#holding the man 2015

[awsteb]

SARAH SNOOK as Pepe Trevor in Holding the Man (2015)

[cookidoughlilac]

I swear, every save of Inferno I keep on onedrive gets corrupted in some way 🙈 I don't suppose anyone knows where to find a good, uncorrupted version?

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

I am currently working my way through Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley, the totally light-hearted, definitely not agonizing section of @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus where I get to watch countless acts of violence be committed against queer people. Thank fuck I have Lesbians waiting for me at the end of this unit. The films in Unit 4 are: Bent (1997), Strange Fruit (2004),Boys Don’t Cry (1999), Brokeback Mountain (2005), Parting Glances (1986),Philadelphia (1993), The Living End (1992), Holding the Man (2015), Jeffery (1995), and Boys on the Side (1995).

Today I will be talking about

Holding the Man (2015) dir. Niel Armfield

[Run Time: 2hr 8 min, Available: Google Play, Language: English]

Summary: The warm, funny and achingly sad story of the 15-year-long love affair between Timothy Conigrave and the boy he fell in love with at high school, John Caleo. (IMDB)

Cast:

Ryan Corr as Timothy Conigrave

Sarah Snook as Pepe Trevor

Craig Stott as John Caleo

__

So, as anyone who has seen Ben’s syllabus should know, he was very intentional about setting it up as a lead in to BL. Sometimes I wonder how some of the movies may apply, but I definitely understood where he was coming from with this one…

Ben wanted to show any person going through the syllabus the parallels between BL and Western films that let 30 year olds in terrible wigs play high schoolers. 

He also definitely put this movie on the list because these characters are gay boys in a Catholic school. 

gif by @captnswilson

Anyway, I thought this film was very good, it started off very strong not only with the phone call that cannot be more than two minutes that tells you everything you need to know about the characters, how they are connected to each other, where they are in the present. Especially when you know by the time the phone disconnects that John is dead, especially when the camera cuts to three old men looking at Tim as he tries desperately to call back, a stark reminder that Tim and John will never reach old age. 

gif by @captnswilson

I think the biggest thing I was struggling with in this entire movie was how indiscrete Tim and John were being about their relationship. Like, seriously, full confession, I thought the consequences of their physical intimacy would be because of Catholicism. Shielded by my own age I guess in part, but also hugely because of their lack general lack of fear or discretion, I fully forgot it was illegal to be gay in 1970, when Tim is fully reaching his hand down John’s pants at school, and putting love letters on his desk at school, and giving John hand jobs in his living room, and fucking with the doors unlocked when their friends go out fishing. 

That said, I do appreciate that even under the threats from their school, from their parents, they choose each other over and over again. They are unfazed and unashamed of their relationship and I think that sets the movie up to be all the more tragic because you can kinda tell what’s coming. The fact that they have fought against it all, they have loved each other fiercely and openly and relatively unafraid, makes John’s inevitable death all the more tragic. 

I think the production of this film was really smart, with some really wonderful transitions between scenes and the background music, or a line, or a lingering camera shot. For example when Pepe sends the kiss around the table, and after John and Tim have kissed each other and Pepe tries to take any suspicion of Tim’s feelings away by closing the kissing circle, we hear audio which soon after cuts to mass. The line of course being “To those trapped in the darkness of sin that the light shining in Christ may free them…” The way that John’s father thanks Tim for helping John come out of his shell, only for Tim to unzip John’s sleeping bag, literally opening a casing that was covering John a few scenes later so they can have sex and cuddle during a sleepover.  

gif by @captnswilson

The way the editing supports the discovery, the tension of John’s father finding the letter, while we see John and Tim fucking at the cabin, the friends coming back to catch them in the act, the way the music stops when John’s Dad is interrupted from his thoughts as he starts to read the letter around the same time that Tim slams the door shut on his friends. The way the silence in John’s room from his father is co-opted for the silence in the cabin’s living room with all the boys playing poker as if nothing had happened. The close up of Tim’s hand shaking the man he is interviewing, and then the subtle way Tim wipes his hand against the arm of the chair he is sitting in as if he can catch AIDS just by touching someone who has it. 

I have a thing for movies about AIDS letting their characters bleed. I really love the choice, the knowing that comes with seeing those bright trails of red. The weight to it. I love so many acting choices in this film, the scene of Tim and his mother preparing food after he comes home for his sister’s wedding only to find out that his mother read a letter addressed to him that essentially told him he had AIDS. I love when Tim can’t complete a scene after his acting teacher so thoroughly reads him, and honestly…respect, I appreciate that Tim is willing to admit that. I love the image of John’s father closing the door to their house after John puts his foot down, reaffirms to his dad that he loves Tim and says there is nothing he can do about it. Because the door to their house has bars, and it looks like John’s father is locking himself up in a cage. Trapped inside while John and Tim drive off in to the world. To experience it in its fullness while John’s father cowers away. 

gif by @captnswilson

I think the scenes where John was sick and where he was dying was super well performed. Hell, the entire thing was well performed, but to see Craig Stott go from strong athlete to gasping for breath, so sure footed to unsteady on his feet. I am in love with the blushy little smile that John gives Tim when Tim takes his picture and calls him beautiful after they have shaved John’s head, and glued dinosaur figurines to it. This film does such a phenomenal job of realistically, believably portraying love. 

I’m thankful to the writing for acknowledging sex workers and intravenous drug users, they are our brothers and sisters, they are us, we are all family, and I think it is important that we don’t forget them when we discuss AIDS, and the people we lost to it. 

gif by @captnswilson

I think they handled John’s death very lovingly. I am sure that I would have been bawling if I didn’t end up in a lovely two and a half hour conversation with a friend just before he draws his last breath. And again, the choices here, the loud, agonizing breathing John has when he sleeps, and the way the silence settles in when he draws his last breath. I am glad John told Tim in his own way that he was ready to go. That when he collapsed at home it was so easy. There is no way losing someone you love that deeply isn’t devastating, but at least for me, death is a little easier when I know someone is ready. 

