#ha its also the time of the year i feel very pathetic good to realize it for sure lmao

[rilakeila]

heavy hearts and hidden truths, where draco breaks up with you to protect you

word count 4.2k fandom harry potter pairing hbp!draco malfoy x fem!reader warnings death eaters, mentions of bullying and pranking author's note i didn't give yall the sad ending :,P

request its where the reader is also a slytherin and friends with slytherin boys and pansy and daphne (absolute dream team)... Reader is specifically close with theodore... time goes by draco gets jealous and tries to hide it..partnered up for a potions homework with potter/cedric/etc..draco finally has enough. reader and her partner grew close working as project partners... makes draco jealous... and realize his feelings about her. reader becomes a little distant... but draco never talks about his feelings. so one day when the reader was on her way to work for the school project with her partner draco gets enough and confesses his feelings. request Hellooo! Can I request an imagine with draco malfoy where reader is also a slytherin& pure blood and used to date draco but he breaks up with the reader to protect her but they still love each other so much that draco is still jealous of her hanging with other boys and eventually draco and reader get back together? i combine a lot of requests bc it makes it interesting

LONGING, the emotion that consumed you as you returned to hogwarts after a lonesome summer. draco malfoy had been distant, almost aloof, from the very beginning of the break, and it left an ache in your chest. it was not that you hadn't expected some separation after spending nearly every waking moment together during the school year. but the way he seemed to be purposely keeping his distance, making minimal effort, it stung. It was a far cry from the closeness you had once shared. though, that was until the last two weeks of the break where the entire group of your shared friends decided to have a day together prior to the school year. that was the night that he decided to break it off, only to keep it a secret from everyone else. all you done was nod, after growing tired of waiting and just the sense of knowing.

there was a tense atmosphere during the train ride to hogwarts, lorenzo was initiating most of the conversations, just as he always does. you only responded, when necessary, even if there was an elephant in the room. your cheeriness that typically kept up with him was struggling to reach, which the only person who truly did know about the cause of your quietness was theodore. he was in the wrong place at the wrong time when the breakup had happened, but you believed it was the right time, as there would have been a struggle for yourself in confiding with someone else. theodore had been your best friend for quite some time since your first year, longer than you knowing draco. theo was the reason as to why you had a relationship with the blonde, anyways.

“why’s everyone’s knackers in a twist?” lorenzo plopped once more into his seat.

“hogwart’s a pathetic excuse for a school, rather pitch myself off the astronomy tower than keep going there for the next two years,” draco said, more so insinuating on something. 

“what is that supposed to mean?” pansy questioned, “weren’t you just saying a couple weeks ago that you were ready for potions?”

“to make a poison so that i don’t have to go here anymore,” draco said, though, a sudden black smoke misted the slytherin carriage, making everything barely visible.  

everyone peered around, not knowing what was happening. draco was the one who stood up to look around, obviously on edge about something.

“it’s probably those no good second years,” blaise completely unbothered.

“okay, draco, stop spoiling the fun, come on, (y/n), get your boyfriend in the right mindset,” lorenzo nudged you after returning to his seat when scouting around for any students.

“sure, it’ll be fun this year,” you tried your best to cheer him up, but there was no getting past his barriers. 

“for most of us,” theodore eyed draco. he was always rather perceptive and always knew something that no one else did. draco just looked away from theodore to view the scenery passing by. 

lorenzo quit trying to liven the atmoshphere, opting to fall asleep after fighting the urge to continue getting everyone in the same energy. blaise and pansy moved tables with crabbe and goyle, after pansy had stated it felt stuffy in the general area. you conversed with theo regarding about your upcoming classes especially since passing the difficult examinations of the OWLS. a rumor has it that snape moved to the cursed role of being the defense against dark arts professor. the slytherin privilege was no more, but snape still was a rather difficult professor.

the often-shared looks with draco were awkward, not knowing whether to talk to him or leave him be to cover up the lost relationship despite theodore knowing. draco was spacing out often, thinking about something else as his eyebrows would slightly scrunch as he twiddled his fingers. the remainder of the train ride was quiet, as the main atmosphere maker was out, exhausted from some event he had from the day before.

“come on, enzo, we’re here,” theodore nudged the sleeping boy, who was clinging his arm. 

“five minutes.”

“well, in five minutes, you’ll be on your way back to kings’ cross,” theodore managed to release his arm from the tight grip, collecting his own items. lorenzo grunted after falling on the bench which caused you to snort. the taller boy reached for your purse, “ready?”

you nodded, looking at draco who was just staring before looking around, knowing that he had sensed something. 

“you guys go on, i have to check on something,” draco was looking around once more. he was definitely on edge, but you were unsure what it was, similar to the anxiousness that he had worn during the break-up. though, you had heard from theodore that there was just some familial issues that he was going through according to mr. nott, his father. everyone just understood, leaving him, not before you gave him one last look. the only thing you had seen from the last of the carriage was that the blinds of every single window was shut.

walking to the thestral carriages, you could not help but turn your head back to the train, wondering what draco’s problems were. upon reaching the carriage, you watched theo pet the thestral, or what would be just nothingness, “is it just me or does draco look like he’s going absolutely mad?”

“maybe, but his dad is in azkaban, i wouldn’t be surprised if he is,” theo said as he helped you onto the carriage.

“whatever it is, he needs to get off his high horse and come back to the ground,” enzo yawned, crossing arms while leaning back on the carriage.

“well, we might be one less player this season,” theodore said, causing enzo to jolt up.

“what do you mean we’re one less player? you think malfoy is quitting?” enzo groaned, having to think about quidditch would have definitely stressed him out on the first day.

“why do you think he’s going to quit?” you questioned. theo only may have assumed as draco never failed to talk about quidditch during the train ride every year, but he always knew something, just as enzo was the news outlet of the group, seeming to have every side of secrets about everyone.

“just a thought.”

the first two days of settling back into school felt the same as it would in your previous years. though, your partner in attending class was replaced by theodore, which was how it was during your first four years of hogwarts until your relationship with draco. the entire group managed to enroll in the newt level of potions, perhaps mostly because of snape with his favoritism. though, now the professor was horace slughorn, someone you were familiar with as your parents had talked very highly of him when recounting their academic experience.

“before we get started on brewing potions, you’ll each be assigned to a partner this semester where you will be aiding each other. to endorse interhouse collaboration, mr. potter, you will be partnered up with ms. (l/n), mr. weasley, well, you’re an extra. i suppose you can replace ms. (ln)’s spot with ms. granger and mr. berkshire,” slughorn said.

you felt harry’s presence as he stood next to you, a small exchange of hellos were made. there was not any tension between you and harry unlike between him and the rest of your friends with the exception of enzo who was a little too kind, only to snag information from other people to build his portfolio. 

being dismissed by slughorn to your workstations, you noticed a slight hesitation from harry, perhaps from the recent events that had occurred and probably the lack of knowledge that you and draco had broken up. you glanced around the classroom to reach draco’s eyes which were fixated on you and harry before tearing away to focus on the task at hand.

as you reached your cauldron, you realized that harry may have some sort of vendetta that you were just as snobby as the rest of your friends, which was further from the truth. you were quite distant from the problems that they would cause as they were mostly all talk especially pansy. you cleared your throat, “can you read the ingredients i have to get from the cabinet for the draught of living death?”

“sure,” harry followed you into ingredients closet, reading out the list as you placed them on the tray. 

“alright, that should be all of them, thanks, harry,” you gave him a smile.

“i was quite nervous in partnering with you, felt like you were going to be like malfoy and the lot,” his head turned to the general area of where your friends were.

“yeah, i get that a lot. bullying people was never my cup of tea, neither were my parents to raise me like that,” you watched harry crush the sopophorus bean with the blade of his knife despite the instructions stating to cut it up.

“it gets finnicky with stabbing at it so try to crush it to release the juices into the pot.”

you nodded, seeing that it indeed worked much better. harry seemed to know what he was talking about while following the instructions, taking a stab at adding an extra bean instead of the regular 12, saying it was just a hunch and the color looked off. the potion brewing with harry was a delight, even making of seamus who blew up his own as he does in every class. finishing off the potion with the last touches, you and harry nodded at each other with a grin. 

“merlin’s beard, this is perfect. these excellent potion skills were surely passed down in the families,” slughorn had brought each of your finished potions to test them, which obviously passed with flying colors. he presented the vials of felix felicis, “make sure to use these well.”

you smiled, thanking slughorn, as the rest of class applauded for the both of you. scanning the crowd, lorenzo and theodore were the only ones clapping, the former with cheering you on being the loudest in the room while the other gave a set of five claps before halting. draco, on the other hand, had no expression except the slight jaw clenched. 

harry turned to you, “well, i am pleased to have you as a partner, thank you.”

“of course, well, you definitely did most of the work, really all of it, so, thank you,” you said as you both walked back to your workstation, cleaning up the area, “we should probably meet up or split the work for the potion ingredients and essay over everlasting elixirs.”

“sure, yeah. we can look later in the week, library?” harry questioned which you just nodded. bidding your goodbyes, you were bombarded by enzo once, while everyone else followed behind it was the group’s time to hang around in a random place.

“hanging out with the chosen one? how do you feel, draco?” enzo looked over at him.

“he’s pathetic, as always,” he stayed over in his place before walking off. along with his anxiousness, he was always in a rush to get somewhere, head spaced out.

as everyone watched him, enzo broke the silence, “okay, always the mood killer. does anyone want to go to the courtyard?”

“wait, did i miss something,” daphne had joined the group as she was the only one who did not advance into the newt level of potions.

“just draco being in a mood, he’s been like that for a couple of days,” enzo shrugged, leading the group which was typically draco’s.

daphne nudged you before linking arms, “do you know? i don’t think i’m ready for enzo to try to have a high level of energy.”

“i tried to talk to him, won’t budge,” you answered, “enzo would let us have fun.”

“well, break up with him if he won’t communicate,” daphne laid her head on your shoulder, which you chuckled even if it already happened. she always given you the advice to break off the relationship no matter how big or little the issue may have been. 

“maybe.”

ever since the partner match-up for potions, your friend group has started to rotate in harry, hermione, and ron, as they seemed to be always together. breaking down walls with ron was the hardest, seeing that he had a grudge against the rest of your friends. though, it was rather easy when ginny was getting along with you just fine as you would have to sit with harry during breakfast in order to work with your potions assignments. 

“are you ready for the quidditch season?” you questioned ginny as she initiated the topic, talking about the newest broom.

“of course, a good feeling this season actually, probably might win the cup for gryffindor. sorry to your house, (y/n),” ginny teasingly had said, knowing that you had little care for the sport. your eyes flickered up to slytherin table to see draco’s spot in the group empty next to yours, but you noticed everyone’s eyes watching in your direction, only to turn around quickly when you see them except theodore who shot you a small smile, which you returned.

“i wouldn’t doubt it, they’re gonna be out a seeker this season anyways,” you returned, completing your notes for herbology.

“it’s not like draco was any better than harry, no offense, (y/n),” ginny apologized yet again, which you just chuckled, loving that she was always ready to speak her mind. finishing the last bit of your notes, it was time to head to the library to finish another part of the everlasting exilirs with harry, “alright, ginny, i am off. i need to head off to the library, are we still on for baking later?”

“as long as you had permission from the hufflepuffs,” she waved you goodbye. as you exited the great hall, you were ambushed by daphne and lorenzo with a stalking theodore.

“a traitor, you are,” daphne released you once reaching a certain part of the hall.

before being able to respond, enzo continues, “you stopped hanging out with us.”

you looked at each of them, theodore seemed to be the only one who had little care as you had your late-night talks in the common room. you sighed, “it is nothing serious, there’s just a lot of things going on.”

“okay, but we don’t need to lose you to ultimate dark side like draco,” enzo said.

