#greys anatomy angst

[corynation]

OMG NO 😂😂

From what i saw from greys he isnt dereks brother i think ??

Also... Mark slept with dereks sister in the show so i thought it was ok to ask?

Sorry if i didnt make myself clear tho 😂

But she can totally not be dereks sister

Anyway sorry for the confusion

New Beginnings

alex karev x reader

tags : angst, some fluff, uhhh more tags, this is a little everywhere but i hope its okay, not that sad but enough to need a part 2

“Derek? Wha-“

“I need to stay here tonight.” He kept his head down as he shuffled his way through the door, water drops flowing off his hair.

“Is everything okay? Where’s Addison?” The look Derek gave you was almost enough to answer every question that was running through your head. You stood silently as he threw his duffel bag on the couch, his soaked jacket following. He plopped down in the arm chair, palms rubbing his face.

“I’ll get you some hot cocoa to warm up.”

“No don’t I’m fine.”

Your eyebrow raised at his poor attempt in deterring your concern.

“Oh god you look like mom.” Derek chuckled, lighting the heaviness in the room.

“What happened with Addison Derek? Why are you here?”

His face dropped once more almost immediately. The change drawing regret straight out of your core. “I found her sleeping with Sloan.”

“Mark!?” Hearing the most unexpected name come out your stomach churned in a way that made you swear you were about to hurl. The barriers around your emotions all crumbling at once.

“Are we really surprised.” Derek sighed, flattening himself out onto the couch.

“I mean? Yes? No? I don’t.. I mean he’s your best friend?” Surely it wasn’t out of character for Marks sexual.. tendencies to say the least. But still there was a part of you that couldn’t believe he’d sleep with the wife of the man he practically called a brother. Especially after growing so close to him in the past months. You shared everything together and nothing that was said or done could’ve prepared you for this. Your heart ached more then it ever did before, both for Derek but also yourself. Mark was your first, and you had naively convinced yourself he’d be the last. And though you wanted more than anything to curl up in a ball on the floor with Derek and sob your eyes out until the numb feeling that soared through your nerve endings disappeared, Derek didn’t know anything about you and Mark, and you sure as hell weren’t about to have this be the time he finds out. It took more then you thought you had in you to conceal your emotions. Fighting back the familiar sting of tears became a war for the first time, but you stood your ground against it. Sure you and Mark hadn’t taken the time to talk about making things exclusive, but really you didn’t think you needed to. What you felt with Mark was enough to flood your senses full, not able to even consider someone else entering the picture.

And maybe you were stupid to think he felt the same.

It felt futile to hide the burn in your chest, knowing it was evident in your face. But still you tried to mask your feelings, hoping it would be seen as nothing but compassion towards your brother. You’d drag the sun out by your bare hands to bring sunshine after a life of darkness if it meant the best for Derek.

“Yeah well obviously that doesn’t mean much.” The scene of Derek face down on the couch with his arms dangling at weird angles was almost comical enough to bring you out of your anger. In a sad attempt to stifle your laugh, a small giggle escaped your lips. Derek just looked up from his resting spot and gave you the warmest smile you’ve seen from him all night, the picture perfect resemblance of a child.

“Derek I don’t-“ You were cut off mid sentence by the ringing of Dereks phone. He was hesitant to pick it up, most likely praying to himself it wasn’t the two talks of the night.

“Hold that thought I have to take this.” He cleared his throat before answering the phone, his eyebrows stiffening. “Hi Richard, sorry for emailing so late..” Was all you caught as he stepped out of the room.

The anticipation building in you was almost enough to drive you mad. Derek had been on the phone for ten minutes now and you weren’t able to hear any of it. You had began your (what felt like at least) 100th lap around the room, as Derek finally stepped back in. The suspense in the room falling instantly as his demeanor brought nothing but a strange joy.

“Richard Webber from Seattle Grace just called.”

“Okay..?” You sat down on the couch, Derek following.

“He found us both a job, very well pay, I’d be head of neuro, and you’ll be a trauma attending ! It’s perfect! He said he could even throw in a sign on bonus for you for the sudden notice! We start Monday.”

“At Seattle Grace?”

“Well obviously.”

“Derek? Are you insane? Like are you actually going insane because if you are I can understand why.”

“Am I.. Are you going insane? Y/n this is the perfect job opportunity! It’s everything you’ve worked for come on!”

There was a shared silence between the two of you, you each studying the other trying to feel out the mix of emotions you both had been throwing out into the room. Derek looked at you with eyes of an insane man, his lips a curl of typical mischief.

“Derek. This job is in Seattle. Seattle Washington! We live in New York! You can not bring in a life changing job, and move, that I have to do in two days and expect me to jump at it! I know you want to get away from Addison right now but Seattle seriously? Don’t you think that’s taking it a little far?”

“Yes! That’s the point. Come with me or don’t but you’ll sure as hell look idiotic for not.” You let out a sigh at his words, your jaw tensing.

“Derek we’re talking about both of our whole lives right now. Our family is here, our homes, hell our jobs!”

~

“Y/n! welcome to Seattle Grace. I know the offer was a short notice but I appreciate you coming.” Richard Webber, the chief of Seattle Grace, greeted you at the entrance. A great smile plastered across his face as he reached out to shake your hand.

“Of course Richard. Thank you for the offer. I know you wanted me out sooner but like I told Derek, it was insane for me to do the move in two days. So I really do appreciate the exception, it was more than generous of you.” You smiled, accepting the greeting.

“Oh i know it was. But anything for an old friend’s family. And it would be great to have another genius on hand.”

“Old friend?”

“Oh yes, Dr. Shepherd and I have worked on a few cases together in the past. I’ve spent my fair share of time in New York.” Richard spoke as he began to walk through the hospital, his hand reaching behind him to motion for you to follow. “Now I know Derek has been working here for a week now, and could show you around, but I’m going to go ahead and assign you an intern for the day. Someone to show you around and have do all the unnecessary paperwork for you.”

“Oh no Dr. Webber, no need to do that. You’ve already accommodated so much around me. Surely I can find my way around today.”

“Absolutely no need for that Dr. Shepherd. Let me make the day easier for you please.” You smiled at Richard and nodded, fully appreciating the gesture. He nodded and turned around, his finger pointing to a shorter woman across the room at the nurses station.

“Bailey!” The woman whipped her head around, eyebrows raised and an unfazed expression spread on her face. She began walking towards you and Richard, five other doctors following her lead almost immediately. You giggled to yourself as they all looked like a scene of baby ducks following their mom; though these baby ducks did look particularly tired and worn.

“Can you give me one of your children please. I need someone to be with Dr. Shepherd for the day while she settles in. You know like show her around yada yada.”

“Karev go.” Dr. Bailey ordered turning around and beginning to walk back to what she was doing.

“Me? But I’ve got-“ One of the doctors that had been following Bailey began saying, walking backwards to keep up with her in order to plea.

“Karev. GO.”

He stood in the middle of the room, arms up in defeat. You almost felt bad for him until he turned to face you, eyes narrowed and lips pursed as if this was somehow your fault.

“Come on lets get this over with.” He snarled while walking back towards you.

“Hey don’t be pissed at me, I sure as hell didn’t want you to be the one showing me around.” Karev stopped to take a good look at you, almost completely dumbfounded after your response. He scanned your face, either trying to decide who you were to talk to him like that, or the opposite of the spectrum and he was just trying to hide his admiration.

Your grand hospital tour was finally coming to an end after almost two hours. Alex had taken the time to show you each wing, introduce you to each head of department, and even showed you the vending machines that are least likely to scam you. At first he had seemed like a nightmare to be around, almost like a brooding angsty teenager who didn’t like anyone, but after warming up to him (or maybe him warming up to you?) Alex actually seemed more then tolerable. He made you laugh more then you have in awhile. His presence lighting you more than you’ve felt since your first night with Mark, which in all honesty bewildered you more then you imagined. Questioning yourself on how, or why you had become so comfortable around Alex in such little of time.

Honestly he felt like Mark felt. But for some sick reason, that maybe was just a play on your emotions, the man you had just met three hours ago made you feel lighter then Mark had in 20 years. He felt like a flow of fresh rain water after a drought, cleansing you of all toxins and slowly making you new. He was rain and you were the starved flower.

Yet Mark felt like the water saved from the last rain. Still coursing through your veins and settling into your heart and soul. Something that once kept you alive, was once your everything, now something you couldn’t get out of your system without feeling like you were sucked dry, moments away from an inevitable end.

It hadn’t quite struck you how much the Mark situation had hit you before now. Really you hadn’t had time to feel how the situation made you feel. The thought of butterflies returning to you uncovered a deep empty void that was quick to cover your senses.

The sudden wave of emotions hit you hard, but still you tried to remain as unaffected by it as possible. Though you knew you had done quite the shitty job of that after you caught Alex glancing at you with concern from the corner of your eye.

“So,” he coughed, obviously trying to diffuse the odd tension that had began. “What department do you plan to work in after residency?”

“Well actually I’m a trauma attending.”

“Attending? You look younger than me!”

“Well I am 24.” You giggled at the widened eyes of Alex, his jaw practically on the floor.

“24!?”

“Yep! Baby of the family.”

“Baby of the entire hospital! I mean how’d you even get here?”

“Well Dr. Karev that is a long story we could discuss over coffee tomorrow morning.” It was out your mouth before you could even sit to consider it. Alex looked taken aback for a moment, obviously not expecting that just as much as you were.

“Deal.” Alex warmly smiled, his eyes gleaming with something more than before.

okay hii!!! this req is so late im so sorry😭 also this isnt the og post but i cant find that one so I am using this!!! im gonna be honest ive wrote this little by little over the past few months so i really hope its all somewhat cohesive ????? idk atleast readable but im also crossing my fingers that this is okay cause its my first req :)

so without being said i hope you guys enjoyed and i will be making a part two trust 🙏🏻

and listen i know being 24 and being an attending is like damn near impossible but its greys. there was literally a unfazed bazooka in a guys chest.

[nottawriter]

Working on mental reframing practices with my therapist...

