#for ex. my pops REALLY does not want to me to pay for anything with more than 70k. which is pretty true but also most 70k cars within a

[shummthechumm]

car shopping while everything is inflated to hell is torture actually. do i drop 5k on a well-used car and risk getting shackled to a bad vehicle; or do i take several more months to save up 10k (at minimum) to get a less-well-used car but also restricting my university progression because my campus is 40+ minutes away + im not paying for a dorm

[jaehyunnie77]

Exile

summary: you and jaehyun are endgame, or rather were supposed to be endgame. the short story of your relationship and the ending.

pairing: jaehyun x f. reader

genre: lovers to ex's | break up au | holy trinity

word count: 5.8k

warnings: cuss words, pet names (baby/babe), mentions of food, ass slapping, oral (female recieving), unprotected sex (please wrap it up), orgasm denial, a bit of dom jaehyun, creampie.

a/n: happy holidays everyone! i've been working on this on and off for i dont know how many months, but it's here now lol. thank you to this lovely anon for requesting this scenario. i swear i didn't mean for this to be so long hehe. also, exile by taylor swift ft bon iver has been stuck in my head so that's where the title came from lol. happy sad reading and any feedback is greatly appreciated.

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the meeting

“Order for Y/N.” The barista calls out. You quickly throw your phone into your bag and hurriedly walk to the counter to grab your coffee. Today, out of all days, you just had to sleep through your alarm and now you’re running late. You should have been in class ten minutes ago to prepare for the lecture to begin.

Too deep in your thoughts, you didn’t see or hear the person behind you. When you turned around, you bumped into something hard as your hot coffee spilled on the man’s shirt. Not only that, but whatever you bumped into, made you lose your balance making you land on your ass.

“Ow. Shit.” You say quietly before looking up and seeing the stain on a white crisp shirt. Petrified, you grab the napkins from a nearby table and begin patting the coffee stain hoping it would go away. “I am so sorry!” You’re not really thinking or using your brain at the moment as you keep repeating sorry.

“It’s okay.” The man chuckles deeply. He wasn’t even mad about it. When it seemed like you didn’t hear him, or stop patting his shirt, he softly held onto your wrist to halt your movements. It then registers in your brain that you are invading someone’s personal space. You slowly look up at him and he has the most beautiful brown eyes you’ve ever seen.

You quickly look away and stare at his shirt, trying to hide the smile creeping on your face. This just had to be your luck today didn’t it.

“I’m Jaehyun.” He says softly looking down at you.

Damn even his name is beautiful.

You’re still staring at his shirt to gather your nerves to calm down when you look up and tell him your name. You give him a soft smile in return before saying one last time, “I’m really sorry about your shirt. I can pay for your coffee or dry cleaning.”

All the cute man does is chuckle at your cuteness. “It’s okay. Honestly, I’ve been trying to get rid of this shirt for the longest time and now I have a reason to.” That made you laugh. At least he wasn’t yelling at you. “You can make it up to me though.”

Your eyes go wide as you violently nod your head. “Oh my god yes please. Name it. I really do feel bad even if you want to throw it away. It is the least I can do.”

He laughs at your comment, “Go on a date with me. Tonight?” He says confidently. Now that took you by surprise.

“You’re very straightforward aren’t you?” you smirk.

Jaehyun gives you a lopsided smile making his dimples pop out. “Yeah, I can be, but you did say it’s the least you can do to make it up to me.” He had you at that and you didn’t even need to second guess your answer when you said yes.

After that first interaction and date, you went on multiple dates to get to know each other. He was easy to get along with and he made you laugh uncontrollably. Something people have a very hard time doing. In all, he just made you the happiest you’ve ever been. By the third week of dating, you two were officially together.

You did everything together from dates, him picking you up from class, going grocery shopping, hanging out and not doing anything special, cooking together, singing karaoke together, and everything in between.

By the sixth month, you both met each other’s families. You’ve been in several relationships in the past, but the relationship with Jaehyun felt different. Solely because he was different. Some may say you both moved a little too quickly for their liking, but hey, once you know, you just know and you roll with it. There wasn’t anything or anyone that would make you doubt him or the love you two share.

He understood you and listened to you whenever you needed to vent and he was always there whenever you needed him. You were each other’s biggest supporters and motivators to chase after what you wanted. On top of that, he made you feel like a princess with the way he showers you with love. There are days where you can’t believe you are living out your very own fairytale of finding your true love. Of finding your prince charming and falling head over heels in love with him and living happily ever after.

Jeong Jaehyun is perfect and he is all yours.

the fourth year

A lot has happened in the last four years. After a year of dating, you two moved into a small apartment together that was only ten minutes away from your college. You both graduated college with your degrees and are currently working for your dream companies. You’ve both been on endless vacations from New York, Chicago, Canada, Milan, and London to name a few. Four years later and you still couldn’t believe the life you’ve built with Jaehyun so far.

It's a Friday night and you couldn’t wait to walk into your apartment and change into more comfortable clothes and snuggle with your boyfriend. What you didn’t expect is to be met with almost an empty apartment.

“Baby are you home?” you yell out as you take off your shoes by the door. The lights are on, his shoes are by the door, but there was no one in sight. Usually, you could hear your boyfriend anywhere in the apartment due to him having a heavy hand and being the clumsy dork he is.

“Babe?” you yell out once more as you walk further into the living room. That is when you see a note on the couch. You pick it up and read it as a smile forms on your face and the butterflies swarm in your tummy again.

Follow the rose pedals cutie.

You look down and sure enough, there are roses on the ground leading you out of the living room. You follow exactly what your boyfriend said until you reach your kitchen island with another note.

Remember this last minute trip to New York and we were in such a rush we forgot to bring jackets and we almost froze to death?

You laugh out loud because that specific trip was one of your most treasured ones with him. You both were so excited to be doing this last minute that you were not prepared whatsoever and forgot it was winter. You look up and there is a photo of you both snuggling close together in front of the Winter Garden Theatre.

You look around hoping to see him, but there was more roses to follow. At each random stop in your apartment, there was a note or a favorite memory and pictures. The roses end their trail on the balcony and as you step on that’s when you see him.

Soft music is playing in the background, lit candles are everywhere, and there is a table in the middle of your small patio. Your eyes find Jaehyun’s loving eyes and you take in his outfit – black and white suit. You look past him and see a wall full of pictures of your time together, balloons hanging from the ceiling, along with dangling lights.

“Jae, what is all of this?” you chuckle with tears forming in your eyes.

Jaehyun walks over to you and gives you a tender kiss. “Hi.” He gives you his dimple smile and turns around to give you a glass of champagne.

“Is there a special occasion I forgot about?” you softly giggle trying to mentally picture your full packed schedule.

“Y/N LY/N. You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” Jaehyun tells you. “You are always there whenever I need guiding and always know how to make me smile. If I’m having a horrible day, you know just what to say to make it better. Your laugh is contagious and music to my ears and I swear you give me serotonin every single time. You are my best friend, my rock, and the person I am madly, deeply in love with. There is no other person I’d rather spend the rest of my life with, so that is why I have to ask,” He gets down on one knee and takes out a black box and opens it, “Y/N, would you do me this honor and be my wife for forever?” In the black box laid the most beautiful diamond ring you’ve ever seen.

You look away from the ring and into his glistening eyes. God you love this man so much. You wipe your tears as you nod fiercely. “Yes! Yes and yes! A million times yes!” Jaehyun smiles widely taking the ring out with shaking hands and placing it on your fourth finger. He gets up and kisses you passionately as he holds you tight in his embrace.

“I love you Mrs. Jeong.” He says.

“And I love you Mr. Jeong.” You laugh before going in for another kiss.

That night you two made endless love that you swear you heard your neighbor banging on the wall for you both to shut up.

The following week, you both announced the news to your family and friends and as expected, everyone is happy for you both. You couldn’t stop smiling and you couldn’t wait to start planning your dream wedding to the love of your life. You couldn’t wait for your future.

the drunk night

It has been eight months since you got engaged and an exhausting but exciting eight months. The wedding date was set to hold in fourth months. As much as you were excited in the process of planning your wedding and building your forever with Jaehyun, he didn’t seem too excited in the last month or so. You would try to get his input about the cake, the venue, the guest list, the location, down to the color schemes and all you’ve got in return was a “choose whichever makes you happy.”

Sure, if this was any other person, you’d look the other way and just be glad to plan it, except, this is Jaehyun. The one who makes it obvious and known when he’s excited, tired, angry, frustrated, annoyed, disappointed, and all other emotions in between. You’ve noticed him becoming less excited and more exhausted whenever the topic of the wedding comes up.

You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was making him feel anxious or brushing it off like it was nothing. You’ve tried multiple times to coax it out of him and yet all you got in return was a snappy attitude and him repeatedly saying, “it’s nothing.”

It is 10:30 on a Saturday night and Jaehyun still hasn’t come home. You’ve called and texted him multiple times only for his phone go straight to voicemail and no text back. You were starting to get worried since he always made sure to check in with you if he was going to be out late.

Four hours passed and still the same outcome. You scroll through your contacts to find his best friend’s phone number. Just as you are about to dial Johnny, you hear the door unlock and there walks in your fiancé. Your very drunk fiancé.

Jaehyun is notoriously known to have a high alcohol intolerance since college, so the fact that he is bat shit drunk in front of you tells you he was clearly drinking something away.

“Ow. Shit.” He mumbles as he stumbles to the floor. You jump from the couch and ran straight to him. “Oh hi honey. You’re still up?” He gives you a lopsided smile.

“How much did you drink Jae?” you ask worriedly. You’ve never seen this side of him before.

“Just enough.” He sighs deeply and attempts to get up only for his movements to be sluggish.

You get up and attempt to get him off the floor. After the tenth time, you succeeded and stumble to your shared room. “Come on babe, let’s get you to bed.” 

“You are so pretty. You’ve always been so pretty Y/N.” he mumbles and begins to poke your cheeks.

“And so are you handsome.” You try to return the same enthusiasm, but to no avail. Inside, your brain kept asking a million different questions of why he drank so much.

“I miss you.” he pouts at you once he laid on the bed.

“I miss you too silly.”

“No, I know. I mean, I just really miss you.”

“I’m always here, what are you talking about bubs.” You chuckle.

“No you’re not. It’s different. It all feels different.”

Just before you’re about to ask him what he meant, he closes his eyes and falls fast asleep. You sigh deeply and do your best to get him out of his jeans and shirt so he could sleep more comfortably.

As you lay next to him, his words kept replaying in your brain and along with that, you begin to think back on how things been between you both lately. Before anxiety could overwhelm you, you force your mind to shut up and try getting some sleep.

The next morning, you woke up to Jaehyun cooking breakfast and for a minute you forgot what happened the night before. You get out of bed and head over to see your fiancé focusing on the egg omelet. For a very drunk person the night before, he seems to be doing okay without a hangover.

“Good morning handsome. It smells good in here.” You warmly smile as you hug him from behind.

“Good morning babe.”

“How are you feeling?” you cautiously ask.

“Doing okay. No hangover it that’s what you’re asking.” He chuckles.

“I wish I had your superpowers. You came home super drunk.”

“Yeah I’m sorry about that. Had too much to drink with Johnny and the boys and just lost count.”

Was it just that? Have you been overthinking about the situation over nothing?

“It’s okay. We all need to get drunk once in a while, though, you’re hard to get off of the floor when you’re that wasted.” You both laugh at that comment and continue on the day with each other.

In the back of your mind, you felt this particular moment was what started it all for what was to come. You wish you had seen the signs sooner.

the blowup

It’s been two months since the night Jaehyun came home drunk and since then, you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him. You were scared of what was coming or what he had to say if you asked him about what he said. So instead, you pretend that everything was fine in your relationship, when in reality it was the total opposite.

You both felt different and couldn’t come to terms with it.

“I’m not saying that we can’t have both entrees Jaehyun. You’re missing the point.” You say trying to control your temper from boiling over.

“Then who gives a fuck if we have steak or chicken? Or mashed potatoes and carrots? No one is going to give a flying fuck as long as you have the damn wedding Y/N!” Jaehyun exclaims.

It wasn’t that you were afraid of him, its just you’ve never seen him this upset before. You sit there in shock written all over your face.

“Jae-“

“Seriously Y/N, do you really think people are going to judge you for the food you serve them? No. All they care about it having free booze, free meal, and the wedding. That’s all people care about.”

“Well maybe if you have given me your input from the start then we wouldn’t be sitting here talking about entrees!” you finally said as you hit your tipping point. There was no way you were going to get yelled at when you were the only one planning this alone.

“Oh, so now it’s my fault we can’t choose what the hell to eat.” Jaehyun scoffs.

Taking a deep breath as you try to calm yourself down, you try to understand where he is coming from. “Look I get you’re stressed out from the new promotion at work –“

“This has nothing to do with work!”

You frowned at his response, confusion taking over. “Then where is this coming from?”

He deeply sighs annoyingly, “Nowhere.”

You get up from the couch when you start to feel angry, “No, clearly something is bothering you just like it has been for the last couple of months. Spill out Jae, what is going on?”

“It’s nothing, forget about it.”

You were growing more frustrated and couldn’t help the next words to slip out of your mouth, “Are you seeing someone else? Is that it? Is that why you’re so miserable all the time!?”

His eyes widen as he also gets up from the couch. “Of course not! I am not a cheater and you know it!”

“Pft, then what is it because all you’ve been doing lately is give me the same repetitive answers with an attitude for the past several months. So whatever you have to say, just –“

“Fine! I don’t want to get married! There I said it! Are you happy now?”

You both stand there in shock at the words he said. You from hearing it and him for finally saying it out loud.

“What?” you ask in almost a whisper in disbelief.

Jaehyun sighs deeply before letting it out, “I don’t want to get married.”

You are so confused on how this turned an ugly left. “I don’t – I don’t understand. You don’t want to get married anymore?”

“No.” he says sadly.

“Did you ever wanted to get married in the first place?”

He takes a deep breath once again and shakes his head.

Now your entire world is flip upside down.

“Then why would you ask in the first place Jaehyun?” you cried.

“Because you’re you. You’ve always wanted to get married and we kept talking about it, and I thought at the time it was what I wanted as well at the time. I just wanted to make you happy.”

You stand there, your heart breaking into pieces as your mind and heart went to war with each other.

“So you only asked because I wanted to get married?”

“I’m so sorry Y/N. I never meant for this to happen.”

Just like that, the dam in your eyes begin to fall as you try to catch your breath. You didn’t realize you’re crying so hard.

“It’s been four years and you didn’t have it in you to be honest with me? Ab-about our relationship. Do you even still love m-me?”

Silence.

It was getting harder for the words to form and come out of your mouth. All Jaehyun could do in that moment is hold you close and let both of you cry throughout the night.

the hide and seek

Four years. That’s how long you spent your life with someone you thought would be your forever, only for it to go down the drain.

Everyone thought you and Jaehyun would be endgame – your family, friends, co-workers, and strangers alike have told you that both are endgame. Jaehyun has said it. You’ve said it. So, why is it, as you sit on the couch two weeks later, wonder where, when, and how did it all go wrong. How did one precious timeframe of tender loving turn into a disaster nightmare?

“I guess we should talk.” Jaehyun says carefully when he sees you staring into nothing on the couch. He knows it is his fault for why you are in this position and for hurting you.

You didn’t reply to him and felt the other end of the couch dip as he sits down.

It is quiet for a moment before you ask the question that’s been on your mind for the past two weeks “Where do we go from here?”

Jaehyun stares at the wall ahead of him, “I think we both know what needs to happen.” He looks to you and he truly regrets hurting you.

“When did you know?” you ask turning to face him.

“Know what?”

“That you didn’t love me anymore?”

He knew this question was coming, but didn’t expect it to be so hard to tell you the truth. “I still love you Y/N, but it’s not the same as when we first started dating.”

“So, when?”

“Four months ago.”

You nodded your head. That was the time he started coming home late and that one drunken night he came stumbling into your apartment. You think back to last year and try to analyze where you went wrong, though the only thing you can think of was you both were committed to your jobs. Which resulted in not having enough time for each other and as far as sex goes it happened at least twice a month.

Damn, even the sex was lacking when you both used to have crazy sex.  

“Why didn’t you just come and talk to me? We could have worked something out you know.” You say sadly.

“Yeah, but what would be the point? You finally got that promotion you’ve been wanting right after New Years and I ended up covering more hours at work. We didn’t have time for each other and if we did, it was mostly sleeping in from how exhausted we were.”

“But you’re my fiancé, boyfriend, whatever. We should have still communicated Jaehyun.”

“I know and that is my fault. I will admit and own up to that. I thought if I proposed to you, it would bring back the love I felt for you, but it never did. So, instead of manning up, I was a coward and held in my true feelings in order to save you the heartbreak, but I see now I was wrong.”

“If we had never fought two weeks ago, would you have said something? Would you have called off the wedding when it was time?”

At that Jaehyun became quiet. “I don’t know.”

You couldn’t handle sitting on the couch any longer with the man you still love and hear his honesty. You wanted to scream, throw his things out the door, break something, but instead, you just left the living room in defeat.

That night he slept in the guest room, while you slept by yourself in your once shared mastered bedroom. That arrangement continued for another two weeks. It shouldn’t be like this. None of this should even be happening. Maybe it was due to the upcoming embarrassment of you two breaking up and telling your friends and family about it. As much as you try to find ways to still be in a relationship with Jaehyun, you knew deep down that if he no longer loved you, there isn’t much of a relationship.

You knew what the next step is and as much as you don’t want to face it, it’s best if you both start to move forward with your own lives.

You walk into the living room where he is slouched on the couch mindlessly watching the TV. You take a deep breath to gather all your courage. “I think we should officially break up.”

Jaehyun’s eyes find yours in an instant and straightens up. He just gives you a small nod.

“I found some apartment listings so I’ll move out in a few weeks or so.” you gave him a nod and turn back to your room.

The look on his face is either from the surprise break up or shock that you’re the one moving out. To be honest, he shouldn’t be feeling either emotions because this would have been the outcome one way or another and he knew that.

He just didn’t think it would hurt him this much.

the end

Few weeks or so turned into a month because holy shit apartment searching is hell. There was no way you’re moving back with your parents or crashing at your friends places. Living with your ex was new. Sure, the first few days were awkward as you try to not bump into each other or walk into bathrooms when being used. Later, you both somehow managed to make it work – by coming home late and leaving early.

After finally finding an apartment near your work, you start packing your things. As you pack the last remaining items, you never realized you had so many things. You decided to take a break and have a nice long hot shower since Jaehyun was still at work. While you’re in the shower, Jaehyun comes home early from work. He hears the soft R&B music coming from your once shared room.

To him, he was grateful that it wasn’t a toxic breakup or any 24/7 bitterness between you both. He kept replaying the night you told him you were moving out and he couldn’t put into words how he felt. Too deep in his thoughts and unaware of your presence, you walk out of your room naked.

It’s something you always do when you’re home alone. Jaehyun’s eyes goes wide from seeing all of you as you try to cover up your body with a towel. It’s a sight he truly missed seeing.

“Oh my god! Jaehyun! You’re home. I’m so sorry.” You say catching your breath and slowing down your heart rate.

