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#get this man some water Please
demigod-of-the-agni · 7 months
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the silly...
taken from this post from the spiderversemovie account on instagram
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wildbasil · 5 months
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group therapy (they make each other worse)
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roughlytwentytwofrogs · 4 months
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I need someone, ANYONE to see what I'm seeing.
Wyll x Rion (Jaheira's sassy daughter).
Okay, okay, I know, but hear me out:
Wyll becomes Duke, Rion ranks up in the Flaming Fists. They meet again some time post game because of their jobs. Wyll trying to woo her while she is just struggling to keep him alive through assassination attempts and other political shenanigans. He tries so hard to have a romance straight out of a book, except he fails to realize that he's the princess and she's the knight in shining armor (and she's very grumpy about it).
They're both idealists and inherently good guys; they both want to protect Baldur's Gate as much as they can and help people. They're a perfect match in my heart.
He'd fall first, because maybe she reminds him of Florrick a little and maybe he sees the good she wants to do behind the grumpy sassy facade she shows the world and the love and care she has for her adopted siblings whom she practically raised. He would look at her and see how fierce and intense she is and maybe he would notice the assassin coming his way a tiiiiny bit before he shows it but she's always there to save him anyways and she looks really hot doing so, so what's the harm?
And she'd fall harder because she would be convinced at first that he's another one of those 'heroes' like her mum who in the pursuit of greatness forget to be good people but slowly she realizes that he's actually not like that at all, he's a 20-something romantic and a tiny bit goofy guy trying to take an entire city's wellbeing onto his shoulders both to honour his late dad and because he's just Like That and oh my god he's kinda cute actually what the fuck.
Wyll gets to be like "That's my wife!" *kicks feet* and Rion gets to be like "That's my husband!" *punches you in the face*
And their happily ever after would involve kids (adopted or not), awkward ballroom dancing with his very much not used to it wife, and reforming Baldur's Gate and the Flaming Fists to do better.
Does anyone understand my vision??? Please???
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bassboosted-moon-chao · 5 months
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my friends dragged me into Moshi hell and as ever I got attached to the weirdo villains
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crowcryptid · 19 days
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Certified florida moment.
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#i hate it here <3#yeah man just keep pouring concrete on everything there will be no consequences just keep building yea just keep on doing that#hey @everyone did you know there are other places in the world#you can just go there. go there instead. stop moving here. do people not realize they are actively destroying this place by moving here#we do not need to cater to every boomer in 1 state#please. plesase. plseas. pls. plseas please plsea its. so .. crowded. please. drop dead already.#not going to post the full article (its not that long) but this shit was happening in secret#sometimes i wish gators were less chill. if they were like crocs at least some of the golfers would be taken as payment yknow.#if you want to cut down some of the rarest ecosystems you really do need to get deathrolled by a gator i dont make the rules#a large part of my hatred of tourists and transplants is because of things like this#they do not come here in good faith. they come here to see artificial bullshit which leads to building MORE artificial bs#or they come here for 'culture war' nonsense. importing the dumbest rich people as public service to the rest of the states.#the other part is that they are either rude or stupid almost every time#we do not need more golf courses. or malls. or water parks. or hotels. the only thing we need is affordable housing and public transport#but that will never happen because fuck you if you aren't a millionaire. thats how things work down here.#the craziest thing is- at least in the 2 (used to be 4) golf courses i pass by regularly. you rarely ever see a single person on them#they got rid of 2 of them because it was more profitable to build a shopping center on 1 and they are building a soccer stadium on the othe
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sunfloralchaos · 4 months
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Comparison is the thief of joy and yet
Im constantly on the move, full steam ahead with as much as I can handle and more so even still. And it doesn't feel like anything
It feels like I'm forever chasing some high that I'm not meant for. Some achievement or recognition that the thing that is my entire life is worth it
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narutomaki · 6 months
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I hate that I hate doing things in my own dude but it's so fucking boring !!!
