#felt like one of the boys tho.. helps the dysphoria :)

[monkie-man]

Fishing was interesting… 🐟

[the-self-indulgent-corner]

Genshin Characters x a reader with adhd (part two!)

Summary: Your adhd may be strange, but you're convinced your (boy/girl) friend is stranger despite that.

Or, how the genshin characters react to a reader with ADHD. (Ft some lesser known aspects of ADHD)

Featuring: Hu Tao, Collei, Cyno. Can be read as romantic or platonic (except for Collei, I wrote hers only platonically)

A/n: Hey it's me again after *checks notes* about nine months. Whoops.

I don't have any crazy stories I just lost inspiration. Truth be told I had 2/3 of this already written out mostly but lost inspo and also time so it was kinda left in the drafts for a while. And I only finished writing it today with minimal proofreading so if there's mistakes no there isn't-

Anyways, you don't need to read part one to understand this, but as I said before I do use some more less known features of adhd in these hcs so i'm putting a general index of what they mean here. It's not a perfect summary but it'll give you a general idea of what it means.

And disclaimer! While I do have adhd, not everyone's adhd is the same. So what's common for me might be super uncommon for other folks with adhd and vise versa. So don't take this index or hcs as verbatim and do your own research if you don't know about something!

Index:

Executive dysfunction/ADHD paralysis: Wanting to do your job/work, but it feels like you’re physically unable to.

Food sensory issues/selective eating habits: A lot of people with ADHD are ‘picky eaters’ and refuse to eat certain foods even if it's good for them. Usually we pick foods with high sugar since it causes a ‘dopamine surge’.

Auditory processing disorder (APD): Having difficulty making out what someone is saying or processing what someone said too slowly.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD): Being much more sensitive to rejection or perceived rejection.

Verbal stim: Exactly the same as other stims (Like bouncing your leg or clicking a pen) but just with words. Usually being a certain phrase, sentence or singing, although any vocalization can be a verbal stim. 

Time blindness: Becoming so engrossed in something that many hours can pass when it felt like a much shorter amount of time.

Intrusive thoughts: unwanted disturbing thoughts and ideas that come to mind randomly. Can either be mildly unnerving to totally distressing.

Now with that word vomit out of the way, onto the hcs!

Hu Tao

Y'all can't tell me this girl also doesn't have ADHD. 

Once you tell Hu Tao about your ADHD she'll go "ayo that sounding kinda familiar 🤨"

Whether or not she has ADHD is up to the court to decide but NONETHELESS Hu Tao can absolutely relate to at least a few of these.

Impulsive? Check. Stimming? Check. Time blindness? Check. 

(Society not liking how you act? Check. /J)

If Hu Tao hasn't already latched onto some of your stims she definitely will after you tell her, even if she doesn't realize it right away LOL

You also steal some of hers <3 like her idle animation with the hillichurl song?? Yeah that. 

You two don't even notice it until someone (probably Zhongli) points it out.

The amount of times you two impulsively went out is kinda impressive tbh. Either one of you will be like 'hey are you busy?' And if the other says no they're dragged off somewhere LMAO

You two always have fun though

She’s good at helping you out but her ways are kinda unorthodox 

If your executive dysfunction or smthn is acting up girl will literally just. Pick you up and bring you where you need to.

“What? You need help getting somewhere and I can help! Besides, you said having others around helps you work, right?”

Stop being right about this Hu Tao how dare you /j

Really tho girl can and will just. Pick you up to get you to do something/go somewhere LMAO. Only stops if you get genuinely upset by it.

And while she’s good at helping you she’s also a bit 50/50 on what she does help you with.

If it's actively hurting you in some way she'd absolutely stop it, but if it's a bit more hehe silly goofy she'd prob just do it with you

Don't like this texture of food? Yeah her neither, let's get something else. Found something shiny and now you're distracted? She's looking at the shiny thing with you. 

If you mask/Your ADHD isn't very obvious people would view you as the one who keeps Hu Tao in check which, depending on what kind of person you are, could be true but it's much better imo if you both are equally as strange

Stranger: Oh, you'll keep Hu Tao in check, right?

You, about to do the same thing as her: Yeah of course!

Tbf even if you did try to keep everything in line Hu Tao has a way to always convince you to do it her/another way instead. She knows how to trick you.

You fall for it each time 😔

"Wait. We aren't supposed to be here! We have to go to-"

"Too late! We're already here! May as well have fun!!"

If you're playful like her you two love to tease each other all the time. The amount of inside jokes y'all have is insane

As long as you're fine with it you two try to one up embarrassing each other in other people's presence LMAO

"Hey, 'Tao, remember that one time when you-"

"If you're talking about the knuckleback incident then it's not even half as embarrassing as that time you-"

This can go on for days.

You two have a relationship not many understand but it doesn't really bother either of you. As long as you're both happy you couldn't care less.

You two are little freaks of society /lh 

Although, if you're also a bit of a troublemaker like Hu Tao, y'all turn into team rocket. Prepare for trouble and make it double fr

"Hey, y/n! You'll never guess what I just found!"

"Whatever it is, it better have the ability to mess with someone."

"It does!" 

"Perfect."

The people of Liyue often wonder how you two have that much energy. 

Hu Tao is a pretty good listener and loves to hear whatever you want to talk/rant about.

Probably the best person out of this list to rant about your hyper fixation to because girl will match your energy even if she doesn't care/knows nothing about it. If it's important to you, it's important to her!

You'd be stimming happily talking about it and she'd be doing the same; not to mock you but because if you're excited she's excited too and also needs to let out that energy 

Even if you're talking at 2x speed, she somehow keeps up with all of it. 

She also likes when you space out because it becomes 10x easier to scare you back into reality. She can’t help herself. What can she say?

“Boo~!”

“Ah! Hu Tao!? Why!”

“You were spacing out! Cmon, we can find something better to do besides staring at a wall all day.”

“... Who do you want to prank?”

“I'm so glad you asked!”

You're preoccupied for the rest of the day.

Collei

You 🤝 Collei

BEING NEURODUVERGENT/HAVING A MENTAL DISABILITY 

Even though ADHD and PTSD are nothing alike, girlie is still so happy she's found a kindred soul who personally understands (at least some of) what she has to deal with that many others don't. 

I'ma be real with you tho I don't think Collei really knew what ADHD was before she met you lmao

I feel like at most she's heard the term but not much beyond that. With that said though I don't think she'd have any preconceived notions on what ADHD entails, she's prob the easiest to explain your disability to honestly.

She also hears you explain some symptoms and is like ‘hey wait… Some of this sounds familiar to me!'

She actually confides in you quite a bit because of this. usually about her the lesser known aspects of her PTSD. It's usually the parts she feels bad about telling Tighnari, things like intrusive thoughts. 

She probably thought she was a terrible person for thinking that, unaware that intrusive thoughts are, well, intrusive. Once she tells you about them you tell her about yours as well and probably have to explain that it doesn't make her a bad person. 

Although a good bit of you and her talking about your guys mental disabilities is just that spider man pointing meme since quite a few things overlap LMAO

“Oh! So you say some things repetitively, too? I thought only I did that!”

“Yeah! I have a lot of vocal stims, honestly. Like one where I- Uh… you good, Collei? You look kind of confused.”

“Vocal stims…?”

Despite relating to quite a few things and already knowing she has a mental disability she's completely in the dark about more nuanced things than the standard. You'll have to teach her some things about it 😭

Although some things she's a bit lost on, she's got the spirit!

She can be a bit awkward about the things she doesn't relate to, though. She doesn't mean to be! But this is uncharted territory for her, and she's not quite sure what to say at times. After that initial phase of uncertainty though she sees it's not as scary/intimidating as it sounds on paper.

For example you'll tell her of your executive dysfunction and she'll get so nervous and absolutely blow out of proportion how bad it is/looks but when she once catches you just laying around while you were meant to/want to work she's like ‘oh, that's not as bad as I thought.’

She definitely tries to help you if you need it though. If you had food sensitivity issues she would prob try to make foods you dislike taste better. 

(Even if it failed you appreciate the attempt she made.)

You also teach her how to manage some of her own habits as well by sharing your own tricks. 

Some work perfectly and she's forever grateful you told her about it, but others completely flop.

(Even for those that don't work, she also appreciates that you tried.)

Sometimes though, she's completely flabbergasted by your antics lmao. 

She’ll see you working on something new and asks you about it, to which you respond in 2x speed about how you went down a rabbit hole these past few days and now are trying to learn a completely new skill from scratch and she lost you after your second sentence.

“Okay so basically a couple of days ago I saw this person who was making some pottery and I thought about how cool that was, so I looked into it and-” 

“Wh-what…?”

