#except I want it to be 30 degrees or below

[kikiwritesfanfic]

The Lovebug Virus - Chapter 2: Sun

Yandere! Sun and Moon x Reader

Masterlist || Chapter 1 || Chapter 3

*****

"And down that way past the daycare is Monty Golf," Max says. You try your best to remember everything he's telling you, but you're having a hard time now that you're close enough to the daycare to hear the children screaming and playing down below.

It's been about a week since the disaster at the party and Kat telling you she would call her older brother. Turns out, he's actually the head engineer here at the Pizzaplex, which you hadn't known. That's why Kat worked at the plex, because she wanted to make her way up the engineering ladder like her brother Max had done once he had finished with his degree. She only works as a night guard because it was what was open at the time. Kind of like what you were doing now. Except you hadn't gotten as lucky with the job opening you had to take.

"Well, guess that leaves the most important part now, doesn't it?" Max says, clapping his hands together in front of him. He was older than Kat, that much was evident. But he still looked young. You guess he can't be much older than 30, given the lack of worry lines or grey hairs. His face is clean shaven, but he rubs his chin constantly as if stroking a beard. If there is one thing you've been able to take from your interactions with him so far, it's that you definitely know where Kat gets most of her personality from.

"Yeah, I guess. Lead the way," you say, allowing him to guide you towards the employee entrance of the daycare.

Everything is so bright and colorful, and there's a rather silly song that never seems to end playing from somewhere overhead. Not that the kids could hear it over there incessant screams of joy. Max leads you over to a desk with several computers at it and a large screen behind it advertising the Sunnydrop energizing candies. Do they really give those to kids? You doubt they need anything energizing considering the pure molten energy they seem to have flowing through them right now. 

Max types a password into the computer and fiddles with something in the system while you take in the sights around you more. Some of the children seem to be playing a rather intense game of tag, while others are sitting around a small table coloring. You smile. Even though you are nervous about being around so many little kids, you find some level of comfort in the thought. It can't be that hard, right? Especially if you're going to be working with... other people...

You look around the large daycare with more detail. There doesn't seem to be a single other daycare attendant in sight! Who is watching these kids? Were you expected to work alone? 

You're going to mess this up. You always screw up, especially when it's something new.

"Okay, you're officially in the system, and you are authorized to handle drop offs, pickups, medicine inputs, and incident reports," Max says, pulling you from your thoughts. 

"Uh, okay. A-Are you going to be working with me?" you stutter, the uneasiness you feel seeping into your voice. Max lets out a hearty laugh, as if it was the funniest thing he's heard all day.

"Hell no, I don't like being around the younger ones."

"Mr. Diaz, language!" you hear a robotic, high pitched voice say from behind one of the play structures. Your confusion must be pretty evident, because Max only laughs harder.

"Well, now you get to meet them," he says, winking at you once he calms down. "Sun! Remember when I told you that you'd be getting some help around the daycare?" 

"Ohmygosh yes! Are they here now?" the same voice from before asks. Your eyes widen as a tall, yellow animatronic appears from behind the play structure holding one of the children in his arms. Several kids appear with him, all holding different stuffed Fazbear-themed plushies. He bends over and places the kid down before saying something to the rest of them and heading towards the security desk.

You take a hesitant step backwards. "I-I'm going to be working with an animatronic?" you ask quietly. This is insane. Neither Kat nor Max told you that there was going to be one of them working with you in the daycare. And it wasn't anywhere in the job description! The animatronic leans forward on the desk, his sunrays spinning slowly around his faceplate. 

"Hello new friend!" he greets you. "I'm Sundrop! But you can call me whatever you'd like! Everyone has so many different names for me. But the most popular are Mr. Sun, Sunny, or just plain ol' Sun!" 

Max types something into the computer again before smiling up at Sun. "She's going to be working with you as the human daycare attendant to get some of the work off of your back. Don't go chasing her away like the other one, though." Sun's rays stop spinning and shrink back slightly. It's almost as if he's... embarrassed?

"I-I'm Y/N," you say, sticking your hand out. Sun's face lights up and he reaches out to shake your hand from across the desk. 

"That's such a lovely name, Sunbite! Oh, do you mind if I call you Sunbite? I give everyone nicknames," he says, speaking rather quickly. It makes you smile. He sounds just as nervous as you. The AI in him must be super advanced. You'd love to be able to read the coding that goes into his software, but you know you won't even get the chance to do anything like it until you're actually an engineer here, and not some measly little daycare attendant.

"I don't mind," you say. Of course you don't. You don't want to upset him already. He somehow seems to smile even brighter.

"Lovely!" he exclaims. Max's Fazwatch beeps and he curses under his breath. But before Sun can scold him again, he pulls his staff hat from his belt loop and puts it on. 

"I am so sorry about this," he says to you. "But I have to go. Something just came up. But I'm sure Sun can show you the ropes of running the daycare for today, especially since naptime has already passed?" he pleads, turning to the animatronic. Sun nods eagerly.

"Of course I can, Mr. Diaz! Don't you worry, our new little friend will know all the ins and outs of the daycare before the end of today!" Sun says, waving as Max leaves. You, on the other hand, don't feel as confident. Still, you turn to the animatronic and smile nervously.

"So, where do we begin?"

You spend the last hours of the daycare day mainly learning about the routine and where everything is. Being distracted seems to have busied your mind enough that you don't really have time to have any negative thoughts. Especially because the kids seem to find an extra burst of energy with you being new, surrounding you and asking you question after question. After the first hour, you grew used to it though, answering them patiently. This had caused Sun to tell you that you were beginning to be a perfect fit for the daycare already, which had made your cheeks flush.

But now you're waving the last two kids out the front door from behind the security desk. The door closes and you sigh, flopping back into the office chair. Sun bounces in front of you on the opposite side of the desk. "You did absolutely wonderful, Sunbite!" he says rather loudly. It will certainly take a lot to get used to his base volume being noisier than you're used to. But still, you flash a grin at him.

"You really think so?" you ask as warmth tickles the back of your neck. "I-I don't really feel like I did much." Sun's rays begin to spin around his head again. 

"You absolutely helped out. Normally the kids are bored by the end of the day and begin terrorizing each other because of it. But they really liked you." He turns and gestures wide with his arms. "Now for my favorite part of the day. Cleaning time!"

You find yourself chuckling softly to yourself. You don't mind cleaning - it was actually the part of this job that you were looking forward to the most. Making things nice and shiny was one of your favorite activities. It calmed you down and allowed you to think. Your anxiety would cool off and your negative self talk would quiet. So you head out from behind the desk and follow Sun around as he runs you through the cleaning routine. He continues to remind you how grateful he is for your help, repeating that the cleaning routine will go by so much faster now. Sometimes it feels like he's reminding himself in a way? If you weren't so enthralled by the amount of cleaning there was, you might have even wondered if he was talking to someone else...

After an hour and a half of scrubbing, wiping, sweeping, and vacuuming, you finally finish sanitizing the daycare with Sun. He thanks you repeatedly, and tells you that he can't wait to see you again the next day.

"Can I give you a goodbye hug, Sunbite?" he asks, holding his arms out. You smile sheepishly. You've only spent a few hours with the animatronic, but you find yourself enjoying his company and unable to deny his request. How could you deny that cute smile?

So you hug him. Much to your surprise, you don't come into contact with cold metal, and instead he is warm. It kinda throws you for a loop for a moment, as your brain tries to process the fact that you're not hugging another human, but you shove your thoughts aside and decide to just enjoy it. He also smells faintly of citrus, which only makes you smile and giggle a bit to yourself. When you pull from the hug, Sun turns his head to the side and his rays shrink down slightly.

"D-Did I say something funny?" he asks, and you immediately shake your head, still smiling.

"No, no, not at all, Sunny," you say. "I'm just finding this whole thing a bit bizarre is all."

"Oh, how so?"

You hesitate. "Well, where I'm from, there was an old Fazbear Pizzeria, but it was closed down when I was a teen. Still, there wasn't any kind of advanced AI in those animatronics. They were just machines inside of a cheap fuzzy suit." You shrug and walk back over to the security desk with Sun in tow.

"What was it like there?" he asks. You weren't expecting that. He's so curious, almost in a childlike manor. You wonder how often people actually answer his questions. But you smile nonetheless and answer him.

"Freddy, Chica, and Bonnie were on the mainstage," you say, and continue to describe the layout, pointing out that the daycare alone is bigger than the entirety of that small little pizzeria you used to spend all your summers at. You clock out of the system as you do so, and then place your hands on your hip. "It was my favorite place to go to growing up. Especially because.. Well, it doesn't matter," you say suddenly, cutting yourself off as bitter memories begin to cloud your nostalgia. Sun's shoulders sink at your unexpected shutdown.

"Hey, meatball!" a familiar voice says from behind you. You turn and smile at Kat walking through the door to the daycare. 

"Hey, Catnip!" you greet. Sun also smiles and bounds over to Kat excitedly. 

"Miss Diaz! What a pleasant surprise! You already know our Sunbite?" he asks. Your steps slow slightly as you approach. Wait, did he just say "our" when referring to you? Well, he probably means the daycare as a whole. Either way, you hug Kat once you reach her.

"Of course I know her," she says, ruffling your hair and flashing you a toothy grin. "We're roommates." 

You place your hand to your chest in mock heartbreak. "Just roommates?! Kitkat, you wound me," you joke. She laughs and shoves your arm.

"My bad, we're best friends," she corrects herself. Sun's rays begin spinning around his head again.

"Oh! So this is the one you said worked at the uh... adult bar before!" he says, and your mouth falls open.

"You told him that?" you round on your friend. She holds her hands up in surrender.

"How was I supposed to know that you would end up working with him?" she asks, chuckling through her words. "Besides, it's not like he knows exactly what goes on in places like that," she says in a hushed voice. "But anyways, I came by to make sure you survived your first day, and it looks like you have, so I'm going to get ready for my shift!"

"Which parking lot did you leave the car in?" you ask, and she smiles deviously at you. "Figure it out," she says before turning back and walking back through the entrance. "See you later tonight, boys!" she calls over her shoulder.

"Bye Miss Diaz!" Sun says from your side, waving wildly. Before you can even begin to wonder why on earth she referred to Sun as "boys," he turns back to you. "So, the next day you work is this Saturday, correct?"

You give a puzzled look to the yellow animatronic. "H-How did you-"

"Oh! We're connected to the entire system!" he says, tapping his index finger to his head. "So we can see the schedules, place incident reports, and contact emergency services or head personnel if needed." 

"Ah, well that makes sense." You walk over to the door of the employee entrance and Sun follows at your heel once again. You seriously feel like this poor animatronic doesn't get a lot of interactions from anyone besides the children. Once you reach the door, you stop and turn back to him. "Do you ever leave the daycare, Sunny?" you ask.

He clasps his hands in front of him, wringing his fingers together. "Well, uh, I don't," he says. You can't help but think that he looks adorable when he's nervous like this. 

"Why not?" 