Lexie Grey died, so that

Alex Danvers could badass

Morgana Pendragon died, so that

Lena Luthor could badass

[florrysgf]

LOOK AT ME! alex karev x fem!reader

SUMMARY: in which you struggle after the loss of a patient, and alex is there to calm you down

WARNINGS: panic attack, grief, mentions of death

WORD COUNT: 0.8k +

The moment you heard the machine flatline, you swore you felt your heart in your throat. You also felt the sweat dripping down your brow as you immediately shook your head, locking your hands and starting compressions on the patients chest. You couldn’t lose her, you just couldn’t. She had four kids, for God’s sake. No matter how many times you pressed against her chest, she just wasn’t coming back.

“No,” You whispered, warm tears threatening to spool from your eyelids. “C’mon,” you breathed.

Dr. Bailey came up behind you, a similar look of grief in her eyes as she gently grasped your shoulder, attempting to pull you away. “Dr. L/N,”

“C’mon!” You yelled out with a shaky, broken voice.

“Dr. L/N,” Miranda tried again, a little more forcefully this time, but you just didn’t stop. The rest of the surgeons in the OR stayed silent, sharing looks, none of them wanting to interfere with your clear distress. “Dr. L/N, she’s gone.”

You let out a pained sob and your body suddenly went limp. Dr. Bailey stepped in front of you, pulling your hands away from the patient as you were positioned next to Dr. Shepherd. He rested a hand on your shoulder whilst you fixated your eyes on Miranda, inhaling as she looked up at the clock.

“Time of death: 21:04.”

Dr. Bailey’s words rattled through you so fast, that you felt yourself struggling to breath. “No, no, no,” The heat began to spread through your body, it felt like the walls were closing in, like you you were going to explode. You had to get out of there.

Ripping off your scrub cap, you burst through the OR doors, running out into the hall and collapsing against the wall. “No,” you whispered once more, clutching your chest with both of your hands, trying your best to steady your breathing. All you could hear was the screeching sound of the machine filling your ears, and the hospital corridor around you was now a blur.

“Oh my god, Y/N.” You ever so slightly managed to hear the familiar voice of your boyfriend calling out your name, as he knelt down beside you, concern spread all across his face.

“Y/N, babe,” Alex watched as you sat slumped against the wall, your hands pressed to your chest and you heaved. He extended out his arms, one tightly gripping your shoulder, and the other cupping your cheek at an attempt to reassure you. “Y/N.” He repeated, keeping his tone soft not to stress you further. “Y/N, I need you to look at me, please. Can you do that?”

When your struggles for breath got faster, Alex quickly started to panic, “Y/N, look at me!” He sternly said, shaking you slightly and pulling you harshly back into reality. He watched as your eyelids flickered open, as your rapid breaths calmed down when you looked at him. There you were. You never told him what happened - you couldn’t. Nor did you need to, the look in your eyes told him all he needed to know.

You studied his face. Alex seemed sad. For the patient and her family, but more so for you. He knew that you were blaming yourself, but it wasn’t your fault. And he needed you to know that. He pulled you in for a hug, allowing you to sob into his shoulder the second he wrapped his arms around you. You felt his hands rub soft circles on your back, whilst he pressed gentle kisses to your temple. “Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. Need you to calm down for me.”

“It’s all my fault.” You croaked out between sobs as you heavy breaths finally slowed down.

“Hey,” Alex scolded, pulling away from the embrace. He cupped your cheeks with both his hands, pulling your chin up to ensure you were looking at him. “Don’t say that, don’t you ever say that.” His tone was stern yet sincere, “There was nothing else you could’ve done. She was sick, she’d been sick for a long time. It was not your fault, Y/N. Okay?”

“Okay,” you whispered under your breath, but loud enough that he could still hear you, “Okay.”

Alex continued to hold you as you calmed down, it felt as though the the whole world was crumbling away from underneath you both. As the two of you sat there against the wall, thoughts began to swirl around your head again, thoughts of what was going to happen next. “Oh god,” you whimpered, sitting up slightly as your eyes filled once more, “I have to tell her husband.”

Alex tightened his grip on you. He’s just calmed you down, if you got stressed out again you’d only hurt yourself. “No.” He was quick to shake his head, “No, you don’t. Bailey can do it. You need to stay here with me and calm down or you’ll make yourself sick.”

[upat4amwiththemoon]

hi! saw that your requests are open and if you want to could you write a fic with amelia shepard x reader. kind of a mental health fic where reader is struggling (depression or something) and either amelia and reader are a couple or reader is someone coming into the ER (or something else) but either way amelia decides to help R and eventually they become a couple (if they’re not already). i hope you understand what i mean?

anyway, thank you!

i’ll die anyway.

Summary: It’s still hard to find reasons to stay alive.

Pairing: Amelia Shepherd x female!reader

Warnings: depression

Word count: 824

a/n: Amelia Shepherd please cure my mental illnesses <3

masterlists | guidelines

Even though Amelia is oftentimes busy with her work, being the self proclaimed best neurosurgeon, she still makes time for her girlfriend, who unlike her, doesn’t have such a mess of a schedule. However, she just came to the realization that date nights haven’t happened in a while. She really hasn’t properly seen Y/N in a while.

Which is why, after arriving back home, Amelia’s first mission is to find Y/N. She goes up the stairs, towards their shared bedroom, still wearing her scrubs. She frowns as she steps into the room. No one is there. It’s dark and the bed is messy, which indicates Y/N has been there recently.

The sound of water hits her ears. Amelia knocks on the door opposite of their bedroom, trying to open it, but it’s mocked. “Y/N?” She calls out, growing worried at the silence coming from the other side. “Are you okay in there?” There’s slight humor to her voice, but it’s only there to mask her anxiety.

A quiet yeah comes from the other side of the door, but it doesn’t ease Amelia.

“You think you could open the door for me?” It takes a while, but eventually Amelia can hear the soft clink of the lock. She opens the door carefully, only peeking her head in first. When she sees fully clothes Y/N sitting under the running shower, she steps in the room fully, closing the door behind her so the warmth of the water wouldn’t escape. “What are you doing?” She has a gentle smile on her face as she kneels near Y/N. She recognizes the look in her eyes.

“I think I’m getting sick.” She whispers. Water droplets are getting all over her eyes and mouth, but she doesn’t seem to care.

“Sick?” Amelia shuts the shower off, getting no reaction from Y/N. She sets the back of her hand to her girlfriend’s wet forehead. “You don’t feel warm.” She states quietly.

Y/N hums. Her hands are hidden in the sleeves of the hoodie she’s wearing. It’s oversized, one of her favorites, mostly because it’s technically Amelia’s hoodie. Her eyes are unfocused, so she rarely blinks, only when water slides over her eyes.

“Maybe getting out of the wet clothes would help?” Amelia’s tone makes the sentence sound like a question, but it’s more of a request, as she is already helping Y/N up before she has a chance to answer. She leads her into the bedroom, not caring about the trail of water dripping to the floors. “I’m going to get you some clothes, okay?”

Amelia starts looking through their wardrobe, picking the coziest looking clothes for the both of them. She helps Y/N out of the wet clothes and into the clean ones before she changes out of her scrubs.

“Have you eaten today?” She’s pretty sure she already knows the answer, and it worries her, since she had a ten hour shift today. Y/N shakes her head, confirming Amelia’s fears. “Okay, I’m going to order us some food.”

After leading Y/N to the bed, she picks up her phone and orders the food that’ll arrive to their house the quickest. She sets her phone back down, making sure it’s not silenced so she’ll hear when their food arrives.

She sits down next to Y/N, leaning her bad against the backboard, she pulls Y/N’s back into her chest. “Can you tell me how you’re feeling?” Amelia pulls the covers over them before wrapping her arms around Y/N.

She sighs, slowly leaning the side of her head against Amelia’s. “I don’t know.” She whispers, her voice slightly wobbly. “I don’t feel anything but I’m feeling everything at the same time. It’s like I’m stuck in a hole and I can’t scream for help.” Taking a shaky breath, her voice turns almost too quiet for Amelia to hear, “it feels like it doesn’t matter if I’m dead or alive.”

“Maybe we could go meet up with a psychotherapist together tomorrow?”

Y/N hesitates. Asking for, or receiving help has never been something she can do easily. “I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.”

“But it is.” Amelia states in a way that leaves no room for arguments. “Mental health needs to be always taken seriously.”

Emotions mull through Y/N’s body. She feels guilty and bad for letting Amelia see, for making her worry, that’s not what she wants. She feels like going to psychotherapy would mame it worse, it’d solidify the fact there’s something wrong with her.

Amelia’s embrace turns tighter, bringing Y/N back to the present. Her hands have started shaking, she didn’t notice. “You don’t have to decide now.” Amelia whispers into her ear. “We’ll think and talk about later, okay?” Y/N nods, letting herself relax for now as she lays on her girlfriend, and tries to forget her worries.

[romanoffs-widow]

Sorry for everything

Sum: Nat takes out her anger on you after a stressful couple of weeks.

Warnings ⚠️ : Shouting, arguing, and split up?

A/N: Thank you very much to @bobisek96 for requesting this fic, I hope it's okay 😭 and tysm to everyone for all the love on my (not actually first) first fic! I appreciate you all sm ❤️

(I promise there is eventual fluff 😅)

Happy reading! 😊

NATASHA POV:

Everyone thinks being an Avenger is so easy. All you gotta do is a couple of fights and interviews, and that's it, right? Wrong. These last couple of weeks have had me exhausted and honestly drained.

Steve and Tony keep arguing about useless crap, Lena accidentally stained the couch with red wine and didn't even tell me, so I sat in it and stained my favourite sweatpants and I've had to do 6 different interviews because Tony had a cold and couldn't do them, and on top of all that, Morgan has clung to me like a magnet since her dad has been sick. I love kids, and I really do, but not when I'm exhausted and keep having nightmares, leaving me sleepless almost every other night.

"Hey Natty," she says with that smile I love so much. I don't know what it is, but even y/n/n can't cheer me up today. Too tired to respond, I just give her a nod. Hopefully, she can see I don't want to talk right now.