I love that John kept his promise, not to die unless Tim was by his side, and that Tim whispering in his ear “I’m here” was what finally gave John permission to go. (I WANTED TO PUNCH A HOLE THROUGH MY TV WHEN JOHN’S PARENTS DIDN’T LET THE PRIEST SAY TIM WAS ANYTHING MORE THAN A FRIEND TO JOHN.)  I loved that we ended the film with Pepe telling Tim that John was by his side, right before we learn that Tim died ten days after he finished writing his book. 

I should have known, I guess, that this was based on a real story, because of the nature of the material, but for some reason I didn’t. Maybe I missed a title card somewhere or something. But I do think there is something so beautiful about being able to immortalize John, immortalize Tim, and immortalize their love for each other in a book. That their love story was told again through film. That there is no way to deny their love for each other now. 

Favorite Moment 

gif by @captnswilson

Honestly, I really loved the sex scene between John and Timothy near the end of the film when they are back in John’s childhood home to celebrate Christmas with John’s family. John has been receiving treatment for cancer, and is very weak, on oxygen and everything since his lungs have been having a lot of trouble recently. I love that every part of it is so slow and tender, John and Timothy dancing together in John’s room, paralleling the way they danced together at Tim’s sister’s wedding not long after their HIV diagnoses. 

John, as weak as he is, as hard as it is for him to breathe, asks Tim to screw him, and we get absolutely the slowest and most intentional sex scene of the entire film (and there are many sex scenes in this film). I do not think that all sex needs to be tender, do not get me wrong, but I did really love the way that with how obvious it is that John does not have much time left, they take their time with this. It is just such a beautiful expression of love between these two. I appreciate too that they make this sex scene beautiful, that sex between an actively dying cancer patient is held as high or higher in beauty and artistry as all the sex Tim and John were having over the 15 year course of their relationship. It is very obvious that this is a last goodbye, but for all that sex has at times been avoided in this film, for the time it brought HIV into their lives, sex is not a bad thing, sex is a necessary and wanted thing, I just liked it as a part of their goodbyes to each other. 

Favorite Quote

“How can you write this play? You’re making assumptions about your status.”

Honestly. What an incredible fucking line. Tim sitting in a room, interviewing a man who is dying of toxoplasmosis because of his HIV status for a play. I am not opposed to people making plays about terminally ill people. I do think it is important to immortalize, to remember, to tell stories. But for the love of GOD you canNOT go waltzing in to a dying man’s apartment, wipe your hands on his chair after you shake his hand because his AIDS disgusts you, and then demand his life story and his thoughts about dying. 

Tim had so much unprotected sex in college, Tim is hiding from the (possible) truth, Tim does not want to know. What right does Tim have to ask others for their stories when he is running from his own? 

Score

9/10

[thepeacepigeon]

The 4B Movement: How South Korean women are leaving the patriarchy behind 

(Getty Images)

In 2016, a 34-year-old man named Kim Sung-min waited inside a unisex restroom outside exit 10 of Gangnam Station, Seoul South Korea. Six different men came and exited through the restroom over the span of an hour, until a 23-year-old woman entered, and Kim proceeded to stab and kill her with a 12-inch-long sushi knife. In court, Kim stated, “I did it because women have always ignored me.” Kim’s actions and thoughts are not out of the ordinary amongst Korean men—violence against women is extremely common in South Korea. 

(BBC)

South Korea has a long record of female subjugation. Between 1953 and 2021, abortion was illegal in almost all circumstances, and current law allows a woman to get an abortion only if she has consent from a male relative or her boyfriend/husband/partner. A 2015 South Korean government survey revealed that almost 80% of women had been sexually harassed at work. A survey released by The Ministry of Gender Equality and Family found that 57.8 percent of women felt vulnerable to misogynistic violence. Digital crime and sexual harassment are extremely common— “molka”, up-skirt photos, and secret cameras hidden in restrooms are rampant, so much so that any cellphone purchased in South Korea has a mandatory chime when photos are taken. The World Economic Forum’s 2022 Global Gender Gap Index ranks South Korea at number 99 out of 146 countries for gender equality. Legislation actively works against women trying to report sexual assault. Men accused of stalking or harassment can “ask” their victims to drop charges, and in 2022 a man murdered his former colleague after she refused to drop charges against him for stalking her since 2019. South Korea has the highest gender pay gap of all the OECD countries—the top wealthiest 37 countries, globally, with women earning on average a third less than men. These alarming statistics have come years after the “Gangnam Station” murder, and South Korean women continue to be targeted for their gender.

(Jung Yeon-Je/AFP via Getty Images)

Despite Kim’s own testimony, government authorities explicitly denied the misogynistic motive, and the prosecution announced that the case was not being investigated as a hate crime. Kim was eventually sentenced to 30 years in prison. In response to the murder, women took to the streets outside Gangnam station and the surrounding areas in protest. The women, many of whom had never considered themselves feminists or activists, but the nature of the crime and the misogynistic motivation, as well as the court's refusal to acknowledge it, outranged them. The murder incited intense debates about misogyny within the country, and the gender inequities women faced both socially and economically. Five months after the murder, Cho Nam-Joo’s novel Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 was published. The book devastatingly details an everyday woman’s daily experiences of nonstop sexism, inequality, and misogyny in contemporary South Korea, and served as another enraging eye-opener that would develop into what would become known as the 4B Movement. 