"It's just not really required, I guess? Honestly, I'm not so sure." His rays shrink back once again, and you smile. 

"Well, either way, I guess I'll see you Saturday!" 

"Saturday it is!" he perks back up.

"Buh-bye Sunny," you say, and slip out of the door to grab your belongings from the employee locker room and head back home.

*****

A/N: AHHHHHH we finally met Sunny!! Does he meet your expectations? Does he?? God he's such a soft nervous boi, just needs some attention and love *cries*

Anyways, stay tuned because in the next chapter you get to meet Moon!! And then the real story can begin muahhahahah

Stay sweet, my lovelies~

[alltimefail-sims]

I present to you all... Wren's family!

Are you reading The Familiar by @mangosimoothie? You should be reading The Familiar by mangosimoothie and rooting for my baby Wren. (I'm mostly kidding - rooting for Wren is optional, but reading the Familiar is not 😉.)

This was probably self indulgent, and I definitely spent way too much time making them, but even if no one else cares... I'm pleased! I've been wanting to do this for way too long! First we have Wren's father, Dr. Abdou Opara and Wren's mother, Dr. Latita Opara (née Wiley). Then we have Wren's siblings Kingston and Angelique.

Want more info on them or to see their full-body outfits? Fear not...

Many details below the cut! ↓

If you read Wren's original post you already know that Abdou, Wren's father, is a retired engineer and tech investor while his wife, Latita, is the current and very popular mayor of San Myshuno. But I didn't really get to go into detail about Wren's siblings so I'm gonna do that real quick!!

Wren's oldest sibling, Kinston (30 y.o.), has a doctorate from Foxbury in biology, but he was also the captain of the robotics team and has a passion for engineering just like his father. After graduation he combined his two passions and created a bio-tech company that focuses on creating innovations and improvements in the medical field, particularly for surgical procedures and daily disability maneuverability and pain management. Wren thinks he's an absolutely insufferable ego-maniac, but they're not a completely reliable narrator because Kingston's just kind of a nerd with a little bit of a superiority complex (oldest child syndrome), but Wren's parents have always lifted up Kingston as the example and that's annoying as fuck! Oh and if Latita has a favorite child, it's Kingston (she's never proclaimed a favorite out loud but like... it's pretty clear).

Then there's the Opara's middle child, Angelique (27 y.o.), who I promise does not just walk around in pageant crowns and evening gowns (although that would be iconic imo). Although a middle child, Angelique has never had to fight for attention and is Abdou's clear favorite (again he's never said it out loud but like... he's even more obvious). She has a distinguished psychology degree with honors from Foxbury Institute and graduated at the top of her class. The reason she's dressed in pageant-wear is because she recently won the title of Miss America (whatever the sims equivalent is called). She'll be competing for Miss Universe next because she's a bad bitch ig? Lmao. She just is very competitive. Wren thinks Angelique is generally less insufferable than Kingston, but the two of them in a room together is like nails on a chalkboard to Wren. Wren and Angelique are a little closer, but "close" as in like... they get along okay, they'll pick up *if* the other calls, and she nags Wren the least of any of their family members (but that's just because she "has better things to do"). That being said, she does call Wren "baby Wren" which drives them nuts (but she's being affectionate in her own way).

*Fun fact: all of the Oparas are Foxbury alum except for our dear Wren and they never hear the end of it!

*Also a fun fact but, needless to say, Wren's mom doesn't want to end her political career as a mayor: she's working her way up the political ladder to the presidential candidacy, babyyyyy!!! On the flip-side, Abdou has always been a strict parent who cares about "legacy" and that's why they're so anal about protecting the family's public image and why they're especially hard on Wren who thinks all of those things are kind of bullshit.

FINALLY, I do want to note that I didn't include one *technical* family member, Kingston's college sweetheart and fiancé Kasi who Wren actually enjoys being around and thinks is way out of their brother's league.

Anyway okay I'm done now here they are side-by-side as promised:

Irl I imagine their heights to vary (with Wren being taller than their mom but shorter than everyone else) but I was too lazy to use a height slider.

Okay NOW I'm done for real lmao byeeeeeeee

[yes-i-am-happyaspie]

Don't Come Crying to Me by happyaspie

Part 17 of Sicktember 2021-2023

No Archive Warnings Apply || Rated G || Word Count 3093 || Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Sick Peter Parker, Common Cold

Summary: In a moment of exasperation, Tony says to Peter ‘Don’t come crying to me when you get sick’. Peter takes the instructions to heart and a few months later when Tony invites him to help with a mission, he decides to keep the fact he woke up feeling awful under wraps. That goes just about as well as you would expect

@sicktember 2023 Prompts: 4. Hiding an Illness 18. “Wear Your Coat, You’ll Catch a Cold”

[Except Below the Cut]

“Hey, Kid. Ready to go?” Tony asked as he stepped inside of the Parker’s small Queens apartment.

“Yep. I'm ready,” Peter replied, already shouldering a backpack and an overnight bag.

Tony chuckled as he watched the kid try to lean down and balance it all while simultaneously tying his shoes. He turned the door the moment Peter was upright again and did a double take. 

“Where’s your coat?” He asked.

Peter shrugged and gently tugged at the strings trailing over his chest. “I have a hoodie,” he said as if that was sufficient enough for the middle of a New York winter.

“It’s 30 degrees and snowing,” Tony incredulously stated.

Peter continued to hover by the door without moving toward the nearby coat closet. “It’s fine, Mr. Stark. I’m just walking to your car. I’ll only be outside for like two seconds.”

Tony blinked a few times as he tried to wrap his brain around the teenage logic. When he couldn’t come to any kind of a reasonable conclusion he rolled his eyes. “Oh for Christ’s sake, kid,” he sighed. “Just wear your coat. You’re going to catch a cold.”

Peter wrinkled his nose and narrowed his eyes in mild defiance. “I don’t think that’s how it actually works, Mr. Stark,” he said. And Tony, knowing the kid was right but unwilling to admit it, let it go.

“Whatever,” he flippantly replied. “Just don’t come crying to me when you get sick”

“I'm not going to get sick,” Peter immediately shot back.

“Well, when you do,” Tony replied, already turning his back to walk out the door. “I don’t want to hear about it.”

That was the end of the discussion. The moment they got into the car Tony flipped on the seat warmers and turned the heat up to the max setting. It was efficient and soon the entire car was filled with warmth. To the point that by the time they’d reached the climate-controlled garage at the tower, they were both starting to sweat.

[Continue reading on AO3]

[ciaossu-imagines]

For the holiday season what sort of gifts do you think Tsuna and friends would be happy to receive?

This is a really great request and anyone who has read this blog for any length of time knows I'm an absolute sucker for holiday headcanons...I included headcanons for Tsuna below but I gotta say...almost every character in the manga/anime can kind of be called friends or allies of Tsuna, except for the Varia and even then, Squalo, because of his relationship with Yamamoto, could be considered as friendly to Tsuna. I definitely think Tsuna, towards the end of the manga, considers him a friendly ally at the very least. Like, even Byakuran and Mukuro could be considered Tsuna's 'friends' as I do think Byakuran thinks of them as such and Tsuna has shown he has friendly feelings towards the Kokuyo Gang, so could you please clarify which friends in particular you want because otherwise, I'd be writing for A LOT of characters...like easily 30+.

Okay, I'm going into writing these headcanons for Tsuna putting aside the fact that, canonically, he wouldn't really celebrate Christmas. We're going to play these headcanons like he would celebrate Christmas, okay guys?

Going with that, I do think that as he grows from being a little kid into a tween and then a teenager, the actual presents involved in Christmas start to mean less and less to Tsuna and the holiday means as much to him as it does because of the time he gets to spend doing fun stuff and eating good food with his family and friends, along with the fact that anyone thinks to get him a gift at all. By the time he's an adult, he won't even be able to really think of anything to ask for as a gift, but he'll still get slightly teary and happy whenever anyone thinks to get him a Christmas gift, even if it's only socks.

Now, going into the actual gifts...I think as a tween and teen, coming from his mother, Tsuna would ask for and really appreciate practical things like cash or gift cards to his favourite places, new clothes, and since I really do headcanon Nana as being someone who is very crafty, I think he kind of looks forward to the new mittens and scarf she knits him every year, even if he pretends he doesn't (he is still a teenage boy, after all).

Anyone else? Seriously, just the fact that anyone other than his mom is thinking enough about him to get him a Christmas gift still astounds Tsuna to some degree. I do think handmade gifts really touch Tsuna in a special place and he really treasures them because of the effort and time the person put into making that present just for him, but he's going to find something wonderful about just about any present.

Bonus headcanon - by the time Tsuna is his adult self, it will become a running joke between him and Lambo that Tsuna's Lightning Guardian never remembers to Christmas shop and regifts or makes the stupidest, most useless gifts...Tsuna still has every single one tucked away somewhere though, right back from the time Lambo was five and gave him a popsicle stick with his hair wrapped around it as a gift (Tsuna had meant to throw it out but had tossed it under his bed with the other Christmas 'junk' and it got boxed up with the other stuff when Nana cleaned and became a joke the next Christmas and at that point, Tsuna couldn't quite bring himself to throw it out, though he didn't really understand why.)

[enddaysengine]

Melione (Greek Goddess)

Are we going to roll with what is trending? Yes. Yes we are. Let's watch the trailer.

Games covered in this post: Geist: the Sin-Eaters, Pathfinder 1e & 2e, Planescape, Scion (after the break). 

**HADES 2 spoilers incoming**

Supergiant games has revealed that the protagonist of Hades 2 will be Melinoe. Zagreus was an obscure deity from the Orphic Hymns and Milone is very much the same… except even more so. We at least have multiple sources on Zag, but as far as I can tell, we only have one text on Melione, which is short enough I’ll quote it in full: 

I call upon Melinoe, saffron-cloaked nymph of the earth, whom revered Persephone bore by the mouth of the Kokytos river upon the sacred bed of Kronian Zeus. In the guise of Plouton Zeus tricked Persephone and through wiley plots bedded her; a two-bodied spectre sprang forth from Persephone's fury. This spectre drives mortals to madness with her airy apparitions as she appears in weird shapes and strange forms, now plain to the eye, now shadowy, now shining in the darkness — all this in unnerving attacks in the gloom of night. O goddess, O queen of those below, I beseech you to banish the soul's frenzy to the ends of the earth, show to the initiates a kindly and holy face."

This is complicated and I’m just doing a quick read, so fellow academics please forgive and correct me if I get something wrong. 

It is absolutely clear from this passage that Melione is the daughter of Persephone, but who her father is is a bit more debatable. While the text specifies Zeus, lots of chthonic imagery is involved and Hades/Pluto is mentioned. Different groups of Greeks syncretized Zeus and Hades at different times to different degrees. While most modern people know them as separate gods, some groups (like the Orphics who wrote this hymn) viewed them as aspects of one deity. Others gave Hades a “Zeus'' alias because he was ruler of the Underworld. So depending on the story you want to tell, Melinoe's father could be Zeus, Zeus pretending to be Hades, Hades, or both as a single deity.