#i dont go out to eat and i dont go to the movie theater so like the two biggest Default Hang activities are completely non-options for me#i dont like seeing movies in theatre 1) the local one sucks and 2) i cant sit still for over a half hour in a chair that makes me want to#become an arsonist.#ive been to Fancy Good Fun movie theatres and seen Incredible Higjly Rated films and still been like#20 mins in. is it going to be over soon? can i leave? please?#i like going to the library and shopping and walking down by the river and in the woods#but i also Dont Like The Beach because sand makes me want to become a fucking terrorist and the water safety index thing#sent me on a spiral sooo bad ♡ also im too body conscious to enjoy myself#the public pools okay excepts its expensive and over crowded 100% of the time#rock beachs are good i like swimming i just eugh#i also. dont like going to the gyms indoor pool.#its so fucking echoy in there i get a migraine thinking about it#i do like their sauna tho but. again. priced out of that experience! wahoo! also the stairs there are designed to torture me#i like eating outside i like picnics in theory i just cant get comfortable sitting in like 98% of places for more than like 30 mins.#at some point some part of my body is going to start hurting so bad i want to throw up.#i like playing video games and board games but i dont have any consoles or board games so like.#man. idk!#i hate doing things alone bcus i Was Alone for 3 years with my only social contact being my abusive family#i would speak to them maybe 3 times a month and get out of the house maybe 2 times and#idk! idk its just like! okay! im done being socialy isolated!!!#>every activity that you can do to hang out with people is unappealing to me or causes me physical damage#😭 okay nvm!!!
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just-a-mod · 9 months
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i'm tired
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mishervellous · 2 years
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whysamwhy123 · 1 year
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Any unpopular opinions?
(Sleepover Sunday, I guess, because I'm only getting to this now, whoops!) ALL I HAVE ARE UNPOPULAR OPINIONS, LOL. Seriously, I'm lucky I only have, like, seven followers because otherwise I'd be chased off this website with torches and pitchforks. I'll try to give a mildly spicy one and not to be too much of a bitch...we'll see...
Toni Storm's current character/gimmick is A THOUSAND times more creative and original than anything any man on that roster has done in YEARS. And the fact that she's not on this PPV card is a fucking travesty. But I'm not surprised because TK hates women, and wrestling fans simply do not show up for women's wrestling the same way they do for boring white guys doing the most generic, tired, old Heel 101 bullshit 🙂🙂🙂
Ah, fuck it, one more because I bitch about this every week anyways - that Nigel wanker on Collision is one of the worst commentators I've ever heard. He's so annoying! He spends more time putting himself over than the talent in the ring (literally the opposite of a commentator's job) and he clearly has no respect for the women because as soon as a women's match starts, he immediately starts talking about unrelated male wrestlers. Or just himself! And that's when he's not making pervy comments about them - dude makes JR sound like a feminist icon by comparison. I am uncooly judging everyone on here who thirsts over him. Come on, people, standards! Y'all gonna start thirsting over the Qanon moron next?
#Thanks for sending this in - sorry for going off and being a huge bitch!#*swirls my brandy glass from up here on my high horse* Why I could NEVER thirst over any random shitty white man in his forties! Poohoohoo!#*grumbles under my breath*#No I merely thirst over 20-something fuckboys who look like they have to call their moms on the phone every night without fail#So I really shouldn't judge but I am anyway *shrugs*#*looks both ways* OK is everyone gone? No one still paying attention?#Then a BONUS SUPER SPICY SUPER UNPOPULAR OPINION APPEARS! Read at your own risk...#Better Than You Bay Bay is some of the lamest shit I've ever seen#I already found both of those characters relentlessly uninteresting and/or stale but now they're so watered down it's UNBEARABLE#It drives me crazy how much TV time is dominated by this one thing#AND IT SIMPLY WILL NOT END!!#Max should have turned on Adam months ago then we could have moved onto something new but nooooooooooooooooooo#This thing has to DRAG ON FOREVER while the women can't get more than 30 seconds to cut a promo#Also it sucks how they took Maria out of the Kingdom just for this storyline#Because TK didn't want a GIIIIIIIRL getting her gross COOTIES all over his precious bro-tastic manfeels story#And everyone's eating this shit up with a spoon#Because nothing drives fandom crazier than two mediocre white dudes queerbaiting 🙂🙂🙂#....but like I respect other people's opinions if they enjoy it power to them! Good for y'all- at least someone's eating well#But I will never understand and I'll ALWAYS wish that a women's storyline could get half as much love and attention#....please don't hate me for this!#Is this my personal Gripebomb? LOL#*CM Punk voice* Contrary to popular belief I'm a very nice guy...
