#for once i actually have connection ideas ??

[glorious-spoon]

I think for me the foreshadowing is that Buck cancelled plans with Tommy to go be with Eddie and now Buck in the middle of the date will ditch Tommy, once again to go be with Eddie. Now while Tommy is okay with it now or understanding he's human. What can start first as understanding can ultimately if done enough times turn into frustration and anger and wondering why is he being chosen first all the time? Because to me this is the show purposely setting up why Buck and Tommy will eventually break up and it's because Tommy is going to connect the dots and now that Chris is leaving potentially, there's no way Buck isn't going to prioritize Eddie over Tommy once again and will be there by his side the entire time even if Eddie tries to isolate himself from everyone including Buck. We saw Buck kick the door down for Eddie. I just think the show is now showing you a pattern that when it comes to between Eddie and Tommy, Buck will always choose Eddie over Tommy, and Tommy does not stand a chance.

i mean.

to be completely honest, i think the idea that buck constantly ditches his significant others for eddie to the point that he imperils those relationships is a fandom invention in much the way that buck sleeping over on eddie's couch so much that he might as well live there is a fandom invention. eddie has not been the cause of any of his breakups, including taylor, in which case eddie was ACTUALLY in the middle of a severe mental health crisis where he needed intensive support and buck and taylor were on extremely shaky ground in their relationship. the reason they ultimately broke up was still completely unrelated to eddie; it was because they had an insurmountable ethical conflict that had been there from the beginning. there was a ton of fic about taylor getting fed up with buck always putting eddie first, but that didn't actually happen in the show.

i guess i don't see why tommy would be any different? if eddie does have another breakdown, buck will obviously be there for him, and it would be a dick move for tommy to be pissed off about it. if eddie is not having a crisis, i don't think buck will just start blowing off tommy to spend all his free time with him, because he's never actually done that in the past.

just generally, i'm not really a fan of the idea that people can only have one meaningful relationship at a time, and if/when buck and tommy break up, i don't want it to be because buck is an oblivious dick to him, or because tommy is childishly jealous over buddie.

[nayatarot777]

Quick Messages From Spirit • 3-Card-Pull

If you’d like a personal 6-card-pull, then feel free to purchase one through my Etsy shop! Full email/audio readings can be found on this pinned post here. I’m trying to slowly move the method of purchasing my readings to a much more structured and easy-to-use platform that showcases reviews, breakdowns of my readings, etc - all in one place. Many thanks! 🫶🏾

• Pile One •

9 of Swords

Queen of Swords

King of Swords

You’re in deep mental turmoil because of a deep imbalance between your masculine and feminine mind. There are many ideas, thoughts, and opinions that you’re swaying to and from extremes with. What you need to work on right now is that you need to find a way out of this mental limbo that you’re in. You’re only experiencing this because you’re refusing to trust your own judgements so, in a way, you’re causing this mental turmoil for yourself. You need to gain clarity and what you actually think and stick to it. Don’t flip flop and don’t go back on your personal opinions and beliefs. Write down your opinions if you need to and act on them. Speak your truths once you figure out what your truths are.

• Pile Two •

8 of Wands

Death

The Lovers

This energy is either representative of the recent past, present, or near future.

There’s something here about very fast movement towards a permanent ending of something. Most likely a connection to someone else (a romantic relationship more than anything, but it can definitely be a deep platonic relationship too). I’m feeling an ending that you did not see coming. However, every death moment is followed by a rebirth, and what’s rebirthing itself is some form of true and genuine love. Specifically for yourself. This shocking communication has the purpose of pushing you into an ending that was going to happen inevitably. The Grim Reaper just came through and sped up the process so that you didn’t waste any unnecessary time drawing this out. This connection to this person was energetically dead already. The actual death of the connection just hadn’t manifested into reality yet. This was a push from the universe to really get the ball rolling in your life again, although it may not feel like it.

• Pile Three •

Page of Pentacles

Justice

10 of Cups

You’ve been in a time period of learning how to manage something in relation to your practical world - money, your daily routine, self-care, etc. The truth about your life in general seems to be setting in, and I feel like you’re realising that what you thought would make you happy is only going to give you a false sense of happiness. There’s a completion to some type of hopes and wishes that you have - not necessarily because you’ve achieved them, but because your perspective on them is changing. You’re really looking at the earthly things that you’ve been lead to believe will make you happy and you’re seeing that they’re less significant in comparison to other things. To other things that’ll truly align with who you are truly and in actuality. This seems to be an awakening of your higher mind in relation to what life has to offer - which is way more than what can be seen and felt.

[freyadragonlord]

Stolas and Blitz’s relationship is a really well written misunderstanding plot, and here’s why 

I didn’t exactly have bad expectations about the Full Moon episode, yet I find myself pleasantly surprised by just how well the show handled the final confrontation between Stolas and Blitz. It was perfectly tragic and, most importantly, it perfectly fits how their relationship was built up to this point.

