#hey did you know that I'm going to jump off a bridge about it

[modmad]

Hey Mod, I don't know what's going on that hurt you, I feel like I missed something that's happened, but I can tell from what I did see that it didn't just hurt you, but scared you and made you feel a Lot of doubt. I've also seen a lot of messages pouring in with support, and I want to share mine.

I have hypermobile type EDS, fibromyalgia, and a whole bucket's worth of faulty wiring in my brain. And I've always had stories to tell but I never felt I was good enough to share them. If it's because I can't focus enough to get through nanowrimo, or because I can't manage the focus and time towards drawing as a hobby, or the fact that an excessive amount of either for me leads to my hands wanting to shut down. But you? You *inspire* me. Your stories, all the ones I've seen, read, experienced in some way or another, they're so good. And you're open and honest with your fans about your own health, and of course, we support you and always would rather you rest and feel as best you can, instead of pushing out something and working yourself too hard. But all of this is to say that. I think I would have given up on my own stories if I hadn't found you and yours.

I hope whatever is going on sorts itself out, I hope you're able to keep telling your stories. At your own pace, in your own way. I think you deserve to be happy. If there's anything we (your fans, especially those of us too awkward to come off anon, whoops,) can do, to help in some way? Even if it's silly videos or cute cat pictures or whatever it is that could just help you smile. We're here. We love you.

woof. I woke up to so many messages I can't even read them all in one go I'm getting too emotional- I do feel I owe an explanation so I'll explain what happened under the cut but all you guys need to know is I'm okay, I got through it, I love you, and you're so important to me and I'm so grateful for all the messages that have asked me to stay.

tw for suicidal thoughts and all that

yeah so I have the bad morning of all mornings: was introduced to the fact there's this one character (Mr Puzzles) on a very popular youtube that. resembles RGB. incredibly strongly. like. I don't want to link to it just look if you want to. Anyway at the time I thought it had just dropped (seems to have been around for 6 months actually), and having commented on it I immediately got an inbox full of hate mail.

My website, meanwhile, had locked both me and my web designer out of it, and- already in a bad state of mind- I went into full on panic/paranoid spiral of 'they have hacked it, and they are going to delete any proof that I was here before them.' This of course wasn't true, and we have since recalimed control of the site (don't know what happened there but hey. it's fine???? haha. ha.)

On top of this my father has terminal cancer of the pancreas, which is horrible for everyone already but it means that- at some point this year- I am going to be the only person with an active income in my house. I am disabled, do not make a lot of money, and the cost of living is skyrocketing. Combine that with months of Despair at the world right now, with the multiple wars, genocide, corruption and AI and the loss of control any of us have over our IP or lives and I just decided it was time to end it all.

I somehow remembered this was a bad idea to act on immediately (hard during a period of entirely irrational thought) and instead went for a very long walk, crossed the bridge I could have jumped off and during that I came out of the worst of it. I then came back home to so much love online I felt deeply ashamed for ever contemplating it, and I cried a lot. My nose is still puffy and now my feet hurt! lmao

Anyway. Yeah. There's your context. I am not going to stop hoping, making, or living. I am prone to moments of weakness and this was one of the worst of them and I am still here, thanks in a large part to all of you. I might need you in the future to defend me against this, or people who take our ideas, but I hope you know that I will do the same for you. We need each other, and to be there for you I need to be here at all.

also fuck Mr Puzzles

[prettypinkporkchop]

Hear me out, paul x reader, who's super oblivious like paul will flirt with them relentlessly, trying so hard to let them know he likes them, but readers just like "Yeah we just made out bet we do that some times because he's such a good friend🤭" and paul and the rest of the pack are just riping there hair out because omfg

Your phone lights up on the table next to you. Quil is sitting beside you, eating sandwiches Emily made. You knew it's a snap from Paul, but you left it alone for now. The sandwich is too good. Quil side eyes you. "You gonna get that?" He raises an eyebrow. "In a minute." You stuff your mouth more. "You that boy is madly in love with you." He chuckles and looks at Emily for support. "Yes, duh, I'm his imprint. But, it doesn't mean he likes me like that." You roll your eyes. As Paul and Billy Black said, the bond could be anything. "Y/n, don't be dumb. He flirts with you so hard. It's pathetic." He laughs. Emily laughs with him. You ignore them, making Quil open your snap since everyone knows you don't have a pass code. (LOL me). Quil bursts into laughter and shows you what he sent you. You look and see the gif above. He just got off patrol. "He's just letting me know that he's about to be here!" You grab your phone and watch it in awe but try to be chill about it.

Later that evening, you sit in the back of Paul's truck, playing on your phone. Everyone is in the woods on the cliff. The pack is cliff diving. Emily and Kim are wedding planning for Kim and Jared. They sit on chairs right next to you.

You're jumped out of your phone when a pair of hands grab your thighs. Your eyes land on Paul's eyes. He smiles down at you and kisses your cheek. "Hey, pretty lady." He smirks. "Hey, Paul!" You pipe up. He sits next to you on the truck and wraps his arm around you, his hand gripping your waist. "You're driving me crazy today." He whispers in your ear. You giggle and face him. "I don't mean to." You aren't so sure what he means by that.

A couple of days later, you and the pack are playing in the water. It's a bit cold and you didn't pack any extra clothes. It was a last-minute fun thing. You step out of the water, shivering! Sam is sitting in the sand and calls out to Paul. "Lahote! She's cold!" You sit next to Sam and see Paul running up to you. He has the ball in his hand. The pack joins behind him. "Paul! You took the damn ball." Quil calls out. Dropping the ball on the sand, he grabs you and places you on his lap. Your shivering stops as you feel the heat going through you. You lay your head on his chest. "I should get you into my clothes tonight. That'll be hot." Paul laughs. The whole pack groans.

"So, is Paul your boyfriend yet?" Jared looks at you. Embry raises his eyebrow at you. "No, guys! It's not even like that. Boy doesn't like me.' You argue and throw the pen you using at Jared. You realize what you did when you look down at the paper that has the wedding stuff planned out. "Damn it. Jared, could you go-?" He laughs and shakes his head. "You're out of your mind." You groan and lean your head back. "Oop. Here it comes." Embry laughs. You feel a pair of lips on yours. You know who it is, and you grab his face. He pulls back, and you open your eyes. "Hey, my girl." He smiles. "Hey, my friend."

The guys start laughing. Paul pinches the bridge of his nose. "FRIEND ZONED!!!" Embry calls out. Paul starts to walk away. You get confused and walk after him. "Maybe he'll tell her." Jared looks at Embry.

He turns to face you and sighs. "Y/n, you do realize what we have, right?" He grabs your shoulders and looks into your eyes. "Yes. A bond." You reply. "You know everything. Do you... like me?" He asks. You blush and look down. "I do. But I get it if you don't like me back." He groans and grabs your face. "I'm in love with you." He crashes his lips on yours.

[mintkookiess]

I like you, okay?!

A/N: Fluff fluff just fluff after the whole fiasco with "It's Always Been Her." (I need to recover from it)

Anyways, enjoy!

Love,

Mint

POV: Miles comes into your room at 3 am unexpectedly :3

Tags: Miles Morales x reader, slight cussing, LOTS OF FLUFF, sassy annoyed reader, confessions

Word count: 1k

At around 3 am, your phone started dinging, making you groggily grab your phone from the bedside table.

The sudden light from the screen made you wince. "Why the fuck is Miles texting me, it’s too late for this.” You groaned as you clicked on the unread message from him.

Hey Y/n, can I come over real quick?

You clicked your tongue in frustration, placing a hand over your eyes, and rubbed softly in a poor attempt to wake yourself up before looking back down to type the shortest possible reply that you could muster at the time.

Sure.

After hitting the send button, you huffed, chucking your phone across the bed.

As your eyes start to close once more, a soft stealthy tapping at the window makes you open your eyes again, making you grumble from great annoyance at how your best friend always found the worst times to sneak into your bedroom.

Spiderman or not, this was plain fucking torture.

"Are you ready?~" You hear a muffled voice as the window opened wider. "Oh God, please no." You groaned, throwing a pillow over your face. This was your last attempt to just drown him out, but apparently, nothing is going your way tonight. 

You hear the soft padding of feet, accompanied by the familiar thwip sound of his web-shooters, swinging himself into your bedroom with a soft thud and faintly landing on his feet.

"What do you want Miles?" You said with your voice muffled by the pillow. "I know this might be a horrible time to ask, but do you think I could stay for a while?" He asked with a sheepish smile. Miles stood by your bed, awaiting your response.

You nonchalantly wave your hand off at him, eager to just get this over with. "Do whatever you want man." 

Miles' eyes glistened in delight. "You're so kind tonight, what's changed?" His stupid ass question just made you want to throw him out the window.

You didn't respond, too exhausted to even think of a sassy remark. It was literally 3 in the morning, you did not have time for his antics. 

However, he merely chuckled at your lack of a reaction as his lips curved into his usual smile. "Sorry, I'm a bit of a night owl. What with patrol and all that, but I couldn't go without seeing you. Your eyes have been haunting my dreams..." He trailed off.

"Ah yes, it's me being your sleep paralysis demon telling you to stop bothering me at such an ungodly hour." You replied sarcastically, finally removing the pillow from your face as it started to give you a hard time breathing. 

You turned to lay on your side and looked up at him, clearly unimpressed. It was just too late for this shit. 

Miles sees this, and suddenly gets defensive, sitting on the edge of your bed across from you. "Maybe if you weren't always so busy with classes—"

He suddenly stopped talking as he realizes what he said. Miles' face slowly turned red and he was internally hoping to all the gods existing that you wouldn't spot it from the darkness of your room. 

Ah, maybe I should just jump out of the window. He thought as he took a deep breath in, his fingers tapping against his thigh anxiously. "I like you, okay?!" He quickly said, nervously looking up at you. 

"You... WHAT?!" You suddenly yelled, causing you to sit up in shock, mouth agape and eyes widened. What the hell is this guy on about now?! And at 3 FUCKING AM?

"Okay okay, I know. Totally stupid to just jump the gun here but it's so hard to sleep. Sometimes I lose focus when I'm being Spiderman. I spend an awful lot of time thinking about you. Y-You're funny, kind, smart, all the things I like in a person." Miles rambled on, not even daring to stare directly into your eyes for fear of seeing your reaction to his sudden confession.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, sighing. "Is this why you deliberately tried to be my lab partner when I was new at school?" To which Miles' nervous expression became that of a guilty one.

"Maybe..." He admits, his voice sounding even less confident than before.

"Don't you like that Gwen girl from our class? I would've assumed because you two are literally so close." The guy in front of you only shrinks further into himself, feeling his heart sink and his face fall. "Gwen's like a sister to me. She isn't you." He said with a slight emphasis that really sounded more like a whine. 

Miles' words are slow but honest. His eyes trail up to the wall behind you to try to keep a brave face, which was slowly crumbling by the minute.

You snuck a glance at him before exhaling loudly. You flip your fingers back and forth, signaling him to come closer. "I guess you can cuddle with me." You mumbled, ignoring the way your cheeks are heating up. 

Not even wanting to see his reaction, you place your blanket back over your entire body, laying back down on your bed, facing the wall and away from him.

He seemed surprised, and his face instantly lit up. Miles let out a happy gasp as he grabs your blanket gently, climbing underneath it as he cautiously wraps an arm around your waist and snuggles up against your back. He even mustered the courage to bury his nose in your hair. 

Miles' heart was beating erratically, rendering him absolutely speechless as he held on to you as if his life depended on it. Well, it was a dream come true for the poor boy. He'd been practicing how he'd confess to you for the last three months. 

"You do know that you're going to have to work hard to get my 'yes' right?" You mumbled, trying to use every ounce of energy left in your body to numb the way his arm around your waist made you feel. "I'm fine with that," Miles quickly replied, his words soft and comforting. 

"As long as I can be with you, in any capacity, I am content." He chuckled. Shortly after the two of you slowly drifted off to sleep, still in each other's arms. Or more like, you were still in his arms.

Fin.

See more of my Miles content here babes!

(if yall wanna be on my taglist feel free to let me know!)

[boozenboze]

Merc With A Mouth Meets Sexy Men

Tf 141 x Deadpool!Male reader

Summary: Watch as the the Task Force captures yours truly and gets me the join them. Damn that Captain has some rizz in him.

Disclaimer- There will be dialogue from the movies and comics

Females She/Her and She/They DNI

M/n was seated on the highway railing while doing some art. He kicked his legs back and forth, he looked like a child.

"Hey I don't look like a child!" The male said while turning his attention the

"Oh.. .Oh well hello! I know right, who’s balls did I have to fondle to be here?” M/n said as he chuckled.

"Can’t say it, but.....it does rhyme with polverine.” I said as I look back over at the traffic.

“I do at the moment have places to be, a face to fix, and oooooh!” I said as I looked at the oncoming vehicle. “Bad guys to kill!” The man in red in black said as he stood.

“Maximum effort!” The masked male said as he jumped off the railing and into the sun roof of the car. Off the bat one guy tried to shoot him but I headbutted him. I grabbed his face and slammed it into the window behind him. My boot collided with the guy in the fronts face.

“Cock shot!” I said as I hit another guy in the balls. I threw one of the guys out of the trunk and I heard him screaming, funny. I leaned to the front and I pulled out a piece of paper, as he turned to face me as I said.

“Have you seen this man.” The photo contained a beautiful drawing by yours truly. The guy grabbed my head before slamming it into the radio.

