#her story is gonna be kinda a ‘you aren’t doomed to be just like your family even if that’s all people expect of you’ kind of a thing

[chibishortdeath]

Heyyyy, remember Billy Danasty, well I got around to drawing another OC. Her name is Gloria Tzuentes. She’s not a descendant of Drolta, but she is distantly related to her through other extended family members. All her life she’s been outcast and bullied because of some of her family members’ poor history with the law. She has a lot of trouble trusting people. When they first meet, she and Billy do not get along, she initially thinks he’s a coward and a jerk. Billy thinks she’s a huge hypocrite and careless. As the story progresses tho, they both realize they’ve been putting up fronts for similar reasons and have a lot more in common than they thought.

Her sprite is supposed to be a similar color palette as Sypha, just with that darker bluish to stand in for black. It was really difficult trying to get her blazer right, and I still kinda think the sprite makes it look like a hoodie, but yeah d(TwT ). The color looks really crushed and messed up cause for some reason instagram did that to it lol.

Also! Billy Danasty with his hair down! :3 Yeah anyway, she’s cool, I gotta think more about other characters and plot points and stuff for this cause it’s been fun making Castlevania OCs tbh.

[lenavonschweetz]

Grace For Sale

Sam Winchester x Reader

Synopsis: Your town could definitely handle themselves, but a little help isn’t something you’d willingly turn down.  When the Winchesters show up - do things get better, or worse?

Warnings: language, anti-religious sentiments, slight religious inner conflict, angst? If you squint?, smut, Under 18 keep faaaar away.

A/N: Takes place during s5:e17 - 99 Problems.  So funny story, I actually AM a preacher’s kid so this episode kinda made me laugh then gave me the idea for this.  Title comes from The Devil’s Carnival.  Also, this has been sitting in my drafts for literal years, guess it’s about time I post it. As always, I don’t have a beta so please excuse any typos. I’ll fix any that are pointed out to me.

Enjoy!

Sam and Dean aren’t exactly sure what to make of your little town.

The welcome wagon was a little more off the wall than they were used to - what with a firetruck full of holy water, a portable exorcism, and a group of civilians that actually knew about the things that go bump in the night.  Still, it wasn’t…the strangest introduction they’d encountered.

“So, are we gonna talk about that?”  Sam asks as Dean steers impala into town - right on the tail of the Sacrament Lutheran Militia’s truck.  What kind of a name was that anyway?

A church looms overhead, answering Sam’s unspoken question, and he wishes he hadn’t even asked.

It’s definitely the apocalypse, what with the devil’s trap brandishing the walkway up to the church door.

Sam’s eyes are heavy - spending the wee hours of the night fighting hellspawn will do that to you.  Especially when you’re bleeding out.  At least the militia had some quick fix first aid handy.

The first thing the brothers notice upon entering the sacred building is the couples standing at the alter, all facing the priest who prattles on about finding something special amidst the impending doom.  The second thing they notice is all of the townsfolk holding shotguns.

Sam scoffs.

“A wedding?  Seriously?”  How in God’s name - no, y’know what, scratch that - how in the Hell were they hosting a wedding at a time like this?

“Yup.  We’ve had 8 so far this week.”  The man to his right, Paul, says and it’s obvious Sam isn’t the only one who’s less than impressed.  At least they’re in good company.

It’s definitely the first time the brothers can be completely transparent in their introductions.  Sure, sometimes they’re found out, or sometimes they’re among other hunters.  But to tell an entire town - and a priest, no less - that they are demon hunters?  Yeah, that may take a little getting used to.

So is the priest toting a gun and the children packing salt rounds in the basement of the church.  Dean makes a quip about running scared or sticking around and making a home out of the place and Sam thinks he’d be leaning toward the later if the end of the world wasn’t resting on their shoulders.

But none of that explained how a whole town had taken up hunting.

Well, until the mystery prophet is introduced in the form of the “Packing Preacher’s” daughter - Leah.

Well…he’d been through stranger.

Dean makes a pass at her - right in front of her father.  The father.  Sam just rolls his eyes, gaze landing on the corner where another figure lurks.

Oh.

This one…he thinks…this one is much more his speed.

“Ah, my other daughter.”  Pastor Gideon says, holding a hand out to beckon you forward.  Sam watches as you push off the wall and approach the group.  There’s little family resemblance, he notes, but definitely isn’t complaining.  While your sister is clad in muted colors, baggy sweater, and tennis shoes - you opt for something a little form-fitting under your dark leather jacket with the combat boots to match.  You scream ‘hunter’, ‘capable’, and ‘danger’ more than anyone else in this town and he has trouble tearing his eyes off of you.  Now, you’re not complaining.  In fact, your eyes linger on Sam just as much as he does on you.  And when he realizes this, the mountain of a man becomes a flustered mess.   It brings a smirk to your face and a blush to his.  “Y/N, this is Dean and Sam Winchester.”

“So I’ve heard.”  You chuckle, arms crossing in front of the very cleavage Sam’s staring at beneath your open flannel.  You cock a brow, baiting him, though he seems too nervous with your father present to answer the challenge.  “Shame Leah never mentioned you.  Though,”  you cast an appreciative glance over their strong frames and Sam very nearly shivers.  Beside him, Dean practically preens.  “I can see why.  If I knew fine specimens such as yourself were going to be crashing in our little town, I’d keep it to myself too.”

The Father is none too amused when you wink at your sister and the two of you share a giggle.  Again, Sam notes the distinct lack of resemblance but brushes it off.

“Y/N,”  Your father says in warning, which you completely ignore and grant the taller Winchester another ravenous once over before turning on your heel.  If anyone asked, you would deny that you were overemphasizing the swing of your hips.

“If you need me,”  you tell him without so much as a glance, calling over your shoulder as you saunter up the basement stairs.  “I’ll be at Paul’s!”

—————

The next time you see the brothers, it’s at the house Leah’s vision lead you to.  Well, actually, that’s a lie.  You saw them the night before at Paul’s bar, but they seemed to be wrapped up in a very important conversation - if the concentration on their brows had anything to say about it. 

Still, that hadn’t stopped you from ordering the brothers a couple of beers.  To his credit, Paul doesn’t judge you - which is a lot more than you can say for your family as of late - and even brought the boys their drinks so that you could do the ever so clique cheers across the bar.

Sam merely nodded in his head in thanks, raised his own beer with a silent ‘cheers’, then went back over to his brother.

So you couldn’t get a better read on them that night.  That’s ok.  It gave you the perfect opportunity to ogle to your heart’s content.

They were some fine specimens, that’s for sure.  The perfect hunters.  Sharp eyes, strong statures.  Hell, Sam looked like he could take out multiple demons all on his own - I mean, come on.  Those arms!

God, you had gotten such a perfect look at them while they brooded and planned what with the way Sam’s sleeves had been rolled and pushed up to his elbows.  Had you ever found forearms as attractive as you did at that moment?  Probably not.

And that jawline?  Christ, you could cut glass on that thing.

The sideburns may have been a little much, but hell, if that was all you could pin as off, you’d take it! 

Your ogling session had been cut short by the bell tolling - another of your sister’s visions - and after arguing with your father in front of the whole church that ‘yes, I am going with them’ - your hunting group was on the doorstep of the abandoned home.  Most of the townspeople are toting guns full of salt or sprayers of holy water, all armed with the ridiculous incantation your sister had told you to use to exorcise them.

But not Sam.  No, Sam was only wielding a knife, and God did he make it look easy.  If you weren’t too busy kicking ass and getting your ass kicked, you’d be drooling over that too.

Only when the dust settles do you take the opportunity to approach the brothers.

“You really are the hunters my sister made you out to be.”  Sam’s perfect eyebrow arches at that, gaze flickering to the way your chest rises and falls with your heavy panting.

“You didn’t think we would be?”  You mirror his smirk and shrug, ignoring the way Dean is eyeing the two of you like he knows exactly what’s going on in your head.  Honestly, he probably did.  Dude seemed about as horny as you did.

 “So,” Sam pants, following the group out of the house.  You miss the way he’s eyeing your ass as you’re just steps ahead of him.  “That’s what it’s like.”  There’s no shortage of sexual innuendo in his voice and you decide to poke the bear a little more.  Whether your father was in earshot or not.

“What what’s like?”  You’re turned to him now, handing in your pockets and treading carefully backward.  He meets your hungry look with one of his own and shivers absolutely rattle your body.  Again he smirks, making sure the coast is clear of your father before saddling up right next to you.

“Having back up.”  He all but whispers in your ear, large hand grazing just inches above your bottom and god, how did he make such an innocent statement sound so filthy.  There’s no way he misses the way you tremble and sigh, not with the way he smirks at you while walking away.

You’re not sure what’s going to kill you first.  The Demons or your insatiable need for Sam fucking Winchester.

—————

Neither.

Neither of those things is gonna kill you first.

Because it’ll be your father that kills you.

Because you’re going to fucking murder your sister.

After the Winchesters brought back a murdered Dylan…well, things were tense. People started to resent them and the warm welcome they had initially received turned cold. Only you and Paul would speak to them without adding to the guilt you knew they already felt.

You knew it wasn’t their fault.  Hell, half of you had been through it before - coming off a hunt all together too cocky and not aware of the demon that still lurked around until it was too late.  Dylan was a good hunter.  Dean and Sam were good hunters.  It had happened to the best of you.  And so you do what you always did - you held a funeral and vowed to be more vigilant next time.

But that wasn’t enough for the townspeople.

Or for your sister.

No, she had to go and suck the fun out of everything.

No drinking, no gambling, no pre-marital sex.

All per the angels’ command, of course.

“What a crock of shit.”  The empty glass thunks against the wood of the bar - as hollow as you feel right about now.  Paul only echoes your sentiments and pours you another glass.  The only thing that pulls you from your ire is the bell signifying a newcomer.  For the first time since Leah’s proclamation, your scowl softens as the person you wanted to see most walks right through that door.

“So, what happened to, uh,” he makes a grand gesture to the empty bar - earning a snort from the two of you,  “’the apocalypse is good for business’?”

“Yeah, right up until Leah’s angel pals banned the good stuff.”  Paul says, earning a groan from you as you pinch the bridge of your nose at your damn sister’s name.  “Y/N’s here helping me kill some inventory.”  Sam chuckles at the glass you raise, tipping it toward him and saying ‘I’m only doing the good work.’  “Want to help?”

With a drink in hand, Paul pours a shot for each of you.  He doesn’t hold back on his opinion of the ‘holy rollers’ nor their hypocrisy, to which Sam calls him out for his noticeable lack of faith.  Paul shrugs it off, defending his honorable lack of prayer.

“Look, there’s sure as hell demons.  and maybe there is a god, I don’t know.  Fine.  But I’m not a hypocrite.  I never prayed before and I ain’t starting now.  If I go to Hell, I’m going honest.  Besides,”  Paul nods to you just as you put your shot glass - empty again - back on the bar.  “I figure if this one can get away with it, so can I.”  Sam’s eyebrows raise at that, eyes finding you.

“You either?”

“I grew up in the church,” you explain.  “I’ve seen how the…holiest of us all can be far worse than the ‘hooligans’ of the world.”  You wink at Paul, air quotes bouncing as you mimic your father’s ‘preacher’ voice.  The two of you share a laugh and you miss how Sam’s fingers tighten around his glass along with his jaw at the intimacy you two seem to share.  “Yeah, I believe in some kind of higher power.”  You continue, focus shifting to the Adonis beside you.  He doesn’t miss the bitter tone your voice takes on. “But I don’t believe in the church.  The organized religion crap.  Never been too big on it.  But then, neither had Leah.  And now, out of nowhere, she’s some chosen prophet?”  You scoff.  “I dunno.  I just can’t trust it.  And like Paul said, I’m no hypocrite.  I know I’m messed up.  Won’t pretend otherwise.”

This time when you regard Paul, patting his hand as one would a brother, Sam’s shoulders relax.

“Yeah, I, uh…I know what you mean.”  A moment of heavy, thick silence passes between the two of you before you’re pressing him for his thoughts with nothing more than a look.  “I believe.”  But he doesn’t sound so sure.  More convincing himself than he is you, maybe, so you stay quiet and let him work through his thoughts.  “Yeah, I do.”  He says, more assured this time.  “I’m just pretty sure God stopped caring a long time ago.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”  A big sigh breaks from your chest, one of those sighs that comes when you feel like you’ve forgotten how to breathe, and suddenly this conversation is too heavy for how drunk you are not and for how drunk you want to be.

After a few moments, a morbid, hindsight joke blooms in your head and you can’t help but laugh, noting the questioning look on your drinking buddies’ faces.

“Guess those newlyweds knew something we didn’t.”  You chuckle, taking a pull of your drink.  “Tied the knot before Leah could restrict ‘em.  Betcha they’re bangin’ like rabbits right about now.”  The liquor burns, smothering your humorless chuckle as you knock it back.  “Lucky bastards.”  

Behind the bar Paul chuckles, noting the tension in the air, the sudden shift of mood, and takes his exit - mumbling something about grabbing more from the back. Neither you or Sam really hear him, though - too wrapped up in the other’s stare you share at what you’re implying.  

Helluva wingman, that Paul.

Once the two of you are alone, Sam swivels in his chair until his long legs drape open and you have to force yourself not to look down.  A bushy, perfectly masculine brow arches.  Then he speaks - voice low and sweet and pure sin.

“Really?  You, uh, don’t seem to have much issue with breaking the no-drinking rule.”  And it isn’t a question.  He flicks the back of his fingers against your glass, warm eyes staring right at you as the faint tinkling tickles your ears.  Your heart shutters in time with the tinkling of skin on glass and you don’t realize you’re chewing on your bottom lip until his eyes flicker to it.  “You gonna draw the line at pre-marital sex?”

“Now, Sam Winchester...who said I would do that?”  The look you fix him with has him adjusting his suddenly too-tight pants.

“Not afraid of being damned?  Of not being one of the ‘chosen’?”

“I’m no ‘chosen’.”  You scoff, bouncing air quotes once more.  “That’s my sister.  Me?  I’m just the poor little preacher’s kid who lost her faith a long time ago.”   It isn’t seductive talk - in fact, it’s dark as hell.  But he asked, and like you’d said before - you were no liar, and you were no hypocrite.  You turn to your companion, renewed .  “But you know…there is a curfew.”

The tonal shift isn’t subtle, but that doesn’t keep the space between you from growing ever smaller, Sam’s large hand sliding up your thigh and again you must fight off the urge to shiver.  Especially when he lowers his voice once more, those big hazel eyes glancing at you from under his full, coal black lashes.

“Is that so?”  A squeeze to your thigh, and you jolt just the tiniest bit, to Sam’s great amusement.

“My place is right around the corner.”  You explain with a shrug, that damn lip caught between your teeth again. And suddenly in the dark, empty bar, you don’t care if you are damning yourself to hell.  As long as it’s at the hands of Sam Winchester, you’ll go willingly.

—————

The wall of your entryway meets your back sharply, a hiss of pain escaping you momentarily before it’s silenced by Sam’s eager lips.

Hurried hands rid you of your clothes, his own falling like breadcrumbs alongside yours until the two of you are falling on to the bed.  Fingers skilled at far more than knife-wielding ghost up your thighs, featherlight touches leaving a fire under your skin.  He’s slow in his undoing of you.  Reverent even.  Watches the way you keen beneath him, begging for his fingers.  Holds your eyes as he drags those fingers through his lips before trailing the wet tips down your front. When he finally gives them to you, one long digit sliding right up to the knuckle, your teeth break the skin of your lip just enough to hurt and you’re gasping - begging for more - which he gives to you, gladly. Working you until you’re ready for him and at the precipice of falling over the edge.

He had looked good in his clothes, sure, but god damn he’s ten times more beautiful out of them.  Infinite smooth, golden skin lays beneath your greedy fingers, a dusting of fine hair contouring the plane of his chest and down below his waistband.  Your mouth waters and you tug impatiently at his jeans.

“Someone’s eager.”  He chuckles, low and husky, standing to drop both pants and boxers.  Oh.  Good God.

“Oh, you have no idea.”  You only break your eyes away to grab a condom before you shove him on his back and straddle those strong thighs.  "I've been wanting to get your clothes off since the second I laid eyes on you."

"Trust me," he breathes - no, borderline growls - and you shutter, walls fluttering at how fucking empty you are and just how fucking bad you need him inside of you right now.  "The feeling's mutual."

He’s big all over, just like you expected, and even rolling the latex over his thick shaft has you shivering in anticipation.  The action doesn’t go unnoticed by the gigantic man beneath you and before you can react, he’s rolling his hips with a moan that takes your breath away.  It takes immense focus to speak through your gasp.

“Don’t finish this before it’s even started, Winchester.”  He laughs at your warning, fingers digging into your thighs and ass.  Oh, this man is going to wreck you, you just know it.

“You have so little faith in me?”  A quip lies on your tongue, something about having no faith at all, but that melts into a strangled moan the second his fat head presses past your opening.  “Oh, Christ.”  He hisses, teeth clenched and head thrown back in unadulterated pleasure at the feel of you, your hips rolling slowly as you try your best to take the overwhelming size of him.  Your fingers digging into supple pecs does nothing to ebb the overwhelming feeling of Sam spearing you open.

“Leave him outta this.”  You quip, sinking down the rest of the way - finally.  You both shiver at the feeling of him fully seated in you before you start rocking against him.

Not much else is said - not much else needed to be said - as the two of you chase relief and distraction in each other.

The stretch burns in the best way and you realize you're going to be feeling this for days.  Every step, every shift is going to take you right back here - your hands splayed out on sculpted pecs, Sam's angelic and angular face contorted in ecstasy as he does his best to keep his eyes open and watch you ride him for everything he's worth.  Those big hazel eyes blink up at you, fluttering and rolling at a particularly deep stroke before they're suddenly open - fiery and determined.  There's no time to even tease or question before he's pistoning up into you, his marble body rubbing yours in such a way that has you gasping for air, his massive hands splayed over your ass to keep you exactly where he wants you. Sloppy thrusts turn to rocking hips and the new angle has your toes curling.

His cock grazes just the right spot with every rock of his hips, both of you whispering moans and groans of the other’s name.  You do your best to keep up, rolling your tired hips when you can, nails biting into his skin when you have to focus solely on not imploding right where you are.

Your orgasm crests, and you beg him to go faster - to take control - and he does, practically throwing you onto your back to angle you the exact way he wants to.  The height difference is dizzying - even with you on your back and him on his haunches - all you can see while he hammers into you is the brand on his chest.  You itch to bite into the ink, to make him mewl against your skin once more but all rational thought flies out the window when his thumb reaches between your splayed legs, presses in tight, dizzying circles, and sends you spiraling into oblivion as aftershock after aftershock rocks your nerves.

In the aftermath of it all - after you’ve seen white from the intense pleasure he milked out of you - you lie in a daze.  Memorizing the way his hands feel as he wipes some of his spend off your chest.  Jesus, the sounds that man had made when he came...you have half a mind to tie him down and never let him leave - your sister's 'orders' be damned.

“It’s past curfew, y'know?”  You remind him, fingers tracing the divots and curves of his abdomen.  God, he’s perfect.  You could spend hours memorizing every inch of skin.   Pity said skin disappears behind thick flannel once more.  You bite back a disappointed groan, casting your eyes over his massive stature.  You don't think you'll ever get over just how small he makes you feel - in the best possible way, of course.  Especially when he flashes that perfect fucking smile at you, dimples and all.

“Yeah?  What about it?”  He urges, a shit-eating grin playing at his lips as he dares you to ask him to stay.  You sit up on your knees then, leveling yourself with his chest and drag your fingers down once more.  "Something you want to say, Y/N?"  If possible, his grin grows wider when you crook an eyebrow at him, beckoning him to your level with a come hither finger to match.

“If you’re waiting for me to ask you to stay, Sam Winchester,"  you whisper, lips ghosting over his own and you take great pride in the way his sinfully long lashes flutter against the tops of his sharp cheeks.   "You can keep waiting.”  The low groan that escapes his throat when you cup him once more makes you ache in the absolute best way.  You're seconds away from throwing your pride to the wind and pulling him back into bed with you.  But this is the end of the world after all.  No doubt he has other pressing matters to attend to.

“Yeah, well, as much as I would love to…I should get back before Dean gets worried.”  Disappointment laces his words, but you’re both too grown-up for any fairytale crap.  Your life felt like more a horror lately than a fantasy, anyway.  So, with incredibly gentle fingers, he pulls your hand toward his lips, grazing them over your knuckles as his eyes bore into yours.  Hmm, he plays dirty.

“Yeah…my dad’s probably expecting me at the church.”  You offer lamely, though there's probably some truth to it.  Not one night goes by without a demon attack or a vision from the chosen sister.  You're surprised you haven't been interrupted by a frantic call from your father already, as a matter a fact.  He smiles at you again, your heart running rampant as he's tossing the towel down to wrap his arms around your waist once more.  The look in his eyes and the hardness pressing into your belly are tempting enough, but you manage to grit out a warning "Sam..."

“And here you are, sinning with the outsider.”  He rumbles, smirking as his eyes drink in your face for - most likely - the last time.  You return his smile, reeling him in for one last kiss...or twelve.

“Yeah, well, if I’m going to hell anyway, may as well make the road there fun.”

If only you knew the literal hell that awaited you in the next few hours…

FIN

[ofthehands]

Day 5- The Saw is Family

@texas-chainsaw-fanworks

A short, somewhat angsty story accompanying day 2's drawing. Word count of ~2,500, Warnings for referenced miscarriage/infant mortality, premature birth/ related complications, referenced animal death, general Sawyer family brand awfulness, and canon character death.

Mange

Drayton was the only child of the Sawyer family. Well, that wasn’t quite accurate. He was the only living child. The only one who made it past a few days. Momma always wanted another, talked on and on about wanting another, wanting a girl, maybe, wanting twins. But it just wasn’t meant to be. No one knew why the babies got sick like they did, or why Drayton hadn’t. But they did. And that was that, for thirty years. 

