#he was sympathetic but never made any effort to try to become better

[iamdeltas]

I think the closest any of the "omg they killed off the bad guy how REVOLUTIONARY!!!!!!!" celebrations has ever come to having an actual point is after Infinity Train Book 3. Because it's not remotely revolutionary to have an Unsympathetic Bad Guy get their comeuppance in the end--even shows that redeem some antagonists usually still have one Irredeemable Big Bad in the end--but what DOESN'T happen a whole bunch is having a bad guy with a very sympathetic backstory end up getting worse and get defeated/killed off in the end. It's not remotely surprising to have people like Horde Prime, who's nothing but narcissistic, controlling, and evil, or Belos, who only got less sympathetic the more we learned of his backstory, get killed off. But Simon is a sympathetic figure and we get to see what drove him to making the choices he made. Plus he was IIRC initially just following Grace's decisions. But as Grace started changing her ways, challenging her notions about "nulls" and working to become better, Simon doubled down, got worse, and ultimately died because of it. That's legitimately quite different from what we normally see.

I mean, it doesn't make the subsequent Steven Universe bashing any less annoying, but it is at least slightly revolutionary of an ending for a sympathetic villain.

[iratusmus]

so bizarre to me when people give fiona a redemption arc like making her evil wasnt literally like the fundamental core of making her an actually interesting character. like . ok actually i was mostly planning on just leaving the post as this but im going to make a proper post whining about this because ive seen it far too often for my liking.

it appears to me that a lot of people do this because they dislike fiona/scourge which is like. sure i get it. but you could literally just... break them up . and have her continue being awful on her own. like scourge is not the reason she switched sides and i find the idea. 1) a bit misogynistic frankly but thats more of a personal gripe than anything else like god forbid a woman make bad choices of her own volition and not because a man forced her hand into doing it (YES i am aware that abuse makes this more complicated than that but also we .... already have a relationship in archie sonic that fits this exact bill. yes it wasnt written well but the wonder of fan works is that you can always make it better. so why are we repeating it again 1:1) and 2) demeaning to the point of her character.

like. ok. lets go over the facts real quick. as a kid fiona got put in robotnik's salt mines and got accidentally left behind bc sonic & co couldnt find her. she realized that nobody was going make the effort to go save her, so she dug herself out and started life on the run as a treasure hunter/thief. she didnt ever really accept the fact that sonic and mighty not saving her wasnt really their fault, and even after becoming a freedom fighter, nobody ever said anything or apologized or said "hey wow that kind of sucks you went through all that". she never really made any actual friends within the ff or formed any meaningful bonds. she starts dating sonic, but its pretty clear that the only reason they're dating is that she's his rebound post The Slap. the moment her history with bean & bark came up - after she used that knowledge to save everybody - sally immediately turns on her and sonic is the only person to try to stick up for her. as bark and bean leave, bean also insinuates that fiona isnt really a freedom fighter, and that she's still basically one of them.

fiona is a "bad" trauma survivor. when i say "bad" i mean in opposition to the ideal tumblr trauma survivor - the sad poor uwu bean whose trauma only inclines them hurt themselves and they become more sympathetic kind etc. as a result. fiona, on the other hand, blames sonic (whose fault this is, frankly, not) for her experiences, and becomes more jaded and mean. she has no real support system and people repeatedly tell her that she hasnt changed and that she wont change and she cant change. shes already got all this baggage by the time her relationship with scourge starts carrying actual weight - he's offering her a way out. if none of them are ever going to really accept her being "good", then she might as well just give into her worst impulses and join hands with scourge, who, notably, has no stake in this - he doesnt have any obligation to be her friend like the freedom fighters, and more than that he likes her specifically because of the part of her that everybody else hates. the important part here is that he encouraged her to switch sides, he didnt make her switch sides.

id say fiona's character in a writing sense is an exploration of the failings of the freedom fighters to support a trauma victim, and how those failings, while unintentional, lead that victim to specifically turn against them. she says "ok actually screw all of you guys" and gives up on trying to be good because nobody ever gave her any real encouragement and decides to put herself on a path of self-destructive revenge and inflicting her misery onto the general population. we can also recall at this point that this motivation is entirely removed from scourge and you can literally break them up and still keep her evil.

the other important point here is that she purposefully chose that path of turning evil as opposed to leaving the freedom fighters or going somewhere else or like literally doing anything else. she literally could have just left but she did not and thats what makes her Interesting. prompted by her unhealed trauma and personal baggage she made those bad choices for herself, and frankly i cannot for the life of me understand why people think that walking back that character development (and yes i mean character development. character development can also mean getting worse) for ..... what. snarky but with a heart of gold generic protagonist girl? come on guys

[toxooz]

What are some of your characters negative traits? Idk if you’d want to answer that, but I think it adds so much depth to the characters and makes them more fleshed out

ooOOO YES INTRIGUING so I'll just do a few of the more notable/ harder to catch ones bc yall already know mfs like Zortzi are nothing but negative traits lmfao and also a majority of these are worked on/ addressed as the comic will go on so:

Ollie is a lot harsher on Remy than the rest of the squad, mainly because he raised him a good bit, they're related, and Ollie always had to be Remy's keeper but as they get older it gets a little more complex and low key genuinely affects Remy at times and is a contributor to What Eventually Happens in the comic. It's a mixture between Ollie's "you were raised better than that and know better" mindset and his set expectations on Remy that he subconsciously harbors so he can get a little ruthless when it comes to Remy. Ollie also dealt with expectation issues when it came to Ponti first joining the squad. Ollie would deliberately keep him at arms length in expectation that he would turn on them so he kept a guard up that blinded him of any genuine effort Ponti made to be a better person because it wasn't good enough for Ollie. Despite Ponti actually making an effort to change for the better, Ollie never acknowledged the efforts or dismissed them in the name of "he's just pretending to be good so he can turn on us" and also just his relentless push of "that's not a good enough deed to make up for what you've done". Perhaps he deliberately held such impossible expectations for Ponti out of bitterness and spite because he knew Ponti wouldn't be able to meet them and fail so Ollie could have a sense of I Knew It whenever he did fail and to have a good reason to kick him out -to make Ponti become frustrated and to feel defeated as a way to take his anger and resentment out on him and to “ pay” for what he did. It was only when Ollie realized his mindsets he had for Ponti were setting both of them up for failure and decided that Ponti’s own personal redemption wasn’t based on his own expectations. They were finally able to open up to each other and connect when Ollie was like “ It is not up to me to measure you’re own personal growth, that is for only you to decide. I can only be there for you and try to help you throughout your change”. When Ollie saw Ponti in a different light of someone who is genuinely trying to right his wrongs in any way possible rather than a rat who still had evil intentions, he was able to be sympathetic and softer towards him. Which surprise! Was actually very fruitful for both of them. Ollie is (mainly subconsciously) resentful toward his mother for how he had to leave their tribe and how she couldn’t come with them and Ollie ending up living with Remy’s mom which caused a bunch of problems but yeah he never really addresses it to himself or even realizes but boi it’s there now imma stop on him cause i gotta talk abt other OCs but lORD hes got a lot 

Remy is very judgmental and tends to be a hypocrite in most cases. It’s dangerously easy for him to catch onto something he doesn’t like about someone and to let it fester in him until he full on dislikes said person hence why he can be so snarky with literally everyone. He can shut down easily and it’s difficult to get him out of his sulky funk which can make him tedious to hang out with sometimes (at least he thinks so, and referring to Ollie’s section im sure Ollie has gotten fed up with it and said some things he didn’t mean sometimes) He’s also deliberately mean and keeps people at a distance as a defense mechanism to prevent anyone from getting too close to him since he’s cripplingly terrified of vulnerability and getting attached to anyone and anything due to his childhood. From never really being included in the tribe in the first place and spending most of his days in a chicken coop ( when Ollie wasn’t dragging him out to explore or hunt) to the way they had to abruptly leave everyone and everything behind, he is left with a mentality that he is better off alone to keep from ‘feeling too much’ so in his mind if he’s mean to everyone they wont want to get to know him therefore ensuring his emotional safety. luckily Oscar is too stupid to get it :’) Im sure when Ollie got Remy his chicken for his bday Remy instinctively got mad at him bc he Really didn’t want to get attached to Caramel but spoiler alert he’s obsessed with them chickens now 

Kari is very socially skittish as in she needs a lot of reassurance if she’s invited anywhere. If she so much as picks up on any subtle body language or tone that someone might potentially not want her to come with she will not go at all and if she’s at an event and she gets the slightest impression that nobody really wants her there she will up and leave as well. Even if there is no actual indication that somebody doesn’t want her there and everyone is really just vibing she’ll still leave over the assumption. With the squad she’s mostly gotten over that habit but even then there may be some times where someone in the squad doesn’t sound as enthusiastic as they normally do and she will instantly jump to “o they’d rather me jump in the ocean with 1 ton of weights than hang out with me another second :’3c”  she is also terrified of confrontation so you’ll never really know when she’s gone or not. I’m sure she unknowingly stood Ollie up a couple times when they first started hanging out bc he’s so naturally monotone she probably assumed he thought she was annoying as hell sOOO many times 😭 but in reality Ollie would be big sad and alone waitin for her. Now if they were to meet up he will go to her house(or his house since she p much lives there mostly)  and be with her a lil bit while she gets ready so she doesn’t have to deal with the anxiety of meeting up but it’s still difficult to keep her around at events and hangouts due to her Backstory™  

Abio likes to know just about everything for knowledge sake but that also drives to him to be nosey at times and can stunt himself from overthinking in most cases. He may go down some rabbit holes bc he Has To Know for instance when he and Ponti were first getting acquainted, Abio could not understand why Ponti behaved the way he did and low key wanted to know more about his backstory. He wasn’t going to outright ask about it of course but it was a nagging thought and when Wig inevitably was introduced to Abby, having the utmost knowledge about Ponti’s life, Abby’s curiosity got the best of him and he found out Way Too Much about Ponti than he was ready to handle which caused them to have a little distant era since Abby was terrified of Ponti for a good while after that. That being said Abby intruded on Ponti’s life against his knowing which resulted in Ponti having to bring up parts of his life that he definitely was not ready to tell Abby yet. Also the whole thing with Abby trying to write down eeeverything he learns about skateboarding so much so that he ends up getting stuck and freezes up when he’s actually trying to skateboard bc he’s trying to remember everything he’s written down plUS with his eye powers and his ability to get into someones head, he has gone down some mental roads that he definitely should not have solely because he wants to know more. It’s like trying to play minecraft “for 10 minutes” and accidentally playing for 3 hours bc of all the rabbit trails that’s how it is for Abby when he’s in someones brain like im sure he’s Literally traumatized from the memories that he accidentally saw while in Ponti’s head so it took him a great amount of self control to be able to get in someones head and not wander 

AIGHT  thats all the ones ill do to keep it from getting too long idk if theres any specific character lemme know 😭

[raifenlf]

Why Loki’s Sylvie Is A Mary Sue

So I am firmly in the camp that Sylvie on the Loki series was/is a Mary Sue.  The last episode made me feel better and like maybe the show was doing a thing where they were faking you out that she was a Mary Sue only to show she was actually sort of a bad guy and I liked that.  But all the recent interviews make me think the show wants to go back to her being a Mary Sue.

But I feel like when I call her out for being a Mary Sue people tell me what are you talking about, she’s not a Mary Sue, bad things happen to her, etc.  But that doesn’t actually make her not a Mary Sue.  

Also, before we start, I know some people find Mary Sue sexist.  But I personally use the term for guys and girls. I don’t use the term to belittle women.  I use the term to criticize a poorly written character.

And I know Mary Sue is often used to describe fanfic characters.  But to me, this series is kind of like a fanfic because the writers took a character who had been in canon MCU material for ten years and then created characters around that character.  So, I kind of review it like I would a fanfic.  It’s very different than if the writers had created a brand new show with all of their own new characters.

Anyway, if you are not totally familiar with the Mary Sue term, then check this out:

I know the term Mary Sue probably means different things to different people.  But I have always used these guidelines when I write my own fanfic to make sure my characters never come off as a Mary Sue.

This article really gives you a full scale of what a Mary Sue is.  If you start reading it, you’ll immediately see why Sylvie is.  But I’m going to take out the parts that most fit Sylvie just to highlight why I believe she is a Mary Sue.  I apologize for this being so long.

Mary Sue Character Traits

Personality

Erm... what personality? The typical Mary Sue doesn't have one per se, because she isn't meant to be a character; rather, she's an entity by which the author makes cool stuff happen.

I feel like that is Sylvie in a nutshell.  She doesn’t have a personality.  I feel like even though she ate screentime, I still don’t really know her at all.  The writers love to say she’s badass.  That’s not a personality.  

Sometimes when I am writing stories for fun and creating new characters, I like to take surveys as my fictional characters.  Like the kind of surveys you’d see in a magazine, like personality types, what’s your dating style, etc.  I figure if I don’t know what my character would do in any of those situations, then I need to keep working on my character.  And if I was trying to fill out a survey pretending I was Sylvie I would have no idea what to answer because she doesn’t have a personality.  She’s just “cool”.

What little personality a Mary Sue has isn't as important as how other characters react to it. No matter how shy or socially awkward Mary Sue is supposed to be, other characters will be inexplicably drawn to her

This is so Sylvie.  Loki falls in love with her...why, exactly?  He falls in love with her in the big Nexus event moment...why?  Because she had a tough childhood?  Mobius spends like two seconds with her in a car and goes from hating her to saying she’s his favorite Loki.  For. No. Particular. Reason.

She's extremely persuasive; everyone finds her opinions to be better than their own

She enchants Hunter B-15 and then immediately Hunter B-15 makes it her whole entire life mission to back Sylvie up.  

And occasionally she'll be a complete asshole...This can manifest itself in several ways...The author wants to write a badass but doesn't know how. This leads to a character who mistreats everyone around her and is never called out on her abrasive, casually abusive behavior.

Sylvie talked down to Loki and treated him like garbage for all of episode three, but it was never portrayed as a bad thing and we never got any impression Sylvie later felt bad for the way she treated Loki

The author doesn't know how to hold back the character, meaning that she will succeed at practically everything. This means that when she encounters rules or authority figures who would otherwise prevent her from doing what she wants to do, she rolls right through them (and they praise her for her "boldness" in defying regulations). If a bad guy is violent and aggressive, she can beat him by being more violent and aggressive (with all that entails). It's impossible for her to go overboard because she's protected by Protagonist-Centered Morality.

Sylvie is shown as a kid to immediately be able to grab a Tempad and run away.  And she can kick ass way better than Loki, for no known reason.  She is always able to fight back against the TVA when they attack her.  And she can kill lots of innocent TVA agents but it’s okay because TVA bad, Sylvie good.

Skills

She will always be superior to the canon characters, regardless of what canon has established they can do or whether it makes any sense.

Whose skill was needed to defeat Alioth?  Sylvie’s.  Of course.  Sylvie needed to teach Loki her skills in order for him to succeed (!).  And again, she is literally called the superior Loki.

Relatedly, there's no effort to her skills. She never actually trains or learns anything to become more powerful; she just wins the Super Power Lottery, or is a freakish natural learner, or is just Inexplicably Awesome

We’re told Sylvie literally taught herself magic.  She literally taught herself to enchant people.  That. Makes. No. Sense.  Like, I have so many questions.  Like, why would it even occur to her to teach herself that?  And how????????????  This is really lazy writing.

Canon Character Relationships

Mary Sue is often designed to hook up with another character, often as a form of Wish Fulfillment. This isn't that bad in and of itself (okay, it is kinda weird), but Mary Sue accomplishes this without any sense of realism. She just grabs her lover's attention straight away, and their relationship will never face any obstacles or tension; it's true love from the start and nothing else. The biggest giveaway is if the love interest is explicitly the author's favorite character, and she essentially "cures" him of all the angst that ails him (at the expense of his characterization).

Yeah, so...this one should be pretty obvious to anyone who watched the show.  Loki literally falls in love with Sylvie immediately, and then he suddenly turns from “villain” to “hero” just because of loving her.  And this was definitely at the expense of his characterization.  And Loki just knows he falls in love with her.  There’s not even any moments of hmm what do I feel for this person?  It’s just true love, immediately.

She will be related to a canon character in some way. This (marginally) helps explain such phenomena as her being a Copy Cat Sue and other characters accepting her so easily.

Sylvie is a Loki variant.  They use this to help explain why Loki is drawn to her and why their falling in love immediately “makes sense”.

Most characters give her more heed than they normally would. The good guys never stop praising her

Seriously, it was so over the top and OOC for Loki to gush over her.  He literally tells her she’s amazing.  They don’t even make it subtle.

