#fuck fact: on my first run eden grabbed me and it took me a WEEK to escape

[ohemgie]

any eden fuckers out there

i don't actually know if i think eden would look like this, i just have a thing for long hair LOL but i know this mf doesn't take care of that shit. uses 3-in-1 ykwim — will color tom prob 🫡 goodnight world

[watchmegetobsessed]

An Ocean Away - Harry Styles

Sequel to Tastes Like Strawberries 🍓 !

a/n: ahhh! thank you so much for the love you showed TLS! i already had more planned for the story, but all your comments motivated me to do this part 2! it’s an emotional one so brace yourselves! further in the chapter i placed the song that inspired the title and i listened to it while writing so i suggest you do the same!

pairing: professor!Harry x Reader

warning: sexual content

word count: 12.7k

masterlist

You walk down the familiar hallway texting back Eden that you are not spending the night at home again.

Eden: You really need to tell me about the dick that keeps you so busy these days.

Y/N: I never said a thing about any dick.

Eden: Oh please, you surely got yourself a rebound after Harry, you can’t tell me otherwise.

Y/N: Don’t you get a rebound when you broke up with someone? I was never together with Harry, so it doesn’t make sense.

Eden: You had a thing!! Okay, whatever. Keep your little secrets, I guess it’s fine…

Y/N: Love you!

Chuckling to yourself you put the phone away and stop at the door you know all too well, knocking two times before you open it and poke your head inside.

Harry is sitting at his desk, his reading glasses sitting low on the bridge of his nose as he is vigorously scribbling something down into his notebook. He lifts his head at your arrival and you shut the door closed behind you.

“Hello, professor,” you smile at him teasingly, walking around his desk as he pushes himself back a little so you can sit on his lap, pecking his lips gently.

“Hey, done for the day?” he asks, his fingers tenderly stroking your thighs over the fabric of your jeans.

“Yeah. We can leave if you’re done,” you nod.

“Just a few more minutes, alright?”

“Sure,” you nod, standing up from his lap so he can finish his work while you sit on the little loveseat he has in the corner, right under the window.

It’s been six weeks since New Year’s Eve, the new semester has officially started, you’re working your way towards your degree as this is officially your last semester, but what’s more important that you and Harry have been a couple for six weeks following the heated actions of New Year’s Eve.

Harry is still quite anxious about the whole thing, always on high alert and he even asked you to lie to Eden and Nat too. You tried to fight him on that, but you could tell how much he wanted to protect what you had so you decided to feed them this elaborate story about how you and Harry had a fight on New Year’s Eve and realized that it would have never worked out so you agreed to stay just friends. It seems like they believed, because they’ve been keen on trying to set you up with someone while you just keep dodging their attempts, sneaking around with Harry behind their back.

Other than the continuous lying and sneaking around, things have been going well with him. You’ve been spending a lot of time at his place, the only hiding spot where you can be carefree around each other without always watching out for others around you.

Today is Valentine’s day and though your opportunities to celebrate are very slim, having anything that’s slightly public crossed out of the list, that still doesn’t stop the two of you from having a good night in.

You watch him curiously as he is reading the lines of someone’s essay probably, or some test, whatever. Holding the pen ready to use whenever he finds something incorrect, he furrows his eyebrows at something before crossing out a line, mouthing the words he writes to the side of the page. He doesn’t wear his glasses that often, but he’s been complaining about having dry eyes these past days so it’s no surprised he switched to them from his contact lenses.

“You look sexy in your glasses, have I told you that?”

He glances at you, a small smirk tugging on his lips before he returns to the paper in front of him.

“Think they make me look older,” he mumbles under his breath.

“Nah, not more at least than your grandpa sweaters,” you tease him, earning a ‘Really? This again?’ look from him that makes you chuckle.

You busy yourself while Harry finishes his work and then you head out together, strictly keeping the distance between each other. Walking out of the building Harry heads to the left where the car park is while you take a turn to the right. It’s been your usual, since you can’t have anyone see you get into Harry’s car so casually, so you usually walk down to the small café near Building D, because there’s a very narrow little street running behind it where you can get into the car without anyone noticing you. You do the same now too before finally heading back to Harry’s place. Sinking into the comfortable seat, you stare out the window, thinking about how it’s just been six weeks since New Year’s Eve, but it feels like you’ve been together with Harry for months. Despite his many doubts and hesitant act, it was easy to fall into a kind of routine with him, and even more easier to get used to the thought that he is yours and you are his.

During these six weeks you’ve learned quite a few things about him, things women on campus would die to know and they were handed over to you on a silver plate by Harry himself.

One, he is a very touchy person, of course, when he has the chance for it. In the safety of his home or when you have a few minutes for yourselves in his office, he always likes to have his hand on your back or waist, he loves touching your hips or cheeks, caressing the skin wherever it shows from under your clothes. He is also very cuddly, likes to wrap you in his arms when you’re watching TV and when it’s time to sleep the first thing he does is to pull you into his embrace. You usually wake up in the morning with him completely wrapped around you, limbs thrown over you, face buried into your chest or stomach. He is a messy sleeper, but also a fucking adorable one.

Two, he is a good cook but not that good at baking. He says it’s the universe’s sign that he shouldn’t eat as much sweet stuff as he does, but in reality he just sucks at measuring the ingredients. He never follows the recipe, easily goes with things his own way and then he is surprised when it doesn’t turn out as it should.

Three, he notices the smallest things you’d never. Like how you hate it when the Sun is shining right into your face so he always makes sure to draw the blinds in the evening, or that you prefer sleeping with more pillows so he just simply gives you an extra without even asking every time you’re spending the night. He cares so much about you to the smallest details, it always makes your heart flutter.

And four, though he keeps a tough act in school, he is a lovesick puppy when no one is around, likes to be the small spoon when cuddling, absolutely adores it when you cup his face in your palms and kiss it all over. Loves it when you play with his hair or when you hug him from behind, kissing between his shoulder blades. He always tells you how pretty you are and never misses a chance to sneak a kiss from you. You couldn’t imagine him do any of these before you really knew him, but now you see that all these little things are just as much parts of him like the version of him he shows at school. You feel lucky to be able to see him like this and you’ll probably never get bored of it.

Arriving to his place you drop your bag off at the bedroom before you join him in the kitchen, already eyeing the flyer to the nearby Italian place that delivers.

“How about pizza?” he hums, eyebrows knitted together as he scans the menu.

“Sounds good. Can we order dessert too?” Walking past him you kiss his shoulder before grabbing a glass for yourself, filling it with tap water.

“Oh, no need,” he shyly answers, glancing at you. “We… have dessert.”

You watch him with curious eyes as he disappears in his little study before emerging with a plate filled with pink cupcakes. They look wobbly, the cream on top is not the same on either of them, but because you know he made them, they are the most perfect you’ve ever seen.

He places the plate to the counter with a shy smile before turning to you.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he murmurs, hands finding your hips as he pulls you in for a kiss.

“Oh baby, did you stay up last night to make these?” you ask, touched that he took the time and energy to surprise you with something. Harry nods and you kiss his dimples softly.

“Mm, they are strawberry flavored,” he smirks boyishly.

“We are never escaping strawberries,” you chuckle softly as you dip your fingertip into the cream on top of one of the cakes, tasting it. “Hmm, this is actually good,” you tell him.

“Yeah, the cream is kind of okay, dunno about the rest though,” he admits chuckling.

“As long as it’s not poisonous, I’ll love it,” you giggle kissing his lips again softly. “Alright, but I can’t go over the fact that we agreed on no gifts for Valentine’s Day,” you say giving him a look.

“S’not a gift, just… a little gesture,” he shrugs innocently.

“Okay, then you can’t get mad over my little gesture,” you smirk at him, peeling his arms off you before you run into his bedroom to get his gift.

You really weren’t planning to give him anything, but you had a good idea last minute and couldn’t just not do it. Digging into your bag you pull out the little box and join him in the kitchen again, handing it to him.

“It’s not fair if you spent money on it,” he pouts, but you just roll your eyes.

“You spent money on the cupcakes too. But besides, I didn’t spent a penny on it. Open it!” You urge him.

Harry huffs but takes the lid off, revealing a stack of Polaroid photos. In this not too ideal situation the two of you are living in, there’s no chance you can ever post anything about him, even though there are quite a few cute photos of you with Harry. Eden recently bought a Polaroid printer and you borrowed it to print your favorite pictures of the two of you. There’s one from the morning after New Year’s Eve, just a silly selfie you took in bed, then one with the band from Harry’s birthday recently, a photo of the two of you backstage of one of his gigs you took in the mirror, he has his guitar in his hands as you stand next to him smiling widely. There are a few more with Sarah, Mitch, Charlotte and Adam and at the very end of the stack… some special ones.

You watch him go through them smiling warmly until he reaches the last few and freezes. You took the courage to take a few spicy ones of yourself in your favorite lingerie and thought it would be sexy to print them out as well and give them to him.

“I hope you’re not thinking about selling them already,” you chuckle. Harry glances up at you before shaking his head with a playful smirk.

“Was just a little surprised by them,” he admits.

“Do you… like them?”

“Oh baby, I love them, you look… wow,” he breathes out going over the pictures one more time. “But I’m gonna have to lock these away so no one finds them. Adam likes to go over my stuff when he is over, I definitely don’t want him to find them.”

“You better keep them safe because if anyone sees them I’m burying myself,” you snort.

Harry puts the stack of photos back into the box before leaning down he cups your face and kisses you gently.

“Thank you, love the pictures. All of them,” he adds cheekily and you feel yourself blushing.

He leans in to kiss you again, putting the box aside to the counter and this time it’s not just one short kiss, he carries it on, taking his time with your lips, savoring and tasting you without a worry in the world. It grows more and more passionate, tongues clashing and you tug at his hair, lacing your fingers through his locks, a moan escaping his pink lips.

You start inching backwards until your backside meets the edge of the counter. Harry doesn’t hesitate to pull your sweater off of you, throwing it behind before his lips are pressed against yours again. It doesn’t take long for his shirt and pants and your jeans to end up on the floor somewhere behind him, leaving you both in just your underwear. You kiss down his neck and collarbones, your lips gliding across his tattooed chest as you slowly slide down to your knees, hands moving over his growing bulge.

Hooking your fingers into the elastic of his boxers, you tug them down and pull his erection out, already so hard for you and you barely even touched him.

“What does my Valentine deserve for making me cupcakes?” you hum, teasingly pumping him a few times with your hands. Harry whimpers under your touch, but doesn’t answer so you stop your hands and look up at him. “Talk to me, what do you want?”

“Your mouth,” he breathes out, his eyes meeting yours, filled with lust and hunger only for you. Smirking to yourself you lick his length up before gently kissing the head, swirling your tongue around the tip before you slowly take him into your mouth.

“Oh fuck, baby!” he pants when you start bobbing your head, pumping the base in sync with your head’s movements.

His hand comes to the back of your head, fingers lacing through your hair. He doesn’t force you, he never does, just likes to hold onto you. You try to take him deeper and deeper with each movement until you fit his whole cock into your mouth, keeping it there for a few seconds before pulling away and letting him go.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he mumbles, helping you up from the floor, kissing your lips hard as he is already pulling your panties down your legs. “How do you want it?”

“From behind,” you tell without hesitation, turning around so you can lean onto the counter and push your ass up for him.

You feel one of his hands stroke down your spine while the other one reaches between your legs, his fingers finding your clit, drawing gentle circles on it at first before he goes a little harder, making you moan his name.

“Harry, please!” you beg, the need to feel him growing with each passing second.

He pulls his hand back, grabbing his hard cock as he lines himself up with you, one hand on his shaft, the other one holding your hip firmly to keep you in place. First he pushes just the tip inside and when he is sure you’re ready to take more, he slides all of him inside, filling you up perfectly.

“Shit, you feel so fucking good. Always so good,” he breathes out, both his hands coming to grip your waist as his hips meet your ass from behind.

He starts moving, going a little soft at the beginning before he gets rougher, his hips smacking against your ass with each thrust. You arch your back and push your ass up so you’re angled just perfectly for him, he runs a hand up your back, sliding it under the clasp of your bra and he leaves it there while fucking you from behind oh so well.

“Harry, oh my God!” you groan when he starts hitting that one spot that makes you go crazy.

“Feeling good, baby?”

“Fuck! So good!” you gasp, feeling the pleasure building up with each thrust. “Go harder!” you beg and once he has both hands on your hips again he does as you asked, railing into you hard, making you keep gasping for air.

“Getting close? Tell me when you’re about to cum, baby.”

“I’m close, please don’t stop!” you pant, hands holding onto the counter’s edge for dear life.

He reaches around you, a hand coming between your legs as his fingers find your clit again, adding to the sensation as he starts playing with it just the way you like it.

“Fuck, fuck! I’m gonna cum! Harry!” you moan uncontrollably and he growls deeply from his chest.

“Cum with me, baby. Give it to me,” he breathes out sharply and he just keeps railing you hard, fingers working on your clit until he feels your walls clench around his dick. “Oh fuck, yes, baby! Cum on my cock!” he gasps and at the same time as you go through your orgasm, you feel him twitch inside you, coming hard with you at the same time. “Jesus fuck! I love you, Y/N!”

You gasp at his words, eyes snapping open in the middle of your orgasm and all air pushes out of your lungs for a moment.

He whimpers and moans, thrusting into you a few more times before he comes to a halt, both of you panting like crazy, coming off your high. When he slowly slides his softening cock out of you, you turn around and look into his eyes. For a moment you thought he just said it in the heat of the moment and he didn’t even realize it, but when your eyes meet his, you can tell he is a little afraid of what your reaction is going to be.

“Did you mean that?” you quietly ask as he tucks his dick back into his boxers, pulling them up, but you don’t bother to put your underwear back on, standing there in only your bra.

“I-I did. I didn’t mean to say it now, but I did mean it,” he nods. “Is it… too soon?”

“No,” you smile at him, stepping closer so you can cup his face in your palms, kissing his lips softly. “I love you too.”

“You do?” he asks, surprised at your reaction.

“Of course, silly. I wouldn’t give my nudes to someone I don’t,” you joke making him chuckle, his arms coming to curl around your waist.

“Sorry, this wasn’t too… romantic,” he breathes out and you press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“You said you love me while fucking me on Valentine’s Day after exchanging cute gifts. I think it’s romantic,” you chuckle, finally making him smile. “Besides, I don’t care about the setting, just feels nice to hear you say it.”

“Yeah?” “Mhm, care to say it again so I can see your eyes as well?”

“I love you,” he softly murmurs, his forehead resting against yours.

“Yeah, feels better when I can actually look at you,” you chuckle kissing him softly. “I love you too.”

It’s definitely not just fun and games, being in a secret relationship that no one can know about. It surely adds a lot of tension into the situation, having to be so careful all the time and be reserved to the point where you can’t even be seen too often together.

As the semester carries on you always keep your ears open if there’s anything going on about you and Harry. Though you only limit your time together on campus to the bare minimum, only talking on rare occasions, you still want to make sure no one is getting the wrong (or right) idea about what is going on between the two of you.

The worst part is probably having to lie to Eden and Nat all the time. You spend about three nights at Harry’s every week and you have to lie every time you leave. After a while you tell them that you’re dating this new guy but he wants to keep it low-key because he recently broke up with his previous girlfriend. That gives them enough peace not to nag you all the time but you can tell they really want to meet this new man in your life.

You’ve tried to discuss it with Harry, tell him that they won’t tell anyone but it ended in a fight and you kind of gave up. Harry is way too keen on keeping it a secret and it’s clear he is not gonna make any exceptions. At least it’s the same with his friends, the two of you act like just friends when you’re out with the band though you have a suspicion that Sarah can see through the act. However she chooses not to talk about it so it’s kept hidden.

You don’t fight much with Harry, but when you do, it’s major. You both can get really into the argument and it easily gets way too heated, turning into a screaming match until you both realize you should just talk it out and have a little more understanding for each other. The makeup sex after a fight however… that’s something that makes up for every nasty thing that’s said in the heat of the moment.

Nearing the end of the semester you both start to grow more stressed, you about finishing your last classes, your thesis and studying for your finals, Harry about the growing pile of essays and tests waiting to be graded. A lot of the time when you’re at his place you both are busy with your own stuff and only have the chance to actually be with each other when you go to bed. It takes a toll on the both of you, but you’re determined to make it work. Despite the unfortunate nature of how you are forced to maintain your relationship, it’s the healthiest one you’ve ever head and you definitely won’t give up on it too easily.

Though you, Nat and Eden turn in your thesis works mid-April, the semester is still not done for the three of you, the final exams are threateningly close at this point. Spring has officially kicked in, the weather is mostly clear and sunny, allows you to stay outside again and you take advantage of it.

One particular afternoon the three of you are lounging under the pergola, all three of you buried in a book or your notes when you spot Harry walking towards the building. You keep your eyes on him as he slowly approaches you, his gaze meets yours and he smiles at you shortly. It’s all you can get out in the public, but it’s more than nothing.

“Isn’t it hard to see him?” Eden asks and glancing her way you see that she is looking at Harry who is now busy with his phone.

“Why would it be?”

“I don’t know, you clearly had a thing for him and it wasn’t even just a one-sided flirting like every other women had with him. I couldn’t be around him if it happened to me.”

“It’s not like anything major happened. It was all bad timing and the situation wasn’t good. It’s better this way,” you tell her, trying to sound convincing while the guilt is eating you on the inside. All these lies are clouding over your head and you have a feeling they will come down on you pouring one day.

“Still crazy that you are friends with his friends though,” Nat chimes in, squinting her eyes in the sunshine.

“Yeah, you are literally the only person on campus who gets to see him in his private life,” Eden nods. If only they knew how much you see him privately!

“It’s not that crazy,” you shrug, turning back to your book.

You all get back to work, forgetting about Harry, or at least Nat and Eden does, because you get a text from him shortly after he disappeared in the building.

Harry: You look very pretty today :)

Y/N: Flirting with me on campus, professor?

Harry: Can’t help it.

Y/N: You look handsome too, it’s a shame I can’t kiss you stupid!

Harry: Patience!

 “Y/N? Did you hear what I said?” Nat grabs your attention from the phone and you realize she was talking to you.

“What? Uh, sorry.”

“I said that we should go out this weekend. It’s been ages since we last did anything other than studying.”

“I’m not sure…”

“Don’t come with your usual, rambling about how we shouldn’t have any fun before we finish,” Eden rolls her eyes.

“That’s not what I say. I just think that we have priorities.”

“I don’t know about you, but it’s a priority for me to have fun, so I’m down for a night out.

“I think I’m passing,” you mumble. You already made plans for the weekend with Harry, take a hike up the hills since the weather has been nice and it would be great to spend time together outside the house. The hiking routes are far away enough from town that uni students don’t like to take the hustle to drive all the way out so you’ll be fine being together outside.

“If you want to say that you have something planned with your mystery man, don’t even bother. If it’s not his birthday, we are overruling him,” Eden scoffs and you roll your eyes at her.

“Just go without me.”

“That’s not the same!” Nat whines. “Come on, Y/N. For once choose us!”

“That’s rude I choose you guys a lot of times!”

“Not since you’ve been spending half your life with some man and the other half in the library.”

“Yeah, we feel abandoned!” Nat pouts at you, trying to make you feel bad and in all honesty, she is succeeding.

“We can doll ourselves up, have fancy cocktails and all that, it’s gonna be fun! Come on, just one night! I can’t take another Saturday sitting in my room, reading my notes,” Eden growls and you sigh in defeat.

“Alright, I guess I’m in,” you mumble and your friends start cheering as if you just declared that men and women are going to get paid equally from now on.

You can tell Harry is bummed that you have to cancel your weekend plans, but he is also trying to be understanding.

“I couldn’t bring up a relevant argument so they made me say yes,” you growl when later that day you’re cuddling on his couch after dinner.

“S’fine,” he sighs, leaning down he pecks your lips shortly.

“Wish I could just tell them that I had plans with you,” you breathe out.

“Y/N…” “I know!” you roll your eyes. “It’s just that it would be nice if I could at least tell them the truth.”

“We already talked about this,” he sighs.

“I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that it bothers me,” you point out. “Am I not allowed to feel that way?”

“You are, I just don’t get why you keep bringing it up when there’s literally nothing I can do about it,” he retorts.

“Well there is, you just choose not to.” And with that, you officially pick another fight with him.

It’s not that you enjoy fighting with him, not at all, but the situation is so not ideal and you find his overprotectiveness a little too much at times. You don’t understand why you can’t share it with your two closest friends. You could at least tell Sarah or the other guys, have anyone know about the two of you, but literally no one on Earth knows that you are a couple and it’s bugging you way more than it probably should.

“Why are you so damn keen on making others know about us? What does that have to do with anything?” he growls throwing his hands into the air, standing in the opposite end of the room as you keep pacing the floor, the urge to keep on moving taking over you.

“Because—“ you snap, but stop yourself. You know if you say it out loud, he’ll think you’re stupid.

“Because what?!”

“Because i-it makes me feel like we are not even real! I can’t talk about us, I can’t touch you outside of this house, no one knows we are a thing and it’s so fucking nerve-wrecking, Harry!” you break down, feeling your throat closing up. You didn’t mean to get emotional over this, but you’ve been bottling it up for a while now.

Harry’s shoulder fall forward as he sees the change in you, the heat of the fight long forgotten. He crosses the room, hands reaching up to cup your face in his palms, his thumbs running across the soft skin under your eyes as he wipes the tears away.

“Baby, I know. You think I don’t want to show you off? I want to hold your hand and just take a walk with you, kiss you whenever I want to, show all the horny fratboys on campus that you’re taken. I know it’s hard, but we really don’t have a choice until the end of the semester.”

He gently kisses the tip of your nose before pulling you to his chest, your arms circle around his waist as you bury your face into the crook of his neck, trying to stop your sobs.

“I’m sorry. I really wish it was all different,” he murmurs, kissing into your hair softly.

“No, I’m sorry for bitching about this all the time. I knew what we were getting into,” you exhale sharply. “It just… really sucks.”

“It does. But we just have to be patient.”

You manage to put the fight behind and move on in peace, but a tiny thought remains buzzing in the very back of your mind. What happens when you finish school? Will it all be different? Harry will still be a professor and if people see you around together, they will know you were one of his students. What’s gonna be the difference? If he is so on edge now, something is telling you he won’t be changing dramatically and it concerns you. A lot.

Not willingly, but you go out with Nat and Eden on Saturday. You go to a place that’s quite popular between students, you can most likely always find familiar faces from lecture halls and classes. It’s close to campus and more on the cheap side, the perfect spot for uni students for a night of fun.

As expected, you run into some people from school and they invite the three of you to sit with them at their table which comes in handy, because there’s no empty place by the time you arrive.

One drink follows the other and you easily get tipsy especially because you skipped on dinner before heading out. Though you weren’t in the mood for tonight, you find yourself enjoying the conversation and the company. It really has been long since the last time you went out with the girls and it’s nice to spend some time with them without the books and notes.

A debate starts about whose course one of the boys, Jace should take next semester.

“Professor Peltz is fucking boring, dude,” Nat growls, taking a sip from her drink. “Had him last semester, I could barely stay awake during his lectures.”

“Yeah, but they say he gives good grades easily,” Jace argues.

“Okay, but who else can you choose from again?” Lydia, a girl who lived a few doors down from you when you lived in a dormitory your first year.

“Um, Professor Makley and Professor Styles.”

You freeze at the mention of Harry, especially upon hearing Lydia’s reaction.

“Jace, choose Professor Styles! He is so fucking hot!”

“Not that it matters to me, Lyd,” Jace chuckles.

“Oh come on, I know even guys think he is hot.”

You feel like an intruder in the conversation, keeping quiet as you listen to her rave about how hot she finds Harry. It’s like you are eavesdropping on something that wasn’t meant for your ears, but it’s just the guilt bubbling inside you once again, because you know you won’t be able to say a word without having to lie.

“She has a point,” another guy, Garrett chimes into the conversation. “The man is handsome and I’m not even ashamed to admit it.”

“See?” Lydia chuckles. “He is sexy and smart, the whole package. I’ve been daydreaming about him since first year.”

You catch Eden’s look, but you just busy yourself with gulping from your vodka cranberry, feeling uncomfortable in the situation but not even for the reason she thinks. Eden must think it’s weird because you had an actual thing with Harry, but the truth is… that thing is still very much ongoing.

“I would let that man do whatever he wants with me,” Lydia adds sighing longingly, and you are having a hard time to hold your tongue. Unfortunately, you don’t succeed.

“Not sure he wants anything to do with you,” you mumble into your drink and though you hoped your comment would stay unnoticed, but you are out of luck.

“You don’t know that for sure,” Lydia slyly replies, a bit too full of herself for your liking. Yes, she is pretty and definitely doesn’t have problem with guys, but she is a little too confident about Harry if you’re being honest.

“I’m sorry?” you ask with a soft, bit annoyed chuckle.

“I’m just saying that we’ll never know who he finds attractive, because we all know he keeps himself so far from his students.”

“Yeah, maybe because he is not interested in any of his students,” you point out.

“As if he would ever make a move on any of us,” she snorts and you are losing your temper. You shouldn’t have had so much to drink, because now you really can’t hold your tongue.

“You can never know, Lydia. You can’t know if he acts the way he does because he is just trying to be professional or because he is, and consider this, not interested in you. Maybe he would actually act up on his feelings but you’re just not his type.”

Your comment is more like just a harsh comeback to Lydia’s words, but Nat and Eden kind of catch on that something is up with you. Ignoring their questioning looks you chug down your drink and soon excuse yourself to get some fresh air. No surprise that they follow you like puppies.

“Girl, what was that inside?” Nat asks as the three of you stand near the entrance of the bar, a few smoking guests littering the area.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” you mumble, clearly avoiding to look at any of them, wrapping your arms around your upper body as if you were trying to keep your shit together physically.

“You snapped at Lydia for saying Professor Styles might have a thing for her,” Eden points out, but you just bite the inside of your cheeks.

“Because it was bullshit.”

“Why does that matter to you? Not that you’re together with him or something,” Nat argues and you roll your lips into your mouth, trying to keep a straight face but they know you way better than that. They gasp at the same time, Eden grabbing your forearm forcefully that makes you scowl.

“Hey! That hurts!” you whine, but she couldn’t care less.

“Are you fucking around with Professor Styles?” Nat whisper yells at you, eyes wider than ever.

“I mean… we’re not fucking around,” you mumble, looking down at your shoes as you kick the dirt around. “We’re kinda serious.”

“Holy fucking shit!” Eden snaps, drawing some attention at her and you let out an awkward chuckle at the glances the three of you get. “Are you fucking joking right now?”

“No, I am… not,” you admit, feeling a little relieved that you finally said it, but you also feel like you let Harry down with it.

“How long?” Nat questions in shock.

“Since New Year’s Eve. So… almost four months.”

“So he is the one you’ve been seeing all this time? The guy you didn’t want to talk about?”

“Um, yeah. It’s not that I didn’t want to talk about him, we just agreed that it’s safer if no one knows.”

“I’m speechless, Y/N,” Eden shakes her head in disbelief. “I can’t fucking believe you kept it from us for this long!”

“I know, I felt so shitty, but it’s such a complicated situation, it’s so risky, we don’t want it to ruin us.”

“Obviously,” Nat nods understandingly. “And now I see why you snapped so harshly at Lydia.”

“I just couldn’t stand her talking like that. You guys have no idea how hard it is to keep every fucking thought to myself.”

“Why do I have a feeling it has a little more to it than to just Lydia drooling over Harry?” Nat arches an eyebrow at you, folding her arms over her chest.

“Yeah, you’ve been oddly tensed lately,” Eden agrees.

“It’s just pretty stressful to have a secret relationship, it causes a lot of tension. And I’ve been… I’m not sure anything is going to change after I graduate, if I’m being honest.”

“What do you mean?” Nat asks.

“I just…” you sigh, all your thoughts you kept to yourself flooding back to you at once, overwhelming you in a situation that’s already a bit too much to handle. “We keep saying that it’s gonna change when I graduate, but I don’t see it. He is so overprotective and even if I graduate, people will find out that I was once his student. And it might not be against the rules anymore, but we’ll be judged. I didn’t think it through before, but it’s now starting to be more and more clear for me and I just… don’t know if we can make it work.”

You feel the tears forming in your eyes, you’ve been keeping this to yourself for way too long now and saying it out loud just broke the dam. When Nat and Eden sees your lips trembling and the watery eyes you’re trying to blink away, they don’t hesitate to pull you into a tight hug.

“Aw, don’t cry! It makes me want to cry too!” Nat chuckles softly as they sandwich you between them.

“It just sucks so much, because I love him, but I feel like we met at the wrong time and place,” you sob, letting them crush you.

“It happens, baby. It happens. You’ll figure it out!” Eden kisses your forehead before they let go of you. “Want to go home?”

“It’s still early, don’t want to kill the party. I think I’ll just… head over to Harry’s for now. Is that okay?”

“Of course, do whatever makes you feel better,” Nat assures you, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

“I’m sorry I was such a party pooper.”

You call yourself an Uber and text Harry that you are going over. Twenty minutes later you are walking up the stairs to his house and he opens the front door before you could even reach for the doorknob.

“Hey, baby,” he breathes out softly and you don’t say a word, just wrap your arms around his waist, burying your face into the crook of his neck. “Hey, what happened? Didn’t have a good time with your friends?” He delicately caresses your hair, walking the two of you inside so he can close the door before wrapping both his arms around you, holding you close to his chest.

“Don’t really want to talk about it,” you mumble and it’s the truth. You’re tired of these thoughts though you know you should talk to him about how you’ve been feeling about the two of you lately. Part of you is hoping something will just magically solve the whole situation and you won’t have to deal with it yourself.

Harry makes you a tea while you take a shower and once you are both in bed, you cuddle to his side while he reads some. You are just genuinely enjoying his closeness, because despite everything that’s been haunting you in connection with Harry, you really love this man. Like no one else before and the possibility of the two of you not making it long term scares you more than it probably should.

The next few weeks come and go in a sense of numbness. Following your emotional breakdown in front of the bar, you kind of push the whole thing to the back of your mind once again, putting all your focus on finishing school. Neither you nor Harry has the energy to put up more fights though you both can feel there’s a lot to talk about, but the end of the semester is just keeping you both way too busy to acknowledge the problems waiting on the corner.

At least there’s one less weight on your shoulders now that Nat and Eden know about you and Harry. You made them swear to their life they won’t tell anyone and you trust them to keep this heavy secret. They’ve been very supportive of the two of you, interrogated you one evening about everything that happened so far, they wanted to make sure Harry treats you the right way. No surprise, he does.

