#funny textposts

[ralttsss]

There's more!

[anotherpjofan]

Ok wait what if new rome had a policy where swordfighting is like a social club until 21 which is when you have to be a legit part of the military till like 30 instead of having child soldiers. So then you'll have a 29 year old Reyna convinced Percy is a god cause a) he's carrying Juno, the first god in new rome in like 500 years and b) he's a child but then Juno introduces him as the son of Neptune and Reyna's all like

Reyna: Why are you here

Percy: To deliver lazy ass old ladies *jazz hands*

Reyna *muttering I hate kids*: Why aren't you in school

Percy: School's a bitch

Throughout the whole first week Reyna is desperately trying to make Percy go to school in New Rome which leads to the following incidents in no particular order

a) he kidnaps Hannibal the elephant

b) somehow managed to sneak out of school multiple times

c) organises a protest with the other teens

d) defeats Ovtavian (who's 32) in a swordfight in less than a minute

Poor Reyna's losing her mind. She already lost her fellow praetor and now she had to deal with a teenager who was acting out

this is when Mars shows up ofc and personally requests Percy to be on the quest and everyone's like...he's a kid???

Percy: I thought you'd be glad to be rid of me

Reyna: That doesn't mean I want a child to go on a deadly quest???

Percy *indignantly*: I'm almost 18... I think I still don't have my memories

[duskymrel]

why did they have to make Pennywise so yknow?

*dramatically sighs and puts my hand under my chin as i lean out the window fantasizing about the cute redhead watching me from the sewer*

[twinkdrama]

you know its funny. i try so hard to keep god out of the workplace and yet here i am. in the workplace. and i am god

[your-sweetest-nightmares-blog]

*Schoolyard bully voice* Gimme your pronouns, nerd.

[otto-serena]

Troy: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Lyn: You mean cards?

Troy slowly sliding a knife out of his sleeve: No I do not.

[cowboygirlkiss]

shoutout all the crouton enjoyers out there. no no not on your salad, silly. by themselves. repost if u be crunching on them buttery little fuckers like your life depends on it. i see you

[belltaviasbff]

jasper, seeing a banana on the car seat: what the HELL

jasper, putting a buckle over the banana: buckle the hell up it’s the LAW

[artemis-de-la-lune]

literally my two personality traits–

[knifefightscene]

[cyberiapinksosa333]

“wtf is wrong with you”

you mean like today or like in general?

[anotherpjofan]

The fact that Andrew Tate was arrested cause he couldn't handle losing to a teen girl is the funniest shit of 2022

[duskymrel]

do you ever want to gently take someone's hand and hold it to your face and lean in to lovingly give it a soft gentle kiss and then RIP IT OFF WITH UR TEETH AND PLAY WITH IT LIKE A CHEW TOY GARARARARAR

[twinkdrama]

its time to bang out the tunes in honor of neil

[writeouswriter]

The point of fiction is actually to put that guy in a situation™️, and he might try to tell you the point is to then get him out of the situation, WRONG, second situation

[otto-serena]