I went to change into comfier clothes. I feel a pair of hands wrap around my waist. I shrug her off, getting annoyed. "Are you okay, baby?" I roll my eyes as I put my top over my head. "I'm fine." Maybe now she'll get it? "You know if you don't want to talk to me, just say." She says it with a tone that tips me ove rather edge.

"You know what? Maybe I don't want to talk to you. Maybe all I want to do is lay down in our bed and try my very best to relax! I have had such a hard couple weeks, and all you do is bug me because you're a pathetic childish wench that wants my attention all the time! If you knew what I go through every single day as an Avenger, maybe you'd at least try to understand how hard my job is! So please just shut your whiny mouth up and get out. I don't want to see your face EVER AGAIN!"

Y/N POV:

My vision is beyond blurry as I feel the endless stream of tears rolling down my cheeks. My hands are shaking, and anxiety is sitting heavy on top of my chest. "Alright. O-okay." I get up, and without saying anymore, I grab my backpack and start shoving a bunch of clothing into it. I go into the bathroom and grab my toothbrush, as well as the other necessities that belonged to me.

With my bag and arms full with items, I give the redhead one last look. Her face is still red from all the shouting she did as she stared at the floor, in the same spot she'd been in for a couple of minutes. I give her a small nod, sniffling as I close the door. I am fully aware the whole compound heard all of that, and honestly, they should. I don't deserve to be treated like that.

I'm going to miss this place. The past 9 years of my life have been spent living here, getting to know all of the amazing people within. I had so many memories here, one of the first being when Morgan was born. She had a head full of hair and a smile that looked just like her fathers'.

As I walked out of the tower, I went to the first person I could think of. Wanda Maximoff, my best friend of 5 years. She does live in the compound, but she also owns an apartment on the other side of the city for emergencies. She gave me a spare key when she got it. Thankfully, I'd never used it before, so I'd never seen the interior of the four walls.

Memories, good and bad swirls around in my head, as I twist the bronze key into the lock. It took me an hour to get here, with the bus and all. I get settled in, as I know I'll be staying here for a while. I started getting myself a snack when I heard the door swing open. I look at it to see the red magic I'd come to know very well.

"Y/n/n honey? Are you in here?" As soon as I hear her voice, I run over to her, the flow of tears starting up again. "Oh my god, are you okay? She didn't hurt you, did she?" I shake my head, unable to speak. "Oh, my poor baby. I'm so sorry I didn't find you sooner. Everyone is out looking for you. I'd better call Pietro and tell him to tell everyone you're safe."

I just hug her tighter. "E-e-even...?" She looks at me with guilt in her eyes. "We all heard what she said to you, and F.R.I.D.A.Y said that you'd left, so we all went looking for you. None of us have heard from her since." By now, I've soaked her hoodie with my never-ending tears.

"Shhhh, it's okay, you're okay." Wanda whispers as she rubs my back to calm me down.

1 MONTH LATER...

I hear a knock at the door. Wanda only left, and she had her own key, so it definitely wasn't her, and i haven't ordered any packages. Deciding i dont care, I go to open it. I see nothing but a white teddy bear holding an envelope sitting on the welcome mat. There is no sign of anyone being here, as the halls are silent. I pick up the toy and bring it inside, closing the door. I go and put it on the counter, taking the red letter from its paws. It had my first initial on the front.

Our place, 2 pm?

- N xx

I roll my eyes. Even if I was very upset with her, she always knew how to make me smile. I check the clock, seeing it's already 1pm, so I decide to start getting ready.

I step into the shop and immediately see Natasha. As I get closer, I can see that she has bags under her eyes, and I see that her knuckles are all red and sore. She's probably been training to get her mind off us. "Hey," She goes to hug me, and I let her. "Hi." She ordered both our favourite drinks.

"How have you been?" I scoff. "What kind of a question is that? My girlfriend of 9 years kicked me out because she was having a rough couple of weeks and hasn't even bothered talking to me for a whole month, and you think I'm okay?" She looks down with guilt filled eyes. "...no. Sorry."

I sip from my cup. "Are you gonna give me some pathetic excuse as for why you made me leave like that, or what?" She nods her head, and takes a Depp breath.

"What I said was really messed up. I shouldn't have called you any of those rude names or said any of that to you. I was having a hard couple of weeks, and I just wanted some quiet. Which I got. But by all means, that's no excuse to take my anger out on you. I don't know if you even want to talk to me anymore after what I did, and I know I don't deserve your forgiveness or anything remotely close but I really am sorry y/n/n. These past 9 years have meant so much to me, and I don't want them to go down the drain because of my stupid actions."

She pauses for a while. Waiting for me to give her some sort of response. "Thank you. I'm sorry for bothering you so much, but it would be very helpful if you communicated how you feel to me, so I know when you need space. I haven't forgiven you. That's going to take a long time, but if you're willing to work on this, so am I. Okay?" She puts her hand on top of mine. "Okay."

6 MONTHS LATER...

Everything had been going actually quite well with y/n, and I. I've been working on my communication, and she's been helping me to recognise when I feel like I need space. She's moved back into the compound, and as of recently, she's started staying in our room again.

"Hey baby." I forgot how much I love her voice. "Hi malysh. Cuddles?" She nods her head and wraps herself around me on the couch. We quickly get sucked into our newfound favourite show, Greys Anatomy. "Meredith really is gorgeous, but not as gorgeous as you!" I say as I give her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm nothing compared to McDreamy." I laugh, knowing she loves Derek too much.

"Sorry...for everything." She turns to look at me with her eyebrows furrowed, abandoning our show. "I know. It's okay." She adjusts herself so she can kiss my lips. "I love you." She snuggled back onto me, sucking back into the show.

[emilyhufflepufftlk]

Sometimes it’s good to be scared. It means you still have something to lose. - Richard Webber, Grey’s Anatomy

@morosemagick @solinarimoon @lauwrite1225 @magravenwrites @93xdiagonxalley @trenko-heart @persephones-journey @medievalfangirl @cibs @blah-blah-blah-bla @anotherwinchesterfangirl @muddleofnervouswords @sylas-the-grim

[ihrtreid]

legend: ☆ angst | ♡ fluff | ⚣ smut / implied smut

i wrote everything on this page. if you see it anywhere else that is not one of the linked accounts in my carrd, please don’t hesitate to let me know. also,

things to note... —

all of my works are male reader and always will be.

i will update as much as possible, as soon as possible.

while i can and will write for shows i'm not familiar with, i primarily write for the male characters of criminal minds and grey’s anatomy.

view my kpop male reader blog, @ihrtchn

thank you all, and enjoy.

— [click to learn more about the author]

⚠︎ — CRIMINAL MINDS.

#1 — aaron hotchner

i. nothing here... yet.

#2 — derek morgan

i. nothing here... yet.

#3 — spencer reid

i. nothing here... yet.

#4 — luke alvez

i. nothing here... yet.

#5 — william lamontagne jr.

i. nothing here... yet.

☤— GREY’S ANATOMY.

#1 — derek shepherd

i. nothing here... yet.

#2 — alex karev

i. nothing here... yet.

#3 — george o’malley

i. nothing here... yet.

#4 — mark sloan

i. nothing here... yet.

#5 — owen hunt

i. nothing here... yet.

#6 — jackson avery

i. nothing here... yet.

#7 — andrew deluca

i. nothing here... yet.

☆ — ANIME.

- THE DISASTROUS LIFE OF SAIKI K. (斉木楠雄のΨ難)

i. nothing here... yet.

- JUJUTSU KAISEN. (呪術廻戦)

i. nothing here... yet.

- MONTHLY GIRLS’ NOZAKI-KUN. (月刊少女野崎くん)

i. nothing here... yet.

- DEMON SLAYER. (鬼滅の刃)

i. nothing here... yet.

last updated on 8/7/23.

[tragicxensemble]

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One More Chance (At Love) (Pt.1/?)

Slowburn Mark Sloan x Reader x George O'Malley

TW/CW: Mentions of medical terms and just overall Grey's anatomy gore, social anxiety/ anxiousness, Christina being passive-aggressive to the reader of you squint, Love triangle, jump cuts

Disclaimer/Summary:

‼️ SEASON 2 SPOILERS!! ‼️

AJ's a new intern at Seattle Grace Hospital and the niece of Miranda Bailey. She has an average reputation and never heard of 'McSteamy' a.k.a Mark Sloan upon moving to Seattle and working at Seattle Grace. Not understanding the hype around him nor falling for his charm, he ends up falling first and hard because he thinks she's "hard to get". He tries his best to flirt with her but to no avail, because she never picks up on any of those social cues to realize that he has been flirting with her the entire time because of her being neurodivergent (specifically AuDHD). Besides Mark, there's also someone else who has been eyeing AJ since they met.

Ps: This is mostly a self-insert but you can still read and enjoy this!! It's been a while since I've made a fic and I think it's time for a fresh start :). This takes place in mid-season 2 (specifically episode 9, a month before the Thanksgiving part of the episode starts then jumpcuts to the events of the Thanksgiving episode) to around the end of season 3. There are a lot of jump cuts in this fic and rhe reader is black

Wc: 3.4k

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@spexialvixtimxunit @verytalented

Seattle Grace Hospital. A hospital filled with opportunities and so much drama that it could be a full-course meal. That is, of course, if you're interested in having surgeries and nonstop sleepless nights on the menu. If so, then sign me up. Having the opportunity to work in the same hospital as my Aunt was a blessing and a curse. She knew that I was studying to become a surgeon, but what she didn't know was that I would be working in the same hospital as her. The other interns around me called her 'The Nazi' but I simply called her Auntie Mandy.

No one knew that she was my aunt so they had no room to treat me differently because of my association with her. I deserved to be in that surgical program just as much as they did. I worked my ass off to become a well-respected doctor, not a punching bag for bottomless insults. So, my strategy to survive the internship came in 3 easy rules. A guide that I follow every day.

1. Befriend the Nurses.

This step was relatively easy. I'm always kind to everyone I meet unless they give me a reason to be mean. Plus, I would hate to get stuck on doing rectal exams or sutures for hours on end just because I pissed a nurse off. They're human beings just like me and deserve equal respect because it took them years of med school to get to where they are.