“Ow...ow....ow”

“Ok time to cause some trouble.” I muttered to myself as I grabbed the guys wrist

(Pov switch)

“A little bit further.” Price instructed as the team made their way down the highway. The ride had been going smoothly, but the traffic build up only made the eldest a bit frustrated.

"What the hell..." Gaz said as he looked up at a car go up in the air, a motorcyclists being given a wedgie. It felt like time slowed as the others looked with wide eyes. The cars ahead of them swerved in order to not be part of the accident. Gaz did the same thing for the same reason and Ghost grunted. The four of them got out the car and watched as the men in black who were still standing pointed their guns at a car.

"What the hell is goin on here?" Soap asked as someone popped their head out of the car.

"Hey!" The voice said as the man said as he immediately had gunshots thrown at him.

"Wait-hold up, you may be wondering why the red suit. Well thats so bad guys don't see me bleed." The man explained as Gaz couldn't help but chuckle at the comment.

"That guys got the right idea, he wore the brown pants!" The man pointed at the man in question which led to more gunfire.

"Ok-fine! I only have 12 bullets so your gonna have to share!." Price grabbed his gun in case things got worse.

"Hold on didn't Laswell say that there was a guy that we had to look for." Gaz asked as Price ducked under a car due to the bullets being sent towards them. Price pulled out the small paper that Laswell had given them which had a short description on the guy they've been looking for.

"M/n L/n...ex Special Forces and dishonorable discharge." Price read aloud as the others gave each other a look. Soap looked at the paper that had a small picture of what the man looked like, well it wasn't a picture of his face but it was what he wore. The same man that was currently wreaking havoc was the guy that they had been sent to look for....Again

“We’re seriously being sent after this this prick again.” Soap muttered to himself, disappointed that they were going after the same guy.

The bridge was silent at this point as the mans voice boomed threw the silence.

"Oh Francis!~" The man said happily as he bumped the car door with his hip as he skipped over to the man who had a katana lodged into his shoulder. The male flicked the grip on the blade and watched it wiggle.

"Now i'm about to show you what did to music in the late 90’s” I reeled my arm back but my hand touched something hard. I touched around it before realizing.

“Dad?” I asked only for whover this giant was to lift me up and throw me over his shoulder.

“Well this isn’t the family reunion I hoped for.” I said teasingly as I eyed the two buns that were in my face. My intrusive thoughts are telling me to just.

“Hehe. Nice ass you got there buddy, seems like somebody’s been doing their squats.” I said as the man grunted before he begsn walking.

“H-hey! What are you doing I need answers from him.” I said while pointing at the man who fucked up my face.

“Shut up your annoying.” The big guy told me with a....British accent. Thats hot. Damnit Francis gonna get away now i’ll have to get another plan.

Timeskip

Thud

Thud

Thud

“Can you stop!” Price yelled, getting tired of the mercs constant headbanging on the table. The man in red and black squinted at the older man before sighing dramatically.

“Come on sugar you’re boring me here. Can’t we do something fun.” I asked as the man huffed at my comment.

“Hey, you and your guys are the ones who chose to take me... again....you can’t get mad at me.” I said defensive as the man sighed. Price looked at me with a deadpanned expression.

“M/n....we’ve come up with a proposal. Join the Task Force, it would be good for you.” Price said to me as I sighed out of boredom. Can this dilf stop with this same dialogue. At this rate his voice is gonna break me!

“How many times are you gonna tell me this! Seriously just give up already.” I complained as Price leaned in and stared at me. Is he trying to make me cum from staring into my soul...kinky.

“Listen, I believe you this job is fit for you because, well.....your you.” Well ain’t that nice of him to say.

“Ok.... I still don’t believe i’m "Task Force" material but...what am I getting out of this.” I asked while putting on my ‘thinking face’. The other man sighed while running a hand through his hair.

“We’ll help you find a cure for your face and we’ll give you a high rank.” Price said thinking that would make me agree.

“And....?”

“We’ll all take you on a date-”

“Deal!”

Side note-There will be another part or 2

[feyhunter78]

Pink Pastels Pt 18

Description: Miguel deals with Todd, and has a late night visitor—you.

Pt 19

The purr of car engines overhead, the slight rattling of the bridge, the coos of pigeons and the soft lapping of the waves fills Miguel's ears as he stares down at the waterlogged corpse at his feet.

“Lyla, how many people know about this?”

“About the mauled body of your new girlfriend's ex-boyfriend?” Lyla smirks, her heart shaped sunglasses low on her nose as she observes the scene.

Miguel sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, “Lyla, please just answer my question.”

“Just a few displaced people along the river, the Swedish shipping vessel that reported the sighting, and the Coast Guard has the call record, but since you got lucky with the currents and since I made a few more urgent calls to the Coast Guard, they haven't set eyes on him yet.” She tells him, raising her eyebrows at him.

“Thank you.” He says as he zips up the body bag and tosses it over his shoulder.

“So, what are you going to do with him?” She asks, flickering in and out of his masked vision.

“Acid.”

“Acid? Lame.” Lyla huffs.

He snorts. “It's quick, efficient, and less likely to leave a trace.”

“Yeah, but wasn't he like a total dick to y/n?”

He grunts in response as he swings through the city until he finds the disposal grounds of Janson Inc, the manufacturing company you mentioned Todd works for.

“I mean, I thought you'd go way more psycho than you did.” She says, laughter on the horizon of her tone.

“Lyla” He warns, as he heaves the body bag containing Todd into the acid, watching with no small amount of satisfaction as the fabric, flesh, and bone dissolve.

“Ok, ok, I'm just saying, I think I know you pretty well and-”

“I want him forgotten, I want y/n to forget about him.”

Lyla says nothing for a moment, then sighs heavily. “Miguel…you know it doesn't work like that. You might have been able to easily replace this universe's version of you, but that doesn't mean you can just as easily replace Todd.”

Miguel turns from the acid, the surrounding area bathed in a sickly green glow. “I know.”

“And you know y/n's different from Ana, Xina, Dana, and even Tempest, she cares about you, about Gabi. She really cares about Gabi. She's not just going to jump you now that her ex-boyfriend is gone. She's going to weigh the consequences.”

A smirk tugs at his lips, and for a moment his mind supplies him with the memory of you begging for him, his name on your lips like a fervent plea as you fall apart on his thigh. Of the way your eyes linger on his lips, how you reached for him in the doorway of your apartment.

He grunts in response. He knows you, better than you know he does, better than Todd did, perhaps better than anyone else in the world. You'll weigh the consequences, but that doesn't mean he can't try to lighten the load.

“Okay, Mr. Stupid and Silent, don't believe me. It's your funeral.” Lyla huffs before her form flickers out, and he's left alone in the dark.

Miguel unlocks the door to his apartment and silently pads through the quiet space.

Gabi's asleep, he knows this. You're asleep, he knows this. He should also be asleep, but he's filled with a nameless emotion--an anxious energy raging against the edges of sleep that are threatening to creep in on him.

He sits at his desk, flipping through security feeds, ensuring there's no record of him. He's clean, there's no trace of him or Todd.

He was smart, made sure no one would see when he broke into Todd's apartment and knocked him out.

No one noticed as he carried Todd's unconscious body to an abandoned warehouse, and no one heard Todd's screams as he tore into him, leaving him a mangled mess that Miguel finally dangled him off the bridge.

He watched unflinching as Todd plummeted. The sound of Todd's body slamming into the water echoed off the banks, and Miguel waited until he sank to return to his apartment.

No one would ever know. He got away clean.

“Hey Boss? Y/N's here.” Lyla says, her words hitting him a millisecond before he hears your soft knocking on his door.

He bolts up, running a hand through his hair and checking his appearance in the hall mirror before he swings open the door to see you. Perfect, perfect you.

Your hair is loose, hanging free, and you're clad in fuzzy socks and an oversized sweatshirt.

Are you wearing pants under that? Shorts? Is this a seduction tactic? Because it's working.

“Hey, I'm sorry, I know it's late, but I just...” You wave your hands helplessly, your nails are pink, a pretty pearlescent pink.

He reaches out to catch one of your hands in one of his, squeezing it slightly. “Don't apologize, I’m more than willing to help, whatever it is.”

You give him an embarrassed smile. “Okay, so, it's a new apartment and I swear I keep hearing all these noises, and I know it’s childish but...would you come and take a look? Make sure there's nothing there?”

He's in love with you, fully, completely, unreservedly.

“Of course, y/n, I felt the same way when I moved in. The building is a bit older, there are lots of creaks and groans.”

He follows you to your apartment as he says this, and you look back at him in surprise. “You were scared?”

He chuckles sheepishly. “Actually, Gabi was, I just wanted to make you feel better.”

You smile and duck your head. “I appreciate the effort."

You hold the door open for him, then stand in your lit kitchen, your arms wrapped around yourself. Your bare thighs are exposed by the rising fabric of your sweatshirt, and he averts his eyes. 

He strangles his desire to sink to his knees and grip the soft flesh of your thighs, to wrench them apart and bury his face between them. To watch you come apart on his tongue as the sounds of your pleas and moans fill the air.

“I feel like I heard something near the balcony. You say, tearing him from his thoughts.

“I’ll go check.” He tells you, making his way towards your balcony, his senses on high alert even though he knows there's nothing.

It's an older building, Gabi was scared when they first moved in, that much is true. But there's nothing to be scared of, he's ensured that. In fact, this building, this block might be the safest in all of Nueva York.

Miguel throws open your balcony door and makes a show of checking every inch. He's rewarded by your soft laugh.

“All clear?” You take a half step forward, a smile playing at your lips, the lingering traces of sleep still gracing your expression.

“All clear. Anywhere else you want me to check?”

You nod towards your bedroom. “I swear I heard shuffling in my bathroom.”

He waits at your door, looking back at you. “Through here?”

You breeze past him and sit cross-legged on the edge of your bed. “The door on the left.”

He pushes the door open and flicks on the light. He's seen this room already, through your necklace, but standing there, on your plush, pastel purple bath mat, looking into your mirror, the mirror he's admired your bare body in, sends him into a tailspin.

“You see anything?” You call softly.

He shakes his head. “Nothing, no monsters lurking in between your towels.

“I didn't think there were monsters." You mumble, padding over to him, your scent hitting him like a freight train.

Has it always been this strong, or was it because he's in your home and everything around him screams y/n?

He inhales deeply, his fingers curling around the edge of your sink, his eyes closed as he fights to calm himself.

“Miguel? Are you okay?” You ask, placing a hand on his bicep.

He pulls you forward, pressing your back against the sink, his arms on either side caging you in.

You look up at him with an adorable expression of surprise, as if you hadn't seen his agility when he was disguised as Spiderman. “Miguel?”

He steels himself, even as he feels the plaster of your sink give beneath his fingers. He'll fix that later.

“Pancakes or French Toast?”

“I'm sorry?” You ask stunned.

“For breakfast, cariño, which would you prefer?” He forces the words out, prays they're smooth and unassuming.

You smile up at him, and he feels his stomach flip. It's a childish thing, for a small smile to affect him this way.

“Oh, pancakes please, and I can help you cook if you need.”

You're so sweet.

“No, no, mi vida, I'm cooking. All you need to do is keep me company.”

Your eyes follow the movement of his lips, and his nostrils flare when he smells the arousal wafting off you.

“Are you sure? I really don't mind.” You insist, palms resting against his chest.

He leans down and presses a fleeting kiss to your forehead. “I'm sure, now goodnight y/n.”

Then he leaves you there and heads back to his apartment, his head spinning, your scent still lingering around him.

Taglist: @miggyoharaswife, @badbishsblog, @imisshim2much, @wanderlustingcastaway, @lynn-9703, @sleepyamaya, @erensbbg, @sweetea85, @ilovemiguelohara, @natthernandez, @stxrrielle, @ihateuguys, @jenniferdixon05207, @blep-23, @luvisaaxoxo, @minimari415, @emerald-09, @violet-19999, @kenchosaikuo, @groovycass, @youcantseem3, @lovefks, @nightshxdex, @dusstory, @aesniri, @munsonssecretblog, @kirke-is-my-name, @starbearieee, @chatoicboy, @act1839, @needsleep3000, @totally-not-georgia, @witchy-lizard, @cxmeiloorun7, @justrandomlolidk, @chimpkinnuggies, @alicefallsintotherabbithole, @loser-alert, @wwwellacom, @ryantryan6969, @lollipopin, @youcantseem3, @a-cult-leader, @verexi, @purpleskiesandroses, @they2luv1naia, @sophiaj650, @idolautism, @rheannajrs, @merakiq, @rexs-wife, @sukaretto-n, @twilight-loveer, @f1shb0nez, @callsign-blue, @marcelineormars

[theprenderelliepalace]

Damon Salvatore x fem!reader

Perception

Summary: Y/N drops some books off at the Salvatore residence, she expects to find trouble, being the odd one out and everything, she doesn't expect his name to be Damon Salvatore.