But how did Stolas get to this point?

Stolas has been starved for love since he was a child. His father only knew how to buy Stolas’ stuff to distract him from his distress (whenever Paimon bothered to even be around). Stolas’ wife – whom he did not choose – disdained him and did not miss a chance to humiliate him. He used to have a good relationship with his daughter, even though things got more complicated as she grew up and started to realize that her parents hate each other; but having your own child love you isn’t the same as having someone love you because you are you.

And then, out of nowhere, This Guy whom he considers his first friend - someone who was at the center of one of the best memories from his childhood - sneaks into his house and tries to seduce him!! Needless to say, Stolas is taken by surprise!

He even tries to talk to Blitz at first, and asks him about his life. He wants a connection, but Blitz just kinda pushes Stolas on his bed and starts doing sexy things to him, while dodging his questions. And, well, Stolas has never had good sex before that moment! His only experience is with a woman who does not like him and whom he doesn’t like. He gets swept away! Turns out, kinky sex really does it for him, and Blitz just Keeps Going all night!

Now, we don’t get to see how Stolas reacted when he figured out that Blitz was there to steal his book. The next thing we know (which is actually the first time the audience is introduced to Stolas) is that he is determined not to let that night with Blitz be the last. And who knows, even if Blitz had an ulterior motive for that first night, Stolas could still have a chance to seduce him! But how to do that? Well, the only thing Stolas knows about Blitz is that he really seemed to be into kinky sex and dirty talk…. So, Stolas goes for that!

After a while, though, he realizes it isn’t working. Plus, as much as the sex is good, what he really wants from Blitz is romance! So, he tries changing his approach, he introduces the idea of dates, of staying at home without fucking… But every time Stolas tries to change things, Blitz is resistant.

Stolas has many flaws. He is unaware of his privilege, he can be entitled, too self-centered… but one thing he is not, at least, is clueless about his own feelings. Stolas knows he loves Blitz, he knows he wants them to be together, and so he spends a long time trying to figure out how to confess, how to convince Blitz that his feelings are sincere…

In a way, it’s all that planning that dooms him. He spends so much time thinking things over, finding the perfect words, the perfect selfless act to confess to Blitz and set him free, that he does not realize that his confession will come out of nowhere for Blitz. And that Blitz will not have had hours and hours to rehearse his own reaction!

To be fair to him, Blitz truly is spectacularly clueless – to the level that it’s difficult to understand, without knowing his history - when it comes to his own feelings…

Right, how did Blitz get to this point?

The first time Blitz met Stolas, as a child, Blitz’s father had literally sold him as entertainment, and then ordered Blitz to steal from Stolas' house. “Go make yourself useful for once.” “It’s what those rich privileged fuckers deserve.”

Blitz grows up in an environment where his own father prefers another child to him. His only worth to his dad is to be a trading card, and to be an instrument to get rich.

Blitz doesn’t grow completely without love, tho! He knows what it is like to be loved. He has a best friend, his twin sister, his mother… And then he manages to lose all three of them in one single, spectacular accident. And it was an accident! But it was also his fault. And that’s the night Blitz learns that nobody can love him for long, because he does not deserve it. Even if someone did care for him, eventually they will realize he is worthless and dangerous.

Blitz hates himself.

Still, he does what he has to do to survive, and he goes on.

Years pass, and Blitz is trying to achieve his oldest dream, the dream to be his own boss, to lead a successful business, to prove that he can do something right. He needs Stolas’ book to achieve his dream, so what? It’s what those rich privileged fuckers deserve. He can make himself useful for once.

Does Blitz understand that it’s not Stolas himself who bought him all those years ago, but rather his father? It doesn’t really matter in the end, the only thing that’s important is that he knows that if he distracts Stolas enough, it’s not that hard to steal from him. If he sells himself, he can get anything out of Stolas.

The sex an accident, in the end. Stolas suggests Blitz is there to seduce him (Stolas is joking, but Blitz doesn't realize that), so Blitz goes for that. He bites Stolas’ neck to distract him from the theft, and Stolas reacts to that! Blitz can use this! He just happens to encourage Stolas when Stolas talks dirty to him, he doesn’t know he’s the one planting the idea in Stolas’ brain.

And Blitz could leave Stolas tied up and flee with the book, but at the end he feels bad. He decides to fuck Stolas after all, and well… That wasn’t so bad. He was supposed to do it “real fast”, but ends up spending the whole night!

Still, what if the sex was good? Stolas is still an entitled and powerful prince. And Stolas’ behavior in the following months only confirms that the other demon is just using him! And when Stolas’ actions start to change, well, surely that’s just some new kink, some new game…

Blitz constantly confirms his own biases, and he is incapable of seeing beyond them. He expects to be used because he has been used so many times, ever since he was a child. He doesn’t expect to be loved, because he doesn’t believe anyone can love him.

