#his american accent makes me cringe a little

[twistedinthreads]

Lost In The Labyrinth

Part 1.

You came to Oxford to get away from America; from your mother's fame and the ghosts of your past. You get more than you bargained for when you meet Felix.

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: sexual content (not explicit but it's there so 18+ MINORS DNI), I used some descriptors for reader such as scars, birthmarks, imperfections, but I made her as inclusive as possible, reader is American, she's also a nepo baby but isn't using her nepotism in any real way. Bi!reader and Felix. fic title inspired by the taylor swift song, of course (and I am terrible at titles!)

Playlist (a work in progress!)

A/N: I am so insecure about this reading back over it omgggg but I'm posting it anyway! Hi friends. I've been working on this for so long, and I'm recovering from my surgery so I figured there's no time like the present. Here we are. I am obsessed with this movie and this man! I promise this fic is gonna get more interesting, but we've got this for now. Let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist, and feel free to send me asks if you want to talk about reader and her lore, because she is very special to me and I adore her already!!!

Your eyes droop as you hum along to the nameless blonde that stands in front of you, her sparkly pink cocktail dress catching the light and making her glow. She’s going on and on about how Everlasting Eve is her favorite movie of all time, and how your mother is “the greatest actress of our time!” You want to vomit. It’s not like this doesn’t happen, it’s practically a daily occurrence at this point, but you’d much prefer it if people stopped giving so much of a shit. If they did, you wouldn’t be stood with a bottle blonde from Bristol talking your ear off. You’d just stepped out to get some air, for Christ’s sake. 

“You’re from the States, right?” You nod, sipping at your cocktail and bouncing from one foot to the other to conserve some warmth in your legs. She asks it as if she hasn’t been talking your ear off and didn’t notice your accent, not as thick as it used to be when you’d lived in New York full time, but still foreign here. The music is less obnoxious out here, bass easing on your chest. It’s cooler, too, the fall night air brushing against your neck like a lover. “That’s brilliant! I went with my parents once, when I was a kid. We went to Disney World.” 

You smile and nod, muttering out a “cool” as you sip at your drink, cringing at its strength. 

“Is that far from where you live?” She asks, and you wonder how she got into this fucking school. Probably a legacy, with more money than she knows what to do with.

“Uh,” you suppress a laugh. “Yeah. Yeah, like… incredibly South of New York.” 

“I’ve always wanted to go to New York,” she continues to babble. “My parents go on business trips there, but they’ve never taken me. I want to see where Little Angels was filmed! Uh, Lincoln Square Park?”

“Washington Square Park,” you correct her. 

“Yeah!” She snaps her fingers and points. “That’s it! When your mom’s character is waiting there for Hugh Grant’s character, and then they walk off into the sunset together? Absolutely the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen!”

You stare off into the distance vacantly, the night sky painted with different navy hues and dotted with the brushstrokes of stars. 

Suddenly, you feel a warm arm around your waist, hot breath on your cheek. “There you are!” You’d know that voice anywhere. The figure kisses you on the cheek and it takes everything in you not to start grinning from ear to ear. You turn, meeting his lips, and he plays along like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “I’m gonna head home, wanna come with?”

You nod, thanking him with your eyes. He winks gently at you and grabs your hand. “Nice talking to you…” you’ve already forgotten her name. Her tone has completely shifted, body stiff as her eyes mull over you and the man that holds your hand with a vice grip. 

“Sandra.” It’s cold, but you keep your own voice chipper. 

“Sandra! Nice to meet you,” she’s in your college, so you’ll have to be cordial. “See you around?”

She just nods and lights a cigarette. 

As you walk away, one of Felix’s hands around your waist and the other holding your own, you look up at him. “Thank you so much. Holy shit. I was about to lose it.”

He lets out a low, intoxicated chuckle. “It’s what I’m here for, darling.” Uses his fingers on your chin, tugging lightly to kiss you hard on the mouth. He pulls away and you chase his lips, planting one more kiss on his mouth, this time softer. 

“Your room or mine?” You ask, to be met with a smirk as he grabs your hand and leads you across campus. It’s a path you could walk with your eyes closed, the muscle memory of so many nights embedded into your body by now. 

His room is all red carpet and wood paneling, empty takeout containers and beer cans and ashtrays strewn about. His bed is unmade and his textbooks are all over his floor, but it hardly matters when he’s kissing you like you’re the only person in the fucking universe. 

Within minutes, you settle back into a familiar routine. Clothes shed, completely bare to one another as you grind and writhe on top of him, hands on his toned chest. He’s gorgeous with his mouth open in ecstasy, labored breaths escaping it, eyes closed and clenched, hands rested on your waist as you move above him, a renaissance painting. You’re moaning too, tempering your whines so that the sounds don’t travel. The moon paints the room in subtle, cool light and the pleasure makes sweat bead on your brows.

“Missed you,” he manages between moans, voice heavy and breathy. “Missed this.” 

“It’s been like, two days,” you let out a chuckle, and it fades into a moan as you grind your hips again, trying not to scratch his chest with your manicured nails, though you doubt he'd mind too much.

“And that’s too long,” he replies, and you lean down and kiss him, open mouthed and messy and euphoric. 

When it’s all said and done, you lay naked beside him while he smokes a cigarette, arm laced around your bare shoulder, your head rested on his. It’s bliss, something you’ve begun to ache for all the time. “Really, thank you. That girl was driving me fucking insane.”

“That scene where your mom’s character and Hugh Grant ride off into the sunset together? Immaculate.” He mocks the girl, a surprisingly good impersonation, and you both belly laugh. You wipe away bits of red lipstick from his mouth and grin delicately at him. You know you’re not the only girl he’s seeing, not even the only girl he’s fucking, and it wedges something vile and dangerous in your heart. The words linger on your tongue. You want to ask, want to know, and if you sound desperate? Well, so be it. 

“What is this?” You wrench the words out quickly, looking at your hands. 

“What do you mean?” He takes a long drag of the cigarette, letting the smell perforate the air in the room, turning it cloudy in its wake. 

“Us,” you murmur, and he runs a hand through your hair. “Like… I know you’re fucking other people, Felix. And that’s fine but… I just want to be clear on what this.” 

He looks at you perplexed, smashing the cigarette in the ash tray and turning on his side toward you. You mirror his motions, so the two of you are laying in bed, you practically on top of him due to its size, your hands under your cheek. “I’m fucking other girls? News to me.” 

“I see the way you look at them,” you murmur. “India. Annabel. That guy you study with sometimes… Ryan?”

“I’m not fucking anyone else,” he mutters, seeming almost offended at the notion. He scoffs before his next words. “I practically haven’t even looked at anyone else.”

“Fe-“ he cuts you off, a hand brushing over your cheek, holding it delicately. 

“No,” he starts. “I know I have a reputation or whatever,” he waves his free hand around. “But I genuinely haven’t been seeing anyone else since we started… this.” He gestures between the two of you, and you can sense that he's lying, but it hardly matters. 

You’re almost self-conscious as his eyes rake over your body; so self aware of every little imperfection, every feature. The birthmark on your hip. The way one tit is just a bit bigger than the other. Your crooked finger from when you broke it playing volleyball in ninth grade. The gray hairs you’d been noticing popping up recently. 

“You’re the prettiest fucking girl at this college,” he says your name before kissing you sweetly. “Don’t want to look at anyone else.” You know it’s a lie, considering the fact that he does look at other girls, and often. It’s almost like you can’t bother to care, though. Your head is all floaty and tears are burning your eyes. 

He climbs on top of you, kisses down your chest, down your stomach, makes sure to take his time kissing that same birthmark you were so insecure about minutes before, your inner thighs, before finally landing where it matters most. 

“So fuckin’ beautiful, yeah?” He looks up at you with those gorgeous eyes, the earnestness in them making your heart swell up. In this moment, it’s not the same Felix that made you cry last week because he told you you needed to get your own friends (you have plenty), or the Felix that ignored you at the pub to talk to Annabel, causing you to storm out and ignore him for three days until he realized. 

Sometimes, he doesn’t care if you come, and he doesn’t clean up after himself, and sometimes his words bite, and last week he made that insensitive comment about your friend with depression. But you think you might love him, and it feels like enough. 

After, he asks you to stay with him. You laugh languidly, tears brimming at your eyes from how hard. He kisses you, soft and slow, the moonlight seeping into the window and painting the carpet with light; it looks like a lone puddle of blood in a sea of blackness. 

When you wake, it’s nearly noon. The sun beams through the curtains and you shield your eyes, trying to move underneath Felix’s strong grip. He’s got a hand wrapped around your thigh. Your leg wrapped around his waist while your arms are, slightly pained from the uncomfortable angle, folded around his neck. You regret moving your face from its spot in his chest, wanting nothing more than to occupy his space for as long as possible. 

You can’t bear to wake him, his eyelashes fluttering ever-so-slightly against his face. You smile, tuck yourself back into him, and feel his breaths come out relaxed and steady. The tranquility doesn’t last long, though, and you watch as his eyes flicker open. “Good morning,” his voice is raspy, his saccharine accent accentuating every word with posh sweetness. He kisses your cheek and gets up, your eyes meeting his bare ass. “I should go shower, you cool to stay here?” He asks as he gathers his things. 

“I need to go,” you also get up, searching around for your undergarments and your uncomfortable cocktail dress, pulling the blue, beaded garment on without much care. “Sundays are study days with June.”

You slip your uncomfortable heels on, wincing at the blister you’d developed last night but didn’t notice until now, and kiss him on the cheek as you leave his dorm. 

The trek across campus has you nearly limping in pain, as you kick your shoes off the second you make it into your room. You gather your shower gear, thankful for your own bathroom and the warmth of a long, hot shower. It’s almost painful to wash his scent off of you, but you know you’ll be seeing him again soon, and let your floral body wash cleanse you and your sore form. 

Before you get dressed, you grab antibiotic cream and bandaids from a drawer and tend to your blisters, throwing on a pair of slip-ons to avoid even more pain. 

And as you go to study with June, your mind is far from Shakespeare; it rests only on Felix, Felix, Felix. 

[skylarsblue]

this isn’t really a request or anythin’, just a thought. 141 havin to deal with a southern team member who only gets progressively more accented the more they get mad.

100% projecting here

pretty unaccented, American, whatever —> ✨ anger ✨ —> Memphis called they want their “oo-ol” back (translation: oil).

i have no idea if they’d be annoyed, charmed, or just confused.

✦141 + Los Vaqueros With A Southern!Teammate✦

(My first C.o.D request and it's for pEOPLE LIKE MEEEE, southern traassh! This my shit. Fair warning, I've never played one of these games cause I don't have a console, so if they're ooc, please tell me how I can improve writing them!)

✦Random headcanons, Southern slang, GN!Reader, Race neutral as well but American, implied to be Oklahoma/Texas style southern, aggressive cursing because I have the mouth of a sailor, a bit of Google Translated Spanish(forgive me), Rudy doesn't have a color cause I ran out I'm so sorry precious boy✦

✧Simon Riley✧

He's not real fond of Americans, admittedly. He's got a little voice in the back of his head that automatically associates Americans with betrayal, but he'll keep quiet.

He cringes at your accent at first. He's not fond of Americans, even less so of most American accents. It's a very thick drawl and after being in the team for a while, he'll tease you about it, telling you to "Speak English" like he does with Soap.

He shuts up when you bring up his Manchester accent being illegible sometimes. It's all in good fun though!

After proving you're trustworthy, he'll basically call you his "special American", to show you're an exception. He will never stop poking fun at you though, just as you do to him. Particularly when you say something intensely American.

"Look at her ass, out here pitchin' a bitch fit with a tail on it." "...What in the hell is that even supposed to mean?"

He'll give you one thing, you treat beef well, which he appreciates. Given he used to be a butcher's apprentice. Americans from the southern states know how to make a hamburger and we know how to cook a steak, that's like...the one thing we can brag about.

If you're like me and you dunk on your own country, he thinks those moments are really funny. Especially when you sound so American.

He probably enjoys you being angry the most. He loves it so much, he thinks it's extremely entertaining. Especially if you're a more small, non-intimidating person on the surface.

"Fuck off! Out here makin' a damn mess of the place, runnin' around like a chicken with its head cut off, wrecking my shit! I outta whoop yer ass!" "Should we step in?" "No no, let it go on a little longer..."

Probably tries to make your call sign something heavily American stereotypical, in a funny way. (ie. Bald Eagle, Stars(JILL!), Shotgun, etc.)

A bit hypocritical but if you have a farm with cows on it, he doesn't really wanna see them. His first thought his how to butcher them from years of training, and if they're not butcher cows, he feels kinda bad for thinking it.

Congrats! You're the only American Simon likes, aside from maybe Alex but I don't know for sure.

✧Johnny MacTavish✧

Laughs when you first speak. He apologizes but like, he laughs at you, I'm sorry.

Definitely asks if you have a cowboy hat, and he will lose his fucking mind if you do. The more cowboy shit you own the more he's entertained, especially if you wear them around base/on field.

He understands you super well but no one understands how or why. Johnny explains that it's just because he's good with accents. He'll hear weird euphemisms and, though it may take a second, 9 times out of 10 he'll get it.

"Fucker's so cheap I bet he pinches quarters til they scream." "What?! What does that mean!?" "Means he's a penny pincher! He's cheap. C'mon, that one was obvious, keep up, yeah?"

If you're a woman/female leaning, he'll call you cowgirl. If you're male/male leaning, you get the nickname cowboy. Non-binary/Genderfluid/Etc.? He calls you partner, and he'll always say it with a shitty imitation of your accent.

Asks you a buncha questions about American-Southern stereotypes to see if they're true. If they are, he gets really giggly about it.

If they ever have a mission in America, he'll insist you lead them everywhere. He likes seeing how you interact with people, especially if you're in a big city where some nutsos are. This man would have a blast watching you in a Waffle House. It's the only time he likes seeing you yell in public, thinks it's hilarious.

If you have any farm experience he's gotta see it. He needs to. I don't care if the farm is your great grandpa's and you haven't been there in a decade, you better take him to see the cows and tractors right now, immediately. Especially if there are chickens. He loves chickens.

He makes fun of your accent but he thinks it's really hot sometimes and he's very annoyed at himself for it. Particularly when you speak softly, trying to console/comfort him, slipping in a typical southern pet name.

"You alright there, sugar? Took quite a hit there. You need anythin', sweetheart?" "...I uh, uhm, ahem. N-no, no I'm alright." "Are ya sure, sweetpea? Your face is goin' redder than a tomato."" NO, I'M GOOD."

Manages to get the entire team to call you a southern callsign, whether you like it or not. He'll force it to stick. Most are animal-based too. (Cowboy/Cowgirl, Chick/Rooster, Bull/Heffer, Big Tex, etc.)

Your accent grows on him significantly. While he thinks you're very sexy when you're angry, he's really affected when you're soft and sweet. (bonus note; if you're faux sweet when you're mad? The whole "Oh...bless your heart" type thing? He's prolly gonna pop a boner, not gonna lie.)

✧John Price✧

He's not American but there are a lot of American things he likes, admittedly. Specifically, old western stuff, horses, ranches, etc. That whole aesthetic is something he's always enjoyed. He won't say it, but he has a particular fondness for your accent when he first hears it.

Doesn't understand you when your accent gets super thick but he thinks it's entertaining nevertheless. Unlike Ghost or Soap, he doesn't comment on it, because he doesn't think he has room to talk. Maybe he'd do it once and then you'd throw it back at him and he'd realize that...yeah he has no room to talk.

He's a calm individual but he will yell when necessary. But, what he finds admirable is when you jump in and yell for him. Like you can read his mind and he can save his throat, watching the people who were pissing him off jump back at thick southern curses being yelled at them.

"I outta jerk a damn knot in your fuckin' tail, ya fuckin' dumbass! Didn't ya momma ever teach you respect?! You ain't ever gonna talk to my damn captain like that again or I'll skin yer fuckin' hide!" "Ahem, thank you, sergeant, that's enough."

Buys you a cowboy hat if you don't already have one, for sure. Whether you take it as a genuine gift or you take it as a light jab at your roots, he'll get a lil' dopey smile if you decide to wear it. Gaz definitely makes fun of you two. Soap points out that Gaz also wears a hat religiously and he & Ghost start callin' you the hat trio.

Man melts at southern-drawl-spoken pet names. He truly does. Much like Soap, there's something about it that makes the tension leaves his body, though he's not really sure why.

"You alright there, Cap? You're lookin' bout ready to drop..." "I'm alright soldier, just need to finish this." "Captain, it'll be there in the mornin'. How bout a nap instead, huh? You can't go workin' yourself to the bone, hun. It ain't healthy."" ...oh alright, just for a bit though." "Sure, sugarcube, just long enough to have some tea."

He'll probably pick up on a few pet names and call you them. Whether you wanna take it as platonic or not, it's really just a sweet gesture that he wants to return. Pet names are kinda just...a staple of southern slang. It's part of the accent that he really enjoys, therefore he wants to return it.

If he ends up helping you with a call sign, it's going to be a really sweet & nice one. Or perhaps something that's from an old western he's seen. Probably based on something you've said before. (Sugarcube, Lasso, Hun/Hunny.) Bonus points if you get a super sweet name that doesn't match your stature, he thinks it's funny if it throws people off.

Piggybacking off the last one, I think it'd be real funny if your call name was "Sugarcube" and you're like...a 6'0"+ buff dude with a deep voice. That shit would be funny. Anyway!

If you own/live on a ranch or farm in your off time, he'll feel honored if you invite him to see it. Don't worry, he won't laze around and just appreciate the cute animals. (Looking at you Soap) He's got a little bit of experience with cows & horses, so he'll do his best to help you move the hay and such. Don't let him drive a tractor though, it's one of the few things he just can't do.

John doesn't play favorites, he's fair and precise to his entire team. But...off the field? ...you might get a little favoritism, he's got a weakness for bein' sweettalked through southern drawl. Don't let that go to your head though!

✧Kyle Garrick✧

Kyle doesn't care too much, he thinks every country has shitty stuff and cool stuff. He's a pretty big believer in silver linings. While America is far from his favorite country, and he knows the common trope of uh...less than tolerant people from the south, that doesn't affect how he sees you at all.

He does snicker at your accent sometimes, but only when you say something really aggressively southern. Especially making up random southern phrases that he doesn't understand at all. He finds it endearing.