Warnings: For mature Audiences, themes of assault, drunk Damon (well isn't that new? Said no one ever.), uh, does a 'takes no shit' !reader count as a trigger?, Elena being a mysterious plot point

Words: 1.7k

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I watched Elena Gilbert make this weird expression at me... Caroline was saying something stupid, Bonnie was arguing with that judgemental gleam in her hazel eyes, but what caught my attention, was that foreboding purse of Elena's lips. The furrow of her flawless brow, the way her eyes sparked with something that scared me. It was almost hidden, she smiled wryly in my direction. Her eyes like daggers that penetrated my skull, it made me shiver; as I felt like I had been stripped bare of anything that belonged to me in that moment. Any ground or loyalty I had in our friend-group, I knew was gone, with the flick of Elena's hair behind her shoulder- my other friends hadn't even realised yet, but they would. Come morning I would be a stranger, even to my closest friends since kindergarten. I would be on the fringe of everything I used to know.

I was 12 when I stopped hanging out with the most popular girls in Mystic Falls. Strangley, I never regretted that day. What I had seen in my closest friend, that unexplainable glint about her that still gave me nightmares, had opened my eyes to something dark in the shitty little town I'd spent my entire life in. I said I'd never regretted that day, that was until the vampires came...

~~~~~

"Yes Care, i will be there before dark." I pinched the bridge of my nose, willing the annoying voice on the other end of the line to go bother someone else. "No, I did not tell Stefan." I responded dryly. Elena was in danger, yet again. Klaus was on the prowl, for the daggers, for Elena's blood, for all of us... And Caroline was bugging me about my communication skills. "Well seeing as I'm dropping these old spellbooks for Bonnie at the boarding house, I figure, 'Hey, why not kill two vampires with one study session from hell." I groaned internally as Caroline got heated over the phone. I slammed the back door to my dad's old Toyota corolla, opening the drivers side and collapsing into the leather seat. "Then take it up with someone who cares Caroline. Sorry, I'm driving through a tunnel, on an airplane, while hanging up the phone."

I can't even remember what I did with my phone, all I know is that I started my engine and reversed out of my driveway, heading for the outskirts of the town and towards the infamous Salvatore residence.

It had been 4 goddamm years since I called those girls my friends. I had seen an entire 'nother leap year, in the time it took for these bitches to deem me useful. I travled with my mom, Rome, Paris, India, Africa. I would've gotten my high-school diploma six months ago, if I hadn't had to move back to this ancient cesspool of a town.

And don't misunderstand me, that is the time it took for my life to go to crap. Vampires, the Salvatore Brothers, Elena... I shuddered in my seat, clenching my hands around the wheel as I thought about her.

I was so lost in my thoughts, that I jumped when I reached the boarding house. It was tall and looming, with an ominous darkness catching the corner of my eye. I sighed as I parked, readying myself for the chaos of the two people I despised more than Mystic High's Queen Bee. You see, in the last 6 months I had discovered something about myself, I was perceptive. Yes, I have always been a little more aware than perhaps usual, but it was more than that. I was something supernatural, I didn't know what but I did know that I could see magic, hear a vampires nearly imperceptible heartbeat and feel the forces of nature that others couldn't even dream about.

It was strange, knowing you could see other people when they never expected to be seen at all. I could read their faces, know their tells, pick apart their lies. It was why I was suddenly on the Mystic Falls supernatural hit-teams most wanted list. I could see. I scoffed as I pulled the back door of my car open. Heaving the heavy books into my arms, shifing my weight into my lower back as I ambled up the porch steps to the front door. If all these people needed me for was my sight, then these assholes should really get their eyes checked.

The door was already open, I ducked in sideways, trying to keep my balance while toppling books inched out of my grip. "Let me take those off your hands." I audibly groaned, the voice that assaulted my ears was silky smooth, like fine wine pouring into my ears.

"Damon, look what the bat dragged in." I couldn't see him over the pile of scripts and dusty memoirs of old witches, but I could hear his stupid smirk as he took the pile away from me.

"Still as snarky as ever Y/N. Didn't your mummy ever teach you to be nice to charming men who carry your books?" Anyone else wouldn't have noticed the foe-disdain in his voice, or the slight quicking pace in his pulse, of course, I'm not anyone else.

"Oh! That's what the karate classes were for." I looked at him now, this tall,brooding, Greek God of a man was attracted to me. Stupid I know. That's what I thought too, but I've never been wrong. Especially not since I came into my powers. Normally I would take the shot, go for it, but I had no chance. He was in love with his brothers girlfriend, a stupider decision if you ask me.

"Glad I've only ever seen you in action once or twice then." He smirked. I walked past him and into the living room. The fire was roaring, as I often found it was when Damon was alone on a Thrusday through Sunday afternoon. Where he was the rest of the time, I hadn't had the stomach to ask. I laughed unconvincingly.

"Didn't I almost shoot you in the face when you first tried to use me as a human pincushion?" He set the books down with a thud on the ornate coffee table. I set mine down with a far greater deal of grace. He frowned at me.

"Details, details. Besides," He took a step towards me, he smelled like alcohol and something else..."the way to a vampire, is always through his heart." He grabbed my hand, gently at first, clinging onto it as I tried to pull away. He made me touch his chest, it was firm and rising jaggedly with air he didn't need.

I glared at him. "You're drunk. Go leech on something else," i paused "leech." He laughed, it sent shivers down my spine, his eyes were deadly and cold. He pulled me flush against him. I wasn't unused to this radical "Damon Behavior", but there was something wild about his eyes. Something needy. To be honest, maybe I was needy too.

"Someone should teach you manners little lady." Or maybe not. I timed it perfectly, jutting my elbow out from between us into his diaphragm, he caught my arm, blocking it and shifting my upper body to the right. His lips found my ear, his breath tickled as he whispered into my hair. "One day that mouth of yours will bite off more than those pretty little lips can chew.

"Someone should teach you the modern cure for the insufferable womanizer." I spat. Then suddenly- I was on the couch, the fire crackled so loudly in my ears I thought my head would explode. Damon was leaning over me. His ebony hair feathered against his forehead, his lips were inches from mine, our breath mingled into each other. I felt his body become hotter above me, it was almost startling compared to his cool demeanor at the door. "Damon, please. Use at least one brain cell to think about this stupid decision you're making-"

He cut me off, "See that's the thing Y/N, you talk to me with that foul little mouth of yours and think it's okay. No one talks to me like that." For the first time in an agonizing ten minutes he looked away from me. "I never let anyone talk to me like that. But its like this-" if we had been having this conversation like normal people, I would've smiled at the hint of Italian in his accent. "I do let you. You drive me crazy. I hate you for that."

I tensed. "Well people who hate each other don't treat one another like this. So one of us is lying." I don't know if I knew who was lying to themselves between the both of us, but maybe that would give me enough of a chance to distract him and then-

And then he was kissing me. It was deep and firey. He moaned against my lips as he parted them with his tongue, his grip around my waist tightened as he explored my mouth. It all happened so quickly, I barely began to understand what was happening before "I don't like lying Y/N."

What the hell was that?

He bolted away from me and was on the other side of the room so fast he was only a blur. He started to say something, probably to shout at me in his drunken stupor, but I was quicker- "Did you say that out-loud?" I asked, I was breathless and disgusted and fascinated all in the span of 5 seconds.

He made a face at me. "The hell, "did I say that?" He mocked my question,he was agitated, borderline disbelieving. "I was in the middle of kissing you, moron. I did not say that. What the hell did you do?" He held his arms close to his chest, obviously he felt as violated as I did. I scowled at him.

"Then, moron, did you think it?" He looked at me with big, blue, question- filled eyes.

"I-"

"Y/N?" Shit, Bonnie, i glanced to the door. I turned back to the fireplace and the leather-clad, bad boy vampire was gone. I pinched the bridge of my nose... worst timing ever Bonnie Bennet...

What the hell just happened?

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Ta-da! Ooo la, la... I'm a sucker (haha, get it?) for mystery and suspense.

Did you like the little nudge towards something Elena related, without having to deal with like, Elena..?

But chill, there will be a little bit of everything for all you shippers.

I don't know where I'm going to take this story yet, so feel free to Ask, or request or whatever and maybe things will turn in your favour... :0

Read pt 2 here: Read part 3 here:

Masterlist

[solitaryearthperson]

A Misunderstanding

Summary: Bruce thinks the reader fears him when it's quite the opposite.

(The reader is gender-neutral and uses they/them pronouns. The ethnicity/race is preferably a person of color.)

"Where's (Y/N)," Bruce asked, his eyes not lifting up from the beaker in front of him as he continued to pour more chemicals in.

"They're getting us coffee. Be here any minute," Tony replied, sitting in a seat not far away from Bruce's table, but still on his side of the lab, casually picking up a vial to play with.

"They're our assistant, not servant," Bruce told him, lifting his gaze and instantly furrowing his brow at seeing the vial in Tony's hands. "Put that back, please."

"I'll put it back, when I have my coffee," Tony told him, to which Bruce rolled his eyes, expecting Tony to be his usual difficult self, even when it's early in the morning.

The sound of the lab doors opening made both geniuses turn to see you entering, holding in both hands, cups of coffee, each one specifically made for them both. "Brought the coffee you wanted."

As Tony quickly grabbed his coffee, offering a quick 'thank you' before putting the vial back in its place, Bruce watched you carefully. He had a suspicion about you from the moment you began working in the lab with them and he wanted to confirm it to Tony.

"Hey (Y/N)," he said, watching your face and examining your body language closely. The second your name came out of his mouth, your body slightly jumped. He darted his eyes over to Tony to see if he was watching, and was quickly satisfied to find that he was.

"Could you just sit mine down, please?" He pointed to a far spot on the table.

He noticed the big gulp you made before nodding your head and making your way to his table and sitting down the coffee cup.

He pretended to pay close attention to the beaker, but really he slightly moved his eyes to your hand as you sat the coffee down and noticed the third sign that his suspicions about you were correct. Even though you tried to hide it, he could clearly see your hand slightly trembling. The fourth sign was revealed to him at the same time as he noticed that the hair on your arm was raised, as if in alarm. Every single time, he thought.

"Hey (Y/N), could you go upstairs, and tell Cap to come down here," Tony asked you, opening a drawer in his desk. "I wanna test something on his shield."

"Sure thing, Mr. Stark," You said, before leaving to do as directed, and Bruce couldn't help but notice the way you left was very quickly, almost as if you were hurrying out to get away from him.

When the sound of the lab doors closing behind you was heard that's when Bruce decided to speak up.

"You saw it, right," He asked Tony.

"Saw what?"

"Literally everything they just did," Bruce said, taking off his glasses and placing them on the table before walking over to Tony's side of the lab, and leaned against his desk. "The jumping, trembling, and even the way they hurried out of here just now."

"What does any of that mean, exactly?"

Sighing, Bruce rubbed the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, already knowing this might be difficult to speak with him about. "They're scare of me."

Tony tried to prevent the grin that wanted to appear and kept his face neutral as he responded, "Scared of you?"

"Yes. I know it."

"And why would they be so scared of you? You haven't hulked out in a while. They've only seen you in your nerdy, scientist attire, not as a green monster. There's no reason to be scared."

"We know why they're scared. Doesn't matter if I've hulked out or not. I'm still dangerous."

Taking a sip of his coffee, Tony sighed knowing that Bruce still wasn't sure of himself being on the team or being in such close proximity to any of them. "Banner, I'm gonna be as honest as I can with you," he said, stepping towards him, and putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You are literally the softest person ever."

"Tony," Bruce tried to interrupt him.

"You're basically a teddy bear with glasses. Nothing about you besides Hulk is dangerous, okay?"

Shaking his head, Bruce tried to ignore the growing frustration he was feeling. He didn't know why it bothered him so bad, but it did. Well, that was technically a lie. He knew why it bothered him, but he hoped that working with them for so long could have remedied that. He knows that he should be used to this by now, but knowing that you, of all people, was scared of him made him feel so much worse than any other person would. "I know what fear looks like, Tony, and it looked like they were scared."

"Please talk to them about it, before jumping to conclusions about this. Can you do that?" Tony had seen all the signs that Bruce had seen for a while and had come to understand what they really were, and hoped that Bruce would soon figure it out.

"Fine. I'll talk to them about it."

~LATER THAT NIGHT~

It was close to 1 in the morning, when Bruce looked away from the computer screen at the sound of the lab door opening, and when he turned to see who had entered, he found himself instantly become nervous seeing that it was you.

"Dr. Banner," You greeted him, smiling politely at him.

"(Y/N)," he greeted back. "What brings you here?"

"Mr. Stark told me to come down and check on you. Plus, he said that you wanted to talk to me about something important."

Of course, he did, Bruce thought, moving away from the computer and sitting down next to one of the lab tables. He couldn't help but notice you seemed to be staying far away from his side of the lab.

"Yeah, I did, (Y/N). It's important."

"Okay. What is it?"

"You do know that if you have any fears, any worries about working here, you can voice them, right?"

"Yeah, of course I do," you told him, nodding your head.

"So do you want to talk about you being scared of me?"

"What-What are you talking about?" You stammered, closing some of the distance between you two.

"(Y/N)," Bruce sighed, closing his eyes for a second before opening them again to look at you. "Ever since you've started here, you've been jumpy around me and keeping your distance from me. You always hesitate to come up to me, like you're scared I'm gonna hurt you."

