#family troubles

[watermelonlovershigh]

Staying at my dad's for the holidays and I'm already regretting it. They knew I was coming for weeks and didn't have the decency to clean the room I'm staying in. There was 2 foot of trash on the floor. The bed was piled high with junk. The lights in the room doesn't even work. Just a small lamp. It makes me so uncomfortable. Then when I try to clean it some they get defensive saying how they were gonna do it. Well obviously not because the day has come where I'm here and it hasn't been done yet. 🙃

[sacrifificial-polylamb]

Vent post

Every year my grandma has an Easter celebration and since last year I have been going with my now partner. This year we have been blessed with two amazing dogs; one is 3 and a half months old and the other is 2 years old. They are both in training/ are service dogs. For the first time in years I was not dreading going to a huge event with my family because I thought I would be able to bring my service dog in training with me. Today I asked my grandma to make sure it was okay for us to bring them ahead of time, and she ultimately said no.

I of course am sad that I’m not able to attend, but this is not where the issues comes in. I texted my mom telling her that I’m concerned that I’m not going to be able to attend future events with the family if this continues. She told me “You are choosing not to [attend]. I know it is not a simple choice, but you do have some control here” and “And you can’t leave them alone for a couple of hours? I didn’t think dogs needed constant oversight once they were settled in their environments . Not only is all of my family going to be attending I also do not know any body who could take care of them; let alone know anyone I would trust with them.

The whole purpose of having a service dog is to help me. Attending the event without them would make it very difficult for my partner and I to be able to attend.

[acebiacebasis]

Just recording the event (from Jan 15 2024) here because I wanted to put it out there somewhere.

I came out to my mom tonight *finally* as bisexual/biromantic. (She already knew I was ace although she doesn't really understand/care what it means)

It did not go well. And for better or worse, this was the first bad coming out experience I've had.

So, yeah, I guess I'm just feeling kind of numb because internally I am both heartbroken and amused at the stereotypes I just experienced a few hours ago:

☑️ Adam and Eve example (though she didn't pull out the "not Adam and Steve")

☑️ Sodom and Gomorrah

☑️ generally "it's in the Bible" and "the New Testament list" and "it's a sin"

☑️ "it makes me sick" and "it's wrong"

☑️ regarding someday meeting a woman romantically and me talking about how I may still not want to go that route because of the whole asexual thing and her answering "you better not"

☑️ "I'm gonna pray you find a sexy straight man"

☑️ "we were afraid of this... Because of all your gay friends" (to which I replied multiple times that that is definitely not how it works)

☑️ said multiple times that she just did not want to talk about it

BUT even with this disastrous revelation (which I honestly thought would go better because we had been BONDING so well on the car ride home from my brother's house and she has had other kids/friends come out to her as specifically bisexual as well as known others who are gay... But I guess it's different when it's actually HER kid), I am thankful that we ended tonight acting like normal. She did not kick me out (since I'm living with her and my dad for a few more months), she did not give me a silent treatment or yell or punish, and she DID tell me she loves me.

I just wish she could show it like I know Jesus actually would.

On that note, I am incredibly thankful for all my queer friends and true allies (and even the friends that think it's a sin but responded kindly and with hugs and no judgment) that have shown me their own versions of support and/or inspiring relationships and faiths over the years. I was able to handle tonight happening because I am finally comfortable with who I am in God's eyes and who I am with the true love of my other friends behind me.

I pray over anyone else who struggles with situations like mine and over my own journey to come, that we aren't overwhelmed by the lies that we are "disgusting" or "wrong" but that we ARE shown endless love even in places or ways or from people that may surprise us. I pray over queer children and adults like me everywhere who may not find peace easily, that somehow it finds them.

I pray in love... Even if my mom prays in ignorance.

[ex1st]

[jasanis-world]

All I want to do is cry!!!

Why are people so selfish.

Why do they only think of themselves.

[thesudrianchronicles]

New character post is on the way! Not a character bio in the normal way. Just a basic summary of the most odd, and one of the most dysfunctional railway familes of the steam age!

22 engines to cover.............Coming hopefully tonight (GMT) or tomorrow.

