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#hes the only good part of 02–
edgelord-of-the-day · 2 years
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Edgelord of the Day #73:
Ichijōji Ken as the Digimon Kaiser/Emperor
From: Digimon Adventure 02
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tojisun · 1 month
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no matter how hard you try, you just can’t make yourself cum tonight.
the position is wrong, your toy is still dead as hell so you had to resort to using your fingers, but those aren’t hitting somewhere deep and scratching that itch you have of wanting to be filled, and it has you crying in frustration.
god, you just wanted to fuck yourself into a good orgasm once. but your fingers are starting to feel numb, and your arm is cramping up, and you feel annoyingly sore already. you know you should call it quits; that you should just douse the flames of your desire with a cold shower and just retire for the night, but you are so, so stubborn and angry and—
you snarl, ripping your fingers out of your cunt before twisting to snatch your phone from where you’d flung it close to the wall. you use your clean hand, wiping the other one on your bedsheets—you might have to wash them tonight, anyway—and sends a message to johnny.
cant cum <
fuck me pls <
you drop your phone to your stomach, hearing yourself heave as your body catches up to the exhaustion. you stare up at the ceiling, trying to ignore the blazing heat and the soreness and the emptiness, and focusing instead on the little spark of need that you refuse to extinguish because you know johnny. you know he’d reply soon.
(he’s always fucked you good; filled you up with slurring words crooned to your ears, his big hands stretching across your stomach because he swears underneath all this skin and fat, he feels his cock fucking in, in, in.
he loves taunting you when your quiet tears turn into soft sobs—ye gonna cum soon, bon? show me yer cummin’ face, huh? c’mon bon.
he is so, so mean, and you need nothing less right now.)
true to your thoughts, your phone buzzes two minutes later. you pick it back up, grunting in confusion when instead of johnny’s name, you see john’s.
is he alright? did he need something from you? god, you think he’d let you do it tomorrow or at least in a couple of hours?
you tap at the notification, only to feel the curiosity bleed out of you to be replaced with startling horror. it’s like ice water was dumped on you, extinguishing every embers of your libido because there, on your screen, was john. replying to your message.
you had—
> quite forward of you. well, since you asked so nicely, we’re on our way.
you had sent the message to—
three knocks—taptap-tap—suddenly thud on your door. you gasp, looking up from your phone to stare at your locked door, dreadful.
you sent it to the damn group chat.
-
part 02
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zosanbrainrot · 3 months
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PART 4!!
01 02 03 04 05 06
I stg I'm kicking yall in the shins one last time, we're ALMOST done with the angst!
Let me tell you I had this finished(!) twice(!), but no, I had to go back and change it lmao
In my first go the fight scene was much more rough, it was hard for me to draw from the beginning, I'm not really good at this sort of thing. So I took a little break from the comic and when I got back to drawing the last two panels (static ch close ups) they turned out so GOOD and CRISP! I just had to go back and redraw the previous ones. Didn't change the composition back then, just made the drawings less sketchy and fixed minor mistakes. This panel in particular went through bigger fixes, I couldn't get the pose right:
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I emphasized the arch in Zoro's back so it's more clear he's hunched over, the head is lower, and the hand on his stomach wasn't looking good, so I switched its direction and I feel it looks more natural now. The whole pose is shifted to the side now, whereas in the previous ones it was more straight up, but I wasn't conveying perspective well.
So after that I had it all exported, loaded into drafts and as I scroll it on my phone I'm like... There should be one more panel where Zoro's getting kicked : | Imma need to change it AGAIN.......
It just didn't flow well. I work on the comic in chunks so I haven't put these panels together before, I always saw them side by side in my main file.
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I just didn't like how you go from Zoro getting kicked to him being thrown, it just felt disjointed to me.
So first I looked through the three sole volumes of BNHA that I have at home to maybe understand drawing fight scenes just a little bit better. That's how I got to the new version of Zoro getting kicked so there's more lines showing movement etc. but most importantly you have the kick and Zoro's reaction separate. So now Zoro's face has a bigger closeup, you can see his open eye.
In the previous version it was more distant, the closeup wasn't as big and you couldn't see his expression well. With just the side view you could only see he's in pain but nothing more than that,whereas when you have a full view of his face you can get much more from that. You see where he's looking, you know he's looking at Sanji when he kicks him in the guts.
I guess that's why, in the first version, I was trying to still show his face where he's being thrown off of Sanji bcs I felt the side profile wasn't doing it's job, but at the same time it felt off, like there was less force in the kick bcs his head wasn't following the movement idk. Also he was def too big in the frame. So now Zoro's smaller to emphasize the perspective more, the head is down, the right arm is more to the side and there's more lines, the flame is more aggressive now and bursts into the sides when it comes in contact with Zoro's body to show the impact. I know they could be better still, but this is the best I can do right now and I'm happy with the result!! I'm glad I kept pushing it! These poses were VERY confusing to draw lol
Alsooo, it would make more sense if Sanji threw Zoro in the other direction, over his head like in karate/judo, but I wanted to keep my directions consistent. I had to have Sanji standing back to the carriage, so he doesn't notice the spear being thrown and Zoro facing the carriage so he can get hit from the front, right after he gets up. It's like..... did he not see it? Did he get hit on purpose? You decide lmao
Though I'm probably too rigid with my 'camera', in BNHA you see the action from any and every direction, i guess it adds to the dynamism of it all, also there's just many MANY more panels in manga lmao
Judge giving me major "isn't there somebody you forgot to ask" vibes at the end there lmao I hope you forgot he's even there and this comes as a surprise!
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chuluoyi · 5 months
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࿐ ࿔ 🕰️ 「 02:33 P.M 」
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based on this video. this idea has been rotting in my brain for some while :') dad gojo will always have a soft spot in my heart <3
a part of gojo's love entries
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your baby’s first trip to aquarium was such a cute affair you were sure you wouldn’t forget anytime soon.
“waaa~” your baby’s eyes were gleaming with wonder as he gazed at the diverse array of colorful fishes above him, completely captivated by the view.
and your husband...
“aren’t they pretty, hmm?” satoru asked his adorable son with a grin, pecking his cheek and holding him snugly in the baby carrier against his chest, with a backpack of baby essentials strapped on his back.
he was the very vision of a domestic dad, and along with your son, who was dressed in a bear onesie, complete with two little ears, they made a really irresistible pair. even you couldn’t fault the crowd for staring at them.
“fwaa! waa~” your munchkin was squirming with joy, his tiny fingers stretching out towards the sight before him. satoru giggled, moving closer to the glass to give his baby a better view.
“look! that’s clownfish! and those wiggly flowers are anemone! and that is—”
he faltered at a fish passing in his view before deciding, “this— i don’t know, but it’s the clownfish’s friend!”
they are basically the same. your little boy and your husband, both of them clearly shared a brain cell as they happily pointed out different fishes.
“meh! hehe!” your baby babbled away, excited and incredibly happy in his father’s hold, and satoru too seemed to feel the same, as his eyes beyond that sunglasses crinkled.
“damn, my kid is so cute.”
suddenly he dived down and pretended to chew his pumpkin’s chubby cheeks, effectively making him squeal in glee.
and oh lord, the way your heart skipped a beat seeing that. it was so clear how much satoru adored your baby, and it made overwhelming warmth rush to your chest.
“he’s a good man,” an elderly lady beside you suddenly remarked, making you turn to her. “not many men do that for their kids.”
“he is…” you agreed with a shy smile.
“it’s a shame that you only have one baby,” the elderly man beside her—possibly her husband—added. “you’re still young and he is so good with them too.”
your heart swelled and would’ve already burst if it was possible. bashfully, you thanked the elderly pair as they went on their way.
and along the way, you received similar hushed comments and adoring looks—
“oh my! their baby is so cute!”
“how can such family exists?! the dad, mom, baby… all three of them are so good-looking!”
“such a hot dilf! can’t he divorce his wife and marry me instead? i’ll be his kid’s stepmother gladly!”
satoru pretended not to hear, but he clearly held back his laugh. you threw the school girl who carelessly blurted that a pointed look, making her scurry away.
and after the three of you were done walking around the aquarium, you stopped by the gift shop to get your baby his first fish pet.
your son suddenly became fussy, and satoru unclasped him from the carrier. “hmm? do you want mama?” he handed him over to you. “here, here~ mama wants to hold you too~”
as soon as your son was settled in your embrace, he giggled, and you couldn’t help but bounce him and coo. “do you have fun? you do, don’t you?”
it might not visible to others, but now satoru was staring at both of his reasons of being with literal stars in his eyes.
several years ago, he thought his life had stopped when his best friend negated his beliefs entirely, but you were there, holding his hand throughout it all. and then you married him— and then, you gave him a son to dote on.
you keep giving his life a new meaning. and he was thankful for that.
. . . meanwhile, you kept hearing whispers from a gaggle of girls in the next aisle, about how much of a dreamboat your husband in his blue shirt was and it was grating at your nerves so much that you pursed your lips into a total pout.
satoru thought you were the cutest, not even second to his baby, and he decided he wasn’t known for public decency anyway so he dived in and pecked your lips—dispelling any stray thoughts and making you flush in an instant.
“sato—!”
and before you could rebuke him, he whispered in your ear:
“so... baby number two, when?”
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WHAT IF I CANT HAVE US?
katsuki bakugou x reader
texts katsuki struggled to send you.
part 1/3
different than what i usually write, but i thought i’d try it out
inspired by down bad
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11:06 pm
kats: hey, idiot
kats: i’m sorry
11:10 pm
kats: i messed up
kats: happy?
11:18 pm
kats: ok im sorry again
kats: i just got jealous when i heard you went out with icyhot, thats all
kats: i know im the one that broke up with you
kats: but that doesn’t mean i was okay with seeing you go out with some other guy
kats: i know thats fucking stupid you don’t need to tell me
12:01 am
kats: i know you’re still mad at me
kats: i shouldn’t have freaked out like that when i saw ur instagram story
kats: shitty hair’s making me type most of this shit btw
12:53 am
kats: ok we’re alone he went to bed
kats: i can see ur online
kats: do you still have me saved with ur dumbass nickname
kats: i kinda hope you do
1:02 am
kats: i regret not texting you more often
kats: im sorry i was so dry
kats: but you’re the only person i’d ever text back
kats: i actually liked hearing from you
kats: im sorry
1:17 am
kats: i broke up with us bc i wasn’t treating you right and i went home everyday feeling like a shitty boyfriend. you deserved better
kats: i did it for ur own good, idiot
kats: especially after what i did to you
kats: i can’t ever make that up
kats: the guilt was killing me
kats: and after that i knew you deserved more
kats: but i miss you
kats: and im sorry i didn’t tell you the truth
kats: i take back everything i said
2:00 am
kats: are you asleep?
kats: whatever you’ll read this in the morning
kats: you left your moisturizer here
kats: i wish i could call you. i fucking miss your voice. im sorry
2:49 am
kats: you know ur the only person i want
kats: theres literally no one else
kats: and idk what i’ll do if i can’t have us
kats: i was an idiot to let you go
kats: im sorry about freaking out about that half and half bastard but im so much better for you
kats: i make you laugh
kats: i bet you were faking it with him
kats: even if you weren’t. lie to me
kats: i miss you
3:33 am
kats: you’re the prettiest person i have ever seen
kats: did i tell you that enough?
kats: well i’ll tell you now
kats: even if you slam the door in my face i’ll still tell you ur beautiful idc
kats: you’re so pretty it makes me angry
kats: i saw a photo of you in my gallery
kats: my mom says she misses you
3:51 am
kats: is ur apartment cold
kats: im sorry i never fixed your heater
kats: i should’ve made the time
kats: but i liked when you came to me for warmth
kats: maybe i didn’t fix it on purpose
kats: if you don’t take me back i’ll still fix it
kats: i love you like that
4:04 am
katsuki (do not answer) : have i told you that enough? that i love you?
katsuki (do not answer): im sorry
katsuki (do not answer): for not telling you i love you enough
katsuki (do not answer): for not telling you how god damn pretty you are
katsuki (do not answer): for not buying you flowers
katsuki (do not answer): for not treating you how i should have
katsuki (do not answer): i know i messed up
katsuki (do not answer): but i wanna make it right
katsuki (do not answer): you’re my whole fucking world
katsuki (do not answer): and i do love you
katsuki (do not answer): so open the door, im outside
part two soon! 🪽
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2hightocare · 4 months
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DOWN BAD! 03
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Synopsis: Despite undeniable chemistry, your guys’ relationship remains undefined, caught between playful teasing to deeper, unspoken longing.
Pairings: bad boy! jungkook x fem! reader
Genres: college au. slowburn!
Warnings: drugs. mention of abuse, abusive household, fighting, screaming, crying, reader is down bad.. unprotected sex, reader is a virgin, making out, throwing up, fluff if you kinda squint, love confession, angst, banter between them both, cussing, Jungkook sucks at showing his feelings, complicated relationship, flashbacks.
a/n: hi.. sorry this took longer to put out but finals week is here— but here🥳 i recommend reading the first parts before this for it to make more sense k bye bye🤍
01 02 playlist board
The aching feeling in your chest didn’t disappear; it only increased the more you cried. Your palm clawed your chest, soothing over your clothes as if it would help lessen the pain. Your heart felt like it was getting repeatedly run over by a train. Each time you would gasp for air, another heartbreaking sob came flowing out of your mouth. It was crazy how down bad you are over this boy.
Seeing the person you love the most lose themselves to drugs was the most heart-wrenching pain you have ever experienced. The worst thing was you were losing yourself over him.
“I want a big house, with all that white picket fence shit,” you say, your hands playing with his hair as he melts into your touch.
“Not happening, baby,” he chuckles, his hand on your waist squeezing. “And I want a ring the size of my fist,” you ignore him, extending a hand out, imagining how a ring would look on your ring finger. “We’re not getting married or getting a house,” he rasps out, a hint of amusement displayed on his face matching yours.
“I think we should get a dog as well, don’t you think?” You continue, making him throw his head back with a laugh. “There would be no dog, and house, baby. Because I will be in jail after trying to rob a bank to pay for your big-ass ring,” Jungkook states, tilting his head to the side to drop a kiss on your cheek, the gesture sending your heartbeat skyrocketing in your chest.
“So you do want to get married!?” You jest happily, tugging on his hair playfully, making him let out a low groan before shaking his head, laughing. His laugh was one of your favorite sounds in the world.
The memory was like a punch into your gut, over and over again without stopping. Him leaving you on the floor of your room crying keeps replaying in your mind. The thought of him actually leaving never crossed your mind until now. He always comes back, you thought to yourself as you pick yourself up from the ground. Your knees weaken as another cry rakes through your body as you drop onto your bed face down.
As much as you wanted to run after him, you knew better not to. Your self-respect was hanging by a thread, and you were scared of what you would do if you see him at this very moment. The thought of you on your knees begging him to change burned in your mind.
You knew love shouldn’t be this hard, but that didn’t stop your mind from trying to convince you otherwise. Memories of him started circulating around your head, sending a strong shot of pain to spread through your body. You try your best to control your sobs, but it is almost useless as sixteen-year-old Jungkook appears in your mind.
“Hi,” you quip, skipping towards him.
“Hi,” he says, the edge of his mouth lifting into a smirk. “Finally, I see you again. You aren't in my homeroom.” You pout, noticing how his eyes go from your eyes to your lips to your body. “That's good, no? I wouldn't want to be a distraction.” He flirts almost nonchalantly, which sends a swarm of butterflies to flap around your stomach. You bite your lip before crossing your legs.
“Do you always flirt with every woman that comes up to you?” You tilt your head to the side, letting your hair fall beautifully over your shoulders, making Jungkook admire.
“Nah, only with cute girls I met on the first day of school in the front office after she got in a fight with someone for ripping holes in her tights,” Jungkook shrugs. You smile as you look him up and down. His hair is messy but not so messy that it looked like he got in a fight. His uniform fitted his body perfectly, making you jealous that girls got to look at him. His tie was tied neatly around his neck—but your mind was playing tricks with you as you imagined him using his tie in other ways that weren't exactly appropriate, but that's what reading Wattpad did to a girl.
“Is that so?” you chuckle as you watch him nod.
“What's your type?” he asks, catching you off guard. Your hands play with the hem of your skirt. “Dimples, brown eyes...” You tap your chin as you playfully look up as if you were thinking. “I like them tall as well. How tall are you?” you ask him, pointing at him, waiting for his reply. “Five ten,” he replies casually, amusement clear in his eyes.
“Yeah, I like them five ten.”
You felt as if you had a ball stuck in your throat. The more you tried to calm down, another batch of fresh tears pooled down your eyes. Your eyes were bloodshot, tears mixed with your mascara leaving streaks of black all over your cheeks. Before you knew it, you fell asleep with a broken heart.
Jungkook's hand shakes as he lights up the cigarette between his lips, his body craving the drugs. Instead of running to his dealer's house, he imagines your distraught face. He takes a large puff from the stick, letting it fill his lungs, but it's not enough. His tattooed hand tugs on his hair-body shaking, which he would like to think is from the cold, trying to ignore the fact he's going through withdrawals.
He didn't dare go home; he couldn't face his mom. He knew he would lose his mind if he saw another bruise decorating her skin. Another chill ran down his spine as he exhaled. His muscles ached, and sweat started to form on his forehead. The feeling of wanting to throw up was almost unbearable. Before he knew it, he was puking over a bush. He couldn't catch his breath before another roar of vomit came rushing out of him.
"It's fine," Jungkook repeated under his breath. Before he knew it, his feet moved towards the only person who could help him.
"You look like shit, buddy," Yoongi chuckles. "The regular?" He raised an eyebrow, and Jungkook nodded eagerly, his hands shaking as he watched Yoongi pull out a small bag of white circular pills-oxycodone.
"Here." Yoongi shoved the bag into Jungkook's hand, harshly taking the dollar bills from him and counting them.
"Thanks," Jungkook nodded, his feet moving to the door before stopping abruptly.
"That pretty girl that's always running behind you, that's your girl?" Yoongi says, licking a piece of paper with his tongue before rolling it up into a perfect small joint. Jungkook's body stiffened; he didn't like the fact that Yoongi knew who you were and that he mentioned you as pretty sent a chill down his body.
"Nah, she's just someone I know from school," Jungkook says, his voice stoical, showing zero emotion as he lies through his teeth. "Why?" Jungkook added a couple of seconds later. A small smirk appeared on Yoongi's face.
"She came looking for me," Yoongi starts, placing the rolled-up paper between his lips while his other hand uses a lighter to light it up. He blows a couple of times before he takes a hit, letting it fill his airways.
"She told me she'd give me a shit ton of money if I stop selling to you." Yoongi chuckles the words out, making Jungkook's throat close up and his lungs stop working.
"She also told me to go 'fuck myself," Yoongi mocks you in a high-pitched voice before bursting into laughter. "She's fucking bad, though. She had this tiny ass skirt-and her tits, man-" Yoongi whistles lowly.
Before Jungkook knew it, he was striding towards Yoongi, yanking the joint out of his mouth and throwing it somewhere around the room. Jungkook's hands gripped both sides of Yoongi's shirt, pulling him upwards from the couch.
"Don't. Fucking. Talk. About. Her," Jungkook seethes, his jaw clenched as Yoongi lets out a surprised gasp.
"Don't even fucking look at her." Jungkook shakes Yoongi. "The fuck is wrong with you?" Yoongi pushes Jungkook off. The smirk he always had plastered on his face is long gone, replaced by a shocked expression.
"Listen here, whatever the fuck I got to do with you has nothing to do with her. I don't give a single fuck if she came up to you. Next time you ever see her, don't even glance her way, don't even breathe near her. Because I promise you l will fucking kill you. I'm not scared of jail." Jungkook growls before pushing Yoongi back onto the couch.
Before he could reply, Jungkook strode for the door and slammed it shut.
Jungkook's heart rapidly beats in his chest. The adrenaline and anger fueling his body has him cursing under his breath. As much as Jungkook wanted to punch Yoongi straight in the jaw, he knew things wouldn't end well. So instead, he walked straight to the house where he knew was the last place he should go.
It was almost five in the morning when a small sound woke you from your sleep. Your head pounded, and your body and heart felt numb. You rubbed your eyes tiredly, blinking fast as you caught a shadow outside your window. Immediately, you shot up from your bed.
Your heart started again as you rushed to open the window. With a small gasp, you pulled the boy inside your room.
“You’re here! Are you okay?” You took hold of his face, checking him frantically. “Look at me.” You grabbed his face and made him look at you. His eyes bored into yours—the small glittering light in his eyes sparkled for a second before being replaced with empty eyes, almost angry.
“I’m not high,” he groaned, removing your hand from his face. You let them fall beside you with a small, weathery breath.
“That’s good.” You sniffed, but he stepped back when you reached for him, as if your touch was poison. He felt distant and gone, like he wasn’t really in front of you. “You met Yoongi,” he said, his tone cold, lacking the warmth he always used when talking to you.
“I did,” you nodded, your eyes welling up with tears threatening to spill at any moment. “He told me what you did.” His voice was almost nonchalant, which sent a shiver down your body. He was slipping through your fingers like water, no matter how hard you tried to hold on.
“You went to him?” you said, your hands forming into fists beside you as you pressed your nails into your palms, possibly leaving red marks.
“None of your business,” he replied. “I don’t know what sort of shit you tried to pull, but never fucking do it again,” Jungkook bluntly stated.
“You always say it’s not my fucking business, but it fucking is.” You gritted your teeth, anger bubbling in your stomach.
“How the fuck would that be any of your business? From what I recall, we are nothing.” He scoffed, his heart cracking in his chest as the words left his mouth, watching your face fall before recovering.
“Why the fuck are you here, then? It is my fucking business,” You said, tone deadly.
“It is my fucking business because I fucking care about you, Jungkook! You might not notice it, but I love you. I’m so tired of acting like I don’t when all I want is you. I just want you. You.” You cried almost erratically, Jungkook's mouth opening before closing.
“I love you,” you sobbed, tears streaming down your face just like the raindrops on your closed window. “I know you do too; if not, you wouldn’t be here.” A shaky breath left you as you wiped your eyes with a sniffle.
Jungkook’s heart suddenly felt lighter, but the pain in his body didn’t go away. When your words left your mouth, his heart stopped, and the thoughts he came to tell you about were long forgotten. He looked at your puffy, smudged mascara eyes and your pouty lips that begged to be kissed, making the thoughts in his head vanish into thin air.
“You don’t mean that,” Jungkook finally said, and you could almost hear the faint sound of your heart cracking at his words.
Before you could reply, Jungkook dropped onto his knees, shaking. It was pathetic how fast you dropped beside him, getting a hold of his body. “I’m going to die, fuck.” Jungkook shook in your arms, closing his eyes with a loud curse. “Fuck, fuck,” Jungkook growled. You frantically touched him; his body was burning up as he shook in your arms.