A look of recognition and embarrassment came over your face and you opened your mouth to explain yourself to him, but before you could say anything, Bruce spoke again.

"I understand why you'd be feeling this way, but-"

"Dr. Banner, I'm so sorry. This is a big misunderstanding -"

"I promise you're not in any danger with me," he continued.

"I'm not scared of you, Dr. Banner-"

"I have control over the big guy. There won't be any incidents of him coming out-"

"Dr. Banner, I like you," you blurted out loudly, interrupting him in the middle of his sentence.

"What," he asked, a look of surprise and confusion upon his face.

Seeing how shocked he looked, you felt heat come to your face and quickly darted your eyes away from him. You never wanted to tell him like this, but to be really honest, you never wanted to tell him period.

"You-You like... me," he asked, shock and confusion still present on his face. "Why were you being so jumpy and-and weird around me then?"

"I didn't know I was being weird," you confessed, walking around the lab table and pulling a nearby chair to sit down next to him, ignoring the burning in your cheeks and your fast heartbeat. "I didn't know how to act around you, and not show my crush, so I thought I could keep my distance. Thought it would better hide it."

"Oh" was all he said, his face suddenly not revealing what he was feeling anymore.

"Um, if you don't want me to work here in the lab with you now, then I completely understand," you said to him, mistaking his silence as a silent rejection.

"Why would I want that?" He asked, confused. Now that you confessed how you felt about him, he thought that now is a great time to confess his feelings as well. "I like you too."

His confession shocked you and it took a second for you to reply.

"You do?"

"Yeah," he nodded, chuckling softly.

"Oh... Well, would you mind going on a date with me or are you uncomfortable with going with your assistant?" You asked, curious and wanting to make sure that he wouldn't feel too weird about it.

"That depends,...will you jump and keep your distance from me the whole time," he joked.

"No, I won't, Dr. Banner," you replied, laughing softly.

"Bruce," he corrected, smiling at you, making a fluttery feeling begin in your stomach. "Call me Bruce."

"Sure thing,... Bruce," you said, excited to finally go on a date with the man you've been secretly pining for forever. "Sure thing."

[baddestboy]

“Don't scream, but there's a huge ass fire ant at the back of your shirt. I think it's their fucking leader.”

“I don't care about that right now, Katsuki! I'm trying to run for my life right now from the wasps whose house you burned down!”

Bakugo grumbles under his breath, meeting you at your pace easily and grabs your hand to tug on, as if to say go faster, dumbass.

“For the last time, it was a fuckin' accident. The shitheads got in the way of me trying to burn down the fucking shitshow of an ant hill that was ruining our date.”

You groaned in response, already wanting to stop running since you need to catch your breath. Bakugo catches on your exhaustion and pauses to help you get on his back.

Once you got on safely, he continued running, narrowly missing the swarm that was hell-bent on attacking him.

The both of you weren't always running for your lives and “accidentally” burning down wasps' nests, however. The day started off perfectly enough.

You have just started going out recently, and are still trying to navigate the waters of the early stages of a relationship.

With you being the one to usually plan out your dates, he jumped on the chance to plan this day out since it was his rare day off and he wanted to surprise you for a change.

Knowing your boyfriend, he has probably planned the day down to the smallest details… which is how the both of you ended up enjoying a perfect picnic date at the local park, enjoying the delicious picnic spread he prepared (!!! his cooking is always a treat), with you talking about everything and anything under the sun while he listens to your ramblings with an occasional grunt or quip.

The trouble first arose when you noticed a few ants straggling towards your picnic basket, where you were protecting your precious desserts inside. “Hey, could we move?” You asked, not wanting to disrupt the ecosystem in the park but also wanting to save your dessert that your boyfriend lovingly prepared with you in mind. 

He looked at the ants in disinterest, flicking them away from the basket then looked back at you expectantly. “Do we still have to move?”

You looked at him in horror. “Katsuki, did you know what you just did?”

“I was doing us a favor of not having to get up and move, you mean.”

“Those weren't normal ants, idiot! I mean no, sorry, you aren’t an idiot, but holy shit I watched this on TikTok. If there are a few of fire ants here, that means that their ant hill is close by and they’re going to retaliate. We have to leave now before they attack us.”

Bakugo finds your concern cute. “Babe, aren’t you forgetting something? I can just blow the fuckin’ ant hill up using my quirk.”

“Wait, what? Oh my god no-” You could only watch in horror as he makes the nearest thing that resembles an ant hill explode, and a horde of angry wasps comes out of their (burning) nest and is headed straight towards your completely clueless boyfriend.

Your fight or flight reflexes immediately kicked in and you got up and tugged on Bakugo’s shirt. “Get up, get up! They’re headed this way, holy shit, we need to run now.”

Your completely eventful date ended at the park security’s office, sitting beside your boyfriend who had his arms crossed, and accompanied by Red Riot, who was conveniently the hero who responded to the call and who was currently laughing his ass off after you had recounted the story to them.

The two of you may have gotten away scot-free from authorities thanks to certain pro-hero perks, but with the way Kirishima always brings the unsuccessful date up every chance he could? You’d think you were given a life sentence instead.

(That was also your first time meeting one of Bakugo’s friends, which was mildly embarrassing in its own right. The only piece of good news that you've gotten out of this whole ordeal was that the shared trauma burned down any awkward bridges between you and your boyfriend… if only he had burned down the correct hill from the start.)

[jungle-angel]

Send Off (Bob Floyd x Reader)

Summary: You, Bob and the rest of the squad get ready to send your kids off to school and let the shenanigans ensue

"Okay Daddy I'm ready now!" Auggie chirped as he stepped out of the bathroom.

Bob sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Auggie, though he had tried, couldn't quite match his own clothes yet. "C'mere bud," Bob told him.

He went into Auggie's room and dug around in the dresser for a hot minute, pulling out a little white t-shirt and a blue checked flannel to go with Auggie's jeans. "Put this on," Bob told his little mini-me.

"But we're gonna miss the bus!" Auggie chirped again.

"Buddy we've still got plenty of time," Bob assured him.

"What's he buggin about missing the bus?" you asked, poking your head in the door.

"Just a little," Bob answered. "And might I ask why you're up Mrs. Floyd?"

"Bob, I've been taking it easy for three weeks now," you told him, the dishtowel in your hand coming to rest on your ever growing bump. "The only thing that your sister's allowing me to do is eat, sleep, read, watch t.v or use the can."

"Hey, Reagan's been doing this for the last nine years," Bob reminded you with a grin. "Trust me, you don't wanna brush off her advice."

You laughed a little, neither of you having noticed that Auggie had disappeared and come back a minute later. "Daddy I can't brush my teeth."

"Why not buddy?"

"Patrick's parked on the shitter!"

You and Bob both burst out laughing at Auggie's response, but at least three-year-old Patrick had finally gotten the hang of using the bathroom on his own.

You got Auggie's toothbrush and the charcoal and mint toothpaste out of the bathroom and had him scrub his teeth in the kitchen sink before Patrick was done, having just washed his hands. As soon as Auggie's backpack had been packed up, he followed Bob out of the house to wait for the bus.

It wasn't long before the rest of the squad had begun making their way down. Maverick was the first to drop by with Danny and Thomas while Rooster was close behind him with Nicky and Pete.

"You guys get outta the house ok?" Bob asked.

"Never better," Maverick yawned. "These two little demons though, woke Penny and I up at six-thirty while Amelia was doing her makeup in the bathroom."

Bob snickered a little, more so when he noticed Rooster in his black basketball shorts and a mismatched shirt. "You didn't sleep did you?" Bob chuckled.

"I couldn't even a coffee before we left," Rooster groaned. "These two are like bottomless pits......they just wolfed down their cornflakes and called it a day."

Coyote came striding up just a minute later with Paloma and Carla giggling like crazy but the exasperated look on his face saying it all.

"Hair......" he interjected before anyone could say anything. "That's all you've gotta know."

Bob looked over at his giggling nieces whose thick hair had been put into tight cornrows with white and turquoise beads at the end. "How'd you do it?" Bob asked him.

"I don't have a clue," Coyote said, throwing his hands up. "Those two cannot sit for two seconds to save their lives and my mom and my wife are the only ones who can do their hair. But somehow, Daddy did it!!!"

Payback crossed the street with Geneva and Neveah some time later while Mickey trailed along with Isabella in her new dress with a bright sunflower pattern. Hangman came around the back of his house with the twins while Phoenix was the last to arrive with Gabe in tow.

"Holy shit," Hangman groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. "Is it the first day of school already?"

"Unfortunately," Rooster answered.

"God help us all," Natasha said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Couldn't get the coffee in on time?" Jake asked her.

"This little knucklehead woke up and tried to bring the dog to school with him," Natasha answered. "First time I ever saw Cole jump outta bed in his shorts."

Everyone had a good laugh on the morning shenanigans while everyone had begun taking pictures of the older kids all lined up with their backpacks as they waited for the bus. It felt like forever but finally, the little yellow bus that had the name of their school stenciled on the side, pulled up and let the kids on. All of them waved goodbye to their parents, ready for the first day of school as the bus pulled away down the street.

"Are you crying?" Bob asked Jake.

"No," Jake insisted. "I've got allergies, that's all."

Bob rolled his eyes as everyone dispersed and went back to the house. His father's truck pulled into the driveway to bring Patrick down to the nursery school, where Auggie had gone, leaving you and Bob with the whole day ahead to get the nursery decorated for your daughter.

"What?" you asked when you heard Bob chuckle a little.

"Hangman was crying at the bus stop when Missy and Molly got on the bus," he answered.

"Did he really?"

"Oh yeah," Bob laughed. "Tole me it was allergies."

You both had a good laugh on the matter as you began putting the nursery together and attempting to paint it the way Patrick's nursery school had done. You looked over at your phone, noting the time, but hoping all the same that Auggie and your nieces and nephews were having the time of their lives on their first day of kindergarten.

[matchadobo]

KÖNIG; someone to come home to

wc: 5859 summary: könig found your cat and bridged the budding relationship between the two of you. warning/s: afab reader, nsfw 🔞 (please read at your own discretion, scars, könig is very shy and has social anxiety, alcohol/liquor

"oh for the love of god why do you keep running away..!" you jogged around your neighborhood, eyes frantically scanning each bush and corner of the street just to find that spotted motherfucker with doe eyes and tiny paws that'd immediately make you forget all the rage you went through while finding her.

you love your cat, she's the light of your life, much more your child. but she has this habit of wandering off during autumn, playing with the fallen leaves in places that were surrounded by many trees. you've traversed the entire neighborhood and you were starting to panic when you couldn't find her. she usually comes back when the sun sets but it's almost past six and she's nowhere in sight.

until you heard a distant purr from that one park you haven't checked since it's mostly occupied by kids so it's unlikely. but you swiftly ran to the park, only to find your cat nestled in someone else's lap. a burly, towering man who cradled her very delicately. he brushed his scarred hands by the head and ears of your cat as she leaned further by his dainty pats.

he then noticed you right away, shot up from his seat like you scared him. you broke into a smile to ease the atmosphere, it kind of freaked you out that he noticed you even though you didn’t so much as make a movement or noise. the man had his face covered with a black cloth of some sort, the only visible features of his face were his vibrant, green eyes. he wore a black shirt that looked way too tight for a man his size, brown denim pants paired with black boots. he backed away slightly when you got closer.

"hey, uh, seems you caught her." your cat jumped off of the man's arms and ran to you, you bent down to catch her. "she's my cat."

the look of clarity was evident in him when he relaxed at your words. "thank god you caught her though, i thought i lost her for a moment." you laughed nervously, hugging your oblivious cat. "i'm name." you started, walking a little closer to him to reduce the tension.

you noticed how he kind of stiffened up but managed to return back your gesture. "k-könig." he responded, thick german accent coating his speech. "sorry for kinda taking your cat." he joked a little.

"oh, don't worry about it!" you laughed, "i think she felt safe with you. cats latch onto people that make them feel comfortable."

you heard a low laugh from beneath his mask, you gave him a look at his green eyes to try and recognize him. "are you...did you just move here?"

"not really, but i'm staying for a bit here. my house is just a block away from this park."

unbeknownst to you, it was taking könig everything to not fold right now. aside from being an extremely socially anxious person, he finds you so incredibly pretty. your demeanor, how you carry yourself towards him, how you smile at him, and most of all how you somehow put him at ease; it's as if it's the first time he really wanted to get to know someone and spend more time with someone even if you two just met. he rarely stays in his house here in austria so he never really knew anyone here, nor was he aware that someone like you lives around here. if he did, he'd actually make an effort to go out regularly.

"staying a bit in here? you travel a lot?" you raised a brow, simultaneously patting your cat's head.

"o-oh yeah, i don't stay in my place much." he laughed nervously, his body language changing. könig doesn't really want to tell anyone about his line of work, much less a woman he's interested in. it's surprising enough that you didn't get scared away by his mask, and most of all how he took your cat. he's afraid he might scare you off and immediately lose you. right off the bat, he wants to take you out for drinks; but his confidence is too low because he thinks  that it wouldn’t go further than that.

but nonetheless! it's been a long time since he felt this kind of rush. musing at you and smiling beneath his mask, his heart ran wild on his chest. your cat was one thing that drew him to you, but your smile and with how your beauty shone with the golden glint of the sky. he somehow managed to hold a conversation with you whilst observing how the colors in your eyes glistened in the sunset and how your hair danced with the breeze and kept it away from your face to give him a better look.

