#he uses a lotta red sorry x-x

[redjaybird]

[Multifandom and Nonfandom OC RP Blog, Jay Finch, written by Yams]          Home | Rules & About & AU Listing | Verse Interest Checker

[Verses like Borderlands, Trigun, D&D/Fantasy, Pokemon, and original content- Bloody City]

[kaysungshine]

Redamancy: Part II ['red-a-man-sE] noun ;a love returned in full

(If you haven't read part one, you definitely should!)

{ Pairing } - idol!bangchan x staff!afab.reader (bestie!jisung)

{ Genre } - NSFW; s/a/f trifecta, now friends to enemies to lovers, pining

{ Synopsis } - Things are awkward now, you're avoiding each other. In fact you distanced yourself from the entire group. What happens when Ji confronts you? What happens when Chan does a 180 and tries to befriend you? And what happens when Chan finally has you alone in his room?

{ WC } - 14.3k (I am so sorry 🥺) + 2 screenshots

{ Warnings & Tags } - 18+ MDNI, lowkey POV switch , lots and lots of angst, eventual smut & fluff, swearing, use of babygirl, multiple nicknames for members, choking, drinking, bestie jisung crying, hyunjin being a logical romantic, y/n being a little toxic but learning from it, they're honestly both a lotta stupid, oral(f. receiving), dry humping, hickeys and bruising, questionable breath play (please research if you plan on doing this, do it safely), chans nipples are sensitive, he's just sensitive in general with y/n, fingering, needy chan, members teasing, talk of edging, talk of bdsm, these two are VOCAL as hell, so lots of moaning, groaning, whining, whimpering, mewling, and dirty talk during sex, unprotected sex (piv), pull out method (again don't do this, practise safe sex), much cringe, much awkward, but they overcome it (LMK if I forgot any, I'm sorry)

{ Disclaimer } - This work is in no way associated or depicting the actual life of the members of SKZ. It is a fictional piece of work, and I do not own Stray Kids. All works of fiction are loosely inspired by SKZ, and in no way am I saying it is true to their character.

{ A/N } - Alright almost a month later, and I finally finished part two!! Please don't hate meeee, I beg your forgiveness, please. It took me a while because I just couldn't stop writing and adding things. Editing also took FOREVER, because I wasn't confident that it would satisfy you guys. I'm still not sure. So I apologize if this didn't live up to your expectations, again, please be gentle with me ♡. Understand that this is only my 2nd SKZ fic, so I'm still learning about how to portray each character, and how to piece things together seamlessly!

Chan was starting to worry. It had been almost two weeks and he still hadn't seen you, nor heard from you. It wasn't like you two really spoke outside of questioning the other about Jisungs' whereabouts. There were the occasional texts, again about Jisung. He didn't know what to say to you to begin with. Apologize? He already did that, and it only seemed to make you more upset. But that was in the moment, and both your emotions were on overdrive. 

The other members were starting to notice your absence, questioning Han about it. Asking if you were okay. You'd even started avoiding all the public areas at the building. No one was even sure if you were eating during the day, or there at all. You didn't go to the cafeteria, break rooms, or practise rooms. No one caught you in the lounge areas, elevator, or the stairwell. No one even saw you coming into or leaving the building. It was to the point where Hyunjin was nearly planning steakout missions with Jisung. And poor Ji. He only got to see you twice since that night. A drastic decrease in comparison to how often he usually spends time with you. Chan only knew that because he overheard him talking to Minho about it. That was all he heard before Han noticed him standing there, and left for his room, sending him a spine chilling glare along the way. 

And Chan knew it really was all his fault when Minho just gave him a curiously sad look, and patted him on the shoulder. You obviously said something to Han, who said something to Minho. He wonders who else knows how bad he messed up. 

He was racking his brain trying to figure out how to fix this. Never in a million years had he thought he'd actually get a chance to experience such a quintessential moment with you. He'd liked you for so long, it was starting to turn into more than that. Ever since he'd seen you helping a new trainee navigate the building, he grew interested in your kind heart first and foremost. He's sure he's been through all the emotions. Excitement, because you started hanging around with them and you fell right into the dynamic so easily. Anxiety, because he didn't know how to approach you at first. Jealousy, when Han got all of the attention from you. Anger, when he thought you and Han started dating secretly. Embarrassment, when he realized how wrong he was. Hope, when you two shared a hug, even though it was a very awkward hug. Despondent, when he still couldn't figure out how to act around you, letting whatever growing friendship you two had begun, stall. And now regretful. But not regret for kissing you, touching you, or nearly fucking you. No, regret that he had stopped. 

Such a beautiful moment, where he was truly lost in bliss. And he halted it. He let his anxiety get to him, his internal conflict wouldn't shut up.

He truly was worried about the technicality of it all. The rules, the company, the media, the fans. Worst of all, you would receive the brunt of it. He didn't know how to protect you from it all. He was constantly going back and forth in his head. How could he make it work? Would you even want to make it work? Did you even like him? What did you think about him exactly? 

He wasn't blind. Every once in a while he'd catch your eyes on him for a little too long. Any 'accidental' physical contact you had with him would linger. And he knew there was a certain smile you'd reserved just for him. Not to mention, you were always the first to reach out directly, and make conversation with him. He was always too afraid to. He felt like a coward. And when he finally had the courage to make a move, a bold move, a ravenous move... His ego suddenly deflated when he realized his actions could be taken the wrong way.

He panicked.

He doesn't want you to think that he just wants sex from you. That you're just a fling. A one night stand. A hookup. No he wanted to do it the right way. He wanted to take you on a date, he wanted to learn more about you, to meet your friends. He wanted you to meet his family, to meet Berry. He even fantasized about planning a special date to ask you to be his girlfriend. He fantasized about anniversaries, about holidays spent together, a life spent together. He wanted to give you the world. He fell for you hard. And in that moment, he felt like he was doing it all backwards. So he stopped. It nearly killed him, but he stopped. And he should've done anything, quite literally anything else but stop.

When he saw the spark in your eyes dimming, only to be replaced with apprehension. He immediately apologized, and spat out a quick blurb about being inappropriate. 

Your entire face just sunk, and he shut down. There was nothing more he could say about it, not in that moment. And he felt even worse when you said you understood, but he didn't let it show. You didn't understand, not really. There was no way in hell you could, and he desperately wanted to just spill everything that second. But he wanted to be sober, wanted you to be sober, so instead he told you to drink water. And go to bed. 

What the hell was wrong with him. 

He even made sure to wake up early the next morning, anticipating to somehow get the chance to talk to you. When you came running down the hall, he was sure that it was fate. The chance that you two had alone time this early was perfect. He had hoped that this would all be sorted out. If he confessed, maybe you would too. Then he could explain last night, and you two could talk about it. And if it didn't work out like that, at the very least he could try to preserve your friendship. It would be painful to remain just friends, but he didn't want you out of his life. He couldn't imagine that. He doesn’t think he could handle that. After he greeted you, he noticed your eyes had tears in them. You were starting to hyperventilate, and tremble. 

Then you were leaving. 

Even though he's come up with world class lyrics, he seemed to be failing with his words lately. He didn't ask if you were okay, or what was wrong, or breach the topic that was clearly needing clarification. No, instead, he followed up with asking if you wanted breakfast. 

You didn't even look at him. The tone of your voice was glacial, freezing him right to the spot. He'd never heard you sound like that. He just stood there, watching the door close. Listening to your car start, listening to you drive off. And then he stood there more, afraid to move. 

When Jisung came running out 15 minutes later, he was still standing there. Han saw your things were gone, and knew that you left. Chan only decided to move when Han uttered five angry words to him. 

'You really fucked up, Chan.'

He knew he did. And he didn't know where to begin to fix it...

"--Channie-hyung!" 

He whipped his head up, and found Jeongin snapping his fingers in front of face, trying to get his attention. 

They'd been at dance practice, taking a break. He only then realized that he'd zoned out the entire time, not eating, not grabbing water, not even sitting down. Just recounting his mistakes, and dwelling on them. Now it was time to get back to work. 

Jeongin was giving him a strange look, but he didn't dare question him. In addition to messing things up with you, he'd been too on edge. Snapping at one too many people. He didn't want to risk Chan blowing up on him next.

"Where's Hannie and Hyune?" Chan questions.

"Probably still in the cafeteria..." Minho responds, giving him a knowing look. 

Minho was the one keeping both him and Han in check at the moment. He felt bad for forcing him into a position like that, considering he was Chan's younger member. Even if it's just one year. Having to be a mediator daily between his two brothers, he knew it must've taken a toll on him. But he never complained, and Chan was grateful nonetheless. 

Chan nodded, and went to grab water from his bag. As he was chugging it, Jisung came into the room and went straight to Minho. Furiously whispering at him, pushing his hair back. Hyunjin trailed in not long after, his eyes darted to Chan, but looked away quickly. 

"What's going on?" Seungmin asked.

Minho just put his hand up to him, and the younger one scoffed. He turned to Felix, "The hyungs are acting fucking weird lately." 

Felix hummed in agreement, as he continued massaging Changbin. 

"Aye, I don't know what's going on either, don't group me in." Changbin grunted.

Chan hesitantly approached the bickering pair, and the look Minho now gave him was one of warning. But it was too late. 

"It's all your fault." Han spat at him. 

"Excuse me?" He bit back, not expecting such an outburst from him.

Hyunjin quickly jumped up to try and get between them and explain, "We saw y/n in the cafeteria toda-"

"She isn't coming over this weekend again. And she's not letting me over to hers either. She wants to be alone. I wonder why." Han interrupts, crossing his arms.

The room was eerily quiet. Everyone knew something was up, that much was obvious. The fact that Han was slightly vague though, it gives Chan the idea that the exact details remain relatively private. 

"Is she still here?" Chan whispers through clenched teeth, holding fierce eye contact with Han, but he's getting more daring.

"She's about to leave. YOU," Han pointed to Chan, poking his finger right into his chest, "need to figure your shit out, and stop playing around. Fix. It."

"HAN JISUNG." Minho yells sternly, "You need to stop being so disrespectful. No matter the situation, remember who you're talking to. Let's take a walk." 

He drags Han out of the room, and down the hall.

Chan was left standing there, ears burning and fists trembling at his sides. It was safe to say practice was done early for the day. So he quickly dismissed everyone, and was the first to leave.

He found himself searching for you throughout the building, with no luck. Until the elevator doors opened, he stepped on with his head hung down. So consumed in his own thoughts again, he didn't realize the other person at first. 

When he lifted his head to finally greet them, he was faced with you. You refused to even look at his way, choosing to face straight forward at the exit. 

"Y/n..." He managed to croak out, weakly. 

Silence, still. As soon as the doors opened, you rushed out. He was stuck standing there again. 

It was early Friday night, and you were already wrapped in the blankets on your bed. Aimlessly scrolling and tapping on tiktok, not even really paying attention to any of the videos. 

You weren't used to spending this much time alone, not anymore. You wanted to go see the people who you realized felt like home to you, especially in this foreign country. But you didn't want to deal with the fallout of the oldest. Jiji did beg to come over... You'd been missing him so much. You'd been missing everyone so much, even your co-workers.

Most of the work you do can be done from home, on your personal pc or work laptop. The majority of your co-workers had periods of time where they wouldn't set foot into the building for weeks at a time. You knew it wouldn't be weird to them if you worked from home for a while. So you've been opting to do that, only going into the building if you absolutely needed to.

Until today that is. At nearly 4 in the morning you were cc'd on multiple emails. The constant dinging woke you up. There was a huge issue with a group's new M/V. Footage was corrupted, drafts were deleted, and it had already passed the deadline. They needed all hands on deck. You were in such a rush to come in, you didn't bring any food or drinks with you. You had arrived about an hour after receiving the email, so by the time afternoon rolled around, you needed to get something in your system. Thankfully the major issues had been solved, but now came the fine tuning. You could finish up at home, but truthfully you missed being out and about. Even if it was just at work.

You reluctantly made your way down to the cafeteria, thinking you'd be safe because you know SKZ's schedule for today. You knew they'd be in dance practice. Oh how surprised you were when Jisung nearly tackled you to the ground. He was on you as soon as you came down the stairs to the main level. Your heart hurts when you see the glossy look in his eyes, paired with sadness. Hyunjin was right next to him, trying to pry him off of you and avoid a scene. Instead you pulled him into a group hug, which he eventually accepted, wrapping his arms around the both of you. 

They both badgered you with questions. Asking where you'd been, what happened, if you were mad at them. You were honest with them, and nearly broke down again. You weren't okay. You were hurt, and angry. But you assured them that you weren't angry with any of them, besides one obviously. And even though Jiji didn't bring up Chan exactly, or that night, you did. You started ranting about how stupid you felt for what happened. You've been holding it all in for the longest time, the words were rolling off your tongue effortlessly. 

You could see that at first, Hyunjin was a little shocked and confused. Possibly embarrassed judging by his pink tinted cheeks. But he held your other hand, that Ji wasn't holding, supporting you either way. You couldn't begin to express your appreciation. You'd half expected all the members to know exactly what happened. You also figured they'd side with Chan, and be upset at you for cutting off all contact basically. Considering Hyunjin didn't know what happened, you knew that wasn't the case. Relief washed over you slightly. 

It would be better if less people knew, less people to pick sides. In the grand scheme of things, this was only really between two people. There was no need to involve anyone else directly. On top of that, you'd never ask any of them to pick your side, not only because you know where you'd stand compared to their leader. You also wanted to avoid negative drama, and any arguments that might start with them.

Jisung begged you to come over tonight. Said that they would figure it out, that he would take you to his room even. He tried to make you laugh saying he'd even hang a sign saying 'no Chan's allowed' on his door. But you refused, not wanting to create uneasy tension, or make anyone feel uncomfortable in their own home. 

He then offered to come over and have a night just the two of you, and as tempting as it was, you found yourself wanting to be alone. Your go to method for self soothing was always solitude, even if it wasn't always healthy. 

You could see him deflating the more you denied his offers to spend time together. The anxiety was growing in his eyes. Knowing him, he was fearing that this was the end of your friendship. That simply could never happen.

'Give me just a few more days, and I'll be over it all. I'll be back to normal.'

That's what you told him, but you didn't even know if that was true. Regardless, you refused to lose your best friend over a situation like this.

One thing's for sure, you need to stop isolating. It wasn't helping as much as you convinced yourself it would. Just as you were debating texting Ji that you changed your mind, and to come over. Your phone chimed, and it was Jiji, he texted you first.

You threw the blankets off, opting to keep on your pajama shorts instead of changing. You slid a hoodie on over your cami though, because you refused to put a bra on. 

They're your friends and you know they'd never judge you or your home. Still you tidied up the take out containers, cups, and cans left in your kitchen and living room. You folded your throw blankets, and fluffed up the pillows on your couch. You quickly picked up the clothes strewn across your apartment, and threw them into your room. You'd deal with the laundry later. Lastly, you went to take the garbage out, and as you turned to go back inside, a car drove up and Ji hopped out. He was in a hoodie, with the hood pulled up. He also wore sunglasses, and a black mask. 

"Y/nie!" Ji said and ran up to hug you.

"Long time no see." You joke, wrapping your arms around him. 

Hyunjin was also semi disguising himself, also in a hoodie. He had a baseball cap on, with his hood also up. He covered his eyes with the visor, and wore a black mask as well. He sent off the driver with a thank you and wave.

"Don't tease. It's been an excruciating amount of time. I need to recharge." He said squeezing you tighter.

"Hey y/n." Hyunjin walked up next, carrying bags full of goodies. 

"Hey! Come on, give me those, let's get inside." 

After you lead them in, you guys get comfy in the living room. They brought drinks, and loads of snacks and candy. In no time, you fell into that familiar and comfortable groove of your usual weekend shenanigans. Just a smaller circle this time.

"So," Ji started with his cheeks full of cheesecake, "I got in trouble with Minho." 

"How?!" You giggled. 

"I think Minho saved you actually, the way Chan was looking at you? He needed to get you out of there, you were NOT giving it up." Hyune said. 

"Wait, what happened?" You sat up more, worried now. 

"Tchh, he wouldn't have laid a finger on me." He tried to act confidently, but the way he rubbed his hands together told a different story.

"You guys fought?!" You gasped.

When Ji said nothing, and avoided your eyes, Hyune decided to speak up.

"They've been fighting. Mostly silently. You know, avoiding each other, sending the other looks and glares. But some days Hannie can't keep his mouth shut."

You gave Ji a stern look, and he just swallowed his cake.

"Anyways," Ji said, clearly trying to get the subject off of Chan, "Minho was so angry with me. I got scolded so much, I nearly cried."

"Well, yelling at Chan in front of the entire group probably wasn't the smartest thing to do..." Hyune mumbled.

Suddenly, concern washed over you. Surprisingly for Chan. You couldn't help it when the words just slipped out.

"So... how is Chan?" You attempted to sound nonchalant, stuffing your mouth with a brownie immediately afterwards.

They were both staring at you, unsure of how to answer. 

"He's... tense. I get something clearly happened between you two, but I don't know exactly what's up. He seems angry, and lashes out at people verbally... But he's sad too, he's been attempting to hide away from everyone too." Hyune says. 

"He has no reason to be angry." Ji snaps.

"Ji..." You say, "You should stop being so hostile to him. He didn't do anything to you..." 

Damn that soft spot in your heart, even when you've been completely devastated by him, you're sitting here defending him. 

He gave you the stern look now, "No. But he did something to hurt you. He's acting like a god damn fuck boy, and I always knew him to be better than that. I've never seen you like this! He made you stop visiting us, you even stopped talking to me throughout the day. He created a divide. And I'm sorry to be selfish, but whether or not it was done to me, it still affected me too!"

The anguish in his voice shot through your chest, creating that god awful sinking feeling. He was right, but still... it wasn't only Chan that held the blame. You were guilty of your own actions. You never should've pushed any of them away, especially Hanji.

"Okay, I have to ask. What the hell happened, it seems like he did something really bad." Hyunjin finally asked, worry written all over his face.

Ji refused to look up from his cheesecake, he was now just mashing it up angrily on his plate. 

"I like Chan." You blurted out, "Well, I liked him. I still like him? I'm trying to get over him though. But it's proving to be more difficult than I thought, so maybe it's more than me just having a crush. I don't know. It feels ridiculous to have such big emotions towards him, considering we struggle to even hold a conversation. I know nothing substantial about him, and I'm sure it's vice-versa. But the last time I was over... We ended up... halfway hooking up in the hall? But he stopped. And he looked at me like I was crazy. Like he forgot who I was, and like... like he was disgusted that it was me he was touching." You started rambling now. 

"And I mean I get it. I'm me, nothing special. We were drunk, and I'm sure with the way we were feeling, it could've just been chalked up to hormones on overdrive. But... I really thought he was reciprocating my feelings. I feel so stupid, to put that much value into sex. It's just sex. And it didn't even happen! I don't know. It just hurt, it still hurts. The regret in his eyes, that stung so bad. Because I didn't regret it, fuck, I don't regret it... I'm just so angry. I can't seem to move on from this."

They both sat listening to you, as tears began to well in your eyes. Ji pulled you into him, your head resting on his chest. Your arm rested on top of his stomach, the other sliding between his back and the couch. He was carding his fingers through your hair, and scratching your scalp lightly, like he knew you liked.

"Stop talking down on yourself. I don't like seeing you tear yourself down with lies." Ji mumbled.

"I'm sorry you're going through this... Have you two... talked at all?" Hyunjin asked.

"No. I'm trying to avoid that. I already got my heart ripped out once, I don't want to go through it again." You nearly sobbed, thinking back to how he approached you in the elevator. All he said was your name, but his voice was filled with such strong emotions that you couldn't decipher. You'd just assumed it was still regret, and ran out of there as fast as you could. 

Hyunjin rubbed your knee comfortingly, "But maybe talking would help... I'm not trying to make excuses for him. He should've spoken up at that point, offered some sort of explanation or reassurance, something. That's on him for not opening his mouth, you'd obviously be confused about the whole thing. I don't know if you're interested in fixing things and talking it out, or even remaining friends with him. Regardless, I feel like some sort of closure would help you and help him. And unfortunately that does involve talking it out."

You nodded your head, "It probably would, but I don't feel like I'm ready. You didn't see his eyes. I can't handle it if he looks at me like that again." You whispered the next sentence, "I don't want anyone to look at me that way again. "

"I don't think Chan would ever be disgusted by you, I mean judging by the looks some of us have caught him giving you. He definitely finds you attractive, as he should." He smirked, making you give a breathy laugh through the tears, "Frankly, I'm shocked that you were even interested in him. I mean have you seen me?" He gestured to his face dramatically, turning from side to side and gave a few poses.

You and Ji both chuckled at him.

 "Or Felix? Even Innie lately is growing more into his features! Why not one of us?!" He nudged your leg with a laugh.

"HEY! If anyone gets to date my Jagi, it's obviously me. We'll be two hot, married best friends who suffer in abstinence, because we can't bring ourselves to consummate the marriage." Ji suddenly slurs, holding onto you tighter. 

Yeah, he was a little too quiet there for too long, the alcohol must've hit him.

You burst out laughing, and shove him away from you, "Gross Jiji!" 

"And thank you Hyune, but I feel like that can't be true. Even if he has checked me out, that's superficial. I mean we're human, we can feel a basic level of attraction to someone we see for only 2 seconds, and never get to see them again. When I say I like him, it's more than just a physical relationship. I know it's illogical, for so many reasons. Like I said, I barely even know him. There's been no attempt to even get on the same level, like how I know the rest of you. We barely talked, we had that huge argument, and he's always kept some distance from me... there's always been a detachment. So for me to want to be with him, even after all the signs of him wanting nothing to do with me? It's insane. He could never want that, could never want me. Not beyond a quick fuck apparently. And he couldn't even go through with that..."

You know you're starting to sound repetitive and bitter, and a little pathetic. But damn it, this hurts. And these thoughts were consuming your mind in a vicious continual cycle. 

Hyunjin just hummed, neither agreeing or disagreeing, "You know you can't help emotions y/n, they're borderline instinctual. Especially love, and I'm not saying you're in love with him, but to care for someone? That passion? It's got to count for some kind of love. It's such a powerful feeling, we have no control over it, it's humorlessly funny like that." 

You were listening to him talk intently, he was so poetic. Maybe it was the fact you were a little tipsy, but you were thinking that he should write more songs. More love songs specifically. 

"If we could control it, there'd be much less heartbreak in the world I think. Unrequited love wouldn't exist... With that in mind though, there'd be a lot less love overall. I mean think about it, love almost always comes with some sort of eventual pain. There'd be many people who'd just opt out altogether..." He paused for a moment before continuing, "And never discount things as impossible, everything is possible. I'm not saying this to try to give you hope or destroy your hope. I'm not saying this to persuade you either. I'm just saying sometimes things aren't so black and white. Grey exists too, and it's a pretty beautiful shade if you ask me. I think you should talk to him about it." He finished

You nodded and offered a smile, "Maybe I should, and thank you."

You gestured for him to join you and Ji on the couch, and he rested against you. His head on your shoulder, creating a momentary cuddle pile, with you sandwiched in the middle.

You were so grateful to these boys, helping to piece you back together when you felt so broken. And over something seemingly insignificant to most. Ji was physically comforting you, and Hyune was comforting you mentally and emotionally. He just seemed to understand the world on a different level, able to see perspectives that might not always be clear to most. His mind was a beautiful place, and you felt honored that he let you in. You both formed a special bond tonight, similar yet completely different to you and Ji.

And, oh Ji... he wasn't getting off scot free.

"And you," You looked up to Ji, who was looking down at you wide eyed, "You need to apologize for your behavior with Chan. I understand you want to protect me, and I love you for that. Immensely. But he's your leader. He's done and sacrificed so much for you and your members. I'm sure no one knows what's going through his head. Stop giving him such a hard time... I'll figure out a solution with him eventually... even if it's just practicing being civil with each other. For now, try not to take things out on him. I'm sorry I stopped coming around. That fault lies completely on me, and it was petty. I won't avoid anyone anymore, so promise me you'll apologize. And that means as soon as you see him!"

He looked at you, processing your words before answering, "...fine. But seriously... don't go dark on me again, Jagiya." He said quietly. 

You smiled, and snuggled up closer to him, "I won't, my poor baby."

The three of you continued chatting, catching up on all the crazy things you missed out on. Apparently a lot can happen in two weeks. You were angry you missed out on a weekend camping trip. Apparently they all had gotten so drunk, except Chan. And I.N. kept threatening to hit people with his shoe. They informed you that Chan was very quiet on the trip. He kept to himself mostly, and binge ate ice cream instead of sharing a drink with the rest. 

You couldn't get your mind off Hyunjin's words. Chan has been watching you? The amount of time you spent checking him out, you'd figured if that were true you would have noticed. Maybe he was sneakier than you thought. Then again, that night your eyes did meet more than once or twice... You kept catching him looking at you. Maybe what Hyune said was true.

You were stuffed, full of candy and sweets. And also a little tipsy. It was getting late. Close to an hour later, you sent them home in a rideshare, telling them both to text you when they get home. Then you made sure to text Minho, alerting him of exactly how drunk Han was, and apologizing. You knew he'd be the one stuck taking care of him, if there's anyone who loves Ji as much as you, it's Minho. He might love him even more, having known him for much longer than you did. If the boys didn't have such a busy schedule this week, you'd be able to have Ji and Jinnie spend the night and take care of them yourself. 

A weight was lifted off your shoulders, and you silently cursed yourself for hiding yourself away for so long. You always did that, and it never ended well. You really were thankful to Ji, you don't know what you'd do without him.

That night, you felt yourself drifting off to sleep quicker, easier. But even as slumber was pulling you in, Chan was still on your mind. 

Chan was sitting on the couch with Minho, having been forced out of his room and pushed to socialize. He hadn't done much, he was in his thoughts again. Occasionally entertaining the others with curt responses and short conversations here and there. They seemed to just be happy with his presence, and he was thankful for that.

Jisung and Hyunjin had gone to your house, and the unknown made him feel uneasy. He was happy though, because that meant you weren't cutting everyone off, you weren't done with the entire group, you were staying in their lives.

Everyone but the man that fucked up it would seem. Still, he felt relief. He wouldn't forgive himself if he was the cause of a valuable friendship lost for everyone.

The rest of the members had gone to sleep by now, but he and Minho were waiting for the two younger members to arrive home. You had texted Minho saying they were on their way back, and to take care of them as they were drunk. Jisung especially. 

He was wondering what was taking them so long, and he could tell Minho had some worry too. His leg shaking up and down. Then, as if on cue, Hyunjin bursts through the door. He has Hannie in his grasp, pulling him along as he tries to resist entering the dorm.

Hyune mumbled, "C'mon. You promised her." 

He started to feel flushed, and hot. What does that mean?

He gave Hannie a push towards Chan, and Minho gave a worried look to both of them. He was expecting the worst. Jisung was staring at his feet, playing with his fingers and biting his lip. 

Chan didn't think he could feel more disheartened than he already was, but it was apparently possible. Staring at Hannie in front of him, he looked so defeated. What had happened at your house?

Finally he looked up to Chan. And Chan was sure his face mirrored the younger ones anxiety. 

Then Han started tearing up, "I'm sorry Channie-hyung!" He wailed, and collapsed into Chan's arms. 

Chan was shocked, but he just held him close, and softly shushed him, trying to comfort him. He was trying to offer understanding and his own apologies. But Jisung ignored it babbled on, recanting his negative actions and harsh words. Chan respected the fact that he was apologizing, but he already knew why he had said the things he said. Why he had done the things he did. In fact, he held a sense of pride towards Hanji for it. It wasn't easy for him to stand up to Chan. And while, yes, he was being inappropriate from a certain viewpoint, he expected nothing less from the boy trying to protect his best friend. He couldn't be angry with him about that fact.

If anything he just felt more guilty that he had to protect you from Chan at all.

He continued slurring, stuttering, and sniffling in between talking. His words were barely coherent at this point, but Chan did catch one sentence.

"I thought I was losing her forever because of that night..."

Chan never felt more disappointed in himself, his entire being crumpled. Not only did he hurt you, he hurt Han. He's hurt the other members who grew to care for you just as much as he did. He never intended to hurt anyone, and instead he hurt many. It was all his fault.

With the help of Minho, they dragged Han to bed. Minho stayed with him, tucking him in, then getting him water and paracetamol for the morning. Minho stated he'd be spending the night in Han's room, just in case he was going to be sick. So Chan went out to check on Hyunjin, hoping he wasn't as inebriated but expecting as much. He found him in the kitchen, a bottle of water in one hand and a chip bag in the other.

"You feeling okay, Hyunjin?"

"Yeah, I didn't have as much as Han did..." He trailed off, "Neither did y/n." He was eyeing Chan as he continued, a glint in his eye while he said it.

Chan just nodded and kept silent, knowing he was trying to get at something. And it didn't feel like it was anything but teasing. Hyunjin wasn't having that though, he never did when people ignored what he had to say.

"Y/n made Han apologize you know," He started as he opened his chips, "I mean we both know he would've eventually. But she made him promise he would apologize as soon as he saw you."

That piqued his interest somewhat. He didn't view you as a mean person, but he figured you wouldn't mind seeing him distressed due to Han. In fact when he was standing in front of him, he was sure that he was about to get cussed out. By order of you, maybe. Considering Hyune said that Han promised you something. He wouldn't blame you, he deserved it after all.

But no. You were continuing to be your kind and sweet self. Even towards the person who upset you. He was confused.

"Why?" Chan finally whispered, more to himself than Hyune. 

"I believe her words were, 'he's done and sacrificed so much for you' and 'no one knows what's going through his head'. So she suggested that he, well more like intimidated him, to apologize." He said while dipping his hand into the bag of chips, "It was cute, really. She was almost... protective." 

With that he popped a chip in his mouth, and went off to bed, leaving Chan dumbstruck in the kitchen yet again.

His heart was thumping in his ears, unsure of how to interpret those words. But they meant something, right? Hyunjin was a tease, sure, but he must know what happened. He wasn't just teasing about this? Surely he wouldn’t go to that extent.

'No one knows what's going through his head.' 

You were right. No one knows. You don't know. He needed to talk to you, he needed to let you know. He needed to let you in, even if it was hard.

Suddenly he felt hope again. It was small and shriveled, but alive. He was sure with enough care and nourishment, something precious could bloom from it. 

The week flew by, and now it was nearing the weekend again. Things almost felt normal. You had returned to the office regularly, no longer working from home. Your time with Ji had gone back to normal, Jinnie often tagging along now. And the other members were glad you had started showing up again too. Everyone was excited to recommence the late night antics at their dorm tonight.