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majorplayer · 1 year
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i'm not sure why some people characterize rainmaker as shy considering her backstory involves her routinely walking up to strangers (belonging to enemy forces no less) asking them to play games and be friends. she's actually rather assertive seeing as how her immediate response to the toons' hostility at the pier is to stand up, face them, and defend herself in no uncertain terms with "I've done nothing wrong. I'm not sure why you want to fight me." she's even more assertive at the end when she says "Oh, don't play dumb with me! Lying only makes it worse. You knew what you came here to do." and "Fine then! If you're not going to show sympathy, then what's the point?!" like i'm sorry but she's not shy at all and i don't know what gives people that idea. she would have no trouble asking her server at a restaurant for more ketchup. wearing your heart and pain on your sleeve ≠ being shy
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keeps-ache · 22 days
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my brother keeps taking my dang water cup c'mon man ! !
#just me hi#i have a cup specifically for water because if i don't i will simply Not Drink Water#and that can go on for much longer than healthy so lmfvsh#but he keeps TAKING it to wash it. i don't have a problem with the washing but he doesn't bring it BACK#Please brother. i'll die. audibly. that last part will be purposeful and loud. please#/i also have a cup specifically for everything But water#bc you cannot just simply rinse or wash a sticky cup. you have to use some funkin Elbow Grease in there and i Hate That lmdhv#plus i don't want to be thirsty and then have to go through the Process every single time. like i said i will just die. audibly. instead lo#it Is a little plastic cup that my mother bought when my youngest siblings were toddlers but man every other cup hurts my dang hands so it'#My cup now ehehehgh#<- that's the Sticky Liquids cup. Water Cup is green :) and also yellow but mostly green :)#it was not the colour i wanted but the other one was an awful shade of pink (<///3) and i like being able to just Know where it is on my#table when i need it lol :3#'keeps what about the bacteria' listen. Listen Listen. i'm going to die. audib-#//anywho i'm gonna ship off rn lol#that $1.75 is really in my brain atm.. ourgh........#it's either that or the pink brain disease gets me again. and ooouh boy will it Get me i know it hgkkfjvsh#//^ looked up pink brain disease and it gave me results for mercury poisoning#that kinda checks lmfvshjgb#/okay NOW i go. POW [poofs into a couple dry leaves]
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gonzodangerfeels · 27 days
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I had to conduct a secret experiment in silence. I looked for Spanish flies, I looked for amore cocktail
No matter what I did not a single sound echoed in my lab. I tried retracing my steps. I checked my hood on my head, I looked for signs of fatigue. I made sure my mask was on tight. I checked the fucking weather, and it was popping lightning.
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kbwrites · 17 days
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Heated Waters
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synopsis: being married is hard, being married without seeing each other is even harder.
⚝ content: Hiromi Higuruma x F! Reader, nsfw, bathtub sex, fingering, Hiromi neglects his wife, but boy does he make up for it
⚝ wc: 1.9k
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“Yeah we do it pretty much every day.”
Satoru said, taking a leisurely sip of his water. His pale face alight with mischief, a shit-eating grin across his lips. His three coworkers stared at him in (jealousy) disbelief.
Suguru was the first to break the silence, wanting to save face “Everyday is a bit much, isn’t it, Satoru?”
Satoru chuckled, his blue eyes glinting with amusement as he watched his friend squirm. "What about you guys? How often do our married friends get it in?" His gaze flickered to Nanami, who cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses, his eyes fixed on the steam rising from his coffee cup.
