of your neck, pausing occasionally to nip at your skin with his sharp teeth before lapping at the marks he makes to soothe them. “I’m just as much of a hero as he is, so why did you never look my way?”

He fumbles with the buttons and latches at the back of your dress before finally getting frustrated, tearing the halves of your top apart just as easily as he ripped the train of your dress off. “Just let me prove to you how much I love you, how well I’ll treat you.” He kisses along the tops of your now bare breasts, reaching to cup one of them in a large hand.

As he works one of your nipples with his fingers, he takes the other one into his mouth, grazing gently along it with a sharp tooth before suckling at it until he feels it gets hard.

The room is spinning so wildly now that you feel as if you’re on a merry go round, and you find yourself unable to keep your eyes open. You try to clear the haze from your mind for a second as you ponder what’s wrong with you, before it hits you like a lightning bolt.

The champagne he gave you.

“Did you drug me?” Your voice comes out sounding slurred, as if you’re drunk. “You must have.”

“I wouldn’t have had to if you just accepted my love,” he whispers in a slightly pained voice. “So really, this is your fault that you made me do this.”

His hips are moving now as they hump against your core, and when his clothed cock rubs along your slit, you can’t help but let out a small moan despite yourself.

“See? There it is,” he chuckles in relief, “I knew you wanted me. You just needed a bit of a push.” He sits you down beside him for a few seconds as he hurriedly undresses, removing his suit jacket and shirt first before slipping out of his pants. You glance at the door, wanting to make a break for it while he’s distracted. But instead, you lean your head heavily back against the couch, unable to hold it up on your own.

After he’s naked in front of you, he finishes removing the rest of your dress, marveling at your pretty lacy panties. “These are so cute,” he says as he rubs a finger up your pussy, causing you to tremble. “I’m so glad you’re wearing these for me.”

He lifts you back up, sliding his cock along your folds to lubriate himself. You’re humiliated to realize that despite everything, you’re absolutely soaked. “Please Eijirou, please don’t do this,” you beg your friend to reverse his decision, to stop this madness.

“I promise, it’s going to be okay, you’ll see,” he murmurs as he begins to lower you onto his cock. He’s so thick, and you’re so tight that it seems like he’s not going to be able to fit it inside of you. But he’s determined, making short shallow thrusts as your muscles begin to relax and loosen, aided by the drug that’s making you feel as if you’re floating.

He glances down at one point to see a streak of blood along his length, looking at you in shock. “You were a virgin,” he whispers in awe. “I’m so glad you saved yourself for me.” You no longer have the energy to refute his words. You know it won’t matter anyway.

Now that he’s past your entrance, the rest of his cock goes in easier, your wet walls allowing him to slide in without trouble. When he grazes your cervix with his cock, he stops for a second, allowing you to get used to his size. He coos at you, rubbing his hands along your back and down your stomach. “You’re being so good for me.” He kisses your forehead and pulls your sweaty hair out of your face. “It was always supposed to be like this.”

He grips your hips and begins to bounce you gently, bottoming out inside of you with every thrust while still taking it as slowly as he can. It doesn’t take long for you to begin panting, pussy getting even wetter as you drip along his cock and onto his balls. Your head falls forward, burying your face in Eijirou’s neck. It’s better this way, anyway. This way he won’t see the tears falling from your face.

“Getting a bit sleepy, there, sweetie?” He laughs quietly. “Here, maybe this will be better.” He picks you up and lays you down across the couch, removing his cock just long enough to situate you before he’s plunging back inside. A sharp gasp is pulled from your throat as your walls stretch around him, and he groans.

“Fuck, your pussy is sucking me in so well,” he groans as he laces his fingers with yours, pulling them above your head as he begins to move faster. “Clenching around me like you never want me to pull out.”

He sucks at the pulse point of your neck before biting down, breaking the skin and causing blood to roll in rivulets down past your chest. You whimper in pain at those sharp teeth being buried in the skin of your neck, and the wound stings as his tongue laps at the blood. “That’s going to scar,” he says proudly as he removes his teeth and examines the wound. “And then everyone will know you’re mine.”

