#god I hope it becomes available at exactly 12 am

[moerusai]

Warning that I will stop tagging "man suang spoilers" this 29th.

COZ WHAT ARE YOU DOING. STREAM IT ASAP.

[the-red-mafia]

The Swap

When Zaeor messes up a protection spell for the mansion, the Red Mafia's souls end up getting mixed up. Shenanigans ensue, but will they be able to return to normal?  And what will they find out about each other?

A/N: Our schedule got messed up, so we'll be posting a story next Saturday, 12/17, to get back on track.

MAJOR TW FOR SELF-HARM FOR THIS STORY

Also available on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/TheRedMafia

Next Update: [Updated] Word Count: 3804

2 weeks after “The Reunion”

“Ok so explain to me one more time what happened Zaeor?” The god sighed, looking around the living room at the three red mafia members in front of him. 

“My spell went wrong and instead of improving the mansion's defenses, it caused your souls to switch bodies. There’s not much more to explain.” Thorn’s body narrowed its eyes at him. 

“How exactly do you mess up a spell that badly?” 

“I don’t know Solana, I don’t know.”

“Well, I hope you have some way to fix it,” Maroon’s body chimed in, crossing their arms. 

“What Maroon- no, what Thorn said. Fuck, this is so confusing!” Thorn’s body, being controlled by Solana, yelled out, throwing its arms up in the air. 

“Careful Solana, don’t hurt my body,” Thorn scolded in Maroon’s voice. 

“I, for one, am very uncomfortable with this situation,” Velvet’s voice chimed in from on the couch, the slightest inkling of a British accent being heard. 

“We all are Maroon, we all are,” Zaeor muttered. Thorn stifled a laugh.

“I gotta admit, I’m glad Maroon’s accent translated to Velvet’s voice. British Velvet is very amusing,” they said, smirking. 

“Oh, don’t like the idea of Maroon smirking,” Solana muttered. Zaeor sighed and shook his head slightly. 

“I understand this situation is very stressful. I’m going back to my home to work on a solution, but I need you three to find Mad and Sol- Mad and Velvet and explain to them what’s going on.” The trio nodded and Zaeor waved his hand, disappearing into a cloud of shadows. 

“Solana, where were you headed?” Thorn asked. 

“To my room, I had just opened the door.”

“So that means Mad’s in Solana’s body?” Maroon began, “And Velvet’s in Mad?” Thorn’s body nodded. 

“I’m headed up to my room to get Mad, you two should go find Velvet. Gods know what chaos they’ll get into.” 

“It is so weird to see myself talk,” Thorn muttered, shuddering. Solana rolled his eyes. 

“I have to go see Mad, the robot, in my body. You’ll get over it.” 

Solana walked up the stairs and turned towards the West wing. 

“Mad?” They called out in Thorn’s voice, “You over here?” They quickly looked around the small indent in the wall where their door was and saw their body sitting on the floor in front of the door. As soon as they stopped their body looked up at them and let out a small shriek, causing Solana to jump a little as well. 

“Woah-”

“Who are you?!” Their voice demanded, sounding somewhat different than normal. Solana tipped her head, well, Thorn’s head in confusion. 

“Huh? It’s me, Solana. Well- I’m in Thorn’s body but that’s a whole different story.” 

“What?!”

“Look Mad, I understand that this has to be insanely disorientating-”

“Mad? Who’s Mad?” Solana’s eyes widened and they looked down at their body for multiple minutes. 

“If you’re not Mad, who are you?”

“My name is Dr. Eleanor Valentine, who are you?”

Velvet was not enjoying their current experience. 

Trust me, I’m not either, a voice, from what seemed to be the back of Velvet’s mind, replied. They groaned. 

“Shut up Mad!” Velvet shouted, the sound becoming slightly distorted due to Mad’s speakers. Velvet groaned again. 

This fucking sucks, she thought, I can’t feel any part of my body, my voice sounds like stupid fucking Mad’s, and the stupid robot can hear my fucking thoughts!

I’m not stupid, the voice answered, I’m a robot, that’s not possible. 

Shut up! 

“Velvet?” the faint voice of a non-British Maroon called out from down the hallway, “Are you over here?” 

“I don’t know, am I?” They shouted back sarcastically. 

“They’re over here Maroon!” 

Wait, wasn’t that Maroon speaking? Velvet thought, sitting Mad’s robot body down on the floor of the hall. 

If your soul got switched here it makes sense that everyone else's would've too, that’s probably someone else in Maroon’s body. 

You are so annoying, oh my gods. I can figure shit out on my own. 

` If you insist. Maroon quickly popped their head around the corner.

“Hey Velvie,” they said, smirking. 

“Shut up. Since when did you call me that?”

“Oh, it’s Thorn. Everyone’s souls have been swapped.”

“How the fuck-” Velvet’s body quickly joined Maroon’s and smiled at her. 

“Hey Velvet!” a slightly-British sounding Velvet said cheerfully. 

“That’s Maroon by the way,” Thorn clarified. 

“Yeah, I guessed that. Don’t do that with my body, that looks so fucking weird.”

“Do what?”

“Smile.”

“Calm down emo,” Thorn joked, “Why’s the screen acting like that?” Velvet tilted the T.V. head slightly. 

“What’s it doing? I can’t see it.” 

“It’s like…glitching. Almost like one of those old static TVs,” Maroon chimed in. 

What? It’s never done that before… Velvet cringed inside their mind. 

“Ok Maroon, I’m gonna need you to just. Stop talking.” 

“Sorry.”

“Stop.”

“Ah! Sorry-”

“Maroon!” Thorn let out a sigh. 

“Velvet, can you walk?” they asked, turning to look at the body of Mad.

“I make no promises. Mad’s limbs are so…lanky.”

My limbs are tactically designed, not “lanky”. 

“Shut up!” Velvet yelled, placing the robotic hands on the TV. Thorn raised an eyebrow. 

“Nobody said anything?” Velvet sighed and shook the TV. 

“Not you, Mad. They’re being fucking annoying.” Maroon and Thorn looked at each other and then back at Velvet. 

“Mad’s…still there?” Thorn said cautiously. 

“Depressingly.” 

I apologize. 

“But how’s that possible?” Maroon began, making Velvet cringe once more, “Mad’s supposed to be in Solana’s body?” 

“I can guarantee they are not,” Velvet muttered. Thorn narrowed Maroon’s eyes. 

“Then who’s in Solana’s body?”

“You’re…who?” Solana watched as their body narrowed its eyes at them. 

“Dr. Eleanor Valentine, Head of the AET Rescue and Reconnaissance Department.”

“Wait, what?”

“Answer my question.” Solana stared blankly at their body, blinking a few times before speaking. 

“Uhm,” they began, “My name is Solana Roison.”

“Where am I?”

“The Red Mafia’s HQ.”

“What is this ‘Red Mafia’ and why do I look like this? What happened to my ears?”

“Solana!” Velvet’s voice called out. Maroon quickly appeared in the hallway, panting. 

“That’s not…they’re not…” Solana rolled her eyes. 

“That’s not them? Yeah, I’m well aware.”

“What is going on?” Solana’s voice yelled, scooting back even more so their back was pushed against a wall, “Who’s that?” Solana sighed and turned back to face the scientist. 

“Dr. Valentine, everything is going to be ok. Please take a deep breath and calm down.”

“I am calm!”

“Wait,” Maroon mumbled, “Dr. Valentine, like-”

“Yes,” Solana whispered, “Doctor, there are a few things you should know. Firstly, you are in the year 2364.” Elanor’s eyes widened. 

“That’s…that’s not possible! Just this morning it was 2052!”

“What exactly do you remember?” Elanor appeared deep in thought for a few moments. 

“I was on a rescue mission with my rescue bot, M.M.A.D. or Mad for short. We were headed to investigate a spaceship crash and…” Solana’s face scrunched up and their body grabbed at its stomach, “I’m dead! Is this the afterlife? I-I-”

“Dr. Valentine, please take a deep breath,” Solana said, placing a reassuring hand on their shoulder. Elanor took a few deep breaths and placed his hands on his head. 

“I-I don’t understand,” The scientist mumbled. Maroon knelt down and looked at Elanor. 

“It’s a bit complicated, but I’ll try to explain it. Your physical body did die, but your soul remained and combined with Mad’s AI. This allowed them to gain sentience and live on. Now, all the souls in our group have been mixed up, which is why you’re an elf.”

“Mad…it has my soul?” Elanor mumbled, placing their hand over their chest. Maroon nodded, a slight smile on their face. 

“...Can I see them?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Solana chimed in, “Due to the soul swap, Mad’s body is inhabited by Velvet, one of our teammates. She can be a bit…difficult at times.” Elanor looked sad but nodded. 

“Ok, I understand.” Solana looked down at his body sympathetically.

“I could show you some photos of them on my cell phone? Their room is also nearby, would you like to walk over there?” Elanor’s face lit up and they quickly stood. 

“I’d love to!” the doctor said, before looking up at Solana, “...this body is quite short.”

“Hey!” Maroon also stood and smiled. 

“Well, I should go back to Thorn and Velvet,” they said, turning to leave. Solana grabbed their hand and spun Maroon back around. 

“Wait, give me a sec,” they said, “Dr. Valentine, could you hand me the cell phone in the left pocket of that coat you’re wearing?” Elanor slipped Solana’s hand into the pocket and quickly gave it over. 

“Here, and please, call me Eleanor.” Thorn’s head nodded and they turned back to Maroon, opening their phone. 

“Ok, do that again.”

“Do what?” 

“Smile, I want a picture.” Maroon tilted Velvet’s head in confusion. 

“Why?” 

“Blackmail.” Maroon sighed. 

“Velvet will kill me.”

“I’ll protect you, now smile.” Maroon rolled their eyes and smiled. Solana quickly snapped a photo and chuckled evilly. 

“Thank you for your assistance Maroon,” she said before turning back to Elanor, “Now, follow me…”

Thorn quickly glanced towards the sound of crashing. Mad’s body remained seated on the floor near the Madbay, but also turning towards the noise. 

“Maroon?” Thorn called out, “Is that you? You ok?” Ae heard a faint “Yeah” from the direction of the staircase. A few moments later, Velvet’s body popped up in the corridor. 

“What the fuck did you do to my shirt?” The robotic voice demanded. Maroon jumped a bit then looked down at Velvet’s outfit. The left arm of the turtleneck had been torn in half and a bruise had begun to form on Velvet’s left knee. The tear was on the top part of the sleeve, causing the fabric to droop down from about halfway up the forearm.

“I fell down the stairs and the shirt got stuck on one of the banisters, sorry.”

“It’s always my orange turtlenecks…” Velvet muttered, “Whatever, go change it.”

“Uhm-”

“There’s a shirt underneath the turtleneck, gods. Just grab the black hoodie off my bed and use that.”

“Can’t I just keep it on? It’s not that bad-” 

“No!” Velvet shouted hastily, earning confused looks from her teammates, “Just go change it, Maroon.” 

“Before you go,” Thorn chimed in, “What’s up with Mad?” 

“Oh, that. When Mad’s soul went to Solana’s body their creator seemingly regained consciousness? I’m not sure.”

Does that mean-

Mad. Shut.

“How is that possible?” Thorn asked. Maroon shrugged.

“No idea.” 

Elanor is upstairs?

Mad if you don’t shut the fuck up I will shut this body down. 

That would turn you off too.

So be it, if it shuts you up.

“So where are they now?” Thorn asked, leaning maroon’s body against a wall. 

“Going to Mad’s room so Elanor can look at some of Mad’s stuff.”

Tell them to look in the drawers, Elanor’s old journals are in there. 

“Mad said to tell them to look in some drawers, something something old notebooks,” Velvet relayed. Maroon nodded and gave them a thumbs-up, which caused Velvet to cringe once more. 

“Can Mad not speak?” Thorn asked. Velvet shrugged. 

“I’m sure they could, but I’m not letting them”

“Ah.”

Can you ask them why they didn’t bring Elanor here? Velvet mentally groaned, but repeated the question.

“With Velvet in control of Mad’s body, Solana decided that it wasn’t the best idea.”

“Hey!” Velvet protested, “I’m not that bad!” Thorn laughed. 

“You are that bad, Velvie.” Velvet kicked one of Mad's legs forward, connecting with the feet of Maroon’s body and causing Thorn to fall to the ground. 

“Velvet!” Maroon called out, extending a hand to help Thorn up. 

“What? He deserved it.”

You’re hurting Maroon’s body, not Thorn’s. Don’t hurt Maroon just because you’re mad at Thorn. Velvet paused for a second as Maroon helped their body stand once more. 

“...Sorry.” Thorn smirked. 

“Did Velvet Bolton just apologize to me?”

“Don’t get used to it, frūx.” 

“I’m honored.”

“Shut up.”

Maroon slowly opened the door to Velvet’s bedroom and walked inside. The teen shut the door and looked around for the black hoodie Velvet had instructed them to retrieve. Maroon walked over to the bed and picked up the fabric, smiling. In one swift motion, they began to pull the orange top off of the body. Maroon felt a slight pain in their left forearm as they threw the turtleneck onto Velvet’s bed. They looked down to see various red, irritated cuts in Velvet’s skin. Their eyes widened as they sat down on Velvet’s bed, placing the arm on their lap. 

“What the…” Maroon mumbled, looking down at the wounds. There seemed to be various specks of dirt in and around the cuts. Maroon wiped some of it away, wincing in pain. There were other ones too, although they seemed to be healed.

Where did Velvet get these wounds? Maroon thought, staring at the arm, And why are they so dirty? The teen winced in pain again as they moved the arm. 

“Ow,” they said quietly, looking at the cuts again, “Is Velvet in this pain all the time? Why haven’t they said anything?” It took them a couple of minutes to get the black hoodie onto their lap with the on-and-off pain from the wounds. They closed their eyes for a moment. When they opened them, however, they were no longer in Velvet’s grayed-out room. Instead, they were seated on the floor of the West corridor, where they had found Mad’s body. Zaeor was standing in front of them, smiling warmly. 

“Welcome back, Maroon,” the god said happily, holding a hand out to them. Maroon jumped slightly, but eventually took his hand and stood up. 

“So you found a way to switch us back? That was fast.” Zaeor laughed as the sounds of Mad booting up echoed around them. 

“We got lucky that the spellbook holding the original spell was aware of its similarity to another and took the proper precautions. There was a counterspell in the back of the book that I missed on my first read-through.”

“Ah.”

“Oh thank god,” Mad’s voice exclaimed. Zaeor and Maroon both turned to the robot, who was still sitting on the floor against the wall. Zaeor chuckled and extended a hand to them as well. 

“Hello Mad, how are you feeling?” Mad’s screen went blank and it slowly stood, avoiding Zaeor’s hand. The god frowned. 

“Mad, listen-” 

“I don’t want to talk to you right now, Zaeor,” they said in a monotone voice before turning to Maroon, “Are you ok, Maroon?” 

“Mhm, I’m fine. Are you alright?” A smiling emoticon overtook their screen.

“I’m fine! Sharing a body with Velvet is just…a bit jarring, that’s all. Especially when they’re freaked out, apparently.” Maroon gave them a confused look, which they responded to with a laugh.

“Velvet may try to appear stone-cold and such, but they got really freaked out by the body swap.”

“What about me?” Velvet’s voice called from the end of the hallway. The three people jumped slightly before turning to look at her. She had finished putting on the black hoodie and walked down the corridor towards them.

“Jeez, Velvet,” Zaeor muttered, “Didn’t even hear you come down the stairs.” They scoffed. 

“You’d think you of all people would be used to this by now.” 

“Yeah, that’s fair.” Velvet looked at their teammates, locking eyes with Maroon. Their expression remained blank, but it sent a chill down Maroon’s spine. The younger teen stared at her for a few seconds before smiling nervously. 

“H-how are you feeling, Velvet?” 

“Fine. I have to talk to you.” 

“A-alright.” A question mark appeared on Mad’s screen. 

“About what?” it asked. 

“None of your business, Mad,” Velvet replied, not breaking eye contact with Maroon, “By the way, you’re a snarky bastard when you don’t have your soul.” Mad laughed, the smiling emoticon returning to the screen. 

“I was told that a few times during my development.” 

“Snarky Mad?” Zaeor joked, “That I would like to see.” Mad shook their T.V. head at the god. 

“Unfortunately for you, Zaeor, I don’t plan on losing my soul anytime soon.” 

“Right, of course.” 

“If you two are done,” Velvet interjected, stepping forward and grabbing Maroon’s wrist, “We’re leaving. Mad, can you check on the others?” 

“Woah, wait, are you sho-”

“Shut it. And tell Thorn to leave us alone and not immediately come to find Maroon like a lost puppy. We’re gonna be a bit.” Mad let out a sigh and turned to watch the two of them walk in the opposite direction.

“I don’t think comparing Thorn to a puppy is fair.” 

“Woah, that’s crazy ‘cause I didn’t ask.” Zaeor stifled a laugh as the two teens disappeared. Mad turned on their heels and walked towards the stairs, ignoring him. Zaeor watched it leave before sighing. 

That’s going to be an issue.

Solana quickly blinked and looked down to see their own body below them. 

“Oh thank gods,” The elf muttered, sighing. Thorn’s body quickly opened its own eyes as well and smiled. 

“It worked!” ae said, looking at Solana. 

“Zaeor figured it out then?” 

“Mhm, how’d things go with Dr. Valentine?” Solana sighed again and picked a book up from beside Thorn. 

“I didn’t think a single human being could be that passionate about science but here we are.” Thorn laughed. 

“That bad huh?”

“It’s clear where Mad’s personality comes from now, that’s for sure.” Thorn stood up and held their hand out to Solana. 

“I suppose we should go meet up with the others then?” The elf groaned, taking his hand. 

“And deal with the tirade of Mad’s questions? No thanks, I’ll go hide outside.” 

Velvet and Maroon slowed near the fence that surrounded the mansion’s grounds. Not that it had anything to keep out, considering the planet was completely barren aside from the building. A few pieces of red dirt flew into the air when they stopped, swirling around them before settling back down. Velvet looked around them before crossing their arms and looking at Maroon. The younger teen grabbed the cuffs of their sweater sleeves, avoiding Velvet’s gaze. She raised an eyebrow. 

“Well? I know you saw them.” Maroon let out a nervous chuckle, still staring at the ground. 

“Y-yeah, I did.” Velvet sighed, dropping their arms. 

“I’m not mad, Maroon. I told you to go change anyways, I knew what I was risking.” Maroon finally looked at them. 

“I get why you wanted me to now,” they muttered. Velvet laughed and leaned against the white fence. 

“Yea, it was my only option. Didn’t want Mad to see them.” Maroon joined them at the fence. The two of them sat in silence for a minute or so before Maroon dared to speak up again. 

“S-so,” they stuttered out, “Where did they come from?” Velvet looked up at them. 

“You couldn’t tell?” Maroon shook their head. 

“Was I supposed to be able to?” Velvet stared at them for a few seconds before laughing again. 

“I should’ve guessed,” they mumbled, slightly shaking their head, “In that case, they’re just battle scars. A few of them reopened this morning and I haven’t had the time to patch them up yet, with the mission and then the swap and all.” Maroon looked towards the ground and held their breath. 

“But there were so many on just your arm,” they said quietly, “Who attacked your arm that much?” Velvet was quiet for a moment, looking back at the ground. Maroon turned their head towards them, watching. After a minute or so, Velvet sighed.

“...myself?” she muttered quietly. Maroon’s eyes widened. 

“...what do you mean?” 

“Listen, Maroon,” Velvet stated, pushing herself off of the fence, “You can’t tell anyone. Not Mad, not Thorn, no one.” 

“When you said yourself, you didn’t mean-” 

“Maroon.” The two made eye contact again. Velvet stared down at Maroon since they were still leaning on the fence. After a few seconds, Maroon blinked and looked away. 

“This really isn’t any of your business,” Velvet began, crossing their arms, “If I had my way, you wouldn’t even know and we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“Does anyone else know?” Maroon asked, still looking away. Velvet paused for a moment. 

“Zaeor does, technically. Although he thinks it's not a problem anymore.”

“But it is,” the younger teen mumbled, standing up. Velvet narrowed her eyes at them. 

“I guess. I don’t consider it a problem, but sure.”

“Velvet-”

“This isn’t something you have to fix, Maroon,” Velvet stated coldly, “I don't want you to get it into your head that you have to help, like you do with other people. Just…forget you ever saw them. It’ll be easier for both of us that way.” Maroon looked at them. On the surface, their expression was still blank. However, their eyes were softer than they had been before, in an almost pleading manner. Maroon was quiet for a moment before sighing. 

“Alright, I understand.” 

“Hey, you two!” a voice shouted from the door into the mansion. Velvet groaned and spun around, a glare on their face. 

“Gods, you just don’t know how to listen to instructions!” Thorn laughed as he walked up. 

“No, I just don’t care about yours.” Maroon smiled at Thorn when they stopped in front of them. 

“How are you doing, mushroom?” they asked, grabbing their hand. 

“I’m good.”

“What were you two talking about, anyways?”

“None of your business, Thorn,” Velvet snapped, “Which is why I told you to wait. Not everything concerns you, asshole.”

“Well, considering this involves leaving Maroon alone with you,” Thorn hissed, “I couldn’t, in my good conscience, let that stand.” 

“Whatever, we’re basically done anyway,” Velvet turned back to make eye contact with Maroon, “This stays between us.” 

“I know.”

“I mean it.”

“So do I.” After a few seconds of silence, Velvet sighed. 

“Okay, have fun doing whatever it is you two do,” she said, “I’m going to try and catch Zaeor before he leaves.” 

“Oh yeah, he told me to tell you to find him after you were done,” Thorn called out as they began to walk away, “Guess that works out.” Velvet turned so that they were walking backward, facing the duo.

“He let you interrupt us?” 

“He couldn’t really stop me, to be honest.”

“Of course,” she said through gritted teeth, turning back around, “Whatever, I’ll go talk to him.” Maroon watched as they slightly adjusted their left sleeve and walked into the house. Thorn looked at them, a frown on aer face. 

“What was that all about?” it asked, grabbing Maroon’s other hand. Maroon made eye contact with them before letting out a small chuckle. 

“Nothing you need to worry about.”

[ethrenisnotthehero]

@hogwartsmystory is a predator (final)

If you haven’t read the other parts of this callout, I encourage you to start here. As in both previous posts, the normal tags are not included in order to allow this to reach as many people as possible. Potential triggers are listed below, and the main content is hidden to keep sensitive individuals from being unintentionally exposed.

TW: Pedophilia, Abuse, Gaslighting, Sexual Assault, Self Harm, Suicide, NSFW Topics, Faked Illness, Faked Mental Illness, Faked Death, Victim Blaming

Originally, I intended to craft this final part to you, the reader, as an emotional appeal. To be wholly honest, there’s only so much evidence that can be utilized without either forcing Jill to relive unnecessary trauma or exposing deeply intimate or personal parts of her life. Until now, everything I’ve told you and everything I’ve shown you is what was enough to convince me when Jill first reached out to me. If you, the reader, don’t believe the factual information that’s been presented so far, then I don’t think that you will. If you, the reader, believe Jill and her story, then no further evidence is going to magically make her story more true.

However, I don’t have to. Instead, I can let the friends-- the family--that Ren created on his website speak for themselves, and show you with their own testimony just the kind of person he was. Jill wasn’t the only person that Ren hurt. Jill wasn’t even the only person Ren preyed on as a sexual predator. Many people on staff, and many people outside of it, knew Ren and grew to have what they thought was a close relationship with him. People regarded him as someone to look up to, to find comfort in, to aspire after, to lean on; people thought of him as a friend and a hero in his community.

On April 12, 2021, at 9:57 AM Greenwhich Mean Time, the current administrators of Advanced Scribes issued a statement addressing Ren’s actions and his faked death. An additional announcement was made the following day. While the announcements themselves and the replies (including moderator statements) are publicly available, I have saved a print-to-PDF versions on Google for you to browse at your leisure. 

I intentionally waited until the initial panic and outrage died out a little to let the most important statements come to light. Included in the PDF are sentiments that I personally thought were the most important sentiments; edits have been made and pages have been deleted, so you can see the current state of the conversations by visiting them directly. You can find the first discussion at https://advanced-scribes.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=42100#p1454263 and the second discussion at https://advanced-scribes.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=42107#p1454361.

Before you continue reading, please look over the statements and replies. The words of former staff former friends say more than I can ever hope to about Ren and the kind of reality that he stood for. Additionally, Jill herself has added to the conversation (username Rakuen), so you can read a bit from her perspective by looking into these announcements. After you’ve taken a look, continue below and I will sum up my final thoughts on this predator and his legacy.

Advanced Scribes • Our Statement (PDF)

Advanced Scribes • Change (PDF)

The Act of Grooming, Part 3: Entrapment

One of the reasons that predators get away with their crimes for so long is because they trap their victims. When they gain access to and successfully lure in their prey, they then engage in entrapment behavior to separate victims from other people and build reliance. The reason why kids are so prone to predation is because of how vulnerable they are. Young people just want to belong. They just want to have community, security, and affection. When they can’t get those things in their lives, they seek it out and take it where they can get it even when the situation is obviously bad. Kids can’t be held accountable for being smart because they’re kids. Jill was vulnerable. She wanted belonging and support. She fell into Ren’s lures, and he trapped her. He used his affection as a tool to solicit sexual favors and pictures from her, but never shared his face with her. She was always chasing his love, and all the while he was simultaneously preying on other individuals in the community. For God’s sake, this man had a selfie thread where underage girls would send pictures of themselves publicly on the site for him to look at, and he even intentionally disabled the website’s COPPA features.

Before Jill, there was Buttercup. Buttercup was also an admin, and she was also 13 when she met Ren. While Ren was a minor during he and Buttercup’s relationship, his behavior with her was just as predatory and Buttercup attempted to warn Jill via PM before she ended her relationship with him.

The picture he sent Buttercup wasn’t even him.

The entire time that Ren was convincing Jill that Buttercup was evil, and jealous, and a spiteful, hateful person, he was manipulating her the same way he was manipulating Jill. Ren is a predator who knows what he’s doing; he always has. He draws in his victims and makes everyone hate them so that he’s the only person they have. He makes them so desperate for his approval that they let him screw them over time and time again, and for what? Just to see his face. Think about what you read. He didn’t just do this to Jill and Buttercup. He did this to every person he cheated with or got close enough to get a grip on. Even if he didn’t sexually exploit someone, he emotionally did. An entire community of people suffered through this over and over and over again. Read the statements again. If you only read the live version, read the PDF. 

I also want you to bear in mind that everyone on staff was equally a victim as they were an enabler. It doesn’t erase their responsibility, but their roles in this story or more nuanced than “moderator bad, burn the witch!” Some of Ren’s supporters were as young or younger than Jill when they met him. The two people most notorious for standing at his side right now were both “rewarded” with a relationship with him in the fallout of his faked death.  

At some point, this man looked at his behavior and not only decided that he didn’t need to take responsibility, but that his victims daring to try and claim some kind of ownership over their own story was a personal affront to him. 

Ren is a monster of his own creation. He chose to be that monster again, and again, and again.

What makes his enablers equally to blame is when they became adults and made a conscious choice to ignore what was happening, which brings us to the next topic.

Finally... How Old Was Jill?

Despite everything I’ve said and shared so far, I still get this question in my inbox.