And if he starts to enjoy the time he spends with Stolas, at least sometimes, well….. That’s just the good sex. Plus, he feels powerful, when he’s fucking Stolas. Not only because Blitz dominates him in bed, but also because this is an arrangement he entered of his own free will, and he’s the one directly benefiting from it.

And! Isn’t it easier this way??? Relationships are messy! This arrangement, tho, no feelings involved, at all! He can push Stolas around as much as he wants, and Stolas will let him.

(Stolas cannot get hurt, after all.)

(He can get hurt??)

Blitz has many flaws. Being clueless about his feelings, and other people’s feelings, is maybe his biggest flaw. Stolas’ confession comes out of nowhere from him. He is confused. Nobody can love him, so it is a game, right?

It’s not a game. Where did this “confession” come from? He’s mad now. Stolas broke the rules, Stolas is using him again, somehow, Stolas… Stolas is crying.

It’s not a trick.

Their whole relationship has been a huge misunderstanding since day 1, and Blitz only just realized.

And Stolas sent Blitz away before he had time to realize, as well.

[anthroposeen]

tmagp 18 relisten notes

as usual, tma and tmagp spoilers below cut! sorry this one is so late!

celia:

- she was unable to go into work because of a "childcare emergency" but when we see her perspective we know that georgie was watching jack. on top of that, we learn that celia lied about why she left the house- i think its safe to assume it was related to her teleporting/sleep walking and its becoming a more frequent issue

sam:

- hes uncomfortable being around lena even without directly interacting with her, and feels shes impersonal as his boss

- he asked lena about celia's whereabouts, when he could have texted her himself or she could've updated him, instead he chose to ask their boss about it

- the incident is narrated at his desk, and he draws comparison to the recent encounter alice had- both involving a dead woman recounting the strange way she died

- "she was trapped in her greatest fear, which then actually killed her", its interesting that he was able to clock that with the little context he has -> i wonder if this concept was touched on at his time at the magnus institute

- doubling on the previous observation, sam says he thinks something killed them both, as in a singular force is responsible for their very different deaths. i think that he's right, since this follows similar styles of story pacing/information reveals in the past, but my question lies in what this "something" is: an entity, the fear conglomerate? (fear being a whole force on its own, with the denominations being smaller aspects of it), or a reference to the dimensional rift in some way?

- he thinks gwen is kidding around when she says mr bonzo is an external (reasonably) but once she reacts strongly to him imitating the monster, he does seem to reexamine why she reacted that way. but it doesnt appear that he takes her seriously about mr bonzo, rather taking it as a sign of her deteriorating grip on reality

alice:

- she's attempting to pick up teddy's spirits and encourage him, offering to go out for drinks with him, sam, and celia

- she describes celia as "really weird but in a hot way", which can be taken at face value or as an attempt to joke with teddy (seeing as how she describes her brand as irritating yet faintly erotic)

- after her description of celia, she says that she can make teddy forget his obsession with sam, obviously a joke about teddy, but maybe a subconscious example of her own feelings?

- she's very adamant to sam that she wants nothing to do with the incident even if its similar, refusing to turn to curiosity and making fun of him for suggesting she get her red string out

- she seems actually unbothered by the idea that theres likely hundreds of thousands of entities in their world, and explains the likelihood of them being real/how many there are as if shes mulled this concept over before

- it sounds as if shes heard of others (past coworkers) that try to connect the dots between incidents that affected them and it went poorly, with the best case scenario being no more interaction with the encounter

- sam tells her off for ignoring both the incident and gwen's mental state, which she rebuffs by saying she can ignore it and she intends to continue doing so

gwen:

- after some pushing from sam and alice, she actually tries to open up about her issues, but she has a problem with explaining her experiences, making them not take her seriously

- originally, when she feels supported/encouraged, she tells them how she doesnt think the externals are humans, and takes the leap of faith of revealing mr bonzo is one of them

- once sam makes fun of the mr bonzo reveal, she tells him to shut up and curses, running from the office. this is the first time we as the audience really see her break

lena:

- she picks up on sam being unsettled in the break room, but is surprised that its because of her

- "why would i need to talk to you?/ consider my silence as a compliment"

teddy!:

- he was in the royal mint court area around dusk/whenever the OIAR shifts start, and he says he didn't recognize alice (i severely doubt this as she seems the sort of person to be aggressively noticeable even in the dark)

- he tells her that he was in the area for an interview (assuming the other interview he mentioned in a previous episode fell through)

- he seems to be going through a very rough patch financially and mentally, sounding very beat up and not really meeting alice's energy or jokes as he would in the past

georgina barker, the man the myth the legend:

- she's babysitting jack for celia, but it doesnt sound like they live together or like this is an average situation (celia apologizes for taking up georgie's time, and if georgie were the regular babysitter celia would likely have less issues relating to keeping a sitter

- "who keeps taking georgie's face?" im choosing to believe this is a poke at the fans and not a real foreshadowing of her fate. she survived one entire podcast against all odds i do not know if she can survive both

- shes pieced together that celia is lying about what happens and where she goes during these emergencies, insisting that celia tells her the truth (drawing some parallels between how tma!georgie interacted with jon and his lying)

- she asks celia if shes being spied on by the government, this is likely because celia has a civil service job and wtg probably touches on similar stories, but its very interesting that this is the first direction she goes in, rather than a paranormal one (its possible that tmagp! georgie doesnt believe in the paranormal, having never had an encounter with the End, but i find it unlikely shes a full skeptic

incident:

- our second incident to be narrated by augustus! (im not going to draw comparisons between his themes yet since we only have two to draw on)

- the incident follows the post mortem account of a dead woman named violet parker, taken from a medical examiners investigation into her death, related to a case from the london MET police

- her body was found clothed, dehydrated and malnourished, with an ankle injury and worn feet. and, most notably, dead.

- after the autopsy, violet's body began to speak, telling the story of her death.

- no one had come forward to claim her body, i think this furthers the theory that these speaking corpse's are from an alternate dimension (likely tma)

- violet talks about being trapped within a house that has multiple descriptors of tma fears. including mentions of spiders, loneliness, endless corridors, a person asking questions from an alleyway (similar to the angler fish)

- she describes the house as having too many rooms, passages designed to be confusing, so you have to walk endlessly and slowly starve (correlating to the state of her body). she talks about doing deeds and services for the people in her life out of fear they'll abandon her and she'll be alone.

- violet describes feeling like a lone cloud rolling among her peers as a child, and compares their laughter at her to poetry (drawing very clear parallels to martin's brand of loneliness in tma)

- she says that there was a fog that rolled through the house and disguised her and kept her trapped, but also makes reference to rusted nails, rotted wood, and signs of decay throughout its description, a tie to the corruption.

- the house shes referring to had been demolished in her childhood, but she describes it as a manifestation within her, where she wanders it in her mind. this is closely followed with a description of corridors that twist and confuse her, a common attribute of the spiral and the distortion specifically.

- violet says that someone had brought her to the house, calling them a solitary figure that asks questions from an alleyway. this draws similarities to the stranger and the angler fish, but it also reminded me of the archivist (in terms of asking questions and being responsible for bringing her to this nightmare)

- "it doesnt matter, because no one is here now. because i broke my promise." while this incident isn't narrated by chester, this line still hit me as a strong parallel to jon's final arc, and i wonder if it might be a clue as to his current state of being?

glitches/lies:

- "i'll get by", said by teddy to assure alice he's in a stable situation. poor guy

- "sure. maybe." also said by teddy in response to alice proposing they go for drinks if he gets the job. this cpuld mean he doesnt intend to go do that with her, or that he doesnt expect to get the job (or! he lied about being in the area for an interview)

- "ide ran out of baby food" said by celia, lying to georgie about why she left jack alone

- "im not!" said by celia, denying shes lying

[fiber-optic-alligator]

I'm once again combing through the asks you received for various interactions of Drift and reader, before and after they escaped him, and boy oh boy am I feeling feelings. Although a very lighthearted idea came to me and I thought it was cute enough to share:

Since Drift tends to often meditate and sword practice and I think he maybe even does yoga and stretching exercises, wouldn't it be cute if sometimes the human would have tried to imitate him? I mean, yoga is fun and they may be trying to stave off boredom, keep themselves in some sort of shape or trying to connect to him, but either way they end up replicating his moves.

I just feel like this could also be a source of plenty of the more fluffy moments between the two of them, and that Drift would feel his spark swell several sizes in its casing. I can also imagine that since Drift is aware his "pet" is smart enough for some amount of communication, he can even help them practice their balance and everything, even if he does so mostly so that he can coo at them when they stumble or praise them when they don't.

YES YES THIS IS ADORABLE!!!

Watching Drift do his meditative yoga practices, you recognize what he’s doing, since yoga is done on Earth as well, but you’ve never actually done it before. And it seems like it really helps Drift relax, which is something you know you need. Yoga is great for staying in shape too, and doing it with Drift would be much more fun than being stuck having weekly exercise time under the supervision of Ratchet (yes, that happens, and yes, it is very boring). So you start trying to mimic Drift’s moves. He doesn’t notice it at first until he hears you yelp after falling over from attempting a particularly dexterous stance. His optics fly open, and he’s concerned you might have hurt yourself somehow. But then he sees you sprawled out on your back, and you’re looking at him so sheepishly…it doesn’t take long for him to realize what you were doing.

“You want to try meditating with me?” he asks you, reaching out to help you to your feet.