The four B’s (or “Four No’s”) of the movement represent the four major components that women of the movement are rejecting; Bisekseu (sex), Bichulsan (child-bearing), Biyeonae, (dating) and Bihon (marriage). South Korean feminists define the 4B movement not as a fight against the patriarchy, but a complete step away from it— leaving it behind. In 2017, the Escape the Corset campaign swept across the country. The word “corset” is used by Korean feminists as a metaphor for the societal mechanisms that control and repress women, for example, the extreme and toxic beauty standards. Both 4B and Escape the Corset condemn and reject the influence that beauty holds within every aspect of South Korean life. Pioneers such as feminist author Cho Nam-Joo, and photographer Jeon Bo-ra, who photographed women who shaved their heads in rebellion. Social media has played a large role in the 4B movement, with bloggers and beauty influencers like Lina Bae speaking up against unattainable beauty standards and societal pressures, and Summer Lee who was inspired to cut her hair, throw away her hyperfeminine clothes, and post pictures of herself without makeup. 

(Jean Chung/Getty Images)

Despite increasing conversation on women’s rights, feminism is still considered a taboo, contentious, or even “dirty” word for many South Koreans. It is often associated with “man-hating” and perceived as overly aggressive. The country's current president Yoon Suk-yeol has promised to close down the South Korean Ministry of Gender Equility and Family, and any other organizations that fund or support women and victims of sexual violence, claiming they “treat men like potential sex criminals”. A January 2023 article in the South Korean newspaper The Sisa Times reported that 65% of women in the country do not want children, 42% do not want to get married, and over 80% of those cite domestic violence as their key reason. As a result, concerns regarding the rising average population age and declining birth rate in South Korea have increased greatly. The country's birth rate is less than one per woman as of 2021, and the country saw less than 200,000 marriages. In recent years, the South Korean government has commissioned a number of soap operas and reality TV shows to promote an idyllic view of romantic heterosexual love, and to encourage marriage and reproduction. 

(Yonhap)

The 4B movement and Escape the Corset campaign have had a tremendous impact on the way young South Korean women view the countries cultural grip on women’s appearances and lives. Between 2015-2016 and 2017-2018, Korean women spent over 5 billion Korean Won less on beauty products and cosmetic surgeries, instead investing their money in cars and choosing independence over objectification. The movement is calling for boycotts of any business that uses sexist advertising, and encouraging women to eat at women-owned restaurants, drink in women-owned bars, and shop at women-owned stores—women’s money goes into the pockets of other women. Women’s universities have also been on the rise in South Korea, with most cities housing one or several women-only institutions. Similarly, women’s only spaces have begun to expand, women’s parking spots closer to entrances and exits in parking garages, women’s only hotel floors and common rooms, and women’s only subway cars. These spaces allow feminism to spread and flourish, and give Korean women the ability to find community with other women without the interference of men. 

(Ian Baldessari/CityLab)

Since 2016, Exit 10 of Gangnam Station has become a symbolic site for South Korean feminism. The South Korean feminist movement developed out of particularly misogynist conditions within their country. The 4B movement represents a radical way that women have sought to create an online and offline world devoid of men—rather than engaging in arguments and altercations, they simply refuse to interact with men in every aspect of their lives. These actions have had a profound impact on the functionality of South Korean society and have opened an uncloseable door too the discussion of women’s rights. 

McCurry, Justin. “Calls for Stalking Law Overhaul in South Korea as Woman’s Murder Shocks Nation.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 23 Sept. 2022, www.theguardian.com/world/2022/sep/23/calls-for-stalking-law-overhaul-in-south-korea-as-womans-shocks-nation.

Teehan, Katie. “What Is the 4B Movement?” Service95, 16 Apr. 2024, www.service95.com/4b-movement-explainer/.

Izaakson , Jen, and Tae Kyung Kim. “The South Korean Women’s Movement: ‘We Are Not Flowers, We Are a Fire.’” Feminist Current, 16 June 2020, www.feministcurrent.com/2020/06/15/the-south-korean-womens-movement-we-are-not-flowers-we-are-a-fire/.

Lee, Min Joo. “Why so Many South Korean Women Are Refusing to Date, Marry or Have Kids.” Yahoo! News, Yahoo!, 15 May 2023, news.yahoo.com/why-many-south-korean-women-123250959.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAHmBVorK4v6bdzwcJMRyRdXkKtzUlpQYWn5Ot-BPzs-YRNNZFW5JBwC65OTaPrRImn3F3G56r0gfNydadUzlQtPS61hOi6uggk_OkwZqqvLvS-YN4HbPrpwKvK9_7g0e9yqu9fiRRvOVJkGRv__L7AZGoYtfHVxjKLLPDi9DI2fu.

Park, Seohoi Stephanie. “Murder at Gangnam Station: A Year Later.” KOREA EXPOSÉ, 2 Mar. 2023, koreaexpose.com/murder-gangnam-station-year-later/.

Dockeray, Hannah. “Why Some South Korean Women Are Rejecting Beauty.” Sky News, 14 July 2021, news.sky.com/story/plastic-surgery-south-korea-faces-beauty-backlash-11871654.

[tinycoffeeroom]

end of beginning | carlos sainz

face claim: none ᡣ𐭩

requests: here !

tags: angst, break up (rebeccarlos ily pls this is just for the story)