"hey, uh." he garnered all the sprouting confidence you gave him from laughing alongside him with dry jokes and boring stories. you pressed your lips together, muttering a "hm?" as your attention was fully directed at him. he sweated a little before saying, "do you maybe wanna... grab drinks or something? you can bring her if you want." he lightheartedly invited you, laughing a little at that last bit.

your heart thumped in your chest a little too fast; finding this man so cute despite the strange cloth that prevented you from knowing the face behind it and his overwhelmingly huge size. "i think i'm supposed to say that last bit, yeah? i'll bring her if YOU want, könig." you broke into a laugh, hearing his laughter too. "but, of course. i'd be happy to."

you see him perk up a little at your reply. behind that mask, you know that he's smiling from the curve of his eyes.

reaching the nearby pub, a dimly lit place that reeked of liquor and cigarettes. the place was decorated with vintage records, paintings, and trinkets. regulars were playing pool, teenagers were in the far back shoving their tongues down each others' throats, and the old, tired bartender wiping off some cups and bottles. you two sat by the high chairs, secluded in some corner not too far from the bartender.

he ordered a whiskey while you settled for a classic scotch. not too long, you two somehow hit it off for hours: playing with the cat, playing with pool and trash-talking some regulars, getting tipsy and touching each other quite more, playing some old arcade games and destroying each other, and saying things that you two might forget in the morning.

"i'm better at pool than you." he blurted out. "your aim is just hilariously cute." he walked behind you, keenly watching if you'll trip and fall from how you stumble while walking.

"it's the liquor, i'll crush you sober!" you tried talking with no slurring, but miserably failed and evoked a snort from him. he held his alcohol pretty decently, he moved quite wonkily but still managed to walk properly. you however, had too much to drink. what could you say? you could drink a little too much when you're with someone you enjoy!

"right, how do you plan on doing that?" he caught you when you almost tried reaching for your imaginary chair that looked way too vivid in your vision, he had a firm hand on your arm as you sat back down in your previous spot. "can you even get home at this rate?"

"shut up, you're so cocky for someone who won because you're bigger." you mumbled, laying your head down on the table.

"that doesn't make sense, name. accept defeat, yeah?" you grumbled as a response, hearing a chuckle from him.

his phone rang suddenly. könig stood behind you, an arm beside your frame as it rested on the high table before taking his eyes off you and answering his phone. "we've got a mission for you, könig. kortac will be deployed in a week from now, the details will be discussed in hq at the same time. copy?"

"roger."

his heart somewhat sank at the announcement. never had he felt hesitant nor felt his heart waver at an issuing of deployment. he always completed missions one after the other passively. he didn't have anything to miss or look forward to. but when he looked at you, wasted as you almost fell off your seat if it weren't for his arm supporting you from the side, he just felt like he couldn't leave you alone now... or maybe ever?

he gestured for the bartender to bring a pitcher of water. "alright, listen to me. you're gonna drink that until you can walk and think straight, got it?" he tapped at your back placing a glass of water in front of you. you whined, taking the glass from him begrudgingly. "you have a lot of trust for someone you just met, huh."

"why, soldier? gonna do somethin' bad to the citizen you serve for?" you blurted out, chugging the entire glass of water and burping afterward. you saw how his eyes widened and how his shoulders perked up a bit from shock. "yeah, that call earlier proved my suspicions."

"aren't you blacked out drunk?" he looked away, trying to avoid the topic.

"oh please, my head's heavy and i feel like shit. doesn't mean i'm deaf and dumb, big guy." you nudged his shoulder a little. "saw the tag shining when you bent down during pool, lotsa scars for someone ordinary, you rarely live at your house means you get deployed a lot, that sorry excuse for a subtle knife pouch in your pants, and that call earlier." you listed out taking another chug of an entire glass.

"nice catch, know a soldier?" he relaxed a little, watching how you skillfully stuffed all that water down the drain you call your body.

"dated one." you responded, eyeing him whilst drinking.

"so you have a type?" he sounded cheeky, sounding like his face was smugly staring at you. "that why you're all smiley ever since we met, huh?"

you broke into laughter, fanning yourself. thanking god that you can excuse your blushing from the inebriation. "you are acting smitten, soldier. maybe you have it the other way around? no fair your face is hidden though, couldn't see if i got you smiling or something."

"what do you think then, frau?" he leaned fairly close, your knees touching as his gaze traversed your entire face.

"i think my bladder's going to explode, i'll deal with your flirting later." you winked, walking past him to the bathroom. little did you know, you left the big guy giggling stupidly to himself.

you came back and he was patiently waiting for you. "i can walk properly now."

"right, i didn't want to get home all alone when you're all wasted." he stood up too, massively towering over you.

"tch, you're saying too much for a man with a mask." you snubbed, playfully stomping out of the pub.

you two walked home, still talking about useless things and other stories and passing jokes. he held your cat close to his chest while walking, the cat falling asleep in his big grasp. "where's your house again?"

"i can walk there fine, könig. it's okay. you must be tired too, mine’s just a few houses away." you dismissed, a tired smile on your lips.

"ah-ah, i insist. it'd be improper to leave a frau like you walking alone at midnight." he strolled beside you.

"but you're pretty far from here, right?" you looked up at him.

"doesn't matter, it's not far for me." he replied. "getting worried?"

"pft, no." you brushed off, despite the smile on your face. "just don't wanna be a suspect if you were gonna be found dead tomorrow."

after a short exchange of laughter, you reached your house. "well, this is it." you concluded. "i'll be taking MY cat back."

he laughed a little before handing the sleeping feline to you. "i had a really good time, könig. good night." you smiled, musing at the vibrance of his green eyes.

"me too," he waved farewell. "good night." he backed away before finally walking away to where his house was. walking home with a smile on his face, the subtle scent of your perfume on his shirt that was decorated generously with cat fur, and a viciously, fast beating heart. he hadn't felt this kind of high from someone.

the fact that you two may or may not see each other again stayed at the back of your minds. but you two slept it off with a smile, hoping this wasn't the end of it.

that's what you thought, but you hadn't seen him in days. you forgot to get his number and what's worse is you don't know where he lives! there's no way of reaching him now.

you figured that he maybe got deployed or something, maybe that phone call from the night you two were together was it. you sighed in your realization, plopping onto your bed in despair as you reminisce about your fun, little date. slowly accepting that you wouldn't see him again. that he is just another fling or another incident to make you happy temporarily and remind you why you can't settle down with anyone.

that is until your door almost broke down from the force of the knocking down the hall. you opened the door, only to find könig drenched in the rain.

"w-what the fuck?! don't you have an umbrella?! come inside, you idiot!" you panicked, moving over to let him in. the bastard was shivering in the cold so you fetched him a towel before letting him sit on your couch. your cat immediately settled on his lap.

"start talking, könig." you sighed, sitting on the coffee table before him.

suddenly, he pulled the shirt off his head to finally reveal his once covered face. you were about to hand him a glass of water only to accidentally drop it from his gesture. he caught it though, military reflexes.

"thoughts?" he broke into an awkward smile, drinking from the water he caught. he chuckled at the priceless reaction you have. "say something, frau. it's starting to get weird here."

his auburn curls were damp and sat atop his head in a disheveled manner, some of his curls framed the sides of his face down to his jaw. his pale complexion had faint freckles and  prominent scars all over his chiseled face and body where you could see his skin. he had relaxed eyebrows and somewhat sunken eyes, though his bright, green eyes made up for it. his lips were chapped and fairly pink as the natural tint in his cheeks. but what sets his entire face off from the ordinary was the big scar that went from his right temple down to his left jaw that went across his eyebrow, nose, and lips.

"i-if it's scaring you, i c-can cover it-"

"no..!" you impulsively hugged him by his neck, both of you surprised at your actions. "i-it's brave, thank you, könig. that must've taken a lot in you to do."

"just five days of tossing and turning and regretting that i didn't gave you my number." he sarcastically remarked, returning your hug by settling both of his hands across your back.

you laughed a little before pulling away. you then took off your shirt, only in your bra now. you see him pull away immediately, beet red on the face as he averted his gaze from your body. "what the hell are you doing, you idiot! i have something to show you too."

an embarrassed "oh" escaped his lips. he tried to compartmentalize those thoughts and focused on what you were going to say. that's when he noticed the huge scar spanning from your chest down to your abdomen. "it's also my biggest scar from being in the service, i was discharged after i got it."

his eyes widened, "y-you were in the service too?!"

"yeah, that's how i met the one i dated. and how i lost him too." you tried composing yourself and swallowed hardly. "all i'm saying is, we both have these. so... none of that, none of you, is scaring me, könig." you smiled softly, brushing your fingers by his arms that were also rich in scars.

"look i, uh, will be deployed in two days." he broke out, his deep green eyes frantically mirroring his overwhelming feelings. "i was thinking if we could, you know, if you'd want to go somewhere with me to make the most of my leave?"

you teared up from laughing, either from joy or endearment. "you didn't have to be so dramatic and run in the rain about it, though. but yes, let's do that."

a wide smile made its way to his face, the vast amount of scars contrasted the joy he had in his eyes and lips. a putty feeling made his chest tight as he sat face to face with you, your scars and his visible to each other. it's the first time he ever shared something like this with someone. once strangers a few days ago turned into something more because he decided to drag his ass to you and not let his thoughts get the best of him, and he was proud of himself because of that.

you lent him an umbrella and told him to meet up at the airport after packing his stuff. and you carried on with yours too, a sudden trip with him would be a rush you'd never thought you'd experience. you've thrown in some outfits, body essentials, undergarments, and the like to try and take your mind off of him and wipe that lovesick smile on your face. but failed of course.

soon after, you two met at the airport with your suitcases. you waved at him cheerfully, smiling as he got closer. "thought you were gonna stood me up." you joked, nudging him a little. "soldiers are always on time, right? what happened to you?"

"i got lost?"

"save it, let's get our tickets now." he took your suitcases as you made your way to the ticket counter for both of your tickets.you already booked tickets before you packed hours ago so it all went smoothly, soon enough you two made it to paris.

you two had spent an afternoon eating at artisan food markets for lunch, shopping at boutiques (mostly you), taking pictures in museums, and ending the day biking to your hotel. the day was cut short since you two arrived at lunchtime, but you two had planned a lot for the next day.

you two had a problem with the hotel though, "well, we booked a hotel on the same day so... we can't really complain about having only one bed."

"...i'd just sleep on the couch or something. whatever you're comfortable with." he insisted on the elevator, kind eyes looking at you beneath the mask.

"i had fun today, könig." you blurt out, not even thinking you did. your eyes were tired from the nonstop journey from flying to roaming about the lively streets of paris but it all reflected your words.

he stared at you for a while, a smile beneath his mask. he was about to say something when the elevator ding interrupted his thoughts that were already clouded with you.

you insisted on taking a shower first because, god, you felt disgusting and embarrassed sitting next to him while you were this smelly. once you got out, you notice how he doesn't wear the cloth on his head anymore as he waited for you and shimmied through the channels in a language he doesn't understand. he shortly followed after taking a bath, bumping his head by the shower multiple times; you giggled at the sound of his curses and the thumps he made.

the bed was king-sized, so it fits the two of you with enough room for personal space. it wouldn't bother you to sleep with him though as  you feel comfortable with him, knowing that you spent the entire day with him. him taking off the mask when it's only the two of you proved enough for him to trust you, so you could do the same.

könig on the other hand though, was a mess talking about it though. "a-are you sure?"

"100%, it's big enough for the two of us don't you think?" you plopped yourself down the bed, sinking in the sheets. "plus, you're not gonna fit that couch."

he complied awkwardly, not knowing how to position himself nor if he should touch you as he settled on that one spot on his side of the bed. you couldn't sleep while he was being uncomfortable so you sat up and tapped on his shoulder.

"is sleeping with me bothering you?"

he looked over his shoulder, a worried look on his face. "i might crush you or something, or i might touch you inappropriately, or i might-"

"hey." you placed a hand on his arm. "i already told you, könig. i agreed to this. i trust you, okay? you'll be fine." you gave him an assuring smile before telling him good night. you two slept soundly that night, tangled in each other's arms.

the next day, you two went to disneyland and spent the entire day there. going ride to ride, stuffing yourselves with character-themed foods, you and him competing in those booths that have prizes, betting on who will scream first during horror attractions, getting some souvenirs by the shops, and tiring yourselves out from the number of rides in this park. laughing alongside him while enjoying the fun of paris has brought you nothing but that fluttery feeling under your skin and that uncontrollable beat of your heart.

once sunset came, you two ended the day with a boat on one of the canals. an intimate ride where you two didn't notice your intertwined fingers. after buying some bottles of scotch and whiskey, you two made it back to the hotel for the night. he popped the bottles open, drinking from the bottle and sharing it with you.

"so, last day, huh?" you started, downing a sip. the tv in the background faintly dulling the silence.