All Jaehyun can do is stare at you before nodding, “Yeah, I decided to call it a day.” He quickly turns around as your nipple peaks out of your rushed towel. “I’m going to make some dinner.” He quickly rushes into the kitchen to calm himself down.

Something comes over you the moment you see his back enter the kitchen. You do something, something you haven’t done in a hot second and let your towel fall to the ground. You follow after him naked. Jaehyun has his back to you as he looks at the pantry trying to rid thoughts of you.

“Jae.” You say softly gaining his attention.

Jaehyun turns around and once again gets fluster at you being naked in front of him. He takes in your perfect body and he can’t even remember the last time you had sex. Neither of you can. You guess it has been a while.

You slowly walk up to him as he stands there frozen watching your every move. His eyes meets yours filled with lust and longing. You softly touch his arm and caress it before wrapping them around your waist.

“Y/N-“

“If you don’t want to, I’ll stop.” You interject. You’re super horny and from the way he’s eyeing you, you know he is too, but when he doesn’t make a move or say anything, you figured he wasn’t in the mood. Embarrassment begins to take over as you stop touching him and backing away from his form.

“I’m sorry –“ you begin, but your sentence is cut short when he grabs your waist and clashes your lips together.

The kiss is hungry as if you two are both starved. In a sense, you’re both starving for each other. You take off his shirt revealing his perfect abs and begin to undo his belt. Jaehyun’s lips travel to your jaw, neck, down to your clavicle. Once he’s free of his jeans, he kicks them off and kisses you once more.

His hands goes all over your bare back before giving your ass a squeeze and slapping it earning a gasp from you. He then surprises you by picking you up and sitting you on the counter where he kisses you all over your chest. He kisses both breasts before diving to your right nipple and sucking it as his hand pinches and stimulates the left and repeats the motions.

You gasp as he continues to arouse you and you unconsciously begin moving your hips and wrapping your legs around him.

“Jae.” You whine. He looks up at you, your tit still in his mouth and his hooded eyes are dark. “I need you.” you finally manage to say.

He nods and leaves a trail of kisses up to your lips. With your legs still wrap around him, he picks you up smoothly and walks back to your shared room. He lays you down gently and begin giving the rest of your body kisses down to your core.

“Jaehyun.” You say out of breath because you know he’s teasing you right now.

“Just a little taste first baby.”

He kisses your inner thighs before kissing your clit. His tongue licks your wet folds and you couldn’t help the moan that comes out of your mouth.

“It has been too long.” He says more to himself, but you still heard him.

He dives his tongue into your hole as his nose brushes against your clit. He knows what you want and he gives it to you. He sucks and licks as his digits enters you. You are so horny from all the foreplay, it didn’t take long for you to come.

“That’s my good girl.” He says breathlessly. You look down at him to see your essence on his chin. He holds his hard cock, giving it a few pumps before getting off his knees to crawl over you. Jaehyun doesn’t give you time to recover when he gathers your wetness and slides between your folds. Jaehyun positions the head directly in front of your soaking hole and slowly pushes himself inside.

No matter how many times you two do this, you never get used to how much he beautifully stretches you out. Inch by inch, you feel every rigid of his perfect cock in you. You gasp when he’s fully seated inside of you and he gives you a minute to catch your breath before you tell him to move.

He doesn’t need to be told twice, but instead of going slow, he surprises you by pulling out to the tip and slamming back into you. He repeats the motion until he’s fucking you hard and fast. Just the way you both like it.

“Fuck you are so beautiful. I love the way you take my cock.”

You moan in between gasps, “Always for you.”

Jaehyun changes positions as he sits on his heels, pulling you closer to him and holding up your legs in the air. The position lets him watch your soaked pussy swallow him whole whenever he fucks deeper into you. You hold onto your boobs when he goes faster and fuck you have missed this.

“Jae I’m close.”

“Already going to cum? Hold it in just a bit longer.” His voice is deep.

You do as you’re told and try to hold it in as long as you can until it was too much. “Jaehyun!”

“Come on my dick baby.” You let go as soon as he tells you. The pure bliss takes over every single nerve as you cum hard. Your mouth goes slack, eyes closed, and all Jaehyun can do in that one moment is be mesmerize by your perfection.

He slows his pace down enough to let you catch your breath, but Jaehyun being Jaehyun, that didn’t last long. He hovers over you once more with your legs now by your face. This position makes it so much more intimate and deeper.

“You are so beautiful.”

“I want you to cum in me. Please baby.” How could he not resist you when you begged so cutely and so fucked out. He kisses you hard as his pace returns to animalistic and thrusts harder into you.

“Please daddy. I want it all. I want you to fill me up.” You knew just what to say to get him going. His hips begin to falter as his cock twitches and cums in you.

His moans and groans is so sexy, you almost come again from the sound of it.

“Fuck.” Jaehyun says when he finally catches his breath. You stay in that blissful moment before he pulls out. You feel your mix liquids drip down while he goes into the bathroom to get you a warm towel to clean you up. He discards the towel onto the floor as he lies down next to you pulling the blanket over your naked bodies.

“So that just happened.” You say not knowing exactly what to do next.

“Yeah.” He says staring at the ceiling. Neither of you have ever been in this position before, let alone have random one night stands before you two met all those years ago.

“I’m sorry for what I did and for hurting you.” he breaks the silence.

“I know. As much as I want to hate you for it, I can’t and I don’t. I somehow get it. We just grew apart I guess.” You say quietly. In reality, it was true. You both are two completely different people than you were a year ago or four years ago.

“Can we just stay like this for one night? One last time?” he turns to look at you with pleading eyes. He wants you to say yes. He wants to hold you in his arms and watch Disney movies. He wants to be next to you throughout the night.

You look back at him and give him a sad smile, “One last time.” You whisper. You kiss him as you pull yourself on top to straddle him.

One last time. One last night. You both used it wrap in each other and bring each other to ecstasy and to the heavens above, all for it to repeat until the early morning.

Your by the door not really wanting to leave, but you have to take the first step in moving forward with your life.

“So this is really it isn’t it?” he asks softly.

“Yeah I guess it is.” You whisper.

Somehow seeing the last box by the door and you getting ready to leave, hurt him. It’s strange to see the person you’ve spent four long years with suddenly walking out the door to never return again.

“Thank you Jaehyun for everything.” You look up at him and give him one last kiss on his soft lips. The lips that will for sure take a while to forget. You linger there for a moment taking it all in, before forcing yourself to pick up the box in your arms and walking away. Away from the man you loved – still love – and walk straight into the unknown future.

Jaehyun watches you get into your car and drive off away from him and the home you once shared. For the first time in a long time he wanted to cry. The memories the two of you shared comes rushing back and overwhelms him.

He knows he needed to let you go. He knew he couldn’t go through with the wedding and he knew you deserved someone better than him.

When he couldn’t see your car anymore, he looks around the empty apartment. For the first time in years, Jeong Jaehyun finally lets out all of his pent up emotions. The apartment feeling cold and lonely without you there. Without you in his life.

[misseviehyde]

MY BOYFRIEND, THE SUPER MODEL

You were pretty surprised when the invitation came to attend an exclusive fashion shoot in Milan... especially when it was addressed to your boyfriend Chris.

He opened it, frowned then laughed and shrugged slightly.

"When I was younger," laughed Chris - "my aunt who works in the fashion industry used to make me model girls clothes and pretend to be her daughter. For years she's been trying to get me to do it again."

"Your aunt made you dress up as a girl?" you asked bemused.

"Errrrr not quite," muttered Chris. "She used to give me this Elixir stuff and it actually made me into a girl. I became this annoying little bitch called Cristy. My Aunt said I had the perfect bone structure to be a girl and that when I grew up I could be a top super model if I wanted. Cristy was well up for it."

"You're talking about her like she was a different person," you gulped.

"She kind of was and that was the problem. She was a annoying little diva who was going to grow up spoiled and evil. My Mom rescued me and made me go cold-turkey till I turned back into her son. Cristy has been gone since then. Fuck I wonder what she would look like now? Guess that's what my aunt is trying to convince me to try."

"But what does the invite say?" you askes curiously.

"It says she needs a top model for her fashion show in Milan and if Cristy does it - she'll pay me a million dollars and write me into the will."

"A million? Holy shit - that's insane!" you gasp.

"Not really. The top models get 20 to 40 million depending on the gig."

"Maybe you should do it? We could use the money and you're older now. You can keep Cristy under control and I can make sure you get turned back."

"I don't know," mused Chris reluctantly. "I... I had to work hard to free myself of her. But I suppose for all that money..."

"How much harm can it do?" you asked. "You love me and with a million in the bank we can do what we like."

Chris nodded reluctantly... though only partially, as if some part of him was actually pleased.

"Very well, I'll book the flights."

*********

Milan was beautiful though you hadn't seen that much yet. A private cab whisked you and Chris away to the centre where you were taken to hotel where the models were staying.

Beautiful women moved around the lobby like they inhabited some different universe. Their graceful movements made you feel small and weak.

You were taken to a room where a whole suite of beautiful women's clothing and makeup was waiting. On a table by one wall stood a rack of pink vials. Chris walked over.

"Are you sure you want me to do this?"

Without waiting for an answer he raised the vial to his mouth and drank it all.

"Ohhhhh fuck, I forgot how good this stuff tasted. How it made me feel. Mmmmmh I haven't transformed into a girl for years... mmmmh no... this time, I'm becoming a woman not a girl. Cristy is coming back baby!"

Chris began to groan and giggle, pulling at his clothes and laughing as he struggled out of them. Bones were popping and cracking and his hair was already lengthening as Cristy's perfect features replaced his.

His flat chest swelled out as two huge natural breasts grew there. Grabbing them Chris squeezed happily, his pouting mouth parted in ecstasy as he transformed.

High cheek bones, soft skin and luuxrious hair framed his transformed body and his face altered to become super beautiful. The bitch standing unashamedly naked in front of you now had a perfect ass and body, with firm full tits and gorgeous silky hair. She would look good in anything.

"See," purred the reborn Cristy in a deliciously sexy voice. "He warned you I was pretty and as you can see I am."

"Chris?" you asked in astonishment.

"Weren't you listening to anything he had to say loser? I'm Cristy - the girl he used to be, though I'm all grown up now. For fucks sake - help me get dressed and let's find my aunt. I can't wait to get back on the catwalk."

*********

Cristy was a quick learner or she already knew how to do things. She explained she'd been lurking in Chris' subconscious for a long time.

"I can't believe it's been so long since I was free. Still - at least I'm finally back. Thanks bitch for convincing that loser to become me again. This time he won't get free of me."

"No... that isn't the plan. You're gonna earn that money then go back to being Chris."

"Oh really? What the fuck do I get out of that arrangement? Errrr how about I find my aunt, launch my new modelling career and become rich and famous. Yeah, we'll go with that plan." Laughing Cristy turned on her heels and clopped off to find her aunt.

**********

Cristy Rio was famous, beautiful and rich.

Girls wanted to be her and men wanted to fuck her.

Thanks to her rich, well-connected aunt she'd experienced a meterioric rise in the fashion industry and was now a super succesful model and socialite.

She was also your former boyfriend.

Without putting too much a finer point on it, you'd made a big mistake helping her get control back of Chris. Now she was in charge and there wasn't any reason for Chris to ever want to return.

She was an international star and a total bitch.

She was your boyfriend, the super model.

[gyumibear]

✂️ three's a crowd — 00: my clematis

synopsis — being an ex-obsessive fan is hard, but you've been doing well so far. that is until your rival is revealed to be dating choi soobin, the idol you've been dreaming of for years! so, now your road to recovery is detoured because you're not going to let that slide. you're going to break them apart at all costs. doesn't she know three's a crowd?

taglist — open! send an ask or comment on the main masterlist to be added! @imsiriuslyreal

warnings — violation of hippa laws 😭, mentions of mental illness (codependency, obsession, parasocial relationships), allusions to suicidal thoughts and mentions of violence.

(wc — 1.5k)

It is our intention to include a transcript of the therapeutic sessions run by Dr. [REDACTED] with his client [REDACTED]. These transcripts are protected by doctor-client confidentiality laws (HIPPA) and should only be accessed by the verified person(s). Please call [xxx-xxx-xxxx] if you are in fear of those laws being violated. 

August 24, 2019 / #Session 1

Note: C refers to client [REDACTED] while T refers to Dr. [REDACTED].

T: Hello, [REDACTED], it’s nice to see you today. 

C: I’m only here because [REDACTED] wants me to be.

T: And might I ask who that is? Is he your father?

C: He’s my cousin, in a way. He’s more like a brother though.

T: Is he your legal guardian?

C: Yes, but only for a few more days. I’m about to turn 18 soon.

T: I’ll note that down. Well, thanks for coming, and I’m happy to help you. First, I want to go over a few things with you. I just want you to know that everything we talk about here is confidential. 

C: Obviously. You’d get sued if you didn’t keep things between us.

T: *Dry laugh* You’re correct. Let’s start talking, what happened today that brought you here?

C: Hm.

T: Feel free to start whenever you’re comfortable, [REDACTED].

C: I pushed a girl down a flight of stairs.

T: Did she do something to anger you? Why did you push her?

C: She said that [REDACTED] is the weakest member of [REDACTED].

T: Can you enlighten me as to who that is? Is he a celebrity?

C: Yes, my favorite! He’s the leader of [REDACTED] which is a K-Pop group.

T: Ah, right. Why did her comment about him upset you so much?

C: Because he’s the love of my life? She was spewing absolute bullshit and she doesn’t even know him. Not like I do. I know how hard [REDACTED] works, how much he does for the group and the other members. She deserved to get put in her place.

T: Hold on, [REDACTED]. You said he’s the love of your life? Can you explain that?

C: He is. We’re gonna get married one day. I know it.

T: Let’s dig deeper into this, okay? Tell me more about [REDACTED].

September 28, 2019 / Session 3

C: So, I doxxed her, and I got her expelled.

T: All because she said she preferred [REDACTED] to [REDACTED]?

C: Yeah! I like [REDACTED] and all, but the best member will forever be my [REDACTED]. He’s not the leader for no reason, Dr. [REDACTED].

T: I understand how you feel, but [REDACTED], she is allowed to have her own opinion. You can understand that, correct?

C: She can. That doesn’t mean she won’t face the consequences for them.

T: Hm.

January 4, 2020 / Session #10

T: Welcome back, [REDACTED]. How was your Christmas?

C: It was pretty good, [REDACTED] bought me two [REDACTED] albums. I pulled [REDACTED] of course. It’s because he loves me. He made sure I got his PCs.

T: Hm. Have you been taking your medication regularly?

C: …

T: [REDACTED]?

C: No. I just… forgot. [REDACTED] got really mad at me over the break and I felt like he was gonna leave me and I- I just couldn’t focus on anything else.

T: Why did he get upset with you?

C: I spent the rent money on some [REDACTED] merch cause his birthday was coming up. December 5.  He had to call [REDACTED] and ask him to pay this month. They both were really pissed at me, [REDACTED] was the angriest though. I felt bad, like genuinely bad about it.

T: When you say bad, do you really mean sad?

C: Yeah… I just, I don’t ever want him to be mad at me. He’s all I have… But, it’s like… When it comes to [REDACTED] I just can’t control myself. It’s like I’d [REDACTED] if he asked me to.

T: Do you want to [REDACTED]?

C: Sometimes.

March 4, 2020 / Session #14

C: Lately, I’ve just been feeling… Empty? Today’s supposed to be a happy one, cause it’s their one-year anniversary, but I just… Don’t feel anything?

T: Why do you think that is? Did something happen?

C: My classmate recently started biasing him and she actually met him. She ran into him at the convenience store or something and he… talked to her.

T: Continue.

C: At first I thought she was lying, just to piss me off, but… She pulled out her phone and she showed a whole group of us. He took a picture with her and she said he even called her pretty…

T: How did that make you feel when you heard that?

C: Pretty upset. I didn’t do anything to her though, I just walked away.

T: That’s good, [REDACTED]. I’m glad nobody got hurt.

C: Doesn’t mean I didn’t want to hurt her.

T: I understand, but we’re working on that, now aren’t we?

C: Yes. Yes, we are.

August 5, 2020 / Session #25

T: Woah, [REDACTED] you seem very upset today.

C: I’m not in the mood Doc.

T: Would you mind telling me why?

C: [REDACTED] has dating rumors. With this random bitch [REDACTED]. Literally, just because they’re working together as emcees does not mean they’re dating! He wouldn’t do that. He knows that would crush me.

T: [REDACTED], you remember [REDACTED] doesn’t know you, right?

C: That’s not true! He responded to my message on [REDACTED]. Twice. He knows me.

T: Oh dear. [REDACTED], I’m sorry. That was out of line on my part.

C: It’s fine, just don’t say that again. I’m already in a bad mood.

April 16, 2022 / Session #x 

Note: C stopped seeing T for a few years due to her time in [REDACTED] after an incident in which she [REDACTED] after an altercation with her classmate. A few of her files were lost, these were the earliest we could find.

C: I’m going to [REDACTED] for University. It took a lot of hard work, but I’m gonna study fashion! [REDACTED] is paying my tuition, but I’m gonna work so I can pay him back.

T: That’s a good idea, [REDACTED]. I’m proud of you.

C: It is a little scary though…

T: What’s scary?

C: Being away from [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]. Cause I have to move into a dorm, I’m not going to see them every day like usual… I’m a bit nervous. I think it’s my separation anxiety.

T: That could be it. Let’s talk more about this. 

May 31, 2022 / Session #x

T: This is the last time I’m going to be seeing you regularly, [REDACTED]! 

C: Yeah, it feels like it was just yesterday when I met you for the first time.

T: How are you feeling? Been keeping up with your meds?

C: Yep! I’ve been feeling pretty okay! When I start feeling bad I just remember the exercises and the practices you taught me and I work around them. I’m healed, basically.

T: You were never broken, [REDACTED]. You just needed some guidance. You are doing exceptionally well, but don’t start slacking off. We don’t want you to relapse.

C: Yeah, I got you Doc. I’m gonna be on my best behavior!

T: I believe as much. So, what music do you have to share with me this week?

C: I’ve been listening to [REDACTED]! She’s so cool, she makes me wanna learn how to play an instrument.

T: That’d be a good hobby, don’t you think?

C: Yep. Also, Doc..?

T: Yes, [REDACTED]? You look concerned?

C: I, um… I saw some photos of [REDACTED] online… I blocked all the tags that I could, but I guess they just slipped through.

T: That’s alright. these things happen. How did you feel about that?

C: I felt like screaming. I don’t know how to describe it, but it wasn’t a good feeling. So I turned my phone off and I went to go talk to [REDACTED] about it.

T: Is that fully true?

C: …

T: [REDACTED], please tell me the truth.

C: Hm… No.

T: What did you really do?

C: I binge-watched all the fancams I could find of him…

T: Is that all?

C: I also argued with some people online… But then [REDACTED] came and he distracted me.

T: *Sighs* Let’s have another session tomorrow, I want to investigate something.

C: Okay…

August 1, 2023 / Session #x

T: You’re going back to school soon. How do you feel?

C: Fine. It’s just school, you know?

T: Mhm. How’ve you been feeling?

C: Fine. I spent the weekend at [REDACTED]’s so I’m pretty out of it, haha.

T: I see. Did you keep up with your medicine?