How old was Jill? Did she lie about her age? Is she free of guilt because she was a kid? Did he know how old she was? Was she legal in her country?

I gave you all everything I had. There were some things I just couldn’t confirm because there was no proof either way. However, all of that changed when the announcements were released. I now know exactly how old Jill was when they began dating, exactly how old she was when people knew about their relationship, and even that Ren was public with all of this information. I also know that staff knew everything, and chose to do nothing.

As you can see in the screenshots above of Buttercup’s message, it was sent on Jun 17, 2015. At that time, Jill was 14 years old. By Buttercup’s estimation, they had been dating for around a few months, which is how I was able to discern the previous exact age of 14 years old at the time they began dating.

However, Ren himself refutes that fact in a Valentine’s post for Jill. As pointed out in the “Our Statement” thread, the post that user amnesia. references includes very sexual and disgustingly graphic descriptions of Ren’s activity with her. It also says this:

As per the timestamp of this particular post (as seen below), Jill was 16 at the time. Ren, a man claiming to be twenty-five years old at the time, was proud to admit that he had been with Jill since she was 13.

You can view the full PDF of this post to see what else he said here, but please be warned that his descriptions are NSFW and absolutely disgusting. 

Warm Fuzzies Post (PDF)

No adult should talk about a kid like that. In the statements, several staff members admit that they knew that the two were dating when she was 16, and that it grossed them out. But none of them did anything. To amnesia.’s credit, they claim they tried to pursue legal action but found no viable routes. 

From the discussions and statements, we can discern five things:

1. Jill was 13 when she started dating Ren. 2. She did not lie about her age. 3. Ren did not lie about her age. 4. Ren knew how old she was. 5. Staff knew how old she was.

Jill’s feelings and her opinions on staff and their behavior are separate from my own. She does not share my beliefs here, and I need to make it very clear that what I’m saying next is entirely my own opinion.

To everyone who was staff at that time: shame on you. It’s one thing to be a victim yourself and to not understand how or when to stand up for what’s right, especially when you’re young; it’s another to become an adult and to have let something like this permeate your legacy and your community for all this time. From what I understand, none of you are completely innocent in this. Ren wasn’t secret, he was loud and proud and he didn’t give a shit what anyone thought. Everyone who was an adult then and is an adult now shares some responsibility for that. Those of you who mean your apologies, thank you, but those of you who are using this event as a stepping stone to make that website into your own personal playground know who you are. Stop. There’s an entire generation of kids between AS and CS who have lost years of their childhoods to this shit and the only right thing at this point would be to turn the site over to the police so that Ren can answer for his crimes the right way.

To everyone else: protect the people around you. People like Ren don’t think about how other people think or feel. They don’t care who gets hurt or who they trample under their feet. Look around at your community, and ask yourself if those who interact with you know that you are safe. Inevitably, someone is going to get hurt. Are you the kind of person that they can come to when it happens, or are you the kind of person who will turn your head away? 

Be the person that everyone knows they can come to, because, eventually, someone’s going to need you.

[mrlnsfrt]

Elijah and The Widow

This post is part two of our Becoming Elijah series. You can read and listen to part 1 here.

Brief Review

If you were simply reading the Bible from Genesis to Revelation in order the first time you would become aware of Elijah would be in 1 Kings 17. He bursts into the story unannounced with a message of judgment from God. This message was also a direct challenge to Baal, the god many were beginning to worship who supposedly brought rain.

Elijah faithfully delivers the short message and God tells him to run and hide by a brook. We do not know how long Elijah was hiding but during that time he was fed by ravens twice a day and drank water from the brook. As time goes by, days, weeks, months, years perhaps, the water level at the brook continually drops, making it increasingly difficult for Elijah to drink from it. Eventually, the brook dries up because there has been no rain in the land.

Emotional Impact

I invite you to place yourself in the shoes of Elijah for a moment. Imagine being faithful to God and doing exactly as you’re told, only to have life continually become more and more difficult. Elijah finds himself hiding in the wilderness, in isolation because he is a wanted man. We do not know how long he was living by the brook or how comfortable his accommodations were. I imagine they were not the most comfortable he had ever experienced in his life. Life was hard. I cannot imagine what it must be like to be isolated for long periods of time. I know it is good to spend time alone in nature, but I have to admit I do not find it easy to do.

However, Elijah is not the first or the last person God called or caused to spend some time in a wilderness. Moses fled from Egypt and spend 40 years caring for sheep (Acts 7:23-30, Exodus 3:1). David spent years in the wilderness as well, caring for sheep (1 Samuel 16:11-13; 17:15, 20); and avoiding King Saul (1 Samuel 22:1-2, 23:14; 24:1, etc.). In the New Testament, we have Jesus being led by the Spirit into the wilderness (Matthew 4:1; Mark 1:12; Luke 4:1). Apparently, God uses wilderness experiences to equip His servants for service. The question then becomes are we willing to go through that training. When God sends us to the wilderness, do we spend time there learning what God wants to teach us, or do we give up and walk away?

How often are we in a hurry to do something great for God and in that hurry we fail to be properly equipped for the task He is calling us to do? Could we be struggling today because we avoided the wilderness experience, or perhaps are we currently living our wilderness experience?

Maybe COVID has caused you to feel like you’re all alone, so even though you may be living in a city, in your own home, you feel alone, isolated, and abandoned by God?

Is God trying to teach you something? Can God bring some good out of this situation? What can we learn from our wilderness experience? Instead of becoming bitter and angry towards God, what if we take this moment to reconnect with God and more intentionally seek His will?

Spending time in the wilderness is not comfortable, but it can be very beneficial for our souls. Taking a break, slowing down, having to deal with the discomfort and challenges, and hardships that accompany being in the wilderness can be a blessing in the life lessons we learn and the insights we gain about God and life. Our time in the wilderness can be a time of learning and growth even if it seems like a waste of time.

But how long do we have to stay in the wilderness? God lets us know.

The Word of the LORD came

Then the word of the Lord came to him, saying, “Arise, go to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and dwell there. See, I have commanded a widow there to provide for you.” - 1 Kings 17:8-9 NKJV

We are tempted to believe that God is either not paying attention or that He does not have a plan simply because He does not make all the details of His plan available to us from the very beginning. God told Elijah to go hide by the Brook Cherith and Elijah obeyed. But God did not tell Elijah how long he was supposed to stay there. Maybe Eliah thought he would be there the whole time, maybe Elijah did not expect the drought to last as long as it had. Perhaps Elijah was tempted to believe God had forgotten about him, except he knew that God remembered because his food was provided twice a day every day. How would you have felt if you were in a similar situation? On the one hand, there is a clear sign that God is providing for your needs, in Elijah’s case the ravens bringing him food each day. On the other hand, there is a problem you see looming on the horizon, and you feel like God is not doing anything about it. In Elijah’s case the water level of the brook continues to drop, every day it gets more difficult for him to drink from the brook until it’s dry.

Only then the word of the LORD comes to Elijah.

You could argue that God didn’t tell Elijah anything earlier because it was not like Elijah could do anything about it anyway. But are we comfortable with that? Can our faith handle not knowing all the details? Can our faith survive waiting until the last minute before God reveals to us what the next step should be? Can we trust in God solely based on what He has already done for us, based on what He is doing for us? Is our faith strong enough to survive not knowing everything?

I am not talking about blind faith. I am talking about an informed faith, but a faith that does not have all the details concerning everything. Personally, I find it challenging. It is humbling when I get asked questions and I have to say that I don’t know, that it’s unclear, or that the Bible is silent on it. But I still find this healthier than coming up with personal theories and reading them into the biblical text or even into the will of God. By this I mean I would rather say I don’t know than to say that my personal theory is what God is going to do, or is doing when God has not made it clear. I hope we can all learn from Elijah’s story so far that sometimes we don’t know the details until it’s time to act on them. Until God makes things clearer we continue to faithfully follow what He has revealed. We should be very careful about making prophetic proclamations about end-time events, especially when we share personal views as if they were biblical truths.

Also, if you ever talk with me and I agree that your scenario is a possibility, please don’t tell others that I agree with your view, I only agree that it is a possibility, but there are many possible ways that the future will take place. Instead of focusing on that the next step will be one day in the future, how about we focus on what God has called us to do today, this week, this year?

Elijah remained at the brook until God told him to leave.

Zarephath

Zarephath was a small town in Phoenicia, located between Tyre and Sidon. Interestingly, the text mentions that Zeraphath belonged to Sidon, this is significant because Jezebel was a Sidonian princess (1 Kgs 16:31) which means that her father was the ruler of the territory where Zarephath was located. So God told Elijah, who was running away from Jezebel, to go hide in her home country, a land under the control of her father, a land where its inhabitants officially worshipped Baal.

I imagine Elijah feeling relief that God was finally revealing to him His plans and what he should do next. I also imagine Elijah wondering if it would be better to hang out by the dry brook for a bit longer. How does the expression go, out of the frying pan and into the fire? That might have been how Elijah felt at first. But don’t worry, it gets worse.

A Widow

Not only is God telling Elijah to travel to a gentile land where Baal worship is the official religion, but God is also telling Elijah that a widow will provide for him. Widows constituted some of the poorest most helpless people in society. Most of the time widows were not able to earn a respectable living with begging and prostitution generally being their only source of livelihood.

Another detail that caught my attention is the fact that God knew the widows who lived outside the borders of Israel. If God had commanded this widow living in Zarephath to provide for Elijah could this be evidence that God cares for everyone? I would not have expected God to use a poor widow from a pagan nation to provide for one of the greatest prophets of the Old Testament. I imagine this widow must have been seeking God, and God revealed Himself to her in some way and now God was sending her a prophet. I love how God takes this person that most would have considered forsaken and cursed by God and uses her to provide for His prophet.

I love how God uses people who don’t have it all together, people who are struggling and makes them a part of His plan to save the world.

Elijah Obeys

So he arose and went to Zarephath. And when he came to the gate of the city, indeed a widow was there gathering sticks. And he called to her and said, “Please bring me a little water in a cup, that I may drink.” - 1 Kings 17:10 NKJV

I am amazed by Elijah’s faithful obedience. Elijah does not question God or complain even though his life keeps getting more difficult at each step. It seems to me that all Elijah has been getting for his faithfulness is more challenges. But he simply obeys God and sure enough as he comes to the gate of the city he sees a widow. I am not sure about Elijah, but maybe many of us would expect this to be a wealthy widow, maybe she has a nice house with a view, a pool, a well-watered garden with lots of fruits and veggies growing. Maybe after roughing it by the brook Elijah had earned a well-deserved vacation. Now he will likely get to finally sleep in a bed and have a roof over his head and he eat something that was not brought by birds. I would be excited to join civilization again, or I would have been if it had been a city that belonged to Sidon. I would have been constantly worried if anyone had figured out that I was the prophet that queen Jezebel wanted dead. What if a neighbor decided to collect on a possible bounty that could have been set for me? Or what if someone simply wanted to get on the good side of the king by helping his daughter?

I don’t really know what Elijah was thinking, but I like to place myself in his shoes and try to imagine how difficult this could have been for him. What I do know is that Elijah calls to the widow and asks for water, which I imagine must have been really valuable at this time. I bet people were being very careful with their water usage during this drought.

Bread, please!

And as she was going to get it, he called to her and said, “Please bring me a morsel of bread in your hand.” - 1 Kings 17:11 NKJV

I can imagine Elijah asking a widow for water, she does not say a word but goes to get the water, then he interrupts her to ask for bread. I don’t know about you, but I struggle a bit with asking for help. I don’t mind asking for help to help someone else. If someone needs help I don’t mind asking others to join me in helping someone else. But when it comes to asking for myself, I hate it, many times I would rather go without than bother someone else with my needs. I believe this probably stems from pride, and God has been helping me with this by repeatedly placing me in situations where I need to ask others for help. But still, I struggle with the idea of asking a poor widow not just for water but also for bread. Especially in the middle of a terrible drought. Everyone is struggling. Brooks are drying up, crops are failing, animals are dying, how could I ask a poor widow for water and bread?

No Bread

So she said, “As the Lord your God lives, I do not have bread, only a handful of flour in a bin, and a little oil in a jar; and see, I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it, and die.” - 1 Kings 17:11-12 NKJV

The widow humbly informs Elijah of her plans for the future which consist of baking one last meal for herself and her son and slowly starving to death. If she was lucky she would not have to witness the death of her son, but on the other hand, would she really want her son to have to watch her die? This is just a terrible situation regardless of how you look at it.

I imagine Elijah saying, “Sorry, never mind. I must have confused you with someone else. Is there another widow in this town, someone with a big house, perhaps a pool and lots of delicious food?

On a more serious note, why would God ask a widow who does not have enough even for herself to provide for His prophet? After all, is it not God’s job to provide for His servants?

I believe the lesson here is that God prefers to work through us to bless each other and He can use anyone, even the poorest among us. Even the person who barely has enough to survive can be used by God to bless others. We are blessed as we go out of our way to help others. This blessing is not only for the wealthy, it is not only for those who have access to more resources. We are all called to do something. Don’t count yourself out simply because you don’t have as much as someone else. You can also help. When God calls on you to help He will bless you in order for you to be a blessing to others.

Do not fear

And Elijah said to her, “Do not fear; go and do as you have said, but make me a small cake from it first, and bring it to me; and afterward make some for yourself and your son. For thus says the Lord God of Israel: ‘The bin of flour shall not be used up, nor shall the jar of oil run dry, until the day the Lord sends rain on the earth.’ ” - 1 Kings 17:13-14 NKJV

The widow has legitimate reasons to be concerned, but Elijah tells her to not fear, she is to obey God and trust Him to provide for all her needs. If he makes God a priority in her life, she does not have to be afraid. When we find ourselves in God’s will, we have nothing to fear. We minister not because we have an abundance but rather because God calls us to. We step out in faith to bless those around us, trusting that as we do the will of God, He will take care of our needs.

He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it. - Matthew 10:39 NKJV

Jesus makes it clear, we find life by giving it up. I don’t think He means reckless living or suicide, but rather a life where the focus has shifted from self to other. A life where obeying God is more important than my selfish desires. This is not an easy life, but it is the only life worth living.

If I truly believe that God is my provider, that He not only created me but also redeemed me. If I believe that God loves me beyond anything I could ever hope to comprehend, and if I believe that God calls me to bless those around me, why should I be afraid of stepping out in faith? If God is calling me to help others learn about Him why should I be afraid?

Trust

So she went away and did according to the word of Elijah; and she and he and her household ate for many days. The bin of flour was not used up, nor did the jar of oil run dry, according to the word of the Lord which He spoke by Elijah. - 1 Kings 17:15-16NKV

"While Jezebel feeds the prophets of Baal in Israel (1 Kgs 18:19), the Zarepthathite widow feeds Elijah, the prophet of Yahweh, in Sidon (1 Kgs 17:13–16)"  -- The Lexham Bible Dictionary.

We need to make sure we are following the will of God and not the will of humans, our own, or our spiritual leaders’. Spend time in prayer, read the Bible, but once you become convinced of what God is calling you to do, go for it trusting God to provide for you. Trust in God and live out your faith in service for those around you. Do not be afraid of ministry. Do not be afraid of helping others. Do not be afraid of sharing the love of God. Trust in God, don’t be afraid, and do what He is calling you to do.

Let your love for God guide your life, not fear. Do not focus on the problems, and reasons for you to not get involved, look to God, claim His promises, do not be afraid, trust in God, and get involved in service for the benefit of those around you.

God is faithful.

You do not have to be afraid.

[rptv1]

John Lydon opens up about devotion to wife of 40 years and her Alzheimer's battle: 'Once I make the commitment, it’s forever'

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/john-lydon-opens-up-about-devotion-to-wife-of-40-years-and-her-alzheimers-battle-195801788.html

Lyndsey Parker  -  Editor in Chief, Yahoo Music  -  June 12, 2020

____________________________________________________

This week, John Lydon of Sex Pistols/Public Image Ltd. fame revealed in a heartbreaking interview with Britain’s The Mirror that he has become the primary caregiver for his wife of more than 40 years, Nora Forster, who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.

“I am her full-time carer and I won’t let anyone mess up with her head,” Lydon said, stressing that he has no intentions to ever put her in a care facility. “For me, the real person is still there. That person I love is still there every minute of every day, and that is my life.” The punk icon, formerly known as Johnny Rotten, added that Alzheimer’s experts have been amazed with how Forster still remembers him, saying "a bit of love goes a long way.”

While the brief and doomed relationship between the Sex Pistols’ Sid Vicious and punk scenester Nancy Spungen became the subject of the acclaimed biopic Sid and Nancy in 1986, it’s the romance between John and Nora that is truly fascinating. Lydon met Forster, a German publishing heiress 15 years his senior, when he was in his early twenties; Forster was the mother of Ari Up, the teenage frontwoman of another pioneering British punk band, the Slits. The couple married in 1979 and have been devoted to each other ever since. In 2000, Lydon and Forster became the legal guardians of Ari's twin sons, and they became the guardians of Ari's third child in 2010 after Ari died of breast cancer.

John Lydon and Nora Forster 2011. (Photo: WireImage)

-

In 2015 during a sit-down interview with Yahoo Entertainment, Lydon spoke about the many doubters who had assumed that his relationship Forster would never last this long. “Well, good luck to people that are flippant about their relationships and their responsibility towards their fellow human beings, but people like me and Nora, we spend the time and take the effort to understand each other,” he said. “And that then it becomes a life’s work in progress. And for my way of living, that’s how it want it to be. I don’t take commitments lightly. I don’t treat fellow human beings as tools of my trade. So there you go — I’m a loyalist at heart.”

Lydon further explained to Yahoo Entertainment that when the Sex Pistols first exploded onto the scene, shortly before he met Forster, he had no interest in the casual groupie sex that became available with his newfound fame. “I started in the wonderful world of rock ‘n’ roll, and quite frankly, sex was thrown at you left, right, and center. No, it wasn’t for me… I don’t like that flippancy. I grew up having childhood illnesses, and somehow it left me feeling that there was something wrong with me,” Lydon said, referring to a battle with spinal meningitis at age 7 that caused him to spend a year in the hospital and to suffer from hallucinations, nausea, headaches, intermittent comatose states, and severe memory loss for four years.

John Lydon and Nora Forster in the late '70s. (Photo: Fin Costello/Redferns)

-

“I had to come to grips with that very quickly once I was thrown onto a stage and into the public limelight — I was aware of people that were attracted to me, but not because they knew anything at all about me. It was the fame and fortune. And those kind of people, I don’t want around me,” Lydon told Yahoo. “That’s not me being moralistic. … It’s a sense of values. I have to feel that person respects me for who and what I really am. And I hope it’s vice versa. I’m like this with friends. I’m like this with my own family members. And once I make the commitment, it’s forever.”

Lydon has also spoken to The Guardian about his devotion to his wife, saying, “I have never been unfaithful, though I had plenty of opportunity in the Sex Pistols. We both played the field before we met and found it very wanting.” He also discussed their immediate, intense connection despite their differences in age and backgrounds: “It’s love, you know. I’ve always loved that woman. And she knows it. When we met we didn’t expect to get on. We’d both been told the other was a bad ‘un. But blimey. Sparks flew. It was instant attraction. And that’s never gone. I never expected to feel like that. I never thought I was in any way attractive. Or anyone’s idea of a good date.”

Lydon added, “I can’t think of a better woman on God’s earth than Nora. If we ceased to function as a couple tomorrow there would be no one else. Not ever. I mean it. … The idea of losing Nora is unbearable. If one of us goes before the other it will be murder for the survivor. She is older than me but women live longer, so we should die at exactly the same time. That would be perfect.”

John Lydon and Nora Forster (Photo: Fin Costello/Redferns)

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #12- Gay Rights: the Movie

Finally finished with our franchise obligations! Let’s get back to the main story.

Those are some ominous ellipses. Almost like something bad is going to happen!

Let’s take a look at Cover A for this issue.

When this was released to the general public, alongside the synopsis that stated the Lost Lighters were going to run into a group of Decepticons, a lot of people thought we’d be seeing them meet the Scavengers. This isn’t the case, and that’s not Fulcrum. It’s some other K-Con, one that has purple in his color scheme.

Our story opens up with a narrative framing device:

Welcome to “Before & After”, one of the more ambitious issues of MTMTE in terms of storytelling. Roberts really likes bouncing between scenes and POVs, and he’s really indulging that here.

Rodimus and crew have loaded up on one of the Lost Light’s scouting ships to check in on a planet called Temptoria. Whirl’s leading all the guys in the front in a war cry that wouldn’t be out of place in Hollywood’s version of the Vietnam war, while Brawn demonstrates how to not properly handle a gun. Rodimus tries to explain what exactly they’ll be doing, but no one’s listening, feeding off of the chaotic energy. The back seat isn’t quite as rowdy.

Oh, Ambulon’s here? That’s got to be awkward. And Perceptor’s looking mighty cross about having to pick up a gun again. Isn’t he supposed to be retired from being a science sniper?

Rodimus finally gets everyone to settle down long enough to explain the situation, though not without a little jargon mixup.

Basically, Ultra Magnus went down to Temptoria while the “Shadowplay” story was being told, and found out that the organic populace had been enslaved by a group of Decepticons, and, more importantly, the sovereign agreement that the planet had with Cybertron’s been violated. Also, these guys might have been the one’s who kidnapped the Circle of Light. You remember those guys, right? The guys who were supposed to be in the 2012 Annual, but they weren’t, and Drift got really mad about it.

Rodimus wraps up the briefing with a “’Til all are one!” And we cut over to see what Swerve and Tailgate are up to. Tailgate seems to be a little nervous, not the type to enjoy waiting, but Swerve seems to be doing just fine. Why is that, exactly?

Even if Rung’s still a steamed side dish of a vegetable, he’s still here, in a way. And good on Swerve for not assuming Tailgate can visualize in the same way he can. Aphantasia is more common than one might think.

Escapism is an interesting way of dealing with your problems, but I don’t know enough about wartime psychiatry to know if this is something that would actually be considered a viable solution or not.

Oh, now that I’ve said it, I’ve got the research itch.

Later, later.

Anyway, Tailgate gives it a spin, and his happy place is surprisingly domestic for such a seasoned professional.

Pipes, it’s a clear glass, it’s not hiding anything from you.

Speaking of Pipes, he’s seated next to Hound, as they discuss what happened to Red Alert. Or, rather, the cover story that’s been fed to the rest of the crew by Rodimus, which is that the engine room pretty much attacked him. This is how ghost stories get started.

Trailcutter’s gotten some guns installed in his legs, because he’s a hypocrite.

Over with Chromedome and Rewind, there’s trouble in paradise, as they’re having a lovers’ spat. Chromedome’s giving Rewind the silent treatment, and Rewind’s having none of it. What exactly are they fighting about? We don’t get to know about that yet, but it’s digging up other issues, like Chromedome going back on his promise to stop injecting. The only thing keeping this from becoming a total meltdown is Whirl can-canning through the door to kidnap Rewind, so he can film Whirl getting in the zone before the fight. Whirl’s having a great time. This is probably the first time they’ve gotten to fight something since the Lost Light took off, and he’s all about it.

Rewind’s dragged away, and Chromedome just lets it happen, because he’s feeling cross. It’s good to take a moment to cool off, but I’m not quite sure this was the best time or way for it to happen.

Meanwhile, on the Temptorian surface, Blip the Decepticon, who is likely the dirtiest son of a gun we’ve run into so far, is asked to take a look at the monitor by a guy who sounds exactly like Megatron. It doesn’t particularly matter which Megatron, because comics are not an audio-based medium, so you can pick whichever one you like best. What’s on the monitor does not please Blip in the slightest.

I feel like maybe having guys who don’t turn into flying machines jump out of the bottom of the shuttlecraft isn’t the greatest tactical thinking, but I’m sure everything will be okay. Brawn’s got a gun, maybe he’ll figure out how to rocket-jump before he hits terminal velocity.

Then the narrative jumps to after the fight, as the ship flies away from the scene, and Chromedome isn’t happy. It’s for a different reason than earlier, though.

Man, Pipes just can’t win, can he?

Ambulon remembers that he is, in fact, a medical professional, and starts working on Rewind, while Chromedome tries to ask Swerve just what the hell happened. Swerve’s having his own issues, however.

I’d nearly forgotten they had skeletons.

On the production side of this issue, we’ve got two artists: there’s our usual guy, Alex Milne on the “Before” sections, and Brandon Cahill on the “After”. Cahill’s other Transformers work includes The Transformers (2009) and the sister series to MTMTE, Robots in Disguise. Outside of the franchise, he’s worked on several Marvel pieces, including writing Sable & Fortune and Legion of Monsters. Unlike a lot of the alternate artists we’ve seen for the series, Cahill won’t be a one-and-done; we’ll see his art again in Dark Cybertron, Season 2 of MTMTE, and even Lost Light.

Getting back to the story, we’ve jumped back to the point in the battle where everyone’s hit the ground and are just wailing on each other. Tailgate and Swerve watch the chaos unfold, as Ultra Magnus more or less takes on a platoon of Decepticons.

Drift’s having a great time, as he Naruto runs through the enemy, slashing as he goes with a big ol’ smile on his face. He stabs a guy in the back of the head who was trying to grapple with Rodimus, thus interrupting the little dialogue they had going on. Rodimus is vaguely upset that his moment was cut short.

In the “After”, the shuttle’s landed back on the Lost Light, and Chromedome rushes out with Rewind in his arms to find First Aid with a motorized stretcher. He was hoping for Ratchet- he wants only the best for his shnookums. As they run Rewind down to the medibay, Chromedome starts listing off his allergies- which include ultraviolet light, something we know reveals mnemosurgery scars. This is a holdover from a dropped plot point I’ll cover at a later time; as it stands in the canon narrative, Rewind’s just got an allergy to the friggin’ sun.

Back at the shuttle, Tailgate starts dragging Cyclonus down the gangplank. Oh, hell. You know it’s a bad situation when the guy who literally couldn’t die for six million years is out of commission.

Spoke and Lockstock are a bit of a gag- they always manage to get their asses kicked, but everyone on the ship really likes them. They will never be seen on-panel, and have no character designs.

Over in the medibay, history is being made.

Esteemed members of the jury, I present to you: canon gay robots. The first in a long line of them. This is the starting point of the queer community being handed the Transformers franchise on a silver platter.

Up to this point, Roberts hadn’t gotten any further than implied attraction and affection between robots, in either his fanworks or professional credits. Pretty heavy-handed implication in some cases-

-but implication nonetheless. Here is the first, honest-to-god direct confirmation of two male-coded robots in love.

In love and space-married and recognized by the authority in power, in a comic written in 2012, as a part of a major franchise owned by a massive American company, three years before same-sex marriage would be legalized on a federal level.

As part of the story, it’s great. Within the context of the time during which it was published, it’s a whole other level. This wasn’t just good writing, it was important.

Let me part the kimono a little here, with some personal backstory- I grew up in Buttfuck Nowhere, NC, and went to a high school that was so homogeneous, they were threatening to bus students in after I graduated. I didn’t know what a gay person even was until I was 12. “Lesbian” was used as an insult, and it was one I was subjected to because I had cut my hair short in middle school and wore cargo shorts on occasion. It was something I really pushed against, because that’s how a lot of people react to being forcibly given a label.

Not the best environment for a little queer kid, clearly.