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

september 2023

👤 carlossainz, charles_leclerc liked by carlossainz, chares_leclerc and 70,385 others

y/nstagram boyfie won another race but looking at the second pic, i may be the real winner ❤️

carlossainz princesa, contigo a mi lado, siempre soy el ganador (princess, with you by my side, i'll always be a winner) ↳ y/nstagram stop you'll make me blush 🤭

charles_leclerc stop being gross and in love on my feed ↳ y/nstagram carlossainz should we kiss in front of him again xx ↳ carlossainz sin duda ❤️ (definitely) ↳ charles_leclerc i hate it here

user1 i want to be y/n when i grow up (i am 2 years older than her) ↳ y/nstagram then it should be i wanna be user1 when i grow up 😘 also where is your top from in your pfp, i love it!! ↳ user1 ??? im in love with you ??? it's from this little boutique near my house! i can send you one!!! ↳ y/nstagram omg i will send you the money!! 🫶

user2 this is why we stan y/n, a true girls girl ❤️ ♥️ y/nstagram

francisca.cgomes even the back of you is gorgeous ↳ y/nstagram kiss me. ↳ francisca.cgomes come here 😘 ↳ pierregasly i miss when my girlfriend was only My girlfriend ↳ y/nstagram not my fault she upgraded x ↳ pierregasly i will take carlos out on the first corner don't try me ↳ carlossainz you'll have to catch me first hombre

january 2024

liked by kellypiquet, francisca.cgomes and 39,495 others

y/nstagram bed rotting but make it 🎀 aesthetic 🎀

user1 she still watches f1 y/nsainzers there's hope ↳ user2 she hasn't been to a race in months :((( hope is dwindling

user3 the bear i'm gonna scream, cry AND throw up ↳ user4 what's the significance of the bear?? i'm new to f1 :) ↳ user3 carlos got y/n the bear when he joined f1 so she would have something to remember him by when he went away on race weekends ↳ user4 and she still has it?? it must have been like 10 years ago?? ↳ user3 roughly around that!! 2015 if i'm correct...

kellypiquet i see the red bull on your screen 😉 would love to have you back with me in the paddock, P misses her bestie ❤️ ↳ y/nstagram P saw me last week when i spoilt her rotten in the mall but i may take you up on that offer ❤️

user2 y/n in the red bull garages??? y/nsainzers i fear we've lost her... ↳ user1 carlos may be moving to red bull don't give up hope best friend!

march 2024

liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari and 924,495 others

carlossainz P1 in Australia :) thank you for the well wishes guys, maybe my appendix was what was holding me back 😉🎉

landonorris booking the surgery rn ↳ carlossainz you still wouldn't win muppet ↳ landonorris wow carlos... low blow

user1 the last pic... pls say it's y/n PLEASEEEEEEEEEE acc on my knees rn ↳ user2 i'm down there with you best friend

iamrebeccad congrats mister!! next up: the world championship ♥️ carlossainz

user3 ^^ um guys ↳ user2 don't ↳ user1 don't.

charles_leclerc i'll get you next time... ↳ carlossainz ok charlie, i believe you

scuderiaferrari forza carlos! congrats on P1, not even surgery could keep you down 💪 ↳ user5 you bitches don't deserve to celebrate

maxverstappen1 strong fight there mr sainz! looking forward to japan where i'll be back on top! ↳ carlossainz fuck you This comment has been deleted

user3 UM GUYS??????? ↳ user2 do not look at f1wagupdates i'm being so serious ↳ user1 well now i have to FUCK

liked by user8, user9 and 93,283 others

f1wagupdates Carlos Sainz seen kissing Scottish model Rebecca Donaldson following his Australia GP win. He was previously linked to long time girlfriend Y/N L/N but the pair haven't been seen together since December last year. We guess this marks the end of their decade long relationship.

user2 carlos sainz i'm in your walls.

user1 man, fuck carlos sainz

user3 3 months ?? if that ?? glad his appendix burst ↳ user2 reports (twitter) are saying R + C were first seen together in January... ↳ user3 the c*rlos s*inz voodoo doll is being made as we speak.

user4 all men do is lie. what happened to "until the end of time"... i don't believe in love anymore

user5 i feel so bad for rebecca, y/n's so loved by the paddock and the fans ↳ user3 obvs no hate to rebecca, she's gorgeous and i'm sure she's lovely, this is solely carlos hate ♥️ user1, user2 and 19,349 others

user6 bro fumbled the bag with y/n man

👤 kellypiquet, maxverstappen1, landonorris, redbullracing liked by landonorris, kellypiquet and 58,395 others

y/nstagram different point of view 💙

redbullracing pleasure to have you back in the paddock y/n! see you in japan? 👀 ↳ y/nstagram i'll be there best friends (pls stock up on coconut red bulls) 🫶 ↳ redbullracing 🫡

kellypiquet the last pic?? i love you so much?? ↳ y/nstagram y'all are so cute i couldn't stop myself 🤭

maxverstappen1 thanks for coming y/n! i've missed seeing you around ↳ y/nstagram missed you too maxie! P says she wants me to come to every race so you may be stuck with me this year! ↳ maxverstappen1 just please don't steal my girlfriend ↳ y/nstagram she may be your girlfriend but she's My wife ♥️ kellypiquet

francisca.cgomes why didn't you tell me you were coming!! i would have ditched pierre :(( ↳ pierregasly everyday i wake up ↳ y/nstagram unfortunately ↳ pierregasly bro...

landonorris you got the champagne shot in action! missed seeing you around bug! ↳ y/nstagram had to see it with my own two eyes! congrats on the podium lan, you so deserve it ❤️ ↳ landonorris let's get dinner tomorrow, it's been too long ↳ user1 mr norizz shooting his shot on main damn ↳ landonorris 🤷‍♂️

carmenmmundt all the girls are getting together for dinner and drinks, you coming babe? ↳ y/nstagram i'm having dinner with kelly, max and P but i'll join for drinks after ❤️

user2 goodbye goodbye y/nsainzer's you were brighter than the whole sky ↳ user3 y/n deserves the world, if That Man couldn't give it to her that's on him.

june 2024

👤 kellypiquet, carmenmmundt, francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux, lilymhe liked by kellypiquet, carmenmmundt and 58,029 others

y/nstagram healing ❤️

Comments on this post have been turned off.

