#give shadow actual emotions please I am begging you

[xerozero87]

saw an article this afternoon titled ‘sonic the hedgehog fans want to see maria die in the third movie’ and you know what? yeah, a lot of us do, and for good reason.

one of the most important things about maria’s death is that it’s not just a death for the sake of death. she doesn’t die for no reason. her death makes sense within the canon of sa2 as a self contained story. even if shadow actually died at the end of that game like originally planned and we never got to see more of his backstory, never got a more fleshed out past for him, maria’s death would still make sense. it doesn’t come out of nowhere and have no actual impact on the characters or story like a lot of other side character deaths.

maria’s death shapes shadow as a character in sa2 and shadow the hedgehog 2005, it causes him to make the decisions he makes, gives him his motives, his drive, his worldview. shadow may have been physically made in a lab by gerald robotnik and black doom, but he was built and shaped emotionally and mentally by maria and her death. he has the opinions he has about the world and humanity because of maria’s death at the hands of the gun soldiers, and he takes certain actions because of those views. he saves rouge in sa2 because he couldn’t save maria, at the end of the same game he sacrifices himself for the safety of the planet and the life on it because of the promise he made to her before she died.

maria’s death isn’t just important to shadow’s character and story either, it contributes to more within the full canon of the franchise. it’s because of maria’s death that gerald robotnik makes the ark head towards the planet so that, even beyond the grave, he can have his revenge, he can avenge his granddaughter. it’s because of maria’s death that shadow is able to change his opinions and views later on, in spite of his trauma and history, and can work with sonic to defeat the biolizard and help save the world. not to mention, it’s because of maria that shadow exists in the first place, it wouldn’t make sense to end their story together without actually seeing her die.

most fans probably haven’t seen maria actually die anyway. sure, they may have seen the original animation planned for shadow the hedgehog 2005, or the censored static version in the final game, or may have seen the scene in sa2 (I believe) where she sends shadow to earth, but for the most part, fans have not seen maria’s actual death, only the moments before. in recent years, it’s become a rule of storytelling that viewers shouldn’t believe a character is dead until they see a body or the moment the character dies. if they really want to send the message that maria is dead, that people do get affected by things that happen in the sonic franchise story, if they want this to hit as hard as it should, then fans need to see that maria is dead without a doubt.

in other vein, the sonic movies are to reignite old love for the franchise and to introduce younger people to sonic. these younger and newer fans aren’t likely to know the full story of the games if they’re just being introduced to sonic now. they deserve to know the full story the same as the game fans do, even if the timeline has become incredibly convoluted and it’s difficult to tell just what games, comic series, etc. are canon, and considering that (at least as far as I know) the movies are reasonably close to game canon while tweaking some things appropriately for the different setting (ie., introducing tom, maddie, wade, stone, etc. and making them actual, at least semi-important characters, changing robotnik’s motives in the first movie, stuff like that), so it wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense to suddenly divert from something so important in game canon.

personally, I’m also part of the camp who want to see shadow portrayed the way he was back in sa2, not his more recent characterisation. since the second movie treated knuckles with the respect that sega has lacked for a while, and showed him more in line with his original portrayal - naive and misplacing his trust in robotnik, a proud warrior who knows what he’s doing for the most part, a character with his own responsibilities and drive and trauma, someone with an actual personality who isn’t just there to be the comedic punching bag - it isn’t too much to ask for shadow to be treated the same, is it? sure, he was never the most kind character in the franchise, but he also wasn’t originally just the edgy asshole of the group who didn’t actually like anyone. his friendships meant a lot to him back then, with maria and later with rouge and omega. we want to see shadow have actual emotions, real motives, and showing maria’s death as it happened instead of censoring it too heavily or cutting away so we don’t see it at all would remove any possibility of that.

shadow himself is such an important character in the sonic franchise canon. not including his main drive and motive, not fully telling his story and fleshing him out properly like everyone else in the movies, would not only make no sense, but would also be a huge slap in the face for shadow and his fans.

there are some brilliant videos out there that talk about shadow’s character, motives, development, etc. in more detail and better than I could, so I’ll be leaving a couple here for anyone who’s interested.

tl;dr: shadow’s story hinges on maria’s death, and if we don’t actually get to see that happen, then the third movie and shadow’s involvement in it will not have as much of an effect as they should. shadow deserves the same respect the other established sonic characters got.

thank you to anyone who read this. I’m sorry if it’s way too long, if there are a bunch of typos, if it loops a whole bunch or drives points until they become redundant, I’m typing this in a bit of a rush just because I want to get it out there and empty out all my thoughts on this so I don’t forget many. if I did miss anything, feel free to add it on. thank you again. have a good day.

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

the past is best in the past - CH 1

Word Count - 844

Summary - What happens if after years of hiding Quinn finally finds you.

Warnings - mentions of running from the past but no specifics

Author's Note - I'm gonna be serious with you guys when I say I have no idea what this is and I definitely left it very open ended. If you guys want I can continue this as a little serious vs a blurb which is what it is right now.

Next Chapter

Living in Vancouver was supposed to be a new beginning for you. Vancouver was supposed to be the answer to your nightmares. Vancouver was supposed to be a fresh start, somewhere no one knew you, knew your family, knew your past. Living here since you were 18 in pure bliss of your new identity so imagine your surprise when the boy who was your first love walks into the bar that you work at and he catches you off guard while your in the middle of cashing someone out and trying to grab a new bottle of rum for someones drink they ordered. 

“Y/N/N” Quinn speaks in an unsure tone, as if he’s just seen a ghost. Freezing at the fact someone has called you by a nickname that your brain doesn’t even respond to anymore,in fact, no one has done that in almost 7 years. Turning around you make eye-contact with your Quinn. Quinn who once upon a time was yours you remind yourself but not anymore. 

Squinting your eyes to make sure it isn’t some sick kind of trick your mind is playing on you and that it is in fact Quinn leaning forward almost half over the bar. “Actually it’s just Y/N now. No one calls me that anymore Quinn.” Try to make your voice as flat as possible, as if you aren’t affected by seeing the man in front of you. 

“Right. Sorry - uh - um. What are you doing here?” Quinn wasn’t as good as hiding his emotions about seeing you - who practically is a ghost of his past in front of him after so many years. Suddenly retreating back to the shy nervous boy you knew all those years ago, despite looking so much older now with his 5 o’clock shadow and sharper features. 

“Working Quinn. Now either order something or leave before my boss starts asking questions as to why you aren’t.” Rolling your eyes, as you finish making the rum and coke and walking off to hand it to the middle-age woman who ordered it. Walking back to Quinn it’s as if he has finally processed your words as you give him ‘what the fuck are you gonna do’ look. 

“Right - uh - I’ll have a - uh - miller on draft please.” he asks, his hands going into his front pockets as he bounces on his feet. ‘Somethings never change’ you think to yourself because that was his tell growing up that his anxiety was growing. Part of you hated yourself for being the reason you were giving him anxiety now, none of this was his fault. 

“Here.” As you hand him the beer you just finished pouring. “Are you gonna start a tab or cash out?” you ask looking at him in the eyes for the first time since he called your name, your breath catching. 

“Here tab.” As he hands you his card to keep for the night. “Hey Y/N/N. Sorry Y/N.”

“Yeah Quinn?” your voice is much quieter now as your nervousness is starting to get to you. 

“Why’d you leave me?” His voice breaking at his own question, taking a deep breath to try and keep his emotions at bay. 

“I can’t do this right now at work. But Quinn I never left you, I left that town.” feeling your eyes threaten to spill with tears. 

“But I was in that town.” he argues, his voice defensive, his face becoming hard as the anger is starting to take over as his body works through the floodgates of emotions of seeing you. 

“And I am sorry. But it was killing me being there and I needed to choose myself and I am sorry that wasn’t you. I am. But you deserved better and you still do. I can’t do this. I gotta get back to work. I guess see ya around Quinn.”  Turning around trying to go to the other side of the busy bar where your coworkers are running around each other. 

“Wait how long? How long have you been in Vancouver?” he begs to know the answer. 

Taking a deep breath you decide to tell him the truth because maybe that will help him. Maybe that will help him move on, which you know he hasn’t because Jack still talks to you once a year. He doesn’t know where you live but he calls you on your birthday, and he tells you how everyone is. He told you how Quinn never really moved on, and maybe this terrible ugly truth will help him realize the truth. The one ugly truth you have known since the beginning, someone as good as Quinn Hughes was never supposed to be with someone as terrible and broken as you. Letting your deep breath out that you didn’t realize you were holding you answered, “ Quinn I’ve been in Vancouver since before you were even drafted.” Turning around fully because even if you felt like you deserved it, you couldn’t stomach watching Quinn sit his beer down and walk out of the bar.

[klausysworld]

Hey!

could i request a

klaus mikaelson x fem hybrid reader

where reader use to be friends with the Scooby gang but she got in a fight and they all chose Elena’s side and Elena made it worse and rubbed it in so to get back at them she bit Elena.

and when they klaus doesn’t know he just knows she had a fight but then they come begging for his blood because she bit her and his like proud of his girlfriend or something like that

I didn’t mean to

Being Klaus mikaelsons girlfriend is hard enough anyways. Constantly having to watch your own shadow to make sure nobody going to grab you and use you as leverage. Making sure to always give him your attention and affection while also balancing the blood shed and agony.

What made it harder was being one of his hybrids. Now yes i was sired but he didn’t use it against me. And i knew that he actually felt something for me. My friends however didn’t.

“You’re being pathetic y/n he will never love you! It’s that stupid creepy bond that you have for him, you’re just doing it to please him!” Elena yelled, her arms flinging about as though it would make her point better

“Then why hasn’t he made me do anything I don’t want to? I haven’t had to betray any of you or anything so if he was using me surely it would be more obvious!?” I questioned growing upset

“God it’s like you’re stupid, he’s smart y/n, he knows what to do to make you think you’re in the right, but you’re not, you’re just a joke to him, a toy” she sneered. I hadn’t been a hybrid long enough to gain complete control over my anger, any of my emotions really.

“You know she’s right y/n” Damon said in a singsong tone making me further agitated. I could see Caroline and Bonnie refusing to look at me as Stefan gave me a sympathy face.

“Fine. I don’t need any of you, clearly i never meant anything to any of you enough for you to trust me” i growled making my way to the front door

“Oh yeah? What you gonna run home to your master or something?” Elena asked with her arms crossed and her head cocked. I didn’t think as i lunged towards her, my canines digging into her skin before i pulled away, ripping a chunk of her neck out as i sped away. I could hear her pain filled cry echo through my head at the same time Stefan and Damon began yelled and Caroline screamed.

I went straight to Klaus’. I didn’t say a word just went straight into his arms hiding my face in his chest. His arms circled me instantly, a hand petting my hair as he dropped whatever he was doing

“Shh, it’s okay” he soothed as i cried into his henley, hiccuping as i tried to calm myself

“Sh sh, are you hurt sweetheart?” He asked gently holding my close against him. I shook my head and clung to him tighter

“Just my emotions” I uttered. He kissed the top of my head before picking me up and taking me to his room

“That’s okay, you’re going to get used to it love. You’re already much better at controlling them hm? You’ve done so well” he encouraged. I was put on his bed, duvet pulled up over me and blackout curtains closed

“Just sleep my love, a rest will make you feel better I assure you.” He muttered as he kissed my forehead lovingly “I’m just across form you in my art room okay? Do you want me to stay?” He asked softly but I shook my head. I knew i was lying saying it was my emotions and ill feel worse the longer he coddles me.

Once he was gone i continued to cry quietly. Knowing that the people i once considered my family now wanted nothing to do with me just because of what i am and who i love. Eventually to fell asleep with a tight grip on Klaus’ pillow trying to replicate the feel of hugging him.

I woke hours later. My eyes fluttered open to the feeling of someones fingers in my hair against my scalp. I hummed sleepily in content as they massaged my head gently. I found that i was laying on a body, face on a warm chest making me frown in confusion before looking up to see Klaus with a smile on his face.

“Hello” he whispered looking at me making me smile in amusement

“Hi” i replied looking at him with a tilt of my head.

“You know…a little birdy told me that you might’ve gotten into a bit of fight today?” He hummed and my heart pounded

“Umm it wasn’t really a fight” i mumbled laying back down so he couldn’t see my face.

“No, clearly they didn’t stand a chance hm?” He asked with a literal chuckle making me blush in embarrassment.

“I didn’t mean to” i whispered sniffling.

“Oh my love, I’m not upset with you” he cooed while lifting me to have me straddle him as he sat up

“No love, if anything I’m proud of you” he explained as his hands cupped my face

“Because you want me to be a monster” i whispered remembering Elenas words from the start of the argument. He frowned at me his hands bringing me closer as he lightly pressed his lips to mine. Softly moving them together before pulling back to look back at me

“Because you are strong enough to defend yourself” he corrected, his arms slipping down my body to pull me closer

“You’re the opposite to a monster sweetheart” he uttered kissing me tenderly, my eyed closing in appreciation

“You mean the world to me” he told me as he gently rocked my body like a parent would a child as the tears slipped down my face once more

“I bit her Klaus” i sobbed and he nodded

“I know sweetheart, i know but it’s okay. Ive given them my blood so you don’t need to feel bad anymore okay?” I shook my head

“They hate me”

“But i love you” he whispered “you just stay with me, I’ll keep you safe” and i found myself nodded, Klaus was all i had, all i could ever want.

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

For the Fanfic Roulette, any chance you can do 30, 24, and Ezra Bridger? Thanks so much! (btw can you tag me in the post so I see when it’s up???)

Oh @skyofnostars *shake my head* what am I to do with you. How is it that you gave me the best request ever!!! *Squeezing you in a bear hug* Do you know you actually had me stumped for a day and a half. I had to go back and watch all critical Ezra Bridger episodes both in Rebels and Ahsoka, to get my mind wrapped around exactly what I wanted to write.

I don't know if this is what you were looking for, however I do hope that you enjoy it, because it actually turned out quite adorable if I do say so myself.

Thank you for such an awesome request.

Love oo,

The Return

Warnings: Longing, lost love, emotions, tears, kissing, disappearance, I think that's it. If I miss any please let me know.

Main Master List   |  Star Wars Fic Roulette

Ezra couldn’t help smiling as his eyes focused on your face after he got off the Imperial shuttle. He wanted to run over to you right away, but between someone shouting, “Someone get the medic. Get the medic!”Which simply made him laugh, and then Hera ran over and grabbed him, squeezing him like there was no tomorrow, making him remember what family was and how much he missed you all; he needed to wait to see you. 