"We just gotta haul ass and go tear shit up, run through like a buncha Tasmanian devils, right?" "...I understood...some of those words. Uh, sure, right." "We need to move our asses and fuck shit up." "Ah, okay. Could've just said that, but alright."

Thinks you're kinda scary when you're mad. He'll be the type to try and calm you down, but he understands if it's someone who deserves it. Not that he doesn't find your drawl fun to listen too, especially if someone was being an ass, but he doesn't like seeing you upset.

If the person you're yelling at was being a real big ass, he'll let you yell for a little, but step in. However, if you're doing condescending rage? Oh, go for it, do it all you want. He thinks it's hilarious.

Finds it particularly sweet if you're angry on the teams/his behalf. He can fight his own battles but he thinks it's a big sign of trust, friendship, etc. that you feel the need to defend him.

"Bless your heart, your brain ain't firing off on all cylinders is it, hun? Tsk, that's a shame..." "Excuse me?!" "You're excused, sweetpea. You're not gonna talk to my team that way, but you can turn your happy ass around and walk away. I ain't gonna have you disrespectin' the people who've been fightin' the good fight. Have a lovely day!" "How can you sound so sweet and yet so angry at the same time?" "Southern livin', sugar. Southern livin'."

Gaz is a bit of a foodie type, he likes trying cooking from any area he can go to. Southern cooking would...it'd be a new weakness for sure. A lot of it is unhealthy, yes, but he doesn't give a shit. It tastes good. Sometimes he thinks American food is an absolute sin and a disgrace, and he'll state it as such. Usually, it's stuff you agree on. Like bacon-covered donuts or fried butter. That shit's egregious. But things like southern-style chicken or rib-eye on a grill? You're gonna make him swoon with them roasted vegetables. Cooking for him is a surefire way to make you an unapologetic favorite in his book.

He won't say anything at the little jokes that people jab at you for your accent, but he will tell someone off if they say something that's clearly not funny and upsets you. Like trying to imply you're stupid because you come from Texas. (Speaking from personal experience) He thinks it's such a dumb thing to give someone shit over and he won't hesitate to say they're an idiot for trying to use it against you.

Hates sweet tea, I'm sorry. It's just tea but he can't stand it. He'll drink the unsweetened tea you make, but he'll make a dramatic face if he mixes them up. Something that you always laugh at.

He's great at driving basically any vehicle. Helicopters to mini coopers. He's never controlled a tractor before, but if you sit him in one and tell him the levers, it'll take him like...three minutes to get it down perfectly. Definitely gets a smug ass grin if you show you're amazed.

If he helps get you your call sign, he won't necessarily make it based on where you're from, it'll probably be based on a nickname, skill, or crucial event in your career. (Crash; you were thrown through a window, Hotshot; skill for sniping, etc.) But if he were to have one based on your southern ways? Sweet Tea, both for the fact you make it and the pet name you sometimes call him. (sweet pea)

✧Alejandro Vargas✧

Like Ghost, he's not super fond of Americans. His experience with most Americans are annoying tourists and Graves, leaves a pretty bad impression. He comes across unintentionally snappy when he first meets you, but Rudy will point it out, and he'll correct himself.

You aren't the annoying people he's dealt with and he knows it's not fair to say you are. Definitely talks shit on America though, and he'll honestly give you respect if you do the same. Since he's used to the kind of Americans that think being American give them a right to treat others like shit. He hates entitlement.

If you speak Spanish, he's gonna try really hard to not laugh at how your accent affects some words, but it's really hard. He means it in kind and if you're still learning when you meet him, he's proud when he hears you doing well in comprehension and sentences. Still, sounds just a lil silly.

He loves when your accent gets thick from rage, but he his favorite thing is if you speak Spanish in a rage, with your accent on top of it. It's a combination that fills his brain with serotonin.

"Eres un maldito idiota. ¡Tan útil como las tetas de un toro!" "Wha- Haha! What does that mean?!" "Did they say some super weird analogy?" "Si! They did!" "Yeaaah, they do that a lot."

He's notorious for having a naturally flirty personality, it's just how he's always been. Hence why not much phases him, but he does get a quite wide & genuine grin if you flirt back, making your accent extra intense. Especially with the pet names, another man who likes sweet words.

Thinks you having a southern call sign is really cute, especially if it's something your team calls you exclusively. He thinks it shows your endearment to your team. However, if your call sign is something you insist is only for friends, he'll get super giddy about being allowed to call you it.

If he were to pick? (Belle; Like southern belle whether you're fem! or not, Rodeo, and he might call you Americano- but like, in the coffee way. Like it's a sweet nickname, not just him saying your nationality)

Southern hospitality is something he is not used to. Again, bad experience with Americans. So if you explain all the various manners and nice gestures that are considered expected in your home state? He's completely confused, wondering why the Americans he's met don't keep that attitude up when they leave home.

Again, really likes it if you use southern pet names. Especially if you're trying to console him after a really tough day/mission. For some reason it really helps, like a cup of warm coffee on a cold morning.

"Aye, don't stress yourself over it, darlin'. Bad things happen that we can't control, you did everything you could and you were great at it. Don't let it eat at'cha, honey-bun." "Gracias, Bella. Lo necesitaba…" "Anytime, big guy. Now, you wanna see me try and fail again to open a de la Rosa without breaking it?" "Aha! How about I show you a trick to do it instead?"

Again, like Ghost, you're his special American. Gaz calls you his emotional-support American once and he thinks it's really funny, he'll call you as such every now and then.

✧Rodolfo Parra✧

Sweet darling man. He has nothing against you being American, nothing. But...he cannot understand anything you're saying. He's doing his best but he really doesn't know. He can feel his brain frying every time you bring up something super southern, trying to understand.

He'll have to lean over to your team to ask for a translation, anyone but Soap & Price will tack on an "I think, I'm not sure" at the end of their explanation. If he hears you use a phrase more than once, he'll add it to a little list of notes with the translation underneath it. Treats it like a whole different language. It's adorable.

Like Alejandro, he thinks it's funny if you speak Spanish with your accent. He'll keep a straight face because he knows you can't help it, but man is it fun to hear.

He's not very fond of a lot of yelling if he can avoid it, Rudy prefers disputes to be handled with calm words if possible. But he understands that sometimes it's necessary. Still, he'd want to try and calm you down if you're yelling. But, if you're just acting sickeningly-sweet, kind words that are clearly dripping with venom? He'll just watch. He thinks that shows you handle yourself very well and it's pretty attractive to him, not gonna lie.

"Awww I'm so sorry you're upset, poor thing. God bless you, sir, you have a lovely day. I hope that stick up your ass doesn't hurt too bad." "¡Soldado! No digas eso…" "Shh, sugar, it's fine. He wants to be rude, I can be rude back. An eye for an eye. Don't worry your pretty lil' head bout it, sweetheart." "Dios, a veces me asombras y me aterrorizas."

He's really hesitant about American food. It smells great sometimes but all he hears about American food is that it's greasy, or too salty, etc. Still, he won't deny any meal you make. He thinks it's rude to deny food unless it's something you're allergic to.

He ends up liking a few things, but he is biased to his home cooking. But if you start making his favorite foods, or somehow combine the styles in an honoring way? Oh, those are his favorites. He's particularly fond of American sweets though!

Please bake for this man, bake for him, I beg. Apple pie is an American staple for a reason and he'll jokingly claim he'll move to America if it means he can have apple pie every day.

"Rudy, that's your fourth piece! Ahaha, if I knew you liked it so much I woulda made ya more." "Ay, please do! ¡Fue enviado desde el cielo!" "Alright then, hun, I'll be sure to make you all the apple pie ya want."

Rudy really likes if you wear stuff like a cowboy hat. He's not really sure why, he just thinks it's really cute. If it's a staple of your whole look(like John's hat), seeing you protective over it, he thinks that's really cute. If you're protective of your cowboy hat but let him hold it/put it on his head to hold it, it's gonna fluster him. Even if your guy's relationship is completely platonic.

If you live near the border of Texas & Mexico, it makes visiting you pretty easy, so he'll have no qualms about going back and forth when off duty. He'll be more comfortable in his home but he won't turn down the offer to see your home, especially if it's a ranch. He's got a soft spot for farm animals. (Particularly goats)

If he has any control of how you choose your call sign, he'll likely pick something the same way Gaz does. But, if you have a thing about what certain people call you - like how only Ghost can call Soap "Johnny" - He feels really warm and fuzzy if he gets a special privilege.

(Translations; "Eres un maldito idiota. ¡Tan útil como las tetas de un toro!" - "You're a fucking idiot - as useful as a bull's tits/about as useful as tits on a bull!" "Gracias, Bella. Lo necesitaba…" - "Thank you, bella/beauty. I needed it." "¡Soldado! No digas eso…" - "Soldier! You can't say that..." "Dios, a veces me asombras y me aterrorizas." - "God, sometimes you amaze and terrify me." "¡Fue enviado desde el cielo!" - "It was sent from heaven!")

[ynbabe]

Fake texts au- pt.10 bffs with the rookies+ The Hangover III

I can't believe we're on part 10 already 😭😭😭

| Masterlist |

"How could I? I didn't have my phone?" the girl asked slightly panicked,.

"That's because you had mine," Lando spoke up, tapping on his phone, "You logged into your account from mine," he said showing it to the girl.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME?" She yelled.

"BECAUSE YOU GUYS KEPT RUNNING ONTO THE FUCKING ROAD AND LOGAN AND ARTHUR COSPLAYED SPIDER-MAN" He yelled back.

"Okay, okay," Max put his hands up to calm the two down, sometimes they were so similar he'd want to ask if Lando had a twin separated at birth, "Lando, what did she post?"

"oh oooh, this going to be fun," the boy said, switching to the girl's profile.

its_y/n_love

liked by 21,023 users

Tagged: @/arthur_leclerc @/logansargeant @/oscarpiastri

its_y/n_love me with my Pookie bears everyone say thank you Oscar for paying the Hospital bills 😍

view all 10,874 comments

usernamei SHES GIVINGGG

username she ATE

username they're her pookie bears 😭 she's so unserious I unironically stan her

username a grown woman calling grown men pookie bears 😒 username fr like oscar had to pay for HER hospital bills username he literally payed for Arthurs too but yall ain't gon say none abt that

its_y/n_love

liked by 501,023 users

Tagged: @/arthur_leclerc @/logansargeant @/oscarpiastri @/landonorris

its_y/n_love LANDOOOOOOOOO why he always with his boy tho 🤨

view all 20,874 comments

username omg she's literally living my dream 😫

username fr god i've seen what you've done for others

username omg she's freeloading off him now too?

username give it up she literally just their friend username and even if she wasn’t why would yall treat her differently than any other wag? username look at her man she's literally using them for fame and money

"Well, that wasn't as bad," y/n shrugged.

"That's cause you didn't have your camera roll," Logan snapped back, finally feeling a little more human, the hangover easing down.

"Look who's talking," the Aussie came to y/n's defence, "You're lucky you didn't have YOUR phone," Oscar called out, making the American's face turn red.

"Damnnn Oscar!" The girl praised, colour returning to his face, all were slowly returning to normal, even Arthur had found his way back to the table. Seeing this, the two older men Max and Charles ordered for the table, while Lando, went through more of Y/n's Instagram with the group.

"Honestly, the response isn't that bad, and our PR officers won't murder us, sooo we're good," he said, smiling and logging out of her Instagram account.

"Oh my god," The Monganeseque boy spoke up after being missing for almost half an hour, " I don't think we ate last night," he said shoving the food in his mouth.

The older men expected one of the other three to corroborate the boy's words but they just witnessed four twenty-somethings guzzling down food and large glasses of OJ, lifting plates to slide food into their mouths, letting runny egg yolks and bacon grease getting over their face and hands.

"Fucking hell," Max snarled, "it's like watching animal planet or something,"

"It's disgusting is what it is," Charles agreed, "MERDE ARTHUR, MAMAN RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THIS!" He yelled at his brother who was currently dipping a rolled up pancake in orange juice.

"Oh mate that's fucking disgusting," Y/n scoffed but then followed suit.

"Both of you are insane," Logan cried out, his accent thick, but failed to notice his own disgusting plate, dipping his bacon in maple syrup.

"ugh, there is something mentally deficient with all of you," Oscar frowned.

"Big words for someone mixing coffee into their oj," Lando cringed, taking a photo of the four and their disgusting eating habits.

"I- I can't look at this, I'm leaving," Charles gave up, holding up his hands in surrender, "I have a meeting at Ferrari anyways,"

"Bye, Charles!" the table chorused.

"Oh shit, it's 11am already?" Max called, looking at his watch, "I've got debrief at noon, see you next race, yeah Y/n?" He patted the girl's shoulder as he left.

"Never, again, ever." She yelled out, behind the man, making him laugh.

"Wait really?" The American looked over, bacon in hand.

"Nah, but like I've got uni and stuff and I've been going Arthurs races as well so, I'll probably be back by Britain or Netherlands," she explained.

"Oh yeah I forgot you still go to uni," Lando said.

"Not all of are millionaires cause of our fast vroom vroom cars," she spit back.

"yeah, yeah, " he waved off, "Oscar, Zak's told me to babysit you till our flight tomorrow so you don't do something or someone," he wriggled his brows, smirking at his teammate, making him roll his eyes, "you regret, so let's go and leave that disgusting abomination here," he said pointing to the coffee-orange juice.

"Guy's I don't know about y'all but I'm going go and pass out in the room till next year," The girl said, pushing away from the table.

"Same," The two boys followed.

oooooh this was ✨✨✨ but next we have the summer break chapter 🤭

Taglist: @dark-night-sky-99 @cashtons-wife @i-wish-this-was-me @thehufflepuffavenger1 @eugene-emt-roe @fangirl-dot-com

[ravawrites]

femme fatale

summary: a morally dubious personal investigator takes a holiday to virginia as she had heard that aaron hotchner was in witsec. he was not.

warnings: MDNI!!!!! blowjobs, slight d/s dynamic, slight rough play, open ending.

a/n: This is my first smut like work! so please give me the benefit of doubt as i know i need to improve lol. Hope you enjoyed!! Happy reading <3 SEND ME REQUESTS PLEASE. I know aaron doesn’t come back after witsec but for the sake of plot, he does.

word count: 3062

In the past twelve years you had been everywhere in the world. Paris, London, Milan, Sydney, Nigeria, Moscow, and in forty nine of the fifty states. Every one held a different passport and a different name and accent. There was one state, however, you avoided like the plague. Virginia. Named after the virgin queen, birth place of the first president and home to Quantico, the FBI office and unit chief of the BAU, Aaron Hotchner.

Through the grapevine of criminal connections, you had heard that he had been pushed into WITSEC by Mr Scratch. Him and his son were in Michigan, living a normal life. So you decided to make your way to Virginia.

Your week was spent going around to all the tourist attractions, you had hazy memories of. The Smithsonian, the national gallery of art, and the Lincoln memorial but steering clear of the Capitol. Too risky. Finally, the nightlife.

Holidays in your line of work were rare and short. A night out in a bar, for fun and not information on a suspect was even rarer. You were going out for fun, to get drunk and find someone to pull back into your cheap motel before you were back on the road again. Lightly curled hair twisted around your face, framing it and highlighting the dark, sultry makeup that was precisely painted onto your skin. Dark liner pulling attention to your eyes and a deep red lipstick, surely to leave a mark.

The dress was black, tight, showing everything you had off. It fell around mid thighs that were covered in a silky black stocking that ran down to your feet that were held in expensive black heels. The red bottoms were unmistakable and were a subtle hint at your wealth, steering all of the right people your way.

You’d looked up the bars in the immediate vicinity by your motel. One was a club, that was too young for you, it would be full of college kids looking to score with an older woman. The other was one an older bar with a snooker table and a dart board. This one was too old, filled with older men. The one you’d decided on was called O’keefes. It had a dart board and a moderately sized dance floor. It was the perfect medley between young and old.

The sign outside was glowing red, lighting up the immediate area. Brown wooden doors had little glass windows and you could see the inside was dark with red accent lights, matching the sign in the front. Pushing open the doors, you immediately make your way to the bar and do a scan of the place. The bar was in the middle of the room in a square shape, you sit with your back to the door.

“Can I get a gin and tonic please.” You ask, in a strong french accent, the bartender and she nods, whisking away to go and mix your drink.

“I’ll pay.” A voice says from behind you and you turn around. He’s a blonde, tall, muscular man. “You’re French?” He asks and sits on the red bar stool next to you while nodding to the bartender for a beer.

“Yes, I’m on a vacation?” You say, feigning pauses between your words, giving the impression of changing your dialect to American. “It’s fun here.” You smile at him and rest your chin in your hand.

“Ah I was born here, lived here my whole life.” He tells you and grabs your drinks off of the bartender and you sit and begin to chat. “What do you do for work?”

“I’m an accountant. What about you?” You ask him, not breaking your eyes from his, they were bright blue even in the red light. Not your usual type but he would do.

“I’m a gym instructor.” He comments and subtly flexes. Your toes curl in cringe as he does this but you grit your teeth and make a face of recognition.

“That makes sense, you’re very” You look down and sigh, pretending to think of the word. Looking up you make a grunting noise. You look down again, coyly this time.

“Muscular?” He offers and you make an ‘o’ with your mouth and nod at him. “Yes, I go to the gym every day. I do all sorts of things.” Immediately you had regretted talking to this man. He started to go on and on about all the types of workouts and weights and how long and what muscles it works.

He talked your ear off. He didn’t stop. Your eyes roam around the room, watching all of the other people and they’re conversations that seemed miles more interesting. There was a blonde woman and a bald man having the time of their lives on the dance floor, clearly drunk out of their minds, they looked familiar. The red light bounced around the room and your eyes follow it, taking you on a journey of people watching.

There was another couple, this time in a booth, snogging each others face off. They looked absolutely enamoured with each other. Her hands were in his hair and his hands were on her hips.

Your eyes followed the bouncing light to a round table in the corner of the room. There was a group of five people all laughing and drinking, pointing at the people on the dance floor from a second ago. They were close friends. In the background of your thoughts was the blonde man, still rambling on about the gym and being buff.

The light took your eyes to the door of the men’s bathroom as someone stood out of the doorway. His shoes were black leather oxfords, polished and shining. Black slacks that were perfectly tailored and were tight around his thighs. The same could be said for his white long sleeved shirt, tight across his chest with two buttons undone. A small amount of chest hair peeking out in the gap. Now he was more your type. You looked up to his face to study it.