“Twice a week, I suppose…”
Satoru's smile widened, clearly entertained by the responses he was drawing out. He then turned his attention to the oldest among them, Hiromi Higuruma, who was carefully straightening his tie, a subtle attempt to avoid eye contact.
“What about you, Higuruma?”
“Your wife, (Y/N) is a little younger than you, right? C’mon Higuruma-San…She a total freak?” Satoru teased.
Hiromi's jaw tightened, a flicker of irritation crossing his features as his grip on his coffee cup tightened. He took a slow, measured breath, his voice strained but controlled when he finally spoke.
“Please don’t talk about my wife like that.”
But Satoru, ever the instigator, didn’t back down. “It’s just us guys riiggght? And I can’t lie Higuruma, you’re one lucky guy. (Y/N) is a catch.”
Nanami nodded in agreement, as did Suguru, though both seemed to sense the discomfort growing in Hiromi. The older man could only sigh, his shoulders sagging under the weight of the conversation.
It was true—you were everything he could have ever wanted in a partner. Beautiful, intelligent, kind-hearted—his perfect match. If heaven existed, Hiromi was certain you’d be the only one worthy of it.
But long nights in the office, and early mornings preparing for court would take a toll on any relationship. The truth was… Hiromi hadn’t touched you in over a month. By the time he came home—you were fast asleep, and weekends were spent running the mountain of errands you couldn’t get to during the week. You loved each other of course, but it was hard. A month without feeling the warmth of your husband's hands all over your skin was starting to weigh heavily on both of you.
“You don’t have to answer Higuruma-san..” Nanami chimed in, sensing his elder colleague’s discomfort.
“Over a month.” Hiromi exhaled, the truth slipping out before he could stop it.
The room fell silent, the weight of his words sinking in.
“WHAT?” Gojo audibly gasps. “Your wife looks like THAT and you haven’t f—”
Suguru swiftly cut him off with a well-placed elbow to the chest. “Satoru… leave Higuruma alone.” The long-haired male warns. “Still, that is surprising.”
“I know I know..” Higuruma pinches his bridge. He wanted nothing more than to have his wife under him… on top of him. But the endless stream of work kept him trapped in a cycle of exhaustion. “I’ve been so busy I can’t even remember the last time I actually spoke to her properly.”
Suguru offered an apologetic smile. “Sounds like you need a break.”
“Sounds like you need some puss—” Nanami quickly elbowed Satoru in the chest before he could finish his sentence.
Hiromi shook his head, letting out a dry chuckle as he ran a hand through his dark locks, clearly frustrated with himself. “I appreciate your concern, guys, but I don’t see how I can take a break right now. I have so much work to do, and I’m the only one who knows how to handle all of it.”
“Higuruma-San. Satoru will take care of the paperwork for you.” Nanami suggested with a deadpan expression.
“HUH?” Satoru blurted out, clearly caught off guard by the sudden assignment.
“Yeah,” Nanami continued, ignoring Satoru’s protest. “It’s not like he actually does any work around here anyway.”
Suguru smirked, nodding in agreement. “That’s true. You might as well make yourself useful, Satoru.”
Before Hiromi could protest, the trio moved in unison—Suguru grabbing Hiromi’s briefcase, Nanami steering him toward the door, and Satoru sighing dramatically as he resigned himself to the task.
“Are… are you boys sure about this? I don’t want to burden you–”
“Nonsense! Go home and take care of your wife!”
Hiromi placed his briefcase by the door, his tie feeling suddenly too tight around his neck. He loosened it with a sigh, running a hand through his hair as he glanced around. The familiar scent of home greeted him. It was comforting yet bittersweet, a reminder of all the moments he had missed. The living room was tidy, the soft hum of the dishwasher running in the kitchen. You had clearly been busy, taking care of the house as you always did, even when he wasn’t around.
“Honey?” Hiromi calls out to you, his voice echoing slightly in the stillness.
Frowning, he shrugged off his jacket and draped it over the back of a chair before making his way down the hall. As he approached the bathroom, he noticed a faint light seeping out from under the door, accompanied by the sound of water gently lapping against the tub.
He hesitated for a moment, then slowly opened the door.
