#for my own mental health i'm not reading those blog posts right now

[biracy]

Tbh I should probably take a break. I almost definitely won't but I should, yknow

[21angryfrogs]

Inscryption Act 2 Dashboard Simulator

🔍 gadgetinspector Follow

i think we should all start unionizing actually.

🚬 shrimps.is.cards Follow

yer just mad cause ya didnt git a raise this month n i did.

#as the boss'd say: L + ratio

15 notes

☁️ dyke-mage Follow

just found out that rebecha is 26??? she should be at the club...

🔧 trans.on.a.mission Follow

"the club" is a state of mind i'm in when clobbering whoever keeps breaking my bridge. woof.

#im serious #when i find you its on sight

1,905 notes

🦦 iceekaycee Follow

for those not caught up on the old man yaoi lore...

#that makes 3 this month... #what is wrong with them

21,039 notes

🗝 wizstim Follow

⚠️ PSA!!!! ⚠️ guys you really need to stop telling people to k/ll themselves!! you never know what people are going through, and it can be really bad for people's mental health!!! 🍯 gooart Follow

^^^ SOME OF YOU SHOULD READ THIS OVER A FEW TIMES!

☁️ dyke-mage Follow

kys beam. get them, boys.

🕯the.melter.official Follow

kill yourself.

🚬 shrimps.is.cards Follow

kill yerself.

🎣 fishfearme Follow

krill self. now.

7,192 notes

🕯the.melter.official Follow

currently living in a peaceful state of tumblr fame where i'm popular enough to have to add "official" to the end of my blog name but not popular enough to have an evil shadow clone of myself.

🌋 the.melted.official Follow

HELP ME SOMEONE PLEASE DEAR FUCKING GOD LET ME OUT OF HERE

🕯the.melter.official Follow

... haha... did anyone else hear that....?

2,071 notes

🕸 wellitsgolly-deactivated277457

🔍 gadgetinspector Follow

how did she say that

92,644 notes

🦦 iceekaycee Follow

🍯 gooart Follow

does anyone else find it kind of troubling how many people are voting and campaigning against THEIR OWN EMPLOYERS?? i mean sure, sometimes they can be cruel, but we still owe a lot to them!!

☁️ dyke-mage Follow

grimora sweep.

🕯the.melter.official Follow

grimora sweep.

🪄 magikificus Follow

grimora sweep.

🔍 gadgetinspector Follow

grimora sweeHey Who Was That?

🦦 iceekaycee Follow

SCRYBES FOUND THE POST, EVERYONE SCATTER

#I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE THEY WERE ON THIS SITE??? #WHOOPS

276,651 notes

💾 po.tothethird Follow

for april fools i'm deleting this entire game. sayonara you insubordinate shits.

1,263,333 notes

[halfmoth-halfman]

Leaving this blog.

With my mini-series finishing up soon, I've decided to leave this blog as well as my AO3 account once it’s finished. This is not a decision I've made lightly, but circumstances have left this a place where I no longer feel safe.

As of now, I won't be deactivating this blog and will be leaving my fics up for anyone who'd still like to read them. I can't say this decision won't change later, but right now I feel that I've put too much work into this blog to simple delete it.

Below the cut is an explanation of why I'm making this decision, and what has been happening on this blog since the end of last year. It's not required to read or anything to understand the gist of this post; it's simply for my own peace of mind knowing that I spoke up about it. There will be topics that are possibly triggering such as harassment, threats, and racism so please mind the warnings and tags.

The mini-series is queued to finish next week, but there will be no more fic polls or wip wednesdays. I'll still be on here to make sure the queue does its job, and maybe post some stuff from my old drafts as a last bit of fun.

I'll have dms tentatively open for the next two-ish weeks for those who'd like to follow my new account, however I will not be answering anything from empty blogs. After that, asks and dms will be turned off, and I won't be coming back to this blog very often, if at all.

I cannot say thank you enough to the wonderful readers I've had and the amazing people I've met. I don't think I would've ever continued writing without your support and friendship. There's nothing I can do to show my appreciation for all of you.

Maybe we'll see each other again. If not, I hope your inspiration is always flowing, and 2024 treats you kindly.

Mothie 💜

Again, TW: rape/death threats, violent racism, repeated harassment, and mental health.

Back in November, I started getting rude, mean-spirited anons. It wasn't anything I was too bothered with because it didn't happen often and, honestly, my inbox gets flooded for a week or so anytime I post about certain topics. I blocked, deleted, reported and moved on thinking whoever it was would get bored and leave.

However, what started as a few rude anons calling me a bitch or stupid turned into a lot of anons being vile and racist which only worsened over the next few months.

I spoke about it in this post (link) near the end of November. In that post, I mentioned that those were the nicer asks and that was not an exaggeration. I have gotten my fair share of shitty anons as seen here (link) when I had to take a break from my blog because of said anons, but I have never gotten the amount of vitriol that I saw in these asks.

When I turned anon off, I started getting even worse messages from empty blogs that would either be blocked or deactivate within a week. When I turned my askbox off, I started getting hateful DMs. When I turned DMs off, it jumped from Tumblr to my other social medias which I had to private, completely avoid, or outright delete.

I got messages attacking my writing, calling me slurs, threatening to find me and rape or kill me, sending me explicit porn and rape videos while insulting my sexuality, and going into gross detail about how much people I interacted with hated me or how I would never be as good as them. I tried to power through it, pretending everything was fine while I pulled away from this blog, from writing, from friends that I loved and talked to every day. Everything about this blog, the fandoms I enjoyed, the people I talked to, made me so anxious because of these constant messages.

I took several breaks while dealing with this in therapy, repeatedly trying to come back and get comfortable on this blog, but within a few days of coming back the messages would start up again, either here or on any of my social medias I tried to unprivate, and I couldn't deal with it.

Only in the last week or two has it started to slow down and stop on a few of my other socials, which is the only reason I even feel comfortable making this post. However, in regards to this blog and my feelings toward it, the damage is done.

I don't think I can ever truly convey how isolating this has been. So many of these messages were about how I've spoken about my struggles as a black woman in fandom, how much of a burden it puts on the people who interact with me, how inferior I am to them and that I am everything that's wrong with fandom.

I felt scared and anxious to talk to anyone about this, especially people mentioned in those messages, out of fear that this harassment would jump to them. There are friendships that I stepped away from that I will never get back because of that. There are friends that I've felt like I was betraying by never telling them about what was happening because I felt too ashamed about letting this get to me.

I constantly worried that making a post like this would feel like, "Oh, Mothie's whining and trauma-dumping into the void about fandom racism again", that those messages would be right and it would force people to feel like they had to support me. Or worse, that people would agree and it would only make things worse. I've wrestled with so much guilt trying to decide to make this post and figure out what to do to make me trust myself again.