Once he finally had a chance to actually breathe, he didn’t stop searching for you among the crowd that were still looking at him as though he had come back from the dead. He searched and searched until he found your face once again again. And even though everyone else looked at him like he was an anomaly, a freak. 

Your eyes … well, your eyes only held one thought, ‘he was back.’

His breath caught in his throat, as he locked eyes with you. He’d forgotten how amazing those eyes of yours were. You had always made comments about his piercing blue eyes, however, to him they were nothing in comparison with yours. 

Your eyes held the world for him. They were always full of admiration, devotion and longing, and if your eyes weren’t enough, your lips always held that smile that was specially reserved for him. The same smile you currently were wearing on your lips. All in all, regardless of the distance and the years apart, you were still the most beautiful person he’d ever known. 

The moment he said bye to you on Lothal, hearing you begging and pleading with him to get off of Thrawn’s ship, telling him how you loved him to the end of time and back, how you’d always loved him. All he wanted was to run off Thrawn’s ship and into your waiting arms, but he couldn’t. Kannan taught him that he needed to make this one sacrifice for the greater good. Kannan’s last lesson, he said. Oh god, how he wanted to kiss you one last time, hold you in his arms one more time, holding you so tight you’d never forget what his arms felt like, at that moment, he understood how Kannan must’ve felt, when he made the ultimate sacrifice. It had been the hardest goodbye he’d ever have to give. 

After all, you’d been by his side since you were kids, growing up together, staying close even after his parents were taken. You never left his side when you both had to live on the street after your own parents were killed by the Empire. You were even there when he joined the rebels. You’d always been there, just like his shadow. 

He can still remember how idiotic he’d been … no. How confused he was when he first met Sabine, he’d never met someone like her, and of course his world turned on its head when he met her. But somewhere between losing Kannan and seeing Sabine with her family, somehow he realized, you had been more than a shadow. More than a friend. More than anything he ever thought possible. You were his heart, and that’s when he realized it had always been you. 

Yet, your time together was cut short when he had to make the ultimate decision to sacrifice himself, to save you. To save Lothal. He tried to tell you in his own subtle way he’d be back. How he’d never stop loving you. How you were more to him than anything else the galaxy had to offer, and as smooth as he hoped his subtlety was, it didn’t work the way he’d hoped. 

Instead, he felt your heart break when he said goodbye. He had felt your despair, your soul crushing. 

He never meant to be gone for so long. He had always meant to come back to you. However, returning to you was out of his hands. There was nothing he could do while he waited on Peridea. 

So when his eyes locked on you, his emotions took over. This time he wasn’t going to let anything stop him, he ran over to you, wrapping his arms around you, and burying his face into your neck. He couldn’t help smiling when he felt your arms wrap around him, holding him tight.

“You’re back…” it was all you were able to manage before the tears started coming hard and fast. You could feel your broken heart healing. Your soul repairing simply because you held him in your arms. You smelled his scent. You felt his heart beating against your chest. 

Ezra pulled back enough just to wipe your tears, as he looked at you. Somehow you were even more beautiful than you were five minutes ago. On the one hand, he did feel bad for leaving Sabine and Ahsoka back on Peridea, on the other hand he was finally able to hold you in his arms after ten long years. 

Ten years of waiting. 

Ten years of longing. 

As he looked into your eyes, his eyes glanced down to your lips. The desire to kiss you had never been stronger, he was hesitant at first, but he had ten years to think about it and didn’t want to hold back any longer. 

He leaned forward, tilting his head ever so gently, a smile on his lips, tears sliding down his cheek as he closed the distance between you, placing his lips on your soft ones. As soon as your lips felt his, neither of you held back.

Maybe you should’ve cared that he still hadn’t been debriefed, maybe you should’ve cared that he was in a stormtrooper’s uniform, or maybe you should’ve cared about the imperial shuttle that was sitting there.

However, neither of you cared. 

You didn’t care that you were in the middle of the hangar bay.

You didn’t care that others were watching. 

The only thing that mattered at that moment was realizing you both finally felt like you were home. As though the pieces of your heart that had been missing for the past ten years, were suddenly healing, and once again you both were whole. 

You pulled away and kissed his cheek, his neck, his shoulder, as you pulled him in for a hug, and held him tight. He was home. He was alive. He wasn’t hurt, and frankly that’s all that mattered. He was there with you. 

“I missed you so much.” You whispered into his ear, as you breathed in his scent. Needing to remind yourself over and over again, this wasn’t a dream. 

“I missed you, too.” He whispered back, his face buried in your hair, “There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think of you.”

“How did you get back?”

“It’s a long story.”

Both of your voices were low, everyone had started to scatter thanks to Hera’s intervention. She knew how much his disappearance weighed on you, kept you isolated, kept you hardened. As Hera watched you heal, she wiped a tear, happy that a part of her family had returned.

“I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you.” Ezra vowed as he whispered in your ear, these words were for you and you alone. 

“I always knew you’d come home. I never stopped loving. I’ll love you until the stars turn cold.” Regardless of anything else, as of right now you were grateful he was home and in your arms.

Main Master List   |  Star Wars Fic Roulette

Tag list:

@liadamerondjarin @badbatch-simp24@spicymcnuggies@lady-ren @firstofficerwiggles @darkangel4121 @discofern @kavecika @monako-jinn-stories @ladykatakuri @avathebestx @theroguesully @furyhellfire66 @carodealmeida @ciramaris @sprout-fics @twinkofthedink @dindjarin-mandalorian @ulchabhangorm @littlemisspascal @tortor-mcgee @vodika-vibes @clonethirstingisreal

[miguelswifey04]

Hi, could I perhaps request some Miguel angst/comfort where he has an argument with a soft and usually peaceful sunshine reader, in which reader actually becomes visibly angry, cuz some sensetive topic for them was brought up? But their anger isn't loud, more like quiet and ominous, and somehow it's surprises and terryfies others?

oh I LOVE ANGST/COMFORT SO MUCH <33

🪴🪴🪴🪴🪴🪴🪴🪴🪴🪴🪴🪴🪴🪴🪴🪴

“what’s wrong with you??!!” miguel’s voice boomed loudly. he’s scolding you in front of everyone and you can’t help but feel so small and quite embarrassed. he’s treating you like a child, and you aren’t one but he’s making you seem like one. “can you stop acting like a damn child? you’re an adult.”

“i’m sorry miguel—i know it was my fault but i didn’t know what to do!”” you hold your face in your hands as you swallow that lump in your throat. you try so hard to bit back those tears that are threatening to burst. ‘please don’t cry and make yourself look pathetic.’ you pleaded to yourself—in your mind trying so hard to convince yourself not to make a damn fool of yourself. miguel is furious with you. you could see the way his chest rises and falls quickly as his nostrils flare. though, you feel anger unveil itself in a quiet and ominous manner. you quickly feel anger pool inside your heart—rage. it catches everyone including miguel off guard by the way your demeanor changes. one second you’re begging for forgiveness and now you’re clenching your hands in fists as you give miguel a cold glare.

“why am i the one who always have to beg for your forgiveness?” the argument escalates, fueled by the seething emotions that have been bottled up within you. your typically bright and radiant aura momentarily dims, an ominous cloud casting a shadow over your once cheerful disposition. miguel, who is accustomed to your sunny nature, is taken aback by the intensity of your anger as it materializes in a chillingly silent manner.

your voice falls to a low, steady tone, almost unnerving in its quiet determination. your eyes, usually warm and inviting, become sharp and piercing, sending shivers down miguel’s spine. the contrast between your usual personality and this unsettling display of anger leaves him unsettled and unsure of how to respond.

despite his initial surprise, miguel quickly recognizes that something deeply significant has been stirred within you. he registers the pain and turmoil behind your anger, understanding that this sensitive topic has touched a raw nerve. miguel, always perceptive, realizes that your quiet and ominous anger stems from a place of vulnerability, a wounded part of your soul that demands acknowledgement.

in a moment of empathy, miguel sets aside his own frustrations and approaches you cautiously, his eyes betraying concern rather than fear. he reaches out a tentative hand, seeking to bridge the emotional gap that has emerged between you. "i...i understand that this topic hurts you deeply," he murmurs softly, his voice filled with a genuine desire to ease your pain. "i want to help, to be there for you. please...i’m sorry let’s talk about this."

for some odd reason you nod while you began to realize you were crying. you were so damn tired of it all and you just needed someone’s shoulder to cry on. miguel took you away from the rest taking you to a safe and quiet place where you could vent your frustrations. he lets you do so as he holds you close to him as he cards your hair lovingly. miguel never stops apologizing to you and realizes how he’s hurt you. he’s deeply sorry but he’s to be a better person for you even if he isn’t good at being the one to apologize. “let me make this up to you, i’m sorry for putting you through this. you don’t deserve this at all.”

———

tags: @kairiscorner <3

[nerdyenby]

DRS2 reactions (spoilers)

Ep 1

Ras at the shadow dojo???????? Who woulda thunk

New intro?!?!!!?!! Idk why I wasn’t expecting that, actually

The public including Pix with the missing ninja my beloved

Gosh, big Riyu will take some getting used to

Wait… is that a curious george reference??

I don’t know if I’ve heard someone outright say something isn’t good for their friend’s mental health in a cartoon before, it’s really refreshing

Casual Frohicky and Sora/Arin interactions my beloved <3

Omg Kai explaining Shang to Zane is such season one vibes

Lloyd having open and honest conversations with his students about both his and their wellbeing is so important to me

Ok, hear me out: au where baby Wu didn’t age back at an enhanced rate and gets lost at somepoint and Arin is teenage Wu

Dang it, Cinder’s kinda funny

Ep 2

I legit started happy stimming so hard at that opening shot, I’m really invested in Euphrasia’s story already and nothing’s even happened yet lol

Percival out here making the gen z solarpunk dream a reality!!!!

Lloyd calling it what it is — a panic attack — soothes something in me

Sora did really bad graffiti of cats when she was young, that’s adorable and kinda tells you everything you need to know about her

MY GIRL!!!!!!!

Euphrasia using a cane!!!! Hell yeah mobility aids!!!! (Even though it’ll probably be gone in two episodes lol)

I kid you not, I was 100% expecting Suetonius to say “resurrect… the Great Devourer” lmao

I love that the gang is (mostly) all together, but it’s a bit too many characters for a conversation, I get why they like to split them into groups

Nya grounding Lloyd :(( /pos

Kai boasting about a fight that he won a decade ago when Cinder probably doesn’t even know Ash is endlessly amusing to me

Ras is so dramatic I can’t really take him seriously

Damn, they’re letting characters get hurt, it’s kinda refreshing but it’s scary

Ep 3

Wait I didn’t see Euphrasia get captured :((

WHAT THE HELL?!???? /vpos

Strength, motion, energy, and life?!??!!??

AYOOOOOO?!?!????

Kai comforting Wyldfyre <333

We know this takes place after the mech shorts, so why hasn’t anyone mentioned Cole? He was also seen in public, so why did that conspiracy guy say he’s still missing?

Why do they keep leaving Zane behind?? He’s in his housewife era fr

Kai making sure Wyldfyre’s taken care of :((

This show is so unserious, I love it

I wasn’t feeling people calling Kai Wyldfyre’s dad after season one but…

No… Sora took Arin’s thing from him… she didn’t mean to, but he feels like he’s not special anymore :(

I’m going to pretend that was a believable amount of parts to make a mech that big

Kai getting moments with Arin and Sora my beloved

Kai’s “hey kid, nice of you to drop by” is giving the same energy as when Lloyd and Arin first met during the merge

THE WALLS ARE MOVING, REPEAT: THE WALLS ARE MOVING

These nightmare sequences are going so hard

Nya being the first one to realize it isn’t real when her nightmare is reality, I’m screaming

Riyu comforting Wyldfyre <333

Nya best sister award when

Ep 4

My boys!!!!!

THE found family of all time

IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO MY CHILDREN I WILL RIOT

Seeing Kai and Nya fight so smoothly together is so special after how much they and Lloyd were tripping over each other when they first reunited

Basketball?!??!!??!!!

Autistic Arin real and true

I love Bonzle so much

Geo is such a lil bastard actually /pos, makes more sense why he and Cole are a thing, knowing Cole’s taste in men

COLE!!!!!!

Cole will never stop being overpowered, it seems, he deserves it tbh

Censorship pog /hj

“Not funny, Wyldfyre” “Not joking, Sora” the sheer cousin vibes in this interaction are too much to handle

Lloyd PLEASE just mention being 1/4 dragon, it will almost certainly get Egalt on board, I am begging

Glacier reunion!!!!!!!

Ep 5

I wanted a more emotional reunion, but they’ve probably seen each other off screen (or I’m just forgetting a scene from the shorts)

Zane, why are you still carrying that doll like it’s your child??

Bonzle my beloved, she’s says that so deadpan I don’t actually have any questions

Wyldfyre my beloved

I would die for Bonzle

Cole and Geo holding hands 😭😭😭😭😭

Is Egalt the motion source dragon?? Probably not tbh but I’d believe it

Man’s spitting facts, flatearthers are going to lose their shit

“Little fire man” IM DYING OH MY GOD

Wait when does this take place? My first instinct is while the ninja were in the Never Realm but idk if we’ll actually find out

“Friends can become like family?” “Definitely” IM SOBBING ON THE FLOOR

Letting Arin be angry is so important

Cole shutting down Bonzle’s suicidal thoughts without hesitation “no, you are loved and needed. We will find a way to protect you” <333

The physical affection in DR is so dear to me

Human sacrifices???? In MY lego show?????

Ep 6

Wyldfyre struggling with her body’s limits is really relatable as a young disabled person

FOREHEAD TOUCH :((

Plot twist: where the other ninja are right now is Mysterium and they have that tua meme of two cars passing each other moment

Damn, that exchange hit hard as a former gifted kid. Sometimes having someone believe in you hurts. You’re not just letting yourself down, but them, too

Nya just fucking bodyslamming Kai, Egalt didn’t know what he was getting into pitting the world’s most competitive siblings against each other

“The Finders are like my family” *looks at Zane* “My other family” screaming, crying, sobbing on the floor

Oh no

Wait yeah, why are they thirsty if Zane can just make ice for them to chew on? At least Cole and Jiro, idk if Bonzle needs water

The nonbinary pirate!!!

