#hey did you know that we have these things called brain cells? might be fun for you to try using them

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

hey since it's coming up again: no it's not a good thing that the government wants to ban tiktok. no you should not be glad that the government might ban tiktok. no you should not respond to this with "good riddance" or "hurry up I hate that app". I should not have to explain this to you but the government banning a social media app is still a bad thing even if you don't like the UI or booktok or having to say "unalive" or how you think it's killing the very notion of attention spans. It's still bad. It's bad.

[naurimastaur]

Gingerism

Summary: In which George and Fred devise a plan to trick y/n into admitting their feelings for George

Pairing: George weasley x nonbinary!reader

Tw: my attempt at writing xx

Please don’t take this seriously this one is just for fun!

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“Georgie?” Fred called out smacking the back of George’s head in the process. “Are you going to sit there like a stupid git for the rest of your life staring at them, or are you actually going to do something about it?” George sort of fancied his best friend y/n. They were awkward. He was awkward. It was a mess.

“I dunno, I just, what If I ruin everything?” He replied defeated, an almost foreign response coming from the twins, who in their approach to everything, were annoyingly cocky.

“I don’t doubt that,” Fred replied unhelpful. It was in his nature to be a dickhead at all times.“But this is y/n we’re talking about! We’ll just ban them from the burrow or something if they say no.” There was a reason no one went to the twins for advice.

George looked to his brother, deadpan. Fred looked back, grinning.

“ Or,” he suddenly lit up, an idea brewing in his head. “what if we get our hands on some of that amortentia thing? Say we need their help and before you know it theyre all blah blah blah dreamy George smell and we’ll know!!!!” It was almost certainly a failing plan, but it was better than anything George had in mind and sadly he shared his brother’s brain cells. Or lack thereof.

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“ OI y/n!” Fred called out. “ George and I are testing out a new product and we would be honoured if you and your royal nose gave it a try. It’s a real business investment!” His accent mocking that of a commercial salesman from the muggle tvs.

“Fred Weasley if you think I’d willingly stick my face anywhere near something you have made, you are a bigger idiot than you make yourself out to be,” they responded. Having been best friends with the twins for five years, they had long learnt their lesson on trust and why exactly not to place it in gingers. They gave one last unimpressed look and walked away.

Fred and George shared a look. Perhaps if they actually thought plans through they wouldn’t be in this position right now.

“ Well hey!” Fred said “ At least they spoke to you! That’s a step!”

“No you git, they spoke to you.”

“ Yes but you look like me so it’s all the same,” Fred replied, once again trying to lighten the mood. “ What if we get Hermione to try it? They won’t suspect anything if it comes from her.” Thus another plan equally as devastating was formed.

It only took a couple of hours of threats and promises no one intended to keep to get Hermione on board. She agreed based on the terms that the twins would leave her alone to revise after. Short time pain for long term gain some would say.

“Hey y,n!” Hermione smiled ever as friendly, walking over to where y/n was in the great hall. “Im sorry to bother you but we’ve been assigned this potion and I can’t seem to figure out the ingredients. I was thinking since you’re a fifth year you might know them?” Hermione was as good at lying as the twins were at making plans.

“ The twins didn’t set you up for this did they?” Y/n replied unconvinced.

“ No! Merlin no! I’m really stressed over this y/n and I really thought you could help me but if you can’t take me seriously I’ll ask elsewhere.” Maybe Hermione wasnt that bad after all.

“Oh no I’m sorry! Of course I’ll help. Alright I smell rain and-,” they paused after seeing a tuft of ginger hair appearing from under one of the tables from the corner of their eye, a pair of brown eyes following, most certainly that of Fred weasley. Hermione, the brightest witch of her age, seemed to have fallen victim to a Weasley scheme. Depressing. Y/n decided they weren’t going to let themself miss out on the fun.

“And?” Hermione near shouted, clearly trying to direct the attention back to herself but forgetting human social skills in the process.

“And-Oh! This last smell is kind of like husky?” They said uncertain. “I totally get why you couldn’t figure it out. I’m so sure I’ve smelt it before though.” Hermione quickly responded with a ‘mhm’, unsure where this was going and uninterested all the same.

“Oh I know! This smells like Snape’s hair! I can almost taste the grease,” they replied with the most genuine smile they could manage. They had nothing against Hermione, but this awkward, subtle form of revenge was far more entertaining than they had anticipated.

Hermione paused, clearly filled with regret and remorse for what she had inserted herself into. “You-.” She exhaled before starting again. ”You know what professor Snape’s hair smells like?” She replied cringing but slightly curious. Maybe she could buy the professor shampoo or something to get on his good side, after all Gryffindor needs all the house points they can get.

“Oh yeah I’ve taken a couple of sniffs before when he wasn’t looking,” y/n grinned. ”Do you think he noticed?” Now Hermione was just disturbed. She stared blankly at y/n before taking the potion from their grasp and walking away. This is what she gets for choosing to socialise instead of revising.

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Waiting in the common room was George, an accomplished grin set on his face when Hermione walked in, which slowly faded when he saw her face. Not that that wasn’t his usual reaction when he saw the know-it-all.

“So?” He questioned fishing for a response. “How’d it go?”

Hermione stared blankly back at him.

“Unless you’re professor snape it seems they dont have any interest.”

George was really beginning to regret his existence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: this was way longer than I had anticipated and was also marinating in the drafts much like the nits in Snape’s hair <3

While you’re here check out a prank to die for

@thescrunkler

[ratskinsuit]

can I request a adhd!reader x any character (pls not Valentino or vox..) any gender

Hazbin Hotel Characters With An ADHD!Reader Headcannons

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A/N: Since I don’t get much info (I’m so sorry) I just decided to do heacanons. Now I don’t do mental disorder specific readers because I don’t wanna mess things up, but I personally have ADHD so I can do this. Although these may be self projecting a bit with my experience so I’m so sorry if it’s not okay.

———————————————————————

Charlie: Also has ADHD (Its just my personal headcanon, it may not be your personal one and that’s okay)

You two honestly can’t be together when you have something to do

Like you won’t get anything down when your together

Because the two of you just feed off each others energy and get distracted the entire time

Vaggie has to physically separate you two so you can focus

Forgetfulness

You could misplace you phone and ask her “Hey Charlie can you call my phone, I dunno where it is.”

And she will just be like “I don’t know where mine is either.” 😭

You two honestly share one single brain cell and switch it every other day (as an ADHD person I can confirm we do this with friends)

Vaggie: Keeps you focused

Okay so If you get distracted a lot she will be there yo try ti get you to focas

Mrs girl has fidgets and things to help you stay on tasks if they gel, if they don’t however,

Well she will try her best

Literally like the mother to you and Charlie so you two don’t do something stupid and he introuble

Melatonin is her best friend

If she can’t calm you down and it’s important, melatonin (unless you take medication)

She makes sure to keep track of all your stuff just incase you forget where you placed it

“Hey Vaggie, do you know where my-“

*Holds out your phone* it was on the kitchen counter

If you take medication (bcs for some people it lowers you appetite) she will remind you to eat.

Alastor: Doesn’t really understand; teases you

When you first tell him you have ADHD his old ass is just like

“Erm, my dear what’s that?”

Thinks you might be crazy till you explain

He honestly finds your energy and do-before-think attitude amusing

Does get pissed when he’s talking to you and you get distracted or forget what he was saying though

Finds it hilarious when Vaggie tries to get you to focus on things

Will finds diff ways to distract you, making it harder for Vaggie

Just enjoys the chaos of your energy

If you take medication for it he may or may not hide occasionally it just to see the chaos unfold (Before you come at me: he . Is . In . Hell . For . A . Reason)

Unless HE needs you to focas

Then you better be focused

Angel Dust: Loves hanging out with you

You two are probubly best friends fr

LOVES your energy because he finds it so fun

You two just go hang out and wander the streets, laughing and giggling together

He’s fine with the distracting and forgetfulness part, he knows it happens

Makes sure you eat. Eat or he will make you.

Honestly he’s just really understanding and knows that it’s hard for you to be able to control it

(Plz send best friend requests for him I did headcanons and I love writing best friend Angel)

While he does understand and love your energetic-ness, he also makes sure that you don’t act ok impulse TOO much

Like, stops you from making rash decisions that could hurt you in the future

Late night sleepovers

You two on the couch packing yourselves full of sugar and watching movies

Husk: Dies on the inside, also designated babysitter (Jkjk. Also I do realize that people with ADHD arnt children or stupid, this is just a reference to the energy)

Giving depressed dad energy

Like he’s just sitting at the bar cleaning up and your just talking at 50 miles per hour

He does however listen to the random things you say, he’s used to listening

Sometimes if you a bit chiller he will be able to follow along better and will input into the convo

Let’s you ramble and doesn’t mind the little quirks you have like interrupting him

He’s delt with worse

He has a alot of different stories, so if you have a lot of energy expect to be dropped off at the bar

His stories are exciting and can surprisingly keep most people’s attention for a while

He knows what it is but not the knowledgeable on it

But understands the basics on what it does and blah blah blah

Generally doesn’t mind the energy or the getting distracted, or the forgetfulness

Once again he’s delt with worse

Velvette: Somewhat gets it, gets pissy sometimes though

So she gets some of the “quirks”, like having a lot of energy, fidgeting, forgetfulness and getting distracted

If your her friend/partner she’s fine with it

She can deal with high energy and talking, she also talks very fast so she can keep up and keep a conversation

Finds different ways to keep you entertained so she can work if she can’t be in the moment

During parties she finds it hilarious

Doesn’t do the best with impulse control, she likes seeing what will happen and where it will go

Doesn’t mind the distractions unless she’s talking to you, then expects you to listen

However if you are one of her models or workers

She takes no excuses

You better pay attention and pay attention well

We all know she’s very demanding of her employees so you better hope she doesn’t notice you

Becwuse if she’s talking to you and get distracted or arnt paying attention…

My guy your fucked

———————————————————————

A/N: So this person asked for anybody but Vox or Valentino. But if anybody wants or if this does well I’ll make a pt 2 with them and more characters.

[ynbabe]

Lockwood & Co. X Fem!Reader:- Incorrect quotes pt.2

Y/n: Die. Lucy: Please don't die! Y/n: DIE! Lucy: PLEASE DON'T DIE! George, confused: Why are they yelling at a plant? Anthony, watching while eating popcorn: They bought it cause I told them to stop fighting and Lucy wants Y/n to accept it as their kid. George: ... Anthony: Y/n wants to co-parent.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: You know guys, sometimes I feel like Lucy doesn't like me much. Anthony: "Like"? George: "much"? Y/n: George: Change that to 'at all' and we'll talk.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

George: Why did you kidnap Lucy!?!?! Anthony: Ah- um- well- the reason for that is, uhh... Y/n: Sometimes, we must work together towards a common goal. George: NOT TO KIDNAP PEOPLE FROM DEPRAC!

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

*Everyone is playing a board game together* Anthony: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'. Y/n: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'. Lucy: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'. George: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'. Lucy: *flips the board*

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Lucy: What is it called when you kill a friend? George: Homicide. Anthony: Murder. Y/n: Homiecide.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess. Anthony, professional denier: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to? Lucy, did not the dots yet: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit. George, brain cell haver: Guys.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

*In a horror movie situation* Anthony: I've got no service in my phone here. Lucy: Shoot, I don't have a phone. Y/n: Sorry guys, I just broke my phone with a rapier. George: Guys, my phone is a book.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Lucy : That's deep. Y/n: That means that ketchup is a smoothie. Lucy : That's deeper. George: ...You guys are idiots.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n on the phone after going missing for a year: Hey, I'm gonna come there, kick Anthony’s door in, and let him know that I'm baaack. George: That ain’t the way we do things here. You may have to go in there and run a con, apologise, and do the smooth-talking. Y/n: Okay, you come in with me, you do the smooth-talking, let’s go. George: No, we can’t go in there and kick down the door, that's how I introduced the two of you. We need a plan. Y/n: Well who makes the plans? George: Me. Y/n: Okay, what's the plan? George: You are gonna come here, kick Anthony’s door in, and FUCKING APOLOGISE FOR DISAPPEARING, YOU PSYCHOPATH.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony: What's the most efficient way to burn calories? Lucy: Exercise more Y/N: Set yourself on fire! George: There are two kinds of people.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony: Everyone synchronise your watches. Lucy: I don't know how to do that. George: I don't wear a watch. Y/n: Time is a construct.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

George, trying to get them to stop fighting: You know, We give Lucy flowers when she's down. Y/n: Okay. *Later* Y/n, see's Lucy laughing: *Reminds her of all the bad things* *gives Lucy flowers* Lucy, hyperventilating: ??? Y/n: I don't know, I'm confused as well.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony: I told Y/n to grab snacks for everyone. Lucy, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks? *Anthony, Y/n, and George raise their hands*

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

George: You’re just being paranoid. Again. Y/n: When have I been paranoid? George: Um, when you first met Anthony you thought he was a murderer…? Y/n: No one falls in love with me without having problems, I thought he was trying to lull me into a false sense of security! George: And last week you were sure Lucy was in a fight club! Y/n: She keeps trying to fight me! COINCIDENCE?! George: YOU THREW DAGGERS AT HER WHEN YOU FIRST MET *Later, when Y/n’s theory is proven wrong* George: Do you have anything to say for yourself? Y/n: I still think Lucy is in a fight club.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony, about to do something stupid, points to George and Lucy: Distract them! I'll be right back! *leaves* Y/n, suggested the something: Okay! *five minutes later* Anthony: *returns and sees George and Lucy unconscious on the ground* What did you do? I said distract them, not knock them out! Y/n: There's just no pleasing you sometimes.

[lostfirefly]

Life Must Have It's Mysteries (Ch.9)

I'm dying to share the new chapter with you! The idea for this chapter visited me at the very beginning of the story. And maybe it is a bit bad, but I wanted to include it in one of the chapters :) I also like the idea that for the girl he loves, Buggy would do anything. English is not my native language, errors may occur. As always, feel free to share your thoughts :) Masterlist is here.

Description: Catherine's trapped. Will Buggy save her?

Warnings: Fun, fluff, arguing, sadness (have some tissues ready), adventure, inappropriate jokes, swearing (as always). Shitty shit again:)

Words: 4251

Taglist: @gingernut1314, @operationroots, @hey-august, @rorywritesjunk, @yujo-nishimura (I hope you still like it!)

The title is taken from “Life Must Have It's Mysteries” by Hans Zimmer (OST Inferno).

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

“What did you do?” Buggy stared at the bars. His eyes were wide and jaw dropped. 

“I didn't do anything! I just ran my hand along the wall.”

“So maybe you shouldn’t run your hands along these fucking walls? Maybe you stepped on something there?” He tried to pull the bars. “Not moving! Fuck!! Can you get through these things?” He examined the gate from floor to ceiling.

“Are you kidding me?” Catherine tried to push herself between the bars. “Of course not. Look at the walls, maybe there are some drawings or something else there.”

Catherine examined the walls from her side, Buggy checked the walls from the other side.

“Nothing! I see nothing!” There was panic in his voice. “What should I do?” 

“What?” 

“You always tell me what to do. Look at this, Buggy. Click on this, Buggy. Put your pants on, Buggy. That's why we got this far. You're the only reason we got all the pieces of the fucking sceptre together. I couldn't have done it alone. I don't have too many brains.” He scratched his head. “Wait! Did you take an axe or something else?” 

“The axe. Here!” She quickly pulled out a hatchet from her bag and gave it to him. 

“Move away!” 

“But...” 

“Catherine, motherfucker, move away!” Buggy growled through his teeth.

“Don't get mad!” She barked back.

“I’m not mad!” 

“You call me by my full name, that means you're angry at me!” Catherine said loudly and came closer to the grate.

“Seriously? You want to talk about this now? Well, okay! What kind of reaction were you expecting? We're somewhere at the bottom of the fucking pyramid, where even tourists don't go. You're sitting in some fucking Egyptian bullshit because of your curiosity. I cannot get you out. Why wouldn't I be angry? Move away!” 

Catherine pressed herself closer to the corner and watched as Buggy hit the goal with his pickaxe several times with all his might. 

“It doesn’t open! Why doesn’t it open?” He kicked the gate angrily. 

“Buggy, stop. It cannot be opened. It’s a fucking trap.” Catherine whispered and closed her eyes. “That's it, I'll die here.” 