His hips smack against yours roughly as he pounds you, your breasts bouncing with every move and the lewd noises of your bodies joining filling the room. “Deku would never treat you this well, would he?” Eijirou’s voice is loud, demanding, almost desperate. “Admit it.”

Your eyes flutter closed again, but he grips your neck firmly until you open your eyes again. “Please admit it,” he whispers, big sad eyes reminding you of a puppy begging for love.

Despite everything, you feel your heart break a little, and you find yourself nodding. His smile returns, the easygoing smile you’ve always liked since the first time you met him. “Tell me you love me, that you’ve - ahh, hgg - that you’ve wanted this for so long.” You feel his pace become a bit erratic, eyes closing for a second before he regains control of himself. “Tell me you love me,” he growls out the demand as he speeds up, shifting his angle to smack against a soft, sensitive spot inside of you. You whine as you feel tension building, seeming to be even stronger because of the drugged weightlessness you’re feeling. You do love him, don’t you? You were always so close, and you’ve certainly said the words to him before.

“I’m doing this for you, sweetie,” he says in a broken voice, that puppy dog look returning to his eyes. “I didn’t want it to be like this, but you left me no choice.” A tear trails down his face, and you find yourself unable to stop yourself from reaching up to wipe it away. “If you had just accepted me from the beginning - “

He reaches down to rub your clit in tight circles when he feels you clench around him, causing sparks of pleasure to run through you. “Sweetheart, just admit it, I need you to admit it,” he’s outright pleading with you now, pace becoming ragged.

“I love you,” you manage to slur out, toes curling and eyes rolling back into your head as you finally climax around him. “I love you, Eijirou.”

“Fuck,” he hisses as his orgasm tears through him at your confession, holding you still as he empties himself inside of you. Not that he has to be very firm with you as you become increasingly weak.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he chuckles a bit as he kisses you, cupping your chin and lifting your head so that he can get more access to your mouth. “See how much better things are when you tell people how you really feel?”

You give a mindless nod at his question. It really is nice, you think, and he feels so warm and strong, holding you as you tremble.

“Now, I have some clothes over there for you. Going to help you put them on, and then we’re leaving. I’ll take you out of here and then you can get some sleep, okay?”

Another tired nod from you. Sleep really did seem good right about now. You feel like you are on a boat rocking back and forth, and your eyes will barely stay open anymore. You feel like you’re forgetting something important, but you just can’t recall it at the moment.

He dresses you carefully before pulling back to admire you with a satisfied smile on his face. “You look so beautiful,” he murmurs as he cups your face and kisses your forehead. He helps you up, heading to the door before he pauses like he forgot something.

“You don’t need anything else here, do you?”

You try to sort through your muddled thoughts, but it gives you a bit of a headache and so you stop trying. “No, not that I can think of.”

He beams at you, a look of pure pride as he wraps his arm around you. “In that case, why don’t we get out of here? Only 30 minutes left, and I want to be gone by then.”

You almost know what he means by 30 minutes, somewhere in the back of your mind. Something that should be important to you.

But then Eijirou, the man of your dreams, is pulling you to the door as he tells you how much he loves you, and you realize that if it truly were important, then you’d remember it.

Wouldn’t you?

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Kinktober: @thewheezingwyvern, @vixen-scribbles, @katsukisprincess, @hisoknen, @trafalgar-temptress, @leeswritingworld, @burnedbyshoto, @bakugotrashpanda, @dee-madwriter, @kittycatkrissa, @reinawritesbnha, @yanderart, @dabilove27, @fae-father, @anxietyplusultra, @flutterfalla, @angmarwitch, @nereida19, @babayaga67, @fromsunnywithlove, @dabis-kitten, @bakugos-cumsock, @yumeneji, @the-grimm-writer, @iwaizumi-chan, @slashersheart, @bunnyywritings, @bakarinnie, @angie-1306, @emplosion22, @lalalemon101​, @videogameboiwhowins, @f4nficbaby, @tenkoshimmy, @baroque-baby, @bbyspiiice, @thirstyforthem2dmen, @blissfulignorance2000, @bluecookies02-main