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byunpum · 4 months

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Back to you | Part 1

Pair: Jake(human and avatar) x Neytiri x Human reader (trio couple)

Warning: None, i think kinda sad. More in future, maybe soft-smut in the future.

Note: I'm still alive after disappearing for 1 month. Ahh omg, it's been so long, I'm so sorry. A lot of things have happened, more good than bad. But we're back…and as I had posted. Here I bring you this story, based on my mini-series 'mama's boy'. Here I share with you how our characters are paired up. I hope you like it, and let me know what you think and if I should continue with the mini-series. Love ya <3

+Read 'Mama's boy' HERE+

AVATAR MASTERLIST| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (final)

You were feeling uncomfortable in the metal chair, which was placed next to the bonding machine, which allowed humans to use their avatars. Since the routine expedition, Jake had not returned. Everyone knew he was alive, but where was he? No one knew. Grace had asked you as a favor to monitor him until he returned. You weren't complaining, but you had avoided having any contact with Jake. He reminded you of things…Not even 20 minutes had passed, when the machine made a noise indicating that it would open. You get up from the chair as quickly as you can, to assist Jake. You help him open the lid, finding a confused, sweaty Jake with a stupid grin that made your heart pound. “You won't believe where I am?” says Jake, as you let out a big sigh and shift your gaze to Grace.

“Oh my god…you're back!!!” shouts grace from her desk. Coming towards you, she was already releasing a machine to take jake's blood pressure. “Grace…I'm in” says Jake, the man was lying on his shoulders. He was still a little weak, you force him to drink water from a bottle. Taking his chin to make him open his mouth. While grace looks at him with confusion. “What?” grace continues to work on adjusting the machine on his arm. Jake had been so many hours without using his body, he could pass out at any moment. “Yes…they accepted me. I'm inside their home” jake, looks at you. “You're in the tree home?” you ask. You watch as he nods his face quickly. Grace takes jake's face in her hands, and gives him a warm smile. “I can't believe it…are you serious?!!!” grace was shocked. They had tried to get in, but it was impossible. “I'm with a girl…ahhh netyy ahhh” jake tries to remember and pronounce the name correctly of the girl who is supposed to help him adjust. “Neytiri?” you speak softly, but loud enough for jake to hear you. “Yes her” jake speaks up.

Grace looks at you quickly and she can see the sadness in your gaze. You change your face and mood, moving away from Jake, helping him to put his weight down. Turning away from them, you bump into norm who had approached you moments before. “Are you okay?” norm asks, touching your shoulder, but you push him away. Walking as fast as you could away from them, you wanted to get out of there. You felt short of breath and were wiping away tears hiding your emotion. She was fine. It had been so long since you had heard from her. On the other side a group of friends are confused, “What's wrong with her, did I say something wrong?” asks Jake, looking at Grace. The woman was still looking towards the exit, sighing deeply. “It's a long story…come on out of there you need to rest and tell me everything” says grace, helping Jake into his wheelchair.

Lunchtime came quickly, and the entire team was gathered in the dining room eating dinner. The group of scientists were very excited and focused on every word that came out of Jake's mouth. It had been so long since they had been able to have a connection with the Omaticaya clan. Even grace was giving him their undivided attention. Meanwhile you and norm were standing a little away from the group, eating the disgusting food. You couldn't help but laugh at the look on norm's face, you could tell he was very upset. You kicked his foot a little, “hey get that face away” you scolded him, but you saw how he snapped with his teeth. “I can't stand this… it's a very unfair” norm says. “Unfair?” you ask, as you put a mouthful of food in your mouth. “Yes, Tom has been studying for 3 years and I've been studying for over 6 years…and where am I? sitting here, doing nothing. In fact, if anyone in the whole RDA deserved to be with the omaticaya clan, it's you. You've been in pandora all your life…you're part of the clan” speaks norm annoyed, seeing how you interrupt him with your index finger. “Ah ah was…past!!!” you speak, lowering your gaze for a moment. Some memories come to your head, yes, it was very true what norm said, you were once part of the omaticaya clan…but it's been so long. Maybe… they have forgotten about you. “Norm…I understand your discomfort, but there's nothing we can do, the pretty boy was lucky to be accepted” you joke, seeing Norm's disgusted face. “Jake pretty boy?!!!! You have to be crazy” you laugh loudly, looking at the group of scientists who were still harassing jake. “Well…you were tom's girlfriend, that says a lot about you” Norm says, now he was the one laughing at you. “We weren't boyfriend and girlfriend…we just spent a few nights together” you speak up, laughing with your friend.

While you and Norm were still laughing, for a moment you see Jake look at you and give you a smile. You return it, seeing how jake makes a help signal with his hands. You laugh even harder, but you feel Norm pinch you “don't be fooled by the enemy” says Norm “Norm let me go!!!” you roll your eyes back. Norm could sometimes be very very annoying. But you were used to it, he had always been like that.

You remember when norm and tom came to pandora. Just for their studies, and you were the first to meet them. From then on… you had grown very fond of them. When the news that tom had been killed reached your ears, you were heartbroken, again…but you got over it little by little. But with the new member of the group, it wasn't very easy. Since Jake had arrived, he hadn't taken his interest in you, and to make things worse for you. Grace had delegated all responsibility for Jake's avatar to you, so if anything happened to him it was your fault. And the last thing you wanted was for a $20 million dollar avatar to happen to him, or else the RDA was going to kill you.

After the meal, and when everyone was about to go to their respective rooms. Norm had gone ahead walking as fast as he could through the cold corridors of the RDA. You were walking more calmly, plus you wanted to meet Jake. You felt you owed him an apology for leaving him alone. By pure chance you find him, you see that he was talking something with Quaritch. You look at him with concern, if you knew one thing, it was that quaritch never had good intentions, if he wasn't given anything in return. When you see both men stop talking, you decide to approach jake. “Hello” you speak softly, catching the man's attention. Jake turns around, with a small smile. Lifting his gaze. “I'm all ears” jake says. You had barely spoken to jake since he arrived, so you were a little nervous. “One question…ahh where did you leave my avatar?” you ask. “Your avatar? It's in a safe place” jake says. “Yeah, but what safe place?” you wanted him to be more literal, because his concept of safety might be very different from yours. “I'm sleeping in some kind of giant leaf…ahh I don't remember” jake speaks up, shuffling his hair.there was a short silence between the two of you, but you decide to speak. “You're in the big tree?” you speak. Jake can see your eyes light up for a moment. “Yes…that. There I am” jake can see you kneel down in front of him, and move much closer. Placing your hands on his knees. As if whatever you were going to ask him, you didn't want anyone else to hear. “And how did you see everything? Is everyone okay?” you ask. “Yeah…normal, there's only one who seems to be a bother and he's warrior…I don't remember his name” jake says and can see how you smile softly. “That's tsu'tey” you speak. “That same one, do you know him?” jake gets closer to your face, and you quickly push him away. “Ahh thank you for answering me…see you tomorrow” you get up quickly, and leave quickly. Before you continue walking to your room, you stop “By the way…sorry for leaving you alone when you wake up, next time I'll take better care of you” you apologize, and turn to continue on your way.

Jake stood there confused, he thought you looked kind of strange. But cute…very cute. He could understand his brother now. Laughing to himself, he started on his way to his room. Although he must admit that he found it even stranger, that you knew the name of that navi. It was assumed that only people who have an avatar have had contact with the Omaticayas, and he understands that not all of them have. How did you know that?

The next day came quickly, and Jake had almost no time to wake up…because he had to get up early. Wiping his eyes, he was already sitting on the edge of the connection machine. “Good morning” you hummed, approaching him. You had a cup of coffee in your hands, offering it to him with some vitamins. “Good morning gorgeous” jake chuckles, as he can as norm makes a dirty face. “Here…you'll need this” you hand him the stuff. “And this?” jake asks. “It's some vitamins that will help your body not collapse from not eating all day and a coffee” you speak, as you practically force jake to take it all. Grace approaches you, accompanied by Norm. “Well, here's the information,” says Grace, showing Jake a screen. On it was all of neytiri's information. You come to Jake's side, looking at the screen with a warm smile. “Please don't disrespect her….y do not be a jerk” norm speaks, giving jake a dirty look. “You're just upset because I'm the one going on a date with the leader's daughter” jake says in a mocking voice. Grace rolls her eyes and tells you to take care of hooking Jake up. As jake lies down, you approach him. “ Advice…don't try to flirt with neytiri” you speak up. Watching as jake raises an eyebrow, and laughs a little. “There you go…and how do you know that?” he speaks. You now give him a big smile, but one of sarcasm. “I know why I say that” you speak, as you turn away from jake. “You should listen to her,” Grace shouts from the distance. “Good luck…soldier” you speak, being the last face jake saw to wake up in his avatar body.

And yes, jake should take your advice, you knew neytiri more than anyone. And yes you were hating the fact that he could be with her. It had been so many years since you last saw her, you didn't even get to say goodbye…nothing. The last time you saw Neytiri was when that tragedy happened at school. You sigh a little, as you begin to prepare the week's paperwork. But your thoughts are interrupted when you feel grace sit down next to you. “I have good news… a new project is coming out tomorrow,” says Grace. You look at her curiously. “Project?” you ask. Grace's face ascends. “Yes…we need to be closer to the clan, a place we are safe, but we can still get on with the project 'jakesully” says grace, watching you laugh. “I was able to convince the RDA idiots to have a bunker, where we can have a team, a small lab. i'm counting on you, right?” grace looks at you with a raised eyebrow, waiting for your answer. “Can I refuse?” you speak, feeling Grace hug you and press a kiss to your hair. “It'll be for the best… we'll have a great time, no personal space” grace jokes, as you groan loudly.

And as if by magic, within a week you were in the bunker in the middle of the jungle. Norm, grace, judy, jake and you. Although judy came and went from time to time to get everything you needed. Even though she used to get away so often, she was part of the team. You adjusted too quickly, it seemed to be comfortable. And the comfort you felt around Jake was increasing too, and very quickly. This seemed to be nice for grace, she liked to see you happy and excited about something or someone…it had been a long time since she had seen you like this. Watching from afar, as you wiped jake's face with a wet rag. “I'm not a baby” says Jake, as you wipe his eyes. While you hold your face with both hands. “Yeah but you're barely taking care of yourself…I know your avatar body is amazing, but you're here” you touch his chest and feel his heart. “Can you feel it moving? It's that fast for you “ jake jokes, watching you laugh and turn away from him. “That was the worst thing you've said so far” norm complains from behind you, as he sips his coffee.

You liked it when jake would go back to his body in the afternoon, and do his video documentaries. And you could listen to everything he had learned, plus he would also tell you everything he had done with neytiri. “It's just that it's hard to use the bow…it's” Jake would explain with his hands, you could see the frustration in his eyes and gestures. Neytiri could be very rude at times, but that was the way it was and he had to learn. “The trick is to put pressure on the back arm” you move, and show him the pose. “And boom…done” you joke. Jake shakes his head to the side, watching as you continue to explain how he should do things. Just like neytiri was doing, they were explaining almost identically. Jake leans forward and brushes a strand of hair away from your face. Tucking it behind your ear. “Thank you” you speak timidly, now pulling away. “Thank you for helping me” jake says.

Since you had gotten closer to him, he had improved so much with the lessons with neytiri. If she told him something, he would ask you as soon as he returned to his human body. And you answered him without hesitation, sometimes he didn't understand how you knew so much about the clan. Only grace and a few avatars were supposed to have had contact with the clan, norm could know some things. But you were an expert. And your advice is really paying off. Now jake was in his avatar body, he was holding the bow again, and he remembered what you had said to him. “Neytiri was asking you to put strength in your arms, so you will be more accurate in your shooting” jake remembered your words, he adjusted his stance. Neytiri was approaching him, but stopped short. When she noticed Jake's stance, she stood watching him. Seeing how the shot was perfect. “Well done” says neytiri, watching as jake smiles at her. She was wondering how he had improved overnight. But if she could tell, it was the technique jake was using…it was very similar to yours. Neytiri tries to distract herself and keeps walking towards the prey.

For a moment during the day, the two of them had sat down in a nice quiet meadow to eat something to eat…neytiri was minding her own business eating her food. But she could feel jake's gaze, he might change his gaze once or twice. But he would look back at her. “ What are you looking at so much?” speaks neytiri without taking her eyes off her fruit. Jake remains thoughtful for a moment. “That necklace around your neck” jake points to the woven necklace neytiri had around her neck, she touches it while looking at it warmly. “What is it?” jake asks, but he thinks he knows the answer. The reason he's asking is because the night before, when he came over to fix your hair. He could see you had that same necklace, he wanted to believe it was something grace gave you. But today he noticed the same one on Neytiri and was surprised. They were identical. “This…” neytiri holds her necklace tightly. “This is a memory of her” neytiri says, she stops eating for a moment. She could look thoughtful, like she was remembering someone. “Her?” asks jake. Neytiri looks at him slowly, you could see her little teary eyes. But she gets up suddenly, “Come on…we have a lot of things to do” says neytiri. Jake stands up behind her, and catches her hand to stop her for a second. “Neytiri…are you okay?” the boy asks. Neytiri squeezes jake's hand for a moment, looking down and taking a deep breath. “Yes,” she says. Starting to walk to a new route, but Jake could tell how she didn't let go of his grip and continued to hold his hand tightly. Jake didn't refuse at any point, neytiri is not very affectionate to say the least, and the fact that she was still holding his hand. It meant that she needs him right now.

That same afternoon, when jake and neytiri came home from training, they had lunch with the whole clan. And lay down to rest in their respective places, neytiri waited a few minutes to carefully lift her head and see if jake had finally fallen asleep. She had her home with her parents, being still single, neytiri could live with her parents. But right now, she had the task of training and taking care of Jake. So she had to be wherever he was. Neytiri notices how Jake is asleep. Getting up from her hammock, to walk carefully in the branches. Leaving the resting area, running carefully to her ikran. “sense…come on” says neytiri, climbing into her ikran quickly. flying away from the familiar tree, she hopes no one was following her, because she was heading to a place she only knew about.

Not far away, there was a very tall tree. Too tall to be anything but scary for anyone to come and interrupt. Neytiri leads Seze to a giant branch, which had a beautiful view of the jungle of Pandora. Neytiri climbs down from the ikran, stroking the creature's head, stretching a little. To approach the tree trunk, picking up a small bag. Now to sit on the edge of the branch. She sighs a little, looking at the scenery. Opening the bag, and taking out of it a piece of paper. Very carefully she unfolds it and laughs to see what was drawn on it.

A cute doodle drawing…on it were two girls. Neytiri laughs to herself, as she touches the paper wistfully. “I hope you never forget me…my Y/N” Neytiri speaks softly. Hugging the paper carefully, this was the only thing I had of you.

What do you think? should I continue? btw, If you want to be tagged, let me know.<3

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cripplecharacters · 2 months

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hi there, i really appreciate this blog! i was wondering if you had any advice when it comes to writing characters who use mobility aids (manual wheelchair and cane) and things that are like, pet peeves or cringey to see written? other than the big ones like “wheelchair bound” or having people just grab their chair or otherwise be disrespectful. i’m thinking more “little things that make it seem like the author is clueless” lol. thank you!

Hi!

You can check out our main #mobility aids or #wheelchairs or #canes tags for the general info! If you have a more specific question, feel free to send another ask:-)

I will talk about my own cane pet peeves because oh boy:

The most glaring, obvious, author-is-so-clueless-it-hurts thing I have somehow seen multiple times is when the writer/artist doesn't understand the difference between a mobility cane and a white cane. Usually in the form of giving their blind character the same kind of stick I use for my mobility issues. Of course, a person could need both for different disabilities! That very much happens. However, it's absolutely never the case in this kind of scenario. This one is an example of a lack of basic research so bad that it circles back to being kinda funny.

The writer not knowing which side the cane would go on for the character. Obviously, in real life, there's a whole lot of hyper-specific scenarios why someone could use it the ""wrong"" way and why it would work for them specifically, some users can also use either hand for the cane; it all depends on why they use it. The problem that I have is when the writer doesn't have a single clue about any of it and just gives their character with a bad knee and nothing else the cane on the same side. Again, shows lack of basic research.

As a certified knob cane hater, I can't just not talk about them here. They're so bad. So non-functional. Don't serve their function as a mobility device because they literally aren't one! That's a fashion accessory. Unless your character has a wrist of steel and doesn't mind that the aid meant to help with stability does the exact opposite, I guess.

I know a bunch of people will disagree with me, but I think the whole sword cane thing sucks. Sorry. The only time I don't roll my eyes on this one is when the writer is also a cane user. I always felt like it checked out two tropes that I hate, the "abled character pretends to be disabled and is actually dangerous" and the "abled writer thinks mobility aids are boring and has to stick a gun in them to justify their existence".