C: Do you even need to ask? Of course. I haven’t missed a day in months.

T: I’m very proud of you. Why did you schedule this meeting though, might I ask?

C: I dunno… I just felt like I should.

T: That’s okay! I’m here for you for that very reason. So, tell me what’s on your mind?

C: There’s this girl who’s supposed to be my roommate… I don’t like her.

T: What’s her name?

C: [REDACTED]. She’s a music major.

T: What don’t you like about her?

C: She just… Seems fake? There’s something off and it makes me feel weird.

T: Hm… When was the first time you two interacted?

C: Well… Let’s see…

Note: End of recovered transcripts.

a/n — this was just a simple prologue/teaser to show what yn's mental state is like! i've never done therapy transcripts so i'm sorry if they're an inaccurate portrayal? let me know if there's something that needs to be tagged or changed.

playlist / masterlist / next

© GYUMIBEAR. do not repost, modify or translate my work onto other social media sites.

[xmanicpanicx]

The events in your story must be believable...

No, I don’t mean curb your imagination and never write fantasy, sci-fi, or any other sort of speculative fiction. No, I don’t mean avoid writing the type of romance so many of us wish we could experience in real life. What I mean is that what happens in your story must be believable within the context of the story. When I was a creative writing student in university, I disagreed with many of my professors’ rigid rules, but one piece of advice I always agreed with was this one. 

Somebody in class would write a story, a few of us (or more) would call bullshit on the sequence of events, and they would reply, “But this actually happened!” 

Honestly, it doesn’t matter if what you’re writing about actually happened. It’s a cliché, but truth really is often stranger than fiction, and it can be interesting to hear those anecdotes when you’re talking to someone in real life. However, when you’re reading a novel or even just a short story, it doesn’t work the same way. The events of the story have to follow some sort of internal logic. Here are some antitheses to a story’s internal logic.

1) Character inconsistency. Characters should be complex, and they often change over the course of the story, but if, out of nowhere, a character does a complete 180 with no possible motivation for those actions, readers will be thrown. Many great plot twists come from characters turning out not to be who we thought they were, but remember that characters should be like real people rather than plot devices, three-dimensional rather than flat. Their actions have to make sense; there must be a reason for their actions beyond moving the plot forward because you, the author, want or need it to move forward. 

2) Unrealistic consequences. This is one of my personal least-favorite things to see in a story: when a character makes a huge (and often very damaging) decision, and there is hardly any fallout. I’ve seen it most often when the main character gets away with things that no one would ever be able to get away with so cleanly, but the main character can because they’re supposedly special. (Hint: they’re not.) People don’t forgive hurtful actions easily, and, except in the world of the extremely rich and powerful, egregiously bad decisions don’t go unpunished. Even if the reader identifies with the main character (and, naturally, we want things to go well for characters we identify with, just as we want them to go well for ourselves), this is not satisfying. It feels like something is missing, because it is.

3) Deus ex machina. This is Latin for “God out of the machine,” and it refers to “a plot device whereby a seemingly unsolvable problem in a story is suddenly and abruptly resolved by an unexpected and unlikely occurrence” (I got this part from Wikipedia. Don’t judge me! They sum it up well!), as if God or a higher power of some sort just popped in out of nowhere fixed everything for the characters on a whim. Real-life instances of deus ex machina are cool to hear about precisely because they’re so unbelievable, yet they really did happen, and it just adds to the mystery of the universe. In fiction, deus ex machina is just anticlimactic. There’s nothing rewarding about reading your way through a character(s)’ mammoth struggles and having none of it pay off or come to anything because an external factor, which has never appeared in the story before, suddenly enters and ties things up neatly. If you must use deus ex machina, do it sparingly and with small events rather than the main conflict or showdown of the story.

Any one of the above, and especially a combination of them, will lead to more plot holes than a reader can willingly accept. These shortcuts aren’t worth the substance they remove from what could be a great story.

[thegoosewiththemost]

Haunting - Part 16

Summary: BJ’s first day at the apprenticeship and dining out. Lawrence most definitely convinced his boss to pay him in cash by the day because he has no banking details.

Read Part 15 here

Read Part 17 here

It was probably for the best that Betelgeuse was occupied when you were at work. As much as you would have liked to spend time with him, life and work and bills got in the way. You had suggested at first that he let the opportunity slide for now, but in reality there wasn’t much else for him to do around the house unsupervised and he wasn’t qualified to drive himself wherever he wanted (or pay for anything he needed for that matter).

“It’ll be funnn! Don’t worry ‘bout it, ol BJ has got it in the bag. Maybe I’ll even get a new suit out of it!”

“Come on, let’s dance!”

Briefly you decided to hold off on your skepticism at his suitability for the job as you drove him to work. He had improved by leaps and bounds since becoming human, but sometimes he could be an absolute feral creature.

It’s by some kind of miracle that he comes out of his shift looking more put together than he did going in and with a massive grin plastered across his face to boot. A very pleased shopkeeper waves out of the window at you from behind him.

Betelgeuse, as it turns out is unsurprisingly better at front of house sales than resigning to work in silence on the actual tailoring of garments, much to the annoyed dismay of the owner who gives up on teaching him the trade and instead changes his station to salesman altogether. It’s an easy enough job for an ex-conman and somehow despite his scruffy appearances suggesting otherwise, he brings in decent money - enough to keep everyone’s mouth shut. Somehow, he even becomes a bit of a zebra striped icon for the store which does wonders for their marketing despite how horrendous it looks. No one complains.

It’s an achievement worth celebrating and so you let him pick a restaurant to dine out at. I’m barely any time at all you’re there with him, at a candlelit table that makes it feels more like a date than you’d expect.

“Did you know that fruit starts rotting once you pick it off the plant?”

“Yes? And did you know that when you die, your corpse starts to rot too?” You hit back.

“So really you’re eating dead plant babies right now. Skinning them and then cutting them up into itty bitty pieces, you’re cruel, how could you do that to the plants?” Beej wailed dramatically.

“I know right, almost as bad as you deciding to ruin my sanity and life by stalking me since day one.” popping a piece of pear into your mouth, you fix him with a deadpan stare.

“At least I have standards.” He huffed. “I may not be above punching babies but at least I don’t eat them.”

“The plants don’t know that. It checks out though, explains the gum disease.”

“I have great gums!”

“Yeah they’re working miracles for you, I’m surprised you still have teeth.”

“The rot gives off a sweet taste, trust me, I know,” he winks flirtatiously. “Maybe you���d like a little taste test?”

“Oh I’m sure they do. You know, I’m deeply honoured that you’ve given me this opportunity. I’ll even make an honourable mention of it on my resume, but I regret to inform you that I sincerely decline.”

“Your loss, baby. But in case you change your mind, you know where to find me. Francis Bacon can vouch for me: beauty itself is but a sensible image of the infinite. And since life and death are infinite and I have been both.... that automatically makes me the most beautiful person ever to exist!”

“You missed your calling as a philosopher.”

“Oh I am a philosopher. You just don’t get my vibe.”

“What would your vibe be? Blackmail and hedonism? A literal vibrator?”

“Hey, go easy on the blackmail! It was one time! One time.”

“Uh huh, so this was just one incident made up of a billion separate other incidents that drove me insane huh? You’re really selling yourself to me right now.”

“I’m here for a good time, not a long time, can you really blame me? A couple hundred years on the bench all alone would get you desperate too. Heck, maybe I’ll get to rock your world before I disappear again.” His caterpillar eyebrows wiggle suggestively as he nudges his knee against yours before he dives into his food again, but you don’t miss that wishful look in his eyes before they drop from yours.

There’s a quiet as the conversation lulls. Your cheeks burn; that last idea isn’t something that you want to dwell on.

“I didn’t know you were so interested in Francis Bacon.”

“Oh I’m interested in everything and philosophers are just sooo sexy. They know how to really party it up and they’re the most likely to summon a hot demon.” He says, preening. “All the best ones are the freaks, especially in the sheets,” he says dreamily and you wonder for a moment if he was seriously going to divulge you with information about his hookups which you’d rather not know. “Like that one time Plato…”

“I’d really rather not know!” You wanted to know, because inconveniently, the demon you’ve been saddled with has been occupying your mind for an unsavoury amount of time and lately, not all of those thoughts have been safe-for-work per-say.

“Are you sure you really don’t want to know or are you just scared of what you might like if you listen?”

There’s an unspoken tension in the air that you feel, something that you don’t want to acknowledge.

With a look that appears way too innocent, he occupies himself by sucking obscenely on his straw. You can’t help but stare as he takes his time to lap his long tongue along the side. And the curl of his lip…

He’s smirking.

The damn bastard is smirking. You hope that he’s oblivious to the thoughts running through your mind right then and there. You break out of your stare and blurt out an instant denial.

“No!” You throw the word out a little too quickly and the smug grin on his face grows into a leer.

“Ok.” He stops almost immediately, but the mischievous glint in his eye begs to say otherwise.

Wisely, you leave that particular topic alone for the rest of the dinner.

By the time the waitress comes back with the bill, you’re completely relaxed by the warm air of the restaurant and a full stomach.

Betelgeuse snatches the cheque swiftly off the tabletop before you can even reach it and quickly, counting up the amount, slips it into the book and hands it back to the server.

“Lawrence!”

“Now what kind of gentleman would I be if I let my beautiful partner pay for dinner?” It’s an unexpectedly kind gesture and you smile bashfully.

“If you insist.”

His words play in your head even as you head out into the cold air outside, walking so close to him that your hands sometimes brush.

You like the idea of being his partner and the touch of his skin against yours burns into your mind in the night when you nestle against him once again.

Tag list: @honeycovered-bandaids

[crystalelemental]

Unit Teambuilding - Mix Red

I debated whether I even wanted to do this one. If I'm being honest, I really struggle with this. When I do these teambuilding things, I like to at least run by the structure of "how does this perform on an F2P budget," giving at least one team that's all F2P aligned allies to showcase how it holds up. This is true for the limited pairs especially, since I personally consider nothing to be worse than a limited pair requiring another limited pair to perform.

Joke's on me though! DeNA has absolutely created worse, by introducing the concept of hey, what if the only way to get a pair was to pay for it, and you still had to roll the dice? Also what if it was Red, my personal most hated character in the series now? And what if, just hypothetically, we made him with Venusaur, and then gave him identical tools to SS Leaf so he's effectively better in every way? What if that?

General Overview So I'll talk about him, but I'm not teambuilding. Because truth be told? No one should pull on this. And keep in mind, I'm one of those that was Variety Neutral. I don't love those, but if they're a favorite or they had something interesting going on you wanted, sure, go for it. EX colors were never that important to me. I think the outrage around Variety Scouts was at least somewhat overblown.

This, though? People honestly aren't mad enough. If this game had a robust competitive or co-op mode, I can promise you, this would be the thing that killed the game. Because now you have to pay to keep up at all.

Fortunately, Masters is making many a questionable financial move, but is not, as of yet, requiring anything. It's aggressive monetization, no one can question that, but it's not like Mix Red is a necessity. Or, to be brutally honest, even all that good. Yes, he has some very nice debuff tools, including both offenses (randomly) and -2 AoE Sp Def per Buddy move. Yes, he gets his baby cheat skill to always crit and never miss. Yes, he gets Grassy Terrain on his Max Move (they didn't even do GMax because they know how bad Damage Field sucks) and his first sync, thanks to being a Field pair.

He also has worse Sp Atk than Piers. Granted, Archie proved ages ago you can work around such limitations with the right tools, so mild complaint. The bigger issue is that his Buddy Move is conditional on Grassy Terrain, and he only gets two activations. And if you want to debuff Sp Def quickly for a sync, you're popping Max Move right away. Terrain ends roughly after second sync, and is gone forever. I expected Red to be overblown given his presence, to the point I fully anticipated these Mix pairs being a response to the Ultimate Battles they're going to pump out. But this? This barely keeps up with Gauntlet, much less the endurance contest Anabel is shaping up to be.

So if he's not that next level powercreep answer to the new hardest content...what is he? A Grassy Terrain support, and a Grass-type damage dealer. Well great news, chucklenuggets! Adaman's still top dog, and physical still dominates the Grass meta! Your own single-target damage is base 180; good but not exceptional. And that shrivels up to Razor Leaf once your Terrain dies. So you're hardly breaking new ground as a Grass damage dealer. There's an argument for him being the Special counter part to SS Acerola. It's a bad one, but it's there. But there is no competing against SS Lyra with this guy. Her utilities massively eclipse his own thanks to guaranteed flinch.

For a pair that is exclusively paid for, who has no new costume and no unique EX, this is...bizarre. It's not bad, but I wouldn't consider it the best pull of the month. I don't even consider it top three. In fact, I'd probably say all the PokeFairs are better than this guy. Yes, even you, Elaine. At least you have supreme Gauntlet potential. Red just feels really, really weird. You'd expect a paid-only pair to be game-breaking, but...he's just kinda regular good-ish.

And I think I know why. It's the 300 scout point thing, isn't it? They honest to god think that 300 scout points is being too generous, on a paid-only scout. They earnestly believe that cutting the scout points is a level of "accessible" significant enough to hold back on this pair that costs the equivalent of like $200. That "easier to pity" is enough to hold back, despite how much is demanded for it. Let this be a lesson to you, friends, about what this game truly is. This is gacha. Anything that isn't maximum exploitation is to be considered an act of supreme generosity, and comes with them taking something away in turn. Nothing is free, and they hate you for having money that isn't going to them. Don't fucking pull this Red.

[mochipon-vt]

so here's the deal...

i really really really hate coming on anywhere and fussing, ranting or lamenting about things but… i'm extremely stressed, frustrated and upset.

my main pc is fucked, apparently. for the past 3 months, i've been working off of my old, dinosaur aged pc (it's 10+ years old, barely works, has trouble booting etc) ever since my newer pc started having serious issues. over this past weekend, i was finally able to take it the shop and get it looked at. they informed me a day later that one of the ram sticks was bad (as my partner had already suspected) and i was charged 100 bucks for this discovery, that i had to borrow from my parents.

they voicemail that i had received informing me of the issues found, that if i wanted repairs, it would cost 40 bucks alone for install + whatever price i chose to spend for new ram stick(s), however, once i visited the store to actually SPEAK to someone (their phone system is trash and no one would answer/return my call), i was told any parts install would cost SIXTY bucks instead and offered new parts costing from 100-120 in range, which would ultimately make the total cost + the 100 for diagnosis, close to 200 bucks.

my partner says that's a ridiculous price to pay for something that can be popped in and out to replace but unfortunately, i'm not very knowledgeable about hardware and hardware installation so i don't feel confident in going in there myself and replacing it/them even if i got my hands on new parts and we are also long distance so he's not able to do the install for me.

what i thought should be 'thankfully', the shop took out the 'bad' stick and i was told i should be able to bring my pc home and use it RELATIVELY normally without replacing it at this time, it just would not be able to run at the same capacity as it could have if it had both sticks of ram installed. at this time, it's worked for a total of.. a day and a half normally and without issue before having the same major issues again; web browser/tabs crashing, apps fully crashing or not operating (discord is currently a blank/grey window for me right now and i have to use the browser app to even use it), inability to install anything and finally, a full blue screened pc crash; so now i'm assuming BOTH sticks were bad and the brand installed is trash. (i do not know the brand of any parts installed in my pc as my ex purchased them all months before our relationship ended)

so what's the point i'm trying to get to?

i'm in desperate need of some money. i'm a disabled, unemployed person who my parents basically resent for needing their support for survival and i've been trying VERY hard to work towards making ANY kind of income from my creative skills in order to start saving up to attempt to move out of my parents' home and across several states to live my partner as, after being kicked out and left by my ex, has landed me in yet another home that doesn't respect or treat me fairly and takes a toll on my mental health/stress and motivation/focus on a daily basis. the added daily stress of not knowing if my (EXPENSIVE) devices are reliable and functioning has made it extra difficult to stay focused and motivated to keep moving towards my goals.

i currently have no financial nor food security as my parents often (intentionally) leave me out of meals, don't allow me any cash to go shop for myself and tell me to get a job, on the rare occasions i do happen to ask for 5-10 bucks for some dinner, same as they did when i asked for them to help me repair a device that COULD be a job for me if i could just get it back to working condition.

i am VERY new to doing commissions and i understand it does take some time to establish a good work flow + trustworthy reputation as a commission artist but i am determined to work hard and as efficiently as possible to provide clients with the best possible work i can produce. i am NOT, however, new to the art market world as i've had many mutuals and friends who have had commission shops or have gone on to produce their own physical merchandise so i've had many years of observing the processes and progressions.

at this current time, i'm considering setting aside my plans for vtuber development i had for this year which would have included working on small, 'mini' debuts leading up to a larger, legit debut as i progressed to learn to make my own environment overlays and assets + relearning live2d skills to rig my own model, to solely focus on constantly making art to showcase my skills for hire. i am also considering, after polishing up my commissions page more, including smaller, bonus arts with larger piece purchases as a small thank u for people helping me gain work and funds for my needs.

i'm just.. really drained and tired of prolonged issues taking a toll on me, both general life things i've experienced most my life and now these frustrating tech problems that i hope would have been non-existent with a newer pc as i had been experiencing many troubles with my old pc for years (this new pc is only a year old). i'm ready to be able to have peace in my life and to focus on things that are fulfilling to me and bettering skills that bring me joy.

[wack-ashimself]

I congratulated my cousin then, in the same few hours, was disappointed with the USA...

My cousin & his wife bought their first house recently. He's def over 40, and drives over 2 hours ONE WAY to a major city every week day to do a heavily physical intensive job. His wife works just as hard, just as much, as a nurse (or something like that). They are good, honest, hard working people. Always have been. They are ALWAYS busy.

Anyways, they had a party, first time I was at their new house. I let them know I was proud of them (I am. Not everyone has something to show for their hard work.) As their middle kid was giving me a tour of their house, showing me her bedroom, she then PROUDLY (I'm sorry but....no) shows me her mcdonald's worker hat. I'm a terrible cousin/uncle/whatever the term is. I barely remember all my different cousins' kid's names (took me years for some. Everyone kept popping em' out). But...I thought 'she's WAY too fucking short to be 16' (in michigan). I was like '...you're not 16, right?' She goes 'nope, 14.' I was like 'why!?' She's like 'I wanted to work there*.'

But....she doesn't! Her parents work their asses off to treat their family right but, in doing so, rarely have any real spare time OR money. So the kid, to do something AND earn money to spend on her family works....the shittiest job ever. And these corporations EXPLOIT these poor families. Cuz let's not pretend somebody making 250k has their god damn kids working at walmart or burger king! Rich people write the laws to allow poor people's kids the PRIVILEGE to serve them like slaves! DO NOT SEE IT ANY OTHER WAY!!!! (How about rich people can't eat or shop at place's they never worked at that wage/position? I love that idea; trump never getting mcdonalds the rest of his life because he has never so much as cleaned his own, let alone someone else's, toilet? JOY!)

I totally understand feeling value from your work, having extra money, having something to do but....we are robbing children of their FEW years of being kids**! WE ARE A BROKEN SOCIETY! It's one thing to teach them a job of value, of skill, of NECESSITY (farming), but....fast food? HA.