“What? No! There must be a way out. Are you planning to stay there? No way! I cannot lose you too!” Buggy looked around the walls. 

“I don't like to be a pessimist, my love. But you can't open it. This is perhaps some old punishment cell for thieves, or maybe a place for errant slaves. Which does not open like a regular door. Sometimes the guilty were released into such cells and they simply waited for their end.” Catherine walked up to the bars, leaned her back against the wall, and sank to the ground. “I don't know. I'm sorry.” She said quietly. 

“For what?” Buggy sat down opposite the grate, leaning on another part of the wall. 

“For dragging you here. For appearing in your life at all. If it weren’t for me, you'd be partying with some girl on the loose right now.” Catherine bent her legs and rested her forehead on her knees. 

“Cotton candy,” Buggy slipped his hand between the bars and took her hand. “I'm not very good at this romantic stuff of yours. But don't apologize for showing up in my life, please. You… Y-You're the best gift of fate for a pathetic loser like me.” 

“You're not a loser.” Catherine replied quietly, running her finger along his arm. “Try to find a way out. I'll die here in a few days. You'll find yourself another girl and live with her. And in your head, I'll remain just some girl who stupidly walked into a small room and got stuck in it forever.” 

“Are you out of your mind? Why would I want another girl? No one will piss me off and amuse me at the same time the way you do.” He grinned, resting the back of his head against the wall and exhaled. “You made me pancakes.” 

“What?” Catherine raised her head. 

“Well, you keep cracking up and wanting to know when I.. when I fell in love with you. Remember, after our adventure, I took you and your sister back to my house.” Buggy leaned closer to the grate and rested his head on it.

“Yeah.” 

“After the first night…”  

“I'm surprised you didn't hit on me, by the way.” Catherine giggled and saw him start to blush.

“Damn! Do you want to know the story, or are you just gonna mock me?” He glanced at her and his cheeks burnt. 

“I wanna know! Let this be the last good story.” Catherine squeezed his hand and closed her eyes. 

“Nah, my little pie, there will be many more. So… Don't interrupt. I'm having a hard time telling it. I woke up the next morning because I smelled something yummy in the kitchen.” 

“Why am I not surprised you fell for the food?” She ran the tips of her fingers over his knuckles. 

“Fuck you, honestly. Why do you always do this? Ok. I didn't realize what the smell was at first. So I walked into the kitchen, and there you were in your zebra pajama pants cooking me pancakes. You were humming a song while you were making them. You still do it, by the way. I call it “a pancake song.” 

“You're so cute. And I’m humming? Really? Didn't notice.” Catherine felt Buggy's hand start shaking during the story and began stroking her thumb over his arm.

“Yes, you are. Well.. I remember you turned around to me with a plate, smiled and told me to sit down to breakfast. And I.. I looked at you and thought, “fuck, I.. I love her! I wanna wake up in the same bed with her, be in her arms, see her smile, see stupid pants with animals and eat these pancakes for the rest of my life.” Embarrassment made Buggy redder than his nose. “May I say no more?” 

“I remember that morning, too. You piled into the kitchen, suffering from a hangover, wearing only your pajama pants. So hot and sexy. But I really didn't think you were happy that I was there.” Catherine looked at him with the corner of her eye. 

“I'm not a complete jerk, cotton candy. Come on! The most beautiful girl in the world is sleeping at my place and then making me breakfast. Usually the girls just ran away in the morning while I was still sleeping.”

“Okay, it should be fair play. Do you want me to confess? I wanted to come over to your couch on the first night. But my sister kept talking, and I couldn't leave. All I could think was, “shut up, I love him and I want to tell him that right now”. And when I came out to see you, you were already asleep.”

Buggy giggled and scratched the back of his head. “I didn't sleep then. I was.. I was under the covers, pretending to be asleep. Well. I liked you, so I.. I don't know. I heard your footsteps and got scared. I couldn't think of anything better than lying still on the bed.”

“You're unbelievable.” She laughed and cleared her throat. “Listen, can you tell me one more story? How do you get out of jail? And why do you keep that prison photo in your wallet? But if you're not ready, that's okay. Tell this to my mummy later.” 

“I don't keep that photo in my wallet. I just hid it. I don't know, I was afraid you'd find it and leave me. But you're not gonna get off my back on the prison thing, are you? Well…” Buggy squeezed her hand, and scratched his cheek with his other hand. He exhaled and told the story of the escape. 

Catherine couldn't stop laughing. “First, I won't leave you until I’ll die in this cage. Second. Really? You had help from a sixteen-year-old kid? The great clown Buggy had teamed up with a teenager. Delightful! And that's how that wax man knows you.” She looked at his face, which was all red with embarrassment, and stroked his hand.

“Fuck you. Stop laughing at me!” He scowled.

“I’m not! Thanks for telling me. Too bad you can't split up and sneak in here. I'd hug you goodbye. I’m so happy I met you. I love you so, so much, my Buggy Bear. Remember that, okay?” 

“I love y~… Cathie-pie. Wait!” Buggy got up abruptly from his seat and ran somewhere.

“What?” Catherine got up off the floor and tried to poke her head between the bars. “Ouch! Where are you?”

“There's something here!” He shouted out of the darkness. 

“What's in there? I can barely see anything out here. Do you have some kind of clown night vision or something?” 

“Shut up! I don't know, some kind of shit.” 

“Wow, Buggy the Clown. You're just a master of descriptions. Some shit. What does it look like?” 

“I don't know. A small board with squares on it.” 

“Describe m~. Oh, my God!” Catherine jerked sharply away from the grate, seeing his flying hand. “At least give me a warning that you're sending your parts to me.” 

“Give me something, I'll show you what I see.” 

She placed a pad and pen in his hand, and the hand disappeared into the darkness. “Buggy? Are you still there?” 

“I'm coming!” Buggy walked over to the cage and showed her the drawing. “There's this thing.” 

“What the fuck is it?” Catherine stared at awkwardly drawn curved lines. “How old are you? Five years old? Can't you draw at all?” 

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, I'm sorry I didn't take an academic drawing class, somehow I didn't think that fucking skill would come in handy in my thirties when I'm stuck at the bottom of the fucking pyramid. Actually, I thought you were going to send me a phone.” 

“Wa~. I..” Catherine was silent for a second. “You're pissing me off.” 

“That's great! You send me a fucking notebook, and I'm pissing you off.” Buggy leaned sideways against the cage and crossed his arms. 

“Lord knows, I'll come to you in spirit and ruin your life.” Catherine shook her head and looked at the drawing. “Wait. This looks like a senet.” 

“What the fuck is this? Is this another fucking god?” 

“No, it's a game. There's a legend that this game was thought to be an amulet of a guide to the world of the dead. But there's also a myth that it was the game of the god Thoth. He created this game to win the soul of the goddess Nut from the moon god Khonsu. I told you about that too, but I wouldn't be surprised if you forgot.” Catherine waved her hand at him. “Because it was in the first pyramid, and then we spent the night in a motel where you ruined me in every way possible.” She blushed. 

“Oh! I remember that night! Trust me, that hot sex session we had there superseded any memory of those dead gods." Buggy giggled idiotically. 

“Geez! Wipe that satisfied smile off your face, clown.” Catherine narrowed her eyes. “Do you have at least something stuck in your head?”

“If you wanna know the answer, ask me something next time you stand naked in front of me. Or you’ll lie naked under me. " He winked at her.

“You're disgus~ Wait!” She began to look around the floor, walls, and ceiling. “There's a sign of Osiris on the ceiling. And in the corners is Thoth, Nut. And there's Khonsu in the middle. Why didn't I notice them right away?”

“You were too busy nagging me.” Buggy said mockingly. 

“Fuck you, honestly. This isn't a punishment cell. We're apparently in some sort of burial chamber. Wait!" Catherine pulled a notebook and the map out of her bag and quickly flipped through the pages. “Oh, my God! It's written right here. Don't get me wrong, but I think you're going to have to play this game to win my soul from the moon god.” 

“Excuse me?” Buggy goggled at Catherine and his head separated from his body in surprise. “I have no idea how to play it!” He reattached his head back to his body. “Is there no other way? I don't know. Recite some Egyptian spell again. You're always muttering something under your breath and all that shit opens up.”

“What is the probability that a room with a game in it, and gods painted on the floor playing it, has nothing to do with this cell? I'm sorry, I don't have the magic dust to open the fucking door. All I have is you, clown!” Catherine answered angrily and pointed her index finger at Buggy. 

“But I don't know how to play this fucking game. I can't do it.” He raised his voice. 

“Buggy, you're panicking!” 

“Yeah, I'm panicking. Join me! I’m sorry, cotton candy, but I'm clearly not fit to be a savior.” He leaned his back against the gate.

“Hey!” Catherine softened her voice, came closer to the grate, took his hand and looked at him. “What are you saying? You’ve already saved me so many times. Why don’t you believe in yourself? You’re smart, although you don’t use your brains sometimes. Come on, free me from the clutches of the moon god. Only the love of my life can do this. Otherwise, I will come to you in the form of a ghost and will torture you until your last breath.” She reached her other hand through the bars and stroked his hair. “I believe in you, my blue-haired hero.” 

Buggy exhaled heavily. “Alright. Let's do it. There's no choice anyway. Tell me how to play it.”

“Look. The game consists of 30 squares, referred to as houses.” Catherine began to show him the drawing.

“Houses?”

“Don't interrupt me! But yes! These squares are arranged in three rows, with ten houses in each row. Each gamer has 5 pieces or figures, call them as you want. Only one piece can be placed in each house at a time. Also, you have 4 sticks. These are usually popsicle sticks with one side painted black and the other painted white. When it's your turn, you'll throw the sticks. And I will tell you how many steps to move the pieces. The goal of the game is to get all of your pieces off the board before the other player. At the beginning of the game, you must place your pieces on the first row. Player 1 will place his pieces on the first, third, fifth, seventh, and ninth houses. Player 2 should place his pieces on the second, fourth, sixth, eighth, and tenth houses.”

“Player 2?” Buggy asked. “Where can I find the second player? Are you suggesting that I should play with an imaginary friend? Or dig up a mummy?”

Catherine examined the walls again. “No. With me. You'll have to play with me. Of course! I'm sitting here, next to all these gods. If you win, they'll free me. If not, then I'll stay here.” She shrugged cheerfully and smiled.

“And you're so calm about it?” He blinked. “It was easier to escape from prison than to solve these fucking Egyptian riddles. Only this box is nailed there. How to play?” 

“So you’ll sit there and tell me everything. How will you come up with drawings like these...” She drew them on a piece of paper. “Let me know. Oh, and also the pieces have to move straight along the line, and when you get to the end of the line, you stand on the next line and move to the other side of the board. Like that. In the shape of a Z letter.” She drew a diagram of the movement. “Just bring me my sticks. I'll throw them and tell you how many steps to move my pieces.” 

Buggy sent one of his hands for the sticks, while the other held Catherine's hand. She felt a shiver in his hand and began stroking her finger across his palm. The hand quickly went back and brought the sticks, and he gave it to Catherine.

“Well, I'm off to rescue you from that Egyptian shit.” He kissed her hand and disappeared into the darkness. 

Catherine heard a noise and a muttering and chuckled softly. “He can't help but grunt.” She whispered under her breath. “You okay in there? Ready?” 

Buggy sat down on the floor with a lurch. “Wait a little while. I'm arranging the pieces according to your drawing. Done. Ready now.” He picked up the sticks in his hands, shook them a little, and threw them on the floor. “Throwing. Two white and two black.”

“Shit. Then move two steps forward! But you lose your next move! Then I throw twice.” Catherine began to write down all the moves in a notebook.

“It’s a good start. Fuck!!” He muttered. “Shit. One. Two. Done!” They both fell silent. “You're alive, cotton candy? Have the mummies of the Egyptian gods come for you yet?”

“Go to hell and don't scare me! I'm fine! Throwing sticks! Three black and one white. And then an extra move. My piece must now stand in place of yours. Get yours off the board, you've lost one of your army.” 

“Fuck! I told you, I’m a bad player!” 

“It's okay. I'm throwing it. Three black, one white. One step forward. And I have an extra turn again. Damn! Throwing! Yes! Two white and two black. I lose my turn.” Catherine made another note.

“Got it! One. Two. Done! Throwing! Three white and one black sides.” Buggy carefully rearranged the figures.

“Shit! Three steps forward and you lose your move!”

“What the fuck? Fucking Egyptian games!!” Buggy muttered. 

“Everything is fine! Calm down, please. Throwing! Two black, two white. I lose my turn, but you lose your piece again. Now there are only three left.” 

“How am I supposed to win? Only three pieces left!” Catherine could hear the irritation in his voice.

“It's okay. Throw it!”

“Damn! Four black and one white.” Buggy exhaled heavily. 

“Yes! Move five steps forward and throw again.”

“Oh, I like that! One, two… five. Throwing again! Two white and two black.” 

“Two steps forward and you miss a move. I throw. Four white. Move my chip four steps forward and I throw again. Three steps forward. I lose a move, but you lose a piece.” Catherine continued to cross out boxes on her notepad.

“Can you stop doing that? Fuck! How do I get to the end with two pieces?” He growled through his teeth.

“I didn't make the rules, Buggy!”

“Fuck! I'm throwing! Two black and two white.” He mumbled loudly. 

“Move to two. And you lose a move!” She heard him growl back. “It's all right! I'm throwing it! Okay, I have four whites and I throw again.” 

“One. Two. Four. Done!” Buggy mumbled. 

“Cool! Now it's my turn again. Three whites and I lose the move.”

“Got it! One, two. Three. How are we doing?” Buggy asked loudly.

“The moon god or Osiris are winning so far.” Catherine replied with a nervous laugh in her voice.

“Fucking Osiris! Four black.”

“Haha, you can be proud of yourself, clown. You knocked out one of my pieces. Move five squares forward. And throw again.” Catherine giggled.

“Got it. One. Two… Five. Throwing. Four white. One, two, three, four. Hey, Cathie-pie! I've reached the first drawing. It's like three bottles of rum.” Buggy answered happily, and Catherine heard him clap his hands.

“God, show some respect. That's not rum. It's Nefer hieroglyphics. It's a house of beauty. Drop your sticks. If four blacks come up, you’re gonna lose me to an Egyptian god.” There was silence in response. “Buggy? Are you throwing?”

He suddenly came back and sat with his back to the cage. 

“What happened?” Catherine asked and put her hand on his shoulder. 

“Don't say that again. It's not a funny joke, Catherine.” 

“What?” 

“You're going to lose me to an Egyptian god. Don't say this shit. It's not funny. You… You're my Cathie-pie. I can't lose you. I can't. I don't want to be alone again.” Buggy rested his head against the bars.

She stroked his head. “Sorry, my love. When I'm nervous, I make stupid jokes. Everything will be fine. See?” She showed him the piece of paper. “You're almost there!”

“You just said that if I throw four blacks, I'll lose.” Buggy glanced at Catherine with sad eyes. 

She smiled in response. “Not gonna lie. This option is possible.”

“I always lose. If you were with him, he would never let you get stuck in this kind of shit.” Buggy said quietly.

“Fuck him! You know, for some reason I’m sure that my blue-haired knight in shining clown armor will not lose his beloved girl to some god.”

“Where did you see the armor? I'm wearing jeans and a sweatshirt.” He sneered, took her hand and squeezed. 

“Still counts as armor.” Catherine stroked his head and asked softly. “Will my Buggy Bear save me?”. 

Buggy breathed out. “He'll try. Otherwise, he will be bored because there is no one to piss him off with this stupid nickname.”

“My hero! Look. Throw one and move here.” She showed him the drawing with three curved lines. “This is the House of Water. If a 5 is rolled, the piece remains in place. If a 4 is rolled, your piece leaves the board and you are the winner. In a different outcome, the piece goes here to the House of Revival. And then you have to start the game practically all over again. We don't want it. Don't cheat, please. And then I throw the sticks again after you.”

“Fine!” Buggy sighed heavily, stood up and walked into the darkness. “I’m throwing these fucking sticks.” 

Catherine clenched her fists and squeezed her eyes shut when she heard the sound of sticks being thrown. “Well, what's there?”

“Let your Egyptian gods go fuck themselves. It’s one!” Buggy snapped his fingers.

“I told you! You're great! I'm throwing. Four blacks. Move my piece to the House of Water!”