2. Keep to myself and only speak when spoken to (a.k.a practically become invisible to almost everyone unless I'm given instructions to complete a task.)

Now, this step is a relatively difficult one to follow. I have no clue who I will encounter upon being on Auntie Mandy's service and they would make my experience at SG unpredictable. I won't let them get to know me upon surface-level things about me. It's too risky for them to find out even the smallest incriminating detail about me. I'll just have to wait for the right moment to tell anyone that Bailey is my Aunt.

And lastly, my most hated rule.

3. NEVER unmask, unless necessary.

Masking in itself is extremely difficult. If I show any sign of my neurodivergence to neurotypicals who don't understand what it's like to hide parts of yourself every day 24/7, I'm looking at weeks of being a laughing stock and judged by everyone. Even though this is a possibility, the road to being a surgeon is never easy for anyone.

So, with that being said you would say that I have 3 impossible rules to follow. I would have to try my absolute hardest to not expose myself but also to be on top of my game in this program if I want to make it in the real surgical world.

-------

My alarm rings at the ripe time of 5 am. I had to be at the hospital by 7:00 am before 7:30 am rounds started and before I could officially be assigned to my resident. I knew before today that I was going to be assigned to Auntie Mandy because of the letter in the mail a few weeks ago declaring my official internship and transfer to Seattle Grace. As well as what day I would start working. Transferring hospitals is like transferring schools, you have to start all over again in a new place. New environment. With completely new people. People who are already used to each other and probably friends with each other. Whereas I'm the new kid, the outcast. The kid that sits alone during lunch while everyone has already created their cliques.

I took a few deep breaths before getting out of bed to stop myself from becoming anxious at the thought of all the wrong outcomes that could happen. I made sure to pack comfort snacks the night before and an emergency meltdown/overstimulation bag that consisted of earplugs, a few small but effective fidget toys, compactable noise-canceling headphones, and an mp3 player that has my comfort songs on speed dial. I made my bed, as I usually do to start my morning. Following up on that, I meditated and did yoga for an hour and a half. It's a way to calm and ground myself before I tackle whatever the day brings me.

I did my morning routine and skin care before heading back to my room, to change into my outfit.

By this time it was already 6:40 am. I had enough time to spare to moisturize my locs and bring a scrunchie with me so that I could put my hair up when needed at work. I made sure to grab my messenger bag and my snacks for the long shift and promptly left my apartment at 6:50 am. The drive to work was roughly 15 minutes but ended up being 20 minutes with traffic. I didn't live far away from the hospital, which was alright in my opinion. I arrived there at 7:05 am and began to park. After I parked and got out of the car, a motorcyclist drove up loud and parked 2 spots away from me.

Right in the middle of my car and the motorcycle came another car with 2 women and a guy who I'd assume knew the female motorcyclist because the group of 4 joined each other and I began walking into the building behind them. Mid-walk, another guy joins the group after what I'd assume was his morning jog. He was huffing and saying something I couldn't make out because of me keeping my distance from them so that they wouldn't assume that I was following them even though I was. I had no freaking clue on where anything in this ginormous hospital was. Sure I had a tour of the hospital but it's so easy to forget the layout when I've only been in it once.

While we waited for the elevator I quietly said, "Excuse me," as I tapped the shoulder of a brown-haired guy with cute doe eyes. He stopped talking with the blonde-haired woman and turned to face me. "I'm sorry, but could you help direct me to the surgical locker room? I'm not entirely sure where it is." As I was speaking the rest of the group turned to look at me, which was not intimidating in any way. (Yes it was.) "Yeah sure, We're actually on our way there." says the doe-eyed guy. "I'm George O'Malley by the way, that's Izzie Stevens, Alex Karev, Meredith Grey, and Christina Yang. We're all surgical interns." George introduced the names to the faces of everyone and I hoped for the best that I could remember their names.

"Oh, I'm AJ. AJ Brown. I'm also an intern here. It's my first day." I spoke. "What! That's cool, we could show you around sometime!" Izzie said as the elevator dinged. I nodded and followed their lead and got on the elevator with them, standing near the back of it. I listened as they talked about how their mornings went. The elevator stopped at the second floor. After making a few turns into the corridors, we finally made it to the locker room.

"What's your locker number?" Meredith asked as she began to walk to her locker. "Uh, it's G - 23," I responded as I looked around at my surroundings. Everyone was already getting changed. "Oh, nice you have a locker next to me!" Izzie smiled. The digital clock on the wall read 7:15 am, there was enough time to change into my scrubs and have my pager and stethoscope ready. As I was putting my shoes on Meredith spoke to me, "So, AJ, where are you from?" She asked as she closed her locker door. "Oh, I'm from a small town in Illinois," I answered. "What's a city girl like you doing all the way here in rainy ol' Seattle? Besides to work here?" Alex chimed in, "Family, stuff." I spoke shortly, in hopes of ending the conversation.

"That's nice that you can be near family here. Also, who's service are you on?" Izzie asked. "I have Dr. Bailey," I spoke as I stood up while closing my locker. "Awesome, she has the Nazi too." Christina deadpanned as they all began to finish up. "Christina, be nice!" Meredith nudged Christina's arm and tried her best to whisper that to her but failed. "We can show you where she is today." The group leaves the locker room and I trail behind them to find my Aunt.

We head to the elevator and we make it to the third floor, where we come to a spacious waiting area and a front desk that I'd assume contained charts and other important patient information. Among the crowd of people walking around stood Auntie Mandy, writing in a chart binder at the front desk. "Good morning Dr. Bailey." They all said one by one, before George spoke, "I think we have a new intern with us that's on your service." That sparked her to look up from the chart. "New intern? What new intern?" She said almost with an attitude. They all miraculously parted like the Red Sea to reveal my presence to her.

"Well, I'll be damned! If it isn't AJ!" Bailey replied with a smile before running up to hug me, which shocked the group as if they had never seen her act sweet towards anyone. She released me from her grasp and said, "I had no idea they were assigning you to my service! How's your mom? I know everyone must miss me back there in Illinois." Bailey chirped. I hesitated and replied shortly, "Everyone's fine and they do." I laughed awkwardly. "Wait? How do you know Dr. Bailey and how does she know you?" Christina asked, answering the burning question that was floating around in everyone's head.

"She's-" Before Dr. Bailey could finish her sentence our pagers went off. Talk about being saved by the bell. Or beep in this case. I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding in as we all began to follow Bailey's orders on where to be assigned. George ended up being the one to be my guide for the day as I helped him with patients and got used to doing checkups and filling out charts for a few hours. After that, Bailey assigned George to teach me how to run labs and work on sutures in the pit, as well as prescribing actual medicine to the patients. Before I knew it, it was lunchtime.

"Hey, would you like to have lunch with me? I'm usually with everyone because we all eat together sometimes." George asked softly as we headed to the cafeteria I assumed. "Uh, sure." I agreed. I brought a simple lunch with me, a turkey sandwich, apple slices, and carrots. While George offered to buy me apple juice. As I began to sit down next to George, Christina let out a loud groan and said lowly to herself, "Why did George invite someone we barely know to lunch, it's like she's his pet or something." This time Merideth kicked Christina's leg under the table, which caused her to verbally say 'ow' in response.

Upon hearing that comment, before I could start eating I got up and excused myself by saying, "I think left my pager in my locker. I'm gonna go get it." I grabbed all of my things and left immediately, what did I expect from a bunch of strangers? I found an empty hallway with abandoned beds and I ate in silence.

George's POV

AJ grabbed her things and speed walked away. Christina scoffed and spoke, "Looks like she ran off to go find her mommy, Dr. Bailey," Everyone let out laughs at Christina's 'joke' if you even call it that. "Enough!" I yelled as I slammed my hands on the table, "She has been nothing but nice to you guys and this is how you treat her on her first day? People deserve chances and you guys never even gave her that option to one." I grabbed the rest of my lunch and stormed off in hopes of finding AJ, before hearing out what everyone was going to say to my brief speech.

AJ's POV

I was almost done eating my lunch when I heard a familiar voice say, "There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" It was George. What a relief. "You have?" I said as I finished the last of my apple slices before I threw away the remaining trash. "Look, I'm sorry that they were mean to you, they don't like new people coming into their space." George apologized before he sat somewhat next to me. "You don't have to apologize for them George, it's not your place to apologize for them." I feigned a smile to try to reassure him.

"Sometimes they make fun of me too. And I wonder if they're my friends or if I'm convincing myself that they are," George confessed. "Well, can you be yourself when you're around them?" I questioned. George didn't answer. "If you have to think about it for a long time then maybe you should reconsider if they are your friends. Real friends don't make fun of you for being you. They appreciate your uniqueness and don't judge you." I declared. "It seems like you're a friend expert." I laughed a little at his comment. "I've had a lot of friends but never kept any of them so I know what it's like." I spoke truthfully, "Thanks for the lunch, George." I thanked him before I walked away once again.

-----

By that evening, my hands and feet were tired from walking and constantly talking to all the people. I desperately needed time to recharge my social battery because I could feel myself starting to get overstimulated. The lights were starting to get too bright and the bustling noise could make anyone go insane. I had a few minutes to myself in the on-call room so I spent it playing with my Tangle fidget toy and listening to a playlist of my favorite Michael Jackson songs in the dark while lying down on one of the beds on the bottom bunk. Needless to say, I ended up falling asleep for a good hour before I faintly heard the door open.

"AJ, wake up, Dr. Bailey needed me to find you," George said as he tapped my shoulder in an attempt to wake me. I groaned before sitting up on my elbows and glaring at him for waking me up, "I'm sorry to wake you but she needs more hands in the pit." He confessed which caused me to roll my eyes. I nodded before shoving my MP3 player and fidget toy down in my lab coat pocket. I put my shoes back on while George watched and we both headed out to the pit together.

Only a few more hours to go.