Your heart drops to your stomach as you take him in. The stool squeaks as you stand up from it quickly and the two of you just stare at each other. You’d also realise you’d walked into a bar full of FBI agents and the one who disliked you the most was looking directly after you. Glancing over to the table of the large group of people you had just observed.

“I am not feeling to well, I have to go.” You say, leaning down to the man, who you didn’t know the name of and watched him look confused. “The gin didn’t sit with me. Goodbye.” You put your hand on his shoulder and grab his beer which he hadn’t touched yet.

You had never been so glad to sit near the door. The split second decision to bolt out of the door was risky. Running out of the bar, you rip the door open and made your way onto the Virginian streets. First mistake, wearing heels. Being a PI provided you with a generous amount of funds. However, expensive heels this high we’re for being walked down the the street in the arm of someone. Not pelting it down paved streets, you already regretted your choice to go out tonight.

Second mistake, coming to Virginia in the first place. You heard the bar door open again and he ran through it, bolting after you. He had the upper hand here, knowing the streets. Quickly, you run into the back alley’s. You didn’t stop running, checking the street signs as you ran. Desperate to get back to your motel, you don’t look back once.

Guessing wasn’t your strong point, you think as you randomly pick another alley to run through, hoping to find some familiarity. All of them started to look the same, maybe you’d already been here, or maybe it was the panic. There was a T shaped turn, you could either go straight foreword or turn right in a couple yards. You run straight foreword.

Suddenly, as you pass the right turn you are slammed against the brick wall. You feel the backs of your tights get stuck to the brick and rip and you wince.

“You prick.” You groan and pull your hands up to shove him off of you. “What you do that for?” Bending down you bring your hands to your knees and puff for breath.

“What job are you on?” He says, with his interrogator voice. Eyebrows creased and shoulders squared to make himself look more threatening.

“I’m not on a job, Hotch.” You tell him and stand up straight, looking at this face close up for the first time in a while. Your mind short circuits for a second as you contain yourself. “You have a beard.”

“You’re always on a job.” He states, clearly not believing you.

“I’m on holiday!” You exclaim, throwing your hands up into the air. “You.” Dragging out the word you point at him. “Are supposed to be in witness protection.”

“How’d you know that?” He asks, confused. He takes a step forward, his chest rising and falling.

“Everyone knew?” You roll your eyes at him. “You had to disappear because of Scratch, you were in Maine.” You shrug. “Now can I please, go back to my motel.”

“No.” He says and takes another step foreword. “You’re a murderer.” He states. “I’ll walk you.”

“Alleged, you have no evidence.” You answer quickly, “You have a bias against me. I’m innocent.” You sigh and start to walk away from him. “We can’t be seen together.”

“I know.” You look at him confused. “To all of those things. But it’s dark, I’ll walk you.” He jogs to catch up to you and the two of you walk at a leisurely pace in the direction of your motel. It’s silent for a while and you take in the streets. “You’re British?” He questions, turning toward you.

“I assumed you knew, all these years.” You laugh slightly. “You have reading glasses yet?” You joke. He doesn’t find it funny. “One day, you’ll laugh.” The silence comes up once again, you swing your arms back and forth. “What did you tell your friends?”

“That I had to go.” He states and you turn into the street of dodgy motels. “Why did you mention my beard?” He asks as he walks you to the door. You turn the key you had in your bra, and lean against the open door way.

“It suits you, you look fit.” You shrug and smile. His face doesn’t move. “It’s a compliment, accept it.” You roll your eyes again and scoff. “You want to come in?” He shakes his head and goes to open his mouth but you interrupt.

“I don’t want to fuck. Calm down.” You walk into your room and wait for him to follow. “Close the door.” You hear it click closed. “It wouldn’t be a good idea for us to have sex again anyway.”

“Why?” He says with a strong breath out of his nose.

“You might get attached.” You smirk at him and he finally laughs. It’s a deep baritone, but silky like honey, you wanted to drown in it. “Also because I think someone knows we’re friends.” You sit down on your bed and pull your red bottoms and frown at the scuffed paint. You look up to him as you peel the ripped tights away from your legs, leaving you in your dress.

“What do you mean?” He asks and you rummage through your bag, pulling out a white envelope. You toss it towards him and watch him pull out pictures of you from vulnerable times throughout the years. “Are these not yours?”

“No, my blackmail is in a safe.” You give him a smile and lean back. “I was served them, like I was being sued.” You explain. “I’m trying to find who’s they are, don’t worry.”

“I will lose my job, if these get out.” He says flicking through them again.

“I know. They won’t.” You assure him and take the photos back, taking them back and sliding them into the envelope. The air in the room feels thick and you bury them back into the bottom of the bag. The dynamic was strange. He didn’t like you because he thought you were a murderer. You didn’t like him because he thought you were a murderer. However, you couldn’t deny the tension the two of you had. You had kept your meetings short for this exact reason, the room heating up. You look up and meet his brown eyes.

“Is that all your things?” He asks and you nod. “It’s not a lot.” He states and stands up rigidly straight.

“I don’t live anywhere for more than a month.” Zipping your bag shut. “I close my cases quickly. You can sit down.”

He waves his hand dismissively. “I should go.” You nod and watch him turn to the door and take two long steps towards it. You never said goodbye. This time though, he hesitated to twist the door knob.

“One more time, couldn’t hurt.” You stand up and the two of you meet half way, wrapping around each other. Your lips hit his neck and you start to suck gently while simultaneously unbuttoning the buttons on his shirt. Your hands dive into the hair on his chest and generally feel him up through the open shirt. “You been working out?”

“Occasionally.” He says nonchalantly as your hands wander south. Down to his toned stomach and your fingers fiddle with the button on his slacks. You look up at him for permission and he nods. Slowly, you use both hands to unbutton them and teasingly pull down the zip. “Hurry up.” He grits and your hand slides inside the trousers but stay over his boxers. You felt him get hard in your hand.

He leans down to your neck and licks up to your ear and whispers. “Get on your knees for me.” You do exactly as your told and lower yourself down to the carpet.

“You’re so lucky you’re hot, this carpet is gross.” You say up to him and pull his black slacks down to his ankles. His mouth perks up at the compliment. You learn on the backs of your feet and wait. Your fingers trail up and down his thigh. He pulls down his boxers and that was a sight you missed.

Just looking at Aaron Hotchner, every one could tell he wasn’t small, in any shape of form. His build was big, his chest was big, his hands were big, you could go on. His dick was certainly big, you observe as he holds it close to your face. “Look up at me.” He instructs and you instantly do what he says.

You didn’t know what view you preferred. On one hand, his dick was pretty. On the other, he had grown a beard out while in WITSEC. They were both equal.

“Can I?” You ask, swiping your tongue over your lip but he cuts you off.

“Patience.” He states sternly. He liked to make you wait. You roll your eyes again but do sit there patiently. He pulls you gently from the back of your head closer to him. You furrow your eyebrows at him, wondering what he was doing. An uncontrollable red flush crawls up your skin as it dawned on you, he was measuring up to your face. Dirty man. He smirks and leans back, “Go ahead.” He finally says and you sigh in relief.

“Patience is not one of my strongest virtues.” You snark and lean in, taking a long, slow lick up his length. In the past few years, you had forgotten what he had tasted like, you didn’t want to forget again. Something you’d never forget was the noise he would make when you finally took him into your mouth.

That groan was music to your ears, a symphony that makes you blush. He’s heavy and warm on your tongue. You look up at him through your eyelashes and his eyes are screwed shut as he pants. Hallowing your cheeks, you slowly bob your head along him.

“Nor is it mine.” He moans out and runs his fingers into your hair. “Can I?” He strokes your hair and you nod, mouth still full of his cock. “Use your words.” He commands and smiles down at you as you pull off of him.

“Yes, you can.” You confirm and he grabs the back of your hair in a fist. He then guides you down on him again, but deeper than before almost breaching your throats and you couldn’t stop yourself from groaning, vibrating on him and the grip on your hair tightens slightly. “Christ.” You feel the leg muscles you have gripped in your hands twitch as he moves his hips forward to meet your movements.

The frequent small spurts of salty taste into your mouth signalled that he was getting closer to the edge. You try not to smirk and you take him deeper and he throws his head back with a throaty groan.

“I’m not going to last long.” He grits his teeth together and his legs twitch again, gripping onto the back of your head as you control your breathing through your nose.

He calls out your name, a word he rarely even whispers. It falls out of his lips as he finishes into yours.

He pulls out of your throat and you swallow, standing up and then perching on the edge of your bed. “Let me pay you back.” He says and takes steps towards your, lips landing on your neck. A soft moan leaves your mouth. But suddenly, the two of you are ripped apart by the phone ringing. He pulls away and answers, it’s not work, you can tell by his softer than usual tone.

“I’ve got to go.” He awkwardly says, pulling his trousers back up and buttoning his shirt. “It’s my son, Jack, he’s ill.” He grabs his wallet that had fallen on the floor in the chaos. “I’ll see you soon.” You follow him to the creaky door to see him out.

“No, you won’t.” He begins to walk away into the dark of the night. “Goodbye Aaron!” You call out into the darkness as he disappears.

[rems-writing]

The prettiest Slytherin

Pairing: Slytherin!Seonghwa × Hufflepuff!oc

Summary: Park Seonghwa is considered untouchable. However, one person can make him fall to his knees. And boy will he do anything for his one and only darling

Warning(s): An oc (original character) named Ajax, simp!Seonghwa (he's so down bad lol), stereotyping (when it comes to the Hogwarts houses lol)

Genre: Fluff with sprinkles of spice and suggestive themes

Nets: @blossomnet @mirohs-aurora-society

Thank you to @bunnliix for helping me decide which name I should pick for my oc

Slytherins are known for being cunning, ambitious, and straight up rude while Hufflepuffs are known to be humble, hardworking, and willing to compromise in order to avoid conflict.

The one thing these houses share in common however? Loyalty.

Park Seonghwa carried the traits of a Slytherin. Minus the rudeness. He was known by many things. Handsome, beautiful, perfect, funny, and kind. The one thing he is however, according to most of the students, including his fellow Slytherin peers?

Untouchable.

Many women wanted him while many men wanted to be him. Hence, the occasional jealous look every time he walked across the hallways to either a class or the grand hall for a simple meal.

Today was just another day for Seonghwa. As he made his way to his next class, he was stopped by his little group of fangirls.

They called themselves shinestars since his name translates to "To be a star" and his name backwards means Mars.

As he gave them his award-winning smile and used his charismatic charm on the already swooning girls, one of them approached him with a bit of fear in her eyes.

"Um... Seonghwa, you need to watch out."

"For what, babe?"

The girl melted before she regained her composure. He had a way with words.

"Apparently, we have a new Hufflepuff student. And before you can assume..."

She looked around to see if that student was listening. When she made sure the coast was clear, she leaned in to whisper softly.

"He's not your average Hufflepuff. In fact... he's probably the scariest one."

The other girls agreed while Seonghwa grew curious.

"Who is this 'scary' Hufflepuff if I may ask?"

All the girls quickly shushed him and tried to move on from this supposed touchy subject. He was slightly annoyed since his interest was piqued. However, he let the girls fawn over him before he made his way to his all-time favorite class.

Astrology.

He sat down in his usual seat and read his textbook, occasionally stopping to say hi to his fellow classmates. As he read his textbook and prepared for class, he felt a presence beside him.

"Ayo. Is this seat taken?"

An American accent. With a deep voice. Seonghwa looked up to see who spoke.

His knees buckled even though he was seated.

Black hair swept back, cold eyes, a clenched jaw, and hands that carried way too much. There were textbooks, notebooks, and his wand in both palms. Afraid his patience was growing thin, Seonghwa quickly spoke, although his voice cracked.

"Of course! You may sit here."

Seonghwa shut his mouth and cringed at the way he sounded overly excited. Luckily, the guy nodded firmly and sat next to him. Seonghwa peeked over at which house he was in and his throat went dry.

The Hufflepuff crest was on his robe. And there was yellow on the inside of his black robe.

This was the 'scary' Hufflepuff the girls were talking about earlier.

But he didn't seem scary.

"Um... so the accent. Are you... from America?"

The guy nodded and Seonghwa took a mental note of that before continuing to speak with him.

"I assume you transferred from Ilvermorny?"

"You could say that. But to put it lightly, I got kicked out of there. For what? I don't fucking know."

The bluntness and abrasiveness of the man's tone caught Seonghwa off guard but the Slytherin found himself being intrigued by him even more.

"I'm sorry that you were unjustly kicked out of there. But allow me to welcome you into Hogwarts."

Seonghwa mustered up his best smile and stuck out his hand. The guy slowly turned to him and shook his hand. Seonghwa almost melted under his touch.

"My name is Park Seonghwa, head boy of Slytherin!" He used his usual introduction but unlike the other first encounters with new students, his hand became clammy the longer it stayed in the guy's hand.

"I'm Ajax."

The man, now known as Ajax, introduced himself shortly and Seonghwa nodded before letting go of his hand quickly.

"Sorry! My hand is a bit sweaty. I don't know why. Maybe it's hot in here. Heh heh!"

Ajax quirked an eyebrow at Seonghwa as he saw the young boy wipe his palm on his robe.

"It's fine."

That was the last thing he said before turning to his textbook. Seonghwa could've sworn he heard Ajax mumble under his breath as the Slytherin fumbled to open his notebook.

Did the 'scary' Hufflepuff call him cute?

---------------------------------------------------

"Ooh! Seonghwa is down bad~"

His friends laughed at and teased him while Seonghwa rolled his eyes and tried to calm his blushing face down.

"Quit it, Wooyoung!"

The loud Hufflepuff giggled and kept eating.

Seonghwa had seven other friends. There was Hongjoong and Mingi from Ravenclaw, San and Jongho from Gryffindor, and Yunho, Yeosang, and Wooyoung from Hufflepuff.

"What? Woo's just stating the obvious, Hwa." Yeosang teased him and Seonghwa groaned dramatically as he sipped on his drink.

Wooyoung's teasing was bad. When Yeosang joined, it was pure chaos. And he's usually the calmer Hufflepuff.

"I have dated both men and women, but never have I felt this way about anyone until he came along." Seonghwa ranted as Hongjoong patted his back.

"Perhaps this could be the one for you. Why not ask him out?"

"Joong, be serious. Hwa can't do anything without that gaggle of girls breathing down his neck." Mingi said bluntly and Hwa sadly agreed.

"They'll most likely push Hwa away from him."

"MINGI!"

"What?! You know I'm right!"

Indeed he was.

Every time Seonghwa tried to approach Ajax, his fangirls would whisk him away. They think they're protecting him but really, they're annoying him. And even if Seonghwa was able to approach Ajax, Ajax would simply roll his eyes and say something horrible like 'Go back to ya lil fangirls' or 'Don't be caught with me unless you want to be unpopular or whatever' before walking away.

Seonghwa knew Ajax didn't mean anything by it yet it still hurt.

He was starting to hate his reputation as the untouchable Slytherin.

"Oop! Look out, Hwa. Here he comes~" San teased him and Seonghwa immediately looked up. His heart began racing upon seeing the sight of him.

His hair was tousled, his robe was open and revealed a white tank top and black slacks, and his eyes were sharp as he hurried over to... wherever he was going.

Before he had the chance to say anything, Yeosang spoke up.

"YO! AJAX! OVER HERE!"

Ajax stopped and saw his fellow Hufflepuff peer waving over at him before sighing and walking over to where Yeosang was.

Imagine his surprise when he sees Seonghwa staring at him with wide eyes and an almost red face. As he sat next to Yunho, he nodded over to Seonghwa, who was nudged by Jongho so the Slytherin can face him.

"You friends with these guys?"

Seonghwa nodded nervously, waiting for another unintentional insult. His heart raced even faster when he saw Ajax smiling slightly.

"That's cool. I hope you don't mind if I spend the rest of my break with you guys."

"That's totally fine!"

Everyone laughed at Seonghwa's excited outburst while Ajax's smile never left his face.

The lunch break still went on and over the course of it, Ajax sat closer to Seonghwa. Seonghwa was a bundle of nerves as he got flustered over everything. From reaching over him to grab something from one of his friends to accidentally brushing against his shoulder to reach for his bag that was behind him.

The nerves got worse when Ajax leaned in to whisper in Seonghwa's ear.

"Meet me outside the dorms and in one of the hidden rooms after everyone goes to bed. We need to talk."

TALK?!

WHAT THE FUCK DID THIS INSANELY HOT MAN WANT TO TALK ABOUT?!

"Um... ok." Seonghwa agreed quietly and Ajax smirking before continuing to speak with the rest of the guys.

---------------------------------------------------

Seonghwa fidgeted nervously as he paced back and forth in the hidden room Ajax informed him about later that night.

What did he want to talk about?

Did he find out about his crush on him?

Just what was going on.

A pair of hands landed on his waist and he was pulled back into a broad chest. A pair of lips ghosted over his ear.

"Hey."

Seonghwa turned around and sighed dreamily upon seeing his boyfriend in the moonlight.

"We don't have to pretend. We're alone now. Come here."

Ajax brought Seonghwa into a warm hug as he spoke softly, which was uncharacteristic of him. Seonghwa gladly returned the hug and looked up at him with big boba eyes.

"I know you didn't mean what you said earlier, but it still hurts."

"I know, mon chère. I know. It's hard to say those things every time I look at you. Those stupid fangirls of yours are relentless! They already painted me as a bad guy and I've been here for a week."

Ajax connected his forehead with Seonghwa's and he sighed shakily.

"I wish we didn't have to hide ourselves. I hate being called untouchable. I hate my reputation. I just want to love you openly!" Seonghwa was upset as he ranted and he swore he felt himself about to cry.

Ajax sighed and brought Seonghwa into a tender and passionate kiss. It was full of love and desperation. Ajax grabbed under Seonghwa's thighs and lifted him so he could wrap his long legs around his waist. As Ajax laid Seonghwa down on the bed, both men thought back to how they first met whilst they slowly undressed each other.

---------------------------------------------------

THREE MONTHS AGO

Seonghwa was waiting for his date to arrive. It had been a while since he last went on a date, let alone a blind one. He was so busy with finals that he forgot that he had a life to live. With the help of his friends, he was dressed in a pristine black three-piece suit with chrome silver jewelry everywhere, ranging from the rings on his delicate fingers to the earrings that Hongjoong made for him.

