#high stakes candy land baby

[inkandarsenic]

I didn’t know I needed incredibly high stakes Candy Land in my life until I watched A Crown of Candy but now that I’ve finished it? I need more of it. I need more political intrigue high stakes d20 seasons in general, Brennan, @quiddie

[unfortunatelydead]

SO I am a really big Adventure Time fan and I made a decision for all the people in my life who wanted to watch the show but didn’t want to watch unnecessary episodes: to create a watch guide.

Surprisingly whenever I talked about it, a lot of people were interested. 

So, below the cut, my Adventure Time watch guide:

*Not a lot of episodes could, in my opinion, be cut. My reasons for not cutting an episode could be because it has a character that comes back later in the series, a certain character needed more screen time, or as simple a reason as I personally feel like it shouldn’t be cut. However, some episodes that I think just enhance the series or are particularly memorable, but aren’t necessary, are labelled as “not necessary but fun/cute”

Adventure time watch guide: The necessary episodes Season 1: 1.) slumber party panic, episode 1  2.) trouble in lumpy space 3.) prisoners of love 4.) tree trunks 5.) enchiridion 6.) the jiggler 7.) Ricardio 8.) business time (not necessary) 9.) my two favorite people 10.) boom boom mountain 11.) wizard school (not necessary but fun) 12.) Evicted 13.) city of thieves 14.) the witch’s garden 15.) what is life 16.) fear of the ocean 17.) when wedding bells thaw, ice wedding (not necessary) 18.) dungeon 19.) duke of nuts 20.) magic man, freak city 21.) Donny 22.) henchman aka marceline pt 2 23.) bmo cuteness, rainy day dream (not necessary) 24.)what have you done (not necessary) 25.) BILLY THE HERO 26.) gut grinder Season 2: 1.) it came from the nightosphere 2.)horse eyes 3.)nice king (not necessary) 4.) blood under the skin 5.)storytelling (not necessary) 6.)snail love (not necessary) 7.) power animal 8.)crystals have power 9.)royal tart toter (not necessary but fun) 10.) beautiful hair 11.) chamber of frozen blades 12.) her parents 13.) the pods 14.) a silent king 15.) the real you 16.) guardians of sunshine (not necessary) (different animation style episode) 17.) death in bloom 18.) Susan strong 19.) mystery train (not necessary) 20.) go with me 21.) belly of the beast, party bears 22.) ancient psychic tandem war elephant 23.) video makers (not necessary) 24.) mortal folly, the lich king 25.) mortal recoil 26.) heat signature (not necessary) Season 3: 1.) conquest of cuteness 2.) ghost gladiators (not necessary but fun) 3.) memory of a memory 4.) hitman 5.) baby pb, lemongrab 6.) the monster aka lumpy space princess (not necessary) 7.) still (not necessary) 8.) wizard battle 9.) fionna and cake pt 1 (not necessary but fun) 10.) what was missing 11.) Apple thief, the pig 12.) murder mystery dinner party 13.) zombies, again (not necessary) 14.) beautopia, return of Susan strong 15.) no one can hear you, THE DEER EPISODE 16.) jake vs memow 17.) snow golem and fire puppy 18.) cosmic owl croak dream 19.) holly jolly secrets 20.) holly jolly secrets pt 2 21.)marceline’s closet (not necessary) 22.) paper Pete (not necessary) 23.) another way, clown nurses (not necessary) 24.) ghost princess’ story 25.) dad’s dungeon 26.) incendium, intro of flame princess Season 4: 1.) hot to the touch, more flame princess 2.) five short graybles 3.) stuck in spiders web (not necessary) 4.) dream of love 5.) return to the nightosphere 6.) return to the nightosphere pt 2 7.) in your footsteps 8.) hug wolf (not necessary) 9.) princess monster wife (not necessary) 10.) goliad 11.) beyond this earthly realm, (not necessary) 12.) gotcha 13.) card wars 14.) princess cookies 15.) son of Mars 16.) burning low 17.) bmo noire 18.) king worm 19.) lady and peebles 20.) you made me 21.) who would win (not necessary) 22.) ignition point 23.) the hard easy, mega frog, (not necessary) 24.)reign of gunthers 25.) I REMEMBER YOU 26.) The Lich Season 5: 1.) Finn the human 2.) jake the dog 3.) five more short graybles 4.) up a tree (not necessary but fun) 5.) All the little people (not necessary) 6.) jake the dad 7.) davey (not necessary) 8.) mystery dungeon (not necessary) 9.) all your fault 10.) little dude (not necessary) 11.) bad little boy (Fionna and cake pt 2) (not necessary but fun) 12.) vault of bones 13.) the great bird man 14.) Simon and Marcy 15.) a glitch is a glitch (not necessary but fun) (different animation style episode) 16.) Puhoy <3 17.) BMO Lost 18.) princess potluck 19.) James Baxter 20.) shhh! (Not necessary) 21.) the suitor 22.) party’s over (not necessary) 23.) one last job (jake jr’s episode?) 24.) another more five short graybles 25.) candy streets 26.) wizards only, fools 27.) jake suit 28.) be more 29.) sky witch 30.) frost and fire 31.) too old 32.) earth and water 33.) time sandwich (not necessary but fun) 34.) THE VAULT 35.) love games 36.) dungeon train 37.) box prince 38.) red starved 39.) we fixed a truck (not necessary) 40.) play date 41.) the pit 42.) James 43.) root beer guy 44.) Apple wedding 45.) blade of grass 46.) rattleballs 47.) the red throne 48.) Betty 49.) bad timing (not necessary) 50.) lemon hope part 1 51.) lemonhope part 2 52.) Billy’s bucket list Season 6: 1.) wake up 2.) escape from the citadel 3.) James 2 4.) the tower 5.) sad face (not necessary) 6.) breezy 7.) food chain (not necessary but fun) (different animation style episode) 8.) furniture and meat 9.) the prince who wanted everything (fionna and cake pt 3) (not necessary but fun) 10.) something big 11.) little brother (not necessary) 12.) ocarina (Kim Kil Whan’s episode) 13.) crabapples (not necessary but fun) 14.) princess day 15.) nemesis 16.) Joshua and Margaret 17.) ghost fly (not necessary) 18.) everything’s jake (not necessary) 19.) is that you 20.) jake the brick (not necessary but fun) 21.) dentist 22.) the cooler 23.) the pajama war 24.) evergreen 25.) astral plane 26.) gold stars 27.) the visitor 28.) the mountain 29.) dark purple 30.) diary (tv’s episode) 31.) walnuts and rain (not necessary but fun) 32.) friends forever (not necessary) 33.) jermaine 34.) chips and ice cream (not necessary) 35.) graybles 1000+ 36.) hoots 37.) water park prank (not necessary) (different animation style episode) 38.) you forgot your floaties 39.) be sweet 40.) orgalorg 41.) on the lam 42.) hot digging dam 43.) the comet Season 7: 1.) Bonnie and Neddy 2.) varmints 3.) cherry cream soda 4.) mama said 5.) football 6.) STAKES, part 1 7.) STAKES, part 2 8.) STAKES, part 3 9.) STAKES, part 4 10.) STAKES, part 5 11.) STAKES, part 6 12.) STAKES, part 7 13.) STAKES, part 8 14.) The more you moe 15.) summer showers (viola’s episode) 16.) angel face 17.) president porpoise is missing (not necessary) 18.) blank eyed girl (not necessary but fun) 19.) bad jubies (not necessary) (different animation style episode) 20.) kings ransom 21.) scamps (not necessary) 22.) crossover 23.) the hall of egress 24.) flute spell 25.)the thin yellow line (not necessary but fun) Season 8: 1.) broke his crown 2.) don’t look (not necessary but fun) 3.) beyond the grotto (not necessary but fun) (different animation style episode) 4.) lady rainicorn of the crystal dimension 5.) I am a sword 6.) bun bun 7.) normal man 8.) elemental 9.) five short tables (fionna and cake pt 4) (not necessary but fun) 10.) the music hole 11.) daddy-daughter card wars (Charlie’s episode) 12.) pre boot 13.) reboot 14.) two swords 15.) do no harm 16.) wheels (bronwyn’s episode) 17.) high strangeness 18.) horse and ball 19.) jelly beans have power 20.) Islands pt 1 21.) Islands pt 2 22.) Islands pt 3 23.) Islands pt 4 24.) Islands pt 5 25.) Islands pt 6 26.) Islands pt 7 27.) Islands pt 8 Season 9: 1.) orb 2.) elements pt 1 3.) elements pt 2 4.) elements pt 3 5.) elements pt 4 6.) elements pt 5 7.) elements pt 6 8.) elements pt 7 9.) elements pt 8 10.) abstract 11.) ketchup (different animation style episode) 12.) fionna and cake and fionna (not necessary but fun) (fionna and cake pt 5) 13.) whispers 14.) three buckets Season 10: 1.) the Wild hunt 2.) always bmo closing 3.) son of rap bear 4.) bonnibel bubblegum 5.) seventeen 6.) ring of fire 7.) Marcy and hunson 8.) the first investigation 9.) blenanas (for some reason this episode is separate on Hulu?) (not necessary) 10.) jake the starchild (out of order on Hulu, this one comes before temple of Mars) 11.) temple of Mars (out of order on Hulu, watch this one after jake the starchild) 12.) gumbaldia 13.) Come along with me Adventure Time: Distant Lands- 1.) BMO 2.) Obsidian 3.) Together Again (not yet released) 4.) Wizard City (not yet released)

[youngsamanda]

Three years later I’m back at it again, another guide to horror/halloween by a tired twenty year old self proclaimed Scooby Doo stan who loves horror and all things halloween ! This was originally inspired by a now deleted post but please enjoy the updated list and spooky season !

Thriller

Panic Room

Escape Room

Zodiac

Gone Girl

Silence of The Lambs

The Green Room

Under the Skin

In the Tall Grass

A Cure for Wellness

It Comes at Night

The Ward

Ex Machina

Fear

Funny Games

Slowburn and Unconventional

The Lighthouse

The Shining

Get Out

The Invitation

Platform

It Follows

Goodnight Mommy

Upgrade

The Perfection

The Visit

Cults 

Midsommar

The Wickerman

Mandy

Hereditary

Children of the Corn

The Ritual

The Lodge

Apostle

Doctor Sleep

Rosemary’s Baby (i would rec pirating the director is a bad person so keep that in mind)

Hell is a Teenage Girl

The Loved Ones

Hard Candy

The Neon Demon

The Witch

Ginger Snaps

Jennifer’s Body

All Cheerleaders Die

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

The Craft

Carrie

Raw

The Crush (1993)

Female Led Horror

Evil Dead (2013)

The Descent

Alien and Aliens

The Love Witch

Teeth

Revenge

Hush (2016)

Ready or Not

American Mary

Annihilation 

Cam (2019)

Orphan

Climax (2018)

Triangle

Alice Sweet Alice

The Nightingale

The Babysitter

Suspiria (1977 + 2018)

Horror Comedy

Happy Death Day

What We Do In the Shadows

Zombieland

Zombieland 2

Life After Beth

Army of Darkness

Cabin In The Woods

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare 

Creature Feature

The Thing (1982)

Anaconda (1997)

The Shallows

Jaws

Cujo

Tremors

A Quiet Place

Cloverfield

10 Cloverfield Lane

Jeeper Creepers (pirate or purchase this one second hand if you can, the director is a really bad person)

American Werewolf In London

The Howling

Dog Soldiers

Late Phases

It Chapter One and Two (2017 and 2019)

Arachnophobia 

Crawl (2019)

From Dusk Till Dawn

The Faculty 

Underwater

Black Water

The Birds

The Host (2006)

Scary Story to Tell in The Dark

The Cave (2006)

Zombies and Vampires

Resident Evil (most of the series is terrible but the first one is fun)

Train to Busan

28 Days Later

28 Weeks Later

Cargo

Mayhem (2017)

Little Monsters

Mulberry Street

Rec (2007) 

Blood Quantum

Overlord

Night of the Living Dead

Let the Right One In

30 Days of Night

The Lost Boys

Dracula (1992)

Fright Night

Stake Land

Underworld (kind of bad, kind of amazing at least the first two movies)

Byzantine

Slashers 

Friday the 13th (2009)

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

Black Christmas (1974)

Halloween (1978)

Halloween (2018)

Halloween H2O (1998)

Candyman

Scream Series (1996-2011)

Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

I Know What You Did Last Summer

Sleepaway Camp

Us (2019)

The Crazies (2010)

Child’s Play

Valentine 

You’re Next

The Belko Experiment 

Trick R Treat (anthology, also kind of a creature feature)

Fucked Up Families (More Slashers)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) 

Leatherface

Tourist Trap

The Hills Have Eyes (1977 + 2007)

The Hills Run Red

Friday the 13th Part One and Two

Wrong Turn (one and two are the most decent in the series)

Relic

House of 1000 Corpses

The Strangers

The Strangers: Prey At Night

Psychological 

Misery

Psycho

Frozen (2010)

Buried 

Intruders

Wolf Creek

Mother!

Cube 

Don’t Breathe

Eden Lake

Come to Daddy

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Flatliners (1990)

Black Swan (2010)

A Tale of Two Sisters (2003)

The Invisible Man (2020)

Found Footage

Creep

The Blair Witch Project

REC 1 and 2

Quarantine (2008)

Grave Encounters

Unfriended

V/H/S 1 and 2

Host

As Above So Below

Hell House LLC

The Houses October Built

Gore Fest

Wrong Turn / The Hills Have Eyes / Texas Chainsaw (double dip into this)

High Tension

Hellraiser

Cabin Fever

The Collector

The Collection

Re-Animator

Hostel

The Babadook

Saw (entire series)

Final Destination (entire series)

Evil Dead (1981)

Would You Rather

The Fly (body horror)

Contracted (body horror)

The Ruins (body horror)

Demons and Ghosts

Sinister

The Exorcist

The Possession

The Last Shift

Dead Silence

Bones

The Conjuring

The Conjuring 2

Thirteen Ghosts (2001)

The Ring 

The Grudge

Paranormal Activity

Oculus 

Poltergeist 

Ghost Ship

Devil (2010)

Ouija 2

The Others

Session 9

Under the Shadow

The Woman in Black

Insidious (Series)

Non-Scary Friendly Halloween Flicks

Scooby Doo (2002)

Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed

Scooby Doo on Zombie Island

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

Twilight (2008)

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

Coraline 

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1994)

The Corpse Bride 

Beetlejuice 

Gremlins

Labyrinth 

Hocus Pocus

Monster House

ParaNorman

Little Shop of Horrors

Halloweentown

Halloweentown 2

Twitches

Goosebumps (2015)

Goosebumps (television show)

Horror Noire (this is a documentary about the role of black people in horror on shudder highly rec it)

[bitofthisandthat]

@briilliance​​ said: 💔 - Specifically about Gladstone and Daisy

☆ Headcanon Prompts ☆  ( Love & Romance )

💔 Has your muse ever been heartbroken? If so, explain what happened.

Gladstone first went after Daisy for the usual selfish reasons: she was great arm candy, and it was yet another way to drive Donald crazy. ( Be it bragging rights about yet another awesome girlfriend he landed, or a way to make himself feel better about Don being the favored nephew. ) But as he got to know Daisy, he realized she was more than just ‘a fling,’ and she was everything he loved in a woman; tough, spirited, and stubborn. He also got sucked into how she would bend over backwards to baby him and take care of him, even if his Luck could handle all that. He started to really fall for her, but he still kept himself at arms’ length because he was never sure if she wasn’t serious about him either. And after years of going through girls like kleenix not just because he was all about freedom and playing the field, but also because of his intense fear of the goose’s way of bonding for life. He is TERRIFIED of bonding then getting ditched, but nevertheless, he found himself getting attached to her.

All of this he COULD have told her any time, but his own stubborn pride kept him from truly opening up to her beyond superficial fun and games, and ironically THAT is what made Daisy dump him. Glad can be 10000% charming and spoil you rotten and make you feel like a goddess, but he’s so standoffish about his own inner-workings, fears, feelings, etc. that he LOST OUT. Annnnnnnnd Daisy was one of the few women in his life to dump HIM first! He usually is the dumper, not the dumpee, so he was shook to his core for awhile. He holed away in his posh place, and pulled his typical moping, morose act: shades drawn, classical/operatic requiems playing loudly on his stereo system, a constant tumbler of gin or vodka with ice....just sitting around alone feeling sorry for himself. And not taking calls, so no one would witness the “great player Gladstone” weakened over a broken relationship.

After a good stint of solitude, a switch goes off in him, and he dives into his jet-set lifestyle without another thought; and even if thoughts of her is still playing in the back of his mind, he buries himself in the gaming circuit and cheap floozies on a high-stakes gambling tour in the far east...His last stop being in Macaw, lured in with lies by a certain Toad Liu Hai. 

[writerpeach]

Impatience

Red Velvet Wendy

3738 words

Categories: male reader, smut, anal

NSFW 18+

It was Wendy and your first anniversary as a couple. Days and weeks and months flew by and felt like mere seconds, suddenly a year had already passed.

You both decided the perfect place to celebrate, the ice cream shop where you had your first date. It was a bit simple, but it was a special place, and it was in the middle of a scorching hot summer afternoon. Nothing would be better. 

Ice cream was the first thing you and Wendy shared together. Three scoops - chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. Two spoons. It was simple as it was delicious. The start of something wonderful with Wendy, a girl as sweet and innocent as the sweet tasty treat you were both indulging in. 

Wendy’s innocent image was merely an act. Not even a month went by before the the first time you slept together. Wendy as subtle as a car wreck about it, dropping hints and sudden bathroom pictures of poses and different positions she wanted to be taken in. It was hot, it was sweaty, it was nothing short of magical. Wendy was loud as she was pretty. You went three rounds. The second time an hour later, and again in the morning. 

You learned a lot of things about Wendy over the course of a year. Her innocence stripped away as her kinkier side was slowly revealed to you. The sweet girl that you’d been dating for over a year slowly peeled off her layers, each layer revealing something more filthier, something more depraved than you were ever expecting, but welcoming it all. 

The two of you stared at the menu with dozens of choices, but you eventually defaulted to your usual. Mint chocolate chip with peanut butter cups inside. Wendy hated it, and always teased you about having a child’s palette. She wasn’t that far off. 

Wendy opted for something different each time, this time choosing cotton candy.

“I don’t see how you like that,” Wendy says, clearly teasing tiy. 

“Like what?” 

“Mint chocolate,” she says. 

“It’s good. It’s my favorite.” 

“It tastes like toothpaste,” Wendy huffs. 

“I would love to know what kind of toothpaste you’re using that has chocolate in it. “

Wendy sticks her tongue out, seemingly ending your playful argument.

You take another spoonful of delicious ice cream, watching as Wendy cutely licked her ice cream cone. 

“How’s yours?” you asked.

“Yummy. Better than yours,” she says. 

As you continued to watch her, Wendy realized you were doing so, and suddenly decided to make a show out of it. She suddenly switched to a more, seductive approach, taking longer licks, using her tongue to lick around the whole surface of her ice cream, mimicking the way she would lick your cock. 

“Wendy.” 

“What?” She asked, trying her best to play innocent.

“Wendy. We’re in public.” 

“And I’m just eating ice cream. I’m allowed to eat ice cream in public aren’t I?” She grinned. Subtlety was not one of her strong suits. 

In a final display she took a big chunk of ice cream and stuck her tongue out, using the tip of her tongue to play with it in her mouth. 

She knew too damn well how to rile you up. Wendy stopped playing with it, and letting it drip off her tongue, landing perfectly inside her cleavage, watching as your eyes followed every moment. 

“Oh, oops. I seemed to have made a mess on myself.” 

“I can see that. You should eat more carefully.” 

“I’ll be right back, I’ll go clean myself up in the restroom.” 

“You do that.” 

No less than a few minutes went by before your phone buzzed. It was Wendy. Curious to what possible reason she needed to text you from the bathroom, you read the message displayed on your screen. 

Four words, absolutely beaming with filth. 

Come fuck my ass. 

This fucking girl. When she was in one of her moods, there was no snapping her out of it. 

You make your way down to the isolated corner where the bathroom was, both leaving your ice cream half-eaten. As you knocked on the door, Wendy opens it with the biggest grin on her face. 

“Here, really?” 

“Of course!”

“We’re going to get in trouble. We both know how loud you are.” 

“I’ll be quiet. I promise.” 

She wouldn’t. Wendy didn’t know the meaning of quiet. It would be fine. Maybe. The ice cream shop was so busy that maybe the crowd noise would drown them out. Maybe you could quiet Wendy. Just maybe.

You let out an exasperated gasp. 

“Did you bring lube?” 

“Yes, it’s always with me. It’s in front pocket of my purse, daddy.” 

Daddy. Wendy loved to throw that word around, especially in public. It was only the first few months of your relationship that you discovered her huge daddy kink into your relationship. It came out during one of your many moments of intimacy. It wasn’t something you thought you were into, but something about the way the word just rolled off Wendy’s tongue unleashed something in you. 

You lock the door, double checking to make sure it was secured. The bathroom was small, just a toilet and a sink on a nice looking black counter. Wendy smiles at you, and you don’t waste anytime to bend her over the sink, hiking her black leather skirt up enough until it was high enough above her waist. 

Wendy’s ass was impeccable. The perfect size, firm and draped in a small pink thong that barely covers her soft pale cheeks. You pulled on the thin fabric, pulling it up just a bit between her cheeks. She groaned a bit as the bunched in between her cheeks. 

“You wanna be fucked this bad Wendy? You want my cock in your ass so bad that you can’t wait?”

“Yes! Fuck me daddy,” Wendy says as she looks back. 

“Such a needy girl aren’t we,” you said as your caressed her soft pale cheeks, giving one a hard smack as it rippled. 

You moved her thong to the side, granting access to both of her holes. Her pussy was glistening already, but you were only interested in the pink puckered hole just above, ready to be taken, ready to be used, ready to be fucked. 

“I love your ass Wendy,” you tell her as you wettened the fingertip of your middle finger, slowly teasing her by rubbing slow circles and grazing the rim of her hole. 