The other non-obvious bit from my readings is that the “saffron-cloaked” reference indicates Melinoe is a Moon Goddess. If you watched the Hades 2 trailer, you probably noticed she wears a crescent moon diadem and is trained by a Goddess who is most definitely Hecate, the only other saffron-cloaked deity in the Orphic Hymns (although the epitaph is associated with other deities elsewhere).

 As a chthonic deity, Melinoe also gets associated with the dead, in particular ghosts. She has a terrible and fearful appearance from being the embodiment of Persephone’s, which combined with the darkness motif, makes Melinoe a goddess of nightmares as well. Again, all this is seen in the trailer with Melinoe’s ghostly arm and eyes.

So while we don’t have a huge number of sources to play with, there is still enough for Supergiant to bring Melinoe into their game. And if they can do it, so can you!

General RPG Info

Allies: Hecate, Persephone

Enemies: None

Temples: Caverns, entrances to the Underworld, graveyards

Relationships: Hades (father?), Macaria (sister), Persephone (mother), Zagreus (brother), Zeus (father?) 

Worshippers: Diviners, necromancers, psychologists, the wronged and oppressed

Minions: Ghost, nymphs 

Geist: The Sin-Eaters

Melinoe is a perfect deity to use as the basis for a Kereboi (if you don’t play Geist, that’s a big, nasty ancient ghost). 

Description: Melinoe appears as a giant woman, who alternates between radiating blinding light and shadow so dark it snuffs out all lights. Her six arms are not attached to her body, instead they float around her, the bones within visible through their ectoplasmic outline. 

Virtue: Kind

Vice: Wrathful

Attributes: Power 15 Finesse 15 Resistance 15

Influences: Domain 5, Fear 5, Rage 5

Corpus: 30

Willpower: 10

Initiative: +30

Defence: 15

Speed: 35

Size: 15

Numina: Chthonic Darkness*, Domain Sense, Engulf, Enforcement, Hallucination, Olympian Light*, Puppeteer 

Manifestations: Avernian Gateway, Discorporiate, Emotional Aura, Empower Ghost, Image, Materialize, Possess, Twilight Form 

Essence: 50

Ban: Most obey the Old Laws of her Domain

Bane: A thunderbolt tempered in one of the Rivers of the Underworld

New Numen - Chthonic Darkness: By spending 3 Essence, the ghost can snuff out all light for the Scene. Mundane lights cannot be relit, magical lights require a Clash of Wills. 

New Numen - Olympian Light: By spending 1 Essence, the ghost shines bright with the light of the heavens. The victim contests with a Dexterity + Stamina + Supernatural Tolerance roll. If they fail, they suffer the Blinded (Both Eyes) Tilt for the rest of the Scene.  

Pathfinder

For Pathfinder 1e domains, I’m avoiding alignment-based domains on purpose. I’m also going to consider Melinoe a demigod and give her four domains/subdomains. 

Domains: Darkness, Death, Madness, Nobility

Subdomains: Leadership, Moon, Nightmare, Undead

For Pathfinder 2e, things are a bit more straightforward since we’ve done away with subdomains and everything’s just a domain.  

PF 2e Domains: Darkness, Moon, Nightmare, Undeath

Planescape

Placing Melione in Planescape is easy at least - she would be found in the Grey Wastes with her mother or visiting one of Hecate’s two realms on the Grey Wastes and Baator. Faction-wise, the Bleak Congress and Dustmen are natural fits for her followers. The Revolutionary League and Mercykillers could also work for followers who seek to avenge the wronged and the abused.

I think an interesting twist to Melinoe would be if she is also worshipped by aberrations and dragons due to her frightful description. So if you are running a Greek-themed campaign, perhaps you have some chthonic beholders who worship Melinoe alongside the ghosts of their ancestors? Given Melinoe’s association with ghosts and darkness, I would toss in shadows, spectres, and wraiths alongside her minions as well. 

Scion

Making Scion stats for Melione is pretty straightforward. Judge and Passion (Rage) are there because Melinoe was birthed from Persephone’s anger over the injustices against her. I'm also writing Melione as a Guide since they are easy to make and I absolutley love Guides. 

Callings: Judge, Leader, Liminal

Purviews: Darkness, Death, Moon, Passion (Fear, Rage)

Melinoe (One-Dot Guide) 

Asset Skill: Occult

Guide Stunt (1-3 enhancement): Gain an Enhancement equal to successes spent to the next action you take in the current session to deal with a ghost. 

Final Thoughts

This is a new type of post for me. Hopefully you find it useful and informative. Got another one planned for Zag and Mel’s sister Macaria which should be up on my Patreon in the next few days. 

Bibliography

Athanassakis, Apostolos N., and Benjamin M. Wolkow. The Orphic Hymns. Johns Hopkins Univ. Press, 2013.

[eowyntheavenger]

Do you guys want to hear about my trip to Pohnpei?

It’s been about a month since I came home, and I’ve told my friends and family about it, but I still have to scream about it more because IT WAS AMAZING.

First, a brief explanation of the geography. Pohnpei is one of the four states of the Federated States of Micronesia, a Pacific Island country north of the equator. The FSM is made up of more than 600 islands spanning 1,700 miles of ocean.

Not many tourists go there because it’s so remote, but it’s a fascinating country with wonderful people, amazing food and stunningly beautiful landscapes, and I loved it so much. I’ve spent YEARS reading and writing about this country, and this was my first time ever visiting. It was everything I had hoped it would be and more!

I went there for work—to do research. I learned so much and I made a lot of friends and it was amazing to just be there. We had four days of meetings, and then the weekend. That’s when I finally got to explore the island, and I had not one, not two, but THREE of the best experiences I think I’ve ever had in my life.

Visiting the ancient city of Nan Madol

Climbing a giant basalt rock at sunset

Hunting for World War II anti-aircraft guns in the jungle

This is a long post—with photos!—so it’s going under the cut.

The first was going to Nan Madol, which is a beautiful, ancient city built out of basalt about 800 years ago. It lies on the southwest side of the island, about an hour away from Kolonia, where we were staying. My coworker and I rented a car and drove there, and the whole way we saw beautiful views of cloud-wreathed mountains in the island’s interior. Fortunately, when we got close to Nan Madol we got directions from a very nice Micronesian couple, because there were no signs telling us where to go. We paid the landowners the fee to cross their land, as is customary, and then we walked on the path through the mangrove forests towards the city.

When I first saw it, I literally could not believe my eyes, it was so incredible. I didn’t know it would be so big! Some of the structures are crumbling into the sea, but many of them are intact, and stand as tall as 30 feet. The pieces of basalt that form the structures are also gigantic. The city is crisscrossed by canals, and at low tide you can wade in them to get from place to place. There are many trees and ferns among the ruins, but the city has clearly been well taken care of. It was completely quiet except for birdsong and the sound of the waves.

I felt like I had stepped through a window into the past. It was indescribable. My coworker and I were the only people there. We were there for two hours, and didn’t come close to seeing it all—there was too much to take in. It was amazing wading in the canals and walking around the giant structures and looking at the moss-covered stones. It was one of the most majestic things I have ever seen. When we were getting ready to leave, I got a photo of a gorgeous bright red honeyeater called a Micronesian myzomela.

Later that night my coworker flew back to the US, so I spent the next few days having solo adventures. And they were ADVENTURES.

The next day I went hiking on a peninsula across the water from Kolonia. It forms a tall ridge and ends with a giant basalt outcrop called Sokehs Rock. First I climbed the ridge from the southwest side to see the view from the top and the Japanese anti-aircraft guns that are still there in the jungle. It was stiflingly hot. The climb up the switchbacks was a 45 degree angle. The ridge is 600 feet above sea level, and the view was absolutely spectacular—I could see all of Kolonia below, and the mountains in the interior, and an expanse of bright blue ocean with Pohnpei’s northern islands scattered across it like little jewels.

At the top of the ridge I finally entered the jungle. There were towering trees, giant ferns, and bright purple orchids, and the air was full of birdcalls. I had a map, but I quickly realized that the path to the Japanese guns was gone: it hadn’t been used in years. So I struck off into the jungle looking for them, hoping that I wouldn’t get lost. I decided to walk where the trees appeared less thick and hope that was where the path used to be. It was very muddy, and I walked face-first into MANY spiderwebs, and it was so fun and exciting.

I started getting close to the western side of the ridge. Then I saw something unmistakable, but hard to believe it’s still there after almost 80 years: a bomb crater from World War II. It was at least 30 feet deep and 30 feet wide, and blanketed with leaves, but it was obvious what it was. I knew I was getting close to one of the guns, so I started going faster, and nearly tripped over it! The barrel was jutting out across the grass, the body of the gun hidden in a cave-like bunker cut into the side of the ridge, with long grass hanging down over the opening. It was incredible. I climbed down into the bunker to get a better look at the gun, and I took a lot of photos, but I was assailed by some very angry bats that did not like being awakened during the day, so I climbed out. (There is no rabies in Micronesia, thankfully.)

At this point, it was getting late in the day, and I still wanted to climb Sokehs Rock. I knew that the next few days it would rain, so I had to do it now. I went back down the ridge and caught a taxi to the end of the peninsula where the other trail was located. The driver told me that no one had climbed Sokehs Rock in at least ten years, but I didn’t believe him—I had heard it was the popular thing to do here, so how could that be? (I was soon to learn my error.)

I started up the trail, only to find that there was no trail. I thought it had been hard to find a path through the trees earlier—this was worse. The trees were all much too close together and covered in strangling vines. It was incredibly steep—five minutes after setting off I was already climbing on my hands and knees over boulders and under fallen trees. But I didn’t want to give up! I could see the basalt cliff above me through the canopy. I knew that I could (or rather I was stubbornly determined to) make it to the top of that cliff before sundown. I wanted to see the view! And I didn’t want to waste my efforts so far. So I pressed on.

It was NOT easy getting through those trees. I had a map of where the path USED to be, but the forest was so wild, it didn’t really matter. Finally I reached the bottom of a cliff that was about 35-40 feet tall. There was a rope attached to a tree high above me. I had read about this (on a hiking blog written ten years ago—a fact I suddenly remembered) so I knew I was in the right place.

Climbing the cliff was incredibly fun. There were some handholds and footholds, but I was grateful for the rope. I was very careful. I had not expected the hike to be so harrowing, and the last thing I wanted was to break my ankle (or my neck) alone in the middle of the jungle. I made it to the top of the cliff safely, and I was rewarded by an incredible view of the basalt cliffs rising on either side and Kolonia down below as the last rays of the sun pierced through the forest behind me. There was a terrifying drop off to my left, so I sat very still and took some photos.