[lowpolynpixelated]

Bloodborne PSX One of the best fanworks on the web

Though the PS4 boasted and still boasts an impressive library of releases, for many (myself included) the system served to be bought for initially one purpose, to be the Bloodborne Machine. Most of the people in my life who had a PS4 during its generation either bought one exclusively to play Fromsoftware’s Nightmare Hunting Adventure or had initially got one solely to play the game and ended up getting more games afterward. It’s a phenomenon the game industry sees time and time again, with previous generations having swathes of fans buying entire consoles for one or two games. As far as games go though, Bloodborne is at the very least worth the price of entry. At the time, it was heralded as Fromsoftware’s most cutting-edge and impressive game to date. A gorgeous gothic world filled with creatures ripped straight out of H.P Lovecraft’s nightmares, a haunting soundtrack showcasing beautifully composed choral scores and a combat system that incentivized aggression and speed to achieve brutal and bloody efficiency. It’s no wonder then why Bloodborne still has such a large following behind it. Fans of Fromsoftware have hoped for a sequel or PC port year after year to largely disappointing results. But where the community shines is in its fanworks. 

From fanart, comics, music, animations, and even fan-made video game spinoffs, the game has been shown a monumental amount of love since its debut in 2015. One of these fanworks was released back in 2022 and has since become one of the most famous pieces of fan-made content surrounding the game, this of course, being BloodbornePSX by LWMedia. An incredibly impressive feat of coding and art direction, the game serves as a “Demake” of Bloodborne’s first Yharnam segment, made to look like and play as if it were made on the very first PlayStation console. With some custom-made areas and an entirely unique boss to boot the perfectly paced experience is both a treat to fans who have been orbiting the game since its earliest days and new fans looking for the best and brightest fanworks to interact with. 

The game has since gone on to be covered by a variety of news outlets all over the web, along with its creator receiving much-deserved attention for her efforts. One Lilith Walther (AKA b0tster on social media) holds the title of developer for the project. A long-time video game enthusiast and FromSoftware fan herself, she’s had quite an impact on the community I’m sure she’s very proud to be a part of. Later in the article, we’ve got an interview with Lilith herself about both Bloodborne PSX and her current project, “Bloodborne Kart”, but first, let’s talk a bit more in-depth about BBPSX.

(Official launch trailer for Bloodborne PSX, uploaded January 31, 2022 by LWMedia on Youtube)

Bloodborne PSX:

So, what exactly is Bloodborne PSX? To start, let’s answer what precisely a “Demake” is first. Demakes often have the goal of remaking the likeness of a game either stylistically, mechanically, or both, as if it was developed on retro/outdated hardware. Famous examples of Demakes include “The Mummy Demastered” developed by Wayforward as a sort of tie-in to the 2017 film “The Mummy” in the stylings of a 16-bit run and gun adventure against armies of the undead, and “Pixel Force Halo” by Eric Ruth games which take the prolific XBOX franchise and shrinks it down to a Mega Man-esque platformer reminiscent of the NES’ 8-bit days. Demakes are intensely attractive looking, not only into the past of video games and their developments but just how creative developers can be with games that they love and appreciate. Bloodborne PSX hits as hard as a Demake can in my opinion, blending masterfully recreated graphics with perfectly clunky early PSX gameplay quirks that go above and beyond to make the game not only LOOK like it belongs on the nearly 30-year-old console but feel right at home on it as well.

(A screenshot depicting the player character “The Hunter” facing off against two fearsome Werewolf enemies. Screenshot sourced from the Bloodborne PSX Official itch.io page)

Gameplay:

Starting off with the masterfully recreated clunk in the gameplay, Bloodborne PSX “shows its age” by hearkening back to a time when being seamless just wasn’t an option. Much like adventure action games of the past (and much UNLIKE its modern inspiration), you’ll be cycling through your inventory delightfully more than you’d expect. Equipping keys, checking items, and even the trademark weapon transformations are all done through the wonderfully nostalgic menu and inventory screens. Taking one of the foundational parts of Bloodborne’s combat system and making it such a more encumbering mechanic is nothing short of sheer genius when it comes to ways to really make you feel like it’s 1994 again. On top of this, the Hunter’s movement itself has been made reminiscent of classic action titles. Somehow, both stiff enough to feel dated and fluid enough to make combat that same rush of bestial fun found in the original, it goes a long way towards the total immersion into that retro vibe the game sets out to give the player. Anyone who grew up with Fromsoftware’s earlier titles like Armored Core and the King’s Field series will be very familiar with this unique brand of “well-tuned clunk”.

(A delightfully dated looking diagram showing off the controller layout for Bloodborne PSX’s controls. Image sourced from the Bloodborne PSX Official itch.io page)

Graphics:

Speaking of old Fromsoftware games, though, let’s talk about the absolutely bit-crushingly beautiful graphical work on display. As I’m sure you’ve seen from the videos and screenshots included in the article, BBPSX’s art style and direction are nothing short of perfect for what it aims to be. While playing, I couldn’t help but notice every little detail (or lack thereof) in the environments meant to emulate the experience of a game made on 30-year-old hardware. Low render distances, chunky textures, blocky polygonal models, just the right amount of texture warp, it all blends together to create an atmosphere that I can 100% picture being shown off on the back of a jewel CD case with a T for Teen rating slapped into the lower corner. While playing, something rather specific that called out to me was the new way enemy names and health bars were displayed in the bottom right corner of the screen while fighting. As a big fan of the King’s Field games, this small detail went (probably too much of) a long way toward my love of how everything’s meant to feel older. Other games trying to match the more specific feel of King’s Field, like “Lunacid” created by KIRA LLC, also include this delightful little detail, a personal favorite for sure. 