Girlie means the best but she's so confused 😭 by the end of your tangent she's giving hesitant encouragement because while she has no clue what you're doing or why you seem to be having fun at least. 

But honestly Collei worries about you sometimes, but that's more because she's anxious and even if she's been around you for years can probably never fully get used to your antics lmao. 

She's worried that others will see you as weird since at times you can be so unapologetic with your ADHD and worries you won't fit in.

She's too sweet. 

You always reassure her that even if that did happen, you wouldn't want to be friends with people who think you being yourself was weird or a bad thing.

If you keep this up you're going to completely rewire Collei’s brain. 

You probably inspire Collei quite a bit. She's a shy person so seeing you so open with your disability (and helping Collei with hers as well) makes her look up to you a little. She thinks it's so cool you can be so upfront and honest about it without really worrying about what others think of it. 

At some point, Tighnari pulls you aside and thanks you for being her friend. You helped her by just being someone who can relate to and understand her in some way, something that he can't do. Showing her that no, she isn't less than just because of a disability.

Congrats you officially joined the family.

“Ah, y/n! There you are! I um, have been meaning to give this to you… it's a plush of that character you like a lot! You've helped me a lot so I… wanted to give this to you as thanks! I-I hope you like it!”

Cyno

Congrats Cyno for being the only one on this list to know what ADHD is besides just knowing it exists!!!!!!

Fr tho I think Cyno knows a good bit about ADHD, like how it ties into other mental disabilities, sensory issues or even things like going non verbal… but at the same time he falls for a lot of the misinformation/generalizations about it as well 💀💀💀

If you mask well, he absolutely will not be able to tell you had ADHD. Completely unaware of it LMAO. But he's trying, give him a break.

It might even take a bit longer to explain to him since you have to correct any misinformation he has about it unlike the others who come in with mostly a blank slate. 

Like, no Cyno, not everyone is super hyper. No, not everyone is unable to sit still. No, some of us can mask. No, we aren't all connected to the ground itself- where'd you even hear that from!?

He grasps onto it pretty quickly though, and he remembers everything you say about it. And by extension, how it affects you specifically. 

“You shouldn't buy that.”

“?? Why?”

“It has that material you dislike the texture of in it.”

“Oh shit I didn't notice-”

Tbh Cyno is probably one of the best people to help with your ADHD since he's so observant. He’ll recognize when you're about to hit your sensory limit, remind you to do things you forget, and even helps you when your executive dysfunction is acting up. 

Although Cyno isn't perfect at everything and… honestly, you'll probably lose him at a couple parts.

He doesn't mean to be rude or anything, but some parts he just genuinely does not get. 

That doesn't mean he doesn't respect them or anything, but like when he hears you talk about verbal stims he’ll both think ‘huh that's kinda weird how they have certain vocalizations they like to say I don't think I've heard of that before’ and ‘it's cool they feel safe enough around me to tell me that I wonder what their vocal stims are’ simultaneously. 

Mans doesn't fully understand why you do some of the things you do (and tbf you don't either) but he also doesn't care as long as you're happy.

And while he's a great help, you can't forget that this is Cyno. Since he's helping you so much you know there's only one way to pay him back…

It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!!

That's right he forces you to play tcg with him LMAO.

He doesn't really care if you've never played before or not, he will lend you his cards and teach you right then and there if he must.

And if he gets you hooked on it? (or you already are hooked on it) Oh boy-

You two could battle each other for hours, you both probably have before. Cyno is so happy to have someone who likes the game as much as he does tbh. Even if you're not a pro, he still enjoys the battles. 

And if you are a pro, then you may just confuse everyone else around you with your in depth conversations about the most optional strategies and best support cards. 

But if you're not talking about and/or playing TCG, he'd love to hear about your current hyperfixations. He can keep up with you if you talk at 2x speed so don't be afraid to go crazy with it lmao.

He’ll listen attentively and even ask questions about it every now and then, but he tends to keep quiet when you talk about your own interests. Content to just listen to you ramble on and on. 

However with all this new information about your hyperfixation you've given him you accidentally made a monster. Because now that he knows how it works/what it's about, Cyno is going to make bad dad jokes about it and you can't stop him.

When he sees you again he'll tell you his new greatest joke about your hyperfixation. 

“So you remember when you info dumped about that book series to me yesterday?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“*Pulls out a written list* okay so I've got some new jokes about it and-”

Please he's SUCH a dork. Laugh at them he’ll be so happy about it.

He’ll be even more happy if you make your own jokes/add onto his. You literally just made this mans whole month with that. 

Cyno may even repeat these jokes to others if your hyperfixation is something well known.

Cyno will also probably find himself repeating some of your own stims (verbal and non verbal) too. Generally he only does your quiet/silent ones, (quiet humming, tapping a pen, clenching and unclenching his fists, etc…) 

I like to think that once or twice he repeated one of your more bizarre vocal stims and then just. Didn't elaborate.

He probably won't even notice himself doing it until someone else points it out. He doesn't mind it though, just probably was surprised he did it at all lol.

At first Cyno would probably see your ADHD antics as strange (and to an extent, he still kinda does lol) but takes it in stride. As said before he's of the mindset of ‘as long as they're happy and not hurting anyone I don't mind.’

After a while though it definitely grew on him lmao. Now he actively initiates conversations about it to better understand you and your adhd. 

If you ever feel upset about your ADHD he's kinda shocked because you probably never mentioned it before. Def the type to listen to your worries and calmly yet rationally tell you how that's actually not as bad as you think it is. Besides, you have like a thousand other redeeming qualities, so what if you can't always pay attention? Who else is Cyno going to duel with on a random Saturday afternoon?

… Yet even after learning all this about ADHD, he's still going to come to you asking weird questions.

“Y/n, is it true that people with ADHD like shiny things?”

“Cyno, that's every human.”

“Oh.”

He tries his best, okay?

Ending note: Annnnnd that's a wrap! Sorry if this one is shorter/less detailed than the last one but i'm tired. However if I don't do this now I probably won't post it later because of a lack of confidence oof. Anyways thanks for reading this far and I hope you liked it!

Also what characters do u think I should do next if any?

[jxydiel]

Dean winchester x trans male!reader

I believe it can also be read as not romantic but Dean use a lot of sweet nicknames.

Note : I was really uncomfortable today and I needed some comfort so I wrote this. English is not my first language so sorry if there’s mistake

Tw: dysphoria, I don’t know if it’s a bit angst at the beginning since (y/n) is really uncomfortable with himself.

But technically it’s just fluff because I needed it x)

->

It was summer and the sun was blasting horribly armed with his warmth. (Y/N) could see by the window of ‘baby’, people sweating even in shorts and t-shirt and that was so mood wrenching. Everything was shining brightly hurting his eyes.

Dean was blasting some Metallica, humming and tapping the steering wheel rhythmically while Sam was side eyeing him. They were all out on the hunt heading to some ladies house for investigation. Strange things have been seen and it was their duty to take care of it.

Sam was the one who founded the case while reading some news paper. It was easy, not nerve wreaking. It was supposed to be a nice and calm day. If only that was really true.

When (Y/N) was preparing himself to go, he knew how hot it was today and putting just some pants and a t-shirt would seem to be a good idea but something was feeling so wrong. He was watching himself, in the mirror of that impersonal bathroom, from head to toe. He couldn’t help himself but to feel disgusted, maybe the pants were too tight or the shirt stopped too high showing his hips way too much or even his chest was showing off too much. The young man didn’t found his binder in his stuff and didn’t wanted to make the two Winchester wait so he just told himself that everything was fine even tho it was not. He tried to forget all the thoughts and doubts he had and left the bathroom. (Y/N) definitely hated summer and that was even an understatement.

That’s how he ended being so grumpy and uncomfortable in the back of that car, pulling his shirt away from his body. On normal days he would have been singing with Dean way too loudly, annoying Sam but today he was way too silent to the brothers liking. Something was off with the boy and they both knew it but no one asked for now.

The three of them arrived at the house and (Y/N) was already regretting getting out of his sit. He felt naked, like everyone was watching at him intensively. That was kind of suffocating. Everything was awful, everything was so wrong with him. His head was looking down at his body and he knew he made a big mistake. He just wanted to become invisible right now and just go back home.

The brothers were waiting for him in the most complete silence and he joined them when he realised, ashamed. Dean knocked on the door after looking at (Y/N) with unspoken worries. The woman opened the door and stared at the three mans heavily. (Y/N) didn’t wanted to be there, he wanted to escape and go back in the car where he felt more safe. The gaze of that woman was burning his skin.