Cole CANNOT escape the performing arts fr fr

Ep 7

Bonzle is giving transgender

That is the most Jay and Cole thing I’ve ever heard it, it’s so in character it almost feels out of character

Arin and Sora going through the exact same thing and trying and failing to not take it out on each other :( it’s ok tho, the real ones are the ones you can be snippy with and love regardless

Wyldfyre referring to the ninja as “Kai’s friends” honey, they’re your friends too, I promise

Anyone who calls Wyldfyre dumb can fuck off, she’s so perceptive and intelligent and is really good at connecting others when she truly wants to

Bonzle’s mom <33333

Bonzle’s smile when her mom compliments her name <3333

Who you calling stolen equipment bitch?????

Lil Kai and Nya!!!!!!

Nya’s so proud of him!!!!! I could cry

Kai being the first to achieve it because fire is an element under motion’s domain methinks

Oh you bigoted son of a bitch

Zane why are you considering it????? Honey

What the fuck did you do to Jiro??!?!!!

JAY?!?!!???

Ep 8

NOOOO 😭😭😭

There’s literally a nindroid agent right there????

The og musical cue playing when Jay comes back <3

Jay on his Euphrasia arc, this is highkey breaking my heart though

I’m counting this as a fakeout death and you can’t stop me

Are you kidding me???!!!? How many times is Jay going to be one room away from the ninja

Lloyd SHUT UP /aff

“And cursed!!” She says cheerfully, this lady is an icon

The subtitles keep calling Cole Kai, what is this, season one??

Ep 9

Aww, baby Ras (trying desperately to not care about him)

Oh ok, he’s making my job easier

Poor Wyldfyre :(

I love this trio so much, their banter is so good

Lloyd honey, fighting it is making it worse

Nya holding him through his panic attack :((

I was expecting Cole to deny that it was him, the earth is going through it

The disco toaster!!!!!

Heck yeah Riyu!!!

I love them so much it’s not even funny

“What’s your elemental power, imperviousness to sarcasm?” She just called him autistic in 13 languages (I’m autistic, dw guys)

“First time driving?” “Believe it or not, no” Bonzle and Arin my beloved

I’m a touch disappointed Wyldfyre’s perfectly fine now as someone with chronic pain, but I’m glad it was handled as well as it was and it’s a really important lesson for younger audiences that pushing your body while it’s in pain only makes it worse

The silent exchange of Cole suggesting Zane takes the parrot potion is endlessly funny but also sad considering it’s probably the closest well get to talking about the Falcon

Cole turning into a puppy who cheered?!???

“At least you’re adorable” “I’m always adorable” get a room /aff

Tournament of elements flashbacks

The workplace gossip omg, Cinder really out here beefing with a 16 year old

Don’t you even fucking dare

MY BABIESSSSSS

Ep 10

Arin mistaking Lloyd and Nya for his parents hurts :(

Oh no… I mean, it was obviously coming but it’s still very bad

WYLDFYRE POPPING OFF!!!!! THIS GIRL NEEDED HER ENRICHMENT

Let Euphrasia do stuff 2024

Wyldfyre jumping in front of Kai and protecting him

The basketball practice coming in handy lol

The fight cinematography in DR is fucking superb

KAI D: (he’ll be fine, I believe)

Nya!!!!!

BONZLE MVP!!!!

I was prepared for Rontu and Egalt to stay dead, the breath I let out when the stone cracked was unparalleled

Are we legit not getting Kai back????

Cole and Lloyd hug!!!!!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Oh no… that lie is going to hurt when it comes out

Kai and Bonzle!!!!

Not like Master Wu says, like Lloyd says ;-; /pos

[mickgaydolenz]

beep boop! Micky astro watch update! 📡💫

first a foremost, woe, Aries season be upon ye! -- shoutout to all the Aries out there. i'm scared of you 🙂.

when Aries season hits, Micky's 1H+2H placements will shine through: asteroids Eris and Sedna, but much more importantly his Venus! right now the transiting Venus is not within conjunction to his natal Venus, but when it does, it'll be absolutely beautiful: financial burdens lifted, love life is invigorated, increase in creative arts and, what i think he needs absolutely most right now, giving the self the love it deserves. until then, this transiting Venus in it's domicile 2H will simply do it's thing as the universe intends it, and his natal Venus in Aries will continue to be it's reckless & impulsive self.

other transiting planets in Aries currently passing through his 2H are Jupiter, Mercury which had just entered Aries within the last couple days, and the Sun will enter in too when Aries season begins on the 21st. the New Moon in Aries will also fall on the 21st, the beginning of the spring season, and will also pass by his 2H (for like a day or two -- the Moon only stays in a sign for ~2.5 days), which would be the prime time for him to clear out any emotional baggage's he's been holding on to that maybe he needs to let go now, whatever that may be, so that he can move forward with a cleaner slate!

second off, uh, i was wrong about Saturn's next retrograde (boooooo 🍅🍅🍅) -- it's actually gonna be coming up this June and won't end until November. it recently entered its shadow period on the 11th of March, which is basically a planet's way of pre-gaming its retrograde season as it slows its course down.

right now the Pisces Saturn still conjoins Micky's Ascendant, so it's not going anywhere else.

no, really, it isn't.

when planets retrograde, they not only do in fact change gravitational course within our solar system, but nataly it goes backwards as well. by the time the retrograde happens Saturn will be 7° in Pisces, still very much within conjunction to his Ascendant and also joining conjunction to his 17° Sun too, but the retrograde will slowly rewind the degrees until November when it returns back to 0°.

so, yeah. melancholic and cranky will be his natural state until sometime around early 2024. Saturn is limiting and asks for the individual to let go what is no longer needed, and when it's serious it is serious. this could be a very good thing, but what he needs to be most careful of is to not end up pushing the wrong people away and isolating himself, as Pisces is infamous for this. if there's one stark difference between Mike and Micky on an Pisces level, it's exactly this: Mike pushed, and Micky pulled. Micky has that pulling power and now is the time to be using it!

this concludes the Micky astro watch update, beep boop ✨

god bless you for this update as always 💖🙏😔 i am holding out hope that micky will be able to balance all this shit coming up and come out of it relatively unscathed!! man i can see how this whole endeavour could make him cranky and want to push others away, but i’m hoping he can balance that and like you said use his pulling power to mitigate those things. also…..kale i am an aries please do not be afraid of me i am begging you 💖💖💖

[mxserendipity]

Grieving For My Past Self: Full Poem

Trigger warnings: Words alluding to past self harm, trauma/abuse, dissociation, depression, death and other mental illness. Nothing is explicit, but please stay safe anyways.

—-

Stage 1: Denial.

—-

Feather after feather I swallow,

Filling the aching void in my head.

Something light and sweet to follow,

Avoid the buried feelings of dread.

Something innocent and something thin,

A safety made of imaginary thread.

Only a beautiful daydream as I lay in bed,

for nothing is worth seeing the hole within.

A giggling child, born to run

around the skirt of an evergreen tree.

My other memories are held back by knife and gun,

I am not bound by symptoms, I am free

Nothing deeper holds me hostage

as denial keeps me agnostic.

For I am too kind to suffer and too young to die,

So I will ignore my own inward cries.

They'll say:

Spread your wings and fly away, little dove.

Out of the corners of your mind, your reality

Gather the insincerity of a foxglove,

and hide under the shade of your apathy.

—-

Stage 2: Anger

—-

White hot emotion blinds my eyes

My lungs, my throat, my cries

Oxygen turns to fear turns to rage,  

As you scar my skin with words estranged 

Your god should beg for my forgiveness,

After all you say they planned.

For all the gore they held witness,

They should drop to their knees and apologize first hand

His name is like bile on my tongue, 

Born of a dinner much too sour

I was so eager to forget,

Yet somehow he still holds the power.

I'm drowning in my own disgust

Screaming until my lungs give out

You corrode my memories to rust,

and carve my internal drought.

You made me forget who I am,

My mind focused only on your pleasure,

You've brainwashed me according to plan,

Maybe you should have done it better.

I'm angry at her excuses, 

His failure and your abuses,

But now I curse your ugly name,

and I hope to God you do the same.

For when we kill our gods before us,

Their homes of light and dark will burn.

For an afterlife made from sins unjust,

Are just cages made to imprison us.

—-

Stage 3: Bargaining

—-

Ears flattened, pupils wide

My fingers shake and creak and cry

I fantasize about a change in tide,

and I tickle my brain with hows and whys

I pull at strings long foregone,

Weaving a web for comfort's sake.

I beg and beg for a new dawn,

Anything to soothe the ache.

I poke at fears I've had since thirteen,

Lamentations now admitted.

While I scrub at skin never clean,

And pray someday I'll be acquitted.

Because denial cages the heart,

and anger burns ones throat.

But bargaining is confirmation,

and exposes candor like hives to smoke.

—-

Stage 4: Depression.

—-

Rats crawl along the streets of my mind,

Gnashing teeth and boggling eyes.

Black shadows and dirt combine,

perpetuating normality in a beautiful guise.

Never have I appreciated the rodent,

of disease and grime and fear.

But now I treasure the moment,

when the pitter-patter of paws grows near.

They swarm my corpse and follow trail,

Covering tracks with scurrying wails.

The walls sit giant and sharp,

Letting me forget myself in a rhythmic chop.

Spectators of reality hold their disapproval,

as they eye arms lined with gauze.

their gentle whispers offer removal,

but I've come accustomed to their claws.

I fear not plague or extinction,

and I'm immune to infection and fear.

My home is with pests and crimson,

and it's long resistant to tears.

so bury me in honey and milk,

that way the rats will burn with me in hell.

—-

Stage 5: Acceptance.

—-

I've swallowed hysteria like a mob,

I've picked my teeth with broken bones.

I've bartered with rage like it's my job

I've washed my body with unknowns

I've cuddled with monsters and kissed horrors goodnight,

and yet here I am, oh so alive.

I've battled with my mind and thoughts,

I've cracked and broken my brain,

I've sobbed over fears of gunshots,

and yet here I remain.

I can accept who I am and what happened,

While relearning what I've been taught.

And while I rebuild actualities imagined,

I know I won't be left to rot.

I am a beautiful puzzle,

of pieces yet unfinished.

I am a machine of heart and muscle,

something not worthy of being diminished.

I am not to blame for my past,

as I regain control of my present.

Because I can smile at last,

knowing I can let go of torment.

I am held in the universes palm,

Crafted by delicate carpenters

I have claimed my diversity and calm,

and my worth was never a question.

I am bound, but not caged

I am hurt, but not broken

I am hesitant, but not afraid

And one day, I'll walk free

and that day,

I'll never need to fear again.

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Seized

An addition to Approval. Do not read this until reading that first. 

Character: Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader // Damian Wayne x Batmom

Summary: What happens when Talia Al Ghul learns that someone has stolen the affections of her past lover and her son?

Word Count: 3,000 [One Shot]

“Delinquents have been detained. I can hear the sirens,” Damian stated calmly in his comms.

“Good work, Robin. You know where to meet me. You have a minute,” Bruce responded as he whipped the bat mobile through Crime Alley to grab his son.

Just as Damian opened the door and hopped in, an alarm went off within the vehicle.

“The Manor,” Damian thought aloud as he read the screens with his father.

Bruce ignored his comment and was calling Alfred immediately.

“Master Wayne,” the butler instantly picked up. “I followed protocol, but they were already gone when I arrived.”

“Y/N…” Bruce immediately asked.

“They took her,” Alfred told him, distress clear in his tone.

Damian’s head whipped to his father to watch his reaction.

But Bruce’s jaw only tightened and he sped the batmobile even faster.

Returning faster to Wayne Manor than ever before, Bruce jumped out of the batmobile and up the secret entrance to get to the main house.

Damian was hot on his heels. He’d already sent an encrypted message to his brothers, informing them of the situation. It was only a matter of time before they were at the manor as well. Though Damian suspected Jason would not come, instead already starting to scour the streets of Gotham for Y/N and her captors.

Alfred was already waiting for them. “Master Wayne, I am so sorry.”

Bruce ignored him and walked to the master bedroom. Y/N would’ve been sleeping when the attack occurred. It wouldn’t have mattered if she had been awake, she had no training in self defense. She was merely an innocent civilian.

“Father,” Damian muttered quietly.

Bruce turned around to find his son ripping a shuriken out of the door frame.

They shared a look, both recognizing the particular shape and color.

“The League…” Damian muttered quietly, saying what they both were thinking.

——————

Y/N was barely awake.

They clearly had drugged her with something to make her more compliant. Everything was foggy and muffled.

Yet they still tied her hands and ankles together, as if her brain could even manage to get her body to move.

But Y/N could feel the effects of the drugs losing their strength, yet keeping their hold on her.

She squinted as she looked around. The air felt different. It was colder and dryer, making Y/N believe that she was no longer in Gotham. Little did she know, she wasn’t even in the country any longer.

“I do not know what he sees in you,” a woman hummed from somewhere in the room.

Y/N blinked as he listened, but her eyes could not adjust to the low lighting and she didn’t even have the strength to turn her head.

“You are weak. Ripped from your own bed without so much as a fight.”

Then she heard the grunts and clashing of metal.

The woman smiled. “Right as expected, my son.”

Y/N’s brow furrowed at ‘my son.’ Then she finally lifted her head and took in her surroundings. There were swords and other weapons stored everywhere, and there was armor hung from the walls.

“Talia?” She whispered.

The woman chuckled. “Weak, but not utterly foolish.”

Then the door of the room was thrown open.

Y/N looked to see Damian in his Robin uniform.

“My son, finally returned," Talia greeted with a smirk.

“Mother.” Then his gaze flickered to Y/N. Very subtly, he was scanning her body to access any possible injuries.

His gaze turned back to his mother. “What is the meaning of this?”

“You have forgotten where you come from, Damian. You are not just the heir to the Wayne family. Before anything else, you are my son and the heir to Ra's al Ghul’s throne.”

“She has nothing to do with this,” Damian said with a gesture to Y/N.

“She has everything to do with this,” Talia snapped. “She has made you weak.”

Damian said nothing.

“She has taken you both from me,” Talia growled.

“Father does not love you,” he growled.

“A small lapse in judgment on his part, but not something that cannot be remedied. Our love gave us you, and I fully believe he will return to me.”