(A screenshot depicting the second phase of Father Gascoigne’s boss fight, showing off the game’s perfectly retro art style. Image sourced from the Bloodborne PSX Official itch.io page)

Sound design/Soundtrack:

But where would a game be without its sound and score? No need to fear, however, because Bloodborne PSX comes complete with a chunky soundscape that will make you want to check and see if your TV is set to channel 3. A haunting set of tracks played by fittingly digital-sounding MIDIs ran through filters to sound just as crackly as you remember backs up crunchy sounds of spilling blood with low-poly weaponry. Original sounds from Bloodborne have been used for an authentic sounding experience, but have also been given the CRT speaker treatment and sound like something you remember playing on Halloween 20 years ago. If you watched the launch trailer featured above then you know exactly what I’m talking about. The Cleric Beast’s trademark screech and Gascoine’s signature howl after his beastly transformation have never sounded so beautifully dated, and I’m here for every bit of it. Even the horrific boss themes we know and love from the original Bloodborne have been brought through this portal to the past. One of my favourite tracks, the Cleric Beast boss theme, might just sound even better when played on a 16-bit sound chip. It really cannot be understated just how much weight the sound design of the game is pulling. In my opinion, the only thing missing is that sweet sweet PSX startup sound before the game starts crackling through the speakers of a TV in the computer room.

(The Bloodborne PSX rendition of the Cleric Beast’s boss theme. Created by and uploaded to Youtube by The Noble Demon on March 20, 2021)

Interview with the developer:

Before writing this article, I had the absolute pleasure and privilege of talking with Lilith Walther about some developmental notes and personal feelings about inspirations and challenges that can come with the daunting task of being a developer. Below are the nine (initially ten, but unfortunately, a bit of the interview was lost due to my recording software bugging out) questions I posed to Miss Lilith, along with her answers transcribed directly from the interview. 

I’d like to start this section of the article by saying Lilith was an absolute joy to talk to. During the interview, I really felt like she and I shared some common ground on some topics regarding how media can have an impact on you and what sorts of things come with video games as an art form. After some minor technical difficulties (and by that, I mean my video drivers crashed), I started off with something simple. The first question posited was: “What got you into video games initially?” Lilith’s response was as follows: “When I was a kid, the family member of a friend had a SNES lying around. I turned it on and didn’t really understand. I was a guy on top of a pyramid, I walked down the pyramid, and some big ogre killed me. Later I learned that was A Link to the past.” and after a brief laugh continued, “A couple years later my parents got a Nintendo 64 with Mario64 and Ocarina of Time and that was it. Never put the controller down since then.” 

She then went on to describe what precisely about Nintendo’s first foray into 3D Zelda had hooked her. “I’ve heard this story so many times. It’s like you’re not even playing the game. You’re just in the world hanging out in Kokiri forest collecting rupees to get the Deku shield, and the game expects you to! It was just, ‘run around this world and explore,’ and that really hooked me.” I couldn’t agree more with her statement about her experience. Not just with a game as prolific as Ocarina of Time but many experiences from older console generations that could be considered “the first of their kind”, or at the very least some of the earliest. Lilith also described her first experience with a PlayStation console, stating: “Later on I got a PS2 which played PS1 games. I didn’t end up getting a PS1 until around the PS3 era, so I guess I’m a poser. I remember my sister bringing home Final Fantasy 9 when it was a relatively new game. If it wasn’t my first PS1 game it was definitely my first Final Fantasy game. Of course I went back and played 8 and 7 afterwards.” A solid answer to a simple question. 

The second question I asked was one starting to move toward the topic of Bloodborne PSX and its namesake/inspiration. Or at least the family of systems it was released on: “What PlayStation console was your favorite and why?” Lilith’s answer surprised me a bit. Not because I disagreed, quite the opposite, actually. But with such a big inspiration for her work being games from the PSX-PS2 generations, what followed was a pleasant bit of insight into one of her favourite eras of gaming, to quote: “I can give you two answers here.” To which I assured her she was more than welcome to, but she was set on having something definitive. “No no I’m only going to give you one answer. I can give you the correct answer that I don’t want to admit, but it was the PlayStation 3. It’s so embarrassing but I genuinely was hooked into the marketing of the whole ‘The cell processor is the smartest thing in the world’ and all that. It really seemed like the future of gaming and I was all about it. I think I owned an XBOX360 before but I did eventually get it and really enjoyed it. It took a couple years for some of the best games to come out but I really did.” A few examples she cited as being some of her most memorable experiences on the console were Uncharted 2, Journey, Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, and Warhawk. All games I’ve seen on several top 5 and top 10 lists throughout my life within the gaming space. A delightful show of affection for a generation personally very dear to me as well, in which she ended the segment by declaring “Hell yeag”, a bit of a catchphrase she’s coined online.

Getting into the topic proper, my third question was one about her personal relationship with Bloodborne: “How did Bloodborne impact/appeal to your interests?” A question that received perhaps my favourite answer of the whole interview. From her response: ”Oh that’s a big one. Going to the opposite end of the poser spectrum, I was a Fromsoftware fan before it was cool. One of the games I played religiously on my PS2 was Armored Core.” A statement which made more sense than perhaps anything else said during my time with her. “Then later in the PS3 era everyone was talking about Dark Souls, this was when I was in college. I finally caved and got it and saw the Fromsoftware logo and thought ‘Oh it’s the Armored Core people!’ I played and beat it, really enjoyed my time with it. I skipped Dark Souls 2 because everyone told me to hate it, I still need to go back to that one.” 