The cane that somehow makes the user non-disabled. Sounds contradictory, I know. I mean the kind of scenario where the character is Weak and Frail™ but then they get the cane and are suddenly just fighting, running, jumping, doing god knows what. Like, did they author forget what the cane is used for? Obviously it will depend on the character's disability how much the cane mitigates symptoms, but this writing choice always feels bizarre to me. My cane is here so that I'm not in as much pain or to help my gait disorder, it certainly doesn't turn me into an abled man who just happens to have a stick in hand.

All these tired old person or similar jokes/comparisons are probably not that funny. We get it, older people use canes. It's not even cringy or whatever, it's just so unbelievably boring it's hard to react to it with anything else than an eye roll anymore.

Apologies for the extremely late reply! I hope it helps :-)

mod Sasza

#mod sasza #anonymous #mobility aids #canes

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anasanthology · 1 year

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Two’s A Company, Three’s A Crowd, Four… is Just Perfect

WARNINGS: NSFW 18+ MDNI (I don’t care who reads just if your account age is set to under 18 don’t interact please), praise kink, breeding kink, very light choking, lowkey Soft Dom!Ethan Winters, possibly super light degradation but not really, overall pretty tame, fem-specific gendered terms. Not proofread.

Notes: MY FIRST FIC BE NICE!!! Honestly, I can’t tell if this is bad or not 👀 This took me days to finish because I lost energy like half way through 😭 Sorry if it’s a little ooc, I tried to not do that but it might be 🫣 ANYWAYS, hope you like it 😁 if you have any comments JUST SAY THEM they will be appreciated 💕 hope you like, lovelies ☺️

3.6k words | Ethan Winters x AFAB!Reader

You stand on the porch of a small townhouse. Feeling the cool air blow around you, you try to make yourself smaller in your coat. It was freezing outside, but gas was expensive so you walked. The sweet burn of prolonged cold nipped at your fingertips and exposed ankles. The distant cries of a young child getting louder, accompanied by heavy fevered footsteps. The door swings open and a man pokes his head out giving you a weak tired smile.

“Are you the babysitter?”

“Yes.”

That was 9 months ago, and you wouldn’t have even imagined that would have led to this.

***

“What?” Your eyes widened. ‘What did she just say?’

“I asked if you could give me a little sister. My friend has a little sister and she said that her daddy helped her mommy build her in her tummy.” Rose kept on coloring with her crayons as she talked, “Mommy’s not here, but daddy could help you,” She smiled at you then looked towards her father, “right daddy?” Ethan’s body visibly tenses at the question and he lets out an awkward laugh.

“I don’t think it works like that Rosie.”

“Why not?”

“Cause…” he swallows thickly, “cause it has to be a mommy and daddy, and she’s not a mommy.” Rose crosses her arms and puffs out her cheeks.

“That’s dumb!” She throws her crayons onto the paper and pouts.

“How ‘bout we go to bed, Rose.” You suggest.

“‘M not tired!”

“If you lay down now I’ll have time to read you that book you like, I’ll even do the funny voices.” Rose’s entire demeanor changes.

“Really? Like it when you do the fish, it’s silly.” She giggles.

“It is silly, now let’s go!” You grab Rose’s hand and lead her to her room to put her to bed. “Long ago, a young girl went with her mother to pick berries for her father who was hard at work…” You read to her making sure to do the voices extra dramatic, you always added in new voice lines to make it a little more entertaining and she loved it everytime.

***

“She’s asleep.” You walk into the kitchen finding Ethan pouring a glass of wine.

“She loves it when you read to her. Thought it was gonna be a lot harder to get her to bed since she missed her nap today.” Ethan huffed with amusement. “I can never get her down that easily, she always says I’m doing the voices wrong and that you do it better.”

“Does she really?” You walk up to the counter he’s standing by.

“Every time.” He laughs then holds his glass to you, “you want some?”

“Maybe a glass, I don’t wanna stumble home.”

“I’ve told you that I could pay for your gas to and from here, it’s not that big of an expense and it’s getting cold out.” That was Ethan, always worried about everyone else even when it inconvenienced him.

“No,” you just shake your head, “I don’t mind it. Plus, I get more steps in.”

“If your legs get cut off from frostbite you won’t get any steps in.” He starts pouring you a glass, he had already taken one out for you before you even came into the room.

“God, Ethan!” Your eyes widened and you laughed, “you’re so morbid!”

“I’m just trying to look out for you,” he slides you your glass, “and if you can’t babysit anymore I don’t think Rose will ever sleep again.” You take a sip of your drink and slosh the wine around your glass.

“Guess I’ll have to start searching for wheelchair ramps then!”

“Okay, smarty pants.” Ethan rolls his eyes.

“Or you could get her that sister, bet a new baby in the house will tire her out.” You nudge his shoulder and giggle. Ethan’s body tightens up next to you.

“Oh I… yeah that could work.” He laughs nervously and looks away as a light blush dusts his cheeks. “I’m sorry for that by the way, she… Rose has been asking for a sister since I started socializing her at that parent support group place.” You notice his embarrassment and lean in.

“Oh don’t worry, Ethan. She’s just a kid, she didn’t know what she was saying. Bet though if you bring it up in like ten years she’ll be totally embarrassed!” Ethan lets out a soft laugh but is still visibly tense.

“Yeah, probably…” he chews his lip and sucks in a breath.

“You ever thought about it?”

“W-what?” He seemed to just about jump out of his skin.

“Have you ever thought about having another kid?” You give him an amused look.

“Oh. Uh… sometimes.” Color fills his cheeks and he looks away. It was a lie. He thought about it constantly. All Ethan wanted was more kids. He just understood how much he already struggled raising Rosemary alone, and didn’t want her or another kid to suffer from his irresponsibility.

“What did you think I meant?” You giggled and leaned in a little further, now starting to enter his space. Maybe it was the wine that emboldened you, or maybe that was just your excuse.

“I uh…” he huffed out a laugh, “I thought you meant kids with you specifically.” Immediately after saying that he realized what had just left his mouth. Wine always seemed to make him unable to shut up.

“Oh.” Your face heated up not expecting him to be so straightforward. “Well, have you?” You ask in a quieter voice.

“No! I…” he exhales and looks over at you, you guys just look at each other in silence for what feels like forever. “Yes.” His voice was so quiet if you hadn’t been laser focused on him you would’ve missed it.

“Really?” You whispered back. You didn’t sound angry or even surprised, just hopeful. He nodded.

“Have you thought about it?”

“Yes.” You answered immediately, what did you have to hide now? He wanted it too.

“You have?” Ethan looks at you completely shocked. After the words left his mouth he expected you to yell at him, slap him even, for being a creep—rightfully so, in his opinion—and then quit on the spot, not agree.

“I have.” You bite your lip and look into your glass, heat starts climbing to your face. The fact that you had thought about that… Ethan could feel his cock start to kick at his thighs.

“And what are we gonna do about that?” His voice came out a lot shakier than he intended. Sounding more like he was genuinely curious rather than confident and flirty like he intended. It didn’t matter though, hearing those words come from him made your breath hitch.

“Well…” you bite your lip thinking for a minute. ‘Oh what the hell.’ Grabbing his shirt you pull him closer and press your lips to his. It wasn’t really a hot passionate kiss, more just a ‘I really hope you don’t fire me’ kiss, well at least it wasn’t at first. Ethan’s body relaxes after a few seconds, his hands come to your waist to pull you against him. The tip of his tongue peeking from between his lips to lick a hot stripe across your bottom lip. Suddenly you’re jumping up to sit on the kitchen counter and parting your thighs so he can slot himself between them. You let your hands wander behind his back and grab at his shirt as his start to rub at your sides. One of them runs up your body to press against your neck. Your body straightens and you break the kiss with a pant.

“You like that?” He pulls back a little further so he can look from your eyes to your kiss-swollen lips. Swallowing thickly as you try to respond to his words, yet nothing seems to come out. “Hmm?” He squeezes your throat lightly and you whine. Slick pools into the gusset of your panties. You try and push your thighs together to ease the ache between your legs, only leaving you wanting and squirmy as your knees push against the sides of his hips.

“Mmh, yeah you do.” He squeezes your neck again softly and you continue to unsuccessfully try to clench your thighs together searching for friction. Noticing this, he lets his other hand fall to your thigh so that he can pull you closer to him. Not quite close enough to feel him where you need it.

“I do, I like it.” You nod your head as you talk quietly, your eyes glazing over with want.

“Yeah?” The hand on your thigh climbs up to rest on where your thigh meets your hip and he lets his thumb run along the crotch seam of your pants. “Pretty girl.” He presses his thumb in and watches your face, seeing the way your eyelashes flutter and how your lips part slightly as you gasp. You look down to where his thumb rubs at your cunt. The fabric separating him from actually touching you providing a much needed friction on your clit.

“Ethan…” your voice nothing but a whiny whisper.

“Hmm? What sweetheart?” The hand on your throat coming up to your jaw, his thumb swiping across your lower lip making you shiver. “You want something?” He keeps eye contact and keeps rubbing his thumb around your lips. Letting his finger dip into your mouth slightly, going in and out, back and forth, slowly, never letting it move in far enough. He rubs your saliva across your lips on every hot drag out of your mouth. Your lip starts to quiver and you move your head forward a little, trying to take his thumb deeper into your mouth.

“Mmm, yes.” He bites his lip and breathes out heavily. You wrap your tongue around his thumb and start licking tentative stripes up his finger, getting more confident as his jaw slacks.

“Keep going,” he whispers, “just like that.” You let your lips close around his finger so you can start sucking around his thumb. “Oh, good girl. Doing so good for me.” His head tilts back a little before he catches himself so he can keep watching the way your lips move when you suck him in. You pull your lips off him with a pop and a string of spit connects his thumb to your lips.

“Ethan, I want more.” You take your arms from his body and put your hands on the counter, leaning back.

“You want more, what?” He raises his brows at you.

“I want more of you, want more touching.” You lean in, biting your wet lips and smiling softly.

“No.” He lets his hands move to sit over yours, pressing them softly into the counter as he leans in to you even further than you did him. “I was telling you to ask for more.” His voice is firm but gentle, and any doubt he had in the beginning was gone. It made you wet. You couldn’t help but squirm a little at what was happening, or the implication of what it could mean for later.

“Oh okay…” you swallow, “Ethan, I want more, please?” Your voice comes out whiny and shaky.

“Of course, sweetheart.” He starts unbuttoning and unzipping your pants before helping you to stand. He stands back to watch you as you start pulling your jeans down. Ethan watches you bend forward, the way your hands slide down your legs. You're making sure to pull them off slowly and completely so you don’t look like an idiot struggling out of your pant legs. You push them to the side and look up at him as you stand. Finally really paying attention to him rather than what he’s doing. Seeing you look at him like that, he palms himself over his jeans. You stand all the way up and pull your shirt over your head. Tossing it aside before putting your hands behind your back. Biting your lip as you look from his face down to the hand that teases his cock through his pants.

“Turn around and bend over, baby.” He looks you up and down like you’re a toy and keeps touching himself.

“M’kay.” You turn around like he asks and bend yourself forward till you can feel the cold surface against your cheek.

“Good girl.” His hand roams up the back of one of your thighs all the way up to rub your lower back. You arch for him, picking your head up and putting your arm over each other in front of you. He breathes out heavily and steps forward pressing himself against your hip.

“Oh look at you. You wanna be touched don’t you, baby?” You nod your hand and bury your face in your arms. “Yeah you do.” Ethan leans in pressing his front to your back and hooks his finger under the band of your underwear. He pulls it back a little and lets it slap back against your skin softly with a smile. His hand moves down to cup your sex, the feeling making you whine. “You’re so wet. Did I do this, Hmm? You’re wet for me?” He whispers right against your neck and you nod enthusiastically.

“Yes, ‘m wet for you.” He starts carding his fingers through your slit over your underwear, soaking them even more.

“Mmm, which part? Was it when I squeezed that little throat, or maybe…” Ethan leans in further so you can feel his lips ghost over your neck, “or maybe it was when I said I fantasized about knocking you up?” You could feel your pussy gush into your panties as you moan at his words.

“Oh? Which one?” The smirk in his voice is audible.

“I… both.” Your breath is shaky and your face heats up at having to admit that.

“Both? Well I guess we’ll have to do both then. Won’t we, sweetheart?” Your lips push together hard and you press back against his hand, still sliding lazily against your slit. His hand moves up and he hooks his fingers under the band of your underwear again, but this time he starts pulling them down. Strings of slick connect you to your panties as he pulls them away.

“Look at you, so needy.” His fingers return to your slit and you arch back more. “Aww, you’re getting me all messy, baby. You know, I bet I could slip right into this needy little cunt without any preparation. You’d take it all wouldn’t you?” His fingers move to toy with your clit making you gasp.

“Mhm.” Your voice is muffled but he can still hear how whiny your tone is.

“But I’m not that mean, even though I know you’d like it. I’ll get you ready, baby, wanna hear that pretty voice while I fuck you with my fingers.” He moves his hand to line up one of his fingers and push it inside. “Oh god, so tight. Gonna stretch you out, baby.” He starts slowly dragging his finger in and out of your gummy walls. “You think you can take a little more?” Without even waiting to hear an answer he pushes another finger up into you.

“Etha-“ you whimper and bite your lip, moving backwards and forwards a little to meet his fingers when they push in. He flips his fingers over inside you and starts curling them against that spot inside you making you see stars.

“Pretty girl, you don’t know how many times I’ve thought about doing this. Bending you over the counter and filling you up while you whine and beg. Ask for it, baby. Ask me to fill you up.” He starts curling his fingers harder against your walls, pushing them against you the whole time he drags out. He stands up straight but keeps himself pressed against your hip.

“Please, Ethan. Fill me up, please.” Your voice is high and whiny. He throws his head back with a moan and starts rubbing himself against you.

“Oh, fuck. Yeah you sound so good like that. So so good.” Ethan’s voice is breathy and his other hand starts to toy with his belt, undoing it and pulling it through his belt loops to toss on the floor with a clatter. His fingers start to undo his jeans and he tries to pull them down quickly. “Shit.” He pulls his fingers out of you and you whine at the loss of stimulation. “Be patient, baby.” You look back at him as he pulls his pants and underwear down to mid-thigh. When you see his cock spring free you bite your lip and moan. Unable to look away from his leaking pink tip, your thighs clench together and your toes curl in your shoes. Ethan starts teasing the vein going up his length while he watches your face. Your mouth opens in a silent moan at the sight. “You like this, sweet girl? Seeing me touch myself while looking at you all bent over and desperate?”

“Yes, Ethan. Fuck, please, I need it.” You throw your head down onto your arms, unable to watch him any longer afraid you might cum just from seeing him.

“Of course.” He steps forward and starts rubbing his hard cock through your slit.

“Ethan, pl-“ you gasp and throw your head back when he suddenly pushes in about half way. He pulls back and pushes in slowly, going further with each stroke. Ethan’s hands grip the edge of the counter and his head falls forward. He stares intently where you two connect and lets out a quiet moan. The thought of his cock leaking pre-cum into your aching hole makes you clench around him.

“Shit. Oh fuck!” Ethan lets out a strained moan and his hand slides up your back and around your throat. The feeling of his hands on you makes you push back. He grins and squeezes the sides of your throat making you clench around him again. “Oh you do like that don’chu,” he leans forward so he’s pressed against your back and pushes all the way in, his tip touching your cervix, “gonna fill up this little hole while I squeeze your throat. You want that? Want me to cream your cunt while you get choked?” Your eyes roll back and you grind up against him at his words.

“Ethan, mmm please. Oh f…” your eyes start to water and your tongue goes limp in your mouth, “wanna be full.”

“Yeah oh, sweet girl.” He talks softly and starts fucking up into you again making sure to grind his tip right against your cervix. “I’m gonna fill you till it takes, baby.” You’re completely speechless, just moaning and whining completely at his mercy. He pulls you up against him and knocks your legs apart with his foot. His other hand coming up to slip a couple fingers passed your lips, which you immediately start sucking and licking on. “There you go, being such a good girl for me.” Ethan kisses the top of your head tenderly. You make a noise and he immediately takes his fingers out of your mouth to grip your face. “Hmm? What, sweetheart?”

“Wanna be a good girl. Jus’ for you.” The hand on your throat goes down so he can rub and toy with your clit. You moan and squirm against him at the stimulation. “You gonna cum, baby? Yeah, cum right on my cock, make a mess.” Your eyes roll back and fat tears roll down your cheeks to drop onto your chest.

