#feel free to just like. completely disregard that second part if you don't have the brainspace for it btw

[a-dragons-journal]

I have a "type" (not a label user) that I'd like to know more about... it's of a fictional character (as much as it pains to say that), but it's a very Intristic identity, it's less "I found this character and now identity as them", it's definitely more "this part of me has always existed, i just needed to discover it". I've had this for years now. I've tried getting rid of it.

you could say I'm very alike them, but i say they're like Me, not the other way around. I'm not them, they're Me, because the former implies my identity came After discovering them.

I've Always been drawn to scenery, locations, language, clothing etc that's associated with or is the same as this characters source long before discovering them. My ideal appearance and home mirrors this character and their source. If I could wear their cosplay 24/7, I would, and I often do, because it's the most I ever feel like Myself.

I'm not spiritual, hell, i have a fear of that, but because of this almost past life-ish nature of my identity i label it as "quasi-spiritual". But I'd like to know possible mundane or psychological reasons for this. The idea of my identity actually being spiritual all along scares me though.. I don't know what to think. I've got past life readings twice before, different times different people, and they both said the same exact thing! and it kinda aligns with this character...

Maybe it's not that big of a deal and I'm over analyzing again lol. It's in my nature after all. I was hoping an alterhuman blog could help me out with this... Thank you for reading :)

So, I obviously can't answer any of this for you for sure, but I have some thoughts.

First: Truthfully, it's hard for me to come up with a lot of solid purely-mundane explanations for all of this, but I'm sure they're there. My best shot: Past life readings might be similar because they're in some regard based on you, and from a purely mundane perspective, it's possible the readers are picking up on aspects of your current self and extrapolating upon them, which logically might lead them to similar answers. It's possible that your experiences lining up with this character really is just coincidence - if you encounter enough characters in media, odds are that eventually you're going to trip on one that's very similar to yourself - and that doesn't make the label of "fictionkin" any less accurate, because what is that word if not shorthand for "this character/species is very similar to my experiences, so much so that it's easiest to get across my experiences by simply saying I am them despite any small differences they might be" anyway, regardless of the why-explanation that any given individual may attach to that?

That aside, and I realize this part is not answering your question, but I think it may be worth examining in the process of questioning this: Why does the idea of this being something spiritual scare you so much?

To be clear: this is not me saying I think it is, or even that you have to accept it as a possibility or anything. But if you're up for it, then examining that question, assuming you don't already know the answer (because you very well might know and just not have wanted to tell me, which is totally understandable), may give you some insights not just into this, but into a lot of your own rationale for things, which I think is good practice to have a good grasp on. If it is something that ends up making sense to you best through a spiritual lens, why would that be bad for you? ("Because it would contradict my previous beliefs in a big way" is a valid answer here, by the way, just one that then invites more questions, such as "am I letting my biases prevent me from changing my beliefs based on new information, and if so is that also a thing that might be happening with more important things, like political beliefs and whatnot, or is this just genuinely not convincing enough evidence for me?")

Anyway, existential crisis induction aside, other people got further mundane explanations for anon's experiences here?

[meanbossart]

Lore Ask Compilation: "Every Other Question Is About The Drow's Dick" edition

Oh I LOVE Minthara, her dialogue is absolutely fascinating and in my opinion some of the best written In the game. Experiencing her in my Evil Durge playthrough without having been spoiled to her companion scenes prior was great - the amount of depth they managed to add to her, without it at all feeling forced or rushed, and considering how much less time she gets to develop at our side is really well done. While nearly everyone's quests had me immersed, she was one of the few characters who really made me pause and think about the things she had to say to me, what she truly meant by them, and what they meant for me as an avatar doing an evil run.

We have a lot of characters in this game that are meant to be full of wisdom and experience, who are meant to be the ones who say the right thing at the right time that inspires us to make the correct choices, but I don't think either Halsin or Jaheira (and I love Jaheira) made me feel like I knew so little about life quite as Minthara did.

And, of course, she's absolutely hysterical. 10/10 I wish she had a proper companion quest past being rescued but I understand why she doesn't.

[MORE ASKS UNDER THE CUT]

It doesn't connect to the urethra since the slit in on top, so he nuts and pisses normal.

Also you 100% are not sorry, stop lying to me.

Man, I thought a lot about this one because I play so fast and loose with the content the game gives us that I'm positive there must be SOMETHING I'm completely disregarding, but I couldn't think of anything! I've chosen to pick slightly less obvious interpretations to some lines and text but nothing that completely deviates from canon, I don't think. If anyone has noticed something I neglected to mention, feel free to let me know - not because I want to revise it, but just because I'm curious!

For the second part of the question, not really. Larian did a great job of giving us plenty of room to play around in the dark urge's background, I think I'm yet to see something that I find to truly "not fit" in the ample freedom they've given us. I have my preferences, of course - I'm shocked to find that most dark urge's are NOT big hulking beasts, for example - in fact that seems to be the minority by far, but I realize that I have my... Uh... Biases.

You can see a cute little divot through the fabric if you look closely LOL

And nah, I think his penis has seen enough sharp points for a lifetime.

Well.

Unless someone decided to add some bite-marks to it.

HMMM, I... Don't think so.

He didn't cry as a baby, he didn't cry as a child (and this isn't something I just decided on now - this is a major reason why his foster drow mother even kept him around) he didn't really cry growing up or at any point during the campaign. I think he is capable of it - sadness in him just tends to be far more confusing a feeling than anything else.

He will have emotional moments in ANE, whether or not that will culminate in crying is something you will have to wait to find out LOL

Astarion has noticed this and just took it as a character trait - the drow doesn't cry, he just gets confused, angry, frustrated or simply bottles it up. While he can be demanding of his emotional maturity, he isn't going to try and dictate how he should experience his own feelings. If it did happen it would definitely catch him majorly off-guard, perhaps even shift the perception he has of him to a certain extent.

Oh my god you just know they All managed to be utterly quiet about it for as long as humanly (and unhumanly) possible until like, I don't even know, halfway through the Shadow-cursed lands where one day Karlach finally turns back to the group around the campfire after a half-nude drow has strut past and she's like "SO

"DOES ANYONE KNOWS WHY HIS DICK HAS A SNATCH"

And Wyll is like :0... Karlach you can't just ask people that.

And then she pointedly turns to Astarion and starts trying to interrogate him on how it works while Gale covers his ears and Shadowheart is like:

This is gonna blow you guys backwards but he does not do those things in front of people and thinks its rude if you do.

HMMM Mostly physically but it's a little subtle. He really enjoys interacting with Astarion's (and previously Orin's) hands - kissing, holding, caressing. Touching hair and faces as well. He can engage in more overt physical affection but usually Astarion has to be the one to initiate.

A disarmingly earnest proclamation of love and adoration here and there as well - he isn't shy in the slightest to tell people how he feels about them, he just isn't constantly reminding them of it unless inspiration strikes.

Most of all I think he expects his loved-ones to see his care for them in his tendency to go out of his way to help them achieve their goals.

He went with them to the Shadow-cursed lands but I never helped him fix the curse, so he stayed behind when the gang went onwards to the city. DU Drow didn't really like him so it was good-riddance as far as he was concerned.

If he had come along and propositioned him during act 3 - uh, you know the really mean rejection line you have as a choice during that dialogue? Yeah, that one lmao.

Alas, DU drow is just monogamous. He could entertain group-sex with a partner for fun at the most, but not ever a third person in the relationship. And In my personal interpretation (but by all means - everyone else have fun with their poly arrangements!) of Astarion and his delivery of the "this is about Halsin" line, I also thought he was lying about being comfortable with it, so I write him as monogamous as well.

Nothing. Nada. Not a thing. Say what you'd like about Bhaal but he sure knows how sculpt them out of his murder-meat.

(Thank you!!!)

[eluxcastar]

Number 13 and 14 with Arlecchino

Arlecchino being comforted by her s/o

── ୨୧：arlecchino x reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: arlecchino comfort drabbles yesyes

୨୧﹑genre :: sort of fluff

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, possibly ooc because it was written pre fontaine quest, not very proofread, arlecchino is implied to have issues with self-image/perception

୨୧﹑words :: 2.2k

"I could see the worst parts of you and still think you are the most beautiful person I've met." "I'm going to ask you how you are and I would like you to answer me honestly."

IT'S HERE you guys always spoil me 13 is my favourite prompt and you are the first of two to request it. completely unrelated but this is so familiar to what Kae said a few days ago (months now omg 😭) when we were talking about One of Repetition and it fits those two so well 😭❤️

to the anon who requested furina it'll take me a minute to figure out how to write her because I haven't played the archon quest but I'll watch some cutscenes and do my best for you

I'll also be using this because I got it in the middle of writing this and thought it fit the idea I had going super well 🙏 that makes three Arlecchino requests with prompt 13 😭 also second anon you're fine dw you guys are free to do with your requests with these prompts as you like, mix them together, add extra descriptions and rambles it makes it more fun 👍 thank you btw 😭❤ feel free to give yourself a name for future requests if you want ❤️ I love having new anons

prompt list

It is not often that Arlecchino shows her doubt, maintaining that half-pleasant façade to hide it all. If all people see is a ruthless woman with no regard for loyalty, then the details don't matter. There's no need to question, no need to dwell. She is one thing and nothing more, and she much prefers for nobody to notice the hesitancy in her drastic decisions, the thin-veiled regret as she watches the children she witnessed grow up go on to become valiant children of the Tsaritsa.

If there is anything more, it is disregarded as her unpredictability. She is a roach in the eyes of others, and perhaps she's ok with that…mostly.

To hear someone say "I love you" is strange to her, though it shouldn't be by now.

It shouldn't be unusual to wake up tangled in the sheets with you by her side or the struggle it ends up being to leave that mess as you try to convince her to spend five more minutes with you. It shouldn't be odd to discover that you've gone ahead and made her tea in anticipation of the time she will wake up or to have you remind her every morning that you hung her coat up to dry after she dumped it over the back of a chair the night before or to see you wandering around going about your own job.

But those events all feel surreal to her, even though she has watched you walk your patrol path a thousand times now, and she has seen you slack off where she sits by the window of Zapolyarny when you think nobody is looking.

You are very real, there's no doubt about that.

The things you do never click with her, however.

Perhaps you are real, but she made up these fantasies after watching you loiter by that one spot in the garden a little too long.

Yet every evening, you meet her in her office after you're officially let off for the day, and you usually bring snacks. You are most definitely there, then, as she watches you struggle to get through the door without damaging whatever you found for her to try, usually only small, a pastry you managed to get that you absolutely mustn't knock from your hands.

"I tried to get something that wouldn't make a big mess all over your stuff," you usually say, sometimes hacking on a 6guilty little "But~ these just looked so good…" to try and excuse you for bringing something that would cover her desk in crumbs.

Arlecchino doesn't mind because you went to the trouble of getting her something.

She got you a special chair to pull up and everything, and anyone else who uses it can deal with the death glare they get or find a different one.

But perhaps she made that up too, conjuring the image of someone fumbling their way through her office door to greet her with a smile, sometimes with jam on your mouth from taste-testing the gifts that she'll point out to you that you hurriedly wipe on your sleeve and pretend it was never there.

Maybe she put that chair there for nothing, and it never really moves, and each time she thinks this, she is sure this fantasy will all disappear.

However, every evening, without fail, as the sun begins to set out the window and the room is dyed an orange hue, the door opens, and there you are again. Delusions can't possibly be that persistent, and you would've scowled at her when she approached you in the hallways if you weren't aware of this relationship.

So it must be real, which she's well and truly aware of. There must be a person out there who sees what she cannot, someone who, by some miracle, manages to see past the things that block out all of the good. How can a person see anything but someone unworthy of their love?

What else is there to see? 

The idea of a person who deserves to be loved beneath bloodshed has become unthinkable.

For a person who has been exposed to Arlecchino's worst sins, who has seen everything, and whose worst offence in life is a little laziness on the job, how is it possible to look at her and smile?

Arlecchino often wonders as she watches you. She how you go through your routine of placing your things down, whether on the desk or beside them, then all too happily mosey on off to get your chair and drag it over to sit across from her. She doesn't know why it's this particular day that she asks. Perhaps the fact it was weighing on her mind after a recent mission had her list of redeeming qualities shrinking further and further. It is in her job description, and there are plenty of worse people in this world.

But do you deserve to be stuck with one of them?

"Did you ever feel pressured into accepting my feelings for you?" Arlecchino asks the question so suddenly as you're halfway through walking back with your chair that she sees the exact point you register what she said, freezing in place from the shock. "Whether through status or power," she adds.

You blink a few times before all the motion in your world resumes to greet you with the image of her staring you down from the other side of her desk, patient and waiting for your response. "Sorry?" You let the chair go to return alone to her, standing in the place where you always put it. "I don't, uh…follow? I'm sorry, I just— I'm not sure what you mean?"

She hesitates, momentarily glancing down before her age returns to you and your uncharacteristic expression riddled with worry. She must've made you upset again.

"You want to be in this relationship? With me, that is…" Arlecchino struggles to think of the words, saying them as soon as they appear in her mind. "Even though you know the kind of person I am, you still want that?" 

She studies your face as carefully as she can, watching the way you react as you absorb everything you just heard and assumedly try to put a response together in your head. Arlecchino has noticed before how you take longer to speak than her sometimes, but it tends to make everything you say more thought out, though you may end it like you're unsure.

"Well, I mean…if I didn't, wouldn't I just—" you pause for only a second— "break up with you?" There's silence after you finish. She doesn't say or do anything. To Arlecchino, that strangely almost makes sense, but you must be far too bold to admit that to a Harbinger. "It's not that I want to! I'm a little--…well, I think I'm just a little bit confused where that's coming from."

"I was thinking about it." You frown when she admits that. "Some of the things you have seen of me are…" Is there even a word to encompass that? "unbecoming of a lover."

Is that the right way to phrase it?

Again, you pause, and the telltale signs of consideration cross your face. An intense focus that barely lasts, and Arlecchino waits through it all to allow you your chance to answer, intent on allowing you that much. A few seconds more, and your features relax, looking back at Arlecchino with a tender gaze. "There's not really one 'right way', is there?" Your question, though rhetorical, strikes a chord with the many impulsive responses that flood her mind, all of which she keeps to herself. "You just kind of...try your best. Things might work out, or maybe they don't— the point is that you mean well and put in the work."

"That's not enough," she argues, "you deserve better."

"I deserve what I want." Your rebuttal makes sense in theory, but what do you want? She struggles to make sense of that part, the answer muddled by all of her thoughts and lost in her doubts. 

You could ask anything of her, and she would do it. Any material possession, every feeling, more love than you know what to do with in any form you desire—physical, emotional, intimate—and yet you never do. You accept her awkward hugs, that it takes her time to relax when you lay your head on her chest, the fact she sometimes snores, that her clothes may very well be covered in bloodstains when she comes home depending on uncontrollable circumstances.

You never ask for the things she has plenty of power to give you in return for those flaws.

She shakes her head, "but surely you want more."

"I don't."

"There is a lot wrong that you deserve compensation for." 

Arlecchino clenches the pen in her hand tightly, feeling the slight distress of pressure around it. She can't articulate what, not in the way she understands it; flaws is too broad of a term to use. You would instantly know and understand what she meant in a perfect world, but the world is not so generous.

"Like what?" you question. You feel that it’s obvious that nothing Arlecchino will struggle to say will shake you. She opens her mouth, prepared to refute it, headstrong and frankly stubborn as ever, but nothing comes out.

There is silence for a moment, and no one rebuts what you say. Nobody can. The only other person in the room fights with herself to yield and give in to your unwavering loyalty. In your mind, she is everything you want. There is nothing else you can ask of her than to simply accept that you wish to remain with her if only she will allow you to through her own emotional turmoil.

"Are you listening to what I’m saying?" you ask, frown creeping back onto your face as it tugs the corner of your lips down, seemingly against your will, "I could see the worst parts of you and still think you are the most beautiful person I’ve met."

Another chord is struck, her heart beating so loud it thrums in her ears like suddenly becoming aware it’s been threatening to beat out of her chest the entire conversation. She breathes, shaky and caught up in her own surprise. Somehow, she didn’t expect you to be so sweet in your words or throw her off guard so abruptly. She finds it hard to believe them. Arlecchino’s worries haven’t disappeared, only dwindled. It helps, if not completely. There is a reprieve in listening to you.

You have seen the worst of her, every crease she hasn’t ironed out, her sometimes rotten personality, her stained clothes, the weapons she cleans in your home. You have seen her walk to greet you covered in blood and gore from a savage fight, kneel before you and hold your hand with the same hands she uses to kill vagrants and petty criminals, kiss your skin with those lips that spill the vilest of curses against her enemies.

Before she realises what she’s saying, she blurts out a question, "Do you really believe that?" 

It is quiet, reminiscent of how gently you looked at her earlier as her voice barely breaks a whisper, and she can’t bring herself to break eye contact with you once she finds the courage to make it.

"I do." 

You smile at her, hoping she will smile back. A faint smile graces Arlecchino’s lips, ever the handsome picture. Her sincerity is comforting after such a scare. You still worry, and perhaps you will never stop with the way her mind likes to trick her. How long had she thought you secretly looked at her with disgust this time? You fear you won’t have an answer again, though you desperately wish for one. As much as you notice her awkwardness, dismissing some of it and observing other parts with more scrutiny, it is hard to make her talk to you at times.

"Thank you." It is all Arlecchino can think to say in response as she forgets what else she was going to challenge you on. It will return eventually, and she will face it again, but for now, it settles. Arlecchino can reasonably bury her doubt for a time.

"Can we keep talking?" you ask. 

"About anything," she confirms with a nod.

You turn away, walking across the room in pursuit of retrieving your chair from its designated spot by the wall. You pull it along, dragging it over the floor, and set it down across from her on the other side of the desk you’ve been talking across. Your seat welcomes you as it always does as you settle into place, now comfortably at eye level with her.

"In that case," you begin, taking the pen she holds and wriggling it from her hands. She relinquishes it without much of a fight, allowing you to place it off to the side out of the way. "I’m going to ask you how you are, and I would like you to answer me honestly."

"Anything for you, my love."

[whumpshaped]

What if Helle found Beck after a night of drinking and didn’t know how to act when Beck is overly comfortable with seeing them? Sorry if ooc for Beck

i didnt know whether itd be ooc so i just started writing and let it take me wherever it wanted to lol i hope u enjoy!!!

masterlist

tw vampire whumper, intimate whumper, alcohol and drinking and being drunk, dubcon kissy on cheek

He deserved this. He had been living in terror for the past month, and all he wanted was a bit of fun. Spending time with his friends. Normalcy.

Beck downed his third shot way too quickly, eager to forget about the fact that he was a vampire chewtoy now, and it was likely only a matter of time before Helle decided to escalate. This could've been his last free night! So why not make it a stupidly drunk one?

"I've never seen you drink like that," Sofie said with equal parts awe and worry in her voice. "Is this still about that bite scare?"

"I just wanna have fun," he whined. "Can't I? I'm fine."

"I'd never dream of prohibiting that." She still looked nervous, making Beck groan.

"I haven't been out at night for weeks. I just wanna... relax. I just wanna feel normal for a second." He briefly thought about switching his and Noah's shot glasses while he was in the bathroom and drinking his share too, but he wasn't drunk enough yet to trade mouth germs. "Is that such a crime? I won't, like, drink myself into oblivion."