You couldn't help but notice Chan seemed relieved too, a little too relieved. Even though you clearly gave him the cold shoulder. It didn't seem to bother him. You obviously have an idea of why his attitude towards you changed drastically, but what you don't have an idea of is what his goal is. You can't necessarily say he's acting as if nothing had happened anymore, because of his new demeanors. But he still hasn't mentioned anything to you directly. His gall was starting to irritate you. His mixed signals were angering you. 

If you were to think logically and assume, maybe in his head, he had been attempting some sort of effort to 'fix' things. But you tried to shut it down every single time, still unsure of his reasoning. Because he still never brought up that night, and was acting as if nothing happened at all. As if his reasoning for trying to be more friendly didn't exist. It was ridiculous. 

Before that night, it was always you making sure to greet him first, you striking up small talk, you trying to crack jokes with him. All small and simple gestures, but gestures nonetheless. If only to keep things polite and civil. The tables seemed to have turned, and now he was initiating it all. In front of others you were short with him, but made sure to still be polite. There was a deeper detachment than before, and it didn't go unnoticed by the others either. Though they kept their mouths shut, only eyeing the interactions between you two. 

In your head you figured that he'd get the hint and stop trying so hard at whatever it was he was trying at. You hoped it would trigger a conversation about that night finally. It got to the point where it started to create an awkward vibe in the presence of the others. But no, he still wouldn't stop. He just amped it up, and now the dynamic was once again changing. 

He'd figured out the exact times you would take your breaks, and would manage to catch you before anyone else could. When you stepped off the elevator, he'd be waiting for you with a smile, and offer to buy you a snack. You'd decline, instead opting to take a small walk and stretch your legs. When you get back to your desk you'd find your favorite cookies on them, or your favorite candy bar, or your favorite drink from the vending machine. They were always wrapped nicely or bagged with a bow, with a note attached. It usually reads something like, 'don't forget to eat today! --Channie'. 

You would always hand them out to your co-workers, or offer the singular items to your office bestie, before crumpling the note and throwing it out. 

He'd taken to somehow always being there to hold a door open for you. Or trying to hold your bags when he caught you using the stairs instead of the elevator, actively trying to avoid him. Or when you were helping staff move the camera equipment from room to room, he'd try to take the load off your hands. It always ended in you snapping at him in a whisper. And him furrowing his brows like he didn't understand what he did wrong.

It's not that his actions were wrong, actually. They were the opposite, but why? Why was he doing all this, when he never did before. He was putting all this effort into acts of service, when all you wanted to do was talk. It was hard for you to bring it up, especially when he was acting so sweet yet pissing you off at the same time. 

You should've realized it'd be hard for him to bring it up too, but you didn't. Because of that, there was the Wednesday incident. 

You were heading home for the day, not having had a run in with Chan all day, and unsure how to feel about it. You were almost out the door when you heard heavy footsteps coming towards you from across the lobby, and your stomach twisted. 

Chan.

"Hey! Wait!" He said with a smile, "I'll walk you to your car." 

You'd had enough at that point. You rolled your eyes, and continued out the door. But you knew he'd catch up anyways. 

As his pace aligned with yours, he kept talking, "Sorry I couldn't catch you at all today, it was a busy one. It still is, I think I'll be stuck in the studio all night. Han too, we finally figured out the ho--"

"Chan!" You cut him off, "Really? What makes you think I'm in the mood to talk to you? What makes you think I was waiting for your presence at all? You don't need to apologize for being busy. We're at work. We're working. It's what we do." You spat out, more abrasive than you've ever been to him. 

He looked at you wide eyed, and you felt something akin to guilt pang in your chest. Immediately you ignored it, and kept walking. Only for him to latch onto your arm gently. 

"I don't understand." He said, discouragement lacing his voice. "I'm trying to... trying to--" 

"Trying to what? What exactly is it that you're trying to do? Because I can't figure it out. You're being so hot and cold, you went from one extreme to the other. I don't know how to decipher that."

"I just want things to go back to being okay again! I want us to be normal again." He said exasperated. 

"Okay?!" You chuckled, "Normal? Our normal was borderline avoiding each other, which I am keeping up with very well, thank you. Our normal was talking to each other out of necessity. Our normal was little to no interaction, unless we're in a group. Whatever you're trying at, it's not our normal!" You shouted.

"No, what I mean is-" but you cut him off again, too heated to think logically.

"Our normal definitely didn't include me against a wall, and your fingers inside me and around my throat. THAT is not our normal. And I know it made things uncomfortable. And I know you regret it. But how can you expect things to go back to being whatever you think 'okay' is, if we haven't even talked about it?" You took a second to suck air into your lungs that seemed to be burning with rage. 

"Instead you talk to me like that night never happened, and then you behave as if we've been best friends forever. You act as if that behavior, whatever your reason for it, isn't influenced by that night. You talk to me about things we never talked about before. We never caught up on how each other's day was, we never checked in with each other to make sure the other ate, we never took breaks together to get coffee or a snack and chat. You're expecting me to be the same as you, and ignore what happened. But I can't Chan, I can't do it. All I want is closure, instead it feels almost like I'm being led on. Before that happened, I was insignificant to your life. Our only connection being Ji! Then... then in an instant everything changed and then it changed again. It's confusing Chan. I'm lost here." 

The tears were brimming in your eyes, and his ears were the brightest red you've ever seen. The flush went to his cheeks, and down his neck, and the grip he had on your arm was trembling. He started to open his mouth again, but you were quick to stop him. You felt like all he would give you right now is excuses, and you weren't ready to hear that.

"Please, Chan. I'm the one who's trying. I'm trying to move past it, like you seem to want to. But it's harder for me. When I feel like this, all I want to do is go home and hide. I can't do that though, not again. I'm trying to be civil. I'm trying to be polite, for the sake of everyone in our lives. But you keep pushing for some sort of friendship we never had..." You felt the dampness on your cheeks now, and before you knew it, your last sentence slipped through, "And did it ever occur to you that I wanted more than a simple friendship?" 

At that he let your arm fall, and he took in a shaky breath. You figured now was the time he would say something, but he seemed frozen. Then he spoke in a soft tone.

"I'm so sorry y/n, I promise I can explain..."

That was it, your heart started to ache at the thought of his words. You weren't ready to be rejected again. So you rubbed your cheeks, one at a time, swiping the tears away and sniffling. He reached towards you again, stepping closer, but you stepped back. 

"I need to go."

And you left. You got in your car, and you held it all in. The whole drive home, you refused to let yourself process any of the conversation. Which in reality was less of a conversation, and more you blowing up on Chan. 

It wasn't until you stepped through your door that you sunk to the floor, back against your front door and started sobbing. You let it all out. The guilt for yelling at him. The despair over the rejection, that never left your heart. The embarrassment over the entire situation and how you were acting. Your unjust, pure anger. It all just came out in tears. You couldn't stop them, your only focus was on breathing when you could. 

You didn't know how long you stayed like that, hugging your knees and bawling your eyes out. But the sound of keys jingling, and the pressure of the door pushing against your back, is what snapped you out of that grief stricken daze.

"Oh, Jagiya..." You registered Hans voice as you stood up to move, you forgot you gave him keys to your place.

He scooped you into his chest, squeezing you tight. You held onto him, just as firm. 

"Wait..." You were confused, Chan said they both would be late in the studio, "What are you doing here?"

He pulled back and scanned your face as you sniffled. He sighs, and leads you into your kitchen, wetting a towel and dabbing at your puffy eyes and cheeks before drying them. Once you seemed to be in a pacified state, he continued. 

"An unintelligent kangaroo I happen to know, told me I should head home early and check on you. He seems to be more intelligent than I thought." He tried to make light of the situation, but guilt bubbled up in you once again. 

"Wanna talk about what happened?" He offered. 

And so you word vomited at him. Retelling the whole scene word for word, since the words were mostly your own. He listened, nodding when necessary, and humming in agreement to some parts. When you were done, you looked at him and waited. 

He was looking down with his arms crossed, leaning against your kitchen counter. He looked deep in thought. 

"Well?" You said desperately. 

"Well, I think it's good one of you finally broke the ice on it. You got it off your chest, you said what you needed to. Yeah, maybe you were rude. But now the door to talk about it finally was opened. However, maybe you should've heard him out. Seems like he could barely get a word in edgewise. If I know you when you're angry, which I do, I know you never planned on letting him speak. You always have to have the last word, my little attack chihuahua."

Then he poked your forehead, "Stubborn. Defensive. Both of you." 

You groaned, "I know, I know. I'm already beating myself up over it." 

"When will either of you learn? You don't need to beat yourself up over it, you just need to communicate. You missed your opportunity today, but that doesn't mean all hope is lost. I know he really wants to talk to you."

"Talk again?" You scrunch your face at the idea, even while knowing it had to happen.

"Apologize, is more like it." He retorted. 

Your face dropped, but you knew he was right. 

"Hey, you made me do it. And it was the right thing to do. Like you said, no matter how angry I am, I needed to apologize. The same rules apply to you... Plus I've been hesitant to say this but..."

"What?"

"If he wanted to stop in the middle of it all, he had every right to. I know it hurts but, no means no, you know?" 

Guilt flooded your veins yet again, are you really coming across as some sort of hostile person after facing a rejection? You suppose it was half right, which made you feel disappointed in yourself. You were no better than the men who throw tantrums when women reject them. In your mind though, you were more upset at ignoring it all. 

"I know that, and currently I'm not angry because sex didn't happen. I'm angry because I don't understand why it almost happened, and I want an explanation. I just want to know why he was so cold to me the entire time before it happened, and why he tried to act like nothing happened and was friendlier to me afterwards. If he wanted to stop because he changed his mind and wasn't feeling it, that's fine. But he could've said that, I'd be hurt because I like him so much, but I'd get over it. Why I'm upset now is because I don't like the mixed signals. I don't like the unknown. I want closure."

"To get closure you have to talk to him y/n, you avoid him just as much as he used to avoid you. Now that he's stopped, you're still avoiding him. And acting kind of rude to him, we've all seen it. The fake smiles don't really hide the contempt in your eyes. You're always valid in your emotions always, but I've recently learned that it's the reaction that you are held responsible for. That goes for him too, even though his reactions may not be as hostile as yours. His reaction of ignoring it, is just as hurtful to you. But... I have a feeling if you hear him out, you'll get your closure." 

Again, you knew he was right about it all. You knew you had been bitter and immature about the entire situation. You paced for a moment, thinking about how you could even apologize to him. He'd been trying to fix things, and talk just like you wanted. Why have you held on to all that anger for so long? You were in the wrong too, more so than he was. You needed to apologize quickly.

"Just take the night to process and decompress. You'll have plenty of opportunities to talk with him, especially since his mission in life lately is just that. Again, we've all noticed it, he can't seem to leave you alone."

"Do you know what he's up to?" You squint your eyes at Ji suspiciously. 

"He won't tell anyone exactly why he's doing what he's doing. But I have my own speculations, which I won't be sharing because I'm not trying to meddle and put ideas in your head. After talking with him a bit tonight, I don't think he's aiming to hurt you, that's for sure." 

You sighed again, and nodded. 

"Now. Dinner and comfort anime? I'm thinking.... Nana?" 

"God, yes please. I need a distraction from realizing how much of an asshole I was. That I was actually the one starting issues." You groan, and you both plop down the couch and start to order food. 

Ji went home half an hour ago, and you're now staring at your phone. Debating the text you typed up to Chan. Your finger was hovering over the send button. It would be better to apologize in person, but you weren't sure you could face him without some sort of emotional outburst anymore. It was something you needed to work on. So maybe smoothing things over through text before you spoke with him would help.  

You read it over one last time... God you sounded too professional, like you were talking to your boss. You hit send anyway, you weren't going to come up with anything better to say. You put your phone down, only for it to buzz a minute later.

Good... things are starting to get better. Or so you thought. 

You didn't see him at all on Thursday, nor spoke to him. You didn't see Jiji either, but he confirmed through text that Chan had been cooped up with him in the studio. You felt bad, knowing you probably added more stress to their jobs. Especially considering Ji ditched work yesterday to comfort you. 

Now it was Friday, and they were back at work in the studio again. Hyunjin was over yours because he finished up early, the both of you were just hanging out. Waiting for everyone else to get out. The nine of you were recommencing weekend get togethers.

"You should bring them food." Hyunjin, who was currently laying across your couch suggested.

He could sense your anxiety, constantly checking your phone for the time. He knew you wanted to talk to Chan, finally.

"I don't want to interrupt them, I already did that yesterday." You mumbled.

"Tch, like either of them would really view you as an interruption. They'd be elated."

"Ji? Yes, yes he would. You know things are weird between me and Chan though." You whined.

"Mmm, but this could be your chance to fix it." He suggested in a sing-song voice. 

You actually debated it, but you didn't want to prolong his work tonight by stealing time for a conversation. A most likely lengthy conversation. 

You looked at the clock, still debating and wondering if you had time. When you saw the time you realized it was much later than you thought. 

"Shit, forget food. We're going to be late." 

Hyunjin glanced at the time and nodded, "Alright, let's head to mine."

You grabbed your keys and headed for the door, Hyunjin followed and soon you both were in the car on the way to the dorm. 

Once you got there, and Hyunjin let you in, you realized everyone was already here, judging by the pile of shoes. It seemed, the majority were getting cleaned up and changed into fresh clothes. 

"I'm going to change too! I need to get out these jeans and into something comfier. Just make yourself at home!" He said while heading to his bedroom. 

You sat on the couch and started scrolling on your phone. You were laughing at a funny video when you heard someone walking down the hall. Of course Chan is the first to finish, and he decides to join you on the couch. He takes the seat next to you, like right next to you. 

"Um... Do you have to sit so close?" You say in the softest voice you could manage.

Remember. Stay level headed, no snapping, no meltdown, no blow ups. Don't yell. 

He looks at you a bit defeated, and moves to the other end of the couch. 

You sigh. Things were still touchy. It can't keep continuing on like this, it's too uncomfortable for you both. You have to apologize and make amends. It's now or never, but he speaks before you the chance. 

"Y/n. Is now a good time to talk?" He says in a serious tone, with a stern look on his face. 

You tense under his gaze, and your stomach feels like it's sinking. Was he that mad at you? You kind of understand why though. 

"S-sure." You stuttered.

His eyes darkened, tongue poking his cheek. He's getting shifty now, and glancing down the hallway.

 "Do you mind if we talk in private?" 

You suppose it would be even more uncomfortable if someone else happened across you two discussing this. So when he stands up and heads towards his room, you follow him into it. 

His room was neat. You'd never been in it before, and sure, you've seen the live streams. But it was a very different feeling, seeing it through a screen versus being inside it. 

He sits on his bed, and pats the spot next to him for you to sit. You opt for leaning against the door, arms crossed in front of you. You were feeling defensive still, and didn't want to push your limits. It was his turn to sigh now, as he hung his head.

"Y/n I meant it when I said I'm really tryi--"

"Can I say something first... and then I promised I won't interrupt you again."

He just nods, with his tongue poking his cheek again. You know you're pushing his buttons, but you felt you needed to apologize before anything. Now you decided to sit next to him, twisting your torso to face him. And he did the same to face you. 

"I'm sorry for the way I acted. It was incredibly childish." You sighed, "I know you had every right to change your mind, and I shouldn't have gotten so angry over it. I never meant to act so toxic towards you. I should've just accepted the fact that you wanted to stop and moved on. But the truth is... I've liked you for a while now. So when that happened, in my head, I took it as you reciprocating my feelings. Which doesn't make any sense, because you never knew of my feelings.”

Chan snorted a bit, trying to conceal a laugh.

“Then when you stopped, paired with the look on your face, it felt like you realized you made a mistake doing that with me. You looked like you were disgusted. Which I promise you, I now totally understand if that's the case. But it still hurt me... regardless, I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. So again, I'm sorry. I truly am. I hope you can forgive me." You managed to get it all out clearly, with a steady tone. 

He was staring at you with a thoughtful look on his face, soaking in your words, processing. Then he smirked, and that was the last thing you expected. 

"I guess you were acting a little bratty." He chuckled a bit. 

Then he reached for your hand, putting his on top of yours. You felt the fluttering in your stomach at his simple action. But you flipped your hand over anyways, palm up and letting him hold it.

"But y/n, you've got it all wrong, and it's partly my fault." He started, and your eyebrows furrowed, a look of confusion falling on your face.

"I like you too," he squeezed your hand gently, and it was oddly comforting, "The reason I stopped is because I didn't want you to think that all I wanted from you was sex. Because I want so much more." 

Were you dreaming? Is he really confessing right now? Even after how horrible you were towards him?

"I know the way I acted before doesn't exactly translate to me having feelings for you." He continued, "The truth is I was too scared to confess, until that night. The liquor gave me that extra boost of confidence, and you just... looked so beautiful. And the game we played, and catching you look my way multiple times. It almost confirmed to me that you wanted me too. Because I wanted you then and there. So when I saw you in the hallway, I thought it was my chance. But I let the lust take over."

Heat started to spread in your lower stomach at his words, and he kept going. 

"I wanted to do things the proper way. I wanted to confess, and ensure that you knew I was serious about you, and not a fling. I wanted to take you out on dates, and properly ask you to be mine. I should have just said it all that night. I got scared again though, and just froze. And I know the way I was acting right after was confusing, I didn't mean to give you mixed signals."

Your head was spinning with all the information he was sharing, it truly felt like you were in a daydream. Then you found your voice again.

"It felt like you were disgusted with me." You whispered, "And then you were acting so nonchalant about the whole thing, as if it never happened. I guess I was assuming things."

He cupped your cheek, and comfortingly rubbed his thumb against it

"I could never be disgusted by you, love."

You had to resist a shiver at him calling you that pet name.

"I wanted us both to be sober too. That's why I idiotically told you to drink water, and rest. And the next morning, I was so nervous because you were rushing to leave. You had tears in your eyes, I said the first thing to pop into my head. I was hoping to talk about everything that morning. But then you walked out the door, and I felt like I had no right to stop you.  Then Hannie was so mad at me, you stopped coming around. I felt like I fucked everything up and I lost all hope for a while." He sounded distraught.

“Until Hannie argued with me, yelling at me to fix things. He outright put the entire blame on me, and he did this in front of everyone. So that experience paired with your disappearance from our lives, especially Hannies life. He was so lost without you, I knew I had to try and fix it right away. I had been wanting to, I was just so unsure how to go about it. But Han's words pushed me to just go for it."

You took the opportunity to scoot closer to him, side by side now. He threw his arm around your waist. 

"The elevator... ugh. I was just so hurt, I was so sure that you were going to come up with excuses, try to let me down easy. I was terrified of the rejection. I had no idea, I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, we were both a little clueless about everything."

"I guess we were just a little stupid, huh?" You laughed.

He chuckled, "Just a bit."

"Then when Hyunjin happened to mention something, that's when I fully had hope again. So I tried to approach you, and be friendly, and get you snacks. I tried to help you out at work when I could. I was still unsure of how to bring it up to you." He admitted.

You felt so ashamed, "And then I went and yelled at you. I didn't even let you speak, ugh. I'm so sorry." 

"Again with the apologizing," He chuckled, "I told you, we were just confused about it. There was a lot of miscommunication... when we did talk anyways."

"I know, I was feeling and throwing mixed signals. All I wanted the entire time was to talk about it. Yet, I tried to avoid you at all costs. It doesn't exactly make sense. God, I was so... so childish."

"You were feisty is what you were. And I'm sure you still are." He joked.

You giggled. It was unbelievable how understanding he was. It was more shocking how wrong you were about his feelings. You had completely misconstrued everything. Assuming the worst. You couldn't be happier about being so wrong.

Nuzzling into his chest, and wrapping your arm around his torso, had him humming contently. But then you thought of what he said earlier. 

"What did Hyunjin say...?"

He cleared his throat, "When you made Hannie apologize to me, Jin said that you were acting almost protective over me. It made me think that I had a chance of proving my feelings for you."

"So that's the true reason why you were so friendly, and constantly getting me things and trying to help me out. You were lowkey trying to confess.” You looked up to him smiling.

He was blushing now, "Yeah, but I realize I was still doing things a little out of order. I'm terrible at communicating I guess." 

"Channie..." you said for the first time, and his blush got deeper, "I know it means a lot to you to do things traditionally. And I appreciate the effort you put in to accomplish that. But to me, it doesn't matter as much. We could've figured everything out afterwards." You said softly, and he was smiling down at you. 

"I guess I should catch up to the modern age." He joked. 

"Never! You prove that chivalry isn't dead. I love that you're a romanticist. Don't change." You laughed, "And... the communication problems? That's something we can both work on. I need to fix that in me too."

You felt him tense, and he caught your chin between his fingers, pushing you to look up at him further. You felt the warmth of his breathing spread across your face, he had that same look on his face as when he leant in to kiss you that night. Wetness was now pooling in your panties, and you had to resist clenching your thighs together. He was so in tune with your body language, and he caught it last time. You're sure he would notice again. You didn't want him to think you were rushing him into sex.

"So... does that mean you want to give us a go?" He was so serious when he said it, you could see the glint of excitement in his eyes though. 

"Of course, it's a dream come true." You smiled at him.

He was quick to bring his lips to yours, kissing you sweetly, softly. You sighed into the kiss, and felt like you were melting into him as you turned your body towards him more. You brought your hands up, one resting on the side of his neck, the other on his shoulder. He brought his other hand to the back of your head, and combed his fingers into your curls. 

He pulled you closer, deepening the kiss, licking your bottom lip. Your tongue met his, and soon you were wrestling against his for dominance. He started leaning you back against his bed, adjusting himself on top of you, knees on either side of your thighs. His hands roamed your body and he never broke away from your lips. You were nearly panting into his mouth, giving up and allowing him to explore your mouth. Your hands clutching his shirt like it would save you. The kiss was messy, downright sloppy, and you loved it. You were both desperate for this.

You wanted to imprint his touch into your mind. Every area he grazed made you feel tingly all over. Your entire body was oversensitive for him. You'd never felt like this with anyone else. 

Then he was playing with the hem of your shirt, his fingers grazing your stomach. You mewled at that, and he groaned. It was so high pitched it nearly sounded like a whimper. 

"Please... I still want you." He whispered against your lips. 

You were breathing heavy, chest heaving. You couldn't help it when your hips bucked up, letting yourself get consumed by lust, "Yes, god yes. I need you."

He re-positioned himself, lowering his body onto yours and letting his hips grind into you. You could feel his length against you through his shorts, and you whined. Even this felt like ecstasy, he almost made you cum last time from dry humping. He was so skilled at making sure you got friction exactly where you needed it. It was driving you feral. 

His lips attached to your neck, kissing, sucking, and biting his way down to your chest. His hand groped your breast, kneading it. Then he rolled over, flipping your position, so you were on top of him. It was your turn to grind your hips, your core rubbing directly on his erection. He threw his head back, mouth hanging open. His hands gripped your waist, helping you move against him. 

Things felt less rushed this time around. It felt like all time stopped, and the only thing that existed in the world was you and him. You wanted to be lost in this passion with him forever. The high he made you feel, made your head all hazy with desire. 

"Fuck..." He whispered as he looked up at you, seeing how fucked out you looked already. 

His hands slipped underneath your shirt, pulling it up. You took the hint and ripped it off, unclasping your bra afterwards. 

You had to admit, you felt your face flush again, at being exposed to him. But he soon wiped the thought from your mind, leaning up and placing soft kisses all over your chest. He kissed up to your collar bones, he kissed each mound, kissed in between them, he even kissed your nipples so gently. 

You were learning he was a tease.

One hand was kneading your breast again, the other braced against your back. Then his lips closed around one of your nipples, and his hot tongue swirled around it. His hand now playing with the other. Pinching, flicking, and rubbing. He braced the hand against your back, pushing you into him more, while he sucked your nipple harshly. You whimpered, and your hips started rolling against him again.

He pulled off with a pop, and mumbled "I could worship these tits love, all of you is so gorgeous."

His words made you blush, and then he pushed you onto your back again. He clearly wasn't scared to manhandle you at all. He was quickly unbuttoning and unzipping your jeans.

"Need to tase you..." He mumbled again.

You liked needy Chan, somehow he kept the perfect balance of dominant yet deprived for you. He positioned himself between your legs, kissing and licking every inch of them. He held your inner thigh, pushing your legs apart to expose your panties. He placed a kiss on your clothed center, and groaned at the wet spot that was already there. His tongue peeked out, and he licked a slow stripe up, making your underwear wetter. Your eyes rolled back and you sighed, craving more.

And did you mention that you loved how vocal he was? 

He licked his lips as he glanced up at you, mumbling "Taste so good, 'M gonna be addicted. Wanna be between your thighs all the time."

Then he spoke more clearly, with a smirk on his face "You're going to sit on my face one day. I want you to ride it."

You whined at the thought, and pushed your hips up, searching for friction. He took the opportunity to slide your panties to the side, and his tongue slid between your folds immediately. 

You moaned loudly as his tongue flicked against your clit. You felt like you were on fire, yet shivering at the goosebumps spreading all over your body. Your hand reached down to his hair, and he groaned again, making his lips vibrate against you. 

"Mmm... fuck." You moaned as you rocked your hips against his face. 

He has no objections, but he momentarily paused to rip your panties off. Then he wraps his arms around each thigh, forcing you to open wider for him. He buried his face in you, letting his tongue dip into your entrance. 

You gasped at the intrusion, your hand squeezing tighter into his hair. It had you nearly wailing. You'd never felt that before, and you think you could cum from it.

When his lips closed around your clit, he sucked. You were panting, feeling that familiar pleasure slowly coil in your lower abdomen. 

He wasn't shy at all about devouring you, making slurping and squelching sounds. He brought his hand to your entrance, and slipped two fingers inside. You moaned, and he let you adjust before curling his fingers and pumping into you. Your orgasm is building faster now. 

Writhing on the bed, and clutching his sheets, he did his best to keep you still. You were a moaning and whining mess. You couldn't help but be loud. His hand moved faster, as the tip of his tongue flicked at your clit. It was all too much as you felt your climax wash over your. You let out a desperate groan, your legs quivering as his hand squeezed your thigh tighter, preventing you from squeezing your legs shut.

Once you whimpered at the overstimulation, he stopped. Giving your clit one last kiss, sending one last shiver up your spine. Your chest was heaving, you were out of breath. He climbed up your body, wiping your juices and his saliva off his chin with the back of his hand. When he kissed you again, you could taste yourself on him, and you hummed as you licked against his tongue.

He kept kissing you, and you tugged at his shirt, "No fair, I'm completely naked and you're fully dressed."

He chuckled and sat up, pulling his shirt off. You reached up to feel his abs, fingers tracing between each muscle. You moved up to his pecks, and when your palm grazed against his nipple, he hissed. Picking up on it, it was your turn to kiss his chest, making sure to pay special attention to his nipples. Your tongue lapping at them, and then sucking them. 

He quickly turned into a whining mess. His voice making you grow wetter, and clenching around nothing. 

You really loved how vocal he was.

He made quick work of pulling his pants and boxers off, and leaned back down to kiss you. The pressure of his weight on top of you was comforting, and you placed your arms on his shoulders. His cock twitched against your core, and you were mewling again. 

He smiled against your lips and whispered, "Is my love needy right now?"

Then his fingers wrapped around your neck, and you bit your lip. Your hand was now on top of his, making him squeeze lightly, and you whined.

"Does my baby girl want to be choked right now?”

"Chan if you don't fuck me right now, I swear I'll--"

Before you could finish, he was gripping the base of his member. Sliding into you at a steady pace, and you gasped. He lets you adjust again. The length surprised you, and his girth stretched you deliciously. You always knew this man was hung. 

His hand never left your throat, and he did add more pressure around it. But you still desperately needed more.

He must've read your mind, or at least your face, "You're really into breathplay huh? Need it harder?"

Your mind was clouded in pleasure, you felt so full having him inside you. His hand on your throat only heightens it. So you nodded as best you could. 

"Remember, I need the words baby girl." 

"Yes, yes, fuck yes." You moaned.

He nearly growled as he pulled out and snapped his hips into you sharply. He kept pumping into you. Rolling his hips into you roughly, skin slapping against skin. His hand squeezed your throat tightly, cutting off all oxygen and then easing up, so you could get a proper breath in. Everything felt blissful, consumed by need. 

Your hips started rolling, meeting each of his thrusts. You were focused on making sure you both got off.

He had his eyes closed, face scrunched in concentration and panting, "Shit, you're so wet love. So tight, gonna cum too fast."

You clenched around him hearing that, and let out another whimper. You felt it building up in you again. His pace became uneven, and you knew he was nearing his climax. 

"Please..." he begged with a strangled whine, "Cum with me, can't hold on much longer."

"Channie... so close, just a little more." You panted back.

He removed his hand from around your neck and down to your clit, rubbing quickly in little circles. That was all you needed to let go, becoming a moaning and quivering mess. Your walls were clenching around him again, as you rode out your orgasm. 

He groans, hips stuttering before he pulls out of you. Giving himself a few pumps, he let out a loud and strangled cry as he finished. He was spurting ropes of cum all over your stomach, only slowing when the last of it was dripping down his cock and onto his fingers.

It was so sensual, you grabbed his hand and sucked them into your mouth. Making sure to lick them clean, keeping eye contact with him. His lips parted and he was looking at you so affectionately. When you finally popped them out of your mouth, he immediately caressed your face.

"How are you so perfect?" He murmured. 

He bent down and pressed a gentle kiss against your lips, and you slowly moved yours with his. This kiss was different, less desperate and more so savoring the moment. You felt lost in him. Nothing else mattered right now but you and him, the rest of the world melted away. You two were in your own bubble, and you couldn't be happier. 

When he pulled away, he spoke "That was amazing, my love." 

"It was." You giggled.

"I'm sorry it was a little rushed, I was craving you so bad." He said as he rested his head in the crook of your neck, a little embarrassed. 

Your fingers brushed through his hair. He was right, it was rushed on both ends. You both were a little clumsy, figuring out each other's bodies for the first time. But that doesn't mean the sex was horrible, he made you cum twice. 

"We'll have plenty of chances to take our time with each other. I think after everything, we were both hopelessly desperate for each other, and like you said. It was amazing Channie."

"I like hearing Channie coming from you, as different as it is." 

"Mmmm, I have to think of another pet name. You claimed 'love' already." 

He just chuckled, "You can call me whatever you want, Channie, love, Jagi. I don't mind."

"I think Ji would keel over if I called you Jagi instead of him." You giggled.

"Hannie can deal with it, he's not the only man in your life that's close to you anymore." 

Chan got up to get you a towel, and cleaned you up.

You felt satisfied, laying down facing each other, and still embracing. 

"So, about the other chances you mentioned. Maybe we can try out the edging you like so much. And all it takes for me to truly dom you is flipping a switch in my head and not holding back. I'm just not sure you can handle it."