Dean took care of explaining everything at her and she let them enter the place. Sam started the little questioning after she let them sit on the old sofa, the fabric of which seemed to escape, revealing the moss inside. Being sat made it a bit better for (Y/N) but he was still absent, not concentrate on anything that was being said. He couldn't stop thinking about his appearance, his thoughts tormenting him relentlessly. He was playing with his hands trying to be forgotten, be the ghost they were hunting. The older brother put an hand on his shoulder and whispered “Are you alright sweetheart?” The young man startled, not expecting any touch and only nodded in return not wanting to worry any of them but it was kind of late for that knowing the look on dean’s face.

The latter tried to focus on the business but seeing (Y/N) like this was making it hard. The two of them were so close that they technically never needed to speak to each other to know that something was off. He whispered again softly to the young man by his side “follow me” and left the couch heading outside. When something was wrong, he had to fix it as soon as possible, as he couldn't bear to see the other unhappy. “We’re coming back” he warned his lil’ brother and the client. (Y/N) didn’t wanted to stand up because he would become more visible, at the mercy of all judgment. but he did follow Dean outside the house. He would do anything for Dean and vice versa.

The older brother stood in the front yard with a concerned frown as (Y/N) got closer to him. He clearly noticed how the other was endlessly adjusting his shirt again and again avoiding his eyes and he just realised what was happening. Dean didn’t needed to ask anything, he just took off his jacket and put it on the other’s shoulders. “Here you go my handsome man” Strangely Dean was always wearing something on top of his shirt even in summer and he was thanking himself for this on the moment.

(Y/N) smiled at Dean, hiding himself in the big jacket. He whispered “thank you” and Dean answered an “Of course love”. (Y/N) put the jacket correctly and yes it was definitely better but even tho, now, he was just feeling like a fraud. The young man sighed and apologised for creating some kind of problems but Dean reacted so quickly “Eh you have nothing to be sorry for, it’s not your fault Okay ?” (Y/N) simply nodded in response. Dean put his hand on the head of the other caressing his hair with the utmost gentleness.

“Do you want me to drive you back to the motel ? We can let Sam take care of this.” Dean asked after a long silence. (Y/N) wanted to say yes so much but he didn’t wanted to bother the two mans. It was work right now, he needed to be professional. “No, I don’t want to bother. I’m alright now.” He simply responded. “You’re never bothering sweetheart you know that. Are you sure ?” “Yes don’t worry about it. Thank you tho.” And they both went inside the house again.

When they came back inside the woman asked them if they wanted to drink something and misgendered (Y/N). She didn’t knew. It wasn’t her fault. But (Y/N)’s heart broke in pieces and everything was so wrong again. Sam was the one who corrected her pretty quickly and she apologised. “It’s fine. You don’t need to apologise.” Replied the young man to relieve her. However, when (Y/N) looked up at Dean he saw his murderous gaze that was frightening the client horribly and it made him chuckle a bit. “Don’t stare like that. It’s fine” (Y/N) pushed Dean’s shoulder playfully trying to reassure him but his eyes were still sad and the other saw it.

“Well we’re leaving the questionary to our associate there’s other thing we need to take care of.” Dean announced pointing Sam. The lil’ bro nodded agreeing with no words to Dean’s decision. They both knew it was for the better. The big brother left the house with a quick goodbye and (Y/N) followed again. “But I said I was fine staying.” Dean stopped walking and looked at him. “I’m doing it for me, I would have killed her.” And it was half a lie.

(Y/N) smiled brightly at Dean and entered the car next to the taller one. When Sam wasn’t there the front sit was his. And sometimes even when Sammy was there they switched places.

Dean drove quite quickly to the motel and when he entered the bedroom he went directly to his stuff to found some clothes of his. He knew (Y/N) always liked wearing his clothes when he was feeling down. It gave him some more comfort. He threw the clothes at the boy who escaped in the bathroom. The young man was back a small time after and Dean was looking at him sitting on the bed. “Are you feeling better ?” The latter asked with a serious frown. “Yes thank you Dean. You’re the best.” (Y/N) replied sitting by his sides. “I know” They both smirked and laughed. Dean felt a little helpless when this happened because no one could control it, but he would give everything he had so that (Y/N) would never have to feel so bad again.

“You’re the most handsome man on this planet I hope you know that.” Dean stated genuinely going for a hug. (Y/N) hugged him back tightly, hiding himself in the bigs arms of the other. He was feeling safe now. Everything would be alright. They both lay down on the bed while the older brother turn the TV on for some ridiculous but funny show to change the other mind. “Sammy will call when he’s done. I will help him with the rest but you can stay here” (Y/N) nodded. “Okay. Be careful you two” “we always are no worries.” They both smiled at each other and (Y/N)‘s head rested on Dean’s chest hearing his heart beat fast as he breath in and out. “Next time something like that happens don’t wait that long. We will, Me and Sam, always do anything for you to be comfortable.” “Yes, thank you Dean.” They rested like that for a while Dean making sure (Y/N) was laughing and feeling better until it was time for him to go help his brother.

[fizzy-tizzy]

Headcanons for all the survivors gender/sexuality

Wilson- Just Kinda decided he was gonna be a boy when he was like 8 and his dad was so desperate for an heir that didn’t want him dead to rights he just kinda let it happen. would fuck anyone but at the same time is not interested at all

Willow- Butch-ish but more in a tomboy kinda way. genuinely likes wearing skirts and more feminine clothing but doesn’t really think she deserves to? if that makes sense? (She doesn’t really feel like a genuine legit girl) hardcore lesbian.

Wolfgang- Very traditionally masculine but in the “My job is to protect and take care of everyone” and not the “im a man so I can do whatever I want” type way. Gay but could totally be in a lavender relationship/marriage and have no problems w/ it

WX-78- Born a cis female, figured out early on that wasn’t right but couldn’t change it until they were an adult. Transed their gender but then figured out being a male wasn’t right either. eventually found someone who felt similarly and abandoned their flesh for the machine. solidly aroace. they’re triple a (agender, asexual, aromantic) just like batteries

Wickerbottom- cis female and “traditionally” feminine, has never felt the need to explore or question it. Used to be married to a man who was secretly gay and looking for someone similarly emotionally unavailable. He has since passed but left wicker a small fortune so. alls well that ends well ig

Wes- kind of a stereotypical femme twink. The kinda gay whos loud and proud and will hit you with a brick if you have a problem with that. feels obligated to help the others try and figure themselves out- esp the ones who are more in denial abt it

Maxwell- I think the idea that max is trans and Jack is cis and they turned out looking the exact same is hilarious. Technically the only ppl who knows he’s trans are jack and charlie- their parents just think he’s a masculine woman and everyone else knows him as a man. Bi and so so weak for bears and gently bossy women.

Wendy- Non-binary but still in the process of realizing it. Does not give a single shit abt romance but would totally be qpp with Webber once they know what that means.

Woodie- Probably Not Cis but has too much religious trauma to even dare questioning himself. He’s like JUST accepted the fact that he’s gay (still thinks hes going straight to hell but we’re working on that) so ynknow baby steps. baby steps. Deffo has a shit ton of body dysphoria due to the wereforms tho

Webber- Since spiders work a lil different in the constant (probably more like bees) there are like three genders Webber could potentially see themselves as. Drone, warrior, and queen. During his childhood he thinks of himself mostly as a drone but as he gets older and his sway over the spiders increases they’ll shift into seeing themselves as more of a queen. But other that he’s pretty much whatever non-spider gender is most convenient. Definitely bi.

Wigfrid- her gender is… strange. What she outwardly presents is her character’s way of presenting herself so ig I see her as kinda fluid? Idk valiant-valkyrie if ur reading this you can probably do a better job of explaining it. you are the defacto wigfrid authority. Definitely lesbian but once again will do whatever the role requires

Winona- Solidly butch lesbian. Definitely a caretaker and a protector but in the butch kinda way and not the femme kinda way. if that makes sense.

Wurt- Butch but hasn’t really realized it yet. does not think human genders apply to her bcs she’s a merm and will 100% be king when she grows up. baby lesbiab. her and wilba’s eventual union shall bring peace to the pig/merm kingdoms once and for all

Wortox- human genders do not apply to him. They are whatever is most convenient at the time. Fluid like loki and bugs bunny.

Walter- if xenogenders existed back then he would totally be like pupgender/buggender. Non-binary but has no problem being called a boy/man. Would be fine with any prns but people have only ever used he/him for him. Probably going to be a monsterf*cker when he grows up.

Wormwood- He is plant. Plants have sexes but no genders and wormwood is intersex anyway but they kinda just chose the first option presented to him once he found the others. Loves all but has absolutely no interest or idea about non-plant reproductive activities.

Walani- Yknow that “as a girl who’s a gross dude men who are fancy ladies are my best friends”? Yeah that’s her and Warly. she’s the emotional support golden retriever to warly’s high-strung cheetah. Lesbian but like. endearingly loser lesbian who’s only ever smooth when she’s not trying to be.