It wasn’t until well after I’d gone to college that I really started understanding who I was. Hell, I’m still figuring some things out, but at least I’m getting somewhere.

I remember reading this for the first time in 2015- yes, I got into the comics sort of late- and then having to reread it. I needed a moment just to process what had happened. As a person who had only recently come to terms with their sexuality at the time, it was kind of mind-blowing to have that sort of representation, especially since I was also watching Transformers Prime at around the same time. Talk about the duality of man, am I right?

These days, there’s a lot more representation in many different forms of media. Things are getting better. Which, y’know, yay! I’m glad. I just can’t help but wonder if things would have been a little different if this sort of representation had been available earlier on.

Anyway, so yes, Chromedome’s got a difficult choice to make for Rewind- either let his body try to sort itself out, or let First Aid break out the clamps and try to jumpstart him. Rewind’s got a relatively rare spark type, but luckily Chromedome’s the same type. Looks like everything’s coming up roses for our boys!

Tailgate and Cyclonus aren’t getting nearly as good a break.

My god, he’s filled with grape soda!

Back in the “Before”, things are getting a little silly.

Chromedome, what POSSIBLE tactical advantage could you be gaining from riding the giant, fire-breathing robot dinosaur? This is why they threw you in Kimia, isn’t it? Because you’re a dumbass.

While this bullshit is happening, Rewind and Tailgate are stacked on top of each other to look through a window, because I guess that’s just how things turn out when the resident couple on the ship is upset with one another. Rewind’s found something, but it isn’t the Circle of Light. Rather, it seems the Decepticons are dabbling in Pink Alchemy- a rather inefficient process that allows organic creatures to be turned into energon for consumption.

The good guy thing to do would be to save all the organics, but there’s a bit of a problem- the door is wired to a massive bomb. Good thing Tailgate was in Bomb Disposal, and is just generally an impressive and well-established dude. He gets to work.

Getting back to a point I made during Chaos Theory, Whirl can’t make a fist. Punching himself in the face is probably more akin to slashing it.

Tailgate’s got a weird approach to bombs, taking the time to teach Rewind how to do it, by way of student-led learning. They decide to poke a hole in the bottom of the bomb to drain all the explosive fluid out, which Tailgate does with little robot tears streaming down his face. Fear is a great motivator.

Oof, not a “Domey” in sight. That’s how you know things are rough.

Outside of this little scene, Whirl and Cyclonus are handling Decepticons. Whirl’s got a hold on that guy who’s voiced by Frank Welker, and we get a nice shot of his sad cat face before Whirl turns his head into a memory.

Swerve- who is also here- asks Whirl to loan him a gun.

GODDAMMIT SWERVE.

Not a single one of you bastards know proper gun safety! Between all the severe depression and reckless weapon-handling, I genuinely have no idea how the hell are any of you are still alive.

In the “After”, Chromedome’s just finished jumpstarting Rewind, and it’ll take a bit to see if it worked, so he’s left alone with his thoughts.

Just kidding, Tailgate’s come over to check in. Seems like Cyclonus is gonna pull through, something Chromedome’s not terribly thrilled about. Chromedome’s still miffed about the whole Kimia thing.

We finally learn why Chromedome and Rewind were fighting; it was because Rewind, as a walking historical database, has been deemed too important to die, and can opt out of any fight he choose to, but he doesn’t, thereby putting himself in harm’s way unnecessarily. Maybe he just worries about you when you go out there on the battlefield alone, Chromedome, you ever think of that? Maybe he doesn’t want to wonder when his husband will return home from the war.

Tailgate asks about all the little vials that are scattered around Rewind’s hospital bed, and we get a little Cybertronian tradition thrown at us.

The vials are filled with innermost energon, the stuff that surrounds the spark casing and never changes, no matter how much you modify or upgrade your body. Leaving a little of the stuff for someone in an offering signifies that you care very much for that person. Chromedome can’t give Rewind any, because he was “born dry”, but I think being space-married to the guy more than makes up for it.

Tailgate asks how the two of them met, and unlike in issue #6, Chromedome is feeling vulnerable enough to indulge the question this time.

But first we need to establish that Chromedome is insanely insecure.

So, Rewind is fucking old. He’s older than the Cybertronian civil war, he’s older than the calendar system, and he’s old enough to have been affected by Functionist society’s categorization system. Due to being a memory stick- something that there were millions of back in the day- Ratioism dictated that Rewind as an individual was worth very little, and made him and his like into slaves. Because he was a slave, he needed a master, and that master was none other than Dominus Ambus, also known as Cybertron’s Mech of the Year for 40,000 consecutive years.

Even on Cybertron, there’s a weird stigma about breastfeeding.

Rewind and Dominus quickly became friends, because that’s just the sort of guy Rewind is, and it made Dominus realize that maybe these slaves Cybertron had been working to death were sentient creatures worthy of respect too. He even developed a test to prove that all the slave classes were on the same level of functionality as everyone else.

On their quest to find a cure for the horrible disease Cybercrosis, Rewind and Dominus fucked off into space, on a wild goose chase to try and find Luna 1, the Cybertronian moon that just disappeared one day. Weird, that. They didn’t find it, and by the time they’d come back home, the war was well underway. They immediately became Autobots, and that was it for a while.

Then we move on to how Chromedome and Rewind met, and boy is it a doozy.

Chromedome had decided he wanted to kill himself, so he moseyed on over to the nearest relinquishment clinic- they did assisted suicides instead of body-swaps at this point- to do the deed. He was sitting in the waiting room, when he heard someone screaming. He wandered into the back to find Rewind weeping over a coffin, and he thought to himself “Maybe I don’t need to die after all” as he offered his future conjunx a shoulder to cry on.

What a fucking dark start to a relationship.

Rewind wasn’t upset about anyone who was dead though, but rather missing- Dominus had disappeared into thin air months ago, and Rewind was getting desperate to find him, looking in more and more awful places in the hope of recovering what he’d lost.

As it turns out, he’s still doing that. The reason the two of them are on the Lost Light is because Rewind needs to find Dominus- alive or dead, it doesn’t seem to particularly matter at this point. That’s why he buys snuff films in dark alleys.

See, Tailgate gets it.

Guys, bad news.

Chromedome’s spark is too weak to jumpstart Rewind. Unless they find another compatible donor, Rewind’s gonna be in big trouble. There’s nothing to do but wait.

Later, in their room, Chromedome is sitting on the floor and very much not following doctor’s orders to get some sleep. Someone on the opposite side of the door he’s leaning up against starts talking to him. Chromedome doesn’t seem to want to hear any of it, until he does.

Given who the basement dweller is, this probably won’t turn out so hot.

Chromedome gets a call from the medibay, and fortunately the universe has decided to play nice this go around, because someone came forward as a match.

But it’s not like Whirl cares about anyone, right? Not in the slightest, nuh-uh, not him!

While Chromedome gives Whirl what is probably an uncomfortably long hug, and they both most likely ignore the fact that Chromedome would be actively suicidal without Rewind, Tailgate’s off in the corner, having taken his hand off and begun pouring cartoon toxic waste into a vial. It’s actually his innermost energon. Boy’s making an offering, but it isn’t to Rewind.

It’s to this ungrateful fuck.

Cyclonus stalks away from Tailgate’s kindness, until he’s stopped by witnessing the power of love.

Everyone likes Rewind, and these displays of affection seems to have reminded Cyclonus that he’s horrifically lonely. Feeling some remorse over his actions- not that he’ll ever admit it out loud- he goes back to help Tailgate pick up the pieces of the vial he broke.

Wrapping up our story, we go back to the “Before”, right before the bomb is set to go off. Whirl and Cyclonus have more or less taken care of the Decepticons, Whirl suggests they set aside their differences and agree to stop trying to murder each other, in a surprising show of reason and, perhaps, self-preservation. Cyclonus doesn’t seem to agree with the idea.

I genuinely think that’s the most he’s said all series up to this point.

Rewind calls the two idiots over for help, because Tailgate’s about to pull a self-sacrifice to get this bomb emptied, and he just isn’t listening to reason. Cyclonus assists.

Once Tailgate’s been fastball-specialed out of the room, Whirl decides to get back to being a bastard, and locks Cyclonus and Rewind in with the bomb with 10 seconds left on the clock. Ah, so the donation was out of guilt, I see. Still a form of caring, in its own way.

With no way to escape, all Cyclonus can do is attempt to shield Rewind with his body as the bomb goes off.

That’s the end of the issue but it’s the middle of the story, and despite what Cyclonus says, dynamics are changing. Slowly, but surely, things are shifting. He’s headed for a lot of character development, and he’ll be kicking and screaming the whole way.

[kabane52]

Abraham’s Twofold Heritage

At one point I strongly contested any continued significance in God's election for the Jewish people. Abraham's seed was the church and the church was Abraham's seed- Jews were no more nor less covenantally significant than any other people. My argument for this was not based so much on a particular set of scriptural texts as it was on a way of reading the biblical story arc. There was, I believed, a definite structure to the prophetic and messianic hope: the seed of Abraham would undergo two exoduses and two covenants. The old covenant is described in Deuteronomy 29 and the coming to pass of its curses is specified with absolute certainty. The new exodus and covenant is described in Deuteronomy 30: Israel's heart would be circumcised, they would be gathered in from exile, and their right standing with God would endure.

Most simply, it seemed to me that the family of Abraham and the people of Israel were identical in every way. The apostles describe the nations as having been brought into Abraham's family, and there seemed to me to be no justification whatsoever in distinguishing Abraham's family from Israel. The New Testament is permeated by texts which describe the church as the fulfillment of promises made to Israel. In Romans 2:25-29, gentiles receive what is promised to Israel in the second exodus of Deuteronomy 30:1-6. The "new covenant" which God promised and which is identified by  Jesus as His work is a covenant between God and Israel.

I still believe that this argument has not been properly considered in Messianic Jewish literature. [Please recognize that Messianic Judaism is a much larger world than "Jews for Jesus" and there are some very sophisticated Messianic Jewish scholars.] Yet I have come to believe that it can be answered. Its answer is to be found in a constellation of texts ultimately unfolding from Genesis 17-25. We often think of Genesis 17 as the creation of Israel- "the circumcision" proper. But what we sometimes fail to recognize is that without "the circumcision" there is no such thing as "the uncircumcision." The dyad of Israel and the nations comes into existence with the circumcision of Abraham's family. Moreover, in this very text Ishmael and his descendants are the subjects of an enduring promise that is not the promise made to Isaac and his descendants. In Genesis 25, we have a genealogy of Abraham's children through Keturah and through Ishmael. Isaac is the heir of Abraham's estate, yet Abraham sends these other children east with gifts.

Here is the key: in Isaiah 60, we hear of those "from afar" coming to beautify and glorify Mount Zion, newly permeated by divine beatitude and uncreated light. The light of God attracts the nations as a fire attracts a crowd on a cold evening. But one detail could easily be missed: the first nations which are described are the children of Ishmael. As Abraham sent them away with gifts, now those gifts have matured and are consecrated on God's altar. The newly fermented wine which was given in the time of Abraham has now aged to perfection and is made holy on God's altar in the time of the Messiah. Actually, Matthew 2 echoes this passage. The magi are "from the east" and a strong case can be made that they are Ishmaelite Arabs rather than Persians. As the nations are drawn by light, so also are the magi attracted by the star. Two of the gifts mentioned in Isaiah 60 are gold and frankincense, and the magi bring these two gifts along with myrrh. Isaiah 60 is sacral in character: the nations are drawn by the divine presence in Israel, and so also Matthew 2: "God with us" has come to dwell with mankind, and the magi "worship" Him.

This twofold Abrahamic promise is something of a theme throughout the Tanach. The healing of Jacob and Esau's relationship is taken up in Malachi as a prophetic image for the healing of the rift between Israel and the nations. As the "sun rose upon" Jacob on the morning of his meeting with Esau, so also will the nations offer Tribute to God "from the rising of the sun." But the most pervasive image used to describe this twofold structure is that of the two houses of Israel: Ephraim and Judah. Consider the prophecy in Zechariah that "ten men" will take hold of the "wing" (the blue tassel or tzitzit which Jews wear) of a "Jew" (i.e. a Judahite). Ten is a significant figure here because of the northern ten tribes. The promise is given as part of a constellation of promises related to the reunification of the two houses. 

In a way, the nations correspond to Ephraim while the Jews, Israel according to the flesh, corresponds to Judah. Genesis 48 gives further support to this idea: Ephraim will become a "multitude of nations." The fact that the northern kingdom is the "house of Joseph" (remember that Joseph's double portion from Jacob meant that he was a double-tribe: his children Ephraim and Manasseh each became a tribe in the confederation of Israel) is also suggestive towards this end. The illumination of the nations of the world was Joseph's great work, a work which he carried out prior to his reconciliation with his brothers according to the flesh. Indeed, while his family believed him lost forever, Ephraim and Manasseh were present in Joseph's own household.

The New Testament is filled with quotations from prophetic texts about the ingathering of the ten tribes that are identified as having been fulfilled in the ingathering of the gentiles. Nor is this an apostolic innovation: the two ideas seem to shade into each other in many of the prophets themselves, as in the above referenced text from Zechariah. The prophet even refers to the ten tribes being "sown to" the nations and "swallowed up" therein. That word is only used four times in the Twelve- twice in this context and once in the Book of Jonah, where the Prophet is "swallowed up" by a "great fish" before bearing witness to Nineveh. The "great fish" is a symbol of the "great city." While some of the northern tribes were assimilated into Judahite culture and returned from Babylon (note for example that the prophetess Anna is from the Tribe of Asher) most were assimilated into the gentile nations. It seems that one function of this assimilation was to tie together the destiny of all nations with the destiny of Abraham's seed.

*Why* this sort of bond functioned to tie the nations with Abraham is something I do not presently understand. Nothing is merely typological. Types and symbols exist because they manifest the real, concrete, and cause-effect structure of the world. Every type of Christ serves to bring Christ's presence truly closer to fruition. And so we must not simply say that the assimilation of the ten tribes tied the nations to Abraham because of a typological link: that principle which perpetuates the rhythm of the world is also the principle which makes it beautiful. Every aesthetic perfection is also maximally functional. I am perfectly sure that there is an explanation, and that this explanation will teach a great deal about the significance of the human family and its structure as a genealogy of interrelated nations. But I do not know it yet.

In any case, this answered my most serious objection: that there was simply no available category for a covenantally bound member of Abraham's family who was not in every way a member of Israel. There seems to be exactly such a category in Abraham's extended family- from Hagar and Keturah, as well as in the assimilated Israelite tribes. The church shares in Israel's covenant and destiny through her identity as the Body of a Resurrected Jew. In that sense the church takes on the name and title of Israel. But just as we take on Christ's Name (Christ-ian) without dissolving the unique application the title has to the person of Jesus Christ, so also is the church joined to the name of Israel without taking away its special connection with the Jewish nation, Israel according to the flesh- the Messiah's own flesh whom He yearns for with uncreated affection. The first person to ever wail at the wailing wall was our Lord, as He wept at the fate He knew was to befall His own people. When Jesus rode into Jerusalem, He was in tears. These tears will not flow forever, for when Jesus wept on another occasion- an occasion very shortly prior to His riding into Jerusalem- He acted by telling the Jew for whom He shed tears to "come out" from His Tomb. There were those present who figured that Lazarus had been dead too long. But Jesus' words were fulfilled all the same. 

Perhaps the most precise expression of the church's identity in relation to Israel is in Ephesians 2:12. The church is the "citizenship" or "commonwealth" of Israel. We are enrolled in the citizenship of Zion to carry Zion to the far end of creation. But that river which Zionizes the creation must circle back to Zion proper to enrich it with the splendor of all nations- see Isaiah 65-66. The nations will "flow" to Jerusalem just as Jerusalem in the person of Jesus and the Apostles flowed to the nations.

[seriouslyhooked]

Feels Like This (Part 2)

Emma Swan is a once lost girl who is now making good. She has made a way in the world for her and her young son, Henry, and after years of hard work, Emma is in her last stretch of schooling for the career she’s always wanted. Unexpectedly, she finds herself in a tiny nation no one’s ever heard of for her last year of study. She knows nothing about the place except that it’s beautiful, has a world-renowned child life program, and is filled with possibility. Meanwhile, Prince Killian is hardly happy with the title he received at birth. As the second in line for the crown, Killian has long tried shaking his royal duties. He built a career in the royal navy, and has stayed out of the limelight, but his ship has been called to port indefinitely at the request of his brother, the King. Fate (in her many forms) brings Emma and Killian together and the resulting fic is a cute, fluffy, trope filled romp featuring heart felt moments, a healthy dose of insta-love and an assured happily ever after. Story rated M and will have 12 parts. Part 1 Here. Available on FF Here and AO3 Here.

A/N: Oh my god, guys, I am not going to lie, I am having so much fun writing this fic! I have missed having new stories to explore so much, and I am so eternally grateful for all of you who kept pushing me to do another Royal AU. I didn’t realize how much I was going to love doing this again until I started, and now I have so much I want to explore, and so much fluff and cuteness in my head I can’t wait to share with you all. I hope you will enjoy this chapter. Keep in mind, I know it’s been a slower burn so far, but I promise the pay off will be perfect. In the meantime, you’ll see where Killian is in this fic, and the people in his life who will become important characters to the rest of the story. Some are based on the show, some are added additions as you’ll see. For example, I always name Killian’s mom ‘Meera’ in my fics, I know it kind of sounds like Milah, but they’re not the same and I chose that name originally because of its meaning and because of a poem I read long ago – the sounds was coincidence. Anyway, that being said, I hope you will enjoy, and thank you so much for reading!

“Well, mates, we’ve finally done it. Our twelve-month stint is complete and all our sorry asses are heading home. Never thought I’d see the day.”

The words from Will Scarlet hung between Killian and his friends where they sat in the cargo hold of a military aircraft flying over the last piece of the sea that separated them all from home. They had just finished their active deployment in a classified location, and it had been immersive and seemingly unending. With limited contact to the outside world, and a constant goal of getting their mission done, these officers and their subordinates had worked hard to serve their country and its citizens. It had been trying times, and the task at hand was hard, but this was what they trained for. The Montenarro elite naval force was as selective as it was distinguished, and every man and woman serving in it was considered a national hero. But Killian hated that term, and he hated it more than anything when it was used in conjunction with his other loathed title – prince.

“You nearly didn’t make it, Scar-boy. If you hadn’t had Hook watching your back, you’d be dead ten times over.”

Killian smirked at the bit of teasing from Robin. That nickname for Scarlet was classic and well earned, given how many near misses he’d had with a tragic, awful death. But the boy part was bestowed thanks to Scarlet’s enduring childishness. His old friend always brought a laugh, and he could sober up when things got serious, but he couldn’t apply that sense of military discipline or responsibility to the rest of his life. He was a man child: unruly and a bit manic, but now that they were coming home, Killian hoped Will might figure things out. Meanwhile, Killian’s nickname, Hook, had at one time been a huge resentment for him. He’d earned the moniker in a notorious fight off base years ago just upon entering the royal command. The man he laid out with a single punch was a right jack ass, who’d made a show of harassing women and spewing all kinds of ignorant crap the whole bloody night, but the headline of the moment was that the ‘rebel prince’ had struck again.  His superiors were furious, and he was punished accordingly, but it was his brother, the King, who had dealt the harshest blow.

“You set one more foot out of line and I will bring you back home. If you’re going to make a spectacle of yourself, you’ll damn well do it somewhere our mother doesn’t have to worry about your safety.”

That was enough to set Killian to rights, because despite the seemingly charmed nature of his life, home was synonymous with hardship and discomfort. Being royalty was a constant burden of saving face and proper manners. He loved his brother, his mother, and his Gran, but they fit into that world with ease and a natural charm he didn’t possess. They loved shaking hands and kissing babies, took great pride in parades and national addresses, and knew how to ‘operate society.’ Killian, on the other hand, couldn’t stand it. He never blended well, never trusted easy. He’d met one too many snakes in Montenarro’s royal court and he didn’t need any more lessons on the hidden intentions people carried. It would sound mad to the average person, but there was a similar sense of dread he shared on deployment and at home, and on the good days, when he and his men were all safe with a job well done, he was vastly happier in his profession than in his personal life at home. At least he felt like he was serving something, and participating in a duty that was bigger than hollow gestures and picture perfect moments.

“The most important thing is no one’s dead,” Tink murmured from her spot on the other side of the hold. She was damn right about that. “We made it through another tour and I, for one, am out of here.”

“Olive will be glad to have you home, love,” Graham stated, patting their friend on the arm a few times in a signal to her extra sacrifice made these long months.

The mention of Tink’s daughter made her smile and in any other person tears no doubt would have shown in their eyes at the mention of such a reunion, but not Tink. This woman might be the smallest of their platoon but she was the fiercest and honestly the smartest. She was also brave as could be and composed at every moment. He’d asked her once how she could manage that, given everything that they saw and went through. Every one of them had moments of grave impact, where the stress or straight out fear crept in and took root, but not Tink. Her response was simply stated though it seemed impossible to comprehend: 

‘When you have a reason to get home, a part of you that needs you, you don’t have the luxury of breaking down. Everything I have needs to go towards one thing – surviving. I have to get back for her and she matters more than everything else. No matter what I see here, she’s my beacon home.”

“The day I left, I promised her that this was my last tour,” Tink said, surprising everyone except for Killian with the revelation. She’d confided in him about her plan to leave their unit a few months back, and when the paperwork needed to get to higher ups to unenlist from front-line duty he helped her, knowing she was owed that after years of faithful service to the crown. “I didn’t want to mention it because I knew exactly what you’d all say.”

“You’re leaving us?” Will asked and the tone in his voice was like someone had kicked him in the gut. For someone so full of bluster, he caved in quick, and while Graham and Robin didn’t sound quite so stricken, they too were surprised.

“I took a land command. You’re looking at the royal navy’s newest pencil pusher,” she said with a huge grin. “Six years ago I’d have laughed in your face if you told me how happy that would make me.”

“But that was before,” Killian said, understanding her instinct to be with her daughter and the change she needed to make her family whole again.

“You always get it, Cap. But what about you – you think you’ve got another tour left in you?”

Ah shit. Here was the moment of truth. He couldn’t lie when faced with Tink’s question, but he had been denying the inevitable even to himself for so long. Every tour his brother told him this would be the last one, but every time he waivered when Killian returned and asked to leave once more. Killian had been serving for more than fifteen years now, a decorated Captain who had earned his own way and proven his merit. He knew he was well respected and highly capable, but that would stop meaning anything to Liam soon. No matter how good a Captain Killian was, his duty, as Liam saw it, was to be the prince and the second in line. He had obligations at home, and as loathed as that life was, Killian considered himself lucky. His family had given him the freedom of finding something more like normal all these years. Here, with his crew, he was normal. He wasn’t a monarch, but a man, part of a team even if he was a leader, and there was no bull shit muss or fuss. Now that would likely end, but despite wishing he could come back, Killian was grateful for what he’d been able to do and the friends he’d been able to meet.

“I serve at the pleasure of the King,” Killian hedged. “But I think it likely my assignments will be changing this go around.”

“What he means to say is he’ll be dodging the ladies at court and fending off those investment cats always vying for access to the royal purse,” Graham joked. Killian only shrugged, not able to contradict the man, as he was probably dead on.

“I’d take the desert twice over before I took that shit,” Will said, and for once, Killian had to agree with him, but it didn’t matter either way.

Soon enough the plane that was flying them back to base was prepared to land. Their descent was easy, but the feelings that Killian grappled with were not. There was relief of course when the doors opened and they were back on land. They’d been serving in dangerous places, running on borrowed time with too many close calls. Even the plain façade of their base near the capital couldn’t hide the beauty of Montenarro. Many people called this country too small to notice, but what it lacked for in size, it made up for in location. Nestled on the Mediterranean, with a range of coastlines and mountain range, this nation lived in a world that was warm and where the sun shone brightly and often. Today, the coast was clear and glorious, but the mountains weren’t far and the foot hills were lush this time of year. The greenery around them was a luxury compared to the barren wastelands they’d been encamped in, but beyond the walls of this military compound lay his real life. When he left this place, he stopped being Hook, or Cap, or even Killian. He had to be someone else, and the weight of that shifted the peace within him to something frenzied and on guard.

With a swift but genuine regard he bid all his brothers and sister in arms goodbye, and handed in his papers and his weapons with the higher-ups. By the time he made it outside, headed to his personal barracks where he needed to collect some personal items, a royal enclave was ready for him and their head of security, Jefferson, was already waiting.

“Your things have been gathered, Your Highness. We’re ready to ship out.”

“So help me Jefferson if you start that Highness crap already -,”

“Sorry, sir.”

Killian sighed at the lingering formality but it was a small improvement and it wasn’t actually Jefferson’s fault. If the man waivered from formal titles surely Liam would hear of it, and his elder brother was no fan of abandoning tradition. Why he’d even let Killian serve all these years was beyond him, but Killian expected Liam knew that without an outlet and a feeling of normalcy, Killian would have lost himself long ago.

The ride through the city’s center was long, but Killian barely took it in despite looking out his window. He’d seen this route a million times, and it might be lovely, but it was a signal of returning to a state he didn’t like. The only part of the drive he found favor in was seeing the people around them, and from all looks and appearance, the citizens of their small nation were happy and well. People were out and about, children were playing, families were gathered and enjoying the spring day. Everyone was partaking in this first sweet taste of summer and their worlds seemed calm and bright. As a ruler that was the only thing a King could wish for, and Killian felt that call too even as Prince. Their roles meant nothing if the people were not served – but under Liam’s watchful and ever attentive eye, it made sense that they would be happy. They were surely headed towards another prosperous year, and, as Killian had always known, the nation had never been in better, more capable hands.

By the time they reached the city’s far edge and the golden gates of his family’s castle rose before them, Killian was at war with himself. On the one hand he was edgy from what was yet to come, but he was also glad to be back, to see his mother and grandmother, and even his brother. At the end of the day he loved his family, he knew that they worried for him every day he’d been away, and he’d be glad that coming home could bring them comfort. He mindfully made the choice to choose their happiness over his own for the time being, and as he exited the limousine, he schooled his features in a smile which widened at the sight of who was waiting at the door.

“Oh, my little Killy. You’re home at last.”

To the rest of the world, his grandmother was the dowager Queen and a force to be reckoned with. She was a high society lady, the former ruler of this nation, and a fierce advocate for the throne, but to Killian she was just his Gran, a charming, insightful, sometimes crafty older woman with too much love in her heart to ever perish. She was pushing 90 years old but here she was, the first to greet him and moving about like she was thirty years younger. She came straight to Killian, ignoring his polite bow and instead pulling him in for a warm embrace. How a woman so tiny could still possess such strength, he’d never know, but he had a fleeting though that she and Tink would get along before his grandmother pulled back with a mist of tears in her eyes.

“Did you miss me that much, Gran?” he teased, fending off his own wayward emotion at being reunited with one of his favorite people. “I thought I was just a load of trouble wrapped up in a charming giftwrap.”

“Oh hush. I said that to you one time – one time! And you never let me forget it. I mean truly, my dear, what was I supposed to say? You got into your cousin Sienna’s wedding cake and ate damn near half on your own before the reception could even start. Chef nearly perished at the sight of it.”

“I was a kid, Gran.”

“You were old enough to know better. But you could see what a menace that foolish Count was, no doubt. Can’t say I blame you for your actions now, given everything.”