"I can handle it, I'll be your perfect little sub." You snuggle closer to him.

"Hmmm, why do I doubt that for some reason. We already know how bratty you are."

"That just means more punishments for me, which I'm sure we'll both love."

"Is that so?" He started leaning in to kiss you.

Suddenly there was banging on the door. 

"Are you two finished? I'm assuming your finished since all the noise stopped." Hanji yelled.

You looked wide eyed at Chan and he had a smug smile on his face.

"We'd like you to join us, we're playing cards against humanity tonight. Besides it's my time with my Jagi again, I'd like to be able to see you." Jiji shouted through the door. 

You both scrambled to dress yourselves. He gave you his t-shirt, and some sweats. Slipping on nearly the same outfit, you opened the door to a pouting Ji. His face slowly transformed into a smirk as he looked you up and down. 

"Better fix your sex hair babes, although I guess there’s no hiding your hickies and bruises though." He leaned in and whispered, "I didn't know you liked it that rough, his fingers are clear as day on your neck. You nympho." He poked your tummy repeatedly. 

You nudged him and rolled your eyes, "Shut up." 

Channie came up behind you, and wrapped his arms around your waist, giving you a back hug. Just like that, Ji was back to pouting. 

"This means I have to share my cuddle time, ugh." He whined.

Chan just patted the top of his head, laughing, "You'll get used to it." 

"Hmph. I'm not going to stop calling her Jagi or babe or any other pet names. I was here first!" He stated.

Chan just chuckled, "I wouldn't expect you to Hannie."

He just turned around, still pouting, and headed back to the living room. You and Channie followed behind him, hand in hand. Eyes glued to each other, and smiling. 

"Oh great, we have to deal with this now, on top of you and Han overdosing us with PDA?" Seungmin complained. 

"I just knew something was up with you two, it's about time you fixed it." Innie commented. 

"Yeah, and by the sound of it. Making up went really well." Changbin jokes, then his eyes wander to your neck, "You know, for as much noise you two were making, I'd never expect you'd be choking her in there."

You blushed intensely, and Channie cleared his throat, smiling, and scratching the back of his head. The group laughed, and you and Chan took your seats. Which was him sitting in the chair as usual, and you sitting in his lap. 

"God, this is going to take getting used to." Hyunjin said with a smirk. 

"You act like you didn't partially help orchestrate this whole thing." Jiji teased. 

"What?!" Felix snapped, "And you didn't tell me?" Now he was pouting. 

"It wasn't my business to tell. Besides, I only nudged them a little bit to communicate. They both seriously lack in that area." Hyune responded. 

"Mmhm, I have to agree with that." Minho chimed in with a smug smile. 

"Alright, alright. Enough poking fun at us. All that matters is that things can go back to normal." Chan said. 

You faced him, "I still don't think this was our normal before, but it definitely can be our new normal now." 

He smiled and gave you a peck on the lips, to which the entire room started gagging, and acting disgusted. They got distracted while setting up the card game, Chan whispered something in your ear. 

"I know we've been doing things abnormally, and this might be a little fast. And we also have a lot more to talk about, but... Will you be mine?" 

You break out into a huge smile, and press your lips to his ear, "Of course Channie. I'd love nothing more than to be your girlfriend."

He turned his head to kiss you again, except this time it wasn't a peck. Your lips moved in sync for a few seconds, and everyone once again noticed. 

"Yeah, you were right Hyune. This is going to take A LOT of getting used to." Felix agreed.

"I don't think I've ever seen Chan-hyung like this before... It's a little weird." Innie chimed in.

"That's because he hasn't done anything like this before. Outright claiming someone? That's new territory for him." Minho said.

"No wonder it was so hard for him to pursue y/n." Seungmin said, "Although I really did have a feeling it was going to be Hannie that ended up with her."

Ji made a face, "Never. Our love isn't romantic, even though we both love skinship."

They were interrupted by the wet sounds of you both still making out. 

 Ji started pouting again, shouting, "Yah! Are we going to play or what? Surely you can both hold off until later, sheesh." 

You pulled away and you and Channie laughed.

"Alright, let's play!" You said excitedly. 

Maybe this was new territory for you, but you felt comfortable in it already. You were so glad that you and Channie were able to find solace in each other. Maybe you guys weren't quite in love yet, but you were elated that he returned your feelings fully.  

This is the normal that Chan was talking about, and you wouldn't dream of having it any other way.

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But again, please be gentle in your criticism

[honeyedmiller]

A Burning Desire part four

firefighter!joel miller x f!reader

series masterlist | main masterlist

rating: 18+, minors dni

warnings: joel miller au, reader's family members finally get names in this, a whole lotta tooth-rotting fluff, sexual innuendos, sexual tension, your (fictional) brothers are a pain in the ass, reader has a nickname given by the brothers, smut (unprotected piv, f!oral receiving, fingering, body praise, quick handjob), no use of y/n.

word count: 9.2k (i'm so sorry)

a/n: sorry it took forever. life has been so hectic after graduating. thank you for sticking around <3

synopsis: you and joel take a road trip to san antonio for your sister’s wedding, and with feelings at an all-time high, you find it nearly impossible to resist each other.

“So what time are you and Joel leaving tomorrow?” Your sister asks on the other end of the line. 

Tomorrow was the rehearsal dinner for her wedding, and you had to drive out to San Antonio. Joel promised you countless times that he was more than happy to accompany you to the wedding, even though you warned him countless times about your family. 

“Probably around ten. He’s spending the night tonight so we can just get ready and leave in the morning.” You’re folding the last of your clothes to pack, phone tucked between your shoulder and ear as you mentally double check that you have everything you need in your suitcase. 

“Okay, good. Mom’s kind of upset that she hasn’t met this ‘mystery man’ as she calls it. She’s been dying to know all the details.” 

You roll your eyes and sigh, already knowing this weekend was going to be absolutely exhausting dealing with everyone. 

“She’ll literally meet him tomorrow. I kept our relationship at bay because of how she gets. Not to mention Andrew and Cole, and god knows what they’ll say to Joel tomorrow.” 

Your sister laughs, “That’s true. Can’t imagine they won’t harass him about treating you right. I’ll make sure to keep them in check.” 

“Em, you know they will. They hovered when Christian and I broke up.” 

“I know. But Joel’s a good man. The whole family will love him.” 

“I really hope you’re right.” 

“Always am. Call it big sister’s intuition.” 

“Funny.” You scoff with a smile, closing your suitcase. 

“I know. Hey, Josh and I have to talk to the wedding planner about a few last minute details. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” She says. 

“See you tomorrow, Em. Love you.” 

“Love you too!” 

The line goes dead and you sigh, tossing your phone onto your bed. You were trying to mentally prepare yourself for the hellfire you were going to receive after keeping Joel a secret for awhile. You looked at your bedside table and the alarm clock on top of it, red numbers blinking at you to remind you you still had a few more hours until Joel would be coming over. 

Nerves settled in about him meeting your family, but nobody could resist Joel and his Southern charm. You couldn’t help but fantasize that your whole family loved him, welcoming him in with open arms. God, you hope that was the case. 

-

You killed time by cooking some dinner and watching some more of The Bachelor, feeding into the drama of the show. You were so invested that you almost didn’t hear the knock on your door. 

The feeling of giddiness took over your body as you opened the door, revealing your boyfriend. He had a small smile on his face, but his eyes were tired. 

“Hey baby,” You say, stepping to the side for him, “C’mon in. I made us some dinner. Figured you could eat after your shift.” 

Joel groans in appreciation. “Thank you darlin’.” He sets his bag down and closes your door, locking it before wrapping his arms around you. He buried his face into your neck, breathing in your scent for a minute. 

You could sense something was wrong, but you didn’t want to push him about it. Maybe a little shove wouldn’t hurt, though.

You run your fingers through his soft curls before turning your head to the side to kiss his neck, separating yourself from him for a brief moment. 

“You okay?” Worry was evident in your voice, and he couldn’t help but melt at the concern written all over your face as you took his in between your hands. 

He nodded, but you weren’t convinced. You could see it in his eyes, sensing that he was holding something back. 

“You can talk to me, you know. If you’d like. I don’t want to push you if you’re not ready, though.” You take his hand and lead him to the couch, coaxing him to sit down. You climbed behind him, sitting down to slot your thighs on either side of his. 

You start to rub his back, slowly putting pressure on any knots that you’d found. You kiss him between his shoulder blades, silence consuming the both of you for a good few minutes before you hear his faint whisper. 

“Rough shift. Had a call that didn’t go so well. Kinda shook up the whole firehouse.” 

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.” You wrap your arms around his torso, resting your cheek on his back. His hands cover yours and swipe his thumbs over you. 

You hear him sniffle and your head shoots up, attempting to turn his head toward you. He resists at first, but eventually melts into your soft touch and turns his face toward yours as you slightly lean over his broad frame. 

“It’s okay, Joel. You never have to hide how you’re feeling from me. If you need to cry about it, that’s fine. I’ll never think you’re less of a man for showing your emotions.” 

He offers you a small smile before leaning in to kiss your forehead, softly knocking his against yours as he sighs. 

“I’ve been so used to suppressin’ rough calls for years. Nobody to turn to except my coworkers n’ Tommy, and even then it’s not somethin’ we all collectively talk about. My ex,” He huffs an angry laugh at the mention of her, “Sarah’s mom. She– she always told me that cryin’ about how tough my job can be sometimes isn’t somethin’ a real man does. No man should cry over a job. So I just pretended. I pretended that the job didn’t affect me anymore, that I was fine every time I came home. I pretended to be okay when in reality I jus’ wanted to fuckin’ scream and cry.” He turns his head to the side again as more tears silently cascade down his beautiful face. 

“Hey, look at me,” Your voice is soft, as if you’re trying not to scare an already frightened animal. “I can promise you that you never have to pretend with me.” You wipe his tears with your thumb, kissing his cheek softly as you continue to gently rub his back. 

“Y’don’t know how much that means to me, darlin’. It’s not easy carryin’ the weight of this job on my shoulders alone. I don’t want to burden you with any of it–”

“Hey, none of that alright? You’re not burdening me. I can’t even imagine the terrible things you’ve seen and endured while on the job. I swear to you that I’m here to listen. Or just be a shoulder to lay on. We don’t even need to talk if you don’t want to, but just know that option is always there.” 

He turns his head to kiss your temple, squeezing his eyes shut before leaning his head back onto your shoulder. 

The “L” word rolled around in your mind for a split second. A month and a half ago, it would’ve scared you. But now, being here with Joel, it just seemed so normal and comfortable. He may have felt the same too, you think. Maybe it was too early to tell. 

-

You wish it was a morning where you and Joel could laze around and relax. Waking up beside him gave you a sense of comfort you hadn’t experienced in so long. You secretly study his face as he sleeps: tan skin glowing from the morning sunlight, eyelashes fanned over his cheeks, messy curls resting haphazardly over his forehead, and plump lips parted as he emits soft snores. 

He’s so handsome. 

You couldn’t help but bring your hand out to trace his face with your fingertips, leaning forward to gently kiss his cheek. 

His eyebrows scrunch together as he slowly begins to wake from his slumber, hands shooting up to rub over his face. His eyes find yours when he drops his hands from his face, a grin curling onto his lips. 

“Mornin’ baby.” His voice was deep and raspy, still full of sleep. It made something stir deep down inside of you. 

“Morning, handsome.” You kiss the tip of his nose before sitting up to get out of bed, but Joel pulls you back by your wrist and maneuvers you so you’re laying on top of him. 

You laugh as he wraps his arms around you securely, making sure you can’t move an inch or wiggle away. 

“We gotta get up and get going, Joel.” 

He groans loudly, the sound vibrating his whole body and yours. “Five more minutes.” His muffled voice says from underneath you. 

“Uh uh, cowboy. C’mon, I’ll make you a thermos of coffee.” You tap his stomach twice before he releases you to stand on your feet. You make your way into the kitchen, fighting the urge to look back at Joel, because you knew you’d give him more than five minutes if you did. 

You start up the coffee pot and lean against the counter, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Joel emerges in the kitchen shortly after, leaning against the wall as he admires you in your sleepy state. 

“What?” You ask, cocking an eyebrow up at him. 

“Nothin’ baby.” He smiles before coming into the kitchen, lifting you up on the counter and slotting himself between your legs. 

“Mmmhm.” You say, putting your hands on his warm chest. You feel his heartbeat beneath your fingertips and notice it’s slightly elevated, which you can’t help but smile at. 

Joel leans in to you and kisses your neck, and you can’t help but loll your head to the side to give him better access. His lips graze over your pulse point and you instinctively grip onto his biceps, trying your hardest to suppress a moan. 

“Joel—” 

“Hm? What is it, pretty girl?” 

“If you keep doing that, we’re never—fuck— never gonna leave in time.” He pokes his tongue out and drags it down your jugular, kissing the base of your neck before lightly nibbling on your soft flesh. 

“Doin’ what, baby?” He teases, smirking against you. 

“You know what, cowboy,” And before he could retort, the coffee maker beeps to indicate Joel’s coffee was done. “Saved by the bell.” You mumble, gently separating yourself from Joel. His honey brown gaze bores into yours as he chuckles at your flustered state before sliding his phone out of his pocket. 

He types in the address to the hotel the wedding party was staying at. Joel meticulously calculates the stops you may need to make along the way before looking at you again. 

 “Should take us about an hour and a half to get there. Two hours if there’s heavy traffic.” 

“It’s not too late to back out, you know.” 

“‘N why would I do that, darlin’?” 

“To save yourself from the chaos that the weekend will bring. I can tell my family you had to work instead. Nobody can get mad at a firefighter for working.” 

Joel tosses his head back as he gutturally laughs, shoulders shaking. The whole thing was a little ridiculous, but you know how your family is, and you were ultimately just looking out for him. 

His gaze meets yours, a glint of adoration in his eyes as he leans forward. You can’t help the stupid grin that curls onto your lips as he gently nudges your body closer to his, finally slotting his lips with yours. 

You’ll never get tired of those butterflies that rumble rambunctiously in your tummy every time you kiss him. 

He leans back a little, and with his irresistible charm, winks at you before he huffs another small laugh. “Wouldn’t dream of it, baby.” 

You hop off the counter and pat his abdomen adoringly before flashing him a grin. “Well then, cowboy, let's get to it.”

-

The drive wasn’t as bad as you’d thought it would be, pulling up to the hotel around one in the afternoon. Joel unloads your luggage from the bed of his truck and you wrap your arm around his bicep, walking toward the lobby after he locks up. It was a fancy hotel located right next to the Riverwalk with a huge ballroom for the reception. You had to hand it to your sister and Josh; this place was absolutely beautiful. 

You walked up to the reception desk with Joel in tow, and the spunky brunette smiled as you approached her. 

“Hi, we’re here for the Martinez wedding.” 

“First name?” The receptionist asks, typing something into her computer. You give her your first name and she pulls two keys out of a cardholder, handing it over to you. 

“Ah, sister of the bride! How exciting. You two will be on the seventh floor, third room on the right after you get out of the elevator. Enjoy your stay.” 

“Thank you so much.” You say, taking the card keys from her before you step away from the desk. You and Joel were heading towards the elevator when you heard a familiar voice call your name, and you turned around to see your brothers. 

Panic overtook your body for a few seconds, glancing at Joel who gave you a small smile. How was he always so calm? 

“Thought you could sneak past us without saying hi?” Cole says with a shit-eating grin, eyeing Joel as he comes up to you to give you a hug. 

“You ain’t slick, Shadow.” Andrew says, hugging you after Cole. 

“God, Andy, seriously? That nickname?”

”What, you afraid we’re gonna embarrass you in front of your boyfriend that you’ve been hiding from us?” Cole jerks his head toward Joel, who shifts on his weight as he lets go of his suitcase. 

“Shut up, Cole,” You roll your eyes, huffing a laugh. “Joel, these are my idiot brothers Andrew and Cole. Andy, Cole, this is my boyfriend Joel.” You introduce them, and Joel puts on his best smile before extending his hand. 

“Nice to meet you both.” He says, and it’s comical how both of your brothers try to come off as intimidating toward Joel. Joel keeps a calm demeanor anyhow; his steady, charming smile never wavering. 

“Uh huh. Nice to meet you too. Hey, let us buy you a drink, yeah?” Andrew says, jerking his head toward the bar located at the far end of the lobby. Joel glances at you as you give him a tight-lipped smile, wrapping your hand around his bicep once more. You turn back to your brothers before sighing. 

“Let us put our bags up in our room first before I let you harass him. Jesus.” You half-joke, and Cole claps Joel on the shoulder. 

“What makes you think we’re gonna harass him, Shadow? We’re just looking out for ya.” 

“That’s what I’m afraid of. Now please let go of his shoulder.” You roll your eyes and tug on Joel’s arm gently, coaxing him to follow you to the elevators. 

“Fine. See you down here in a few.” 

You wave your brothers off before getting into the elevator, hitting the seventh floor button. 

“Jesus, Joel, I’m so sorry. Thought we’d get a chance to fucking breathe before my brothers started literally harassing you.” 

He laughs and shakes his head, giving your temple a kiss. “Ain’t nothin’ to worry about, baby. They’re just bein’ protective. I get it.” 

“Just… take anything they might say with a grain of salt.” 

He chuckles and nods as the elevator dings and the door opens to the seventh floor. You stop in front of your room and open the door, gasping at how beautiful it is. The king bed in the middle looks absolutely heavenly, and your mind can’t help the  image flashing in your mind of you and Joel getting tangled in those very sheets. Heat rushes to your face at the thought, and you walk over to the window to distract yourself. The gleaming summer sun reflects on the calm waters below at the Riverwalk, giving it a mesmerizing gleam. 

Joel wraps his arms around your waist from behind and kisses your shoulder. “Beautiful,” He murmurs, but unbeknownst to you, he wasn’t talking about the water below. 

“We should go back down so my brothers don’t give you more shit than you’re probably going to get.” You grimace at the thought of what they’re going to say to him. 

Joel chuckles and playfully shakes you before loosening his grasp on your midsection. 

“Just promise me you won’t run for the hills if they get to be too much. I’ll put them in their place.” You offer, and Joel kisses your forehead. 

“I’d only run if you were right by my side, baby.” 

-

Joel didn’t know what to expect from your brothers. He could feel the nerves buzzing off of you as you both made your way back to the elevator to go down to the lobby again, and he wanted nothing more than to ease your erratic nerves. 

He knew from the very beginning that he’d be in the long haul of things with you, so he knew facing your family at some point was going to happen. Absolutely nothing your brothers say or do will make him ‘run for the hills’, as you’d put it. 

Joel thought the look you tossed his way when the elevator doors opened to the lobby was adorable. He could tell that you wanted this to go well, and who was he to let you down? 

Joel gave your hand a squeeze as you both made your way up to your brothers again. 

“Joel, how ‘bout that drink.” Andrew says, head jerking toward the bar on the opposite end of the lobby. 

“Sure.” He says, trying to keep his cool. He wondered briefly if this was the slight fear you might’ve felt when you met Sarah. 

“I’m gonna go find mom and Em.” You say, giving Joel a kiss on the cheek. He watches you walk out before your brothers tug him along to the bar area, ordering a round of Lone Star. 

“So I’m a real cut-to-the-chase type guy,” Andrew starts, settling into the barstool next to Joel. Joel nods and sits up straight before taking a swig of his beer to ease his nerves. “I’m sure you’re aware of our sister’s past relationship. Who’s to say you won’t hurt her like that asshole did?” 

Joel was taken aback at Andrew’s bluntness, but his expression never wavered or gave anything away. “I know what it’s like to be hurt in a way that ya can’t ever forget about. The mother of my child left when my baby girl was only a year old. Said she couldn’t handle bein’ a parent n’ left me to fend for myself. Bein’ hurt like that,” Joel shakes his head and looks down, “It ain’t right. I would never want anyone to feel the way I felt when she walked out the door. I know your sister’s situation is a bit different, but my feelings toward it are all the same. I like your sister a whole lot n’ the last thing on God’s green Earth I’d ever wanna do is hurt ‘er.” 

Andrew nods, weighing Joel’s answer in his head. Joel was telling the truth. He’d never want to hurt you. You deserve to be happy, and he knows you can do that completely on your own, but he loves to be the reason behind it. He loves seeing you smile knowing he’s the reason it’s there in the first place. 

“What do you do for work?” Cole changed the subject, and Joel shifts his gaze to the younger brother. 

“I’m a firefighter for the city of Austin.” 

“I’ll be damned. Shadow always said she loved a man in uniform,” Cole teased, and the three men chuckled in unison. 

“How come y’all call her Shadow? She’s never told me anythin’ about that story.” Joel says, and the brothers can’t help but smile at the opportunity to tease their little sister.

“She was afraid of her shadow when she was younger, maybe around like two or three years old. We’d always tease her about it and the nickname just stuck.” 

“‘S actually really funny.” Joel said, thinking about how he’d be able to tease you later on with the newfound information. 

“So how did you meet our sister? She hasn’t told us a damn thing about you.” Cole grimaces, taking a sip of his beer. 

“I met her at a local coffee shop near her apartment. She actually made the first move,” Joel recalls, and he can’t help but smile at the memory. “She paid for my coffee.” 

“That’s pretty out of character for her. She’s usually pretty shy.” Andrew said. 

“Believe me, I was surprised. She was so sweet… after I caught her checkin’ me out. I was in uniform.” Joel laughs, and the brothers join in with him. 

“Told ya she loves a man in uniform.” Cole nudges Joel. 

“You said you’re a firefighter,” Andrew repeats aloud, wheels turning in his head. “Shit, the accident,” He says, looking at Joel. Joel nods, not quite sure where he was going with this. 

“Wasn’t pretty. Got the call and I saw her car—”

“Wait, so you were on the scene? You’re telling me you’re the one who got our sister out of her car?” Andrew was bewildered, blinking rapidly in complete disbelief. 

Joel furrowed his brows and looked down at his knotted hands, reliving that moment in his head. 

“Yeah. I’d only known her for hours at that point, but all I knew was that I needed to get her out of there. Scared the hell outta me.” 

“Unbelievable. Can’t believe she left out that huge detail,” Cole chuckles and shakes his head, but looks up at Joel in all seriousness. “Thank you for saving her.” 

Joel gives them both a soft smile. “I’d save her all over again in a heartbeat.” 

“You’re a damn hero, man. To our sister and to Austin.” 

Joel never knew how to accept compliments that well, let alone the hero compliments. He just saw it as doing his job and getting to help those in need. 

“Well, cheers to you. We can both tell you’re an honest man and anyone who’s willing to literally—and figuratively, I guess—save our sister is a man who has our utmost respect.” Andrew says, holding his beer bottle up in the air. 

Cole raised his bottle and Joel followed suit, an echo of ‘cheers’ being thrown around. Joel’s nerves dissolved like cotton candy in water, relief flooding through his bones that your brothers approved of him. He knew meeting your dad was going to be an even bigger deal, so he was holding onto hope that it would go just as well. 

-

“So when am I meeting this Joel of yours?” Your mom says, perching her glasses on the bridge of her nose as she took a sip of her margarita. You found her and Emily poolside as they sipped their drinks while talking about last minute wedding details. 

“He’s at the bar in the lobby getting harassed by Andy and Cole.” You roll your eyes, and Emily laughs. 

“He’s a good man. I’m sure they’re all buddy-buddy now. Men are simple when it comes to meeting new people.” Emily waves her hand dismissively, easing your nerves a little. 

“Where’s dad?” You ask, looking between Emily and your mom. 

Your mom scoffs, “He’s upstairs taking a nap. Told him he wouldn’t be tired tonight but he seemed to think otherwise.” 

“He’s probably overwhelmed with all the wedding stuff.” You offer with a shrug, and your mom huffs. 

“He isn’t the one planning the damn thing.” 

“There you guys are!” Cole calls out to you three, Andrew and Joel in tow. Your eyes lock on Joel’s gaze and you’re relieved to see he made it out of the interrogation unscathed. 

He makes his way over to you, leaning down to give you a chaste kiss. 

“So you must be Joel.” Your mom says, eyes alight at the exchange you and Joel had. 

“I am. It’s so great to meet you, Mrs.—”

Your mom waves her hand to dismiss his formalities. “Oh, none of that. Just call me Alexandria. It’s nice to finally meet the man who’s been making my youngest daughter so happy.” She grins up at him, and it was easy to clock the blush that spreads over his tan cheeks. 

“I can argue that she makes me the happiest I’ve ever been.” He looks down at you and shoots you a wink, and you can’t help but roll your eyes playfully. 

“Touché, Miller.” You say, warmth filling your body as he wraps his arm around your waist. 

Everyone got into chatting about the rehearsal dinner and the bar of choice afterwards, scampering off to their respective rooms. 

It only took a couple of hours for everyone to get ready and head down to the lobby, being shuffled into the courtyard by hotel staff. Sage green and cream decorations adorned the spacious place with rows of chairs neatly lined up for the big day tomorrow. The gazebo at the end of the walkway was strewn with fairy lights that gave a soft glow that added to to romantic ambience. 

For a split second, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander to what your future wedding would look like… with Joel. You may have been presumptuous in thinking such a thing, but you truly felt deep down that this was the man you were meant to marry. 

The wedding coordinator lined all of the bridesmaids and groomsmen up, and you took your respectable place next to Karina who was your sister’s best friend and maid of honor. 

After two full run-throughs of the ceremony and placement adjustments, the wedding coordinator took everyone to the ballroom where the reception was being held.

It wasn’t long before everyone finished their dinners, polite conversation being held as the night went on. 

“So you’re the Joel everyone’s been buzzing about.” Your dad says, and you give him a stern look to say go easy on him. Not that Joel couldn’t handle himself, but because your dad could get a little out of hand at times. 

“Yes sir, that’s me.” He says, grabbing your hand underneath the table to give it a squeeze. 

“I hear you’re a firefighter. Good man.” Your dad nods in approval, and proceeds to ask Joel about some calls he’s gotten in the past. Everyone at the table was listening intently to him, curious as to what life as a firefighter is really like. 

Your gaze roams to your mom, who’s already looking between you and Joel with a sparkle in her eye you’d never seen before. She gives you a wink and sips her wine, turning her attention back to Joel. 

It seems his Southern charm and calm demeanor had won every single one of your family members over, and relief floods through your body at that. That’s all you wanted, and you couldn’t have been happier to see it become a reality. 

-

After dinner, Josh and Emily told everyone that they weren’t having a ‘traditional’ bachelor and bachelorette party. Instead, they wanted to go to a bar together and have a few drinks with everyone as one last celebration before they both say I do. 

It wasn’t surprising to you. Your sister had always been the homebody type and Josh was right there with her. You thought it was romantic in a sense, knowing that they really didn’t need anything big or to spend time apart before their big day. 

The bar was a few buildings down from the hotel, with a huge dance floor in the middle and patrons singing along to the mix of music that was playing as they drank. 

Your dad ordered a round of shots for everybody, making a toast to Josh and Emily. 

“To the bride and groom to be.” Your dad says, and everyone clinks their glasses together before throwing back their liquor. 

You shudder at the taste, setting the cup down onto the sticky bartop. 

“May I have this dance?” Joel asks you, holding his hand out for you to take. You grin and grab his hand, grip steady as he leads you out to the dance floor. 

You steadily sway to the song as you lean your head on Joel’s shoulder, letting him guide you to the beat. You glance up to see your family members have joined you both on the dance floor, and you smile in content as you squeeze Joel’s hand. He kisses your head before separating you, spinning you around so your back is against his front. 

He rocks you slowly, resting his chin on your shoulder before kissing your cheek. 

“‘M real happy you let me tag along this weekend, sweetheart.” Joel says, and you turn your head toward him and quirk an eyebrow. 

“Yeah? And why’s that?” 

“‘S nice to get out of Austin every once in a while. Your family is real invitin’, too.” 

“Before or after they interrogated you?” You ask with a smirk, and he laughs before spinning you again so you’re face-to-face. 

“Mostly after.” He confesses with a softness to his voice. You study his features unashamedly, the soft smile he has on his lips making your heart skip a beat as he looks at you with half-lidded eyes. 

There’s a certainty behind them that you can’t exactly pinpoint, but it made your whole body feel warm and fuzzy inside and you honest to god never wanted to forget the feeling. Joel is the only man who’s made you feel things you’ve never felt. He’s the only man who’s ever kept you on your toes yet has this overwhelming sense of comfort to him that just makes you want to give it all to him. 

And by the way he was looking back at you, you’d bet his thoughts are similar to yours. 

“You two are so in love it makes me sick.” Andrew sidles up beside you, nudging you in your ribs. 

Your eyes go wide and you look at your brother in panic, pleading him to shut the fuck up before you kill him with your bare hands. 

“Fuck off, Andy.” You roll your eyes, trying to play it cool. You didn’t deny the painfully obvious fact, though. You didn’t want to deny it. 

Was it fast? Yes. But you couldn’t help how you felt. You were tired of running from something that was great for you. You were tired of running from solidity and peace and patience and love, all of which Joel gave you without having to say a single word. 

And then you realized—Joel never denied it either. He didn’t deny it when your brother’s loud mouth said that sacred word. He didn’t deny it when you looked at him again, that familiar look in his eyes returning as he just smiled at you, seemingly content in every possible way. 

Before you could say anything, Cole comes up to you while waving a crisp twenty dollar bill in your face. 

“Betcha one Jackson that you can’t ride that bull over there and stay on for more than a minute.” He’s got a mischievous glint in his eyes, and you’d take any opportunity to prove your brother wrong. 

“Oh, I will. After this song though,” You grin at Joel as Boot Scootin’ Boogie plays over the speakers. “C’mon cowboy, I wanna show off my new moves.” 

Joel easily obliges as he takes you deeper onto the dance floor. You’re slotted in a mix of a sweaty and drunken crowd, too far gone to care if they’re too off-beat or embarrassing themselves. 

You follow Joel’s lead and you two easily end up in sync with one another, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Somewhere between the spin in the chorus and the two-step move he’d taught you, you catch your family members staring at the two of you. Your mom whispers something to your sister, and you hope to god she didn’t change her opinion of him or something after seeing you two dancing like this. 

Emily knows you better than the back of her fucking hand, though, and she instantly reassures you with a smile and thumbs up before panic settles into your bones. 

Although it seems everyone in your immediate family approves of Joel, it would devastate you if they changed their minds about him for whatever reason. He wasn’t your ex. They at least knew that much. As much as you loved them, they were overbearing sometimes when it came to protecting you after what’d happened with Christian. You didn’t need that to drive a wedge between you and Joel, no matter how much of a forewarning you give him. 

The song ends and reality trickles back around you, as Joel spins you into him, giving you a chaste kiss. Your eyes flutter open after you pull away in the slightest, and there it is — that look — unwavering, and clear as day in his eyes. 