Warly- as mentioned before he is very much a guy who is a fancy lady. Would probably do drag if he had the chance and would 100% be the baddest bitch who makes all the men question their sexuality. Gay and european.

Wanda- doesn’t have time for all that gender questioning bullshit she just wants to kiss women.

Wheeler- Solid futch, leans more feminine or masculine depending on the situation. Woman-leaning bisexual, has probably fucked someone wife and inadvertently caused a divorce.

Woodlegs- pretty solidly cis male but 100% an embarrassing old gay grandpa. Doesn’t know much abt the terminology but is incredibly supportive and was definitely a homewrecker back in the day. Probably got out of at least one arrest by seducing the naval officer meant to bring him in

Wilba- high femme and definitely a baby lesbian. I do really like the idea of her being trans just because why not so why not. She and wurt are fat femme x fat butch once they grow up

Wagstaff- born as a girl but realized he hated it and made attempts to transition early on. Eventually ran away to America to fully transition. Non-binary too but hasn’t realized it yet and just thinks that everyone feels weird when someone calls them mr or sir. men-liker and old man yaoi certified

Wilbur- yes I’m doing the monkey. Gender is a strange concept to him, so he just kinda calls himself male bcs apparently he is? He doesn’t really understand it but it seems to be pretty important in human society so he’ll do it if it means he gets respected as an actual person and not just some sideshow.

[our-trans-youth-experience]

Hi. My name is Angel, I go by all pronouns (neos & xenos included), I'm genderfluid and I'm 16 years old.

This is an interesting experience of mine, because I reflect about it and I realise “wow, if my parents raised me with both girl and boy shit, maybe I would have realised I'm trans sooner”.

Basically, I was raised as a girl all my lifetime. From my childhood to now, I'm raised and referred to as a girl even tho I already know I'm not. But here's a tiny little event that happened to me when I was 8 and in 3th grade:

There was a gymkhana at my school, and there was a crossdressing challenge. Boys would wear girls clothing and vice versa.

When my class was preparing, they choose me to use the boys clothing (it was my fault by the way, because my curious ass was the nearest to the box that had the outfits 😭) and I was like: “What? Why me, I ain't got nothin to do with this shit! >=(” I tried to protest, but they shushed me because we had little time.

And that's how I was Pedro for the first and last two minutes of my life.

I was angry, obviously. But the difference is, I thought it was because they were masculine outfits and not because I was floating in these senseless game, specially after I overheard my dad and my brother talking about how sinful it was to use clothes for the opposite gender. I deadass thought the gymkhana forced me to sin, whathafuckkk☠️☠️☠️☠️

But in reality, I was like “Quit this drama, crunchy looking ass.” when a boy said he felt ridiculous when wearing the women's clothing.

That teenage boy was having gender dysphoria over the opposite gender clothing. I wasn't. Every other cis person was uncomfortable wearing clothes they normally wouldn't wear at that situation. I was the only one who was upset over being shoved onto something I had nothing to do instead of the outfit I was wearing and the name I was using for two minutes.

And looking back, I realise that I didn't show many genderqueer traits as a kid because I wasn't able to, nor given the opportunity (the only time I did that as a child was walking on the streets shirtless and I got reprimanded by my parents for that (understandable, on the one hand, cause my breasts were starting to develop and I had gone to a neighbor's house that they didn't trust)). I didn't show genderfluid traits as a kid because the only option I had was femininity and nothing else.

Help, in conclusion, I was never a cis girl after all. I was always trans. And even if Pedro didn't had much effect on my journey, I really have to thank him for this experience and the reflections around it. =3

I'm glad you have worked out who you are, thanks for sharing your experience!

[sexisdisgusting]

ALSO SORRY FOR SO MANY ASKS DJHDFJHDJHD

but do you or any other radblr lesbian girlies have advice for dealing with a "conventionally attractive" body aka an oversexualized body? big ass, big tits, small waist. I hate how i was groomed into believing that coping with sex was okay. i hate how i tried "being more feminine". like i can never get that money back and i can never take back the times ive let those men use me. it sucks. what sucks even more was that ofc it was other women, the handmaidens, who were the main ones to perpetuate that agenda. Because if men were like "yeah its okay to wanna be raped again <3 and getting with men to play out past trauma" then everyone would know their intentions. but no, it was seeing all the women be like "omg this helped me a lot <333 !! and im so much more happy now!!". showing off their age regression stuff. god i hate it. Without those women, there wouldnt have been anything to begin with. I wish more women saw through that BS.

also, to cope with gender dysphoria (like actual gender dysphoria) all ive been doing is just objectifying myself. since my body is very "feminine". its the fucking Porn Artist stereotype. I hate it. I feel like a walking object. I feel like its why I wanted to be a boy, like i wish I had no tits and no ass. because then i wouldnt be sexualized. Buying clothes to "hide" my body doesnt help because then i feel bulky/stuffy and overwhelmed. I hate how i use my body for social validation since because my face is deformed, its all I basically have.

lol im kinda glad though that I struggle with this in a way.... because it made me detrans. Especially seeing as i didnt even feel accepted as trans since I was a transmed. And then seeing these "omg trans healthcare saves lives, tho!!" people go about supporting literal AGPs truly peaked me. When my one ex friend group all trooned out at once, all the men being AGP anime / porn obsessed freaks who previously made fun of my trauma and victim mentality (despite me literally being marginalized) .... now theyre all pretending to be oppressed despite being white men from upper middle class families. Like damn, I AM NOT being in that community then. If that gets accepted? Yet me and my gender dysphoria diagnosis at a young age wasnt? Then nah. Its all nonsense.

i wish lesbian spaces werent taken over bc all this shit be isolating. Like im so sick of sex and porn and all that, i want LOVE goddamnit. Love and friendship. I am so burnt out, dude.

HIIIII MY LOVE, thank you so much for your ask

ugh i can feel first hand how tired you are with this shit in your wording, and i can relate, its really fucking draining

reading about your journey was really interesting, thank you for sharing it with me, im so happy you feel im a safe space for you because thats what i aspire to be <3

ALSO u dont have to apologize for sending a lot of asks, i love it

i feel for you, mootina

its hard to truly love your body and accept it as yours especially when you see pornsick idiots fetishize it

i read recently about the concept of body neutrality, and its where instead of praising, or hating your body, you simply thank it for doing all it does for you, i think perhaps looking into that will help you feel more in tune with yourself, and your body

also, of course this goes without saying, but feminist literature can help you, and also researching the female anatomy

in my struggles with my body, learning more about the capabilities of it helped me a lot with how i felt regarding it, and made it easier to tune out the fuckery of whatever anyone else has to say about it

i love you so much, ill leave the floor open for anyone else who has advice for you

thank you again for entrusting me with this <3

[autogynocrat]

genuinely curious, what made you jump from femboy/twink to coming out as trans?

my partner knew i was on hrt and let me talk about it in a way that i felt being comfortable being honest and gave me the option going by she/her if i preferred that when at the time i didn't want to tell anyone bc i felt like i would be forcing them

long read ahead:

i lost the repression battle against the dysphoria i had been silently having since around 20, although at the time i didn't really have a name for the feeling, i didn't think it counted as dysphoria so i went all that time justifying myself as "i can't be trans bc i don't have dysphoria and you have to be dysphoric to be trans" and trying to tell myself that i could just keep being a feminine male

well my "not dysphoric" ass would try to shave her face to the point of skin irritation and razor burn to try and get rid of the facial hair and when i couldn't id fall into a spiral of depression where i couldn't bring myself to get out of bed

well in 2020 around the time of my birthday i was going through one of thosr little episodes but this time i kept seeing on twitter places i could order hrt from discreetly and i thought h hey maybe i could try this and ill just stop if it's not right for me.

i talked to some friends i trusted and then ordered my stuff but for a while i was "still a boy tho this is just like when body builders take steroids its not Gender ok maybe im nonbinary it doesn't matter tho" but then people started she-ing and ma'aming me unprompted and it made me feel good inside but then i kinda kept that secret bc i was like Afraid of telling anyone.

but my partner would ask me about the hrt and my gender stuff and helped me feel more comfortable talking about it like in an honest way and asked me if i would prefer to be called she and i said yes that was basically the first step for me to like admitting it to myself and anyone else in any real capacity. i think if it werent for them making me feel comfortable talking about it then id still be pretending it was all an irony poisoned joke