"You're right," she conceded. "I'm not your mother or anything. I'm sure you can look after yourself."

"Thank you. I'll be responsible."

He ended up being less than responsible, buying and consuming at least three more shots. There was no stopping the constant whirling and swirling of the bar anymore, and he barely had the strength to keep his eyes open — but the spinning got so much worse whenever he closed them.

He somehow managed to pay for everything before sliding off the bar stool and heading towards the exit, never considering that it was well past midnight and the crowd outside was thinning. Thoughts of vampires were drowned out by a sudden desire for some pizza, and he decided to try to get to a restaurant he'd been to exactly one time before and gotten lost on the way. He had even been sober, then.

"Oh, goddammit... It should be right here," he muttered, staring at the closed clothing store. "Would it even be open at this hour..?"

"Beck?"

The vampire's voice cut through the drunken haze like a dagger, and he spun around to face them with such momentum that he almost lost his balance entirely. "Helle!" His back hit the locked glass doors of the shop behind him, and he was grateful for the added support. "I'm– I'm looking for the pizza place. You wouldn't happen to know where that is, huh?"

Helle tilted their head at him in curiosity, and he really wished he could've waved a magic wand and sobered up instantly. They had already fed for the night. They were supposed to leave him alone for the rest of it. "Do you drink often?" they asked, completely disregarding his question.

He couldn't help it when he just... laughed. It was an involuntary reaction, a result of his anxiety and the absurdity of the situation. "I don't think that's any of your business!" He flinched back immediately after saying it, cursing himself internally. "Well, I mean, it's not like– y'know, I'm just saying..."

"It is definitely my business. Do you even know how bitter alcohol makes the blood?" They stalked closer, and Beck quickly tried to slip away and continue walking down the street.

"Nope! And you absolutely don't have to put yourself through that!" He almost cursed out loud this time when Helle caught up to him, casual as ever. "Really, I'm just gonna– you know what? I really don't want pizza anymore. I'm gonna– I'm gonna head home. It was great seeing you–"

He did a swift 180, swift enough to stumble and trip over his own feet again, for real this time. Helle was quicker, catching him by the arm before he even realised he was falling. "Humans baffle me sometimes," they murmured. "Your solution to being pursued by a dangerous predator is to make yourself even more vulnerable?"

"No, no, I drank all that alcohol so you'd hate the taste of my blood. I totally knew about the bitterness. This is like– this is advanced, I wouldn't expect you to understand." He pulled on his arm weakly, not even surprised when it did nothing to make Helle release him. "Sorry, I'm just saying anything at this point," he added with a nervous little laugh. "I always do that. I shouldn't be allowed to drink. Hey, how about– what if you let go of me, and then, then I went home, and we just forgot about this?"

"I wish I could." They pulled him even closer, their amused smile greatly undermining their semi-serious tone. "But you are just adorable when you cannot shut up. Not to mention how warm you are right now... flushed... I think you should drink more, actually."

Beck could feel his face getting even warmer at the closeness. A misguided, touch-starved part of him recognised Helle's words as almost flattery, and desperately wanted to just lean into it. The other, rational, sober part of him wanted to run — but it was difficult with his limbs not complying. "You d-don't actually think that," he stammered, still making futile attempts at pushing the vampire away. "I get so annoying."

They must've realised how much he wanted them to deny that, because their smile widened, red eyes gleaming with mischief. "I do think that," they purred. "I always think you are cutest when you tell the truth. When you let that blatant need for praise shine right through."

"I don't– I don't... huh?" He was properly flustered now, so much so that he forgot he was supposed to be struggling. "Stop mocking me," he said without any conviction, so quiet that it could've easily gotten lost in the noise of the street. He knew they heard it, though. A perk of talking to vampires.

God, what was he thinking?

"I would never dream of mocking you. Not when you look so pretty and desperate." His breath hitched when they leaned in, pulling him closer by his shirt to press a kiss to his cheek. "Unless you asked me to, of course. But I thought you were trying to get away," they whispered. "Why are you clinging now?"

Beck had no idea when his fingers had gotten tangled up in the fabric of Helle's sweater, and he pushed them away instantly, thoroughly embarrassed and confused. "I'm g-going home," he exclaimed, waiting for Helle to stop him, or say something that would've made him change his mind, or... something. But they didn't. They just stood there, smiling, letting Beck look like a complete idiot.

"Do you secretly live here?" they teased. "Or would you like to spend some more time with me?"

"Absolutely not. I'm– I'm going. Bye." He turned to leave, getting out of there as fast as he could. He rubbed his cheek absentmindedly with the sleeve of his hoodie the entire way to the bus station, trying to get rid of the feeling of soft lips against his skin.

He really, truly shouldn't have been allowed to drink.

~

taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks @the-cyrulik @pirefyrelight @there-will-always-be-blood @pigeonwhumps @echo-goes-mmm @whumpycries @morning-star-whump @d-cs

[penguwastaken]

This is the review I wrote for my Danganronpa Togami fan translation that I am currently working on, which I figured I might as well upload to Tumblr.

In June of 2023, after reading Danganronpa Togami for the first time, I wrote a review of it on Twitter. I want you to pretend like that review doesn't exist. Completely disregard it because BOY was I wrong.

When I first read Danganronpa Togami last year, I absolutely despised it. I was miserable almost the whole time. But I'm not the same person I was a year ago, I was naive and stupid, but now I have an IQ comparable to Albert Einstein! So basically what I'm saying now is I'm smart enough to understand it now. I couldn't disagree with my original review any more as I am now a based and enlightened Danganronpa Togami enjoyer. That's right, ME, the person who for a year made fun of this novel trilogy, finally sees the light I would like to issue a formal apology to Danganronpa Togami for being so stupid and blissfully unaware of its peakness.

Jokes aside, the more the novel sat in my head, the more conflicted I began to feel about it. I felt pretty mixed about it when I first read it, but those feelings only grew. Were my criticisms warranted? Did Danganronpa Togami really deserve the treatment I gave it? I picked it back up and gave it a second chance, and I was surprised to discover that it was... really good? I thought you were supposed to be this edgy, nonsensical, stupid book, that's how I remembered it at least, so what happened?

I'm going to try to keep this review as spoiler free as possible, because something I realized is that Danganronpa Togami isn't something that can really be explained. It's something that has to be experienced, beginning to end. The summaries don't really do it justice, which is part of why I started this project in the first place. Though at some points I may dive into some minor spoiler territory, so I'll make sure to mark those parts. So consider this my apology and defense of Danganronpa Togami, because I have to admit that in my blind hatred for it, I probably did end up harming it's perception. So maybe, if just a little, I can rectify it here and maybe convince you to give it another chance like I did.

I will say, Danganronpa Togami is probably one of the darker entries in the series. It features a lot of sensitive content, such as graphic and violent imagery, assault, incest, and abuse. If that's enough to turn you away from it, that's fine and perfectly understandable, especially given Danganronpa's track record with those topics. And I will admit, there are absolutely times where Danganronpa Togami borders on being edgy. But I don't think it's without purpose, and it's handled with more severity than most entries in the series. Once again, if that's enough to make you not want to touch it was a 2000 foot pole, that's perfectly reasonable.

Everyone knows Danganronpa Togami is like, REALLY weird. Octopus suits, lightsabers, fortune telling human-cows, you name it. This all seems a little out of place, even for Danganronpa, but it starts to make more sense as you proceed with the story. These weird things aren't real, they're the result of an unreliable narrator. Contrary to what idiot me from 2023 says, I don't think having an unreliable narrator invalidates a story. Even with it, you can still piece together the events of the story and it creates what is honestly one of the best plot twists in the series that ties everything in the novel trilogy together.

If I have one critique of Danganronpa Togami, it's Byakuya's characterization. It makes sense in the context of the novel for him to be perceived as some kind of god due to circumstances and Blue Ink's POV and stuff, but that's not my issue. My main problem comes from the fact that some of his actions are just bad, plain and simple. He is NOT a good person in this novel. I guess it makes sense, this is before his character arc in Trigger Happy Havoc after all, but it just feels kind of weird and out of character sometimes. You could chalk it up to just "more unreliable narrator nonsense," but I feel that misses the point a little.

Danganronpa Togami takes full advantage of its medium, it's twists are something that you can really only put in a novel. It's difficult to explain without going into spoilers, but unlike something like Danganronpa Zero or Danganronpa Kirigiri, I genuinely couldn't imagine Danganronpa Togami as anything else. It's also filled with a lot of fun and witty banter full of references and charming characters.

Danganronpa Togami has some really interesting themes of identity and how one's past or situation can change their perspective. This is seen all throughout the novel trilogy, whether it be the protagonist whose a victim, an idol forced into a popularity debate, or its version of the despair disease, acting more as a placebo effect here. Its themes are a bit more subtle than other entries, not even I'm sure if I fully get them, but they're certainly interesting.

Unlike Danganronpa Kirigiri, which feels like a completely unrelated story with a few elements from the games and Kyoko (not saying that as a bad thing btw), Danganronpa Togami feels like it takes as many elements as it can from the games and stuffs them in. It takes place during the tragedy, features characters from not only the first two games but also the novels, has references to Ultra Despair Girls, brings back weird plot points like the despair disease from Danganronpa 2, and so much more. In a way, it's kind of like a big Danganronpa crossover (also featuring Kagami Family Saga because Yuya Sato couldn't help himself lol).

At some point, you've probably wondered: "is Danganronpa Togami canon?" Due to elements from in it and the divisive nature of Danganronpa Togami, you can't really find a straight answer about it online, so I figured I'd weigh in on the discussion. If you asked me back when I originally read it if it was canon, I'd probably give you a hard "no." But it's a bit more complex than that. It's a little more complex than just a simple "definitively canon" and "definitively non-canon." Disregarding the unreliable narrator, there are parts of the story that we do reliably know happened.

The closest thing to a reference to Danganronpa Togami in any other piece of media in the series to my knowledge is Byakuya saying "by the dignity of the Togami name" once in episode 7 of Danganronpa 3 Future Arc, however Byakuya swearing on the Togami name has been around before the novels even if it is prominently used in them. However, a more definitive piece of evidence towards its canonicity is in episode 11 of Danganronpa 3 Despair Arc, where you see Sonia leading an attack on Prague with a graph of a satellite in the corner. I think this is a pretty cut and dry confirmation in favor of Danganronpa Togami being canon, albeit told through an unreliable narrator's perspective.

And that about wraps up my review and personal thoughts of Danganronpa Togami. It's definitely one of the more weird, yet fascinating entries in the series. I don't think it's on the level of Danganronpa Kirigiri (I don't think any entry in this series is), but it has its merits and hopefully I could convince you to maybe check it or appreciate it a bit more.

[teen6ge]

a nonsense christmas; kmg.

pairing: female!reader x bf!gyu

plot: mingyu has had it with his christmas costume... until he sees yours.

genre: fluff!!!!! a bit comedy too.

word count: 800

warnings: mentions of sexy word play(?) idk how to describe it, but anyway.

a/n: english is not my first english, so forgive me for the errors (also maybe try to disregard it idk sksmdm); i wrote this down while listening to sabrina carpenter's song that is also the title (*^‧^*) it's been quite a while since i posted something here and i do have a scenario to actually write down but i couldn't come up with anything good... anyway, if y'all want a part two or something like this with any other member, lmk! also, i do accept requests and such, so feel free! anyway, here we go. hope you enjoy it <3

"remind me why did i let you convince me into this again?" you laughed slightly at mingyu's whining while fixing his santa's clothes. you can't deny he did look good.

"i told you not to bet on soccer games with my dad, didn't i? i'm his lucky charm and he's always right." once you finished, you take a few steps back so you can look at him better.

crossing his arms and frowning, he asks "so... you're telling me my own girlfriend was the reason i lost the bet?!" as you smile and nod in agreement, he lets out a grunt in betrayal "i can't believe this!" you get closer to him again, hugging his waist while peppering kisses on his face, still not covered with the fake white beard.

"c'mon, baby... you're santa, not the grinch... let's go, my little cousins are going to freak out! oh and don't forget the beard."

the christmas party at your parents house was always a huge event. ever since you were little, your house would be filled with your family and your parents' friends. that was actually how you met mingyu and his parents. you were 6 and he was 8 at the time and you both would go play with other kids around the house. you always had a crush on him, but he only found out when you were graduating high school.

actually, his graduation gift for you was a kiss when he finally got you alone. and, without realising it, he was also your first kiss. ever since then, you started going out and, soon enough, you were dating. you are together for 5 years now and you've never been happier.

thinking about all those years, all those memories makes your heart flutter, and you can't believe how lucky you are to have met your soulmate ever since you were little. looking at him now, watching as he attentively listens to your little cousin asks for her christmas gift. she's sitting on his lap, his eyes focusing on her while he forces a different voice to talk to her so she doesn't know he is mingyu.

you excuse yourself while you run to the pool house, where you and mingyu are going to sleep tonight, and you close the curtains so nobody could look at what you are going to do. mingyu doesn't have to suffer alone with a christmas costume.

the second mingyu closes the door to the pool house, he lets his body rest against it while closing his eyes and removing the stupid hot fake beard and beanie, throwing it to the side. he sighs heavily, voice tired as he speaks. "baby, i swear to god i'll never ever bet with your dad again. you're absolutely right. fuck, this costume is horrible."

with no answer to his complaint, mingyu opens his eyes, frowning when he notices the room is completely dark and silent. he had seen you enter the pool house an hour ago, just assuming you were already too tired to continue partying. it's not like the party went on for too long, but he missed you a lot. but then... it's unusual for him to think that you'd sleep in the dark, he knows you too well that you can only rest properly if there's at least a lamp on.

taking a few steps towards the light switch, mingyu calls out your name, obviously not receiving an answer. the second his finger turn the lights on, the whole place lits up with fairy lights hanging from the ceiling. when mingyu looks at you, his jaw drops with how stunning and stupidly hot you look, which makes you smile satisfied.

you're wearing a mini red skirt with white fluffy edges that matches with your tank top and your santa beanie, along with thigh high black boots and gloves adorning your hands. there's also a string of the fairy lights around your body and a candy cane in your mouth while you're on your knees on the bed.

"surprise!" you say with little difficulty due to the candy. mingyu hasn't moved since he layed his eyes on you, afraid he will wake up at any moment now. you tilt your head a little to the side, candy falling from your lips so you could talk to him better. "gyu?"

it takes a few seconds for mingyu to recompose himself and finally close his mouth, now rubbing his face with both of his hands. oh, this is real he thinks to himself.

"baby, what... how... when did you...?" yep, you broke him. you laugh at his reaction, finally untangling yourself and standing up to walk towards him.

"well... isn't santa going to take care of his misses claus?" your hands pull him closer by his belt, smiling while biting your lip. now it's his turn to laugh.

"yeah... i've got a huge north pole and big snow balls for her as a christmas gift."

[jae-bummer]

My Idol 3: Part Nine

My Idol From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

My Idol is a South Korean competitive reality dating game show. It currently airs on Saturday nights on Jae-bummer’s blog. First broadcast in 2016, the show offers the opportunity for a lucky fan to go on seven blind dates with seven idols. The idol plans the date with the show throwing in a specific mission to complete during the day. At the end of the initial dates, the show opens up an audience vote to decide what four idols will move on to the second date.

My Idol 3: The Series

.

"Don't look at me like that," you muttered, looking up at Insu moodily.

"It looked like he was trying to inhale your face," your bodyguard muttered, eyes wide. "That must have been terrifying."

"I can't tell if you're trying to be an asshole or not," you sighed. Shoulders dropping, you leaned against the wall that Jackson had you pushed up against. "Had it ever occurred to you that I was enjoying it?"

"Not really," he chuckled, leaning against the wall beside you and crossing his arms. "Did you?"

"I thought so," you nodded. "He's very handsome. And very sweet."

"I wasn't asking why," Insu scoffed.

"I didn't say you were," you said, narrowing your eyes at him. "Why are we even talking right now? I'm still irritated with you."

"Oh right," he grinned. "Because I was the one to tell a complete stranger that you had severe hemorrhoids."

"He wasn't your date," you shrugged.

"Is now a bad time to talk?" he asked, suddenly turning serious. You remained silent, the question hanging in the air.

You knew he wasn't referring to your recent statement, but "talking" as a whole to fix whatever had broken between the two of you yesterday.

"Insu," you started slowly, trying to get your thoughts together. "You don't know me."

"I have never claimed to," he sighed. Adjusting his stance against the wall, he moved to face you. "But I know enough about what type of men you're dealing with to give some sort of warning."

"You don't know them either," you said quietly. "I understand that you're inherently protective, but protecting my heart is not part of your job."

Turning to lean his back against the wall again, Insu looked up to the ceiling, silent.

"I admit," you continued, not at all wanting to admit anything. "That there is...a level of comfortability between us."

"How sweet," he muttered.

"But that's not something I can afford to explore at the present time," you breathed. "As there are seven other men who are currently vying for my affections."

"Only seven?" he hummed. "What's another one thrown in there?"

"This isn't a joke," you groaned. "We need to be more professional."

"We?" he asked, lifting his brows. "I've never once, in the entire time of being contracted with My Idol, neglected your safety based off of my feelings. I am always alert and aware of any threats, including, but not limited to those men "vying for your affections.""

"You're getting more invested than you should," you said wearily, feeling suspiciously close to tearing up. "My life is beyond complicated."

"As you've mentioned."

"Disregarding the whole dating thing," you sighed. "I'm homeless right now."

"I don't think you realize..." he began. "That I am working for a production that you are also technically working for, making us coworkers. Are coworkers not allowed to have friendly relationships?"

"We are," you nodded. "But tell me you weren't jealous of me and Jackson's interactions."

"I was not jealous," he said simply.

Crossing your arms, you turned slightly away from him. He had to know that was bullshit.

"I was selfish."

You could only turn and blink up at him. "What?"

"I want to get to know you," he continued quietly, avoiding eye contact. "So badly. When I took on My Idol, this was just another job. Then I met you at a time when you were so broken. I wanted to protect you and make sure no one would hurt you again. I'm generally protective of my clients, but my feelings for you have been beyond confusing."

You swallowed. You had been in a proverbial dry spell for years. Suddenly though, your dating life had gone from raining to pouring.

"Why do they deserve a chance while I don't?" he continued, his face contorting into sadness, then anger. "Because they're celebrities? Because they're what the audience wants to see?

If it's the right time, right place for them...then I'm also here. What makes me so wrong? Why can't I learn about you and see where it goes?"

"This isn't real life," you murmured. "I am contractually obligated to see these men. If something happens during that contracted period, then great. Dating has been hard ever since I stepped foot in Korea. It's not that I don't want to acknowledge you as a potential suitor, but-"

"I just don't fit into that part of the story," he breathed.

"Insu," you whispered, the tears now dangerously close to falling. "You're not being fair to either of us."

"I know," he muttered, turning away from you completely. "I know. I'm being selfish. I'm putting my wants before what you, well, legally have to do."

"It's not wrong to be selfish sometimes," you cooed, tugging on the back of his suit jacket. "But right now, I'm asking you not to be."

"That's a tough ask," he said quietly.

Sick of speaking to his back, you walked around his body to stand in front of him.

"We can be friendly," you said sternly. He had to understand. "We can be coworkers, but you have to stop with these pre-conceived notions you have of the contestants. They all seem genuinely kind and happy to be able to date without ridicule. They're just people searching for a connection."