“Go show ‘em how you ride it.” He remarks, shooting you a wink. Your face heats at his obvious innuendo, and he can’t help the sly smirk that grows on his lips. 

Without another word, he releases you from his grasp and urges you toward your brother, still waving the twenty in his hand around like a flag. 

You roll your eyes at him and climb up onto the mechanical bull, the DJ timing you into when the machine will start to move. 

It was slow at first, and you easily found a rhythm to keep steady on its back. It started to jerk around and spin faster, and your thighs burned as you clenched onto the sides for dear life. You wanted to give a little show though, so you placed your hands behind your back and looked up at your brother with a wicked grin. 

His face deflated as he knew he’d been beaten. Your eyes flicker to Joel and you want to laugh at his expression—it seemed to be a cross between lust, admiration and astonishment. 

Oh, cowboy. You have no idea what you’re in for. 

The DJ announces your victory and the patrons of the bar cheer you on as you hop off of the bull. You walk up to Cole and snatch the twenty bucks from his hand before leaning into Joel, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

“Wanna go back to the hotel room? I’m beat.” You ask Joel, and he nods. You say goodnight to your family and other members of the wedding party before you both head back in a comfortable silence. 

Exhaustion settles in your bones as you fall into step side-by-side, and Joel pulls you into him as you walk into the lobby of the hotel. You make your way onto the elevators and Joel presses the button of your floor, looking at you with a softness in his eyes as he settles his hand on your shoulder. 

“Thank you again for doing this whole wedding fiasco with me.” You say, voice full of exhaustion. He shoots you a soft smile and pulls you in, wrapping his arms around you securely. You mirror his actions as you look at him, an adoring gaze sparkling in his eyes. He leans in and kisses your forehead, giving your body a small squeeze. 

“Of course, darlin’.” 

You went to bed that night with Joel’s arm wrapped around you and a mind of racing thoughts, all consumed by that feeling again—the terrifying, wonderful feeling that kept playing in your mind as if it was the most obvious conclusion you’ve ever come to. 

-

The next morning was a blur. You got up early, trying not to disturb Joel because he looked so peaceful in his sleep. It was chaos amongst the bridal party with everyone getting ready and your sister revealing her final look to the girls. Tears sprang in your eyes as you saw her with the biggest smile on her face, unwavering as she twirled around in her dress that fit like a glove. 

“Emi, you look so beautiful. Josh is going to lose it when he sees you.” You say, sniffling as she gives you a tight hug. 

“I love you sis. Thank you for being a part of my big day.” She says, rubbing your back before pulling apart from you. You grin at her and blow her a kiss, turning when you feel your mom slightly nudge you. 

“Speaking of losing it, Joel’s gonna be head over heels seeing you in this dress,” Your mom says, “Wonder what he’ll be like when it’s your guys’ wedding and he sees you in a bridal gown.”

“Mom,” You stop her, but you can’t help the way your heart stutters at the thought of marriage with him. “Please don’t.”

Way too fucking soon. Right?

Your mom throws her hands up in defense, giving you a knowing look. 

“That man is in love with you, baby. He looks at you like you’re the sun, moon and stars.” 

That feeling tugged at you once again. You began to internally panic, but luckily the bridal party got called to an area in the hotel to take pictures. You needed a distraction, because knowing you and your mind, you’d unintentionally start self-sabotaging your relationship with Joel.��

Fuck, your ex really did a number on you. 

The day seemed to run by in a blur. Watching your sister say ‘I do’ to the love of her life made you glance over at Joel in the crowd, and to your surprise, his focus was already on you. 

There was this undeniably soft look in his eyes that said a million words without him having to utter a single one. He winks at you with a small smile and you mirror his grin, heading back down the aisle after Emily and Josh made their way down. 

A few hours later it was well into the reception, and Joel offered you his hand so you could slow dance with each other. 

“You know this thing drives me crazy, right?” You say, tapping the brim of his Stetson. He looked at you with a smirk, raising his eyebrows. 

“Really? Couldn’t tell.” Sarcasm dripped from his voice and you rolled your eyes as you huffed a laugh. He was wearing an emerald green button down with black slacks and black shoes, and his black cowboy hat tied the whole look together. He’d been getting stares all night by various family members and friends from both sides of the parties. 

You thought jealousy would’ve brewed its way into you, sinking her claws into your flesh—but it was the complete opposite. Pride blooms in your chest as you slow dance with this handsome man—your handsome man. 

“You look absolutely breathtakin’ tonight though, baby.” Joel whispers in your ear as you lean your head on his shoulder, taking in his addicting scent. 

You smile against him and bring your arm up over his other shoulder, gently wrapping your fingers around the base of his neck. Your index finger twirls the curls peeking out of the bottom of his hat absentmindedly, swaying with him with total ease. 

“I can say the same for you.” You murmur, and he squeezes your waist softly. 

“Yeah?” 

You lift your head off of his shoulder to meet his gaze, light and playful. A glint of mischief flashes in his eyes and you bite your lip in anticipation, the bubbling arousal having never left you since the previous night. 

You nod, hesitating for a second to find the right words. You knew you wanted to take the next step with him and finally go all the way without being interrupted. That is, if he’d have you. 

“I’d love to show you.” You whisper as the song ends. An upbeat tune plays immediately after, everyone crowding on the dance floor. It was the perfect time to make an escape. 

He links his fingers with yours, leaning forward to kiss you. You can’t help but smile as his lips press to yours, and you can’t help yourself—you take the hat off of his head mid-kiss, plopping it onto yours. He separates himself from you with a soft smile and a daring glint in his gaze. 

He tsked at you teasingly, adjusting the hat to sit straight onto your head. 

“What was that about the ‘Cowboy Hat Rule’ again?” You feign innocence, and he can’t help but laugh at your antics, ultimately deciding to play along. 

“How ‘bout I show you rather than tell you?” He says, and that’s all you need to gently tug him away from the crowd and toward the lobby. You make your way to the elevators, nerves buzzing through your veins at the prospect of what’s to happen. 

After what feels like forever, the elevator doors finally open and you both step inside. The doors close after Joel hits the seventh floor button, and the tension radiating off of both of you in such a confined space was nearly unbearable. 

Joel takes his hat off of your head and gently pushes you against the elevator wall, crowding you with his broad body. Your heart is beating a million miles a minute as you stare at him, gaze never wavering. 

You open your mouth to say something, but Joel crashes his lips to yours in fervor. You moan into the kiss as you tangle your hands through his curls, tugging on the base of them. 

His free hand finds your hip and squeezes, rutting his hips into yours. You can feel his bulge through his slacks, and you can’t help but whimper into the intense kiss as one hand travels down his back. 

Before you can touch him any further, the elevator dings and he separates from you, locking eyes with an elderly couple. 

The woman has a knowing smile on her face and sighs, “Oh, to be young and in love.” Joel takes your hand and leads you out of the elevator and to your shared room, fumbling with the key. It almost calms you in a way to know you aren’t the only one filled with nerves, anxious about finally being able to have this time to yourselves. 

Joel tossed the keycard onto the side table when he finally got it open, putting his hand on your lower back to guide you into the room. The soft glow of the lamp illuminates his handsome features as he stares at you admirably, tossing his Stetson onto a chair next to the bed without looking. 

Joel steps closer to you, grabbing your hips gently before leaving a trail of kisses from your forehead, nose, cheek, and finally, your lips. The kiss was softer this time—full of emotion, saying a thousand words with one simple gesture. 

His hands skate up your back and to the zipper of your dress, parting his lips from yours as he looks into your eyes. 

“Can I?” His voice is soft but hopeful, and you instantly nod. He drags the zipper down your back with ease, slowly removing the straps from your shoulders. The dress pools to your feet below you, and you’re left in a lacy nude and black bra with black panties. Joel’s eyes rake over your body hungrily, hands twitching at his sides. 

“You’re so beautiful, baby.” 

You can’t help but feel shy for a second, but Joel wasn’t having any of that. He grips your chin between his thumb and forefinger, kissing your lips a few times before he nods his head to the bed. 

“On the bed, baby. Spread your legs for me.” His deep, commanding tone sent a shiver down your spine. You didn’t know what to expect, but it definitely wasn’t this. 

You do as you’re told, settling your head onto the plush pillows as you let your legs fall open. Joel moves to untuck his green shirt. He unbuttons the shirt slowly, never breaking eye contact with you. You bite your lip teasingly as you watch him undress, and his thick, tan torso comes into sight. 

“Fuck, you’re so sexy, you know that?” You say, but it nearly sounds like a whine. Joel flashes you a smirk before climbing onto the bed, slotting himself between your legs. Your arms grip his shoulders before grabbing the green material, sliding it off of his arms completely before tossing it onto the floor for him. You kiss his shoulder and neck, hands moving up to tangle themselves in his curls once again. 

He ruts his hips into you, and the pressure of his bulge catches perfectly onto your aching clit. You moan his name softly, moving one hand down to gently palm him through his slacks.  

“Can’t believe we finally get to do this without any interruptions.” Joel chuckles, moving down to kiss your neck. 

“Let’s not hold our breaths.” You say teasingly, fingers moving to unbutton and unzip his slacks. He allows it, not stopping you from eagerly undressing the rest of him. 

He separates himself from you, sliding the slacks down his legs before moving down the bed, kissing your body as he goes. His tongue traces lines down your thighs, dangerously close to your aching core, before he kisses your skin. He continues the assault of kisses until his mouth is hovering over the only thing that separates your most intimate part from him and his line of sight. He kisses the lace fabric once, then pokes his tongue out to drag the strong muscle from your entrance to your clit. 

You can’t hold back your moans anymore. You need him so bad. 

Your body was nearly shaking from the buzz of anticipation coursing through your veins, aching to have his hands and mouth all over you. 

He finally hooks his fingers into the side of your panties, tapping your hips twice to silently instruct you to lift them. You comply once more, and Joel drags the lace material down your legs. 

He comes back up to you, kissing your lips once before settling his face between your legs again. 

You feel so exposed and almost embarrassed, but the carnal need for this man outweighs the shyness a thousand times over. 

“So perfect, baby. So goddamn perfect. ‘N all mine.” He says, looking up at you before separating your glistening folds with his middle and forefinger. You gasp and whine his name as he just stares at you, mesmerized by the way you squirm under his touch. 

You try to beg and plead him to do anything, but the words won’t come out. 

He seems to have decided he’s teased you enough, because the next thing you know, his tongue licks a long stripe up from your entrance, through your folds, and up to your clit. Your moans only spur him on as he solely focuses on you, eating your pussy like a starved man. 

Nobody has ever turned you on the way Joel Miller has, and you cannot for the life of you believe this man is yours. He’s yours, and he’s here, very present and very meticulous when it comes to pleasing you with that beautiful mouth of his. 

Joel moves his tongue down and prods into your entrance, fucking you with the muscle. Your back arches off of the mattress and he has to use both of his hands to hold your hips down, locking his fingers down into your flesh. 

“Fuck, Joel—” You squeak out as his tongue moves up to your clit, circling it a few times before sucking it into his mouth gently. The pressure is just right, and your brain is getting fuzzy—you knew you weren’t going to last much longer. 

Joel takes one of his hands away from your stomach before separating his mouth from you, coating his digits in your slick. He sends a wicked smirk your way before going down again, and this time, his middle and ring finger enter you. 

It stings so good, mainly because you haven’t had this in a long time. He pumps his fingers in and out of you at an expert pace, curling them up to hit that sweet spongy spot. 

You immediately crumble. Your hips are writhing wildly beneath his half-soaked face as you cry out his name over and over again. You’re gushing all over his fingers, desperately gripping onto the soft comforter beneath you as you ride out your intense orgasm. 

“Atta girl,” Joel breathes, mesmerized by the way you clench around nothing after he removes his fingers from you. “Taste so fuckin’ good, darlin’.” 

He moves up to kiss you, and you can immediately taste your slick arousal on his lips and tongue. You hum into the kiss as you palm him through his boxers, tugging on the band as you separate from him. He knocks his forehead against yours gently before sliding the material down his legs, now completely bare for you. 

His hand moves to the clasp of your bra and unhooks it easily, breasts spilling out as he tosses the material on the floor with the rest of the clothes. 

He looks down at you with a soft smile, and you can’t help but mirror his actions. It’s pure bliss and you selfishly never want this to end. His hand travels down your body and in between your legs, swirling the tip of his middle finger through your arousal. You gasp at the featherlight touch, clenching around nothing as he never breaks eye contact with you. 

You decide to return the favor, licking your hand before skimming your fingers over his torso before looking down to see them slide through the dark hairs that appear below his navel. You take in the sight of his cock; it’s girthy and the perfect length. You just know it’ll feel divine. You thumb the pre-come leaking from his tip, popping your finger into your mouth. 

You moan at the slightly salty taste, moving your hand back down to finally grip him with care. He feels heavy in your palm, warm and pulsating and fucking desperate for you to start rythmically moving your hand. You twist your wrist and start to pump him, and a guttural groan rumbles from the confines of his chest. 

“Fuck, baby—yeah, just like that. So good.” He groans softly, brows furrowing as he leans down to kiss you. 

And you spend the next few minutes like that—making out with Joel while he teases your swollen clit, fingers briefly delving into your entrance before moving back out, and your hand slowly twisting up and down his silky flesh. 

Something about this was so sweet to you, albeit the act being promiscuous. You were taking your time with each other, savoring every moment you have now. God knows when you’ll be able to do this in peace again once you get back to Austin. 

Joel’s body tenses for a second before he pushes your hand away, chuckling in defeat. 

“Don’t wanna come yet, sweetheart.”

You nod in understanding and he slips his fingers away from your dripping heat, bringing them up to your mouth. You eagerly suck on his fingers, staring up at him in a way to say I want you. I’m ready to have you—if you’ll have me. 

Joel climbs on top of you once more, kissing your forehead. He nudges his nose against yours before looking at you again. 

“Wait, I didn’t bring any protection.” His shoulders deflate at the realization, and you can’t help but softly laugh. 

“I have an IUD, Joel. Only if you’re comfortable with going through with this, I’m right there with you.” You reassure him. 

He looks concerned for a second, hesitating as if his mind is running a million miles a minute. 

“You sure about this, baby?” He asks, cupping your cheek in his hand before kissing your nose. You nod with no hesitation. 

“Absolutely sure, Joel. I’m yours.” You whisper, and he can’t help the grin that spreads across his face before he leans down to kiss you. He swipes the head of his cock through your folds, stopping at your entrance. 

He separates his lips from yours once more, “Tell me to stop if it’s too much, okay?” He says, and you nod. He hums in content, pushing himself into you slowly. 

You gasp at the stinging feeling, fingertips digging into the back of his shoulders. 

“There you go baby, that's it. Doin’ so well, pretty girl.” He praises, kissing your lips repeatedly as he reaches the hilt. 

The feeling is cosmic. The stretch is absolutely delicious. You whisper his name to him, threading your fingers through his hair once more in desperation as your meek voice finally found its way aloud. 

“Move, Joel. Please.” 

And he does. He starts off slow, rocking his hips into yours. The slide of his velvety length in and out of you is otherworldly. 

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he held onto the back of your neck, picking up his pace. He leans down to capture one of your breasts in his mouth, swirling his tongue expertly around your pert nipple as he continues rocking his hips into yours. 

Your moans are increasingly louder, not exactly giving a fuck who can hear you anymore. Your mind was solely consumed about the man ravishing your body in such a way that had you seeing stars. 

The weight of his body on yours, his soft groans, the heavy feeling of his cock, his scent, his curls—everything about him was all-consuming, and you loved it. 

“So pretty, baby. Feel so fuckin’ good. All mine.” Joel babbles, dropping his forehead onto your shoulder. You try to grind your hips in sync with his expert thrusts, creating an almost unbearably pleasurable friction. 

Your hands fly to his back and you scratch down his skin, head flying back onto the pillows as you arch your back into him. 

“Joel, fuck, I’m so close.” You cry, eyes squeezing shut as the familiar flame burns bright within your core. 

“Me too, baby, fuck—where–where do you want me?” He asks, chest heaving as his thrusts become impossibly faster. 

“In me, Joel. Please.” Your plea is breathy and desperate, and you feel yourself teetering over the edge, devastating euphoria ripping through your body as your cunt convulses around his cock. 

You bury your face into his shoulder, crying out his name. 

“Fuck, sweet girl, I—” 

His spend is warm as he comes, buried in you as he groans your name breathlessly. He slumps down onto you, wrapping his arm around your waist as he rolls over on his side, taking you with him. He slips out of you slowly and you both groan at the loss of contact. 

You nuzzle into him as he kisses your forehead repeatedly, running his hand up and down your spine as you both come down from the high. 

“Fuck, that was—” You pause, and Joel chuckles. 

“Yeah, it really was.” He agrees, tipping your jaw up so he can kiss you chastely. 

Your eyes were heavy now, tracing his hairline down to his jaw and to his lips. He kisses your fingers as exhaustion consumes you both. He throws the comforter over your bodies and he gives you one last kiss. 

“Goodnight, sweet girl,” And if you weren’t in such a comatose-like state, you would’ve heard him softly whisper the words “I love you.” 

And if you would’ve heard those words, you would’ve said them right back. It might’ve scared the hell out of you, but you could no longer deny the fact—

You were, in fact, in love with Joel Miller, too. 

taglist: @ilovepedro ; @nostalxgic ; @endlessthxxghts ; @punkshort ; @pamasaur ; @clawdee ; @pascalpvnk ; @bensonispunk ; @merz-8 ; @darkblue-tennesseee ; @typewriter83 ; @lizzie-cakes ; @sawymredfox ; @keylimebeag ; @nandan11 ; @pedropascalsbbg ; @pimosworld ; @yxtkiwiyxt ; @anoverwhelmingdin ; @kikaaauu ; @buckyispunk ; @untamedheart81 ; @picketniffler ; @fluffygoffpanda ; @paleidiot ; @survivingandenduring ; @party-hearses

divider by @saradika-graphics

[babygirlmurdock]

A Moment of Serenity

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: Matt comes home from a rough night as Daredevil, only to experience one of the most intimate moments of his life.

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: None! A whole lotta feelings though!

a/n: This is inspired by that one reddit post called, “My girlfriend washed my hair today” and it’s one of the most Matt Murdock posts I’ve ever read. There’s not a lot of dialogue which is out of my comfort zone because I love being chatty! But anyway, I hope all my “someone give Matt Murdock a hug” gang enjoys!

——————————————————————————

It was late at night. You must have fallen asleep on the couch waiting up for Matt to make sure he got home okay after his night out as Daredevil. Your eyes slowly opened and you took a minute to adjust to the bright light from your phone. 2:27 am. God, he’s never out this late. You started to collect yourself from his couch and walked to his bed wrapped in his soft plaid blanket. You were almost to the bedroom when you heard the rooftop door open and felt a bit of the cold breeze of late autumn air.

“Hey,” you spoke barely above a whisper. Your voice was soft, probably due to the fact that you haven’t spoken in a few hours. You looked up at Matt adorn in his red Devil suit. His chest slowly rose and fell as he made his way down the stairs. He didn’t speak. Just gives you a small smile as he removes his gloves and cowl. He sat down on the stairs to remove his boots and you made your way over to him to caress his face and kissed his forehead. Usually when Matt kept to himself after a long night, that meant he didn’t want to talk much. Which, you respected. If you were out bloodying gang members and other sorts of criminals, you wouldn’t want to talk about it either. You stepped back as he stood up to move towards his closet and noticed Matt wincing in pain as he reached towards the back of his suit to unzip himself.

“Oh, here, let me help you,” you put the blanket on his arm chair and made your way over to him to the back of him to unzip his suit. You peeled the suit over his shoulders so he didn’t have to lift his arm or move his body much.

“Thank you,” Matt whispered to you. You hated seeing him in pain. You immediately noticed his new scrapes and bruises on his ribs and back. He stripped down to his underwear and put his suit back in the trunk and pushed it into the closet and gently shut the doors.

“You’re welcome,” you said back to him as Matt made his way over to the bathroom. You heard the shower start. You listened to the shower door open until you made your way to the bathroom as well to join him. You undressed yourself and opened the shower door to be met with a very mopey Matt. He reached for the shampoo as you grabbed it from his hands.

“Let me do it,” you said to him. You moved yourself so now your back was hitting the water and Matt’s back was facing the tiles. You squeezed some of his shampoo in your hands and you started to lather it in his hair. Matt’s eyes fell shut and his shoulders slumped a little at your touch. He needed this. You can tell he had a really bad night. He wasn’t angry at you, he was more so angry at himself. Cursing himself for not putting somebody in a coma tonight. Matt’s hands were resting on your waist as you massaged the shampoo deeper onto his scalp. His eyes were shut as he was fully indulged in you. Listening to your steady breathing and heartbeat helped him with nights like these.

You took the shower nozzle off the holder and began to rinse Matt’s hair. Your gaze was soft on him. Admiring the beauty he holds. God, he’s so beautiful. You were so lucky to have him. You used your fingernails to lightly scratch his head. He let out a soft moan chased by your name. You put the shower nozzle back and grabbed his body wash. Lathering it up in your hands, you begin to massage Matt’s upper body, being careful around his new injuries. You trailed gentle kisses along his shoulders and chest.

“I’m sorry you had a shit night, Matt,” you expressed to him as his empty gaze fell upon you. His eyes were glossy. Almost like he was fighting back tears. “Are you crying? Am I hurting you?”

“No,” he scrubbed his face with his hands. “I’m just so used to people who are cold with me. I’m not used to this kind of thing.”

“Oh,” you were caught by surprise. Matt was always so kind and gentle with you. He understood your feelings more than anyone ever could. You can’t imagine how anyone could be cold to him.

He cupped your face, your eyes met his. You and Matt have been intimate with each other but nothing came close to the intimacy you two are sharing right now.

“I love you. So much. I am the luckiest man alive. You take such good care of me, and I don’t think there are enough words in the English language to express how much I am in love with you,” Matt said directly to your face. Tears stung your eyes. You always knew Matt felt this way about you, but you never heard him say he was in love with you. You blinked away any tears trying to escape your eyes and Matt’s lips met yours with such delicacy and care. Like he was handling a rare flower.

You pulled away, “I always knew the Devil had a sweet side,” you slyly said. “I love you more than anything in this world, Matthew. You deserve every single ounce of love and care I give you. Even though your brain makes you think otherwise.”

Matt kissed you again, and again, and again. Until he was peppering kisses all over your face. He kept on reminding you how much he loves you. You had a feeling he wanted to spend the rest of his days with you.

You two finished up the shower and made your ways to bed to go to sleep. You climbed into the sheets after brushing your hair. You laid your head on Matt’s chest listening to his heart as you both drift off to sleep.

[birdkatze]

"But werewolves aren't real?" || werewolf! 141 x werewolf! reader Part 7

Future pairings = poly 141 x reader

Chapter pairings = everyone/reader

Words = 1.7k

[Chapter 6] --- [Chapter 8]

Summery: After moving out of the big city and into the forest, you meet some men that might have some awners about whats been causing your pain.

Explicit under the cut

The drive into town wasn't terrible. Price decided to take you into the smaller town that was only a 15 minute drive instead of the large one.

“They have a lot of handmade stuff here, it's better than the stuff in the big box store…”

Nodding you look out the window as you parked, the town was very picturesque with everything in very good condition. It surprised you, you had definitely expected it to be a bit more run down.

Price, as if reading your mind huffed “Me and the others help keep the town running, we do a lot of repairs and construction..” he grasped your hand and looked at you with a more wolfish expression before licking your face.

You gasp and look at him feeling not as grossed out as before but still…You look at him confused and indignant “Whyyyyy do y’all keep doing that!”

“Gotta scent you..” Price replied, leading you away from the car and into the stores. “There are a few other wolf packs and other occult around..”

Price held the door into a shop and nonchalantly dropped “They need to know you're ours.”

Blue screening for a moment you look at Price shocked, but he quickly leads you into the back of the store. “Wait, are you the guy I talked to on the phone about the construction?”

“Mhhmh, I was wondering when ya’d pick up on that” Price smirked “Pick a few n’ then we'll grab some pillows and get some late lunch.”

You browse through the different fabrics, you pick up a few but set them down as soon as you feel the textures you set them down. You smile after you find three each plush and soft, you show them to Price “Are these ones good?”

He looks at you fondly and nods, “If you like them then they work..now let's grab a few pillows and some pillow covers.”

You nod and let Price lead you around the store again.

“What types do you guys like?” You ask, glancing up at Price.

“Why?”

“Well I assume you guys are gonna spend some time at my house and I want y’all to be comfortable.”

“I’ll grab them, you just pick what you like, yeah?” Price ran his hand gently up and down your back for a moment before moving on to grab the pillows like you asked. You grab a few longer ones and call it a day, trying to find Price only to get stopped by Ghost.

He froze like a deer in headlights. “Uh sorry for this morning…It was wrong of me to say the thi-” he glanced down at his hand and looked flustered for a second “-ngs I did, I am very sorry…?”

Looking closely you could see the smudges of black marker on his hand and wrist.

Ghost’s face was pink from blushing knowing he was caught, he turned away “Sorry my face goes red at random, it's because of how alpha I am.” His deadpan voice carried a hint of sarcasm which caused you to let out a breathless laugh.

“Alright…um do you know where Price is?” Ghost looked around for a second before leading you over to Price. Glancing you see smudged ink all over his hand. Rolling your eyes, you couldn’t tell if he didn’t mean the apology or if he needed to write it down.

“Figure your shit out Simon?”

“Yes Price..” Ghost gave Price a bit of an exaggerated look of exacerbation, his face still tinged with pink.

“Okay, well wring us up…” Gesturing at the cash register, Price glanced around. “Had a lotta traffic today?”

“A very angry Gaz and a group of vampires…”

“Like twilight?” You ask curiously.

“Not quite, duck” Simon replies in a mellow tone. “We don’t have a tiff with them at’ll, quite a good group of blokes most of the time…”

“It’s the fae you have to watch for, Linnie is an ass that’s for true..” Simon huffed as he started to wrap up your order, he paused looking at one of the blankets fondly “I like this one, was a pain to make with the embroidered bits on the corners but its beautiful, I hope this does in your nest”

You nod “It looks really pretty…I take it you make a lotta the stuff in here?”

“It’s hard to find stuff that fits occult bodies at times so I try to make it easy…” Nodding Simon gives you and Price a soft smile before he packs everything up and gives the paper bags to you and Price.

It wasn’t till you and Price got into the car to set the stuff inside did you realize that Price had paid for your stuff. “I can buy lunch..” you offer quickly “Since you paid for that stuff..”

“Duck,” Price paused. “Unless you don’t want this and we’d understand if you didn’t, you are a part of our pack and we take care of each other. Plus I just had to do that so it didn’t look like Simon was embezzling money or something…I can’t remember, it was a hundred years ago when he almost got in trouble for that..”

“Well let me take care of you and pay for your lunch?”

Thinking for a moment, Price begrudgingly nods. “Alright duckie.”

“Yay!” You smile at him happily.

Price leads you into the smaller restaurant “Do you like fish and chips?” he asks as he sits you down. “They have other stuff but it’s my favorite by far.”

“Yeah I think it’s good, I like the tarter sauce!” Smiling you add “It’s also good with lemon…I think I had them with brown gravy one time in the south and mmhmmm, orgasmic” you describe in a deadpan voice.

Price snorts “‘I’ll have to try them with gravy sometime.”

“Can I get either of you anything to drink, perhaps a round of water?” the waitress gives you an odd look but smiles kindly to Price, “I’m Linnie but you know that~ and I’ll be serving you both today~”

“Can I get a lemonade..?” Price asks

The waitress nods and gives a flirty smile to Price. “Sure thing sugar~”

“Can I get the raspberry lemonade?”

“Sure.” The waitress gives you a tight smile before leaving.

“I just want to ask how you are holdin’ up luv.” Price clasped your hands in his. “I know this is a lot, do you have any questions or any reservations? I want to make up for last night and make you as comfortable as possible with all of this..”

“Um, it is a lot…” You trap Price’s boot between your sneakers “It’s very nice to not be in pain though-”

“Do y’all know what you want to eat?” the waitress cuts in.

“We will both take the fish n’ chips.” Price hands the menus back to the waitress.

“Coming right up!”

“Please continue, duck.” Price gave you a genuine smile.

“I do like y’all, it should be alarming but it’s like everything kinda clicked into place? I love spending time with you guys and I've never felt safer…It feels quick. I mean I met y’all yesterday…”

Price nods along. “That’s how it goes with werewolves…either you click or you don't with a pack. Gaz I think would be good to talk to about this because of his experience with his second pack.”

The waitress places the fish and chips in front of you both. Price’s looked really good whereas yours were burned and over cooked. You almost frown but go to shrug it off, it looked edible still.

“Linnie” Price spoke in a flat tone “Would you mind if we could get a different plate, this one looks burned and the lemon smells rotten…”

“Oh! Oops..” Linnie grabbed the plate and went back to the kitchen, she gave you a side eye before leaving.

“Thanks” You say quietly to Price.

“No problem duckie.” Price smiled.

You both ate your food, the fish and chips were really good which pulled a smile onto your face. You sucked down your lemonade and water quickly, you felt oddly really thirsty and almost famished which made sense since you hadn’t really eaten or drank much in the past week. As you both finished up you excused yourself to the bathroom.

You felt oddly warm as you washed your hands. Looking in the mirror you notice your appearance looked a little wild, you also seemed a bit warmer than usual. Shrugging it off you go back out only to find Price had paid much to your protest.

“You really didn't need to do that..” You pout as you get out to the car “I-”

“Love, I just wanna get you back to your house.”

“Why…?”

“I think your pre-heat is starting sweetheart…”

“It is?”

“Mhhm..” Price hums, looking at you concerned. “What’s going on in your head?”

“I’m kinda scared to be honest.” You explain, watching the view out the window as Price drove. “You guys are still okay with taking care of me right?”

“I think Gaz would kill me if we don’t.” Price set one of his hands on your thigh and squeezed your thigh twice, giving you a fond look. “We also like you duck, you seem like a very good person.”

“Even though you’ve only known me for like a day?”

“Yes duck.” Price glanced over at you tilting his head slightly. “Werewolves are good judges of character for the most part and pack bonds are easily formed when people are compatible.”

“Oh.”

“You alright, love? I know this is a lot in a very short time, it was similar for me n’ Ghost. We just clicked instantly, n’ same with Gaz and Soap.”

Nodding, you see the cottage pull into view “That makes sense..”

As the car pulls to a stop Price runs out of the truck to open your door.

“Here ya’ go duck.” Price smiles at you genuinely.