[juvederm]

my trans josh stuff timeline + hcs

age 7-8 - experienced dysphoria, only wore boys clothes, didn't respond to his birth given name. his dad didn't approve but his mother was supportive. she let him cut his hair and asked what he wanted to be called instead. this was the socially transitioning stage. his mom sorted shit out w the school regarding role call and attendance. none of his classmates rly caught on either

age 12 - with help from his mom, he was able to go on blockers. he dressed very conservative, always covered up and wore beanies a lot. his parents disagreed w each other over his transitioning, since his mom approved basically all of it but his dad didn't (he never said it to josh's face tho)

age 15-16 - went on T, but was only on it for 8 months due to mood complications and just bc he felt comfortable enough with himself and the changes he'd gone thru which had been the significant drop of his voice and facial changes

age 17 - style evolved to less conservative outfits, he actually wore short sleeves and shit instead of covering himself up. boost of confidence really.

headcanons involved in this timeline

- is stealth

- already kinda had a deep voice before T so if anything it just made it even deeper. and having a deep voice before hormones helped him pass so basically he's lucky af and i want to fkn rob him of his gender

- he alternates between a bra and a binder. in public he wears a binder, sometimes at home he wears a bra but when he's just relaxing he doesn't feel the need to do it at all (me)

- he wasn't out at all in hs about anything, not even his sexuality (bisexual but sometimes i go between that and gay idk i can't pick one), he took on this kinda masc straight archetype in order to fit in w the other guys

- not very close w his dad, at first he thought dad being distant was bc of work, but he eventually put it together that his dad didn't really approve

- parents are divorced, they argued a lot over josh's position

- he didn't date like anyone until college but even then he couldn't rly get into it bc of the fear

- his dysphoria isn't rly triggered by feminine clothes or expression, he actually has no problem w feminine presentation (like w accessories and certain clothes), he's just a boy that kept his girl clothes

- speaking of girl clothes, he lended some to jess

- he still likes majority of the stuff he had as a little girl, such as dolls and stuff but he keeps it for the nostalgia if anything

- he uses any pronouns and aligns more w gender fluidity

- is ok w like, being referred to as "girl" (in that gay way you all know it)

there's definitely more to this i'll just have to add it later idk where all my documents went so

[petrichor-reminiscence]

coming out headcanons with c!Technoblade

Warnings: cursing

Pairing: c!Technoblade x ftm!Reader

request from @pxytn-png! lovely idea btw, and also thank you for being the reason i fixed my anon issue lmao thanks for bringing that to my attention mate :) ty for the ask!

quick disclaimer before we start here: i am not trans ftm, so i cannot speak for the community and i hope i am not poorly representing all of you bois! y’all are literally so fucking valid tho like the MOST valid i sWEAR dudes, deadass. if there’s something i need to educate myself on, my inbox and dms are ALWAYS open, so please feel free to interact!

- when you came up to him one day in a cold sweat with uneven breaths, Techno immediately knew something was up. he immediately asked you what was wrong, ready to go murder whoever he had to for you, and the voices were going CRAZY with their theories and stress and worry for you

- you told him you had something to tell him, and he internally freaked out because the dumbass thought you were going to leave him or something or say you didn’t love him anymore

- blame the voices tho! they stress him out and make him overthink everything more than he already would! 

- once you came out in your way of choice, he was so relieved that you didn’t come to tell him you hated him

- and he was also so flattered and felt so loved that you felt secure enough to be more of your true self around him! the voices were flattered and happy too!

- “so, you’re a man, huh?” “yeah...” he looked at you for a moment before grinning widely, pulling you into the PHATTEST fuckin hug. “trust me, he/him just suits you better, it’s more you.” 

- the voices most certainly agree! after all, it was the true you, it was what made you feel more comfortable in your own skin.

- as he started working on your pronoun change, the voices helped out quite a lot. if he even so much as got close to even thinking the slip-up of the wrong pronouns, the voices were fuckin ON IT man. he learned pretty quickly, wanted to make you the most comfortable he could!

- every time he said ‘he’ or ‘him’ in reference to you, he couldn’t help but smile. it just reminded him that you felt secure enough to be your true self around him and that you trusted him enough to come out to him

- although he had to admit, it did lead to a little bit of confusion

- “so, that makes me... gay? or wait... well either way, i know i’m attracted to dudes obviously...”

- “do i tell Philza that i’m gay now or do i wait until Y/n decides to open up to him about himself?”

- lowkey steals clothing from other guys around the smp so you can dress more masculine if you want to. he’d offer up some of his own clothes, but he is like a seven-foot-tall fuckin piglin hybrid, massive boi, so he wasn’t sure how well his clothes would fit you

- unless you yourself are a massive boi as well, in that case he’s fine with sharing some clothes! i mean, he’d be fine with sharing either way, but like he was a firm believer in wearing clothes that fit properly so one wouldn’t have even the slightest limitation in mobility for battle 

- but if he got the opportunity to see one of his large shirts draped on his boyfriend, he might just have a heart attack

- would also have a heart attack seeing his boyfriend fitting into his shirt well and just like b r o 

- deadass would die on the spot either way, he loves you so much bro like oasijgadsoigj 

- blood god is soft for his boyfriend! so soft!

- would never admit it out loud, but the voices know and never let him forget how much of a sap he is for you 

- would help you try various things to cope with any dysphoria you might be having, like deadass mans would go to hell and back to get you anything that would make you more comfortable in your own skin. anything safe for you, that is, he wanted to make sure you weren’t hurting yourself

- s i m p, he’s a simp your honour, s to the i to the m to the p 

- overall, having you come out to him and having a boyfriend now took a little bit of getting used to but it was an amazing change (the word ‘change’ used lightly, because it wasn’t even much of a change at all. just a pronoun change bro, you’ve always been a man, the only change was that you felt secure enough with techno to tell him ^^)

- not only were you more yourself, but he got to know you that much more, and when you’re your true self around him is when he just falls in love with you more and more each day <3

[questioning-culture-is]

advice needed!

okay so i am afab, i’m not opposed to being a girl it doesn’t feel like bad socially to be called a girl but i kind of want to be a boy??

okay so it’s christmas right? well i was with my cousin and i haven’t seen them in a while and one of them who is a few years older than me and is amab was wearing a similar hoodie to me and were cousin so we look similar, and it just struck me how much i wanted to look like him, like we look really similar he’s just older and amab while i’m younger and afab and i really want to look like him, i want his floofy yet masc hair cut, i want his flat chest

i want to be me but masc

last year i asked my gay friends to call me a more masc name and he him pronouns and it Felt Good, it felt confusing but Good

now i don’t see them much and my cishet friends are all afab and call me my real name and she her pronouns and it’s fine it’s not bad

i don’t know some days i really don’t like my boobs some days there fine i’m still in puberty tho and o really don’t want them to go up in size i don’t want the bigger and sometimes i want them gone, like right now

right now i desperately want the floofy yet masc hair and the flat chest and the medium voice (not deep just deeper than mine)

most days i don’t really feel this i feel just fine i don’t think about

i don’t want boobs but i don’t really want a dock? idk maybe just not right now

they them pronouns don’t feel good but he him do and she her are just eh no feeling really

i just don’t want to come out to anybody but my gay friends my staight one’s are just girls and that feels weird, my parents still ask me every once in a while if i’m still a lesbian so maybe i shouldn’t come out to them lol

i play all girls sports (coed isn’t really an option) so i don’t know if i want to come out there

but i feel super comfortable doing this around my gay friends

i don’t know i want to look masc but also i don’t hate my fem body honestly idk it’s a lot

maybe i’m cis maybe i’m trans maybe i’m genderdluid (for some reason i really don’t want to be genderdluid i want to be a cis girl or a trans guy nothing else)

i don’t know maybe you can help maybe you can’t but uh yeah that’s my rambles, sorry this is so long

ps people say they are attached to their gender but i’m not really attached to the idea of being a girl it’s just what i am??? i don’t know i can’t explain it

Alright so, whether you are cis or trans, you can still express your gender however it feels most comfortable to you. So you can be cis and go by he/him if you prefer that.

It sounds like you don't have a lot of gender dysphoria, which can be confusing because trans people are often portrayed as hating their bodies before they transition. There are many trans people who experience little to no dysphoria though, so maybe that's true for you as well.

Another option might be bigender, so being both a girl and a guy.

Hope that helps

@transmasc-culture-is @bigender-culture-is

-toni

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

Hi. I decided to send this ask because of your latest reblog (about the "new genders" often reinforcing gender stereotypes). I might be wrong (and please feel free to correct me if so), but sometimes for me it looks like people are just ashamed and or hurt of the word "woman". I've seen people, who were okay with their body, presenting femininely, just didn't want to be called a woman, because they "didn't feel like other cis-women". As if cis-women are a sort of hivemind... I can understand, if the word holds unpleasant connotations for them, be it due to societal influence or personal history, and be it far from me to tell people, what to call or consider themselves. But I still can't see this trend as something good.