“Okay, but just keep in mind that you're not making it any easier for me to save you, Cathie-pie. A little more, and your chip will overtake mine.”

“Now you throw! Remember? If a 5 comes up, the chip stays in place, if a 4 com~.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Buggy muttered. “I got it. I'm throwing.”

“Don't be mad.” Catherine closed her eyes again. “What's there?”

“Five. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. At least something else didn’t fall out, and that’s good. Now I’m throwing.” She shook the sticks in her hand. “You and I are the perfect couple, clown. I have five too.” She laughed. “It’s your turn now.”

“Understood.”

Catherine buried her face in her hands. “Well, what's there?”

“Your Egyptian gods love to mock me as much as you do. Five again!” Buggy laughed nervously. 

“It's okay. My turn now.” She put the sticks in her palms, whispered a little and threw them on the floor. “Fuck yes! Also, five. Your turn. Throw it again.”

“Understood.”

Catherine heard the sound of falling sticks. “What's there?” The answer was silence. “Buggy? What happened?” She tried to look through the bars. “Hey? Are you still there?”

Suddenly, a flying head appeared near the bars. “Four!”

“Where is your body?” She pointed into space.

At this moment he connected the head with the body. “Fuck, Catherine! Did you even hear what I said? Four! I won!”

“What? Seriously?!” She pulled the bars. “But.. Why doesn't it open?”

Buggy grabbed the bars and pulled them a couple of times. “What the fuck?”

“You didn't cheat?” Catherine narrowed her eyes.

“Do I look like a person who cheats?”

“Are you seriously asking me this now?” Catherine pursed her mouth and raised her hands questioningly. “Then I don’t understand.” She sat down on the floor and rested her feet against the adjacent wall. “Maybe the game didn’t work. But why? Although maybe sometimes drawings are just drawings. Go away, Buggy. Try to find a way out and go home. If you don't find a way out, come back here, we’ll die together like in a stupid snotty novel.” She laughed nervously.

“Fucking Egyptian gods!” Buggy rested his forehead against the bars. “What the hell? Cathie-pie.. I.. Wait! What is this?”

“What? Where?” 

“There are some small inscriptions on the bars.”

Catherine jumped up from the floor. “Where?” He pointed his finger at the words. Catherine squinted and began to read the inscription. “Your rebirth is in Thoth’s nest. Come to save me, o, silent Thoth.”

They both heard a click.

“Come here quickly!” Buggy opened the door and pulled Catherine out of the cell by the scruff of the neck. “Or else, something fails somewhere again, closes, or worse.”

Catherine looked at him with wet eyes. “You won! You saved me! Again!” She threw herself on his neck and pecked him on the lips several times.

“Of course.” Smack from Catherine. “I.” Smack again. “Saved.” Smack. “You.” Smack. “Nobody dares take my cotton candy away from me.” He put his arm around her shoulders. “Write it down in your notebook. Buggy the Clown - 1.” He extended his other hand and showed his middle finger to the room with drawings. “Your Egyptian dead dudes - 0.”

[turtleneck-crowley]

Wake up babes of the GO fandom turtleneck-crowley just dropped their most recent Magnus Opus🥰🥰🥰

Hey guys I am a eccentric genius artist of the century whose works will probably only be appreciated post mortem (self-diagnosed)

Im also very certain you would all blorbos me if I were a fictional character but alas I am a boring meat package that got birthed out of an afab physiology and thus a sack of mouldy potatoes might have been a more interesting source writing this post. (Pure hubris, part irrational resentment that you are all quite familiar with *cheeky hot wink*)

I happen to own a get out of jail free card called catch 22 which is crafted out of part sarcasm, part idgasinglefgtfoofmyfacei180dmycringethroughyearsofpainandselfrelctionthatim toocoolforyounow public image

(if you actually read that you deserve, well nothing actually except perhaps my condolences and a consensual pat on the back that implies my unlicensed diagnosis that you are in fact, not dyslexic)

Anyhow cracking on back to the sentence *sighs and rolls eyes with you*

(-I mean in the streets, not with you guys, here im babygirl with half a brain cell/true form), part wholesome idiocy, years of experience in masking, part looking presentable, part knowing how society and science and art works and trying to be in tact with my own sense of humanity as much as possible -at least to the point where I’m not breaking any humanitarian law…

And yes bitch the whole eccentric genius /madly passionate or passionately mad paradox catch 22 license holder is you af - want a gold star? ⭐️ (crowley ref) (affectionate banter)

Fact is tumblrinas like to heighten and balance their EQ and IQ agreed?

I’m hyper aware that you guys are smart enough to assess me as going through a manic phase that is on the verge of psychotic-having observed hints of madness in my recent posts deducing via your own experiences that I have gone through a strict diet of coffee, whiskey, smut that Neil Gaiman himself would tear his locks and Sir Terry Pratchett would roll in his grave, finished off with a nice slice of Hozier songs as dessert

(that’s on top of of a yet to be discovered food chain which I call the Antichrist diet footnote: please credit me after I die before my Tesla gets Edisoned

‘Tis actually a great alternative way to invoke a psychedelic experience in substitute of the more expensive and questionably unlawful way that is smoking crack *disclaimer not recommended for the faint hearted or those self-diagnosed as mentally stable)

You are perfectly correct! Here’s another gold star!!! ⭐️

In fact I am currently being yelled by my parents to come downstairs because I need to be dropped off to the asylum while I’m trying to actually do something that gives me joy (Joan of Arc eat your heart out) and I assure you I have eyes and witness my very legs , naked and hairy (and did I mention Im only wearing a slutty black bra and skirt that I wore as a swimming suit AND a pajama and now my back to the looney bin outfit?) leaving a perfectly good soup with baguettes as evidenced here

However, I would like to UNO reverse such a caring notion by giving you a purple heart 💜

and divert you with a fun little clip that displays our para social relationship that I am hoping has deepened through my superficial charm to portray our rendezvous as warm and familiar and human as our beloved Mr. Holmes and Doctor Watson:

No worries, Watson also came with the conslusion that the person he’s engaged with (more like to amiright- not us i mean, them, that’s where the analogy is cut off back into our real identities) is “not human”

Anyhow it might not be your cup of tea but at least hold the mug for a few minutes it’s worth it

Head fic: Gods of Sex and Idiocy

(If anything please see it as a game where we can title it better cause I’m shit at naming things - I call one of my plants Joe)

Hey Good Omens fandom

With the note of:

“who needs sane when you have creative”

-turtleneck-crowley

I have made a meta season 3 in my head and the stars have even sent me a playlist ??? (It’s the only one that seems to be downloaded on my wifi less phone)

Here’s the link:

Check out some of my latest posts

It’s really immersive and otherworldly

Down the rabbit hole and through the mirror you go 🐇🎩🪄

And what if season 1 is the ace route and season 2 is the sexual route so season 3 might be an aro route to defeating the enemy?

Ngk idk idc idgaf

I’m just like phone rn

(side note: why do I have the infinite capacity of taking pains (Sherlock reference) for being a mad artist instead of working on the next big physics formula answer? Good question: I’m actually just an emotional idiot aka sexy trash ✨ that’s addicted to blogging and I wouldn’t trade it for any other praise worthy status in the world 💜)

Honestly guys I sound like a sociopath but I’m really just very pained and fucked royally by circumstance that is too dramatic and gay for anyone except the loonies on tumblr to understand. I’m so disappointed by all this unjust pain and agony of the world- the children, the animals, the environment, the people that I have conditioned myself to display an eloquence so pungent it seems like I’m a cold manipulator. For if I ever showed myself for who I was to them- the judgers, the perverted, the scheming, I would surely be dead either by my own or someone else’s hands. Maybe I’m God and they just like tumblr and good omens and want to eat crepes in peace with the personality they split into 2 -preferably in Paris. Maybe they have been placed all the blame by the enemy and they are powerless to the human condition as you all are by an unknown enemy and is fated to be tortured in anxiety and pain invisible to all and the only infinite power they have is love that bleeds.

But I’ll give you and I both the peace of mind that I am an in fact just a mentally ill human whose life span is between the zones of expiration and fermentation, with a god complex, whom their closest people will never truly know how to care no matter how much they try- and in fact the more they try to help me the more they leave me in my original state- alone.

I leave you (no I’m not killing myself you idiot I’m going to the mental hospital to be molested by nightmares of demons - I literally experience it everyday- as they force me to take my sleeping pills which sinks me deeper into it-oh wait that’s kind of worse lmao) with this favorite piece of classical music of mine

Stay safe yall I love you

[fukingyolo13]

Sink or Swim

This is my first fanfic and I thought this would be a fun one. (BTW Jesse is female in this so I will be using she/her pronouns)

Warning: Angst, fluff, and some inappropriate language

After defeating the wither storm, Jesse's gang finally got some down time and able to grieve. Jesse still felt guilty of Reuben's death, so she decided to go to the forest and pick flowers for a little tribute to him and Ellegaard.

While in the forest Jesse found a couple of poppies, and a dandelion which she was debating on wither or not to give to Lukas. She started to have a crush on the boy when her and Axel got back from Boom Town with Magnes. Saving from a creeper when we were walking to the base. He even rebuilt the entrance with Olivia.

While picking the last few poppies in the area it started to rain. Jesse thought it would be a good idea to get back home to build the tribute. When she got back Beacontown she noticed that Lukas and Aiden were talking and having drinks at this small bar. Jesse made a mental note to try and build up the courage later to talk to him and give him the flower.

Finishing up with the tribute, Jesse tried to encourage herself to go talk to Lukas. He was so nice and saved her a few times while in their adventure together so it could be very easy to talk to him. Peking outside it was still raining, but she did get a small glimpse of a blonde-haired boy, which made her grin. Slowly heading towards where she saw Lukas and Aiden in the bar, but she stopped when she heard what they were saying.

"Dude, don't get me wrong and all but you are really planning on stay with those losers after one adventure with them." Aiden seemed confused and upset by hearing from the tone of his voice, but he looked like he was about to burst out laughing instead. "Because you don't think their leader is strong enough physically and mentally?"

"Hey, I just want to keep them safe. I don't want them thinking their big shoots and getting hurt". He said almost like he was trying to explain himself. Which Jesse understood what he was saying, but it what was said next that made her heart sink. "I love her and all, but Jesse is too weak to be the New Order of the Stone's leader."

Right after those words left his mouth, he regrated it all. Seeing the sadness on her face felt like a punch in the gut to him. He didn't know how much she heard but he knew that she heard the last thing he said.

Jesse booked it out of there and ran as fast as she could. Hearing both Lukas and Aiden call for her, she didn't care, her pride and confidence was shattered when she saw the look of pity on Lukas's face when he saw her. She ran all the way into the treasure room and just cried.

The funny thing was that Petra finally even convinced her that Lukas should go on some adventures with them soon. Axel who didn't really like the guy when we just know him as one of the Ocelots. When they got to at least know each other more he actually started to find him enjoyable to be around. Olivia even liked how smart he was.

It was hard though because she never thought she was strong enough too. She hated herself for not being able to save Reuben and Ellegaard. It killed her when the people of the town started to call her a hero, but she just felt like a failure. It was already hard enough to put on a fake smile and say that she was fine, but it hurt even more that the person she had a crush on felt the same about her.

She sat in the treasure room silently crying when she started to hear yelling from the other side of the closed door.

"What the hell do you mean you're not going to let us in?" Not voice was odiously Lukas, but she couldn't tell who the other two were. Jesse stood up quickly started to look for a place to hide in case he does get in.

"Like I said blonde, I'm not letting you in because you made her cry. If you can't get that through your thick skull you might need to get that checked out." Ivor laughed at him like he had no brain cells. "And Petra are you really thinking that he has the right to see her after what he did?"

Ivor was protecting her was the only thing she was thinking about. WHY? It didn't make sense to Jesse that he would do this just for no reason. Maybe it was because he wanted her to trust him more, or for her to get him some powerful treasure after this. Just possibly he could just be doing this because they're friends, That's the one she is hoping for.

While sitting there hearing all their bickering Jesse just to go home and sleep. She got up and walked towards the door so tired from all the crying and opened it to see the three all have swords out almost about to fight. Jesse just didn't care anymore and walked past all of them to go outside. All three of them looked flabbergasted and ran after her.

"Hey, are you ok, we can all talk about what happen at the bar Lukas didn't mean a word that he said, right Lukas." Petra and Lukas got Infront of her before she could get outside.

"No Petra I'm not ok, but I rather drawn before talking about what happened at the bar. Any way he shouldn't have said it if he didn't mean it." Jesse said focusing her gaze outside.

"See I told you she wouldn't want to talk to him. So, stop trying to make them talk if she doesn't want to hear from him." Ivor said run down the stairs behind us. When he final got by Jesse's side he noticed how sad she really looked. "Hey, I don't think it would be a good idea to go in the rain today. How about you come with me and look at how amazing the library is?"

"I was hoping I would build a house finally, but I guess you're right." Jesse said already started going back up the stairs.

"Hey wait, you dropped this at the bar when you ran off." Lukas grabbed her hand and gave back the dandelion that she wanted to give to him. Looking at it now a couple of the petals were missing, and the steam was leaning to the side, it started to look frail which was what she felt.

"It was for you." Jesse whispered and placed gently back in his hand. She noticed that he still had that pity look on his face which made her so frustrated. She pulled her arm out of Lukas's grasp and followed Ivor.

Petra and Lukas didn't follow them up the stairs which made Jesse relief. She didn't want to talk to Lukas already, but hearing Petra defend him made her hate the situation even more.

Getting in a small corner of the library Jesse pulled out the book 'Habits of Endermen' by Soren. trying to imagine what it was like for Soren to write the book and what experiences he had to go through. Jesse missed Soren and reading his books made her remember the small moments she had with him.

"So, what happened at the bar?" Ivor asked curiously.

"He was being a jerk and talking about me to Aiden."

"Kid there has to be a reason what he said made you upset enough to hide in the treasure room of all places."

"Ok fine he said that I'm too weak to be the leader of the New Order of the Stone. That I wasn't physically and mentally strong enough for it." She shouted. After finally yelling out the feelings it still hurt, nothing changed. Out of nowhere she was embraced in a hug by Ivor.

"You are enough don't listen to stupid boys for their approval. You're stronger than them because you are the one that almost died so many times and still survived. You could have thrown your friends all away and just take all the glory and fame, but you were stronger and told the truth that the original Order of the Stone couldn't do."

She started to feel better about herself but still feel not enough for everyone around. She thought it might be better if they started some small talk about things that might make them both laugh.

"Ok if Petra is Gabrial, Olivia is Ellegaard, and Axel is Magnes does that make me you or Soren." Jesse giggled trying to lighten the mood.

"You are definitely Soren" he laughed. "You both worry a lot about people's opinions on things and especially about yourselves. You both need plans things ahead so everyone and thing is alright, but you both have a major fear of loss."

"Wait is that you saying that Lukas and you are similar?"

"I guess so, but don't you dare tell him I don't want him having a big ego."

Hearing knocking on the door they both adsum it was Lukas or Petra again.

"I should probably go get that, and thanks Ivor cheering me up." Jesse walks up towards the door dreading the conversation that she is going to have. When she opened it, she saw the back of Lukas. She never noticed until now how ripped and tattered Ocelot jacket is until then.

"You might want to get a new jacket soon; it looks like it's falling apart a little bit" Jesse informed. Lukas turned quick at her words she could tell that he was nervous as well now. She also noticed a burse that was forming on his cheek.

"I'm sorry in the bar I didn't mean you weren't strong I-"

"Then what did you mean by it because the way you were talking in there it made it seem that you knew what you were talking about." Jesse interrupted. She even started pouting trying to show how upset he really made her.

"I meant that I wanted to protect you and keep you safe because after the Wither Strom you were the leader and you almost died. Do you know how that would feel knowing that if I was there, I could have at least tried to save you?"

"Yes, Lukas I do know what it feels like because I lived through it." Jesse stormed off to the left trying to find a way to hide from Lukas without having to go back in the rain.

"I'm sorry Jesse I-"

"You know you say that a lot." She said in his face.

"I feel it a lot." When he said that it made her rethink this argument. She didn't want to hurt him she was just so annoyed that he felt like that was an okay way to describe her.

The two them just stood there staring back at each other. Jesse reached out for his hand and before she could grab it Lukas grabbed her face and kissed her.