It’s something I would recommend anyone who hasn’t played Dark Souls 2 to go and do. “Then Bloodborne came out and I thought ‘Alright this is the new one, gotta play this one’ and I was a huge fan of all the gothic stuff in the aesthetic. And how do I explain this, I do really like Bloodborne. I like the design, and the mechanical suite of gameplay, as a video-gamey video game it’s very good.” The tone shifted here to something a bit more personal. “But as well, I was playing it at a specific time in my life. I came out in 2019, I know Bloodborne came out in 2015 but I was obviously just playing it non-stop. It was just one of my ‘coming out games’, you know?” For those who maybe don’t understand the statement there, “coming out” is a very common term used within the Queer community to describe the experience of revealing your identity to those around you. Whether it be to family, friends, or co-workers, almost every queer person has some sort of coming out story to tell. Lilith is speaking in reference to her coming out as a trans woman. She elaborated: “Obviously I can only speak for myself, but I just feel like when you make a decision like that, that part of my life just ended up seared into my brain, you know? Bloodborne was there, so now it’s just a part of me. And it definitely influenced some things about me. It was there because I was working on Bloodborne PSX at the time, but it had an impact on something I’ve heard a lot of other Trans people describe.” She went on to describe the concept of “Coming out a second time” as sort of “finding yourself more within your identity” and becoming more affirmed in it. She described both Bloodborne and her development on Bloodborne PSX influencing large parts of her life, a good example being how she dresses and presents. As a trans woman myself, this answer delighted me to no end. I, for one, can absolutely 100% relate to the notion of media you experience during such a radical turning point in your life sticking with you. There are plenty of games, shows, music, and books that I still hold very near and dear to me because, as Lilith stated, they were there. All the right things at the right time.

Halfway through our questions, we’ve finally arrived at one pertaining specifically to the development of Bloodborne PSX: “What are some unique challenges you’ve faced developing a game meant to look/play like something made on retro hardware?”

Lilith answers: “So there’s two things, two big things. One is rolling back all of the quality of life improvements we’ve gotten over the years in gaming. Not automatically using keys is always my go-to example.” Something as well I mentioned in my short talk about the game’s gloriously dated feeling gameplay above. “That was definitely very very intentional. Because it’s not just the graphics, right? It was the design sensibilities of the 90s. Bringing that to the surface was very challenging but very fun. Another big part was, since it was one of the first 3D consoles, I wanted to recreate the hype around the fact that ‘ITS IN 3D NOW!’ So if you go into your inventory you’ll see all the objects rendered in beautiful 3D while they slowly spin as you scroll through them.” This is a feature I very much miss seeing in modern video games. 

She continued, “I think the biggest one was the weapon changes. Bloodborne’s whole thing was the weapon transformations. Like, you could seamlessly change your weapons and work them into your combo and do a bunch of crazy stuff, and I kind of said ‘that needs to go immediately.’ So now you have to pause and go to your weapon and press L1 to transform it, that was extremely intentional. So once I had those three big things down it all just sort of fell into place. Like the clunky UI and the janky controls. You need jank and clunk, and I think that’s why Fromsoft games scale down so nicely, because they are jank and clunk.” 

A point I couldn’t agree with more. Despite all the modern streamlining and improvements to gameplay, Fromsoft’s ever-growing catalog of impressive experiences still contains some of that old-school video game stiffness we’ve (hopefully) come to appreciate. She went on to make a point I was very excited to share here in the article, “It was just a lot of trying to nail the feel of the games and not just the look, right? Like I’m not trying to recreate a screenshot; I’m trying to recreate the feeling of playing this weird game that’s barely holding together because the devs didn’t know what they were doing.” In my humble opinion, something she did an excellent job with. 

Fifth on the list was a question relating to her current project, Bloodborne Kart, a concept initially drawn from a popular meme shared around social media sites like Tumblr when the buzz of a Bloodborne sequel was keeping the talking spaces around Fromsoft alight: “Anything to say about the development of Bloodborne Kart or its inspiration?”

Lilith answers: “So first off Bloodborne Kart is less trying to be a simulation of a PS1 game and more just an indie game. It’s not trying to be a PS1 game, I just want it to be a fun kart racer first. Starting off of course is Mario Kart 64, that’s the one I played back in the day. But I looked at other games like Crash Team Racing and Diddy Kong Racing, but also stuff like Twisted Metal of course. I always used those as a template to sort of look at for design stuff like ‘how did they handle what happens to racers after player 1 crosses the finish line.” The next portion of her answer was initially a bit confusing but comes across better when you consider certain elements present in BBK’s battle mode. “And also Halo, like for the battle mode. I had to do a battle mode and it kind of just bubbled to the surface. Split Screen with my sister was such a big part of my childhood. Thinking about Halo multiplayer while I was making the battle mode stuff.” 

Her answer to the previous question began to dip into the topic of our sixth question: “Are there any unique challenges or enjoyable creative points that go into making something like Bloodborne Kart?”

As she continued from her previous answer: “One of the biggest quirks of the battle mode I had to figure out was how to tell what team you were on at a glance, and that came back to Halo again. I started thinking about how you could tell in that game and it hit me that the arms of your suit change to the color of whatever team you’re on. It was just something I never even thought of because it’s so seamless. So that gave me the idea to change the kart colours, and that’s the most recent example of me pulling directly from Halo. It’s wild how a small change like that can turn your game from something unplayable to something fun.” I would agree. Tons of small details and things you don’t think about go into making seamless multiplayer experiences. Some of which we take for granted nowadays. She then made a point about one of the most challenging aspects of BBK’s development, “The most challenging thing was definitely the Kart AI. AI is just my worst skill when it comes to game development among the massive array of skills you need to make a game. It’s really hard to find examples of people coding kart driving AI, You know? You need to make a biped walk around you can find a million tutorials online but if you need to make something drive a kart, not really. I was really on my own there. A lot of the examples out there are very simulation oriented. Like cars using suspension and whatnot, but I’m making a kart racer. So I started simple, I put a navpoint down and if it needs to turn left, turn left, if it needs to turn right, turn right. And I just kept adding features from there.”

Moving onto our last three questions, we started to get a little more personal. Question seven being: “What’s your favorite part of Bloodborne Kart so far?”