Ultimately, I don't think I was wrong for talking about my issues in fandom, and I don't think anything I've said has warranted this kind of harassment. I don’t know the who’s or why’s behind of this, but I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never really know. Truthfully, I'm not sure it even matters at this point. In the end, I think moving on from this blog entirely would be the best thing for me right now.

But, man, does it fucking suck.

This was the blog where I felt comfortable enough to start writing again, to start posting my fics. It's the blog where I met so many friends, got the courage to join new communities, found new hobbies, new music, new things to enjoy in life. It feels silly to say about a blog, but this was a place where I felt like I was able to carve out a space for myself. I put so much work into making it my own, and now the only thing I feel about it is anxious.

Hate messages and threats and racism have always been a part of fandom, and the internet as a whole. I’ve known since I started participating in fandom spaces that it was going to and continue to happen. I've known that I had to have a tough skin, especially if I ever spoke up about problems I faced because no one was going to have my back if I didn't have my own. I thought I had learned how to deal with it, and how to make a safe space for myself. But this goes beyond that. I did not deserve this. No one deserves this.

In some ways, it feels like admitting defeat, like I'm weak or hypocritical for not being as strong as I pretended I was and leaving. In other ways, it feels freeing to start over, and I'm choosing to view look at this optimistically even if it bittersweet. I don't want to let this scare me away from writing or from speaking about things that are important to me. All I can do now is say I'm so incredibly sorry to those I've hurt by stepping away or keeping this secret, and make sure I'm able to at least leave this blog on as happy a note as I can have.

[sokkastyles]

Whenever I see anti-zutara posts, I honestly feel anxious and because I have intrusive thoughts it worsens my anxiety, so I get worried if they're right. Sometimes I feel like deleting my blog and now that I have gotten messages telling me to off myself I want to lie low but also it is not really stopping me from posting just more stressed to do so. So how do you handle these antis and people who send you hate messages without feeling anxious?

If it really bothers you to see those kinds of posts, I would recommend filtering the relevant tags. I try to tag any posts with negativity that I reblog as "the discourse" so you can block that tag if those posts stress you out to see.

I'm sorry people are sending you those messages. Just know that even if they are "right," nothing justifies sending you harassing messages, so you automatically have the high ground here. Nobody who acts that way towards you over fictional characters has a right to tell you about your own morals.

There's actually not really anything anyone can say about zutara that would make it wrong to ship them, but even if there was, you don't have to answer to anyone else about why you ship something. I actually have a lot of ships in other fandoms that would be considered much worse, but I literally do not care what other people think about what I ship, or how I engage in fiction. It's not for them to decide things about me based on what I ship. But as ships go, zutara is actually very tame in the world of "problematic" ships. And I'm old enough that I've seen many of the same arguments used against ships that are much darker on the spectrum, so when people use the same arguments to discredit zutara it just kind of makes me laugh.

What I recommend you to do to combat these things, for your own mental health, is to try not to get involved in arguments. Block the relevant tags and users if you have to. And read widely. Expose yourself to a lot of different media and you'll see that 1) the world is much bigger than antis think it is, and 2) that negative people will apply the same arguments over and over again. That doesn't mean you have to listen to them.

[sophieinwonderland]

Someone Having A Disorder Doesn't Make Them Qualified to Educate About That Disorder

Let me be clear: I believe that any person with a disability or mental condition has the ability and right to speak about that condition, and that their own personal experiences should be trusted and believed.

When this becomes dicey is when these individuals think simply having a condition makes them an expert in it, and that they are an absolute authority in all of its presentations.

This came up recently when debating a singlet who made a post stating endogenic plurality wasn't real. Their attempts at "debunking" studies into endogenic systems showed desperation to prove their point, ignoring the opinions of actual psychologists and psychiatrists. Most of their post was misinformation based on a single Carrd. The sources they cited never even claimed what they said they did.

That blog talks about a lot of disorders and I said in my response to them that I don't think other people should put their trust in them on matters of other disabilities they talk about like autism.

The problem with this user and others like them is that they want to be seen as an expert and are presenting themselves as such. And I'm sure they do know more about autism than plurality, having it themselves. But I'm also sure that they're going to make broad assumptions based on their own experiences and try to apply that to everyone with ASD when you can't do that, and they'll present those assumptions as facts.

I am not saying to not trust them as a member of an endogenic systems.

I am saying to not trust them as a member of a system diagnosed with ASD ourselves. I do not believe people like this are trustworthy sources of information for my disorder, nor any other disorder.

All of this was before their reply, which only solidified my earlier opinions, and then some.

This is one of those posts that is just so bad that I need to break it down piece by piece.

It's not unethical to be part of a demographic you're studying. People with ASD can study ASD. DID systems can study people with DID. Muslims can study Muslims. Native Americans can study Native Americans. And Tulpamancers can study tulpamancers. Being a tulpamancer does not invalidate the study in and of itself.

This was why I gave the Varieties of Tulpa Experiences study that they ignored. It is true that the study they're referring to, Tulpas and Mental Health, was written by a tulpamancer. This was the source they initially tried to "debunk." Furthermore, what they didn't mention is that the journal it was published in is less reputable than others, and the author was a student rather than an actual expert. This is why I don't often cite that one as an example of evidence of endogenic plurality.

In contrast, Varieties of Tulpa Experiences was written by a psychiatry professor at McGill University and was published by the highly esteemed Oxford University Press. There is zero question as to the Journal's credibility or the experience of the author.

Transabled people identify as having disabilities. No, tulpamancers and other non-disordered plurals are not, by definition, transabled. We are multiple, but we do not have DID or OSDD.

And for the record, I actually have studied plurality. I'm not formally educated in psychology or psychiatry and would never pretend to be an expert in such, but I'm confident I've read more papers about different presentations of plurality than this singlet who only cites Carrds and blogs as sources.

I also know the difference between neuroscience and psychology... And maybe this is a petty point, but the fact that all their posts claim to be about neuroscience while focusing mostly on psychology and psychiatry is another huge red flag that they probably don't know as much as they pretend to.

Now, to the big one...

If you're trying to be a leader on mental health topics, don't be so blatantly ableist!

If you place the worth of a person on how "intelligent" or "competent" they are, perhaps you shouldn't be in communities for people with mental illnesses and disabilities at all.

These are extremely harmful and gross comments.

What you (readers) should take away from this: Take all advice on Tumblr with a grain of salt.

Yes, even on this blog. Be skeptical. Ask questions. Think critically. Double check people's claims when you can.

Don't blindly assume that just because someone has a disorder, like Autism, that they must be an expert in that disorder and that they'll be able to answer all your questions. Trust their own experiences. But have a healthy doubt of any broader claims they can't source.

[novankenn]

Update ... My Life & My Projects

So as some have noticed I started yet another "side blog" this one just for a Visual Novel Project I am diving headfirst into. Not much on it right now, but hopeful soon it will be more active.

"Streets of Vale" - I spaced out and dropped the ball on this blog. Now I'm not deleting it, but I'm going to try and revamp/reset the story it is supposed to focus on.