I knew I had about fifteen minutes before sunset and total darkness. It was both exhilarating and peaceful, being up there alone. The wind was blowing in the branches, and the lights in Kolonia were twinkling on. The ocean was turning a dark blue in the fading light. I knew it was stupid to go hiking by myself, climb a cliff by myself, and then—yes—climb down the ridge in the dark. But sometimes you have to do foolish things. I put myself in this situation, and I accepted the consequences. At least I had enough common sense to climb down the vertical cliff part of it while there was still a little daylight left…

There was enough light for my eyes but not enough for my camera, so I used the flash. This is looking straight down the cliff, about a 35 foot drop onto jagged boulders! Yes, I know. Poor choices were made.

I reached the bottom of the cliff and maybe five minutes passed before it was pitch black. I turned on my flashlight. I had to be very careful about every step I took: I didn’t want to step on a stone that would give way, or a fallen tree that would give way, or get tripped by a vine, or fall in a ditch. If this forest was difficult to get through in the daylight, it was much worse in the dark. At one point I ended up waist-deep in vines and tangled tree branches, and I felt around for the ground and realized I had somehow wandered over a ravine and there WAS no ground beneath me—I was standing on branches, and I didn’t even know how far down it went. That was very disconcerting. I remembered that scene in the Hobbit when they’re in Mirkwood and I practically heard Gandalf’s voice scolding me: “Don’t leave the path!”

Not that there was a path, of course. But I did find my way back onto solid ground after that. I stood still and turned off my flashlight just to see what it was like, and I saw bioluminescent insects on the leaves of the trees. The forest was just as loud with birdcalls as it was during the day, and when I turned my flashlight back on it illuminated some bats swooping overhead. I started recognizing the same boulders and trees that had given me trouble on the way up, and now instead of being annoyed by them I was reassured. Still, it was very difficult getting out of that forest.

I finally saw the glow of a streetlamp through the trees, and I found myself wandering out of the forest onto the road. I was absolutely covered in mud except where sweat had washed it off. There was a cricket inside my shirt that I had somehow failed to notice. I was so tired. I felt so alive. I went back to my hotel, took a shower, and went straight to sleep. I was oddly unscathed: just a few scratches and cuts on my hands.

Here is a photo of Sokehs Rock that I took on a different day, with an arrow to the part that I climbed:

On Monday I was supposed to take a day of leave, but I had more meetings that spilled over from the week before—not that I minded! They were really interesting. And it was raining like hell. In the afternoon I went to see a waterfall.

But what I really want to recount is my final adventure.

On Tuesday, the day I was going to leave Pohnpei, my eyes snapped open at 5:30am and there was one thought in my mind: ANTI-AIRCRAFT GUNS. I had to go back to Sokehs Ridge to see the other two anti-aircraft guns—I had only found one of them before. I knew I would be disappointed if I didn’t try. It was raining, and my legs were sore from all the hiking I’d already done, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I went back to Sokehs Ridge. And I climbed it again. And the view was just as beautiful on a cloudy day. Now the orchids were covered in raindrops, and the light rain that was falling was so refreshing.

I got to the top of the ridge and struck off into the jungle again to find the other two anti-aircraft guns. I had the same map from the other day, but the paths on it were nowhere to be seen (at least I wasn’t surprised by this anymore). I just used my sense of direction and whatever supernatural abilities I possess to home in on World War II guns. It was even muddier than before, of course, and I was constantly being slapped by wet leaves and vines and branches. I walked into a wet spiderweb every yard or so. Far from detracting from the experience, it actually made it more fun, for some reason.

Besides, I had hiked out of a jungle thicker than this IN THE DARK, so this forest wasn’t going to stop me! I went in the general direction I assumed one of the guns was located, trying to find the path of least resistance. Eventually I saw the ground rising steeply on my right side and a more open grassy area to the left. The higher ground on the right ultimately formed a grassy wall about six feet high, and I couldn’t see what was behind it. I found an opening in the wall and waded through some ankle-deep mud, and I was looking down at my shoes trying to pull my feet free when I finally looked up—and there it was, a type 89 anti-aircraft naval gun. Why they put guns that were usually mounted on ships on a mountain, I’m not sure, but IT WAS SO COOL.

It was covered in rust and ferns and vines. It was massive. It was so surreal to see this giant gun just sitting in the middle of the jungle. I took photos of it from all angles. The gun was surrounded by a grassy embankment that I had seen from the other side—I couldn’t quite get far enough away from it to take the photos I wanted, so I climbed up on the wall to take them from a distance. Then I climbed back down to continue marveling at it.

This anti-aircraft gun is sitting in the exact same place it was during World War II. Back then, it could shoot down a plane at 48,000 feet. It took a year for laborers to push it up to the top of the ridge. I love museums, but this was about a billion times better than being in a World War II museum.

Then I went in search of the other anti-aircraft gun—the same type, but farther east. It was harder to find. I went in the direction I thought it was, but there was just a field. On the other side of the field, maybe 15 yards away, there was more jungle, and beyond I knew I would find the track that had gotten me up the ridge, and I would have gone too far. But there was clearly no anti-aircraft gun between me and the line of trees. I went into the field anyway—and quickly learned that fields are deceptive and not any easier than forests. The grass was up to my eyes. I couldn’t see where my feet were, and it turned out that the ground was treacherously uneven, rising and falling constantly, and by turns I was getting my feet stuck in mud or clambering on uneven stones or nearly slipping in the wet grass. I needed to find the gun!

I saw some higher ground to my right and I thought I should go that way, so I did, only to find the barrels of the gun pointed straight at me. It had been hidden by the ridges of the land and vines and foliage. When I had started into the field, it had been no less than 15 feet away, completely invisible! It was the coolest thing—to be completely alone in this gorgeous jungle, staring down the barrels of a 6,000 pound anti-aircraft gun from a war eight decades ago. But this one was even more covered in foliage—a tree had engulfed more than half of it.

I took so many photos. And it was so hard to pry myself away, but I finally did, feeling very satisfied. I thought about it on the way down the ridge: why was this SO MUCH FUN? And I think a big part of it had to do with the fact that there were no paths. I didn’t actually KNOW I was going to find the guns. I wasn’t guaranteed to find anything, except more trees. Finding each gun was a challenge. It was like going on a treasure hunt.

I went back to my hotel, took a shower, finished packing, and made it to the airport on time. That was my last day in the Federated States of Micronesia. I CANNOT WAIT TO GO BACK.

[pbreverie]

PHANTASIE BOYS: Episode One

The first half of the episode introduces you to all of the members through individual interviews. During said interviews, they talk about their passion, personality, specialities, etc. In the second half, all of the members move into their new dorm, except Haoran, Mingtao, Jason and Shoji, who were already living there. The dorm has three rooms, which are split by age, and the arrangement is as follows;

Room 1: Shoji, Mingtao

Room 2: Jinho, Haoran

Room 3: Jason, Dowon, Taejoon

Here are the key points from each interview:

☁️ Shoji's Intro

“Hello,” Shoji flashes the camera a bright, toothy smile, “my name is Sasaki Shoji and I’m 23 years old.” Videos of him dancing play in the background as he begins to speak again. “I'm from Tokyo, Japan, and I've been in Korea for almost three years.”

Why do you want to debut?

“I love dancing! I can't really explain it but… I just feel best when I'm dancing.” He shuffles in his seat. “Once I got scouted I just felt like, ‘I have to go for it.’”

What is your speciality?

“Uh… well, apart from dancing, there's not much I'm good at,” he chuckles lightheartedly, “but I used to do impressions.” He begins to showcase a… questionable impression of Eleboo (Electrabuzz) and Lucky (Chansey) from Pokémon. There's a brief moment of awkward silence once he finishes, but then the camera cuts to him laughing hysterically, “are you sure this is ok?!”

☁️ Mingtao's Intro

“Hello, my name is Lǚ Míng Tāo, I am 23 and I come from New Taipei City,” he smiles politely at the camera as he speaks, “I've been training for almost two years now.”

Why do you want to debut?

“When I was at school for dance, my favourite part was always the big end of year performance we would put on.” The interview pauses briefly to show one of his dance performances from university. “I always thought It'd be great to be able to do stuff like that regularly, so I decided to become an idol once I graduated.”

What's your speciality?

“Speciality?” The camera cuts after a long pause. “…I'm good at Mahjong.” He looks behind the camera expectantly, “that won't do? Then what else am I supposed to say?” The interview ends without Mingtao showing a speciality.

☁️ Jinho's Intro

“Hello, my name is Lee Jinho, I am 22 and I have been training for around 3 years. ” He smiles gently at the camera. “I grew up in Andong, and I used to be in a band during highschool.” The video cuts to some clips of Jinho playing an electric guitar and singing in his old school uniform.

Why do you want to debut?

“Personally, I just always loved singing, especially on stage,” he smiles wistfully, “I didn’t even think about K-pop initially. I just knew that, no matter what, I had to be on stage.”

What's your speciality?

“Guitar?” He watches the faces of the staff behind the camera for a moment. “Ah, not related to music or dance? Then… maybe push-ups? I think I can do about 30 in a minute.” He actually does the push-ups, 32 infact, in 2.5x speed.

☁️ Haoran's Intro

“Hello! My name is Yú Hào Rán and I am 21 years old.” His excitement practically jumps through the screen, and the wide smile on his face is blinding. “I was born and raised in Guangzhou, China, but I've been training in Korea for five- going on six- years!”

Why do you want to debut?

“Originally, I wanted to study musical theatre and work as an actor.” As he speaks, a scene from one of his old performances plays. “But I also really loved listening to groups like Exo, and I became more interested in K-pop idols than theatre.”

What's your speciality?

“Ah! I've been waiting for this question!” He eagerly sits up in his seat as he rolls up his sleeves. “Watch.” He extends his arm to the side, and his forearm is slightly bent below his elbow at around 200 degrees. “Why don't you guys look surprised?” He pouts slightly, flapping the arm for good measure.

☁️ Jason's Intro

“Hello, my name is Jason Lee, I'm from L.A.” He throws up the L.A. sign and grins at the camera. “I'm 21 years old and I've been training for three years.”

Why do you want to debut?

“Watching my idols on stage, I was always like, ‘wow they look so cool’, and then I started dancing myself and I was like, ‘wow I feel so cool’, so I wanted to become an idol aswell.”

What is your speciality?

“I can move my ears!” He wiggles them back and forth. “Was that kinda lame?” He watches the staff's reactions and laughs to himself.

☁️ Dowon’s Intro

“Hello, I am Yang Dowon! I am 21 years old and I was born and raised in Seoul. I've been training for nearly three years.”

Why do you want to debut?

“I love making music, rapping, performing… I don't think there's any other job I would do if not for music.” He grins bashfully, brushing through the back of his hair.

What is your speciality?

“Extraversion? Seriously I think people can’t not be friends with me,” He laughs with a cheeky glint in his eyes, “I'm just too loveable.” By now, the staff have seemingly given up on getting a decent answer to this question.

☁️ Taejoon's Intro

“Hello, I am Kim Taejoon, 20 years old, and I have lived in Seoul for almost my entire life.” He offers the camera a gracious smile. “I have been training for two years.”