The sight that greeted him made his breath catch in his throat. There you were, reclining in the bathtub, your eyes closed, head resting on the edge as steam rose around you. The soft glow of candles illuminated the room, casting a warm, serene light over your features.
You looked so peaceful, so beautiful—that it almost hurt to look at you. The tension in his shoulders eased slightly as he took in the sight, but the guilt and longing only deepened. How long had it been since he’d taken the time to appreciate you like this? Since he’d been able to just… be with you?
You opened your eyes, gaze meeting your husband as he leaned against the door frame.
“Hiromi?” you murmured, your voice soft, almost questioning, as if unsure whether he was really there or just a figment of your imagination.
“Hey Honey…” his voice equally soft, as he took a tentative step closer. The warmth of the room seemed to wrap around him, melting away some of the day’s stress.
“You’re home early.” You muse, looking at him as you rested your arms on the tub. He doesn’t respond, just walks towards you with purposeful steps.
Hiromi stares down at you with half-lidded eyes.“The guys decided I need a break.” He paused, his breath hitching slightly as he continued, “Can I join you?” A playful smirk tugged at the corner of your lips.
“Only if you take off your clothes this time.”
A dry chuckle escaped his lips as he unbuttons his dress shirt, letting each article of clothing fall to the tile floor. As he finally sheds his boxers before settling behind you. You exhaled softly, the tension you’d been holding onto for weeks dissipating as you sank into your husband’s embrace.
Hiromi didn’t waste a moment, his lips finding the sensitive skin of your neck, placing lazy, lingering kisses along the curve where your shoulder met your throat. His breath was warm against your skin, his kisses slow and unhurried, as if savoring every second, every inch of you.
His hands weren’t idle either, tracing gentle patterns along your stomach, moving upwards to cup your breasts with a tenderness that made your breath hitch. He nipped lightly at your earlobe, his voice a husky murmur, “I’ve missed you… more than you know.”
“Missed you too ‘Romi..” Your voice trembling as the almost foreign heat began to pool in your core.
Deft fingers teased your nipples, rolling and pinching—eliciting a soft moan from your lips as your body arched into his touch. Your hand reached back, tangling in his dark locks, pulling him closer as his lips traveled down to your shoulder, his other hand snaking under the water to your aching cunt.
���ahhhh… s-shitt..” You cry out as Hiromi’s fingers slowly circle your swollen bud. His touch light, teasing.
“Thirty-two days… I’m so sorry m’love.” He mumbles into your shoulder as he slips a slender digit into your entrance. Your walls flutter immediately around the intrusion, as he gently pumped into you.
He adds another finger, curling up to the spot he had neglected all those weeks. He extended his thumb to rub your clit. You arch your back against him, feeling his cock twitch against your ass.
“Hiro…” you moan, reaching behind for him, but he bites down lightly on your shoulder.
“Not yet, pretty girl, want you t’cum first okay?”
He whispers as he feels your gummy walls clench around him.
He speeds up his ministrations, digits stuffing your cunt as your pussy throbs and squelches. Your whimpers echo around the tiled walls, water lapping around your bodies.
You feel the pressure building as each thrust of his long fingers brush against your g-spot.
“g-gonna cum!”
“Cum f’me sweetheart please—god… need it so bad.” Hiromi mumbles as he pumps even faster.
“a-ahh!” you cry as you reach your high, walls clenching as you cum on your husband’s hand. He removes his fingers from you, moving to gently circle your clit as you come down from your orgasm.
You both stay there for a moment, your heavy breathing the only sound occupying the space, mingling with the gentle slosh of water against the porcelain tub. Hiromi’s arms wrapped securely around your waist, pulling you closer.
Slowly, he lifted you, the warm water swirling around you both as he maneuvered you to face him, settling you on his lap. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, your knees pressing against the cool sides of the tub.
You straddled Hiromi, your bodies now fully aligned, chest to chest. Your husband's dark, half-lidded eyes bore into yours, his expression a mixture of raw need and unspoken tenderness. He let his hands rest on your waist for a moment, thumbs tracing gentle circles against your damp skin as he took in the sight of you.
