#feeling stupid

[burymeunderneath]

i should never get my hopes up

[creatingnikki]

He knows none of my secrets and yet he wants to kiss me — this is not flattering in the least. Fine, secrets may come down the road. Scars too. But smiles? Did he see my full range of smiles? Did he see the smile after the lame joke he cracks and the smile after I say something bold and the smile after I hear him say something a bit too earnestly sweet? Maybe he did. Maybe my issue is that unless everything is spoken, narrated like in a book or movie, my brain refuses to believe it exists. But actions. I don't even know what's the benchmark? I know the benchmark for words. Bur what about actions? For that I need to be less in my room, in my bed, on my phone like I am 16 and more out with you and him and the others for spontaneous karaoke nights and then crash at your place waking up to the quite nice iced coffee you make. But I'm not. I'm here. I'm trapped. I feel more trapped than I did as a teenager. Is that it? Is all my sadness and all my frustration just fomo and discomfort? That's funny. Not funny haha but funny I want to smash something so very hard into the mirror even if it's my hand.

[safficranger]

fml ! i hate posting from my phone

i just lost an ask i was about to answer... well it posted half of the answer and when i wanted to edit it...vanished

i am so sorry!! i can`t find the ask on my phone anymore. and my work pc is not helpful either and i am not sure anymore who exactly sent it!

Was it you @manfrii ?

so here is the next best thing... this would have been my anwer and i really hope it will find the right recipient and they will forgive me my stupidity !

"Hey, thank you so so much for this message! it means the world to me. I'm honestly humbled (and a little amazed!) that my silly little Calex scenarios are still being thought of and missed.

I've been sick and dealing with life stuff lately, so writing has kind of taken a backseat, but I hope to get back into it soon. messages like yours are the best kind of motivation.

If there's a prompt or an idea you've been thinking about, feel free to throw it my way.

Maybe it'll be just the spark I need. I would at least like to try."

[lastofthe20thcenturygirls]

this is how i feel after mailing my supervisor with a question

[wanderingmind867]

You're not gonna believe this, but I woke up at 3 am and accidentally made my phone forget our house wi-fi password. Seriously. I'm pretty sure I did that, at least. Because why else would my phone not have access to our house wi-fi? I clearly must've done something when I was barely awake. And now my phone has no internet with which to do anything. If I didn't have my tablet, i'd currently have nothing with which to post about this. I'd probably have things to do, though. But sadly, I don't know what I want to do. Usually I just alternate between using my phone and my tablet. But without internet, the whole only has so many purposes.

I'll get by. But I still feel like a massive idiot. I probably did something while I was half asleep, and now i have no internet on my phone. I'm an idiot..i don't really know what else to say in a situation like this, since my dad's at work (and i'm not sure how to get the internet back on my phone). I'm just feeling tired, congested and stuffed with phlegm, and all around suffering from some strong self deprecation..

[babyjellycakes]

I'm like a stupid dog who keep coming back to its master no matter how many times he kicks me

[relaterplanet]

I genuinely feel so dumb, like what do you mean I wouldn't beat myself up for every grade if I was just a bit smarter.

I am so embarrassed for it too, I wish I could be so much more, I don't want people to look down on me

[thaenad]

lol can we please have the back story & tea to why we shouldn’t date normies 😭

that was a note to self, so I don’t want to discourage anyone else from dating normies!!

basically I put being a feeder in my bio, I wrote that feedism is the only thing that works for me & I matched w someone who didn’t bring it up at all. we ended up talking for a few days & even planned an in-person date, but I was getting anxious that we hadn’t talked about it so I brought it up. it was almost as if they were completely unsuspecting. they said they googled it and didn’t think it was that important to me. they seemed upset & weirded out that it was a dealbreaker (which brings up my own insecurities, feeling broken like something’s wrong w me for wanting to pursue my fetish) and that I should really make that clear in my bio. ugh. i’m just feeling very icky about myself, especially because I’m a feeder. this isn’t a thing i’m doing w my own body… it’s something I want to do to a partner. this person is fat & just told me they have eating issues and was very repelled by it for that reason. Idk. I know I did nothing wrong but I feel very gross about it

[gingerieno-girl]

Every day feels like I'm wading in snow. Deep thick snow. Each day takes more energy than the night can give. Every step pushed on by pure willpower. I don't know how long I can survive. I don't know if I'll survive. But I push further on. Knowing if I don't ill disappoint. Knowing if I don't I would truly have lost.