“What’s going on?” you cried, coaxing him. Small reassuring ‘you're going to be okay’ left your mouth repeatedly as you held him tight to your chest while he shook and whimpered in pain. “Fuck, need this to go away,” Jungkook shook as he reached for his pocket and pulled out a small bag of pills. His hands shook as he tried to open the bag, fumbling.
“Baby, help me. I need this to go away.” Jungkook cried, tears rushing down his face as he struggled to open the bag.
A heart-wrenching sob escaped past your mouth as you noticed the position you were in. It was like a scene in a film. Jungkook shook his head repeatedly as you took the bag out of his hands and placed it behind you, somewhere he couldn’t reach. “Help me,” Jungkook pleaded, his calloused hands tight on your waist as he shut his eyes in agonizing pain.
“I’m so sorry,” you cried, your fingers wiping his tears.
“Make it go away,” Jungkook cried, the most vulnerable you had ever seen him as he begged you to give him the drugs. It was like you were stuck in a love triangle with him and his last drug of choice.
Jungkook looked at you, his face desperate. “Make it go away,” he pleaded. And that’s exactly what you did, just not in the way Jungkook was thinking. Your lips smashed into his, making his eyes widen before fluttering closed, melting into you.
His tense shoulders immediately relaxed, dropping as the furrowed crease between his forehead softened.
As your lips molded with his perfectly, Jungkook felt his walls start to drop, brick by brick. Your hands held his face tightly, each kiss feeling like a battleground where you both fought with your mouths instead of words. The taste of bitterness mingled with the intoxicating sweetness of longing-a drug that left Jungkook craving more as you tore apart to catch your breath.
Heat surged through your veins, a fiery storm of conflicting emotions raging within. Each touch sent shivers down your spine, igniting a hunger you couldn't deny, even as anger simmered beneath the surface. Before you could say anything, Jungkook grabbed the back of your neck, pulling you closer.
Your body melted against his, a wave of warmth flooding your senses as his lips met yours again.
It was a moment you had dreamed of, yearned for with every fiber of your being, and now it was here, surpassing all of your wildest expectations. Time seemed to stand still, allowing you to savor every precious second of it.
"Use me," you moaned between the kisses as you gasped for air.
"Forget about everything and just focus on me." You gasped as his lips shut you up once again.
His hands caged your face as his lips molded against yours. Tongues danced together, exploring each other with an unspoken hunger, lost in the intoxicating rhythm of the kiss.
"Fuck, I should've kissed you sooner," Jungkook groaned, his hand sliding gently into your hair. He tugged it back, exposing your neck to his hungry gaze.
A shiver of anticipation raced down your spine as his lips found a new place to explore.
His head dipped to your neck, peppering kisses all over. A soft moan left your lips as he sucked on your sweet spot, leaving a red-purple mark on your collarbone. "So pretty," he said before capturing your lips with his again.
As your lips molded together, a surge of clarity washed over him, drowning out the incessant whispers of addiction that had haunted his mind for so long. With each kiss, the cravings faded into oblivion, replaced by a singular focus- you.
"We shouldn't be doing this," Jungkook groaned as your lips made contact with his neck. The sucking sensation of your lips had him throwing his head back with a heavy sigh. His hands tightened on your waist before pulling you up from the floor onto his lap. "I don't care," you breathed out, pulling him in closer to you. A loud groan ripped out of Jungkook as you sucked on the nape of his neck.
"Baby, I don't wanna take advantage of you," Jungkook said between kisses as you held his face to kiss him roughly. A sudden wave of heat rushed down to your center as Jungkook tried to pull back, only for his bulge to rub against you.
"Use me," you moaned, your arms pulling him into you.
His head rested over your chest, listening to your heartbeat. A shiver ran down his spine at your words.
"Baby, please," he pleaded, his eyes shut from the pleasure of your hips rubbing against him at a slow, almost agonizing pace. All he could think of was you.
"Look at me," you said, your hands holding his face to make him look at you. The once dull, empty eyes he came in with were now long gone, replaced with a sad, almost yearning look. His pupils were dilated as he looked at your face.
"I want you. I want all of you," you started. He nodded, his face the most vulnerable you had ever seen on him, which created a warm, fuzzy feeling in your stomach.
"And I want you to use me," you confessed, your voice trembling with honesty.
As your lips lingered against his, you breathed out the words, your voice a gentle plea, "Let me be the one you turn to when the cravings hit, the one who reminds you of all the reasons to stay, because every time you choose me over drugs, you're choosing yourself. You're choosing us."
Jungkook fumbled with his bottom lip, biting it as he felt his heart slowly start to mend itself. He was sure when he left your room earlier that day that you would never want to talk to him again. But here you were, not giving up on him, instead believing in him. Jungkook's lip trembled before a tear fell down his cheek.
"I love you," he whispers, his voice cracking. The words hang in the air, the complete opposite of how your heart is feeling. Before you can reply, he's pulling on your shirt and smashing his lips onto yours.
The kiss was desperate, filled with unspoken words and emotions. His hands roamed your back, pulling you closer as if he couldn't bear to have any distance between you. His hands clutch at you as if you're his lifeline, grounding him in this moment.
Your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. Jungkook's tears mix with your own as the intensity of the moment overwhelms you both.
Your lips part for a breath, and in the brief pause, you see the raw emotion in his eyes. It's a look of longing, of need, of a love that's been buried beneath layers of pain and addiction. Without another word, you capture his lips again, pouring all your love and hope into the kiss.
Jungkook's walls crumbled completely as he let himself be vulnerable, feeling your warmth and acceptance enveloping him. The kiss deepened, both of you losing yourselves in the moment, letting the world outside fade away.
Finally, you broke apart, both gasping for breath, foreheads resting against each other. Jungkook's eyes were no longer empty but filled with a mixture of love, determination, and a glimmer of hope. You cupped his face, your thumbs gently wiping away his tears.
"We'll get through this together," you whispered, your voice filled with unwavering conviction. "One step at a time."
Jungkook nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. "I promise I'll try," he said softly, his voice laced with sincerity.
You smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. "That's all I ask." Before capturing his lips with yours once again.
You moan into the kiss, and your hands move to his hair, pulling, messing, and tugging. His hands drop to your bare thighs beside him, caging him in. A small whimper makes past the kiss when he dips his finger onto the waistband of your black small shorts you wear underneath your school skirt.
The feeling was foreign, but it felt right. When his fingers dipped into your panties a loud moan was coming out of you. "Shh, baby, your parents will hear you.” Jungkook whispers. “Not here; gone for the weekend.” You pant as you feel his middle finger dip between your delicate folds, spreading your wetness over your clit.
You never had anyone touch you this way; the only thing that has ever come close to your center were your fingers, but as he enters one of his digits, it makes you realize your fingers were nothing compared to this. “Ah-fuck,” you moan, your head falling onto his shoulders.
“So fucking tight, holy shit.” Jungkook exclaims as he adds another finger to your soaking cunt. Your back arches as he pumps his two fingers in and out of your hole, and your hips roll on his lap, trying to relieve your clit. You let out a whine when he pulled them out, but it was quickly replaced with a loud, heavy sigh of relief when three fingers pressed hard on your clit, rubbing circles.
“That feels so good; don't stop.” You cry into his ear; your pussy pulsates on his fingers. The pleasure from his fingers on your pussy has you digging your nails into his arms. “Do you like being fingered?” Jungkook asks as he inserts three fingers, stretching you out. “Yes, fuck yes.” you moan heavily. Your walls clench around Jungkook's fingers anytime he curls them into your g-spot, sending waves of shock to unravel in your abdomen. The squelching sound of your pussy mixes with your loud moans, making Jungkook's dick harden underneath you.
“My bed,” you pant, your eyes shut close as he continues to rummage his fingers into you. Jungkook gives a hum and nod of acknowledgement before pulling his fingers out of you, picking you both up in a quick, swift motion before dropping you on the bed with a squeal.
Jungkook lets out a small, breathy laugh, and his fingers fumble on the button and zipper of his jeans. Your breath gets caught up in your throat when he drops his pants on the ground, revealing the outline of his cock in his boxers. Your eye of vision suddenly went up to his chest when he took his shirt off in a split second, giving you a sight of small scars and bruises on his ribs, sending a punch to your stomach.
Your heart squeezed in your chest when he suddenly realized what you were staring at. You quickly made your way to the end of your bed, pulling him closer. Your lips dropped to the side of his rib cage, leaving a little chaste kiss on one of his bruises. A shaky breath leaves Jungkook as he watches you kiss every single purple, reddish mark and scar on his body.
Jungkook puts a finger under your chin before tilting it up, and your teary eyes make contact with his. 
“Hi.” He whispers softly.
“Hi.” You whisper back, a small smile plastered on Jungkook's face, before his lips make contact with yours. His hands this time worked on pulling down your shorts, which ended up taking your light pink-drenched panties down as well. Heat flowed through your body even though it was freezing in your house. You both broke apart from the kiss when Jungkook pulled on your shirt, pulling it over your head. 
The white shirt gets added to your guy's discarded clothes on the floor, and your hands wrap around his neck before pulling him down with you onto the bed. “M’gon squish you to death.” Jungkook groans as he lifts his weight on you, “What a heavenly way to die.” You joke, cracking a small smile at Jungkook.
You couldn’t even think of anything else because, before you knew it, Jungkook was in between your legs, sucking on your folds. The feeling was unfamiliar, but it felt so good. Your legs squeezed both sides of his face, caging him. His tongue worked magic on you, flicking his tongue all over your pussy. Your hands tangled with his messy raven hair, pulling harshly whenever he would suck on your clit for a little too long.
Your chest heaves as you try so hard to catch your breath. Jungkook moves his head from side to side erratically, earning a pornographic sound from you. Your walls clenched on Jungkook's fingers as he pumped them rapidly. “I’m g-gonna cum,” you cry out, your back arching as he hums onto your center, sending vibrations all over your body.
Your mind is fogged up with invisible smoke, and your lungs burn as you hold onto your breath. Your teeth bite roughly on your bottom lip to contain the moans that are threatening to spill out of you. Before you could say another word, white dots blurred your vision. "Your body squirms into Jungkook's face, coming in a loud moan.
“Hurts, ah” You cry, and a low chuckle rumbles against you as he begins leaving between your legs, but not before dropping a kiss on your inner thigh. Your thighs are pressed together, and your legs are sore as your center aches for more. “Felt good?” Jungkook kisses your cheek, and you nod with a whiney hum as his hand wanders behind you, unclasping your white cotton bra and untangling it from your arms before throwing it somewhere on the floor. Jungkook didn't waste any time putting his mouth on one of your nipples. His warm tongue plays with your bud, sucking, toying, and licking. Your head rolls back as your hands behind his head push him into you more.
“You're so good at this; should I be worried?” You moan as he grinds his hard-clothed length into you. “Don't think about that, baby.” He replies that a sad tone in his voice makes your heart feel as if it were being stabbed. “Oh.” You let out a sigh, and Jungkook planted a kiss on your collarbone. 
“I'm a virgin,” you say, tilting your head to the side to catch a look at Jungkook's face. His brows furrowed slightly before he dropped another kiss on your neck. “I’m not.” Jungkook says, planting a chaste kiss on your cheek. “What a slut.” You joke, playfully rolling your eyes, earning a laugh out of him. “You're annoying.” Jungkook laughs, his head dropping down beside the crook of your neck.
“But you love me.” You pip, moving your body underneath him, making him chuckle.
 “But I love you.” Jungkook looks up, a small smile displayed on his lips. “If I were having sex with someone I care about and love,” He whispers, “This would be my first time as well.” Jungkook finishes, making your heartbeat skyrocket. You feel as if you were on the moon, flying around with the stars.
“Pinky promise.” You smile, you raise your pinky finger up in front of his face, and you watch how he tangles his pinky with yours before smashing his lips with yours. “Pinky promise.” He whispers back into your lips. 
Kissing Jungkook was everything and more than you had ever wished for; his soft, cracked lips molded against yours, fitting like perfect puzzle pieces. “Fuck me, please.” You whine, and your hips rise up, trying to rub yourself against him, which has him pushing your hips down into the mattress with his tattooed hand. “Be patient, baby,” he whispers into your ear.
“Please,” you cry. Your hand slides between you both, palming him over his boxers and making him groan. “Please, fuck me.” you beg this time. Your palm squeezes his cock, making him thrust into you. 
Jungkook didn't reply; instead, he pulled down the last remaining clothing item that was covering him. He opened your legs, a shaky breath left your lip, and your eyes took him. His hair disheveled in a brown mess, his lips puffy and red, and the most mischievous grin on his face had your stomach fluttering with fireworks and roller coasters.
“Nervous?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow as he settles between your legs; his length rubs against your cunt. “It's big,” you bite your lip, as you look between you both. Jungkook bites his lip as he moves closer, placing his cock on you, his tip reaching your belly button. “It’ll fit, if that's what you're wondering.” Jungkook lets out a small snicker, and his thumb runs against your bottom lip.
“It's going to hurt, right?” You ask, your voice low and filled with lust, has heat rushing to Jungkook's cock. "Yes, baby, you’ll probably bleed a bit. But I promise it'll feel so good.” He comforts you; kisses are peppered all over your face, easing your nervousness. “Does this mean we are basically doing blood oaths?” You joke, your heart fluttering  when he lets out a deep, throaty laugh.
Jungkook opens your legs, his eyes drop to your glistening pussy, and your juices spill onto your pink sheets. His hand wraps around his cock, tugging roughly before slapping it on your pussy, making you let out a choked moan. "Ah,” you moan.
“Fuck.” Jungkook curses, "Baby, I don't have a condom,” he remembers. 
“I'm on the pill.” You rush out and say, “I got on them for my periods.” You explain which Jungkook nods. “You sure? We don't have to right now, baby,” Jungkook says, only to be received with a disapproving head nod from you. “No, I want you right now.” You say, your hand wrapping around his cock, giving it a small pump. 
You moan when you place his cock in front of your entrance, and with a small, reassuring smile, Jungkook is pushing his cock into you. “Ah, oh, my god.” You moan, and pain shoots up through your body as he pushes his length into you inch by inch, giving you time to get accustomed. “I know I'm sorry, baby.” Jungkook coos, dropping kisses all over your face as you feel his cock go in deeper. 
“So full.” You moan when his cock is fully in. Your fingertips dig into his back, leaving crescent moons. “Hurts?” He asks, his thumb rubbing your clit trying to help ease the pain. “A little.” You reply before giving him the green light to move. 
Jungkook's movements started slow, pulling his cock out of you and leaving his tip in before pushing in again at the slowest pace. Jungkook's eyes squeezed shut at the intense pleasure his body was feeling. Making him forget everything outside of this moment. You clench around him whenever he hits your g-spot.
The pain turns into pleasure as jungkook plunges into you at a faster pace. Your headboard hits your wall over and over, matching his thrusts. “Taking me so fucking good, fuck.” Jungkook groans, your moans mixing with the sound of the squelching of your juices.
Your mind is hazy, your bodies are hot. As beads of sweat start to form on Jungkook's forehead, a moan flushes out of you when he pushes one of your legs backwards, picking up his pace.
Your eyes roll to the back of your head when he hits the spot in you repeatedly. Drool starts dripping down the sides of your mouth, and your hands find your sheets tugging hard, turning your knuckles white.
“So good.” You cry out; his thrusts are harder, knocking the air out of your lungs, making you gasp for air each time he slams into you. Jungkook's cock twitches in you as he presses slightly on your belly, making a bulge of his cock appear inside of you.
“I’m going to cum,” you moan. “Not yet, baby, not yet.” Jungkook groans, pulling out. He flips you onto your stomach, presses your legs together before slipping into your pussy again with a loud groan.
"Shit, so fucking tight.” Jungkook moans, His hands squeeze your ass as he fucks you from behind. Your moans and screams get muffled by how you bite into your pillow. The position had him being able to go deeper, and tears started streaming down your cheeks. 
“I’m going to cum.” You scream into your pillow, as he grunts with each thrust he fucks into you. “Come baby.” He groans, giving your waist a squeeze of reassurance. He didn’t have to tell you twice, your orgasm all over his cock. Your body shakes, and you clench hard around him. His eyes roll to the back of his head as he spills into you.
Your bodies heave heavily, as he fucks you both through your orgasm. Soft moans and whines leave your lips as he pulls out of you, and the white fluid drips out of your hole, making Jungkook groan in satisfaction.
“Are you okay, baby?” Jungkook asks, his tone sweet and gentle as he flips you over to your back, catching a glimpse of your red cheeks and teary eye expression. “I think I just had an out-of-body experience.” You chuckle. Jungkook's eyes look over your body, looking for any bruises, but are met with none, which makes him sigh in relief.
“Yeah?” Jungkook wiggles his eyebrows, dropping a kiss on your lips before getting up from your bed and making his way to your vanity. He opens a couple of your drawers before picking up the package of wet wipes and making his way back to you.
“We need to change your sheets, baby.” Jungkook comments as he takes notice of the blood stain on them. He pulls one of the wipes out of the package, wiping you clean in a delicate manner. When he finished cleaning you up, he followed along with cleaning himself before disposing the wipes in your trash can beside your bed. 
He also quickly changes your sheets before jumping into bed with you. His head lies on your chest. Hearing your steady heartbeat, your fingers work on his back muscles as he relaxes further into you. The sound of rain outside pebbles against your window.
As you both lay intertwined, your breaths slowly returning to normal, Jungkook felt an overwhelming sense of peace wash over him. The familiar gnawing urge for drugs was conspicuously absent, replaced entirely by thoughts of you. Your touch, your warmth, and your love.
And for the second time in his life, the voices finally stopped as he fell asleep to the sound of your breathing.
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The Window (6 of 7)
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Ch 01 // Ch 02 // Ch 03 // Ch 04 // Ch 05 // Ch 06 // Ch 07
AO3 Link
TW: lactation kink
The house is lonely without your boys, especially when your breasts are so full and achy. If only there was someone home to help you…
You settled into the house almost too quickly. You each had your own space, but the main bedroom was where you all spent most of your time. The bedroom was huge — one of the reasons John had picked this house — and the en suite bathroom could more than accommodate all five of you, if need be. But, when the boys were away, the sprawling, expansive house was… lonely. 
They tried to leave you in shifts, but it wasn’t like they were logging hours at a normal job; it was war. War didn’t have a schedule. So, you padded around the house, trying to play some music or keep the television on, but it wasn’t the same. It was just you and… who? 
You’d asked the doctor not to tell you the sex of your baby at your ultrasound appointment, and none of the potential fathers had been around to go with you. So, you were in the dark. You’d thought about names, and Johnny had offered a good many family names to keep you busy for a while. But, even though you had plenty to think about and plenty to do – you were still working remote on recon and data tracking – it was just an empty sort of existence. 
To make matters worse, you’d hit a bit of a snare. Right at the sixteen week mark, you’d started leaking more than just a little milk. You’d woken up to a wet, messy situation, and you quickly scheduled an appointment. The doctor had taken some time to assure you all was well, but then, not even a week later, you had swollen, painful blockages and you were back in his office, waiting for more news. 
“Looks like you just have tiny ducts,” he shrugged, looking at your scans. His hands were dry but chilly as he peeked under your hospital robe to examine your sore nipples, “You may need to express them. I know it may put you at risk of an early labor, but we can monitor you in the meantime. Try to only pump when absolutely necessary.”
So, you’d followed his orders. Once every few days, you pumped out the heavy, engorged globes that used to be B-cups, watching as your nipples filled jar after jar. There was no use in freezing it this early, so down the drain it went. 
Now, at week twenty something, you were a walking milk nightmare. You’d never done so many loads of laundry in your life. The embarrassing thing about it though was that you liked it. Just the thought of attaching the plastic suction cup onto your breast was enough to make you slick between your legs, and the act itself was frequently pleasurable enough to send you over a climactic edge. To say that your nipples were sensitive was an understatement. But still, you tried to only do it when need be. You didn’t want to make a mistake. 
When the boys came home, you filled them in on all the updates. Johnny was a little sad he’d missed the ultrasound, but it just added fuel to his fire of picking out names. He seemed even more interested in the pain-relieving, pleasure-inducing qualities of your breast pump, though. At dinner, you caught him staring down your shirt more than once when you tried to speak with him, and when you lay together on the couch, his hand was always massaging your swollen flesh, all under the guise of keeping you from getting another painful duct. 
But, you knew the truth. His cock had never been so hard as when you started to leak through your top and had to go change, rushing to wash and find your nipple pads. Johnny stalked you into the large bedroom, thumb crooked in the waistband of his pants, 
“You alright, bonnie? Need me to help you?”
“No, yeah. I’m okay. Just… dealing with the dairy farm over here,” you said, exasperated. 
He sat down next to you on the edge of the bed, watching you pull out the tubes and machine with all of its parts and cords. His hand fell to your thigh, squeezing you gently,
“Think I could do it instead?”
“You…” You turned to face him, hands still tangled in the pump, making sure you heard him correctly, “You want to try it?”
Johnny adjusted himself in his jeans, his eyes pinned to your cleavage, unable to look away even for decorum’s sake, 
“Aye, lass. More than anythin’.”
“Um, sure. I think it’s fine. It all gets thrown out anyway. I’ll get you a towel,” you moved to get up, your belly now at a round enough size to be a hindrance, but he stopped you, pulling you back down roughly. 
“Hey —” You protested, but he interrupted you.
“Sit down,” his voice was gravelly and heavily accented, almost like when he was drunk, “Let me…” 
“Johnny, wait,” you tried to twist away from his grip, but he was too strong, “It’ll be such a mess. They’re so full right now. Just wait for me to—”
His eyes shot up to yours, pinning you in place, his full lips set in a hungry snarl, 
“I dinnae need a towel, bonnie. I’m gonna taste you, messy or not.”
He let his vow sink in, and you could feel yourself melting, literally and figuratively, at his words. You didn’t fight him as he began to kiss you, smearing his mouth all over you, doing his best to shove down your tank top, stuffing the neckline under your tits, fumbling around the back to unhook the clasp of your bra. 
“Johnny,” you breathed, your voice giving away the wet rush that was flooding straight to your core, “The laundry…”
“Fuck the laundry. I need to drain you fuckin’ dry. Right now.”  
Your whole body responded to that comment. Your skin flushed hot and your sore nipples hardened, eager to experience the way his mouth would feel as he drank from you. You weren’t even sure if he’d know how to draw out your milk. 
All of your concerns were cast aside as he settled you in his lap, pulling off your clothes like a much-desired present, tossing your clothes aside like wrapping paper to get to the good part. He fumbled with his jeans, freeing his thick, curved cock from his pants, pumping it roughly to spread his precome over the heavy head. 