Characters' previously established personalities change in reaction to her. Proud, arrogant gimps suddenly acknowledge her superiority in everything. Reckless youths will listen to all her advice. Responsible leaders will defer to her instead. Villains will obsess with her to the detriment of all else. Extremely competent characters will become stumbling buffoons who require her help to do anything. Sweet, mild-mannered characters whom the author doesn't like turn evil and insult her. They all become unnaturally focused on her in some way.

Again, Loki’s whole personality changed in reaction to her.  He became a buffoon who needed her help to enchant the Alioth because of course he couldn’t do anything without her!  Hunter B-15 goes from doing whatever the TVA said to fighting the TVA just because of Sylvie.

Story Elements

Mary Sue is without exception a single-person Spotlight-Stealing Squad. The entire story hinges on her existence; if you removed her, there would be no story. 

Sylvie undoubtedly drove the whole story this season.  It all became about HER meeting the TVA heads because of HER trauma.  Loki’s life was only saved at the beginning because the TVA was trying to capture HER.  And SHE was the one who started the whole multiverse (!).

Mary Sue is The Chosen One, even if the setting already has one. There are many ways she can accomplish this: she can be a Sailor Earth type who "shares" the position with the canon hero; she may be vaguely "destined to help the destined one fulfill their destiny" (i.e. do all the work except the final blow so that the prophecy is still technically correct); or the canon hero may be revealed to be a Fake Ultimate Hero all along. Being the Chosen One doesn't necessarily involve her being a God-Mode Sue, especially as authors become aware of the phenomenon and try to avoid it, but it does make her critically important to the world and allows her to continue stealing the spotlight without the "god mode" label.

HWR wanted Sylvie to come with Loki in the end, like she was chosen all along right alongside Loki.  Like one of the most important characters in the entire MCU is now this character who we only met a few episodes ago.

Most Sues have an unusually Dark and Troubled Past. It's often used to create a Sympathetic Sue, but any type of Sue can have one

They tell us, over and over, how hard Sylvie’s life was because she was kidnapped by the TVA in order to create sympathy for her.

She almost never does anything wrong. In the rare instance that she does, it's usually; (a) a way for the author to disclaim her being a Mary Sue by introducing a single imperfection (that has no bearing on anything anyway), and (b) designed to show her smarts by making her feel instant remorse, and she'll be Easily Forgiven anyway:

So this one hopefully will not come true, as a lot can change between now and when the show is taped. But if the show goes on the way the behind the scenes team is talking, Sylvie immediately felt remorse for betraying Loki, and Loki has already forgiven her and is desperately looking for her.  Ugh.

Alternatively, she is more than capable of doing something wrong, be it in general moral terms or something that goes against whatever code she abides by, and she maybe even frequently does so, but don't expect the other characters or the narrative to ever acknowledge or comment on it in any real capacity. If the other characters do call her out, expect them to be treated like they're the problem for daring to criticize her at all.

Mobius calls her out for killing people, but Sylvie immediately says he’s a bad person and then Mobius agrees, because, of course.

She will often suffer from Special Snowflake Syndrome; i.e., she has a trait or backstory that sets her apart from her group or race.

She is the only female Loki, thus making her the special one among all the Lokis in episode five.

Presentation

In visual media, the camera just can't stop staring at her.

The camera would follow her in fight scenes rather than Loki.

Mary Sue Tropes

Okay, so there are specific Mary Sue tropes that Sylvie is.  One of those is Copy Cat Sue, which I think was referenced before.

Copy Cat Sue

A lot of fanfic writers...start to write something because of their passion for this character, but they find something about the character that doesn't mesh well. Maybe they're the wrong gender or are otherwise not close enough to the author's expectations...In any case, rather than put them through the Possession Sue process, they just get a Clone-O-Matic™ and out pops a Copy Cat Sue...the character might be intended as a replacement for the canon character, but without whatever icky traits the author hates. They'll then rob the spotlight, prove the canon character to be unworthy of his/her position, and either relegate the character to obsolescence or, perhaps, even remove them entirely.

Sylvie is basically a clone of Loki, she is a variant.  But she absolutely robbed the spotlight of Loki’s, and they literally call her the superior Loki.  I mean, they are literally not even being subtle about this.  And there was a feeling by myself (and a lot of other viewers) that Sylvie might ultimately replace Loki in the MCU. 

Black Hole Sue

Much like a black hole, this is a Mary Sue who "sucks in" the plot and characters to her. Characters will behave outside their personalities, logic will be defied, and rules will be broken for her sake.

Sylvie really does suck up all the plot and Loki definitely behaves outside of his personality just to fit the Sylvie show.

Jerk Sue

A Mary Sue who is mean or maybe even cruel, but are still treated as an ideal person.

Once again, Sylvie is basically a jerk all of episode three, but you’ve got Loki falling over himself to call her amazing in just the next episode.

Relationship Sue

A Mary Sue who exists to be the perfect mate for a specific character...this character has everything in the plot conspiring to enforce this One True Pairing...in Fanfiction, they are the perfect beloved of a canon character.

They literally have Mobius speculate that Loki falling in love with Sylvie is so extraordinary that it causes an entire Nexus event, that’s how huge this One True Pairing is (!).  And Sylvie is the love interest of Loki, the only character who had been around before the beginning of the series

TLDR: Sylvie has all the tropes of a classic Mary Sue character.  So calling Sylvie a Mary Sue isn’t being sexist or just randomly hating on the character.  If you use common Mary Sue characteristics to examine the character, she just has too many of these characteristics to ignore.

[slasherhaven]

Bo Sinclair X Reader

Part 1, Part 2

I've been enjoying some Soft!Bo recently, so here's some more!

Soulmate AU: shared pain and shared scars part 3:

Time passed since you first stepped into Ambrose, only a few weeks since you ended up meeting your soulmate in the most unlikely place and getting stranded in the small town. You told yourself you were stranded, tried to convince yourself of that, but it wasn't completely true. Now you thought that even if you got the chance to escape, you wouldn't. You wouldn't leave and if you did...you would probably end up being drawn right back to Ambrose.

Weeks passed. You mourned. You still found yourself saddened by Carly's death, but you had come to terms with everything that had happened. Bo had, in an act of kindness you supposed, demanded that Vincent didn't use any member of your group to create new wax figures. You were supposed to be at home in this town, you didn't need a constant morbid reminder of your past.

Of a night, you had been staying in Bo's room while he slept on the couch. Surprisingly, he had insisted on it. Despite you being his soulmate and practically being destined forgive him, he supposed he should try to make it easier for you. He just hoped it wouldn't take too much longer, the couch wasn't as comfortable as his bed.

The events from your arrival had settled and the town seemed to fall into it's more day to day routine. You had gotten to know Vincent and Lester a little better, but you found yourself more comfortable around Bo, which made sense even if it wasn't logical to an outsider.

Despite spending more time around Bo than the other brothers, you surprisingly didn't talk much. Neither of you really knowing what to say. You wanted to be around him instinctively but didn't know what to say to the man who killed your friends, or even if you wanted to say anything at all.

Today went by as usual, you spending the day down in the garage with Bo, eating lunch and dinner with him, and awkwardly sitting on the couch in front of the brother's little television. Sitting on opposite ends of the couch, occasionally risking glances at him.

You had excused yourself and gone up to bed, changing into one of Bo's tee-shirts. You didn't exactly have a wide selection of clothes just yet but did you have other options of sleepwear? Yes, you did. Still, you chose to wear Bo's tee-shirt. You found it comforting.

Unsurprisingly, you hadn't been sleeping well. It took a few nights for you to get a good few hours of sleep but you were sure that your sleeping had actually become more disturbed than it had been. The bed was comfortable, and smelled of Bo, but you still found yourself tossing and turning, feeling like something was missing.

It was something you had been debating for the last few nights but always talked yourself out of it. Tonight though...you had decided to take the risk. You knew you would end up doing it eventually anyway.

Pushing back the sheets, you climbed off of the bed and exited the bedroom.

When you had arrived, the house had been untidy but you had fixed that during your stay. You had to fill your time with something and it helped make you feel more comfortable. So, now, you didn't feel too worried about walking around barefoot.

You made your way down the stairs and quietly into the living room. Bo mustn't have heard you since he was still sitting with his feet up on the coffee table, eyes on the television, with his temporary bedding piled beside him.

"Bo?" you asked quietly and he instantly turned to you. Under different circumstances, you might have found it amusing that you had surprised him.

His gaze scanned your body, wetting his lips at the sight of you in one of his tee-shirts. "You alright, darlin'?" he had never been shy about pet-names, always calling you by them. You didn't mind. You liked it.

"Can't sleep" you mumbled, wrapping your arms around yourself.

"Wanna sit with me?" he asked and you nodded without having to think about it.

He gave you his signature charming smirk. "C'mon then" he patted the space beside him and you walked over to him.

Bo lifted his arm, laying it over the back of the couch as you sat down beside him, his arm behind you. Some old film was on the television, you had no idea what, but you didn't mind. Bo didn't seem very interested in it either.

"You got any idea what's going on in this?" Bo asked, gesturing towards the television, you just shook your head. "Need better fucking stations" he muttered to himself, making you smile a little in amusement.

"Or you could upgrade from VHS...maybe get a DVD player" you mused. "Do they even sell VHS's anymore?" you asked with a small chuckle, earning a smile from Bo.

"Guess we'll have to save up for your fancy technology" Bo teased, proud of himself when you laughed.

"I think I can deal with it" you shrugged before, not so subtly despite your best efforts, shifting closer to him.

"Good" Bo hummed, his arm lowering from the back of the couch to wrap around your shoulders and pull you closer. You allowed him, resting your head against his shoulder.

The two of you fell silent as you watched the screen, not really taking anything in. Risking your glances at Bo once again, the hand that lay lazily in his lap caught your attention. He was wearing a tee-shirt, ready for bed, leaving his wrist visible.

Gently, you reached out and took his hand in yours, your other hand tracing his scars. "Will you tell me about them now?" you asked quietly, watching your fingertips trace his scars.

"Ain't much of a story" Bo shrugged, watching your expression of concentration.

"I'd still like to hear it. Been wondering since my childhood" you confessed.

"Me and Vincent were very different kids. He was well-behaved and quiet, me...not so much. I got angry, I'd shout, throw tantrums, parents had to restrain me at the dinner table sometimes. I'd try to get out, fucking up my wrists" Bo explained, finding the repetitive touches to his scarring strangely relaxing. It wasn't something he usually liked to have on show, but he knew he could be vulnerable with you.

"That's horrible...I'm sorry" you frowned, meeting his gaze with nothing but sympathy in your eyes.

"Eh, had to do what they had to do" he shrugged dismissively. Surely, he should be apologising to you if anything.

"You did what any kid with behavioural problems does, they should have handled it much differently" you shook your head, brow furrowing in frustration. Who would treat their child like that?

“Ain’t a big deal” he shrugged again. You could already tell that he didn't like talking about this sort of thing and you found yourself hoping he would begin to grow more comfortable with opening up to you.

“Come on, Bo…if you can’t talk to me, who can you talk too?” you asked with a small but sincere smile. You were his soulmate after all. “I know it hurt, I felt it, remember? At least when the pain started for me, I had someone there to calm me and help me. I can’t imagine how distressing it would have been…” your smile quickly faded, expression turning to sympathetic as you squeezed his hand gently.

There was a short silence, Bo not looking at you, and you decided that if he didn't talk, you wouldn't push it further. “It hurt” Bo finally spoke, clearing his throat. “Each time the restraints would get tighter, ‘least that’s how it felt. The more I struggled the more it hurt, but the more it hurt the more I struggled. Just wanted to get out of the damn chair” he told you shortly, sighing as your thumb brushed over the inside of his wrist. And then he looked at you properly, “for what it's worth, I’m sorry you had to feel that too…and everything else.”

“You don’t need to apologise. I was never angry with you for the pain, just angry with those hurting you” you confessed.

Bo smirked a little at the anger in your expression. The hand that you held onto moved, gently grasping one of your wrists as he brushed his thumb over the matching scarring. "Hey, don't you start worrying about me, alright?"

"I'm not allowed to care?" you asked, suddenly hit with the realisation that you did care. You cared a whole lot about this man.

"...you want to care? You go ahead and care, darlin'" he nodded, giving his permission, making you smile.

"Good...because I will, even if you don't want me too" you told him, knowing that now. Accepting that.

"Beginning to think you're warming up to me" Bo hummed, the hand on your shoulder stroking up and down your arm.

"Don't ruin it" you rolled your eyes but still moved closer to him, naturally draping an arm around his waist and laying your head against his chest. "I wanted to ask you something" you spoke quietly after a short pause in conversation.

"Shoot" Bo looked down at you, his hold around you tightening ever so slightly.

"Was wondering if you...wanted to sleep in the bed, maybe, with me tonight?" you glanced down at your lap. You shouldn't have been embarrassed, he was your soulmate, but circumstances were more than unusual. "Don't like sleeping alone...it never used to bother me" you confessed.

"Can't complain about getting back in my own bed" Bo mused before hooking a finger under your chin, lifting your head and making you look at him. "All you had to do was ask, darlin'" he assured you.

The way he looked at you, the intensity of his gaze, made heat rise to your face, but it still earned a smile from you. "Just sleeping, though" you added, not wanting him to get any ideas.

"Just sleeping. I swear" Bo chuckled lowly, the sound vibrating in his chest. It was a nice sound.

"Thank you" you whispered, breath catching in your throat when you realised how close your faces were now.

Bo noticed how you gaze flickered down to his lips before meeting his eyes again, cheeks darkening with a flush. He hadn't been subtle despite putting effort into making you comfortable, you had often caught him staring and he'd only smirk when you caught him looking at you.

Bo didn't seem like the type of guy to sit back until somebody else made a move, he seemed like an initiator type, but you knew that he wasn't going to play into that role right now. You had just talked to him properly, invited him back into his bed. He could be impulsive but he wasn't stupid, he wouldn't risk scaring you away right now.

You had no idea where you got the confidence from, or maybe it was just the innate gravitational pull you felt towards him, but you started leaning in. Eyes fluttered shut as your lips brushed against his.

That seemed to be enough to reassure Bo that you wouldn't run away as he fully closed the space, pressing his lips further against yours in a proper kiss. One that you instantly returned.

You couldn't help yourself, arms looping around his neck as you lent into his chest. Strong arms circling your waist and pulling you closer, practically onto his lap. His kiss, his touch, his mere presence, lit a fire in you. The like of which you had never experienced before. In that moment it truly felt like you were the only two people who existed. Two people colliding in an unlikely little town.

And, in that moment, you knew. Monster or not, soulmate or not, you were supposed to be right here with Bo. It didn't matter if the universe had a sick idea of fate, the past didn't matter, only now mattered. Only him and only you. Finally, you accepted the truth you had been resisting for so many days.

He was yours and, more importantly, you were his.

[merakiui]

hello!!<3 can i request an angst scenario (it can have a happy ending it's up to you!!) childe x fem!reader where they are together for some time and she didn't know he's fatui (she hates them bc her parents were in debt and overall they ruined her life and he's too scared to tell her) but she finds out and wants to broke up?? THANK YOU

In which you discover Childe’s ties to the Fatui.

cw: angst, debt, small mention of depression as a result of debt, female reader note - I woke up and chose pain with this one. >:) it also got long;;; oops!

You hate the Fatui. And although that’s such a strong, hurtful word it's your true feelings. You’ve never experienced their wrath firsthand, but you have witnessed what it can do to people. Your sweet, loving parents, who took loans out of the bank in order to pay for repairs to their shop, were reduced to frightful messes at the mere mention of that harrowing F-word.

It’s horrible to see them in such a state, especially since a few agents had come by once and practically demanded the money. As a result of such a distasteful discussion, you refuse to go into any sort of monetary career: trader, merchant, and even a wandering saleswoman. You’ll find a way to make things right by getting a job that will bring in lots of riches for your poor parents. Then the Fatui will have no choice but to leave your family alone.

Your own funds have dried up, having gone into another Fatui agent’s gloved hands. You can’t even argue because you have an inkling as to what will happen when you finally run out of money to give. Ever since this entire debt charade, your parents have become hollow shells of their former selves: paranoid, depressed, and starved of the happiness that comes with being in a regular, debt-free family.

Childe tunes into your rant as if someone had just turned on the switch that designates his listening skills. The two of you are sitting on a lovely hilltop, watching the stars twinkle in and out of focus. Liyue Harbor can be seen from afar, glittering in warm colors of gold and red. If Childe remembers correctly, another festival should be right around the corner. He’ll have to take you when he finds time to slink away from his work.

Speaking of his work, he’s never actually told you about it. When you asked, he simply said it was a job that allowed him to travel. It sounded like a traveling merchant to you—perhaps even a fishmonger specializing in exotic types—considering he was seemingly loaded with Mora. It made you jealous that he was so well-off with his finances, but you couldn’t complain when he so readily emptied his pockets for your sake.

