#fear factor eclipse

[crabsnpersimmons]

"Do your best today! I'll be waiting here when you get home, starlight~💕"

had two busy days of work outside of my cave and the only thing that kept me going was the sight of my housewife/househusband Eclipse waiting for me at home

that is, the sketch of him waiting for me to finish drawing him 😂

starring @starriegalaxy's Eclipse from her Fear Factor AU/House Husband AU

[amarynthian-chronicles]

Moth to a Flame, Maiden to a Jester

(Happy birthday Starrie!!!!!!! Here is some whimsical cuteness for you to enjoy, sending you all the best wishes and love! You are absolutely amazing and I am so grateful to have you as a friend!! @starriegalaxy )

Eventhough there were still several days left until Halloween, the Plex was adorned with all sorts of ornaments for the upcoming celebration.

Grinning jack-o-lanterns glowing in every nook and cranny, all of them bearing a suspicious resemblance to Moon himself. Beautiful pumpkins were placed near hay stacks in spare corners of each location, crimson leaves decorating the walls, all to mimic the glory of Autumn.

The light effects were magnificent, galaxies and moons on each ceiling, not unlike the beauty you could find in the Daycare area. The Glamrocks has been given plenty of costumes to choose from and they were set to perform in them all up to Halloween night. Monty had even been given the liberty to indulge more into playing variations of gothic rock.

Candy was given to children, along with all sorts of other treats such as pumpkin pie, chocolate cupcakes with delicious orange-flavoured buttercream, pizza slices with toppings sliced to form little scary faces. It was all very adorable.

You, on the other hand, had made an attempt to preserve some semblance of professionalism. You had patrols and paperwork to deal with. Even in the eve of the day of your birth.

However, it seems that the celestial Daycare Attendants, also known as the resident menaces to local society, begged to differ, and they had decided to make your shift filled with whimsy and shenanigans.

The other animatronics seemed to be slightly distracted when you had attempted to talk with them or get an evening report. Freddy did his best to remain as kind and wholesome as ever, but you could tell he was hiding a little secret.

Chica was chirping about all sorts of topics and very obviously trying to distract you. Bonnie and Roxanne had comically pushed Monty into the nearest ballpit as he was about to mention a secret he was supposed to keep quiet about. You had a vague idea of what the whole fuss may be about, but you had decided not to inquire further into it.

Currently, you were passing by the Daycare, confused to see that there was a little note on the gates indicating that you should make your way to the theatre area instead. To your great surprise, there was also a beautifully wrapped-up package waiting next to the gates as well.

Curious, you picked it up, finding another note, the elegant handwriting simply saying "wear this". You blinked.

"Ridiculous, I do not have time for this."

Still, having a soft spot for the silly jesters, you had decided to humour them, carrying the package to your little office station to inspect its contents. Words could not express your reaction as you opened the box, revealing a regal dress, delicate pink silk combined with ethereal blue tulle material, miniature crystal stars adorning the fabric.

You must have been in a daze as you were carefully placing the dress on, too shocked to even question how absurd the whole situation was. It was only after you had fully adjusted the garment that you also noticed the fabric in the back made an effect as if you had star-speckled wings. You resembled a celestial fairy.

You were too busy blushing to even question how on earth those sly jesters had gotten all of your measurements correctly, since it was more than obvious that the dress was custom-made for you.

Now, now, do not lose yourself in the magic, remember the professionalism you wanted to uphold. You will pay the boys a short visit at the theatre and then continue with your work.

This plan of yours was once again placed to the test as you encountered an entire little pathway of roses and golden lanterns strewn in the corridor that led to the theater area. The lanterns cast various patterns of stars all across the walls. It was all marvellous to behold, and you leaned forward to gently pick up one of the roses, smiling as you noticed that it had a velvet ribbon tied to the stem.

"Silly, silly."

You entered the theatre, noticing that Sun was meticulously practicing for a show he had been previously asked to do for the children later that week on Halloween night.

His eyes glowed as he noticed you, pupils flashing a manic silver. His perpetual grin seemed to widen, sun rays spinning joyfully. Your cheeks burned as you noticed the intense yearning that graced his features, as if you were his deity.

"Starlight dearest, maiden mine, do join your humble jester, darling divine! The entire Fae court would envy your beauty tonight, I see you found one of our many gifts!"

"What is all this, Sun? "

"A little birdie had informed me that today is the day of your birth. You dared to hide this from us, silly, silly! Not a single secret shall remain uncovered, there is no escape from our affections."

You raised your eyebrow at him. Still, you accepted his hand as he helped you climb up on the stage.

"Birdie, yeah, right. You hacked into the systems and checked my birth date, didn't you?"

"Perchance. Vanessa makes such predictable passwords. Always something about rabbits."

You smirked, unwilling to let him think he had the upper hand.

"We all have our preferred animals, sunflower. I like kittens, she likes rabbits, and we are all bad at remembering complex passwords."

"Speaking of which, the council of my brothers and Yours Truly had decided that we should start associating you with something other than a kitten. Considering how beautifully you fly towards our radiance, we officially proclaim you our celestial moth. Forever enchanted by our light."

You could not help but laugh.

"More like I go into your general direction because my navigation system is broken. Where did you even get this dress from?"

"We made it, my darling moth fairy."

Your eyes widened and you needed a solid second to process what he had just said.

"Wh-wha-?"

"Meticulously sewn and cut, each thread bearing traces of our love, every bit of fabric echoing with whispers of "I love you, I love you, I love you", until pure perfection was created. The wings were especially fun to make, Moon had made them as delicate and beautiful as possible, fit for our nocturnal butterfly. Pink for dusk, blue for the upcoming night, gradients of violet and the stars for where light meets darkness."

"Sun, I honestly have no words, I cannot-"

He pressed a finger to your lips to shush you.

"Relax and enjoy the little show we had prepared for you."

Blinking in shock, you nodded slowly.

Sun made a bow, before suddenly snapping his fingers and the stage lights began to rhythmically flicker, creating an effect of many spotlights being present at once. He danced between light and shadow, seamlessly changing into Moon each time he entered the area of darkness, then returning to Sun once more.

They danced and made such pirouettes that any ballerina would be jealous of, reciting poetry dedicated to the spirits of All Hallows Eve all the while.

One by one, golden and azure lanterns began to turn on and illuminate the auditorium of the theatre, casting images of suns and crescent moons all across the area. It was so ethereal and beautiful, the whole show crafted with such love.

Suddenly, you saw a fleeting glimpse of a phantom plushie in the corner of your eye. You looked to your left, but there was nothing there.

"What the-?"

A few seconds later, several galaxy moth plushies were present on stage behind Sun, only to disappear the moment you blinked. As soon as Moon was present, he pulled you into a waltz, his wicked smile betraying him and you were certain that he knew something about the mysterious plushie invasion. You raised your eyebrow at him and he merely giggled.

"What is the matter, beloved?"

"You couldn't resist pranking me now, hm?

"I have no idea what you speak of, starlight."

His eyes were glowing with adoration and desire. The pace of the dance had become slow and almost hypnotic, lulling you and making you rest in his arms. His claws ran through your hair, playing with your tresses, and you squeaked as he began to whisper sweet nothings to your ear.

"How fortunate of a spider am I, to have such a pretty moth come to my glowing web. I shall keep you captive forever."

You were about to give a sassy remark, but he changed the pace of the dance and dipped you like a true villainous gentleman, stealing a kiss. To his surprise, you wrapped your arms firmly around him, deepening the sweet kiss, showing your own passion and power that could rival his own.

Moon was more than overjoyed, and he lifted you back up, never breaking the kiss, but gently spinning the both of you as the stage lights interchanged once more, creating a beautiful transformation cycle as you were kissing now Sun, then Moon, then Sun, and Moon all over again, celestial infinity.

At a certain point, as if reaching a heavenly zenith, the magnificent Eclipse came forth, as if an ancient king had awakened from his dominion. An additional pair of hands were now holding you in his powerful embrace. Lover, guardian, companion, he offered his entire being to you.

Breathless, you finally broke the kiss, gently placing your hands on either side of his faceplate.

"You three...certainly know how to make an impression."

"You had graced us with your presence upon this earth and it is only logical that we would wish to celebrate this day the way you deserve, precious maiden. We have the whole night planned out."

"What about my patrol and duties?"

"Everyone has already been informed, dear soulmate. In fact, they are all here."