“His heart belongs to someone else. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can give up your fantasy.” Then he hesitated to say the next part. “I never plan on returning to The League of Shadows. I wish to stay with father.”

Talia’s amusement vanished at her sons words.

The next second, she unsheathed her sword. “Perhaps I should just kill her and remind you of your place, my son.”

With that, Damian rushed forward and intercepted Talia’s attack with his own sword.

“Do not touch her,” Damian growled.

Their swords continued to clash as the mother and son fought each other. The fight raged on for what felt like forever. Too evenly matched, but also both too terrible at hiding that neither actually wanted to kill the other.

In the distance, Y/N could hear even more fighting. She could only assume it was Bruce fighting his way to her and his son.

Talia and Damian’s swords locked again, both of their stances shaking from the hold.

“Do you really think you and your father stand a chance against the entire League? Why do you think we lured you all the way here? You are outnumbered.” Talia hissed.

“You think us foolish enough to come alone?” Damian smirked right before there was a boom that shook the entire compound.

Talia’s focus slipped half a second, allowing Damian a window to go on the offense.

He flipped his mother’s sword out of her grip and held his own to her throat.

“Yield,” he growled down to her.

“You truly choose her over your own mother?” The hurt in her eyes was clear.

“You abandoned me, used me as a tool to disrupt father’s life. She taught me that there is more to life than killing and destroying. She loves me and care for me, even when I gave her no reason to do so.”

“And it will be the death of you,” Talia warned.

He glared at her. “Yield!”

But he knew she would never. So he whipped out a dart and blew it to her neck – a sedative.  It knocked her out within seconds.

Waiting until he was sure it had worked, Damian sheathed his sword once again and ran to Y/N’s side.

With a knife, he cut the ropes around her wrists and ankles.

“D-Damian,” her voice was still slurred from the drugs and she was weak. How long had she been here without food or water? “I don’t think I can walk."

Damian helped her to her feet. “Y/N, please try,” he begged as he wrapped her around around his shoulders. He was still just a boy, one that was shorter than her. But he wouldn’t give up that easily.

There was another explosion.

“What’s-What’s happening?” Y/N asked as she dragged her feet and held on tightly.

“That would be Todd, most likely taking his job of distracting to an unnecessary level.”

“You all came?” She asked in shock.

“Of course,” Damian scoffed.

Suddenly an object came flying at them and Y/N cried out in pain.

“No!” Damian bellowed as he looked up to see that another League member was attempting to stop their escape. And with it, they had thrown a shuriken that had landed in Y/N’s side.

She dropped to the ground.

Damian screamed as he unsheathed his sword once again and charged the assassin. It wouldn’t take him long. He knew that every minute spent fighting was a minute Y/N was bleeding out and edging closer to death.

He didn’t hold back like he had with his mother and quickly disarmed the enemy. Then thrusting his sword into a nonfatal area of his body, enough to neutralize him. 

Damian rushed back to Y/N’s side, where a pool of blood was forming from her wound.

He knew it was useless, but he still tried to lift Y/N into his arms to carry her. He cried out in both panic and frustration.

The building had now caught aflame due to Jason’s explosions. Damian would need to call for backup, hoping one of his older brothers could help.

Then a shadow was cast over him.

Damian tensed, believing it to be another attack.

But he looked up to find his father standing before them.

However, Bruce’s gaze was on his unconscious girlfriend.

With the arrival of his father, Damian’s cold and calculating disposition melted.

“She’s hurt,” his voice trembled and tears formed in his eyes. “Help her.”

Damian rarely cried. He cried less than grown men. He was raised that way. It didn’t help that his father was not a great example of healthy emotional expression.

But Bruce knew what his sons tears were for: Damian was frustrated, he felt weak, and he thought he had failed his mission. But most of all, Bruce knew his son was crying for fear of Y/N’s death. Because the boy had grown to love her.

As if there were a world when Bruce wouldn’t give his own life to save Y/N.

Bruce bent down and carefully brought Y/N into his arms.

Damian heard her mutter his father’s name, though still delirious from both the drugs he’s sure his mother pumped into her and the blood loss.

“Red Robin, get the jet to my coordinates immediately,” Bruce instructed through his comms.

Damian wondered how his father could be so calm when the woman he loved was bleeding out in his arms. This wasn’t bat business, this was personal. But Bruce spoke like it was just another night of patrol.

A few minuets later, Damian and Bruce had fought their way through the flames and burning compound.

Tim lowered the platform of the jet.

Damian made sure his father and Y/N got on before he followed. He turned and gave one last look at the burning compound that would no longer exist come morning. He did not fear for his mother’s life. He knew someone from the League would come for her – if she didn’t save herself first.

When he boarded the jet, his father already had Y/N on the surgical table that elevated from the jet floor.

Bruce had taken off his cowl, allowing Damian and his brothers to study his expressions.

Damian had been wrong about his father handling the situation like any other mission. For now he could see the terror and worry in his father’s eyes, despite him trying to control his emotions.

Damian looked to Jason, who still had his Red Hood helmet on.

“My grandfather?” He asked his brother.

“Escaped,” Jason muttered.  

Damian stepped forward to help Bruce with Y/N’s injuries.

“She’ll be OK,” he muttered to his father.

All of them had high-level medical training to know.

Thankfully the assassin’s aim was not great and didn’t land in lethal place on Y/N’s body. But she still lost a lot of blood and would need many stitches.

All the brother’s shared a look when Bruce ignored the statement. 

———

Y/N woke up to someone gripping her hand. She recognized from the smell and the feel of the bedding that she was in Bruce’s bed at the manor.

She winced as she opened her eyes to find Bruce was the one holding her hand as he sat in a chair only inches away from the side of the bed.

“Hi,” she whispered to him with a sad smile.

“Hi,” he said back with a smirk.

“How long have I been asleep?”

“Two days.”

Then Y/N looked past Bruce to realize there was someone else in the room.

Damian passed out on the velvet chaise that was pushed against the windows.

“He hasn’t left your side,” Bruce told her. “Dick had to convince him just to take a shower for 5 minutes when we first got back.”

Y/N’s heart melted at the revelation.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

The sound of Bruce’s voice as he said it made Y/N’s gaze snap back to him. Had it shook? Or was she imagining it?

Y/N squeezed his hand that was still wrapped around hers. 

“I know,” she told him with a sympathetic look.

He hid it well, but Y/N knew Bruce. And she knew that her being kidnapped from his own home probably drove him mad with guilt. She wouldn’t be surprised if he’d already designed an entirely new security system to prevent something like that ever happening again.

Bruce took in a shaky breath and opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

He wanted to say that he always feared her being with him would put her in danger like this. 

He wanted to say that maybe she should stay away from him. 

He wanted to say that him and the kids didn’t deserve her. 

He wanted to say that the only reason this happened is because Talia hated that she loved her son better than she ever did.

But Bruce had never been good at saying how he actually felt – or even acknowledging he had any feelings at all.

So Y/N brought his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles. “Bruce, I know,” she said once again.

“I won’t let it happen again. I promise you,” he told her evenly.

“Bruce, I knew what I signed up for when you told me you were Batman. If I wasn’t willing to face the reality of it, I wouldn’t have stayed.”

“No one would’ve blamed you if you hadn’t.”

There was a knock at the door and then it opened a second later.

Damian jumped awake at the sound. But then he quickly brought his attention to Y/N. “You’re awake.”

But everyone’s attention was on Dick, who was standing at the open doorway.

“Hey,” he greeted Y/N, surprised to see that she was awake. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore. Tired. But I’ll be alright.”

He seemed to relax from her answer.

Then he winced when he looked at Bruce. “They put the signal up.”

Bruce’s jaw tightened.

He was about to open his mouth to ask them to handle it, not wanting to leave Y/N alone now that she had woken up.

“Go, Bruce. I’ll be OK.” Y/N told him, reading his mind.

“I think it’s the Joker,” Dick added with a serious frown.

“Bruce, go.” Y/N repeated.

And he saw the sincerity in her eyes. He leaned forward and kissed her gently, deciding he didn’t care if his two sons were witnesses to the intimacy.

Then Bruce kissed her forward. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Alfred will be here if you need anything. Do not hesitate to call.”

Y/N nodded.

Bruce stood up and acknowledged Damian and Dick. “Let’s go.”

Once they were ways down the hall, Bruce heard Damian stop.

“Father?”

Bruce and Dick both turned to face Damian.

“I wish to stay with Y/N.”

Bruce and Dick shared a look, and then Dick decided to give the two a moment alone and muttered something about waiting in the cave.

Bruce walked back to his youngest son.

Damian’s gaze was glued on the floor. “Mother truly would’ve killed her?”

Bruce sighed. “Most likely, yes.” He saw no point in lying to his son.

“Because she knows that you and I love her?”

“Yes.”

Damian was quiet for a moment. But Bruce knew he had more to say.

“I used to think I had to earn it.”

Bruce frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Mother’s love. I had to earn it. Win in combat. Successfully execute a target. Outsmart a puzzle or challenge.” Damian looked up at his father with a broken expression. “Her love always came with a price.”

Bruce kneeled down to his son.

The boy shook his head. “But Y/N made me realize that I don’t have to earn anyone’s love. I don’t have to prove that I’m worthy of it.” He bit his lip. “She’s not my father or my brother. She didn’t have to love me. But she does…even when I did nothing to earn it.”

“Everyone is deserving of love, Damian.” Bruce gripped his son’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for not teaching you that myself.”

Damian nodded. “So, may I please stay with her tonight? I don’t want her to be alone.” But then he quickly corrected himself. “Unless of course, you require my assistance, father.”

Bruce smirked at him. “I think we will manage, Damian.” Then he squeezed his shoulder. “Look after her for me, alright?”

Damian relaxed and quickly nodded his head. “Of course, father.”

When Bruce returned hours later, Damian was cuddled next to Y/N in the bed. But clearly laying in a position to be mindful of her injuries. Both were fast asleep. The bright television was the only thing lighting the room, as it played a Pixar movie.

Bruce couldn’t help but grin at the sight.

“I got him,” Dick whispered to him before stepping into the room and carefully lifting the boy in his arms, clearing the space in the bed for Bruce to join Y/N.

Bruce moved about the room as he changed into cotton shorts and went without a shirt.

Y/N woke slightly as he joined her in bed.

“Everything OK?” She whispered sleepily.

“Everything’s fine. Did Damian keep you company?”

Y/N smiled and shifted her body so she was cuddle into him. “Yes…my little protector.”

Bruce smiled at that. “Don’t let him hear the ‘little’ part…”

She chuckled. “Good call.” 

And then she was fast asleep once again.

-----------------------

Please, please, please let me know what you think! 

[mercurial-madhouse]

Trigger Warning: Healing is painful, but there’s so much light on the other side if we’re strong enough to walk through the dark.

My hope in sharing my story is to help anyone who reads it find peace or healing, just as I always aim with my fiction. If it feels right to you to do so, I encourage you to reblog this. It is highly personal, but I choose to share it publicly.

************

This past Sunday, I received an email responding to my desire to withdraw from a fic fest. Instead of the simple “You have been removed from the fest” that I’d been expecting through an official channel from mods to a participant, this is the response I received. Please be aware, the following is painful.

***

We've removed you from the fest and will mark you down as not being welcome to participate in future fests. We show a great deal of compassion toward our writers, which is why we send reminders, answer any and all questions, and provide extensions when requested. There's a reason why our fest has one of the highest numbers of fics of any fest/challenge in the fandom - it's because we support our participating writers and do everything possible to assist them as they complete their fics.

However, once a writer has repeatedly failed to communicate and missed both a deadline and an extended deadline, it's clear that they do not have any respect for the fest, the mods, our time, or our own unique situations, as we don't have endless extra hours to track down participants in a fic fest. Several reminders on three different platforms, an extension, and requests for writers to simply let us know if they need more time does not demonstrate a lack of compassion in any capacity. We also showed a great deal of compassion by welcoming you with open arms into the [redacted] after you insulted the fest, insulted [redacted] fics, and made writers uncomfortable last year after signing up to beta their fics, all while pretending to support and uplift writers in the fandom just as you did in your email here.

Have a great week!

- [redacted] Mods

***

This email arrived right at the end of the night, just as I was lying down to sleep. I couldn’t read it all the way through. It elicited a trauma response in me. My heart started racing, my palms were sweaty, I was shaking, I felt sick to my stomach.

I went into fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode. My first response was to freeze. In order to escape the barrage of pain bombarding me, I simply dissociated and disconnected from my body. It allowed me to sleep, but barely. I deleted the email in a desperate attempt to pretend it didn’t exist.

The pain caught up with me twenty-four hours later. I couldn’t breathe, my lungs shrunk in around my heart. My whole body locked up. I couldn’t move. I knew that if I spoke, even to say ‘hello’ to someone, I’d start crying.

The moment I was alone in my room the tears came. The pain came, bursting through me. I sobbed uncontrollably, curled into myself on my bed, begging for the pain to stop, begging for a miracle, screaming internally for relief and to understand what I’d done to deserve this because I didn’t have the air for more than broken whispers.

I fell asleep whispering ‘I need a miracle’ over and over. The mantra blocked out all the disgusting thoughts that wanted to keep swirling through my head. This is it. This is the final proof that you don’t belong here. You never have. You never will. Run away, M. It’s over. You tried, you failed. You always do. You always will.

I fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion.

Grief is intense. These are the moments where we don’t think we’ll survive what we’re feeling. My love, whoever you are, if you are reading this, hear from me. The agony passed. I needed to feel that agony, to allow it to move through me and to give myself the space to feel it. Without diving off the deep end into what hurts, I wouldn’t have been able to find the inner peace to keep healing, to start to understand.

The residual pain is still there, even as I write this post. But it no longer overwhelms my senses. And by Tuesday morning, I’d been given insight into what was happening.

I experienced a trauma response because it mirrored mistreatment I first received in childhood from family and classmates alike and continued into my adult life. In full view of others, it was acknowledged as cruel even by my mother, who struggles with her own guilt because she never stood up for me. No one did.

So I internalized the mistreatment. I must deserve it if everyone else around me is ok with me being singled out like this? At first I spoke up for myself. But in the end I stopped speaking up for myself too. I had never healed this pain and here it was, coming back around again, forcing me to face it, to heal it once and for all.

I still do not know what exactly I may have said to cause these accusations that you see in the email. **I do not and will not deny them.** Even if my words were taken in a way I did not consciously intend, to deny that I said anything that caused someone else pain is to deny my own power AND to deny that everyone’s emotions are valid and worth digging into.