“And then that stupid agent shows up at our door right when I get home! It’s the worst timing ever. My parents were pretending to be out of the house and I showed up and ruined their plan.” A heavy sigh tumbles from your lips as you flop back onto the grass, where Childe fixes you with a lopsided, sympathetic grin. “I hate it. They’re not even themselves anymore. It’s like they lost all sense of life. I’m picking up as many commissions as I can, but it doesn’t even help. The Fatui just take it all faster than I can save it.”

“They’re the worst, aren’t they?”

“And the sky isn’t blue. Of course they’re the worst!” You inhale softly. “No use getting mad about something that already happened, though.”

“You’ll just give yourself more stress and you don’t need that.” He joins you on the plush grass, turning his head to look at you rather than up at the inky night sky. “I can help with your commissions, you know. I’ve been itching to smash some hilichurl camps.”

“I can handle it myself. It’s fine.” Only it’s not and you’ve started realizing that. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Funny. I was going to ask you something, too!”

“Oh. Uh...”

He chuckles, staring at you with blue eyes that don’t sparkle. “There’s this festival coming up and I wanted to take you. It’ll be just the two of us for one night. You can forget all about work and money—”

“What about you? You said your job has you traveling all over the place. That’s why we’ll rarely see each other in the future. Once you’re done here in Liyue, that is.” You move onto your side, holding yourself up on your elbow. “I don’t think it’ll work.”

“Well, my boss doesn’t have to know. It’ll be our tiny secret!”

You roll your eyes, smiling a little. Deep inside you’ve always felt like something was off about his story. For the past few months, he’s remained in Liyue and once you even caught him slipping into Northland Bank when you were running some errands. You hope he isn’t in a similar situation concerning debt and poverty. No, he wouldn’t need to be. He’s shown you just how many lavish things his funds can afford. Why would he be in debt if he has a stable job?

“Are you...doing something bad?”

You could’ve phrased that better, but it’s already out in the open now. Sheepishly, you avoid his befuddled stare, opting to watch the moon as its light becomes obscured behind a dark cloud. An airy chuckle escapes him, but he doesn’t say anything. His silence confirms your fears and it dawns upon you that he hasn’t been truthful this entire time.

“This mask.” It’s in your hands before he can stop you. You’re tapping at it with a finger, equal parts curious and apprehensive. You refuse to beat around the bush; your doubtful gaze catches his and it hardens at once. “You’re Fatui, aren’t you?”

He sits up calmly, holding out his hand. “That’s quite the accusation, my dear. Let’s not jump to conclusions.”

“I’m not jumping to any conclusion. I’m right, aren’t I?” Now you’re sitting up, staggering to your feet to find some sort of leverage over him. He’s taller than you and far more powerful than he once let on. “Childe, why would—“

He sighs, lowering his hand out of defeat. “I suppose there’s no point avoiding it now. You were bound to find out one of these days.”

“One of these days? What? Like, when my family’s on the streets because the Fatui took our house?”

It hurts that he wasn’t honest and it hurts even more knowing that he has the power to help. He could’ve spent his time working out ways to get you out of debt, yet he decided to shower you in affection and useless trinkets! Trinkets that are only good for selling and receiving money to pay off the debt. You could cry; that’s how much it hurts. And when he makes no solid effort to comfort you, the tears begin to form.

“Of course not. I’d never let that happen!”

“Then why would you lie about it? Why not help me? Why can’t you just be honest? You always avoid questions you don’t want to answer and I hate it! I’ve been with you long enough to know that that mask is bad news. I was just waiting for you to confirm it, but you didn’t.”

You think it’s selfish for wanting his help—for wanting help from a Fatui agent, no less—but you’re too upset to care.

“(Name), you know that’s—“

“What else haven’t you told me? What else have you lied about? I don’t care if you’re trying to protect me. I’m already on a list. The Fatui still show up to my house and you just...let them. Why?”

“If I interfered, it would look bad in front of Her Majesty. You know I can’t go against her orders. I want to help you—I do. But...”

You’re fumbling for new words, at a complete loss with yourself. No matter how many questions you spout, he’ll evade them like they’re optional. And even if you want answers and honesty more than anything right now, you know he’ll fail to provide it. You shove the mask into his hands, shaking your head in disbelief. A swell of emotions overcome you: sadness, anger, and regret. You feel utterly betrayed. The sweet Childe, whom you once thought was your perfect match, is working for the Fatui—the people who have turned your life into misery.

And that’s probably not even the half of it.

“Let’s break up,” you say before he can spin another false tale. Another easy excuse to avoid this downfall. Childe stops short to stare at you in surprise and it’s weird to see that emotion scrawled across his face. He’s usually smooth and collected; he always knows what to say and how to act. Not this time, though. “It’s not going to work if we’re together while the Fatui are hounding my parents. And they wouldn’t approve of our relationship either.”

“Now, (Name), wait a moment. You’re not thinking straight. You’re just—” He struggles to find the correct words and in that small moment between foggy clarity and paralyzing uncertainty he plasters another plastic smile on. “Look. I know you’re upset, but I didn’t mean to lie to you. I was going to tell you eventually. Just had to find the right time to do it, you know?"

“I know. And that’s why we should go our separate ways.” Like Childe, you also put on a faux show, building up your walls as high and strong as his are. You don’t think you’ll last another minute in his presence, as you’re far too close to tears. “Thank you again for tonight. I’ll take my leave now.”

Rather than pain, it’s bitter when your lips fall upon his soft cheek. And the gesture stings harder than a slap on the wrist. 

The searing pain returns when you pull away and begin the descent from the hill as fast as your trembling legs will allow. You refuse to look back and fall into his arms in hopes that he’ll reassure you. The fact that he doesn’t chase after you—doesn’t even call out—stabs your conflicted heart and it’s more than enough confirmation. Childe isn’t exactly boyfriend material. He’s callous when it comes to a battle and he’s driven by his own ulterior motives. Surely this relationship was just a means of spending his extra time when he found himself bored and lacking a fight. Maybe he thought of his work when the two of you were on secretive dates. Maybe his heart was empty when the two of you were intimate. Maybe you were just the glue holding this crumbling bond together.

Childe remains on that hilltop, watching you disappear into the distance. And it’s then when realizes he’s lost you. The feeling is different from the battlefield and it’s far more real than when he’s snooping around as a Harbinger. You’re just a normal, good-natured citizen and he...ruined that part of you. With his ties to an enemy that has crushed your family. He’s partly, if not fully, responsible for what transpired just now and for the first time in a while real guilt gnaws at him. He’s left wondering why he did all of that—why he couldn’t just face your questions head-on.

It’s his fault, isn’t it?

On that windy hilltop, under the silent, disapproving darkness of the sky, he’s left to pick up the pieces of a fractured relationship. And it’s all because he couldn’t admit the truth to his precious girlfriend.

In a way, the Fatui have taken something from him, too, and he’s not sure if he’ll be able to patch it up with honeyed promises. 

Looks like we won’t be going to that festival anytime soon...

[sunnie-scribbles]

bad guy | tsukki

“There was no place in heaven for someone like him. But damn it, Tsukishima would do his best to earn his place with you.”

pairing: tsukki x reader

warnings: angst angst angst akjsjkskja slight fluff at the end tho

wc: too many i think jk 2127

Tsukishima has never claimed to be a good person. 

He’s arrogant and mean. He’s never been the openly kind and caring type. He had a nasty habit of provoking people, and often found himself rather enjoying making fun of them. He’s also been told that he intimidates people very easily. Tsukishima is pretty sure these things don’t make him your usual run-of-the-mill good boy. He didn’t gain the nickname ‘Suckyshima’ among his teammates and friends for nothing. 

But at the very least, he’s always thought that when it really mattered, one could find goodness at his core. 

He knew you believed it, too. He could see it in your eyes; could hear it in the tone of your voice, the way you spoke to him; could sense it in the way you relaxed your shoulders and laughed so easily around him. Tsukishima never understood why. Nobody has gotten close to him as easily as you did— not even Yamaguchi. You were, by all accounts, his polar opposite. You only ever had kind words, and rarely scowled at anybody. You were polite, sweet, and his mother just adored you. You had sharp edges too, sure. Everyone did. But you were the goodest person he knew. 

Which is why it kept him awake, every night, remembering what he did to you. 

“What are you talking about?” you asked, trailing after him as he walked away from the gym. There was a tremble in your voice and he hated it. “I don’t understand why you’re being like this, Kei.”

“I’m saying this as simply as I can,” he replied over his shoulder. “I don’t want to be with you anymore.” 

“But why?” He could hear your footsteps coming closer. “You just keep repeating that, but you don’t tell me why.” He felt a hand wrap around his wrist, tugging him backwards. Tsukishima sighed and stopped in his tracks. He wasn’t sure he’d make it out of this alive if he turned to look at your face. So he didn’t. He shook your hand away, sighing.

“Don’t you love me anymore?” Tsukishima was completely certain you were crying. 

“No, I don’t.” He replied. Tsukishima heard your breath hitch, and his heart stopped. He hated this. He hated this. 

“No,” you told him. “I don’t believe you, Kei. I don’t believe it.” 

“Fine,” Tsukishima said, pushing himself forward. “Don’t believe me. I don’t care.” 

You lunged after him, throwing your arms around his waist. Tsukishima’s breath stopped. “I don’t believe you Kei,” you repeated, tightening your grip. “Not for one second.” 

He took a breath and spun around, mustering as much strength as he could in that millisecond. “What’s wrong with you?” He spat, pushing you away in one swift motion. “Don’t believe me, that’s fine. But I’m telling the truth, I don’t want to be with you anymore.” 

“You’re a liar, Kei,” your voice was just barely above a whisper now. Tsukishima was almost certain this was worse than having you yell at him. “Look at me. Look me in the eyes. And tell me that again.” 

“I don’t owe you anything,” he replied, trying to keep his voice from trembling too. “But if this will make you stop, sure.” He took a breath. “I’m tired. No, I’m exhausted. Between you and volleyball, I just can’t keep up. You always expect so much of me, and you never leave me alone. Do you know how tiring it is to be with someone who constantly needs reassurance? Who always needs me around? I’m sorry, I just can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to be with you anymore. ” 

He was sure that the look in your eyes at that very moment would haunt him for the rest of his life. Tsukishima has never hated himself as much as he did right then. 

“Fine,” you muttered. “That’s fine. I understand.” 

Tsukishima turned on his heel and silently walked away from you. This was the worst thing he had ever done. If he’s ever believed that there was any good in him before, now he was certain there was none. 

Tsukishima tried to convince himself that it was the right thing to do. If you hated him, it would be easier for you to move on. You would be free. You’d be better off without him. He’s never been any good for you in the first place anyway. He couldn’t give you what you deserved. 

It’s been three weeks since that evening. Tsukishima had become angrier, more bitter. He could tell from the way his teammates walked on eggshells around him. Kageyama wasn’t snarky with him and Hinata brushed off his back handed comments. Bokuto had tried reaching out to him, odd as that was. Daichi and Sugawara had tried to talk to him too, but he brushed them off. He knew they all meant well, but they wouldn’t be able to make it go away anyway. There was no grace in heaven for someone like him. 

Tsukishima only ever saw you in the halls. When Yamaguchi made excuses not to walk home with him after practice, Tsukishima knew he was going to meet with you. He tried to tell himself it didn’t bother him. Maybe you and Yamaguchi would fall in love. The thought made his chest tight and his throat burn, but Yamaguchi was better for you than he could ever be. It wouldn’t be so bad. It didn’t bother him. It was better this way— or at least, that’s what he told himself. 

But it did bother him. All of it did. It bothered Tsukishima that Yamaguchi got to look at you, hear your laughter, walk you home, and do all these things with you that Tsukishima would never get to do again. It bothered him that you would never look at him without sadness in your eyes ever again. It bothered him that he knew he would never love anyone else, because he would rather be lonely than hurt anyone again— than hurt like this again. 

Tonight, it bothered Tsukishima that his hands were cold. He shoved his hands as deep in his pockets as he could. He thought about stepping inside Coach Ukai’s store for a bit, maybe warming his hands and belly with a meat bun. But even as he was a good distance away from the store, Tsukishima could already hear the bellowing laughter of his teammates. He knew that if he stepped inside, the laughter would slowly quiet down and they would start throwing him these sympathetic looks. He didn’t want to spoil their fun. So he kept walking. 

Tsukishima kept his eyes trained on the road in front of him. The music streaming in from his headphones blocked out pretty much most of the sounds around him, keeping him locked inside his head. That was fine. If he was lucky, a car would come crashing towards him and he wouldn’t be able to notice until it was too late. 

That’s why he didn’t even notice you until you were right in front of him. 

Tsukishima stopped dead in his tracks. Those shoes were very familiar. He looked up at you, his heart thumping in his ears. 

“Hello, Kei,” you said, slowly. The gentleness of your voice took him aback. Tsukishima spent many late nights imagining what it would be like to run into you for the first time since the breakup. He imagined you would either completely ignore him, or yell at him. He wasn’t sure which was worse, but he knew for sure that he deserved both from you. He wasn’t expecting this, though. 

“Have you been well?” No, he hasn’t. Tsukishima found himself unable to speak. He averted his gaze, feeling the shame crawl up his spine. Even without looking at you, he knew you would be wringing your hands behind your back— it’s what you did whenever you were nervous. He knew you would have your hair done the same way it’s always been, pushed up your forehead with a ribbon and falling down your shoulders. He knew exactly how beautiful you would be, even under the dim yellow light of the street lamp. And most of all, he knew there would be tears in your eyes. So, no matter how much he wanted to meet your gaze, he didn’t. 

“Alright then,” you conceded after a few seconds without a reply from Tsukishima. “It was nice seeing you, Kei.” 

You stepped sideways in an effort to avoid him, but as you walked past, Tsukishima’s arm shot out. His hand desperately wrapped around your wrist. He hated how much it reminded him of how you did the same thing the night you broke up. His heart had risen up to his throat, and he felt like he was going to vomit. Tsukishima couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know what he was doing, but he didn’t want you to leave. 

“I haven’t,” he croaked. “I haven’t been well.” 

You looked up at him, surprised. Tsukishima’s cheeks burned, suddenly feeling silly for acting on impulse. He let go of your wrist. “I’m sorry,” he said, finally looking at you. “I don’t know what came over me.” 

“It’s alright..” you said, slowly. “I haven’t been well, either.” 

Looking at you hurt him. You looked so small and fragile, standing in front of him with that look on your face. It made his chest constrict, and he hated that he was the reason you looked so downcast. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. Before he knew it, his feet propelled him forward, carrying him away from you. Apparently, this was all he knew how to do. Walk away. 

Tsukishima couldn’t sleep that night. He tossed and turned, replaying every second of your earlier interaction in his head. The image of you, small and vulnerable in front of him, was burned into the back of his eyelids. He couldn’t stand seeing how he’d hurt you. But somehow, he couldn’t stop picturing it. Part of him knew he needed to make it right, that he needed to apologize. An even bigger part wanted to take it all back. To beg for your forgiveness, to say, screw it— everything’s just no good without you. And if you would still have him, he would do everything in his power to deserve you. 

But he knew he had no right to do any of that. Tsukishima sat up and put his head in his hands. This must be what going crazy feels like. 

Tsukishima pulled on a hoodie, and made his way downstairs. He slipped into his sneakers, convincing himself he’d just go for a walk. Only to clear his head. But he’s never really been good at convincing himself. Before he knew it, his feet were taking him down a familiar path. One he’d walked countless times before. And he couldn't seem to stop. He only did when he came up right at your door. 

“Kei, it’s two in the morning,” you swung the door open, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Tsukishima looked at you, and it occurred to him that he didn’t know the right words to say. 

“It’s cold tonight, huh,” he said, shoving his hands sheepishly into his pockets. 

“Yeah…” you answered, rubbing your arms to keep warm. 

“It’s been like this ever since that day,” Tsukishima continued, nodding to himself. “Cold as winter, every single day. I mean, not literally, but like, that’s how it felt…” he couldn’t believe what he was saying. He shouldn’t be here. But it’s too late to turn back now. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “That’s how it felt to not have you in my life.” 

“Kei…” tears were welling up in your eyes. 

“And I’m sorry,” Tsukishima continued. “I’m sorry for everything that I said. I didn’t mean any of it.” He took a deep breath. 

“Then why—” 

“I was terrified.” Tsukishima could feel the wind brushing against his face and pulled his hood up. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him look this vulnerable. 

“I love you so much,” his voice was soft. “The stars pale in comparison to how much I do.” His breath hitched, and he could feel tears welling up in his eyes. “And I didn’t think I was good enough for you.” Tsukishima chuckled bitterly. “I was right.” 