You climb out of the truck and smile back at Price. All four of the men, for the most part, had been very sweet to you and it made you feel so soft and special.

“Can I kiss ya’ duck?”

You blush and smile. “You promise not to lick my face?”

“Yes duck, I won’t lick your fa-”

You cut Price off and press a chaste kiss to his lips as soon as you have confirmation he will not be licking your face. He freezes for a second and you think you’ve done something wrong up until he pulls you back into a deeper kiss.

As you two part you hear a wolf-whistle from Gaz as he stands in the doorway to the front door. “Let’s get you set up duck! I can smell you from here..”

You blush and follow Gaz inside the house feeling treasured.

[readerthatreadsss]

Sweet Fantasy | Dean Winchester

GIF by born-to-be-his-baby88

(gave myself an actual pat on the fucking back for finding this gif like y'all are gonna see how perfect it is in a second!)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem! reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Summary: Dean won't eat his vegetables...until you offer to cash in on a very recent fantasy of his, that is.

Warnings [18+ MINORS DNI]: P*rn w/ some solid plot action actually, a bit of domestic fluff sprinkled in, reader and Dean are married (don't know if that's a warning but you should know?), reader dresses up in a sexy Zorro costume with the hat and mask included, handcuffs (Dean receiving), mentions of a safeword but not used, fingering/masturbation (reader receiving), oral sex (brief Dean receiving), a whole lotta teasing (Dean receiving), p in v sex (cowgirl, missionary), unprotected sex (wrap your willy before you fuck her silly!), dirty talk, switch! Dean, switch! reader, very vocal Dean, brief choking (Dean receiving), creampie.

A/n: Hey! Sorry for disappearing for 3 months again...So classes finished almost 2 months ago and I've been wracking my brain about what to post. I tried finishing some of my drafts and it just wasn't working for me idk. Then, like any normal person, I was randomly watching some SPN bloopers this morning and it got to a scene where Dean said sometimes he wants to get spanked during sex by a girl wearing a Zorro mask and my brain ran with that shit IMMEDIATELY. Now, I'm so sorry I couldn't actually write him actually getting spanked without it sounding corny and just wrong to me? But I did write all of this in 7 hours without stopping so I'm honestly proud of it regardless.

Enjoy...

It was a Sunday evening in the bunker, meaning you were responsible for dinner. With that task came the additional task of getting Dean to eat whatever vegetables you cooked without complaining and engaging in a rant that would end with him calling himself the “meat man”.

It’s not that you were concerned about Dean's weight or appearance, after 7 years of marriage you were confident that there was nothing in the world that could make you love Dean Winchester any less. But having a steady diet of beer, beef, and pie was a surefire way to kill any man of Dean’s age faster than any monster or demon.

And God knows you’d do anything to ensure he didn’t die before his time.

Hell, you have before.

Which is why you made Dean agree to eat a side of only vegetables with whatever meat he wanted at least once a week. This week it was string beans and sautéed mushrooms, aka his least favorite vegetable.

But you didn’t have the time to make the 45-minute drive to the grocery store earlier that day so he would have to deal.

Or you wish he would deal…

“Mushrooms? Baby come on,” he complained when you placed his plate before him.

“Hey, it’s all that was left in the fridge. Eat up,” you shrugged, placing a kiss on the crown of his head.

“You know, we could always do no vegetables,” Dean offered with a wide grin.

You chuckled and used a finger to squish his stubbled cheek. “You wish, Winchester.”

He sighed in defeat and turned to pick up his fork.

You looked to make sure Sam was out of earshot before leaning down to where your lips grazed Dean’s ear. “Tell you what, if you eat those vegetables I’ll do that thing you told me about…later” you whispered.

Dean’s eyes lit up immediately, “The thing?” he harshly whispered.

You nodded with a smile.

“Costume and everything?” He made a gesture with his hands.

“Yup, I’ve been hiding the costume for weeks.”

“I’m game” Dean agreed, digging into the mushrooms first.

You turned away to share your own plate with a smile.

“I’m gonna go grocery shopping later,” Sam announced as he sat beside Dean with his plate. He met your eyes, “Anything else you forgot to put on the list?”

“Yeah stop at the liquor store and grab me a bottle of red? I ran out,” you answered sitting across from the boys with your plate.

Sam grabbed a pen and a piece of folded paper from his pocket and added it to his list, “Yeah, no problem. What brand again?”

You swallowed a piece of your chicken with a smirk. “I’m sure you already know seeing as you’re the one who emptied the bottle to the very last drop,” you addressed Sam.

His pen slipped from his grip, his green eyes widening to meet your narrowed ones.

“You drink red wine?” Dean pointed at Sam in disbelief as a laugh rumbled in his chest.

“How did you know?” He asked you, ignoring Dean’s quip.

“I saw you passed out in the library clutching the bottle the other night.”

“Listen Dean finished all the beer and it was the first thing I saw,” he defended himself.

“Oh, you’re getting more creative with your excuses. I'm impressed!” You gushed, sarcasm evident in your tone, “What was it again last week? ‘Oh Eileen wanted to taste some’ " you mimicked his gruff tone causing him to roll his eyes and Dean’s laughter to grow louder. “-when we all know that Eileen is a white wine type of gal.”

"I-" Sam tried to come up with a retort but eventually gave up. “Whatever.”

“Yeah pick up 3 bottles this time in case Eileen wants a taste,” you replied with a grin.

“Three bottles?!” He exclaimed.

“You aren’t the one paying for it, genius,” you reminded him, referring to the unlimited card Charlie hacked for you all those years ago.

“Yeah but I’m gonna have to lug it up here,” Sam mumbled as he stuck his fork into his chicken.

Dinner continued mostly in silence with Sam thinking about the two lousy trips he’d have to make between his car and the kitchen once he returns with the groceries, Dean thinking about the reward he’ll be getting for the vegetables he’s actually grown used to eating, and y/n thinking about all the ways she’s gonna make Dean squirm later.

~ ~ ~

Hours had passed since dinner and Sam was now on his way to the grocery store leaving just you and Dean in the bunker.

To say he was excited would be an understatement.

Dean first told you about this fantasy of his after a case you had months ago required you to take a trip to an adult costume shop to question the owner. It took mere seconds for the image of you in the very specific costume to cross his mind after laying eyes on the packaging.

You laughed at the idea when he told you and silently decided you would try and find the costume.

Of course, he didn’t believe you would actually indulge him but you were actually excited too. Costumes and toys weren’t new territory for you and Dean but they were few and far between with your unpredictable hunting schedules.

Dean now sat at the edge of your shared bed wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt waiting for you to return like you had promised.

But it had been almost 20 minutes since you left to get changed and his patience was wearing thin. He was seconds away from getting up and coming to see if you needed help or if you were even hurt.

Which you predicted would be the case.

So you had been standing out of sight by the doorway for less than a minute now waiting for him to try and leave.

“Damnit,” Dean eventually gave in to his worries and began to make his way to the door.

You smirked once you heard his determined steps drawing closer.

Dean’s eyes widened once you spun from your hiding spot against the wall to stand before him. “Looking for me?”

You watched his throat bob and his pupils dilate as he took in your full look.

Atop your head and face rested a sexy black Zorro mask and matching hat. You were also wearing a black sleeveless leather top that stopped in your midriff region and had strings tied between your breasts that allowed a whole lot of cleavage to be on display. The leather skirt that accompanied was low-waisted and stopped at your upper thigh, matching the black thong you were wearing beneath.

You had stretched the thin straps of the thong along your hips above the skirt for added flair.

In your right hand, you held a fake silver sword similar to the one Zorro held in the movies, and hanging from the left side of your skirt were two handcuffs ready and waiting to be used.

You were sex on knee-length boot-covered legs.

Dean felt himself growing hard already.

You bit your bottom lip at the way your husband’s eyes roamed your body, hoping the dark red lipstick covering it was as transfer and waterproof as the box advertised.

“You look...stunning,” Dean marveled. The model on the packaging of the costume didn’t come close to how it looked on your body.

Your heart swelled at the compliment before remembering the persona you had practiced for the night ahead. “Oh I know,” you took a step closer and leaned against the doorway. You pointed the sword in Dean’s direction. “Why are you still dressed, Dean?” you asked with furrowed brows and a smile.

A chuckle almost left your lips at the sight of Dean fumbling with his pant strings and tripping over his own legs to send the pajama bottoms flying over to a random corner while throwing off his t-shirt with record speed.

He stood before you in only his boxers, his enjoyment of your costume evident by the bulge in the center.

“Get on the bed.” You told him, your tone not excessively commanding but sexy enough to make him obey immediately.

“Yes ma’am,” he smirked, quickly sitting and sliding up to the headboard of the bed.

You walked further into the room and placed your sword down before climbing onto the bed and slowly crawling to where Dean sat. His green eyes followed your every move as you moved to straddle him, but not fully.

You then grabbed the two pairs of handcuffs attached to your hips and twirled them around your fingers. “How you feeling Dean?” you checked in, your hips hovering above his thighs, making sure to not touch his erection just yet.

“Oh, I feel great. Real great. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this great,” he nodded eagerly as you cuffed each of his hands to each bedpost, getting a face full of your boobs in the process.

"You sound nervous," you teased him, "Am I making you nervous baby?"

"Me? Nervous? Pfft!"

You scoffed, not believing him one bit. "What's our safe word?" you asked him gently.

Dean leaned forward as much as his restraints would allow to press a sweet kiss against your stomach. " 'Oklahoma', baby," he grinned.

You then let your clothed ass sink down on his covered erection. Dean groaned and tried to reach for your hips instinctively only to meet the restriction of the handcuffs. “I hope they aren’t too tight 'cause they’re gonna be on there for a while,” you nearly bust out laughing at the look Dean gave you.

“A while?” he repeated, dreading not being able to touch you at a time like this.

You shrugged, “If you behave I might change my mind.”

Before he could argue further, you leaned forward and connected your lips in a searing kiss. His breath was hot against your face as your lips drifted to his neck while your hands found themselves in his hair.

A breathy groan slipped past his lips when you nipped a specific spot beneath his ear lobe. “You’re so loud. Maybe I should’ve bought a muzzle,” you whispered in his ear teasingly, feeling his dick jump beneath you at your words. “I'll remember that next time,” you replied to his body's response.

“Baby, do you have any idea how amazing you look? ” Dean gushed, struggling against his restraints as you began to grind your hips against his covered cock.

You smiled and met his lips in a kiss once again. He slipped his tongue between your welcoming lips, allowing his taste to flood your mouth. You pulled away seconds later, nipping his bottom lip, and removed yourself from his lap.

He watched nervously, awaiting your next move while you scooted farther away from him along the bed. You slowly slipped off your boots, your confidence unwavering as you held Dean’s hungry stare.

He watched you use a hand to hold yourself upright before spreading your legs open to reveal the lace thong covering your already-drenched pussy. “Are you about to..." he trailed off, jaw clenched as he spoke.

"Hmm mhm. And there is not a damn thing you can do about it...except watch," you slowly removed your thong and threw it at Dean’s lap. He immediately became hyperaware of the feeling of the wet lace draped over his dick.

You slowly brought two fingers up to your lips and sucked them even slower to coat them in your saliva and give Dean a show before bringing them down to where you needed them the most. You began slow ministrations against your aching clit, pulling moans from yourself that made Dean impossibly harder.

He took a deep breath at the sight, imagining his own fingers parting your folds and rubbing at your swollen clit.

“You are a menace,” Dean laughed in obvious distress, licking his dried lips. He couldn’t handle watching you touch yourself without being able to touch you any longer so he looked away, swallowing harshly at the sound of your wetness against your fingers.

“Look at me Dean,” you mewled, continuing to rub your pussy in small quick circles. He turned reluctantly, watching as you slowly pushed two fingers inside your dripping hole. “See this, baby? It’s all for you,” you said, melting into a moan when your fingers grazed a spot inside you that drew your orgasm closer.

“I gotta taste you, baby,” Dean pleaded, “Open these and let me taste you, please,” he rattled the handcuffs against the bedposts.

The pure agony in his voice had your fingers and breathing speeding up and soon your climax was approaching. Dean’s breathing picked up in response. “Fuck, Dean I’m gonna cum,” you moaned, pressing a thumb to your clit while your fingers kept working inside of you to bring you to the edge.

A thin layer of sweat appeared on Dean’s forehead as he watched you keenly. He bit his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, his self-control draining by the second.

Your eyes remained open and locked onto his, your moans growing louder and borderline pornographic. You were putting on a show and he was losing his mind.

“I’m cumming, fuck-“ you panted as your first orgasm of the night slammed into you and caused you to make a small mess on the sheets beneath you. Your body shook sporadically with aftershocks of your own work

Dean’s head hung low. “Jesus baby,” he huffed, his own voice strangled, “you’re trying to give me a heart attack aren’t you?”

You smiled as you crawled back up to sit on Dean’s lap, taking your thong and throwing them somewhere unseen. “Ehh maybe,” you replied coyly, straightening your hat and mask. “And since you behaved so well,” you reached a hand down to touch his clothed cock, “I think you deserve a reward,” you pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

Dean allowed you to pull his boxers off his body, watching you wrap a hand around his painfully erect cock. “Fuck,” he groaned at the feeling of your hand wrapped around him.

You slid down to where you could lay flat on your stomach between his legs and leaned down to briefly swirl your tongue around where precum was gathered at the tip.

“Take the hat off and look at me pretty girl,” Dean said.

You complied, throwing the hat off to the edge of the bed before diving down and licking his tip once again, but this time keeping your eyes locked onto his.

“Holy shit,” Dean groaned, his hips twitching upwards. You then opened your mouth and wrapped it around his length, slowly sliding down until your nose was nuzzled at the base, staying there for a few seconds before coming back up for air. “Hell yes, baby that's perfect,” he panted as you began sucking faster along his length, a few lone tears flowing from beneath the mask from the familiar stretch of his cock in your throat.

Your head continued to bob up and down Dean’s length for some time, drawing shallow moans of your name and grunts from him before you finally let up and pressed one last kiss against the side of his cock.

Dean’s chest heaved as you licked your lips and used a hand to wipe your face clean. “Goddamnit," he whined at your sudden stop, feeling his impending orgasm return to its hiding place.

You grabbed your previously discarded Zorro hat and placed it back on your head before hiking your skirt up to allow you more room to move your legs around Dean’s lap. “Can’t have you cumming before I’m done with you sweetheart,” you replied while untying the strings of your top and removing it.

The keys to the handcuffs dropped onto Dean’s lap from where you previously hid them in your top. You had honestly forgotten you put them there but it just presented yet another opportunity to get Dean all whiny and desperate, which was a rarity that you rather enjoyed.

“Oops would you look at that,” you exclaimed playfully, taking them up and dangling them in front of Dean’s eyes.

"Alright baby you broke me. Come on, just let me go, and trust me, I will make it worth your while,” Dean bargained with you.

"As enticing as that sounds," you paused and brought your hand up to caress Dean’s cheek before pulling him in for a sloppy kiss. You pulled away with a grin. “I love hearing you beg, so no,” you whispered against his lips.

Dean loudly groaned watching you gently place the keys down on the closest nightstand. “Shit,” he shut his eyes.

But they shortly shot open once you used a hand to grip his length and bring it between your dripping folds.

A pleased hum left your lips once the tip glazed your clit causing Dean to swallow harshly. “Aren’t you sick of teasing me,” he hissed.

Fuck no.

You used a free hand to grip the back of his hair. “Take a deep breath for me, Dean,” you told him, feeling his chest rise against yours soon after. And as it fell, you slipped his cock inside your entrance.

You slowly sank down onto his length until it was fully buried inside you, groaning at the welcomed stretch.

“I love those sounds you make for me,” Dean whispered against your lips.

“Oh you’re gonna be making some of those sounds too,” you smirked, clenching around him causing a sharp grunt to reach your ears.

You guided your hips up and down Dean’s length, riding him at a quickening pace. He jerked his hips upward to match your cadence drawing a gasp from your lips when his cock hit that spot inside you that had you seeing stars. “There you go baby,” Dean groaned, “you look so fucking good riding my cock.”

The hat and mask from your costume managed to stay in place as you slammed down on Dean’s cock repeatedly. And it was an image that he would never forget.

Your hand released Dean’s hair and instead found itself wrapped around Dean’s neck as you rode him faster. A whine that shot straight to your cunt escaped his lips when your fingers slightly tightened their grip around his throat.

You suddenly slowed down and instead began to grind your hips against his, moaning loudly when your clit grazed his pelvis. “I’m gonna cum again shit!” You threw your head back in obscene pleasure, releasing Dean's throat and holding onto his shoulders to steady yourself.

“Fuck yes. Use my cock to get off, sweetheart,” Dean urged you on before leaning forward to suck one of your nipples as best as he could.

This soon pushed you over the edge, your climax tearing a scream from within you as your hips faltered around Dean’s cock, your hat flying off your head once more. Dean relished in the way your cunt pulsed around him from your orgasm as well as the look of sheer pleasure that crossed your face at that moment. “You’re so beautiful,” he smiled up at you, meaning every word.

You kissed his forehead with a smile and reached for the handcuff keys. “I think I’ve tortured you enough,” you freed his right hand first, pressing a kiss against his wrist, then did the same to his left, “This is supposed to be a reward after all.”

Dean’s lips curved into a smirk at his newfound freedom. “Yes it is, sweetheart.”

A surprised yelp left your lips when Dean gripped your hips and flipped you onto your back. He grabbed your hat and placed it on his own head before sending you a wink. “And I’m not feeling rewarded just yet.”

You nearly came just from the sight of Dean hovering above you in only that hat. “We’re gonna have to talk about my sexy cowboy fantasy when we’re done here,” you raised a brow.

A low chuckle echoed from Dean’s chest. He reached up and tipped his hat in your direction, “yes ma’am.” He replied with a deep southern drawl.

Your pussy clenched instantly.

“That was hot as fuck,” you breathed.

“Thank you darlin’ “ he replied in the same accent with a wink.

You giggled before pulling him down for a kiss. He pulled away and touched the mask still wrapped around your eyes. “And thank you for doing this for me, baby,” he smiled down at you, “It was so so much better than I imagined.”

“It was definitely my pleasure,” you nodded happily, feeling his hands glide down your sides.

“Was?” He protested playfully. “The night is still young, sweetheart!” He threw your legs over his shoulder causing you to exclaim at the sudden move. He placed a kiss on each of your thighs and lined himself up with your entrance before entering you once again.

“FUCK” you cried out at the sudden intrusion, feeling your eyes well up with tears of pleasure in record time.

Dean pulled out and slammed into you once again, his grip on your legs tightening as he eased into a quick pace.

“YES-Dean holy shit,” you moaned, eyes quickly rolling to the back of your head and back arching up and off the bed as he fucked you with reckless abandon.

“How’s it feeling baby?” Dean said, bringing a hand down to play with your clit.

“So good, Dean, so fucking good,” you rambled, your skin buzzing with pleasure, “Harder, please, I'm almost there,” you found yourself begging.

“You gonna cum for me already pretty girl?” He sped up his slaughter on your cunt, "Maybe I should make you beg for it?" his voice was low and demeaning but only spurred you on more.

You shook your head adamantly while your hands fumbled around Dean's waist for a solid grip. So he simply released your legs and grabbed your hands before holding them down above your head, driving his cock into you even harder at this new angle.

“Dean!" you broke off into a strangled moan.

Dean’s lips attacked your open neck. “I wish we had neighbors so they could hear you screaming my fucking name,” he all but growled as the sounds of your moans and skin against skin plagued the air.

You came with a yell seconds later, your release coating Dean’s cock and the sheets. “That’s my girl. There you go baby,” he released your hands and held your face, guiding you down from your high.

Your hands gripped Dean’s hair harshly as you kissed his lips and his hips stuttered, his cum coating your insides soon after. You swallowed his grunts as his cock continued to leak and twitch inside you.

Broken pants befell both your lips in between sloppy kisses while your orgasms passed and your shared spend flowed between your legs. You eventually released his lips for air, “That was-“

“-Incredible,” he mirrored your thoughts, removing your hat from his head. Dean used a hand to remove your mask and brush a few strands of hair behind your ears once he moved to lie down beside you.

“Hi,” you grinned in awe of the man you called your husband. “Hey sweetness,” he grinned back, adoration evident in his deep green eyes.

Your cheeks flushed as he pressed a kiss against your forehead. He quickly grabbed his previously discarded t-shirt and used it to clean up the mess between your legs before throwing it in the laundry basket nearby.

You snuggled into his side once he returned to the bed.

“So uhh what was it you were saying about your cowboy kink?” Dean smugly asked after a few seconds.

“Goddamnit Dean,” you shamefully groaned into his side, gaining a chuckle from him.

ANDDD SCENE!

Hope it wasn't too bad seeing as I gave up on editing it like 75% through it.

Tbh I highly doubt more than 20 people are gonna see this because I have no idea how strong the Supernatural fandom's presence is on here, which also means that I don't know if anyone has used a plot like this one before so don't be afraid to let me know if that is the case and I will make changes as I see fit!

(Also let me know if you want a sequel one shot with sexycowboy! Dean and reader. Or feel free to make any other requests)

Reblogs, likes, and comments are ALWAYS appreciated :)

divider creds : @cafekitsune

[notiddygxthgf]

10. don't look back

★ pairings: plug!wakasa imaushi x f!reader

★ synopsis: the one where you have the hots for your dealer, and Wakasa is always eager to please a customer. (don't let your bf stop you from finding ur hubby)

★ content warning: smut, angst, lotta porn w a lotta plot, car sex, dealer wakasa, cheating, oral sex, sneaky link, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, sex while high, consensual drug use, mentions of abuse, unprotected sex, so much more...

★ a/n: so so so sorry for leaving yall on a cliffhanger like that ughhh!! momma loves u all. anyway not much to say about this one, so enjoy! hope yall brought tissues <3

★ w.c.; 7.1k

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CONFUSION DISTORTED YOUR FACE. Your heart skipped another beat, and then another. The warmth of the room seemed to dissipate, leaving a chilling silence in its wake.  The symphony of anticipation within your chest faltered, eyes widening as they scanned the messages on the screen – your phone.  

Shit, you thought. Shit, Shit, Shit… you had been foolish enough to leave your phone behind in a drunken haze. 

“What? What the hell are you talking about?” You murmured softly, your voice betraying your confusion. 

“You’re full of shit,” he chuckled humorlessly. His eyes met yours and they were dark, emotionless. “Waka? Of all fucking people, too?”

His voice sent shivers up your spine. It didn’t make any sense; you had done everything right… so, why now? Your eyes fell to the cigar in his hand, white at the tip from the ash. You swallowed the lump in your throat and said, “Babe, I don’t even know–”

“Don’t call me that,” He retorted rather bluntly. “Don’t play dumb with me, girl.”

“I’m not playing dumb,” You answered. 

“We both saw those fucking messages,” He spat, taking another hit of his cigar before he tapped it into the ashtray. “Least you could do is tell the truth.”

“It’s out of context,” you hissed, in some feeble attempt at getting him to believe you. “It’s not what it looks like, I–”

“WHAT IS IT, THEN?” Takeomi slammed his fist on the table. You jumped at the sound, face burning a bit with the heat of your embarrassment. You wanted to say something, but it appeared as if all coherent thought had successfully left your body. Your mouth was glued shut.

Takeomi shook his head with a sigh, rising from the loveseat in a manner that had you backing away from him. You knew what he was capable of doing to you. Given that the two of you were alone right now, you prepared for the worst. Takeomi had you cornered.

“Cat got your tongue? Shame,” he tutted. Towering over your trembling body, he pulled a hit from his cigar, blowing the bitter smoke out against your face. His eyes were dull, glazed with liquor and anger. Still, you knew it meant nothing good. “Bet you were real loud for him, weren’t ‘ya?”

You froze, paralyzed, like prey being hunted by a predator. Your heart hammered against your ribcage like it wanted to break free. “Takeomi, I…” you swallowed, reaching toward him with a trembling hand. “I know this seems cliche, but I promise, I can explain–”

In the blink of an eye, Takeomi had braced a hand on your chest, shoving you backward into the coffee table. The force of the push sent you flying into it, glass tabletop shattering as ceramic vases tumbled onto the floor. You gasped, clutching your back.

Takeomi flicked his cigar onto the carpet, stomping it out with his shoe. “Listen,” he began, “I’m only g’nna ask you one time, babe. You’ll answer honestly if you know what’s good for you.” 

The leather of his shoes crackled as he squatted down to your level. The world was beginning to spin, but the image of his stoic expression glaring down at you was one you would remember forever. He reeked of booze and nicotine, brows drawn low over his stormy grey eyes, black hair falling into his red-tinted face. “Did you cheat on me with my fucking coworker?”

You raised your head in an effort to look at him. Eyes rolling back, you stared up at the ceiling instead. Your mouth felt very dry all of a sudden.

“Say it,” He spat, voice cracking slightly beneath the pressure of his emotions. He was closer to you now than before, face hovering only a foot or two above yours. His eyes were a boiling cesspool of anger and hate. “He’s already on his way here. One of you’s gonna ‘fess up.”

Wakasa was coming. The thought of him being there brought a sense of relief over you, one that was quickly replaced by the realization that he would be walking right into a trap.

He’s already on his way here.

“Take…” you muttered weakly. A groan left your lips the moment you attempted to look him in the eyes. “Please.”

“Tch,” he sucked his teeth. Rather than helping you up or apologizing for shoving you, he dusted his hands off onto his briefs, standing up and then turning away from you. The light caught the arch of his nose as he turned toward the knock that sounded at the front door. 

“Just in time,” he remarked. You tried to crawl to your feet, keep him away from that door, but you felt too weak to move. Takeomi stepped right over you, anyway. It didn’t take him long to open it.

“ Sorry I’m late.” 

If you had ears like a dog, they would have perked up at the sound of his voice, his song. That low, casual croon that made your heart warm even though you knew it wasn’t right. Your gaze remained on the ceiling, world blurring a bit around the corners. I must have hit my head pretty hard,you thought, rubbing your temples in vain as if that would help ease the slow throb.

“Come in, please,” Your boyfriend replied, allowing Waka to enter his space with such faux generosity that you felt yourself turn toward the sound of his voice in an effort to watch the interaction.

Wakasa was upside down from where you were laying, clad in a black leather jacket and some blue jeans. He scanned the interior of his coworker’s apartment, lavender hues flitting over the living room. He paled visibly when he saw you laying there.

Takeomi shut the door behind the two of them, allowing Waka to process everything that had unfolded before his eyes in such a short period of time. When a minute or so had passed, he clapped a hand over Waka’s shoulder. 

“Waka, you’ve met my girlfriend, right?” Takeomi mused. 

Wakasa’s mask seemed to slip – if only for a brief moment. Still, as always, he managed to play it cool. “Yeah,” he muttered, licking his lips. “Am I interrupting somethin’?”

You gazed back at him, hoping your eyes relayed the message. Run. Run before it’s too late.

“I got a call from her neighbor, says she had a bike parked in front of her house this morning,” Takeomi continued anyway. He stepped around Waka, folding his arms behind his back. “I don’t have a bike.”

Wakasa furrowed his brows, tilting his head. He amazed you, still, with his innate ability to keep that poker face in even the most perilous of situations. “Okay…” he trailed off. The confusion seemed genuine. He had you fooled for a moment. “Where are you going with this?”

The grin on your boyfriend’s face was anything but welcoming. He shook his head and then looked at Waka like he had every intention to kill him. “You fucking my bitch, man?”

You felt your heart plummet. This was it, you thought. Waka was going to fess up to it. This little illusion the two of you had was about to come crashing down. The glass beneath your wounded arm shifted as you tried to get to your feet.

To your surprise, Wakasa didn’t even flinch at his words, instead drawing up a brow and sparing a brief glance your way. He looked at Takeomi as if to say, Really?

You had to admit, the act was convincing.

Poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue, Takeomi nodded. “Figured you’d try ‘n lie your way out of this,” he muttered. His words were a bit slurred together, stumbling drunkenly for a moment as he reached into the interior pocket of his coat. The object he produced was shiny and silver, glinting beneath the lamplight as he turned it toward his coworker.

With wide eyes, you gasped, clawing at the floor. 

“You bet’ta fess up, Imaushi, ‘M not fuckin’ playing,” He slurred. The veins in his hand popped, fingers tensed around the grip of his gun.

“Take,” Wakasa sighed, still remarkably calm considering he had a gun aimed at his head. You knew it was all an act, of course, but you had to give credit where it was due. Even if the timing wasn’t necessarily appropriate. “You’re drunk. Put the gun down.”

“How long has this been goin’ on behind – hic – my back?” Takeomi pressed further.

“I’m not fuckin ‘yer girl, man,” Wakasa shook his head. “The hell are you on about?”

Takeomi held a finger up to the shorter man, shoving his hand back into his pocket and rummaging around until he found your phone. He fiddled around with it for a bit and then turned the screen over.

The room went quiet in an instant, tension pending in the air as Wakasa squinted at the tiny screen. You found yourself doing the same. Bracing your hands on the glass-speckled floor, you stumbled to your feet.

“Say hi to the camera, baby.”

With a gasp, you covered your mouth. The tips of your ears turned red. Shit. He found the video.

“Taking it so well…”

“Waka–!”

“We– hic– well?” Takeomi grumbled. If he didn’t have a gun pointed at Wakasa, you probably would have laughed at the way he stumbled forward. “That’s not you?”

Wakasa quirked a brow, leaning in to get a closer look. The corner of his lip twitched as he licked it. His eyes darted between the phone in Takeomi’s hand – the screen where you knew your vulva was spread open on display for a live studio audience – and the gun. 

The sound of your own voice nearly brought you to hysterics. You were mortified.

Finally, he sighed. “I mean, shit, man,” he offered after a lengthy pause. “That’s some pretty solid evidence there, I don’t know what you want me to say.”

Takeomi’s eyes locked with yours in a dance of torment and love mingled with betrayal, hatred clashing with the shattered fragments of trust. The tears that had begun pooling in your eyes earlier streamed down your tender cheeks as you pleaded with him silently. 

He turned the barrel of the gun towards you, and for a moment – a brief, fleeting moment – you saw Wakasa’s mask break, eyes widening as he watched it happen. 

“Six years,” Takeomi reiterated, stepping away from Wakasa and inching closer to you. 

Your efforts to back away from him were ultimately in vain, you realized the moment you felt your back collide with the wall. Takeomi had you cornered – again – as he waved the gun in your direction. 

“Take, please…” You pleaded with him, face stained with tear marks. Your voice trembled beneath the weight of his unspoken threat. “I–”

“SIX FUCKING YEARS,” He shouted, the force of his voice causing you to jump. The anger seemed to be gnawing at him on the inside, anguish and hatred waging war within him, a tempest of conflicting emotions threatening to put an end to this once and for all. He appeared to stand before you on the precipice of a decision, torn between the love that had once bound the two of you and the searing pain of betrayal. His voice broke, “Was it not enough for you?”

