Fluent Freshman - Part 45
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Renee Walker stands next to two of her best friends in the entire world holding up a hand drawn sign. There's an, admittedly crudely drawn, Fox on the sign that Allison had made up.
Renee had seen it and smiled from across the airport as she made her way over to where Dan and Allison were standing waiting for everyone to come. The team had managed to coordinate their flights to land all within about two hours of one another and Allison had exactly zero desire to go back and forth from the airport so her driver was waiting out at a nearby cellphone lot to come and get them once everyone was there.
"Is it nice having a driver again?" Dan asks Allison.
"I sometimes miss driving around in my car but it's a lot easier to do my makeup with him driving." she says with a shrug as they continue to catch up. Renee is holding up the sign since Allison had complained that she had lost so much of the muscle she had previously had.
"Yeah, New York City seems like a major pain in the ass to drive in too." Dan agrees as her phone buzzes. She pulls out her phone and looks at it before a huge smile fills her face, one that means she's talking to Matt, "Oh! They just landed!" Dan says confirming Renee's suspicions.
Allison looks at her watch, "Wow, 20 minutes early. They must have gotten through boarding quickly." she comments.
"Or some good tailwind." Renee offers.
"When are Neil and Andrew due up?" Dan asks looking at Renee who smiles back at her friend.
"Andrew said they're going to take a break halfway here so they'll be here tomorrow morning." Renee says.
"Get it Neil." Allison nods and it had been a wonderful thing last year to watch Andrew and Allison make peace with one another. Their mutual desire to dress Neil up a bridge towards....maybe not friendship but camaraderie.
It warms Renee's heart to see her friends get along.
"The plane got tailwind, Neil's getting tail." Dan jokes.
"I'm looking forward to meeting the new kid that I've heard about." Renee says gently moving the topic on from their friends getting together. It didn't bother her at all, but she knew that Andrew would prefer no one talk about what he and Neil got up to.
"Oh! Yeah, uh..." Dan visibly buffers.
"Dan, you're the only one of us that's met the kid. His name's Smith." Allison says with eyebrows raised in judgement.
"Look, when Coach and I went to recruit the kid my brain was like 90% on the fact that I needed to go to my interview." Dan defends herself.
"So he wasn't that memorable for you?" Allison asks.
"Yeah, I'm surprised that he's getting along so well with the guys." Dan says. "Getting stabbed over Thanksgiving feels more like a Neil move than the quiet kid Coach and I met." she adds.
That had been an interesting phone call from Andrew. Renee hadn't even realized that she had become Natalie describing the best way to get rid of the body until Andrew had clarified that it'd been an accident and Smith was alive. Renee had been a little ashamed.
She was excited to meet the kid who Andrew had spoken to her about. Glad that their strange found family was growing just a little bit bigger.
They wait around continuing to talk about plans for the break together. Allison wants to go shopping and she wants to do it once Neil and Andrew are back. Dan wants to skate at the Rockefeller center. Renee would love it if they could do Christmas Eve Mass.
They're sure that Kevin is going to want to check out an Exy game. They're mostly sure that Matt will want to check out the LEGO store in downtown manhattan and that Aaron will be as excited for that as Matt is but pretending not to be. Nicky wants to catch a drag show and has made it clear that he will be going regardless of what anyone else wants to do.
Andrew and Neil will probably just want to be alone when they have the chance though Neil had expressed some prior interest in the EXITES superstore and Andrew will more than likely enjoy the day Allison has planned to go shopping since she wants to update Neil's wardrobe.
The new kid, Smith, will be a mystery, but they're more than willing to be flexible.
Eventually they hear the tell-tale sign of most of the boy's arrival. "Babe!" comes from across the airport and Dan's head shoots up and spots the sight of Matt Boyd approaching his arms out wide almost clotheslining four different families on his way to Dan.
Dan is not much better as she rushes to him arms as wide.
They embrace like they always do whenever they have to spend time apart from one another and Renee knows that part of the reason that Dan took her job as assistant coach where she did is that the Washington State Congress Team had been looking at Matt the year prior to scout him.
She looks beyond the passionate reunion and sees Kevin, Aaron, and Nicky. She frowns brows furrowing...
Weren't they going to bring-
Nicky throws his arm out and it wraps around a kid she hadn't even realized was there. She blinks startled by his sudden appearance and blank expression as Nicky was pointing them out. He points to her and he can see her name on his lips she gives a wave and a smile.