A few weeks before your state exam Harry extends his contract with the school to have him as a professor for another academic year so he is able to keep his visa as well.

You spend your last two weeks buried in your notes before your state exam and Harry gives you all the time and space you need, knowing well how much it means to you to earn the best grade possible.

When you are finally over your exam, you are celebrating at his place. He has bought a little cake and some champagne and you can’t wait to finally spend some time with him without having to worry about your studies.

“I’m proud of you, baby,” he smiles at you, clinking his glass against yours.

“Thank you, feels nice to be finally free,” you chuckle before taking a sip from the champagne.

“My smart girl, knew you’d kill all your exams.” He kisses your lips shortly before squeezing your hand. “How about I run a bath for us, we eat the cake in the tub and then we can watch a movie?”

“Sounds fantastic,” you smile at him before he disappears in the bathroom to get everything ready.

Finishing your champagne you wash the glass quickly and you’re about to cut the cake when your phone buzzes signaling that you’ve just gotten an email. As pull down the notification bar your lips part reading the first few lines. You open the whole thing and read through it eagerly.

It’s a job offer, but not just some lame one that also sounds sketchy at the same time. This one is from one of the biggest investigation offices in London and they are offering you a trainee position as a forensic document examiner with a possible secured spot on their team after one year. The money sounds amazing, the position is perfect, just what you’ve been dreaming of once you are done with school and they are looking forward to hear back from you about a possible interview in the near future.

“Alright, bath is coming together nicely, want to cut the ca—Wha’s up?” Harry questions upon returning from the bathroom, finding you staring at your phone’s screen with widened eyes.

“I, uhh—I just got a… a job offer,” you stutter, still rereading the lines, trying to find a sign that tells you it’s just a joke, but it seems completely genuine.

“What? Baby, that’s amazing!”

“Yeah,” you nod swallowing hard before you look up at him. “It’s in London.”

You watch his face fall from excited and happy to shocked and kind of panicky. You both know what that means, it doesn’t have to be said out loud. Harry just signed another year with the university that’s gonna tie him here for the next 12 months and if you accept the job you’ll be all the way across the world in the UK. Kind of ironic, him, the British guy stuck in the States while you, the American in the relationship, eager to go to the UK.

“That’s… wow. London.”

“Yeah, London,” you nod biting the inside of your cheeks.

“Are you… Are you gonna take it?”

“Well, they want an interview with me, but this is clearly a huge opportunity for me,” you say, not wanting to say the actual words. You feel like saying them would hit you harder than what you can take.

“It clearly is, it’s just that… You want to leave?” he breathes out, eyebrows knitting together.

“This is my only job offer and probably the best I’ll ever get.”

“So you do want to leave,” he forces and it’s pushing your limits.

“Career-wise, of course!” you finally say out loud, unwillingly.

“And what about everything else?”

“I clearly don’t want to leave everything else here, but I will never get a chance like this, Harry. This is the greatest push for someone like me, fresh out of school. I can have a secured spot in a year at a well-respected place. I’m not really in the position to reject offers like this.”

He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, clearly unsure about what to do or say in the situation on his hand. You can tell he has a lot to say, but you’re not sure you want to hear all of them.

“Say something?” you softly plead and his eyes meet yours again, filled with concern.

“I just… It took me by surprise, I guess.”

“I wasn’t expecting it either.”

“No, not the job offer,” he shakes his head.

“Then what?”

“That you are ready to leave so easily. It’s like you never even wanted to discuss a version where you stay here, you just decided that you are leaving and that’s it.”

“Did you hear me? I cannot pass on this opportunity, Harry.”

“I did hear you,” he nods, pressing his lips together. “I heard that you didn’t even think about saying no.”

“Why would I say no?”

“Because I’m here, Y/N!” he snaps. “Good to know that I’m not a factor when it comes to decisions as big as leaving the country!”

“You are, Harry, but I need to think about my future career now. I’m not planning to work at an office for the rest of my life and if I pass on this job I might never get anything as good as this one,” you explain, but it seems like the two of you are having two different conversations.

“But why do I feel like it was never an option for you to stay?”

You give him a confused look. He really doesn’t see your point.

“Okay, why was only I supposed to change plans for us? You coming to London doesn’t feel like an option either, why are you trying to turn this against me?”

“I just extended my contract, you know that.”

“I do, and also, while we are at it, you didn’t ask me about that either. You didn’t even wait for me to figure out what I want to do after school, you just assumed that I would be here, but I never said that.” You can tell it hit him hard in the chest but somehow still, he thinks he is right when he isn’t.

“How could have I known you’d want to move across the globe?” he throws his hands up into the air.

“You’re saying this as if I didn’t just get the email and I’ve been plotting this the whole fucking time!”

“I’m just saying that it’s a huge fucking step and you decided so easily, it says a lot about the nature of our relationship.”

“Why are you saying that?!” you snap at him. “Why are you trying to make me the bad guy?”

“I’m not! I’m just saying that it would have been nice if you at least pretended like it was up for debate. You know what it’ll do to us if you move to London.”

“Then come with me!”

“I can’t!” He raises his voice, clearly losing his temper. “I can’t break my contract and you know that too.”

“Well, I can’t afford to say no to the job either and if I’m being honest, I don’t think we could have made it work even if I stayed.” The words leave your mouth before you could think about them, and the cat is finally out of the bag. It seemingly shocked Harry and he is now staring at you with a blank expression, shoulders falling forward.

“What?” he breathes out and you can actually hear his heart breaking. You take a deep breath and rub your face with your palms, trying to collect your thoughts and not just blurt everything out.

“I’ve been thinking and… Even after I’m officially out of the school, people will know that I was your student if they see us together. And I know how important your reputation is for you so I would never put you through any of the shit we might get for us being together. People would judge, no matter what the situation is. I don’t… I just don’t think we can ever make it work here.”

He stays silent, just stares at you, taking in your words and once again, you wish you could read his mind. You almost start begging him to say something when he finally speaks up.

“So you think we don’t have a chance?”

“Not here… maybe not now. I feel like this has been the perfect example of wrong place, wrong time,” you quietly say, a pang of guilt in your tone, this is not how you planned on making this conversation. To be honest, you wished this never had to come, but you were out of luck.

Harry is awfully silent, it’s all over his face how broken he is and you feel the same. You have so much love for this man, yet fate decided you don’t get to share it with him the way you want.

Walking closer you cup his face in your palms, searching for his eyes until his green irises meet your gaze. You run your thumb across his cheekbones, the pads of your fingers gliding softly over the soft skin. His hands slowly find their way to your waist and he pulls you close to him as you kiss him tenderly, a silent confession about just how much you love him.

“I wanted this to work. I wanted this so badly,” he whispers against your lips, his fingers digging into your back as he keeps you tight in his hold.

“I know. Me too,” you smile at him bitterly.

The rest of the evening passes by silently. You take a bath together, finish the cake anyway though even the sweetness can’t help the pain you both feel. Then you lie in bed for hours, just touching and feeling each other, making the best out of the time you have left. It’s unsaid, but you both know your days together are coming to a close end. Kisses and touches turn into some passionate love making, both of you desperate to feel as close to each other as possible and then you fall asleep in each other’s arms.

If you’re being honest, it’s all a blur following that night. You fix up an interview with London a few days later and they are not shying out of telling you straightforward that they want you there, the job is yours. You have one last short conversation with Harry about you leaving, but it’s more like just a confirmation that yes, it is going to happen and that leaves you with only a few weeks left together before you are packing up to leave the country.

You spend every possible free minute together until graduation where you finally get your degree. Your whole family comes and they cheer on you proudly, Harry standing in the crowd a little farther in the back, but still with a proud smile, a hint of gloominess in his beautiful green eyes. A week later you officially move out of your shared apartment with the girls, it’s a sobbing goodbye since all three of you are leaving in different directions following your graduation. You spend your last two weeks before your departure at home, spending as much time with your family as possible since you won’t be able to see them too often once you leave. Though your mom is dying to take you to the airport to say her final goodbye, you decided to give that time to Harry. He said he would drive to your hometown, pick you up and take you to the airport and you already know it’s gonna turn you into an emotional mess.

Leaving everything behind is hard, but having to say goodbye to Harry is the worst. It’s been a whole emotional rollercoaster for the both of you to get to this point and neither of you are ready to say goodbye, but this is what needs to happen.

That morning, you hug your parents, sister and brother tightly after you load Harry’s car with your two huge suitcases that have your whole life packed in them. You asked your family not to ask any questions about Harry and luckily, they kept quiet the whole time he was there, just treating him as a friend. You couldn’t take having to explain to them who he really is and how you met him, that’s gonna be another conversation for the future when you don’t feel like you’re about to start crying the moment you open your mouth.

The ride to the airport is silent, Harry holds your hand, your glued together palms lying on your lap the whole time. You haven’t even left but you already miss him so much.

Arriving he helps you bring all your stuff inside and patiently waits until you check your baggage in, leaving you with just your carry-on. Standing near the security check, the final moment finally comes and as soon as you look into his eyes you start bawling your eyes out.

“Oh baby, come ‘ere,” he breathes out, pulling you into his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I told you we would make everything right, but I couldn’t,” you sob into his chest as he holds you tight. You feel like if he let go of you, you’d just turn into a puddle at his feet.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he soothes you, his fingers threading through your hair.

“But it feels like it was,” you choke out. Harry leans back and takes your puffy cheeks between his warm palms, looking deep into your eyes.

“It wasn’t. As you said, it was just a matter of wrong time and place. But I think we brought the best out of it.”

“So… you don’t regret it?” you softly ask, eyebrows knitted together in concern.

“Absolutely not,” he smiles at you kindly. “I loved every moment of it. And I love you.” You notice how he didn’t use past tense when he said he loves you and you can’t decide if it aches your heart more or fills you with joy. A little bit both of them.

“I love you too,” you whisper before pressing your lips against his, savoring them one last time before you leave everything behind.

“Maybe we’ll meet again,” he smiles sweetly when he pulls back, tugging your hair behind your ear with a gentle move.

“I really hope,” you chuckle through your tears. “Take care, Harry,” you tell him, pecking his lips just once more.

“You too, baby,” he smiles, his hands falling to his sides as he lets go of you.

Turning around you walk into security and as you go with the line towards the gates, you glance back one last time. Harry is standing in the exact same spot, eyes glued to you as he watches you disappear from his sight.

It feels like the meeting is never coming to its end. You exchange a look with Jasmine, who seems just as tired and done with this two hours long discussion as you are. She grabs her phone from the table and you watch her something type out before she eyes at your device, signaling that she just texted you.

Jas: I need alcohol after this day. Want to have a drink with me after work?

Y/N: YES PLEASE!!!!!!!

You see her smile at her screen before both of you return to your boss at the front, talking about a possible upcoming case.

“And last but not least, I want to take a moment to bring light to the excellent work Y/N, our new full-time colleague did on the Santiago case. The police were highly satisfied with the fast and precise work you did. This was your first official case since you’ve decided to accept our offer to become a full member of our team and transferred from your position as a trainee. Congrats!” William, your boss nods in your way with a proud smile as a round of applause cheers for you from your colleagues.

“You go girl!” Jasmine mouths you from across the table and you just chuckle shaking your head.

The meeting finally wraps up and everyone goes on with their day. You are walking back to your office with Jasmine by your side. Your offices are next to each other and you started working here just three weeks apart. She is the same age as you and was approached the same way as well, it’s just that she moved all the way from Australia. The two of you have grown quite close, starting a new life at the same time in a foreign country, it easily brought you together.

“So are we leaving early for those drinks or what?” she asks poking your side.

“How early?”

“I don’t know, like fifteen minutes? Come on, it’s Friday, everyone leaves early!” You shake your head chuckling at her. She can be so restless sometimes, but it’s just the right amount that she can push you out of the comfort zone just enough.

“Alright.”

“Cool, I’ll come banging on your door,” she winks at you before disappearing for her usual coffee break.

It’s two in the afternoon, you still have a few hours ahead of you and some caffeine sounds perfect actually. Though the coffee at the office is excellent, you’ve grown to like this small place nearby, a family owned business that offers the best you’ve ever had.

You grab your bag from your office and head out for a quick coffee run. The walk to the café is freshening, the weather has been treating you well lately, the Sun is beaming and you can only hope you won’t wake up to pouring rain the next morning.

You think back to how lost you were feeling just a year ago, when all of this around you were so new and a little too much at once. One month into your time in London you even thought about quitting and moving back home. You felt alone and broken, yearning after everything you left behind. Your friends, family, loved ones, everything that was so far away from you.

It took you long weeks, even months to get used to your new life and now you can’t even imagine yourself anywhere else. It doesn’t miss you don’t miss terribly the life you had still, but now you have a lot to be happy about here as well.

Waiting at a crossroad, you find yourself twirling around the strawberry ring on your finger, your thumb fidgeting with it like every time you think about your home. You glance down at it and take a deep breath before the lamp turns green and you continue your walk to the café.

It’s not rush hours so there are only a few people lingering around the small place. You don’t have to think about what you are getting, James, the barista already knows your usual and starts making it right away as you swipe your card paying your drink.

You stand at the side, waiting for your coffee, staring out the window, watching people pass by on this lovely afternoon. Your gaze stops on an old lady sitting on a nearby bench, feeding a group of pigeons and you smile as a little girl runs through the birds, making them fly away instantly. The old lady just smiles at the girl, not holding a grudge that she just scared the birds away.

Your eyes move away, watching businessmen come and go, kids going home from school, wearing their school uniforms, everything just feels so… peaceful.

You are almost about to turn away from the window when your gaze falls on a tall figure near the Sainsbury’s across the road and your lips part as you catch a glimpse of a tattooed arm you know all too well. You blink once, twice, three times, waiting for your eyes to make sure it’s the person you think it is.

Harry is standing right there, holding a little bag of groceries, eyes glued to the screen of his phone, oblivious to your shocked gaze on him. Your feet move before your brain could think it through, they take you out of the café and you stand in the middle of the sidewalk as you call out for him.

“Harry!”

His head snaps up at his name, eyes looking around, searching for the source before they finally find you, a shocked, but seemingly joyful expression plastering over his handsome face. He is quick to shove his phone into his pocket before he watches both ways and runs across the road to meet you on the other side. You can’t push your smile down as you watch him approach you, his tall, fit figure getting closer and closer until he is standing right in front of you, watching you in awe.

“Hey,” he breathes out, both of you a little unsure of what to do, how to greet each other.

It’s been months since you last talked. After your departure you kept in contact, you couldn’t just distance yourself from him so abruptly, but the thousands of miles between the two of you made it almost impossible to maintain a working connection, the time zones, all the work you both were buried under and just life itself made you drift away from each other.

But he is now standing in front of you and though he looks slightly different, he is still the Harry you know and love. He is your Harry.

“What… what are you doing here?” you ask, finally finding your voice.

“Did you forget I’m British?” you teases you and you roll your eyes.

“I mean, are you visiting family or something?”

“I uhh…” he glances down at his feet before his eyes meet yours again. “I’m actually back.”

“What do you mean?”

“My contract ended in July and I didn’t… I didn’t extend it. I came back a few weeks ago.”

Your lips part at the information. Harry is in London, he is now in the same city as you, for the first time in a whole year.

“Really? That’s… wow.” There’s too much you want to tell and ask him, yet you stand there, blinking at him, still lost in the feeling of seeing him for the first time again.

“I actually wanted to contact you when I got back, but I wasn’t… I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about that,” he admits with a nervous chuckle and your eyes soften over him.

“What do you mean? I would have loved it if you called.”

“It’s just that we haven’t talked in a while and I didn’t know… I didn’t know where you’re standing about me.”

“Well, seems like fate did it for you,” you smile at him warmly. “I would love to catch up. I have to head back to work now, but maybe later?”

“What about after work? When are you getting off?”

“I finish at 5.”

“I can meet you at your work if you text me the address.”

“That would be great,” you nod smiling. “My number is still the same, so you’ll know it’s me.”

“Great,” he nods, the corners of his mouth curling up in a boyish smirk. You are just now realizing how much you’ve missed him.

“I, um…” You’re trying to find the right words, still feeling overwhelmed about the sudden run-in, but at last you decide to go for a hug.

Your arms wrap around his waist, he hesitates for a moment before wrapping you in his tight embrace, pressing his cheek against the top of your head. A shiver runs down your spine as the sense of home washes over you all at once, the warmth of Harry’s body making your heart flutter. Unfortunately, the moment must come to an end. His arms fall from around you, just like they did at the airport when you said goodbye to each other over a year ago.

“I’ll… see you later then,” he smiles as you are backing towards the entrance of the café.

“Yeah, later,” you nod and turning around you walk inside.

Arriving back to the office you drop by Jasmine’s office to tell her that you have to postpone your plans after work.

“What is more important than getting drunk with me?” she gasps dramatically.

“I ran into… I met Harry,” you tell her. You told her all about Harry one evening when you were out, just a few months into your stay. It was one of those days when you were feeling extremely homesick, or maybe you just missed him terribly.

“What? Your professor ex?” she asks with widened eyes.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, you are forgiven. Go and get the man back!”

“What?” you chuckle. “We just met after a year, how do you know I want him back? Maybe I just want to catch up with him,” you say, but it’s an obvious and blatant lie and you both know that. Jasmine gives you a look.

“Please, you are still so obviously in love with the man, don’t even try to convince me otherwise.”

You don’t protest, just bite into your bottom lip. You really are in love with him, or the version you knew a year ago. He could be an entirely different person now so you can’t be sure if your feelings are the same about the man you met today.

“Have fun with him and then tell me all about it after, okay?” she beams and you just nod, leaving her to finish her work.

As time is slowly passing by you find yourself growing nervous about seeing Harry. That short little conversation on the street was not enough to calm your nerves. What is he like now? Is he the same? Does he have new hobbies? Is he as happy to see you as you are to see him? What will he think of you? What if he doesn’t like you after all this time?

You try to push the questions to the back of your mind, not wanting to overwhelm yourself too much to the point where you chicken out of seeing him. When you’re on your way down following his text that he is waiting for you in front of the building, you are trying to keep yourself together and remind yourself that it’s just Harry, he might be a little different, but he is still kind of the same.

Luckily, the moment you spot him waiting a few feet away from the entrance, you forget about everything else, he is the only one to exist. He envelopes you in a hug when you arrive, smiling at you warmly.

“Hi, ready to go?” he kindly asks and you nod.

You settle for a nearby bar you’ve actually been to with Jasmine before. Harry insists on paying for the first round of drinks as the two of you settle in a secluded booth at the back. When he is standing at the bar you catch yourself watching him in awe. The situation is quite odd, could have never happened probably back home, the two of you casually out for a drink.

“What’s gotten you so smiley?” he asks upon returning, sitting across you.

“I was just thinking how this is the first time we are out, just the two of us.”

Harry smiles softly, probably appreciating it just the same.

The next couple of hours you both try to share anything and everything that has happened in the past year. He tells you about his last year as a professor and him not extending his contact. Coming back to London he has joined a research group for a marketing company, using his excellent knowledge to analyze human behavior in connection with different type of ads.

“It’s a lot different from being a college professor ain’t it?” you tease him and he nods chuckling.

“Guess I wanted some change. But it’s been nice, I enjoy doing a lot of research and experiments.”

Then you tell him about your time as a forensic document examiner, all the different cases you worked on and how it has been, living in London on your own. He listens to your tales about everything you’ve done with Jasmine, the concerts and karaoke bars you’ve been to and just generally your life overseas.

“Sounds like you’ve found your place, then,” he says smiling softly.

“I guess. Wasn’t an easy transition, but I’m feeling good now,” you nod. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss my past,” you add.

His eyes wander down to your hands that are fidgeting with your almost empty glass. You see how they stop over the ring and he seems surprised as he reaches out, takes your hand in his and runs his thumb over the little strawberries.

“You’re still wearing the ring,” he states.

“Of course,” you smile and when he is about to let go of your hand, you grab it and hold it, needing to feel his touch.

You wanted to run back home so many times because you were missing him too badly, missed his voice, his eyes, his touch, everything and now, out of nowhere, he is here with you again, far away from the place where it all started and had to end for a while, still making you feel like home, no matter where you are.

At one point, you move to sit beside him in the booth. You just keep sharing and sharing even things you’ve talked about on the phone before. You’re just soaking each other in. His arm soon moves around your shoulders and you gladly lean into his side, placing a hand to his thigh, sparkles running through your body.

“I love this,” you hum to yourself upon finishing your last drink.

“Love what?”

“Being out with you without a worry. I always dreamt of this and it’s just… so natural. I wish we got to experience it before.”

“As you said, that was a wrong time and place. Wasn’t our fault.”

You lift your head, eyes meeting his curious green irises as he smiles down at you kindly. You’ve missed that smile, it still makes your heart skip a beat, just like at the beginning.

“And do you think it’s the right time and place now?” you prompt the question.

“It’s definitely… better,” he chuckles softly. “Unless you are seeing someone, because now would be the best time to tell me.”

“I’m not,” you shake your head smirking. “Tried to go on dates, but truth is… none of them were you. I gave up after a few terrible attempts.”

“I didn’t even try,” he shyly smiles. “I just… knew no one would make me as happy as you did. As you always do.”

Pushing yourself up a bit, you rest your forehead against his as he closes his eyes, his arm around your shoulder tightens and his other hand rests on your thigh, pulling you closer. Your palm slides up his chest and neck until you’re cupping his cheek. You place a soft lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth, testing the waters out, seeing how he reacts though nothing that happened tonight tells you he wants to keep his distance.

He moves his face, nose nudging against you before his lips find yours in a kiss you’ve been longing for since you left him behind at the airport over a year ago. Your fingers lace through his hair, pulling him towards you as if he could escape from your hold any moment, but he is definitely here to stay. Your lips clash again and again, savoring each other, eagerly trying to make up for the time you lost since your departure. You melt into his arms, moving your legs across his lap as he pulls you to his lap in the booth, partially hidden from the rest of the bar, wrapped up in your little bubble. He tastes like home, his kisses feel like the first warm rays of sunshine after a long and cold winter, the only thing you couldn’t really get yourself over this whole year. Because you’ve become good at pushing your feelings down to the point where you could easily carry on, but he was always in the corner of your mind, making you wonder if you’ll ever meet again and if you do, will it be the same as before?

It’s not, because it’s better. The burdens and banters that tied you both down a year ago are now long gone, you have all the time and space in the world, nothing is restricting you. You can touch him and kiss him whenever and wherever you want. There’s no more sneaking around, no one here knows who you are and who Harry used to me to you. Here, you’re just another lovesick couple, so into each other it’s almost insane.

When he pulls back his forehead stays rested against yours as you both are trying to catch your breath. His hand runs up and down your thigh, the warmth of his palm melting your body under his soft touch.

“I love you,” he breathes out, eyes meeting yours.

“You still do?” you ask with a small smile, heart beating in your throat.

“I never stopped loving you,” he admits and you let out a shaky breath, pulling him down for a short kiss.

“Not even when I was an ocean away from you?”

“No,” he chuckles shaking his head. “If that’s possible, I loved you even more when you were away. I realized how much you mean to me and I could only hope you weren’t moving on without me.”

“I could never,” you smile at him softly. “I love you too much to do that.”

“You have no idea how much I missed you say that,” he breathes out with a soft chuckle and you kiss his lips shortly, assuring him that you feel the same way. “So… are we going to try again?”

“Do you want to?”

“There’s nothing I want more, baby,” he truthfully admits, his gaze softening at you as he brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Do you want to?”

“Of course,” you smile at him widely. “I think it’s settled.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[mxpseudonym]

Just Good Business III

Pairing: Tommy x Reader

Reader Gender Expression: She/Her pronouns, “wife”

Summary: Reminding Tommy that he didn’t marry a fool was the greatest thing to happen to your bedroom.

Length: 1650 words (allegedly)

Warnings: 18+, sex, hints of rough sex, cursing, and as usual, underlying tones of forced/arranged marriage

A/N: There’s a forehead kiss and a sprinkling of Dom!Tommy in here for your patience! I am pretty sure I’m going to have this be a total of five parts. Part IV may not come right away because I’m in the middle of a WIP though.

Part I | Part II | Part IV

Reminding Tommy that he hadn't married a fool set several things in motion. First and foremost, you and Polly managed to successfully persuade your husband into conducting family business, not that it was hard. You knew London quite well, and one glance at the Eden Club's books had you asking Arthur if he could count to ten. Much of the above-board dealings in London were now your responsibility- properties, charities, and a social life that allowed you to see your friends more often.

Unfortunately, this meant regularly making the trip to Birmingham for the family meetings you'd been avoiding. It wasn't so much the meetings as it was Birmingham itself. One has no great hopes of Birmingham, as they say. However, there was a significant consolation that made it all worth it. 

Tommy Shelby, in action, turned you on. 

Actually, it was one of many things about Tommy that turned you on. With Tommy's guilt out of the way, you saw him around the house more. He came to bed, albeit late, nearly every night, and you got at least two breakfasts out of him a week. Along with finding that Tommy was much funnier than he let on when he wasn't talking about work, you also noticed that you had much in common. Tommy was as stubborn and prideful as you were. After six months, you still credited happenings between you with a desire to conduct good business- and business was excellent. Stubbornness, pride, your appetite for adventure, and Tommy's addiction to risk resulted in one shameless, exciting sex life.

You'd had partners before. Why deny yourself the world's physical pleasures? But while none could keep up with your desire to find and push boundaries, Tommy had mastered it. You thought you'd have to ease him into it, but it really just took you asking, "What are you going to do, Thomas? Spank me?" while bickering to get you on the same page. 

Not that Tommy wasn't enjoying himself as well. He'd met his match in his back talking, neck biting, hair pulling new wife he could hardly bring himself to say no to. What was coming to work late more often or your hands down his trousers while driving the Bentley in the grand scheme of things? 

So at the Birmingham family meetings, there was something about the way he was no-nonsense when he firmly told you where to sit and give updates when asked. If you were both being honest, while you loved taking orders from Tommy in the bedroom sometimes, you were on the fast track to giving them too. For now, you watched with thighs pressed together, and bottom lip pulled between teeth as he commanded the room. 

After Arthur wrapped up the meeting, you'd meant to mingle with your sister in law, but were quickly distracted. Ada didn't need to follow your gaze to know what was stopping you from listening to a word she said. 

"Good god, stop staring at my brother like that," Ada pleaded. You looked at her only long enough to say, 

"I almost wish I could say I was sorry." You had just caught Tommy's eye and smiled. "He can be quite good looking." 

"Ugh, okay, he's coming over here. I'm going to find Finn," Ada scoffed, then all but ran away only to have Tommy replace her.  

"Can I help you?" he asked, amusement evident in his voice. You chuckled and looked up at him.  

"You're already spoiling me, Mr. Shelby. What more could I ask for?" 

"I'm sure you have a list," Tommy said. You plucked his cigarette from between his fingers and took a pull.  

"As a matter of fact, I do."

"Should I make you beg for it?" 

"I don't beg," you said, defiant as ever. Tommy rolled his eyes but moved closer. You could feel the warmth of his wool suit, and it matched the heat that was rising to your cheeks. 

"Then what do you call what you were doing the other day in my office?" Tommy asked. You thought for a moment then smirked. 

"Minding my manners. Please and thank you, Sir," you said, making him laugh. 

"Oi, stop flirting on come on," John yelled in partial disgust from where the family was gathering near the door. 

"Yeah, yeah, we're coming," you shooed him. You gave Tommy a knowing look as you grabbed your bag to join the group at the Garrison. 

"Gonna tell me not to get any ideas?" He asked. 

"Of course not. Get as many ideas as you can from here to that pub." You pointed a stern finger at him. 

"Yes, ma'am." 

Tommy had long given up trying to get a grasp on what to expect from you. 

"God only knows what's going on up there," he'd say while tapping your temple. 

But nothing surprised him more than your absolute willingness to have him any time, anywhere. 

"Skirts hike up for a reason, Thomas," You once told him in the stables. Tommy had yet to find a good enough argument against that, so here you were, shushing him through breathy laughs as he almost tumbled into you. 

It was a busy night at the Garrison, and it wasn't hard to leave your group to find the back room. Now you were pressed up against a shelf that wasn't nearly sturdy enough. Tommy's pants were unbuckled in a hasty moment, and your knickers were pulled aside, and you were both stifling your moans. 

"Oh god, fuck, Tommy, how do you always feel so good?" You asked, your grip already in his hair. He groaned at the question and thrust deeper.  

"You're the one always warm and wet for me, aren't you?" He squeezed the flesh of your bottom, making you moan. He quickly relocated you further into the dark and onto a crate. "Such a naughty little thing I've got on my hands."  

"Just the way you like it." You bit his ear as you played with fire. His thrusts got hard and deep, earning more high pitched moans from you until he pressed a hand over your mouth. He kept his grip firm, just how you liked and spoke in your ear. 

"I'm giving you what you asked for with all of these people just out there. Do you want them to hear you?" He leaned back to see you nod. Of course, you did. Tommy shook his head as he chuckled. By the sound of your yearning moan, he just knew you were pouting beneath his palm.

"I know love, but when we get home, you can be as loud as you want. You can let the maids hear you, what was it? Minding your manners for me. How's that sound?" You accepted his counteroffer with a nod and was rewarded with Tommy moving his hand. He relished in the smeared lipstick that was now on your chin before adjusting his grip on you. 

"Now, be good, and stay quiet for me." 

Tommy had to give you credit for carrying out your version of quiet. You forfeited your usual words of encouragement and panted hotly in his ears, a whimper or moan periodically coming forth.  

"Tom," You pleaded his name under your breath. His grip tightened around your waist, and you knew it would bruise, which only shoved you that much closer to the edge.  

"That's a good girl," he praised you, knowing what it did to you. In this case, it made your thighs tighten around him. "So good, you can tell me where you want it. Should I make you walk around with me all over your face?" 

He felt you shiver and swallow a moan that came out like a sob. His thumb reached between them, and it only took a few circles of your clit to send you over. 

"Oh fuck," You bucked against him as you came. Tommy's eyes squeezed close while you kissed his neck. It was truly incredible, you had to admit. You knew he was close and you had to decide. "In me."

"In you?" He repeated, not fully registering anything as he got closer. 

"I want you in me, Tom. Please," you said again. You kissed him, then pulled back to look in his eyes. "I'm begging you." 

You loved watching him come undone. Even in the low light, you took in his parted lips, creased brow, and flushed cheeks. He rested his forehead against yours for a moment before you pulled away and began putting yourselves back together.  

"I'm excited to go home if you keep your word," you said, leaning against the crate while Tommy pulled out a cigarette. 

You quietly smoked and thought about how strange this was. Before it was sprung on you, being married was something you hadn't expected anytime soon. Being married to someone you actually enjoyed was a fate every woman you knew hoped for but knew not to anticipate. And here you were with both a marriage and an enjoyable husband. 