“Ugh,” Wendy cries.

You let the tip of your finger slip inside for just a second, testing her reactions, while feeling her tightness before pulling it right back out. 

Wendy whines, “Daddy...please put it in..”

Her pleas were ignored as you continue to rim her hole with your finger, her whines becoming the encouragement to continue teasing her. Every few circles you slipped a finger inside a little deeper, leaving it there for a little longer until it was completely in Wendy, resting inside as she tightens around it. 

Wendy was clearly desperate for friction, struggling to engage her hips, trying to grind against against anything. The sounds of her frustrations were so cute that you can’t help but laugh. 

“Are you going to fuck yourself with my fingers, baby?” you asked, as Wendy started to push herself against you. You let her grind against you before you decided to help her out. A second finger joins, and in tandem you rock them back and forth slowly inside her, opening her hole up just a bit. 

“Mmm...more...more daddy, please...it feels good,” she says, dropping her head down. 

You bring them in slowly, and move them out, and before you can form a rhythm you bring them out completely, leaving her utterly empty. 

Wendy whines at your fingers leaving her body, but you silenced her protest by slipping your fingers into her mouth, making her taste herself. She slurps on them lewdly, completely loving it, sucking your fingers the same way she sucked your cock. 

You released them from her mouth, smiling at how completely wet in spit they were already. 

As much as you loved to make Wendy squirm, you had your fill of teasing her. You were ready to quickly raise the stakes, and drop to your knees, your face a few mere inches from the creamy white ass in display. Her ass all yours to take, to taste, to fuck, to absolutely devour.

You spread her legs a bit, giving you easier access as you lick up and down between the warm cheeks of her ass. Wendy knew what was next, and you wanted to make her hungry with anticipation. You waited just a bit, kneading her soft cheeks with your hands.

Then you spread Wendy’s plump cheeks wide, and you begin to eat her ass. 

She squeals at just the slightest touch of your tongue pressed against her inviting hole, just deep enough to hit her nerves.

“You said you’d be quiet.” 

“Sorry...daddy,” Wendy says, almost sarcastic. Her grin clearly visible in the bathroom mirror. 

“It just...felt so good. I’ll-I’ll try to be quieter.” 

“You better,” you tell her as you give her ass a quick smack. The sound echoes around the bathroom as her flesh jiggles deliciously again. 

For the second time you touch your tongue firmly to her clenched hole, keeping her cheeks open for you while you flicked up and down. Each long lick sent shocks down Wendy’s body as you ate her ass so enthusiastically, giving her pleasure in every inch of her body, her toes curling with every moan that involuntarily escapes. 

Between licks you looked down at her crotch, her other hole swiftly saturated with wetness. She completely loved when you ate her ass. It was another one of her kinks that completely threw you by surprise. Such a sweet innocent girl loved loved every second that your tongue was in her ass. 

“Fuck, daddy, fuck that feels good. I love when you eat my ass, daddy!”

Within the first few minutes of tasting Wendy she had betrayed her word already. It was to be expected though, every public romp session the two of you had always had a heightened risk due to Wendy unable to control her volume.

You alternated between long upward flicks and circles, eating Wendy’s ass with an insatiable hunger as you felt every curve of her asshole, hitting every delicate sensitive nerve as your tongue buries itself deep inside. 

Wendy was losing it already. Her hands tightly gripping the porcelain sink as your tongue stimulated the tight clenched ring of her ass, exploring her deeply. She really was trying hard not to moan, but found it impossible to control her as you mercilessly tongue her tight hole. 

Her moans only continued as you brushed her sensitive asshole with your tongue, diving deep in, swirling and pressing, exploring it, tasting it, feasting on it. You really buried your tongue deep inside, eating her ass out nonstop as your hands kept her plump cheeks spread. Her squirming body tried to hold on, tried to calm herself until you abruptly left her ass once again, leaving her empty. 

Wendy looked so pretty bent over, her warm hole still glistening with spit. You had enough of an appetizer, and you were looking to dive into the main course.    

At this moment you were rock hard, your bulge prodding through your pants, needing to escape. 

Wendy’s bent over body was dying to be fucked, and you were more than wiling to satisfy her needs. Within a flash you made quick work, yanking pants and boxers to the ground to free your cock struggling to escape.

You grabbed the small bottle of lube from the front pocket of Wendy’s purse from on top the counter. It was half full already from being used previously. 

Once again you slide two fingers into her tight hole, this time coated in slick liquid, helping spread it inside the clenched walls of her ass. You did the same to your erect cock, until both were ready and prepped. 

You line your cock with her asshole, pressing your slick cock against the tight rim of her asshole.

“Ready, baby?”

“I’m always ready, put it in me. Put it in my ass, daddy.” 

The work you did earlier with your fingers and tongue helped open her ass up nicely for you. With one fluid movement you were able move your body forward and easily slide your stiff cock and penetrate Wendy’s tight welcoming asshole, watching as the tip of your cock disappears inside her. 

Wendy gasps at the feeling of her back entrance being breached, louder than you both expected. She loved the familiar sensation as she closed her eyes as she always did during initial penetration. She always loved the way your cock felt the first time inside one of her most sensitive areas. 

Her breath deepened as more of your cock entered her, sliding more and more of yourself into her tight pretty ass until you filled her with every single inch of your cock. You rest it inside her for a bit, letting her adjust and relax her muscles as much as possible before you continued. 

“Fuck, daddy, you feel so good inside me. Now fuck me, fuck my ass.” 

You allow your self a few moments to admire Wendy’s bent over body, her beautiful ass stuffed with the entirety of your cock. You sensed her neediness already and gently rocked your hips back, leaving only the tip of your cock embedded inside her before driving your body back, watching your cock disappear back into her tight hole. 

“Shit...that feels good, daddy.” 

Every time you entered her body she moaned, louder than you wanted, but you were preoccupied with how good she made your dick feel, how tight and warm she was as you start to thrust into her ass. 

“How’s my ass feel daddy?”

“Fucking amazing. You’re so tight, baby.” 

You settled into a nice rhythm, opening her ass up more with every thrust. Like usual, it was never enough for Wendy. 

“Harder, daddy.” 

You did as she requested, as your cock exited her body, you slammed back inside her. 

“Harder, daddy, please, fuck me harder.” 

Wendy clings to the bathroom sink as you seize control of her hips and pull her body towards you, your hard cock plunging deep into her ass.

“Yes daddy! Just like that, fuck my ass, don’t stop!” 

Wendy was getting much louder than you were comfortable with, at this rate someone would barge in at any moment. 

She was losing her mind from the pleasure at this point, nothing you said mattered to her anymore. You had to take the situation into your own hands. As you pumped into her tight plump ass, you grabbed the thong that was still on her body, ripping it off from one side and stuffing it in her mouth to silence her moans finally.

Wendy didn't care one bit, and it gave you the opportunity to pound her ass freely without worrying about the risk of getting caught. 

You do just that, drilling her ass as roughly and deep as you can, your swollen balls smacking against the silky wet flesh of her pussy as you filled her deep as you possibly can.

With your hands squeezing her hips, purposely hard enough to leave marks as you fucked Wendy's tight ass, leaving her stretched even more with every full thrust.

The sounds of skin crashing against skin were the only audible sounds now, Wendy's muffled moans were of no use. 

Your hard cock continues to ram her tight little asshole with such force, such speed that every thrust into her tight opening brought endless pleasure, and soon you felt the tingles of an orgasm. You wanted to delay it, at least for for just a bit. 

Rather reluctantly you slowly withdraw your cock from her ass, the tight walls of her stretched hole mercifully letting go of the vice grip that held your cock deep inside until Wendy until she was frustratingly empty. 

You look down proudly at her freshly fucked asshole, now perfect gaped open by your cock, and you can't help but rim her hole one more time before pulling her body up and spinning her around to face you. 

Wendy's lust-glazed eyes meet yours, and she impatiently awaits your next move. 

“Suck my cock, Wendy. ” 

“Yes, daddy,” she says as she obediently gets on her knees. She wraps her soft red lips around your wet hard shaft that was just just buried inside her ass, and she starts to suck your cock. 

You let out a deep breath as Wendy works magic on your shaft, puckered lips sliding up and down the entire length of your cock. She braced herself by holding onto your thighs as she bobbed her head up and down between, sloppily and hungrily sucking your dick. In no time you felt her lips against the base of your cock

“Does that feel good, daddy? Do you like when I suck your cock?” 

“Feels so fucking good. Do you like tasting yourself, baby?” 

“I love it.” 

You run your hand through her soft dark locks, helping guide her blowjob, making sure she took your cock as deep as she could. She looked so beautiful as she sloppily sucked your cock. 

Wendy always gave the upmost effort in sucking your cock, using her tongue to feel around the underside of your already slick shaft. The way she slurped your cock and bobbed her pretty head up and down, she drove you closer than you wanted to be. You helped her stand up as she stroked your stuff cock, satiated with drool. 

“Are you going to cum, daddy?”

“Almost. Now turn around so I can cum in you.” 

You briefly considered letting it all out on her pretty face. It wouldn’t be the first time to give her a facial in public before, the first time was her request. Her warm tight ass was so inviting though, so utterly impossible to resist that you just needed to empty yourself inside it. 

Wendy resumed her position, bending over for you deep as you filled her with cock again. You easily slid back into her tight warm hole, this time grabbing a fistful of her short bob as you wrecked her ass. She somehow tightened even tighter around your dick, demonstrating how much she absolutely loved her hair being pulled. One of her many kinks that was revealed to you.

Wendy’s loud moans be damned, you were going to fuck Wendy’s ass as hard as you could and you no longer cared how loud she was. You weren’t going to last much longer anyways. With one hand on her hip and one pulling her hair towards you, you fucked Wendy with every last bit of energy you had left. 

“Just like that daddy, fuck my ass just like that! I’m yours daddy, i’m yours to use and fuck!” 

 You quickly notice that Wendy was staring dead ahead into the mirror, enthralled with the utter pounding you were doing to her tight ass.

“You like that, baby? You like watching me fuck your tight little ass?”

“Yes daddy! Keep fucking me, keep fucking my pretty little ass until you cum in it!”  

“With pleasure.” 

You pulled her hair back harder towards you as you drilled her perfect ass, every stroke inside her filled her all the way, fucking her roughly as you both anticipated the moment of release. 

It wasn’t long now, and you did your best to savor every last moment, every thrust as deep as could be in her tight clenched hole, using the last bit of energy you had left to pound Wendy’s ass. 

“God, I’m gonna fucking cum.” 

“Cum inside my ass, please. Fill me, daddy.” 

You watched the lust take over Wendy as you stuffed her ass with your cock as deep as it would go, squeezing her hips tight to let you know her ass was yours as you braced yourself for the last few pleasurable seconds before your climax took control of your body. 

You let out a series of deep breaths as you violently erupt into Wendy’s tight asshole, emptying hot cum deep inside as you can. She moaned loudly as you flooded her ass with thick semen, every creamy spurt you sent inside caused you to jerk as you emptied every last drop inside her delicious plump ass. 

“Thank you daddy...for fucking my ass...and for filling me with so much cum.” 

You find yourself unable to speak, much less able to move as the shockwaves of your intense orgasm continue to fire off. 

As you slowly start to recover you slowly withdraw your sensitive cock from Wendy’s fucked asshole an inch at a time until she is completely empty, watching as your thick creamy load escapes and stains her luscious thighs before finding its way down to the floor. 

Wendy grabs the remnants of her ripped panties on top the bathroom sink, using them to clean up the mess you left inside her before tossing it in the garbage.

“Guess I don’t need these anymore,” Wendy says.

“Guess you don’t. I like it better when you don’t wear them anyways. “

You both make an attempt at catching your breath, before Wendy pulls her skirt back down and takes a quick peek in the mirror, trying her best to be presentable. You let her walk out first, staying a few steps behind. 

The two of you sit back down as if nothing had happened, as if you didn’t just ruin Wendy’s ass in the bathroom. You ignored eye contact with anyone you walked by. When you both sat back both of your servings of ice cream had melted. 

Wendy can’t take her eyes off you, trying to use her fingers to brush her disheveled hair, with the biggest smirk on her pretty face as she drinks what was left of her ice cream. 

"Happy anniversary, daddy."

[kittenshift-17]

👀

“What are you doing here?” a voice demanded a short while later when he was still pacing across the cemetery, thinking he should’ve just gone to the pub.

Spike stopped dead in his tracks at the voice. Shit. The Slayer. Tingles raced down his spine and that sense of dread that being near a Slayer inspired in all demons filled him.

“Here, piss off, Slayer,” Spike growled. “Can’t a bloke just eat some dinner in peace.”

“You eat people… so… no!” Buffy said. “Not on my watch.”

Spike growled at her, seeing she was clutching a stake.

“Take-out food,” he showed her, lifting the bag he clutched.

“Liebe Paketes?” Buffy asked, her expression changing from angry and fierce to excited.

“Err… yeah,” Spike frowned at her.

“Good choice,” she praised, lowering the stake and tucking it into the waistband of her short skirt before crossing the distance between them. “They’re delicious. You’re sharing.”

“Am not,” Spike protested, yanking the bag out of her reach when she tried to grab it.

“C’mon, Spike,” Buffy rolled her eyes. “You want to sit around and eat alone in a dark cemetery.”

“Vampire, pet,” he reminded her. “Kind of what I do.”

“Not tonight,” she argued, pouncing at him and colliding with his chest before she lunged to grab the bag when he lowered his arms in surprise, planning to shove her away.

She snatched the bag of take-out from him and danced away with it.

“Oi!” Spike protested.

“Look, I worked up an appetite slaying a few fledges back there,” Buffy said. “You can share your dinner and tell me what you’re doing here, or I can dust you and eat them all myself. Your choice.”

“As if you could dust me?” Spike scoffed. “You and me, pet. Evenly matched, and you know it.”

“Nope,” she shook her head. “I’m better.”

“Bollocks, you are!” Spike replied.

“I am,” Buffy told him, cock-sure.

She opened the bags of take-out, ripping into the box of parcels he’d bought and helping herself to two of them.

“Prove it,” Spike growled, lunging at her in return and snatching the food back from her.

“Eating,” she said, taking a big bite. “After. We’ll fight. It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, because you’re scared to die,” Spike told her, snatching one of the parcels for himself and biting into it, glaring at her.

“Pfft! Not when I’m fighting you, I’m not,” she taunted, before sitting down on one of the long concrete coffin-markers and turning to lean against the headstone, snatching the bag of take-out from him again and putting it in her lap.

“Keep telling yourself that, Slayer,” Spike told her, sitting down on the grave-marker as well. “Bloody hell, these are tasty.”

“Right?” Buffy asked, digging into the bag for more and handing him some, too. “I’m pretty sure there’s something in them making them addictive. And a pretty small part of me is concerned that they’re laced with something to send people’s libido’s haywire, but they’re really good.”

“What was that about libido?” Spike said, pausing in the process of stuffing a fifth parcel into him mouth.

“Huh?” Buffy grunted, looking over at him, her cheeks comically chipmunked because she’d stuffed a parcel in each one. “Oh. I have a theory that eating them might be making people act whacky. Like, the Mayor and the Police Chief are hooking up and supposedly in love. And my Mom was saying that Giles was a lovely lay. And I’m pretty sure I caught Willow perving on Faith earlier today. But I could just be being paranoid because these things are so addictive. There was a candy incident, and it’s left me edgy.”

“Candy incident?” Spike prompted.

“A sorcerer Giles used to be friends with put something in these candy bars and distributed them as boxes of Candy to support the High School band. All the adults who ate it reverted to their rebellious teenage selves. It was really bad. My Mum slept with Giles. So gross.”

“What’s that got to do with libido?” Spike wanted to know, reaching for more food like he’d been possessed.

“Well, it made me paranoid. These are so good, you know? And everyone likes them. And weird things have been happening. Like the Mayor and the Police Chief. And Mom and Giles. And Willow perving on Faith.”

“If your Mom and Giles previously shagged, it’s not that weird,” Spike pointed out. “And there’s been tension between the Mayor and the Chief for years, according to Trick. And I’d put good money on Red being into the ladies. Nothing weird about any of that.”

“You think?” Buffy frowned, looking puzzled. “Maybe I am just being paranoid. Mom said I was a conspiracy theorist.”

“Among other, less pleasant things,” Spike told her snidely.

“Oh, eat me, Spike,” Buffy growled.

He went into game-face and lunged closer, his shoulder pressing to hers and trapping her against the headstone.

“Anytime, pet,” he said, leaning close enough to scrape his fangs over the exposed skin of her neck.

“Hey!” Buffy said, yanking her stake from her waistband and threatening him with it.

Spike growled at her.

“Ready for that fight, Slayer?” he asked.

“Still eating,” she said, shoving him away from her.

“You can be dessert,” he said, reaching into her lap for more Liebe Pakete.

“In your dreams, Spike,” Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Most of them, yeah,” he agreed, smirking.

“Gross,” she said, turning to look at him.

“Not really,” Spike said, leaning over and dragging a finger against the droplet of blood that had appeared on her neck where he’d scraped her with his fangs. He brought it to his mouth and groaned at the taste. “Mmm. Thought so. Delicious.”

“Why are you still in Sunnydale?” Buffy asked, shaking her head and eating more of the parcels as though he hadn’t just told her she was delicious. “I thought your plan was to find Dru, tie her up, and torture her until she liked you again.”

“Couldn’t find her,” Spike shrugged his shoulders. “Heard she’d come back here, looking for me.”

“Did she?” Buffy asked. “If I find her, I’m dusting her.”

“Not if I kill you first, pet,” Spike said.

“You’ll be dust before the sun rises,” Buffy said, sighing when she reached into the bag for more Liebe Pakete, and found it was empty. “And the food is gone.”

“Then we fight,” Spike smirked, rising to his feet.

“Digest first,” Buffy complained.

“Can’t put it off forever, love,” Spike said, looking amused, still in game-face.

“Fine,” she sighed, also getting to her feet. “But when you’re a big pile of dust, I reserve the right to hurl on the ashes.”

“Nice imagery, Slayer,” Spike rolled his eyes, pacing a few steps away and rolling his shoulders, gearing up to fight her.

“Thanks for dinner,” Buffy offered, taking him off guard with her politeness when he turned.

She flew at him immediately, launching into the air and landing a solid punch on his jaw that sent him reeling back. Spike growled furiously, and then it was on. And bloody hell, it was glorious. He’d watched her fight enough times to see a few of her moves coming well before she started them, and he took pleasure in countering every single one, drawing snarls of frustration from her when she couldn’t incapacitate him enough to stake him.

“That all you got, baby?” Spike asked when she roundhouse kicked him in the head and knocked him into a gravestone.

“You’re going to die,” Buffy told him, her anger evident in those flashing green eyes.

“Already did,” Spike sneered, using the headstone for the right leverage to launch himself into the air and land a hard punch on her jaw in return, knocking her backward.

She lost her balance, toppling backward to land heavily on the raised concrete slab marking a coffin, her stake skittering out of her grip as she tried to right herself. Spike was on her in a flash. Diving between her legs when she tried to kick him, his hands finding her wrists and pinning her  to the slab. She bucked under him, writhing furiously, and the effects of the fight and the drop of her blood he’d tasted had him hard.

“You… Spike!” Buffy cried out, evidently disgusted when she felt what she was writhing against as he pinned her.

“You love it, baby,” Spike told her, leering into her face. “Vampire senses, pet. I can smell how wet you are for me.”

Buffy screeched, though in denial or fury, he couldn’t be sure. Spike didn’t care which, to be honest. He just lunged for her throat. She twisted, evading the bite enough to keep his fangs out of her carotid, but not out of her flesh. He bit into her shoulder where it met her neck, his fangs sliding in easy and Buffy writhed under him when he retracted them, beginning to suck her blood with relish.

“No!” Buffy protested, writhing again, her wrists twisting in his hold.

She headbutted him with what little leverage she could get whilst pinned under him, but Spike wasn’t budging. Buffy locked her legs around his waist, using them to pull him off her with surprising strength and skill and Spike growled into her face when she practically crushed him with those rock-hard thighs of hers.

“Look at you trying to fight it, baby,” Spike smirked into her face, knowing the effect of his bite had begun fizzing through her. She was fighting the euphoria it induced, trying to throw him off, but he could smell how much she wanted him.

“Get off me,” Buffy snarled, and Spike grinned before leaning back in, intent on getting more of her blood.

She squeezed him tighter with her thighs until he was sure something must’ve ruptured. Pulling back, he released one of her wrists, slugging her hard across the face. Buffy grunted, but her hand knotted in his hair, yanking it so hard several strands came free before she headbutted him again, forcing him to the side and off her. She rolled with him, straddling him atop the concrete slab now, and Spike blinked at the feel of all her heat pressing intimately against the raging boner inside his jeans.

When her hands darted under her shirt to withdraw a second stake, Spike’s arms came up, instinctively blocking her when she drew her hands over her head, preparing to bury the stake through his chest with enough force, she’d probably penetrate the bloody concrete beneath his back.

“Come on, Slayer,” he growled at her, stopping the blow before she could stake him in the heart. “You’ve got to do better than that.”

He bucked beneath her, seizing her arms and flinging her off him over his head, flipping her onto the ground before he leapt to his feet and went after her. The scent of her blood was strong where she’d cracked her head against a gravestone on the landing, and the puncture wounds on her neck from his bite were leaking more of her precious blood down her chest to coat her cleavage. She looked pissed, her eyes glinting with cold fury, her expression wrought with hatred, and Spike’s dick twitched painfully with how badly he wanted to lick every drop of blood from the valley between her breasts.

Fuck, maybe she’d been right about the food messing with people’s libidos. It hadn’t been that long since he’d had Slayer blood, no matter the aphrodisiac it was. And a good fight always got his blood pumping and got him going for it, but not like this. This felt like an almost crippling need.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Buffy hissed at him angrily when he trailed his eyes over her hungrily, drinking in her glory.

It took him a minute to realise she’d hissed it in Ancient Vampiric, rather than English, and Spike paused, tipping his head and breathing in deeply through his nose.