In RL - I'm just recovering from a three months stint doing Income Taxes Professionally (Canadian). So now I've decided since I'm getting on in years... it's time I did something for myself. So I'm in the process of setting up my own Bookkeeping Firm/Business. - Wish me Luck.

Main Blog - I know I have a ton of unfinished content, and TBH I have no idea when I'll be getting back to continuing or re-writing some of it. I know as I am working on my VN project I have also felt the urge to work on "Unnatural V3".

FF.Net / AO3 - After a MUCH TOO LONG hiatus I've started digging back into "Secrets Vol 2" after that is complete I'm going to revisit my story "Monster". If any of you follow those accounts... stay tuned updates are on the way.

Patreon - I am toying with publishing one to help assist with a ny cost associated with doing VNs. Plus any other original projects I dream up.

So I think that is it that is going on in my head and in my life.

Acknowledgements & Thanks : Thank you to everyone who is reading - liking - reblogging my content/posts. I'm glad you are enjoying what I create and I hope I can continue to give you similar if not better content in the near future.

TBH - It does wonders for my Mental Health to see people reacting to what I post. This is not a guilt trip, just me being honest. Because when I am feeling overwhelmed or really low seeing likes-comments-reblogs makes me feel good. That I am succeeding.

So Thank you again.

[cheerfullycatholic]

Hello--I have sent asks to other Catholics and am a little scared that I will confuse details between them because I am upset and afraid right now, but will you please pray for me?

I have been failing miserably at following any of the plans I set out for Lent, and on Ash Wednesday, our priest told us that Lent is a contract with God, meaning that if we don't follow through or aren't really committed then it isn't God who comes to collect and give you blessing, but it is the Devil who swoops into fulfill his job as Satan.

I'm sorry for sending this on anonymous--this plan is posted very publicly on my side blog, but it wouldn't let me ask under that name and I don't want people connecting the two. Anyway, I would talk to my current and local priest about this, but I have previously been involved in a controversy with members of the Diocese because of some things I believed, and I don't want to drag those still active members into more drama, nor do I want to end hurting new people who are only trying to serve my community as best they can.

I'm scared of judgement, drama, and unintended consequences. I only want to do the right thing. I'm scared, upset, feeling very alone and worried that God is not happy with me because I am failing so hard at these things I agreed to. I've been getting positive signs, but I am afraid that I am only reading into it what will comfort me and not taking srsly the consequences or the intentions of my actions. I know my current priest believes very heavily in spiritual warfare and I am afraid he will try to exorcise me or that I will end up being condemned.

{{{{{Lenten Plans from the Universe/The Messiah/The Golden Timeline (02/13/24)

Okay so basically, here is the plan--handed down through divine intuition or signs or whatever gave me the information--I trust the information source--so here's my spiritual cleanse for the 40 days:

3 days of (as close as possible) no sleep--72 straight hours--then 2 days of regular sleep schedule for the next 40 days

40 days of no more than 1200 calories every day

40 days no spend (outside of food and bills)

40 days (at least) of no medication (exception--Excedrin Migraine but only in extreme situations...)

Increased prayer/communing/sign reading

***I want to be clear that this is something that I am doing for my own spiritual cleanse and enlightenment and enrichment and etc; I'm not advertising this as a responsible or safe or anything--this isn't a recommendation--you're welcome to join me in an attempt but consult with your own support system including mental health team.***}}}}}

I am in contact with my mental health team, including my therapist and they are aware of what I am doing, and they are trying to support me, but they aren't Catholic, and they don't know the anxieties that come with the rituals and traditions of the Church. I am very scared, and I hope you are having a beautiful Lent. God bless you; I know if you find my side blog that it has a lot of very controversial statements about the Church and my beliefs--but I'm trying my best to make sense of what is happening, and I do not want to be insulting. I'm scared about that too--that all the Catholic blogs I admire will find that place where I explore spirituality and think I am being flippant or cruel or sacrilegious when I don't mean it that way at all. I am confused, scared, and very, very much trying to do what is right. God bless you and thank you for reading this--I understand if you do not post this, but I would still appreciate prayers--I know you are kind enough to pray for me even if I am a blasphemer. I will keep you in my prayers as well.

Of course I'll pray, but I also need to say something

Lent isn't a contract, it's a time of prayer and fasting in preparation for the Resurrection. God isn't looking down on us with a giant microscope to see who stumbles with their Lenten promises to add to His list of naughty kids, that's not how it works and your priest is wrong. It's human to mess up sometimes, especially with promises as extreme as yours. Thankfully, God is merciful enough to not condemn us for it. Now, I do believe the devil can use moments when we stumble for his own gain, but we can stop him by not feeling discouraged and continuing on as best as we can. Media has made the devil out to be this scary, unmovable force, but he's not. He's a weenie

I really like this quote from an article I once read on Grotto Network

If you have fallen away from your Lenten practice, there’s no scorebook where you’ll be penalized. It might be a good time to re-evaluate what you are committing to and why, and to listen for ways the Lord might be leading you in a new direction. In Lent, we remember Jesus who himself fell three times en route to Calvary. And three times he got back up and continued on. In Lent, as in all seasons, Jesus is our companion and guide. No matter how perfectly we’ve executed our Lenten disciplines so far, it’s never too late to continue to walk with Him toward Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

[eliounora]

Good grief, I don't know how someone could have read your last post and responded with the amount of dismissiveness that last reply did. Apart from the whole thing smacking of Calvinist bull****... that's just not how humans work. We're not meant to function in total isolation, and I've never met a creatively-inclined person who *didn't* hope to see their work connect with people. Part of the joy of making things is sharing them with other people, and even if nobody owes you their time or attention or validation, it *is* disheartening to feel like the things you share in hopes of people connecting with them aren't acknowledged for whatever reason. Please do whatever you need to for your own mental health, but I hope you won't delete your blog here; I'm someone who's generally too shy to interact, but I've adored your art for years, and was beyond thrilled when you opened your quick comms a little while back (I now have an Eliounora original and it makes me so happy every time I look at it <3). Your latest Thranduil piece is gorgeous (and immediately became my favorite visual interpretation of the character I've seen so far) - I saw the Bilibin references in the frame right away and was delighted to see someone marrying it to Middle Earth! It gives the whole thing a perfect old fairytale feel. I hope it helps a little to know that your work has at least one quiet but sincere admirer here.

CALVINIST BULL is the perfect way to describe that mindset hahaha! you're so right, like even when you draw or write or create anything as a kid you often run to a caretaker or a sibling or whoever to show your work! and even when I was a kid, if my scribble did not get the reaction from my mom I was hoping for, I'd be super sad, and I think that speaks to our need to have our work appreciated!

of course you should primarily create for yourself, like writing, knitting, drawing, painting, singing, playing an instrument, all that should be first and foremost fun for you, but I think it's also important to remember that it takes guts to share your work, and when you put yourself out there like that and don't get the reaction you hoped for, of course that feels disheartening. we are bound to believe that the more work we put into something, the more recognition we get!