“Ethan I-Ethan, mmm.” You start mumbling incoherently and he finally pushes you over. He slows his movements on you clit but keeps up his pace fucking you through your orgasm.

“Good girl, feel’ so good when you cum.” He pushes you back down on the table abruptly and puts his hands on your back keeping you there. “Take it.”

“Ethan, ‘m so sensitive, please.”

“I said take it.” You couldn’t help but just moan at the way he was talking to you. Ethan was always so sweet, you couldn’t have even imagined he could speak like that. “Oh you like that? You want me to get rough with you? Hmm?” He starts fucking into you harder, his tip bullying into your cervix. Your body just goes limp against the counter and he laughs softly. “Gonna cream this needy cunt. You want that? I know you do, baby, I can feel it.” One of his hands tangles up into your hair and pulls tentatively.

“Ethan.” You couldn’t say anything else, you couldn’t even think.

“Gonna knock you up, pretty girl. I’ll fuck you as much as it takes, till I get to see you all swollen with my child.” His voice starts getting shaky and high. He was watching the way your slick would string between you two everytime he pulled back. Suddenly his moans started to turn into whimpers and you could hear him suck air through his teeth. “Oh fuck…” Ethan throws his head back and pushes all the way into you, pressing his tip right against your cervix. Hot thick stripes of cum painted your walls. “There you go, good girl.” His head tilts back and he closes his eyes. He lets go of your hair and starts running his fingers along your back gently. All that could be heard was the heavy breaths that filled the air. He pulls out and you whine at the empty feeling. “You did so good.” He pulls you straight up against him and holds you. You can feel his cum start to drip and run down your thighs. “How do you feel, sweetheart?”

“Feel good.” Your voice was quiet and weak.

“Yeah? I'm glad, pretty girl. Let’s get you cleaned up.” He kisses your shoulder softly.

“Mmh, m’kay.” You close your eyes and lay your head against him.

“Let’s go.” He picks you up and starts carrying you to the bathroom to clean you off. “Think you’re gonna have to come around more often with a little one on the way.”

***

You were so glad you took this job.

#anasanthology #anyas world #anya’s world #resident evil #re8 fanfiction #re8 #re biohazard #re7 #ethan winters #ethan winters imagine #ethan winters x you #ethan winters x reader #fanfic #re7 biohazard #re7 fanfiction

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weneepie · 1 month

Note

Do you write for old charles xavier? If so could I get some cute fluff with the reader bothering him while he works cause she's bored and has nothing else to do and everyone else is busy pleads? I hope you have a good day!!

too busy w/ charles xavier rules | m.list

note. ofc I do, I love him and I just love the xmen in general so please never hesitate! i hope you'll like it, and feel free to request <3

The day was awfully long, and God knows how bored you were right now. You thought about joining Storm to do some gossip with her, or even go to see Jean so she would explain to you stuff you would never understand even if you tried. But no, everyone was busy at the moment. Even Scott didn’t have time for you! You couldn’t believe it. So, there was only one solution to end the hell you were going through. He was your only hope.

You didn’t even wait for an answer to your knock before you entered the Professor’s office. As always, he was in his wheelchair behind his desk, working on who knows what. He looked up at you, slowly raising his eyebrows. He didn’t expect you to come here, and the look on your face wasn’t helping. “What is it?” He asked you, and your only answer was to sigh.

“I’m so bored!” You exclaimed yourself, which made Charles smile softly. It wasn��t so surprising, you hated to stay alone and especially when you had nothing to do. “I can’t help you, I need to work on this,” he explained and another sigh, louder this time, left your lips. You walked closer to his desk, sitting on it without a hint of shame. “Fine, do what you need to do.”

And with this, you let him do his work. Or at least, you made him think so. You weren’t able to stay still, walking from one side of the room to another, heavy sighs leaving your lips and your hands touching absolutely everything like a child discovering a new room. Charles was trying to ignore you, but how could he when you were making your presence here so obvious? You weren’t helping at all. He should have known though, it wasn’t your type at all.

He kept on trying to ignore you, until you came closer to him ; starting to be a real annoyance. You kept on asking questions about what he was doing, or why, or how long it would take. You weren’t giving him a second to breathe or actually do what he had to do. A discreet sigh left his lips before he looked at you, catching you off guard.

“Are you going to do this for long?” He asked without a threat in his voice, but annoyance was tangible in his voice. You swallowed slowly, straighten up your back. You looked away from him, feeling a bit dumb because of your own behavior. You mumbled something under your breath before you turned around, ready to leave the office ; when you heard his voice.

“Don’t leave. You’re bored, I got it. Let’s do something, right?” He said, turning off his computer and offering you a smile of his. You looked back into his direction, and a smile slowly appeared on your own face. You nodded quickly and he soon joined you to get out of the room. He knew you had trouble with boredom so he couldn’t just let you alone like this, especially not with this sad look you had before you tried to leave.

Charles spent the rest of the afternoon with you, following you around and saying yes to almost everything you asked him to do. The man was devoted to you ; like he was to everyone, he would say, but it wasn’t so true. The Professor had a soft spot for you, and it was more than obvious to anyone else. He stayed with you until the sun started to fall down outside.

Both of you were sitting on the bench between the trees in the manor’s garden. You were looking at the sky when you started to smile softly. Charles, who was more looking at you than at the sky, caught it almost immediately. “What is it?” He asked you, and when he met your gaze, he felt his heart racing in his chest. You had such a cute and gentle smile.

“I’m happy, that’s it. Thank you for spending your day with me,” you told him, and Charles couldn’t restrain the smile that appeared on his lips. He was glad to know that he made your day better ; and even if he wouldn’t say it out loud, he was also happy that he spent this day with you and not working alone in his office.

You stood up from the bench, before you leaned over him to kiss his cheek gently. Your gaze met his eyes again and you waved at him. “Goodnight, professor.” And at those words, you left him alone, next to the bench. His eyes followed your figure as you walked away, this stupid smile on his face. “Goodnight, dear.” He said, even if he knew you wouldn’t hear him.

thank you for reading!!

#marvel #marvel x reader #marvel headcanons #x men #xmen x reader #xmen headcanon #charles xavier #charles x reader #charles xavier x reader #professor x

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simpxxstan · 1 year

Text

the night shift

pairing: idol!jeonghan x caregiver!f.reader

genre: fluff, strangers to lovers, a little bit of angst

summary: it’s such a surprise what just three months of your life can do to you. it can actually change your life.

word count: 10.3k

rating: 13+

warning: mention of death (not major character). a few swear words here and there. a lot of time skips, i hope it doesn't impede the reading flow!

a/n: i have officially been sucked into the world of svt and there’s no getting out of here! i honestly just got into soft jeonghan feels and wrote this. i’m writing after a very long time, and so much has happened since my last update on tumblr. i’m sorry if i have kept any of you waiting 😭. i will try to update regularly now!

i hope you enjoy reading it!

“Hello. I’m L/N Y/N.” You bowed deeply to the young man sitting in front of you in a wheelchair, a bored expression feeting in his eyes, his blonde hair falling raggedly over his face. A face you were not unfamiliar with.

The man twisted his lip in annoyance and looked at the other man in the room. “Why is she here?”

“Hyung, you had said you’d keep a nurse.”

“I don’t remember, Hoshi. Perhaps, I was under the effect of heavy medication. Because of these fucking meds-” he seemed mildly irritated as he swatted his hand about in the air. “None of these meds are heavy in any way. Don’t pretend you’ve forgotten!” The younger boy whined, and continued, “Jeonghan hyung, the company, the doctor, the members, your family. Everyone has said that this is the best for you. You don’t have a say in this,” Hoshi had stood up to hold Jeonghan’s hands down. “Hyung, please.”

The man in the wheelchair had no option but to become limp in Hoshi’s hold. Flecks of irritation still on his face, he kept glaring at you with the world’s most disinterested look. “One month.”

“Hoshi-ssi told me three months…?”

“No. One month. You work for me, I decide the rules.”

He swiftly turned his wheelchair around and went back into his bedroom.

“He’s moody these days, his mind is really fragile. I hope you understand.” Hoshi spoke to you gently. “Yes, I do. I’ve dealt with more stubborn patients, don’t worry.”

“I’ll leave you to settle down, then! Annyeong!” And the cheery young man left, after bowing his goodbyes.

You had a sense of foreboding creeping into your heart. There was perfect silence in the apartment almost as if you were alone in the entire space. But you knew you were not. How was it possible that Yoon Jeonghan could exist so soundlessly? What if he was actually not- oh god, what if he had passed out or something? You quickly go to his bedroom and knock on the door frantically. “Please, Jeonghan-ssi!” Slowly you heard one breath being released. The door slowly creaked open. The apartment became full of life again as you felt Yoon Jeonghan’s beautiful face eyeing you curiously, like his new found toy.

The first week was a chaotic one, but by the time the fortnight had passed, you knew Yoon Jeonghan was now in your grip. Idle, he had all the time in the world to prank you and tease you, even while being in his wheelchair. Sometimes he would feign memory loss and forget who you were, other times he would ask you to change his shirt after he had dropped some soup on it. If your days at the hospital, where you were interning, were tiring, your nights were even more challenging. He would fall asleep without taking the prescribed medicines, shuffle out of his wheelchair without calling for your help as he should have, and behave just like any naughty kid would. And you had no option but to scold him each time. But you could never be too angry at the man. He would smile the most angelic smile at you, making your veins burst and melt at the same time, your anger dissipating into annoyance into laughter. Eventually you would smile to yourself every time he was successful in his teasing, each feat giving him immense happiness. One successful prank, and Yoon Jeonghan was a happy man.

There were other ways to coax him into submission too. Making him his favourite ramyeon to warm his body whenever he could not sleep in the winter nights. Watching Jun’s new drama with him, and giggling over the kissing scenes, as Jeonghan would give you live commentary on how Jun would probably be behind the scenes. Combing his hair, which was growing longer by the day, into neat braids.

You had, eventually, and unthinkably, fallen into a routine.

“What is it exactly that you do in the daytime?” He had asked you once, while you were preparing breakfast for him before leaving for college. “I go to med school. Then I intern at the local hospital.”

“I know. But that can’t be it. Surely school and internships can’t leave someone as dog-tired as you come home, Nurse L/N.” He looked at you with suspicious eyes, a mischievous spark in his doe eyes. You knew he was going to tease you now.

You had, honestly, gotten used to this, and started recognizing the signs. Before you would cry out in anguish every time his teasing got the better of you. ‘Jeonghan-ssi. I forbid you from speaking ill about my favourite pen. It’s my lucky pen. I always do well in exams I write with this.’ ‘Oh, save heavens I make fun of your dearest pen.’ And he had laughed, all while knowing he had hidden the pen below his pillow. He would give it to you the next morning, a wave of relief flashing over your tense features, extremely nervous over the exam that day. ‘Don’t worry. You’ve studied so much. You’ll do well, irrespective of the pen.’ And then he had the audacity to wink. Fucking wink. After all the superstitious stress he had put you through the entire night.

“Have you ever met any person from the medicine industry?”

“Nope. No people. Some annoying aliens though, prescribing bullshit medicines to me which I don’t even need. And of course, I’ve met you.”

“You don’t even know how stressful med school is. And then, at the internship, they’ll ask us interns to do everything. Right from sanitising the scalpels, to cleaning the floor if someone spills coffee, and the very next moment, they’ll ask me to perform a minor treatment, as if I wasn’t busy polishing the floor right now.” You huffed and puffed as you served Jeonghan the sunny-side-up. He had already put butter on his bread and began eating it.

“Okay, I’ll be leaving now. Your coffee is in this pot. I’ve baked some cookies last night, while you were on that live call with fans-”

“Ooh that’s why the entire house was smelling like dogshit.”

“SHUT UP! They taste very good.”

“Dogshit? You’ve tried? A true connoisseur-”

“Yoon Jeonghan. I’ll put you in timeout.”

“No!” He instantly put on his angelic smile, pouting, his features full of aegyo, and your momentary anger melts. Oh you don’t know what to do with this one.

20 days later, you could feel the wall between you two breaking down slowly. He had become more accepting to having you bossing around the house, keeping it clean and keeping him safe. Although you worked with him only for the night shift, the two of you would often have conversations, aside from the bickering, the nonsense he kept spewing and the teasing, that would actually be meaningful.

“You’re wearing your shirt the other way round, Nurse L/N,” he said as soon as you unlocked the door and stepped into the house after finishing your job.

“Oh!” You dropped your bags immediately and made your way to the washroom attached to your bedroom to change. “That’s why everyone on the subway kept staring at me.” When you returned to the hall, Yoon Jeonghan was sitting in the same way, flicking through his phone.

“You didn’t wear the shirt wrong in the morning?” He cocks an eyebrow, and you blush all over. He had caught you. Clearing your throat, “Umm, well…” He tilts his head, letting the evening sun fall on his hair and making it shimmer. “I had a date today.”

Immediately your veins start burning as he makes his way towards you, a small smile on his lips. “Nurse L/N! How did it go?” he asks you, then doesn’t wait for an answer. “Ahh well. That’s a wrong question. If you’re wearing your shirt the other way round, it must’ve gone well.” Peeking at you, to see your blush spreading all the way to your neck now. “Who is the unlucky person then?”

Argh. Not even 10 minutes into the house and he had started teasing you.

“He’s my friend from med school. We intern at the same hospital.”

“Show me a photograph.”

“Why?”

“I want to see!”

“Why? This is personal space.” You fold your arms, going along with his teasing.

“I want to see if he’s more handsome than me.” Jeonghan declares solemnly, as if that’s the most reasonable response. And when you burst out laughing, he laughs with you too, but continues whining to see the photo. And you have no option but to yield.

When Hoshi-ssi had approached you through his manager to take care of Jeonghan for the next three months till he recovered from the accident that had broken his left leg, you had been reluctant before saying yes. Firstly, you hadn’t believed that such a famous celebrity would be requesting for you, when they had all kinds of services at their disposal anyway. Then you learnt that you had taken care of Hoshi’s aunt when she was very ill and bed-ridden, and the good feedback had flown in from his family. Hoshi’s aunt had been your second patient, your first being your own mother, who had suffered from schizophrenia, before you had lost her two years ago. Although your eyes were still wet from those memories, you had decided to take nursing up as a side profession, to pay for the bills of med school, and put your nursing skills to use as well. Seven clients later, you had landed this job- taking care of the superstar idol, Yoon Jeonghan.

“It’s a night shift. So you’ll have to interact very little with the patient. Through the day, he can take care of himself. We just expect you to keep him company as his… mental state… is really weak right now, perhaps more than his physical state,” the manager had said.

You weren’t a Carat. You didn’t even follow idol groups. You didn’t want to seem like a golddigger, and you knew well that these celebrities could throw tantrums, or even worse, ill-treat you.

But when Hoshi-ssi personally called you, you simply could not refuse. There was something so soft in his voice, laced with worry whenever he spoke about his hyung, you simply knew you had to help this man out.

And you had taken up the job.

The apartment was big enough for you to stay comfortably. Jeonghan was non-interfering in your personal matters, mostly. From time to time, he would comment on your hairstyle, worry about the dark circles under your eyes, suggest a new skincare product, and enquire about your family in all politeness. You had thought the initial courtesy he showed would die down, and then he would minimise his interactions with you.

However, to your great (mis?)fortune, he stayed up every day, even after 25 days had passed, waiting for you to come back home. He would sit at the dinner table, as you made dinner in the kitchen. He would text you, while you were at work, sometimes meaningful questions, other times random thoughts, and even more rarely (thankfully), some photographs. Of his pet rock, of a new parcel delivered home, of takeout he had ordered for lunch instead of eating what you had cooked for him that morning, of himself.

Oh, of himself.

Those selcas were the rarest, and yet you kept wishing for him to send you one whenever your phone lit up with a notification. While you would sit in the break room, eating lunch between classes, you’d wait for it. When hanging out with friends after the internship, you’d wait for it. When your date from two weeks ago, Minho, took you out to coffee, you found yourself waiting for it again.

And when it did, you’d save it instantly. Take a screenshot if it was a one-time view. Stare at it endlessly, sometimes laughing at the filters he would set up, sometimes smiling wistfully into his beautiful brown irises, looking at the camera with odd affection. You knew he generally sent those photos to you to get a reaction before posting them on Weverse for his fans. But somewhere in your heart, you had begun to wish, he would click those photos for you. Not for his fans, not out of boredom, not just to check if his face was still handsome. Just for you.

But that was the least of your problems.

Your job had turned a month old, and you paced about in your bedroom, having packed your bags already, ready to be kicked out. Although Yoon Jeonghan had been fairly tolerable these last few days, one could never understand what went about in his mind.