"What's wrong?" Tommy asked, tossing away his cigarette. He brought his hand up to stroke your cheek, but you caught it and observed the silver band around his finger instead, running your thumb over the metal. 

"Do you like this?" Your eyes lifted to meet his. "The ring?" 

The ring, the marriage, what was the difference? He smirked then turned his hand, interlacing your fingers. 

"So much that I think there must have been a mix up of fortune. A better man should have it, maybe." He said, then kissed your forehead and started towards the door. "Come now, I think I'll let you walk around with me dripping out of you for at least a half-hour."

"I may just have to give you a proper thank you on the ride home then, Sir." 

Tommy expertly ignored questions about his whereabouts from his brothers and knowing looks from his sister, all while holding your hand. You smiled to yourself and thought, 

I have a crush on you, Tommy Shelby. 

--

Tommy Tag List: @soleil-dor; @amysteryspot​

JGB Series Tag List: @biba3434

[avengerscompound]

It’s You and Me - Chapter 4

It’s You and Me: A Hawkeye Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Clint Barton x  F!Reader

Word Count:  1735

Rating:  E

Warnings:  Mentions of underage sex, and mentions of past child abuse, child sexual abuse and pornography

Synopsis: You and Clint Barton go way back.  Since you joined the circus as a child, he took it upon himself to keep you away from the people who really wanted to hurt you.  For years the two of you danced a line between dark and light.

When he chooses light the two of you go your separate ways.

Fifteen years later he tracks you down.  Those feelings the two of you shared never went away, but now he is not only an Avengers but a single father.  Can the two of you make it work after all this time when your lives have gone in such different directions?

A series told in flashbacks and current day.

Chapter 4: Then

Life in the circus could move on quickly.  When Clint stopped seeing you around Jacques Duquesne, he stopped worrying about you and while he did still see you around from time-to-time, the two of you didn’t have a lot to do with each other.  Unless you were in his field of vision, he didn’t spare you much of a thought.  He had other things that occupied him anyway.

For starters, he had this general need to be the best at what he did.  He practiced archery and swordsmanship so that people would be excited to see him.  Crowds would pay money and he’d earn his place legitimately and wouldn’t be made to pickpockets or run any of the scams they had going at any one time.

There was also Eden.  He’d been dating her since you showed up and it was getting hot and heavy pretty fast.  He didn’t feel the need to be glued to her constantly but he definitely liked being with her more than not.  Though it was hard to pick out exactly what it was that drew him to her.  She knew more about him than he knew about her.  She seemed to like listening to him prattle on about any old thing that popped into his head.  She never really gave him anything back though and sometimes he did wonder if he just liked the way she made him feel.  That thought never lasted long though.  She was a hot, a good listener, and even better lay, and at seventeen there wasn’t much else he was looking for.

You showed up a few months after you arrived at the circus while Clint and Eden were making out behind the trailer he shared with his brother and a couple of the other younger guys in the troop.  You stood awkwardly looking off to the side and Eden pulled back and looked at you.

“Can we help you?”  She asked.

“I just wanted to talk to Clint,” you said, shifting awkwardly.  “Sorry.” 

Eden shrugged and got up.  “I said I’d go rehearse a new routine with Ringmaster,” she said.  “He’s all yours.”

Clint watched her leave, his eyes almost transfixed by the way her tattoos moved as she swayed her hips, and as she disappeared around the side of the big top, he turned his attention to you.  “What’s up, kid?”

“You said you could teach me some things…” you said.  “Does that offer still stand?”

Clint stood and looked around.  “Jacques said something to you?  I thought you were looking after some of the animals.”

You shrugged.  “He said that the animals were all being looked after fine before I got here, and I needed to start earning my way.”

“Right,” Clint said with a nod.  “Come on.”

You hurried after him, your legs moving twice as fast to keep up with the strides he was taking.  “I’ll have to start with the basics, so you might need to find something in the meantime.  When I was your age they made me pickpocket to pay my way and I’d already had about eight years of training,” Clint said.  “But you don’t gotta pose for any photos.  We can work out some other way you can make the money.”

“Oh yeah?” You snarked.  “How exactly?  I don’t know how to do shit.”

“Hey, I’m trying to help you here,” Clint said.  “You want it or not?”

You looked at him like you were considering changing your mind before folding your hands over your chest and nodding.

“Maybe you can be my assistant until you get better,” Clint suggested, grabbing a couple of wooden swords from the weapons case.  “I can shoot apples off your head or Twizzlers out of your mouth or something.  Maybe we can play up the fact you’re a kid.  Have you come out in a cutesy dress with a balloon and I’ll pop it.  I dunno.  I’ll think of something.”

You looked down at your feet and nodded.  “Why are you willing to help me?”

Clint tapped the end of the sword on the dirt in front of him.  “What he’s doin’ isn’t right.  You’re a kid.  You shouldn’t have to go through shit like that.  And it’s not right a bunch of pedos have your pics now to get their rocks off too,” he said.  “We’re supposed to be a family here, and I know their moral compass is really fucked, but you don’t do that to family.”

You nodded and neither of you said anything for a moment.  Clint tossed you one of the swords and you caught it easily.  Clint was thankful for that at least.  Being naturally coordinated would take you further with this than his training would on its own.  You looked up at him and offered him a small smile.  “Thanks, Clint.”

“Yeah, don’t mention it,” he said.  “Gotta get good first.”

He took a stance with the sword in front of him.  “I’ll show you a routine and then I’ll go through it slowly with you.  Then you can try it alone and I’ll correct what you’re doing wrong.”

You nodded and Clint started.

He stayed training with you until the bell for dinner was rung.  There would be a show in an hour after that so he’d have to quickly change because he was usually the opening act these days.  You had been focused hard during the training and Clint was surprised how quickly you were picking things up.  You didn’t have the routine down perfectly, but if he went through the moves slowly you could follow along with him just fine.  If you continued to improve like this, you’d be sparring within a couple of weeks.

Clint just had to figure out how to train you, think of a way to keep training you, keep his own routine fresh, work you into that routine, and have time for a personal life.  He sat down at the bench next to Barney while you went and sat with Zelda and the other animal acts.  Zelda immediately started talking to you. The two of you began talking animatedly as one of Zelda’s python’s circled its way down the snake charmer’s arm and onto the table.

Eden came out of a tent with Tiboldt, the circus’ ringmaster and leader.  After scanning the table came she came to sit with Clint.

“What were you doing with the Ringmaster?”  Clint asked, accusatory.

He had trust issues.  He knew it but found them a little hard to keep under wraps.  Jealousy was big for him - maybe a psychologist would say it had to do with his father’s abuse and the fact he bounced around foster care, making him think himself unworthy of love - but Clint had never been to see one, so all he knew for sure was he didn’t trust Eden not to run around on him.

“Working,” Eden said simply and ran her hand down Clint’s spine.  “You jealous, baby?”

“No,” Clint huffed, and Barney began laughing.

“Sure you aren’t,” his brother taunted.

“You don’t have anything to worry about, Clint,” Eden assured him.  “I only have eyes for you, and no one is allowed to touch me except you.”

Clint looked at her, his eyes traveling up the tattoos on her neck to her perfect face, framed by her long dark curls.  She leaned in and teased her lips over his and he pushed forward, capturing them and kissing her passionately.  Barney made a gagging sound beside him.

“Get a room would you?”  He teased.

Clint pulled back and pulled a face at his brother.  “Would if I could.”

Eden laughed softly and turned Clint’s face to hers again.  “Don’t be jealous.”

“I wasn’t,” Clint lied.

“What did the kid want?”  She said.

Clint looked over to you.  You were laughing but there was something about the way you held yourself that told him you were still on edge and ready to fight if you needed to.  He didn’t trust Jacques, and he didn’t trust Eden to keep the secret well enough to stop it from getting back to Jacques.  If Jacques found out that Clint was training you, not only would you end up having to pose for photos to keep your spot in the circus, but Clint would be in a world of trouble too.  Jacques had once promised Clint he’d never beat him, and while it had never happened, there were times where Clint was sure it was a close call.  “Just had an idea about doing a routine with me,” Clint said.  “I think she wants to get out from behind the scenes?”

“Her?”  Eden asked, looking over at you.  “What talents does that little shit shoveler have that she can possibly make your act any better?”

“Just being my target,” Clint said.  “You know, the girl on the board.  She’s small enough, it’d work.”

“I could do that for you,” Eden said, running a long nail along his jawline.  “Imagine that?  The two of us sharing an act?”

“If you were part of my act no one would be looking at me,” Clint said.  “Besides, you know Tiboldt wouldn’t agree to that.”

She wrinkled her nose.  “I suppose you’re right.  And I suppose it’s good the little brat should start earning her keep.”

“Yeah,” Clint said with a frown.  “It’ll be fine.  All she has to do is not be shot by me and that’s mostly on me.”

“And you and I both know how good you are at hitting the right spot,” Eden teased.

“Seriously, you two,” Barney said, grimacing.  “I’m trying to eat.”

Clint smiled but it was a distracted smile.  One he wore to cover up the turmoil of his thoughts.  He’d learned a lot of things while at the circus, and among them was if he played friendly and dumb - people underestimated him.  He got up and wiped his hands.  “Better go get ready for the curtain call.  See you in a bit.”

Eden looked up at him startled.  “Okay, baby.  See you then.”

Clint scowled as he wandered off.  Most of the time he was just used to how fucked up everything was here because it was his normal, and much less fucked up than what he came from.  Then there were times like this where it hit him like a truck and he wondered if he’d ever really get free of it.

// NEXT

[aaronhart93-archive]

maybe baby || aaron & eden

Discord thread featuring: Aaron & @wtf-eden

When: November 11, 2020

Where: aaron’s pent

mentions: @masondawson @alison-haynes (briefly @romanbeckett )

Description: eden tells aaron that she thinks she is pregnant and talks to aaron about how she is feeling about it, she spends the night in the guest room because she does not want to go back to mason’s

Trigger Warnings: abortion mentions, pregnancy 

Eden. 

Eden was thankful that Aaron texted back that he was home. She knew she should have gone home, talked to Mason, but really he was the last person she wanted to talk to right now. The pregnancy test that she had taken had read positive and Eden felt a strong sense of deja vu from when she was twenty three and found out she was pregnant. That was a pregnancy that she chose not to go through with, and very few people knew about that -- one included Aaron, another was Mason. Other than that, that was a secret that broke her family, not that it was ever whole to start with. As Eden got up to the penthouse, she pushed the door to the familiar home open. She was trying to hold it together, though all she really wanted was to scream, punch a wall, and cry. She really wanted to cry. Eden walked up down to the living room, "Hey, sorry to just drop in." It wasn't that she had, she texted she was coming, but it was a bit on the late side.

Aaron

Aaron had been agitated all weekend. He was worried about Roman, and annoyed that he wasn’t really even answering his texts. Des was really the only person keeping from from going mad or doing something stupid. Edens text was kind of alarming to say the least, so he was quick to tell her to come over. It was late, and Des was already in bed before he opened the door. He peered down at her and furrowed his brow. She looked...distressed. “It’s okay. You’re welcome here whenever.” He stepped aside to let her in. “It’s nice to have adult company anyway.” He tried to muster a tiny chuckle. “Is everything okay?” He asked, pushing his glasses up his nose as he faced her.

Eden.

Eden wasn’t really sure why she thought going to Aaron’s would make things better. Nothing was going to be better, that was for sure. But either way, seeing her friend gave her a small bit of happiness inside. “Thanks,” the brunette said, setting her purse down on the shelf nearby. As much as Eden wanted to hold it together, and usually she could, the second he asked if she was okay, she felt tears build in her eyes. She shook her head quickly, “No, I’m not okay.” She admitted.

Aaron

Aaron could immediately sense the tension in the room when she squeaked out a tiny thanks. “Okay okay.” He tried to calm her down. What could possibly be making her so upset. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and lead her over to the living room and sat her down in the couch. It was scary seeing Eden like this. So many scenarios were swirling around in his head. But mason was the first thing that came to mind. Sitting down next to her, he putt his hand on her shoulder and spoke “Did mason do something?” He asked, honestly terrified of the answer.

Eden.

Eden was damn good at hiding her emotions, and if she was upset usually she showed it through anger, not so much crying. But she wasn’t sure if she was even allowed to be angry over this. Eden took the seat on the couch beside her friend — her best friend. Earlier this year, Aaron would have been the last person Eden wanted to speak to about this- but now she needed the kind of friendship he offered. “Y-Yeah.” She said to his question. But had Mason really done anything? They both consented to the sex that led to this, it wasn’t really his fault. Even if Eden wanted to blame him. “He — I— he— fuck.” Eden said, rubbing her face for just a moment. “I think I’m pregnant, Aaron.”

Aaron

Okay. When Eden told Aaron that mason did do something. His literal first thought was how much he actually wanted to beat the shit out of him. Go to his apartment and just sock him right in the face. He knew, of course, Mason would end up winning that fight just based on the fact that he was so much more athletic and fit than Aaron, but that wasn’t going to stop him. Aaron’s eyes were wide as he waited for Eden to tell Aaron what her boyfriend had done. The words that came out of her mouth were surprising, but his shoulder softened just a little bit. He was expecting far worse. Still, he knew what Eden was thinking. He knew she was thinking back to her abortion, how she wasn’t sure if she’d make a good mom, and probably ten thousand other things that Aaron thought when he found out he was having Des. “Oh shit.” He sighed, starting to rub her shoulder lightly. “Did you take a test?” Dumbass. Of course she took a test. “I mean, how many did you take?” He corrected himself.

Eden.

Eden knew that Mason didn't actually do anything wrong. But, she wanted to give the blame to someone, and not to herself. They were both equally guilty in this, hell it took two to tango afterall. Eden didn't feel like she could be a mom, she wasn't even sure she wanted to be a mother, but now she had to make this decision again for the second time in her life. A small part of her regretted the abortion the first time, but the other part of her knew she hadn't been ready to have a child when she was in her young twenties, hell she wasn't even sure she was ready to have a child now at 26. "I took one," Eden said, with a nod. She knew typically woman should take at least two to confirm they were pregnant, but Eden didn't want to go buy another test. She really just needed to talk to someone. "Only one, but it makes sense. I missed my period, and I was nauseous a lot, I thought I had the flu." Eden reminded him.

Aaron

Aaron slumped back on the couch, hand still resting on her shoulder. He was just digesting everything f that Eden had just told him. It was a lot. For sure. And he wasn’t sure how Eden was taking all of it. He had so many questions for her. What was she gonna do? The baby was mason’s, right? Or did she sleep with someone before they got back together. That was awful of Aaron to think but, of course, it crossed his mind. “Oh.” Aaron mumbled, looking straight ahead toward his humongous tv. After a quick beat, he took a deep breath and turned to her. There were a ton of questions Aaron could have asked, but he knew he needed to check in on her first. “Are you okay?” He asked softly.

Eden.

Eden wasn't sure what she wanted to do. She didn't think she could be a mother, nor did she even know if she ever wanted to have a child. Yet now a child was growing inside of her and she had to make a choice on whether or not to carry that child to term. She knew Mason wanted kids, and he'd probably hate her if she had another abortion. But, Eden didn't feel prepared to take on this challenge, not one bit. She shook her head slowly, "No," she squeaked. "I don't know what the hell I'm going to do, Aaron." Eden brought her hands to her face, hiding her face in shame. "Is it terrible of me to even think of termination without telling Mason?" She asked. She knew it was, he had the right to know about it. But, she couldn't not think it.

Aaron.

Once again, Aaron kind of just sat back and took an exacerbated deep breath. He scratched his head a little, again, racking his brain for the right thing to say. "It wouldn't be terrible, no." He told her. It was her body and she could do whatever she wanted to do. She was still distraught, that was clear. So Aaron wrapped a comforting arm around her and brought her in for a little side hug, rubbing her arm in an attempt to comfort her. She was probably absolutely terrified. Then, it hit him. She had told Aaron before she had told Mason about this. Why did that give him a selfish sense of satisfaction?  "How far along do you think you are? Should I run out and grab a couple more for you? You didn't get the one from the dollar store did you?" He asked, actually trying to make a little bit of a joke.

Eden.

Eden felt like it would be terrible, Mason wanted kids. She knew that, even if he said he would be fine with never having them if it meant he got to be with her. "But he wants kids. God, what the fuck am I doing? Maybe I should just break up with him, so he can be with someone who can give him what he wants." Eden mentioned. Eden cared about Mason, she did. But when it came to having a family, she was sure the two of them were on completely different wavelengths about it. There also had always been a part of her who regretted terminating her first pregnancy, and maybe the guilt would be bigger this time around, as at least she knew who the father was of this child. Eden shook her head, "I can't be too far. Not even a couple months? Maybe five, six weeks along?" She asked, and a small weak smile appeared at his joke. "No, I got one at CVS." She told him.

Aaron

Aaron sighed. "No one expects you to know what you want right away. You just....have to think about what you want first. Take him out of the equation completely and think about what you want and what you can handle." Lord knows Aaron could barely handle Des at first and he had the support of his mom and his aunt...and millions of dollars at the time. "I can get you another one if you want. Just to make sure. Des is here though so you'd just have to watch her while I'm gone. She's sleeping though so she shouldn't be any trouble. Whatever you want. But...have you talked to Mason about this yet?" He raise a curious brow. "When did you find out?"

Eden.

Aaron was right. Eden had to figure out what she wanted before doing anything else. But, there was so much to think about. Eden wasn’t sure she ever wanted to have kids, and now she had a small amount of time to decide if she wanted this child. “I want to go back to school. I want to have a career. I don’t even know if I ever want kids. I don’t know how to be a parent.” She was sure most people thought that when they were about to have their first child, but she didn’t have the best parents for any sort of guidance or support. “Yeah, maybe I should take a second one.” She agreed. Eden took a deep breath, glancing over at him. “No. I haven’t talked to him yet. I— when I texted you I had just taken the test. I don’t know how to talk to Mason about this.”

Aaron

Aaron frowned, and his heart literally hurt for her. Aaron knew how important going back to school and having a career was to Eden. She was so independent, smart and ambitious. So of course she was going to kick ass in medical school. Aaron pressed his lips together and took a deep breath, nodding when she told him she wanted to take another. He was felt some sort of ugly pride that Eden has told her ex boyfriend before her actually boyfriend. “Okay...” he stood up and put the kettle on to make her some tea. He grabbed several teas from her to pic from and got her out some milk and sugar. “Help yourself. Listen for Des. I’ll be right right.” Before she even had the chance to respond, Aaron was already out the door, walking to the nearest pharmacy, and buy four more pregnancy tests. The man behind counter gave him a sympathetic look. If only he knew. He rushed back in no time and gave her one of the tests. “Okay, pee.”

Eden.

Eden wasn’t sure how to take this information. Maybe it was a false negative, and Eden was overreacting for nothing. Eden hoped that was the case. When Aaron returned, she could pee on another stick and it would be negative. Aaron wasn’t gone for all that long, and Eden sat in his kitchen sipping at the tea. “Thank you,” Eden took the test from him, going down to the bathroom and peeing on yet another stick. Eden pulled the door open while waiting the results, “What were your initial thoughts when you found out Alison was pregnant with Destiny?” She asked. Eden picked the stick up, seeing yet another two pink lines. “Shit”. She mumbled.

Aaron

Aaron made himself some tea of his own while Eden went to go take the test. He was nervous for his friend, but — if she chose to raise the baby — he would be so excited for her. Aaron didn’t ever think he’d understand “the joys of parenthood” until he was actually enjoying them. He leaned with his back against the wall while she peed on the stick and turned to face her when she opened the door. “I was terrified.” He told her honestly. “Then I told her I’d pay for the abortion. Thank god refused or else I wouldn’t have Des today.” He hated even thinking about that but it was true. He peered over at the test and took a sip of his tea. “Are you gonna tell Mason?” He asked quietly. he could feel the tension she was giving off.

Eden.

Eden was a bit relieved upon hearing that Aaron's first thought had also been for Alison to have an abortion. Eden felt like she was the only person in the world, who just didn't want a child. "What was it like?" Eden asked, stepping out of the bathroom to join him in the hallway. "When she told you she wouldn't have the abortion? And then when Destiny was born? Were you still terrified when she was born?" Eden knew this was a decision she didn't have much time to make, and she had to figure it out as soon as possible. Aaron was one of the only people she knew who already had a kid, and a great kid at that. She took a deep breath, "If I tell him, he's going to want to keep the baby. He wants children, and I don't know what I want. But --," Eden bit her lip, "There is still days that I regret terminating my first pregnancy." She admitted. She was sure most of that regret was from her parents disowning her and not so much the abortion though. "Will I feel like the worst person ever if I terminate yet another child?"

Aaron

It made sense that that Eden had so many questions for him. Aaron knew that the best he could do for her right now was to be honest. He leaned his back against the wall to face her abs crossed his arms over his chest. “I mean... it was what it was. I couldn’t force her to have one and I wasn’t going to be an absent parent. I thought about dipping several times while she was pregnant. And... I swear... I know this sound cliche, but I fell in love with her the first time I held her. And I couldn’t even believe I’d thought of termination and running away. She made my life so much better. But it was hard, Eden. Even with nannies, my mom and my aunt around 24/7 to help me.” He told her. He shrugged. “Maybe this is like your second chance. But...no you wouldn’t be terrible if you had another abortion. You could have 100 abortions and you wouldn’t be terrible.” He gave her a tiny smile.

Eden.

Eden was glad to have a friend like Aaron, someone who wasn't afraid to be open and honest with her in a time like this because she needed to hear all of this. "Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if Alison did have an abortion?" She asked. She knew it was a brutal question, but it was something she asked herself all the time. What would her life be like now if she hadn't had an abortion all those years ago. Upon hearing how hard it was, Eden nodded slowly. "Which is what scares me so much. I'm about to go back to school -- and Mason is in the military. He can be deployed at anytime. I don't have a mom or an aunt who can be around 24/7, and I couldn't afford even like -- half a nanny. I feel like if I go through with this pregnancy, that I'll struggle." She admitted to him. Eden took a deep breath, looking to her friend. "Thanks, Aaron. I just -- I never thought I wanted to be a parent. The first time I got pregnant, it was an easy decision to terminate. This time -- I don't know. Part of me is saying to not do it. And Mason -- he'd be a great parent, I'm sure of it. But we're not ready to be parents. I don't think."

Aaron

Aaron nodded slowly. Because yes. He thought all the time about where he’d be, the person he’d be if he didn’t have destiny around to keep him in check. “Yeah. I do. And honestly...my life would be worse. I know it would.” He told her. He hated thinking about it, but he often found himself doing so. Especially during the most precious moments with Destiny. Aaron listened  to Eden carefully. “Okay. First of all. You’d be an amazing parent too, Eden.” He told her. “Second of all.” He took a deep breath, almost hesitant to say what he was going to say next. “It kind of sounds like you have your mind made up.” He pressed his lips together after he spoke.

Eden.

Eden nodded at his answer. She had seen it first hand, how Aaron lit up when his daughter was around. No one in their right mind could ever say that Aaron didn't love his kid. And even before she met Destiny, she heard about his daughter all the time. Eden couldn't imagine who Aaron would be without his daughter. Eden looked at him, sadness in her eyes, "I don't know that I would, Aaron. I didn't have the best examples when it comes to my own parents. I don't think I'm very good with kids," Eden hadn't spent a whole ton of time around kids in the past few years. Lately, she had been spending time with Destiny, but she didn't realize that she was really great with her. Eden bit down on her lip, "It does?" She asked, because really Eden had no idea what she wanted. Did she want to be a parent? Part of her did. Did she want to terminate? Another part wanted that too. "Well, can you tell me what my mind has made up then?" She asked.

Aaron

Aaron gave her a friendly pushed on the shoulder and gave her a smirk. “Hey. Are you telling me I’m not a good example of a good parent?” He joked, trying to get a laugh out of her.  She was right though. But, Aaron did also have the best influence growing up either. He sighed before answering her question and lead her back to the living room, grabbing them each another cup of tea on the way there. He sat them down and took a deep breath before speaking again. “What I’m hearing is that you’re not ready for kid.” He sighed. “But I wasn’t either. And honestly...you know that I love my dad, but you also know that he wasn’t the greatest dad. I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but I think I’m doing a pretty good job despite the fact that I didn’t have the best influence either. And you have plenty of good parents here in Kingsboro that will help you that I didn’t have.” He said. “There’s even a secret parents club you can join.” He chuckled, nudging her.

Eden.

A soft smile appeared on Eden's lips, "That is not what I meant and you know that." Eden said. "I think you are an excellent parent." She promised. Eden followed him down to the other room and gratefully accepted the cup of tea he handed her. "You are doing a really good job." Anytime Eden saw Aaron with his daughter she thought that. Was anyone really ever ready for a kid? She wasn't too sure. "A secret parents club?" She asked, a small laugh escaping her lips. The brunette felt hopeful, even just a little bit. "I don't feel ready to have a child. But deep down inside there is something telling me to not give this child up this time." Eden admitted quietly. "I just don't want to fuck up with them, like my parents did with me."

Aaron

“Thank you.” That meant so much to him. Aaron shook his head. “You’re not going to fuck up. And you’re amazing even though your parents fucked up big time. We don’t always turn into our parents. I turned out slightly better than my dad and a lot worse than my mom.” He shrugged, chuckling along with her lightly. He was only half kidding. Aaron honestly believed that Eden would make a great parent. There was no doubt about that. She knew how much Eden would love being a mother, but also knew how great of a doctor Eden would make. She had a lot of thinking to do and Aaron knew that her decision wasn’t going to happy tonight though. “You don’t have to decide now. Soon. But you have a few more weeks to think about it.” He reminded her. Then a Pulled her into her shoulder for another hug.

Eden.

There was still so many thoughts swirling around in Eden's head. There were reasons why Eden would want to terminate the pregnancy, but the pro list for reasons on why Eden should keep the baby was long too. She knew the next few days or weeks were going to be filled with a whole lot of thinking. "It's hard to think I won't. I have very few people to look at that are good examples of being a parent, you're one of them. But, I wouldn't want to do wrong by my child, and I feel as though I'm not a great role model for a child to look up too." Eden admitted. Though she did know, Aaron himself probably thought similar things. Hell, he had just recently gone to rehab for a drinking problem but still was an incredible parent. Eden leaned into the hug, holding Aaron tightly, "Thank you." She said, pulling away slightly. "Do you think -- would it be okay if I crashed here tonight? I just, I don't want to go home and talk to Mason yet."

Aaron

Aaron actually laughed. “Eden. I made an ass of myself on MTV for a year, worked in the porn industry, and have dozens of terrible articles out about me. You think you’re a bad influence. We all do dumb shit, then our kid changes us.” He nodded. “Of course you can stay here tonight. I’ll get the guest room ready.” As he stood up, he heard Des start to cry. He waved Eden to follow him to her room. “She been having nightmares lately.” He informed her before opening the child’s door. “Hi baby. Edens here too. Did you have another nightmare.” He waved Eden to follow him in before he knelt down at Des’ bedside. She describe some of her dream to them before Aaron (badly) sang her back to sleep.

Eden.

Well, that was true. Eden hadn't watched all of Rich Kids, but had seen enough to know that Aaron did surely make a fool of himself on MTV. Something his own kid could watch one day if she chose to do so. "Thank you. I'm not ready to face him tonight." Eden knew once she saw Mason, she'd most likely break down and tell him the truth about what was going on with her. Eden raised an eyebrow when he motioned for her to follow him. Eden quietly moved down the hall, as they got to Destiny's room. She followed him inside, getting down next to Aaron and listening to the small blonde describe her nightmare. Aaron made it look so easy to be a parent, she watched as he sang -- awfully -- to the small girl, but a small smile grew as she got sleepier and drifted back to sleep. If Eden did go through with this pregnancy, she could only hope she'd be the kind of parent that Aaron was.

[englass]

Oh, could I request John letting the deputy hold him because he understands she's going though a lot atm. :^) thanks for reading.

No worries hun! Thanks for sending this in! 😁 It took a while, but I had fun with it nonetheless. Kind of ended up running away with the idea, but I hope you enjoy it!

– – –

When Rook had gotten in that plane, as prepared as she could be with a freshly tattooed chest and a determined glare for the dogfight that was about to go down, she hadn’t exactly considered what could happen.

Sure, she hoped that she’d win. That she would finally free the Valley from the tyranny of John Seed by the end of it all, knocking him off of his high horse, and hopefully without that much bloodshed if at all possible.

But what she hadn’t considered was if things went wrong.

With a strangled gasp Rook hobbles toward the panting John Seed, his tailored clothes scuffed and dirtied, as he rests against the trunk of a tree. Eyes closed and head tipped back with both hands in his lap, radio tossed and abandoned at his side. Despite his ruffled appearance anyone would think that he just did a lap around his airstrip instead of get in a literal, and verbal, dogfight with somebody. He near enough looks unharmed.

Lucky prick.

Rook stares at her nemesis, usually groomed hair now tussled, before leaning heavily against the same tree that he’s up against. Sliding down until she’s sitting next to him and mirroring his actions; head tilted skyward with eyes closed, pained groans slipping through stilted breaths every now and again.

Despite sitting next to the infamous ‘reaper’ of the Valley, Rook can’t help but feel nothing but calm, strangely content as the warm afternoon sunlight flitters through the gaps in the leaves above, shinning down on the both of them with speckled light. Considering how cold it’s gotten the warmth is a welcome blanket for the shaky Deputy.

“Ya know,” she starts with a wince, holding her side, “despite it all, that was actually kinda fun.” There’s a fractured laugh underling her tone, mirth trying to break through even as she sucks in a stuttered breath between gritted teeth.

John scoffs, not even sparing her a glance, “I think you need to rework your definition of ‘fun’, my dear Wrath.”

“Says you,” she says accusingly, “I hardly think you’re one to talk, what with the type of stuff that you do to people.”

“What I do, Deputy, is not for my own pleasure, but for the salvation of sinners like yourself,” he replies with a snip. “I have told you this numerous times and yet, even in the wake of your atonement, you would rather still be barred from the Gates of Eden and condemned to an eternal damnation than swallow that filthy pride of yours. I only want to help you, Deputy, to give you a new and better life amongst the project; if only you would just say yes.”

“Oh leave off, John,” Rook whines, “I’d rather not talk about atonement and crap while I lay here dying.”

“Oh please,” John grouses, finally looking toward her, “like you’re actually–” he pauses, words dissolving on his tongue like powered tablet. His ocean eyes going wide as they glue themselves to the jagged piece of metal sticking out of her side; crimson painting her shirt, staining the hand that presses under the metal with a noticeable tremble, a vivid red.