"What?"

The lights went on as you heard the merry cheers of all of your animatronic friends and staff bots appearing, everyone carrying platters with cakes, food, and, of course, lots and lots of galaxy moth plushies and other gifts for you.

"SURPRISE, Y/N! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

You almost had tears in your eyes as you felt warmth in your chest, seeing all the loving and familial gazes of your dear found family. Freddy, Chica, Roxy, Bonnie, Monty, the happy faces of Gregory and Cassie, all the staff bots and the chef bot, all of them gathering to celebrate your existence. Even Vanessa, cranky as she was, was standing there and holding a moth plushie for you, as well.

You smiled, your heart at peace and mind at rest, knowing you were surrounded by those that loved you most.

You were a moth and you had chosen your true home, the one with the warmest light.

[enviedear]

YOU SHOULD LET ME RIDE SHOTGUN

₊ ⊹ JASON TODD

🧸ྀི in which JASON TODD shares in your dilemma of keeping this security arrangement professional. lines tend to blur so easily though.

CW | bodyguard!jason & socialite!reader, sarcastic pet names, jason is so bad with feelings, but he's so good at upkeeping professionalism, baby-angst, and the fact this is probably getting a part two. 1.9k words. 🎧ྀི

your bodyguard unnerves you. not for his stature or his brooding presence—but for the way he stares at you. blue-green eyes always steady and with an unflinching watch. JASON TODD is certainly unlike any paid security you've had before.

sometimes, you dared to meet his gaze and match it for as long as you could ward off discomfort. you never lasted too long. his gaze had an uncanny ability to go right through you, picking you apart entirely. despite only engaging in polite conversation on rare occasions, the pair of you didn't truly speak—yet somehow you still felt he knew you wholly. just by the look in his eyes. that, was the unnerving factor.

he never inspired fear in your mind, just persistent questions. questions about who he really is? where the hell he came from? and why he seems to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders?

you sneak in as much interrogation as he allows, which is much more than you would have first believed. you know a good deal about him now: he's an excellent cook, especially when you're nursing a hangover. the white streaks in his inky dark locks are naturally occurrent, somehow. he knows a lot about the bat, frequently muttering invocations of "idiotic" and “too easy” whenever the local news covers the hero. most importantly, you learned just how deceptively shy the big brute truly is.

the observation had you doubting yourself at first, because, how on earth could a man with a mere presence of imposition ever feel timid? but it was a truth undeniable—the way he studied the exits instead of your face after you'd start up your saccharine interrogations. how his legs bounced up and down in the car, fingers mindlessly twirling. the way his voice wavered before responding to your questions, lashes fluttering as he contemplates response. yes, deceptively shy.

tonight, he's been no different. save for the expensive suit you offered him, he looks the same. shadowed in the corner of the ballroom, eyes scanning the crowd over and again, pale pink lips curled into a restful sneer—unwelcoming and formidable.

but not for you. you make your way over to him, equalling tired of your fellow socialite peers and undeniably intrigued by your bodyguard's uninterested expression. when he spots you, sooner than you expected, you're still halfway across the room from him. when his head upturns and signals for the exit, you find yourself nodding.

he waits for you just outside, in the hallway—figure eclipsed in dim shades. the faint hum of the ballroom drifts through the open door, but it’s distant now, muted by the heavy walls of the estate. he doesn't say a word when you step beside him, just a brief glance. his eyes flick to yours before they return to scanning the area, ever watchful.

you’re not entirely sure why you followed him. you could have stayed, should have stayed—rubbed elbows with your peers to keep up your pristine reputation.

maybe it was the growing restlessness in the crowd, the way their empty smiles and shallow conversations felt suffocating. or perhaps it was the fact that jason, even standing in the corner in total silence, felt more natural than any of the people in that room.

he adjusts the collar of his suit, a clear sign of dicomfort, and it gives you a small jolt of satisfaction. no one else sees this—the subtle tells, his awkwardness beneath all that mystery.

“you didn’t have to wear the suit, you know." you murmur, folding your arms. “i said it was optional.”

his eyes flick to you again, and this time he holds your gaze for a beat longer than usual. “it’s fine,” he replies, the stiffness in his voice softened by the quiet space. “figured it’d help me blend in more.”

to that, you let out a rather uncouth chuckle, "you call that blending in?"

he stares at you, barely a hint of humor dancing upon his stoic face, "yes. i was unbothered all night, kept up the appearance, and had you safe the entire time. but sure, honey—feel free to give me some tips." the sentiment is used mockingly, but not demeaning. a thin line you've learned jason enjoys towing.

"still have to get me home in one piece, hotshot. let's not get ahead of ourselves." your quip is less hard-hitting, of course, he'll get you home safe—he's jason. he's never let you down before. no, somehow he excels where all the others faltered.

he tsks, falling back into silence as you walk towards the partition outside to wait for the car. you tilt your head, studying his profile. there’s that distance again—that subtle retreat whenever things get too close. it doesn't annoy you but you do find yourself running lines for something, anything, to get him talking again.

the air is tepid, barely even a breeze in the night air, but your nerves provide goosebumps along your exposed arms. you naively pray jason doesn't notice in the darkness.

jason's posture is tense, his broad shoulders squared, and he’s staring straight ahead at nothing in particular, his mind likely working through some invisible checklist of exit points and threats. the usual.

you want to, but you can’t ignore the way his presence affects you, how much calmer you feel standing beside him, even in silence. it’s a strange dynamic—and one you haven't entirely deduced.

the quiet lingers, stretching longer than you expect it to. with anyone else, it might be gauche, but with jason, it's genuine. his presence doesn’t demand to be filled, doesn’t prod for conversation. there’s a kind of comfort in the stillness, and yet, you can’t help the urge to fill it anyway.

“you always do that.” you murmur, just loud enough for him to hear, motioning to his form.

his eyes flick to you, a single brow raised. “do what?”

“go quiet when it’s just us.” you shrug, feeling the weight of his gaze settle over you like a heavy shroud. “not that i mind. i just…wonder what you’re thinking about.”

jason doesn’t respond right away. instead, he shifts his weight, the muscles in his jaw tensing as if he’s biting back whatever words on the tip of his tongue. it’s a familiar look—you’ve seen it before when you ask too much, pry too far. you’re used to him brushing you off, deflecting with a gruff remark or a half-hearted excuse.

but tonight feels different. maybe it’s the suit, the fact it may have thrown him off his game, or something else entirely. but he seems less rigid.

“i think about a lot of things.” he says eventually, voice low and a little unpolished around the edges. something undiscernible cracking through.

it’s not much, but it’s something. enough to keep you pushing, just a little. “like what?”

he lets out a breath, slow and deliberate, before turning to face you fully. for a moment, his eyes search yours, and you can’t quite read what he’s looking for. but there's a vehemence there, as always. that same gaze that unnerved you from the start, the one that seems to strip away every veneer you wear, leaving you exposed in ways you can’t fully understand.

finally, he speaks, "like how long you're plannin' on keeping me around."

you blink, caught off guard. “well i'm not planning on firing you. unless you want to quit?”

jason's expression doesn't change immediately, but there's a subtle shift in the air, like he’s bracing for something, eerily prepared for impact. he gazes down at you, eyes sharp yet somehow gentler than before, his usual forbearing walls giving way to the faintest glimpse of openness.

he shakes his head, his voice quiet, almost too low for you to catch. “it's not about me quitting.” his hands clench and unclench at his sides, as if grappling with the right words. “just…wondering how long you think you’ll need me.”

there’s something suppressed beneath the surface of his question, something that feels much heavier than the simple contractual relationship you two have. it throws you.

you were expecting a sarcastic comeback, maybe even for him to opt to brush-off the inquiry, but this? it’s not like jason to expose any hint of doubt, let alone ask a question that sounds as if he’s questioning his own value.

you meet his gaze head-on, this time holding it longer than usual, trying to figure him out the same way he seems to do to you. but jason, for all his candor in the last few seconds, remains a closed book. his eyes give away nothing but that steady, unnerving intensity that always makes you feel like he's seeing every single part of you.

“i don’t think that’s really up to me,” you say, a little softer than you intended. “you’re not just here because i need protection, jason.”

his brow furrows at that, a question clearly dancing on the edge of his lips, but he stays silent, waiting for you to explain.

you shift on your heels, suddenly aware of how exposed you feel under that stare of his. it's the same feeling from earlier in the night, when you found yourself drawn away from the crowd and towards him. that pull between you both, implicit and still so absolute. he never asked for it, and neither did you, but here it is. and for some reason, you feel the urge to name it, to make it clear.