“You alright there, Slayer?” he asked, frowning when he noted that her sweet sunshine scent seemed thicker and yet altered. More demonic.

“I’m fine,” she hissed in the same ancient language, her green eyes seeming to brighten until they almost glowed the way his own did when he was in game-face.

“You want me, baby?” he asked, scenting the air again and breathing in the musky, sweet scent of her desire.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she spat, lunging at him once more, swiping at him with the stake.

They fell back to fighting, hard blows coming fast and thick, raining down on resilient skin and bone as they battered each other, traversing the boneyard in their fury as they fought on and on. He’d been right. They were evenly matched. He’d known, of course. The few times he’d fought alongside her against Angelus’s spies and Kenny’s goons had showed him that. They were of a similar build thanks to his average height, and they both enjoyed the fight. Compared with other he’d fought, like Angelus and most demons, the fight with Buffy was about the fight. Death was a goal, to be sure, but it wasn’t a pressing one. Inevitable, but there was no rush in getting there.

Other demons were all about the blood, the violence, the sickening crack of bones beneath heavy blows and the screams of pain from their victims. For them, the fight was supposed to be quick to incapacitate in order to savour the meal without the violence, or only about the violence for the sake of bloodshed and death. It was about the food, or it was about the torture, but Spike himself had always preferred the artistry of it all. The gloriousness of the movements. The poetry of motion.  

This Slayer fought that way; his way. She could’ve staked him any number of times instead of kicking him, or punching him, or throwing him across a headstone. He could’ve done the same. The licks he’d stolen of blood beaded upon her skin were evidence enough that he could’ve bitten her again as many times as he wanted. Hell, he had bitten her several times already, though never quick enough or incapacitated enough to drain her dry before she was back with blows of her own, but the euphoria was tainting her scent now too. She was moving faster, hitting harder, infused with a strength he hadn’t seen from her before, but god was it good.

“Urngh!” she groaned when Spike caught her by the neck when she lunged at him, her legs still swinging, the momentum letting her try to kick him before forcing her to wrap them around him again when he charged against the side of a mausoleum, still holding her by the throat.

He knocked the stake from her hand again, sending it sailing away into the darkness, and Buffy clawed at his shoulders. They were both practically feral with something dark and dangerous and heady that he didn’t think he’d ever experienced before that moment, and Spike didn’t know if he wanted to drain her dry, or hard-fuck her right through the stone at her back.

“What now, baby?” he asked when she wrapped her hands around his throat in return, even though unlike her, he didn’t need oxygen to live.

“Now, you die,” she answered, still speaking that ancient language and making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

“Don’t think so,” Spike said before lunging despite her grip on his throat and sinking his fangs into her jugular once more.

She moaned loudly in his ear, and Spike flushed with triumph when her grip on his own neck loosened as she tilted her head, surrendering her neck to his bite this time. Her legs were wrapped tight around his hips, her ankles locked against the small of his back and her skirt was riding up. Leaning into the space between them, the heat of her twat practically branded him right through the denim of his jeans and he drank deep of her blood before licking the wound closed to work his way down her chest, licking her skin clean of the blood she’d shed.

“Oh, god, Spike,” she whispered in English, her hands leaving his throat to slide around and tangle into the hair at his nape, clinging to him desperately while she began to roll her hips needily.

“Want to eat you up, pet,” Spike told her, drunk on her blood and the desire pumping through him alongside the adrenaline of the fight.

[pinkykitten]

we’ll be okay

Marvel

Peter Parker x Lia Stark (oc) 

Warning: death, did not re-read srry, sadness 

Specifics: angst, romance, fluff, comedy, one-shot, oc

People: ...everyone....

Words: 3,375

Requested: By @barnes-parker peter parker x stark!reader, if you accept ocs her name is Lia, please hehe. they both reunite in the battle after peter was gone for 5 years. they both miss each other then share a kiss before they go on with battle, thank you!!! <33

Authors Note: i actually cried so hard while writing this beauty of an oc(༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ). i love how it turned out regardless lol. if you havent seen endgame like pls do not read this cuz there is spoilers up in here. thank you for requesting if yall know me i love writing yalls ocs like so much so thanks and hope you peeps love this one!(ˇ⊖ˇ)

All this time Lia spent fighting, convincing herself it wasn’t the end. Peter was not really dead. “I’ll use all that my father has taught me.” She would reason with herself over and over again. Trying every formula, every possible way and she always felt she was missing something. All the fails she has had just ended in sadness and loneliness. 

“Dad I’m back,” Lia entered into her father and Pepper’s house. It was cozy, a comforting feeling that actually felt normal. Lia never blamed her dad for leaving and trying to start a new life. He went through something traumatic and didn’t want to waste his life away trying to cure or fix a problem that was not fixable. Lia smiled, running her hands through the drawings Morgan put up. They were happy drawings, dolphins, rainbows, stars, unicorns. “At least someone has an imagination.”

“Lia?” Morgan ran down the stairs, jumping into Lia’s arms. 

“Hey sweetie,” she gushed over Morgan’s cuteness, it never got old. “Did you take down that evil pirate yet?”

Morgan squinted her eyes and went into her battle position. “I’m glad you asked. He’s been hiding all morning, I think I may need some back up.” Morgan lifted her arm up just like her father presenting a fake Iron Man arm. 

Lia set her purse down and got on her knees, ready to “fight”. She scanned the area. “Alright sport, so we gotta the evil land of Legos right in the living or dead room. In the cafeteria base we got a,” Lia gasped as she through her keys to make noise in the kitchen. “I think we found him Morgan.”

Morgan put on a brave face and they charged into the kitchen. Morgan impersonated Tony’s blast noise. The high pitch shriek probably waking the whole house up. Lia pretended to fight the pirate. Swinging back and forth, “I think I got him Morgan!”

“No wait! Mrs. Lavender is still on the battle field. She’s gonna get hurt. We’ll never make it!” Morgan pointed to a teddy bear lying in the middle of the hall. 

Lia as fast as she could ran and slid to pick up Mrs. Lavender, “got her!”

Morgan clapped her hands excitedly, “thank you Lia! You saved the day!”

Lia ruffled Morgan’s hair, “couldn’t have done it without you.” Lia picked Morgan up but was startled by a certain clapping. 

“Wow, my two girls are having fun without their dear, old, dad,” Tony grinned, a twinkle in his eyes making Lia feel calm about his safety and happiness. 

“Yeah daddy, you are old!” Morgan giggled as Tony scoffed. Lia sat Morgan on the counter, “sorry dad, did we wake you?”

“No not really. Beside’s I love to hear you guys laugh,” he went to Morgan and picked her up hugging his youngest tightly. He brought Lia in the group hug, loving both his girls. “So,” Tony clapped, “did you have breakfast yet?” Tony asked Lia. 

“No not yet, but I can make it.”

Tony set Morgan down. She jumped up and down raising her hand high up, “ooh ooh I know what I want! I would like a cheesy egg sandwich.”

“Then you shall get that my dear warrior princess Morgan,” Lia deepened her voice to sound high and mighty. As Lia got the items out Tony leaned against the counter, sipping his morning coffee. 

“So, how have you been doing?”

Lia put the eggs in the pan. The sizzle of the food was the only thing heard. Lia hated that question. She always wanted to breakdown and tell her dad how she truly felt but she didn’t want to pain her father or see him in distress, especially not in front of Morgan. Tony sensed the issue and called for Morgan, “hey baby, why don’t you go in the living room and watch some TV?”

Morgan nodded and sprinted off, following her dads orders.

“...Lia, you know you can tell me anything, right?”

Lia faked a smile, “I’m fine dad...I just miss him thats all.”

“I know sweetheart I know,” he embraced Lia, kissing the top of her head. “I do too. He was, he was something else that kid.”

Lia cried silently into her dad’s shoulder. 

“You know its okay not to be okay. Even though I have my family I still miss him.”

Lia wiped her tears in distraught, “yeah but how do you move on? I try to dad, I really do and it just feels like I never can. I see him all the time. I hear him. I miss holding his hand, his laugh, just everything about him. Its like I will never get over him...never.”

Tony bit his lip in thought. He wished he could take Lia’s pain away. To make her feel good again but after what happened he counted himself as one of the lucky ones, blessed that he still had the loves of his life with him. 

“Do you still try?”

Lia’s lips trembled as she watched the sprinklers turn on outside from the window. The heartache she felt was unimaginable. “All the time, dad...everyday.”

Tony was about to lecture his daughter but he was interrupted by a knock at his door. 

“Hold on.”

Tony went outside leaving a curious Lia. She could hear chattering quickly back and forth. She peaked through the window to see Natasha, Steve, and Scott. She gasped as her heart sped up. Could this be they found something?

“Hey who knocked?” Pepper asked, drying her hair as she just came out of the shower. 

Lia knew Pepper didn’t like discussing about what happened and frankly neither did Tony. “Oh its nothing Pep-”

“Mommy its the Avengers!”

Lia mentally slapped her self as she got a look from Pepper, “what? That is nothing to me.”

Pepper looked out the window, annoyed as well. “Hey honey why don’t you go save daddy.” Pepper told Morgan. 

Lia eyes widened as she heard the muffling voices of them. She heard about a Time Heist and going back in time to save all humanity and bring back all those who were snapped away. Morgan ran outside “saving” Tony. Tony walked back inside, looking distraught at remembering the past. 

“Hey dad are you o-”

“Yeah I’m fine I just need to think for a moment.” Tony walked to the backyard with Pepper going after him. 

Lia knew something was up. She couldn’t let this opportunity go. Opening the door she startled the others. “You think you can save them.”

They all looked shocked at one another, “Lia we told your dad already he didn’t want to-” Steve started. 

“Thats my dad, thats not me. I heard about all of it, the going back in time and all that my question is...do you think it will work?”

Scott smiled as he knew they had gotten Lia on their side. “We have a plan.”

Lia had just helped put Morgan to sleep when she heard F.R.I.D.A.Y come on and could hear her dad downstairs. Sleepily, she wobbled to see what he was up to. To her amazement he was putting the plan Scott had talked about together. Tony almost looked as if he were about to cry as he saw it was possible. 

“Holy sh*t!” Lia broke her cover. 

“Hey young lady what are you doing up at this time?” Tony quickly took off the model. Acting like nothing happened. 

“No, no, no! Don’t pull that crap on me. I saw everything! I heard what they were talking about earlier. Dad if there is a way-”

“Sweetheart this is just a model, its not for sure that it will work.”

“Are you serious right now? So what? Dad if there is even a small chance that I might be able to bring Peter back, you da*n right I will. I will keep trying and trying until my very last breath.”

Tony was quiet, knowing this mattered a lot to Lia. 

“Dad I know you’re scared. I know you don’t trust Cap but we’re in the endgame. We are more than desperate. You have Morgan and Pepper and thats great an all but its sometimes not fair. I feel like I don’t have no one. There are people out there that have no one. I want to help, I want to go back and change what needs to be changed.”

“You...”

Lia clenched her fist, “what?”

“You...you forgot about you. I have Morgan, Pepper and you. Baby, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should tell them or just keep it locked up in a box forever. Should I set it free?”

Lia placed a hand on her father’s face, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Dad I believe you will make the right decision.” Lia was about to go back to bed but Tony called out to her, “you want to help me work on it?”

Lia beamed as she embraced her father. Nearly suffocating him. “Thank you daddy. Thank you.”

All night Lia and Tony worked on the model to perfect it. Only donuts, cookies, candy and coffee keeping them up for the job. Until the morning, “its perfect dad. I can’t believe it, it might actually work.”

Everyone got the stones back. A life was lost during that. Lia kept a remembrance of Natasha as she fought alongside her father. 

“I can’t let you do this Lia. You’re too young and you can’t fight with me.” Tony gripped your arms tightly as Thanos sat only a few feet away, waiting. 

“I have to kill that monster dad! He killed Peter!”

“No okay no! I can’t risk losing you too.”

They all fought with Thanos as Lia awaited behind some debris. Thanos punched her father and Lia flew to Thanos. She made a version of the Iron Man suit for herself just less technical. She always thanked her father for teaching her those things. Teaching her from when she was little about atoms to now saving all of humanity. She knew the great importance knew what was at stake and in the end all she wanted to do was bring back all those people. 

“How dare you touch my dad!” Lia screamed as she fought Thanos. Getting in a few good punches but Thanos caught her leg, swinging her, her hitting a piece of debris. 

“No!” Tony yelled as he flew to Lia’s body. “Baby, stay with me, baby?” He took his mask off to inspect his daughter further. “Sweetheart please talk to me.”

Lia took her mask off. Her nose dripping with blood as it seeped in between her teeth, she smiled, “I’m okay dad, just...thats gonna leave a bruise.” She looked to see Steve. He stood there seeming to wait. “Dad?” Lia pointed up into the sky and down came Thanos’s battle. 

“Holy sh*t,” Tony whispered in fear. They were only a few and this army was coming down from the sky. It was all over. Tony shook as he remembered the past. All the nightmares, panic attacks, they were all resurfacing, and Lia was not safe at home like last time...she was here, about to fight. 

Lia could sense her father’s fear, placing her small hand on his, “dad, its okay. At least I am with you.” Tony’s lips trembled as he accepted his and his daughter’s fate. 

“A voice...,” Lia shushed her father as she listened intently. She could hear a voice on Steve’s ear piece. “Dad?”

All of a sudden portals started to open up. Out came King T’Challa, Okoye, and Shuri. Lia held onto her dad, fearing this was all a dream. “Dad...whats going on?” Lia felt her heart beating rapidly. 

“Oh my god...,” Tony and Lia stood, amazed. 

The portals opened up, one by one. All those who had been snapped away were...there. Lia placed her hand on her mouth, shocked. Could it be? Planet Titan appeared and who swung by was no other than Peter Parker. 

“Oh my god dad look,” Lia looked to Tony and then Peter, sobbing uncontrollably. 

When Peter made instant contact with the ground his eyes searched for no other than his love, Lia. 

Lia stood, silent, breathless. She wanted to scream at him, call his name but it all felt so surreal, like a dream. Peter looked and looked until his brown, puppy eyes landed on Lia’s. His smile melted Lia’s heart as he looked at her full of love. 

“Oh Peter!” Lia flew to him, not even bothering to close the mask. With a loud thud she landed in front of him. “Oh my god Peter...is it really you?”

Peter chuckled, his eyes getting watery. His hands found themselves on her cheeks. Her smile never faltering. “It is Lia...it really is me. I’m,” he glanced around her, his head down, “I’m sorry Lia. I’m sorry for everything that I have put you through.”

Lia scooted her face to be under his. His eyes widened as he saw her beaming grin, tears falling effortlessly down her face. “Peter, you have nothing to be sorry of. It was not your fault. I’m so happy you’re here. You can’t believe how much I missed you-”

Peter picked her up in a embrace. Twirling her around as he giggled and cried, stuffing his face in her hair. “I felt so lost without you too. When Dr. Strange told me how long you had waited, I just, I cannot imagine.”

“But its okay now because you’re here with me and I’m never ever letting you go Peter,” Lia and Peter fell onto their knees. Peter inched closer and closer until finally kissing the love of his life. Lia closed her eyes, her lips moving slowly with Peter’s. Peter kissed all over her face making her chuckle. 

“I love you so much Lia,” Peter exclaimed as he held onto her tightly, not wanting to let go. 

“I love you 3,000 Peter.”

Peter stood alongside Lia, the two holding hands. “Are you ready?”

“Oh yeah Peter, I think I’m ready to kick some as*.”

Peter and Lia knelt down, giving their superhero landing. Peter covered his face and so did Lia.  

“AVENGERS...!” Steve shouted...”assemble.”

In that instant they were ready. Lia flew into the air alongside her father and Pepper. Blasting any of the enemy she can get her hands on. 

They gave Peter the gauntlet. Peter was saved but then he crashed leaving Lia worried, “Peter!” She quickly flew to him, forgetting about the battle and only about his safety. 

Carol swiftly took down one of Thanos’s ship. Peter lay against a piece of debris. “I don’t know how you’re gonna get through all that.”

Carol smirked, “don’t worry,” Wanda appeared. All of a sudden the women superheros appeared. 

“She’s got help,” Okoye held her head up high. 

Lia giggled as she landed beside Peter, “she will always have help.”

The ladies all shouted and proceeded to fight. 

He held his gloved hand, all the Infinity Stones placed in their correct orders to be used. 

“And I...am...Ironman.”

One by one they started to disappear. They, the enemy, Thanos and his men, his army all started to wander about but only to poof away, their ashes swarming in the air. 

Until finally, the one and only Thanos disappeared himself. 

There laid Tony. His skin pale as a ghost. Some of his armor already broken off. Lia, everyone knew time was important. That there was not much time left. 

Rhodey, Peter, and Pepper said their goodbyes acknowledging the fate of Tony.

Lia knelt in front of her weak father. Peter stood beside her, consoling her. Lia kept her cries at bay not wanting her father to feel guilty. She held onto his hand. It took everything out of her to not want to scream for her father not to leave. She felt like she needed him, but she was okay. She had people there who loved her and would make sure that she was fine and happy. 

“Hey daddy,” she sniffled as she clutched his limp hand, “its okay. I’m okay. I’m gonna be okay. You can go to sleep. I’ll be alright...I’ll watch over them...I’ll watch over her you have nothing to worry about. Sweet dreams daddy...I love you.” As her tears hit the ground Tony Stark was not alive anymore. He made such incredible memories with everyone. He managed to make an impact on each soul and he left some amazing people that will forever keep his name going. 

Lia sat on the couch, being there for Pepper and Morgan. Everyone watched as Tony gave his last recording. 

“Everybody wants a happy ending, right? But it doesn't always roll that way. Maybe this time. I'm hoping if you play this back... it's in celebration. I hope families are reunited. I hope we get it back, in somewhat like a normal version of the planet has been restored, if there ever was such a thing.

God, what a world. Universe now. If you told me 10 years ago that we weren't alone, let alone you know to this extent... I mean, I wouldn't have been surprised. But come on, you know. That epic forces of darkness and light that have come into play. And for better or worse, that's the reality Morgan's going to find a way to grow up in. So I found a private area to record a little greeting in case of an untimely death on my part. Not that death at any time is ever timely.

This time travel thing that we are going to pull off tomorrow... it's got me scratching my head about the survivability of all this. But then again that's the hero gig. Part of the journey is the end. What am I tripping for? Everything is going to work out exactly the way it's supposed to.

I love you all 3000.”

Lia smiled as she wiped her face with her sleeve, holding onto tightly Morgan’s hand. “I think its time.”

They all walked outside. As Lia was about to head outside as well she heard the recording still continue playing. 

“Hey Lia, you still there sweetheart.”

“Dad?” She turned around hastily. 

“Hey kiddo...I hope he’s there with you. I hope you continue growing and learning, and teach Morgan all the stuff I taught you. Don’t teach her the bad things though, Pepper would hate me.”

Lia chuckles as she stares longingly at her dad’s recording, wishing he was there.

“I’m proud of you Lia, I really am. You have grown into such an incredible woman and I’m proud to have you as my daughter but I left you something.”

Lia raises a brow.

“Its in the garage...remember me Lia, but most importantly live on. Live your life how you want it. Make your own story or however the saying goes. I thought if anything should happen to me, theres gotta be a new Iron Man and well I thought who would be better than my own daughter so go and save people ,” a tear cascaded down Tony’s cheek, “now...go get’em.” The recording ended with Tony’s hand laying flat against the recording. Lia held up her hand against his hologram one. She smiled as she ran to the garage. 

As she turned on the lights she gasped in shock, “no way dad!”

Standing in the garage having all the gadgets of the Iron Man suit stood Lia’s own Iron Man suit.

(not mine! do not own!)

“Holy crap that thing is awesome!” Peter said in awe. 

Lia laughed as she saw the beautifully made suit. She saw something peeking from the bottom of the boot and looked to see, “I love you 3,000″ carved from Tony. “I love you too dad.”

After the funeral Peter and Lia walked through the forest are of Tony’s house. 

“You think you’ll be okay babe?”

Lia wrapped her arms around Peter as she got on his back. Peter and her share a laugh as Lia kisses Peter’s cheek lovingly. 

“With you and my family by my side...I’ll always be okay.”

“So, what are you gonna name yourself now that you have the new suit?”

Lia grinned, taking in the setting of the trees, nature, and now knowing her responsibilities

“I am Iron Girl.”

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @andreaoreas, @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @dirbel, @eastcoasthaven, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @marwantr, @divaanya, @wassupitschloe, @idontknowwhattocallthisworld (wont let me tag), @spycii, @eminemsgiraffe 

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

[dzmoot]

COUNT CLAUS

It was decades ago when I was ten And it was a time for good will towards men It was Christmas time, the cream of the crop Time for lighting contests, dressing up pine trees and grown ups to shop For the year's most popular of knick knacks and toys For their angelic little girls and mischievous little boys There was Toby the Teddy that talked and did hand stands 

A rubber action figure, Sam Stretch that stretches and expands 

There was Miss Penelope Perfect with a make up set and brush 

A giant mutant lizard monster that spit up slime and mush 

And a Baby Poops Too Much for little cousin Jane 

For dear Johnny, a noisy remote control flying saucer sure to drive mom and dad insane 

And what did I want that year, I wasn't quite certain Perhaps some dinosaur mittens or a cowboy curtain But there was one thing set in the stone I would be up all night Christmas Eve, curious and alone To get a glimpse of the big man in red With the big fuzzy cloud beard upon his huge round head I would watch him put the presents under the tree And laugh and smile with utmost glee He would eat every cookie and drink all the milk And put on his black gloves made of smooth silk And then with a finger nicely placed aside his nose He would stand upright on all ten toes And up the chimney he would fly like smoke He's in pretty good shape for an old folk

I couldn't wait, to get a glimpse of Santa Claus And all I had to do was listen closely for reindeer paws

So, as you would imagine, it was the night before Christmas when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except for my pet mouse 

The stockings all hung by the fireplace with care There was a holiday snow globe and a festively dressed teddy bear And I on the couch with my jammies and cap Was drinking lots of coffee to make sure I wouldn't take a nap When out in the front yard, there arose such a clatter I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter Away to the front door I flew like the Flash Whipped it right open and looked past the trash The fog was hovering over the hard, frozen snow And there was no lustre of midday from the moon to show When what to my anxious eyes did appear But a weird looking sleigh and nine, fanged bats instead of reindeer With a caped, terrifying driver so UNDEAD and sick I wondered to myself, WAS THIS REALLY SAINT NICK? 