You give him an expectant look, chirping softly and nodding your head. His spark melts; though he is not aware you know what yoga is, he sees that you want to do it with him and he is all to happy to help you.

The rest of the day is spent with him helping you balance and the two of you meditating. By the end, you really do feel more relaxed, and Drift thinks you are even more adorable.

I might turn this into a full short story bc I love this idea so much.

(As for sword practice, he’s way too scared of you being hurt to try that with you. Maybe another day lmao.)

[dcxdpdabbles]

I came back with a new idea so you know Delicious In Dungeon Falin and her little white dragon form thing

With Danny he is on his way they're becoming an ancient but it's kind of for him like a puberty thing where he's developing like one large form and it's taking time for him to learn how to fully grown into it

His new form is a large dragon-like creature with owl talon feet and black feathers, and a mix of bright and dark green dragon wings. With the feathers having little dots that spell out constellations on them that shimmer like stars actual Stars if you look for too long

What is top half being mostly human but very uncanny valley like his body is too perfect his eyes are too black like you know perfect but something's off

Danny acts more like a wild animal then his normal self when he's in that form because he doesn't have lots of control of it so he a got a amulet like a Dora's which keeps him from turning into that form when he loses his temper/emotions

So here's what's happening

Danny is best friends with Duke and head of the astronomy club at Gotham High he also shows a strong connection to the Lazarus pits and once Ra al Ghul found out he kidnapped Danny but causing Danny to lose his amulet in the process but Duke ended up finding it

Duke as signal ends up helping the Justice League to get to Danny but when they come there they see that large monster instead Duke is the only one that puts you two together and realizes that monsters is his crush/best friend Danny

Danny has practically wiped the floor with the League of assassins and is now practically giving a long rant on how he hates fruit loops like Ra al Ghul and wanted to make an example of him as the first murder of tonight

Duke being best friends with Danny and hearing about this knows that Danny would be heartbroken if he did that because it goes against his morals so he takes it up into itself so Duke takes it on to himself to save and stop Danny with the help of the Justice League

After he saves Danny I'm just imagining a really apologetic Danny being covered in a feather like outfit just apologizing to Duke what the amulet around his neck as he cries just so cute I'm so adorable

I just really like the cute ship of Duke and Danny and the idea of large giant human dragon Danny

I'm sorry, but I've never seen Delicious In Dungeon (I've been meaning to start it, but I keep getting distracted). I don't know much about it, so I don't know how it would affect this prompt.

I couldn't really think of anything to add to it since Duke would have rescued Danny, but his rampaging would likely remind Danny of Dan, and nothing would make him feel safe to be among humans again.

I think Danny would attempt to isolate himself in the zone, which could lead Duke—with the help of his scary, competent family—to venture into the zone after him. I just can't think of how to plot it.

It is an interesting idea, though, so if anyone wants to try it, please be my guest!

[greenlighted]

like the sunshine in the lazy days of june

january gloom // all time low

❛ there you are, and there you were (and theres things id like to tell you, but ill save it for another day) ❜

AO3 WC: 463

“potter, is there a reason you're calling me at seven in the morning?” “i have an early practice today,” harry laughed. “don't act like you weren't already awake. i just wanted to see if you wanted to grab lunch after?” “i would love to,” draco started, smiled to himself, but he knew it wasn't reaching his eyes, not that harry was even around to tell. “but?” harry asked, and draco could tell by the tone of his voice that he was smiling. “i would love to,” draco started, feeling his smile melt into something a little more genuine, “but, i’ve got no one to watch scorpius today.” “bring him along,” harry said, sounding like he thought it was the most obvious thing in the world. “what?” “i could even swing by andy’s and get teddy out of her hair early today if you think scorpius would be bored,” harry went on as if he didn't notice draco actively losing his mind. “we could do a little double date.” draco felt a felt a little breathless as he willed away the fluttering feeling in his stomach. he shouldn't be this affected by harry potter. and he isn't even sure why he is, as if he's somehow surprised that harry potter wouldn't ever even consider dropping him over a child. harry potter, who loved his godson more than anyone on the planet. harry potter, who had been reintroduced to draco through scorpius when he'd met him one day at his daycare’s pickup time when his mother was picking him up and had ‘made a bit of scene’ when he'd spotted harry potter coming to pickup his best friend teddy lupin. scorpius apparently had no idea that his favorite quidditch player was the same harry that teddy always talked about. draco had thought this was just a little bit amusing, truthfully. while he'd always found scorpius’ obsession with harry potter ironic, he'd felt relieved that he'd never realized how close he actually was to his idol. he knew that as soon as scorpius connected the dots that harry potter would waltz back into his life and ruin it without even realizing it. and draco would just let it happen. and let it happen he did. harry potter, of course, was just as aware of their situation as draco was. so, once scorpius had finally stumbled upon him and fell to pieces over it, harry potter had owled him and he knew he was signing his life away by owling him back. “well, in that case…” draco mumbled, “i suppose i could spare an hour or two.” “great! practice lets out at noon, then i’ll pop home for a shower and then swing by andy’s. meet at that little sandwich by yours around one?” “it's a date.”

