#he did grow up in an environment where he had to learn to lie to survive which is extremely unfortunate but i feel as if there-

[mad-hunts]

what chess piece represents you?

the black knight.

you are a black knight, the black sheep, the underdog. as the only piece that can jump over others, you can easily get yourself in and out of situations - always catching people off guard with your charisma and cunning. you move in the shadows, trading information with shady people, getting the upper hand through not always good methods. how far do you think this road can take you? for all your charisma or cunning, lies can only get you so far. one day, that mask you've put on will slip, and you'll be left defenseless. but until then, oh black knight, live like there's no tomorrow - because there might not be.

tagged by: @divingdownthehole.

tagging: @lvebug, @twcfaces, @talentforlying, @forensisch, and anyone else who might like to do this quiz!

[lotus-pear]

Can we stop acting like dazai was the devil. Like yes he did bad things but he was a child. He was 15 alone and in the mafia where althe was told to do was bad things. ALL dazai knew how to do is lie and deceive because it what he's always had to do.it's self preservation. Like??? When will people realize dazai wasn't a monster and was justa child brought up in an Unsafe and abusive environment. Behaviors are learned your aren't born with them. Dazai was a suicidal child just trying to survive all'he knew was manipulation and Iying because that's all he was taught. He abused akutagawa because that's all he was taught. And as he got older it's all he knows how to do. Obviously he's gotten better but he's still morally grey. And that's ok but it's not enough to call him a monster. hes trying so so hard to change, and even if he may not realise it or cling guiltily to his past, the entire prison arc shows how much effort hes put in to become a better person it isnt easy, growing up exposed to death/violence resulting in empathy and apathy issues, all while battling an emptiness inside thats slowly eating up ones will to live. hes genuinely trying to recover from that period of his life, and i cannot express how proud i am solely because of that. hes finally found a healthy environment, a family, and he deserves it along with so much more. he may be deemed as a “monster“ in the past, that cannot be erased, but he hates that part about himself too. being in the good or bad used to make no difference to him, but i strongly believe it does hate that part of him.  Dazai slander are fún and everything - BUT people seem to not get his character right. No, he's not an edgy boy. He genuinely wants to change for the best to make Oda proud, 'BUT HE ABUSED AKUTAGAWA’ , yeah, Akutagawa abused Kyoka and nobody is talking about how its litterally GENERATIONAL TRAUMA. Dazal was never raised correctly, he got raised by Mori and used by him to make him his right hand, maybe because of his ability, or he saw potential in him. He never fell parental Love nor being special to Someone except for Oda. "He LEFT Chuuya!!!“ ok and? Chuuya doesn't need him to live: Dazai LITTERALLY SAW PEOPLE GETTING KILLED/KILLING THEM ON THE DAILEY (AND HE WITNISSED ODAS DEATH - THE ONLY PERSON THAT MADE HIM WANT TO CHANGE.) his eyes at the age of 14, and Mori made him live in a shipping container. Obviously he is not gonna feel human after all this.

And about him and chuuya - the thing is they DO CARE ABOUT EACHOTHER. but nobody seems to care about chuuya other than the fact hes hot asf anf the fact that he is ’super mega gay for dazai 🥺🥺🥺’ because are we reading/watching the same series???? There’s SO MUCH to his character too!!!! But all everyone talks about with him is with dazai, chuuyas character is CRAZY WELL WRITTEN and everyone dumbs it down to ‘he’s an angry short boy with a god inside him and he’s mega gay for dazai and he’s also really hot’ like no - stfu he’s not actually super hot headed and it’s CANNON he’s usually pretty calm and collected. On the other side of the coin is that dazai DOES care about him - in Stormbringer ; Dazai literally willing gave Chuuya an option to either use corruption on Verlaine when he used his true form or to retreat and not do it, which gave a sense of Dazai giving Chuuya the choice to do what he wants without forcing him to, and the fact that when Chuuya used corruption, he was being injured badly to the point where Abahabaki was going to destroy Chuuya which FREAKED DAZAI OUT , and the fact that Dazai certainly believes that Chuuya is human shows that Dazai does care about Chuuya in certain ways without showing due to afraid of losing someone he cares about. and In age 15 Dazai, was willing to help Chuuya to find Abahabaki and defeat Rimbaud, along with stormbringer with him helping Chuuya to find out if he's human or not and to defeat Verlaine.

Ty for reading my rant 💞💞💞💞

i can't tell if this is attacking me or just a rant in general but anyway YESSSSS I 100% AGREE YOU ATE W THAT ANALYSIS BRIAR‼️‼️

[ilovefandoms102]

Forbidden

Pairing: Professor!Andy Barber x Plus Size Reader

Summary: It’s your first year of law school and your Criminal Law Professor isn’t anything like you expected…

Note: Huge thank you to @lerrieslovechild for helping me with this!

Warnings🛑: professor!andy, age gap(reader is in her 20s), smut(slight dubcon, dom/sub aspects, unprotected vaginal sex, overstim, spanking)

Part 2

For as long as you could remember, you’d always wanted to be a lawyer. Specifically one that deals with family matters. See, you didn’t grow up in the best environment. Both your parents were drug addicts and were deep into deals with local gangs, mafias, the whole hog. Since you lived in a shitty area, no one looked twice at how your parents treated you.

One thing they could give you was making sure you went and stayed in school. The time your mother showed any kind of parental concern was when it came to your grades. You’re not sure where you got the brains from and had no one to ask since both sets of grandparents were dead.

From a young age, you knew the only way of getting away from this life was busting your ass in school. Your teachers always doted on you, was the top of all your classes, and got a full ride to the best law school. Once you turned 18, you packed your shit and cashed out every single penny of your savings so your parents couldn’t get their dirty hands on it.

You passed your undergrad with flying colors, moving you on to the first year of law school. No surprise, it was hard, but your favorite class had to be Criminal Law. You went in everyday excited to learn, and it wasn’t just because of your super hot Professor.

Professor Barber was probably the hottest man you’d ever seen, not even exaggerating. From his beard, to his huge beefy arms, luscious thighs and even more amazing ass, you were mesmerized. You didn’t let that get in the way of your studies however as I’m sure others did. You actually cared about what you were studying, maybe partly because of the life you had, but you also knew this would be important for your future career.

Your boyfriend, Chad, hated that you had his class. He was in his second year of law school and also had Professor Barber during his first year. Chad also hated how the Professor seemed to make you his star pupil which was a load of shit. You never even spoke to your Professor unless it was answering questions in class or when he handed back your essays and complimented yours. Professor Barber also knew how badly you wanted to be a family lawyer and set you up with some of his connections, another thing Chad hated.

Chad and you had been together almost a year now, but things started changing once he found out your class schedule. He’d become extremely critical of everything you did and became hateful if you couldn’t hang out. Before then, he was really sweet and outgoing. He treated you right, the sex wasn’t the best but he tried, sometimes he’d send you your favorite flowers.

Midterms were coming up and Professor Barber assigned a big reading along with a 40 plus page paper. It wasn’t anything like he’d assigned before, so all your focus was in to this assignment along with the 10 other things from other classes. That’s when it happened…

Andy stared at your paper, confusion flooding his brain as this wasn’t anywhere near acceptable. Your papers were always his favorite to read, you truly had a gift for the world of law. He’d never seen anything like it in his 5 years of teaching. But this…something was wrong and he was determined to find out.

He couldn’t help but take an interest in you. Aside from the phenomenal work you turned in, you were the smartest one in his class. The way you answered questions and actually paid attention to the material made him feel something he’d never felt. He couldn’t lie about how your beauty struck him every time you walked in his class. He tried not to, but Andy couldn’t help sometimes to stare at your curves or think how it would feel to have you under him while he held on to said curves.

It was so wrong he knew, but he couldn’t help it. The passion that you expressed drew him in like a drug. So when he saw you come in the next day, tear stained cheeks, he saw red. It took all his control to not walk up to you and pull you in his arms. Instead he went through the motions of teaching but noticed you weren’t as engaged as normal.

After class, he stopped you and your heart sunk to your stomach.

“Yes Professor?” you asked timidly, looking up at the man towering over you.

“Do you have a class right now?” Andy questioned.

“No sir, I have a gap.” you murmured, trying to look anywhere but his blue eyes.

“Come to my office, I’d like to discuss your paper.” he said with a tip of his head towards the hallway.

He grabbed his bag, gesturing for you to follow him. You nodded and walked behind him, your mind only on what happened with you and Chad.

“Are you taking his cock y/n?!” Chad roared, his finger in your face.

“No! Why would you even say that?!” you screamed back, tears flowing down your cheeks.

“That’s all you fucking do is talk about Professor fucking Barber! Every time I call you you’re doing work for his fucking class! All your free time is spent with him and not me your fucking boyfriend!” he seethed, the anger in his voice terrifying you.

You cowered back until you hit a wall, Chad charging into your space.

“Stop it Chad!” you sobbed.

“Stop crying like a little bitch and admit what you did!” Chad growled.

“Get out!” you screamed, shoving his chest back.

After some more screaming, Chad finally stormed out of your apartment. You laid in bed that night crying yourself to sleep.

“Y/n? Honey?” Andy shook your shoulder lightly, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Sorry Professor,” you mumbled, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Take a seat.” Andy offered, pointing to the seat across from his desk.

You sat of course, laying your bag on the empty one next to you. Nerves bundled in your stomach as you looked at the handsome man. He stood in front of you, leaning back against his desk. He looked so damn sexy, yet casual if drove you nuts.

“Is everything ok? This paper…well y/n this is nothing like you usually write so I’m concerned.” Andy started gently.

“I-” you started, your voice croaking as tears resurfaced.

“Sweetheart, you can tell me. You’re safe here, it’s just us.” Andy whispered, daringly moving a stray hair from your cheek.

“I’m sorry Professor Barber, I just…I know it’s not my best. I’ve had a really bad past few nights it just-I-I know it’s not an excuse.” you blubbered, crying right in front of your Professor.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry, it’s alright honey. It’s alright. Tell you what, I’ll help you. Come to my place after your classes, then you can turn it in again, but that’ll be your final grade.” Andy said, your eyes widening.

His place?

Your Professor-your very, very HOT Professor wanted you to come over?

“I-I’m not sure.” you sniffled, glancing up into his eyes.

“I’ll give you my number, text you my address.” he whipped his phone out, handing it to you.

Stupidly, you typed your number in. Were you really about to do this? Logically, you could use his help, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to go to his place. What you weren’t prepared for is the moment everything would change…

You knocked on his door, biting your lip as you thought about running back to your car and going home. At the same time, you wondered what this night with your teacher would bring. He opened the door, his sexiness upping by a gazillion since he’d changed out of his usual suit into jeans and a long sleeved tshirt, a chain hanging from his neck that you wanted to grab on to. A chain you could see dangling above you as he fucked you silly.

“Hey sweetheart, come on in.” Professor Barber smiled, stepping aside to give you room to walk in.

“Thanks again for helping me Professor-” you started.

“Andy, call me Andy outside of school baby.” he said softly.

Andy…

Baby…

“Ok, um Andy. Thank you for giving me another chance and offering to help.” you smiled a bit, getting out your laptop from your backpack.

After hours of writing, Andy looking over it, editing and talking all things Crim Law, you were finally able to resubmit your paper. Andy deemed it perfect and that you two should celebrate with a drink. He pulled out his finest whiskey, pouring you both a shot.

“To the amazing y/n.” he grinned, clanking his glass to yours.

“Not sure about that.” you giggled, throwing the shot back.

Andy set about making you an actual drink, throwing that smirk at you that made your clit throb. God you wanted him so bad, and the alcohol didn’t help. Especially when he handed it to you and you clumsily spilt it all over yourself.

“Oh shit, you ok?” Andy asked, grabbing some towels to try and save your drenched clothes.

“Yeah, I’m so sorry.” you whispered, embarrassment flooding through.

“Baby, nothing to be sorry for. You can borrow something of mine and I’ll throw your stuff in the wash.” he offered, taking your hand and guiding you to his room.

Andy handed you one of his shirts, showing you to the bathroom while you changed. He hoped like fuck he wasn’t messing this up, the itch to touch you was driving him insane. Watching you work made his cock achingly hard, he almost had to excuse himself so he could jack off to the dirty thoughts he had in his mind.

He stopped breathing when you walked out, swallowed up in his shirt. All his control went out the window as he prowled to you, picked you up, and tossed you on his bed. A startled shriek escaped as you landed roughly, gulping when Andy pulled his shirt off. His jeans went next before he finally put a knee in the bed, crawling up to you.

“Andy-” you breathed, putting your hand to his chest.

“Tell me you don’t want this.” he growled, heat soaring through your body as you stared up at the beautiful man.

When you didn’t answer, Andy took that and slammed his lips to yours. You couldn’t control the whimper that flew out as you tangled your tongue with his, your hands taking that time to explore the muscle and ridges of his back.

“Fuck, really wanna eat you baby but we’ll have to save that for later.” Andy grunted, yanking his shirt off you.

“Later?” you squeaked, shivering when he nodded his head.

You didn’t have time to even think about being exposed to him, you were so hot and bothered and extremely tuned the fuck on. Sitting up, you threw your bra off while Andy took care of your panties.

Andy yanked you down to the end of the bed, spread your legs, and viscously thrusted inside you. The pain of his cock shot through you yet it felt so fucking good, your back arched from the bed as a pathetic moan rang out into his room.

“Christ baby, so fuckin’ perfect. Look at you, so wet and fucked out already.” he smirked while savagely slamming into you.

“Andy!” you squealed, pleasure spiking way to fast, faster than you’d ever felt.

You could feel it coming, you recognized the feeling yet you’d only ever been able to do it to yourself. This would be your first orgasm during sex, and your Professor was about to give it to you in a way you’d never forget.

“You gonna cum already sweetheart? We just got started.” Andy grinned, holding your hips tighter as he pounded in faster.

“An-Andy I-I’m gonna-” you gasped as your whole body tightened, your orgasm sweeping over you.

Andy smiled menacingly as he watched you, the most beautiful woman lose it taking his cock. He didn’t plan on stopping anytime soon either as he flipped you over, smacking your ass harshly as he pulled you up to your knees.

“All mine now baby, my little slut to do whatever I want with.” he growled, laying another smack to your ass.

You whined against the sheets, shakily pushing up on your hands as you looked over your shoulder. Andy stared into your eyes as he stuffed his cock back into you, watching your eyes roll back as your head fell forward. He reached around, finding your clit and rubbing just as harshly as he hammered into your sore pussy.

“Andy, it’s too much!” you sobbed, another orgasm crashing over.

“Mmmm I know my baby can take it.” he hummed, continuing his movements while you could only sit there and take it.

Orgasm after orgasm, your last one with you on your back with your legs over Andy’s shoulders when he finally let go and planted himself to the root. You were so gone with pleasure you didn’t get to watch, and you secretly hoped there would be a time you could.

Andy was careful with his baby, cleaning her up and tucking her into his side. The two of you shared lots of gentle kisses until you passed out with your head on his chest. Andy finally felt like he’d found the person he’d been looking for, and he was going to do whatever it took to keep you.