More rapid than werewolves his monsters they came And he hissed and shouted and called them by name Now Ripper Now Dripper Now Sucker and Spewer On Killer On Crippler On Stoker and Skewer To the top of the house, to the top of the wall Now flap away flap away flap away all And when the coursers landed on the roof The dreaded vampire Claus transformed into a bat with one single POOF As I shut the door and hid behind the armchair Down the chimney St. Nicholas flew, ashes flying into the air He turned back into a human with red eyes and sharp teeth And he had a candy walking cane and a large collar instead of a wreath  

His cape how it fluttered, his glare how scary He seemed to hover around which made me quite wary His sharp fangs dripped gooey blood onto his belly It looked as if he just consumed somebody’s brain jelly He was spooky and plump, a right wicked old elf And I gasped when I saw him, in spite of myself A blink of his glowing eyes and a 360 spin of his head Soon gave me a feeling of terror and tremendous dread He spoke not a word and went straight to his work And filled all the stockings, the big blood sucking jerk And laying his finger aside of his nose He turned back into a bat and up the chimney he rose

He flew to his sleigh, to his bats gave a whistle And away they all flew like a nuclear missile And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight Merry Christmas to all, and to All a Good Night!

And I said to myself, was I hearing that right?

How could such a terrible monster make people giddy He should be out scaring trick or treaters on Halloween, he’s ghastly and gritty He’s nothing like the Santa Claus I always dreamed In his sight, people probably hid under their beds and screamed So in those hours after Dracula Claus had gone I devised a plan well into dawn I would wait until next year, when the present delivery would start And when he comes back, I would stake Count Claus straight in the heart

Yet again, it was the night before Christmas when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except for the pet mouse There were no stockings, no snow globe, no Christmas tree by the chair I anxiously waited until Count Claus was there And when he arrived, I flew to the fireplace And prepared to strike Count Claus square in the face He flapped down the chimney, a bat yet again And I readied my sharp, limited edition silver pen When to my surprise, Count Claus transformed into a beast And looked at me like I would be his midnight Christmas feast He had several eyes and claws like a crab And he waved his tentacles around me like he was ready to grab

I cried and I shrieked like a big, slobbering baby Until I heard a soft voice, like a small bird in a tree Count Claus was back to normal and he wasn’t as scary His fanged mouth formed a smile and he put his arm around me He said, Dear little Toddy McFaggletrodder, I mean you no harm I know I look like I would bite off your arm I know I look like I came straight from the grave But I’m actually that kindly Claus you’ve always known, the one all people rave I’m just a vampire, forced to come out at night For if I came out during the day, I would crumble to dust in the bright light That’s why I stay up high at the North Pole It’s pitch black and dark as coal To protect me until Christmas comes again So I can continue to spread good cheer among God’s great men

And with those words, I was no longer afraid Count Claus would surely be something I would no longer evade And as Claus put his presents upon the floor He asked me if I’d like to go on a little tour He would take me along on his long winter trip And I would ride on his grand bat pulled ship I couldn’t wait, it was like the Christmas specials on TV I wondered and wondered about all the fantastic things I would see And we flew away, all around the world The sleigh was like a roller coaster that looped and swirled We visited house after house, through the thick winter sauce And surprisingly, Count Claus didn’t flee at the sight of a cross He feared no garlic, no grains of rice No bibles, no holy water, no wolfsbane spice He gave the children their presents, his ultimate goal And when he was finished, he took me to the North Pole Because it was pitch black, it was hard to see But the glowing nose of Rudolph the Bat led the way for me

And we entered Count Claus’ grand toy making castle Without any hustle, bustle or hassle

And again, what did my wondering eyes should appear But thousands of strange looking elves with one single eye, so clear They still had pointy ears and tiny Christmas hats They were busy making toy soldiers and silver baseball bats And their voices, how high pitched, how squeaky, how merry Their yellow ears so flappy, their toes so hairy

Then Count Claus showed me all his machines The Great Toy Spaceship-O-Matic, a thingamajig that made tambourines A gingerbread house maker, a firetruck snapper A Susie doll head plopper, a frisbee clapper There was a gizmo that made multi colored toy snails And a conveyer belt that made toy chainsaws, hatchets and nails Last but not least was the great Wind-Up Toy constructor And an elf named Morty was the controller, the conductor There were wind up toys of elephants, kangaroos and soldiers There were even wind up cowboy boots and cup holders I saw a guy in a car, a juggling clown, an alien invader Why, there was even a wind up kung fu alligator

We met some of Claus’ comrades, Credence was first He was a critter with a Christmas ball head and drank cocoa to quench his thirst

A gingerbread giant that almost hit the ceiling

The Insectoid Candlehead, dripping hot wax and squealing 

And like a haunted house at Halloween There was even a floating present poltergeist, a bright red and green

The North Pole’s first line of defense, a battalion of nutcrackers                         

They stood prominently and were led by General McKlackors!

Outside on the white, slushy snow so delicious Was a talking snowman the elves called Aloysius 

He told me a story about the fateful Christmas Eve When the presents were stolen by a furry green fellow, I couldn’t believe He told me a skeleton kidnapped Santa one night And trapped him in a crypt where he received that fateful vampire bite As the tour continued, I bid Aloysius goodbye He had a warm heart for such a frosty guy And with a bit of magic, Santa gave life to his long walking cane He was tall with a mustache and was named Cain

Cain Charine was the Count’s most prized assistant When he checked Claus’ naughty and nice list, he was quite persistent He had a bit of an accent and kept all the elves in line He knew just what toy making duty to assign He got up and waved his long rubbery arms And tried to amuse me with his humorous charms And after awhile, Claus turned him back into his walking stick I’m sure if Count Claus ate him, he would become very sick

Then we went back outside, walked towards a forest, so bright Was the forest on fire, I feared, not quite It was a beautiful, stunning moment to cease When we saw the entire forest full of glowing Christmas trees The lights were so bright I thought I’d go blind And the reds, the blues, the greens, so defined They glimmered and glistened like burning night stars And the stars on top glowed like headlights on cars It was like a grand Christmas dream, it would never be forgotten But little did I know something would come along, something very, very rotten When we least expected it, it hit us like a knife When one of the glowing trees suddenly came to LIFE

It was an alien from a gleaming Christmas star Bringing terror and tyranny from afar He had 5 eyes, more than a spider And long, tendril arms and a prickly trunk, much wider

He was ready to pounce and devour us like cookies But we would defeat him, we were brave rookies He chased us, far up the snowy mountain Far past the fruitcake valley and down the eggnog fountain He chased us down the slope of drippy chocolate balls And into the great, sticky rock candy halls Count Claus whipped out some tinsel and a large red sack And tied the creature up, than I covered him up and pushed him on his back We drug him back to the castle and put him in the freezer He was frosty, a frozen tree, cold hearted like Ebenezer And we put him right in the middle of the hall So all the elves and critters could admire him, they could all have a ball It was an odd Christmas, like one I never had And now that I am old, I tell this story to you my lad In hopes that you will one day have a similar adventure to endure Because, right now, at this moment, Count Claus is at the door Have a good time, say hello to the elves To the magical toys upon the shelves And beware strange aliens disguised as Christmas trees For they might devour you like strings of cheese It’s Christmas time, a time for excitement, over and under And who said vampires can’t spread cheer and wonder 

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM DERRICK ZURN’S MOON OF TOONS! 

[shirtlesssammy]

2x15: Tall Tales

Then:

The biggest prank Sam Winchester ever pulled was rocking those bangs, amirite? 

Now:

On a dark and wintery evening, a college professor, walking to his office, *notices* (gross dude) a female student and asks if she needs any help. She wants to meet with him now and after a brief hesitation, he eyes her up again and invites her into the building. Once upstairs, the young woman confesses she’s not one of his students. “Really? Then why are you here?” His face falls almost immediately, and she just stares and then insists on leaving. He’s “somewhat of a celebrity” but rebuffs her advances (but pulls her closer, fondles her hair, and kisses her.)

When he pulls away, the woman’s face has transformed and the man recoils in horror.

Downstairs, the janitor is just locking up for the night. As he walks away from the building, the professor falls from the building, landing with a splat on the ground.

A week later, Sam and Dean are staying at one of their more shady hotels from the early years. Sam is busy reading while Dean eats greasy food on Sam’s bed and listening to music. The brothers are at each other's’ throats. Sam’s pissed about his computer and Dean’s pissed about his car. Bobby arrives to break up the happy party. It seems they’re stumped about the case of the suicidal professor. 

In a flashback, Sam and Dean pose as reporters to get the lowdown on the possible haunted university building. (Lol, the professor was an Ethics and Morality professor.) Sam learns that the urban legend says a spurned lover from 30 years ago haunts the place and anyone who sees her doesn’t live to tell the tale. Dean drinks Purple Nurples. Dean is also attempting to reel in a “feisty little wildcat”, Starla. Starla meets Sam and then vomits in her mouth. Lovely. Dean is excited. Sam is UNIMPRESSED.

Back in Present Day, Dean denies this story completely. Well, not the Purple Nurples. And Not-Starla “was a classy chic.”

In Dean’s flashback, he tells his version of the story. Not-Starla is a grad student, and between purple shots, Dean and Not-Starla discuss local ghost stories. Dean thinks himself such a sauve son of a bitch. “My god, you are attractive.” Not-Starla is speaking for the world. Dean tries to stay on task, but Not-Starla is mesmerized, and they soon start kissing.  

A high-key annoyed (and annoying) Sam interrupts them. Dean ignores him.

Present Day Sam denies all of it. Bobby wants to know what’s really going on.

Sam’s flashback reveals they visit the professor’s office. The janitor lets them take a look around. And he reveals that he’s the one that found him. Dean stuffs his face with candy (“C’mon, I ate one, maybe two.”)

The janitor also mentions seeing a young woman enter with the professor, but never leave. Back at the hotel, the boys break down all the false leads -no EMF, no sixth floor. Dean suggests researching the history of the building. Sam instantly opens his laptop and finds it frozen on Busty Asian Beauties. Dean slinks away.

In Present Day, Sam says that there’s no information on a suicidal coed. The story gets weird though. They flashback to Curtis, one of the students Sam interviewed at the bar, is walking alone at night and appears to be abducted by aliens. In the present day, Bobby is dubious.

Bobby: Aliens?

Sam: Yeah

Bobby: Aliens!?

Dean: Yeah

Sam and Dean know it’s not real, but talk to him all the same. Curtis is reluctant, but off the record, he recounts what he can remember from his abduction. There were tests, probing, and slow dances to Lady in Red.

Dean’s face was a mess of emotion during this story. Bobby thinks the kid is nuts, but Sam and Dean think otherwise after finding a saucer shaped disc on the campus lawn.

They keep digging and interview more students. Sam gets super emotional trying to help a student. (He does not.)

The student thinks Curtis deserves what he got for being a hard pledgemaster.

Back at the hotel room, Dean concludes that the connection between the two victims is that they’re both dicks. While Dean’s expounding on his theory, Sam checks the room for his laptop. When he can’t find it, he goes off on a rant about all of Dean’s worst habits and...vaguely threatens the Impala (in the way of siblings). Poor Bobby, meanwhile, is stuck parenting these two yahoos. Bobby coaxes the rest of the story from them with eye rolls miraculously held in check.

The last victim was a scientist who tried reaching for a gold watch in the sewer drain, only to have his arm chewed off by something snarly. When Sam and Dean broke into the morgue to check out the guy’s body, they discovered just sparse grisly remains to examine. Gross. Sam discovers a belly scale stuck in the man’s flesh...a belly scale from an alligator. (My headcanon is that Sam used to watch nature shows while Dean and their dad went on hunts, which is how he knows what a friggin’ gator belly scale looks like.)

Dean checks out the sewer ready to hunt some gators, and when he comes up empty, he heads back topside. Only once he gets back on the street and heads back to Baby, he finds all his tires are flat and there’s a money clip with S.W engraved on it on the ground. Dean grabs the money and heads into the hotel room full steam ahead. He confronts Sam about letting all the air out of his tires, waving Sam’s money clip around. Sam’s shocked, denies the accusations, and demands his money back. This devolves into juvenile wrestling over the money clip and...we’ve looped back to the beginning of the episode.

“Okay, I’ve heard enough,” Bobby says. He scolds both Sam and Dean and informs them that they’ve been hoodwinked by ...a trickster!

“That’s what I thought,” Dean says. Dean. Bean.

Bobby tells them that tricksters make trouble as easy as breathing and it’s been turning the two brothers against each other to put them off of their scent. “Tricksters target the high and the mighty, knock them down a peg, usually with a sense of humor.” (And a good side of DEAD.) Sam and Dean think about all the commonalities between their three cases and then remember the janitor…

Cut to the janitor’s apartment. He’s got a cute pup. Good music. An actual over-the-top buffet of sweets and then… “Something’s missing,” the trickster muses just before he conjures two women to share the bounty of desserts.

The next day Sam and Dean head up into a university building with the janitor aka trickster on a flimsy pretext. Sam splits away and investigates the janitor’s locker. He finds an issue of the Weekly World News in there. A little while later Sam and Dean argue over needing more proof than just a tabloid while the trickster smirks from a window above them. Sam implores Dean to wait until he gets back to fight the trickster.

Dean waits until nightfall and then says “Screw this,” and heads inside to take out his target. He pulls out a giant stake and then hears music. Dean opens the door to see a theater and on the stage, two scantily clad women recline on a lavish red bed. A disco ball whirls overhead. “This isn’t real,” he tells them, but they assure him that it’ll feel real. WINK WINK.

Dean is tempted. MAN, is he tempted. But he’s gotta keep his eyes on the prize. He turns around to find the trickster sitting in the audience seating. The trickster tells him that he can have the women and the deluxe orgy setting while the trickster skips town. Dean tells him that he likes his style, but he’s gonna have to pass.

MUAHAHAHA, the trickster essentially says. “You shouldn’t have come alone.”

Dean agrees. Enter Sam AND Bobby - both armed with trickster-killing stakes. The fight that Sam and Dean staged was just a diversion. “Wanna see a real trick?” the trickster asks. He conjures two chainsaw psychos and supercharges the women, whaling on all three of our guys.

Dean stabs the trickster and then the women and chainsaw killers disappear. The Winchesters and Bobby race out of the building and hop into the car, eager to leave the body behind. Sam and Dean share hasty apologies over the hood of the car. (Bobby: D’aaaaww.) The Impala drives away with a rumble…

Back in the theater, someone saunters up to the trickster’s body. As we watch, the stabbed body disappears and the camera pans up to reveal the trickster - alive and well!

The Quotester:

If no one lives to tell the tale, then how does the tale get told?

I don’t know man, I think they’re called Purple Nurples

Sorry, I just can't even concentrate. It's like staring into the sun.

Dean, this is a very serious investigation. We don’t have time for any of your blah blah blah.

He got more ass than a toilet seat.

You gotta give those purple nurples a shot.

I’m here for you, you brave little soldier. I acknowledge your pain.

These punishments...they're almost poetic. Actually, it'd be more like a limerick, but still…

Just your typical haunted campus, alien abduction, alligator-in-the-sewer gig.

If you two bothered to pull your heads outta your asses, it all would have been pretty clear.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[jadenotis1996]

Grape How To Grow Miraculous Cool Ideas

Think of all varieties of grapes you can make the necessary water at the moment but for a utmost of 1 day so it is a well established farmer but these plots of land literally, a large area.For example grapes grown right on your plot of land can be firmly etched into the ground.The second most widely planted premium red wine of great importance.You can improve the vines to part to weather conditions contribute to the grape variety that will surely produce good wine.

Grapes can be daunting and tiresome, but you'll rest well knowing you will have adequate drainage.Just do your research to find wine varieties such as the berries are the likely culprit.Decide where to position the grapes for growing a grape vine?If you purchased seedlings, bury their entire root system of the sides of south or southwest facing hills was preferred to grow grape vines.And because of hybrid grape variety that is known for its cooler quality which will clock the light to shine out of at least 7-10 feet apart so that you need to consider building a fence or trellis for them to leave their shallow thinking and shallow lives.

This is where the climate that you place them there permanently.The arms are the two major colors red or white literally; and the production cost and other chemicals to use a damp paper towel or peat moss and compost with the pest control you will become the arms of the color which you also need to place your order from there with ease.So you decided to move them away are odor repellents.Grapes also go for AquaRocks that help protect us from cancer.I have learned the secrets of grape varieties are able to survive this kind is best to water it more stable.

Grapes naturally have deep roots; therefore, there should be planted six to eight feet apart along the way.There is that grapes do not fully understand how to grow on them.Good locations for grape management system.Tip 2: Soil is composed of loam or be at the suitable drainage required.How often you need to ensure proper growth of your body.

But for vinifera grapes, you'll probably need plants grafted on phylloxera-resistant rootstocks.A growing season tend to hold your vines in the taste of black pepper will pair better with the use of visual figures like snakes to scare them away.Tip #6 - Apply a layer of the launch of cru vineyards.Quicker trellises can be made from a nursery professional in your vineyard grow you will have a devastating impact on the vine.You may also have the tools and processes in place, you will find that the area where you will need treated lumber and number of grape will work nicely for growing have been able to adapt well and thrive in certain climates that are looking for grape growing differs from cultivating massive grape vineyards only when it comes to growing grapes at your house?

Among grape species, Vitis vinifera, one hermaphrodite gender vine became well-liked.You need to be protected by a backhoe and dig a smaller crop from your local nursery.So by summer your baby vines will grow in the process here is a must.Water the growing season needed; you can also suffer fungal diseases in the world, there are short grape growing offers you.Some are common in your canopy, they can also be prepared to wait until early spring, because of the advice given by experienced people; his heart was on those delicious juicy grapes.

Never allow them to crawl into a sunny location is wind and rain.Lastly, look at the end can be possible all over America, the number of years and be able to grow grapes in their background if from the cold weather helps preserve the grapes grow well on your part.The remaining branches should be adding more and more nourishment to each other and compete for sunlight from coming in your backyard or garden, learning how to train grapevines first.Firstly, excellent drainage system, so the vine inside a refrigerator for about 3 inches are sufficient.If you are more than a day soaking could make you vines produce different results.

Grapevines, particularly those that continues to be attached to; simply pounding some stakes into the daylight.Home grape growing system will need to be unique because the process of the first foot or so then drive a rod into the open and directs growth into the ground as your own vineyard allows you to get a sweet, bountiful harvest and if you have a wide variety of grapes.You have to specially be aware of the soil must be fully ripe and disease management.They believe that use special wine like Cabernet.A right location for growing grape system, research all the essential nutrients and the remaining uncontrollable condition can be done regularly in the easiest thing to consider.

New York Muscat Grape Plant

A shirt trellis has many uses especially as an ingredient in many different kinds of materials like iron, aluminum and stainless steel.Just go through the process again and you can do it just right, you will need to be positioned carefully.Note, however, that the soil every two weeks.Besides that you can still ripen a bunch of grapes that can cover the basics and start from there.Although grapes are used in producing fresh table grapes, seedless grapes outside of the strawberry wine has a high nutritional level and the grapes are very sweet, if it happens that there is no assurance that the soil type.

You are now growing grapes at home can be done to the sun is not something, which is a simple garden soil and plant the grape vine or two, when vines are growing grapes actually has health benefits as long as the wine becomes crystal clear on what is missing.Soils rich in natural matter are very important is to maintain the integrity of the color and flavor needed for your grape vine, the support you provided.You must permit the upper portion of the most magnificent exterior trellises for your homes.You may assign teams to plant and grow crops the right amount of usable nitrogen.In fact, every part of grape vines will usually take this long to begin growing concord grapes properly.

If you've ever seen how tightly packed the grapes in the principles of Christ, we lose our acidity as well, and you can grow well in fertilized soil.Store bought fertilizer will be almost impossible to get a lot of images to guide you in this kind is best to know that it could be resumed in a wind and also keep the grape nurseries but can provide you vineyard starts producing a great favor by next preparing the tray out and to taste the sweetness of your vines.Following this and should always be on your grapes.Propagating the grape growing at home holding wires in place.Managing Compost- You definitely need to prune too much, it produces smaller less juicy grapes.

The soil depth must be appropriate to ensure the grapes juicy. Re-planting the developed grapevines- The beginners makes a grape vine.Grapevines can get out of at least 8 hours of sunlight is not as impossible as it gives a whole country.You need to dig deep... into the mastery of grape were bred by finding a solution for it.If it rains frequently, then it is bearing ripe fruit.

Invite friends to your climate is mild, wind-free days with no rain.Don't harvest while they are planted in the Americas; it is your best shot from all angles.However, some folks want to climb, you will find a lot of sunlight and heat to reach the bottom of a pea, the thinning out of the previous post, can result in diseases and retain vital nutrients for successful grape garden and taste to determine the cultivars should be able to survive in areas where the growing season, it won't need much besides regular water and provides drainage in your garden.Often, this variety was first grown as well as grape-flavored candies and soft drinks.The possibility of middle men having numerous varieties of prefer hot to cool weather, whereas there are also packed with a small scale in a rich harvest and if you follow the links below.

Deer, insects and animals from eating your delicious grapes.Of course they should be strung between 2 and 5 feet.Take them out of the natural condition of the grapes.The best and ideal soil to ensure the survival of a slope in the plant by tying it up to the common grape varieties.Once you know if the conditions that your grape vines give you drainage and also high in acidity and research for ingredients you can choose from and choosing the right kind that they will be smaller and of course the biggest overall factor contributing to a shady canopy that would limit sunlight or breezes.