“Oh, Kei..” you reached out for him, taking his face in your hands. It was the first time you’d ever seen the great Tsukishima Kei cry. “I’ll spend the rest of my life being sorry that I hurt you,” he whispered. “And if you’ll let me, I’ll spend every day making it up to you.” There was no place in heaven for someone like him. But damn it, Tsukishima would do his best to earn his place with you. 

[mysterioushogwartsrequests]

Would you do a slight NSFW Draco Malfoy imagine of him dating a Slytherin who's good friends with Hermione, Ron and Harry and she manages to convince Draco to go to the Three Broomsticks with the Golden Trio and be cordial with them since she's promised him some alone time if he's nice to them since she wants them to see that he's not all bad because they don't get what she sees him in?

Hello! This one took forever to write, I lowkey got stumped and I couldn’t figure out how to write the ending, lol. I didn’t want to go all-in so this is what I came up with. I love Draco Malfoy so I want to do him justice!

                                           ϟ ϟ ϟ

Draco watched as (Y/N) (L/N) adjusted her lipstick in his dormitory mirror, studying her silhouette as she bent over his dresser. As an upcoming superstar for the Slytherin Quidditch Team, (Y/N) was quite popular and often found herself being the center of attention. But once the school caught wind of her relationship with the Draco Malfoy, it did not take long for them to be considered the power couple of Slytherin House. However, despite sharing a perfectly healthy relationship, there were a few students that questioned (Y/N)’s partner of choice.

These complaints came from the three most determined students of Gryffindor House. Despite being in separate houses, the Golden Trio and (Y/N) managed to become great friends, effectively breaking the hateful stereotype between Gryffindor and Slytherin relationships. During their second year, (Y/N) found herself in quite the predicament when she fell off a borrowed broom hours past curfew. She spent a fair amount of time sprawled across the training grounds staring up at the starry sky trying to ignore the excruciating pain of her broken arm. It was then that Harry, Ron, and Hermione stumbled upon her still body as they pursued the mystery of the Chamber of Secrets. Hermione Granger was the first to approach her, momentarily scolding (Y/N) for breaking the rules before examining the extent of her wounds.

Harry and Ron followed cautiously behind Hermione, the two of them exchanging worried looks before kneeling beside (Y/N).

“It’ll be alright,” said Ron with a sympathetic smile, “We’ll take care of you.” 

From that day on the four of them were inseparable. Which was a natural outcome when a group fabricated lies to fool Madam Pomfrey or any other staff member, for that matter. When they were not chasing dangerous creatures within Hogwarts, they often spent their time near the Quidditch Pitch, with Harry and Ron teaching (Y/N) the basics of the game while Hermione reviewed her books from the ground. As time went on (Y/N), and Hermione calmly listened to Harry and Ron’s rants about Draco Malfoy and how much they despised him. 

Being from the same house as Draco Malfoy, (Y/N) often found herself conflicted between choosing her friends and abiding by the “your house is like your family” statement. She could not think of one occasion where Malfoy had been rude to her directly, but she could not excuse his behavior towards her friends. It was not until Professor Snape paired them up for a Potions essay that (Y/N) and Draco began learning more about each other. Draco was used to boasting and putting on a show in front of other students, but he quickly realized that (Y/N) would not succumb to his usual tricks.

Draco lay comfortably against his bed, his arms crossed behind his head as his eyes landed on the plaid pleated skirt his loving girlfriend decided to wear for their Hogsmeade trip. (Y/N) looked at Draco’s reflection, a devious smile playing at her lips as she bent forwards, giving her boyfriend a better view of what he quietly desired. At this movement, Draco clicked his tongue and scowled in her direction, swiftly rising from his four-poster, and making his way towards her. 

“Little nymph,” uttered Draco against her ear, rubbing small circles against her hips as she straightened up, “We could just stay. Avoid the trouble... and have a little fun ourselves.” Under different circumstances, Draco would have been thrilled to visit Hogsmeade with his beloved, but he knew they would not be spending the afternoon alone. 

(Y/N) cleared her throat, her eyes landing on the silver “I” on Draco’s robes before excellently replicating Professor Umbridge’s high-pitched voice, “Boys and girls are not permitted to be within eight inches of each other,” she teased, leaning back into Draco’s grip as he scoffed. Spinning her around, Draco lifted her onto his dresser, pushing her skirt up farther up her thighs. 

“I’d like to think I can change your tune rather quickly,” Draco snapped, pressing chaste kisses against the smooth skin of her neck, “I’ll never understand how you imitate that woman so perfectly” he added, earning a giggle from (Y/N).

“One of my many talents,” retaliated (Y/N), wrapping her arms around Draco’s neck, “You know, I can’t help but think this is your way of distracting me” she added, twirling small strands of his platinum blonde hair.

“Ugh,” groaned Draco, “I just don’t understand why we have to spend our Saturday with Potter and his stupid friends,” he spat but quickly scowled at (Y/N)’s hurt expression. 

“I’ve told you before, Draco,” (Y/N) frowned, “They’re my friends too and I wish for us to get along. It took me a while to convince them, but they’ve agreed to give you one more chance,” she said, placing her hand against her boyfriend’s cheek, “I want them to see the real you, the Draco I fell in love with.”

Draco turned his head away from (Y/N) but held her hand to acknowledge her words. Despite being together for a little over a year, he still found it quite difficult to let his guard down completely. He supposed it was due to his family’s teachings and the expectations of his Father, but throughout his relationship with (Y/N), he came to realize there were far more important matters. One of them being keeping (Y/N) (L/N) safe and content. 

“Fine,” Draco uttered, his grey eyes meeting hers, “I’ll do it for you, Darling” he added, pressing a gentle kiss against her forehead before capturing her lips in a sweet kiss. (Y/N) smiled against his kiss, pressing her forehead against his once he pulled away. 

“I appreciate it, Draco,” She whispered, pressing a light kiss against the tip of his nose, “and don’t forget, I promised you a little reward if you behave.” (Y/N) added seductively, leading Draco’s hands underneath her short skirt. 

Draco hummed contently, harshly squeezing the back of her thighs and lifting her against his body, her legs wrapping instinctively over his hips, “Well then, I’ll make sure to be on my best behavior,” He said, kissing her once again and setting her down in front of him, “We better get going, it’s not polite to keep them waiting.”

(Y/N) laughed at his change of behavior, taking one final look in the mirror, and heading towards the door. A loud smack suddenly filled the room, earning a small yelp of surprise from (Y/N), “Draco!” she exclaimed, turning to face her seemingly innocent boyfriend, “Why don’t you save the spanking for later?” she teased as Draco chuckled. 

“Alright, alright,” He added, raising his arms defensively, “but you are aware of how much I adore those little skirts you wear.”

(Y/N) opened the door of the boys’ dormitory and took another glance back at Draco, “and that is exactly why I wear them,” She winked and scurried down the stairs, filling the stairwell with her giggles as Draco chased behind her. 

                                            ϟ ϟ ϟ

Meanwhile, at the Three Broomsticks, Ron Weasley let out his fourth impatient huff of the afternoon, leaning his hand into his palm with a noticeable scowl on his face. “I can’t believe we’re doing this,” he grumbled, taking another swig of his Butterbeer as they waited. 

Hermione sighed once again, “Ron, this is for (Y/N), just try to give him a chance.” Even though she was attempting to sound positive, Hermione could not help feel wary of what was to come. They had never seen eye to eye with Draco Malfoy and his new position on Umbridge’s Inquisitorial Squad made the situation even more cumbersome. 

“Ron’s right, Hermione,” added Harry, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back into his seat, “I find it hard to believe that Malfoy has a ‘good’ side.” Hermione scoffed at his words, glaring at the crabby boys beside her, “Oh, stop it!” exclaimed Hermione, “You two know how much (Y/N) cares for him, we at least have to make the effort to talk to him.” Ron and Harry looked towards each other, exchanging abhorrent looks until Hermione elbowed them both. 

“Bloody hell, Hermione!” exclaimed Ron, tenderly rubbing his aching side, but quickly shut up once he noticed the presence of his friend (Y/N) and her boyfriend. Hermione quickly rose from her seat and greeted (Y/N) with a tight hug before awkwardly turning to face the silent Draco Malfoy. 

“Hello, Draco” she greeted, extending her hand for him to shake. Draco shifted his eyes towards (Y/N) who gave an encouraging nod as he gripped Hermione’s outstretched hand. 

“Hello, Granger,” He replied, a meek smile playing at his lips as he turned towards the boys sitting at the booth, “Weasley, Potter, good to see you.” 

Ron absentmindedly let his jaw drop, hesitantly replying “Erm- Good to see you too, Malfoy”, carelessly scratching his head as Hermione returned to her seat beside him. Harry, however, did not speak, he only acknowledged Draco with a subtle nod of the head as he sipped his Butterbeer. Draco smiled towards (Y/N), pulling a chair out and gesturing for her to take a seat, “I’ll go order us some more drinks,” He stated, kissing the top of his girlfriend’s head before sauntering away.

  Ron watched Draco go in shock, “good to see you?!” he whispered harshly, slapping his hand against his forehead, “I sound like a prat!”. Hermione scowled once again, shooting a reassuring look towards (Y/N), “Ron’s just getting used to this, I’m sure he’ll behave once Draco returns” she stated comfortingly, taking (Y/N)’s hand into hers with a smile, “But honestly, I didn’t expect him to say that either.”

(Y/N) laughed, patting the top of Hermione’s hand as she glanced back at Draco at the bar, “I told you he was polite,” she added with a grin, “You just have to get to know him.” With nearly perfect timing, Draco returned and took a seat next to his girlfriend, wrapping his arm around the back of her chair. Ron examined the situation carefully, his protective instinct rising as Malfoy got closer to his friend.

“Madam Rosmerta will bring our drinks soon, I also requested an assortment of pastries” Draco spoke out, lacing his fingers with (Y/N)’s underneath the wooden table, “My treat,” he added, earning a satisfied smile from his girlfriend. 

Some of Ron’s animosity disappeared at the mention of free food and he gave a small nod of appreciation towards Draco, “Thanks, Malfoy” he uttered, looking towards Harry and Hermione who were also having a difficult time understanding this “new” side of Malfoy. 

A wave of silence fell over them. It seemed like they were unsure of who should speak first, but upon feeling the gentle squeeze of (Y/N)’s hand, Draco cleared his throat, “So, (Y/N) tells me you two taught her how to play Quidditch,” he added, nodding his head towards Harry and Ron curiously. 

“Uh, yeah,” Harry replied, speaking up for the first time since the couple’s arrival, “(Y/N)’s a natural though, it didn’t take long for her to learn the basics.” 

“That reminds me,” added Ron, grinning as Madame Rosmerta set down their freshly baked pastries and full goblets of Butterbeer, “(Y/N), you haven’t told us your favorite Quidditch team! I think you should have a pretty good idea at this point,” he said, bringing his cup to his lips to take a generous gulp. 

(Y/N) took the opportunity to play a joke on her friends, taking a bite of her warm apple tart before saying, “Why! The Chudley Cannons, of course!” 

Harry immediately regretted taking such a big drink, choking on the liquid before (Y/N) even finished her sentence. Hermione let out a panicked squeal, patting Harry’s back as he violently coughed, “T-The Chudley Cannons?! Have you gone mad?!” He exclaimed tearfully, looking towards (Y/N) in bewilderment. 

Ron subtly placed his hand over his mouth, concealing his smile as Harry finished up his coughing fit. Draco, on the other hand, could not hide his amusement and snickered at Potter’s antics. (Y/N) burst laughing at Harry’s reaction, quickly shaking her head, “I was just pulling your leg! The Chudley Cannons are complete rubbish!” 

Ron let out an angry scoff, “Hey! It is just a management problem! The players are quite good!” He defended while Harry violently shook his head. 

“I’m glad it was just a joke, I was ready to take you to Madam Pomfrey” Harry exclaimed, dabbing his mouth with a napkin and sinking back into his seat.

“And what would she have done?” Hermione asked dubiously, taking a bite of a pumpkin pasty.

“Unless she knew a cure for madness, she would not have been much help,” chuckled Draco as he sipped his Butterbeer, earning a noticeable smile from Ron and Hermione. 

Harry rolled his eyes and grabbed pastry off the tray, “Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled in annoyance, “She could’ve examined (Y/N)’s head or something, I don’t know”

“Who do you follow then, Potter?” Asked Draco curiously, wrapping his arm around (Y/N)’s shoulders as they continued their conversation. 

“Uh-” Harry paused, caught off-guard by his question“Well, the Bulgarian team has some great players, but I’d say it’s between them and Ireland” He admitted, recalling the 1994 Quidditch World Cup, “Can’t say I have a favorite, though” 

“The Gryffindor team is definitely your favorite,” teased (Y/N), “but that is a bit biased since you are their Seeker.”

Harry playfully rolled his eyes at her comment, “Can you honestly say your favorite team isn’t the Slytherin team?” He asked, pointing an accusatory finger towards (Y/N). Both she and Draco laughed, shrugging at Harry’s reasonably accurate comment, “You got me there” she admitted.

“We are quite good,” Draco admitted proudly with a nod of the head, “Never lost a match until you came along,” he added, shrugging towards Harry, “I promise we’ll beat you next time, (Y/N) and I have been training non-stop.” 

Harry snickered at Draco’s comment, “We’ll see about that, Malfoy,” he grinned, “I’m not going to let you off easy just because you’re with (Y/N).” 

Draco clicked his tongue in amusement, “I want a fair match, Potter.” He stated sternly, “I wouldn’t be satisfied if I won a match just because you threw it” 

“Then we’ll settle this on the field,” Harry stated confidently, raising his Butterbeer in satisfaction and finishing it off. 

After a surprisingly pleasant outing, the five of them walked back towards the castle, hoping Professor Umbridge would not catch them sneaking in the extra special butterbeer Madam Rosmerta brewed per Draco’s request (and compensation, of course). Disregarding educational decree number twenty-six, Draco snaked his arm around (Y/N)’s waist, pulling her closer to him as they strode towards the Great Hall. Once there, Hermione gave (Y/N) a hug as they happily exchanged goodbyes for the evening. Draco and (Y/N) gave the Golden Trio one final wave before turning towards the direction of the Slytherin common room, making their way there quicker and more excitedly than usual.  

Delighted to find his dormitory empty, Draco urged his girlfriend into the room and swiftly locked the door. Although he would not give her the satisfaction of knowing this information, he actually had a great evening at Hogsmeade with (Y/N) and her friends. However, this realization did not deter Draco’s excitement as he recalled his dear girlfriend’s promise before they left. 

Placing a hand against the small of her back, Draco pushed (Y/N)’s stomach against the dresser she used to tease him earlier. “I’d say I put forth my very best manners today, wouldn’t you agree?” He muttered against her ear, earning a small gasp from her as one of his hands gripped her hip and the other sneaked towards the buttons of her shirt. A sultry moan slid past (Y/N)’s lips as Draco’s hips ground against her clothed behind. 

Encouraged by her noises, Draco wrapped his fingers underneath her chin and lifted it so their eyes met in the mirror, “Should I take that as a yes?” He asked huskily, pressing a kiss against her cheek as he gave her throat a squeeze.

 The boldness she exhibited earlier quickly cast out the window as she gave a rather desperate nod, enthralled by Draco’s movements. (Y/N)’s mind had strayed farther than she had expected it to. It did not matter how confident she acted before their usual teasing started, as soon as his expertly calculated movements began, she became putty in his hands. The feeling of his fingers tracing lines up her thigh until they were hidden under her skirt made her heart beat wildly. Draco carefully inched his fingers up her inner thigh, ghosting them over her dampening core, but moved them away without pressing them into her. Shifting her hips, (Y/N) let out another small whine as she attempted to at least brush herself on Draco’s fingers, earning a small tut from him.  

“Cat got your tongue, Princess?” inquired Draco, his hands moving to flip her skirt up, exposing the flimsy black lace underwear she flashed earlier, “I’m not going to do anything until I hear that pretty little beg of yours…” he added, removing his hands from her body and loosening his emerald green tie, his school robes discarded at his side. Draco’s words sent shivers down (Y/N)’s spine, his low tone forcing her thighs together to provide some friction, something her observant boyfriend had taken note of. 

“Oi, where are your manners?” he retorted, gripping her hips hard enough to bruise. Fed up with her silence, Draco slapped his hand against her exposed ass cheek, the cold, silver rings decorating his fingers adding another layer of pleasure as she gasped harshly. “I’m not going to ask you again,” With that, Draco hooked his index fingers underneath the lacy fabric and yanked it down her ankles, her arousal on full display. 

“I-I’m- Please, Draco,” (Y/N) whined out, squeezing her thighs together in front of him, “I need you, please touch me..!” She begged, another gasp overtaking her as Draco swiped two fingers against her folds. 