Why do you want to debut?

“Well… I was always interested in idols, so I thought I'd try it out.” His lips purse in inquisition. “But the more I trained, the more I enjoyed singing and dancing, and I actually became dedicated.”

What is your speciality?

“Face?” He says with a straight face, pausing for three long seconds before giggling and perking up slightly, “looking pretty is the best right?"

[#PHANTASIEBOYSEP1 on Twitter]

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!

[oca-rinn-a]

Unfortunately just discovered a bird slaughtering facility in my neighborhood.

I was on a walk and, as a person who loves birds, was excited to hear bird sounds very close. It sounded vaguely gull-ish, so I looked up, but within a split second realized with horror that three feet in front of me on the sidewalk sat about ten crates cruelly overstuffed with live birds. Turkeys, chickens, and ducks. They couldn't move in the crates.

The turkeys had no room for any position other than laying. The crate squashing them down and together, it was the turkeys I heard, as they reacted to someone approaching. Black eyes of young turkeys, wondering what was next for them. Think of them, please, when you see their carcasses labeled with kind words in a grocery store this Thanksgiving season. Nothing kind happens to them. At no point in their life do they get to have quality time with any friends or family. It's the cruelest marketing there is.

Their crate was stacked atop two more crates stuffed with chickens. As small as the chickens were in comparison to the turkeys, there were so many packed in together that they could not turn around, and the crate was so shallow that their leg joint could only reach a maximum angle of 30 degrees. They were restless, and they were the majority. The other three stacks of crates were almost all chickens, the one exception being a crate of ducks.

The ducks were the liveliest. They seemed angriest, their crate second from the top of the stack, sandwiched between two crates of chickens. The ducks' long necks were forced into a dipped position. They communicated and tried their best to find egress. They don't want to be here, and they have never had a say in what happens to them. They want water and grass and there's only plastic and concrete and their own excrement.

A chicken in a crate in the middle of the stack relieves themselves, the excrement splashing forcefully onto the chickens in crates beside and below.

None of these birds can move. They have no options. There is no room, they are in literal cages. I don't know when they were delivered to the door of the slaughterhouse, and I don't know how much longer they will have to suffer there, smashed and aching and covered in shit. Impossibly confused about their situation.

I honestly hope, for their sakes, that they're dead by now. For their sakes and for my own peace, I hope they're dead, and I hope you think about them.

[tanadrin]

Is there like a popularity threshold below which you'd allow people to act/perform music/create art for the public? Or must it all be automated to save people from the potential negative effects of fame?

hmm, first off, disclaimer: posts prefixed with "hot take" are intentionally inflammatory, not carefully considered proposals, and are not things which i necessarily actually endorse wholeheartedly (or at all). this particular post was inspired by me stumbling across a reddit post on r/all where a ton of people who as far as i know do not personally know joe jonas and sophie turner were intensely discussing if and why they might be divorcing. like jesus christ, people. you don't know these two, you never will, and you have no reason whatsoever to care even an iota about their lives, except that the Monkey Status Module sitting on top of your limbic system is telling you "ooh! high-status monkey! let us pay attention to them!"

actors, and certain kinds of musicians, for whatever reason seem to come in for this kind of obsessive treatment most of all, second only perhaps to the british royal family. probably because they're intensely recognizable, and often attractive. they serve, i suppose, as a canvas for projecting our own hopes and insecurities. every once in a while i get served a tiktok which alludes to the existence of the people who secretly believe that a) taylor swift is a lesbian, and b) she is carefully sending coded messages about her lesbianism to her die-hard fans through her music. this is objectively insane behavior. just truly a monumental waste of time. the people who spend their time and energy thinking about this sort of thing are the equivalent of sovcits--deranged, if frequently by the grace of god not quite deranged enough to qualify for a clinical diagnosis.

there are celebrities of other categories who 1) tend not to achieve fame until a little bit later in life (and so are less prone to actual exploitation) and b) even when they do so tend not to attract the same kind of obsessive, rabid maniacs. writers rarely make it big before their 30s; even prodigies like christopher paolini don't become objects of obsession, or superstardom. jk rowling became like the first or second person ever to make it to billionaire status off her writing career, but people still don't really give her deference, or obsess about her personal life. politicians are very well known, but frequently held in (IMO) a healthy degree of contempt and suspicion simply by virtue of their profession. you get exceptions like Trump--but they're obviously divisive figures, often as deeply unpopular with the broader public as they are popular with their own core constituency. many smaller or more workaday musicians, who are not the subject of marketing pushes by large labels, but who may still be widely known.

we could imagine a system where all entertainment and celebrity gossip magazines were simply banned, and nobody was allowed to act in TV or film until they were 45. that would have a certain charm to it! it might help revitalize struggling regional theater scenes, as people honed their craft in anticipation of competing for film roles once they came of age. and, of course, it would be great to see child roles played by, like Hugh Jackman walking on his knees. all drama is artifice, after all; what we take as acceptable deviation from reality now (like 20 year olds playing high schoolers in TV shows) is simply a result of convention and habit; we could form new convention and new habits if we really wanted to. personally, i think gary oldman could play any role he set his mind to if we gave him a chance.

but technology offers us a better way. really, we've had the technology since we invented animation, but i suppose there is always a desire to achieve a certain verisimilitude in certain kinds of art. we no longer have to compromise. between AI and sophisticated computer graphics, why not simply abolish those professions that tend to produce figures that (for reasons of marketing or simply a defect in our ape-minds) we cannot be normal about? we can create sui generis faces for each film or TV show. maybe we can demand all pop music stars go about masked like the daft punk duo.

that's no help with the royals or for sports stars, though i think i am pretty much on record as saying both those jobs would, in the best of all possible worlds, be abolished for other reasons anyway.

[sorryiwasasleep]

Personal rant

I started my final year of schooling last week and I’ve already missed 9 out of 11 classes so far. I’m burning up all my unexcused absences and I can’t even bring myself to care at all because I don’t want to be in this program getting this degree and I feel incredibly trapped and overwhelmed. I can’t make myself do the readings. I can’t make myself go to class. I can’t make myself care. I can’t seem to do anything at all but lay in bed. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this for another year. Fuck, I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this even just next week when I no longer can miss class without an excusal. And I can’t drop out anymore cause the deadline for full reimbursement passed, but also that was never a real option for me anyway cause dropping out would also likely mean moving home and that’s just as bad for my brain. Even right now I should be doing my readings for my class that’s at 3:30, but instead I’m typing this. Because I’m sad and I don’t care. But because I didn’t do the readings? I feel like I can’t go to class, so I WON’T which in turn is a problem cause I am using all my skips and I’m missing the first two weeks of class so I’m going to go in SO fucking confused next week probably. Shit shit shit shit fuck.

TW: weight discussion, emetophobia, eating disorder mention (just by name nothing specific), ARFID, depression, anxiety, apathy, mention of American politics

Heavier discussion below

I recently realized (i don’t have a scale in my apt) that I lost about 40 pounds in the span of about 5 months all from a combination of stress/my ADHD medication suppressing my appetite (vyvanse bitch ass doesn’t even work) and stress induced vomited and also vomiting because I treat my body like shit (don’t drink water, cope with unhealthy substances a lil too often, don’t eat anything remotely healthy, barely eat at all anymore if I’m being honest). I knew I’d lost some cause clothes were looser. I thought it was like 10. But no I know how much I weighed in March and it was a full difference of 40 and I know part of this stress and the stress induced vomiting are being caused by school and it’s like… I have another year. Am I just gonna keep wasting away? Something’s gotta give here and I know shit has to change but I have absolutely no drive to actually climb out of the hole I’ve buried myself in. I feel like there’s no point and that even if I crawl out, the world is the same and my family is the same and I’m still in this program and so nothing is actually different anyway. I just wanna let the dirt consume me. I wanna lay in my bed with a sitcom playing mindlessly in the background while I work on my silly little fanfictions until everything just stops except I lay in bed and don’t even do those things but am paralyzed by all the things I should be doing instead that I neglected because I didn’t care and I still don’t care enough to do it, but I feel bad enough to not do anything else either in that time. And I know that’s BAD and that having no motivation for anything is obviously super a ‘ur depression is worse girl’ (hi yea i fucking live inside this stupid head so I already fucking know that. @/my psych and parents). but I keep getting cancelled on or stood up by therapists and my psych has told me three appointments now shit like ‘Well what do you want me to do about?’ (Without even fucking considering something like uhhhhh… idk changing the meds I’m on? Since I’m at the max dose for my anti depressant and I’ve been on it for about half a year and I feel it stagnated because while it seemed to help when I started, now I’m worse? Like, I tell you I feel the worst I’ve ever felt in my entire life and you answer ‘And what do you want me to do?’ YOUR FUCKING JOB? Provide me with my options???? Not be a dick?) And she keeps saying I have to find a therapist because the meds only do so much (I had one but she went on maternity leave in January and then when she came back from it I was too broke to pay every week (which is what my bitch ass brain needs) and then when I wasn’t broke any longer she had ghosted me and she also was my provider for two years and never actually gave me any coping mechanisms so I kinda wanted a new one anyway). The psych did not like when I laughed at her and said “And will you fucking pay for it?” in response the first time she said it even though obviously I know she’s right.

My roommate told me the other day also that I need to get a therapist and that I have to focus my energy into that because she can’t listen to me say the same complaints anymore (she said it nicely, but like I’m crying rn thinking about it and will likely never feel safe to share with her anymore for worry of annoying her.) She also said she doesn’t think I want to help myself. That she wants me to get better and obviously it’s shit what’s happening but that I’m not doing the (what are to her obvious and to me impossible to actually do because of familial enmeshment and financial dependence) things that could maybe make things better. Even though… I AM trying to help myself. Yea it’s not the best I can be doing, but it’s as much as I can fucking manage given my surety that none of this matters and isn’t that worth something? I’ve been looking for a therapist since MAY. They keep standing me up or cancelling or they’re booked or they don’t take my insurance. I had five (5) telehealths where I got stood up. Starting therapy anew is already terrifying but when the person doesn’t show up it just feels like shit. It made me feel like they looked at my paperwork and decided I wasn’t fucked up enough when the reality is yea I held back slightly but that’s because I needed to know the vibes of the place first. That’s not what happened (for at least three appts anyway. The other two ghosted me also after so I never got explanation so maybe it did) but I still felt that way and for someone who already has a lot of problems with imposter syndrome and deep insecurities around being forgotten it really sucked and was incredibly unprofessional of any worker but especially mental health care professionals to do. I have one on Friday. Let’s hope this one doesn���t stand me up 🤞 Also, back to my ungodly amount of rapid weight loss, I did have 40 pounds that could’ve been shed and I am still not what would be consider ‘skinny’ but an average weight, so the worst part of this whole thing is that people are telling me i look GOOD now. Literally it was my MOM. She always implied I’m overweight and need to lose it and pretends like it’s ‘in your best interest honey’ meanwhile I can’t even do the fucking obligations I’m tied to? You think I can fucking do EXTRA? And yea I should use that kickboxing class that I bought, but not to lose weight mother, but because I’m not physically fit in that I cannot go up stairs without getting winded and because I have all the rage in the world (a portion of which goes to her!) and hitting things makes me feel better and it expires soon and was $40 I won’t get back. None of those reasons have to do with my weight, but if I mention I went to that class to her? She’s going to be SO excited on the phone, for all the wrong reasons thinking it’s me trying to get thin, when it’s me trying to get healthy. That is not equivalent to weight loss necessarily, as clearly evidenced here since I lost a shit ton unhealthily. This weekend I got a ‘Do you lose weight? Cause you look great!’ from her. 🫠🙄And i know that people would even more so do that if I do continue on this path of wasting away even though I’m actually unhealthier than I’ve ever been with my eating habits and the weight loss is a result of my depression and anxiety spiraling worse. How about we as a society stop fucking commenting on other peoples weight period full stop. Also it’s SAYING something that I’m the worst ever rn because food and I have always had a weird vibe. I recently learned what ARFID is and I’m fairly confident I’ve had that my entire life and just never had the name for it so that’s certainly something. Anyway idek what the point of this was other than for me to shout into the void because I was sad. If the void wants to shout back and tell me how I’m supposed to function in this life that’d be great cause I didn’t even HIT the state of the world and how that causes half my lack of motivation for anything in this post, but god the American political and legal landscape fill me dread and anxiety and anger and I can never escape them.