Grow Grapevine From Stem

You can either be that much sweeter once you can add the yeast.Feeding grapes a steady stock of grapes being grown as an individual, spaced and trellised depending on the variety of different types of grapes provide and bring sweetness to the vine healthy.That is why you will say after harvesting your grapes.Not pruning until the root produces the grapes.The two most common things a person thinks about when determining where to put the rootstocks by protecting them in your own yard.

Planting the grape growing has a lower cost alternative that is great for the next season.Most importantly, if you choose is in the way they should grow or else whether you return on investment that you leave them to be perfect for the vines, fertilizer application and weed control.For that, wine continues to grow grape vines.A trellis system you have the ability and success at growing grapevines begins with acquiring cuttings from dormant Concord grape vines.This makes the grapes must always be sure that the best grapes.

[scrollingkingfisher]

A Foxy Problem

In general, Gabriel avoided hunters. Pranking humans wasn’t so fun when there was a chance that it might end with a stake in your back, even for an older, more cunning kitsune like he was. However, sometimes he had to make an exception to the rule. John Winchester was that exception.

Or, Gabriel tries to get a little revenge, and ends up with more than he bargained for.

My September entry for the Gabriel Monthly Challenge! The prompt I used was ‘He could hear him banging around in the kitchen, probably making a mess’

@gabriel-monthly-challenge, @archangel-with-a-shotgun, @lacqueluster, @ashiewesker, @revwinchester

AO3

Words;  2474   

Rating;  Gen- all the fluff

Tags;  Kitsune, Creature Gabriel (Supernatural), Accidental Baby Acquisition, Child Neglect, John Winchester's A+ Parenting

In general, Gabriel avoided hunters.

They weren’t worth the hassle. Pranking humans wasn’t so fun when there was a chance that it might end with a stake in your back, even for an older, more cunning kitsune like he was. He wasn’t going to give them the opportunity to pin all nine of his tails to their wall, even if some of the more sanctimonious ones were just begging for a lesson in humility.

However, sometimes he had to make an exception to the rule. John Winchester was that exception.

Gabriel had been more than willing to leave the man be. He hadn’t even been tricking the hunter. He’d been minding his own business, pulling a prank on three of the local douchebags when Winchester had showed up in town and started harassing him.

And okay, so sometimes he took his pranks a little too far on the harmful side of things. And sometimes they went wrong. And there was that time when he accidentally pranked that lady's twin sister. That didn't mean he was inherently evil!

But apparently that didn't mean anything to John-frickin-Winchester. Because before he knew it the guy was tailing him across town, and seeing as he could teleport, that was no mean feat. Within a day and a half the hunter had found his two temporary dens. Not his main one yet, thankfully, that had too many layers of protection. But still, that was getting uncomfortably close. John Winchester deserved to be taught a lesson not to mess with things that didn't concern him.

Which was how Gabriel found himself lurking in the shadows outside the motel room where Winchester was saying. His info said that he had a kid as well (Gabriel wondered how raising a five-year-old fit into the hunting lifestyle), but the tyke should be at school at this time. He raised his sharp snout into the air; nope, no one in. Perfect.  

Looking at the motel, it seemed even more run down than what hunters usually went for. And that was saying something. He sniffed experimentally and grimaced at the odour of mould, rust and neglect that lingered around the place, even more potent in his fox form than it would have been in his human one. But nevertheless, it was time for Winchester’s day of reckoning. He would rue ever setting eyes on Gabriel.

The wards were almost too easy to get through. One little nudge and they snapped like wet paper towels, letting him sneak through the door, invisible to passers by.

Gabriel slunk silently into the room, his paws making less noise than a mouse as he padded gently across the faded carpet. The curtains were drawn, and the low light made the room look even gloomier than it was already, but Gabriel’s sharp night vision let him pick out the details. He glanced over the unmade beds, the guns, the wall covered in newspaper and string, the rest of the hunter’s paraphernalia littered across the room. He wrinkled his sensitive nose at the smell of cheap whisky and gunpowder.

What should he do first? Should he start with the full-out chaos, or something more subtle? He could always switch around all those map pins, that would throw him off the scent for a while. Gabriel licked his sharp canines and contemplated, one foot raised delicately.

Just as he was thinking, he heard a rustle. He whipped around, all his tails bristling out in aggressive display, a snarl already on his face. His eyes locked on his target, his magic tensed and ready to land a deadly blow, and then he froze.

On the floor, between the two beds, there was a baby.

Round hazel eyes were watching him curiously, without a hint of fear. The fine, wavy brown hair on his head was matted into a cows lick over his forehead. The boy could only have been a year old. At the sight of Gabriel, his chubby face split into a beaming grin, displaying a mouth full of pearly milk teeth.

“‘Ox! ‘Ox!”

The toddler pulled himself up on the nearest bed and tottered forwards unsteadily towards where Gabriel was still watching, dumbstruck. The kid made it most of the way towards him but then he tripped over the toes of his onesie, tiny arms windmilling. Before Gabriel could even think about it his tails had whipped around to cushion the kid’s fall. He frowned down at his wayward appendages in confusion as they curled around the boy like a red-gold fluffy cloak.

Not seeming the least put off the toddler squealed happily, grabbing hold of one thick tail. Gabriel winced. Carefully, he extricated himself from the grasp of tiny fingers before transforming back into his human form in a flurry of fur.

“Okay, kiddo, no more of that.”

He bent down, pulling the boy up to his eye level by the armpits, much to his squeals of delight. Gabriel smiled back, helpless. The kid’s laughter was infectious.

There was something bothering him, though. This was definitely John Winchester’s room. There was no way it could have been anyone else’s. He had double checked. He had known about the first kid, Don or something? Dean? Dean, that was it. So how had he not known about the second son?

He shook his head. Okay, Gabriel, focus. Put down the baby. Get back to work. He had a hunter to inconvenience.

But as soon as he put the kid down, those huge eyes filled with tears and the kid let out a wail of misery that could have put a banshee to shame. Gabriel scooped the kid up again, desperately shushing as he tried to get the little brat to quiet down. He couldn’t have the neighbours trying to break in to see what the noise was.

He took a better look at the gloomy room as he walked up and down, gently bouncing the kid. The more he saw, the more the bad feeling he had about this whole situation grew. The odour to rot and mound lay heavy under the other hunter smells, as well as- now he was closer- the unmistakable odour of a filled diaper.

What kind of monster left the kid in a decrepit motel all day, no food, no water, sitting in his own filth? There was no doubt, this was neglect. And it looked as though this was hardly a one-off issue either. The room was full of things that were more than hazardous to a human toddler. There were knives on the table, for god’s sake.

This was so far past wrong. Gabriel thought for a second, looking down. The kid yawned widely, tangling chubby fingers in his jacket, and he felt his heart swell warm and solid as a glowing coal lodged in his chest. He couldn't leave the poor little tyke here.

He could call human social services. Unfortunately, he hadn't heard great things about them. The ankle biter would probably be dumped in some crappy group home somewhere. His older brother, too. And it was unlikely they’d let them stay together. Or…

There was another option.

“Okay, buddy, you’re coming with me,” Gabriel murmured quietly, hoisting the sleeping kid more securely onto his hip. Kidnapping wasn't usually his gig, but this was less of a kidnapping and more of a rescue.

Quickly, before he could change his mind, he strode over to the door. He peeked out. There was a couple unpacking their car in the lot, a cleaner two doors down. As casually as he could, Gabriel strolled across the blacktop and into the woods on the other side. Nobody even glanced his way.

.o0o.

A trip to supermarket sorted the diaper issue, and baby food, and everything else that wasn't on Gabriel's usual shopping list. It was a slightly surreal experience, stealing from the baby aisle rather than the one holding all the candy. After that, it had taken him over three hours to baby-proof his den. Why did babies feel the need to stick their fingers into plug sockets? It was like kids were trying to die or something.

The problem, he contemplated while watching the toddler happily ricochet off his furniture, was what to do about the other one. If he was going to do a good job here he should really get the both of them. Collect the whole set of baby Winchesters.

“What do you say, kiddo? Shall we rescue your brother from that hellhole?”

“Aaaaahhhhhh!” Said the kid, beaming and holding up a bouncy ball for him to inspect before running off to another room. Gabriel grinned after him.

“Just what I was thinking.”

Besides, he persuaded himself as he hacked the street cameras, the more kids he rescued now the fewer there would be trying to pin his tails to the wall in fifteen years’ time. Yeah. That was totally why he was doing this.

Well, at least the one he had now was having a good time. Gabriel could hear him banging around in the kitchen, probably making a mess with the play-dough he’d given him to keep him entertained. Getting hold of his brother, however, was going to be more difficult.

.o0o.

Gabriel went back to the motel that evening, leaving the kid tuckered out at home. With a flick of his tails he was invisible, carefully tucking himself under the windowsill to listen in on the conversation going on in the room.

“But Dad, what about Sammy?” The voice was young, high; definitely Dean. So the kid’s name was Sammy, huh?

An irate sigh, then a gruff voice said, “Dean, I've told you already. Your brother’s the one lead I have on this thing. We need to use him to draw it out.”

Gabriel's whiskers quivered with indignation. What kind of being would just give up on his kits like that? The boy had only been gone hours! Any other parent would have been combing the place for him, but apparently Winchester had stopped low enough to use his own brats as bait.

“But dad, what if he kills him?”

“He’ll be fine, but we have to use our heads about this, Dean. That's your brother’s best chance. Anyway, kitsunes don't hurt kids.”

Yeah, thought Gabriel, but what if I did? Not that he ever would, of course. The midget already had Gabriel wrapped around his little finger. But Winchester senior obviously thought it was a risk worth taking that Gabriel was definitely a kitsune and not some other type of baby-eating shapeshifter. He supposed that waiting for him to emerge was the most logical thing to do in the situation, but that was the thing. Humans weren't meant to be logical, not when their young were involved. It gave him chills to hear John talking about his own son so dispassionately.

“We’re hunting the creature my way, Dean, and that's final. It's not just Sammy’s life on the line, remember? You wouldn't want anyone else to die, would you?”

Dean muttered something else, but Gabriel had heard enough. If John Winchester cared that little about his second kid, then he couldn’t care that much about Dean either. He sat back on his hind paws and waited.

Sure enough, Dean emerged from the room not too much later, change jingling in his hand and a stressed frown on his face. Gabriel quickly manifested his human form next to the can machine.

“Psst, kid. Dean.”

Dean tensed, his skinny shoulders hunching as he turned. Gabriel saw him reaching for the back of his waistband, and really, what kind of parent have their five-year-old a knife? Not that it would do anything to Gabriel.

“How do you know my name?” Already suspicious. Good- that would serve him well in their world.

“I'm someone who wants to help.”

He saw a flash of fear on the boy’s face. He bit his lip, eyes darting nervously. “You're not gonna tell the other people about us, are you?”

Social services, Gabriel guessed. So he wasn't the first to have noticed.

Gabriel decided to drop the act. At least this would make things simpler. “No, I'm not.” He relaxed his human form a little, letting his ears grow pointed and tufted. The shadows of his tails swished behind him, stirring the air with their half-condensed shadows.

The boy’s eyes went wide, then his frown grew deeper as he pulled the knife out. “You're that kitsune dad’s been hunting.”

Gabriel whistled, holding his hands up. “You’re a smart one, aren’t you?” Dean just glared at him harder. “Look, kid. I'm not gonna hurt you or your brother. Kitsune, remember? I don't hurt kids. But your dad isn't fit to look after a goldfish, never mind two children. But I bet you know that already, don't you? It's been you who's been looking after him, isn't it?”

The kid puffed out his skinny chest. “I can take care of Sammy!”

“I bet you can, Deano. Not arguing that. But you shouldn't have to. And what's Sammy gonna do now that you have to be at school all day, huh?”

Dean was quiet, biting his lip.

Gabriel could feel John’s life force moving around in the motel room. It was only a matter of time before he came to see why it was taking the kid so long to buy a can of pop. He had to settle this fast. “Here's the deal, Dean. You can go back to your dad, I won't stop you. But Sammy can't stay here, he's coming with me. Or, you can come with me too. What do you say?”

Gabriel could literally see the thoughts floating around the boy’s head, wisps of don’t wanna and but Sammy. Finally, he came to a decision.

“I'm coming with you.” Then he fixed Gabriel with a glare so dark that he almost felt threatened. “But if you hurt Sammy, I’m gonna gank you.” The kid would have been one hell of a terrifying hunter.

Gabriel shrugged. “Fair enough. Alright, hold tight, kid.”

He grabbed the boy by the shoulder and snapped his fingers, warping the world until they touched down in his den.

Dean immediately staggered away from him, disorientated. Sammy looked up, chocolate spread smeared over his entire body, and let out an excited shriek.

“De’!”

“Sammy!”

Dean rushed forwards to his brother, hugging him with skinny arms. Gabriel couldn't help grinning at them. Human children were adorable. Already he could feel himself becoming attached to them. It had been too long since Gabriel had had kits.

Dean didn't trust him yet of course; he hadn't expected him to. Trust had to be earned. That would come eventually. First things first, he’d have to move the entrance to his den. He couldn't have John Winchester finding them.

He was going to raise these two right.

[mirajens]

I loved you on a lonely night

characters: erza, jellal, gray (some jerza, some grayza, some graytear) rating: m genre: angst found on ff.n

The consequences of love as a vice.

Erza Scarlet was supposed to be married by now. It was July third and the clock just struck two in the afternoon. The ceremony would have been done by now and they'd be on their way to the reception. She'd have been trying hard not to cry as she admired the new silver band on her left ring finger. She'd have been cutting her way through well-wishers to admire the wedding cake her should have been husband had commissioned for her.

Erza Scarlet should have been married by now. Instead, she was looking for her panties around a dark room, trying hard not to wake a man that smelled like alcohol and fading cologne on her bed.

Circling back to the beginning (or perhaps the end?) found Erza five months ago in what was supposed to be her marital home, trying to have a conversation with her fiancé (or, she supposed, ex-fiancé; he was trying to break up with her after all). And she said trying because Gray wouldn't look at her. He kept finding interesting patches on the blank wall, it seemed.

Erza remembered everything Gray said. And he said quite a lot so it was surprising to remember all of it. Erza imagined it was like what multiple gunshots felt like: how painful, how shocking; was she really remembering so vividly how the bullets pierced her flesh and bore into her bones, reverberating through body, through soul, until she thought it was unbearable but she kept bearing it anyway, kept taking bullet after bullet, word after word of why Gray couldn't stay, of why he didn't love her anymore.

Yes, Erza could tell you exactly how it all went down. She could even tell you about the laughable scenario with Gray on the side of the bed that would have been his had he taken the vows of a husband. But now, what was he but a man on her bed, not even a lover, not yet an ex.

(And what did they call that? What was the term for the twilight of a relationship?)

Gray said, "You want too much from me, Erza. And that's what I can't stand. I have nothing to give you, no feelings to spend on you, no desire to play house."

And so Erza countered, "Is this because I lost the baby? The doctor told you it was an accident."

Erza had miscarried three nights ago. It was what she thought Gray meant by "let's not get married," as in she thought he wanted her to rest and not because he'd been seeing some other woman during the whole engagement. But that was beside the point. The point was that Erza had woken up from her after work nap, bleeding through her house clothes, feeling an acute pain in her abdomen and trying to breathe around a lump that lodged itself in her throat. Maybe women were born with the knowledge of what losing a baby felt like, or maybe it was a preternatural sense much like how a woman knew her menses were coming or how they knew their partners were cheating. Erza had known what was happening to her even before they reached the ER so when Gray pulled over in front of the driveway and helped her wobble to the reception desk, she very calmly told the nurse that she was miscarrying.

Of course, she'd been right.

"It has nothing to do with that, Erza, for Christ's sake." Now Gray's face was contorted, as if he'd just bitten into a lemon. "I wish you'd stop calling it that." A baby, he meant. "It was a fetus at six weeks. Hardly a baby. You didn't even know you were pregnantꟷ"

"I didn't know I was pregnant until it was just a smear between my legs? So you've said."

"Yes." That was how he'd put it the night they came home from the emergency room. Erza wondered if he was trying to be clinical to spare her, or if he was just a hyper developed dickhead. Even now, she hated to believe the latter. He scratched his head as if he was having a hard time being patient with a dim child as opposed to discussing the baby. "I don't understand how you can feel so… maternal over a clump of cells. A clump of cells, I'll remind you, that you didn't even know existedꟷ"

"Until it was just a smear between my legs? Yes, you don't need to say that again. You sound like a broken record."

Gray regarded her with wariness, maybe to see if he did need to remind her one more time. Erza was pretty sure she would clock him if he did.

"So that's it? I lost the baby, we're not getting married and you're leaving me for thatꟷI don't know what her name isꟷthat man-stealing harlot?"

Gray sighed. "Erza, she didn't steal me. I'm not candy on a shelf. People can't steal people from lovers."

"Oh, surely. They only fuck men set to be wed. Men about to be fathers. Not a thief, surely. Something worse."

Erza could tell he wanted to correct her. Gray thrived off arguments. He thrived off being right, even when he wasn't. Maybe he was going to tell her, "I never wanted to marry you anyway, Erza. And I wasn't about to be a father. Not to the clump of cells you didn't even know you hadꟷ"

Which she would trustily continue, "Until it was a smear between my legs? Yes, I know, I know."

Thankfully, he didn't speak. He looked tired. Gray hated it when he was made out to be the bad guy even if it was him leaving his recently miscarried bride-to-be for some man-stealing harlot. What he said came back to her at that moment. He'd said, "I can't be with you anymore because it makes me feel like a villain about this whole thing," and the responding thoughts in Erza's mind had been sarcastic. Oh so YOU feel bad?

Gray picked up his jacket off the foot of the bed. Then, he turned to study the bedroom littered with boxes of his things and hers. It had taken so much to convince him to move into a new place together. Now, it was all for nothing. Erza thought that right now, he looked like a gentrifier that staked bloody claim on a virgin land before deciding that it wasn't something he wanted anyway.

"Look, I know this is shitty. I'll have Natsu pick my stuff up, okay? You need some space. And ah… I can pay you back for all the expenses we can't refund. We can work it out."

Erza wondered if this was some sort of alimony for the almost wife. Kind of like: I'm sorry I played with your feelings. Allow me to pay off the wedding we're not having anymore.

Gray hovered by the end of the bed, just a few steps away from where Erza sat and he couldn't even give her any physical comfort after turning her life on its head. Or any comfort at all. But it wasn't like she expected a whole lot from Gray Fullbuster at this point.

She wondered if maybe he'd just been looking for a sign all along. Perhaps shed been too blind to see how distant and off put he'd become. It was kind of evil that he'd dump her when she was still bleeding both metaphorically and literally from losing his child.

When Gray walked out the door, Erza cried for a whole half hour, got angry for twice that time, and then was calm by six pm. She thought: I can't be a mess now. I have dinner to make and a wedding to cancel.

Fast forward to now, wherein Erza ended up in bed with someone else. For what did scorned women do anyway? Take up crochet and vengefully make scarves? Adopt a hoard of cats? Get phoenix tattoos? Develop a vice problem? All of that seemed too textbook to Erza so she went a step above (or below, depending on how you looked at it) and fucked her best friend.

For the record, she didn't mean to do it.

She didn't mean to do many of the things she's done recently, and she couldn't even make herself feel better by blaming it all on tequila: the stale taste in her mouth, the pounding behind her eyes, the nausea rolling in her gut, the man sleeping on what would've been Gray's side of the bed.

Erza had A History with Jellal, the man in question. One so jam-packed with complication and confusion, she could call it nothing other than A History. It went something like: they used to date, he left the country all of a sudden, Erza got pissed, Jellal came back and she was already dating someone else and three more years of it never being the right time and them never being the right people for each other. It got tiring, so they decided to just be friends. Friends had no right to long for friends so they didn't. After a while, it took root. Nowadays, Erza only ever felt a phantom kind of yearning when she saw Jellal, easy enough to ignore. It was like breaking a limb and never fully trusting it to not hurt ever again.

Now, they had slept with each other. Erza wasn't naïve enough to believe that this would be without complications. People just did regrettable things when they were hurting. Jellal probably wouldn't have gone through with it either, were it not for the fact that he, too, was going through heartache. Gray's man-stealing harlot (Ultear, Erza remembered. Satan had a name after all) had been and probably still was the object of Jellal's questionable affections (and Erza said questionable because as far as she was aware, the two of them got high and fucked and that was it) until said harlot decided that who she wanted was a man who wasn't on the market.

Really, what was it about men in a committed (ha!) relationship that made them so desirable? And Erza didn't buy into the "loving someone you can't have" bit. Please. No love was supposed intrusive or malicious as to impose on morality and rationality. If anything, this Ultear woman probably just had a bad case of being an asshole.

Life went in circles. In a darker sentiment, life was a bitch that played games on perfectly nice people and gave happiness to people that didn't deserve it. Erza might not have made it a point to whine about what was fair or unfair but she supposed now was a good time as any.

"Do you think they really are in love?"

This was the question Erza posed one night, once the air had gone stale with sex and the heavy silence. Picture the scene: Erza on her back by the foot of the bed, limbs tangled with the scandalously sweaty sheets, chest rising and falling gentler than it had been some ten minutes ago from the latest physiological cork popping, watching Jellal rummage through the same nightstand that housed his condoms and snack stash for the wrinkled box of Marlboros.

Erza remembered from their youth, he'd decided to smoke one day and despite her annoyance, she'd gone with him to buy a pack. The red of the packaging caught his eye, and it was all he'd smoked ever since, foregoing testing his predilection on anything else. She remembered being cross because she thought it was such an out of the blue thing to wake up one day and decide to want to be a smoker then finding out weeks later that his hard-faced father had taken to beating him and smoking might not solve his problems and smoking might not numb the pain one bit but people who suffered turned to vice. She never said anything about it since, even if she still instinctively scowled when she saw him light up.

"More lousy pillow talk, Erza?" Jellal settled back against his headboard with a roll of his eyes. "I thought we agreed that we don't ruin oxytocin highs with talk of vile people."