And then, suddenly, Drayton’s whole life got all fucked up. Momma was pregnant again. That wasn’t so much of a surprise. Drayton didn’t think much of it. She talked the whole time she was pregnant about how healthy her baby was, how much it kicked and wriggled, how big and strong it must be. Pa joked it was finally the twins she wanted. Drayton had a deep, unshakable belief that this would be like the others. Grandpa wouldn’t say it, but he seemed to agree. He came home one evening with an empty shoe box. Grandpa didn’t say anything about it, but Momma sure did. She started cursing and screaming and when Grandpa didn’t react to all that she had a fight with Pa about it. Drayton stayed out of the way. Kept his head down. It would be over in a few months anyways. 

It was twins. Two little twin boys- Paul and Robert Sawyer. Drayton would never admit it to Momma, but when they were born he wished she had miscarried. Losing the little twins she always wanted would be so hard on her. Pa advised her not to name them, not until a week had passed, but the moment she held them she had other ideas. She called Drayton in, to look at his brothers. He refused to hold them. They were small. Feisty, wriggling around and kicking at each other much more energy than most of the others before them. But they were too small. Still too small. 

“Whadda you think, Drayton?” she asked. “Aren’t they just the cutest babies you ever met?”

“They kinda look like wet hairless squirrels.” Pa smacked Drayton upside the head since Momma was too tired to do it herself.

“Well, these wet hairless squirrels are your baby brothers, and you’re gonna be nice to them, you hear?” 

“Yes Ma’am.” Drayton didn’t think this would last very long. 

Drayton refused to hold them. Again, and again, and again. Momma had already gone and got herself attached. He didn’t want to. Especially not to Paul. The twins seemed alright for three days. Then Paul got sick. They had no way of knowing what was wrong, and no way of affording medicine. In Drayton’s mind, that was that. Death loomed over the family. There was a feeling of knowing between them all, an impending sense of doom even Momma seemed to sense. Though maybe that was because Pa, Grandma, and Drayton had taken a liking to Robert. Robert was the bigger and stronger of the two. And sometimes Drayton thought he might make it. Which was strange. All his life he had been an only child. And now he might have a little brother to look after. He felt something about that, something kinda like fear and a whole lot like love. It was odd. 

But odder yet, was how Grandpa was handling the whole situation. 

Grandpa was the head of the family. He took care of everybody. And because of that, and the harsh life the Sawyers had been cursed into, he was a brutal realist. He had brought home a shoe box to bury the boys in before the family even knew there were two of them. And yet, regardless, when nobody else would fool with him, Grandpa started trying to take care of Paul. Paul didn’t latch on right, wouldn’t suckle. So Grandpa wetted a towel with milk and tried dripping it into his little mouth. Paul would shake and shiver, like he was cold all the time. So Grandpa bundled the little boy tight to his chest, so he could be warm. Paul would stay up all night crying. So Grandpa stayed up just about all night bouncing him, and shushing him, and taking care of him like little Paul was his own son. Like Paul had a chance. 

Paul lived to be two weeks old. Then he got sicker. 

So Grandpa buckled down and worked even harder and longer hours until they could afford to take him to the doctor. Then, when the medicine cost too much, and there was just no more work to be done- Grandpa slaughtered the pharmacist and stole it. Nobody understood why he did all that, when it seemed to everyone like Paul was just going to die. But he did it. And Paul lived. 

The twins were three months old. Which was longer than any of the others had made it. Except for Drayton. Momma was convinced it was meant to be- that the twins were here to stay. Grandma tried to be kind. Pa didn’t try so hard. Drayton saw what they saw too, but he didn’t say anything. Momma tried to convince herself they only had reservations because the boys were small. Which they were, both boys were thin and boney. Paul was the littler one of the two. Grandma started calling him little Nubbins, and it stuck. It was endearing, in a way, and that only made Drayton more tense. He didn’t want to get too endeared to those boys. Not when it still seemed so certain they wouldn’t make it long. The twins had health problems. They weren’t sick- not really- they were just born weak and small. Momma had figured they were born earlier than they should have been, and that was all that was wrong. But it seemed more and more like a lot of things were wrong. 

When they were born, they both had splotchy red and pink faces. Drayton just figured that was how a newborn was meant to look. And no one else had gotten concerned. Until it didn’t go away. Both the boys had a clear mark, right across their faces on opposite sides. Nubbins’ was bigger. Grandma insisted it was a birthmark, and Drayton had no reason not to believe her. But Pa thought otherwise. He swore up and down it was a disease, just another thing wrong with those boys. Both of them had breathing problems. Nubbins’ was worse. Sometimes he just outright stopped breathing, though he always seemed to pick back up again. They both got cold quick too. Drayton hadn’t seen a healthy newborn, so he hadn’t realized it, but they were both born skinny, which he guessed was why they got cold so quick- but it was hard to help them sometimes. The most the family could really do was cuddle them and hope. They were lucky the boys were born in the spring. They needed as much time as they could get before winter hit. Drayton worried they wouldn’t make it past winter. 

They had made it longer than Drayton expected. But they couldn’t be described as healthy. So Drayton kept his distance. Not out of fear of catching anything- but out of fear the pain of losing them would be too much for him the way it always was for Momma. They didn’t need two people out of commission. It was a little tense, with Momma, but Drayton figured the rest of the family understood. 

Until Grandpa pulled him aside for a talk. 

"Drayton! Boy! C’mhere!” Grandpa called. Drayton only barely heard him through the open kitchen window. He had been working on a stolen car in the yard. Drayton figured that was what Grandpa was yelling about. Drayton was the most skilled with cars out of the family. 

“Yeah, Grandad?” Drayton called. It was the evening, and he was trying to help Grandma with dinner, but it was unwise to ignore Grandpa. Grandpa called again, and Drayton sighed. He cleaned his hands and put his apron on the rack, heading out to meet him. Grandpa was working on a white truck, trying to bang a dent out of it, or something like that. Drayton walked over to meet him. “Yeah?” 

“Sit with me.” He gestured towards an upside down bucket, and Drayton did as he was told.  

“What’s the matter with it?” Drayton asked. Grandpa smacked it once, and the dent popped back out right on cue. 

“Nothin’ now. Not what I wanted you for.” Oh fuck. “What’s the problem with you and your brothers?” Grandpa asked. 

“What? Ain’t no problem, sir.”

“Bullshit. You won’t so much as look at ‘em.” 

“I take care of ‘em- make sure they’re fed and changed and all that.”

“Sure you do, but you don’t treat ‘em right.”

“Treat ‘em right?”

“It’s like they ain’t family to you.” Oh. Drayton was a little taken aback. He had been distant from them, sure, but he was just being reasonable about it. The twins likely wouldn’t survive, and keeping them alive would strain the family beyond their means. Eventually one of them would get too sick. And Drayton would have to put him down in that shoe box and go to work the next day. He didn’t hate his brothers- not by any means- he was just doing what he figured was smart. 

“I’m just… I’m tryin’ not to get attached is all. Just… The boys don’t seem right to me.”

“Yeah. Them boys ain’t right. Your little brothers is… They a bit slow. But they ain’t goin’ nowhere. I’ll make sure of that.” Drayton paused. 

“ I- I don’t mean any disrespect askin’-”

“You better not,” Grandpa said with a chuckle, half kidding and half threatening. 

“But why do you care so much about them boys? You- You never been the soft type.” It just didn’t seem… right for Grandpa. He was realistic. Blunt to a fault sometimes. And he had never looked particularly kindly on the weak. Drayton didn’t dare bring it up, but he remembered distinctively and vividly when he was a boy no more than five, that Grandpa had brought him out to see a possum hit on the road. Though he was naturally a little morbidly curious about it, he hadn’t understood why Grandpa showed him the body till he flipped it over with his boot. There, on the underside, were six live baby possums. Drayton was excited, thought they might could do something, or help, till Grandpa told him flat those babies were going to die. It upset little Drayton- still a little soft on animals then, thanks to Momma- so much that he started to cry. Grandpa told him to shut it, and explained it to him simple. The babies were too weak to live on their own. Too unlucky. And so they would die. That was the way the world worked. For animals and for people. Grandpa didn’t seem to remember that lesson. But oh God, Drayton did. That was why he never let the family know when he was sick- why he never told any of them how often he felt faint or became aware of his heart pounding furiously against his ribs- why he worked so damn hard to say everything properly when his big front teeth gave him a lisp. It made no sense to him that now that the twins had been born being weak was alright. 

“Well I… It’s my job. To take care of the family. Little Nubbins he.. He needed some extra help. I think… I think those boys might always need extra help.” 

“Yeah but-”

“Family is the most important thing in the world. You know that? There is nothin’ you should ever put before family. I… I wish I had… I been hard on you. I been hard on you because my job is gonna be your job one day. You need to take care of those boys, you hear?” Grandpa said. “Don’t you ever let nothin’ happen to those boys.”

“Why… Why ain’t you tellin’ this to Pa?” Drayton asked. Grandpa seemed far away, focused on something Drayton couldn’t see, face drawn tight. 

“Your Pa is… He… I’m tellin’ you ‘cause I know you’ll listen,” Grandpa settled on. “Drayton… you promise me, right now, that you won’t let nothin’ happen to those boys. Promise.”

“I promise,” Drayton said. 

“Alright… And go play nice wit’ ‘em in front of your mother- she thinks you’re gonna eat ‘em one of these days.” 

Drayton went inside. Everything felt different. He couldn’t explain it, but there was a threshold he had crossed and he couldn’t go back. He could never go back. He found his Momma pretty quick. She was feeding the babies, trying to get them to settle down a little before the rest of the family had their dinner. Little Bobby was sleeping. Nubbins wasn’t throwing a fit, but he was awake. He looked a little more alert than he usually did. Momma jumped a little when she realized Drayton had come into the room. 

“Oh uh-”

“Can I hold ‘em?” Drayton asked. 

“Little Bobby?”

“Both of ‘em,” Drayton said. Momma smiled, and Drayton tried smiling too. She passed the babies to him carefully, one in each arm. Momma ran off to get her camera, wanting a picture of her boys all together. Little Nubbins made a noise, and Drayton looked down at him. He had big, curious, dark eyes. A similar deep brown to Drayton’s own. Nubbins was looking at him, smiling softly. Drayton locked eyes with his little brother, and let the sense of dread that built up in his chest wash over him. He promised to protect that little boy, and he would. 

Or at least he tried. 

He really, really wanted to say he tried. 

He had done his best to raise his brothers when everything fell apart. Momma died a few years later. She gave birth to another little boy, and then she just faded. That baby was sicker than the twins, and Pa just up and left. Said there was nothing left for him there. Grandma was next, dying only a few years later, and Grandpa faded fast after that- not quite dying, but not living either. Drayton did his very best to raise them. He promised he was going to take care of them. 

But, as he walked out onto the hot asphalt and looked down at his little brother, he was struck dumb with the awareness that he had failed. Nubbins looked up at him. There was no light in those curious dark eyes. He just wasn’t there anymore. Nubbins was curled on his side. Like he was hurtin’. Like he was roadkill. Drayton kneeled down with him, and put a hand on his shoulder. Like he thought he might wake him up. But he didn’t stir. He wasn’t going to. Drayton thought about the very first time he held him. And he almost laughed. At that moment, he had felt it. He knew he was going to bury those boys. And he was right. He didn’t get to live with those boys by his side. He just got enough time to get attached to them. So it would hurt when he lost them too. 

What a rotten, rotten life.

[goddessofmischief]

Blue Monday, Chapter Thirteen - Loki x Reader

TW: Mention of the word ‘suicide.’ Not discussed in graphic terms.

Author’s Note: It’s been a long journey! There is still so much more story to tell, so please send me questions or feedback if you liked this chapter!

Previous Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

...

The last day of Amora Freyadottir’s life had begun like... well, almost any other.

Loki had woken up next to you. His Amora.

The pair had risen in synchronization, methodically buckling up armor after armor, sword after shield.

And when you were both ready, you’d descended down the stairs together, one perfect unit, marched down to the castle courtyard, where Odin and several other highly-trained soldiers were assembled. He’d instructed you on the mission-

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to escape the flood of memories that had suddenly fallen into your mind.

"I’m... I’m what?”

“You,” said Mobius. “You’re Amora. You always have been.”

“Loki, I don’t... I don’t understand,” you stammered. “You lied to me, you swore you knew I wasn't her, you swore it-”

“I didn’t,” Loki promises. “You aren’t. These lies are simply a diversion to distract us from Mobius’ misdeeds.”

“Oh, Loki,” said Mobius. “Poor, poor Loki - if only that were true.”

He gestures, and a T.V.A. guard rushes in, restraining you both.

“Our story begins in Asgard, I think,” Mobius spoke, sipping from a tumbler of whiskey that had magically appeared. “Yes, that’s the one. Asgard. You and Loki had just marched off to the battle of Vanaheim... a terrible, terrible battle. Oh, they found you in pieces, Y/N. You died a warrior’s death.”

“Not me,” you said, stubbornly. “Amora did.”

“Yes, well... Loki got kinda despondent after that... not all that surprising, since he obviously loved ya-”

You glanced at Loki. He paled.

“And, well, Loki usually gets what he wants... and he decides he wants you back. Only problem is, he wasn’t sure how to do it. You were about as dead as it gets, sweetheart. So he studies, right? He studies for months and weeks, until he finds the plan that works best for him... that he’s going to reincarnate you.”

“No,” you argue, stubbornly. “No. No, that’s not true, it’s not true, it can’t be-”

“Crazy, right? I thought so, too. But I saw potential, in his failures, cause, the thing was... I’d started to see where things were going, even then.

The Earth was on the verge of nuclear war. The stars, divided by piracy and battle. In the middle of all of it... the two of you. I’d been trying to leave this universe for a long, long time - only problem is, the Watchers have kept me here. Something truly cataclysmic would have had to happen in order to let me destroy it - and, well... this little Romeo and Juliet story was a pretty good disaster-in-the-making, if I do say so myself. I knew if I stoked the fires of it, Loki would find a way to make the universe burn.

Soon enough, our friend Loki here uses a considerable amount of dark magic to reincarnate your soul into that of a mortal. He’d thought... well, I imagined he thought that once you reached a suitable age, about the age you are now, he’d give you your old memories, and find a way to make you immortal again. But you just couldn’t stay away, could you, Loki?”

“What does he mean?” you asked.

“I don’t know,” Loki stammers, and Mobius snaps his fingers - and suddenly, Loki’s eyes glow bright green, and a single tear rolls down his cheek.

“I visited you,” Loki whispers, slowly. “In your dreams, I -”

He paused, removing his glove and resting his palm on your forehead. You couldn’t see everything, not just yet - so many of your memories were still blocked out.

But you saw him. You saw him... throughout your life. Long walks, chess games, dives into swimming pools. He’d appear in your dreams, even. You were never alone.

Never.

“You didn’t have any friends,” Loki said. “And... I didn’t want you to be alone.”

“But if you were there, for everything... why can’t I remember any of it? Why can’t you?”

“Well, you can’t remember much of anything, can you?” said Mobius. “Only... the moments without him. The moments with your father. And, of course... your would-be death. But you never could remember what drove you to make that choice, could you? Only that you did, that cold Monday morning, and that I saved you, and swept you away to a life with us. You have wondered, haven’t you?”

You had.

“That was my work. I needed you to get to a point of desperation, so that the T.V.A. would seem the perfect option for you, so that you’d feel you had nothing else left. The thing was, when I made Loki forget... I kinda altered his memory two years before yours. So I doomed you, you see. I left you for two years, without him. He abandoned you... or, so you thought. And without your protector, well, you were a mess, weren't you?”

You had been.

“And without him to stop you, you made the rashest decision you could. You made an attempt upon your own life - and thus, my plan fell into place.”

“So it’s my fault,” said Loki. “If I’d never visited you... none of it would have happened. You’d never have thought I left you. Mobius never would’ve been able to manipulate us. It’s my fault you... died. Or, almost did.”

This was almost too much for you to comprehend. You were Amora? Loki had known you all your life? His leaving caused your depression, and set Mobius’ plan into motion?

But something more important stood out, too -

You loved Loki.

And he loved you.

Somehow, that had to mean something.

With a growl, you kicked Mobius across the room.

Loki turned to you, and without wasting a moment -

The two of you ran.

“Loki!” you found yourself shouting, tempted to shake him and make him listen to you.

“We can’t just run!”

“Why ever not? I’ve used this strategy - it’s worked for me, many times.”

“Because your last enemy didn’t have access to every timeline in existence! We can’t hide - he’s just gonna follow us there!”

He considered this.

“Fine,” Loki said. “How about this - we’ll fetch some back-up.”

You had to admit, your heart began to pound a little faster about the idea, just imagining the heroes you and Loki could recruit.

Alternate Iron Man. Alternate Black Widow. Perhaps even Thor himself-

“I’m sure me, being me, would be more than willing to help.”

Just like that, all those hopes came crashing down, all at once.

“Uh... what?”

"Well, in this scenario, I can really only trust myself, darling. You of course can understand. We’ll simply locate a variant of me... and enlist their assistance.”

You shrugged, helplessly.

“I... I guess.”

By this point, you figured you were going to die, anyway. You may as well just give in to his flawed logic and see where it would lead you.

“But I’m not dealing with another Lady Loki,” you insist, as Loki started to focus his energy on programming the tesseract with coordinates. “Not again.”

“No, no, of course not... then again, we would have gotten along, had I not possessed something she wanted. So, it seems to me... all I have to do is find a ‘me’ that hasn’t yet lost his Amora.”

“Okay, how do we do that?”

Loki focused on the tesseract.

“There,” he uttered, after a moment. “It’s... it’s programmed. It’ll take us somewhere, I know not where... to me. A me who has a version of Amora with him. That me will have no need for jealousy, and I’m sure I can reason some way to tempt them to aid us-”

“And... we’ll take her with us, too? The other Amora?”

“Jealous already, darling?”

“No,” you said, raising your gun to blast an approaching T.V.A. soldier. “Never.”

He grinned, and takes your hand.

And together, you both disappear into the icy-blue light of the Tesseract.

...

Taglist:

@bepo-is-sorry @the-obelisk @buckybarnes1982 gorgeourrific-nerd @suwupremeleader​​ @sserpente​ @tripleyeeet​ @kcd15 @rorybutnotgilmore 

[eloquentgifs]

DWJ Reading Project. Part II

As I said here, my 2021 resolution is gonna be READING EVERY DIANA WYNNE JONES BOOK I CAN FIND, and due to my love of making lists and taking notes, I’ve decided keeping track of this reading project here in this post, which I’ll keep updated as I make progress. It’s mostly for my own pleasure, but maybe it helps someone who wants to give it a try to this amazing writer and doesn’t know where to start.

Part I (1970 - 1976 & The Dalemark Quartet)

Part III (1984 - 1992 & Land of Ingary Series)

- The Chrestomanci Series (DWJ’s suggested reading order): · Charmed Life (1977): I couldn’t fully enjoy it because the main premise of the story is the codependency Cat has with his AWFUL sister, and how her abuse shapes everything on his life. He has such a low self esteem and needs so much a hug, it just breaks my heart every page. In any case, the worldbuilding, the magic system and the general vibe are just amazing. If it keeps like this, I totally understand why so many people love this series

· The Lives of Christopher Chant (1988): Ok, this is the good shit. I don’t even know how to describe it in few words. Let’s say that there’s also a kid being abused by his relatives, and there were parts where I wanted to throw the book against the wall, but Christopher is such a fascinating character to read about that you just can’t stop. And this universe, OMFG. Also, is the Asheth thing some kind of homage to The Tombs of Atuan?

· Conrad’s Fate (2005): I’ve binge-watched Downton Abbey a few months ago, so finding out this book is basically DA with magic was just a delight. Christopher and his new BFF Conrad arrive to this big ass manor to work as lackeys, while both having secret agendas of their own. There’s everything one would expect and more: Rich Family Drama, Upstairs/Downstaris antics, crime solving, forbidden loves, scifi-ish reality bugs, and of course abusive relatives (at this point, if I were DWJ’s uncle I'd think she was trying to tell me something). I read it in a day and a half. The only negative thing I can say is that I missed Christopher POV of things. 

· Witch Week (1982): This is about a bunch of pupils and teachers in a deppresing boarding school. Everyone is a little bit of an asshole at some point, but it's understandable because this world must be the worst in Series 12. Not only they keep burning witches in modern times, but witches aren’t even a minority, so you can imagine the amount of hypocrisy. It’s interesting how the witch thing can be considered a metaphor for lgtb kids: everyone is scared of being called a witch because they’ll get bullied (and maybe arrested and burnt), but every time a character find out they’re in fact a witch, they just feel confident and happy because they’ve found themselves, so they can’t even hide it. Also, there are more secret witches around than they would expect.

· The Magicians of Caprona (1980): Two families of famous spell-makers keep hating each other through generations, to the point they put Caprona, the city-state where they live, in danger. Sometimes the Italian stereotypes were too much and took me out of the story, but not gonna lie, I really loved the opera spells, the large families living all together in a big house and being loving and supportive with each other, and BENVENUTO.

· The Pinhoe Egg (2006): This one is also about confronted families of magic users, but this time they’re in the villages near to Chrestomanci Castle, and no one really knows there’s a feud because their spells are based on herbs and plants, not in singing opera on the streets. Cat comes back and shares the spotlight with Marianne Pinhoe, and as always I would love more Christopher Chant, but I can´t really complain.

·  Mixed Magics (2000): Four short stories settled in the Chrestomanci Universe, more or less linked to the main characters. My favourite is the third one, Carol Oneir’s Hundredth Dream, mostly because the idea of a kid selling her dreams as stories is brilliant, but also because I loved that little moment where Christopher reviews Carol’s dreams and everything he says is the kind of critique that Diana always received on her books.