You helped him, angling your body over his dick and lowering yourself down onto him, as carefully as you could, spearing your pussy with his rod, inch by trembling inch, listening to him try to catch his breath. Once you reached the middle, at the deepest part of his curve, you struggled to fit him the rest of the way in, grinding forward and back, looking for that sweet spot. 
Then, impatient and hungry, he finished the job, pulling you down by your hips and forcing himself the rest of the way. It made you cry out from the shock of it. It wasn’t necessarily painful, but his roughness was a stark change from how he had been treating you. When he knew about the baby, he spent a lot of time preparing you, using his mouth to lap at your pussy and prying you apart with his fingers. Always gentle and mindful of your comfort. But, not now. Now, he had his sights set on devouring you in the literal sense of the word.
“Johnny…” You gasped, rocking against his shape tentatively.
“C’mere, lass,” he whispered hoarsely, his voice sharp and commanding. 
His eyes were fixated on your dark, round nipples, and as you rode him, grinding yourself down onto his lap, he latched onto your left breast, taking the meat of your peak all the way into his mouth. Then, he began to suck. 
You thought it would be gentle and sensual, expecting it to be largely for his pleasure and not effective enough to get the thick, creamy milk out of your poor swollen ducts, but you were wrong. Johnny began to suck and swallow, suck and swallow, suck and swallow; a terrifying, rhythmic feeding, drinking from you like his life depended on it. You peered down at him as he delivered this unknown pleasure to you. 
Johnny’s eyes were fluttering closed, the whites of them rolling back into his head, and he began to let out these long, deep, guttural moans. You could feel the relief in your breast the moment he began, and with each suck, you could tell that his mouth was filling with squirt after squirt of warm, sweet milk. 
Your hips humped against him involuntarily at this point, too horny to think straight, and you realized that your right nipple had begun to let down, full as it was. You tried to catch it from dripping onto him, swiping away the white rivulets with your palm, but he caught you, realizing you were trying to take what was his. 
He moved his mouth from your left nipple to your right, letting his score drip down his chin and neck, caring nothing for the mess. Then, he latched onto your right nipple just as he had the left, sucking and swallowing until his cock throbbed inside of you. 
You cradled his head as he drank from you, using his neck and shoulders to keep you steady as you rode him, feeling him suckle against you over and over, your hot milk filling his belly. 
“Havin’ fun without us, Johnny?” Price’s voice rumbled from the doorway, startling you. You tried to turn around, but Johnny had you in a vice grip, and all you could do was ride and whimper from his fucking and his feeding. 
“John…” You moaned, and he stepped around to sit next to his sergeant on the bed, smiling at the two of you, admiring the mess you were making. 
“Can I try, love?” Price asked, leaning forward to drink from you without waiting for your permission. 
All you could do was moan, high and helpless, your pussy so wet that it was practically gushing over Johnny’s thick cock. As soon as you felt John’s mouth on you, suckling from you just as intently as Soap’s, you started to come. You felt yourself clenching around your hungry lover, flooding him with your orgasm, wrecked by their insistent mouths.
“Tha’s it, bonnie,” Johnny pulled away, white streams of cream falling from his lips, looking like he was drunk, “Come for me.”
Price was greedier than Soap, even though you weren’t sure how that could be possible, and he used his strong hand to knead and squeeze your tits, forcing your body to drop even more milk for him to drink. His mustache tickled your sensitive flesh, and you couldn’t see it but you could hear the twisting, slapping wetness of him jerking his fat cock as he drank from you. 
“Fuck, she tastes so good, hm?” Prince crooned. 
“Hngh, Johnny… I can’t…” You whined, feeling yourself start to become overstimulated, “I can’t…”
“You can, lass. And you fuckin’ will,” Johnny grabbed your face in his hand, squishing your cheeks, forcing you to kiss him. You could taste your own milk on his tongue. It was warm and a little sugary, like the dregs of a bowl of cereal, thick and creamy. 
He released your jaw and went back to work, suckling from you with a relentless vacuum, making your head spin. You didn’t know how you were able to make so much milk, but it seemed endless. You were hypnotized by the way his throat bulged as he swallowed gulp after gulp of your body’s gift, sucking you down. 
Price seemed just as hungry, and you saw how, from the corners of his mouth, tiny droplets of milk would escape and wet his beard, the white cream staining his dark hair. He teased you with his hand, leaving his cock to fend for itself as he smeared his precome all over your asshole. Then, as you rode Soap back and forth, thrusting against him with abandon, John put his finger against your puckered hole and let you push yourself onto it. As you canted your hips back, your hole would let your captain’s huge fingertip slide inside it. As you thrust forward, you would pull away, losing the feeling of fullness that he was giving you. 
It was agony. You wanted him to fuck you on his hand, or to take you with his cock — as painful as it may be without prep — anything to make you feel filled up. But he didn’t; he kept his finger right where he wanted it, letting you fuck yourself with just the tip until you felt stinging tears in the corners of your eyes. 
“Please, John… please…” You barely had any words left, but he knew what you wanted. 
He met your eyes with his own as he took a particularly long suck from your sore breast, making you watch as he coaxed your nectar into his mouth. Then, he pulled away with a swift pop, licking across your swollen nipple to soothe the pain he had caused. He smiled at you, patronizingly, teasing you still with his finger,
“Does our girl need me to fuck her tight little arse?”
You nodded, barely able to keep your eyes open, overwhelmed by the pleasure, 
“Yes, please… I need it. Need to come again. Please…”
“Fuck, bonnie. If you come again, you’ll take me with you,” Soap murmured, unwilling to take his mouth away from your tits too far, talking with his mouth half-full.
Price bent his head, returning to his rough suckling, filling his cheeks with more of your milk. But, this time, as you thrust yourself against Johnny, you felt two, curled fingers shove themselves deep inside of your asshole. Your whole body convulsed, your pussy clenching and gushing with wetness, twisting its muscles around Soap’s dick, trying to get him to fill you with his load. Your legs shuddered, unable to keep from shaking as you rode him, feeling numb as the tantalizing sensation of your stretched holes washed over you. 
John fucked you without mercy, pulling his fingers all the way out and stuffing them all the way back into your ass everytime you thrust forward and back. You were screaming, and your poor, well-used cunt was pumping itself against Soap’s rod, making heinous slick noises as you rode him. Beyond any sort of politeness or gentility, your men were noisy in their feasting as well, slurping and sucking loudly, grunting every time you clenched yourself around them. 
When Price added a third finger, you came again, your pussy quickly running out of room to accommodate them both. Soap’s hot seed burst inside of you just as he’d promised, burning your core and painting your walls with his come. 
“Oh, fuck! Johnny, fill me up. Fill me…” You slurred, letting your head hang back limply, basking in the feeling of his orgasm. 
Price took the opportunity to haul you off of Johnny’s lap and onto his own, replacing the emptiness in your pussy with his fat cock, sliding through his sergeant’s come and keeping his fingers in your ass as you rode him. 
Even though he was spent, Johnny didn’t let up on his feeding. He’d ripped a page out of Price’s playbook and was massaging your breast with both hands, squeezing out every last drop from your body. When he finally stopped suckling from your bruised nipple, he licked you, over and over, running the warm flat of his tongue across your nipple to swipe up any stray drops, chasing your peaks as you bounced on your captain’s dick. 
Price squeezed your tits in his hands, letting the one that was still full squirt all over his mouth and nose, covering himself in your cream. When he noticed Soap’s desperation, he switched positions. The sergeant fell onto his back, resting against the mattress, and the captain threw you on all fours, letting your tits dangle over Johnny’s open mouth. Then, he climbed up behind you, feeding himself back into your pussy. 
As Price fucked himself into you, your breasts swayed back and forth, your nipples rubbing across Soap’s mouth as he moved from one to the other. You felt him latch onto the left one, drinking from you in thirsty slurping gulps, his puckered lips pressing onto your flesh with as much suction as he could muster. Meanwhile, your stretched cunt was being stuffed with Price’s shaft, his head invading your deepest parts, filling up your hole over and over and over. 
Finally, when you were out of milk and practically sobbing from the brain-breaking orgasms you’d been given, he pulled out, flipping you onto your back and laying you right beside Soap, aiming his load at your bruised tits. His teeth were clenched as he grunted out his climax, painting long, white ropes of come all over your nipples. 
You looked down, unable to tell what was his and what was yours, your breasts messy and covered in cream of all kinds. John’s hands came down and rubbed his spend all over your nipples, smearing it around them like a salve. Johnny leaned over you, licking up Price’s come just as greedily as he had your milk, latching and suckling from you over and over, even if you were empty, like a greedy puppy. 
Exhausted, and with a belly full of breast milk, Price crashed to the mattress beside you and Soap. 
Standing in the doorway, Gaz and Ghost looked down at you with smug, satisfied expressions, and Garrick chuckled, 
“Better recover quick, babes. Got me workin’ up an appetite.”
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lumiambrose · 2 months
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Soft launch and hard launch with Rin Itoshi?
part two
rin itoshi only cares about football. everyone knows that. so who the hell is she?
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the match was intense of course, rin gave it is all, putting in blood sweat and tears for the victory he’s spent his entire life dreaming of. the final whistle blows as the crowd erupted into cheers. he did it. finally. rin stood in the middle of the pitch, collecting himself while he comes down from his adrenaline-filled high, sweat dripping from his brow with only one thing in mind. his eyes scan the stands searching for a familiar face, the only face he wanted to see. there she was, face in awe as she cheered for him, his lucky charm, his ride or die. he felt a rare warmth in his chest, a moment of softness amidst the chaos of victory.
after the game, rin made his way through the crowded stadium in his makeshift disguise, his mind focused on finding you. it didn’t take long as he spotted you sitting on the bleachers, wearing his jersey, a proud smile on your face. he approached you, giving you a soft hug from behind while the noise of the crowd fades into the background.
"you made it," he said, his voice softer than usual.
you looked up at him, eyes shining with pride. "of course i did, i wouldn’t miss it for the world. you were amazing out there, rin."
he sat down beside you on the vacant seat, the adrenaline from the match still coursing through his veins. "it was all you sweetheart."
they sat in comfortable silence for a while, watching the stadium slowly empty out. rin's mind wandered to the post-match routines he was usually so diligent about, but tonight felt different. all that mattered was savouring this precious moment with you
the night that followed was nothing but bliss. the two of you eventually packed up and went home together in his car, where he surprised you with a beautiful bouquet of roses he prepared for after the match.
arriving at your shared apartment, the rest of the night went faster than either of you expected. from the glass of wine you two shared together to slow dancing in the living room and plenty of intimate moments, you two ended the night sweetly in each other's arms.
the warm glow of the sun woke you up. you were covered in your silky bed sheets as you checked the clock, 8:37. while you felt lonely without your boyfriend's presence on the mattress next to you, you figured he was simply on his morning run.
you lazily helped yourself out of bed and made your way to the kitchen, wanting to cook your partner a nice breakfast to celebrate his victory. although, to your surprise, you were greeted by that very partner preparing a stack of pancakes with freshly cut fruit.
you approached rin, who was in nothing but grey sweatpants, and gave him a soft kiss on the shoulder. “good morning baby.”
he leaned into your touch giving you a quick peck back as he continued the pancakes, ushering you to sit down while he cooked.
your phone has been buzzing quite a bit since you woke up. finally deciding to entertain whoever may be messaging you, you unlock your phone to find a plethora of messages from your friends. opening your chat with your best friend, you’re left with nothing but curiosity. “Y/N” 8:01
“CHECK INSTAGRAM ASAP” 8:01
“HE FINALLY DID IT” 8:02
after sending them a quick reply, you finally decide to see what all the chaos is about. and god, you we’re fucking shocked. 
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itoshirin my lucky charm
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honestly. you just sat there for a while, processing what happened. so after your brain starts to function again, you decide to interrogate the man in question.
“rinnie, what’s this?” you call him over with curiosity in your voice.
“hm?” he cocks a brow as he sets the breakfast aside and makes his way over to you.
you show him the upload and you see a slight smile on his lips. he says nothing as he simply leans in to take you into a deep kiss. albeit slightly taken aback, you lean into his lips, letting his actions speak louder than words.
after you pull back, you let out a soft laugh, “looks like you broke the internet, rinnie.” you joked as he sat you down on the couch for his home cooked breakfast.
the day then was spent scrolling through social media, reading everyone's theories about who rin itoshi’s mystery woman might be. some thought you were a childhood friend, others speculated you were a secret girlfriend from his hometown. the comments ranged from supportive to downright ridiculous. some even simping over you.
"do you regret it?" you asked. half jokingly referring to the more down bad comments.
he shook his head, his expression serious. "not at all. you’re mine and i wouldn’t want it any other way."
slightly surprised from the affectionate words leaving your strikers mouth, you leant against him and stroked his head, teasing him for his boldness. "you know, i never expected you to take initiative. look at you go"
he reciprocated your action with an arm around you, pulling you into his chest to hide the tips of his ears blushing a soft pink. "neither did i. but now that it is, i don't mind. as long as you're with me, i don't care what the world thinks."
you continued scrolling through the comments, finding amusement in the wild theories people came up with. despite the chaos, there was a sense of contentment between them. rin had always been focused on soccer, but in that moment, he realised that there was more to life than just that game.
"you really are my lucky charm," he said softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
you smiled, feeling a warmth spread through your body. "and you’re my everything, rin."
an: i did not sleep last night for this and i don’t regret it. i didn’t proofread it so i’m so sorry for any mistakes but oh well 🫠
hard launch too orrr???
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c0llisiion · 2 months
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NEED TO KNOW.02 — J.JK
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Pairing: jeon jungkook + f!reader
Genre: smut
★: npr, slight angst, dadsbsf!jk x reader, older!jk, slight degradation, mentions of cheating, praise, dumbification, unprotected sex (practice safe sex plzzz), cunnilingus, slight bondage? Idk lol , rough sex, crying, breeding — lmk if i missed any!
W/C: 3,175
A/N: HIIIII ITS FINALLY HERE YALL WTFFFFFFF 😭😭😭😭 i defo spent too much time on this ( soz i have been very busy ) THIS ONES FOR ALL THE POOKS THAT HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR PART 2 <33 NJOYYY
.01 <3
☆⋆。𖦹°‧★ This is strictly fiction. Any scenario or situation should not be taken seriously. Please refrain from reading if the topics make you uncomfortable. ☆⋆。𖦹°‧★
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The tension was there. A very thick tension. You stared daggers at the man sitting in front of you. He was being nonchalant. Giggling and laughing with your dad and acting like nothing had happened between you two. 
Things were going well between you guys since ‘that’ day. You told him about your undying feelings for him, and he understood it. He had you wrapped around his arms as you rested your head on his shoulders and sat together in the warm bath water with Your back pressed against his chest. Even though the moment lasted for a short while, you still savored it. His warm breath was on your face, whispering sweet nothings that had made your cheeks flush. His soft heartbeat matched yours. He was so gentle with the aftercare. Had you propped up on the bathroom counter while he ran a warm washcloth down your sticky body, making sure to be gentle. He even washed you down with your favorite body wash. Hands gently ran water down your sweaty hair, making sure you were clean and ready before he left, and since then you have been dating him. Or so you would think. 
It was a huge decision. This could affect both of your lives negatively if things go wrong. Of course, you didn’t tell your father about it. Imagine the betrayal he would feel if he found out his daughter was sleeping around with his best friend under his roof. In no way, shape, or form could he know. For the time being, He would eventually come to know, right? 
Jungkook was always the ‘nonchalant’ type. He was very laid-back about you. There was not really a label to your relationship. He would treat you like his girlfriend, yes, but he would never outright tell you that you were his girlfriend. He would always go to clubs and other posh places where women younger than you would hit on him continuously. Who wouldn't, though? A rich, young-looking old man is the perfect eye candy for gold diggers. You of course voiced out your frustrations to him, but he again and again brushed it off, saying, ‘It’s nothing to worry about’ , ‘I only have my eyes on you, doll.’ Or the worst one so far: ‘We are not even that serious.’ It hurt a lot, but you brushed it off because you loved this man and, most definitely, the sex he gave you. 
He was passionate in bed. Unlike anyone you have ever slept with. He would be gentle and slow with you most of the time. His girthy length slowly went in and out of you as your eyes tried to stay fixated on the movie. Hands on your hips, squeezing the soft flesh as he whispered in your ears in a sultry voice. “Taking me in so well doll… your pussy is sucking me in so good, has me controlling myself..” he darkly chuckles before adding. “Dripping all over my couch cushions… who is going to clean this up huh? making a sweet little mess.. dw i will help you with it baby…gonna have you staining this entire couch …” you shuddered as he trailed wet kisses up your neck and nibbled on your ears. His other hand squeezed and tugged on your tender breasts. Toying with your puffy nipples in between his fingers. You let out a soft huff as his cock hit your sweet spot. “What’s wrong, doll? Too much..? I thought my little slut liked it when i went deep..” he chuckled before thrusting into you with some force, making your stomach tumble and turn. 
  It was getting infuriating at this point. Your fork dug into the piece of filet mignon with great force, your hands shaking at the tension as your mind raced off to all those memories you made with him. And it all went down the drain because of a stupid mistake he made. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? You haven’t talked much this evening..” All the laughter and banter had died down, and the attention was on you. You were brought back to earth when your dad spoke up. But someone HAD to chime in. “Yeah y/n… What’s wrong with you? You didn’t even greet me at the front door… Don't you know how rude that is?” Jungkook yammered. His eyes had a glint of mischievousness. He had his stupid smirk on, and he talked to you in a tone he definitely knew you didn’t appreciate. You glared at him with pure anger burning in your eyes. Out of rage, you pushed your chair and got up before stomping your way upstairs to your room. Jungkook watched as you walked upstairs. That stupid smirk widening.
You were walking as fast as you could down the huge hallway. You just needed to lock yourself in your room, cry, and sleep. Your thoughts were interrupted when a rough hand grabbed you by the nape of your neck. His calloused fingers press the sides of your neck in a tight grip. Before you could protest and push him away, he- “Don't even think about moving or opening that fucking mouth.. Don't make me do something I will regret..” He whispered in your ears with gritted teeth. His hot breath and words fanned the lobes of your ears, sending a pulse to your core. 
Jungkook pushed you into your room, making you stumble and fall to the ground. He quickly locked your bedroom door before turning around to face you. He grabbed you by your throat, making you stand up on your feet before speaking up. “What is wrong with you, huh? Can't you just act normal? Why do you have to put up a fit?” “You tell me!” You spat. Jungkook huffed angrily and rolled his eyes at your response. He let go of your neck before pushing you down on your bed. “Are you acting like this because of that incident? Why are you still hung up on it? Move on. Nothing happened between us.” Your eyes widened at his words. How dare he say that after what he did? “Move on?? MOVE ON?!” You bursted. “HEY! Quite down. Don’t raise your voice at me.” Jungkook quickly put you in place, making you roll your own eyes. “I can't believe you right now.. You outright went out and cheated on me and you are asking me to move on? What are you on jungkook??? You are supposed to be my boyfriend. You told me you wanted to date me. Marry me and for me to HAVE YOUR KIDS,” Jungkook sighed, lowered his head, and softly muttered, “i know what i told… in that moment…” Your face drained of all color. You stared at him in disappointment, as you knew what was going to be his next words. “What do you want from me!!!” You got up and screamed in Jungkook's face before walking towards your door. “Wait-“ Jungkook yanked you by your wrist, pulling you away from the door.
“Let go of me, you moron!” You tried freeing yourself from his grip, but he was quick to throw you back on your bed. He got closer and climbed on top of the bed, his legs on either side of yours. Jungkook had a sour expression as he started unbuckling his belt. “Don't fucking touc-“ a harsh slap landed on your right cheek before he grabbed you by your jaw and smashed his lips onto yours. It was a struggle for dominance. You were reluctant to let him in, but he pushed through and started kissing you sloppy and hard. Your protests were muffled by his hungry mouth. Muscular tongue swirled around you, tasting you. You eventually gave in. Eyes fluttering, and your hands reached to hold his face but was pinned down almost immediately by Jungkook's strong ones. He pulled back, and a string of saliva connected your lips. He gazes down at your fucked-out face with a dark glint. “So pathetic..” he said before cupping his hand over your clothed cunt. You gasp as you feel his palm push into your sopping hole. Dampening the thin fabric. He landed a harsh slap on your clit, making you buck your hips for more. “So eager and needy aren’t you?” He teased you before shoving his fingers down your throat, making you suck and swirl your tongue around his digits. "Yeah, thats right… just like that…” he hissed. He nudged his knee into your pussy, pressing harder against the heat. Your eyes rolled back, and your thighs quivered as he continued.
He pulled his digits out of your mouth, a thick layer of saliva coating the slender fingers, before he shoved all three into your little cunny. Your eyes shot out wide, and your mouth fell open as he curled his fingers into you. “Dont make any noise… don’t want Daddy to hear you cry like a bitch because of me, right?” You covered your mouth with your free hand and nodded. Jungkook smirked and increased his pace. His fingers went in and out of your pussy at an inhumane rate, occasionally pressing down hard on your poor clit making you whine and whimper. He loved watching you writhe and suffer under his mercy. Something about you becoming putty under him, and he is only using his fingers. Your pussy gave out quickly as clear liquid gushed out and coated his digits. “Coming so quickly, doll? I thought you hated me?” He darkly chuckled before pulling out and slapping your cunt once again. You winced and moaned.
Jungkook started removing his clothes, using his loose tie to keep your mouth shut. He ripped your panties off and pushed your dress to your ribs. He stood at the foot of the bed and pulled you towards him before attacking your sensitive pussy. You grabbed his hair and mewled loudly as his tongue started working on your pussy. You were still sensitive from the aftermath of your previous orgasm. Your eyes spilled tears and you tried pushing his head away. Jungkook landed a harsh slap on your ass making you stop your movements. His tongue lapped at your pussy. Plunging into your sensitive hole and sucking your nub. He pressed his face closer into your pussy as your thighs clenched around his head. He held you down with his strong hands, and you were completely at his mercy. Your moans were slightly muffled by the makeshift gag. You grabbed his hair tighter, making him groan against your pussy, The vibrations sent jolts of pleasure to your core. His tongue swirled at your core. His nose was buried in your clit and his chin glistened with your juices, running down his neck. Your legs quivered and shook as he ate you out like a starved man. He pushed your thighs up, pinning them to your chest. A guttural moan escaped your lips as he pushed his fingers inside your soaking wet pussy, his lips sucking and biting down on your poor clit. “Mmm.. you taste so fuckin’ good, doll…” His fingers went in and out, curling and twisting, making you arch your back against his touch. You were seeing stars, and  was suddenly pulled back to earth as he moved away. He looked down at your disheveled state, a devilish smirk was plastered on his face as he watched your eyes fill up with tears. “Pathetic little toy…”
He climbed onto the bed, his knees on either side of you. His lips and neck glistened with your arousal making you shiver, his hair all over the place from your tugging and pulling. Your eyes landed on his hips as you watched him fumble with his pants, swiftly pulling out his aching cock. His cock stood hard and tall; you could see the precum leaking from the tip, and you couldn’t help but moan at the sigh- Your eyes almost popped out of your skull as Jungkook plunged into your pussy with no warning. His thick girth stretched you out perfectly. He groaned as he watched your pussy accustom to his size, even though he had fucked you multiple times. “So tight… mmf- so fucking tight…”. He started moving; slow thrusts quickly turned into fast, harsh ones. You grabbed onto his biceps for stability, digging your nails into his arms as he mercilessly fucked into your cunny. Your eyes were fixated on his face as you watched his face contort in pleasure and greed. He loved watching the little bulge that formed in your abdomen whenever he took you to pound town. “God.. you see that doll? Do you feel me in your little tummy? You’re so tiny… takin’ me in so fuckin’ well…” You glanced down at your abdomen and moaned, your shaky hand reaching down to feel the mound. Jungkook's hand found yours, and he pressed down on it, sending jolts of pleasure after pleasure down to your core. His thrusts never seemed to stop as he continued drilling your pussy. Your thighs and his pelvis coated in a milky layer of your arousal. You writhed and squirmed under his build, his cock hitting all your right spots.