I have the power to inflict pain, just as I have the power to spread and share love and joy.

Whatever I said came from a place of pain, of believing I did not belong in this community. That I am not good enough or worthy enough to be here. A series of unfortunate but necessary events when I first entered this fandom completely disintegrated my core beliefs in my abilities as a writer, something I have always kept so close to my heart, and my belief that I had a place in this fandom.

I expect, as I look into my past patterns, that what I did was try to logic why I wasn’t allowed to belong. At the time, this fest was the only subset of the fandom I knew, I was so brand new. So I looked through all the prompts in the fest. I brought a scientific method view to answering the question: “What is it about the fics people write in this fandom am I unable/incapable of doing?”

This process allowed me to generalize everything I saw that I perceived as ‘I can’t do that, this is why I don’t belong here’. Consumed in my own doubt that I could measure up and write something worth reading, I dropped from the fest last year too. If I can’t contribute writing that’s worth reading, I could at least stick with what I do best, which is helping others be their best selves. I had signed up to beta, and I chose to cling to the only grasp of belonging I had, which was through beta’ing. I ended up beta’ing four fics last year for the fest. And, of course, each of them were (and still are) incredible fics. At the time, it was further proof to me of exactly what I can’t accomplish.

In all likelihood, these generalizations, stemming from a place of pain and jealousy because I wanted to write good fics too, came out in a personal conversation with someone, which they translated as a personal attack. It is valid. Whoever you are, your emotions are valid. It does not matter how I meant whatever I said, pain is what you felt. This person did not feel comfortable sharing that pain with me, so instead they turned to others and shared. My moment of vulnerability and pain then spread more pain.

Pain only comes from pain.

The response was to shadow ban me. In fact, I was never meant to find out about any of this. The pain this person shared was simply taken at face value and that was that.

So on my end, this decision showed up in the physical world this way: Suddenly all my asks went unanswered, people I tagged to share snippets and last lines and get to know more through ‘about me’ posts or who had once talked to me through DMs simply stopped speaking to me in a way that is only noticeable to the person being ignored. I thought I was going crazy. But there it was, right in front of me: absolute proof that I wasn’t good enough to be a part of this fandom.

Is anyone else beginning to see the cycle of pain?

I expect I continued this cycle right back, because the pain turned to bitterness. I’d been doing everything I could to support every author the best way I knew how, and this was what I got? The exact opposite?

I found out about this shadow ban and actual blocking around June of this year. An ask sent in by a friend for me, inquiring why I couldn’t reblog a post that’d been sent to me by someone else, finally gave me the answer that I’d been banned for the accusations you saw above.

Horrified, hurt, and unable to comprehend any of this except to know that I support every author no matter what they write, I sent an apology to the mods, trying to end this cycle the best I could without knowing any of the details of what had happened. There was nothing more I could do.

They thanked me for the apology, though as you can see from the email, it was never accepted. I do not say that as a judgement call, but simply as a statement of what happened. Everyone is entitled to accept or not accept in their own time and their own ways.

I have been healing so much since everything that occurred last year. And the more I dig in to this cycle, the more my heart goes out to the drafters of this email, to the person I hurt with my words who then turned to share it out of context with others, and to the people who shadow banned me in connection with this situation.

We attract to us what resonates with us. Like attracts like. Which means just as I’ve attracted the greatest friends to me, I have also attracted this pain, and conversely, these mods and that person attracted me to them.

Deep down, on some level we share the same core wounds. And the person who can really understand just how painful those wounds can be is someone who feels them too.

So this is my message to the mods of the above email, to those who have shadow banned me and want nothing to do with me, and to the original person I hurt with my words:

I am sorry for my part in this pain. I am sorry for causing pain and I apologize for it. You are loved. You are enough. You are doing a fantastic job. Your feelings are valid. Your hurt is valid. I don’t know what occurred that hurt you before I entered the fandom, but after finding out from others that an email like the one you sent above is ‘Oh that’s just how they are’ tells me something else happened to hurt you before I even arrived.

Your hurt then is valid too. Allow yourself to feel it and process it. Don’t let it consume you. Don’t let that hurt and fear of it happening again or believing that that’s how everyone is push away from you people who in fact love just what you love. If someone has a different belief from yours, don’t let it invalidate what is true for you. Believing internalized lies about myself only caused me pain. And we spread and create what we believe to be true, whether we consciously realize it or not.

So here, now, is my truth:

I choose to perpetuate love. I choose to spread love. I choose to understand my pain and the pain of others, to transmute it, and to heal it, instead of passing that pain on.

I choose compassion. Compassion for myself in making these mistakes, and compassion for those who have hurt me. I do not condone the email that was sent to me. No one deserves to be treated that way. I choose to focus beneath the visceral anger and lashing out, to focus on the agony beneath the words, and stop this cycle of pain.

I choose to belong in this fandom. I choose to support every author in this fandom and ensure no one ever feels not good enough. I choose to own my past mistakes and learn from them.

I choose trust. To trust that those who I truly hope will see this, will see it. I have no expectations of responses or outcomes or reactions. My only hope is that whoever will benefit from seeing this post will see it.

This is not a matter of right or wrong, bad or good, just or unjust. It is a situation of two parties in pain, triggered by the same triggers.

Looking back on that email, I’ve come to realize that half of the pain I felt when I received it was not my own. I felt the pain of the attack, sure, but I also felt the immense pain beneath those words. And I wish I could hug you. I acknowledge your pain and I acknowledge how painful it is because I know that pain myself. I also know that this pain isn’t you and it isn’t who you are.

So I choose to remember the mods I first met around this same time last year in this same email chain. Mods who were so kind and offered advice to a brand new writer even when she sent an email that had nothing to do with the fest and was still struggling to find her place in the fandom. I choose to remember how beautiful that kindness felt. I choose to remember how I was so grateful for that kindness that I shared my gratitude for these same mods in an email with with another fandom friend at the time. I am still grateful for you.

You are so loved. You are loved for being exactly who you are. This fandom is built upon love. A shared love of five incredibly talented lads who have brought so much joy and light when each and every one of us has needed it the most. Shine your light through the dark and believe with all your heart that you are not alone. You have support. I support you. Shine on. Don’t let anyone dim it.

[animeyanderelover]

Hello again! Can I have prompt 46 with Ash? Tnx

Recently I told my friend that I had a lot of requests about him and she laughed about it. She doesn't really like him, but she gives him credit since he looks good.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, extreme paranoia, isolation, desperation, mentions of kidnapping,overprotectiveness, mentions of self-harm, Stockholm syndrome

Prompt 46: "Can I...can I kiss you?"

It was nothing less than a miracle that someone like you existed, someone who was cleansed from all the sins of this world and the corruption of humans. You were radiating with everything Ash had wanted for this world, a world that he wanted to give to you. It was the minimum from what she should and would do for you, it was his duty as your very own guardian angel. A role he was utterly dedicated too, devoted to his very own angel who forgave him his sins every time.

It was true, you had forgiven him his crimes already a long time ago as everything around you had started to fade away and you had lost count of how long exactly you had been stuck in here. Somewhere around one and a half years would be your expectation, looking on how the seasons had changed through the large and closed windows which symbolized your loss of freedom. But you didn't mind anymore.

You only needed and wanted Ash, your guardian angel.

There was clear tension in his body, you could feel how he stiffened up under your embrace. He had never really received that sort of affection before from anyone nor would he have ever wanted it from all those worthless lives walking around freely. You were the only person he actually wanted any sort of touches from. That was how pure you were, even causing someone like him craving something and falling victim to his own desires. And it was his own fault for being so weak-minded. He didn't deserve you yet letting you perish outside would be an even greater sin. He had to keep you safe.

"My Queen...what are you doing?"

Being able to keep his composure was important in front of you, though he remembered to have failed multiple times in the past already. Severe punishment was the only thing he could think of to atone for his failures for not being good enough, for proving himself to be so incredibly useless. Even now he could feel some unhealed wounds aching a bit, but you didn't have to know about his weakness and incompetence.

You blinked slightly confused up at him when he asked you such an obvious question, but it soon turned into slight giggling that instantly plunged Ash's heart into painfully warm emotions and forced his eyes to get wet. It had taken a while until you had been able to look so happy after he had quickly rescued you from all the evil waiting to devour you. The distress he had felt back then could never be put in words and no burns, knifes and broken bones had been able to make up for what you had been suffering under. Even now it remained as a anxiety deeply stuck in his heart. But looking at you now, smiling at him and not staring with wide eyes filled with fear at him, was worth much more than his whole life could ever repay you.

"I’m hugging you. It’s just that you always look so worried and stressed over my safety and never appear to take a rest. Just now you did as well so I thought this might help you a bit. A strong hug can be more worth than thousand words after all. That’s what my mother told me at least when I was younger.”, you replied softly, pressing your face deeper into his chest with a content look on your face.

There was nothing Ash could think of for a few moments, instead he seared the scene in front of him deep into his brain, how you were currently buried into his chest, looking so happy and peaceful. So stunning and precious.

Tears were quick to escape his eyes only seconds later, his insides stirring up with warmth that stung him and yet baked him with something he hadn’t felt in so long. Comfort and peace.

This was exactly why he had to protect you with his very own life, no one was allowed to snuff out the light you carried inside of you and that was able to even share it’s warmth with him. You possessed too much kindness to understand, but normal humans only destroyed what they touched, ruining it with their greed.

He wouldn’t let them do the same to you.

He would kill everyone who would even do as much as getting too close.

He just had to guarantee that you would live.

But first of all he had to calm himself down or otherwise he might worry you even more than he seemed to have done already. The tears were quickly wiped away with his sleeves before Ash was able to look at you again, still feeling like he wanted to continue crying. His heart felt like it might burst at any moment.

“You have so much warmth and love inside of you that I don’t think I deserve any of it. You shouldn’t even be concerned about me, I merely do what I have to do as your guardian. If you were to fall victim to this damned place, I would perish as well. What use is an angel who can’t even protect their chosen one?”

Pain was twisting his voice and face a bit when he dared to imagine how a world without you would be, a world filled with grief and darkness for him. Letting his guard down would be a fatal mistake, he had seen the worst of this world and the humans and he knew that it would happen again. That was why he had to be like this for you were his heart beating outside his chest. If something were to ever happen to you...

The angel hadn't even noticed that he had already started crying again, fist tightened and body shaking whilst getting lost in fears of losing the one good and bright thing this world had still left.

"But for me you're more than just a guardian angel. You're my angel and I want you to feel happy as well. I want you to feel loved as well. You do so much for me, but I feel like I only cause you stress and uneasiness. Shouldn't you be happy because of me?", you asked him in slight protest, feeling sadness whilst seeing the man you had come to love like this again because of you. You had never seen him truly relaxed nor had you ever been able to show him your feelings. He wouldn't let you, not thinking that he deserved you.

His reaction was instant, suddenly falling on his knees upon hearing from what you had said that he had disappointed you yet again, the visible look of your sorrow only stabbing his fear deeper into his very soul.

"I-I am so sorry! I didn't know that you felt this way only because I was so selfish to only think about myself like this! I don't deserve your forgiveness and accept any sort of-"

When he felt the soft sensation of your hands cupping his stained cheeks, he abruptly stopped his rambling, trying to not choke on his own breath that had gotten irregular.

"You don't have to apologize to me. I don't want to hear you saying such things about yourself. Don't you understand? I am unhappy whenever you are like this, seeing yourself as so worthless and not deserving of my love. That's what hurts me so much. You're rejecting my feelings. I love you, Ash. And I want to know if you do too. Because if you do, please stop talking like this and behave so distantly."

Your voice conveyed every bit emotion that was going on inside of you in that moment, something that Ash noticed with widened eyes as well.

Silence was cut short by him when he realized that you wanted something crucial from him which he would gladly give you. He had never considered that you would ever consider his love as something you wanted, consider him as someone you loved. When had been the last time someone had been truly kind to him and loved him? He couldn't remember anymore.

"Of course I do. You should never doubt my feelings for you. I love you more than you could ever imagine. It's impossible to function without you.", he managed to reply with a shaking voice as he grabbed both of your hands in his own.

"Then why are you acting like this? Everyone deserves someone who loves them. Without love it's a very painful life, isn't it? That's why I am hurting as well. Let me love you and I promise that you'll be able to feel peace as well.", you muttered slightly embarrassed out, leaning your head down so your forehead could rest against his own.

Slight sobs were starting to catch up to Ash as he was staring in pure awe at you.

"Thank you. I'll be better and make sure that I won't cause you sadness anymore.", he pressed out, tightening his grip on your hands only the slightest bit so he wouldn't hurt you.

"I'm glad to hear that.", you replied with a sincere smile on your face, joy stirring your heart up just by seeing that for the first time since he had abducted you, Ash was looking relieved and less tense. He just looked extremely grateful.

"May I ask you for a favor then?", you requested with a certain idea in mind.

"I'll do anything for you.", Ash replied, sounding very emotional.

"I want to do something for you for once since you normally do anything for me."

Hesitation and clear dislike instantly shadowed his face, the thought of him asking something from you going against Ash's belief in all the wrong ways. You shouldn't have to do him favors.

"It doesn't have to be something difficult. It can be a really simple thing. Just...something that I can do for you this once. Please.", you begged slightly, seeing the angel already struggling. You knew how he felt about such things, he hated letting you do something for him and he had never done it before either. Ash saw it only upon himself to serve you which was another thing that sometimes made you feel guilty. You wanted to do more for him as well.

"Can I...can I kiss you?"

Maybe that had been more a slip of his tongue, but he had been slightly panicking since hadn't want to sadden you again nor had he wanted you to do physical work for him. It was supposed to be the other way around.

So when he had stared for a moment at your face, eyes locked on your lips, he had considered somewhere deep in his mind possibilities which he had been fantasizing about a few times before, but hadn't thought that they would actually have a change of happening.

In his opinion they were still sinful, it would take a while for him to get used to the idea that you wanted to receive physical affection and love from him. The first impulse when he realized what he had said was instantly apologizing, only to be interrupted before he could even start saying anything.

You had already leaned down to fulfill him his wish before he could take it back again.

[samstree]

for the drabble thing: “you weren’t there”

maybe post mountain geraskier? i’m in an angsty mood rn but whatever you wanna write will be good :)

Creatures of the Night (2)

It's the night of Jaskier and Valdo's wedding. Geralt needs to do something.