And I can't put this on my real profile cuz I know it would offend everyone on that side of the family, but it's true: I'm poor, you're poor, and your kids will be in FAR WORSE excessive poverty than you can imagine, and letting it go on, let alone allowing your kid to work there, ENABLES IT!

I do not blame my cousin, his wife, or their kid. At 16, I did the same thing. But at least I had 2 more years of freedom. And I did not work EVERY single day thru all my teenage years I could have. I lived. I had fun! I MADE LIFELONG MEMORIES!

USA is a terrible fucking country and anyone who says otherwise is either rich or stupid. No grey area.

*and it has far more cons than they realize: she doesn't have a car. Can't drive. And they live off of a highway. So the parents have to plan their schedule around when they can drop her off and pick up (using hard earned gas money). Also my ex worked at THAT EXACT MCDONALDS, and got hit on by creeps. What is my cousin's TINY 14 yr old kid (I could seriously throw her like a football) supposed to do? Hope management does the right thing? Do they ever? lol Not till they're forced...

**fairly, what is there for kids to do? We paved over nature, and charged a fee to do anything or go anywhere. Kids really don't even have childhoods anymore. More...pay per view of what it's supposed to be like...

[missing-wires]

But I thought you couldn’t save Discord convos?

Technically, you can’t and it’s against TOS, but I used a third party app that extracted everything to html.

Ah, I see, how does it look?

Kinda shitty, tbh. Some of the images don’t load, but text wise everything is there. But maybe you could find a really good html viewer, that’ll make it look really good!

Haha, maybe, I’ll have to see what I can find. So what’s with these stalking claims? How did you find out where she lived?

Well, she initially she told me her name “Elizabeth,” haha so that much was never a secret. Later on, she sent me an unedited Venmo screen shot of a guy we referred to as Staff Sgt Scotty, who was this Navy aircraft mechanic, who enjoyed luring her off live streams.

White knight type of thing?

Exactly, he would pay her like $50 per hour to talk on the phone with her. One time, he wanted to talk to her for free, because he was being deployed again and asked for my advice.

Haha, what did you say?

Haha, I don’t even recall, to be honest. Maybe “Fuck that shit, charge him double” but I’m sure it’s in the convo. Anyway, she had 4 friends on Venmo, all of whom were publicly visible. I literally just typed in her ex’s name on FB, and searched “Elizabeth” on his friend list and her name popped up. I was concerned about how easy it was to find, so I told her.

Ahhh I see! And what about the pizza and the address?

Well for starters the pictures she sent me via text message were geo-tagged, so it was p obvious where she worked and lived. But even then, I wasn’t like 100% sure or anything until she confirmed it when she posted the pizza on FB.

Yeah, I mean, despite all the evidence, it was possible she could have like slept somewhere else and just been hanging out at certain place?

Haha, I mean of course. I never really cared to know her daily schedule. But like the geotagged shit was blindly obvious, why pretend like I don’t notice that shit?

Haha, bet, say how much did you pay this little bitch?

Haha, good question. First and foremost, everything I paid towards her streaming was completely refunded. Then I paid her $60 for 1 month of Snapchat access, but she cut it short after getting mad at me. My bank covered me the amount lol. I don’t know if it was a chargeback, but I told them what had happened and they covered it.

Aw that’s cool.

Yeah, so the first time i actually gave her any money at all was in early November. I sent her $100 to help with an unexpected tire/tow expense. I felt bad because she had literally just got a new car, and tried calling some “friends” but nobody would come out to help her. Left stranded, she turned to her mom, who’s always been there for her. She just sort of broke down and dropped some childhood trauma shit on her and I wanted to give her a little something to show her that I still cared, even though I had known what was going on, at that point

You knew at that point?

Haha, of course, I really just wanted her to admit it. I tried dropping hints about it, but had a hard time disguising my frustration.

Ah, that makes sense. So what, you only gave her $100?

No, I also sent her a $50 Amazon Gift Card as an early X-mas present, as well as a surprise donation of $6.66 to celebrate her reaching 666 IG followers

Aww, that’s a nice touch! Did she thank you for it?

Haha of course not, but by that point, I was never doing it for the thanks, haha. Or honestly, I don’t think I ever was doing it for the thanks. I just decided that I liked her and that was that.

Haha, I see, so in total you gave her $156.66 over the course of a year or so?

That is correct.

That’s not a big return for a year plus

Haha, no, it’s not

[doitytoity]

9.18

So Rudy and I went to breakfast today at Toledito’s downtown. I’ve never been so comfortable being uncomfortable in my life. I saw 222 multiple places. It made me smile.

Dude ugh. I don’t wanna overanalyze or anything like there is a possibility that we may just remain friends.

I had a few moments where I was like oh yeah absolutely. <— girl what

I don’t even know where I was going with that. I just felt so like, free to be myself like that was so cool. I think I was saying like he was someone I could see myself hanging out with again no matter which way it goes. There was a point at breakfast where he asked if I was confrontational and I was not (unless provoked) and he….was. And it felt like cool to be different. On both ends like I feel like we were both just existing and that was a super interesting feeling because I feel like I could take a break from overthinking at all, like I could just be my goofy wacky self and it was entertaining more or less. Like “the energy was there” is what I’m trying to say.

But there were other times where I could see that if this did turn into something more, it would be cool cause he’s just…human. Hmm I think I just discovered something very interesting. I think I understand soul mates differently now cause I was listening to autistic mystic and he was saying something about soul mates not necessarily being romantic (duh) and like, I could actively feel that today, and not in an obsessive way either like I just felt so comfortable??

But also my shit mind popped in and was like oh he just wants to have someone to have around while he hops and bops around doing the stuff he likes. Even though I ENJOYED it and I think that’s probably just wild ass insecurity telling me no one really wants to be around me, they just don’t want to be alone. Which liiiiike, both can be true but it’s kind of sad when they are… at least when the latter precedes the former as the reason.

“Tarotscoper told me…”

I didn’t have to be anyone but myself today and he was nobody but him…….. shit that’s such a different feeling. For me at least. In that capacity of a hang. Like with a new person. Duh.

Even when I was stoned and like a tad uncomfy it was cool. Like there was just an energy of it being all good. Idk.

Could’ve just been jitters on his end but he laughed so much and I just don’t want to read into that too deeply like at the very least it means we can be friends and maybe just maybe it will be something more. He mentioned today that he hasn’t spoken to his ex in a month which I thought was interesting info no matter which way you spin it.

He paid for breakfast and when I said “thank you for breakfast he was like yeah one time my uncle said if you invite someone somewhere you better pay for it so if I ask you to go somewhere I’ll probably just pay… ITS THAT WAY WITH HOMIES TOO

Like what does that mean am I set apart from homies or am I homies?????? Hmmmmmm!!!

And at the end he was like “come hang out” like with his friends and at some punk shows or whatever and I was like…… cool yeah sure just let me know when.

And like….why is that? Is it because he thinks I need friends? More importantly, why do I need the why. Why don’t I believe anyone really wants me around? It’s obviously not true. Vanessa just invited me to a Halloween thing. Adreana invites me places. People generally like me. I think I’m realized I’m in a projection phase because I don’t ~prefer~ a vast majority of personalities. But it’s so weird because I also am very accepting it’s so weird. Like I’ll be nice even when I know I don’t actually vibe.

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth is always what I’ve been told. Like, the answer will become clear in time.

I’m having so many thoughts now. I like the vibe of it being chill. I am okay with not having any answers. I will do my best to ground myself when my mind falls into runaway romance storylines. It doesn’t have to evolve for it to be meaningful. I have plenty of girlfriends I’ve never kissed or been in committed relationships with lol

But idk just the boy and girlness of it… we both ordered machaca. Him with corn tortillas and me with flour. Him with rice and beans and me with potatoes and beans. When he asked if I’ve ever had machaca, and I said “that’s what I’m ordering, I love machaca.” He laughed and said he did too.

He gives me very Eugene vibes. Like lemme break this down.

Eugene was in the navy. Eugene is very drawn to spirits. He’s very accepting, he’s artistic, he’s a very come as you are ass person. He’s Mexican with First Nations roots somewhere. Mexican Apache. Don’t know who Rudy hails from. They both laugh at the things I say, in similar ways. They both respond well to my eccentric-ish way of being. Or what I deem to be so.

His laugh was quite endearing. I like him. I really don’t want to get ahead of myself but I could see myself getting cozy. Like over time for sure. But I can imagine what a relief it might be to get close???? Idk how to make that not sound weird like I’m not grossed out by him is what I’m really trying to say here. Like I could see it evolving, idk if I already typed that or not.

I felt very aware around him. Like aware of how we are similar and different and just like feeling happy about feeling okay about someone who’s different, someone it was safe to be around.

I get such a tall wall around me so often.

I took him to a burned up house and he high fived me at the end and was like thanks for showing me this cool spot. And idk it was all just cool. It’s nice to just hang. I wonder what he’s thinking. I’m gonna have to ask my cards… 😈

[sunshinee0-0]

Hello I really like your stories they bring a smile to my face every time 🥰. And could you do maybe 11 or 4 with taehyung, Jungkook and yoongi

"If we broke up, I would get back with my ex"

♡Paring♡ Yoongi x reader, Jungkook x reader, Taehyung x reader

♡warnings♡ Tae calls your ex "ugly" possessive Jk, Grammer and spelling mistakes, anything I missed lmk :)

A/n: Hi babies sorry for the late post! I decide to go with 4 and Tbh yoongi's can go two ways, 1 he can not believe it no matter how much you try to convince him he'll be like "nice try" or 2 he can believe it and be calmly pissed, I picked the latter :)

Back to the TikTok event

♡Yoongi♡

You watch as Yoongi order something before he turns his head to look at you and ask you what you want. Giving him your order, you watch as he repeats it to the McDonald's employee, she tells him to pull up to the first window which he does. Boredom consumes you as the two of you wait in line, you try to think on what to do when the TikTok you watched an hour ago pops into your head and you decide why not do it on Yoongi. "Baby if we broke up I would get together with my ex." There's a few beats of silence before Yoongi slowly lifts his head from his phone at you, he ask you to repeat what you just said which you do. His face scrunchs in disgust, "why?" He gives the employee his card and turns back to you, "Because he's super kind and talented and he's very cute and hard working." Yoongi looks at you for a few seconds and although his face looks calm there's a raging storm in his eyes. "Why not just date him then." He pull up to the next window and grabs the both of your guys food handing it to you. "Yoongi, baby you would be my ex." He stares at you for a few seconds before his face breaks out into a gummy smile, "That was stupid." A faint blush dust his cheeks at your praise from before as he pulls out of McDonald's.

♡Taehyung♡

Taehyung's head is in your lap as you run your fingers threw his hair. The peacefulness makes your heart swell with content but being the little minx you are you decide to mess with it. "Tae?" He hums eyes still focused on the tv, "if we broke up, I would get back with my ex." The peacefulness washes away and Tae sits up, taking his head out of your lap. "Why?", "Because he-" before you can finish your sentence he cuts you off. "He's ugly." "Tae!!" You laugh. The expression on his face is priceless and the fact that he just called himself ugly without knowing makes a laugh form at the back of your throat. "He is not!" You aurge back, Taehyung gives you that bitch face and you let out another laugh. "He's the most handsome and funniest guy I have ever met." Taehyung gives you a face of disgust and a little bit of betrayal. "A blobfish is better looking then him." You laugh even harder at that and you decide to stop messing with him, "Tae you would be my ex!" Taehyung's glare turns into a little boxy grin, "oh okay then, nevermind."

♡Jungkook♡

There was a movie playing on the tv but you aren't paying attention instead you were paying attention to the TikTok on your phone , looking over at Jungkook who peacefully watching the Ghibi film. You decide to mess with him (again) "Hey Kookie, ask me what I'd do if we broke up!" He looks at you, eyebrows furrowed "why?" He whines not liking the idea of breaking up with you. "Just do it!" You whine back, "Fine, what would you do if we broke up, Jagiya?" He sighs, fiddling with your fingers. "Get back with my ex." You instantly reply back, he tightens his hold on your hand and gives you a soft glare, "why would you do that? He cheated on you and he smells." He srunches his nose at the end and you let out a little laugh. "Plus I wouldn't let you cause your mine!" You giggle as butterflies fill your stomach. "You would be my ex, dummy" He stares at you before letting out a small "ohhh." He chuckles a bit and pulls you into his lap. "Good cause I would never give you up and you can't get rid of me." He then kisses your lips.

[watchmegetobsessed]

TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part One (Harry Styles)

a/n: oh my god i am sooo thankful for the love the masterlist got with just so little info about the story! it means so much to me and i really hope i won’t disappoint you with this story! i was planning to post the first part on tuesday but i got excited bc of all the feedback and reactions and decided to start earlier, so here it is, part one of TLABL, a story im kind of proud of and very happy to share! please drop by my ask box or leave your thoughts on the story, i would love to hear everything from you guys!

pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader

warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce

word count: 11.2k

SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist

“I hope you realize this holds nothing against you, we all love and appreciate you and your work, but we had to face some unexpected problems this past year.”

You sit in front of Claire, your boss completely dumbfounded, not even comprehending what she is saying completely. You came to work this morning absolutely oblivious that today is going to be your last day of work at the daycare you’ve been working at for over two years now.

“I’m sorry, but last time you let us in on the budget you didn’t bring up any complication that might have indicated someone could lose their job, so what possible problem could have come up so abruptly?” you ask with a shocked and nervous chuckle. Part of you kind of hopes this is just some stupid joke she is playing on you, but Claire is not one to make games out of such serious things. Letting out a tired sigh she pushes her reading glasses up to the top of her head into her carefully curled hair.

“Look, I’m really trying not to make a big deal out of it, but we had to make some cuts on the budget. The kitchen and gymnasium renovation was completely unplanned and it kicked us in the butt. We are making some changes about the groups this year and it was made that it can be solved with one less person on the team. I’m sorry it had to be you, but the decision had to be made.”

“But why me?” you press. “There are two people who have been working for a shorter period of time here, didn’t I earn your trust during my time here?”

“It’s not about that, Y/N,” Claire shakes her head.

“Then what is this about?”

“If you are so keen on knowing, we’ve… received a few… complaints.” Your eyebrows shoot up to your hairline, this is the first time you’re hearing about it.

“Complaints?”

“Yes. Some parents are not quite the fan of the kind of mentality you are using while teaching the kids.”

“What are you talking about?” you ask, feeling all the blood rushing out of your face. This is starting to get way too nasty. Claire pinches the bridge of her nose before leaning onto her desk, clasping her hands together.

“I know that you are quite the free spirit and want to teach the kids about openness and acceptance, but not everyone is as rainbow as you are. Some kids brought the word home about what kind of books you’ve been reading and we’ve gotten a few concerns about you basically promoting the LGBTQ community for the kids.”

“I’m not promoting, I’m trying to teach them to accept everyone just the way they are, how can that upset anyone?!”

“Well, it does. The committee had to make a decision on who we should let go and many agreed that it might be the safest decision to make it be… you.”

You’re about to faint. You are sure you are about to fall off this chair and just black out. How can someone get mad about you reading stories about acceptance and treating everyone equally? What kind of monster can see it as a bad thing? And now you are losing your job over such a stupid thing that you don’t even feel responsible for.

Though you’d love to stay and try to convince Claire to not let you go, you know the decision has been made and if you’re being honest, you don’t feel comfortable anymore working at a place where parents tell you off for teaching important values for their kids. Sadly, but you sign all paperwork about your immediate parting and you leave Claire’s office to pack your stuff.

“Miss Y/N! Miss Y/N!” Izzy, one of the sweetest girls in your group basically launches herself at you, smashing against your legs as she hugs you happily. “Do you want to see what I just painted?” She blinks up at you with her gorgeous green eyes and your heart breaks that you won’t get to see her again.

“Oh, Sweetie. I have to—you know what? Sure. Show me your painting,” you smile at her warmly. You can’t say no to her, not when this is the last time you get to see her.

As you’re cleaning out your locker in the break room, Heather walks in and stops in her tracks, seeing you with your gloomy face as you pack everything into a cardboard box.

“What the hell are you doing?” she questions right away. The two of you have known each other for years now, you did the same master’s programme and somehow ended up working here together, carrying on the friendship you’ve formed through your school years.

“I was… fired,” you sigh, wincing at the words.

“What?! Why?”

“Apparently, we are having some budget problems with all the renovations that was made recently and unbeknownst to me, some parents have been complaining about my openness with kids so I was the lucky one to part ways with.”

“That’s fucking bullshit! The kids adore you, how can someone complain about something like that?”

“Don’t know, ask them if you ever find out who they are,” you mumble under your breath as you shut the now empty locker closed. “I’m sorry we can’t carpool anymore,” you pout at her.

“No fucks given about that, what are you gonna do now?” she asks, seemingly very bummed at the news that you won’t be working at the same place now.

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I guess I’ll have to find something new if I don’t want to end up on the streets,” you mumble.

“Oh girl, I’m so sorry,” Heather sighs pulling you into a hug. “Why don’t we go out for drinks on Friday? Everything is on me!”

“Don’t act like I’m already broke, makes me feel like a loser.”

“Sorry,” she scowls. “Just want to brighten you up a little. Meet me at seven at that Mexican place, how does that sound?”

“Stuffing my face with nachos and tequila? Sounds like the best plan I could wish for.”

You waste no time arriving home after your worst day at work. You jump right into the job ads, looking for basically anything that might help you out of this impossible situation. Sending your resume to as many places as possible, you get a few callbacks the next few days, but you only make it to one interview on Friday and that doesn’t go well either. The man who calls in for an open position at a private kindergarten turns out to be a total snob and he doesn’t find your free spirit too fitting with the profile of his institution so you get rejected at the end of the interview.

You head out to meet Heather feeling like shit. You’ve been unemployed for four days, but it’s already breaking your spirits.

“You know what? Clair is a bitch for giving in to the complaints,” Heather slams her fourth shot glass on the table with a grimace. “She should have defended you!”

“I’m sure she just didn’t want to get into any disagreement. Some of the parents donate great amounts to the school and Claire would never risk losing that money,” you sigh rolling your eyes.

“Okay, but she is being very… not inclusive,” she narrows her eyes. “Firing someone for teaching the kids openness? Bullshit.”

“I’m just sad I don’t get to see the kids anymore. They really grew close to my heart.”

“The little fuckers can be so damn cute, almost make me want to have one.” Heather sighs, downing another shot before pulling the nachos closer to her. You laugh at her vulgar reaction, she has always had quite a dirty mouth but somehow she controls herself well around the kids. “How has the job hunting been?”

“Horrible,” you growl in frustration. There are not many that offer a good paycheck and the few that does are these posh places that expect you to treat the kids like they are made out of gold which is ridiculous. That’s not how you raise a kid!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sure something will come up soon. Why don’t you look into nanny jobs, have you thought about that?”

“What do you mean?” you furrow your eyebrows, popping some chips into your mouth.

“A lot of people prefer having nannies for their little children, some even want them to move in. My brother’s ex-girlfriend was a live-in nanny for about two years and she earned a shit ton of money, because she didn’t have to pay rent and a good chunk of the food, because the parents just treated her like part of the family and bought groceries for five people instead of four.”

“I’m not sure I’m cut out for that kind of stuff.”

“What, earning money?” Heather scoffs.

“No, living with a stranger.”