"you’re not just some hired muscle to me," you continue, keeping your voice low. "i mean… you’re good at your job, don’t get me wrong. but it’s more than that." you fight the urge to add an imperative, 'right?'.

jason’s eyes darken, his stance shifting, but he says nothing, just watching you. the tension between you both thickens, and the night air feels suddenly chilled.

you swallow, your heart picking up pace. “i trust you,” you start, because it feels important—like he needs to hear it. “more than i trust anyone else around me. and maybe i shouldn’t, but… here we are."

his gaze softens, just barely, but it's enough to let you know your words have hit home. he’s still tense, still holding something back, but the way his shoulders ease slightly and the slight shift in his posture tells you that he’s heard you. really heard you.

"trust, huh?" jason hums, almost like he’s testing the word out. he doesn’t say anything else, but there’s a glimmer in his eyes, something close to appreciation, even if he won’t admit it.

you nod, not trusting yourself to say more. the silence stretches between you again, this time it feels less heavy, still unsure and uncomfortable—but your heart feels lighter, less weighed down.

after a moment, jason turns his head toward the street, eyes scanning for your ride. “car’s here.” he says, his voice back to its usual low grumble, but there’s something different in his tone, something gentler.

you follow his gaze, but your thoughts are still on him, on the way his presence has become more than just protective. it’s grounding. familiar. safe. strangely so.

as the car pulls up, jason steps aside, opening the door for you without a word. but just before you slide inside, you catch his eyes again—those blue-green chasms that seem to hold more than he ever lets on. you decide promptly that one day you'll tell him how pretty they are, one day.

"thank you, i'll see you tomorrow. bright and early." your voice is barely a whisper, as you step into the car. for once, he doesn’t brush off your remark with a snarky comment.

he just nods, watching as you disappear into the back seat, that same steady, unreadable gaze following you until the door shuts between you both. the car pulls away, but your mind remains fixed on the man sworn to be your protector. unnerving.

[panlight]

re: your post about having to drink blood and ONLY BLOOD forever and Bella not factoring much in her decision to become a vampire

i think that's where the horror of being a vampire lies: the monotony. sure you live forever, but how good is it if you can't *really* "live" out eternity to the fullest? you can never taste new food, and time will come you'll forget what your favorite food ever tasted like. Centuries pass and you'll just be drinking blood. All your peers and loved ones will move forward in time and you're still there, never experiencing any of the milestones they got to reach.

And that goes especially for the more "traditional" vampires with their classic weaknesses. You'll spend eternity never seeing the sun again, either because you'll burn or your compelled to sleep once the sun rises, so it's never-ending night for you. You'll go through centuries never being able to see your reflection/pictures or just see *for yourself* what you look like, and you'll only have to rely on secondhand sources.

The problem is that as tragic as Edward and Rosalie paint it out to be, and as much as they bring up VERY true points on the horror of it, it just falls on deaf ears becus Bella is no matter what deadset on becoming a vampire. I know some of the fandom excuse/defend this writing choice as Bella "proving" the narration or her opposition wrong, or even citing Smeyer's piss poor explanation somewhere how "it's not that humanity is bad, it's that humanity was the ""wrong choice"" for Bella" (ummm...interesting??). It's just frustrating how there are times in the book where it feels like Bella only see's herself as valid or has any worth only WHEN she's a vampire; ex: her wanting to be a vampire so she can be strong and beautiful and worthy of Edward's love, and even AFTER she become's a vampire there are many times where she looks down on her humanity, saying things like "limiting weakness of humanity taken off her eyes" when she see's Edward post-transformation, saying she has no more "dull human needs", referring to the animals cowering in fear as "them having a wiser reaction to their scent compared to humans" and im just??? Yknow, Edward had a point when he said Bella acts like she's been a vampire for years instead of hours lol.

It would be nice if Bella at least had more moments of doubt in her plan to be a vampire. The closest we got was that moment in Eclipse where she realized graduation was looming closer and she got a bit of a panic about it, but other than that all else was either quickly glossed over or not given much thought. Yeah she cried about the tourists dying in New Moon, but instead we just read her getting upset at herself becus her tears are preventing her from seeing Edwards face (girl there are PEOPLE DYING!!) and she's not given much time to dwell on the potential horror of it. (LITERALLY the next couple chapters after she immediately puts her humanity to a vote)

I know she's stubborn, but I really feel like there are better ways to write stubborn characters than just.....that.

It often feels like a bit of a have your cake and eat it too situation, not so much for Bella, but for SM. She wants the brooding, tortured vampire (Edward) but she also wants the power fantasy and happily ever after (Bella), so we get this jumbled sort of narrative where being a vampire is hard and painful and lonely until it's not. Sucking the venom out of Bella in Twilight only makes sense if vampirism is a bad thing; leaving in New Moon only makes sense if vampirism is a bad thing. The agonized back and forth deal-making in Eclipse and reluctant acceptance on Edward's part only makes sense if vampirism is a bad thing.

If vampirism is a good thing, or even a neutral thing, then yeah I get why readers are annoyed that characters keep putting up roadblocks when Bella says this is what she wants. But as I was reading it, I accepted it WAS a bad thing that Edward and the Cullens were making the best of, but not something they would wish on anyone who had another option. If you accept that vampirism is a bad thing, and a thing that, as a human, Bella cannot possibly understand, then it feels less like paternalistic "we know best" or "you don't know what you want," and more like, "please believe us, the price of not killing humans is eternal pain and starvation, no one wants this." That . . . seems reasonable to me? SM, again, made the comparison in some Q&A that if your friend wanted to join a cult, or sacrifice themselves to a golden statue of some ancient god, or jump off a building . . . you'd stop them. It's not about "supporting their choices!!!" it's protecting them from harm. Edward and Jacob's actions make the most sense when becoming a vampire is a genuine harm.

But then Bella becomes a vampire and it's bliss, this is where she belongs, she was right all along!! It's sexy and compelling when Edward is brooding and tortured, but it wouldn't be for Bella, this is her triumph! I mean I guess you can read it as Bella lying to herself; she's only been a vampire for a few months, it's possible the shine will wear off and what she thought was a temporary newborn thirst thing will end up being Starving All The Time and Eternal Sore Throat and Only Blood, Forever. But that's obviously not the sense you get from reading it and pretty obviously not SM's intention.

And yeah Bella's narration in BD constantly putting down humanity was pretty off-putting to me. Especially because, again, I had read all the supplemental stuff on the Lexicon and there's a part where SM talks about how most vampires see humans weak and stupid, or like cattle or whatever, and even the Cullens struggle at times to not fall into that mindset. She says Carlisle is the best at seeing humans as people, followed by ROSALIE. But then Bella's a vampire for five minutes and already talking about how weak and useless humanity is. Part of it seems to be about her self-esteem, I guess? Like her humanity was limiting, specifically? But it still gives off vampire supremacy which theoretically Carlisle's whole experiment is supposed to be trying to overcome. Why is she so good at not eating people if she's so firmly Yay Vampirism? Carlisle and Rosalie are good at it because they're Nay Vampirism.

[quirkyfries]

do you think it would be possible for Afton to modify the virus and tweak it's acceleration somehow? Assuming the one year duration is true and no other factors slowed it. Also the virus could've mutated or something. We don't know much on the virus and how it works.

Yeah Ruin is gonna have an even worse time if what I'm expecting happens happens

Tbh. It doesn’t matter if it’s accelerated or not I think. It’s the psychological impact of it that’s going to matter with Ruin.

Ruin’s still going to have the fear of being a carrier. He’ll fear becoming truly infected. He’ll fear spreading it to his friends once they come for him: he may consider himself a danger and refuse help, especially with the thoughts he was left with (that he could’ve saved his Monty if he’d faced his fear of returning to his dimension to find his friends) that may damage his resolve/esteem/confidence the longer it takes for them to retrieve him.

He may even consider himself better off dead if it really gets to him; the whole reason he was a-okay with dying right after he completed his goal was because he had nothing else to live for, he just wanted to return to his Monty (in death) who is now not dead. And now actively rejecting and wishing Ruin pain and kidnapping him and etc etc. You have to imagine how much that hurt Ruin, and how time and fear will worsen that into something a little more permanent despite Ruin’s acting.