(endgame geraskier, background valdo/jaskier, angst, infidelity)

Previous | AO3

The Oxenfurt Observatory might just be the grandest building in Redania.

The great hall is decorated with countless flowers and candles, giving the ancient walls a soft glow. Through the tall glass ceiling, stars are shining in the clear night sky, the perfect weather for a wedding.

It must be Jaskier’s idea, to be handfasted at midnight, to have his guests slow-dance under the moon and the stars until dawn breaks. Their new life will begin when the candles burn out and the first ray of light spills into the room.

If only there’s a competition for the biggest romantic on the continent. Jaskier could win without breaking a sweat.

The room is being filled up with guests—mostly bards and professors, old schoolmates of the two grooms. After all, both Valdo and Jaskier are Oxenfurt’s children, which means everyone is dressed in the most colorful clothes one could imagine. In another word, the room is being filled up with Jaskiers, and it’s getting loud.

It’s more difficult to locate the bard himself through the din of the room, but Geralt hears him, unmistakably. Jaskier’s heartbeat approaches the Observatory, thrumming with nervousness.

No more nervous than Geralt.

He breathes in, and exits the room in a few strides. And there Jaskier is, surrounded by pale moonlight, with jasmine flowers braided into his hair and pure joy painted across his cheeks. He seems to be murmuring a private joke to Essi, and they both burst into strings of giggles.

Geralt almost backs out.

“Geralt!” Jaskier notices him. “You came! I was worried for a moment.”

“Of course.” Geralt gestures to the outfit he helped pick out. “You look nice.”

“Thank you. Now, Poppet, can you give us a few moments?” Jaskier sends Essi inside with the sweetest smile. She shoulders past Geralt a little too curtly. There’s always an air of wariness whenever Essi regards Geralt, an untrusting side-eye here and there.

“Don’t mind her.” Jaskier waves when they are left alone. “Little Eye is a tad too protective. She’ll get over it.”

“Hmm.” Geralt swallows hard. “Can we find somewhere more private? I want to talk to you.”

Jaskier blinks, but leads them away anyway until they are by the side of the road, the celebrating crowd and the orange glow of candlelight in the distance.

“Here to make sure I end up someone else’s problem, aren’t you? Don’t worry, in about half an hour, I will be legally required to only bother Valdo for the rest of eternity.” Jaskier nudges Geralt in the shoulder, a jasmine slipping by his ear.

Geralt rights it without thinking, his fingers trembling.

Gods, he can’t say it. He can’t. Jaskier is so happy and Geralt will only ruin their friendship. His second chance is too precious to be risked—

“No, actually,” Geralt heaves out a breath, his heart pounding. “The opposite."

Jaskier snorts, “And, my dear witcher, what is the opposite?”

Here it goes.

“I am in love with you.”

The words sink into the silence. Geralt’s world narrows down to the steady rise and fall of Jaskier’s chest and the little hitch in his breathing. In the darkness of the night, Jaskier’s eyes stay in the shadows, his emotions obscured.

“No, you are not.” When he finally answers, it comes out in a snort. “Ha! A good one, Geralt! And they say witchers don’t have a sense of humor, idiots!”

Jaskier lets out another dry laugh, although the waver in his voice betrays everything.

“I am,” Geralt stresses again, “in love with you, Jaskier.”

Jaskier is staring, the upturn of his lips freezing into shock, the rise and fall of his chest picking up into a frenzy and suddenly he’s breathing too fast. “You can’t. You just can’t…” Air seems to trap in his lungs and a salty tang of tears hits Geralt full-force.

“I wish I couldn’t love, like what they say, but Jaskier, I can and I do—”

“You can’t do this to me!” Jaskier shouts, crying openly. “No, no! You don’t get to tell me this now! We had twenty years…”

Geralt wants more than anything in the world to pull Jaskier into his arms and wipe away the tears, but the space between them is too great. “I didn’t know for twenty years, Jask. Forgive me. It was only after the mountain that I learned how important you were to me. I couldn’t go on like this—”

“The mountain?” Jaskier chokes out a whimper. “You realized after the mountain? You mean when I bared my heart to you and you stomped on it like it was nothing?”

Geralt shakes his head, the guilt constricting his chest. “I’m sorry. For all the pain I caused you.”

“For months I thought I was but a mistake to you, that you hated me for two decades and couldn’t wait to cast me aside like dirt stuck on your shoes. Do you even know… Geralt, do you have an ounce of idea what I went through?”

Jaskier sways and Geralt catches him in his arms, placing his head on his shoulders and feeling the uncontrollable shakes running down Jaskier’s spine. The sight of Jaskier hurt because of him, again, pains Geralt more than any monster’s claws or talons.

“I love you, Jaskier,” he vows. “You were never nothing to me. You are everything. I was an idiot. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Jaskier struggles and swats at his shoulders and Geralt takes it all the while murmuring more sweet nothings into his ear. Finally, when Jaskier calms down, it’s with another whimper. “You are an idiot.”

“I am.” Geralt cradles the nape of Jaskier’s neck, running his thumb in circles, soothing the last of the trembling away. “Just one word from you, Jask, I can take you away. You don’t have to marry him. Just give me the word and I’m yours. Gods, I’ve waited for so long for this day. At last, I’m sure of my heart, just as I’m sure of yours.”

He buries into Jaskier’s hair and inhales the grief and the flowers, and something that is distinctly Jaskier, expecting a whispered plea. Just one word from Jaskier and they can start their new life together.

What he doesn’t expect is the way Jaskier goes stiff in his arms and the hand that pushes him away.

The soft moonlight catches a glint in Jaskier’s eyes, and it speaks of determination. “Valdo,” he says, as if in a dream.

“You don’t have to marry him. We can lea—”

“Valdo will be here soon.” Jaskier sniffles and wipes at his tears frantically. His whole face is puffy from crying and there’s no way he can hide it. “It’s almost midnight.”

Geralt’s world comes to a stop.

“What?”

“Get inside, and don’t say anything about this.”

“I don’t understand. Jask, you don’t need to go through this anymore. I’ll give you anything you ask. Just say the words, please,” he begs for the first time in a century, catching Jaskier’s hand.

“I am saying it. Get inside. Sit in the back row and don’t speak to me. Valdo might be able to tell.” With a few deep breaths, Jaskier school his features back to neutral. “Only the gods know how he can read me like an open book.”

Geralt’s blood runs cold. “Do you love him?”

The anguish by the corner of Jaskier’s lips says everything. It remains as he smiles a crooked smile. “He loves me. Oh, Geralt, he loves me. I can’t hurt him like this.”

“I thought,” Geralt looks down in shame. “I thought I knew your heart.”

“I thought I did too.”

“Then why?”

“You weren’t there,” Jaskier shrugs like it’s the easiest explanation. “He was.”

Despite every cell in Geralt’s body screaming against it, he nods and lets go of Jaskier’s hand, allowing his limp fingers to slip from his grasp at last.

Jaskier has asked it of him after all.

He doesn’t know how he got back into the crowd, the warm light only a blur in his vision. Another group is stopping near the hall, among them is the other groom-to-be. Valdo’s worried voice when he sees Jaskier is another blow to Geralt’s chest.

“Oh, Julian, are you crying?”

“Just…too happy.”

There’s the sound of kissing, and Geralt can’t tune it out. He laughs at himself for the masochistic tendencies, but maybe he deserves the torture.

“No more tears. Let’s get married, my love.”

The guests settle, and the music begins.

The happy couple walks towards the altar in the witness of family and friends, and Geralt watches every moment of it.

If the smile on Jaskier’s face is a bit strained as the priest ties the ribbon, no one seems to notice.

---

A big thanks to anon for the prompt! I asked for some one-word or one-sentence prompts and the next thing I knew they were connecting into a whole story.

Each chapter of this story will be based on a prompt, so send in one if you want to steer it in certain directions ;)

Tagging: @wanderlust-t @rockysstupidity @flowercrown-bard​ @alllthequeenshorses @mothmanismyuncle @percy-jackson-is-sexy- @constantlytiredpigeon @behonesthowsmysinging @kitcatkim3 @endless-whump @rey-a-nonbinary-bisexual @llamasdumpsterfire @dapandapod

Please feel free to tell me if you want to be removed or added to the list <3

[cheekygreenty]

Little Witch - Part 12

the Darkling x Reader

The hour was late as the stars basked in the darkness and cold winter air. The fire roared in its hearth while your still steaming cup of sleep-aiding tea sat untouched on the small table. Your talk with Alina earlier was the cause of your unrest. You didn't know whether to feel sorry for her or be frustrated with her. She is a lovely girl, most pure and kind and quite literally the definition of sunshine, but something about her irked you and you hated it.

Maybe it was her somewhat unhealthy obsession with her friend, the tracker- Malyen Oretsev, or the sheer denial and lack of understanding of her position. Sure, Mal was the only thing that tied her to her old life, a sense of home, but he didn't belong anywhere near the Little Palace and posed a threat to Alina's true potential. She should understand that, no doubt it's been explained to her many times. She was no longer a random girl from the First Army or a Child of Keramzin, she was the Sun-Summoner and had to act the part.

But there was also a nagging feeling in you since your last words with Aleksander, the ones about the stag. From what you could gather, Alina definitely wasn't power-hungry, not yet anyway, and placing an antler anywhere on her would be against her wishes. You knew deep down that whatever he had planned would go far beyond just giving her an amplifier for her sake.

You sighed and moved around on the armchair again, trying to convince yourself those were the reasons you couldn't sleep, that Alina's position in this mess was why your mind wouldn't shut off, but who were you kidding, it was her and him. For starters, she called Aleksander by his name. The second the word left her mouth, your blood ran cold.

__

'Is he not here?' Alina looked to you from over her mug, eyes scanning the room.

'Who?'

'Aleksander, is he away at Kribirsk again?' Your smile faltered and your grip on your own mug loosened. But Alina waited for an answer.

'Oh umm, I don't know.' You did but the shock caused your mind to blank completely.

__

You had known Aleksander for years before he even told you his true name, you had to earn it. She spoke of her General with a fondness, at one point even speaking of him as if he were more than just her commanding officer.

__

'Do you miss the First Army Alina? I know you left friends behind, not just Mr.Oretsev.'

'I suppose I don't feel at home just yet, it's a lot to take in, this whole division of orders thing doesn't help either... But he assures me I am not alone, that I have an equal in the Palace.'

An equal?

__

The heat of the fire was doing nothing to calm down your rising rage. Apparently Aleksander was doing more talking with Alina than you'd thought, even sacrificing his own true name, one only spoken by you and his mother, for her to utter as if it was just another name. So what if you were in his chambers, making use of his office and sleeping in his bed, he clearly had his eyes on two prizes or maybe just one.

You felt sick now, be it from the heat or the anger, you got up and opened a window. The cold and dark night was a stark contrast to the licks of the flame. It made you feel at peace, but only momentarily. You heard voices outside, slowly growing louder. You rested your head against the wall, begging for one last moment of stillness, but alas the door was yanked open and his boots echoed throughout the room. You cursed yourself for deciding to spend another night in his quarters. You thought he'd be gone longer than just 4 days.

'I do hope you made yourself comfortable' His voice was as smooth as the kvas you had downed after Alina left. You wanted to turn around, but the anger was still there and all hell would break loose if you let your emotions run wild again.

'I did thank you. At least you have a desk'

'I'll get you one first thing in the morning'

'No need, I already requested one' Your voice was void of any emotion. Don't start a fight.

'Are you alright?'

'Just tired, being diplomatic is hard work' It sure was right now.

'Might I suggest actually getting into bed then?' His hand slowly came around your wrist and pulled you in the direction of the bedroom but ironically at the simple touch, your anger grew, when it usually has the opposite effect. You saw out of the corner of your eye that he had a genuine smile on his face, one that tended to make you melt but not now. You shrugged him off and walked in the direction of the door, leaving him utterly confused.

'Y/N what's going on.

'I'm tired, I'm going to bed' You tried so hard to act normal, not in any way pissed.

'Y/N look at me'

'Goodnight Aleksander' You couldn't help it, the mockery of his name just came out. There goes the diplomacy.

You heard him quickly walk towards you and tried to get to the door first to escape the tense atmosphere you created but he got there first, blocking your way.

'What?' You threw your hands up in exasperation not yet looking at him.

'Did something happen whilst I was away?'

'No'

'Then what is it'

'Nothing'

'Don't lie to me Y/N'

'Oh but it's okay for you to lie to me' Your eyes finally bore into his.

'Excuse me?' His expression read baffled; annoyed; pissed.

'Move away from the door Aleksander'

'No! You're going to be mature and have an actual conversation with me for once' He asked for it.

'Alright fine, Let's start with Alina''

'Y/N'

'I had a lovely little tea party with her today. Sweet thing. She loves to talk once you get her going. She told me a lot of fascinating stuff, including your name! How interesting don't you think.' Your voice was so cold it even made you shiver.

'I can explain'

'I'm not finished.' You felt that pull in you, that pull that comes before you put your fire or shadows to use but crammed it down with all your might. 'Her best friend hasn't been replying to any of her letters and I can recount there are many of them. Guess what I found in one of your drawers? They are all very poetic don't you think? I'm all for helping her adjust, but that's not help, that's manipulation Aleksander.'

'She won't let him go, It's dragging her down.' He said through gritted teeth.

'Dragging her down or away?' The double meaning in your words didn't go unnoticed by him.

'Y/N all I want to do is go to bed right now, I've had a long day, please.' His hand reached out for yours but you scoffed and moved away.

'You wanted to have this conversation, General, don't shy away when your actions are questioned.'

'Fine' He unblocked the door and crossed the room, throwing his cloak and kefta on the floor with a heavy thud. 'Is there anything else you wish to accuse me of Y/N dearest?'

'Look at you, so bitter but I haven't heard you deny any of it'

'You may go now if you like.' He picked up a decanter of whiskey and poured himself a generous glass

'Since when are you this childish Aleksander. Have I missed something in my 100-year absence?' You mocked.

'You left me with all of this' He gestured to the palace. '-That's what happened.'

'Don't turn this around on me, and I told you that wasn't a choice.'

'The Y/N I knew would have come back and not hid like a coward'

You stilled and waited for any sign of apology, but it never came. He meant it even though he knew how much such a simple statement would hurt you. You turned slowly and walked to the door.