Insu remained quiet, biting his lip, and looking anywhere but at you.

"I know it's hard not to be angry...when you don't get a chance at something...at someone," you corrected. "But please, if you really care like you say you do, just go easy on me."

Exhaling through his nose, he finally glanced down toward you. "I will. Only because it's for you."

Slowly nodding, you looked up at him with a sad smile. He really was lovely, and in another life, you may have bumped into him, and fallen hard. It was best to nip this in the bud before the two of you grew past flirting and casual jealousy. Whatever issue he had regarding celebrities was likely unrelated to you and more so to his career. You were certain there was much more to his story than wanting a chance to date. He didn't seem like the type to go after things so trivially.

"Can I go to sleep now?" you asked, the question quieter and more fragile than you had anticipated.

"Of course," he breathed. Pivoting and walking toward your door, he already had your room key in hand. "I shouldn't have forced you into a conversation. I'm sure you're exhausted."

"No," you sighed. "It was good we talked."

"I'm not sure if "good" would be the word I would use," he grumbled.

This caused you to smirk. "It can be a good conversation without actually feeling good about it."

Insu furrowed his brow. "Do you feel good about it?"

"Absolutely not," you laughed. "But I don't really have a say over my own life right now, do I?"

..

During a time where you should be worried about the four incredible men who had each whisked you off your feet, your thoughts were plagued with the conversation you had with Insu. Playing it backwards and forwards in your head, you tried to find a way to make everyone happy. No matter how much mental gymnastics you did, there was no conclusion. The situation was impossible.

You knew from the moment you had met your bodyguard that you had the fattest crush on him. In fact, it was easy to admit at this point. He was good looking, certainly had a tragic backstory, and in general, seemed morally grey. It was all of your favorite tropes about the male leads in every single book you had read. He was a protector and he made you feel so safe in a time that was so uncertain. Maybe it was a touch of Stockholm syndrome, but who could blame you?

But it was all over now. You had to put your adult pants on and squash the small kindling that had been ignited. It was what was best for everyone.

Spinning the ring that Hongseok had made for you around your finger, you paced the length of your hotel room. After a few days break, you were finally slated for another date. With an estranged Insu and a generally stuffy Hyuk, your days had been long. You had met a handful of times with producers, as well as your old apartment complex. The police were still trying to sort out what exactly had happened during your break in. Suspects were hard to find when the entire country's eyes were focused on you.

Thinking back to the dates you had already been on, a thought struck you. You were over halfway complete with the first round. Four men had graced your life, while only three men were left waiting in the wings. It was an odd thought that you had met so many different personalities in the past two weeks. At times, this whole experience felt like a fever dream.

Your evening with Jungkook had been so simple in the best way. When meeting someone with the level of star power he had, you were expecting a big personality. It was refreshing to find him to be so down to earth. He was so expressive and understanding with his words and actions. Talking to him was like talking to a childhood friend. You had been at ease instantly and he still acted as a calming balm to your soul. Running into him in the hallway had only confirmed that.

The day you spent with Hongseok, however, felt like a true first date. It wasn't that you were totally awkward with each other, but you definitely had to warm up. After a strained first interaction, it was easy to see that he was tooth achingly sweet. With an endless supply of jokes and stories, the butterflies in your stomach knew no peace with him. If there was any consolation to your apartment being broken into, it was that he was the one to help you through it.

Rebounding from the shock of losing most of your worldly possessions, San was a perfect date to follow. The man was quite literally a walking green flag. His innocence and naturally cute mannerisms made you feel like you had been dropped inside of a rom com. He was a soft boy. Even after he had been injured, he worried about how you were doing. Plus, you had to begrudgingly admit, you kind of liked the nickname he had given you.

Your last date had still left you reeling. Being with Jackson was like constantly holding your breath. He was incredibly kind, but also incredibly hot. He oozed sex appeal, and it was easy to get lost in the idea of a first kiss with him. His date had been a little more involved than the others, but you felt like it had represented him well. He had so many different sides to him that it was hard to peg down. He was an enigma, and you were hopeful that you would get to explore your relationship more.

You closed your eyes as you heard a knock on the door. "Y/N," Insu called softly. "It's time."

Taking a deep breath, you nodded to yourself. Another evening date meant another appearance of Insu the chaperone. You knew he was likely to behave better this time, but you still hated that he essentially had to watch you date other people. It was unfair.

Unlocking your door, he pushed gently against it, causing it to swing in toward you. Turning to face him, you were surprised to find a smile on his face.

"Well, aren't you cute."

"Insu..." you warned.

"He said in a totally platonic way," he smirked, motioning for you to come into the hall.

Rolling your eyes, you walked past him, instantly feeling lighter. He had been a bit quiet since your big conversation, so it was nice to see him getting back to himself.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he took his place behind you.

"Nervous," you breathed. "But the good kind I think."

"Good," he hummed. "I know it's been hard to think of anything but the chaos going on around you, but you deserve to have a good time. Really enjoy what's happening."

Shooting a suspicious look over your shoulder, you quirked a brow. "Thanks."

Your expression caused him to laugh. "What?"

"I just..." you murmured, trying to pick your words carefully. "Wasn't expecting for you to be supportive after our conversation the other day."

"I've done my pouting," he sighed. "I just want you to be happy."

Stepping into the elevator at the end of the hall, your heart skipped a beat. He was too good for you anyway.

"Thank you," you said after a moment of silence. "Really."

"There's nothing to thank me for," he offered.

Unable to come up with a reply before the elevator doors slid open, you reached over and gave his bicep a quick squeeze. Shuffling into the lobby, you looked around, surprised to see the driver and camera men the only ones waiting for you.

"What-" you started but were immediately interrupted by Wu.

"Your date wanted to take a different mode of transportation," he sighed. "We're meeting him at the venue."

"Different mode of transportation," Insu clucked. "I wonder what that means."

...

Standing on the sidewalk in front of a record store, you watched the sun begin to set on the horizon. The colors were beautiful, but the lack of direct sunlight already caused the temperature to begin to plummet. Shivering slightly, you tried not to get annoyed. Where was your date?

After another five minutes of waiting, you were jostled from your thoughts by the revving of a loud engine. Looking up, you were surprised to see a large motorcycle easing smoothly up to the curb. Surely that couldn't be...

The driver began to fiddle with his bike, turning it off before reaching for the helmet he had been wearing. Freeing his head, he shook out his hair and ran his fingers through it. Honestly, it felt like you were watching a movie as he slid from the cycle and looked your way.

As soon as your eyes met, it felt like your breath had been stolen from your chest. Who was allowed to be that good looking? Even after popping off a helmet, he looked like a dream.

Shaggy black hair, pouty lips, and doe eyes, the man strode toward you, obviously in no hurry. Dressed in a black jean jacket with a grey hoodie underneath, black jeans, and converse, it looked like he had walked out of a magazine.

Remaining silent until he finally made his way before you, he offered a shy smile. "Hi."

"Hi," you choked out, suddenly overly aware of the lack of saliva in your mouth.

Tilting his head as he watched you curiously, he instantly noticed your arms wrapped around your torso. Without saying a word, he tugged off his jean jacket and held it in your direction.

"No, I'm fine-" you started, a natural reaction to not wanting to cause anyone trouble.

Lifting his brows, he shook it a bit. As you continued to stare, he heaved a sigh before walking around you and placing the coat across your shoulders. Stepping back in front of you, he grinned. "I'm Hyungwon, from Monsta X."

"I'm Y/N," you croaked. "From My Idol."

Hyungwon's smile grew in size as heat began to instantly creep up your neck. How did someone's simple existence make you so flustered?

"Nice to meet you, Y/N from My Idol," he chuckled. "Why don't we get you out of the cold and head inside?"

"Yes, inside," you said dumbly, already heated by your sheer embarrassment.

Hyungwon smiled again as he took a place beside you, putting his hand across your lower back to guide you into the building.

His fingers felt like they were searing a hole into the denim. You mentally chided yourself as you stumbled forward. Get it together, Y/N, or risk this being the most mortifying night of your life.

.

[currantlee]

A Few Words on Unsolicited Criticism

Came across this and yeah... I wanna talk about it. (I know not reblogging is kinda rude, but I don't want any harrassment directed towards this person, and the best way to contribute to that is by not disclosing their identity. It doesn't matter for the point I'm gonna make anyway)

The mindset I can see in the post screenshotted above is, in my opinion, an extremely damaging one - both for the people receiving unsolicited criticism from people like this, as well as for these self-proclaimed critics themselves. How do I know? Well, because I used to be one of these kinds of people, and I'm so glad I got over that, both for the people I have hurt with this kind of behavior (if any of you are reading this, I'm still sorry) and those I would potentially have hurt if I kept going like this, as well as for my own wellbeing.

You see, this "criticism is always valid"-attitude stems from one mindset in my opinion (and that is if I'm being nice and disregard the entitlement-option): the mentality that everyone is (and should be) always trying to improve - which is not a great mentality to have, both for the people you are criticizing and your own work (if you engage in creative endeavours), as it can lead to perfectionism, which can, in turn, damage your ability to create.

The truth is, whether people are actively trying to improve or not is situational. You do not know what another person is going through or why they are even creating. They could be trying to improve their skills, but they could also be creating to vent. Or, you know, purely to have fun, see their ideas come to life or to distract themselves from the stress that is everyday life - which also constantly pushes us to get better. There are lots of reasons to create, and not everyone is trying to get better at all times - and that is completely valid! It doesn't make one any less of an artist, a writer, a videograph, ... if they're not actively trying to improve!

Also, for all you creatives out there: I don't actually think you should take criticism from anyone. First of all, not everyone is actually qualified to give constructive criticism which is a skillset of its own (though I do want to point out that pretty much everyone can point out things and / or make suggestions regarding your work, which can also be extremely helpful), and secondly, there is no ultimate recipe for helpful criticism. It varies from person to person. Some are better off taking criticism from people they're close with (for example folks with trust issues), while others fare better taking criticism from people they barely know (for example folks who persue a creative career and are working with / for people they barely know). Some are better off with criticism that includes a lot of jokes (for example folks who love to have fun while editing and can laugh about themselves without feeling bad), while others fare better with kindly worded criticism (for example folks who are currently working on self-esteem-issues).

Last but not least, I wanna talk about "don't like (it), don't read (it)" (and its variations such as "don't like, don't watch") a bit.

Fanwork is free entertainment, meaning no one wastes any money on it. Yes, there are some people who are actively trying to improve their skills, but a lot of us are just trying to have fun. Unless a fanwork (usually a fanfic or ongoing AUs) is held up like the second coming of Jesus by (parts of) a fandom (and therefore has a big impact) and / or taken very serious by its creator and / or the criticism is tied into the discussion of a bigger topic, for example pretty much every -ism-issue (including in fandom itself), queerphobia or misogny, meaning that the discussion revolves more around these issues than the actual work itself, unsolicited criticism is not only unwanted, but unnecessary. "Dont like (it), don't read (it)" also ties into audience entitlement, meaning the attitude that everything must be made for everyone (think: Penjamin Shapiebro reacting to the Barbie Movie) which is especially common in people that are privileged and don't acknowledge it, when the reality is that you can never please everyone. Therefore not every creative work can or must be made for everyone. If you don't like a work, more often than not it's not because that work is actually bad, but because it's just not for you. That's what "don't like it, don't read it" means: it's okay to dislike something and move on from it, even if it's for no obvious reason. It's a statement that's both empowering to creators and to audiences if you take like this.

In other words: the only thing in this conversation that's "idiotic" in my opinion is unsolicited criticism because it usually helps absolutely no one.

[analyzing-people-like-hell]

ANALYSIS #2: 03/07/24

A second specimen to add to my collection. A very silly one as well. I hope my research is up to your silly standards as well, #2. :3

Let's take a look at the list you've provided.

Ahh, the classic tragedy of a main character. A hero without a hero's journey. Yours was rather complicated to figure out, but I think I've been able to get a solid enough grasp on you. We'll just have to see if my findings are truly correct. Why don't we take a look at your background first?

"LORE":

A starving artist. You were forced to reach for standards that you never wanted, for you're yearning to follow dreams that may never come true. Yet you strive for them despite this, ignoring the (honestly outdated) standards that people like your family have set for you. Abandoning these kind of harmful traditions would normally be beneficial, if it weren't for the fact that your family looked down on you for it. You try to ignore it to the best of your ability, but it's hard to disregard them when everyone's opinions are so evident at every second of the day. Don't you deserve to live life the way you want to? Is all this cost worth it?

People have left your life without ever giving an explanation as to why. You've gotten used to it, it doesn't seem to bother you as much as it used to, but part of you will always wonder why. There's a child that is still searching for answers. Answers you still cannot give.

Generational trauma. Just generational trauma in general. Your parents were never reliable. The fact that they expected you to be reliable to them probably just made you hate them even more. It feels fucked up. You know it could be worse, but it feels so fucked up that they couldn't even fulfill basic parental responsibilities. Is it so much to ask for them to be dependable for just one moment? For them to be on your side just once? You look at kids with better parental relationships and you hate it. You hate how it makes you want to tear your insides apart. Why couldn't they give you that same kind of love? Why were they never there? It's not fair. It never was, and I'm sorry that you've only gotten half-assed apologies from them.

I'm not here to fix the mistakes of horrid parenting though. (If I could do that I would have been telling people that condoms were a cure-all for life's problems.) What I can do is pinpoint what issues these events might have given you. So why don't we continue onward.

THE TRUTH:

You have strong values because of what you've gone through, but your identity is less developed. You have dreams, but it's almost as if they're not fully fleshed out. Tell me, where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10? It seems like you're always just following along with the world. Things come at you, you don't seek for them. You honestly don't know what you should be seeking for exactly. You know what to avoid, you know what to do, you know the rules; you just don't know what game you're even playing. But you keep throwing your dice. Eventually one of those rolls has to get you what you want, right?

You don't deal with your issues either. Maybe you just don't know how to deal with them. Problems come to you and you sit with them because it's all you were taught. Taught to sit with them and wait until they go away. You can only sit with a caged beast for so long before it breaks its bounds. That thing has already managed to cut you while caged; you are praying it does not kill you when it is free.

I think that same beast has taught you anger. It pisses you off the same way the world pisses you off. Everything does in a way. It's all unfair. It never was fair. Why didn't you deserve better? Why do you get dealt a monstrosity like this? When is it your turn to feel whole again?

You're also one of those people with that weird self esteem issue: the one where you feel completely worthless to the world yet also feel like you're better than everyone else. You're probably a little narcissistic and have heavy swings between hating yourself and being full of yourself. How're those depressive episodes going for you, by the way? Are you still sure you don't need to talk about those with anyone? Actually, why do you rarely tell anyone about these things? Is it the fear of being a burden? Are you scared that the people you tell will start seeing you differently, maybe they'll know too much about you? Or maybe it's the fear that no matter what you do, you'll never be the person you want to be, so you might as well keep going as you are? All valid fears, but none should be valid excuses.

Those aren't the only things holding you back though. Another is your focus. It's hard for you to focus on anything because it all feels so meaningless to you, especially when it feels like you would fit so well in any other universe. You were meant to be saving worlds, not working a 9 to 5. You don't know what you'll do if you end up stuck being ordinary. You want to live. You want to have fun. You want to make life worth it. You need to. 

I'm afraid I can't promise that you'll be able to get all your wishes, but I can promise that one day you will find a way to make life your own. And I have all the proof I need to show you exactly that.

YOUR BEST TRAITS:

You truly are an artist at heart. You're creative and innovative, which helps you make solutions to problems that most might not even think about. Your insight on situations is valuable because of the fact that you're willing to follow your gut. Without your perspective, the world would be losing a vital mark in the pages of its history, so keep using it as your canvas.

You really are a true friend. When you care about people, you make sure to keep their needs in mind. You look out for people when nobody else is. You make sure to keep their best interests in mind while still keeping your own values. You might not be very vocal about it (especially since words might not be your strong suit), but you certainly put in all the effort you can through your actions. You won't ever need words if you continue showing your honesty and loyalty. Those will always be a thousand times more valuable than any word you could find in an age-old dictionary.

You are the heart of your story. When people talk about determination and strength, you are the best example in the room. You lead with your intuition and it makes you powerful because of it. Not all natural leaders have a good heart, so the fact that you are willing to fight for your values no matter the cost really does say something. Once you have your heart truly set on something, it's almost impossible to get you to waver. You might not exactly know what you're fighting for yet, but you'll be unstoppable when that time comes. In the meantime, you must keep trusting in your gut. It's hard to find people who hold themselves in such a way. Don't lose hold of that.

If it weren't for people like you, there would be a lot less hope in the world. You are what makes humanity so beautiful. You are flawed but you never let those flaws stop you. You've made mistakes, you know that, and you are doing everything you can to make up for those mistakes. What makes all of this so much more meaningful is the fact that you stay true throughout all of it. To be truthful and flawed is one of the most admirable traits you can find in any human. You shouldn't be perfect, because perfection is fake, and at least in my opinion, it is much more honorable to fall in authenticity than to rise through forgery. You are a hero. Heroes will always fail. That does not mean it is the end of their story.

Also you're very goober-core :3

And with that, I think I'll leave my thoughts here and take my bow.

With utmost gratitude (and hopefully utmost accuracy),

Dr. WZ

[yjano]

Who I am now?

Part 11.

Pairing: Jake x Mc.

Genre: Angst, comedy, dark romance.

Warnings: Strong language, angst scenes. 18+ content can be found.

Words: 5.9k

Author's note: This story contains mature topics and is not fully related to the duskwood game. A different parallel with different personalities. Thank you everyone for following and liking this! lly.♡

•

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Jake focus.

.

The next morning, I walked out of the shower, feeling refreshed and tousling my dark wet hair with a towel. I entered the main bedroom, wearing a pair of ripped jeans and a black hoodie. I stopped in my tracks when I noticed Mc helping herself to the complimentary breakfast of warm buttered toast and the black coffees provided by the couple who owned the place.

I gulped, letting the hand holding the towel drop to my side as I was studying Mc discreetly, walking toward her. It's all cool, Jake. Just simply grab your toast and don't scare her. Stay calm. An exhausted Mc was curled up against the corner of the couch, wearing a red hoodie Lex had donated her. She was biting into her buttered toast. Upon noticing my gaze on her, Mc pulled the hood of the jumper over her head, covering half of her face and shielding her dark circles and the sore red skin around her worn eyes.

I walked over to pick up my slice of toast and tried to give some space to Mc by sitting on the unmade bed a distance away from her. I bit into my breakfast warily, waiting for Mc to speak her regular flurry of questions she usually asked every morning. So it was more than just worrying to see her so silent and wary early in the morning.

Finally, when the silence got too deafening. I cleared my throat, standing up to brush away the toast crumbs.

"Mc, we should get going," I muttered, secretly hoping to elicit a reaction from Mc. But unfortunately, she didn't say anything just simply nodded, finishing the last of her toast. She stood up, weakly brushing the tiny crumbs off of her hoodie front as well.

When she stood up waveringly, I got a full view of Mc's sleep-deprived self. Her skin was pasty under the morning light, her eyes were bruised from rubbing them dry, looking as if she'd be ready to fall asleep within seconds. Her shoulders were slumped in an exhausted manner.

I looked away, trying to ignore the guilt of feeling eating me alive. Distractedly grabbing a black backpack I hauled it onto my shoulders before wordlessly walking towards the room's door, listening to Mc's shuffling close behind.