TLDR: I’m sad, I can’t bring myself to go to class at all in these first two weeks of classes. I need a therapist but they keep cancelling when I finally get an appointment and find one that accepts my insurance. My psych is kinda bad and my roommate was trying to help but did it in a way that hurt me more. I wanna drop out but can’t and also school is impacting my mental health so severely that I lost an extreme amount of weight in a short amount of time. Got complimented by mom even though I’m literally unhealthy. Separate from that but intertwined, I might have ARFID, possibly for my whole life and I am genuinely SHOCKED it never once was suggested by a medical professional to my parents when I was a child.

[b1oodandchocolate]

In this post:

About the Muse (Dr. Frederick Chilton, NBC Hannibal)

About the Mun (Hi, I’m Casper!)

I’ll Write...

I Won’t Write...

Character Headcanons (HC’s and Canon-Divergent Ideas) 

RP Rules

This is my secondary RP blog! Freddie Lounds (NBC Hannibal) is my main character. You can find my blog for her here, @thegreatestjournalistofalltime​ , on which I would also be thrilled to write with you if you’d like! Both are independent and selective.

All dividers used below were made by saradika​. Please go check out her work. It’s all lovely.

Dr. Frederick Chilton is an arrogant, self-absorbed man who desires nothing more than to be admired and recognized in the world of psychiatry. He had initially attempted to achieve this notoriety as a surgeon, but he lacked the skills necessary and thus switched to a different medical field. He always seems to be in Hannibal's shadow, and it bothers him. So much so that he attempts to imitate the man more than he may even realize.

Like Freddie Lounds, he resorts to shady means to attain his desired status. However, he always seems to fall short, regardless.

Here’s Chilton’s Wiki Bio for more information if you haven’t seen the show ❤️

Hello, there! My name is Casper. I’m transmasc non-binary (my pronouns are they/them/theirs or he/him/his) and I’m over the age of 30. I’m neurodivergent as fuck, and, despite writing for shady characters, I’m a soft boi  😅 

I’m kind of the stereotypical introvert, so I know I can sometimes come across as standoffish (especially online), but I promise that I’m friendly! I just have a super low threshold for socializing, especially with people I don’t know or don’t know very well yet, which sometimes makes it seem like I don’t want to talk to someone, when the reality is that I just can’t at a given time. Especially since it’s super easy for me to hit “burnout mode.”

Anyway, I’m hoping that I can actually do something of substance with this blog and stick around a while lol. Please don’t be afraid to say hi! Just please keep in mind that I may not be able to respond right away.

Lastly, this is my Ao3, which has been collecting dust and pretty much only has Chilton stuff on it (except for that one Nevada fic) lol: casperlounds on Ao3

Fluffy stuff

Platonic relationships

Consensual NSFW stuff (please see rules below)

Violent or Dark Themes (please see rules below)

Canon-Compliant OR Canon-Divergent Stuff

RP with Non-Hannibal Characters from Other Shows/Movies

RP with OCs in OR Outside of Hannibal

And more...

NonCon/Sexual Violence

Various Kinks (please see rules below)

Varying Degrees of Gore (please see rules below)

Burned Chilton (please see character headcanons below)

And more...

His arrogance and superiority stem from deep-seeded feelings of not being good enough (though, is this even really a headcanon? It's implied canon lol).

His father was a surgeon and incredibly tough on him growing up. His mother was a history professor and, though she was more encouraging, she wasn't too much better.

Only child. Didn't have very many friends growing up.

In RP where it's in his history that he was kidnapped by Dolarhyde, Chilton was rescued before the Dragon could maim and burn him. The details can vary based on RP (if it makes sense), but my HC is that he was being tracked and Jack and Will expected that Chilton might become the target instead of Will. This is the one canon-divergent thing I won't budge on because it fucked me up way too badly when I saw it in the show and I have to skip over it any time I do a rewatch. I don't care who was in that chair, that was brutal and nobody deserves that.

Bisexual.

Hasn't had a romantic or physical relationship with anyone in a really long time. He gets lonely in his ostentatious house by himself, but he'd never admit it. He's also the kind of person to try to ignore it if he starts developing feelings for someone because he fears rejection.

Please read these rules before requesting to roleplay.

This blog is 18+ ONLY. Therefore, I will also only write with people over the age of 18. Minors, please DNI.

If you want to RP with me, please PM me and let me know what you had in mind. Please do not post a starter without discussing things with me first. That way, we can also decide who will start things off!

I will only accept random starters from certain people. If I get comfortable enough, I’ll let you know if I’m OK with your doing that. However, please don’t take this personally! As I stated in the About the Mun section, I’m both neurodivergent and have trouble with social spaces.

That said, if I post an Open Starter that reads “(anyone may reply),” I mean anyone, even non-mutuals. Any Open Starters meant solely for mutuals will be clearly marked to avoid confusion. However, for those who do reply (thank you!), please be aware that I may not get to yours or it may or may not turn into a longer RP.

Please understand that I often struggle with burnout and extreme fatigue, as well as other symptoms stemming from ADHD. Therefore, there will be times when I write more and times that I write less. I also might find it easier to work on one thing over another at a given time, but that doesn't mean I don’t value the partner or the RP I’m not working on. If this doesn't work for you, that’s totally understandable, just please don’t start writing with me if this is something you think will be a problem. That wouldn’t be fair to either of us.

On that same note, please be aware that I will not be writing page-long+ replies. Some of my starters/replies may be longer than others, but I generally write two or three paragraphs. If you’re looking for someone who writes lengthy replies, I’m not your guy. Realistically, I also know I wouldn’t be able to read those lengthy posts, so it wouldn’t be fair to you, either.

Despite not writing ultra lengthy replies, I do put a lot of thought and effort into them. I’ve been made aware that some people have started to use AI generated responses in RP (what a time to be alive). This is a hard no from me. I may take a while to respond, but when I do, I do so to the best of my abilities. I’d hope my partners do the same.

If you want to drop or rework/restart a thread or idea that we’re working on together, please let me know!

Please don’t message me asking when I’m going to get to your response. All that does is make me anxious. I’ll likely let you know, myself, when I can get around to it if you’ve been waiting.

Likewise, please don’t spam message me, especially if I haven’t responded. That makes me incredibly anxious and less likely to respond at all.

However, please do message me if you have questions or want to discuss an idea in the RP we’re working on!!!

I will not have exclusive partners for a given character (i.e. a single Hannibal Lecter that I write with and no other Hannibals). There may be people I write with most frequently for a given character, but I won’t exclude other people.

If you aren’t sure if I’ll be comfortable with something, please ask. This includes NSFW themes, dark themes, violence, and gore. I will do the same for you!

As a general rule, I’ll likely not be comfortable with most kinks. You can ask in PMs while we plan our roleplay, but please know that the answer will likely be “no.”

In the event that you want to RP NSFW stuff, please let me know at the start that this is something you'd like to explore. However, also keep in mind that if I’m not feeling the connection, if it it doesn't make sense for our muses after we get into the RP, I won’t force it. Likewise, I’m also aware that sometimes things will gradually, naturally lead to romantic or sexual places, so it’s fine if that happens organically as we go.

This post and all its sections are subject to change or revision. If that happens, I’ll post that I’ve updated it.

[occult-roommates]

Content warning for discussion of ED and gun violence below the cut. Viewer’s discretion is advised.

The following day, Akva asked Dawud if his “pilot friend” was available soon, you know, the one who was adopted and got attachment issues. She had to wait the next morning for that, but yeah, he had a bit of free time to see her. Just had to meet him at the airport.

Dawud: Ok, so my shift ends in eight hours, but I can try squeezing some time during my lunch break to help you go back home. Akva: Please Dav, I’ve lived in this city my entire life and I’m a grown ass woman, I don’t need help going back home thank you...Like we literally took the subway to make it here it’s not like you were giving me a lift...

Dawud texted Ralf to tell him Akva is here and waiting for him at the main gate, while he left to do his shift. Eventually, she found Ralf and they sat down together.

Ralf: So what did you wanted to see me for? Akva: I am so worried for the baby. I think the dad doesn’t want to put her for adoption, but I also know neither of us can afford a baby. And like, if I just give her to her adoptive family and act as if she never existed it’s of course awful, but if I stay in her life to some degree, she can actually put a face on the person who abandoned her and what if she grows to hate me cause she thinks I hate her too. Ralf: Well, to me the fact you’re still willing to stay in your baby’s life even if you can’t raise her is a big sign you do indeed love her. Akva: Easy for you to think that and be mature about, you’re a middle aged guy, I’m thinking about when she’ll be a teenager who hates everything, and what if she never outgrows that? Ralf: And you think I never was a teenager who hates everything? I really don’t know what to tell you. My situation and the one of your daughter are very different. Akva: My life already got ruined when this fucking asshole shot me in the legs and now it’s even worse. I’ll never recover from that. Ralf: I’m sorry but what???

Since that is...not something you casually drop in a conversation, Akva had some explanation to do. In short, a guy back in high school had a crush on her, and she said yes to date him. When she realized she’s not in love with him, she broke up. He stole his dad’s gun and tried to kill her in a wood. Thankfully he failed, but he did shoot the lower half of her left leg, destroying her running career.