Jungkook grabbed your arms and pinned them to your sides, making sure you didn't move. “Watch it doll… you better stay still and act like a good fucking girl for me.. or else im gonna stop all of this and leave you right here… all needy and bothered, got it?” You cried at his command and nodded, not wanting to disobey him. “Will you behave from now onwards?” He asks, landing a slap on your face before grabbing your chin. You nodded, looking up into his eyes with your tear-filled ones. Jungkook smirked at your submission. He couldn’t help but find it extremely arousing. “Yeah? Gonna act like a good -thrust- girl f’me? You’re a good girl for -thrust- daddy right?” He said, in between harsh thrusts, your body was jerking upwards at each one of them. Your body arched off the bed, and you nodded incoherently. Babbles and random words left your lips as Jungkook pounded into you. He leaned forward and trapped you under his body. His lips found your neck, leaving dark hickeys and bites all over. “You’re mine. Baby. All mine. And nothings going to change that.” You cried out and wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, pulling him closer to your body.
Jungkook chuckled before going rougher on you. Your thighs shook inhumanely, and your nails dug into his back, leaving scratches and bruises. “Pussy was made for me… you feel so good.. so so good…” His mouth continued its relentless assault on your neck, marking you with as many hickeys as he could. Jungkook growled as he felt your pussy clench around his length, signaling that you were close. He lets out a low, rough moan against your neck as he keeps moving against you, his body responding to you and your body in all the right ways. He detaches from your neck for a moment and takes a handful of your hair in his hand, tipping your head back so that you’re looking up at him. “You close baby?” You nod incoherently, your only focus being coming around his dick. He slowly lifts himself up and throws one of your legs over his shoulder, gripping your waist as he helps you reach your climax. His fingers found your throbbing clit, before tugging and pinching the poor nub. You gripped the sheets and threw your head back as the pleasure got more intense. The makeshift gag coated in a thick layer of your saliva. You were a babbling mess. Your brain was mush, and the only thing that is getting registered in your mind is Jungkooks dick going in and out of your cunt. Jungkook found all of this hot and sexy. He loved watching you become putty under him. He loved how you were basically under his mercy. “Look at you… such a mess… and how were you acting minutes ago…? Shouting and -thrust- yelling…” he chuckled darkly. “You probably don’t even know what im saying right now… Cus you’re so cockdrunk and dumb to think of anything else but my dick…”
You screamed out a bit too loudly and buck your hips before squirting all over the sheets and jungkook. A stream of clear liquid gushed out of your pussy. His thrusts and words sending you to another dimension. He grins as he feels you release again, the sound of your cry and the feel of your body shuddering and trembling beneath him sending waves of pleasure through him. He keeps his fingers moving against you for a few moments, trying to prolong your pleasure for as long as possible before withdrawing them slowly. He continued fucking into you, trying to reach his own orgasm. He kisses you deeply and hungrily, his tongue exploring your mouth as his body continues to press down against you.
You were too out of it. Your eyes fluttered as you came down from your high. You weakly looked at him. His forehead was coated in a thin layer of sweat that ran down his body. You pulled him closer to your body and let him fuck into you. “Gosh baby… you’re so good f’me…” you whined and nodded, another knot starting to build up in your stomach. “Im gonna fill you up so well doll… gonna have you leaking my cum… would you like that? You want me to fill you up?” He asked, looking at you, and just smirked because he knew you were too out of it to reply.
He moves his hands down to your hips, grabbing them and flipping you over onto your stomach. His body quickly moves over yours once more, pinning you down on to the bed. He presses his body against yours from behind, his cock grinding into you in a slow, harsh rhythm, his chest pressed against your back, his lips close to your ear as he speaks. “You’re mine, do you understand that? I’m never gonna let you go…” with a few more thrusts, jungkook presses down and fills you up with his hot cum. His heavy balls emptying every last drop into your fucked out pussy. He groaned and moaned in your ears, holding you close to his body as he came down from his high. His breath was ragged and uneven.
He pulls out of you and watches it slowly drip out of your puffy lips. He collapses right next to you and pulls you into his chest. Stroking your sweaty hair and back. “I love you… I love you so much… and im sorry… i really am okay?” You hum softly, finally being able to register his words. “We will talk about this later, okay? I don’t want to lose you…” he pulls you in closer to his body and sigh, loving the warmth of your body against his own, but is quickly interrupted when- 
“Jungkook??? Y/n??? What's going on in there???”
Shit. 
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A/N: THANKS FOR READINGGGG I HOPE YALL LIKED IT 💔💔💔💔 think i might js turn into a jungkook blog 🤣😹🙏
Masterlisssttt :3
941 notes · View notes
seiwas · 1 year
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₊˚⊹。so this is what it means to be in love | gojo satoru
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wc: 8.9k
summary: gojo finds out what it really means to be in love. 
contains: f!reader in mind, friends to lovers (prev. slowburn), suggestive scenes, might be mature/mildly explicit? (i only mention ‘butt’ once though…), ‘being in love’ as a journey, almost like a falls in love first (you) vs. falls in love harder (gojo), they fight, they swear, character death/s mentioned, shibuya onwards spoilers, lots and lots and lots of love
a/n: this is better read after the other parts in the collection but can work as a stand alone too!, there’s a jump between this and tell me about love (show me how) so gojo would have developed a lot in the relationship since then! 
collection masterlist: conversations on love  +02 (extra). look my way, you're what i crave <- you are here + (extended scene) too good to be mine -> 3.5a. this feeling inside of me—
MINORS PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT.
this is a re-upload! (because i accidentally deleted the original one!)
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Gojo catches onto love slowly.
He takes the hand you leave open just for him, and closes the space between your palms, reducing infinity. 
Maybe he’s felt it all this time without knowing; after all, love looks a lot less profound as friends in your early 20’s. 
But being in it—being in love? That’s uncharted territory. 
Gojo’s been to a lot of places, has travelled back and forth from point-to-point endlessly. He’s survived battles, a war, near-death, and cursed spirits reincarnate; he’s got eyes—two bright blue and an extra four hidden, ones that see beyond human comprehension. Unearthing this simple truth shouldn’t shake him, shouldn’t even faze him. If anything, he should have seen it coming—
Except, he doesn’t. 
It sneaks up on him, bit by bit, until he finds that being in love means getting to experience you all over again, just differently.
.
.
.
It starts with the little things. 
Gojo has known you for so long (a decade and a few years more), but has only recently begun to notice everything: how your baby hairs stick out in the humidity of summer, the way you purse your lips in thought before finally deciding on a drink to order. You play with your fingernails subconsciously, out of habit, the soft taps on your nail beds an accompaniment of anxious conversations you’ve had since you were 23. 
He knows you always blink twice before focusing on him, and it’s a mystery whether this is a recent development or something he’s just never noticed, but if you’re trying to enchant him by the flutter of your eyelashes, he wants to let you know that it’s working—except, he knows that you aren’t, because you’re just like that: a daydream without even trying. 
These aren’t new things; he’s sure he’s probably encountered them all before, but lately they’ve evolved into cute things, and there’s no hiding the slight curve of his lips every time he spots them. 
.
The sun is beaming brighter this summer, the ocean a faraway blur from the beach towel you set up under the shade. Going to the beach is never your go-to when you think of an extremely hot afternoon, but Yuuji’s been eyeing a weekend getaway since sorcerer work’s lessened significantly. 
‘It’s a good effort,’ Gojo convinces you, ‘to get everyone together again.’
And it is—you see it now: Yuuji and Megumi preparing to fling Yuuta into the water while Nobara and Maki race along the shoreline. Toge stays close to Panda but he watches fondly, eyes crinkling every now and then, happy. 
When you blink, the image of them softens—a captured memory in the heat haze. 
The only older ones here are you and Gojo; Shoko’s always disliked the stickiness of sunblock on her skin, and Ijichi’s new position has made him constantly busy. Somewhere in the distance, you can maybe envision Nanami. He wouldn’t come if you or Gojo asked, but if it were Yuuji—
You rub at your eye, resting your chin on your hand as you will your tear ducts to please, don’t cry. 
Yuuji's been smiling a lot more lately, an observation you note from the way his ears are perked up every time you look his way. It’ll never be the same as it used to be but it’s relieving to know that he can exist living as himself now. Just Yuuji. 
You hug your knees tighter to your chest, wrapping your arms around it. Your place under the coconut tree provides ample enough shade but your back still burns from Gojo haphazardly slathering sunscreen on it after hearing an ice cream stand from miles away. 
The mind is a weird place to be at times like this—split into bittersweet reminiscing and telling yourself to just take this moment and breathe, to live in it. You think about Megumi, and how you hurt for him, always will, for all that he’s lost despite every attempt to avoid it.
You should have been there for Tsumiki, you could have been there for both of them. 
Your guilt never leaves you even on days that shine as vividly as this, but perhaps that’s the silver lining—that they’re still with you, always. You can carry pieces of them to these places, and scatter them to the wind, to the sand, to the sea, and maybe to the ice cream stand Gojo’s waiting in line of, surrounded entirely by kids. They all rise to half his size, but if you squint, you think the bounce in his step makes him blend right in. 
A chuckle escapes you. 
You could sort through your memories and land on one where he looks just like this—freakishly large limbs towering over a tiny, excited Tsumiki. Back then, an ice cream stop after school consisted of your pseudo-family of four, with Megumi on your hand and Tsumiki on his leg, both gripping tightly to combat a chilly 10°C.
Things are different now, evidently. Megumi’s outgrown it, and Tsumiki is no longer here. But Gojo has stayed the same, and it’s comforting to know that he will continue to be this Satoru, your Satoru, even when some things are gone. 
You don’t realize you’ve spaced out until he waves the ice cream cone while walking towards you.  
Gojo is a sight in trunks the color of his eyes, with seahorses and starfishes in an alternating pattern of peachy-pink against cerulean blue. 
You could have sworn you asked for your own cone, but he plops down beside you holding only one. For the both of you. The side-eye you give him is almost criminal, if not deadly, but your lips twitch from the smile you’re hiding (terribly). 
He raises an eyebrow and you break character, shaking your head while laughing. 
“Did you eat the other one on the way here?” you tease, craning your neck to lick at the bottom scoop (vanilla-strawberry-vanilla, Gojo’s signature order). 
Your tongue lands dangerously close to his fingers, and he feels it, but his eyes only land on you—your lips, how they part for your tongue to glide smoothly on his–both of your–dessert. You look every bit of an angel in the soft, pale hues of your bikini, but Gojo’s thoughts are anything but saintly. 
He blushes furiously, the tips of his ears and nose bright red as he turns away from you quickly. 
“I’m fulfilling your dream of sharing an ice cream cone with me.” he tilts his chin up, proud, smirking slightly. He jokes about it knowing full well that this is his dream come true, just by the look of you. 
You stay quiet, rolling your eyes but never meanly, no. You only ever do it fondly—he knows, being on the receiving end of it one too many times. 
The beach towel scrunches when you scoot closer, looping your arm around his as you both rest your elbows on your knees. Gojo holds the cone between you two, tipping it towards you when it’s your turn to lick. 
He shouldn’t stare, shouldn’t hyperfixate, but it’s so cute how you get the tiniest bit of ice cream on the tip of your nose—as if it belongs there, soft and sweet just like the rest of you. 
You look up to find Gojo gazing at you, eyes glimmering like sunlight on the ocean, and a tiny smile that only widens when he realizes you’ve caught him red-handed. Your eyes narrow suspiciously, scrunching your nose in an effort to stop yourself from grinning. 
When Gojo looks at you this way, as if you are his favorite place rediscovered, your heart thumps furiously against your ribcage. 
“What…” you drawl, your smile impossible to hide in the lilt of your voice. 
Gojo thinks he can count every eyelash, every speck of sand dotting your face, and stil not be bored of you. He can’t stop beaming. 
Is this what it means to be in love with you? 
“Nothing.” he replies, almost giggling, a little bashful but with every inch of sincerity. You know that smile, the only one that holds every ounce of Satoru. Gojo smiles big and wide to everyone else, but this small one you know, is reserved just for you. 
He leans in, lips coming closer to brush against the tip of your nose. Your eyes fall shut, instinctively, and the pink dot is wiped clean, a hint of strawberry dancing on his palate. He’s done this more times than he can count, has gotten this near to know that close will never be close enough, but you still jolt a bit—PDA has never been your thing. 
When he pulls away, you continue to stare at each other, locked in a gaze until the ice cream begins to drip down his fingers and onto the beach towel. It misses his trunks by a hair and you both laugh at how he belatedly tries to escape it even though it’s already there. 
It’s indescribable, this moment, seeing you in slow motion, laughing as bright as the sun—the sweetest sound he’s ever heard. It takes every bit of him to look away so he can wipe his hands clean from the dripping dessert.
You hand him a packet of wipes and beckon him to sit in front of you after. Squeezed onto the palm of your hand is a copious amount of sunscreen you plan to slather all over him. A touch-up, if you will. 
Gojo has sensitive skin, pale as bond paper and burns just as quickly. The high points of his face are already reddening, warm to the touch when you dab at them with sunscreen. 
You’re so near, so close, sitting cross-legged in front of him with your knees touching his. The tip of your tongue sticks out just slightly as you focus on his skin. 
Even though he knows, he still wonders what your lips would taste like, SPF chapstick and crumbly bits from the wafer cone. He wonders what your eyelashes would feel like, fluttering over his own. 
The light casts a halo around you and he thinks it’s fitting for all that you do. You pamper him like this, slather love all over his chest and back, massage it in so it dissolves into him—and he feels it so deep that he tastes it.
How can your love be so sweet? He thinks, sighing as your fingers work sunscreen up his neck from his collarbone. You always apply his skincare like this: upwards, gently—‘no tugging, please!’—something about keeping his baby face even when he’s old. 
“You should join them,” you mumble, rubbing more product onto the nape of his neck. You’re leaning over his shoulder, neck brushed against his cheek. 
Gojo hums, watching everyone from a distance. It’s been a while since he’s had a day like this. 
“But maybe after 30 minutes, so the sunblock doesn’t wash off. You’re already burning.” you note, coming back to sit. 
Of course, he’s already burning. How can he not when the sun is right in front of him? 
.
You join everyone for a game of beach volleyball in the sunset of the afternoon. You’re transported back to high school, the last time you did this—you and Satoru against Shoko and Suguru, with Haibara keeping score. 
From the way Gojo’s eyes are glossed over, you can tell he’s thinking about it too, the memory having seared itself into your brains forever, it seems. 
Being paired together should feel familiar—the same, but it doesn’t—isn’t, because Gojo can’t concentrate, sneaking glances to notice all the little things about you that he never used to. Your skin shines from the combination of sweat and sunscreen, and when you crash into him it’s both sticky and slippery. He should really ask for a time-out before you blind him completely. 
You look unfairly good in your bikini, too good he can barely hear you calling for him; between the ocean and his blood rushing, any other sound is drowned out into nothing. 
Maki and Yuuji absolutely demolish the both of you, reaching 15 first in the final set. Gojo blames the loss on you of course, even though he’s missed every pass you’ve sent his way and netted 60% of his spikes. 
And maybe it technically is your fault—you and your (very distracting) little things. But it’s entirely on him that he’s fallen for it, fallen for you as much as this. 
.
.
.
Gojo thinks of love differently when he sees a picture of himself and all it does is remind him of you.
There’s a photo tucked safely in his wallet (saved and set as his homescreen too). Shoko snorts when she walks in on him printing it, all six-foot-three of him hunched over the small inkjet printer in the faculty room. 
“It’s all digital now, Satoru,” she scoffs, taking a puff on her cigarette. 
Gojo doesn’t say anything even though he knows it’s true, too focused on watching the printer push out the two-by-three inch image he’s about to cut into. 
Print photos aren’t as important anymore when cloud storage spaces are just as–if not more–accessible, but Gojo is admittedly sentimental despite every front he puts up to hide it. 
He’s kept every single gift you’ve given him and camouflaged it as decoration in his office, and the family drawing 10-year-old Tsumiki made is still folded between the pages of a self-help book Yaga had given him when he first decided to teach. 
When every moment is experienced so vividly, seen through a muddle of infinite energies, there are those he wishes could stay still—ones that take up space to remind him: ‘this is real, it happened, and here is proof that it did’. 
He already has one of all of you, fresh-faced and barely pushing the peaks of youth at 16. A tangle of arms wrapped around each other—one of his gripping tightly on Suguru, and the other hanging loosely over you. Utahime is crouched in front, holding the hand you’ve placed on her shoulder while pulling Shoko into a semi-squish-semi-hug (because out of the four of you, Shoko is her favorite—completely valid; if given the choice, she’d be your favorite too). Nanami and Haibara stay close to Suguru, squatting low to balance the photo, and Haibara is smiling, the ever cheery grin Suguru loves to dote on, while Nanami is Nanami—sharp features and a serious gaze that you all know he’ll grow into someday, handsome with age. 
For the longest time, Gojo has kept that photo hidden, locked away in the drawer of his bedside table as if keeping it there means the memory will stay guarded forever—untouched, unspoiled, unruined. 
It would have stayed there if you didn’t stumble upon it while looking for his painkillers during another one of his skull-crushing migraines. 
You approach him with the image hesitantly, eyes damp and glossy. Years have faded the colors ever so slightly, but the corners remain crisp from being stowed away neatly. You say sorry, that you shouldn’t have looked through his things, but you remember the moment it was taken so fondly: a visit to the Kyoto campus on a one-day break to train with other students. 
Gojo has many theories about time and the multitude of spaces it takes—like how a person can exist at different points in time, disparate at each instance, and still take up the same big chunk of space. The opposite can be true too, that someone can live finitely (just once) and occupy spaces in every place you look: the face of a passerby down the road, a sign at the corner of the street, or even a photograph that immortalizes people you once knew. 
He only shares when you ask, aware that he tends to be a bit of a nerd about it whenever it’s brought up, but you don't mind. You like listening to it all, no matter how insightful or confusing they are for you to make sense—a version of him not many get to witness. His explanations are comprehensible for the most part, except—
When Gojo tells you that he’s kept the image in his drawer, hidden, because exposing it to the space-time that exists now will erase every reminder that it ever happened, you hug him tightly. 
Your sniffles are heard from the way his head is tucked into the crook of your neck, your fingers gripping strands of his hair in empathy. 
He considers your near-tears as a sign that the memory is long gone, decayed into the brittling tragedy of reality. But you smile, the corners of your lips bittersweet as you express disbelief that he’s kept it all this time. 
You tell him delicately that some precious things are meant to be celebrated, put out to be remembered—to be experienced. 
And it becomes clearer to him then, by the look in your eyes and remembrance soft-spoken, that what good is a photo unseen? 
What good is a love unwitnessed?
When you gift him a frame a year after finding the photo, he hangs it by the wall next to his office door. The image is painful to look at, always has been (even when it was hidden in his drawer)—during Suguru’s defection, and death anniversaries especially. 
The recent one for Nanami was heavy; the first time he’s ever been able to process grief fully. 
Gojo can argue that it grows more difficult every time he catches a glimpse of it from his desk, but you have a way of honoring pain that doesn’t make it sting as bad—that turns it into a reminder of a love that was once there, of feelings that hurt as evidence that someone cared. 
Now, he wants another photo printed, one of just the two of you. Not because it hurts, but because he wants this precious thing to be remembered and seen—for this love to be witnessed too. 
It’s self-timered, snapped under the shade of a cherry blossom tree in full bloom. The picture is far from perfect: your eyes bright and mouth open mid-fear of his phone falling off the bridge railing. 
You may look a teensy bit funny, but Gojo will always find it cute. Anyone can see it, at how he looks at you in that moment—like you are every bit worthy of the distance travelled and seasons waited. He gazes at you fondly, eyes holding clear skies and pink lips curling into a small smile. 
It’s cheesy, but if you ask him what he thinks about this year’s flowers, he’ll tell you none of them (not even any of them combined) could compare to you. The cherry blossoms could be gone and he’d still see them everywhere (in the softness of your lips, the fullness of your cheeks, the radiance you emit when you are truly, solely content and happy). 
He remembers that afternoon well: the spring breeze that jolts his phone sideways, his hand resting on your lower back, unseen in the image. There’s no real reason for visiting the blossoms on this day of all days, but Gojo doesn’t believe in coincidences, and he’s counted down exactly to a year since you both had your first kiss.
It’s so silly, because he’s never thought of things like this before. He knows you probably don’t think much of it either considering that neither of you have made anything official yet since. 
And he feels a little stupid for that, honestly. 
You have a drawer of his clothes for the nights he stays over (more often than not), and even though you go on these little trips that are so obviously dates, you both still just tell everyone you’re ‘hanging out’.
He’s not fooling anyone here, not when he looks at you then with the feeling of his chest expanding, stretching to accommodate the overflows of his affection since learning the ways to love you—tenderness caught in little pixels of eternity.  
When Gojo goes through all 179 photos from that afternoon, he filters out the ones to delete and picks this one out especially—favorites and resizes it to fit his home screen and his wallet too. 
There’s something about the look on his face that reminds him of every time he’s caught the same one on you. 
He slides the photo into the little sleeve behind his credit card, catching himself smiling—this must be because of you, he thinks, and the bits and pieces of yourself that have somehow become part of him slowly, sneaking into him unknowingly.
If this is what it means to be in love, with you, then he’s fucked. 
Don’t you know that he’s insatiable? These traces of you will only make him want the whole of you. 
.
You find the photo while he rushes to the restaurant restroom. On ‘hang out’s like this, you insist on splitting the bill, but Gojo has always been stubborn and you’ve learned that you can never argue. 