“I don’t know how I’ve stayed away from you for so long…” his voice breaking slightly as if the admission pained him.
Your breath hitched as you shifted slightly in his lap, feeling the tension between you intensify. Hiromi’s hands slid up your sides, his touch deliberate and slow, leaving a trail of heat in their wake as his lips finally found yours. The kiss was deep, full of hunger that had been simmering between you both for far too long.
His grip on your waist tightened as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding against yours in a dance that left you dizzy with need.
Breaking the kiss, Hiromi leaned his forehead against yours, his breath coming in shallow gasps.
“I won’t make that mistake again.”
Without a word, he rose from the tub, lifting you effortlessly into his arms. Water cascaded down your bodies, pooling at your feet as he carried you toward the bedroom, his lips trailing wet kisses down the side of your neck.
He laid you gently onto the bed, your back sinking into the soft silken sheets, but Hiromi didn’t waste any time. His gaze darkening as he climbed over you, his body hovering just above yours, his eyes drinking you in like a man starved.
“I’m going to make up for every second I’ve missed.”
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foldingfittedsheets · 2 months
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The mattress company I worked for the first time no longer exists. It was long ago eaten and assimilated by a bigger company. But when I started it was an incredibly intense five weeks of training. I was told I was extremely lucky to be selected, and I was. From a pool of a hundred applicants only fifteen of us made the cut to entering the training program.
The course covered how to talk to customers, how to ask open ended questions, how to close a sale, and product knowledge. I learned a lot, and truthfully my greatest takeaway was a lot of social scripts that I could use in other areas of my life.
We also had a midterm exam and a final. Both included a roleplay element with a trainer and a written portion. They told us when we started that the course was challenging but it was still a shock to come in after the midterm and realize half the class had failed.
I was named valedictorian of training- a dubious honor as it meant I’d done the best in the class, but popular lore had it that valedictorians struggled the most on the sales floor. Lo, I struggled.
Not because I wasn’t good. I was. But because my manager set out to systematically destroy my self esteem. Every sale, every interaction I had was scrutinized and criticized.
If I sold a bed with protectors, moveable base, and pillows he’d ask why I hadn’t managed to sell pillow protectors too. His first trainee had thrived on being challenged and he’d never bothered to learn a different way to coach.
It was wretched. My performance started strong but nosedived after a few weeks with him. My trainer, a man I loathed for stonewalling me in my interview, came in to inform me I was on new hire probation. If I couldn’t get my sales numbers up I’d be let go.
His actual phrasing was, “When you have a bandaid do you like to rip it off or pull it slowly?”
Since it was eminently obvious why he was visiting and because I thought it was condescending I sweetly informed him that I liked to soak my bandaids in hot water so they come off on their own.
He was briefly startled at this derailing but then got on with the bad news. I signed some forms stating that I understood my job was in peril.
I went home furious. I thought long and hard about why I wasn’t succeeding and how frustrated I was with my manager. I came in the next day and my anger had crystallized into a cold sharp edge.
My manager opened his mouth to address the probation and I snapped, “Just leave me alone. Go in the back if I have a sale. If you must address a serious issue then you will give me praise on two things I did right and present it as a compliment sandwich. Otherwise just say good job and shut up. Your constant nitpicking just makes me anxious and I do worse. Back off.” Belated and begrudging I added, “Please.”
He raised his eyebrows in dim surprise but I’d gauged him well. He backed off. Dutifully he’d meander into the back when I had a sale and praised me when I closed it. I resented knowing it was only because I’d demanded complimented but they still boosted me up. My numbers skyrocketed, I landed my first split king sale, and I exited probation with flying colors.
The trainer came back in to congratulate my manager for turning things around. To my gratification he gave me credit for setting him straight and said I’d taught him a different way to lead. My manager would often genuinely praise that moment when I’d stood up to him, impressed with my stubborn refusal to fail and my insight into what would help.
My biggest takeaway from the whole thing was just that people need positive reinforcement to succeed. Praise people for doing a good job. If you’re ever in a position where you need to criticize someone put it in a compliment sandwich instead of just saying the negative.