'While I'm gone, at least have the common decency to change the sheets before you bring Alina in here' you shut it loudly behind you and heard the breaking of the glass, no doubt thrown at the door as you were leaving.

What a day.

Taglist

@theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @0-artemis @lostysworld @xceafh @fire-in-her-veinz @patdsinner33 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @wizardwheezes @aleksanderwh0r3 @tomhollandisabae @hotleaf-juice @justmesadgirl @exo-1204 @houseofdupree @oberonpascal @eireduchess

Ok so idk if people can see this but I posted this like a week ago and apparently nobody seen it so here it is!!!!

Part 13

Here's my masterlist!!

[winterpower98]

Winter I am on my hands and knees begging you to give Apple shadow or smoke powers so he can help Macaque do his shadow plays please.

/lh

I was actually talking about this with @wolfcamellias yesterday!

And we've decided that the twins don't have shadow manipulation like Macaque, but something similiar that uses the light instead.

And the catch is that the color of the light changes depending of what strong emotions the twins feel. The base color is a very light shade of purple, but the colors can vary from a deep blue to a bright red.

[greensaplinggrace]

What Is There To Celebrate About the Darkling? (Part 4)

1 2 3 4

He’s calculating but impulsive. Gentle yet firm. Stubborn and adaptive. Just a real mess of contradictions that makes him all the more interesting.

He loves nature. He loves the forest.

Fond of luxuries and nice things. After growing up as he did, I think he deserves them.

Very socially awkward. Introvert just trying his best. Anything that isn’t manipulation and therefore something he’s planned in his head is just a social train wreck waiting to happen.

The way he pushes up Alina’s sleeve when they first meet. This man had zero compunctions about acting completely unprofessionally in front of his soldiers and I think that’s very sexy of him.

He’s constantly tired and exasperated with the people around him.

The way he says “quiet” with the softest voice imaginable and a room full of laughter instantly goes silent.

He had no interest in Elizaveta even though she was utterly obsessed with him and I think that’s hilarious.

Elizaveta: I have a plan to resurrect the Darkling Everybody Else: Oh the Darkling is so evil for trying to come back! The Darkling, who just wants a nap and is sick of this mortal bullshit: Why am I even here? This is such a pain in the ass. I should have killed Elizaveta when I had the chance.

How he asks if Alina “will have” his name like a man proposing.

Has his bedroom attached to the war room.

Constantly checking up on Alina just to know how she’s doing. Never pushing her beyond her limits as she’s training.

Very creative with his shadows and the extent of their abilities. So many of the ways he uses his powers are genius.

His ending in RoW is a tragedy and an injustice. He deserves better.

This old man pouting at Alina in episode seven as he says “please, I just want to talk to you 🥺”

There is a black kefta made for Alina after like two days in the Little Palace. He really was already planning their entire immortal futures together as Mr. and Mrs. Starkov wasn’t he?

His bed is covered in maps and notes when he’s plotting how to find Alina. Also before that, the way he’s poring over the notes at his desk and giving orders is 👌🥵

Him acting like a real General at all is simply amazing.

The fact that he trusts Luda with his life. That they have a whole intimidation routine set up around him purposefully getting himself fatally injured knowing she’ll heal him.

He looks like a vampire in the show and a fae in the books.

His favorite ABBA song is probably “Lay All Your Love On Me.”

Looks composed but that’s only a façade. Is actually an unhinged feral terror of pain and misery.

That scene where he tells the king she will remain in the Little Palace to train undisturbed and he puts his foot down. ON THE RED CARPET. the king’s carpet. and uses a commanding voice that’s just on the edge of an order…I’m surprised he didn’t get flogged for that. IMO nothing conveys the fine line he walks with those in power while wielding his own like this scene. Literally he should just be celebrated for this alone.

“‘Why won’t you leave me alone?’ I whispered one night as he hovered behind me while I tried to work at my desk. Long minutes passed. I didn’t think he would answer. I even had time to hope he might have gone, until I felt his hand on my shoulder. “Then I’d be alone, too,” he said, and he stayed the whole night through, till the lamps burned down to nothing.

Trapped a bunch of Saints in the Shadow Fold like a true amoral disaster villain. What an icon.

His barely concealed amusement and half hidden smile when Alina comes to put his kefta on. The way he finds Alina utterly hilarious and tries so hard to act like he doesn’t.

That small amused smile when Alina jokes about finding Volcra hilarious. Please he’s so adorable 😭

“‘I know what you feel when you’re with the tracker,’ he said. ‘I doubt that’ He gave a dismissive wave.” - My Malarklina obsessed self, vibrating at the edge of my seat: but what does it mean?!?

Mal and the Darkling’s entire fight in the Fold: dumbass on dumbass violence.

The way he stands with his back turned to Alina when she enters his tent the first time they meet and then does the slowest Godfather turn in history. 1999/10 - points removed for a criminal lack of cat petting.

“I may lead the second army, but the king is still the king.” - the delivery of that line. the implications, the history behind it and also the foreshadowing for his plans.

That slow turn face reveal in episode one though. Like okay we get it you’re pretty alkjsdflkj

Confused Old Man Face™ whenever Mal or Alina do anything remotely defiant in his presence.

How he tells Alina to come closer and she only takes the tiniest step and he doesn’t even react.

His little head cock whenever someone says or does something that just doesn’t vibe with him.

Darklina tumblr has now convinced me that the Darkling is a cat in human form.

“You’re an amplifier,” she said. He glanced at where Sylvi was pouncing on another helpless tree, oblivious, and gave a single, frightened nod. How could he have been so stupid? He would have to tell his mother now, and she would insist that they leave right away. If word got out, they’d both be in danger. Amplifiers were rare, hard to find, harder to hunt. Their lives would be forfeit. Even if they got away, word would spread. He could already hear his mother’s voice: Foolish, careless, callous. If you don’t value your own life, show some concern for mine. Annika touched his sleeve. “It’s okay,” she said. “I won’t tell.” Panic crowded in. He shook his head. She slid her hand into his. It was hard not to pull away. He should. He was breaking his mother’s fundamental rule for keeping them both alive. Never let them touch you, she’d warned him. - 😥 I just want to give him a hug all the time.

His strangled shout when Mal tackles him off of the skiff.

His smile when he’s summoning the sun. The expression on his face when he does so. Like I know I’ve mentioned this before but damn. If you ever needed a reason to celebrate him, this would be it.

“Shame, I’ll have to give that speech again now.”

The way he flips Mal over his shoulder in the Fold after Mal attempts to strangle him.

His little lecture on the Small Science to Alina when they’re going to meet the King. Info dump.

“You make it sound so easy.” “A bird makes flight look easy. But it was born to do so.”

When Alina looks at him for guidance on whether or not to remove her veil and he gives her a small nod.

The handhold in the throne room after Alina’s demonstration is absolutely precious, but it’s in a room full of people he should be keeping up a façade for and it’s so unwarranted and yet he does it anyway, I’m-

The way he says “welcome home, Ms. Starkov,” in the most tender voice I’ve ever heard and then goes “ok that’s enough emotions for one day” and then just straight up leaves without even a goodbye.

He has his symbol?? Sewn into Alina’s kefta??? bRo???!?!

Disaster Simp never gets tired of introducing Alina to other people or talking about how she’s the best thing that ever walked this earth.

The Darkling lying: honestly

“I have devoted my life to undoing the great sin of my forebearer, but I am never seen as the solution. Only as a reminder of the problem.” Sasha you were literally the problem. What a manipulative little shit. We love to see it.

The way he closes his eyes and kisses the coin before he makes a wish at the wishing well.

“I think the Grand Palace is the ugliest building I’ve ever seen.” - I love him your honor.

This man has the most intense lines for Alina. Like straight up I would have booked it when he said “you and I are going to change the world”. But then the head grab?! “I’ve been waiting a long time for you.” He’s so intense like sir can you tone it down a bit please I am begging you.

“I shall be right by your side.” / “We can do anything. Together.” / “For us.” / “You cannot do this on your own. And neither can I” / “I want you to know my name. The name I was given, not the title I took for myself. Will you have it, Alina?” - WEDDING VOWS

That scene in the war room when Alina comes to find him and he instantly drops his guard and lowers his arms and welcomes her with a soft voice.

“Am I bothering you?” “Not at all.” - girl you could be stabbing him in the chest and you still wouldn’t be bothering him.

This whipped disaster sounds like the proudest man on the planet when he talks about how much more his enemies fear Alina over him.

His shadows react to his emotions.

“YoUr’E nOt IvAn.” asjlkdfjs god he’s so embarrassing.

Local Dark Lord Sasha offering Alina the throne after she literally tries to kill him.

He gets so jealous of Mal.

Has a great relationship with his soldiers and his men. His men trust him implicitly and believe him to be an amazing general.

When he turns around after Alina puts the kefta on him and looks flustered/has to take a breath because she’s a lot closer than he expected. The way he’s breathless and literally can’t string a sentence together because he’s so distracted by her closeness.

His jokes are absolutely terrible.

GF: *jokes about throwing herself down the stairs to get out of an event* Sasha “no thoughts head empty only Alina” Morozova: haha I’d just have my healers heal you right back up again.

How genuinely touched he is by Alina admitting to wanting to help Grisha and Ravkans.

That scene in Demon in the Woods when he notices the intricate details of the politics in the Grisha camp after one meeting with the Elders. He has the Ulle pegged almost instantly.

Born to be a leader. Born to take care of others. Born to protect. Even in Demon in the Woods he’s protecting people. Even in Demon in the Woods he’s leading them and caring for them.

The way he cups his hands around Alina’s face when they’re kissing.

This man gets so starstruck by Alina walking into the Fete that he doesn’t even excuse himself from the King’s side to go to her.

Long haired Aleksander rights!

Ok I know the wig was kind of ugly but he looks pretty with long hair and I think it would look very good on him naturally.

The way he slams his hands together in the Winter Fete scene and instantly turns the room pitch black.

Literally any times he summons shadows is a blessing and we should all celebrate him for it. They are so beautiful. On god if I ever saw his shadows in real life I would be awestruck.

He asks Mal if he’s okay when they first meet.

The pure, barely contained fury directed at the Conductor for daring to harm Alina and kidnap his Grisha.

He always has to make a grand entrance.

This man is like a bloodhound when it comes to Nina. He is very invested in finding her and I feel like that’s never really talked about.

“I know exactly how she felt. The King’s soldiers treated me the same way. Because they knew- they knew that I was more important than any of them.” - the way he says it, like it’s something he has to remind himself of in his head constantly. a justification for the way he’s been treated, the fear he evokes in others. a way to protect himself from the hurt of being ostracized and reviled. arrogance and conceit as a defense against emotional harm.

Also the way his face instantly changes after that, like he’s said too much. vulnerability. lowering his eyes. shifting his eyes. literally just everything about this scene makes me love him all the more.

Dark carriage rides up to the Crows’ hiding place. Grisha circle the area as Aleksander steps from the carriage slowly, dressed all in black, floofy cloak high on his shoulders. Villain Entrance™

Him slowly pulling a knife out of his chest like it shouldn’t have killed him is hot as fuck and also totally badass. Big dick energy.

“I’ve had enough of your lies.” “And what lies are those?” - Alina, pulling out a fifty mile long scroll of grievances: Well, for starters-

This man is literally just an Alina Starkov compliments machine.

He cares so much about the Grisha and their protection. He loves Ravka and his people so much.

He had an entire cult dedicated to him.

“They would approach him. They always did. But he felt more anxious than usual. He’d stopped trying to make friends in the places he and his mother visited—there was no point when they moved on so quickly. Now he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it.”

Save a Villain. Murder the King.

Openly admits to staging a coup like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

He speaks so slowly. He moves so slowly. Everything he does has to have Purpose and Gravitas.

Theater Nerd™

He knew Nikolai for years and yet couldn’t recognize him as Sturmhond. We do stan an oblivious icon 💕

The Darkling after he gets his ass whooped in Siege and Storm: Mom can you please come pick me up? I’m scared!

He’s here to manipulate sun summoners and murder cities. And unfortunately he’s all out of sun summoners.

Would absolutely get drunk on real alcohol. This man thinks kvas is strong liquor.

Has his wrists exposed exactly one time in the most skin he’s shown all season and it’s when Alina visits him at night in the war room. WHORE!

Was too emotionally slutty and fell for Alina. RIP.

He’s passionate and cold and beautiful and hurt and twisted up in ways nobody could ever hope to understand and he’s stunning.

I would literally kill for this man 🖤✨

[redwinterroses]

RIIIIIIIIIGHT SO.

I just finished chapter 13 of Dog At The Door and holy hot cross buns batman if you're not reading this fic you NEED to. It's literally one of the best written fics I have ever read in my life and I've been reading fanfiction for over 15 years, lol.

I went back and reread the entire fic to lead up to chapter 13 and I decided to treat it like I used to treat things I had to read in college so I took notes as I went and please I am warning you this post is incredibly long. Almost 3k words. PLEASE do not hit that "read more" button unless you're good with having to scroll past it all and also spoilers ahead. Proceed with caution.

~*~

Rereading Dog at the Door reactions (spoilers, obviously):

· Doc finding Ren’s body to be cold and for a second thinking he’s actually dead—my heart

· “That’s Ren, alive and kicking.” Oh…no, Doc. No it’s not.

· The first “Where is my hand?” hits different the second time through

· Gah the ice and winter imagery ALL over the place—my English degree brain wants to watch and see if that shifts to warmth at any point as we go? Thoughts for future Red to think.

· It’s fascinating to me to see Doc constantly thrust into the prey role. This is a guy who is very much not that person normally, but something about the Red King is beyond anything he’s really encountered before—or at least not since Dinnerbone—and it pushes him into an entirely new role that he clearly chafes in

· “I should get back to work on your new arm soon,” he says, making a mental note to add claws to the fingertips. Honestly Doc why tho. XD

· “It feels like something Ren would want him to do.” </3

· Side note: I just watched Doc’s freaking hour long shulker farm vid, and that’s making it a lot easier to hear his voice in this fic

· I’m more curious about the hand.” New Ren laughs a bit at his own words, as though there’s something funny about that phrasing. I MISSED THIS LINE THE FIRST TIME THROUGH

· The bead curtain being cursed hippie treasure XD

· The fact that Doc just so quickly accepts that Ren is gone—maybe not permanently, but at least for now—is kind of heartbreaking. Because you know he hasn’t really accepted it, he’s just… deciding not to feel anything about it. Just nod and move on and pretend you don’t need to stop and cope with the possible/probable death of your best friend and the fact that Someone Else is wearing his skin. That’s so sad.