“Huh, that bad eh?” Rook weakly jokes, watching the emotions dance hectically across his face, changing as quickly as the current, before looking skyward once again, pointedly refusing to look down at herself. She winces at a jolt of pain. “That’s reassuring.”

“Deputy...” the youngest Seed flounders, unable to look away from the sight she makes; caught in a trance as any harboured animosity fades to ash. There’s no way the Deputy – his deputy – could be dying, there‘s just no way. A piece of metal couldn’t stop them, surly. They’ve been through worse than this, he knows they have. He can’t lose them now that he’s finally got them, that wouldn’t be fair. That’s not fair...

John’s quick to snap back to reality when he hears the Deputy gasp, her free hand pressing into the ground beside him as she attempts to move herself.

John doesn’t spare a thought before he’s grabbing her.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He hisses in a rush, “stop moving, you will only make it worse!”

“A little late for that, I‘d say,” she grumbles lowly. “Now let go, I’m hardly going anywhere.”

Really such a fact should’ve had John vibrating, excitement twisted into something cruel and consuming, but he finds himself feeling the furthest from that than what he ever thought he might do. Seeing the Deputy like this was making him feel rather ill, a nasty sensation curling low within the pit of his stomach.

Also, were they always that pale?

So focused on his own conflicted thoughts and absent observations, John doesn’t notice when the Deputy edges a little closer to him; shimmying into his side.

With a whimper Rook moves her free arm, slipping it behind and around John’s back to grip and hold as much of his jacket as she can. Her head falling heavily to rest on his shoulder with a pained sigh.

John freezes at the touch, the familiarness of it making him feel a touch uneasy; a tad nervous. He doesn’t remember the last time someone had held him in such a way, if ever at all even. It’s completely foreign to him. And he especially never expected this type of gesture from the elusive deputy of all people, despite how much he might of dreamed and secretly hoped for it on lonely nights with only his hand for company.

But, even more so, he never envisioned a situation like this – so potentially dire – to be the one where his dreams finally became a reality. Or at least as close as he was possibly going to get them to reality anyway.

What a living nightmare this day was turning out to be.

“What are you doing?” The question is a lot quieter this time around; softer than he intends it. A breath of a secret shared between friends, or unrequited lovers.

“I’m pretty sure I’m dying, John,” Rook tells him bluntly, gaze distant and watery as her grip grows tighter, “and believe it or not, I’m actually really fucking scared right now, so if you could just shut up and let me find at least a little bit of comfort in you before I die then that’d be great.”

There’s a weighted pause filled only with the shimmering of leaves and unsteady breaths.

“Comfort, from me?” The baptist jokes derisively, “you really must be scared then...”

Yet, despite his tone, Rook can still hear the unintentional lilt of hope that’s layered within the question. The hope that maybe she, or anyone really, could want something so simple yet meaningful from him; something so soft and genuine.

And, not for the first time, Rook can’t help but feel sorry for the complicated man next to her. Memories of her makeshift baptism, the look on his face as Joseph walked away from him, fluttering to the forefront of her mind. If only life had given him a better hand.

“Yes, John. Even from you.”

There’s a broken sound that comes from him, a whine or a laugh she isn’t sure. Yet, the sound quickly slips from her mind when she feels his own arm come around to grip her shoulder, hesitant at first before hugging her closer, his head gently leaning to rest on top of hers.

The hand gripping his jacket is covered by his own, pulling her away – she whimpers pitifully at the movement, weakly holding on, “shh, it’s okay, Deputy. I’ve got you” – only to draw her hand up to his face. Fingers interlaced he kisses the palm of her hand before placing it over his chest, holding it there as his thumb brushes back and forth in a soothing motion; a silent reassurance.

If someone had told her a few weeks ago that she’d be hugging John Seed after being impaled by a piece of plane shrapnel, she likely would have scoffed and sarcastically entertained them. If not straight up laughed at them. Funny, she supposes, how life’s turned out for her.

“You’re not going to die, by the way,” John suddenly says, breaking the hush that had fallen between them, “I won’t let you.”

Once upon a time, Rook might have rolled her eyes at how childish he sounds, a little kid getting ready to throw a strop. However, the Deputy has had enough interactions with John Seed by this point to be able to gleam when he’s being serious.

It’s a little scary in its own right, hearing that cold shift that sends chills down her spine, but ultimately she decides to ignore his self-made promise. There’s nothing she can say to it.

“I hope I don’t,” Rook says honestly, “there’s still stuff I wanted to do.”

“Like what?” He asks conversationally.

The Deputy huffs around a laugh, weak and slightly derogatory, “it’s stupid really, but would you believe me if I said that I wanted to get married?”

“Married?” John’s chest does something funny at the thought. “You? Forgive me, deputy, but you hardly seem the type.”

“Wow, really? No offence John-no, but you do realise that I’m more than just a Deputy wrecking your shit, right? I have dreams and hopes for the future too, ya know? And besides, what do you know; you don’t even know me.”

“I know enough.”

“But enough isn’t a full picture, is it?” For a moment the Deputy goes quiet, and John can practically taste the bubbling bitterness in her next words. “How old am I, what’s my favourite colour, my favourite film; what was my first car, my first pet. Hell, does anyone even know my name...?”

It’s embarrassing really, allowing something so small and arguably petty to colour her the way it does, but if she really is about to die then surly now is as good a time as any to get her grudges and grievances out there. Confess, as John would put it it. After all, she’s done so much for everyone, got so much blood staining her hands (both figuratively and literally), and yet not one person has even asked for her name.

She’s a title, she knows that, has since this whole thing started, but bleeding out has a way of forcing things into perspective it seems. She’s going to die in the arms of her greatest enemy and no one is even going to be able to mark the grave because no one even knows her fucking–

She stills; tenses. Breath catching as she does so, but she pays the pain it causes no mind. Focusing only on the ring of John’s voice, his tongue curling around a name she didn’t think she’d ever hear again from another; didn’t think he even knew. Just how did he...?

“... what?” She sounds so small, so much like she did as a child, but she doesn’t care. Did he really just...

He pulls her closer, turns slightly to whisper her full name into her hair, lips brushing against her lightly as he does so. “That is your name, isn’t it?”

Rook sniffles, her breaths quickly becoming shallow and shaky as she presses further into John, burying her face as far into his neck as she possibly can. Hiding herself as tears begin to trail down her cheeks in lonely streams. Her retort is weak and warbled.

“Shut up.”

And, surprisingly, John does.

Although it might not be ideal, not at all how he hoped for them to come together, but for the first time since he can remember John feels what he believes to be genuine content. More than happy to offer his deputy all that he can give them in this uncertain, but surly fated, moment. This had to be destiny at play, he was certain of it. This was meant to happen.

And as he listens to her cry quietly, feels her sag and flinch in pain and anguish against him, waiting for his followers to hurry up and find them, not once does his hand let go of hers.

[farcryfuckmeup]

Request by @evelyn27 : Jacob likes a female deputy, but she doesn't like him back, or they're stuck in cold weather due to an accidental situation.

Anywhere But Here

wc: 2,120

tw: slight nsfw, implied smut

If she’d been anywhere else, this would’ve been a peaceful winter scene. The snow fractured into thousands of sparkles from the sun’s gentle rise. A few deer jumped about when they heard the snow crunch under footsteps or caught the distinct scent of blood. She figured the wind must have been carrying it further into the forest.

But this was Hope County. And Rook was in the Whitetails.

A cold wind wrapped around her as she bent over to try and catch her breath. This would’ve been a hard task to pull off if the weather was ideal, but it wasn’t, and each breath she took felt like knives in her lungs.

“Alright big guy…come on. Don’t make me do all the work here.” Her breath came out in frozen clouds in front of her as she panted. Rook groaned and straightened out her back before kneeling down, and grabbing the pair of boots that lay in the snow in front of her.

Her fingers slipped off his shoes, which were wet because of the snow, so she rolled up his jeans to expose part of his ankle. Some warmth from his skin seeped through her gloves, but Rook attributed that to her own fingers being cold. She felt a twinge of guilt at the realization she’d be making his body even colder, so Rook dropped his legs back into the snow and hastily pulled off her gloves.

“You’re lucky I don’t feed you your teeth for this.” She grumbled rather loudly, considering there was no one around for miles.

Rook couldn’t help but stare at the scene before her in amusement, no matter how disgruntled she was by it.

Jacob fucking Seed was passed out before her, blood trickling down the side of his face from the small cuts that smattered it. Those were the only injuries she could see that he’d acquired from the crash.

Rook bent down and grabbed Jacob’s ankles again, his skin hot against her own. She started to drag him backward, looking over her shoulder every few seconds to make sure she was still heading towards the abandoned cabin she’d been crashing in the past few days.

She’d been out hunting when she’d seen it. A Peggie truck Rook had stolen from an outpost. Normally she wouldn’t have been able to identify it as her own, but the Eden’s Gate cross was partially covered by incomplete spray painted flowers. Her truck had gone missing in the middle of the night a few weeks back, and she’d been livid about it. It had taken what little free time she didn’t have to decorate the car, and now it had been swung into a tree.

The bed of the truck had been crushed against the trunk, while the front end only displayed minor damage. Jacob had been slumped over in the front seat, knocked out by the impact presumably.

Rook was tempted to leave him there to die, to put a bullet between his eyes while he couldn’t fight back, but instead, she’d pulled him from the car and started dragging him towards her cabin. Physically it was exhausting. Mentally it was the funniest thing she’d seen in three days.

Rook let Jacob’s legs fall back to the floor so she could swing the door open, then she dragged him over the threshold and let his boots drop against the wooden floor.

She sighed and shook out her arms, and started blowing on her fingers to try and warm them up. The fireplace was still lit from before Rook had left, and she kept pulling Jacob’s legs until he was laying next to it.

Rook went to close the cabin door and then pulled out a hunting knife from her weapon’s belt. Then she proceeded to take all of his weapons that she could find on his person. Just because she was helping him didn’t mean he was going to stop trying to kill her for three seconds.

She knelt down next to Jacob and set the knife down next to her leg before trying to remove his snow jacket.

She’d never seen him wear anything other than his camo shirt and jeans when he was out and about in Hope County, but it made sense he’d bundle up for the cold.

The jacket wasn’t difficult to remove, but his camo shirt and t-shirt underneath that were damp, so they had to come off. The camo shirt was unbuttoned so it was easier to take off than his t-shirt, it just required a lot of tugging and turning.

Rook grabbed her knife and started to cut from the hem of his remaining shirt and up to the collar. In order to get a good angle on it so she didn’t accidentally cut Jacob’s skin, she had to practically straddle the unconscious man.

Despite how much she hated being on top of Jacob, she couldn’t help but notice how comfortably her thighs fit around his hips. Normally the position was somewhat awkward for her, but right now she didn’t feel the need to get up or adjust herself.

The longer she sat over him, the more anxious she became. This was Jacob Seed, the man who could control her with a simple song. The man who had kidnapped, tortured, and tried to have her killed. She was vulnerable but then again so was he. He was unconscious and underneath her.

Rook was starting to peel the shirt away from his skin when Jacob’s chest jumped as he sucked in a breath. Before he could even touch his empty holster, she’d leaned over his chest and pressed her knife just below his Adam’s apple. Underneath her, Jacob’s body stilled completely.

“If you so much as blink at me wrong, I will leave you here to die of hypothermia, am I clear, Seed?” Rook’s voice was one of the few things that could be heard in the cabin. The others were the soft panting of Jacob’s breathing, her own short and terse breaths, and the crackling of the fire.

Jacob’s gaze slid from the Deputy’s face down to where their bodies were connected at his hips, then he looked back up at Rook with an amused expression and slightly chattering teeth.

“I didn’t know you liked me this much, Deputy.” Jacob wheezed as he chuckled a few notes, and Rook rolled her eyes before leaning away from Jacob’s throat. She climbed off of him with a scoff, then sheathed her knife.

“I don’t, which is why you can do this yourself.” Rook braced herself on her knee before standing on her own two feet. She walked away from Jacob to stoke the fire as she heard the splat of wet clothing hit the wood floor.

An old instinct in her heard wanted to yell at Jacob about the floors and keeping them nice, but this wasn’t her home, and it didn’t matter what the floors looked like. They were in the middle of a Holy War for Hope County.

She went over to her duffle bag that had found a home on an abandoned mattress, and rifled through it, seeing if Hurk or someone of similar stature to Jacob had left anything that she’d picked up.

“You should’ve left me in that wreck.” Jacob’s tense voice broke the comfortable silence that had settled between them, and Rook turned her head away from the duffle bag to look at Jacob.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes before returning to her task at hand. What he’d said had managed to trigger a thought trail in her head. She should have left him to die in the cold, it would solve a thousand problems for her if she did. No more running from Jacob, no more brainwashing.

Rook’s back straightened and she turned to throw a large t-shirt at him with a scowl on her face.

“I should have.” It was all she could say as her brain kept spinning stories in the opposite direction. She hadn’t asked why she’d saved him since she’d started dragging Jacob out of the car. She’d just…done it.

Her eyes stayed glued to Jacob as he pulled the t-shirt over his head and slowly climbed to his feet off the hardwood floor.

“So why didn’t you?”

“Because unlike you and your stupid siblings, I actually have a heart.” Rook snapped back at him, even though his tone was even and calm. He was up to something and it was making her heart race that she didn’t know what.

“Exactly. You have a heart, pup.” A sly smirk graced Jacob’s lips as he started slowly walking towards Rook, and she instinctually started backing up. She knew it was exactly what he wanted, but she couldn’t help it. They’d been locked in this game of back and forth for weeks now and each time they saw each other, the air seemed to get a little thicker.

“Jacob, if you take one more step I’ll-” “-I’ve upgraded to Jacob now? I didn’t know we were on a first-name basis, Rook.” He applied some inflection to the word Deputy, his eyebrows scrunching ever so slightly to show his distaste that he, in fact, didn’t know the deputy’s first name.

Rook’s back hit the wall and she quietly cursed herself and beat her fist against the wood once. Her gaze swiveled to the left and right as Jacob’s arm came to rest beside her head against the wall. He leaned down a bit so that he was a few inches from her face, and Rook clenched her jaw as her foot tapped anxiously against the floor.

“You haven’t earned the right to know my first name. You get Rook and that’s it, Jacob.” She retorted and felt a twinge of satisfaction as his predatory smile faltered a bit. He didn’t move away from her, and Rook felt her head start to spin from how close he was.

“I-Can you give me some space please?”

“Why Deputy? Do I make you uncomfortable?” Jacob shifted so he was a hair’s breadth from her lips, and Rook held her breath for a moment. She looked into Jacob’s eyes and saw them shimmering with all sorts of desire, his pupils wider than they were a few minutes ago.

“Yes you make me uncomfortable you big buffoon, you make me uncomfortable because you make my head spin.” Rook kept her voice quiet and barely above a whisper, but she turned her head to the side as Jacob dipped his head a little closer.

“If you want me to stop, Rook. Just say the word.” Jacob’s calloused fingers rubbed against her chin as he turned her head back to look at him, and Rook’s breath caught in her chest as she felt his lips on hers.

They felt how she assumed they would: a bit cracked, but soft at the same time. His fingers slid under her chin and over her jaw, then to the back of her neck as they kissed.

Rook’s own hands had come up to push against Jacob’s chest, but she made no move to push him away. One of her hands make their way up his chest, tickling his collarbone, and over his shoulder. She gave it a light squeeze on his pressure point, smirking against his lips as she felt his knees buckle ever so slightly. The hand that had been placed next to her head on the wall was lifted and wrapped around the wrist that was on her shoulder.

Jacob pushed her arm against the wall above her head, and Rook pulled away with bright red cheeks and blown pupils.

“Well, well, Deputy. I didn’t know you felt this way.” Jacob’s voice was rough as he chuckled, and Rook rolled her eyes before smacking his chest with her free hand.

“Oh shut up before you kill the mood, and then I have to kill you.” She whispered rather loudly, and Jacob’s hand left her neck and slid down her spine and hips to cup her ass. She had to fight back a shiver as his fingers floated above her body, then she was suddenly lifted onto his waist.

Rook could feel how hard he was underneath her, so she tightened her legs around his waist to give him some friction.

“If you back up, you’ll practically fall onto that mattress, Seed.” She ticked her head towards the empty mattress. Rook already laid her sleeping bag out on it so that she didn’t get ticks or whatever else had called the cabin home.

“As you wish, Deputy.” Jacob smiled crookedly at Rook as his fingers tightened around her ass, and he spun them around and started walking towards the mattress.

tag list (link): @jumpinjulie27 @villainfuckers-world @hollymelissajennings @caminante-no-hay-camino90 @elizabethlynn99 @argetlam007 @thirstyforjohnseed @waywardmugpandacolor 

masterlist here!

[littleandroidwrites]

“She needs to back off of you.” i lied this for gio and eden the energy

Beckett’s little fists were leaving indents in the pasta dough that he was so poorly rolling out, and Gio was mystified – not for the first time – by how much a small human made half of him could soften him at the edges. 

He hadn’t even told Beckett that’d he’d ruined the pasta ten minutes ago anyway when he’d accidentally spilled about a half a cup of flaky sea salt into it. It didn’t matter so much, because it was late and Nancy was gonna be by to pick up their son before dinner’d be served anyway, so Beckett wouldn’t have to know that his dad was going to throw out the salty little ravioli he was putting all of his very tiny, very significant might into anyway. 

“Good job, kiddo.”  Gio said, and Beckett gave him a gummy smile back. He’d lost both of his front teeth within two weeks of each other, which made him look so fucking stupid that Giovanni’s heart clenched every time he looked at his gumby little kid. 

“It’s soft.” Beckett said sagely, presumably referring to the pasta dough which he was now bouncing his fingers into rhythmically. 

“Oh. We have a genius on our hands.” Beckett, of course, didn’t understand social nuances, so he only smiled wider. Giovanni brushed back the heavy black tufts of his son’s hair to give him a kiss on his forehead, and had one of those paranoid grown up looking after a child thoughts that maybe having Beckett stand up on a chair like this wasn’t terribly fucking safe. He shifted from his leaning position against the counter to take a slightly more active stance at Beckett’s side, and it was that very moment that the doorbell sounded, which had to mean – 

“Drew.” That was Eden from the table, who Gio was going to praise for her psychic abilities until he saw that actually she was on her phone instead of reading a script like he’d thought she’d been this whole time. “Does she know you don’t have to ring the bell for the key to work?” 

Gio snorted, because Drew’s politeness would never let her enter their home unannounced, despite the fact Giovanni had insisted to her on multiple occasions that – 

“You can just come in, you know.” 

At the sound of Drew’s footsteps coming from the foyer, Beckett seemed finally to click that the person arriving was in fact his most beloved mommy. Springing into motion, his little hand grabbed hold of Gio’s forearm and he jumped from the chair, nearly stumbling when he landed which only reaffirmed the chair paranoia. Giovanni bent to straighten him up again, and then turned to watch Beckett run into Nancy’s arms, which filled Gio as it always did with an overwhelming fondness. 

Giovanni had always appreciated Drew – you know, minus those couples years that were kind of a fucking drag – but especially lately, now that being a new father again was front of his mind. Eden was going on five months pregnant now, which was just as much a source of joy as it was of panic. Sure, he’d taken care of Beckett for reasonable periods of time, but never an infant, and never for-fucking-ever. And he’d been to what felt like sixty birthing classes already, had a book on what to expect when you’re expecting all but thrown at his head by Wolfgang that he’d made some headway in and – and it didn’t seem to fucking end, and then Gio would remember that Drew had done it by herself.

Well. By herself, featuring Ji Yeong. Who Gio was sure had put together a calming pregnancy playlist and crocheted a tiny little baby Beckett and tiny little mother Drew and put balloons in the birthing room or whatever. But she’d gone into it knowing she was going to raise a baby alone, without any kind of experience with one of her own. 

While Drew and Beckett greeted each other with tales of their day (Beckett was talking about the duck he’d met, Drew about the market she’d gone to), Gio did a lap around the dining area to collect up the little tornado his son had left behind. A squeaky book here, soft toy there, and his precious blanket. He shoved the first two into Beckett’s backpack, but kept the blanket out to hand to him when he approached them again. Taking a breath, like she was only just now noticing anything but Beckett, Nancy gave him a flustered smile and said, “Hello.” 

“Hello.” He said back, faux serious, because Nancy could be so fucking formal and he’d never grown out of pointing that out. Still, there was no point in elongating the joke because Beckett didn’t get it and Eden wasn’t listening and Drew had already let out a little breath of a laugh, so Gio gave her a one armed hug instead, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. Beckett imitated the soft smack of it, which Giovanni laughed at. He knew it probably was more auditory fascination than vicious mock, but a guy could dream.

“Sorry I’m late. Really.  I just got so caught up –” 

“We were waiting by the door.” 

Drew gave him a flat look that was just as much exasperation as it was acceptance, because she knew him well enough to know that was Giovanni’s version of saying it was okay. When he only looked back, she eventually cracked a little smile. “I’ll make it up to you, anyway.” 

“Calm down. I actually like the kid.” He said this as he manoeuvred Beckett’s mini-sized bag onto Drew’s shoulder, because Beckett was already resting his little head on his mother’s chest and looking between them in the bleary-eyed, half-lidded way of a toddler who was about to sleep the whole way home. 

“I know that.” Nancy said softly, unnecessarily, but she was always one to say something just in case. She was thorough like that. Sensitive like that. 

After Gio had walked them out to the car – tucking Beckett’s blanket into his car seat and taking a moment to tell Drew that their kid was kind of fucking cute even when he was sucking his thumb – he came back inside to unceremoniously toss Beckett’s mess of dough into the organics bin.

“He has no future in the culinary arts.” 

The silence, Giovanni had to admit, was defeaning. He looked up from the counter to see that Eden was just looking at him, chin perched on her intertwined hands, all of the airs of a person waiting. 

Because for Eden he always would, Giovanni took the bait. “Everything okay?”

Able to move now that she’d been acknowledged, Eden let out a sigh, closing her eyes as she moved a strand of her hair delicately out of her face. Giovanni pushed off of the kitchen island to make his way to her, and it was when he took the seat beside her, leaning on his elbow so that his face was almost in front of hers to witness her better that she said, quite casually, “She needs to back off of you.” 

That certainly was a strand of words that his wife had just put together. But Gio tilted his head to the side, half smiling in disbelief. “What?” 

“It’s just disrespectful. In my house. On my new porcelain tile.” 

Giovanni laughed, delighted as he always was when Eden was jealous, but this time it might have been a little bit because of how absurd it was. Actually, it was always absurd, which was why Gio loved it so much. The notion that Eden could ever think he’d look at someone else when he was damn near a eunuch in the hours that she wasn’t with him with how much he noticed other women. The idea that she could ever think he wouldn’t die fucking obsessed with her. Hysterical. Generally, Giovanni would parse this to Eden with a sprinkle of and fuck that bitch for fun, but now he just shook his head, free hand going to rest on Eden’s leg.

“Sweetheart. She wasn’t coming onto me.” 

“Like she didn’t linger into that cheek kiss.” 

Giovanni threw his head back, laughing. “Oh my god.” 

“You think this is funny?”

“Yes!” He said, and then, because that was the wrong thing to say anyway so why not keep it up, “We’re friendly. She’s the mother of my child.” 

“Like I’m going to be!” Eden said, looking beautiful and outraged as she scooted her chair out a little, just enough for her pregnant belly to show.

“Yeah. Mother of my child, my wife, love of my life – do you see the difference?”

“Does she?” 

God, it was ridiculous, and Giovanni loved her. He cupped a hand adoringly under her jaw, looking into her eyes when he said, “She knows. Everybody knows.” 

Eden’s expression softened almost imperceptibly, but she smothered it quickly, instead looking up at the ceiling coyly. “Knows what?” 

A smile stretched across his face, because Giovanni loved to indulge her. “That I love you. That I worship you. That there’s nobody else for me. That you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Want more?” 

She finally deigned to grace him with her gaze, smiling in a way that told Giovanni he’d said the right things. “More.” 

“That you’re enchanting. That you light up a room just by breathing in it. That I spent my whole life before I met you not knowing I could ever be this happy, and –” 

And he was cut off, because now Eden was kissing him, and he was kissing her back. 

Gio knew he’d be finishing those sentences later, because he knew what his wife needed, and he knew he’d spend the rest of his life happy to give it to her.

[gremlinkweenarchive-blog]

Chasing Twisters

Part 1: The Garden of Eden 

A/N: Okay, here’s my first longer series on this blog! Idk how long it’s going to end up being, but let’s see where it goes! This is all about Michael receiving a vision that there is a woman meant to be the mother of his children and the queen of his new world, but she’s uh, not enthused with the idea at all. So, just let me know what y’all think!

Warnings: No smut yet, sorry. There is blood, death, abuse, the reader goading Michael to kill her, she’s lost everything in the apocalypse so her will to live is not very high right now. That’s about it?? 

Word Count: 2.6 k

Tagging List: @ccodyfern, @michael-lngdon, @michael-langdon-owns-my-soul, @langdonsinferno, and @duncans-donuts

Without further ado: 

The moon looked pure, gleaming white and full, filtering through the branches of a dead forest. It was once green, but when he stepped foot in here, all of the life wilted away. Michael didn't remember this place, but he wasn't one to doubt these visions. A flash of movement caught his eye. A feminine figure dashing through the dry foliage. He felt a pull towards her and he took after her. No matter how fast he ran, she seemed just to get further from him. It was a maddening race that it seemed like he was destined to loose. He felt a branch whip up and snap across his face, a thin but constant line of blood falling from it.

She lead them to a barren clearing in the field and stopped in the middle, making Michael stop at the edge of the clearing in fear that he was going to make her run off again. She turned to him finally and he saw what a wild creature she was. Her skin was bare and kissed by mother moon, all of her edges soft with femininity, her face soft, yet her eyes burned with fire, a passion for life, a stubbornness that didn't compromise, a wild fire that consumed everything. Michael didn't know if he could breathe looking at her.

Her arm raised and she beckoned him to approach, but he did so cautiously, not trusting something so wild and beautiful, something so savage and breathtaking. Yet, she stayed in her spot, allowing him to approach. He towered over her, but she stood tall against him. She reached up and wiped the blood from his cut, the stinging soothed and he realized the cut was healed. She then licked her thumb clean of his blood. He didn't want to speak, in fear of frightening this magnificent creature.

Grabbing his hand, she held it to her face, her skin warm and maddening to the touch, but he let her move his hand down, only running briefly across her chest and down to her abdomen. She placed his hand there firmly and suddenly it was like an outburst of magic, of energy, that flowed through out the field and forest. He watched in wonder as life bloomed everywhere. The field was luscious with life in just mere moments, and he came to understand that the bump under his hand was firm. This wasn't just the soft belly of a woman, but life grew inside of her, and came to understand it was his. It was his seed that took root here. There was something even deeper though. The life radiated from her. It was his seed, yes, but she was the divine energy that fed it. She was the one that restored the life to this place.

She then stood on her tip toes and leaned up to whisper in his ear. "Find me. Woo me. Fill me. I'm your's."

He went to respond but suddenly he was darting up in his bed, not in that magical clearing. The silk was sticking to his sweaty skin and he was gasping like he had just run a marathon. He looked around his dark room, everything was as it should be here. He fought for control of his breath as he thought about the dream, the vision, he just had.

With a huff, he threw the sheets back and got out of bed, flicking his fingers for his robe to fly to his hand. He'd have to think on this. Of course, this was only the next logical step. A queen for a king. A bloodline for a dynasty, but he had no idea where to start. He figured it was time to figure it out.

-----------------------------

The barren wasteland was her home now. She learned how to exist here just as well as she did before the end of the world. She's alone now, the only companion is the cat that co-habits her bunker that she didn't even bother to name. Names meant that you were attached, meant that the holder of the name had sentimental value. Sentiment gets you killed in this world. She stopped caring about her own long ago, if she ran into anyone and names were demanded, she just gave them the name Odie, short for Odysseus for the famous no one trick. She didn't even bother to explain that much, people were either gone or dead in a week.

Today's expedition was for looking for copper, hoping to be able to wire her bunker better. Just because the world ended didn't mean that home improvements had to stop. After all, she had that greenhouse that needed the best wiring to keep everything at a good temperature and get the proper uv exposure. At least, that's what she told herself. The real reason was something closer to not allowing her brain to rest and think of all that she's lost.

She slipped on the mask and stepped out to the bright day. The sunlight harsh, blinding, and garish. God, she hated it out here, but it was either go out here, or slowly go insane in there. So, time to take her chances out here. The trip was going well, she was able to raid some copper wire from an abandoned Home Depot in the skeleton of a town. This would definitely go far, and she would even go as far to say she was excited about this find. Plus, there was a Pet Smart there, and she was able to nip in and grab a toy for her friend. This would make him happy. It was going to be a good day for the both of them.

In hind sight, she should have known that having a good first half of a day meant that everything was going to go to shit later. So, seeing a guard from that stupid fucking outpost or whatever bullshit as she turned the street corner shouldn't have been that much of a surprise, but still, she was surprised. They both looked at each other before she reacted quicker, grabbing a knife from her side and let it loose, finding it's new sheath in his neck.

She took off, feet pounding against the pavement, but didn't get far before a pair of strong arms grabbed her from behind. She shouted, but drove her foot to the inside of that one's knee as hard as she could, hearing the tendons and ligaments tear as the man screamed loudly. She then brought her elbow into his face as hard as she could, hearing the screams stop. She kept moving, hoping to get away, and it looked like she just might before someone hiding behind an abandoned car jumped out and grabbed her arm, pulling her roughly and suddenly there was a loud crackling sound and a searing pain in her shoulder, the smell of burnt flesh, and then the world was black.

--------------------------------------

The guards dragged the limp body between them to Michael. He turned on his heel, looking annoyed with them, but seeing the limp person between them, he was curious. He hadn't slept since that dream last night.

"Well?" He asked impatiently.

"We found this loner out in the wasteland. Took one man out, and we're not sure if Thomson's ever going to be able to walk the same."

"A feisty one," he remarked emotionlessly. He didn't need anymore stragglers here.

"We're just not sure what you want us to do with this one." One of the guards ripped off her mask and Michael suddenly forgot how to breathe. It was the woman from his dream. Of course, a bit more rough around the edges and with a busted lip. She looked just as beautiful and wild as ever.

He regained his composure and looked to the guards. "How did the injury to her lip happen?"

"I hit her after I subdued her for what she did t-" He didn't have a chance to defend himself anymore before Michael as cracking his own hand against his face. The only reason he didn't kill him then and there was the fact that he was holding her up and he didn't want anymore harm to come to her.