“Most of the time the nanny gets like a separated place so it wouldn’t be that bad, but you know what’s good for you. It was just an idea,” she shrugs.

Soon enough you drop any work talk not wanting to ruin the mood. You enjoy some time away from the stress of job hunting and you’re just trying to have fun with your best friend. You start talking about nostalgic memories from college and end up looking up people you graduated with on social media, checking out what they’ve been up to in the past years.

“Alright, I’m gonna go to the restroom quickly, watch out for my drink,” you announce pushing your drink closer to Heather as you head towards the restrooms.

There’s a bit of a line so you stand behind two girls chatting about some cute guy they just met and leaning against the wall you close your eyes for a moment, feeling the drinks hitting you in the head. You’re not used to drinking, haven’t really had the time to get drunk too much lately and it’s saddening to think that now that you’re unemployed, you could black out every day, you wouldn’t have anywhere to show up in the morning.

Getting deep in your thoughts you almost don’t even notice that your phone is buzzing in your pocket. When you finally realize you pull it out of your back pocket and look down at the unknown number with a scowl. You quickly leave your spot in the line and rush out to hear something as you answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Hi, I hope I’m not calling at an inconvenient time, I’m Harry Styles and I’m looking to talk to Y/N Y/L/N?” you hear a thick British accent on the other end of the line.

“This is her.”

“Great. Sorry for the late call, I’m Isabelle’s father.”

“Isabelle?” you ask in confusion, the names not really clicking in your head thanks to the shots you’ve been taking.

“Isabelle Styles? Izzy?”

“Oh! Yes! Sorry, yeah. Mr. Styles, what can I help you with?” you ask, not sure why Izzy’s dad would be calling you.

“Well I just recently learned from my daughter that you’re not working at the daycare any longer?” “Uh, yeah. Unfortunately I was fired this Monday…” you awkwardly answer.

“I’m sorry about that. Izzy has been really sad about it, I wanted to ask if you’ve found a new job already?”

“Not yet, I’ve been looking but I haven’t had much luck yet,” you confess.

“In that case I have an offer to make,” he firmly continues and you perk up at his words. “I’ve been thinking about pulling Izzy out of daycare, but I didn’t want to do it until I found someone to take good care of her. You’ve been her absolute favorite and she’s been devastated since you’ve been gone. If you’re up for a job of this kind, I would like to offer you a spot as Izzy’s nanny.”

“Oh!” is all you react, completely not expecting this call.

“I know there are a lot to discuss, but if you’re interested, I would be more than happy to have a chat with you sometime this weekend? To go over the details and see if we can make it work.”

“I, uh… Um, yeah. We can meet, that sounds good. When would it be good for you?”

“How about tomorrow afternoon?”

“That can work.”

“Amazing!” he beams. “I’ll send you the address through text if that’s alright for you.”

“Yeah, of course. When should I be there?”

“Would three o’clock suit you?”

“Absolutely,” you nod, stunned at the turn of events.

“Great, thank you so much, and once again, sorry to bother you on your Friday evening. Looking forward to see you tomorrow!”

“Thank you, Mr. Styles, see you soon!”

You get back in line at the bathroom and then make your way back to the table where Heather gives you a puzzled look.

“Did you take a massive shit or something?” she jokes as you take your seat and stare back at her, still in shock.

“No, I had a very interesting call, actually.”

“With who?”

“Um, Izzy Styles’ dad just called and offered me a job as her nanny.”

Heather almost chokes on her drink, coughing at the news. You hand her a napkin as she dries her chin off from her cocktail.

“Harry Styles wants you to be the nanny of his daughter?” she gasps.

“You know Izzy’s dad?”

“Y/N, everyone knows him! He is the sexiest man to walk this planet and not to mention that he is like stupidly rich! Have you not seen him yet?”

“Not really,” you shrug. “Izzy was picked up by an old woman most of the times, I guess I never worked when her dad came for her.”

“That explains why you’re not squirming already,” she scoffs. “That man is like… crazy hot, I’m telling you. I bumped into him one morning when I guess he was dropping Izzy off, the way he said ‘Pardon me, Darling’ made my knees shake,” she tells you, faking an accent that’s nowhere near what Mr. Styles sounded like on the phone.

“Well, I guess I’ll see him for myself. I’m meeting him tomorrow to discuss details,” you shrug and Heather slams her hand on the table.

“Oh my God! You’re gonna work for Harry Fucking Styles! Get ready because your panties will be soaking wet all the time,” she laughs like a hyena.

“Heather, stop!” you shake your head laughing too.

Following Mr. Styles’ call you decide to cut the night shorter than you intended, not wanting to look absolutely wasted when you meet him. Arriving home to your small, one bedroom apartment you take a quick shower before climbing to bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to collect your thoughts. You told Heather you’re not willing to do the whole live-in nanny thing and Mr. Styles might not even want you to live with them, but now that the option is there, you realize it might not be the worst case scenario. Especially since you’re not really swimming in other job offers and you are in desperate need of anything at this point.

Despite having consumed quite some alcohol the previous night, you wake up at a reasonable hour in the morning, finding a text from Mr. Styles about the address you’d have to be going in the afternoon. You make a quick trip to the grocery store and do some chores before you start getting ready for the meeting. You opt for a simple black dress that reaches your knees and pair it with a little funkier, flower printed blazer to bring some color into the outfit.

Punching the address into the GPS you see that it’s taking you to the outer skirt of the city to the neighborhood that’s known to have some quite luxurious estates and you immediately think back to what Heather said about him being ridiculously rich. Driving down the streets in your old Volkswagen you couldn’t stand out more at a place where at least three cars park on the driveways and one of them is a Ferrari or a Porsche.

There’s a massive security gate under the address that’s your destination and it’s left open so you can pull up to the driveway easily. You park next to a fucking Tesla, finding it extremely funny to see your car next to it, but it is what it is. Walking up to the front door you ring the bell as you take a look at the house that can easily considered to be a mansion. Guessing from the outside there are at least about five bedrooms in it and you can only imagine what other luxurious units are squeezed into it.

Soon enough the front door opens and you find yourself staring back at a breathtakingly gorgeous man, wearing a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black suit pants, his chocolate curls falling to his forehead as his emerald eyes fall on you, a warm smile tugging on his lips.

Shit. Heather was fucking right, you think to yourself swallowing hard.

“Miss Y/L/N, it’s so nice to see you. I’m Harry, Izzy’s dad, come on in!” he invites you inside before a short handshake.

“Nice to meet you too, Mr. Styles.”

“Please, just call me Harry. I don’t like formalities at home,” he asks you as the two of you walk further inside until you arrive to what looks like a living room, but it’s actually the size of your apartment.

“Only if you call me Y/N,” you smile at him and he nods right away.

“Miss Y/N!” you hear a small voice call out and turning around you see Izzy running down the hallway until she throws herself against your legs.

“Oh, hello Sunshine!” you hum, squatting down so you can hug her.

“I missed you!” she pouts, rubbing her eyes.

“I missed you too,” you smile at her, caressing her soft cheeks before standing up. An older lady walks in, the one you’ve seen picking up Izzy. She approaches you with a friendly smile as she extends a hand towards you.

“Hi, I’m Ruth, it’s nice to meet you.” “Y/N, nice to meet you too.”

“Ruth, would you take Izzy outside while I talk to Miss—erm, Y/N here?” Harry requests. Ruth nods and taking Izzy’s hand she lures her outside to look for ladybugs in the backyard and that immediately catches her attention. The two of them leave through the sliding door, giving you and Harry privacy.

“Please, have a seat,” he gestures towards the sectional couch. “Would you like something to drink?”

“I’m good, thank you,” you smile at him as he sits in an armchair across you.

The interior of the house is quite cozy, kind of modern with a hint of vintage touches that make it less rigid, a pop of color showing at most corners so it’s not too monochrome. You quite like it.

“Y/N, I once again apologize for calling you at such an inappropriate hour, but I often work late and I wanted to get in touch with you as soon as possible upon hearing the news.”

“Don’t worry about it, I understand.”

“Isabelle mentioned it to me on Thursday that the other workers told her you no longer work at the daycare so I asked around a little yesterday and was informed that they let you go earlier in the week.”

“It was quite sudden for me as well,” you chuckle lightly, feeling a little anxious to talk about it.

“I know it’s not too appropriate, but I asked why they chose you to part ways with and I have to say it’s outraging that some parents are so ignorant and wayward. I’m really sorry this had to be the reason out of everything.”

“Thank you.” It actually feels nice that he thinks the same, this whole firing was ridiculous and you were losing hope in humanity, but Harry is now very much restoring it.

“Let me walk you through what the situation is here and what I was thinking about.” You nod and listen carefully. “I’m president of a record label and it consumes most of my time, I sometimes work sixty hours a week which I know is not ideal and healthy and I’m trying to change it, but it’s not an easy situation. I thought that putting Izzy into daycare was a good idea, but it’s been getting harder to work around her schedule as a single parent with so much work on my hands. Ruth is a family friend who has been helping tremendously with Izzy, but she is not getting any younger and she would like to retire fully and spend more time with her own grandkids. So I’ve been thinking about hiring a nanny for Izzy and try to make her days work around mine while I’m able to do that. She is going to start preschool in little over a year and I want to spend as much time with her as possible, but it’s not easy when the schedule depends on an institution. When she told me about your firing I had the thought that you might be interested in taking the spot as her nanny. She is obsessed with you, wouldn’t stop talking about what you do every day, and I might have also looked into your professional background. I like what I’ve seen and I’m very much into the way you’ve been dealing with the kids at the daycare. Openness is really important and I want Izzy to grow up in an environment that teaches her about being equal and supportive towards each other. I would be more than happy if you’d be the one taking care of Izzy while I’m not available.”

To say the east you’re stunned at how forward and open he was about the offer and his compliment about your professional background is quite flattering. You can tell he is doing an amazing job at raising Izzy as an open and accepting human, she was always one of the nicest and sweetest kids who always made sure to include all her peers in the games you played. And it’s obvious Harry is not just being a hypocrite, his tattooed arm, painted nails and ring clad fingers are not quite what you’d traditionally imagine a man like him wear, but he does it well and clearly doesn’t give a fuck what others might think about it.

Harry continues with how much he thought you’d be earning for the job and you almost choke on your own saliva. It’s almost three times as much as you’ve been earning at the daycare and you’d be able to save a good chunk every month which is quite amazing.

“I have to ask, were you thinking about a situation where I live with you or I’d have to be coming here every day?”

“Well, essentially it would be the easiest for everyone if you moved in. I have plenty of rooms you could choose from and you’d have access to everything else as well, of course, including the home gym, the pool, the sauna and the entertainment room. But I understand if you are not willing to make that commitment. If you choose to live here you wouldn’t be charged anything, naturally.”

This actually sounds like a dream, moving into this luxury mansion from your cramped little apartment and being able to save the money you’ve been paying on rent.

“And what would be the time management? If I moved in it would easily make me fall into a habit of always working, which is not quite ideal,” you point it out.

“Of course,” he nods. “I like to take care of her morning routine so you’d have to start around nine when I leave to the office. If we can make this deal working I’d like her to start taking some extra classes during the day, moving her activities earlier in the day so her afternoons would be free. She takes piano lessons on Mondays and Wednesdays, a swimming instructor comes here on Thursdays and she is taking French lessons every Tuesday and Friday. Everything takes place here, I would reschedule her activities to take place between nine and twelve. You wouldn’t have to worry about her during those times. You’d cover lunch time and then the afternoons. I try to get home between four and six and just work from home if it’s possible so I can be around her. You’d have to only help out whenever I can’t make it home in time I have urgent works that have to be done from home. We could have dinner time together and then her night time routine is my duty again. Ruth is willing to help me out on Saturdays and I spend Sundays with her strictly without any work distraction so you’d have the weekends off unless something comes up. In those cases I would check in with you beforehand and arrange it however it works best for you.”

You’re speechless for a moment. What he just shared doesn’t seem too bad, you might have to work a lot more, but being one on one with just one kid is much easier than dealing with fifteen of them at once. Not to mention that the money is still amazing compared to what you’d have to be doing.

“I’m gonna be honest with you, it’s an amazing offer. Izzy is such a sweet girl, I would be more than happy to take care of her.”

Harry smiles at you warmly, clearly proud of his daughter, as he should be.

“Can I ask for some time to think about it? It would be a huge commitment.” “Of course. Take your time and let me know whatever your decision is.”

“Thank you.”

Harry offers a quick tour in the house regardless, the kitchen is massive, they have a nice dining area with floor-to-ceiling windows looking out to the green slopes of the backyard that seems to be Izzy’s kingdom. She has a playhouse that could almost function as a real one, the pool is filled with floaties for her and she has her own playground further in the back with slides, monkey bars and a swing set. Your assumptions were almost right about the number of bedrooms. Beside Harry’s master and Izzy’s own room there’s one that’s been used by Ruth, one that’s for Harry’s mother and sister for whenever they are staying over and there are three additional rooms now serving as guest bedrooms, one of those would be turned into your room if you chose to move in. The gym seems better than the one you’ve been going whenever you felt like being a little active, the entertainment room has everything you could ever think about for a room this sort of and the sauna is already calling your name. Living and working here might actually feel like a vacation.

“Miss Y/N! Look what I found!” Izzy runs up to you when you and Harry step out to the backyard, holding her pointing finger up. A ladybug is wandering around her tiny finger, not even bothering with the amazed girl that’s inspecting it.

“Wow! How many dots do you see on it?” you ask and she knits her eyebrows together, counting the black dots.

“Five!”

“Yes, good job!” you ruffle her curls as she smiles up at you proudly. She really is an angel, you’ve grown to like her a lot and you would be lying if you said you didn’t get emotional over thinking about never seeing her again. Being able to take care of her and give her the best possible childhood would be such a dream and the chance to do that is right in front of you.

“I’ll be waiting for your call, Y/N,” Harry smiles at you walking you towards the front door.

“Harry, I don’t think you need to do that,” you speak up and see his face fall, he obviously took it the wrong way, thinking that you want to say no to his offer.

“Oh…”

“It’s not that,” you chuckle softly. “I would love to take the job. And if you’re still okay with that, I’d like to move in, it would make everything just so much easier.”

You watch as his expression changes from disappointed to hopeful as he cracks a smile nodding.

“Yeah, the offer is still there. When do you think you can start?”

“How soon do you want to pull Izzy out of daycare?”

“As soon as possible. If I have to I can go in on Monday and do all the paperwork. You could move in sometime during the week maybe?”

“I have to talk to my landlord about my lease, but I’m fine with moving in during the week,” you nod smiling and you can’t help but feel excited.

“That would be wonderful. Thank you so much. I’m looking forward to working with you.”

You discuss a few more details and then you head out, thinking about how the next time you’ll be coming here, you’ll be moving in.

“If this one doesn’t go to the donate box, I’m leaving right now.”

Heather holds up a pair of denim shorts, painted in the colors of the flag of the States. She holds it pinched between her index finger and thumb as if it was something nasty and disgusting

“You know I only bought that for that stupid frat party. I never wore that anywhere else, so you can put it into the donate box.”

“Thank God!” she groans and throws the shorts into said box.

It’s Sunday evening and your place looks like a warzone, boxes taking up the place everywhere as you’re packing your life up to officially move into the Styles mansion. You agreed with Harry to bring over a good chunk of your stuff on Monday and then settle in for real on Tuesday. He is pulling Izzy out of daycare first thing on Monday and you’d stay at home with her for the first time on Wednesday. It’s been a fast paced change, but you couldn’t care less. With the amount Harry is gonna pay you, you’ll be able to save up a good chunk every month, like you always wanted to.

As you finish putting your books away you reach the shelves that contain all your photo albums. Photography has been your passion for a long time. It started as a simple hobby sometime through your freshman year in high school, but in senior year, your photos filled the yearbook and you even did the design of it too. You’ve had a few gigs since then, some weddings and pregnancy shoots and you like to sell your photos individually as well. You wouldn’t have imagined how much a simple nature photo costs.

Flipping through the one on the top, you can’t help the bitter smile on your face as you see the photos from your brother’s 14th birthday three years ago. There are tons of family pictures with you, your brother Trevor and your parents, seemingly being all happy and joyful. Things were different back then and you didn’t see anything coming.

It’s past midnight by the time you more or less finish packing, you’ve filled three big boxes with things to donate so you have significantly less stuff to move to the Styles mansion in the morning. Heather spends the night, but leaves early in the morning since she needs to go to work. The moving van you rented out arrives a little after eleven and the two guys from the moving company helps you load it with about two thirds of your stuff. Harry is at work when you arrive and Izzy is still at the daycare, Ruth is the only one at home, she helps you out even though you tell her not to break a sweat over it.

“Let me help, makes me feel needed,” she chuckles sweetly when you try to get her to stop, but she insists on bringing in some smaller bags and boxes.

You’re still unpacking when Ruth arrives back with Izzy a little after four. You hear her little feet tapping against the floor as she runs down the hallway, bursting into your future room.

“Miss Y/N! You’re here!” she cheers, throwing herself into your arms as you sit on the floor, being the perfect level for the little girl.

“I am! How was your day, little Sunshine?”

“We finger painted and I made a painting for daddy, do you want to see it?”

“Of course!”

Izzy disappears to get her backpack from Ruth who is making her some snacks in the kitchen. She soon returns with her painting, presenting it to you proudly.

“Look! This is me and this is daddy!” she points at the two human-like figures, the only thing giving away who is who is that one of them is bigger than the other one. “And then this is mommy!” she then adds, pointing at a star in the upper corner of the painting and you freeze.

In the midst of everything, you didn’t even have the time to question why Harry is a single parent. To be honest your first guess would have been divorce, but Izzy’s painting is telling you something a lot more tragic.

“It’s beautiful,” you smile at her, trying to hide your surprise at the new information. “I’m sure he’ll love it.”

Ruth makes sure Izzy is busy while you finish up unpacking and when you’re about to be done, Harry arrives home. Approaching your room even though the door is open he knocks on the doorframe, catching your attention.

“Hello, just wanted to see how things are going. Do you need help with anything? I’m sorry I couldn’t be here to help with the boxes and all…”

“Hi! Oh don’t worry about that, I had plenty of help,” you shrug smiling. “Everything is going fine, thank you.”

“Great. I did all the paperwork today, tomorrow is going to be Izzy’s last day at daycare. You’re still up to start on Wednesday, right?”

“Yeah, of course. I only have a few things left at home so I’ll be all set by tomorrow.”

“Thank you so much,” he smiles warmly. “And thank you for being so quick about everything. It means a lot to me that I can spend more time with Izzy thanks to you. I really appreciate it.”

“I should be thanking you the opportunity. I wasn’t really drowning in the job offers,” you chuckle making him smile as well. “Please let me know if you want me to change anything, I have a plan I would like to go around with Izzy’s days, but of course, your word is the most important.”

“I trust you to take good care of her during the day. The only thing I want is to have her home when I get home. Ruth couldn’t always pick her up before and I really hated to do the extra trip and pick her up from daycare instead of coming straight home to be with her.”

“Understandable. I’ll make sure to plan accordingly,” you nod smiling.

“Y/N, I want you to feel home as much as possible. This is your place just as much as it is ours now. Izzy and I go grocery shopping every Sunday, it’s kind of a father-daughter thing we do every week. We keep a list on the fridge, feel free to add whatever you need and we’ll get it.”