------

My first 12-hour shift was finally over. The aching in my feet was beyond compare even though I had comfortable shoes on made for walking. I went back to the locker room to change and I found myself left with a few people and George changing near me. "Are you autistic? I mean, if you are that's okay with me. I won't tell the others if you don't want to tell them so that they don't make fun of you. I'm not saying that they will but they can be mean sometimes. Well, not Izzie. Wait no, Izzie can be mean sometimes but not in-" I just stared at him until he finished rambling.

"Sorry, that was rude. I didn't mean to assume or anything. It's just that I-" George began again before I stopped him. This must have been on his mind all day. "Yes, I'm autistic and I have Adhd as well. And I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone because I don't want any attention on me about it. People will treat me differently." I shrugged it off to George as I grabbed my bag. "Can I ask why?" George said as he sat down on the bench. "Why what?" I replied, not looking at him. "Why don't you want to tell anyone?" I let out a huff and closed the locker before I faced him.

"This is breaking my rules," I mumbled, "Rules? What do you mean?" There was confusion in his voice but I could hear that he wanted to understand. "Ever since I was a kid, I always knew that I was different. I never had a lot of friends growing up and I never was invited to birthday parties because of how people treated me for being different. I don't normally spill my life to people I just met but I feel like I can trust you. I've been judged about my diagnosis of AuDHD. There's no point in trying to be myself when I can be what people expect me to be."

"But doesn't that get tiring? Having to mask all the time?" He asked and I nodded quickly. "It's hard to get a break and for people to not stare at me when I stim and fidget," I said disappointingly, "But what do I expect?" I shrugged it off and began to make my way to the door. "It's hard being myself in a room full of people who don't get you, but thanks anyway for trying to understand George, have a good night."

And with that, I once again walked away. It's becoming a habit now.

------

(A month later, at the start of episode 9)

------

Izzie had invited me over to help cook and decorate the house for Thanksgiving. I wore a simple outfit, a black long sleeve with denim jeans and black Converse. My favorite brand of shoes.

When I arrived I was greeted by Izzie rushing to get me inside. "I need you to get George for me, he's upstairs and he's supposed to be helping me cook but he hasn't left his room yet," Izzie said frantically. "Oh, okay. Um. Where exactly is his room? I've never been here before." I said while taking off my leather jacket and Izzie hanging it up for me.

"It's up the stairs, down the hall, and to the right." I listened to her directions and I reached George's room. I gently knocked on the door and waited for a reply. "Come in!" George said from the other side. I carefully opened it and saw him fully clothed on his bed with his eyes shut. "Why are you just lying on your bed?" I spoke as I closed his door behind me. He quickly opened his eyes, not knowing it was me.

"AJ! I- when did you get here?" He hurried and sat up to look at me. "I got here just now, not too long ago. You know Izzie wants you downstairs to help right?" I sat down on the end of his bed before he plopped back down with a huff. "I know but I'm afraid to go out there." I quirked a brow, "Afraid? Why would you be afraid?" As I said that he held his hands up and began counting down from 10. A thunderous noise arose from downstairs, and just when he reached zero, 3 men barged into his and screamed, "O'Malley!!"

Startled by the sudden noise, I looked at George for an answer. "Because of that." George huffed again. "Georgie, since when did you have a girlfriend? And she's hot too." I was taken aback at the man's comment. "C'mon, you know Georgie never gets laid," George rolled his eyes before getting up, trying to hide his embarrassment from me. "Please ignore my idiotic brothers," He began to go to his closet and grab camo wear. "Where are you going? Aren't you going to help Izzie?" There was desperation in those chocolate-brown eyes of his, and just when he was about to explain himself the older man chimed in and said, "Our Georgie is gonna kill his first turkey this year, I can feel it!"

"Dad you know Georgie isn't gonna kill a turkey, he never does." His eldest brother spoke, "No, he's gonna chicken out like how he usually does-" "Shut up!" George says while his brothers laugh, his face turning as red as a tomato now. "I'll be back as soon as I can to help. I promise I won't miss dinner." George tells me as he puts on his beanie and I thought he couldn't look any cuter. "Well, you better tell Izzie that," I scoffed as his family began to drag him out of the room chanting 'O'Malley' over and over again until they were down the stairs and out of the door.

"I don't think they're coming back any time soon." Izzie whined, "I hope he doesn't actually kill a bird."

---

[babyjackdaniels]

[bonobochick]

Lucas breaks up with Simone. 🥺

Grey's Anatomy ep 20x02

[bishopsbambina]

(I was begging you) please don’t go

Mistakes define a person only if you let them define you. Addison wasn’t going to let those slips make her who she is.

And if that coincidentally included running away from a woman that broke her heart - so be it.

OR: Addison was going to run away from LA, but Meredith decided to grab her one last chance and make it right. Set in Season 3 finale.

Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery. T. 1/1. 2.7k.

read fic on ao3

[corynation]

Rumor has it

mark sloan x reader

tags: angst, thats about it tbh, im sorry in advanced

She, she ain't real / She ain't gon' be able to love you like I will

You’ve observed her closely, bouncy walk, the smile thats brighter than the sun when it rises. You’ve memorized the notes of her perfume, studied the way her hair is always perfectly done, never out of place. Noticed how perfect she is, in every way possible. Of course he’d fall for her. Hell you’d began to think you were falling for her too. She was young and beautiful, smart and outgoing, innocent and naive. Everything you weren’t.

Nothing had been the same between you and Mark since Lexie Grey had come to Seattle Grace. At first you loved Lexie, admired her. You had been on the same service as her on multiple occasions, and each time she outshined everyone around her. She was diligent and ambitious, the perfect example of what a surgeon should be.

She is a stranger / You and I have history / Or don't you remember

You and Mark had been dating for a few years now, ever since he first came to Seattle Grace. Your relationship had been near to perfect. There wasn’t a time where the romance between you two felt off, from Sunday night dinner dates where you’d cook together, to finishing late night lab work at the hospital together. He was everything you dreamed of in a man, and you only hoped he felt the same about you.

Lately there had been less late night lab work together. Instead you’d get a call from Mark, him apologizing for the workload and telling you not to wait up for him at home. Sunday night dinners still happened. In fact it was one of the few things you held onto to believe in the fact that Mark was still in love with you. That you were the one he wanted for the rest of his life. You were the girl he’d be doing Sunday night dinners with until his last Sunday on earth.

There was this look to Mark, one that you could never mistake for anything but complete adorn. It wasn’t the Mark Sloan look he was known for, the one where his smile would crook and his eyes would gleam with mischief. This one made a softer man of him. His eyes would soften, his mouth would part just a smidge as his lips curled into the perfect gentle smile. That was the look he gave to you every time he saw you walk into a room. You’d recognize it from anywhere. It became your favorite part about Mark because it was owned by you. You were the only one who got that look from Mark.

That is until the day Lexie was paged into you and Marks surgery. The second the doors burst open and a smiley Lexie appeared you saw the tense of Mark dissolve, his eyes soften and glow, and you just knew that under his mask your favorite gentle smile had appeared.

That day you had to step out of your surgery to puke.

She is half your age / But I'm guessing that's the reason that you stayed

“I don’t know Callie it’s just the way he looks at her. Every time I see him look at her I physically feel ill.”

“You don’t think he’s cheating on you with her do you?”

“No, not at all. I know he wouldn’t do that. But I know he doesn’t know how to stop his feelings either, and I just-“ You groaned as your palms met your forehead. “I can feel him slipping away from me you know? Like he’s there with me physically, but emotionally he’s with her. And I get it, she’s shiny and new and I’m just,”

“Y/n no,” Callie began, her fingers wrapping around your wrist in an attempt to grab your attention.

“I’m just dull to him.” You turned to look at your best friend, her face riddled of pity. It was near the same look she gave families when there was nothing more she could do for a patient. As much as you wished there was a way to somehow extract all feelings Mark had towards Lexie and inject them into someone like Alex, there would never be enough shooting stars or candles to grant that. “I can feel the love fall from him Callie. Like there is this string connecting us and someone is slowly sawing at it with a god damn scalpel.”

“Ironic you say scalpel because-“ Callie started before you shot her a look that shut her right up. “yep too soon sorry.”

“What do I do here Callie? How do I keep going to bed at night with him knowing he’s in love with someone else?” The familiar burn of tears began as you wiped your face not prepared to embrace a whole breakdown this early in the morning. As upset about the situation as you were, you were not going to start crying over it in the middle of the hospital that you work at, let alone the hospital both Mark and Lexie work at.

“You need to talk to him y/n. It’ll ease your mind I promise.”

“Oh says the one who stayed with her husband when she knew he cheated.”

Callie snorted at your remark, starting a break out of laughter between the two of you. It felt nice to laugh during all of this. Made you feel lighter.

“Y/L/N!”

I heard you've been missing me / You've been telling people things you shouldn't be

Your eyes met Dereks. He was practically running to the nurses station where you had been sat with Callie. The two of you shared a glance, hinting to Callie it was best if she went on with her day. She smiled knowingly, patting your shoulder as a farewell and went off past Derek. By his furrow of a brow as Callie passed him you knew she’d given him a warning look, you giggled to yourself. If there was one thing about Callie you appreciated the most, it was her protective nature towards those she loved.

“I need to talk to you.” Derek grabbed your arm, leading you to an on call room. Your quick moment of glee dissolving in an instant.

“What is this about Derek?”

“Mark.”

And suddenly you felt heavy again.

The sound of the door to the on call room closing ran through your ear. Drowning out any other noise. Your throat felt tight and your stomach empty. You definitely had to puke, or faint? Maybe both. Something. You had to do something to get out of this conversation.

“What’s going on between you two?” Derek questioned, his hands placed on his hips.

You were silent at first, your body still in fight or flight mode, though unfortunately for you that happened to also be shut down mode. Not much fighting or flighting.

“I’m sorry?” Was the only thing you’d managed to choke out without spilling your guts to the best friend of the man you’d been worrying about.

Derek sighed rubbing his forehead. “Mark thinks you’re cheating on him.”

“He thinks I am cheating on him.” You scoffed, in total disbelief at the stupidity of that man.

“I told him he was stupid for thinking that.”