[summerfrwrks]

shout-out to aunts and uncles and moms and dads that know they aren't their parents' favourite but never once took it out on their siblings that are the favoured ones

shout-out to older cousins that know a lot of the family history and were burdened to keep it a secret because they want their younger cousins to see their elders in this nice image they've been exposed to because someone has to remember them in a good light

shout-out to in-laws with the grace and patience of a saint, and in-laws that take initiative to help, and most importantly the in-laws that stayed strong and kind despite so much wrongs done onto them

[void-between-the-stars]

I wish my house felt nice

My house is nice. There are four of us, and we have enough space. We have an kitchen with an old gas stove, and an oven that works. My bed is soft but not so much that it hurts my back, and my pillows cradle my head gently. It's nice in my room. I have two windows, and soft lighting from a lamp by my bedside. We have a nice TV in the living room, and well worn leather couches.

It still doesn't feel nice. I don't know if it ever did.

When I came back here my parents said how strange it was that I don't seem to sleep very much anymore.

I'm home alone today. I have no work to do, and the chores have been finished. I still don't want to go into the living room to watch TV. I don't want to sit in the kitchen and sip my tea.

The walls, the floorboards, the doorways and cabinet handles and dishes and jars and every crack in every surface are so full of memories screaming at me. Warning me I can't relax. That I'm not grateful enough. That it could be worse. That all that blood on the floor is self inflicted, remember? Something is wrong with me.

"He'd never hit us honey". And he wouldn't. He won't.

I wish it felt as cozy here as it looks. I wish it felt nice.

[the-great-dumpster-fire]

Sometimes you have to let go of hope that someone will get better, especially if they don't want to get better, all you're holding on to it disappointment. It's not my place to wait on someone to be better, to heal, and to stop selfdestruction, It's not my place to stress over it, to get angry over it, or to try to hold them accountable when I know they never will. If they do get better and heal, that's great for them, but it's not my job to be invested. It's not my place to to tell my sister how to live her life and to heal from our shitty childhood, it's not my job to obsesse over whether or not my ex is a good person or is trying to better or not, and I need to stop acting like it is.

[enormous-moose]

By my family's logic any song that mentions God Jesus or any Bible verse is a religious song and if someone is not not a Christian they cannot listen to the song anymore or like the song or profit off the song in anyway ....🙄

While it's hilarious this argument was made it's double funny to see how untrue this entire premise is and now let's have fun!

By genre: country is first up!

[100yearoldcomics]

July 29, 1922 The Five-Fifteen by E.C. Segar

[ID: Sappo sits with his friend Bill on the train. Sappo turns from his paper, concerned, to tell his troubles to a friend. Bill puts one foot on his seat and clasps his hands over his knee, patiently listening while he smokes. /end] Sappo: Bill, I'm in an awful pickle. Uncle Amos came to live with us for a year. We haven't room for him and he gets on our nerves. I'll just simply have to tell him that he can't stay.

[ID: Sappo, also smoking a cigar now, storms angrily across his house into an open curtained doorway. /end] Sappo: I'm good and mad now, so I'll go in and tell him to beat it.

[ID: Sappo listens patiently while Amos leans forward in his armchair and tells him a story. /end] Sappo: Uncle, where did you live before you came here? Amos: Couldn't hardly call it livin', Johnny. Slept in an old leaky shack on my ten acre corn patch - which I still own. 'Twasn't mortgaged, you know.

[ID: He leans back as a shocked Sappo pays rapt attention. /end] Amos: Got tired of livin' like that, so I went to visit my niece. Your cousin. I dunno, things have changed somehow. I didn't seem to be welcome there. The time was when she was mighty glad to have me around. That was when I had money.

[ID: Amos tamps the tobacco down in his pipe as a stunned Sappo lets his cigar fall out of his mouth. /end] Amos: Said I was in the way. Kinda hurt my feelin's, too. May-be she broke a little chunk outta my old heart. Sorta feels like it sometimes, but I reckon it's just her way. Don't suppose she ment it. May-be not.