I know many other people feel like this too (I mean look at artists on this website begging for reblogs), and I think it speaks for the content creator.....isation? of artists and the change in fandom culture which has resulted in lack of community. while disappointment is bound to happen from time to time, like maybe your fic did not get as many comments as you wished for or your art got less notes than you expected, for me it feels like disappoinment is the norm.

I really hope this does not come across as whining about how I don't get the recognition I think I deserve (although that's what it is I'm not going to lie), because I do appreciate every shy and quiet person out there who loves my art, like you💗 and of course nobody has to interact any more than they are willing, but I think the general trend that interaction with people's works is lessening will dishearten many artists, especially those who don't have a large following. and oftentimes even a few excited words about your work will take you a long way! like yours right now, I FEEL SO SEEN!!! my thranduil, your favourite? FUCK YEAH!!!

[torialefay]

Hi, Torie? Or may I call you Fairy because you did swoop into my life like an angel, hehe.

Please call me Ree if you wish, but as my username? ID? nick? (sorry I'm very new to this platform) suggests I am indeed a balding brown lady and I turned 29 this Jan.

I've been lurkin' around tumblr for about 3 days now, and consuming whole astrology posts, predictions, analyses, ff, etc on Bang Chan (the Majestic) because, well, I'm delulu. Before anything else, I'd like to plainly state I LOVE the way you arrange your synopses. They're beautifully detailed, categorized, summarized as well as described under each of his placements and houses, and to an astrology enthusiast but noob like me, it helps SO much. I'd also like to thank you, simply for the effort you put in for making amazing, relatable content like this. You're a Fay indeed!

And so, I seek to feed my delusions further by requesting a compatibility analysis with none other than the operator of these delusions, Mr. Bahng of SKZ himself.

I'll be attaching herein as much information as I can provide, I hope this helps.

I'd also like to add that I don't want to rush you, like at all. I can feed myself with the other contents of your blog in the meanwhile, so please take up this request as you please, when you please.

And oh! Thank you for creating this space for people like me who are proclaimed "too old" to be crushing on idols and celebs. I think you're about 4 years younger than me, but the openness and acceptance of astro-Stays always amazes and enchants me. Thank you for being the way you are!! <3

Anyways, I'm sorry about the huge rambling, I went for longer than intended, hehe. And I wish you happiness, health, love, abundance and prosperity. May you flourish, Fay!

And thank you, once again!

hi ree! why are you so cute?! your comments got me blushing over here 🤭 you are just the sweetest thing! i appreciate all of your kind words and feedback soooo much! it fuels me to write more & more <3

also, you are definitely not "too old." i always say life doesn't start until your thirties anyway hehe. AND if it makes you feel any better with hair stuff, i've definitely already got a few grays. i'm right behind ya ❤️

if you're new to astrology, i'd recommend going through my "Bangchan As Your Boyfriend" astrology series if you haven't already. i go more in depth with some of those. but if you ever have specific questions regarding chan's chart, please feel free to message or inbox me any time <333

NOW, for your reading hehe:

your ascendant and mercury in aquarius (1st house):

with these placements, i already know that you are super fun and unique. definitely a "march to the beat of your own drum" kind of person. aquarians are already very cerebral by nature, getting lost in their own heads and focusing on abstract thinking. your your SPECIFIC planets found here are super beneficial to have (in my opinion) and here's why:

the first house, in general, is who you come across as. so obviously you have your ascendant in aquarius here, BUT you also have mercury in the first house. mercury is all about how you communicate with others. SO, putting all of this together, you likely come across as someone who has their own unique interests and is very good at talking about them. people probably think you are actually a very good communicator, albeit in your own way. aquarians tend to make mental connections that others don't, so sometimes you may feel frustrated when you meet someone and they just don't seem to "get it." or maybe they aren't able to get very engaged in the conversation, which is understandable because your mind probably works in ways that others' don't. this is an awesome placement though since likely (as long as you feel comfortable to talk with that person), they will find you very interesting!

this is actually a great match with chan. chan's ascendant is in gemini, and his mercury is in libra. both of these are air signs, the same as aquarius. what all air signs have in common is their "cerebral" nature. they love good, mentally stimulating conversation. NOW, connect that with the actual aspects of personality that we are talking about (first impressions and communication), and BOOM, recipe to immediate connection. you'd be able to talk to each other about anything any everything. i think you'd probably keep chan on his toes a bit too.

your sun in aquarius in the 12th house:

we've already discussed aquarius, so i won't beat a dead horse there. sun is all about personality around others- the way you present yourself to friends. and the 12th house represents spirituality, the occult, healing and closure, the afterlife, etc etc. i always associate 12th house energy with astrology actually, so i'm glad you've made it here 🫶🏼 and tbh, it's *literally in your stars for your personality to be attracted to it!

with this placement, you probably seem like someone who, again, has their own ways of thinking, but you seem as though you're peaceful about it. like at the end of the day, you are who you are and you're unbothered. unapologetically yourself is definitely the best version of you to grow into if you aren't there already!

i think this is also a good match for chan's libra sun. neither of the signs are innately controversial and usually get along well with anyone. i think it would make for a pretty harmonious relationship.

your moon in scorpio in the 9th house:

moons give us insight into who we are at the core. our deepest values and beliefs. yours lies in the 9th house, which is all about travel, wisdom and learning, cultures, and philosophy. scorpio is the sign of deep rooted connection, beauty, and intensity. so let's put all of this together. at your core, you are probably very driven or inspired by the world around you. your interests aren't limited to the things around you, but to everything in the world. you likely feel a deep need for travel and cultural connection. not only this, but you find beauty in each person from these different cultures AND you yearn for world-wide connectivity. definitely the "all i want is world peace" type. that isn't to say that you're naive about it, but in an ideal world, you see its inherent value.

as far as moon compatibilities with chan, i think this could work. i don't see it going overwhelmingly in one direction or the other. what i will say: your scorpio moon is much more intense than chan's libra moon. it isn't that it's your intention, but at your baseline, you can be verrrrry passionate about things. but more in an "idgaf" way than chan. it also means that it's gonna be much easier for YOU to share emotions than it is for him. and with that scorpio moon, you are definitely NOT gonna be happy when in a relationship with a partner who doesn't share those "hidden" parts of themselves. i think it would take some work here, but once you learn to trust each other, you would both fill each others' needs emotionally.

your venus in sag in the 10th house:

with this placement, it's likely that you love your people fiercely and that is shown through your actions. you're also probably very deeeeeply loyal to those you love, and that translates into relationships as well. it also means that you like to have fun in relationships and live them up to the fullest, which potential partners see when they meet you (through that 10th house energy)!

chan's venus is in scorpio, a water sign. and yours is in sag, a fire sign. a lot of people will tell you that "ahh water and fire don't mix" etc etc. but i wholeheartedly disagree. both signs represent the extremes when it comes to passion, just how they show it can be a bit different. both scorpio and sag are super full of passion and intensity in the bedroom and in relationships in general. the difference between you and chan would mainly be in the balance of fun & lighthearted love VS all encompassing, devotional love. you may feel sometimes like chan is being too controlling or is "suffocating" you in a way, and he may come to feel like you get flighty on him sometimes (maybe you go back and forth between what you do and don't want). BUT i still think that with balance and time, these placements can actually be ideal. it definitely makes for a fun and well-rounded romance. (i want to add though that if someone if going to have to defer more, i see you deferring more to chan. sag is a mutable sign, so you're likely to be more flexible).

