#existential rant

[anghraine]

It's interesting (if often frustrating) to see the renewed Orc Discourse after the last few episodes of ROP. I've seen arguments that orcs have to be personifications of evil rather than people as such or else the ethics of our heroes' approach to them becomes much more fraught. Tolkien's work, as written, seems an odd choice to me for not wrangling with difficult questions, and of course, more diehard fans are going to immediately bring up Shagrat and Gorbag.

If you haven't read LOTR recently, Shagrat and Gorbag are two orcs who briefly have a conversation about how they're being screwed over by Sauron but have no other real options, about their opinions of mistakes that have been made, that they think Sauron himself has made one, but it's not safe to discuss because Sauron has spies in their own ranks. They reminisce about better times when they had more freedom and fantasize about a future when they can go elsewhere and set up a small-scale banditry operation rather than being involved in this huge-scale war. Eventually, however, they end up turning on each other.

Basically any time that someone brings up the "humanity" of this conversation, someone else will point out that they're still bad people. They're not at all guilty about what they're part of. They just resent the dangers to themselves, the pressure from above, failures of competence, the surveillance they're under, and their lack of realistic alternative options. The dream of another life mentioned in the conversation is still one of preying on innocent people, just on a much smaller and more immediate scale, etc.

I think this misses the reason it keeps getting brought up, though. The point is not that Shagrat and Gorbag are good people. The point is that they are people.

There's something very normal and recognizable about their resentment of their superiors, their fears of reprisal and betrayal that ultimately are realized, their dislike of this kind of industrial war machine that erases their individual work and contributions, the tinge of wistfulness in their hope of escape into a different kind of life. Their dialect is deliberately "common"—and there's a lot more to say about that and the fact that it's another commoner, Sam, who outwits them—but one of the main effects is to make them sound familiar and ordinary. And it's interesting that one of the points they specifically raise is that they're not going to get better treatment from "the good guys" so they can't defect, either.

This is self-interested, yes, but it's not the self-interest of some mystical being or spirit or whatnot, but of people.

Tolkien's later remarks tend to back this up. He said that female orcs do exist, but are rarely seen in the story because the characters only interact with the all-male warrior class of orcs. Whatever female orcs "do," it isn't going to war. Maybe they do a lot of the agricultural work that is apparently happening in distant parts of Mordor, maybe they are chiefly responsible for young orcs, maybe both and/or something else, we don't know. But we know they're out there and we know that they reproduce sexually and we know that they're not part of the orcish warrior class.

Regardless of all the problems with this, the idea that orcs have a gender-restricted warrior class at all and we're just not seeing any of their other classes because of where the story is set doesn't sound like automatons of evil. It sounds like an actual culture of people that we only see along the fringes.

And this whole matter of "but if they're people, we have to think about ethics, so they can't be people" is a weird circular argument that cannot account for what's in LOTR or for much of what Tolkien said afterwards. Yes, he struggled with The Problem of Orcs and how to reconcile it with his world building and his ethical system, but "maybe they're not people" is ultimately not a workable solution as far as LOTR goes and can't even account for much of the later evolution of his ideas, including explicit statements in his letters.

And in the end, the real response that comes to mind to that circular argument is "maybe you should think about ethics more."

[lizhly-writes]

hi, i'm here to cross-examine liushen for a couple minutes. i'm SURE i can write a compelling liushen fic if i tried. it's not like shen qingqiu and liu qingge are uninteresting, so this should work. i should totally be able to do this.

first thought is perhaps a roleswap of some kind...? maybe if you switch the transmigrator roles between them? but i'm leery getting rid of shen yuan's transmigrator role, because that's a pretty big part of what makes him shen yuan... (though this does lead to a possibly interesting liujiu case where shen jiu is the transmigrator also and maybe they both want to kill lbh?)

wait! WAIT! what if we kill shen qingqiu.

liu qingge kills shen qingqiu during his qi deviation. shen qingqiu manages to save liu qingge and snap him out of it, but at the cost of his own life. liu qingge wakes up perfectly sane and with a body at his feet in lingxi caves. he is wracked with horror and guilt. he might not have particularly liked sqq, but that didn't mean he wanted the guy dead. after the demon invasion thing, he confesses to shen qingqiu's death, and everyone's like 1) well you were out of your mind 2) he probably tried killing you first 3) we didn't like him that much anyway, it is finnnne. yue qingyuan pardons lqg. yue qingyuan, by the way, is having a terrible fucking time right now, but pshaww we don't care about him.

anyway. liu qingge. he's having a shitty shit shit time too. he goes to sleep and has terrible nightmares -- memories of what really happened in the lingxi caves, of sqq trying to help him, of killing sqq over and over and over --

someone shakes him awake.

liu qingge startles and instantly draws his sword, because hey, bai zhan war god, it ain't the best idea to startle the guy if you want to stay alive.

of course this isn't really a consideration if you're already dead.

liu qingge wakes up to shen qingqiu's slightly-transparent face looking down at him.

that's right. this is a story in which liu qingge drags around shen qingqiu's ghost!