“what does that even supposed to mean?” you questioned, picking at his choice of words. enzo was the type of person to use a certain set of words to hint at something, yet, now you were unsure whether this was intentional. it doesn’t help when harry had asked you if you thought draco would turn into a death eater, just as the rest of his family. you were unsure, yet again, as you knew he did not have the heart to do so. harry also knew your parents were death eaters up until the fact Dumbledore revealed to him that they were double agents for the order. even then, the question did make the rest of that night rather awkward and tense.

“he just means that we don’t want you always disappearing during the day. have you noticed that he is always gone before slughorn dismisses us?” daphne leaned against the wall with crossed arms, “but, you wouldn’t notice since you’re always with potter and the rest of those muggle-lovers. are you guys even dating anymore, you’re never together. and, mind you, draco’s always at your beck and call, groveling at your feet. we noticed, (y/n), so you better start talking.”

“no, we didn’t break up,” you answered too quickly, feeling the weight of the eyes of daphne and lorenzo, mostly the former. you sighed, feeling the bubble pressured and ready to burst as they obviously had known, “yes, we did. truth to be told, the way draco has been acting, i really don’t know.”

“so, everyone here just does not know?” enzo questioned, “well, he’ll fest eventually. he’s quite fragile anyways.”

you hummed, “well, i have to go to the library, i’ll see you guys soon.”

walking away, theodore followed you, “i’’m headed there, so i’ll walk with you.”

you only nodded as your mind was occupied by what lorenzo had said. looking behind you just to make sure he was out of ear shot, you asked, “theo, do you think, i don’t know, draco turned like his parents?”

“is it because of what enzo had said? maybe, maybe not, but if he did, it’s only probably because his parents made him do it for his safety,” theo answered.

“so, what about you?” you questioned as his dad was supposedly some sort of loyalist to you-know-who based on what he had shared a couple nights ago.

“worry about me later, but draco, just give him some time. i know you’re sad in the inside, you’ve been avoiding us to escape the things at hand,” he said, pausing in front of the library doors before looking around. you nodded once more, seeing the rare opening of his arm, indicating he was welcoming a side hug. he only ever done so when your pet had died and failing a mock test for transfiguration after pulling several all-nighters. the immediate response of accepting the hug, allowed you to release a sigh that has been culminating since the breakup. 

“thank you,” you let loose from the hug. though, you were met with blue eyes across the hallway, only for him to storm off the other way. you only managed to catch specks of anger in the blankness of his face, only now adding that he was hurting due to something prior to the breakup. upon realizing about theo had said about giving him time, you asked, “do you know something about why draco’s been the way he has been?”

“no, just guesses and what if scenarios, but he just says for everyone to give him time. there were no specifics,” theo said, and you decided to not push for the answer, hopefully letting the truth set free.

since your conversation with theodore, there was an overdrive of thinking about every single word he had said. it was a known fact to you that he typically spoke in riddles or have underlining meaning to much of his phrases, especially if it is to help out certain people. you have seen him do it to third years, tricking them for some sort of prank, where it would mean one way or the other, knowing that they would pick the obvious. you have not spoken to theodore or for the rest of your slytherin group, opting to fill your time with busy work. 

going on your way to the library, you heard raised voices, granted as most students would be in class, only sixth or seventh years would be out on a free period. as learning from enzo that any raised voices in classrooms were sources of good news to share, even though you disagreed, there was a hunch sitting in the pit of your stomach that needed to be picked.

“mate, i’m bloody losing it,” followed with a rapid pace of footsteps.

“you need to calm down, your occlumency is going to shatter. you would endanger everyone especially her.”

what is going on? you knew exactly who those voices belonged to. draco was certainly in distress about something. what does theo even mean about endangering people.

there was a slam against a cabinet, “what do you know about calming down? you don’t think i saw you cozying up with her in front of the library. you don’t even do anything about pathetic potter.”

another thud was heard, “i wouldn’t have to if you would just tell her in the first place. she is endangered whether you like it or not. her parents are just like us, too. your relationship, her meeting your parents. our circle in itself endangers her. what about berkshire? forget who his mummy is? it’s your deranged aunt.”

they were death eaters. theo. draco. the hint that theodore was a death eater sat in him avoiding the question. it was right in front of you. 

“who cares? you don’t have the task that i do. her heart is gonna break when she finds out, she hates them. he’s going to kill her first then he’ll get to me. i need to do it”

draco was right, it did break your heart that he became one of them. even though you had everything you needed to know as to why he has been distant, but what was his task. before hearing anything more, you heard footsteps rounding the corner, jumping to fix your positioning to protect the two from anyone eavesdropping. you opened your journal, pretending to walk and read, only to see it was harry.

“you looked like you’ve seen headless nick for the first time. is everything alright?” he gestured to your face

your head was certainly in a frenzy after everything you have heard, starting to walk away from the classroom to avoid letting him hear what was happening, “yeah, everything is well, just reading for potions.”

he nodded, knowing he would not press on the issue. you made a point to ginny that he was those typical tall dumb jocks found in those american muggle movies. “would you like to come to quidditch practice, ginny keeps asking.”

hearing the door shut, seeing theodore and draco walk out, you quickly faced forward, practically dragging harry, “yeah, of course, i’ll lead the way.”

as you walked to the quidditch pitch with harry, replaying the conversation in your head made you slightly infuriated but there was a set of mixed emotions following through. he was reasonable with keeping the secret of becoming a death eater from you, but you trusted him just as he trusted you when it came to situations like these. you were angry, but there was a huge concern at whatever he has to do that had to be so dangerous.

lost in your thoughts, you barely noticed that harry had been talking about quidditch or dumbledore’s army, honestly you were unsure at whatever he was talking about. that was until he stopped walking with concern, which you didn’t notice until his voice faded away and that he was several meters back. you sighed, walking backwards to where he was.

“are you sure you’re okay? you seemed more distracted than staring at the lake when we’re doing the potions assignments with ron, hermione, and berkshire,” he said, pointing out your love for the body of water.

“yeah, i’m fine, just thinking about my herbology essay,” you lied, knowing that he would take the lie. you continued to walk to the pitch with him, not being able to shake off the conversation.

eavesdropping the talk was simply the greatest but worst idea you have ever had. the guilt of having that weight of knowing without their consent was painfully sitting on your shoulders. you barely talked to theodore, completely ignoring him. you barely even see draco anymore, choosing to keep your head down. several days had passed with your continuance of ignoring the both of them, even seeping into disregarding everyone else. you frequently were out of the slytherin common room until the night when everyone was sleeping, leaving in the early morning before people had awoken.

walking into the slytherin dormitory after a gryffindor-house party (only getting a pass to be there since you were an honorary house member dubbed by seamus), your footsteps as quiet as they could be against the tile floors. the fireplace lit, lighting up the person in front of it. head down in their hands, sitting on the armchairs. he looked up as he heard the taps of your shoes. his eyes lingered on you for a moment before looking away.

in that glance, you could tell he was worn out, and you knowing that he truly has the world on his shoulders. his blonde hair was disheveled instead of its neatly combed state, his tie loosened, and sleeves rolled up. you knew that he was losing his mind, as his foot rapidly tapped the floor, hands changing positions often, combing through his hair, resting on his neck, or rubbing them together. 

you inhaled, knowing that he was in dire need of comfort.

you exhaled, that was still the boy you loved.

“draco,” you softly said, not wanting to startle him.

instantly, he looked at you with pleading, exhausted eyes. you sat on the arm rest of the chair he was on, reaching out to run your fingers to comb through his hair. he leaned in, allowing you to touch him, and you carefully combed his hair back into place. your other hand found its way to his back, and he seemed to collapse into you. you pulled him into an embrace, feeling tears wetting your shirt as he sobbed, repeated murmurs of “i’m sorry” and “i love you.”

you held him close, letting him cry into your shoulder as you continued to stroke his hair and comfort him. You didn't need words to understand the pain and fear he was feeling, and you knew that sometimes, just being there for someone was enough. after a few minutes, his sobs subsided, and he pulled away from you, wiping his tears. He looked at you with gratitude in his eyes, and you gave him a small smile. It was a silent understanding that you were there for each other, through thick and thin.

“thank you.”

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[podcastenthusiast]

Three little drabbles featuring Geralt "Horse Girl" of Rivia and different animals, from Jaskier's POV.

---

1. Horse

Jaskier realized it a few weeks into this new witcher-following, song-composing venture. Specifically, when he went to eat the last apple and was told in no uncertain terms that it's for Roach, even though their food rations were running worringly low and they were a day's ride from the next village. Even though he's a fragile human. Even though she could literally just eat grass.

The mare outranked him. She had seniority.

He tried to befriend the horse, with middling success.

He tried to befriend the witcher, too.

At least Roach could be bribed with a carrot or a handful of raisins.

People project a lot of their own feelings onto animals, he supposed. It's a relationship designed to be unequal. As complex or as simple as a person wants it to be.

For a while, he had started to resent her a little, as pathetic as that may sound. That is, until he woke in the middle of the night and overheard a murmured, rather one-sided conversation.

"I worry about him, though," Geralt was saying. "Can't exactly just find a new bard and start calling him Jaskier if something happens, can I."

What?

"Wish he'd shut up sometimes, but... I guess it's been kind of nice having someone around who talks back."

Jaskier's heart felt like it might burst or break. Or both.

"Not that you aren't good company, old girl."

Roach gave a quiet snort.

That was all years ago, now. The horse is different, but still somehow Roach.

He is different, too, but somehow still Jaskier. Still the reliable bard his friend needs him to be.

Now, he watches from his spot by the campfire as Geralt brushes through Roach's mane. The witcher's got drowner brains in his own hair but gods forbid he has a wash before his trusty companion is completely tended to. He's very gentle with her, which is probably why she tolerates it as well as she does. He's heard tales of stablehands losing fingers to routine grooming before.

Jaskier wishes he could write a ballad about this without potentially damaging his fearsome reputation-- the unbreakable bond between a witcher and his horse. The unexpected tenderness of hands made to kill.

He reaches for his quill to jot down a few ideas. Something something the mighty wolf and the wild horse, loyal and brave companions defending their forest home together. Keep it vague enough. Maybe a folktale vibe.

Besides, Jaskier thinks with a touch of bitterness, the wolf's tongue is the real danger. His jaws that snap at anyone foolish enough to get too close, to offer help when he's caught in a trap.

...Maybe he still has some feelings to work through.

The wolf also has a heart he tries so hard to bury. Jaskier can see it. Always has.

"You spoil her rotten, you know," he remarks lightly, plucking on his lute strings. "She eats better than we do."

"It's like sharpening my swords. I have to keep Roach in good condition, or we don't eat at all."

"Mhm. And it's very sweet."

He no longer begrudges Roach her well-earned place at Geralt's side. The witcher had been alone out here for such a long time before he came along, probably will be again after he's dead and buried. Even if Jaskier does wish that he could be the one Geralt trusts with his innermost thoughts and secrets and sleepless night fears, he is glad the man has someone in whom he can confide.

They all have their roles in this story. Perhaps he ought to accept his as its scribe, and let that be enough.

But Jaskier's greatest fault, he knows, is an always has been his refusal to accept things as they are.

-

2. Cat

"Oh, look at that. Someone's cat has gone missing. Poor thing."

"We're here for real work, Jaskier," Geralt says, scanning a contract notice. Recent plague. Graves disturbed. Ghouls. See alderman for details. Bit dull.

"They're offering a reward. See?"

"Somehow I doubt a small child has enough coin to justify ignoring the ghouls."

"Says here you'll get their eternal gratitude and-- oh! The lady of the house will darn your socks free of charge for a full year. Any additional mending at a discount. Now that's a good deal."

"Hm."

"Geralt, as you know my favorite doublet is in a sorry state after that minor werewolf incident--"

"I told you to stay with Roach."

"--All water under the bridge now, of course, and what an adventure! Worthy of a fine ballad--"

"Jaskier."

"--as this would be. Can't you at least keep one keen witchery eye out for the cat?"

"And risk a ghoul catching me off guard? Sure."