[wyverningx]

people on The Internet Dot Com keep being absolute idiots about thea muldani so here is your reminder that she's a ravens success story — she grew up in an environment where she was asked to give her all and engage in incredibly unhealthy practices, but the result of such sacrifice was that she was rewarded for it with US court and a pro team. she was part of a cult and "left" in the sense of gaining physical distance, but all of her experiences reaffirmed that the toxic ravens environment was the most effective way to a successful exy career. it is fucked up that she believes others should go through the same thing in order to be "worthy" or "good enough," but i simply do not understand why so many people look at her and think that she should be crucified for being a representation of a finished, successful raven. especially not if she's unable to recognize abuse in others, which tbqh is something that is very common in cult-like settings. you don't want to look something-that-could-very-well-be-abuse-happening-to-others in the eye, because if they're being abused, then you could potentially be being abused, too, and what do you do with that? do you have any idea how hard it is to come to terms with that reality, especially when you are told day in and day out that this is the only way to get to the top? that this is how you make it in the sport? that someone who is being harmed by the coach or the team captain absolutely deserved it? that people who can't hack it are weak, but you're not weak, you're one of the best, you'll do whatever it takes?

is it extremely shitty that she blames jean for his own sexual assault? absolutely, yes. but she doesn't have the whole picture, and it's clear that jean intentionally deceives her (with the comment about him being fragile/clumsy, etc.) and lets her believe he had more agency in his sexual experiences than he truly did because it's a coping mechanism that also serves the purpose of letting her fill in blanks so he does not have to explicitly tell a lie. besides, if there is any singular raven that both kevin and jean view fondly, wouldn't they want her to believe whatever it took so that she didn't ask too many questions? wouldn't they both want her far removed from the reality of the moriyamas and human trafficking, because her uncovering the truth would put her entire life at risk?

people can have friends that are imperfect or do not understand them completely or that fuck things up sometimes. i get that jean's experiences put people on-guard when it comes to how he interacts with other characters, but god damn. she was his mentor. she taught him everything he knows about being a backliner. she made horrible and judgmental assumptions about his experiences. all of those things can be true at the same time. does she not deserve the opportunity to change upon receiving new information? does she not deserve the ability to take a step back, as ravens are dropping like flies and all eyes are on evermore and the perfect court, to consider that maybe she was a victim in all of this, too? that plenty of people are capable of making it to the top without calling another human being the master and turning a blind eye to the king beating his own men? that maybe kevin and jean and all of them were terribly wronged? why is she the only person in this series who's not allowed to grow as a person by developing a more nuanced understanding of rape and sexual assault and learning how to be a better friend to someone who had no choice?

also someone tried to "gotcha" me by saying thea and jean aren't friends because she uhhhh (checks notes) calls him a teasing nickname and says "i'm going to break your ribs" as though threatening your friends (especially ones you play a contact, violent sport with) is the worst possible offense ever in the same book series that people regularly ACTUALLY fistfight each other and pull knives on one another. i'd argue that these are actually huge indicators that they do like each other, because she's probably one of the only people in the world who he can express himself around and even say things like "i'm not from paris" exasperatedly. you know, like you do when people you care about tease or poke fun at you. those are actually probably some of the most normal interactions jean has pre-TSC, especially as she is not needlessly cruel to him like literally everyone else in the nest is. and not only is thea one of the only people who has any sort of comraderie with him and who makes the effort to see him after his injuries because she cares, but she also makes it past wymack and kevin and renee and neil guard-dogging him. does that seriously mean nothing? do you think renee fucking walker (who was ready to brawl on-sight at evermore) would have let someone like zane waltz into abby's house if kevin said a single negative word about him?

i have seen some incredibly wonderful and nuanced takes about most characters in AFTG, but at the same time, the way thea is treated and criticized in a more severe way than literal murderers in the series for her possibly-willful ignorance is utterly crazy to me.

idk. just some food for thought

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

at the end of the day, I choose you

☆AGATHA'S MASTERLIST☆

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

summary : you got involved into a ridiculous case that Eddie falsely accused some kind of a "satanic cult" at school, people called him "freak" just because how he dress and listens to metal music, you didn't knew him very well but in the short amount of time you're with him, he is innocent and he is not exactly what they think about him, they would've loved him like the way you loved him

word count : not gonna make this long, I always keep my word 😩

warnings : 18+ Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, language, Eddie and reader are both 20, no use of y/n, Jason Carver appearance 🤮, I don't know if this is considered a warning but Eddie will face bullying, pure discrimination against him, and the townspeople will be just really mean to him, so yeah, expect this little bit soul crushing but you'll survive lol

what to expect : angst, drama, crime, thriller, suspense, romance and fluff at the near end! hehe 🤫

note to reader : I just had a thought of this, how about Eddie and reader will be at the court room without Vecna and the upside down exist? This is just an ultimate tear-jerker and romance films you've seen hahaha

author note : I just really hope you'll enjoy reading this one! 🥺🫶🏻

☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹

You're not exactly close with Eddie

You don't know him very well, but you knew him of course

You love to watch him annoying those jocks at lunch time

more like..... jerks

But you shared classes together, interacted a bit, he seems nice

You didn't care about the social cliques and about your social status

All you wanted to do is to learn, graduate and hopefully you can get to find friends

and you did.....sort of?

It's very rare for you to vibe with someone has the same age as yours

Jonathan, Steve, Robin and Nancy are the only ones you befriended

They all seem very real to you and you're grateful to have them

But most of the time, you love to bond with Will

You enjoy his company and he is very dear to you

You treat him like your own brother

"How's California?" you ask Will while you're playing with the straw of your vanilla milkshake

He popped a fry on his mouth and he stops chewing "it's good" he lies, and then he swallowed

you moved your milkshake to the side and you lean down "I know when you lie, Byers"

He rolled his eyes as he pushed away his food

"Where do I even begin?" he starts "Me and El had a hard time to adjust in the new environment" he softly says with his eyes flickering with hesitation

You quickly noticed this so you said "You know can always talk to me, right?"

"Yeah" he sheepishly smiles

"Is there someone bothering the both of you?! I would gladly to punch them all so they won't bully you guys anymore!" You jokingly says and Will threw his head back in laughter

You smile at him while he calms back down from his laughter

"There are some mouthbreathers" he admits with a glint of affliction in his eyes

You nod "I completely understand how you feel, just don't mind those assholes" you scoff

He chuckles "I just wish people could be just more open-minded and not mean, you know?"

A smile grows on your lips "This is why you're my favorite in the group" you think to yourself

"I totally get that" you paused "when you try to socialize with people and it feels like they didn't want you, that's okay, just move on and mingle again, and if it has the same energy then it's good! there are more people that willingly to be your friend and much more deserving than those mouthbreathers" you say as you finish your vanilla milkshake

He continues to eat his fries while he listens to you

"Thanks" he beamed and this time you made his eyes light up and that warms your heart

"Don't mention it" you say and you wave at him dismissively

"Have you talked to Jonathan?"

He shook his head and avoids your eyes

He is troubling opening up to his big brother, when they grew apart, the time when he is going for college, but since Jonathan is also your friend and he is always has been vocal about how much he cares for his brother... you know, nothing has changed between the two of them

"He might not be able to reach out to talk to you, but, believe me, Will, he truly does care for you and he always talks about you"

"Really?" he says softly with a small smile

"Yeah, and don't ever, my god! don't ever think of a second thought that he won't be there for you"

He snorted yet again "It's so good to be back at Hawkins"

"You missed me, don't you?" You smirk

"Well, duh" you both laugh together

You grab your purse and you pick out your wallet and slam a $10 on the table "Now, come on, let's go home before Joyce might grounded you"

He chortled and stands up after you stood up and you ruffle his hair while you hug him walking towards to your car

☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹

You're in the Hawkins High Library and you're headed towards to your next class

Until.... a boy with a varsity jacket pulled you in the corner where no else can see you

"Hey, there" it's fucking Jason Carver, you despise him

He kept hitting you up and he won't stop, you turned him down more than a million times already and you're getting exhausted of it

"What the hell, do you want, Carver?" You say bitterly with rage on your eyes, you had enough of him

"Oooh, feisty! still going on strong?" He says ignoring the way you're obviously not interested at him

You shake your head "Leave me the fuck alone!" You say in a whisper-shout and you push him

The action that you just did, angers him, he is so full of himself, thinking that all the girls want him but not you-

You would rather kill yourself than be with him

He grabs your wrist and tightens it, you try to rip it off but he won't let go

"Take your hands off at her" a serious tone coming from the other side of the room

You know that voice, you turn around and you saw Eddie

He menacingly laughs "What you gonna do about it, freak?"

Your face scrunched up of what he just called him, it's too distasteful to you

Sure, you're only classmates but come to think of it

He is more nicer than this douchebag, despite of him wearing the clothes that he's wearing that other people wouldn't approved

He made a death stare to Jason and he says sternly "I'm not going to ask you again, let.... her.... go"

He shoots a pointed look at the bully and he just looks at him up and down, he huffs

He looks back at you and he finally let go of your wrist and you wince at how hard he holds you

"You're not even worth it" Jason spews at you in frustration and you taken a back at his words and he walks away

giving Eddie a hard push at the side and he scoffed

"yeah, right, you bastard!" you shout at him

"What a dick" Eddie watches him leave and you walk past by him and he stops you by holding your hand gently

You halt your tracks as you look down where he holds you "Yes?" You ask

"Are you okay?" he says softly trying to make you look at him

"Yes, Eddie, I'm fine" you reassure him not looking into his eyes

Your eyes softens when he checks your wrist, when he runs his thumb around it, you flinched

He raises his brows at you and you click your tongue

"I'm alright, Eddie, it's just a bruise!" you shrug

"No- I'm taking you to the clinic" He says as he pulls you with him

He is much more respectful and a gentleman than most guys at the school

The fact he is a stranger.... he has much more kindness to those who claim themselves as the good person when in reality

They're the ones who have real bad intentions

Sometimes, people calling someone a "freak" have the purest hearts

after he took care of your wrist, he asks "Can I walk you to class?"

"Uh- yes, you may" you smile at him

He opens the door for you "after you" he gestures outside

You nod at him shyly

☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹

"Hello?" a voice coming from the walkie-talkie on your bedside table is making you wake up from your sleep

You groan and you turn yourself on the side and you place a pillow on your ear but the noise is still clear as day

"Hey, I know you're awake! Pick it up!" His voice becomes more maddening

you sigh and you remove the pillow from your head and you sat up on the bed and pick up the walkie-talkie

"What is it?" You say trying not to sound crabby but Dustin always caught it and you rolled your eyes

"Have you seen, Eddie?" He asks, he sounds jumpy and it confuses you

You glanced over your wrist where Eddie took care of it and you blinked

"Uh- no, I haven't yet, why?" your eyes draw side by side something feels off

"Turn on your TV, right now" he says plainly

You furrow your brows but you did what he asked you to do

You slip off from your blanket and you walked towards to turn on the TV

You sit down on the edge of your bed

"Just In : A student from Hawkins High, female, aged 18, was found dead by unknown circumstances, Jason Carver claims that Eddie Munson is a crime suspect of this murder"

"What the fuck?"

"I know, It's bullshit" Dustin says over at the walkie-talkie

"You haven't heard from him ever since?" you say still looking at the television screen

"Nope, Nada, that's why I've been asking you for over an hour ago!"

Your face crumpled up "Why are you asking me this? You should've known where he is since two of you are friends, right?"

"I know the two of you aren't close but Lucas saw you and Eddie at the clinic yesterday"

Oh

"So I'm just guessing.... maybe... you knew something else before he got missing in action"

"No, uh- after the clinic, he walked me to class and I went home afterwards"

"Uh huh, okay, well, thanks for the info"

"Dustin"

"Yeah?"

You take a last look on the TV, this isn't right, he shouldn't be treated like this

"Can I help?"

"Oh- We don't have all day! I'll be at the Wheelers, I meet you there!" He exclaims

Not the response you expected but you get up and grab your purse and drove away

You sit back and watch all of the kids discussing about the situation

"I-it doesn't make any sense! Eddie might look scary but he would never do this" Mike paces back and forth

"Exactly, we all know that Eddie and Jason didn't get along together, but no matter how mean is Jason to him, he wouldn't lay a finger on that, man!" Lucas added

"I hope he is somewhere safe" Will says

"How can you be so sure that he didn't do it?" Max looks at Dustin in question

"You don't know him like I do, Max!" Dustin raises his voice and all of you got the attention

He glances at Lucas and he gives him a small smile as he took a deep breath

"High school can be tough, when Lucas made all of his sports friends, Mike and I we had no one" he paused

"No one except Eddie" he says as he sats down beside you and your gently rub his back

He looks at you with a light nod, he really wants to find his friend and you can tell he is worried for him

Max looks at Dustin with empathy on her eyes

"Listen, man, Jason" Lucas nervously swallows

All of you look at him in confusion

"He won't stop looking for him, he is blinded by his own rage, I-I ran away before they can get suspicious, but I guess I am also wanted too"

"What do you mean?" You ask him

"They knew that I was playing D&D and they saw the picture of us, The Hellfire Club, a-and I saw him burning it"

You, Mike, Dustin, Max and Will shared looks that are filled with disturbance

"I felt unsettled, the last thing that I heard from them, I think they're going to-" Lucas and the look in his eyes, you know what it is already

The tension in the room is dark and it feels like tying a knot into your stomach

"Oh, god" you cupped your mouth

"We need to look for him right now!" Dustin shouts

☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹

"Will you stop making fun of me, Robs?" Steve grumbles while fixing the tapes in the front desk

She flashes out a smug smile "I just love to see your face turns bright red" she laughs

Steve gives Robin a look that says "I will annihilate you"

Robin raises both of shoulders with a soft "Fine" jumps out of the seat and picks up the other VHS tapes

Hopper and Jane enters inside the Family Video

Steve and Robin eyes both light up and Jane does the same

"Hi" she says shyly

"Good day" Hopper greets them

Steve nods to him and Robin "Good day to you too, chief!" with a dramatic salute and making Jane laugh

Robin exits the front desk and walks around towards to Jane

"What can I help you?" Robin excitement in her eyes glowing

Jane looks up to Hopper and says "You go ahead"

"I want a movie with fantasy and adventure" she says with a soft smile

"With a bit of romance?" She winks, of course, she knows that this is Mike's girl

She chuckles "Yeah"

Steve and Hopper watch them as they look over the Fantasy/Adventure section

"Is she always this excited to other kids?" Hopper asks

"Uh, I guess? I see her hanging around with the others but I think she likes Jane's company a lot more" Steve leans down on the counter with his hands locked together

Hopper grows a smile on his lips while he listens "I don't blame her, she radiates positive energy, you know"

Steve agrees "Yeah, she does" he ends it with a smile on his face

Two townspeople entered the premises

Steve immediately knows who they are, Mr. Ron Cunningham and Mr. Jake Carver

They headed on the side of the room

"You don't have to do this, Jake, you know it is not right" Ron trying to convince Jake about his plan

Ignoring his words by saying

"Thank god for my boy, Jason Carver, he is like the god's messenger, what he said about Eddie Munson? is a true vessel for Satan" he delusionally said

Steve overheard their conversation as he halts to what he was doing as he quietly says "What the fuck?"

He stole a glance from Hopper, only to find out that he also heard it

They both shared a knowing look as they continue pretending not to hear about anything

The two chatted with each other, the sound becomes clearer and clearer as they walks closer to the counter

"They even made a fucking cult, what is it called again?"

"Hellfire Club" Ron answers, he exasperated sighs

"my god, I wonder some of our children got brainwashed by that kid!" He exclaims

"Look, Jake, just because that boy, Eddie Munson likes to listen metal music or play D&D doesn't mean they love to sacrifice lives?!? HE IS JUST A KID!" Ron shouts at him

Ignoring him yet, again

"Rock Music is nothing more than satanic cyanide, I bet it hypnotizes you, just a little game? That's what they wanted you to think" Jake throws the VHS on the counter

Ron rolls his eyes at him as he places his tape on the counter

Robin and Jane, overheard it while they're waiting for their turn to pay for the VHS

Their faces dropped in such tension, all of them started to wonder, what will happen to Eddie?

They're not as close to Eddie, but all of them know that it is not right to punish someone who is clearly innocent

While they're paying for the VHS, Jake recognizes Steve

"Hey, you're a Harrington right?"