We both walked towards the center of town after leaving the motel, cycling in the half-deadness of it all. For some unknown reason, people have disappeared from the town. But it's Duskwood. The ssight was more than just unnerving to me but still, neither of us said anything.

Soon I figured out the reason for the lack of people when we passed by a public library noticeboard stuffed full of brightly decorated posters advertising a amusement park party taking place today. I read the bold font denoted on the poster.

"Join us for live entertainment. Fun booths, slides, homemade foods, and drinks are available for free!"

I furrowed my brows slightly. Didn't Mc wrote that she wanted to go to an amusement park on her bucket list. It's not as big or as great as I'd want her to experience but it'll do. I nodded to myself warming to the idea already.

I looked over my shoulder to see a fidgeting Mc sitting on the carrier, pulling the sleeves of her jumper over her hands, completely disregarding the noticeboard we'd stopped in front of. I started to pedal down the desolate roads with the intent to find that amusement park. Maybe the amusement park will make her brighten up a bit more.

It didn't take long before we arrived at an amusement park. The large grassland was flooded with hundreds of people walking around holding clear plastic buckets of baby pink candy floss and wearing large smiles and pretty sundresses. There were dozens of rides set and lit up, intending to attract the attention of several townsfolk with their bright red and blue flashes and loud carnival-type music.

Amongst these few rides, there was an army of stalls weaving in and out of crowds of people, offering and selling homemade tasty snacks and cool drinks to eager children and adults.

"Wow." Mc breathed, climbing off the carrier in a trance state. I followed her actions, climbing off the bike's seat with a small smile on my face. I was glad that I managed to evoke a reaction from her. I dumped the bicycle against a small tree nearby, ditching it completely. We won't need that anymore. I faced Mc, licking my lips unnoticeably.

"Wanna go on a couple of rides?" I asked with a corner of my mouth tugged upwards in a little knowing smirk.

"Yeah!" Mc whisper shout with her hands clenching into fists excitedly as she was looking around with her big eyes. I smiled, leading the way happily whilst listening in on Mc gasping at everything we walked by.

It seems to be working. I stopped amid bustling townspeople and looked over at a wide-eyed Mc with a smirk still firmly placed on my face.

"What ride do you wanna go on?"

Mc looked at me at the sound of my voice and visibly froze under my gaze. Her smile dropped quickly and soon was replaced with a thin line. My smirk faltered when she looked away.

"Oh. I don't care." Mc muttered hastily, shoving her fisted hands into the front pouch-like pocket of her hoodie. I sighed internally, looking away and studying the array of rides set out before our eyes. I tried to not feel defeated, but soon enough I spotted a striped red stall nearby. One that proffered oversized plushies if you managed to knock a tin can pyramid with three balls. Three balls equal three tries.

"How about that one? Wanna get a plushie?" I questioned, pointing out the stall to Mc. She nodded and we both made our way to the stall, silently despite being immersed in a throng of loud cheers and screams belonging to excited townspeople. Who was eating, playing, running, riding rides, and laughing loudly with their friends. These people were the complete opposites of the rather awkwardly silent us.

"How much is it to pay?" I asked as soon as we reached the stall. The stall owner, dragged a wet lollipop from his lips and grinned at me before answering.

"5 euros."

I handed the demanded amount of money and motioned for Mc to have a go, stepping to the side and watching Mc timidly grappling for the ball set on the stall's counter and picking it up. Her brows furrow in concentration, she lift the ball high in the air, the tip of her tongue poked out from her mouth when she flung the ball as hard as she could toward the stacked tower.

The force Mc had used to fling the ball was way too strong. She ended up flinging the ball right over the tower, making it hit with a loud thwack against the thin wall of the stall. The man chuckled throatily.

"No worries beautiful, you still got two tries!" He beamed, pulling out a saliva-coated lollipop from his mouth. Mc rolled her eyes, readying herself for another throw.

"Mc, try to throw it low, and swing your arms forwards with less force." I offered, trying not to laugh at her expression. Reluctantly Mc followed my instructions and threw the ball whilst biting her lower lip. The ball just missed the tower making her groan out loud.

"Last try now. Don't fail!" The man reminded unhelpfully. I disregard the stall owner.

"Come on, Mc. You were close." I murmured, pushing my body off the stall's counter to get a better view. Mc applied my instructions again and aimed for the bottom of the tower. It hit the center bottom which should've to allowed the tower to topple forward. Mc turned to me, squealing with joy and jumping up and down on the spot.

"I won! I really won!" She smiled widely looking at me excited over her win. I immediately reciprocated the big smile when I caught her looking at me, feeling glad she was smiling again.

"Better luck next time, beautiful. It was so close." The man sympathized, smiling wryly, picking up the three balls Mc had flung. Mc looked over at the man, smiling confusedly.

"You didn't get them to fall." The man shrugged with a knowing smile plastered on his face.

"But I did." Mc protested, looking over to see the collapsed tower. Only the tower wasn't collapsed, not one can have fallen. "But-" Frowning, she picked up the ball and flung it at the same spot, successfully hitting it in the same spot. Her jaw dropped open when the tower didn't budge at all. As if it'd been glued down together.

I on the other hand, soon realized what was going on after years of experience. Gritting my teeth together and turning toward the stall owner who was looking at Mc, with his gross lollipop twirling around his fingers.

"Hey." I cleared my throat loudly, placing  a gun discreetly in front of him on the counter. The man leaned against the counter, flickering his gaze downwards at the object. Nearly swallowing his lollipop whole, choking himself on the candy. I tilted my head forward slightly whilst maintaining eye contact with the suddenly fearful stall owner.

"Alright, listen up you litle bitch. Give her the damn bear plushie she won it fairly. I'm not standing for this rigged bullshit." I hissed narrowing my eyes at him. "So if you don't want me firing a bullet into your forehead, make her smile by giving her the motherfucking plushie."

The stall owner gulped hard and nodded, hurriedly moving to grab one of the plastic wrapped plushies hanging overhead. His lollipop was threatening to fall from his glistening lips. Mc, noticing the man's actions, stopped playing and blinked at me and the man, completely lost.

The man with a frozen smile on his face, forcefully handed the plushie to Mc who took it with big eyes, surprised at the gesture.

"Wha-"

"Please take it! You won it fairly!" The man smiled falsely, looking at me uneasily. Mc looked down at the big plushie in her arms before smiling widely. Her sore eyes formed into happy crescents.

"Thanks!" She grinned, tightening her grip around the plushie. Tue stall owner, looking very pasty, nodded jerkingly and looked over at me. Mc did the same, smiling hard at me and waving the plushie to show me her prize. I quickly shoved my gun behind my back and fixed a light smile on my features.

"Yeah thanks, man. Bye." I grinned, walking past the nervous stall owner, motioning for Mc to walk along with me.

We went on a few rides and then there were a bunch of vending machines that I spent a good twenty minutes wasting my money and making an unimpressed Mc sit on a bench, idly slurping the last dregs of his fizzy drink. And now, well...

"What's next?" I asked casually, side-eying Mc. There was a large inflatable slide, acting as a massive centerpiece. But there were already several people lined up at the side, holding a variety of inflatable rings and mats which'll soon be used to slide down with. Mc's eyes widen at the sight and an excited gasp left her parted lips when she watched people slide down the slide all at once.

"Guess it's this then." I mused, watching Mc's reaction. We walked ahead and lined up in the queue, waiting for the people to hand in the inflatables so we could have our turn. I stood out of the line and shook my head when someone handed me the inflatable. Instead, I motioned for the person to hand it to Mc. She frowned at me, taking the inflatable ring, and looking at me questioningly. I rifled around for my cigarette box and lighter.

"There's no way I'm going up there," I muttered. "I'm afraid of heights, and going up there will just worsen it for me." I said bluntly, taking out the items needed to smoke.

"Really?" Mc asked, surprised. It was probably the first proper word Mc's said all day to me, and I can't help but offer up a weak smile as I nodded. Taking a cigarette out of my cigarette box and packing the rest away into my jacket pocket as Mc was staring at me.

"There's no way I'm going up there," I murmured again, placing the cigarette between my lips and lighting the stick up with the lighter. Mc turned away chuckling. Is she laughing? I peered around a little to see Mc laughing quietly behind the hood of her hoodie, using it to conceal herself.

I coughed up the smoke I'd accidentally held in way too long and turned away, sputtering like crazy. I felt Mc reaching out to pat me on the back in an attempt to help me. But it didn't help.

"You shouldn't smoke," Mc mumbled when I recovered myself. Ignoring her I brought the cigarette to my lips once again, breathing in the smoke whilst turning away from Mc. Reddening slightly because, I just embarrassed myself in front of the many people queuing up, and becaude Mc had looked so damn cute, hiding her tiny bout of laughter behind that oversized hood of her jumper.

"Next!" The owner of the ride suddenly called out, causing the queue to shuffle forward. Mc make it in with the next round of people and waved at me. I watched on as I was smoking waiting for Mc to climb onto the slide and seat herself at the ledge at the top. Mc was sitting in the middle, a wide smile on display as she was waving her plushie in the air. I couldn't help but smile back and raise my hand a little to wave back.

"3, 2, 1! Go!" A man called over a loudspeaker, initiating a flurry of people to go down the slide, squealing as they hurtle down to the safety mats arranged below.

I laughed at the way Mc clung to both the inflatable ring with her hands and her legs wrapped around plushie to not drop it as she was sliding down, mouth opening wide as peals of loud laughter escaped. When she finally reached down to the mats placed on the ground, she climbed to her feet hurriedly and ran back to the queue without saying anything to me apart of.

"Again! Again!" She smiled, running back. I shook my head at the sight but let a grinning Mc line up again.

She's happy. I exhaled the smoke from my lips in a small huff. It's better to see her like this than how she was like last night.

After two more go's, Mc and I wandered around the amusement park in comfortable silence, slurping down brightly colored icy slushies that I had bought when I caught Mc eyeing it at one particular stall. I was about to pop the question of leaving the park to carry on when Mc suddenly burst out that she needed to pee.

"There should be portable toilets somewhere," I murmured, looking around. A second later, Mc spotted a row of them. A good few meters away, hidden behind a red glittery stall named

'The kiss booth'

Mc immediately pushed her slushie and plushie into my arms and bounded in the direction of the toilets without a word to me.

Before I could see where Mc had ran off to over the mess of her plushie and slushie shoved onto me, Mc had disappeared to god knows where. She was nowhere in sight. I panicked, looking around frantically for the toilets or Mc but I couldn't find her with the dozens of townspeople surrounding me, trapping me in place.

Fuck. Fuck. I'm so fucked right now.

I groaned loudly, barging in the direction I hoped was the one Mc went in with a half-metre-long plushie and two cups of slushie in my hands.

.

Mc focus.

.

A couple of minutes later, I emerged from the portable toilet seat, wiping my hands down with a lemon-scented wipe.

"Excuse me?" Someone walked right in front of my pathway, abruptly blocking me off. I looked up from my hands and wipe, worried as to why this person decided to stop right in front of me.

"I need to, sorry if this offends you or annoys you, but could you pull down your hoodie? I need to confirm something." The guy asked, bending down a little to try and see my face better but my hoodie persistently blocked half my face off.

Oh- no. He recognized me! He knows I'm the missing girl from the news channel.

Fuck, where's Jake...But maybe I am panicking for no reason. Not everyone watches the news right? I was hesitant for a few seconds but then with shaky hands, I reached up to push my hoodie off my head. I waited for this dude to hasp out 'I knew you were the girl from the channels!' But instead.

"I knew it! I knew you're good-looking!" Whilst excitedly taking my hand in his, he tugged me along somewhere.

I was slightly alarmed, stutteringly following after the guy who led me to wooden steps leading up to a tiny makeshift stage. The guy with a grin pushed me up those steps and patted my back.

"Do me a favor and go sit in that empty chair, please? I need someone to fill that seat while I go pee otherwise my I will pee my pants. Please!" He begged with smile straining.

"Uh-"

"Great! Thank you so so much you're a lifesaver! I'll be right back in two minutes!"

"Hey yo-" Before I could call after the boy and ask him about what the hell he was talking about, an overwhelmingly pretty girl patted me on the shoulder.

"Are you our temporary replacement?" She urged and before I could open my mouth, the girl was already tugging me by the hoodie to the empty desk the guy had pointed out earlier.

"I suppose? What do I have to do?"

"The customers were getting antsy. Please sit here! I'll give you a couple of seconds to ready yourself before we start." With that, the girl left, leaving me confused.

I looked down at the two-seater desk I was seated at. It was covered in red crepe material paper. I picked up the laminated sheet and read it.

"The kissing booth - Color type

White Peck - on cheek/forehead.

Pink peck - on lips.

Red - kiss.

Maroon - French kiss."

I widened my eyes, looking around to see myself on a miniature wooden stage along with four other people who sit in the same condition as me on chairs accompanied by desks. I turned around to see half a motherfucking town lined up to participate in this 'kiss booth' scheme which seemed to have been thrust upon me.

People ranging from freakishly young to creepy old folks who had wide smiles on their faces. From people who were shy and jittery to people who were smirking cockily at their friends, spritzing mint spray in their mouths, are lined up. I spotted a lot of maroon-colored tickets being handed out to townsfolk who pay a surprisingly heavy amount for tongue action. I feel sick.

I am gonna have to kiss some old guys or some irritating fuckboys? Fucking hell, I don't wanna kiss someone random.

You have time to run and they won't even notic-

"The kissing booth is now open! Let's kiss!" A person beamed, speaking through a loudspeaker to attract the people's attention. the people cheered in response.

The first four customers walked on to the stage. A gang of boys with gelled hair and branded tracksuits clung to their weedy frames walked up to the stage. I'm not going smack my lips with some kid's chapped lips. I stood from my chair just when one of the boys, the boy that was assigned to my desk, spat out swear words.

"Hey, you motherfucking cunt, it's my turn! Fuck off jiggly balls, she's mine!" The boy grunted, roughly pushing the man holding a plushie and two slushies in his hands. My mind went blank for a second, I tried to see the man, my savior's face behind the plushie.

"Don't you have preschool lessons to go to today, you little fucker?" The man gritted out threateningly as he wrestled with the young boy. The young boy cussed at the plushie guy but the guy ignored him, walking straight toward my desk. Uncertain about the man's identity, I shrunk back in my seat, my throat tightened as the man harshly dumped the plushie to the side of the table and-

"J-JD?"

"Mc, what the fuck are you doing at a bloody kiss booth? You tell me you're going to the toilet but I see you at a motherfucking kiss booth-"

"First you steal my place and now you're stealing my time! Back the fuck off!" The bratty kid yelled but Jake ignored him.

"-Ready to kiss some fetus."

"What? Do you think I really wanna kiss some random kid?" I retorted, narrowing my eyes at him. The fuck he is on about.

"Kiss and leave loser!" The kid yelled but this time I ignored him.

"Someone made me fill in their spot while they went to the toilet," I explained, with cheeks getting red from anger. "I didn't realize he was making me join the kiss booth until now." I hissed, sitting up in his chair. "I thought he wanted me to look after some fucking brownies not the fucking kiss booth."

"Come on kiss already! My mom is coming this way!"

"Fi-" Jake started but got cut off by that annoying bratty kid.

"You stupid dick! If you ain't gonna do it, let me!"

Jake's eye twitched.

"Fine, fine whatever. That's all fine but I couldn't find you. Let me know before running off okay? I have spent five minutes walking around looking for you." Jake bitterly remarked whilst glaring over his shoulder at the angry kid.

"It was only five minutes." I raised unimpressed eyebrows at him. I know you were worried about me, Jake. I can read you like an open book right now.

"Five minutes in which I could've bought candy floss but- "

"You're so annoying, don't make me come over there you fuckhead!"

"I-"

"I'll beat you up loser!" Jake clenched his jaw hard.

"We should probably just leave. The guy should come back soon enough."

"What guy?" Jake asked, trying to not gather plushie in his arms and fling it at the whining shit behind him.

"The guy who asked me to fill this place-"

"If you don't motherfucking kiss already I will drag you down!"

Jake was looking like he was ready to pull his gun out on the kid but he stopped himself. His hand clenched into fists when the kid continued.

"Tell them to hurry up I wanna get my kiss too!"

"Oh, for fucks sake. Come here." Jake gritted out and with a rough tug at my collar, Jake brought his face closer to a stunned me before pressing our lips together.

I stayed stock still, too shocked to move away. I was sitting there on the seat with my body rigid.

What.

I am being kissed by Jake.

Oh my fucking god!

Push him away, Mc! What the fuc-

But my body seemed to ignore my brain's wishes. I closed my eyes and carefully parted my lips, relaxing into his kiss.

This is so so wrong. But I liked it too much to stop it.

.

Jake focus.

.

I'm not supposed to be doing this. Oh my god, what am I doing? Ths is so messed up.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Despite my thoughts, I delved deeper into the kiss which started as a firm press and changed into a softer, deeper kiss. A change was done by me. What the fuck I am doing? But fuck godamn, Mc's lips are the softest I've ever experienced, and no matter what my brain tells me. I can't pull away.

"Fucking finally. It wasn't that hard you loser!" The shit kid yelled again, catching our attention and causing me abruptly pull away from Mc. The shit boy's irritating voice acted as a bucket of ice-cold water, shocking me awake from my and Mc's little moment.

We broke away but our heads were tilted with our foreheads resting against each other. We were breathing heavily, it was only a ten-second kiss. A ten-second kiss rendered me and her breathless somehow, our chests were heaving, and lips parting slowly.

I stared into her eyes with an unreadable expression. She was staring into my blue eyes with an unreadable expression as well.

"Oh my god." She gasped suddenly, pushing herself back in her chair and slapping both palms over her mouth. I am myself was shocked at my own actions. I wanted to slap my hands over my mouth as well and run away as far away from Mc because just looking at her lips makes me wanna- I saved myself by playing it off casually, putting on a cool calm facade in front of freaking out Mc.

"Well, that's two things crossed off the bucket list. Even if I wasn't the person you wanted to kiss." I muttered nonchalantly, wiping my lips with the back of my shaky hand. I stood up and quietly cleared my throat before reaching out to grab the plushie. I looked over my shoulder, raising an eyebrow at Mc who refused to move a muscle.

"Well, are you gonna move, or do you wanna have another round with that whiny shit? I saw he requested french kissing." I addee, smiling humourlessly.

Mc held her breath, slowly rising from her chair. She gulped several times. Timidly following after me.

~

Now, Mc was curled up against the train window, her knees were drawn to her chest in a protective stance and her red face was buried low in her hoodie, hiding away from the public.

I was sitting two seats down from her, my body was hunched forward and stiff. I hadn't moved from this position in at least ten minutes. I turned my face away face. The tips of my ears were a prominent shade of red.

On the half-full train, people chattered about random things. Mc and I hadn't exchanged glances or words with each other. We both were blushing and shocked or freaking out too much to look at each other.

Jake, what the fuck did you just do?

Why? Why you kissed her? To get that kid to shut up? No, that's not it and you know it. So then why did you kiss her?

I didn't think straight. That kid was yelling at me, Mc's face was exposed to the whole town and the previous stress of trying to find Mc made me do it. Yeah. all that and maybe because just wanted to do it. I wanted to do it for a long time.

I changed my posture, straightening up and leaning against my chair with my back cracking in protest. I rested my head against the seat's headrest and stared up at the faded red light fixtured of the train.