"You ever touch her again and I will make you regret ever being convinced, do I make myself clear."

"Yes, Sir."

A groan from you interrupted any other communications and Michael knelt down to be at eye level with her, cupping her cheek. "Have no worry, my sweet. You are here with me now. I will protect you from all harm."

Eyes blinked open, but they were still unfocused. There was only a small mumble, "My sweet? Gross." Then her head lolled to the other side away from his touch. Michael felt a touch of rage and confusion at the rejection, but he decided to be reasonable and chalk it up to you still being delirious.

"Take her to my room, I'll speak with her when she wakes."

The guards, having seen what this woman was capable of, looked at each other then to Michael again, unsure, but his mouth forming a hard line gave them the motivation to follow orders.

----------------------------------------------------------

She, Odie, No One, awoke hours later in a large bed covered in satin. She sighed, but then confusion over took her. This was not her bunker. She shot up and looked at her surroundings. This was like the wet dream of all the teens that shopped at Hot Topic before the world ended. She was really confused now.

"Oh good, you're awake."

Odie whipped to the source of a voice that looked like he was either an angel or a member of an emo band, but figuring with the current state of the world, neither existed. "What the fuck is this?"

His mouth was open to speak, but then closed at her words. "It's a rescue of sorts, you could say. I have a proposition for you."

"Cool," she stated as she threw back the covers and slid out of the bed. She had to admit it was gorgeous and oh so soft. She was wearing a silk robe that she had to admit that was much more comfortable than her old clothes. She took a seat in a plush chair and looked at the other with an arched eyebrow. "So?" She motioned with her hand, like she was giving him the floor in his own bedroom, "Get proposing."

He was taken aback by her attitude. A wild thing, she truly was. He took the one across from her, and studied her for a moment, before speaking. "I'm Langdon."

"Good for you. Get to the point. I've got things to do."

He blinked, dealing with a rising bewilderment and rage towards this woman. He took a deep breath, "And what may I call you?"

"Odie. Now we're friends, yay. Please, the point." She looked bored and maybe mildly irritated at worst. He had never met anyone that had this reaction to him. It was odd, though, that wasn't the name he was expecting to hear from such a beauty.

"I want to offer you a life of luxury and comfort in these times. A chance to live like a queen."

"Sounds like there's a royal catch to this offer."

She wasn't even letting him work his words, spin her into a fancy. She had no use or desire for words such as those.

"I had a vision last ni-"

"Don't we all." Okay, she would admit that was just to be a jerk.

He gritted his teeth. "You demand the point yet you interrupt."

"Yes, I'm sorry, continue Langbong."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Suddenly, he found himself asking his father for the patience to deal with this woman. "Langdon. It's Langdon."

She was about to say something, but he held up his hand and she did give him the decency to let him continue. "I had a vision last night of you. A peculiar one. Something that leads me to believe that we are meant to be one, to create one."

Her eyes narrowed, she didn't like where this was going. "Create one?"

"I do believe you are meant to be the mother of my children."

Her jaw dropped, she stared at him in disbelief. Then she scoffed and shook her head and then she started laughing. His brows knitted together in confusion.

"This is a joke, right? Like you really aren't some random guy asking to get me knoc-" She stopped, seeing no trace of humor in his face. "No-" She scoffed again, no offended. "No. No fucking way. You aren't not baby trapping me because you're lonely! Get the fuck out of here. I'm-" She stood up. "Thanks, but no thanks. I want my shit back. I've got a cat to go feed. That's my kid. The cat. He's soft and lovely," she was clearly not taking this well, "And he purrs and even better yet! He doesn't scream and cry! It's great, I get love and affection and I don't have to deal with children. It's amazing, you should try to find a cat instead of kidnapping random woman and proposing that you be their baby daddy. Just a fucking thought."

She was grumbling now as she pulled the door open but it slammed shut. She gasped and tried to open it again, but it wasn't locked, it was like a force as pushing it closed much harder than she could pull it open. She let go of the handle, and turned to face the man. Seeing the rage glowing on his face. She was scared to her bones, but she kept a steady face.

"You are the mother of my children that my father intends for me. He set this up from the beginning. Just like I took over the world," it was like electricity stirred in the room and she was expecting lighting to strike at any second, "You are to be my queen."

It made sense now, her eyes lit up in recognition, but they stayed lit with a hatred and rage that gave pause to his rage, and she started stepping towards him like a stalking predator. "You. You're the one that ended the world?" She scoffed, "This is it?"

Suddenly, she went flying into the wall, and there was a pressure on her throat. He was the one stalking towards her now. "Don't think I won't cut you dow-"

"And kill your broodmare?" She taunted with an edge.

He glared at her, and she just laughed before the force around her throat cut off all noise.

There wasn't fear in her eyes, just amusement, a dare. A defiant wish that he'd do it. Snap your neck, keep the air from your lungs until you turn blue, anything. Only air flooding your lungs came when the corners of your vision became blurry.

He was right in her face now. "Are you going to continue this fit or-"

"Or what? What will do, Antichrist? I have lost more than you could ever imagine with your little game that you decided to play with humanity," venom dripped from her words like honey, somehow both hurtful, deadly, and erotic to Michael. "A little piece of me has died with everything you've taken from me. So, what will you do? Kill me? Then go ahead. Tell me how you plan on killing a shell? An empty husk that is only capable of surviving anymore. Go ahead, kill no one and put no one out of her misery." He could see the hot tears in her eyes, burning with hatred, rage, and a sadness he realized he was responsible for.

[shan282-ao3]

The Devil Has Come Ch3

Originally posted on Archive of Our Own [x]

Chapters: 12/? Fandom: Far Cry 5 Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Female Deputy | Judge/John Seed, Female Deputy | Judge/Jacob Seed, Female Deputy | Judge/Joseph Seed Characters: Original Female Character(s), John Seed, Jacob Seed, Joseph Seed, Faith Seed, Staci Pratt, Nick Rye, Sharky Boshaw, Female Deputy | Judge (Far Cry), Original Male Character(s), Kim Rye, Boomer (Far Cry), Joey Hudson, Earl Whitehorse Additional Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Torture, Fluff, Minor Character Death, Recreational Drug Use, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Eventual Smut, Character Death, Slow Burn Series: Part 1 of Bottom of The River

Summary: They should never have been there. Whitehorse and Pratt were right when they spoke against going to Eden’s Gate. They should have left The Project alone. They’d started something and there was no going back now. The lamb had broken the first seal and the deputy had been helpless to stop her.

Read below:

The sun was starting to set on Holland Valley and Sarah felt a shiver run through her body. Her clothes were all still sopping wet from the baptism. She was really wishing she hadn’t left her jacket back in the truck with Rook and Boomer.

She was trying to keep track of where they were going, trying to latch on to any sort of landmark, but all the trees looked the same and John’s warm hand wrapped firmly around hers was pretty goddamn distracting. In fact, she was struggling to look anywhere besides his hand as she mentally shouting at herself. What was she doing? She should run now. She could easily pull away and knock him down, give herself enough time to run to safety. Yet just like at the baptism she didn’t fight him, she just stared at his hand where it intertwined with her’s.

“It’s not much further.” He said, his voice filled with excitement all over again. She really fucking hoped they got wherever they were going soon because on top of being cold her feet were starting to really fucking hurt, she had been cursed with old lady feet.

Just as the trees around them were getting almost too dark to see, a warm light poured out ahead and John picked up the pace. A large house came into view and Sarah marveled at how pristine it looked, almost as if it had come straight out of a catalog.

“Whose house is this?” She asked as he led her through the set of double doors closest to them.

“Mine.” He answered simply as he ushered her ahead of him and towards another door. He snapped his fingers and a man appeared from yet another set of doors at the end of the hall. How many freaking doors did this rich idiot have? “There dry clothes in here, they’re Faith’s but she won’t mind. When you’re done Brother Thomas will bring you to me.” He told her and gently shoved her inside, shutting the door behind her.

Sarah took a few seconds to herself to look around the room. It was rustic, expensive looking, and so obviously Faith’s when she stayed with John. There were jars of dried bliss flowers and a few potted bliss plants on the windowsill that someone had obviously been tasked with watering.

Taking a deep breath, she locked the door and ran to the windows. John was gone so now was her chance to get away. Only the windows, she now noticed, had bars outside of them so that was a no go. There was only one guard outside the room, but she had no weapons and there were definitely way more than she could handle outside the ranch. She had no options. Her best bet was to wait it out for another opening.

She looked around the room slightly paranoid once more before stripping out of her wet clothes and hanging them up in the ensuite bathroom. There was a large dresser against one of the walls and inside she found all sorts of dresses and panties but no bras. Did this woman not wear bras?

Sarah opened the rest of the drawers hoping beyond hope that she might find something other than a dress but to no avail. With an annoyed huff, she picked out one that was considerably longer than the others and with sleeves this time, though it was still that barely off-white color. She slipped it on and looked at herself in one of the mirrors. She looked like she was about to get married. It was all loose and lace seemed to billow away from her with every movement. It was downright gorgeous but so fucking impractical for her situation.

A loud knock on the door snapped her back into the present and she swiftly opened it, her eyes meeting her guard’s, Thomas’s, hazy blues. “Ready?” He asked and she was almost certain she heard a hint of annoyance in his tone.

“No,” She deadpanned but stepped out of the room, letting the door fall closed with a click. “But let’s go.”

He gave her a forced smile and lead the way towards, well Sarah wasn’t actually sure where the fuck they were going or what the hell she was being led into. They went back out the doors she and John had come through and she wrapped her arms around herself against the cold though it didn’t actually help in the slightest. Thomas stopped at the foot of a small set of stairs leading to another set of double doors and nodded for her to move ahead. She hesitated for a second before giving him a polite smile and ascending the steps.

Once inside the house, she fought to keep her eyes from bugging out of her skull. If she’d thought Faith’s bedroom was extravagant then she didn’t know what to call the rest of the house. There were stuffed animals and mounted antlers all over the place. A giant fireplace in the middle of the floor warmed the whole room and cast a soft, welcoming glow on everything.

Right in front of her was a massive dining table and John Seed sat at the end, his back to the fireplace. He’d changed as well, swapped out his signature blue shirt and vest for a slightly darker blue shirt. Like the cocky bastard he was, he’d left three buttons too many undone and was leaned back in his chair smirking at her.

“What do you think?” He asked, gesturing to the room. He knew what she thought, he just wanted his goddamn ego stoked. She merely shrugged and watched Thomas, who’d entered after her, pull out a chair near John for her.

“Thank you, Thomas.” Sarah gave him another polite smile and took her seat. Another cultist came scurrying in with two plates of food and Sarah looked towards John questioningly. “What is this?”

“Dinner.” John gave her an amused smile before he thanked the cultist and waved Thomas away. “And no it’s not poisoned. You look lovely by the way, white looks good on you. Though I would have gone with something slightly shorter.”

Sarah gave him an unamused look and lay a napkin across her lap before picking up her knife and fork. She had to admit, it looked and smelled delicious. She watched John for a second to make sure he didn’t try anything before she took a bit. She couldn’t help a happy moan that escaped her lips as the food hit her tongue. She’d been eating canned crap for weeks she’d almost forgotten what real food tasted like. John chuckled and she held back a glare.

“I’ll take that to mean you’re enjoying it, Deputy.” Sarah stopped eating and looked up at him, mouth open slightly as a realization dawned on her.

“Do you not know my name?” She asked, her mouth widening more in shock at the sudden flustered look he got.

“I— well— of course, I know your— well…” He trailed off, not meeting her eyes and took another bite of his food.

“Jesus Christ you don’t know my name. You just baptized me and you don’t even know my name.” She let out a genuine laugh at that. “God I’ve been running around this valley wrecking your plans and you still haven’t even learned my name?”

“It wasn’t something important enough to know.” He gritted out, anger covering embarrassment now. Sarah took a few deep breaths to calm her dying laughter but the grin stayed on her face.

“Of course it wasn’t, you only want to free me of my sins and bring me into the cult. Why would my name be something important to know?” She stabbed at some of the chicken on her plate and chewed it. She got a grunt in response and they fell into a slightly tense silence, waiting to see who broke it first. It was of course John.

“Joseph has plans for your deputy friend, she will reach atonement one way or another. I hope you will help me guide her to that.” He told her, his voice soft, much like it had been at the baptism.

“Look, Johnny,” He gave her a sharp at that nickname, “I’m not so sure I want to atone for anything. You’ve done some pretty fucked up shit to the people around here and your followers have been stealing from my friends. So why do you think I’d want to join Eden’s Gate and help you convert my friends?”

“Because it is what God has planned for you.” His answer sounded fake, manufactured. It was said in John’s voice but so clearly Joseph’s words.

The rest of the meal was passed with awkward small talk: the weather, John’s interior decorating, a rather lengthy description of his planes which he promised to show her tomorrow before they went to his bunker to continue the atonement process. When finally they’d finished eating both dinner and a mouthwatering dessert course, John sighed and threw his napkin down on his plate. He stood and pulled her chair back from the table, extending a hand to help her up.

Sarah looked at the hand with an unimpressed look and batted it away, standing on her own. An amused chuckled filled the air. “You can stay in Faith’s room for tonight.” He said and grabbed his jacket before he began walking her back to the room.

Outside was still cold, the wind not helping one bit, and the sleeves of her dress were all lace and did nothing to keep her warm. She could feel shivers coming on when John’s jacket wrapped around her shoulders. Sarah looked over at him with questioning eyes but his were fixed on the stars above. The sky was gorgeous, she had to admit, and he had a beautiful view of it from his ranch.

The walk back to the bedrooms passed in comfortable silence and before she knew it they were back inside standing outside her room.

“Thank you for the uh, well for dinner and the jacket,” Sarah said and handed it back to John, he’d been so uncharacteristically nice it was throwing her off. Sure she’d never actually met the guy before, but from everything she’d heard about him she had not expected today’s show of kindness.

He took back his jacket with a nodded and a smile before he reached around her to open the door. “Goodnight, Deputy.” He bid her before turning to continue down the hallway towards the other set of doors leading outside.

“Sarah,” She called after him and he abruptly stopped and looked back, his face contorted in slight confusion. “My name, my name is Sarah.” She clarified and watched what seemed like a genuine smile spread across his face.

“Well, goodnight Sarah.” He disappeared out the double doors and was consumed by the darkness outside. His absence in the hallway was quickly filled by Thomas when he stepped inside to stand guard by the doors. She gave him a polite nod before retreating into her room and locking the door behind her again.

It had been nearly two hours since she’d entered the room, surely everyone was asleep by now. Sarah lay on the bed, her eyes fighting to stay open as she mindlessly watched the clock bidding her time. She’d heard Thomas leave nearly a half hour ago, though she was certain he was close by. But by the sounds of it, he’d left out the door furthest from her so the doors she’d taken to get to dinner should be clear. Unless there were other Peggies out there. She’d cross that bridge when she got to it.

She was practically bouncing when she finally stood up and went to the bathroom to get her clothes. As quickly as she could, she pulled the dress off and got back into her still damp clothes, at least they had dried somewhat.

There were no weapons in the room so she’d have to rely on sneaking past people to get out. As quietly as she could, she unlocked the bedroom door and slowly opened it, peering around for any sign of Thomas or another guard before slipping out. She kept her steps slow as she crept to the doors leading to the back of the house and held her breath as she opened them. She didn’t dare breathe again until she was outside and had confirmed there were no guards close enough to see or hear her.

The flickering light of a dying fire pit to her right had her moving as fast as she could in the direction of the rest of the house. She had just reached the stairs when the murmuring of voices and crunching of gravel reached her ears as two guards came up on the corner. If she didn’t move quickly they’d be right on top of her in a few seconds. With only a moment of hesitation, she dashed up the stairs, crouching low as she opened a door and slipped inside. She had just closed the door when she heard the men come around the corner and she let out a quiet sigh of relief.

She stayed low as her eyes searched for another exit. The room was considerably darker than before, most of the lights had been turned off, but the fireplace was still roaring in the center. There was a door to her right that she was pretty sure lead outside and well if it didn’t she was screwed either way so she didn’t have much to lose. To get to the door she’d have to leave her cover, but the room was dead silent apart from the fire so she was fairly certain she was alone.

As soon as Sarah had started her half jog towards the door, the sound of a throat clearing had her frozen to the spot. She turned slowly, dread filling her movements, and bit back a shout of frustration when she saw John sitting forward on his couch and closing whatever book he must have been reading. Of fucking course he’d be awake, that was just her luck.

“Oh hey, John didn’t see you there. I was just— uh— going for a walk to clear my head?” Her excuse was pathetic and really she didn’t know why she was trying.

“Oh really? From where I’m sitting it looks like you were about to run into the darkness without so much as a goodbye.” He stood from his spot and started stalking towards her, something dark glinting in his expression.

“Ah well, you see…” She trailed off, inching away from him and towards the door. Only a few more feet and she’d be home free but as she moved closer he lunged forward. Her fingers grazed the doorknob as his arms wrapped around her and yanked her back deeper into the room. “Get. The fuck. Off me.” She exclaimed between elbowing him as he dragged her back.

He threw back against the wall of the fireplace and caged her in. “I was really hoping we could do all this without pointless fighting.” He said, his tone dripping with promises of punishment.

“Fuck. You.” She spat and reared back only to throw her head forward and slam it into his forehead.

“Fuck!” He roared and backed away, hand on her forehead covering where their skulls had just collided. His rage, which had been slightly tamed before, was now filling his facial features and spilling over into his movements as he began to surge forward again. Only this time Sarah was ready and she threw out her fist in time to hit him smack in the jaw, sending him falling back on his ass.

She didn’t waste a second getting out of his reach and running for the door. She paused at the door to look back at him, he was slowly picking himself back up, clearly still dazed. She took the moment to grab a jacket of one of the hooks beside the door before she ran out into the night.

Sarah pulled the jacket on as she ran, not daring to look back when she heard John’s angry shouts after her. She didn’t stop to catch her breath until she was well off the ranch property. She crouched in a field of tall yellow flowers while she struggled to get her breathing under control and soon found herself laughing in spite of her situation.

She just punched John fucking Seed in the jaw. Boy was he gonna be pissed next time they ran into each other. She was a little sad she wouldn’t get to see the bruise, though based on what she’d seen of his lifestyle so far he’d probably cover it with expensive concealer so no one knew.

Once she could breathe again and had stopped laughing she started walking again. It was late and she didn’t have any of her gear or a radio to call Rook so she decided to go to the closest place she knew: the Ryes.

[lycienne]

Idea for a Jacob/Staci fic

Jacob still has Staci captured, but doesn't condition him or anything. At first, he's just confined to a room (maybe even one with an arcade) gets regular meals ect. When Staci promises Jacob that he won't run away he becomes kind if Jacob's assistant. Staci follows him everywhere, taking notes, commands some of the lower level soldiers when Jacob has no time for that, runs errands which doesn't involve leaving the Veterans Center's grounds.

Somewhere along that way they become attracted to each other. Jacob is happy having someone around who has his own mind, doesn't just follow his orders, who isn't just grossed out by him and most importantly isn't related to him. Staci is stubborn and rolls his eyes when Jacob starts again with his religious ramblings and is the only one to point out that Jacob doesn't even believe them himself. But he's clever enough not to cross a line since Joseph has his spies everywhere.

Staci on the other hand is happy that Jacob respects him, treats him well (compared to what he has heard about Hudson and Burke) gives him a certain amount of freedom. Jacob protects him from jealous cultists who don't like the idea that a "prisoner" gets more access to a herald than they get (Jacob even shot one of his chosen who attempted to kill Staci, and proceeded to yell that anyone else trying to commit treason would face a much harsher punishment).

Later, Jacob would take Staci with him when meeting with his brothers and Faith, much to their surprise. He justifies it by saying he needs someone to check that Faith doesn't but any Bliss in his food and drinks, that he doesn't trust his soldiers enough to keep Staci safe while he's gone. Staci is a hostage after all, and if one of his soldiers might "accidentally" hurt or kill him they might lose an important gambling point to the resistance which so far has maintained a low profile in the Whitetail Mountains compared to the other regions of Hope County.

The fact that Jacob just likes having Staci around conveniently falls under the table. When time goes by, Jacob relies on Staci, who has proven himself loyal to him (and be it only to save his life) more and more. Since Staci is around Jacob at almost all times, it's inevitable that he witnessed a PTSD breakdown, most likely when they are alone finishing some documents for Joseph after a hard day of training new recruits.

It's the first time Staci sees Jacob cry, apologizing to some guy named Miller, and cursing over and over again that he just wants a normal fucking life. Staci tries to comfort Jacob by awkwardly padding his back, but it doesn't take long for Jacob to pull him into his lap and hug him like Staci is some kind of teddy bear replacement. Staci just let's it happen, hell he even hugs Jacob back, he just can't stand the sight of the person who has had so much mercy on him crying. Shortly after that Jacob tells Staci everything. There's news out that the rookie deputy has killed Faith and is moving to his region next, for some reason sparing John.

Jacob wants Staci to know that he (Jacob) has to die to fulfill his brothers prophecy,that his life doesn't matter, that Staci has to flee to John's region once he's dead, so he can be saved. And God, how Jacob wants Staci to be saved. If anyone deserves to walk through Eden's Gate, it's him.

Staci of course is furious. He knows that Joseph is manipulating Jacob and he knows that Jacob knows he's being manipulated by his brother. Jacob is a monster, maybe even a psychopath (although Staci doesn't believe that for a second) and Staci did his hardest in trying to hate him, but it didn't work. Both of them have danced around each other for so long it's almost heartbreaking. And Staci snaps. He walks over to Jacob, pulls his head down and kisses him. Tells him Jacob won't him to sacrifice himself, that he will stop him, no matter the cost. Jacob doesn't know if he should laugh or cry and decides just to kiss Staci back as if his life depended on it.

A few weeks later that theory should be tested, as Rook has come to kill Jacob while he and Staci where patrolling the area. Jacob went alone went the first noticed Rook, telling his chosen to restrain Staci until he came back (not that Jacob was planning to return, since he was aware that the time to fulfill his brothers prophecy had come). For the first time in years Jacob prays to God, thanking him for his time with Staci and begging him to keep Staci safe should to collapse really come.

Staci, on the other hand, struggles and finally breaks free out of the chosens's grip, just to run after Jacob. He finds both Rook and Jacob on a nearby hilltop pointing guns at each other. That God nobody is hurt yet, but how things are going, that's only a matter of seconds. At some point Staci thinks he's getting suicidal, too, when he steps between the two. Both Rook and Jacob are startled since they were so caught up in the chase they didn't even realize Staci was coming.

That's the dumbest thing he's done in his life, Staci is sure of that, but he can't just have Jacob sacrificing himself, not here, not yet, not ever. Despite what he has done. There's a curious disconnect in Staci's brain between Jacob the herald and Jacob the person. Jacob the herald might be a monster, evil, a psychopath and everything else people say about him, but Jacob the person isn't. Jacob the person is a soldier who wanted a family to come home to, who's happy when he has people to protect who love and cherish him or what he does, who spends hours hunting just to find the perfect animal for his brother to stuff.

When Staci dares Rook to shoot him to get to Jacob, all three of them are shocked. Rook, because he couldn't believe his colleague would risk his life for a certifiable monster, Jacob, because Staci actually managed to escape his chosen and tries to protect him with his life rather than running straight into the arms of the resistance and finally Staci, because his brain caught up with his actions.

Rook was the first one to come to his senses, shouting for Staci to get out of the way, get somewhere safe, "until that problem is solved". He doesn't physically move or try to get Staci away from Jacob though. Staci knows at this point it's all or nothing. In seconds Jacob will awake out of whatever stasis he's in and shove him out of the way. Staci wants to explain everything but theres no time, so he acts. He turns around and kisses Jacob with all that he's got. All that he wants to say in one action. Are here tears on his face? Staci doesn't know, doesn't care. Either he and Jacob both survive the next seconds, minutes or they don't. It's simple as that. "I'm sorry Rook, I love him, I just love Jacob", is all he manages to say and he means it. Staci doesn't even realize it's the first time he confessed his love to Jacob.

At that moment the world suddenly starts to move again. Jacob grabs his hand and runs. Through the forest, away from Rook. Staci faintly hears shouts and gunshots in the distance, but he doesn't care. He runs and runs and runs next to Jacob until they arrive in one of his hiding places. "We have to talk to Joseph", is all that Jacob says between hastily shared kisses full of love and desire. When Staci asks him later why, his only answer is "because I want to live". For some reason that makes Staci happier than anything else.

It's only been two days and they're on the way to John's bunker to meet with Joseph, since John's ranch had been taken by the resistance and Joseph's compound had been abandoned by the time the reaping started. Jacob and Staci have barely set foot in the bunker when the bombs drop. The Peggies are quiet. Staci is quiet. John and Rook, who stand next to each other for some reason Staci doesn't want to know, are quiet. "I was right", Joseph says into the silence, "I was right".

During the following days Staci learns q lot if things. That Rook took so long to take Faith down and get to him was John's fault, for example, because he wouldn't stop messing with Rook, in ways Staci didn't want any further explanation.

Staci also learned from Rook that it wasn't some God who decided to punish humanity, but that WW3 just happened, and Staci wasn't sure which was worse. Either way, he punched Joseph right in the face during one of their "family dinners", for making all of them suffer so much. Jacob wasn't pleased but Staci didn't care at this moment.

The last thing that Staci learned was that all of the Seeds bunkers were connected and that radio transmission was still possible. That meant two things: he could contact his still lost colleagues he learned fled to a bunker called "Wolf's Den" and that a sizable number of people survived the bombing. For the first time in his life he was happy preppers existed.

And after everything, Jacob was alive, he was alive and his friends were alive. That was all that counted in this moment. Staci didn't now what the future would look like, he just was happy that he could share it with Jacob.

PS: If anyone wants to use this plot go for it, I'd be honored (Just tell me before because I'd read the heck out of that). I just love the idea of Jacob and Staci having a relationship that doesn't involve torture or brainwashing or conditioning. Both my babies deserve better than what they got.

[farfanfiction]

Loyalty to the Pack: Part 5

Pairing: John Seed x Joseph Seed x Reader x Jacob Seed 

AUs: Omegaverse, werewolves

Warnings: Angst, fluff (kinda), cursing, talk of sex and other smutty stuff, cheating, slight voyeurism, mentions of depression and anxiety, mentions of guns and violence, self-hate, (Jacob being a big fucking teddy bear.)

Word Count: 2,622

A/N: Thank you all again for supporting me through this series, it means so much to me. This story means a lot to me and to see a lot of people like it brings a sense of warmth to my cold, un-beating heart. I know the lines aren’t correct, I didn’t want you guys to seem bored with the same old lines from the game. I gave them a twist to seem legit to the story. Give me some feedback on what I could do better or what I did alright, where you wanna see this whole mess go, or something you just don’t understand. The gif is not mine.

Masterpost   My Omegaverse Rules

   Just as you had expected. Your heat hit you like a fucking truck the next day. You woke up to soaked sheets, either made by the sweat caused by your fever or the slick currently running down your thigh. You gave a disgusted look as you peeled yourself away from your bed. Bad enough the sheets were soaked, your clothes were as well.

   It was hot as balls in your room anyway, might as well take off all your clothes while you were at it. You took each dripping piece off and moaned in relief as the cold air hit your skin. Your (s/c) skin began to form goosebumps, but you didn’t care. It was no longer boiling hot, yet there was still an issue. The heat between your legs, completely different from the literal heat, was scolding. It almost felt like a burning sensation as the slick dripped onto the wooden floor.

   This time a moan of pain stopped you from standing anymore. Without even thinking, your body reacted. You grabbed all the blanket and pillows in the closet and piled them onto the bed. Hell, you even grabbed your softest clothes from their hangers. Before you knew it, a rather large nest was forming. 

   Lexi growled at you when she was forced to move, but she eventually hopped off the bed and onto the floor, where she continued to sleep. You curled into your nest and got comfortable. You had a feeling you would be here awhile. It wasn’t like you had an Alpha to help with the heat. Maybe give you a nice knot and pups. Just the thought of being full of pups cause slick to run.

   Maybe John would smell you when he got home... if he got home. Your scent was super potent at the moment, so strong even you could smell it. You tossed and turned in the pile of blankets as you thought of John, of Alphas in general. You could just imagine him taking you in the nest as you pulled at his perfectly styled hair. Something you honestly didn’t understand about him. Both Joseph and Jacob didn’t care for their appearance, but John was all about appearance.

   As you lay there, in the worst pain you’ve ever felt, you thought about what was missing. It was John’s scent. When you both almost kissed, you caught a whiff of his natural Alpha scent. This time it wasn’t masked by a fancy cologne or deodorant. It was pure Alpha pheromones, a blend of plane fuel and coffee you smelled once before. At the church during your confession. This scent was intoxicating even in a small dose. That all changed when your opinion of John changed.

   Throughout the day, the pain would come and go. First, it would start off like an ache then it would get more intense. It returned to this sense of burning in your abdomen and then the kicker. You had this sense of emptiness and accompanied by cramps, the most painful cramps in the history of cramps. It was worse than any period you’ve experienced. You even had a few tears fall down your face as you clutched your lower abdomen. Occasionally during this stage, your Omega took full control. You would let out the tiniest whimpers as you gripped the blankets.

   “Alpha…” Would escape from time to time, but nothing. Not a wolf coming in to check on you at all. It was as if you weren’t even there. Maybe you weren’t, you were just a toy to him. Used for his emotional manipulation, something he has shown to be rather good at.

   It wasn’t until late at night, the Alpha finally arrived. You struggled to get out of bed. Your stomach would churn as you stepped towards the window and the sweat would just drip. There was no escaping this heat, even without clothes. It was a never-ending oven on high in your room. You looked out to John hop out of his truck, accompanied by a mass of select VIPs and chosen. He dispersed them and marched right into the Ranch, his trenchcoat flying after him. Another tug from below showed you just how much you needed John right now. Needed your Alpha, needed an Alpha.

-----

   Right when John walked in, he crashed into a wall of nothing but pure, Omega scent. It was the intense rain and bliss smell from days ago, but far more delicious. She was definitely in heat. He could already taste the slick just from this far away. She must look ravishing. Probably in a nest already presenting for him. Her perfect ass in the air as she moaned for him to put his pups in her. God above, he was starting to sound like Jacob. All animalistic and shit.

   He let out a growl as he stalked to the stairs. She was so close, yet completely out of his reach. What concerned him the most about mating her was the fact that Joseph would eventually find out about his lust. The lust that was slowly growing in his chest. The lust he had to carve into his skin multiple times from just this week. His attraction was more of lust than love. 