"you gonna miss me?" he replied with a smile on his face as he winked at you, chewing on some chips you bought.

"hmm, maybe." you shrugged, reaching over for the chips. "it'd suck if we just left it here, though."

"left what here?" he raised a brow. "the mess?" he gestured at the untidy sight of your room.

"are you that dense, könig?" you huffed a frustrated sigh. the puzzled look on his face not faltering, still waiting for clarity from you. "jesus christ, men really are that fucking dumb, huh."

you placed the bottle down, leaned over to him and sat on his lap, placed a hand on his cheek while the other was at the back of his head, and collided lips with him. it went on for a while, you feel him suck in a breath from your actions, making you smile through it.

the kiss got deeper and you wrapped your arms around his neck, his massive hands settled on your waist to hold you as he returned your kiss. the taste of alcohol lulling you closer to him and drunkening the both of you even more.

you pulled away and touched foreheads with him. "so that's what you want, spatzi?" könig remarked, giving the corner of your lips a peck.

"how did that feel?"

"liberating." he replied, "do you maybe wanna..."

"go all the way?" you finished, "thought you'd never ask."

he chuckled before kissing you again, licking your lips, and exploring your mouth. he carried you effortlessly by your bum as he sat by the edge of the bed. only to be pushed down by you as he lied flat and watched you take your clothes off.

you rubbed your core on his clothed crotch, he sucked in a deep breath from the sensation whilst he returned  your kisses. not long after, he was in his boxers and you were only in your bra and underwear. after he discarded the last article of clothing on you and him, he roamed his hands across your body, especially the scar you showed him yesterday. he easily flipped you around and now, he was on top of you.

he leaned down and placed kisses on your chest where the scar began, the middle of your mounds, and down to your stomach where the scar ended. he went back to your face and placed kisses on your cheek then back on your lips, "you sure about this?"

you nodded as his final green light before he dipped down to your sopping crevice. he knelt down on the floor and pulled you closer to the edge of the bed by your thighs before he licked a long trail on your core. you hitched a breath, fisting the sheets as your legs trembled in his grasp. he had a fixed eye on you as he devoured your soaked core, he nibbled on your clit and sucked soundly on your folds while he played with the bundle of nerves on your mounds with his fingers. he took his time with you, he didn’t stop until your legs shook and stuttered as you reach your climax.

he soon came back to you, kissing you once more. your hand trailed down his toned torso, down to his firm length; you felt him shiver a bit at your touch as his lips stuttered on you. you smiled through the kiss and maneuvered him despite his size as you got on top of him. 

you soon admired the beauty of this man, as he lay bare before you. you notice him becoming self-conscious  as you stared at him for a long time that you hadn't realized that you were doing it for too long. "hey, don't get shy with me now. you know why i like staring at you so much?"

"why?" he shyly answered, hands awkwardly placed on your hips.

"because i like you, i like looking at you. i'm savoring the fact that your mask is off, that you're able to trust me with this. it must've been hard for you but you still agreed with me, right?" you said with a smile, a hand on his cheek as he leaned on your touch. 

you began peppering hickeys on his neck, across his chest and abdomen. kissing all of his scars across his chiseled body. until you reach his prodigious length, he grew shy as you wrapped your hands around it. you licked the tip, circling your tongue around it to get him going. until you gobbled him whole, a guttural moan escaping his lips as he threw his head back at the warmth of your mouth. simultaneously pumping his length whilst bobbing your head gave him the pleasure that penetrated every muscle in his body. beneath his abdomen, a ticklish feeling bubbling up that left his member twitching  in your throat. not long after, his sweet release shot ropes down your throat. 

as he unsurely positioned himself on you, he took a while to gaze at you and the comparable size of his length. he placed both of his arms to support his weight by your sides, lowering himself down to give you a peck on the cheek. “tell me if it hurts.” he assured with a smile before wedging his thick length down you. 

he pressed his forehead to yours as he slid in slowly, both of you hitching a breath at the first stretch of your tight cunt. the warm and teeming feel of how your walls tightly enveloped him as he slid further until the head of his length reached your cervix; you squealed at the sensation, he chuckled while tucking a hair in your ear. as he tried and started moving, trying to detect if he’s hurting you in any way while he’s balls deep in you. but the only thing he saw was how you shut your eyes tight and how carnal, melodious moans left your agape mouth. he took it as an opportunity to buck his hips back and forth, sliding his length to your entrance back to the end of where he first settled, his dog tag clinking by its chains in chorus with his filthy movements. 

it was pure fucking bliss to you, it’s like you’re high on some sort of drug. the overwhelming length of him and how he was panting just as heavy as you are from the unparalleled sensation you two are in right now. you pulled him by his dog tag and he met your lips, swallowing all your moans as hips simultaneously tried finding the rhythm you two are comfortable in. 

once you two pulled away, he gazed at how his length disappeared from your crevice from time to time then back at your face which was flushed red. he planted hickeys on your shoulder, playing with your mounds with his tongue, and left handprints on your rear. 

lost in the same ecstasy; you kept grazing your nails across his back with each sinful thrust, biting on his neck with each moan of your name that left his mouth, and clawing at his chest with how good he fills you up. it almost felt like time wasn’t running and you two didn’t care how loud you two are nor how feral the creaking of the bed sounded. 

soon after, you were now on top of him. you bounced on his lap slowly, it’s a rhythm you two got used to. his hands were settled on your waist while the other was on your rear, helping you keep up the motion. your hands were caressing one side of his cheek while the other rested on his chest to support yourself. you bent down where you can press foreheads with him once more as your hips moved up and down, gradually sliding up and down on his length in a manner that drove both of you crazy. you two exchanged breaths and moans at the turmoil of pleasure that lulled both of you to a drunken state of each other, no talking was needed as you both looked deeply into each other’s eyes with much fervor. beads of sweat started budding on the surface of your skin at your nonstop intercourse. 

“you’re sweating, schatz.” he whispered, grinning afterward when he wiped the beads of sweat on your forehead with the back of his hand.

“you’re one to talk, you’re panting like an animal in heat.” you returned, hoisting yourself up as you steadily sat on his length. “want to take a break, colonel?” you cockily raised a brow, hands roaming on the span of his chest.

“you’re just pushing it now, huh.” he sat up too, getting a firm hold of your waist. “that’s lieutenant colonel to you, major.” 

his swift moments almost made you stumble and fall if it weren’t for the large hands that supported you. “ready?” he whispered in your ear and before you could answer, he rammed into you so fast you couldn’t even so much as choke a word. your chest is on the verge of exploding from the unruly pace of his hips as he drilled deep in you. it went on for a while, crude moans that got your neighbors turning their heads and almost disturbing the both of you; it’s not like you’d stop for them though. you later ran out of breath and your body got limp from the overstimulation of his length.

you two just lay in the bed afterward. you were between his legs and he was behind you, rubbing your stomach gently while placing kisses on your neck. “didn’t know you were gonna give up that fast, name.”

you elbowed him as a response, “alright, i know i got too excited. not my fault you got too sexy. i had to do something, liebling.”

there was silence after a little laughter from the both of you, it then occurred to you his inevitable departure would not be too long from now. “hey, what time are you leaving?”

“they’d need me before the day ends.” he cleared his throat, a weighing feeling went back on his chest. “this is the first time i felt like i’d wanna bail on a mission.” he chuckled dryly, gazing at the peeking sun of dawn by the large windows of your hotel.

“we should probably get going now, don’t wanna miss our flight-” you planned on leaving his grasp to stand up and get ready, only to get pulled closer. 

“we can stay for a little more.” he mumbled. “please, mein liebe.” he buried his face deeper at the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent more until he grew tired of it. 

you smiled, complying with his request and staying like that for over half an hour. eventually, you two had to fly back to austria and make it to his headquarters there. it was an inevitable parting between the two of you. it’s not like this feeling is new to you, you knew very well what happens when dating a soldier. you became one and dated one. but this one was extra fucking sadder, you don’t know why but now that you saw what’s beneath that mask and mountain of clothes—you’d never want to let him go, you just had to protect him and give him all the love he deserves. 

you two now parked before the building of his headquarters. after saying bye to your cat, he finally dreaded saying goodbye to you. “come on, könig. it’s not like we’ll never see each other again. you’re not about to let yourself get killed, hm?” you lightheartedly tried calming him down. 

he didn’t say anything and hugged you, pulling you by your neck with one arm while the other held you close by the small of your waist. “i promise to come back, vögelchen. you keep yourself safe here, you got it?” he pulled away, a gentle hand on your cheek. 

“you’ve got some nerve ordering someone who ranked higher than you.” you hit him on the chest playfully. “i’ll keep my promise if you keep yours.” you fished out something in your pocket, it was your old dog tag and handed it to him. “okay?” you searched for any affirmations in his green eyes.

he plucked out his own dog tag from his neck and gave it to you instead, he wore what you gave him. “copy.” amidst the cloth, you can see the tears in his eyes form and cascade down his face. you gave him one last tight hug, got under his mask, and gave him a long, deep kiss before sending him off. he waved goodbye one last time before disappearing into the building. 

“so you found someone, huh?” horangi greeted him by the entrance. 

“quit the snooping and let’s get to the conference room, i’d like to make this shit quick.”

this is my first time writing for könig and cod, forgive my sins my senpais 😭🌷

[effy-writes]

Addict (Blitz x Reader)

(link above this is chapter’s)

5- Loo Loo Land: Best Frens 4 ever

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Can you lift your feet up please?" You leaned against the broom.

Loona rolled her eyes then lifted up her legs. You swept underneath her and then turned to get the other side of the room.

"Y/n! Come here!" Blitz sounded annoyed. You sat the broom down and dusted yourself off before entering Blitz's office.

"Yeah?"

Blitz put the phone on speaker, "Alright Stolas, she’s here."

Oh jeez.

"Why hello Y/n, haven't heard from you in a while. How come you're not picking up my texts?"

"Y/n lost her phone privileges, now what do you want?" Blitz said impatiently.

"Why did she lose her privileges?"

"Stolas, why the fuck did you call?" Blitz got closer to the phone.

You let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm taking my daughter to Loo Loo Land, and I was hoping you brave little Imps would accompany us!"

"We're assassins, not bodyguards, 'kay? Don't invite us to shit unless someone's gonna die."

"I'm a janitor." You groaned.

"Trust them on this one, she got hurt trying to run away from a woman with big tits and a shotgun."

"Because I'm a janitor!"

"Don't fight darlings. But i'll pay you-"

"Pay me what?" Blitz interrupted.

"Moneyyy-"

"Done!" Blitz happily slammed his phone down and grabbed out a megaphone.

"Blitz I don't know how to fight."

"I doubt he needs us but hey, money!" He started talking through the megaphone.

"M&M get in here! We're going to Loo Loo Land!"

Moxxie opened the door, "Loo Loo Land?"

Millie practically threw herself in the office, "Loo Loo Land!"

"Loo Loo Land!" Blitz harshly grabbed your shoulders and shook you.

~~

Everyone somehow managed to fit in Blitz's van. They all got out and stretched since it was so cramped in there.

Blitz walked over to Stolas, "Now, remember: this is work and work only. Me and my crew are not here to satisfy your perverted bird needs, alright?"

Octavia tried to get her dad's attention but Blitz interrupted her. "If you try fuckin' my little ass and make Y/n watch in that park, I swear to--"

"You are so cute when you are serious!"

Blitz huffed and watched you tap your foot up and down.

"Nervous?"

"What? No. Last time I joined you guys I got hurt."

"I told you I didn't mean to choke you until you passed out-"

"Not that you retar-... dumbass. I twisted my ankle and couldn't walk for two weeks."

"Oh right. Well try not to hurt your weak wittle ankles." He teased.

Millie was excitedly telling Moxxie about this place. She was jumping up and down and pointed at the things she remembers when she was a kid.

You smiled at Millie before turning your attention to Octavia and Loo Loo the mascot.

"This place reeks of insecure corporate shame." Octavia gagged.

Loo Loo turned to Blitz, "That chick's creepy, huh?"

"Eh, wait till her dad tries to diddle your holes, and then make you watch him diddle your best friend's hole."

You pinched the bridge of your nose out of annoyance. M&M was looking at some crazy expensive merch from this place.

"That much for a novelty cup that you use one time?"

"Cause it's Loo Loo Land!" Millie cheered.

"Listen to your hoe, Mox." Blitz took a swig from the novelty cup.

"When did you get that?" You pointed.

"When you weren't looking. How 'bout Y/n and I take the first watch while you two have a little fun." He winked.

Millie jumped up and down. "We gotta do my favorite ride!" She picked up Moxxie and started running to "The Lawsuit" roller coaster. You cringed at the sight before looking over at Blitz.

"Stop staring." He tossed the cup. "Now let's go protect this horny owl."

The two walked with Stolas and his daughter. Blitz had his gun ready while you were walking in front of the royal family.

Should've brought my broom. You laughed to yourself.

"It's quite thrilling to see you two on the job. Especially you Blitzy~"

"Why not Y/n?"

"Weapons turns me on." He whispered to Blitz, but you and Octavia could hear him.

Stolas gasped, "Look Via! You used to cry such tears of joy at this show!"

"Oh no." She panicked.

"Fizz is a robot?" You asked, with a confuse look on your face.

"Not exactly." Blitz scoffed.

You know nothing about the discord between Blitz and Fizz. You knew that Fizz got hurt real bad because of the news, but doesn't know the drama between the two.

"Oh Blitzy! I need my bodyguard please!"

Annoyed, Blitz shoots the imps that was trying to take him and he carried Stolas inside the tent. You were in front of Octavia to "protect" her since you have no idea on what you're doing.