You were mentally listing off all the things you’d have to worry about now. You’d have to go back to your shitty paid guest room, and pay rent. You’d have to go without the extra cash from this job, barely making enough to eat four meals a day. Only somewhere in the corner of your mind, another little thought came up- you’d have to live without the living breathing caramel sunshine that was Yoon Jeonghan. You had truly gotten used to living with him- as a roommate, of course. Even with his irks and mischief, his moments of vulnerability and his fake aegyo. You had learnt to not dislike him, and now he was getting too close to your heart.

A sharp knock on your bedroom door broke you out of your thoughts. “Nurse L/N? You didn’t come to wake me up?” He says it so normally, as if you’re not combusting with nerves right now. “It’s not 8 am yet, you don’t like it if I wake you up before that.”

He yawns. Lazy, warm, still in his night sleepsuit. His hair messy, his skin looking soft and his lips looking-

“What’s all these bags for?”

“Huh?”

“You’re leaving me?” He starts to pout, making your insides like molten lava.

“I- uh- one month-” you manage to stutter out, wondering if he had truly forgotten or if this was one of his pranks. “One month’s done? Yay! I am two months away from freedom. Nurse L/N, can you please order waffles for me today, I’ve been craving something sweet!” He whirls around his wheelchair after flashing his brightest, cutest smile at you. Left with your mouth open, you already start thinking whether all the ingredients for waffles could be found at home or not.

While you would be away during the day, his members or family would come visit him, to help him dress or bathe. Every other day, you’d see him sitting with a member of his group, hearing their laughter even before seeing them when you entered the house. Sometimes more than one would turn up, and it would be a party.

They always treated you with great respect. Joshua would profusely thank you, the polite charismatic gentleman he was, for taking care of Jeonghan. Seungcheol would ask you regularly whether you were well, whether his friend was irritating you, and whether the terms of work were suitable for you. The days when his members would arrive, usually Jeonghan would switch on live, for his fans. Mostly the lives would get over as soon as you would arrive, sometimes they would continue after you arrived as well, and you’d try your best to soundlessly work through the house so as to not disturb anyone. Contractually bound to secrecy and personally wishing for no involvement with his fans, this was an arrangement suiting you perfectly.

Except one day, when he was doing the live all on his own. You dropped a small glass, and hurt your finger in the broken glass. Almost on instinct, Jeonghan had shouted out, “Nurse L/N, are you okay? Did you break something?” Hearing voice full of concern, real genuine concern, you couldn't help but reply back. “Yeah I’m okay! Don’t worry, it’s just a glass.” “Hmm, okay.”

Cleaning up your wound, you had tiptoed towards Jeonghan’s room, where he was arranging legos while streaming live. Your heart was pounding in your chest, waiting for the call from his company, asking you to resign. Knocking softly on the door, you entered, trying to signal him to not mention you aloud and asking him if the company had reached out to him to announce your dreadful fate.

“Ou?”

Facepalming yourself as Jeonghan asked you in the loudest whisper possible, you gave up. Even if your earlier reply was probably not audible due to the distance, it was so clear now when Jeonghan visibly looked up at you, and asked you, in the most innocent way. “Ou? What are you saying?” You were about to leave the room, when suddenly he introduced you, out LOUD, in front of his fans. “Caratdeul! This is Nurse L/N, she’s taking good care of me! Don’t worry for me. Nurse L/N, please say hello!” By now, you were palpitating. Your phone would ring any moment. Any- “Hello, I am Nurse L/N. I’ll take your leave now, Jeonghan-ssi,” you said, without showing your face on the camera.

But Yoon Jeonghan had no intention to let you escape. “Nurse L/N,” he cried out, with a pout on his face, his eyes shining behind his glasses, “how does my lego model look?” It was a model of some sports car. “Hmm, looks good!” “Everyone!” A smug look appeared on Jeonghan’s face, “This is the first time Nurse L/N has said my work looks good! This is all thanks to our Carats.” Taking his self-absorbed, smiling-widely-till-his-eyes-disappeared moment as an excuse, you left the room. Because another minute, and you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from crossing a line.

You were well into the second month, when the panic attacks started.

They were most likely triggered by the doctor’s report that morning. Jeonghan-ssi, I’m afraid you’ll need more time to recover. Although your femur’s not broken, it’s extremely weak, and your legs cannot support your weight now. Even after recovery, I would advise you to not dance heavily for at least another month.

You had been awoken by a sharp scream in the middle of the night, no scratch that, early in the morning, as you could see the first rays of dawn streaming in through the window. Immediately you rushed to Jeonghan’s room, who slept with his door unlocked for such emergency situations. “Are you okay?”

And instead of the calm fairy you expected, you were met by a ghost.

Yoon Jeonghan was sitting upright in his bed, sweat pouring down from his forehead and arms, his long blonde hair dishevelled, and his chest heaving for air. The worst was over, you reckoned, as you gently stepped closer to him.

For the first time in two months, you saw fear in Yoon Jeonghan’s eyes. As soon as you came near the bed, he reached out to grip your hands. You whispered to him, endlessly rubbing his arms and his back, it’ll be alright, you’re okay, don’t worry, i’m here, you’ll be okay, you’re safe with me, until you could feel his heart rate slow down to a normal pace.

He then looked at you, in such an inexplicably fond way, like-

Like you were his light.

Like you were the stars in his dark night.

Like you were his world.

And you succumbed to the urge of hugging him. You pressed him gently to your body, trying to relay your warmth to his colder body, initially hesitant as to how he would receive your action.

To your surprise, he pulled you in closer. You realised it was his anxiety speaking, his fingers still trembling from the shock. And not his need to be close to you, as your dumb brain hoped somehow.

But then, he kept the hope alive.

“Stay with me tonight, Y/N.”

The entire day, you were extremely distracted, both in school and at work. Fumbling with things, clumsily dropping things, and forgetting important tasks. Yoon Jeonghan had called you by your first name for the first time. This single thought kept spiralling in your head, finding root in some delusion or the other. The entire night, you had spent with him. Hugging him first, then he had laid down and put his head on your lap. And you had stroked his hair, until he was asleep. You had sent a text to Seungcheol, asking him to come and stay with Jeonghan, as you didn’t want to leave him alone like this but you couldn’t miss classes today. He had immediately agreed, and turned up sharp at 7 am. Instead of waking up Jeonghan, you had left your blanket next to him to fool him of your presence, and left the house, leaving the man in his best friend’s care.

Last night had been a monstrous event for the tiny feeling you felt in your heart every time you thought of Jeonghan, which was actually nearly every second. Long forgotten was Minho and his stupid face and stupid voice and stupid pick-up lines. The only voice which sent warm electric shocks through your entire body was the one that belonged to Yoon Jeonghan. You kept texting Seungcheol, asking him for updates, whether Jeonghan had eaten, whether he had bathed, whether he had taken his afternoon nap, whether he was talking normally, whether his blood pressure was normal, so on and on. Even when his replies satisfied you, you were always nervous about what was happening back home.

Home.

Was the house you spent your nights in now home? Was the subway station you had now gotten used to getting off at home? Was the bedroom you slept in now home?

Or was he home?

When you did return to your home, you found the man who had occupied all your thoughts through the day sitting next to Seungcheol, giggling about something on his phone. “Oh you’re here!” Seungcheol says, popping up when he spots you enter. “Hi. I came home early.”

Jeonghan’s smile disappears, and you tense up already. You have no idea what’s coming.

“I’ll be leaving then. He’s been asking for you all day anyway,” Seungcheol smirks against Jeonghan’s little rebellious whines, and your stomach churns in worry. He bows to you, and leaves. Leaving you with the blonde little elephant in the room.

“So. How are you feeling, Jeonghan-ssi?” You ask after a while, breaking the ice finally. He shifts towards one side of the sofa, and you instinctively step forward, wondering if he wanted to get up into his wheelchair now, but he only pats the seat next to him, asking you to sit down.

“I’m sorry for last night, Nurse L/N.” There, back to just a fucking nurse. It was a slip of tongue. “You don’t have to be. This is what I’m here for. This is what you’re paying me for,” you chuckle, but he doesn’t even smile. “But I invaded your personal space-” you lean forward, hold his hand, and say, “Hey. Don’t worry. I hugged you out of my own accord.” “Because you wanted to?” he whispers, and you whisper back, your heart beating in your throat, your voice hoarse with emotion, “Yes, because I wanted to.”

“Can you do it again then?”

Quirking your eyebrows, you realised he’s being dead serious. There’s no way he could lie and tease you with such vulnerability in his eyes. And so you hug him. It’s not as close as last night, but the embrace still makes your spine tingle with happiness. You hope against hope he cannot hear your heartbeat.

When you try to pull away, he lets you, but keeps holding on to your hand.

“I’m- umm, what they call, clingy. I appreciate physical comfort. I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable. You can move away when you like.”

“No. I don’t feel uncomfortable at all. If you like, we could hug more often. Or you could hold my hand. Or put your head on my shoulder or…” you didn’t want to think of his head on your lap again. You would not be able to control the urge to kiss his forehead and eyes and tiny button nose and of course, the pretty lips.

“But you have a boyfriend…”

“Huh?” You’re taken aback now. What was this? “I have a boyfriend I don’t even know about?”

“That boy, Minho? You went out on dates with him?” He looks confused. You bite your lip, “Oh. No, I lost interest. We didn’t date, at least seriously.”

“Oh," you saw the clouds in his face clearing.

So he was worried about your boyfriend being uncomfortable with a grown man hugging you for emotional support? Jeez. What did he think your taste in men was?

"Can I make another request?" God, what's this tone? You had never heard it before but you could sure get used to it. Pouty-faced, soft voiced Jeonghan was definitely your favourite. As if you could ever say no to him.

"Hmm, go on?"

"Can you sleep in my room today?"

You wish you could say no to him.

“In your bed?”

“No, I think your bed can be shifted to my room? It’ll fit also. It’s a single, thin bed.”

You know it will fit. You also know your room is big enough to fit another queen-sized bed. But when you’re that close, how will you be able to tolerate the distance?

“Hmm. I think it could fit. But I think it’s too heavy for me to carry today… maybe I can ask some help from neighbours or friends tomorrow and set it up in your room? Meanwhile today… I could bring a mattress and sleep on the floor.”

“No!” He cried out. “I mean- you can always sleep next to me.” He smiles, a little angelic, a lot devilish. You know he’s teasing now.

You take away your hand from his, and you can see him begin to whine at the loss of warmth. “On the floor then.”

But yet again, as dawn breaks, he screams awake again, and you notice tears rolling down his cheeks also. He hides his face from you when you sit next to him to calm him down, embarrassed of his tears. You wipe them away with your hands (and not with kisses).

And that’s how he falls asleep again. He lies down fairly far away from you, at least an arm’s distance. But your hand is still in his, and you can’t sleep, overly conscious about drifting towards him in your sleep. You’re content just taking in his beautiful face through the sunrise, drinking up his features like you’re parched, wishing you could put your fingers at each spot on his face, feeling the bone and the muscle and the skin, feeling his breath.

“If you don’t mind me asking… what triggered your nightmare?” You ask him the next morning. Good heavens, it’s a free Sunday after ages, and you had been looking forward to this for weeks now. You had so many plans- ordering food for brunch, catching up on your favourite k-drama, buying a new pair of shoes. But you realised- all of these plans involved Jeonghan. You couldn’t imagine doing any of this without him.

You’re sitting with Jeonghan in the small balcony of his apartment, which overlooks the city almost entirely. It’s a serene view, the sunshine not too harsh, and Yoon Jeonghan hasn’t let go of your hand ever since last night. You hadn’t pushed him too far for answers yesterday, thinking it was a one-time thing. But today, you were getting more curious and worried.

“Ummm… I’m not too sure myself? I just have a lot of thoughts these days.” You stroke the thumb of his hand which lies in your palm now. “What thoughts? Do you miss your members? Your fans?” “Yeah, I do. But it’s not like that just…” You know he’s hesitating, but he’s seconds away from crying. “Jeonghan-ssi. Go on. I’m here.”

After a VERY long pause, he says softly.

“You know how the doctor said I’ll need at least another month, even after this hiatus of three months, before I can go back to my normal self, being an idol.” You hum in between his pauses. “I’m scared, Nurse L/N. I’m scared… they’ll forget me. And even if they don’t, I’ll be disappointing them. I won’t be able to meet my fans’ expectations anymore. They won’t get what they deserve from me.”

“No one deserves anything from you. You don’t owe them anything.”

“You don’t understand,” you can sense his voice getting hoarse and louder. “Fans aren’t easy to explain to- and to be honest, which fan wouldn’t be upset seeing their favourite idol isn’t going to dance well any more? Hell, I’m probably no one’s favourite idol anymore.” He looks away from you, his hand already retracted from yours.

“Jeonghan-ssi. Firstly, if you really care about your fans so much, they most likely care about you a lot too. Of course, they’ll understand. And secondly, have you checked twitter? Or instagram? They keep talking about your health, and look forward to your live videos-”

He smiles, “Yeah, they’re asking about you too.” You ignore the statement and continue, “I understand where your vulnerability is coming from- but you can only improve your mindset by not thinking of the worst case possible.”

He doesn’t say anything. His face is still sullen, dark clouds storming in his eyes.

“Jeonghan-ssi, you’re not that easy to forget, and less easier to replace. I don’t think your fans will forget you so soon.”

He looks at you, his lips pursed in a hopeful trance. You know he’s still extremely scared of the future, but then, who wasn’t? It was only natural to be afraid of uncertainty. You gently pat his head, and ask, “Is one of your band members going to come today? For bathing and dressing you…?”

Frankly, you didn’t understand why they couldn’t keep a full-time caregiver who would be professionally trained to do all the work required. But you had seen Jeonghan’s attitude the first time you suggested this. No. I’m not an object for pity, and caregivers will pity me. Plus I don’t trust them. I trust you, I trust my members. I’m only safe in your hands. You had wanted to ask why he trusted you- was it because he knew you really needed the money and a good place to stay? But you had simply nodded and left the issue.

“No. I didn’t ask any of them to come today. They have a shooting schedule today.” His voice sounded even more feeble. He probably missed being on set with them, laughing as a whole, playing games, singing and enjoying themselves. From the videos of their show, Going Seventeen, which Jeonghan had himself shown to you, you had noticed how solid their bond was, and how comfortable they were around each other, easier than friends, stronger than family members.

“Oh.” This meant you would have to bathe him. Shit.

“I’m throwing my shirt!” “Yeah.” You waited outside the door of the washroom as Jeonghan stripped inside, and threw his shirt through the slightly open door. You had become extremely flustered at the thought of dressing and undressing him, but he had provided a simple solution.

Although you doubted how simple it was, when you could hear him struggling to get his pants off. “Nurse L/N. I think I’ll just bathe with my pants on!” “No! Don’t be a dirty boy. Do you want me to help?” You asked, breathless. “No,” you could hear his sigh, “I’m fine. I’ve got it off. Here, catch!”

Then there was the sound of the shower opening, the slight squeak of a tap, and a tune being emitted by the man showering there. You left quietly.

It was around 3 in the afternoon when you both had finished bathing, lunch, folding up laundry (you) and singing random songs (him), watching one episode of a k-drama (him) and wondering why hearts ached without any attack (you). “I’m going to take you out. Enough of staying indoors. It’s eating into your brain.” You announce.

He almost jumps with you, but then winces. “But where? I don’t want to make a public appearance to collect sympathy and pity.” “You’ll see. You said you trust me, right?” He smiles, “Ayy. Human trust doesn’t go that far.” But you can see the excitement build in his eyes. “It’s a surprise.” “Surprises are not nice.” You tie up his eyes with a blindfold, leaving him no option but to huff and puff and whine and sulk.

But this surprise is nice. Jeonghan’s face lights up like a million watt bulb when you take off his blindfold and reveal him sitting in his dance practice room, all his members standing around him. He squeals in joy, and they all start talking instantly, making it too loud a chaos for you to decipher. Hell, you haven’t even been able to tell their voices apart yet.

The man you know as Channie, comes to you and bows. “I’m so thankful to you for bringing Hyung here. Thank you for taking care of him!” Another man, Seokmin, joins him, and they both smile at you widely. You blush, suddenly caught off guard by the attention, and excuse yourself from the room, leaving the boys to their antics. You text Jeonghan that you’re going to meet up with your childhood best friend, and you’ll be back to pick him up whenever he calls.

But he never calls you back. The members carry him around- they go to some restaurant, eat barbecue and drink a hell lot of beer, and then they drop him home. You had returned a couple of hours back, and when you see three strong able-handed men entering the house with Jeonghan, you take the chance.