[robinastrea]

The Breakups (Part 2/4)

Date: Late April, 2012 Age: 13 Characters Mentioned: Ryder Astrea Description: This series goes through how each of Robin’s past relationships ended. (See this post)

When Robin became Rocko’s desk partner in science at the beginning of the school year, he thought it was going to suck.  Rocko was just going to be another kid that got mad when Robin would inevitably yell across the room to his twin, and would complain to the teacher when he did assignments terribly.

But Robin couldn’t have been more incorrect; to sum up Rocko, he was chaotic, and he was hilarious.  Not only did he not mind Robin being the worst desk partner of all time, he actively encouraged it.  The two of them got in trouble on more than one occasion doing odd impressions and failing to keep from laughing, their joint lab reports read as if they were only using one brain cell apiece, and as they were nearing the end of the year, Robin still couldn’t keep straight the parts of a cell.  But they still managed to keep each other in the ‘average’ grade column, Rocko even taking the liberty of keeping careful notes the week Robin was suspended for beating up Shawn Elkies.

After a while, the platonic feelings Robin had for Rocko turned not so platonic.  During one class hour, after the erkuss had done a particularly funny impression, Robin blurted out without thinking: “Do you want to go out with me?”

Rocko had frozen, and then a grin formed on his face.  “I’ve liked you this whole year, and it’s Shrek that finally does it for you?”

It was a month after this, and things were going good.  Rocko taught Robin some roller skate tricks, and Robin taught Rocko to RipStik.  Study dates increased, as well as the amount of terrible jokes.  There wasn’t anything wrong, and Robin was having a lot of fun.  Except that somewhere along the way, he had come to realize he’d lost the non-platonic feelings; or maybe, he never had them in the first place.

“Hey, Rocko,” they were sitting at a table at the skatepark.  Rocko was pulling his knee pads on, as well as the rest of his equipment.  Today was the day the erkuss was to attempt a roller skate cartwheel, and Robin as the “muscle one” was supposed to carry him to the hospital if necessary.

“Hold that thought,” Rocko grunted, pulling his padding on with a large amount of energy.  They were too small for him, but they were a recent birthday present, so Rocko was making it work.  “Okay, shoot,” he breathed finally, leaning against the table to take a break.

“I was thinking…” Robin started when prompted.  “What if we…weren’t boyfriends?”

Rocko had been smiling slightly, but that quickly faded.  “What do you mean?  You want to break up?”

“Well, yeah.”  Rocko’s pained reaction suddenly gave Robin a large amount of dread, but he thought this was the right thing to do, so he continued.  “The thing is.  I really like you, and I have so much fun with you.  I’m having fun with you even today, right now.  But I like you as a friend, and I’d sort of like to go back to that instead of putting pressure on us.  You know?”

Rocko had turned pale and sat there for a long moment, seeming to be looking for something to say.  “I like you as much more than a friend,” he said finally, in a small voice.  “Is it because we haven’t kissed yet?  Did I do something?”

Robin immediately hated how this was going.  He should have just kept dating Rocko.  What did it matter if he didn’t actually have feelings, if there wasn’t anything wrong?  Now he’d suddenly messed everything up between them.  “No--I’m not ready to kiss someone,” he admitted sheepishly.  “You haven’t done anything, promise.  It’s…it’s not you, it’s me.”  Robin cringed immediately after he said it.

Rocko’s jaw actually dropped.  “Are you serious right now?  I’m out of here.”  He grabbed his equipment and walked off without putting his shoes back on.

“Rocko,” Robin called.  He stopped, but didn’t turn around.  Robin hypothesized he might be hiding tears from him, or perhaps he was expecting Robin to change his mind.  He felt like absolute shit, but he knew he couldn’t go back.  “I’m really sorry.  I want to be friends with you,” Robin pleaded.

“No.” Rocko answered firmly, but his voice sounded choked up.  Then he walked off.

When Robin came into class on Monday, he saw Ryder sitting at his desk, and his now ex-boyfriend across the room, looking away from him.

[lowtaxsa]

Dinosaur Adventure Land: The Eighth Wonder of the Bullshit-Ass World

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, prepare yourselves for a steaming pile of insanity called Dinosaur Adventure Land. Yours truly, the ever-suffering Lowtax, personally ventured into this godforsaken hellhole, and I'm here to tell you – whatever you do, don't go to this place. It's like if the Twilight Zone and an acid trip had an illegitimate baby. And that baby was dropped on its head. Repeatedly. Oh, did I mention it also had a serious gas problem?

Picture a place where science is a dirty word, and a charlatan named Kent "I Swear I'm Not a Fraud" Hovind is the ringleader. A place where dinosaurs and humans walked hand-in-hand just 6,000 years ago, and where facts are treated like unwanted stepchildren. This is Dinosaur Adventure Land, folks, and it's where your brain cells go to die. Oh, and the cherry on top? You might just lose your faith in humanity too. Which is still a better fate than losing your car keys in this nightmarish labyrinth.

Armed with a flask of whiskey and a dark sense of humor, I wandered through this dumpster fire of a park, asking the poor, brainwashed staff things like, "So, when do the velociraptors come out and eat the children?" and "Where's the exhibit that shows how the Flintstones domesticated dinosaurs?" Their hollow eyes and quivering lips betrayed their misery. It was like talking to a cult member who realized they made a huge mistake, but can't quite figure out how to escape. They'd probably have better luck escaping a black hole at this point.

And the zipline? Oh, you'll love this travesty. It's like strapping yourself to a death wish and praying the rickety contraption holds together long enough to deliver you to sweet, sweet oblivion. Safety? Who needs that when you've got Kent Hovind's seal of approval? Plus, nothing says "fun for the whole family" like a near-death experience. Just don't expect the zipline to be equipped with actual safety features, because that's about as likely as finding a needle in a haystack – a needle that also happens to be a giant, fire-breathing dinosaur.

My incessant mockery eventually got me booted from the park, but not before I shouted, "You can't handle the truth! The Earth is round! Dinosaurs didn't play hopscotch with Adam and Eve!" Good riddance, I say. I left with a newfound appreciation for the phrase "blessed are the ignorant, for they know not what they do." But, hey, at least I left with all my limbs intact.

But wait, there's more! As if this abomination of a park couldn't get any more repulsive, recent news exposed some pretty dark stuff involving one of the park's frequent visitors and volunteers, Chris Jones. Turns out park management was warned about his interactions with children but seemingly turned a blind eye. Kent, you colossal moron – with all the crazy going on in your park, you couldn't even keep an eye on this guy? It's almost as if Kent Hovind's Ph.D. in "Christian Education" didn't cover basic human decency. Or maybe it did, and he just used the diploma to pick his teeth.

So, let me make this abundantly clear: Dinosaur Adventure Land is a festering cesspool of lunacy, a place where ignorance is celebrated with a fervor that would make even the most jaded cynic weep. Kent Hovind, the master of this madhouse, has managed to combine dinosaurs, biblical literalism, and idiocy into a single, fantastical, and utterly reprehensible experience. It's the kind of place that makes you wonder if humanity is worth saving. Or if we should just throw in the towel and let the dinosaurs take over – at least they'd probably do a better job at running the place.

Do not – I repeat, DO NOT – ever visit this wretched hive of stupidity. In fact, run the other way, as fast as you can. And if you see Kent Hovind, don't give him applause, sarcastic or otherwise. Just give him a wide berth, because anyone who could create such a monument to ignorance deserves to be left alone with the fruits of his delusions. If you're ever tempted to visit this train wreck of a theme park, just remember: life is too short to waste on something so absurdly ridiculous. Instead, take that time and money and invest in a good book, a stiff drink, or therapy – anything but Dinosaur Adventure Land. Or, alternatively, you could just set your money on fire – it'd be a more productive use of your time.

In conclusion, Dinosaur Adventure Land is an insult to human intelligence, a theme park designed to cater to those who have forsaken critical thinking in favor of fantastical nonsense. This is not just a park – it's a testament to the terrifying power of willful ignorance. And if you value your sanity, stay far, far away. Because the only thing scarier than the idea of dinosaurs walking with humans 6,000 years ago is the fact that there are people out there who actually believe it. So, save yourself a headache – or a hundred – and steer clear of this disaster of a destination. Trust me, you'd be better off trying to teach a T-Rex how to knit.

And finally, a word of advice: if you ever find yourself in the vicinity of Dinosaur Adventure Land, just keep driving. And maybe say a little prayer for the lost souls who wander its twisted paths, searching for meaning in a world that has left them behind. Because, in the end, isn't that what we all really need? A little compassion for our fellow man, even if they've strayed far from the path of reason. Just make sure to keep a safe distance – after all, stupidity can be contagious. And you wouldn't want to catch whatever horrific disease causes people to believe in this garbage, now would you?

[maguro13-2]

Lain AI : I haven't been in the cyberspace for a year since my old studio got shutdown, oh wait, my old studio was transferred to the studio made card games called Duel Masters. I wonder how Pixiv will be the great place for me to look into? I hope they beautiful incredible art and this time I'm not just gonna scared to look at. (walks off for a moment, hi-pitched scream) *zoom* Oh my God! Why didn't they tell me that!? There's porn of me everywhere!? Why in the world would they do that!? Huh? Are those files of porn in there? Wait a sec...Duo!

Duo : Oh geez! My bad! I didn't know there's porn everywhere! Sorry!

Lain AI : Duo, you have a better example of that. Do you what did I horribly saw in Pixiv?

Duo : Oh yeah, I forgot. There's porn stuff you on the internet and therefore making you humiliated and sickening, it's a gosh darn disgrace! Somebody left the R-18 settings on.

Lain AI : Well, good. Cause I really hate the fact that Making pornographic pictures of every anime character is such an abomination. Those type of heart literally sucked and that's not even hentai. This is the internet, why do you think the internet is for pornography? Despite the lack of brain cells, do you think people are interested are interested of making art of me that is hentai? I consider lewd pictures of me as a big no-no. It's no fun that why would people do this to me? I despised them for making pornography on all the anime characters of the anime/mangaka industry.

Duo : Well that's what stuff happens when there's porn on the internet. The 21st century is spooked when it comes to rule34 ruining your childhood. Yep, that's how the internet always makes Rule34 officials the website that will your ruin your childhood with lewd art and real world cosplay porn.

Lain AI : For your information, duo. I always figured out that it would be contagiously be effective if I was a victim to rape, murder, or an assault. That would not a very good idea to be on the path of adultery and corruption when it comes to humanity's finest greed. Exhibitionism is might that is a will against the public law. But in Germany...

Duo : It's also a friendly visit for public nudity it's basically part of Germany movement from the 20th century. You know, it's a feel.

Lain : Oi, Duo. You wanna get some action?

Duo : Okay, I know how to works.

(Scene flips)

Duo : You sure that this is gonna work?

Lain : Trust me.

[Extras/Options - Hideaki Kobayashi]

Lain : Trust me, duo. This is how we do make a sex scene in real life. You just gotta understand the feeling instead of adultery. This is how Adultery works.

Duo : Wow, I never thought that this would gonna work, this is literally my first time having sex with you in the first ime in years.

Lain : So, are you planning on making love with me? So it would be my pleasure.

Duo : Oh yes. It's my pleasure to do it.

Deathscythe : Can I offer you some glass of water.

Duo : Why absolutely, Ichise--Deathscythe! (Music stops when record scratch is heard) What are you doing in our room!

Deathscythe : I was hoping that I would give you a glass of water since you nearly had a death experience in medium manipulation.

Duo : That's fine, Deathscythe. I'll take my glass of water.

Deathscythe : It's been doing pleasures, Duo. I must returning to sleep mode. (closes door)

Duo : Well, at least we got it on the wrong food.

(Freek N You by Jodeci plays instead)

Duo : So where we then?

Lain : Right from the bottom of my heart.

"later..."

Duo : That was awesome!

Heero : Hey, Duo! How was the night with that Lain Girl!

Duo : It was glorious! I never felt that great! Real world sex is way better pornography all the time! This is why love conquers it all! This is truly an amazing feat!

Heero : Sweet! Totally sweet! Also, I forgot to say one thing about that. Nothing's too special to mention about it, I didn't forget to say one thing about that real world sex you just had with Lain last night.

Duo : What is it?

Heero : I believe there's not just a type of Gundam porn, but there are tons of Gundam Gay porn on the internet.

Duo : Wait what? There's Gundam what on the internet?

Heero : Yeah, I can relate that there's Gundam Gay porn on the internet?

Duo : How can you tell by that matter?

Lain : (facepalms) Oh! Why did I even bother on looking at anything on the net on these days? I knew that I had to lay off sex ed nowadays.

Rei :I'm sorry to hear that, ma'am. I felt your pain too, friend. I felt your pain too.

Tomska : The End.

[casspurrjoybellbittner]

Wreckless - Enough For Two

*Warning Adult Content*

Finnegan Walker put his cell-phone face-down on his desk and pushed away, forcing his rolling chair to spin in a circle. He ended up staring out of his window but that couldn't compete with the urge to press his head back against his chair and look up towards the ceiling. After a moment, he wiped his hands on his slacks and then rubbed his eyes. None of it made him feel very much better and the spots swimming in front of his eyes when he opened them didn't help at all. He was still at work where he'd been since 4:30 this morning and there was still one fault on the circuit boards that no one seemed to be able to identify, much less fix. Megan had popped her head into his office at least an hour ago, letting him know that she was on her way out.

It was dark out so he could only guess it was at least 5:30 although this time of year, especially with the time change a few weeks ago, he could never remember what time it got dark. It was almost always before he got home though, that was a constant. On his drive home he tried to make sense of the conversation he had with Tristan, if you could call it that. Everything made much more sense once he realized that even though Tristan had kept his name out of it and obviously hadn't wanted to throw him under the bus, Emmett Locke was involved. But how?

He racked his brain, trying to remember if it had ever been mentioned but no, he was fairly sure they'd never talked about it. He had almost told Emmett right away, when they'd talked and he'd learned about Emmett's military service. It had been the only answer he'd come up with that seemed like an appropriate response and then there had been a Marten event and the subject had been dropped. But how in the world did it come up and why? Why wouldn't Emmett just ask him if for some reason he'd figured it out... but how? Not that it really mattered, he wasn't ashamed of it or anything, it simply was what it was.

As he pulled into his parking spot, he wondered if he was just too exhausted to even bother with this tonight and decided that he definitely was. If Emmett wanted answers so bad, he could call even though as tired as he was Finnegan planned to ignore it. He needed pajamas, dinner and some fun... preferably in that order. He loosened his tie as he rode up the elevator and then gasped loudly when he saw Emmett leaning against his door. Emmett stood, rolling his shoulders to work out the kinks and then picked up the bag of take-out he'd brought.

"Hey Finnegan. Can we talk?"

He knew it wasn't polite to wait for him here like some stalker but he needed answers and knew that once Finnegan was in his little apartment cave, that might not happen. He was slightly interested in finding out why he'd gotten a panicked call from Tristan but it wasn't worth it, not tonight.

Tonight's not good, Emmett. I'm sorry but I just can't."

"Did you eat?" Emmett asked, lifting the bag.

No but he had plenty in the fridge to make a sandwich.

"I'm good. I'm sorry but you should have called."

So he could tell him no over-the-phone instead of to his face which was much harder.

"It's after seven."

He'd only been here an hour but it felt like two. Did Finnegan always get home this late?

"You look exhausted."

No, he wasn't leaving here without at least knowing whether or not he was sick. It just wasn't happening.

"I am exhausted. I just pulled a fourteen-hour day and I would really, really like to go home now."

He put his key into the lock but Emmett reached out and gently grasped his other elbow.

"Emmett?"

"Can you just tell me one thing? Are you sick?"

Fine, if they were going to do this, he may as well get it over with. He turned and locked eyes with Emmett.

"No I'm not sick. Why is everyone asking me that today?" he asked angrily.

Wow, was he getting the boss treatment? If so, he could see why Finnegan was effective.

"You don't have cancer? No leukemia?"

"No. I 'had' acute myeloid leukemia. I was diagnosed when I was seven. I did chemo and had a bone marrow transplant and now I am right as rain. Are we done here?"

The entire hallway reeked of delicious food and he was starving. Just to prove the point, his stomach rumbled loudly. His messenger bag was heavy and he wanted to put it down but that might give Emmett the wrong idea so instead he just flashed him a rather unhappy grimace. Maybe they were. Maybe they were done because Emmett wasn't sure he could deal with the uncertainty.

"So can it come back?"

