#he's wallowing

[dirtytransmasc]

this video is so aegon coded, in my mind (I am the eldest child, I technically ruined my mom's life, but she tries so hard to love me, she DOES love me, but our relationship is so strained because of the way she's treated me due to her own pain. I think I'm a good enough reference on this)

like. him and alicent. with all their messiness. at the end of the day, that's HIS mommy, and no matter what, even when he feels like he hates her, she is beautiful and perfect and no one can say a bad thing about her because he loves her and she loves him and that makes everything ok at the end of the day.

sometimes he's mean to her, she's too rough, he feels like he hates her, she can barely look at him. but god forbid someone insult her in his presence, he will actually have a breakdown. that's his mommy and he loves her and forgives her and hopes she can forgive him and just wants her to be happy so they can all be happy.

like little kid aegon, he was always playing with her hair and her jewelry, telling her she was pretty. gently poking at her face, like toddlers do, when she was upset, trying to figure out what was wrong. he'd hug her clumsily and tell her it was alright. and he remembers that, he remembers wanting his mom to be happy and to know she was beautiful and that he was there (again, in the way a toddler does) and he stills wants that. he wants to be small and to make his mom smile and feel better. that's his job! he's supposed to protect her and make her happy!

I especially imagine this happens frequently cause of how her father and his father treat her, how the court treats her, how everyone treats her. they all so mean to her, even in ways that are quiet and seemingly mundane. he must hate it. hate the way they tear her apart with their words and their eyes. the way they subtly mock her. he must feel so angry but so helpless and conflicted.

and it all boils down to him becoming a sobbing, snotty, (in his case) drunken mess and I love that for him (I mean I feel really bad, this shit sucks, but you know what I mean)

[kathaynesart]

A sketch of Replica Leo immediately after his EPF Interview in this scene, but before being reunited with his brothers here. I hope to dive more into the fallout of such a defining moment in Leo's young life and how it would go on to affect him once I get my Patreon up. In the meantime. Enjoy the little angsty sneak peek.

[reidfucker]

scrawny motherfucker with a cool hairstyle

[mojowitchcraft]

When the twerps u let join ur cool club bring a spunky toddler along and u r at ur limit

[wistfullywaiting2]

The biggest misconception in the bsd fandom ever to me is people constantly portraying Atsushi as someone who trauma dumps excessively when he canonically barely talks about it at all.

The entire point is that Atsushi does not talk about his trauma he’s just constantly thinking about/reliving it. He can’t escape the memories of his past so he tries not to acknowledge them.

He only mentions it when asked, either directly or when someone asks him to explain himself.

Atsushi doesn’t even give a cohesive explanation for what he saw while under Dogra Magra, he just apologizes to Haruno and Naomi.

If Lucy hadn’t had her whole “you’ve never suffered the way I have” spiel then I doubt even the audience would’ve gotten to find out about his scars

If Akutagawa never asked him how it felt for the orphanage headmaster to die Atsushi would have never told him that he’s been hallucinating.

In the omake where Kyoka asks him why his hair is like that it’s clear he wouldn’t have told her that unless she had asked.

In 55 minutes Atsushi very briefly mentions sleeping on a dirty floor somewhere to Kunikida because he was trying to explain and justify his behavior.

And the thing is that there are scenes that implies that the other characters see Atsushi behaving strangely and are visibly confused because they do not understand what’s wrong with him.

Remember, we as an audience get to see things about characters that the main cast doesn’t. Just because we see into Atsushi’s mind doesn’t mean the other characters know what’s going on in there.

Also little footnote here that I think this is a reference to the moon over the mountain but I digress

[blooms-in-april]

I need more fics of Geralt being desperately jealous of Radovid.

I mean, they break up and next thing you know Jaskier rolls up with a new boyfriend who's rich, appreciates his fashion sense, understands and stans his music, can buy him nice gifts, emotionally vulnerable, and is a PRINCE?!??

Geralt has got to be wallowing in that self loathing. He smells like horse, can't tell the difference between a violin and cello, and still hasn't figured out how to say I'm sorry. He can't compare. No way he's getting his bard back.

[redeliminator]

i believe that to some extent Andre knows he's fucked up and this headcanon is one of the hills I will die on in the farewell tape, Cal says that “you can’t cure somebody who has nothing wrong with them.” 

Andre, on the other hand, admits they might be seen as hypocrites. he's not gonna back out, he still thinks it's the right thing for him to do, but he seems to acknowledge that people will not perceive it the same way. he tries to explain that no matter what it’ll look like, it’s not murder for the sake of murder - not in his eyes at least. there's a (sick and twisted) lesson hidden in this tragedy.

to some extent, Andre is aware of what’s going on with him, what exactly shaped him into who he is now. he sees the cause and effect of being bullied, of feeling rejected and alienated, and not being able to do anything about it because that's just who he is. he can kick and scream and shout but he will never change who he is at his core and this realization is crushing for a 17/18-year-old. this and all the implications of a missing sense of belonging.

he knows he’s messed up. he knows what would fix him and he’s convinced it’s out of his reach. he looks at other students and he thinks: it’ll never be me. and he's angry that they have something he will never have.

his awareness doesn't help though. if anything, it fuels his frustration. what adults know to be a temporary problem (high school) seemed like an insurmountable obstacle, the end of everything.