[wintermav]

Poolverine out of context…either they have a pain kink or they just like getting tied up…or both? Let’s do both.

[a-silly-poll-side-blog-yay]

Mod doing mentally bad

[geminiwritten]

my brain is mud and i think the only thing that could fix it is lewis pullman???

also i need copilot to FUCK OFF

and sorry in advance for my next fic, it’s gonna suck but i’m powering through cause sometimes… the brain just don’t brain how it should

[imrisah]

-

[burgirrrr-rants]

Never make the mistake of rereading old conversations with your ex or anyone you are no longer in contact with. It makes you doubt everything, including your sanity.

[cuppatealover]

[blookitty]

Hot Take: Clair Obscur E33 Endings Aren't Enough

BIG spoilers for Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 here as I need to rant and get things about this game off of my chest. Read below the line at your own risk

With that out of the way, I'll go ahead and say it.

Neither Maelle's nor Verso's ending is good enough.

Before people comment and go off that "I don't get the whole message of the game" and "there isn’t supposed to be a 'happily ever after because real life grief doesn't work that way", I do truly get what the game is going for. Believe me. I understand why Verso's ending is the good ending from the perspective of wanting what's best for Alicia and the rest of the Dessendre family.

But that's just it. It's what's best for the Dessendre family. But what isn't talked about or well realized, I feel, is that this isn't JUST about the Dessendre family. I've played games like Nier: Automata and Nier: Replicant where the ideas of 'what is life' and 'what does it mean to BE alive' are explored. We spend dozens of hours - hell, a whole TWO ACTS - with these beings, these people, this WORLD of living, sentient things, be it humans or nevrons, that have thir own lives, their own feelings, their own memories. We're shown throughout most of the story that they want the chance to live, to EXIST! Yet for the betterment of the Dessendre family, these people who play god and create lives, this whole world and all the living things in it just have to DIE?!

I understand that it's best for Aline and Alicia to leave the canvas, and for painted Verso and what's left of real Verso's soul to be put to rest, but I feel like SURELY there can be SOME middle ground here. That Renoir can SAY the canvas has been destroyed, but put it somewhere until his family has well and truly moved on, to be revealed at a later date that it still exists, just so the whole world that was given sentience and life doesn't have to pay the price for the "gods" who created them.

Also, how are we, at the drop of a hat, to let go of these beings JUST because they're "not real"? Just because they can't exist in the real world, they don't matter?! Yes, Maelle's ending isn’t a good one either because she basically treats the people in it as puppets she controls, not really letting them live their own lives. But for the only endings to be two total extremes, all hinging on members of the Dessndre family, just seems to be going against MOST of the whole plot of the game! Especially the whole first act!

I understand that Alicia and Aline need to be removed from temptation and not try to live in a fake reality of what they want and not what's actually there. But I'm not upset because of the family not having Verso, or just wanting a 'happy ever after where you can have your cake and eat it too'. It's more that why does a whole world of living things with their own lives and sentience have to hinge on what's best for the family that created them?

Rant over. There better be more story eventually, whether it's DLC or an eventual sequel, because there's so much more to explore here. I'm REALLY hoping for a third ending DLC as Sandfall hinted at already having DLC ideas before the game was even done, so we'll see.

[greenboulder-81]

I finally got around to playing the links awakening remake and it hurt even more than the original. Like seriously that ending broke me.

LA is mental. It has to be close to the most primitive game in the series and it manages to tell a story beyond just “there’s an evil guy who’s evil and is a pig (sometimes)”. Like yeah they do atleast have some nuance in link’s motives from time to time. But this game literally has link question if he should accept the confines of his supposed reality or set himself and the windfish free. Why did a GAMEBOY GAME have to go this hard on existentialism.

Also even beyond that I love this game for other reasons. Like it being the first Zelda game to go out of its way to be absurd. Like the fact you catfish someone with peach’s photo. (I’d say the closest the original games got was the Cucco storm).Or even the rocks feather. First time in the series you can jump and the gameboy some how made such an item smooth and enjoyable to use. This game is so peak, with almost no reason to be.