It had been 30 minutes since Seonghwa arrived at the restaurant and as his patience grew thin, his hope was slowly dying. As he brought out his phone to play games, he felt a presence loom in front of him as they sat across from the table he was seated at.

On the table was Seonghwa's birth flower.

A small bouquet of daises.

"I'm sorry I'm late. Traffic was bad and I had to retrieve my motorcycle from the shop."

A woman's voice wasn't supposed to sound deep...

Seonghwa looked up and he swore it was love at first sight when he saw this god-like man stand in front of him.

Black hair that was swept back, soft brown eyes, and the kindest smile that would make anyone fall in love.

"Oh! I-It's no problem. I'm just glad you m-made it."

Seonghwa cringed at the way he stuttered and the man laughed slightly.

'Oh God... even his laugh is dreamy. Stop it, Hwa!'

Seonghwa practically drooled when the man took off his leather jacket, leaving him in a black dressed shirt that had the sleeves folded up to reveal muscular forearms.

One of them had a half sleeve.

Seonghwa didn't mean to stare at the intricacy of the inked art for too long but apparently, he did since the man decided to tease him.

"What? Got a thing for tats or something?"

Seonghwa blushed and looked away in embarrassment. It was already bad enough that he was caught.

The man would, for sure, freak out if he ever caught a glimpse of the boner that Seonghwa shamefully tried to readjust under the table.

"Well... I certainly do now."

The man laughed and stuck his hand out.

"I'm Ajax. Nice to meet you."

Seonghwa will definitely remember that name for as long as he shall live.

---------------------------------------------------

PRESENT TIME

Ajax was sitting on the edge of the bed, head in his hands as he carded his fingers through his hair. He was deep in thought about everything when he felt slender arms wrap around his shoulders and a pair of plush lips kiss his nape softly.

The same plush lips that screamed his name over and over as they were tangled in the sheets.

"Everything ok, J?"

Ajax's heart fluttered in his chest at the nickname Seonghwa gave him. He sighed and turned around to face his boyfriend before caressing his face.

"Yeah I'm ok. I'm just... lost in thought."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Everything. I don't want to pressure you into revealing our relationship, but at the same time, I don't want you hanging around those girls and allowing them to push me away!"

"I don't do that though -"

"You know what I mean, Hwa."

Seonghwa sighed and brought Ajax back to bed before straddling him and kissing him deeply. As he pulled away, he was satisfied with the way Ajax's lips were swollen from the heated kisses they shared together.

"After this week passes, I will make sure to tell everyone, including my stupid fan club in the Slytherin house, that I am taken. I am so in love with you, Ajax. I will not let this go on any longer. If anyone has a problem with it, too bad. Because you are mine. And I am yours."

Ajax saw the fire and determination in Seonghwa's eyes and smirked before leaning in to kiss along the side of Seonghwa's slender neck. The man moaned loudly as he felt his boyfriend leave hickies on the smooth skin. He retracted his head and smirked before pulling out his wand and waving it over his tatted forearm to reveal the one sign that is an indication of his love for him.

A tattoo with his initials.

Decked out in black and green ink, Seonghwa traced that tat with his fingertips.

PSH

Seonghwa felt tears come to his eyes and Ajax noticed his trembling form before he brought him into a hug.

"They say you're untouchable. Well... wait until you see their reaction when they realize that this 'scary' Hufflepuff bagged the prettiest Slytherin in all of Hogwarts." Ajax stated proudly.

"We'll show them, my darling. We'll show them." Seonghwa stated proudly before he fell back into the arms of his beloved Hufflepuff.

[wandafiction]

Pancakes And L Bombs - Just Us Chapter 35

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3861

Series List | Chapter 34 | Chapter 36

================================

"I'm hungry." Tommy interrupts Nathaniel's story about something that I have no clue about, he just keeps babbling on about aliens and space but we are all still huddled together just listening. 

"Me too." Billy pipes up.

"Me three." Nathaniel looks at me from the end of the bed.

We have all shuffled around, since I kept losing feeling in my limbs with everyone on top of me. I am currently in the center of the bed, sitting up with my back to the headboard, Wanda is laying down on my left with her head in my lap as I weave my hand through her hair and allow her to play with my fingers of my other hand. She is so cute and very much just like a puppy who loves attention. Nathaniel is sitting with his tiny butt on my shins, his legs in the small gap between mine as he leans back a little against my feet using them as a cushion. 

Tommy seems to be like his mom when it comes to physical contact as he is on my right side leaning against me, with my arm wrapped around his shoulders he has one hand on his lap while the other is holding onto Wanda's free one that is resting on my leg. Billy seems to have become quite protective, much like an older brother, towards Nathaniel because he is currently sat behind Nathaniel. Behind my feet because I am not dealing with two humans on my leg. His arms wrapped haphazardly around his little body, as he rests his chin on the crown of his head. Billy is also allowing Nathaniel to play with his hands, which consists of a lot of pulling of his fingers and clapping his hands together. It is so cute my heart can't take it.

"You hungry Wanda?" Her head turns upwards to look at me, a small smile plastered on her face.

"I could say yes to some of your famous pancakes." I look around at the other faces.

"Pancakes good with everyone else?" Everyone nods their heads excitedly at me. "Good because I make some killer pancakes and I haven't made them in a while."

Now even though me and Wanda are all cuddly at the moment we haven't actually told the boys about us, and when I say boys I mean Tommy. But it's not hard to see what's right in front of you, and I wish I could read Wanda's mind to know what she is thinking right now. I know Billy knows and is perfectly okay with it, Nathaniel is too young to know 100% what's happening but he is also not supid. Tommy keeps giving me a look, not a threatening or confused, but he looks at me then down to his mom and just smiles back up at me. I think he knows, no I know he knows but I also think Wanda wants to tell him just so everyone is on the same page.

"I can hear your thoughts from down here Y/n." I'm broken out of my train of thought by Wanda's raspy voice. I can hear a small amount of her accent present in her voice. I noticed she hides it more in front of her friends but it comes out when she is with her boys.

"You can speak normally Wanda, I think Nathaniel would find your accent pretty cool." She snuggles her face more into my lap and I feel her smile against me.

"You have an accent? That's so freaking cool, American people are so boring!" Nathaniel lifts himself a little so he can shuffle up my body, his feet are now against mine and his stomach is on my legs as he rests his head on my thighs to look up at Wanda.

"I do indeed little one?" I fawn over Wanda as she lets her full accent slip out, removing her hand from mine and gently weaving it into Nathaniel's short hair before cupping his cheek. 

"Woah. I love it." I feel Wanda giggle into my lap as she rubs her thumb against Nathaniel's cheek and he leans into her touch more. 

"Even though I am enjoying sitting in bed doing nothing, I need to get up to make pancakes." I say out loud as my stomach grumbles and Nathaniel laughs against my leg while Wanda turns her head to look at me.

"That was right next to my ear." She whines up at me cringing at the thought of the sound.

"Well if you got up from her lap she could go and make food then you can relax against her all you want without weird whale noises ruining the moment." Billy gives his mom a cheeky grin and I lean across to high five him.

"Your child is right. Up or no pancakes." I hear Wanda gasp and scramble to get off my lap.

"Rude, that is rude. You can't threaten me with no pancakes to get your way." She pouts at me knowing exactly what she is doing and I have to refrain from kissing her.

"She's right though mama she can't cook pancakes if she is still in bed." I laugh aloud when Wanda's hand makes contact with Tommy's thigh at his cheekiness but he earns a high five from me.

"I'm up see, not on her lap she can easily get up and go." Wanda tries to act angry but the small smile on her face doesn't go unnoticed by us. 

"Aww is mama all sad she is going to miss out on her big Y/n bear hugs." Billy moves to sit next to Wanda bumping her shoulder as she grumbles. 

"Nope. Not one bit." Wanda tries to act stern but it's really not working and me and the boys are trying hard not to laugh.

"So you're saying if Y/n left this room right now without giving you a hug. Just up and left to make food, you would be okay and wouldn't chase after her for a cuddle?" Tommy leans his head forward looking past me to his mom to see her reaction, she grumbles a little and sticks her tongue out at the boy.

"No, I mean yes I would be completely fine." Wanda's arms are crossed against her chest as she sits criss-cross applesauce sauce trying to force a pout onto her lips. 

"Should we test it out. Y/n, Nathaniel, let's go make those pancakes." Billy climbs off the bed leaning over to grab Nathaniel holding him against his chest to carry him downstairs. 

I turn to see Wanda's eyes widen slightly but she regains her composure a little still trying to act like it won't bother her. Her hands land in her lap, starting to fiddle with her fingers as she looks down at them hiding her true emotions. Oh my poor baby. Billy taps my foot to bring me out of my thoughts and I slide my butt along the bed slowly until I'm at the edge. Wanda hasn't moved but I can see her look at me through the corner of her eye. Okay then let's see how long she lasts.

I push myself off the bed turning back to see Tommy has a smirk on his face and his waving his hand at me to keep going. So I do. Billy and Nathaniel exit the room first while I hold the door open for them. Tommy is still on the bed with his mom and I tilt my head in question but he just waves me off trying to get a reaction out of his mom. 

As I exit the threshold of the bedroom, I hear the bed sheets rustling and the padding of feet against the carpeted floor. I feel her arms wrap around me from behind, her head between my shoulder blades squeezing me tightly. Her hands come to rest on my abdomen, I remove them gently, hearing a protesting whine leave her lips but she smiles at me when she realises I am just turning around to look at her. I wrap my arms over her shoulders bringing her face to my chest, I can feel her leave small pecks against it obviously not caring that the boys can see it too.

"Okay you got me. I like cuddles." Tommy and Billy laugh while Nathaniel awws which makes Wanda's smile grow. 

"Never do that again." Wanda looks up at me with pleading eyes.

"Never."

"Promise."

"I promise." I look past Wanda to see Tommy with a huge smile on his face looking at his mom, then to me and his smile seems to grow.

"Mama, why don't we let the boys and Y/n cook us pancakes." Wanda turns to look at Tommy as he suggests the idea.

"Um, okay. Everything alright?" Her eyes look worried as she looks back to me and I can guess what is going on in that beautiful mind of hers.

"I will leave you two to talk." I bend down slightly to whisper to Wanda. "He looks happy Wands try not to worry."

"Wands?" She smiles so bright I swear I need sunglasses. 

"Yeah, I thought I would try it out. You like it?"

"I do."

"Good. Now we will be downstairs when you guys are done."

"Okay." I let go of Wanda as she takes a few steps back in the room, my eyes go to Tommy who smiles and nods at me.

I turn around heading downstairs to join the boys who are already in the kitchen getting all the pans and mixing bowels out. I smile when I see the sight. Nathaniel is on the counter top swinging his legs in the air as Billy searches the cupboards for everything we need to make the pancakes. Nathaniel lists a few things he wants with his pancakes and Billy easily follows and grabs stuff out of the fridge, smiling at Nathaniel's smile. 

"Did we win?" Is the first thing Billy asks me upon entering the kitchen.

"We sure did." He comes up to me, for what I expect is a high five but in reality he hugs me tight. As he is hugging me I realise how tall he is as his head comes to just in line with my chin. "You're taller than your mother. I bet she hates that?"

"Yeah, I inherited my dad's tall genes and Tommy seems to have inherited my mom's height."

"Well she is still quite tall."

"Yes but not as tall as us." I see him look past me, so I turn my head to see Wanda leaning against the door frame as Tommy makes his way into the kitchen tickling Nathaniel as he passes. "Hey mom." 

"You two good there. You need a moment?" Wanda smiles at the sight as Billy is still hugging me.

"No, we are good just celebrating our win."

"Your win?" She curls an eyebrow in question.

"Yeah about how you can't keep your hands off Y/n." I choke on my spot and Wanda's face turns a dark red at Billy's choice of words. "Ew gross no I meant how you like physical touch….you know what never mind you know what I mean."

Billy playfully pushes me off of him in fake disgust, and I hold my hands up in surrender. He makes his way back to the ingredients and starts to measure them out for me while Tommy turns on some light music and starts dancing and singing in front of Nathaniel who is giggling his head off, wiggling his butt against the counter with the music. Wanda is still leaning against the door frame so I send her a small wink, which she smiles widely at, before I make my way to Billy to start making the food.

(Wanda PoV)

I watch as Y/n heads out of the room to go and make us all some food, turning around I see Tommy on the bed sitting criss-cross applesauce with a small smile on his face. He pats the space next to him, and I feel my stomach drop through my ass with nerves. Holy shit. I know that he knows that I know he knows, and all he is doing is smiling at me and patting the bed. How is he so calm? I take in a deep breath before releasing it through my mouth, making my way over to the bed. I place myself on the left hand side of the bed, my back against the headboard and pull the covers over my legs slightly because they are getting a little cold where I am in shorts and a shirt.

Tommy shuffles his butt across the bed to sit in front of me so I pull my legs up slightly, folding my arms on top of my knee and placing my chin on the back of my hands. I tap my foot against the bed as my nerves begin to build up, biting the corner of my lip to try and calm myself down a little and bring me back to my son who is sitting in front of me. I wearily search his eyes for any sort of emotion, but before I can get a definitive one he raises his hands up taking one of mine into each of his and starts rubbing his thumbs along my knuckles. 

"It's okay mama." I feel my lip start to quiver and the tears threaten to make an appearance. "I just want to ask a few things. Is that okay?"

"Sure honey." He brings my hands together clasping them inside his and the warmth I feel from them calms me down a little.

"How did you two meet?" Tommy and Billy have always been protective of me, Tommy more so than Billy so I expected questions. I'm just not sure which questions to expect, so I am going to be open and honest with him.

"We met at a bar, when I went out with my friends." He keeps rubbing his thumbs against my knuckles, not once does he stop knowing it will help keep me calm.

"Does she know about dad?" Okay I didn't expect that question, I furrow my brows slightly but relax when he reassures me that he just wants to know more about the situation.

"She does. She knows we divorced two years ago, she knows how he cheated and is with the very same woman. She knows that he wasn't the best husband but is a good father to you." 

"Okay, I just wanted to make sure I could talk about dad in front of her."

"You can. She lets me talk about him when I need to rant about something he did or didn't do in the past." I smile at the memory of her telling me it's okay to talk about.

"That's really amazing of her."

"Mhmm, she's amazing."

"She is. Next question." I look up to meet his eyes only seeing love in them. "How long have you been together?"

"I asked her last Saturday. She said yes obviously." Tommy laughs a little, shaking his head at me and looks right back at me with those oh so caring eyes.

"How long were you seeing her before that?" I stay quiet as I do the maths in my head.

"Something like two weeks. It's the 2nd right?" I'm still trying to work it out, but am amazed at how quickly we are moving. It's quite scary but it just feels so right.

"Yeah, we are in October now mama."

"Okay, then yeah about 2 weeks before I asked her out. We met on the 10th of September and I asked her to be my girlfriend on the 25th." Tommy nods his head a little as he takes in the information.

"So you guys are moving quite quickly. How are you feeling about that?"

"So many things Tommy. It's scary how much I feel towards her in just this short amount of time. It's scary and nerve racking but at the same time it feels amazing and I feel so safe with her. It's like I am feeling every emotion all at once but the one that stands out the most is…."

"Love." My eyes widen slightly and stay locked to Tommy's. "You love her mama. Don't you?"

"I do. So, so much Tommy." I see a huge smile grow on his face causing his eyes to almost close. My nerves all but dissipate at this point as a matching smile grows on my face at my admission of my feelings. "I really do love her."

"Does she treat you right?" 

"Amazingly Tommy, you saw how she was this morning." He nods for me to continue. "Well she is like that everyday. She cares about what I have to say, and what I'm feeling. She is so patient with me, as this whole thing is new I'm still learning about myself and she has been there with me the whole time. She answers my questions with no judgement, especially when I think it's a stupid question but she simply tells me that I am allowed to ask those question. Tommy she is just, ugh, words can't describe it." 

"She sounds truly amazing, mama. I'm so happy to be able to see you smile like this again, to be able to feel safe and comfortable with whatever it is you are thinking or feeling. One last question. Are you happy?"

"Tommy there are not enough words in the dictionary to describe how I am feeling. I just feel so buoyant and exuberant. It's exhilarating, truly it is. This feeling is so euphoric and freeing. I never thought anyone could make me feel this way." I struggle to wrap my head around what I am feeling let alone describe it to someone but the smile on Tommy's face lets me know he gets it.

"I'm so happy for you mama." I see a tear escape his eye and I feel my own eyes sting with tears at my boy's words, my lips turning downward slightly as I try to control my emotions. But when he lurches forward and brings me into a hug, I wrap my arms around him and hold onto his t-shirt for dear life. 

He lets me cry, happy tears, into his shoulder for as long as I need as his hands rub up and down my back helong to calm me down. He whispers sweet nothings into my ear just repeating how happy he is for me and how he can't wait to get to know Y/n more. When I finally pull away from the embrace, wiping what's left of my tears, I cup Tommy's face with both hands making sure he is looking at me when I ask him what I'm about to ask him.

"Are you happy with Y/n being a part of our lives more? Now don't lie, tell me the truth."

"I'm extremely happy mama. I really like her and I know Billy does too. We really like Nathaniel too, he is like a little brother already." 

"I love you Tommy." I kiss his forehead before climbing off the bed and ushering him to follow me downstairs.

"I love you too mama." He kisses me on the cheek and heads into the kitchen as I lean against the doorframe. 

I've been watching Y/n and the boys, well Billy because the other two are having a dance party, cooking the pancakes and the sweet aroma filling my lungs. I haven't moved from the door frame too in awe at the sight in front of me, afraid that if I moved the moment in front of me would end. Billy bumps his hip against Y/n as she wipes pancake mix onto his face, but he gets her back almost immediately by wiping both his grubby hands on her face. At first I'm not sure how she will react because her body freezes, and she turns to look at Billy as he takes a step back. I relax a little when an evil grin makes its way onto Y/n's face and she reaches out her arms to grab Billy by the waist and tickles him. 

His screams of laughter fill the kitchen, making the other two boys stop their dance party and turn around. Billy's legs are flailing in the air as he tries to escape Y/n's grasps, but his brother decides to team up with her and wraps his arms around his legs to keep them still. Nathaniel decides he wants to join in so starts tickling Billy's feet, Tommy informing his brother to try not to kick around so much.

Once he pleads with them to stop, Y/n ushers the other boys away, placing Billy back on the ground so he can catch his breath and compose himself. She asks if he is okay, and he lets out a tired 'yeah I'm good'. From all the playfulness the kitchen and the children, yes that includes Y/n, are covered in pancake mix and other ingredients. 