*also wanting to add too that it is likely that whoever you are with (partner wise) will likely very much be tied to how people perceive you. idk just felt like adding that in there hehe

your mars in leo in the 7th house:

mars shows action and aggression. leo represents individuality and confidence. 7th house rules relationships, marriage, and partnerships. putting all of this together with chan's mars in sag, i see a combination for some problems. both leo and sagittarius mars realllly guard their ego. like a lot. with your 7th house placement, it seems like you are likely someone who tries to protect themselves a lot when in relationships with others. chan is the same way, in regards to his ego that is. this is how i see it playing out: some big argument erupts and your reaction is to place the blame onto something/someone else (sorry but maybeeee), and then chan pops off or maybe even gets upset and storms out. it's fighting fire with fire (literally 2 fire signs here). so when things "go up in flames"... take that literally lol. this would be a reallllly big make or break.

overall though, i think there's good compatibility here! feel free to leave any feedback or lmk if you have any questions baby ❤️❤️❤️

[hope-for-the-planet]

I'm coming to your blog directly after having a panic attack about environmental stuff because I don't know where else to go. I'm a teen right now, and I'm scared out of my mind because I'm worried I won't have a future, or the one I have will be so shitty and terrible. everytime I feel better and hopeful after reading an article or something, I see someone online say how we're all fucked, or how this is the last generation to die comfortably. I'm sorry for pinning you with the task of alleviating my anxiety, but I don't know where else to go :(

Hi Anon,

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way and that it took me some time to get to your ask—you and your fears are always welcome here. You have been on my mind since I got this ask as I’ve been thinking about the best way to answer it.

It is deeply unfair that you are already feeling this burden so acutely as a teenager. Please know that you are not alone—there are so many extremely smart, dedicated, and talented people working to make sure that people like you have a future to look forward to. You are inheriting a legacy of generations of older humans who have fought and continue to fight to protect our planet and mitigate climate change. We are in a better situation now than we would have been without their actions and the number of people who care deeply about this issue gets bigger every day.

If you are regularly having panic attacks or anxiety that feels beyond your control, please seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional—or find a trusted friend or family member to help you access mental health resources if needed. We all need extra support sometimes (myself included!)—mental health professionals can help you build strategies and access resources to keep yourself regulated when you run into major anxiety triggers.

It is completely reasonable to have concerns about what the future will hold—but you absolutely still have a future and the chance to live a meaningful and fulfilling life even in the midst of this crisis. We will face new and different obstacles from past generations, but there is still ample opportunity to mitigate the scope of this crisis, to adapt our communities to weather the challenges of climate change, and to leverage this necessary change to build a better world.

On this journey there will continue to be times when there is bad news and setbacks and difficult change—and this means that cultivating resilience and coping strategies is an important part of building your own adaptability and preventing a constant drain on your mental health.

This includes 1) Building an arsenal of healthy coping strategies and mental health resources that work for you (climate anxiety can be treated with many of the same strategies as other types of anxiety). 2) Avoiding messages of despair and seeking out sources of hope and energy. Surround yourself with people and media that feed your hope, join communities working to make things better, focus on the piece of the puzzle you can help with and don’t dwell on bad news that you can’t do anything about. Anxiety isn’t activism. 3) Even when you get really good at the previous step, there are still times when the world throws setbacks and despair in your face and you have to grit your teeth and choose hope anyway. This is the hard one and it takes time and practice—but this is how you get through those rough patches when there is a slew of bad news and all seems to be for nothing.

On days when the world doesn’t offer hope, hope is a gift you give to yourself. It is the only way we have kept fighting this far and it is the only way we will succeed in the end. Go looking for something to be hopeful about, and if you cannot find it, make it yourself.

Imagining a future for yourself--a future with hope and meaning--is a big part of this.

I’ve linked a few other posts that I hope will help you here: (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X) (X)

I hope that this helps you. I wish I had an easy trick to tell you to switch off the anxiety. I wish that I could give you a hug through the internet and tell you that you aren’t alone and we are going to be ok. Please, please take care of yourself <3

[like-rain-or-confetti]

I have to ask, why are you so deadset not to write for Twilight? I tried to see if you already gave an explanation, but I couldn't find anything. Especially when you have so many requests for it. Don't you like Twilight anymore? I have to say it's a little odd 😕🧐

Ooft that explanation is about 2-3 years back now.

I'll explain again from what I remember after 2-3 years. I should start by saying at just point I had been writing for twilight for about...6 years maybe?

I was slowing down and getting into a writers block and then drama happened.

Long story short the final nail in the coffin was being accused of being racist because I preferred the Romanian coven over the Egyptian coven and it made me sick to think people could going through my writing at the time and tearing it apart looking for any kind of evidence to prove it. So with the drama and all that I said "fuck this. I had a good run. See ya later. I'm not sticking around for this shit."

And it put me off of twilight completely. I stopped reading fanfic. I deleted all of my old WIPs for twilight and focused on me, my mental health -and Jonathan Crane and Edward Nygma but shhhh 🤫-

My experience with this blog back then is the more followers came more attention which led to more of the bullshit. As I have seen with all platforms. On tumblr, I saw other blogs being called out left right and centre for one thing or another. Some valid, some not valid, and now it was my turn... again...for something else because the other ones didn't stick. However, 3 years later and being in other fandoms, I realised something.

In the twilight random, I've been accused of being a body shamer, a manipulator because of my follower number, racist, pretty sure sexist a very long time ago, and the list goes on. All from the twilight fandom. No other fandom, and I've noticed those accusations stayed in the twilight fandom. And every single one made me wonder wtf was going on. And you'd think I'd forget these accusations. The people who point the fingers seem to forget. I don't forget. I remember the feelings of confusion and terror when I got accused for every single one. So i wasn't very pleased when the reason given for my 'racism' was an assumption that I preferred the Romanians over the egyptian coven was because of their races and it must be my deep rooted racism that makes me prefer one fucked shit over the other. Both covens did fucked shit. I just had more curiosity and interest of the Romanians over the Egyptians and that got twisted into what was then called my inherent racism. I'm a sucker for villains if we haven't noticed. 🤷‍♀️

Now, 2 or 3 years later, I'm not completely against twilight. I'm over the drama. However, it does make me want to stay in my own lane, really. I'm kinda done trying to be friends with everyone because I know not everyone is on here to be friendly. There are people on here who haven't said shit to me and don't like me because X,Y and Z. So now older I realise I came in with the wrong mindset. People come online for entertainment, and entertainment comes in all shapes and sizes and there's nothing more entertaining than coming after someone in the name morality. Of course someone is gonna jump on, see the writing and make assumptions.