Akva: In the years that followed I was a mess. I would only eat garbage cause it made me feel happy, and never see anyone except my parents and I’d constantly yell at them. The only good side of that is that when I finally got the motivation to start working out again I developped abs and...well let’s say I don’t even have those anymore. Ralf: Oh, I feel you. As a teenager, I would constantly overeat whenever I felt depressed which was...pretty often, but I was also terrified of putting on weight so I would exercize until I felt sick to compensate. Then as soon as I finally moved out of my parents house I no longer felt like I wanted to die all the time so I just...snapped out of it I think?  Akva: ...Sir, that is the textbook definition of bulimia.  Ralf: Oh...Ok...I never really realized that...Well, it’s been almost 30 years, don’t worry about me. It must not have been that bad of a case if I just snapped out of it without any help anyway. I am perfectly fine on all account now. Trust me, if I was still even half as bad than when I was a teenager, I would not be allowed to be a pilot.

Feeling like he had said way too much about his past, Ralf tried to leave, but as soon as he stood up, after he took just one step, Akva stopped him. Cause like, not only she does still work out, but she does so for healthy reasons, not sad disordered ones, so she’s pretty damn strong. Basically it took her no effort to drag his ass back on the bench. However, once he was back, she started crying, feeling overwhelmed by everything and you know, the hormones, which caused Ralf’s Dad Instinct™ to kick in.

Akva: I don’t want my baby to be messed up and and and I’m sorry this all happened to you. Everything about your youth seemed to have been awful. Ralf: Hey, it’s fine. Don’t worry about me ok. If anything, worry about yourself, you seem to have gone through a lot and to still be deeply traumatized. But it’s ok, if I managed to go through absolute hell and still make it to the other side not only alive but also happy and fullfiled, then so can you. And I understand right now it sounds awful and your life doesn’t feel worth living, but you know, one day you’re gonna wake up and you’ll be in your mid-forties and you’ll realize that yes, the worst is really behind you and you’ve managed to survive. That’s the good thing about hitting rock bottom at a young age, you still have your whole life to climb back up. Akva: Th-Thank you sir. Ralf: By the way, you can call me by my first name.

In the end, Akva hugged him, though he couldn’t really tell if that hug was to make him feel better, of if she deeply needed one.

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[timelxrd-victorious]

I posted 880 times in 2022

That's 669 more posts than 2021!

293 posts created (33%)

587 posts reblogged (67%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@timelxrd-victorious-a

@timelxrd-victorious

@winloseorcharmed

@heroparadigm

@etcor-archive

I tagged 849 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#takes all those he's crossed ( teine | greyfaces. ) - 186 posts

#out of gallifrey ( ooc ) - 129 posts

#fire and ice and rage ( teine ) - 62 posts

#( bramble watches doctor who. ) - 48 posts

#v: the time lord victorious ( main ) - 47 posts

#an awful lot of running ( meme. ) - 40 posts

#that's how i see the universe ( headcanon ) - 30 posts

#you're just a punk. that's what you are ( crack ) - 28 posts

#v. time is calling - 22 posts

#bramble makes things ( edits. ) - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#[ whereas with joan he could turn back to human but he doesn't want to do so because he very much is not human and doesn't want that life ]

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Some of my favorite things about Gallifreyan physiology

because there’s far more to Gallifreyan Time Lord internal anatomy than two hearts and the ability to regenerate

their skin smells like honey

core body temperature of 15 degrees Celsius (~60 degrees Fahrenheit) and capable of dropping to below-freezing temperatures 

they have two more ribs than humans (26 compared to a human’s 24)

they’re touch-telepaths and Time Lords have a reflex link which allows them to join the entire Time Lord hivemind intelligentsia as one

Gallifreyan brains are much larger than human brains with an extra brain lobe specifically used for mechanical and other bodily functions; their larger brain sizes make it impossible for brain transplants between humans and Gallifreyans

Gallifreyans have complete control over their eyes, to the point that their retinas are basically sentient (no, really)

On Gallifrey, the retina had almost replaced the fingers as the main method of communicating with machines. The human eye was not so sophisticated, just an aerial, a dish of light‐ sensitive cells shunting their observations through the blind spot. The brain had to do all of the processing, flipping the image the right way up, making sense of the movement, the shapes, the narrow range of colours. But the Time Lord retina could do a reasonable amount of thinking on its own. This could be annoying when one was trying to sleep, but it was the ideal means of talking to a computer – as well as a built‐ in identity check. —Seeing I, Jonathan Blum & Kate Orman

their eyes also do the eyeshine-in-the-dark thing that feline, canine, and equine eyes do

their blood is red-orange, has healing properties, and doesn’t even look like blood under a microscope

Gallifreyans don’t have lungs; instead they have a series of pulmonary tubes and have a respiratory bypass that when activated allows them to breathe through their skin (the pulmonary tubes also make them incredibly buoyant so good luck trying to drown one)

they’re immune to the effects of helium gas, but are susceptible to the effects of mustard gas and can be killed if they’re given anesthetic and aspirin 

they’re not intoxicated by alcohol, but can get drunk on ginger

for internal organs: they have two of everything humans have one of, four of everything humans have two of, and internal organs with no analogue in humans

15 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

#4

me, catching up on Thirteen’s era

23 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

#3

Link to pdf files of The Book of the War. Downloaded years ago from VK.

30 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

#2

Some thoughts on RTD vs Moffat vs Chibnall’s eras as I’m making my way through series 4 in my NuWho rewatch (probably gonna skip Moffat’s whole era, though).

From what I do remember of watching Moffat's era + what little I have learned about Chibnall's era so far... wow I have never seen a showrunner have as much contempt and disrespect for the showrunner that came before them that Moffat has for RTD (except for maybe the three showrunners of the Charmed reboot)

Even during the episodes Moffat wrote during Nine and Ten's eras, they feel so disjointed from the rest of the series they're in:

“The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances” introduces Jack Harkness, true, but he was a RTD character to begin with; there’s not much going on in this episode that connects to the larger arc of the season, other than Jack meeting and joining Team TARDIS

“The Girl in the Fireplace” completely disregards Rose being uncomfortable with the idea of Mickey traveling in the TARDIS with her and the Doctor, and it completely ditches the whole undercurrent of Ten and Rose’s growing relationship into a romance, recasting Rose as the nagging wife to Reinette’s shiny new mistress (thanks, I hate it)

“Blink” literally cuts the Doctor and Martha out for most of the story, and when they do finally show up, the Doctor gets most of the screentime whereas Martha gets only a handful of speaking lines (if that; Martha is usually either out-of-focus when the Doctor is onscreen, or she’s off-screen entirely)

"Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead" focuses far more on Moffat’s OC River and her future adventures with Moffat's Doctor than it does Ten and Donna.

Moffat erased everything RTD put into the show's mythos from his version of canon, via the Cracks in Time (series 5), rebooting the universe (series 5) and completely retconning Gallifrey’s destruction during the LGTW (”The Day of the Doctor”) all while focusing on an entirely new incarnation of the Doctor who fought in the war--ignoring that Eight was perfectly capable of fighting in a time war and doing what was necessary to save the universe through developments in the comics, Big Finish audio plays, and novels (the Tenth Doctor in that episode was also incredibly OOC even for Ten in his phase between Waters of Mars and The End of Time).

Even when Moffat did make references back to RTD’s era, it was only to episodes he’d written and characters he himself had introduced to canon (the sister ship to the SS Madame de Pompadour, the Weeping Angels, River Song, etc.) The few times Moffat has brought back or referenced RTD characters, it’s to have his own characters put them down and make his creations look better by comparison 

Clara: “What chapter are you on?” her charge: “Ten.” Clara: “Eleven’s the best. You’ll cry your eyes out.”

everything regarding Simm!Master and Gomez!Master interacting

literally having Clara one-up Rose, Martha, and Donna combined by splintering echoes of herself along the Doctor’s timestream and having a Gallifreyan echo of herself encourage One to steal the TARDIS, not to mention Clara becoming one-half of the Hybrid with the other half being the Doctor

Eleven on Ten’s refusal to regenerate in Journey’s End: “I had vanity issues.”

Ten in the 50th: “I don’t want to go.” Eleven: “He always says that.” 

In contrast, Chibnall has brought back Jack Harkness, the Judoon, a new male incarnation of the Master (that isn’t white, to boot), and actually made Moffat’s retcon of bringing back Gallifrey work within the narrative. He’s also drawn upon ideas that were seeded back in the Second and Seventh Doctor’s runs of the Doctor being far more than an ordinary Gallifreyan Time Lord and pretty much canonized both the Cartmel Masterplan and the Dr Nyarlathotep subtheory/expanded universe canon that the Doctor is a being from before the universe reborn into a Gallifreyan body.

40 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Funny how the DW fandom is “collectively” crying that Chibnall’s era is bad and wants Moffat back, because that was “when Doctor Who was good”, apparently, when, uh. Hmmm.

So we're just going to completely ignore the whole entire very vocal section of the fandom that hated Moffat's era and his writing in general from the word "go", eh? All the way back to when Moffat was writing episodes in the RTD era (“The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances”, “The Girl in the Fireplace”, “Blink”, “Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead”) and the problems seen in his own era were evident even back then?

We’re just going to ignore Moffat

having all his companions “wait for” the Doctor (Reinette, Amy, Clara, River)

having the white female companions or one-off characters meet the Doctor as a young girl, become obsessed with him, and have that obsession become sexual and have the female companion sexually assault him the moment she meets the Doctor as an adult again, when for the Doctor it’s only been something like ten minutes (Reinette, Amy, Clara, River)

romanticizing stalking (The Girl in the Fireplace; Blink; The Doctor, the Widow, and the Wardrobe; Series 7B’s arc with Clara, The Pilot)

retconning the massive piece of worldbuilding and one condition for the revived series to be brought back in the first place by the BBC, which was Gallifrey’s destruction in the Last Great Time War (The Day of the Doctor)

having his two Black companions die and come back as Cybermen (Danny Pink, Bill) whereas Clara 1) splinters echoes of herself throughout history, 2) ends up dying for real but then comes back, and 3) becomes immortal and gets her own TARDIS.

making the Twelfth Doctor blind for two episodes as a means of cheap drama, when 1) Gallifreyans are primarily telepathic, 2) Gallifreyans as a whole are faceblind anyway; and 3) it wasn’t even handled that well

playing off Vastra and Jenny’s relationship (they’re married lesbians, with one of them being a Silurian) in Victorian London solely for laughs, along with any other hints of queer characters and relationships being played for humor

constantly setting up convoluted story arcs and plotlines that are spread out for multiple seasons and then never get any pay-off, or are tied up in the most nonsensical shoddy way possible (series 5, series 6, series 7, everything involving the Silence and the “mystery” surrounding the Doctor’s name)

had the Twelfth Doctor constantly interrupt and talk over a Deaf character played by a Deaf actor, which again, was played for laughs

taking shots at RTD’s era and characters whenever possible to make his own characters and plotlines look better and cleverer, including erasing the majority of RTD’s era from continuity via the cracks in time and then rebooting the universe (not to mention the blatant classism directed at Rose and the palpable disdain for the Doctor/Rose Tyler as a ship) (The Day of the Doctor, The Bells of Saint John, The Girl in the Fireplace, etc.)

playing off the mere idea of the Doctor regenerating into a female body as a joke (The Curse of Fatal Death, 1999) when the Doctor had already been established in the expanded universe and Classic series as nonbinary by Gallifreyan and human standards

used a whole episode to argue that all refugees are actually evil, an invasion force, and “don’t trust refugees or immigrants who don’t want to assimilate into the culture of the country they’ve sought refuge in”

had River Song’s character revolve entirely around the Doctor

Moffat was an absolute shite showrunner, and plenty of people stopped watching at various points during his era (I personally know quite a few who stopped watching during series 6).