[jenna-louise-jamie]

happy april fools day. here's one of my favourite lines from stormbreaker.

[ryvdraws]

his tboy swag and autistic coding have captivated me sorry

[naughtcracker]

♪ anybody call a doctor, i'm a thousand degrees in love

[deimcs]

You don't unsettle me, you know that. (x,x)

[dirtytransmasc]

I'll never not believe that Davos is the one who fell first and harder. that he wasn't the one getting his heart truly broken. the one fighting for Aaron's love and attention and aching when he is denied. the one longing for Aeron and having to reckon with the fact that he can never truly have him, there's too much keeping them apart.

sure, Aeron has his own feelings, his own longing, his dread.

but you can see it in their faces, it's Davos's heart that's a mess, his soul that is aching, while Aeron is more confused and unsure of his own feelings and where they lie in the mess that is feuds and war and blood and kin.

Davos is angry but full of bitter, rage filled acceptance. Aeron is scared, confused, and stuck between acceptance and denial. and it's breaking me.

[isuggestforcefem]

I seek your wisdom oh wise one, how do I nudge my cis guy friend into becoming a girl? he’s repressed and autistic and would be SO CUTE as a girl but he’s seemingly “comfortable” as a guy 😩😒

Slip the pills into "his" food.

[mismatchedwonders]

I love that even though it was a campy underproduced and (probably) underfunded show, SPN gave us some genuinely GREAT actors.

Like, just look down the list:

Jensen is INVOLVED and CAPTIVATING

Misha is VERSATILE and EMOTIONAL

Jared

Jim is SERIOUS and COMFORTING

Jake is ENERGETIC and ENTERTAINING

JDM is MULTIFACETED and REALISTIC

Ruth is CHARISMATIC and DELIGHTFULLY WICKED

Richard is FUNNY and FLEXIBLE

Rob is INTERESTING and LIKEABLE

Alex is BELIEVABLE and GENUINE

Mark is CONFIDENT and FASCINATING

Samantha is SWEET and GROUNDED

Sebastian is SNARKY and FUN

Mark (P) is SCARY and SYMPATHETIC

Rachel is COOL and PASSIONATE

+a whole lot of others that I can’t remember + a hell of a lot of the guest cast also did sooo good. Just wanted to take a second to celebrate the performances people turned in for the Yeehaw Brothers in the Muscle Car show

Edit since I’m already seeing shit about it: I don’t have replies on bc I never had them on to begin with. In case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t posted on here nearly at all since I got this blog, I don’t care that much about it. This is simply a place where I go to talk into the void so my thoughts aren’t constantly in my brain.

Also, regarding Jared, I have my own complicated feelings about him as a person, especially considering that he’s done a lot of scummy shit and brushed off that behavior with “uwu I have mental health issues” which, yes I can sympathize with since that is an AWFUL thing to struggle with (and I’m in a similar boat when it comes to shit like depression) but that’s not an excuse to behave how he does.

Also, no one else from the show has been able to find work? Lmao fucking where are you getting that? Almost everyone from SPN has acted in at least one other thing since it finished airing, and even some THIS YEAR, whereas Jared has only acted in ONE SHOW that he produced and got created for HIMSELF, and even then it was canceled (bc it wasn’t that well-reviewed by anyone, even by wipe who like the guy).

I don’t categorically hate ALL of his acting, there are a few episodes where he is genuinely good. But he just progressively got worse and worse over the series. And as for the “steady acting career” before SPN, sure, if you count roles in D-list mediocre movies as steady work. And in a lot of those, his acting isn’t much different.

And I know for a fact that people will say stuff like “well if he’s so untalented/unpleasant, why was he kept on? Why does he have work?” Well, see above, and there are plenty of fundamentally untalented actors that continue to get work bc they’re conventionally attractive

So yeah, just a bit of clarification

Have a lovely day 😘❤️

[reidfucker]

so reid coded...

You don't like my clothes but you still like my smile Scrawny motherfucker with a cool hairstyle Take me home to mom but it'll take awhile Scrawny motherfucker with a cool hairstyle They might think they're cooler than me by a mile Scrawny motherfucker with a cool hairstyle I can still have wisdom and look like a child Scrawny motherfucker with a cool hairstyle

💿 Scrawny - Wallows

[wistfullywaiting2]

Odasaku, Sasaki, and the orphanage headmaster are all buried in the same cemetery.

So Kunikida, Atsushi, and Dazai all run into each other grave visiting regularly and politely pretend they don’t. They never acknowledge the meaning behind the bouquets brought, even if all of them know the others know flower language. They never acknowledge the tear streaks down Atsushi’s face, or the solemn look on Kunikida’s. Atsushi never points out how the scent of whiskey is always a bit stronger on Dazai’s coat. They never acknowledge the location of their accidental meetings.

Sometimes Kunikida might offer to take them to get food, or Atsushi will offer a random hard candy from his pocket, on colder days Dazai might lend his coat. None of them are really themselves when faced with grief, and none of them will to hold it against each other.