Buckle in my friends. I can tell this is gonna be long post. Warning up front-- this will be VERY much USA centered cuz that's the culture I know best. If anyone from anywhere else wants to add on with their own takes feel free.

You're right and you should say it. But to add on to it:

It's not just that there is shame or hurt in being called a women, but also a whole culture built around what a women should be. I'm not talking old house wife stereotypes here (tho that's connected). I'm talking about how modern media and peers view the "idea" of being a women.

There are a lot of expectations and conflicting ideas (not saying men don't have this either, but they have different expectations and ideas and thats for another post. This one is strictly about women). On top of that, there is a LOT of violence against women in the media. I'm not going to go into statistics of real life violence cuz that's just asking for a fight in my notes. So I'm gonna stick with the media right now.

When you constantly see violence of a specific kind on tv you start to be more careful in real life. On top of that, trust me when I say, a majority of women have dealt with a creepy guy. I got groped by a grown ass man during a field trip when I was 14. I've gotten teenage boys following me and a friend, harassing me on bicycles asking me to do a 3 sum while I was in college. Many women have stories of men who have harassed them-- some violent, some not. But when you're exposed to shit like that on a regular, it's not hard to make a connection between being a women = being in danger.

Add to that the expection of how to act in society. You can't get a professional job unless you wear makeup (or have REALLY good skin). If you don't smile people assume your mad, and smiling all the time is tiring (let people have nutural expressions). Since I've been able to start passing as a man, my outfit expectations from others have got a lot more relaxed. I know plenty of women who have felt super pressured and sometimes even deal with trauma from gender stereotypes/pressures/roles/whatever (again, men also suffer from this, but thats for another post).

Add on just general sexism and you have a lotta women who don't like being women strictly because of how they are expected to look and act. It has nothing to do with their actual physical sex, and everything to do with the environment around them. Thus, their disconnect from "womenhood" isn't dysphoria based, rather societial pressured based.

In this case, there are people creating new genders because they don't like their birth one based off of outside factors (being trans is based on internal factors). It's based on how they're treated as their birth sex, on stereotypes, on how media portrays them, on the pressures they face, on how they're forced to act. Unfortunately, creating new genders won't fix that. They'll have the same issues as before.

Basically: The solution here is to stop sexism, gender roles, and societal pressures based on gender. NOT making up new genders. It's important to help these people feel comfortable as themselves, and it's good they're trying to help themselves. But the solution they've come up with isn't going to work. The solutions that work are often the hardest ones to solve. I can't say I know the best way to end the stigma we have in our culture nor the gender roles that are enforced. But I do know that the best course of action is addressing gender roles and letting people be themselves regardless of their gender.

[smallcrystals]

TRANS MAN TIMBER PLSSSSS I NEED THIS SERATONIN

AND SERATONIN YOU WILL GET

so for some context for this headcanon: timber is afab, his family is from south asian descent, and his parents died when he was around ten

and this is LONG so buckle up !!!

timber was brought up knowing the general idea of a boy and a girl but he didn't really understand why he had to stick to one if he didn't feel like it. his parents tended to avoid the topic of gender and sexuality as a whole so he didn't have much to go by. he confined his thoughts of feeling more like a guy with gloriosa and she made sure he didn't face any queer discrimination from anyone to keep him safe

after their parents died, timber was kind of free to consume more diverse content since he had no one else to tell him not to, so he was pretty accepting of being gay and trans at a young age, reading books he asked gloriosa to get for him

he had to grow up fast so he ended up reading a lot of young adult at 12-13 (since there was more likely gonna be gay/trans ppl in those compared to books for his age)

despite not having a lot of trans rep, he had the internet due to his homeschooling. he was able to research a lot more abt being trans so he'd be more educated and helpful towards them (he sometimes brushed off the feeling of relating too hard to trans men, thinking he was just a really hardcore tomboy)

he realised he found himself attracted to girls and had various crushes but bc of the fact he felt like a boy, he mixed that up with attraction to boys (which he always 'had' since he thought he was a cishet girl at one point). but he still found boys cute and wanted to kiss them so :]

timber liked helping out at the camp a lot with wood and stuff since their dad at the time was the only "man" in the house. his dad didn't think anything of it and was just glad someone could help him out for once, so that continued on after they passed

timber preferred keeping his hair short since it got annoying bc of the curls. he kept it shoulder length until after his parents passed, then he asked gloriosa to cut it even shorter to the hairstyle he has now. my boy cried when he looked at himself in the mirror

it was around 14 where he realised he may be a boy and not a girl when his body started developing. he never got any bottom dysphoria so periods were never a massive thing for him (he just found them annoying) but he didn't like having boobs 😭

gloriosa managed to get T for him as a surprise one day and timber. like. SOBBED

she helps him take it when necessary until he got the hang of it himself and it just very helpful :(

timber noticed how much stronger he was getting after a few weeks on T and he got so excited. he was already strong beforehand so man just got stronger

he binds until he can get surgery which he gets at 18 (so yes in loe he is binding :>)

but it's actually rlly annoying bc man develops double d cups and is like . WHEN CAN I GET RID OF THESE THEY SUCK so he ends up only binding during camp sessions and doesn't when there aren't any campers at everfree

present day timber when someone comments rudely abt why he got top surgery and not bottom: LISTEN I JUST DIDN'T WANT FEMALE DOUBLE D BOOBS ON MY BODY IS THAT SO BAD???

he realised he liked people regardless of gender so he ids as pan! he's never really found a label for himself until he realised he's trans (he's known pre-loe)

he comes out to twilight after she tells him she's bi, so he comes out as pan and trans (a lot more nervous abt the trans bit but she's completely supportive abt it!!)

twilight gladfully reminds timber to take his hormones bc man forgets sometimes 😔 makes a timetable and everything and timber is just..... head in hands

this is my friend maisa's hc but i had to put it in here bc it's so cute:

timber is. so funny when ppl ask him invasive questions like it's none of your business !!!!

"whoa dude youre stronger than me and i'm the real man here" "oh what if i break your real man nose and kick you in the real man nuts then what"

timber gets top surgery done and it goes well!! since he's got a lot of muscle, he wanted his chest to fit that and it looks great in his opinion, he's very happy !!!

timber still likes wearing skirts occasionally and he pulls them off so well. he and flash went skirt shopping once

he lets rarity put make up on him at a time and he occasionally decks up

ppl ask him why he still wears feminine stuff and short answer is "i look better in it than you :)" but rlly, it doesn't give him dysphoria! timber doesn't personally associate his sex with his gender and doesn't feel like he needs to present the way society expects him too. he just does what he does to feel comfortable and doesn't give a shit what anyone else thinks!

timber goes to rarity to get some of his ethnic clothes styled in a little more feminine way (backless salwar for example) and just gets super giddy when he wears it

mehndi (henna) is typically for girls so he wore it as a child during eid and stuff but he didn't stop as he transitioned and always goes to gloriosa to get it done bc she does it really nicely

gloriosa tells him whenever he feels down that she's very proud of him and how far he's come and she'll always be there for him no matter what :(

timber's T ends up messing w his period so sometimes it does come, sometimes it doesn't and it's absolute hell. it used to be regular before but then. 😔 he doesn't get that bad of cramps anymore tho 😎

timber shaves! being south asian, he was bound to get a lot of body hair anyway but being on T just made it. Worse. he shaves frequently and just prefers it that way for himself!

even after timbertwi break up, twi still keeps reminding him to take his T. they're still very close friends!

flash walks in to timber taking his T one day and gets concerned bc he doesn't know so he's like . "timbie what r u doing....." and timber isn't comfortable yet telling him so he says he knows what he's doing and he's not comfortable telling flash yet. flash respects him and leaves the room until timber's done

timber ends up telling him sometime soon (like a few weeks) n flash is like "OHHH you were taking your testosterone, i'm so dumb", timber says "never stopped being dumb" and flash tackles timber

timber's pretty confident in himself after a while. that's where his ego shit comes from, he tries to hype himself up despite not beliveing it or having doubts but he does eventually and he's rlly proud of himself :}

I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABT HEIGHT but timber gained tall genes from his family so he was already pretty tall before he started taking T!! he's taller than flash and he teases amab flash all the time for it hehe

and that's all so far !!! hope you got the seretonin you wanted!!

[secretlyasupervillain]

This post is basically just me ranting about gender mostly my doubts about being trans (oh and psa: they seem like big doubts but tbh they’re not and are more like small things that cause me to doubt every once in awhile). If anyone has any similar experiences please share them or if anyone has advice/info that could help please share!!