Its why I made the rules in the pinned comment. I'm not gonna share my political views or anything like that and fiction stays fiction over here. I have no patience for the argument that my writing gives insight to my very soul anymore. In this blog, we're here to have a good time, let the imagination pop off and have a good giggle. That's all.

So twilight was the beginning and taught me a really hard lesson, probably a necessary one too. Some people are just here for a fight on the Internet. I'm not the first or the last to be accused but I'll say one thing. It's been nice not having to look over my shoulder on every post I made for the last 3 years incase someone assumes the worst.

Would I come back? I've honestly been considering it. As much as there was bad there was twice as much good. I got a lot of love and support. I've met wonderful people from that community and a bunch of them have stuck around and had my back. Something I can't begin to thank them for. I'm very grateful to them and have no regrets. I'm not thoroughly put off of twilight anymore and I'm pretty much done trying to be understanding and civil to people who don't have the same intention.

Btws the irony isn't lost on me that I've said I'm over it but put out this massive thing but I figured my stance is still the same and so since people have the guts to accuse me of fucked shit then I shouldn't have to be quiet on their account later on. :)

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Random - I was so inspired by you that I thought about making a blog about my fics recs but I don't even know where to begin. It's too overwhelming!! How do you even do it 😭😭

Hey Nonny!

Ooof, don't have a life is my suggestion LOL 🙃

Seriously though, I'm honoured that I have inspired you and I hope that you find the time to create your own fic rec blog!! The secret for me, anyway, is that I generally don't really have a life outside of work, so I spend a lot of time on my blog, AND I also have a compulsive disorder that actually benefits in the sense that I have an obsessive need to file and organize things, and in turn it benefits you guys, LOL.

I've written several posts in the past that you can reference back to:

I want to start a fic rec blog, but I’m insecure about it

I want to start a fic rec blog in another fandom, any advice?? (Long post with links to my other informative posts... Essentially a masterpost and the best one to read)

I also want to start a fic rec blog, any advice?

How do you go about collecting your fics?

How do you keep track of and organize fics

Have you thought of keeping an excel sheet

I want to make fic recs, may I use your formatting for mine?

How Do I Go About Collecting Fics for Fic Recs

Those hopefully will answer all your questions :)

But yeah, some starter tips:

Come up with a method right away on how you're going to file fics. Mine took 4 years, and I STILL am revising it. By this I mean, are you going to rec only fics you've read, or stuff you find? Will you be an interactive blog (which again eats up time). Have a system in place. Mine did well initially because I usually ONLY rec fics I've read. Now people like it here because they feel like they're a PART of the blog, because I add their recs to my posts, and will rec fics suggested to me. It's how I've lasted a long time here.

That's another thing, allow yourself to evolve with "what needs to be filled". There was a gap in the fandom for recs, I just started doing it and then suddenly I became THE rec blog. It just HAPPENED. I never intended on it, but I enjoy it.

Don't let fic recs comsume all your free time. Running this blog is a LOT of work, and most of my evenings AFTER my full-time job, and weekends were consumed with blogging. I struggle a lot with my mental health because I constantly feel like I have to have something always for y'all. Nowadays I let myself have most of my weekends to myself, and I'm doing a bit better because of it.

People will criticize you for what you rec. It will bother the shit out of you, but also understand that they don't KNOW how much work running a fic-rec blog is. Just... let it roll over you and continue with what you like.

Take breaks. I'm overdue for a Blog Break™.

Add fics to lists AS you're recced them. It saves a lot of time.

Have a tagging system. It's ALSO saved me a LOT of time.

Do your lists offline, and copy-paste into Tumblr after. I make each rec post on a Tumblr draft, copy-paste it into notes, and make my list from there. That way the formatting is consistent throughout.

And finally, DON'T let yourself get overwhelmed!!! That's when it feels like more of a chore than a fun-time. Seriously, just take a break and go back to it.

I hope all these tips help, Nonny! And when you do start your blog, let me know, and I'll rec it for you! 💜🖤

Have a great day Nonny!! 💜🖤

[nothing0fnothing]

heyo! i would just like to apologise on behalf of the NPD community for the idiots that are frothing at the mouth trying to claim that narc abuse isn't real. yeah, we get it, pwNPD ≠ abusive. doesnt mean you get to dictate how victims should view their trauma, much less make it seem invalid. pwNPD make things so much worse if they aren't grounded! do they seriously think pwNPD are cute little bunnies who just want validation? i myself am a pwNPD, and it is soo cringe omfg. all this so-called npd positivity sickens me. you're convincing pwNPD that their problematic attention-seeking behaviour is acceptable. if pre-aware me saw all those posts, i would've never sought to change my behaviour and seek a healthier source of supply. i admit, i was abusive. no BS. i literally took pleasure in others being scared of me, to the point i would bully my own sister to tears and gaslit her into thinking it was her fault. i was fucking 10. i needed that slap on the face to finally realise this was not how i was supposed to be. i got my help, i got the support i need, i'm trying to be a better person. now thats the type of positivity we need. i dont want people telling me that 'i just want to be acknowledged'. no, wanting to be acknowledged is normal. my desire was unhealthy and violent. i needed someone to beat me up and tell me not everything about me and that i shouldn't want to beat someone up for doing something better than me. Thanks for listening to my TedTalk! 😊 - 🩹

A super well considered and realistic view of what it means to be a narcissistic abuse denier and its roots in anti therapy/anti recovery rhetoric from the POV of a person who actually has NPD.

You're very right, to be a pwNPD and to argue that victims and survivors shouldn't have a community based on their shared experience of abuse because you feel personally victimised by the conversation is trying to dictate our recovery to us. It's attempting to invalidate our experience and its hella indicative of real life abusive behavior.

Thank you for sharing personal details of your own experience with NPD. I know it's hard, I know it's not fun for you and I'm sorry your safe spaces have been hijacked by wannabes and fakers pretending that to have this disorder is cool and edgy. You don't feel cool and edgy for having this disorder, because it's a real mental illness that effects your life daily, not a quirk you get to take off when you close the app and go into your life.

Support is out there for people with NPD or people who suspect they have it. It's not as fun or exciting to get help than it is to run a edgy tumblr blog that perpetuates further abuse and stigmatises people with NPD, but our mental health is our responsibility, and anti recovery and anti treatment narcissistic abuse denial blogs are just perpetrating further harm and stigma. The people who beleive in it will never get better, and it's sad, but you didn't fall into believing the narrative that NPD is untreatable. You got help though it was hard and you learned to be better.