“That’s a good girl,” He praised, dipping the press a kiss against the back of her neck, smirking at her moans as he finally inserted a finger inside of her, “Keep making those noises for me and I’ll reward you” demanded Draco, lowering himself onto his knees as he pumped his fingers. Flattening his tongue against her folds, (Y/N) let out a sensual moan, her hands reaching for the corners of the dresser in an attempt to anchor her shaking legs. Draco smirked as (Y/N) shuddered at the sudden loss of contact, rising to his feet while he fiddled with his belt, “Let’s get started then, shall we?” He stated, kicking his trousers away and gripping (Y/N)’s hips tightly, her skirt pushed up to her waist as he ground his erection against her needy core. 

As their moans and groans echoed throughout the empty room, Draco could not help but think about giving in to her requests more often. If all of them ended with her writhing and calling his name underneath him, he did not have any qualms with entertaining Potter and his friends for the afternoon.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Lila Rossi: I’d Say She’s a Good Villain, but Then I’d Be Lying (300 Follower Special)

Deception and cunning are easily two of the most important traits an antagonist could have. It shows that even if they don't have the strength to overcome obstacles, their wit is more than enough. This kind of trait is why characters like Lex Luthor, David Xanatos, and Princess Azula are so beloved, simply because of how intelligent they can be as villains and pose a real threat to the heroes.

It's clear that the Miraculous Ladybug writers want Lila to be seen as this, but the writing seriously fails to back that claim up.

Easily one of the most controversial characters in Miraculous Ladybug is Lila, mainly for the writing surrounding her. But there was a time where she was actually more of an ambiguous character, mainly for the lack of screentime she had until Season 3. But unfortunately, the more appearances she's had have painted a very poor portrait of an antagonist.

Lila's Tragic and Sympathetic Motivation for Hating Ladybug

Lila's first appearance was at the tail end of Season 1, “Volpina”. She was a new transfer student from Italy, and quickly made friends with a lot of her classmates for the lies she told, including being friends with Ladybug (which Alya blindly believed without doing any research like any excellent journalist). But because of how close she was getting to Adrien, Marinette, in a rare act of selfishness, transforms into Ladybug just to chew out Lila for lying about knowing her, humiliating her in front of Adrien. And this is the only motivation we get for what Lila does afterwards.

I'm not saying that it's wrong for Lila to get upset at Ladybug for doing this, and I like the moment of weakness Marinette has, but this is literally the only explanation we get for Lila deciding to side with Hawkmoth, a literal terrorist. As much as I hated the way the arc turned out, I could still understand Chloe siding with Hawkmoth, as it was clear that Hawkmoth was manipulating her and taking advantage of her ego. Lila? Ladybug's mean to her one time, and that inspires her to conspire with a complete stranger who brainwashes people to attack the city, which endangers innocent people and causes God knows how much in collateral damage if not for Miraculous Ladybug fixing everything.

I just don't get how a single negative interaction with someone is enough to conspire with a literal supervillain. Even in Season 3, when Marinette and Lila truly became enemies, it was because she risked exposing all the lies she told, which could damage her reputation. Sure, it's petty, but it makes sense for Lila to want to keep up the illusion. If she was simply an antagonist to Marinette in her civilian life like Chloe was before “Miracle Queen” , I'd be fine with that, but the writers clearly want her to be seen as on the same level of evil as Hawkmoth. I'll get into why that doesn't work later on.

Why Lila is an Excellent Liar

In my Master Fu analysis, I had pointed out that despite all the flaws he had, the narrative insisted on portraying him as an incredibly wise mentor. The same problem applies for Lila as well. We're supposed to see Lila as an expert manipulator and liar, but her lies are insultingly obvious. She always claims to be friends with celebrities and does all these awesome things, and in an age where we can have almost any question answered thanks to the internet, nobody ever stops to question her.

It's even more frustrating when you hear Lila talk about saving Jagged Stone's cat, when Jagged Stone is established to be very fond of Marinette (evidentially more than his own daughter), and nobody ever points that out. I think if Lila's lies were more stories about her travels around the world than outright lies about real people, it could have worked. It'd still be hard to believe, but it's something.

But this is a problem with writing shows aimed at children. As much as we hate writers who need to spell out things to kids, sometimes, they just don't understand some of the media they consume. Seriously, I never got this joke in SpongeBob as a kid, and I can't believe Nickelodeon actually approved this.

So the dilemma when writing a show with children in mind is finding that sweet spot between assuming your audience can figure it out, but not being too vague in your details. It's even harder when you need to find a way to convey the fact that someone is lying without being too obvious. Unfortunately, the show clearly fails to do that

Okay, this is going to sound like an incredibly weird thing to cite, and I only know about it because I used to know someone who was a huge fan of the franchise, but the movie Monster High: Friday Night Frights does a better job of subtly explaining to the audience that a character is lying. Please, just hear me out.

The movie follows the main characters competing in their high school's roller derby for the season after everyone on the usual team gets injured, and the championship match is against another school whose team tends to cheat to win matches. How they manage to do this without getting caught is anyone's guess. While the main characters are practicing, their coach, Clawd, notices a spy for the enemy team taking video of them to study their moves. In response, he calls over one of the athletes, Operetta, to chew her out for her showboating attitude. In reality, he's alerting her to the spy. Only using facial expressions, he clues her, and by extension, the audience, in on the fact that they know what the opposing team is trying to do.

This soon leads to Operetta pretending to tell the enemy team about their secret plan for the championship match, which was really an attempt to outsmart them to gain the advantage in the final stretch. The brilliance of this is how the audience is informed of this with no dialogue, and there's no scene afterwards spelling it out for those who don't get it. It manages to convey deception without being too obvious that Clawd and Operetta are being deceitful.

I think if there were more subtle hints to show the audience Lila was lying, she would be seen in a better light. As it is, Lila's lies are just pathetic, and it's ridiculous that everyone believes her. Which leads me to...

Lila, the Master Manipulator

I once read a Star Trek: Voyager fanfic that poked fun at the series by claiming that the reason a lot of the dumber episodes like “Threshold” and “Twisted” happened was because one of the crew members was an alien who unintentionally produced mood altering pheromones, with Captain Janeway actually realizing they were all high because of said pheromones, while two of the unaffected crew members were wondering what the hell they were doing before they found out the cause. Why do I bring this up? Sometimes, it feels like Lila is an unintentional parallel to the alien in that story.

Like so many characters, it's clear the show desperately wants the audience to view Lila in a certain way, but her actions do very little to actually back up that claim. When she's not using lies to tell stories about so many famous people she knows like her uncle who works for Nintendo, Lila is using strategies to manipulate everyone that are so obviously deceptive, the Thermians could pick up on them. Everyone and their mother knows how ridiculous a lot of what Lila does in episodes like “Chameleon” and “Ladybug” are, and I've talked about them before, so I'll try to be quick.

First off, as someone who had access to accommodations through high school and has had assistance in college so far, there is no way in hell that Ms. Bustier should take Lila's tinnitus at face value in “Chameleon”. If a student has a disability that could interfere with the education process, physical or developmental, not only does the school have to evaluate their performance, and determine if they're eligible for an Individualized Education Program, or IEP, but her teachers would have to be notified in the first place. As her primary educator, Ms. Bustier would be part of the team to oversee Lila's IEP and determine what accommodations she needs to help her learn better with her tinnitus and arthritis. But because the writers don't know what Google is, they just ignore it,  assume that Lila can just say she has a disability, and have everyone believe it. Even when Eric Cartman pretended to be disabled to compete in the Special Olympics, he put in more effort to look the part, even if he looked like a caricature.

Then there's the fact that that in “Chameleon”, everyone just believes Lila when she says Marinette stole her grandmother's necklace when not only is said necklace from the Agreste line of jewelry, but Alya, who is Rena Rouge, can't pick up on the fact that it's a fake. All she does to justify these lies is come up with a sob story about how nobody believes her, yet nobody ever tries to defend Marinette except Alya one time, and it was after she got expelled.

Or what about in “Oni-Chan”, where Lila thinks having Kagami kill Ladybug while claiming she'll back away from Adrien is a good idea? Let's say Oni-Chan does kill Ladybug or at least take away her Miraculous, what then? We know Lila wouldn't go through with this promise, and as soon as Kagami sees her harassing Adrien, she'll be ripe for akumatization again. Overall, not a great plan.

And yet somehow, this last example is what made her worthy enough to become one of Hawkmoth's most trusted agents. I'm just going to say it: Lila is not a good fit for the power of illusion. Whenever she's Volpina or Chameleon, she always goes out of her way to make a big show instead of being subtle with her deceptions. “Chameleon” is the worst offender, as even though Lila gets the power to shapeshift into someone else, instead of being discreet and cornering people into kissing them and gaining their appearance, she just runs around to get Ladybug's attention instead of being subtle. Even Felix had the bright idea to pretend to be Adrien to catch Ladybug off guard. How do you lose to something that happened in “Felix”?

Despite all of these screw-ups, we're still supposed to see her as this master of deception worthy of allying with Hawkmoth in both his supervillain and civilian form, when really, she's a terrible liar on the schoolyard and on the battlefield.

Why Lila is an Important Character

In the grand scheme of things, Lila just isn't as important of a character that the show loves to parade her around as. She's nothing more than a plot device used to raise the stakes in an episode, given how much reality seems to bend over just to accommodate for her lies. Even when the show alludes to her being part of bigger things, like her deal with Adrien, or her rivalry with Marinette, they don't even go anywhere.

She just feels pointless when you remember Astruc's brilliant idea to force Chloe into being the final Akuma for the season while Lila isn't even mentioned once. She only really makes appearances whenever the writers feel like it, which is why it’s hard to take her seriously. Why should I take this character seriously as a threat if the writers refuse to take her seriously as a threat? Why build Lila up as a big threat and not give her a major role in the finale? Why even include her in the show in the first place when you could show Chloe being more manipulative to fill in the plots Lila plays a big part in?

As of the time I am writing this analysis, four episodes of Season 4 have aired, three of them have been about lies or deception, and Lila hasn't been mentioned at all. It honestly seems like she won't appear unless the writers need a easy way to drive up the conflict, so they can justify it by saying that Lila's “superpower” of lying is more powerful than the common sense of everyone else.

I'm sorry this post was shorter than the last one, but compared to Master Fu, there's not that much to say about Lila that I haven't already said. Even the show barely gives her any attention, so it's hard for me to really find a lot to talk about.

[itsclydebitches]

Rewatching RWBY there's this chilling lack of empathy through the volumes that I used to just wave off. Yang has no empathy for Tai, Blake is just entirely about what Blake needs, Weiss almost kills a woman at a party and her takeaway is 'my dad is mean so I'm going to run away'. Qrow sinks hard into depression in vol. 6 and Ruby's reaction is to yell she's never needed him. No one has EVER helped a civilian. It's so prevelant. Knowing how 7&8 go really changes the earlier writing.

I think there was a great deal of well-written empathy in the early volumes — after all, this cast was designed as the kind, well-meaning heroes — but that care was expressed almost solely within the group itself. Ruby sits by Jaune in the hallway and says "Nope!" to his self doubt. Weiss offers Ruby a hand up after she fails to kill the death stalker. Yang seeks out Blake and gets her to open up about what's bothering her. Now, I want to emphasize that there's nothing inherently wrong with this. It actually makes perfect sense. These are our main characters and they're written as peers co-habiting the same space. Of course whatever emotional growth we get, which automatically includes moments of compassion, would be directed towards each other. Similarly, the dynamics originally introduced — that of teachers and parents — likewise (rightly) puts the burden on the adults to provide the comfort, not the other way around. Port snaps Weiss out of her arrogant mindset. Ozpin reassures Ruby about her leadership worries. Tai is there to support his daughter when she's recovering from a lost limb. That's the natural order of things, so to speak.

The problem, to my mind, begins to occur when the group exits those dynamics. They're no longer students, they're licensed huntsmen. They're no longer kids, but equals who never needed adults in the first place. They're no longer doing things for themselves and their friends on personal downtime, they're doing them for the community at large as a profession (to say nothing of the world-altering war they've insisted on shouldering responsibility for). That's what a huntsmen is meant to be, a defender of the people, not someone who uses that power for personal interests alone. All of this is a huge change from where we started out: cutesy kids going off on comparatively low-stakes adventures because one or more of their teammates are invested, only just beginning to realize that they're signing up for a job where their desires come second (that fireside conversation at Mountain Glenn).

This change invites — demands, really — that the audience read them differently too. Qrow's spiral in Volume 6 is a good example of this. If Ruby is demanding to be treated not just as an equal in terms of maturity and experience, but also as the primary leader of this group, then the viewer expects her to treat her uncle as an equal too, not dismiss his hardship. I've seen numerous fans defend that arc with some version of, "He's her uncle. He's supposed to take care of her. He's failing" but that, according to the show, is no longer the dynamic. Qrow is now just a member of Ruby's team, someone she's responsible for as their leader. It's easiest to see the problem if we switch out Qrow for any of the other members. If Blake developed a drinking problem, do we think Ruby would just shout at her until she magically got over it? If Jaune endangered the group, do we think they'd all be angry about it, rather than trying to figure out the source of what caused the mistake? We don't even need to think hypothetically for that one because we saw it on screen. Jaune attacked Oscar and drove him off, not just threatening him, but arguably endangering the whole team by requiring a search party. Fans have long insisted they had to steal that airship right then because being in Argus was too much of a risk, but if we buy that reading (which I personally don't, but), then that means Jaune made things exponentially worse by forcing them out into that super dangerous city, rather than allowing everyone to stay hidden inside. He made a massive mistake which, according to the logic of Qrow's arc, should be met with frustration, disdain, and eventual demands to get over his anger at Ozpin or ship out. But, of course, he received nothing but concern. Yang was worried about him, not Oscar. The search becomes about his grief for Pyrrha and his team's willingness (as well as Pyrrha's family member) to provide more comfort. Suddenly, the tendency to express care solely towards those within the group becomes a flaw the story won't acknowledge.

And then it spirals. The thing to remember is that no single act here is bad on its own, especially when we consider that yes, we want flawed characters. Rather, it's about the pattern. Ruby is allowed to get mad at Qrow for his behavior and chuck her scroll in frustration. She's human. I'd be crazy frustrated too. However, if Ruby is meant to be written as a caring, sympathetic character, she should not only respond to the situation with frustration, yelling, a refusal to listen, and demands that he follow her lead, no questions asked. We can, and should, acknowledge that Weiss was the victim during that party. Her father was hurting her, the woman was beyond insensitive, Weiss was triggered in regards to a horrific event, and her power acted on its own. However, if we want to write Weiss as a compassionate, mature huntress to-be, she should acknowledge that she nearly killed someone — even an asshole someone — and vow to work on her control because she's not willing to put someone in danger like that ever again. Both of these moments have a "They could have been handled better" response attached to them — the former more-so than the latter imo — but these moments are made far, far worse due to later events in the show, events where the characters are cruel without any justification attached. Weiss didn't mean to attack that woman, but she did mean to ignore Whitely and threaten him with her weapon. So once we see that, it informs our understanding of what came before it. "Oh. The fact that Weiss never reacted to nearly killing someone isn't just a bit of missed potential, it's an early indicator that she... doesn't seem to care. If she endangers people, threatens people... that's fine with her." The group has a right to be frustrated with Qrow. The group did not have the right to magically steal Ozpin's entire life story, assault him, and blame him for the world's problems until he felt his only course of action was to run from them. So when we see that it becomes, "Oh. The fact that the group treated Qrow so poorly isn't just a one-time mistake born of a stressful situation and young adults being out of their depth in regards to alcoholism. They really will just abandon anyone the moment they start making mistakes." Anyone outside of their group, that is.

To say nothing of how all of these moments interconnect. Yang's recovery isn't just about getting used to not having an arm, it's about getting used to having a new one. Weiss' party isn't just about nearly killing someone, it's about not committing manslaughter because someone else stepped in. The Volume 6 arc isn't just about trying to escape with the Relic, it's about trying to get it somewhere safe. Fans frustrated with Ironwood's treatment don't harp on these details out of some desperate attempt to make him look good post-murder spree, rather, they recognize that he's a character that's been around since nearly the beginning, originally written as a good guy, and thus has accumulated a number of key connections with the cast. So when none of those connections are acknowledged during an arc about trust... that makes the group look very uncaring. Yang doesn't care that he gave her the arm, Weiss doesn't care that he saved her from hurting/potentially killing someone, Qrow doesn't care that he's trusted Ironwood for years (in a rival-bros way) and that they've been heading towards him this whole time. And when Ironwood begins to spiral, they don't do anything to try and help him, let alone acknowledge that their own choices, that lack of trust and empathy, had a hand in getting them here. "But it's not their responsibility to fix him!" Isn't it? Even a little? Just as human beings seeing an ally struggling under horrific decisions and circumstances? Sure, they don't have to try... but that doesn't make them look very heroic to my mind. And we can't even shrug that off by simplifying things with, "Well, Ironwood is evil now so who cares about him." They simultaneously don't care about finding Qrow who is missing, then captured. They don't do anything to try and find their missing teammates, with the exception of sending May to do it instead. They don't help the army fight off the grimm. Don't try to make sure Pietro and Maria had portals to escape through. Barely hesitate when the newly resurrected characters goes, "Kill me. That's the easiest thing for everyone." And these are just a few of the big ticket moments. It doesn't even begin to cover all the details we get that paint a picture of, "Wow okay. They just really don't care about people outside the group, huh? I mean, they say they do, in a life-or-death way, but they're not putting forth effort to show it on a daily basis."