Smith nods back in greeting.
He seems quite nice.
***
Renee is at the end of her proverbial rope.
This kid is a threat and she doesn't understand how she's the only person who can see it.
Being a threat isn't really an issue when you're a Fox. It's almost a given that there's some part of you that can be dangerous when backed into a corner but no one seems to be treating him like a threat.
She watches as Nicky and Matt throw their arms around him. As Kevin pushes smoothie after smoothie into his hands as he blankly sips. As Andrew and Neil sit with him quietly. As Dan pinches his cheeks. As Aaron ribs him for being bad at MarioKart.
She can't feel anything from him, no joy, no anger, nothing.
She can't even track him.
Renee has always prided herself on her ability to keep track of those around her. Spacial awareness was incredibly important when you're in a fight and it had always been one of her strongest points. She always knew where she was in relation to everyone else.
Except Smith.
The kid had given her no shortage of heart attacks as he appeared and disappeared seemingly at random.
She had finally gotten Andrew alone to ask, "Smith's quiet, non-intrusive." Andrew says with a shrug.
There's just something about him that makes the hair on the back of Renee's neck stand on edge and she hates feeling like she's the only one. She hates it even more that there's no real evidence that there's something amiss with this newest Fox.
So she settles in to watch.
They're out shopping and Allison is doing her best to get Neil a proper wardrobe with Andrew's considerable help, AKA nodding in approval when Neil comes out. She's not skimping on any of them but Neil is her main focus.
"Smith, what's a color you like?" Allison asks as she's looking at hoodies.
"I like purple." Smith answers and Renee barely manges to stop herself from flinching as his voice comes from right next to her.
"Pass." Andrew says as Neil comes out in a charmingly orange sweatshirt.
"I like it!" Neil argues.
"You have 10 sweatshirts that are that exact shade of orange." Andrew dismisses. "Try the blue one." he says pushing Neil back into the dressing room.
"Which one?" Neil asks.
Andrew sighs dramatically in a way that lets Renee know that he's doing exactly what he wants to be doing, "I'll show you." he says going into the dressing room with Neil.
"I still don't know how it took Baltimore for me to realize they were together." Nicky says as he's holding up two different purple sweatshirts to Smith's body. "You look good in a more purpley purple." Nicky says putting the more indigo colored sweatshirt back on the rack.
"Pants are coming up next, I'll get a lay of the land. I know everyone else's but Smith what's your height?" Allison asks.
"Five feet, nine inches." Smith answers as Nicky pushes him towards the dressing room. "Nicky it's a sweatshirt, I can put it on out here." Smith says.
"I know but I need an excuse to go back there and make sure Neil and Andrew aren't defiling a dressing room." Nicky says with a grin that implies he'd be more happy if they were.
"Gross." Aaron says as he takes a picture of himself to send to Katelyn to approve of the new outfit that Allison was pushing for him to get. "Wait," he pauses turning to where Allison was looking through various men's pants, "you know our heights? Like you've memorized them?" he asks.
"Yeah." Allison says looking at a pair of black slacks. "Everyone's measurements." she says nodding to herself.
"Even bust sizes?" he asks, voice not as quiet as he likely thinks it is.
"You're such a boy." Allison laughs not even looking up from the very different rack.
"How much longer are we going to be here?" Kevin asks with a sigh.
"Well, at least the time that it took you to ask that longer. We'll be done when we're done Kevin." Dan says long having given up on stopping Allison when the woman is on a spree.
"She knows that EXITES closes at 5 PM right?" Kevin asks.
"More importantly," Matt leans in, "that the LEGO store closes at 8 PM right?" Matt asks.
"How is that more important? The LEGO store is open later?" Kevin asks.
"Because we're not going to EXITES today, but we are going to the LEGO store." Matt says.
"If we don't spend the whole day here we can do both-"
"We're not going to EXITES today Kevin." Dan says with a sigh.
"But-"
"We're not going to EXITES today Kevin." Renee says with an apologetic smile.
"But-"
"Kevin, we're not going to EXITES today. Just sit down and let me find pants that'll make your pin-up days look tame in comparison." Allison says.
"That's not what those posters were!" Kevin argues with a blush on his face.
"Sure." Allison dismisses
***
Renee is quite happy with the sundresses she found even if they won't do her any good here in New York City during the Christmas break. Their next stop on their shopping day is over to the LEGO store where Matt makes no attempt to hide his enthusiasm as Aaron very valiantly does try to pretend like he's not utterly entranced by the sets and builds.