Steve raises his head with a serious look and glances over to Hopper before he could answer

"Yeah, I am"

"I heard you used to be like so popular back then like Jason but now" he looks up and down at Steve disgustedly

"You're one of those freaks as well"

"Like father and son, both of them are assholes" he thinks to himself

"My son outshined you, Steve"

"Yeah, well, at least I'm not falsely accusing someone" Steve bites back but Hopper gives him a look that says "Stop"

Before Jake can respond, Ron pulled him away, dragging him outside the exit

"Sorry about that, Steve" Ron shows a small smile

Even for a short second, Steve can already pick up, he can see in his eyes, the sadness and heartache

It's Chrissy, his daughter is the one who got brutally murdered

"We need to call Dustin right now!" Robin whisper-shout

☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹

You manage to find Eddie by asking Gareth and Jeff, his safe place, the one place where he could be truly be himself

All of the gang reunited, on the search for Eddie

The house is empty with no lights are on

There is one however open, on the side of the house

The moment you opened the door

Eddie, jumps out of nowhere on Steve pins him against the wall with a broken glass bottle, startling all of you

"Eddie! It's me! It's Dustin! This is Steve!" Dustin shouts

"We're on your side" he emphasizes his point with his finger pointing to all of you and back to him "I swear on my mother!" Dustin exclaims

Even when it's dark, only flashlights that all of you using, you can see the fear in his eyes, he is terrified

"Eddie?" your soft voice eases out the tension from him

He looked back at you, seeing you standing there beside Dustin

He turns back at Steve again, with Dustin saying "Steve, would you drop the oar?"

It clatters and making Eddie bringing up the broken glass closer to him

"Eddie, please, we're with you"

He looks back at you again, he takes a double check, that it is real, he is not dreaming

It is really you

His gaze softens and as walks away from Steve

You gave him and Dustin, a moment together

Police car wails pass by the area, you saw while looking at the window

"Hey" Dustin speaks up behind you

"Yes?"

"He wants to talk to you"

You looked over to Dustin's shoulder, you see him sitting all alone outside fidgeting with his rings

"Don't worry, he's all good" Dustin says

"Okay" you pat him back and give him a small smile

You walk towards him slowly, you say "Hi" softly

He only nod in response, you sat down beside him

"What are you doing here?" He asks not looking at you, his eyes were on the soft waves of the water

"I- uh, I just wanted to help" you say while raise your one knee close to your chest

"Do you believe it?"

"No, I don't"

Now, this time, your eyes meet, he stares at you for a while and goes back to the water

You raise a plastic bag in front of him

He furrowed his brows together, he turn his head to face you and you smiled "it's for you"

You gave it to him and he picks out a bag of pretzels, his eyes goes wide and a six pack beer

"How did you know that these are my favorite?" He asks while holding up a bag of pretzels

You shrugged "I saw you all the time with it, especially at lunchtime"

He genuinely smiles that reaches to his ears

"Thank you, sweetheart" he says while opens the bag of pretzels and he grabs a handful and chomps on it

You chuckled lightly on his action, how in the world would people think he is dangerous?

The demon in question, is literally devouring pretzels cutely

You shook your head at the thought

"For the record, I didn't only helped, Dustin"

He stops chewing for a second while he looks at you closely

"I came because I want to help you"

He blinks and he swallows, he glances at your wrist the one he took care of yesterday, still covered with a bandage

You stand up "and I don't believe them"

"What do you believe?"

"You, I believe you" you say while you give a small squeeze from his shoulder

You smiled at him and you walk away

He laughs under his breath, he watches you and opens a can of beer

He takes a sip of it, feeling oddly tingles on his stomach and brain

He became infatuated for you

☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹

A loud banging from the door, all of you woken up, you straighten yourself up

You saw the police cars outside, you saw Gareth and Jeff with Jason's goons

They looked.... beaten up

Your heart starts beating speedily, you look for Eddie, he is already staring at you, he is afraid

"Did anyone told where we are?!" Dustin with his eyes almost bulge out from his skull

"I didn't told a soul" you give a pointed look at Dustin

"Unless" Lucas says

"Unless, what?" Mike speaks up

"Someone is already watching in Gareth's place, before you came" Lucas gulped and all of you looked at each other with the same thought

"Hey, open up!" Officer Calvin Powell demands from the outside

"I'll handle this, kid" Hopper reassures Eddie sniffles and frozen in place

You walked towards to Eddie "You need to hide" you whispered to him

"No"

"What?!"

"I'm done hiding, I'm not running away again"

"But, Eddie, you've done nothing wrong"

"I-I know, I am not scared anymore because-" he paused tearing his eyes away from you in a moment

"You're here" his eyes roams around your features with a sad smile on his face

You sigh "Eddie- this isn't the time to be heroic-" he place a finger on your lips cutting you off, you knit your brows together

He holds both of your shoulders "you gave me hope"

Your eyes became glossy "Eddie, please, don't do this"

"It will be okay, we can get through with this" he says while he moves his hands up and down on your shoulder, raising one up to tuck your hair behind your ear

You stare at each other, smiling to one another

Before you know it, your little time together has cut off

Officer Callahan came into the scene "Eddie Munson on your knees, put your hands behind your head!"

You gasped and you frown at him, Eddie follows the instructions carefully

The protest from Dustin, Lucas, Will, Mike, Jane, Steve and Robin voices drawn out from your ear

It was loud at first until it feels all blurry to you

You can't even hear some of your friends begging not to arrest Eddie, your heart drops at the sight of him, cuffing his hands

He gave one last smile at you, "I'll see you again soon, sweetheart" he says

You hold his cheeks with sympathy on your eyes

You glanced over to Jason with infuriating look to him

He crossed both of his arms with a smug smile on his face

While heading towards the police car, Steve jogs to reach Eddie

"Hey, man, look, I know a lawyer that can help you" he points to himself and the group

"We will help you"

Eddie only chuckles "Thanks, dude, you don't need to do that, Harrington"

"Please, let us help you, Eddie" Steve sighs

Before he can respond, he heard his uncle's car arrived

He gets out of the car, just to see his nephew with cuffs on

He ran towards to him only to be stopped by other police officers

"No! What are you doing?!- Stop this! My boy is innocent!" His voice cracks up and Eddie ducks his head down, he doesn't want to see his uncle distressed

Your heart crushed into pieces when you heard his uncle cried out for his nephew

You sharply inhale and you close your eyes, if Eddie says it will be okay

Then you'll just have to trust him and have faith

☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹

Steve did kept his word for him, he found a perfect lawyer

The case goes on and on for days and weeks

The real suspect is still at large and people are just wasting their time on the wrong guy

There's got to be way to end this

You had an conversation with Chrissy's father over at diner, you thought he'll be fuming at you since the whole town is clearly.....

Hate everyone who is friends with the town freak

People seriously need to wake up

You had a couple of death threat's and it feels like the whole world is against you and your friends

Ron Cunningham stopped being friends with Jake, he had enough of his behavior

He is sick as fuck like his own son

"Of course, I was mad, but it isn't right to be violently revenge on someone who is innocent" he says while he takes a sip of his coffee

"Yes, you can be angry, you have the right to be angry of losing your loved one but I just-" he shakes his head

"It's wicked to do something like that, ending someone's life when there's like no proof at all?!?" he laughs in disbelief

You stare at him directly while listening to him "How are you so certain of this?"

He clears his throat "My daughter once told me, Eddie helped her while she's having hard time with herself, mentally and physically"

You nod and he added "She doesn't open up to me a lot but I know my daughter, I knew that fucker, Jason wasn't good for my little girl but..... she loves him so much i couldn't bear to see her like that so i let her"

"Wait- do Jason, knew about this?"

"About her personal problems?"

"Not that I'm aware of"

"Can you testify for tomorrow?"

He quickly averted his eyes from you while he looks out at the window "I-I can't"

"Why not?"

He remains silent until you know the reason why he hesitated, he is petrified of the Carver's

"You could bring justice to your own daughter, Ron and you could also do the same for Eddie"

You lean in closer "I-I know im not in the exact same world with Chrissy but I interacted with her before, she is an angel such a sweet soul"

His eyes became misty and sniffles, showing you a sad smile

"It is unacceptable to ruin someone's life, only to find out a few years later, they realized that Eddie has done nothing wrong"

"Jason and Jake are just people who need guidance for their wrong point of view at beliefs about everything" you pressed your lips together

"Whoever that person is still out there, everyone life's are in danger because they focused on the wrong person" you place a one dollar bill on the table

You stood up before you leave "I hope I'll see you in the court room, Ron"

Your words made him think deeply, he despises the Carver's, they will get karma from what they've done

☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹

While at the courtroom, you twiddle with your thumbs, anxiously or wishes a miracle would happen

"Did you get to talk with Ron?" Steve asks, scoots closer to you

"Yeah, but"

"Oh no, it went wrong didn't it?"

"No, from what I just said last night, I think I pulled a string from him"

"So, where is he then?"

"I just don't know if he'll come around"

"He is a Cunningham, those people won't let you down"

"How can you be so sure?"

"Him and my father, we're pals back then" his eyes searches for Ron but no sign of him

"Oh" you raise your brows

Eddie steals a chance to glance at you everytime he can, he thought after you found him you'll stop but there you are again

Present at all times, helping him yet again

It's unbelievable to him that someone like you are devoted to get him out of here

"Again for the last time, did you bring someone to testify?!" The judge is impatiently waiting for the 2nd consideration

If Eddie's lawyer asked for more 5 minutes, the judge will dismiss this case and declaring that he is guilty

You and Steve panicked, both don't know what to do

Until....

"They did" Ron enters the courtroom heading towards on the side

You and Steve both sigh of relief, Ron glances at you and you smiled

Mouthing a "Thank you" to him

The courtroom with him is going well, until it's shit again

is Ron Cunningham isn't enough evidence?

"I'm sorry, guys, I think we're almost there, we just need to keep trying" Ron reassures all of you

"There's definitely something's fishy in this case" Hopper agrees

"It's corruption" Lucas added

"They're fucking stalling if you asked me" Dustin scoffed

"I hope the bad guy will face conscience to what mess he just did" Will shoves his face into his hands

"I smell bribery in that place" Mike frustratingly groans

"It's a room full with liars" Jane huffs

"Jane, you're a genius!" your voice was so loud to make all of their attention goes to you

Wayne smirks and you too making them more confused than as ever

"I am?" Jane points to herself, puzzled at the situation

"My boy, Eddie never lies" Wayne says

"We need a proof that is so strong that they just can't turn it down, I gurantee tomorrow is our lucky day" you say while you whispered into Robin's ear

You told them about your plan and it is excellent idea

Robin goes back to the room saying "I called the two of our allies, they're game for tomorrow"

"Great, let's just sit tight and wait for the magic begins" you chuckled

☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹☹

It's the last court day

Eddie is aware of it, he is nervous as hell

You sneak up from behind, startling him, you say "sorry" softly

"It's going to be okay" you say while holding his hand, you echoed the one he told you before

Eddie looks into your eyes and all he can see is filled with bravery and confidence

He is taken a back from it "I admire all of this, sweetheart"

You smile at him making him genuinely smile at you again, you're missing this

He always asks for you to hold your hand before the case begins, it helps with his anxiety

The judge came in saying "I think it's time for the jury to-"

"Not so fast, there's one more thing left to discuss" Nancy holds up one of the folders

"Justice for Eddie!" Jonathan yells making your side of the room cheered

Eddie's lawyer tackles the mysterious folder that is given to him

He catches up to what this means already

"It seems like the paperwork that I have right here with me proves that my client is truely innocent" he starts

30 or 40 students from Hawkins High, boys and girls told the whole court that they we're bullied and harassed by Jason Carver

One student claims that he gets away with anything, stating that he never holds accountable for what he has done

Jason slumps down from his seat, his father is now pissed off at him

Jason looks at you across the room, staring daggers at you, while you just flip him off

"Eat your own medicine" you mouth to him

This commotion earned a look from the judge, the jury and some of the townspeople in the room

"Can I testify?" You get up on your feet, all of your friends turn at you shockingly

Eddie with his lips apart at your voice, you can feel his eyes on you

"You go ahead, young lady" the judge proceeds

"I admit that I don't know Eddie personally, but a few small interactions with him, he is far more different guys that I met, I felt safe whenever I'm around him, I guess Chrissy might felt the same as I did" you took a deep breath

"Eddie might look scary to some of you, but he only did that just to protect himself" your eyes meet Eddie's

You look over at the jury "Can you imagine the life of being an outcast? Bullied most of your life, of course, you need to look tough so that people will leave you alone" you holding back the tears from your eyes

"About the music, most of us, rely on that, is what keeps us going, you don't know maybe it inspires us, it helps us to whatever we're going through"

"Open your eyes and look hard enough, think deeper, be more emotionally available to your children, just listen and try to understand"

One of the jury asks "Are you saying that you trust Eddie?"

You quickly wiped a tear that escapes from your eye "Yes, I trust him"

You turn around to look at the judge "People at my school called him names "Freak" "Weirdo" and "Loser" you laugh incredulously

"Sometimes people who are seem odd to you maybe the one who saved most of your children lives"

Another one from the jury speaks up "I'm not following this"

"He gathered a group who doesn't find their place in the school's environment, he never left anyone out"

Another group of students just barge in inside (this wasn't part of your plan and it shocks you)

Claiming that Eddie Munson, helped them

You, Eddie and your friends light up at the scenario

Eddie became teary eyed, even he's a little bit far away from you, you can see his hand shaking

"I rest my case" you say as you go back from the seat with your friends

You placed a hand on Eddie's shoulder and he pats it with a grateful smile

Everyone is appalled and began rethinking decisions since the proof felt so real to all of them

"I may have come to the conclusion, a review of the alleged falsely accused crime of murder, Eddie Munson, who you people believe is a devil worshipper, when there's people out there have bad intentions, but for my observation, these people right here,"

The judge points to all of you, you feel frightened and your heart starts racing

"Spoke the truth and they indeed preach and fight for what is right, so therefore, I pledge NOT GUILTY of all the charges" he finishes with the bang of the gavel

All of you screamed in victorious mood

Dustin jumped, Steve starts whooping, Robin whistles, Mike, Lucas, Gareth and Jeff give themselves a high five, Jane and Max both said "Oh my god" at the same time, Will hugged you completely overjoyed at the success

Nancy and Jonathan salutes to you with a wink and you laugh

Hopper watches all of you, he smiles in content

"Those kids never stopped believing do they?" Ron laughs in a cheerful way

"They're not giving up that's for sure" Hopper says as he shoves his hands down on his pockets

You saw Wayne embraced Eddie, and both of them cried in such happiness, your felt your heart warmth with jubilant

You let yourself enjoy of this blissful moment

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It's been 2 months since the case happened

The suspect finally turn himself in the Hawkins Police, after the case was finished, he is ashamed for what happened to Eddie, he is now put behind bars, Ron Cunningham avenged his daughter, he can feel that Chrissy is smiling down at him

Justice was served on both sides

Eddie is much more open and felt welcomed than before

He also noticed that there's an improvement after the impact that he has done

It felt good to him, felt safe and sound, the school takes bullies very seriously now

No more social cliques, no more who's popular and who is not

The hatred is gone, Eddie never felt this alive since he never knew this could happen in his life

You and your friends hang out a lot, all of you got more closer together and more caring to one another

Meanwhile, at Steve's place having a movie night, with foods and drinks for everyone

"Hey" a voice from your beloved person

"Oh! Eddie!" You didn't think twice of hugging him and he melts easily at your touch

"Can I have a word for you?" He asks in a serious tone and you got intimidated

"Uh, sure, Ed's" you beamed at him

You're in Steve's backyard and he closes the door

The gloomy breeze hits your exposed shoulders, Eddie noticed this he gets out of his jacket and offers it to you

Before you can say no, he give you a warning look and you chortled

The warmth tender that gives you from his jacket, you felt bubbly all over

"What's up, Eddie?"

"I've been meaning to ask you" his voice sounds shaky and you find his doe eyes cute

He wastes no time and he just blurted it out

"Can I ask you on a date?" He sheepishly smiles

Words got caught up on your throat but you recovered, you didn't expected this

"I would love to go out with you" you smile widely

He blinks rapidly "You do?" he grins

"Yes" you nod aggressively and it made him laugh

"You're so unreal"

"Why?"