Mc's lips were surprisingly soft. They were not tacky with glossy lipstick, and they were not chapped and bleeding. I coughed loudly. What the hell? You're out here daydreaming about her lips for fucks sake when you're meant to be finding ways to get her to a safe place. Away from Richy. But her lips were so damn soft and plump.

I tilted my head to the right to look over at Mc's huddled figure. I watched her lift a shy sweater paw to her lips, prodding her lower lip with her index finger thoughtfully. Mc's cheeks bloomed red soon afterward.

She's cute as fuck. Damn.

I hastily tilted my head back to stare up at the light fixtures, gulping hard. I dropped my gaze from the ceiling and stared at the window.

I think- I fall in love with her harder each time she flashes me a smile.

.

Mc focus.

.

Oh my god.

I subconsciously lift a hand to my lips, touching my ower lip with a finger. Did I just had first kiss with Jake like that? Just like that we kissed infront of the people?

I hurriedly dropped my hand from my lips when he caught the sight of my reflection in the train's window and realized how weird I look. But wow. I remember his lips firmly pressed against  mine and it felt so good...So damm percent. I felt my cheeks glow hard.

My breath got caught in my throat when I remembered the texts I'd texted him. The thing about our kiss and how the world would disappear around us. And goddamn it disappeared. It was just me and him.

I knew that I won't experience this type of feeling again when Jake decide to tell me the truth. Maybe he doesn't love me anymore but I don't care. I wanna hold on to this feeling for as long as possible. The feeling of having him around, the feeling of his touch, the feeling of his caring side. The feeling of-

"Excuse me, but could you move your plushie? It's yours right?" A girl questioned, pointing a manicured finger in plushies direction. I nodded, mumbling a quiet sorry before pulling the plushie onto my lap, a little fazed.

Once the girl sat down, my mind wandered off again. Wandered right back to the kiss booth where I was sitting in front of Jake, letting the kiss take the breath away from my lungs. Immediately the image sank in and I found myself pushing my face against my plushie, muffling a squeal in the object. The girl glanced at me concerned, but I didn't care.

It was really nice. I smiled widely looking at the distance. Kissing Jake was really nice. Blushing, I wrapped my arms around the plushie's stomach, hugging the toy hard as I was looking out of the window at the fleeting scenery outside. Just when I thought I couldn't fall harder for Jake, I fell harder.

.

Jake focus.

.

Five minutes later, my phone vibrated against my thigh, startling me out of my dizzying array of thoughts. Sighing I lifted my phone up and without bothering to look at the notification displayed on the screen, I swiped my thumb across the glass, unlocking it before waiting for the messages to load.

My face broke out into an immediate grin as I read the message. It was automated messages sent in coarse slang and accompanied by an excessive amount of emojis because they were used to throw off the police.

U: 18+ !6!6!9

U: mEgA rAcE tAkiNg plAcE. BroOm bitches$$$

U: ITs goNnA bE BiG moTheRfUckeRs.

U: nO.1 rA$er "S" iS attending.

U: sO cOmE hErE bABY tO yOur favOriTe ra$er.

U: Do not reply to this message.

I beamed at the messages, smiling particularly hard at a specific name embedded in the text. "S"

Can't wait to meet you again.

.

Richy focus.

.

Ikari squealed excitedly, clapping her hands as she studied herself in the full-length mirror.

"I think this is the one, it suits my body type perfectly, right?" She smirked, looking over her shoulder at me sitting on the black couch. She quirked an eyebrow at me, waiting for the answer. But I didn't care about the way she looked. I was just too relaxed sitting there on the couch, smoking the last of my cigarette whilst staring dully into the distance. Where is she?

She pouted at me, making her way toward me and hopping on my lap with her hands wrapped around my neck.

"I didn't move on from Jake just for you to stare blankly in the distance when I'm talking to you." Ikari muttered, bending down to become level with my face. I looked up at her with my eyes lidded with boredom.

"I was thinking about something. I'm much better than Jake." I retorted, unimpressed. "Put some damn clothes on, Ikari. Not in the mood to play right now."

"Oh? You should think only about me." She giggled, pulling away and standing tall over me. I rolled my eyes at her and sighed. "And." She added, smiling pulling her dress off, letting it reveal her new lingerie. Transparent black playboy lingerie that was proudly on her body.

"You love me in lingerie, especially black lingerie, Richy or should we play roleplay where I call you the man without a face hm?" She tilted her head coyly, red hair falling to the side with some strands effortlessly brushing across her face. Her red lips formed into a smirk when she noticed my reaction.

I reached out and grabbed her waist, tugging her hard making Ikari stumble forward onto my lap again. Her little smirk got bigger but dear she doesn't know I'm only using her for now. Once I will find Mc everything will be over.

"Call me the man without a face. It turns me on." I warned running my hands up her smooth thighs. Ikari just simply laughed, a light tinkled in her eyes. "I will show you how good I can be. Better than the nerdy loser who was all over you."

"Whatever you say, Richy-" Ikari was abruptly cut off by the sound of my mobile vibrating against the leather of the couch. Before I could reach over for my mobile phone, Ikari snatched it up quickly, reading the notification with a curious look in her eyes. I stifled my annoyance at the action and instead focused on her thighs, rubbing and squeezing them slowly.

"Oh, There's another race taking place." Ikari read the texts as I was tugging at her lingerie lazily. "Are you going to go?" She asked, looking up at me with her pretty hazel eyes.

"Yeah, I guess," I murmured, finally having enough of my cigarette I stubbed the thin stick against the couch's leather armchair. Mc was supposed to stay with her friends but I guess Jake got involved in it. I will fuck him up. Just because he's not so nerdy anymore it doesn't mean he can win the fight.

"Now shut the fuck up and deal with what you started," I answered with the corner of my mouth pulled upwards, yanking my phone out of her grip and pushing the device aside. Ikari obliged, grinning as she rocked her hips against me.

"If you're going, I'm coming along. I'm sure Jake is gonna be there to cheer for that annoying racer. What was his name? Sam? Whatever, I wanna see how he's getting along without me." She muttered, smirking slowly. "I bet he's in shit condition, he couldn't live without me for more than a second so I wonder how he is now. Probably alone, crying about me." She commented dryly whilst running her hands over my torso.

"Yeah, can we not talk about him when I'm trying to fuck you?" I murmured, snaking my palms under her lingerie with great intent to touch her warm skin.

"Of course, my bad baby." She chuckled, slipping her dress off of her shoulders, letting the thin dress easily fall to the floor.

[sanfezu]

Hey there I saw your diary entry about your exams and I wanted to tell you that you're gonna be okay. It might not feel that way right now bc exams are a bitch and they have a way of making you feel like your lungs gonna implode from stress but you gonna be okay. Even if you feel like you're ill prepared your mind can retain a lot of info and your muscle memory will get you through whatever is ahead. A few weeks from now you will look back to these exams and huff with amusement it will be behind you and sou will be fine. You can do this and you will do this.

Side note, and feel free to disregard bc you did not ask for advice I know and you might know this trick already but if you don't it helped me a ton with my own crippling exam phobia: When the panics become too big and choke you, when your thoughts spiral too deep into omg I cannot survive this shit - drink water, in small sips, in between each sip count up or down to 20. Swallowing is a reflex controlled by your hindbrain like blinking and breathing and stuff doing it deliberately and slow takes up some bandwith and counting in between activates the logical/mathematical half of your brain. Tagteaming both parts deliberately can cut through some of the panics bc our brains are not that good at multi tasking you can't sip water and think numbers and also lets panic thoughts go wild on top of that. It will not make the panic go away completely but it will give you a reprive and disrupt the spiral in a pinch. Soft reset so to speak. It can help.

Either way, you got this. You will survive this. Only a few pushes left and then you can go home and lie down on the floor or whatever but you gonna get through this and you gonna be fine.

Oh, hello. I just came back from the college. It… well, turned out well? I mean, I got “4” (good) for the first exam, and hopefully at least “3” (satisfactory) for the second one… Thank you very very much for your kind words. Really, that means a lot!💜

I’ll try to remember your advice! I didn’t know that. In general, I’m… okay with advices, I think? So… uh… yeah, I’m okay with them, don’t worry. Thank you very much!💜

Then again, thank you very much, Anon, that means a lot to me, you’re so nice💜💜💜

Thank you 🙏

[imflevrett]

The prospect of Glorfindel appearing in The Rings of Power

Well "It was evening, there was nothing to do". I just want to express my feelings and opinion, rather for myself, nothing more. I'm not trying to offend anyone.

I really love this character, so after watching the ROP, I realized that I don't want to see his interpretation from Amazon, even though I realize that ROP is more of a big AU of the Tolkien universe due to their situation with the lack of rights to the Silmarillion, as a result of which the entire main layer of the world is removed and changed the second era in every way in the ROP – the storylines, the characters' characters, their history and, apparently, the appearance and characteristics of the races too (?)– in general, the free interpretation of Amazon, with maintaining the basic idea of creations the rings; the most expensive AU fanfic I saw in my life (fanfiction is not an insult, I favor fanfiction, so, it's not bad, it's just that this particular one didn't go very well for me, although the views of the places were beautiful).

Well, after what they did with the character design of Finrod in ROP (no complaints to the actor, only the design), I'm afraid of what they might do with Glorfindel, If they put him on the show in the future.

It would be better if he wasn't in the show at all, than to see him without his light, possibly played by a man at an advanced age (even if he is a great actor), despite the fact that Laurefinde is an elf (well, I won’t be surprised, there is a precedent, and please don't confuse this with some kind of disdain for old age or something like that – I like grandpas in movies, look at my avatar; no, this is a simple and understandable desire to see Tolkien's believable elves {not some Terrence Brooks elves} on the screen – a representative of ANOTHER race that doesn't age – I noticed Tolkien’s elves race attribute, such as not aging {unless you have reached the age of Cirdan the Shipwright and at the same time didn't live in Valinor} began to be ignored in ROP}, or/and than see him with a very short fashionable haircut or some kind of haircut under 0 with shaved temples (whereas his golden flowing hair is glorified by almost all Arda and he literally radiates power and shining after resurrection)

Also I don't want to see how Glorfindel is shown with a complete disregard for his past with the exodus of the Noldor, life in Gondolin, with his self-sacrifice, incarnation in the West, due to the fact that they don't have rights to the Silmarillion and they cannot reveal all this (like with the replacement of the impressive death of Finrod, again due to the lack of rights to use the Beren and Luthien story and Silmarills), even a small part.

if all of the above happens and without the main part of his past, or his past will be changed (who knows, everything is possible here), the character will not be Glorfindel, but simply an original character (OC) with the same name.

As it happened, for example, with Celebrimbor – the actor played well, but the character is perceived as a very old elve, with a similar name, close in age to Cirdan the Shipwright, but still without a beard, having good skill in blacksmithing and ambition, and since the Silmarillion is not in this universe with its time frame and the history of the Celebrimbor's family, with kinslaying and Silmarills, with all of his past, then it's possible to imagine this is the way it is; and therefore he turned out to be a good original character for the story.

But still, about Glorfindel – even in AU, it is better, only in my opinion, then not to introduce him at all, than if they break the character in order to shove him into the series, or get another OC, even a good one (of course, unless a miracle happens and they make every effort to make Glorfindel as close to the book as possible). I know that most likely he will be introduced into the series, whether I want it or not.

Again, I repeat, I just wanted to express my opinion and desire, if someone doesn't agree with this, or someone didn't like it at all, it's okay, this is how different opinions work.

[mercyraph]

Okay time for Bad Dad rankings according to me (MCU) (it's just the avengers, Gotg, and black widow film.)

1. Alexei. (Dad guy of Natasha and Yelena)

-I don't think I have to explain this but I will anyway.

-This guy concsiously made the decision to put his very very young adoptive-ish daughters in the red room. You know, the one who trains kid assasins and then like inevitably kills them if they fail, pit them against each other? Yeah.

-also fuck you alexei that's human trafficking.

2. 0d*n

-like come on who the fuck steals a child and then makes them hate their existence??

-Bitch ass lying ass bitch.

-He had 3 chances I don't know how he managed to fuck that up

-"oh but look at thor, he's always happy, and he's good." First of all, Thor is only good because earthlings taught him better shit than 0d*n. Second of all, he's always happy, and you don't find it concerning at all??

-thor turned out to be the depressed kid who wants to fight every mild inconvenience.

3. Ego

-okay now, him, U don't personally know. But if you're going to use your kid, you could at least not kill their mom yk?? That was a dick move

4. Thanos

-Now I know what you might be thinking, "why isn't he the top 1, he tried to murder half the universe blah blah blah," I Don't Care. Thanos by far showed the most care for his children.

-did he turn them into assasins? Yes. Did he pit them against each other in order to strengthen them? Also yes. But you have to admit, he cared about eacb and every stray child he got (disregarding of course the possibility that he mind whammied loki and tortured him)

-like he has different beliefs than everyone else that made him a bad father, but essentially it didn't make him like love them less. He just kinda loved the balance of the universe more.

-also there's something with the way he talks that's so...placating(?). Like when Ebony didn't show up, it wasn't like anger that he failed, it was mostly disappointment. Like the kind you get when you feel like you failed someone because they failed? Also whenever he speaks to anyone he sounds so peaceful idk.

5. That guy with the rings???

-like man why you blaming your child???

-also abuse???

-also hating your kids especially girly with the bangs???

6. Howard mf Stark.

-now here's the thing. I genuinely believe that Howard was neglectful but he was in no way abusive.

-I believe that Mr. Jarvis would most definitely not stand for the abuse of anyone in the Stark Manor. As does Peggy Carter.

-But He is neglectful. Just the company, SHIELD, shmaptain shamerica, everything, he completely forgets to prioritize his family.

-but I also believe that he greatly values the Stark name. Not in the sense that, "behave, do not sully my household name." But like, "this is my household name that I built from the ground up. Now that you have become part of it, there is nothing you can do to tarnish it. Be free, be gay, do crimes"

-like obviously not treason but like if Tony was ever like has disabilities or something about his Sexuality or gender identity, he'd do absolutely everything so that no one has anything bad to say about it.

-Not to say he will accept it (it's honestly this or that) but he won't allow anyone disrespecting a Stark.

-I just get the vibe that even if he was not a good father, he will make the Stark name impossibly unreachable, untouchable, no matter the circumstances. Like he'd be too focused on that to be homophobic or transphobic.

-like let's say ftm!tony, and he walks in on him trying Howard's old suit which are like sized bigger than him. He'd probably forget that tony was afab and be like, "This is not going to work, we're going to the tailor. I can't have people seeing you dressed like you got that from a thrift shop." Or like, "Why are you so skinny? Do you even work-out, boy? Drop and give 50, now."

(Please know that this would be entirely different had he been abusing. He's be in 1st place)

Anyway. Thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[shiny-jr]

Hi there! First off you're writing is amazing and congrats on close to 2,000. Can I request "hit me you'll feel better" with kalim? Feel free to disregard. Again congrats you deserve it 🤗

Warning: Yandere thing. Gender-neutral reader.

Characters: Kalim Al-Asim.

Note: Thank you so much, anon! I saw the quote and realized, yeah that kinda fits Kalim. Just imagine he's so obsessed with trying to please his s/o, but he's at such a loss because they don't seem happy with his countless gifts, he just doesn’t know what else to do. Just thoughts. Also, I wrote this one kind of in the setting after the imposter AU, just a heads up. 

Quote: "Hit me. You’ll feel better.”

Kalim was at a complete loss, he just wasn’t sure what to do. 

He knew, he knew that what they did to you was unforgivable. If you weren’t so busy with the others and took more notice of him, you would have seen the huge tears rolling down the cheeks as he sobbed. They hurt you, he didn’t help you–– Although you were softer on him since he never once ever made the effort to harm you. Even so, Kalim still felt partially responsible for the whole thing. If he had just noticed, just recognized your wonderful beautiful amazing presence, things would have been so much different! 

The Scarabia dorm leader always attempts to make up for his mistakes. Every waking second he’s trying to find the best ways to appeal to you, to be back in your good graces again. Every day means at least ten new gifts, and Kalim spares no expense. Ah, player, there you are! He missed you so much (you saw him yesterday)! He noticed you staring at his armband, so he bought you one to match and it’s pure gold! Yesterday you said you had no breakfast plans, so he had an entire feast catered to your liking this morning so eat up! Oh, and sometime ago you said his eyes reminded you of red gems, so he wants to give you this huge ruby! What’s wrong?? Is that not enough? Don’t worry, he can give you more! 

No matter what he did, nothing ever seemed to work. No matter how hard he tried, nothing seemed to sway you, you remained constantly on edge and cautious around them, around him. First he tried with the lavish gifts but after only a few days you began to insist that you didn’t need them. Then he tried with physical affection, eagerly offering hugs and dances, but to no avail. Followed by acts of service like offering to listen to you or help with classes (even if he wasn’t good at them), eventually he used true compliments that praised your very being and every quality as he admitted how precious you were to him. Even that didn’t seem to work, as you only ever mustered a small smile at him very rarely. Was he doing something wrong or... were you still mad at him? That had to be it...! You were still mad at him for everything before–– 

He didn’t know how else to make up for mistakes, except to grovel and apologize once again this time when he had your full attention. What a sight to see: the heir of one of the most powerful families in all of Twisted Wonderland, crying and falling to his knees before you as he begged for forgiveness. Kalim clutched anything he could grab on you, whether it be your limbs or part of your clothing, and he held on for dear life as he wept so loudly and pleaded desperately, 

“I-I’m sorry...! I’m so sorry...! What do I have to do f-for you to forgive me? P-Please, I’ll do anything! Ah–– Hit me as many times as you want...! Hit me, it’ll make you feel better...!!”

[m-u-g-i]

Only You (Pt. 2)

Modern Day Sukuna X Plus-Size Female Reader

Special Tags: @jspenft @plussizeficchick

(Sorry for the late update. I just wanted to make sure it was at least a bit better compared to Part 1, so I kind of took my time with it, but also rushed, if that made sense. Hopefully, you guys like it! Let me know! 😅)

Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 3

Genre: Angst to Fluff ( + a bonus surprise ending)

Summary: Things with your new boyfriend have been quite blissful, to say the least. However, due to the foreign experience of being in a healthy relationship, Sukuna's old habits from previous experiences have proven to become quite the obstacle. You, on the other hand, were not hesitant to help him see it through. As heartbreaking as it may be to witness, you're willing to help and guide him through anything he may need help on. Yet, not everything will go according to plan.

NOTE: The following contains mentions of abuse, violence, mental instability, and vulgar language. Please keep in mind this is all for entertainment purposes and the circumstances of the following are purely fiction. The author refuses liability of any offense, so please feel free to exit if you're sensitive towards any of the said topics.

"Bubs, do I have to?"

"Ah! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I take it back!"

"Why are you so beautiful?"