Clothes: Clothes confuse me so much because society has put such a strong presence of gender on clothes. I’ve always preferred wearing a sort of gender-neutral type of clothing style but as I’ve grown I thought I should expand my bounds and try new stuff. So I started to wear more “feminine” clothes, I got a crop top, decided I might wear my dresses more, got some blouses instead of T-shirts, etc. I liked it... I think... that’s where it gets confusing for me. I dunno if trying something new and exciting was the reason for liking it, an actual liking of the clothes, I liked it or faked liking it because subconsciously I thought I should like it cuz I was a “girl”, or just cuz I looked good wearing them. Also now I have more of an aversion to them again and I can’t tell if I don't like them anymore because it was only a spur of the moment type of thing, I don’t look good wearing them with short hair, I just don’t like them anymore, or because I think I’m trans so I feel like I’m not supposed to like them. Also, I’ve always liked the style of masculine clothing more and wished to wear it but felt weird wearing it as a “girl” but now I’m finally letting myself explore masc clothing which is nice. Although I can’t tell if I like masc clothing cuz I just like the clothing, if I like the clothing because it helps affirm my gender, or both. (advice on how to figure out which it is would be appreciated)

Hair: Hair is also very confusing and is even more gender rooted (haha roots hair roots). I had long long hair and I liked it for the most part but I still wanted to change it for years, but I’m terrified of change so kept it the same. Finally, after my friends started chopping off their hair and I learned about gender dysphoria I cut my hair and it felt great. I love my hair but still, if I’m not trans the idea of being a girl with short hair kinda bothers me even tho I like my hair and feel like I look good (this might be me just being dysphoric about thinking about being a girl idk). The thought of going back to long hair doesn’t sound that great either tho even if I am cis.

(PS: I understand clothes and hair don’t define gender but society has shoved gender down my throat and I see a lot of these things in a gendered way so my opinion of them does have an impact on my view of my gender identity)

Looks: Ok so I like the way I look facial-wise for the most part like I feel like I’m a generically decent-looking person, but this has me a little confused. So when I was a “girl” (long hair/feminine clothes/fem presenting) I liked the way I looked and thought I was an attractive enough person and I’m worried that liking how I looked means that I might not really be trans. The thing is tho I still like the way I look now as a boy (short hair/masc clothes/as masc presenting as I can get) and think I’m an attractive enough person just in a different way. Basically, I’m kinda wondering if it’s “okay” to think about when you were fem presenting and think that you were good-looking even as a trans man?

Sexuality: Being bi is so confusing. I have no idea if I want to look like a person or date them or both. And if I knew I didn’t like girls or boys then I could tell if admiring the way the way they look and their style was more of gender envy and not an attraction and I could figure it out my identity faster but idk the difference because both are happening. (advice on how to figure out which it is would be appreciated)

Self Hate: I’ve disliked liked myself for a long time and altho I’m starting to like myself more I still don’t that much. This is adding to my doubt because what if I just want to be trans so I can change who I am and become someone new because I don’t like myself and not because I’m actually a boy.

Want/Being: I’m worried I just want to be a boy and I’m not actually one. This sounds kinda weird but like idk. I guess I mean like I’m worried I’m cis and I’m making myself think I don’t like certain pronouns and etc. because I want to be ftm/a boy but I’m actually cis.

[nothorses]

Can dysphoria be like.. more vague feelings of wrongness and days where you feel strange and like not wanting anyone to see you at all? Or seeing an old picture of you and feeling distant and embarrassed that you used to look so feminine, as if thats another person completely?

I keep worrying that im not actually trans bc i dont have like '''clear''' dysphoria, and im more like just kind of upset about some of my body parts, but not to the point where i feel like i really have to change them to be at peace, even tho i know having dysphoria isn't end all be all of the trans experience or like the *thing* that makes u trans

Like, i guess i technically know what dysphoria is, but the concept also seems very vague and i haven't had the courage to actually ask anyone what their dysphoria feels like (and im not asking you to answer this either), because it seems like such a personal question and also kinda awkward, bc i wouldn't really ask anyone how their idk depression feels like either, also im worried that i won't relate lol 😅

Anyway, i hope youre doing well. Keep rocking, king ❤️

Yeah, “a sense of wrongness” is probably one of the more common feelings of dysphoria out there!

I’ve had very dramatic dysphoria moments- when I was maybe 13 or 14 I put on a dress, looked in the mirror, and broke down crying. But I also didn’t recognize that as dysphoria at the time, I only knew that something felt “wrong” and that I couldn’t figure out what it was. I didn’t realize I was trans until I was 18. Two or three years later, I realized I was experiencing dysphoria.

I’ve had many, many more subtle feelings of dysphoria. I’ve been binding consistently for years, but I don’t notice how bad it feels not to bind until I haven’t for a few days, and I realize right after I bind again what an impact those days had on my mental health. My eyes slide off old pictures of myself, and I find myself moments later realizing that I can’t see that person as me; I have to view them as someone else, or I feel a deep-seated sense of discomfort and fear.

It’s not all tears and frustration; sometimes it’s just a creeping sense of discomfort, the feeling that something is “off”, the knowledge that you don’t fit right in your own life- even if you can’t place why. It doesn’t always come with a name (”I’m a boy”) or a direction (”I want to be a boy”). Sometimes it’s just the knowledge that you’ve got a puzzle you have to solve- but there’s no picture on the box, and you have to dig the puzzle out of a disorganized closet yourself to even start it.

A lot of the time, it helps to just... listen to it.  Oftentimes, how strong that dysphoria was to begin with won’t become obvious until you’ve been living without it for a while. Even if it’s not that strong, seek comfort and joy anyway. You deserve that.

I hope some of that resonates a little bit! This article is also really great- it outlines some of the subtler ways dysphoria can manifest.

[yendyrae]

I’ve been thinking about what I want out of transitioning

Quick tws (all relating from an ftm/ftx standpoint): talking about transitioning, testosterone, body changes, shark week mention, talk of sterilization (me wanting it), gender feels, societal expectations of trans people, top surgery, bottom surgery (specific kinds mentioned), catheter mention

If you’re family and you happen to find this post please don’t read it for your own sake lmao.

Before, I wanted to be on T forever and get a hysterectomy and top surgery. I had so much dysphoria and felt like I needed to change my body completely to ever feel ok. I bound my chest every day and consciously lowered my voice and dressed in a way that maximized my masculine features and minimized my feminine ones, without regard to how the clothes looked style-wise or how they made me feel about myself and my expression. I was iffy about bottom surgery just because the one thing I want from that isn’t really possible with the current options, and having a catheter for any amount of time scares me.

Lately tho? I’m fine with my chest. I’m looking into getting a uterine ablation and tubal removal instead of a hysterectomy. Mostly for the birth control aspects and not having shark week anymore since I have severe pmdd, I currently take continuous birth control on top of everything else to stop my shark week from happening. I’d like to reduce the amount of meds I’m on in general and those procedures would help with that. I’m also thinking about going off of T after a few years??? I’ve been on it for about a year and a half now and I like where my voice is settling but I’d like to see if I can get more body hair/ any facial hair. I haven’t had many other permanent changes on T that I’ve noticed. I’m now considering also getting some form of metoidioplasty with urethral lengthening if I’m eligible, because I still have dysphoria about using the restroom and not being able to pee standing up (I can’t use an stomp because of how my anatomy is, I’ve tried many times with many types and I can’t get any of them to work without making a mess everywhere). The catheter thing still scares me though.

Being on T has let me explore being more feminine in a context I wasn’t able to before. I’ve been working on loving my body, appreciating how it works and feels and looks. I’ve learned to love my curves and the softness of my frame. I’ve learned to smile at myself when I look in the mirror. I’ve been experimenting with makeup and fashion and how that makes me feel. I’ve been taking more selfies that I actually like per week than I did before per year.

I’ve also learned that I’m much more fluid in presentation than I thought I was. Up until now I would typically oscillate between masculine and feminine styles every 2 ish years, while lately I think that still follows (and I’m in a feminine trend rn), but I also have smaller swings inside those larger overall trends. I’ve been able to go from masculine to feminine back and forth as much as I want. And now that my voice is more androgynous, I’m consistently gendered the way I want to be and it’s very validating (side note: passing doesn’t mean you’re more or less valid than if you don’t pass, I’m just explaining how it feels when I do, and how that’s impacted me personally along my journey).

I’ve also learned that while my presentation is very fluid, my gender is not. It’s more flux if anything. I currently identify with nonbinary first and foremost, but I also identify as like. Off brand boy? Close but not quite male? A lil fella? A buddy? A pal? I do not identify with demiboy much, the term just doesn’t vibe with me. But boyflux, autigender, nonbinary, and trans masculine are terms I regularly use. I also like xeno genders, as my experience with gender is very detached and fuzzy, so it sometimes is easier to identify with concepts rather than the traditional genders with roles and rules and all that.