You can’t help the smile that stretches across your lips, because this is such a sweet thing to do, when Harry could easily afford someone to do the work for him. Yet he still uses this time to be with his daughter.

“Yeah, sure, thank you!”

“I’ll get out of your hair now. Would you like to stay for dinner?”

“Oh, no, but thank you. I still have some things to take care of before tomorrow.”

“Alright,” he nods before walking out. He leaves you thinking hard about him. You wonder what really happened to Izzy’s mom and if he is dating someone right now. A man like him is basically a dream to any woman, you doubt he is having a hard time finding a partner, but you haven’t seen any sign of another woman around the house. Guess you’ll have to wait and figure it out yourself.

The apartment is awfully empty on your last night here. When you moved in about a year ago you didn’t think you’d be moving into a mansion from here. You spend the evening cleaning out a bit so you leave the place in good condition. Your landlord was terribly nice about your early leave, you could easily agree that you’d pay for the two more weeks that’s left from the month and that would be all, no extra costs for moving out before your lease was up.

You’re cleaning off the kitchen counter when your phone starts ringing, it’s a video call from your brother.

“Hey there! What’s up?” you ask, propping up the phone on top of the microwave while you move around, doing your thing. Trevor seems to be lying in bed, a black hoodie covering his upper body.

“Hello, just wanted to see how the moving has gone today.”

Despite the ten year age gap between you and Trevor, your relationship couldn’t be better. Probably because you were old enough to see what a blessing a sibling really is when he was born.

“Everything went smoothly. I only have a few stuff to bring over, that can fit into my car tomorrow, so it’s fine.”

“Cool. How is the dude? What was his name again?”

“Harry. Harry Styles.” You see him pull his laptop to his lap and probably searches up Harry’s name before his eyes widen at the screen.

“This dude is big! He is the president of HES Records, they run some of the most popular singers these days.”

“Yeah? I was sure he is a big name judging from his mansion,” you chuckle.

“Have you looked him up yet?”

“Not really.” “Want me to read what’s here about him?”

“Sure,” you hum, continuing to clean while you listen to Trevor.

“Alright. Apparently he is thirty-one, took over the record company when he was just twenty-five because his father wanted to retire early. The number of talents working under the label has doubled since he has taken over and many of his clients have won Grammy Awards. Impressive,” he hums, scrolling down on whatever site he has just found. “He is known to be a private person, the last time he made an appearance… Oh shit…” Trevor breathes out and you turn to your phone with furrowed eyebrows.

“What?”

“Wow, this shit is heavy. It says the last time he made a public appearance was in 2017, not long before his wife was killed in a car accident.”

You freeze, feeling your stomach drop to the floor, immediately thinking back at Izzy’s painting of her family. It very much makes sense why she said the star was her mother, it must be the way Harry explained to her what happened to her mother.

“It happened in 2018, she wasn’t in the fault, a drunk driver ignored the red light and ran into her car at a crossroad. This is terrible, oh God.”

“Poor Izzy, she probably doesn’t even know what really happened.”

“Must have been hard on him, there’s not much about him since then.”

“Can’t blame him for not wanting to be in the spotlight after losing his wife.”

“Yeah.”

Trevor shows you a few pictures of him from years ago, he has always been handsome, but your favorites are the few from the times when he had long hair. He looked so different, like a whole other person, but still, he rocked it perfectly.

Then you show Trevor around in the empty apartment before loving to the couch, turning all your attention to him.

“How have things been?” you ask with a sigh. Trevor purses his lips and shrugs.

“Other than the constant screaming matches on the phone and endless fights every time dad comes over for more of his stuff? Everything is rainbows and butterflies.”

“Is it really that bad?” you scowl.

“It’s like they never run out of stuff to throw at each other, but I feel like this much couldn’t happen even in their twenty-eight years together,” he scoffs making you chuckle.

“I’m sorry you’re stuck in the middle of all that.”

“It’s like payback,” he hums and you give him a puzzled look. “You had it bad growing up for being the surprise baby, making them teen parents. Then I came at a reasonable time, they already knew the drill, but now that you’re out of the house I’m getting all the shit, having to deal with their divorce.”

“I’m really sorry, Trev,” you sigh, feeling guilty that he is all alone at home.

“It’s fine, I don’t blame you,” he shrugs. “But you could make it better if you asked your millionaire boss if I could hang out at his house sometimes.” He grins at you slyly and you roll your eyes. Of course he is already thinking about using you for his own good!

“I don’t want to push the boundaries just yet, but I’ll see what I can do.”

You talk a little more about school and what he’s been up to with his friends before ending the call. You take a shower and go to bed right away, feeling extremely worn out from all the packing you’ve done through the day.

The next day you pack the remainder of your stuff into your car and then your landlord comes over to do a checkup, though he fully trusts you took good care of the place.

“Again, thank you for your understanding, I didn’t plan to leave so early, but it just kinda came up,” you tell him, handing him over your keys.

“Don’t worry about it. I hope your new place will treat you right,” he smiles kindly at you.

You chat a little longer before you leave and head over to your new home. Once again, Ruth is the only one home and being the angel that she is, she helps you to carry your stuff up from the car before leaving to get Izzy from daycare. Since there’s not much left to unpack you finish quite fast, leaving you some extra time alone in the house. Walking around you try to learn your way around, still finding it a bit of a maze. You find Harry’s home office’s door open and after a bit of hesitation you step inside, just taking a look around. Yeah, it’s kind of a nosy thing to do, but you couldn’t help yourself.

His space is quite clear, he keeps his stuff neatly organized. Certificates and plaques are hung up on the wall, showing off his many successes in the business. There’s a huge bookcase near his desk and there you see some family photos… ones that include his late wife as well.

She was beautiful. There’s a picture of the three of them in the hospital from the day Izzy was born, Harry has an arm around his wife’s shoulders who is holding baby Izzy, both of them radiating happiness as they just become parents. Your heart breaks when you see the photo next to it, it’s just Harry and her in Paris, the Eiffel tower standing tall behind them as they are grinning widely at each other, foreheads touching. Harry has his arms wrapped around her slim figure while she is hugging his neck. They look so happy and in love, like they were always meant to be with each other. Knowing what tragedy hit them is just hard to process even for you, who never even met the woman.

You hear the front door open and Izzy is laughing at something, so you rush out before anyone could catch you snooping around.

“Hi Miss Y/N!” she chirps upon seeing you when you meet them in the living room.

“Izzy, you don’t have to call me Miss Y/N, Y/N is perfectly fine,” you smile at her, caressing her rosy cheeks.

“Okay. Ruth, can I please have some ice-cream?”

“I’m afraid we ran out of ice-cream, but I’ll put it on your grocery list,” Ruth tells her, a pout tugging on Izzy’s lips.

“How about this: I’m gonna make a delicious smoothie, that’s almost like melted ice-cream, would you like some?” you offer and her eyes brighten up immediately, nodding right away.

While Ruth puts away Izzy’s things they brought home from daycare, while the two of you move to the kitchen to make the smoothie together. You find some frozen berries in the freezer and pair them with bananas, putting them all into the blender with oatmilk, blending it all together.

“How is it?” you ask Izzy, who is sitting on top of the counter, tasting the pink smoothie that leaves a cute little mustache above her cherry lips.

“I like it!” she smiles, scrunching her nose.

“We can make it some other time then,” you smile, drinking up your portion.

Izzy is dancing around the kitchen, babbling about her last day at daycare while you clean the glasses and the blender when Harry arrives. He is wearing a baby blue suit with a crispy dress shirt underneath, looking fashionable but still business appropriate at the same time.

“Daddy!” Izzy launches towards her daddy, who catches her, throwing her into the air before holding her in his arms, joining you in the kitchen.

“Hey baby. How was your day?”

“Good, all my friends hugged me but I told them we would meet in the park.”

“That’s right, and I have the number of all your friends’ parents, we can have playdates with them whenever you want to,” he smiles before his eyes meet yours. “Hi Y/N, everything went well with the rest of your moving?”

“Yeah, I’m all set,” you smile back at him.

“That’s great. I have a few calls to make, but I’ll be done in thirty probably. Would you mind looking out for Izzy in the meanwhile?”

“Of course. She promised me to take me around her room, so we could do that, what do you say?” you ask the little girl who nods in excitement.

Harry disappears in his office and Izzy pulls you to her room, showing you just about every toy she owns. Her room is a typical girl’s room, the walls are painted a light pink color, her bedframe resembles a castle and she has a dollhouse as big as your previous bathroom. Harry clearly spoils her rotten, but what you noticed is that she is not one of those annoying bratty only children who can’t take no. She was clearly taught how to behave and always listen to the adults.

While Izzy is putting her stuffed animals away after introducing you to all of them, you spot a photo frame near her bed, decorated with macaroni. You remember when you all did that together at daycare and now you get to see the photo that ended up behind the glass.

It’s a photo of Izzy and her mother, she was just a baby and doing quick math in your head you realize it must have been not long before her accident, might even be the last picture taken of the two of them. Her mom is smiling at the camera while Izzy is sleeping in her arms peacefully. Izzy looked a lot like her when she was a baby, the bridge of her nose and her lips resembled her mother’s, though now she appears to take more after her dad with her chocolate curls and piercing green eyes.

“That’s my mommy,” she tells you when she sees you looking at the photo.

“It’s a nice picture,” you smile at her, trying your best to hide how heartbroken you feel even just looking at the photo.

“Daddy said she had to go up to the sky, but she is watching me from there,” she explains, clearly not entirely sure what it means, but you can tell she misses her. “Daddy said she is living between the stars now and that she loves me very much.” You need to fight your tears back at her words.

“I’m sure of that too,” you breathe out smiling at her.

“Izzy, do you want to help me make dinner?” Harry walks in smiling, though it disappears for a moment when he sees the two of you looking at the photo of his wife, but he is quick to control himself.

“Yes! What are we making?” she runs over to him, jumping up and down.

“Uh, chicken and veggies.”

You step away from the photo, pretending like nothing just happened. You’re dying to discuss it with Harry, hear him talk about it, but you won’t push him. If he wants to share it, he’ll come to you.

“Alright, come on then,” he smiles down at her. “Thank you for watching her, I’ll take over from here. Food will be ready in about an hour, Ruth is staying with us as well,” he informs you.

“Great, I’ll… I’ll be in my room,” you nod.

The first two weeks on the job brush past smoothly. It takes you some time to get used to your new home, but taking care of Izzy doesn’t feel like work, so you’re feeling amazing in your new job. You easily fall into a schedule with her.

The mornings are always Harry’s duty. He wakes her up around seven-thirty, makes her breakfast and dresses her for the day before he leaves around nine. Thanks to this habit of his, you’re able to sleep in until eight, leaving you plenty of time to get ready for your day with Izzy before Harry has to leave. Depending on the weather, the two of you then either take over the back yard or move to her room for some play time before her class of the day starts in the noon. Piano with Rosaline on Mondays and Wednesdays, French lesson with Lyon on Tuesdays and Fridays and then Izzy’s favorite on Thursdays, swimming class with Kitty.

Izzy loves to help in the kitchen so you usually make lunch together. Once her tummy is full she takes a nap before you sit down to learn something new every day. You’ve been teaching her the numbers and the alphabet, or some days you just talk about anything that interests her and learn at least two things she hasn’t know yet, all through games so she doesn’t even realize what you’re doing. You’re usually done by around three, leaving you time to take a visit to the park, if Harry is not planning to take her himself later that day.

You’re strictly home by four, unless it’s Tuesday when she has her dance class until five. Those days you drive her to her class, run some quick errands and pick her up. Harry usually uses his extra time in the office on these days, but he is always home by six to have dinner together with his daughter.

Once Harry is home you’re off duty, though you like to stay close, not just in case something comes up for Harry, but because you genuinely like spending time with Izzy and Harry, seeing them interacting.

Harry sometimes has to work on Saturdays as well, but just as he promised Ruth is always here to take over duty on those days, leaving you free for the whole weekend. It’s been working perfectly for you and those very few concerns you had about moving in dissolve quite fast as soon as you start working.

Though it’s been pretty clear to you before, you now one hundred percent sure that Harry is living for his daughter. She is always a priority, he doesn’t hesitate to decline any work calls he gets in the evenings if Izzy needs him, if she is a little fussy and wants her daddy’s attention or when they are in the middle of a game. He is clearly trying to keep a balance between his work and role as a father and from what you’ve seen, it seems like he is doing an amazing job in that. However you haven’t learned much else about him. He is all friendly towards you, but makes sure to keep it business casual, not quite keen on getting to know each other better as just friends, maybe.

A Friday afternoon you’re having a little tea party in the backyard with Izzy when Harry arrives home, but this time, he is not alone. Through the sliding door you spot him with a blonde guy who is talking very articulately as Harry is typing on his phone. The man looks about Harry’s age, but you can’t tell if he is a friend or a business partner, but if Harry brought him home, he is more likely to be a friend of his.

“Uncle Niall!” Izzy gasps when he spots the man through the glass and abandoning the tea party, she starts running towards the door. The man spots her and slides the door open grinning widely before she jumps into his arms.

“Little bugger! How are ya?” the man laughs, holding Izzy in a tight hug before leaning back to take a good look at her. You notice his thick Irish accent and it suits his appearance quite well. You head inside as well, in case Harry needs Izzy busy for a little longer, though he doesn’t mind having her around, kissing the top of her head before finishing up whatever he was doing on his phone, watching Niall and Izzy smiling.

“I’m having a tea party with Y/N, wanna join?” Izzy invites the man, who then looks at you for the first time, smiling widely.

“Hi, I’m Y/N, Izzy’s new nanny,” you introduce yourself, holding out a hand that he shakes, keeping Izzy in his other arm without a problem.

“Nice to meet ya, I’m Niall.”

“Y/N, Niall is an old friend of mine. He is joining us for dinner, hope you don’t mind,” Harry informs you and you find it funny how he is kind of asking for your approval when it’s his house.

“Not at all.”

“Harry has told me he hired a pair of new hands to help, but he didn’t mention it’s a stunning young woman!” Niall beams, making you blush right away.

“Ni, I would appreciate it if you didn’t try to pick up my daughter’s new nanny,” Harry warns him lightly, though there’s some firmness in his tone, not that it scares Niall in any way, he even winks at you.

“Oh come on, you can’t expect me not to flirt when you surround yourself with so many pretty women! First Ruth and now Y/N!”

You smile at him, something is telling you he wasn’t joking and he tried to flirt with Ruth as well. Harry just rolls his eyes at his friend, taking Izzy from him.

“Keep it in your pants, Niall,” Harry tells him and though it’s nothing vulgar, it catches Izzy’s attention.

“What should he keep in his pants?” she questions, making your and Harry’s eyes grow big right away. Luckily, Niall keeps his cool and takes care of the situation.

“My attitude, Sweetie. Your daddy is just jealous because I’m more handsome than he is,” he smirks at the little girl, successfully avoiding an awkward conversation about what it is that Niall should keep in his pants.

You smile at his reply, even though you are not that sure about the comparison he just made between himself and Harry.

“Izzy, do you want to continue the tea party?” you ask her and even though just a minute ago she was inviting Niall to join her, now she shakes her head no. “Alright, I’ll pack it up then.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. We’ll do it, right Izzy? She brought it all out, she is going to be the one packing it up,” Harry reminds her and she nods.

The two of them move outside to put her little tea set back into the basket she keeps it in, leaving you and Niall alone.

“So Y/N, how did you end up here?”

“I was working at Izzy’s daycare, but they sent me away not long ago. Then Harry contacted me and offered the job which was a lifesaver, truly.”

“That’s great! Well, not that you got fired, but that you ended up here. I know it means a lot for Harry that he can spend more time with Izzy, you’re making everything a lot easier for him.” Niall walks over into the kitchen and grabs a water for himself as he leans against the counter. “I can see that he is a lot more relaxed now already.”

“Really?” you ask, surprised.

“Yeah. I know he always used to stress about picking Izzy up, or forgetting something the daycare asked for. Now he can make it all work just how he wants to, that fits him a lot more. It hasn’t been easy on him since Maggie’s death.”

This is the first time you hear anyone talk about Harry’s wife and now you just learned her name. Maggie.

“Being a single parents is never easy,” you add with a soft smile, not wanting to interrogate Niall about Maggie. It’s Harry’s place to tell you about her, if he wants to, of course.

Soon enough Izzy and Harry take over the kitchen, Niall helping them this time and you leave them alone, taking some time for yourself in your room. Later you go out to check if there’s anything you could help with, Harry asks you to set the table as he finishes up the cooking.

“So, Y/N. Tell me a little bit about yourself!” Niall asks you over dinner.

“Um, what do you want to know?” you ask, feeling a little flustered to be in the spotlight.

“I don’t know, family, friends, hobbies?”

“Well, I have a younger brother, Trevor. He is seventeen and already taller than me.”

“Oh, that seems like a big age gap.”

“Ten years, to be exact,” you nod. “He was planned, I wasn’t,” you add with a soft chuckle. “But we have a great relationship, so it’s all good. We talk almost every day.”

“I’m sure you’ll get well along with Gemma then!” Niall beams, glancing at Harry.

“Gemma is my sister,” Harry explains. “Though she is not that much older than me.”

“But you can bond over being stuck with a younger brother who outgrew you,” Niall jokes making all three of you laugh.

All through dinner you realize how different Niall is from Harry, but in a good way. While Harry is more quiet and calm, Niall is kind of all over the place, buzzing and chatting every chance he got, but the two of them make a great pair, bringing what the other doesn’t have to the table.

After dinner you attempt to leave them again, but Niall makes you stay as they open a glass of wine. Harry puts on a movie for Izzy to keep her busy, giving the three of you a chance to sit out at the terrace from where you still can keep an eye on the little girl inside.

“Alright, Y/N. When are we going on our first date then?” Niall asks out of the blue, a cocky smile tugging on his lips.

“Niall, for fuck’s sake,” Harry breathes out as you let out an awkward chuckle.

“What? I think there’s some electricity going on between us.”

“I, uhh—I don’t…”

“Please don’t turn me down!” he sighs dramatically, making you smile.

“You’ve been great company, but I’m not sure we should go out,” you tell him. He huffs in disappointment, but it’s clear he didn’t take it to his heart.

“Is it because you’re taken? I didn’t even ask, are you dating anyone? You can’t be engaged, because I don’t see any rings,” he points out, nodding towards your naked fingers, however his words make you suck on your breath.

“I’m not engaged. Not anymore,” you admit and you watch their eyes go wide at the information.

“Wait, you’ve been engaged before?” Harry asks, clearly surprised, if not shocked.

“Yeah. For about four months,” you nod, running your tongue over your lips as you reach for your wine, taking a few large gulps.

“And what did the fucker do?” Niall bluntly questions, earning a look from Harry. “What? I’m just curious what twat it takes to lose a woman like her!”

“Maybe she doesn’t want to talk about that,” Harry presses, but you shrug.

“It’s not a secret. We dated for about two years before he proposed. I said yes, started planning the wedding and everything, then found out that he had been cheating on me with his assistant for about a year. We broke up, simple as that. It’s in the past, happened a year ago.”