"Well, now you're just being silly. Don't tell me you're a dog person. Or are you allergic?"

Geralt sighs, realizing now that only the truth will free him from this conversation.

"Don't mind cats," he mutters. "But they don't like me."

"Sorry, what?"

"Cats don't like me," he repeats. "They start hissing whenever I get too close."

Jaskier's expression is caught somewhere between disbelief and sadness. "Why?"

"I insulted their king. Why do you think? They've got more sense than certain humans, I guess."

It's a veiled remark. Jaskier sees right through it.

"You're not a monster, Geralt," he says, achingly sincere. Then, in a lighter tone, "Does that mean you've never pet a cat before?"

"I don't know. Maybe when I was very young. I can't remember."

Jaskier mercifully drops the subject after a quiet and thoughtful walk back to the village's tavern.

He doesn't fail to notice Geralt buying extra scraps of meat from the innkeeper, or how he sneaks away at night to set them like snares in promising locations near the village. He'd probably say it's for the ghoul contract if asked, but Jaskier knows better.

Even if he didn't, there is really no other explanation for Geralt returning to the inn on the second night, covered in claw marks, carrying a ghoul's severed head in one hand and a bag containing one squirming, hissing feline in the other.

-

3. Spider

"GERALT!"

Every witcher in Kaer Morhen hears the bard's scream, but Geralt reaches the room in moments, his silver sword already drawn.

"Jaskier, what--"

"Kill it!"

The bard is standing on his bed, pointing frantically at something. Geralt follows his panicked gaze and sees--

"Really, Jaskier?" He sighs.

"What are you waiting for? It's a monster! Kill it!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's not a monster. Just a spider. Not even poisonous."

"How do you know?"

"I read." Geralt crouches down for a closer look at the spider. "Might look scary but it's harmless. Probably sought shelter from the cold."

"Well, then it can go right back outside."

"Jaskier, be reasonable."

"I am. Either the spider goes or I do."

The witcher looks thoughtful. Says nothing.

"Oh, thanks, Geralt! I feel so loved."

The spider crawls onto Geralt's hand and Jaskier almost screams again, shrinking back even farther. Gods, it has so many legs!

"Pretend it's a kikimora or something," he pleads. "Why won't you kill one little spider for your very dearest old friend in the world?"

"Because kikimoras have no niche. They're invasive, and need to be dealt with to maintain balance in the ecosystem. Spiders aren't like that; they do belong. A monster, fundamentally, is any creature that doesn't."

Jaskier just stares at him, speechless. He's not sure he has ever heard Geralt say that many words all at once.

Geralt's eyes remain on the spider. "Witchers aren't sent out on the Path not knowing why we kill; we're not soldiers."

"I never thought of it like that," Jaskier admits. "That spider's still fucking terrifying, though."

"Hm. I'll take it outside."

"Geralt?"

"Hm?"

"I know what scared, stupid people say about witchers sometimes. But I-- You do belong. You're important. Just want you to know that."

"...Thank you, Jaskier," he says. Then, quieter, "You too."

[tweedlebugged]

Squinting at the latest dndads episode suspiciously and poking it with a stick. Because on the one hand, it definitely feels like something sus is going on under the surface here and Anthony’s going to pull the rug out any minute now.

On the other, this is a show called Dungeons and Daddies and you kind of have to accept on admission that the characters can and will twist the logical rules of the universe into a pretzel in service of a really good goof. So there’s no way to tell right now what seems a little weird For the Drama and what seems a little weird For the Bit.

Take Jodie. Last season he was this badass demon and objectively the most put together dad, and now he’s this kind of pathetic loser trying to get back with his ex. His ex who he’s definitely been broken up with for over two decades at this point, given that he was already dating Scam during the Church of the Doodler stuff only a few years post season 1. And he was a really involved dad who is obviously disappointed in Nicky for not being part of Taylor’s life, but also he seems totally indifferent toward Hermie and pinches his nose when he has to be near him? It’s weird! And he acts so eager to use these kids and is VERY obviously trying to manipulate them—the whole chosen one thing tbh, and giving scary “secret” information and telling her she smells so super evil when she’s just…not lol—but then gets worried and tries to stop Scary when she does something that will actually hurt her. Officer Foster sir what the fuck is your deal?

But also—Jodie the cringe fail King of Hell is hilarious and Jimmy could just have been leaning into that new persona because it’s good radio. And it was! So who knows!

And Glenn. We know he canonically helped found DADDIES and was working to take down the Doodler (fighting at the Church, putting in the super fast elevator) and Nicky continued to be involved for years after, so clearly the Close/Foster family cared about the Doodler stuff at one point. So how did Glenn end up with the Doodler’s anchor and why is he maiming children to keep them from getting it? Children he should probably recognize and care about at least a little! (Although to be fair Taylor and Link are both still wearing skull masks)

But ALSO—and I say this lovingly—Glenn does have a slight history of being a selfish garbage man, and even though his character grew a lot by the end of season 1 it still wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility for him to have looked around after his friends were gone, realized all of his loved ones were actually safe, and decided to fuck off to do cool things in hell instead. Especially after the other kiddads betrayed Nicky. Anthony did say that he’d let the players decide what happened to their characters, and while I don’t know Mr. Frederick Wong personally “fighting 666 demons in mega hell with the love of his life” does have the exact vibe of an ending he’d choose for Glenn.

So is Glenn under the influence of the anchor somehow? Is he actually one of the Likely family in disguise? Or is Freddy taking full advantage of being Glenn again to play out this character to its logical and EXTREMELY funny conclusion? Impossible to say!

And finally Agent Schmegan and the FBI. All that work hunting Nicky to the point that he had to abandon his family and stalking Taylor until they had an opportunity to draw out his dad, all so they could capture Nicky and torture him into letting them into hell. And now suddenly all they needed was text message permission from some random unrelated teenager and they could open a portal themselves? That’s fishy! And they had special weapons designed to take down Nicky, who said if they ever captured him his dads would be dead, but now Jodie can fight them all by himself without much issue? Feels a little like a scam, actually!

BUT ALSO—the 12 soccer players have been tied to the FBI since the FBI was introduced, and it makes sense to play out those stories at the same time. And since you can only go to hell once, bringing the FBI there now could take them out as a threat to Nicky. Which is more a narrative move than a comedy beat but would still be very funny when he loses his excuse to be an absentee dad and has to actually interact with Taylor. And his ex wife. And her new boyfriend.

This post isn’t going anywhere, the episode just reminded me why trying to theorize about Dungeons and Daddies is like trying to connect a conspiracy board with silly string (affectionate)

[tacobellabeanburrito]

PLEASE spill the tea. the girls (me) wanna know

AHHHH I KEEP LOSING MY FUCKING POST FOR THIS.

ANYWAY. Show choir is fucking racist on a lot of levels. Like, very. Of course, there are exceptions (there was a show choir I saw once that was mostly black) but for the most part, show choir is racist (and also discriminatory against overweight people AND height discriminatory)

You see, young Strawberry, show choir is all about image. Think of it like being a Rockette. They have to have the same hair (if your show requires long hair and you have short hair, you have to get extensions), same makeup (you have to buy the SAME exact eyeshadow palette) and everything else basically has to be the exact same. And this is where the racism part comes in.

If you do not meet their standards (not the correct height, not the correct weight and not the correct skin color (I.E white) you will most likely not get in no matter how good you are.

This is mostly the standard for show choir royalty (show choirs that have won a lot of awards and competitions) my show choir isn’t like this and a lot of show choirs aren’t like this, but there’s definitely a reason as to why I don’t see many people of color in show choirs.

There’s also a money problem, a lot of show choirs cost about 1000 dollars to participate (kinda crazy). I have a seperate post about all this shit but yeah. A little wacky.

ONTO WHY TEACHERS HAVING FAVORITES IS BAD. This mostly goes for the creative fields in school (choir, theatre, band, orchestra, etc) but teachers have favorites depending on how good a person is, not how much they try. A lot of the people on my choir (not just show choir, I’m in a lot of choirs so this goes for all) are bitches. They’re mean and nasty. But they’re really good at what they do. So they get solos, duets, whatever (AND ITS THE SAME PEOPLE EVERY TIME) And despite me trying really hard (and also being good at singing) I don’t really get anything in return. Not to sound bitter I guess but it’s super disheartening to look up to someone and realize they look past you and don’t notice how hard you try, and then sometimes they DO and just don’t give any shots and that hurts.

I try not to let it get to me, but it’s hard sometimes. And this goes for regular teaching too. You know that “You’re student is a joy to have in class” meme? That’s code for “You’re student doesn’t talk and doesn’t make an impact”. A lot of the annoying, eccentric, attention whore students are ALWAYS the favorites and actual good students get left in the dust and that sucks a lot of the time. It’s disheartening and makes these students feel terrible about themselves.

NOW ONTO TEACHERS ABUSING THEIR FUCKING POWER. So, my senior year has been an absolute shit show, you know why? It’s because my teachers and mentors have been abusing their power.

So alright, context, this story is kind of crazy? And I might have forgotten some important details but anyway.

So, I know I’m a very good actor and pretty good singer (my actings better than my singing). And I’m also a senior. This year, I got ensemble for our musical. Despite the fact that for the past years I’ve gotten a lead in every play and musical before that. The people who got the leads are my friends, I was proud of them, but they were all sophmores and juniors. WHICH WAS CRAZY! Almost all the seniors got ensemble, which is pretty insane. It’s our last fucking year, they can have their moment AFTER we fucking leave. But of course, our director did not care. He called me (and everyone else who quit) pathetic. Ok, then. Director. How would you like it if we absolutely decimated your musical? So basically, long story short, I accidentally started a theatre revolution. I was the first one who quit because I didn’t get a good role (NOT BECAUSE I WAS SOUR GRAPES! But because I got cheated out a role, and a lot of people (even the underclassmen who got roles) agreed with me on that) and then a lot of other people also quit because they ALSO got cheated out of a role. This caused my director to put out three separate cast lists. Which was HILARIOUS to watch in real time. He got so pissed that everyone was quitting that he punched a cabinet in front of a bunch of freshman. And so, because everyone quit, the musical didn’t happen. THIS ALSO GOES IN TANDEM WITH MY CHOIR TEACHER. Omg she was also so pissed but very passive aggressive about it. I was talking about Legally Blonde once and my choir teacher pops in to tell us “Well we COULD’VE had a good musical if ALL THOSE PEOPLE didn’t quit” and it’s like, girl you were not in our conversation and our convo about how good of a musical Legally Blonde is has NOTHING to do with your shitty musical.

NOT TO MENTION. Our director KNEW EXACTLY what shows we wanted to do, and yet we didn’t do them. Like, what? He chose a stupid fucking musical nobody has heard about and a stupid fucking play nobody has heard about. Like, what? HUH?

Anyway, thats the story of how I destroyed our musical and also how much I hate my choir director and theatre director and how absolutely STUPID teachers can be. I haven’t even gone into detail about how stupid my choir teacher is (Omg, everyone is quitting everything because SHES A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BITCH) I hate her so much too.

If you wanna know more about how show choir works, I recommend my post on it. I did it a while back and talk about some interesting tidbits of lore. (Did you know that there is a 9/11 show choir show?)