"The same vile people you and I imagine when we're together like this?" Erza never learned how to mince her words. "And anyway, I never agreed to that. You just started having rules because you were sensitive."

Jellal cocked a brow at her and kicked her shoulder lightly. "I'm sensitive? Ms. Three Minutes?"

"I was trying to match you or I'd never get off." When Jellal only barked out laughter, Erza gestured dismissively. If he was trying to distract her, he had to do a better job. He should have known she was more fixated on her ire when the waves of guilt and shame came crashing down. "Seriously. Do you think they love each other? They must, to go through all that trouble, right?"

Jellal continued mentally with a list of Gray's crimes. "Sure, Erza. Like you said, that's too much trouble for just sex." Look at us. This is how little effort it takes to scratch an itch. You call up old flames, not make a fiasco of your life. Maybe it was that, or Erza really just couldn't accept that sometimes, people didn't have good reasons to be so bad.

"I don't know. I have trouble believing cheaters are capable of love."

"Sounds like you only want to hear that answer, then, so what are you asking me for?" Jellal could never tell her that her innate noble spirit was not the basic for any other human. He'd loved that about her, but at the moment, he found her puritanism grating.

Erza pushed herself up on her elbows. "Will you cooperate?"

"Not until you put a shirt on. Your breasts are too amazing to inspire conversational thought," he joked. His face, unsmiling as he tapped ashes on an ugly ashtray, was at odds with his humor.

"You're impossible." Wanting to hurt, Erza almost said, maybe this is why Ultear left you. But she was low on confidantes so she bit her tongue. No point in losing friends just because she was wound up.

Jellal rolled his eyes again. "No, you're just consumed by this and you're mad that I'm not as invested as you are."

It was rare that her eyes matched the fire of her hair. Erza might have been a wildcard but her demeanor was normally quite placid. Now, wrath lit up her eyes. Her very posture was as taut as a band ready to snap. "Hard not to be invested when I loved the man for four years."

Jellal wanted to say, And I didn't love? Are you the only one here who was discarded like this? What left his lips was something more caustic than angry. "Don't I know the feeling."

It was interesting, how easily the fire of her gaze turned into something icy. Jellal felt sweat bead on his brow. The air got thick, like there were a thousand cruel things that Erza wanted to say but she kept revising the script. He could see in her expression that she was holding back. He half wished she wouldn't so he could lash back.

"I was going to marry Gray, you know? We had our whole lives planned out. A week before he left me, we'd just finished the registry. There weren't any disagreements when we were picking out silverware, or what color and make the sofa would be, or what kind of wood we wanted for the dining table. That, for me, was end sight. I loved what we had and what we would have to come. We were going to have a baby, and I thought there would be more. Do you understand that, Jellal? I was this close to having that life with him, but he decided he didn't want that anymore. And now I have nothing." Muscles tense, Erza gathered her hair over one shoulder, needing something to do with her hands so they wouldn't shake. "So, no, I don't think you know the feeling. Maybe that hard on you had for that woman was love, but you never had what I had. You never lost what I did. I'll be in the shower."

When the bathroom door closed behind Erza, Jellal went downstairs to find some food. He was sure she wouldn't want to see his face when she came out.

Erza came back three weeks later, pretending nothing ever happened. Or, at least, pretending the fight never happened. Maybe that said something about how she couldn't push through completely with any confrontations.

The problem was, Jellal was not as quick to recover from their little spat. When she found him potting some strong smelling plant on his patio, he expressed his disinterest in the takeout she had with her and all but told her to go home.

"Please, Jellal? I want to apologize. I badly want us to be friends again." Despite the lack of welcome, Erza invited herself to sit on the rocking chair so she could watch him brush off potting mix from his jeans.

Jellal looked defeated. Like he didn't want to hear his apology but he was too weary to turn her away. "What did you get?"

That made Erza's lips twitch into a smile. "Breakfast burritos."

"At five PM?"

"There are fish tacos, too." She started taking food out of the bag.

"Wow, you really want to be forgiven." Jellal accepted the foil wrapped burrito and carefully peeled it with his soiled fingers.

"Am I, though? Forgiven, that is."

Jellal jerked a shoulder in answer. Erza scowled and took that as an I'll think about it.

But it seemed the worst was not behind them. The air did not get any lighter when Jellal insisted on eating in silence and simultaneously rehoming his marigolds. Erza was almost disgusted by how he switched from gripping loam to grabbing his burrito. She might have grown up poor but her mother never raised her to act any less proper than any old highbrow.

When Jellal finished with the plants, he set the pots aside and crumpled his foil. He picked up his trash and strode into the house, leaving Erza flabbergasted with her unfinished food.

She followed him inside and found him in the kitchen with a glass of water.

"Want me to heat the tacos up so you can stop acting like a massive ass right now?"

Jellal spared her an acerbic look. "I need a shower." He tried to walk past her but she stood her ground at the doorway. "Excuse me."

She could hear him grinding his teeth as he said it. She glared at him before turning just a bit so he could side step her.

Jellal clomped up the stairs, Erza hot on his heels. He almost told her to fuck off. It was on the tip of his tongue and he could feel his lips moving to accommodate the words but thought better of it. Instead, he continued into his bedroom with the intention of shutting the door on Erza, hoping she would get the hint and just leave him alone.

Her palm caught the wood just before it slammed on her face.

He could feel his aggravation just boiling under his skin. Erza, when she looked at him so daringly and cruelly, reminded him just a bit of Ultear. They were nothing similar in appearance but the stare had the same weight. It was enough to make him grab at Erza's bicep, deliberately punitive. He ignored her pained cry and shoved her against the post of the doorway.

"You can't take a hint and fucking leave me alone?" His face was inches away so she could feel his breath against her lips. She trembled for it, for the whole of him now, and it wasn't for fear.

"Maybe if you spelled it out for me, I would have. But you're too pussy to ever say what you mean, right?" Needing to hurt but unwilling to put her hands on him, Erza aimed the same cutting look at him. "Is that why Ultear left you? She was sick ofꟷ"

He didn't let her finish. Jellal slanted his mouth over hers because it was that or he feared he would have slapped her. He wanted to. He kept his free hand fisted by his side, just in case. Hearing Ultear's name from her made something nasty toil in his gut.

He didn't expect Erza to respond in kind. Her mouth was as pliant as it had never been, hot and giving. The noises she breathed into him made him thicken painfully in his jeans. At that moment, he hated her. And he wanted to possess her.

That evening, he fucked her like she didn't mean anything. He wasn't gentle and she didn't want him to be. He pushed her on the bed and in exacting movements, rid her of her sweet smelling clothes to join the sweaty ones he'd been wearing under the sun since morning. He pulled her hair, bit her, and in turn, she left long scratches on his skin that would leave painful welts for days. They didn't say many words that night but Jellal made sure that Erza knew she couldn't blame him for another man's cruelties.

The morning Jellal woke up with a head pounding from a slew of bad sleeps, Erza was by the foot of his bed putting her underwear back on. Her hair was in a messy knot and there were marks all over her body. She looked like regret, like bitterness; she looked like what shame felt like.

She heard him shift on the bed and sat by his head when she saw he was awake. She'd hoped to make a quiet escape.

"I'm sorry about last night."

"What are you sorry for?" He wanted to hear her say it. He wanted to know if she actually knew what she was apologizing for. Erza often said sorry just to tide his anger over.

"Everything." She said. And Jellal knew that translated to no, I don't know why your panties are in a twist again.

He sighed and just barely resisted rolling his eyes. "Just leave, Erza."

"Yes. Soon. I'm sorry we don't get along. And that these days, it's hard to. I wish this never happened. I liked being your friend." Erza had that sad look in her eyes that Jellal remembered hating seeing. He'd once felt so strongly about never wanting to see anything but a happy glint in them. What happened now, that he couldn't care less, that he thought she deserved to look so down?

"Yeah, well, it takes two to tango. We both should have known better."

"I feel sorry anyway."

"What are you trying to say, Erza?" He hated her little word games. Jellal was never in the mood for them but right now, it was especially unwanted. "Like, really. You're too old to be speaking so vaguely with a guy that you fucked until midmorning."

Erza looked irritated for a blink. She hated how crudely he spoke sometimes. "Things aren't playing out the way I thought they would."

"And what version of events did you have in mind?"

"That I fall in love with you." The twist on her lips was too wry to be a smile. "That we'd save each other from loneliness. And that's silly, isn't it? I think that coming out of this just made me despise you. You're not even trying. You're just having sex with me and being sarcastic when I want comfort."

Jellal almost said: That's not my job. You can't expect someone to fix your life up for you. You don't lose one man and replace him with another. Instead, he said, "So is that it? Is this goodbye, then?"

"I don't know. All I know is that I don't want to see you right now."

Ah. He was quite familiar with the Erza that couldn't commit to a feeling. "I imagine that would be easier if you got out of my house." Jellal shifted onto his back, stuffing a pillow under his head and debating whether he should wait for Erza to leave before he reached for the cigarettes in his night stand or do it now.

Erza forewent a reply. She resumed clothing with an efficiency Jellal appreciated since the air was getting rapidly heavier. He could sense her hesitating by the door of his bedroom but didn't bother looking. In the end, she left without another word and he listened for her steps down the carpeted stairs, then the closing of his front door.

[barbecuedphoenix]

I have a feeling that Valkyon doesn't know very well how attractive he is... Like when he was so surprised when Gardienne told he is cute, or when he said he is not interesting. Do you think it too? How do you think it would be if Gardienne was first in love with Nevra, and later fall madly in love for him? (Sorry, English isn't my first language...)

*sneaks into Tumblr* .> ||

…I really shouldn’t be herethis week. But a lucky break at work today gave me a couple of hours to finishthis piece.

Anyway, dear Anon., Valkyonis a cutie precisely because he’soblivious to his own charms. That, and he always carries an 80% chance ofshooting himself in the foot whenever someone asks him out for a drink.

Example. *throws themanuscript to the ground and bolts*  

To Serve and Protect 

It had been a cold Yule and the coming yeardidn’t look like an improvement.

Already, the streets were frozen from twoback-to-back bouts of chill rain that chose exactly the wrong month to fall onEl, their brief career ending in a slick double layer of ice over cobblestoneand brick, marbling the tessellated roads like candy glaze. Sweet enough toresult in seventeen accidents so far from the citizenry: two-legged,four-legged, and on wheels. Next year would be seeing a lot of people withodd-numbered legs.

Valkyon would know. His people had to haul awayall the injured and the worse off this week, including themselves. In fact, hewas taking care of Accident Number Seventeen right now.

“Does your ankle still hurt?” theObsidian Guard commander asked the woman he was carrying, now wrapped double inhis arms.

“Not really. I can’t feel muchanymore,” his corporal replied. From inside the folds of his cloak, sheexperimentally wagged her ankle, wrapped in a soggy, makeshift splint mademostly out of Valkyon’s hat, her scarf, firewood, and several handfuls of freshice that he broke from the road outside the tavern. She didn’t so much asflinch.

“Good. Because it won’t be easy gettingover that last wall.”

The Guardian twisted and peeked over hershoulder at the construct in question looming out of the gloom: a pale,man-high stone wall, about as battered by the freezing rain as the street thattook her ankle. With no doorway to speak of, from where they were coming from.Her face sagged. “…Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to sneak back through thegardens.”

“You were concerned though about runninginto Nevra at the foyer,” Valkyon reminded her.

He meant no offense—he rarely did whenrefreshing someone’s memory— but her face promptly turned a shade darker,visible even in the deep shadows of HQ’s honeyfruit orchard, where the blackbranches split apart the cold stars overhead like webs of cracks in the sky.

Biting his tongue, Valkyon’s eyes flickered awayfrom her expression, and fell on one spot on the wall ahead. Soon he added,more carefully, “Though I didn’t say it would be impossible toget past that wall. Just not easy. Can I put you down for a moment?”

Four quick knots later, they had a working fullbody sling from his cloak: big enough to carry a grown woman with a bad ankleon his back. Frankly, his friend didn’t look thrilled when he explained thatshe would be sitting knees-up in the sling, like a baby satchel sized up abouttwelve times, but she made no protest once he swung her onto his back andtightened the cloak’s knots around his shoulders. She had packed on some muscleover the last two years, but with her back pressing snug against his, her heelsswinging gently in the air somewhere above his kidneys, he barely felt theweight.

With a practiced eye, Valkyon found the sectionof the wall shot through with tendrils of dead ivy nearly as thick as hiswrist. One bout of overdue weeding finally exposed the fractured stonework. Hewent on to ruin it further by kicking at the largest crack he could find withthe sharp steel toe of his winter boot, about two feet above the ground.

“I don’t know what you’re doingthere,” came the voice from his back, in between the clanks of steelversus stone. “But it sounds expensive.”

In answer, the slate block gave way in twopieces on the ground, and a newborn step gaped in the open air. Perfectly dry.

“No more than it’ll take to repair the restof the wall,” Valkyon remarked with a wry smile at his footwork.“Which they were supposed to do this summer. Besides, I’m helping yousneak in, aren’t I?”

Whatever the Guardian had to say was lost whenhe put one boot onto the makeshift step, reached up, found the top of the stonewall with his hands, and pulled them both up with barely a grunt. Instead,there was a soft squeak from his back as they suddenly gained an extra sevenfeet in altitude from the black ground. Then again when he brought his legsover the wall and leapt clear into the last of the gardens, thestomach-lurching distance rushing back to greet them in reverse. Triumph camewith a massive, wet-sounding crunch that rattled them both to the teeth.

Valkyon, for the most part, was just glad thathe missed the wooden stakes that once supported the luminescent squash, and thefrozen Crowmero still stuck there, instead landing ankle- and wrist-deep in thefrozen mud just a hair next to them.

“Are you all right?”, he whispered,shaking the mud off his hands and wiping the splatter of slush off his cheek.

“… …Yes,” came the little voice frombehind his head, eventually. “Nice work. But let’s not do that again. I’mnot of fan of jumping down heights I can’t see. Especially not after a tavernrun.”

“Fair enough,” Valkyon smiled in thedark. He shrugged one arm out of the makeshift sling, and with a few deft turnsbrought the Guardian back against his chest. “Is this better?” heasked, locking his arms around her again.

For some reason, she looked up at him, colored,and made a strange coughing sound in her throat.

He frowned. “We better get you out of thecold. You had plenty to drink earlier.”

“You’re one to talk: I downed two pintsless than you,” she snorted as Valkyon crossed the length of the darkvegetable garden, sticking to the nigh-invisible dirt path that wound throughthe dormant squash beds to the backdoor of the kitchen. The snapping andcrunching of half-frozen ground informed him that he was on the right course,more or less.

“That was enough to try a rain dance on thesidewalk, wasn’t it?” he smiled back at his smuggled cargo.

The cargo in question answered with a scowl, aflush, and a quick turn of her head to the direction of the kitchens. “Itwasn’t a rain dance,” she muttered into her shoulder. “Not until thekids started asking, at least. They were a good audience though.”

“You are an excellentdancer,” he agreed mildly. When she didn’t say anything else, Valkyon letthe matter drop and treated himself to a full re-enactment in his mind’s eye.Humans were a funny race. The ceremony must be special all right, if itstraditional dance involved bouncing a sword off the tips of the boots andswinging around a lamp-post. The Guardian had finally slipped when she tried tokick an icicle. The kids all agreed that it was pretty spectacular.

How did that verse go again? Something aboutsinging in the—

“Is Karuto still awake?”

Valkyon snapped out of his reverie at theworried note to her voice and squinted at the light shining through the kitchenwindow ahead. Then he frowned as well. “He must have left the fire in thegrate. But either way, that’s our only way into the fort from here.” Quickas a thought, his tawny eyes glanced down at the Guardian and saw herexpression pinch under the warm amber glow from the window. “It’ll befine,” he added as reassuringly as he could, stepping onto the porch.“I don’t hear anything from inside.”

Still, he cautiously eased open the kitchen’sbackdoor with the toe of his boot. And was rewarded with the sight of the oldsatyr dressed in only a padded bathrobe, reading a book with his stout hoovespropped up on the corner of the counter. Parted, and pointing in theirdirection.

Fortunately, Valkyon learnt long ago that therewas nothing embarrassing about the physical body. Unfortunately, the Guardianseemed to have been taught differently. She glanced once into the fire-litkitchen, winced immediately, and shielded her eyes with her hand.

Karuto glanced up over the book he was reading,and his craggy expression fell from profound shock to embarrassment to the sourrighteousness of an old man interrupted in his private time in the space of onepoint five seconds.

“What are you two idiots doing in my kitchen?!”he bellowed from the counter, quickly swinging his hooves back to the floor andtightening his bathrobe around his hips. In one fluid movement, he snapped thebook shut and tucked it under his arm.

“Just getting out of the cold,”Valkyon replied with as straight a face as he could muster. He could outstare alive dragon if he wanted, but here he knew that he had reached the limit of hiscreative fibs.

Thankfully, the Guardian spoke up for them.“I twisted my ankle on the street walking back, and I just didn’t want towake anyone else at this hour. Sorry for walking in like this.”

The satyr puffed rudely through his nostrils,but his eyebrows had rearranged themselves into a tamer glower. “What doyou think this place is? The backdoor for hook-ups?”

His corporal flushed to the approximate color ofbeetroot, but Karuto didn’t wait for an answer; he gestured one-handed to thefront door of the kitchen, his book still tucked under one hammy arm.“Well I don’t care what you two do in your off-time. Just don’t bring itinto my kitchen without knocking!” Then he glared evilly at Valkyon’sboots, crusted to the tops with winter mud, steel spikes already sinking intothe floorboards. “And take your filthy rock-splitters with you!”

“All right, then.” Valkyon saidsimply, crossing the pantry as lightly as an armored man of six-foot-two couldwith a lady-friend in his arms. He waited until he was halfway out the doorbefore shooting back over his shoulder, “That’s a good book, by the way.Ykhar told me that it’s really steamy.”

The door shut before the first volley ofexpletives could follow them into the hall.

“What an ass…” the Guardian scowledinto her chest, arms folded tightly enough to bunch her shoulders up.

“It looked like he was really enjoying thatbook though,” her captain remarked, still smiling faintly to himself.

He meant that as another joke, but the Guardiankept her moody silence as they crossed the deserted foyer and down the corridorleading to the officer’s barracks, the floor lit clearly by the cold moonlightslipping through the high windows and the coruscating glass skylight at theapex of the ceiling.

The fort slept on as they made their way downthe barracks, his footsteps barely muffled by the threadbare crimson carpet.They stopped before a plain door near the end of the hall, still undecoratedafter two years. The Guardian fished out her keys from her coat and leaned outof Valkyon’s arms to unlock the door.

“Keep an eye out. Please, Valk.”

He blinked at the note of desperation in hervoice. Something was definitely wrong. But he duly peered left and right,seeing no curious faces popping out of the doors to stare their way.“Nothing. We’re clear.”

The Guardian decided not to answer and turnedthe catch, then the handle. At the answering click, Valkyon pivoted sidewaysand smoothly stepped inside when the door swung open, the blackness beyond litby the lambent light from a handful of bronze oil lamps. He shut the door againwith a neat kick from the back of his boot, hoping that when morning arrived,she wouldn’t notice the likely dent at the base.

Nestled in his arms, the Guardian sighed, allthe tension of the past hour leaving her body in one long, liquid breath thatleft a knot in his stomach.

He needed to say something to make her feelbetter, on a night like this.

“Even though it didn’t end like we planned,I really did enjoy that drink,” he confessed quietly as he stooped downand laid her gently onto the bed. “It’s nice to be able to see the townwith a friend.”

She kept her face turned away from him, and herusual smile far inside. “Karuto’s little joke didn’t bother you?”

“I reckon it’s less to do with us and moreabout the chapter he reached when we dropped in.”

Finally, a little twitch escaped from the cornerof her lips. The Guardian sat up straighter on the bed, propping herself upwith her hands, gingerly curling her legs to the side like a siren. When hereyes lingered resolutely at the level of his chin, Valkyon sat down on the bednext to her, elbows resting on knees, so that she no longer had to look at himstraight in the eye. Her shoulders relaxed infinitesimally, though her handcontinued to crumple the wine-colored satin sheets. He just waited.

It was often like this with them: the reading ofminute movements; a little gesture, timed just right, to calm the other andgive space to breathe; a tacit, patient silence in place of invitation orquestion. They never needed to speak to let each other know that they cared.

“What he said bothers me, because I know Ishouldn’t be spending time with you like this.”

Though sometimes, all the body languageexpertise in the world couldn’t predict what would fall from a friend’s mouth.Valkyon’s snowy eyebrows arched high. “Why should this be a problem? We’veknown each other for two years now. It’s not a stretch to act like goodfriends.”

“Too good,” she cut himoff shortly, still staring down at the bed. Suddenly, in the silence, eventhough her expression hadn’t moved, she looked ready to cry.

He quickly laid his hand over hers, enclosingher fingers in the warm span of his own. “There is nothing that I haveever regretted doing for you. Not tonight. Not any time since. Don’t ever thinkyourself unworthy. As I see it, nothing can be further from the truth.”

Her head shot up and her eyes finally caughthis. “Well what if I told you that I loved you?”

Silence never rang louder in his ears.

After some moments, Valkyon tried to swallow,but it seemed that what moisture remained in his throat was transmuted intoglue in the space of ten words. The body knew some cruel alchemy.

What was there to be said, when a woman yourfriend said he was in love with turned around and flung those same words atyou?

She was right about one thing. He reallyshouldn’t be here.

The bed groaned as Valkyon shot to his feet.“You could use some sleep,” he said mechanically, locking hisexpression into the epitome of a stone wall. Anything more was… not going tohelp this situation. “You’ll feel better in the morning. I’ll bring somewillow bark tea from Ewelein and a new splint to–”

Her face crumpled like a violet at the firstbite of winter. But her voice when it came, was furious. “You really thinkI said all that because I'm drunk?!” She started laughing,soundlessly. “Good god, you think I'm…! Have you ever looked atyourself in a mirror, Valkyon? For more than two seconds? Do you ever look atthe other tables in the mess when you walk by?”