Blitz groaned as he saw Robo Fizz enter onto the stage, but you were smiling ear to ear.

"Why do you look so eager?"

"I haven't seen him since...my addiction got bad." You whispered.

"That's not him, you do know that right? Did the meth make your brain smooth?"

"Shut the fuck up Blitz." You gritted through your teeth. "I know it's not him, but...he was like a brother to me." You frowned.

Blitz was going to bring it up again about your past addiction because he's upset and got hurt by you. He knows that you know this, but for some reason he wants to keep reminding you even though it hurts him to do so, but he doesn't know that he's indeed hurting you.

"Oh how delightful!" Stolas clapped at the end of the song.

Another imp tried to stab Stolas, but Blitz quickly shot him.

"Oh, my! What aim you have, Blitzy!" He flirted.

"Ugh! I can't do this anymore!" Octavia shouted before running away, Stolas followed her and kept calling her name.

You were feeling weird about this situationship although you agreed to partake in Blitz and Stolas' fucking, but it seems as if Stolas is liking Blitz more. You're actually fine by that, but you can't keep your head around it. You've been best friends with Blitz for the longest time and even grew up with each other. You left him for your own selfish desires, haven't called him/checked up on him since the days before the fire. Then 15 years later you're living with him, as well as having to fuck an owl prince.

You snapped back into reality whenever you saw Blitz shooting Robo Fizz.

"Oohoohoo! Someone's salty! Real or not, though, people lo-o-ove me! Does anybody love you... Blitzo?"

You looked at him, waiting on his answer.

"No. But, I'm really good with guns now. Dance, bitch!"

You knew that was going to be the answer. You huffed then abruptly got up and left the tent, dying to get your hands onto some stimulants.

A loud explosion was heard as you felt heat rising. You quickly turned your head. "Oh shit."

The fire spread to all corners of the park. "Blitz!" You shouted out of fear and not out of anger this time.

You saw Blitz and Robo Fizz fighting and relaxed a bit before shrugging. I'm sure he can handle this on his own.

You started walking towards the van to drive it a tad bit further away so it won't get caught on fire. Instead of leaving, you just stayed in his van, rummaging through the trash and looking in the dash board.

"Come on Blitz...you gotta have something."

You found a wadded up piece of paper in his dashboard before unfolding it and slouched in the drivers seat.

It was a poorly drawn drawing you gave to him whenever you first joined the circus. You drew Blitz on a tight rope that was holding you up with one hand. The words at the top was written in crayon and said "Best frens 4 ever!"

Tears welded in your eyes. "He still kept it?" The van doors abruptly opened.

"Drive!" Blitz yelled as he got in the passenger seat. Moxxie and Millie quickly jumped in the back and slammed the doors shut.

"Where's Stolas and Via?"

"Going to some store I said drive, bitch drive!"

You balled up the paper and stuffed it down your shirt, slamming on the gas to get out of this park.

Why did he keep it?

[babyhedonistt]

Too Close To Touch // TWO

Warnings : Smut, Mental despair,

"Good going." Jolly scoffs, nearly hitting his nose on the door when you slammed it shut. Jolly has always been protective of you, so the fact Noah just made you storm out and quit the tour really boiled his blood to say the least.

Ruffilo pinched the bridge of his nose sighing deeply, and Noah seemed almost unphased. His mouth was pushed into a straight line and his jaw clenched with regret when the reality of not having a drummer set in his stomach.

"We need a fucking drummer, Noah." Ruffilo whispers. Noah doesn't say anything and pulls his phone from his back pocket. "No." Jolly plucks Noah's phone from his hand. "Hey-"

"You aren't texting your way out of this one. You haven't respected Y/N since she temporarily joined this band, and it blows my mind considering how close you two used to be." Jolly scolds him and struck a nerve.

Noah's adam's apple bobbed before he took a deep breath. "Just drop it and I'll go talk to her."

"She's probably outside smoking. An uber can't come this fast and the tour bus won't take just her without the rest of us." Ruffilo chimed in.

Jolly handed Noah back his phone and made a mental note as Noah left the dressing room, of the news article he had accidentally opened from your text conversation with Noah when he snatched the phone of his hand.

"You know I'll beat some sense into him if he's still bothering you Y/N." Folio voice states, coming out of your phone.

"Respectfully, I think the only thing stopping you from doing that is your height dude." You chuckle, flicking some of the ash off the butt of your cigarette.

"Ha ha. You're hilarious. I'm trying to get better as fast as I can. You did great up there tonight though." He compliments. Your lip quivered as tears began to well in your eyes. "Really?"

"Yeah. Don't give me a run for my money though." He chuckles. "I'll talk to you soon, okay? I love you" Folio assures you. You nod into the receiver before putting out your cigarette with your boot. "Love you too."

The line goes dead before you wipe your eyes and sniffle back the sadness you had pent up all day before the closing of the outside door causes you to jump and grab your chest.

"No, I'm not hearing him out Jol--"

He stood there. His tall frame towering over you as he stood in gym shorts, slides and his infamous black hoodie. This version of him looked a little more normal. More like the Noah you remember. This version of him almost had a calming effect on you.

It always does until he opens his damn mouth.

"Looks like you couldn't stay away." He sighs, cracking his neck.

"You have literally three seconds before I punch you square in your jaw."

He holds his large hands up, shaking his hands before taking a few steps towards me. You take an equivalent number of steps back before his eyebrows crease. "Don't do that."

"Do what?" You ask, keeping your eyes trained on him, only being able to see his features by the dimness of the alley light above the both of you. "Acting like you're nervous around me." He says

"Oh. I wish it was acting." You reply, pulling your phone out of your pocket, prepping it to call Jolly on speed dial.

"You can't still be mad about--"

"Don't even bring that up right now Noah. Hearing those words come out of your mouth right now is the last thing I want to relive right now. " You felt your eyes well with water again as you smother the confidence to stand in his presence alone and on this topic.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." He speaks. He feels confident enough to take another step towards you, and this time you let him approach you. Usually, when it came to Noah Sebastian, you could tell when he was lying. His hands would be locked together, the top of his foot would be tucked behind his ankle, and he would avoid eye contact at all costs.

This time, his eyes were drilling holes into your skull, and just like the last time he made this type of eye contact with you, you were beneath him, naked.

You felt your breath catch in your chest as he continued to apologize. "We need you on this tour, without Folio, it's been really hard and I'm just not used to having someone in his place. Let alone his sister."

He stuck his hands in the pockets of his shorts as he attempted to read you for any sort of reaction. You wanted to yell at him. His lame attempt of trying to pass you off as ' Folio's Sister ' was absolutely pathetic. But what can you expect coming from him?

"Why don't we make a deal?" You spit and you could visibly see his ears perk up and his eyebrows reach his hairline. He slightly nods in acknowledgement. You take a step closer to him, with your arms folded across your chest, looking up at him, the back of your head almost touching the base of your neck.

"I'm listening." He mumbles, his eyes slowly moving from your eyes,

to your neck.

to your chest..

your stomach....

all the way down your body.

"You give me no more grief on this tour, and I'll promise that you won't have to see me ever again after it's over."

Your eyes squinted up at him. This man was so good at hiding his facial expressions, he would pass any lie detector test.

You hold out your hand for him to shake. He doesn't move his head, but his gaze looks down at your hand. "And if I disagree?" He inquires, a tilt of a smirk tugging at his lips as you felt the familiar nausea settle at the base of your stomach.

"You don't get to, just like I didn't get to." You force his hand into yours to shake, and he takes your hand, spinning you around so your back was against his front, and he wraps his arms around you, locking you in, his face falling next to yours, his lips grazing your ear.

"You're much more than his sister. You and I both know that, and I'm sorry it has to be this way." He whispers, before placing an airy kiss on the cartilage of your ear, and letting you go before going back inside out of the cold night.

You hurl your phone at the door before squatting down and hugging your legs, shaking from a combination of the cold and the images deciphering in your memory.

You hate him

You hated him so much.

To be continued............ hehe

[newtthetranswriter]

Could I get uhhh a motherfuckin uhhhh Choso x reader?? Maybe she’s one of Yuji’s friends that he introduces him to 👀 or maybe she even packs him up in a fight 👀 idk anything is better than this 😭

Paring: Choso x reader kinda

Word count:2180

Summary: Yuji introduces you to Choso and they explain how they are brothers, also teaching Choso how to use a phone cause he’s like 150 years old and probably worse with technology then captain america.

Warnings: some manga spoilers regarding Yuji and Choso obviously, shit writing, that’s about it.

A/n: The Shibuya incident did happen but ended better. It’s not as long as I wanted but I slept for nearly 20 hrs yesterday and totally forgot where I was going to take it and figured this is better than nothing. If you like it and want more, I could maybe do a part two. Let me know how you like it. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

I’m going to meet up with Yuji at a coffee shop because he insisted he had someone he wanted me to meet. I don’t know why he didn’t just bring this someone to jujutsu tech, but whatever. I’ve been really close with Yuji since he joined Jujutsu tech, it never really bothered me that he was the vessel of Sukana. Yuji was just really easy to get along with so whoever he wants me to meet can’t be that bad. 

When I finally reached the predetermined coffee shop I spotted Yuji sitting with a guy wearing white and purple. His hair was up in what looked like two pony tails, although it still stuck up in every direction. I couldn’t see his face because his back was to me, but I could tell by the way he was sitting he was average height and rather lean.

I was snapped out of my thoughts looking at the stranger by Yuji jumping up and calling out to me. “Y/n, over here. I already got you a F/d.” I smiled and made my way over sitting down next to my friend with two toned hair.

“Thank you Yuji. Now introduce me to your friend here.” I said finally looking at the face of the stranger. He had dark purple eyes that were focused on something outside the window, they were truly beautiful. But the most striking thing about his handsome appearance was the mark stretching across the bridge of his nose. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

Yuji set his own coffee down before introducing the handsome man across from me. “Y/n this is Choso, Choso this Y/n. He is technically my half brother.” Yuji said as if he hadn’t dropped a bomb on me. I was really confused, since when did Yuji have a brother, I thought he was an only child.

I finally looked away from the man sitting across from me, to give Yuji a bewildered look. “What do you mean he’s ‘technically’ your half brother. In the half a year I have known you, you have never said anything about having a half brother.” I was really trying to wrap my head around this. Yuji Itadori had a half brother who just so happened to be extremely attractive.

“Well, I only just found out he’s my brother recently. But hey it’s good news, I have more family.” Yuji said happy that he still has family out there. I was still confused as I slowly took a sip of the drink Yuji had bought for me.

It was silent for a moment before a new voice spoke up. “He’s right, I had no idea he was my little brother until I almost killed him during the Shibuya incident. I felt a connection exactly like the one I felt when he killed my brothers a few months prior. That’s the only thing that saved him.” Ok, now I'm even more confused. This guy tried to kill Yuji because Yuji killed his brothers, but ultimately didn’t because he felt a connection to him before he could actually do it.

Sensing my confusion Yuji started to stand up saying “We should have just done this at Jujutsu Tech, It’s hard to explain and I don’t want someone thinking we’re crazy.” Me and Choso nodded in agreement before we stood up and left the coffee shop.

“If you knew this was going to be confusing, why did you want to do it at a coffee shop full of non-sorcerers?” I asked as we walked back to the school in almost complete science.

Yuji just shrugged. I guess he probably wasn’t thinking about that at the time, he did ask me relatively early in the morning so he was probably just thinking of getting some good caffeine instead of the fact that this conversation was going to be weird and hard to process.

After about thirty minutes of walking we made it to the school. “Let’s go sit by the training field, no-one's going to be over there right now.” I suggested leading the way there.

When we arrived at the field I sat down in the grass watching as the two boys sat across from me, before Yuji started an attempt at explaining everything to me. “So back in September me, Fushiguro, and Kugisaki were sent to investigate a curse that was taking people from this bridge in a small town. When we got there Fushiguro figured out the curse spirit was under the bridge, and had one of Sukana’s fingers. We had gone down to fight the curse in hopes of getting the finger but in the middle of the fight, what we assumed were just two more cursed spirits showed up and knocked me and Kugisaki out of the first curse’s domain. We then proceeded to fight the two with everything we had. After a lot of struggling we finally beat them. I didn’t know who they were at the time, I didn’t know they were Curse hybrids, they were just curses trying to hurt us and take Sukana’s finger.” He explained what happened at least with these two curse hybrids whatever that means. But I have no clue what that has to do with any of this.

I could see Choso looking almost angry as Yuji talked about what happened at the bridge. “Choso are you okay? Do you need anything?” I asked hoping there was something I could do to help.

“No, I’m fine. What my brother failed to mention was that those two hybrids were my brothers. I too am a curse hybrid made by Noritoshi Kamo, who experimented on my mother creating me and my brothers. I felt it when Yuji killed my little brothers and was furious. I decided to get revenge during the attack on Shibuya. I was close to killing him when I felt the same thing I had when my brothers had died. At that moment I knew Yuji was my half brother and decided I would fight alongside him to stop Noritoshi Kamo, who became the Cursed spirit Kenjaku.” Choso explained what happened during the attack on Shibuya. 

I looked at the curse hybrid, still not understanding how that makes them brothers. Okay Choso felt a connection but how does that prove anything.  “Okay so, other than this Kenjaku thing being your dad? How does it make Yuji your brother?” I asked, trying to get more information.