And if you pick up on all that, if you acknowledge how much the group has changed based on where they started out, you might wonder when in the world that started. Surely we didn't just flip a switch around Volume 6. So you re-watch early stuff and, sure enough, there are moments that feel like setup for what's to come later. Not intentional setup (quite obviously), but a lack of care towards details across the series that, once the dynamic changed, became far, far more pronounced. Characters should be at least somewhat recognizable from start to finish, especially characters who have only experienced about two years of in-world time, so if we now get to see Ruby blandly commenting on all the people who are dying, or Weiss using her weapon as a means of coercing her little brother into doing what she wants, or Yang and Jaune dismissing Ren until he gives in to their point of view... we're going to look for the beginnings of that behavior early on. As you say, we were able to wave all those little details off due to a number of important factors. Now though? Now they feel like they hold a lot more weight, simply by virtue of that early material proceeding what we have now.

[fairestwriting]

Hello~ I heard you like angst? Can I request a reader getting amnesia, forgetting that they're in a relationship with Riddle, Azul, Leona (separated of course) and falling in with another student? Sorry for any grammar error.

angst is my shit. and your grammar is fine, dont worry!

+ if you like my writing, you can buy me a ko-fi to support me!

Riddle Rosehearts

Gets this feeling of dread when he hears about the amnesia, but swears to himself that he won’t let his emotions get the best of him in this situation. He’ll do everything in his power to get your memory back, but he doesn’t want you to feel pressured to live a life you don’t remember living.

Reintroducing himself to you specifically kind of kills him. The confused blink you give him as you tell him his name is just something that gets to him, so much he can’t really handle holding the following conversation for too long. He keeps thinking about how the two of you were not too long ago, and how you just became strangers like this...

But he’s nice to you. He tells you about your amnesia and your previous life without mentioning your relationship, if you were strangers now he couldn’t force himself onto you. He says he’s trying to help get your memory back, but he’s clearly so worried about it that you can’t help but feel smothered in a way.

Meanwhile, you’re spending your days hearing about how strict and tyrannical the Heartslabyul dorm leader is, yet not understanding where everything came from. No one really dares to tell you you two had been dating, because of how adamant Riddle seemed to be regarding not telling you too much.

So you end up just not thinking about it much. Days pass and it seems more and more unlikely you won’t remember your previous life. You start feeling comfortable with it, it’s not like things are bad -- And the students of NRC are surprisingly sympathetic to your condition, especially one specific boy that made sure he’d be there for you everytime, one you end up falling for.

You two begin dating. You barely think about your amnesia anymore. Riddle is checking up on you one day when you tell him about the relationship, and he goes pale when he hears about it. How did something like this happen when he was doing everything he was supposed to? Riddle doesn’t know. But he swallows down all the pain, and congratulates you for your relationship. He’ll still help, but... nothing will be the same again, will it?

Azul Ashengrotto

He was trying to hopeful and patient about everything. Hearing that you’d forgotten about everything, including that you were together, obviously left his heart broken, but he was hoping you’d get your memory back eventually. There’s no way this would last forever, right?

He knows how amnesia works, he won’t be insisting that you give him any attention you don’t feel like giving in your state. He can wait for you to remember everything, surely, so while you’re still confused, he lingers around and acts sweet, but tries to keep a healthy distance. He’s praying everyday that you just remember him so everything could go back to normal, but he’s willing to do this so you don’t get uncomfortable.

But the better days just never come -- And to make everything worse, you’re unsettled by him. You hear the rumors about how scummy he is and you keep your distance. Azul doesn’t know what to do, it’s like the more he hopes for you to remember him, the more unlikely that it’ll happen it becomes.

And yet he keeps hoping, even beginning to research magic that could possibly help you at one point, and then... he hears about you getting together with someone else, and it’s like the floor falls down under his feet. How? He just can’t believe it’s happening. You were supposed to remember him. Things were supposed to go back to normal.

Azul isn’t one to give up, but this... just takes out all the hope from him. Maybe you two weren’t meant to be after all. Maybe you just didn’t like him even back when you were together. Maybe, maybe, maybe -- And he gives up on everything, you’ll just be happier with them, right?

Leona Kingscholar

Not nearly as tactful. When he’s told about your amnesia he’s... angry, almost, he feels like he should have done something to stop it even if you got it in a situation he couldn’t do anything about.

His bad mood is visible. He hears he shouldn’t be pressuring you about remembering your old life, especially regarding relationships like the one you two had, but he doesn’t listen to it. He outright reintroduces himself as your boyfriend and says that he’d get your memory back. He’s not thinking when he does this.

The thing about Leona in his situation is that he isn’t good at it. He’s not comforting and while he wants to give you space, seeing you looking at him like a stranger hurts more than most anything he’s ever experienced. He wants things to be how they used to be, but you don’t remember that, and sometimes he catches himself not thinking about that too, until he himself remembers your condition.

He’s arguing with staff often, trying to get them to find a way to get your memory back. Willing to pay them if that’s what he needs to do to motivate them to research. You might find yourself at Crowley’s office, testing different potions and spells to just be normal again.

But with the way you are now, even though you know you’ve lost a part of your life, you start sort of hating all these efforts to bring “old you” back. Life is fine the way it is now, isn’t it? You’ve been rebuilding your friendships and everything, and while you were curious about how things were before, it’s not like you hate it now.

You rebuilding yourself peaks when you fall in love with someone, cementing your thought that you were satisfied with how things were now. You tell Leona about it bluntly, tired of all the fussing around you. And you argue, of course you’d argue -- But even as Leona argues with you, he already knows he’s lost. You close the door right behind you and he’s left in his room with this void in his chest.

[yandere-daydreams]

Twelve Days of Christmas - Day Six

Prompt: Hot Chocolate.

Pairing: Yandere!Jamil/Reader (Twisted Wonderland).

TW: Kidnapping, Imprisonment, Mentions of Physical Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Mentions of Mind Control, and Implied Non-Consensual Drug Use.

“I brought you something.”

You knew that. Your room was so quiet, so devoid of life other than yourself, you could hear his footsteps halfway down the nearest hall, his quiet swears as he struggled to unlock the deadbolts on your door with a single hand, all the little, almost unnoticeable tells that were so different from his usual, silent approach. You knew that, and yet, you didn’t look up as he came to a stop in front of you, keeping your eyes fixed on the sheets beneath your crossed legs. You knew better than to look at him, by now. You knew better than to hope you could trust him, by now.

And luckily, he knew better than to expect you to.

Still, there was a sigh, a slight noise of disappointment as he moved something into your line of sight – a ceramic mug, painted a deep red and crafted without a handle, warm to the touch as you took it out of his hand. You didn’t say anything, but you didn’t have to, not when Jamil was more than willing to bridge the gap on your behalf. It was a worrying method, especially from him, the type to prefer a forceful shove over a delicate nudge in the right direction, but you couldn’t help but be thankful for the slight reprieve. “Hot chocolate,” He explained, as he perched himself on the edge of your bed at your side. “Or, the closest thing I could find, at least. I know how much you used to like it while we were in Night Raven, but people try to avoid it here, for obvious reasons.”

Right. Because you weren’t in Night Raven, anymore. Because you’d graduated, and now, you couldn’t even be sure if you were in the same kingdom. Jamil liked to keep you in the dark, about that. He probably thought it’d make it harder for you to run away. You didn’t see the point, honestly.

You’d given up on trying to escape weeks ago. There wasn’t really a point, not when Jamil always made sure the punishment outweighed the risk.

You spared a glance towards the drink, steam still rising off the top, then to his thigh where it pressed against yours. You were tempted to move away, but he usually didn’t take to distance so kindly. “And this is supposed to make me love you?”

There was a shift, a slight deflation. If you didn’t know better, you might’ve thought he was genuinely upset. “I’m open to suggestions, if you have any.” Calloused fingers wrapped around your wrist, his grip not tight, but firm enough to hold you steady when you tried to flinch away. “Try it. I doubt it’ll give you another reason to hate me.”

Even so, you were always willing to try.

It was closer to cinnamon than it was to chocolate, thick but sweet, traces of honey and coconut mixed with spices you couldn’t recognized. You took a generous sip, then another, letting yourself savor the reminder of your home at Ramshackle, of the career and friends and life Jamil’d seen fit to tear you away from. It was something you liked to linger on, in a masochistic, self-destructive sort of way. It was a sore spot, but one you could stand to abuse, one that reminded you not to lean into him as he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side with an unearned intimacy. 

A month ago, he would’ve dug his nails into your hip, growling for you to do the same. A few days ago, he would’ve lost his temper the moment you shrunk into yourself, the moment you made it clear how little you cared for him, but right now, he seemed resigned to your reluctance, barely shaking his head If he wanted anything else, you couldn’t tell, but that might’ve been what you liked least about Jamil. You could never tell what he wanted, even on the rare occasion he was willing to tell you. You had a feeling this wasn’t any different, even if he was making an effort to act a little more sympathetic, today.

“I didn’t think this would be permanent,” He admitted, warm breath fanning against the crook of your neck. You tried not to listen, to focus on your drink and the paint chipping on the farthest wall, but there wasn’t much you could do to block him out. He’d always been good at that - making himself the center of your world, even when you tried to divert your attention. “I thought you’d come around, eventually, and it’s not like I wanted to treat you like a prisoner. It’s just, I know you’ve never cared about me, not like I care about you, and… and it got so frustrating.” He was smart enough to stop there, to grit his teeth and choke down a ragged inhale, and for the first time, you thought you could’ve felt bad for him. It was something closer to pity than guilt, but the sensation managed to burn itself out quickly. The locks on your door and the unused chains coiled at the end of your bed made it easier. “I was irritated. I was angry. I felt like I didn’t have another option. I thought you’d come around, but—”

“But, I didn’t,” You finished, and Jamil’s hold on you tightened. “You kidnapped me. You're holding me against my will, and you can’t even say you regret it.”

He didn’t hesitate. If nothing else, you’d give him that. He knew what he wanted, and he was self-aware enough to realize you’d never believe otherwise. “I regret that you’re unhappy,” He said, his voice nearly soft enough to be inaudible. “But I only did what I had to. I’m only doing what I have to. The thought of so many people being able to look at you, out there, the thought of anyone being able to put their hands on you…” He trailed off, but that only seemed to strength his resolve. He didn’t sound as unsure as he had, when he continued. “I wouldn’t be able to stand it. It’s better, this way. For both of us.”

You wanted to yell at him. You wanted to scream. You might’ve, you genuinely, genuinely might’ve, but as soon as you moved to open your mouth, you realized you couldn’t. It was like your body had grown heavier, in the space between one second and another, like he’d found a way replace you blood with liquid mercury. For a moment, a jolt of muted dread flooded into your system at the idea that he could’ve found a way to cast a spell without meeting your eyes, but this felt different from Snake Whisper, it felt worse. His magic would’ve left you suppressed in your own body, forced into a corner of your mind. Like this, you just felt hazy. In control, but unable to do anything with that control. You felt…

You felt weak.

Your form went limp, but Jamil wasn’t kind enough to let you fall. The mug slipped from your hands, its scalding contents spilling over your mattress, but if he noticed, he didn’t seem to care. Distantly, you could hear him laughing, an airy chuckle that only seemed to become more deafening as he pulled you into his lap, your head soon resting against his chest and his fingers in your hair, showing you all the affection he’d been kind enough to hold back, until now. “You’ll see that, with time. I’m the only one who deserves you, the only one who’s ever going to take care of you. You’ll realize that.”

You almost wished he’d been kind enough to hypnotize you. At least then, you wouldn’t have to feel his lips press against the top of you head, his grin only growing sharper as you failed to resist.

“You’ll have to see how much you need me, once you don’t have another choice.”

[bumbleleewrites]

Cotton Candy

Written using this prompt. Thank you, @soft--dragon ! (Kudos on your latest fic, by the way. I was blushing./pos) Summary: After the theme park vlog, Wilbur steals Tommy’s leftover cotton candy. Tommy tries to take it back, but Wilbur puts him in his place. [IRL, family dynamics] Lee!Tommy, Ler!Wilbur, Philza

Word Count: 2k A/N: I have not written something this long in a LONG time, so this had better be good./lh

The trip to Alton Towers had made for an exhausting day for everyone. For Phil, it was the effort needed to supervise the two hyper boys that had tired him. For Wilbur, it was pestering Tommy and keeping up with the teen that had taken most of his energy. For Tommy, however, it was a combination of things. The constant activity and racing around the park had been exhausting, for sure. But the day had been extremely emotionally draining, as well. Between the constant anxiety the intense rides caused him, and being rejected by the girl from his school, it had certainly been a lot for one day. Wilbur and Phil noticed this, so after retrieving their remaining buckets of cotton candy, they immediately headed home. 

Tommy was reserved and toneless the entire car ride, hardly speaking and only half heartedly chuckling when someone made a joke. When they had finally unpacked their things and entered Wilbur’s home, nothing changed. He had just simply shuffled his feet over to the couch and flopped onto it. He was half laying down, with one leg on the sofa and one hanging off it lazily. After the other two had finished putting everything away, having been too sympathetic to bother the youngest any more, they entered the room themselves. Wilbur sat cautiously next to Tommy, clasping his hands together and rubbing his thumbs nervously. He glanced at Tommy briefly then looked away, sighing. Phil, meanwhile, chose a comfortable armchair parallel to them. He leaned forward and stared at the floor, knowing the boy would want some space. 

The trio sat awkwardly in silence as the faint sound of a clock ticking could be heard in the distance. Minutes went by, before Tommy finally cracked. He sat up a bit and gazed around the room. The other two looked at him, hoping for him to say something. “So,” Tommy started, “That was fun.” Wilbur smiled, relieved, and replied, “Yeah, it was.” “Definitely,” the eldest added.

Tommy exhaled.

“You know, I think we still have some cotton candy left,” said Phil, attempting to cheer him up.

He grinned before rising to retrieve it. Tommy immediately perked up at the promise of more sugar, matching his posture to Wilbur’s with his hands clasped excitedly. The brunet snickered and rolled his eyes. Their heads both snapped over to Phil, whose footsteps had alerted them to his return. He held a bright yellow tub in his hand and shook it theatrically. “Here, enjoy your diabetes,” he joked, before tossing it in Tommy’s direction. The boy in question, however, was unprepared. He jumped when the container bounced off his shoulder before it rebounded and rolled towards Wilbur. The taller one snatched it and made a move to open it, placing his fingers on the corner of the lid. “Hey, hey!” Tommy yelled, leaning over to grab it. Wilbur saw him and stretched out his arm to hold it away from him, smirking playfully. The youngest whined. “Phil threw that to me! C’mon, Phil, tell him.” The eldest laughed lightly. “Well, Wilbur did buy it. And you don’t need all that sugar, anyway!”

“Yeah, Tommy, listen to Dadza,” Wilbur quipped, bringing the tub back towards his chest. 

Tommy groaned and pounced on him, pushing his arm down to try to grab it. 

“Give it!” he shouted. 

Wilbur grinned cheekily and transferred the tub into his other hand, holding it above his head. “You bitch!” Tommy cried, grabbing onto the other’s shoulders in an attempt to gain leverage. The brunet yelled and batted at Tommy with his free hand. “Tommy, stop it!” he complained, smiling, still trying to lightly push him away. 

Tommy let out a strangled squeak when he felt Wilbur brush against his side. He suddenly flinched away, falling back onto the arm of the sofa. The other two laughed knowingly, and shared a look, before Wilbur threw the cotton candy back to Phil and leaned over Tommy.