   An Alpha would always be attracted to an Omega in heat, mated or not. That’s how it worked and he could give a shit about Joseph’s mate rules. Yet, the thought of defying his brother was scary. He didn’t want to disappoint him by ruining something that had been years in the making.

   The best decision was to find Holly, the Beta had to be around somewhere. She literally followed him around like a lost pup, eager for his knot, which she never got. Holly couldn’t handle his knot like (Y/N) could. His rut was already here and if he got close to her, he would surely do something that they would both regret. His wasn’t ready to mate or have pups. The project was his pup and mate, he was literally married to his job.

   He was dedicated to Joseph, the person who saved him from himself. If he held off talking to Joseph about it, the news of him not mating his soulmate, the Omega God wanted him to bond with, the news wouldn’t reach him as fast and then his harsh ‘scolding’ would be hopefully less painful. This decision was for his sake, that was at least what he convinced himself to believe.

John just had to have Joseph believe him. This would take time and that’s something he didn’t have. John and Jacob were on their way right now, ready to deal with their Deputy and resistance problem.

------

   You continued to lay in bed, fighting an internal battle on whether or not you should seek out John. There was the relief of an Alpha. Something the Omega half of you was practically screaming its head off for. Then there was the other side. Holly, even if she hasn’t been seen in days, there is still a way she could sneak back in. Like the cancer she was. 

   That part of your brain, the rational part, was fighting a losing battle. It appeared the Omega part of your brain and your legs had worked together to walk you to the door.

   You stared at the wood in utter horror. The portal to your very demise, the portal to Hell if you were feeling dramatic. And yes you fucking were Your mom would say you’re the most dramatic person she knows and she would be right if you thought long and hard about it.

   You took a deep, shaky breath and took the leap of Faith. You took the long walk to John’s room. Each step you took was as heavy as the last as you stopped in front of the large doors. From the outside, no noise could be heard. You leaned onto the wood just to be sure and like before, nothing. You could smell him in there, his scent as haunting as ever.

   You slowly twisted the silver knob, listening as the springs twisted and turned. You slid the door open only to have a scream rip through the air. Whether it was from pain or pleasure, it was still loud. You peaked in to get a closer look.

   You could clearly see John’s back from the doorway. It strained and the muscles bulged as he leaned over a mystery figure. Even though you couldn’t see their face, their presence was very known. Their long fingers were knotted in John’s messy brown hair and their face was hidden in his sweaty neck, probably scenting him as much as they could. Which seemed to be pointless. His pure Alpha scent practically clouded the room. It was potent and strong, the main sign of an Alpha in rut.

   The scent alone made slick run down your bare thigh. You rubbed them together as you watch the couple go at it. The sounds of them both were very clear. The person underneath John was practically howling. “Alpha, please! Fill me, I need it! I’m your good little Omega!” They cried. The voice sounded oddly familiar as well.

   The figure turned and Holly was revealed. She stared directly at you as John practically wrecked her. The Beta gave a slight smirk as tears gathered in your eyes. This didn’t seem to affect you when you didn’t know who it was. Now, that you learned it was Holly, envy was making itself very known. The sour feeling it gave you caused bile to rise in your throat as large tears ran down your face. “Yes, Omega take it! Gonna fill you up with my pups. My sweet Omega, my sweet…”

   You ran out of the room an utter mess before you heard John finish. “... (Y/N)”

   You didn’t even care that you were naked, you just wanted to leave. More than you’ve ever wanted to before. Maybe Eden’s Gate wasn’t for you. There was way too much drama than a church needed. 

   Maybe the project was turning into a corrupt church like Joseph preaches about. Tyrants ruling over unwilling servants of the God they preach about. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe you were the problem. Or yet, John was the problem.

   You ran down the stairs, not even looking where you were going. You didn’t stop till your bare chest slammed into a hard surface. You lifted your hands and felt around. Hard muscle twitched under skin and rough fabric rubbed at your sore, tear-stained cheeks. You looked up with blurry, (e/c) eyes to see Jacob Seed in the flesh. He looked down at you with the same confused look. His familiar blue eyes held no anger as he slowly wrapped his scarred arms around your bare waist.

   You only gave a small sniff and went back to the warmth this Alpha was radiating. His hand gently stroked your back as you cried into his shirt. His palms were surprisingly soft as they soothed. His unruly beard scratched at your (h/c) hair, causing you to give a meek giggle. Unknown to you, Jacob had a small smirk on his face as he stared at Joseph, who stood right next to him. Watching as his older brother calmed this Omega with a sort gentleness he didn’t know he possessed.

   “Calm down there, kitten,” Jacob stated. It came out rougher than he thought it would, but it calmed you down nonetheless.

   “What happened, my child?” Joseph whispered as he leaned in to look at you. You looked up at him with these defeated eyes that he’s seen before. It was John. It had to be.

   John was known for breaking the hearts of many, but after raising him from these sins, Joseph knew he would fall from the Lord’s Graces once more. John had made it his mission to step away from temptation. Sadly, over the years, this did not come to light. With each passing year, John fell deeper and deeper into this pit until it consumed him once again. Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed willing, but the flesh weak…

   “John… he was with another woman again… a Beta.” That’s all that could come out before you burst into tears once more. Anger flickered across Joseph’s face before it went back to his usual composed look.

   “Jacob, would you please escort (Y/N) back to her room while I speak to our brother.” Jacob nodded and lifted you up bridal style. You yelped and watched as Joseph made his way up the stairs and onto the balcony. It was amazing how the Father could be so composed in such a state, he truly had the gift of patience. If you were him, you wouldn’t put up with John’s shit.

   You directed Jacob to your room and sat in awkward silence as the ginger just stood there. It was surprising how Jacob had so much self-control when he was in the same room as an Omega in heat. “Watch yourself Omega. You’re a kitten in a pack of wolves.” With that said Jacob walked out of the room, his combat boots clunking as he walked down the hall and out of sight. Just hearing this Alpha growl out your title sent shivers down your spine and slick on your thighs.

   You fell asleep to Jacob’s aroma of gunpowder and wood that night. But, just like previous nights, some type of noise woke you.

   Gunshots sounded from outside and a very loud siren blared in the night. You ran to your lone window and peaked outside. Pack members fell left and right, but there was nothing out there except for what seemed to be a… dog? A black and grey dog ripped at people’s necks and ran back to a bush near the entrance.

    A man dressed in camo emerged from the bush, a big ass rifle in hand. He petted the dog and ran inside the Ranch. You could hear his boot covered footsteps bellow you as you ran to the closet. You locked yourself in and waited.

   The heavy footsteps got closer and closer until they stopped right in front of your door. Why did he fucking have to check this room first!? You heard the door creak open and the footsteps again. You could see his boots through the gap. You were fucked.

[fanficsforheartandsoul]

A Familiar Name | Seed Siblings x Fem!Reader

Hello! 

Welcome back to part 2 of The Letters Series! I hope you enjoy this as well :) The characters might be a little OOC but please consider that this is from the Seeds siblings point of view and I don’t really know a lot about them...

Attention!

Faith’s letter and the story around it is divided into two parts because I wanted to write a little more detailed. But I still hope you like it ;P

Part I

Warnings: Mention of Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Swearing

Summary: Faith reads part of her letter and comes across a familiar name. To find out more she has to visit the youngest brother of the Seed siblings...

The statue of the father seemed to glow in the light of the sun setting and a small smile appeared on her lips. Faith sat on one of the cliffs before the statue with her personal copy of Joseph’s Word in her hands. The deputy hadn’t shown up in the Henbane River region yet and her followers were still focused on their mission. She was relieved. Their thoughts shouldn’t be poisoned with the lies of the young police officer and his friends. The mission was the only thing they should think about. The collapse would come soon and they couldn’t risk being distracted. Unfortunately, she was at the moment. The blue envelope, which Faith only wanted to use as a bookmark, somehow made its way, into her hands. She was curious and that got the best of her. She looked over her shoulder. No one was near. She opened the envelope carefully…

The envelope contained three folded papers and an old Polaroid photo. Faith inspected the picture first. A young woman, probably even younger than her smiled into the camera, holding a diploma. The woman had remarkable h/c colored hair and her smile was so wide and full of joy, Faith could only imagine how happy she must have been. On the back of the photo was a name and a place written. Y/N L/N Montana State University. “So that’s what you look like.”  The youngest of the Seed family smiled a little. She could totally see Joseph and Y/N in a relationship, and if they really had been she knew why. That woman was beautiful.

She unfolded the first paper, it was a copy of a diploma. “Master of Fine Arts, huh. Impressive!” Faith hummed in acknowledgment. “So, Joseph knows an artist.” She put the paper away and turned to the actual letter. It consisted of two slightly yellow letter paper, which gave away a faint but still memorable scent. “Did she smoke?” The youngest herald of Eden’s Gate frowned. Sniffing once again she scowled in disgust. "She's so young! How can she do this? Smoking is a sin! Maybe that's the reason why Joseph...” She didn't finish this thought.

Faith took a deep breath. “Come on, I wanna know who Y/N is! I will change the deputy but for that, I need a chance!” Then she unfolded the letter. She found the beginning immediately and her lips formed into a grin when she saw the little doodles at the edge of the sheet. “Okay, here we go.” And she started reading.

3rd of August

Dear Dad,

Guess who graduated at the University in Bozeman! Yup, it’s me! I’m finally free! No more drunk freshmen in the dormitory, no more essays, which I have to write overnight, and no more FUCKING 8 a.m classes!!! I’m so happy! 

Cross that out, it’s not really true. I mean yeah, I am happy but it would’ve been so much better if you were there, Daddy. I know you couldn’t but I just think what would have been if you had been there. If you would have been home. With Mom. Maybe then she would have come...

You know, I expected that my graduation would be celebrated with both of you but unfortunately, none of you were there... You're probably asking yourself why Mum wasn't able to attend the ceremony and you have the right to know... She's currently at the rehab center in the next town. She relapsed.

Fuck, I really thought she got better. The last time she took some pills and shot up some heroin was years ago. And then I'm away from home for a semester and suddenly she's addicted again, like what the hell? What happened? Why??? 

Tomorrow starts the fifth week of her stay in the center. Since she got admitted I can’t really sleep. Every night I convince myself tomorrow will be different, but it never is. She’s still addicted and I just can’t handle the fact that it is probably my fault that she relapsed. If I haven’t decided to stay in the dorm for the last semester maybe she wouldn’t have shot up 

And now; the worst news... The bill of her stay is bigger than I expected. And with my student bills... We're in trouble, Dad. God, I fucking hate it.

When I visited her yesterday she didn't even talk to me. Apparently, she doesn't talk at all. It's the fucking Center I swear. I just hate Estherwoods.

Faith stopped reading. Her breathing also did for a few seconds. Suddenly her hands started shaking and she had to put the letter down. She knew the rehabilitation center Y/N was writing about. Institute Estherwoods. Oh, dear Lord. Memories crashed down on her and she began to feel slightly dizzy. Taking deep breaths the youngest Seed tried to calm down.

A shout in the distance caused her to spin around in caution. She sighed in relief when she saw that the calling one was only a VIP member of the cult and not one of her brothers or even the deputy and his pack. "Faith. We have a problem..." The herald of the Henbane River region frowned. With one swift movement, she stood up and hid the letter and Joseph’s word behind her back. "What is the matter?" The red-haired woman scowled. "The deputy was seen near Lorna's Truck Stop. He killed a few of our people and then made a run for it." Faith sighed and then took a bliss flower from her flower crown on her head. "I will take care of him. I want you to do something for me meanwhile." The VIP nodded in excitement and blushed a little when the siren put the white flower in her hair. "Whatever it is, I'll do it." Faith smiled lovingly. "I need you to contact Nancy from the Hope County Sheriff's Department." The woman narrowed her eyebrows. "O-Okay... And why?" The Herald took a deep breath. "I want her to contact the Estherwoods Institute in Jacksonville. I'm looking for a woman with the last name L/N."

 A few days went by and Faith couldn't even think once about Y/N or her mother. And that only because the deputy was a huge pain in the ass. Even though he seemed to be making a step in the right direction when he had jumped from the father statue without fear, he appeared to have forgotten her story and decided to hurt her and Project Eden's Gate even more. He destroyed her outposts and killed dozens of members and she couldn't do anything about it. She was expecting Joseph to call her in anger but when she finally heard her radio station crackle while she was in her bunker, the person on the other end wasn't her brother. "Faith Seed?" It was an unknown male voice. "Who is there?", she asked with distrust in her voice. "I am Derek from the Hope County Sheriff's Department. I have some information about the woman you're looking for."

She remained silent for a while. "What about Nancy?" Derek answered shortly after. "She had to flee. After the disappearance of Sheriff Whitehorse hell went loose. The FBI came and started snooping around. Her cover would've been blown up soon, so she deserted. I'm her replacement." Faith sat down and smoothed her dress. An actual surprise could be seen on her face. She didn't think that people actually cared about the deputies and the Sheriff that much. Well, sometimes she was just too naive.

"Okay, tell me about the woman." A short silence followed then Derek started to tell her everything he knew. "So the woman you're looking for was a patient in Estherwoods for a few years. Her full name is Eliza L/N and she was in therapy for abusing various drugs like heroin, cocaine and also for her smoke addiction. She was depressed and self-harm endangered. She went to various therapy sessions but apparently never got fully clean. The last records about her are from 2012 when she was admitted after a suicide attempt." Faith tried to listen attentively but memories of her past started to haunt her and she heard whispers and shouts and her breathing began to become ragged.

"Are you still listening?", asked Derek after a while and his calm voice was like an anchor in the storming sea of her thoughts. "C...Could you repeat your last words?" The man on the other side of the line seemed to realize that something was wrong with her but he didn't ask her about it. "I said I contacted the appropriate authorities and apparently Ms. L/N still lives in the same house." This pricked up Faith's ears. "And she lives where?" She didn't know Derek but she could imagine him smirking when he said: "In Hope County."

Without wasting time Faith started to get up. Her legs still felt wobbly but she didn't care. Derek told her the exact address and she almost laughed and cried at the same time when she found out where the woman lived. Or used to live. She didn't actually know if the former was still the case. Eliza's house was in Holland Valley, really really close to John's farm. So it was possible that she joined the Project. Or got killed while resisting. She didn't want to accept that possibility yet, she wanted to confirm it. Eliza must know something about Y/N and Joseph and somehow Faith also felt connected to the woman. Both of them stayed in Estherwoods.

The young woman rushed to her room, grabbed the blue envelope and its content from her nightstand and then hurried out of her bunker. On her way, she lost her flower crown but she didn't care. Faith hasn't felt so excited and nervous at the same time since Joseph chose her to be Faith. As soon as the sun hit her face she started looking for a truck. She hasn’t driven for years but who cared. She had seen how some of her members are driving so it wouldn’t attract that much attention. «Truth, you can’t hide. I’m coming for you!»

 On her way to her brother’s farm, she used the radio to contact him. «John?» It was silent for a while. Then the radio crackled and she could hear the smooth voice of her older brother. «Heey, if this isn’t the siren.» She rolled her eyes when she heard her nickname. «Guess who already got a clue about Y/N!» She could imagine his shocked face but instead of a surprised answer, she got an evil laugh. «Well, you’re not the only one! I’m gonna win and the deputy will atone because of me!» Now she was the one who was surprised. «What did you find out?», she asked with disbelief. «Not gonna tell you! And I need to leave now, I’m busy with someo- something.» «Wait, John, I-« «Goodbye!»

The radio turned silent. Faith breathed out a frustrated sigh and let her head hang low. I couldn’t even tell him that I’m coming to his ranch. An angry honk got her attention and she shot upright to fix her eyes on the street again. «Asshole!», shouted somebody and she let out a shaky breath. «I need to concentrate now. I-I’m still driving…» And with that, her journey to John’s ranch continued.

 When she arrived she didn’t expect to see twenty cult members just standing there on John’s veranda. With furrowed brows, she stepped out of the truck and let her eyes wander over the farm. There were some really big bullet holes in the wooden walls and the ground was covered in craters as if somebody had played with explosives. She walked up to the crowd of cult members but they didn’t seem to notice her. «I think he’s done now.» «No, no. I bet he has just begun!» She frowned. What was going on? But she found out as soon as she asked herself that. «I will squeeze every sin out of you and I won’t stop until you atone! And when you do, you will pay for everything you did to Eden’s Gate! You will rebuild my fucking sign piece by piece and Deputy, my friend, I will make sure that you claw out every single bullet in my walls with your fingers until they bleed!»

Oh. Now she understood. Her brother’s voice was so loud and full of anger he could be heard from outside. Even though he probably was in his office in the back of the house. «The deputy will be a goner once John gets him…», whispered a female VIP and the others nodded. A sort of pitiful silence fell on them. It lasted until loud footsteps were heard from inside the house and the crowd started to panic, right when Faith opened her mouth to ask them something. «Out of the way!», whisper-shouted a brown-haired man and all of them scurried off the veranda and started to act like they were busy.

Exactly at that moment, the front door opened and her brother walked out. Oh, boy. Oh, boy… John looked angry. No, that was an understatement. He looked like he was about to strangle someone with his belt. His eyes had a ferocity in them that made her take a step back. She had met people with the same gaze. And she knew how careful she had to be now. «H-Hey, John.» Faith cursed silently for stuttering. «What are you doing here?», asked the lawyer with malice in his voice, his breathing still audible from screaming so loud earlier. «I wanted to ask you something… Something involving Y/N L/N.»

Her name must have been a trigger for him because John started to calm down and his furrowed brows allayed and were now lifted in curiosity. «What is it?» Faith took a deep breath and fidgeted with her dress. Maybe I shouldn’t tell him. He could take an advantage from it… She shook her head. No, she would ask him anyway. She came this far so she wouldn’t just back down. «A woman lived really close to your ranch. Her name was Eliza L/N…» She didn’t say anything else and neither did her brother. He just scrutinized her and then turned around and went back inside without saying a word. What…? The herald of the Henbane River region just stood there dumbfounded. «Uh… Okay? That was… an informative talk.»

A few moments later came John back, in his hands five big files. «Here.» He just said and gave them to her. Faith blinked a few times. «T-Thank you…?» Her brother folded his arms in front of his chest. «These are all of the files I got when we came here and I started to purchase land. They contain information about all house owners in Holland Valley.» A surprised gasp escaped her lips. «Seriously?!» John nodded. «Will they tell me something about Eliza?» He just shrugged his shoulders. «I don’t know.» Frustration started to build up in her. «Then how are these files gonna help me?!» The annoyance clearly audible in her voice. «Just read them. And now please excuse me. I have a date with a certain someone.» Faith looked at him in bewilderment. She wanted to respond but before she could her brother turned around and slammed the door behind himself. 

Asshole was the first thought which came to her mind. A long sigh escaped her lips. “Seriously? You could’ve at least let me read them inside...” Instead of sitting in one of the chairs on John's veranda she decided to read the files in her truck. She decided so out of pure stubbornness. First, she thought he wanted to help but he clearly just wanted her out of his way. Walking down the stairs and back to the vehicle, she heard some of the cult members talk. "The deputy got some balls showing up here with that airplane he stole from John a few weeks ago!" "I'm pretty sure he's suicidal... Did you see John's expression when he walked out? I almost shit my pants... He’s so gonna kill him!" So that’s what happened. The deputy attacked the ranch! 

A wave of concern for John washed over her and she felt bad for insulting him in her head. Since the Police got involved with them all of her brothers seemed to be nervous and edgy. Faith could understand why. The deputy and his companions brought hell over Hope County and threatened the success of their mission. 

Stil feeling slightly bad for her too fast judging she entered her truck on the driver’s side and relaxed for a second. “I’m gonna find Y/N’s mother and then she’ll tell me about Joseph and Y/N!” Determination glistened in her blue eyes and she opened the first file. She started reading...

Many, many, many contracts, ownership, and other papers later she finally found something interesting. The L/N family owned two pieces of land. One in Holland Valley and one at the border of the Whitetail Mountains. The one in John’s region was a farm. The other was a small house. Even though she already had a feeling that she would be more successful with the later, she decided to visit the farm first. She looked up and wanted to start the motor of the truck when she realized that the sun was already setting. She has been reading for hours! To emphasize this, a loud yawn escaped her lips. Faith sighed. It will take a long time to drive back to her bunker. She let her head hang low and in frustration, she banged her forehead against the steering wheel. “Uuuugh, why is it always me?!”

A knock on her car window almost made her scream. The herald of the Henbane River region turned her head and her eyes fell on John. He wore that stupid coat which he ordered online with Joseph’s credit card and in his hands were two cups. Her eyes widened slightly. A smile crept on her lips and she let the truck window down. “How can I help you, Baptist?” Her brother raised an eyebrow when he heard her slightly mocking tone. “Just open the door already and move over!”” She followed his request and scooted over on the passenger seat. John sat in the driver’s seat and handed her the cup. “Thank you”, she spoke softly. The aromatic smell of coffee spread in the truck and both of them drank their drinks in a comfortable silence. 

It was weird how John’s behavior changed so fast but it has always been like that. She couldn’t remember the lawyer otherwise. When she first met him and Joseph introduced him as her new brother she had just turned 18. John was 26 years old at that time and “busy” with his job to buy more land from the people in Hope County without making Eden’s Gate suspicious. He told Joseph that in response when the father asked him to show her around in Holland Valley. It was a big fat lie. She had known that. Faith wasn’t blind and she was able to see past his stupid excuses and eventually she had found out about his and Holly's relationship. She was quite in shock. How could he do something sinful like that? She had asked herself and a mix of disgust and disappointment for him started to form in her heart. But when she found out about his parents' cruel methods of atonement these feelings disappeared. And when John suddenly turned up at her doorstep of the Jessop Conservatory blood all over his chest with the word Sloth carved in his skin and the expression of pure peace on his face and the words "I welcome you in our family" on his lips, Faith knew he was a split soul. This evening he had been peaceful and happy and they talked almost all night long about her time as an addict, her rehabilitation in Estherwoods and many things more. But as soon as he had left her house he turned into the sadistic man that he created himself, once again. Occasionally he let her see the loving John and at these moments she felt truly like he was her real brother.

One of these moments was now. Sitting in her truck, drinking coffee together. "You shouldn't go home at this hour. It's late and you might encounter a bear." Faith didn't expect him to break the silence so she was surprised when he did. His words made her chuckle. "I'm not walking home, John." He clicked his tongue in annoyance. "I know. But these animals are crazy! Once a brown bear attacked my plane. While I was in it!" She couldn't stop herself from bursting out in giggles. His rambling was just too goofy for him. "How would a bear be able to attack you in your plane??" He was in a huff. "I was still on the ground!" When he shot her an angry glare she held her hands up in defeat. "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna laugh anymore." He just nodded and stared out of the window. She calmed down and once again it was silent in the car

After a while, he asked: "Are you okay?" She raised an eyebrow and looked at him confused. "I mean with this whole Eliza L/N stuff. She was in Estherwoods... Do you know that?" Realisation hit her and she started fiddling with her sleeves. "Yeah, I know... I didn't expect to hear that name again but I guess that was naive of me." Once again her mind drifted towards the memories she tried to forget. The long corridors, the white walls of her room that were once stained with her friend's blood. The syringes. The screams, sleepless nights, Dr. Lester's evil grin when he stepped into her room and-

“-ey! Faith, are you okay?!” She snapped out of her thoughts and realized that she was crying. Tears flowed down her cheeks and she got a hiccup. John had grabbed her by the shoulder. “Hey... It’s alright...”, he spoke softly. He placed his cup behind the steering wheel and then engulfed her in a big brotherly hug. Faith's tears soaked his coat but John didn’t seem to mind. Her hands held onto him like he was a lifebelt and at the edge of her thoughts, she knew that her fingernails probably damaged the leather of the designer clothing. The herald of Holland Valley started to hum a song and she tried to concentrate on his steady heartbeat and the rumble in his chest when he hummed. She soon recognized the song and her lips formed a weak smile. 

Help me Faith, help me Faith, shield me from sorrow, from fear of tomorrow. Help me Faith, help me Faith, shield me from sadness, from worry and madness... Lead me to the bliss.

Her breathing started to become normal again and the tears stopped flowing. She was still hiccuping but besides that, she calmed down. She felt still a little shaky but mostly because she was embarrassed. John hasn’t seen her crying in years and now she clung to him like a little kid. But the lawyer didn’t seem to mind. He still hummed her song and stroke her hair to comfort her. It looked like he didn’t know that she had calmed down. But she didn’t want to destroy the moment so she kept her mouth shut and just relaxed in his arms. The familiar scent of John’s cologne surrounded her and the feeling of safety made her realize how tired she was. Soon - without her wanting it - her eyes fell shut and she drifted to sleep.

“Please leave me alone! I already did what you wanted!” Her desperate shouts were ignored. The man stepped closer to her. “But my dear Rachel, you didn’t make Archie happy. And you know what that means...” She couldn’t make out his approaching figure because her vision got blurry from her tears. “P-Please dont’.... I-I n...no more drugs, please! I will make Archie happy, I will! I promise!” His shadow loomed over her. “You’re too late, Rachel.” “No, please, no! Don't hurt m- AAAAGGGHHH!!"

[namjoonsteeth]

Back To You- Day 2

Title: Back To You (mini-series) Day 2 of 7 

Word-Count: 5k

Summary: Jay has been Eden’s weakness for far too long. As much as she tells herself she’s over him, all it takes is one call for her to drop everything and fly to Rome for a week to help him out. He wants a second chance, she just wants to stop being so foolish when it comes to him. They both have 7 days in Italy to figure it out.

Genre: Angst

Cover made by @obiwon-shenobi​

“Fuck,” 

Being this close to him has officially ruined me, once again. I wake up with my hands clinging to the sheets and my lip painfully wedged between my teeth. The image of Jay’s hands running across my skin still lingers. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t know just how good he is at what he does. And God do I know. 

I roll my eyes at myself already done with my behavior and it’s not even, I roll over to look at my phone, seven o’clock yet. I have no one to blame. I brought this on myself. All I can do is fucking deal with it. Starting with pretending that I didn’t wake up mid-sex dream about my ex-fling who’s sleeping just a few rooms down from me. 

I have about an hour and a half before eight, when I have to be up and outside so I can shoot with the groovy-room guys, Gyu-Jung and Hwi-min. I remember walking past a gym downstairs. I’m hoping I can at least run my frustration out or this day is headed straight to hell. 

I get up and pull on some leggings and a sports bra before grabbing a towel and heading downstairs quietly. The house is eerie so early in the morning. Each step I make echoes in the big hallways. Thankfully the door to the gym is left wide open and it’s empty. I plug my earphones in and tuck my phone in my pocket. 

For the next hour, I work out the fact that I want to spend the rest of the day in Jay’s bed and recount all the reasons that could absolutely not happen. 

“You look stressed,” 

I turn at the sound of Chase’s voice. 

“Nope, not stressed at all,” I give him a tight-lipped smile. My steps start to feel heavier as I turn up the speed. Totally not stressed. 

“It’s not healthy to avoid your problems, Eden. Especially when he’s Jay Park. The man doesn’t give up,”

“He’s not a problem,” I breathe out. 

You would think the fact that I’m wearing headphones is a clear indicator not to talk to me, but at last, here we are. Running away from my sex dreams only to have his best friend show up. 

“He just needs to learn that not everybody is cool with being walked over just because he’s who he is,” 

“You know him, Eden. He’s not going to give up until he knows a hundred and ten percent that you’re done with him,”

“I’ve said it, Chase. I can say it until I’m fucking blue in the face and he’ll still be like ‘We’re meant to be together. I’m going to be with you whether you like it or not’,” I do a poor imitation of Jay’s voice waving my hands around dramatically like he does. 

“First of all, his voice isn’t even that deep. Secondly, you’re here,” he sighs. I bat his hand away as he leans over to stop my machine but he’s stronger. My legs come to a stop and feel like jelly. I use the handles on the treadmill to hold myself up.  

“You can’t tell me you don’t want him to try. You wouldn’t be here if that was the case. You want him to change your mind,”

Fuck. I hate being transparent. I hate when other people know me better than I know myself. 

“Did he send you here to spy on me?” I frown trying to change the subject.

Chase smiles. “He’s my best friend, Eden. Even if he didn’t beg me to try and pick your brain a bit then I’d still be down here with a PowerPoint on why you should give him another chance,” 

I get off of the treadmill and use a disinfectant wipe to wipe it down before tossing it.

 “I swear you guys are worse than gossiping females,”

“Guys fall in love to, Eden,” he notes tilting his head. 

I scoff. “Love?”

“Yeah. He loves you. He’s probably just admitting to himself now but he does. He wouldn’t have gone through all of that bullshit with Simon,”

“Simon?” I interrupt. “What does he have to do with this?”

Chase sighs. “Simon sees you as a friend. You guys are close. He takes your side no matter what. He just really wanted Jay to leave you alone. And you know Jay. He doesn’t listen to anyone,”

I groan. “Tell me they didn’t fight,”

“No, it was just a little tense for a while. I think he saw how much Jay actually likes you,”

“I gotta go,” I sigh wiping my forehead with my towel. 

Chase shrugs. “Just try not to hold it in and maybe talk to him. Or at least think about it, Eden,”

“I don’t have a choice,” I mutter to myself. 

The shoot with the groovy room boys comes and goes. It’s my first one on one meeting with a h1gher music artist. They’re fun and I’m laughing for most of the shoot. It takes my mind off of their boss for a few hours. After a while, it doesn’t even feel like work.

When we get back to the villa, everybody is busy. Some go out to explore the city, some make use of the makeshift studio set up upstairs in one of the more further rooms. I run into Jay, but even he seems busy, his phone pressed against his ear and sparing me nothing more than a small smile. 

I spend time going through the photos I took. I separate them between solo and group shots and send them to my boss in L.A for editing. This is one of our biggest projects and if it wasn’t for the fact that I had time to dedicate the week to shooting, there would be no way we could get it done by the deadline they’d set. 

I’m looking through my camera at the three guys. It’s not fair that they’re all just so...them. Jay and Chase are silly, playful in front of the camera making every shot I take just seen so light. Then there’s Simon. He laughs and jokes back and forth with the guys but there’s still a quiet presence about him that screams ‘I’m the boss,’. 

It’s weird to see the juxtaposition, but it works. All of it does. The old buildings, the deep colors surrounding us, the ocean in the background. It all works with the three guys. 

They pose without much direction from me and honestly, it makes the shoot fly through. For being only the second group shot, it’s going easier than I had expected. I’ve known for a while their all professionals but I appreciate it even more as we work on my planned shots and trade ideas back and forth. By the end of the three hour time that I blocked off, I’ve gotten hundreds of good pictures to choose from. 