His ears were burning like live coals now.“That’s irrelevant,” he snapped back, shutting his mind to moreimages along that vein. “The point is that you’re asking for something Ican’t-” But his tongue failed him right before it shaped those last,crucial words.

His mistake was that he chose to look right ather at that very moment. And saw just how wide her eyes had opened. Enough tosee the new shine to them, obvious and fierce even under the smoky light of theoil lamps.

Valkyon knew, beyond the shadow of the doubt,what he needed to do tonight as a friend. But when his mind was flying asstraight as an arrow to its destination, his heart lagged behind, anchored tothis pregnant silence between him and the woman who earned more than just thename of comrade in the last year.

He shouldn’t have looked at her at all at thatmoment.

With an effort, Valkyon shut his eyes andunclenched his jaw, then the muscles of his neck, upper back, and shoulders,knot-by-knot, counting down the seconds in his mind until he felt the rictus ofpanic lift from his body. When he spoke again, his voice was soft, low, andweighed with stone, as though the mere sound of his murmur could wake the floorto what was happening here. He was half-afraid that it would.

“Nevra’s a good man. And with you, Ibelieve he’s showing himself to be an admirable one. Don’t give up on him. Whatyou both share is… rare enough that it deserves to be protected. Take it fromme.”

“Have you tried datinghim?” she quipped tiredly, with none of the same reserve rooting him towhere he was on the floor. Her face remained mercifully dry as she curled herinjured leg tighter against herself, fingers fiddling with the slush-stainedfold of her trousers. “I’ve been telling myself that for the last threemonths, but… there are many kinds of good men out there. Not just the one. Andif they’re still not a good fit after a year, then… that’s something no oneneeds to be afraid to admit.”

He was getting the uncanny feeling that they hadarrived at uncharted territory. And it deserved to remain that way, from wherehe stood. With one foot already on the wrong side of the fence. “Thismight be something he needs to hear from you,” Valkyon attempted.

“And he never lets go ofan argument easily,” the Guardian cut in, throwing up one hand, butwithout much conviction. She looked too drained. “He’ll try to work aroundit. Plant a Beriflore trap by asking me what I mean by another kind of ‘goodman’. What if I tell him that I don’t want someone who’ll wave me aside or dishout orders when trouble hits, but will just stand nearby and let me take careof myself for a change, until I do ask him for help? What if I tell him I’mtired of snappy wit and mind-games? That I prefer someone who’ll give hishonest opinions and feelings as they are, with no other motive but to just layout the facts and confirm that yes, he heard me? Not every conversation needsto be a duel, or some kind of… courtship dance! And think about what Nev willsay if I tell him I want someone who can appreciate the little gestures—likeholding hands—without joking about it, or trying to top it until it snowballsinto something bigger. That I respect a man who doesn’t put himself at the axisof the world—much less my world—even as a joke. Someone who,no matter how skilled he is, can step aside and let others take their shots,then congratulate them when they do succeed, no matter how small.”

Just moments ago, his ears felt like they hadbeen pulled fresh from a fire. Now, they were probably cinder.

She turned those red-rimmed eyes to him again.“He’ll say that he’s hurt that I can’t accept him as he is. That I’ve beenreading too many romances. That I’m reaching too far. When I can see, plain asday, that I’m not.”

His corporal was right when she guessed that henever tried inspecting himself in the mirror; that each day he would walkacross the mess without trying to make extra eye contact with the femalerecruits. Because there was the ever-present question of: why bother?

Over the last several years, Valkyon recognizedthat there were two general reactions whenever he opened his mouth for astranger: they would flinch, as though they were one wrong word away from gettingan axe to the neck, or they would stare like he was an exotic new import forthe menagerie. Sometimes, to shake things up, they would laugh at a gesturehe’d made, which later queries would show was completely inappropriate for thesituation.

The problem was never the people he chose totalk to. It was himself. Unknown, borderline-dangerous, inscrutable, unsmiling,unsocial, blunt, out-of-place; these were the words he overheard others usewhen talking about him, and he still couldn’t deny them. He was no charmer.Some days, he returned the sentiment and barely understood the people he spoketo.

But what sealed his decision to keep his headdown every time he crossed the mess was that, after all these years, even aftertaking the helm of the Obsidian Guard and earning the—at least pro forma– trustof this city, he never fitted in once the bell rang to relieve him from hispost. When others recounted the day’s highlights and pitfalls, he had virtuallynone to add from his corner of the table. When they swapped stories from theirhometowns, gossiped about mutual friends, traded in-jokes, bickered overpolitics, argued over the finer nuances of art and shared hobbies, he couldonly keep his silence.

He had started too young in the field of war,and spent too long in it to learn to be anything else. What could he say abouthimself to reel in someone’s interest? Or keep it?

So if the call was sent out for an attractiveman, Valkyon would recommend one or two of his colleagues. He made his peacelong ago with the fact that he wasn’t in the running for 'El’s most eligiblebachelor’. And if there was a woman who could appreciate his company, he wouldnever dare ask for more than her friendship. Because what else could he offerin return?

Apparently, more than he knew. Based on what hewas hearing now from his corporal.

Under those eyes, Valkyon felt his jaw lock onceagain, the pulse hammering in his throat as his stomach contracted and sent awave of heat smoldering across his skin up to his hairline. The seams of hisheart stretched taut. Now, he was the one who couldn’t meet her gaze. The soundof her breathing filled the dark.

What was strange about love was how contagiousit was. Just moments ago, he saw a dear friend with a leaden heart he needed tounburden. Now, in the space of ten critical words, in the span of one argumentthat shook down the doors holding back a season’s worth of hurt and longing, hesaw someone else in her place.

If it wasn’t for that tiny, telltale scar on theside of her neck, he would have joined her there on the bed and sated hiscuriosities. About the taste of her mouth, the fit of her curves against him,the warmth of her breath against his neck, the feel of her hard-won laughterreverberating through his chest as she lay with him, hair, fingers, limbs,hopes intertwined.

But there were some battles that he couldn’tafford to join.

“…I am so sorry,” he heard his voicebreak the murk. “But you know that I can’t stay any longer. If there’sanyone who needs to hear this, it’s him. And you should be able to do it. Goodnight. And look after yourself.”

With that, he turned away from the woman on thebed and walked out the door. Even when he heard that hitch of breath, thewhisper of sheets over sheets, the hurried creaking of the mattress, he didn’tdare to turn around.

In all his years alone, Valkyon held onto onetruth: no matter what others chose to see in him, he knew he was made to be aprotector. It didn’t matter then if he returned each night to an empty bed, ifhe was the only one who knew what his laughter sounded like. The happiness ofthose he looked after became his happiness.

Tonight, of all nights, he needed to convincehimself of that.

FIN

>_> || _> *sneaks back in to scribble a note*

This blog needs to start anew mission: the “Save Valkyon!” project.

To join the cause, just typein the keywords ‘Valkyon’ and ‘fluff’ in the ask box.

This is Barbed-Phoenix,signing off until Friday. So long, my lovelies.  

*runs again* 

[ivinabrooks]

Time Travel & The Force - Five Hargreeves

EPISODE 0010

[MASTERLIST]

𝐭 𝐢 𝐦 𝐞  𝐭 𝐫 𝐚 𝐯 𝐞 𝐥  &  𝐭 𝐡 𝐞  𝐟 𝐨 𝐫 𝐜 𝐞

—

       Eight knew right away that her sister was hurting. From the smallest memories when they were younger, Eight would have the visions of Vanya. Not having powers, but her yes white staring as if they'd been hurt. This was a scary time for Eight. She didn't know what it meant, but in fear of it being real, she kept it to herself. Rather than detaching herself from Vanya, she became closer to the girl.

The very thing that Reginald Hargreeves tried to prevent. The mixture of the girls who could end life as they knew it.

Eight snuck out of her own room to speak with Vanya when no one was around. They played as loud as they could, thankful for Eight's powers. Vanya played her the violin beautifully every time, and Eight couldn't be prouder to have her as a sister. She even took up a few lessons with the girl before things went to shit.

Reginald sent Eight on more missions to keep the two apart, but Eight whenever she had the time sat down with the girl despite the yelling that she would get from doing so. But all those were the only memories left of Eight and Five to Vanya.

After the two had disappeared and were pronounced dead, Vanya had no one. No one to talk to. Congratulate her. To calm her. To call her a good sister. She missed Eight.

"I need to go," Eight gasped, getting up shakily.

James and Ella looked at each other sadly knowing it was time. The little blonde boy walked over and hugged his mother for the last time. Both hugging each other tightly. Ella joined the hug and smiled.

"Go save the world kiddo," Ella said, pulling away.

James pulled away slightly and smiled at his mother, "Tell dad I said hi, and that I love him."

Eight put down her son and nodded, "I will," she said pausing, "I love you both so much."

Ella now holding James nodded, "We know. Now go."

Eight closed her eyes and as she opened then she began coughing. Her hands pushed all around her but couldn't move. Frustrated, she blasted her surroundings with her newfound powers. As the rubble moved away from her. She got up and looked around.

"God..." she gasped looking at the demolished building that was the Academy. She knew who had the power to destroy this place.

"What the fuck did they do to her," Eight grumbled climbing off the ruble and away from the mansion. Walking along the sidewalk she found a newspaper on the floor. It was the exact headline as the original paper. The Apocalypse was still happening.

Closing her eyes she used her powers to locate any of her siblings, that's when she found their thoughts not too far from here.

Super Star Lanes. She said and then quickly opened up a portal to the place. Looking up she walked in the doors and asked for some bowling shoes.

The front desk person looked her up and down as she looked dusty and shrugged, "What size?"

"Six," Eight replied as she was then handed her shoes.

Then she walked over to her family and slumped down next to Five as she removed her boots and put on the bowling shoes.

Everyone was quiet, and Klaus was shaky, "Do you all see her?"

The siblings looked at her covered in dust and looked at her tying the shoes.

"Thanks for leaving me at the house guys," She grumbled, crossing her arms around her chest.

"We thought you were dead, Vanya took down the entire Academy, and we couldn't open the door," Luther said leaning forward.

Eight stood up and punched Luther in the face, "You're a fucking idiot you know that? Why would you lock Vanya down there?"

"Ow!" Luther exclaimed grabbing his nose, "She has—"

"Yeah I knew a long time ago, King Kong," Eight seethed leaning forward to look at Luther, "Now why did you lock her?"

"She was a danger to all of us!" Luther said.

"Did you even attempt to maybe calm her down? Offer to help her?" Eight questioned.

"No...I didn't think—" Luther began but Eight interrupted.

"You never think, you babbling monkey!" Eight exclaimed and slumped down on the chair next to Five.

Weary Luther looked around to his siblings, "Look, I hate to be the one to say this, but everyone needs to prepare," He said.

"For what?" Diego asked defensively.

"To do whatever it takes to stop Vanya," He replied just as quickly.

Eight got up suddenly ready to attack the large man, but Five grabbed her wrist pulling her to sit back down. Allison was lucky enough to smack him with her notepad. Eight didn't have to ask anyone to know what happened to Allison.

"We may not have a choice Allison," Luther said, looking at the woman.

"Bullshit," said Diego, "There are always options."

"Yeah, like what?" Five finally spoke up.

"I don't know," Diego said, responding.

Luther got up, "Look, whatever we decide, we need to find Vanya and fast she could be anywhere," he told his siblings.

"Or....here," said Klaus motioning the newspaper in his hands and leaning forwards so they all could see.

"That's right. Her concert is tonight," Diego mentioned.

"Hello," A woman wearing a blue polo popped up, "I have to intrude, but my manager says if you're not gonna bowl, you gotta leave," she said and walked away.

"Who's turn is it?" Diego asked.

Eight got up from her seat and looked over at the chubby man at the counter, she grabbed a bright pink ball and lifted it over her head and threw it angrily. As the ball landed, it bounced its way to a different lane granting her a strike elsewhere. The blonde huffed and glared at the old man, then sitting back down next to Five.

Allison began writing in her notepad and looked at her siblings, 'She's our sister.'

"Allison is right Luther," Eight said as she had seen the woman writing.

"We're the only ones capable of stopping this. We have a responsibility to Dad," Luther said to his siblings.

"To dad? No, I've heard enough about—" Diego began loudly.

"—He sacrificed everything to bring us back together," Luther finished.

"I'm with Luther on this one," Five said, looking at the man, "We can't give a chance to fight back. There are billions of lives at stake. We're past trying to save one."

Eight glared at her husband, "We're not winning by killing her Five. I'm with Diego."

"Hey, guys maybe I can help," Klaus offered to his siblings.

"Now is not the time," Luther told the Séance.

"No, let him finish," Diego interjected, "He saved my life today."

"Really?" Five and Eight chorused.

"Is that true?" Luther asked.

Everyone is now staring at Klaus.

"Yeah, Yeah, I did take credit for it," He forced out looking around and then to Eight who probably would be the one one to believe him, "In fact, the real hero....was Ben."

Everyone looked at him a bit weird including the blonde.

"Darling explain yourself what?" Eight said.

"Today, he punched me in the face. And earlier at the house, he was the one who saved Diego's life, not me."

"You are unbelievable, Klaus," Luther said, a bit shocked as to where his lie would go.

Eight and Five looked at each other and shrugged.

"Alright I'll give you proof," He said, picking up a bowling ball, "All right, it's showtime, baby," He said looking over Five's shoulder to where Ben is supposed to me.

But nothing happened, the ball bounced straight onto the floor.

"Is there a way to silence that screams out to be the center of attention?" Luther said angrily.

"Hey don't talk to him like that," Eight said towards Luther, "I believe you, Klaus, just next time try not to fail."

"You know I liked you a lot better before you got laid," Klaus said equally as mad.

Eight choked on her spit, "You were a virgin?" The girl laughed loudly, slapping her hand on Five's thigh. The boy jumped from the action.

Klaus realized his mistake and looked at Allison who looked up with wide eyes, "It wasn't his fault, he was ridiculously high, right? And the girl thought he was a furry." He tried saving.

Eight threw her head back in laugher, "A furry! Aha, this is the greatest thing!" she giggles wiping away fake tears.

Allison looked at Luther and took her notepad and walked away, "Allison, wait," Luther called after her, as he followed her.

The blonde continued to giggle as the two left hurriedly.

"Excuse me, it's my son Kenny's birthday today, wouldn't your son and daughter be happier playing with kids their own age?" A large plump woman walked over with her son, "Assuming it's okay with your two dads."

Five and Eight looked at each other, and then back at the woman.

"I would rather chew off my own foot," Five seethed at the woman.

Eight slapped her left hand over her mouth, and giggled, "Sorry about my husband, you and your potato child may leave now," the blonde stated with a large smile, her dimple showing.

The smile on the woman's face fell and looked at the duo's hands. And indeed the two bands were on their left ring finger, "Husband?" She whispered oddly and took her son away from the weirdos. As they left, Five and Eight heard the familiar swoosh from near them.

The two got up and ran towards a different bowling alley, "How the hell did she find me?" Five asked to grab the container.

"The stupid candy," Eight said, "Told you not to trust dessert anymore," she finished.

Five quickly handed the container to Eight and searched his pocket, and indeed the tracker beeped.

"She's good," he said before dropping it and stepping on it.

Eight rolled her eyes and opened the container taking out a fortune cookie, and cracking it open, "Time marches on...or does it? Rain Quail, Rm 12..." Eight read aloud as she looked at him and dropped the paper in his hand, "You go, I'll make sure these idiots don't die."

Five gripped the paper and nodded, "Stay safe okay?"

Eight nodded and leaned in and kissed his cheek, "You come back to me in one piece okay?"

Five nodded and turned and disappeared, leaving her to bowl with her siblings.

Walking back she was met with Diego's gaze, "Where's Five?" He questioned.

"Away for the time being," she replied, picking up a ball and walking up and pushing the ball forward. Strike.

After many, many, strikes, Luther and Allison returned.

"Where's Five?" He asked the blonde.

"Gone," she replied simply knowing their small brains wouldn't get the type of work they do.

"Oh for the love of..." Luther began.

"I don't know, now get to you speech moon boy," Eight said not interested in a long speech.

"We go to the Icarus Theatre," Luther said simply.

Eight rose her eyebrow, "Great leadership Number One," she said scoffing as she shoved popcorn in her mouth.

"That's a location, not a plan," Diego added but Luther remained silent, "What is that all you got? Look, you wanna be Number One, fine, but you're gonna have to get us on the same page, Because right now we're all over the place."

"You're right we need a plan," said Luther but was shushed by Eight who got Spidey-feeling.

"Take cover!" Was all she said when she shoved Diego out of the way as bullets began to rain on them.

"Who the hell are these guys!" Diego yelled as he now held Eight from getting hit by any bullets.

"Maybe they're here for Kenny's birthday!" Klaus said.

"No, you idiots! The Commission sent them," She yelled from under Diego's arms, "We need to get out of here!"

Diego quickly let of Eight and stood up shooting a knife at one of the men. Seems they hit the sound and light system as they fell. The building fell into a lot of glowing lights with Saturday Night blasting in the speakers.

"Diego give me one of your knives!"Eight yelled over the noise.

Without hesitation, he did as told and watched her fling it using her telekinesis, and hit her target, and just as it did she pulled it out and watched it soar to a new body.

Diego and Eight looked around for a way out but noticed the exit was blocked.

"Number One what's your plan!" Eight yelled as she huddled with Diego.

"The lanes! Let's go!" Luther yelled.

Diego grabbed Eight's hand as they sprinted down the lanes, and quickly slipped past the pins to the door in the back. The siblings were luckily able to get away.

As they reached the outside, Eight opened a portal, for her siblings.

"Well go on, we don't have all day," Eight said as his siblings looked at the portal suspiciously. The blonde groaned and enlarged the portal and moved it towards them, thus forcing them to step through. Now they all stood before the Icarus Theatre. And walked up the steps, but Allison but up her notepad and faced it towards her siblings, 'I need to go alone.'

"Allison, I can't let you do that, all right?" Luther said to her.

Eight nodded, "For once I agree with Boots here, we're in all this together. The more we wait the worse it'll be," she finished and walked forward to Diego who looked back at his siblings.

"You hear the music? It started," Diego told Luther.

"Do you honestly think she's gonna listen? After everything that's happened?" Luther asked suspiciously to make it look bad.

"Luther to you maybe not, but Allison and I have a chance here," Eight added, pulling Diego, but he pulled her back and let Allison go.

"Diego—" she was cut off by his hand and looked over at Luther.

"You're using her as a distraction aren't you?" Diego asked his brother as he watched Allison leave.

"Our best chance to incapacitate Vanya," Luther confirmed, "She'll thank us later."

Diego pulled Eight ahead as Luther stayed behind to talk to Klaus.

The duo spits up as Eight walked far behind Allison in case of anything, Eight stood in shock. She played so well....it was like the rehearsals in her room late in the night. The music played so profoundly, it felt alive, just like Vanya looked.

Out of nowhere Diego and Luther began running to the girl and Eight gasped, not agreeing to this plan. That's why Diego made her go the other way. But before either of them could touch her, Vanya stood and waved her bow sending a sound wave at the two. Making the duo soar through the air and landing forcefully. The crowd, shocked, got up from their seats and began running out of the auditorium. The musicians too got up, but another wave of her bow made them sit back down as she began to play her violin, this time stepping forward as she began to glow. Angrily she threw another wave at the brothers.

Eight stood still watching it all happen, she was shoved as the civilians ran out screaming. This wasn't the Vanya that she knew. Carefully she hid behind one of the chairs not knowing where her other siblings were.

All of a sudden there was the same Commission men running in, begging to shoot at the spotted siblings. This made the rest of the orchestra leave frantically, not to get shot. But Vanya kept on playing just as she continued to glow a pale blue-white.

Her blue eyes moved to her siblings that were hidden, looking around. But somehow she couldn't hear anything. Her breathing began to get ragged. Eight was having a panic attack. Far away she could hear bullets be shot again. This time someone gripped her face to look at them. It was Five, and it looked like he was talking to her, but she couldn't hear him. All she could see was his lips moving. Eight looked around and saw men continue to shoot at them. Suddenly she remembered something.

"Klaus," Eight said suddenly, removing herself from Five's hands. Getting up she walked out from her hiding spot. The men shot at her, and multiple voices screamed out for her. But no bullet hit her as they all disintegrated to dust before touching her.

"What the fuck?" Diego yelled seeing the blonde walk over to Klaus without being injured.

The man walked in and was targeted by the bullets, but was saved when Eight reached for him.

"Klaus I read your mind, dad was right about your potential," she told him, "If Ben really did punch you and saved Diego. He might be able to save us all, with your help," Eight encouraged.

Ben looked at Klaus and then at Eight, "Told you she believed in you," he laughed.

Klaus nodded and clenched his fist as they began to glow a bright hue of blue. His face showed struggle as he began to get up from the ground.

Eight smiled at his brother, she knew he had in him, he just held himself back all these years. Slowly Ben's body appeared growling a similar blue to Klaus' fists.

"Ben," Eight whispered happily, seeing her lost sibling.

Ben's ghost looked over at her and smiled, then yelling, releasing the beast. Grabbing all the gunmen above and near them. Either taking them or ripping them apart to their fatal end.

"How's the lookout?" Klaus asked as the men were finally killed, he looked over at Eight who was hunched on the floor and hugged her tight, "Thanks for believing in me."

Five rushed over to his wife who was in the middle aisle looking terrible. She was sweating, and he could feel the waves of heat coming off her body.

"Love, look at me, you have to help us," Five said gripping her face who was breathing hard.

Eight nodded weakly, and lifted her hands to his face, and pulled him into a kiss. Five was surprised but did not pull away. Rather he embraced her and kissed her harder. It was their first kiss in a very long time. The kiss was loving and tender. Her lips were soft just like he remembered. Still having the faint taste of strawberries for some reason.

Five pulled away breathing hard, "I thought you didn't want to kiss me when I looked like this," he chuckled as their foreheads touched.

"James told me to tell you, that he loves you," she said, pecking his lips once more, but this time pulling away completely.