Choso rolled his eyes but still proceeded to tell me the rest. “Kenjaku has stayed alive for over a century by possessing different human corpses. It seems that at some point he had possessed the corpse of Yuji’s human mother, before having my little brother. Does that make sense?”

I nodded slowly grasping what was being said. So my best friend was the product of a curse possessing a corpse and having a kid, that’s honestly not the weirdest thing I’ve heard being a Jujutsu sorcerer. “That kind of makes sense but the two things I still don’t get, one if Kenjaku has been around for over a century, how old are you Choso? And why did Yuji want us to meet?” I said the last bit looking towards the young sorcerer.

“I’m over 150 years old, though for most of that I was a cursed object. Recently the curse Mahito gave me and my two brothers bodies, hoping we would help in Kenjaku’s plan.” Choso said, answering the question about his age. I suppose that makes sense, so I turned back to Yuji waiting for him to answer the question I had asked him.

He just blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I thought you guys would get along. I forgot that I would have to explain everything, and just wanted Choso to make some friends.” He leaned closer to me covering the side of his face before adding “He doesn't like to talk a lot. This is the most I've heard him talk to anyone other than me.”

I chuckled as Choso rolled his eyes at his younger brother. “I can hear you ya know.” 

“It’s fine, I think it’s sweet that he’s trying to help you out. Anyway is there anything else I’m needed for, as Yuji, you interrupted my beauty sleep for this. While I truly enjoyed meeting you Choso and hearing your story I would like to get some more sleep.” I asked as I stood from the grass wiping off my pants.

Yuji looked up at me before responding. “You’re good to go, thanks for waking up early for this. Sorry for being dumb.” I smiled down at him before turning to Choso.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I enjoyed talking with you, maybe next time we can go for a coffee without pinky over here.” I said, jabbing a finger in Yuji’s direction, laughing at the confused ‘huh’ that left his mouth at the comment.

I watched as Choso blushed slightly trying to cover it by turning his face away from me. “Yeah, it was nice meeting you too, Y/n. And I would like that.” 

Leaving with one final wave I couldn’t help but hope that my next meeting with the purple eyed sorcerer would happen sooner than later.

I woke up later that day from my nap and checked my phone. The first thing I saw was a text message from an unknown number.

From Unknown number: Hey, it's choso. My little brother forced me to get this thing and then gave me your number. I don’t know what i'm doing but apparently it’s like writing a letter but you get it right away. Anyway againthis is choso.

I laughed reading the message. Of course Yuji got him a phone and he doesn't understand how to use it. I quickly added his number to my phone before responding.

To Choso: Hi Choso, it was nice of Yuji to get you a phone. I’m guessing he didn’t explain it very well. If you want we can meet up later and I can help you figure it out.

After about five minutes I received a response.

From Choso: Please, I have no clue what I���m doing.

I smiled, glad that he accepted my offer and was also excited to talk to him without Yuji. I quickly sent a text asking him to meet me at the training field where we spoke earlier, before getting up to put on something other than the pajamas I had on for my nap.

I got to the field about fifteen minutes later and saw Choso sitting in the middle fiddling with something, probably his new phone. I walked up to him and sat down. “Hey, what all do you need help with?” I asked.

He jumped slightly not expecting me to be there, having been too focused on the electronic in his hands. “Oh, hi. Um, everything. I don’t get it, my little brother just gave me this, showed me how to type, and told me to text your number which he put in the phone. He didn’t explain anything about it other than that really.” He said with a slight blush, it was obvious he was embarrassed by his lack of knowledge when it came to technology.

I reached out my hand motioning for him to hand me the phone. When he finally placed it in my hand I leaned over and started showing him how to use it. I went over how to make phone calls, and add contacts. I also showed him how to work the camera and how to use google.

After about an hour of answering his questions about how to use the phone and make it work, we ended up just talking and getting to know each other. For one I learned that during his time as a cursed object he was self aware and able to master his cursed technique to a level beyond that of his distant relative who also wields Blood Manipulation.  And I told him about growing up as the odd one who didn’t fit in because I could see cursed spirits while no one else around me could.

It was getting late and I decided it was probably time to call it a night. “Well it’s late, I should be getting to bed. I had fun talking with you. Maybe we can do it again sometime?” I said with a smile as I stood up from the grass.

He just looked up and nodded at me, before he started to get up as well. “Have a goodnight Y/n” he said before turning and walking away.

“Goodnight Choso, and don’t forget if you need help with anything feel free to ask me.” I called after him, heading back to my dorm. I couldn’t help but smile looking back on the events of the day. I really did enjoy hanging out with Choso, and I hope we can do it again soon. It sounds cheesy but I feel like we really have a connection.

[mikeandikeschmidt]

FNAF Movie! Incorrect Quotes (Part 3)

ABBY: I wanna walk home

MIKE: I'll join you. I'm always game for a brisk walk. Also, if I leave you alone, I'm pretty sure you'll die.

***

VANESSA: So, are we friends?

MIKE: I guess.

VANESSA: You sure?

MIKE: Sure.

VANESSA: ...Should we kiss?

MIKE: No.

Because there's still a small chance they could be siblings and I like their friendship

***

MIKE: You read my journal?

ABBY: At first, I didn't know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

***

VANESSA: Have I ever let you down?

MIKE: Do you want me to answer that or should I just glare?

***

ABBY: You promised you'd stop drinking milk in the shower!

MIKE: Stop trying to change me!

***

VANESSA: If Abby jumped off a bridge, would you do the same thing?

MIKE, sighing and getting ready to jump off: Yes. She can't swim.

***

ABBY: Mike, you love me, right?

MIKE: Normally I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won't like.

***

[Shortly after what happened to Garrett]

MIKE's Teacher: You are very mature for your age.

Younger!MIKE: Thank you, it's the trauma.

***

MIKE: Everybody's tragic backstory gave them mad skills, and all I got was trust issues and anxiety.

***

CASSIDY: Are you the chosen one?

MIKE: I'm very much the guy who's here

***

DOUG: How much stuff do you need to be happy?

AUNT JANE: Gee, I don't know...how much stuff is there?

***

WILLIAM: Why do you think I'm incapable of doing anything nice?

VANESSA: Experience.

***

AUNT JANE: I love it when you get your comeuppance

MIKE: I love it when you shutuppance

***

ABBY: Hey, what does coffee taste like?

MIKE: Not as good as it smells.

ABBY: Oh, like shampoo.

***

MIKE: Why do people say, 'you'll understand better when you're older'?

MIKE: I'm older now, and I understand nothing

***

AUNT JANE: You're really aiming to be jerk of the year, huh?

MIKE: As reigning champion, are you nervous?

***

MIKE: Don't forget to take a scarf. It’s going to be pretty cold today

ABBY: I love you too.

***

VANESSA: What, I can't be in a bad mood? It's like people think, "Oh, Vanessa is such a nice girl, Vanessa is so happy-go-lucky! Vanessa can't be in a bad mood!" Well, you know what? Vanessa CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Vanessa is in a very bad mood.

***

AUNT JANE: Degenerate

MIKE: Blocked

AUNT JANE: Unblock me! I got to tell you something important!!

MIKE: Fine, unblocked

AUNT JANE: DEGENERATE!

***

ABBY: Mike won't wake up after he took those pills. What do I do now?

CASSIDY: Did you try kicking him?

ABBY: Just like you suggested

CASSIDY: Then I'm out of ideas.

***

ABBY: Hey, if you put "violently" in front of saying what you're doing, it becomes 100% funnier

VANESSA: Violently dances

MIKE: Violently sleeps

WILLIAM: Violently stabs people.

MIKE: ...Violently worries about the previous comment.

***

MIKE: I don't know about this, Abbs, it's pretty dark in there.

ABBY: Don't worry, I got this.

ABBY: *stomps her feet then her Skechers light up*

***

VANESSA, walking in: What are you doing?

MIKE: Abby's making me watch this horror film about two ex-convicts who try to rob and murder a neglected child.

*Home Alone plays on the TV in the background*

***

AUNT JANE: If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee

DOUG, internally: If I were your husband, I'd drink it

***

[When Vanessa was a kid]

WILLIAM: *sharpens knife* We got ways of making you talk.

VANESSA:

WILLIAM: *cuts piece of cake*

VANESSA: ...can I have some?

WILLIAM: Cake is for talkers.

***

ABBY, at 3 a.m.: If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of the chickens, then that means you're a chicken tender

MIKE, staring wide-eyed at the ceiling:

***

[Basically, the career counselor scene]

WILLIAM: I can excuse killing children, but I draw the line at not being able to hold a job

MIKE: You can excuse killing children...?!

***

[dotster001]

hiii i love your for tuna series!!! your writing is so awesome!!

i saw that your requests where open so

is it okay if i request y/n/yuu meeting their friend from their world in twisted Wonderland? it could go really angsty or be like really funny.

Lean on Me

A/N: hey nonnie. I had a rough week, so I went for funny. I refer to friends as Friend One, and friend two, so you can fill in whoever you want.

Special thanks to@wolken-himmel for allowing me to live out my fantasies, and use her oc Esme. 😁 This is me formally asking for your blessing for our wedding.

3k followers masterlist

It  had started as a normal day. Well sort of. It wasn't often the RSA students were allowed on NRC turf without being murdered. Azul Ashengrotto, ever the business man, was hosting an RSA/NRC karaoke night at the lounge.

You wouldn't have even gone…but you heard he would be there.

Esme Devance. The prettiest man you had ever seen. If he asked you to jump off a bridge, you'd do it, just to get a glimpse of that mischievous smile.

And the way your first year friends insisted he was terrible and you shouldn't even look at him, you knew he might be a little interested in you as well.

You sipped a glittering purple drink, and saw his distinct head of hair, held back by a purple bandana, move through the crowd. You walked over to him.

"Well, I'll be. Didn't think you show your face here, Esme Devance."

He turned around with a grin. "I brought a bodyguard. But they'll double as a decoy when I ask you to sing with me. Y/N, meet our hero. Friend One." 

As friend one turned to greet you, you dropped the glass in your hand, shattered glass, and purple liquid spreading quickly around your feet.

"Y/N! You're here too?" They gasped, moving to hug you tightly.

"How can this be happening? Are you even real?"

"So all three of us are here?"

"Three?!?!"

Friend one pulled out his phone, which you quickly noticed was far nicer than yours, and flashed a pic of them with Friend Two in front of Noble Bell.

"What!" You shouted.

"I tried to convince their headmaster to transfer them to RSA so that the two, now three, of us non magic people could be comfortable, byt it was a no go."

You remembered Esme was here, and looked up at him, his head tilted to the side.

"Now that I think about it, how did no one put the fact that you both showed up from another dimension, on the same day, together?"

It…it did seem kind of stupid. But considering your headmage was incompetent, and didn't even know about Friend One, you could wave that one away.

"Well, we have space in Ramshackle, if you want to transfer here."

Both friend one and Esme grimaced.

"Look, Y/N. It's not about you or anything. It's just, I have kind of a bias towards RSA, and would rather you transfer there."

"I would like that too," Esme grinned, and friend one noticed the crush for the first time.

"Well I'd have to bring my cat," you pouted, leaving out the riot that would start if you tried to leave.

"Cat?"

The timing couldn't have been more perfect said cat and your friends to start yelling your name and shoving students out of their way.

"Y/N!"

"Hench human, we need you! Desperately!" Grim said with a growl as he crawled his way up your front, hissing at Esme for good measure.

"I'm going through something right now. What could you possibly need?" You groaned, scratching Grim's ears out of habit.

"Um…" he and the other first years, save for Jack who seemed wildly embarrassed, shared scared glances.

"We didn't get that far…" Epel muttered, earning an elbow in the side from Ace.

"Uh huh. Well friends, this is friend one. From my world."

Their eyes all widened. Deuce grabbed your arm.

"Does that mean you can go home? Please don't go, prefect!"

"Human! I will chain you down if I have to!"

"No fucking way can you leave in the middle of the year!"

You made eye contact with friend one, mouthing 'help'. Meanwhile, friend one took a step behind Esme. Maybe transferring to RSA wouldn't be that bad….

"No! Friend One has been here as long as I have! So we have to ask Crowley if he knows what that could mean!"

"We should get Friend Two over here. This concerns them as well." 

"Yeah cause it's so easy to just pop on over for a visit," you rolled your eyes.

Esme and friend one shared a side eye.

"Don't worry about it," they said, calling friend two 

….

"Heh heh, well, you see, it's meant to be an exchange program of sorts."

"Sorry?"

"Right now, three mages are attending college at a non magical university."

The three of you stared, jaws on the floor. Finally, friend one asked what was on all your minds.

"Isn't this illegal? Like aren't we supposed to fill out paperwork, and give consent for an exchange program?"

"Did the mages give consent? Are they even still alive? Our world has a tendency to cut things open that it doesn't understand," friend two's voice was laced with concern.

"They were alive and well last we checked."

'Wait! You can check! So we're not fucking stuck here!"

'Sevens!" All three of you shouted.

"Aw look how well they've adapted to the culture!" Crowley said with a sob.

"This whole project is about peace!" Ambrose, headmage of RSA, said, as though it explained everything.

"Why did you lie then?" You said loudly, your other two friends nodding vigorously.

"You certainly would have tried to return home!" Crowley said, Ambrose nodding sagely.

"Duh, we're not stupid," friend two pouted. 

"But think of all the friends you've made along the way!"

"The number of things you've guilted me into, when it was your fault all along, are staggering," you growled, causing the very brave Crowley to flinch in his seat.

"We want to go home. I'm pretty sure you dropped me into some kind of weird religious cult," Friend Two said, the tears rising to their eyes.

"Okay, let's all calm down," Friend One said. "We  don't actually want to go home, we just want to transfer Y/N and friend two to RSA."

"Okay, honestly? I don't know how I feel about going to live with a bunch of rich pricks. I really want you two to transfer to NRC."

"I want to go home!"

"And I am not transferring to a place where my own classmates hypnotize me and lock me in their rooms for nefarious reasons!"

"Where did you even hear that?"

"Your red headed friend told me!"

"Home, home, home!"

Ambrose and Crowley, meanwhile, were allowing the three of you to fight, as they slowly snuck out of the room, heaving a sigh of relief, as they leaned against the closed door.