Every moment with this man resulted into numerous lost brain cells, but a new pleasurable swelling of the heart.

~~~~~~~~~~

It had been almost 7 months since the establishment of your relationship with the supposedly playboy of the entire campus, Ryomen Sukuna.

Of course, those around you--more like the entire campus-- murmured and gossip about the various possibilities of abuse, heartbreak, and you know, the usual. Luckily, your boyfriend and yourself paid no mind to such. Immune to such reactions and treatment, it came as second nature to Sukuna to ignore the negative comments. However, the constant unwanted attention and scrunched expressions had him worry for your wellbeing. Only then did you reassure him that you didn't care for their input.

He was your safe place and as long as he was there, you could care less, not that you honestly cared to begin with.

The process of the relationship remained unhurried since the term "healthy relationship" had been foreign for both parties, let alone the experience. Being understanding of one another, it was as if walking on eggshells when near each other. The past few months had only consisted of café dates, shopping, late night, and domestic dates, such as watching movies, cooking, or playing video games. With skinship, it never crossed hand-holding, couch cuddles, passionate kisses and pecks, and hugs.

Timid of intimacy--romantically, not sexually--it proved to be difficult to truly communicate with one another. In fact, the shock of your established romance with each other completely disregarded the thought of discussing boundaries, preferences, rules and similar topics. Believing certain boundaries were a given, the two of you were able to manage to go about your relationship somewhat comfortably, but it's only a matter of time before a line is accidentally crossed.

~~~~~~~~~~

5:50 pm struck the clock as Mr. Shimizu continued to hand you snack after snack, ignoring your statements of refusal.

"Dad, it's alright. Really. You don't need to do this. I'm just glad Mom is doing well and you returned safely."

"No, please. The least I can do is give you something to take home," your boss insisted.

"Besides, I know you're probably going to visit young Ryomen after this, so you can share some snacks with him. Oh! Stay right here!"

You chuckle seeing this adorable old man run to the back room.

Mr. Shimizu, your manager, had been such a sweet man since you applied for the job in high school. He had witnessed you go through a variety of toxic relationships and family issues, but had always been there to help whenever you needed it from free food to providing you free holidays to a place to stay, even.

A true father figure, you must say.

In fact, you ended up identifying him and his wife as your parents since they've been the only true parental figures throughout your lifetime, so you can imagine the joy in his face when he saw how well Sukuna treated you.

Your old man wanted to apologize for keeping you later than usual, since your shift usually ends at 4 pm. The next worker doesn't come in until 6, so he would fill in until then. You've gone overtime both voluntarily and involuntarily before, not necessarily just for the pay, but you worried for Mr. Shimizu.

Though he's a lovely soul and you loved working for him, he is an old man and as of recently, his wife had been admitted in the hospital. While being her caretaker, he wouldn't have been able to return until around 5:30 pm, but the hospital his wife is located is a 20-minute drive away from the convenience store. There, he had asked if you could go overtime until he returned.

How could you refuse your kind-hearted boss?

He came back out with a plastic bag and a bunch of foreign snacks in hand.

"These were imported from Korea and America. Knowing both of your favorites, I thought you guys might enjoy it."

The food varied from unfamiliar flavors and brands of ramen, chips, beverages, ice cream and so on. He placed all of your favorite snacks with the imported ones into the bag.

You held his wrinkled hand with both of your hands before bowing at a 90 degree angle.

"Thank you very much, Mr. Shimizu," you thanked.

He lightly smacks your head.

"What happened to 'Dad', huh?"

You laugh at his antics before correcting yourself.

"I'm sorry. Thank you, Dad," you teased.

"Much better," he sighs with a smile.

His eyes crinkle so adorably, providing you with free serotonin. You chuckle at his goofy little grin.

"Sometimes, I wish you were our child, Y/N. We'd probably spoil you rotten."

"You already do, Dad, but I don't want it to seem as if I'm in it for the free snacks," you nervously chuckled.

"Nonsense. You and Ryomen are too good of kids to do such things. Besides, you both deserve it. Now, go. Send him my regards and let him know Mom is very grateful for the knitting kit. She loves it."

"Is that so? That's good. I'll let him know. Thanks again, Dad," you softly say before giving him a farewell hug.

"I'll see you later. Tell Mom we'll come to visit her soon."

"Will do. Be safe, Y/N-san."

"Mm!"

You wave farewell, making way to Sukuna's apartment with the grocery bag in hand.

Thankfully, the distance to his apartment from your work place could easily be reached by foot. Within 10 minutes, you arrived at the apartment complex, going to the 5th floor to which he was located.

Majority of the domestic dates would take place at his apartment, mainly since it would allow him the privilege of driving you home afterwards. Simp.

Anyways, you finally arrived at his door, knocking on it with a familiar rhythm.

"Ryo-kun. Dad gave us our favorites. He even got us new snacks to try," you say through the thin door.

Moments passed as there was no answer.

You tilted your head, baffled before you knocked once more with more volume.

"Ryo-kun? Are you there?"

No answer.

With a swift motion, you took ahold of your phone to call the male, in case he went elsewhere. After a few rings, you could hear his loud, catchy ring tone ringing on the other side of the door. Hearing the tune indicated a hint of him possibly being inside.

'Maybe he's in the restroom' you think to yourself.

Before you could shift yourself to retreat back home, the tremendous sound of shattering glass echoed through the board of wood separating his abode to the hallway you stood in.

Absolute terror pierced your heart the moment the shattering entered your ears. Immediately, you burst the door open, only to be welcomed by emptiness. The living room with the attached kitchen was left impressively neat and organized, but held no sight of him. In a panic, you call out to him, dropping the bag of goods.

"Ryo-kun?! Are you alright?! Are you home?!"

Instinctively, your feet made their way to his bedroom door, closed. Almost busting open the door, you encounter such a heart wrenching sight. A mirror-wall completely demolished with shards, variant in size, decorating a decent portion of his bedroom floor. Fortunately, the floor was tiled, therefore, there would be less difficulty with the cleaning.

However, with the entirety of his left side laying on the glass, there laid your beloved, breathing heavily, borderline hyperventilating. His clothes and hair were very disheveled and somewhat bloodied from the contact with the sharp objects. His body visibly trembled violently and terror decorated his face so pitifully. Tears steamed down his cheeks as he curled into a ball and mumbled absolute nonsense while clenching his fists. At that very moment, you came to a quick realization.

He was having a panic attack.

Mind you, this wasn't the first time you had seen him experience such events, however, this particular day seemed incredibly more intense and dare you say, the most horrific compared to past experiences.

The usual attacks involved tears and hyperventilating, but they were quick to end once he was in your embrace and his mind was able to process your comforting words. Though some quicker than others, you've never seen one at this extent.

Terror painted your expression so vividly as you feast your eyes upon the blood run down his fingers and knuckles with shards sticking to the skin. The pattern of the cracks in the mirror indicated he must've purposely hit it, but the reason as to why he'd do that remained unknown. Though you felt urgent to do so, you managed to restrain yourself from allowing your own emotions interfere in this event.

Without a thought in your mind, you kneeled before him, caressing his sweet face that became ruined by the salty tears streaming down his beautiful ruby eyes.

"Ryo-kun, baby. Hey, hey, hey," you whisper.

"I'm here, baby. I'm right here."

It took some time, but eventually, as your calling to him continued, his blank stare began to gain light and color as it shifted to your direction. You smile, endearingly, rubbing his cheek with your thumb, attempting to hide the excruciating pain intensifying within you.

"B-Bubba?" He mutters, weakly.

"Hey, there you are. It's me, love. Come on, sit up for me."

You sit him up slowly, fearful of possible wounds caused by the mirror shards. His body stayed persistent in its severe trembling and hyperventilating. Tears continued to cascade down his plump cheeks as his eyes began to swell, yet his expression remained blank and almost dead. How your heart shattered seeing him in such a state. You caressed his face, directing his attention to you.

"Baby, I'm here now. Breathe for me. Breathe."

Emphasizing your breathing pattern, you helped guide him through his breathing, calming it to a decent stability. Though a few a hiccups were made, you could tell he was much calmer than before and his once absent mind finally became present.

"Well done, baby. Remember, it's not real, okay? It's all fake. Just focus on being here with me. Name three things you see in your room for me."

His weary eyes began to wander around the room.

"C-Clock," he whispered with a raspy tone.

"Good, good. What else?"

"U-Uh, b-bed."

"Very good, love. One more for me."

His attention fell on you.

"Y-You. M-My baby," he states with slight more volume.

You nod with such a broken grin as your tears threatened to fall, yet you managed to resist.

"That's right. I'm your baby. Good job, love. Now, Ryo-kun, are you with me?" You ask, almost in a whisper.

He weakly nods while he sniffles and allows a few more tears to spill, to which you instantly wiped away.

"Do you mind telling me what happened, baby? What's going on? I'm not going to push you, bub. I just want to make sure you're taken care of."

You lovingly rub your thumb against his cheek, attempting to help him find comfort in your touch. He subconsciously leaned into the sweet caress of your palm with a light peck.

"I-I, uh, I saw her again," he managed to confess.

Red.

That's all that filed your vision at that moment.

Your affectionate aura hardened into complete rage thinking of that woman once more. You had to repeatedly remind yourself to reassure and care for your lover before you're able to fulfill your blood lust. With teeth gritted, jaw tightened, and breaths sharpened, you held his bloodied hands softly, contrasting from the visible fury inflamed within you.

"What happened, love?" You questioned with venom subtly dripping from your tone.

"Don't worry, she didn't do anything. Well, not that she could anyway," he almost mumbled, while looking down.

Your head tilted, baffled.

"What do you mean, bub?"

"I was at the, uh, the mall with Satoru and Suguru. We were just hanging out, you know, shopping, eating, that kind of stuff. And then, we came across her near the store we were shopping in. I'm not sure if she saw us since everything that followed was all a blur, but all I remembered was freaking out and running back home."

With his eyes remaining towards the floor, his voice began to crack recalling the scene, but he inhaled a deep yet sharp breath before continuing.

"I-I came home a-and everything felt dizzy and loopy. I-I looked in the mirror a-and.....and....a-and," he stuttered.

He looks at you with such agony and horror as sobs and tears were all that were present on his face.

"I thought she came back for me, so I j-just-- I went crazy, Y/N."

The volume of his sobs increased to which you were quick to embrace him with his head in your chest. You could've cared less about the shards piercing through your knees. No amount of pain could ever compare to witnessing your lover break down. His cries were slightly muffled into your chest while he tried to finish his statement.

"Her v-voice is so vivid in my head. It keeps telling me that I'm worthless. That I'm some worthless pig. She even threatened to hurt you! I can't get it to stop! I don't know what to do, Y/N!"

The escalation of his voice neither scared nor bothered you. It just showed the traumatic impact of his past relationships, but you felt a slight bliss at his ability to display his vulnerability to you, although you'd give your own life to take away his pain. He curls into your chest, hands clutching unto the fabric near the area, finding comfort in your embrace.

"I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, my love. You didn't sign up for this," he sobbed.

With a gentle motion, you lifted his chin to passionately kiss his chapped lips. Still sobbing, he responded back to the kiss before you pulled away moments after. Unable to contain it any longer, droplets of water fell from your eyes, surprising the male before you. Your gaze intensified as a smile fell upon your face.

"You're so beautiful, Ryomen-kun," you whispered. "So, so pretty."

You peck his forehead before retreating back to his ruby eyes, your smile unwavering.

"I didn't ask for what I was signing up for. I honestly don't care what this package has in store. As long as it is my Ryomen, I'd be in Heaven," you state softly as your tears fell faster and more frequently.

His heart clenched at the sight of your broken smile plastered on your face as your fat tears spewed similarly to waterfalls.

"Y/N."

"Ryo-kun, you need to learn to stop apologizing for being human. Scenes, anxiety, panic, as scary as they may seem, do not forget that it's normal. It's what makes us human. Being human sucks, I get it, but I'll be here to help you through it all. Besides, the fact you let me be with you and help you through this is truly admirable on your part, Ryo-kun."

This time, a peck was given on his nose and both of his cheeks before your foreheads were conjoined with your palm still against his cheek.

"Remember, you're mine and I'm yours. Your problems are my problems, your pain is my pain. And I've told you once before, this is all about helping you establish your own self-worth and I promised to help you through it, no matter what. I'm not going anywhere and if she wants a fight, I'll give her one. You saw us the first time, she ain't gon' do anything."

A chuckle left his mouth along with a charming smile as he gently places his palm against the backhand of your own that is caressing his cheek.

"Thank you, bubs. I don't know what I'd do without you," he says with love pouring out with every word spoken.

"I could say the same, love."

Sharing one last embrace, you sealed the conclusion of this panic with a loving kiss.

"Here, I'll help you clean up."

Placing his non-bleeding arm around your shoulders, you lifted him up gently, though he struggled due to the immense pain finally seeping throughout his body. Groans, moans, hisses, grumbles, those were the only sounds leaving his lips. Carefully yet swiftly, you used all the strength you could physically muster up to bring him to his bathroom.

Slowly placing him on the toilet, you take a minute to truly analyze your lover. Glass pierced along the side his left arm and leg with a bit on his feet, scalp and hair colored red, knuckles bleeding profusely and eyes overly swollen from intense crying.

'My baby, what has she done to you?' You thought to yourself.

Your palms found his face once as he leaned into the touch, relaxing at the soft contact against his dry skin.

"Baby, I'm going to be taking care of you, alright? That includes bathing you. But, I do not want to cross any lines. If you would rather bathe yourself, that's fi--"

"It's alright, bubba. I trust you. Plus, I don't think I'm in the right condition to do anything," he softly states with a small smile.

Boom, putty. This man never fails to make your heart melt with glee. Him trusting you in whatever you do with him is definitely a trait you probably won't be able to be immune to.

"A-Alright, I'm going to start by undressing you, okay? Let me know if anything hurts or is making you uncomfortable," you stuttered with a deep blush.

The male chuckles almost smugly at your rosy, puffed cheeks, but it was quickly replaced with a flinch once you started to pull his shirt off.

"U-Ugh!"

"Sorry! Do you want me to stop?" You frantically ask, worry obviously shown in your expression and tone.

"I'm alright, bubba. You can keep going. I just got thrown off-guard."

He managed to flash a slight smile and though hesitant, you proceeded with your task, still concerned about his pain. Once his shirt was off, there were fewer shards attached to him, yet the bleeding from such continued to flow. Thankfully, majority of the bleeding stopped, it was just a few droplets remained and continued to flow.

Similarly, once pulling down his sweatpants, a few groans and moans escaped his lips with your songs of apologies following after. Finally off, there was also a decrease of shards piercing his flesh along his left leg. Fortunately, the bleeding in his leg stopped, so less worry there. Only left in his boxers, your fended off to search for his first aid kit which was located in one of his top drawers in the kitchen.

Returning back, you brought a chair to sit in front of the injured male along with the first aid kit. Sitting the kit on the sink, you immediately set the trash can next to your seat before searching inside the container for gauzes and tweezers. You brought out your leather wallet.

"I'm going to start taking the glass out, but I don't know how painful it may be. Do you want to bite on this for assistance with the pain, just to be safe, or do you want to tough it out?" You ask, waving your wallet in front of him.

"Uh, I'll try to tough it out, but if I can't, I'll take the wallet."

"Got it. Just let me know."

Ever so gently, you began to pick the biggest shards off his body, disposing them inside the trash can. He flinched and hissed multiple times, but by his words, key words: his words, he could handle it. Bit by bit, the amount of shards began to decrease.

"Dad says hi and Mom says thanks for the knitting kit. Dad said she loved it," you state, striking up conversation to distract him.

"I'm glad she liked it. I want to go see her again."

"I was planning this weekend since we're both off work and we don't have school. Unless you have plans with the guys."

"Nope. And even if we did, I'd much rather see Mom."

You laugh seeing the irritation in your boyfriend's face, thinking about those two idiots. You were close to ask him about the mall, but after the event that just took place earlier, you bit back your tongue.

It took some time, but you finally managed to get all the glass out of his body. Leaning back to look at him, you realized the coat of sweat covering his body from the strain of enduring the pain. Poor thing was exhausted.

"Alright, all done. Luckily, your wounds are nothing serious. Just a few cuts and bruises. All we need to do is apply alcohol before wrappi--"

"No!" He shouted.

You jolted at the sudden outburst.

"U-Uh, sorry. I just," he sighs. "I despise rubbing alcohol. It hurts like a b*tch."

You sigh in relief as you giggle at his childish behavior, but he wasn't wrong. It's excruciating painful, so you couldn't necessarily blame him. However, you refuse to allow his wounds to be left improperly treated.

"I understand, baby, but I don't want any infections in your cuts. Maybe this time, you may need to use the wallet."

Returning back into the kit, you searched for the rubbing alcohol. After a thorough analysis, there seemed to be no rubbing alcohol.

"Hmm, there's none."

"Yes! Uh, I-I mean, aw, shucks," he lies.

"Hold on now, Mr. Wussycat. I'm just going to get some at the store. You can sit in the bath and clean yourself while waiting until I get back. In case your bath finishes before I get home, make sure to lay on a fresh towel on the bed. That way, when I come back, I can just apply the alcohol and bandage it up. Got it?"

He groans in complaint, but gives in.

"Fine," he pouts.

With a chuckle, you land a peck on lips and began to run his bath. You tried to dial back on the soap, considering the various wounds. Once the water filled the tub, you applied the soap before swishing the water to create suds. With a decent amount of suds displayed, you set the soap beside the tub in case the suds aren't to his preference. Sukuna managed to remove his boxers independently, though it was quite the task to do so.

Lifting him up slowly and cautiously, you sat him into the water at the exact same pace.

"There you go. Now, I'm going to head to store and once we get those wounds treated, we can eat the food I brought."

"You brought food?!" He exclaimed with basic puppy eyes.

Of course, you couldn't keep your slight giggles silent.

"When do I not? Dad got our usual favorites, but he even got us some new snacks to try later. Dad said they're imported, so we'll see how that'll work out."

You peck his lips three times before departing yourself from the male.

"I'll see you later, babe. Just relax, for now. Then, we can eat and chill once I return."

"Okay, baby. Take my wallet. Buy yourself something if you find anything interesting at the store."

"Yeah, like hell I would. I got it, babe. Today was my pay day, so I can pay for it," you refused.

"Bubba, just take it. Let me treat you, love," he insisted.

"It's fine. I'll pay."

"I wasn't asking, Y/N."

"Neither was I, Ryomen."

"Either you take my wallet and get something with the alcohol or I spoil what happens in One Piece."

You gasped dramatically at the threat.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me, bubba," he retaliated with a slight smirk.

"Ugh, healthy relationships are exhausting."

"Too bad, you're stuck."

"Nah, nah, nah, nah," you mimic, tongue sticking out in a goofy manner.

He laughs at your mockery.

"So mature of you, my love."

"More than you," you respond, backing facing him, waving him off.

His chuckles reached your ears once more. Despite the melting in your heart, your eyes playfully roll as you went back into his bedroom, grabbing his wallet from the nightstand.

"If you go broke, don't blame me!" You shout.

"Wasn't planning to!" He answered.

Scoffing from his egotistical behavior, you left the apartment, making your way to store on foot. The walk in itself is normally 5-10 minutes, so traveling from his place to the store wasn't a problem. You made your way out the complex and began to stroll through the night.

While you walked through the small town, you thoroughly admired the beauty of the simple town. The street lights shining on the trees as a few flowers and leaves fall gracefully unto the concrete, the cars passing by swiftly bringing breeze with every pass, bystanders peacefully passing through the streets, the neon and LED signs of the various stores and businesses adding color to the darkness of the night, and your favorite, the twinkling and dazzling of the numerous stars above you decorating the pitch black sky so beautifully.

Tranquil nights have always been your favorite atmosphere. Everyone's resting after a long day's work, barely anyone around to cause ruckus, the breeze being much cooler as it blows against your skin, the list could go on.