"I've never knew that I will have the girl that I always wanted"

Your eyes sparks with adoration "I will always be your girl, Eddie"

He places his hand over his chest "Well, shit my darling, I think you got me all over the floor now"

You giggled "I have something to tell you too"

He nods motioning you to continue

"I-I think I've fallen in love with you, ever since the day at the clinic"

His eyes almost popped out of his skull

"How about now?" He says softly while reaches down to holds your hand and runs his thumbs over your knuckles

"I love you" you confessed

"Really?"

"I really do"

"There's no one else?" He looked down, he tries not to look into your eyes

You frown, you cupped his cheek to make him meet your gaze

"Eddie, why would I do that? when you captured my heart in the first place"

He chuckles, he places his hands over your shoulders, you blushed

"Sweetheart, I love you so much, you're so good to me, you're amazing and the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me, you never had a thought of giving up to me, you believe in me when no else did, you cared for me even when your life is endangered, you willing to do anything just to save me, I'm so blessed having you in my life, I am truly indebted to you" he leans in closer

You gasped, you never been this close to him before

"Thank you for everything, I wouldn't be here without you" he does the same thing, he tucks your hair behind your ear

"For all the problems, liars and dirty cheats of the world at the end of the day, I choose you"

"And we will get through all of it like we always do" he says

You make a quick kiss on his lips and he flustered by your action but he smirks

"You call that a kiss?" He raises a brow

You acted all coy and until he pulled in closer for a real kiss

He gave you a kiss like no other, it's electricfying and pure love

You both smile in the kiss fondly, he savors and treasures this moment

Having you in his arms and hugging each other

You know, you'll be okay for the rest of your life as long as you have him on your side

You got nothing else to worry about....

♡

[biaswreckingfics]

Business or Pleasure? - Part 4

Pairing: Lee Sangyeon x Female Reader

Genre: CEO AU, Fake Dating AU, Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: None

Previous Chapter

Sangyeon's POV

Sangyeon walks through the office at a steady pace, well aware of the stares he's getting as he passes. His eyes stay focused on the back wall, where his office - which he can see growing between the cubicles - is located. The stares he gets almost make him itchy, but he refuses to allow that to show on his face until your words come back to him.

Mob boss.

Who on Earth thinks of such ridiculous things? Even worse, Sangyeon finds himself wondering if he should smile at some of them. Would that be weird?

That'd probably be weird. Hell, by the end of the day, they might all think they're getting fired or something. 

Sangyeon feels relief when he approaches your empty desk. He's almost to his office, and then he can shield himself from everyone's eyes for the rest of the day.

Something on your desk catches his attention, and he pauses to look at it. A cup holder filled with all types of silly pens sits front and center on your desk. Sangyeon takes a minute to look at all of them, noting the giant smiley face, the multicolored flower, and the... pink-haired troll?

He feels a smile tug at his lips and shakes his head. He's not the least bit surprised you would have a bunch of random pens in a "professional environment". The more he learns your quirks, the more he's coming to expect them.

Opening his office door and immediately closing it behind him, he thinks about how you did the same thing last week and then offered to help him of all things. In the nearly ten years he's had this job, there have been very few others like you, and certainly, no one who was brave enough to outright call him a liar. It's amusing.

You've only been here for a couple of weeks, and already Sangyeon finds himself laughing at the most random and absurd things. He almost wonders if he should be worried...

A vibrating in his pocket tells him someone is calling him. Tossing his briefcase on his desk, he digs his phone out and answers without looking. A terrible mistake.

His mom's voice greets him, and his mind is already racing to come up with an excuse for what he knows she's about to ask.

"My darling boy, I hope you're not busy yet."

"No, mom. I just got to the office. I can talk for a little bit."

"Oh, good! I want to talk to you about your sister's wedding."

Sangyeon shuts his eyes and sinks down into his chair. He hates that he has this inability to lie to her. He should've attempted it anyways. He should've told her someone needed him for something. Maybe he still can...

"Do you have a date yet?"

He sighs. "No, mom. I haven't had time to ask anyone if they're available."

"Sangyeon," his mom whines, and he can almost physically see her pout. "You have to start putting yourself first! You work so much that it's going to be the death of you."

"I know, mom," he relents because he's used to this line of conversation. If he lets her go on any longer, they'll end up at the "I want grandbabies" stage. The thought alone makes Sangyeon want to physically recoil.

"You're so attractive, and you're wasting your youth in that stuffy office," she tuts. "It's a good thing you have a mother like me to help you out."

Sangyeon pauses, not liking the sound of that one bit. "What does that mean?"

"Well, I knew you were going to be too busy to do it yourself, so I found you a date," she nonchalantly says.

Sangyeon's stomach drops, and he suddenly feels lightheaded. "No! I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?"

"I mean," he pauses when his office door opens. You pop in your head, mouthing an apology when you notice he's on the phone, and quietly shut the door. The next words that come out of his mouth are done without thought. "I already have someone that I want to ask."

The silence that reaches his ears has him holding his breath. "Are you lying to your mother right now?"

"No, I'm not. There's someone that I'm planning to ask, but it's still too early."

It takes a moment, but then his mom starts squealing in his ears. He pulls his phone away, wincing at the sound. He tries to make out the words she's saying, and at some point, he's pretty sure he hears the words "My baby has a girlfriend".

"Mom," he tries to get her attention. "Mom!"

"Yes, I'm sorry. I'm just so relieved," she tells him, getting ready to go on the spiel he's heard a hundred times before. "You know how badly I've been hoping you'd find someone. It's been such a long time."

"It hasn't been that long," he mutters.

His mother scoffs. "Yes, it has, honey, and that's okay! You should ask your date soon, though. The wedding is this weekend."

Sangyeon sits up in his seat, eyes shooting over to the calendar. Holy freaking crap. How is the wedding already here?! He hasn't even gotten a gift yet!

"Sangyeon?" He hears his mom calling his name, and he clears his throat.

"I'll make sure to ask her today, mom. I have to go, though. Someone's at my door. I'll see you this weekend. Love you!"

He hangs up the phone and sinks into his seat. He is so screwed. How is he going to get you to come with him? Not only is it such short notice, but it's wildly inappropriate. He's your boss! Also, why did just seeing your face give him the idea to ask you? Where did that thought even come from?

Maybe there's someone else he can ask... He pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through his contacts. His body feels heavier and heavier the further down he scrolls. All of his contacts are business related, except for a few, and those ones he's not willing to ask to be his date this weekend.

Sangyeon stares blankly at the chairs in front of him. The disbelief over his lie truly starting to settle in. He'd never intended to ask you out. Truthfully, the thought never crossed his mind because dating is so far off his radar. Then, his mom said she'd found him a date, and he panicked. When you popped into his office, it was like fate was giving him a way out, and he seized it. Quickly. ... Maybe too quickly.

He starts mentally making a pros and cons list. Pros? You're easy to get along with, you're better than someone he barely knows, and you're... very attractive - though Sangyeon will never admit that out loud. Cons? He's your freaking boss, and it's basically illegal!

Y/N's POV

The phone on your desk rings, and you immediately answer without looking at the screen. When you hear Sangyeon's voice telling you it's okay to come into his office now, you quickly disconnect the call and grab your notebook.

When you enter his office, his face appears even more strained than it did the first time you popped in. He suddenly looks like he wants to sprint out of his office unseen, but he tries to cover it up when he spots you.

"Good morning," he murmurs, and you detect a slight breathiness behind it.

"Morning," you respond as cheerfully as you can. As if your response will determine his mood change. "So, I just thought I'd go over your schedule for -"

"Are you busy this weekend?"

Your entire being freezes as you try to process his question. Mouth still hanging open, you furrow your brows and look around his office dumbfounded. Are you busy this weekend? Why? Does Lee Tech have an event or something? Nothing is immediately coming to mind.

"No?" You let the questioning tone linger in your voice.

He takes a deep breath. "I know this isn't entirely appropriate... but I'm wondering if you'll accompany me to a wedding on Saturday?"

There's a nervous glint in his eyes as he watches your reaction. Surely, you didn't hear him right... There's no possible way that your boss - the CEO of Lee Tech - just asked you to come with him to a WEDDING. The boss that says he doesn't want his employees dating. Your BOSS?

The panic starts to set in. You need to say no. You should say no. Can you say no? There's no way you can go as his date to anything, right? That's just... That's... absurd.

Sangyeon must see the emotions flitting across your face because he quickly attempts to distill your impending freakout. "This will in no way affect your job. I'll even pay you if you want."

He winces as he hears his words, and you pause long enough to consider if he's offering you a job as an escort or something. 

"That's not..." he sighs, one of his hands coming up to rub his temple. "My mother is trying to set me up with a blind date for my sister's wedding. In a moment of recklessness, I told her that I already had one. Now, I have to find someone to be my date, and it'll either be you or some stranger off the street."

Some of your panic dissipates. At least there's a reason behind why he's randomly asking you, and it's not that he's into you or anything. Still, you can't help but wonder why you're an option.

"There's no one else you can take?"

He only looks slightly uncomfortable when he responds. "There's no one else that I'm willing to take. No. I suppose if you tell me no, I can make one of those dating profiles, but... that seems more complicated than just asking you."

There's a part of you that's trying to figure out if you should be flattered or insulted by this entire situation. Not that it matters, but still.

"So, I can say no?"

He gives you a serious look. "Your answer will absolutely not affect your work in the slightest. If you say yes, that's great. Nothing will change. If you say no, I'll make one of those dating profiles and hope for the best."

Sangyeon's face, as he thinks about the second option, is comical. He looks like he'd rather have a root canal than get on a dating profile. That, paired with his claim that this changes absolutely nothing, helps relax you the rest of the way. One thing you've learned about him is that he means what he says.

"Okay."

"Okay?" He repeats with wide eyes like he's not sure he heard you properly.

You nod. "I'll be your fake date, but you have to come up with a cover story because I'm not doing that."

"Done. Fine. That's... great." He abruptly stands up from his seat. "Thank you."

Seeing Sangyeon so bent out of shape pleases you for some reason. It makes you feel like you're on the same playing level for once, and a part of you is dying to find out the backstory behind it and why he has an extreme aversion to dating. Hopefully, you'll find out when you get around his family.

----------------------------------

When you get home that night, you very much find yourself needing some bff time to decompress everything that's happened since you started the new job. Thankfully, you had the insight to text Kevin before you left work and asked begged him to come over asap.

What you didn't count on - though you one thousand percent should've - was him absolutely living for all of the mess you're telling him.

"Wait. Wait. Wait." Kevin waves his hand, his wine frighteningly close to spilling on your couch. "Which one did you sleep with?"

You sigh for the tenth time. "That's Sunwoo. Sangyeon is the one that asked me to the wedding."

"And which one is the sexy one?"

You purse your lips, already irritated by your answer. "Both of them."

Kevin lightly touches his face like he's going to cry. "I'm so proud of you. I always knew I raised you to be a hoe."

"Kevin! I am not being a hoe!" You toss our throw pillow at him, no longer caring if he drips some wine onto your plush couch.

"Shh," he holds up his hand. "Let me live in the moment."

You fall back until your head lands on the arm of the couch. Looking up at the ceiling, you contemplate how this is your life right now.

A hand pats your thigh, and you glance down at Kevin, who's giving you a look of fake sympathy. "It'll be okay. The wedding will be over before you know it, and everything will go back to normal."

"Do you really think so?"

He bites his lips and stares at you before it finally comes out. "Girl, you're going to a wedding with your boss! No! It's never going to be simple again."

You whine because you know he's probably right - no matter how much Sangyeon claims otherwise.

"What you need to do is take advantage of the situation."

Furrowing your brows, you ask, "How do I do that?'"

Kevin takes a small sip of his wine before he nonchalantly says, "You need to find out who has the bigger dick."

This time, the wine spilling all over your couch is your fault, but it's worth every single stain.

Tagging: @jungkooksworld18 @sungbeam @jenowithjaem @ilovechanhee @maybeifyoutrieddd @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @dontflailmenow @winterchimez @belle643

[penitent-stranger]

Whumpuary Jan 11-12 - Exhaustion / Blindfolded / Old Injuries

(cw: forced labor, abusive environment, loneliness, isolation)

In hindsight, he probably should have known his crew would leave him behind. Really, why else would a team assign the riskiest part of the job to their youngest and least-experienced member? He couldn't really blame them for the actual leaving part, either. Made sense. Why risk everyone getting bagged when you can just cut your losses and dead weight in one go and skedaddle?

And it wasn't like he could get mad at the other crew. They did catch him trying to break and steal their shit. They didn't stuff him through an airlock. They hadn't even shot him. All things considered, they didn't treat him much differently than his old crew had.

Sure, his old crew never blindfolded him or kicked him in the ribs until he couldn't breathe, but, like. He could tell they wanted to, sometimes. Most people did. He had very kickable ribs.

They threw him into a cargo hold as some sort of makeshift brig. The way they’d cuffed his hands behind his back wrenched the old break in his wrist from when he was twelve. He thought about faking tears to get them to cut him loose - or at least to secure his wrists in front instead - but after the first fifteen minutes, he didn't have to fake them. Pins and needles coursed through his hands. Pain shot through his wrist like it had when he’d first broken it, and it splintered up his forearm all the way to his elbow. 

He pressed his forehead to the floor and sobbed until someone heard him. They relented, eventually, and set his hands free. Even gave him a bit to get feeling back before handcuffing him again. Maybe he still looked enough like a teenager to make them feel guilty.

He still was a teenager, technically - but things like that didn’t usually matter in the Long Rim.

At some point, they pulled off the blindfold. The magcuffs stayed. The captain of the ship crouched in front of him, members of her crew crowding around menacingly as he looked up at her.

He had a debt to pay, she told him. Fix the shit he broke, and work to recoup the losses of what his crew had stolen from them. Had they actually grabbed anything worth taking? No one told him. He didn’t feel like asking. He supposed he’d just have to take their word for it.

They ran him ragged around the ship. Typical Northstar transport, barely staffed with enough people to fill two alternating shifts, let alone schedule any overlaps. He’d learned enough from his time in space to not burden anyone with a need for training, and growing up on a station made him handy with a wrench, at least. The things he didn’t know, he picked up quickly enough. The hardest part, though, was the bone-deep fatigue that plagued every waking moment.

Being exhausted all the time did have its perks. It never took long for him to fall asleep. He didn’t get the chance to lie awake for hours missing home - the parts of home worth missing, anyway. He didn't need the warmth of another body next to him or the smell of kitchen spices to help him relax anymore. As soon as the workday ended, he collapsed into his cot and simply passed out. 

The only times he didn't immediately fall unconscious were when his body ached too much for him to get comfortable. The shadowy silence of the ship’s night cycle did little to distract him from his sore muscles. Or to keep his mind from wandering. On nights like that, he curled on his side and tried not to remember the feeling of being held.

He did consider breaking things again, just out of spite. Based on their reaction whenever he messed up on accident, though, he decided not to test it. It was hard enough to work through the itch of dried blood on the inside of his nose, or bruised fingers from where they’d been stomped on. He didn’t want to imagine the punishment for willful negligence.

The captain locked him in the cargo hold again for the first few times the ship docked for refueling. Sans blindfold, this time. Which - he had to admit - was a plus. They did gag him, though. Belting out spacer shanties until his voice grew hoarse and kicking random crates in protest didn’t go over very well with the crew they left behind.

He suspected this kind of discipline was less to keep him in line specifically, but to send a message to the rest of the crew. With such few hands, the captain couldn’t afford to lose any to desertion. She also couldn’t afford harsher measures to prevent it. Not without risking mutiny. Luckily, she had someone aboard who couldn’t hit back. And he always lived to please.

In time - and after enough beatings - they didn’t consider him as great of a flight risk. They let him roam the ship freely when they touched down. A few stops without incident, and they started sending him out with a small group. Always with a hand gripping the back of his neck, and never far from the loading docks. But at least he could stretch his legs. Look at something more than twenty feet away.

When he saw other people for the first time, he fought back the urge to call for help. There wasn’t anything stopping him, really. Just the knowledge that if he did, he’d sport a wonderful array of bruises the next morning. Or maybe they’d stick him in the cargo hold again with the heat turned down. That had been a fun night.