You hadn’t realized he had backed you up against the wall until you felt the chill from the metal barrel press against your neck. His other arm kept you pinned in place. 

His eyes were wild, watering a bit as he looked at you for a moment. He cocked his gun, though the quiet click seemed to be amplified tenfold. His hair fell into his face. “I want answers,” he whispered.

“Take, put the fucking gun down!” Wakasa shouted somewhere behind him. He seemed closer than he was before, like he had inched closer to your manic boyfriend, although you weren’t about to crane your neck around to find out.

Takeomi’s bloodshot eyes flickered with a mix of confusion and rage, a fire surging with him that was fueled by the alcohol coursing through his veins.

Then his finger tightened around the trigger.

Wakasa lunged forward, tatted arm appearing in your field of vision as he reached to grab Takeomi’s wrist. 

Your breath caught in your throat as the scene unfolded before you. You held your breath. The seconds seemed to tick away, each one passing slowly as Waka bravely reached for the gun. You held your breath.

With a sudden surge of determination, like your tears had spurred him on, Waka managed to pry the gun from Takeomi’s trembling hand. The weapon clattered as it hit the ground. 

In the deafening silence that followed, Wakasa tucked a blond stray behind his ear, sending the gun sliding away from the scene with a small kick. 

Before the relief had even settled in, Takeomi turned on his heel and lunged at Wakasa with a wild swing. His alcohol-addled coordination betrayed him, however, as he tripped over his own feet – missing by an inch or two as he fell over the backside of the couch.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you watched him tumble over the edge.

Wakasa’s head turned quickly as he called out to you. “I’m parked outside,” he hissed. “Go, now.”

He pulled a wireless key fob out of his pocket – you could see the silver detailing of the BMW logo glint beneath the dim living room lighting as he tossed it to you. 

“Wait, Waka–” You breathed, voice a hushed whisper. Still, you caught it.

“Get in the fucking car, NOW,” He commanded you. One look into his wide eyes reminded you that he wasn’t asking.

At that moment, your heart seemed to stop beating altogether. The room seemed to shrink around you. Without a second thought, you pushed yourself off of the wall and made a beeline for the door. The adrenaline surged through your veins, pushing you past your limit, pushing you towards freedom while your legs threatened to give.

You could still hear Wakasa’s voice echoing in the back of your mind, urging you to run while you had a chance. The urgency in his tone fueled you further and further, drowning out the chaos behind you. It wasn’t until you reached the door that you paused to glance back over your shoulder.

“You leave now and we’re fucking done,” Takeomi warned you. He had braced himself on his elbows.

Wakasa was stepping over the sideways couch, hair down over his back and covering his face with a hair tie stretched open on his fingers. He scooped a few handfuls of hair up behind his head. His wrists twisted with expert precision as he tied it back. His neck cracked with a quick crane of his head to the right.

Sensing what was about to go down, you turned away, throwing the door open and making your escape. You let the door shut behind you, stepping out into the cool night air. Your chest heaved for a moment.

You pressed your ear against the door, tears streaming down your cheeks as your emotions enveloped you. You felt horrible leaving Waka to fend for himself, but you would have felt worse if you went against his word.

So, pulling your clothes tight against your trembling body, you ducked and entered the street. The midnight sky blanketed Waka’s black Mercedes. It looked like it had recently been polished. 

You unlocked the door and plopped into the passenger seat. The moment you shut the door, the tears came pouring out. Your hand continued to grip the handle of the door with white-knuckled intensity. The air inside of the car felt all but suffocating, as if the weight of your actions hung from each and every molecule around you. Panic gripped you, tightening its hold with each rapid beat of your frightened heart.

Teary eyes blurred your vision. Your lover’s words echoed – again, for the millionth time – in your mind. 

“Get in the fucking car, NOW.”

He’d sounded so angered, so tired of you. How had everything unraveled so quickly?

The sound of your own uneven breathing was the only thing keeping you company in the car, ragged breaths fogging up the window to your right. Tossing the key fob into the cupholder, you turned towards that foggy window, pressing your hot cheek against its cold surface. The chill was refreshing, even if a part of you felt bad for leaving prints on Waka’s freshly cleaned windows.

You didn’t care. Your mind was alight with possibilities – with fear and uncertainty. Where would you go? What would happen to you now that the cat was out of the bag? 

Clutching at your throat, you ached for air, desperate for a moment of clarity. But the walls of Waka’s Benz seemed to close in on you. Images of the fight flashed through your mind. The reality of your actions crashed upon the desolate shores of your rotten mind like a tidal wave, overwhelming your senses and drowning you in a sea of guilt. You couldn’t escape the consequences of your betrayal, the pain that had been etched on Takeomi’s face forever imprinted in your mind.

You felt terrible.

A sob wrenched itself from the depths of your soul. Then another. 

The world was hazy, disorienting, as if reality had been warped by the weight of your guilt. For a few minutes, you sat there, mind spinning a mile a minute. You wrapped your arms around yourself, seeking temporary solace in the touch of your own skin. 

When the driver’s side door suddenly popped open, you jumped in your seat. You made quick work of your salty tears, wiping them away from your face while you tried to make yourself look somewhat presentable.

Waka dropped into the driver's seat with an exasperated sigh. Though your eyes trained themselves on the dashboard, you could see him reach for the steering wheel out of the corner of your eye. He looked a little messy. His clothes were disheveled, his hair was in a similar state. His knuckles were dusted with a faint red hue.

After a brief pause that seemed to span for an eternity, he offered, “Buckle in.”

You did exactly that.

The car revved to life. The buttons on the dash lit up in unison. Waka gripped the steering wheel, throwing his other arm over the back of your seat and glancing behind him before turning back to the road. He pulled out of the parking spot without another word.

And then he took off.

★

The ride to your house was as silent as it was tense. It wasn’t very long, seeing as you only lived ten minutes away. That ten was more like five today, though you weren’t sure if it was because a part of you wanted to stay in this car with Waka just a little while longer or because Waka had been doing double the speed limit the whole way over.

The car rolled to a stop in front of your place, and that dreadful, gnawing feeling in your gut had returned, bringing the tension in the car back with it. You folded your hands neatly in your lap, awaiting Waka’s next words.

You were expecting him to shout at you, to lash out at you like an angry father. Like your father, like your boyfriend (ex boyfriend?).

You hadn’t been expecting him to turn the car off, and you most certainly hadn’t expected him to cast a sorrowful glance your way, brows drawn low over his pretty eyes. 

“Sorry I yelled at ‘ya,” he sighed.  What surprised you even more was the way he reached out to graze a gentle hand over your cheek, tucking your hair behind your ear. He added, “Take’s fuckin’ crazy. I didn’t want him hurtin’ you.”

It was becoming a bit of a chore to continue breathing normally when he was so close to you. You needed to leave now before you dug yourself a deeper hole, you decided, reaching for the door.

Waka beat you to it. In the blink of an eye, he’d reached over your lap and pulled the door shut. He kept you pinned to the seat with his arm. 

“Fuck you,” you seethed. You were frustrated, you were confused – before you knew it, you began to cry. 

“I just wanna talk,” He reaffirmed. His words did nothing to calm your nerves.

Your hands trembled as you struggled to find the words to convey how you felt. The car seemed a lot smaller than it had been only moments prior. You took a deep breath, voice quivering beneath the weight of her accusation.

“You ruined everything,” You sobbed, voice barely a notch above a whisper, eyes now locked with Waka’s in a heated standoff. The pain etched on your features made your jaw tighten.

None of this would have happened if you'd never met him. 

Waka’s expression was unreadable, a tick in his jaw was the only indicator that your words had hit the mark. “Yeah, it’s all my fault, ‘course it is,” he retorted, voice tinged with an uncharacteristically bitter tone. “Not like you willingly invited me into your room or anythin’.”

Your eyes narrowed, gaze challenging his stance even though you knew he was right. “You gave me your number first… you knew I had a boyfriend, you dick.”

Waka’s expression changed slightly, allowing you a glimpse into what you imagined was a pretty deep pool of anger. “You texted me, doll.”

He was right. Again. The realization made you break a bit inside.

Your voice quivered with unspoken emotion as you let the tears fall freely. “You’re such an ass, you know that? Why’d you have to come around and fuck me over?”

“Oh, don’t even,” he snapped back. “I risked it all for you. I did everything I could, and ‘yer gonna sit here and blame me?”

The silence that followed was heavy, settling between the both of you like a brick wall as the both of you exchanged angry gazes. The tension in the car built up.

“I never wanted it to come to this,” You spoke louder this time, heartbroken and vulnerable. “You took everything from me.”

“Don’t pretend this wasn’t a mutual decision,” He shook his head at you, chuckling humorlessly. “You are every bit as guilty ‘s I am and you know it.”

You froze. He continued.

“Deep down you know you wanted me to keep coming ‘round,” he added rather cockily. He cocked his head to the right, beckoning you to try and prove him wrong. “You loved it, didn’t ‘ya?”

Another brief pause had passed, and your anger had reached its boiling point. Without thinking, you raised your hand, bringing it towards the side of his face like you wanted to hit him. But Waka – quick on his feet, as always – reflexively caught your hand mid-swing, preventing the slap from landing.

Time seemed to freeze altogether.

Your eyes widened, hand suspended in the air a mere inch or two away from Waka’s face. His grip on your hand was firm, strong, a harsh reminder of a fact you had apparently forgotten; You didn’t stand a chance against him.

The two of you fell into an uneasy silence as you locked eyes, the intensity of the moment palpable.

Waka’s voice was steady, his grip unyielding. He looked – for a moment – as if he wanted to say something to you, remind you of who you were talking to. Before long, however, his anger softened, as did his gaze.

“I’m not sorry for what I did,” he mused. His eyes never flitted away from yours, even for a moment, even as he pulled you closer to him. “Even if I could go back ‘n change the past, I would still pick you. Every time.”

His breath was soft, mint-scented, and fresh. You felt your resolve crack. You wanted to scream at him, to throw your arms around his neck and kiss him until your lungs gave out. You hated the way he made you feel.

The car was filled with a heavy silence as your tears streamed down your reddened cheeks. Your heart squeezing painfully, you reached out, hand weakly forming a fist, and feebly punched Wakasa’s chest.

“I hate you,” You whispered, knowing you didn’t mean a word of it.

Waka’s eyes filled with sorrow as he caught your fist, gently holding it against his chest. You could feel his heart beating in synchrony with yours. A moment passed, agonizingly slow, and he pulled you into a tight embrace, a bittersweet collision of love and resentment.

Then, to your surprise, he did the unthinkable.

“Let’s stop seeing each other,” his honey-sweet croon pierced through the silence, his tone resolute.

Your eyes widened in disbelief. Shoving yourself away from him, you shot him an incredulous look. The road ahead seemed to blur as you tried to wrap your head around his proposition. 

“What…?” You had asked in vain. 

The confined space of the car seemed to amplify the tension. The world outside seemed to stop spinning for a moment. This was the same car where he’d first swept you off your feet so many nights ago. Now, like some sort of cruel joke, the image before you paralleled the memory. His unexpected words hung heavy in the air.

He wasn’t looking at you anymore. In fact, he looked a little down about it, like he was having doubts of his own about the decision. 

“I never should’da gotten you involved in all of this mess… I can fend for myself with him but… I know you can’t,” He said remorsefully. He seemed… genuine. When his eyes met yours, it was as if you had fallen for him a second time. “It’s too dangerous. We need to stop seein’ each other.”

In the span of a minute, Wakasa had managed to tear your heart right out of your chest.

“No…” You did a complete 180. You were so weak for him that you hated it. But, shit, how you loved the feeling. “I can’t lose you too, Waka, I…”

“I’m not asking,” He deadpanned. You felt your heart plummet.

“You’ve gone cold on me,” You whimpered. You didn’t care if you sounded desperate. You knew your blood burned for him. “Waka, that’s not fair… please.”

“I need to protect you,” Waka’s eyes were filled with bittersweet longing – like this was breaking him, like he wanted to reach out and caress you but he knew he couldn’t… just as much as you did. “I have to do this. ‘S for your own good.”

Your mind raced to make sense of the cryptic words that had spilled from his pretty lips. “‘Kasa,” you breathed.

When he spoke again, his mask cracked a little more. “You know as much ‘s I do that he’s gonna go on a manhunt. I dun’no what I’d do if somethin’ happened to you ‘cause of me, doll, I…” His voice trembled a bit. He took a moment to regain his composure. “Me leaving would be the best thing for you. For both of us.”

Tears welled up in your eyes. God, this hurt. You knew it would come eventually, but, shit, you hadn’t expected it to hurt so bad. Your voice cracked, “You’re ending things to protect me? Without giving me a choice? What happened to “if Takeomi weren’t in the picture” ?”

Wakasa squeezed his eyes shut. His hands tightened into fists. “We’re done. We can’t do this again.”

“I’m telling you we can’t see each other again. Okay?”

For a moment, Wakasa looked like he wanted to say something, like he wanted to make you stay. Worst of all, you kind of wanted him to.

Eventually, he answered, “You can pretend it never happened, but I’ll know. You’ll know.”

Your heart squeezed painfully at the memory. It’s funny how history repeats itself.

“I can’t lose what we have,” You shook your head. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me, I… I don’t know what I’d do without you. We can make this work, I know we can.”

You continued after a lengthy inhale. “I can’t let this go over fear… no, not unless I know you’re doing it because you don’t want this.”

Deep down, you knew you were fighting a losing battle. Your heart ached for him. You couldn’t let this go. Not after you had given up so much just to be with him, no, not yet. Just a moment longer.

You reached out for him, hand hesitantly searching for his, seeking solace in the midst of the turmoil even though you knew you had already lost. 

You needed him. You realized that the moment the thought of a life without him had even crossed your mind. You knew it from the moment the two of you had sworn off intimacy in that shower together. No, you knew it from the first moment your eyes had met his. Wakasa had wedged his way deep into the tissue of your rotten heart.

You were in love with him.

“We can leave it behind. Start fresh,” You pleaded with him, gripping his cold hand. “Don’t you want that?”

He stayed quiet. He wanted it as much as you did, you knew that. He ached for you too. But when you squeezed his hand and it remained limp in your palm – without so much as a squeeze back – you knew it was too late. Like the life drained from the veins of a corpse, Waka had gone cold. 

Lowering your head toward his hand, you sobbed. You had never stopped crying, not since he had proposed that the two of you stop seeing each other. Yet, now, it seemed that the tears were streaming down your face rapidly. Like the torrent waters of a river cutting through earth and soil, they poured down.

“I love you, Wakasa, I can’t… I…” You trailed off, at a loss for words at the absence of his own. Who knew this would hurt so badly? “You love me too, don’t you? Tell me that you love me too.”

The car fell silent, once again bringing back the memory of you sitting here in this same spot calling things off with him only a while ago. The weight of your desires hung in the air. 

Wakasa’s eyes were full of regret. He shook his head, taking his hand out of your grasp, “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

You felt your heart shatter.  You recoiled as if you had been struck by some invisible, unforeseen force. Then, you let Waka’s hand slip from your touch. 

Slowly, to your surprise, he pulled you into another hug, wrapping his arms around your trembling form. Your heart thumped wildly against your chest, torn between the comfort of his touch and the impending heartbreak that lingered in the air. He was confusing you.

He muttered. With a gentle squeeze, he held you closer, “‘M sorry. This life ain’t for you, doll.”

Your body stiffened against his, still struggling to process everything that had been dumped on you in the span of two hours. You clung to him like it would be the last embrace the two of you ever shared – no,  because it would be the last embrace the two of you ever shared. 

“No, please, don’t do this to me,” You pleaded brokenly. “I need you, ‘Kasa.”

“You know I have to do this,” He held you like he shared the sentiment, like he, too, wanted to make the most of what could very well be the last time the two of you saw each other like this. “No happy endings, remember?”

After this, he would be nothing but a stranger. The thought made you want to hurl.

You had never felt so alone before.

Was this love?

Your whole body shook with the force of your sobs. Waka gently brushed your tears away. His voice, dripping with tenderness and sorrow, seeped into your soul. “This is goodbye, okay?”

No, you thought. I won’t accept this.

You pulled away from him. “You’re a fucking coward,” you whispered between sobs. “I hate you.”

Waka's eyes met yours, his gaze soft and understanding, yet it only fueled the flames of your anger. How could he claim to comprehend the depths of your pain, the intricacies of your shattered heart? His tenderness felt like a cruel mockery at that moment, intensifying your resentment towards him.

“I know,” He nodded, as if accepting your accusation, though his expression revealed a profound sadness. It was as if he had heard those words before, and carried the weight of similar accusations. But his quiet acceptance only stoked the fire of your fury, fueling the bitterness that threatened to consume you.

Yet, despite your anger, there was a part of you that couldn't help but notice the sincerity in his gaze, the flicker of pain that danced in his eyes. It was a contradiction that confused and infuriated you even further. How could he evoke such conflicting emotions within you? How could he still have the power to touch your heart, even in the midst of your rage?

Feeling a surge of defiance amidst the sea of anguish, you pulled away from him, the anger within you bubbling to the surface. With a sudden burst of energy, fueled by your fractured heart, you swung open the car door and stumbled out onto the pavement. 

"I wish I never fucking met you," you seethed, the words torn from the depths of your wounded soul. You wish you meant it.

Then you slammed the door shut.

The words hung in the air, charged with the intensity of your pain. Each syllable reverberated through the silence, cutting through the stillness of the night. And as the echoes faded into the darkness, you turned on your heel and stormed off, leaving Waka behind

With each step you took, the anger within you burned brighter, fueling your determination to distance yourself from the source of your heartache. 

A call of your name shook you out of your angered reverie. You knew you shouldn’t stop, that you should have kept marching right on. Yet, you couldn’t help but turn to look back at him one more time.

He made you feel so weak.

He had rolled the window down. In his hand, he had your pink slipper. It was then that you realized you were missing a shoe. 

“You left this,” He noted, waving it toward you.

You refused to give him that satisfaction. Shaking your head at him through teary eyes, you spat, “Keep it, asshole.”

You turned your back on him again – for the last time – and stormed off. Every stride carried you further away from the wreckage of a love that had once blossomed but now lay in ruins. The words you had spoken, filled with bitterness and regret, echoed in your mind, a desperate attempt to sever the ties that still bound you to Wakasa

Yet, deep down, beneath the layers of anger and pain, a part of you yearned for the impossible—to undo the meeting that had led to this heartache. It was a futile wish, born out of the shattered remnants of a love that had once promised happiness.

Don’t look back, you thought.

And you didn’t. Not even as you fumbled for the keys in your pocket and unlocked the door to your house. Not even when you slammed the door shut behind you. Not even when you collapsed against the door, letting a gut-wrenching sob out the moment you found yourself in the safety of your own home.

And even when you sank to the floor in tears, fighting the urge to throw that door open again and run into his arms, you found yourself repeating the phrase like a mantra.

Don’t look back.

heyyyyy 😓😓 how yall doin.... no but fr how are we feeling after this one? could this be the end of waka??? (it isn't.) im not too confident abt this chapter even tho I put my whole pussy into it... I promise the next one will be infinitely better TRUUUSSSSST!!! to make up for the way I chewed your hearts up and spat them out this chapter (sorry lol) I will say!! stay tuned for the next episode of party monster featuring cameos from sano shinichiro, daddy benkei, and another character who I can't tell u abt yet!! (also who knows we may or may not get a chapter from wakas pov.... who knows.... u aint hear it from me) yk the drill tho, drop ur thoughts predictions and requests in the comments, I love listening to yall ;)) see u next chapter!! <33

I obviously do not own tokyo revengers or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

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[sparklypinkflightsuit]

The Containment Diaries: Entry 5

Pairing: Virologist!Bob Floyd x Reader AND Aviator!Bradley Bradshaw

ApocalypseAU

Warnings: Swearing, Smut, Warfare, Disease, Military Inaccuracies, Medical and Science Inaccuracies, Angst, Fluff, Alcohol, Breakdowns, Gore, I think that’s it?

- Entry 4 Here -

——————————

Additional Warning: This Entry is mostly just a whole lotta smut, more apocalypse fun to follow in Entry 6

18+ only beyond this point

——————————

You walked down the hall and stood for a moment outside room 12B. Part of you wasn’t sure if you were making the right choice in going to see Bradley, but something was pulling you to him.

You knocked three times and waited. You heard a shuffling inside and the door flew open. Bradley stood in front of you in sweats and shirtless, his dog tags dangling delicately in between his pecks. You immediately flushed bright red.

“Sorry, I wasn’t sure what time to come.” You bit your lip.

“You’re right on time, come in.” He grinned, grabbing your hand and pulling you inside.

“Right on time for what?” You laughed, hovering by the door.

“Sit, I’ll show you.” You did as he said and sat down on the small single bed you were sure was nowhere near big enough for someone Bradley’s size. He disappeared into the small en-suite and returned a moment later with a bottle of red wine and two plastic cups.

“I thought alcohol was strictly prohibited onboard?” You queried, but eagerly reaching for a cup as he poured. You needed a drink after the last few crazy days.

“It is, but… remember that Godfather I mentioned? Well lately he’s been more of a fairy Godfather, with everything going on he’s been a little less strict than usual, and he was never all that strict to begin with.” He chuckled, sitting next to you with his cup and cheersing you.

You smiled at him as you took a sip, immediately relaxing. “What’s the occasion?”

Bradley went quiet for a moment, and then looked into your eyes, suddenly serious.

“We’re flying out to the mainland tomorrow. It’s gotten bad Rue.” He nodded, a somber look taking over his usually cheerful face.

“Wait, what do you mean? Flying out for what?” You asked, suddenly filled with nerves.

“According to the CDC infection rates have skyrocketed, symptoms are slow to start but when they do they’re goddamn fast, and that’s just causing widespread panic, it’s absolute chaos. Tactical bombing has turned to just nuking whole cities, and we’re only a few days in. They want us on the ground with our army boys and girls to try and control the situation.” He said gravely, and your heart thumped aggressively in your chest.

“Bradley, you can’t…” you breathed, suddenly terrified for him.

“Don’t have a choice.” Bradley shrugged, “That’s why I was hoping to see you tonight.” He admitted. His face was close enough that you could smell the wine on his breath.

“You need to come back.” You told him.

“If I know you’re here waiting for me, I’ll do everything I can to come back.” He rasped.

You pressed your lips to his gently, suddenly desperate to feel him against you, thinking this may be your one and only chance.

Bradley took your drink from your hand and put it on his side table sloppily, wine spilling out over the sides. He pulled your legs so you were straddling him as he kissed you back, his hands remaining on your upper thighs.

You sighed into him and wrapped your arms around his neck as his strong hands squeezed your thighs, kissing him harder.

Bradley flipped you over so you were laying against his bed, as he continued his assault on your lips.

You pulled away for a moment to breathe and he moved to your neck, placing sloppy kisses down to your collar bone.

He grabbed the hem of your t shirt and pulled it over your head, and then tugged your sweats off in one quick motion.

You suddenly felt self conscious as the cool air kissed your skin, clad in nothing but your small black underwear.

Bradley took a moment to admire you, his eyes blown and his mouth hung open slightly.

“You are so beautiful.” He whispered.

“Come here.” You mumbled, hooking a finger around his dog tags and gently pulling him to you. Bradley crawled back up your body until his lips were back on yours, his bare skin hot against yours.

You made out for what felt like forever, savouring the feeling of each others lips and hands as they explored one another, before Bradley’s fingers found your bra clasp, and rid you of the offending item. His hand immediately replaced the bra and you moaned loudly at the feeling, bucking up into him.

“That feel good?” Bradley mumbled in between kissing your neck. You whimpered as he ground his hips into you.

“Yes.” You hissed, and he did it again, before moving down and capturing your nipple in his mouth.

You needed more, all Bradley was doing was teasing you. It had been such a long time since you’d last been intimate with anyone, and the sexual tension from the last few days was proving to be too much.

You hooked your thumbs into your underwear sides and yanked them down, causing Bradley’s jaw to drop fully as he looked down. He sat back on his heels and slowly peeled your underwear off of your legs, gently kissing your ankles as he lifted them.

He slid two fingers into his mouth and sucked, before spreading your legs apart and making eye contact with you.

“You want this?” He asked.

You nodded.

“Tell me how badly you want it.” He growled.

“I want you so bad!” You mewled at him, growing frustrated and impatient. The man looked like a God in the lamp light, golden and chiselled, you couldn’t take it.

Bradley grinned at you and slowly ran his fingers through your soaking wet folds. Your back arched at the sensation, begging for more.

Carefully, he slid a thick finger inside you, you moaned and bucked again as a second finger entered, and he began to pump, his thumb rubbing lazy circles into your clit.

“Fuck!” You cried, and he began to move faster, pulling whimpers from your mouth as you squirmed below him.

He palmed himself through his sweatpants as he watched his handiwork unfold, your wetness growing as his fingers slid in and out.

Your stomach began to tighten but you didn’t want it to yet. “Bradley stop! I need you.” You whined, now looking at him.

“Yes ma’am.” He purred, standing to remove his sweats and underwear. His rock hard member slapped against his chiselled torso, the size of him sure to tear you apart, but you didn’t care.

He climbed on top of you and kissed you passionately, you wrapped your legs around him as he positioned his tip at your entrance. You bucked again, and his tip slid in, stretching you in a way that made you want to cry out in pleasure. You and Bradley bucked in rhythm as more and more of him slid inside you, he grunted loudly, almost animalistically when he was fully seated.

“Oh my god, you feel so good.” He gasped, thrusting slowly.

You couldn’t speak, instead a series of pornographic noises between the two of you became a sort of communication as you paid all the attention to one another’s bodies. Rocking into one another and causing the metal framed bed to pound against the wall, your legs wrapped tightly around him.

You cried out and your body shuddered violently as you reached your climax, clenching around Bradley even tighter, causing him to reach his own end. His thrusts became sloppy and fast, as he bit your shoulder, grunting loudly as he came undone.

He collapsed on top of you and you both panted together, stealing a few more kisses until you had regained enough strength to pull away.

You cleaned yourselves up and spent the rest of the evening drinking wine in your underwear and sharing kisses in between conversation, until it was 3am and you knew you had to say goodnight.

“I don’t want you to go.” You admitted, terrified of what waited for him on the mainland.

“I have to, there are a lot of people counting on me. They need me.” Bradley stroked your hair as you leaned against the open door frame.

“What if I need you?”

Bradley smiled and kissed you for a long moment. “You don’t need me. But I’m coming back for you, Rue girl.” He promised as he pulled away.

“You better.” You smiled at him one last time before you walked down the hall to your room.

————————————

You spent the next day very much unable to focus. Every time you tried desperately to focus on the very important task at hand, your mind slipped inadvertently back to Bradley, and your stomach knotted with worry.

Bob had noticed your lack of mental presence and concentration, but chose not to say anything, as he knew it was not his place.

That was until around 2pm, when due to being distracted, you had knocked a glass beaker off of your desk and it landed with a deafening crash in the otherwise silent room, everyone turning to stare at you, like you had done something unforgivable.

You couldn’t hold in the frustration and pent up emotions anymore, so you huffed, rid yourself of your lab coat and stormed out of the room, muttering that you’d be back to clean up the glass later.

Bob looked around at your colleagues with wide eyes, “Everyone carry on with your work, I’ll be back.” He instructed, running after you.

He found you down the end of the long hallway, your hands covering your face as you paced, your chest heaving as you panted through what he thought looked to be the makings of a panic attack.

He crossed the hallway quickly and took you in his arms, “Hey, hey, it’s ok.” He muttered, as you melted into him and began to cry.

“Hey, it was just a beaker, we have more.” He chuckled softly.

“No, that’s not it.” You sobbed.

“Then tell me what’s going on.” He said, pulling away slightly so he could look at you, stroking your hair.

“I can’t.” Your bottom lip jutted in a pout, and Bobs heart melted. He looked around the hallway, and gave you a quick but sweet kiss.

You hummed.

“Yes you can, you can tell me anything Rue.” He pressed. You kissed him back, longer this time, your lips wet with tears.

“I can’t Bob, just trust me that I can’t. I need a distraction.” You breathed, beginning to unbutton Bobs shirt.

“Woah woah, hey, not here.” He breathed, taking your hand and pulling you down the hall.

Once you had reached Bobs room, he closed the door, and you pushed him up against it, kissing him hungrily.

“Wait, Rue. I can’t do this when you’re upset.” He grabbed your hands gently and pushed you backwards until your legs hit the bed and you sat down.

You huffed, “Then why’d you bring me back here, Bob?”

“Because I want you to talk to me, what’s going on with you today?” The worried look on his face unfaltering. God he was so handsome, you just wanted to rip his clothes off and-

“Rue?” Bob pressed. You sighed, throwing yourself back on the bed as you stared up at the ceiling.

You contemplated whether or not it was a good idea to tell him, ultimately deciding to be honest.

“Bradley and his squad have been sent to the mainland, he says it’s gotten out of control, Bob. And here I am unable to focus enough on a stupid cure that could fix it all.”

“I’m assuming Bradley’s the other guy?” Bob sighed. You nodded.

Bob leant back so he was laying next to you, and he took your hand in his, threading his fingers in between them.

“Listen, it’s not our fault that the outbreak started, so that at least shouldn’t be on your mind. Here we are being tasked with this mammoth, burden of a responsibility that we had zero say in, and we’re doing our best. You’re doing your best. There are going to be good days and bad, Rue, don’t put too much pressure on yourself.”

You turned your head to look at him, weighing up his words as you got lost in his cobalt eyes. You turned your head back to the ceiling and sighed heavily.

“Bradley and I fucked last night.” You blurted out.

Bobs eyes went wide, and he joined you in staring at the ceiling again.

“Do you want to be with him… more?” He asked.

“No, my feelings for you both are equal. It’s not fair I know, but… you’re both so different, both in incredible ways. You can tell me to fuck off if you want.”

Bob chuckled suddenly in surprise. “No, I won’t do that. I want you too badly.”

You looked at him again, and brought a hand over to caress his face gently.

You bit your lips at his words, you wanted him so badly in that moment.

“Will you fuck me, Bob?” You asked, not caring about how crass your question came across.

Bob shook his head, “No.” he mumbled. Your heart sank.

“I won’t fuck you Rue, but I’ll make love to you if you’ll let me.”

Your heart thrummed against your chest, as Bob rolled over to his side.

His hand gently skimmed the bare skin of your stomach that peaked through under your T-shirt. The feeling sent electric shocks through you.

He dipped his head and captured your lips hungrily, and your hands moved to tangle in his hair.