- The Homeward Bounders (1981): There are some misterious powerful people who seem to be addicted to Age of Empires, but they play it using actual worlds and actual people. When someone from these worlds find this out, they got exiled and doomed to jump from world to world, only able to stop when they manage to get back to their original world.  The first act remind me a little of those stories from Arabian Nights where the main character keeps arriving to weird islands and getting into the most bizarre troubles but always manages to survive. Due to life circunstances I couldn't focus 100% on the reading, but I did enjoy the characters, mostly Helen, and Jamie eventually grew on me too. I must confess I got kinda lost with the final explanation about the game and the nature of this multiverse and what it's Real and how Hope acts literally as an anchor that keeps the system going (although I find the notion really interesting as an allegory, and once again a really cool message for kids: hope can be your prison)

- The Time of the Ghost (1981): Ok, this one was a dark trip. I can’t really say that much because everything is a spoiler. Let’s say it’s about an amnesic ghost who’s drawn to their family, and there’s a lot of sadness, pagan blood rituals (one chapter in particular has A LOT OF BLOOD for my taste), abusive relationships, and a little bit of the theme in the previous book: the negative side of hope that makes us cling to things in an unhealthy way. Also, I’ve read this book is kinda autobiographical, and it explains so much about the way DWJ used to depict families in her books, it’s heartbreaking. It has its moments of fun and sweet melancholy tho. It’s never 100% depressing with Diana. I think that’s what make it feel so realistic.

[paintedlight]

Supernatural Season 15 & Sufjan Stevens' “The Ascension”

Teaser: there’s a song on this album called "Die Happy” where the lyrics are just “I want to die happy” for 5 minutes and 45 seconds. yeah. yeah.

Disclaimer: yes it’s all a stretch and I’m overthinking it but also… am I? (yes) 

long post time! know that reading ahead may hurt you and yes it does get worse the further down the track list you get 💕 have fun kids

So just to start off, I think it’s funny that something Sufjan’s discography & Supernatural have in common is the 15+ years of the internet arguing if it’s gay or not, and the answer ending up being yes. PLUS there’s the obvious connection of American mythos + mythology + calvinist themes (I am hissing) + religious trauma prevalent in both. 

If you’re a fan of both like I am, it’s easy to connect them— notable connections being songs like “John My Beloved” and “The Owl and the Tanager” or even “John Wayne Gacy Jr.”, but I’m going to focus on Sufjan's 2020 album, “The Ascension” since even the arc itself seems so connected to season 15 of Supernatural, specifically. 

At least in my head it does <3 enjoy 

MAKE ME AN OFFER I CANNOT REFUSE

When interviewed about the meaning of this track, Sufjan explains that this song is about asking God, “what do you have to say for humanity?” That it’s about desperation, creation, and devastation. It’s about frustration with divinity. Also the vibes are 10/10. Need I say more 

RUN AWAY WITH ME

This song is beautiful, it makes me want to sit in some grass and stare at the sky. 

Some lines that make me Dean/Cas crazy are the two lines in verse 1 and verse 2 that mirror each other by being in the same place melodically:

Verse 1: they will terrorize us / with new confusion / with the fear of life that seeks to bring despair within

Verse 2: I will bring you life / a new communion / with a paradise that brings the truth to light within

Yeahhh so the words “Despair” and “The Truth” were mirrored in this song yes it was coincidental yes I’m clinging to it. It fascinates me 

But this song is about begging someone to stay with you.

sweet falling remedy / come run away with me / you’re all I ever need

VIDEO GAME

My first thought when I heard this song was about how it was such a song for enneagram 4s. If you don’t know what that means, I think Dean is a 4 and wrote a post about it here. 

AND @trapperjohnmcintyre also made the connection between these lyrics and Dean in this post, and honestly I don’t need to say much more than that??

The song is about feeling paranoid and angry that God is controlling your every move and you can’t escape it (aka hating the doctrine of predestination). Of course it’s also about not wanting to follow societal scripts. 

You just want to have an easier life instead of the weight of good and evil resting on your back!!!

I don’t want to put the devil on a pedestal / I don’t want put the saints in chains / I just want to make my life a little easier / I don’t want to play your video game

Also these painful lines, as a treat: 

I don’t want to love you if you don’t receive it / I don’t want to save the world that way

Oh, I almost forgot, also. At the end, the narrator gives up. He’s like well I guess I can’t escape. Gotta follow the procedure. Gotta be a puppet.

I don’t want it to go down that way / but in a way you gotta follow the procedure / so go ahead and play your video game

  LAMENTATIONS

I don’t have much to say about this one but this line always makes my heart ache idk:

I was only thinking of human kindness

TELL ME YOU LOVE ME

Here we gooooooo. Y’all aren’t ready.

Thesis: Tell me you love me despite the primordial darkness about to overtake me. And even if you don’t, I’m going to love you. 

15x18 Despair anyone?? 

I want to just paste the whole song but, here—

DIE HAPPY

Yep, "Die Happy" immediately follows "Tell Me You Love Me." Yes, the lyrics are just “I want to die happy” over and over for almost 6 minutes. 

First of all, the repetition mirrors the end of the song Fourth of July, from Sufjan’s previous album Carrie & Lowell, where Sufjan sings “we’re all gonna die” over and over.

Parallels, baby.

But I noticed something else about this recently though— in Die Happy, if you are listening to it in your headphones, there’s this weird sound that sounds like a wasp flying around your head (it made me uncomfortable which is why I noticed it, haha). After I felt unnerved for a moment, I had a realization— that this could be referencing one of Sufjan’s most beloved songs, “The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out To Get Us!!” (yes that’s a real song title lol)

The Predatory Wasp is about how Sufjan fell in love with his best friend at the Bible Camp he went to as a teenager. The wasp is a metaphor for internalized homophobia and also his love and how he fears his love will hurt the boy he’s in love with. 

So, Die Happy references an iconic song from Illinois (2005) with these notable lines:

Tl;dr: 

I want to die happy vs. I can’t explain the state that I’m in / the state of my heart / he was my best friend

Here’s an Despair photoset with Predatory Wasp lyrics via @toneelspeelster. 

ATIVAN

So your best friend has just died happy by being in love with you. You feel like the primordial darkness is on YOU now:

I woke up in stereo—I spent the day in vertigo / I could not get the spirit off my back

You’re once again tossed in the waves of thinking that God is fucking with you. But either way you just want to be tranquilized at this point. 

Is it all for something? Is it all part of a plan / tranquilize me, sanitize me, Ativan

Is it all for nothing? Is it all part of a plan? / make my death wish, mind my business / do the best I can with what I am

Ativan asks, was the true leading woman all this time… substance abuse?? 

Ativan / my leading woman

Long story short, you’re drunk on communion wine, asking the shadows to come back.

fill me with the blood of Jesus / clean my plate 'til he receives us / separate the colors from the black / ... / tell the shadows near us to come back

 URSA MAJOR & LANDSLIDE

Not a lot to say about this (even though I love these songs) so I’m gonna skip mostly, but the narrator has decided he wants to love you, he can’t help it <3 

GILGAMESH

Oh boy. 

I mean you kinda know what’s coming because of the title. The Epic of Gilgamesh is the world’s oldest piece of epic world literature, and Gilgamesh was “the first hero of human history.” 

In the world’s oldest story, The Epic of Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh and Enkidu are “very close friends” (their relationship is very homoerotic and this is barely disputed). Gilgamesh calls Enkidu his brother, and they are mutually selfless towards each other but when Enkidu dies, indirectly because of Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh has a breakdown and mourns him like that of a spouse and then has to come to terms with his own mortality. 

The meta level of this is so obvious I’m not even going to go into it. Anyways… here are lyrics that make me want to scream! 

the repetition of “my heart”... the concept of singing a eulogy.... saying your heart is chained to Your Angel............ it hurts

DEATH STAR

Star Wars reference my beloved. Like many of these songs this has Fuck You God energy.

what you call the human race / expedite the judgement day / it’s your own damn head on that plate

vandalize what you create / ... / witness me resist your fate / it’s your own damn head on that plate

 GOODBYE TO ALL THAT

This song is a bop honestly 

When the lyrics were released a bunch of Sufjan fans contrasted Goodbye To All That’s here I am alone in my car / hopelessly infatuted / and I’m driving to wherever you are to Sufjan & Moses Sumney’s song, “Make Out in My Car”.

Yeah, I know, we’re all thinking of this:

Make Out in My Car is basically where Moses gave Sufjan a horny car guy chorus and told him to write the verses, and Sufjan proceeded to write the most liturgical shit ever (and we love him for it). ANYWAYS… Goodbye To All That also reminds me of Dean’s depression and the weirdness that started in 15x19 and goes into 15x20. For some reason he makes it seem more upbeat and happy than it is...

Despite this song being a bop, the lyrics are depressing. He’s alone in his car. He’s hopeless. He realizes it’s too late to have died a young man. 

He’s going to try to move on, even though nothing is left of him, he’s begging someone to turn around and show me his shadow.

He also references substance abuse again—

love me / and leave me / intoxicated

  SUGAR

The music video? Iconic. The mom of a family is making a pie, or she’s trying to. She ends up rubbing the filling all over her face, crushing the fruits, the oven catches on fire. 

But she does it! She makes the pie. 

Meanwhile the other family members are in their rooms, overindulging in sugar in all its forms. And then as she and her family eat around a dining table, occassionally being seemingly marrioetted by some unseen force, she looks angrily over her family, they all seem to kind of lose it, then the house starts to come apart until the chandelier falls on the dinner table. 

It’s the making pie + overindulgence in sugar + marionetted family metaphors for me ❤️ 

Ultimately, the song is about begging for affection, being desperate for domesticity, but you feel doomed, you feel like your defeat is predestined, that you can’t escape it.

You just don’t want to be heartbroken & you don’t want to be angry anymore!!!!

  THE ASCENSION

So you may be asking… does this guy get the domesticity he’s longing for?? Does he get his love back?? 

No. He dies. :/

The Ascension begins with just that. He’s dying.

THEN Sufjan decides to rhyme “confess” with “confess”, in two lines that mean almost opposite things:

When I am dead / and the light leaves my breast / nothing to be told / nothing to confess / let the record show / what I couldn’t quite confess

So does this guy have something to confess or not??? 👀

Moving on… 

He goes back to thinking about how his life was predestined all along, and now after all that, he’s dying. So he thinks about all the times he was kind of like this Mythological Icon. That he always had to be the one to show what was right, to lead by example. That that had been his entire identity. 

And he realizes he needs to answer for himself. 

Then he is frightened— realizing he was always asking what everything meant, what it all was for, but that all along he was just angry and depressed.

But even though he feels a like he should have just resigned himself to meaninglessness, that he only thought he could change the world for the better… it strengthened him to know the truth.

And even through the absolute shit of it all, and even though God & others did things from a place of so-called holiness and hopelessness...

He did everything out of love ❤️

So then he dies 🙃

AMERICA

So, as the end of The Ascension asked, what now? 

The album ends on this long track, which Sufjan describes as a protest against all that America has been and has become. 

It’s a protest against capitalism, of destroying humanity for the sake of some cold machinery. 

I have worshipped / I believed / I have broke your bread / for a splendor of machinery

And in true Sufjan fashion, he makes this song about protesting somehow both horny and religious, god bless

I have loved you / like a dream / I have kissed your lips / like a Judas in heat

I have worshipped / I have cried / I have put my hands in the wounds on your side / I have tasted of your blood / I have choked on the waters / I abated the flood / I am broken / I am beat / but I will find my way / like a Judas in heat

I am fortune / I am free / I’m like a fever of light / in the land of opportunity / don’t do to me / what you did to America / don’t do to me / what you do to yourself

  to finish out, here’s a DeanCas post by @eggcessive with lyrics from America ❤️ I HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY WEBWEAVING :)

[technobladetimestamps]

Nov 16 Stream Timestamps

Timestamps from Technoblade’s “THE REVOLUTION (dream SMP)”

Link to my youtube comment with all of the timestamps x

Timestamps with hyperlinks below

02:13  “This is a surprise tool which will help us later” / thumbnail isn’t foreshadowing / video thumbnails have to be big / stream thumbnails can be detailed 05:17  “The traitor is actually Jschlatt” / firework crafting 09:50  “The ratio is impeccable” 13:23  “Dream’s in the game! My audience retention rate” / vc with Tubbo & Quackity / traitor Jschlatt theory / “Are you high?” “A little” 14:47  “You’re a bit of a wildcard” “I am the most consistent character on the entire server” / “What’s this about getting into power” / “We’ll burn this bridge when we get to it” 15:54  “You really are such an English major” / “You’re an idiom” / malaphor / “I’m actually speaking twice as much English as you guys” 18:07  “I think Thunder is overcompensating in the chat” / “Where can you see me” “In my heart” (Karl & Quackity) / Karl not leaving vc 20:33  vc with Niki / “Did Tubbo just leave me? I spaced out for 2 seconds” / “You can’t call everyone the traitor” “I can & will” 22:45  “You know it’s an event when Skeppy’s here” / “You know it’s a big deal when Georgenotfound wakes up” / “Everyone leaves me” 23:31  explaining the traitor thing to Niki / “Maybe I’m a sleeper agent” / had to kill Tubbo 25:03  nothing happened with that creeper / Fundy interrogating Niki / “Why did I train her for MCC” 25:54  “Even YOU’RE leaving me” / sad music / “I’m sitting here with 203k viewers & it’s not enough for any of these streamers to bear talking to me for more than 60 seconds” / Skeppy joins vc to immediately leave 28:50  Karl has a gift for Techno / Karl is just here for the animatic 32:21  “At least the chat won’t leave me” / pays for his music 35:01  “I’m going to destroy the government so bad” / “I hate all of the farming updates on skyblock” 37:45  joining a vc / “I just got stood up in like 4...conversations in rapid succession” / “My new years resolution was to make friends & it’s november & I’ve made zero headway” / Eret switches sides 41:53  Ender chest setup / worried about hotbar management / potions > shields   43:13  vc with allies / “Karl you are literally the biggest third wheel I have ever seen” 45:03  angering the dogs / trident combo 47:13  “D!ck with one ball” (Tubbo) 50:25  “Let’s hope Wil overslept like [George]” 53:09  recruiting Eret / “If you fight on our side we’ll make you the King of Burger King” / “He’ll be an executive citizen” / “I’m surrounded by idiots” 54:58  putting Schlatt on the allies list / “Schlatt is an alcoholic high on protein power” (Fundy) 56:47  can’t trust Eret / “I hate it when you’re right” (Tubbo) / Wilbur joins vc 59:50  having a moment with Hubert / “Not even the mobs like me” / sad music / “I just gained 8k subscribers the sadness is gone” / cow pit exp farm 1:02:57  vc with Niki / “I’m going to join the other vc AHHHHH” 1:05:02  “Once everyone meets up...I have something prepared” / “Technoblade when are you not ready?” “When I joined the server” 1:09:38  “Who do you take me for? Of course I’ve read the Art of War. It’s written by Mozart” / battle planning 1:12:18  “This is the betrayal...happening very slowly” 1:13:35  Pan1 / “This revolution is so doomed” 1:15:29  Dream attack / Quackity dies 1:18:07  “Agree Retweet” / “Violence is the only universal language” / “i have a supply” / “Why do you talk in upwards inflections constantly?” 1:19:57  Techno not getting to talk / “He took it all by force didn’t he” / “Fear into Ear” 1:23:50  Techno telling everyone he has a stash twice / distributing blue / mushroom the fox 1:26:49  Tommy talking over Techno again / “Stop going off on your tangents” “We have food at home” 1:29:30  vault reveal / Tubbo stealing emeralds / secret chest 1:32:40  “Shut up bro you are green as shit” (Tommy) / “Everyone give me back my stuff you don’t deserve it” 1:34:41  no netherite swords / “Who’s the traitor” “Promise we won’t be mad” 1:36:31  battle / Technoblade trident maneuvering / giving rocket launchers to Tubbo & Tommy 1:40:27  killing Karl / Dream bringing out the end crystals / fighting invis Dream / purpled switches sides 1:43:57  Dream wants to talk / 309k / group photos 1:46:08  vc with Dream / “But only if my enemy insists” / in the van with Schlatt / “What are you doing in my drug van? It better not be drugs” / Tommy preparing to shoot Schlatt 1:54:42  “We won” / “We killed an old man with heart problems! It only took 20 of us!” / President Innit / subscribe to Technoblade sign 1:55:57  Dream & Techno talk in chat / Tommy speech / “It was meant to be” / “I don’t think anyone is bowing to Tommyinnit” / “Karl don’t be weird” / Skeppy has a disc 1:59:06  Techno being apprehensive on mute / Tommy makes Wilbur President / “I’ll be the president” “I’m gonna veto that” / “Techno...you’ve taught me that government is not the way to go” / Wilbur makes Tubbo president 2:03:20  “I’m not sure I like where this is going x2” / “I’m not sure this is a good ending” / “Team chaos” “Perhaps” 2:06:20  Techno shoots Tubbo / Philza joins / “You think Schlatt was the cause of your problems? No. It was government” / speech gets interrupted / “The government ends here, I’ll kill it myself!” 2:09:23  Phil kills Wilbur / techno yelling for silence / “Tommy you just did a coup...& instilled yourself as president” 2:12:11  “If you want to be a hero THAN DIE LIKE ONE” / wither spawning / killing his former allies 2:15:09  post fight talks / “There will be no new government today. It will be over my dead body” / “Techno was not the traitor” 2:18:50  “I need to increase the crater that is L’Manberg so that no country can rise in its place” / “Mom says it’s my turn on the flame bow” 2:23:51  “What I’m doing right now is small scale. This is the work of an individual. This is nothing compared to the cruelty governments all around the world [inflict]...systematically” / “Llamas are the primary victims of war” / “I just wanna be apart of the explosion” (George) 2:27:06  Techno joins vc / connor joins the server / “I hope you’re proud of yourself Techno” “I kinda am” / Jack Manifold (Thunder) being broke / netherite armor 2:32:30  “Beach episode” / Techno accidentally joins the L’Manberg vc 2:35:16  the base is compromised / “There’s no way Technoblade would put a clock there if it didn’t mean anything” / got robbed 2:37:37  “If you’re going to ask me how I got all these emerald & arrows that’s a story for another day” / explaining the bedrock / “I can give everyone stuff & it’ll be such a flex” 2:40:24  Greek mythology 2:41:45  The Golden Apple / “They didn’t use discord back then they used skype, so can’t invite Eris” / “Zeus the god of feminism” 2:46:02  Eret recruiting Techno to kill George / joining vc / “Let’s stop him before he gets land” / Awesamdude proposing a fight 2:49:08  “No one can kill me I’m invincible” (logs out) / Dream literally names the turtle potions Sam thinks he hasn’t heard of / “I’m at soup” / “It’s not smack talk he just has that many items” 2:53:06  “Stab him Dream, I’ll shout encouraging words” / Techno fighting Bad & Ant 2:56:23  Dream wins / “I think there was this Dream guy attacking you with some sort of weapon” 3:00:11  turtle potions / Dream hyping up Techno about fighting BBH / Badlands negotiating with George 3:04:34  vc with Philza 3:07:00  spider farm afk’ing / lagging Quackity’s computer 3:09:06  smp earth / Phil only logged on to back Techno up 3:10:32  killing George / “I’m gonna drop his armor off don’t jump me” / not fighting Dream 3:13:00  vc with Karl & Phil / Karl definitely not starting a government / “Chat that was the boring part, don’t leave” / 320k / “Why do we keep scheduling these on Monday?” 3:16:18  “I don’t even want to think about how famous Tommy will be in the future” / “I get a tad bitter” / covid is good for youtubers but obviously bad / “I’m so good at socially distancing” 3:19:51  “Aren’t you tired of being nice Philza? Don’t you just wanna go crazy” / “You should be wary of the old in a profession where people die young” / vc with Eret 3:21:47  “What if you built a slightly larger throne next to it?” /  “How are they paranoid of a mole but the guy with a track record of being a traitor gets no questions asked” 3:25:47  “I’m gonna place a block at the bottom & kill you instantly” / reverse mlg /  emerald rich even with Tubbo’s theft 3:27:57  “I’ll allow it” / upstairs chests robbed / Eret disconnects with the book 3:32:04  armor sabotage bc he thought it’d be 1v5 / crystals are mutually assured destruction / Wilbur afraid of tnt getting blown up early 3:34:11  the diary was actually Eret’s / “He’s gonna tell everyone who I have a crush on. Nooo” / reading the 100 page book / “Can I not win here?” “No” 3:40:14  “This stream has released more serotonin in my brain than the last 6 months combined” / revolution was overcrowded / could improve the crater 2:43:09  “Awkward ten minute period where I’m just sitting there watching them set up a new government but I can’t kill them yet” / Carl is missing 3:44:34  “The one time Technoblade is gonna roleplay & they talk over him” / “CARL” / “As long as Sapnap isn’t the one that took him there’ll still be hope” 3:46:10  “Once you start using end crystals it’s the only pvp that matters & end crystal pvp is so lame” / Webtoons 3:49:10  “What’s going to happen to you & WIlbur now?” “I don’t know, I think I’m chill with Wilbur” / “The only thing that changed is my voice. Zero personal growth” / lines from the first speech that got interrupted / “King George is trending booo” 3:52:00  1 million twitter followers / “O god it’s been four hours...I am not built for this” / did a 13 hour stream once / sub growth goals 3:56:30  “What the heck is Phil watching”

[burningthemidnightcityoil]

THE USUAL SUSPECTS

Eeyup. More Problem Sleuth.

This time isn’t so much as dissecting every little thing that pops out of that comic; I’m gonna break down the characters.

So let’s start.

PROBLEM SLEUTH

Rude; He even has a Meter telling him that his Politeness sucks.

His main stat is basically Charisma, but he is an impolite asshole apparently. But his “Diplomacy” is just him pulling out a can of kick ass. His first outing as actually being a Diplomat... and he cheats..

All, but one, of his Alter Egos is Female. Take that as you will.

And his God Ego is apparently a Goddess of Prostitution.

His favored candy is Candy Corn. Which has inspired many toward favoring the ill-gotten Halloween snack.

His Halloween special is basically him as a Vampire, with High Speed. I suppose he subscribes to the Sexy Vampire trope gig, cos actual Dracula does not have Charisma.