“Jeonghan-ssi. Do you still want me to bring my bed to your room?” Although the other three men stare at Jeonghan quizzically, he solemnly nods. Seungkwan asks you, “Are you sure that’s okay with you? I t’s a really weird request!” Mingyu adds, “Yeah, Hyung, if you need her anytime, you can just call out for her, she’s anyway in the same house.” But Jeonghan won’t have it. “Yah, please. Nurse L/N, please.” You sigh and say, “He’s not feeling strong enough to sleep alone. It’s okay, I’ve done this before. I understand the need for physical comfort.” “Are you sure?” Seungcheol asks you, and you nod your consent. Then he says, “We’ll help you bring the bed then!”

That night, Jeonghan slept on his own bed, and you on your own, but he said he felt more relief knowing you were around him. I’m worried for you too, you know. Worried? What on earth for? Nothing, just. I’m feeling over-protective for everyone who matters to me right now. It was safe to say you slept in a constant dream-like state. Jeonghan did not wake up that night, and even if he did, it didn’t wake you up. You woke up only to your alarm next morning, breaking your haze of dusty, autumn dreams of blonde ponytails, flowers in a garden, and a pretty face belonging to the man lying next to you.

Third month in, and you were feeling a little under the weather. Perhaps it was the flu passing around in your college for a while now, but you had been strictly banned from going to the hospital (an order you had cried and begged your supervisor to take back, fearing this was the premature end to your internship, but he had calmly asked you to come back when you were well). Jeonghan, meanwhile, was now out of his wheelchair, and simply walking about using a pair of crutches. He was in a better mental state now, as the nightmares became fewer and less intense, and his general moodiness also dissipated.

But of late, he was being too affectionate towards you. Perhaps it was the reason behind you falling in. His sickly sweet smile whenever you complimented him for walking well, his blush of shy satisfaction when he completed any small task you gave him. One day you stepped into the house and almost screamed before the man sitting on the sofa turned around and showed you that it was none but Jeonghan, with his hair dyed black now.

And dear heavens. That black mop of hair would kill you.

For, if blonde Jeonghan was an angel, an embodiment of sunshine, a picture of innocence, black-haired Jeonghan was all of that but a slight rough edge to him, making his features even sharper and his eyes even deeper. It was all you needed to stab a dagger in your heart every day. Now that you’re stuck at home on a leave for 10 days, you have nothing to do except look at this man, laugh at his antics and calm down the growing anxiety in your heart as to what you’d do after these three months got over and your contract would expire. And even though you never voiced your worries out loud, Jeonghan somehow caught them.

“How many months are left till you graduate?” “About five months?” “Hmm. You can actually stay in my apartment throughout and not go back to the shitty place you showed me pictures of.” You gawk, “You’re crazy, how could I ever do that!” “No I’m serious, Nurse L/N.” You stick your tongue out, not interested in his pity offers. “You know what your problem is, Nurse L/N?” Your face is still turned away from him. “You’re just so stuffed with pride. That’s why you’re not taking the medicines I’m giving you at correct times.”

Oh, how the tables have turned.

“I’m fine.” You stress on every syllable, but Yoon Jeonghan can’t seem to take the hint and buzz off.

And that’s your biggest issue. He doesn’t even tease you as much as he is genuinely caring for you now. As if you’re really his friend. You wonder what has brought about this kind of absurd change in him. It’s not like anything had changed in how he saw you. Nurse L/N.

You were wrong about his teasing nature mellowing down. The next morning, when your supervisor had called, you had been in the washroom, and instead of just letting the call go until you returned, he had picked up the call and introduced himself as your Oppa.

Indigestion just had to hit you that very day.

You had no option but to let your blood boil in embarrassment as you overheard the entire conversation, helpless and frustrated.

“Yes, umm… she’s really stupid. She keeps forgetting stuff, you must know hahaha. No wonder she’s totally forgotten about mentioning me. I’m her local guardian haha.”

You hoped he would clarify something about the Oppa tag. Mention that he wasn’t your boyfriend. Mention that he was your brother or something. Or even an older friend, but in vain. Jeonghan was hell-bent on spreading rumours in the hospital about your love life, one would think.

“Yes! I know. She’s recovering now, I’ve been taking good care of her.”

“Oh no, she doesn’t have any family per se. She just has me.”

“Aaah no no, it’s no like that…” you could hear his voice ambiguously trail off, leaving several loose ends. This must’ve been a question about that-

“Oh sure! Thank you. I’ll let her know asap. Yes, yes tomorrow. Thank you.”

After three minutes when you emerged from the washroom, pissed and stressed, Yoon Jeonghan was smiling to himself while watching a video on Youtube.

“What was that call for?”

“Which call?”

You stare. He budges. “Oh, your supervisor had called. He was asking if you can join back tomorrow. I said yes.”

“Why did you pick up?”

“Why not! Would you rather lose the one chance your supervisor gave you to come back?” He smirks, knowing he had hit your weak spot. “But even then. You’re not my Oppa.” “Huh? I’m four years older than you!”

“Jeonghan-ssi. Just because you’re older than me doesn’t mean you can introduce yourself as my Oppa. Are you dumb or do you not understand the connotations of such an introduction?”

There was a pause.

“What would you suggest I’d introduce myself as? I didn’t want to say my name-”

“Her friend would just do. Or her neighbour. Or her classmate from college.”

“Those wouldn’t have had similar connotations? Any boy answering any girl’s call would have similar connotations, Y/N-aah.”

Another pause. Maybe he hadn’t realised he had called you by your first name.

“Then you should have just introduced yourself as the patient I’m taking care of in the night shift. Everyone knows about that, Jeonghan-ssi. Honestly, anything but Oppa. You’re not my Oppa.”

Before he could reply, you take your phone from the table and lock yourself into your room for the rest of the morning, too overwhelmed to say anything else or even look into the eyes of that dangerous man.

There had been very little conversation between the two of you through that day and the next, before you left for work again. He had tried a lot to initiate conversation with you, weird questions interrupting the silence now and then. But you were honestly too stressed to take any of his excuses and forgive him.

How dare he call himself your Oppa, when in three weeks he was going to simply forget you totally? How dare he even call you by your first name and break the professional formalities that were standard? You had thought the first time, that night, had been a slip of tongue in feverish delusion. This was no delusion. In bright daylight, he had crossed the line and called you by your name.

Although it shouldn’t matter much, you rationaled. Oppa could mean a dozen different things. No one would assume it meant boyfriend.

But oh, you were so so wrong. You knew it as soon as you stepped into the hospital after an extremely tiring day at university, and saw people staring at you. You reached your supervisor’s cabin to mark your attendance, and he too gave you the weirdest looks. The peak of the entire farce was when Hyerin, your closest friend at the internship, whispered to you after hugging you warmly to welcome you back, “YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND?!” Aargh.

“He’s not a boyfriend. He’s just the patient I’m taking care of. He randomly messed with me and introduced himself as my Oppa.”

“BUT I HAD NO IDEA HE’S LIKE A YOUNG GUY? I thought he’s a sixty-something fellow, no offence to old men who call themselves Oppa-”

“Yeah he’s a young guy. I told you he had broken his leg?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah. Breaking legs doesn't require the person to be old. It was an accident while he was crossing the street.”

“Still! This changes thing, hmmmm” she smirks, and you know where it’s headed. “Being in close quarters with a man only slightly older than you… are you sure he’s not dashingly sexy? Not a sugar daddy type? I could come and help you in your nursing job then.”

“No, and no. He is pretty good-looking, but I don’t care. Now move and let me start my work before boss comes and sends me on a leave again.” Hyerin wasn’t that close to you to know about the deepest secret of your heart. No one except your one childhood bestie knew about it. And you both had sworn on your childhood rings to never divulge secrets.

To make matters worse, you played a voice note sent by Jeonghan loudly, as soon as you got out of the operation theatre. Right in the corridor.

In your defence, he had sent three messages just before and after that, definitely impatient that you hadn’t heard his voice note, saying URGENT!, and you had fallen for the bait. Instantly playing it, without realising your volume was full, you cringed and almost threw your phone away instantly.

Napipopeta piripu pipiretta. Napi-

“You’re watching Instagram reels at work?!” Somehow your supervisor had also come out into the corridor and had heard the voice note. “You know social media is banned when you’re on duty!”

“Sir, I was just listening-”

“No arguments! So irresponsible. You’ll be staying back till 10 pm today, Y/N!”

“Okay Nurse L/N. Enough of the silent treatment. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be something I’m not… I just didn’t think of the consequences as much. Sorry, please?” He gave you the softest puppy eyes ever given by humankind, as you ate the ramen you had made for dinner.

You hadn’t uttered a single word since returning, just too upset and tired. But now you had to say it. “Was that voice note a joke?”

His eyes widened, “I- I just sent it… thinking your mood would become better hearing it… my fans really like that song…”

You bite your lower lip.

“My boss heard me playing it. That’s why I came home late.”

He stays silent for a minute. “I’m sorry if it got you into trouble. I just thought…”

And out of spite, just out of spite, and pent-up emotions spilling over, you say the worst thing ever.

“Your voice can never make my mood better, Jeonghan-ssi.”

Something had snapped between the two of you since that day.

You had tried to build up a wall between you two, trying to keep distance that you felt was necessary to get your heart used to what was just coming within two weeks. He tried to break that wall, going out of the way to be with you, even helping you study for an exam coming up. He was needing lesser and lesser care by the day, as he regained strength in his legs, and was quite determined to live by his old habits. He would leave the house without waiting for your support, he would cook sometimes, he would also do the laundry.

He did everything to make you feel lesser and lesser wanted in the house.

And you really took the cue. You started minimising your interactions. Even sleeping in the same room became too difficult for you, and you spent many hours on the couch before going to your bed, waiting for him to fall asleep. You would limit conversation to the necessities, taking all possible steps to reduce his dependency on you.

“Why are you doing this?” He asks you, one night, after you both had lied down in your beds but it was obvious that sleep eluded you.

“What?” You whisper back, hesitant. “This. Becoming far away from me.”

There are massive pauses between your replies, and you can hear him holding in his breath through the entire pause.

“You anyway don’t need me much. It’s only best if I move away from you.”

“Physically perhaps- but I thought we could be…”

“Hmm?”

“Friends. Are we not friends?”

Friends. You had stopped wanting to be friends for a very long time now.

“It’s not possible. You and I belong to different worlds, as cliche as it sounds. We can’t be friends.”

“Why not?”

“Have you seen how your fans have taken to stalking me on my social media? I’ve had to delete my accounts everywhere. If they find out who I am, they’re not just going to kill me, but the contract and all the payment I got from this job will be forfeited.”

“Kill you? Isn’t that too extreme?” You can hear him shuffle closer to your end in his bed, his voice closer to you now.

“They’re going to brand me as a golddigger. And even if they don’t kill me, I’ll definitely kill myself then.”

“There, again you and your pride.”

“You’re laughing at my self-respect?”

“No, I respect it. Not many can be so stoic.”

“Goodnight, Yoon Jeonghan.”

“Nurse L/N.”

You don’t want to reply. You pretend you’re asleep.

“Y/N-aah.”

You know he’s heard the change in your breath and he continues. “There are really just six days left?”

“We can reduce it if you like.”

“Can you not be so snappy? It’s really not funny anymore.” He sounds agitated, his voice on the verge of breaking.

“Are you really saying this to me? Why do I have the responsibility to make it seem funny? You have a problem with me having real emotions too?”

“I never said I have a problem with anything. But this attitude of yours is, frankly, uncalled for, in my opinion. Or you’re not telling me something I should know. And this is bothering me.”

Another pause before you reply.

“I’m going to leave in six days, Yoon Jeonghan. You better stop being bothered by me.”

You don’t know what’s come over you. Suddenly you can’t breathe in the house anymore. You don’t even want to call it home these days.

Ever since that conversation, Jeonghan had stopped putting in as much effort. You had far overstayed your welcome, and he really needed you to be gone now. Maybe get a girlfriend to visit him. Must’ve been sad without sex for three months for him. Your heart ached every morning when you saw him as soon as your eyes fluttered open- an angelic face, his mouth slightly parted open as he slept in his dream world. You wanted to kiss him (honestly every minute nowadays you did, even if you burnt yourself up, that desire did not disappear.)

It was a crush, you convinced yourself. Finals were coming up, you’d get busy, you’d forget about him. Easy peasy. And yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to delete the little gallery of pictures you had formed in your phone- including photos he had sent you, photos of him that you had taken, and the three photos of you two together.

The first had been clicked on the night when he had let go of his wheelchair and first taken up the crutch. Many of his bandmates were there, and they had all cheered loudly. Because you had been standing right next to him, holding his arm to stabilise him, Wonwoo had clicked a photo of you too right at the moment when he was looking into your eyes with the joy of letting go of the wheelchair, and you were looking right back at him. It was a coincidental photo, and a photo meant to be only of Jeonghan, but you kept smiling when you looked at it. It almost gave the illusion that it was … for lack of better words, a photograph of affection.

The second was a selca. Correction, it was Jeonghan’s selca, which he had clicked without you even knowing, so you were obliviously watching the drama on the television, eating ice cream. He had even posted it on Weverse, blurring you out obviously. But his fans had caught the second hand in the photograph, zoomed into it, and somehow figured out it was a female hand, and then conducted several polls amongst themselves whether it was his girlfriend, his sister, his mother, his friend or his nurse (how would they ever know though?). The results of the poll had been varied, and some had even claimed: guys we don’t know if the nurse and the girlfriend are different people hehehe you know what i mean!! Ugh, these conspiracy theories.

The third one had been the most recent one. You were on a video call with your childhood friend, and he had just entered the room without knocking. He had said hi to your friend, who had smirked and giggled and tried to make suggestive comments until you winked at her to shut the fuck up. Finally he had left after asking you some really redundant questions, making you wonder why he had even entered your room. Your best friend had taken a screenshot of the two of you talking, and she had practically squealed over call god, he’s so handsome!!!! And he’s so in love with you!!! Did you see how he was doting on your face with every word you uttered?! AWWWW! Y/N, I’d say wife him up immediately!

You had laughed then, and you laughed at it now. Every time you scrolled through this secret gallery, you had nothing but a fond smile tugging at your lips, no matter how distant you wanted to make yourself from the man, who had slowly, but surely, taken up all of your heart, and was showing absolutely no intention to leave.

You packed your bags and stood in front of the door, waiting for Jeonghan to bring whatever he was looking for in his bedroom. He had vehemently protested against you helping him, and as a result, a search that could’ve been completed in seconds, was now taking minutes.

Eventually, he appeared. He had a bag for you in his outstretched hand, and you silently took it from him. Peeping in, you saw everything was wrapped with paper. “What’s this for?” “Thank you, Nurse L/N for taking care of me.” He smiled, continuing, “I don’t know why you’re angry at me. But I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you in any way. Please accept my gift.” Your heart was melting with each step he took towards you, eventually so close that you could see your reflection in his eyes. It was too close for you to breathe, but you realised you wanted to get used to this proximity.

“Thank you, then. Jeonghan-ssi, you’ve been an excellent employer these past three months. Thank you for taking good care for me, as well” and you lightly bow.

“How do I see you again?” You’re stunned. Why does he want to see you? “Do I have to break my leg again?” his whispers grow ragged.

You try to crack a joke, “Or you could break an arm,” but he doesn’t smile. He seems impatient for an actual answer. “Or you could call me. We can hang out once every couple of months, if you’re free. Or you could just… you know, call and talk.”

He wants to say something, but your phone begins to ring. Your best friend must have arrived downstairs to give you a ride to her house. You had decided to stay with her for the remainder of the university term.

“Goodbye, Yoon Jeonghan-ssi.”

“Goodbye, Y/N. I’ll miss having you around.”

You don’t believe him. You think he’s just being nice. But oh, somewhere deep down, you hope it’ll be true. You smile at him, tight-lipped, but genuine. He doesn’t smile back.

And just like that, you’re gone.

The next month, you don’t hear from him at all. Your internship has also ended, and you’ve started studying hard, applying to various specialisation courses, and basically trying to forget him. It works, frankly, because with your closest friend around, you have your mind on other things. Such as her extremely toxic situationship, which she doesn’t even realise is harming her, but you keep warning her to step off. Such as her mother baking cookies for you as winter sets in. Such as visiting your own mother’s grave once every week, to give her flowers, a new ritual you’ve set up.

It’s on one of these bus rides to the park which has her grave that you cross the hospital where you had your internship. And you spot, your eyes instantly going wide, a certain familiar someone standing at the bus stop right outside the hospital.