Besides, no one would believe him anyway. And who would even care? He hadn’t seen a star chart in months, but he knew they were nowhere near Calliope. The planet’s resident honor-bound crusader pirates didn’t make it out this far, and no one else really gave a shit about stuff they saw all the time.

Best to play along, for now. The crew’s contract would run out eventually. Or maybe he’d manage to slip away, one of these days.

On one of these jolly little outings, he let his eyes scan the clusters of people gathered around the station terminal. One group in particular grabbed his attention, and only partially because of the obnoxiously huge mechs they stood next to. Swatches of sky blue stood out on their plugsuits. No other markings. 

Were they that close to the Dawnline Shore? No one ever told him the details of where they were going, but he’d been able to pick a few things up. They were close-ish. Still not Ungratefuls-hanging-out-in-port close though.

He kept staring as he walked by, and one of the lancers happened to glance his way. She caught his eyes. For the first time in months, something other than fear or loneliness squeezed at his heart. She saw him. Someone in this godsforsaken wasteland of space actually saw him.

A blue plugsuit alone did not an Ungrateful make. He knew that, of course. However.

Things couldn’t really get any worse, could they?

Taking the first chance he got, he broke away from his crew and bolted toward the lancers. He nearly careened into them, but managed to catch himself on the woman’s arm before completely losing his balance. 

“Please-” he gasped. “You gotta help me. I’m a prisoner on the Diligence. They’re making me work for them, and-”

A hand latched onto the back of his shirt and yanked him away. He’d stopped struggling against whatever the crew threw his way a long time ago, but he struggled now. He tried to fight his way to his feet so he could walk without being dragged, for all the good that did him.

“We spit on the hand that feeds us because it’s not our own hand!”

A savage pull on his shirt collar choked out any other words before they could form.

He was in the cargo hold again when the attack came. He could hardly stand to lift his head off of the floor at the sound of yelling and running outside, nor could he bring himself to care. He always figured he’d die on the ground, curled up like some sort of bug. He was already halfway there. Might as well add a pool of his own blood to lie in.

Human voices gave way to more aggressive sounds: the screeching metal of hangar doors wrenched open, booming rattles of impossibly heavy footsteps. Ooo, stepped on by a mech. That was certainly a way to go.

The noise stopped after a bit. That certainly didn’t take long. Feeling some sort of survival instinct kick in, he dragged his arms underneath him and pushed himself at least halfway upright. He was looking around for some sort of improvised weapon when the doors to the cargo hold opened. He froze.

The woman from the station came into view. The Ungrateful he'd all but crashed into. She scanned the hold until she saw him, then knelt down in front of him. Smiled in a familiar way that made his chest ache.

“Hey, kiddo,” she said. “It’s alright. I’m not here to hurt you.”

He blinked the eye that wasn’t swollen shut and swallowed. He should probably say something. His arm buckled instead, and he nearly collapsed back to the floor.

The Ungrateful caught him before he could fall. She helped him sit up again, and kept a hand on his shoulder to steady him as he swayed in place. The contact made his skin buzz under his sleeve. The first touch of explicit care since…he shoved all thoughts of her out of his mind.

“The sky is as much yours as anyone else’s,” the woman said. “What’s your name, comrade?”

Despite himself, he grinned. There was probably blood between his teeth, but it was the most genuine smile he'd cracked in months. “Call me Kick-back.”

[dumplingsjinson]

Honestly, I really feel for you dealing w/ cat guy. My first relationship was also in my 20's. 21-23; I'm 28 now and if I had to give some advice that I wish I learned sooner. It would be that

"The people who deserve the benefit of the doubt, rarely fucking need it."

When I think back on that relationship and even old friendships, the only reason they sustained themselves as long as they did was BECAUSE I was constantly giving the benefit of the doubt and rationalizing their behavior probably more than they did. It wasn't until I was 25+ did I start to take those rose-colored glasses off and realize, we are adults here. You are conscious of your behavior, ESP when you have someone like you and myself, who gain the courage to communicate how their behavior is effecting us.

If they are not changing their behavior after said communication, there's your answer. You're not compatible, they are not mature enough to maintain the type of relationships you want to have in your life and that's fine.

My first partner and I had good communication, we did care for each other a lot, and tried to work on things as much as we could, but ultimately. We were growing at different paces and that's okay. It hurt, but it was for the best. 3 years in and we were still having the same conversations. I get wanting to work on things, so I stayed and was patient like you are doing now. kudos!

He began doing that thing, that I think someone else mentioned, where, they pretty much create a hostile environment within the relationship (coldness, ignoring, doing things they know you don't like, passively involved with dating/ bounding activities, entertaining other connections) until you address their behavior and eventually you break up with them. They put the weight and pressure on you to pull the plug b/c they are too passive, cowardly honestly, to do it themselves. I think that hurt the most b/c it doesn't matter how open and understanding you are. How patient you've been and encouraging.

A person who lies to themself, (makes excuses for themselves) will lie to you too. A person who doesn't want to face their demons will sabotage a relationship with a person like you, who will face them with uncomfortable conversations.

Now as I am older, vagueness and uncertainty is a red flag. Even if you are uncertain, that is something you can communicate. I date to marry and I don't go on dating apps so I can't give advice there. Although, imo the moment you became official, accounts should have been deactivated/deleted.

I also realized as "traditional" or "cliche" as it may seem. I want to be asked to be you gf. This generation started this thing where we play a relationship until one day were like, "Are we a couple?" and the other is like "Yeah. Isn't it obvious?" (my 1st was like this as well) NO! lmao Where was the declaration to be exclusive?? That is key!

I want ppl who are as considerate of me as I am of them and I am sure you are like this as well. Someone who will shoot me a text saying "hey, I'm going to be swamped with X-Y &Z this coming week so I won't be on my phone as much," or "Thinking of you," Even if that's the only text I get for a couple of days.

It was only in situations where I was going a week or two with nothing that made me get "clingy". I learned that the "anxiety" and overthinking was one, a defense mechanism, and two, indicated to me that there was some need not being met.

I applaud you for acknowledging your faults, but ppl who are the "problem" rarely even do that, so I am sure you're not over thinking. lol

Your intuition should not be ignored. "How a relationship begins, is ultimately exactly how it will end"

It's also fine to not do long distance. It doesn't work for some people and that's okay too <3

First of all, thank you for this, and for sharing your experience. 

Honestly, he did change his behaviour after the first time I told him about my overthinking and my anxiety, but he fell back on old habits recently, which is why I had to address the issue again. I do understand how draining work can be for him, and I’ve had bouts where I’ve done the same thing of not texting someone or just completely ignoring people (have done the same to him too, ngl) because I was too mentally drained to even want to converse with someone or reply to someone. Like, you’ll see me active, but I only have the mental capacity to mindlessly scroll and like things but not enough capacity to reply to you. 

I choose to believe he can sustain this behaviour, but obviously if I have to keep reminding him in the future then I do realise things aren’t going to work out. And I want to believe if he really doesn’t see things working out, he’s going to fucking tell me instead of not doing shit about it and finding someone else behind my back.

Perhaps he is conscious of his behaviour — we all are, let’s be honest, but the extent may vary — but I also think he’s genuinely someone who struts around, no thoughts head empty and I mean this in the least offensive way possible. And I also think being conscious of one’s behaviour doesn’t mean you’re conscious of how your behaviour could hurt someone, if that makes sense? And sometimes it takes a bit of a nudge for you to realise you’re fucking it up for someone else. Because I’ve been that person who’s been conscious of their behaviour, yet doesn’t realise the amount of hurt she’s caused with that behaviour until it’s been directly slapped in her face. It’s still something I’m trying to get better at, and I’ve failed many a times, and still fail at at times.

And I think this distance thing has been a real struggle for him, as it is for me because as I’ve said before, I did think of breaking up during the whole thing. I did think maybe things wouldn’t work out and I should just call it quits. I did think maybe I should just find someone else instead, instead of staying and seeing if things could work out. I did think of upping and leaving and breaking his heart just to save my own. Many times. Even recently, few days before the whole Hinge thing. I’m selfish, in a way because I want to save myself from the hurt and I’ve seriously contemplated on that.

…Do you see why I need therapy? 

Anyway, it doesn’t excuse what he did because it’s wrong that he did that and I think he realises it, but I think it’s a mere plausible explanation of why he did that wishy washy slippy sloppy shit, especially considering how he broke up with his last ex because of long distance. 

I do believe he’s going to do better (or at least I want to believe he will do better) because from the amount of time I’ve known him, I don’t think he’s going to be someone who would, as you’ve said,  “create a hostile environment within the relationship.” I know it’s going to hurt like shit if it doesn’t work out even after I’ve been patient with him but I’m willing to try, and I’m willing to not give up for now. I choose to believe he can change and that he will stick to actually being more transparent with me instead of doing wishy washy shit, and if I can drag his ass out of that shell of his then I’m going to fucking do it. Maybe I’m just a stubborn piece of shit who’s willing to get herself hurt in the process.

As they say, DO IT FOR THE PLOT (where it perhaps may end up with me having to heal in the trenches AHAHA, but let’s hope that’s not going to be the case). 

Yeah, the accounts thing is also something I probably should have discussed with him the moment we became official, or even when we first became exclusive; would have avoided a lot of grief that’s happening right now LOL, so I do think I’m also at fault I didn’t immediately call for deletion because honestly, I was also wanting to keep my account paused and dormant but ready to be reactivated if things don’t end up working out. And I’ll be honest, I did occasionally check to see if he’d change up the details since he did that when we were casually dating, so I kind of kept my account up for that reason too. So this trust is definitely going to have to be rebuilt, and I also need to learn to trust someone more (just in general) because I’m someone who finds it hard to trust people easily which isn’t going to fly in any relationship. Constantly suspicious for no reason is tiring and damaging, I do realise that. (Which is why uh… THERAPY?) 

Again, I’ve done as he did with the whole “purely chatting and looking for friends thing”, which I’ve elaborated in my other post so yeah, I think that’s why I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. 

As for the relationship thing, I personally am someone who doesn’t mind not being asked to be someone’s girlfriend; just as long as we’re on the same page then I’m good. But of course, personal preferences varies which is understandable lolol. I will say he did try to make a conscious effort of doing what you said; shooting me a text to ask how I am, and texting those other things as well. I’ll be honest, I’ve completely fallen short on that myself, simply because I find myself to be annoying when I message him with anything like that. Biggest flaw about me is when I start to like someone, I end up drawing back. And it probably makes me look like an asshole who doesn’t initiate conversations, or simply someone who doesn’t care. I am trying to do better on this front though, cause it would be hypocritical of me to expect him to do the initiating to ease my mind while I do nothing like that in return. I have been pretty hypocritical thus far since he’s usually the one initiating, usually the one telling me all that sweet stuff, usually the one being “considerate”. Maybe he doesn’t need as much as reassurance as I do but I can’t be giving him nothing in return. I’ve got communication issues myself (again, not just in romantic relationships) which I’m tryna work on. 

But he’s never left me hanging for a week, so I’ll give him that LMFAO. However, let me just go off topic for a bit and mention how long distant dude left me hanging for weeks? Months? Yep. So I know how that shit feels, and I’m glad cat guy is at least not that much of a fucking prickass bitch. 

The long distance thing is only temporary; it isn't like, permanent lmao, or I would have just broken it off with him completely (or he would have done that with me since we both know he can't handle that shit based on how he broke up with his ex last time). I also don’t think I can do long distance myself, and this whole thing right now is proving it. Long distant dude should have been a clue-in, honestly.

I thank you for saying I’m probably not overthinking, but I know my brain is wired a little differently and I’m just someone who overthinks literally everything. Not just in relationships. And then I end  up doing shit wrong because of my overthinking. I’m also not exactly squeaky clean myself in this whole thing; part of the problem, honestly. The only difference is I’m aware of it and I’m trying to be better, yet I still fall short. 

And I hope he can, too, if he’s willing to work with me on this. I honestly think he probably had shit going on when he was dating those two other people, and the communication was probably at rockbottom, which is why he’s never learned to communicate properly. And he also seems like someone who bottles up his feelings and emotions. Obviously these are all assumptions based on various observations of mine (such as me being around his family and seeing how he interacts with them; hearing him talk about how his friend group doesn’t seem to really open up about things — hell, they don’t even know who’s dating and who’s not LMFAO, etc.) 

What I am learning from dating is that a lot of people need therapy, myself included. 

Again, I don't really trust my intuition simply because I know I'm someone who overthinks everything, even the simplest of things, and honestly, I think social media and different opinions have made it harder for me to decide what's true and what's not. I've been seeing so many blanket statements made about the situation I'm kind of in, and it genuinely hurts because I want to believe things can be different and that there are exceptions, however small of a chance there is. Call me a fool, but I want to see if things will work out. And if I get hurt, that’s on me, but at least I know I’ve given it my all. Obviously I hope things don’t turn sour lol. 

I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt for my own sake at this point, because I need a peace of mind, and I want to move on from this and hope for the best in the future. Obviously if he fucks me over, he’s going to fuck himself over too because it’s going to hurt him if I break if off with him — I’m very confident of that, at the very least. 

But yeah, perhaps I’m a little delusional, but I’m ready to move the fuck on and parade on and hope for the best. It’s either heartbreak or triumph for me at this point wekfnfklewn

[rise-my-angel]

I think what's great about how you depict women is that it's a discussion and not just telling us about the condition of living in such a patriarchal environment. My best example would be when you show the reader interacting with Cersei. Like in the recent chapter, I was beginning to see where a lot of readers more subtle trauma was coming from through her talking to Cersei. Hope this makes sense.

This honestly took me a bit to answer, because it genuinely made me think for a bit. I was writing my newest chapter and part of me was worried, "Is my writing actually sexist? Are they right?" Then you sent me this and it sort of put it into better perspective.

My issue with a lot of asoiaf reader/oc fics, tends to be that there is a need to copy the Talisa effect. We all know the issues with their feudal society and how it doesn't match todays progressive views. But Talisa was a mouthpiece created by the writers to try and over compensate when the books had no need for it. Grrm did not write "anti war" or "anti sexism" or "anti monarchy" characters. He wrote people. Just normal people who we see not the structure of the society explained to us, but we understand HOW that society effects people in the way it has influenced certain characters.

We do not need a character to tell Robb that war is wrong, beacuse Arya's entire point of view in the books is to showcase that damage of war. She is out in the world on the run and she is never not surrounded by the damage of war. We don't need to be told it's bad, we see the starvation and desolation the realm is in during a Feast for Crows just by way of how poor, hungry, and desperate everyone is.

But I hated that fics, and now hotd, tended to write women just like Talisa. Overcompensating for what progressive modern views disagree with. I wanted a reader who does not just act as a relatable protagonist. I wanted her to exist in the world she lives in.

A highborn girl, raised in the royal family. She would not grow up with the freedom to question this, or doubt the system or her role. But there are cracks. Hints that it isn't as easy as she's been led to believe, and while Cersei is trying to be genuine, all it does is reinforce the opposite extreme. That now everything you learned is a lie, and your role is not just to serve, but now to suffer.

There's no inbetween. But too you were never raised to blame someone for it. She wasn't comfortable with Roberts infidelity beacuse she was an outsider. But now, Cersei has told her that her marriage with Robert is the inevitable for women like them, and now that you are coming to a similar stage with Jon, do you realize that you should have long since prepared yourself. You don't blame Jon for whatever cheating he would potentially commit, you blame yourself for thinking that you were different enough that it would not happen.

I never wanted her role as a woman in the series to be a statement, or to challenge the status quo. The reader's womanhood is not a bigger message, it's simply about one woman's journey with her place in the world. And I simply never wanted to make it seem black and white or feel easy to overcome.

Neither Sansa nor Arya's opposite journeys in regard to their own womanhood and femininity are easy, and I asked myself, so what does the middle look like?

And the answer, is that the middle is no less complicated.

[dragonmun]

Decided to participate in an unofficial way with MerMay this year. I'm not the fastest artist in the world, so I decided to be kind to myself and just do one painting a week. Each of the 4 7x10in watercolor originals are still available for purchase.