Everything in this case was a huge scandal strewn across the tabloids. Sienna, who was actually quite a distant cousin, but still of royal lineage, was a rather stand-offish woman who had married more for status than for love. Unfortunately that status was tarnished less than ten years later when her now ex-husband was revealed as a philanderer and not a cautious one. It was a mess of paparazzi fodder, but to Killian it wasn’t all that bad, not after what they’d gone through with his father.

“Honestly I just wanted cake,” Killian admitted, shaking off thoughts of the man who’d wronged them long ago and his Gran grinned, none the wiser.

“Well there will be plenty of it now that you’re home. Your mother has planned a whole host of events, and before you get all stodgy and upset, you remember what every day has been like since you were last home. Poor Meera’s been fussing with that rosary damn near twenty times a day.”

Killian felt a pang of guilt hearing that, but his grandmother ignored his stricken look, pulling him inside. Immediately in the entryway he found his mother and Liam and the rest of the household staff set to greet them. He saw the joy in his mother’s eyes, and a clear sense of relief in Liam’s and he knew, even without words or actions, that he was truly missed and very much loved. Still he glanced back at his Gran, quirking up a brow to silently ask her why she wasn’t part of the precession.

“When you get to be my age, my dear, the formalities start to seem rather pointless. I wasn’t waiting an extra second to see my grandson, and your brother has the good sense to let me be.”

“Anyone who lacked that sense risks a fate worse than death, I’m sure,” Liam said dryly, but he spared a smile for their Gran all the same and allowed the old woman to swat at his arm like he was a pesky fly instead of the reigning monarch. “It’s good to see you home, brother.”

“It’s good to be with you all again,” Killian said, choosing his words carefully. He was not interested in lying to his family. They had enough to grapple with from the world around them, the least they owed each other was transparency. His mother certainly seemed to agree, and the tears she’d no doubt held in for months streamed down her still lovely face as she pulled him in close and hugged him far tighter than a royal mother should. Here was his mother in truth, not the part she played in public spaces, and despite their appearance in front of the staff, she doted on him like any good Mum should.

“You’re okay, darling? No bad scrapes this time?” Her tone grew warbly and Killian again felt the tug of guilt for what he put his family through in doing what he loved. He couldn’t regret his choice to serve and stake his own path, but he knew what a toll it took on his mother, and that was regrettable. On one of his first deployments he’d been injured pretty badly and he bore the scars along his back and side to prove it, but nothing vital had been hit, thank god, and as soon as he was healed he’d been ready to go out again. It almost broke his mother, but she was a strong woman, stronger than any he had ever known.

“A few nicks, Mum. Nothing serious.”

“Oh thank God. And now you’re home for good at last.”

Killian looked to Liam for confirmation and his brother shook his head. “Let’s not go there yet.” Liam pulled him in for a hug of his own, one of a special design they’d shared since he was but a boy and again Killian felt the true affection of his brother. They may be men of very different stripes, but Liam was a part of him and who he was. He was his elder brother and the closest thing Killian had to a father figure. His love meant the world to him, and so too did his approval.

“So, Gran mentioned some festivities. Have I time before the circus, or will it descend immediately?”

“Circus?” His mother asked, clearly confused before looking at her mother-in-law with amusement. “I think your grandmother is up to her old tricks. We don’t have anything planned. It’s just us and your favorite dinner. Just how you like it.”

Thank God for that, Killian thought to himself before turning to his grandmother who looked like a spoiled tyke at Christmas. She was so pleased with her little fake-out, she actually clasped her hands together.

“The Americans call it ‘punking’ someone. Such a garish word, but it does have its merits.”

“Still no hobbies to be found, Gran?” Killian asked, knowing that his grandmother was a busy body, and she needed a lot of occupation or she risked being… well, like this.

“Who needs the bloody things?” Gran said, swearing so brashly it made Killian choke on his drink and his mother gasp. “I do what is needed. You needed a good joke upon arriving home so I did what I could to provide one.”

“Gran’s taken to jokes of late,” Liam explained and Killian suddenly wanted very much to know what the old bird had been up to. From his brother’s expression, she’d gotten him good, and Killian would pay to see that.

“I tried to get it on tape, but that blasted Jefferson took my phone spouting all sorts of nonsense about royal protocol,” his Gran said, reading his mind. “But regardless, your dear brother knows perfectly well that I have plenty of occupation with the foundation. So much work that needs doing there. It must be constantly tended to, just like your mother’s roses.”

“I don’t remember it being so much,” Killian remarked, not even really remembering that the family had a foundation at all. It was more an endowment, a way to give the vastness of their wealth to worthy causes. But writing checks surely couldn’t take such effort.

“Well I’ve had to change it, haven’t I? If I was going to build something worthy of your attention, it had to do real good. It’s much more hands on now, you see. I might be in my twilight years, but I can still get my hands dirty.”

And there it was. He was wondering what the plan would be. He assumed he’d be added to Liam’s counsels and propped up as a family focal piece, the returning hero back home at last. But even without fully understanding the intention, Killian could see an earnest excitement in his grandmother’s eyes. Whatever the foundation had become, she was trying to build something for him, and if he could have a purpose beyond the face of a royal family, he’d be eternally grateful.

“So I really am home for good then?” Killian asked, broaching the uncomfortable topic once more as Liam considered him from the other end of the table. After a beat of quiet, Liam replied.

“I’ve spoken with our heads of command. The conflicts we’re involved in are winding down and while the Americans continue their crusade in the Middle East, our time of service there is drawing to a close. We’re shifting back to more diplomatic measures, and what’s left to fight can be handled by your fellow soldiers I think.”

“The country is in good hands,” Killian agreed and though it hurt to think that he was truly finished with his service, he was prepared for such an outcome. Liam would not demand that Killian leave. He was never so authoritarian, but this suggestion spoke volumes and Killian, much as he might be tempted, would not go against his brothers wishes.

“If they’ve been trained by you then it certainly is,” his mother agreed fiercely and Killian laughed. Her statement was not at all based in first-hand knowledge. She had never seen him in the field, rarely even seen him in his military context at all, but she still staunchly believed in him. It was appreciated, but comical all the same.

“And the foundation? What exactly is it doing these days?”

“Well by god, what aren’t we doing? There’s so much to do you see. We’ve been funding all sorts of new energies so we can be ‘green and clean,’” His Gran chirped happily. “We’ve expanded our species protection efforts with the ministry of parks and wildlife. I went on a whale watch with the Duchess of Mandrey. It was just marvelous. We wore, oh what, do they call them…? Oh right, ponchos! We’re working with the ministry of health to create community gardens not just to teach the children but to feed the people. You should see what we’ve done in the cities, Killy. We’ve built these centers with the soil and the supplies. The little ones love it -,”

“Clearly there’s quite a few balls in the air as it were,” Killian’s mother said, gently interrupting his grandmother’s exuberant storytelling. “But we were thinking, I mean if it works for you, that whenever you’re settled back in you might look at one particular part of the organization. Get a more hands on feel for something and truly learn the workings of the charity.”

“Did you have an idea of which one?”

“The Montenarro Children’s Sanctuary,” his Gran replied with total assuredness, and to his amazement, she produced a pamphlet (would wonders ever cease?) from somewhere under the table to hand to him. “Got that from the front desk last week. It’s all in there, dear, and the children are just precious. You’ve always loved the little ones, so it’s a perfect fit.”

“Have I?” Killian asked, not sure if he’d ever shown that predisposition. He always liked interacting with the children in the extended family when they came for holidays and events, but that was hardly a background in working with kids.

“Of course you have. You have such a way with them, and these children, well my dear, they just need someone like you so much. It’s a wonderful opportunity to make a difference.”

Killian knew she must be right, and he felt, despite his hesitations and the urge to reject someone else planning out his life, that this may indeed be a good fit for him for now. He never would have chosen such a charity first, thinking himself a bit understudied in the ways of children, but it certainly couldn’t hurt to give it a try, and his family was right, he needed something to do, something that actually felt like it mattered. After living for years with a purpose he couldn’t waste his time doing things he felt were frivolous. If he did he might go mad.

“I’ll go on one condition,” Killian said and they all considered him, clearly surprised he would accept at all and that he was handling his military retirement so well. “No one at that organization is calling me Prince Killian, Your Highness or any of that. I’ll go by Killian. That’s it.”

“But dear that’s -,”

“Before you say it’s not possible, Mum, just think for a minute about the work they do there and the kids in that scenario. This is a home for orphans and children who can’t be cared for in traditional means. They don’t have present families, they don’t have anything to call their own. They might know I am prince, but I don’t want them to feel the difference between us. You want me to help somehow? I don’t know how to truly help people when we’re separate or unequal. I never mastered that. It’s not how I work.”

“It’s just a title, Killy,” his Gran said sadly but he was holding firm. He wanted this for the kids and for himself. He’d dedicate himself to helping in this way, but he wanted at least a feeling of something normal, something that was his and not the crown’s. He looked to Liam, awaiting his brother’s verdict, and after a brief consideration his brother nodded.

“It seems reasonable enough. But only at the foundation. To the rest of the world you are, and always will be, Prince.”

“Fair enough,” Killian agreed. “Now, any chance we’ve got some cake?”

At the joke, everyone laughed, but low and behold there was cake to be had. And though his life was shifting radically, and he might not be on the most solid of ground right now, Killian felt hopeful that things might just work out in the end. Soon enough he’d be a part of something again, and he hoped quite sincerely to make a difference and make a change for the people he served, and in truth, for himself as well.

…………………..

Hours after their meal, and long after her son had headed up to his wing of the palace, Queen Meera looked out her large antique window to the full moon out tonight. She thanked the heavens that her son was back home safe. After so many years of fighting, and being in the thick of too many international skirmishes, he was finally back and all in one piece. Every night she’d prayed for his safety and for his health. She prayed he would be protected and smart out there doing God knows what. But she also prayed that he would feel peace, when she knew peace was a luxury for her youngest boy he wasn’t usually graced with. Recently she’d added a few more prayers as well, ones that would keep him open to the changes coming in all of their lives.  She was grateful at dinner that he was receptive to the prospect put before him of working for the family foundation. So far the plan was working, and she sent up another prayer that the rest would fall into place too.

Perhaps it would be strange to some that she was doing this, trying to craft a future for her beloved son when he was a fully-grown man, but she knew down in her soul that Killian needed the guidance. He was a good man, a strong man, a man bound by honor and compassion, but her son was always closed off, especially when it came to matters of the heart. There were many reasons for that, a few near-misses in love, and all the attention that their family brought forward, but the real reason underneath it all stemmed from the sins of his father, a man Meera once felt love for, who blessed her with two children and promptly threw the life they built together all away.

Prince Brennan had always been notorious. A party boy, a man of mischief. He never met trouble he didn’t like the look of, but his people and his family still believed him to be fundamentally good if a bit lacking in maturity. He was set to inherit the throne as the only child of the King and Queen, and through a twist of fate Meera and him had met and fallen in love. Meera was a common girl, with no connections, and no wealth to speak of, but it hadn’t mattered to Brennan. In fact, in hindsight, he probably wanted her even more because of it. They stole away as many moments as they could, and then one day he told her they were getting married. He never asked, he just informed her, and she went along with it, knowing she loved him even if she was scared of trying to be part of his world. She thought he’d bring her home to meet his family, thought he’d seek their approval, but Brennan had a mind of his own, and that night they eloped.

Only when they were legally man and wife did he bring her home and the fall out had been immense. His father, King Rupert, was furious, but the ire never was directed at her. It was Brennan who the King and Queen were mad at, and Meera couldn’t understand why. If King Rupert and Queen Eleanor truly liked her, why be so angry? Why chastise him as they did? Only a year later, after the birth of her eldest son, Liam, did she realize why; Brennan was flighty and irresponsible. He couldn’t commit to things, he never devoted himself to anything forever. He was bad at making decisions, at paying attention, and he had a total disregard for his impending role as ruler of Montenarro. If someone even hinted at his impending responsibility to the people of this country he went running as fast and as far as he could. Still Meera believed he loved her and that even if he couldn’t give all of himself to his duty, he could be there for her and their children. After trying for seven more years to give Liam some siblings, they were blessed to have Killian, and only after her second son’s birth did the truth fully come into focus. Marriage hadn’t actually meant to Brennan what it meant to her. In her eyes, they were meant to be partners, meant to love each other, and honor each other, but he couldn’t do it. He grew resentful and unruly, and ultimately, unfaithful.

It was an awful time, to be sure, and for Killian, it ended up being all he knew of his father. She kept everything she could from both of her sons, but somehow things always got out. The media had a field day at each and every instance, and then, when it got so bad and so brutal, Meera decided she must go. She and her sons could stay here no longer. Not with Brennan here. Shockingly, when she told Eleanor and Rupert of her plans they told her it was not her place to leave. It was Brennan who must make a choice – shape up and make amends to his wife and to his family, or leave, forsaking his thrown, his power, and all inheritance as he did. Brennan knew in an instant what he wanted, and so he left, but not before Killian and Liam heard him yelling and carrying on. At only six years of age Killian watched his father leave them all, with nothing like regret, and then, a few days later they found that Brennan had died in an accident, the product of reckless choices finally catching up with him.

Explaining to her sons how their father’s actions had no influence on who they were was so hard. Liam seemed to know this, but he channeled his pain into being the perfect heir. He put so much pressure on himself to be a wonderful king and a wonderful son. She worried about that and she was trying every day to help manage that as best she could. But Killian was far more sensitive. He was sweet and thoughtful and bold all at once. He had the biggest heart and he wanted so badly to wear it on his sleeve. But he didn’t. He closed himself off, and then he’d gone into the royal navy and Meera was devastated. She was always worried sick for her son, but what could she say? She saw in him a burst of that vitality and that light in his eyes when he was away. Even in the midst of chaos, Killian was at peace. Why? Because he could be himself. He’d found a place he felt safe, in some of the most unsafe places around the world. Now, though, he was coming back and this was not a place he felt that freedom. With them of course he had trust, but with everyone else she knew his walls would come right back up, steadfast as ever and impenetrable to most.

That was why she was doing this. She wanted a chance to open Killian up to more, to prompt her son towards something he deserved but had always run from: love. She knew he’d be hesitant, and only the perfect kind of woman could bring him to a place where he could be himself, so she’d been looking. It was practically her job to meet people all the time, to come into contact with royals and commoners alike, but she never had much hope. No one felt right, no one seemed perfect until a few weeks ago. Eleanor had returned from one of her outings with the foundation, from the children’s sanctuary, and slapped down a folder with a simple statement.

“I found the girl. Killian’s sweetheart. I know she’s the one.”

Meera was so excited, and she opened the folder without second thought. Sure enough the woman in the file was beautiful, and surprising. She was an American and pretty as could be, clearly smart as she was here on a fellowship grant from the local University. And she had a son. There were all sorts of details about how the school had made arrangements for them because she was such a promising fellow. She was gifted with children and had her own experience with being an orphan as well. Meera planned to go the next day with Eleanor to see for herself, but Eleanor said she wasn’t there. When Meera realized Eleanor never even seen the girl she was horrified. It was one thing to be looking for potential suitors for her son, but people they’d never even met? That seemed like a bridge too far.

“She’ll be here in two weeks. The Sanctuary director couldn’t stop talking about how excited they were for this year’s candidate and one thing lead to another… but that’s the way these things go sometimes.”

It was not the way things usually went, and Meera knew that, but she had never regretted following Eleanor’s instincts before. If her mother-in-law believed in this, then she felt that she should too. And besides, their goal here was a good one – all they wanted was two worthy people to fall in love, after all. What was really the harm in that? Meera just didn’t know, and that was the problem which had been keeping her up for more than a few nights now.

“You are worrying too much, Meera. It will all turn out exactly as it’s meant to,” Eleanor said, having walked into the room with such silence Meera never once detected her.

“You really think it’ll happen?” Meera asked, not even bothering to hide her anxiety.

“Think it’ll happen? My love, he’s as handsome as can be, a Captain of the navy, a hero of war, and has a heart of gold. Any woman worth her salt is going to take one look at him and fall straight in love. Meanwhile he’s going to take one look at this Swan girl and you know what he’s going to do? He’s going to see forever in an instant. His heart will beat for her, and love will stake a claim from the very first moment. Cupid will have quite a simple task of it, you mark my words.”

“You make it all sound so…”

“Romantic? Blissful?”

“I was going to say theatrical.”

“Love at first sight has long been slandered, but still it exists. People find it every day, and many times when they know, they just know.” 

“I just want him to be happy,” Meera admitted looking down at her hands. That was all she ever wanted as a mother, for her sons to be well and whole and good. 

“And he will be,” Eleanor said, grasping Meera’s hand in a sign of comfort. “He will be happy. He will find exactly what he’s missing. You just have to trust and believe, my dear. It’s all any of us can do.”

Meera nodded, deciding to believe that this would work, and to accept the older woman’s sage counsel, despite its fairytale influence. She wished that with this tiny little push in the right direction, her son would find his happiness with a woman of substance, and good will, and heart. From what they’d discovered, Meera truly believed such a love could be found with this one special woman, Emma Swan, and she only hoped that Killian and Emma were ready and willing to take a chance. But alas, nothing but time would tell, and now all they could do was wait and see…

Post-Note: So there we have it. It was a lot of background I know, about Killian and his family and his past. But I hope you’ll see a bit more of the world I’m building and that it will eventually add to the meeting CS will have coming in the next chapter. As for Killian’s meddling Mom and Gran… what can I say? I missed having some meddlers in my AUs. I have lots still left in store for this story, and as always I can’t wait to see what you guys think. Thanks again so much for reading, and I hope you all have a lovely rest of your day!

[dailyaudiobible]

01/31/2021 DAB Transcript

Exodus 12:14-13:16, Matthew 20:29-21:22, Psalms 25:16-22, Proverbs 6:12-15

Today is the 31st day of January welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is great to be here with you as we end and begin, right? So, we’re ending the first month of the year. Can you believe that exactly one month ago was December 31st and we were at the end of the year and just getting ready to launch on to this journey? Now we are a month in. It's gone quick, and there’s a lot…a lot that we have learned and I just…I mean the new year…I need…I needed the new year to come. And I think a lot of people did too, and I'm just really encouraged by what the Scriptures are speaking into our lives as we continue. So, we’re just marking this moment where we reached the end of our first month. Today's reading will end that first month and tomorrow we’ll be in the second month of the year. And it just goes and goes quickly, but it also goes at the pace that it needs to go out. So, I just want to tell you, well done. I mean we've been at…this is 31 days we can do this. If we’ve made it this far, we can…we can make this journey work. And, so, let's dive in. This is a brand-new shiny sparkly week that we are walking into and we will read from the Voice Translation this week, picking up the story of…well...Moses and Pharaoh and the enslaved Hebrew people. And God's full intention that is people are not going to be slaves anymore. And, so, we begin. Exodus chapter 12 verse 14 through 13 verse 16.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You, we thank You for Your word and we thank You for bringing us through this first full month in Your word for this voyage, the voyage of 2021. And we are…we have set sail and we are well on our way and we are grateful for the shifting that is beginning to take place. Like it's…it’s starting to become a rhythm and we’re starting to feel like we can do this and we’re a part of something. We are grateful for that. We invite Your Holy Spirit to lead us into all truth. This is one of the promises of the Scriptures, that You would lead us into all truth. That is what we are asking for, that is what we seek, that You would lead us on the pathways of truth, that You would lead us on what Jesus called the narrow path that leads to life, that we would embrace wisdom as…as a best friend and that we would walk the pathways of wisdom. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus we ask. Amen.

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And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi, my name is Desiree I'm a 13-year-old girl. I've been studying and recently found out my mom was a drug addict and now that I've seen so many things pass during my life when I was taken away from her at the age of 6 years old and went to my aunt and uncle's house which are now my new parents because I got adopted from them and I've been going through some rough times because of all the things that my mother has done like when I recently found out that she was a drug addict I just broke down and started crying and I…I couldn't believe what she did an…and the fact is that she wants to bring me or some other people and that…that's not really our fault and the fact is that she doesn't care. And I just wish that everything was the same, but I just asked for prayer that she just helps us. I mean God help us and please pray help and thank you.

Hey guys it's your brother from Indiana I'm just calling to just…just out of greatness just out of all the awesome __ right now. I just heard that Sean has recently came to Christ, you know, just this past year. He said he got baptized last Sunday. He's been reading the Bible. I just pray encouraging… just that…that…that the Holy Spirit would encourage you. Man that…that's amazing. I'm so glad and I'm so glad you're, you know, I'm just really glad and I pray a special blessings upon you and your future. You say you may want to go on mission trips. God's will be done. May you have eyes and ears to hear that. Also, By God's Grace I didn't hear the last part of that but Covid and breast cancer. That is a really traumatic experience, but you have the faith to know that God is our great physician. I pray that your family have increased faith, you would recognize the blessings around you being your family three beautiful daughters and I pray __ for your whole family, your husband, and man or girl, I…I'm sorry. Just blessings and for anyone that has depression especially teenagers, I'm just praying for you today that your eyes be lifted to God the maker of the heavens and the earth in Jesus’ name I'm praying. Thank you, guys. And girls. I love you.

Hi DAB family I have never actually called before but I did hear a prayer from By Your Grace Sherry and I just wanted to let you know that sometimes when we pray for God to increase our faith, He puts us in situations that essentially force us to have faith in Him that He will put us through. There is so much power in faith that we…that God wants us to be able to tap into. There is so much love and passion and Satan definitely wants to keep us from all of that. So, I just wanted to say keep on going. Sometimes what we ask for is certainty in faith rather than actual faith, but I will pray for you and I do hope that God will God will show you some amazing things during this time that you are, that you have to lean on him in order to get through this. So, I'll be praying for you.

Hello everybody my name is Josh and I've been listening for several years. I've never called because honestly, I rarely listen to the prayer request and the only reason I was listening today was because it was one of those rare occasions where I was actually running and I just couldn't reach my phone but as I was listening I heard Zealand Isabel from Georgia and they were so moved by her story I literally stopped in my tracks. She was explaining that she has a brain problem and that it has affected her right side and she has trouble with seizures and that she is looking for prayer from the Daily Audio Bible community. Zealand Isabel if you're listening, I want to tell you something about my family. I have two daughters on this earth. The oldest is 4 years old and was a twin. She and her sister were born really early, so early that one didn't make it out of the hospital, and she is with Jesus. Now the other one or the one who's for now, had a brain bleed that, like you, affected her right side. Today she would tell you that her right side just moves a little different, but I see how hard she works every day on things that I would otherwise take for granted. And I am sure that you work hard every day as well. I pray for my daughter each morning, that she would be healed but also that she would be strong and would know Jesus more she grows up. I pray for her to be like you. I want you to know for sure that you are strong, and I will be praying for you along with my daughter every day. I speak healing over you from the one who made you and pray blessings on you.

Hi, Macy here from Texas and…and I'm a new listener. I just turned 6 and I wanted to say I listen to you… to your bibles… to your Bible…to the Bible stories that you read to us so I…so I would…so I would like…so today I'm also listening to one too. So, and I love them too and I just wanted to say that. So, bye.

Hello this is Donna from California and recently a couple of people have called in that I just really, really some calls really touch you very deeply, they all do but these in particular did for me. There was a lady who called, and she has since had a lot of response. A lady who called in and said she had Covid and her husband had left her after 47 years of marriage. This broke my heart. And then another lady, Amy, from Canada called recently just expressing the loneliness and the…I too, didn't sign up to be single. I…I actually had been married. My marriage fell apart about 10 years ago. And I…I didn't sign up to be single. It's very difficult and then I understand people who are well meaning will quote things like “my grace is sufficient for you” and “delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart”, which are very well meaning and very true, but often it just rings hollow because sometimes that comes from people who are blessed with a good marriage. Not to sound bitter. But I just want to offer a quick prayer because I only have like less than 30 seconds. Dear Lord help…help those of us in this situation to believe you. Help us to really search deeply. What are the desires of my heart? My…my desires are for you. And why would I place them anywhere else? I don't know if that helps but I pray for you and I love you. Thank you for calling.

[veganfortheearthlings]

Hello Earthlings!

Today is February 6

I want to write something that I've been thinking a lot about lately. Before you read on I want to share:

> TRIGGER WARNING < mention of suicide! Some content may not be suitable for all readers and if that's the case please skip down the numbered list.

Today isn't a particularly significant day, but I realized it has been 26 months exactly since my brother passed away. Two years and two months. December 6th, 2017 was the last day my brother was alive. We didn't discover his body until two days later. After a blurry couple days of grieving the autopsy results came back:

Suicide by hanging

It was egregiously sudden. I knew my brother was going through some serious stuff but suicide??

I have my own history of suicidal thoughts and self harm in the deep dark abyss of depression and I turned to my brother for help or advice from time to time. I was finally beginning to emerge from the gripping darkness when my oldest sister picked me up from work. With my mom in the car they told me that the police had found my brother's body. The police immediately declared it a suicide and I knew in bones that wherever my brother was he wasn't happy with his decision.

It has been 26 months today since my brother took his life so today I hope I can help someone out by writing this list of "15 Reasons To Keep Living".

1.) The most said reason is surprisingly true. Things WILL get better! I remember those long nights where I'd drink alcohol and energy drinks in my bedroom at 3 am even though I had to be at work at 7 am. I cut. I drank hoping my organs would shut down or my heart would literally explode. I remember thinking it wouldn't get better, but I'm here typing this today because it did! Its hard and it's gonna hurt but I believe you can get through anything!

2.) Depression can seem lonely, like your friends and family care but they seem to keep you at arm's length. That's bullshit. If you're reading this I care about you. I've bled and been broken a thousand times and it's put me in a place where I can hopefully help you and I chose to take that chance. I am always available if you need someone to talk to :)

3.) You are the reason someone is happy! Have you ever seen a baby smile? The next time you're in a store and see a baby looking at you give them a smile. Most of the time they'll be super excited you even acknowledged them! It's the purest way to make someone else happy I've found to date.

4.) Animals. I'm vegan because I decided my existence shouldn't involve the exploitation of any other being. I have a cat (or to be honest my cat has a human) and she's delightfully sweet when I need her to be. Animals know when someone is hurting and most of them, if they're not predators, will try to show compassion. Just think of how many dogs you can make happy. If the noblest of species on this planet thinks you're worth love then maybe they're right!

5.) Books!

6.) Music!

7.) Foooood! Maybe you've lost all passion for things that used to make you happy. Books aren't as fun to read, your favorite music doesn't cheer you up, and food doesn't seem appetizing anymore. Or maybe they're an escape for you? If they are then that's a reason to keep living! Live to read new stories, hear new music, and try new foods!

8.) Maybe you haven't been able to travel and see more of the world. I know sometimes you might feel trapped in one place but opportunities to leave will present themselves in time. Suicide isn't an escape, it's a self made prison sentence that you can't escape from.

9.) Love. Okay here me out! Most people are lonely or just ended a relationship when they take their own life. I don't believe in God and I dont believe in heaven or hell but I do believe everyone in the world is compatible with someone! Not all love has to be romantic either. It could be love for a friend or even a pet. Maybe you haven't met yet but trust me please. They're there and they are waiting patiently to meet you!