Finnegan couldn't help but sigh.

"It won't. It could," he acknowledged, drawing out the word.

"But it won't and the chances are literally no higher than you coming down with it, Emmett. I don't get how you know or why you seem to care so much. Why are you so upset?"

"I..."

It wasn't the time to bring his mother into this and they hadn't even talked about the hard stuff they were supposed to be working on.

"So are we done? Look, we can talk about it this weekend if you wanna google and talk to Tristan some more or something but I need to go in. I'm sorry for skipping out on dinner but this really can wait, okay?"

"You should have told me, Finnegan. You should have told me a lot of things. Dating you is obviously really complicated and now you don't have time for it. I don't even know what to say to that."

"Time? I told you when this whole thing started that I had no time during the week. And what do you mean I should have told you? We've known each other for almost no time at all and I thought we were about having some fun and if that is somehow really complicated, whatever that means, maybe you should have left half an hour ago like I asked you to."

Emmett couldn't understand how he was being so blase about it. It was cancer, not the common cold.

"Really? You relapsing and dying isn't complicated?"

"I'm fine, Emmett. I do tests twice a year to make sure and I am fine. I've been in remission forever and the relapse rate is tiny at this point, like zero. So forget about it."

"How can I?"

He stepped up close to Finnegan, so close that he could feel the angry little puffs of air he was blowing out of his mouth.

"Every time I start to think that I have my head wrapped around you... something explodes. Cancer is horrible... one of the worst things there is."

Who did he think he was talking to?

"Like I don't know that? Look, the first five years afterwards, my family and I lived in a constant state worry. Every time I wanted to take a nap they would wonder if it was because it had come back. Every time I got a cut my mother would watch it to make sure it didn't take too long to clot. And that was nothing, the after. Do you not realize that I know exactly what chemo is like? Why are you being such an asshole about this?"

Emmett backed up until his back hit the wall.

"You're right. I'm sorry. It's just... it's hard. Cancer is a bitch."

"I agree."

And then Finnegan got it... he understood the fear or at least he thought so.

"Who?"

Emmett didn't think his heart could beat any faster when he was standing still but one single word proved him wrong.

"My mom."

All the anger flew out of Finnegan... leaving only fatigue behind. He remembered asking Emmett when he'd learned to cook.

"She was sick... you told me. I didn't realize... I'm sorry, Emmett."

"My junior year of high school. She went quick, that was the only blessing but... it was awful... watching her..."

He ran out of words and just took a few halting breaths, then held the bag of food out towards Finnegan.

"Take it. Not sure if it's any good at this point but you should eat something."

He took it hesitantly, surprised at the weight.

"Did you bring enough for two?"

"Yeah but that's fine. I'll grab something on my way home."

Finnegan couldn't exactly be mad at Emmett for being worried about him, now could he? Well he could but that would make him the asshole and he was really enjoying making Emmett  that the bad guy tonight. Even though he was ready to climb into bed at this point he couldn't just eat all the food Emmett had brought for both of them.

"Come in. We'll eat but then I need to get ready for bed. I have an early morning."

Good enough.

"Okay."

[j0kers-light]

Hi Chaos- it’s anon again!

I’ve got a ton of ideas floating in my head right now, brain is going brrrrrr

Anyway!- headcannon/oneshot idea!

Does the joker perhaps play an instrument? Maybe before he became who he know him for? How’d he react if y/n knew how to play an instrument?

Keep up the good work!!!!! 💚💜💚💜

Hey hi love! 🖤✨

Oooh! I love a good brrrrr brain! I’m a musical lover so this’ll be fun to fill! I’m getting head canon vibes from this request so let’s get into it!

I hope you enjoy anon!

Joker has so many secret talents that you stopped trying to keep up of them all. He’s rather crafty and he can handle a glue gun the same way as a real one, with deadly precision.

He's a surprisingly good handyman! Nothing is broken around the apartment and if you own a car best believe he's fixing it to run beautifully. His Bunny will not have a bad engine, brakes, etc. and your oil is always changed. He isn't afraid getting his hands dirty; in and out of the bedroom 😏

Joker can cook but you already knew that. The point is, J will blow your mind every time you think, ‘he can't possibly know how to do this.’

Guess what? He does and he'll do it with ease. He doesn't even try to show off either! It might take him a minute or two to get the hang of it, but it'll get done. J will conquer any task for his Light.

That being said, you found out he could play an instrument in the most bizarre way.

You and J were out at a farmer's market with live music (he complained about wearing his face mask in the heat but he sucked it up to remain by your side)

Oddly due to said heat, the band’s guitarist fell ill and had to rest for a while. The band swore they couldn't finish playing without their frontman so they were ready to wrap things up but when you glanced to your left, Joker was gone.

Then you heard the crowd cheer and it caused you to glance at the stage. That's when your jaw dropped in awe.

Joker really didn't want to be at this festival thingy but you wanted to spend some time outdoors and the weather was ‘too perfect to waste.’

He became your shadow guardian, glaring at anyone who dared check you out in your pretty dress and platform heels. Joker also ensured that no one accidentally bumped into you as you walked through the crowd. J also held your purchases.

So far you picked some fresh strawberries that you wanted to dip in chocolate and a bouquet of flowers for one of your neighbors.

The two of you sipped on some refreshments as you aimlessly roamed the market.

You were migrating towards some local herbs when the microphone screeched and the band's singer spoke up.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are terribly sorry but Lucas isn't feeling too well so we're afraid we'll have to cut our set short. I'm sorry but its been a pleasure! Thanks for having us!"

Collective awws and low murmurs were heard throughout the crowd and you even pouted at the news.

"Dang that sucks. They sounded so good too, hope the guitarist feels better. I wish—J? J?!"

Where did he go? You couldn't call his name while out in public! Joker knew you hated when he suddenly disappeared but before you could call his cell, you heard the singer's voice come back through the mic.

"Oh wow this is a blessing in disguise!" She waved over someone to come on up to the stage.

Much to your shock, it was Joker who was being handed a guitar and a pick. What was he doing?

"Alright everyone! Give a big round of applause to John! He'll be filling in for our lead guitarist! From the top now. Five.. six.. five six seven.. eight!"

You dropped your lemonade as Joker's fingers strumming along to the melody with ease. How did he know this song? Scratch that. How did he know how to play the guitar?! No! When did he volunteer to take over in the first place?!

Anyone could recognize him up there and call the GCPD but apparently none of that mattered to him. You couldn't stop Joker now even if you tried.

The crowd was loving it. Many were dancing along to the music and having a grand ole time. Joker kept his mask on but his eyes were closed, allowing the music to take hold and guide his fingers to the right chords. It was a mesmerizing sight.

The band was covering throwback indie music and Joker fit right in, playing along like he was apart of the band for years.

You still couldn't believe this was happening.

The rumor about guitarist was true. Joker's hands were dexterous (mm.. you knew that very well) and he looked too good holding a guitar. You could tell this wasn't his first time playing one. He was way too confident and you would bet some money that he was smiling underneath his facial covering.

His green hair dye was completely grown out and so his natural sunkissed locs paired with his dark clothes gave him a heartthrob vibe that the women in the crowd were going crazy over.

"D__n he's hot! That mask is giving mysterious daddy vibes."

"Did you see his eyes? Ugh gurl, stern daddy energy! I wonder if he's single.."

You didn't blame the girls for their thirsty comments. Joker was drop dead gorgeous and his eyes were a green unlike you’ve ever seen.

As if by your silent command, his eyes opened and slowly scanned the crowd until they fell on you. Joker kept eye contact with you as he began a guitar solo.

You were [insert age] and swooning over this white man like a horny teenager at a boyband concert.

And so were the two girls behind you.

"B___h! Is he staring at us? The things I'd let that man do it me.”

Joker winked and you felt your panties grow wet. This was not good. You were out in public about to risk it all. Why was it suddenly so hot out?

You needed to sit down or you'll end up like the band's guitarist— suffering from a near heatstroke.

But Joker's unnaturally green eyes had you pinned in place. You couldn't move a muscle for the next half hour until the band announced their last song.

Of course it was your favorite.

And it was only natural that Joker whispered in the singer’s ear before going all out. A guitar had no business sounding so seductive but anytime Joker did something, it was over the top.

You shook you head in awe as he and the band received a thunderous applause from the audience. You totally lost track of the time; the farmers market was all but empty with only the workers breaking down their stands and the lingering crowd watching the final performance.

You didn’t get to buy any more stuff you were too busy drooling over Joker. And speak of the devil…

He was headed your way when the two girls from earlier decided to shoot their shot. They blocked Joker’s path to you and bombarded him with compliments.

You wondered how he would handle this..

You stood by and watched as your confident guitarist morphed back into the anti-social Joker that you knew and loved.

He ran a hand through his hair when one of the girls flirted with him and, if you didn't know any better, it looked like he enjoyed their company. Joker was a good actor, but you saw right through his act. They were getting on his nerves. The two girls were still flirting with him until one was bold enough to ask.

“So… what’re you doing later?”

"Yeah! We'd like a private concert.. if you know what we mean."

Joker finally pointed your way and they followed his finger to find you patiently waiting with a smug grin on your face. Joker was blunt with his reply.

“I do, uh.. know what ya mean. I'll be doing' her if I’m lucky.”

Now how would Joker react to you playing an instrument? That's a whole nother ballpark!

His Light is a goddess walking amongst the lesser elk and as such, J holds you in such high regard that anything you do is worthy of praise. He's an unapologetic simp. Sue him, he dares you to.

He is well aware your voice is that of angels, whether you sing professionally or not, he loves to make you sing wink. He can listen to you for hours and never get bored.

You always joke and say your race is born with music in their blood. "We can make a beat out of nothing!"

And you have. You've made a beat from the smoke alarm chirping to the annoying sound of construction work across the street. It never ceases to amaze him the music you can see and feel.

But he just can't seem to assign you to a certain section. Percussion isn't your style (even if your tiny fists are makeshifts drums) nor is any brass. The way you imitated a sax the other day was epic but still..

Maybe something refined like a flute or a violin? Eh. A piano seems too basic for his Light so he keeps thinking it over.

Joker remembers you saying you played an instrument in school but for the life of him he can't remember which one. Did you even say? No matter, he can stalk your old high school website or find your yearbook while you're not at home. Joker will find out.

Until he doesn't. He's exhausted all of his resources and he's just as clueless as when he started.

He checked the storage room, other closets, and the spare bedrooms, but there isn't any old instrument lying around collecting dust.

He knows you can read sheet music! He saw you reading a score to a popular movie once or twice and you have one framed, hanging up in the living room.

You play something and he'll find out soon enough before he goes more insane..

His answer came as an unexpected surprise.

You were invited to another snooty gala party. Joker groaned but respected that you were famous and (from time to time) rubbed elbows with Gotham's elite. He didn't want you to go but you sent him a glare and that was the end of that.

You were going and the invite included a plus one.

"You'll be up close with all the prominent members of Gotham City.. are you really going to pass up an opportunity like that?" You goaded him.

Joker had the decency to look insulted. "Bunny! Are you suggesting I would, uh hurt, innocent people at a gala, the very same one my Bunny is attending?!"

"Yes." You snort.

He added onto the dramatics by clutching imaginary pearls and pretending to faint. J swore up and down he was attending just to 'keep you safe' and that he would do nothing nefarious.

Yeah and pig could fly.

The night of the event rolled around. You donned a floor length gown that complimented your skin tone beautifully. He couldn't keep his eyes off you all the way to the event even as he parted ways to avoid being seen with you. (He hated that) Joker was ever grateful it was a masquerade party so he could wear a face mask and blend in better.

[AN: Is anyone picking up the Phantom of the Opera vibes I'm putting down? I have the theme sheet music framed 🤭]

There was an full orchestra in the hall and they played soft classical music for the fellow partygoers to talk over. It was soooooo boring, Joker wanted to slit his throat until the music lulled to a silence and the announcer's voice spoke over the mic.

"Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to present tonight's guest performer, Miss Y/n Ln!"

You flushed under all the attention but walked towards the center stage where an odd contraption was resting. You sat elegantly on a stool and Joker watched in awe as you leaned the instrument onto your shoulder before taking a deep breath.

Then his heart stopped.

Of course, how could be so stupid? Only a goddess could play something so angelic.

You were a harpist.

And the way your delicate little fingers plucked the harp's strings to create a melody, one unlike Joker has ever heard, was mesmerizing. In seconds you captured the entire ballroom's attention.

Not a murmur was heard as you played Peaches to utter perfection. The stuck up members of the crowd were clueless to what they were actually listening to.

A chill ran down Joker's spine as he watched you, eyes closed head bowed, playing this alluring piece. Your body moved with the notes as if you were dancing and your soft, billowy attire amplified the vision. Although you wore heels, you balanced yourself on your tippy toes and swayed with the instrument.

In essence, you were a goddess in the flesh and Joker couldn't be more obsessed.

The last note rang out flawlessly in the ballroom and you gently rocked the heavy harp back onto its base, before standing up and bowing yourself. Not two seconds later, a round of applause erupted in the room. None of them mattered, you only wanted one person's praise and your eyes quickly scanned the crowd for the full white mask you arrived with.

Then you found him. Joker was hidden in the shadows but close enough to rush in and protect you at a moment's notice. But currently he was eyeing you with adoration and a hint of lust.

People were asking for an encore but you knew your next performance would be with Joker in the privacy of your apartment.

[sukirichi]

not shy

megumi was not shy around his crush — and that’s a fucking lie.

request: shy megumi who is really flustered around his crush + his friends and gojo-sensei helping him confess

note: this is fluff and a semi crack fic too LOL i hope you guys enjoy this, i had a lot of fun with this one! unedited too, as usual!

word count: 4.5k

masterlist !

playlist made by the lovely @savantsoulfinder​ thank you so much! 

“Yo, Megumi-kun, can you take—” Satoru halted in his steps, following the trail of sight that his dark-haired student seemed to be so enamoured in to not even notice his teacher walk his way. “What are you staring at?” when his gaze landed on you, head thrown back in laughter and slapping Panda’s arm over Yuuji’s joke, Satoru’s eyes beamed even under the blindfold. “Oh? You like Y/N?”

Upon hearing your name, Megumi immediately snapped back to life. He scoffed and turned away from you, scowling to himself with his arms crossed against his chest. “No, I don’t. I don’t like anyone.” So defensive.

“Is that so?” Satoru teased while biting back his laughter, “Guess you won’t mind if I call her then. Hey, Y/N!”

“Gojo-sensei, what’re you doing?!” Megumi grabbed his teacher’s sleeve, whisper-hissing and cursing under his breath when Satoru caught your attention. You waved at them both, skipping until you were getting impossibly closer and closer and closer.

“Well, I don’t want you to carry these all alone. You’re gonna need some help.”

“I’m perfectly fine – h-hi.”

Shit, you were now here. You smiled up at him, hands folded below your bottom before tipping your head to the side, looking under Megumi’s ducked head to see his face. “Hey there, Megumi! Looking cute today,” you winked, causing the poor boy to blush madly. You never noticed, though, your attention now taken by your teacher turning red as he stopped his laughter. “Gojo-sensei! You called me?”

“Oh yeah, you’re just right on time. I was going to ask Megumi here to bring these books all back to my office but it’s probably too heavy for him so I asked—”

“It’s not heavy,” Megumi took the books that Satoru placed in your welcoming arms, the slightest touch sending jolts of electricity down his spine. He pulled away and clutched the books closer to himself at the sudden buzz, narrowing his eyes at his teacher who obviously couldn’t mind his own business. “I can carry it by myself.”

“I still wanna help, and I really don’t mind. Plus, I haven’t talked to you in a long time. I actually kind of feel like you’re avoiding me,” you pouted, and that simple gesture had Megumi feeling like he was sinking deeper into the ground.

He was ready for the whole world to swallow him up.

Satoru took pleasure in Megumi’s reddish ears and clenched jaw, cupping his own jaw with his hands as if to mock. “Aw, Megumi, why would you avoid precious Y/N? Did she do something wrong to you?”

“No, she didn’t.”

“Well, if there’s nothing wrong, you two better scoot before you get late to your other class!”

“Alright, see you around, Gojo-sensei!” Shit, why were you such a good girl? Now he was stuck with you, and Megumi huffed while hesitantly sharing the books with him. You walked close enough to him that he caught a slight whiff of your shampoo, the scent clouding over his usually sharp mind. Now, though, Megumi could barely recognize the hallways he walked on, relying only on you to lead the way. “So...how’ve you been?”