He hands you his wallet to pay with his card, and when you slide it out, the photo falls. It’s face down on the floor when you pick it up, fully expecting it to be a photocard of some idol you know Gojo follows. 
But it isn’t, and your smile widens. 
When Gojo comes back, you’re looking up at him affectionately, biting your lips as if to stop yourself from speaking—the same way he always does. 
It’s funny because, slotted between your two fingers is the photo he’s kind of flustered you found, but he has no time to be embarrassed when he sees a little bit of himself in the way you’re staring at him right now.
.
.
.
“So, Yuuji asked if we were together.” 
You quirk an eyebrow, looking up at Gojo from the pile of laundry you’ve begun folding on your bed. He emerges from the bathroom, ruffling his hair with a towel. 
Over the past year, Gojo has spent his weekends off with you, sleeping over and traipsing around your room in his pajama set as if he’s lived here just as long as you. 
You snort as you fold, amused that this is even a question to begin with. Yuuji’s always been known for being exceptionally dense, but you didn’t think it was this bad. Gojo was especially touchy with you during that beach trip, and you’re sure Megumi and Nobara have caught up to let him know by now, somehow. 
“What made him ask?” 
“I think he wants to take you away.” Gojo teases, wiggling his eyebrows as he throws the towel on the chair across your vanity. 
You roll your eyes, still sweetly, indulging him, “Sure.” 
It’s now a running joke that Gojo’s threatened about Yuuji stealing you; you’ve always had a soft spot for bright eyes and even brighter souls and Yuuji is as close to that as anyone can get.
It’s not like that though, it could never be; Yuuji is just like your Megumi—the two boys you want to protect and care for in hopes of treating them better than their lives have ever. 
Gojo feels the same, you know, otherwise he wouldn’t have guided them as much as he has (despite his... questionable ways). Still, your hands have always been gentler, kinder—and though shorter, have always outstretched much farther than his. 
You have a way of inching yourself into people’s lives that just fits. He’s experienced it first-hand, can’t even dare to imagine what his life would be like if you didn’t. 
He walks across the room to you, bed dipping as he steadies a knee before draping his entire body over your shoulders. 
Now that you think about it, it makes sense that Yuuji’s confused, because Gojo has always been extremely touchy to everyone, just never when the feelings mattered, with you. Kiss him once, though, and it snowballs into an avalanche of firsts. And what he’s about to do right now, he thinks, might just trigger another one to form all together. 
“As if I’d let him.” he mumbles right by your ear, chin tucked by the crook of your neck. It tickles when he speaks, his nose poking at your cheeks. 
“Who put you in charge?” you scoff jokingly, unfazed. 
He moves away from you in disbelief, mouth open as he stares at you mindlessly folding.
To be fair, he can’t fault you. You aren’t technically official even though you have kind-of-been for a little over a year. There’s no particular reason, just that you haven’t talked about it—part because you wanted him to approach it whenever he was ready, and also, because it just never seemed like a priority.
You laugh as he stares at you, stunned into silence, the pout on his face borrowed from all the versions of yours. 
There’s no point of contention because you’ve only ever loved Gojo since you were 17. 
“Kidding,” you kiss his cheek as an apology. 
“Don’t even joke about that.” he huffs, you’re starting to take after him a little too much.
“You’re mine.” he murmurs after, arms wrapped around your waist and legs stretched out wide to encase you. 
He says it as if it is the simplest truth. 
Your heartbeat quickens, too loud and pounding; this is the first time you’ve ever heard this from him, and a part of you thinks this is just another one of those flirty side-comments he makes on a whim.
“You tell him that?” you hope he can’t hear your voice shake as he nuzzles your neck, your fingers trembling on the pair of socks you have yet to roll. 
He hums, hugging you tighter. He waits for you to finish folding before letting you lean against him, offering his fingers for you to fiddle with. They’re cold, long and slender, veiny just by a bit, and he always gives them to you like they’re yours, you like to think. 
There’s an inhale, a breath of hesitation, before he exhales.  
“Something like it.” 
You don’t say anything, only nod, and it’s nerve-wracking. He’s so nervous even though he knows he doesn’t have to be because it’s just you. And there’s no need to doubt what you’re feeling. But—
“You are though,” he pauses, “right?” 
He has to be sure. This is a testament to you more than himself that he’s learned to ask instead of bulldozing you like he does with everyone else. Who else will he pick that up from but you? 
There’s hesitation you hear that you think shouldn’t be there anymore; the fact that you’ve given so much of yourself to this man and he still thinks you’re unsure—
“‘Cause I’m yours.” he speaks, clearly, definitively, before you can even answer. And you know—you’ve known ever since that party years ago. A simple admittance: ‘I’m taken’. 
You turn around to face him, eyes shimmering. 
Can he see? You’re meant for him only. 
All you’ve ever wanted was to love him; everything else he’s done up until this point is already more than you could ever imagine. The labels can only do so much to capture the gravity of what you are to one another: years of history unpacked into a mishmash of feelings overlapping—it’s a lot.
You sit cross legged in front of him, your knees touching his. He’s biting his lips again, an anxious habit you want to kiss away. 
Gojo has proven far too much of himself already that he’s serious with you—your kind-of-confession, that confrontation, and the days after, all the ways you’ve both learned to love each other. 
You cup his cheeks. 
A single word cannot possibly define what he is to you.
“I mean, o-only if you want me to be.” he adds on, blue eyes darting back and forth.
Gojo runs his mouth almost all the time and you’ve never heard him stutter once in his life. Except now. 
He’s endearing like this—a version of him you are slowly discovering. 
“Wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” you finally say, and it’s a relief. 
He feels good, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding. His arms pull you closer, hugging you tighter as you both smile. 
He kisses you once, twice, maybe a million times all over, travelling across your eyelids, the center of your forehead, down to the corners of your mouth before landing a real one right on your lips. 
Gojo always looks pretty but he looks prettiest like this, worry-free, with love in his eyes and nothing but pure happiness in the way he holds you. 
He won’t tell you that Yuuji asked about your anniversary, not if you were together. 
At least now he has an answer.
Gojo stares at you like he wants to say something, a thank you maybe, but he bites his lips instead. No words will ever amount to this feeling, he thinks, of his chest expanding and heart hammering. So he kisses you with all of it, trailing soft smacks of his lips down your neck, tickling. The tips of his hair are still wet from his shower, leaving droplets on your skin as he nips. 
You laugh—sprinkled in love. 
“S-stop!” you push him away, “Satoru,” giggling, “tickles!” 
“We have to consummate it now.” he whispers, grabbing you by the waist to place you on his lap, squeezing your sides while nibbling at your neck playfully. 
You roll your eyes at his antics, “It’s not–” you laugh out loud when he pinches your hips, “–marriage, Satoru.” 
Oh, if only you knew, he thinks. 
The image you’ve planted in his head is dangerous when he’s this drunk on love right now. 
More decades, more years spent with you? In another life, or maybe even in this one, if time permits, he wouldn’t mind making that come true. 
.
It’s crazy how much things can change—for all his life, he’s ruled out the possibility of love ever taking root in his ribcage. 
You’ve managed to make it feel so easy, so good, even when he was shit-terrified not knowing how to love you like he should. 
Now, he thinks, how could he ever miss out on love this way? A love this good, with you? 
.
.
.
For all of Gojo’s life, he’s never had to be anyone else—always the strongest, the only one. He’s never had to change anything about himself, because what’s there to improve when you’re already the best?
In a way, this is why it works with you. You’ve taken him as he is, all the good and ugly and never asked for anything more than what he can give. 
But being this in love with you—it’s foreign. There are pieces within him shifting, all on their own without him knowing. 
How he wants to be better, for you. To be good enough to deserve all of it, and give back more of it too. 
Gojo doesn’t realize how much love has changed him until he feels it uprooting every insecurity he never even knew existed, pulling it all up to the surface. 
When things are going great, it’s hard to imagine them ever going the other way. 
.
.
.
“You don’t mean that.” you mumble, voice trembling.
Gojo stares at you, at your lips quivering and the fists clenched to your sides. There are tears collecting in pools by your eyes, and if there’s anything else he hates in this world, it’s seeing you cry. 
So why?
Why couldn’t he just shut up? 
“Please tell me you don’t mean that,” you take a step closer, gripping the edge of his jacket, “Satoru.” your voice cracks, begging. 
It’s an out-of-body experience when Gojo registers that he’s fucked up, and he sees himself now, bird’s-eye-view, and thinks this is the worst thing he could do to you after all you’ve been through. 
“I need some time to think,” he says, finally, the only words coming out of his mouth—but he can’t hear himself speaking. 
He should have said sorry, taken it all back, he thinks, not make it worse by leaving. 
He heads for the door, heart crunching under each footstep away from you. 
Is this what being in love’s supposed to do? Break his heart while yours is bleeding?
.
You’re too good for Gojo, in every sense of the word—and he knows it.
You are far too kind, far too generous, far too patient with him. You give him more love than he deserves, definitely, and admittedly enough, with how he is, you have been settling for the bare minimum but that’s on him, not on you. 
He had no right speaking to you the way he did, hurting you with accusations born from insecurities he’s never before had to deal with. 
He knows it. 
Who accuses you of ‘meddling’ as if everything out of you doesn’t come from the goodness of your heart? Of provoking you with ‘chasing the bare minimum’ as if he isn’t aware that that’s all he’s given you to work with? 
Utahime was right in telling you to be careful with him, and he doesn’t blame her for it. He would have done the same. 
He should have told you there was something brewing inside of him already—should have talked to you instead of bursting from all the things people have been saying lately.
Gojo hasn’t spoken to you in three days and the feeling this compares to is worse than anything else he’s ever had to face. 
.
He knocks on your door at night, a little past dinner and too early for bedtime. They echo loudly within the walls of your apartment, and you drag yourself up despite your obvious look of heartbreak. 
Gojo hears your footsteps and everything moves entirely too slowly; the lock, taking far too long to turn, the gap between the door and the door frame widening incrementally. Even your face comes into view as if in stop motion, frame-by-frame, gradually.
His hands are in his pockets, lips bitten to bleed. He’s pretty sure he isn’t breathing when he takes you in—puffy eyes and a sweater that belongs to him. 
(Is it sick of him to say that he still finds you beautiful this way? Even when you look every bit the part of heartache?) 
Gojo didn’t have a plan coming here, didn’t have a list of things to say, just the feeling that he needed to talk to you, see you, even just be around you today. 
When your eyes meet, it’s quiet. You stare into him for one–two–three– (Can you tell that they’re watery? Can you see they’re puffed up too?) and then open the door wider to let him in. You head straight to the kitchen, never once looking back while dragging your feet. 
He stands outside a few seconds more, waiting for you to take it back—but you don’t, so he walks in and closes the door.
He’s been in your apartment plenty of times before, has practically lived in it by how often he stays over. But this is the first time he’s felt wholly out of place, not knowing where to put himself, just standing in the space between your kitchen counter and the living room awkwardly.
You push a glass of water towards him and he can’t stop staring at it—at you, at your fingers that he wants nothing more now but to hold. 
Even with all his faults, all his wrongs, you open your arms for him to walk into, allow him in as if he didn’t just hurt you. 
And he wants to cry, at the fact that this place still feels like home, at how it’ll always feel that way wherever you go. 
How are you still treating him so kindly? Still taking care of him? A glass of water is one too many for someone like him. 
You turn away from him to pour yourself your own then he speaks—
“You should be angry with me.” Gojo says softly, but you hear it. 
You pause, tilting the pitcher back upright. 
“Why aren’t you angry at me?” he says, a little louder this time, more desperate, more pleading.
Why are you never angry at me? he wants to ask. 
You turn around to face him, putting the pitcher down.
Under your kitchen lights, his eyes shine like sunlight on the ocean, waves lapping on the shore. You think it might be a trick of the light, but his lips tremble when he closes them, as if he can’t speak any more. 
It’s just as you’ve said, there’s no point being angry with him when your heart can never take it. 
You always give Gojo the benefit of the doubt, and though he’s hurt you—though this might be the most painful thing he’s told you yet, you know that he’s been under immense pressure lately. Stressed beyond belief from negotiating with the government on policies for jujutsu society. 
It’s not an excuse, you know, but Gojo always has his reasons. He'll tell you eventually, you believe that much. 
You give him a sad smile, struggling to stop your tears from spilling. His fists are clenched too tightly, nails digging in hard enough to bleed. He hasn’t moved since coming in, so you push yourself off the kitchen sink towards him. 
You take his hands first, unfurl each finger pressed upon his palm and rub gently. He cries quietly for a love so pure that only you would attempt to ease his hurt despite the pain he’s dealt you. 
You tiptoe second, pulling the sleeves of your (his) sweater before reaching up to wipe his eyes—beautiful and blue just like you’ve always known, droplets of the ocean at your fingertips. 
“Be mad,” he whispers, “please.” squeezing his eyes tightly. 
It hurts more when you aren’t, he thinks. 
His hand comes up to grip your wrist, bringing it down to cup his cheek. You stroke your thumb across his skin, soothing, loving, and that’s all it takes for him to pull you in. He hugs you tight, arms wrapped around you, clutching. 
He wouldn’t deserve you. In any life.
Gojo’s never cried this much before, head pressed to your neck as you rub circles along his back, shushing him softly. You start sniffling too, small at first until it turns into soft hiccups when you finally cry. 
Your grip on him tightens. 
“‘M sorry.” he mumbles, lips moving against your neck. 
“‘S–” you hiccup, “–okay.” 
“Stop saying that when it’s not,” he presses against you, nuzzling your neck, “I hurt you.”
“Then don’t–” another hiccup, “–call yourself–” hic, “–bare minimum.” you cry harder. 
Gojo knows your heart and the tears that leak out of your eyes; he knows they hold pain for more than just yourself but every single person in your life. You, crying now, is evidence of that truth—shedding tears for him not just because of him when he thinks he’s the bare minimum. 
This must be what it means to be truly, deeply loved, he thinks, to have someone know what you mean without even having to speak it—to know your heart, and all the good and bad parts of it. 
“I don’t think I’m good enough to you,” he admits, pulling himself away from you.
When he sees your face, wet, with your nose and eyes puffed up from crying, he decides that he hates it more than anything else. Makes it sick to his stomach, even. 
He cradles your cheeks, thumbs wiping away your tears. A whole hand of his could cover your face entirely, but he always, without fail, holds you delicately. 
“That’s not–” hic, “–true.” you gather your breathing, holding him by the wrists as he presses his forehead against yours. “Only I get to decide that. Not anyone, not you.” 
You kiss his lips, a small peck before nudging his nose with yours. You soothe each other this way—in the quiet, swaying to your own tune. 
“You’re good to me plenty, Satoru.” you whisper, once both of you have settled. 
He opens his eyes to look at you, smiling sadly as he cradles your face, “I didn’t mean it.” 
Whatever he told you that day, taking it all out on you.
“I know.” you mumble, nodding. 
You always do. 
.
.
.
Gojo has always loved you, in some type of way—as friends, colleagues, a-little-bit-more-but-less-than what you are today. 
But how he feels right now? It’s kind of ridiculous, borderline out-of-hand, and it’s driving him insane. 
It’s such a simple, ordinary thing for you to do: you rush up to him, phone in hand and scroll to some video you found online. You’re so excited, a bounce in your step as if he’s the first and only person you want to show this to. Your eyes shine bright with a megawatt smile to match, and you’re talking so, so fast, completely lit up like fireworks in the making. 
He knows you think that he’s listening but, he couldn’t care less about it honestly. Sorry. Not when the words go in one ear and out the other, because all that registers is how adorable you are, giddy and everything. 
He makes a joke—completely unrelated, but you find it so funny. Then you’re laughing, full on smacking his arm, doubled over, arms hugging your stomach, guffawing. Your feet are kicking the air as you sink deeper into your couch. Gojo’s standing in front of you, post-enactment of some impression he made, and he’s frozen in place but warm all over. 
Seeing you laugh like this, smile like this, being so pretty when you’re happy, the pounding in his chest goes crazy. 
This isn’t the first time he’s made you laugh; he does it all the time. You almost always roll your eyes and chuckle, sometimes giggle with your eyes squinting and laugh lines creasing. But it might be the first time it’s like this: with you so bright, more than the sun and every other star in the sky. 
And he thinks, this is all he could ever want—to make you happy for the rest of his life. 
There’s too much of this feeling inside of him, clawing at his throat, itching to get out. He’s filled with it, has been filled with it for so long that it’s starting to overflow and if he doesn’t say this now he might just—
“I’m so in love with you.” 
Gojo breathes it out, as if finally releasing it after all this time. You don’t think he processes it because he just stands there, in the middle of your living room, staring at you. 
Your laughter dies with maybe a little part of you too (in a good way). 
He looks so sweet, so sincere, and you see his heart, so big, so honest and pure. You get flashbacks of every Satoru you have ever known, at 15, 17, 23, to now. 
It’s not like either of you don’t know; it’s plain as day, how you feel about each other—and you would have been fine going on without ever having to hear him speak of love this way.
But hearing it now, it’s far better than anything you could have imagined. 
You stare at him. He stares at you. 
He’s shocked too. 
You don’t want to embarrass him, especially if he didn’t mean to say it, so you chuckle, moving on to break the quiet.
“I can unhear it if you want,” you offer shyly, genuinely. 
Gojo looks at you, confused, before a pout makes its way onto his face. You sit up on your couch, playing with your fingers as you look up at him.
Sure, he practically blurted it out, maybe in the heat of the moment, or something, but it doesn’t make it any less true. And he’s realizing that the only thing he really wants from this—
“Though…” you continue, biting your lips, “I think I’m pretty in love with you too.” 
The little laugh you make has him, completely. 
The grin that breaks on his face is infectious. Gojo, who is normally so pale, is now pink all over—red by his ears and down his neck. There’s a sparkle in his eyes that can be found in yours too. 
This moment right here feels like first loves—teens first saying ‘I love you’. 
“You think?” he asks incredulously, joking, “So you’re not sure?” he walks closer to you. 
You laugh, candy for his cravings, and take his hand to kiss each knuckle before guiding it to your cheek. He runs a thumb across your skin, affection on his fingertips. His index finger hooks itself under your chin, tilting it to rest on his stomach as you look up at him. 
A kiss to your forehead, tenderly, gently. 
The best part about being in love? 
He gets to be in it with you. 
.
.
.
Gojo can’t sleep. 
It’s not anything new—4 hours on average, maybe 6 on a good night. He doesn’t remember a time when sleep ever came easily.
Sleeping with you, beside you, has helped, but it’s never solved the problem. You’ve gotten him to a full 8 hours before, but never consecutively, and he’s starting to think that if you can’t do it, nothing ever will. 
Your sleeping positions change every night, but they always come out as some variation of hugging. Gojo firmly believes that he might as well sleep alone if you aren’t touching. 
Tonight, you’re spooning, arm slung over his waist and palm right on his chest, fingers interlaced with his. Your legs stay tangled together with soft puffs of air blowing at the back of his neck. 
He opens his eyes and checks the clock by his bedside. 3:24 a.m. 
He sighs deeply, carefully maneuvering his body to slip away from you. You used to wake up the first few times this happened, worried about an emergency or some kind of accident. Being a sorcerer trains you for things like that. 
You’ve always known Gojo had bad sleep, just not the severity of it. 
You don’t wake up to it as much as you used to, having grown accustomed to it after more nights together, but on the off-chance that you do, Gojo always kisses your forehead gently as if to tell you that it’s okay, you can go back to sleep.
You don’t wake up now, thankfully, so he grabs his phone and heads for the kitchen. There’s a sinking feeling in his chest tonight, far heavier than others he’s woken up from. He pours himself a glass of water before hopping on the kitchen counter, ready to sort through the bowl of candy sitting on the island. 
The date today is October 31. Halloween. It’s been a few years since Shibuya but he still feels like he’s suffocating. 
In the train station. In the box.
In front of Suguru—or Kenjaku, both, whatever. 
He’s gone to therapy, just like you wanted, for the both of you, and grieving has been an interesting concept to wrap his head around since.
But no matter how much he trains his mind to deal with it, his body will always remember the feeling. 
He snaps out of it when he hears your footsteps padding on the floorboards. Your figure emerges from the hallway, bed hair and eyes still sleepy, squinting. 
“Satoru?” you rub at your eyes, his sleep shirt entirely too long as the sleeves extend past your fingertips. The extra fabric swings in the air. “You okay?” you whisper, approaching him. 
Waking you up is the last thing he could ever want right now, but it’s hard when you’re also the only one he can talk about this with. When you know what it’s like to grieve everyone too.  
He has every intention of brushing it off, of telling you to go to sleep, but one look at you—one look at him and it’s like you just know. He doesn’t even need to explain. 
It isn’t hard to piece together, knowing what today is and seeing him choked up the way he is. You tell Gojo it’s your intuition, but he has a tell, and maybe you’re the only one who knows it. 
His eyes—they’ve always given him away. There’s the Satoru you know, then a Satoru that’s far removed, gone away. You can spot it though, the moment it loses its sparkle, the moment it turns from blue to gray. 
He feels a little selfish sharing this with you; he’s not the only one who’s lost people. You have too. 
You stand in front of him and offer a sad smile, outstretching your arms as an invite, as if to tell him: you can stay here for as long as you’d like. 
He moves into your space slowly, hopping off the kitchen island to slump against you. 
He doesn’t hug you yet, not immediately, hands still shaky at the memory. You rub his back, hooking your chin on his shoulder as he bends down to rest his head by your cheek. 
You take his hand delicately, bringing them to your lips so you can kiss every fingertip gently. When you finish, he wraps his arms around you, squeezing tightly. 
“Do you want to talk about it?” you whisper, like a hushed secret. 
And he wants to, but also, there isn’t anything else to say that you don’t know already. You were there the first few times he had therapy, and when he felt comfortable enough to go alone, he told you all about it anyway right after. 
If there’s a secret to fighting the Gojo Satoru with guaranteed victory, they’d only have to get to you—he’d be gone, entirely. You know too much of him, own too many parts of him already. 
He chuckles dryly, vibrating by your neck. A step back and he’s leaning against the counter, bringing you closer by the hip, thumb stroking. He tucks away strands of your hair behind your ear, flattening down the bird’s nest that it is from your sleep. 
“Nothing you haven’t heard before, pretty.”
Gojo’s been more tender lately, especially in the night when his piercing eyes turn soft, gazing. 
You pout, the same one since you were 16. You don’t know if you’ll ever get used to it, the way he calls you such sweet, honeyed things; you’ve only recently begun to call him ‘baby’ and that alone has been enough to make your head spin. 
Still, he wouldn’t be your Satoru if he didn’t surprise you. With how he is now, it’s hard to imagine a time when this was all so difficult for him, when even the slightest bit of your hands touching was challenging. 