Whereas Chibnall... *checks notes*

had an episode set during Jim Crow-era, segregated 1950s Alabama, pointed out how the racism of the setting affected three of the Doctor’s companions more than xemself, and flat out said that while dealing with the racist time-traveller, the best they could do was get history back on track without helping Rosa Parks

had another episode focusing on religious tension, discrimination, and the dividing up families and neighbors across borders that didn’t exist previously

drew on Classic series and expanded universe canon to add on to the Doctor’s backstory: specifically, canonizing the Cartmel Masterplan 

has the Doctor dealing with others around xem perceiving xem as a cis woman, even though xe was always nonbinary and never had really identified as a man 

Thasmin

has the Doctor and the Master destroy Gallifrey again, because bringing it back in the first place was dumb and the Doctor doesn’t really want anything to do with Gallifrey in the first place

I don’t know about you, but one of these showrunners and the way he writes episodes is a lot worse in how he handles material. And it’s not Chibnall.

I said what I said.

And no, I do not accept criticism.

75 notes - Posted February 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[spookclimber]

okay rant/mini(large words of) mental breakdown below

i walked to my car for a lunch break i didn’t want to take and discovered i have a parking citation, because my plates are expired, which i fucking forgot to do a few months ago because my life was falling apart and now it lowkey feels the same. i have rent, other monthly bills and now this that i have to fucjing deal with and also not park anywhere that could be bad until i get my plates renewed, which idk how long that’ll be.

on top of that my new job that i was fairly excited for is fine, i guess, but it’s it and pays not nearly what my college degree says i’m worth. i cannot handle sitting at a desk doing actually nothing until someone asks a question like this one i saw today, “should i click this ‘you have 3 new viruses’ popup.”

i feel like i used to be able to do things, and now i’m always exhausted and this stress is piling up again cause i need to do things and i CANT and i need to buy i really can’t which makes me feel like shit and worse and it’s a circular system.

especially when i haven’t been able to fall asleep normally until it’s past 2 am or something at the earliest, which just leaves me even more tired. on friday i was sick for my second day at the job and once i called it in i proceeded to then sleep, after my night sleepof like 12-7:30 am, from 9am to 11 fucking 30 pm, then was up for a couple hours before sleeping until 5 pm on saturday. this isn’t sustainable and it’s terrible and because of that i struggle even more when i need to try to work towards the financial issues but I CANT and i’m almost crying at work right now ranting this out because i have to get some words out and try to articulate what i feel.

the. another smaller thing but it still weighs on me is i’m like the only person wearing a mask at my work and yeah it’s it and cubicles and shit but covid still is going strong and people don’t seem to give a damn

i used to be able to do things i applied for and worked in two great internships in college why now am i having a meltdown over an objectively easier job that pays less well maybe that’s a part of it but god fucking dammit am i so stressed and, i don’t know, fucking out of it all the time in ways that don’t help me fix the problem at all.

oh another thing that isn’t fun is i was enjoying being nonbinary with my friends and all but i’m terrified to idk be that publiclally so once more i’m cosplaying my worksona except i flinch every time i see my dead name all around me and people call me by it so like why do i do this for a job that will barely make me rent and will bore me out of my mind? oh wait it’s cause i literally was unable to get any other position and i even almost got scammed in this process by someone who posed as a hr hiring person and put me through a written interview and all that jazz and got me hyped up before eventually i concluded with help it was a scam. applying for jobs fucking sucks but i guess i need to do it again between trying to make money outside of work and also at work which i’m not sure i’ll be able to juggle everything in addition to trying to get enough sleep and at least some time for me to decompress (but i’ve been needing more and more of that recently to work out and it’s related to previously stated issues) so i’m just losing it.

ido honestly believe i’ve been making strides in regards to my mental health and identity but es problema es capital as they say but i’m having such issues of motivation and getting things done that it’s a huge problem and my apartment is too much rent because i couldn’t move out when i lost my roommate because i definitely wasn’t capable of it and that roommate taught me i will literally die if i live with basically anyone that isn’t a very small specific group but because of that i’m stuck with an apartment with no food, a broken dishwasher that i’m too scared to call the landlord to fix, double rent and such.

like i knew i had some issues but my cascade of emotions once i saw the ticket on my break that id been forced to take i guess shows me that i’m really not doing well with the massive stress just hanging over my head

well i guess that’s all the words i have now. if you read all that i’m impressed and sorry i guess, but maybe i’ll find a way to dig myself out of this hole. maybe

[boondockerblog]

Day 51 (Cabeza Prieta)

Desire deeper involvement with society and culture to some degree; it is a basic component of their motivation to travel.

What a day! New paths, and lots of them so I have Cairns at every turn. At one point I saw below me a colorfully dressed mountain biker. I usually don't see anyone when I'm far away from the 2 roads. We had a great convo - she lives in Ajo and works at the bank and started Bike Ajo (FB to get more bikes to come here for the trails) and gave me the map that they made.

Wow - so many paths (and they only marked ones that would be big fun for mountain bikers, so this map shows half or less) - looking forward to going on some of the ones we've never been to. We also talked about the electric outage issue (see Day 49) - there's only one line that comes here and it's from Gila Bend so if it goes out that's it. Remember we're talking a town of 200 so they're unlikely to get any more. So interesting to talk to a business person.

I followed the path the way she said would loop me around Locomotive Rock and after a lot of miles that I could see were going further and further away I finally just left the path picking around the cactus for 30 minutes toward the Rock and then back onto a path.

Then, yards from the motorhome, I met people from British Columbia and had another great convo about running and hiking.

By the time I got back it was super late for breakfast, and Bill thought we were going into Ajo to our wonderful coffee play anyway. So we did.

We were sitting outside at the coffee shop talking about the glass box office saying this must have been a movie theater. Later when taking our cups inside we asked and the woman said yes until about the 1970s (like almost everything else in Ajo). She asked if we wanted to see it. Of course!!!

Where the freestanding chairs are, and 20 mir rows back you could see in the floor the marks from rows of seats that had been removed (likely to put up the walls that became the seating area for the sandwich shop - what she told us it was before the coffee shop - what we didn't take a picture of are all the booths piled up from another restaurant). She also told us that the other box office window a couple doors down had been a performance hall). We of course matched right down there to see if we could get in and it is now the office of the ISDA and behind their office is the stage and a large hall still used today for meetings, bar mitzvah, quinceañeras, etc. Hearing all the ISDA does for the community - added to what the wonderful woman at the coffee shop told us, we love Ajo even more than all the other years.

What we learned today about the currently small population of Ajo was just how much is going on here - something we'd never have suspected given how few of the commercial buildings (except the Plaza) are open. Such a sense of community. Met a woman walking her dog who said she came to visit Ajo and fell in love with it so moved here from Boston.

Love this sign painted into a building.

We walked past the little Visitors Center and who did we see but the people from BC I'd met in the morning.  They had said they were going to ride into to town but such a surprise for them to be on the plaza when we were. We continued our conversation and learned about their brewery/distillery business and healthcare in Canada including how it works when you're in the US. They need to add on to the number of days they'd be covered in the US, which means a phone call with a long health interview of both of them. There's no cell service in town for us unless we use Wi-Fi calling and their phone doesn't work for calls period so they used ours. So interesting to learn all this. Just a delightful conversation.

[alienwolflady]

The Pinned Post!

Hello, all. You can call me Lex (he/him). I am well over 21. This is an indie sideblog for a werewolf muse with whom I have been tinkering. Hope you like her! Below you can find some guidelines and a bio! Oh, and this is a sideblog so I cannot follow back.

Other blogs: main. multifandom. moms.

Hi! You can call me Lex, if you like. I just like the name. Pleasure to meet you!! I hope you enjoy your time here.

Please be 21 or over to interact with me. No exceptions. I’m pretty chill with the block button, but a lie gets you an instant one. Tends toward the graphic. Appropriate topics will be tagged. Ageless blogs will also be blocked.

As I said, this is a SB. Follow-backs, likes, etc are coming from my personal. You’re obviously not required to follow it back but please don’t block it.

I love shipping. Louise is pansexual.

This blog is fandomless and can fit into any verse! Please don’t hesitate to throw anyone and anything at Louise. I am not mutuals only. I prefer to not write against animated FCs.

This blog is not chronologically-locked. I love jumping around in her timeline. Threads set in Louise’s past will be tagged “flashback time” while threads set in AUs are tagged similarly.

I’m very busy IRL with family life and job responsibilities until the summer, so please be patient with me. I extend the same courtesy to you.

We abide here by the Golden Rule. I expect the same courtesy in return. We’re all adults here; please be kind and respectful.

The best way to interact with me is memes or responding to opens. No matter how old. I really love writing.

Please keep in mind that Louise “passes” for human almost every day, with the notable exception of full moons. She is not the sort to simply tell people “hey, I’m from another planet”. Unless your muse is also an alien or supernatural creature, no one is going to know she’s anything other than human.

Have fun!

———

Louise Victoria Collins came screaming into the world on February 27th, 1981, in Saint Augustine, Florida. She was born at 4:14 in the morning and weighed a healthy 8 pounds 2 ounces. Her family moved to Seattle, Washington, before she turned two; here she attended school until graduating high school in May 1999. Louise dropped out of college after one semester; she joined the military instead, as part of the National Guard. During this time, she met a man and fell in love. Sadly, the relationship would not last; relocations put a strain on things.

On her 21st birthday, Louise became privy to a dark family secret: they were descendants of a powerful werewolf bloodline from another galaxy, having fled to Terra following a bloody and brutal uprising. She first transformed on the first full moon of her 22nd year. It was a harrowing evening for all involved. Over time, however, she learned to control the shifting. This species is called the Stelvæth, or Stels for short.

After seven years with the National Guard, Louise was ready to go back to school. A degree in cellular biology soon followed. She graduated with honors and moved back home to Seattle. By the time she turned 30, several things came into perspective for Louise: she wanted a comfortable life, with a family of her own one day. With parthenogenesis a possibility for her species, she gave birth to twins (a girl, Emma, and a boy, William) following a 56-week gestation period. They were born on March 1st, 2012, at 8:21 and 8:56 PM, respectively.

When the twins were four, Louise decided it was time to retire from the military. Her true passion, writing, had called to her for years but she could never find the time to really work on it. Nowadays, she has one novel published and is working on the manuscript for a second. Her current 9-5 is at a laboratory, using her degree.