“That’s some next level asshole bullshit,” Niall shakes his head while Harry is just staring at you with an unreadable look before he turns his attention at his glass, still clearly deep in his thoughts and you wonder what he thinks of you now. Here is the loser who not only got cheated on, but lost her job, all of that just in one year.

Harry doesn’t react, and a moment later Izzy comes out because she is thirsty, so daddy duties call him away. Niall stays a little, but heads home soon as well.

“It was nice meeting you, Y/N. The date still stands though,” he smirks when he pulls back from the short hug he enveloped you in.

“Alright,” you chuckle, slowly getting used to his flirty act.

You was the wine glasses and head back to your room while Harry walks Niall out and then takes Izzy upstairs to give her a bath. You don’t cross paths until later when you leave your room, already in your pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt to grab some water for yourself and he walks out of Izzy’s room just then, probably done with putting her to sleep.

“I’m sorry if Niall made you uncomfortable, he didn’t mean to be rude or anything,” he apologizes as the two of you walk together.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” you chuckle softly. “It was kind of a boost to my ego, if I’m being honest.”

Harry huffs with a smile and stops at the kitchen island, his fingers tapping on his lips as you grab yourself a bottled water.

“I’m… I’m sorry about… about what you told us earlier.”

Closing the fridge you look at him, seeing that he is kind of hesitant, like he is not sure he should have spoken up, but you appreciate the thought.

“It’s alright. Just water under the bridge,” you shrug.

“I just feel bad you had to go through that.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” you chuckle softly. “It sucked, yeah. I really thought I would live happily ever after with Keith, but instead I got a lesson.”

“A lesson?”

“When we broke up I was obviously on the floor, both literal and theoretical way. I thought it was my fault, that I did something wrong and that’s why he did what he did. I even thought that I’m not worthy of being loved and being in love again. Took me time to realize that no matter what happened, I still deserve to be happy and to find someone to love and who can love me back.”

It appears that your words touch him deep, staring back at you, he just nods shortly, not replying to anything you just said. You’re not sure he is so silent because he doesn’t really understand what you just talked about or if it hit too close to home. Whatever it is, he keeps it to himself.

“Good night, Harry,” you smile at him before walking out of the kitchen and up into your room.

You’re lying in bed already when you hear him open his room’s door and then close it and suddenly he is all you can think about. The way his eyes sometimes pierce down on you, the way he taps his fingers against his lips when he is thinking hard or the proud smile that always plasters across his face whenever he is watching Izzy do basically anything. But you do see some pain in those beautiful green eyes of his and your desire to take just the smallest fracture of it away grows, even though he is not showing any sign that he is willing to share it with you.

The next morning, despite having the day off, you wake up quite early. You toss and turn, try to fall back asleep a little longer, but you just can’t. It’s a nice, warm morning and you decide to take advantage of the little balcony attached to your room. Wrapping yourself in your fluffy robe you grab the book you started reading a few days ago and sit out, enjoying the morning Sun that’s shining right at you on the balcony.

You don’t even realize for a while that you’re not the only early riser. When your eyes wander down to the big oak tree that’s near Izzy’s playground, you spot Harry doing what appears to be yoga on a green mattress, wearing nothing else, just a pair of black shorts. No shirt.

For a moment you think about going inside, feeling like you’re invading his privacy in a way, but you have the right to enjoy the morning Sun on your balcony, it’s not your fault he decided to have yoga at the exact same time. And it’s just hard not to look at his shirtless body stretching in all directions, twisting and turning as he goes through the motions, his tattooed body on full display.

It’s been clear since the moment you laid eyes on him for the first time that Harry is probably the most beautiful man you’ve ever met and that includes all your exes. Paired with his kind of mysterious charisma and the way he takes care of his daughter, he is the whole package, but you have been busy with Izzy to dwell too long on how attractive he really is. But right now, you are not working and he is very much shirtless in the backyard, teasing you with thoughts you definitely shouldn’t be thinking about when it comes to your boss.

A shaky breath leaves your mouth as you let yourself watch him just for a few more minutes before heading back inside, not wanting to get busted for being a stalker and also not wanting to see him in more positions and have even more unholy thoughts about him.

But what you don’t know is that just as you step inside, Harry catches your figure disappearing in your room, knowing well you saw him too.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

-

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[wannabe-fic-writer]

WandaNat x Reader : Inhale pt. 2

Summary: She never ceases to surprise you.

Warning: Smoking, Cursing, One Suggestive Joke

Word Count: 1,998

Part 1

* * * * * *

The white paint stares back at you as you lay on your bed. Your view of the ceiling is obscured by the red ball you toss up into the air. It gets slightly smaller as it moves away from you, then larger as it falls back down. 

Your hand catches it and throws it back up into the air, repeating the same process as the tv plays on monotonously from the corner of the room.

Boredom has been washed over you for the past few days. Your girlfriends went on a mission last week. You were able to pass the time during the first week, keeping yourself distracted by hanging around the team, training with Steve, going for a run every time your fingers twitched towards the cigarettes you had hidden in your closet. All of that was failing to work right now.

It seems, though, that you don’t have to suffer through it much longer. F.R.I.D.A.Y chimes up after hours of quiet with an alert that Natasha and Wanda were back and heading to the room. 

You instantly perk up, pushing yourself to a sitting position on the bed and glancing at the door frequently, ready for your girls to walk in. Except they don’t.

The gleeful, happy to be home, response you were expecting is replaced by their clearly upset demeanors. A frown sits on Wanda’s face like you’ve never seen and Natasha’s expression remains neutral. 

They don’t acknowledge you save for a glance in your direction. Both of them go into the closet and quickly change into more comfortable clothes. In an instant afterwards they’re leaving out. And you’re left beyond confused.

With the possible reasons for their behavior and clear attitudes in your head, you don’t take offense to it. You give them some time to cool off, going back to tossing your ball in the air and catching it as you watch tv. 

Around an hour or two later you decide they’re fine now, or at least fine enough to talk to. So you get up, heading first to the kitchen to grab a bottle of cold water and then to the general training room. 

The sound of familiar huffs and the pounding of fists against a leather bag let’s you know your assumption was right. Your redheaded love is off to the fair side of the gym, headphones in her ears as she beats on the punching bag. 

You smirk at the sight of her. Not only do her yoga pants and sports bra look great on her, you always find her focused and slightly aggressive expression kind of hot. She glances at you as you approach and you know she can hear you despite her headphones.

Stopping behind the bag, you lean on it, showing off your smirk to the woman.“ If you really want to work off your frustrations I can think of a good way to do so.” Natasha grunts, rolling her eyes and focusing on punching the bag. 

With a sigh, you move to her side, gently taking her taped up hands and moving in front of her. Forest green eyes look into yours and you give her your best encouraging smile. She knows what your silent question is and sighs.

“The mission went south. We suffered a civilian casualty and others got hurt.” Her expression and tone remain neutral but obviously she’s upset about this. It isn’t her first time dealing with this kind of thing from a mission but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t hate every bit of it. 

“I’m sorry to hear that baby.” You raise your hands to her arms and gently rub them, squeezing a little in between.

Natasha’s heart warms at your soft comforts.“ I’ll be okay. Wan is more torn up than I am. She-” The woman shakes her head,“ she blames herself.” 

You frown, prepared to ask for more details. Then you figure you can ask the girlfriend who’s more deeply affected by it. 

“I’ll go talk to her.” Natasha nods at your words.“ You gonna be okay?” A teasing smile forms on your lips.“ I know you’re my super tough ex-assassin but I’m here if you want to talk.”

Her lips tug up in the corner at your teasing words, but it quickly becomes a sincere smile when you offer your ear. Slowly reaching up, she runs the pad of her thumb along the apple of your cheek.“ I’m okay detka. I’ll let you know if I need to talk. Or your other services.” 

You chuckle softly and nod. Leaning forward, you press a soft, quick kiss to her lips and part, heading off to find your other girlfriend. The not so tough witchy one you love just as much. 

Finding the woman proved to be a little harder than you thought it would be. She wasn’t in any of the places you thought she would be in: the library, the theater, the common room. You wrack your brain for ideas as to where she is and when the last place pops into mind, you can’t believe you hadn’t thought of it first.

It’s a quick jog to the elevator and an even shorter ride up to the top floor. From there you take the stairs up to the roof. 

She’d stolen this spot from you a few months after you started dating. She and Natasha found you up there smoking once and through the year and a half she would find you up here, sometimes sneaking a smoke when you shouldn’t be. 

Her long brown tresses fall down her back freely, the rest of her beauty hidden as she faces away from you. Though you still find her insanely cute that she’s in your hoodie and some stretch pants. 

The long slow straightening of her form clues you in on her deep breath, her body relaxing as she lets it go. You only get a little confused when she pauses and does it again. A thought that you’re unsure of, but the physical cues make you curious. The familiar movement of her arm, the deep breath, the pause. 

“Wan?” You call with an indescribable look on your face. 

Your brunette girlfriend’s shoulders drop and she turns to you. Immediately your eyes focus on the small cylinder in between her fingers, watching as it rises and rests between her lips. 

She takes a quick pull, pauses, let’s a little smoke go, then it all comes out in a straight shot that disperses in the air. It’s such a smooth combination of actions that leaves you wondering if she’d done this before. 

Deciding to hold your comment on that until after she’s completely calm, you take a different route. Approaching her still pacing form, you cross your arms and ask,“ was it that bad?” 

A snort leaves her lips and she takes another drag.“ Worse.” 

“Tell me.” Your hand reaches for her free one and you pull her towards you as you sit on the ledge of the roof. 

Her hand squeezes yours. Your eyes drop from her green ones to her lips as they wrap around the cylinder again, cheeks caving a little, then her lips puckering slightly as she pushes the smoke out. 

“I heard Natasha get hurt,” she starts, fingers once again tightening around yours,“ I looked away for a split second and he got away. We caught him but not until after he shot the tires out on a car. It flipped and crashed into another one.” Her jaw clenches, eyes glossing with tears.“ He hurt a man and his son and- and killed a woman.”

A heavy sigh leaves your lips and you stand, pulling her a little closer to your form. You’d been down this road a number of times. Being on the Avengers team since the beginning almost, you know exactly what it’s like to make a mistake and have others pay for it. It was a deep hole that never ceased to make you hate yourself. But you didn’t want Wanda feeling that way. 

“Hey,” you reach a hand up to cup her cheek, looking into her eyes,“ I know that it hurts. And it’s easy to blame yourself. But it’s not your fault. He made the choices that resulted in that woman losing her life, not you.” 

“But I’m supposed to be the hero. I’m supposed to save people. And I didn’t.” Her accent thickens as she gets choked up, eyes glossing over.

You sigh, taking the cigarette from her hand and putting it out on the ledge, then pull her into your arms. Her head rests on your shoulder and her hands slip up to your shoulder blades.“ You are a hero. A great hero. However, you’re not a perfect one. None of us are. It sucks in situations like this but you can’t save everyone no matter how much we want to. It doesn’t make you a bad person or any less of a hero.”

From the flicker of emotions in her eyes, you can tell it’s still going to take some time for her to cope with this. Still though you see a glimpse of that soft look and you can also see that she believes you to a certain extent.

Raising your hand, you gently push the corner of her lips up. She whines and turns her head away, noncommittally pushing at your side. It makes you laugh and she presses her forehead against your chest.

“Wanna tell me where you got that cigarette from?” You ask. 

She pulls away, producing a pack of cigarettes. Brows furrowing, you flip the top up and count the cigarettes inside. There were four missing.

“Did you smoke four whole cigarettes before I got up here?” An incredulous tone laces your words, disbelief flooding your system. 

Has your habit rubbed off on her? You know she and Nat found it attractive but did that lead Wanda to try it? It’s a terribly unhealthy habit, which is why your girlfriends wanted you to stop, and you certainly didn’t want Wanda getting into it.

“No, I didn’t smoke four. I got these from your boot in the closet,” she tells you.“ Which means you smoked them.”

“I-” you try to think of what to say.“ That was over the course of a few weeks. I haven’t had one in months though.” You know you didn’t need to give her an explanation but you wanted her to know you were still doing well. 

Wanda and Natasha were very well aware of your progression towards quitting. They could even tell the difference in your behavior. Both women were incredibly proud and admittedly you were proud of yourself as well. You had confidence you would be able to completely quit in the fairly near future. 

The younger woman smiles softly at you,“ I know you haven’t. And you don’t have to worry about me starting. It’s actually very nasty and I didn’t feel it did anything for my stress.” 

“Good. I don’t want you forming an addiction and I don’t want to die if Nat found out you’d started by smoking my cigarettes.” 

“She knows now.” 

Nearly jumping a foot in the air, you turn around to see your other girlfriend smirking a little at you. A nervous chuckle leaves your lips and you scratch the back of your neck. 

Rolling her eyes, Natasha steps to the side to stand beside you and Wanda. Her hand slipping into yours, the other held up towards Wanda. 

Wanda sighs and places the pack of cigarettes in Natasha’s hand. The redhead pockets them then takes the younger woman’s hand.“ Neither of you smoke again.” She states plainly. 

Looking at Wanda, you both nod.“ Never again Miss Romanoff.” You and Wanda say simultaneously, bright smiles shown to Natasha.

It’d be harder than that for you but not impossible. Especially not with the support and encouragement of the two women you loved and needed the most.

* * * * * *

Taglist: @owloftheshadows​ @natasha-danvers​ @blackxwidowsxwife​ @yumusak-yastik​ @b-5by5​ @fayhar​ @lostandsearching​ @iliketozoneout​ @ecruzsalaz

[cinnamonest]

How do you make gross incel hentai adict Xiao sound so fucking hot like

Ohmygod

It makes me want to choke on his dick

I am STILL obsessed with this concept so continuing bc I can (//fem darling + some sexism): he also gets really into internet sex trends. Like, I mentioned the choker-snapping thing, but also all the egirl crazes and trends like the virgin killer sweater, the thigh high sock garters with spikes and heart shapes, the cow print bikini thing, maid uniforms, cat keyhole lingerie, schoolgirl uniforms, cosplays, collars, those rubber paddles that leave a shape welted into your skin (which you have to try out, just for fun, even if you didn't do anything). You have at least like 5 pairs of different sets of those animal tail butt plugs and ear hairbands that you're more or less forced to walk around in, complete with a little bell collar. The best part about those is they can be combined with the other outfits :)

Sex trends... Well yes there was the "snap my choker" thing back the past two years that he got super into and still wants to try for real, and in the current date darling would be suffering from that Jack-O challenge... Yeah your body can totally bend that way. Just keep trying, he wants a picture. Also the pencil challenge from a few years back... Also wants to see you try. Finds it cute if you can't, it keeps dropping to the floor, so he gets a video of your desperate attempts. And if you can, gets a picture of the result. Either of which is to jerk off to whenever he has to be away for whatever reason.

And when I say porn addict I don't mean just actively searching for porn, but rather, it's so ingrained in his brain that he's integrated it into every outlet he has, which just perpetuates the addiction in a cyclic sort of way. Open Twitter? Immediately bombarded with porn. Reddit? Porn. Tumblr? Let's be real there's still plenty of porn here too. Most games he plays are those gross dude-oriented ones with anime girls in next to no clothes running around, etc etc. He has no social media or app that he doesn't have some sort of pornographic content that will pop up nearly immediately. It's.... Bad. But on the... bright (?) side, you don't have to worry about him becoming one of those dudes that prefers porn to the real thing... Quite the opposite. At this point it's all just, to your dismay, inspiration material.

See, he has a firm belief that if he has you, he shouldn't have to jerk off ever again. He can cum in you, and should have rights to your body at any time he wants, that's what wom- uh, girlfriends are supposed to be for. He pays for everything since you're not employed (not by your choice, but you know better than to argue that anymore), and takes care of you, buys stuff for you. He does the whole protector and provider role (by sitting at his computer all day to earn money, and occasionally taking out one of your old exes), so you do your part and clean up, make him food (you made the mistake of cooking once and now he refuses to ever go back to ramen), and be an available set of holes at any time that does what he wants. Well, that's not the only requirement -- you're also supposed to have a good attitude about it... The girls in porn are always eager and happy to take dick and get abused. So no pouting or complaining... You're supposed to be sweet about it (spare love bombs ma'am?? Please?) And certainly no disobedience. It's so arrogant and self centered to think you have the right to deny or disobey a good boyfriend that takes such good care of you. Or perhaps just simple minded, like you definitely are, not bright, he says. You just can't think logically, you're not capable of reason, you think emotionally. Yeah... A porn obsession, particularly the kind of porn he likes that tends to see the girls in extremely submissive roles, does not exactly help make his views on your sex any better or more positive, quite the opposite.

Boy is chronically online, anything he sees he wants to try... And now he has real living breathing pussy available! So he can actually do so rather than just dreaming about it, now that he threw out all those crusty socks and cheap pocket pussy.

He sees some Twitter porn of a couple using one of those short distance remote control vibes in a public place... Now you have one. Sure, you're not going outside, but it's still fun to use it from across the room while he's working or gaming and you're all tied up, occasionally turning it up super high only to deny you again and again. It gives him motivation to do his work so he can get back to you sooner. So now he actually gets work done faster than ever.

The hentai addiction/egirl weeb culture degeneracy is worse though. Definitely buys you that one famous bad dragon blue tentacle dildo. You can't put it in your pussy, though... No he's not insecure, it's just, you have perfectly good dick right here for that hole. You can use it to train your throat and ass though! That's why he got it for you. Will definitely shove it into your poor ass and leave you tied down so that you can't move, having to stay like that for ages while he works.

Also, the faces. Hope you're not too quiet or still when you cum... Haven't you seen hentai girls?? You're supposed to like, make that face, stick your tongue out, and squeal a lot. Unfortunately, if you don't match up to porn actresses and hentai girls in terms of how you cum (and let's be real, who does?), he takes that as a sign that you're faking it. That's not good. Not only does it make him grumpy and pouty, but it means you'll cum until he's certain you're not faking it. Again, this creates a very unfortunate cycle of confirmation bias. By the fifth straight orgasm in a row, you're whimpering and sniffling from the overstimulation, begging and crying and wailing and.... Ah, so that's what you're like when you really cum, since he still insists the other times were fake. Which means that again, in the future, nothing less than that full crying and wailing will be believed. Poor darling.

Probably got camgirl darling to send him bathwater and straight up chugs it smh

[sinfulspencer]

Say something.

Prompt: Y/N and Spencer are supposed to go on a date, but what happens when he doesn’t show up?

Warnings: past abuse (sexual harassment, humiliation), self-doubting, insecurities, anxiety, infidelity, heavy angst. Let me know if I have missed anything. :)

Words: 4.7k

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And I’m feeling so small It was over my head, I know nothing at all And I will stumble and fall I’m still learning to love, just starting to crawl

Y/N stares at her phone with a beaming smile, leaning her back against the wall of the restaurant she just arrived at. People are walking past her, talking and laughing with each other while they wait for their table to be set up or to pay for the meal they just had. Even though the restaurant is packed, she can’t wait to slip between there and sit down at a table with him.

She has been waiting for this date for so long and now that she’s there, a bit earlier than she was supposed to because of her nerves, Y/N doesn’t know what to do or what to say. She hasn’t been on many dates before, especially not dates with a man she really likes and that has caught her attention in the blink of an eye at her work, but still. She had to give him a chance because he looked so fucking perfect for her – sure, they were friends before he asked her out but still. Y/N desperately wanted to give him a chance because she had this feeling that their friendship wasn’t enough for her – and it appeared it wasn’t enough for him as well, that’s why he asked her out.