“The hell was that?” Wilbur smirked. “Sh-shut up!” he replied, about to stand up to retrieve his cotton candy from Phil. Wilbur was too quick, however, and promptly squeezed the boy’s side. Tommy recoiled with a shriek, and the other two chuckled at his reaction. Wilbur beamed excitedly at him. “Tommy, you’re ticklish!” he exclaimed. The blond blushed lightly and shoved him. “Oh, this is too good,” Wilbur continued. He leaned over and pushed Tommy’s shoulder into the couch, preventing his escape. The boy squirmed, but was simply too tired for it to do anything. Wilbur placed his free hand on Tommy’s side, tapping his fingers against it menacingly. “Wilbur, c’mon, I- you can keep the cotton candy!” he protested. He reached up to shove at his chest, but was interrupted by the tapping turning into light scratching. He bucked in surprise and bit his lip, trying to keep in the laughter that was threatening to spill out. Wilbur tilted his head thoughtfully. “I have a feeling this isn’t a good spot for you,” he said. Nonetheless, he brought his other hand down to the boy’s other side and began spidering up and down them. Tommy let out a titter, his face becoming more flushed by the second. “Tommy, you can laugh!” Wilbur teased, but he meant it genuinely as well. The blond was conflicted, not knowing whether to feel reassured or flustered, but began giggling regardless. Wilbur hummed, pleased with himself, while Phil cooed at him from afar. “Aw, Tommy! I’ve never heard you laugh like that! It’s really charming,” Phil complimented. “Nohohoho Phihil behehe quihihiet!” Tommy yelled. 

Wilbur slowed down a bit, and turned to look at the oldest man. “Hey, Phil?” he asked. “Yeah?” “I don’t think Tommy here is laughing nearly as much as he could be,” he said. He began poking the boy’s sides, producing light squeaks that were peppered in with his laughter. “I don’t think so either,” responded Phil lightheartedly, “Try his stomach!” ‘Phihihl yohohou bihihitch!” complained Tommy, as Wilbur accepted the suggestion and scribbled against the center of the boy’s abdomen. His laughter increased in volume as he sucked in his stomach, shifting side to side. “Aw, is this spot worse for you, Toms?” Wilbur asked tauntingly. The blond’s flush grew redder.

“Nahah- fu- fuhuhuhuck ohohoff!” he stammered. The brunet only dug in harder, causing him to shriek. “Nice one, Phil!” said Wilbur, looking over to him. He smiled and chirped, “Thanks.” He sauntered back towards the armchair and sunk back into it, watching amusedly. “Just make sure you don’t kill him, yeah?” The brunet chuckled and returned his gaze to Tommy’s flushed face. The younger boy weakly hit his hands, still laughing desperately. “Don’t worry, I won’t,” he responded, slowly lifting his fingers off the boy, but keeping them wiggling. He smirked smugly, making a big show of slowly trailing his eyes over his body. Tommy’s laughter slowed, but he remained giggling in anticipation. “Now, where should I go next?...” he asked.

Tommy shook his head. He reached up to grab Wilbur’s hands, who pulled them away and tutted. The tallest’s arms were now raised so that his hands remained near his own face, shaped into claws. “Alright, Dampza, the choice is yours!” said Wilbur, in a tone comparable to that of a game show host’s. Tommy whined and covered his face. “Phil, Philza no!” he pleaded. Phil hummed thoughtfully. “PHIL!” he shouted, trying to push himself off the couch. Wilbur wrapped his arm around him, blocking his escape, and he groaned. “C’mon, Phil, he’s getting squirmy,” said the brunet. “His ribs, then,” he decided. Tommy shouted as Wilbur quickly slithered his hands under his t-shirt and began squeezing at his ribs. Too exhausted to put up a fight, he dissolved into shrieky laughter and arched his back slightly. His hands remained hiding his constant smile, and the way his eyelids squinted shut. “Is this one bad too, Tommy? Tell me, where’s been the most ticklish from where I’ve tried so far?” 

A coral tinge spread to Tommy’s ears. “Wihihil!” he shouted, as the man began vibrating his fingers into the slight gaps there, “Wihihihl! Pleahaha- plehehease nohohot thehehehre!” “Not there?” he mocked, throwing a glance at Phil, “Where shall I move, then?” “WIHILBUHUHUR NOHO!” “Armpits,” the eldest responded. He was still smiling fondly at the pair’s antics. “WIHIL PLEHEHEASE NOHOHO!” “Begging already, hm? That must be a gold mine, then. I’ll save it for later,” Wilbur teased. He slowly dragged his nail’s down the boy’s skin, causing him to giggle and shift his hips from side to side. Wilbur noticed this and snickered, placing his hands on them. “Well these are just begging for my attention now, aren’t they?” Tommy whined tiredly. His eyes shot open then closed again when he felt Wilbur’s hands drill into his hips. He howled, thrashing back and forth. His movements were so intense, however, that he started to slip off the sofa. Phil suddenly looked over concernedly, leaning forward in case he needed to swoop in. Tommy’s torso was halfway onto the floor when he felt Wilbur’s firm hand leave his hip and scoop him up by his back. The brunet stopped and gave the boy an enthused grin. Tommy panted in between his faint giggles. “Alright, Wilbur, maybe it’s time for him to have a break,” the eldest spoke up. Wilbur nodded. “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. There’s just one more thing I’d like to try,” he replied. He grabbed Tommy’s hands and held them above his head. “Ready?” “For whaHAH WIHIHIBUHUHUR NAHAHAH!” he shrieked, as the man shot his hands into his armpits and wiggled his fingers. Tommy’s arms darted down to his sides. He quickly realized, however, that this would only trap Wilbur’s hands there. He raised his arms and shoved at him feebly as his laughter began to turn silent. “Wil,” Phil warned, about to stand up to intervene. 

Wilbur recognized it was getting to be too much. He abruptly stopped and carefully sat back on his place on the couch. Tommy caught his breath before sitting up and glaring weak daggers at the older boy. Wilbur and Phil both stared at him adoringly. “You,” he wheezed, “You bitch!” Wilbur reached over and squeezed his knee warningly. Tommy recoiled with a small squeak that made the others coo and him blush. He pouted and crossed his arms, averting his eyes.

“I hate you both,” he mumbled. Phil leaned far over and ruffled his hair, at which the boy groaned with a poorly hidden smile. “No, you don’t,” smiled the other blond. “Yeah, Tommy, you love us!” Wilbur ribbed. Tommy rolled his eyes and gently shoved him. Phil sighed and shook his head fondly. He reached for the cotton candy, which had been shoved against his side, and leaned over to hand it to Tommy. He looked at Wilbur warningly while doing so. The brunet shrugged innocently, though a smirk remained on his face. Tommy’s eyes lit up and he accepted the offering gratefully, practically snatching it from Phil’s hands. “I thought you said he shouldn’t be having so much sugar!” quipped Wilbur. Tommy ignored him and continued to greedily open the tub. He dug out a large portion with his hands and shoved the fluffy blue substance into his mouth with a grin.

“After all that, I think he’s allowed,” Phil replied.

Wilbur smiled softly and scooted closer to Tommy, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. The boy flinched at first, but allowed himself to relax into the touch. “You want to watch a movie? Maybe Frozen?” asked Wilbur. Tommy smiled sheepishly at the fact that Wilbur had remembered him mentioning it earlier that day. “Mhm,” he responded, shoveling another handful of the sugary snack into his mouth. The brunet leaned forward to grab the remote and quickly lined up the film. Tommy leaned closer into him, and he beamed. The trio watched the movie peacefully that evening, poking fun at the overly dramatic parts and laughing when Wilbur attempted to sing along. And when Tommy fell asleep in Wilbur’s arms, with a nearly empty container in hand, they said nothing.

[palmett-hoes]

We Need To Talk About Kevin

excuse the silly title, but it’s time for another long character analysis, this time on a character who holds a complicated place in the fandom consciousness: kevin

like every other character in aftg, i have a lot of criticisms for the way that the fandom tends to characterize kevin, because i feel like it tends to reduce a very complicated character down into very binary terms, that of either anal-retentive comic relief or a perfect, underappreciated innocent, both of which ignore his important flaws and the nuance of his character arc throughout the trilogy

now this meta is probably going to sound very, very critical of kevin, as i am focusing on his flaws. but i want to be clear that i don’t hate kevin, i don’t even dislike him. in fact i far prefer the deeply “problematic” kevin from canon to the highly sanitized version in the fandom, just like i prefer my andrew violent and unethical, my neil rude and messy, and my upperclassmen ableist and permissibly homophobic

one thing i really LOVE about aftg is how hypocritical every character is, because it’s honest. they all stand for something but fall a little flat of it in practice. they all hold the people around them to standards they don’t hold themselves to

they’re not simple characters. they reflect their trauma in ways that are not pretty or harmless, and they even reflect wider societal flaws that may not be logical or justifiable.

just like i do.

just like you do.

just like real people do.

---

so with that all squared away: kevin

let’s start with this: what is the essence of kevin’s character? what does he stand for? what is he about? when you simplify him out into a single idea, what is he?

answers will vary, but for me, kevin is an analysis of the idea that you can have everything, you can be rich and famous and talented and immensely lucky on top of it all, and you can still be abused

neil repeats this idea over and over. how he’s jealous of kevin. how he resents kevin. how he wishes he were kevin. because kevin had everything and neil had nothing

remember this?

and this?

and this?

kevin the star. kevin the sensation. kevin the media darling.

lucky kevin, talented kevin, beloved kevin

and then neil gets a little bit closer and learns that that’s not the whole story. kevin was isolated, his worth tied to his performance, his whole personhood tied to exy. the perfect boy who was forbidden from being too perfect, who had to walk on eggshells so as not to incur the wrath of his brother and guardian

but at the same time that doesn’t totally erase everything he did have

i think the fandom focuses a lot on kevin’s inferiority complex from being assigned second best, and not nearly as much on the idea that kevin was SECOND BEST, above everyone else

the fact that kevin had power and sway in the nest makes us deeply uncomfortable, because it complicates kevin’s status as a victim, but it’s the truth. kevin was the third most powerful person in the nest, above dozens of ravens, and not even an owned person like jean

we should attempt to reckon with the fact that kevin was not a passive player in the ravens’ power structure, but someone who was actively involved and benefited from it. the ravens were his pawns, too. his subordinates, there to critique and punish as he saw fit. they weren’t his equals and he didn’t have to view them as fellow people

even if you choose not to believe that kevin took advantage of this power in the way riko did, you still have to accept that it very much shaped his perception and way of connecting with others, which is obvious in how he interacts with the foxes

so let’s talk about kevin and his superiority complex

kevin is arrogant, self-centered, and entitled

it’s not all he is. he has other, better qualities. he’s dedicated, passionate, and - in his own way - caring. that doesn’t ERASE his flaws however

kevin believes himself to be correct 100% of the time. he thinks that his methods and his opinions should work for everyone simply because they work for him, and he tries heavily to push them onto other people. andrew remarks that neil will drive himself crazy trying to do things the way kevin tells him to, because he is simply a different kind of player than kevin. kevin’s methodology will never work for neil no matter how hard he tries and will just end up holding himself back if he keeps trying

andrew notices this, not kevin, because kevin believes that neil is simply not trying hard enough to do things the “right” way.

neil.

who tries harder than anyone to live up to kevin’s standards

he’s worse with the rest of the foxes, who unlike neil do not accept his methods unquestionably and don’t do backflips to make him happy.

the foxes recognize that kevin is talented and could have valuable things to teach them. kevin however thinks that he should have absolute authority over their training because his methods are “superior.” he thinks the foxes fail because they don’t listen to him and conform their playing styles to him

kevin also only approaches the upperclassmen on the court, and even there only with criticism and derision. he has never made any attempt to befriend them or get to know them in any way. he doesn’t need a rapport with them, he’s entitled to their obedience simply because he’s Kevin Day, The Son of Exy, The Best And Most Talented Of Them All

i’ve also written meta before about the assumptions kevin makes in his relationship with andrew. they have a deal that kevin will give andrew something to live for after he graduates. kevin, being who he is, decides that this thing MUST and WILL be exy, no matter how directly or indirectly andrew tells him this isn’t what he wants.

yet kevin never considers an alternative. he never asks andrew what he might want or never attempts to find anything else for him. they spend nearly every second of every day within arms reach of each other, yet kevin has never taken a moment to pay attention to andrew’s interests or preferences, anything that makes him tick. they know almost nothing personal about each other because kevin doesn’t believe any of that matters in giving andrew a future that makes him want to live. no. if it works for kevin it must work for everyone else. if kevin wants it everyone else must want it too

kevin’s relationships often become exclusionary. first with andrew, which i’ve just discussed. then with neil, kevin continually vies for more and more of his time, without regard for his health or concern for any other part of his life. he leaves neil with minimal time for school, pushes their practices late into the night depriving him of sleep, and discourages his efforts to spend time and make connections with the upperclassmen

now if at any point while reading this you, reader, wanted to argue that these things are because of the nest and kevin’s raven indoctrination, yes, you’re absolutely right, they are. it’s abundantly clear where and how each of these qualities developed, but once again, that doesn’t mean they’re not present. in fact, the clear connection between kevin’s flaws and his trauma is a sign of good character writing, showing the multiple dimensions of how our environments and experiences shape us

kevin’s anxiety, his obsessiveness, and his fear all come from the nest, but so does his condescension, his self-involvement, and his overbearing nature.

kevin was raised in a cult, but he was also from the very highest level of it. he comes from immense privilege in terms of his wealth, his influence, his fame, and his access to resources. materially, kevin has wanted for very little in his life, and his entitlement is very prominent in his character. none of this cancels out the abuse he suffered, but it’s also something i very rarely see addressed outside of being hinted at vaguely in a jokingly dismissive manner.

in fact, i often see takes on kevin that fully deny he has these traits at all, and that annoys me. i don’t like to see these wonderfully round characters flattened out, and there’s a particular irritating irony out of changing or misinterpreting a character’s personality in order to make them more palatable or more sympathetic in a series about how even people traumatized in unsympathetic ways are still deserving of help and decency

so

kevin can be a little morally gray,, as a treat

[semischarmed]

Chrysalis, Part 2

“Yeah... Steph broke up with me.” I say to him, trying to bring some of the old Kyle’s feelings out to show some semblance of distress but there is nothing to bring out. Instead, I cannot help but go from a fake pout to a giggle. It obviously reads a bit creepy, but Red takes the awkward situation well, nervously laughing to match my giggling before giving a sympathetic grimace. “Oh man, I’m real sorry about that bro, I know you two were super close. Fuck Steph. Maybe we can hang out or do whatever dude, just kind of get your mind off things” he states, as he reaches for a shoulder pat. I reciprocate by pulling him into a hug, much to his surprise, stating “Thanks man, for everything, I don’t think I can be alone right now”. And I never will be.

“Yeah man, anything you need, I’m here for you.” He warmly replies back, giving me a pat on the back. In our embrace, I take a whiff at his chest, remaking on his flavor. Woodsy, fresh cut grass, just a bit acrid and the smell of fresh rain. God he smelled good. I took another deep inhale, moaning imperceptibly before trying to slip inside him. Instead, I am met with disappoint at my inability to get inside my big bro. He pushes me back from my extended embrace with a slight crinkle in his nose, again treating the awkward situation in stride. “But uh, maybe take a shower first” he laughs. 

———

Richard Levi- or “Red” as he was better known- was my Big Bro at Sig Chi. Though, from Kyle’s old memories, it actually wasn’t until I met him a fourth time that I found out his name wasn’t really just “Red”. Apparently, the previous frat president was also a Richard and a less confusing name had to be chosen for the then-freshman. The frat had taken to calling him ‘Red’, on account of his fiery red hair and soon after, the entire school had caught on. Though it was mean-spirited at first, Red never seemed to have been bothered by it, and by the time I arrived, there had only been one “Red” in the frat. Beyond that, my body knew very little about his Big Bro. From these memories it was fairly obvious that he has been trying to connect with the old Kyle after they had been paired, though Kyle was relatively disconnected in their conversations. I’m not even sure why the old Kyle stuck around with all the frat stuff to be honest, since apparently this seemed to occur with all the other members of the frat. If anything, Kyle seemed to only open up around Steph. That is, until I became Kyle. The new Kyle was confident. He was attentive. He was social. In a sense, Me being him had allowed for ‘Kyle’ to be greater than the sum of his parts, we succeeded in areas where the other could not. Where Kyle was oblivious, I was not. Where I could not succeed socially in school, my newly confident self as his body could. In a sense, we completed each other through my possession of him. And I loved every moment of it.

I’ve been living through my forever host Kyle for a few weeks now and it has been nothing short of fantasy. From hanging out with my frat bros to getting hazed to winning a few more games. All of it was worth it. All of it made life feel like life. Even the mundane feels great in his shoes. Waking up, brushing my teeth, exercising. Just living. Knowing it was me inside, me in his skin, using his hands, walking his legs, breathing in his lungs. Ecstasy.