“Damn right he is. What else did he say?” At first you were just angry, as you should be, but now you had just been curious. How could you possibly be the one cheating when you were the one trying to keep the relationship stable?

“I really don’t think this is a conversation for us, you should speak with Mark.”

“Derek tell me. Now.”

He bit his lip, trying to decide which choice would be the best. “Fine,” he began, his hand pointing towards you, “but you better talk with Mark after. You two can’t keep ignoring each-other and your issues.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever I will.”

“He said you’ve been distant with him. Short with words, not wanting to be around him. Apparently you’ve left his service before because you had long surgeries with him?”

“Oh I’ve been distant. Thats rich.” Despite your efforts to hold it in, you started giggling over the words that came from Derek. Laughing to the point of tears you made your way over to the door, stopping before opening it. “Thank you for telling me Derek. You might want to keep your phone on silent later, Mark is probably going to bug the hell out of you.” And with that you left to go find the reoccurring talk of the hour.

Like when we creep out and she ain't around / Haven't you heard the rumors / Bless your soul, you got your head in the clouds / You made a fool out of me / And, boy, you're bringing me down

“Mark!” You yelled, finally catching the man you had searched practically the whole hospital for. He stopped almost instantly, turning around and flashing you that look he used to.

“You’ve been ignoring me.” He smiled even saying that, his eyes were still soft and he grasped your shoulders with such care and love.

It almost made you mad how he greeted you. The whole action gave the same feeling it used to before you had ever even began to question his integrity.

“I know I’m sorry.” You smiled back at him, no matter what was going on in your mind you couldn’t help but embrace what love he had for you, what love you had for him. It was warm, familiar. Almost made you question yourself on if you had been going crazy this whole time. “Do you mind if we speak for a minute?”

“Yeah, I’ve got all the time for you.” There it was again. Mark being Mark. So charming and sweet, the man you fell in love with.

You led him to a nearby on call room, Mark instantly sitting against the desk as you shut the door.

“So, what is all this about?” The cheeky grin that spread across his face was almost enough to pull you into him. You knew what he thought, and to be quite honest the feelings you had bubbling in you weren’t beside that thought. But still there was a part of you that still knew you couldn’t give in. If anything happened between you and Mark in this moment you would never talk it out with him. Somehow this whole span of events with him today was almost enough to convince you he was only in love with you. And maybe he was, maybe you truly were just crazy and jealous of this poor girl. Though, the longing looks they’d exchange one another, and the hands that would stay by each other for unnecessarily long amounts of time told a different story.

“I just need to talk to you.” He pulled you into his arms the moment he was able to reach you, a small gasp escaping your lips at the suddenness.

“I think talking can wait a minute.” His words were whispered as he leaned into you, lips meeting yours. It was warm and comforting, your muscles relaxing at almost an instant. You were back into the harmony you knew so well, the one you’d been craving to feel for weeks now. Even if you had tried to pull away there was no chance you wouldn’t initiate a second kiss. The feeling that rushed through you was too addicting to want to back away. That was Marks Sloans specialty.

You both stayed like that for what felt like a life’s eternity in the best way imaginable. Really you wanted to stay like that forever. Safe and loved in his arms, the only one he was focused on.

Mark began to slowly back away, a soft smile stretching across his face. “That, was definitely worth waiting for.”

Simply nodding and smiling as a reply to him, you closed your eyes again, fully taking in the euphoria before the gates around your world would fall.

“Mark,” You began, taking a small step back from his embrace. If you wanted to get any of the conversation you had been planning in your head for days -figuring out every word you’d say, even practicing in the mirror a few times- out to him you were gonna have to ruin the moment. Rip off the bandaid.

“Y/n whats on your mind?” He was so sweet. So patient.

“You’re in love with her.” And there it was. Ripping off the bandaid. And god did the bandaid sting like nothing before. Watching his face fall felt like the world was slowly swallowing you, pulling you into the core. All oxygen leaving your body as you were pulled further, and further.

“Her?” His brows furrowed, eyes scanning your face for something, maybe a sign of who it was, maybe a sign that this was all a joke. To be honest you really couldn’t read his expression. It had been so blank yet so sorrowful, remorse and confusion settling together into one.

“Lexie.” And that was all you had to say before all confusion left him. It was as if you had flipped a light switch within him, Mark finally catching onto what was happening. “I’ve noticed Mark, I’ve noticed everything. You staying at the hospital late nights when she was on call, the lingering hands of you both. I’ve seen the way you look at her. It’s the same you used to look at me. You’ve favored her in surgeries, hell, you’ve favored her in meetings.”

“Y/n..”

“No Mark, listen to me. Maybe you haven’t realized this all yet, maybe you were oblivious to what was going on, but I wasn’t. God I wish I was Mark. I’ve spent so much of my life this past few weeks just thinking about you two, thinking about us. I haven’t stopped thinking about it all since I’ve first noticed you took an interest in her.” Hot tears started to trickle out your eyes, all emotions finally pouring. “I’ve torn myself to shreds over this. Thinking about what I could do to get you to notice me more, or even just less of her. Thinking of what I could do to get you to love me and only me again. Ive thought so low of myself these past weeks I could barely function as a surgeon. I’ve made myself a mess trying to fix yours.”

Mark studied you intently, trying his best to comprehend everything that was going on. He stood up coming back near you. His hands found your cheeks as he held you gentle as ever, cradling you like the most precious piece of gold known to man. “I’m in love with you y/n.”

“I know you are, I know Mark.” You sniffled, one of your hands matching his movement cradling his cheek. You tried to give him the best smile you could forcing every muscle in your face to follow suit, even if it was the last thing you wanted to show. “But you’re in love with her more.”

His face was one you’ve never seen before. Whether it was realization or just heartbreak, it tore you to shreds seeing him like that. But it tore you more to shreds being with him after everything, and you were down to your last bit of stability.

With a kiss to his cheek and a squeeze to the hand that was still on your cheek, you smiled at him once more, slowly backing away from him. “I love you Mark. I always will. But I can’t stand to see you love her too, and I don’t know if I’d ever forgive myself for staying with you any longer knowing you’re in love with someone else. You go get her, I’ll be okay. And you’ll be okay when she says yes to your first date. We’ll both be okay.” There was tears rolling down both of your cheeks. The room so thick of emotions it started to overwhelm you. Suffocate you further into heartache. You placed one last kiss to Marks lips, you both falling into it deeper than ever.

You slowly backed out of the kiss, wanting to let that be your last memory of you two. It was the rainbow after the storm, the calm after the chaos. With that as your farewell to the man you loved more than life itself, you walked out the room, closing the door behind you, feeling as if you had left your whole being in that room. Like a piece of your soul would forever be gone. Stuck inside that room with the piece of him that had broke.

Those two pieces though, would stay together. Pieced in harmony, placed in only the memories of you two. Something more than you could ever ask for.

Hiiiii :DDD im so sorry this is my comeback lol. Anyway i know this isnt the best, i have not written for a year, and this is also my first reader insert pov ive made so be nice pls🙏🏻

hope you enjoyed (or like arent super sad) <33

also my grammar SUCKS and grammer is so hard so do not even think about how many commas i used wrong okay? okay

[0blobthefish0]

One last time

amelia shepherd masterlist | main masterlist

Amelia Shepherd x Female Reader 1,105 words

References to drugs and addiction

Amelia's leaving and you beg her to let you help her one last time.

Part 2

Your throat feels sore and your voice scratchy from the constant screaming, tears streaming down your face as you struggle to form words to counter Amelia's shouts. You can feel the hostility radiating off of her from the other side of the room, and you're tired. You wince as she slams and bangs the draws and the doors and the cupboards, too defeated to do anything about it; it was dark now and your mind drifted off to your poor neighbours, hours and hours of endless screaming and fighting. 

Your heart panged in your chest as you watched the girl you fell in love with look at you with rage, wild blue eyes not so bright anymore. You hadn't seen her in a few weeks and now she was back; rummaging for cash and obviously using again. You had caught her and now she was angry and you were begging, begging for her not to leave again, but she wouldn't listen. She didn't want your help, she didn't need your pitiful looks, and she most definitely did not want to be saved. 

The last draw rattled shut and the two of you fell in a silence. Her jaw was clenched and her chest heaved with her angry breathing and your throat stung as you swallowed your fight. You let out a deep breath and shut your eyes, soothing them from the bright kitchen light. She was going to leave with or without a fight, and you were too tired. Your eyes opened up to see her watching intently for your next move.

"Amelia," you began and you saw her shake her head and move away, already beginning to defend herself. "No, no, just listen to me!" You begged with your sore voice. "I just- please, have a shower or a bath and grab some clean clothes before you leave," you sighed and rested your head against the door frame. 

You heard her scoff and you shook your head, "Let me help, just one last time, and I won't bother you ever again," you sighed, "I promise." You watched her eyes dart back and forth with your hazy vision before she stormed passed you and into the bathroom with a slam. You slid down the wall and listened for the tap to start running before letting your tears fall freely. 

It had been ten minutes since the tap had stopped running and you had long since calmed down, but you picked at your lip nervously; you couldn't hear anything from the bathroom. No clanging, no splash of water, nothing. Carefully, you stood from your tiled kitchen floor and tiptoed your way to the bathroom door. You listened intently for any noise before knocking your knuckles against the door lightly.

"Amelia?" You called out earning you no reply and you felt your heart pitter against your ribs. "Amelia, I'm coming in," you warned her before pushing open the door. Warm steam blew in your face and your eyes searched for her through the misty air. You found her standing idly, opposite the full bath, staring blankly  and you quickly moved to open the window. You moved to stand opposite her and her blue eyes moved to stare at your face, wide with furrowed brows and your heart twinged with pain. She didn't deserve this; she had already gone through too much to deserve this.

"Would you like some help?" You asked as you searched her eyes. "You can just move your head, yes or no?" She didn't move and you nodded your head before checking the temperature of the water. You dried your hand on a rag as you walked back to her.