You’d have recognised him from miles away. Even if it’s really late in the evening, the twilight setting in, you can recognise him.

You want to look away and continue the ride to the original destination. You want to ignore him. You want to push away the thought of him waiting (for who?) in front of the hospital where you worked at while staying with him.

But you can’t. You immediately step out of the bus, paying your fare, and walk up a little bit to reach the spot he’s standing. He’s looking the other way so he doesn’t really notice when you come and stand behind him. Until you cough a bit.

And you’ve never seen Yoon Jeonghan smile this brightly before. Never. Not while you were in his house, not even in the videos of him that miraculously come up on your Youtube algorithm now.

“What are you doing here?” you don’t know why, but your voice cannot go beyond a whisper. In the empty streets after dark, he can hear you clearly though.

“You came.” he whispers back.

“You were waiting for me?”

“Who else would I wait for in front of the hospital you worked at?”

“I don’t work there anymore. My internship is over.”

“So I heard. But I had no idea where you live now, and apparently it’s not safe to go to your university if I have to keep you a secret.”

“But waiting in front of a hospital in the dark is safe?”

“It’s a hospital. No one is looking at me here. I’m not the important person here, for anyone.”

You can’t help but say, “You are, for me.”

The stars are out, the cars are flashing by, and you’re walking alongside Yoon Jeonghan on a silent road. Sometimes your arms brush, sometimes he smiles too much for your heart to take, sometimes you look at him for so long that he breaks eye contact. For once in your life, you don’t want to overthink this. Even if tomorrow you wake up and realise this was a dream, you want to live the best dream of your life till the end.

“Hey,” he whispers when you zone out. You’re standing under a streetlamp now, the smell of flowers from the trees around you filling the air. You’re 100 metres away from a tteokbokki stall, and you want to ask him if he wants to eat some, but he holds your hand at that moment.

“Y/N.”

“No more Nurse L/N?”

“You’ve stopped being Nurse L/N for me for a long time now.”

Your heart stops. He grazes his thumb over your pulse point. You think you’ll combust.

“Your palm is sweaty, Y/N. Are you nervous?”

How can you not be when he’s right there, in front of you, so close… but still so far? You don’t know how you landed up like this, after an entire month of avoidance, but knowing that he came every evening to look for you in front of your hospital, waiting till the shift was scheduled to get over, has melted your heart beyond control.

“You’ve cut your hair again.” You finally say.

“Is it looking nice?”

“Hmm… makes you look sharper.”

“Huh?” His eyes are becoming wide now.

You take your other hand out of your pocket and touch his hair with a featherlike touch. “But it’s still so pretty. You won’t cut me, will you?”

He smiles, and leans in, and you can sense him breathing you in. You must be smelling like sweat and grime by now but he doesn’t seem to care. Eventually he places his chin on your head and time has stopped. You can’t help but snuggle into the warm cavity of his body, gently placing yourself against his strong chest, as you can feel now. And somehow, his hands leave yours, and wrap themselves around your back.

It’s a hug.

And then it’s a kiss on your forehead. A kiss on your scalp. And a kiss in your hair. And you snuggle deeper and deeper into him.

He pats your hair gently, and you mumble into his chest. “What took you so long, Hannie? Why didn’t you come to me sooner?” it’s half feverish you know, you don’t even expect him to reply. And yet he does.

“Oh, but Y/N-ah, I’ve been coming to you forever, why did you keep pushing me away, baby?” And you spread your hands around him too, pulling him deeper, until you’re both too squished, and have to move apart for air.

But only a little bit, just enough so that you can see his face, and he holds your face in his big palms.

“Y/N-ah. Do you want to come home with me? I want to watch a new episode of the k-drama with you. I’ve really fallen behind it without having you to watch with.”

You smile, his eyes glitter up with the reflection.

“Of course. But only if you promise to hug me more.”

“No. No more hugs. Can I kiss you?”

You suck in a deep breath, lips parting already, at the wonderful tingle going through your body. You could cry right now, with the time he takes to move in and place his lips on yours gently.

And you do cry. One stray tear escapes your closed eyes, and he kisses that away too.

“Hannie…”

“I’m yours, Y/N-ah. If you’ll have me, forever yours.”

“Of course I’ll have you.”

“Sorry if I kept you waiting for long.”

“It’s okay. You’re worth the wait, anyway.” You smile as you press a kiss on his nose, his little button nose you’ve always found cute. You stand up on your toes and kiss his eyes and his eyebrows and his forehead, but then he stops you. “Baby, let’s go home and then you can kiss me?”

How can you ever say no to Yoon Jeonghan? How could he even think that you’d say no?

“Of course, Hannie. I love you.”

“And I love you, baby.” Another kiss on your lips, and you know you’ve seen heaven. Because if Yoon Jeonghan isn’t the equivalent of heaven, you don’t want to know what is.

#jeonghan #yoon jeonghan #svt #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt fluff #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan x reader #seventeen jeonghan #seventeen fanfic #MY FIRST SEVENTEEN FIC LESSGO #svt my heart #the night shift

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thedreamsofgods · 4 months

Text

I have some uhhh, grievances. With how Hephaestus looks in Hades 2. And I'm trying to find the best way to phrase this, but I make no promises that I'll manage, because I just flat out don't know how to say what I'm trying to say. In short, I think Hephaestus should've been given facial differences.

So theres a lot of different versions of Hephaestus like with any greek god, and as such, there's a lot of different takes on how different parts of his life ago, including his birth. In some myths, he's born a healthy baby and thrown off Olympus when he's older, which injures him and leaves him permanently disabled, and that seems to be the version of events Supergiant went with, and I'm actually mad that they did? Because in the other versions, Hephaestus is born visibly disabled. Some versions refer to him as "lame"(he walks with a noticable limp, he was possibly born with clubfoot which would mean the limp was assumed at birth, though some myths suggest the limp was gained later in life), others call him "ugly", a lot of the terminology is either outdated or completely avoided because asking people to confront disability without being rude about it is too much I guess. Upon seeing the way her child looks, Hera throws him off of Olympus for being born visibly disabled. The landing further disables him in most versions of the story.

And talking around the unpleasant parts of the subject is what bugs me about his Hades 2 design.

Yes, he is visibly disabled, as in he lost his leg at some point, probably in the fall from Olympus, and he uses a wheelchair because of his prosthetic leg. But... that's it. Supergiant had a genuine good chance to depict someone with visible differences that are often looked down on and to make a character just as gorgeous as everyone else. They had the opportunity to make a very handsome man with any sort of facial differences, and they didn't for seemingly no reason. No cleft palate, no cranial differences, no vitiligo, no birthmarks, no asymmetries at all? Not even visible back problems, something many myths specify him having? They didn't even give him any scars or burns when he's the god of the forge???

There was so much room to represent a group of disabled people that rarely if ever get to see themselves depicted as attractive in the game series known for having attractive people. It's hard to not feel like Hephaestus was designed the way he is because of the developer's reputation as the attractive characters game studio. The leg and the wheelchair are well done and he represents that particular disability very well but... that's not the only disability he should represent, and it feels downright cowardly that that's the only disability he represents? I get not wanting to make Hera out to be as terrible as the myths make her out to be, but I just feel deeply disappointed with this Hephaestus design. For as careful as they were with all the gods in the first game and with all the little details and obscure touches they've paid attention to previously, they either didn't do nearly enough here, or they willingly left out so much.

If anyone in this fandom knows of a way to reach out to the developers privately with this sort of feedback, I'd appreciate it. I don't feel even remotely comfortable trying to leave this sort of feedback on a public platform outside of tumblr, and I'm really trusting yall on here to be normal about this on here. I'm putting this in the tags in the hopes that it'll reach someone who can either help me contact Supergiant or who is willing to brave the public forums and feedback locations in my stead.

[Here's a link] to a post talking about the positives of his wheelchair and leg design as a palate cleanser.

#hades game #hades 2 #hades supergiant #hades ii #hephaestus #hephaestus hades #hades 2 spoilers #because of the hephaestus pic. just in case

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charleslee-valentine · 3 months

Text

Flesh and Blood need Flesh and Blood

For the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Disability Pride Month event: Day 6- Underestimated

Word Count: ~3,100

Warnings: Blood and violence. Accidental killing. Period typical ableism & ableist language. Mild panic attacks. Domestic abuse. Religious aspects.

_________

“Take him home. Now, boy.” Drayton Sawyer barks in his middle brother’s face, keeping his yelling hushed to avoid causing a scene.

“Y-Yessir.” Nubbins, for his part, gives a nod and takes off running, only stopping when his clammy hands wrap around the handles of a wheelchair.

Franklin’s wheelchair.

It’ll be a long walk from here, takin’ the road shoulder all the way from the gas station to home, but Drayton’s got a mess to clean and customers to serve that oughta take priority over drivin’ the boys home. Couldn’t be arranged unless it was planned, and nothin’ about today had been goin’ in that sort of direction.

The boys were all together in the station’s yard, running not wheeling or wobbling to the best of their abilities. Using whatever toys they could scrounge together they’d made a game, pitchin’ crushed soda cans, wads of dry gum, a bouncy ball, and so so long as they could smack it around with a bat. Ain’t no objective, though eventually they started trying to catch each other’s swings.

Bubba’s only nine still and learnin’ to upkeep all the things he’d been taught. It’s harder work for him to retain things in his brain, so he stumbles when he walks and struggles to hold a fork at supper, but that’s just Bubba. Mangled little face and all, that’s the Sawyers’ kid brother and he’s goin’ to be included in their play.

Ain’t up to no yuppie scum t’ decide who’s doin’ what and where. Don’t stop them from sharin’ uncalled for opinions.

“That boy out there, you ought lock him up ‘fore someone gets hurt. Teenaged, child, whatever. Don’t matter to them like that. Those are freaks of nature, ‘n whatever they are, they’s goin’ ruin it all the same. Comin’ after the comfortable. You know what I’m sayin’.”

The man wouldn’t stop lecturing Drayton about allowing Bubba to play in the yard with his brother and a friend, like that was the worst option. Like he had any clue of when Mama was perfectly willing to let the state take Bubba for a price, just before her disappearance from the picture. Had a lot of nerve bein’ so ignorant out loud.

Well thing is, Franklin was playing batter, and the man was storming over to lecture here too, and Drayton wasn’t quick enough comin’ ‘round the counter to stop it, and he just reacted. Swing the bat.

Broke the man’s nose on the first swing, saw blood and panicked. Kept swingin’ and jabbing with the bat ‘til his instincts told him the threat was gone and he could stop. Just like swatting a bug.

Except a man’s skull was spilling its contents all over the ground, and nobody even said a word. Nubbins went straight to helping his big brother carry it, Bubba took the bat and ran it inside. The practiced nature of what they were doing, hiding the evidence, didn’t really occur to Franklin just yet. His mind was focused on the trouble he’d face from the law or his parents or even God for this, nevermind if the Sawyers didn’t care.

Now Nubbins is just pushin’ him along like it’s not an issue in the world, and Franklin can’t help but worry out loud, “Oh Lord, why’d I do that?”

“D-Do what?” Nubbins tilts his head and leans down into Franklin’s line of vision, slowing their forward progress from leaning on the wheelchair so heavily.

“You saw me! I killed that man!” Franklin’s voice cracks harshly, his cheeks tinging pink from the embarrassment of that, as if that’s worse than homicide.

But Nubbins straightens out some and casually reminds him, “He was mean.”

Franklin blinks away the surprise of his casual nature and sputters, “Lots of people are mean! But I hit him ‘cross the head with a steel bat! That’s mean too, dontcha think?”

“Nawh.”

“Naw?! Nubbins I'm goin’ to prison. I beat a guy to death and my fam’ly gonna hate me, they ain’t never gonna let me back! Not even God’s gonna want me, it’s gotta be a sin to kill another man. Oh Lord I’m goin’ to Hell Nubbins!”

With Nubbins behind him and nobody around for miles, Franklin won’t deny he started crying.

Nubbins shocks him out of it again with a curious comment, “Wh-What’s it like?”

“What’s what like?” Franklin sniffles, picking at his nails nervously.

His friend downright giggles, “Hell. What’s Hell l-like? I-I never been there.”

Sometimes he forgets the Sawyers aren’t of the faith, seeing it’s so common in his own life. Had to lie downright and tell his mama that they’re church goers alright, just a different sect so they’ll never see them on Sundays. Think he said they was witnesses or somethin’. Sometimes it felt like God was more important to them than even he was, a lonely child ignored for the sake someone they don’t even know’s grace.

Now ain’t the time to be doubtin’ his beliefs, so he sticks to them, and explains, “Hell is where the bad people go when they die.”

“You isn’t a.. a bad people. That other guy was. H-He was mean to Bubba. Anyone m-mean to Bubba gots to sp-splatter.” One of his hands comes down on the rubber lined handle of the wheelchair, making a dull thud that rattles Franklin’s bones. Almost worse than his comment, “H-He smashed up r-real good too, Frankie!”

“Oh God, I’m gonna be sick..” Franklin gets overwhelmed until it tightens in his stomach and feels funny in his throat. He covers his mouth, “You got a bag I could throw up in?”

Despite Franklin’s urgency, Nubbins sounds so casual, “Jus’ lean o-over.”

“My spine is paralyzed silly, I cain't just lean any way I wanna.” Correcting him works to calm Franklin down some at least, staying level headed so he don’t yell at Nubbins over forgetting a good excuse to breathe normal.

“Oh. I c-can help lean ya.” He offers patiently, impressive for Nubbins.

Franklin decides a few deep breaths’ll do. “It’s alright- No I don’t think I’m gonna be sick no more. It’s alright.”

“My sick lasts a.. a l-lot l-longer than that!” There’s something like admiration there in his voice. Like it’s got nothin’ to do with Epstein-Barr and it’s just some talent Franklin has that makes him feel better.

He laughs softly, “That’s ‘cause you got a condition.”

“Nuh-Uh.” Nubbins argues, even though it isn’t true.

“Oh, alright.” Franklin just agrees ‘cause that’s easier. And things are good for a while, pleasant. ‘Til his worries come out again and the reality of running away from murder with Nubbins sets in, “You think your brother is mad at me?”

“N-No. Not you. H-He don’ hit no o-outsiders.”

“I ain’t an outsider. I’m your best friend.”

Switching to pushing the wheelchair with only one hand, he shakes out the other, happy from hearing Franklin say that. Nubbins wants Franklin to be happy too, “That’s true. B-But.. I won’ let him hurt ya! I-I’ll take the beatin’. It’s no t-trouble.”

Somehow, that brings more dread into Franklin’s heart, “Critter, that don’t make me feel better.”

Not knowing a better way to settle it, Nubbins just shrugs and keeps down the path towards home, imitating buzzing car engines as they pass, or the crunch of Franklin’s wheels along the cracking road. Ain’t all that worried honestly for the crime scene they’re leaving behind.

That’s when Franklin remembers that the second he had swung the bat, Bubba got overwhelmed by the confrontation and run off towards home. Can tell he’s in there from the curtains being drawn up tight when he knows for certain they was open when he got dropped off this morning.

Nubbins seems to remember about the same and takes off jogging a little faster down the rest of the drive, shaking Franklin’s wheelchair around accidentally. He lets it slide since it’s a big brother’s concern for his sibling causing the rush and don’t ask him to slow down.

After dragging him backwards up the stairs, Nubbins shoves the door open and calls out, “B-Bubba, you home yet?”

If they’re quiet, they can both hear a quiet chuffing noise deep in the house somewhere, Bubba making noises like a pig to soothe himself.

“C’mon L-Leatherface, answer me if- if you’s here!” Nubbins raises his voice some impatiently while pulling Franklin inside after himself.

This time they get some babbling in response, and though Franklin wishes he understood the little Sawyer’s language, he’s not a master yet.

It’s a good thing Nubbins answers his question just fine, “Yeh, I-I got Frankie with me. You c-come out. I need- I need helps with supper.”

Out of the basement he emerges, no sign of the distress beyond an extra layer of clothes, a soft jacket he wears when he needs the comfort. Don’t know who it belonged to for it to be so large, hanging down past his curled up hands and almost to his knees, but he loves that thing. At some point, Franklin realized it was a woman’s robe and thought it might belong to his mother, but she’s a mystery to Franklin too.

“Cook gonna be o-ornery when he gets home, so’s I-I want you to help make s-somethin’ good!” Taking on the big brother role, Nubbins bosses him around, “Me ‘n F-Frankie, we gonna clean up and get- get the house nice, s-so you gonna cook!”

All together they get it presentable, sweeping the floors and wiping down the counters. Franklin is assigned to the dining room only since he’s never been in the kitchen, setting up a fancy table cloth and some plates. Never seen the place look so tidy before, wonders if they only do cleaning up for the holidays or guests.