A few of his-well, my- friends noticed the new and improved Kyle. Friendlier, less reserved, smellier. That last bit might have been my fault. I love Kyle, all of him- and that included his musky, putrid odor which has only intensified since his possession. With me running the show, this meat-suit can’t help but respond in kind by rewarding my constant ecstasy in this body with a steady stream of its pheromones. It also probably didn’t help that I had a penchant for covering myself in my team’s scents and for avoiding any of his deodorant. In any case, I found it hot, I wanted people to know what this flesh of mine was. I was Alpha. I was living testosterone. Athlete. Me.

Still, I wanted to make sure I truly did have him forever. My old body had the ability to slip into others and ever since I had become Kyle, this new body has not been able to replicate the same feat. I speculated it was just a byproduct of my fairly recent acquisition but it’s been a few weeks now and I still haven’t had any indication that this body retains my old ability. Of course this came with the worrying thought that, despite all my preparation, all my effort, Kyle was still just a pile of flesh that my old body was just wearing temporarily. No. I can’t think in that way. This is me. I am Kyle.

So of course, I’ve been testing my old abilities in this body, trying with every hand shake, every shoulder hug, any physical connection with someone to get inside them. I’ve been fucking tons of cute guys on campus too, though no one in Sig Chi seems to have noticed. Either that or they had another reason to not bring it up- perhaps they were trying to avoid an awkward situation. In any case, despite all these attempts, I’ve had no such luck with my little possession crusade. At least, I hadn’t until last week. 

The last time I fucked Mark- some cute rando on the 8th floor of my dorm- I left a little of my cum inside him. In just that split second, I felt his mind and body open up to me, and I took advantage of that brief glimpse to jam just a bit of my arm inside. That was when I had my first epiphany. Of course. Me-in-Kyle was like a new body, not just me possessing him, so it only made sense that I had to rebuild my old abilities from scratch. Still, possession in this new Kyle body seemed to operate differently. Maybe it was the extra power from his vitality, but I definitely seemed to maintain the tiniest bit of residual control over Mark. Nothing too crazy, just very slightly influencing some of his decisions the following week like what he wore or making sure he didn’t tell a soul about the half possession. This had some application. My old body had been able to possess groups of people before, though it had some limited uses. For one, they had to be somewhat close to each other, and at some point, I could no longer maintain that state and my physical form had to reconvene, ending the session. This? This was different. Even now I can feel the traces of my control over Mark. Kyle’s sperm must be really fucking virile. Mixed with my latent ability for possession? We were potent.

Before I could ponder what I could do with this new power, I began to feel a bump in the back of this body. Cosmic correction perhaps? Whatever it was, I felt myself being separated from Kyle. From Me. At least, most of myself was overcome with an intense numbness akin to the separation after a possession. One of my arms remained tethered to him, preventing the force from removing me Kyle’s body fully. 

This, of course, chilled me to the bone. I didn’t just possess Kyle... I became him- if we were separated what would happen to each of us? For one, I embedded myself into him, became the crevices of his mind and self. Whatever would left over without me wouldn’t be Kyle or me, so much as it would just be a pile of living flesh. Likewise, what would become of me? The guy who no longer had a separate physical form from Kyle. I looked at my arms, quaking in fear at the events that had just transpired. What I did to me, to Kyle, truly was against the natural order of the universe. Was I on a ticking clock then? Doomed to one day disappear for my sin? I stared at my arms again. That was when I had my second epiphany. I smiled wickedly. So that’s how it was.

Chrysalis. That’s what I called my special little device, my glorified sleeping bag meant to catalyze the process of forever tethering me to Kyle. I have long since disposed of the thing, but it was clear I had need for another run of the Chrysalis. Or rather, a chrysalis. 

The second epiphany came in the arm that I had used to test possession through Mark, the arm that had kept me tethered to my true body, against the natural order. The second epiphany was that I was not complete. It was the need to balance the scales. A separate possession and container were need for me and Kyle to be one. Two became one. So, in much the same respect, what I needed was to balance the books. What I needed was to fully possess another as Kyle, thereby fulfilling the cosmic debt. “One” will stay as one through a process that fulfilled both my of requirements of container and possession. I need to possess someone. I need a human Chrysalis. And I knew just the guy. I immediately started masturbating. I’m gonna need a lot of cum.

So, that’s where I am right now. I’ve been hanging out with Red, nearly every day, making us closer, all the while slipping bits of my seed into him. I started out with just a bit in his water bottle during one of our gym sessions, when he wasn’t looking. God it was hot. I watched him choke a little too, when his mouth came across my wad of goo but nevertheless he downed it like a champ. He laughed the whole thing off but I could tell he was a bit disturbed by whatever was in his bottle. I was able to will him to hug me a half second longer than usual. 

Another time, I baked some nice cookies with a bit of me-juice in them. He found them delicious. I couldn’t help but moan a little when he first bit into it. He moaned too, before sheepishly stating “my bad bro, these are just some really fucking good cookies.” I played along, giving him a “Aww thanks man. Made these special, just for you”. He willfully ignored my wink after.

Half a week ago, I slipped a bit in his shampoo bottle. That was pretty kinky, until I realized he had just washed it all off. So yesterday, I put a big extra batch in his sandwich when he wasn’t looking. That one was apparently extra potent. He took his first bite- big, messy- getting a dribbling of  “Mayo” over his beard. Instinctively, he motioned to wipe it off with a napkin, but stopped him. He watched me quizzically, as I began to scoop the mayo sucking on the little extra I got on my index finger before stuffing the rest in his mouth. “The fuck? Dude...” he chuckled gently as I felt both heat and tension increase. He was huffing, entranced, taking moist, shallow breaths as I tug on his beard, pulling his head closer to mine. “You need a bit more” I whispered, as I began to unbuckle my jeans. Red snapped out of it, pushing me away, whispering “wait... what the fuck man, what was that?” For a few brief moments, we just sat there in awkward silence. He glared at me, before closing his eyes and taking a deep sigh. “Uh, look, I... won’t tell anyone at the frat. ok? Just... don’t ever do that again. Anyways, I don’t even swing... well... Besides-“ he chuckled, returning to his normal self and tousling my hair “You’re my little bro. That’s, kinda... like... incest, you know?”

This one’s a fighter. By now, there’s gotta be a pint’s worth of my cum swimming inside him. Whenever he hangs out with me, I throw a little here and there. A quick squirt here, some extra cream in his coffee there, maybe a little extra icing on that cake. I make sure the parts of me inside him wriggle inside, get him extra hard, slam his brain with some extra dopamine around my scent. By all accounts he should be squirming in ecstasy when I’m around. But Red... he’s a cut above the rest. No matter what I do, he seems to just shrug it off. The most I’ve ever seen was maybe a gaze linger half a second too long.

It’s been a few days of this and I already feel the slightest dull sensation in my body. The universe trying to correct itself. Still, I have faith in my plans. He’s almost ready, I think. And if he isn’t ready, I’ll make him ready. I want this day to be special. The day I become Red and the day I truly become Kyle. 

—End Part 2—

Next one should be up relatively soon...

[mel-the-fangirl]

The Escort

Walter Marshall x Reader

Words: 2,064

Warnings: none

Happy super late Valentine’s, Cavillry! As usual, this is a very very late upload but in my defense, it does say in my bio that I am a procrastinator soooo... Anyway, I’m really excited about this miniseries because I love the movie (The Wedding Date, 2005) and I really wanted to write Walter, I hope I do him justice!

Feedback (good and bad!) means the world to me as rookie writer, so I hope you’ll like, reblog and leave me some replies!

---------------------------------------

You could not believe you were doing this. You just couldn't. But there you were doing it, even though your mind screeched at you to stop and save a little dignity for yourself.

The fact that you even considered doing this was already a serious loss of dignity points, so what the hell. People did this all the time, didn’t they? There wouldn’t be a whole network of people clumped into this app if it wasn’t a normal occurrence.

It just wasn’t a normal occurrence for you.

Once you filled your head with rationalisations to make yourself feel better, you took a deep breath and began browsing through what the great city of New York had to offer.

Z, 6’, loving hands, fit, athletic, good manners, for water sports, caramel complexion.

For water sports? What in the hell did that mean? And that single initial in place of an actual name? Serial killer vibes. No, thank you.

Lenny, 6’2”, pretty fit Italian, excellent dinner companion, all occasions catered.

Alright. Okay. Now we’re talking. Tall, European, excellent dinner companion equals to good conversationalist, accommodating. Lenny goes on the list of possibilities.

Terry, 6’, my soft voice will arouse you, my strong hands will pleasure you,  let me show you how a woman should be treated, hourly/overnight rates.

Oh no no no. Major creep vibes from Terry. That ad alone had you reaching for another long swig of wine.

Joey, 5’8”, are you into champagne?, bodybuilder, will treat you like a queen.

“If you like piña coladas…” you sang in not even remotely the right key, topping off your drink

Josh, 5’9”, I can make you feel sexy and wanted. Fit, sensual, strong.

“Well!” you exclaimed drunkenly, almost spilling wine on your couch, “Tough beans, Josh! I don’t need a man to make me feel sexy and wanted!” you faltered a bit, your drunk mind still seeing the holes in your logic

“I just… Need a man to help me not look like a tragic spinster in front of my family and my ex...”

With that thought fresh in your mind, you reached for some more wine.

The ads went on and on as you scrolled through your phone, it was all a little overwhelming, how were you going to make sure you weren't hiring some psychopathic serial killing pervert to pose as your date to your sister's wedding?

The groan you let out bounced off the walls of your apartment. The reality of your situation was sinking in little by little. 

Yes. You were hiring a male escort for your sister's wedding. It was your baby sister's wedding, by the way. You were a hundred percent aware that what you were doing was completely and utterly pathetic but you’ve already weighed the pros and cons in your head countless times.

Showing up alone: pitying looks, whispering behind your back, having to face ex by yourself, staggering levels of embarrassment.

Showing up with handsome -hired- date: mother can finally get off your back, date is more handsome than ex, ex will want to shrivel up and die, no one will know date is male escort except you and him.

Now, let’s break down some of the guests just for the sake of being thorough. 

There’s your slightly overbearing mother (slightly meaning every call you have with her opens with the question: “how's your love life, dear?” or “I have the most amazing man to set you up with!”), all of her judgy eagle-eyed friends (mostly rich widows whose sons your mom shamelessly shoves your way), your extended family (some terrifyingly old school great aunts and uncles who will definitely ask if you’re married and smile sympathetically when you say you’re not), and last but certainly not the least, Jeffrey, your ex-fiancé (best man, but apparently not the best man for you, his words not yours).

"Lordy fuck." you exhaled hard, chugging your wine straight from the bottle

How on earth did you get here? Sitting alone in your apartment, working your way through your second bottle of wine (or third? Who was keeping count?), clicking on ads that spoke of "hot single males in your area" waiting to meet you.

Would it be fair to pin it all on the end of your engagement?

Picturing that moment, you decided that it was only fair. Those were five years of your life you would never get back, you were prepared to sign on for more but, yeah.

You were blindsided, that's the only way to describe it. All the while, you thought that you and Jeffrey were on the same page, at the same place in life. You were the golden couple, the couple that all the other couples wished they could be, when you two walked past, girlfriends would give their boyfriends a slap on the shoulder that meant, "Why can't we be more like them?"

It was so out of nowhere, one minute you were discussing wedding cake options over dinner, then suddenly you're putting the ring in his palm, completely in shock. 

After that, you threw yourself into your work despite the fact that you were already a budding workaholic to begin with. That's how you ended up earning six figures a year. 

Six figure salary, check. Doing pretty well in life all things considered, check.

But even with all that, there weren't any conversations over casseroles and cobblers about your many achievements. Nope, your mother and her friends would much rather discuss their worries that you would essentially, die alone.

Your little sister, Amy, getting married before you didn't exactly help to put a lid on all the chatter. And with Jeffrey being the best man? And you being maid of honour? 

It was a disaster waiting to happen.

Maybe you could make up an excuse believable enough to get you off the hook so you wouldn’t have to go?

Were you really thinking about bailing on your little sister’s wedding? If she wasn’t taking cues from your mother, it would be the only one she ever had.

Not one of your finest moments as a sibling.

With the complications of your situation fully realised, you took to reading the ads with a little more effort. Luckily, you didn’t have to look for long.

Nick, 6’, male, tall, good looking, strong build. You will not be disappointed.

The ad was considerably less flashy than the others but you supposed that’s what drew you to it in the first place. It was understated, simple, and his ad wasn’t entirely made up of overcompensating flexing pics.

Mostly because he didn’t need them.

Call off the search, send the boys home. You had a winner here!

Staring up at you from your phone screen was the most handsome man you have ever seen in your life. Literally.

A mane of thick, artfully disheveled curly hair, eyes that were a light shade of blue that had a sort of dark intensity and intelligence that you could spend days trying to understand, and a smile. Oh, that smile was absolutely suckerpunching. It was odd though, something in your head was telling you that this man did not smile often.

You couldn’t tell if the warmth blooming in your chest and creeping towards your cheeks was from all the wine or from examining this prime specimen. Jeez Louise!

“Phew!” you fanned yourself upon stumbling on a photo of him crossing his arms in a tank top. Good God, you hoped he had a license for those guns!

You had to set your phone down for a minute to think things through although it seemed absolutely nuts that you had to think twice at all. It’s just that after the initial excitement and hormones wore off, it was becoming more and more evident that this man was too good to be true.

Just look at him! Were there actually men that looked like that? And why didn’t they live closer to you? A quick sweep of his profile placed him in Minneapolis.

What were the crime rates like there? And did they have a high rate of murders relating to escort services?

Before you could even google anything related to that, you stopped yourself. If you kept at this rate, you would never get anything done! Finally, after a methodical deliberation (aka ogling the pictures on his ad), you saved Nick’s contact number to your phone.

Aaand that’s as far as you’d go for the night. You could call him tomorrow when you weren’t a floundering drunk. It was like your mother always said, “Always be sober for a business transaction, but anything else calls for a cocktail.”

-------------------------

The following morning, you sat at your little breakfast nook, eggs still piping hot and untouched, and a hangover in full effect. You’ve been staring at the phone number for so long, you could say it in your sleep.

Come on, Y/N, the wedding is five freaking days away.

What if this guy was fully booked? You didn’t want to spend five days surrounded by family with Mr. my-soft-voice-will-arouse-you, did you?

You slammed your finger down on the call icon and stuck the phone to your ear. Your heart beat faster and faster with every ring and your palms became so slick with sweat that you almost dropped your phone a couple of times. 

Maybe you should have taken your mother up on the multiple occasions that she wanted to set you up with someone. Alright, on second thought, you didn’t really want to be with someone who only looked good on paper but was actually an insufferable mama’s boy.

“Hello?” a male voice answered, catching you off-guard

Oh, God. Okay, you’re really doing this.

“Yes, hi! Hi. Uh, I’m looking for Nick!” you chirped, in a startled high pitched squeak you didn’t dare recognise as your own

The silence on the other end was starting to make you sweat behind the knees. It suddenly dawned on you that you didn’t mention any specifics.

“Uh, sorry! I got this number from the, uh, the ad. I’m looking for Nick?”

“Yes! Yes, that’s right, but Nick isn’t in right now. This is his manager.”

Was that a good sign? That a male escort had a manager? Did all male escorts have managers? You clearly didn’t know enough about this stuff.

“It’s a pleasure, Mister..?”

There was another beat of silence before the person on the other line answered, you tried your hardest not to overthink about what that could have meant.

“Foley! I’m Foley, Nick’s manager.” Mr. Foley’s voice returned to your ear, sounding much too bright for your liking. 

Christ, what were you, a cop? To be honest, you were exhausted. Despite all the alcohol in your system last night, you barely got any sleep. You spent the rest of the night reading through some reviews of Nick’s service as an escort.

He had a glittering five star rating.

One woman hired him to pose as her husband at a high school reunion and by the end of the night, she ended up proposing to him. He respectfully declined and even bought her dinner afterwards.

That review alone was enough to convince you that you would be in good hands. So, it was time to buckle down, swallow the nerves, and handle your business like the adult you were.

“Mr. Foley,” you shook your hair out and put on your professional voice. “I’d like to book your client for five days, give or take. I need a plus one for a wedding. Is he available to leave on the-”

“Please hold. I’ll check his schedule.”

“Oh. But I didn’t mention when I-”

“He’s available. Would you prefer to pick him up at JFK or will he meet you at your place of residence?”

“Oh. Uh, I guess I could pick him up. Do I pay for his ticket or..?” you were feeling a teensy bit of whiplash at how fast this was all going

There was some rustling on the other line and the muffled sounds of bickering. You tried not to let that concern you.

“We’ll handle that, Ms. Y/L/N. We have your number, we’ll be in touch for further details. Good bye.”

The line went dead and you were left staring at your phone in confusion. Did you tell him your name?