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deadsetobsessions · 7 months
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Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt.3
[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7] [Pt.8] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]
“Aquaman.” Batman swept into the room, beelining straight for the suddenly apprehensive Atlantean king.
“Batman. What can I do for you?”
“Phantom. Does he pay taxes?”
“Pardon?”
Batman makes a low noise that had Aquaman’s danger senses buzzing.
“Does Phantom have to pay taxes. Towards Atlantis.”
“No…? Why?”
“He wanted money, in exchange for… information, of a delicate sort,” Batman said, diplomatically avoiding the topic of Phantom bargaining for the identities of corpses in exchange for a measly $100 dollars per identity. Like a flea market dealer, that one was.
“You encountered Phantom again?” Aquaman perked up.
“Yes. Gotham’s bay is… polluted.” Batman paused. “With victims. Of murder.”
The entire area quieted as heads turned towards the Dark Knight.
“Yes, I am… distantly aware of Gotham’s waters.” By that, Aquaman gets green around the gills whenever he turns his awareness in that direction. There’s a reason he doesn’t enter Gotham, and the Dark Knight’s ban is only half of that reason. “Ah, but you’re correct. For what purpose would Phantom need mortal currency?”
“Hn.”
“Maybe he needs some stuff?” Flash zipped to a stop next to Batman, feet tapping as he dug into the pile of snacks cradled in his arms. “Us mortals are always coming up with new things, maybe he wants to try some games or something?”
Batman tilted his head down, seriously considering Flash’s suggestion. “It’s plausible.”
“Barry, Barry, Barry. He’s old as hell, right? He probably wants to try the new booze!”
“Hal, my man!” Flash fist bumped Green Lantern, who came up. “You’re back! What happened to John?”
“Dunno. He got called somewhere that way,” Green Lantern waved a vague hand towards the left. “Had to deal with a politician or something from that area.” He shrugged, swinging an arm over Barry’s shoulders to put him in a headlock and stealing a chip.
“Huh. Anyways, would our mortal alcohol even work on a demi-god or something?”
“We should ask!” Hal turned towards Batman. “You should ask if he wants to go for a drink, spooky!”
“He’s a child.”
“He’s been around for more than a millennia, Bats.”
“Informational gathering, right, Hal?” Flashgot out of the headlock, quickly munching on his snacks to stop Green Lantern from stealing them.
“Totally. Yup.”
“…Fine.”
“Wait, are we just gonna ignore that Gotham’s waters are full of bodies?”
“Yes.”
——
“What?” Danny asked, mind half on the bags he’s dragging out of the water and the other half on the essay he has to submit in about four hours.
“Green Lantern wanted to invite you out for a drink.”
Danny turned to the stoic Gotham knight, who had his wrist computer out to log the bodies’ info the moment Danny gave him the information. Some of them even told Danny who murdered them, so Batman could start building cases with solid leads.
Danny’s only twenty. He’s not legal yet but he doesn’t want to give any clues to who he is. How is he supposed to…
Ah!
“Can’t.” Danny shrugged. “I’m not legal. I died when I was fourteen so…” Danny trailed off, speechless at the drowned puppy face Batman was giving him. What the fuck.
“Anyways, fork over my payment.”
Batman wordlessly hands him a wad of hundreds.
“What do you need cash for?” Batman suddenly asked.
“Huh? Isn’t it obvious?” Danny tucked it in. “Material things, obviously. I need a blanket,” because holy shit, Gotham is damn cold this time of year. “Anyways, see you same time next week, litterer.”
“I don’t litter.”
“Tell that to the batarangs I found under the water,” Danny grumbled. “But I’ll stop calling you that if you get a signature from Poison Ivy. I have a friend who loves her.”
“An alive friend?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy?”
Danny snickered and disappeared. He’s gotta cram that essay.
——
“There’s a possibility Phantom might be homeless.”
“Batman, I mean this in the nicest way, but for the love of Atlantis, please stop giving me headaches. It’s time like these I wish I stayed a lighthouse keeper.”
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