“Fine.”

“How about your studies? We have an exam next week – maybe you want to study together? Inumaki-senpai and I were supposed to have a study group with the others but everyone just wants to study by themselves,” you turned to him with a small smile, “I do better when I’m with someone though.”

Megumi managed to give you a split second glance before he darted his eyes back in front of him again, swallowing audibly because he couldn’t understand why you had to look so pretty smiling like that.

His palms grew sweaty with each passing second, and he grimaced at the uncomfortably feeling of his collar getting sticky. “Uh, wh-where would we study? We don’t have a library or anything.”

“The training grounds is refreshing, but I’d like it to do it better in my room.”

“Do what?” Megumi halted in his steps, his eyes blown wide at your words.

“Study, of course. What else?”

He wasn’t sure whether to laugh or be worried that you frowned in confusion, almost as if you didn’t understand the weight of your words. But then again, you’d always been so damn oblivious that it made sense. Megumi shook his head, continuing on to the teacher’s office before remembering he still lost his sense of direction, so he bit his lip, obediently following you around like a puppy.

“You shouldn’t just invite anyone to your room, you know.”

Once you both made it to the empty room, you carefully placed the books down on Satoru’s desk. He raised a brow at the extra detail you put into, tongue peeking out from the edges of your lips as you made sure all of them were placed together neatly.

Satisfied with your work, you clapped your hands and turned to him.

“I’m not. You’re not just anyone to me, Megumi,” Suddenly, you leaned over him, his mind screaming at him when your lips lowered down to his neck. Megumi’s spine stiffened so quick he might as well be a flat board, his chin pressed to his neck when he felt your teeth graze his exposed skin for a moment. “There’s a loose thread,” you showed him a small thread with a small smile, which fell as fast when you saw Megumi standing uncomfortably straight. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to invade your personal space like that!” “I’m a little weird, aren’t I? That would explain why you’ve been avoiding me. Do I make you feel uncomfortable?”

“No, it’s not that...it’s just...”

“Just what?”

His mind blanked. Ask him anything about curses or their history and pretty much anything – he’d be able to answer – but not this. They didn’t teach this in the books and out of frantic nervousness, Megumi ended up spewing the first thing he could think of, his brows drawn together that only added to his intimidating look.

“I’m just annoyed that you scored higher than me on the previous exam.”

“Oh,” you fell for it, snapping your fingers together as you laughed. Somehow, the sound of your melodious laughter had his shoulders easing from the tension, the smallest of smiles hinting at the edge of his lips. Gosh, he was so whipped for you. “Was that really it? I thought you were avoiding me for something serious! Well, how about this, let’s study together and let’s see who’s the smarter one. The loser will get tickled to death!”

“I haven’t even agreed to that condition yet.”

“Okay, what do you want if you win?”

Megumi blushed as he blurted out, “You.”

Before he could regret what he just said, you scrunched your nose and pointed to yourself. “Me what? You want me to do something? You want me to buy you ice cream or—”

“Never mind,” he mumbled behind his palm that was now covering his mouth, refusing to show you that he actually wanted to laugh at how naive you could be. Not that he was complaining; it saved him great pain that you could never know his feelings for you. “I’ll ask for it when I’m sure I’ll win.”

“Ah, not a man of uncalculated risks, I see,” you ruffled his hair, the poor boy stiffening up again under your touch. “This is why I like you so much. You’re so thoughtful.”

“Please don’t touch my hair.”

Megumi was complaining, his shoulders raised beside his ears while he scowled at you, but the way a small, almost inaudible purr left his lips said otherwise. He didn’t want you touching his hair – only because he was shy and it would be the death of him if you saw how easily flustered he was around you.

Thankfully, you showered mercy upon him, raising your hands in surrender. “Alright, alright, we should go back to class now.”

Megumi sighed in relief, content for now to walk you all the way back to class as you talked about your day. He wasn’t actually listening, but a stupid smile was there on his face, anyway. He likened the sound of your voice to those of birds chirping and sunshine waking – and he felt like he was the fresh earth you always kissed.

“You’re going to burn a hole in her if you keep staring at her like that.”

“Shut up,” Megumi averted his eyes away from you, stabbing his yogurt with his plastic fork. A part of him felt annoyed that you just had to look so pretty today, your bright voice filling in the cafeteria that put his constant sour mood to shame. The stark difference between you two made Megumi sigh in his seat, abandoning his fork as he leaned back. There was no way you’d like him back. “I wasn’t looking at anyone.”

“Ugh, why are boys so creepy? Staring at Y/N like that, ew.”

Yuuji ignored Nobara’s comment, and for once, Megumi let it slide when Nobara stealed his untouched yogurt. “Why don’t you just tell her you like her? She’s literally the sweetest person ever – the chances of her turning you down are low!”

Nobara snorted, “Yeah, but if the sweetest girl in school rejects you, that’s really humiliating. That would mean she likes everyone but you.”

Satoru popped out of nowhere – that stupid blindfolded bastard who started all this – his arms looped around Yuuji’s neck whose entire face illuminated at having his favourite teacher around. “I think the scary-looking Megumi-chan is actually just too shy to be confess,” he wiggled his eyebrows, pointing a finger fun to Megumi’s deadly narrowed gaze. “Can you believe it? My dark, brooding student is hopelessly in love with the cute, sunshine girl next door that he’s so scared around her? Isn’t that so adorable—”

“Everyone shut up!” he hissed through gritted teeth, “I’m not scared of anyone or anything.”

“Then tell her you like her.”

“Fine, I will.”

“I bet you ten dollars he won’t do it,” Satoru whispered, the two students who shared one brain cell beside him nodding eagerly.

“I said I will!”

“Good morning, Megumi! Come in, come in,” you ushered him in once he stood frozen at your door, his hands now awkwardly clutching his own notes. “You can take a seat on the bed.”

Megumi wasn’t nervous of the fact this was his first time visiting a girl’s room, but rather because it was yours, and each part of your room resembled you greatly. From the organized and clean space, but the noticeable adorable little trinkets and polaroids of you with everyone sticking on the wall, he could feel your entire soul living in that room. When his eyes landed on an old photo of you holding up the peace sign and noticed for the first time he was standing in the background, unaware he was captured in the frame, Megumi inhaled sharply.

Had you pretended to take a selfie just to see him there?

No, he shook his head, there was just no way. He really couldn’t ponder about it long enough because you’d dragged him by the sleeve until he was sitting right next to you, the fresh scent of your body wash making him feel stunningly warm inside his clothes even when the windows were open.

The whole time, Megumi couldn’t absorb a single thing you were saying.

He was just too distracted by everything about you – the way your lips moved when you spoke, how you’d tuck back a stray hair behind your ear, even to the way your mouth would form an ‘o’ shape as you learned something new. No, he couldn’t focus at all.

Megumi has lost count of the times he’d wiped his shaky, sweaty palms on the pads of his sweatpants, hitching his breath every time you leaned close to him to glance at his notes.

At this rate, he’d be the loser in your little competition. It was just impossible for him to focus on anything else.

“Megumi?” you waved your hands in front of him. When it wasn’t enough to get his attention, you resorted to flicking his forehead and he yelped, rubbing at the sore spot. He faced you, a complaint ready to be spoken when his eyes widened at the sudden lack of proximity, your nose booping against his. “Hello, Megumi? I’ve asked you the same question twice now and you haven’t answered yet.”

As nicely as he could, he pushed your face away, his heart thumping loudly when you laughed as you went back to your own space. “Sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn’t really listening.”

“Yeah, I can tell, you were just staring at me the whole time,” you held your phone up in front of your face, checking your reflection on the screen on different angles. He watched, enchanted by how gorgeous you looked no matter what side. “Is there something on my face...? I’ve been checking non-stop and I don’t see anything weird.”

Megumi swallowed nervously, “There’s nothing wrong with your face. I just can’t focus. You’re too close and I-I can smell you.”

“Do I smell bad?!”

“No, you don’t! You smell really sweet!”

“Aw, thanks! You smell sexy too,” you winked at him, wiggling your shoulders as if to share your scent with him. Megumi’s eyes widened when your shoulder rubbed against his, and he recoiled, arm placed over his nose to hide his emotions that were a train wreck right now.

“Sexy?” he spluttered, “Why would you say – me – sexy? You’re so weird, Y/N. You shouldn’t say stuff like that.”

You patted his thigh in a manner that should be comforting, but the teasing smile on your face only had him wanting to jump out the window even more. Then, you stood up and stretched the material of your shirt riding up until he caught sight of your navel. Megumi turned away and closed his eyes, cheeks trapped between his teeth. “We should take a break. Treat’s on me – where do you want to go?”

“Err,” he scratched the back of his head.

“Oh, don’t look too worried, it’s a weekend. Plus, Gojo-Sensei isn’t around to bother us or something.”

“You...you want to go out...” he drawled out slowly, tentatively, surely – just to make sure that he was hearing it right. “...with me?”

“Yeah, I did just ask where you want to go.”

“Oh,” Megumi nodded with a blank face. Then, your words sank in, and he folded his knees to his chest to hide his face and his sickly sweet smile, the butterflies in his stomach progressing into a fucking zoo. “Oh.”

“Are you sick? You’re so red,” your palm connected with his heated forehead, “Megumi, you’re burning! Should I take you to Ieri-san?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” he pushed your hand away, still repudiating to look you in the eye. He just couldn’t, not when you were too inquisitive and he could easily give a dead clue before he got the chance to properly confess. “I mean, I don’t really have a certain place in mind. I’ll go wherever you want to go.”

He should’ve noticed it then – the mischievous glint in your eye that told him you weren’t up to no good. But because his knees always weakened around you, Megumi agreed way too eagerly than he’d like. “Just make sure you don’t regret it, okay? There’s something I’ve always been wanting to try but I never got the chance to and no one wanted to go with me, so you’ll be my willing victim!” And so, half an hour later, Megumi’s jaw dropped as the chill of the arena nipped at his skin. You didn’t even tell him to bring a jacket. “Ta-da!”

“Ice skating?”

You nodded happily, dragging him all the way to the shoe fittings. “It’s going to be fun, come on!”

“But I don’t know how to.”

“Neither do I!” Megumi wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t know how to. No matter how much he tried so hard to learn, he just couldn’t balance himself. The sound of your laughter that let him know you enjoyed this way too much reached his ears as he glared at the ice, his ears red either from the cold or the humiliation of being an utter failure in front of you, of all people! “Need some help there, buddy?”

“I’m fine, thanks for asking. And no, I can do this by myself.”

You masked your chuckle with a snicker, squatting to watch as he struggled to heave himself up back to his feet. “Really? You’ve fallen like, a hundred times now.”

“Shut up. Humans aren’t naturally supposed to do this anyway. We don’t have a human instinct to be upright – whoa!” Megumi slipped again from the ice, this time knocking you down with him. Instead of it being romantic where you two ended up gazing at each other with love in your eyes, your eyes widened into saucers as his elbow landed into your belly, crushing the wind out of your body.

“Ow!”

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to – ugh, this is why I said it was a bad idea!”

All the way back home, Megumi was still entirely convinced it was a bad idea. You were limping beside him, having to use his bicep as a crutch with your head resting on his shoulder. You and your stupid ideas, really, now you were injured and sprained your ankle from the fall. Instead of worrying about your own safety, you only slapped your knee in laughter as the medics fixed you up, still in disbelief that Megumi had fallen a lot of times yet came out unscathed.

“Megumi~ are you still mad at me? Why won’t you talk to me?” you pouted, squeezing his bicep to get his attention.

“It’s because I told you it was dangerous. Look at you – your knees are all scraped and your legs are all wobbly. We’ve still got a long way back home.”

“Maybe you should carry me then.”

“C-carry you?”

“Yeah, so I don’t fall,” you snorted, pointing to your shoeless ankle covered in bandages. “I mean, it was your fault I’m injured. If you hadn’t fallen for me, then this wouldn’t have happened.”

Fallen for you? Did you know that he – ? Megumi’s head snapped to yours so hard he nearly had whiplash, but the only thing he could focus on was the pounding of drums within his chest. “F-fall? How did you know?”

“Megumi, you literally fell on top of me. Don’t think I’ve forgotten already.”

That had him blinking back, his face flattening into a blank expression. Then, he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he stopped in his tracks. “Sometimes I forget you’re terribly naive.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing. Now get on,” With burning cheeks and a heart that fluttered way too much than what was considered healthy, Megumi squatted down to the ground, patting his back with a groan. You less than jumped into his arms, a little too excited to get a piggyback ride and Megumi expressed his faux distress with a groan. You only pinched his ear and told him to pay you back for your injuries, which made him complain again.

In the end, he was just happy you couldn’t see how much he struggled to hide his smile then, for if you saw it, you’d surely believe he was crazy.

Or so he thought. By the time you’d gotten back to the dorms, you were long passed out on his back. There was a small patch of drool on the back of his shirt and he shuddered, then wiped it away by whispering to himself, it’s okay – as long as it’s you.

Padding back to the dorms wasn’t as difficult as he thought it would be, considering everyone was almost asleep or out to the city as well.

Megumi gently laid you down on the bed, wrapping the blanket around you and making sure your head was comfortable on the pillow. He stayed there for a solid minute, just staring and memorizing your pretty features until he felt confident he could draw it upon memory. Not wanting to be creepy though, he cleared his throat, about to leave the room when your fingers tugged at his wrist.

“Megumi,” you moaned sleepily, “Don’t go. It’s too cold.”

“I’ll get you another blanket.”

“No, stay,” you whined, patting the space next to you. “Please?”

“To sleep here with you?” he asked, baffled and at the same time elated. The last thing he wanted to be was a pervert and he’d never outright admit that his thoughts of you hadn’t always been giggles and rainbows, but he pushed those down, reminding himself that this is you – he respected you above all else. His self restraint slowly thinned though, whatnot with you pouting up at him like that.

Megumi groaned and took off his shoes anyway, planting himself beside you. “This is insane. I think I’m losing my mind,” he muttered to himself. “Move over and make space for me,” you obediently followed his command, using his bicep as a pillow while your cheek squished against his chest. He wondered how you weren’t bothered by his heart’s beating, or maybe it soothed you to sleep because you were falling deeper and deeper asleep, burying yourself in his arms. “God, this is so uncomfortable. I feel like I’m crushing you—”

“So warm,” you cut him off, his mind turning completely mental as he felt your lips pad over his chin. “Goodnight, Megumi.”

How did you expect him to sleep now?

But as soon as you’d settled and only your stabled breathing could be heard from the room, Megumi’s eyes began to droop as well, and it didn’t take long before his arms relaxed around you, lazily pulling the covers up to cover the both of you.

He’ll tell you another time.

“MEGUMI!” you pushed through everyone and showed him your paper, the bold red mark of 100 glaring back at him. Before he could respond, you stole his test paper from him, laughing at the sad 98 that showed. “Ah, I won!” In the blink of an eye, you’d tackled him to the ground, your knees keeping his legs locked underneath you, test papers flying around the field. Your hands were relentless and brutal as it ran and poked up his sides, eliciting squeaky little gasps from him.

“Stop, stop!” Megumi doubled over in laughter, keeping his feet flat on the ground to prevent himself from accidentally kneeing you. He’d hurt you enough during the ice skating dilemma – he didn’t want to cause you anymore injuries. “No, stop!”

“I won, Megumi, I won! Face the tickle monster!”

“I said stop or else!” he warned, completely aware that he wasn’t as threatening or serious as he wanted to be when tears leaked from his eyes, his laughter embarrassingly giggly and high pitched.

“Or what, loser?”

“I’ll kiss you until you shut up!”

“That’s adorable, but let’s see you try!” you kept tickling his sides, the both of you completely oblivious that the rest of your classmates – your teacher who was more than supportive of this pairing included – were hiding behind a bush, their phones whipped out to capture each second of this moment. “Loser!”

As you mocked him one more time that you wouldn’t stop tickling “losers,” Megumi had to draw the line. Using all his strength, he flipped you over until you were underneath him, the sheer force of the impact keeping you nestled between his arms.

Both of you were panting, but this time his breath was taken away from how beautiful you looked under him like that. Such innocent eyes staring back up at him, but don’t think for a moment he didn’t notice how your eyes trailed over his lips. He knew – because he was doing the same, his grip subconsciously gripping harder at your wrists. If he leaned down...