"I'm going to help you now, okay?" You told her and lifted the bottom of her shirt up her torso and she lifted her arms up and the shirt came up over her head before pooling on the floor. Your eyes searched hers again as you unbuttoned her jeans and you saw her throat bob as she nodded her head, so lightly you could have missed it. You unzipped them and crouched before shimmying them down her legs and helping her step out of them. You stood back up and quickly unclipped her bra and dropped it to the floor. You guided her to the bath and held her hand as she stepped into it, one leg after the other, before she sat down in the hot water.

You pushed up your sleeves and dunked a rag into the water before running it over her skin: her arms, her back, her neck, her face. You carefully washed her face, smoothing the cloth over her features, her lashes resting against her cheek and you watched her, until her dark lashes lifted to reveal the brilliant blue of her eyes and you moved away to pump soap into your hands. You held a hand out to her and lifted her to stand. You poured some of the soap from your hand into her own before rubbing it into her back, sudsing her skin with foamy bubbles, and then sat her back down and washed her skin clean.

You grabbed a jug from the side and filled it with the bath water and lightly pushed her head back slightly before resting your hand on her forehead before running the water through her dark hair. You lathered your hand with shampoo and massaged it into her scalp and poured water through her hair until it ran clean and then did the same with conditioner. Without your knowledge, silent tears streamed down Amelia's face as you delicately combed through her knotty hair with a brush. 

You poured water over her hair once again, protecting her face with your hand on her forehead, and then left to grab a towel. Amelia hugged her knees to her chest as she watched the door and shivered as she felt a gust of wind come through the open window, the water was only lukewarm by now and she was starting to feel the cold prickle of the late night air. When you came back, you wrung her washed hair and helped her out of the tub before wrapping her with the warm, fluffy towel.

"There's clean clothes on our- my bed and you know where the hairdryer is, if you need it," you mumbled and nodded your head before leaving to tidy the kitchen from your screaming match. 

After a few minutes, you heard the steady whir of the hairdryer turn on and then off before you watched Amelia leave through the front door. Most likely to never be seen by you again.

[remarkingonit]

“Did you say it? ‘I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life.’ Did you say it?” x

[sues-quotes]

Manchmal ist es gut Angst zu haben. Es bedeutet, du hast noch etwas, was du verlieren kannst.

- irgendwo gelesen

[leahseclipse]

Marry me (Emily Prentiss x fem!Reader)

Warnings: talks of hospital, car crash, blood and wound mentions (no major character death)

Summary: A car crash turns everything into a nightmare. (Based off episode 18 and 19 of S7 of grey's anatomy)

A/N: It's a bit of a random post, but I remembered I had wrote that fic for @imagining-in-the-margins 's wedding challenge, so why not post it! It's really a no beta we die like men in here, so there might be some mistakes. This was based off @fortheloveofwonderland 's prompt 🤗

Word count: 3.7k

As soon as the occasion presented itself, Emily and Y/N did not hesitate a single second to spend the weekend together, far from their home. Windows rolled down, their hands glued together as Emily had the other on the steering wheel, they couldn’t stop freaking out about the simple concept of ‘vacation’.

“How did this even happen? You never get days off. I can’t believe your phone hasn’t started ringing. This is insane.” Y/N moved her right arm around as she spoke.

“Right? I can’t believe it either. It’s been… months.” Emily said.

“We finally have a weekend to ourselves.”

“Just us and the little one.” she said, briefly looking at her when the road was empty. "Let’s enjoy the final weeks before she never lets us rest again.”

“You said it,” she sighed. “We’re going to fuel ourselves with coffee.”

Emily doesn’t answer to that, eyes on the road.

“Is something wrong, Em?”

She blinked, “No, I just… spaced out for a second. Sorry.”

“Oh, okay. That happens. Did you…” Y/N started to say, but the buzz of her phone stopped her. “Oh… He found out.”

“What?”

“Reid. About the… prank we did on him, that’s not going to be good when we come-” she rambled, before Emily yanked her phone out of her grasp; throwing it somewhere behind. Probably in the back seats, not that it matters. Emily wanted this phone away. “What was that?”

“Can you just… this time is for us. You see him all the time, so do I, but he's not here now! It’s just us.”

“Come on, he was just texting. I wasn’t going to stay on my phone all day.” she argued, “I gotta text back at least.” then unbuckles her seatbelt to turn around.

“What are you doing?” Emily yelled.

With her phone in her hand, she yelled back, “I’m answering the text! Calm down, he’s not getting more time than you with me.”

“You make me sound like I’m acting jealous, or something.”

“Are you?” Y/N asked, eyes on her phone.

“It’s kind of difficult not to be when you talk about Spencer so often.”

“He’s my best friend, am I not allowed?” she asked, defensively. Taking a breath, she looked away from her phone. “I am giving all my time to our couple, you, and the human growing inside of me, so I am allowed to do other things, like talk to my friend, just for a minute.” Then she stopped talking. Went back to her phone, and the car was as silent as ever.

It’s never been that silent.

They’ve never been so pissed off at each other, they’ve swore to stop when they had to, calm down and apologize.

There wasn’t any apology.

Just the light sound of y/n’s fingertips hitting the screen. That was pretty much it.

“Marry me.”

That earned a chuckle from her girlfriend.

“I’m serious. Marry me.” Emily said, her voice sounding more serious, which led to Y/N turning to look at her, absolutely stunned. “I want… more.” She looked at her, “I love you more than anything, and what we have is perfect but I want more. I want the commitment, the rings, the married life— everything. With you. So…” she paused. “Marry me.”

Emily kept her eyes set on her, and y/n couldn’t either. Even if she was mad. Even if she didn’t know what to say.

But, something was in the back of her head. When she turned around, she didn’t have time to react.

Neither did Emily, before there was a crash and then everything went black.

++

The first thing Emily registered as her eyes opened was the texture of the airbag against her face. It was stained with blood— her blood. But she didn’t focus long about it, she couldn’t see y/n. She was nowhere near the seat.

As her eyes looked up, she saw her on the hood of the car.

She had gone through the windshield.

“Y/N!” Emily yelled, rushing to get her seatbelt off her as she rushed out of the car towards the front. The front of the car had been completely crushed by the impact when they hit the truck in front of them.

Y/N was on the front of the car, her breathing ragged and fast. She was covered in blood. Things didn’t look so good for her.

She remembered seeing the car. It got closer.

Then it crashed against theirs.

Emily was instantly out of her mind. She yelled at the driver to call for help, then proceeded called for help herself on her phone. “We need someone, right now! There was a crash and-and my girlfriend went through the windshield! You have to come right now!”

This definitely wasn’t what she had in mind for the perfect vacation.

There wouldn't even be any vacation to go on anymore.

++

Emily doesn’t remember what happened before she got off the ambulance, or she just doesn’t want to. She’s probably in shock, she doesn’t know. She thinks she dialed Spencer’s number or sent a message, somewhere through the ride.

She hated him a minute ago, but someone else had to know. No matter what, she can't forget he's the father of their child.

He probably called someone else, her guess would be Derek, or Hotch— or hell, everyone. He probably did, they're part of the family. Of course they'd come.

That is if they’re not already on a case. Not everyone would be able to leave. Just him. She guessed.

Y/N was out of sight as soon as Emily entered. She wasn’t allowed further in the room, simply left to stay outside. She was completely panicked.

Knowing the doctors there didn't help. There were all blurry faces. Just people moving around.

Was it all her fault?

She was the one driving. She didn’t look at the road.

Why would it be empty? It’s not a private road.

She swore it wasn’t there.

Was it?

Emily could register the dried blood on her forehead, the wound was still exposed, she didn’t even let anyone touch it when they saw it. She was too worried about her girlfriend.

If she hadn’t thrown the phone out of her hands she would’ve kept her seatbelt on. Maybe then her injuries wouldn’t have been so bad. Maybe the baby wouldn’t be in danger either.

She couldn’t stop blaming herself for that.

She asked Y/N to marry her, and this truck came out and they crashed right into it.

They didn’t even get to spend a full day together, not one without injuries or worries or yelling or whatever came with Emily’s job. She didn’t think Y/N would ever be the injured one. She never intended to.

It pained Emily to see the state she was in compared to what she had.

All of this because of a stupid phone, and because she had to ask her in marriage in the middle of the road.

She was the one driving.

“Fuck.” Emily said, running her hands in her hair. Next thing she knows, Spencer is walking in, yelling her name.

He’s running towards her, panicked. “What the hell happened Emily? Is she... oh god.”

Y/N was being rushed out of the room.

She seemed worse. Way worse. She had gotten intubated. Fuck, Emily hated herself so much for that phone. Spencer was just there, out of his mind and she didn’t know what to say.

None of them had time to even say a word before she was wheeled out of the room by at least ten doctors, and she was gone again, rushed in an elevator. She was just gone again.

“I asked her to marry me and a truck came out of nowhere.” Emily said, eyes still glued to the elevator’s doors.

“How did she… how did this even happen?” Spencer asked.

“She took her seatbelt off. And she went through the windshield… when we hit that truck.”

“Why on earth did she take it off in the first place?”

“To text you! ” she yelled, facing him. “I got mad because she was talking to you again, and I chucked her phone out of her hands! That’s what happened! I was sick of hearing about you !”

And then the silence fell. They looked at each other, and then she was crying, kneeling down to the floor as her face fell to her hands.

She hated this day.

++

The clock struck midnight, and they still remained sitting in that waiting room. Emily knew it by heart now. The number of seats, the posters on the wall— blood donation, STDs testing, retirement houses, or that damn smiling family on the insurance one. They don’t know how much she wanted to rip their faces out when she could lose what they had on that stupid photo, then there was the same nurse that’s been ‘gossiping’ about her colleague that dated the whole service (as if it were any of her damn business) and she just wished chucking staplers at people’s faces would be legal.

She almost did it, when that nurse was stitching up her face. She wasn’t the nicest one.

To resume, Emily was in a bad mood.

She couldn’t bear hearing or seeing anything.

Not when Y/N’s life was at risk, and when she had the person that caused a part of this in front of her. Technically, it wasn’t Spencer, she was the one that caused her girlfriend to take off her seatbelt, but she did it because she had to text him.