The last time she went on a date, in her last year of College, Y/N ended up calling a cab from the restaurant and sneaking out from the back so the guy wouldn’t notice she was gone. It was horrible and she felt even worse but that guy was just a fucking mess – a misogynistic, slut-shamer, disgusting prick she never wanted to hang out again with. All he talked about was how his ex girlfriend treated him – “she had the audacity to hang out with her friends when I told her she couldn’t”, “she wore that dress because she wanted guys to hit on her at the club” – and Y/N had enough.

It was rough, but luckily she got out of the restaurant without any problem – and she blocked this guy from every social media they had in common, not wanting to even apologize to him. At the end of the day, she paid for their meal and rushed home. She didn’t need that kind of personality around.

But the man she’s going to hang out tonight is completely different. He’s the perfect man, he’s everything she has wished to find in a man. And even though it felt a little too good to be true, she pushed those thoughts out of her mind. She knows Spencer, she has gone out with him many times to have lunch or simply to take a walk around somewhere.

Spencer Reid is a genius, as everybody always says, but he’s also absolutely brilliant and even though sometimes he can be awkward around people, he’s the sweetest human being that Y/N has ever met in her life. He has this pair of big doe eyes that always seem to study her soul, undress it and push all of her walls off with just one stare. And his smile... It could be one of the Seven Wonders of the Modern World with those two cute dimples popping on his cheeks each time she makes him laugh. Y/N feels so blessed in his presence, because apparently fate had brought them together. They had so many horrible memories they both wanted to push in the back of their heads – they agreed they couldn’t forget their past because at the end of the day it shaped them both as people, as they are today – they had something in common: the need of moving on, of meeting other people, of pushing their boundaries, of going beyond their limits to see what’s there to do.

Maybe that’s why Y/N developed this intense crush for him at the exact moment their eyes met after a night out with the team: he had the same determination in his eyes, the same fire burning deep behind them as he spoke about how much his life has changed and how excited he is to finally start this new chapter of his life. Spencer told her all about how he found a therapist to go to, how he developed this morning routine that didn’t consist in having too much coffee in ten minutes with a lot of sugar but involved a morning run – “a little job behind my house” – and a very cold shower to actually wake up from a deep sleep. It wasn’t much, in Spencer’s opinion, but Y/N could see how good he felt when he started doing it and it became a habit.

Y/N loved seeing how happy he was.

And she loved it even more when Spencer told her that she was one of the reasons that pushed him out of his comfort zone, showing him that getting help is not for the weak and it could’ve actually turned him into a better person. And it had, because he told her how good he felt after only one session with his therapist and a whole week of doing something different than reading, reading and reading all alone in his apartment. That same conversation lead to Spencer getting completely out of his comfort zone and asking her out for a lunch – that then turned into a dinner because “night dates are more romantic and I know how romantic you are, Y/N, so I’m going to see you at night” – which made her heart flutter in her chest.

Y/N has never developed such a big crush for someone in so little time. When she started working at the BAU, she knew she was going to meet Doctor Spencer Reid; she knew him probably better than anyone at her old job. She has read every article he has published, every research he has done on human behaviour. She has seen all of his pictures, all of the articles related to him and his arrest back in 2017, the big arrest of Everett Lynch with the whole team... She knew all about him but she wasn’t expecting him to be so perfect. But he was the most amazing guy she has ever met.

And even though they’ve been working together for less than two hours – eleven months, fifteen weeks and two days to be exact – Y/N knows she’s already too invested in him. She hesitated to agree to go out with him on that date because of that reason: she was terrified that if it didn’t go well, it would’ve messed up their professional relationship but that didn’t stop him from convincing her to go out with him because he really wanted it. He didn’t pressure her, of course; he was very respectful and allowed her to take a few days to think about his offer, which then led to Y/N saying yes and Penelope Garcia forcing her to hang out for a shopping spree. Y/N said yes to Spencer because she wanted to find out more about him than his work; she wanted to know more about his personality outside of the BAU, she wanted to know what kind of cocktails he likes to drink before eating a meal; she wanted to know what kind of ties he uses when he has to go out with someone; she wanted to know what kind of men he is when there are no profilers around – well, she is one but.

Y/N glances at her phone: it’s 9:05 pm. She furrowed her eyebrows because he’s late; even though it’s only five minutes, Y/N feels like there’s something wrong. Maybe he’s stuck in traffic, maybe his car broke down along the way or maybe he had to do something that forced him to leave his place a little bit late. She tries her best to hold back the horrible thoughts running in her head as she starts to pace in front of the entrance, making sure she glances at the parking lot to see if his car is parked somewhere and he’s inside.

It wouldn’t be the first time someone waits inside of a car to calm down before stepping out and move on with their night, she has done it so many times. Her anxiety has never left her body for one single day in her life so when she felt overwhelmed by everything, but she had to go out with someone anyway, she would usually park her car in front of the building she has to meet them in and would take deep breaths or done something that helped her out somehow.

Maybe he’s doing the same, maybe he’s nervous.

Spencer has told her many times that he hasn’t been on many dates and the few ones he had were kind of weird and didn’t end up well, so Y/N wouldn’t be surprised if he took some minutes to gather his thoughts and calm down. She’s not going to hold it against him, she completely understands.

So, all she needs to do is wait and see how it goes. She’s sure he’ll be there soon, he was looking forward to their night together. There is no reason for her to think he’s standing up, right? He likes her, he said it himself and she believes him – why would he lie to her? There’s no point in that, especially if he knew she shared the same thoughts as him.

But now it’s 9:15 pm.

Spencer Reid is fifteen minutes late and he hasn’t called her or texted her yet. Y/N wants to dial his number but she doesn’t want to bother him, because what if he’s driving? What if he answers and something happens to him? Y/N shakes those thoughts out of her head, quickly dialling Penelope’s number as she paces back and forth again on the sidewalk. Maybe Penelope knows where he is, maybe he called her before he called Y/N. It could be, right?

It’s only fifteen minutes, though.

Y/N stops herself from calling Penelope, there’s no point in asking her. How in the world she might know where Spencer is? It’s not like Penelope is keeping tabs on where each member of the BAU is at her home, so why would she know where he is right now? And something tells Y/N that if she calls Penelope and tells her Spencer is not with her yet, she would get really mad at him for making Y/N wait.

So, the young woman waits.

It’s autumn in Quantico, so the weather is not exactly the best right now. Y/N is wearing a dress that barely covers her knee so her legs are completely out – and the cold air of the night is starting to make her really uncomfortable, but what if she walks inside the restaurant and he doesn’t see her out? What if he thinks she has stood him up and he goes home, upset?

Y/N decides to walk, to move so she doesn’t feel as cold.

The window blows, ruffling her hair. She chose the wrong day to wear a dress, she shouldn’t have followed Penelope’s advice and wore her usual trousers with a nice blouse and a pair of heels. Instead, she’s freezing out to death because that stupid new dress is purple, Spencer’s favourite “right now” colour.

Did she really buy that dress because Spencer said it’d fit her? Yes, she did. She just wanted to be pretty for him, she wants to hear him call her “pretty”. Y/N has never asked for any male validation but right now she needs it, because she wants to be perfect for Spencer the way he is perfect for him. Or maybe it’s all because she never felt perfect for anyone, never felt enough for anyone which led to her being single pretty much ever since High School.

Ah, her second ex boyfriend really did a number on her. She has a list of things he has done to her and caused so much damage to her personality, in her way of thinking about herself, in her sex life. From standing her up for their dates to forcing her to change clothes, from throwing the food she cooked him on her head to kick her out of his house when his friends would come over to get high, from yelling at her she’s a slut for wearing a set of lingerie for him to pulling her hair when she wouldn’t want to look at him in the eyes, from begging and pressuring her to have sex with him to not talking to her for days when she would do something he didn’t approve of.

He was manipulative, sexist, disgusting, harsh, aggressive, violent and a fucking narcissist. At the end of her last year of High School Y/N took control of her own life and decided to humiliate him in front of the wholes school – not giving a single fuck if she overshared and exaggerated. She yelled at him that he’s a piece of shit, he doesn’t deserve her in any way, he needs to be alone because he fucks people up both mentally and physically, she’s too good for him and he’s not even good at sex because he comes too fast and has never made her come. Even though she might have sounded a bit harsh, he deserved everything.

He has made her feel like shit, as if she didn’t deserve love from anyone because of the way she is, as if she’s not worth it of anything and anyone because she’s stubborn – when in reality she wasn’t stubborn at all, she just didn’t want to be treated like nothing. All of his words, all of his actions towards her changed her perspective on life for a couple of years; she thought she didn’t deserve any type of love, she thought she could only be used for one thing – sex – and nothing else because no one would ever like her for her mind, her thoughts, her personality which fucked up her possibilities of meeting someone in the first years of College. It was hard to come to the realisation she couldn’t go on like this, but she made it and she found a way to move on from her past. Y/N had to go to therapy for so long to get rid of all the scars he has left on her mind and her body, but she managed to get better and finally understand he didn’t mean anything to her. He was just a big bump in her road, a bump that should have ruined her the way it did. In the end, those scars made her the woman she is today – and she couldn’t be prouder of herself. She has her dream job, her dream apartment, her dream man, and her dream team – with the best people she could’ve ever met.

It’s 9:35 pm.

Y/N feels a tug on her heart as she glances at her phone, not finding any text or call from him. Why hasn’t he told her he would be late? Why is he so late when he told her he couldn’t wait to see her and spend the night with her? Why did he lie?

She knows she’s not perfect – she has never claimed to be, she has so many different flaws – but she has never felt this way for anyone before in her life, not even her first boyfriend. She was really excited to go out with Spencer, she couldn’t do anything for the whole day because she kept thinking about what kind of thing she’d have to wear for him and what kind of makeup would’ve fit her face better for their first date, what kind of heels she’d have to wear to match his height. She second-guessed everything she has picked out for the night, needing everything to be perfect just for Spencer Reid.

But where is he?

Y/N types his number on the screen, bringing the phone to her ear. No answer.

“Hey Spencie, it’s me. I’m waiting for you outside. Are you okay? Give me a call, please.”

Maybe he forgot his phone at home and he’s driving, or maybe he has simply gone to another restaurant instead of that one. What if he thinks she has stood him up? Y/N quickly checks his text, wanting to be sure she’s in the exact place he has chosen for their night and yes, she’s exactly where she is supposed to be. But why isn’t he there? Did something happen at work? Do they have a new case she doesn’t know about because Emily forgot to call her or something? Did Spencer get hurt and couldn’t call her because he’s at the Hospital? Y/N tries to think of the worst scenarios instead of the one possibility: he has stood her up, maybe because he realises he doesn’t like her the way she does. But why hasn’t he called her back? He could’ve simply told her that he’s not really interested in dating anyone right now.

Her thoughts turn dark instantly.

Of course he has stood her up, why in the world would he like her? How can a man like him possibly be interested in someone as insignificant and stupid as her? How can Spencer Reid feel something for a newbie, an idiot like her? She’s no one, she’s just a newbie, she doesn’t mean anything.

A single tear escapes her eyes as she sniffles, quickly dialling her favourite pizzeria. One of the first pieces of advice Penelope gave her when Y/N started working at the BAU was: “if a man stands you up and you were supposed to have dinner with them, order yourself something you love so when you go home, there’s something delicious waiting for you!” – and it’s not bad advice, which is why Y/N orders herself a delicious pizza margherita and a piece of chocolate cake.

Spencer Reid stood her up.

She was waiting for him in the cold and he didn’t show up.

“Miss?”

Y/N turns around, brushing the back of her hand on her cheek; she can’t let anybody see she was crying while calling the pizza guy over a  person that fucking stood her up for their first date. She notices one of the waitresses staring at her from the entrance of the restaurant, waving her hand at her.

“Yes?”

“I saw you waiting here for the past forty five minutes, I wanted to know if you needed anything. – says the waitress, nothing but sweetness in her voice – It’s kind of cold here, do you want to come inside?”

Y/N shakes her head, feeling warmer because of the gentle gesture. “No, thank you. I’m okay, I’m just going to go now. Thank you for asking, I really appreciate it.”

The young waitress gives her a little nod before going back inside. Y/N feels bad for rejecting her offer. Her pizza is going to be there in at least an hour – Saturday night is always busy for that pizzeria, she’s not really surprised it’s going to take so long for her dinner – so she has some time to kill before going home and enjoying her dinner all alone without Spencer.

Dammit, Spencer Reid, what the fuck?

Y/N decides to step inside of the restaurant, heading to the bar where the same waitress is putting down her trails over the counter. When she turns around and notices that Y/N is right there, looking around and probably waiting, she approaches her.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t... I swear, I wasn’t outside waiting to kill someone. – says Y/N, her words slipping out of her mouth quickly – I got stood up, I was waiting for him outside.”

The waitress gives her a reassuring smile. “I understand, I’m very sorry he stood you up. Do you want something to drink?”

The other girl nods, sitting on one of the high chairs at the bar. “Something not alcoholic, I have to drive back home and I can’t if I’m drunk.”

Y/N pulls out her phone again, checking if she has any message or call from Spencer but her phone is completely empty besides the last text he sent her: “Can’t wait to see you, Y/N.”

He was so excited to see her to the point where he stood her up because he couldn’t contain his fucking excitement for their date, right? He stood her up because other scars can make her stronger, right? He didn’t show up to their date because he has this concept of “hurting and mending” in his mind?

No, Spencer is not like her ex boyfriend.

But what if he is?

Her ex showered her with love via texts and then he would stand her up for their dates, showering her with love again the day after – acting as if nothing happened, as if he didn’t break her heart just the night before. What if Spencer is doing this again? What if she just found herself in the same exact position as she was back in High School?

No, Spencer is not like that guy.

Y/N lets out a sigh, staring at her phone before calling Penelope. She was supposed to call her best friend at the end of their date but this is already the end – well, the date hasn’t even started so it’s not like Spencer is going to get mad at her for using her phone. Right?

“Why in the world are you using your phone on a date?!”

Y/N takes a sip of her fruity drink. “What date?”

Penelope gasps on the other side of the phone. “Please, tell me you didn’t forget you had to go out with your Lover Boy tonight! Oh my God, Y/N! He has been waiting for this for so long!”

Y/N wants to laugh and cry at the same time because Penelope sounds more excited about that date than Spencer – well, he didn’t show up at all so of course he wasn’t as excited and thrilled as he said about their date tonight.

“I would call this a date if Spencer is here in front of me but he isn’t. – says Y/N, her eyes fixed on the wooden counter of the bar – I’m sorry I called you, I just feel so fucking pathetic now. I even wore the dress he liked, I wanted to be pretty for him.”

Her voice breaks after her last words, she was so excited to be with him. She felt like a princess when she showed up at the restaurant, waiting for her prince, but right now all she feels is “fucking stupid” for believing anyone could be slightly interested in her. For believing Spencer Reid would be interested.

“Darling, no. I’m so sorry, don’t cry. – says Penelope, her voice filled with worry – You are pretty every single day, he just didn’t see it tonight. Are you at home right now?”

Y/N takes another sip of her drink. “I’m still at the restaurant but I’m going to head home in a couple of minutes, I don’t even know what to do right now. I called him but he hasn’t answered.”

“Oh believe me, he’s going to answer me or I’ll show up to his place and beat his cute little boney ass I promised to never hurt. – exclaims Penelope, forcing a smile on Y/N’s lips – I’m very sorry he did this to you, Y/N. You don’t deserve this.”

Ah, if only it was that easy to understand.

“It’s not your fault you got stood up, Y/N, and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. I promise you, there isn’t. You are an amazing woman and an amazing friend, anybody would be lucky to be with someone like you. – mutters her friend, as Y/N shakes her head and drinks her juice – You are fabulous, okay? Please, always remember that.”

Lying has never felt so easy for her.

“Thank you, Pen.”

“Don’t feel insulted or unworthy of love because his behaviour is a reflection on him, not you. – says again her friend, making sure Y/N understands what she’s saying – Don’t let this ruin your whole week, my love. Forgive and move on, there are better guys out there anyway.”

But what if Spencer is the guy she wants? It’s not going to be easy to let this go, forget it has happened and move on – but she has to do it, her job can’t risk anything. She’s never going to make this difficult for herself at work because she doesn’t want to lose her dream job, but she’s definitely going to hold back from talking to him outside of the BAU.

After hanging up the call with Penelope, Y/N pays for her drink and leaves the restaurant to go back home and enjoy her pizza. The music in her car is helping her relax, forcing her to not do anything stupid like showing up at his place unannounced and making a scene. As much as she loves dramatic gestures, she can’t really drive to his apartment and yell at him from the parking lot – mainly because something in her gut is telling her she’d end up seeing something she doesn’t want to see. And now that she thinks about it, Spencer has been talking a lot about a girl he met at the park while jogging in the morning – Y/N doesn’t know her name and she doesn’t even want to know it for all she cares. Could he be with her even though he was supposed to go out with Y/N? Spencer told her it was a date – “a romantic date, a date with a man and a woman interested in each other who want to be partners and lovers” he said – so Y/N didn’t confuse that date with a “friendly date night” or something.

Y/N simply wonders what kind of excuse he’s going to give her once she confronts him.

She will confront him! How can she not? After all she has been through, after waiting for forty-five minutes in the cold for him, it’s the bare minimum. She’s not going to budge until he gives her a decent answer – and after that, she’ll never speak to him ever again if it’s not anything work-related.

But what if he had a panic attack? What if he didn’t feel good?

No, her gut is telling her something else. And if there’s something she has learned the hard way, is to always trust her gut because unfortunately it’s always right. When she first started to go out with her ex boyfriend, she could feel there was something wrong with him but she brushed those thoughts out of her mind and she ended up being hurt. A lot. And now her gut is telling her to leave Spencer Reid before it’s too late.

So, as hard as it may be, she has to do it.

Once she’s back in her apartment and her pizza is waiting for her on the glass table now filled with beer bottles in front of her TV, Y/N strips off from all of her clothes and sits down on the floor. Her phone is long forgotten in her little purse, her mind focused on her pizza, the chocolate cake inside the little cartoon box, and those four delicious beers excitedly waiting for her. Even though she’s feeling small, like the most insignificant thing in the whole world, she tries not to show it even though the tears are streaming down her face as she pretends everything is okay.

Nothing is okay, though; nothing is okay right now because she should’ve been with him right now, maybe choosing which dessert to get and to share with him. Instead she’s all alone in her apartment, completely naked in front of the TV while eating a pizza that could’ve been shared with Spencer Reid if only he didn’t stand her up. But he did.

Y/N pushes those thoughts out of her head, wanting to feel good for a couple of hours.

All she cares about right now is forgetting what happened for a while and enjoying something good to eat.

And if she spends the whole night crying herself to sleep, well... No one needs to know.

 Tag list: @s1utformgg, @getyoutmoon @bookishspencer, @allexthakatt, @calm-and-doctor, @reidswhoree @nazifa94 @srhxpci​ @eevee0722​

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Also, another big thank you to my lovely @pinkcoatz for always editing my stuff. I love you so much!

Rora x