Renee thinks it's all very charming.
"We could have gone to EXITES." Kevin says with a frown as he looks at a build of an Exy racquet. "Can you take my picture with this?" he asks but he's not quite looking at Renee.
"Sure." Smith says from beside her, where he had apparently been.
"Thanks Smiths." Kevin says and stands next to the Exy racquet of LEGOs and crosses his arms and leans back.
"Kevin, stop posing like this will be for the cover of a Forbes Magazine." Andrew says with a sigh as he comes to stand on Renee's other side.
"Shut up, it's a picture for me!" Kevin says and continues to stand with his arms crossed.
"Oh, can you get a picture of me next Smith?" Neil asks coming up eyes shining in excitement as he looks at the racquet.
"Sure. As an apology for letting Nicky-"
"Don't talk about it." Neil and Andrew say at the same time.
Kevin gets his picture and then Andrew hands his phone to Smith for Neil's since Neil had broken the lens on his camera ages ago.
They wander around and Kevin finds a set to build the National Court that he grabs without a second thought. Neil and Andrew find a little LEGO man of Kevin that they buy as their 'preferred Kevin'. Kevin of course threatens to buy their LEGO figures once they have them and refer to them as his 'preferred Andrew and Neil'. A threat that neither of them comment on but Renee does buy the little Jean Moreau she finds. She'll paint it Trojan colors and send it over to him as a little gift.
As she continues to browse with her purchase in hand she hears Nicky, "Smithy, if you like it you should get it!" Nicky insists.
"Is it the price?" Allison asks.
"Yeah, I don't want to spend that much." Smith says with a nod expression still worryingly blank.
"When's your birthday? It can just be an early or a late present from me." Allison asks.
"March 1st, but really I'm fine not getting it." Smith shakes his head. "It's not that I'd like it just my little brother liked trains." he says and Renee watches Nicky's face turn from joyful teasing to intense determination.
"We're getting this set." Nicky says grabbing it and marching over to the counter even as Smith followed after him.
Interesting.
***
They finish off their day with some ice skating.
Matt, Aaron, Andrew, and Kevin all fall into the 'challenged' category.
They get on the ice and all four immediately fall. Renee stifles her laughter as Andrew and Aaron scowl. "Are you okay?" Smith asks and Renee almost loses her balance as he skates by her.
"Why the fuck are you good at skating?" Aaron asks scowling even as he takes Smith hand. Renee skates over and offers a hand to Kevin as Matt and Andrew are being helped up by their respective partners.
"Oh," Allison says skating by, "have you been up to Canada or something often?" she asks.
"I've been to Canada a few times. It's more that there was a rink I would go to every once in a while." Smith answers before turning back to Aaron, "I can help you keep balanced." he says offering his other hand.
"Smith, I don't want to hold your hand. That's kind of gay." Aaron huffs letting go of Smith's hand only to immediately beef it again when he tried to move forward.
***
Skating was fun even if Aaron kept blushing as Smith helped him skate since he never really got his 'ice legs'. The rest of them all more or less skated on their own by the end or, in the case of Andrew and Matt, seemed fine to keep skating while holding on.
Renee was warming herself by the fireplace in Allison's home enjoying some hot chocolate as Allison took a seat next to her. There was a lot of commotion in the kitchen as the team was working to make dinner together. Renee had excused herself after Smith had startled her while she had a knife in hand and she'd almost stabbed him on instinct.
She's just relieved that no one seemed to notice the near murder.
"You okay? You seemed tense in there." Allison asks.
Well, almost no one.
"Yes, I'm fine." she smiles and hopes that Allison will believe it.
Allison looks at her and Renee does have the benefit that Allison is slightly drunk since she was told firmly not to help with the cooking since she'd paid for the majority of the day.
"I'm glad I got you alone, there's something I want to hear your opinion on." Allison says deciding, apparently, to let it go for now.
Renee relaxes smiling at her friend, "What's that?" she asks wondering what purchase or thing unpurchased Allison was regretting.
Allison looks at Renee, expression utterly serious. "Don't you think there's something...weird about this kid?" she asks.
Renee straightens up glad that Allison had also felt like something was off with the kid that her friends had brought along. "What do you mean?" she asks wanting to hear what Allison thought.