BUT they do kind of need Ruin to be somewhat lucid if they ever want to cure it in decent time, he literally mentions having the antivirus in his systems. If it does spread to others, Ruin is the only one with an antivirus on hand, and it’d cost Eclipse valuable time to make one from scratch. Losing Ruin here is a double blow to Eclipse’s faction in that regard—he’s also the other most capable mind present. Which is why he’s priority No.1 to Eclipse. Despite not liking him, Ruin is an important asset now more than ever.

[amarynthian-chronicles]

Yes, Starrie's fic is amazing and I definitely recommend you reading it, it has so much sassy Sun goodness and Moon being a total silly gremlin, and Eclipse is such a sweetie!!!

in regards to the post where you said we could share our AUs - (hope you don't mind me rambling 👉🏻👈🏻)

Hurms... the most well thought out / written one rn is Fear Factor!

So Fear Factor is all about facing your fears whether it be trust issues, being openly neurodivergent, anxiety etc etc (it's a very experimental fic in which we navigate various things that are usually belittled or at least in my experience 🥹 and uh it's very dear to me as of rn)

So far, the premise was that Y/N is a person who's fear was at its base a fear of mascots, extended to animatronics cuz they're kinda the same-ish but like one is metal and the other has fur / is more of a costume.

Then, it widens its scopes and more fears are unlocked HAHA - AH but Y/N's not alone this time. She eventually has friends and people she can depend on (even tho it wouldn't be Fazbear's™ without a touch of ominous things going on in the bg...)

So new things, old things. Everything mish-mashed together. So many things to discover and rediscover.

But with people who actually care. Who wanna be there for Y/N. It's so new. Getting attached never boded well before... Will it be different this time?

Although Y/N is usually in turmoil in this fic, the Daycare Attendants also have their fair share of things they'd rather keep to themselves / work out themselves even tho they've never really gotten thru it cuz they're super busy all the time. Even the main glamrocks aren't safe from this. So ya. Very much a self-indulgent and comforting fic.

Someone mentioned it was a fic where they wanted to hug everyone and I mean good cuz that was the aim 😂

Okok see you ///

what. WHAT. starrie. STAR. I ADORE THIS AU? JUST FROM THIS ALONE?? oh my god. i think... i think i need? i need to absorb fear factor au content? i need it like water ??

i did not know i needed this au until now. i mean i didn't know it existed until now but this is such a cool ass au! cuz like... IM ALL FOR SELF INDULGENT AND COMFORTING IM MAKING GRABBY HANDS!!

thank you for sharing starrie i need to check out this au NOW!!

[elminx]

Energy Update: Mercury Rx March-April 2025

Starting on March 15, Mercury enters its first retrograde of 2025. The retrograde runs from 09° Aries to 26° Pisces and makes thrice-repeating conjunctions to Neptune and the North Node and sextiles with Pluto in Aquarius. This is a unique retrograde as it will happen entirely within the retrograde cycle of Venus, both in time and by degree. This retrograde also coincides closely with our eclipse season, which runs from 3/14 to 3/29.

The Basics

Mercury, the planet of communication, technology, and travel, is the fastest-moving planet in our solar system and retrogrades three to four times every year. This means that Mercury’s retrograde cycle is “business as usual” and isn’t something that should be feared. However, it is a change in the energy signature of one of our personal planets, so it’s worth paying attention and making adjustments where necessary.

Retrogrades don’t mean that the planet ACTUALLY is moving backward, of course. It is a shift in our perception of the planetary movement through our skies. In this way, our perspectives and perceptions can get slightly twisted during these times, and it is easy to miss key details or communicate ineffectively.

During Mercury’s retrograde, Mercury traces its path backward in our skies, and it is considered better to go over your work rather than start something new. Mercury passes over these degrees in the sky thrice: the first time during its pre-retrograde shadow, the second time while it moves backward during its retrograde, and again a third time while it moves forward in its post-retrograde shadow. Because of this, we all get the cosmic opportunity to relearn and refocus on certain things that are going awry in our lives.

By comparing the degrees of Mercury’s retrograde to your birth chart, you can understand how Mercury’s retrograde cycle might affect you.

Mercury retrogrades affect some people more than others. By order of significance, these people are most likely to be affected by a Mercury retrograde:

If you have Sun, Moon, or Ascendant in Gemini and Virgo, or Mercury closely conjunct (within 2°) to your Sun, Moon, or Ascendant

If your natal Mercury was in retrograde or out of bounds

If the current retrograde crosses over your Sun, Moon, or Ascendant (in conjunction) or makes a square or opposition

If the current retrograde crosses over your Mercury, Venus, or Mars or makes a square or opposition with them

If the current retrograde makes a trine with one of your personal planets or a sextile to your Sun, Moon, or Ascendant

If you work in a job that involves technology, communication, or travel or are currently undergoing a task that involves one of these domains during this retrograde cycle

If you live with, are in a relationship with, or closely work with a person who meets the above criteria

One can assume that the more of these factors in play, the stronger you may experience the effects of a Mercury retrograde cycle. This isn’t to say that what you experience will be bad or wrong – some people experience a lot of freedom from Mercury’s journey. The more open you are to giving up control and staying open to the ever-changing landscape of a Mercury cycle, the easier it will be.

The Nitty Gritty

Mercury will retrograde from 09° Aries on 3/15 to 26° Pisces on 4/7, a reflection of Venus's ongoing retrograde from 10° Aries on 3/1 to 24° Pisces on 4/12. Notably, Aries is sign #1 in the horoscope wheel and is concerned, to some degree, with new beginnings and pressing onward into the future. At the same time, Pisces is sign #12 and concerned with processing all of the input that came before it to reach completion. Typically, in prograde (forward) motion, the planets all move from Pisces into Aries; this is the demarcation of the start of the astrological year and the point of our Spring Equinox. Instead, Mercury (and Venus) will traverse from Aries back into Pisces in the opposite direction.

I have written about how this point - between 29° Pisces and 00° Aries - is THE pressure point of the year. Not only will Mercury and Venus cross over it three times each during their retrograde cycles, but the Sun passes over it this month, and both Saturn and Neptune will also cross over it this spring before retrograding later in the year and passing over it again in backward motion. Combined with the constant movement of the Moon, this point is traversed 25 times this year. This is a big deal and a significant magical opportunity, which I have discussed in more detail here.

That said, this double personal planet retrograde is the meat of this long-term transit, and we should all be paying close attention to what is coming up during this time. With two personal planets involved in this double transit, this is, by definition, personal. It will show up in many people's lives - if not through Mercury, then through Venus. In a world that has been rapidly changing, each of us likely has something that we need to go back and redo.

This doesn't have to be a bad thing, though it may be triggering to perfectionists and others who are unable to take criticism or admit to their own shortcomings. The big flex right now is to admit mistakes early and often and actively work to fix them.

That's it.

I mean, it sounds so simple. But it becomes much more difficult if you are the only one willing to admit mistakes or attempt to make amends. The pitfall of this double personal planet retrograde is that people will most definitely not be at their best (Venus retrograde) and also be unwilling to talk about it (Mercury retrograde).

I wish I had a brilliant solution or an easy out for those who can see this coming, but there just isn't one. Personal planet retrogrades tend to be hard, and two at once will be exponentially more difficult for many people. Even if that's not you, you will likely have to deal with the aftermath of other people's frustrations over these planetary conditions.

Both Mercury and Venus will pass over Aries and Pisces. Venus is exalted in Pisces and exiled in Aries. Mercury is both in its fall and exiled in Pisces and neutral in Aries. Here, we can see that Venus will have an easier time in Pisces and Mercury while they are in Aries. Said a different way, the Venus retrograde will start more challenging and likely ease with time, whereas the Mercury retrograde will become more complex as it evolves.

Standard Mercury retrograde advice applies: Mercury's main domains are Communication, Technology, and Travel, so if you need to do anything in those three realms, you should expect some delays. Apply that literally and metaphorically as needed in your own life. This can be somewhat remediated by working directly with Mercury, but only to a certain point. Social media tends to go down during Mercury's retrograde cycle - often more than once. Save often and proofread thrice before you hit "Send" on any important communications during this time.

There are a lot of people who advise against travel during Mercury's retrograde periods, but I prefer it. Things often take longer, but the long way around seems to bring me to precisely where I need to be.