Somehow it all feels like he’s preparing for the gallows, sentenced to a hanging the very moment Drayton gets home and subjects him to whatever punishment he’s got to face. An eye for an eye, killed by the same bat maybe? The police called on him and shooting him blank in the head when he cries. Hopefully not one of the oldest Saywer’s signature beatings, he’d almost rather one of the other choices.

He’s shaking like a leaf by the time Drayton cracks the door open, talking to them at a low tone ‘cause he knows they’d be close, not stupid enough to hide after this.

“Boys. Today’s uh- been a big day, huh?”

Draytons words trail off into a chuckle, but everyone else stays silence. Franklin gives a wet sniffle, on the verge of tears again.

Putting his hands on the back of the master chair, he leans forward and glances down the table, showing a crooked smile. “Supper don’t look too bad. Uh. I brought you uh- somethin’ down from the station-“

Over his shoulder, he gestures to a grocery bag he left by the door.

Nubbins starts bouncing in his seat, drumming his palms against the table, “I-Is it the beeve!?”

“Don’t you go ruinin’ the surprise!” Drayton kicks the seat of his chair, all that modest cheer melted into fury in the literal blink of an eye, “Did you tell him?!”

Franklin swallows thickly, “Tell me what, sir?”

“About the meat!”

“No.. I.. No sir. I don’t got a clue what you’re talkin’ about. Either of ya.”

“In that case-“ He goes off to retrieve the bag and brings it to the table, raising it up along with his eyebrows at the same time, nudging it forward until he unveils what’s inside. Butchered meat, it seems, but the third piece comes out with lightly burnt skin left on, and a tattoo. “Congratulations, Franklin! You’re one of us now!”

“My- My firstie t-time was a long time ago. You’s jus’ a l-late bloomer like Bubba!” Nubbins adds, clapping Franklin on his shoulder over and over, like he’s petting a dog.

Franklin who’s mouth has gone so dry he’s got to down half his whole glass of sweet tea, “You’re talkin’ about killin’.”

“Uh-huh! Mine was a.. Bank man! B-Bank man come to take Drayton’s truck away, h-he put his hands on me, a-an’ I slashed his ugly neck r-right open!” Nubbins excitedly imitates an over-exaggerated spraying of blood by pushing air between his teeth and making the splatter with his hands.

It’s amusing, but the gravity of what they’re telling him holds Franklin’s joy down deep inside, “I jus’ don’t understand why. I never known anybody in the whole world to be like this. Killers this way.”

“We gots to eat.” Clearly repeating what somebody else told him, Nubbins gives a noncommittal shrug, “D-Dogs in the world ‘an stuff, w-we gots to eat each other.”

Ah. So he is right about that. Drayton cooked up the man he killed on accident and brought it home as some kind of treat for the boys.

Franklin tries to avoid havin’ to do the act by bringing up his own condition, diabetes type one, “Surely that ain’t good for my blood sugar. I got that disease you know, makes my sugar go up and down and I gotta watch it real close-“

“B-B-But you been eatin’ it j-jus’ fine all this time!” Nubbins interrupts him.

That’s when it clicks. He’s been doin’ what they do. Gettin’ so close to the Sawyers, the town loonies, was gonna end in somethin’ like this he s’posed. Everyone who said he’d always be a weak little baby, well they just didn’t know that he had it written in the stars he was gonna be a killer.

“Sally said the meat tasted rotten.” He comments vaguely, realizin’ he really is special this time.

Nubbins scoffs, never the biggest fan of Sally. “Sh-She would.”

“Oh hush. You aren’t to lay a hand on her, you hear?” Franklin scolds, but it’s just gently, just to make sure he isn’t doin’ the wrong thing by sittin’ at this table and not running.

Well, wheeling. He’d probably not outwheel Nubbins’ run, even if he’s got the arm strength to cave in a human skull.

“Never ever.” Making a cross over his heart, Nubbins declares it to him, “I swears, o-on my s-sick Granny.”

Dead granny. Franklin knows the woman ain’t still kickin’ no matter how much Nubbins insists she is. Though with this revelation he’s goin’ through lately, it prob’ly ain’t a lie that she’s in the upstairs of their house.

“Jesus. Well alright.”

The rest of the agreement is eat the evidence of his crime with the boys, then he’s free to go home. Seems so simple, it gets Franklin’s heart just pounding in his chest.

“I don’t.. Gotta keep up the killin’ now, do I?” He asks, on his way out to get driven back next door.

“Wouldn’t imagine.” Drayton is the only one out here yet while Nubbins runs around like a madman packing back up a bag of toys he’d scattered all around, forgetting Franklin wouldn’t get to stay forever.

“And I’m allowed to go home?” Franklin keeps asking, sounding feeble and scared.

This time he gets a scoff, like he should find that obvious, “Don’t do kidnappin’. Never let the boys keep one longer than a single night. After that- Lights out.”

One more, “And you really won’t hurt my family?”

“Not the girl, anyhow. No promises on your old man.” Drayton cackles, downright, like some kind of witch.

Franklin knows the bastard ain’t kind, certainly not to his own uncle Lefty or his wife, or actually his kids now that he thinks about it, but he’s not sure his Daddy deserves death over that. “That ain’t funny.”

“Wasn’t joking.” The oldest Sawyer assures him, cold smile dropping away again. “Siblings, they mean a lot more to the heart. You’ll understand that someday way I do.”

He extinguishes the cigarette he’d been smoking right in Franklins face by crushing it against a window sill, “That’s your little sister an’ I’ll respect it. Not a hair outta place on little Sally’s head.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“In exchange for that you keep your damn yap shut.”

Eagerly, to show he ain’t gonna two time, Franklin nods his head, “Yes sir! This stays between me and y’all and the Lord.”

He gets a disgruntled comment under Drayton’s breath that he doesn’t even hear, “Shit, you’re jus’ like your uncle, boy.”

His faith been tested today, but he oughta lean into it while he can. Keep himself from goin’ completely off the edge. Somehow the Sawyers seem to have managed that much, though, like Drayton said, they’ve got each other. God is so far away, nothin’ at all like a sibling he can hate or hold in his arms, depending on the day.

God severs the spine of a little baby and leaves him to die with prayers and prayers from his family that never quite reached him. Little babies grow up into boys in wheelchairs, who can’t even eat a handful of sweet berries without his body threatening to give up on him. Grow into killers, given the right support. Ain’t gotta let himself lose now.

Drayton seems to hear all that thinkin’ somehow, some twisted way of his, and goes back on his word on the truck drive. He waves Franklin away, “Go on and get. Nubbins’ll get ya back home. Tell ‘em I needed your help handin’ me tools down the station and lost track of time. They’ll believe that.”

A test of will or an alibi, he ain’t quite sure, but he nods his head. Just one thing he’s worried about, “If they don’t?”

“You tell me. We’ll do what needs done.” Drayton says it like it’s simple, and clenches one hand, bringing it up in the air and then back down. Franklin realizes he’s miming stabbing someone or beatin’ ‘em with a hammer.

“Um… Thank you Mr. Drayton. For not killing me too.” They both flinch when Nubbins finally slams the door open so hard it clatters against the wall, earning him a quick slap before they can continue on their way. “Um. Goodnight, sir.”

Halfway down the trail, Nubbins glances back at the shrinking house light.

“You scared of big brother, a-ain’t ya?”

“A little.” Franklin confesses.

Makes him a little sad when Nubbins whispers, “Me t-too..”

It’s them two that’re bonded. Theres bad on both sides, from a rotten temperament to a lack of care, to stuck up Sally and mean old Drayton. His home is with his best friend, in his heart, just as Sawyer as any of the others. That’s his comfort for a long time, knowing he’s capable, got backup when he needs it, and a dead body under his belt. Ain’t no invalid.

#tcmfanevent #tcmdisabilityweek #my writing #my fic #tcm fanfic #nubbins sawyer #franklin hardesty #franklin hardesty x nubbins sawyer #franknub #drayton sawyer #bubba sawyer #in this au franklin and nubbins are only like 13-14 #the title is a line from flesh and blood by Johnny cash which is a huge inspiration for this fic and franknub for me in general

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annemiek19 · 1 year

Text

Ulcer - Jay Halstead

Your husband Jay Halstead has never been one to complain about anything. No matter how much pain he was in, you never heard him about it. The whole day Jay had been acting off, and you had a feeling that something was going on, but he was a grown man. If there was something wrong, he knew he could talk to you. You saw him sneaking off to the break room, while working on a case. You watched him as you saw him gripping his side. That’s it. You stood up from your desk and made your way over to Jay. You shut the door behind to you give you some sort of privacy. “Jay, what’s going on?”

He was leaning against the counter of the kitchen top. with on hand, his other hand still on the side of his stomach. “Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Look at me and say that again.”

Jay slowly turned around, he was still leaning against the counter. He looks you right in the eye and said, “Y/N, I am fine.”

But you could see he was lying. You could see the pain in his eyes. “You’re a stubborn idiot, you know that? You can’t to me, Halstead. I can see that you’re in pain. So you either say what is bothering you or-.”

Before you could finish your sentence Jay rushed over to the trash can and puked up blood.

“Jay, that’s blood. What the hell is going on?” You helped him to one of the chairs. He sat down with a load groan.

“I don’t know. My side has been killing me the entire day. I thought it was nothing.”

“Clearly it isn’t. Let’s go see your brother.”

Jay sighed, but he stood up. You quickly let Voight know what was going on before rushing to the hospital.

In the car you called Will.

“Will, I am coming to Med with Jay. He said his side has been bothering him all day and he just threw up blood.”

“Jezus. Okay, I will let Maggie know that you’re coming and get Crocket down here. Any other symptoms?”

You look at Jay.

“Nausea, a little light headed,” Jay groans.

“I also don’t think he ate anything today, Will.”

“Okay, we’ll wait for you at the parking lot. We’ll figure this out, Y/N.”

“Thanks Will. We’re pulling up in about two minutes.”

You hang up the phone. You quickly shoot a look at Jay. All the color has drained from his face now. God, you hate seeing him like this.

Arriving at the hospital, Will is already waiting for you with a wheelchair. For once, Jay didn’t protest.

Will hurried into the ED. “I’ll come find you when you can see him, okay? He’s in good hands,” Will said as he and a nurse helped Jay on a bed.

“I know. Thanks, Will.” You looked at Jay before you made your way to the living room. You sat down and sighed. It wasn’t your first time in this waiting room, while Jay was in the ED, but every time it sucked just as much. All you could do was wait and you hated it.

“Y/N?” you looked up and saw Matt Casey from Firehouse 51 standing in front of you.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” You stood up and hugged him.

“Gallo got injured and we came to check on him. What are you doing here?” Matt asked.

“Eh…” you let out a breath. You tried your best not to cry and be strong, like always, but seeing your friend here just made it a lot harder.

“Everything okay?” Matt asked worried.

You shook your head as you sat down. “It’s Jay… He threw up blood and has this pain in his side. He’ll probably be okay, but it just sucks you know? It’s not the first time im here, and probably not the last time, but I hate this. Waiting and doing nothing, not knowing how he’s doing.”

Matt sat down next to you. “He’s in good hands, Y/N.”

“I know… but still. It’s like he’s always the one getting hurt. Sometimes I just wish it was me, you know?”

“I can imagine, but then Jay would be thinking the exact same.”

“Probably. That man is just as stubborn has hell. Are all guys like that?”

Matt laughed. “Most of us are, yeah. We just don’t like to complain.”

“Idiots.”

Matt laughed again.

“Is Gallo okay?”

“Yeah, just a few scratches. Look, I’ve go to have the station, but I’m a call away, you know that.”

“Thanks, Matt.”

“Any time. Let me know how he is doing okay?”

“Will do.”

You and Matt say goodbye just as Will walks into the waiting room.

“How is he?” you ask standing up.

“He has an ulcer,” Will says and suggest to sit down again.

“An ulcer?”

“Yeah. Basically it’s a break on the skin, in the lining of an organ, or on the surface of a tissue.”

“Isn’t that caused by stress?”

“It could be. In Jay’s case I would probably say yes. He has to take some antibiotics for two weeks and take it easy. So no work for him for at least a week.”

“And then he’ll be fine? After those two weeks of antibiotics?”

“He has to come in again, but he’s likely going to be fine.”

“So we can go home?”

Will nods. “Yes, please. Take him home. He is being a pain in my ass.”

“Aren’t I always?”

You look up and see Jay looking at you with a smile.

“He is on some pain meds right now, hence the happy smile,” Will says.

“Thanks, Will.”

“No problem. Just keep him home this week, okay? Plenty of rest.”

“You’re no fun,” Jay sighs.

You chuckle as you stand up from the chair and wrap your arm around Jay. “I’m glad you’re doing okay.”

“I’m always going to be fine,” Jay says as he kisses the top of your head as you make it back to the car.

You roll your eyes. “Until you are not. Just please let’s stay out the ED this month. Just no more getting hurt or I will be getting an ulcer.” You get into the driver side of the car.

“At least you’re driving now.”

“As if that makes up for you getting hurt,” you snort.

“Are you mad at me?”

“No… maybe a little. It’s more frustrated. You keep getting hurt and I am so done with it.”

“I'v only been to the ED twice this month.”

“Three if you include today, and that’s the bigger stuff. You had four times when you ignore the advice of a trained medic and just went home instead of the hospital. Jay, you are going to end up dead one day and I…” You couldn’t even finish your sentence. You park the truck in the parking garage of your building and get out the car as fast as you can.

“I won’t. I’ve never been hurt that bad.” Jay steps out of the car.

You turned around. “Until you are!” You yell at him. “You don’t know how bad is going to be next time, and don’t say there won’t be, because I know you, Jay. There is going to be a next time. And one day, I am going to get a call that you didn’t make it. One day, you are going to get hurt so bad, that nobody can help you.”

“That’s not true, Y/N.”

“Oh, really? How do you know? You’re always the one getting hurt Jay. For the 10 years we have been on the job, I have seen Kevin in the hospital once, Adam I can’t even remember, Kim has been here once, I think I had to go to the hospital three times. How many times do you think you have been there?”

“What’s your point?”

“I think you have been there at least 5 times in a year. Whether it was a small cut or a freaking bullet hole. You have to stop getting hurt. Because what about me, huh? What about me when you leave? Have you ever thought how it makes me feel to be in that waiting room every time? What about me?” Tears roll down your face. “Have you ever thought what it is like for me? How it feels for me when you get wheeled into the ED, again and again? You’re not the only one getting hurt if you get shot again. I have to watch you in pain. I have to wait in that damn room, hoping that they will come out and say you made it and that you are going to be fine. But you don’t know how slowly the clock ticks when you’re waiting for those words. You don’t know how much it hurts sitting there, knowing that the love of your life might not come back.” A loud sob leaves your mouth. You step away from Jay and turn around.

“Y/N…”

You hold up your hand. Hopefully Jay gets the hint to leave you alone for a few seconds. One day this fight, or discussion or whatever you want to call it was coming, you both probably knew it. You just didn’t expect so many emotions to come out. You take a deep breath before you turn back around. Jay is watching you with tears in his eyes well.

“I love you, Jay. I love you so much, but you can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep getting hurt.”

“I love you, and I’m sorry, for all the pain that I have caused you. But all I am trying to do is protect you, make sure that you walk away without a scratch. Because I can’t loose you.”

“I can’t lose you. Just promise me one thing, because I want to go to bed right now and watch a movie.”

“Whatever it is, I promise you.”

“Just be more careful. I know this wasn’t the last time, but I can’t keep doing this. It’s part of the job, I know and I understand, but you don’t always have to be the hero, okay? At the end of the day, we both need to go home without a pitstop at the hospital.”

Jay slightly chuckles. “I promise I will be more careful.”

“Good. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jay says before he kisses you.