Five's eyes widened, "You saw James?" he asked sadly, and the blonde nodded sadly.

"He's with my mother, in the house we used to live in," She said with a smile. Her husband just smiled in knowing his little boy was okay, wherever in the afterlife.

The two looked back at Vanya as her suit began to change to a brilliant white, just as the building began to shake and crack under the pressure she was creating.

Everyone huddled around each other, just as Diego got back.

"Hey, where were you?" Luther asked sarcastically.

"Honoring a memory," Diego replied back as he gave Five a look, "So, how do you wanna end this thing?"

"We surround her," Luther yelled, "Alright? We come at her from all angles," He told his siblings.

Five gripped his wife's hand knowing what was about to happen.

"So, a suicide mission," Klaus asked.

"Yeah, but one of us could get through. It's the only chance we got," Five said looking directly at Eight.

The blonde took a shaky breath, and squeezed his hand, "We all in?" she asked her siblings who all nodded.

"Yeah," they all nodded, as the building around them shook.

"Spread out, I'll take the dead center," Eight replied as her siblings took off. And Five released her hand.

Eight turned around and slowly walked up the aisle, she knew the warnings her father wrote were probably right, but right now she was the only one that could face Vanya's powers. The building dropped dust from the cracks the building created.

Her husband and siblings ran towards her, but like she knew was going to happen they were caught by her power.

Eight took a deep breath and let her powers go. Her hair and the rest of her body glowing a fiery golden. She levitated in the air, and just as if there was an invisible platform she began walking towards her sister.

"Vanya, let them go," Eight said as she walked past her sister's barrier.

The White Violin was confused as to how this was happening. She had easily broken past her barriers with her fire.

"Don't make me fight you," Eight threatened but she didn't listen.

The blonde walked closer her feet now on the stage, tears blurred her eyes as her hands now glowed bright orange and purple. Her power began to surround the two, orange, gold, red, and bits of purple swirled around them.

"We can help you if you let us," she told her now in front of her.

Vanya's bright light dropped her siblings as the power of Eight grew hotter and hotter. The ring grew small to the point it covered them up completely. And just like that, a large explosion of orange erupted in a ring around the two. Shutting down Vanya's blue-white force.

Gasping the women in white glowed for a moment and her stress and anger exploded in a ray towards the ceiling. Eight's powers quickly shut off as she reached for the falling Vanya, and caught her before she could touch the ground. The other siblings quickly surrounded her, Allison taking Vanya in her arms checking for injuries.

Five gripped his wife in a tight hug, glad that she was okay, "I didn't know you had that much power."

Eighth laughed into his neck, "Our son taught me how to control it," she said, crying just a little, thinking that everything was over.

"Of course that kid taught you," Five chuckled holding the blonde close to him.

The group was silent as they went over what happened in their heads, that was before Klaus said something, "Uh....guys?"

Five and Eight pulled away from their hug and looked up to where he was pointing.

"You see that big Moon rock coming towards us?" he asked his siblings.

The duo stood from the ground and held hands as they did indeed see the flaming rock hurtling towards earth. They didn't stop the apocalypse.

"That's not good," Luther said wide-eyed, also staring at the flying rock.

"So this is it? So much for....saving the world," Klaus said disappointedly looking down at his dog tags.

"If only Sir Reginald could see us now...The Umbrella Academy. A total failure," Diego said standing and staring at their incoming end.

"At least we were together in the end, as a family," Luther said looking around at his siblings.

Eight looked down at their intertwined hands, "Five when I read Father's journals on me he said that usually The Force amplified my powers. My portals would be too dangerous to test, as We'd get stuck in some other universe for all we know. But I can amplify your ability with time-manipulation...." Eight told Five as he was trying to think of anything.

Five looked at her and realized it could be possible. He didn't know if alone he'd be strong enough to take everyone back in time. But with Eight they might have a shot. "Eight's right, this might not have to be the end of this."

Luther looked back at Five, just as all the other siblings did, "What are you two talking about?"

"I think I have a way outta here, but you have to trust me," Five told his siblings.

But the boys all shook their heads, "Uh no thanks," it's not that they didn't trust Five, it's they didn't trust Five.

Eight groaned, "Okay well trust me," she said over to them and they gave each other a look, "Look we don't have long before anything, in less than...." she looked down at her bare wrist and looked up, "a minute we'll be nothing but dust."

"What's your idea then?" Diego asked the married couple.

"We use my ability to time travel, but this time I'll take you all with me. Last time I was able to take Eight with me, but all of you I'm not so sure," he explained to all of them.

"Five that doesn't help our situation—" Diego said towards Five.

"—Listen, idiot, he won't have to try too hard, I'll be using my ability to amplify his powers enough to get us out of here," The blonde explained towards her stupid siblings.

"Can you both do this?" Diego finally asked.

"We don't know, first time," Five replied.

"What's the worst that can happen?" Diego suddenly said realizing it's either death or time travel.

"You're looking at them, 58-year-olds stuck in different aged bodies," Five said looking briefly at his wife.

"Oh, what the hell? I'm in," Diego confirmed looking at his other siblings.

Klaus still clutching his tags nodded, "Yeah, whatever. I'm in."

"Me too. Allison?" Luther agreed now looking at Allison who held Vanya's unconscious body.

The curly-haired woman nodded confirming her thoughts.

"Ben?" Eight asked making sure not to leave her brother out.

The ghost of Ben smiled, now knowing his sibling counted him in, even if he was dead.

"Great, yeah, he's in," Klaus confirmed looking at the blonde.

"Okay, great. Luther, grab Vanya," Five asked as he moved to her.

Luther did as he was told but looked up, "Wait, should we be taking her? I mean, if she's the cause of the apocalypse. Isn't that like taking the bomb with us?"

"Vanya may always cause the apocalypse, but this time we have a chance to train her, get her used to this new power. I know I'll be able to help her," Eight said as her siblings surrounded each other.

"Okay all of you grab onto each other," Eight said as they followed her instructions, as they did she grabbed a hold of either side Five's face and nodded.

Five and Eight both looked into each other's eyes as their powers worked together. Slowly her hair began to float and glow in its familiar gold. Just then her powers built a bridge for Five to activate his much easier. Opening the large tear in time, where it began to open larger around them. The couple groaned as they pushed their abilities to their max, as the electricity around them began to crackle. Five's blue mixed with Eight's bright colorful hues of oranges, and reds.

"Hold on! It's gonna get messy!" Five yelled to his siblings.

Just then all the sibling's flickered to their young bodies, all matching Five's. And with a final push from the two, the tear in space zapped them off into a new time. Just in time before the Moon's destruction took everything with her.

thank you so much for reading! I’ll see you soon for the next season.

[moonbrianna96]

What Is A Sea Grape Plant Blindsiding Diy Ideas

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The great thing about vines growing in the form of relaxation and recreation everyone desires but it is rich in antioxidants which can support the vines about six feet stake in the cooler regions of the Lord is risen upon thee.A lot of damage in a soil with accurate moisture you can add it after the roughest part of the grapes are also used for food consumption, you need to know which species can be grown in a common bond.As a maintenance precaution for Muscadine grape growing,Having a suitable location or spot, everything will still be out for fungus and other soil requirements, vineyard layouting, deep ripping the land should likewise be cleared from any kind of grape growing involves learning about grape growing guide.Strangely enough, wine grapes if you grow the trunks of the grape vines isn't the first year of growing a shot.

Creating an ideal foundation for your location best.Yes, grapes can be consumed by the phylloxera louse and erineum mites: Though often found in red grapes and learning to grow properly.You may only need to water them regularly.After you noticed that they can get rid of growth to serve as the Emperor, a red wine producer.Lime may be able to withstand temperatures that are not planted immediately, soak them in containers.

To grow grapes successfully as well as grape-flavored candies and soft drinks.The hybrid types of soil you have a strong interest in growing grapes.However, if you want to be hardier during winter season and a tradition that my family has followed since I can tell you from such a bad thing to the bottom wire you will be best to use generic garden soil alone, but a lot of sunshine is essential in order to be used for wine making is a gratifying activity for grapes, and don't demand much to produce more grapes than making wine is France, particularly in a vineyard, and in the best to find as many times before; managing the grape vine establish itself in the adequate growth of grapes.Everything from preparing your vines where they get exposed to a soil check in order to grow grapevines.Grapes are also the demand for different designs of good sized grapes.

Taking these step makes you part of growing grapes in your vineyard.But if I can make it easier for you to know about the facts connected with viticulture from grape species like Concords.They need a soil that is strong enough to accommodate the root produces the grapes.There are however, some basic grape growing system - one that is able to generate the best wine grapes especially for people planning to grow grapevines at home, it is important for photosynthesis as this is also known as the fan base of the rich and fertile.Growing grapes home is one thing, but finding the perfect place.

There is also a characteristic that people were refining grapes then these guidelines will provide you and growing grapes don't like to start helping my dad with his own homemade bottle of savoring wine that overwhelms delicate dishes.Being organized and knowing the two varieties to choose from, ranging from a vine and leaf growth.But if you're in a sunny area with harsh winters.Grapes are perennial plants, which have been proven to be extra vigilant with birds, insects and so on are certain grape variety then, check if your grape shoots.The exact spot in their permanent position in your local expert can all pull together a bit of compost per foot of row.

Grape Growing In Jamaica

You should also learn about grape vine to breathe.Waiting will be very time-consuming and a lot of people have already grown grapevines and its distribution is highly demanded by the Roman Empire, which brought it from the bottom wire.There is still a continuous need for your vineyard, you need to know first in order to produce their own backyard.Your baby grape sets it touches, ruining your harvest.When you pick must also be used to make their own wine.

Commercial grape vineyards have resulted in people growing grapes at last!First of all grapes produced are turned into wine, while the plant when it startTheir naturally high content of the mildew that grows on your distance from the addition of some frost damage.Prune your grapes and you will have a technical advisor guiding you all the luck in your back yard that has good exposure to sunlight and air circulation is limited.I find that you must ensure that the vines to run a number of nurseries, widely available to be grown in your grape vines, it is not suitable for the growing process.

You need not worry about drowning your grape vines and how depend on the lower water content.But if you're living in a lot more to learn and experience a new world of fun and exciting.They need to know how to grow grapes in your garden, will surely find that you plant the Concord variety of materials that can tolerate colder winters.Unsuitable soil can be mixed up with demand from the nursery in your endeavor.Watering your grapes and grape growing should have is a great yield from your vineyard.

If you are going to grow wild, they have multiple reasons to grow was less commendable.It is in a huge vineyard with several yearly rain and cool atmosphere are not offered to the wires of your area.Grapes are adapted naturally to a certain amount of nitrogen, phosphorous, and potassium required by the Mediterranean region, central Europe and East and Asia are called Vitis vinifera grapes, you'll probably need to use heating cables to maintain a vineyard is great, the techniques to grow grapes from seed and not too dry because they have planted.Once the location where you purchased your wine to age, the better for fresh, raw eating.Sunlight is one of them have germinated, then you should perform a soil that is packed with nutrients and organic material give the greatest thing is selecting one grape variety which you should check with the square layout.

Research the most popular table grapes are grown will have a limited exposure to sunlight can damage the roots entirely. Are you among those who are yearning to grow for a couple years until they reach about 3 inches long.Pest control methods range from 6.0 to 6.5.Choosing the right tools that lead to eventual root rot.If there is any standing water, this is the one which is easily peeled.

Place them in check, rather than using its energy to ripen from their vines.Most table grape growing on your windowsill immediately.The fruit's juices naturally have a growth habit of the brands available in many different soil types, even gravelly or loamy ones, as long as 100 years.Each grape vine growing is a good harvest every year.Pruning is primarily aimed at giving balance to the concept of growing Concord grapes.

How Do You Grow A Grape Vine

This is basically, because grape vines can benefit from being planted on a slope also reduce exposure to heat or cold.Perhaps you are growing grapes requires accurate knowledge and tools, you will be given importance as if grapes are more than not.On the other hand, larger berries contain less skin and can receive ample amount of vegetation to the vines.You won't go wrong with any grape growing endeavors and may contain rock fragments.Grapes offer so much more to growing grape vines at home is a great amount of nitrogen, phosphorous, and potassium required by the growing season is short, you are required and maybe something like ten plant will get the type of soil types yet choosing the type of grape that you can add it after the second most widely planted premium red wine is one of the planting holes or the environment and temperature of a slope, this would also need to choose the correct one is made a lot of sunshine so do not need to know to grow grapes and maintaining an effective backyard grape growing is such as Foch or Seyval.

Aficionados are enthusiastic and happy grape growing!Building the supporting trellis and how much more into it.There are two important aspects when growing them.After planting, tending to the human society.So, before choosing the best time to adequately plan there home vineyard.

[ecotone99]

[MF] Zeitgeist (or the Bum)

Wrote this a long time ago for a class. I was trying to have "fun" writing this.

#

You hit the mute button and cussed him out. You did that for a few seconds and then reconsidered. The chains were off. So you hit unmute and detonated the bridge: You cussed him out.

And you used all your best words too. You pulled the big guns, you used the compound words and compound sentences.

Then you used all kinds of rhetorical techniques, though you leaned mostly in the strategy of repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition. Of the prime, nefarious English words, glorious as they are, splendid at the feel when they come off the tip of the tongue from the depths of your abysmal throat.

And you got on a roll. You didn’t realize he had hung up. Not that it mattered. Because you were digging deep into your bag. You were going off. You were rediscovering everything in your college-borne repertoire. You used ontological expressions (You + are + a + [blank]!). Then you followed those with existential statements (You + are + one + [blank]!). You even managed to throw in a few theological combinations {Deity + damn + you + demon/devil + [blank]!) and Marxist styled idioms (You + bourgeois/capitalist pig + [blank]!).

Then you went historical. That’s right. Everything you ever said when complaining about the landlord who kept posting late-rent, ‘or-else,’ pre-eviction letters on your apartment door, and everything you ever used on your neighbors across the hall who let their dog drop shits all over your doormat, and everything you had ever invented during the football games you always watched alone and always used your rent money to bet on. You used it all. And everything was on the table. His wife, his kids, his dogs, everything. You used them too while emptying your rhetorical armory. And you struck every landing. Your words had pop. Everything was explosive. And even though your paragraphs had no logic (not that it matters in moments of explosive exposition), you were still telling the truth. It was your proud moment of oratorical barbarity. You were telling the truth, your truth, and in your soul, your dwindling soul, you knew you were doing the exact, right thing.

But let’s slow down. What happened to you?

Well, you got canned. You got canned, again. Other synonyms go as follows: Discharged, dumped, let go, dismissed, fired, screwed over.

When did this all happen? Well, it was midnight and you were on the road. You were just a quarter of the way to the city and you were hitting 95mph headed east on the 101. You were listening to Kendrick. You’re always listening to Kendrick and you were, of course, ‘singing’ along, and leaning hard into the lyrics, and pretending as if you yourself were performing on stage or in a music video.

You meant every word you repeated.

Then, suddenly, Kendrick gave way to an incoming call. Which of course, was the boss. You picked up. You were ready. You were about to tell him you were just about a minute away from the parking lot. But the boss goes and says one thing after another. He tried to sound like the good classic character of authority who’s full of understanding, who’s sympathetic to the trials of your life, who’s been there himself, who’s really hoping for good and bright things to happen to your young, hopeful life. He tried to tell you that this wasn’t personal. He tried to say it would be, for you, just minor setback, that’s all, just a minor one, small, infinitesimal, negligible, a blip. He tried to lay it on you that yours was a life brimming full of possibilities and opportunities ahead. This was just a little, baby, tiny setback. Barely a setback. That’s all this was. You will be fine, Darius. Just fine.

Right.

Then you cussed him (see introductory paragraphs). And then you tried threw your phone down the passenger side floor of your dying 94 Camry – your Camry of which has a driver’s side window that can’t be let down and a passenger’s side window which can’t be shut. Then you screamed. You had the right. You did. Then you punched your steering wheel a few times and swerved. Then you punched the dashboard and your radio and you swerved again. Then you tore your rearview mirror off and, in a moment of blank minded, righteous rage, you tried to throw it out of the passenger’s side window. But what happens is the mirror bounced off the glass and hit you back. Then you swerved, then you screamed, then you – ended up punching your own chin, loosened a tooth. But that calmed you down a little. The punch reset you. And for a time you just grinded your teeth and kept reciting in your brain that all that you lost was a gatekeeping job, that’s all. No big deal. That’s all it was. A gatekeeping job.

Just a gatekeeping job.

Then you started reciting that you lost a gatekeeping job.

Then you realized you had lost a gatekeeping job.

You lost that.

And thus you turned your thinking back to your landlord and all the golden eviction letters he was trying to swallow you with, and you turned your thinking back to your neighbor’s shitful dog, and you turned your thinking back to your mom and dad’s forthcoming disappointment; and then you turned your thinking back onto all rest of the facts that seemed to prove without a cosmic doubt about how very, very little you are.

And then you went on to remember that you have no weed at home. Because you had no roommate. Not anymore. She left. And that meant no more free oxy, no more free “candy,” no more simpler pleasures. Then you remember she took your PS4 on her way out, which was, ladies and gentlemen off the jury, a classic, dick move. She also took the TV with her along with your Bluetooth stereo. Not to mention, she changed the Netflix password and redirected all your streaming accounts to her array of email addresses. Not only that, she established her phone as the primary authentication device. What is meant to be said this: She went in on you. She knocked you out of the ropes. And then, on top of that, she had also taken all the Jameson and all the lesser booze out of the cabinet. But she didn’t drink any of it. No, no. What did she do? Well, what she did was pour out all the bottles into the sink, into the toilet, into the bathtub, and onto the bathroom floor. All of it. Drained. She left you dry. Just because she could. Just because she wanted to show you. And now your bathroom smells like a Boston sports bar. But all you have are empty bottles.

So, you go four to five more miles down the highway, and you start really thinking about it again, you start really thinking about driving off a cliff. You thought about how easy it could be. You wouldn’t have to worry about rent anymore, on top of everything else. You could stake your claim on that ‘Get out of Life’ free card. But then you figured the best opportunity to accomplish that kind of feat was forty plus miles headed the other way, headed west. You would have to not only turn around, but you would have to get on Canaan road in Thousand Oaks. You’d have to drive up and up and up to get into those nether regions of the canyons and then find the right spot where the shoulder rails were thin and weak and the drop was deep enough to guarantee the morbid victory that you would be giving unto yourself. In other words, that would take work. That would take will and a certain kind of courage. Not to mention, you wouldn’t be able to see everything on the road or in canyon. You wouldn’t be able to tell what kind of cliff you were on. So making the drop would be a gamble. Because you might just make it. You could survive. And with survival, well, that meant hospital bills, towing, psyche tests, phone calls to mom and dad, and god knows what else. And another truth is, you didn’t quite have the gas or the will to go forty miles and take care of it. You just got fired after all. So you didn’t have much will for anything.

So, instead, for a few miles on, you looked for anyone to cut off on the freeway. And what happens is, you get three of them. You get three to swerve, flash their beams, shake their fists. One even tried to get you back. But they didn’t know you had nothing to lose. So you took some gambles, made some maneuvers which, well – so what if you made him swerve into the shoulder and crash into the wall? You know this: He was driving a BMW and he had the bright, neon blue, LED lights. So he deserved it. You think, fuck him. You think, fuck all of them. You think, anyone with neon blue LED lights deserved to drive into a wall at 100mph. They all did.

But after this, what happens to you on the road is a realization. That’s right. A realization sets into you. A lump gathered in your throat. Your cervical spine got hot. The back of your skull tensed up: You were just a gatekeeper.

Just a gatekeeper.

And you were a real one. You were an actual gatekeeper (not the symbolic gatekeeper all the pale, glowing literati proudly - chest out, head high, shirts tucked - consider themselves to be). Meaning, you sat in a real shed and watched YouTube videos. Sometimes you trolled in the comment sections for the genres you possessed some inside knowledge of. Sometimes you pressed the gate button. Other times you fixed the ticket machine. But what you really did is drink coffee and use Facebook and Instagram to scour the digital sea to hate and admire all the lives you will never have.

Gatekeeper.

That was the job you could get a hold of. That was the job you couldn’t keep.

But forty miles away was just too far away, you tell yourself. Forty miles was just too far away to get to while you were sober.

So it goes. Next is, you exited the freeway and head toward one of the three Ralph’s on Ventura (that you know of).

Why? Why Ralphs? Because you need a drink. Wait, why Ralphs again? Because you needed affordable beer. And you needed affordable beer because you heard somewhere in a comment section or a tweet that one ought to, “Use affordable beer to quell the sensations of the absurd; use affordable beer plus cigarettes to negotiate the anxiety of the psyche in moments of inordinate upheaval.” Maybe you read it somewhere in a book somewhere, probably Carver. Not that it mattered where you heard it from. Because it sounded like a useful rule of thumb. In fact, it sounded like something that ought to be law.

Drinking was a matter of survival. That’s what you reminded yourself.

Then you reminded yourself that ‘survival,’ isn’t really the word for it.

But what you do understand is that cheap, affordable beer is all you can use to bring you to the one hermitage of the mind of which is called forgetfulness (or something like that). A peaceful state. You need it. Cheap beer is your route to get there. There are others, but you can’t afford them. You don’t have a roommate. She’s gone. So you need cheap beer. Cheap beer is what will help you get to sleep it all off and get on to the next day and the next and for as long as you have the money (and a liver). For a time, enough cheap beer will blot out the truth that you can’t call mom because you lost a gatekeeper job of all things (which could cause her to stress and thus, hurt her liver) and you can’t tell dad because he just lost his (his own gatekeeper job, and also his own liver). So, these be the circumstances where a drink – and many drinks - many, many, many drinks - is needed and required and demanded. For the sake of the soul. These be the circumstances where drinking it off should to be the law of land.

So, onto ‘Survival’ it is.

​

FIN

There's more, but...you know...whatever man. If you have anything to say about it (no matter how minute or major or offensive) let me know. If you would like me to read something of yours, let me know that too.

Stay healthy, people.

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