Image 1: My daughter requested that I paint a "manatee cosplaying a mermaid," and y'all... I just had to! We also went to EPCOT at the start of the month, where we saw cuttlefish, which just do this little bull-dog thing that's so stinking cute, I decided to paint one acting kind of like a frenchie. 🥰 Image 2: This Blue Dragon / Glaucus Atlanticus mermaid is just a pretty sea creature I wanted to paint. The water in the background is upside down because it wasn't until after I sketched it out that I learned these little creatures float belly-up to hunt. I like the disorienting effect it has... because that pretty well explains the mood I was in when I was painting it. Image 3:

I wanted to paint a betta fish merman for a while as a means to kind of distantly commemorate the fish I had as a kid. I remember pining after these fish every time we went into the pet store and when we finally got one I named it Mufasa and he lived in my mom's five gallon fish tank with Malebolgia, her psychic goldfish. Even though Mufasa changed appearance a few times (I'll explain in a moment), M & M got along just fine. They just sort of swam around and kept to themselves - until Mufasa's greatest enemy appeared. Then Mufasa would lose his shit.

Mufasa's greatest enemy was Mufasa, also known as his reflection. Betta fish are incredibly territorial and will attack other fish (not named Malebolgia) and their own reflections. We did what we could to keep the fish from being able to see themselves inside the tank, but I don't known if it was the sun at certain times of day or what, but poor Mufasa would occasionally fight himself to the death.

My parents did that thing where they tried to save a child's heart by replacing Mufasa with a look-alike, but I knew and kept the name. I had three Mufasas before I realized our tank wasn't ever going to be a good environment for them. They were such feisty and beautiful fish.

The shape in the background of this painting is of a mirror, a reflection, which ultimately did all of the Mufasa fish in.

Image 4:

Growing up, my mom had this weird goldfish that had these gnarly bubbles on his head. Won't lie, that fish creeped me out. So much so that I named him "Malebolgia" after the bad guy in my favorite comic series at the time. Well, he survived sharing a tank with a few betta fish, other goldfish, and a shark, so I can only assume that those bubbles were his psychic means of keeping his tankmates from bothering him. I want to say that they made him look intelligent, but he also are rocks.

[practically-an-x-man]

1, 4, 5, 22, 26, 42, 44, 48 for Quinn and Gia

Thank you!!

Specific But Helpful Character Asks

What’s the lie your character says most often?

Quinn: Good old "I'm fine". She's rarely ever "fine" - she's always in pain, jealous of the people who aren't in pain, and pushing herself too hard in an attempt to keep pace.

Gia: She gives out fake names at coffee shops and similar places, since she's paranoid that HYDRA could still be tracking her. Logically it wouldn't matter what name she uses, if they're tracking her that's not going to stop them, but it still makes her uncomfortable to hear her name shouted out in a crowded room of strangers.

4. What’s a hobby they used to have that they miss?

Quinn: Parkour!! She'd do anything to get back to it

Gia: I feel like she'd really be the Ren Faire type - full historical outfits, elaborate improv with the hired crew, one year she even made a bunch of flower crowns and gave them out. She fell out of it after HYDRA, since there's no faires close enough to the city to warrant leaving her shop and she can't enjoy it with all the anxiety that crops up. (okay maybe this is just an excuse for her and Kate to go to a Ren Faire together since I think that would be so fun)

5. Can they cry on command? If so, what do they think about to make it happen?

Quinn: No. The only time she ever really cries is out of pain, and even then it's rare. She's really not a big crier.

Gia: If she really had to, she probably could - by thinking about the worst of her time in HYDRA, or the fact that her brother's probably still grieving her because she's too afraid to get back in touch. It's not exactly a skill she's practiced, though.

22. What simple activity that most people do / can do scares your character?

Quinn: Going down stairs. Going up stairs is fine most of the time, but going down stairs is both more painful and more dangerous, and she's anxious at the thought of putting her weight down wrong and tumbling all the way down.

Gia: Vacations, even day-trips like going to a zoo or museum in the city. She's got a lot of anxiety about being separated from her clover, so she rarely leaves her shop for longer than is strictly necessary.

26. How would they respond to being fired by a good boss?

Quinn: Hates authority with a burning passion, so no boss is ever a "good boss". Whatever she did to get fired, she probably deserved it, so she just goes out- though she nabs a few things on her way out and flips off the security cameras.

Gia: She's self-employed, but if she were in that situation she'd probably keep her composure just long enough to get back to her apartment and then spend an hour or two crying.

42. If invited to a TED Talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be?

Quinn: She's more likely to pick something completely at random and just bullshit her way through until someone tries to call her out on it. There are topics she could legitimately present on, but where's the fun in that?

Gia: Something to do with botany or flowers - maybe a discussion on why grass lawns are detrimental to the environment, and what alternatives are healthier for the native flora and pollinators?

44. What language would be easiest for them to learn? Why?

Quinn: Hm... I like to think that she picked up a bit of Punjabi from one of her nurses, while she was in that long stint in the hospital - he knew she got uncomfortable with the needles, treatments, etc. and would teach her words and phrases in Punjabi as a distraction. If she put her mind to learning it fully, she's already got a bit of a head start.

Gia: Greek. She doesn't speak Greek herself, but her family is ethnically Greek and she's heard it spoken here and there growing up.

48. Who would they say ‘yes’ to if invited to do something they abhorred / strongly didn’t want to do?

Quinn: Honestly... nobody. In theory, Billy, but he knows her well enough that he wouldn't ask her to do those things in the first place.

Gia: Unless it involves her physical health or safety... she's a bit of a pushover, and would say yes to just about anyone who puts up a convincing argument.

[thebleedingeffect]

i am so SO excited you're playing skyward sword. skwsd is my absolute fav zelda game, and i love skysd link so much, he is my little guy, my dude, the love of my life. how are you liking it? how far are you?

I'm enjoying skyward sword immensely!! Admittedly, at first I was little hesitant to get super into the game pass the intro forest temple because of how decisive this game seems to be. People seemed to either hate or be neutral to this game but I decided to play it anyway cause I do love loz and it seemed fun!! But I'm genuinely happy that I decided to play it anyway despite what the louder part of the loz community has said cause I'm truly enjoying myself a bunch.

The npcs are super animated and I love how much personality they have, even the rude ones, it just makes me happy to see how animated and diverse in personality that skyloft is! I love the little remlits and just how damn cute they are <33 I legit refuse to hurt them or throw them off cliffs they're so so cute I adore them!! Another thing that I like is that the game gives you a bunch of incentive to help fellow npcs and it gives you great rewards for doing so. It makes me actually want to look around skyloft and talk to people which is even better cause it gives me more opportunities to learn of the npcs!

I also fucking LOVE the dowsing feature, it's genuinely so great and helps me out a bunch in wanting to find objects naturally and not wanting to resort to guides. It's just nice cause I can stay in the game and find stuff at my own pace :]

ANOTHER THING!! I love how fucking COLORFUL everything is!! I am playing the HD version on the switch so I know the graphics are improved but even still! The environments and dungeons are all so pretty to look at and I llooovveedddd the ancient cistern :DDD also going back to skyward sword made me remember how much I love classic dungeon crawlers and how much I missed them in botw/totk </333 the puzzles are also very fun and are well-designed so that's a massive plus.

And uh... I've made it to the part where sksw Zelda meets with sksw Link after he managed to get all of the goddesses flames and tells him the whole deal. I genuinely did not expect for that entire scene to hit me as hard as it did but I'm really happy I managed to avoid spoilers for this long cause holy shit, holy shit. That entire conversation is so expertly written and I love how it characterizes the both of them, how they were both forced to grow up out of desperation. sksw Zelda telling Link that she was so sorry that she used him and his devotion to her?? That she knew that he would chase after her no matter what and she couldn't stay or tell him anything because the world needed a hero? That she was so sorry but she had to do it because it wasn't just them anymore, they had grown up and now the responsibility of the world was on their shoulders.

The little line of her saying that she would've been so happy to just with him on Skyloft for all their days and that she holds those memories so dear to her is just an absolute gut punch. It's so expertly written cause I feel like it would've been so easy to make her into a selfish, cruel character thanks to this conversation, but it's so wonderfully done that I fully understand why she did it. It's a case of fate demanding the worse of choices into their hands and they can do absolutely nothing about it because for as much as they love each other- neither of them could sit back and watch the world suffer. Of course, what she did wasn't good but that's the point! She hates herself for having to lie and cause him pain, for dragging him into this because she could see no other to ever be her hero.

The tragic thing is that I very much doubt it was ever in sksw Zelda's control, I think that sksw Link was always meant to be the hero and fate has a heavy hand in this game. Her motivations sort of remind me of oot Zelda's actually, blaming herself for circumstances out of her control, having to constantly stay out of reach, and having to grow up so fast. Both of them had to be the lights on the horizon that directed their heroes, but always just out of reach because he's the hero and she's the goddess, it's always so much bigger than either of them.

I've only gotten this far yet but god, GOD! This isn't even half my thoughts about the entire deal but Zelda constantly going back and forth from referring to herself with Zelda and Hylia?? Ouch??? The sudden instability of your own image... of feeling like everything you've ever known has been predestined... do you hate yourself for your past actions in another life? Do you hate her-you- for this inevitable fate that you and your hero are doomed to for reasons that you'll always blame yourself for? Does she hate herself even more that Link did exactly that, run after her, prove Hylia-herself- right? Does she feel responsible for all the physical, emotional, and mentall pain that Link has grown through in order to become the hero that the world needs? For forcing him to grow up with her when all they ever wanted was to be together and be torn apart at every single point?

Do NOT get me started on sksw Link oh my ggogoodosso ad dwshdi HELP! He's so fucking TRAGIC and PAINFUL TO EVEN THINK ABOUT! How every single person he meets he always tells them that he's looking for someone and he always seems to be in a hurry because he can't be late, not again. The sheer desperation, the unapologetic love, the personality, the inherent sacrificial nature, always looking into the past while running after Zelda- HELP ME!!! But I think one of the most painful parts to me... is that I really don't think Link blames Zelda at all, for any of it. How painful of a thought is it that I think he'd be perfectly open splitting himself on the master sword for her and he wouldn't blame her on his last breath? Would she believe him? Would she believe that she singlehandedly orchestrated the death of her hero after putting him through so much pain?

Another thing is that he isolates himself, he helps people whenever he can but there's so much guilt and isolation swirling around in him as well as the crushing weight of his destiny that he just realized. One key theme I find in the game is that early on it's stated that Link is different, from everything from the knight's academy, to Impa telling him only he can do it, to Groose trying and failing to be that hero. It doesn't feel like a blessing, it feels like a destiny he could've never avoided and he was always going to be the hero who's blood was split to protect others. Link was always going to be the one who ends up alone while everyone else stays in the past, together but eternally waiting for him- or moreso, waiting for the hero that he's forced to become. It genuinely makes me so sad that he only had Fi for the longest time but even then... she's not much more than a guide, at least at first. I really don't feel like he'd be comfortable or even believe that Fi would understand, not when she's under even stricter instructions than him.

So yeah uhhhhhhhh you could say I'm enjoying the game a bunch!! I'm waiting to finish the game before talking a BUNCH about it on the dash and flooding my blog with sksw reblogs but I'm enjoying myself so much!! Also I just missed the triforce so so much- DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I RESENTED THE SECRET STONES FOR TAKING MY BABYGIRL THE TRIFORCE AWAY??? I literally do not care about the secret stones, bring back the triforce I love her so so soooooo much and every single time I see any sort of triforce imagery I start crying and throwing up !

[julianxhunter]

✦ DJ COTRONA, MALE, HE/HIM ✦ JULIAN HUNTER the THIRTY-SEVEN year old has been in Hidehill for THIRTY YEARS and was a ACQUAINTANCE to Ronnie Nilsson, the most recent shadow of Hidehill. Whispers on the  streets are that the NEW OWNER OF THE PLAYPEN who lives in HARTLEY AVENUE are said to be VENTURESOME and MEDDLESOME but I guess we’ll find out for ourselves. 

TW: drugs, gambling

ABOUT

Georgia born to a single mother who claimed she couldn’t be too sure on who his father could be, it was a lie but one Julian never bothered to pick at because the sad eyes she looked at him with said enough and the lack of a father didn’t do much for him when he had so many others looking after him regardless. His mother was a stripper and some of her co-workers were seen more as family who helped raise him while they shared the roof over their heads which never changed from Georgia to Tennessee. At least when they landed in Hidehill they had their own place in Hadley Park. 

With the lifestyle his mother partook in and seemed to have no desire in giving up, maybe he grew up a little quicker and eventually more independently than his peers but in Julian’s eyes what she had done for him was always enough. Even when things were rough for them financially or when she deep dived into the world of drugs, he never saw her as a bad person just unprepared for motherhood. 

School was pretty easy for him to get through when it came to his grades but it was typically overshadowed by the trouble he constantly got himself into, blame boredom. From a young age Julian liked making money. When he was little it came in reward to chores, little jobs within the town; walking dogs, mowing lawns etc. The older he got, the more he wanted and the riskier he got of how he got that money. In reality, being introduced to the world of gambling was a safer option in regards to some of the other things he had done at that age. 

He definitely shouldn’t have been allowed at the table but the company he had while gambling weren’t exactly saints and they figured it was easy money to take home for themselves. Unfortunately for them, Julian learned quick and when he really began emptying their pockets they stopped letting him in which only left him to go elsewhere to throw his money around. Eventually that became his main source of income, in poker specifically, especially when he could actually enter tournaments it only took one big win to hold him over for a while till the money ran low and he did it again. 

The unofficial half job he did as a bouncer at the playpen practically fell into his lap. Being that he grew up around that kind of environment, he didn’t have much tolerance for the customers that overstepped their boundaries nor was he afraid to make it known. Eventually with time and his friendship to Cristal it became official position with more and with the years of that friendship she had entrusted him with the place if anything ever happened, something he thought would never matter until it did. With her death, the keys were handed over to him and all he could do was make sure the transition went smoothly. 

DETAILS + WC

For tournaments he would often fly out to different places and if it was a real big win, he’d fuck off for a month or two without much of a mention as to where. 

He thought because he didn’t grow up with much, the drive to have money went hand in hand with wanting to live more lavishly but he was wrong. His home in Hartley Avenue would often stay empty until WC took his offer to use it since he hardly ever stays there.

Same goes for the trailer he kept in Hadley Park although he feels more at home there, since he scarcely used it after getting his house in Hartley and made no plans to part with it, he let WC stay in it.

[omegasquire]

Rose Gold: Ch 16

Just like when he had stepped through the marsh with Zack and Red, the environment around Cloud felt as real as reality. The only difference was that there was nobody around. Just as he had put in the settings, the town was empty. Only the buildings and nature surrounded him. Not even the sound of birds greeted his ears, giving the place a sense of haunting.

It was a bit eerie, but Cloud pushed the feeling aside as he took his first step into the empty town. The last time he had set foot in the real Nibelheim was over a year ago. No, that wasn’t the real Nibelheim either; it was a fabrication by Shinra to cover up the incident. The Nibelheim that he and those of AVALANCHE had crossed through was foreign to him. Though the buildings all looked the same, the people were different. Their stories were different. Everything about that place was odd.

This simulation that Cloud was in right now felt just as foreign, if not more-so. Stopping before the center square, Cloud’s gaze shifted up to the broken water tower that always seemed to hold up through all forms of weather until that nightmarish day. Looking at it lifted memories from the corners of his mind, of a time when he was young and ignorant, hopeful that he might achieve this grandiose dream.

At the same time, it brought forth a sense of rejection. Cloud had divorced himself from Nibelheim, no longer calling it his hometown. The Nibelheim that stood in his reality was a lie, his true home long since turned to ashes during his teenage years. The place he called his home now was Edge: a place that would take years to grow and stand on its two legs, a place that was full of scars and damaged souls, a place that gave him and his family a second chance.