The sun has gone down and none of us have eaten anything other than the cheese and bread we’d stopped for earlier. Chase is complaining about hunger pains while rubbing his flat stomach while Simon rolls his eyes laughing. “Should we find something on the street?” Simon turns to ask me and Jay. At some point, Jay had reached over to grab my camera bag and it’s slung on his back. He also has my camera in his hand, flipping through today’s work like it’s the most normal thing in the world. I narrow my eyes at the back of his head. None of this is normal. But I’m here already. I have no choice but to just deal. 

“These are really good,” he says turning to look at me. He catches me giving him a dirty look. His mouth pulls into a smile as he shakes his head. This must be really hard for him, not getting what he wants.  I’m promising to stick to my guns and give him no more leverage.

“I’m a professional photographer,” I deadpan. 

I don’t know if it’s me who matches my strides with his or if he’s slowed down but we’re walking side by side now. Our shoulders bump against each other with each step but I can’t find it in myself to pull back. 

“I miss your smart ass mouth,” he laughs loudly. 

“I’m just saying,” I say quietly. “I mean, you are paying me to take pictures. That’s like the main reason that I’m here other than a pretty cheap vacation in Rome,”

Jay sighs and reaches over to gently set my camera back around my neck. He pulls my curls out from underneath the cord and pushes stray locks out of my face. 

He’s always been attentive; pushing hair out of my face, holding my hand tightly when I walked in heels that were a bit too high, warming me up when he’d noticed goosebumps. 

“That’s not the only reason you’re here,” he says smugly. 

“Oh yeah?” I roll my eyes but don’t give him the chance to elaborate that he waits for. 

He takes it anyway. 

“You should know that I don’t mess around when it comes to you, Eden,”

“Yeah, except when we say no expectations, right?”

I don’t know where it comes from. He immediately recognizes the stupid promise we made when he first started to mess around. 

No expectations. No pressure.

It didn’t last. Maybe it’s my fault. I had expectations, hope for us that I wanted. And for the majority of the time, I seemed like maybe we were on the same page. It’s amazing what will come out of the dark when it’s time.  

“Careful Eden, you’re about a sentence away from sounding like you care about me again,”

I stop walking. He’s unbelievable. Yeah, it’s my fault that I thought that maybe there was something more than fucking after shows and alcohol infused kisses. I looked too deep. But, I will not be blamed for anything besides my feelings alone. 

“Please, stop talking to me,” I sigh. 

“Why are you being so difficult?”

“Because I’m very uninterested in playing your games, Jay,”

He laughs. “My games? I’ve been nothing but straight up with you. You’re the one who-,”

“God, you are so fucking selfish,” I say. I don’t bother lowering my voice. I don’t even have it in me to glance at Chase and Simon who’ve stopped walking and focused their attention on me. “Don’t you dare blame me for any of your messy shit,”

My skin feels like fire. Like I’m burning up. All of me. And it’s because of him. Because he doesn’t get it. Because for some reason it’s acceptable for him to be a child. It’s not my responsibility to coddle him, to spell out all the ways he hurt me when it’s as clear as water. 

“How am I selfish, Eden. I’m trying so fucking hard with you, and you’re giving me nothing,”

“I don’t want you to. I’m telling you that I want you to just fucking stop. Stop with the sly remarks about how you miss me, stop trying to win me back because I was obviously never yours to begin with,”

He steps closer to me, closing the distance between us. I see Chase shift uncomfortably but I can’t feel bad right now. Not when I feel like he’s cutting my air off. I shouldn’t have come. I can’t keep saying it because it’ll remain the same no matter what, but I shouldn’t be here. 

“You were never mine, Eden?”

I ignore his question and brush past him. He grabs my wrist stopping me. “Tell me what I did,”

A stream of everything I’ve been holding in comes out like a train going full speed right at Jay. I can’t stop it. 

“You’re a liar and you’re a cheater. You needed easy. And fucking twenty one year old naive me was so easy for you,”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Jay exclaims. His voice rises too and I have to resist the urge to shrink back. “I never cheated on you,” 

I scoff, shaking my head at him. “You’re right. We were never together. You can’t cheat on people you’re hooking up with. And technically, I never asked if there was someone else. You’re right,”

I walk past him. 

“The next time you manipulate someone into falling in love with you Jay, make sure your fucking girlfriend doesn’t come visit you on tour,”

I leave them all standing there. 

Maybe blowing up in the middle of Rome wasn’t the ideal situation. Maybe I could’ve handled it better but I’ve been a volcano for years now. It was only a matter of time. 

Ten minutes of walking later, it’s dark and I’m lost. I’ve also been crying like an idiot. I must look like a child. I feel like one too. Nothing looks familiar but I don’t have any particular urge to go back to the villa yet. 

“Hey,” It’s Simon. He’s been walking with me, quietly keeping his distance while I silently curse out his friend. “Why are you guys so dysfunctional,” he sighs jogging to catch up to me. His arm comes around my shoulder pulling me out of the way of a cyclist. 

“Did you know he was dating someone at the same time that we-,”

I don’t know how to finish the sentence. What were we, really? We weren’t together, the mutual promise of no expectations or pressure made sure that we got nowhere near labels. But it was something, right? Shit, I’m a mess. 

“No,” he shakes his head. “He wasn’t with anyone. He doesn’t date on tour. It gets messy,”

“Like this,” I say rolling my eyes. “But she came. I literally laid eyes on her when she came to visit him the last week of the tour and again when she was leaving. I didn’t know who she was until after the fact,”

“Eden, she’s just a girl,” he sighs. “Listen, it’s really none of my business but you’re hurting and that’s my business. He wouldn’t have done that to you,”

“How do you know,” I shoot at him.   

“He’s in love with you, Eden. It’s been two years, and you’re still the one he wants above anybody else,”

I frown, crossing my arms over my chest. “And I’m supposed to just pretend that everything is fine so that he can once again have what he wants,”

“No, you should work it out with him because it’s what you came here to do. Whatever you saw, talk to him about it. Give him a chance to explain himself and then make your decision,”

That’s all either of us say about Jay. We stop at a restaurant and grab a slice of pizza and share a cup of peach gelato, typical touristy things. By the time we get back to the villa is nearing nine and I’m tired and stuffed. I say goodnight to Simon and head upstairs. 

Kicking my shoes off, it’s not long before I’m passed out across my bed. It’s even shorter than that when dream-Jay comes back. This time he’s rough and frustrated. His hand moves too hard against my skin while his mouth bites at my neck. Just when his hips are getting ready to press against mine, my phone rings. 

I blindly reach for it, finding it somewhere near my thigh. 

“Hello,”

“Are you ok?”

I hate that it’s the first thing he asks me. I hate that despite everything, I know he cares. Whether it’s his pride or his heart, there’s a part of him that cares. The fact that it gives my heart a little hope lets me know how stupid I am when it comes to him. 

“I’m fine,”

“Eden,” he starts. He sighs. “I don’t want to have this conversation over the phone. Let me see you,”

I scrub my hands over my face. I’m so tired. I think this trip is about being done with him once and for all. 

“I’m torturing myself,” I say quietly. “I know how stupid it is for me to want to be here with you. Despite everything,”

He’s quiet, listening. 

“I’m making a fool of myself, aren’t I? Pretending that I don’t care, acting like I don’t want this even a little bit,”

I hear him blow a breath out. I’m stressing him out, I guess. 

“Let me take you somewhere. I want to make sure you’re good,”

“I’m fine,” I insist again. “I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier,”

“I don’t care about that. What you said, about you being easy, you know that’s bullshit. I can’t,” he pauses. 

It sounds like he pulls the phone away from his ear as he curses. 

“Let’s not do this tonight, Jay,”

“Then when?”

“Never,” I sigh. “We don’t have to do this. We don’t have to recount all that shit just so I can stop feeling sorry for myself,”

“No, we need to talk about our shit so that we can move forward. I want to be with you, Eden. I can’t spell it out anymore clearer than that. I want to leave here knowing that you’re mine again. Whatever work I have to put in, I’m here. I’m ready,”

I sigh, pulling my blanket over my head and kicking my feet like a toddler. This is frustrating. That he knows all the right things to say is utterly and completely frustrating. That I’m falling for it again is...frustrating. 

“Open the door, Eden,”

“What door?”

I hear him laugh softly. A gentle knock has me rolling my eyes. What he wants..he gets I guess. I pull on a pair of sweats and crack my room door open. 

He changed out of his clothes from earlier into joggers and a hoodie. The hood is pulled up over his head and his hands tuck in his pockets. I want to reach out. He just looks so boyish, charming. Like he’s at my window begging me to sneak out past curfew. 

“I’m taking you to the Trevi Fountain,” he says. 

“It’s like ten o’clock,” I whisper tiredly. If there’s one thing he knows about me, it’s that I don’t do particularly well when people pull me out of bed. As much as I do want to see the fountain, it’s fucking ten o’clock. 

“I know, Baby, but I want to take you to see it,” he insists smiling excitedly at me. 

I freeze at the endearment. I don’t know why he’s doing this to me. I mean, I do but it’s hard to build my walls up at ten o’clock. I can’t be held accountable for any of my actions if I go with him. 

“Jay, I told you we aren’t doing this,”

“And I told you that this is my last chance with you. If you thought this was going to be easy, you don’t know me,”

I sigh and close the door. My head leans against it as I put off making the decision we both know I’m going to make. 

“Bring your camera,” I hear him say through the door. 

I don’t know what pisses me off more; the fact that he just knows that I’ll come out with him or the fact that I immediately turn around and take my camera off of the charger and put an empty SD card in. I pull a hoodie on and a pair of jeans and grab my purse. 

When I open the door, Jay pulls my hand into his and leaned me through the house and through the front door. I’m looking for a car but he just keeps walking until he’s pulling me along on the side of the road. 

“Is this your way of forcing me to talk to you?”

“Mhmm,” he nods. His fingers tighten around mine and I don’t have it in me to pull free. 

“We’ll talk. Not about us. About all the other stuff,”

I need to hear it from him. I don’t even think he knew that I was aware of the existence of the other girl he’d been with until today. 

“We never broke up,” he says quietly. “And that’s my bad. I should’ve sorted out my shit before getting with you. I just didn’t expect to meet someone else. We never ended anything because at the end of tour we always ended up back together,”

He fingers tighten around mine. He lifts my hand to his lips to kiss the back of it. It’s too familiar. It’s the affection I’ve been craving for too long. 

“But trust me, when me and you got together it was never my intention to only have you temporarily. You were it for me,”

“But you did go back to her,” I point out, remembering him in my apartment almost six months after I promised myself I was done. All it took was one drunk call and he’d been at my bed in L.A, kissing me like he’d been starved. I woke up to his phone ringing, and her flashing face probably wondering where he was. 

Needless to say, that visit ended with his phone flying out of my door after him and more than a few choice colorful words. My apartment was a mess by the end of it and my voice had gone hoarse from screaming at him. 

“You weren’t answering my calls, texts, and she was familiar. I was terrible to her from the time you ended things up until the day I showed up at your apartment. I put everything on her. It wasn’t fair to both of you,”

We walk silently, both of us caught in our heads. He’s to blame for all of it. It’s all on him. He didn’t technically cheat on anyone. He didn’t technically lie either. But, unfortunately technicalities don’t matter when it comes to the heart.  

“I want to believe you so bad,” I say honestly. I do. I want to believe that he never wanted to hurt me, but the fact remains that he did. 

“I fucked up so bad, Eden. I’m just asking you to try,” he says almost pleadingly. 

I’m trapped. I can’t give him an answer right now. Not when it feels like I’m slicing open an old wound. 

“Jay, you pulled me out here to see the fountain. Let’s just see the fountain,” I say trying to pull my hand out of his. 

He holds me tighter and stops walking. 

“I need you to know that I never tried to hurt you. I mean I know, I could’ve been less messy but I chose you. It wasn’t even a choice really. The minute I met you, I was done. I’m-,” he stops mid-sentence. His chin drops down to his chest.

I can’t talk about this now. Not when we still have five more days to be in each other’s space. He must sense that we’ll get nowhere on the subject tonight because he starts walking again, my fingers locked tightly in his. We walk in silence for close to fifteen minutes before either of us says anything. He’s somewhere lost in his head. His brows curl together, his mouth twisting to the side. 

“I missed you too,” I whisper suddenly. 

I don’t know why I’m saying it. It just makes all of this even messier. I think when you care about people, truly, you try to keep them from hurting as much as you can help it. I know it’s what he wants to hear, or it’s at least part of it. I can give that to him at least. I want to erase the deep frown from his face. 

Jay stays quiet but he pulls me close, an arm coming around my neck. We probably look like a cute couple strolling down an Italian dirt road. It’s the most intimate we’ve been in more than a year. 

“What if we get robbed,” I blurt out. 

He laughs next to me. “The van’s been trailing us for a while now. You just haven’t noticed,”

I look behind me to see that a white van has indeed been following us. This is why he’s bad for me. He’s got all of my attention. 

“We’re almost there,” he says. 

“What made you want to come here so late?” I ask. 

“It’s romantic,” he says simply. “I’m not playing, Eden. I’m going to be the most romantic mother fucker in the world to get you back,”

“Why,” I roll my eyes pretending not to care. 

But I need this. I need him to describe all the ways I’m still on his mind. I want him to tell me exactly which parts of me still pique his interest two years later. We’d only been fooling around for a couple of weeks, but it was every day. Every day he spent hours telling me how crazy he was about my body, my mouth and everything else. 

The fountain comes into view. It’s too beautiful for words, and with the moonlight bouncing off the water, it truly looks like something from out of mythology books. I feel like a damn water nymph is going to pop out from behind the marble statues. 

I lift my camera and start clicking almost immediately. Jay’s in a majority of them. He’s leaning over the edge of the fountain, looking up at the moon, looking at me, walking toward me, reaching out to grab my hand. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he says drawing closer. 

“You have a smart mouth that used to piss me off and turn me on at the same time. You’re smart and passionate, and sexy as hell. We match in every way,” His hand settles on my hip as he pulls me close. My chest presses against his, my hand clutches the material of his hoodie for some faux semblance of a bit of control. 

“I need you in my life, Eden. I’ve seen myself without you, I’ve felt it. And I don’t want to do it anymore,”

He smiles suddenly, nearly knocking me on my ass. 

“I’m trapped,”

“And what if I forgive you, that doesn’t mean that we’re automatically in a relationship. 

“Last night, you told me we weren’t friends and at first I thought that I was ok with that because I was never interested in being friends with you,” I feel his breath fan across my mouth. 

He’s too close. I  trust myself less than I trust him. If these dreams keep popping up I think I’ll have to be on the next flight home just to keep myself from touching him. My grip on his jacket tightens as I force myself to keep my distance. 

“But,” He continues. “You don’t trust me. And if it wasn’t for the fact that you’re physically attracted to me, I’d think you didn’t even like me,”

Jay draws in a deep breath. I feel his arms come up to wrap around my waist slowly. I can’t tell him not to. All of my concentration has to be on not touching kissing him. 

“So we’ll just be friends for now. For tonight and maybe a little bit of tomorrow. I only have this week with you so excuse me if it feels like I’m rushing this a bit,” “Friends don’t take their friends out to the trevi fountain in the middle of the night and stand this close, Jay,”

He smiles and I swear my heart drops out of my chest and falls right into the water next to us. I’m doomed. It’s only day two but I’m in for it, I just know. 

“Best friends then, Eden. You’ve officially replaced Chase,”

“So we get to talk about boys and do each other’s nails?”

He lets me go and pulls back. I miss his body pressed against mine. I can admit that. I also miss the feeling of almost kissing him. I tuck my hands in my pockets to keep from pulling him back in my space. 

“You’re really a pain in the ass,” he laughs. 

I watch him push his hand into his pockets. He pulls out a fist full of change and gestures for me to hold my hands out. I take half of the pile. 

“I figured, why make one wish, right? One’s bound to come true,”

I can’t help but smile at him. I close my eyes and wish. I wish for small things like my hair turning out ok tomorrow, and for the lightning to be good for the CEO shots. But I also wish for big things like hoping we all make it home safely after the trip. I also wish for him. I wish that if it’s meant to be him, we can figure it all out. 

When I’m done I look up at him. His eyes are closed tightly while he throws each of the remaining coins in one by one. His pink lips move softly against each other as he speaks each wish into hopeful existence. 

He’s too pretty. Long eyelashes that almost brush his cheeks. Shard cheekbones and a jawline that cuts at a severe angle. I can’t blame myself for being a mess over him. I take a picture of him quickly before the moment passes. 

When his eyes open, he sees me staring up at him. He looks too good for me to look away. I reach out for him first. I wrap my arms around his back. This is what I want. I could lie to myself but it won’t change the fact that at the end of every day for the last two years, this has been what I wanted. 

“I’ll give you until the end of the week,” I tell him. “Convince me or let me go, Jay,”

His arms come up around me too. His chin rests on my shoulder as he pulls me close. His head turns and his lips press softly against my neck. “I told you making a lot of wishes at once would be a good idea. One already came true,” he says against my skin.

“What did you wish for,” I ask scared of what he’ll say. 

His lips press against my skin again and he takes a breath like he’s taking me in. 

“A chance,”

[deputy-videogamer]

Twins

Rook has a twin brother name Qrow. Qrow stayed behind while they went with Whitehorse now here she is stuck in Hope County. They only hopes that their brother won't get involved with the situation they were in, but things don't always according to plan

And thank you for @a-villains-refuge on helping me come up with these ideas.

Rook was already dying. Ever since they came here to arrest Joseph Seed things had been going done hill from them almost drowned, to being drugged, to being treated like an animal. But things aren't so bad they managed to get some pets that they never thought she could have and get some one of the kind friends.

Rook and their brother came here to Hope County to get away from the city life and move somewhere much more peaceful. They got their jobs as junior deputies and from there it was normal. Expect the fact the Rook was stuck here fighting off a cult that is obsessed with her joining them as a family or a soldier, while their brother believes they are dead with the rest because of Nancy.

Rook shook their head and continued walking with Boomer, Peaches, and Cheeseburger following her. They only hopes that their brother won't get involved with the situation they were in.

********

Qrow snapped another Peggies neck as he went behind them. It almost been a week since he arrived here searching for his sister. As much as he want to help hostages from the Peggies he doesn't want to cause a ruckus that might lead him being hunted. Prior of him being here he overheard Nancy saying 'Praise to you Father' he knew one thing only his sister is endanger, so he went on his motorcycle and race to Hope County.

A guy named Dutch found him up when he was on his island, from what he said Rook is building a Resistance against Eden's Gate which is working despite the fact she has been kidnapped or drugged along the way.

Dutch did the same thing to him when he first found Rook burn the clothes and get new ones. Dutch then told him Joseph doesn't know he is here, so it's best that he stay hidden for awhile. After asking him where Rook might be he told him she is liberating outposts, that was a start to find her, Dutch also warn him that their are search parties looking for her they can easily mistake him for Rook. After leaving his bunker he set out to find his twin.

Qrow hid the body in the bushes taking their ammo and some other stuff that might be useful for him. After walking further, he stumble upon a building that said '8-bit Pizza', Qrow went up to the place and knock on it. A few minutes later a middle age woman with dirty blonde hair wrapped with a hot pink bandana open the door.

"Well are you a handsome person." The woman flirted. "What are you looking for?"

"By any chance you know a person name Rook?" Qrow asked her, the woman flirty expression became serious.

"And how do you know about them because one thing for sure I never seen your face around here and there is no way someone like you is a Peggie." The woman stated.

"Relax, Rook is my twin." Qrow put his hands up as a sign of no harm.

"Really, no wonder you kinda remind me of them. I'm Adelaide one of Rook many friends of the Guns For Hire." The woman step aside for Qrow to walk in.

"I only been here for a week. How much damage did my twin been causing for the Peggies?" Qrow asked the group.

"How does rescue hostages, liberating places, and destroying a giant 'yes' and a statue sound." Nick told him.

"So a lot. Well no surprise there Rook was always the silent, but get to know them better and you hit jackpot type of person." Qrow chuckled.

"So you said you were here twin right?" Jess eyed him.

"Yeah, twenty minutes older." Qrow told her.

"Question, how did you even enter Hope County? No one can come in or get in." Grace asked him.

"Hacked a car that was blocking the entrance and blow it up." Qrow answer.

"You can do that?" Sharky grinned at him.

"Anything that runs on technology can be hacked to care to even a house with security." Qrow looked at him. "Oh yeah I never introduced myself hun? I'm Qrow."

"What brings you here Qrow?" Jess asked him.

"One of our deputies names Nancy was actually working for the Peggies, so came here and decide to find my twin. I'm not here to rescue them, but they all the help she can get if she wants the Peggies to stop." Qrow explained. "Speaking of Rook have anyone seen them?"

"Rook said something about liberating more Peggie outposts in John's region basically Holland Valley." Hurk told him.

"As much as I want to know what's up with the region's it's best if I find out on my own." Qrow got up and walked to the door.

"You need any help finding Rook?" Grace asked him causing Qrow to stop.

"I appreciate the offer, but no it's best if the cult doesn't discover that Rook has a sibling." With that Qrow walked, but had one more question. "Any advice on finding Rook?"

"If you see a dog, a mountain lion and and bear wearing a collar you found them." Sharky replied. Qrow looked at him in shocked wondering what did they do to get them.

*******

As Rook was heading towards the jail to help Dr. Lindsey with the Bliss problem, they notice that Whitehorse was talking to someone. Whitehorse spotted them and waved at them to come.

"Rook we found someone you might want to meet." The person who was talking to Whitehorse earlier was actually Qrow. Rook hugged him as he spun them around.

"Qrow what are you doing here?"

"Simple I found out that sheriff and his deputies were stranded here, so I decide all of you need help."

Rook laughed happily knowing their brother was here with them. But was also concern about Joseph and his cult finding out about Qrow whereabouts.

"But if Joseph finds out you here then-"

"Then it's best if I remain hidden when you and I are hunting down Peggies." Rook smiled it's nice to have their brother back. "Anyway that Sharky fellow said you have a dog, a bear, and a mountain lion. I wanna see them."

*******

Qrow was right. After a few weeks of staying in Hope County he manage to help them liberate more outpost and help out in the jail. But there is also that lingering feeling that Joseph and just followers will discover that Qrow is here and that feeling became a reality.

Rook was liberating an outpost in Jacob region with Qrow, when her radio came to life.

"Deputy, I think it's time for you to come home. Your training isn't complete yet, you need more than just doing task from that little band of Resistance members. What you need is to discover your try puropse." Rook started to breath heavily when they heard that. It means his hunting parties are going after her and if they discover that she not alone they're screwed.

Qrow grabbed their cap and placed on his head he, put his hair in to a small pony tail. Rook looked at him with fear in her eyes. Qrow doesn't know what Jacob is capable of and yet he is willing to take their place just for them to be safe.

"No..no..no Qrow please you don't what he can do to." Rook tried to get their cap back, but Qrow grabbed their wrists.

"I know but it's for the best." Qrow took their bow and arrows and gave them his own weapons before placing a kiss on their head.

"Please dont." Rook had tears in their eyes. They don't want their brother experience what they experience when Jacob caught them. The sounds of the tires hitting the dirt fill the air. Qrow softly sigh and pushed them towards the forest. Rook didn't want to leave him, but what choice does they have left.

Qrow watched as Rook flead the area, from the corner of his eye he sees the trucks. He placed his arrow in the bow then realising it, hitting the driver of the truck on the eye. He was about to shoot another arrow, but pain filled his leg. Qrow looked down and see an arrow in his leg, he laughed before passing out.

When Qrow woke up he found himself in a cage he was strip away from his weapons. In front of him was a man wearing an army outfit he assume this was Jacob

"You ain't Rook." He told him.

"Really what gave it away?" Qrow smirked, but Jacob grabbed him by the shirt.

"Where is Rook?"

"Wouldn't you like to know." Jacob pushed him back before ordering his members to sent another group of hunters to find them.

"Since you new here I'll teach you what Rook experience here." Jacob open his cage and grabbed him. Qrow smirked before grabbing his arm and flipped him over then using his belt to tie his arms at his back.

"Thanks, but I think I'll pass." Qrow ran out of the cage and tried to find a way out of this place.

********

Once Rook reached a clearing, they stopped running to catch their breath. They checked their surroundings to see where they were at. Only for them to realize they were near the end if Jacob's region and Faith's region. Their radio turned on by Dutch coming through.

"Kid are you there?" Rook answered him. "Holy shit, when these fucking Peggies told me they caught you again I was worried. But turns out they nabbed the wrong person. Huh advantage of having a twin. Listen for what I heard the your brother escape after tying up Jacob with his own belt, if I have to guess he either might be heading to Faith's region or John's region. Be careful now that the cat is out of the bag they might you use or him as a hostage." Rook sigh they needed to find him quick or else, Rook headed towards Faith's region hoping he was there.

*******

As Qrow was running away from Jacob region he got lost and didn't know where he was. He didn't have a radio on him to contact Rook or Dutch, but he had to find Rook and fast. But the only problem is that Rook went to Faith region he is in John region.

Qrow had reach a small town called Fall's End he hoped that he found his twin. He went into a bar called 'Spread Eagle' there a blonde hair woman was behind a counter.

"Rook?" The woman asked him.

"No, but that is my sibling name. I'm Qrow." Qrow removed Rook's cap and sat on a stool.

"Rook has a sibling?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, twin to be exact. Long story short I came here to help my sheriff and Rook."

"Names Mary May. So Qrow how did you end up here."

"Rook and I were liberating an outpost, when Jacob told them that he sent out his hunters after them. I trade places with Rook, so instead of them it was me who got capture." At that moment Mary's radio started to crackle.

"If there person with Rook is out there tell them we have Rook here with us. They went looking for you, but instead they found Faith. Now they are walking the path of the Father. If you want Rook back meet us at St. Francis Veterans Church we'll all be there for you." The radio turned off.

"That sounded like Joseph. Shit, Rook must've stumble upon Faith when they were searching for you. You gotta get them out of their state or they'll be with Joseph forever. Take the Widowmaker with you." Mary throw her keys at him. Qrow caught them and race out the doors.

It didn't take long for Qrow to find this place that Joseph was talking about. Qrow exited out the truck and walked towards the gate. Behind the gate was Joseph, Jacob, John, and Faith with Rook creepy humming 'Amazing Grace'.

"Rook! Rook! Rook can you here?" Qrow yelled at his sibling.

"They can't here you. They are close on seeing the Truth." Joseph told him as he went behind Rook.

"You son of a bitch! What did you do to them?" Qrow banged on the gate.

"Nothing, Rook finally understand the Truth. They walked the path." Faith held their hand as they continue humming.

Qrow needed to think of something quickly this might his only chance before he never sees his sibling again. When he touched his neck he felt a circular object on his neck, that when he remember his chip.

Before Rook and Qrow join law enforcement, they were nothing more than street rats trying to survive. They were founded by man called Hector he was kingpin and still is last time they made contact with him. Let's just say after an incident Hector let them go he asked them that if they want their chips removed, but they said no. So he gave them the remotes to their chips.

"Well, what's the reason why I'm here because I know for sure you already got what you want." Qrow slowly reached into his pocket to get the remote as he was distracting them.

"Its simple really Rook was our main goal, but after seeing you. We may have a problem meaning we also need you to join as well." John answered him.

"And if I don't?"

"Rook is almost at the gates Qrow. Do you really want them to be like this?" Faith grabbed Rook's chin to show them their eyes were foggy.

"If I join will they be like for good?"

"We want them to join us if they see you they then have no other choice but to join as well." Joseph told him. Qrow looked down at his pocket to see his remote in his hand.

"I would do anything for them. So please don't harm them." Qrow started to cry to make it looks like he's desperate. "They been through a lot and I don't want them to be hurt again. There were times where I thought I could protect them, but in the end they would always get hurt. So please if joining you Father will release them from this state then yes I would join."

Joseph motion his followers to open the gates. A Peggie had grabbed him by his shoulder and led him to Jospeh. Joseph placed his hands on his shoulders and put his forehead on his.

"Welcome to Eden's Gate child." Qrow sniffle a bit as Joseph wiped his tears with his thumb.

"I would say the same to you, but no." Qrow express became serious, he then pressed the button to active Rook's chip. Rook felt pain coming from their neck, they fell on the ground and screamed in pain.

Qrow then kicked the Peggie away from him and grabbed their gun. He ran up to Rook and slug them over his shoulder as he raced towards the Widowmaker.

"Qrow?" Rook said once they regain conscious.

"Hey, Rook listen we need to get out of here and back to Fall's End." Qrow throwed them their bow and arrow as he raced out of the area, but before they left he stuck out his right arm and flipped them off.

"You do know that they will find ways makes us join the cult now that they discover we are twins right?" Rook told him.

"I know, but the thing is they need to find a way on how to separate us again." Qrow answered, making Rook giggle before sleep kicked in.

As they were reaching Fall's End Rook radio came to life.

"Qrow and Rook the two if you are close, but at the same time you need each other. One can not live with each other and they will do anything in their power to protect them." Joseph said.

Qrow grabbed Rook's radio and answer him. "Cut the bullshit what do you want 'Father'."

"I sense wrath in you just like Rook. You must be free from your sins in order to join us in Eden's Gate along with Rook. John will help you with that as will Jacob and Faith, all of us will welcome you with open arms and you will be forgive from your sins." Qrow glance at Rook who was sleeping peaceful.

"As much as that sounds amazing the answer is no."

"Shame. You and Rook will see the Truth and once you do we'll be waiting for you answer." Joseph sigh off with Qrow stopping the truck and looked down at the tattoos he gotten back when he join Hector.

He was staring at one particular tattoo that was a skull with a knife going through it's head. He receive that one when he first protected Hector his first ever kill.

"No, Joseph. We'll be waiting for you."

[aaronhart93-archive]

the makeup ll Aaron and Alison

Discord thread featuring: Aaron & @alison-haynes

Mentions: @romanbeckett @davieslandon @malakhai-ozera @luca-regio @warmvlbes @jayceelynd

When: July 5, 2020

Description: Aaron and Alison make up after their public fight at the reception

Trigger Warnings: none

Alison.

It had been over a week since the wedding, yet Aaron and Alison were barely on speaking terms. Of course she'd sent him photos of Destiny while was gone, but other then that the two didn't speak. It was eating her alive inside. Throughout the week, things had changed in her life. She had spoken with Roman, something that Aaron would most likely appreciate if he knew. Also, there was something bubbling between her and Luca, usually Aaron would be the first person she'd tell, but she had kept it inside this week. Alison got out of the car that had brought her and Destiny to Aaron's home, and held her daughters hand as they made their way up to his house. Alison let them inside, and of course Destiny zoomed off to find her dad yelling 'daddy' throughout the house. Alison walked into Aaron's living room, setting the few things Destiny had asked to bring down on the sofa. When her blonde headed child returned to the room with Aaron, Ali forced a weak smile in his direction for their daughters sake. "Hey."