· “high-fiving the finished hand with his own metal hand.” Aww… Doccy.

· “He shoos away the images of New Ren holding him up by the throat supervillain-style and turns around.” Hmmmmmmm want that fanart. Scary New Ren/RK is good stuff. (post-chapter-13 Red popping in with a WHAT THE HECK)

· “that makes him seem like a ghost in Ren’s body.” YA KNOW. LIKE HE IS.

· Okay side note time: why is the Red King here? Ya know? Like – in 3rdLife the idea of a possessing spirit of bloodlust makes some sense. But why stick around? Was RK trying to escape the 3L server, or was this not deliberate? At what point did he take over from Ren—at Black Heart Altar? In which case, was the whole idea Ren’s to begin with, or was he influenced? Maybe it happened the first time Ren died? The Red King took over then—or at least started to? Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts…

· Wait more theories—what if RK is connected to the ????? entity that spoke to Martyn when he died? In which case, cMartyn said he was considering making that canonically a Watcher (he ended up not doing it, but he also didn’t do anything that contradicted it either). I’m not saying RK is a Watcher… but boy he sure does stare a lot, don’t he.

· Holding the screwdriver like a dagger—mmmm

· Okay funny thought: all this frost, RK’s gonna need to be real careful about rust lol. And straining the metal, tbh, all that freezing and thawing is going to have an effect but the rust idea is making me laugh

· Until I realized it would look like blood and it’s not funny anymore

· “Renbob is in the beanbag stuffed next to the driver’s seat” right so is this where Renbob sleeps because I have been wondering—

· “something about having two people look like Ren when neither of them are makes Doc stop to take a shaky breath” *sob*

· “Renbob clears his throat, looking up at Doc with a smile that is so obviously fake that it hurts.” Ugh the LOT of you stop repressing everything you’ll give yourselves a collective hernia

· “he’ll probably have to break the news to the other hermits, too, Iskall and False and all the others.” All these painful lines I somehow missed the first time through

· Awww warm air comes in when Renbob opens the door—with the flowers and everything, Renbob is so easily associated with spring, I love this contrast.

· Aaand there it is, yup, RK is shocked to see his face on Renbob, and Renbob is shocked to see that this is so clearly Not Ren.

· They both recover pretty quickly, though. Survivors, both of them.

· RK calls Renbob their “ferryman” and I’m not sure if I was supposed to get “crossing the river Styx” vibes from that But I Did. (does RK think he’s dead? That they’re all dead?) (post-chapter-13 Red here with a little bit of wordless screaming.) (and also a bit of pride that I picked up on this.)

· “And what a help you’ve been! Fixing me up, replacing my hand.” Hi yes, 911? there’s a dagger stabbed into my feels.

· “he’d rather remember rage than see another person’s heart break.” Dang that’s such a raw line. Oof.

· ”the Red King says, his voice hoarse with tears.” Really interesting that this blood deity can feel such emotions—like, anger or even fear, I can get. But to see this entity upset to the point of tears is fascinating.

· “There is a crown on Doc’s workbench.” Right, yeah so like—is RK unwillingly manifesting these artifacts? Because that’s wild, man. …how long before he manifests an “enchanter”?

· “I’ve never seen it [the crown] clean before.” Okay that definitely implies that maybe RK didn’t come around until after Black Heart Altar?

· “The Red King has the crown in his lap when Doc turns back around, claws gently tracing over the engravings, leaving frost patterns behind.” I really wish I had art skills because there’s this image in my head of a drawing of the crown held in RK’s hands, with his face (one eye glowing, one in shadow) reflected in the surface, and frost patterns following behind a claw that’s daintily tracing the surface. But I can’t draw so—

· RK asks for a change of clothes. What was he wearing when they rescued him, I wonder? The Red King outfit with the fur capelet? Or Ren’s Stargazer outfit? Which begs the question: where does Stargazer fit into all this? Was Ren’s return to Hermitcraft RK free, but when he came so close to dying to Sith, RK found that as a gateway to take over? (Post-13 Red here, Looking Intently at this note.)

· Awww… the image of a one-legged RK clutching new clothes to his chest and hopping down to change in the bathroom… That’s weirdly endearing. He’s less menacing when he stands up somehow. Less lurking, maybe.

· Oooohhhhh he messed up his back sleeping on the floor. Gotcha.

· Doc keeps telling himself (and RK) that saving him and working on these parts is “the right thing to do” and while he’s not WRONG I just want to see him realize that it’s not only the right thing, it’s realistically the only thing, because if he didn’t, then he’d have to deal with the fact that he’s lost his best friend and we can’t have that.

· “I don’t need to eat” ummmmmm no hold on this definitely implies that RK is possessing a dead body and I’m not okay with that where is Ren

· LOLOL “I can’t stand to see [you do] this” is such a raw line to be about watching Doc eat cereal with his hands

· “The voice doesn’t belong to who he thinks it does.” Ugh, Doc. This isn’t the first time he’s lost a close friend to Something Else, something otherworldly.

· “All of them are waiting for him, waiting for him to do something more, something better—” aaand there it is. Doc’s characterization in this fic in a single sentence.

· Doc waking up and thinking he’s seeing Ren and RK’s hesitation and the gentle “I’m not Ren”—OH MY HEART

· RK’s coffee = Renbob’s friendship bracelets

· Randomly can I just say that I love how RK’s dialog is all in italics? It concerned me at first because I thought it was going to keep pulling me out of the narrative, but instead it really just feels right. Also I’m looking forward to the moment when he says something and it’s not in italics because it’s REN and oh my lands please give this to me I beg you (post-13 Red here with a bit more mindless screaming)

· “watch your tongue with me, Atlas, because I’m the one person you can pass the sky to.” Okay okay okay—English studies brain coming out. This suggests that there is a burden RK and Doc can share: something Doc is currently struggling against that only RK can help him with. In the moment, I don’t know if this is really fair of RK to say—after all, Doc does technically have Renbob too, if we’re just talking about Doc’s unhealthy coping mechanisms. In fact, if that’s the context, then Renbob is a much better fellow-Atlas because he and Doc have known each other much longer and they’re both dealing with the loss of Ren. BUT, knowing about the upcoming conversation where Doc and RK both realize that they’ve lost someone (Ren for Doc, Martyn for RK) this line suddenly has a lot more weight. Again, I don’t think that in that moment RK quite has the right to pull this zinger. But in later context, it turns out to be true after all. They are the only two with this particular shared pain.

· Doc upset with himself because he can’t get over his “stupid hang-ups” DOC MY LAD. “I’ve lost my best friend, you’re in his body, and I don’t know how to process any of these emotions” is not a “stupid hang-up” PLEASE stop blaming yourself for everything!?

· “I’m so tired” in the middle of his nightmare—oh my gosh. That hurts so much for some reason.

· I also very much wish I had the ability to draw the image of Doc with tears on his face, staring dead-eyed down at his workbench while RK looms over from behind, pinning his wrists to the table with one metal arm and one frost-bitten one, a look of exasperation and concern on his face. Why can’t I draw the things

· “How do you know Etho” “I watched him die.” OW ow ow ow ow

· Doc takes this as calmly as only someone used to living in a world where death has low consequences can. Oh. Oh—that means… huh. Doc isn’t used to losing people permanently on any basis, especially not death. So no wonder he doesn’t know how to process Ren being gone (I can’t bear to write “dead” there). He literally doesn’t have context for it… and what context he DOES have is like—I mean, Etho and Bdubs came back. Ouch.

· “Twenty-five.” The Red King makes the number sound like a threat. Yet another banger line I missed the first time through. Imagine waking up and thinking you’re in 3rd Life again but instead of 14 players there’s almost twice that many and you think you don’t know any of them.

· I still don’t quite understand the “when was etho added/should have known there was something different” bit or why RK is so emotional about it… but I have trust that it’ll make sense at some point. (post-13 Red: ...is this something about the fact that he thinks he's dead...so he thinks Etho has died before? Like, that 3rd Life wasn't Etho's first hardcore? ...I feel like I'm almost grasping this but I'm missing an element somewhere.)

· And now a sword. RK. My man. You need to stop manifesting things—especially when they scare the ever-living daylights out of you.

· I absolutely adore the in-universe lore that Fire Aspect is a PvP enchantment because it threatens dropped loot, and yeah I very well might steal that. (Along with something I read at one point who-even-knows-where that Knockback is a coward’s enchantment, because I love that too.)

· He really shouldn’t. / Doc picks up the sword by the scabbard and hands it to him, hilt extended. Doc you already trust this guy so much and you don’t even know it—but is it just because you still subconsciously trust the face he wears? Or is it something deeper?

· Ugh, the “I was supposed to kill someone for him” conversation/scene is SO FREAKING GOOD

· “I don’t want it. Not like the crown.” Why, though? Why doesn’t he want it? Because it’s more to do with death than kingship? OH. Oh, I hadn’t even considered that. I’ve been thinking of RK as this like, god of blood and vengeance but maybe he’s not. Maybe he hates the bloodshed (“the blood! It’s drippin’ in me eyes… I’ve been blinded by the violence…”) just as much—more?—than Ren did/would have. Huh. That’s a new facet.

· Oh my heart the “have you ever lost someone and it was your fault” line. Dagger to the feels. Dagger to the feels.

· This like… “I’m on a roll and even though I know I should stop I really don’t want to” mode? Man. That’s relatable. Especially when you’re working to avoid dealing with something else.

· “Not making it for you—it’s for Ren” oh ouch ouch ouch the denial suddenly breaks through it’s okay, Doc I’m with you on this

· The second time reading through it’s far clearer that Doc has a blind panic attack here—when he starts rambling that Ren’s coming back, he’ll be there for season eight and RK goes to…do whatever he was going to do and Doc just blanks out. The manic productivity should have been a warning sign, the poor guy is crumbling.

· “Doctor” and “he’s not sure he deserves that title right now” UGH Doc needs a hug someone please hug him and tell him it’s all going to be okay. Someone please hug me and tell me it’s all going to be okay.

· “his hand on his throat” over the scar from the Red Winter axe? </3

· “I did do that. I have done that.” RK admitting to it actually having been him in Doc’s nightmares?

· Okay sorry the conversation about beating Dinnerbone will never not be funny to me

· RK mentions that people used to call him m’lord or Ren, and then mere minutes later you have “Ren. You couldn’t save him because of me, could you?” He knows exactly what’s going on here. Not maliciously, but he’s no dense-head, he’s put the pieces together. (post-13 Red: MOST of the pieces. Most of them.)

· Watching Doc slowly stop fighting his nightmares—like, the first time, he fights. The second time, he accepts it but still struggles. And this time… this time he gives up before it even starts. That hurts, man.

· Good grief the whole “get my head chopped off” / “you really don’t want that” bit. O.O I’m not sure what emotion I’m feeling but I’m Feeling An Emotion.

· “Snow’s new. Dream’s not.” </3

· …Doc’s not gonna be a fan of snowier-snow after this trip…

· "Dr. M77" Actually he’s Doc Monster, RK, but we’ll let it go. XD

· OKAY BUT THIS EXCHANGE? The “how are you feeling” / “better” / “you’re a bad liar” / “I said better not great” that’s such a good exchange and I don’t know why every other time I’ve ever seen it used they stop at the lying accusation? Doc with the snappy comebacks, man.

· Aaah, Doc and RK, two establishment bros bonding over a shared disdain for hippies.

· The bit about the fella who wore an iron helmet and called it a powdered wig—fear is in my heart. *shoves Scar into an obsidian box and blocks it closed*

· “Who was Ren to you?” </3

· Doc is more than willing to spread the flames, to sear his loss into RK’s bones. / The king’s face stops him. Ren’s face stops him. Holy CRAP is that a good set of lines. So much going on there, and ALL of it good.

· Again. I wish I could draw. I would draw RK sitting on the edge of the bed, gently hugging a collapsed-in-on-himself Doc. </3

· “And I hate the devil that forced us apart, that mixed my blood with his.” *adds another layer to Scar’s obsidian fort*

· OKAY STARTING CHAPTER THIRTEEN I made the mistake of logging into Tumblr earlier and saw people screaming so I’m sure I’m not ready for this but here we go

· Oh no RK has been hippie-ified

· “You started a paramilitary organization because you have hay fever?” *dies laughing*

· Ugh I need to go back and watch s6 I’ve only seen the tail end of Mumbo’s side of things and there’s so much I don’t know.

· HAHAHAHAH I do know the trident bit though—

· Wait he said Scar

· PANIC

· “Kingslayer. bloodthirsty. Time King. The coward. And the mastermind behind it all, the loyal soldier to the very end, the whole damn reason either of us are in this mess.”

· HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY—

· “Is this the afterlife I deserve? After everything, this is the hell I’m going to endure?” I AM SCREAMING

· Doc pinned to the wall with ice, struggling to breathe—I CAN’T WHAT IS HAPPENING

· ((You know I’d get through this a lot faster if I stopped pausing to write reactions—))

· “A break in the ice. A whisper of spring.” Symbolism. Symbolism.

· “Ren was dead when I found him again,” NO I REFUSE TO READ THIS

· “don’t use the hand I built you to hurt yourself” DOC. SIR. MY HEART.

· RK don't run, RK get back here—what are you—

·

·

· I

· JUST

· ACTUALLY

· SCREAMED

· AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

· *several long moments of just breathing*

·

·

·

· *rereads*

· Holy crap on a garbage cracker with an extra serving of what-the-heck sauce

· REN

· REN

· Okay lol okay hahaha calming down

· I literally threw myself back in my chair away from the computer reading that last paragraph. I don't usually... physically react to things I read. LOL. Heh. I’m. Ah. I’m not emotionally invested in this or anything.

· Holy crap.

· Okay. Okay. Okay.

· Um.

· Great chapter, guys. Awesome stuff. Really good. I’m absolutely okay right now and it’s all totally fine.

· …please enjoy your break and get lots of rest and I very much look forward to the return of this fic you have no idea.

· I need to go breathe for a little bit.

EDIT: no, you know what--I'm not going to be a nice polite fangirl over here and quietly hope y'all see this I'm straight up tagging you, @fluffy-papaya and @betweenlands. THANK YOU but also how dare.