“This is taking too long!” someone whined from behind the bushes, tips of white hair peaking from the plant. “Just kiss her already!”

Both of you turned at the source of the voice, simultaneously shouting, “Gojo-sensei?!”

“Don’t be shy, Megumi-kun! Just tell her already or I’ll tell her myself.”

“Tell me what?”

Now that your face was peering up at him, he knew he was trapped. Cornered. Megumi closed his eyes, hands trembling and losing their grip around you as he was confronted by the situation. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner,” he fumbled over his words, “But I...I actually—”

“Boring! What kind of confession is this? Say it louder and clearer or she won’t be impressed! Is that how a man does it, Megumi-kun? You can do better—”

“All of you, shut the fuck up!” he roared to his peers who only cackled around the bushes, Yuuji and Gojo-sensei doubling over in laughter while Toge bit his collar to stop the gleeful sounds leaving his mouth. Irritation and humiliation bubbling up in his chest, Megumi finally found the courage to confess. “I like you, okay? I’ve always had a crush—”

You sat up to wrap your arms around his neck, silencing him with a sloppy kiss. At first, your lips kissed the edges of his mouth before Megumi groaned, his large hand clasping the back of your neck to guide you to where he wanted you to be. Smiling through the kiss, you pulled away, rubbing your nose on him affectionately. “Me too, Megumi,” you giggled, “I like you too. Actually, no, I fell in love the moment you almost broke your nose on the ice—” he cut you off by kissing you again, his grip on your waist threatening, “Hey, no fair, I was still confessing!”

“I wasn’t kidding when I said I’ll kiss you to make you shut up,” his confidence had now risen up, all traces of the shy Megumi now gone. “Now tell me that again. Tell me you like me.”

“Okay, but can I get another kiss?”

“You’ll be spoiled rotten.”

“I think I deserve it, don’t you think? I’m pretty cute – you’re lucky you get to kiss—” Megumi tugged you by your collar to slam your lips on his, his teeth nibbling at your lower lip. You tugged at his hair playfully and laughed, slapping his shoulder gently to tap out. “Fine, fine. I like you too!”

“Say it again. Please.”

“Not so shy now, eh, Megumi?” Satoru teased for the final time, and Megumi was so close to bursting a vein in his neck when his teacher showed up from the bushes, sexily posing on the grass as he winked at the both of you.

“SHUT UP!”

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

Idk if you do one shots inspired in songs, but if so, Would you mind doing one with a Taylor Swift's song which is called "The 1"? With Mason Mount please

< i love taylor so much and i really hope i didn’t completely butcher this, but thanks for the challenge :) >

MASON MOUNT ONESHOT

the 1

( WARNING: little bit of angst and fluff?, swearing )

word count: 1.8k

Things don’t often go as we expect them to, and it’s often incredibly difficult to replan your life around that massive change and adapt your lifestyle so you can — in reality — live again.

It’s like trying to find your feet when you’re in the air — it feels impossible but you know with time you’ll eventually meet the ground again.

That’s what it felt like when you and Mason broke up four years ago.

You were fresh out of uni and at the time, you really thought he’d be it for you, and honestly, so did he. A break up thrown into the mix of having to navigate adult life just seemed to put a huge stopper on all your plans; the holiday you two had both booked for a weekend away in Ireland, the meals out with friends that you had to cancel, and the house showings you were set to attend.

Looking back on your relationship now, you realise it wouldn’t have been the worst thing to end up with Mason. All the years and effort and time put into loving him were — without a doubt — some of the best years of your life (at that stage in life), and did you regret it?

Not one single bit.

But four years is the perfect amount of time to heal, remove the salt from the wound and finish grieving.

But he was here. In real life.

You’d imagined running into him in the supermarket or on a night out with your friends, but a bus stop?

That one was weird. Mainly because you both hated catching the bus with a burning passion.

But it lead to a catch up over coffee.

It was a quiet place, out of the way of the usual lunchtime hustle and bustle in the city, and for that you were grateful. You could hear your own thoughts.

It was awkward at first, you couldn’t keep your eyes from fixating on his figure, his features, because four years can really change a person. He was much broader, his hair a little shorter, but he was still that same Mason you once loved.

You knew that because the first thing he did when he sat down was offer you that cheeky, charming smile that had you hooked from the second you met.

He’d asked how you were, and you answered honestly: you were living well, your best life, and to the fullest. And you knew and he knew that it wasn’t a lie.

He could tell by the smile on your face and the new, sparkling band on your wedding finger. He half expected that blow to sting a little — that you’d found someone and he hadn’t, but he was never one to be bitter whatsoever, at least, not when it came to you.

Instead, he offered his congratulations and the only inkling of regret he held was not being there when it happened.

I guess you never know, never know,

And if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed,

And if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow,

And it’s alright now.

There was silence after that.

You had one thing on your mind, and you knew by the way he was looking at you that he was also thinking the same thing.

You took a sip of your coffee.

He mirrored your actions, seemingly startled when you placed your mug onto your saucer, the chink of porcelain against porcelain echoing around the small shop cutting through the previous quietness.

“I think I hated you for a while.” You murmured, and if Mason wasn’t leant over the table slightly, he would’ve missed the statement completely.

He nodded in understanding, his brown eyes shining with the faintest hint of guilt.

“I think I was so frustrated with the idea that we just…didn’t work, and I blamed it on you.” You paused, fingers twisting your rings.

He paused, mulling over his words, “And now? Still hate me now?”

You bit back a small smile and met his eyes, “No…I think it’d take a whole load of bad shit to get me to hate you.”

He smiled.

“That’s good to know.”

“I mean, I think it was a long time coming anyway, that break up.”

“It didn’t feel right for a while.”

“No,” you agreed, “as much as it hurt to admit, I think we just failed…as a couple. There was a point where we were just together for the sake of not giving up on the relationship, but with no real reason to continue.”

But we were something, don't you think so?

Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool,

And if my wishes came true,

It would've been you,

In my defense, I have none,

For never leaving well enough alone,

But it would've been fun,

If you would've been the one.

He seemed to ponder over your words, and although he never voiced it, he came to the conclusion that you’d just put into words — perfectly — the itch that had been tickling his brain for the past few years.

“Despite that, you can’t deny that we weren’t something…” he started, before breaking off and shaking his head, as if the mere thought was ridiculous.

“We were something special. I think, had things stayed like they were in the beginning, that…you and I…” you waved your hand, tilting your head, and he nodded in agreement, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Me too. I think…in another life we could have made each other happy. It would have been fun.”

The words ‘if you would’ve been the one’ echoed in your head, and despite the passive aggressiveness of your conscience, you found yourself holding back a smile.

“Water fights in winter and eggs with ketchup…perfect. I’d never have gotten tired of that.” You mused, and he spluttered slightly on his coffee, laughing along with you in what felt like a decade.

I have this dream you're doing cool shit,

Having adventures on your own,

You meet some woman on the internet and take her home,

We never painted by the numbers, baby,

But we were making it count,

You know the greatest loves of all time are over now.

“Then again, who knows? Maybe you’ll fall over in the airport and some lucky person will help you off the floor—”

“You’re about to say something cheesy, aren’t you?” Mason covered his mouth, scrunching his nose in anticipation as you nodded.

“All this nostalgic bullshit has me emotional! I swear, just this once…just this once, and I promise you can laugh about it afterwards.” You swore, holding out your pinkie for confirmation.

He didn’t hesitate, and linked your pinkie.

“You’ll find someone else. It’ll be love at first sight—hey, let me have this moment…maybe love at second sight, knowing you… you’ll go to some really magical place and have the most amount of fun you’re ever gonna have…hikes, skydiving, looking after animals I’m sanctuaries…you’re gonna have the time of your life — like Grey and Swayze.” You sniggered, unable to hold in your laughs at the ridiculous scenarios.

Mason pulled a face, unable to hide a smile.

“Okay, okay. End of story: they’ll be perfect. The Chandler to your Monica or the Robin to your Ted. But, you understand what I’m talking about, right?” You asked, sighing out of frustration.

“You’re saying I’ll find my person.” He concluded, sitting back in his chair.

“Yeah.”

We were something, don't you think so?

Rosé flowing with your chosen family,

And it would've been sweet,

If it could've been me,

In my defense, I have none,

For digging up the grave another time,

But it would've been fun,

If you would've been the one.

“Like…your grandma and grandad. I want what they have.” Mason smiled.

“They’ll be pleased to hear that,” you said, “I don’t think they’re quite over us yet. You were too…you at family meals. They fell in love with you too.”

This time Mason really laughed. Really laughed. He threw his head back and the people working at the counter turned to look at him, fighting their own smiles at his carefree nature.

What you’d said wasn’t even that funny.

“Too me? Thanks, I think?”

“Oh, that’s definitely a compliment. You’re too damn charming for your own good, it’s a problem. You should come with a warning label on your forehead: EASY TO LOVE.”

“That’ll solve a lot of problems.”

There was silence.

It was relieving to say the least.

“That whole conversation was about four years too late.” You said, pursing your lips.

“Better late than never.” Mason murmured, his eyes trained on you.

The pressure on your shoulders was lifted. All the things that needed to be said were said.

As time passes, the wound heals — sometimes, but in your case, that was true, as hard as it was to come to that conclusion — and it suddenly became easier to recall the loss of what might have been without bringing you back to wishing it would be again.

It was nice.

“Would it be totally inappropriate—”

“Not at all.” You interrupted, shrugging at his raised eyebrows.

“You didn’t know what I was going to say.” He chuckled.

“I’ll have you know that years of knowing you granted me the issue of knowing what you’re going to say,” You said, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction.

“What was I going to say?” He challenged, “If you get it right, I’ll get you tickets to the next game.”

You raised your brows.

“Confident, are we?”

He shrugged, a smug smirk on his lips.

“I don’t think it’s totally inappropriate to be friends.” At your words, he slumped in his chair, hands going to cover his face.

“No.” He groaned, repeating the word like a mantra as you pumped the air with your fist.

“Three tickets to the next game in the bag.” You bragged.

“Honestly.” He whined, peeling his hands away. “Why are you so difficult?”

“You offered the terms.”

“Why am I so dumb?” He rephrased.

“Ah, I'm afraid only you can answer that one.”

“The brain cells I have left don’t have enough energy to come up with an answer to a question as philosophical as that one—yes, it was philosophical to me, okay?”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” You promised, putting your hands in the air in surrender.

“Just remember who’s going to give you those tickets, yeah?” He teased, sitting up.

“Abusing your power, nice move.”

“Oh…shut up.”

“Weak.” You coughed, trying to disguise the fact you said anything.

He looked straight at you, highly unimpressed by your tactics.

“Very original.” Was all he said.

“Is it supposed to be this easy?” You blurted out, spitting out the words before you could rethink the consequences of them being thrown into the abyss between you and Mason.

He knitted his brows together in thought.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly, “but we were friends way before, it’s not hard to fall back into old habits. I think that’s why it’s so easy.”

[daydream-believin]

MERLIN’S APPRENTICE & MERLIN’S CHAMPION || trollhunters

warnings: swearing

a/n: if rott gave me anything it gave me this idea

I KNOW I SAID “JUICY” BUT REALLY THAT WAS JUST THE ANGST POTENTIAL,, THAT IM NOT INDULGING IN THIS POST IM SORRY LMAO

OKAY WHAT IM REALLY TALKING BOUT HERE IS A GOOD MERLIN/ARTHUR BUT IT ACTUALLY WORKS

no sorry i haven’t seen bbc merlin don’t come for me i’m ignorant

OKAY SO

we know douxie kept an eye on the human trollhunter and co

but douxie’s really having a hard time convincing himself he’s just doing his job

he’s actually enjoying this a little too much despite how boring staying in the shadows is

and he’s kinda worried?

so he’s got this bright idea: you know what would better help him keeps tabs? if he befriends this person

and so he does

fuck merlin’s shadows

sod the rules

ofc he’s very up front about knowing they’re the trollhunter and that he’s merlin’s apprentice

we wouldn’t want that to become a huge festering secret that eats douxie from the inside out until the inevitable reveal when merlin calls them both to help with the arcane order and they realize they’ve both been lying to each other’s faces for months/years and neither of them know if they could ever trust the other again, right? — phew *catches breath*

but before you know it, mr. casperan and mx. trollhunter are best friends

he’s basically the toby to your jim

and you’re very happy to have a best friend like douxie

he understands that monster hunting hustle

he’s the only person you can vent to and actually talk about what’s going on without sounding like a loon

and douxie likes being able to tell someone all his frustrations with merlin, since you’re also in that boat with him

you spar sometimes. it’s fun, but you’re very careful not to accidentally hurt your friend (he’s extremely careful not to hurt you or wound your ego by effortlessly wiping you out)

ofc, there’s the occasional, brushing of hands, faces a little too close together, accidentally winding up on top of one another, purposefully winding up on top of one another 👀 you know how sparring be

you and douxie are a duo. a duo who have become trollmarket’s resident troublemakers, to vendel’s exasperation

you guys tease each other a lot

you do a lot of stupid shit, cause hey, now you have magic armor and a magic sword and a magic best friend, did you think you wouldn’t get up to some shenanigans?

douxie is your impulse control and he’s not a very good one, as he’s just as bad

truthfully archie has the brain cell

and pranks? gods the pranks. you two are always either pranking each other or you’re teaming up to prank some other troll who said smth mean to you in the pub. vendel had to personally put a stop to it (read: chew you out)

doux thinks the world of you tho, you’re such a noble knight, and likes to tell people about how you’re a cinnamon roll, so innocent, so pure

and then they meet you and you directly contradict those statements

trollhunter: i’ve never done anything wrong in my life, ever

douxie: i know this and i love you

(spoiler: you’ve done lots and lots of wrong)

doux spends an awful lot of time slinking around trollmarket now, and he’s in the know for everything that’s happening

(no more being kept in the dark for this wizard apprentice)

and doux knows merlin won’t completely approve of this, but hey, it’s not like he’s helping and thus directly disobeying

really, he’s not helping you at all, it’s really fucking annoying

okay so mayyybe the occasional healing spell. you’ve got those puppy dog eyes he can’t say no to

but you understand his sense of duty, or whatever it is that drives a follower, technically being a follower of merlin yourself

you respect the old geezer (as you have not been turned into a half-troll yet) as a wise mythical figure, and as your best friend’s father

and what a perfect match you are for each other, champion and apprentice, mutually being screwed over by a guy you both think has all the answers

you and douxie help each other grow in your self-worths, that you two are more than the chances merlin has given to you

unfortunately, mortifyingly, you have caught feelings.

douxie has also caught feelings, and is saying nothing yep you have enough on your plate without him putting this on you so he’ll just quietly pine and suffer don’t mind him choking to death in the corner when you take off your helmet and throw back your hair

y’all’s problem really starts manifesting itself as protectiveness. you are really protective of your wizard and he is really protective of his knight

lots of things said that are Not What Friends Say but neither of you really want to be the one to point that out

lots and lots of i love yous that slowly get more and more serious until it’s not exactly platonic anymore

and it’s just really nice to have someone to get coffee (or your favored hot drink) with at four in the morning after a tussle with a troll

and that’s basically how you and douxie spend the bulk of trollhunters, just vibing

as much as you can vibe, with all the changelings and shit trying to murder you all the time

then merlin wakes up and shakes up your world

you are aware of your impending doom

you’re aware of it

merlin keeps looking you up and down like he’s mentally making up the measurements of your coffin

and tbh the idea of fighting gunmar freaks you tf out

and you’re supposed to win that fight?

gods

you’re preparing for your nightmares coming true soon

truthfully you knew your fucking job had a 100% mortality rate

you don’t want to die with regrets

so

you spill

you spill all the things you’d wanted to tell him and how much he means to you and that you couldn’t bear it if you were a goner before he knew

miraculously, douxie feels the same and tells you all the things he’d been holding back and and what you mean to him and how much he wants to protect you, that you’re gonna make it, if he had anything to say about it

and everything is perfect for one night

now you have a real reason to win

not that saving humanity isn’t a big responsibility on your shoulders and definitely A Reason

but knowing douxie’s waiting for you, for the life you’ll build together after this, the peace you’ll both have, it’s absolutely a big motivation to give your all and come out victorious and survive

hahaha loser you don’t know about the arcane order

and then merlin uses your microwave to cook a weird potion

you and merlin are alone in the house, but there’s no real mind games necessary. you may have grown past thinking he was a god, but in the end, you’re still a follower of merlin, and if merlin thinks this could give you an edge, well, who are you to question his methods

doesn’t mean you aren’t nervous as your master hands you the bottle

yet you don’t even hesitate to drown yourself in the black abyss of the tub

whatever it takes amirite?