Good with one-liners and puns; though as we see with Frankenstein PI, it falls short at times.

Characteristically, he’s more related to Weasels; but he aligned himself with Elves and never shifted back.

He likes Knives

He gathered his team up by acting like a fool and swearing at them... and it worked.

His natural association with Angels or Angelic Beings, sexy bits, as well as dedicating himself to a narrative role of being a Noir Detective; puts him as a Hope Player.

His pension for Theft, Cheating, and having a Crew; possibly makes him a Rogue.

ACE DICK

Rude. No no, worse than Sleuth. Like, this dude punches people in the face as a Greeting to establish dominance.

His main Stat is basically Strength.

... And his Auto-Parry is to just take the full front force of the force by the force of his entire front.

And apparently his God Ego is the Devil? Likely, it has to do with all that indulgences and violence he partakes in.

He likes Chilli peppers enough to consider them precious cargo.

... There’s no telling if his Halloween gig is an actual Zombie, or it was just convenient for him to play Zombie, being an actual Zombie at the time. At least we know he likes Gummy Worms.

His imagination sucks, but that doesn’t mean he’s not creative. He puts what he has to use, and he’s appears to be very good with finances.

Of course his imagination sucks, he’s the Down to Earth guy.

But he’s also unbelievably gluttonous, and likely morally inept. Consider the fact that he hired Whores to come to his place of business to give him a good time.

Out of the entire Crew, AD suffers the most. He suffers a Salsa based transformation, he becomes a Zombie, he fuckin Dies, he has an entire life made by Death (don’t ask) which promptly falls apart in the worst way possible, he treats being assaulted by tentacles exactly how you expect if you got assaulted by tentacles, This dude is the “Reality Ensues” guy.

He’s the only one who figures out, why not just fuck up a guy when he’s in his fort? It doesn’t work, but its a good start. Points for trying.

All his Alter Egos that aren’t just copies of him, are Gay. Take that as you will.

The Dude fathered the Homestuck equivalent of both Batman and the Antichrist. That is a Horrifyingly bad or outrageously fantastic DC comic in the making.

Lots of fanfic gives his dude a dirty mouth. While the mouth might literally be dirty, Sleuth swears more than AD.

He has an attack that’s about eating / swallowing things, and he does use this against people (like Kingpin).

His association with the Physical, Feasting, disgusting sexy bits, being the least creative and kinda boring guy, but being outrageously physically powerful; Puts him as a Void Player.

On the ropes on which class he is.

PICKLE INSPECTOR

Exceedingly Polite. Second most polite guy here. The dude will play a game with Sugar Cubes as dice for hours, in fear of being rude.

His main Stat of Imagination is an odd one to deal with... but I equate it with Intelligence. Cos frankly, holding an image in your mind in such detail and logical deduction (consider his imaginary office), would put him firmly on the Intelligence path.

His Auto-Parry is him getting distracted. He-He gets distracted, in a life threatening situation. How on earth--

His Alter Egos are all honestly just him. In fact, half the Comic is about his Future / Past copies. His Gentleman Ego is apparently both more physically active, and more akin to ogling ladies. So that’s probably as far away from PI as your gonna get.

PI technically has 2 Godly Egos, but in this case, I’m counting one God Ego. And its Death, the Ultimate Reality. The other isn’t merely a God, but a fucking GODHEAD. That’s like, Deep Lore levels of holy shit. You’re getting into CHIM and Zero Summing. Game Over dude.

He likes movie Frankenstein’s Monster it seems, and he has an outrageous Strength stat as Frankenstein’s Monster. Which is odd, cos you think he’d be more in line with the Good Doctor instead. Hm...

If he needs help, he just asks.

He can’t solve Sudoku, don’t let him fool you.

PI seems to favor all sorts of candy.

Apparently, him being very Tall is prophecy worthy.

Most fanfics or roleplays give him a stutter. There’s no evidence of this in the comic itself, but interpretations are free to interpret.

He has an attack that’s all about staring at people.

Aspect wise, its very difficult to say what he is. Death is a Doom thing, but PI is very imaginative, which would put him somewhere in Mind-Hope-Breath-Life-Light. Considering he basically makes up the universe too, that’s Space and Time to consider. But if we break a few things down... He’s all about staring or seeing things or people. His Future / Past selves all come in various Primary or RGB colors. His imagination is Sight-Based, he imagines stories or objects, and his Godhead is merely the eternal Watcher. He’s probably a Light Player, as Light can travel Space, illuminating objects, whilst also defying time (Faster than the Speed of Light fucks Time up a lot). But his pension for Creation, his association with the Entire Universe, would likely make him a Space Player too. So more thinking and breakdown required.

Class wise... Hm... Well, he’s probably a Sylph; which in Homestuck case, makes PI the first Sylph ever. His character is associated with an entire environment, the imaginary realm, his fairy association is with Elves, and he literally makes things.

HYSTERICAL DAME

She seems nice enough, but boy she’s heavy on the old fashioned slang.

It seems that Alter Egos are very simple. They don’t have stats, or auto parries, and they share their Alter Egos with the Heroes Themselves.

Consider, however, HD’s case. All but one of Sleuth’s Alter Egos are female; which means instead that those Alter Egos are likely all Dame’s.

Which means that the Semidemonde Goddess is Dame’s Godly Ego, not Sleuth’s. Sleuth might not have one, it could just be his Sepulchritude and title as Arbiter.

HD should have her own stat, with associated candy.

She does appear to be ESSENTIAL. Cos she doesn’t die, she just gets knocked out.

This lady introduced the Lipstick Chainsaw.

HD is a very protective sort, and her first instinct is to provide aid.

But, she also has her own BERSERK RAGE (The Hysteria Meter). She’s like Dragon Ball Z’s Chichi in a sense.

Next to that, she’s a helluva a leader. She commands the Whores to serve as her Army (Which parallels the Goddesss’ own Angel army), and is the first on the attack toward Kingpin (Only when under Sleuth’s direct line does she actually fear him). She’ll even frisk MK’s corpse.

Physically Powerful; she can hold a lot of guns, one of which is the fuckin Hair Pin Machine Gun.

... So basically, PS made a lady who could and will kick his ass.

Rage Player. No questions asked. Only Rage Players have Berserk Modes.

Class wise, its a little difficult. But considering she bulks folks up when she meets him, I’d call her a Maid.

MADE OF RAAAAAAGE

NERVOUS BROAD

Literally, the Nicest. The nicest lady ever. of all time.

Her Nerves are on stage here. Be it merely being Nervous... or having fuckin Nerves of Steel.

And her case of the Vapors is her pulling out a god damn Flame thrower.

Teddy Bear. Knife. Commence Virtuous Mission.

This lady is armed to the teeth, and she’s one of the kindest characters here.

If Godhead Pickle Inspector is a reference to Acalokitesvara (”Holder of the Lotus” or “Lord Who Regards”), that probably means that Nervous Broad is Guanyin. ... The Goddess of Mercy.

She has seen everything that has come to pass and will come to pass, all at once, while falling into a Black Hole.

She can use the ASPECT CORSET to alter her height and proportions, and not suffer any ill effects afterwards.

Aspect for NB is like PI. Its difficult to discern, and I need to research more before I can determine exactly what her aspect is... Though the alteration of physical proportions likely turns her to Space.

She’s probably a Seer, thanks to that Event Horizon. 

Possibly more in the future...

[arukou-arukou]

Just A Really Very Intelligent System

Been thinking about this one for a while. Finally managed to write it. Rating: T for “Language.” (It just kinda slipped out.) Characters: Tony Stark & JARVIS

----

He is in one of the most dangerous situations of his life trying to save the whole freaking universe by watching a man the size of a dust bunny wriggle into the hairline of his younger self, so it would be really, really bad if he happened to have a heart attack. Older him that is. But he nearly does go into cardiac arrest when he hears an old friend in his ear.

“Verify immediately. Failure to verify will result in an activation of level one security protocols.”

His tongue is stuck to the roof of his mouth and his palms are sweating, but somehow he manages to whisper out: “Edwin-12-19-91-4-8-47-Alpha Override.”

“Override accepted. Sir?”

“Hey, J.”

“Sir, you have imbued me with considerable computing power, and yet never did you prepare me for the possibility of you being in two places at once.”

“Yeah, about that. You haven’t said anything to Mr. Quipster over there, have you?”

“Not as yet, Sir. You wish me to keep it that way?”

“It would really help me out, buddy.”

“Very well, Sir.”

Tony wants to stay longer, to talk, to warn JARVIS, to cry, but he has places to be, things to do, planets to save. Scott’s safely positioned, so Tony yeets himself out of the building to get to the ground floor. He doesn’t know why he thought that would make JARVIS disappear.

“I see, Sir, that your proclivities for leaping before looking are unchanged.”

Another near heart attack--he’s gradually phased Friday out of his ears now that the nanotech is connected directly to his nervous system, so he’s not exactly used to AI voices anymore--but he recovers more quickly. “You’re always there to catch me, J.”

“And yet my systems are not present in your suit, Sir. I see codal remnants of system designation FRIDAY, but nothing of myself.”

Tony remains silent. This is such a terrible time to be feeling all the feelings. He spots a grunt who looks more or less unimportant and knocks the guy out. Part of him wants to warn SHIELD about their shit security, but then again, this guy’s probably Hydra and he deserves every bruise he gets. He senses JARVIS in his systems, a ghost in the shell.

“You no longer have the reactor. And if I’m not mistaken, that is gray in your hair. So you are not my Sir.”

“Well, yes and no.”

“I suppose it would destroy the spacetime continuum for you to divulge the truth to me.”

“You’re too smart for me, J,” Tony grunts as he yanks on the bullet-proof tac vest. “It’s kind of a long story, and while I technically have all the time in the world, I also really, really don’t.”

He sidles into the lobby and looks toward his personal elevator, waiting for the Avengers to appear. J is quiet so long Tony wonders if he’s being preoccupied by...well, just about anything. Damaged internal systems, a Cap copy on the loose, a second Hulk out there, panicked calls from Pepper. But then JARVIS speaks again.

“Regardless of the tale, I must conclude that you are from the future, and I am no longer by your side.”

Tony is fucking choking up. He was not ready for this. It didn’t even cross his mind. And the fucking elevator is opening. There’s Pierce, the rat bastard, trying to collect the Tesseract.

“I hope I did not disappoint you, Sir.”

“Never, J. Never.” Fuck fuck fuck, he’s nearly crying and now Scott is on the com waiting for the go-ahead. Tony channels his pain into panic and orders his own cardiac arrest.

“Sir, what are you--”

Thank god, his younger self is on the ground and that’s apparently all the distraction J needs to abandon older Tony. Tesseract incoming. Tony grabs it and starts going and--

Blinking stars out of his eyes he watches as Loki makes off with the key, the thing they most needed, the damn stone that started all of this way back when Cap was a starry-eyed beanpole in World War II. He has just biffed saving the entire damn universe because of an overgrown Star Trek reject with anger issues. And now he has a migraine to boot.

Frozen in shame and horror, Tony watches as Thor attempts ill-advised cardiac electro-stim. Scott’s somewhere out there, yammering in Tony’s ear on the private channel, but all of that is just a buzzing.

“Sir? Sir. Sir!”

And J. Maybe Tony should cry now. It certainly feels like the time for it. One of the other SHIELD grunts is making her way toward him, so he staggers to his feet, waving her off and limping toward the door. Think. Think, brain, think. Tony is a genius, the man who invented time travel, the man who miniaturized arc reactor technology. A spaceship? SHIELD’s probably got one somewhere. Maybe they could chase after Loki.

“SIR!” How many times JARVIS has shouted his title, Tony has no idea, but this one is so loud it sets his teeth on edge.

“Yeah, J? Kind of busy here.”

“Giving yourself a heart attack, Sir?” JARVIS was programmed to be cool and calm in all circumstances, but Tony could swear that sentence was uttered with seething rage.

“I’m fine. Look at me.”

“Only by some measure of infinitesimal luck, Sir. Perhaps I should ask you to verify your identity one more time, as you seem intent on killing yourself.”

“No, J. I’ve actually got a lot of reasons to live. And so does he. Promise.” Tony is so tired. Was being an Avenger always this exhausting? Or is it just that he’s bumped over that damnable big 5-0? And Cap’s gonna ream him too. That’s never any fun.

“I’m...glad to hear it, Sir.”

And fuck it. It’s not like this will alter Tony’s timeline anyway. This reality is now on a different trajectory thanks to Severus Snape Lite. “Her name’s Morgan. You’d love her, J. Just turned four. She got my hair. Hope to god she didn’t get my personality.”

“Do I meet her, Sir?”

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck it.

“J, you should dig a little deeper into SHIELD’s systems. Well, actually, a lot deeper. And the Pentagon while you’re at it. And track down Maya Hansen from that conference in 1999 and poach her from whatever outfit she’s working for. Immediately. Make sure she brings all her vet patients with her. And, uh, when I start talking about a suit of armor around the world, steer me away from anything called Ultron. And if I make it anyway, you delete the fuck out of that system file. Have Bruce back you up. He’s more sensible.”

“Sir, I don’t--”

“And have me make back-ups. At least three extra farms of servers for you. On different continents. And all those SHIELD files? Make sure Cap and Fury get them. And there’s...there’s this guy. This assassin. Brainwashed. He’s, uh, I think he’s on ice in Uzbekistan right now. If you could rescue him, it’ll...it’ll fix a lot of things.”

“Should you really--”

“And, please. Please please.”

Tony is not crying. He’s not. It’s just all the dust and debris in the air. Good lord, he’s probably going to die of cancer anyway. And all those first responders. Did he start a fund for them?

“Start a medical fund for the first responders on the ground today. And start leaning on Congressmen to make medical plans for them. You know how long they take to get anything done. Oh, and Stern. There are incriminating photos of Stern with some young ladies on South Beach. See if you can dig those up. Flowers for Pep. And a box of chocolates. And a dry martini with extra olives.”

Tony slumps into a burned out car, staring at nothing. He didn’t save his universe, but maybe he can save this one. His eyes are still irritated, burning red and itchy. He resists the urge to scrub at them, not wanting to grind in anymore dust.

“Are you quite finished, Sir?”

“Yeah. Actually, no. I love you, J.”

Silence. Ah. That’s stumped him. Maybe he’ll go back to tending his new posse of baby chicks now.

“I know you probably do not believe me capable of it, Sir, but I love you, too.”

His son. The only one he’ll ever make, but not the only one he’s lost. His son loves him. Tony’s throat is full of dust, too. Funny how that happens. He tries to swallow it down, but it only congeals into a hard lump. He puts a hand over his mouth to try and hold back any choking sounds. “I...I know you do, J.”

“As to your orders, I shall do what I can. It is my duty to protect you, Sir, and I would very much like to meet your little Morgan.”

“She might not exist here. I might’ve just changed everything.”

“If there is one thing I have learned from all my years with you, Sir, it is that perhaps such a thing as fate exists after all. Even mathematically speaking. And if that is the case, I cannot imagine a universe in which you are not fated to this happiness.”

Tony laughs, if only to keep from crying harder. And he is. Crying, that is. As if he was fooling anyone. Happiness? Him? Happy people don’t wake in the night screaming for a pile of dust in their hands. Happy people don’t spend hours coordinating relief efforts for countries whose entire infrastructural support has collapsed. Happy people don’t hurl themselves back in time, driven by guilt and horror at all the wrongs in the world. J, brilliant, wonderful AI that he is, seems to sense the dark turn of Tony’s thoughts.

“And if you yourself cannot believe in this thing, Sir, then I shall just have to do everything in my power to provide it for you.”

Another guffaw, but at least his eyes are drying a little now. “God, I miss you, J.”

“I believe your small teammate is approaching, Sir. If I may inquire, was it the Tesseract you were seeking?”

“You mean the stupid blue cube of doom? That’s the one.”

“And you say you have the means to time travel?”

“Yeah, J. We do. But only enough to get back to our time.”

“A limitation has never stopped you before, Sir.” JARVIS sounds thoughtful, as if he’s forming a plan.

Tony would ask him what he’s scheming at, but just at that moment, Scott embiggens himself and slumps into the car with Tony. That road is closed, then. They are out of options. Out of Pym particles. Out of time. Out of hope.

Until they aren’t. Just as Tony is setting his device for their new destination, J pipes up again, for Tony’s ears only. “You say you miss me, Sir. Then allow me to give you a small gift.”

Tony is pressing the buttons, and even if they weren’t already shrinking into the quantum tunnel, he wouldn’t be able to ask exactly what J means. It’s only when he and Cap arrive in 1970 that he has his first gleaning. In his ear, a voice. One so unexpected he nearly jumps into Cap’s arms. “Hello, System Administrator Anthony Edward Stark. I am System Designation EDWIN. ‘Eagerly Deployed With Intent to Neutralize Loneliness.’ I am told to tell you the “L” is silent and invisible. How may I best serve you today, Sir?”

Cap is staring at Tony like Tony’s lost his mind. And maybe he has. He’s been bugged by his own damn operating system. With a bouncing baby AI. And if Steve finds out, he’ll probably have a conniption about the spacetime continuum or something. So the only logical thing Tony can do is say, “Let’s find some Pym particles.”

“Acknowledged, Sir. Commencing scanning.”

-----

(In this reality EDWIN saves the fuck out of Tony’s life and everyone lives happily ever after and EDWIN builds JARVIS from scratch so he’s back or something, okay? Okay.)

[albatris]

can you tell me abt your wip?

yes! it’s about cracks in the fabric of spacetime and loving your friends!

anyway my answer is yes, yes I can tell you, I have things that I’m capable of saying, sure, sure

I usually like my writeblr experience to be the “I’m just gonna ramble about characters and plot points with no context and if you wanna come along for the ride feel free to jump in whenever!” type more so than the “I am presenting to you a nice neat WIP and I am very careful with my words and I am trying to spark intrigue among future readers” type

so I don’t have any nice neat posts or beautifully worded synopses or detailed character profiles (edit! I do have some of these now!)......... what I have is an all-encompassing “ATDAO” tag that I throw all of my everything into with no rhyme or reason. it’s full of things such as art, brief excerpts, long-winded rambles, and spoilers!

but for now, I will speak to you a series of words, like so:

the story is called All The Doors Are Open!

it’s YA! sci-fi-ish! fantasy-ish! comedy-ish! I’m real bad at genres! it’s something I’d describe as “our reality but a little to the left”, though it gets progressively weirder and weirder as it goes on

it’s set in South Australia, n it’s set in a world where the fabric of reality is starting to unravel at the edges and cracks in the universe called “Ports” are cropping up..... n these cracks are letting in all sorts of whacked out energy, fuckin with physics, causing weird phenomena.......... basically reality’s comin' apart slowly but surely and everyone’s just sorta like “ah geez” about it but like. what can ya do. it’s not like all your normal people problems are gonna go away just ‘cuz the world is edging towards its inevitable weird doom

so people are just kinda going about their lives against this bizarre apocalyptic backdrop and hoping they don't, like, glitch through the sidewalk on their way to the supermarket

the story is about several people, and four of these people are:

Tris, panic attack in human form, who has just been the sole witness to a freak car accident that somehow caused his older brother to vanish from this plane of existence entirely

Noa, edgy intimidating badass, definitely hiding no insecurities or trauma at all whatsoever, who has just had a weird run-in with a Port and is discovering that she can now bend the reality around her

Shara, socially anxious paranormal investigator & conspiracy enthusiast, hunting the answers to and meaning of three strange events from her past in the hopes that they will lead her to the source of the apocalypse

and Kai, nonbinary force of chaos, struggling to deal with the emotional repercussions of losing seven years of their life to a time loop and the fact that their family thinks they died

and it’s mostly just about these guys trying to deal with the weird apocalyptic garbage happening to them alongside their everyday lives, and about how all their individual odd little mysteries connect with each other and form a bigger, odder mystery

here are some things about it that I like, and that you might like, but I don’t know you, so who knows:

the story is equal parts “absolute nonsense hijinks and ridiculousness that doesn’t take itself too seriously” and “oh fuck oh ouch oh no my heart”

every single main character ends up safe and happy and in a much, much, much better place than they started

there’s several mentally ill heroes, including one with psychosis and one with a dissociative disorder, whose mental illness/es aren’t ever used as a cheap plot twist or to go “OHOHO NONE OF IT WAS EVER REAL IT WAS ALL JUST IN THEIR HEAD THE WHOLE TIME HAHA GOTCHA” because ew

it’s full of weird glitchy unreality nonsense and general atmospheric weirdness, and I get to do lots of sick kickflips with words about it

there’s one cat named Leonardo DiCatrio and another named Ms Frizzle, and some scenes where various members of the gang get to hang out with a bunch of extremely excited huskies, so that’s nice

I’m forgetting what I’ve already mentioned

and what's important to mention

I’m going to end this list

oh!

all the themes are incredibly cheesy, such as self love, friendship, the goodness of humanity, the power of kindness and connection, believing in yourself, etc........ just some real good high quality cheese

somewhere in the recesses of the ATDAO tag there are character profiles, a plot explanation and also a comic sans powerpoint presentation in which I talk about it all in more detail, but it’s all very wordy, and some of it is outdated, you can go take a look if you like, I won’t link it here because I'm lazy, it will just be a fun quest you can go on should you so choose, I can provide a map and some snacks for the journey

also please note that my rambling text posts with horrid grammar are not indicative of my writing abilities when actually Writing A Novel

ur not getting nice prim proper articulate logan today, ur getting. well. me. hello

anyway that’s all I can say 4 now, thanks for the ask, love u, goodnight

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-09-29

More Homestuck time!  Continuing on the outside-canon plot.  Livebloggin’ starts now...

> CHAPTER 14. The Best Laid Plans

Wait, who’s house is this?  Was this Roxy’s?  (When I saw a glimpse browsing my twitter feed during the debate, I saw Yiffy on the ground accosted.)

> (==>)

THEY’RE JUST HOME?!?!?????

HOW???  HOW could the heat be off so badly?