#jay halstead one shot #jay halstead story #jay halstead imagine #jayhalstead #jay halstead #Chicago PD #chicago med #Chicago Fire #chicago pd imagine #One Chicago #Jesse Lee Soffer #jesse lee soffer imagine #jesse lee soffer one shot

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cleromancy · 8 months

Text

oracle year one born of hope from batman chronicles #5 (published 1996) is hands down the best defridging story ive ever read for a lot of reasons--the first being just that its such a damn good comic in the first place. but every time i read it im so struck by the way it reframes the casual *incidental* violence done to barbara in TKJ, where she's just an obstacle in the joker's way to get to jim (to get to batman) and it's not *about* her. on the very second page of OYO we have this:

the entire page (...minus bruce in the bg up there) is drawn from barbaras point of view while she recounts the incident from her hospital bed. literally recentering her and her perspective, her experience and her feelings. where TKJ sensationalizes and sexualizes the violence done to her we see an illustration of her choice--love for her father, "don't get up"--then the shock and pain of the injury, then the operating room.

and she opened the story with "i cant believe i was such an idiot," berating herself for not looking through the peephole or using the chain on the door before she opened it, emphasizing that she knew better, and its a very human response to being the victim of something like this--almost fixating on a small mistake you made. inside the story its about the grief and the sense of control bargaining gives you--"if only i had--!" and then on the meta level its actually addressing the "well why DIDNT barbara look through the peephole???" (<- the answer being that TKJ never considered whether or not she would have, bc that was less important to the story than hurting her.)

and the next page. god. its masterful:

the balance of OYO being a response to TKJ on a meta level and the genuine story-level exploration of barbaras feelings just in the first 3 pages alone... chefs kiss. the way it addresses the previous bullshit storytelling choices--but builds something new off of them, because that shouldn't be the end of barbaras story.

and its so fantastic bc it doesn't shy away from barbaras ugly feelings...

she's so angry and she's allowed to be. and thats also what makes it such a good defridging--that its a resonant portrayal of becoming disabled. anger, grief, humiliation, shame, fear, the absolute *slog* that is recovery, the realization that your independence has been compromised... it really reckons with what this means for her in that moment and moving forward.

just posting this one bc i love her...

and the crux of the story is barbara taking control back over her life, barbara not feeling helpless anymore. its a superhero origin story to its core and its fantastic at what it does.

and i mean... i do always feel iffy about this part:

the juxtaposition of her wanting to do this without batmans help with her, well, unknowingly accepting bruces help. makes seesaw motion with hand. i always feel like its a bit of a weak spot... i like elements of it, particularly *because* this work is addressing so much of TKJs bullshit; this is making bruce actually care about barbaras injury because fuck you he *should* care, he *should* do something. and barbaras need for independence and her struggles to accept help are pretty central to her character and in a story about disability... i mean interdependence is a core tenant of disability rights activism, no man is an island and all that. but btwn it being bruce who finds richard dragon for her to train with, and richard dragon both being yknow a man and not a wheelchair user himself, it falls flat. which is really something you notice bc the rest of the story is so damn good... its hard for me to put my finger on exactly what i think they should've done instead, bc they only had 18 pages for this story and like. it's incredibly tight, not a panel wasted, so it *was* important that barbaras teacher be someone we the reader already know, and there was no *time* to establish some other way for barbara to find someone of richard fucking dragons caliber on her own without bruces connections.

but that i guess does bring me to. the other thing i find frustrating re: OYO which is just that it's. 18 pages collected with two other stories, neither of which is memorable... i mean how many other year ones of a heavy hitter like barbara freakin gordon can you think of with less than a single full issue? and batgirl year one had 9 issues (9 mediocre, mediocre issues). i dont think OYO needed that much time (but hey neither did fucking bgyo)... but come on. come on!!!!!!

anyway whatever. oracle sweep

#dc #text #note for the record that like #barbara had already been doing oracle stuff all the way back to suicide squad in like 1988 #and i think the first bop mini was the winter before this came out #but when i say this is the defridging story i hope u still know what i mean.#dc text #barbara text

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eywaseclipse · 8 months

Text

Back to the Stars

Characters: curvy human! reader, Jake, featuring; Grace Augustine, Norm, Max

Request: "if it's possible, may i pls request fluff of 2009 Jake giving plus size reader a tour of Pandora? Maybe on his ikran too. No pressure, and thanks!" For the lovely @cumikering

Synopsis: You’re an engineer working on the Avatar program alongside the incredible Grace Augustine, and other talented scientists with the exception of Jake Sully. An impulsive young ex Marine who was lucky enough to take his twin brother’s place among the group of you. Part of you is jealous he happened upon the program under these circumstances, another part is hiding the undeniable chemistry you two harbor for one another.

Warnings: none just a little bit of self image issues, and fluff

Words: 2k

The whirring of the machines fill your ears with an array of delight. The excitement of a new day brings you the amount unbridled joy as a kid in a candy shop. “Max I’m going in 3.” Grace Augustine confidently states. “Got it.” Max confirms surely with his advanced screen casting the glow on his tanned skin. “Calibrating pod 3.” You chime in as your fingers work expertly to configure Grace’s link pod for her, as you watch Jake Sully examine his own. You can’t help but feel slightly bad for the guy; after all he lose his twin. Part of you resented his situation in a way. No preparation whatsoever, and he’s thrust into your world of science and decades worth of school and training just like that. You shake your head as the thoughts of self doubt and pity pry their little claws into your brain as you hear the machines enter position.

Several hours go by, as you and Max routinely check on Grace and Jake’s vital signs and link pod statuses. “Looking good on my end” You smile confidently; knowing damn well you’ve taken almost 6 years perfecting the mechanical engineering side of this program. Many years ago back on Earth you dreamed of a life better more well suited for you genius and gift for science. Now almost 10 years later, you’re here as one of the youngest mechanical engineers attempting to follow the footsteps of one of the most prolific scientists you’ve seen in your time; Grace Augustine.

“Someone get me a damn cigarette, wheres my god damn cigarette?” Grace groans loudly exiting the link pod. You here the scurrying of feet chasing her around the lab desperate to ease her clearly irritated nerves, chuckling to yourself as you get the link pods settled into a neutral. You watch as Jake’s pod comes out spinning open, as he groans himself. You walk up to the pod with Max in case he needs assistance. “Don’t, I got this” He waves his hand in protest. You and Max share a knowing look, “You’re not used to the link bed yet, take it easy. Grace almost fainted the first few times she came out of hers.” You laugh. Jake just mumbles incoherently, and jumps into his wheelchair pulling each leg into place. “O.K.” Jake teases you. “Ugh.” You roll your eyes in playful rebuttal as Max watches the awkward yet entertaining interaction.

“So when are you letting me take you out y/n? You know I tamed my own Ikran last week, I’m one step closer to becoming a man.” Jake wheels behind you. “A man you say?” You lightheartedly scoff. This day just like any other, goes the way it usually does; playful banter, knowing looks, sarcasm laced with clear want and yearning yet neither one of you do a damn thing about it. “Yeah a man. Even gave him a name; Bob.” He smiles with his regular shit eating grin. Both of you make your way down the long corridor towards the mess hall, hungry from the day’s work, now almost 3 months into his and Grace’s expedition to help the Omatikaya. “Well Bob seems like a very fitting name for a majestic creature on Pandora Jake, I can only imagine how Neytiri feels.” You scoff sarcastically.

“Oh come on y/n you’re telling me you’re not a little curious what it’s like to ride on an Ikran through the Hallelujah Mountains? Just, lemme take ya for a little joy ride.” He smirks. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t at least a little intrigued by the idea. To ride among the starry night sky with the wind in your hair.. and then it hit you. You’d have to be in close proximity of Jake, holding on tightly to his avatar form intimately close for him to see you outside of your work clothes that you hide under daily. Your mind now riddled with hesitation and self doubt makes your cheeks heat up with blush. “I…” You awkwardly stutter, clear as day to Jake you’re holding back on something. “Come on, please? You gonna make me beg?” He jokes as you approach the cafeteria. “Jesus Jake, fine. You know I’m breaking protocol right? I could lose my job.” You huff out.

“Yeah ‘cause they’d fire you and send your ass back in cryo all alone on a billion dollar ship for a 6 year trip for taking a little late night spin with a hot avatar?” He teases relentlessly. “You’re an asshole.” You chuckle. “Yeah heard that one before.” He snickers out. Both of you get in line to receive your less than pleasant military grade food, and sit down at the table with the other scientists with Grace, Norm, and Max. You dig into your meal, listening to one of Grace’s many stories about Jake’s stupidity, “Then all you see is this angry Thanator chasing after him.” “Hey it’s not something you can teach.” Jake rebukes with a mouthful of Mac n Cheese. The table joins in laughter including yourself, just shaking your head at the image alone.

You finish your lunches, heading back to your respective areas, when you feel Jake tug your hand lightly. “Meet me in the main wing at midnight.” He winks playfully. Fuck, he was serious. You think to yourself. “Fine…” You whisper. “Good, Norm and Max will be there too.” He smiles. “Now how the hell did you get these two in on it?” Your jaw drops in disbelief, but before you get your answer Jake simply waves his hand ignoring you with another shit eating grin on his face.

Later that evening you find yourself staring at your figure in the full body mirror. You typically avoid that corner for reasons like this one right now. Standing in just your bra and panties you sigh heavily as you gaze at your curvaceous body. Standing tall at 5’9” You knew that for the most part you’d never be as dainty as Julene, one of the tech scientists you’ve come to befriend. Blonde, porcelain skinned, and beautiful princess like features. Entirely different from your whole existence. Where her skin illuminates in the moonlight, your warm caramel skin glistens in the sun. Your dark curls cascade over your shoulders, and your sharp cheekbones stand out as a constant reminder of your ancestors. You wear your features with pride, despite the constant ego death of comparison on a daily basis. But your insecurities lay bare when you see your body, like right now.

I can’t do this. Why am I doing this? You stare in disgust. Rummaging through your drawers you find a loose enough cotton T, and a pair of your favorite jeans. You won’t lie, they fit you like a glove. You zip up and button the jeans comfortably as you look at the material hugging your legs deliciously, maybe I’m overthinking this…. You decide last second to curl your lashes, moisturize your skin, with one final sigh. Just as you finish tying your boots, you hear a faint knock on the door. You take a deep breath and open it to see Jake. His eyes take in your body, as you immediately notice the way they scan you up and down, “damn” he smirks, feeling your ears grow hot. “Let’s go” He nods his head into the other direction. “Right” you sigh and tug on the hem of your t shirt out of habit.

“You nervous or something?” He inquires. “I guess.. I mean I just don’t want to get in trouble, that’s all” You quickly rebuke, but you know Jake’s smart enough to call bullshit on that. “Hm” He just hums. Just like he said, you see Norm and Max in the main room, quietly talking as the screens light up. “Did Jake blackmail you or something Norm?” You chuckle, alongside Jake, but before he can answer Jake pipes in, “Let’s just say Norm here owes me one.” And just like that, a small blush forms on Norm’s face, waving you and Jake away, “yeah yeah.” Your brows furrow with confusion but you make a note of remembering to ask Jake about this later.

“Alright Jake number 2 is already for you, y/n come with me to the air lock room, you need a mask.” Max instructs. Right, yes this is happening. You follow Max to the air lock sealed part of the wing and get your gear ready, securing the mask tightly to your face and hooking the battery to your jeans clipping it in. “Alright looks good, Jake will meet you out front, his body is only a few clicks away, give him about 10 minutes, I’ll wait here with you.” Max smiles sweetly. “Thanks Max. So, why does Norm owe Jake a favor?” You inquire slyly.

“Jake caught Norm and Trudy hooking up the other day at the outpost shack while Grace was taking samples.” Max blushes. “Ah… right.” You both chuckle playfully. You talk about nefarious things while waiting for Jake when you see the tall blue figure approach the window. “Aright you ready?” Max asks, “yup” You secure your mask once more as you open the door of the air locked chamber, hearing the automated voice countdown from 10. You wave to Max on the other side as all oxygen gets sucked out, opening the seal to walk into the jungle.

You step down a few steps to see a happy avatar Jake. “There you are.” He smiles. “Here I am.” You crank your neck up to see him. “Hop on, we’re a ways away from where I have Bob hanging out.” He crouches down for you to piggyback onto him. You smile and jump feeling your thighs get secured now walking into the thick of the Pandora forest. Jake carries you as if you’re as weightless as a feather seamlessly weaving through the branches of the large trees, feeling the significant difference in his body since the beginning of the expedition.

You can’t help the way your heart flutters feeling his bulging biceps flex under your thighs, or the way you rest your chin on his shoulder as you gaze into the jungle completely mesmerized by its bioluminescent wonder. “How you holding up back there? We’re close” Jake turns his head. “Yeah I’m good.” You wrap your arms more securely to his neck. A few minutes pass when Jake slowly comes to a stop, “Alright hop down, just wait here.” You feel him squat down for you to glide off his body, watching as he yips into a tree. A giant hiss rips through the leaves, as an Ikran emerges flapping its huge wings. You crouch down shielding yourself, in an immediate gut reaction. Jake chuckles “Hi ” Stroking Bob’s snout. “Don’t get shy on me y/n.” He turns around smirking holding his hand out to you. You slowly rise, and approach Bob, gently as the giant creature chirps loudly, and nudges his face into Jake’s hand further.

“You wanna pet him?” Jake smiles. You whip your head up and stare mindlessly, “I can’t reach.” You smack him playfully. He just rolls his eyes and scoops you up bridal style causing a squeak to escape your mouth. “Alight there, be slow with your movements, he’s nice I promise.” He speaks softly. You hesitantly bring your hand out to Bob’s beak watching his face twitch inquisitively, getting closer to his snout. The sheer size difference alone causes your stomach to fill with butterflies, as you gently stroke the snout of the Ikran. Bob’s body flutters with emotions as he nudges his face into your hand more, “I think he likes you” Jake chuckles.

You smile back, and caress the Ikran more, the rough leathery skin being a stark contrast to your soft flesh, bewilders you with child like fascination. “Alright you ready for the best damn night of your life?” Jake smiles. “Oh god… ready as I’ll ever be..” You laugh nervously. He gently puts down, to secure the saddle on Bob, tugging it lightly, and patting his neck. “Alright.” Jake scoops you up once more, hoisting himself and you up onto Bob with one arm and placing you down in front of him. “Hold onto these reigns, and I’ll take care of the rest.” He lowers his head to whisper in your ear. A slight shiver ripples through your body, as Jake makes Tsaheylu with Bob. The power of the Ikran radiates through your body feeling the vibrations of his screech. You feel a sharp lift as he ascends off the branch and into the sky. “Oh shit!” You shout in surprise, Jake just chuckles, gripping your torso firmly, as you try to get your bearings looking into the disappearing canopy.

“Let’s go!” Jake happily shouts into the wind, causing a loud exasperated laugh to escape your lungs. The cool damp air caresses your skin invitingly, watching as the who sky lights up with a cluster of twinkling stars. Your knuckles begin to turn white from your tight grip, clenching as you feel Bob bank left in the wind, “relax for me y/n” Jake laughs. “Sorry” You chuckle sheepishly. Your eyes advert from the sky, to the approaching rocks, floating in the air causing your jaw to drop open in complete wonder. Bob seamlessly glides through them, weaving his way in and out, as you feel the spray of a waterfall hit your skin. “Hold on!” Jake shouts, as Bob sharply flies up and onto one of the floating mountains, landing with a loud thud.

Your breath hitches, while you adapt to the cool tropical air and sudden halt feeling Jake rub small circles on your stomach. “Let me help ya get down.” He whispers. Your ears heat up, while Jake grabs your waist with his much larger hands helping you down. “How was that for your first little joy ride?” He smiles playfully. “Well I can honestly say nothing quite like it” You feel your cheeks blush profusely. “Why’d you take me here anyway?” Jake shrugs nonchalantly and rubs the back of his head, “thought it was romantic” Your eyes widen and you crank your neck up to make sure you heard that right. “Oh” Is all you manage to squeak out. “Is that a good ‘oh’ or a bad one?” Jake laughs nervously. You bite your lip, feeling suddenly more exposed than ever. “I… a good one” You answer honestly. “Alright..” Jake smiles in relief and places his large hand on your shoulder leading you to a mossy covered log. “I thought we could star gaze for a bit if that’s okay with you” He whispers awkwardly.

“I’d love that” You grin widely, walking to the mossy log, and getting seated on the lush grass. Jake’s body heat radiates closely next you, feeling the warmth of his velvety skin next to your legs. “I really took you here tonight, because I.. I uh. Well I like you y/n.” Jake stutters out. You turn you head, and crank your neck to face him, as he lowers himself down to the point where he’s eye level with you, gently tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear. “R-really?” You whisper softly. “Yeah really.” He chuckles. “I think you’re really god damn sexy really…” He smirks confidently. “Blue Jake or human Jake?” You tease him. “Both.” He responds with no hesitation. Your can feel your cheeks heat up quickly practically hearing your heart thrum loudly in your throat. You try not to make it obvious but Jake just scoots closer to you, his body practically on top of yours. “What I’m trying to say pretty girl, is will you go out with me? Go steady? Hmm?” He inquires slyly. You laugh and look up to him, “well how could I refuse?” He smiles so wide his sharp canines poke out, scrunching his nose happily, “Alright then..” He grins in victory and pulls your small body in with his large bicep, as both of you watch the night sky twinkle for you.

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