[enbyaster]

I'm not even going to lie to myself here, the HFJONE soundtrack makes me space out so fucking hard that it feels like I'm dead help

Specifically Donor Live makes me get all existential and just makes me think. I don't do absolutely anything else for hours, legit I barely move😭

I'm so cooked, aren't I

[therabbitof87]

Reason Number C̢̡̲̼̞̤̤̫̫̥̝̓̌̉ͮͩ͑̍ͤͧͧͪ̆͂ͧ̍̃̐̓͠ǫ̵̸̨̰̪͖̱̰̰͈͓͙̻̗̗̙͈͇̘̩̤̗͂̀̆ͪͣ̔ͬ́̅̈́͋͛̀́̎ͤ̿̽͢͝͝͝m̶̪͚̲͙̜̯̮̭̝̙̹̾̓̒͊́͑̃͌̆ͦ̃̈́̒́̇͑͛͒̏͌͒͡p͒̋͟l̴̡̖̹̤̪̝̹̼̲̙͚̻̔̆̎͊̓ͤͮ͒͆ͩ͐ͪ̌́̇͗̿͛ͥ̄̈́̈ͪ̄̆͠͝ȋ̵̵̶̧̢̛͖̟̟̟̼̙̼͈̟́ͭ̎̿ͣ̏ͩͧ̓̽̈ͥͥ̓̚̚͘͘͟͟͢ć̸̴̷̛̛͍̟̺̬̲̩̩̱̂͌ͥ̂̌̾ͬ̄̅̔̀̅̅̑ͤ̑̌͘̕͡͠ͅa̴̛͇̱̟̯͚̜̥͔̮͚̱̮͈̻̭̞͈̰͚̖̖͒ͦͬ͑̓̊̑͐̏̆ͦ̀̈́̊̈̑ͪ̎̂ͩ̕͡t̮̪_̲͕̲̅̊̐̊͑ͤ͋̕ẻ̴̖͇̿̑d̵̶̡̛̘͖̤̜̜͚͙̯̮͇͍̟͎̫̗̑̀̀̇̿ͫ̌ͥ͗̀̈͛ͤͯ̀̈́̍̇̇͘͜͟͝͡͠

There is a part of me that recognizes itself in HABIT. Specifically in the way he is other. Nonhuman.

I’m not saying that I believe that if someone were to sample my DNA and send it off to a lab for analysis that it would come up as something other than human. The body is human. I know that it is. However, I also know that the body isn’t mine. It’s never felt like mine. It’s not a vessel I own or control. It’s not a home. It's a prison. A cage made from flesh. I feel like I lost my sense of self the moment this thing was born.

I have no core beliefs about me, who I am or what I was before I was confined to the body I am in. I have no real solid memories from my life before. I have no sense of home. No comfort. All I have is little fragments. Vague impressions. The innate sense that this is all wrong. The secret knowledge that I am an outsider disguised as an insider. The sense of being trapped where I’m not supposed to be. And I suppose that is why I love him and envy him all at once.

HABIT has the freedom that I don't. He is free to be himself. He can switch bodies whenever it suits him. He has switched bodies countless times before. He switched and switched until he found Evan… his perfect vessel.

Is it wrong that I want that for myself? To be myself? To find a home? But what does that even mean for me? What am I?

[words-before-dawn]

I basically talk to all of my family members the same except for a few. With my mom, I can talk about piss propulsion to the moon. With my brother, I can slutshame Julius Ceaser. Everyone else? “Been getting rly into this show lately :)”

[caiusmarciuscoriolanus]

I’m about three more days of weeks (plural) long inconsistent sleep patterns and one more day of shitty work condition from being this guy. Keep that in mind the next time you try me.

[sunsetschloe]

    they tell me modesty will ensure i don’t get condemned to hell,     but if god denies me entrance to heaven because of the way i dress,     i wouldn’t care.     perhaps then, i’ll be freed from another eternity of worshipping men.     i hope god cries when he hears the words being spat at his youngest daughters;     i hope he regrets creating humanity at all.

[lifeguardgodking]

I don’t give myself enough credit when I’m in these moods like I’m not achieving enough and everything around me is burning down. So here it is

I work full time on an ambulance. Including a 24 hour shift. I love the work but the pay is shit and it’s heavily demanding.

I support myself and have my own apartment in Los Angeles. Money is tight. I do everything I can to enjoy and keep MY space. My dog is a big part of that. Husky and apartment life is a challenge alone and we walk over 4 miles a day.

I graduated with my bachelors degree in Public Health with a 3.7 GPA while working full time. Only 3-5% of former foster children graduate with a bachelor’s or higher. I love the field and excelled with my 15 years experience of public service. (Started working at 15)

Although a Hail Mary, I have a shot to take and score well enough on the MCAT (medical school entrance exam). Although being self taught in physics, organic and biochemistry. I think I can do this. I can achieve a lifelong goal and get into medical school.

The journey has been a bumpy and a chaotic ride, life has not been easy. It has always been an uphill battle with little to no support and just a slight chance of success. Gotta stay in a positive mindset. All this has happened for a reason, all the pain and trauma, trials and test, it’s going to equip me to be brilliant.