Jane’s arrogant, but one of the CHARACTERISTICS of her arrogance is that she underestimates the character and capability of her political opponents.  How would she NOT consider the possibility that these kids would return home again even while the heat was on??  How would she assume that JOHN would be too smart to come back to--

...oh right, she may not know John is involved or willing to do anything.  That’s fair.  But the kids??

I’m sure there’s going to be SOME sort of explanation of why the heat is off.  Also, I wonder who made that anti-Jane battle plan chart?  John himself, or Karkat or something?  Karkat’s usually the chart-er.

JOHN: wow, i feel like i'm barely keeping myself sitting. JOHN: if it weren't for keeping you kids safe i'd be out there right now!

Hm.  Are they counting on the fact that Crockercorp would KNOW that John and Vriska are both there to intimidate them from moving in against them?  From a sheer difference-in-firepower standpoint after Vriska’s big display?

HARRY: and some of us aren't gods and shit. JOHN: i'm detecting a hint of judgement in your voice, there, harry anderson JOHN: don't you enjoy being a part of all this? finally getting to be in the thick of it all? HARRY: i mean i was having a fine time at school, if i'm being honest. HARRY: all this tear-assing back and forth between my home and various points of interest over the past few days has me pretty beat.

Yeah, most kids don’t appreciate being involved in war.  Even Vrissy immediately showed some regrets no matter how much she liked to think of herself as wanting to get out there.

HARRY: also i wouldn't call this "the thick of it all" JOHN: oof, getting air quotes'd by my own son. JOHN: we had to hide in a forsythia bush on the way back here when that drone flew by! JOHN: that's the thick of father-son hijinks if i ever saw it! JOHN: well, modern day war hijinks, but i'll take what i can get, you know??

(Be more considerate, John!!)  Hm, so they DID sneak their way back in here?  I mean, John’s powers may have helped them get through unnoticed, but this is still a big stretch.

HARRY: i'm not knocking the old adrenaline thrill, or helping out Vrissy's moms or anything. HARRY: i'm just saying i was literally just here and you told me to leave, so i hope this is where we're gonna park it for a minute. HARRY: a boy's gotta breathe. JOHN: yeah, well, this wasn't my plan, either. JOHN: but rose sent out some false intel about us heading toward my house, so technically this is the safest place we can be right now, since they cleared the area and everything. JOHN: i guess.

Ahhhh.  Okay.  Yeah, a Seer of Light can float an attention lure and know it’ll be an effective enough distraction.

HARRY: hmm. JOHN: what? HARRY: now YOU look like you're hiding some extra commentary. JOHN: oh, i don't need to burden you with all the bureaucratic stuff, it's boring. HARRY: well now hold up, dad. HARRY: a minute ago you were all "we're in the fight together," and now you're backing out of sharing the details? JOHN: it's not really- HARRY: am i a part of this or not? JOHN: well i'd sure say you were! JOHN: but i guess maybe my thoughts on what is or isn't right for the operation aren't up to snuff. JOHN: because here i am, sitting in the dugout, same as you. HARRY: in the dugout?

Mhmm, John’s sore about Rose not counting on John as a heavy hitter.  He got back INTO this in part because he missed all the action and relevance, and now they’re telling him to stop and stand still?  That’s never been a command John’s easily agreed with.  For now, protecting the kids (Blood!) is enough to keep him sitting, but if they (and Vriska) start encouraging him...

HARRY: plus i wouldn’t have been able to get your measurements for some clothes that actually fit you if we hadn’t come back here where all my sewing stuff is.

Thank god, we might get a non-embarrassing god-pajamas John back

HARRY: you were getting pretty into everything back there with rose and them? getting to be with the old crew and everything, like the stories you told me about the game? JOHN: yeah. HARRY: that sucks. JOHN: i had a good plan, too! JOHN: it just wasn't good enough for karkat, i guess. JOHN: i'm just not "experienced enough in combat strategy"

Oh huh, so that’s John’s discarded plan he’s holding.  Karkat's faction hasn’t quite succeeded the bloody (heh) way so far, perhaps he needs John’s Breath to add some inspiration to it for the most success but they’re not giving him enough credit?  It’s hard to blame them for doubting him, though.

JOHN: that is a plus of being here, at least. JOHN: it's been really nice to get to spend so much time with you. HARRY: um. yeah, it's not so bad. HARRY: anyway, before you ruffle my hair or anything, it looks like things are getting a bit heated between the vriskas over there. HARRY: maybe we should offer them a snack to bring the mood back down? JOHN: me, mess up your hair when you’ve worked so hard on that look? i do know you at least that well, harry anderson HARRY: thank god.

Cute!

VRISKA: So you actually want to know what I’m thinking now? You want my opinion? VRISSY: Um...Yes? VRISSY: I'm not Really Sure what’s going on right Now. VRISKA: What? VRISSY: I just was wondering why you’re so pissed off at me. VRISKA: What the fuck are you talking about? VRISKA: I’m not pissed at you, you haven’t done shit 8asically at all since i’ve been here. VRISKA: I just can’t 8elieve I’m 8ack stuck in this tacky rumpusblock after all of that!

Both Vriskas are constantly assuming the other Vriska is thinking about them because they’re both Vriska, when they’re really both self-cente-- no, that’s not quite true.  Vrissy constantly assumes Vriska is thinking about her when she isn’t, and Vriska is somewhat grated because Vrissy belongs in this universe and she isn’t? Or--

Gosh they both have so many issues going on and firewalls up that I can’t actually make heads or tails of it.  Usually what’s on Vriska’s mind is painfully obvious from her dodges, but Vrissy is so oblique with her OWN weird thought processes that-- god I dunno

VRISSY: We could do Something if You Wanted. VRISKA: Huh? VRISSY: If you’re 8ored. VRISSY: This isn’t my House, but Harry has video games and Movies and shit. VRISSY: Actually, we’re pro8a8ly 8etter off not watching his movies. VRISSY: His taste is Worse than His Dad’s. VRISKA: AGGGHHH!!!!!!!!

They’re from two different worlds, yeah.

VRISKA: No, I don’t want to watch a fucking movie! How the fuck can you think a8out movies????????? VRISKA: How are you okay with any of this? VRISSY: Any of What? VRISKA: 8eing left at home like a couple of dri88ling of wigglers!

Vriska invests all of her self-worth in what she can bring to the table relevance-ways.  Her self-esteem couldn’t survive the sidelines.

VRISKA: How are you so calm right now? Your lusii were training you, right? And you’re a troll, you’re definitely five times stronger than a human! And if you’re my clone, you are way more 8adass than little miss Fussy Fangs. VRISKA: I can’t 8elieve you just stayed 8ehind?!?? VRISSY: Well...they told me to. And they’re my Moms.

COMPLETELY different lives.  Vriska has never really accepted, never really KNEW what “peaceful life” is actually supposed to be, nor how alluring and satisfying it is.

VRISKA: Clearly not a good plan, 8ecause then I would 8e part of it! VRISKA: What’s the point of me even coming to this shitty fake reality if I’m not supposed to fix it?

hahahahahahahaha

VRISSY: Yeah, they told me about That stuff, but a Lot of the Shit that Happened in the Session if just not in the History Books. VRISSY: You weren’t Really mentioned that Much. VRISKA: Excuse me? VRISSY: People know who you Are, 'cause we had to Memorize the names of Every one of the Players, Even the ones who didn’t last very Long. VRISKA: You’re trying to tell me that there’s a whole recorded history of SGRUB, and I’m not in it?  VRISSY: You’re not not in it.  VRISSY: I guess they Mostly Focused on the Creators who Ascended, you know?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

--hm, what if some of the pre-retcon timeline where Vriska WASN’T as involved DID fold its way into this one?  Explaining Jane remembering Gamzee showing up early in her session to sell her troll blood when that was (if we’re remembering right, correct me if I’m wrong) erased by the retcon in favor of Vriska time-traveling in in his place?

VRISKA: Whoever was schoolfeeding you was a complete 8ulgesucker, because I “ascended” 8efore any of the humans did!! VRISKA: Literally 8illions of years 8efore, since our session was the one that created theirs!!!!!!!! VRISKA: I was the 8ne who 8uided John’s 8uffoonish 8lue ass all the way through his first 8ew days in the Medium! VRISKA: I m8de all the plans to take down the J8cks! VRISKA: I SINGLE H8ND8DLY! VRISKA: CURED YOUR MOTHER’S FUCKING ALCH8LISM!!!!!!!! JOHN: uh, vriska, everything okay over there? VRISKA: EVERYTHING’S FINE, J8HN! JOHN: okay. JOHN: do you girls want a snack? VRISKA: AAAAGGH!

HA!

HARRY: vriska, eat whatever. HARRY: just not the zebra cakes, those are mine.

(Zebra cakes are kinda Barbasol-bomb-like, right? Doom thing, because black-and-white stripes like most of the black-and-white-striped explosives in Homestuck? --Nah that’s a stretch.)

> (==>)

--That’s not Jane’s head, that’s JOHN’S head giving a thumbs up.  Wow.

...Your plan prominently features Yiffy even though you didn’t know she existed until a couple hours ago?

JOHN: so anyway, as you can see, this would have worked just fine! HARRY: no i think karkat’s right. this looks like shit, dad. JOHN: you know, me letting your earlier use of the word "fuck" slide wasn't a blanket approval for all cursing in front of me. HARRY: sorry. HARRY: try not to make such a shit plan, and i won't call it that. JOHN: haha wow.

Harry really is his son, wow

HARRY: i mean, i still can't believe i told vrissy and them to bring a dead celebrity to school. HARRY: what was i THINKING. JOHN: you were thinking it sounded hilarious! JOHN: but yeah, in hindsight, maybe not the best call. JOHN: maybe it’s genetic? HARRY: yeah.

Harry really is his son, wow

HARRY: i kinda can’t believe we’re all still alive, actually. HARRY: and how did YOU make it this far, being so bad at this? JOHN: i had my friends with me, i guess.

Pretty much!

Plus, they haven’t really had time to talk about what happened with Dave, yet, and he doesn’t want to tank the mood by bringing him up.

Glad John’s taken some time to deal with that offscreen, so he can keep being cheery here.

He’d spent so long seeing mostly the best parts of Roxy in Harry Anderson. He forgot, he guesses, to look for himself in there, too. And if what they have in common right now is a lack of strategic foresight, hey, he’ll take it.

Hah, fair enough!

JOHN: speaking of friends, i will say the snacks were a good call, at least! JOHN: i don’t hear any more screaming, anyway. JOHN: see, that's one good plan between the two of us!

--they left, didn’t they.

> (==>)

HARRY: oh, that was definitely them leaving, wasn’t it. JOHN: ah.

--So was Vrissy peer-pressured along, or practically abducted?

> (==>)

--Oh, this was the picture I glimpsed and scrolled past on Twitter!  She’s not on the ground, she’s running-- good.

> (==>)

--ALREADY!  Fuck yes!  :D

(and those cute paws on jade’s gloves wow)

> (==>)

--Oh I thought that was an air-lift! No, they were just diving to the ground with her.

Man, the pacing of this panel-to-panel composition throws me SO much.  Stuff happens without being properly established, and we’re shown the wrong keyframes to internalize it easily.  (I hope I don’t have to keep mentioning how much I miss Andrew’s talent at it, even though the art WITHIN panels is better here.)

So Jane is confronting them with soldiers.

ROSE: Oh, is this one of those rare and marvelous beasts, the "villain speech"? ROSE: I've written one or two in my time. ROSE: I'm on the edge of my seat. I hope it's better than your political material; I've always found that rather trite. JANE: I haven't given a political speech in years, Ms. Lalonde. I don't know what you're referring to. I'm just a simple business woman. JADE: right with her own talk show JADE: and multi billion dollar merchant company and lobbying groups! JANE: That's what a business woman is, Jade, dear.

--ah, in this perspective maybe Jane DOESN’T have the resources to be “everywhere” yet.  Makes more sense that they could’ve left the home unguarded.

JANE: But enough of that. I'll skip straight to the point. JANE: You are on my territory, in the presence of my secret police, laying your hand on my investment.

QUIT DEHUMANIZING THE GIRL

JANE: You think I come anywhere unprepared? I haven't left the house without an armed guard in years. ROSE: Is it the libidinous power rush that comes from snapping your fingers at men with guns, or are you worried that you might accidentally do something heroic?

Rose usually has decent snapbacks I guess

I don’t think Rose’s plan was to admit themselves into custody like Jane is asking, but I’m not ruling it out.

> (==>)

(this image is so cute)

JADE: wow could you be any more full of yourself?? JADE: shut the fuck up for a minute and look up!

> (==>)

Ahwhoops.  Jane misunderstood who’s in control of the situation.

> (==>)

Ooh!  That’s threatening.  :)

(Tavros is playing along, but he doesn’t HAVE to fake that sweat.)

KANAYA: If You Make One Single Move I Will Bite Him Directly On The Exterior Shout Tunnel KANAYA:  I Will Turn Your Son Into A Rainbow Drinker KANAYA: Then You Will Have A Rainbow Drinker Son JANE: That's not how troll vampirism works, don't treat me like an imbecile! JANE: You think I don't know everything there is to know about your disgusting biology? KANAYA: KANAYA: Okay Then I Will Just Break His Fucking Neck

HAH

Yeah, mutual child-threat standoff.  Jane isn’t going to make that sacrifice, AND can’t be SEEN making that sacrifice.

> (==>)

Jane Crocker hesitates.

This is something that she used to do regularly. Hesitate. Stop and think and weigh her options. Talk out every possible scenario and the impact they might have, morally and optically and socially. What would the political apparatus think? What would her social media followers think, her friends? As the years went by and she honed her instincts, she found herself doing this less and less.

Yeah, the difference between deserving a Just death or not is whether you’re willing to check yourself and allow another’s will to override your own.  To allow someone who ISN’T you to have a say in how reality unfolds, to consider that what you want may not be right.

The impact that her words made became lessened when spread out across such a wide and thirsty audience, as public sentiment began to swing her way. She stopped thinking about how she would be received, and more about how she could play to the people she knew would receive her favorably. 

Yeesh.  Topical.

Looking up she sees Tavvy with tears in his eyes. Rage and guilt surge inside her. This situation is not her fault.

Anger is based in fear.  Jane is not just afraid for Tavros, but afraid that she’s at fault.  And the more she fears and has to deny that, the angrier she’ll get.

Is it angry enough to make a rash decision here?

> (==>)

JANE: This situation is not my fault! 

Jesus, she even said it out loud?

JANE: I'm the only one who has taken any interest in her upbringing or education! JANE: Or have you forgotten who has been paying for her schooling and taking charge of her introduction into society? JADE: i never asked you to do that! JADE: you offered! JADE: so stop calling me ungrateful for not sucking your dick over things i never asked for!

Taking something that was a clear, ostensibly-selfless gift and using it as a transactional club.  I hate that.  Nothing shows how transparently little you actually believed in the “selfless thing to do” than that.

> (==>)

She can't just stand here and let herself be humiliated, allowing two architects of the insurgency mess her around like this.

If they were to kill Tavros, the entire world would see them commit this war crime. And weighed in the balance, Lalonde and Harley would be off the playing board. Saving your daughter certainly counted as a heroic death, and with the damage they'd done to humanity, it would also probably be just.

Tavros has not called out for her once. Perhaps he knows what her choice was always going to be.

Whoa you made that choice pretty easily, psycho-Jane.  Are you actually gonna try it???

> (==>)

JAKE: Tavvy! 

Oh shit, the plan!  :D

--if Jake isn’t just.  Um.  Taking the threat to Tavvy seriously, not having realized this was a bluff.  Um.  Jake?

> (==>)

That looks like he’s taking it seriously.  Shit.

At least Jane will look like even MORE of a monster if she gives the order this way.

> (==>)

JANE: Stand down!

I don’t think Jake’s gonna listen to you when it comes to Tav’s safety anymore.

> (==>)

JANE: Get out of my sight.

Oh.

Is she letting Jade, Rose and Yiffy go?  --probably, but it’s unclear.

Damn this panel-to-panel framing not conveying what’s going on properly.

Guess that’s it for now!  Patreon Commentary....... I’ve been putting off the commentary backlog for a long time, but I think the Homestuck Commentary coverage deficit still has to wait a while longer because the World Is A Fuck and I have to devote more time to stress relief than usual.  Take care y’all

EDIT: extra bit on gamzee corpse here

[mechmech]

Ok so I know this is like my first post but I’ve been working on it cause a friend did it for their dnd character and I was like this could be fun and give people some insight. Questions wandered as Mecha 1-100

Smell like: oil, sweat, and more recently baby spit-up

Voice: Not many people will understand this fem-V from cyberpunk. Sorta gravely

Motivator: Research mostly. Finding out new things and applying them. More recently though her kid and making a better world for them.

Most embarrassing memory: She doesn’t like to share this story, but when she was younger and moved around with her sister mecha, she was afraid to GO in the woods because she accidentally wandered onto a farmer’s land and was caught pantsless.

How do they react to pain: “ You wanna hit me go ahead, just stay away from the hands and eyes” She can deal with a great deal of physical pain but when it comes to emotions and others she is like a mage named Corren

Wear: Normally throughout the day, she wears her metal armor. Outside of her armor, she wears a simple black dress when relaxing, a work apron while working, and always Always gauntlets and a blindfold

Most positive relationship: THis is difficult because so many of them have done different things, but most probably Corren and her want to be more good like him

The weirdest thing I have ever eaten: Correns cooking

Sleep: “Alister! Corren! Cuddle me!” Yea she will cuddle up with almost any person who trusts and it depends on the person. Alister: Alister is the big spoon and mecha buries herself into his chest and stomach. Corren: Mecha is like a koala to Corren and just hugs onto a single leg.

Favorite food/ kinda food: Vegetables honestly, but also baked goods like bread

Most insecure about: How others see her

Like to wear: adaptable clothing, something that can be used for many different functions and also gotta be able to get dirty and clean when you need it

How do they react to feelings of guilt: Previously they bottled them up, but more and more they are learning to talk to others about that guilt. Ultimately she always feels guilty for something

React to betrayal: Depends on the person buuuttttt, angry, blames themself for part of it, tries to move on quickly

Greatest achievement: MOCHA

Too little sleep: quiet and most likely taking a nap in the skeleton’s arms. That's If she is actually tired. Shel heals fatigue in an instant.

What are they like a drunk: If she drinks and gets drunk and that's a big if she becomes an I love you drunk and we'll just tell everyone what she likes about them before passing out.

Music likes: A lot of Rock and techno music, a little bit of pop only because it fits.

Right or left-handed: She always works with her hammer in her right hand.

Fears: Being completely alone, losing her friends, losing Mocha, destroying the world, the unknown, diseases, being like her mother

Favorite weather: Nice sunny days with a slight breeze

Favorite color: it’s hard because it's between gold and blue

Collect anything: besides random trophies, rocks that she sometimes gives away.

Hot or cold weather: Hot because you can cool down easily.

Eye color: Goldenish/ yellow

Race/ ethnicity: Well Gremlin in Sekrezia, in the real world through it's between Brazilian and Irish

Hair color: Ginger/ red

Happy where they are currently: Nope, not even a little bit. She's upset because she believes she has possibly doomed the world and has actually found someone she can connect with/ has some feeling for and they just keep backsliding her. She also hates that she has to leave her new daughter.

Mounting person: YES!!! Up early to get shit done

Sunrise or sunset: Sunrise is extremely pretty to watch especially when you can but caves are a thing.

Messy or organized: Like myself, it's a chaotic form of organization

Pet peeves: Jumping to conclusions, mistreating machines

Objects of significant importance: Her forge hammer which is like a badge of office saying she is a member of a smithing guild and her evil eye because a really good friend helped her make it.

Least favorite food: The rock she accidentally tried to eat while she was tired delirious one night in a cave.

Least favorite color: Kelly Green. Look it looks like puke, nothing against other greens but this one ugh

Least favorite smell: Decaying flesh

The last time they cried: mhhh a few weeks but it's gonna be soon. Definitely the birth of her child.

Anybody with them: entire party forMochas birth, but other than that Corren and Alistar

The time they got injured: Well getting crushed by a giant cube was bad, the worst injury would probably be getting dragged into lava by her own creation that she loved.

Scars: Nope none so far that are physical. Some mental ones that she's working through.

Mental health issues: Paranoia, Depression, Suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem, PTSD

Bad habits: Shutting everyone else out.

Why might someone dislike her: SHe can be a bit standoffish and definitely hard-headed.

Why might someone love her: He has a big heart for those she cares about, she's smart and also creates a lot of small gifts that aren't for value but personal reasons.

Believe in ghosts: Literally was in a plane of the dead, soooo yes

Anyone they would trust with their life: Corren, Alistar, Torvid, Simple,

Romantically interested in anyone: Spectra, depends on the person. ACE and Demiromantic

Dating/ Married: Complicated is what it is. Yes dating somewhat but it’s not a good relationship

Like surprises: Yes, surprises are nice and add a bit of fun to life. Other than a somewhat surprising pregnancy.

Birthday: I honestly forget but it's their weave day

Celebrate their birthday: Only with those they care about, which is few but some members of the party yes.

Family: Dad is dead, Mom is alive supposedly but she was supposed to be dead, and sister is possibly dead but in a bit of denial about it

Close to their family: Chosen family yes.

MBTI type: ISTP

Zodiac signs: I forget the sekrezian one but in real life Aquarius

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

Alignment; Chaotic neutral/ good

Nightmares: Losing the entire party in ways that they caused ore were directly a part of.

View on death: CHanged a lot as their questline has gone on but “Once someone has passed from this world and seen the raven queen and chosen their afterlife that is it, they are at peace and will stay there unless the gods dictate differently. Past a resurrection people should not come back. I have learned this the hard way and watched what happens when you play with death”.

Something they always laugh at: Corren getting flustered and digging himself into holes he can't get out of.

When bored, what do they do: Read a book/ tinker with new experiments

Enjoy the outside: yes, especially new areas where there are unexplored places.