♡ + ⟳

masterlist

[love-kurdt]

Swooping, Sloping, Cursive Letters: 31

word count: 447

PLEASE READ THIS IS ME TRYING FIRST, AS THIS STORY RELIES HEAVILY UPON THE CONTEXT OF TIMT

October 11, 1989

Dear Will,

Let me catch you up on what’s been going on. I’m writing a book! I’m calling it The Wanderer for now, but I’m planning to change the title once an official manuscript is completed and I have more of an idea as to where the series is gonna go (I intend to make it a trilogy). I should probably mention that I made the protagonist a gay male, and I hope that it’ll end up turning into something for young queer fantasy readers to connect and relate to.

Since I write better at night and can’t really fall asleep before five in the morning anymore, I’m practically nocturnal. I can’t tell yet if it’s a good or bad thing, because on one hand, my writing is flourishing like you wouldn’t believe, but on the other, I’m not really going to many of my classes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m doing well with all my coursework, but the attendance policy is three absences per semester for a three day a week class. I’ve already exceeded most of those limits within the first month, but I’m hoping maybe my professors will understand, because I’m doing what’s otherwise being asked of me.

On another note, I’m officially a party person! Craziness. Remember the time when I actually judged you for drinking? That was funny. Because I’ve discovered that I have a particular affinity for tequila and whiskey. “Particular affinity”-- who the fuck am I? God, I sound awfully pretentious.

I’ve gone to a pretty high number of parties since I got here (enough that I lost count). I am a fucking party animal. For example, last month, I stood at the counter during a random frat house party and tried every single type of alcohol available until I couldn’t feel my face! I was wasted. So wasted that the next morning, I woke up and— noticing our naked forms in the same bed, curled up into each other— realized that Elvis and I slept together. Elvis as in my roommate. I lost my virginity to Elvis Presley. Well, Kuiken. Same thing. I want to laugh, but I’m actually kind of crying right now, because I’d always thought I’d give my virginity to you. And I don’t even remember how it happened or how it felt, and I just want to disappear.

Lucas said you guys talk regularly, and that you’re doing well… with whatever you’re doing. He still won’t tell me much at all. But I take the slightest bit of comfort in knowing you’re okay, even if I’m not in your life anymore. I still love you. I hope you know that.

Love,

Mike

-

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[missmastectomy]

hello, pretty freshly detrans here. i finally understand what all those ‘annoying cis people’ meant when they said gender isn’t a feeling. like, actually, i fully comprehend it now. if you unpack all those supposed ‘gender feels’ it all wraps back to stereotypes and gender roles, whether you identify as a soft boy or a big rugged stereotypical man like i did. because that’s all gender is. and holy shit, i feel duped!

you’re telling me i could’ve spent all this time being a hot hairy butch who defied the social expectations placed on women but i was so entrenched in the idea that i was somehow a man, which is DEFINITELY a real innate category of being and not a made up social class assigned to a given sex to give them more power (sarcasm) that i lost half my family to it? that i argued with people i know and love over it? that i experienced trauma in the church because of it? only to realize that gender itself isn’t even real, something i knew the whole time but hypocritically refused to apply to myself. i’ve been scammed. i dressed up my personality in a blue box and told myself it was a boy. fuck.

at least there’s freedom in sight now. sorry to rant in your inbox, i hope it’s relatable if nothing else.

I completely understand. I also used to feel annoyed when “cis” people said they don’t know what feeling gender is like. The thing is, though, trans people’s gender feelings are actually very easy to understand once you get to the bottom of what dysphoria is. Often trans people will describe their gender identity as stemming from dysphoria, a disconnect between the mind and body. The discomfort and desire to be the other sex is so strong that people transition and the vast majority of trans people describe that as the state of “being a woman/man,” instead of “hey, I’m a bio female/woman transitioning in order to cope with dysphoria.”

I talked about it before, but if you understand why women get harmful cosmetic surgeries because they cannot stand living in their bodies, or why anorexics will hurt themselves in pursuit of a perfect body, you already understand half of trans identity. People often try to reinvent themselves when they’ve been rejected or traumatized. People often try to mold themselves into someone else, someone you were “always meant to be,” but ultimately never will, because the image you’ve created in your mind is completely fictitious.

Most trans people operate like this. Ime there are vanishingly few trans people who recognize that their sex doesn’t change and that they are ultimately still men or women. Most consider gender to be innate, therefore they were always actually men or women. Few acknowledge that it is basically a lifestyle choice. Honestly, a poor one at that, considering the adverse effects it has on your body and social life.