It’s hard to imagine that both of you are here now, living in the same space, by the kitchen at night, with the contents of your hearts memorized—the sorrow, the pain, the joy, all the love, every single one. 
He kisses your nose, and that’s comfort alone. 
This is his reality now, with you, and it’s safe.
It’s good. 
“Do you want to make waffles?” he hears you mumble, running your hands over his chest, soothing.  
The clock reads 3:56 a.m. Early breakfast doesn’t sound so bad, could also be a midnight snack.
(But he knows what you’re doing). 
You don’t tell him to try to go back to sleep, never forcing anything you know he can’t do. Instead, you offer yourself to stay up with him, keep him company. Whatever he needs. 
(And he loves that about you). 
.
.
.
Gojo will forever argue that you might have fallen first, but he’s definitely fallen harder. 
He could map out every single location he’s laid his love on—your eyes, the flutter of your eyelashes, the curve of your nose, and your lips, the same ones he’s kissed and nipped, bitten until he gets his fill. 
Your neck and chest—a canvas for his desires. He glides a finger across your collarbone before lightly tapping on it thrice. 
There’s the little dip at the base of your spine, and your thighs—
Oh, he could get lost in them. 
He knows. 
He has. Many times.
There’s an animal inside of him that only answers to you. 
When you kiss his neck and grip his back, soft moans by his ear—short and sweet. He’s a gone man, wholly devoted to you, and you only. 
You breathe his name out, “Satoru,” raspily, and he sinks into you—everything, all that he has spilling in the depths of you. 
How can he possibly contain all this love?
It’s scary how so much of him already belongs to you, all these years—how you’ve been carrying pieces of him, all versions of him throughout every birthday, every moment you’ve touched his life and have it irrevocably changed. 
.
“Are you happy?” he mumbles by your ear, voice deep and lazy. 
It’s the morning, sunlight barely peeking through your curtains. Gojo hugs you from behind, arms caging you as he traces little hearts on your sides. 
“Right now?” you whisper back, chuckling, “That’s not fair.” 
He nips at your ear, a small bite, before you turn to face him.
He supposes you’re right, it isn’t fair to ask that now; both your bodies are sore, well-exhausted, and littered with conversations on love. 
Gojo is pretty in the mornings just like he is all the time, his hair lending well to sunlight as much as it does to the moonlight. And his eyes—they shine a different shade during the day compared to the night. 
You though, you’re an entirely different creature of your own: a goddess in bedsheets and pillows, wrapped in immaculate white.  
You giggle when you face him, nose-to-nose, and he pulls you in tighter, grips you by the butt to slot you in right where you belong. 
Are you happy with me? 
He wonders, and you can read it—his eyes his greatest tell. You kiss him tenderly, lips moving gently against his. Then you smile, sincerely, before whispering—
“Wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”
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this is a re-upload! (because i accidentally deleted the original one!) thank you notes: to @stellamancer for being there since the very start!! col wouldn’t even exist without you!! you’re every much part of the creation of this as i am :'), to @crysugu for being so ever supportive, cheering me on all the time!! and for loving col reader as much as i do!! and to you reading this and everyone else who has loved this collection so far!!  of course!! a credit to all the writers whose works have inspired the way i view and write gojo: to @seravphs for teen dad!gojo and cruel summer influences, i draw so much of the way i understand these characters and their dynamics from you and your beautiful way of writing them and i hope my interpretation gives justice to that!!, to @augustinewrites for keeping up with the fushigojos, this series and the way you write them, with so much love, has always pushed for me to view gojo that way!! you’ve inspired so much of my understanding that gojo does believe in love and that when he falls in it, he falls in it hard!!
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comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡
3K notes · View notes
kentobb · 3 months
Text
The Bet
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Characters: College! Sukuna x Female Reader
Genre: Angst
Warnings: Suggestive (in MeiMei’s part)
Author’s note: Look… I miss the wattpad kind of stories, ok?
Part 02 Part 03 Part 04 Part 05 Part 06 Part 07 Part 08
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Ryomen Sukuna is a force of nature on the basketball court, his movements precise and powerful, each play calculated and executed with ruthless efficiency. His reputation as one of the most popular guys in college was well-earned, not just for his athletic prowess but also for his charisma and the magnetic presence that drew people to him. His imposing stature, marked by a lithe, muscular frame and a face that seemed perpetually set in a mix of boredom and amusement, only added to his allure. Yet beneath the surface, Sukuna a man of dualities, balancing his athletic pursuits with a rigorous academic schedule as a finance major, preparing to take over his father's sprawling business empire alongside his brothers, Choso and Yuuji.
As Sukuna settled into his seat for one of his finance classes, he glanced around the room, searching for his usual group of friends, the "bros" he did most of his projects with. His gaze fell on Professor Amano, who was already launching into a monologue about the importance of collaboration and real-world application. Sukuna's attention drifted, his mind wandering to the next basketball game, the next strategy meeting with his brothers. It wasn't until Professor Amano's voice sharpened with the announcement of assigned partners for the upcoming project that Sukuna snapped back to attention.
"Ryomen Sukuna," the professor's voice rang out, "you'll be working with Y/N.”
A collective murmur rippled through the room. Sukuna's eyes narrowed as he scanned the rows of desks. Y/N. The name was vaguely familiar, but not in the way his friends names were. Then he spotted you: a quiet girl sitting near the back, partially hidden and a stack of books that seemed almost as tall as you were.
You were the type of person Sukuna had always dismissed as unimportant, background noise in the cacophony of his life. He had seen you in the library, absorbed in your studies, nose buried in books while he and his friends joked and laughed nearby. He had noticed you walking alone on campus, steps light and your eyes focused on some distant point, lost in your own world. You were like a ghost, drifting through the peripheries of his vision, never drawing enough attention to warrant a second glance.
Now, you are his partner.
Suppressing a groan, Sukuna stood and made his way to the back of the room. As he approached, you looked up, your eyes wide and slightly wary. You were plain, in an understated way, with large, expressive eyes and a delicate frame that seemed almost fragile. There was a quiet intensity about you, a depth that Sukuna couldn't quite place but found himself intrigued by despite himself.
He continued walking towards you, still observing. You were different, that much was clear. As he got closer, he realized he had been staring.
Your doe-like eyes meeting his, wide and a bit startled.
Sukuna quickly tried to play it off. "Uh, you have something on your forehead."
Your eyes widened in embarrassment, and you immediately started brushing at your forehead, clearly flustered. "Oh, um, did I get it?"
Sukuna smirked, shaking his head. "Yeah, you're good."
He sat down across from you, still amused by your reaction. "What's your name?"
"Y/N…” you replied, your voice soft but clear.
"I'm Sukuna. Ryomen Sukuna," he said, expecting a flicker of recognition or at least some reaction to his name. Instead, you simply nodded and immediately pulled out the project guidelines.
"So, for our project," you began, "I was thinking we could analyze a smaller company. It might be easier to get detailed information and understand their financial strategies."
Sukuna was momentarily taken aback. You weren’t flustered by him? Nor was trying to impress him?
You went straight to the point, focused entirely on the task at hand. It was... unexpected. He had anticipated some level of interest or at least the usual star-struck reaction he got from most girls. Instead, you seemed almost indifferent, entirely engrossed in the project.
"Uh, yeah, sure," he finally said, shaking off his surprise. "That sounds like a solid plan."
You nodded, jotting down notes. "Great. We should meet up in the library later to start gathering resources and outline our approach."
As you continued discussing the project, Sukuna couldn't help but feel a bit disoriented. You, Y/N, weren’t what he had expected at all. You are focused, determined, and completely unfazed by him. And for the first time in a long time, Sukuna finds himself intrigued by someone who seemed entirely uninterested in his popularity.
You both arranged to meet later that day in the library. As Sukuna made his way through the bustling campus, he found his thoughts drifting back to you. There was something about your quiet intensity that piqued his curiosity. You weren’t trying to impress him or win his favor; you were just yourself, unapologetically so.
The library was quieter than usual when he arrived, the hushed atmosphere creating a stark contrast to the lively campus outside. He spotted you at a table near the back, already surrounded by a stack of books and your laptop. You were scribbling furiously in a notebook, your brow furrowed in concentration.
"Hey," Sukuna greeted, taking a seat across from you.
You looked up briefly and nodded. "Hi. I found a few resources that might be useful for our project. Here, take a look."
You pushed a few books and articles towards him, your demeanor completely professional. Sukuna took the materials, flipping through them as he tried to shake off the odd sense of disorientation he felt around you.
"So," he said, trying to make conversation, "how come I haven't seen you around much before?"
You shrugged, your eyes still on your notes. "I- I don’t know. I’m always here studying…”
Sukuna nodded, not entirely surprised. "Makes sense. You seem pretty focused..."
"I try to be," you replied, finally looking up at him. "I want to make sure we do well on this project."
Sukuna found himself studying your face again, noticing the subtle determination in your eyes. "You're really serious about this, huh?"
"Of course," you said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "A good grade on this project could make a big difference."
He couldn't help but be impressed by your dedication. Most people he knew, himself included, didn't approach their studies with this level of seriousness. "Yeah, I get that," he said. "I guess I should thank you for keeping us on track."
Your lips quirked into a small smile. "Just doing my part."
As you continued speaking about the project, your voice steady and full of conviction, Sukuna found his mind drifting. He watched you, taking in the details he hadn't noticed before. Your long sleeves hid your arms completely, the oversized sweater hanging loosely on your frame. Your long pants and well-worn Converse sneakers added to the effect, making you seem almost invisible. He could barely see your body, save for the slender column of your neck. It was almost like you didn’t want to be seen.
Your words flowed smoothly as you outlined the plan, your eyes lighting up with enthusiasm whenever you discussed a particularly interesting point. But Sukuna focus was divided. Part of him was listening to you talk about financial strategies and analysis, but another part was trying to read you, to understand why someone would go to such lengths to remain unnoticed.
Your eyes flicked to him occasionally, as if checking to make sure he was following along, but you didn't seem to notice his distracted gaze. Your hands moved animatedly as you talked, slender fingers tapping on the table for emphasis. You were clearly passionate about the project, but Sukuna couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more of you than this quiet, studious exterior.
Finally, you wrapped up the discussion. You gathered your things, slipping your notebook and pens into a well-worn backpack. "So, we’ll meet tomorrow afternoon to start compiling our research?" You confirmed, looking at him expectantly.
"Yeah, sounds good," Sukuna replied, forcing his attention back to the project. "I'll see you then.
Sukuna stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder, watching as you disappeared into the crowd. A few of his friends called out to him, waving him over to join their conversation, but he found himself hesitating. He couldn't stop thinking about you, about the way you seemed to fade into the background while holding so much within you.
He had always been surrounded by people, his life filled with noise and activity. But now, watching you walk away, he felt a strange pull towards the quietness you embodied. You were like a puzzle, each piece hidden beneath layers of oversized clothes and a reserved demeanor, and he found himself wanting to understand you more.
As he made his way out of the library he saw you turn the corner towards the dorms. He could have followed you, but he held back, respecting your space for now. There would be plenty of time to learn more about you as you worked on the project together.
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The weekend arrived, and Sukuna's apartment transformed into the campus hotspot. The music blasted from the speakers, and the pulsating beat seemed to resonate through the walls. Laughter and chatter filled the air, and the living room was crowded with students dancing, talking, and enjoying themselves. Sukuna, typically at the center of it all, found himself drifting to the edges, his eyes scanning the room for one particular face: You.
He wove through the throng of people, nodding and smiling at familiar faces, but he couldn't spot you anywhere. He paused by the kitchen, grabbing a drink and leaning against the counter, lost in thought. Did you not know you were invited? Everyone on campus knew about the party; word had spread like wildfire. But then again, this wasn't really your scene. The loud music, the throngs of people – it was the complete opposite of the quiet, studious environment you preferred.
As he pondered this, Mei Mei, the cheerleader captain, caught his eye. She was standing with a group of friends, but her gaze was locked on him. Her confident smile and flirtatious look were unmistakable. She sauntered over, her hips swaying with each step, and leaned against the counter next to him.
"Hey, Suku" she purred, her voice barely audible over the music. "Having fun?"
"Always," he replied with a smirk. "What about you?"
"Oh, you know me," she said, leaning closer. "I always find a way to have fun."
They exchanged a few more words, the conversation laced with flirtation. Mei Mei leaned in, murmuring something in his ear that made him chuckle. He knew exactly where this was heading. With a smirk, he took her hand and led her through the crowd towards his room.
As they made their way through the party, Sukuna's thoughts momentarily drifted back to you. But why? Why you? You’re just… a random girl he is working a project with. He just had hoped you might step out of the comfort zone and show up, even if just for a little while. But deep down, he knew this wasn’t your vibe. The library, with its hushed tones and stacks of books, was more your speed.
When they reached his room, he closed the door behind them, shutting out the noise and chaos of the party. His mind focused on the present moment, and he let himself be distracted by Mei Mei, at least for a little while.
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Hours later, as the party continued to rage on outside, Sukuna found himself lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Mei Mei was already asleep beside him, her breathing slow and steady. Despite the noise and the energy still buzzing through his apartment.
The rest of the weekend passed in a blur of parties, hangovers, and half-hearted attempts at studying. Sukuna couldn't help but wonder what you had been doing instead. Studying, probably. Or maybe you had spent time at the library, like you mentioned during your conversation. The thought of you enjoying a quiet, serene day by the library brought a small smile on his face.
Monday rolled around, and the campus was abuzz with talk of his party. Everyone was raving about how wild it had been, and people were already asking when the next one would be. Sukuna nodded along, playing the part of the cool, popular guy, but his mind was elsewhere.
When he entered the classroom, he immediately spotted you in your own usual seat at the back. Already engrossed in your notes, completely oblivious to the buzz of conversation around you. Sukuna frowned slightly, realizing he hadn’t seen you at the party. He wondered if you hadn’t known about it or if you had simply chosen not to come. It seemed like everyone had been invited, after all.
Sukuna made his way over to her and dropped into the seat next to her. “Hey,” he greeted, his voice still a bit rough from the weekend.
You looked up, blinking in surprise. “Hi,” you replied, then immediately started pulling out your notes and materials for the project.
You launched into a detailed explanation of the research you had gathered, focus entirely on the task at hand. You talked about financial strategies and market analysis, not once veering into anything personal. It was as if the wild weekend and his social status didn’t exist in your world. This bothered Sukuna more than he cared to admit.
“Hey, I didn’t see you at my party,” Sukuna interjected, cutting you off mid-sentence.
You looked at him, expression neutral. “That’s not really my scene.”
Sukuna raised an eyebrow. “Not your scene? What’s your vibe then?”
You paused, your eyes drifting away for a moment, wondering why the famous and popular Sukuna took interest in that fact. “I guess… not that?”
Sukuna stared at you, completely bewildered. “Uh...perhaps you should try it?”
You shrugged, your demeanor calm and collected. “No, but thanks Sukuna.” You smiled, “I’ve finished my part of the project. I just need your input so we can compile everything.”
Sukuna nodded, still trying to process your turn down. “Yeah, that’s cool. I’ll get my stuff together.”
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Sukuna headed to basketball practice. The gym was alive with the sounds of sneakers squeaking on the polished floor, the thud of the ball hitting the ground, and the chatter of his teammates. As he entered the locker room, he could hear them talking about the weekend and other random stuff.
"Man, that party was insane," Geto said, shaking his head as he laced up his sneakers.
"Yeah, still can't believe you drank that whole keg, Geto," Todo added, giving Geto a playful shove.
Geto grinned, rubbing his head sheepishly. "What can I say? I was thirsty!"
As Sukuna joined them, Geto looked up and smirked. "Hey, Sukuna. How's that project going? Heard you didn't get paired with Nanami this time."
The rest of the team burst into laughter, enjoying the ribbing. Sukuna rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but grin. "Yeah, yeah. I got stuck with the nerd."
Gojo, ever the instigator, leaned in with a mischievous glint in his eye. "You know, I bet behind all those big clothes, there's someone hot."
The group fell silent for a moment before bursting into laughter and wild speculation. "Yeah, she could be hiding a killer body under there," Todo chimed in, winking.
"Maybe she's secretly a model," Gojo added, chuckling.
"Guys, seriously?" Sukuna groaned, but he couldn't help but laugh along with them. The whole situation was ridiculous.
Gojo, never one to let an opportunity for chaos pass by, continued to prod. "Come on, Sukuna. You like her, don't you?"
Sukuna rolled his eyes, feeling the weight of their collective gaze. "She's not my type, alright? I don't go for girls like her.”
"Oh really?" Gojo raised an eyebrow, a sly grin forming on his lips. "I bet you can't pull her. That's some big game, and you always go for the easy ones."
The locker room erupted in laughter and shouts, the noise bouncing off the walls. Sukuna felt the pressure mounting as his teammates egged him on, their immature antics reaching new heights.
"Yeah, Sukuna, she's out of your league!" Geto teased, his face split into a wide grin.
"Sukuna's got no game!" Todo added, doubling over with laughter.
Sukuna took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "It's not that I can't pull her. I just don't see any win in that."
Gojo's eyes sparkled with mischief as he stepped closer. "Alright, how about this: I bet you a hundred bucks you can't hook up with her."
Sukuna raised an eyebrow, a slow grin spreading across his face. "Now we're talking."
The locker room exploded with cheers and laughter as the bet was made. Sukuna felt a mix of excitement and trepidation. He couldn't back down now, not with everyone watching.
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As he walked into the classroom, he spotted you in your usual seat, your nose buried in a book. He felt a strange mix of relief and disappointment. He approached you and sat down next to you, greeting you with a casual, "Hey."
You looked up, offering him a polite smile. "Hi."
He needed to think of something, anything and— “I was wondering if you could help me with my part of the project,” he said, trying to sound casual.
You blinked, clearly surprised by the request. “Sure. What do you need help with?”
“I’m a bit stuck on the research,” he lied, hoping you would buy it. “I was thinking maybe we could meet up later to work on it.”
“Alright,” you said, nodding. “We can meet at the library.”
Sukuna cursed inwardly but kept his cool. “Yeah, the library sounds good. What time?”
“How about five?” she suggested.
“Perfect,” he replied, smiling. “See you then.”
Class went on, and Sukuna could barely concentrate. He glanced at you every now and then, wondering how he was going to pull this off. You were like a fortress, and he needed a battering ram.
After class, Sukuna walked out, trying to shake off the morning’s frustration. He spotted Gojo leaning against a wall, smirking as he saw you walking in the opposite direction.
"Hey, Sukuna!” Gojo called out, a wide grin plastered on his face. “How’s the project with Miss Goodie two shoes going?”
Sukuna rolled his eyes. “It’s going fine, Gojo.”
Gojo raised an eyebrow, glancing at your retreating figure. “Sure looks like it. She’s practically sprinting away from you.”
The other guys from the team started gathering around, sensing another opportunity to roast Sukuna.
“What’s the matter, Sukuna? Did she turn you down for a study date?” Todo asked, laughing.
Sukuna sighed. “We’re meeting at the library.”
Gojo’s grin widened. “Oh, the library! How romantic. Did she at least agree to sit next to you?”
The guys burst into laughter, and Sukuna couldn’t help but smile despite himself. “You’re all idiots.”
Gojo clapped Sukuna on the back. “Come on, man. You’ve got to step up your game. Maybe try actually talking to her instead of just staring like a creep.”
Geto nodded, still chuckling. “Yeah, maybe bring her a coffee or something. Girls like that, right?”
Sukuna smirked, shaking his head. “Whatever, guys. You’ll see. I’ve got this.”
Gojo leaned in, lowering his voice but making sure everyone could still hear. “You know, if you actually manage to pull this off, I’ll be impressed. But until then, you’re just the guy who got turned down for a library date.”
The group dissolved into laughter again, and Sukuna couldn’t help but laugh along. It was all in good fun, but he felt a renewed determination. He was going to win this bet, not just for the money, but to prove he could do it.
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all-purpose-dish-soap · 4 months
Note
do you have a masterlist?
i do now 👉👉
👇
nsfw content is marked per post.
everything mine | desktop only: everything mine but chronological
stories
snippets
everything Gaz
everything Soap
everything Ghost
everything Price
everything multi-141 and poly 141
everything KorTac
asks
tag games/ask games
---by series---
pick up lines
at Gaz: looking good.
at Soap: do you have a mirror in your pants? because i can see myself in them.
at Soap: what’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? you can’t hear an enzyme.
at Soap: do you like magic? because I’ve got a rabbit and a wand we can use.
^ follow-up: i think you broke me. / would you rather i broke your bed instead?
gym partner Gaz
01: doing push-ups with Gaz
02: distracting Gaz as he’s counting reps
03: teasing your gym buddy Gaz a little too much
04: Gaz eating you out in the showers
05: Gaz finally railing you in the showers
snippet: Gaz taking every horny excuse to spar with you
snippet: lowkey obsessive
messy sexual tension Gaz
01: Gaz making things sexual on purpose
02: Gaz being jealous
03: Gaz getting your lewd selfie
04: …
soft dom gaz (wholesome route)
falling into bed with soft dom Gaz
waking up next to soft dom Gaz
soft dom gaz (toxic route)
01: flirting with Gaz on the job
02: spreading rumors about dating Gaz
03: spreading rumors about dating Gaz, part 2
snippet: you like it when Gaz bullies you
snippet: Gaz isn’t gonna fix you <3
snippet: Gaz “savior complex” Garrick
TF-141 and free use medic reader
free use + rough sex + group sex
Soap is pissed
Ghost and Gaz protective over you
Soap soulmate au
part 01
part 02
part 03
part 04
part 05
part 06
part 07
part 08
part 09
part 10
part 11
part 12
mer au (human reader)
01: shark mermen Gaz and Soap
02: shark mermen Gaz and Soap get too curious
03: ...
snippet: why Gaz and Soap act like that (don't trust them)
snippet: teasing you about how you swim
mer au (remora mer reader)
shark merman Price and remora mermaid reader
snippet: mer Price takes you back to his home reef to meet the rest of shark mer 141
snippet: remora reader brain dump
snippet: trying to groom shark mer Ghost
snippet: shark cocks??
snippet: shark mer 141’s sizes and tails
snippet: Soap chasing you down and indulging his baser instincts with you
^ follow up snippet: Soap using you as a sex toy
shark mer Ghost tolerating remora mer reader
shark mer Ghost tolerating remora mer reader, part 2
snippet: Price's strict routine with remora mer reader
snippet: Price is a territorial bastard
snippet: meeting diver Alex (+ Price is a territorial bastard)
snippet: lionfish mer enters joins the game
snippet: second remora joins the game + ideas for Laswell, Farah, and Graves
post-apocalypse au masterlist
---misc by character---
Soap
“And why would a medic need a call sign?”