So it’s a quarter (or something) his fault, at least. Maybe.

They haven't talked since her breakdown in the corridor. She just got up and sat and looked away. Looking back at it, it looked like two children after an argument. She felt stupid. Really stupid.

This could have been avoided.

If it wasn’t for these doctors she recognized coming in to see them to lead them to the room where Y/N was, she would’ve fallen asleep. This day had been too exhausting.

"Is there anything new?"

“She's stable for now. We stopped the surgery right now. We were afraid of further damage, so we have to see and wait if she makes it through the next 24 hours to go in again." Derek explained.

"The baby is also doing fine. We'll have to watch her as well." Addison said, before realizing he might have said something he shouldn't have. "Did you not know the…"

"We knew, we knew. It's okay." Emily dismissed.

“Is her state putting any risks on the baby, or the opposite?” Spencer questioned.

“There could be risks, eventually.” she answered.

“Would it be best for the baby to be taken out, then?” Spencer asked.

Addison sighed, “Well, we would need to know…”

“What we want to do.” Spencer interrupted.

"What about her, Spencer? What about what she would want us to do?"

“Why are we even talking about the baby?” Spencer asked, with an aggressive tone.

And then there was silence. Emily turned around, in disbelief.

“Are you being serious?”

“We just need to focus on giving her the best shot she can get.”

“Y/N wants her child !”

“Y/N wants to live.” Spencer insisted on the last word.

“We all want to! But what is it going to be like when she wakes up and her child is gone, Spencer?” Emily snapped.

“And what’s her life going to be like if she’s dead? We can just have another child, but we can’t have another Y/N!”

“Just say you want to fuck her again.” Emily wanted him to admit it, so bad.

“You’re still not over it, aren’t you? It’s not even a big deal. We just had sex a while ago and that’s it.” Spencer defended himself.

“It is a big deal.” Emily said, trying to make him understand.

“It’s not ! That or that kid isn’t! We can just have another one!"

“I can't believe you.”

“You can say what you want, but this is my family. I’m the father, Emily.”

“Do you want a medal for that? You’re not the only man in the world that can make children, in case you didn’t know about it."

“Okay, but in that case, I’m still the one she’s pregnant with. I am the father, you’re nothing!”

“You don’t even care about that baby! You didn’t care at all two minutes ago! That baby is way too young to be born! I don’t know all the risks and all that you know, but I know 23 weeks is not the time.”

“You think I don’t know? I know the risks!”

“Do you ? Because you haven’t been acting like you do.”

“I’m thinking about Y/N! Do you think I don’t care about it too, I’m the father!”

“Yeah, sure.”

“You never even wanted that baby in the first place, Emily. You never asked for it, so why do you think you have an opinion on it now?”

“You know what I didn’t ask for? You. You’re nothing, nothing. You’re basically just a sperm donor. This isn’t your relationship, not anymore, so…”

“I’m going to stop you right there. You don’t get to say anything again, this is my family. I am going to say that again, because apparently, you didn’t register it. I am the father, I am. You’re nothing. Just a bystander. You hear me? You're nothing.”

And that was it. Emily stood there, Spencer stood there, the doctors too and nothing else was said.

There was just this wall between them now.

++

After thirty minutes, or so spent in Y/N’s room, crying, looking at her, a bit of crying again, some praying (even if Emily wasn’t even into religion), she decided to step out for a bit to get a coffee, or whatever was available because most of the time, coffee machines at hospital are always broken, it’s a fact.

But if she had to pick a thing she liked in hospitals it would be the coffee, even if it can be bad because nothing compared to the rest. The injuries, being in the hospital or having someone you know hospitalized is the worst.

She doesn’t even know what to do.

She keeps wondering what she’s going to do if her girlfriend doesn’t make it. It’s probably bad to think about the worst already- when she could make it, but she can’t help but think about the other outcome. The worst one.

They haven’t even been together for that long, just about three years. That’s not enough. She needs more time.

Time that could be cut short because she was jealous of a guy she dated ages ago. Just because of that.

Emily can’t even imagine a life without her, she’s truly the first partner she’s been happy with. No one has treated her like Y/N does. She just made her feel special, all the time. Made sure Emily knew she was loved, was happy, she cared about Emily first, no matter what.

No one will ever replace Y/N, she’s sure of it. No one will be as perfect as her.

So, she needs her. She needs her to survive.

Walking through the corridors to the ICU again, she just hoped nothing happened while she was gone. Anything can happen in just a minute, she knows it.

When the room comes back into view, she can see Derek sliding the door shut, talking to Spencer as soon as he turns back to him.

“...soon to tell anything.” the man said. Emily managed to catch enough of the sentence to understand what was going on.

“She didn’t respond at all?” Spencer asked. Emily could hear the panic in his voice, along with the tugging on his fingers to probably calm his nerves.

“All she did was open her eyes. We tried making her follow commands but… nothing.” He responded. “Like I said, it’s just too soon to tell.” he ended, leaving with a polite nod after a short glance to the both of us.

“No good news for now. Great.” Emily said after the short silence that followed after the doctor’s departure. She shot a look at Reid, before sliding the room’s door open, shutting it after her.

He must have gone in when Emily was gone, so she assumed it was fine for her to walk in.

She sat by the chair, sighing at her girlfriend, still on that bed, the only thing moving being her chest, aside from all these machines around her. Beeping. Beeping. Beeping.

She wishes Y/N was moving something else, that she could be awake and talking.

It’s a few minutes before Emily stopped just staring and started talking, “Maybe he’s kind of right you know. He… might be, because legally I’m literally no one, I’m not related in any way to the child. But also, strangely, for some reason…” she paused. “I feel like I am related. Like I’m the baby’s mother. Truly.” she said, her voice faltering. “Can you…live? Can you do that, for us? We all love you in the team and I probably wouldn’t be the only one to miss you.”

She lowered her head, trying to fight the tears from coming. She cried enough today.

As she was about to leave, the machines suddenly started beeping like crazy. It was a matter of time before Spencer and two doctors rushed into the room.

“What happened?” Spencer asked.

“Her pressure is bottoming out.” the first doctor said. She didn't know him.

“Belly’s tight as a drum.” the other joined in. “It’s a flash pulmonary edema, her lungs are full of fluid right now. She has abdominal compartment syndrome as well.” She didn't know her either.

“She’s bleeding out, alert an OR that we’re on our way.” one of the doctors walking in ordered. They started unplugging things there and there, grabbing all the monitors, and even more people barged in. It was overwhelming.

Emily lived their arrival once again, Y/N being wheeled out, out of sight, and she was left there. Not knowing what might happen for hours. She was left in front of the door sign that read “Authorized personnel only”, watching all the crowd of doctors disappear in the corridor.

She felt helpless. Empty. She wasn’t Emily anymore, just a body standing there, paralyzed by fear.

When she felt herself being moved, she was surprised to see that Spencer was the one next to her. He probably hated her.

“Come on, let’s go sit down. You can’t keep standing there.” he said, reassuringly. “Can you hear me, Emily?” he asked when she didn’t answer.

“I…” she paused. “I can.” speaking with a weak voice, before following his lead. She didn’t walk away from his grip around her shoulders while they walked back to the waiting room, even with how much she hated him for what he had said. She would’ve probably fell down if he wasn’t there.

Spencer was the first to make another sound when they sat down, sighing deeply as he ran both of his hands from his face to his hair, keeping them at the top of his head.

“Shouldn’t we say a prayer, or something? She’s the kind of person to do that, when there’s something… bad.” Emily said, looking at her hands.

“I’ve been doing it since I came here.” Spencer harshly answered, and Emily didn’t even say anything about his tone, because she understood why. She was pissed too, even if she didn’t show it in her previous sentences.

Emily let out a sigh again, letting the silence drown the unsaid words.

++

When Emily was suddenly woken up to Spencer shaking her so she’d wake up, panic immediately rushed in.

“Did something happen? Is she…”

Spencer tightened his grip on her shoulders, “Hey, she’s fine… they’re fine.”

“What do you mean…they?” Emily asked.

“They had to get the baby out. Both her and Y/N are fine.”

Emily immediately felt tears in her eyes. “Are you serious? They’re okay?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you about that, Emily.”

“Can we…” she said, getting up from the chair. “can we see them?”

“Of course.”

++

“Emily?”

“Yeah, Spence?” she answered, somehow surprised at the use of the nickname. It felt weird after their numerous arguments, and after all the silence when they stared at their daughter, and walked back in front of the room.

“You’re not nothing.” he said, as Emily turned her head to meet his eyes. “We had this kid together. Up to this day, we took care of it, you and me. You acted like a mother and I…acted like a dad, as best as I could. I’m sorry for what I said.”

“It’s… we were both frustrated.” Emily said. “She’s going to wake up, don’t worry. She’s made it this far.”

Spencer opened his mouth as if he was going to speak, but nothing came out, until a few seconds later. “Do you want to go in…first?”

“You can come too.” Emily said and she slid the door open, letting Spencer sliding it shut as he stepped in.

She tried so bad to convince herself that Y/N looked better since the last time, she seemed like she did. At least the machines weren’t beeping like crazy.

That was a good sign.

She stepped up to her bed while Spencer still remained in the background, watching. He seemed terrified.

She sat down, giving a smile to Spencer before glancing back at Y/N. “Hey, uh, we saw her, you know. She’s… really small, she only weighs one pound. That really freaked me out at first, but she’ll make it. You made it this far, so she will as well. She probably got your strong genes, she made it, even with all the complications that were implied with a birth at 23 weeks.” she explained. “She’s really beautiful, she has your hair. She hasn’t opened her eyes yet, but I can tell she was… somehow looking for you, asking for you. So, get well soon so you can see her, okay?” Emily asked, keeping her eyes on her for a minute before going back to staring at her own hands.

“These past days have been horrible.” Spencer said.

“I’m going to be afraid of cars for a while, probably.”

“I wouldn’t blame you for that.” he answered.

“...yes.”

The whisper quietly spread in the room, making both of the agents’ heads snap towards it.

“Y/N?” Emily called.

“I’ll marry you.”

++