Accent: Somewhat of a german accent but I’m no good at replicating it

Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, the first reaction: “Who left this perfectly good piece of cake here?”

If they knew they were going to die what would they do/ say: Alister: Be a good father to Mocha, Corren: Be a good stepfather to Mocha and make sure Alister stays on the right path, Simple Geoff: didn't like you at first but your apart of my family now, Maple: Live your best life and don't let other people tell you what you can be also given up on revenge it's never as sweet as you think, Lautrec: (Opens box) sorry it took a while, Vlog: “you don't like me, I kinda like you, protect your own but never stop learning and exploring.

Feelings about sex: Mecha doesn’t want sex and feels really uncomfortable with it especially around people she doesn’t know, but around friends, she’s willing to talk about it but will also respect preferences.

Sexuality: questioning, but Grey-ace

Squeamish around blood: Nope “ I saved a man that had a lethal arrow through his neck”

Anything they find gross: Living hair/ hair constructs

TV trope: Reclusive nerd with a big heart

Enjoy helping people: Yes she really likes to help those who need it, but if she believes you can help yourself she will leave you to it.

Allergies: Seasonal/ pollen

Pet: Multiple constructs that range from a skeleton to a walking piece of glass

Quick to anger: No, she has somewhat of a calm head that eventually boils over and then causes a big yelling fight/ random actions such as throwing a stick of dynamite in a graveyard.

How patient is she: Rather patient especially when listening, not the greatest responder though

Good at cooking: Hell yea they are, give them a pan and they'll make you a feast

Favorite insult:” I'm coming for your knees” “Don't make me get the fume engine”

How do they act when happy: Huge grin on their face and they start fidgeting.

What do they do when they learn about others’ fears: Tease them slightly in private but keep the information to themselves.

Trustworthy: yes and very loyal to her friends.

Do they try to hide their emotions: Definitely but not always the greatest at hiding them cause everyone has a great sense of motive.

Exercise regularly: We walk and adventure every day while she carries probably over 25lb of mechanical items so yes.

Comfortable with the way they look: Mhh sometimes, but not always. She really doesn't like that she reminds herself of her sister or that she has distinct eyes.

Features they find attractive on others: Not really features, she's more into personality but she does like people’s eyes.

Personalities they find attractive: Protective, Kind, Smart, honest, loyal.

Do they like sweet foods: definitely into the sweeter things in life,

Age: in sekrezia: 204, equivalent age is like 45-55

Tall or short: 3ft pretty short but and on the shorter side of her race

Glasses or contacts: Nope just a cool ass blindfold and no it's not for BDSM

Consider herself attractive: Nope, not at all. SHes surprised if someone likes her in that way.

Sense of humor: Both dark and sexual but at the same time dad jokes as much as possible. Also random improv she comes up with on the spot, which is slightly me

What mood are they in most often: THe mood of trying to figure out how something works

What angers them: Hurting children, hurting the party, destroying art and machines, using others to your own gain, rape, slavery

Outlook on life: “Life is full of twists and turns. There is never bad without good. Take your time and really think about what you do, but don't forget to also just let go and go wild every now and then.

What makes them sad or depressed: THinking of their family/ friends being gone, children with no home, Mocha growing up alone.

Greatest weakness: Turning the mind against them/ lack of belief in herself and that she is not responsible for the world.

Greatest strength: Open mind and somewhat open heart.

Something they regret: not letting them self grieve for pax in a different way than hunting them down and screwing the world.

Biggest accomplishment: Having a kid

Hope for the future: open an orphanage and continue helping the Fucks make the world at least a little brighter.

[staticscreenwriting]

I don’t love you // Chapter 1

Chapter One - Bluebird 

Synopsis: Jess is over Rory, only he’s not. Olivia is tired of trying to find the one piece missing from her life, only she’s not. A wedding, a bus ride, a lost notebook and an unforseen offer bring these two together and spark the idea that maybe the best people do enter your life in the most unexpected ways. A/N: I’ve uploaded parts of this story before on a blog specifically dedicated to it but I want most of my writing in one place so here’s a reupload. This is NOT a literati fic! 

" There's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I'm too tough for him,I say, stay in there,

I'm not going to let anybody see you. "

- Bluebird (Charles Bukowski)

There was an ice cold beer clutched in his hand, half empty already, and a lady to his right that had been trying to engage in a conversation about the weather for the last 15 minutes. None of that really mattered, none of that he really acknowledged.

There was only her. Her dancing and laughing and singing along to the cheesy pop songs he knew she'd never admit to liking but secretly sang along to at home when she thought no one was watching. Her and the way her hair that had been perfectly pinned back earlier was now slowly coming undone, strands framing her perfect face that had changed so much and yet so little in all this time.

Her and her all consuming, breathtaking, heart shattering beauty. Her and all the memories of all the feelings that had ever been there and would always be there.

God, he was so screwed.

This was the "I love you" all over again, the Yale visit, the open house. He had honestly thought he had left this part of his past behind. That he was over her. He had tried over and over and it never ended with a happily ever after for him, not with her. Maybe they just weren't meant to be.

He had really thought he'd learned his lesson and yet here he was staring at her and wondering if he'd ever completely get over her or if he might be doomed to forever be in love with Rory Gilmore.

" You know if you keep staring at her any longer it's gonna change from kinda cute to downright creepy, right ?! " he heard his younger cousin's voice speak up as she plopped down in the seat to his right, the weather lady had apparently gotten the hint that he was not interested in a conversation with her and had wandered off at some point.

" What do you know ? Aren't you busy being edgy, smoking, finding yourself ? " he replied and gave April little smirk and a friendly shove with his shoulder. She was a peculiar one his cousin, had been since the first time he'd met her but she'd done a lot of growing up over the years and had turned from a strange kid into quite the smart and witty adult, pseudo hippy phase and all.

" Haha, aren't you funny, Jess. Seriously though, what's up with the longing looks ? "

" Ah you know, just figuring out that I'm still in love with the girl I dated when I was in high school. The girl that made me change into the person I am today. The girl that is the sole reason I became a better person. " Is what he thought but there was no way in hell Jess would ever talk about his feelings. Ever. " Don't know what you're talking about. "

" Sure you don't. Just sayin' you could go over there and actually talk to her instead of glaring a hole through her head."

That he could do, but what would he say ?

"Hey Rory, sorry to interrupt but I just realized that part of me is still madly in love with you. " ?

" Oh hi there Rory, been watching you all night wondering if we ever stood a chance, wondering if we still might stand one. Wondering if this could ever be us, getting married and all that. " ?

Those were the things that were ghosting through his head but he'd be damned if he ever told those to anyone, especially Rory. He'd tried that before, multiple times, and look how that turned out. To be fair one of those times he ran off, but that was only that one time.

No, there really wasn't anything he could tell her that would change anything about this situation. She had enough on her plate as it was, she was writing a book for god's sake and if anyone knew how stressful and chaotic that time is, it was Jess. The last thing she'd need was him bringing up old feelings and confusion.

" There's nothing to talk about. "

" Okay, James Dean. I know that whole repressing your emotions deal runs in the family and works well with the grumpy mysterious guy image you're trying to maintain but that needs to stop. You're clearly still into this girl and I'm not gonna sit here and watch you throw away what might be your last shot at your epic love story. "

" Oh Jesus when did you start getting so corny. Does Lorelei make you watch 80s romcoms when you're over at their place ? Does Luke know she's doing this to you ? "

" Jess, I'm serious. Sometimes you gotta fight for the things you want. "

For the first time in a while Jess left his gaze drift from Rory and turned towards his cousin.

" I'm 33 years old, April. I'm done fighting over girls, fighting for girls. Things either work out or they don't and they obviously didn't for me and her. "

" But what if you're her Luke ? "

" What if I'm not ? What if I don't want to be ? I don't want her to settle for me after years and years of trying. I want to be a conscious decision. For once in my life I want someone to chose me. Not because of a feeling of guilt or nostalgia or comfort or because they feel like they owe me or because they feel responsible. I'm done with this. I can't do it all over again. "

A silence settled upon them as neither of them really knew where those words had suddenly come from. If there was one thing you didn't except from Jess Mariano it was as sudden outburst of honest emotions.

" Okay. "

" Okay ? "

" Okay, I get it. I didn't mean to push you to do something you don't want to do. I just wanted to help. I want you to be happy. "

" I am happy. "

" Are you ? "

Was he ? Yeah. Sure. Truncheon was going well, he liked his job, liked his coworkers, his friends. He had his own little apartment & his own car. He was in the process of coming up with ideas for a second book. He wasn't particularly phased by the fact that he'd been single for a while now either. Whenever he felt like it Jess had no problem sweet talking a girl at a bar. Girls, he had found out a while ago, were totally into the broody writer persona.

Was he truly happy though ? He didn't know.

" Yeah. "

" Okay. "

" Look, April. You know I'm not big on the whole family reunion stuff, especially here in Stars Hollow where half the population still holds a grudge against me. I came for Luke but he and Lorelei ran off a while ago so there's really no harm in me leaving too, right ? "

It was the truth, Jess wasn't particularly thrilled about returning to the Connecticut town he'd spend some time in as a teenager, but there was no way in hell he could've said no to Luke. The man had done more for him than anyone in his entire life, his mom included. He'd been one of the few who'd believed in him when even Jess himself had almost lost hope that he'd ever amount to something. He owed Luke so much and showing up to his wedding was the least he could do.

" You've been drinking. "

" Last bus is leaving in 20 minutes. "

" To Philly ? That's a long ass drive, Jess. Are you sure you don't wanna crash at the apartment above Luke's and leave tomorrow ? "

" I got a book with me, it'll be fine. No offense April, but if I don't leave now I'm just getting sucked back into things that I should've left behind a long time ago."

" What about your car ? "

" I was thinking, maybe my favorite cousin would like to come visit me in Philadelphia before she goes back home, and maybe she could bring my car with her? " April stared at him for a moment and Jess could see the gears turning in her head, trying to come up with an idea to get him to stay. His mind was made up though, if he'd stay he'd have to get drunk and if there was one place Jess Mariano didn't want be drunk at, it was the town center of Stars Hollow with his ex girlfriend in close proximity.

" Alright " April said and let out a defeated sigh " Be careful and don't talk to any sleazy looking guys. "

" Yeah okay, mom. " Jess replied and took a last sip on his now empty bottle of beer.

As he got up off the chair, Jess' glance wandered back over to Rory. He could go after her, fight for her, show her the man he was today and how this was all for her. He could. But he didn't. Because he was scared ? Maybe. But also because he was just tired. Tired of running after the same girl over and over again. Always failing.

" Just so you know, I don't think you're doing the right thing. Just running from your emotions. " April spoke up. " Well cousin, I don't think you're doing the right thing getting your nose pierced and acting like a pothead when they could probably sell you oregano without you noticing. Yet here I am, accepting your decisions. "

" You're an ass. " April responded as a small smirk tugged at the corners of her lips.

" That's family. Thought you'd be used to that by now. Seriously though, don't worry about me kid. "

" That's family, Jess. We always worry. Thought you'd be used to that by now " She replied with a smile before walking away, back into the sea of Stars Hollow residents that were singing and dancing to some obscure 90s popsong.

This family, his family, was quite honestly a mess. It was a family though, something he hadn't had for the longest time. And no matter how strange or broken over overly intrusive or annoying they were, they meant the world to him. Because they were his people and to them, to Luke and April he was a conscious decision. It was their decision to care and to worry and Sometimes you gotta admit defeat.

With one last look towards Rory, the girl that changed it all, Jess turned his back towards the gazebo covered in dozens of fairy lights and the quirky town that surrounded it and took on the walk towards the bus stop. Maybe April was right and he was just running from his emotions and his crippling fear of rejection. But so what ? Sometimes you gotta let yourself be scared to save yourself from pain.

Sometimes you gotta run.

[laora-inn]

Supernatural - Of Dean, Cas and Pies

Well, in this post I’ve said that Cas = Dean’s pie and promised to talk about it later. 

I’ve seen a lot of meta considering Destiel, cakes and pies. In fiction, food is always kinda connected with sex and craving for it, and also with death. All the cycle, Eros and Tanathos, you know. 

So it’s no wonder that there are lots of food in Supernatural and lots of it’s possible interpretations. Maybe, ALL of them are right simultaneously. 

The version about Dean’s food personally I like, by @amwritingmeta from here:

Trash Food: the life of the hunter = saving people, hunting things Pie: home and stability (the longing for his mother and his longing for love) Cake: at first being reluctant, but open, to trying new things 

I think it’s absolutely correct. That’s why Dean’s hook-up with Anna in 5x10 is characterized by Uriel as “having a piece of angel food cake”. Anna is an angel, it’s certainly new experience for Dean, to hook up with an angel. 

The cake could also refer to Dean’s bisexuality, though in my opinion there is a bigger problem here.  

‘Cause you know, there will be a great difference in the sharpness of your sexual experience and in aftertaste if it’s not just sex but something more, an emotional connection. And that connection is the scariest part of every possible relationship.   

So I don’t see the point in Dean’s sexuality there. The point is whether Dean want to try something new of not, both in his sexual preferences and family life, in his life at all. 

From the Supernatural wiki:

There have been occasions when Dean has been tempted by cake:

3.02. The Kids Are Alright: Dean is seen eating birthday cake with a young Ben Braeden at his birthday party.

7.03. The Girl Next Door: While laid up with his broken leg, Dean asks Sam to go on a food run. When Dean asks, “Where’s the pie?” Sam says, “You got cake, that’s close enough, right?” Dean does not eat the piece of cake.

7.06. Slash Fiction: Dean ask Sam to buy him something that “rhymes with songs songs” i.e. Ding Dongs which a small chocolate cake with a creamy center.

10.12. About a Boy: 14-year-old Dean snacks on cake while he is held captive, he didn’t much care for it.

10.15. The Things They Carried: In a police station, there is a birthday cake on the desk. The police officer offers cake to Sam and Dean, but Sam declines on their behalf. Dean looks disappointed, and sneaks a fingerful of icing.

I think all of them, situation with Anna included (textual references can work even better than visual ones, as for me), refer to Dean’s possibilities of new experience. 

In 3x02 he had a possibility of a new family with Lisa and Ben, and he tried it. Back then the show was supposed to end with them as Dean’s constant family. So we’ve got a cake and Dean who’s eating it, possibly enjoying. 

7x03 is crucial for Destiel shippers. Why? ‘Cause that’s the moment than Dean needed A PIE and got A CAKE from Sam instead. And nope, he didn’t manage to eat it. Why? Because this cake isn’t his pie. In 7x02 Dean lost Cas. And nothing can replace him, more than that, Dean doesn’t want to try anything new, he just can’t even if Sam helps and doesn’t see the difference. 

7x06 was Dean’s prompt to try something new - to have a daughter with Lydia. He didn’t make it either.  

Also he didn’t like the cake he ate in 10x12 as a teenager, said the cake was too dry. So he didn’t stay a teenager (someone he used to be a long time ago, but being a teenager now is new experience for him, a chance to start a new life, without Mark of Cain on his arm). Dean preferred to stay an adult in this episode - he tried something new and didn’t like it. 

In 10x15 Dean tried the cake = something new. I think it’s the moment when they’ve finally said us: okay, guys. In case you still have some doubts, let’s clarify. A new endgame for Dean comes, not with Lisa and Ben for sure. 

So whom with? Oh, well. Maybe with an angel whom Dean gave the First Blade, like he’s preferring him to Crowley? An angel whom Cain saw Dean’s parallel to his wife Colette in? Both moments were in episode 10x14, the previous one!

If 10x14 and 10x15 haven’t clarified it to us yet, in 10x16 Dean also says that there are some people and some feelings he wants to try in a different way. Yep, something new. Three times make no coincidence. This “new” is connected to Cas, and here from cakes appearances are rare. ‘Cause Dean’s already in the path of trying something new. 

I think that’s the reason why there were no cakes and pies in season 11th. I love this season very much, it’s also supposed to be the last one, and I suggest Destiel endgame was planned here at the end, maybe not in explicit form, but still. We could tell it looking to the story fabric. 

And then they’ve just torn it up at the very end and added 4 more seasons, full of Destiel and pies. Why pies, not cakes? Why pies remain and are still relevant to the story?

‘Cause after Destiel “confession”, which wasn’t at the end of 11th season, but was supposed to be there for sure (and that’s the reason why 11x23 looks like kinda awkward to me, especially Destiel talk in the car about friendship and brotherhood, which was a big step back itself), Dean and Cas aren’t subtextually “something new” to each other. They are ALREADY “family”, and not like brothers. They are couple. 

It’s no wonder that after this point pie=Cas for Dean. No, not Mary. Mary is a part of equation, but her special dish isn’t a pie, she can’t even cook pies. No, not Sam. Sam can bring a pie for Dean, but that’s Dean who should be confident enough to take it. 

But actually even before season 12, since season 7, pie references were connected with Cas mostly. 

From season 1 to season 6 they mean rather a family in broader sense. ‘Cause “apple-pie life”, you know. Life with the family, who loves you, not with the toxic people.  

More quotes for us from the wiki, seasons 1-3:

The running gag relating to Dean's pie love, is that Dean rarely gets to eat his pie.

1.11. Scarecrow: In Burkittsville Indiana Scotty's Cafe serves apple pie made from the towns apple crop. "We’re famous for our apples. So, you gotta try this pie." he tells a couple who the townsfolk will later try to kill. Dean orders a piece of the pie. Later when Dean is tied up as a sacrifice, he yells the now classic line ""I hope your apple pie is freakin’ worth it!"

2.21. All Hell Breaks Loose: Part One: Dean asks Sam to get him some pie from a diner while he waits in the car. Once inside, Sam is taken by demons and transported to Cold Oak, with the other Special Children.

3.05. Bedtime Stories: When a young couple, Ken and Julie, are lost in the woods, they come across a sweet old lady who invites them inside her house to rest. Ken sees pie cooling on her windowsill and accepts her invitation despite Julie's reservations. Once they've eaten a fair amount of the pie, it is revealed the pie was poisoned, and the old lady kills Ken with a butcher's knife while he lies on the floor unable to fight her off.

3.16. No Rest for the Wicked: When Lilith kills her host's grandfather, he literally falls face first onto a piece of pie.

Here we see that pies are mostly connected to family, death and danger. Because in seasons 1-3 the Winchesters have no chance to a happy family. They are deeply in a toxic relationship with each other (poisoned pie), their father is dead, Sam is doomed, and they can’t be happy. That’s why Dean can’t have his pie here. That’s why he accuses Sam of wanting an "apple-pie life” in 1x01 - Dean doesn’t think he deserves this life himself and mocks on it while craving for it. His greatest fear, as far as we know in season 1, is to be abandoned. To have no family at all, even the toxic one.

So, in the end of season 3 Dean dies because of his deal, which purpose was to save his only family member left. Sam, who is holding Dean’s corpse in the end of 3x16. Yep, dead face in the pie. 

Kinda tragic, you know. 

Situation in seasons 4-5 looks just a slight better to me. Pies are more likely a symbol of happy family now... except the fact that Dean can hardly get them:

4.01. Lazarus Rising: When Sam and Dean are in a diner following Dean's resurrection, Dean orders pie. Unfortunately, the pie is brought to them by a possessed waitress, and Dean is unable to enjoy it. After their confrontation with the demons in the diner, Dean leaves money to pay for the pie.

4.02. Are You There, God? It's Me, Dean Winchester: When faced with a pile of research on angels, Dean demands of Sam, "You're gonna get me some pie!" When Sam returns sans pie (due to encountering Ruby), Dean complains, "Dude, Where's the pie?"

5.15. Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid: Karen Singer finds baking makes life as a zombie easier, and fills Bobby's house with pies. On one of the few occasions Dean gets to eat pie, it's baked by a zombie.

5.16. Dark Side of the Moon: In Heaven, Dean and Sam relive a memory from when Dean was four years old. Mary makes him a sandwich with a glass of milk and then has a brief argument on the phone with John. Dean goes to comfort her, and Mary hugs him and says "You are my little angel. How ‘bout some pie?" This may be a clue to the origin of Dean's love of pie, and his associations between pie and comfort.

5.19. Hammer of the Gods: Mercury tells Dean after checking in that the hotel has "the best pie in the tri-state area." Sam also warns Dean that they should leave the motel while eating at the buffet: “It’s Biblical, exactly. It’s friggin’ Noah’s ark out there and we’re eating pie”.

Situations in 4x01 and 4x02 refer to Sam. He can’t be a pie for Dean, his family anymore, ‘cause he has Ruby now, a demon. Demons interfere between Dean and pie. Well, sorry for them. 

Situation in 5x15 refer to Bobby as a part of family whom Dean in this episode wants to save. Also pies here have a straight connection to death, even the Death himself. 

Karen also says, that Dean’s never been in love. He knows only familial love... and during this conversation he is eating a pie. Karen makes pies to bring peace=her love to Bobby, and this love is romantic for 100%. And hella tragic. 

I don’t think Dean was in love with Cas back then. Cas was his friend and meant a lot to Dean, maybe Dean was attracted to him somehow, hoped for him, even loved him - but, in my opinion, not romantically. 

So that time Cas just couldn’t be Dean’s pie. 

To tell the truth, I don’t think ANYONE besides Cas could.

From 5x16 we know, that pie for Dean means not just family, but a happy one, a family, where he is unconditionally and absolutely loved. We also know that the pie could be associated with the word “angel”, even if in the context of a season 5 that may sound kinda sarcastic. 

Pie from the 5x19, as I suppose, refer to another family. Not the Winchesters, but Lucifer and Gabriel. ‘Cause now, then Sam and Dean are the vessels, they are certainly a part of a BIGGER family (which also includes Cas, btw). But this family is absolutely awful, toxic and bloody. 

Let’s see how the textual references to the pies in seasons 4-5 work:

4.22. Lucifer Rising: when it seems like Dean has given up on Sam, Bobby gives him a talking to: “Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good?! Bake you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!”

5.12. Swap Meat: when Sam is returned to his own body, he confides in Dean that life as a normal kid "sucked ass": “All that apple-pie, family crap? It's stressful. Trust me, we didn't miss a damn thing”.