"Right boys, why don't you go get showered and sorted while I make a fresh batch of pancakes. They should be done by the time you get downstairs and then I can take a shower and get myself cleaned." Y/n grabs a kitchen towel wiping her face off as best she can as the boys let out a chorus of okays moving past me to head upstairs but not before I give all three of them a peck on the forehead as price for passage out of the kitchen.

Y/n sways her hips as she walks over to me slowly snaking her arms around my hips to pull me closer, I let a small gasp out at the contact between our bodies. I look up into her eyes full of so much emotion, my heart feels like it's about to explode with the way she is looking at me. I couldn't care less right now that she is covered in pancake mix, as I snake my arms around her waist resting my head gently on her chest. I breathe her in, the smell of vanilla and cinnamon fills my airways and I smile at it. I love how she smells. 

I look up at her resting my chin on her sternum, as she puts her chin down towards her neck so she can look at me. We have what feels like a silent conversation as our eyes move in sync with one another. My breath is taken away from me as the light catches her eyes and the amber and blue burn so brightly it almost hurts. I lick my lips to wet them standing on my tiptoes, slowly moving my lips to hers as they dance together. When air becomes an issue I pull away to look back up at her. This is it. This is what I want to feel like the rest of my life, I am certain.

"I love you."

================================

[suseagull04]

Hello, a little prompt for your ficlet Friday if you like: Everything is telling Henry not to. (RWRB of course!)

Have fun! ❤️

Everything in Henry is telling him not to.

Thanks to American movies he’s seen every now and then (only when he and Pez decided to make fun of them, of course), his idea of a college frat party does not appeal to him in the slightest. Bodies pressing up against him on all sides, overheating from the size of the crowd, and music so loud he can't hear the person next to him? No thank you. He'll take a quiet night with Jane Austen (a film or one of the books) any day of the week.

Eventually Pez somehow convinces him to come, though, so now here he is, awkwardly standing in the corner of the room, just itching to have his book back in his hands, but Pez had confiscated it before they even left the apartment, telling him, “You need to put your fairy tales away, or you'll never find the Prince Charming you've always been dreaming of.”

Henry begged to differ- after all, what did Pez know?

He couldn't say anything, though- he never could. Pez was great when Henry needed a friend to be a good listener, but he always thought he knew what was best when it came to social situations. Truth be told, maybe he did- but that didn't mean Henry was always comfortable with the situations Pez got him into.

Like now, for instance. Pez had abandoned him long ago, drawn into the arms of some guy who seemed to be just as flamboyant as he was. Meanwhile, Henry was sitting at the edge of the crowd, trying not to cringe at some of the things going on around him.

“You look a little lost. Can I help you find something- or maybe someone?”

Henry looked up into the biggest pair of chocolate eyes he had ever seen in his life. They belonged to a man who, if Henry stood up, would probably be much shorter than him, and Henry found that endearing. After all, not many guys fell into that category.

“Come on. You're way too hot not to have somewhere better to be.” The guy smirked.

“Excuse me?” Henry sputtered. He definitely wasn't used to hearing that. He stood. “I'm getting out of here.”

“Are you maybe looking for this?”

Henry spun around so fast he was a little surprised he didn't trip and fall. The guy was holding Henry's book in his hand, that infuriating (and annoyingly attractive) smile still on his face.

Henry tried to reach for his book, but the guy hid it behind his back again. “Give me one dance. Maybe you can tell me all about your book?”

Henry's mouth fell open. “You… actually want to hear about Jane Austen?”

The other guy smirked, holding out his free hand. “With that accent, I'd listen to anything you said, sweetheart. I'm Alex.”

Henry shook it. “Henry.”

With that, he was swept away by Alex, blending into the crowd of other dancers.

True to his word, as they danced, Alex asked him all about Mansfield Park, his intelligence above and beyond what Henry had first thought.

Maybe this party wouldn't be so terrible after all.

[therealdeathoracle]

I have a bunch of quotes from my old coworkers at my last job so I made incorrect quotes from the bsd characters. If this one is liked I can make another with quotes from my family I also have

Ranpo: “Jesus Christ it’s Pretzel Borne.”

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Kenji: *accidentally kicks the water fountain*

Atsushi: *holds out hand* “Stop it.”

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Kunikida: “Don’t worry, we made it, Dazai’s gone.”

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Dazai: “Olaf doesn’t turn me on, but Sven does.”

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Akutagawa: *in the distance and very unenthusiastically* “Run Forest run.”

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Nikolai: *in a bad Russian accent* “OH MY GOATS! FYODOR, BRING IN THE AR15!″

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Atsushi: *playing with a cup of straws*

Kyouka: *takes the cup away to put more straws in it*

Atsushi: *trying to grab the cup* “Why?!”

Kyouka: *hands the cup back*

Atsushi: *knocks cup over and throws straws everywhere* “Am cat.” *runs away*

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(All over a radio)

Fukuzawa: *talking loudly*

Ranpo: *cringes really hard*

Fukuzawa: “Mind your business Ranpo.”

Ranpo: “You’re making my ears bleed, Fukuzawa.”

Fukuzawa: *quieter* “Oh, really?”

Ranpo: “Yeah, it’s fine though.”

Fukuzawa: *whispering* “Oh you sweet child, I am so sorry.”

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Ranpo, Kenji and Dazai: *chanting cheese*

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Teruko: “Jouno was in a good mood today.”

Tachihara: “Oh? Something must’ve happened, did Tecchou die?”

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Dazai and Ranpo: *aggressively singing Africa*

Atsushi: *starts playing Africa on his phone*

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Chuuya: “Hi, would you mind signing your rights away real quick?”

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Tecchou: *whispering* “Jouno”

Jouno: *screaming from the other side of the building* “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT NOW TECCHOU?”

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Ranpo: “DAD NO!” *oven starts screaming*

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Kunikida: “The world is gonna end in 3 months, but you don’t care! You don’t care about inflation!”

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Yosano to Dazai: “If you fall on the box cutter and bleed out and die then can we use you as a promotion for Suicide Squad?”

——————————————————————————

Dazai: “What’s the best way to traumatize a child? Shave their head!”

——————————————————————————

Kunikda: *puts an American flag pin he found on the floor on his shirt and immediately takes it off* “Actually in hindsight I don’t want someone to think I’m a crazy republican... I’ll give it to Dazai.”

——————————————————————————

Chuuya: “Have fun.”

Akutagawa: “I won’t but thank you though.”

——————————————————————————

Kyouka: “Do you want to see my PowerPoint on Halloween costumes?”

——————————————————————————

Nikolai: *in a bad Italian accent* “It’s a me a Mario you dirty ass bitch!”

——————————————————————————

Akutagawa: “Are you having fun?”

Gin: “No... are you?”

Akutagawa: “No.”

——————————————————————————

Dazai: “I do need serious help, but not for this.”

——————————————————————————

Ranpo: “My mouth is like a popper.” *starts making pop cat sounds*

——————————————————————————

Atsushi: “Kyouka! You’re fucking crazy!”

Kyouka: *holding an extremely hot piece of metal with her bare hands* “I’m sorry?”

——————————————————————————

Ranpo: *sitting on the floor in a massive pile of popcorn* “So... uh... Santa’s sack broke?”

——————————————————————————

Yosano: *finding out she has covid at 11:59 on New Year’s Eve* “WELL HAPPY NEW YEAR I GUESS!”

——————————————————————————

Ranpo: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?”

——————————————————————————

Kenji: “Let’s play Pictionary!”

Dazai: “Oh no.”

Kenji: “AND NO IT IS NOT A PENIS!”

——————————————————————————

Chuuya: *high out of his mind* “I am not high, I am medicated.”

——————————————————————————

Fukuzawa: “I AM THE PRESIDENT!”

——————————————————————————

Akutagawa: “Why do you need a little hole?”

Chuuya: “Just in case, you know?”

——————————————————————————

Dazai: *stamps Kunikida with a void stamp* “You didn’t get a D!”

Kunikida: *grabbing his pants* “Then what’s this?”

Dazai: “Not a D.”

——————————————————————————

Tecchou: “Cooled pillow water would be a great invention.”

Jouno: “I am terrified by what cooled pillow water could be.”

——————————————————————————

Chuuya: “What kind of boss do you think I am? A good one??”

——————————————————————————

Gin: “Behead him!”

——————————————————————————

Chuuya: “What did you say to me?”

Akutagawa: “Gin said you’re the coolest guy she’s ever met.”

Gin: “No no, get your facts straight. I said, YO CHUUYA THE COOLEST MOTHERFUCKER I’VE EVER MET!”

Chuuya: “Now that’s more accurate.”

——————————————————————————

Tecchou: *still talking about what cooled pillow water would be*

Jouno: “You are not going to convince me that you didn’t piss on your pillow and are trying to make up for it.”

——————————————————————————

Fukuzawa: “Do I ask why you chose to play a female gnome and not a male?”

Ranpo: “We needed a minority.”

——————————————————————————

Ranpo: *extremely offended* “Do you not like pepper on your salt?”

——————————————————————————

Dazai: “Chuuya is a World War II!”

——————————————————————————

Kenji: “As an empath I sense you’re having love troubles.”

Dazai: “Nah man that’s just the depression.”

——————————————————————————

Chuuya and Dazai: *Thursday, August 25th 2022, 2:30pm-9:00pm... Incident: The “Fuck You” Day*

——————————————————————————

Dazai: “You know what?... Unfucks your mom!”

Akutagawa: “My mom?”

Dazai: “Yes.”

Akutagawa: “Ok.”

——————————————————————————

Chuuya: “I just fucking wanna get these balls in... DON’T take that out of context!”

@stinkyme

[fourmula1]

Post a snippet of the onlyfans fic!!!!!!

ok but this is about adult content creators so there is virtually nothing i can share that isn't porn.... so. proceed ~with caution lol.

-

Daniel has been watching the guy’s clips for awhile now.

It surprised him at first when he scrolled through @orgasmax’s twitter and saw the clips he posted.

@Orgasmax getting fucked against a window, getting fucked on his back while his tits bounced, getting fucked on his knees while he unabashedly moaned for it. He was loud, so vocal, clearly absolutely loving it. He never showed his face; so many of the clips were headless, or with his back to the camera. Glimpses of his plush lips sometimes but nothing more. Anonymous. Hot.

And he had an accent. Something not-American, something Daniel couldn’t pinpoint, but he had a raspy voice and he wasn’t afraid to show whoever was fucking him that he was having a good time. Loud, vocal, always saying how good it was, how much he loved it. And Daniel could tell that he wasn’t putting it on for the camera. Daniel had fucked plenty of guys on camera and he always cringed a little at how fake some of them were with their over-the-top moans or calling him ‘daddy’. It wasn’t natural. Not like this guy was. He clearly was really enjoying himself, and that made it all the hotter for Daniel to watch.

There was no link in his twitter bio to an Only Fans page, like Daniel and a lot of the men he filmed with had.

No links in any of his tweets.

His bio was simple: max. all pics & vids are me. 18+. dm for collabs.

It seemed that @orgasmax filmed and posted clips of his hook-ups for the joy of it and nothing more. He had over a hundred thousand followers and the engagement on his clips was insane.

Hundreds or even thousands of likes, retweets, endless comments about how sexy he was, how wet he got, how much he loved taking dick. He could be making bank selling his content but instead, here it was, free on twitter. Damn.

Daniel kept returning to one particular clip Max had posted. 45 seconds long. Shot in full body profile, Max stood with hands braced against a floor-to-ceiling window, just a little bit bent over at the waist, the sun beaming in as he got fucked from behind. The heads of both men cut off from view but that wasn’t the point. The point was Max was getting railed against the glass, moaning and whimpering for it, fucking whining for it, and shooting so much fucking cum untouched, glistening in the sunlight, that Daniel had to squeeze himself a little to take the edge off.

That seemed to be a particular talent of his, and Daniel scrolled through watching him, time after time, coming hands-free and shooting massive, thick loads all over himself. Or the window. Or the floor. The best part was that he stayed hard and could come again, Daniel discovered.

He’d never seen anything like it, never filmed with anyone who could come multiple times in the same session, never been with anyone who got so hard and so wet his cock shot – not dribbled – pre-cum out. All over his belly, smearing and shining in the light of each clip. Dripping down when he was stood getting nailed from behind, camera positioned between his feet, pre-cum even dribbling onto the fucking camera lens a time or two. Dribbling out of him when his tops nailed his prostate just right, spurts shooting out like it was nothing. It was so hot.

Daniel scrolled back up to ‘like’ the clip of Max getting railed against the window. He was going to revisit that one later. On a whim he hit ‘follow’, too, and then went back to his DMs to scroll through all the hot dick pics waiting for him.

[calamity-unlocked]

Random memory that just resurfaced. I remember sitting in a small local bus that was traveling for two hours down Northern California, deep in the middle of nowhere, Redwoods area, and I was talking to this young lesbian (maybe nonbinary?) couple from Chicago.

And then at another stop, in steps this guy. Big guy. Red-faced, long scruffy beard, leather jacket, snapback cap with an American flag. I'm a very tall woman and I felt tiny compared to him.

And he spots us, and heads straight towards us in this van of a bus. Walks with purpose, just striding forward with big steps. I see the couple next to me pale a little. They quickly let go of each other's hands.

He sits down on the row of chairs in front of us, turns around to face us, claps his hands on his thighs, and goes "Couldn't help but hear the accents, where are y'all from?"

And he's just this really excited man who wants to make some conversation and loves to hear about my travels, and when I'm done he immediately goes on a full story about his motorbike collection and his old roadtrips.

The couple is a little quiet, but eventually one of them pipes in every now and then. Then they drop that they live together.

The man's eyes go wide. "Wait, you two are..." I see the couple kinda cringe, they're Americans, they've probably been through this more time than I have. I, straight-passing, already kind of square my shoulders, about to make it clear I'm not gonna take shit from him.

But this man, in delight, just gasps. "Like Dykes On Bikes!!!" he all but yells though the bus.

Cue fifteen minutes of him talking about various Dykes on Bikes groups he's encountered and how much he absolutely loves them. It was utterly wonderful.

[misdeliria]

We're Bonding (Simon Ghost Riley)

Simon's nose scrunches beneath his mask at the foul stench that greets him as he steps outside. The frigid breeze is a relief after the whiskeys he's had, but it wasn't his objective to escape the stuffy bar.

His eyes land on you, standing along the side of the building a few yards away. Simon instantly imagines you're out for a cigarette but re-evaluates his knowledge of your character and makes the connection to the skunk smell.

They called you Flower, and it quickly became apparent after a few deployments where the endearment came from. Simon saw it differently, though.

He thought you were too pretty to be a weapon of war. How sweating made you glow and, somehow, smell even better, and the relaxed way you carried yourself – obnoxiously unburdened. Although, he knew better. He's seen you in action plenty of times and recognized that icy look in your eyes when your life is in jeopardy.

"You authorized to use that, Sergeant?" He asks, stepping up to you with a hardened gaze at your lips and the stream of smoke.

"All due respect, sir, I'm off duty," you lazily glance his way, and he notes the muddled hue of your sclera in the dim lighting. "And you're not allowed to ask me that."

Simon initially hated that you were American. Your accent made him cringe whenever you spoke up during meetings, but he'd confess that it was beginning to grow on him.

You were beginning to grow on him.

"Permission to offer you a hit?" You carry a playful tone, and you're not looking at him, but Simon tenses.

"Negative."

You shrug, unbothered, and maybe a little bored. "Didn't think so. Wanted to be polite."

"You have a light?" He doesn't know what comes over him as he pats his cigarettes from his pockets and carefully pulls his mask up to the bridge of his nose.

You don't offer to light it for him, simply handing him a dirty, scratched-up Bic lighter to use for himself. Simon can feel your burning gaze the whole time he tilts his head and braces the little flame against the wind. The pleasant spins from the nicotine reaching his head is enough to finally take his attention away from you. Only for a moment.

Simon leans against the wall beside you, less than a foot away from your more petite shoulders. He knows you're staring at him and can feel the Cheshire grin across your face paired with your bleary eyes.

"Are we having a moment?" You chirp, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning over to bump your arm against his.

"We're out for a smoke," Simon deadpans, refusing to give in to your excitable nature. "Don't do your head in thinking anything of it."

"Yeah, but be honest," you purr, twisting your lips to blow in the other direction. "We’re bonding right now. You're warming up to me."

"You're part of this team," he states matter-of-factly, but it elicits a lazy giggle from you.

"You wouldn't have said that when I first came around," you remind him, and Simon feels a stab of guilt at the initial unpleasant energy he'd sent at you.

"You weren't then. You are now," he says with finality. "Reckon, you've earned it after that last run."

"Are you telling me I did well?" You wonder with a hopeful expression, and Simon has to suppress his lips from pulling into a smile – fully aware you have a visual on half of his face.

He sighs with closed eyes, exasperated by your insightfulness and unreasonable need to apply subtext in conversation.

"If you need me to say it, you did fine," he tells you. "You didn't die, and you did your job. It was nicely done."

Simon glances in your direction and gets stuck on your soft smile of delight. His world suddenly goes still. He wonders if he's gotten second-hand high, despite your efforts to keep the smoke away from him, but the spell is broken a moment later; when you open your mouth.

"You think I do a nice job?"

Simon cringes while rolling his eyes, putting effort into finishing his cigarette to escape you.

"You're a twat, Sergeant."

"No, seriously," you laugh, reaching out and resting a hand on his arm. "I appreciate it a lot. I like being told I'm doing well. It encourages the best performance from me."

Your nonchalant demeanor forces Simon to pedal back over your words, heat rushing to his crotch and flushing his cheeks once he's repeated your confession to himself twice over.

"Acknowledged, Sergeant," he remarks, throwing the butt of his cigarette to the ground and crushing it under the toe of his boot. "Don't spend all your time out here."

He marches back inside with a stiff member pressing against his trousers, overhearing the way you hum to yourself as he leaves. And he hears the soft, "Cool. Nice, that was good," breath of relief over the gentle wind.

When Simon looks back, you're not watching him. You're staring at the ground with a proud smile, and part of him wants to smile too. Instead, he re-enters the bar and mentally logs in new information about you.