I don't want to demonize Mercury retrogrades here. I love Mercury's retrograde cycles and look forward to them every year. You tend to recognize the pitfalls and setbacks if you enter them with a negative expectation. Still, if you enter them with a more open mindset, you are more likely to identify the opportunities that arise.

This is the cosmic right time to work with any of the many res: rewrite, rework, reinvent, renegotiate, redo, retry, renovate, reconsider...

The list goes on.

Mercury's retrograde is undoubtedly not the time to start something new. It is the time to review what has gone before and make the necessary adjustments so that it works better.

We all need that, whether we are willing to admit it or not.

The Details

3/1 - Mercury stations retrograde 26° Pisces, Venus retrogrades 10° Aries 3/2 - Mercury conjunct Neptune 28° Pisces, Mercury conjunct North Node 28° Pisces 3/3 - Mercury enters Aries 3/5 - Mercury in Aries sextile Pluto in Aquarius 3/11 - Mercury conjunct retrograde Venus 08° Aries 3/14 - Total lunar eclipse 23° Virgo 3/15 - Mercury retrogrades 09° Aries 3/20 - Sun enters Aries, Spring Solstice 3/23 - Sun conjunct retrograde Venus 02° Aries 3/24 - Sun conjunct retrograde Mercury 04° Aries 3/25 - retrograde Mercury sextile Pluto in Aquarius 3/27 - Retrograde Venus enters Aries 3/29 - Solar eclipse 09° Aries, retrograde Mercury enters Pisces 3/30 - Neptune enters Aries 4/7 - Mercury stations direct 26° Pisces 4/16 - Mercury enters Aries 4/17 - Mercury conjunct Neptune 00° Aries 4/20 - Mercury in Aries sextile Pluto in Aquarius 4/26 - Mercury exits its post-retrograde shadow

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[the-violet-galaxy]

Sun in my Killswap AU! A Swap AU that explores the canon TSAMS storyline if Sun had the Killcode instead of Moon.  

The Killcode behaves a little differently, so here’s a rundown:

Most of the time, Sun was perfectly safe to be around. The Killcode only took effect in response to certain triggers happening to Sun: the primary trigger, and the emotional heart of this AU, is a response to him being mistreated or abused -- by anyone, but especially by Moon. The Killcode would trigger when Sun reached a certain threshold of negative feelings like anger, helplessness, or pain (which Moon dealt out in spades when he was stuck without his own body.) It didn’t happen every time; Sun had to be pushed far before it would take effect. But when he was pushed to a limit, that’s when the Killcode kicked in. In this AU, it is a symbol for “taking revenge against those who have hurt you,” which is a mentality Sun desperately fights against, fighting against stooping to that level or continuing the cycle, but the Killcode is like a switch that flips and his personality changes. He fears his own negative emotions because of this, even after seemingly getting rid of the code.

Sun does not want to be a violent or vengeful person, and does not want to hurt or kill anyone, but he feels negative emotions just like anyone else – and the Killcode reacts to those emotions. A truly unfair situation.

(The Killcode’s second primary trigger is when someone breaks the rules too much, which is “disrupting order” – Sun's dedication to the rules, cleaning up messes, and organization taken to the extreme, and also Creator's secret intention for making Sun this way.)

Sun sometimes got stuck in this Killcode-influenced state, and would only turn back to normal when the lights shut off and Moon came out, which was like flipping the switch back on Sun’s personality and he would come back to himself.

When Sun and Moon decided to separate, Sun wanted to get rid of his Killcode and snuck it through the transfer process into Moon’s new body. And thus Eclipse manifested inside Moon… That fragment of Sun, trapped and tormented inside the chaotic mind of the one who had abused him.

And that’s the foundation for Killswap Sun! From that familiar starting point with the three main leads (the twins and Eclipse), things branch out and there are a lot of new things:

How Moon’s abuse of Sun gets dealt with differently in this AU, how it factors into MOON’S overall arc too;

Sun’s relationship with Eclipse, where HE’S the one who inadvertently created him; Sun feels guilty over realizing he abandoned Eclipse to a miserable situation, but then, he also hates him when he becomes their primary villain;

When Solar is implanted by Eclipse into Sun’s head, and how Sun interacts with this new person who is in the same position Moon was ages ago.

How Sun reacts when the Sun-variant Killcode regenerates and evolves to gain sentience, and how he deals with this.

Sun learns Eclipse had created TWO MORE MURDEROUS AIS inside of Moon that Sun can blame himself over: Blacksun, the Burn Twins.

I’m having fun with this AU and would love to start writing or drawing it out.

[longing4yesterday]

give me mcharrison thoughts ☕

ohhhhhh man. i could honestly go on FOREVER about those two.

WARNING; i ramble on forever below the cut, so be warned!!

truthfully, i think their dynamic is just as interesting as mclennon's. however, it's a bit under-explored by the greater fandom and i'm a bit sad about that personally. they were childhood friends that met with a mutual interest in music, connected and decided to learn guitar chords together!! they did typical kid things like getting up to pranks and hanging out at each other's houses. then john came into their lives and everything shifted, both for the better and worse. those two had each other's attention for ages until the formation of the beatles kinda started splitting it between different responsibilities and relationships. but, at this core, george had always loved paul. yet, as they grew older, that bitterness for being shoved out grew more to the forefront and he struggled with it heavily. of course, there's other aspects too i'm not saying that being pushed to the side in terms of importance was the ONLY thing that bothered george at that time, but it is a factor. then it all cracked when the band fell apart in 1969/70. he refused to speak to or see paul, aligning himself with other members like ringo or john, only finally seeming to somewhat amend and remain cordial when they worked together on anthology and john's tapes up until his death in 2001.

there was a push and pull with those two. of course, i'm speculating and i truly don't know if george ever really had queer feelings for anyone, let alone any member of the beatles, so don't mind me as i put on my tinfoil hat for a second. i read george's feelings toward paul as less of an older sibling-figure kind of friendship and more of a one sided affection. he probably figured that paul had his eye on john from the moment they all met, so he kept his own feelings to himself (that + the way society viewed queerness in that time is the perfect recipe for remaining in the closet with a quiet yearning harbored in your heart). things like the impulsive trip to paris early on probably tipped him off initially and it spiraled from there. was george jealous of the gravitational pull john held over paul? maybe! i don't know! his admiration of john in the beginning did die down in later years as he grew to know him and his patterns of behavior better. yet, he kept his mouth shut about liking paul, his best friend, and took a begrudging step back to let those two have their time in the spotlight. though, if he had it his way he'd have swooped up paul faster, kept a tighter grip on him. even when he was older and more detached from everyone, there's still a little part of him that's a little boy, yearning for his friend to love him like he always wanted. i've never seen get back but i think of that scene where george's watching john and paul mirroring each other, playing to each other face to face, and he looks like he's about to cry. it's upsetting and it breaks my soul every time i see it.

george loved paul, even when tensions were high. they created a tight bond with one another during their youth and never really shook the connection. i know i said this before but i'll reiterate it again; they hated each other, they loved each other, they wanted to kill each other, they obsessed over their opinions over each other. it was an obsessive spiral that harmed rather than nurtured. and that's all george wanted, to love paul without being corrected or judged. to hold his attention for just one minute without the fear it'll be snatched up by john again. yet, he never got that. paul did not reciprocate, his affection for george was that of a little brother. which couldn't have felt good.

they're so tragic GOD. i love writing about them so much and i kinda hate that mclennon eclipses them. we need more mcharrison enjoyers out there making art!! pleaseeeeee

anyways, here's some little things i wanna write someday about these two/ideas i like in general to lighten the mood a little bit;

it's been reported that if you ended up sleeping next to george you'd wake up tangled in his limbs. so i thought it was a cute idea that whenever george and paul would have sleepovers paul would wake up to a tiny little george cuddling him. instead of shoving him off, he lets him sleep in longer cause he thinks it's cute

an alternate ending to "sweetly tender is the flesh" where instead of john and paul running off to fuck, it's george and paul instead (much to john's anger and jealousy)

anything that happened in hamburg. i do not believe for a SECOND nothing queer happened over there. i already wrote a tidbit about that but like---i wanna explore it more tbh

older george and paul reconciling after john's passing :( i need it for my soul

paul being possessive of george………that is all

the tenerife vacation lives in my head rent free. i know i also wrote a tidbit about that buuuuuuuut. less angsty mcharrison fling in tenerife cause i ALSO don't believe nothing queer happened on that trip

KEY WEST. see other points above. or like---when they're all drunk telling each other they love one another, george internalizes it and almost admits that it's more than platonic but holds his tongue because he sees how much paul is clinging to john.

and i think that's all i got for now! hopefully that all made sense ^^;

send me a topic + ☕️ emoji and i'll share my honest opinion

[crabsnpersimmons]

tomorrow is @starriegalaxy's birthday! so join me in absolutely obliterating Starrie with Eclipse art!! /affectionate

also check out her birthday magma and leave her a surprise!