10.) Art. I know I've always had an eye for art. 90% of the time I don't know what Im even looking but I appreciate all the time and energy that went into it! It opens the mind up to different cultures and different ways to do things. It might be poetry, music, sculpting, filmmaking, etc. People are coming up with new interesting stuff everyday and you can be there to enjoy it all.

11.) Little things. Petting a dog or a cat in your lap and hearing them purr. Brushing your teeth with your possible children. Snapchat filters. Singing in a goofy voice. Playing an instrument. Kindly buying someone else a drink out of the blue. Making a child smile. The little things you might have forgotten could be someone's precious memories of things you did.

12.) Regrets. You'll never get to have the satisfaction of saying you lived the life you wanted to live. My ideal life when I was depressed is nothing like the life I'm living now but that's because I changed as a person and now I've found happiness in simple things. I treasure life and I don't want to waste a second of it. Your life is precious and you should live it in a way that will make you truly happy.

13.) You can be a voice for others just like you. The world won't get any brighter if you turn off your light. My favorite inspirational quote goes like this:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness

That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

Your playing small

Does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking

We are all meant to shine,

As children do.

We were born to make manifest

It's not just in some of us;

It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we're liberated from our own fear,

Our presence automatically liberates others.

You can be a voice for the voiceless. You can be a whisper heard by the people who choose to ignore the screams of the suffering. One moment can change a day, one day can change a life, one life can change the world. That one can start with you.

14.) Nature. Humans aren't meant to be surrounded by concrete and steel. No being on this Earth can say their natural habitat is made in a factory or at a construction site. No, we are all primitive beings and nature is where our souls belong. Give yourself a reason to live by saying you're going to live how you are meant to live. School and 9-5 jobs weren't mother nature's inventions. I'm not saying quit school but there's always more to life than getting a piece of paper saying you're educated or having pieces of paper in your wallet with a made up value (money).

15.) You will never be able to see yourself smile again. Look in mirror. Chances are you might not like who you see. I certainly didn't. You have odd quirks and maybe disproportionate body parts. Maybe you have a tooth gap but that's what makes you original. There's no one else on this Earth with all the same qualities as you. I love you just the way you are. No make up and no shaving. You are naturally beautiful, it's the world who's ugly. If you took your life your uniqueness will leave this world. Don't become another statistic like my brother. I love him and he'll never be forgotten by me but the world will continue on. Only now he can't contribute and make my life or anyone else's life, including his own, any happier. You deserve to be happy. You deserve someone to fight deep and hard to show you that you deserve to be happy. I hope someday soon you'll see how special you are and you'll love yourself because you deserve the realest purest love there is.

Thank you so much for reading this! If this helped you in any way please like and leave a comment if you have any questions! I put a lot of time and thought into this today because I love you and I think you deserve to be genuinely happy and I hope you find the happiness you're looking for soon.

Anyways that's going to be it from me. I will be back again very soon. I hope you have a good rest of the day!

Bye-bye!

☮️💚🌎

[timehealsfanfictionbka]

Time Heals.....Chapter Thirty- Seven Pt. 1

Robyn felt different. She couldn’t really pinpoint why but she just knew something was different. She still hadn’t given Chris a clear answer on whether she was willing to try this relationship thing but he had been on his best behavior regardless. She had never taken the time to realize how much Chris’s life dominated their conversations. How much time she spent counseling and reassuring him. Hell, the first time he decided to call her when he moved back to Texas was for reassurance about his new job. She wasn’t going to pretend that she didn’t know why; when it came to Chris, that was the only time she felt like he needed or wanted her. The feeling of love never really transferred well beyond being his sounding board. Now things were a bit different, when he asked about her day, he didn’t speed past her saying it was ok to start talking about himself, he actually asked follow up questions, was a bit more persistent in actually caring what her day was about. It had only been a few weeks so she wasn’t jumping for joy just yet but the fact he’s even trying she’d give him a bit of credit for. Now she was waiting for it to be consistent; the first time he feels impatient with her would really tell the true story. He could just be waiting her out, hoping that she’d back down and just be the way he wants. She thought about it but the feeling never sat right with her, putting her trust him had never been easy and considering their most recent history with Tiana and such, it was becoming even harder. She told him about how his lack of effort with Tiana came off to Tiana but she never went deeper into the impression of him that it gave to her. She felt like she was back in high school again, watching him run through Shelly, Mercedes, Carmen etc.; a bunch of girls giving their all for him to give them nothing but a Coke and a smile, just to up and leave when he got ready. He was a girl-magnet and they all seemed ready to fall at his feet; unfortunately, she was one of them. Chris did whatever and she forgave him. His overprotectiveness stalled her teenage love life meanwhile he had girlfriend after girlfriend and yet she never said a word. He just had this undeniable aura that drew you in and held you hostage but it felt so good you never felt like it was a hostage situation until you actually wanted to be free. Trying to free yourself of Chris’s charm was more of you fighting yourself than him, which is more difficult than people could imagine. It took him breaking her heart to break his hold on her and a part of her wasn’t sure she was strong enough to get back into the ring with him. She wanted to trust him but she saw what happened once you do trust him and it just doesn’t seem worth it yet.

“Liz, can you hold my calls for the next hour? I need some peace after those meeting this morning,” Robyn said through the intercom to her secretary.

“Yes Robyn. Are you ordering lunch soon?”

“Yes, I’ll take care of it though. Are you going out for lunch?”

“Just to the cafeteria.”

“Take an extra hour when you go.”

“Oh, thank you.”

“No problem.”

Robyn pulled her hair back into a ponytail then pressed the button that dropped the motorized curtain over her office door. She went to her closet and pulled out a blanket and a travel pillow before moving over to her couch. She had been in meetings since she got to her office and it was going on 12:30 in the afternoon. Nothing she hated more than the day before budget deadlines.

Chris frowned as her phone rang repeatedly before sending him to voicemail.

“She might be in a meeting,” he murmured to himself as he walked into her office building. He stopped at the service desk to sign in. The security guard reviewed his ID as he signed in before directing him to the elevators. Chris nodded his head in thanks as he pressed the up button on the elevator. It stopped on the tenth floor and Chris walked over to Liz’s desk, “Hi Liz, is she in?”

“She’s in but taking a long lunch. Do you want me to check if she’s available for you.”

“If you can. I don’t want to disturb her.”

“No problem.”

Chris waited as Liz knocked on the office door. A few moments passed before it opened and Robyn stood in the doorway, “Hey you. Something wrong?”

“No, I had something for you but if you’re busy it can wait.”

“No, it’s fine.I was just taking a break. Come in.”

Robyn stepped back as Chris walked into her office. She looked at the clock then at Liz, “you can go to lunch now if you want. No rush if you want to wait until 1 like usual.”

“I gotta finish up the memo from your meeting earlier so I’ll leave at one.”

“Ok.”

Robyn went inside and closed her office door.

Chris was leaning against her desk as Robyn went back to her couch, “you ok, Babe?”

“I’m ok. Tired. Been in meetings since 7:30 this morning up until about 15 minutes ago.”

“I’m sorry. I should’ve came at another-”

Robyn waved him off as she interjected, “it’s fine. I like seeing you. What’d you need to talk to me about?”

“I actually wanted to give you these,” Chris replied as he held an envelope in his hand, “I didn’t want to assume you’d want to go together but I figured I’d ask.”

Robyn leaned forward to take the envelope, “What is it?”

“Just something I thought you might like to go to.”

“Have a seat. You standing is making me feel awkward.”

Chris chuckled and sat down in the chair next to her couch as Robyn opened the envelope, “So what you think?”

“I think you’re more multifaceted than I assumed.  A museum?”

“It’s a grand opening and my boss is apart of the committee and gave me tickets to the opening gala.”

“I think your boss likes you.”

“She’s a beautiful woman but God no.”

Robyn laughed, “at least you didn’t try and play it off like she wasn’t attractive.”

“We’ve been getting along so well, no need to ruin that over something so trivial. So what you think?”

“You really wanna bring me around your big wig supervisors?”

“There’s nobody else that I’d want by my side than you.”

Robyn smiled, “flirting with me already.”

“I’m always flirting with you.”

“Ok, Mr. Charming. What’s the attire?”

“Black tie. Formal. Along those lines.”

“It's next weekend.”

“Yea.”

‘Chris, how long have you had these tickets?”

“Honestly? A few weeks.  So much happened so fast and I didn’t want you to feel like I was trying to rush you or anything then I was trying to find the right time to ask and  now here we are.”

“Come here,” Robyn patted a spot next to her on the couch and Chris moved to sit beside her, “you seem so nervous.”

“This is a big step considering our uncertain status.”

“Uncertain status?”

“We haven’t exactly established that we’re in a relationship, just dating.”

“Dating is a clear status, it indicated exclusivity. I’m not seeing anybody else.”

“Neither am I, it’s just- I don’t know, dating doesn’t sound that permanent.”

“What it sounds like doesn’t matter as what it exactly is. It feels permanent to me, what would make it feel more permanent to you?”

“Not sure. I think I’m just scared about you changing your mind.”

“You haven’t given me a reason to change my mind so why would I?”

“I don’t know. This is new to me.”

“Sadly enough, I know. I watched you run through girl after girl with no problems as a teenager; ain’t never had to work this hard before.”

“I can take hard work, I just never felt this unsure about anything.”

“That happens when there are real consequences to your actions, it just means you’ve become more self-aware of what you say and do.”

“I definitely have.”

“You’re growing, Chris and once you get to be the complete man that you wish to be, you won’t even remember how uncomfortable it was getting there.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem. So you got a color in mind?”

“I’m partial to Black.”

“Black I can do. So what you doing after this?”

“Nothing. I had a half day and decided to take advantage of it.”

“You wanna spend my lunch time with me? I ain't gonna do anything but take a long nap but-”

“I could use a nap.”

“Think this couch can hold both of us.”

“We might have to squeeze together a little bit but it should work.”

Robyn giggled, “you lay down first because you’re bigger than me.”

Chris tugged off his jacket and tossed onto the nearby chair before lying down on the couch. Robyn put the envelope with the tickets on her desk before returning to lay down next to Chris on the couch. She shifted a few times before Chris tugged her on top of him and pulled the blanket over them, “baring too much movement from you, we should be good and keep this PG13.”

Robyn laughed, “you don’t get hard that easy.”

“With you, nothing is a guarantee.”

“Oh. Ok.”

Robyn sighed as she wrapped her arms around him as far as they would go and Chris did the same to her, “I didn’t realize how much I needed this but I’m glad you’re here.”

“Whenever you want me. I’m just a phone call away, you know?”

“I know.”

Chris kissed her temple as he smoothed his hands along her back, “I love you, Robyn.”

“I love you too, VA.”

                                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wait Mommy, if you’re going on a date with Daddy, where are we going?” Erica asked as they sat with Robyn at the kitchen table. They had just finished dinner and Robyn wanted to let the girls know that she wouldn’t be home this weekend.”

“Well, Mama Joyce said she would watch you until me and your dad gets home from the gala. Chris is gonna pick you up and bring you to his house Sunday morning since it’ll be late by the time we get back.”

“You’re spending the night at Daddy’s house again?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Ooooooo,” Erin said with an arch of her brow, “we’re not getting any more siblings, are we?”

“No, that’s a big jump from a simple date, Ms. Erin.”

“I mean it can happen right?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“You want us to have another baby?”

“Yea. Daddy needs a son.”

“Well what about me?”

“Well it’d be your son too.”

Robyn chuckled, “I knew I should’ve left that part out.”

“It’s ok. Seriously, we’re really happy you and Daddy are working things out,” Erica interjected, “you both seem a lot happier.”

“I don’t want you to get your hopes up for anything, we’re just seeing how things play out for right now.”

“That’s better than nothing so we’ll take it.”

Robyn smiled as Erica leaned into her arm, “y’all have been really waiting for this to happen, huh?”

“Well once Daddy got divorced, we figured it wouldn’t be a horrible idea if you and him decided to go out.”

“Would you have said anything if we had never told you?”

“Not to you and Daddy but yea.”

“Wait a minute, who else are y’all spoken to about me and your Daddy dating?”

“Mama Joyce and Mama Fenty mainly.”

“You told your Mama Fenty?”

“Yea, she said she was gonna wait until you called and told her before she said anything since she didn’t want us to get in trouble for telling.”

“So if those two know that means the entire family knows.”

“Pretty much.”

Robyn shook her head, “so much for taking it slow and private.”

“Mommy, if you and Daddy get married, are you gonna actually change your last name this time?”

“I don’t know. We’d have to talk about that if it happens.”

“Why didn’t you change your name to Daddy Michael’s last name?”

“Because of you, y’all had my last name so I figured it’d be easier for legal purposes to just keep my maiden name.”

“Oh.”

“Besides it seemed weird for you both to have the last name Fenty while me and Michael had a different last name.”

“Well are you gonna change our names now?”

“Speaking of that, your Dad was wondering if you were opposed to taking his last name. He’s in the process of getting your birth certificates updated and figured he’d kill two birds with one stone so to speak.”

“So our last names would be Brown?”

“Yup.”

“That’s fine with me. Erin?”

“I’m fine with it.”

“Good. I’ll let him know that. As for this whole date night thing, I know y’all will be fine at Mama Joyce’s house but just in case you need either of us.”

“Mommy, we can handle this. I know you haven’t been on a lot of dates in a long time before it’s no different than when we visit Mama Joyce any other time.”

“That is true.”

“Are you excited?”

“I am. A little nervous too.”

“Why?”

“As you said I haven’t done this a lot.”

“Did you date a lot when you were younger?”

“Not really.”

“Was Daddy your first boyfriend?”

“No but I didn’t have many.”

“Did Daddy date a lot?”

Robyn chuckled, “A lot might not be descriptive enough. Let’s just say your Daddy had a lot of girls falling all over themselves for him.”

“Well he is cute.”

“Your Dad is very cute.”

“Glad you think so.”

Robyn turned around at the sound of Chris’s voice, “what are you doing here?”

Erin and Erica ran over to hug him and Chris grabbed them tight.

“That’s quite a hello.”

Robyn tilted her head and Chris laughed, “Hi Christopher. What are you doing here?”

“Hi Robyn. I came to see my girls. Hope I’m not interrupting.”

“Nope, just after dinner conversation.”

“Nice, can I join?”

“Sure, if you have something relevant to contribute.”

“I think I can manage that.”

“Daddy, are you staying the night?” Erin asked.

“No, I just wanted to see you guys. I missed you this week.”

“We missed you too, Daddy.” Erica replied, “we were talking about your date tomorrow. Are you ready?”

“As ready as I can be but this isn’t something totally new to me and your mom.”

“It’s not. This isn’t your first date?”

“No. Why would you-” Chris looked over at Robyn and she was shaking her head, “your mom never told you about our other dates?”

“Other dates? How many?”

“Like two or three. You didn’t know?”

“I didn’t tell them. We were still in the building stages technically,” Robyn interjected

“Wow Mommy and I thought we talked about everything,” Erica replied.

Robyn shook her head as she grabbed Erica’s hand, “when I felt it was necessary then we would’ve talked about it. Things weren’t serious yet. No need to take it personal.”

“So are they serious now?”

“I told you about this date, didn’t I?”

“Do you love each other?”

“Erica, maybe-” Chris started to talk but Robyn interrupted, “yes, we love each other but relationships are to be built on a lot more than that. We don’t want to get too far ahead of ourselves, ok?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“You girls go get ready for bed, we’ll be up in a minute to say goodnight.”

“Ok.”

They each hugged their parents before leaving out of the kitchen. Robyn turned to Chris and leaned into one of her hands, “I thought you weren’t gonna make it over here tonight.”

“I told you that I would try.”

“That you did. How are you?”

“I’m great. How are you?”

“I’m ok.”

“Something wrong?”

“The girls asked if we were gonna have another baby.”

“Oh.”

“Yea and they asked if we get married if I was changing my last name.”

“Oh. They were getting kind of deep once you told them about our date.”

“Uh yea. Oh they are ok with changing their last names.”

“That’s great. I can send the paperwork into my attorney tomorrow then.”

“You mad at me?”

“About what?”

“Me not telling them about our previous dates.”

“Not mad. A little hurt but I understand.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you, I just didn’t want to say something and things go left, that’s all.”

“I understand besides I’ve been known to jump the gun a little bit anyway so it was probably best they didn’t know until we were both ready.”

“That was my logic, it really wasn’t personal.”

“I know. It’s fine.”

“You really drove over here to see them for five minutes?”

“Them and you. Five minutes is better than no minutes.”

“True but you could’ve Facetimed us or something.”

“Not the same.”

“Close enough.”

“Close but no cigar.”

“And what exactly do you get out of a face to face that you don’t get from a Facetime call?”

Chris arched his brow, “You really wanna know because I can show you better than I can tell you?”

“I’m asking you, aren’t I?”

“Come here.”

Robyn got up and walked over to Chris, who pulled her into his lap. She wrapped her arm around his neck as he settled his hand over her waist.

“For starters, I definitely can’t hold you through Facetime.”

“True.”

“And I definitely can’t kiss you either.”

“True but you haven’t done that yet.”

“I’m getting there.”

Robyn traced her fingertip along one of his earlobes, “you smell good.”

“Thank you. You using my lines on me?”

“It’s not a line when it's the truth.”

“Are you flirting with me?”

“Are you my man?”

“Yes.”

“Then there’s your answer.”

“Oh, so that’s how we feeling this evening.”

“Something like that. Can I have my kiss now?”

“You can take it whenever you want.”

“Don’t tempt me, I might surprise you.”

Chris’s brow went up and Robyn laughed. She leaned and pecked his lips three separate times before pulling back and running her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, “you spending the night?”

“Do you want me to?”

“I would like you to but it’s up to you.”

“Considering I have my clothes for tomorrow already in my car, I will take you up on that offer. Couch or your room?”

“We can sleep in the same bed. We can’t really get into too much trouble especially with the girls here.”

“You really don’t want to find out how much trouble we can get into, I have my ways.”

“We’re not there yet.”

“I know, just saying I can get us there whenever you’re ready.”

“Maybe we should change the subject. This is supposed to stay PG13 and we have a date tomorrow.”

“Does the date have to be PG13?”

“Might change it to NG17 depending on the night.”

“I like my odds then.”

Robyn chuckled, “you plan this?”

“Nope. I really did just come to see you guys then go home. My clothes are only in the car because I picked them up from the dry cleaners earlier.”

“Oh ok.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“I believe you. I’d tell you if I didn’t.”

“Ok. Ready to say goodnight?”

“Yea. You wanna tell them you’re staying or no?”

“We can tell them, they’ll find out in the morning anyway.”

Robyn got up and took Chris’s hand before they upstairs to the Twins bedroom. Erin and Erica were each sitting on their respective beds as Chris and Robyn walked into the room.

“Everybody brush their teeth and everything?”

“Yes Ma’am,” Erica and Erin replied simultaneously.

“Y’all are holding hands, is Daddy staying the night?” Erica asked.

“Yes, he is so he’ll be here in the morning.”

“Can we sleep with you guys then?” Erin asked.

Robyn looked at Chris, “what you think?”

“It’s fine with me.”

“Then come on you two.”

“Yes!” Erica exclaimed.

Robyn and Chris laughed as they left the room with both girls following behind them. Erin and Erica climbed into Robyn’s bed as Robyn went to her closet. She dug around for a few minutes before handing Chris some basketball shorts and a t-shirt, “clearly you’ve been here a lot if I got your clothes in my closet.”

“More like you’ve been in my closet a lot and keep forgetting to return what you borrow.”

“Whatever.”

Chris left into the bathroom as Robyn moved to climb in the side of the bed beside Erica, “y’all were waiting up just to see if he was staying, weren’t you?”

“Yea. We like when we’re all together, right Erin?”

“Yup. It’s always better when Daddy’s here too.”

“I’m glad you love having him around. Ok, Erica scoot over a little bit more.”

Erica moved closer to her sister just as Chris came out of the bathroom. He looked at the three women in the bed, “Robyn, we gotta get you a bigger bed.”

Robyn laughed, “nah, we just have giant kids.”

“That too. Alright girls move over so Daddy can have some room.”

Erin and Erica both moved to the right side of the bed and shock covered Robyn’s face as Chris climbed in the bed behind her, “What are you doing?”

“Getting comfortable.”

Chris turned off the light as he spooned Robyn’s body, “Goodnight Ladies.”

                                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robyn tossed her duffle bag onto Chris’s bed before plopping down the loveseat across from it, “you ever plan on back into your master bedroom?”

“I have to redecorate it since I finally gutted the room.”

“Gutted? You got rid of everything?”

“Yea. All the walls have been primed in white and there’s no furniture left.”

“Wow. I thought you were just gonna a get new bed or something.”

“That was the plan but by the time I finished cleaning everything up, I just decided to start over from scratch.”

“Oh. You got anybody coming to look over it, I can recommend an interior designer?”

“Nah, not yet. I was thinking about doing it myself but I’m not the best at picking colors and stuff.”

“Oh, it’s easy.”

“You wanna help me?”

Robyn shrugged her shoulders, “I’ll think about it.”

“That’s better than a no. We got some time we have to get dressed, what you want to do?”

“Nap.”

“You’ve been sleeping a lot lately.”

“I’ve been working late a lot lately.”

“At the office or-“

“At home. I only work late at the office if I have someone to watch the girls.”

“What’s going on?”

“Two big construction project bids were won, now we gotta work like hell to meet the requirements. I advised against taking on two big projects at once but no one wanted to listen to me so now I have to juggle the budget to make it feasible and considering we can’t back out because it’ll be a major loss, I’ve been running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to find money.”

“Wow.”

“Yea, so it’s been stressful.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I could’ve helped you out.”

“There wasn’t really much for you to do but I appreciate the offer.”

“Now you know I could’ve brought the girls to my house so you wouldn’t have to keep bringing work home. I know how much you don’t like having to do that.”

“I know but its part of what I signed up for unfortunately, besides it’s not that big of a deal. I’ll figure it out, I always do.”

“You don’t have to do it by yourself, you know?”

“I know and I’m not doing it by myself. This is everyday shit. It is what it is.”

Chris sighed, “well then you definitely need to take a nap. I’ll set an alarm to wake you up. What time?”

“What time we leaving?”

“Seven.”

“You can set it for five then. That’ll give me enough time to shower and do my hair.”

“Alright.”

Chris moved Robyn’s bag onto the floor beside the bed and pulled back the covers, “you go ahead and rest, I’ll give you some peace and quiet.”

“You’re welcome to stay with me, if you want.”

“I’ll come back later. I need to do something first.”

“Ok.”

Robyn walked over and kissed him, “see you in a few hours.” 

She climbed into the bed and pulled the covers up to her neck. Chris winked at her before closing the curtains and turning off the lights, “have a good nap, Babe.”

“Thank you.”

Chris left out the room, cracking the door behind him.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Robyn reached around in the dark without opening her eyes to turn off the alarm. She groaned as her hand couldn’t find it to turn it off. She sat up and stared right into Chris’s face. He smiled as he turned off the alarm using his phone, “Hey you.”

“How long you’ve been sitting there?”

“Like two minutes. Ready to get up?”

“I guess,” she said with a yawn.

“The shower is on. Towels and stuff are sitting on top of the toilet cover. Your garment bag and stuff is hanging up on the outside of the closet. You need anything else?”

“Nope, that should be all.”

“Alright. See you in a little bit.”

“Thanks VA.”

“No problem, Baby.”

Chris hummed lowly to the music coming from his phone as he lined up the nape of his neck. He pulled one of his curls and frowned as it bounced back, “might be time to cut my hair.”

“I hope not. I love your hair.”

Chris turned around and smiled at Robyn as she stood in the doorway of the hall bathroom, “that’s the only reason why I haven’t cut it but it’s getting a bit long.”

Robyn shrugged as she reached up to twirl a curl around her finger, “you look cute with curls though.”

“I probably won’t cut it off completely, just shorter.”

“Eh, that’s ok, I guess.”

Chris chuckled, “you ready?”

“I’m not even dressed. I’m definitely not wearing a robe.”

“Oh, I thought maybe you had your dress on under the robe, that’s all.”

“No. I need your help putting it on.”

“Oh, just give me a few minutes.”

“Don’t rush on my account, we got some time.”

“I was finished anyway.”

Chris turned off his clippers and washed his hands, “let’s get you into this dress.”

Robyn turned and Chris followed her down the hall to his bedroom. She sat down on the bed as Chris opened the garment bag and carefully removed it from around her dress.

“Wow, this is beautiful,” Chris murmured.

“Thank you. I gotta be around your people, guess I should pull out all the stops.”

“You can pull them out at anytime if they look like this.”

Robyn giggled, “alright let's get this done.”

Robyn stood up and dropped the robe onto the bed. Chris’s eyebrow raised at her undergarments or lack thereof, “you should really warn me before you stand topless in my bedroom.”

Robyn scoffed, “I’ve been naked in front of you already, don’t be so dramatic.”

“I’m not. I just wasn’t expecting you to be wearing so little.”

“I have on nipple covers and underwear, definitely more than so little.”

“Whatever you say.”

Chris took the velvet hanger out the dress and moved to place it over Robyn’s hair. It slid over her easily, the hem stopping right at her calves. Robyn shifted her leg, opening the slit that went from calf to mid-thigh. The fabric conformed to her body as if she was sewn into it as Chris zipped up the back of the dress. The sharp v in the bodice accentuated her medium breasts as the corset-like boning accentuated her smaller waist. Chris stepped back as she bent down to slide on her pumps. Robyn ran her hands over her straightened hair before turning to Chris, “what do you think?”

“You look incredible.”

“Thank you.”

“A part of me wants to show you off but another part of me wants to keep you in the house to myself.”

Robyn chuckled, “now that’s a compliment I like to hear. How about we do both? We shut the party down then have our own private party when we get back.”

“You wanna make this a short night?”

“Yea, I think I have an idea for something a bit more fun than hobnobbing with the rich.”

“Hmm…you’ve already made plans?”

“I’ve made some calls to some friends. I think it’s something you might like if I remember your old hobbies correctly.”

“Now you have me intrigued.”

Robyn smiled, “good. First, let’s get to this party. Did I leave my coat in your car?”

“Yea, it’s on the back of the passenger seat.”

“Ok cool. You ready to go?”

“After you.”

Chris held open the door and Robyn walked out of the bedroom with Chris right behind her.

[kuntrabida]

2. the axon snaps and thoughts can’t travel (a rant abt COVID-19, senior year spring, and college in the fall)

12 may 2020

the gap year. the fall sem. the jump cut. the FUTURE. much on my mind right now folks lmao (prob folk in singular since like one (1) person’s gonna read this ashvcxjkv)

okay so let’s break this DOWN ig. yea LET’S unpack my inner psyche and my mental baggage at this point because i’m sure that i can’t be the only one feeling this way and even if i am, i’d like to get it off my chest and not rant to the same five people who’ve heard me talk about the same sad subject throughout the entire duration of quarantine asdjfkvcxufdsw

let’s start with senior year haHA :) still haven’t gotten over that xoxo even tho i’ve tricked myself into thinking that i have! gonna refer to it as ye olde Jump Cut because that’s exactly what all this feels like... like mother nature just threw the video file of my high school experience into a fuckinn Premiere timeline or smth and slammed her fist on the W key (an esoteric reference, i know, i know, my bad, but iykyk). 