I don't condone violence to correct bad behaviour, I don't think you needed to be hit to learn better. The desire to do better and be a good person is in all of us, and I hope you know that the decent human being you are today is thanks to your own hard work, your commitment to consistency in therapy, your strength to understand your disorder, not the time you were hit to learn better.

Thank you for your support, plaster emoji, I really appreciate it. Your Ted talk was an incredible read and I'd be pleased to hear from you again 💕

[akookminsupporter]

yk i used to have an old frnd who i was very close to. like really. we used to talk all the time even though we live miles away and haven't met in like 7+ years. but we always got along. she had a really wide and kind of a different approach to life than other people which i really found admiring. i learned a lot of things from her and i honestly miss her presence sometimes. we don't talk anymore. time got us. there wasn't any fight or anything, we just gradually drifted apart and that's what hurts the most. why am i telling you this? because you remind me of her sometimes. she was strong, opinionated and never feared stating whatever was on her mind. that's a quality i acquired from her. so yeah... reading your messages (replies to the anons) remind me of her sometimes.

hope u do well in life, get everything u want and keep up with your spirit, rosie. i wish you the best in life and i hope everyone around you shows their love in their own way to you. and it's my request to you too, that if you have something to say to someone, say it. you never know when things might change, nothing is forever even the best of relationships (platonic, familial or romantic) end sometimes and you don't know when a stranger might become your new special person. so please don't ever hesitate to show your love to your loved ones. i've lost people and it won't be a lie if i say i barely have friends right now (i'm not forty years old, sigh. just ended high school) but that's fine i still have a lot more things coming. i could meet new people in college and hopefully form new definitions of friendships and relationships. but yes, from whatever i have seen so far, what i am sure of is that nothing is forever. i talk to everyone and you won't believe me people see me as a "happy go lucky girl" which i always like, because why being sad in front of people and making them feel sad when they can't do anything to help you? (in a good way. but i have this serious issue of bottling things up and that lead to anxiety. bad one) i literally have these thick walls because of how scared i am of forming bonds just for the fear of losing them. sigh. i just told you nothing is forever but i, myself have a hard time accepting that. easier said than done, isn't it? lol anyway a lot of sentimental and philosophical stuff have been said. geez i might cringe later at myself if you post this. nvm, it's so good that i found your blog, found bts, found armys, and found uh idk everything? yeah, life could be depressing but i try to smile it off because why not?

a frnd of mine was saying she's going to kill herself and i swear i've heard that lot more times from different people. two kids (15 year olds) commited suicide in the last two months where i live. and i was crying in the bathroom because idk who might be next. and it scares me yk what if it's me next? or in future months or years later maybe if i can't smile anymore? it's so disturbing, sigh. and i hate when people joke and say 'i'm gonna kill myself' at the slightest discomfort in life. at least once, just for a second i want them to think of thousands of those people who are surviving under constant fear of hurting themselves for real, who are actually struggling to keep themselves alive, to fight back life harder than it comes for them, and those who want someone to help them out of vicious circle of depression, anxiety and other similar problems they're caught in. i don't like people who make mental health issues look 'aesthetic'. hope they grow up to know better soon.

god i need to learn how to shut up. sorry this long. i love your blog, please don't ever shut this down. ilysm, hope you stay healthy and live your best life. also, again i'm sorry if my message is too depressing. i started off only to tell you that you remind me of my (ex) best friend lol.

Hi, anon! How are you?

I hope this doesn't sound disrespectful but I was a bit surprised when I read that you recently finished high school. There is experience in your words, experience that is usually gained over the years, with mistakes and frustrations but also joys. You are wise beyond your years, anon. That was nice to see. Although I keep in mind that at no point did you mention your age, assuming you're a teenager is perhaps a bit bold of me.

I think I've said it all day but thank you for the nice opinion you have of me. Thank you for the way you think of me. Thank you for somehow telling me that my sincerity is perceived by all of you. I'm sorry that you and your former friend have drifted apart. Life is funny like that sometimes. Sometimes people come into our lives to teach us something but not to stay. And in itself, that is also a life lesson.

In part, you remind me of me but unlike you, I have never had such positive thoughts about my future. About other people's? Of course, I have, but not about mine, I guess in that respect I like to preach but I don't apply what I preach.

Thanks for the advice and good wishes. You are a special person anon. Try not to change. Always try not to let life and all its tribulations ruin your way of thinking. Maybe try to be a little more positive about yourself. Trusting someone else people say is a rewarding thing to do, I need to work on that too, maybe we can do it together. I sincerely hope that people come into your life who bring something to you instead of taking something away from you. I hope that people come into your life with whom you can form sincere, honest and lasting relationships. You sound like the kind of friend I would like to have. That I often need to have.

I wish you nothing but the best anon, thank you for your kind words. I promise I won't forget what you said to me.

GRACIAS!!

[lifeofliebs-blog]

Hellooo there!

WARNING: I hope it's not obvious that I don't know how to use tumblr...

Sooo hi. I'm lifeofliebs, and this is genuine exposure therapy for me! (not that my identity is connected to this blog at all).

I'm gonna use this blog to write little tidbits of whatever current media I'm obsessed with, right now I have one story (??) that I will be forcing myself to upload on here.

TUA FANFIC

Right now I'm obsessed with TUA, specifically Five (because who isn't...) and my current story is about him.

SOME THINGS TO BE MINDFUL OF BEFORE READING MY TUA STORY:

Whenever I write about Five, he is AGED UP. Because that would be very weird to not do that. In the current story I'm working on, he is around 23-25. And obviously, he is an old man trapped inside a young guys body, but for my story let's just,,,throw all that out the window and pretend he's just a really wise 23-25 year old, okay?

I really am not a professional writer at all, I just write for my genuine enjoyment and because Five is my baby girl. If it's trash, well don't say I didn't warn you.

This is written before season 4 comes out (quite literally pissing my pants waiting for the new season) (UPDATE THEY FINALLY GAVE US THE TRAILER EVERYONE LOOKS SOOO GOOD), so this story takes place after season 3 ends, where they reset the timeline. It's kind of not completely based off of what happens, basically in my story everything worked out in the end. Allison and Sloane are found, the timeline is restored, doomsday is over. I wrote it like that because a) my children genuinely deserve a break, and b) my story focuses on Five's thirst for the apocalypse turning into him dealing with anxiety, PTSD, and depression. I wanted to show him coming out of a very traumatic situation and dealing with all his monsters. Also him being able to fall in love AHHHH.

This isn't a Y/N, and all characters outside of the TUA universe are completely made up and fictional.

I don't know if I will write.....those kinds of scenes in this, but who knows? If I do, I'll make sure to give out a warning before that chapter.