Tifa was there, so were Marlene and Denzel, and their friends would always have somewhere to visit, relax and chat about their current life or reminisce about old times. Each of them was recovering from the tragedies that befell them and learning how to find a new purpose. Home. That was his home.

But who knew what was going on over there right now?

Cloud had no idea. His abrupt arrival in this parallel world didn’t even let him have the peace of mind of knowing if his friends and family were safe. Did Yazoo and Loz die? Did anyone know what happened to him? Did they think he was dead too?

Cloud pushed back those thoughts, as he had many times now, knowing that he wouldn’t have an answer no matter how much he questioned it. A part of him was bitter at Gaia for placing him here, but he remembered her plea and resolved himself to aid her even if he had no idea how.

Maybe if he could do whatever she wanted him to do, he could go back.

That was his wish. Especially in this stifling place that rejected him just as he rejected Nibelheim, he would do whatever he needed to in order to return home.

It was just easier said than done when there were so many obstacles in his way...

Not just his own friends treating him with hostility or wariness, but now there were these three men who were his lookalikes. Cloud didn’t even know where to begin. Pausing just before the water well, Cloud reached out his hand to touch one of the support beams. Somewhere in this simulation, somewhere in this town, there had to be an answer. A hint. Something.

Anything to lead him to understand who Strife was, his past, and why these events were happening. What Rufus had said was right: they were assuming too much that these Strife-lookalikes would behave like the remnants Cloud knew of. If there was some common denominator, then it was that they were reflections of the original body. The problem was that Sephiroth and Strife were different.

The question was how were they different? To start it, Cloud didn’t even fully understand Kadaj and his brothers. He didn’t know what aspects they represented of Sephiroth. Trying to figure out information like that wasn’t his forte; it was better left to one of the others. Unfortunately, those said “others” in this world weren’t likely to extend their hand out to him right away.

Which left him with the decision that he needed to focus more on Strife.

“Who...” he muttered to himself as he looked around. “Who was he? What happened to me here?”

Taking his hand away from the beam, Cloud turned his gaze to the other side of the town. It was the house that looked exactly like the one he grew up in.

“What about Mom?” He stopped and frowned. Surely he had a mom here too. If she was anything like his own mother, then she wouldn’t give Strife a reason to abandon all humanity. “Did something happen to her...?”

He didn’t like thinking about it, but he had to. If something had happened to Strife’s mom, then maybe he had no attachment to this place. But then what about the kids? Tifa? Was Strife treated the same way that Cloud was when he was a kid?

Cloud hesitated, wondering if going into that house would offer any answers, but in the end turned away. If Strife destroyed Nibelheim, then that house wouldn’t have any of Strife’s memories or belongings.

If he had to guess, the fabricated Nibelheim he was walking through right now was probably based on the recreated one post-incident.

Letting out a breath, Cloud turned his attention to another place. Just beyond the town, perched on its own hill as if to look down on the residents, stood a building that gave a sense of foreboding. The iron gate and tall fence denied people entry, discouraging any curious folks from snooping around the place. The fact that it had the name “Shinra” attached to it was another reason to avoid it.

Shinra Mansion.

The chances of him getting any answers here were slim to none, but he was going to look anyway.

“Easier than trying to talk to either of them,” he sighed and started to head for the mansion.

The only sound that followed his steps was the crunch of gravel under his boots. When he made it to the front gate, he pushed it open. The hinges had seen better days and made a sound that was too loud in this silent place. Cloud slipped inside the gap and continued to the front doors.

As soon as he opened it, a musty smell buffeted his nose. Despite being the one place that had survived the fire, Shinra Mansion didn’t see any use. It wasn’t cleaned or aired out; the furniture was aged and torn; the drapes were barely holding on and full of moth-eaten holes; the carpet was dirty and no longer held its original lustrous color. Just like the town, the mansion was devoid of life.

Cloud looked around, leaving the front door open to shed light on this otherwise dark foyer, and followed his memory up the steps to the second floor. Just like the mansion from his world, the general layout of this one was the same. It looked like some of the taste in décor was different, but he didn’t pay it any attention as he headed for the room at the far right.

It took a bit of searching, but he was able to trigger the mechanism to open the secret passage down to the basement. Where normal mansions had a basement for certain appliances and storage means, this mansion had a separate one that held many secrets.

Staring down the dimly lit spiral staircase that led to the bottom, Cloud felt his heart thump strongly against his chest. Without realizing it, apprehension had worked its way into his muscles, making him hesitate as memories rose up.

No matter how many years passed, he would still remember those awful days. That pain. That fear. That desperation and rage. He could close his eyes and recall the heat that enveloped his body, the smoke that invaded his lungs, the screams in his ears, the tears on his cheeks. No amount of manipulation or whatever brainwashing that had been put on him could erase such a vivid nightmare. Just being here in this simulation was enough to bring up that awful memory.  

“Time doesn’t heal everything,” he muttered bitterly, and shook his head.

Shoving those images to the back of his mind, Cloud descended the steps. The further he went, the more stifling the atmosphere got, but he didn’t stop. Once he was at the bottom, his hand searched for a switch on the wall and flipped it once his fingers brushed over it. Dull lights flickered on overhead, lighting Cloud’s path as he continued to the end.

He felt ill at ease the closer he got, causing his brows to knit. He shouldn’t be feeling any sort of reaction to this place, knowing it was all a fabrication, yet something in him was uneasy as he made it to the door leading to the laboratory.

Maybe it was just the memories?

Shaking his head again, Cloud opened the door and walked into the laboratory. He found another light switch and turned it on, illuminating the contents of the room. Abandoned tools, a broken table, and empty tanks of various sizes. There were stains where liquid was once held, and other signs of damage around the place as if a child had thrown a tantrum and wrecked it all.

Cloud glanced around, but he didn’t really know what he was looking for amongst the mess. If anything, it was the place beyond it that would be more useful.

Stepping over some broken glass, Cloud headed toward the library at the end. Even in this place, the design of the laboratory and library were similar. Cloud looked at the shelves as he slowly walked by them, trying to see if he could catch any titles that would help. He didn’t know how well this simulation would’ve recorded the information here; he doubted he could actually use any of these books.

He reached for one of the books that had been tossed on the ground and flipped open the cover. Just as he guessed, the pages were blank. He was disappointed, but he supposed he couldn’t rely on Shinra to reproduce this much information. If anything, anything down here was already breeching layers of confidentiality. The fact he was able to access it was already a miracle.

“Thought so. So much for that idea.”

Cloud already knew that if he tried to open any of the other books, they would be empty as well. Tossing the book back where he found it, Cloud continued past the shelves to what looked like an open study. Just like the rest of the library, books were scattered everywhere.

It was pretty much as he expected it. At least he hadn’t gotten his hopes up too high. If nothing else, it gave him some alone time to sort through his thoughts.

After what happened with Tifa, he needed some space to breathe and calm the emotions that stormed inside him...

Stopping in front of the desk, Cloud touched it with the tips of his fingers. He stared at the old varnish and noticed what looked like angry scratches along its surface. He didn’t know if they were from a pen or knife or some other tool. It didn’t seem important, yet his gaze lingered on those jagged lines. They didn’t look like they belonged...

For some reason, he felt like they meant something. But what?

I have what you seek.

Cloud flinched as a voice unexpectedly crept into his mind. He recognized it right away. It had been a while since Jenova last spoke to him, and he had wondered during that period of silence how long it would take for her to reappear. What ironic timing that it would be now.

Cloud narrowed his eyes. He didn’t want to have her in his head, but he didn’t know how to push her away.

I know the truth.

“I don’t care,” he replied out loud, even though there was no one around to hear him. He had a feeling she could still sense his response anyway.

Who else will tell you? Who else will freely and willingly answer all your questions? You rely on machines when you know they can’t help you.

He did know. He knew coming here was fruitless, but that didn’t mean he was going to seek her out in return. He’d rather confront Sephiroth instead.

He spurns you. He will not speak to you, only leave you in the dark.

Cloud already knew that too. It was clear neither of them was comfortable in the other person’s presence, but if these current events were going to result in another catastrophe, they had no choice. Much as Cloud didn’t want to talk to Sephiroth, it was still necessary, and considerably more tolerable than talking with Jenova.

If he could guess, from what Zack told him, and from Cloud had seen, this Sephiroth was level-headed. He would be reasonable and tell him the truth, however minimal those details were. The taller man probably loathed the idea of talking to him as well, but so far, they remained civil. That alone was enough to reject Jenova’s proposal.

Oh my precious child... you do not know... You will never know the full suffering. Such pain and loneliness... How pitiful...

Nausea rose in Cloud’s throat. Out of the corner of his eye he felt like something was there, a person or figure, yet their shape wasn’t clear. He wanted to turn his head, but his eyes remained rooted on the scratches on the desk. Maybe with fingernails...?

Cloud forced the question down. Now wasn’t the time.

Somehow, without even looking, he knew it was a younger person. Maybe a child? Without warning, a haunting sound reached Cloud’s ears. It made his back cold, goosebumps racing along the backs of his arms. It was crying. A solitary, pitiful, weeping sound like an abandoned animal in a forest.

Though the whimpering was quiet, it echoed in Cloud’s ears as though it came from his own mouth. It dove deep into his throat and clenched it tight, forcing on him emotions that weren’t his own.

They killed her. My miserable child...

Jenova’s voice filtered through the sounds of crying, soft and consoling as though she truly was speaking to him as her own son.

Such suffering. It is the fault of these people, these humans who you try to defend. They took it all away, and they will take it all again.

Cloud felt something try to reach for him, like a ripple in the water around his ankles. He mentally shook it off, his lips pulling back into a grimace as he tried to shut her out of his mind. He didn’t know how exactly he could do it, but he did know he couldn’t afford to listen to her any longer. The longer she lingered, the more dangerous it would be for him.

Rejected, despised... Unloved and abandoned, as you are. Loathed and feared, as you are. Alone.

Cloud wished he could somehow cover his ears and block her out. Why the hell wouldn’t she go away? Why couldn’t he make her stop?

“Shut up!”

Alone. Alone. Alone. Who will save you from this cruelty? Will love you? I can. I will give you what y—  

A hand suddenly grabbed his shoulder and jerked him around, cutting off Jenova’s words. Without warning, Cloud found himself yanked forward and then slammed against a bookshelf, knocking the wind out of him.

Gasping, Cloud flinched against the tight grip on his shoulders as he looked up at who had pinned him against the bookshelf.

~*~

Sephiroth’s eyes narrowed as he looked at Cloud. The blond’s pupils were contracted into slits. The last time they had appeared that way, Jenova had been meddling in his head in Junon. It was clear that she was trying to seduce him again.

“Jenova. Is she talking to you?”

Cloud didn’t answer right away, almost like he couldn’t comprehend his question. “Yes?”

Sephiroth studied Cloud’s face, taking note of the slightly dazed look as Cloud tried to sort himself out. His complexion was a little pale, but Sephiroth couldn’t tell if that was a side effect from Jenova’s presence, or the poor lighting overhead.

“Is she still there now?” His voice was low. He didn’t want Cloud to say yes, but if she was lingering in the blond man’s head then he would have to do something about it.

“I—” Cloud was quiet a moment as if he was trying to listen for something only he could hear before shaking his head. “No. I can’t feel her.”

Sephiroth wanted to feel relieved, but Cloud’s answer was hardly worth rejoicing over. The fact that he had found Cloud in here talking to himself – to Jenova – was proof that Jenova’s silence these past few days was just a ploy. Whether she had been busy crafting those Strife-lookalikes, or simply biding her time, it was clear that she had not given up assaulting Cloud’s mind.

He knew there was no way Jenova would leave Cloud alone just because he was in a new location. Her reach was unlimited, expanding across the planet like Gaia herself. They all had some faint hope that her silence would continue for a little longer, but that clearly wasn’t the case.

That meant they were going to be even more pressed to put an end to her scheme. Neither Jenova nor those lookalikes were giving them time to breathe.

But why was she in a hurry?

This question lingered in Sephiroth’s mind before he pushed it to the side to contemplate later. Right now, he studied Cloud as the man briefly closed his eyes before opening them. His pupils gradually dilated, returning to their natural shape; his irises returning to their normal color as well. They were a bright, mako-enhanced blue. The mixing colors were so striking, Sephiroth couldn’t help but compare Cloud’s features to Strife’s.

His eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his mouth...

Cloud twisted his shoulders and tried to tug away from him. The action broke Sephiroth’s thoughts before they headed down the wrong path. His hold on Cloud lingered before he finally let go, though he didn’t step back to give Cloud more breathing room.

“What are you doing here?”

It wasn’t a question about the simulation room. He had crossed by Zack who was bringing two closed cartons full of food for him and Cloud to eat after Cloud was done in the simulator. Sephiroth’s question was directed at the designation of the simulation. Of all places to choose, Sephiroth found Cloud in the empty town of Nibelheim.

Cloud’s lips tugged into a line, clearly unhappy with his present circumstances. Still, he responded obediently. “I wanted to test how much information these rooms can replicate environments.”

By technological standards, the simulators were top notch. There was no other system that could recreate the environment or even lifeforms as well as these rooms. However, there were still limitations that Shinra couldn’t – or didn’t bother to – iron out. Finer details like texts weren’t bothered it; for training purposes, it wasn’t necessary for soldiers or Turks trainees to stop and peruse novels when they were supposed to be completing missions.

Whatever it was that Cloud was hoping to find, it wasn’t going to be here. Surely he already knew that.

“What were you trying to find?”

Cloud’s eyes shifted to the side as he sighed. Though he seemed in a stable state, Sephiroth could tell his gaze was troubled and frustrated. “Something to help me understand Strife or what happened to him.”

It was clear Cloud was avoiding eye contact, but he continued nonetheless, “I thought that if I figured that out, then we’d have a better idea of who those lookalikes are and how to deal with them. Everything in here is blank.” Cloud gestured at the library.

“You won’t find answers here,” Sephiroth responded bluntly.

His answer made Cloud frown. “Then where? The real Nibelheim?”

Were it so easy. Sephiroth shook his head. “What you see here is the state of the mansion before it was cleaned out.”

Cloud’s frown deepened. “What happened to the originals? Were they destroyed?”

“Yes. Shinra found no need to keep hold of them and removed all evidence.” He hadn’t known when exactly it happened, but by the time he had realized, it was too late. “There’s no one who knows details of the contents either.”

Cloud finally looked up at him. A silence stretched between them before he finally spoke. “You know.”

Sephiroth met that gaze. “Not enough. Shinra had tight control over all confidential material in Nibelheim.”

He took a step back, granting Cloud space. He looked to the side, where he could see part of the laboratory at the end of the library. “It’s a surprise they kept this simulation intact.”

He didn’t think the program would still be in place. Did someone forget to erase it? Or did they not care since nothing could be gained from it?

Looking back at Cloud, he saw the blond staring at him. His brows knitted slightly as he met those blue eyes that had finally decided to meet his of their own volition.

Yet the contact felt too brief, as Cloud looked away once more. “I meant you knew what happened.”

Though Cloud’s voice was low, Sephiroth heard it clearly in the silence of library. He stared at Cloud even after the other man had turned away. The comment had caught Sephiroth off guard, even though it shouldn’t have. They were bound to talk about it eventually.

Vincent’s advice suddenly came to the forefront of his mind. He and Cloud might never have any affection toward each other, but they needed to cooperate. Right now, this was the longest conversation they had with each other. In fact, it was their first proper conversation to begin with.

Cloud needed to trust him – trust that Sephiroth could and would support him when he was struggling. Though neither of them had any clue how it might work, they had to take the first step to combining forces. That was the surest way for them to fight against Jenova and whatever she threw at him.

To gain Cloud’s trust, Sephiroth found he had to speak plainly with the man.

His lips pinched slightly at the corners as he watched Cloud move through the library. Whether conscious or not, it created a gap between them that felt more than just physical. It reminded him too well of how he had watched Strife walk away, ignoring his words and rejecting the life he proposed. Nothing he said or did convinced Strife that he was in the wrong and there were better choices.