"Look, he seems really nice. I mean a little too nice to be a Fox to be honest but I mean I guess you're a Fox as well so..." Allison rambles slightly taking another sip of her wine.
"Yes, go on." Renee nods.
"Yeah, he seems nice and Matt said he's got his own stuff even if he didn't wanna go into what that stuff was." Allison continues and it's a good thing Allison is drinking white wine considering the white carpet and her gesticulations. "But...it's just.. okay you can't make fun of me. Even though this is about to sound crazy." Allison says.
"I would never do something like that." Renee swears.
"Promise me." Allison says expression grave as she lifts up a pinky.
Renee smiles despite herself and hooks her pinky with Allison's, "I promise to not make fun of you." she swears other hand over her cross.
"I think he's Justin Bieber."
MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
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Light's end has always bothered me for multiple reasons (the biggest of which is it not actually being his fault that he lost therefore robbing me of a greater poetic justice but you can't win 'em all), but I think one nobody really talks about is that,,,Light wasn't afraid to die.
Well—he WAS, at the beginning, but part of the reason I'm so obsessed with his relationship with Ryuk is because Ryuk's existence was a constant threat to Light's life. And yet Light never once seemed afraid of him, or tried to cozy up to him, or even attempted manipulate Ryuk into doing things for him. Sure, he bribed him sometimes into going along with his plans, but he was friends with Ryuk. Or—as close to friends as I assume a Light Yagami and a Shinigami can get.
But before Light meets Ryuk, he 100% believes that he's going to die. His frenzy those first few days can be attributed not to any moral righteousness, but to a desperate sort of resignation. Light thinks that he's sold his soul after killing those first two men, so instead of destroying the Death Note, he immediately sets out to make as big of an impact as possible. He wants to go out with a bang! He wants to be remembered! Light is afraid of death in those first days—but he also comes to terms with it somewhere between killing Otoharada and Ryuk showing up. He was ready to go with Ryuk quietly if he was there to take his life or his soul.
But then—he learns that he's not going to die.
The face of a boy excited and relieved.
Light learns that there are no consequences to using the Death Note.
THIS is when he starts getting cocky, when he starts to actually convince himself of all that moral stuff he spouts.
But he's still not afraid of death.
Oh he's afraid of being caught, for sure, and after L humiliated him on live television, he might've even been afraid of execution. Because he'd seen firsthand just how quickly L could turn the tables on him, how he could make Kira look foolish. And Light definitely does not want to be remembered as foolish.
I don't think Light was afraid of actually DYING though, because when Ryuk says "You know I could just kill you", Light laughs. Literally laughing in the face of death. Light KNOWS that Ryuk will eventually kill him, but as long as he goes down the way he wants—on HIS terms—it's fine. Ryuk claiming that he'd be the one to finally end Light might've even been a relief, considering how Light's mind works. A god can only be killed by another god, etc. etc. 'Killed By A Real-life Shinigami' sounds metal as FUCK. Top-tier way to die if you're as much of a gloryhound as Light.
And one thing that irks me is that—the five year gap kind of,,,,takes that, from Light. Light spends so long on top of the world with no real challenge that by the time that Near and Mello show up, he's far more arrogant than he was when he was up against L. Light is, once more, afraid of death. He's lost that tolerance he built up in those pivotal first few days, and he goes out, not in a blaze of glory like he wanted, but clawing and pleading to live like a dog.
Light lost his recklessness, his impatience, his acceptance of the inevitable because he believed that he could now change the inevitable—all somewhere in that five year time skip.
This makes him less likely to get caught, yes, but it also takes away that—that teenage dauntlessness that he had at the beginning. Pre-skip Light feared L and L alone. Only the idea of being caught by someone who could truly tear him down frightened him. Not even death compared.
And I suppose that Light's spiralling at the end is a sort of poetic justice in this case?? But it's not the one I wanted.
I wanted Light's recklessness to blow up in his face. I wanted his carefully curated plans ruined by his own impatient hand. I wanted him to go down much as he probably first intended—in a blaze of glory. I wanted his fall to be explosive and terrifying to the audience. A moral of the story that shoots you right in the chest and really makes you think.
Instead he was reduced to just,,,,another criminal, begging for his life.
Which, yes, I suppose, is also a message in and of itself (all evil figures throughout history have only ever been human, have only ever been men that bleed red at the end of the day, and nothing they've ever done or said will change that), but I also find that....exceedingly boring.
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