Alright, now that we've gotten that out of the way, here's my story.

BLOODSTAINED: A Five Hargreeves romance.

Five Hargreeves is living in a post saved universe, trying to navigate a new reality in which there is no mystery to be solved, no apocalypse to be stopped, and no peace to be restored. His mental health problems finally catch up to him, and he turns to following dead leads while his siblings adjust to their own lives accordingly. One night, Five stumbles into a room trying to confront a man about the Handlers past and meets Sophie. He is immediately entranced by her, but doesn't want her to know the real him. He gives her a fake identity, but finds himself becoming more and more addicted to the beautiful dark-haired academic. He soon realizes that she doesn't back down from anything, and that she's tied to one of the Handlers minions who is trying to go back in time to bring back the Commission. Torn between wanting her and not wanting to further endanger her, he fights with himself all while she does her own research in the shadows and discovers new information about her so called "professor'. They end up working together and Five learns that he is capable of love, but still can't shake his demons. He's still a trained assassin, and sometimes his patterns of killing get the best of him. Will his old habits die hard? Or will Sophie bring out a side to him no one has seen before, not even himself?

THIS STORY CONTAINS:

gore (descriptions of killings)

(hehehe okay thanks for reading)

[yooniesim]

honestly for your mental health you should probably not be so invested in every. single. bit of drama in this community. every time there’s drama you’re a big player in it. you’re usually not wrong haha, i’m just saying it seems exhausting for you.

Apologies for the book I'm about to inflict on you, nonny. No worries if you don't read it.

The thing is, I'm honestly not. And haven't been for a long time now.

If you'd said this to me six months ago, i would've actually agreed with you, nonny. I've said myself that that is a hole of negativity that is easy to fall into, and it is an exhausting one. I've done it before, I'm aware of that, and I'm sure as hell not going to do it again. So I can't quite agree with you now. There's so many things on my dash I just pass by & don't comment on. My drafts are full of text posts that I write that I purposefully save and delete rather than post. There's so many incidents and receipts of them I just try not to remember. And I've blocked so many people now to keep it all away, and thankfully for the most part it's clear now. Just scroll through my blog through the last few months- I've barely said anything. My first long post of the year was a few days ago and it wasn't even about "drama" lol. And you kinda sent this while I'm coming back from a break taking myself away from tumblr for the most part, for the sake of my mental health.

But if I ever say one thing... even if it's just one thing... somehow everybody and their mom is suddenly making a vague post about me, or lying about something I never said or did despite there being proof otherwise. I mean actual bold faced lying. I've even seen my own totally unrelated personal text posts (not about simblr or drama whatsoever) being commented on/manipulated/reposted. Even when I was on hiatus and posting 99% sims content. But I haven't been talking about it. I've been blocking the blank blogs and the anons that send me asks without replying (except the two from Thursday), I've been blocking people here that are clearly just trying to goad me into arguing, I've been ignoring the vague posts. Y'all don't get to see all of that, because I don't show it anymore, but it's been happening.

With this last shit that happened, I made only a few responses, and 1 of those was to immediately disengage with the person when they seemed upset, and I wasn't even the main person speaking with them- and yet my name was still the one in everyone's mouth, I was the one put on everyone's dashes, the one lied about and then subjected to white supremacist rhetoric. My childhood abuse was brought up like some quirky throwaway comment, for no justifiable reason. No one else was mentioned. Despite me barely being involved. Why? If you ever take a moment to notice, it's always the same people doing this. Because they constantly watch me/stalk my blog for some reason I can't comprehend. And analyze anything I've ever said, comment on my every move. In "private" and publicly. Even though I've blocked them, they continue to do this over and over again. One of the people that started this recent thing about me? I blocked them a while ago for trying to coax me into an argument and cursing at someone else in my replies. One of the others blocked me just for unfollowing them, and has been angry ever since. Another has been emotionally invested in my every move for about a year despite me barely knowing anything about them besides their username. They have an axe to grind, I suppose. I truly can't comprehend their motivations.

But sadly, whether I comment or not, whether I try to be positive or not, it honestly doesn't matter at this point. And I don't think it's right for me to just... never be able to comment anything of my own opinion on my own blog. So I'm still working out how I need to proceed with this. It isn't fair for me to have to be afraid of it something I said is going to be twisted and misconstrued- but going out of my way to comment on every issue we have here wouldn't be good either, just like you're saying now. Hell, that's never something I wanted to do- y'all didn't see any of the actual hundreds of asks in my inbox about drama and people here that I've just ignored or deleted, after all. My inbox is going on 500 deep because people still send me these things. I even still get criticism for not "using my platform" to address issues here. But like I said in November, I don't want to be that type of blog. I don't want to focus on negativity all the time. It's a freaking simblr and I wanna play sims! But I'm still a person, and this is my blog. I should be allowed to have emotions and to speak sometimes. The problem is balancing what should be posted and what shouldn't- that is something I'm working on.

As far as mental health goes, I don't think anyone here knows how absolutely crushing it is to not only be a target for the usual suspects (racists, transphobes, etc- I can deal with those, they're expected) but then also be attacked by people I considered reasonable, normal. For those people even to side with bigots just to attempt to "one up" me for some strange ego fueled reason. The people that have said I'm not even a bad person in their eyes, just annoying to them. Yet they throw such hatred and contempt my way, wish for my "downfall", and for what? A few more likes on their hateful text post? To feel better than me, better than people like me? To win some imaginary high school game they never could in real life? I know even this post you're reading now will be screenshotted and posted in a server or two, and someone will send me the proof within a day or so. Even if you do it in "private", I still see it- maybe especially if you think it won't get back to me, it will. Nothing on the internet is private. But I don't even share the proof, I just look at it and think, why? If you don't even think I'm that bad, then why? Why are you stalking my blog and making fun of me and calling me out of name? Do you honestly feel good about what you're doing? Does it make you feel satisfied somehow? How do you justify it? Is it just because I'm not your friend? Or is it really because I've simply disagreed with you in the past? Is that worth the resentment you're holding in your heart and then putting out into the world? It's not even hurtful to me, it's just confusing at this point. I don't understand it. I can't comprehend it. And that's one of the most influential reasons I don't comment on many things here anymore; I just don't understand simblr. Other than the fact that it's a social game parading as a moral one. And perhaps I'm bad at navigating it because of that.

But I guess what I'm saying ultimately is, no, I'm not invested in every drama here. And you're right in saying I shouldn't be, I agree wholeheartedly. But sometimes it feels like it doesn't matter, it'll come to me anyway. Like if maybe someone else said the exact same thing I did, they wouldn't get the same reaction, because they're not me. I'm aware of it now, and I'm honestly not sure if it'll ever stop, unless the people doing it move on. Until then... I suppose I've decided to just not care, to do and say what I want as long as it isn't harming my own mental health or happiness. I'll play the sims, I'll have my opinions, I'll post them. And just see how I feel, I guess.