Soap is a munch, but it’s not for your benefit
meeting best friend Soap at the airport (hurt/comfort)
Gaz
Gaz plays tank; you play healer
snippet: Gaz bites you bites you bites you bites y
Price
smutty collab: Price impolitely asking for your attention
Nikto
Nikto and honeypot reader (a la red sparrow)
Keegan
snippet: let me divorce you
snippet: ex-husband keegan
Captain MacTavish
treating you like an unruly kitten
^ soft counterpart: when you keep fighting him anyway
multi
snippet: thinkin about a reader who is a people-pleaser in bed (with TF141)
snippet: people-pleaser reader + Horangi (+ KorTac)
snippet: TF141’s reactions to “can you get this thing off the top shelf for me?”
snippet: TF141’s reactions to “want me to paint your nails?”
snippet: topping Gaz and Ghost
^ follow up snippet: biting Gaz and Ghost
snippet: TF141’s favorite sexy clothes on you
snippet: TF141 protecting you because you’re their asset
snippet: a courtly love au, but unhinged
snippet: TF141 with a Japanese/bilingual reader
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tojisun · 5 months
Text
!! nsfw; threesome (the sex doesn’t happen tho LOL); shifting povs; sorta pt 02 of this
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"do you feel nervous when i stare?" he asks.
it is a soft question, rumbled from the base of his throat tentatively as though not to spook you. still it makes you flinch, body locking on the bed as you shift your anxious eyes towards him.
john, he said when he introduced himself to you. call me john.
you were so enamoured at finally seeing him—you traced the way the skin around his eyes were wrinkled in his smile, or how the careful rise of his lips were hidden behind the tufts of his beard. you couldn’t even contain the bubbling feeling pooling in your heart, excitement and nervousness mixing in miasmic waves because there he was, just as kind as simon told you he would be. just as careful.
simon promised you that the most, after all.
("cap'n's soft," he murmured as he held your hand, his thumb swiping along the ridges of your knuckles. "he tries to deny it but we've all seen how he indulges."
he turned to you then, expression unreadable even in the absence of his mask. simon studied your face, searching for something, until he stopped—you wondered then if he found whatever it was he had been looking for—and brushed his knuckle against your cheek instead.
"y’ve got nothin’ to worry about." he met your gaze again. "he’d love you just as much.")
you never once doubted him, of course, but you’ve only ever been with simon. only ever had to be conscious of his gaze, only ever had to work for his desire—not that you needed to do much, or so simon tells you. 
you don’t know how to exist for someone that isn’t simon and his attentiveness—burning in the way he bears down onto you, pressing himself against your tender parts to devour your gasps and your whimpers. 
you don’t know how to be desirable for someone that isn’t simon.
but—
john looks at you like you’ve ignited the same fire that burns within simon’s eyes. it’s all so feverish, rippling in magnitudes, until the slow trickle engulfs you whole. it makes you squirm, feeling so constrained within your own body, like you need to be doing something more than sitting before john like a pretty prize.
too caught up in your thoughts, you didn’t even notice the familiar bearing presence beside you until a rough hand pinches your chin to make your head tilt up. you bite down on a choked gurgle of your surprise, trying your best not to react, but your efforts don’t matter much, anyway. not when trained eyes pick up at the tremors of your hands and at the way your breaths pass through in quiet wheezes.
simon locked gazes with his captain from the top of your head, but john only looks at him with the same small smile, the one that always spoke of how pleased he is. it makes simon turn to you, his own body thrumming with the muted press of his desires. 
“won’t you answer him, love?” he croons, pulling you from the depths of your thoughts—see, captain? aren’t i good?—and watches with nothing short of pride as you nod.
john devours the sight you and simon make with anticipation, pretending that his cock isn’t heavy from where it’s pressed on the inside of his thigh. 
he doesn’t even know how long he’s waited for this day; for the time when he finally gets you and simon both. all he knew was that the wait was torturous, tipping his desperation into its ragged course, forcing him to suppress his wants by burning through work with wild ferocity. not even his fist had been enough on the days when the need was yowling from his jowls. 
so when simon had finally stumbled into his office, his own body poised like a taut string, john realized what it was that he came to price for. 
he felt like a rabid dog that was told that he could bite; that he could sink his fangs into the soft parts of the flesh he caved so that he may feast. 
“yes,” you finally murmur, beautiful in your bashfulness, answering his question—do you feel nervous when i stare?—with honesty.
“y’r just.” you pause to lick at your lips. “y’r just so much more than what i thought.”
“oh?” john asks, intrigued. “and you don’t like that?”
“i do.”
simon and john watch as you clench your hands into fists, eyes ducking down again in your shyness. the tension is building, amping up heatedly, and they wonder if you’re even aware of what you do to them.
“i just don’t know how you’d like me.”
such a soft sentiment—you worry about how john would like you as if you haven’t been the fuel of his carnal dreams. as if he hadn’t stayed awake at night, holding himself in his fist as he imagined how you would sound when he’s taking you; how you would look when you’re at the precipice of your pleasure. would you cry? would you whimper? would you hold onto him as though that would ground you from the apex of your euphoria?
don’t you know? he’s saved every video that simon sent to him?
“y’ve got nothin’ to worry about, doll,” john grunts as he leans back against his seat.
he pats his lap. “c’mere an’ i’ll show you what you do to me.”
you clamber to your feet, stumbling over in your wobbling excitement. it’s endearing, how you’re just as much desperate for him as he is to you.
john tilts his head just enough to meet simon’s eyes, mirth building at ghost’s obedience. he’s been silent, watching, devouring the way you and john gravitated towards each other like a man starved. john knows what he must be waiting for.
he hums to himself as hooks his arm around your waist and pulls you to his lap, his other hand rising to cup at your cheek, desperate to touch you every way he can. still, there’s something else he wants to do. so he twists you just enough that your head is resting on his shoulder and tipped to the lone body on the bed with interest.
(simon knew it. you look absolutely heart-shattering with his captain.)
“you too boy,” john barks out, his heart lurching at simon’s full-body tremble. “don’t you want y’r reward?”
your fists grip the scruff of john’s shirt and he wonders, so choked up with his anticipation, if you haven’t seen simon like this. if simon was always the dominant one between you two; the one who always demanded things off you.
(oh but you have seen simon in his submission. gods, you have. and he was so beautiful then, whining to you as he humped his cock into the warm press of your walls, his face nuzzling the column of your neck as though that would muffle his pleasured hymns.
as though you couldn’t feel just how beautiful your perfect love is in the throes of his bliss, trembling, mewling. splintering, unable to force himself back into the mask of his indifference.)
you watch as simon rouses from the bed, slow like he is postured for his own hunt. it makes you ache, unable to discern exactly why all of you fit with each other, just that you do. you’re not even torn between who to bend over to—john had made sure you and simon knew it was him who will call the shots.
simon’s hand falls on the valley of your spine, caressing you, before he pitches forward, hovering before john.
it’s john who gives him the kiss—the reward, as sweet as eden.
and right there, as they lose themselves, you know nothing else could ever be as erotic as this.
me too, you want to say, i want one too. but they’re already shifting, muscles rippling, as they turn to you—a prey caught in between.
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zosanbrainrot · 1 month
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part 05!!
01 02 03 04 05 06
It's been a while since I last worked on this comic, I've been busy
☘️🦋☀️ experiencing summer ☀️🦋☘️
which was and still is a lot of fun!
ANYHOW, I feel like when I stop drawing for a while it usually does me good, like, I'm very happy with my art quality in these panels and I didn't change much since the first draft (I still overthink some of the decisions but not as much as with the last part lmao).
It's like when in games you have a separate bar for running/stamina and it can only fill back up fully once you go slow and just walk for a while, but if you insist on running all the time it's never really at full capacity. Can't think of a better analogy, but lmk if you feel the same!
One of the things I maybe would have done differently is to have Yonji take the spear out of Zoro's shoulder, maybe?? It was so good when I first saw people draw a parallel between Zoro and Yonji because of their hair color and that maybe Sanji subconsciously has thought about this too ever since he and Zoro met. Not a meaningful thing for their relationship but more of an offhand thought that would surface from time to time. Him carrying the memories of his childhood all the time with him.
But! The upside of me not picking Yonji is that both Ichiji and Niji have the goggles so without their eyes visible they feel kinda distant emotionally and that works both bcs of who they are and also bcs the comic is not about them, in that panel where Niji has Sanji in a headlock the emotional focus is solely on Sanji.
And also Yonji just turned out so good there that I didn't wanna go back and change him lmao
I admit, when I was coming up with the plot of this comic in a frenzy right after watching these eps I kinda forgot about Nami slapping Sanji lmao I only recently remembered :' ) Don't wanna dwell on it too much though.
This part feels maybe more distant overall - I don't have any closeup shots (except the spear!) and the last moment you see Sanji's face fully is when he looks at Zoro. Zoro who got hurt. Again. Because of him.
I can't remember what I'd been thinking while boarding these, it'd been mostly vibes based, but I think the function of this part ended up being about showing a sequence of events rather than focusing on the emotions. It's pushing the plot forward and I think if I added closeups to the Vinsmokes then it'd be derailing a bit, again, it's not about them.
On the other hand it also works for Sanji shutting his emotions off, once his brothers and Judge enter the scene he has no leeway, he can't let his true feelings show. He's already shown too much. And what did it lead to? Everyone getting even more hurt. He let himself slip up during his fight with Zoro and Judge quickly put him back in his place. As long as the Strawhats were on the island they weren't truly safe. So he turns on his heel and walks back to the carriage, not looking back, he can only hope that Zoro's gonna pull through. He always does, he's been through worse, right? Right? They've never fought like this before though... The burn marks will take long to heal... And Luffy, has he woken up yet? No, no, no, he can't look back. And Nami...
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So that's that! I got part 06 half finished already, so that should be out soon <333
as a bonus thing - some of the refs I've used for this part
3D models posed in Magicposer!
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skzdarlings · 2 years
Text
02. sharing a bed series ; skz ; lee know
masterlist.
sharing a bed series part 2/8. because it’s the cheesiest most classic trope and it’s FUN.
-
pairing: lee know/reader content info: sexual content. friends2lovers, sharing a bed trope. reader&minho had an argument. reader gets pussy eaten. minho likes to tease.
inspired by the cinematic masterpiece known to the world as lee know log 9, aka that vlog where minho went camping and i never recovered.
-
There is a perpetual hum around the campsite, heaters and lamps and cookers buzzing through the night, plus the rain has started coming down harder.  Its restless patter over the tarp of the luxury tent is more a nuisance than relaxing. 
The noise is not why you are still awake.   Your insomnia is the cause of good old-fashioned guilt. 
You and Minho lost your reservation thanks to some traffic delays and the campsite only had single-bed tents available by the time you arrived.  You have been sharing a bed all weekend, but right now you are alone.  Minho stormed out an hour ago, claiming he needed a walk to clear his head after your argument.
The argument you started. 
All weekend, you’ve been testing Minho’s seemingly infallible patience.  Minho might joke around sharply, but he’s a secret softy and it’s hard to get him genuinely angry.  You could feel yourself being a ridiculous ass but, like everything else of late, it felt out of control.  You were like a third party watching your own stupid argument, unable to stop yourself and unable to help him.  He was the mature one, leaving to find some space.
Even if it was after calling you ridiculous and uptight.      
You didn’t cry.  You didn’t let yourself cry.  Maybe you can’t control anything else, but you can control that. 
Now, you just lay in bed and listen to the rain.  You can’t sleep anyway, so you leave the lights on for Minho.   The rain is coming down pretty hard.  You hope he gets back soon.   Much as you don’t want to face him, you are worried about him. 
As if summoned by your thoughts, the tent opens and Minho stomps inside.  He is wearing a backwards hat and a hoodie, neither of which did much to protect him from the downpour.  You look over your shoulder at him, watching him shake himself out.   The wet hat comes off and hits the ground with a slap, the hoodie following.  It leaves him shivering in a t-shirt and shorts, his jaw clenched. 
He turns abruptly, looking right at you.  There is so much intensity in his gaze as he stares at you, slicking his wet hair back.   An unbidden spark of heat bursts inside you.   I want him to look at me like that when he fucks me, you think.  The thought makes you whip away to stare at the white tent wall.  Your heart pounds.   That pounding intensifies when Minho struts up to bed, crossing the space in a few quick strides.  You don’t dare turn around, clutching the blankets and staring at the wall.
He turns off the lights.  Then you hear him leave, disappearing into the small bathroom joined to your tent. 
You exhale.  It takes a while to come down from the burst of adrenaline, but it has mostly dwindled by the time Minho returns.  You hear him moving about in the dark.  You lay straight as a board, your back to him. 
You stare through the dark at nothing.  You know you should apologize for earlier but you can’t bring yourself to speak.   You just breathe. 
Minho climbs into the bed.  It dips under his weight and you feel a flood of warmth from his company.  He has toweled himself dry and changed into sweatpants and a dry t-shirt.  He smells fresh and clean, and just a little woodsy. The bed is not very big so he bumps you as he lays down.  It makes your heart race again, which just makes you cringe. 
The rain has slowed.  It still patters against the roof of the tent, but gently.  
The quiet makes the silence between you even more tense.  It feels heavier than the blankets, dense and suffocating.   You swallow. 
The argument was your fault.  Everything that went wrong this weekend was your fault.  You’ve been on edge and quick to overreaction, uncharacteristic to your usual composure.  You could tell it was worrying Minho but he has never been the type to pry.  No, he waits until he is asked, which would be great if you knew how to ask.  Hug me, hold me, help me.   You don’t know how to ask for the things you want.   So you just continued to spiral, taking it out on him.  
It should be you turning around, you facing him, you apologizing, but it’s Minho who rolls over.  You freeze when he wraps his arms around you and hugs you tight from behind.   He doesn’t quite kiss your shoulder, but he presses his face there for a second.  Wisps of his dyed blonde hair tickle your face.  You can imagine his eyes closing when he sighs. 
“I’m sorry,” he says.  “I shouldn’t have said that shit.  I don’t even know why we were fighting.  Just call it my fault, okay?  I shouldn’t have taken a city girl camping.”   
He is trying to joke with you.  His friendliness is what gets you.  Even after everything, he is still so good to you.   
You put a hand over your mouth, trying to stifle the sound when you start crying.  It’s a useless effort because your shoulders shake and Minho can feel it.  Resigned to your pitiful state, you let your gasps shudder out of you. 
“Hey, hey,” he says, rolling you onto your back.  He wipes his thumbs over your wet cheeks, staring down at you with his brow furrowed in confusion.  “I was just kidding.  I’m sorry.  Take a free slap.”  He grabs your hand and lightly taps his own cheek with it. 
It does make you laugh, but it’s a watery sound, rippling through your tears. 
“Minho,” you say miserably, “I lost my job.” 
Understanding fills his expression.  You can’t bear to look at him, so you roll towards him to hide your face in his chest.   He lets you, wrapping an arm around you and rubbing your back as you make a blubbery mess on his shirt.   You tell him the whole story, about the promotion you lost to someone else, about the sudden downsizing and subsequent firing.   You are someone who functions with meticulous planning so your life being upended sent you hurtling into an unfamiliar state of panic.  
“That’s why I went out alone the other night,” you say.  Your tears have slowed to hiccups by now.  “I know it was stupid and it made you mad.  I just felt like I was gonna explode.” 
Hopping bars and picking up random men is very out of wont for you.   That’s why you did it.  Minho was less than pleased when he found out you went wandering around downtown at night, inebriated and alone.   His scolding was reasonable but you were beyond reason.
He goes stiff when you mention it now, though he doesn’t stop rubbing your back. 
“I wasn’t mad,” he says after a minute.  “I was just worried.  And…”
You peek up at him.  He sighs and groans and yells all at once, an amazing feat of sound, throwing his head back so it thumps hard against the headboard. 
“I was jealous,” he says bitterly. 
“Jealous,” you say.  “Of me?”  
“Yes.”  He gives you a very sarcastic look.   “I wished it was me in that little black dress going out and—no.  Obviously not of you.  Why do you always torture me like this?   Go cry on the floor.”  He jostles you but jokingly, still holding you against him. 
You laugh a little, resting your head on his shoulder.  Your head feels fuzzy and you don’t think it’s from crying.  Minho just admitted he was jealous of you going out with some other guy.   It feels like your heart is doing circus tricks. 
“There was nothing to be jealous of anyway,” you say softly.  “We didn’t do anything.  He insisted he was, um, really good with, uh, his mouth, you know, but then, like, the more he insisted, um, you know me, I started thinking too hard and, um, he couldn’t make me, well…”
“Keep stammering.  It makes me feel less embarrassed about myself.”   
“Minho.”  You slap his chest.  His laugh is more of a maniacal cackle, his demeanour having shifted back to glee at your admission.   You lift your head to look at him, biting your lip, noticing how his eyes go to your mouth.  “He wound up leaving before it could go farther,” you say, your words startling him into meeting your gaze.  You know it’s a petty blow, but you can’t help but admit, “He said I was too uptight and left.”
Minho’s whole face scrunches up like he just got punched in the gut.   
“No,” he says.  “No.   You’re just saying that to bully me.  I didn’t call you the same thing as that idiot.”   
“It’s okay,” you say. 
“No.” He groans again, closing his eyes and kicking his feet.  “Ahhhhhhh.  I should be shot!”  
You are laughing properly now, clinging to him as he squirms in horror.          
“I’m sorry,” you say.  “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”
“Oh really?”  He cocks an eyebrow at you, his mouth a grim line. 
“Well.”  You burst into laughter all over again.  “Maybe just a little!” 
He laughs hard at that, shaking his head, but still retaliates by tickling you.  Your laughter turns hysterical, peels of giggles as he pokes every ticklish inch of skin. 
“Minhoooo,” you whine to no avail.  He just grins and continues his attack. 
Your wriggling pushes the blankets off the bed.  You try and whack him with a pillow so that hits the floor too.  Soon it is just you and Minho and some dishevelled bedsheets, you on your back with him leaning over you.   You are both out of breath, both smiling.  His hands are by your head, cradling you under him, while yours are on his chest as if preparing to push. 
The room feels quiet, the silence again tense.  But this tension is not rife with the same uncertainty as before.   It is not guilt or shame, but a longing that comes from the whispered confession that he was jealous of the last man in your bed, the simple reality that he is sharing your bed right now.     
You do not push him away.  You hook your fingers in the collar of his shirt and pull.  His elbows bend as he swoops down, meeting your raised head.  He kisses you, deep and hot and slow, gently pressing your head back into the plush bed.  Your squirming is very different now, legs opening to make room for him to settle between them.  He feels so good on top of you, the feeling of his strong thighs between your legs, of his chest under your hands, wisps of hair brushing your face as he kisses and kisses and kisses you. 
The kiss ends when you are simply too breathless to continue.  He rests his forehead against yours, breathing hard. 
“Wow,” you say softly.  You look at him.  His dark eyes are often severe in a playful way and right now they are intense, seductive, and it isn’t a joke.   You touch his bottom lip, holding his gaze while he kisses the tips of your fingers.   “Just so you know, that kiss was way better than everything that happened the other night.”
He grins at that. 
“Oh,” he says.  “Really?” 
“Yeah.”  You watch him kiss your fingers again, then your palm.  He looks at you as he dips a little lower, kissing the inside of your wrist.  You are hypnotized by the heat of his dark stare, so you speak without thinking much.  “Everything you do turns me on, though,” you say.  “Even earlier, when you were crushing that garlic with the knife—”
His seduction breaks with a little laugh and he raises both eyebrows. 
“Garlic?” he asks.  “The garlic got you hot?”
“Don’t make fun of me,” you say, pouting.  “You already made me cry once tonight…”
“Oh, is that what happened?” he says.  “Sure, okay, let’s play.  I made you cry.   I should make it up to you?”
“Mhm…”
“Well then.”  He leans in close to kiss you but he lingers for a torturously long time, just hovering above your lips.   Then he abruptly pulls away.  He kneels upright and sits back on his heels.   
Confused, you push yourself up on your elbows.   He is looking around the room and tapping his chin thoughtfully.
“What is it?” you ask.   
“Hmm?”  He looks at you, tilting his head as if you are the confusing one.  “What?  I’m just looking for some garlic, since you’re into that for some reason.  Give me a minute to remember where I put it.”  
“Ahhh, I hate you!”  You flop back down, covering your face with your hands. 
Minho, diabolical creature that he is, throws back his head and laughs.  He tries to pry your hands off your face but you stubbornly hold on.  He sighs with theatrical exasperation and gives up.  
You hear the rustle of fabric.  Curious, you peek between your fingers.  Minho is staring down at you with a single eyebrow cocked, a smug little smirk tugging at his lips.  That smirk grows as he reaches back, flexing his arms before grabbing the back of his t-shirt and pulling.  Your hands fall away from your face completely, your eyes drinking in the gradual reveal of skin as he pulls his shirt off.   It lands somewhere on the floor, forgotten. 
“Okay,” he says, nodding curtly.  “Your turn.”  He makes a come-hither motion with two fingers.  “Come on.  Hurry up.” 
Your brain has short-circuited.  It takes a second to make sense of his request and another minute to actually do it.  You sit up long enough to peel your shirt off, then flop back down where you continue to stare at him.   You are checking each other out, looking up and down.   Your eyes goes over his bare chest and down, your mouth falling open. 
You breath catches when he cups his hardening dick through his sweatpants, rubbing the heel of his hand there. 
You meet his gaze, already breathing harder.
“What else then?” he says, still stroking himself through his clothes as he looks at you. 
“Uh, ah, erm, hm—”
“You said everything I do turns you on.”  He falls forward and catches himself on both hands, so suddenly you gasp.   Once again his arms cage you in, his face close to yours.  His hips come down heavy between your legs, his dick hard where it presses intimately against you.  “So,” he says.  “What else then?” 
“Oh.”  You are staring at his mouth, gaze heavy-lidded when he rocks against you.  “Um.  Well.  Sometimes when you’re driving in reverse and you put your hand on my headrest, it kinda—” 
Once again, his seduction attempt is thwarted when he can’t help but laugh.  He drops his head, laughing harder when you lightly smack him.    
“Stop asking if you’re just gonna laugh!” you say, even while laughing too. 
“Okay,” he says.  “Garlic and driving in reverse.  I’m learning so much.” 
“I’m gonna kill you.” 
“That would be very rude,” he says.  “Especially since I’m about to go down on you.” 
“You—wha—ohhh—”
You grab his head instinctively, fingers sinking into the natural dark roots of his dyed hair, just as he dips down to press kisses on your chest.  You arch under him as his mouth finds every sensitive spot, licking sweetly and biting meanly, as to be expected from Minho.  By the time he reaches the waistband of your shorts, you are panting and wriggling and clawing at him desperately.   
You don’t even have time to overthink.  The world and all its troubles fall away for the time being.  