[asterjaxx]

i've been watching a lot of movies recently so i'm gonna make a big post about what i think about each one i've watched so far so i can refer back to it if i ever need it

also warnings for possible spoilers for each movie below

things no one cares about under the cut

NOTTING HILL 1999 — dir. Roger Michell

I LOVED NOTTING HILL could watch this movie over and over forever holy shit i love hugh grant. also julia roberts has a very big mouth like if i see her in a different movie and she looks like completely different but i'll recognise her mouth like is that weird- SO CUTE sometimes things didn't quite sequence together ? like there were times when it wasn't quite clear how long had passed between the two scenes, but that doesn't really bother me. not a lot of exposition but again doesn't bother me. just a nice fluffy romantic film :) also has so many funny moments that are actually funny not cringe all around i love this movie so much one of my favourites ever i think

DIRTY DANCING 1987 — dir. Emile Ardolino

in short; not for me lol i can't stand patrick swayze's accent i'm sorry. didn't even watch the whole movie because i was so not interested. it's cute when he's teaching her to do the dance and stuff and i liked when they were in the water trying to do the lift but like that was the only memorable thing for me. hair reminded me of the heathers (which is one of my absolute favourite movies) but other than that it wasn't really anything crazy to me ? just an 80s movie that my mom likes

BRIDGET JONES' DIARY 2001 — dir. Sharon Maguire

good movie. mark kinda pisses me off but he's a good guy in the end so i can live with it HUGH GRANT !!!!1 though his character was a fucking ass i love when he gets beaten up not toooooo fluffy romantic, but still romantic. FUNNY, bridget jones can't get a fucking break and it's hilarious "bridget jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs. mum... hi." solid movie i really want to watch the other two (i'll add to this list later when i watch them) and there's a fourth one coming

MAURICE 1987 ��� dir. James Ivory

ugh gay people ^JOKE JOKE JOKE JOKE i liked this movie. i loooove things set in earlier times but like i wouldn't call this a period piece ? like it's not that far in the past, only 1910s, but then again that was still a hundred years ago. ANYWAY hugh grant again (are you seeing a theme?) ew he was DISGUSTING with the slicked back hair and the moustache EW jokes ugh he was so cute i liked the first half of the movie, the second half was kinda eh to me?? i thought maurice and clive would like have a better resolution between them so i was kinda underwhelmed didn't really like maurice's actor's accent LMAO i am awful ending was kiiiinda disappointing to me i thought there'd be more but it was sweet. I DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE DICK AND BALLS !!!!! i literally almost screamed (no i didn't i handled it like a mature person) anyway yeah this movie's good, but ew gay people I'M JOKING

04/07 UPDATE ————————————————————————

LOVE ACTUALLY 2003 — dir. Richard Curtis

"when the planes hit the twin towers..." HUGH GRANT anyway i loved this movie, super cute. it seemed like there was a lot going on but it was done in a way that it wasn't confusing. funny but not cringe. it's a win for me if hugh grant's in it hate the american president guy, hate harry's voice he sounds like a pedophile ROWAN ATKINSON JUMPSCARE ... TWICE billy mack can suck balls i hated that guy but overall super cute lovey movie but not boringly lovey. story between all of the characters was great and i liked that they all had a nice resolve between them :)

05/07 UPDATE ————————————————————————

BRIDGET JONES: THE EDGE OF REASON 2004 — dir. Beeban Kidron

when i finished bridget jones' diary, and found out there were two more movies (and another in the works) i was a little apprehensive. i thought "what more could possible happen?" but this is bridget jones this movie was super cute actually ! GOD daniel cleaver is an asshole i hate him but hugh grant....... i like that mark and daniel fight again that was fun my god she fucking goes to jail LIKE A WERGIN overall; jesus christ what a movie. i enjoyed it though. I DID NOT EXPECT THAT REBECCA WAS A LESBIAN but then again i have a cousin named rebecca that's queer like the first movie, not super fluffy romantic, but still romantic. actually funny. actually want to kill myseslf out of second-hand embarrassment at times but that's the bridget jones charm

06/07 UPDATE————————————————————————

FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL 1994 — dir. Mike Newell

THIS MOVIE WAS SO SWEET AWWWW I FEEL SO SILLY AFTER WATCHING THAT :D rowan atkinson jumpscare once again (i knew he was in this movie) aawww man i don't have much to say about it other than it's so sweet and romantic and i just love it it's beautiful :( my brain is mush after watching it

08/07 UPDATE————————————————————————

BRIDGET JONES' BABY 2016 — dir. Sharon Maguire

holy shit ED SHEERAN JUMPSCARE!!!! oh my god i want to beat the shit out of jack. did not expect that daniel fucking died LMAOOOOO but also (massive spoiler) he's not actually dead i hope he comes back in the fourth movie giggles and kicks feet i heard that in the fourth one mark dies so bridget is alone so like maybe daniel can redeem himself when i saw mark and bridget getting married i was like oh thank god they can actually get married and daniel can't fuck her but never mind anyway i loved this movie it was funny and very bridget jones

um i forgot to write the date oopsie———————————————

SENSE AND SENSIBILITY 1995 — dir. Ang Lee

this movie made my heart hurt i was surprised at how many actors i'd seen previously in other films. like i knew hugh grant was in it (that's why i wanted to watch it lol), but i didn't expect the guy from love actually and bridget jones' mother. oh my god it all hurts the more i watch it hurts i want to cry for elinor and marianne and oh my goddd. also that fucking old bitch is so annoying i forgot her name is she mrs jennings i think but like holy shit shut the fuck up!!!!! ugh i love period media GOOD MOVIE 👍 I LOVED IT but holy shit i am too gen z for how long it was i was rolling to try and find something to keep my attention but also i wanted to watch it so bad the ending was good i liked the resolve like it was actually good i didn't expect anyone to get a happy ending LMAOOO THE MOVIE IS 2 HOURS AND 16 MINUTES. the TENSION between elinor and miss steele oh my god, WHEN THE THREE OF THEM WERE IN THE SAME ROOM i wanted to scream holy shit HLEP ME MISS STEELE'S FACE AS MARIANNE RATTLES TO EDWARD AND THEN HELP ME WHEN SHE TELLS HIS SISTER(i wrote this section while watching the movie) ugh hugh grant my looooove oh my god that man is older than my FATHER also they use the word "creature" a lot to refer to people but that's probably just the 1800s i guess "my heart is... and always will be... yours." AEUUUGHUGUHHUG

01/08 UPDATE————————————————————————

ABOUT A BOY 2002 — dir. Paul Weitz and Chris Weitz

at first i thought this movie was gonna be boring and all that, but i ended up really enjoying it! it actually was really sweet, despite not seeming like it'd be. also the guy that plays the boy marcus is the voice of jon in the new garfield movie ??????????? I'M NOT JOKING LOOK IT UP but yeah i actually really liked this movie i watched it with my mom and i enjoyed it not really much to say except it turns into a really touching movie and it's actually really nice it makes me want to not hate kids but i still do anyway

14/08 UPDATE————————————————————————

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS? 2009 — dir. Marc Lawrence

you know,,, i'd want to kill meryl too. ugh i love hugh grant oh my god ughhhh i like the bear :) and the horses :) i don't have much to say about this movie LMAO i feel like most of it wasn't super memorable but i did enjoy it, so less rom more com but i mean that was the point. still sweet ending they finally get a kid. also is that a thing? that a kid can be alive and in the world but not yet have a name? like bro's gotta have a birth certificate with something on it right? i don't know i've never had kids (thank god) and also maybe it was chill like that or maybe it's just a movie and it's just nice and details like that don't matter ^_^

19/08 UPDATE————————————————————————

MUSIC AND LYRICS 2007 — dir. Marc Lawrence

OH MY GOD i wasn't expecting to like this movie that much but holy shit actually that ending was so sweet i cried i said i wasn't gonna lose my head but then pop goes my heart (pop goes my heart) i wasn't gonna fall in love again but then pop goes my heart ALL I WANNA DO IS FIND A WAY BACK INTO LOOOOVE ugh I WAS SO HEARTBROKEN WHEN HE TOLD HER SHE WAS LIKE THE CHARACTER IN THAT BOOK THAT GUY WROTE ABOUT HER LIKE NAOOOOOO but holy shit yeah i liked this movie actually it was actually funny not cringe and also hugh grant so 👍

[riyangiis]

I LOVE FILO ZB1 CONTENT SMMMM i usually have these random thoughts in my head abt what the members would be like as filos AND BRO for me ricky is definitely englishero. specifically those kinds that are fluent in tagalog but just prefer speaking in english

actually ricky is so me what the heck.. 😬😬 HE DEF LISTENS TO HEV ABI😬😬😬 it's either he's conyo and is horrible at filipino or he's just what you described him.. this guy is a bgc boy you can't say no

I think I would still keep the chinese and american in him😂😂.. guys guys what if he's a chinese-filipino that grew up in the us and has little to no knowledge abt the philippines.. bro when he gets there he would be THE airport crush wtf.. his parents told him that he should try to go to a public school but he's concerned and worried that he might get made fun of.. A LOT. so he goes to a private school first, then goes to public once he's able to speak filipino properly and stuff but he's only gonna stay there for a year..

bro def goes like "what's the orange ball with the little egg inside?" LMAOOOO🤣🤣🤣🙏🙏⁉️⁉️ he cringes at those err what do you call them.. the genggeng boys😬 they often tell him to try and hangout with them but he just.. ignores them.. "kumaldag ka nga!!" "wtf is a kaldag??"

bro tries so hard not to show off in the days where you're able to wear civilian clothes instead of the uniform but does it anyway.. "bat may lalaking mukhang pupunta sa party.." he even ricky-fies his own uniform and makes it look richer and more classy than it was originally supposed to be.. ehh you get it

def the guy that has EVERYTHING you need for a project, he doesn't really do anything except make the art and have the supplies.. "gaga nawala ung ink ng marker!" *biglang may 7 na marker, bago pa..* the main reason why he doesn't really do anything in the project because his group mates find it hard to communicate with him since his first languages are english and chinese and when he speaks filipino, he has this weird accent..

he knows how to speak filipino naman, it's just that accent that messes everything up.. medyo insecure siya abt it so he just doesn't speak at all. he also doesn't understand kanal humor AT ALL so his classmates don't really like his type of humor.. when he found out that he actually has english-speaking classmates with aircon humor, he tried his best to befriend him but they thought he was weird or didn't want to become friends with him since they thought he was some rich spoiled kid who knows nothing but money.. heck people even used him because of his wealthy status and got hold of the fact that he likes giving gifts to people he's close with..

he's famous around the school just for his looks, nothing else. when he thought his popularity would give him an advantage to get more friends and have a good image. he caught girls trying to sneak gifts or trying to state at him, he thought that this whole thing was making him uncomfortable but he can't do anything though. that's only gonna ruin his reputation. so he didn't mind and ignored the admirers, they're not really his business anyways. he knows he's handsome, he doesn't have to show it off at all times.

he stopped trying to make friends in his school and just sticked to doing his hobbies when he was bored and continued talking to his friends from china and usa, the others just viewed him as some rich kid anyway. the teacher assigned a project that needs a partner for the class, everyone gets to pick their own partner. he looks around with people debating on who should be their partner. he just continued drawing whatever was in his mind waiting for some unfortunate person to have no choice but be partners with him (to his admirers it's very fortunate to be partners with him.. you can see them fighting on who should be his partner, ricky is just enjoying the thought of being alone with no one disturbing him.

ricky suddenly felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. he looked up to see someone, is it an admirer?

"hello? can I be your partner?"

"huh? oh, sure.."

his attention is now on you instead of the drawing of a rose, ricky was caught off guard because of how.. quick this person asked to be his partner without being shy or nervous. he looked at the group of admirers, now fuming because he already has a partner.

(medyo inaccurate ito sorry😭😭)

[wetcatspellcaster]

A few questions, which obviously can be answered at your convenience because I don't want to add to the burn-out you're experiencing (I hope you get some rest and relaxation soon!).

1. Do I need to know anything about Dragon Age to read your other fics? I'm desperate to read anything you've written because you're so talented, but I haven't played and don't know much about it.

2. I just reread Pieces again, and am so curious to know what Rosalie's dad is like and what he thought of Astarion! Also, "Rosie" 🥰

3. I'm American, and my attempts to write English/British characters make me cringe a bit because my American-ness seems glaringly obvious. I suppose this is a bit of weird question, but I've read my share of fics where I'VE thought, "Oh, this author is DEFINITELY American" so I would imagine you have, too. Do you have any advice for writing more... authentically, I guess?

Thanks, in advance!

hey anon! sorry for the delayed reply - i was sick and trying to leave the asks with more complex answers until a time when i had more than one unhappy braincell!

honestly, a mix? my dragon age fic was the first fic I ever wrote, so it was more reliant on existing plots and I also retell a bunch of stuff, particularly in my longfic? which means that it's actually more accessible than my current fic, which tries to avoid too much replay of canon dialogue and canon scenes and so expects the audience to know them, I suppose? But I'm not good at gauging how easy they would be to read with no knowledge of say, the concept of Grey Wardens. I do have one dragon age modern AU though, which is entirely independent of canon :)

Ahhhhhh, you're the first person to ask this!! To be honest, I chose to show Rosalie's mother rather than her father bc the aim of the final scene was to give this timeline's Astarion a chance to use the Charm My Ascension Turned Evil for an utterly harmless use, as a wholesome resolution to the story! Rosalie's father is a handyman (he met her mother doing repair work for the store she worked in at the time) and so he's slightly taller/stockier than you would perhaps expect (of course, in Pieces, he's now more of a wiry and lean old man). he's soft spoken and stoic, the kind of man who deliberately wouldn't raise his voice for being seen as intimidating (particularly with the canonical treatment of tieflings by WotC) but who's opinion is often valued and taken seriously when it is offered, because it's rare for him to speak up. To be honest, I think a meeting with him and Astarion would be hilarious for different reasons, I think both parties would mostly be befuddled on first meeting bc Astarion is very performative and her father is the opposite of that. If Astarion found canon timeline Rose's 'no ulterior motives' infuriariting, I think 'no front whatsoever but also no clear indication of his opinion of me' would also cause him to have a minor meltdown.

This question is difficult for me to answer, because I unfortunately have the Posh British Accent Download and additional DLC due to certain things that happened to me in life. But to be honest, my advice here would maybe be the following: 1. try to fact check any idioms or speech quirks with either a UK friend or something like reddit, or lift them directly from British TV/film dialogue. just bc I have seen certain turns of phrase used a little off-centre and that's what tends to give it away for me? not the 'oh you're clearly american' but the 'oh, you've clearly never heard this used in an actual conversation' 2. Read authors that have a 'British' voice (I cringed, but it is true!) I'm not Neil Gaiman's biggest fan, but authors like Gaiman and Terry Pratchett have a little bit more British English in their writing and so immersing yourself in one of their novels for a bit might help you emulate the stuff I do subconsciously (others might be Sarah Rees Brennan, Kieron Gillen's comic book The Wicked and the Divine, Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, the Skulduggery Pleasant series... this all depends on what kind of British you're aiming for!!) 3. The way I still get into 'character voice' to this day is just by listening to youtube clips on loop. I can't do impressions but I can try to imagine the voice saying the line i've written!

[afatlotofchance]

Commission-story 1: Rikishi Footballer

It is so strange to go look back at stories you wrote years ago and haven't re-read in such a long time... Sometimes you cringe as you find typos you overlooked, or stuff clearly written by a young and naive man. Other times you are amazed at what you could pull out of your mind and feel like someone else wrote it in your place.

This story isn't a "kink" story in the usual sense of the word. It depicts fat characters, fatness is talked about a lot, and there's some weight gain - but it isn't a story about fatness or weight gain. It is all background element, side-details and little kink-sparkles. It is primarily an awkward teenage story, a start of a romance, a slice of life and growing-up story. It is a soft tale about a Japanese sumo teenager being sent to America, and trying to find a place there - and finally finding some hopes upon encountering an American football team.

Note that I actually know NOTHING about American football, and all written below comes from quick pre-writing research, indirect media exposure, personal deductions, and a whole lot of bluff. I hope it still remains convincing enough. Enjoy!

- - - - - - - -- - - - - -

Daichi looked in the mirror one last time.

His school uniform was without a speck. His hair was well-brushed. His bang perfectly split in the middle. Clean face. Nothing in his teeth. He stood upright and smiled before sighing.

“Don’t be so stressed Daichi… No reason to stress.”

Of course, he had plenty of reasons to be stressed. A new school, a new country, a new language – if he wasn’t stressed, it would have been really worrisome.

While checking his bag, his thoughts drifted towards sumo. It was probably the harshest part of his new life: no sumo. He had been practicing sumo for five years now and suddenly, in a matter of days, nothing. It was all gone. He had searched if there was any sumo club out there but, to no one’s surprise, California wasn’t big on eastern wrestling sports. His new high school had western wrestling teams – which Daichi considered joining. But a lot of them consisted of really muscular guys, young body-builders. A rikishi like him would have looked out of place among them, if not outright ridiculous.

As he got down the stairs, delicious smells tickled his nose. Steamed rice… grilled fish… soy beans… miso soup…

“Daichi! You’re up early!” his mom saluted him.

“The smell woke me up.” he joked.

“Yes. I thought I would make one last typical Japanese breakfast. Before switching to an all-American diet.”

Daichi quickly gulped it all down. The portions were smaller than usual – but for Daichi, usual portions meant the double of what people usually ate. He had always been a big boy with a big appetite, and his sumo training had only helped them both become bigger. Fortunately, the Mori family was wealthy enough to afford their son’s extra-sized meals.

“Well, here I go!”

“Take care of yourself, Daichi. And don’t forget: you don’t change shoes in American schools!”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Have fun!”

“I will, Mom!”

XXX

He did not.

XXX

“Class, we have a new student here. He comes from Japan, his name is Daichi Mori. Please, I want you all to make him feel welcomed here. Daichi, could you come here and present yourself to the rest of the class?”

Daichi got up and stood in front of the other sophomores.

“So that’s why this guy was dressed like at a funeral…” someone whispered.

“That’s a Japanese school uniform? Why doesn’t he wear normal clothes, like everyone else?”

“I hope he can speak English good enough. Japanese accent is really painful.”

Daichi felt his face become pink. It always happened to him whenever he had to express himself in front of a big crowd. His face went pink and started to feel hot. It was so weird to see all those students casually dressed, in jeans and baskets, like if they had just gotten out of the street and were ready to leave at any moment.