[thealmightyemprex]

Universal Month:All Quiet On the Western Front

The film I shall review ,All Quiet on the Western Front has been on my watch list since 2008,when I saw it on AFI's Top 10 War films.....Thats a long time to be on my to watch list.I have indeed rented it twice before from my local library ,but both times hadnt gotten round to watching it .You might be wondering why it took so long for me to watch it ....To be honest.....Its hard to hype myself up to watch bleak movies,and I KNEW this was bleak,I have actually seen the 70's version(I think I even reviewed it but cant find my review _.....Doubt I will watch the recent remkae that came out (Which I hear is not just bleak but long and.....Long movies, I have to be in a mood for ).But anyway what do I think of this version ?

in this 1930 film we follow Paul Baumer (Lew Ayres ) and his friends as they enlist in the German army during The Great War only to find War is not glorious and face the horrors of it

So I am not a war film connoisseur,but I dont hate war movies,one of my favorite films is Lawrance of Arabia which is a war film .A common criticism I hear to War films is that cause battles and fights are inherently cinematic .....Movies make war look cool,with war films either coming across as propaganda pieces OR if the film is about how War sucks ,the cinematicness of war undercuts the message.....I am glad to say this film is one of the most sucessful Anti War films I have seen ,cause it makes war look miserable .In fact if the film has a theme to me its misery .I was kind of surprised how harrowing this film was for a film from 1930 ,in fact that made the shocking moments more shocking.This is a film about basically kids getting swept up to "Fight the good fight" only to starve ,lose limbs ,go mad or die.My favorite scene in the movie is when the troops are relaxing and talking about the war and realize.....They dont know why they are fighting .Its both a light scene yet it underlines the darkness of the story

I also wanna confess.......I only knew ONE actor going into this film,Lew Ayres ,who plays the protagonist Paul ,cause he went on to have a long and diverse career ,though I know him for his later Television work as an old man in the pilot of Battlestar Galactica and the miniseries Salems Lot .Initially at the start of the film I wasnt impressed by him,in fact he kind of blended in with the other boys .....But halfway through he started to really grow as a caharcter and for an early sound performance I was actually really gripped by Ayres.His best scene is when he kils a soldier and is stuck in a pit with him

Other performances that stood out were John Wray as the nasty postman turned Sergent Himmelstoss ,who is a perfect unlikable,mean and pathetic character showing people given power who shouldnt have it .The scene stealer of the film is Louis Wolheim as Kat ,the sort of big brother/cool uncle figure of the soldiers,the tough guy with a heart of gold who most of the films warmth comes from....And whose departure from the film made me misty eyed

If I have a complaint it that most of the soldiers kind of blend together for me and I really dont like the scene where PAul confronts the professor who convinced him to enlist,it feels at odds with the rest of the film and a bit heavy handed

OVeralll.....This was better then I thought it would be ,this is a really harrowing anti war story that has hold up very well for being over 90 years old

@ariel-seagull-wings @countesspetofi @the-blue-fairie

@themousefromfantasyland @piterelizabethdevries

@theancientvaleofsoulmaking @princesssarisa @amalthea9

@barbossas-wench

[cupoftaae]

Forever and a day (KTH x READER) series♡ boys never grow up. chapter 3

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count: around 2k!!

chapter warnings: so much angst, some fluff if you squint. tae is really sad and reader is kind of mean in this chapter (but shes just confused its ok!) some suggestive talk but nothing major. i think thats all?

A/N- hey everyone! thank you for being so patient with this chapter, I apologize again for going offline for like 2 months, school and work is so crazy but Im glad to be back and writing. Enjoy chapter 3 and check my page for the previous 2 chapters. I will make a masterlist with each chapter soon.

"Honestly if you ask me, hes not doing you any favors. hes holding you back, he works from home and expects you to stay there with him, like a child who depends on their parent. its pathetic. I dont know why hes so defensive over you, He probably has a crush. Hes not very good at hiding it-"

you stared off at the wall behind your boyfriend, Kaito, as he rambled about the previous days altercation. you agreed to meet him for breakfast at the cafe down the street despite you trying to find an excuse out of it that wasnt: "I need to talk to Tae".

you had tried to communicate with tae as soon as you walked out of your room but he was afraid you were mad, and made up some lie about meeting with a friend. you know tae isnt meeting up with anyone. perhaps kaito was correct about the whole 'he depends on you' type thing, because since you guys had agreed to be friends with benefits, he isolated himself to just you. it was slightly concerning considering the fact you two are no longer exclusive, yet he remains emotionally attached.

"What do you think?" he spoke up, taking a sip of his still steaming coffee, while yours remained untouched.

shit.

"about what?" your eyes grew large, hands resting in your lap as you met his confused and slightly irritated gaze.

"about moving in with Chae? I just said it?"

you scoffed under your breath and looked out the window, shaking your head. he was still talking about this? you think he would learn and know better after last nights scene which was caused by this very topic.

"i dont....I dont know kai. Ive got a lot on my plate right now, and she hasnt even reached out to me about that so" you shrugged and looked down at your mug.

"whats going on with you?" he began, eyes scanning over your slumped frame. "you are a mess lately, you dont listen to me when I talk, you havent been keeping up with homework, youre always busy."

you sadly fidgeted with your coat sleeve, realizing everything he was saying was true.

"you know your grades are dropping in Ms.Daniels class right? you never submitted your final scene for the semester and she keeps bugging me to tell you about it, even though you should be keeping track of it yourself, Y/N"

you sighed deeply before nodding, feeling tears at the brim of your eyes. " i know" you mumbled.

"you are becoming distracted. dont let him do that to you. hes 23 years old and he is acting like that? keeping you from being successful just because he dropped out of college himself?"

you felt like your heart had been stabbed by your boyfriends words. You loved tae, he was your best friend, you spent all night in tears over how guilty you felt about this whole situation. you loved him, more than you had realized, but within those thoughts you also came to the conclusion that all you two had was sex. there was no dates, there was no true quality time together that didnt end up with you both making out. You wanted better, you wanted a relationship, which is the one thing Tae didnt want, and you know he would never date you.

Maybe that was it, all these harbored feelings which longed for something he would never give you. but you have kaito now, and its not fair for you to allow Taehyung to cling to your feet while also pursuing a relationship. what were you thinking? about to give up a relationship with a man who actually will give you want you want for some playdate? get yourself together y/n.

"you are right." you swallowed and wiped a tear, looking up at him. he frowned, "im not trying to hurt your feelings, im just saying what I think can help"

"no, no, angel." you reached over to hold his hand. "I need to start focusing on me and less on him. You are correct"

"can I ask you something?" Kaito mumbled, his thumb running over your knuckles.

"hm?"

"were you and him ever together?"

you laughed, shaking your head while trying to think of exactly how to word it. "no. we were never together in any kind of way" you offered a reassuring smile as he nodded.

"ok, im just trying to figure out why he could be so obsessed with you" he laughed

you hummed, "me and him have been friends since we were little, we do everything together and I think since he moved away from his parents, i remind him most of home?" you shrugged.

"maybe. or he likes you" he laughed again.

you bit your lip and shook your head. "no, I dont think so"

"ive seen the way he looks at you." he went on, sitting back. "im a man, y/n, I know these things".

"what things?"

"you know...like when a guy is 'intruiged' by a girl, wants to 'be' with them." he gestures. "to be honest he does seem like the kind to just try and get what he wants then leave" he added on casually, eating the last bite of the shared muffin in front of you.

you were in shock. Is that what all men did? did taehyung only see you in that way?

"and...how do you see me?"

kaito looks back at you and smiles, "i see you as the most beautiful girl, who I love immensely and would do anything for"

your cheeks blush, sitting back in your seat as your hands fidgeted.

"do you wanna just spend the day together? you dont have to go back tonight, id imagine things are....tense, back at the apartment" kaito suggested, standing up and tossing trash away.

spend the day and spend the night with kaito? but what about taehyung? another missed opportunity to finally talk with him.

"sure" you mumble. "but I do need to head home first for a few hours so I can finish some homework, can you pick me up around 6?" you ask, getting up as well.

he kissed your forhead. "ill be there"

-

Taehyung had been sitting by the lake while he attempted to read "The Catcher In The Rye", a book you previously suggested to him. He didnt understand this type of literature, it wasnt for him. He was never the type to sit and read, but oh how he wanted to be like you.

he lied and told you he was meeting up with a friend from high school, which he knew you wouldnt believe, considering he doesnt have any friends. He just wanted an excuse to avoid you and whatever angry words you had to share with him.

he realized a few things last night, 1, that the chance of you feeling how he feels about you, was literally 0 now. and 2, he needs to get his shit together. It would be hard to just throw away how he felt, especially with what Dahyun said last night. but he knew nothing would come from this. tae needs to focus on tae.

He never regretted his college decision, but he regretted devoting his time so young with some fucking business corporation. If he could chose to do anything, it would be an artist, or something like that. He would love to teach art to younger children. He loved kids and the freedom of expression, the freedom of just being and living. He wished he had motivation to go after what he wanted like you did. Perhaps he believes reading books you enjoy will somehow change him.

or not, considering hes reread the same page 4 times. he looked up to view the water. the way it rippled slightly with the wind. His attention was then caught by a much older man sitting just on the other side of the lake with an easel and canvas, painting. he smiled to himself as he began to think of all the possibilities his life could go in. Since the pandemic, hes kinda been at a stand still. Now the world is open and, truthfully, if he tries hard enough, he could do whatever he wanted. maybe he was too dependent on certain people in his life.

he looked down at his phone to check the time, seeinng you had texted him. He nervously opened the message which contained:

bumblebee: hey, staying over at kaitos tonight. im home rn so do you want me to cook something for you and leave it for dinner? lmk."

he scoffed. you seriously think he cant cook or fend for himself. Hell, you start a kitchen fire ONE TIME and suddenly you cant make dinner.

his eyebrows furrowed. he didnt care anymore if you were gonna spend time with kaito. you were not his to claim. you dont care so why should he? he wants to just forget about everything, the friends with benefits, the dream, YOU, everything.

you had stopped typing on your computer to read his response,

tata: no, thank you though. have fun!

you rolled your eyes, considering throwing together some miso soup and putting it on the stove for him. you knew he was still angry, you hadnt even been able to talk or sort it out, but he was trying to pull some act on you.

you left him on read before getting up and cooking, knowing he would end up eating it anyway.

Taehyung had stood from his spot and brushed the grass stain off his jeans before walking back home. He hoped he wouldn't have to talk to you, but the minute he walked in proved it would be harder than he thought.

you were stood in the kitchen, hair pulled back in a clip and you were applying lipstick through the reflection of the microwave.

you both saw eachother, speaking at the same time.

"is that my book?" "you made soup?"

you both smiled. "you read the book while you were with your friend?" you mumble, screwing the cap back onto your lipstick and throwing it into your overnight bag.

"yep" he pressed his lips together. "he had to, uh, leave early and I wanted to enjoy the nice air today so I stayed out longer. Brought it to keep me busy."

you crossed your arms and looked at him, nodding.

"hm, what do you think of Holden?" you asked.

his eyebrows raised as he looked at the book in his hand.

"uh, I mean. Hes a great guy" tae shrugged nonchalantly.

you scoffed. "no he isnt, hes incredibly flawed, and you did not read that book taehyung"

he looked toward the floor, accepting defeat. "Ok...but look" he walked further into the kitchen as he explained himself. "I cant get into it, I dont get any of the books that you recommend, like cmon what the hell is the 'bird that flew over the cuckoos tree'???"

"its 'nest' tae, and of course you cant get into it" you laughed to yourself. "they arent meant for you."

he put the book down on the table and looked up sadly, confused. "what does that mean?"

you sigh "it means you are childish"

"oh" he looks back at his shoes, deciding not to say anything further.

"you just like simple things, things that dont complicate you. stick to mangas and shit." you spoke, checking your bag so you have everything ready to go to kaitos.

you didnt mean to be rude. but you were fed up. here he is being all attached and in your space again, not even addressing or apologizi-

"look im sorry" he spoke up, voice raspy as he clears it.

you stand to look back at him, eyebrows raised.

"im sorry for being awful last night, it was so out of order and I understand I am quick to act like that and Ill do what I can to avoid it. Im sorry I made things weird, im sorry I embarrassed you and your boyfriend, im sorry for all of it. I am sorry that you feel like you cant talk to me, and im sorry for reading your book, or not? reading it? Im sorry that the reason I was so off yesterday is because I had a dream where we were intimate and it made me feel gross and disgusting because not even 5 hours later your boyfriend was in the room. im sorry that im too involved with you, you are my best friend and you are only that. I wont hold you back anymore, have fun at kaitos and text me. or dont, i dont care. Thanks for the soup." he spoke flatly, taking a breath as he finished then walking casually to his room as you stood there frozen, unsure of what to do or say.