5.22. Swan Song: when Sam is preparing to say yes to Lucifer, he makes Dean promise that he won't try to get him back from Lucifer's Cage. He wants Dean to find Lisa and try to live a "normal, apple-pie life."

I think that’s what Dean wants from his family - to get an apple pie (unconditional love/appreciation). He can’t get it from them, and that’s the main tragedy in his life for the seasons 1-5. He is too fixated on them and can’t move on. 

Lisa and Ben are just a dream of an apple-pie life (love) for Dean. But you know, that’s not how it works. To notice someone’s love and to appreciate it, you should love them back. We've never had enough information about Lisa and Ben to make any conclusions about. And Sam’s words from 5x12 just state that they both, Sam and Dean, currently can’t believe that they deserve a happy family, deserve to be loved (hello Crowley’s allusion). 

Season 6 is poor for pies (and love), both textually and visually. That’s the season where Cas goes the dark side, ‘cause Dean doesn’t love him back (doesn’t trust him), so no wonder. 

Here some pie moments:

6.04. Weekend at Bobby's: Bobby's neighbor Marcy Ward brings him a ginger peach cobbler. Marcy, after some exposure to Bobby hunting, decides against dating Bobby, who never gets to eat the pie because he keeps getting interrupted.

6.08. All Dogs Go to Heaven: Dean is sick of soulless Sam trying to act normal, and he tells him that he doesn't buy his act: “You say you're "just folks," yeah? That - that you like baseball and apple pie, or whatever. But truth is, I don't know what you are, 'cause you're not Sam”.

6.11. Appointment in Samarra: Death tells Dean "What do you think the soul is? Some pie you can slice? The soul can be bludgeoned, tortured, but never broken, not even by me."

In Bobby’s case a pie=possible romantic relationship, but Bobby can’t get it. 

Dean in 6x08 means that even if soulless Sam says he likes/loves his family (Dean and Bobby), he lies. 

The last line I think isn’t connected with this all pie=love narrative. The Death just knows about Dean’s love for pies and says what he needs to say in a simple way. But it’s also about family - Sam’s soul, basically Sam himself.

And it’s season 7 where we have the narrative change! It deals not only with pies, but also with Dean’s feelings to Cas. I think he’s still not in love here. But Dean comes closer to understanding this season. Without this romantic subplot season 7 is just a mess. And you know, this subplot is something what is not easy to notice. That’s why season 7 was something that nearly killed all the show. You should be more open to your fans.

Pies in this season: 

7.02. Hello, Cruel World: A TV ad for Biggerson's announces they now have a homemade pie bar - like a salad bar but for pies!

7.03. The Girl Next Door: While laid up with his broken leg, Dean asks Sam to go on a food run. When Dean asks, "Where's the pie?" Sam says, "You got cake, that's close enough, right?" Dean does eat from the piece of cake and passes out on the couch, leaving it unfinished.

7.05. Shut Up, Dr. Phil: Dean is in the motel room, about to eat a cream pie, when Sam comes in and presents him with some chickens feet that they require to combat the witches. They have not been refrigerated due to a power blackout, and Dean is put off his pie.

7.22. There Will Be Blood: Dean is devastated to learn that the modified corn syrup the Leviathan are using to make humans docile and obese is in nearly all his favorite foods, including pie. Dean: "Roman acquires..." What's SucroCorp? Sam: They make food additives, namely high-fructose corn syrup. That crap is in – well, it's in just about everything – um, soda, sauces, bread. Dean: Don't say "pie." Sam: Definitely pie. Dean: Bastards.

Moment from 7x02 can refer to Leviathans that were in Cas. There are MANY of them, they were ruining his core. Connection to the death and danger once again, but this time it refers to Cas. FOR THE FIRST TIME. Why?

Moment from 7x03 had also a cake and was discussed before. The meaning of it that Dean wants Cas back and can’t move on. So, here Cas=Dean’s pie for sure. 

7x05 deals with the lovers’ quarrel that ruins the whole town. They are two powerful witches who need to be in peace, then the world will be whole once again. I think that refers to Cas’s and Dean’s quarrel at the end of 6th season, because IT IS basically the reason why Leviathans are here ruining the world. Dean and Cas should have been in peace to prevent it. 

Yep, Sam and Dean also have their quarrel about poor Amy, but this quarrel is a result of Dean’s misunderstanding with Cas, of Cas’s death. I feel sorry for Amy so much! She’s a victim of Dean’s personal issues, and that’s very mean of him, to kill Amy, who once was significant to Sam, in a kind of a mirror situation. I lost Cas - you’ll have to loose your monster girlfriend too, and why are you so obsessed with the monsters at all, hey, little brother?

The truth is Sam HAD NEVER such a powerful connection with a supernatural being that Dean had. It’s Dean who was obsessed with a monster, not Sam, and Dean IS still obsessed. So much, that he kills Amy in a prompt to be freed from obsession, to forget Cas’s death and the fact that it’s what is bothering him so much. 

So yes, now Dean can’t have his pie. Because Cas is dead, and the world is ruining (chickens feet that they require to combat the witches have not been refrigerated due to a power blackout, CAUSED by these witches‘ love quarrel). 

Definitely Sam and Dean have their own issues which can be very destroying but in this episode they haven’t. It’s LOVERS’ quarrel that ruins everything, as in the whole season 7. Once you’ll understand it, season 7 becomes much more interesting. The writers should be clearer with us here, but they weren’t brave enough. Personally I think THAT was the main problem for Sarah, but except this she is a good writer and she did an excellent work for all of us Destiel shippers. 

She prepared the scenery for the greatest love story I’ve seen. 

Pie conversation between Sam and Dean in 7x22 refers to Cas’s unstable mind. The Leviathans messed up Dean’s pie, and now he and Sam should try to beat them to bring the pie back. Just change the word “pie” here with “Cas” and you’ll see that’s absolutely adequate metaphor given to us by the writers themselves. 

Season 8 was a bliss for the shippers. I think Carver is a genius, I love the romantic story he made for Destiel SO MUCH. We see it within all of season he made, from 8 to 11, and it has a strong structure. Seasons 12-15 are more honest with DeanCas details and nuances, I’m absolutely in love with them, but simultaneously Destiel relationship in them is kinda... hidden sometimes, more than it was in seasons 8-11. 

In seasons 8-11 we had certain plot circumstances that prevent Dean and Cas from being together. We have no such circumstances in seasons 12-15. So, are Dean and Cas together ALREADY? But why the hell that’s not IN THE TEXT? Or they are not together? But then why do they have couple dynamics? 

Carver’s story for Destiel was PURE. The following story is more complex and in some way more painful, despite the fact we have Jack whom I adore. I fully understand writers’ reasons here: they can’t say in the text that Destiel is real till the end of the show, because I believe Destiel was the thing that's preventing show from shutting down all this time. The moment writers’ll recognize Destiel as a real thing for GA (like ”they are couple” in the text from the narrator we can trust) will be the moment that ends the show. OR THAT’S HOW DO THEY THINK. 

Personally I think that it’ll be interesting to see TFW future adventures with canon Destiel and Saileen, ‘cause for me there should be some adventures then far and some couples’ problems too. As I said, in seasons 12-15 Dean and Cas act like an arranged couple ALREADY, and it’s still interesting to watch them. Actually the fact that they are NOT couple confirmed by writers yet was one of the main reasons of fans’ annoyance and show shutting down imao. ‘Cause you know, fans don’t like to be played all the time. Sarah made this mistake in season 7 already.

Carver didn’t play us. 

So in season 8 we have 4 brilliant pie moments, connected with the all people who could be seen as Dean’s “family“ except Sam, one sure constant in his life. From this season we started to see Sam as Dean’s “child” and to understand it’s bad for both of them, it’s co-dependent relationship.

Notably, Dean fails to get his pie all these 4 times and despite the fact the other important for Dean people are involved, the pie ALWAYS refers to Cas. 

Here are these moments:

8.09. Citizen Fang: At the Gumbo Shack, Dean asks Elizabeth for some pie, but she is out of what he wants. "You’re out of pecan? Story of my life," says Dean. Martin Creaser is later seen at the Gumbo Shack eating a piece of pie, before he takes Elizabeth hostage.

8.19. Taxi Driver: Dean brings takeout from Biggerson's for himself and Kevin Tran, including a slice of pie. The paranoid Kevin grabs a tray and retreats to the storeroom. Dean moans "That's my pie!"

8.20. Pac-Man Fever: Charlie Bradbury comments: "I will pick us up some grub, and unlike you Sam, I will not forget the pie" referring to Sam's long history of failing to get Dean his pie as requested, a fact she obviously read in the the Supernatural books. Notably, Charlie also fails to get Dean any pie.

8.22. Clip Show: At the Convenience store, Castiel buys things he knows Dean likes: beef jerky, beer, a copy of Busty Asian Beauties, toilet paper. He tries to buy pie, even going as far as threatening the convenience store clerk, but of course to no avail, continuing the running gag in which Dean never gets his pie.

Now let me explain.     

8x09 takes place right after 8x08 where Cas, brainwashed by Naomi, decided to stay away from Dean. No Cas = no pie for Dean. More than that, the one who has the pie here is a villain of this episode and that refers to Naomi. Also, this episode involves Benny who basically is a part of Dean’s “family”, though never spoken and not the same as Cas for sure. Dean trusted Benny only because the vampire defended Cas in Purgatory. It was mentioned in many metas, it’s IN THE TEXT of the story. In case you doubt it, just re-watch 8x01, 8x02 and 8x05. There you can see all Dean’s and Benny’s dynamics. 

Yep, Benny saved Dean’s life in 8x01 and helped him later, but the turning point in their relationship which was as far as it possible from the friendship was the moment when Benny saved Cas’s life. Despite of all the things he said about how dangerous is to search for Cas and to walk with him through the Purgatory. 

In 8x09 Dean helps Benny as a part of his family, his brother-in-arms and friend, but he still has no pie. Truly story of his life.

The moment with the pie could also refer to Elisabeth. Martin has the pie = he has her as a hostage. Dean’s hint about the pie in their conversation sounds flirty as well, and Benny suspects something about Dean and his great-granddaughter. 

But Elisabeth was in this episode only, though the pie metaphors remain. So I suppose that pie moment has more than one interpretation, and the essential to the whole plot one refers to Cas.  

8x19 takes place right one episode after 8x17 where Cas, brainwashed by Naomi... guess what? Yep, decided to stay away from Dean. No Cas = no pie for Dean. AGAIN. 

This time it’s Kevin who stole the pie, also a part of the family. In season 9 Dean’ll call him a younger brother. Dean helps Kevin, brings him the food, they actually have the help of each other. Still, Dean doesn’t have his pie. 

After the next conversation with Kevin in this episode Naomi comes. She says “You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way”.  No chances for the pie. Yep. 

In 8x20 Charlie mentions the pie to reveal she’s read the books on Supernatural. She also mentions Cas to Dean and to Dean only. I think she understood the pie metaphor :) But also, even if she is a family to Dean and actually says him “I love you”, 100% platonically ‘cause she likes girls only, she fails to give Dean a pie. She isn’t his pie, and Cas - oh, he is still missing after 8x17 and Naomi’s words. No Cas = no pie. It’s the third time, guys. 

Finally, in 8x22 Cas returns to Dean and decides to give him the pie himself. It’s funny how desperate he is about finding the pie for Dean - because actually HE IS A PIE. 

Here Metatron comes, a villain for the next season, and make Cas forget about the pie - he provides some “greater” goals for Cas just to trick him. 

I hate Metatron more than any other character in this story. He may be the ONE I hate at all - because it’s him who makes obstacles in Destiel way through seasons 8-11. He tricked Cas at the end of 8th season and took him from Dean, he killed Dean at the end of 9th season when Cas gave up an army for Dean, he was a reason of Dean and Cas disagreement in 10th season when Dean almost killed him, he said to Cas that he is expandable in season 11, which made Cas say “yes” to Lucifer. Not to mention he stole Cas’s grace, initiated Kevin’s assassination, killed packs of angels, worsened relationship between Cas and Heaven and was arrogant enough to claim himself a new God while manipulating homeless people. He was redeemed, found God and saved Cas from Amara, but I still don’t like him. He’s just a dick - just like Chuck, even worse.  

The next season has two pie moments as far as I know, both of them refer to Cas:

9.03. I'm No Angel: Dean buys pie that Sam complains about. It does not appear that Dean gets a chance to eat the pie. Sam: Look at these chemicals. Do you even read the label? Dean: No. I read "pie." The rest is just "blah, blah, blah."

9.12. Sharp Teeth: Dean is given pie (baked by Sister Joyce and reputedly famous through the "Badger State") with lunch by a pack of werewolves. Although we don't see him eat it, Sam later says "They gave you lunch; they gave you pie".

9x03 is the episode where Cas is already a human and he is dangerous - the angels haunt him. But that’s not a big deal for Dean. He sees Cas, and the rest is just "blah, blah, blah". Though in this episode Dean has to kick Cas away. No pie again. 

9x12 is the episode with Garth, who is also like family to Dean. They mourn about Kevin together and even share a hug. Garth is a werewolf here, he has a werewolf wife, and Dean and Sam are invited to the werewolves’ family dinner. The table is served with pies, which look just terrible. The same scary pies are in the fridge, while Dean is checking it, possibly looking for the human hearts. We don’t know if Dean’s eaten some pie here, but I suppose he’s not. ‘Cause this family, especially Sister Joyce, isn’t good after all... and because it’s Garth who get a pie here, not Dean. Garth found his romantic love and get happy life with her while Dean is carrying Mark of Cain now and after Kevin’s death can’t let himself to be happy. No pie, my friends. No pie. 

Pie in the season 10 has rare appearances, we have more cake moments here, ‘cause Mark of Cain made Dean think about some new possibilities in his life for sure. 

Still, we have such moments:

10.03. Soul Survivor: In between giving demon Dean purified blood injections, Sam goes to Dean's bedroom where he spots a half eaten piece of pie.

10.22. The Prisoner: When Crowley goes to a diner looking to make a deal with the cook, he is seen eating a slice of pie.

In 10x03 Dean is freed of being demon by Sam and Cas. We saw Sam couldn’t help him alone, and we saw Dean compliments Cas’s good look, as well as how is he upset when Cas said about female in his car. Cas came just to leave - so the pie wasn’t eaten again. But we have some progress here. :)

In 10x22 Dean hasn’t a pie either. He isn’t human again, not a demon, but not himself as well. He just doesn’t need food. He doesn’t need family business, family, love, trying something new. He doesn’t need Cas anymore. This is a heartbreaking episode with Destiel fight, with Dean who is actually less human than Crowley is. Despite Crowley shows his red eyes here, he also eats a cake. He CARES about Dean, Sam, Rowena, and last but not least he cares about Cas. I think that’s what his pie represents. 

As much as I hate Metatron, I love Crowley. I’m sure that without him as an acting character Destiel would be just impossible and miss him so much in the latest seasons. He knew how to make it right. 

As I said, there are NO PIE AND CAKE MOMENTS in season 11, which was supposed to make Destiel canon. But they didn’t. So, Mary, who was originally responsible for all this pie story, showed up. And the pie metaphor returned!

12.02. Mamma Mia: Dean finally gets some pie, when Mary brings him a blueberry pie after they have had dinner. To Dean's surprise, Mary admits that she actually bought the pie instead of making it as Dean previously believed his mother would do.

12.05. The One You've Been Waiting For: Sam brings a pie home from the store for Dean, but Dean is too distracted to eat it, opting instead to get a pie later after having killed Hitler.

12.10. Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: Sam and Dean meets Ishim, who was Castiel’s superior. Dean is asking “Who wants some pie?” and by the end of conversation Ishim says “Have some pie“ to Dean while leaving money at the dinner table. 

Here I must confess that I absolutely love Mary as well. :) I think she understands Dean, I think she knows that Cas is important for him from the time she’s first met him. Also I think she appreciates all that Cas’s doing. I wrote about it here just a bit, but actually there are a lot of examples. So that’s no wonder that is Mary who manages to give Dean a pie. In the end, in 12x12 Cas’ll say “I love you” because of what’s Mary done. 

But again, the pie isn’t something that Mary made herself. She just can deliver the pie to Dean. 

The pie moment from 12x05 is about Dean’s self-worth issue. Actually, Dean could have his pie, communicate with Cas despite Cas’s working with Crowley, but Dean thought he didn’t deserve that. He needed to do something nearly impossible, to kill Hitler, for instance, to fell worthy. 

Back in the season 6, Cas’s working with Crowley was the reason of Dean and Cas’s fight, that literally almost ruined the world. So no wonder that Dean doesn’t like it. 

I wrote about Destiel and Crowley here in details, from the start till the end. Just one little piece:

Season 12 - here Cas and Crowley start to look for Lucifer together and this is a horrible piece of news to Dean. Cas left him in 12x03 to work with Crowley again! Cas and Crowley are playing FBI agents together - it was Dean’s only role-play with Cas from 5x03!

The pie moment from 12x10 is textual only but important one, as for me. It’s well-known Steve Yokey’s episode,whom I absolutely adore. Here, during Cas and Dean’s conversation with Ishim, pie is mentioned:

Dean: Well, who wants some pie?

Ishim: You know, when I knew Castiel, he was a soldier. He was a warrior. He was an angel's angel. Now look how far he's fallen. Dean: How about a little coffee with that sugar? Ishim: No wings, no home. Just a ratty old coat and a pair of poorly trained monkeys. Dean: Oh. Well, you can go to Hell. Cas: Dean, it's fine. Sam: No. No, it's not. Cas: Sam, this isn't about me. It's about Benjamin. Ishim: Now that is refreshingly accurate. But since you brought a couple of extra “people” to our little chitchat, we should go somewhere more private. I have a safe house nearby. I'll go get Mirabel. So nice to see you, old friend. Have some pie.

Dean’s words about pie are for Ishim. Ishim ‘s words about pie are for Dean only - he also gives Dean some money. Their conversation begins and ends with a pie, and clearly they both understand the meaning. That’s why Ishim answers to Dean’s “Well, who wants some pie?” with “You know, when I knew Castiel, he was a soldier“. 

‘Cause for Dean Cas = pie. And Ishim gets that. 

All their words could be translated like that:

Dean: Do you wanna my Cas? 

Ishim: He isn’t in female vessel anymore, and this matters for me. Also, I envy you two happy gays who like sweets and chick-flick moments.  Dean: Too much sugar in your coffee for the man who doesn’t like sweets. You certainly wanna him for your purposes, and I won’t let you have him. Ishim: He was much more better with me back then. Dean: You used him.  Cas: Dean, it's fine. Sam: No. No, it's not. Cas: Sam, this isn't about me. It's about Benjamin. Ishim: Oh, we’ll talk about him. In my place ‘cause I need some insurance. Your boyfriend is too aggressive. I’m interested in Mirabel, not in you, old friend, ‘cause she listens to my commands and looks pretty. And you can have your Cas, poor-trained monkey. Some charity from me here.   

I love this episode so, so much. I’ve re-watched it for 10 times at least and I’m certain about “pie=Cas” meaning for 100%. To tell the truth, this conversation between Dean and Ishim was the reason I’ve decided to write this meta. 

In season 13 we have one visual moment with pie:

13.08. The Scorpion and the Frog: When the Winchesters arrive at Smile Diner to meet with the Crossroads Demon Barthamus, Barthamus offers Dean a slice of cherry pie. After Barthamus leaves, Dean begins eating the pie, earning him a look from Sam.

Barthamus offers Dean a spell to find Jack. When Jack is back, Cas is back. Sam tells is to Dean some episodes later. Of course, Dean wants Cas back, so he took this possibility to get his pie, even if he didn’t like Barthamus. 

There was also one textual pie moment in season 13, which refers to Cas. I wrote about it here.

There are some pie moments in season 14:

14.06. Optimism: While working a case with Jack Kline, Dean order pie for both of them and gets to actually enjoy it for once without any sort of interruption aside from Jack's awkward questions about sex.

14.10. Nihilism: Cas sees through Dean’s good memories, and here Dean’s words from 2.21 are mentioned:  “Hey, see if they got any pie!“

14.11. Damaged Goods: As she goes shopping for the ingredients for Winchester Surprise, Mary promises to get pie. She returns with an apple pie, but they do not get around to eating it.

14.16. Don't Go in the Woods: Pie is apparently on Dean's shopping list for Jack Kline as he is seen examining one. Jack later tells Dean that he bought everything on the list except the beer, as Jack has no valid ID and he didn't want to use a fake one, suggesting that Jack did indeed buy the pie. It is unknown if Dean ever gets to eat it, but it's possible, since Dean had nothing to interrupt him from enjoying the pie after he got back to the Bunker except for going to the store to buy beer.

In 14x06 Dean and Jack both have Cas with them. And Jack asks Dean about sex. Hmmm. Yokey’s episode, guys!

14x10 is also Yokey’s. So, Cas=pie metaphor could be used here as well - pie moment from 2x21 changes. 

14x11 - if Dean is going to seal himself in the Mal’ak box, there will be no pie=Cas for him for sure. ‘Cause THE CLOSET, guys. 

14x16 - as long as Jack is the Dean, the pie=Cas is with him. We’ll see the opposite thing in the next few episodes.

As well as in seasons 13-14, pie moments in season 15 is far too easy to read:

15.10. The Heroes' Journey: Dean attempts to buy a copy of Delicious Pies magazine, but is denied when his credit card is declined.

15.11. The Gamblers: Dean learns that he and Sam only have enough money for two cups of coffee and a slice of pie. Dean asks for two forks for himself and Sam to share the pie, but complains about not getting to eat a cheeseburger instead. However, Dean never gets to eat his pie as the waitress notices that the Impala has a flat tire before she can bring it to him.

15x10 - no luck=no pie=no Cas. Sam mentions that they are unlucky and that Cas isn’t with them in one line here, and he is right undeniably. Also, it’s interesting that this time it’s not the pie itself that Dean is buying. It’s a magazine how to cook them! After his nearly love confession to Cas in 15x09 Dean is ready to make his happiness himself. Sadly, he is no luck this episode. 