Not even... his love.

Sephiroth berated himself for lingering on the memory. This wasn’t the time.

Drawing in a silent breath, he turned in the direction that Cloud went. “Zack is waiting outside.” His long strides made it easy to meet Cloud’s pace as he headed off to the side. It wasn’t towards the entrance to the laboratory, but the adjacent wall. “Mission cancel.”

[ Cancelling Mission......... Mission Cancelled ]

The training system’s AI voice responded to Sephiroth’s command and the mansion’s basement began to break down. Particles disappeared, returning him and Cloud back to the training room’s true appearance. The direction Sephiroth was facing was the room’s exit, the same he walked through when he learned where Cloud was.

The door slid open, allowing the two of them to exit. Zack was waiting on the bench, his and Cloud’s lunches sitting next to him. As soon as Sephiroth walked through, his head jerked up and gave a sheepish smile. He looked like a puppy that got caught doing something it wasn’t supposed to. He brought up his hands as if he was ready to plead his case.

“Heyyy, welcome back.” Zack’s gaze shifted between them before settling on Cloud. “All done? I got our barbecue. Might not be as warm now, but nothing a good old zap in the microwave won’t fix.”

Sephiroth bit back a sigh. He was used to Zack’s behavior, but the man had chosen a poor time to go against his orders.

It did give him a chance to approach Cloud...

Still, that didn’t stop Sephiroth from feeling a little annoyed. As Zack stood up, holding the To-Go containers for Cloud to see, Sephiroth held out his hand.

“Huh?” Zack gave him a confused look. He glanced between Sephiroth’s face and his hand, cautiously holding out the food to him.

Sephiroth took the containers and looked at Cloud. “Follow me.”

It took a couple seconds for realization to dawn on Zack. “H-Hey!” He pointed at Sephiroth. “Wait a minute, you’re taking mine too?”

Sephiroth glanced at him. “You can get another.” He looked at Cloud again. “We have something to discuss. Come.”

Without waiting, Sephiroth started to walk out. He heard Zack squawk behind him, but what Sephiroth was paying attention to was the sound of another set of footsteps quietly following him.

[astupidweeb69]

How would Toby, Jeff and EJ help with their partner having a panic attack about their abusive family? What kinds of things would they say and do to help out?

Basically their partner is having a panic attack bc of their abusive family and they’re reliving all of their trauma and they think the pasta will abuse them or leave them just like their family :::((((

Sorry I got to this so late, I’m currently traveling abroad with family, and it’s been hard finding the time to write. I haven’t had a decent Wi-Fi connection in a while lol. So I made sure to make this request longer (1,150 words).

Toby Rogers:

From an emotional perspective, I think Toby would be the best of the three when it comes to this, but that’s not saying much.

How well he’s able to comfort his partner depends on his mood and the amount of energy he has. He’s bipolar, so during his depressive episodes, he might not have the capacity to fully help his S/O. No matter what he’ll put in as much effort as he can, provided you’re the type of partner that would do the same for him. He knows how it feels to grow up surrounded by abusive family members and understands the complicated feelings that can arise when reliving the trauma. Toby recognizes that abuse comes in many forms; his mother was emotionally neglectful while his dad was all around terrible. Although he suffers from memory loss, he remembers some coping strategies that he learned from his sister Lyra.

The main thing he’ll do is never leave your side. He’ll ask if you want to talk about it, even though he finds the topic hard to listen to. It makes him overly angry that a person would harm someone he cares about. Unless you want them dead, it’s best not to tell him where any of your abusers live when he inevitably asks. When he calms down, Toby will constantly remind you that whatever happened wasn’t your fault, that you were just a kid, and parents are supposed to provide a safe environment. Things like that. If you refuse to talk about what happened, instead Toby will find ways to keep the two of you distracted. Watching movies, eating snacks, he might even bring (steal) you a puppy/kitten to cheer you up (he’s very impulsive).

He’ll panic if you tell him your fears of him abusing or leaving you. Not going to lie, I think it’s likely Toby will lash out at his S/O on occasion, even if they’re an understanding person. He’s very emotional and erratic. And his mood swings make it hard for him to control himself. So, he knows that your fear is probably well-founded. He tries his best, even if it sometimes doesn’t seem like it. But he’d NEVER leave you. That much he knows for sure, and he’ll repeatedly tell you this until he’s certain you’ve got the message.

Jeff the Killer:

Okay, so I think Jeff would be the worst at dealing with this. While Toby has some empathy and EJ understands the medical side of dealing with mental health issues and trauma, Jeff doesn’t have either of these skills.

At first, I think he’d try to ignore it. He knows something is up since he’s very perceptive when it comes to you. Jeff will act a little nicer, making sure not to raise his voice around you, but that’s about it. He’s just hoping that the problem will go away on its own. And when it doesn’t, he’ll be really uncomfortable. If you talk about it to Jeff, like Toby, he’s going to get angry at the people who’ve hurt you. However, unlike Toby, he’s going to insist that you tell him who they are/where they live so he can get rid of them. If you manage to resist his demands, he’ll track them down on his own time. He’s very possessive of his partners and takes anything that happens to you personally. After Jeff murders them, he’ll proudly let you know about it. He thinks he did you a favor whether you wanted him to do it or not.

Jeff will go silent when you express your fears of him abusing you. Then he’ll get annoyed. When the two of you fight and he loses his temper, he’s pretty good about not taking it out on you physically. To him, that’s quite a feat. He’ll yell and might punch a wall or break stuff. In his mind he doesn’t consider this to be a big deal. That a person could be affected by witnessing this type of behavior. When you explain that it bothers you, and how it can bring up past experiences, he’ll actually listen. Knowing that he reminds you of someone who’s caused you so much pain, will prompt him to hug you and assure you he’ll try to do better. This is a rare occurrence in any kind of relationship with Jeff. He doesn’t like touching his partner in non-sexual ways. It makes him feel weak. And when you mention him leaving you, he’ll just laugh and say something like “You can’t get rid of me that easily, babe.”

Eyeless Jack:

Talking to EJ about anything you find emotionally distressing is a lot like talking to a therapist, but not a very good one.

Using a cold detached medical approach is really the only way he knows how to handle things like this. Being a demon makes him question his ability to understand your mind fully, to comfort you in the way you need, and to give you the kind of human affection that’s so foreign to him.

So, he’ll ask you questions seemingly from a script. It’s all textbook. “How did that make you feel?” “What tends to trigger these thoughts?”. If you’re unable to answer him (which if you’re having a panic attack, it’s unlikely you will), as a last resort EJ will sit next to you, rub your back, maybe attempt to hug you. It’s awkward, but he’s trying his best. The whole time he’s taking mental notes about your reactions and what’s effective in calming you down. He will bring you water and random food (if it’s early in the relationship he’ll give you like, an entire head of lettuce, anything he recognizes as “human food”). EJ will also mention that revenge on the people who’ve done you wrong is something to consider. And he would be “happy to oblige” if you wanted this. All you’d have to do is say the word and he would kill them quickly and painlessly (or have them scream in agony for hours, it’s your choice).

EJ isn’t at all surprised by your worries that he’ll hurt you. He expects this from every human he comes across. That they will fear his very presence. Tremble in terror at the mere sound of his voice. He just hopes that you’ll be the one to look at him differently. Be able to see through his otherworldly appearance and demeanor, to the sad college student whose memories still haunt him, melding together with his demonic consciousness. He’s always been mindful to keep his composure even when you irritate him. The only time EJ can’t control himself is when the pesky hunger takes over. But he makes sure you’re never around for that. With a blank stare, he’d state that he would never hurt you intentionally. And for your fears of him abandoning you, he’d look confused and ask, “What about ‘mate for life’ did you not understand?”

[enhypia]

JS ; exes

exes answers questions with the choice of drinking instead of answering

pairings: park jongseong x gn!reader

genre: angst, mild fluff

words: roughly 1.7k

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

~guides and warnings~

italics - reader speaking

bold - jay speaking

[enclosed] - interviewer speaking

italicized bold - both reader and jay speaking

[enclosed bold or italics] - question (depends on who's speaking)

heavily inspired by: rec.create lie detector games, cut truth or drink

warning: contains and mentions of !!! drinking, swearing, neglect, breaking up

i don't promote underage drinking, save your livers

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

hello, i'm (y/n)

and i'm jay

we're (awkward eye contact)

uhh we're exes

[you guys were invited here today as exes for a fun little drinking game, you guys were aware of that right?]

yes

yup

*interviewer shuffles awkwardly

sorry it's just, our friends were the ones who signed up for us

yeah, we just found out about it three days ago

[but are you guys still okay with doing this?]

we're okay

just give us a few minutes to get used to environment

*(y/n) chuckles

[okay, for this game, questions will be asked and if you refuse to answer, you drink, it's that simple. are you guys ready? should we start?]

*jay nods

ready as i'll ever be

[how long were you guys together?]

we were together for almost 3 years

[how long have you guys been broken up?]

about a year and a half now

[who broke up with who?]

i did they did

[why did you break up with him?]

so this was all a year and a half ago okay? no coming for jay, he's grown, we've grown

thanks?

you're welcome

*jay laughs

uhh.. it just really reached a point where i felt neglected in a way? and it was just tiring? i kept thinking 'do i deserve this treatment?' and i hated that i was doubting everything, including his feelings. so i just said let's talk about it and then yeah we split up

*jay drinks and (y/n) laughs

sorry sorry

nah i just needed that

[okay, how about we officially start the q&a portion between the of you now?]

*both nod and played rock paper and scissors to determine who gets to ask first, jay wins

*he picks up a card and facepalms after seeing the question

goddamn

should i be scared?

not sure, but you might opt to drink though

[do you blame me for what happened to us?]

oh my god *(y/n) laughs

i know right

so we're unpacking emotions today? okay noted

you can just drink if you're not comfortable with it

i'll drink but i'll still answer, might ease your mind no?

*jay couldn't stop his head from nodding

*(y/n) drinks

i admit that i blamed you at first, but then i got to thinking that it wasn't just you, i was also at fault too since i never really vocalized what i felt? i just let it build up until it reached the point where you couldn't do anything about it anymore, and i couldn't too.

yeah but it's more of my fault since i felt something was wrong but i just brushed it off, i brushed you off.

....

shot?

*jay smiles slightly and both raised their glasses to cheers before drinking

we were both at fault and i don't blame you, jay. i hope you stop blaming yourself

*(y/n) smiles softly then picks up a card to stop any reply they might get from jay

god why are these questions so heavy? it wasn't like this from other episodes

*jay and crew laugh

okay, hit me

[what's your biggest regret about our relationship?]

what the fuck

SEE ?!

*both laugh and jay drinks

okay, next question

no, i'm answering

[we won't stop you but just reminding you both that it's okay not to answer if you drink]

the alcohol releases the unhinged-ness

in other words, this is really just us using the alcohol to actually say what we feel

i think you already the answer, and it's that i didn't do anything about us even if i felt something was wrong. i just kept on focusing on my career that i reached a point where i brushed everything off as nothing. and in the end, while i got the success i wanted, somehow i also feel like i'm on the losing end really.

*(y/n) drinks making jay laugh

what? it's my first time hearing all this !

it was a rough break so

omg is this our closure ???

*jay's eyes widened

and it's filmed ?!?!

*everyone laughs

couple goals *(y/n) does a hashtag

oh wait *(y/n) looks at jay

exes goals *both do a hashtag pose

*they laugh, ignoring the sting in their hearts

okay, okay moving on

*jay laughs again

is it a heavy one again?

nope

[do your friends hate me?]

*(y/n) bursts out laughing

please 😭

we have the same friends

we share a lot of mutual friends

that's why there was like tension for a month in the friend group because no one knew what to do

i'm sorry you had to endure all that friends

remember when they literally made an organized schedule to hang out where we wouldn't see each since the break up was still fresh?

yeah like i got heeseung on tuesdays

and i got him on thursdays

😭😭😭

we love them though, they did their best to console us both

thanks guys <33

*(y/n) picks up a card

goddammit

[do you think we could've actually worked out our problems?]

i think it's unfair that i get a lot of heavy questions

i have the power of god and anime on my side today

i think we could've, if i just had taken the actual time to reflect and sit down and talk, we could've worked it out.

*(y/n) slaps jay's arm

i told you, stop blaming yourself

k

*(y/n) rolls their eyes

*jay picks up a card and

oh

what?

*he is stuttering guys, he is fidgeting

[do you wish we were still together?]

oh

yeah

.....

*both drink

i mean-

*jay has been paralyzed, he did not expect (y/n) to answer

i'm happy where i am right now, maybe there are moments of weakness that the thought crosses my mind but i don't dwell on it too much. i think we're both still learning and growing.

*jay doesn't want to think about the fact that (y/n) never said a clear yes or no

*(y/n) picks up a card and groans

please just drink to this

why?

[what do you think of me now?]

....

drink.

no?

why?

because-

why?

i'm answering

why?

i want to?

no.

right now i'm just really proud of you.

*WORLD PAUSE, (y/n) is malfunctioning

it's a little sad that i didn't get to witness a lot of it but i promise i watched from afar and i'm so proud of you. like it makes me feel lighter in a way? knowing that you're still going and pursuing your dreams. it just made me at ease that -

*(y/n) drinks, looking very much like snow white's apples

are you blushing?

jay i will kick you

*he laughs and pinches (y/n) cheeks making them redder, (y/n) slaps his hands away

i won't hesitate bitch

how about you huh?

[what do you think of me now?]

*jay you should know not to tease too much or else it'll bite you back

i think you're absolutely amazing.

*jay could only blame himself

i am in constant awe and there's this pride that i have in me whenever i see you thriving. it's weird because i thought i'd be bitter about it, but since i knew of your goals and how passionate you were, all i felt was pride. it did hurt a little that i couldn't go "that's my baby!" anymore.

*alert! jay's ears are red and it's spreading to his cheeks and neck

okay next question!

*he quickly picks up a card making (y/n) burst out laughing

everything i said was true though.

hajima. stop. pause. i'm not listening

*(y/n) laughs at flustered jay

this is the last one.

[question for both: if you could tell me anything, what would you say?]

sheesh

same

rock paper scissors? loser goes first

*jay wins

*(y/n) drinks

can you turn around for this one, like don't look at me.

*jay followed

i want to say that,,,, that it's not your fault for putting your future first. it kind of stung since you made me feel like i wasn't a part of it but i know that wasn't your intention. i understand your actions and i don't blame you. if i was in your position i probably would've been the same. i'm sorry that i didn't try harder, like you said we could've made it work but i just got so tired, i hope you can forgive me for that as well.

okay i'm turning around as well, your turn

*(y/n)'s eyes are glassy, but jay doesn't need to see that

i want to say that i'm sorry for neglecting you. i feel like you're tired of me saying sorry but that's really all i could do. i forgive you by the way even if i don't get why you're apologizing to me. i also want to say that, it wasn't you. it sounds cliche but you weren't the reason i became like that, it was me. it was never you. so please don't blame yourself for anything. please don't question your worth because you were more than enough.

yah i didn't want to unpack that

well i still know you and i was given the chance to say it now so

*(y/n) turns around wiping tears, jay is sniffling

i need a drink damn

*(y/n) pours a shot and jay as well, both drink after clinking their glasses

[you guys good?]

*both looks at each other and chuckles

we're good

i can't believe we have to thank our friends for setting this up

*jay groans

[care to answer one last question that is in everyone's minds' right now?]

oh god

is it what i think it is

[will we see you guys be featured again? maybe exes to couples again?]

let's drink!

*both take one last shot and waves to the camera

*(y/n) shrugs and jay winks

bye~

»————-　♡　————-«

bonus: youtube comments (peep last one)

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

a/n: i was planning to post this sooner but my pharma prof suddenly dropped a 6-page activity lmao rip, im scheduling the timestamps i forgot to post last update sorry sorry. my angst skills are subpar forgive me but i tried my best. i hope you like this one too !! jake's will be uploaded next ! please look forward to it <33