"what the fuck?" you whispered to yourself, trying to unpack everything he just said. A dream??

you clutched your head and sighed. everything is such a mess. you finished throwing stuff into your bag and grabbed your phone, wanting kaito to pick you up an hour earlier, you needed to get out of the apartment and free your mind of whatever the fuck is going on. you needed to just have a nice time with your boyfriend.

taehyung leaned against the door to his bedroom and watched you leave with kaito. once you were gone, he shut the door and threw his hands to his face in shame. he really just let everything go there.

He wanted to rip the bandaid off, he wasnt sure it was the best way to do it but....kinda too late now. He wasnt sure what you would think of him now, but his conscience is now clean and he can do what he has been wanting to do: move on.

A/N: whew. the plot thickens. !!expect chapter 4 to be out friday!! comment to join taglist!

@taebangtanbabe

@turnthepageandbeburnt

[streaminn]

Enid tries to not take scenes too seriously while filming. Her whole thing is being a good actress, someone who can give it their all, not take it heart, make it feel real.

But fuck. It hurt to pretend fight with Wednesday. It hurt to shout at and be shouted at, it hurt to see Wednesday's face tighten and constrict with well-fsked anger.

It hurts.

She tries hard to hide it- very hard, and very well.

She's a good actress. She hides it. She doesn't want Wednesday to think she can't take it. They're so far into filming! A replacement now could push this project back months or even years!

She tries extra hard to push it down at home. Don't bring work home, happy wife, happy life, all that good stuff.

But one day it just hits.

It was so small. Enid wasn't watching where she was going and hit a doorframe and Wednesday was there and called her an idiot with that fond tone but Wednesday also called her an idiot during a shoot earlier and it felt real and-

She bawls. Wails. Breaks down in the entrance of their shared kitchen.

Wednesday's got a hand in her hair, another rubbing her ribs and it helps but also doesn't but it does-

Enid cries for a good while. The sun was nearing it's drip over the skyline, and by the time she's done, the sky's gone black.

It's nearing winter. Maybe she isn't as pathetic as she thinks she is.

"Dear," Wednesday starts, soft voiced in a way only Enid is privy to. "Are you alright? Do you wish to talk?"

"You yelled at me." It's all she can muster, meager and weak and pathetic.

She's pathetic.

"When, Cara Mia? I never mean to raise my voice."

"Durin' the fuckin'- the- the shoot. Part of the shoot. It was part of the shoot, part of the shoot, part of the shoot, part of the shoot, part of t-"

"Enid." Wednesday's voice has a finality to it. A sturdiness. "I understand you are distressed. But breathe, sweetheart."

Enid hadn't even realized she'd stopped breathing or that her claws were out or she'd been scratching her arms bloody.

"Right, right, right yup, you're ri- correct. I need to breath."

"You need to breath." Wednesday parrots.

They sit sit for a bit. A few moments. Minutes, maybe. Wednesday's thumb rubs circles into her forearm, the other hand placed lovingly on her cheek, cupping it warmly.

Loving.

"I know you didn't mean it," Enid starts, careful and slow and shaky and hurt, "but you yelled during the scene earlier -and it's part of the fucking script- but you sounded so mad-" tears in her fucking eyes like she's a fucking child.

"My wolf," Wednesday wipes the tears before they fall and it's such a tender action it makes Enid cry just a little harder. "I.."

She kisses Enid's forehead quietly, brushes her bangs back.

"I'm sorry. I meant nothing of the anger I gave you. It was fake."

"I know!-" Enid sobs, and her body rattles with it, "but it -fuck- it felt real!"

She takes a big breath to calm herself. Swallows air and spit and hurt.

"I know you never meant it- always give me kisses to make up for it, but you sound so convincing and it hurts so bad. I didn’t want to say anything because I didn't wanna hurt you or make you feel bad or like you had to delay or end the movie just because of me!"

She pants.

"It makes me feel like shit because both our characters have good points and it feels like we're having a real fight. It makes this part of me feel like our relationship is on the rocks and about to end and i want to break down and cry because of it."

Wednesday holds her.

It helps.

It's real.

"We're taking a break." No room for argument in her voice. Enid swallows. It's just spit she swallows now.

"A couple of weeks, maybe 3 or 4 if you need- and you will not lie."

"Okay. Okay." It's the first time in a few weeks she feels like she can breath unrestricted.

"Okay."

(Apologies if this isn't lore correct all the way through- I'm still new to your blog and AUs and what-not.)

man anon, you got me teary and shit. This is amazing! its totally alright for stuff to not be lore correct, i'll prob just offhandedly mention it but this is definitely how i'd do it too

i love it so much, just the way enid tends to shoulder things and just how willing Wednesday is to help her through it

its amazing man 😥you write them so well

[horrorslu7]

Karma is my boyfriend.

Summary: Your ex boyfriend was always very controlling, mean, and just plain toxic towards you, thankfully you got out of that relationship and started dating Corey who was way nicer to you and was a very devoted lover. Unfortunately ghosts from your past haunted you but karma was always on your side.

Pairing: (Post-Michael) Corey Cunningham x fem!reader.

Trigger warnings: Murder, past toxic relationship mentions.

You weren't always lucky with your partners. I mean luckily now you had Corey, he might be a bit hot-headed, possessive and such but he was never mean to you.

Sure you had some arguments here and there, like every other couple, but he was never hostile to you, he has never screamed at you or made you feel bad about yourself.

Quite the opposite actually, your past relationship was toxic and your ex had made it his goal in life to make your life miserable and to ruin your self-esteem, the relationship ended a year ago and you decided to move but that wasn't the kind of damage that can be repaired quickly.

And yes, a year is quite a long time, but not long enough to fix your self-esteem completely or your trust in people and yourself. Having a boyfriend doesn't magically solve those problems no matter how amazing he is, but it does help when he's supportive.

And Corey was a very supportive boyfriend, not only supportive, he was a devoted boyfriend. There's nothing he wouldn't do for you and he made sure you knew that.

Time and support helped you realize how amazing you were, and how you didn't deserve to take any abuse from anyone no matter what.

It was quite a surprise when a friday afternoon like any other, you and Corey went to the supermarket to pick some things up for dinner and after paying and leaving, you ran into your pathetic looking ex boyfriend in the parking lot.

He wasted no time to approach you, almost as if he was waiting for you, he immediately started to tell you "how surprised he was to see you doing so good, even tho you were dating the towns weirdo".

That was enough for you to slap him as hard as you could just before telling him to fuck off and get away from you. Corey was surprised and also very proud.

But Corey was also very angry at your ex for even showing up, who does he think he is trying to come after you? He had his chance and wasted it, he hurt you and the memories of the things he has said and done to you haunted you to this day.

In Corey's eyes, your ex didn't even deserve to breath the same air as you, and he would make sure your ex won't do so ever again.

Once you two made it home safe, Corey put the groceries away and then went to sit with you at the couch.

"Are you okay? Do you wanna talk about it?" He said with a comforting tone putting his hand on your back and caressing it.

"Its fine, I'm just..." You started to answer and paused halfway trough to sort out your thoughts. "I didn't expect him to come back, how did he know where to find me and what does he want?"

"I don't know the answer to any of those questions but I promise that he won't hurt you ever again." Corey said putting his hands on your shoulders and then pulling you in for a hug as he started to plan what he will do to that waste of a human that was your ex.

You smiled with your head on his chest and pulled apart only to kiss him, he gladly kissed back and after a few minutes you two broke apart.

"I'm gonna go get dinner started okay?" You said looking at him with a smiled while holding his hand.

He nodded and kissed your forehead, after you went into the kitchen he went to your shared bedroom and changed into much older and used clothes. He didn't want to get his usual clothes dirty with that pig's blood.

After changing he went to the kitchen and told you his step-father texted and asked him if he could go help him out with an important last minute job and that he would be back before dinner was ready. You nodded and told him to go. He told you to call him right away if anything happened.

Corey got on his motorcycle and started driving around, honestly he had no idea where you ex could be but luckily he found him.

Your ex was in a dark and abandoned alley next to a nightclub with poor security if any. Corey got off his bike with a hand on his pocket where he had a knife.

"And what are you doing here? Kids preschool is on the other side of town and is closed by now, champ." He said trying to push Corey's buttons.

Which he didn't need to, Corey already hated him. "Very funny." Corey answered with a blank expression.

"I see her taste became worse after me." Your ex said and proceeded to laugh closing his eyes throwing his head back, Corey took the opportunity to take the pocket knife out and stab him on the neck.

He fell to the ground with a shocked, desperate and scared look on his eyes, trying to scream for help. But instead of his voice, only blood came out.

Corey got on top him and stabbed him again repeatedly. "I don't know why you came here, but that was the last time you will ever bother her again." He said with an agitated voice.

After he made sure your ex died he got up and took off his jacket and then shirt, thankfully the jacket didn't get too dirty, the blood stains were barely noticeable. He took off his shirt and put it on inside out so you wouldn't see the blood and then put on the jacket.

Before heading home, he stopped at the gas station, went to the bathroom to wash his bloodstained hands and then bought your favorite ice-cream.

"I'm back!" He said with a cheerful tone and went into the kitchen where you were finishing dinner. "I bought dessert." He said after kissing you.

"Really!? My favorite!?" You said excited after seeing the ice-cream and hugged him. He giggled and hugged you back just to put the ice-cream away after.

"I will go take a shower before dinner is ready okay? Do you need help with anything? " He asked.

"No, it's fine, go take a shower." You answered with a warm smile.

Usually the metallic smell was normal when Corey came back from work, tonight seemed a little different but you tried to brush it off. I mean what else could your lovely and caring boyfriend be doing at this time of the night?

[doomednarrative]

Leon, I have been seeing your posts for the past, like, week, and I just cannot piece together what donbros actually is. The plot, the setting, the characters, the story. Please, enlighten me. And feel free to include as much detail and personal opinion as you want

See thats the thing!!! The plot is ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!

Avataro Sentai Donbrothers breaks a Lot of regular sentai rules. Usually sentai shows have a pretty clear plotline and enemies and goals to achieve and are more kinda Drama focused. Donbrothers is instead a slice of life/sitcom style sentai, so while it Has a plot, it's a lot more lose and it plays fast with it. It has the pacing of like either one really slow episode or 5 episodes in one and you never know what it's going to be like episode to episode. It's literally been described as the "It's Always Sunny" of Sentai and that really is the best way to describe it.

But if you would like to know the actual plot is up to what I know of it (I'm on episode 33 of 50 atm) then I'd be more than happy to explain

I'm putting this under a read more it got Very long, buckle up :)

The basics is that you're following the story of Taro Momoi, one of the last surviving members of the Don Clan. He and the rest of the Donbrothers (who I'll get to) are at odds with the Noto, the members of a realm called Ideon. The Noto are...well! Tbh I'm not entirely sure right now, this show deals out its lore in bits and pieces, but they're a race of higher beings basically who live separate from humans and without the imperfections of humanity, mainly the imperfection of Desire. It's something that they actively shun.

The reason that they shun it is that the Noto need humanity's brainwaves to survive, it's what sustains Ideon basically, and when humans become too full of their desires, they can turn into Hitotsuki. The Hitotsuki are monsters of pure desire, and their very existance disrupts the peace of Ideon and those human brainwaves that they need, so they go out of their way to destroy them.

The problem is that the way the Noto destroy Hitotsuki also destroys the human that they originally were, essentially killing them by locking their soul away in an alternate dimension.

This is where the Donbrothers come in. Their whole purpose is to fight the Hitotsuki with their method that eventually turns them Back into humans and lets them retain their life, and usually solves whatever problem corrupted them in the first place. So they're fundamentally at odds with the Noto and their way of doing things because they don't want to kill people in the process of getting rid of Hitotsuki.