[hinattp]

Pls tell me I wasn't the only one who figure out too late that Uncle Monty was also blind to Olaf in disguise.

I just realized this when I rewatched the show for the third time.

I thought this was just one of the differences between the series and the books, but NO, he was always "dumb" too.

fanart by me (also known as @hin-amori)

[tehmba-his-arms-wide]

Any moots wanna see 🍆

[nuclearplutonium]

can we all agree that any sound effect needs to be replaced with the cfmot recovery sound

[haikuku]

Haikuku, no. 370

Wanting to be loved, yearning for connection; one more disappointment.

--haikuku

[elizabethfreyja]

Hey y'all, have this poem I wrote to help you feel better maybe? because It helped me.

I'm reminded of this story as I drag myself along the meadow, my body broken and bruised from the events of today.

In stories of old, there is a tale that's been forgotten by time. Of a calm, peaceful place, where many have come to lay their worries to rest.

I'm cold, tired and hope long since shattered.

My eyes are struggling to stay open, my body begging me for sleep, But I keep walking.

I don't even know why...

But something in me is telling me to keep going.

And I listen, unsure of where I'm heading.

My feet get heavier with each step,

"follow me..."

My lungs feel like they're about to burst,

"follow me..."

Eventually, I trip, I don't even try to stop or ease my fall,

"follow me..."

I lay there for awhile, questioning why I'm doing this...

What does it all lead to? Or amounts to in the end?

What's it all for..?

"Follow me..."

I push myself back up with some struggle, and I continue walking. It seemed like I've been walking for hours through and endless maze of trees, grass, shrubs, flowers and bugs. Leaves from the trees scattered the ground, it was autumn. The nip of the air made me shiver and I hug myself instinctively. Nevertheless, I keep going still.

I keep walking, and walking, and walking...

until....

I see a hill.

I stare at the hill for a small eternity. After, I take a deep breath and move closer to the hill. But no matter how close I get to the hill, I cannot see the other side of it. It's only when I'm standing on the edge that I realize, it's not a hill but a cliff. I stare into it's endless void wondering what brought me here... Maybe it was my intuition, or my instincts, or it could've been something else entirely. As I stand there staring down, trying to pinpoint what lead me here...

The ground gives in,

And I fall.

I fall,

and I fall.

I closed my eyes to brace myself for the impact, expecting a world of pain.

But it never came...

Slowly, I open them. As I open them, I am blinded by bright light. I use my hands to shield my eyes so they could adjust, then I lift myself off the ground observing my new surroundings. I'm left in awe as I stare into the endless field of beautiful flowers with a old willow tree in the distance.

The branches of the tree flown in the wind, as if calling to me.

I listen, and head towards the tree.

With each step, the lighter I feel.

With each step, Im able to breathe a little easier.

And with the final step, I look up at the tree.

As I watched it, it beckoned me to finally rest. I listened, and laid down near the base of the tree, looking back up at it. The leaves continued to dance happily, and I began to slow my breathing. Only then do I realize,

all my worries,

all my stress I had only moments before....

had disappeared,

as if by magic.

I smile more, and finally, I sleep.

I don't know how long I've been out, a few hours at best. But the wind gently stirs me awake. I protest, but only a little, I give in after a bit and stretch my arms out wide. The wind begins to push me softly back to where I started. It was then I knew, it was time to go home.

I rise to my feet feeling much livelier than before. I walk at a leisurely pase, still rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I leave.

As I arrive where I began, I hesitate.

I look back at the tree, the branches waving with the wind.

Something tells me that I'll always be welcomed here.

I smile for the last time as I walk away, emerging from the pit I had fallen in.

Now, whenever someone comes to ask how I always seem so happy,

I smile as I tell them about

The little garden over the hill.

Hey 👋, hope you all enjoyed this little word soup I made. I know it's not the best but I'm very proud of it. I originally made this to get an A in school, but I really liked it so I decided to post it here. I hope anyone reading this has a good day or night, wherever you're reading this.

[socialbutterfly19]

[doppelnatur]

i just don't get how calling for a cease fire is anti semitic. I also don't get how saying Israel is bombing Gaza is anti semitic when they themselves literally say they are.