“Hello. I’m Mori Daichi… I mean, Daichi Mori. I’m from Japan. Namba, in the Osaka prefecture. I hope we can be good friends this year, and I give myself into your hands.”

Some kids snickered.

“He really has a strong accent…” a girl whispered.

Daichi, overhearing that, thought he had to apologize:

“I’m sorry if my English is a bit bad at the moment, but I hope you will help me speak it more fluently.”

It was just a general apology for everyone, he never intended to single out the girl. But she gave him a surprised, then offended, look, and glared at him for the rest of his presentation.

“I moved here because my father had his work changed recentry. Recently. Sorry.”

The boys at the back were sneering.

Daichi, feeling his presentation wasn’t going as well as planned, tried to impress them. If there was one thing Americans knew outside of anime and manga, it was that. Instinctively, he touched his belt and said:

“I’m… well, I used to be a sumo wrestler. I was in my school’s sumo team. I won the local…”

The boys at the back started laughing like hyenas. Other people were smiling and whispering between them.

The teacher asked for silence. One of the boys muttered, between two laughing fits “He’s such a cliché… Of course, we get a Japanese and… he’s a sumo… one big fatty baby!”

Daichi was confused. Why were they laughing? What was funny about being a sumo? He was proud of being a young rikishi – it was an honor. His family was proud of him, his friends admired him, he even had one or two fangirls back in his old school.

Why was he suddenly feeling so ashamed of it?

XXX

The school cafeteria was a wonderful experience. All those new foods, all these strange aromas, all these unusual colors… Just looking at it made saliva drip from his chin.

He took a bit of everything on his tray, hoping he could get a second serving later, and tried to find a spot at a table. Nobody was really paying attention to him. Recognizing some people from his class, he took an empty chair near them. They weren’t the boys at the back of the class – he had a bad feeling about them – these were people from the front ranks.

“Hi! Daichi, is it?” one of the boys greeted him.

“Yes, it is. And you are?”

“Horace. This is Jasmine, and there it’s Peter.”

Daichi saluted all of them.

“Wow! You’re going to eat all that?” Peter asked.

“Well, yes…”

“Of course, he has to eat a lot! He told us he is a sumo wrestler! The whole point is to pig out so you can grow fat!” Horace intervened.

“Well… Not really. I mean, yes, it’s a lot of sleeping and eating but…”

Horace wasn’t really listening to Daichi.

“Gosh… a sport where you just have to stuff your face and grow fat. Sounds like a dream!”

“I don’t understand it.”

It was Jasmine.

“I mean, I don’t understand how someone could let himself grow fat like that. You’re not bothered about your health?”

“Well, I’m healthy enough.” Daichi answered. “I do frequent exercises, I was regularly checked on by a doctor…”

“But your appearance? And what about the girls? They’re okay with you being that big?”

Daichi was really embarrassed. He wasn’t used to talk about these things with his friends, and even less with perfect strangers.

“Well… there were some fangirls at the tournaments…”

“I saw a sumo tournament once! On TV!” Peter shouted. “It was so funny! And so weird! It was just two obese men punching each other. And they were wearing diapers! I was watching it with my brother and we laughed our asses off for days after! It was like looking at two giant babies fighting.”

“Or you and your brother fight for a pizza slice…” Horace muttered.

“Hey! I heard that!”

Horace turned his head towards Daichi.

“Man, I can’t imagine what it is when you throw yourself after a pizza slice. You must be like a human cannon ball!”

“I… I’m afraid I don’t understand. I never tasted pizza.”

“Never?”

“Never.”

“You have to try a pizza! Everybody in this world eats pizzas! It’s the USA's national dish! Our own invention!”

“Wasn’t it the Italians that…”

Peter interrupted their conversation.

“Shit, look at the clock! If you want to copy Edgar’s dissertation, you better get moving!”

Horace looked at his half-eaten tray and then at Daichi.

“You can finish that for me? I don’t have time to eat, and they scold you if you leave anything. I know, it’s a pleasure, no need to thank me. See you later, big guy!”

And thus, Horace, Peter and Jasmine went away, leaving Daichi alone with his one and half tray of food.

This conversation went quite smoothly, better than what Daichi expected – but it was a weird one, and it had left the boy with a sour taste in his mouth. Not sour enough to prevent him from eating all of the food on the table – but still, sour enough to make him fear for his future in this school.

XXX

The rest of the day went without any incident. The only thing that annoyed Daichi was that everybody kept calling him “sumo-boy”. Considering that he wasn’t ready to have his first name used by all these new, not very sympathetic people, it was better than nothing.

He was still angry and ashamed at how they laughed about his sumo training.

“Don’t think about it too much… Just try to enjoy the good side. If you start seeing only the bad stuff the first day, you’re begging for bad things to happen.”

When he went home, he had the delightful surprise to see his mom had tried herself at American cuisine. Avocado romaine salad, fish tacos, grilled cauliflower wedges, Caribbean pot roast and lemon pound cake.

“I hope it will be good… It’s the first time I try these recipes.”

“It will be good. It’s always good. You can only cook good things. Else, Daichi and I wouldn’t have ended up that big!”

“How was your day, Daichi?”

He told them it was good. Nothing special happened. They nodded and started to talk about their new town.

Daichi ate in silence.

XXX

“Hey! You’re Buddhist, right?”

“Yes.” Daichi answered.

“I told you he was Buddhist!” the first boy shouted.

“No, you never told me that. You told me he looked like Buddha. With hair.” the other boy replied.

“Well, being Buddhist means looking like Buddha, right?”

“No, you dumbass.”

“But all those Buddhist monks, they are bald, smiling and fat, no?”

“Just shut up.”

XXX

“Hey, can you read that for me?”

Daichi looked at the piece of paper.

“Jelly’s… Jerry’s… jelly bellies… berries… taste leally… really… rale… rare.”

“Thanks!”

The girl took the paper and snickered at her friend:

“Told you they couldn’t distinguish between R and L.”

XXX

As Daichi was walking to his table, he overheard people talking about him.

“You noticed how heavy the new boy walks?”

“The sumo-boy?”

“Yep. He walks so heavily! You can hear his every step. Just listen.”

Embarrassment flooded Daichi, to the point where he could have drowned in it. He wanted to stop walking, but he couldn’t just stand frozen like that in the middle of the room. It took him a lot of strength to go to his seat.

“It’s true!” the other boy whispered. “He doesn’t walk, he stomps!”

“Well, it’s normal with the size of his legs. You’ve seen his thighs? They’re enormous! Bigger than hams! And I know what I’m talking about, my mother keeps cooking those damn hams for every big occasion. His calves are the size of hams. But his thighs… wow!”

“It’s true that his legs are really swollen! They’re touching each other! They must be rubbing all day…”

“I wonder if his pants will split open. Or crack on the seams. The fabric is clearly stretched to the max.”

“Me too, I wonder if he keeps wearing the sumo-diaper under his pants.”

“We’ll have to wait for his pants to explode to find out.”

XXX

“Hey! Daichi, right?”

“Yes?”

“My friends and I, we were wondering under what sign you were born?”

“Sign?”

“Astrological sign?”

Daichi thought for a bit.

“I think for you it’s… Taurus.”

“No, we meant… the Asiatic zodiac.”

“The goat.”

“Really? Not the pig?” asked another boy.

His friends looked at him weirdly.

“No, why?”

“Because you…”

His friends put their hands on his mouth.

“Nothing, we were just wondering.”

The group went away, but they spoke so loudly Daichi could distinctly hear them fighting.

“What were you thinking? You can’t just tell him that!”

“Well, it’s true he looks a bit like a pig! I mean, the pointy ears, the round face, the tiny eyes… His nose is even triangular! Just look when he raises his head. It really looks like a pig snout!”

XXX

One week had passed. Daichi’s first week in an American school.

It wasn’t the most pleasant experience. And Americans certainly weren’t the most pleasant people.

USA teachings and classes were easier than Japanese ones, so homework and tests were really a piece of cake. It’s the people that were hard to swallow. Between those who snickered when he made a mistake in English, the teachers who kept asking him to repeat because of his accent, and the constant jokes, not even made in front of him, but behind his back… It made him stutter, it made him unsure of words, it made him both anxious and tired.

He had bought new clothes to replace his uniform. Plain old clothes – white, black, blue. Pants, shirts, jackets. It apparently wasn’t enough.

People kept mocking him for his size and fatness. He thought America was the land of obesity and junk-food, and yet he was only surrounded by thin, good-looking kids.

And everybody spoke so loudly… he feared he would end up deaf by the end of the year.

XXX

He tasted the Californian pizza.

It was tough, over-cooked and reminded him of plastic.

XXX

It was official. He disliked American people.

Today, one of the boys at the back of the class made a joke. Directed towards him. A frontal attack. And a cruel one. The others did not laugh, and he got hours of detention for this joke. But the words were still said.

“Hey, remember when we sent Fat Man and Little Boy to Japan? Well, they sent us Fat Boy in exchange! New and improved version! Beware, he has reached critical mass! He is ready to explode! All take cover!”

Daichi missed his sumo club. He missed his school. He missed his friends. He missed his town. He missed Japan.

He hated America.

XXX

“Honey, I’m worried about Daichi…”

Daichi’s mother raised her head.

“What? Daichi? What’s wrong with him?”

“Well… he doesn’t smile anymore. He used to smile all the time.”

“He must be busy, that’s all. He is starting a new course, in a new school. He has to make new friends, learn a new language… It’s a lot of work for him. He doesn’t have time to fool around anymore.”

“Yes but… he also lost his appetite.”

“He still eats like a normal boy.”

“Yes, but before he used to eat much more than a normal boy!”

Daichi’s dad kept twisting his hands in worry.

“Should I remind you he stopped his sumo wrestling training? He doesn’t need to over-eat anymore.”

“But he liked to over-eat!”

“And he got that from you, you glutton! It’s good that he starts to eat normally. This trip to the US cost us quite a bit of money, and if he kept eating like three people at each meal, we would soon be unable to afford anything!”

“But he slimmed down! You noticed that? His face used to be so cute and round… it’s not anymore!”

Daichi’s mother sighed and sat next to her husband.

“Don’t worry, alright? Daichi is a grown-up boy. He is sixteen. If he was troubled about something, he would have told us. You know how open-hearted he is. If there’s something serious, he would tell us. And if it’s something he can deal with by himself, then it’s good. We shouldn’t be over-protecting him like that. One day he will have to confront the world and see how hard it is. And he will have to learn to survive in this harshness. It’s just how things work.”

XXX

As Daichi opened his locker, he scanned his surroundings. He was there again. The guy. The tall guy.

He had been following Daichi since this morning.

When Daichi got out of his class, he was there, looking at him with his peering eyes. Down the hallway, he was there, his thick arms crossed on his wide chest. At the cafeteria, he was there, not eating, just staring at him. Daichi thought that what he feared for some time now was going to come true: his first real bullying. The guy looked like a bully. Tall, with big muscles, furry brows and a short goatee. He certainly didn’t look like a sophomore, but rather like a tiger preparing itself to feast on a clueless prey.

Daichi looked back at the guy and froze upon seeing he was walking towards him.

Daichi had to get out of there, and fast.

He closed the door of his locker, took his bag, started to walk, preparing his body for an eventual run… Too late.

The guy’s big hand was around Daichi’s wrist. Daichi turned back, ready to face the beating, or whatever this guy had prepared for him, with dignity. But he apparently wasn’t interested in him rather than in… his arm. He was touching it, and kneading its flesh like if it was dough.

“Huh… What are you doing?”

No answer. The guy was now patting Daichi’s belly. It reminded him of someone checking if a fruit was ripe. The young man tried to take a step back, but the weird goatee-man maintained him by the shoulder, so he wouldn’t get away.

Was it some sort of joke? No, apparently not. The guy looked deadly serious.

He crouched down and started to squeeze Daichi’s thighs. The boy was mortified, filled with so much fear and shame he couldn’t move even a muscle.

Finally, the weird, invasive, fetishistic bully said something. One word.

“Wow.”

He quickly got up and looked Daichi in the eyes. He had dark (beautiful), coal-like eyes.

The guy took Daichi by the arm once more and dragged him down the hallway.

“Hey! Let me go!”

But his grip was too strong, and Daichi was too terrified to fight back. This guy looked like a mountain of muscle! His shoulders bulged so much it looked like he had no neck!

Daichi got dragged out of the school building, and down onto the football field. His mysterious attacker finally stopped in front of a bunch of equally tall and muscular guys.

“Team! I have our missing lineman!” he shouted.

XXX

“Is this a joke?”

The goatee-guy turned towards Daichi.

“What?”

“Listen… I don’t know you, guys. I don’t want any trouble. I’ll leave.”

Mickey blocked him.

“No, wait, don’t go! I need you – our team needs you! You’re our savior! You’ll be our new lineman! I can assure you, this is a serious offer!”

“I don’t know what a lineman is, and I don’t know who your team is, and I don’t know who you are!”

“I’m Mickey! Mickey Andrews! And this is my team! Football team! My football team! Well, the school’s football team! I would like to be the head of the team but…”

“But you’re not!” shouted another boy.

“Yeah! Don’t offer him the post yet!”

“Don’t just pick any random overweight boy just because we lack one team member!”

“Who named you the chief here?”

“Guys, guys, calm down! I know what I’m doing” Mickey appeased them. “This is Daichi. Daichi Mori. Daichi, this is the team.”

“Sup?” one of them said, waving his hand.

“And Daichi here is… a sumo wrestler! And isn’t a lineman just a sumo wrestler with a helmet?”

Daichi got ready for laughs and mockeries. Instead, to his great surprise, he received exclamations of admiration.

“A sumo wrestler?”

“Really? I thought you had to be an adult to be a sumo wrestler! There are actually juniors?”

“He’s a real one? He’s not just making this up?”

“He doesn’t really look like a sumo fighter… he’s not fat enough. Aren’t they supposed to be really big?”

“I heard about him! Hadn’t he stopped training before coming to the US? Who says he isn’t rusty?”

“Or maybe he stopped because he was bad at it. We don’t need a bad sumo wrestler.”

“I think he can be good. He looks like a good wrestler.”

Daichi was surprised. These guys weren’t actually laughing at him because he was a sumo wrestler. They rather doubted how good he was as a sumo wrestler.

And apparently, it irritated Mickey.

“What do you mean, he doesn’t look like a good sumo wrestler?”

“I said he did look like one!”

“I’m not talking about you, Terry! I’m talking about all these other treacherous, arrogant, snobbish skeptics! Tell me if these aren’t the legs of a powerful wrestler?”

As he was speaking, Mickey raised (not without a bit of difficulty) one of the legs of Daichi’s pants, and slapped his thigh. All the other boys crouched to look at Daichi’s leg with admiration.

“Wow!”

“I’ve never seen one so big before…”

“It’s all muscle and fat!”

“Gosh, he must be able to block anything with that!”

“I wouldn’t like to get kicked by him!”

Mickey beamed with pride while Daichi died with shame.

“Well, if he’s so good, let’s put him to the test, shall we?” said a deep voice.

It was the tallest boy of the team. Even taller than Mickey. He must have been three heads taller than Daichi, a true giant!

“He will try to block me.”

“Good idea! Let’s see if he can block Jack!” the others approved.

“He accepts the challenge!” said Mickey.

“What? I haven’t accepted anything! I wasn’t even asked to be here in the first place!” Daichi complained.

Mickey pulled Daichi towards him as Jack was warming up.

“Don’t worry,” Mickey said, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “You can do this. He is frightening, but good-hearted. He will probably be soft on you. Or crush you without mercy, it depends on if he likes your face or not.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry! Trust me, it will be easy. You just need to prove to them that you are a good sumo wrestler. That’s all ! You are a good sumo wrestler, right?”

“Yes!”

“I knew it. I felt it in your guts.”

“But he is a giant!”

“And you will do just like in sumo! I thought a champion like you wouldn’t be terrified by a small weight like Jack!”

“Small weight? He’s all muscle and nasty-looking and…”

“Just do like in sumo, okay? Go!”

And Mickey pushed Daichi in front of Jack. The tall, menacing, creepy Jack. The giant handed Daichi a helmet.

“Put that on. I don’t want to bump your pretty little head too hard.”

Daichi gulped down and put the helmet on.

“Don’t worry… Do just like in sumo. It will be okay. At best, you’ll have a broken bone. It will heal. Just do like in sumo.” Daichi thought to himself.

Daichi prepared his body, crouched, got ready. Jack charged. He looked like a mad rhino. Daichi raised himself up a bit, and…

XXX

… it was easier than what he expected.

Right now, Daichi was blocking Jack. For more than a whole minute now. The giant tried to push, move, get out of Daichi’s grip in any way he could. But the little sumo was not ready to let go.

“Is that enough?” Mickey asked, with a cocky smile on his face.

Jack pushed a bit more, and then gave up.

“Alright… I guess it’s enough. Could you tell him to let me go?”

Daichi opened his arms and stepped out of the way. Jack, who was still trying to push, ended up falling on the ground. The boys around applauded.

“Wow! So you are a real sumo wrestler!”

“And a good one!”

“They really are like linemen, aren’t they?”

“The team is saved!”

“He could block Jack! He is so strong!”

“And look, he barely sweats!”

“Good job, Mickey! Great finding!”

Mickey waved his hand towards the team, with a false look of modesty on his face.

“Well, you know, I just did what I had to do. I’m a treasure hunter, after all.”

XXX

With the team, Daichi managed to feel proud of his sumo – and of himself – once more.

They were all pressing him with questions about his training, about what it took to be a sumo, what he ate, what routine he did, about the tournaments he lost and won. Some asked him to block them, just to test his strength – and Daichi actually managed to send some of them flying. It did not upset them, it just made them laugh. They weren’t laughing at him – they were laughing with him.

It felt really nice.

XXX

The first week was hell. The second was a blessing.

Daichi joined the football team. Mickey had explained to him in lengths the job of a lineman, and it sounded so similar to sumo, he just couldn’t resist. The other team members were treating him with a comradeship, a friendship and a respect he thought he wouldn’t be able to experience again. They were all so kind, explaining to him the rules of the game, helping with the training and exercises. In return, Daichi taught them one or two things he learned while doing sumo training.