[ID: Sappo walks back into the other room where Myrtle awaits him, sobbing uncontrollably into a handkerchief. Myrtle is shocked. /end] Sappo: Uncle Amos is going to have a home right here if I have to sleep in the wood-shed. (sniff) (sniff) Myrtle: Well for...!!

[yahoo201027]

Day in Fandom History: July 30 (8 of 8)…

Its Grizz’s backstory with Grizz, being the star of a popular Canadian family television sitcom in the 1980s, begins to feel threatened when the director begins to shake up the show by casting a new member and take all the star power away from the grizzly bear. “Family Troubles” premiered on this day, 4 Years Ago.

[sparkle-sauce]

i will never emotionally recover from my mother giving me cigarettes at 16 to then shame me a week later for smoking her shorts out of an ashtray.

her reasoning for giving me cigarettes was that I was stressed and having panic attacks, so instead of getting the counseling that is very much covered under our particular state insurance, she gave me substance dependency that I am still fighting 6 years later

this woman shamed me for an addiction she gave me. she tried to gaslight me into feeling disgusted with myself after she gave me one of the most addictive substances known to human kind, one of the most deadly. she,instead of correcting her wrongs and helping me, made fun of me.

she wonders why we dont talk. this is one of the many reasons.

[metallic-scaled-scarf]

small vent warning.

Alright. Fine. Family is important, older siblings sometimes need to protect and nurture younger ones when their parents fail. But I don't want to have that responsibility.

I didn't ask for it.

I shouldn't have to suffer through the cruelty of my younger siblings in the name of not hurting their feelings. In the name of not continuing the cycle and traumatizing them.

“Are you gonna tell mom? Now that you got your feelings hurt?”

What about my feelings, though?

What about the stress they cause me— because they've been shielded from my parent's actions and apparently because of that, they have no self-awareness or self-examination.

I don't understand.

I was kind to them, I stopped anything from happening to them, I covered for them if they did something punishable. I broke the rules to make them smile.

“What I do only affects me. I can do what I want, mom doesn't even care anyways, so why do you?”

Why are they unkind to me? Why are they selfish in nature? Why do they not care about responsibility? Why are they so.. so entitled..? So cruel? Why do I not matter to them.

I did something wrong.

Somewhere down the line I did something wrong in raising them. But I don't know what.

I don't know how to do this, I wasn't taught. I just found myself needing to watch over them. Because someone had to, right?

“Why are you always ruining my life?”

I dont want to ruin your life. I promise. Please forgive me.

“I hate you.”

I'm sorry.

[gilded-atlas]

how do I deal with knowing I left him alone? before I left for college, I went to my older brother sobbing, telling him how scared I was to leave our youngest brother alone with our stepdad. and then I left him anyways, and now it's all gone to shit. I was so ready to get out of there, to get as far as possible, that I was fine with abandoning him. and the worst part is knowing that I would do it again. staying there was destroying me, and I'm so much happier here, but sometimes I feel so heavy I can't even move thinking about him alone and scared. he'd call me crying, telling me about what our stepdad said to him, how he insulted him, and I'd do my best to comfort him and reassure him. but how can I possibly make up for making him go through that in the first place? it wasn't that bad when I was still there, I know I served as a mediator of sorts, or maybe that was his own kid. who knows? all I know is that he got so much worse once it was just my little brother. and he's gone now, my mom left him for good this time, but it's because he went to far, and my brother almost got hurt, and I left him there. I was so selfish and he's suffering for it. and even now that he's not in that house anymore, and that man is gone, he still has to deal with being alone, with knowing that I left him. I was so selfish that I didn't even care that I was leaving him alone to deal with the exact thing that pushed me to leave in the first place. I couldn't stay there. but he didn't have a choice. and maybe things wouldn't have gone so bad if I had just sucked it up. he's my little brother, and he's supposed to be my responsibility, and I'm supposed to protect him. and I didn't.

[keepcrawlingforward]

I hate coming from a mentally ill family, because I'll forever loathe and hate them for making my life so much harder than it has to be. Actually they never really let me live a proper life at all. However since it literally runs the family, I'm actually the exact same and it hurts to live with. I try to think of myself as better since I at least try to improve but even if that was true, that's not really how that works...