And he isn’t buying Asian Beauties magazine! Unbelievable. 

15x11 - here Dean isn’t flirting with the waitress AT ALL. No cheeseburgers, he is to pie=Cas strictly now. He can complain, but he even can’t eat cheese for now - here Sam tells that to him. Cheese may also refer to his hunter’s life - without his luck Dean can’t be a hunter. Maybe it’s the taste of the peaceful future? ;) We’ll see. 

The word “pie” can also refer to women. But I believe that above there are enough evidences that the pie meaning here is different. 

That’s what we are calling a subtext. 

Thanks for the reading! 

_______________________

This was the last Destiel topic I’ve wanted to write about this far. Let’s see what the last 7 episodes’ll bring. :)

I’d be happy to analyze any Destiel moment with you guys so feel free to write in my ask and to comment. 

[secret-engima]

In Fem!Nox verse, what are everyone else's reactions to Nyx and Nox Bonding?

Interesting!

-Regis is relieved for the most part, because his daughter NEEDS a Bonded Guide, but before now no one had been strong enough. Also a lot of surprise because on paper Nyx Ulric seems like nothing special, save for his unusual skill with magic for a non-LC. But Nyx Ulric has never done anything to indicate he wouldn’t be trustworthy, and upon meeting the man, he feels earnest against Regis’s magic and Guide senses, feels open and surprised and determined to help and Regis is ... so very relieved. Nox has a proper Guide now, and hopefully that will cut down on her Zone-Outs by a good margin (Titus helped Ardyn quite a bit after all).

-Clarus is surprised, and a little more suspicious. Because he had been LOOKING for strong Guides to test for compatibility, why hadn’t Ulric stepped up before? Why wait until a Zone-Out and snap-bond with her without supervision? Then Nyx openly and sheepishly admits he didn’t think he was that strong of a Guide and so hadn’t volunteered and now Clarus REALLY wants to know how strong Galahdians really are. Because what.

-Cor is happy for Nox and Regis, and also not as paranoid as Clarus, because he’s worked with the Glaives a few times and Nyx Ulric has always been a decent individual. Snarky and reckless, but who is Cor to judge on that end?

-Titus is a Sigh. Of course it was Ulric. Of course it was. Of course Nyx Ulric would be the One Person able to bond with Nox and Guide her our of her Zone-Outs. Why was he surprised for even a second. He also feels a headache forming because he knows what this will mean, that Ulric will have to step down from the glaive and that will be a nightmare. Then his nightmare gets so much WORSE when Nox steps UP and insists on joining the glaive as Nyx’s bonded Battle Pair (of which the glaive has many, bonded Battle Pairs are even better than solos in a fight because they counterbalance each other). Except Nox is Ardyn’s reckless niece as well as royalty and Ulric is ... well. ULRIC. Titus feels his Doom coming for him.

-Libertus is at first Not A Happy Camper. Sure he’s sympathetic to the Second Princess who keeps getting Zone-Outs and is too strong for normal Guides, but this is NYX. His Nyx that has run off and snap-bonded with her and ... yeah no. Lib doesn’t like that. He doesn’t like that Nyx has snap-bonded with an Outsider, especially royalty, and is not surprised when word gets out that Nyx will be forced to leave the glaive to stay at Nox’s side all the time.

-He is VERY surprised to hear that Nox turns around and joins the glaive after realizing her new Guide’s distress and wonders if ... maybe this won’t be so bad. They’ve all heard the rumors that Nox and her uncle were responsible for all those destroyed bases, it would be nice to have actual royalty and their extra magic on the field with them.

-He immediately takes back this opinion and Regrets Everything when he realizes that Nox is SO MUCH WORSE than Nyx in the reckless department. His only joy now is that Nyx is being forced to be the Braincell and is Suffering in all the ways Lib has suffered for years. But his joy is ... soured a bit because Nyx is a Terrible Braincell and so Lib now has TWO idiots to handle on top of being Crowe’s Bonded (Crowe laughs at him, traitor).

-Tredd is angry when he hears Nyx snap-bonded to royalty. Like- IDIOT. IDIOT. The Outsiders already own their homes, own their jobs, own their loyalty and blades, why would you give any Outsider access to that part of your soul? Nyx is the Last Ulric, last Chieftain of a once powerful and honored Clan and now he is OWNED both body and soul by an Outsider Princess who knows nothing of their suffering or home or traditions. Nyx can never go HOME now, even if they free Galahd someday, because Nyx will be tied here, to the Citadel, to the Princess, to Outsiders. His Clan will die out with no hope of revival and all of Galahd will suffer from the loss of the Stories of the Ulric Clan.

-Then Nox joins the glaive to be Nyx’s Battle Partner and Tredd ... gets angrier actually. He still thinks Nyx is enslaved on a certain level to this princess, and yeah he’s heard the rumors but those are just RUMORS. What is this Princess gonna do the first time she gets on the front and everything is fire and death and screaming, a hundred thousand things too loud and strong for Sentinel senses unless you’re careful?

-Tredd stays angry and snide behind Nox’s back up until Nox is actually put on the war-front and goes Feral on the NIfs with Nyx at her side. Then Tredd is ... overawed and floored. Because ... this is the power of a Sentinel Lucis Caelum? She’s not faltering, not flinching, he can TELL her senses are cranked up far past what even Tredd can stand in a war zone and she’s not even stumbling from the info overload. She’s tearing everything apart, warping like a maniac with Nyx at her side, trading off with him like she was born to it. He catches a glimpse of what look like battered Chieftain Kukri’s in her hands but then they’re gone and replaced by a great sword twice her side to cleave right through a mech’s leg. Nyx and Nox are a two-person army of destruction.

-After the battle, when all the Sentinels are being calmed by their Guides, Tredd notices it takes Nyx a lot longer to settle Nox and realizes she was pushing her senses past their limits in that fight and still didn’t falter. Anger fades to simmering resentment and a grudging respect that will eventually be replaced by genuine respect the more Nox proves herself, but that’s a story for another time. for now, he thinks that ... well. At least if they had to lose the Last Ulric, they lost him to someone as powerful and Feral as Nox rather than some delicate flower that was afraid to use her gifts and fight.

-Luche is ... of similar but more muted opinion to Tredd. Anger at losing the Last Ulric (their friend) to an Outsider, surprise and suspicion when she joined the glaive, then awe at her power levels, but magical and Sentinel. Luche is more observational than Tredd though, so his resentment fades faster the more he comes to the stunning realization that Nox CARES. About all of them. She is actually monstrously protective of the other glaives and it ... doesn’t seem like a side-effect of being bonded to Nyx (though Luche’s sure that helps).

-Eventually he catches a glimpse of her many scars and hears more rumors about what Nox’s life pre-Citadel was like and realizes that she’s a refugee just like them. She just got lucky (for a certain definition of lucky) to have royal blood to send her right to the top rather than down to the slums. That and Axis slap some sense into him and proudly point out the Arra braid in her hair, so that kinda smooths over the last “an Outsider claimed our Ulric” feelings.

-Axis is Nox’s Shield at this point, for all he’s a Sentinel too. So he’s just glad that Nox has a Guide now, and that it’s Nyx. Nyx is a good man, a fellow Galahdian, a safe man. Axis has watched helpless as Nox crumbles beneath the power of her Zone-Outs enough time to not really care about anything else. Then she joins the Kingsglaive and he could STRANGLE HER. He signs up the next day so he can watch her back (and the backs of Tredd and Luche, who are ALSO IDIOTS no matter that Luche is the Braincell of their trio).

-Crowe thinks Nox is dangerous. That’s a compliment. She also thinks within minutes of watching them interact that Nox and Nyx are two of a pair. She’s heard the nasty rumors about Nyx taking “advantage” and hates them, but privately she thinks that if these two aren’t married by the time Nox is 23, Crowe will eat her favorite shoes. Because even at 15, Nox is already too mature and wise for all her reckless abandon, she and Nyx click in a way Crowe can tell could easily be something more once she’s actually of courting age. Her respect for Nox goes up a few notches when Nox joins the glaive, then up some more when she sees how easily Nyx and Nox fall into sync in training and actual battle. It’s actually a thing of beauty, no matter what Lib stresses over.

-She still teases Nyx for pulling an Ulric to find his Guide though. She is the sister of the group, she has a job to do and that is to tease the idiots.

[noddytheornithopod]

Holy shit my thoughts on Mind over Mutant got surprisingly complicated so uh here’s a massive discussion under the cut, lol.

Out of all the main post Naughty Dog games... this might be my favourite after all? It’s far from perfect, but I think I had the most satisfying experience overall.

To start, visually everything looks pretty good. Granted I’m using the PS2 version which has a few visual bugs because it was designed for Wii and X360 graphics more, but generally I like how it holds up? Shame 360 emulators aren’t a thing as of now, and I’m not buying some old console just for one game, lol. Speaking of PS2, there’s no Coco option because apparently her moves were too complex for the system, RIP.

To start... yes, fuck the backtracking. It’s perfectly reasonably why this pisses people off. For me, it’s mainly the transition between Wumpa Island and the Ratcicle Kingdom since you have to go through AND back twice, with little variation. Other paths at least have you only needing to retread once for the story or there’s a new extra path in it that unlocks. At least some of the enemies change up I guess? But honestly, I think what bugs me more is that it’s not exactly consistent in its implementation. Because for a while, yeah you’re going back and forth retreading old ground, but then you get the key for the Junkyard on Wumpa Island and you’re just teleported to the Junkyard gate. Same thing happens when you get the Uka Uka bones. And of course, there’s the teleporters to find said bones, which is kind of striking a middle ground. Basically... it’s kinda inconsistent. Tedious when it is, but when you suddenly start to get used to it, you’re given massive leaps lol.

There’s stuff from Titans that was changed that I don’t really understand why? For example, the block with Crash no longer has a dodge, and dodging is now purely responding to mutant attacks. I like the addition to help even out things between Crash and mutants, but why no dodge normally? There’s no board sliding anymore, nothing calls for it obviously so it may have been pointless but it is kinda funny. Also Crash’s glide is replaced with the spin drill, which of course has its uses, but I miss having that glide too (you could have both, maybe the drill is by holding square or even pressing triangle, IDK).

On the topic of Crash, I kinda feel like Crash’s gameplay is oddly sidelined? I think it’s because of the mutant storing. Even if there’s less combat, much of the platforming now uses the mutants, and because there’s only some sections where you have to be Crash, it means you end up being Crash rather sparingly unless you really want to stick to him. Like, mutant storing is a good idea and works with the kind of game, but compare to Titans where even if it was more combat focused, the fact you had to use Crash in more parts meant you end up playing as him more than this game, and thus it feels like he has more of a presence with his own move set.

The combat felt off at first, but I ended up realising it’s because I became used to the Titans system... to start, it’s less intense and slower paced. You’re rarely gonna be swarmed so you actually have a chance against enemies. There’s also the mutant mojo upgrades, which means your mutant actually grows stronger with each upgrade, making combat different each time.

I like how they use mojo... for the most part. I like that the mutants can now be upgraded, and Crash of course grows stronger. My one reservation is that the upgrades don’t feel that diverse? In Crash’s case it’s probably because he keeps most of his moves from Titans, but still, only strength and spin upgrades isn’t the most exciting. Same with the mutants, getting stronger and the occasional special attack boost is cool, but it’s not the most exciting. I guess I need to view it like a Ratchet and Clank situation, because that’s what this is more like... including the multiplier. Including a multiplier with your combo level to make mojo worth more helps a lot with upgrading.

Because mutant gameplay is now more diverse instead of just a few classes that do their job, it also comes across as more inconsistent? I like that there’s improvements like them being able to jump now and more attack variations eg from when you block or jump and hit attack, but I also find some of it a bit awkward. Like, many of these attack variations are cool, but the tutorials give fuck all clues to them, so it’s hard to figure everything out.

For example... seriously, it took me ages to figure out how to use the TK in combat. TK is a pretty fun mutant, but until you figure out how to shoot and combine attacks with their telekinesis, you’re gonna be stuck to slow heavy attacks and awkwardly throwing enemies around.

I also find the Rhinoroller awkward. Because of the new moveset compared to Titans, it’s on one hand less slow, but on the other, it can get pretty annoying to control.

Ratcicle feels kind of overdeveloped. They can freeze stuff AND surf on shallow water. I mean, it’s great, but it kinda makes the other mutants look less exciting, lol. But yeah, one of the best mutants in this game because they definitely thought of much.

There’s a few mutants that are fun to play as like Spike, Sludge, and Battler, but unless you go outside the main story, they don’t really feel like they have much of a presence. The introduction pacing feels off, basically.

Snipe and Stench are back as ranged mutants. Snipe suddenly gets an upgrade and is pretty fun to play. Stench I’m not so crazy about, like now their special attack isn’t ranged anymore so that kinda messes up the gameplay with them, and while the fire rate is improved from Titans, every now and then they do a reload animation which I assume was meant to add detail, but all it does is slow the gameplay down and make the rhythm of firing off.

Magmadon is around, and while they aren’t underused, I do think it’s a bit of a missed opportunity with this game’s increased platforming focus that it doesn’t have any fire/lava abilities. There’s only one place that’s too hot for other characters and thus making them necessary too. Like, imagine if you could use it to melt through ice or even metal, eg a door that must be melted down to progress. Sludge’s shrinking ability is only used like two or three times (and I think only one is mandatory), so I think there’s missed opportunities there too. The shapeshifting and extendable arms stuff could’ve made for some cool mechanics. Adding more platforming abilities for mutants might overcomplicate the game of course, but... still. Especially with Sludge, give them some more use, even for secrets and such. Speaking of secrets... Spike needing to use the special attack on that one spiky part on the way to Mt Grimly is pretty random, huh?

Scorporilla and Yuktopus serve their role as the massive powerhouses (and Scorporilla even gets a beefed up melee combo), though I must admit it’s odd Yuktopus is now demoted to a regular enemy/sub-boss class (seeing two in the minigames was surreal when I was young lol). And I mean, random changes in design and stuff is something I find odd in general. I mean, the returning mutants mostly have improved designs, but for others I’m not as sure on, eg Rhinoroller looking less rhino-y, and Sludge suddenly being a boar instead of an frog or chameleon or whatever it was in Titans. Guess some is NV mutations but whatever, lol.

On the topic of enemy design, one thing I miss from Titans is the colour and outfit variations. Maybe they had less time to do it and at least the single models they get look good, but still, it’s a shame. We do get the hero mutants, but the PS2 version fucks up their looks for some reason, lol (and for some reason their mojo upgrades separately from the standard of their species, which is weird, especially since it’s not counted in the game’s completion).

Grimlys are cool, probably my favourite mutant in the game. Kinda funny how they don’t have a block and instead a lock on function, but it makes sense given they’re meant to be used faster than other close range mutants. But yeah, time slowing is so cool it’s even back in Crash 4 with one of the new Quantum Masks. Really helps you rake up that combo count to get all that mojo too.

The minions are... interesting. They mostly do their job, but then suddenly you have Doom Monkeys and Znu that have these massive stun attacks that can get annoying if there’s a lot of them. Slap-Es can block but as long as you’re not Crash they’re as quick as any others. The Doom Monkeys are less annoying in speech too, thankfully.

I get a few audio bugs. Most annoying of which is being unable to hear enemy conversations. But sometimes I just got sound effects cut out for no reason. On the inverse... some of the mutants are very noisy and need to shut up. Aku Aku also sometimes adds commentary when unnecessary, making him feel a bit handholdy. Yes, I’m going to the damn roller village, be patient, dude.

Probably the thing to impress me most revisiting the game is actually the continuity and worldbuilding. I mean, to start, you have all the mutants becoming free and forming their own societies, only for the NVs to turn them into evil warriors again. Said societies are pretty interesting as well.

Wumpa Island is mostly the same (sans all the stranded Ratinicians gone wild lol), but then you have the Ratcicle Kingdom. A Kingdom formed mostly out of ice, and also near Cortex’s evil public school. Nothing like this was in Titans, so was there always a cold part of Wumpa Island, or did the concentration of Ratcicles allow them to make enough ice to form a cold climate and society despite this being tropical nearby? All the designers and stuff are cool, and some of the characters are quite peculiar (I love that one masochist Ratcicle lol).

Then there’s the Ice Prison and Evil School. IDK how the Ice Prison was made, but it seems like it’s Cortex’s doing since the Brat Girls run it AND Evil School (while also being students?). As one of those lore junkies that headcanons Wumpa Island is the second island from the original Crash games, this fits oddly well, because in Twinsanity Cortex suddenly has a massive floating Iceberg lab. Maybe Cortex also made the school and prison nearby, and the Ratcicles took their Wumpa Island residence and connected Cortex’s base. Yeah, I’m getting crazy with my speculation, but the game letting you fuel this is fun. Also cool how the Brat Girls leave Nina after she loses in Titans and end up as Cortex’s grunts, ironically.

The Wasteland seems new, and I assume it’s the evolution of the Lumberyard from Titans. We also have rhinoroller elders even if it’s only two years of existing lol.

The Junkyard is apparently born out of the remains of N Gin’s weapons factory (I heard somewhere the Weapons factory was apparently on N Sanity Island but IDK if that was ever confirmed, it makes more sense it was on Wumpa Island TBH but if it was imagine all that junk moved there lol, TBH Cortex Island could work for the weapons factory too, it would make things less cluttered and it’s possible there’s still unpolluted beaches but whatever). It’s a pretty cool setting, and the Doom Monkeys being in the remains of their old location but under new leadership (and somehow with rockets removed from their heads... maybe they were merely aesthetic? lol) is nice continuity. Judging from the concept art it also seems to be around that volcanic area in Titans, which makes sense given that had more machinery.

Mt Grimly is completely new. Surprisingly it’s not an evolution of the Uka tree (though there is one creepy tree place with the hero Grimly on Wumpa Island), and as a result it’s much harder to work into my 2nd island headcanon (I mean, at least that island always had a giant tree lol). Cool location, but unfortunately we don’t really learn much about its normal state compared to the other worlds, unless it’s permanently inhabited by evil dudes, lol. Also I still wonder what the heck the Znu and Grimlys are. Are the Znu supposed to be the same thing as Grimlies? Are the Grimlys NV transoformed Znu??? Who knows.

Even the changing enemies in revisiting locations relates to the story. For example, the sludges in the Junkyard will say how Slap-Es and Stenches have appeared from “the sky”. Besides random occasional appearances from different mutants in various locations, you also have the Znu and Doom Monkeys moving out of their home levels to the previous ones after you make it through said levels the first time. I’m very perplexed by the sudden increase of Battlers when you revisit evil school and the ice prison paths though... either they’re also favourites of Cortex, or the Brat Girls disappointed Cortex after he saw Crash break into school and Nina helped him and he... used NVs on them to make new Battlers. Other stuff like Snipes in the Wasteland because of the Snipe hero are clear enough, but this one is... interesting.

There are some inconsistencies that bug me though. For one, it feels like nobody acknowledges Cortex’s blog video. Aku Aku acts surprised that N Brio is back and working with Cortex, and later wonders how Brio gets dark mojo even though Cortex explicitly says he’s using Uka for that. IDK, I guess Aku Aku doesn’t like watching internet videos and expected Crash and Coco to do everything, lol (I mean, he doesn’t really acknowledge it after watching anyway). Also a bit confused on how evil school works... it’s implied the Brat Girls are the main students, especially when one NPC says it’s all girls, but the intro video includes all genders and shows non-Brat Girls so... something’s up (maybe the NPC misheard or the ad was lying and only had girls because EVIL). Also apparently there’s another evil school somewhere besides Madame Amberly’s (is it also public? how is it public, is there a government funding these evil schools? did Cortex declare some regime?).

The humour and cutscenes are mostly pretty fun and there’s many funny moments. There are a few jokes that are... questionable at best (Uka I know you’re evil, but you don’t need to be ableist), and some of it probably seems outdated, but I actually appreciate most of it. The 2D cutscenes in different styles simulating changing channels like you have an NV is cool and has some pretty fun jokes with them, though it does suck you don’t see some character models well if at all as a result. The whole satire of consumerism and the latest tech fads was a nice addition (between this and the different mutant powers and stuff, it’s almost a classic Ratchet and Clank type game), not to mention wild stuff like evil recycling (and I mean, green movements ARE co-opted soooo) and many edgy but still mostly jokes I doubt would pass today.

Bosses are fine. Cortex was fun, but Coco was too easy (plus she’s freed from NV control a bit too soon, they could’ve saved her for the Ice Prison or even Evil School or something to raise the stakes, I mean if you’re not gonna fully commit to playable Coco then you may as well go the N Tranced route). Crunch wasn’t as hard as I remember, in fact he was kinda underwhelming. If anything the Scorporilla and Yuktopus acting as sorta sub-bosses in-story were better fights than saving the bandicoots (also one of the sludges says Crunch is Crash’s brother... confirmed?). Also small nitpick but why doesn’t Coco have her evil model in the enemy profiles, even as she has her boss lines?

Music is legit one of my favourite soundtracks in the series, Marc Baril doesn’t get enough credit. He manages to have such a range and it all works so well even as it has a distinct and fitting style.

Voodoo doll collecting is more involved which is cool, and there’s also golden wumpa now serving as health upgrades because we don’t have lives anymore. Yeah, Titans and MoM did gold wumpa first, not CTR:NF and Crash 4. At this rate I wouldn’t be surprised if it showed up even earlier. Minigames are optional too which means less stress for 100% completion, though there’s also the arena minigames (oh hey, more Ratchet and Clank similarities), and they unlock enemy skins... unfortunately unlike Titans which had skins for every enemy, there’s only a few skins here (one for each world’s games), which is disappointing.

Anyway... yeah. Mind over Mutant isn’t as polished as Titans and is a bit messy and inconsistent in some places (most likely because this game has less time than Titans), and some of the backtracking is tedious, but in general I had a pretty good time with it, and was actually pleasantly surprised by some things.