While distracted by your analysis of the town's beauty, a hand forcefully covers your mouth as you were suddenly yanked into an alley where no one tends to go in.

With your screams muffled, you squirmed and struggled in the unknown figure's grip before your back was slammed against the wall. Fear crept into your veins as you were manhandled by this mysterious person.

"Now, now, no need to be so hasty, Y/N-chan. Just do as I say and no one gets hurt, okay?"

Before you could scream, your heart dropped once you recognized the masculine voice. One you were a little too familiar with. Though it was almost completely dark, you squinted your eyes on attempt to identify the unknown figure.

Your heart jumped to your throat as the fear in your blood transformed into pure terror, causing to you to lose the ability to function, much less move.

The towering male slyly allowed an evil grin crawl on his face seeing your reaction, installing more fear inside your curvaceous little body.

There stood Kyojuro Michikatsu, your ex.

Hands began to tremble, your knees buckled, sweat dripped frequently from your forehead, whimpers left your lips, though muffled. Memories of your past relationship replayed in your head so suddenly yet clearly.

"I don't care if you're starving. No one's going to find an elephant attractive unless you start losing that tummy."

"I'm sorry, baby. I just wanted what was best for you. Please forgive me."

"You're a worthless piece of sh*t that nobody loves except me! You'll realize the mistake you made and you'll come running back!"

Your eyes burned, yearning for tears to escape, but you refused to back down from the male before you. As you made distinctively clear before, you're much different from back then.

"Good girl. Now, I'll remove my hand, but scream and you're done," he threatened.

You nodded once more, complying for the sake of your life. He finally removed his hand, letting you breathe.

"Kyojuro, what are you doing here? What do you want?" You question, so softly yet so dangerously.

"Ouch. No need to be harsh, Y/N-cha--"

"Don't call me that, bastard. You lost that privilege the day you laid your hands on me," you growled.

His jaw tightened, restraining himself from surrendering to his anger, a common emotion that you knew turned the wheels in his head. Inhaling and exhaling, a fake, affectionate smile at plastered on face.

"I said sorry, didn't I?"

"Yeah, and you said you wouldn't do it again, but look what happened. You know what, I ain't got time for this, Kyojuro."

You attempted to leave, but the male immediately shoved you back into the wall harsher than before. Way harsher.

"No, no. You...are going to listen to me, understood? 'Cause you're mine and that's all you'll ever be," he hisses with his patience running thinner than paper.

"I love you, Y/N."

His hand approached your face in attempt to caress it, but you waved it away, irritated, followed by a scoff from your lips.

"No, you don't. You love controlling me. There's a difference, Kyojuro and you know it. You're just mad I'm not helpless anymore. I'm worth more than just being your personal stress toy or matter of fact, punching bag. Come talk to me once you're able to differentiate the two."

He yells out in frustration, causing you to flinch as he slammed his fist against the wall behind you. His breath quickened in fury as his gaze on you held no humanity--not like they did anyway.

"Come on, onii-chan. Just beat the b*tch already," a feminine voice whined.

The familiar tone made your anxiety skyrocket. The woman's silhouette appeared from the shadows behind the male, making your blood boil red.

"I'm assuming you're behind this," you speculate with such a venomous tone.

"More or less."

Her obnoxious giggle enters your ears, screeching your eardrums similar to a cat's claws scratching a chalkboard. Your annoyance grew with every passing second as the two stand next to each other.

Kyojuro Michikatsu and Kanjuro Mizuki.

Kyojuro and Kanjuro share the same mother, however, they originated from separate dads. Long story short, their mother cared more about her bank account than her husbands.

Correction, ex-husbands.

Kyojuro's father was a wealthy man with a successful company and in its prime, his mother was quick to have him bankrupt. With absolutely no cent left, the man was abandoned by his supposedly beloved wife and son. No justice was served since his mother had a very well-put group of lawyers to cover her tracks. It wasn't even a year after she left before she married a much wealthier man, therefore, conceiving Kanjuro. That's why, they have different last names.

There isn't much information about their relationship at the moment, however, it didn't take a genius to recognize a "gold digger" when you saw one.

"What the hell do you want?" You hissed.

"Not much, Y/N-chan. Just want a small conversation with you," Mizuki says with venomous smile.

"About what?"

"About this."

Mizuki lands a hard slap right across your face.

Instinctively, you approached her, ready to retaliate. Yet, you were forcefully yanked by your hair by Kyojuro, pulling you back and he landed a nice kick in your gut.

You dropped to the floor, pain spreading throughout your body as you groaned on your hands and knees. Holding your gut, once more, your hair was yanked, snapping your head up to see Mizuki, inches away from your face, smirking with amusement and sadism.

"This is what you should look like. On your hands and knees, like a little b*tch."

"Have you looked in the mirror recently?" You remarked.

You spit in her face, causing her jaw to drop in offense. She shrieks in disgust.

"You little--"

There, a kick landed square in your face, resulting into a liquid redness to drip from your nose profusely. Without a moment to groan in agony, another aggressive pull was placed on your scalp once more, lifting you up to lean your wrecked body against the wall before Kyojuro landed a nice punch on your other cheek, earning a slight grumble from you.

"Know your place, Y/N-chan," your ex hisses.

Spitting out the blood, the metallic taste in your taste buds feed into your blood lust. You scoff weakly in amusement as your eyes meet his.

"Like I'd listen to a bastard like you."

The veins in the male's forehead and neck pulsed so violently as a sadistic grin crept unto his face.

"You've developed quite the mouth last time I saw you. Gotta change that."

He attempts another right hook, but being quick enough, you were able to dodge and elbow him square in the nose, causing redness to flow similarly to you. He stumbles back as the siblings both shared the exact petrified expression of seeing blood seep down. They both look to you, finding you in a defensive stance, smirking.

"Not a nice feeling, now is it?" You mock.

His eyes narrowed in fury as he approached you, flying his limbs around, striving to land a blow. However, it never made contact as you would dodge every time. Spotting an opening, you made harsh contact with his side using your fist, extracting a yelp from him in pain. With a few seconds of him distracted, a roundhouse crushed his face in, possibly breaking a tooth or two.

Mizuki came in to help without hesitation, making similar movements, but not nearly precise compared to her bastard of a brother. Snickers left your lips as her movements resembled a five year old attempting to box. With ease, your leg swiftly looped in from behind her legs, directing her to fall on her back. But before making contact with the floor, you landed one last punch on her face, giving her the same nosebleed as her brother.

You towered over her body, out breath due to the abuse on your body from her and Kyojuro. Suddenly, you pulled into a head lock, closing the airways for oxygen to enter your body. Choking, you hit the forearms of the perpetrator to cause harm, but no avail did it help. Blood running down his nose and lips, Kyojuro grunted as he mustered all of his remaining strength to keep you locked in.

"You know, I really was going to go easy on you and forgive you for what you did to my sister, but now, you're just testing me."

Even with the lack of oxygen in your lungs, you managed to laugh at his hypocritical statement.

"Isn't that what you did to me? Isn't that what she did to Sukuna? You hypocrites are just sh*t in the flesh. At least, I'm not a wuss to straighten up a real hoe when I saw one," you spat.

He growled as his displeasure increased with every word spoken from your mouth. Shakily, Mizuki managed to stand up, though her stance was visibly unstable. Her eyes narrowed, similarly to her brother's, as she snarled in annoyance as well.

"You still want to mess with me, you sl*t?! Huh?!"

With Kyojuro's inescapable hold on you, Mizuki went ballistic with no restrictions. She landed a few punches unto your gut and face a few times before Kyojuro finally released you from his grip, resulting into you dropping unto the floor, groaning at the pain. Coughing intensely, red flowed in thicker and greater amounts from your lips.

They towered over your chubby figure, beaten and bruised and out of breath from the intense collision that had occurred. With one last kick to your side, Mizuki scoffs in triumph.

"Serves you right, you whore."

On their way to leave, unexpectedly, you began to laugh hysterically, confusing the two siblings. They stared at your crawling figure, cackling maniacally, while making way near the wall. Using the wall as leverage, your legs weakly conjured whatever remaining strength to assist you in standing up, though your stance was sluggish and exhausted. For balance, you leaned your back against the wall as your cackles echoed through the alley.

"You're pathetic, Mizuki-san. You couldn't handle the fact you got your *ss handed to you, you cried to Big Brother to help you. I knew you were weak, but damn," you smugly say with a sly smile.

Her eyes burned with fury once more, prepared to pounce on you again, yet she was quickly decline by a hand stopping her arm.

Our attention shifted to the unknown figure--correction: figures-- standing behind the female. The woman froze in fear while the male stood there irritated at the interruption. You, on the other hand, became anxious seeing nothing, but two shadow silhouettes. However, it quickly withered away, finally being able to recognize the white hair contrasting from the pitch black of night.

"Who the f*ck are you two?" Kyojuro snapped, referring mainly to the white-haired figure holding Mizuki's arm.

"Just a few friends," answered the white hair.

"Satoru, don't waste your breath on scum," the other stated with a cheerful tone that poured poisonous intent.

Looking behind him, Kyojuro found a male with a sharper eye shape and long black hair.

"Who are you calling scum, you b*tch?!" Kyojuro exclaims.

The male attempted a punch towards the black hair's face, only to be abruptly stopped by the latter's hand holding his fist. With a wicked smile, the long-haired male went near Kyojuro's ear, nearly crushing the man's fist in his grip.

"Look in the mirror," Suguru whispered.

Without a moment to spare, Suguru twisted the male's wrist, causing a few joints to go out of place, earning a satisfying scream of agony.

"Oops, too much?" Suguru mocks with a smile of absolute malice.

Landing a harsh kick to the chest sent Kyojuro flying to wall, somewhat near you, making him fall to floor. His cries of agony filled your ears, feeding into your hunger of sadism.

"Onii-chan!" Mizuki cried.

"Shut up, hoe," Satoru snarled.

Turning her to face him with such aggression, he lands a nice slap to her cheek before swiping his long legs underneath hers, tripping her similarly to you. Instead of punching while she's in the air, he lets her body fall, but before her head hits the floor, he gives one last kick to the side of her jaw. Nothing was overly injured, but it was painful enough to leave them unconscious for a while.

"Aww, she's already knocked out," Satoru whines.

"Sometimes, I wish she wasn't so weak, so I could land a few more blows, but I'm just glad I got t--"

Suguru coughs in interruption. Satoru looks at the other puzzled until Suguru directs his attention to you, beaten up and weakly standing, waving awkwardly.

"Right. My bad."

The two take one arm each around their shoulders, helping you stand up, allowing you relax in their grip.

"Whoa Y/N, are you alright? What happened?" Satoru asked, worry audible in his voice.

"You know the usual, my ex and his little sister beating me up to get back at me from handing her flat*ss to her," you casually share.

"Ex? Little sister? Mizuki has an older brother?" Suguru asks.

"I think it's best if I tell you guys later. You know, when we're not suspiciously in a dark alleyway where the people are beaten up."

"Yeah, let's go," Satoru suggested.

"Wow, you really are a whore," a voice remarked.

The three turned your heads to see your ex, Kyojuro, barely holding unto consciousness with a useless smirk on face. You scoff.

"Yeah, and I'm guessing those STD forms on your nightstand weren't real either," you snarled back.

His snark returned once hearing your words.

"You won't get away with this. No one would ever love you the way I did."

Satoru shifted forward, ready to add another name to his murder list, but you were quick to stop him.

"If that's your definition of love, I think I'll survive. Let's go, guys," you respond.

Without question, the two guys assisted you in walking to Sukuna's apartment. Once realizing where you were headed, you suddenly remembered the original purpose of your outing.

"Crap, I need to get something from the store. Turn around."

"What? No. We're taking you to Ryomen-chan's to get you treated," Satoru scolded.

"We can go after I get what I need from the store. I just need one thing."

"What is it?"

"Rubbing alcohol. Ryo-kun needs for his first aid kit."

"We can get that after we get to Ryomen-chan's place."

"Please. We really need it. I don't want to return empty handed," you share with a melancholic tone.

The decrease in your mood only decreased their's as well. Weakened by your saddened expression and tone, the two look at each other, sending a telepathic message before sighing in unison.

"Fine. How about this? Suguru will take you to Ryomen-chan and I'll get it for you," the white hair negotiated.

"It's alright, senpai. It's my responsibility. I told Ryo-kun I'd get it."

"No, Y/N-san," Suguru interrupted. "Satoru will get it. I'll stay with you until we get to Ryomen's house."

"B-Bu--"

"No 'buts'. Satoru will get it, I'll stay with you, and that's final. Understood?" Suguru almost scolded.

With a pout, you nodded, agreeing with the decision.

It wasn't long until the depressing aura radiating off you shifted to pure glee. You smiled gratefully, melting the hearts of the two men.

"Thank you, Gojo-senpai. Thank you, Geto-senpai. I truly appreciate everything you guys do for us," you say, softly and sincerely.

With a shy blush appear on their faces, Suguru coughed to recollect himself from his flustered state while Satoru nervously chuckles, scratching the back of his hair.

"N-No problem, Y/N-chan. Just get there safely. I'll be back, okay?"

He ruffles your hair before he basically skips off to the store.

"Dang it! I forgot to give him the money for the alcohol," you groan.

"Don't fret too much about it, eh? He's loaded, so you'll be fine," Suguru reassured.

"But, still."

"Y/N-san, please. Let's focus on getting you to Ryomen and treating your bruises. We can discuss other matters later."

Suguru being assertive to your whining somewhat made you feel irritated, but it was easily brushed off knowing it's all for your safety. Although, he doesn't realize the worry storming in your mind when trying to figure out the explanation you'd have to share with Ryomen when seeing you. You actually wanted to hide away and keep the event hidden from the male, for the sake of his mental health, but you knew that wouldn't be the best option. You could only pray for a decent reaction, though you knew what was possibly coming.

Time Skip

Finally arriving at Sukuna's place, Suguru brought you into the bedroom where your lover was laying on a fresh towel on the bed, waiting with nothing but a towel around his hips, playing on his phone. A familiar expression of horror suddenly appeared on his face, seeing you with a swollen eye, bloody forehead, bruised cheeks and lips, and an overall beaten-down figure, using Suguru as leverage.

Almost immediately, disregarding his own wounds, he carefully took you from Suguru, bringing you to the bathroom to bathe and care for you before getting you treated. With Suguru already in the living room, waiting, your lover helped dress you in your undergarments and shorts before calling Suguru in to help tend to your wounds. The two men are the only ones able to see you with a bra and shorts, mainly since they don't lust after you nor make any moves. Plus, you've all been to beach together, so it wasn't necessarily anything new or uncomfortable.

After explaining his own wounds to his dear friend, although it left the long hair pitying the other, Sukuna began itching for an explanation seeing his beloved decorating in purple, blue and black bruises, beginning from your beautiful face to your adorable tummy to your delectable legs. His heart twisted so bitterly. With Suguru bandaging your body since it was mainly sprains and bruises all over your body, you hesitantly decided to share the details of your encounter during your outing to the store. Just as predicted, he didn't take it well.

"What?!"

You held in your ears in slight pain.

"Not so loud. These walls aren't so thick, you know?" You scold.

"Sorry if I can't help, but get pissed at the fact our exes decided to gang up on you!" Your boyfriend exclaimed, louder.

"Ryomen," Suguru whispers. "Please, we're all in shock and we're all upset, but you must recollect yourself. You and Y/N-san are not in the best condition so, don't strain yourselves. Wait until Satoru arrives and we can treat you both. Then, we can discuss."

Huffing and puffing, your lover crosses his arms, sulking similarly to a child, becoming silent from his whining. There, Suguru claimed his assertive victory over your lover.

Curse his dominant exterior.

"Geto-senpai. I've been meaning to ask. How did you and Gojo-senpai find me?" Your question curiously.

In fact, Sukuna even became intrigued.

"Well, we actually came from the store with snacks, on our way to Ryomen's place to hang out. We were passing by when we heard someone cursing and another person groaning. We checked to see if things were what we assumed it to be and it was. However, we weren't expecting you to be there, let alone being beaten up. Once we saw that guy and Mizuki beating you up, we couldn't control ourselves and interfered."

"Well, thank you again. For everything. I probably would have died if you hadn't interfered."

"Don't mention it. Satoru recorded it and we listened to everything from when he told you to know your place and then on. We're going to report it as evidence of domestic abuse and assault. There were even videos from when you handed Mizuki's flat *ss in her hands several months ago. But, it mainly caught her sexually assaulting Ryomen. Therefore, this two siblings really have no defense against these."

You smile gratefully as rubbed the back of his palm.

"Thank you, Geto-senpai. I owe you and Gojo-senpai."

The male froze as an adorable blush appeared on his cheeks, giving you genuine smile.

"Don't worry about it, Y/N-san. We're just glad you're okay, now."

The bedroom door flew open as the one we've waiting for finally arrived.

"I have the alcohol, but I bought some extra food, just in case," Satoru noted.

He hands the liquid to Suguru before the latter pours the liquid on a cotton pad, approaching Sukuna. The pink hair backed up.

"Hell no, do Y/N first!" Sukuna complains.

"Your wounds are more severe compared to hers. She mainly has bruises and sprains. You were literally stabbed by glass. I already treated her and now, it's your turn," the other male explains.

"I believe you need this," you offer, handing Sukuna your wallet.

Whining and grumbling, Sukuna sat stiffly with the wallet placed in his mouth as Suguru began to dab the damp cotton pad on the various cuts, earning a melody of muffled yelps and cries from the pink hair. Satoru, on the other hand, was having the time of his life Almost in a sadistic manner, Suguru thoroughly clean inside the cuts to prevent internal infection or anything of the sort, causing the injured male to tear up.

You decided to sit next to him and held his hand through the entire process, though you were close in losing your hand. Suguru then applied some Vaseline before he wrapped Sukuna in bandages and gauzes.

"And done," Suguru proclaimed. "Just make sure to change your bandages and clean your wounds every day."

With a nod, the other male relaxed against your shoulder as you pat his head, oh so gently and softly. Meanwhile, the cackling white hair continued to spew his balls of laughter, thinning the patience of the three of you.

"Bruh, my guy almost cried! Bahaha!" He teased.

The three of you simultaneously glared at the laughing male before turning your heads towards each other. With a nod, all three of you approached him as he remained in his pit of laughter. Noticing you three towering over him, you all quickly smack the sides and back of head in sync.

"Ow! What the hell?!"

His cry left unanswered made him pout in result.

"Anyways, let's get down to business. Y/N-san. If you don't mind telling us, what is your relation with this man, other than being your ex-boyfriend? Is he a co-worker of some sort? Old classmate?" Suguru interrogated.

Still next to Sukuna, you took a sharp breath as your fingers began to fidget. The thought of him causing so much physical triggers. Sukuna did not hesitate to hold them both in his bigger one. He runs his thumb on the back of your palm, soothingly.

"Take your time, bubba," he comforted.

You nod with another sigh following.

"He and I were together since Intermediate. We were young and it was puppy love almost. We continued our relationship throughout high school until around our Second Year. He, uh," you halt with a broken chuckle.

"He got upset because I didn't go to his ruby game, but I told him beforehand that I had a funeral for my grandma. He knew how much I loved her, but then he, uh, he and I started to fight. That's when he laid his hands on me for the first time. He slapped me."