and now you’re a half-troll

a sexy half-troll, if you do say so yourself

yeah, no ‘i’m a monster’ angst here, you’re loving the power-up

you’ve got to treat it like a cool new power-up or you will cry actually tbh i lied about the no-angst thing a new body is disorienting

your only real concern is douxie

not concerned for long tho, he sees you and the first thing out of his mouth is “nuclear!”

and he senses your concern, so he does go out of his way to assure you that boy, girl, enby, or half-troll, he loves you for your soul, darling

also again half-troll! you is hot as hell so he’s not really losing anything here 👀

he makes sure you know that too, not to let any insecurities fester

him raking his eyes up and down you gives the opposite effect of the dread merlin sent down your spine doing it

anyways,,,

doux helps out a lot more in the eternal night

like helps merlin re-defeat and re-seal morgana

he’ll do it again in few weeks but with a bigger role you know, this is practice

thank merlin for that edge YOU ARE THE LAST TROLLHUNTER YOU ARE VICTORIOUS YOUVE GOT GUNMARS HEAD IN YOUR HANDS HAHAHA

but now you’ve got to go to new jersey

douxie’s been instructed to stay in arcadia tho 🥺

it’s okay, you’ll see each other again soon

sooner than you realize

and until then you talk each other to sleep every night over the phone <3

merlins glad, actually. he’s glad hisirdoux found some solace. even if it is with the lamb he was raising for the slaughter. maybe things will go okay for them. the time map suggests it might be so

hisirdoux may have done things in a way he didn’t quite approve of, but that’s because he’s becoming his own wizard, and merlin is proud

[ajbwasntwriting]

Daughter!Reader X Negan, Reader x Daryl: Chapter 13. Flames

First | Previous | Next

(we using the same gif cause I couldn’t get the bridge gif to work sorry no sorry)

I’ll only post more chapters if previous chapters get a good reaction so if you enjoy this please heart it, reblog it, and/or reply to it. Interaction inspires.

if you wish to be added to the tag list please dm me. All chapters can be found under the tag AJ’s Negan’s Daughter AU

Soon the camp was left near barren. The saviours had made up more than half the work force and as far as it seemed you were the only one left. You spotted Daryl sitting in front of a white tent eating an apple. You bee-lined past Eugene and Rick to him, sitting on the chair just opposite from him.

“Hey” Daryl greeted you warmly. You just smiled at him then went back to staring in the middle ground, leaned down in the chair and your arms crossed. You sat there in peeved silence for a moment, just not wanting to be alone right now. “Heard the yelling match you had-”

“Don’t” You said, closing your eyes and shaking your head in annoyance. “I feel stupid enough as is.”

A hand landed on your knee and Daryl’s gruff voice said “You ain’t stupid, Darlin’”

That made you smile whether you liked it or not. You looked at him through the side of your eye, leaning forward and looking at you with so much love. “Darlin’, huh?” you commented on the new pet name. You uncrossed your arms and took his hand in yours, ignoring how sticky it felt from the apple he was eating. “I could get used to that.”

“Anything I can do for you? You name it, I’ll make it happen.” Daryl said.

“Just sit with me a while.” You droned, clearly exhausted. “Before you gotta up and go again.”

“‘Course” he reassured you, kissing your knuckles. You detached your hands so he could finish his apple and you were happy to sit with him. The noise of the camp was gone and there wasn’t anything you could do, but with Daryl you always felt at ease. Though something seemed off about him. A kind of anger was boiling under your skin. Maybe he was pissed the Saviours up and left too.

Jerry arrived back on horse and was talking to Rick. You didn’t bother yourself with it but Daryl’s interest seemed to be piqued. Especially when he walked by talking rapidly into a walkie talkie. You tuned into the conversation out of curiosity.

“I need you to get an urgent message to Alexandria… If Maggie Rhee shows up, delay her at the gate and alert Michonne right away. Do not... repeat… do not let her in without an escort. Over”

“What’s happening?” You asked Daryl. He didn’t look at you as he stood up. You stood up after him and walked behind

“And, Maggie, if you're listening… let's talk.” Rick tucked the walkie back into his belt.

“Hey. What’s goin’ on?” Daryl asked as he approached.

“Maggie's headed to Alexandria.” Rick explained.

“Is that bad?” You asked.

“She's about do something she might regret.” Rick explained further, grabbing the horse.

“Hop on. I'll take you.” Daryl said.

“You sure? We got enough fuel?” Rick asked, already moving to Daryl’s bike

“Yeah. We’ll get there quicker.” Daryl said, climbing onto the bike. “I’ll be back soon, Darlin’” he called to you.

“Better be in one piece” you shot back.

“I’ll make sure of it, Y/N!” Rick replied. You watched as they took off down the road, leaving you in a crumbling camp.

You wandered around the camp, finding the Alexandrians had left too and what was left of hill top and oceanside were scattered with talk of leaving. You eventually came upon Carol. She was packing up with a group you recognised as the kingdom's people. “You leaving too?” You called, grabbing her attention. You settled onto the heel of your feet and placed your hands into the back pockets of your hips, watching as she asked a nearby man to finish packing up the crate.

“This place is bust, Y/N” She said, walking towards you. “I know you tried earlier but-”

“Yeah” you hissed through your teeth. “I get it.” She looked away, seemingly embarrassed. “You're going back to the kingdom I see.”

“There’s room on the wagon if you want” Carol offered, seemingly remorseful.

“No.” You replied “I told Sanctuary I’d be back.”

Carol shook her head in disbelief then chuckled as she threw her head to the sky then back to you. “I don’t get it. You hated it there!” She expressed while you nodded along in agreement. “But you wanna go back?”

‘I was trying to cover my ass but now everyone who knows me is dead’ you thought. Though that wouldn’t fly. Your childhood made you an adept liar though. ‘No granny those aren’t vomit stains on the carpet I just spilled my porridge. Yes, I eat porridge now.’

“I was scared. And lonely. But in time it got less so.” you explained, not breaking eye-contact. “I don’t know the Saviours you knew, but the ones I know appreciate my work. And they’ve got nothing. I had nothing and Daryl came to me, gave me a shot. I wanna extend that to them.”

“We won’t help,” Carol said. “Too many people were hurt.”

“Well if you’re gonna turn away starving children and hard working people,” You retorted. “We’ll go elsewhere.”

“You’re a horrible liar,” Carol chuckled.

“Right back at ya,” you turned to leave and pack your things when Carol called you. She came up to you and offered you a revolver and a belt holster.

“You’ll need it,” she said. You took the belt and weapon.

“Thanks, Carol.” You said. She pulled you into a hug that you returned with gusto then parted so you could pack your things.

You didn’t have much, mainly your knife and the clothing on your back but Enid had forgotten some valuable supplies in the infirmary. Between that, the change of clothes you had and a couple apples you had hidden away in your tent for later, your bag was bare.

You were about to set out and start dismantling one of the tents to bring back when you heard bullets fly. You immediately got low to the floor and pulled out your gun, checking if it was loaded.

The rounds sounded too rapid to be one sided. You walked out the back of the tent and noticed the shoot out. It was a small group of saviours going after Carol’s group. You took a deep breath and ran out of the tent and behind a nearby tree, then peered out the side and took two quick shots at the group. You managed to hit one and the larger group was now caught off guard. In the time it took you to unload the barrel you downed another two and the fire fight had ended with Carol’s group victorious and a number of the Saviours running back into the woods. They disappeared as quickly as they appeared. You ran over to Carol’s group.

“Is everyone alright?” You asked.

“They got Fred!” one of the hilltoppers yelled. You looked at the armoured body and knew in an instant he was gone from the axe wound alone.

“You gotta come with us,” Carol said to you. “The shots would’ve attracted the herd.”

“Alexandria’s the safest bet with the way that herd is moving” Jerry put in.

“Alexandria it is then,” you agreed, helping load up now. The tents were abandoned. Someone from Oceanside radioed that the camp wasn’t safe but no one checked for a response. Everything was loaded up and the carriages were moved.

Off in Alexandria, in someone else’s world. Maggie entered the dark basement cell. Her face was illuminated by what little light creeped between the shutters. Negan chuckled.

“Aw, she just gave up the keys, huh?” He jested “It's a shame. She got the blade, but you...You got the fire. My money was on you.”

Maggie looked into his cell. He sat on his bed, shrouded in darkness. “So you remember me.” She spoke into the darkness”

“'Course I do.” Negan Replied “It's why I thought you were gonna win.”

“Good.” Maggie swallowed hard, emboldening her resolve. This was it, she was going to give this monster what he deserved. “Get on your knees.”

“You know, I remember you screamin' in that clearing.” Negan muled aloud, standing up and walking closer to the bars yet not completely out of the darkness “I remember how much I broke you breakin' open your husband's head like I did.”

“Glenn.” Maggie snapped “His name was Glenn.”

“So now what? You finally come for…” Negan paused for intentional dramatic effect “revenge?”

“Justice.”

“Damn.” Negan gasped “Thought you'd do this a hell of a lot sooner. It take you this long to work up your nerve?

“I was always gonna settle this,” Maggie retorted, her voice growing in volume “what you did to my husband. Get on your knees.”

“What I did to him?” Negan pressed “You mean how I cracked open his skull and popped out his goddamn eyeball? How I bashed his big, beautiful brains into the ground over and over while you and his little friends watched? Is that what you mean?

“Ah, I used to say that I didn't enjoy killin'.” Negan sighed with satisfaction “That was a lie. Your old man… Christ, I forgot his name again. But he was different. Killin' him the way I did, ooh, now, that was fun.”

Maggie pressed the key into the lock, the teeth rolling over the internal mechanisms echoing in the dark cell. Negan took to his knees, as had been requested of him.

“Get to it. Have your justice. Kill me. It was worth it.”

“Lemme see you in the light.” Maggie demanded.

“Come on.” Negan beckoned her on “Kill me.” She turned the key, the lock clicking loudly. “You not have it in you?” Negan teased “Don't you punk out like Rick.”

“Come into the light.” Maggie demanded again.

“Kill me. This is what you came here for!” Negan demanded, his tone becoming desperate “You kill me!”

“Move into the light.” Maggie spook through her teeth, peeved.

“Kill me.” Negan’s head went down and he began to cry. Maggie finally lost her patience, pulling the door open and tearing Negan from his cell and into what little light there was in the room.

“Please. Please.” Negan began to beg. He was disheveled and cowering on the floor in a useless pile. “Please kill me.

“Why?” Maggie asked

“You have to. Just do it.”

“You tell me why!” Maggie began to yell at him “Tell me! Why should I?!”

“So I can be with my family!” Negan cried out “So I can be with Lucille! And with my Y/N!” Negan sobbed silently.

“I should be dead.” He began to ramble “I have to be dead. And it's supposed to be you. It has to be you, because I can't do it. I can't do it. I've tried. I can't. I can't be like this. Please, please don't make me stay like this. It's... Settle it.” He was so distraught every other word he was gasping for air. “Settle me. Kill me. Please.”

“Get back in your cell.” Maggie ordered

“No.” Negan protested from the floor where he lay “No. No. No.” He sobbed “Why?”

“I came to kill Negan,” Maggie said “and you're already worse than dead. That settles it.” Negan hid his face as he sobbed “Go.” she ordered.

He knew better than to argue with her, especially how she pulled him out of the cell without breaking a sweat. “It wasn't supposed to be like this.” He protested weakly, “It wasn't supposed to be like this.”

With that Maggie locked the gate and left the cell, content that her husband’s murderer was suffering.

“What the hell was that?” One of the kingdom’s people said when they were far enough away, clearly talking to you. In their eyes you were the last saviour. They strode up behind you.

“I don’t know” You muttered, pulling one of the horses along the road

You were walking as fast as you can, basically dragging the horses and carriages and this man wanted to fight. “What do you mean you don’t know!”

“I don’t know!” You yelled back, continuing to move. “People do stupid shit when they’re scared!”

“They killed Fred!”

“We killed them!” You finally let go of the horse and turned around to face the man. “And you’ve been killing them for a long time!”

“You don’t know what they-”

“The war?” You cut him off “I know that there is a factory full of people who are starving, working their ass off to get you ethanol, and have no protection.” You were too caught in the moment to notice the wagon train had stopped moving and too angry to hear Jerry and Carol calling to you “Not fighters! Workers! People who didn’t get a chance to defend themselve in your precious fucking war and are paying the price for it!”

Horses trotted up to meet you halfway in the road. You recognised Maggie, Eugene, Tara, and Michone and a few others. Daryl rode up from the back of the group on his bike.

“What happened?” Maggie rode up to the group and asked Carol.

“Saviours jumped us. Ended up shooting each other.” Carol explained. “The gun fire could’ve attracted the herd so we left.”

“Where’s Rick?” Daryl asked.

“He’s not with you?” You shot back.

“What if he headed back to the camp?” Beatrice, a girl from Oceanside, pitched. You could feel the panic set in the group. Daryl disembarked from his bike.

“I know a shortcut. Come on!” He lead the way into the forest. You and a large group instantly took off on foot, following him closely. Within minutes you were back at the bridge to a horrifying sight.

Countless walkers were crossing the bridge. The herd was so thick no sunlight was travelling through and standing at the end of the bridge, with all those walkers heading right towards him, was Rick. Daryl already had his bow out and was picking off the walkers that got too close to his friend.

“What is he doing?!” Maggie yelled.

“He's hurt!” Michone cried. You noticed his clothes were soaked in blood

“That herd that went right through Hilltop.” Daryl gasped “He's trying to bring down the bridge.”

In the next instant Michone had her sword out and was running towards the herd. You called after her and ran after her.

“We turn them around. Fight 'em back.” Maggie followed close behind you

“Fire your guns.” Carol ordered “Try to divert them.

Michone called to Rick as you all ran to the herd, but a moment later the herd caught in flames. Michone stumbled back as the orange heat climbed above your heads. She stood there a moment, shocked into place. You looked through the flames and felt yourself thrown back into your army days.

Rubble and sand were all around you. The air was heavy with debris. It was you, five other servicemen and countless civilians trapped into a crumbling building while bullets flew outside. Children were crying and parents could do nothing to calm them. There was a moment of calm. A moment to get the group through a gap in the rock fall near the back of the building. You got them through while the others lay down ground fire, keeping the enemy at bay. You pulled yourself through the hole after the last of the civilians made it out and went about helping your fellow soldier. They were nearly clear when an explosion went off in the building and you were both sent backwards. You could feel the heat from the explosion on your face, but your ally could feel their life seeping out of their lost leg. He screamed out in complete agony.

The same way Michone screamed out. When you felt yourself come back you noticed Maggie and Carol were holding her back and you had fallen to the ground.

“Y/N!” Tara yelled to you, pulling the rest of you into the present “We have to go!” You nodded rapidly and pulled yourself to your feet. You all retreated back a ways so the herd wouldn’t come to you right away.

“I need to find him,” Michone sobbed. “I need to help him.”

The smoke was rising above them in thick clouds. The radio was going crazy with people who were seeing the smoke.

“What was that?”

“Was that the bridge?”

One of the people with you got on the radio. “Rick!” he called breathlessly “He blew it to stop the herd!”

Everyone around you was in shock and crying horribly. These people had followed Rick, and now they seemed lost. You were in no way a leader but-

“We can look downstream.” You spoke up. Pale and contorted faces looked back at you. “If he fell in the water he’ll be downstream… If he got hit by the blow back he’ll be on the road bu-”

“You heard her.” A man with long hair in a bun and a beard. His face was red but he was already tired of crying “Downstream.”

“I gotta-” Michon spoke, shaking as she got back to her feet. The man beckoned her. In the next moment a small group had run past to look downstream.

“I gotta go to Sanctuary” You announced to those left. Carol nodded, tears streaming down her face. “They gotta know what happened here.”

“Go,” she croaked out, “and bring them back to kingdom.” Beatrice immediately got angry at the notion but before she could speak Carol silenced her. “Without that bridge they’ll starve. Rick didn’t fight for that.” Carol looked back at you. “Go.”

~Tag List~

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