Welp. If you read all that. Thank you. Feel free to add discussion of gender and presentation and transitioning and all that jazz if you want. I like interacting with people and I’m open to making new friends.

Also please let me know if any of the language I used is offensive or outdated or anything!! I try to be caught up with everything but sometimes things slip by me and I want my posts to be as safe as they can be to read considering their content!

[queer-as-frikc]

My coming out story is weird, it gets a lil transphobic so tw near the end tw long post too

So, pretty much throughout my time growing up through elementary school and half of middle school, i grew up in a white middle class area. I didnt know about the LGBTQ+ or anything other than what I saw, which was white people and an occasional poc. Eventually I had to move and I ended up in a super diverse area, and ended up becoming best friends with this person (they are ftm now so imma use the right pronouns but they were f when this story mostly takes place) he told me all about things I didnt know, specifically the LGBTQ+ community and that he was pan, and it was new information so just like any 13 year old learning new things, I questioned myself, I questioned if I could like the same sex or not or possibly more.

Sadly, drama happened between my best friend, his girlfriend and I, so thing got a little weird. But there was a time in winter, when he was off that relationship for more than a month and he said he'd like to date me, and I really thought about it before hand and said yeah, I couldnt tell you how happy I was to have this experience.

I told my mom that night, in a round about way cuz I was nervous, "Hey mom, what if I liked girls?" She told me she doesnt think that I do, because I always expressed feelings for guys, and when I tell her I didnt really understand what being gay was when I was younger, I didn't really know it was a possibility. She snapped at me and said, "Unless you are willing to kiss a girl and do the other stuff, you arent gay at all."

Eventually I have a sit down conversation with her, about how confusing this all was and how I wish I knew how I felt, and so on. She said she had a similar questioning phase but it never stuck so she doesnt think I am.

Like a month later I figure it out and dude that was so gratifying. I came out as bi to my mom, who just dismissed the whole thing, but I was terrified to tell my uncle (it's a long story about that, no it's not "sweet home Alabama") because he always said bi's were wh*res so yeah. I ended up telling him, and he goes, "You know my opinion on it but that doesnt mean that I'll disown you or anything." Btw the relationship (dating wise) with my best friend after he came out as ftm because he went back to his ex, it's all cool tho.

So that was that, or so I thought. It was my first year of high school, and I finally really understood the definition of pan, what was holding me back though was the trans experience, I thought because I didnt know what it was like, I couldnt be pan, even though I didnt have a preference, turns out it just means you like people no matter their gender and it like, clicked finally so yeah. I've told my family about that since but I a similar reaction: my mom said she doesnt think I am and she lectured me on my generation having so many labels and how she hated it. My uncle said he appreciated that I was pan more than me being bi which confused me but he just had a better view of pansexual than bisexual. (I explained to both of them what the difference was but idk man)

I believe it was my second year of high school when I really started to question my gender, and that was mostly because I saw a video of what gender dysphoria looks like if it's not that strong and you arent aware for ftm. So like wearing bagging clothes all the time, always wearing sports bras, and practically no other bra, feeling really good if someone accidentally calls you sir, etc. And I was like, oml it's me. But it wasnt, I didnt find that out until later tho. So, with my friend group, I find a name that seems to fit me well and ask them to address me by it and he/him pronouns, as like a test of sorts. (All of my friends are gay in some way so it was cool) In the end tho, I got a little iffy about the whole thing and wouldnt ever correct them at times or it was just off for me. I felt really bad because I thought that they might have thought that I was just trying to force myself to be more like them, but I wasnt, i still felt bad though and kinda dropped it.

I'm not sure 100% how I figured it out tho, but I remember talking to my best friend (not the same one from middle school, they were my best friend as well but they arent the same person) about the whole experience and I believe they brought up the idea of genderfulid, and I was like :0.... what that. They explain it, you go aall over the gender spectrum, some days you might feel like a boy, others you might feel like you have no gender, some days you might feel like your gender is something completely weird and different, that's just what it is. And I was like, "It fits but like, I barely feel femme at any point in time, maybe like once a year." And they tell me, that's ok and stuff as long as my gender just decides to be a completely weird and went all over the place, it counted, so I was like, "I finally figured it out!!!" And i was so happy.

Then came the time I was comfortable enough to tell my parents. I had been using the label genderfuild for over half a year already and I thought that it was what I was so it was ok to tell them. I saw how ok me being gay went, so I was nervous but not as nervous as I should have been, probably. I told my mom first, she went on a similar rant of her no liking my generations labels and such, but it went fine, I explained it, I thought I was through, I thought I was fine, apparently not. One day I'm in the shower and I hear my mom being very expressive with what ever shes talking about to my uncle, which is fine, she needs someone to vent to sometimes. When I get out though, and I can here her clearly, I hear sees complaining about what I told her recently, that I'm genderfulid, but instead of saying that, she only says I want to be a boy. (Oh no) So shes complaining to him, asking why I cant be more like her and just be a masculine girl and be fine, why do I have to fit in with the crowd of my generation to feel special, why cant I just be fine with who I am now? Etc.

The sad thing is, that night, I was going out shopping for pants and underwear with my uncle because I needed some and I wore men's pants already at that point, because they are more durable, and stuff so I knew it was gonna be a long ride. My mom was snippy with me that whole night, just the entire time which sucked.

When we finally left to go get clothes though, I didnt know it could get worse. My uncle lectured me about how that's just my generations fad, and how his was making tattoos and piercings ok in the work place and mine is being trans a gay and all that crap, and that I'm just trying to fit in, I'm not being myself, no matter how much I chop myself up and cut my hair and take hormones my chromosomes will never change and so I can never be an actual guy. He also said that I would bring just more attention to myself being a woman who does guy things rather than try and be one, and he thinks I'm doing this all for attention. I was mad but silent at this point, I didnt want to cause anything to happen. He ended up asking me, "So did you pick a different name?" I was surprised but I said yeah, and my friends were using it and it seemed to fit better. He asked me what it was and fear over took my body. I told him, "I'll only tell you if you dont use it against me if your mad." He says, "i cant promise that." And then gets mad because I wont tell him. Though I do, because I feel obligated since hes buying me clothes. To be even more confusing, he buys me guys underwear, and undershirts along with the predetermined pants he promised me and now I'm so confused.

But it gets even worse. When we get home, my mom freaks out on him because be bought me all that mens stuff and she said he was encouraging my behavior and stuff, he defended with it's just clothes, and yah it is. Eventually things settle down, obviously my mom isnt talking to be, but that's for the best at this point. I'm in the living room with my uncle and he just then starts harassing me with questions like, how do you know? he asks. "Well, I just feel that way, same as you." I say. But why do you wanna be a guy? he asks. "I dont wanna be a guy, it's just weird that way. Also it's not me being a guy, it me being many more than that," I say. He says that's bullsh*t. I offer to show him videos that better explain what trans is and how it's an actual sciencey thing and stuff but he said he wont take a video because he wants me to say it. And then he just goes off, saying the name I picked out shows how self centered I am because I am selfish, he kept asking me if i liked to fight, to catch and play with bugs, to be strong, to be angry all the time, and all these stereotypes for men and I just left, and went to bed. He wasnt going to listen to me, so there wasnt a point to me staying.

But, it gets worse. The morning comes and I'm awoken by the slam of my door by my uncle and the laughter of my mom. My uncle starts being really aggressive and starts cleaning my room, I only have clothes on the floor mostly so that's all it was, but he starts saying, well if you're gonna be a man, imma start training you like one, the man of the house picks up after everyone, the man of the house does everything he can to help the house run smoothly, the man of the house has to be strong, and all that stuff. (Which I thought was funny because he was "the man of the house" yet I did everything, and still do. I clean up most after him, funny huh.) And, I know what's happening and so I stay in bed, I don't want this to happen. But I literally get ripped out of my bed by my uncle and get told to stop being a little b*tch and a brat because I'm being selfish by my mom and I'm yelled at to sit in the living room and wait while my uncle cleans my room. When hes done hes starts lecturing me and being all aggressive and in my face. He keeps asking me a million questions with the tone that he didnt care so I knew he wouldn't listen. Eventually, him and my mom leave, I'm told to stay there until I get back. When they do get back, they act like everything is fine, nothing happened between them and I and it's just been so hard for me to talk to them about that since.

I'm greatful that I dont have to deal with that anymore but every time something that that is brought up with my family, I panic so much now. I'm fine and I'm safe but it was very traumatic for me. And uh, thanks for listening.

hey, thank you so much for sharing your story. this was just. so heartbreaking. noone deserves to have a person like your uncle in their life. im so sorry you had to go through all of that. i hope you’re in a much better place now <3 (also i loveeddd reading about how you figured it out) =)

again, tysm <3