Aaron.

Destiny and Ali. He missed his family so fucking much while he was gone and was thankful to Ali that she didn’t hate him enough to not send him pictures of Des while he was away. Between Japan and Chicago, he had barely been able to see his kid and he missed her so much. He especially hated the way he had left things with Ali. He had been thinking about what he said to her the entire weekend, and GOD he felt so guilty about it. He knew he needed to apologize but he wasn’t sure if the pop star was ready to have a conversation with him about it yet. The businessman was unpacking when he heard his daughter’s tiny voice ring through the house, causing him to smile ridiculously wide. “Baby!” He screamed as he poked his head out of his room to crouched down on one knee and put his arms out to give his little blonde daughter a big dad huge. His kissed her forehead. “I missed you so much, Dessy.” He scooped her up and brought her into the living room where his friend was waiting. “Hi.” He forced a smile. The child hopped out of his arms and ran over to her play with her dolls. He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels. “How is she?” He asked. This wasn’t the conversation he wanted to have with her. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to be best friends again. But he didn’t know where she stood or how to bring it up.

Alison.

Aaron had been traveling a lot, which resulted in Destiny questioning Alison when she’d get to see Aaron all weekend. Thankfully, Destiny was used to her parents traveling, as they were both very busy with their jobs. So usually distracting the young child was pretty easy. As mad as Alison was with Aaron, she would never sabotage his relationship with Destiny. Even if that meant starting a FaceTime for Destiny. Alison shifted into her heels, biting down on her lip roughly. “She’s doing good. She misses you.” She mentioned. It had been trip after trip for Aaron, and Alison didn’t blame him for that. But their daughter really did miss her father. Alison usually felt at home in Aarons house, but right now, she felt out of place. Alison knee Aaron was probably hurting, between their fight and his break up with Roman, she wanted to be sure he was okay. Alison went over to their daughter, kneeling down for a moment, “Hey sweetie, can you bring your dollies to your room for a little bit so mommy and daddy can talk?” She asked. The blonde headed child nodded, swiping her dolls up and running to her room. Alison glanced to Aaron, “How are you?”

Aaron.

Aaron felt his stomach turn when Alison told him that Destiny missed him. He knew that, and he felt so guilty about leaving her to deal with all of his shit. The shit he had tried to avoid by not dating anyone for practically Des's whole life. He felt like he was prioritizing other people before his own daughter which was something he had always tried to avoid. Aaron watched as Alison asked their daughter to leave the room. His eyes followed the tiny blonde as she brought her toys to her room to play. He ran his hands through his thick hair and sighed. "Let's have a drink." he said, motioning for her to follow him to the kitchen. He poured them each a glass of wine before he started speaking. "Not good, Al." he admitted. He took a big chug of the red wine. "I miss you so damn much and I need my best friend back." he admitted. "I'm sorry about what I said, calling you jealous, and especially for telling you I couldn't help you have a baby that way. That wasn't the way I was planning on telling you." he put his elbow on the granite island and rubbed his forehead with his hand.July 6, 2020

Alison.

Neither her or Aaron had been in the right at the wedding. The fight between the two of them wasn’t either of their faults, it was something they had needed. They needed to get the feelings out. Alison followed Aaron into the kitchen, taking the glass of wine and sipping it. It was relieving to hear he missed her, as this week had been absolute hell for her in the aspect of not being able to talk to Aaron. He had been her person for a really long time, and not having him crushed her spirits. Alison leaned against the counter, “I think you were right. About me being jealous.” She said, sighing softly. “I saw Roman earlier this week. You guys broke up?” She asked. She had heard Romans side, but not Aaron’s. And she always heard Aaron’s side. Alison pushes a few blonde locks behind her ear, “And I’m sorry about that. I — you have every right to do whatever you want — it’s just, it’s been you, Des and I for a long time. It’s not easy to adjust to that changing.” She said softly.

Aaron.

There had been so much he had wanted to tell Ali. His break up especially, but also the fact that Landon and Roman slept together, his night out with Marissa in Manhattan and that he had hooked up with Eden in Chicago. His life had been eventful since their fight at the reception. He lifted his head when Alison told him that he was right. That never happened. Hearing her tell him that they had spoken made him both happy but nervous. "Yeah, we did." he said, hanging his head again. "For now, I guess. Er, I mean.. I don't know where we stand. He and Landon slept together literally the day after we broke up." he told her. His heart panged when he said that out loud. It still hurt. "I know, Al." he began. "The idea of you having another baby with someone else...it's just..." he was trying to find the right words. "Well, I'd be jealous too." he said, bluntly. "Like you said, it's been the three of us for so long and adding in another kid that's not mine makes me feel some type of way." he admitted.

Alison.

In life, things were constantly changing, especially in the life of the two successful people. They had both achieved their dreams, but they had done it with each other by their sides. Not having each other, well that sucked. Her heart stung when he mentioned that Roman and Landon has slept together. She wanted Aaron and Roman to be able to work it out, but with this new piece of information, she wasn’t sure that’s happen. “I’m sorry, Aaron.” She said reaching out and giving his hand a squeeze. Even though they had been fighting, he was the only person she wanted to talk too. So this talk, it felt refreshing. Alison looked down, grabbing her side slightly. The idea of having a second child was something she really wanted, she had always wanted that, but now that things were happening with Luca, she had a good feeling having a baby was going to be pushed to the back burner for a while. She breathed out, “Well, I don’t think that will happen. At least not right now.”

Aaron.

Aaron knew that Ali's life was not the easiest when it came to establishing real connections with other people, and that Aaron was one of the few people that Alison could trust. She was just Ali to him. Sometimes he even forgot how famous she was. He was always asked by other people, even paps, what Alison was really like, which reminded him that her job was not normal. It was hard for their daughter when Alison went on tour, they both knew that. They both traveled a lot for work, which is something that most 5 year olds don't experience. Their family was unique, and imperfect but it was their family nonetheless and Aaron would be damned if he let anyone get away with saying something negative about his girls. No matter what, Aaron would always be by Alison's side. So, why were they still fighting? Aaron squeezed her hand tightly. He hadn't been able to cry since he had found out that his best friend and ex boyfriend slept together. He hadn't really even talked about it out loud. That was something he would normally tell Ali. Now, he had it bottled up inside of him for days and he was finally letting it out. "How could they do that to me?" he asked her. "Roman knows that Landon is still in love with him too. I...just don't get it." He was looking down at his hands the whole time. He wasn't going to cry. "Did you decide not to?" he asked. He was a little surprised and relieved to hear her say that honestly. He had tried to talk her out of it briefly, but he didn't think that the blonde would listen to him anyway. "Why?" he asked, curiosity in his voice.

Alison.

It was hard for Alison. It had been a long time since she lived a semi-normal life. Of course when the pair were on rich kids and her music career was just starting out, it was much more normal than this, but not normal than either. Ever since, it was hard for Alison to trust people. She never knew who was in it for her, or just for the fame and fortune that came around her. But Aaron, he had been her best friend for a long time, and he was the person she wanted to pour her heart out to always. So the fight hadn't been easy on her, and she was sure it wasn't easy on him either. It broke her heart that Aaron was hurting. She knew he was, she knew he loved Roman, and this couldn't be easy for him.  Alison gave his hand yet another squeeze, letting out a soft breath. Then her mind flooded back to her texts with Emily just a few days prior about Khai sleeping with Roman. God, she hated that she had that piece of information. "I can't believe they did that." She mumbled, shaking her head. "But -- as much as it hurts to hear it, are you sure Roman is the person you want to be with?" She bit her lip, "I don't want to be the person to tell you this, but I heard, like two days ago that he was sleeping with Malakhai." She said with a sigh. Alison wanted to be honest with Aaron, and wanted him to be happy, but she didn't want him to end up hurt in the end, so she felt as though he deserved all the pieces of the puzzle. Now, now it was time to talk about her. Of course Alison wanted to grow her family, she did. For her, one child was never end game. She had been so sure that now was the time to grow her family, but then her romance with Luca started. "I-- I mean, I will have another kid." She told him, "Eventually. But not right now." Alison let go of his hand, making her way back over to the counter where her red wine was. She downed it, not being sure how Aaron would take this next piece of information. "Why? Well -- I have a boyfriend, Aaron."July 7, 2020

Aaron.

Hearing the news that Alison told him made his blood boil. “What?” He said, in complete shock. How could he do that to him? He slept with Khai again knowing full well how hurt Aaron was when Roman told him he slept with Landon. Now, he was doing it again and it felt like a slap in the fucking face. It felt like Roman was trying to get back at him for sleeping with Eden. To spite him. Make him mad. Because it was fucking working. Anger isn’t an emotion. It’s a response to an emotion. What was Aaron really feeling? Sadness. Loneliness. Hopelessly. And he needed some way to channel that. He took another huge swig of his wine before he opened his mouth to speak again. “He is.” Aaron agreed. “As much as all of this hurts me I still love him and want to be with him.” Maybe Aaron was mad at himself for letting Roman go. He shouldn’t have left the theater that night without begging for him to stay. So yeah, maybe Aaron was blaming himself a little for all his pain. He didn’t expect Roman not to sleep with other people and he couldn’t control what he did. Aaron watched Alison down her entire drink. Not typical Alison behavior. His eyes grew wide at her next statement. “Oh.” He managed to say. He was surprised to hear this. Had he really been out of Alison’s life for so long that he didn’t even know Alison liked someone. “Who?” He asked, looking over at her.

Alison.

Alison didn’t like being the one  to have to tell Aaron what she knew about Khai and Roman. “I’m sorry, Aaron.” She had expressed to Roman that she did want him and Aaron to work out. And if Roman was who made Aaron happy, then she absolutely meant it. But she hated knowing that Roman was sleeping around in spite of Aaron. She wasn’t sure that was the reason why, but it surely seemed that way. Alison nodded, “Have you guys spoken at all since the breakup?” She asked, not entirely sure where the two men stood. Alison places her empty glass down on the counter, unsure of how Aaron would take the news if her seeing someone. She had been friends with Luca for a while, and maybe even liked him for a while, but she hadn’t mentioned it to Aaron, as she wasn’t sure it would go anywhere. Then the night of her and Aaron’s fight was the night she had kissed Luca for the first time. She bit her lip, “His name is Luca,” she wasn’t sure if the two men had ever met. “He’s great.” She mentioned.

Aaron.

Aaron was still in some shock about the news Alison had shared with him. He heard her tell him how sorry she was. He processed it, but he didn’t know what to say. He just pressed his lips together into a line and nodded. He was thankful that she told him though. This was the conversation that he needed to have with Alison earlier on this week. He wished they never fought so that he could’ve talked about this with her sooner. “Yeah.” He began. “Just texting.” He paused to lean his body weight on his firearms against the counter. “And Landon and I aren’t friends anymore...” he trailed off. This was something that was laying heavy on his conscience. He knew he needed to talk to Landon, but he didn’t know what to do. “I said some mean shit. I mean - we both did.” He said, blinking a few times. Aaron turned the rest his hip on the island and cross his arms over his chest. He was so fidgety. He couldn’t stand still. “I don’t know him. But I’ll need to meet him.” He said, stoically. “I mean... I want to meet him.” He wasn’t trying to make it sound like he needed to approve of this man, even though he totally did.

Alison.

Alison loved Aaron. Not romantically, but in a family way, so withholding the information she knew about Roman and Malakhai didn’t seem to be in her best interest. She didn’t want him to find out later on that she knew about it and didn’t tell mention it. So she was glad it was off her chest now, even if it has upset Aaron. “Now that you are back in town, are the two of you going to meet up and actually talk?” She questioned, making her way over to the bottle of wine and refilling her glass. This wasn’t like Alison, but right now, she was enjoying it. “I know you’re upset with Landon — but is it best to just cut him out of your life? I mean shouldn’t you also cut Roman if that’s the case?” She asked, biting her lip lightly. The two were still a bit awkward around each other, even if right now it seemed as though they were making up. “Uh— yeah, of course you can meet him.” She told him, “And don’t worry, Dessy hasn’t met him yet.” She told him, knowing she had made a big deal about Roman meeting her.

Aaron.

Aaron sighed as he watched her refill her wine glass, prompting him to push his glass towards her and motion for her to refill his glass as well. "I haven't thought about it yet...I mean, of course I want to see him. But I don't even know what I would say. There's so much I need to tell him..." He looked over at Ali. That reminded him. "Actually there's something I need to tell you. please don't get mad when I tell you." he made her promise. "I fucked Eden in Chicago and um..I did coke with Marissa in Manhattan." he admitted. "I don't want to cut either of them out of my life though. I just didn't know what else to say to Landon. I don't know what to do about the situation with him. He's never going to forgive me, Al." he sighed. Aaron furrowed his brow. "Yeah, I know you wouldn't do that." It would be a real shitty move if Alison decided to bring their daughter around this man when he asked Aaron not to with Roman. "Ali I think one of the reasons Ro and I broke up was because of our relationship." he said bluntly. They needed to have a blunt conversation about this though. It was about damn time, and they haven't talked about how oddly possessive they are over each other. Even though it was pretty obvious at this point.

Alison.

The blonde reaches over, to fill up Aaron’s glass once again. “I mean, it’s not my business, but I think you should see him.” She mentioned, hoping she wasn’t being too forward, as the pair were still in a weird awkward stage. She was used to just speaking her mind when it came to Aaron, but at this moment, she couldn’t. Of course Alison wanted to say something about what he said, as neither of those things were okay. She took a deep breath, “Why?” Was all she managed to get out. “I mean — the coke thing, not so much Eden. I know why you did that.” Alison said, looking down once again. All she could think about was meeting up with Roman, and crying in front of him. She took a deep breath, “Aaron — what’s wrong with us?” She said, “I don’t want to be the reason you can’t be in a relationship with someone.”

Aaron.

"No, I know. You're right." He was getting to it. He just didn't know how to ask. And he didn't even know if Roman wanted to see him. The businessman took a deep, audible breathe in and out when the blonde told him that she knew why he slept with Eden. The fact that it was obvious to her, showed him just how much he needed her. How much she knew him. "I don't know, Al." he threw up his hands into a big shrug. "I just...wanted to forget about how I was feeling about the breakup and I thought that doing coke would help. And it did, just only for the time being though. Obviously." This was something that Aaron should have already know, but it had been so long since he was forced to deal with heartbreak that he forgot how to cope with it in a healthy way. Aaron turned around so that he wasn't facing the mother of his child. He couldn't look at her for this conversation for some reason. "I don't know, Ali. I don't think anything is wrong with us. We just...We're different. We have a different relationship and that's hard for some people to understand. It's hard for our partners to understand."

Alison.

Alison figured if Aaron and Roman went and saw each other, maybe they could work things out. All Alison wanted was for Aaron to be happy in the end, but she wasn’t sure how to get him to that point. If Alison and Aaron’s relationship wasn’t at a fragile spot right now, Alison would reprimand the man about using the drug. It wasn’t something she agreed with, but right now, he needed support. She let out a shaky breath, “Only the time being is the key there. I think the only way you’d get over him is to get some closure.” She mentioned. “Whether that closure is good and you two get back together, or bad and you choose to end it. Either way you need closure.” Alison mentioned, sipping from her wine glass. The two had a bond other people didn’t understand, and that seemed to get in the way for a long time. Alison fought back the tears that so desperately wanted to fall, “I know. It’s just— you are my family. But people don’t see it that way —and we can tell people all we want, but people will still believe what they want, and most people choose to believe we were in love at one point.” Alison said, looking around the room to avoid looking in his direction. “And if I am a major reason you and Roman broke up, I’m sorry.” She said, a tear slipping from her eye, “And if you two get back together — if he needs me — if you need me to take a step back then I will. But — you’ll be my best friend always, and I can’t stop being that person.”

Aaron.

Aaron didn't know what it would take to work things out with Roman. This had been weird between them since they had decided to take a break and Aaron didn't know when or if they would go back to normal. This conversation he was having with Ali was a start though. He knew she needed to be okay with Roman and Aaron dating and Roman being around Des for him and his ex to even think about getting back together. he appreciated that Ali's opinion was important to the actor. It meant a lot to him because her opinion was also very important to him. She was his best friend, the mother of his child, and someone that he would be so lost without. His family. "Okay, I'll talk to him." he agreed, knowing she was right.  "When do you think we need to decide? Jaycee and I are planning lunch soon and I think she's forgiven me, and now there's just Landon..." he trailed off. "I don't know if he'll ever come around though. Right now I think he's the one that's keeping us apart. And I know that sounds so fucked up and I'd never say that out loud to him because I know how that sounds but I think it's the truth." he was finally letting himself open up about this. "I love him so damn much, Ali. And I only ever want to be with him." he took a sharp breathe in, trying to keep his words from shaking. "Alison, I never want you to take "Step back"" he made air quotes. "You can't because you're my family. I think he was hurt when you told me that you didn't want him around Des. He cares about her alot. Almost like his own. You will always be my person, Ali." he said, moving towards her and pulling her in for a warm hug.

Alison.

The girl didn’t know how Aaron and Roman started, but the truth was, she had never seen Aaron so caught up in someone. She knew, in order for Aaron to find happiness with Roman, she would have to let him. She needed to be more open about letting him into their family. “I think you both need to talk.” Alison said. It was obvious to the blonde that Aaron and Roman were better off when they were together, and she didn’t want either of them to hurt. “I think you and Roman need to figure out what you’re doing. Have lunch with Jaycee. But Landon—I think he will come around with time. You need to give him time, and then you need to talk to him.” She told him. Alison ran her fingers through the faded pink in her hair, “I just — I don’t want you to ever feel like I’m overstepping .” She told him, another tear rolling down her cheek. “I know he cares about Des. I told you, I saw Roman. I talked to him.” She said. When Aaron pulled her in for a hug, Alison felt like she was melting. It was a hug she had missed all week. “You’re my person, Aaron. But I want you to be happy and if I’m in the way of that—I’ll have to learn to stop being so invasive.”

Aaron.

The businessman looked over at the blonde. "Okay, I promise." he told her. "I just don't know what he wants. I know what i want...I think." Aaron wanted to be with Roman more than anything. He knew that Roman had a lot going on and he probably wouldn't bring it up until after the rocketman opening night. He had a lot of work to do before then and Aaron didn't want to be a burden. "I'll ask him what he wants..." he promised, even though he wasn't sure he was ready to have the conversation. He wasn't sure if it was the right time...if there had been enough time for a break. "I know...I don't want you to feel the same way either, Ali. I...I just think that with Roman coming in...and now this Luca guy...A lot is changing for us and I think we might have a hard time dealing with this." he thought out loud as he squeezed her tightly. "But I'm so sorry for being a complete dick the other week, and getting mad about the paps. I know you can't help that."

Alison.

“The only way to find out what he wants, is to talk to him, Aaron.” She reminded him. It was true, Alison didn’t know what Roman wanted. When she had gone and met up with him, it seemed like he wanted to be with Aaron. But with the news of him sleeping with Landon and Khai, it made her think maybe it wasn’t what he wanted. She couldn’t be sure. “Roman probably thinks I’m crazy. I cried in front of him. Aaron. I told him I’m scared to lose my family.”she rested her head on his shoulder lightly, “But I know, our family is changing. Between Luca and I, and Roman and you—things won’t be the same.” She mentioned, “It’s okay. I know you were upset.”

Aaron.

"yeah..." he said, looking past her and taking a deep breathe to calm himself down. He knew that's what he had to do but he was so afraid of having that conversation. Aaron looked down at his hands when she told him that she cried to him. "Thank you for talking to him and being honest. I really appreciate it because you didn't have to do that. Say we do get back together, would you be fine with him being with Des?" he asked, hopefully. He didn't know what the chances were of him and Roman getting back together, but he felt like he needed to ask anyway. To know. "I mean, I'm willing to work with the change if you are?" he raised is brow. "Thank you for understanding that, but it's no excuse. I should never speak to you that way."

Alison.

After their hug, Alison jumped up onto the counter, crossing her legs. Aaron's house, was essentially hers too. She had always found comfort in Aaron's home. She let herself in and out when she came over, and helped herself to things in his kitchen. There wasn't many places she did that. "He's important to you, Aaron. Which makes him important to me. " She told him. She had met Roman a few times before she knew about Aaron & Roman, but now, now there was a chance Roman was going to be part of her family. "It wasn't that I wasn't fine with him being around Des. I just didn't want her to get attached, and if something happened between you guys - he just disappears from her life. You know? But, yes. I'd be fine with it, we talked about that too." She told him. Alison nodded, "I mean, I think we have too. We're not twenty one with a baby anymore. Our lives are much more complicated now." Alison knew there was going to be things about Luca that Aaron didn't like. If he found out that Luca had gone to prison, she knew Aaron would have words. "And I will set up a time for Luca and I to come over, so you can meet him. I really like him, Aaron." She couldn't remember the last time she had said she really liked someone, and she knew she had never said that to Aaron. "We both said things we shouldn't have. I think we should just leave it there, and get back to being us."

Aaron.

The man watched the tall blonde hop up onto the counter. That was so normal for Aaron, he didn't even think twice about it. That's what made their relationship so odd to other people. They would each just walk into each other's homes, each had a room in their homes, acted at home in each other's penthouses. Not a typically baby mom/baby father relationship, but he was happy with it. He was happy that they didn't hate each other, but they could have easily gone in that direction instead. Especially since Aaron was such a dick when he was younger. "I get that. Which is why I've been so careful with dating. But I'm so sure about him, Ali. I can't describe it." Aaron sighed with relief. This was one thing getting in the way of his relationship with Roman, and knowing that this was taken care of gave him hope that they weren't over for good. Aaron would never tell Ali this, but he felt like he needed to approve of this man she was seeing; like he was her father or something. But this was his family here and he needed to make sure Luca would treat Alison right.  "Alright, you just let me know." he nodded. Aaron hoped up onto the counter next to the singer and put his head on her shoulder. "I would really like that." he sighed.

Alison.

No one would ever understand the relationship between the two. Sometimes, even Alison didn't understand it. It could have easily gone in the opposite direction, but she was glad that the two had become closer after finding out she was pregnant. The two could have hated each other, it would have been easy to do so, but instead they chose to keep a strong friendship. And after Alison's career blew up, he was the friend she needed for everything, and appreciated that she had him. "If you're so sure about him, then you need to work it out. I've never seen you like this about someone." Alison hadn't. He had been in a couple relationships in the time the two knew each other, but never had she seen him so caught up in someone. Alison was nervous about Aaron and Luca meeting one another. She wanted Aarons and Luca to like each other, but the two were very different, so she wasn't sure how it'd go. Alison leaned her head ontop of his when he put his head on her shoulder, "Me too." She said, setting her hand on her friends knee. "If we're getting back to being ourselves -- there is something I need your advice on. And its a been weird."

Aaron.

Aaron couldn't actually remember a time he was like this either. He was crazy for Delilah and Aria, but he was so young he had no idea what he was getting into. He was blind to what love really was, but that he knew, he could feel that it was right with Roman. He just...needed to tell him. "Yeah." he said, half heartedly. She was right, of course. But Aaron didn't know if Roman was ready to get back together and he didn't want to scare him away even more. Or make an idiot of himself. The businessman lifted his head from her shoulder and looked over - blue eyes meeting "What?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

Alison.

Alison hoped that Aaron and Roman could work it out, but she knew her telling him on repeat to talk to him wasn't going to do much in the current moment. So she decided to just let it go, knowing Aaron would talk to her when he was ready. Alison took a deep breath, knowing what she was going to be weird. The two had talked about sex many times in the past, but it was about his sex life. Not ever hers. But that was because hers had been non-existent. But she was sure Aaron had just thought she kept her sex life private. She pushed a faded blue piece of hair behind her ear, "Sex. I need advice about sex." She mentioned, "Its been a long time since I've had sex." A long time was not the right term, as the last time she had sex, it had been when the pair had gotten pregnant with Destiny. "And -- if I do get to that point with Luca - and I want to get to that point ---, I want it to be good. I feel like he'll be expecting it to be great, and what -- what if its not?"

Aaron.

Aaron brows furrowed even more when she asked him about advice on sex. That was unexpected to say the least. He really didn't think that that was gonna be the next word that came out of her mouth. They were close, but for some reason this felt weird to Aaron. This was a foreign topic for them. At least, for Ali to bring it up in this context. "Uhh.. okay." he spoke. He knew that it had been a while for Alison, he didn't know how long and he didn't think it was longer than maybe a year. She was a pop star; she could easily get laid. He moved away from her to turn his whole body towards her, bringing his legs up on the counter and crossed them to he was sitting comfortably. Des better not see them up here like this or else she'll be crawling and falling all over this counter. "I mean....are you sexually attracted to him? And like...emotionally attracted to him? Honestly, sex is always better when you're emotionally attracted to someone. If it works, it should just come naturally. Quite honestly, all of my relationships started with just sex. And grew into something else. So I knew the sex was already good. Honestly, bad sex could make or break the relationship for me. If the sexual chemistry is off, then something else is probably off too." he told her, adjusting his glasses as he spoke.

Alison.

Alison knew this was probably a bit weird for Aaron, as he had just found out today that she had a boyfriend, and now she was going on about wanting to have sex with him. She did want to have sex with Luca. She was twenty six, and she had kept her legs closed for such a long time, the blonde did crave sex. And now that things were official between her and Luca, she didn't see it taking too long for her to get to the point where she'd be comfortable stripping down for him. "I am sexually attracted to him. I mean - damn, Aaron. Wait until you meet him. He's such a gorgeous man, it would be impossible for me to not be sexually attracted to him." This conversation felt much more like a normal conversation between the two, though her sex life was not a normal conversation. "And emotionally, yes. But see, I'm the opposite Aaron, him and I haven't had sex. We've kissed, but that is it." She nodded, "It's been a long time since I've been in a relationship, I mean, a real one. It's been since before Dessy, which seems ancient. I mean -- I haven't had sex since before Dessy." She mentioned, not realizing those were the words that escaped her mouth. Thats embarrassing. "I just want things to go so right with him. Every day I fall harder for him, and well -- I don't want him to be expecting something great from sex and then I let him down."

Aaron.

This was actually a domain that Aaron knew a lot more about than Ali. Which was new for Aaron. They were both very smart people, but Alison seemed to have her personal life together way more than Aaron did. Except when it came to this. He raised his brow when Alison called him gorgeous. Something Aaron could potentially be jealous of? Maybe. He nodded along as he listened to her. "Alison, if you are as emotionally and physically attracted to him as you say you are then I have no doubt the sex is gonna be great." Wait...wait...what? Back track. "Wait, you haven't had sex since *before *Des?" He knew damn well that Alison didn't have sex with anyone while she was pregnant. Aaron jumped from the counter, glasses nearly flying for his face. "Jesus Christ. I was the last person you fucked?!?" he exclaimed, completely forgetting that his kid was upstairs playing in her room.  Not only was he a little weirded out that the last memory Alison had of sex was with Aaron, but he was also shook at the fact that she was had gone nearly 6 years without fucking someone. He just found that absolutely mind blowing. "Damn..." he said, running his hands through his hair, trying to process what he had just heard.

Alison.

That was what Alison wanted, she wanted sex between her and Luca to be great. But, she was sure that Luca probably had a whole lot more sex in his life than she had. So, she was sure he had expectations of this perfect great sex. She wanted to be able to provide that, but she wasn't sure if she would be able too. "I hope so. I really do. He --, I want it to be great for him. I mean, I want it to be great for me too, but I want to be great for him." Alison said. Shit, had she said that out loud? She thought it had just been in her head. There was a reason the pair didn't often talk about her sex life. Aaron was a drunk hook-up after a break up when she was younger, and he had been the first person she had ever had sex with who wasn't her partner. Then, the pair ended up pregnant. Alison was more focused on her career and being a great mother for their daughter, she didn't need sex. "I--yeah. You were the last person I had sex with." She said, picking her wine up and downing the rest that was in the glass. She wanted to make up with Aaron, and clearly they had. "I mean, I got pregnant, and then my career took off. I didn't seek it out. I didn't need it, but now, now I'm with someone who -- I want so badly to have sex with, Aaron."

Aaron.

Well, this was an interesting piece of new information. Aaron had always assumed that Ali had had a couple hookups here and there. When he thought more about it though, that really wasn't Alison. That was *Aaron. * He didn't judge her at all really, he was just shocked. He was a little weirded out at the fact that he was her last memory of fucking, something he didn't think that he would never be able to find normal. Suddenly, he laughed. Because it was kind of funny. he wasn't laughing at her, but this was how they were. Poking fun at each other casually. Like the old Ali and Aaron before they fought. "Damn, son. If I would have known that I totally would have gotten you laid." he laughed again and went to stand in front of her and cup her cheeks with his hands. "That's so pure. He sang, laughing again. "I'm not laughing at you I swear." he mused. "You need to fuck this man immediately." he said, shaking her head a little then letting go of her cheeks. "I just can't believe that. I'm honored to be the last dick inside of you." he said with a cackle, and  a playful bow.

Alison.

It had never been weird to her that Aaron was the last person she had sex with. She believed that having sex with someone, was something that took time and you needed to trust that person. She knew that her and Aaron's opinions on sex differed very much, but that didn't matter. He could sleep with anyone, without feeling weird about it. Even though Aaron and Ali had been friends before their encounter, Alison had still felt weird initially after having sex. Hence the reason, she never hooked up with anyone afterwards. It would have been easy for the blonde to get laid, she was a world known pop star, she could have been with anyone she wanted. But it wasn't until now, until Luca, that she wanted to have sex again. "Oh, it wasn't that I struggled getting laid," She teased, shaking her head. "I think you are laughing at me." She told him, with grin. "Oh, don't worry. I have intentions to have sex with him, as soon as I can." She told him, and then glared at him jokingly, "You won't be the last dick inside of me for long." She promised.July 10, 2020

Aaron.

It really baffled him that she just didn't want to have sex. Odd, but he tried to respect it. She was focused on her career; which was far most stressful than Aaron's. And she balanced it so well with being mom he questioned if she would even have the energy to find a hook up at the end of the day. "Alright, alright." he took deep breathes to stop himself from laughing. "Hey, that's your choice. And I'll respect it." he told her. "My advice stands though...if you have the romantic chemistry it normal translates to chemistry in bed. So I wouldn't be worried about it at all." she smiled, hitting her arm playfully.

Alison.

It was never hard for Alison to stay away from sex. She just didn't need it. She wanted the next time she had sex to be with someone she cared about, and Luca was the first person she had any interest in having sex with in the last few years. She finally let herself down off the counter, "I'm going to hope it'll be great." She said, pushing her blonde locks behind her ears. "Thanks Aaron."