You look at the others as their expression read a mix of empathy and anger. You could tell they're using all the manpower to restrain themselves. With a gulp, you continued hesitantly.

"He apologized and always made it up to me, promising he'd never do that again. But, then one time turned to another. And another, then another, then another. He became mentally and emotionally abusive as well, stating I was an elephant, I was unworthy of love, he was the only one that'd ever love me, no one would love me like how he did. It was hard to leave him when I wasn't mentally there."

"What brought you out?" Satoru asks.

"Mr. Shimizu."

"Dad? Your boss?" Your boyfriend asks.

"Yeah. A sly man that guy," you chuckle awkwardly.

Their heads tilted, puzzled, but you weren't hesitant to respond.

"He was smart. He would indirectly show me how he treated Mrs. Shimizu, setting an example of how I should be treated and basically helped me develop my self-worth. My debt to him is massive, but he just wanted to make sure I was okay."

Suguru hums in understanding.

"I see. I'm assuming he's the reason why you refuse to apply a better paying job."

Nodding, a slight smile appeared on your face.

"When I broke up with Kyojuro, he immediately brought me in until I felt safe to go back home. That's why I call him and Mrs. Shimizu my parents. They were there when no one was there for me, so I refuse to think of anyone else as otherwise."

They nod in understanding.

"They helped me get in to college and now," you smile, looking at the male beside you before scanning the rest of the room to the others.

"I met you guys. And I've never been happier."

The grin on your face became contagious as the others began to beam themselves. Kissing the back of your lover's hand, you relax in content of admitting such emotions.

"Thank you guys, for everything."

"Of course, Y/N-chan," Satoru egotistically responded.

"Anything for a friend," the long hair followed.

Sukuna kissed your temple affectionately. Finally, the closure everyone yearned for. Hopefully, everything will remain tranquil until then.

"We love you, baby. So very much," Sukuna admitted.

"I love you guys, too. So very much."

Bonus:

"Ryomen," Suguru called out. "Should we...?"

Purposely ending the sentence, the male rose his eyebrows, indicating something to your lover, leaving you quite confused.

"Should you guys, what?" You ask.

"Uhm, bubs. Since we're confessing things, we, uh, wanted to discuss things with you," Sukuna added with suspense.

The room suddenly shifted from such affection to pure tension, triggering your anxiety. You chuckled nervously.

"W-What's going on? Did I do something?" You question nervously.

"No, of course not. It's just, well, we had an idea and we wanted to know your thoughts about it," Suguru interfered.

"Uhm, alright. Let's hear it."

The two other males looked to your boyfriend, indicating him to share it with you.

"Okay, well, baby. We have wanted to ask if you wanted to make a few additions to our relationship," Sukuna shared.

"I...don't follow."

"We want to know your opinion of various partners," Suguru deciphered.

"At different times or...?" You question, clueless.

Satoru grumbles in annoyance seeing this conversation going nowhere.

"We wanted to ask if you'd like Suguru and I to be your partners along with Ryomen-chan," Satoru blurts out.

Taken aback by the male's blatant words, you remained speechless as your brain no longer could function at that very moment. The three grew worried as the mature two of the three glared at the big-mouth of the group.

"What? She wasn't getting the hint," Satoru defended.

"Wait, all three of you agreed to this?" You asked.

They simultaneously nodded in unison, including Sukuna.

"Even you, Ryo-kun?"

"The thing is well, the guys have taken a great liking to you and well, you have grown to be quite confiding around them. I mean, you're literally sitting there with only a bra and shorts and you're thinking nothing of it."

That is true. You honestly could've cared less about the amount of skin you show when around any of the three males, which differentiates from other situations considering you're much more modest in your clothing when in public, no matter if it was a male and/or female setting.

"We all talked about it. Though we don't feel anything romantic within each other, we all agreed that we all wanted to be your partners."

"B-But, why me?"

"To help provide you with everything you could possibly need," Suguru answered.

"To give you all the affection that you deserve after the life of hell you've went through," Satoru added.

"To prevent scenarios similar to today's from happening," Sukuna finished.

Your lover held your hands in his much bigger ones, staring deeply into your alluring eyes.

"But, we weren't planning on moving forward with the agreement unless we had your consent. So, be honest with us. We won't be hurt or upset if you decline."

"Actually, we would feel hur-- Ow!" The white hair interrupted.

"Satoru," Suguru hissed.

The scolded male pouted and whined once more as you began to consider your options. Seeing the anticipation in their eyes and considering your own feelings, you took a minute to truly analyze the situation.

Waiting for your answer almost an eternity later, only built up more and more suspense. With each passing moment, the three males began to regret even asking such a question from you.

Finally, you've come to a conclusion.

"Alright. I'll do it. I may not know how to do the whole "multiple-partners" thing, but I do know that I enjoy being around all of you and I've always felt the safest with either of you or all three. So, we'll see how this turns out."

Hearing your answer, Satoru immediately stood up carrying you up into the air as if you were as light as a feather.

"Yes, yes, yes! I'm finally Y/N-chan's boyfriend!" He celebrated.

You flinched and yelped in pain, due to the aggressive affection on your raw injuries.

"C-Careful, senpai!"

"Satoru, you're hurting her," Suguru scolded.

Once noticing the discomfort, Satoru immediately brought his inconsiderate action to a halt.

"Oops. My bad," he chuckles nervously.

He gently sat you back next to your original lover while Suguru stood up approaching you, kneeling in front of you holding your hand in his.

"Thank you, Y/N-san, for allowing us a chance to be your partners. I promise you won't regret it."

He kisses the back of your hand, similarly as you would a princess. A dark shade of red colored your entire face as the sensation increased your skipping heartbeat in an instant. The male shared one last glance with a grin until retreating back to his original seat. However, one pink-haired male became pouty from the lack of attention.

"Bubba," he whined. "What about me?"

You laugh at his silly antic.

"What about you? You're still mine, regardless. Don't worry."

You peck his pouty lip, resulting into a beautiful smile on his face.

Looking around, everyone seemed happy and quite content with the atmosphere at that moment. You knew there was going to be all of work and hassle along the way, but you knew, that as long as you were able to stay with these guys, you'd be able to manage.

"Don't worry, bubs. We belong to no one, but you," Sukuna reassures followed by a kiss.

"Only You."

~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed!

Good night, my loves ❤

[songmingisthighs]

Hooked

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

ch. lxxi - really proud of you sweetie ❤❤

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??? × reader, ateez × reader

A freshman hookup rekindled into something new. With an incentive, of course. But what would happen if your 'relationship' led you somewhere you never thought would happen to you ?

The whole time you went out to buy snacks with San and Jongho, you couldn't help but think about how Yeosang was still cold towards you.

"Okay, first of all, you're not gonna let that shithead get to you, you got me?" San firmly said as he threw a bag of chips at Jongho's head, obviously aiming at the basket in his hand but he miscalculated.

"Second, hasn't he opened up to you slightly? Pretty sure he said something to Hwa hyung about being a dick to you yesterday," San shrugged as the three of you walked towards the cashier.

As Jongho put the basket on the counter, he chimed in with his own opinion, "I say let him be all pissy and bitchy towards (Y/N)," he scoffed.

You let out a whine of protest and smacked Jongho on his arm. Though that barely did anything as he only grinned and pulled you into his arms. "I didn't mean that in a bad way, I just meant that if he decided to back off, the rest of us, aka ME, can have more of you," he whispered into your ear as he snaked his arms around your waist.

Though you were slightly affected by Jongho saying that there was a chance that Yeosang wanted to back off of your relationship, you couldn't help but blush and giggle at Jongho's rather possessive words and actions.

The three of you left the convenience store with two bags. Both of course being carried each by San and Jongho as you stood in between them with your pinkies linked to each other.

"You know, you COULD just show what Yeosang's missing, maybe then he'd realize how much of a bitch he was being and that he'd stop," San said, snickering at himself.

You thought over San's words and realized that he was right. Rather than thinking that you're the one at the disadvantage, you can simply flip things around and make Yeosang break.

So you concocted a plan in your head all the way back and as you got ready for movie night.

Whilst everyone was running around everywhere, pulling blankets and pillows from their rooms, you sat idly by and kept a close eye on Yeosang. The way you were looking at him made it seem like you're a predator and Yeosang's your prey.

As everyone took their seat, you slyly directed each of the boys to sit where you want them to sit, leaving the last comfortable position directly below you, by your feet. Since you know Yeosang tends to go to the bathroom last minute, it meant that he was going to have to sit at the available spot if he wanted to comfortably watch the movie.

Just as you expected, he walked back and froze for a second when he realized where he would be sitting.

"Yeosang, come on, we're gonna start now," Hongjoong called out from his position at the edge of the sofa.

Knowing he can't do or say anything, Yeosang gave up and went to take a seat by your feet. You smirked inconspicuously as you leaned against Seonghwa who was at your right. You nuzzled into him as your legs reached over to Wooyoung's lap on your left.

In the first ten minutes of the movie, you let Yeosang relax, not letting any parts of your body touch his. This seemed to be effective because his eyes were focused on the screen and his shoulders seemed very much relaxed.

But when he seemed to disregard your existence, you let your knee and fingers brush against the back of his neck. As your skin made contact with his, he visibly stiffened. Knowing him, his eyes were most likely bulged out and his grip on the blanket he and San shared tightened to the point that his knuckles turned white.

You smirked at yourself at his reaction, knowing that teasing him was going to be fun and that he deserved it.

The subtlety of your touch seemed to awaken something in Yeosang. Maybe it was his triggered frustration or it was just simply the fact that you hadn't touched him in the longest time.

When your eyes peeked down at him, it was evident that his mind was thinking a hundred thousand thoughts a minute. With his chest rising and deflating with each breath dramatically, you know it's time to take it up a notch and to test your hypothesis.

Sexually frustrated Yeosang + subtle teasing = boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oing.

"Oops, almost forgot my popcorn," you muttered lowly but loud enough for Yeosang, Seonghwa, and Wooyoung to hear. Once Seonghwa and Wooyoung let their grip on you off, you proceeded to swing your right light over Yeosang and stepped diagonally. With the newfound balance, you leaned your body forward to pretend to reach for the popcorn bowl.

With this position, Yeosang was in direct eyeliner with your clothed core. The shorts you wore were not helping either. It was the pair you wore were the ones Wooyoung bought for you; very tight and short, the black, stretchy material both accentuated and covered only half of your ass.

To make things worse, you pretended to lose your balance and fell directly on Yeosang's lap with a high, squeaky yelp, albeit very fake. The close proximity between you two enabled you to hear the choked gasp that came out of Yeosang. Not only that, but you felt something hard pressing against your ass.

Either Yeosang hid the remote in his pants or your plan worked well.

You turned your face to look at Yeosang with a faux innocent, apologetic face, "Oops, sorry Sangie," you apologized to him, batting your eyelashes at him.

It seemed that Seonghwa and San had caught onto your plan. They were snickering at the scene unveiling before them.

Without saying anything else, you stood up. To make things worse, with your ass directly in front of Yeosang, you 'fixed' your shorts; pulling it up and exposing more of your ass.

"I'll be back," you told the room, to no one specific, before walking towards the kitchen.

You pretended to look around in there, trying to find something when suddenly a set of footsteps followed. Before you could even turn to look at who came, you had been swung and pushed until your back hit the fridge's door.

The sight of Yeosang's flustered face combined with his glare greeted you. You tried your best to not look so smug. On the contrary, you pretended to be confused.

With hands pinned at the sides, you knew you couldn't do much. You tilted your head at him and blinked innocently, "something wrong, Sangie?"

Hearing the faux innocence dripping from your voice only made Yeosang growl, slightly ticked that you dared play him like a fiddle.

"Something wrong? Are you seriously that ignorant or are you just pretending to be dumb? I don't even know which one is worse but I'm fucking sick of you flaunting your ass like a damn peacock trying to mate," he rambled on.

Your expression changed as a smirk broke on your face, "didn't know you're one to give in so easily, Sangie? You think with your dick now?" you poked fun at him.

Yeosang's left eye visibly twitched at your words. One of his hands let go of one of yours to grab at the back of your hair, tugging it back rather harshly, eliciting a moan out of you, "are you comparing me with one of the cheap boy toys that you played with when you weren't here? Didn't know your standards were lowered to that extent," he smirked, trying to push you the same way you did him.

A gasp and a low groan left Yeosang when you cupped his dick with your free hand over his pyjama pants, giving it a bit more pressure to feel how hard he was.

"No matter how much you call them 'cheap boy toys', they have bigger balls than you, Sangie. How long did you plan on being all pissy with me, hmm? Did it hurt your pride that I had to be the one who initiated direct contact with you?" you snarled at him.

You could see his eyes burn in anger with a tinge of shame. You knew you had struck a nerve in him.

All of a sudden, Yeosang pulled you off the fridge, turned you around and pushed you down by the shoulder to the point that your cheek was pressed onto the cold countertop.

Excitement filled you as you realized where this was going. Your formula was spot on, your H1 was accepted and H0 was rejected.

When you realized that Yeosang was not doing anything, you took matters into your own hands. You pressed your scantily clad core directly against his boner.

"Not gonna do anything, Sangie? Do I have to get one of the boys to show you how to use a dick properly? Or should I call one of Haknyeon's friends to show you? There's this one, Hyunjae I think was his name, he-"

You couldn't complete the sentence as Yeosang had slapped your ass so hard, you were sure he had left a purple handprint there.

As you were about to protest, Yeosang had somehow taken a clean rag and wrap it around your mouth as a makeshift gag. He leaned forward so that his chest was pressed onto your back.

"Be a good girl and keep your big mouth shut, yeah?" he ordered. His hand skimmed your waist down to your legs and it slowly caressed the back of your thighs, leaving goosebumps at their wake.

When he realized you didn't give him any response, his hands smacked the sides of your legs harshly, making you jolt up in surprise.

"Too dumb to answer?" he growled. Hearing the anger in his voice made you whimper out in fear and submission.

Yeosang smiled and pecked the back of your neck after you replied to him, your submission made him feel soft for a split second.

It wasn't until he pulled your shorts and panties carelessly along with his own pyjama pants and underwear that your brain finally registered that you're about to have angry sex with Yeosang. From how he had been treating you so far, you're at least 70% sure that there will be bruises all over you tomorrow.

Without hesitation, Yeosang shoved his dick deep into you, hips pressing against your ass as his hands found anchor on your waist. His grip was tight, vice even, it almost seemed possessive.

He set a harsh and quick pace from the beginning, not caring that your hips were smacking the counter nor the fact that literally anyone could enter the kitchen area.

Yeosang isn't one to talk much during sex, he tends to focus on the action more than anything else.

The feeling of him continuously entering you at such pace and vigour were intoxicating. Maybe it was all the pent up frustration and anger, but you swore your eyes rolled back even further each time his hips smacked yours harshly. You definitely won't be able to sit on your ass after this.

"Shit, I guess you were telling the truth when you said you weren't playing with your cousin's friends," he groaned out mid-thrust.

Yeosang suddenly pulled out, making you whine in protest.

If it weren't for the extreme sexual tension and both of your compromising predicament, Yeosang would've cooed at how adorable you sounded.

But that wasn't his priority at the moment.

Wordlessly, Yeosang pulled you off the counter to move you to the wooden dining table. He pushed you to lie on the table as he propped a leg up to his waist.

With this new position, you could see the defined lines of his chest peeking from his pyjama when he anchored himself above you. You thanked the workout regime he had been following internally because the sight of his muscles made your pussy throb.

Yeosang immediately went back to thrusting with an animalistic pace into you, pouring every bit of emotion he had into action. You could feel it. The way he was so close to you but still maintaining a certain distance, you knew that he was hesitating. The way he was avoiding your eyes and focus on where you both were connected, yearning for intimacy but scared to initiate it. But you also know that he wanted you beyond anything else and that he was sorry. He wasn't one to be good with words but luckily you know him well enough to understand him.

As he focused on pleasuring you both, you took the chance to prop yourself up slightly and pull the rag gag off your mouth and threw it to the side.

Your hand slapped his face, stunning him for a second. As his movements halted and eyes finally meeting yours, your grabbed his face and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

He froze momentarily, not knowing what to do. But when you pulled out to speak to him, you could see that his stubbornness began to chip away and crumble.

"You don't have to feel bad about what happened, I forgave you and it's about time you forgive yourself for being a jerk to me. And I'm sorry for leaving you to take care of everyone like that, Sangie. But can we please move past all that and go back to normal?"

His once vice grip on you loosened.

At first, you thought he was going to let you go and run away.

But he suddenly pulled you up and flush against him. He hugged you tightly, burying his face on your shoulder.

"I should've been the one to apologize first. I'm sorry, I love you so much," he said lowly against your skin. You knew that it was hard for him to be so vulnerable which was why you know him saying all that meant that he was being beyond sincere.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as his wrapped around your waist.

Soon his thrusts continued.

The initial roughness and anger were replaced with longing and desperation.

Not long after, you felt that you were close to the edge. Your leg that was hoisted up on Yeosang's waist tightened and Yeosang immediately realized what it meant.

His hands slipped under your shirt to play with your chest. His fingers tweaking and pinching your nipples, adding to the pleasure that he gave. The intense arousal shot to your pussy and you clenched hard as you came.

Head thrown back, exposing your neck to him, Yeosang took the opportunity to mark you up as he liked.

The feeling of his fingers on your nipples, his mouth on your skin, and his dick still moving inside you prolonged your orgasm more than you liked. The intensity made you whine as overstimulation took over.

Luckily, Yeosang soon followed suit and released his load inside you. His hips stuttered and his teeth bit down onto your shirt-covered shoulder. You yelped at the sudden pain but the pain turned to pleasure, making your thighs shook and pussy once again clamping around Yeosang.

Yeosang let out a guttural groan that was muffled by your shoulder at the feeling, not denying how good it felt.

You both stayed there, trying to catch your breath. It was then that you registered the aftermath of your intimate activity with Yeosang. Your pants and panties had somehow stuck onto one of the drawer handles of where you were pinned down, the rag that was used as a gag had somehow made its way to the edge of the room, and Yeosang was still fully dressed.

When your eyes met his again, you see fondness and love in them, He was smiling down at you, fingers trailing down to intertwine with yours.

"What would it take me to get your full forgiveness?" he asked, head tilting to the side. His bangs moved to reveal the birthmark that he had told you a while ago he was insecure about. You leaned forward and pecked the adorable mark, making him chuckle.

"Just don't pull yourself or push me away again when things are hard, okay? The last thing I want is to almost lose you again," you told him.

He brought one of your intertwined hands to his lips and gave it a soft kiss, "there is no way on earth that you'd be able to lose me. I was actually thinking the other way around," he admitted shyly.

You bit back a giggle for his sake and opted to kiss him fully on his lips. "You would never lose me, Sangie, I belong with you, all of you," you assured him.

As he pulled himself out of you and began to clean himself up, he was reminded that the others were a room apart.

Yeosang visibly swallowed, suddenly turning nervous.

"D-do you think the others-"

"Seonghwa and San were well aware that we were having sex here, pretty sure the others heard everything as well," you said, cutting him off.

"Yeah we did! You both better clean and disinfect the heck out of the kitchen area," Seonghwa yelled out from the living room.

Hearing that, Yeosang blushed madly and moved to bury his face into your shoulder in embarrassment.

You couldn't help but laugh at him. But you wrapped your arms around him and stroked his back comfortingly.

At least you got the old Yeosang back.

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