Some transmeds cite sex dysphoria as the reason for transition, but where does it come from? They often argue that transsexuals have brains that map out the body of the opposite sex and that causes the dysphoria, but there’s poor evidence for this. Ask a trans person how they knew they were trans and they will say 1) they always felt uncomfortable in their body/didn’t connect with others of their sex or 2) I’m a boy/girl but engaged in stereotypical activities of the opposite sex. It’s really just a bunch of made up nonsense to explain the suffering a lot of gnc, gay, whatever people experience.

A lot of trans people don’t realize that everyone else also has “gender feelings,” but they just don’t describe it with the language trans people do. Because of this disconnect, trans people often take this as evidence that their gender identities are real and infallible. But if you talk to, say, a woman who was very masculine as a child and didn’t fit in with girls, you will literally hear the same feelings of discomfort that most transmen describe. The difference is that these women grew out of it or learned to cope and accept themselves. Most transmen do not.

The conditions for trans identity to form are a combination of wrong place wrong time. I have a hard time not feeling sympathetic for the old fashioned transsexual types who recognize bio sex because I understand how debilitating dysphoria can be, but the religious mumbo jumbo speak of the modern trans movement is insufferable and harming thousands, if not millions, of people. It’s time to come back down to reality.

[shiicheol]

silent converstions ~ 2

‣ pairing: jeon wonwoo x oc 

‣ summary: Maxine found comfort in regularly sending messages to the number of her deceased ex, seeing no harm in it—until she received a response from a persistent stranger named Wonwoo. What are the chances of forming a connection with this unexpected stranger? How will their story unfold?

‣ genre: strangers to lovers. angst.

‣ chapters:

one

‣ disclaimer: The ideas and personalities depicted in this Alternate Universe (AU) do not reflect the actual views or characteristics of the artists. Their names are used purely as placeholders. Please remember that these stories are fictional and do not represent reality. Thank you!

NOTE: Text messages are in italics, while non-italicized text represents thoughts and narration

Wonwoo's POV

Texting Stranger

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for being a bother. I'm sorry because you have to put up with a stranger persistent enough to message a person who is no longer here.

What life do you live that makes it feel like you should apologize for grieving?

Texting Stranger

Please, don't respond anymore. You will never hear from me again. Thank you for your time.

There's so much I want to say but in respect to you, I will hold back.

No messages from you? I said to myself, as I observed the lockscreen of my device.

I'll assume that you're in the process of moving on. I hope you're doing well wherever and whoever you may be. 

However, as if one cue, the name of the Unknown sender had flashed on my screen again.

Texting Stranger

Hi, love. I told myself that I'll stop messaging you but here I am with a bottle of alcohol and a million emotions running through my heart.

I remember you used to commend me for having exceptionally good typing skills despite being drunk. It once used to be a memory I hold dear to my heart but now the thought of it wrecks me in unimaginable ways.

I was fine. I've been fine. Or maybe I thought I was.

How can I ever be fine, right? How is it possible for me to move on? You've managed to move on but why can't I do the same?

Fuck.

I'm rambling again, aren't I? I remember every time I would be in talkative mode, you would interrupt me and it would lead to an argument. Believe it or not, I miss it so much.

Please, love, stop me from rambling again. I promise I won't get mad at you. Just, please.

I don't know you personally but why do I feel your pain? 

Texting Stranger

Can I call? Please?

Her message had been surprising, yet my response was beyond me. The next thing I knew, I was waiting for the call, not hesitating to click the answer button, as if the panic i had felt previously had been abandoned.

As soon as I picked up the phone, a sense of regret flashed through me as I was met with mere silence at the end of the line.

I thought that maybe she had fallen asleep.

Seconds passed. 

Minutes passed.

Nothing.

I released a breath of relief I didn't know I was holding upon realizing the possibility of her being in a drunken state.

"Hmmm," I heard a soft groan from my device just as I was about to click the end button.

I looked at it with wide eyes, waiting for her to speak again.

"Love... I miss you, love," the voice slurred out.

"P-please, come back," said the soft voice again.

I couldn't seem to do anything but listen.

That was until I heard a whimper.

"Shhhhh," I tried soothing her.

What could I do, right? What can I say?

For a time, it became a cycle. She would repeat words such as "Love." "I miss you." "Please, come back." Then I would try to calm her down.

Until she asked a question that caught me off guard.

"C-can you please sing me a song like before?" She said with a voice that showed zero signs of sobriety.

Me? Sing? That was something kept private between me and the confines of my own space.

"Please."

But declining would be too selfish when I know the state she was already in.

I sigh.

With no second thought, I started humming a lullaby.

"I can't hear you." she slurred.

With another sigh, I made my voice louder but not too much for it to disturb next-door neighbors.