THE JUMP CUT – senior year’s over and i know it’s a stupid fucking thing to be upset about during a LITERAL GLOBAL PANDEMIC where people are losing and risking their lives and entire livelihoods are being upended but i still... can’t help but feel upset and terrified and devastated about what i’ve always viewed as this buffer period in my life between high school and college to just VIBE and figure myself out a little bit more being cut short. especially when, for once, things were going so well.  

god, the last thing i wanna do is sound dramatic and utterly tone deaf because I RECOGNIZE my privilege and how incredibly fortunate i am to have a roof over my head and food in my fridge and a bed with a damn duvet cover to sleep in at night but i’m... so fucking sad. i’ve BEEN so fucking sad, and i think what’s even worse is the fact that i’ve been DENYING how fucking sad i’ve been feeling because i don’t think i’m... allowed to be sad in this situation? but at the same time i consciously understand that my feelings are valid and everything... it just feels like legitimately everything else in the world right now dwarfs all my concerns combined. but alas. here i am, making a blog post about my feelings to finally try and sort them out...

i just aghsdfhxhzjlk i wasn’t finished. that really is the best way to put it. i wasn’t finished with any of it. and i suppose a lot of that is my own fault for taking all the good times for granted (but also lowkey the fault of idek who... american society? for romanticizing and commodifying the culmination of high school oop)/

i feel like so many people focus on those big milestone events associated with senior year: prom, graduation, senior awards, etc. but to me personally, and to nearly every one of the friends i’ve talked to, it’s the little things that matter most — the absence of which we feel the deepest. i miss spilling coffee on myself in the cafeteria and burning frozen pastries in the toasters and complimenting people’s outfits in the hallways and staying in the building from dawn till dusk and eating takeout on the floor and hastily texting my friends at the end of the school day asking if they wanted to hang out or if they could give me a ride home and i MISS spontaneous sushi and starbucks excursions and quiet heart to hearts in coffee shops and last minute target runs and stressing out about music events and belting in the practice rooms and learning choreography in parking lots where confused drivers would momentarily glance over and just KEEP ON DRIVING and lying on the ground in one of the school’s hallways facing the sun when the light would hit JUST RIGHT through the glass and i could close my eyes and pretend i was at the beach or on an island or in a canyon somewhere or SOMETHING, anywhere, anywhere but there. and i feel this chasm in my throat whenever i think about it because looking back at those moments, i realize that there’s literally no place i’d rather be right now than inside my high school building on a normal ass day dealing with normal ass problems with exceptional, radiant, life-giving souls there to have my back and support me and hug me wow, GOD, hug me. wow how i miss hugs. and I miss my friends. shit. 

hell bro i even miss the days where everything would become a little too much for me and i’d have to find recluse in a digital media classroom and the scent of old lemon-laced coffee grounds as they brewed into dingy styrofoam cups and wandered through the halls with me during the period, into the music room where i literally grew UP and found my voice and discovered validity in my own identity and all that JAZZ and into the bathrooms where i’d spend such subtle, unsuspecting mornings with friends still practically sleepwalking and FUCK bro. frankly i’m just not ready to jump into a life where all the things i hold dear are “remember when”s. i can’t imagine this entire world that i’ve built for myself being a thing of the past, a thing that i’ll look back on as one of the best fucking times of my life even though i never realized it when it mattered, a thing i still want so so so much more of, that i am not and may not ever be ready to let go. i want it all back. but i know getting upset over it is a futile pursuit, because there’s nothing i can do, and that just fuels this feedback cycle of anger and hopelessness and denial and back again. 

i do think of that good ol’ winnie the pooh quote, though. “how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” but it doesn’t really make anything hurt any less. and i guess i’m just tired of hurting lol. 

THE FUTURE – dawg what the fuck is happening with colleges in the United States right now bro what is the protocol what do i DO¿

pretty damn self explanatory. my defense mechanism has ALWAYS been, “at least things will be better a couple months from now!!!!” and yeah, with university and the reality of getting to attend my dream college fast approaching i did believe that for a hot second but CORONA DAWG CORONA just plunges everything into the sea of uncertainty. i know i’m not the only one frustrated by this damn virus and i should be comforted by the unity we all have in our confusion but lmao i do not feel any better! no! one! has! any! answers! asdjfkvlcxvjl being a graduating high school and incoming college student right now is so FUCKING confusing and frightening and once again i want to acknowledge what an incredible privilege it is to even have the option of a higher education open to me but it’s such a multifaceted and unpredictable issue this year and thinking about the future — again my go-to defense mechanism and at the very least a worthy consideration since i’ll be putting down hella dollars for it — has been the cause of so much stress... 

THE FALL SEM – i! don’t! know! if! it’s! gonna! be! on!line! and i am not planning on staying in my house any longer for a goddamn variety of reasons soo i have no clue how to plan for this! no one does right now! 

our administration keeps affirming that we’re planning for a return to normalcy in the fall semester but a considerable amount of students and experts alike are saying that it’s essentially a cover so no one’ll panic and decline or defer their acceptances. SO MANY OTHER COLLEGES are revealing their contingency plans to have an online semester and ahaHA if i have to STAY in this HOUSE for ANOTHER 4 MONTHS that would FRICKIN SUCK DAWG lmaO i’ll leave it at that! so i’m: very much panicking! 

i know that things are so uncertain right now and there’s really no point in trying to predict what’s going to happen in the next couple of months because so many unknowns remain. i know that a lot of universities are gonna be in deep shit if they don’t open in the fall but at the same time, if it’s a damn public health risk it’s definitely better to keep as many people home as possible. but i have no CLUE what institutions are gonna end up doing and again, literally no one does either! i was listening to a podcast yesterday about university plans for the upcoming academic year and i got asdhvjckxv so stressed when they said that we could be one week away from the start of the school year and things could still be drastically different the next week... there’s just no way of knowing much of anything and god i hate that. it’s making me so goddamn anxious. 

i really doubt things are going to be back to normal in New York in the fall sooo...? i don’t know man again it comes down to asking people questions they don’t have the answers to and that’s just incredibly frustrating because i just want to know ONE THING for certain right now. ONE THING! idk i just wish that my college would be a little more transparent about their plans as they move along and figure things out but i know that’s not feasible. at the very least i hope things will be safe enough for them to make dorming on campus an option — freshmen have a pretty ample amount of singles available anyway. but if i have to spend the first semester of college onLINE in THIS HOUSE that’s... gonna suck. especially because i’m still probably going to be paying thousands of dollars for it which is, as my grandmother says, foul! 

THE GAP YEAR – to defer or not to defer? that is the question. 

so naturally in preparation for a potentially wonky ass academic year i’m considering deferring enrollment. but lmao... the deadline to do so is in uh *checks watch* three (3) literal days so. don’t know about that chief! 

like, i know i’m PROBABLY NOT gonna end up taking a gap year. but i guess it’s just the fact that i have so much more canvas space to daydream about it that makes it so appealing... there are so many more possibilities that i can think of that are more likely to be open to me. then again, nothing’s guaranteed. not even my own health in the fall. which is also pretty fuckin scary as hell.

y’all wanna know where i get my gap year daydream fuel? UNJADED JADE. bruh i’ve been binging her videos like MAD especially the ones where she interrails Europe during her gap year and UGH. it seems incredible. and that makes things even more confusing because i really don’t know what the right decision to make is right now. to defer or not to defer... 

again it’s all so heavily influenced by unknowns. of all the things that could happen, i’d much prefer to have a regular freshman year fall with the people in my class whom i’ve already been getting to know pretty well through groupchats and social media and the like. they’re a pretty dope bunch and i think college with them is gonna be a hoot and a goddamn half. but if i’ll end up just staying home and watching zoom lectures in my basement anyway... i’d much rather be taking a gap year. 

and i’ve been brainstorming what i’d do during this gap year (again, thanks Unjaded Jade for the god-tier content agh) and there’s just like... so many options. i could get a goddamn JOB and start saving up for tuition instead of paying tens of thousands for online school. hell with the money i make working full time i could probably save up enough to afford an apartment so at the very least i could move out of my house into a place where i feel more comfortable. and lmao I: s a l i v a t e at the thought of using that time to focus on my writing, too. the amount of writing i could get done in a year of empty calendar space... glorious. what an utterly glorious prospect. 

and of course, i’d love to fucking travel, volunteer (with a reputable and well-intentioned organization) in a foreign country, do a workstay abroad, take a train across america, but again, i don’t even know if any of that’s going to be feasible in the fall. it’s so FRUSTRATING because i’ll think of a possibility and then another one comes in and completely shuts the former down. 

and it’s not like i can ask anyone for advice right now because we’re ALL none the wiser. plus, i’ve realized that frankly, even if it’s unreasonable, i don’t want anyone to tell me that my plans for a gap year aren’t feasible. it’s such a petulant thing to say... but i don’t want anyone to add to my sense of there being a limited amount of options that i can take advantage of because everything’s already so goddamn stifling as is. i guess the prospect of a gap year excites me so much because it seems like a year where i don’t have to be defined by anyone or anything but myself. and that’s so fucking liberating. 

i just want the freedom to imagine right now because that’s when i feel happiest, but at the same time i’m afraid to get my hopes up for anything because i have this sinking feeling that the absolute worst case scenario is going to become reality. lmao. people in my state aren’t even fucking social distancing correctly so i’m damn sure that we’re in for a second and a third wave and that’s gonna suck but people are stupid as hell :)  

lol on that positive note, thanks for reading this... increasingly depressing and chaotic rant. don’t really think i’m doing this “blog” stuff right but if you got this far, i love you. leave a note if you so please, comment your thoughts, reblog if you’d like (still don’t really understand the difference between reblogging and reposting on this app but lmao feel free to click the boxy arrow thing), and stay safe and healthy and all that jazz <3

[harveywritings92]

One sided friendship Batboys series:Dick Grayson X Reader. p 1/2

The following is a non profit fan based story Batman, Red hood, Nightwing etc. belongs to DC Comics please support the official release.

_

I gain no profit from this nor do I own anything other then OCs  and whatever sprouts from my imagination. Thanks for reading!

Your POV:

"Ah...what happened last night?..." My voice croaked God my mouth tasted awfu, my whole body feels like it went through the spin-cycle...I gotta hurl! I groaned as my joints pop and body protested from standing up, I sigh wincing in pain as sunlight shined my eyes in from the tiny cracks from the curtain, Wait my window isn't that big? 

I swallowed and got up from the bed walked over to the window and drew back the curtain to reveal...Niagara Falls?! that seem snapped me awake faster than a hamster on coffee! 

*When...How did I get to Canada?!* then I noticed what I was wearing a gray button up shirt...a man's button up shirt...My heart was rattling in my rib-cage as I finally got a good look around the room. it was obviously at the Casino...

And I wasn't alone I saw a passed out redheaded man passed out on the floor..in my dress! I'd be laughing right now if I wasn't freaking out! I went to run a hand through my hair and I saw a tiny glint in the corner of my eye...It was ring a wedding ring...my stomach churned as I looked over to Whats-his name and saw a similar ring on his finger too...

"What the shit?" I croaked sobbingly before I was harshly interrupted by the contents of my stomach decided to remind me what I had for dinner the other night, and ran to the bathroom. While making friends with the porcelain throne...I tried to piece together how I got here...

It was all because of Richard 'Effin' Grayson! we used to be thick as thieves, but then he started noticing girls! every time he would go out meet some girl and he'd fall for her, shower her with attention and gifts and then she'd get fed up with him ditching their dates, due to his nightly activities and he go crying to me..the stupid girl who was dumb enough to hold on what little hope I had, that he'd notice me and my feelings. But no, every time I had the courage to speak to him about it...

I'd run into him while he was on a date or introduce me to his new girlfriend and the cycle would start all over again! Which was totally unfair! He can date around and ignore me, but if a guy ever shows a sliver of interest in me. He gets all pissy and tells them to back off or sabotage my dates! and recently he started obsessing over some girl he'd seen at one Bruce's gala...

As Dick described her: she had e/c, glossy [long/short] hair and nice [full/petite.] figure for a small fleeting moment I though he was talking about me...only to be introduced to [similar sounding name] at an old classmate's wedding that the two of us were kind of friends with, and the crazy thing is? 

SS/n looked exactly like me only with a nicer figure,perfect height darker/lighter hair and eyes and dressed more provocatively then me...that was the worst fucking blow to my heart. 

Dick was pretty much telling me that he's wants someone like me...but not Me. After that I remember getting into my car and just drove off, I didn't care where... I just had leave! I had to get away from Gotham, from Bludhaven from Dick, everything...

I vaguely remember checking my phone for flights and came across an ad for Niagara falls...Well I did have vacation days, And Bruce has been badgering me to take some time off. taking a risk I submitted my vacation time and list of temps to cover for me while I'm gone and booked the first available flight which was in four hours and just drove to the airport. 

I must've looked very odd a girl dressed like a nerdy princess walking around the airport a 12 am, a few little girls actually looked a me in awe and asked for a selfies *they must be on their way to Disney world or just got back from Disney world...*  I though and happily obliged to their request their parent were grateful and apologetic at the same time,

When my flight was boarding I got a text from the bride asking if I was alright? and what shitty move Grayson pulled... I snorted a girl I barely talked to in school was more worried about me then Dick! he saw my face he knew I was upset! but, he ignored me in favor of his new girlfriend who was just going to dump him once he starts bailing on her for Nightwing duties. I texted back saying I was fine and shut my phone off...

That was...what was the date? When I was finally done with throwing up...I looked around the room for my phone and some clue as to who and how I supposedly married the redheaded stranger! I eventually I found my phone I've seriously been gone two weeks?! But, I could've sworn I just left! then I noticed the camera... 

It was pink and had a cheesy logo on it Reverend Al's 10 min weddings! taking a leap I hooked the camera to the TV...And my face immediately turned bright red..."Oh god kill me now..." I moaned into my hands mortified as the guy next to me woke up and looked around disoriented before barfing on to my dress...Mental note burn that dress...And learn supposed husband's name....

A few days later..

"Something's wrong, I know it father!" Damian huffed as he followed Bruce downstairs the older Wayne sighed he explained to his son that Y/n was just on vacation and should be back any day now...But his son wasn't having it he knew Y/n would at least call them how her trip was! or how long she was gonna be or a least to see how Damian himself was doing...she pretty much the big sister/mother he never had growing up.

So, of course he freaking out...Someone has to! Grayson was too clouded with infatuation to even noticed Y/n was gone and her cheap plastic knock-off was had overstayed her welcome the second she step foot in this manor, She would act all sweet and nice, but the second Grayson left she would become obnoxiously rude had pig manners.

 [like chewing loudly,going days without bathing,eating like a donkey raised her etc.] and was possibly cheating on Grayson judging how quickly Ss/n would openly flirt and throw herself at his father, Drake or Todd and when they rejected her advances she make a scene causing Dick to come and rescue her.

Everyone hated her and couldn't understand why Dick would date someone like her who was obviously dating him for money and attention, when he first hinted that he liked a girl with [y/hc] and [y/ec] they assumed he was talking about Y/n...even Todd boasted that.

"it was about Effin' Time!" But when he showed up with [ss/n] it was slap to the face to everyone...Damian went to go find Y/n and check on her, but found her apartment empty he asked Bruce about it and his father explained that she had just clocked in her vacation days and would be gone for a while...

They got to kitchen and immediately Bruce and Damian's mood soured seeing [ss/n] drinking orange juice straight from the carton and her mouth stained with what appeared to be oatmeal...heaven forbid what was floating around in that juice carton! Damian grimaced as she noticed them She swallowed loudly and put the juice back.

"Oh, good morning Mr. Wayne.~" the girl purred shamelessly showing her exposed bra to the older man who decided that he'd grab breakfast at the office and left then she noticed Damian and her mood soured. "What are you looking at brat?!" 

she sneered before Damian could snark out a reply her phone started ringing and she quickly escaped bumping into Jason who grimaced at her as she passed him. 

"What's miss Piggy's problem?" He asked taking the orange juice out the fridge, his younger brother just blanched as Jason brought the carton up to his lips, but noticed Damian's face and immediately back pedaled.

"The bicycle drank this, didn't she?" he seethed this was his juice! it had his name on it, no one touches Jason's shit! He dumped the carton a looked ready spew when he saw the oatmeal chunks floating down the drain. "And she ate my fucking Oatmeal! Goddammit! Grayson!" Jason bellowed sprinting up the stairs looking for the acrobat.

 Damian rolled his eyes already how this song and dance will go...Drake, Todd or his father will confront Grayson about Ss/n's behavior she'd make scene causing him to make excuses or be defensive and would all end with everyone on both sides the silent treatment...the green eyed boy sighed in annoyance and went to go train in the cave when he saw a taxi coming up the drive.

Strange, they weren't expecting any visitors...."Ummi?" He said heart pounding in his chest as he sprinted to the main foyer just in time to see his father opening the door to Y/n!...and some redhead man who was younger then his father by few years.

the h/c smiled at Bruce sheepishly as Damian noted her attire black jeans, f/c t-shirt that said I <3 Niagara Falls and a worn out Letterman's jacket that obviously didn't belong to her..

"Hi Bruce...Damian sorry I took longer then I sai-" She cut off by the boy running up and hugging her waist "Don't leave again.." he mumbled into her stomach before turning to mystery man who was awkwardly observing them. "Don't you have a route or fares to collect?" the boy hissed at the gray eyed man who stared bug eyed at the kid before rubbing the back of his head.

"o-oh boy, um... I'm not a cabbie I'm Y/n's-" Y/n nervously intervened.

"Say, where's uncle Alfred I need to tell him something..."

"You didn't tell them yet?" 

"It didn't feel right doing it over the phone, sue me!"

The redheaded man winced as Bruce looked between the two and noticed their hands...or rather their ring fingers and shit it the fan. "BOYS! ALFRED! FAMILY MEETING!! NOW!?"Damian gawked at his father stunned he has never been this angry in front of company before! 

"What's going on Ummi?" He asked Y/n who just smiled sadly and readjusted her large framed glasses the photochromic lenses were dark and hid her eyes, as Alfred and the other boys showed up along with Ss/n who sneered when she saw Y/n..."Den. Now.." Bruce said calmly as his sons swallowed wondering what they did?

They, Alfred, Y/n, mystery guy went into the den Ss/n went to follow only for Bruce to blocked her from entering "I said family meeting, you're not family.." he hissed at her the Darker/lighter H/c gaped at him like a fish and pointed at Y/n in disgust "She's allowed!" She shrieked in his face.

 "Y/n is Alfred's niece that makes her family.." Bruce huffed before slamming the door in Ss/n's face they heard her screech stomp her foot like a child before hearing her footsteps hurry away...

"Wait, how come this guy can stay, but not my girlfriend?" Dick demanded eyeing the redheaded man suspiciously and annoyed that he was sitting so damn close to Y/n. who was trying to avoid everyone's stares as she found her voice.

 "I really think this is a little extreme?" Bruce shot her a look that could melt paint steel, the e/c girl swallowed hard "S-so, you guys know that I went on vacation.." Dick cut her off "When did you go on vacation?" he sounded bemused and offended that she hadn't said anything to him, his brother's just looked at him like Seriously? 

"I've been gone for almost three weeks, Richard..." she said ignoring pain in her chest that he hadn't noticed she was gone. while Jason pitched in 

"I seriously thought you would've at least noticed the gremlin whining 'Ummi...where's my ummi?' non-stop for the last two weeks!" Damian turned red and snapped at Jason to shut up as he kept his arms around Y/n's waist glaring at the streaked haired man.

whilst everyone gave Dick shit for not noticing his so-called best friend was missing for almost half a month, Tim commented about how she could've been kidnapped or murdered and he would've been too busy with his "hairpin Cinderella" to notice "That's over the lin-" the oldest brother was about ready to tear into Tim for that, They were cut off by their foster father slamming his hand on the table.

"Could we please talk about the fact she came back married!?" Bruce bellowed a pregnant silence filled the air as the boys slowly turned to Y/n in disbelief who sighed bringing a hand to her forehead showing the gold glint of her wedding band. 

"Hayden say hello to the boys..." she mumbled quickly as Hayden awkwardly waved "Hi boys." he cleared his throat as everyone gawked at the 'couple' stunned then Dick burst out laughing after a few minutes of this he sighed wiping a tear from his eye. "heheh..Good Joke Y/n! you and Bruce almost had us...Right?" he saw no one else was laughing..."Right?" Y/n bit her lip took out the USB from the camera and plugged it into with the den's TV...

[[A faded pink banner read out Reverend Al's Ten minute weddings! is hung haphazardly over what appeared to be a lounge that hasn't been decorated since 1970 lit up by a broken disco ball and fairy lights...

at a graying podium a priest in a sequin jacket and bell bottoms, boredly reads wedding rights to an obvious shotgun marriage as both sets of parents were glaring at the pregnant bride and the groom in disappointment as they walked out of the lounge in annoyance...

Just as the good reverend was about to put bible away he looked up and rolled his eyes muttering "God..are you kidding?" under his breath and sighed as Y/n still in the dress she wore at their classmate's wedding was practically dragged down the aisle by a drunk Hayden who giggling as he tried to hold the possibly more inebriated Y/n up as she kept trying to sit or lay down. The priest huffed looked at his watch "Alright my kid's got a thing in ten and my wife's gonna flip on me...let's make this quick!"

"Do you?"

"Y...Y/n *hic*"

"Take..

"Hey-Dan!" 

To be yer husband and wife?"

"I g-got Neerds in my bra!" Pulls out candy box and pours some in Hayden's hand.

"Aces! Sugar Tits!" pops them in his mouth and smiles at the priest.

The priest gives them a blank stare, but goes with it..."Right then, by the power vested in me by the province of Ontario I pronounce you man and wife, here's coupon book for Cliffton Hill...Kiss n' get out!" the priest sneered handing them the marriage license his assistant was filling out for them, 

He stamped it and and put it in Y/n's purse as she and Hayden gave each other a small peck on the lips and wandered out of the church completely oblivious to what they just did...then came back a few seconds later to steal the camera..]]

Y/n stopped the recording blushing bright freaking red "Trust you don't want to see what's on rest of this..." she mumbled as everyone was staring at the screen stunned, well everyone except Dick who kept his eyes on Y/n who was fiddle with her glasses waiting for someone to say something, he noticed a mark on her neck...

a hickey? this was real? she let that stranger..., the scent coming off her wasn't her perfume it was to rich and musky, the ring on her finger...it...a weird feeling curdled into Dick's stomach it felt tight and his heart felt like it had taken a bath in acid...

He couldn't place the feeling, but knew he couldn't stay anywhere near Y/n's husband out of fear of what he may do to Hayden. "I'm going for a walk..." was all Dick said before calmly leaving the den... Y/n and Hayden both flinched hearing the front doors slam whilst everyone stood stock still.

Till Alfred snapped out of his stupor and punch Hayden in the face "You, disgusting scoundrel! womanizing git!" the old man snarled as Jason pulled the old man away from the ginger who was stunned knocked out of his shoes by an old man,

 "And this is why I wanted to speak to Alfred privately!" Y/n sighed as Damian looked very conflicted, half was angry that  Grayson had finally driven Y/n too far... while the other was horrified that they'll never get rid of Ss/n now that Y/n been wedded! 

Alfred's angry voice cut in "Young lady we are going to city hall this instant for an annulment!" her uncle seethed pointing at the door, but Y/n stood her ground "Well, maybe I don't want an annulment." Alfred and the boys gawked at her.

 "I know you're all hoping that Dick will pull the damn wool off hie eyes...But, considering the girl he wants will never be me, I think it's for the best I move on..." She said meekly as Alfred huffed "No, A thousand times no! I listen dear, I know  how men like Hayden work, and this?" he holds up her hand showing her ring to herself. "Is just a phase to distract him from whatever void he thinks is plaguing his life." Y/n blinked at her uncle bemused then looked at Tim who cleared his throat.

"Alfred saying Hayden only married you because of a mid-life crisis..." the teen explained as said ginger awkwardly raised his hand. "Y'know I'm sitting right here?" he said then all the males in the room slowly turned and glared at him "Shut-up." they snapped Hayden blanched "Ok.." he squeaked and averted his eyes to the floor, and Y/n calmly pulled away from her uncle.

"Look, I understand your all just trying look out for me, But I'm not going to sit around and wait...it's time look at a new chapter in my life and that's just Dick's loss." Alfred still begged that she and Hayden get an annulment but, Bruce stop him. 

"Alfred, Y/n is a grown woman this is her choice and we have to respect that, even if it hurts someone in the end." The billionaire said gently as the butler looked down sullenly and with that the meeting was over.

Y/n and Hayden went back to her apartment to well clean up any expired food. and just get over the jet-lag they were feeling, As they settled in for the night neither noticed Nightwing watching them from the tree outside Y/n’s bedroom gritting his teeth in anger...

[kanasmusings]

[Translation] VAZZROCK bi-Color Series 2nd Season Vol. 1 - Drama Track 2

Second track is up~! I hope you all enjoyed Mamiya’s new CD as much as I did because, my god, the things that I have discovered about both VAZZY and ROCK DOWN are enough to sustain me until Sho’s CD releases wwww

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission. Please just like/reblog them instead ^^

Oh! And if you can, please do consider buying the CD here to support the artists ^^

Anyways, under the cut, enjoy~!

Track 02: 『お疲れ様の一杯を』 “A drink for our hard-work.”

                                        »»————-　★　————-««

[0:00]

  (Door opens)

  OWNER: Welcome—Oh? Taka-chan, you brought someone this time?

MAMIYA: Yup, table for two~ Is the tatami room available?

OWNER: It is.

  (Mamiya and Sho start walking)

  SHO: Oh~ This shop’s got great ambiance.

SHO: It’s for the general public but it’s very elegant.

MAMIYA: You should tell the owner that directly. I’m sure he’d jump for joy if he heard that from you.

SHO: (chuckles) You’re exaggerating.

(Mamiya and Sho settle themselves in the tatami room)

MAMIYA: Alright… Should we order some draft beer first? Or maybe wine?

SHO: Hmm… Draft beer maybe~? I want to know what it feels like to enjoy it after work~

MAMIYA: Roger that~

MAMIYA: (opens the sliding door and tells the owner) Owner, two draft beers and whatever you’d recommend to eat!

OWNER: Got it.

(Mamiya closes the sliding door)

SHO: This is the shop that Ouka told me you frequent, isn’t it?

MAMIYA: Yup, that’s right—Wait, you talk about things like this with Ouka?!

SHO: We do~ You become our topic of conversation a lot, you know~?

MAMIYA: Uwah… I won’t ask what you talk about then…

SHO: (chuckles) That’s such a waste~

MAMIYA: (smiles) Really now.

OWNER: Here, thanks for the wait.

(Owner starts serving them)

MAMIYA: Oh~! I was waiting for that~ Woah…! They look so delicious!

MAMIYA: These wings really pair well with the alcohol, ya know~?

MAMIYA: Sho, can you hand me that plate over there?

SHO: Sure.

(Sho hands Mamiya the plate)

SHO: You ordered so much. Are you sure we can eat all of this?

MAMIYA: Hm~ You’ll know once you start eating~

MAMIYA: Ah, Owner. Please bring us some nihonshuu later on, too.

OWNER: You got it.

(Owner leaves and closes the sliding door behind him)

  MAMIYA: Alright then, should we toast for now?

MAMIYA: Thank you for your hard work today, too!

SHO: And to you as well~

(Mamiya starts drinking)

MAMIYA: I feel so alive~!