[starheirxero]

NEXUS AND MOON FINALLY MET!! :D And Ruin is being the cryptic freak he is/affectionate <3

I wanted to point out something really interesting to me-

The last two days of episodes mention a few rather interesting things! Specifically character motivations!

Though subtle, there are lines that tell us a lot about the characters' thought processes, and it really jumped out to me!

In "Lunar gets kicked out", Moon mentions why he wants Lunar to live with them. He feels responsible for them.

Though it seems obvious once you think about it, it tells us not just a lot about Moon and his relationship to Lunar, but Lunar's relationship with Nexus as well.

Moon has a guilty conscience, often thinking of himself as the cause of the problem. This has been a problem for a long time, even prior to his death.

Though he's been incredibly casual, his actions still lay heavy on him, though he has trouble expressing it.

Lunar came from his head. This is where his code developed.

Moon naturally feels responsible for them! Another factor of this could also be his knowledge of being stuck in someone's head.

Its also interesting to note, that Lunar didn't correct or reassure him, instead being upset at the wording! This could mean, that Lunar does feel hurt and left behind, which makes sense!

After all, they died, and when they came back, their big brother was just…gone, sacrificing himself for someone who, in Lunar's eyes, caused much more harm than good.

It actually tells us a lot about their relationship with Nexus as well!!

Nexus knows, where Lunar comes from, and feels the same level of responsibility. He likely felt guilty about Moon's departure as well!

I'm not sure when this happened, but I know Nexus once said, Moon wouldn't have cared about Lunar's death.

This was, of course, his own resentment speaking, but it explains his protectiveness, which was turned up a notch when it came to Lunar!

He's trying to make it up to them.

Lunar's point of view is a whole cane of worms itself- It's been something I've been thinking about for a long time, though I never found the right words for it!

They obviously love Nexus, that much is clear. But they seemed rather avoident of him. It's much different from their relationship with Earth and Sun.

Lunar is a selfish person. They try not to be, and try their best to be empathetic, something they tend to struggle with.

Despite this though, this part of them sometimes peeks through. That's not a bad thing, of course, it makes their character human, and honestly really fun!

Point is, this especially happens around Nexus.

A good example being the Dazzle episodes with those two.

Lunar is a lot more demanding towards him in them, and their little moments of the "sibling dynamic", seem rather tense, much different from the joking atmosphere they usually have around their other siblings. Nexus seems genuinely hurt by Lunar's lack of interest, not even bothering with a simple thank you.

And honesty? It makes sense.

Lunar's perspective on the situation is honestly so fascinating to me!

The tension started, when Eclipse came back.

However, even though they were angry at being babied, something that makes a lot more sense now with Nexus' guilt involved, that wasn't what set them off.

Instead, it started going down hill once Nexus made a deal with Eclipse, and thought of letting him live.

Because Moon had seen everything.

He has seen the dents marking his own metal, inflicted upon him by Eclipse to hurt Lunar.

He knows about Lunar's fear and discomfort, when it comes to Sun's glow feature.

He heared Lunar's thoughts, his doubts, once mentioning, that Lunar can't exactly hide things from him.

Hell, it's been established, that Lunar could see Moon's memories, so theres a likelyhood of the reverse being possible as well.

Moon even brought them to Solar's dimension, for the sake of closure, knowing their time with Eclipse was still eating them up inside.

He should know the pain inflicted on them. Yet he doesn't, because this isn't Moon.

This is Nexus. A replacement. A new person, wearing their brother's face and pretending to be him.

This isn't their older brother anymore. This isn't the guy, who they ran to, when they couldn't take the abuse anymore.

This isn't the person, that took them in. This isn't the brother, that gave them a home. He's not the one, that tried to encourage their interests, or scolded Sun when he accidentally made them cry.

No, this brother is long gone, sacrificing himself for a killcode who hasn't brought anything but misery.

Because Lunar doesn't know about KC's change of heart, or his regret.

In Lunar's eyes, Killcode is nothing but the monster, that caused psychological warfare to his brother, and forced them out of Moon's head.

Of course, there's going to be resentment towards Moon.

"Why would you leave me behind, and at the mercy of my personal demon, for someone who caused us harm?"

And naturally, this resentment would fall upon Nexus as well.

But it only really started to rear its ugly head, when he spared Eclipse.

Because this is the painful moment, that truly paints Nexus a different person.

A replacement, a stranger in a loved ones body.

A reminder of what they lost.

And they know, they are in the wrong.

They know the moment, that they acknowledge Eclipse's death, caused by their own hands, was a mistake.

But they are selfish. They are selfish, and they cannot help but put themself first. They cannot help, but put their own feelings first.

Holy shit, I did not expect to write a whole paragraph-

I needed to get this out of my system though- Lunar is like an insect to me, affectionately! I need to study them under a microscope-

That being said, this also plays into Nexus' development!

In "Moon and Nexus meet", Nexus says some pretty interesting things, mentioning, that Dark Sun is the only one who enjoys what he makes, the only one, who let's him do what he wants to.

This tells us, that Nexus truly did feel like a replacement for Moon.

He felt like he needed to be someone else, pretend to be something he's not.

He needed to be Lunar and Sun's lost brother. He needed to be Earth's reliable, big brother, when, technically, he existed last.

There were too many expectations on him, both from the people around him, and also himself. He likely built up a lot of resentment as well, and now he's letting it all flow out. A bit of this resentment could be heared, when Lunar did not give him that single thank you.

There's definitely more in play here, but I think, this has been eating him up for a long time, long before Solar died. However, Solar's death made him realize, that he can't be Moon, no matter, how hard he tries.

Nexus never truly had an identity of his own, instead being pushed into someone else's.

And of course, there's Eclipse. It always comes around to him, it seems-

I think, the last two MGAFS episodes give us quite the insight into his moral code.

And interestingly enough, it's incredibly similar to Ruin's!

If it's for the greater good, it doesn't matter, who gets hurt.

It doesn't matter, if FC is in pain and relives a traumatic experience, as long as the havoc wrecking ghost gets destroyed.

It doesn't matter, if Puppet has to die, if it means, keeping the multiverse alive.

It doesn't matter, who I hurt, because the star can do anything, and I will create an utopia.

It's such an interesting, morally grey point of view!!

-Stardust

YEYAYEYSYWYESYES!!!!!!!!! I GET EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN ACTUALLY I'VE BEEN PICKING UP ON THAT TOO

AND YOUR WHOLE RAMBLE ABOUT LUNAR N MOON N NEXUS YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T HAVE PRODUCTION ADDITIONS I'M JUST NODDING SO FURIOUSLY!!!!! I had almost totally forgot about the whole "not even a thank you" with Lunar and Nexus and now that you've reminded me of it, I realize just how long this has been building up for!!!!

It's so many layers of sad to me too because neither of them are necessarily in the wrong. Lunar was mourning where Moon used to stand and Nexus was trying to be someone he literally couldn't be and it just... clashed. No way around it.

And yesyes like u said with Lunar and Moon too!! There's a lotta unaddressed bitterness from the fact Lunar woke up after death and Moon had just up and died to someone Lunar still thought of as a Pretty Shitty Guy!!! And even just unaddressed stuff from before they died, it's just. a lot.

There's so much turmoil between the lunar models and its just awuagahgh it fucks me UP.

And Eclipse's morals yesyesyes!!! They are awfully Ruin-like aren't they?!?!! I wonder if that's something to do with them both being eclipsed models or if it's something with how they were both brought up or if maybe Eclipse's are so Ruin-like now bc that's who made him or whatever yk..... Exactly like u said it's such a fascinating case of grey morality wohoo!!!!! ^_^

[bthump]

Do you think Griffith had agency when deciding to do the eclipse? He was backed into a pretty bad corner

Yes and no, but I don't really think of agency as 'having a free choice between multiple things without any pressure pushing you towards one specific option,' when it comes to discussing fictional characters. I think of agency as part of how a narrative is framed. Does the character make active decisions, or are they passively pushed along by the story and only react to other characters' decisions?