And SPEAKING OF THE DONBROTHERS

This team. This team that fights monsters. Is made up of the weirdest lineup ever and I love all of them so much, they're such a weird family and they actively all think that they're the most normal person in the room at any given time while not realizing they're just as weird as the others.

From left to right here in this pic, we have:

Shinichi Saruhara - Guy who is 21 and lives the wabi sabi lifestyle. He's never had a job, presumably doesn't pay taxes, and is actively allergic to money and can't touch it or it'll burn him. He speaks in haikus half the time and has earned the nickname of Professor without having any schooling. He's the blue sentai ranger, Sarubrother.

Tsuyoshi Kijino - 33 year old office worker who is a complete wife guy, like obsessed with his wife to an insane degree. He's pathetic, this site would babygirl him so much if this show was bigger on here. He's also canonically let a guy be murdered by the Noto for fucking with his wife and has turned into a Hitotsuki TWICE because of his desire to see his wife being so huge. He's the pink ranger, Kijibrother.

Taro Momoi - Leader of the Donbrothers as the red ranger Don Momotaro. Taro is 21, he's a deliveryman who delivers good fortune/good deeds as well as packages, and he's literally so perfect at everything that he does that he had an entire village protest against him when he was a child and leave him and his dad to live there alone. Being perfect at things makes him a bit rude at times. He literally cannot lie or it will kill him and I mean that 100% seriously it's happened multiple times in canon.

Haruka Kito - Haruka is a manga artist who after her first big break into the manga world had her entire life fall apart after being falsely accused of plagiarizing her work. She views everything in life as a chance to get manga inspiration and this has led to her letting herself be held hostage for a chance at getting life experience. She's incredibly angry and violent at times and is usually the viewpoint character for most of the series. She's the yellow ranger, Oni Sister.

Tsubasa Inuzuka - Tsubasa, similar to Haruka, has been falsely accused of committing some sort of crime and is actively a fugitive of the law because of it. Everything he does is with the motivation to hopefully see his fiance Natsumi again who he lost a year ago. Incidentally, Natsumi looks Exactly like Tsuyoshi's wife Miho, and so there's a lot of fuckshit going on there. Tsubasa is also canonically a dogboy and cannot get rid of this image for himself. He's the black ranger, Inubrother.

There's also another member who comes in later down the line named Jirou Momotani who is meant to be Taro's successor, but he's his own can of worms while also being my fuckin son. Jirou is both the gold and silver rangers Don Doragoku and Don Torabolt respectively.

And I can't introduce the Donbrothers without introducing their Noto trio counterparts now can I?

From left to right we have:

Sonoza - Sonoza is obsessed with wanting to understand human emotions and why things make them feel the ways they do. This leads to him going up to people and asking them if he's laughing or crying correctly, and then eventually after picking up a copy of Haruka's manga and feeling the full range of emotions from reading it himself, becoming her editor to oversee her making a sequel that makes him feel just as excited as her first manga did.

Sonoi - He's not really the leader of the trio seeing as they're all equals in combat, but the other two do seem to kinda follow his lead a lot of the time. Sonoi is fascinated with human art, thinking that it's existance is the way that humans express their inperfections, and it frusterates him that he hasn't figured out how to make his own art due to this separation from humans. Sonoi becomes fascinated with Taro when they first cross paths before finding out each others true identity, thinking that Taro is someone the world needs more of due to his honest nature and the way he leads his life trying to help others. This fascination still continues even after finding out that they're fated to be rivals, and I mean this 100% seriously when I say that the affections they both share for each other isn't even subtext, it's just plain text (they literally have the first red ranger and villain duet song in the history of the entire franchise), and it ends up changing the course of the entire narrative for both Sonoi and Taro and the rest of their teams. It's insane how much those two matter to each other and what impact that has on the story.

Sononi - Sononi finds herself interested in love itself, the concept of it and how it makes people feel and why it motivates them to do what they do in the name of it. She gets particularly interested in Tsubasa's whole affair and likes to watch both from afar and not so far what's happening with that soap opera level drama. She has the coolest weapon of the entire show, that being a bow that can turn into duel wielded daggers or a bigger blade by itself.

The Noto trio are very interesting because despite seemingly shunning humanity and it's desires, they each find themselves utterly fascinated with a member of the Donbrothers and an aspect of humanity that ultimately sets them apart from the rest of their people and it leads to some very interesting story moments. I love them all so so so much.

But yeah! That's the Basics of Donbrothers as I know it right now. There's other plotlines going on as well but seeing as I only have pieces for them yet I can't really explain them here. Hopefully you can understand my crazed posting a little bit more after all of this though :)

[cambrian-creature]

Hello, and welcome to M*A*S*H enjoyers anonymous

Now tell us, why are you here?

(basically just a free space to talk/infodump, be free my sweet cheese)

Oooooh boy.

MASH is a show about war, but also mostly it's about people and how people react under stress. Something to note is that it's about the Korean War, but it's actually about the Vietnam War.

It's got its issues, definitely. It's not particularly respectful to Korean people despite being set in Korea. But it was the 70s so like. Idk, can't expect much. There's a lot to unpack in the way of imperialism. The show is very anti-war, but mostly focused on the Americans, which is pretty damn reductive if you ask me. There is also the misogyny and if one more person calls Major Margaret Houllihan "hot lips" I am going to throw hands. I'm not making excuses for any of this, but it's an old ass show and you can't get too hung up on it. ANYWAY, you asked about the good stuff.

The main character, Hawkeye, is this. Unhinged, sleep deprived, alcoholic surgeon who's just. Unreasonably good at his job. Despite the Horrors of War, he's still one of the kindest, most lovable people, and he only put Frank in a shipping crate one time, so it's fine. And the blood he stole was for a good cause. As was the money he stole and the one time he gaslit a guy into thinking he'd lost his mind. All for a good cause. He's so cool, he's a menace, he's a slut, he's deeply psychologically damaged, he's a little silly, he invented the principle behind Goncharov, he's even bisexual.

Hawkeye's best friend and roommate is Trapper John, fellow manwhore and prankster extraordinaire. He always makes me a little sad cause I think he's Hawkeye's best friend and Hawkeye isn't his best friend? To him, it's all temporary, and he'll get out of Korea and go back to his wife and kids and probably try to not think about any of it ever again, but Hawk's such a ride or die friend, and he depends so much on not being alone and. Fuck, man. He's just like me for real. No shit, I realized this a couple years ago, and it sent me into this huge spiral of wondering if my friends love me as much as I love them and it lasted like. Years. And then I did that thing people do where they tell other people about their feelings? Which was weird. But it was also cool and now I do not worry about that as much anymore. A little bit, because the fears never cease, but y'know. It's cool. Apparently I am also sad and lonely because I am FULLY spilling my guts here lmao. Don't read that. Fuck whatever BJ has going on, THIS is the Trapper Complex.

Also Trapper leaves like three seasons in and is replaced by Blow Job Hunnicut, who keeps saying shit like "man, I bet you sure had fun with Trapper, huh" and "boy this must be just like the good ol days with Trapper" like we get it, you're jealous. He's also deeply psychologically damaged. I don't like him so much, but I also haven't seen a lot of him yet so I guess we'll see.

Okay, now MARGARET. She's amazing. She's cool and fascinating and ALSO deeply psychologically damaged! She's a strong woman in the 50s, she's so angry all the time, she just wants some goddamn respect and also someone to hang out with her to do manicures. She has this fascinating mix of wanting to be feminine and pretty but also needing to be masculine and angry to get respect. She's a hardass, she's obsessed with the rules, she's so mad at everything all the time because she has so little control over her situation, she's just like my mother and I love her so much. She could do any man's job in that camp so much better. I like to think after the war she goes back to medical school and becomes a doctor and gets some GODDAMN RESPECT.

Also she's dating (she dumps him don't worry) this absolute schlub Frank who is. A garbage human being. He's so pathetic and funny but also like genuinely terrible and canonically homophobic. If he were in modern times he would vote for Trump. He's Mr. Patriot. He's the Yankee Doodle Doctor. He's a shit doctor. He's so funny to watch cause everyone around him is so funny and witty and good at snappy comebacks and he says shit like "ohhhh you- you- guys!! >:(" Like yeah Frank. Get em. Don't hold back. He's a real "why I oughta-" kinda guy. Apparently the actor got so much hate mail he quit the show which is honestly so mean and tragic because Frank is such a fun character. I want to watch him fail again and again and again and then cause more problems. He could call me a slur in a Walmart parking lot and I'd just laugh at him and ask him if his wife knows about his girlfriend. She doesn't.

When Frank left, he got replaced by this other guy and I have no idea what his deal is. My apologies to Charles Emerson Winchester III. People like him I guess. He seems boring next to Frank tbh.

Now lemme tell ya about Klinger. Actually lemme show you.

He's beautiful. Gorgeous. Show stopping. He started out as a bit character and the joke was that he was trying to get a section 8 discharge (sent home on the grounds of being mentally unfit to serve), but everyone loved him so much that he became a recurring character and the outfits kept getting better and it went from "haha man in a dress" to "he's a genuinely deep character and this is his coping mechanism and he is so afraid of this war. Also he's the hottest guy around and everyone knows it. Even the priest wants him carnally." Genuinely the best fucking guy. In the early seasons, the laugh track goes off every time he enters a room and it makes me so mad. Take his whimsical ass seriously.

Also I mentioned there's a priest. I'm not sure why they have a priest, but I think that was just a thing in the 50s. He's got too many names. You can find him currently in the Catholic Characters Tournament and it's funny cause the person who runs that keeps getting his names out of order. It's John Patrick Francis Mulcahy, cause they gave him one name in the movie and then changed it in the show like twice at least so. Four names. Anyway, he's the only priest I trust. He literally just wants to help people and he has no way of knowing that he's doing any real good so he wants recognition for his efforts but that goes against what he's meant to be doing, he's meant to be completely selfless, but he wants to know that he's at least doing something, otherwise what's the point. What's the point of everything he's worked for. What's the point of devoting his life to this. To these people and to his god and to being a good person. Because if he thinks of himself, if he wants anything for himself, does that not mean he's selfish? And that's bad, he can't be selfish, but he is because everyone is, that's just human nature to want to know the results of your work. Also he's convinced he's the second coming of Christ or some shit. I can't fully explain this one, but he really does think he's like. God's special little boy. Which is kinda fair, cause he gives fucking EVERYTHING to these people, to the doctors, to the soldiers, even to the enemy, because he just wants people to be okay. He wants people to stop fighting and to heal and to love one another. And he also wants someone to tell him he's doing a good job and that he's making a difference and he wouldn't believe them but it would be something. Also he wants to punch people sometimes. All the time. He could kick anyone's ass in single combat. I love him.

Am I missing anything.

RADAR!!!!! They put a child in a warzone but luckily he is hyper-competent and literally psychic. He makes me sad because he is 19 years old and he has a teddy bear and he is short and angry and eats a lot because he's a growing boy and everyone makes fun of him for having teenager behavior when he is!!!! A teenager!!!! He graduated highschool yesterday!!!!! He's the same age as me and he's in a warzone!!!!!! Get him out of there!!!!! Put him in college and let him work a boring ass fast food job like a normal teenager!!!!! And stop laughing at him for having a teddy bear!!!!!!! He's not even that short, it's just that all the guys in this show are at least 6 feet tall. Anyway, he basically runs the camp because Henry is fucking incompetent (affectionate) so yeah. This child is their commanding officer and the only one anyone respects.

Their actual commanding officer is Henry Blake. He just wants to go home and see his wife and kids again and go fishing and chill the fuck out. He's a good surgeon but genuinely a pathetic army man. But also I love him so much cause listen. He could just fuck off. We see another guy in his same rank and position who just hangs out in Tokyo the whole time making money off this shit. So despite being very afraid all the time, Henry sticks around in a shitty camp 3 miles from the front to patch up kids full of lead. He stays not out of any duty to the army, but a duty to his patients and his people, because he's a good person and a good doctor and genuinely one of the bravest people around. He could've been a coward and hid, but he stayed and he helped people and even though he knew the risks, it just never occurred to him that he could abandon his people to do it all without him. He stayed and he died and he never saw his wife and kids again and he never met his newborn son. He tells his oldest son over the phone to be good while he's gone, to stay strong and keep everything running until he comes back, and he never comes back. I am genuinely crying. Fuck. I hope he's catching the best fish at the big lake in the sky.