(Sho starts drinking)

SHO: Uwah~ That’s so delicious.

MAMIYA: Are you actually the strong type, Sho?

SHO: I wonder~ I don’t have any plans about finding out whether I’m weak or strong to alcohol.

MAMIYA: About how many glasses can you drink if it’s wine?

SHO: Hm… About two or three?

MAMIYA: (laughs) That’s great! Are you fine with nihonshuu, too?

SHO: If it’s not too harsh for my taste.

MAMIYA: I see~ This place has a great selection of nihonshuu so, you can just choose later.

SHO: I’m looking forward to it~

MAMIYA: Welp, let’s go eat something before that.

(Mamiya prepares a plate for Sho)

MAMIYA: Here you go.

SHO: Thank you. I’ll prepare you some of these on a plate, too, okay?

MAMIYA: Sure, thank—Ah, no, wait!

MAMIYA: Haruto advised me before to only let you eat and to not let you serve food so uh—

SHO: I don’t think I’m that clumsy though.

MAMIYA: No one thinks that you’re clumsy. It’s just… There are things that people are not suited for, you know?

(Mamiya starts serving the food instead)

SHO: Takaaki watches over people even when we’re not all together, huh.

MAMIYA: (laughs) It’s not like I’m doing all of this consciously though. I guess it’s just because I’m surrounded by a lot of accident-prone people.

SHO: Does that include me~?

MAMIYA: (laughs) Yes, it does.

SHO: How strange~ I thought that we were supposed to be in the same situation~

MAMIYA: You mean, us being leaders?

SHO: Yup. A leader who takes care of his family of six~

MAMIYA: (finishes serving Sho the food) There we go.

MAMIYA: We’re actually a huge family of 12, you know?

SHO: (chuckles) A really big family, huh~ Even though it took quite a while.

MAMIYA: That’s true.

(Mamiya starts eating)

MAMIYA: Mmmm~!! This is so delicious!!

SHO: (chuckles) It’s that good? Maybe I’ll have some, too~

(Sho takes a bite)

SHO: !!! This is~!!

MAMIYA: It’s so good it makes you want to just exclaim, right? Then, if you drink alcohol after this, it’s—

(Mamiya starts drinking)

MAMIYA: It’s the best!

SHO: (laughs) You really look like you’re deliciously enjoying it, huh~

MAMIYA: Not “look,” I really am~!

SHO: Let me try it then~

(Sho starts drinking)

SHO: (chuckles) It truly is the combination of happiness, isn’t it~?

MAMIYA: (laughs) You look like you’re enjoying, too~

MAMIYA: We should do a commercial for beer now.

SHO: (chuckles) A privilege for those over 20, huh~

MAMIYA: Alcohol drinking is exclusive for those over 20, y’know?

MAMIYA: Looking at your image, it’s unexpected that you’d like beer so—we might really be able to make it work.

MAMIYA: Maybe I should try telling my manager that…

SHO: Do you keep thinking about things like that even on your days off, Takaaki?

MAMIYA: It’s not like I always do. But, I can’t help it…?

MAMIYA: Whenever I find something unexpected about our members, I kinda think that maybe we can use that as a selling point, too, or something.

                                        »»————-　★　————-««

[05:05]

  SHO: Oh~! I might have something not about me.

SHO: The other day, I went to a local district with ROCK DOWN. It was a roundtrip only but, Ruka kept on saying that he wanted to go sight-seeing.

MAMIYA: (laughs) Sounds like something he’d do.

SHO: Even more so since it was a hot springs district. But, we couldn’t find that much free time to roam around.

SHO: Just when I was thinking of having Gaku calm him down, Reiji already started asking the locals for information.

MAMIYA: He’s good at things like that, huh?

SHO: In an instant, he found out about a footbath that only the locals were familiar with. We all boarded a taxi and headed there afterwards.

SHO: Even though we only had two hours before we had to go on the plane.

MAMIYA: (laughs) Ayumu didn’t object to that?

SHO: About that~ Even Ayumu got excited about entering the hot springs since we were there already.

SHO: Everyone was of one spirit and we headed to the footbath~ (chuckles) And that footbath was the kind that had small, sharp pebbles in it, too.

MAMIYA: And then it was pandemonium~

SHO: (chuckles) Exactly~! Ayumu was screaming in pain but Ruka kept pushing on his feet. When Ayumu couldn’t bear it anymore, he started riding on Gaku’s feet.

SHO: And, when I thought that Haruto was looking like he was fine, it turns out that he couldn’t even move a foot~

SHO: Reiji took a video of all of us during that time~ Of course, one where he’s included as well~

MAMIYA: Ah, I can totally imagine it~ Wait, that seems like something that’d happen in a variety show.

SHO: That’s right. I was thinking that it would seem fun to do a show like that with everyone after Reiji showed us the video.

SHO: You meant something like that, right~?

MAMIYA: Yeah! Being with those guys, even normal things seem interesting that I just wanna show them off to people, y’know?

MAMIYA: But, a hot spring’s super nice~ I wonder when we’ll get that kind of chance.

SHO: What happened when you went to the local districts?

MAMIYA: It was a roundtrip, too. The only thing we did was maybe eat the famous boxed lunches in bullet trains.

MAMIYA: Plus, Ouka sent his manager back in advance so we barely even managed to buy them. That’s it.

SHO: It’s difficult when you can’t find that much free time, huh.

MAMIYA: I wish we could do more next time.

MAMIYA: Ah, but, doing something with all the members is good on its own, too.

SHO: Even if it’s just in the common room?

MAMIYA: Yeah. Just the other day, Issa was saying he wanted to eat some salt and butter bread (shio pan).

SHO: Salt and butter bread?

MAMIYA: You don’t know? It’s kinda like a croissant. The texture’s soft like a French bread and it’s got a bit of a salty taste with lots of butter.

SHO: I think I kind of get it now.

MAMIYA: But, that was at midnight.

SHO: I don’t think… any bakeries are open at that time, huh…

MAMIYA: And I’ve never seen them being sold in convenience stores, too.

MAMIYA: Plus, he was being all spoiled and saying that he didn’t want it if it’s not freshly baked. He hit Futaba awake and told him to make one from scratch. When Futaba told him that he didn’t have the ingredients, Issa went all the way to my place.

SHO: Well, he can, since we’re in the same apartment complex~

MAMIYA: But, getting asked for some flour and stuff at midnight should be out of the question, right?

SHO: (chuckles) It should, huh~ So, did you make some?

MAMIYA: Oh, we definitely did. But he got mad since we didn’t have any butter so he went to get Yuma. And then, Ouka got mad because he got woken up by the noise. He brought with him Naosuke because, according to Ouka, “Naosuke would definitely sulk if no one woke him up.”

SHO: So, you all made bread in the middle of the night?

MAMIYA: Yeah. Futaba was the teacher and we were all kneading dough.

MAMIYA: Really, what an evil thing~

SHO: Did Issa participate in the bread-making class, too?

MAMIYA: That’s just the thing! He’s the one who wanted to eat it but he said, “I’m sleepy so wake me up when it’s done.”

SHO: Ah…

MAMIYA: He fell asleep in a corner in the room so I went ahead and played a prank on him~

SHO: (chuckles) What did you do?

MAMIYA: I curled his hair oh so thoroughly with a curling iron~

SHO: (chuckles) I’m surprised he didn’t wake up~

MAMIYA: It’s me we’re talking about, you know? His hair got so fluffy that it would make him 3x more hostile if he saw it.

SHO: He didn’t find out even after he woke up?

MAMIYA: No one generally looks at a mirror at midnight, right? The bread was just done too so, he was happily enjoying his bread with his fluffy hair~

SHO: (chuckles) That side of VAZZY is really great, too, huh~

SHO: I want to see that kind of cooking show, too.

MAMIYA: Hm… I want to try it too as long as Ouka doesn’t get to hold a knife.

SHO: It’s that bad?

MAMIYA: I wonder now… I think it’s the same level as Haruto not wanting you to hold a knife.

SHO: That’s… Well, that’s reasonable~

MAMIYA: (laughs) Don’t say that~!

SHO: (chuckles) I can’t get enough of talking about our members~

MAMIYA: Oh man… We should have talked about this on the broadcast.

SHO: Ah…!

MAMIYA: Well, let’s talk about it next time~ Let’s take that opportunity to appeal to make a TV show, too~

SHO: As expected~ You don’t miss any opportunities.

MAMIYA: I am very honored by your words of praise~

MAMIYA: Now that we’re in the mood, wanna go for the nihonshuu~?

SHO: Sure~

(Mamiya opens the sliding door and places an order)

MAMIYA: Owner, some nihonshuu, please! Oh, the not too strong kind.

OWNER: Got it.

OWNER: Here you go.

MAMIYA: Eh--?! That’s fast! What’s this~? Did you already prepare it and was already waiting for us?

OWNER: Yeah, I got a hold of some good stuff, see?

MAMIYA: Heh~ Sho! You can expect that it’s good if the Owner recommends it.

SHO: I can already smell how good it is~

OWNER: Alright then, please enjoy your stay.

(Owner closes the sliding door)

  SHO: It’s unusual for it to come with a small cup, huh?

MAMIYA: It feels as if it’s meant just for drinking alcohol, right~?

MAMIYA: Then, once again.

SHO: That’s right~ Cheers~!

                                        »»————-　★　————-««

[10:47]

  SHO: Oh… This is…

SHO: It’s delicious.

MAMIYA: I’m glad to hear that~

MAMIYA: Ah~ It’s so good! He really got a hold of something good with this!

SHO: It feels gentle to the lips but the aftertaste is very distinct…

SHO: I feel like I can drink a lot of this~

(Sho starts drinking more)

MAMIYA: There’s a saying that good alcohol shouldn’t be wasted so, drink as much as you’d like.

MAMIYA: It’s alright, it’s just us leaders here anyway.

SHO: We won’t be troubled if we see each other drunk, huh~

MAMIYA: That’s right. Since we’re here drinking good alcohol, why don’t we talk about things that we can only talk about as leaders?

SHO: Like what?

MAMIYA: Hm, let me see… For example… How did you feel when your CD was first released?

SHO: You mean, my solo song?

MAMIYA: Yeah.

SHO: I really felt… nervous about my first song.

SHO: Of course, I did feel a little bit excited about it, too.

MAMIYA: Same here. I’ve been super nervous about it starting from how people would feel about it until the time I actually saw it on sale.

MAMIYA: But…

SHO: But?

MAMIYA: Hm… It’s just a little bit but… I was scared, too…

SHO: That’s… That’s unexpected. In what way were you scared? Was it because the expectations were too much?

SHO: Or because yours was the first one released?

MAMIYA: Hm… There’s that, too. I mean, I was first in line for the VAZZROCK Project, right?

MAMIYA: I had it in mind that I can’t fail at the very beginning.

MAMIYA: Plus, in my case, I have history with an old unit so… I was thinking about how the old unit’s fans would feel if I released a song without the old members. I got too worried about that, too.

SHO: I see. You’d be curious about how your old fans reacted, huh.

MAMIYA: I guess I was, even though we got newer fans, too.

MAMIYA: That’s why, I totally couldn’t sleep on the day the CD was going to be released.

MAMIYA: And I can’t really yawn during the release event so I had to use some super cold eye drops so early in the morning.

SHO: (chuckles) So you did something like that, huh?

MAMIYA: For real.

SHO: I didn’t know… You just seemed so relaxed to me before and after your CD’s release.

SHO: I guess that’s a part of your character, too, huh.

MAMIYA: Then, my feint worked. It’d be nice if I managed to fool the others, too.

SHO: At the very least, you managed to fool me~

MAMIYA: Well, I’m glad about that. (sighs) I can really only talk about these kinds of things with you.

MAMIYA: I mean… I don’t think that we have to be perfect because we’re the leaders but… There are times when we can’t show the members we’re nervous, right?

SHO: Yeah, I know…

MAMIYA: I know that even leaders feel lost or weak sometimes but… Ah… It makes me wonder what would happen if my members see me like this or something…

MAMIYA: As someone who should pull them along, I don’t want to show them any unnecessary anxieties that I feel.

SHO: That’s right. And not just as leaders. We’re the older members too so, there are times that the younger ones get influenced by us.

MAMIYA: Exactly!! That, too! My unit’s got more people who just debuted unlike ROCK DOWN, right?

MAMIYA: If I say this in front of people who just entered the industry, I feel like they’d be disillusioned by what the people around them do or say in the future!

SHO: That’s true, it is a specialized industry after all.

MAMIYA: In an unstable world like this, the only ones you can count on are your friends. Specially the leader who leads the way. To them, we’re the bright light that guides them along.

SHO: They’ll feel uneasy if the light becomes small or unstable, won’t they?

MAMIYA: That’s exactly it. No matter how strong the winds may become, the light should never disappear.

MAMIYA: Even if we have to desperately protect the light, you know?

SHO: So even you think of things like this, huh, Takaaki…

MAMIYA: He-he~ Being shameless means that I’d be great at hiding secrets, too~

MAMIYA: Well, I can say these things now because of a certain someone.

SHO: A certain someone?

MAMIYA: I can only open up about this because I’m with you, Sho. A unit leader just like me.

SHO: (smiles) I’m honoured.

SHO: Then, I guess it’s my turn to reveal some secrets.

MAMIYA: Heh~ You have something, too?

SHO: Of course, I do.

                                      »»————-　★　————-««

[15:23]

  SHO: Unlike VAZZY, our average age is not that young. And we have a lot of members who have already been in the industry before.

SHO: So this is from a slightly different point of view but…

MAMIYA: Like, how you had difficulty trying to be in charge of people from different fields in the industry?

SHO: I won’t say that I didn’t have that in mind but...

SHO: But, I guess I did feel some… anxieties, maybe? about why I was chosen to be the leader.

MAMIYA: Eh? Why so?

SHO: You know? I’m the type who thinks that it’s okay even if the oldest member is not the leader.

MAMIYA: Hm… Well, that’s true. In the entertainment industry, sometimes it’s the career history and not the age that’s the deciding factor.

SHO: Exactly. I wasn’t familiar with that kind of common sense in the entertainment industry.

SHO: Even though I was introduced to the agency, it was as a violinist, not as a talent.

SHO: Even though I knew what kind of world I was entering when I became a talent, I never once imagined that I would be a unit leader.

SHO: It made me feel uneasy a lot.

MAMIYA: Heh… I’m sorry to say this but—I never really noticed since you always seemed so relaxed!

MAMIYA: And, from my point of view, you always seemed so elegant.

SHO: There were times when I just laughed it off to make it seem okay, you know?

SHO: I’m so glad that my feint worked~

MAMIYA: That just means that we’re both good at keeping up appearances.

SHO: (chuckles) That seems to be the case.

SHO: But, I’m glad I got to talk about this with you.

SHO: It made me remember that it’s okay for leaders to experience troubles, too.

MAMIYA: Me, too. I feel so relieved that I’m not the only one who felt lost at times.

MAMIYA: Well— (softly) This is just between you and me, okay~?

SHO: A secret just for the two of us, huh~

MAMIYA: Totally~ Then, let’s praise ourselves for getting us all the way here, shall we~?

SHO: Agreed~

SHO: Now then, leader~ Thanks for your hard work.

MAMIYA: To you as well, leader~ Thanks for your hard work.

  ==END== 

                                      »»————-　★　————-««  

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission. Please just like/reblog them instead ^^

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying me a ko-fi here to support my work if you want. (o^▽^o)Thank you!!

[ftpthemovement]

Gods Way

“If you let your own actions determine your life, Gods actions never will.” Bold statement huh? But, facts are facts, and when the true unadulterated gospel of Jesus Christ is revealed to a mans heart, he has the ability to accept or reject the truth. Little do most people know, because it’s rarely preached, you’re not just making a one time decision. You will be making the same decision day by day, hour by hour, second by second. The decision is to either choose Gods way, or the way of the world.

I’ll say it again. “If you let your own actions determine your life, Gods actions never will.”

Someone might say, “Sounds good as a catch phrase, but honestly, what does that even mean?

It means that God sent his only begotten son, to lay his life down in place of all our sins, to become the sacrificial atonement for all mankind. Simply put Christ died so that we may have life, an abundant life leading to eternal glory. See when we through faith accept this truth into our lives, we receive the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit then teaches us through Gods word, what our mission, purpose, and calling is in life.

Our mission then becomes, to spread the good news of the gospel to the ends of the earth. Our purpose, is to be representatives of love through action and in truth. Our calling: is to use our time, talents, and resources, to glorify God in everything we do. What it means is, we stop living for selfish gain, and retrain ourself to love others as servants for Gods glory. As scripture says in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Anyone in Christ is a new creation, the old has gone and the new had come. We once lived for selfish gain, now we live to give.

Because of Faith in Christ we are now able to serve him with the specific gifting that he has placed in us. Scripture says in Romans 12:4-8 “For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.”

Ok, that covers my gifting, but what am I supposed to do for actual work?

That’s a great question! That same question, almost more than almost any other, used to rack my brain like crazy when I was first saved. Literally, from the second I was saved, I felt a huge desire to want to please God with everything that I do, but I didn’t know what work to do that would be pleasing to God, until I read Colossians 3:16-17

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Whatever I do? Yes, whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father. God has ultimately given us the free will, to take the allotted amount of time we have to seek him out. We can choose free will to go partake of the worldly ways, or we can choose to submit our freewill to our father in Heaven. Scripture says in 2 Timothy 2:2

“In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for special purposes and some for common use. Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.”

So for those who choose to cleanse themselves of the ways of the world, deny themselves daily in pursuit of Gods will, are then instruments intended for special purpose of the Lord.

If that’s not enough, let me explain to you what God showed me in a vision when i was trying to figure out what to do with my life.

He showed me Grand Theft Auto. Not promoting the video game, but this was a reference point he obviously knew I would be familiar with. In that video game you have the ability to roam free or choose the mission mode designed for the game. You have a certain amount of health and resources, and it’s up to you what you choose to do.

If you choose freewill, you are on your own to do whatever you choose with the life you have. But, if you choose mission mode, your life now becomes a part of the story line it was intended to be apart of. You can die in free will, and you can die on mission mode, the choice is ultimately up to you. The great difference about real life and this game, is that the story line on grand theft auto, and Gods will are a lot different. In real life, God meets you exactly where you are. Though you may have been free roaming the world, through Christ sacrifice, you are now able to enter into story mode. God then begins to use what you have been through, and that is available to you in that very moment.

Gods amazing love, grace, and mercy, meets you where you are at, but he loves you enough not to let you stay there. How amazing is our God, I hope you give home praise today. If for some reason you are still struggling with the direction to go, here’s 5 simple steps that might help you make that clearer to you.

1.Pray - What is Gods will for my life? How can I leverage my time, talents, and resources to glorify God the most?

2.Focus - Once you’ve determined what God has called you to do, focus on that calling and then eliminate every distraction that would stop you from reaching the destination he has planned for you.

3.Plan - Strategically write down everything that is necessary for you to complete the goal God has placed before you. Once everything is written, start listing these things in order. I highly suggest focusing on the 20% of things that will get you 80% of the way. The rest will follow in accordingly.

4.Execute - Create a daily routine of tangible mini goals that track the progress of the pursuit of your main goal. As you continue to collect data along the way, you will be able to evaluate your progress. This allows you to get rid of what isn’t as helpful, and replace it with new methods that leverage a favorable outcome. Anything worth doing is evaluating, so tracking data is one of the most important things you can do to help you achieve the mission set before you!

5.Repeat the process

My advice is Like what Brian McKnight said in his song, “If ever I my work is done, then I start back at one.” You get the point! I pray God blesses you with insight, revelation, knowledge, and understanding, as you diligently continue to pursue him each day. May his love, mercy, and grace, bring you comfort in the spirit, and the boldness to finish the mission, and achieve your calling at the highest level possible this side of heaven. May you be blessed, and all of your days be productive for gods glory, in Jesus precious and holy name. Grace and peace be yours in abundance!

From the front lines,

ES

[seriouslyhooked]

Lost Souls and Reveries (Part 20)

22 part AU written for @cssns​. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13,Part 14, Part 15,Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19. Story available on AO3 Here and FF Here. Banner created by the amazingly talented @shipsxahoy​!!

Killian Jones is a wolf shifter without roots, without plans, and without a pack. He’s a rogue, someone humans should avoid and shifters should be wary of given his lineage. But one night years back set him on a path he didn’t realize he was taking, a path leading to a future he is destined for. That future is tied up in one woman – a human named Emma Nolan. Together Emma and Killian will find not only answers, but a love that’s truly fated. But will love be enough to set them free, or will past demons win out in the end? (Answer: love always wins – I am writing this so despite some tiny pockets of angst it’s basically a fluff-filled insta-love fest). Rated M.

A/N: Hey everyone! So sorry for the delay on this chapter. It’s been a crazy and hectic summer, and the muse has been chatting at her own strange pace, but I finally got the chance to write this installment. Just to warn you all, we’re in the middle of piecing together a lot of these remaining issues and this will be ending on a cliff hanger. I know, I know, but the gang is all trying to figure out what Elsa’s dreams mean and what the red eyed shifters want. We’ll get a bit more information in this installment, but all will be revealed and sorted next chapter (which should be posted within the next week). This chapter is also a little less CS focused, because they’re dealing with a big issue, but I promise we’ll be back to our normally scheduled fluff soon. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and I hope you all enjoy!

It was amazing to Emma how a day that started off on such a turbulent track could seemingly turn around on a dime.

This morning had been a huge headache for her and Killian, and though she’d now set boundaries with her parents (most specifically her mother), Emma couldn’t help the lingering fatigue that clung to her. It was exhausting trying to plan a satisfactorily ‘fairy tale wedding’ when all she really wanted was a day of love and light and her mate, but at the end of the day it was Killian who largely saved her sanity. Yes, her grandmother had graciously stepped in, and her friends had shown up just in the nick of time to cut any remaining tension, but it was Emma’s true love who really saved the day.

Having Killian’s calm to cling to when things got stormy was such a blessing, as far as Emma was concerned. It was amazing to have someone so securely in her corner, someone who thought and acted always in the best interest of her heart. His instincts were to care for her and protect her, but to do that in a way that still empowered her to be strong all on her own. Killian may try and shield her, but he also bolstered her too. He made her brave and hopeful, and on top of all of that, he also made her blood thrum with a never-ending sense of want, and her soul flood with a near constant state of rightness…

“Killian, please, you’re teasing me, and you know how much I hate that.”

The feel of his hands on her body, running along her skin as his mouth moved across to mark all of her most sensitive places was driving Emma crazy. It was so good – so mind shatteringly perfect – but it just wasn’t quite enough. He was drawing this out and taking his time, and yeah, maybe they had all night, and maybe he’d already taken her in the kitchen mere minutes ago, but she couldn’t wait. It was killing her to feel so close but not quite there. She was restless and needy and flooded with desperate desire. And her mate was eating it all up, loving how riled she got while tormenting her with that sinful grin of his.

“Hate is a strong word, love,” Killian rumbled against her skin, his teeth nipping at her in the most provocative way and sparking even more arousal and want. “And I happen to know for a fact that hate isn’t the winner in the sea of your emotions right now. I might be driving you mad, but not so secretly you love this. You love me in every way I give myself to you.”

“Yes, God yes, but – uh -,”

Words and all rational thinking flew out the window as he found the place she wanted him most, tracing her delicate flesh with a lightness that verged on feathery. Her eyes closed and she moaned aloud, forgetting her whole argument for a moment, but then, when he’d moved lower, teasing her with his hand only to move down her body and hover over her sex with his mouth he stopped, making her crazy all over again.

“Tell me what you want, Emma. You know I’ll give you anything you ask. Anything at all.”

“Oh!” Again she lost all ability to even think as his tongue worked against her, moving exactly how she liked it. He was an expert at her every last desire, and he knew it, numbing her mind with bliss and letting her think she could have it before she gave him what he’d asked for.

“Emma,” he said, his voice playful but somehow still growly, showing her that he was still in control but that it was slipping. Much as he might play in these moments, Killian was just as caught up as her, and he could only last so long before giving in. Lucky for him though, she always seemed to cave first.

“Love me, Killian. Taste me. Take me. Anything, please!”

She heard a mumbled ‘as you wish’ pass his lips before he continued devouring her, making her come apart with the mastery of his mouth. He then gave her just enough time to return to herself, and when she’d finally felt like the world stopped spinning, he came back above her and filled him with himself in such a deep and consuming way she almost couldn’t breathe. It was so good and so real, and when it was over it felt in some ways like it had only just begun. The love was strong between them, anchoring her to a happiness no money could ever bye, and Emma sighed into it, reveling in the sensation that everything was as it should be.  

Tucked into his chest and protected by his hold on her, Emma nuzzled into her fiancé, taking in the scent of the two of them together. It was intoxicating and comforting all at once, much like the familiar press of his hard body against hers. This was her most sacred space, the place her heart felt truly free, and she was so grateful to have found it that tears formed in her eyes.

“Was I too hard with you, my love?” Killian asked, though she knew he knew that wasn’t the answer.

“Never. You’re always just right.”

“Then what’s brought on those tears?”

“Can’t a girl just be so happy that she cries a little?” Emma asked, sniffling a bit before she broke into a smile. Killian chuckled at her joke and she responded in kind as her hand came to rest above his heart. “I know it sounds stupid -,”

“Not at all, Emma. It sounds like exactly what I’ll always want for us. This feeling – this love, this joy – it’s what we’ve been meant for. Before we were two lost souls, and now we’re one that’s found. That’s a beautiful thing.”

Emma nodded, humming out a contented noise almost like a purr at his words before watching Killian’s hand move over to where their baby was now growing. It was too soon for anything like a kick from their little one, but Emma swore she felt a little flutter, a reminder that their little boy or girl was with them always. “Well technically we’re one with one on the way.”

“As per usual you are right, love. And it’s only a matter of time before one becomes more…”

“So is this the kind of thing that’s going to fade after the wedding, or what?”

The question from Anna was teasing in nature, but it pulled Emma back so forcefully from her remembrance of last night with Killian that she actually jolted in place. God, she had totally left the building mentally. She was reliving a private moment with her man, but in actuality her friends were here, organizing the different dishes they’d made and snacks they brought to this impromptu cook out. Emma felt her cheeks warm, but though she might be flustered, she couldn’t say she was embarrassed. She loved Killian too much to have anything like shame as far as he was concerned, but in an ideal world she might not have let her mind wander quite so far when she was with friends who were needing her attention.

“No way. She’s going to look this smitten forever,” Ruby countered, her smirk signaling her amusement while also telling Emma she harbored no resentment to Emma’s blanking out. “But as bad as she is, my cousin’s even worse. Killian will be as old as the day is long and still staring at Emma like she hangs the moon.”

“Guys.” Emma wished she had a comeback or something, but there was none to be found. They weren’t wrong, after all. She was smitten, and though she might have been known for her poker face once upon a time, those days were largely gone. Anyone could read her feelings now, blush or not, and what they read was that she was in love.

“What? It’s not a bad thing, Emma,” Anna affirmed. “God knows you both deserve it. And it’s really… uh, sweet.”

“You don’t sound so convinced,” Emma replied and she was curious as to Anna’s new perspective on things. She thought her friend was happy for her, and she could tell she was, but there was something a little off with her today.