One thing I really like about Griffith's narrative is it feels like he has agency. He's being manipulated, he's been through hell, there's clearly only one option genuinely available to him based on everything we know about his circumstances and his character and his goals and his priorities and his fears and his desires and emotions - but that's why it's a great, well-written moment of choice. Because the factors that go into that choice hinge largely on Griffith's personality and internal life.

He's not driven to choose the sacrifice because Void put a gun to his head and said 'become a demon or die.' It's not even really about a choice between 'become a demon or live the rest of your life in powerless misery.' That's part of it from Griffith's perspective, but it's not an objective fact that he's doomed to misery, and it's not his driving motivation, it's more like the final straw.

He's driven to choose the sacrifice because he's spent a lifetime convincing himself that he needs to justify his existence by achieving a dream, and because his love for Guts ruined his life and he wants to cut that love out of himself, and because he's terrified of living a life of being taken care of, and because he's in the middle of a suicidal breakdown and he sees it as an escape.

It would be boring if the reasons he chose the sacrifice didn't come from strong characterization, but rather from plot circumstances. As a fictional character, he has narrative agency here, and I love it. In theory he could've said no, but we know he never would, because we understand Griffith as a person, and we can see how this set of circumstances play on his character and personality to guarantee he'll choose the sacrifice.

That said, on a watsonian, in-universe level, he doesn't have agency lol because fate exists. Almost no one in Berserk has agency, and so far even the characters who could theoretically go against fate haven't yet, as far as I can tell.

And I guess I'll also say that, again on a watsonian level, using a more irl definition of agency, an outside observer could easily argue he has no agency because of the extreme circumstances of the sacrifice. Like, when gods descend from the heavens after you attempt suicide and tell you you can escape your pain and achieve your life's goal after all and all you have to do is sacrifice a bunch of people who already agreed to potentially die for that goal, plus the guy who you blame for ruining your life, well, it's a pretty coercive circumstance.

But yeah on a narrative level I think the scene works as a satisfying climax to the Golden Age arc because the reason Griffith makes the sacrifice isn't 'he felt like his hands were tied' but rather 'his characterization organically led to this choice.'

Thanks for the ask!

[glade-constellation]

You can’t convince me that Eclipse didn’t have cherophobia (fear of happiness/good things happening). Like, he would never let himself be happy. Even when given the chance, he would turn it away. You could say that it was more about him hating everyone than it was him being a cherophobe, but I have to disagree.

Listen, this was a man who ripped out what parts of himself actually were happy to make Lunar. That’s how it’s explained in the show. He took his own happiness, ripped it out, added some coding to help create the AI aspect, and shoved it into Moon. Why would he feel the need to do that if he wasn’t trying to run from his own happiness? There were other means of creating Lunar that didn’t require his own happiness. Why go that route?

And it’s funny to me because he obviously also craves happiness, or some adjacent emotion. He was constantly chasing the one thing he thought would make him happy. And when he got it and found it wasn’t making him happy, he just kept repeating it in a slightly different way in a hopes to get a different result. Did you know Einstein’s definition of insanity was repeating an action in the hopes of having a different outcome? By that definition, Eclipse had gone insane in his pursuit of happiness. Use the star, this time it will make you happy. Didn’t work? Use the star, this time it will make you happy. That was his loop.

In all honesty, I think he knew what would make him truly happy. He knew the star wasn’t the answer, but there were so many factors that played into him rejecting it. His stuck up pride, his fear of being rejected, his fear of the happiness itself and that it wouldn’t last, and the fact that he just couldn’t be happy anymore. He tore that part out of himself. There’s a possibility that he could have recreated that part of himself given that he was torn from learning AI coding, but still. From the information we have, Eclipse no longer even had the ability to be happy. That ability was lost when creating Lunar.

That makes me really sad too, when you think about the implications of Lunar being made from all the happiness Eclipse had. Before Lunar was traumatized, he was happy. He just wanted to play video games and hang out with his brother. Just, think about that for a moment. Think about the implications. Lunar found that these things made him happy. Lunar was also made from Eclipse’s happiness. These were things that would have made Eclipse happy.

Eclipse was such a terribly tragic character and I’m still holding out for a redemption arc we’re never going to get.

[theamityelf]

“ you shoot anyone who comes through that door who isn’t me. ” kamuegi? Kamuegi!