Just when I was about to finish singing the 3rd song, I heard silent snores from the other end of the line.

I released another breath of relief I realize I was holding.

I looked at the clock and it read, 4:30 am.

We've been on call for 2 hours.

I considered ending the call but it didn't feel right. I thought of staying the entire time but it didn't feel right either.

So after much contemplation, I decided to wait 20 minutes before hanging up.

That way, I'll know that she's in the middle of her deep sleep.

As I waited for time to pass by, I wondered why I was doing this in the first place.

I'm not one to do favors for others.

I'm not one to do phone calls late at night.

I'm not one to sing a song.

I'm not one to empathize.

But why?

I would say out of pity but is it really?

If it was simply out of pity, I would feel nothing but sorry for her.

So, why?

Why do I care so much?

Why do I feel the need to be there for her?

Why do I want her to feel happy?

Why does it hurt when I hear her cry even though I don't know who she is?

Why?

Why do I see myself in her?

[anticidic]

What's your ffavorite AU or version of Dazai/Chuuya/BSD? :3

oop, hello!! 👀

That's...actually really hard for me to say, because I feel like every AU/version of skk turns into total brainrot for me. I don't make the rules, the brain just makes it happen and I obsess. This got so unintentionally long I'm sorry in advance. (Hid the rest of it under a read more because wow I'll just keep going if you let me)

For versions: definitely BEAST. It's not even funny how I'll just yap in DMs or in tags about my love for BEAST, and not even just beast!skk, but all the beast versions of the characters that appear. It holds a special place in my heart because I feel like it had so much what-if potential and had the perfect amount of angst that even when I read it a third time, my eyes will still get watery knowing what the ending is. Definitely bittersweet, because I always find myself rooting for the cast by the end, but what do you mean Mori's overcome with guilt about a certain young man he failed to save and doesn't want that to happen again in Atsushi? 😭 my heart.

AUs: UH. I have major kitsunezai brainrot. Even before I started writing, I loved all the fanart of him as a kitsune (and the official art which jumpstarted it all!!) and now that I dipped my toes into writing kitsunezai, he won't leave my head. He thinks it's funny tormenting me with random scenes and ideas that I should write when I'm trying my hardest to give others things love and attention. I usually like pairing him with human!chuuya because it can offer some angst potential with a nine-tailed fox who's pretty much immortal with an actual mortal. Dazai being a lonely shut-in on a mountain lamenting a lack of human connection, Chuuya comes along, and he learns to make the best of it. It also can offer a lot of silly moments with kitsune powers like shapeshifting, illusion manipulation, foxfire, etc. so the idea of him using those to mess with Chuuya and mess with people as a whole tickles me.

Special mention for angel/demon AU that unlocked something in me after writing it. I like it for being ~scandalous~ in the same way that angel/demon!skk are still on opposite sides and supposed to despise each other because that's the name of the game, and yet. I found it hard to actually fit either of them into either angel or demon because there's cases where both of them could be either an angel or a demon. Angels aren't stereotypically benevolent, they can be mischievous, just like how demons aren't all needlessly cruel.

Also: what-if AUs like pm!boss Chuuya where it's like BEAST-adjacent but Chuuya is the boss and Dazai remains underboss. Angsty. Delicious. I mentioned once before where Chuuya would definitely make for a pretty good boss if he was the one destined to take up the role, but he's different from Mori and Dazai in how he approaches life and how he sees others. Having to make a choice that involves someone's death would be mentally taxing on him and he'd internalize that, even knowing he was making the right decisions.

[puhpandas]

I love ggy so much how did they accidentally make the most intriguing hypothetical gay romance ever

[good-beansdraws]

In echoes, witches are made by sacrificing someone to the Mad God, and one of the final bosses involves a character we've seen turned into a unique fire-elemental witch. Her fight is more sad than scary, since she's just a silent, soulless echo of the kind woman we saw before.

I really liked combining this idea with the witch-hunt vibes in Bring it On. In my fantasy au, Fuuta wrongfully leads his band of knights against a village girl, resulting in the townspeople burning her before all the facts were laid out. She was using magic, which is what Fuuta called her out for, but she wasn't using it for any malicious or witchy purposes. When she dies, the bit of magic in her flares up with her emotion and she returns as this type of fire spirit. As well as Fuuta's abstract haunting guilt, he now has a silent, destruction-bringing ghost haunting him each time he tries to run away from what he did.

[icewindandboringhorror]

More misc. daily life pictures and such

[void-proxima]

One of the more heartbreaking episodes of this show was released on April 28, 2019: "This is Not A Drill", featuring Drill Man (...and his absolutely abysmal excuse for a father). To commemorate it, I drew him over the weekend (and touched up the shading today). As always, the poor guy is not having a good time.

no background version under the cut:

[balkanballad]

had a day that made me think oh that was a bit heavy on the symbolism, wasn't it