Bob gently drew patterns on your skin before his fingers dipped below your jeans, eliciting a gasp from you as they slipped below your underwear and through your already slick folds.

Bob wasted no time in slipping inside you as he kissed your lips, his tongue licking across your bottom lip to ask for entrance. You granted this and his tongue slipped into your mouth, expertly exploring yours.

He slipped in a second thick finger and began to pump gently, you moaned into his mouth and your chest heaved as you began to pant with pleasure. You could feel Bob growing harder and harder through his pants against your leg, and you moved your hand to rub his bulge.

Bob grunted at the feeling and you took this as permission to clumsily unzip his pants, pumping his now free cock slowly. God he was also massive, your poor body would be stretched and bruised but you didn’t care. Bob growled lowly into your lips, and his thumb moved to rub gentle circles into your now throbbing clit. You bucked your hips at the feeling and Bob picked up the pace until you were panting and whining for more than just his delicious hands on you.

Bob bit your bottom lip and pulled away, you immediately missed the stretch of his fingers and lips on yours.

Bob stood and unbuttoned his shirt while you watched, you were a little surprised at how chiselled and tanned he was below his professional attire, and once he rid himself of his pants, he no longer looked like Dr Bob Floyd from Virology, no, this man was your Bobby. Messy hair, wild eyes behind his steamy glasses, a perfect body and veiny arms, he looked different somehow.

You sat up and whipped your shirt off, and shimmied out of your jeans until you were just in your underwear. Bob held up a hand to instruct you to leave them on as he crawled back up to you. He slowly kissed a line up your legs, stopping to give extra attention to your hot core through your soaking underwear. You threw your head back against the mattress as he licked a stripe up the fabric and moved to pepper kisses along your stomach and up the valley of your breasts. He snuck a hand behind your back and unclasped your bra, using his teeth to pull it off of you. He took a second to marvel at your body below him, naked and soft and beautiful, as he dropped your bra into his lap and threw it aside.

Bob then took two large hands and wrapped them around your upper thighs, pulling you down the bed, closer to him. He rubbed his hands teasingly up your thighs, and hooked his fingers in your soaking underwear, pulling them off slowly.

Bob spat into his hand and pumped himself, before running his fingers through your folds again, dipping back inside you and curling his fingers expertly against your g spot.

You choked out a pleasured sob as you clenched around his fingers, and he slowly removed them.

Bob looked you in the eyes as he positioned himself at your entrance, and slowly pushed into you. You gasped and Bob moaned at the feeling of him stretching out your tight walls.

“Bobby!” You cried, back arching and eyes closing tight. His hands squeezed around your thighs as he let you both adjust to the feeling.

“W-want me to stop?”

You shook your head, “No, don’t stop. You feel so good, please move.” You begged, and Bob did as he was told, his mouth half hanging open in pleasure and half in a crooked grin. Sitting back on his heels with your lower half angled up towards him, he thrust into you slowly, gripping one hand on your thigh as the other moved to your hip, pulling you into him. Grunts of pleasure left Bobs lips as he thrust, and you felt you might scream from the pleasure. Bob felt incredible, there was something about his slow and intentional movements that sent shockwaves through you.

The hand that had been on your thigh moved to your stomach, and flattened against you as he pressed down gently. You now felt Bobs thick cock rubbing against your cervix walls, and your eyes rolled to the back of your head, your jaw hanging open.

“Oh my god!” You cried, your hands gripping the sheets as you bucked your hips into him hard.

Bob picked up his pace and began to thrust harder, now leaning over you. He grabbed your jaw and tilted your face to look at him, your brows furrowed and you bit your lip.

“Tell me how I make you feel.” He instructed, this new Bob was seriously turning you on.

Bradley had done you well and good the night before, it was pleasurable and beautiful and left you wobbling afterwards, but this was a whole new ballgame, shy Bob could fuck.

You were a blabbering mess, unable to get any words out as he ground into you.

“I said, tell me how I make you feel.” He instructed again, his thumb pushing into your mouth. You gently bit down on the digit and Bob hissed.

“Like that. That’s how you make me feel.” You whined.

Bob grinned and planted his lips to yours again as he lifted one of your legs over his shoulder.

“You feel incredible.” He moaned into you. “Now come for me like a good girl.”

This sent you over the edge, your eyes rolling again as your back arched. Bob took one of your nipples into his mouth and swirled his hot tongue around it.

“Bob I’m gonna cum, don’t… don’t stop.” You moaned loudly, and Bob picked up the pace, thrusting harder into you as his lips moved to suck bruises into your neck.

“That’s my good, dirty girl.” He growled into your neck, and that was your undoing. You nails dug into his back as you bucked violently, clenching around him as you screamed his name.

Bob followed shortly after, the scene unfolding under him too hot to ignore, and hot ropes of cum spilt into you as he cursed loudly, his thrusting grew sloppy and ground to a halt.

Panting, he hovered over you for several minutes, admiring your beautiful flustered face, eyes black with lust and swollen lips. You lifted a hand to remove his foggy glasses so you could look into his eyes, a bead of sweat rolling down his neck and down his red chest.

“Not gonna lie, the glasses really get me going.” You chuckled, and Bob collapsed with his head on your chest as he laughed.

You both eventually made it back to the lab, walking on wobbly legs and both very clearly having been up to something. The smiles on your faces evidently opposite to how you had left the room.

Safe to say you received a few glares from your female colleagues as you went back to work, but at least now you could focus on the task at hand.

———————————

- Entry 6 Here -

I don’t have a Taglist for this series but I will be updating my Masterlist as I go 💛

Likes and reblogs super welcome and appreciated!

[byuteablanc]

One Human and a Whole Lotta Bones | Skeleharem x Gender Neutral Reader

—

Hello! These are some important things you should know before continuing!

> The reader is everything neutral, which includes race, body, as previously mentioned, gender, etc

> The underfell bros aren’t toxic

> I have used a lot of headcanons to do my own iteration of what I think of when I thought of a skeleharem. Though this is inspired by famous fics like 6S,1M and TSM, this is nothing like either of them. If you disagree with my iteration, please don’t slander me

With that, I hope you enjoy! And if you’d prefer, I have this on AO3 as well. Click this to get to the link.

—

Chapter One: Home

You pulled into the six car garage, feeling good. It was another late, difficult night. You could only be grateful to be back at the house after your very long day filled with annoying customers, and an even more annoying manager. Constant pestering and nitpicking, as if you couldn’t do your job any faster or at all. Yeah sorry you couldn’t sprint across the restaurant to deliver your customer’s drinks and food at the speed of sound. You were only human after all.

With enough self-loathing to fill the next mile and an half, you get out of your car and walk into the mud room. You take off your shoes and coat, placing them in the closet for safe keeping. But not before being blinded by a jacket coated in really shiny sequins, which combined with the light felt like a flashbang. This jacket was just added to the closet today, because you definitely would’ve noticed this menagerie when you left this morning.

The jacket was all the way covered in sequins and even on the inside as you saw after investigation. *Probably Blue trying a new, and hopefully short lived, aesthetic*, you noted.

Letting your eyes recouperate, you looked at the closet for a while and looked at the distinct coats and jackets littering the space. Each one you could tell whose it belonged to. Papyrus had a long distinct red shall that looked more like a cape or a wizard’s robe, Sans had a plain blue puffer coat but only after his brother demanded he wear something thicker than his also plain blue felt zip up hoodie. Red had a large baggy kid-going-through-their-emo-phase esque jacket with a hood that contained enough fluff to cover a large mutt. Edge had a wannabe black leather jacket with flames on the back and arms with metal spikes on the shoulders and cuffs, also kid-going-through-their-emo-phase like. Blue’s new jacket you did not want to look at again. Stretch had a nice long green coat that would reach his ankles comprised of thick fabric and buttons made of hard plastic.. which is not something you’d expect. Andddd you just remembered you were tired with a desire for food and sleep.

Walking into the house, it was still full of energy, which was weird. After all, it was late, 11:38 to be exact. Your roommates would be sleeping or at least in bed by now, especially the more responsible of the bunch. But yet here you were, you could hear voices and laughter.

You followed the sound to the source to find your skelebuddies all at the dining table. They weren’t eating though, just chatting. And they left one seat vacant, one seat for you.

Noticing you standing there in the doorway, seemingly in a trance, they call to you. “long night huh, kid?” Red remarked.

“HELLO Y/N!” Papyrus greeted, waving to you as if you weren’t a few feet away.

“You guys haven’t started yet? It’s literally after eleven.” You furrowed your brows, taking your seat.

Cinnabar frowned, “We Wanted To Wait Until You Came Home, Dear. Is That So Bad?” He asked, feigning dramatics.

“Well, no…” You paused, feeling a weird lump in your throat for some reason. “It’s just that no one’s ever done that for me before. I’m used to eating meals alone.” You shrug, not realizing the implications of what you just said. They all look just stare at you. You felt a blush rise up to your cheeks, you look away in embarrassment.

There was a silence in the room, awkward wouldn’t be the best way to describe it, a little depressing and somewhat concerned would be the proper way. “WELL, YOUR WELCOME. LET’S GET TO THE FOOD NOW! I’M HUNGRY.” Edge declared, breaking the silence.

“EDGE…” Blue face palmed.

“WHAT? WHAT DID I DO?”

“Trust me it’s fine, I agree with Edge. I’m hungry too.” You agreed, wanting to change the subject from such emotionally intimate undertones.

Papyrus jumped out of his seat. “OOOO I’LL GO GET THE FOOD FROM THE OVEN!”

‘i’ll go too’ Russ signed.

“Make that three!” You said quickly, not wanting to continue awkward conversation.

“Wait, Y/n!” Cinnabar called, and you pretended to ignore him.

Now in the kitchen, you smell something good. It makes you smile and get a little excited in anticipation. You were guessing Blue cooked today, he was making progress. Your relearning-how-to-cook lessons with him have most certainly paid off.

One of your first experiences with this merry band of bones was tacos with half salmonella ridden, have charcoal ground beef that had glitter and sugar in them. Fascinatingly enough, the sugar was added deliberately for a “ORIGINAL SWING ON THE CLASSIC TACO!” as Blue stated at the time. “Original swing” couldn’t describe what the taste was. What’s even more fascinating is that all your other roommates that enjoyed cooking were the same way! You didn’t know how they survived before you came along, you needed to get the details one day.

“What was on the menu for tonight, Russ?”

‘Premade over baked pizzas, it was a lazy sunday’ He shifted his shoulders a little, usual straight face cracking a smirk as if he was giggling. You nodded in response, opening the oven to see three piping hot pizzas. God did they smell divine.

Each of you grabbed an oven mitt and took one out, taking them back to the dining room. You quickly ran back, putting away your oven mitts. Sprinting back to the dining room to dig in, you sat back down in your seat with a carnivorous look to you. You snatched the first slice(s) and began eating, not even noticing the concerned and even disgusted looks you got from your friends.

Soon, conversation began to bubble up around the room, and now out of your food hungry stupor, you payed attention.

“I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU ALL… I HATE PEPPERONI,” Blue declared, actively taking it off from his slices.

“how can someone hate pepperoni…” Stretch looked at him with a thousand yard stare.

Sans, nodded, dousing his pizza in a mountain of ketchup. “gonna have to agree with stretch there, blue.”

“BROTHER, YOU HAVE NO GROUNDS TO TALK WITH YOUR… INTERESTING TASTES…” Papyrus judged, looking down at his plate with scrutiny.

“you haven’t even tried it bro, it helps me relish the flavor.”

Papyrus began groaning, along with Cinnabar, Blue, and Edge. While Sans himself, Stretch, Red, and Russ could only giggle. You found yourself standing in the middle when it came to puns, sometimes they were stupid, sometimes they were the funniest thing in the world. But right now, you were so tired that laughing seemed to contain too much energy that you just didn’t have.

“BEFORE HE GOES ON A PUN RUN, HOW WAS EVERYONE’S DAY?”

“Russ Said ‘did you just say pun run?’” Cinnabar recited for his brother.

“YES! NOW ANYWAYS—“

Stretch giggled. “heheh, ‘pun run’. you’re too funny, bro.”

Blue stared at him with annoyance.

“sorry” Stretch scratched the back of his vertebrae.

“my day was wonderful, thanks fer asking,” red smirked

Edge frowned, throwing his arms up. “BUT YOU JUST LAID AROUND ALL DAY AND DID NOTHING!”

Red, opens his mouth to take a bite from his now fourth slice. “exafly.” He replies, food in his mouth, earning him a few disgusted looks.

“What Did You Do Today Y/n?” Cinnabar smiled at you, looking expectant.

Awww man, you were enjoying the banter. They all turned the heads to look at you at the same time, it was kinda freaky. You could at least admire the manners. “Uhhm, not much to say honestly. Oh except my manager is like an asshole, but you guys have already—“

“NO SWEARING AT THE DINNER TABLE!” Papyrus corrected.

“oh cmon papyrus, we’re not five. i think some cuss words wouldn’t hurt.” Stretch rolled his eye lights.

“OH SHUT UP STRETCH, IT’S INDECENT AND YOU KNOW IT!” Edge pointed a phalange at him accusingly.

“it should only be indecent when used in a irresponsible way. plus, would you rather hear asshole or butthole?”

“‘the latter makes me cringe personally.’ Agreed Brother! No Offense To Your Human Body Part, Y/n.” Cinnabar reassured, making you chuckle a little bit. These guys were hilarious.

“Well, as you guys are talking about assholes—“ Papyrus groaned “—I’m going to go to sleep, it’s late and I have school tomorrow.” You remark, getting out your seat and getting your plate.

“GOOD NIGHT!” Blue exclaimed.

‘sleep well, y/n.’ Russ signed.

“yeah what they said,” Sans chuckled, everyone nodding in agreement.

With that, you walk to the kitchen, hearing conversation continue behind you as your place your plate in the sink. Placing your hands in your pocket, you traverse upstairs going past the foyer and walking upstairs. Your room is at the very end of the hallway, feeling far away now that your sleepiness and the introduction of food to your body has combined.

Reaching your room, you close the door and start changing into your sleep wear. You relished the soft feeling of the fabric on you, making you feel calm. You make sure to plug your device(s) for the night, before hitting the hay. Now climbing into bed, you lay there, closing your eyes.

In a very frustrating turn of events, your mind wont turn off and you can’t go to sleep. You feel wide awake and are just waiting for that wave of sleepiness to come back. After a few moments, you can slowly see your thoughts going slower and slower as the need for sleep slowly creeps back in. You drift into a deep sleep…

Knock Knock Knock

You groan, shifting positions in your bed to face the door. “Yes?”

You hear someone enter your room, opening your eyes you come in contact with Cinnabar. You sit up, “What’s up?”

“Oh! Sorry I Hope I Didn’t Disrupt Any Sleeping!”

“It’s fine,” you exhale, waking yourself up.

“Okay, I Just Wanted To Talk To You About That Thing You Said Earlier.” He furrows his brows in worry.

Oh jeez…

“Have You Really Never Experienced A Meal With Others Before?”

You look to the side, frowning. You hear a sigh.

“Ah Nevermind The Question, I Just Want You To Understand Something…”

You turn back to look at him expectantly, watching him walk towards you and sit beside you on your bed. “This Is Your Home Now, And When As Long As You’re With Us, Especially Me, You Will Never Be Alone. —I-I Mean Eat Alone, Yes, Eat!” He cleared his throat.

You smiled, feeling that familiar lump in your throat rise to the occasion. You lean into hug him. “Thank you, I really appreciate that,” you whisper where his ear would be.

Cinnabar, surprised at first, quickly reciprocates the hug. You could feel him being to smile as he leaned into the crook of your neck. “Anytime, Dear.”

You break the hug, Cinnabar seemed reluctant to let go but did regardless. Continuing to smile, he got up from your bed. “Good Night, Y/n.” He walked to the door, turning the doorknob and stepping out, “Dream Sweet Dreams.” He softly closed the door.

Laying back down in your bed, you couldn’t help but feel a wetness form from your eyes. Turning to look up at the ceiling, you take a deep breath.

“This is my home,” you repeat, putting a hand over your chest.

You can’t help but feel elated.

—

BEGINNING | Next Chapter

[tired-inyxe]

WIP - Batfam/Dc Tag Masterlist

This is ridiculously long so m putting it under cut, m gonna add more (YES MORE. THERES A LOTTA CHARACTERS OK???) tags when I feel like it but I wanna finalize my main master post later

#bat anatomy -batfam masterpost (and everything else dc)

#going batty -batfam analysis (typically angry)

#mailing pipe bombs -enraged at dc's writers

#honey im taking the kids -stuff about dc's poor treatment of the batkids (they're mine now fuck u)

#the bat -abt batman in all its forms (persona not a specific character)

#the bird -abt robin in all its forms (ditto)

#the shadows -abt every other persona in all their forms(because normal ppl dont know em)

#bernards pegboard -crack headcanons

#sandbox -headcanons

#my story now -my personal batfam timeline/story (because dc sucks at writing

#shoved in mahogany 6 feet under -wasted potential of any/all characters

#revived wings -my view of a bat characters true potential

#case files -panels/pages that I use for evidence abt canon

#bamboozled -fun canon comic panels that make me laugh

#goth cake -batfam art

#dysfunctional worms -batfam writing

#cave screeches -rambles, usually angry

#bats and birds -any and all posts that contain any of em

#batcape -anything Bruce

#disco girl -anything Dick

#pride and prejudice -anything Jason

#skateboards and spite -anything Tim

#kittens and knives -anything Damian

#dayshift -anything Duke

#potato waffles -anything Steph

#ballet shoes -anything Cass

#spot of tea -anything Alfred

#all seeing snark -anything Babs

#handmade guns and gender envy -anything Harper

#jaded red -anything Kate

#lack the worms dc edition -any character i dont know/care about enough to make a custom tag for (m sorry)

#revolving door -Rogues gallery

#REFORM THE DAMN JUSTICE SYSTEM YOU BILLIONAIRE -me complaining about dc's inability to make Bruce use his fuckin money and power to change the city, also any arkham/blackgate rants

#i stabbed him hes dead -anything joker

#bats and hounds -anything Harley

#eco friendly -anything Ivy

#shot him he's dead too -anything Black Mask

#strawman argument -anything Scarecrow

#your wife is dead -anything Mr Freeze (sorry not sorry)

#bipolar ableism but gay -anything Harvey

#scared of seals -anything Penguin

#neon green twink -anything Riddler

#broke b's spine -anything Bane

#leather catgirl -anything Selina

#back in the cell -every other rogue I don't care about

#god forbid a woman have hobbies -anything Thalia

#withering gamer -anything Ra's

#magic mountain dew -Lazarus pit

#assassin gamers -League of Assasins

#competent idiots -Justice League

#its just an s -anything Clark

#unbreakable porcelain -anything Diana

#retired at the speed of light -anything Barry

#zooming with the big leagues now -anything Wally

#h in adhd -anything the Flash persona

#neon green with a ring -anything Hal

#weak to yellow -anything Green lantern persona

#blowing bubbles -anything Arthur

#he stole the braincell -anything Jhon (theres an accent mark somewhere in there ill fix it later)

#batson but not yet adopted -anything Billy

#cigarette ash -anything Constantine

#fics favorite magician -anything Zatanna

#hijacked the mainframe -anything Cyborg

#signature chili -anything Ollie

#screech metal -anything Black Canary

#under the roundtable -everyone else in the Justice League

#every band eventually -og Teen Titans (they broke up)

#saltwater bubble blower -anything Garth

#tectonic shifter -anything Terra

#red threads and all -anything Red X

#i exploded him yw -anything Slade

#stronger than steel -anything Donna (might change)

#shapeshifting greenbean -anything Gar

#goth girls inspiration -anything Raven

#international incidents the team -Young Justice

#test tube baby -Anything Kon

#meep meep -anything Bart

#girlbossed zeus -anything Cassie

#rags to the grave -anything Greta

#arrows notched red -anything Cissie

#mosh pit winner -anything Anita

#panic at the disco -anything Slobo

again, theres still more. dc is an 80 year long series theres so many guys. also not sold on some of these so various tags may be subject to change

[sammy-witha-c]

What song do you think fits each of the S2 teens the most?

Or if you just have a character playlist too, I just need new songs ;;

Oh hello!! Ohhh I have so many but no proper playlist- I'll list around five for each teen, if that's alright!! They all have a lil explaination too :)

Scary:

"Lotta True Crime", Penelope Scott

Scary is sooooo a true crime girl, what a problematic fav... In general I just find a lot of this song almost feels like it's in her voice, especially the stuff about the anger of the unfairness of it all and the desperation for connection.

"dead girl in the pool.", girl in red

Hmmm this one is a little hard to explain. It's like. There's a dead girl in the pool and it's actually you and it's your past self and you're watching her float away and you miss her / and you hate her / and you don't want to tell anyone because that would be admitting that used to be you but it hurts to see her not have a proper burial. She's still in you. You know?

"I Am A Poseur", X-Ray Spex

MY LIL PUNK GIRL!! Looove her.

"Feel Better", Penelope Scott

I feel like this one is pretty self-explainitory!!

"jerk", The Front Bottoms

Scary feeling guilty over hurting the people she loves vs nowing they love her anyway. Like. Ughhhh Scary I love you!!

Normal:

"The DJ Is Crying For Help", AJR

I have no explaination for this I just love him :)

"Daisy Bell", by tamachang and CYBER DIVA

Okay so this is less ABOUT Normal and more a song I think Normal would like!! This is a rendition of the song "Daisy Bell" with three computer voices doing a lil trio, one of which is a reanimation of the first computer to 'sing'!!!. The fact that it's a song about love but it's sung by computers, which are made by people's love and wonder and hope, but can objectively not feel it just. Makes me so emo. And I think it would make him pretty emo too :)

"Record Player", Daisy The Great

He struggles with his sense of self bayBEEE.

"Downtown - Uptempo", Anya Taylor-Joy

I've got less of an explaination for this one tbh! More just vibes methinks

"The Chicken", Bo Burnham

He's the heart of the group... he has hope... my boyyyy.

Taylor:

"I Still Taste Fire", Stephanie Mabey

demon taylor... the memory syring... i dunno it makes me emo :)

"Do What You Gotta Do", Decendants

LMAO IDK. this is more a jokey one but it also fits so well?? Taylor would probably listen and take it so seriously. Love this kid.

"Hero of Our Time", Natewantstobattle

Honeslt y most of Taylor's songs are pretty straightforward! He's a hero. It's our time. What more can I say.

"The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny", Lemon Demon

Am I wrong.

Linc:

"Rainbow Connection", Kermit

idk him <3

"Burn Masculinity", The Spook School

This one's kind of hard to explain?? It just FEELS like Linc to me. I dunno I dunno!!

"Be Nice To Me", The Front Bottoms

Something something Linc and Grant! Complicated. "You're a killer / and I'm your best friend." "You say I'm changing / sorry, I didn't know I had to stay the same."

"Interlude: I'm Not Angry Anymore", Paramore

MY GUY. he has so many complicated feelings he gets angry and then feels bad and it's just a cycle and I love him your honor.

Thank you for the question!! Hope some of these work for you :)

[dan6085]

### Daryl Hall & John Oates Songs in Chronological Order

#### **From The Album "Whole Oats" (1972)**

1. **"I'm Sorry"**

2. **"All Our Love"**

3. **"Georgie"**

4. **"Fall in Philadelphia"**

5. **"Waterwheel"**

6. **"Lazyman"**

7. **"Goodnight and Goodmorning"**

8. **"They Needed Each Other"**

9. **"Southeast City Window"**

10. **"Thank You for ..."**

11. **"Lilly (Are You Happy)"**

#### **From The Album "Abandoned Luncheonette" (1973)**

12. **"When the Morning Comes"**

13. **"Had I Known You Better Then"**

14. **"Las Vegas Turnaround (The Stewardess Song)"**

15. **"She’s Gone"**

16. **"I’m Just a Kid (Don’t Make Me Feel Like a Man)"**

17. **"Abandoned Luncheonette"**

18. **"Lady Rain"**

19. **"Laughing Boy"**

20. **"Everytime I Look at You"**

#### **From The Album "War Babies" (1974)**

21. **"Can’t Stop the Music (He Played It Much Too Long)"**

22. **"Is It a Star"**

23. **"Beanie G. and the Rose Tattoo"**

24. **"You’re Much Too Soon"**

25. **"70’s Scenario"**

26. **"War Baby Son of Zorro"**

27. **"I’m Watching You (A Mutant Romance)"**

28. **"Better Watch Your Back"**

29. **"Screaming Through December"**

30. **"Johnny Gore and the "C" Eaters"**

#### **From The Album "Daryl Hall & John Oates" (1975)**

31. **"Camellia"**

32. **"Sara Smile"**

33. **"Alone Too Long"**

34. **"Out of Me, Out of You"**

35. **"Nothing at All"**

36. **"Gino (The Manager)"**

37. **"It Doesn't Matter Anymore"**

38. **"Ennui on the Mountain"**

39. **"Grounds for Separation"**

40. **"Soldering"**

#### **From The Album "Bigger Than Both of Us" (1976)**

41. **"Back Together Again"**

42. **"Rich Girl"**

43. **"Crazy Eyes"**

44. **"Do What You Want, Be What You Are"**

45. **"Kerry"**

46. **"London, Luck & Love"**

47. **"Room to Breathe"**

48. **"You'll Never Learn"**

49. **"Falling"**

#### **From The Album "Beauty on a Back Street" (1977)**

50. **"Don't Change"**

51. **"Why Do Lovers Break Each Other's Heart?"**

52. **"You Must Be Good for Something"**

53. **"The Emptyness"**

54. **"Love Hurts (Love Heals)"**

55. **"Bigger Than Both of Us"**

56. **"Bad Habits and Infections"**

57. **"Winged Bull"**

58. **"The Girl Who Used to Be"**

#### **From The Album "Along the Red Ledge" (1978)**

59. **"It's a Laugh"**

60. **"Melody for a Memory"**

61. **"The Last Time"**

62. **"I Don't Wanna Lose You"**

63. **"Have I Been Away Too Long"**

64. **"Alley Katz"**

65. **"Don't Blame It on Love"**

66. **"Serious Music"**

67. **"Pleasure Beach"**

68. **"August Day"**

#### **From The Album "X-Static" (1979)**

69. **"The Woman Comes and Goes"**

70. **"Wait for Me"**

71. **"Portable Radio"**

72. **"All You Want Is Heaven"**

73. **"Who Said the World Was Fair"**

74. **"Running from Paradise"**

75. **"Number One"**

76. **"Bebop/Drop"**

77. **"Hallofon"**

78. **"Intravino"**

#### **From The Album "Voices" (1980)**

79. **"How Does It Feel to Be Back"**

80. **"Big Kids"**

81. **"United State"**

82. **"Hard to Be in Love with You"**

83. **"Kiss on My List"**

84. **"Gotta Lotta Nerve (Perfect Perfect)"**

85. **"You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'"**

86. **"You Make My Dreams"**

87. **"Everytime You Go Away"**

88. **"Africa"**

89. **"Diddy Doo Wop (I Hear the Voices)"**

#### **From The Album "Private Eyes" (1981)**

90. **"Private Eyes"**

91. **"Looking for a Good Sign"**

92. **"I Can't Go for That (No Can Do)"**

93. **"Mano a Mano"**

94. **"Did It in a Minute"**

95. **"Head Above Water"**

96. **"Tell Me What You Want"**

97. **"Friday Let Me Down"**

98. **"Unguarded Minute"**

99. **"Your Imagination"**

100. **"Some Men"**

#### **From The Album "H2O" (1982)**

101. **"Maneater"**

102. **"Crime Pays"**

103. **"Art of Heartbreak"**

104. **"One on One"**

105. **"Open All Night"**

106. **"Family Man"**

107. **"Italian Girls"**

108. **"Guessing Games"**

109. **"Delayed Reaction"**

110. **"At Tension"**

111. **"Go Solo"**

#### **From The Album "Rock 'n Soul Part 1" (1983)**

112. **"Say It Isn't So"**

113. **"Adult Education"**

#### **From The Album "Big Bam Boom" (1984)**

114. **"Dance on Your Knees"**

115. **"Out of Touch"**

116. **"Method of Modern Love"**

117. **"Bank on Your Love"**

118. **"Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid"**

119. **"Going Thru the Motions"**

120. **"Cold, Dark and Yesterday"**

121. **"All American Girl"**

122. **"Possession Obsession"**

#### **From The Album "Ooh Yeah!" (1988)**

123. **"Downtown Life"**

124. **"Everything Your Heart Desires"**

125. **"I'm in Pieces"**

126. **"Missed Opportunity"**

127. **"Talking All Night"**

128. **"Rockability"**

129. **"Rocket to God"**

130. **"Soul Love"**

131. **"Realove"**

132. **"Keep on Pushin' Love"**

#### **From The Album "Change of Season" (1990)**

133. **"So Close"**

134. **"Starting All Over Again"**

135. **"Sometimes a Mind Changes"**

136. **"Change of Season"**

137. **"I Ain't Gonna Take It This Time"**

138. **"Everywhere I Look"**

139. **"Rip It Up"**

140. **"Give It Up (Old Habits)"**

141. **"Don't Hold Back Your Love"**

142. **"Halfway There"**

143. **"Only Love"**

144. **"Heavy Rain"**

#### **From The Album "Marigold Sky" (1997)**

145. **"Romeo Is Bleeding"**

146. **"Marigold Sky"**

147. **"The Sky Is Falling"**

148. **"Out of the Blue"**

149. **"Want To"**

150. **"Love Out Loud"**

151. **"Throw the Roses Away"**

152. **"I Don't Think So"**

153. **"Promise Ain't Enough"**

154. **"Time Won't Pass Me By"**

155. **"Hold on to Yourself"**

156. **"War of Words"**

#### **From The Album "Do It for Love" (2003)**

157. **"Man on a Mission"**

158. **"Do It for Love"**

159. **"Someday We'll Know"**

160. **"Forever for You"**

161. **"Life's Too Short"**

162. **"Getaway Car"**

163. **"Make You Stay"**

164. **"Miss DJ"**

165. **"(She) Got Me Bad"**

166. **"Breath of Your Life"**

167. **"Intuition"**

168. **"Heartbreak Time"**

169. **"Something About You"**

170. **"Love in a Dangerous Time"**

#### **From The Album "Our Kind of Soul" (2004)**

171. **"Let Love Take Control"**

172. **"Soul Violins"**

173. **"Can't Stop the Music"**

174. **"The Way You Do the Things You Do"**

175. **"Baby Come Home"**

176. **"Love You Like a Brother"**

177. **"You're a Big Girl Now"**

178. **"I'll Be Around"**

179. **"I Can't Go for That (No Can Do)"**

180. **"You Make My Dreams"**

#### **From The Album "Home for Christmas" (2006)**

181. **"Home for Christmas"**

182. **"Jingle Bell Rock"**

183. **"Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"**

184. **"Silver Bells"**

185. **"Auld Lang Syne"**

186. **"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)"**

187. **"Frosty the Snowman"**

188. **"Winter Wonderland"**

189. **"Blue Christmas"**

#### **From The Album "Laughing Down Crying" (2011)**

190. **"Laughing Down Crying"**

191. **"Daydream"**

192. **"Eyes for You"**

193. **"Live at the Apollo"**

194. **"I'll Be Around"**

195. **"Crank It Up"**

196. **"A Night at the Apollo"**

197. **"Too Good to Be True"**

198. **"Be My Baby"**

#### **From The Album "BeforeAfter" (2014)**

199. **"Before After"**

200. **"The Last Time"**

201. **"Loving You Again"**

202. **"Wrong Side of the Tracks"**

203. **"You’re Much Too Soon"**

204. **"What’s Your Story"**

205. **"The Other Side"**

206. **"Hold on to You"**

207. **"Everytime You Leave"**

208. **"Invisible"**

#### **From The Album "Good Road to Follow" (2015)**

209. **"Good Road to Follow"**

210. **"Everything Must Change"**

211. **"No Easy Way"**

212. **"Kiss of Life"**

213. **"Walk Away"**

214. **"Love Remains"**

215. **"Can’t Let You Go"**

216. **"Be There"**

217. **"True Love"**

#### **From The Album "The Essential Daryl Hall & John Oates" (2019)**

218. **"Rich Girl"**

219. **"Maneater"**

220. **"Private Eyes"**

221. **"You Make My Dreams"**

222. **"I Can’t Go for That (No Can Do)"**

223. **"Sara Smile"**

224. **"Kiss on My List"**

225. **"Say It Isn’t So"**

226. **"Out of Touch"**

227. **"Method of Modern Love"**

This list captures the notable songs from Daryl Hall & John Oates’ discography in chronological order. Their work spans multiple decades, showcasing their evolution in music style and production.