Mickey was the kindest of them all. He was actually a sumo fan, with more knowledge about the sport than normal people had. He frequently watched big tournaments on TV, and it was a real pleasure for Daichi to talk with someone with whom he shared such a passion. Both boys also talked a lot about their own cultures – about the differences between a Japanese high school and an American one, about the different flavors of ice cream, about the weird habits of their parents, or the kind of shitty neighbors they could get. Daichi learned a lot from talking with him – especially given that Mickey kept correcting the little mistakes he kept making. Not in an annoying, preachy or irritated way. It was just friendly remarks, with well-meaning intentions. And Daichi accepted them with gratitude.

He was sure only good things could come up from his relationship with Mickey.

XXX

And only good things came out of it.

XXX

“First, you must put the padding. I know a sumo wrestler is used to being slapped directly in the flesh, on the skin, but trust me, on a football field, you’ll need something to protect yourself, some pads to absorb the blow. Because even your fat-armor won’t protect you from some nasty injuries.”

“I noticed football is much more violent than sumo… I mean, you wear helmets.”

“Alright. So, these ones go around your thighs… Shit, they’re too small. Josh, do we have some bigger thigh pads?”

“What bigger thigh pads?” Josh asked.

“They can’t fit around Daichi’s legs!”

“Truly? Well, I’ll see if I have some extra-large somewhere.”

Daichi was really embarrassed by all the fuss the team (well, mostly Mickey) made about his legs.

“Well, since it’s just to show you, we can go without the thigh pads for now. Now, put these pads on your knees… That’s it. Now, put the pants.”

Daichi snuck in the clothes.

“They are… kind of tight…”

“They’re not supposed to be baggy. But don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. They’ll stretch a bit. Now, the shoulder pads.”

“These things?” Daichi shrieked with bulging eyes.

“Yes, these things.”

“But they’re so big! How can you play with that? They must be… I mean… they’re not good for your balance, no?”

“I heard once that the whole point of sumo was to learn how to push and move heavy things, aka other wrestlers, while being able to support and carry as much weight as possible, aka your own body. Is it true?”

“Yes, kind of…”

“It’s the same for football and the uniform. Learn how to move with all the stuff on you. No pain, no gain. Now put these on.”

“Alright, alright…”

“Okay… Now, the jersey… And finally, the helmet. Don’t forget the chin strap. And that’s it! You’re all dressed in a good-looking, shiny, beautiful football uniform!”

Daichi looked at himself in the mirror.

“It’s quite… not uncomfortable but… weird. I mean… I’m used to wearing only a mawashi… nothing more. Not all this stuff.”

“Well, I’m sure a lot of people would like to see you run on the field nearly completely naked – I would, personally – but rules are rules.”

Daichi, still looking at his reflection, turned around.

“But… I kind of like it. I feel like I’m wearing some samurai armor. A very American samurai armor.”

Mickey smiled.

“And now, the most difficult part of all… Learning how to take off all this stuff!”

XXX

Daichi noticed that his entrance in the football team changed the way his classmates perceived him.

Most of the mean comments and bad jokes stopped altogether. People talked to him more casually. He guessed it’s because now he fitted – he was part of something “American”, showing his contribution to the school. Or maybe it was just because he had a bunch of tall, muscular, mean-looking guys as friends, and people weren’t willing to get on their bad side.

XXX

Mickey insisted on treating Daichi a pizza.

That’s a simple sentence for a longer story.

It all started when Daichi asked Mickey for some fashion advice. He just wanted to know what was trendy in the US. Mickey, in his usual style, immediately dragged him to a shopping mall to buy new clothes for him. After speaking of some heroic-fantasy anime, Mickey mentioned pizzas. Daichi mentioned he didn’t like pizzas. Mickey asked him how much pizzas he ate. Daichi answered only one. And Mickey started a rant about how you couldn’t hate something just based on one bad try, before pushing Daichi into a nearby pizzeria.

“You must like some pizzas! There are a ton of them out there! I will force you to eat each and every one of them until you find one you like!”

“Hey! You can’t do that!”

“Try to stop me!”

“But I just ate!”

“Sumo wrestlers have big stomachs!”

There was no sense in reasoning Mickey. Daichi just sighed and took off his belt.

“If you’re such a picky eater, no wonder you lost so much weight.”

“What?”

“Yeah. You lost weight since your arrival in the US. I remember clearly your face, before, upon the day of your arrival. Your face was rounder. You even had a little double-chin.”

“Well, isn’t that… good? That I lost weight?”

“You must be bigger to be strong! A good lineman is a big lineman!”

“Yes, but… I mean, the sumo physique isn’t… really attractive here. Isn’t it?”

“Here’s your pizza!” the waiter interrupted them.

Mickey looked thoughtful.

“Well… it’s true you’re not the perfect guy from some underwear advertisement. But a lot of girls like buff and bulky men. Football players usually have up to three girlfriends during their high school years. Quarterbacks are hugely popular, of course, but look at our linemen – half of them are in couple. Well, some won’t last long, but that’s not due to their physique… Plus, I know a lot of people who like chubby people. Boys with a bit of meat on them.”

“Yeah, but they’re rare… and even them wouldn’t find a sumo wrestler cute.”

“Well, I found you cute, with your tiny double chin.”

Daichi, feeling his face get hot again, dug into the pizza, hoping to hide his embarrassment by pretending it was the dish that was heating his face.

“Hey! It’s delicious!”

“I told you it was!” Mickey gleefully answered. “Pizzas are the best!”

Daichi took a second slice. Then a third.

“I’m glad you like it… Hey, you have a bit of cheese here.”

“Where?”

Mickey leaned over the table, and passed his thumb on the corner of Daichi’s mouth.

“Right here.”

Daichi must have been as red as the tomato sauce. He quickly gulped down what was left of the pizza, muttering a small “thank you…”

“Oh, don’t thank me now! Thank me once you tasted the other pizzas!”

“The other pizzas?”

“I told you, no? I will make you try each pizza on the menu! I just wasn’t expecting you to like it so quickly…”

Daichi moaned upon seeing the waiter come back with three… four… five… seven more pizzas.

“Don’t worry, big guy. I’ll help you finish. After all, I’m the one paying, I should get a bite or two.”

XXX

“Mickey is sixteen?”

“What? You’re surprised?”

“But… but… I… I thought he was much older!”

“Nope. He is a sophomore, just like you.”

Daichi looked at Mickey, on the other side of the field. A tall, big, beefy body. A lot of muscles, a bit of flab. Biceps so big his sleeves threatened to rip. A wide and thick torso like the trunk of a tree. A square, strong face, softened and rounded on the edges.

“But… I mean, he has a beard!”

“No. He tries to have a beard. He can’t get to grow hair on his cheeks, only on the chin and near the ears. But don’t mention it to him, he’s a bit sensitive.”

Daichi looked longer at who he dared to consider his best friend.

People kept mentioning Mickey and him looked a lot alike. They both had dark hair and dark eyes. One had a bit of muscle, with a lot of fat; the other a lot of muscle, with just a bit of lard. While Daichi’s neck softened in the front, under the chin, Mickey had a fold of doughy flesh at the back of his nearly non-existent neck, over his shoulders. Yes, it was true. Mickey kind of looked like an older, taller, more muscular version of Daichi.

“And handsomer…” Daichi thought.

Mickey was beautiful, indeed. Not in the typical, effeminate, bishounen way. In a rough, powerful, masculine way.

The young rikishi remembered a representation of Susanoo he saw some years ago. Mickey looked just like this painting of the god – only a bit buffer.

XXX

“You wanted to see me, coach?”

“Yes. I wanted to talk to you about Daichi.”

“He is a good find, isn’t he?” Mickey answered with a smile.

“Yes. His background as a sumo wrestler certainly was a good preparation for his lineman post. But it’s also a big flaw in his play.”

Mickey lost his smile.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean: he can become a good lineman, but he needs a more… specific training.”

“What kind of specific training are you talking about? This guy already got everything he needs! He is big, he is strong, he has the size, he has the power. Have you seen him slap someone in the chest? It’s impressive! Nobody can manage to move him, and he can block anyone! He is like a rock! And you’ve seen him crash into other guys! He sends them flying as if they were dead leaves! And you’ve seen his legs? That’s some fine lineman legs!”

“Yes, we’ve all seen Daichi’s legs, thanks to you, Mickey.” the coach answered. “And yes, on paper, our little sumo wrestler works. A big guy, with the perfect balance of fat and muscle. And a literally perfect balance. He can carry weight around and push anyone out of his way… But he is too used to sumo fighting. Football is brand-new to him. And it shows.”

“In what ways?”

“You said he is immovable. Like a rock. Which is a quality, but also a flaw. He lacks mobility. Sumo relies on blocking your opponent and throwing him out a small circle. In football, you have to run through an entire field. Have you seen Daichi run?”

“I did.”

“Then you know he is not used to run, at all. He is quick in attack, but he is not a fast player. He has strong legs, and a strong upper body, but he doesn’t know how to use them to move swiftly. He only knows how to use them to stay where he is.”

“If it’s just that…”

“It’s not just that, Mickey.”

The coach sighed and sat.

“You remember what I said about grace and finesse in football?”

“Yes, I remember the dance lessons you forced us to take.”

“Well, Daichi lacks this finesse. He still thinks he is in a sumo fight. His strength is brutal, he throws everything at the beginning, he focuses on short term goals. As a result, he ends up exhausted at the end of a match. He must understand we’re not doing a one-minute sumo match. We are talking about a sixty-minutes minimum effort here. He must learn temperance, finesse and endurance.”

Mickey shivered at the idea of Daichi taking dance lessons.

“And finally, outside of the troubles of speed and endurance, I noticed he has a hard time moving sideways. Laterally. He is all in frontal attacks and straight lines. An inheritance from his sumo training I presume.”

“Alright, but he can still learn! He is still young! He just started! Please, don’t kick him out of the team!”

The coach looked offended.

“I never said I would kick him out of the team! You said it yourself, he has a lot of talents our own players lack. He is a precious element for the team – but his potential needs to be cultivated. For now, his capacities are good, but limited. He would make a perfect nose tackle, for example. But we can’t allow our players to be so over-specialized, can we? If Daichi really wants to be a lineman, he will need to be both offensive and defensive.”

“I understand, coach. And I accept your quest!”

“What quest?”

“The quest to make Daichi a perfect lineman! I’m the one who dug up this treasure, he is now under my responsibility! I promise I will train him every day and every night, well maybe except on holidays, in order to make his flaws disappear!”

“If you want, Mickey… Don’t forget, lots of running and aerobics.”

“Yes, sir!”

As Mickey was about to leave, the coach called him:

“Mickey!”

“Yes, sir?”

“I understood that Daichi taught the team members some… tricks from when he was training as a sumo?”

“Yes.”

“Things like how to gain weight more easily, right?”

“I guess so… why?”

“It’s just I’ve noticed the waistline of many of the boys started to balloon recently… Could you please remind them that they are not sumo wrestlers, but football players? Thanks.”

XXX

Mickey and Daichi were on the old playground near Mickey’s house. That’s where they met each Saturday and Sunday, to train for the football game. Mickey insisted on giving Daichi a personal training – to help him work on some stuff he lacked. Daichi was extremely thankful – Mickey was taking much of his personal time, just to help him master the subtleties of the game and become a better player.

Mickey could have easily just told Daichi what to do and let him work out on his own – but he actually took time to accompany him and practice with him, when he could have been working on his own. After all, he was the running back of the team, and from what Daichi understood, it was the most difficult post of any football team. When a running back was on the field, he had no time for himself, he had to check and monitor everything – his teammates, the rival team, the clock, the size of the field, the opposition’s attacks, defenses and plays… He had to constantly adapt himself, and always throw himself in battle, to know every hole number, every pass route, every trick in the book. It was an enormous amount of personal work, both in and outside of the field. Daichi admired Mickey for being able to do all of that. He couldn’t have done such a tough job.

XXX

As Mickey helped Daichi put on his uniform, he noticed:

“You’re back to your old size, I see!”

“Yes. I even got back the double chin.”

“I noticed. The cute little double chin. I also noticed you eat a lot of pizzas lately. Your breath smells like pizza.”

“They’re really good!”

“I know. But, a little piece of advice, try to limit it a bit. They’re good, but they have a toll on the waist. And it’s getting a bit harder to get you in these pants lately. We don’t want you to burst out of the uniform, do we?”

Daichi, feeling a bit bold, answered:

“You were the one who said you wouldn’t mind me running half naked on the field, right?”

“Yep, that’s right. But if the coach ever finds out you’re too big for your uniform, he’ll tie you up and lock you in a locker without any food until you slim down.”

XXX

Daichi’s team quickly found out a nickname for him. The Taurus. Given that he acted like one on the field, and that it was his astrological sign.

The rival teams rather used the nickname The Boar. Partly because of his nose. Partly because they feared he would just split them open or trample them to death.

XXX

“Mickey, I’m really not sure about this…”

“Well, I’m sure of it. Should be enough for both of us. Don’t you trust me?”

“I do, but… No, really, Mickey, I’m not… no…”

“Come on, get your big legs moving!”

Mickey had to push Daichi in the hairdresser’s shop. It was Mickey’s idea: according to him, Daichi had to get a new haircut.

“You’ve been stuck with the same old boring one since your arrival. You should change it! Let your hair express your true personality! You need to live up to your fearsome Taurus reputation!”

“How can hair express one’s self? That’s just hair!”

“With this mentality, you will never go far… Hairdresser? He needs something shorter, wilder, freer!”

“No, really, I’m fine with this cut. I’ve had it for years and…”

“More reason to change it! Trust me, you’ll feel lighter, both physically and mentally.”

Daichi gulped down as a young lady started to wash his hair.

XXX

“So? What do you think?”

Daichi looked at his reflection.

It was short. Spiky. Unruly.

It wasn’t bad. It was different. It was weird. It was kind of good.

“I guess… I like it?”

XXX

The other boys of the team loved it.

XXX

And, after numerous matches and numerous adventures…

XXX

It was already the last game of the season.

Daichi couldn’t believe how quick the last months went by. It was like a blurry, weird and exciting dream.

“Ready?”

It was Mickey, all-dressed up, a shoulder against a locker.

“Yeah… I’m ready.”

“You know… if you want to slow down a bit for this match, don’t hesitate. I mean, we won all the previous ones, and you put so much of yourself in them… I just don’t want to see you strain yourself. I wouldn’t like it if you were hurt.”

“Me neither. I mean, I wouldn’t like to see you hurt. Not me. Well, I wouldn’t like to be hurt either but… you get what I mean.”

Mickey smiled.

“Well, it will be harder for me to avoid getting hurt. After all, if we go all the way up, it will only get harder and harder, and more intensive, more exhausting, and…”

“I’ll be here to protect you! To clear the way for you!”

Daichi had blurted that out, quickly, without thinking. Realizing how weird it sounded, he corrected:

“I mean… Don’t worry, you can count on me to have your back!”

“Yeah, but you have to protect everybody on the team, right?”

“I’ll protect you more! I mean… I’m really grateful for all you’ve done for me. You helped me fit in this new school, you introduced me to a wonderful sport, you…”

“I haven’t done much, you know. I just introduced you to the team and gave you some fashion advice. And a haircut. And made you love pizza.”

“You did much more than that! You… you know, you really changed my world!”

“I don’t think so. I just allowed you to do the things you would naturally do. I’m not the one who is blocking people for you, I’m not the one who taught the team how to train with tires – hell, I’m not even the one who gave you your nickname! All of that comes from you. You impressed the team, you frightened our rivals, you helped us won the games – all of that, on your own. Plus, don’t think I’m a saint. Half of the things I did for you was in fact for the sake of the team. I’m a treasure hunter – so when I see one, I have to take it back to my crew. That’s all.”

“And the other half?”

“It was just so you would correspond to my personal tastes.”

“What?”

Mickey had a smug smile on his face.

“Well, I told you already, no? I know a lot of people who are into cute chubby guys.”

He winked. Daichi felt his face burning.

“Now, let’s go out there and kick some asses, shall we?”

Daichi got up. He was confused by exactly what Mickey’s last words meant, unsure of whether he should take it lightly or seriously, if he should be disappointed or happy… But the cries of the spectators, out there, and the voices of the rest of the team, quickly snapped him out of it. He had one last match to fight, he couldn’t allow himself to weaken now. His body was ready to fight. One last effort – and he could take care of the rest later.

“Alright. Let’s kick those asses! And after, we’ll get a pizza!”

The two boys slipped their helmets on their heads and got out on the field.

XXX

And they kicked a lot of asses.

FIN

[aerial-jace]

Give me a list of the top ten birds ever

Let's go!

Quetzal — It's green! Males have these gorgeous long tails! Their feathers were used as trade commodities in pre-Columbian times! The red accents on the chest are according to legend because one descended onto the bleeding chest of the Guatemalan national hero Tecún Umán! This would be my fursona if it wasn't my country's national bird. Can you imagine? That'd be as cringe as an American with a bald eagle sona.

Yellow-naped parrot — My chosen bird to base my sona design on. This is my head the archetypal parrot because my grandfather used to have one as a pet. I used to spend a lot of time at his house so of course I'm fond of them. Also I find parrot mimicry so cool. Language bird, very fitting for a linguistics nerd like me.

Scarlet Macaw — Also from the parrot family. The red plumage is also gorgeous. A bird I associate with the maya lowlands. I also associate them with the Mesoamerican mythic motif of the hero twins who defeat the sun monster.

Peafowl — They are so fancy and funky looking. They are the mascot of this hotel here in Guatemala operated by an amusement park company that is partially a private enterprise and partially funded by a voluntary tax. Seeing the peacocks when I visit is one of my favorite things. Also there are some at the cemetery where my grandma is buried.

Egyptian Sacred Ibis — The sacred bird of the primary deity I worship, Djehuty! Seeing them depicted in the tomb murals makes me wish I could visit the pharaonic era Nile valley and walk among the reeds.

Raven — Love the witchy aesthetic! As with other corvids very smart and playful. Has mimicry abilities! I associate these with vikings a lot because of the whole Odin's ravens thing as well as the raven banner. Look it up, it's a seriously cool design.

Crow — Smaller size means they get away with mischief so much easier. Same as above, corvids are just such neat little guys.

Grackle — A smaller corvid which I see more often in my local environment. I love collecting the feathers they leave strewn about. I hope if I'm ever visiting the US I can resist the magpie urge of picking up feathers because I hear that is super illegal.

Harris' Hawk — THEY STACK! These are so silly, love seeing photos of them. Also unusually among raptors they are pack hunters. If I ever branch out from writing about cats I wanna write about these.

Magpie — I too have an instinct to collect shinies. Another bird I feel a kinship to.