(Alright, less fluffy than last time! XD)

~~~

Their place of refuge only had one entrance.

This was not accidental on Izuru's part, of course. There had been an active choice between the security of a single entrance (the chance of being cornered) and the security of many exits (the chance of being faced with enemies from many directions at once). Either scenario was one he could handle well enough on his own, so of course Makoto was the deciding factor.

It was easier to protect him from unidirectional ambush than from multiple lines of fire.

And anyway, Makoto hated to be surrounded. Specifically, particularly hated to be surrounded, physically, more than he hated to be physically cornered. It was a leftover anxiety from the trials, Izuru believed. As much as Makoto didn't want to see it as such (and perhaps didn't believe he did), each time he had been suspected in the trials had been a moment in which he had been surrounded by enemies. Managing multiple streams of attack to protect himself.

(This fear was a subtle post-traumatic stress symptom, so it hadn't been sanded down as much as his more people-facing ones, like the way his defensiveness would sometimes flare up in casual arguments as if they were of critical importance.)

All this to say, there was one door, and it was now unsafe. The hacked Monokuma which Izuru had been using for perimeter surveillance revealed the hordes closing in. Human hordes.

And he was pressing a handgun into his lover's hands.

"I-I can't-"

"Yes you can," Izuru interrupted, before the unproductive thought could spread its spores. "It's no different from using your hacking gun on Monokumas."

"It is different. These are people. I can't-"

"Yes you can, because you love to be alive, because you love your friends, and you love me. The beings who will be trying to get through this door-" (He was careful not to say "people".) "-want to kill you. You want to be alive."

Makoto's eyes were damp, but the tears weren't falling. They usually didn't. Izuru briskly dabbed his lover's tears away, so that he could see clearly as Izuru redirected his attention to the handgun.

"This is the safety. It's currently on. Now it's off. If you pull the trigger, the gun will fire. The aiming of it is no different from your hacking gun, except that you're no longer going for the eye. Aim for the torso; it's a larger target than any extremities. Shoot anyone who comes through that door who isn’t me." He needed to leave now, but he also needed to be assured that Makoto wouldn't freeze, if it became necessary to fatally wound someone. He brought their faces closer together, eclipsing all else from Makoto's vision. "Think of it this way: However many of them you have to kill in self-defense is nothing compared to how many I will kill if you die." He kissed him, quick and fervently, and then looked him in the eye. Makoto was upset, but he was also focused. Izuru made his exit. "Lock it after me. Every lock. Then stand back." He shut the door.

The hordes were here. He cracked his neck and got to work.

...

The door was off its hinges when he returned. He had known that there was no way to prevent this, with the numbers he'd been facing, but still his pulse ran laps at the sight.

It seemed that not many had made it inside. He only had to step over one body on the way in- alive, shot in the stomach. Encouraging, where the silence wasn't.

"Makoto?" he called.

There were no reactive sounds, but he could hear breathing in the next room.

He rounded the corner.

Three bodies. Two dead, one dying, all in a heap on the floor. The blood pooled beneath them, and just beyond the reach of the pools was Makoto, standing frozen with his gun outstretched, visibly distraught. The sight of Izuru seemed to spur his brain back into action; he processed the arrival first as a threat (Izuru had entered silently.) and then as a relief.

"Please, can you do something for them? Can you help them? I can't-!"

Izuru stepped over the bodies, turning Makoto away from them and drawing him into his arms. Their heartbeats conversed at a patter-pace. "You're alright."

"D-Did I kill them?"

"They just passed out from shock. They'll be fine."

"N-N-No, they...All that blood..."

"They'll be fine," he insisted. "As for us, we have to leave before the next wave arrives."

"But if they die, I killed them. Then I'm the murderer, I-I'm the culprit..."

Izuru once again placed his face close to Makoto's, taking the handgun from him as he did. "You are not in a killing game anymore. There will not be any consequences for this. You're safe, as long as we leave." And with that, he lifted Makoto from his feet, resting his weight mostly against one shoulder while his other hand held his gun at the ready.

"Wait, we can't just leave them there!"

He ignored the squirming and stepped over the bodies again. Casually kicking the one who was still alive, so that he would make a noise (however faint) and prove that he wasn't dead. "You were acting in self-defense. Your guilt is irrational. Don't adopt Enoshima's standards for wrongful killing."

"Everyone...Everyone will hate me..."

"Do you think they haven't had to kill in self-defense?"

"I..." His whole frame shook once, but then he said, "I can walk."

Izuru set him down. They were out the door, now. Those who would have killed them were spread on the ground, twitching impotently. He had mostly shot or broken their spines, killing only when it was most efficient by a significant margin. A carpet of corpses would have bothered Makoto.

"...Would you tell me if they were dead?"

Izuru wished the matter wouldn't weigh so heavily on his lover. Makoto deserved someone who wasn't a liar. But he needed someone who was. "Of course."

They were making quick progress, now that Makoto was cooperating. Soon, they would be somewhere safe again, and Izuru would have time to comfort him, feed him, distract him. Regrettably, Makoto had already had enough time to return to the killing game in his mind, but Izuru would pull him back.

In fact, it was probably more accurate to say that he had been playing by the killing game's rules all along, and this was his first time breaking them. Which meant he just needed time to see that there was no execution coming for him. That Enoshima's judgement no longer held weight, and no one alive would hold this against him. He hadn't lost her game; he had won. He had won a long time ago, and now it was over.

"Look at me," Izuru said, deciding that they'd walked far enough to pause for a minute. "At me," he said again.

Makoto's eyes met his. Slightly wet. Foggy with shame. His face had that remote look that it always acquired when he went through something emotionally overwhelming.

"Thank you, Makoto."

He blinked, confusion interrupting the daze he'd been in. "Thank...?"

"Thank you, for protecting yourself. Thank you for choosing to defend yourself. I was worried you might not."

His eyes became wetter. "It's not...It's nothing to...thank me for."

"But it is. You've never killed needlessly. When the need arose, I'm glad you met the need."

The tears fell. Better than the alternative; he didn't cry enough. "So I did kill them?"

"They were always going to die today. That was the choice they made when they tried to kill you. The choice you made was whether you would die with them, and you decided not to. I'm thankful for that." He brushed his lips gently over Makoto's, then took his hand. "Just a little farther. Then breakfast, alright?"

He exhaled a shaking breath which Izuru took to be affirmative.

He would need a lot of attention, today. A lot of reassurance and affection. And Izuru was more than happy to provide it.

[nico-esoterica]

It’s almost midnight and I feel like talking about LaLisa. Ms. Manobal—Didn’t I call for at least 2 years that she’d make a HUGE gargantuan career move at this time?

With the NN currently separating from (most) of her stellium, all but one, this indicates to me that her recent arrival at RCA records was probably finalized around the time of the solar eclipse on April 8th. This would be due to said eclipse occurring at 19° and formed a neat conjunction to her Mercury at 21°. 19 degrees falls within a Libra degree in Degree Theory, which can symbolize contracts and peaceful agreements (albeit rushed in Aries tbh), and Astrologer Kira Ryberg describes the second face of Aries as not only being highly dignified because of its amplified solar energy but creates a sense of royalty, honor, and the question of worthiness that follows with the 3 of Wands energy associated with this phase.

Before one embarks on their journey, they stare out into the horizon, waiting for the ship to arrive and are filled with a gnawing sense of anxiety amidst their excitement. Will fear or the courage for adventure take hold?

Lisa’s actions tell us that the latter is her decision. Especially since her Mercury, which is associated with writing, speaking, and the mind, was the catalyst. However, seeing as the last full moon and penumbral lunar eclipse occurred on her Sun and Venus, I can also see negotiations happening at that time, which would mean, imo, that the October eclipses on this axis were also relevant to this deal being made. But I alsoooo believe that since so much of her chart is being activated at this time (we haven’t even discussed PLUTO’S SEXTILES), there’s more down the pipeline coming that we don’t see. A lot of the kpop tarot readers have been mentioning that ONE particular member of Blackpink would outshine and out pace the others and my betting horse was always Lisa.

But with so much activating for her, esp with her Saturn Return in Aries on the horizon, I also feel like it should be mentioned that ‘pace’ should be a factor here. Aries, at its worst, even if it’s doing well, can run the risk of burning itself out often with disastrous results if they wait until the last moment. With the next nodal cycle occurring RIGHT on top of her Retrograde Virgo Mars next in Sep later this year and in March the following, we’re going to find out if she’s been learning that this power thrust of sudden momentum can only be sustained through Actual ™ periods of rest and downtime.

Meaning—not still working when you’re supposed to be sleeping and doing nothing. With a Scorpio Moon ruling said Mars and the stellium ruled later by that, she may not believe in the concept of rest or taking it easy. She’s so neurotic and frenetic that it just doesn’t make sense to her because that isn’t the way her body works. At rest, she’s often antsy, hard to pin down, and is most likely doing something ‘productive’ to channel that extra steam into. I can also see her being rather lazy and sleep prone during her down periods in response to it. ‘Lazy’ isn’t a bad word either.

However, this can also mean a more strategic shift in direction where she becomes more mindful of where (and who) she invests her energy into. She’d see herself as The Star ™ instead of a playing piece and would value her self worth and act accordingly. She’d also make more informed choices. With Pluto in Aqua sextiling her points after its official permanent ingress after December, this would amplify the inclination for her to want to be more reserved and discerning in how she conducts business and navigates her stardom. Imo, the South Node conjoining her Retrograde Virgo Mars feels like a growth period after a break out, if that makes sense. Breaking free into the wild and then re-learning yourself as someone who’s liberated opposed to imprisoned. It shifts you from a scarcity mindset of needing to sign everything, do everything, and reaching for the top for the sake of it to being more relaxed and self-assured that you’re doing everything right and don’t need to prove yourself.

It circles back to that creeping 3 of Wands worry of ‘worthiness.’ To project further, what comes next in the arcana series are the 5, 6, and 7 of Wands in Leo, the domicile of the Sun, who’ll occupy the South Node in the eclipse following the one to come. Since the Leo decans surround topics of earning your place, celebrating it, and defending it, Lisa’s next phase will predict how she’ll handle this one since the Sun exalts in Aries.

I think she’ll do exponentially well. However, I see an issue that I’ll bring up in my next piece about her.

[autemtoday]

To Live & Die

As the Night Does.

You held yourself underwater long enough to drown and you'd do it again, in a heartbeat

With no hesitation or doubt. 

You, the total eclipse from which light shines -

 A spirit shadow,

 Outweighing skin and bone

and disgusting flesh.

The fragility of a human's body- how susceptible to disease, malnutrition,

a plethora of exterior factors that ultimately lead to inevitable decay of organ mush. 

The delicate vase you cared very little for, until now, at least.

You eat not since hatred, envy, jealousy, deception, strife, gore and death replace your food as vice and substance along with

War and violence-

Confusion is your religion. 

The adversary within the mind; the greatest enemy, the worst friend. 

You  Who hangs over prey at night like night does over clouds and shimmering stars. 

A dream eater of sorts-

 you remind one of their fears and paint one's night terrors

—a shade, taunting from the corner of one's eyes. 

Sometimes you play the Grim Reaper and lead prey to their demise.

 You, the primordial entity of sin, the very shade of Adam's son. 

Your prey need not bleed in front of you for you are a devourer of spirit, feasting on the wretchedness of souls.

- an appetite surpassing any, a thirst for sorrow, and a hunger for misery.

 One must ask, ''which is better? To be torn open limb for limb or spiritual massacre?" A black, cold being with no vitals, haunting those who provoke. 

You manifest metaphysical crime scenes, wherever you're present. 

What good do you bring, if any, at all?

 Even those perceived as sinister show sympathy for it’s victims. 

What level of wretchedness are you NOT capable of? 

You know no physical barriers, no laws to abide by, no one to bar you from your horrendous deeds. Selfish by nature, and envious by default. What do you know of sight, with no eyes to perceive, mouth to articulate thought, or ears to receive information? 

This much, you do know; chaos

To Live and Die as the Night Does.

 One last breath as your life dies at sunrise.