You will figure things out.  You always do.  Right now, you let yourself lose control.   You usually hate the feeling, but in this moment you don’t mind at all, because Minho has you.   You trust him completely.  Surrender is easy.   
The rest of your clothes join the messy heap on the floor.  He runs his hand smoothly along the inside of your thigh before guiding it over his shoulder.   He kisses there, then kisses you excruciatingly chastely between your legs.  When you try and move, he keeps you steady, the sturdy hands that captivated you now holding you firmly in place. 
When he finally stops torturing you, he gives you everything at once: a long, hot lick right up your centre.  Again, your fingers find his hair.  He doesn’t complain or lose focus even though you are scratching at him a bit ferociously.  Ever a skilled worker, he stays on task.  It is so deft and swift and thorough; you get so wet and slippery that you can feel it running it down your skin.  
When you get close, your hips lift but he brings you back.  He looks up between your thighs as he brings you over the edge.  Your legs shake and your eyes close and you bite your hand just a little, trying not to be too noisy in the middle of the night at a campsite. 
He climbs back up when finished, looking like a very smug feline as he wipes his face on the back of his hand.   
“On a scale of garlic to driving in reverse—” he starts. 
You playfully cuff the side of his head. 
“That good?” he continues to tease. 
You roll your eyes but smile.   You think it is a seductive smile, but you do feel a little wrecked.   Still, you stay on task too, sliding your hand down his chest, down, down, down and—
“Oh,” you say.  You look down at the same time as him.  A noticeable wet stain is on the front of his sweatpants.  “You already—”
He flops down beside you and sighs.
“Sorry,” he says.  “You weren’t the only one amazed with my sexy performance.” 
“That’s okay,” you say with a laugh.  You roll over to rest your head on his chest.  His arm comes down around you, hand running down your naked back.  You giggle when he cups and squeezes your ass.  You dance your fingers down his pants to the wet spot where he came.  “I think it’s kinda hot, actually.” 
Minho came from eating you out.  Of course you think it’s hot. 
And of course he has to be Minho about it. 
“Okay,” he says.  “Garlic. Driving in reverse.  Premature ejaculation.  Uptight was definitely the wrong word.  I honestly don’t know if I can keep up with a freak like you—”
“Ugh!”  You roll away and turn your back to him, mostly to hide the fact you are laughing at his stupid joke. 
He follows you, wrapping his arms around you and hugging you from behind.  This time he kisses your shoulder properly, once, twice, three times.  All the way up your neck to your ear and just behind it. 
“You’re lucky I like you so much,” you whisper. 
“I like you too,” he whispers back, kissing your shoulder again. 
You smile and close your eyes, listening to the rain and letting yourself snuggle safely in his arms. 
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2hightocare · 5 months
Text
DOWN BAD! 02
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Synopsis: Despite undeniable chemistry, your guys’ relationship remains undefined, caught between playful teasing to deeper, unspoken longing.
Pairings: bad boy! jungkook x fem! reader
Genre: friends to lovers. college au. slowburn!
Warnings: angst, drug use, profanity, explicit content, talks about abusive home, fighting, arguing, screaming, crying, flashbacks, oc and jk are nineteen (freshmen’s in uni) mentions of death, daddy/mommy issues.
a/n: GOSHHHHHHH! pray for my girl yn😓😓 she’s down bad and she fr ain’t getting up. Left you guys on a cliffhanger hehe. enjoy🤍🤍
01! playlist
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"What do you want?" He says, the smallest glint of amusement on his face has Jungkook's stomach recoiling.
"The regular," Jungkook found himself saying, reaching into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. "I don't have opioids. My supplier said there was a shortage—want to try some new shit?" Yoongi says as he balances his cigarette on his lips, looking into a cabin.
"You've tried snow before, right?" He looks up at Jungkook who stands there. "No, I told you l don't fuck with that shit," Jungkook shakes his head, putting his wallet back into the pocket of his jeans.
"It's on me, just try it," Yoongi hands Jungkook a small bag filled with white powder. "Just snort it and let it do its thing, boy," Yoongi chuckles as he watches Jungkook look down at the drug in his palm. "It won't kill you if that's what you're thinking," he continues, taking a drag from his cigarette before exhaling.
Jungkook's mind immediately goes to you as the words leave Yoongi's mouth.
“You’re going to kill yourself,” you scream, your hands pulling on your hair as Jungkook watches silently—his heart breaking as he sees the tear fall from your eye. Whatever he wants to say stays stuck in his throat.
“I’ll be fine,” Jungkook finds himself muttering, a loud scoff heard from you as you hold his face in your hands, making him look up at you. “Tell me what’s wrong, fuck! I’ll fix it, just tell me,” you cry out. Jungkook watches as your legs give out and you drop to the floor in front of him.
Jungkook feels his stomach drop, his heartbeat stops, and his mind goes blank. He wants to drop to his knees and beg you to not care and run away as far as you can from him, but the selfish part of him wants you to stay.
“Baby,” Jungkook slurs, the drugs in his system not letting him speak normally. “I’m so fucking sorry,” he apologizes again for the hundredth time in the past few days. Jungkook drops beside you, removing your hands from your face as another sob racks through your body. Your eyes red and puffy as tears continue to cascade down.
Jungkook knows nothing about love, but there’s you. The highlight of his days, the only reason he even wants to wake up in the morning.
He hates how he drags you along with him—in every bad decision he makes. Jungkook’s life hasn’t been easy; an abusive household isn’t something anybody wants, but he’s one of the unlucky ones who got it. He knows he’s a legal adult and can move out, but his feet stay glued inside that house because of her, his mom.
God. Jungkook has seen everything fucked up in the piece of shit he calls his house. The blows his mom would take from the man whose blood Jungkook carries. He wasn’t a father to him, that’s for sure. Screams and fighting are the only things his house is filled with. He never heard a bedtime story or got a good night hug. The hug was replaced by a hit on the cheek, jaw, face—or anywhere his dad could get his hands on.
Jungkook blames his dad for the way he is, and every time he looks at you, he imagines the what ifs. Jungkook has done everything he could do to push you away, but instead of leaving, you stayed. It’s scared the shit out of him.
He’s in love with you. Jungkook has never felt anything more in his life than his love for you—it’s almost pathetic how much you make him feel. If your love were a drug, Jungkook would do it every day, every hour, and every minute instead of all the shit he put in his system to forget.
Your love is pure and innocent—everything that Jungkook isn’t. Every time he looks at you, he’s afraid he will break you. He wishes you could realize how unfixable he is and leave—but instead, you’re on your knees begging for him to be better.
How badly did he want to be better; so he could be with you.
“Stop saying sorry and stop doing it, fuck,” you sob, your fist holding onto his hoodie—your knuckles turning white from fear that if you let him go, he’ll vanish.
“You’re better than this. I know you are,” you cry, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, wetting his hoodie with your tears. “Please stop, you could die.” you beg desperately, like a child would.
“Shh,” he comforts, his hand rubbing your back as you sob into him, “I’m sorry.”
As Jungkook walked, the guilt inside him consumed him more and more. The hurt expression on your face after he disrespected you remained etched in his mind, feeling like someone was poking his heart with a needle with each step he took.
Similarly, the weight of the small bag in the pocket of his sweater sent a sense of panic through his body. He hadn’t planned on taking it, but the moment it was placed in his hand, he couldn’t bring himself to give it back. Instead, he bit his tongue and shoved it into his pocket.
His heart sank as an image flashed in his mind of what your reaction would be if you ever found out. With a shake of his head, he buried the thought deep within him before reaching the main door of his house.
Jungkook’s hand trembles as he holds onto the doorknob. He had nowhere else to go, it was either yours or this. He felt his throat close up as his mind went back to you, his heart screaming for you. To turn around and run back to you—like always, his safe space. The only place where he could let his guard down.
The aching sensation in his chest reminded him of the first time he told you about his dad. You were both seventeen—laying on the carpet of your room, staring up at the ceiling. The broken expression on your face after he confided in you made him feel worse than any hit he had ever taken.
“Did you seriously get into another fight?” you groaned as you examined his face, the purple and blue marks beginning to form twisting your stomach in knots. “Who was it this time?” you frowned, your hand reaching out to touch his bruised cheek.
“Didn’t fight anyone. I actually hit myself with the car door,” the lie flowed smoothly out of his mouth.
“A door?” You raised an eyebrow, not fully believing him. Jungkook had a tendency to throw the first punch after someone lightly touched him—he had more suspensions and run ins with the police than anyone could count. Every time you saw him, there was another bruise decorating his skin, always brushed off like it was no big deal.
“Who was it?” You tried again, your face turning to him.
Jungkook's eyes remained locked with the glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling. “I can’t tell you,” he mumbled softly into the darkness.
“Why not? Is it a secret?” You quipped, scooting closer to his side—your finger tracing his features as he let out a deep breath. “It’s a really big secret,” he hushed, to which you only nodded eagerly.
“I can keep a secret,” you smiled, your heart beating fast in your chest as you noticed the proximity between you two. You raised a pinky into the air. “Pinky promise,” you bit your lip anxiously, watching him interlock his pinky with yours. “Okay, now tell me.”
“My dad,” he said, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“What?” You stuttered out, hoping you had heard him wrong.
“My dad, he's abusive,” he restated. The color drained from your face, and Jungkook saw it.
Sadness written all over your face. Words didn’t come out when you opened your mouth; instead, an ugly cry replaced the words.
“That’s why I can’t stand someone’s hands on me,” Jungkook says, his eyes squeezing shut as he tried to escape the pain in his heart. It felt as if he was being kicked and thrown.
“Fuck.. I always touch you,” you bit your lip, trying to contain your sobs. “Your touch is the only touch that doesn’t repulse me, baby. So if you plan on not touching me, don’t,” Jungkook quickly interjected, grabbing your hand and intertwining it with his.
Jungkook loved your touch; your fingers on his skin felt like heaven. It almost confused him how much he looked forward to it—sometimes he found himself initiating it. You were the only exception with such privilege; anyone else who laid a finger on him sent a sense of nausea and shivers down his body.
“I didn’t know. I’m so fucking sorry, baby. Let me help you.. we can tell the police, he deserves to be in jail. Please,” you sobbed, placing your palm on his cheek.
“You think I don’t know he needs to go to jail? For all I know, he should be put on a electric chair,” Jungkook spat out, shoving your hand away from his face.
“And fuck. Yes, my mom knows. She fucking gets hit too,” he rambled, his chest heaving as he tried to look anywhere in your room that wasn’t you, and for the first time, you saw him break down.
As Jungkook crumbled down with a loud sob, his hands cover his face as his shoulders shake as he weeps, you wasted no time dropping to your knees and pulling him into you, whispering reassuring words in his ear.
"She doesn't leave," he cried. "I keep telling her he's going to kill her if she doesn't leave, but she stays." The cracks in his voice mirrored the cracks in your heart as you listened, feeling the weight of his pain, as the double meaning clicks in your head.
"And I can't leave. Who's going to protect her if I'm not there?" he sobbed quietly, his hands tightening around your waist. "I'm scared that if I leave for too long, I'll come back to a house with a dead body in it," he confessed, sending shivers down your spine.
"Baby," you cooed, tears streaming down your cheeks,
"we should tell the police. They'll help you. I promise."
But his response shattered your hopes.
"No," he croaked out, untangling himself from your embrace.
"Listen to me. If you even think about telling a policeman what I just told you, I swear to god yn, I will never fucking forgive you," Jungkook shook, his face contorted with pain and panic.
"I trust you enough to tell you, but I swear if you say anything about this to anyone, we're done. Whatever the fuck we have, it's done. I will never fucking forgive you."
Jungkook pushes the door open, and he’s met with silence. Without thinking twice, he rushes to his mom's room, slamming the door open to be met with her limp body on the bed.
His heart stops beating, and suddenly everything stops—his hand trembles as he makes his way to her. He nudges her once.
“Mom,” Jungkook calls, only to be met with silence.
“Mom,” he tries again. She stirs in her sleep.
“Jungkook?” She croaks, her voice hoarse as she peeks from her lying position. Jungkook's heart picks up again, letting out a sigh of relief.
“Mom, are you okay? What happened?” Jungkook asks, dropping beside her on the bed. His fingers move her dark hair off her face carefully, revealing a bruise on her cheek.
“He hit you again?” Jungkook lets out a growl, his fist tightening beside him.
“I made him mad. It’s not his fault,” she defends, almost automatically making Jungkook scoff. “Mom, that's not an excuse!” He grits his teeth.
“He isn’t a bad man, Jungkook. He's still your father,” she sighs, the look of tiredness clear on her face as she winces when she moves to her side. Jungkook watches dumbfounded.
“You know, you remind me of him,” she shakes out a laugh, the whole sentence feeling like a punch in the stomach for Jungkook. The more he tries to breathe, the more difficult it becomes. “He was just like you, you know? Every time I look at you—it’s like I’m seeing him. He is a good man underneath it all, Jungkook. You have to understand that I could never leave him. I’m in love with him,” she continues, and every word feels like a hit in the gut.
“W-what do you mean.. I’m just like him?” Jungkook stutters, his throat drying up and the familiar feeling of tears picking up in his eyes have him clawing his nails into his palms.
“Do you think when I met your dad, he treated me wrong?” She finally locks eyes with Jungkook. The light in her eyes she once had is now gone, replaced with dull, tired eyes. “He was gentle with me, he was sweet, caring, he was everything to me. He’s still everything to me,” a tear rolls down her cheek, making Jungkook suck in a breath.
“What about me?” Jungkook's voice cracks, the knot in his throat tightening as he watches his mom shake her head.
“Am I not everything to you, Mom?” Another tear falls, followed by more.
“It’s more complicated than you think, Jungkook,” she sighs. Jungkook feels his heart crack into a million pieces as he watches the woman who brought him into this life discard him.
“He’s going to kill you one day,” Jungkook speaks, wiping the tears from his eyes before clearing his voice. “He’s going to kill you, and you’re going to let it happen.”
“He wouldn’t do that to me,” she whispers into the silence.
“He wouldn’t?” A shocked laugh leaves Jungkook's lips as he can’t believe what he just heard. “He fucking wouldn’t? He fucking hits you? Aren’t you fucking scared that one day he throws the wrong punch?” Jungkook shouts, anger taking over.
“Don’t talk to me like that,” she snaps. “I’m your mother, and you don’t get to fucking talk to me like that.”
“Well, you’re a shitty mother. A good mother would put their child first. The only reason I’m still here is because of you!” Jungkook snaps back, his frustration growing stronger as he watches his mom stay motionless.
“I keep coming back because I’m scared he’ll kill you. But apparently, you don’t give a fuck,” he breathes out, his hand tugging on his hair—feeling almost manic at the lack of his mother's reaction.
“Every hit he took on me, you blamed it on me. When all I did was try to protect you. But you always choose him. So fucking next time he comes in through those doors and has his way with you, don’t come running or yelling my name to come and save you,” Jungkook spits out before walking out of the room and shutting the door behind him with a loud bang.
Jungkook's mind kept racing, never shutting up for a moment, allowing him to think. His brain was filled with repetitions of everything his mom just said. The words "he was just like you, you know? Every time I look at you-it's like I'm seeing him" kept getting repeated in his head over and over again without a break.
Screams of his mom asking for him to save her echoed in his brain, the weight of his guilt and the haunting memories that plagued his mind had Jungkook pulling out the small baggie from his sweater, moving to the small desk in his room.
Jungkook dropped the white powder on the surface, making a line. Without hesitation, Jungkook leaned over, pinching one of his nostrils before snorting.
A sharp burning, stinging sensation spread through Jungkook's nose as he sniffed, rubbing off the remaining powder.
Jungkook dropped onto his bed in a star position as he stared at the ceiling, the feeling of numbness taking over his body. His muscles relaxed as the drug entered his bloodstream, sending a sense of euphoria—a warm feeling spread throughout his body, making him groan in pleasure.
And for once, the voices finally stopped.
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It was embarrassing how you found yourself looking for the man you were in love with every corner of the campus. You started with the lockers and hallways, peeking through every classroom, hoping you’d catch a glimpse of the boy who left you standing in your angel costume Saturday night.
You had debated on running after him; the guilt that weighed you down from the slap was intense. Your touch was supposed to be his only gateway, instead, you used it against him to hurt him the same way his dad does. As messed up as his words were, it didn’t compare.
“Have you seen Jungkook?” You ask, poking Dahlia on the shoulder. She turns to look at you, mouth filled with food as she nods without saying anything.
“You have?” Your eyebrow raises as she continues to nod eagerly.
“Y-yeah, he’s ou-outside, in the corner,” Dahlia finally says, swallowing her food. You throw a small ‘thank you’ and rush outside.
As you run to the corner where everybody meets up to smoke, you curse out loud as you trip on the crack of the pavement before changing your pace to walking instead.
Your eyes meet his in an instant as you pass the corner, the lit-up joint hanging from his lips. You look around to see Taehyung and Jimin with worried looks on their faces. As you walk closer to them, Jungkook passes the joint to his friend before crossing his arms in front of him, flexing his muscles. If you weren’t so mad at him, you would find it hot.
“What’s up, pretty,” Taehyung says, trying to break the awkward silence as he takes a hit off the joint before passing it to Jimin, who looks uncomfortable as hell.
“Hey,” you acknowledge them both, giving polite head nods before turning your attention to the boy in the middle, his eyes bloodshot red with a small grin decorating his handsome face.
“What’s so funny?” You snap, crossing your arms in front of you. A loud laugh slips out of his mouth, shocking the boys beside him. “Hi baby,” he says, his eyes dropping low as he moves closer to you. You push him away with a hand on his chest, making him pout.
“Rude,” he playfully scoffs, leaning back onto the wall and reaching for the blunt on Taehyung’s fingers as he raises an eyebrow at you.
“That’s enough,” you say, taking away the joint from Taehyung’s hand as Jungkook was about to reach for it.
“This is our cue to leave. Let’s go,” Taehyung hurries off, pulling on his blonde friends arm, before they both mutter something under their breaths as they disappear around the corner.
“Don’t throw that, it’s some good shit, and I just bought it,” Jungkook chuckles, reaching for it only for you to push him away.
���Alright then,” you pull the rolled-up paper up to your lips and take a drag. Jungkook's face drops, and suddenly nothing is funny. His hand immediately shoots up and yanks the joint out of your mouth before throwing it on the ground and stomping on it.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Jungkook roars, watching you cough loudly as white smoke rushes out of your mouth.
“Fuck, what were you thinking?” He panics, rubbing a hand over your back to coax your coughing fit. Your throat and chest burn as you continue to cough.
“Don’t ever do that shit again, do you hear me? It’s not good for you,” Jungkook sighs, his rough hand drawing circles down your back as you finally calm down.
“So, you agree it’s not good for you?” You say, your voice hoarse from all the coughing. “Let’s not do this right now, yn,” he pulls on your arm as he walks you to the parking lot. “You never want to do anything,” you yank your arm from his grip. Jungkook takes a deep breath, trying his best not to snap at you.
“Just get in the car, baby,” he continues, opening the passenger door for you. Instead, you push him off and slam the door shut.
“You’re high as fuck; you can’t drive, asshole,” you snap, throwing your arms in the air in anger. “And you’re not?” he clenches his teeth. “I took one hit,” you shove a finger in his face.
“Yeah, a big-ass one. Before you know it, you’ll be high, so get in the fucking car or I’ll put you in it myself,” he snaps. “You wouldn’t dare,” you spit out, and before you know it, your ass is in the air as he hauls you over his shoulder.
“I wouldn’t?” Jungkook mutters under his breath as he opens the car door and sits you down on the seat, reaching for the seatbelt and strapping you in. “Where are you taking me?” You roll your eyes as he sits down beside you.
“To your fucking house,” he says, pulling out of the parking lot of the school and driving you home.
The whole car ride is filled with silence; neither of you decides to utter a word. The moment the car stops in front of your house, you hurriedly unbuckle your seatbelt and open your door before sprinting to your door, unlocking it, and disappearing inside. Jungkook almost screams into his hands, wanting to throw a whole tantrum in this car, but he decides otherwise.
With a loud sigh, he turns off the car, turns to the back seat, gets his sweater, and jumps out of the car. He takes the same route he always did when he showed up at your house, climbing himself over the picket fence before climbing the tree next to your window.
The window is opened as you sit on the ground of your room, your knees up to your chest. Jungkook throws his sweater in first before jumping in.
Then his heart dropped, your small hands hold the tiny bag that was in the pocket of his sweater that had fallen out.
“What’s this, Jungkook?” You voice out, and Jungkook doesn’t miss the wavering of your voice as you finally look up at him. His heart might just have been stabbed by your shocked expression, the betrayal and the pain etched in your expressions send a shooting pain in his heart.
“Baby-“
“Don’t fucking baby me! What the fuck is this?” You interrupt him, your hand shaking as you think of every possible drug that could be in the bag. Jungkook didn’t reply; the words suddenly died in his mouth.
“Is this a way of pushing me away?” You ask, tears starting to flow down your cheeks, mixing with your anger and heartbreak.
“Did something happen at home again? Why? Fuck, why?” You cry, a soul-crushing sob that comes out of you, which has Jungkook coming back to his senses. He feels like shit, and that word doesn’t even cover half of what he’s feeling.
“Please tell me why? I’ll do anything. Let me help you, just fucking stop doing this shit, baby.” You cry, pulling his body to yours, wrapping your arms around his waist, crying into his uniform.
“Use me, scream at me, tell me horrible shit if that helps. Just don’t ever touch any drugs, Jungkook. I don’t know what I would do if you died.” You whisper the last words as you sob into his arms, begging for him to stop. “I’m never leaving your side, so get that into your head. If this is your way of pushing me away, it won’t work.” You sob.
And that’s where everything clicks for Jungkook. His mind thinks back to his mom, “You have to understand that I could never leave him. I’m in love with him,” and his heart drops to the ground. All the walls he took so long to build collapse. He was just like his dad—Jungkook wanted to say he wasn’t, but here he was, hurting you, making you sob into his arms, begging for him to change. The same thing his mom does anytime his father would get drunk.
“I’m not good for you,” Jungkook finally speaks, his hands cupping your face. “I’m not good for you.” He repeats, and you shake your head disapprovingly repeatedly. “Stop.” You cry, your tears wetting Jungkook's palms as he repeats the same thing over again.
“You deserve someone so much fucking better, baby,” Jungkook whispers, dropping his forehead to yours. “You deserve so much better than me. I can’t give you anything, baby, besides heartache and pain.” He continues as you repeat ‘no’ over and over again under your breath.
“Please don’t leave me,” you cry, as he untangles himself from you, pushing your hand away gently when you try to reach for him.
“Fuck, Jungkook, don’t leave. Stay the night; we’ll talk about this in the morning.” That was the last thing Jungkook heard as he jumped out of the window and ran to his car, leaving his heart in the hands of the girl crying on the floor, praying for him to be safe.
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