[abernthyss]

BETTER OFF PT 2

Anthony Bridgerton x reader (enemies to lovers)

A/n: Part 2 !! This is mostly for @jessyballet and @alldaysdreamers for requesting this to be a series. Yes I see the comments. The first part got 200+ interactions and a whole lotta love so who am I to not give the audience what they want? Enjoy!

Summary: Anthony Bridgerton married you out of convenience and duty, hoping to suppress your outward personality over time. His efforts are in vain and getting worse as he begins feeling something more for you. Perhaps you are begging to feel it as well.

Word count: 1504

Warnings: mention of loss of virginity, angst, period typical misogyny, uncomfortable sex

The day started as every other. You had stopped reaching over in search of your husband’s figure only a week after your first night together. Your mother had passed when you were young and it left you with no knowledge of how the evening would go. You hated being kept in the dark especially when it came to the man you were about to marry. Despite how unconventional and improper it was, you went to the only mother figure you had. At the time you and The Viscount’s mother had become quite close. Her kindness and genuine care made you like her instantly. You were left to wonder how such a wonderful woman had such an awful man for a son. You begrudgingly and shyly asked Violet what to expect on your wedding night. The poor woman flushed and stuttered out words as best she could. After all, she had done it once with Daphne (with a similar reaction) and did not expect to do so again so soon. Eloise’s season was well underway but the dowager did not expect her headstrong and rebellious daughter to marry during her debut season as you did. “There is a certain technique.” She had said. “A man and woman must.. connect at their core.” You let her go at that point, not wanting her face to get anymore red than it was.

She could not have been more right. Though shreds of pleasure shot through you, your husband was unreasonably quick. An action you for a moment though would improve the experience. He had entered you slowly and seemed to start at a gentle pace, once you stretched to his length he did ‘duty as a husband’. He told you as much the next day when you’d went into his office. The whole ordeal left you feeling used. He made you feel as though nothing more than a vessel for bearing children. Days after that, he entered the room you both supposedly shared with a declaration. “As a Viscount, it is my duty to produce an heir for the bridgerton line.” His lips in a thin line as he began. “You very well know the process of that. We will need to perform this at least a few times over the course of months.”

Here you were months later, unhappy and alone. It wasn’t too early in the morning, in fact it was almost time for breakfast. You located your robe and wrapped it around your curved body, slipping on a pair of house shoes before heading to the dining hall. As always, Violet was the first at the table, sipping her tea quietly. “Good morning,” you croaked. The woman smiled softly at you. “Good morning my dear. How was your sleep.” You took the seat next to her, beginning to pour own tea. “Oh, the same as every night I suppose. Fine.” You stated as you stirred sugar into the tea. You felt her disappointed look on you. There was a rift between your husband and his mother because of you and you hated it. It was why you still spoke so highly about him to her despite last night’s argument in the carriage.

As if on cue, Benedict sauntered in shortly followed by Eloise and later Gregory and Hyacinth. The six of you engaged in light conversation while you ate. It simply had to be riveting because you did not notice The Viscount approach. “Brother!” Squealed Hyacinth and you turned your back to face him. “Busy morning, husband?”

“Quite. What’s for breakfast?”

“Oh, well—“

“So sorry to interrupt,” entered a servant by the name of Sophia. She made her way to you with a letter clutched in her hands. “A letter. For you, Viscountess.” You held her shaking hands in your own and took the letter gently. The Viscount watched as you easily calmed the girls nerves, only showing her kindness and understanding. He could not fathom why he could not remove his eyes from you. She gave you a thankful smile and you returned it twice fold. “Thank you, Sophia. You may go.” With that, she nodded to you and left as you broke the wax seal belonging to your family. “Well?” Gergory spoke up. He hadn’t even finished his plate. Reading over the parchment, your eyebrows rose. “Please do not tell us it is bad news.” Eloise said, slump in her chair. “No,” you reply. “Nothing of that sort. My father is coming to visit.”

To say the least your relationship with your father was as good as it could have been. He was of course a changed man after the death of your mother and he only jumped at the opportunity of you marrying a Viscount as means to your safe and secure future. He wanted what was best for you only…. he had a habit of pushing too hard. “How wonderful!” Violet beamed. “A guest.” Benedict’s eyes widened in realization. “He’ll come with us to the races then?” His brother scoffed at the question. “Of course he will.”

Right on time the next day your fathers carriage stopped in front of Brigerton house with crates of his things. “My girl!” He called out in his deep voice as he saw you. He seemed surprised which didn’t go unnoticed by you. “Hello father.” The two of you embraced and he pulled away to get a better look at you. “My daughter a Viscountess, I still do not believe it at times.” Your husband trailed after you. “And I sometimes cannot believe she has chosen to be my viscountess.” He said in a mock loving tone. You tried to keep your smile. “Ah, Lord Bridgerton.” Your husband nodded to the man. “Welcome, we’ve already prepared your room.” Your father slid his arm around yours as you climbed the stairs and entered the house. “You are happy, aren’t you, Y/N?” The question felt like a loaded one. You certainly could not tell him of how your marriage was going thus far. We’re you truly going to lie to your father? “Very much,” you heard yourself say. “The Viscount makes me very happy.”

The next few days passed in a blur. The races were tomorrow and you’d told Violet you would take Eloise and Hyacinth along with you to the modiste to get new dresses. You had just left the library. You’d been in there all morning scribbling away in a notebook only Benedict knew about. One filled with poetry. As of now, it reflected your loneliness, longing, regret and guilt. One more thing your husband did not know about you. “Ah, Y/N.” Your father called down the hall, his eyes inspecting you as he approached. “How are you feeling, daughter?” You raised a curious brow. “Perfectly fine.” A slight frown slipped onto his face. “I thought it would have happened by now.” He barely whispered. “What exactly did you think would happen?”

“My child, you have been married for months and still you are not with child.” Your breath caught in your throat. You tried not to take his words to heart. “I’m trying, Papa. We are trying.” Those words seemed like nothing and just as before your husband reared the corner. No sound for you to detect him. “You must know how it looks. The embarrassment.”

“Father!”

“You know your duties. Just try a bit harder.”

It took all the strength in you not to let tears fall. You fought them brutally. “Yes, of course. I will try harder.” Your father smiled and continued on his way. As did you, letting a few tears fall, thinking you were alone. “Y/N?” Called the voice of your husband from around the corner. “My Lord? You are not-“

“In my office? Yes, it appears I am not.” You shook your head, willing the tears to stop falling. “Are you alright?” He walked towards you, with what you considered false concern on his features. “Do not pretend to care.” You voice cracked as you spoke. The man frowned. “Perhaps I can?”

“Perhaps you can what? Ignore me like you do every day? Stay in your office all day into the night hours?? Stay awake so late you do not join me in or bed and awake so early that I do not have the opportunity to greet the man I married?” You snapped, tired of holding in your emotions today. “Do not waste your time on me, my lord. I know my duty as you yours.” You wiped your eyes free of tears before straightening out your dress and clearing your throat. “I must get Eloise and Hyacinth. The races are tomorrow, we shall all need new dresses.” You left your husband standing there with the same feeling he experienced at breakfast some days ago. A feeling he could not name. Only this time, it stung him. He stood for a few moments before continuing to his office where he picked up a bottle of brandy and poured himself a glass. What was happening?

[ineedmorefanfics2]

Twilight Masterlist

✧ One Shots

Summer Breeze - Embry Call X Fem!Reader

Embry is a personal heater, and Y/N uses that to her advantage.

I’m Sorry - Embry Call X Fem!Reader

Embry imprints on Y/N but doesn’t get the reaction he was hoping for.

Never Again - Embry Call X Fem!Reader

Embry hasn’t imprinted on his girlfriend Y/N and fears for their future.

Soft Lips - Embry Call X Fem!Reader

Embry imprinted on Y/N three months ago. Why is he holding back his feelings?

Issues - Paul Lahote X Fem!Cullen!Reader

Paul and Y/N talk about kids. It doesn’t go as expected.

Halloween Hangout - Paul Lahote X Fem!Cullen!Reader

Y/N helps her family and her boyfriend get into the Halloween spirit.

Missed You - Paul Lahote X Fem!Reader

Paul works later than expected.

In The Clouds - Paul Lahote X GN!Reader

Paul and Y/N decide to relax in the best way they know how. Smoking weed.

Outcasts - Paul Lahote X Male!Reader

Y/N deals with some homophobia from the pack.

Baby Fever - Paul Lahote X Fem!Reader

Y/N, a human with powers, argues with her boyfriend Paul after he sides with Sam about killing Renesmee.

Killing Me Softly - Paul Lahote X Fem!Reader

Paul questions his imprinting after his human imprint, Y/N, gets attacked by a vampire, venom already going to work when he reaches her.

Love Hurts - Paul Lahote X Fem!Reader

Paul’s anger gets in the way of date night.

My Bad - Jacob Black X Fem! Reader

Y/N, Jacob’s imprint, and Emily get into Paul’s “special” brownies while the pack is on patrol.

Innocent Moments - Seth Clearwater X Fem!Reader

Seth comes home late.

Hold Me - Rosalie Hale X Fem!Reader

Rosalie gets upset when her human mate gets hurt.

Danger - Edward Cullen X Male!Reader

Y/N, Paul’s cousin stumbles upon something he shouldn’t had seen in the woods.

Impossible - Esme X Carlisle X Fem!Reader

Y/N, a nomad vampire with extraordinary powers, makes the discovery that you can have more than one mate.

Spills And Corsets - Alec Volturi X Fem!Reader

After an accident that results in Y/N’s clothes getting ruined, she’s forced to wear a corset for the rest of the day.

✧ Series

Fate Is… - Paul Lahote X Fem!Reader (1) (2) (3) (4)

Paul imprinting on a Cullen? Let’s see how this plays out…

Expecting - Paul Lahote X Pregnant!Fem!Reader (1) (2)

What’s it like expecting when your family is a pack of shapeshifters? A whole lotta love.

✧ Drabbles

“What did you swallow?” - Rosalie Hale X Fem!Reader

“Oh, this will be fun!” - Seth Clearwater X Fem!Reader

“Did you buy me flowers?” - Leah Clearwater X Fem!Reader

I Don’t Wanna Be Your Friend - Leah Clearwater X Fem!Reader

Leah and Y/N discover Girl In Red.

Warm Bodies - Alice Cullen X Male!Reader

It’s cuddle time for Alice and her mate.

✧ Headcanons

Embry Call NSFW Alphabet

Paul Lahote NSFW Alphabet

Sam Uley NSFW Alphabet

Quil Ateara NSFW Alphabet

Jacob Black NSFW Alphabet

Leah Clearwater NSFW Alphabet

Seth Clearwater NSFW Alphabet

Jasper Hale NSFW Alphabet

Emmett Cullen NSFW Alphabet

[sohcah-toa]

my favourite writers reqs are opened again, i missed youuu!~ <3

this one might be a lil hard to write and you totally don't have to do this ofc. but i was interested in maybe seeing a camgirl/watcher type read. with childe being the one and only money man he is, he uses cam sites to get off once in a while and particularly finds the reader interesting. end up spending a lotta money on them for either a priv session or just to make reader do what he askes. obvi in the end they both get off so itd just be like a mutal masterbation type thing. anywAys, sorry for the weird req. ily ❤️

-yours truely, the local childe simp™

Mister Mora ✾

cw — nsfw, smut, childe x afab reader, camgirl/watcher (chats included for fun), dirty talk, cussing, slight degradation, minors dni

note — childe can take me home honestly i dont even need the mora ; guys fuck codename childe and tartaglia, it's mister mora now

note — idk much about camgirl/watcher things so sorry if there's going to be mistakes, peace

tip or donate at ko-fi | masterlist

"Hey, I reserved dinner reservations tomorrow, want to go?" Childe asked someone on the phone, smiling "Alright, see you tomorrow" he turned the phone off and opened his laptop.

He looked at the time. He went to the site, his favorite one, actually the only one nowadays. He used to splurge money on different women but once he saw you, your site, your face, your body. He was surprised, shaken to the core, he just couldn't get his eyes off of you. Since then, it became his hobby, to watch and pay you do stuff for him.

—

You waved hi to all your viewers. You've been continuously growing. Earning left and right, especially this mister mora guy, he gives so much money for such small things that it feels like your scamming him but hey, it's his choice.

Not a moment later, the show began, you started teasing "What do you want guys?" you talked in a low raspy sexy voice, your finger pointing at your red lips "Oh? Does definitely not kaeya want something?"

The chat started to get flooded by users, asking you to do stuff, paying you. Of course, mistermora did. You slowly stripped, took your shorts off, your shirt, if they'd all have microphones, you could hear them cheering and grunting already.

They were all your regular viewers. Among all of them, mistermora was the one who kept giving and giving even if you aren't doing anything that great.

You giggle and pull the strap of your bra, hitting your shoulders to tease them. You whole body can be seen on the screen so you slowly rub the top of your cleavage. Slowly saying "Do you guys want this?"

You caress your own breasts, letting them jiggle and bounce "Oh as you wish" slowly you start removing your bra. Very very slowly and softly, your nipples start to show.

You just know that the chat is going crazy by now, as they always do. You start rubbing your areolas, showing them in front of the camera. Pinching and fondling your own breasts while reading the chat has made you damp.

You moan and groan, just like what the people want, some are saying to moan their name so you do. Then they started paying, saying to take your underwear off. You turned around, showing them your ass first then slowly pulled your panties off. Just like that the chat went crazy again.

You feel satisfied with what you are doing, making them go nuts. You slap your own ass then turned to the camera. This time, your pussy is facing it.

—

After that session, mistermora messaged you. Out of all your regular viewers, he's the only one you reply to. You have no idea why but there's just something about him.

You start preparing. You have never really seen his face, only his awesome body and cock, you don't complain, you get off on it anyway, it feels like he's so hot so you wonder if he has a handsome face. You've never even heard his real voice.

You were excited, getting paid to masturbate with a hot guy? Score! Mister Mora has never done anything to make you feel uncomfy, but you feel comfortable with almost anything so it's just fair.

It was time to get to it so you got ready, wore Mister Mora's favorite lingerie tonight to make him go feral.

"Heey, Mister Mora" You smiled at the camera, once again your whole body was seen "You know I was looking forward for this the whole session earlier? I was waiting for our daily session"

Then he said "I was too" using the fake voice again "I appreciate you wearing my favorite lingerie"

"Of course, I remember you telling me" You try to be as seductive as possible, rubbing your waist. You were laying down on your side.

He moved closer to the camera, even more impossible to see his face now, or even a glimpse of his hair "You see this?" he asked, he pulled his erect cock out of his underwear and started stroking it "It's been like this since earlier but I couldn't do it without you seeing me, my precious little whore"

"Aw mister mora, the others are nothing, you're my favorite" you giggled, putting your hand inside your bra, fondling it "I want to hear your real voice" you moaned a little

His strokes become faster "M-Maybe, if you earn it" he grunted "Come closer to the camera" he ordered and you did. Your breasts were right in front of the camera.

"What now?" You were still fondling your own breasts, letting it jiggle and bounce a little "You want this?" you start teasing him, trying to remove your bra but midway you would stop.

"Shit" he grunted, he likes it when you tease him "Show me" he said "Take it all off. If I was there, I'd fucking strip you myself and eat you like dinner, pound your brains out, you whore"

You moaned while removing the lingerie "Oh mister mora, how I wish" you bit your lower lip "When will that happen already?"

Childe was doing everything he can to edge himself, even going slower just so he can enjoy the show. You start touching yourself, rubbing your own clit, legs spread so he can see it all. You rub your own nipples and moan like crazy.

"You're so sexy" he was breathing hard already, like he saw a prey, he wanted to ravish it "ghn, my fucking slut"

You keep moaning, feeling the pleasure "Mister m—mora, fuck me already" you felt so hot, staring at his massive erect cock on the screen "Eat my pussy p-please" you were a moaning mess, just for him

"Fuck" he muttered, "Finger yourself" he said "And go fast, I'm about to cum" pre cum was coming out of his dick already, he was feeling it, he was feeling his high.

You inserted two fingers inside of your hole "Shit, shit ngh fuck" you kept on cussing and moaning because you know he likes that "I want your cock mister mora" your head bent upwards with closed eyes, you were screaming and begging for his dick.

As you fingers go in and out of you, your thumb was on your clit, rubbing it in circles, rubbing it in any way you feel pleasure. You hear him grunt and breathe heavily which turns you on, plus his massive cock on the camera.

"Say that you're my slut" he grunted, his mind was blank, all of this was pure impulse "Say it, you bitch"

You licked your upper lip a little "I'm your slut" you cried out, feeling your climax "I-I'm about to cum, can I c-cum?" you asked

"You cum when I tell you" he said, the sound of your moaning on the screen, begging for his cock, touching yourself for him, asking him if you could cum, it all turns him on. You were perfect for him, you know what he wants.

You were so horny that all you wanted was to feel his dick. It's been a long time since you and him did this but he still wouldn't make a move to actually fuck you.

"I'm—I'm cumming" he grunted before letting himself cum "Oh shit, I just came, that felt so good" he tried to catch his breath, still watching you finger yourself.

Your legs shivered, feeling like you're about to climax. He said "That's it slut, go" he then chuckled and oh Lord, his chuckle was so fucking sexy "Don't cum yet" he took his phone and set it on camera mode "I want to capture you cum, spread your legs even more"

It was hard to do since you were about to cum but you tried your hardest to spread your legs "P-Please, I-I—'m cumming" you screamed and let yourself feel heaven. Then your slick flowed down on your fingers, you pulled it out and showed it to the camera.

"I didn't tell you to cum but I got this hot picture so I'm not going to punish you" he said, showing you the picture

You nod "Thank you mister mora"

—

It was the next day, you have some plans with your friend so you start getting ready. You see mister mora's favorite lingerie and toss it in the laundry "Can't wait for later"

A few hours later, you were with your friend at this fancy restaurant "Childe, what the heck? This place is F A N C Y, how did you afford this? Wait, did you take me so I can pay?"

He chuckled, his chuckle seems familiar "No no, I'll pay, you can pay next time"

"You sure you can afford this? I have money, you know" you slap his shoulder playfully. He's been your friend ever since you were a kid, you know each other, inside and out, well he certainly knows more.

He looked at you "Hmm, sure you do" he answered, grabbing the menu and looking at all the food

"Shut up, if you're going to pay then I'll order a lot, you loser" you laugh and start scanning the menu "Is this a date? I knew you were inlove with me" you laugh. You always joke like this with him, he never really had a girlfriend before.

"Whatever you say idiot" he said, calling the waiter. He looks at you, wondering if you have the slightest hint of what's happening.

End

[satoruswifeyyy]

BE MY HOME

Type: one-shot

Fic: Tooru Oikawa x gn!reader

Warnings: angst, fluff and a whole lotta love &lt;3

Note: another lovely fic written by @biancablack2474 ! She put so much effort in this this so consider following my bestie <3 otherwise enjoy!!

He never expected to see her there.

Oikawa was in a good place, or so he forced himself to think. Being a setter for an international team was an amazing feat. He had convinced himself time and time again.

At first it didn’t need much effort. It was a new place, a fresh beginning. No one could bring him down. But as time went on, he started to question himself….. was it really worth it? He had left everything he knew and loved to be here. Every person!

And he missed it all. So when he found out he was going back to Japan for a practice tournament, he cried. He was embarrassed to admit it because of his pride, after all, he was the one who left.

(Y/n/). His home. His “ex”. He wanted to see you again but he wasn’t sure how you would react. He had minimal contact with you, or rather he slowly stopped talking to you because of his “busy schedule”. The truth however, was that he missed you the most and every time he saw your texts his heart clenched, an expression he never thought he would use.

Stepping out of the plane, he breathed in the fresh air of Japan and smiled a nostalgic smile. His feet followed his team but his mind wandered everywhere else.

Memories of you and the rest of his high school life flooded his brain.

His daze seemed never ending as he woke up the next day and drank up Tokyo city. That was until he dashed into someone as soon as he entered the venue.

“Ouch!” The figure raised a hand to rub their head, “strong chest Mr……….Tooru?”

Oikawa’s eyes widened in shock, “I— (Y/n/n— (Y/n)?” “Gosh, I don’t know why I’m so surprised, I was hopin— uh, I mean, expecting to see you here,” a light blush dusted your cheeks. As bold as you were, you always got embarrassed rather quickly. Always the contrary with you, Oikawa thought chuckling.

“I was hoping to see you too, (Y/n/n)chan” he flashed his smile but it was different from what was his usual flirty one. His ears were red and he was nervous not knowing what would happen next.

A beeping sound broke both of them out of their bubble. It was your watch. “Oh sh— I have to go, I’m sorry! Good luck for your first match!” “ Wait!” Oikawa instinctively reached out and caught your hand,”Let’s meet at the end of today.”

You, although a bit shocked at first, slowly smiled and nodded before running off. Oikawa covered his face with his hands, now totally embarrassed. “I can be such a fool.” He murmured to himself.

*********timeskip brought to you by drunk Oikawa saying Iwa~chaaan*********

It had been a week since the tournament started and thankfully Oikawa and his team were staying for a whole month. Although the tournament was only for two weeks, it was still a good opportunity for a team trip.

And Oikawa, well, he didn’t want to leave yet. You and him had spent everyday after the matches together, visiting both places you knew and new ones that had popped up.

You fell back into your old ways pretty quickly. Not much awkwardness and a whole lot of flirting. You were different but somehow still the same around each other.

Since it had been a while, the both of you decided to go out drinking together. Just the two of you. You always had a higher tolerance so it wasn’t a surprise when Oikawa was the one getting buzzed first. You spoke about quite a range of topics. From good international job, to how your job would let you live anywhere after the tournament.

“Live anywhere?” Oikawa asked, a bit confused. “Yeah, my job requires that I do a lot of paperwork for organisers. Since I needn’t be there in person, usually, they can just contact me and I can do it online. This tournament is like my pass.” “That’s so cool,” Oikawa said, the gears in his brain turning

You still hadn’t had much to drink but it had been enough for Oikawa to want to talk about his feelings. “I’m sorry,” he blurted out in the middle of talking about his routine in the Argentinian Team.

“For what?” You asked, a bit confused. You weren’t nearly as drunk as him, only a bit tipsy. “For leaving you,” he said, tears slowly escaping his eyes. “For not putting in the effort to stay in touch…. I thought that if I kept my distance, I could move on or get over you but even when I tried to cut you off I just came running back the moment I saw a notification.”

“I thought you must hate me for leaving but you were too nice to tell me. I know you weren’t happy with it but when you asked me to go, I thought I would disappoint you if I didn’t!” At this point, the only difference between his crying and bawling was the lack of agonising screams.

He slumped against the table at the end of his sentence, soft snores and the occasional sniffles coming from him. You hadn’t realised you were crying until a tear fell on your cheek. You quickly sniffed and rubbed your eyes free of them. You did remember how neither of you wanted to part ways but you were afraid that he would hate you if you asked him to stay.

You didn’t think he felt as strongly for you as you did for him. You also didn’t think he would remember what he said to you. A few minutes of thinking later you move closer and brushed the hair out of his forehead to kiss there. “I missed you too, Tooru.”

A drunk cab hailing, cab ride and a good night’s sleep for the both of you (separately) later, you met him again. Tooru was so obviously hung over that you didn’t want to bring up the topic of his drunken apology. When he asked, you shrugged it off like nothing happened and continued on together.

Time soon passed and it was the last day of the tournament. Everyday you had tried to talk to him but you always came up with an excuse not to and so you were being eaten by it from the inside.

Once the tournament was done, you both took a stroll down a bridge and stopped at the highest point. Looking all around Oikawa stated, “It was a fun tournament, but it’s over now. So that means, I can spend more time with you!”

“And then what?” You blurted out. “What do you mean?” Oikawa scrunched up his face. Tears start welling up in your eyes and now that you’ve started, you can’t stop.

Words spill out of your mouth like running water. You tell him everything. Starting from how you felt when he told you he was offered the position right till when you saw him again.

You told him how you felt like you had no choice when all you wanted was him and his happiness and now you couldn’t hold back anymore. “I LOVE YOU OIKAWA TOORU!” You screamed through your tears. “And I don’t care i—“ He pulled you into a hug, burying his face in your hair.

“I love you too (Y/n) (l/n),” he whispered in your ear. “And I don’t want to let you go again.”

“I don’t want to let you go either…” “Let’s just live in the moment tonight, we’ll figure this out,” Oikawa comforted you, patting your back. You end up walking hand in hand back to your place, only breaking the silence when you needed to.

The moment the both of you entered your house, he stopped you. Pulling you closer to him, his hand slid up yours to cup your cheek. His other hand still clasped yours, taking a literal sense in never wanting to let go.

You reached out your free hand to place it on his waist, stepping closer to him and leaving no room between the two of you. Eyes closed and breath synced, the only thing on your mind at that moment was him. His lips on yours was the only thing you could imagine…. And then it was reality.

You shared a soft, tender kiss, both afraid that this was a dream. That the other will disappear. You pulled apart but for a moment to catch your breath and drink in the other’s presence before diving in again. Now hungry for each other and afraid to let go, your kiss turns passionate.

Clothes slowly falling to the floor, small stumbling steps to the bedroom, he fell on top of you on the bed. The man you loved had the audacity to chuckle and said, “I guess I fell for you all over again.”

But you loved him for exactly that so you just sighed and said, “I missed you…. So much.” “Me too, my love,” he kissed your forehead and trailed kisses lower. That night you barely slept. All the both of you wanted was to make up for lost time and at the same time, make this time your own.

You didn’t pull away from each other until the next morning, when you had woken up to go to the bathroom and you saw Oikawa still next to you. You smile and brush his hair back, placing a kiss on his forehead before getting up.

You spent the next week doing all the cheesy couple things you could do. Oikawa being Oikawa, didn’t want to miss any opportunity to kiss you or make you flustered. You being you, didn’t miss any opportunity to tease and irk him into pouting.

You spent the entire week in ignorant bliss but nothing lasts forever. Surprisingly it was Oikawa who brought up the topic during a picnic date. You had just finished eating when he turned to you, placed his plate down and said, “My trip ends next week.” You sighed, “I know Tooru.”

“Well I was thinking, you remember how you told me that you’re free to live anywhere?” “You? thinking?” You said, unironically. “Oh haha, anyways, I just moved out of the dorms in Argentina… and I think the house is too big for just one person.”

“So get a roommate.” You stated, blankly. You knew where he was possibly going with this but you didn’t know what to say. “(Y/nnnn) do you really not know where I’m going with this,” he whined. “You want me to move in with you…….In Argentina,” You rubbed both your hands over your face. “Tooru……”

“You’re not sure..” He knew what he was asking a lot. It was hard for him too but for a moment he had hopes that things would be better. He wouldn’t be homesick if his home was with him. You nodded, “I’ll have to think about it.”

“Well, just in case you’re ready to,” he handed you a key with a circle volleyball keychain on it. It was the keychain you gifted to him in high school because you couldn’t attend one of his matches. “It’s my house key. The address is in the keychain. I want you to keep it”

He smiled and got up, dusting his pants. Then he lifted you up. He failed to notice the tears you wiped away while packing up your things. You smiled and took his hand leading him home.

That night you hung the key on the key cabinet along with the rest of yours and stared at it. It fit right in. You realised why he didn’t think it was hard to ask you to move there with him. Normally you would’ve fought asking him to move here instead but the two problems were that he probably would do it and that you were the one who asked him to go there.

It wasn’t surprising that he asked you now because he always loved you and this relationship was not new. It was home. It was comfortable. It was like a bed full of feathery pillows that you didn’t want to wake up from.

That’s when you made the decision you never thought you would make. You woke up Oikawa and said with so much conviction that he had to confirm three more times and also check if you were drunk. “Tooru, I’m moving in with you!”

*********timeskip pt.2 brought to you by Bedkawa (Bed+Oikawa)*********

Moving in with Oikawa was the best decision you ever made. Sure it was hard to get used to it but it was definitely worth it. Argentina was nice and both your jobs were going well. You even managed to formulate the perfect schedule to spend tons of time together going on dates and such while never missing out on work or other such outings.

Many people had already commented that we were like a married couple before you got married. So you figured why not.

As it so happened, Oikawa thought the same and both of you bought rings to propose at the same time. Coincidentally you met at the shop and realised that at this point, you might as well do that together too.

Getting married in Japan was your idea, although it was pretty obvious since that was where everyone could make it the easiest. But a spring wedding surrounded by Cherry Blossoms was Oikawa’s idea.

Standing at the altar, listening to Oikawa’s very Oikawa like vow, you were struck with how lucky you were that he was your home. Little did you know that Oikawa thought the same…. That is until he ended his vow by saying,

“Thank you (Y/N), for being my home.”