Anyway. I'm gonna stop before this gets out of hand. More than it has.

[divinemackerel]

🎀 , 🕯 , and 🔗

[ask game]

🎀 - What’s a character you like writing for and why?

🕯 - Share a scene in your latest WIP

🔗 - What has been your favorite dynamic to write for? (romantic or platonic)

WIP first for sake of organization then the other questions.

🕯:

Unsurprisingly, coming back to life is almost as painful as losing it, though maybe not in the way you’d expect.

You don’t feel your old aches and wounds upon coming back to life, your blood reforming and your skin and fascia and organs untearing, but you do feel every atom of your being slowly come back together. Your body reknitting itself after what must be years of rot, and your wounds stitching closed starting with the lowest molecular level, all of it somehow all alight with new nerves.

You don’t feel the pain of your death but something far fresher and excruciating.

Wilbur had tried to scream, but he hadn’t had full control over himself yet, not really, so he pathetically writhed instead, cold stone feeling like it was trying to eat him as his lungs sputtered to life.

As he spluttered to life, an outdated piece of hardware, an old computer, melting its components due to a long failed fan.

In some ways, realizing he was alive was world altering, like learning the gifts under your tree actually came from your parents and not some old man up even further north, but in another way it was as stale as looking up and seeing the sky was blue.

🎀 :

Ok I haven’t posted any of my x-men fanfiction, but tbh I have the most fun writing when writing about Charles Xavier and Erik, especially when they’re on good terms, especially from the prequel-ish times. They’re such fun characters and they’re so human and such a good balance of pain and intrigue, I love writing them.

They’re really human in the movies and trying to capture that is a fun exercise in my skill as a writer.

I also enjoy writing dsmp characters like cWilbur but I ADORE writing about the X-Men.

cWilbur though I enjoy writing because of his- it’s not amateur but it’s a different kind if depth. He is a mess of a man in a way both Charles and Erik skew away from. Wilbur is honest to god pathetic, and sad, and his struggles at least to me feel very unique.

He isn’t funny necessarily or deep or profound or even sometimes fully believimh in what he’s doing, but he’s so desperate to do something, to be alive, to change, i love him.

I also of course love writing about my own characters! Though it will probably be a long time before i talk about or post any of that….

🔗:

Unsurprising here but, Sootbur. Platonic or romantic, I love exploring the different characters, especially with DSMPburs. They’re all just fun in general though!

Once again too, I also absolutely adore writing Erik and Charles.

[jumpscaregoose]

I finished the Shaman King again

loserbrain thoughts under cut because it's me and shaman king and I am very Normal about it (also spoilers duh but you probably already know them all)

so ya boi rewatched shaman king this past month or so.

realized I'd never actually done that (I'd rewatched it with friends or went through my favourite episodes but I'd never went through it again start to finish). I told myself no skipsies but I broke that rule almost immediately and I did skip some parts (sorry episode eight you're just boring to me).

anyways my general thoughts

I appreciate this silly little ghost show more every time I watch it it's just really good. my enjoyment has not decreased in the slightest. found myself understanding some parts I thought were lackluster before because for like a year I was a dumbass and didn't get that It's a Metaphor, You Idiot. the text literally spells out "this is a metaphor for a person's mindset and strength of will" like every 3 seconds and I just. ignored it I guess??? turns out a lot of stuff makes more sense if you look at it less like smashing two action figures together and more as mushy brain stuff. who could have ever possibly guessed that (not past me). thought it was overall very very good and its lackluster parts (random aliens a la midichlorians I'm looking at you) were made up for by its great parts (basically everything else).

went into the last episode to try and iron out my thoughts on the ending (went from hating it on my first watch to tolerating it on subsequent watches) and I think it is consistently decent. could have used some more episodes and is just really confusing if you're not a pathetic loser nerd who can Well Actually it. I like it a lil bit. thought I'd reconciled my feelings about renmei to "my god that could have been so good we were ROBBED if they'd explained how this HAPPENED it would have been SO GOOD" but now it's "the same thing as before except I'm angry and yelling now" because it's true renmei could have been great and I mourn the loss of that every day. episode 51 remains the best episode (despite the midichlorian aliens) purely for the hao awakening scene. episode 50 is fun because major character revelation 2 episodes before the end and I think that's Neat (affectionate).

telling you all that one time a while back I watched the Bear Episode and wanted to fact check if there would actually be bears there and I asked my friends who live in Colorado and they thought I didn't think bears lived in Colorado.

FINALLY figured out all the symbolism behind the training in hell arc. have had a theory that the scenery represented Funky Brain Stuff™ but just. couldn't. understand. joco's part. sat down and thought about it for a bit and realized I forgot that the themes of Dante's Divine Comedy (Rodin's Gates of Hell is there and all) where the same as those happening for that part of the story and focused on the floating islands for eight months like an idiot. should probably make another post with my interpretations of hell stuff because I'm fairly confident I get it and also it's cool.

appreciate hao even more after this rewatch he's an excellent antagonist and also my precious meow meow. will not elaborate go read this.

ost does funky stuff with leitmotif sometimes but also I like it

generally forgot that I actually like quite a bit of early shaman king. my brain defaulted to episode six is fantastic and forgot about the rest. it's very nostalgic to me which is weird because I first watched it last year but it's true don't fight me I'll win.

top ten episodes for me are 51, 40, 6, 15, 45, 9, 50, 47, 27, 2 (most favourite first, with no bias towards anyone at ALL).

shaman king really good me really likey

might actually watch the 2001 version if pleaded with (it is my archnemesis)

[spacebarbarianweird]

Here's an idea. Tiriel and Astarion are having a redo of the graveyard scene decades later, maybe on the anniversary of certain fateful day when he started living again? But this time it's more about her feeling things And reflecting and she would be thé one taking the initiative.

What we were, what we are

Summary: Tiriel and Astarion have a re-do of the graveyard date to celebrate their 100th Anniversary

Pairing: Astarion x OC (Tiriel)

Tags: fluff, post-game, smut

Thanks @themadlu for beta-reading!

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons

Alethaine is mentioned but not present - she is the High Necromancer of Cormyr these years. She is 80 years-old

Baldur’s Gate, 1492 DR 

A guttural cry rings through the camp making Shadowheart shudder.

At first, she thinks someone is attacking them but then realizes that screams are coming from the camp itself.

Then, the cries stop.

Tiriel, the leader of their weird group leaves the tent that used to host only the vampire and sits in front of the fire.

Blood seeps from the fresh bite mark on her neck.

“Shar, what did I do to deserve this,” Shadowheart hands Tiriel healing ointment and the other half-elf applies it on her wounded skin.

“Is it Astarion?” She asks.

Tiriel nods. “It's good that he finally starts screaming.”

“Not the answer I expected.”

“He cries in silence, Shadowheart. Curls on his bedroll and cries making no sound. And he also rips his skin off. Digs his nails so deep he can reach for the bone. And after it slowly regenerates, he does it again.

“Now screams sound much better.”

Tiriel nods and then smiles, noticing Atsariin leaving the tent. The vampire stands away from the camp swaying side by side but not approaching the fire.

“Tiriel… can I?

Tiriel nods and Shadowheart watches them holding hands. 

They both smile like idiots.

**

Baldur’s Gate, 1592 DR 

Astarion barely recognizes the city he once knew so well.

Half of the lower town was submerged into the sea, and the Chiontar River flooded the center of the city.  

Only the Black and the Wide Gates remain untouched and no matter how hard Astarion tries to spot the ruins of Cazador’s mansion, he can’t see any sign of the former vampire’s lair.

Well, it may be because Astarion burned it to ashes a century ago, but still.

Almost all residents have left the city. The Gate, the new town founded by the upper class, now towers from behind Dushawk Hill, but even at its best, the new city is much more depressing than Baldur’s Gate has ever been at its worst.

The urban creation of Balduran, an adventurer turned pathetic Mindflayer, is now dying, slowly eaten by the greedy river.

Astarion smiles.

Oh, how many times he dreamt of this city being destroyed!

Bburned, drowned, cursed. 

But now… Astarion feels nothing.

A century later all this doesn’t even make sense anymore. The city is gone but so is his sorrow.

The Astarion who was stalking those streets and the Astarion who now watches them disappear while sitting on the roof of the High Hall are two different creatures. 

He approaches the edge of the building  and jumps on the roof of the Vanthamur Vila.

He has been there before.

Catching victims. Finding clients. Dreaming of salvation.

He moves further away and closer to the water. Manor Gate and Gond Gate both sank into the river but Astarion knows this place.

This is where the Illithids took him.

He remembers seeing the city under attack and opening his arms waiting for final death. And at the same very moment, a red-haired half-elf was trying to escape from the mind flayers.

Maybe he even saw her in the crowds.

Tiriel, with her funny tattoo on lips and hair that are actually much longer than they seem. 

Tiriel, with her kind heart and fierce nature. 

She was a means to an end, his chance at freedom – but Astarion fell for her so hard she consumed his every thought.

Astarion smiles and catches the familiar scent of the wind.

Now thatthe ruins of Baldur’s Gate smell like open sea and dirt, it’s easy for him to spot his darling.

**

1493, Baldur’s Gate

Astarion watches Tiriel talk to Jaheira. The elderly half-elf jokes about something and Tiriel looks like an embarrassed teen who has been asked a too-personal question about her life.

His past is slowly becoming a distant nightmare and he is confident he can take whatever the future holds for him. 

Astarion can make it because he isn’t alone.

As he approaches the water, he notices Shadowheart holding a goblet of wine.

“So, how is our cleric of Selune doing?” Astarion approaches her. “You know, silver hair suits you best, Shadowheart.”

“It’s Jenevelle. Jenevelle Hallowleaf,” she corrects him. “You aren’t the only one who wants to forget the awful past”

“So, how is Jenevelle doing?” Astarion smiles at her.

She shrugs. “My father and I are trying to reconcile. I barely remember him and he’s trying to move on. Forty years is a long time to spend in Shar’s dungeons even for someone who is three hundred years old. And,” Jenevelle turns away, “my mother died three months ago. She was old and her body didn’t recover from… what she’d been through.” The cleric takes a sip. “I don’t feel anything about it. Maybe I have been broken by the Sharrans, after all.”

“I think you are just too tired,” Astarion says, feeling like an idiot. Somehow, things that don’t involve seduction have a tendency to get weird. “Speaking of which…”

“Let me guess. You bit Tiriel too hard?”

“I learned to control myself! Well… You see… We came here through the Underdark and she didn’t have much sleep. And… This place… I am afraid I am having a setback. And if I am , I will not let her sleep.”

“Maybe you could stay in a different tent?”

“Nonsense, our fierce leader is so sensitive she will think I want to break up. I need something to soothe my nerves, that’s all.”

“Very well, let me think.”

Astarion grins. “Thank you, my friend. I won’t forget it!”

**

1592 DR

For some reason, the old graveyard is still there, barely touched by water and destruction.

Tiriel sits in front of the familiar tombstone. She’s barely changed since they met a century ago, though Astarion notices the signs of life’s autumn in her. 

Some hair whiten, a few wrinkles appear. Bite marks bleed a bit longer. 

“Hello, darling. What brought you to this dark place?” he says.

Tiriel jumps on her feet. She wears leather armor that highlights her athletic body.

“Oh I’ve been… walking around.”

“And ended up at my grave.”

“Yes,” she kisses him. “You know, Alethaine told me she came here when she was twenty-five. And also fought with someone in the ruins of the vampire mansion.”