“Don’t mind, Anna, she’s just impatient,” Elsa said, trying to smooth everything over. “She wants her own shifter soul mate, and you know how she feels about waiting.”

“It’s not the waiting,” Anna said sternly before yielding the truth. “Okay, so it’s partially about the waiting. But really it’s just… I mean, I’m worried. What if he never comes? What if there’s only so much of this cute, cuddly, couply stuff to go around?”

“Not a chance,” Emma said, completely certain on this matter. “There’s no way your one isn’t out there Anna. Shifter or not, you’re going to find the man you belong with. He’s just a little delayed.”

“A little?” Anna asked, and the rest of them laughed. Anna made it seem like it had been an eternity, but Emma had only known Killian a few months and Elsa and Ruby had only known Liam and Graham a handful of weeks.

“Think of it this way,” Elsa offered. “It’s just one more thing you’ll have in common. I mean honestly, when was the last time you made it to anything on time?”

Anna grumbled that her sister made a good point and all of them laughed again at her feigned annoyance. It was so typically Anna, and now that she’d gotten what Emma knew to be very real worries out there, she would let it be for now. Anna was always good about that. She knew that giving oneself over to anxiety was a lost cause, and until there was really need to panic, it was best to look on the bright side, and right now, there were admittedly many pieces of all of their lives that were bright and beautiful.

That beauty was something that didn’t just belong to Emma. Ruby and Elsa had equally as much cause for joy and they both were eager to share their similar yet very different stories. At one end of the new-mates spectrum there were Elsa and Liam, who were bonded and blissful together, but still taking things step by step. They neither of them had any need to move quickly, instead getting to know each other better even though their hearts were already intertwined. On the other end of the mate measurement scale were Ruby and Graham, two shifters who had always known their animals and their destinies, and who, as a result, had no fear diving in.

“Graham told me this morning that he’s getting me pregnant next full moon.”

“He said what?!” Anna barked out, her hand flying over her heart in shock.

“How could he know?” Elsa asked, and though she was less visibly stunned at the words, Emma saw the trace of a blush on her cheeks. It made Emma smile, and she wondered how many times she and Liam might have spoken of something similar. Because no matter how slow they were taking things, Emma knew there was no way something like that had gone unsaid. Liam was all in, and he never made any attempt to hide that from her friend.

“He doesn’t,” Ruby said with a shrug. “But damn if it won’t be amazing letting him try.”

“As if you aren’t already trying,” Emma joked and Ruby chuckled.

“What can I say? When you’re right, you’re right. I love that man. He’s mine and I’m his and I’ll be damned if we don’t have our three babies that my visions and my dreams always promised.”

“I wish I had those kinds of dreams,” Anna said wistfully, and though Elsa nodded, Emma could see something in her best friend’s eyes that hinted at something larger.

“Me too.”

“You’ll get there, Elsa. These nightmares will pass.”

“You’re having nightmares again?” Emma asked, surprised since this was the first she’d heard of it. She assumed Elsa’s nightmares were a thing of the past. The reason for them had always presumably been Liam being out there searching for Killian, and when Liam found his way here, they had stopped.

“It’s probably nothing, just unsettled stress. A lot has happened, and my brain is just catching up.”

“And what exactly is your brain telling you while it catches up?” Emma pushed, waiting for Elsa to meet her eye and then confess to her.

“Well honestly it’s hard to explain. The dreams are choppy and kind of manic.”

“So kind of like the one’s about Liam?” Emma clarified.

“Sort of, but they’re worse. There’s more anger and there’s always this sense of hunting or being hunted. Sometimes I’m the prey and sometimes I’m the predator, but in the end it always ends the same, with my heart about to beat out of my chest, my body worked up in a cold sweat, and everything flashing to red.”

“That’s what I haven’t been able to make out,” Ruby said, and it was clear that she had previously interrogated Elsa thoroughly about these dreams. “I looked through my family’s spells and journals, and Elsa looked through hers, but red is actually a pretty rare color when it comes to magic, and the sentiments around it are varied. Red birds in the trees are a sign of good luck and red soil a sign of new harvest, but then there’s the obvious connotations too when it’s something bad like this.”

“Blood,” Emma whispered. Elsa nodded.

“But it’s brighter than blood. It’s bold but terrible, heightened and horrifying. It’s everywhere in the dreams. In the rivers, in the sunlight, in their eyes.”

“They have red eyes?” Emma responded, her stomach sinking to new lows as her sense of foreboding built astronomically.

“Yes. They’re like -,”

“Like Liam’s at his breaking point, but scarlet and full.”

“Yes,” Elsa hedged, though the raising of her brow told Emma that she was perplexed at how she could know that. “But I’ve looked through all I could find in my family’s archives and there’s no accounts of shifters with eyes like that. The closest is a copper color for lions, but that’ not what this is.”

“No they’re far less natural. Like you took red ink and exposed it to something chemical. I’ve never seen anything else like it.”

“But Emma how did you…?”

“When I was attacked in Boston by that shifter, it had red eyes just like that, remember? I told you about it.”

“You told me there were two wolves fighting over you,” Elsa clarified, her face betraying the current wracking of her memory for some sort of lost clue. “You said they were giant and that there was one that was good and one bad. You said it was terrifying, but I don’t remember anything about their eyes.”

Was it possible that Emma had never mentioned the color of their eyes to Elsa? Looking back, it would have felt like a small detail to her when compared to everything else. She’d almost been killed by one giant wolf and then promptly saved by another. At the time Emma also felt like she was going crazy. She’d literally written it off as a mental break for years, so it stood to reason that maybe she might have let this detail slip by. But this detail, however tiny it might have seemed back then, was too big a similarity to be purely coincidental.

“Wait,” Anna said, holding her hand up as she tried to catch up. “So what you’re saying is a wolf had red eyes like Elsa’s dream? But how could that be?”

“That’s an excellent question,” Emma admitted. “But I think the bigger question is how likely is it that these are only dreams and not actual visions?”

They all knew the answer to that, and with a quick agreement that this wasn’t something that could wait, they all headed outside. Emma was eager to get this out there and see if maybe they could all figure this out. She had spoken before with Killian about that night, but maybe he had more insight into what was wrong with that other shifter. Was there something more than the eyes and the aggression? They needed to know, and they needed to know now.

As soon as she was out of the house, Killian’s gaze found hers, and without a word she knew he was aware something was wrong. Her mind was open to his, and she read that he was concerned about Elsa’s dreams, so she pushed to him that they were more than just dreams, and that as such this was a way bigger issue than a little lack of sleep.

“They’re visions. Definitely visions,” she said as she took comfort in his arms. It helped a lot to be with him, but Emma would be lying if she said she wasn’t scared. Damn it! Were things always going to be like this? They get past one big battle just to trade it in for another?

“Aye, so it would seem,” Killian said and his affirmation made Emma close her eyes. She wished she could go back to a few hours ago. Okay maybe not the wedding planning part, but definitely last night or early this morning. Things were so good. Why, oh why, did they have to get so wonky?

“So much for normal, huh?”

This time Killian didn’t need to say any words aloud. He commiserated with her on a deeper level, keeping her wrapped up tight and pressing a kiss to her temple. It was soft and subtle, but it told Emma that he was here and here to stay, and whether life was normal or not, they would get through this just like they had everything before.

“Normal or not, what we need right now is the full story,” Liam said, taking charge in a way Emma recognized as being similar to his brother. “If there are red-eyed shifters in our path somehow, we need everyone on the same page.”

Emma agreed and the group of them all moved back to the patio where Emma’s parents, her grandmother and Granny had remained. For a moment Emma felt a bit of guilt. Right now her family was laughing and happy, all of them smiling and looking really relaxed. Maybe it was lingering planning for the wedding, or just a pure moment of contentment, but whatever the reason for their joy, Emma was about to change that. They were all going to take that from them, and Emma wished that didn’t have to be the case.

“They want to help, love, and I promise we’ll all be back to that state very soon. We’ve a wedding coming up after all, and nothing, not storm, nor man, nor beast is going to keep us from that, all right?”

Emma nodded before whispering that she loved him and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. She felt enough comfort from his promise to push forward, and though it broke her heart to see the moment when her parents and grandmother realized something was wrong, she persevered.

“Emma, honey, what’s wrong?” her mother asked.

“Are you hurt?” her father echoed, immediately standing up and coming towards her.

“No, Dad I’m fine. But Elsa’s been having some visions lately and we all need to be on our guard.”

From there the explanation rolled out as best it could. Emma and Killian spoke candidly about the original attacks, knowing that everyone had varying levels of information about what had happened. Even Emma learned more than she had about Killian’s perception on the other rogue and how the animal was possessed and totally transformed.

“There was no pushing through to his mind. No sense of self, no coherent thought,” Killian explained, his face stony though Emma could tell the memory still rattled him all these years later. “The wolf was manic and brutal and clearly unhinged. I thought of Brennan, because it was the only other time that everything felt wrong about a fellow shifter, but it was different enough that I let it slide. His smell was foul up close, his manners were jerky and heightened. I remember wondering if shifters could get rabies as well as ‘the bite’, because that’s the only think I could think to compare it to.”

“I can’t believe you both went through that,” Emma’s mother said, with tears in her eyes. She was no doubt still eaten up by the guilt of not being there for Emma all those years ago. They’d come to terms with this already, and spoken about it for the most part when Emma told them of Killian’s shifter status, but it probably never got easier as a parent to hear that your child had been in real danger.

“I’ve never heard of a shifter acting like that,” her father said, combing through his medical experience and the countless interactions he’s had with shifters over the years. “Shifters are immune to rabies; they regenerate and heal so quickly that an outside parasite or virus never survives long enough for it to get too bad. The only real sickness I’ve heard of is the one that you’ve both seen.”

Her father looked to Killian and Liam and it went without saying that the sickness in question was alpha sickness. For her part, Emma quietly considered the similarities. That rage and aggression, the want to attack when not actually provoked or threatened. It lined up in some ways, but she’d never seen someone with alpha sickness so out of control. Killian’s stories and memories of his father showed a twisted soul, but the man ultimately had control over himself when he wanted to display it. For Liam too he wasn’t so far gone as to have nothing left, but the wolf they had seen was anchorless, completely consumed with madness in a way that Emma had never experienced before.

“How similar was it to the bite, brother?” Liam asked, his voice clogged with his own twisting emotions.

“In your case? Not so similar. You always held onto who Liam was even with the beast inside. No, this wolf, was completely gone. Like the human and the shifter were erased. It was just animal – feral, primal, and unstoppable. The red of its eyes tells you that too – like the bloodlust of such a being physically cannot be concealed.”

“David, do any shifter species you know of have red eyes?”

“We’ve run through the lists, Mary Margaret,” Ruby said somberly. “Elsa and I each checked our family archives and there’s nothing like this mentioned.”

“Not to devalue the works of your family in any way, honey, but David has been doing this a long time and he has secrets and knowledge a coven of witches could go forever without ever amassing. Species of shifters long thought extinct, other paranormal who’ve kept their whole existence a secret, David has treated them and protected them all.”

“Is this true, Dad?” Emma asked and her father nodded.

“It’s true. I knew a lot as a hunter, but I know at least three times as much now. I probably have a grasp on any magic-adjacent species in the States. Now I’m sure you’ve ruled out mountain lions. You can rule out all the big cats, none of them are really all that red. Is there any chance they eyes are an auburn color? Dingo shifters have auburn eyes. It might explain why you thought it was a wolf.”

“Dingos, like Australia?” Anna asked, temporarily forgetting the crisis at hand and giving into the curiosity they were all sensing.

“Yes, Anna. Remember this is America. We’ve got people and shifters from all over the world. The melting pot exists for all species.”

Emma and Anna shared a look about how awesome that was, but unfortunately it wasn’t the time, and even worse her father’s insight hadn’t actually given them any answers.

“They weren’t auburn. They’re scarlet red, and this was definitely a wolf.”

“Well I’m sorry then, I don’t have any knowledge of a color like that,” David said sadly.

“But I might,” Emma’s grandmother replied, shocking everyone. “I’ve seen a shifter with eyes like that too.”

“Where?” they all asked at once.

“Gold’s compound.”

“I’m sorry… what?” Ruby’s shocked question pretty much summed up exactly how Emma felt at hearing this revelation.

“Gold had a shifter like that in his collection, with red eyes just like you’re describing. I’m sure of it.”

Ruth’s expression took on a pained quality as she recalled the animal in question, and Emma’s heart went out to her. It was hard to tell what exactly brought on the bad feelings. Was it related to this sickened shifter? Or was it all the unknown horror she’d experienced while in Gold’s clutches? Emma didn’t know for sure, but having had the pleasure of getting to know her grandmother recently, Emma knew of her profound empathy. While Ruth was likely suffering her own mental wounds at Gold’s hands, it wouldn’t be outlandish to think that she felt badly for not saving any other beings that might remain in the dark man’s clutches.

“Mom, you don’t have to talk about this,” Emma’s father said, knowing that it would be so difficult for his mother to go back to the headspace. She’d been trapped, and likely experimented on for years. It was invasive and wrong and terrible, but Ruth shook her head, looking determined to tell them all she knew.

“I appreciate you wanting to spare me, son, but if I can help protect this family, then that’s exactly what I aim to do. What do you all want to know?”

“Anything,” Killian said at the same time Elsa pleaded, “Everything.”

“Okay then. Well it was quick, so there isn’t too much to share, really. When I woke up, I struggled to put together what the hell was going on. I was in a room with a lot of trinkets and a lot of clutter, as I’ve told you all before, but amongst all the stuff, oh god, how do I put this delicately? There were, um… displays, I guess you could call them. Exhibits, maybe? All I know is Gold had taken the time to stage a lot of things, and it was clear I wasn’t the only living being that was being held against my will. I was the only human though, at least the only recognizable one, but I saw a lot of things I didn’t understand, and it scared me. I think it’s because as a descendent of hunters I thought I already knew everything the world had to offer. I was in on the big secret, you know? There shouldn’t have been more out there.”

Emma watched her Dad holding his Mom’s hand, offering her support. He swallowed harshly a number of times and it was clearly hard to hear this. It was hard for all of them, but as much as they never wanted to push before, her Grandmother’s memories could be critical for figuring out what the hell these red eyed beasts even were.

“Eventually though I realized that something had happened. I wasn’t supposed to be awake. I didn’t know how long I’d been there, and all I could think was I had to get out. I immediately tried to focus on finding a door or an exit, but I knew Gold must have some sort of mechanisms in place to keep track of his treasures. I kept an eye out for motion sensors or obvious magical fields that might give me away, but I didn’t see any. There were a couple of glowing items or ones that had strange energy if you got too close, so I just avoided them. I walked through this maze of stuff, and then when I got up and moved towards the door, I heard it. A low, menacing snarl that stopped me in my tracks.

“When I looked to the first real open space in the place I saw it – a huge bear, grizzly I think, but it could have just been brown. Either way, I panicked. I couldn’t see any sort of bars separating us and then it charged at me, and all I could see was its glowing red eyes. I’d never seen a bear shifter before, though, so I didn’t know if that was normal. I’d only seen wolves, coyotes, and the occasional mountain lion where I grew up. My brother, George, had mentioned bears before. He told me they were some of the strongest shifters in the world, and that a full-grown grizzly shifter could take down ten unsuspecting humans in under a minute.”

“So how did you get away?” Emma asked, thinking of how terrifying that must have been. The wolf she saw was huge, but bears would be even larger, and with red eyes like that? She honestly couldn’t understand how her grandmother could still be here.

“Right before it reached me, it hit a magical barrier, bouncing off of it hard. But what I noticed was the force field had the same red tint, but with almost a gold finish. It dissolved eventually, but I saw the depths of it and they were the same scarlet color as the eyes looking back at me.”

“Do you think that means something?” Emma asked Ruby and Ruby nodded.

“Magic manifests in different colors, but most witches have a certain signature finish. The gold probably means Gold himself cast the spell. It would better explain his name for sure.”

“But the magic itself was red. Is that common?” Emma asked and Ruby shook her head.

“No. I told you all before red is a rare color in the magical world. The only spells that are a deep and enduring red involve blood magic. Rituals, sacrifices, curses, that kind of thing. They manifest as a crimson color, but there are dark forces being used. The color comes from the blood needed for the magic itself, but from what I’ve read it’s exactly how you’ve all described the eyes so far. God, now it all makes sense! The shifters with the red eyes must be cursed with some sort of magic. I’ve just never heard of any magic used on shifters like that and lasting long term. Shifters tend to have a lot of immunity to spells. It’s like David talked about with illness. We don’t stay cursed for long because our bodies flush whatever is harmful from our systems. It would have to be an insanely strong charm. Gold alone couldn’t cast it.”

“So what are you saying?” Killian asked and Ruby shook her head, like she was trying to sift through her thoughts in a way that made sense even to her.

“I’m saying that this is way bigger than we thought. If it’s magic that’s causing this, it would have to involve the power of dozens of witches.”

“So there’s a whole fleet of bad guys to take down right now, at least if we want to stop these cursed shifters?” Emma clarified, her fear and dread amplifying to an even higher degree.

“Not necessarily. Technically Gold could have taken the magic from other witches in one of his transactions. If he made a deal with a witch, he could collect their powers to use at his own discretion.”

“Could he take magic from pixies or sprites, or is this just a witch to witch thing?” David asked and Ruby looked shocked before stuttering her reply.

“They still exist?” Emma watched her father nod. “Well then yes, technically any magic wielding being could be harvested. Dark magic like that is tricky though. It’s dangerous and untethering. If Gold has managed to do that, he’s so much more of a risk than any of us have ever known.”

“Is that what you see though, Ruby? Because hearing all of this hasn’t given me total clarity like it usually would,” Elsa confessed. “Certain parts make sense – there’s definitely magic tied into this somehow - but I feel like if Gold were so all-powerful I’d have sensed him. He’s never been in the dreams, it’s always just been the animals and me. I don’t know… it just doesn’t feel quite right.”

Everyone took Elsa’s words with all of the care and attention that they deserved. After all, Elsa was the vessel for any of their awareness of what might be coming their way. Her instincts were second to none, and Emma knew that even if it wasn’t all adding up, she would always side with Elsa’s gut over another theory. Still, it was best for all of them to be prepared for any scenario and to do everything they could to find out more.

The conversation continued with everyone trying to think of what they could do next. Who could they consult, and where could they look for answers? It was a tricky thing, but it seemed their only real lead for now was Gold. But before Emma could get pulled into the logistics of tracking him down, her phone rang, chiming out the sound of an incoming video call. Strange – nearly everyone she ever spoke with on the phone was here, but then Emma saw it was her little brother calling and she grew even more curious. He was coming home from camp in just a few more days and he didn’t usually call her, especially not when there were activities keeping him and the other campers busy all day. Immediately she could sense something was wrong.

“Hi Neal, you doing ok?” Emma asked as the call connected, but when her brother’s face appeared, she could tell he was troubled by something.

“I don’t know, Emma. Something really weird just happened. Some random guy came up to me just now outside.”

“Where are you, are you safe?” Emma asked before waving her parents over to her. When her Mother saw Emma’s little brother on the screen, she grew immediately more agitated.

“I’m back in the main building again, in a room next to our robotics lab. I told my counselor I had to talk to you and she said it was okay to come in here for a few minutes.”

“What happened?” Emma asked.

“Well, I was walking back from our room for our afternoon session with Jackson,” Emma looked to her father who mouthed ‘roommate’ to her. “But then Jackson forgot his ipad and had to run back for it. I kept walking so I wouldn’t be late, and a few moments later this older guy came up to me and just started talking. It was like he was waiting for me; he knew my name and everything.”

“What did he try to talk to you about?”

“About you and me.” She and Neal? What the hell?!

“What did he say exactly?” Her father asked and Neal recited the conversation back with authority.

“He said, ‘I’ve wondered a long while what you would be like.’ I told him I had to go because I got a bad feeling from him, but he stood in my path and wouldn’t move. I was going to call for help or something, but there was suddenly no one around, and then he just kept talking. He said I was meant to be ‘unyielding and unfailing,’ that I should have been a ‘true Nolan hunter if I wasn’t what I was’ whatever that means.”

“Did he say anything else?” Emma asked, not following what they’re being descended from hunters had to do with anything here. Gold knew of that obviously, because of the deal he made with her grandmother, but was that really relevant somehow?

“Yeah, he said that you and I were meant for so much more. Then he talked about my getting sick – I don’t know exactly what he was getting at, it didn’t all make sense. He was kind of talking in circles, and I didn’t follow him at all. But the last thing he said was that you, Emma, were the last hope but that you made the wrong choice.”

Emma was so frazzled as to all of this that she didn’t know how to process anything that was said. Who the heck was this person? And most importantly, was it safe for Neal to stay there anymore? She didn’t think so, and neither did her Dad who ducked into the house, coming out a moment later with his keys in hand after her Mom had taken over the call, trying to get details about what the man looked like.

“Neal, I want you to stay with your counselor no matter what. If that man comes back you call the police immediately. I’m coming to get you, I’ll be there soon.”

“Dad it’s okay, I’m fine,” her brother said, but Emma wasn’t so sure. He looked really relieved at the thought of their Dad coming to get him.

“No, Neal, we’re coming,” Emma’s mother confirmed. “I know it’s a few days early, but it’s for the best. Now please can you bring the phone to your counselor, I’d like to talk to her.”

While her mother continued to talk to whoever was in charge at Neal’s program, Emma and her father moved to the others. They were quickly filled in that there had been an incident, but Emma was surprised by her father’s response to it all. “Killian, Liam, and Graham, I’d feel better if you all came with us.”

“Are you sure, David? If it’s Gold one of the girls should go,” her grandmother offered. “Elsa or Ruby would be better able to track him.”

“No, Mom. This isn’t Gold. It’s George.”

“David, you can’t possibly know that-,”

“Why do you think it’s your Uncle?” Emma asked, ignoring her grandmother’s protest because she knew it stemmed more from fear than any actual proof. All it took was one look in grandma Ruth’s direction to know that the mention of her brother truly rattled her.

“It’s the way he talked about the hunters. He used a closely guarded family phrase, one even you don’t know, Mom. Gold wouldn’t ever have access to that because they weren’t even in your memories. It has to be George, and if he’s come for my son, I need the strongest people with us, just in case.”

“Okay, I told Neal’s counselor there’s been a family emergency and warned her that your Uncle might come back but that he’s not a stable man.”

“You knew it was him?” Emma asked and her mother nodded.

“He used the Nolan words.”

Emma should have known that her father would never have secrets from her mother. Of course she knew everything, and Mary Maragert’s memory was a great and powerful thing. But whatever her mother’s many strengths may be, she was ill fit for the quarrel and Emma’s father told her that, remaining adamant that she not come.  

“You need to stay here, Mary Margaret.”

“David, I am not staying here! We are going to get our son and that’s that.”

“No it isn’t. I will get Neal, I promise you I will protect him from this, but I need to know you and Emma are safe. The house is prepared for a situation like this. I didn’t know if he’d ever find us, but I planned it out just in case. We’ll be back in just a few hours, but I can’t -,” her father’s voice broke in anguish. “I can’t risk you or Emma coming along for this. It’s too dangerous.”

Emma fully expected her mother to rebuke this request from her Dad, but there was no denying that David was doing everything in his power to protect them. Ultimately Emma trusted her Dad. If he said that her Uncle was threatening, she believed him, and though she hated to stay behind and wait, she also knew that being there would make her a liability. She was still a new shifter and she was too close to this emotionally. And her mother, bright and capable as she may be, was human, with no training and no powers to fall back on.

“You bring our boy back to me, David. You bring him back, and you bring yourself back. There’s no other option. This family will stay together, do you hear me?”

“Loud and clear,” he replied, pulling Mary Margaret in for a quick kiss and sharing a silent moment with her. At the same time Killian took Emma’s hand in his, drawing her attention back to him. Her heart leapt into her throat. She was worried about how dangerous this might be, but the look in his eyes was completely assured and steadfast.

“I’ll be back before you even have chance to miss me,” Killian whispered and Emma shook her head, fending off tears caused by her lingering anxiety.

“Not possible,” she replied pulling him in by the cloth of his shirt. “Be safe, okay?”

“Always, love.”

With a last gentle kiss, Emma watched her mate, her father, and the others leave, knowing that she wouldn’t feel even a shred of peace until they were back again. Looking to Elsa and Ruby, she knew they felt similarly, but her mother was the one hurting the most. The tears Emma had tried to fight spilled over on her mother’s cheeks, but Mary Margaret wiped them away quickly, unwilling to give into the riotous emotions. Emma did the only thing she could think to make it better, she hugged her Mom and made a promise of her own.

“It’s going to be okay, Mom. I love you”

“I love you too, Emma. Always, always, always.”

With that, there was nothing left to do but wait and trust that everything would be okay in the end, and in the meantime they all had many questions still to answer. With three new threats on the horizon and no way of knowing who or what might strike first, they were all at a standstill. That was debilitating, but it also motivated all of them to stand together and try to fight the only way they could – through scouring their memories and resources for clues.

………………….

Standing in the clearing he’d scoped out on the edge of this all-too-quaint town of Storybrooke, he couldn’t help but feel like victory was already in his grasp. The plan was perfect and the stage was set. It was nearly time for resolution after so many years of waiting, and he grinned at the thought that the light and the hopeful magic surrounding this place would soon be extinguished. Gone were the days of peace and calm in this little town in Maine. A reckoning was here, and he would be the one to bring it.

The buzzing of his phone alerted him to the call he was awaiting. He hated these blasted things, but now and then they served their purpose. He answered without preface, only seeking one answer of any merit. “Is it done?”

“Yes. It went exactly as you said it would.”

“Good.”

Hanging up, he broke the phone into pieces and tossed it in the shallow waters of the river bed beside him. He had no use for it anymore. All he had to do was wait. A little more time and they’d be in the clear, a little more time and the moment he’d yearned for would truly arrive.

Waiting in the silence would phase many others, but he didn’t think of them as he stood there in the quiet. They were nothing to him, lacking in vision and smarts and everything that made him worthy. It was him and him alone with the power and the brains to complete this. He may have made some deals along the way, but the glory of this would belong to him. The pride he felt at that was all he clung to, and he disregarded any past missteps that led him here. This was a war and not a battle, and thanks to the element of surprise, he was certain that this war was about to end decidedly in his favor.

“It’s time,” he said aloud finally, knowing no one could here him, save the monster in his keep. With assured movements he walked to the cage where the beast resided, looking the bear in the eyes with another wicked grin. “Find the girl and her companions. Spare none of them, and when that’s over take the rest of the town as well.”

With one last burst of locks and mechanisms, the bear was freed and looked liable to let out a loud roar and charge its master, but the collar that it wore restricted that urge. It compelled this animal to do what it was meant for, and with a last menacing look, the bear charged in the direction of the Nolans and their extended brood, destined to cause a destruction the likes that none of them had ever seen before.  

Post- Note: I know that so many of you are going to be so mad at me for this cliff hanger and trust me, I am just as mad at myself! But there’s so much that has to happen it can’t all fit in one chapter. I PROMISE there will be resolution in the next installment, and I also promise that you’ll forgive me in the end for this. However, truthfully I’m not fully sure when the next chapter will be published. It’s so hectic right now with school and my traveling that I have still a little more writing and editing to do before I actually post. But please trust that I will do my best to get you the next chapter and put you all out of your misery ASAP. Thank you so much for reading and hope you’ll tune in next time!

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