“Typical Alethaine. I just hope she doesn’t know what we did in this graveyard,” Astarion slaps Tiriel’s butt and she laughs.

“Alethaine would think we are gross.” Tiriel sits back on the ground. “How do you think she’s doing? I mean, Cormyr is literally on the other side of the Western Heartlands. And there are no elves or half-elves around there.”

“I think a High Necromancer who also happens to be a boy-king’s right hand can protect herself. Don’t worry about her, she is a big girl and is doing alright!”

“Sometimes, I measure things in human magnitudes and can’t believe she is eighty and still so young. And other times, I measure things in elven magnitude and consider her a baby.”

“Measure it like an elf. Alethaine is a literal child who is only approaching adulthood. She will have it all, darling. Whatever she wants.”

Tiriel squeezes his hand. “Thank you, Astarion.”

“For what?”

“For everything. Listen, a century ago you brought me here and told me all these things I didn't even hope to hear from you. That you love me. That you want us to keep going. That we both did the right thing. And now … I want to say the same. Thank you. Thank you for these ten decades.”

Astarion shakes his head. “You thank me? Listen, it’s not you who is an undead, who has to hide in the shadows and used to have nightmares and meltdowns.”

“I am rude. Reckless. A walking embodiment of someone wild and uncomfortable. People say about women like me that we don’t deserve to be loved should we prefer men. Girls can fall for my type, men obviously can’t. And you didn't try to change me, to fit in your dreams. You accepted me. You took me. You… love me and sometimes I watch you trancing and can’t believe you are still there, for me.”

Astarion takes her hand. “Tiriel, honestly, I was afraid you would dump me for someone else. ”

“For whom? No one is like you. You saved me from loneliness, from bitterness, from my own nightmares, from…the lack of purpose.”

Astarion touches her freckled cheek. This impossible woman still drives him crazy.

She touches his left earlobe and now that she is close he can smell her arousal.

“So, you wanted sex but decided to lure me back to the graveyard?” He chuckles.

“Hm, I thought that a one-century anniversary is worth something interesting,” Tiriel leans into him, forcing Astarion to lie on his back. Tiriel is now on top, kissing him and playing with his ears.

The tugging feeling in his trousers is now unbearable.

He reaches out for the laces to set himself free, but Tiriel grabs his wrists and pins Astarion to the ground.

Astarion gives up and allows Tiriel to do what she wants. The funniest part about their relationship is that in rage Tiriel is as strong as him, a vampire. And when she is horny… it’s the same as when she rages.

She sticks her right hand into his trousers and squeezes his cock, moving her palm up and down a few times to make it hard.

Suddenly, she stops.

Astarion elbows up a bit. “Darling, keep moving.”

Tiriel smiles innocently. “Love, what do you want me to do?”

“I want you… Fuck… I want you to ride me.”

Tiriel places her palm on his chest. “Then sit back and watch.”

The half-elf slowly takes off the armor. Then her shirt. Her nipples immediately harden and Astarion adores the stretch marks on her belly – the distant reminder of her pregnancy. 

“You know, I can always try to fuck another child into you.” He licks his lips.

“I was thinking about having you all to myself till the end,” Tiriel unlaces her trousers.

Her pubic hair is as red as her hair and her legs are covered with the same freckles as the rest of her skin.

“Do you know why elves often prefer half-elves as their mates?” Astarion says.

“Why?”

“Because your kind has the sexiest human features. Hair down there, bigger bottoms.”

“I think the same works for human men, they adore the elven features in us.”

“Then I am surprised you were single when we met.” 

“I was just waiting for you,” Tiriel leans into him and pulls off his shirt. When she touches his right nipple with her tongue Astarion lets out a moan. “You are beautiful.”

Now her hands are on his trousers again. Astarion can’t wait anymore and helps Tiriel to get rid of their clothes faster.

She straddles his hips and soon they become one.

Tiriel rolls her hips and presses her hands on his chest. 

“I love you,” she whispers.

Astarion barely manages to say anything because by now his world has shrunk to his own arousal and the woman on top of him. 

She is hot like fire.

Tiriel’s movements become faster and rougher, an orange glow in her irises.

Well, probably the reason why Asarion is her partner is that other men wouldn’t be able to handle Tiriel when she is like this.

Astarion grabs her hips forcing her to squeeze him tighter. Tiriel doesn’t restrain herself, she moans and whimpers.

Orgasm comes much faster than Astarion hoped for. His eyesight gets blurry and for a moment there is nothing but a wave of pleasure.

Tiriel makes a few more movements before collapsing on him.

Astarion strokes her back.

“Do you think anyone saw us?”

“Now or a century ago?”

“Both.”

“I am sure right now there is no one,” Astarion kisses her sweaty forehead. “I am more concerned about the lack of taverns here.”

“Why?”

He gently slaps her buttcheek.

“Because a century ago we took a bath together after making love. You looked like a gravedigger!”

Tiriel kisses him. Her kiss is deliciously sweet.

“Hm… And I remember you crying in the tub.”

Astarion lets out a laugh. Yes, he did cry. He cried because he didn’t know sex was something more than just … fucking. That it also involves aftercare and, gods, he felt alive when Tiriel washed his hair, rubbed his skin and kissed him.

“I think we can find something in the Gate,” she suggests finally getting off him. “It’s fucking cold here.”

After helping Tiriel dress, Astarion spots a dry path back to the street, grabs her and places her on his shoulder. 

“So, darling, you just need to tell me what you want,” Astarion says.

“And what do you want?”

“No-no, your turn to decide.”

Tiriel contemplates for a while. “I want something sweet and hot. And also a bath.”

“Then let’s go to see if the Gate is truly a mere shadow of what it was before!”

--

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[pinkadork]

One day words will stop being exchanged and knowing you're more likely to be relieved than devastated or even a bit bummed is sending me

Like okay

Pause for a minute

Lets be real my tumblr page is like my public diary or whatever and like

Idk i look at shit and its sad how much through the entirety of this shit therapy or not ive been trying to see more than my side and be able to see my faults for what they are while also doing something about it but i swear im either villaianized or pacified by you in any given moment and then its like im both a dumb ass for wanting you so badly was and i feel like my feelings get overshadowed bc the bpd and oooh i take meds now, and you still treat me like like an abuser and thats what you tell people. And i just wanna stop feeling like I'll never be able to enjoy anything fr ever again. Even at my best i still have you on my brain when it feels like you're doing everything to erase me and then make me feel like thats the right response. I fucking hate this shit so much its like i sit here and I'm fine and then i keep fucking setting myself off with how upset this makes me. Like nigga i live in my aunt basement, i work in a fucking factory, im a fucking temp worker nigga , and yet and still my stupid ass is worried about who? Trying to figure out how to get right for who? Pathetic as shit.

I know you wouldn't do the same bc you didnt.

I'm so frustrated. it's unbelievable. I keep wrapping my head around how bs this all is, or how i swallowed how angry certain shit has had me.

Again nigga its been months and i know for a fact the same shit is being peddled.

You doing your thing is whatever but doing so and then trying to undermine the fact that itd hurt me (which you later admitted to trying to do anyway) nigga fucked someone then was like "i mean we broke up like 6 months ago so i did good right lol" fucking first of all at 6 months vs 5 years make it make sense, second of all it let me realize that the second time we tried when shit felt "so right" mesnt nothing to this nigga it was a good two months which for me made the breakup reset and st the time this happend made this like 4 months but as you can see by me writing this out who the fuck other than me cares about some weird shit like that. Regardless its like i have to be either high as hell or always working now more thsn ever to not walk into the very accessible highway.

I accepted that i ruined my life but holy fuck did you make it worse

I am forever sorry about how shit ended and every rude outburst ever spouted from my lips, any time i made you feel any negative way, but my brother in christ i didn't and dont deserve this shit and sometimes it really bothers me that i love you the way i do. You act scared of me like im obsessed but i feel like im going mad bc it was like you made me this way. From jump, the constant vc, the way youd make me feel insignificant or like i wasnt enough, and then have the nerve to try and make it a thing about my insecurities that yes i told you about but fuck.

I feel so dumb because i actually would wait until you're ready because i feel deep in my core that i fw you for life type shit. Its always gang shit whatever. I love you and want things to be okay regardless to how i feel .

Fuck im tired

[nickgerlich]

Hit The Road, Jack

One of the funniest SNL skits ever featured the late Chris Farley, in his role as motivational speaker Matt Foley. In typical SNL style, Mr. Foley was a caricature of himself in real life, and the antithesis of motivation. This became pathetically true when he kept telling his subjects—I mean listeners—that he lived in a van down by the river. The popular 1993 skit featured a very young David Spade and Christina Applegate as his unfortunate victims.

But that was a time when doing such meant you were hardly a success. Your van was all you could afford, and parking in a free place fit the budget well. It was likely the evolution of Woodstock-era hippie life, when the VW van became synonymous with the counter-culture of the day.

Skip forward to the present, though, and we see living in a van—or Van Life, as it is known—now a glamorized nomadic lifestyle. It was captured in book and film in Nomadland, although in that particular setting it was typically older, retired persons who chose that way of life, sometimes out of necessity, but other times for freedom. The story line focused on people who migrate like birds from the northland, descending on BLM land in the desert where they can dry camp for months at no charge.

Others, though, have taken to the road in rigs that cost far more than $100K. They’re downsized RVs that can be driven through town, parked, and lived in. It started with Mercedes Sprinter vans, and quickly evolved into Dodge’s versions of the same, as well as Ford Transits of varying sizes and Nissan’s varietal. But now Ford has taken the Transit to the next logical step by introducing the Ford Transit Trail Van, a lifted version of its popular tall van that can venture much farther off-road than its cousin.

With a base price of $66K, it can be tricked out by third-party aftermarket customizers who can add beds, captain’s seats, electronics, bathrooms, and even the kitchen sink. If money is no object, it can be done. It’s a process called “uplifting,” code for “get ready to pay dearly.”

Clearly, these fancy rides are intended for solo travelers, or at most, couples. There’s no room for children. I know a woman my age—a professor at an east coast university—who has a fancy ride like this, and can’t wait for semesters to end so she can hit the road. I have read of two women from Australia who came to the US, rented a base model, quickly outfitted it, and then took off to visit all of the US National Parks in the Lower 48. They lived very cheaply compared to hoteling and dining out.

In a strange twist of fate, Chris Farley was a cousin to Ford CEO Jim Farley, although the latter swears the skit did not influence Ford’s move into this segment. Ohhhh-kaaaaay. It doesn’t matter anyway, because the segment is for real. While it may not be mainstream, it is significant enough now to warrant niche products.

I realize there can be safety concerns, especially when choosing low-budget or no-budget options like the parking lot at Camp Walmart. Rest areas can also be sketchy, and many do not allow overnight parking. If you go the RV park route, though, a night there can easily exceed $50, which kind of puts a damper on the idea of saving a few bucks.

The new model, though, isn’t designed for asphalt or gravel docking. Instead, it is designed to go where your car cannot, deep into the woods or wherever the gullies and ruts make driving tricky. It’s not exactly a Jeep, but then again, Jeeps don’t have room for living either.

Whenever I see rigs like these, my heart skips a beat and I start dreaming. But then the better part of reason sets in, and I remember that I really do like warm showers in my own private room. I’m done with camping. I’m done with RVing. Those were all good years, and I have zero regrets. But I also do not regret my choice to stay in nice hotels today. I’ll just bring one of my bikes along for when I feel nature’s call to hit the trail.

As for Ford, this is a legit move. It feeds a hunger to be outdoors. But don’t come crying to me when you see me laughing as you pull into the Hampton Inn because you too want to sleep on a real bed. That should be all the motivation you need.

Dr “Who Wants To Go On A Road Trip?“ Gerlich

Audio Blog

[thecherrygod]

Oh okay yeah this is a bad time of the year for me and considering it just started kinda and i already feel this bad i am sports concerned how is gonna go for the next .... Few months