Her answer was concise in what she was excited about most, quote: “The boss fights.” Short and sweet but she did elaborate. “Translating a big part of Bloodborne is the boss fights. So I made a short linear campaign which is basically AI battles and races strung together. Some of those stages are just boss fights which are unique to the rest of the game. When you make a video game you sit down and you make all your different modes of interactions, and then you make a multi-hour experience mixing and matching all those different modes in more complicated ways. I think the most interesting part is when that style tends to fall away and it ends up building something entirely unique to that experience.” An example she gave was the infamous “Eventide Island” in Breath of the wild, it being a unique experience where the game’s usual modes of interaction are stripped or limited, forcing you into a more structured experience that ends up being a majorly positive one. “That’s what the boss fights are in Bloodborne Kart. They do multiple game mechanics like a chase that ends in a battle mode. Like Father Gascoine’s fight where he chases you, and after you blow up his kart he turns into a beast and picks up a minigun.” That sounds absolutely incredible. It’s very easy to see why she’d pick the boss fights as her favorite element when they’re clearly intended to be such unique and memorable experiences. 

Our last two questions veer away from the topics of development proper and focus more on our dear dev’s personal thoughts on the matter. Question eight posits: “What’s your personal favorite part of being a game developer?”

After some thought, she gave a very impassioned talk about something she considers to be the best part of the experience: “When people who aren’t game developers think about game development they think of things like ‘oh well you just get to play video games all day and have fun’ but it’s not! Except for the 2% that is, and it’s near the end of development. When all the pieces fall into place and you start actually ‘making the game.’ Game development, especially solo, you’re so zoomed in on specific parts. Because you’re not making a game you’re programming software that’s what making a game is. You spend months working on different systems and then you actually sit down and make a level, and you hit play and it you go ‘Oh my god, I just made a game’. That part is what sustains me. It’s magical. That’s the best part when it comes to true appreciation of the craft aside from the reception.” An answer that I don’t think I could’ve put better if I tried. 

My last question is one that I consider to be the question when it comes to interviewing anyone who works on video games. Perhaps a bit basic, but heartfelt nonetheless: “Anything to say to anyone aspiring to be a game developer?”

Lilith’s answer: “Yes. Just do it. For real. This is what I did and it always felt wrong until I looked at more established devs echoing the sentiment. You cannot plan a game before you’ve started making one. The example I always bring up is the team behind Deus Ex wrote a 500 page design document for the game and almost immediately threw it out when they started development. Just start! You’re going to have unanswered questions and I think that trips people up. Don’t start with your magnum opus idea, start with something simple and achievable. I feel like a lot of people set out with the goal of making a triple-A game, and that’s good! But it can’t be your first game. Game development is creating art, just like any other form of art, and it’s like saying ‘my first drawing is going to be the Mona Lisa’ and it just doesn’t work like that. You need practice and development, and it’s difficult to see that because games take so long and so much, so it’s definitely seen as a bigger undertaking. But it’s still art. You’re still making mistakes and learning from them for your first project. Your next game will be better. View your career as a game developer as a series of games you want to make, and not just one big game.” A perfect response to an otherwise unassuming question. 

Lilith’s passion and love for video games were reflected very clearly in every response she gave during my time with her. Her dedication and appreciation for the art form can be seen in every pixel of Bloodborne PSX, as well as the development logs and test builds of Bloodborne Kart. I really do think that the way she answered my final question speaks volumes to the type of attitude someone should take up when endeavoring to make art as intensive as a video game. Whether it’s fanwork of a game that’s important to you or an entirely new concept, do it. 

(developer of Bloodborne PSX Lilith Walther, image provided by Lilith Walther via Twitter)

Closing:

If you’d like to check out the positively phenomenal experience that is Bloodborne PSX  I’ve included a link to the official itch.io page below the article, as well as a link to the official LWMedia Youtube page where you can check out Lilith’s dev logs, test videos, and animations about her work and other art. Thank you so much for reading, and another very special thank you to Lilith for setting aside some of her time to talk to me about this article. Now get out there and cleanse those foul streets!

Links:

Bloodborne PSX official itch.io page: https://b0tster.itch.io/bbpsx

LWMedia Official Youtube page: https://www.youtube.com/@b0tster

Lilith Walther Twitter page: https://twitter.com/b0tster

[deadpresidents]

On the cliffs of Normandy, in a small holding area, the President of the United States was looking out at the English Channel. It was only six weeks ago, on the 80th anniversary of the D-Day landings, and President Biden had just finished his remarks at the American cemetery atop Omaha Beach. Guests had been congratulating him on the speech, but he didn't want to talk about himself. The moment was not about him; it was about the men who had fought and died there. "Today feels so large," he told me. "This may sound strange -- and I don't mean it to -- but when I was out there, I felt the honor of it, the sanctity of it. To speak for the American people, to speak over those graves, it's a profound thing." He turned from the view over the beaches and gestured back toward the war dead. "You want to do right by them, by the country."

Mr. Biden has spent a lifetime trying to do right by the nation, and he did so in the most epic of ways when he chose to end his campaign for re-election. His decision is one of the most remarkable acts of leadership in our history, an act of self-sacrifice that places him in the company of George Washington who also stepped away from the presidency. To put something ahead of one's immediate desires -- to give, rather than to try to take -- is perhaps the most difficult thing for any human being to do. And Mr. Biden has done just that.

To be clear: Mr. Biden is my friend, and it has been a privilege to help him when I can. Not because I am a Democrat -- I belong to neither party and have voted for both Democrats and Republicans -- but because I believe him to be a defender of the Constitution and a public servant of honor and of grace at a time when extreme forces threaten the nation. I do not agree with everything he has done or wanted to do in terms of policy. But I know him to be a good man, a patriot and a president who has met challenges all too similar to those Abraham Lincoln faced. Here is the story I believe history will tell of Joe Biden. With American democracy in an hour of maximum danger in Donald Trump's presidency, Mr. Biden stepped in the breach. He staved off an authoritarian threat at home, rallied the world against autocrats abroad, laid the foundations for decades of prosperity, managed the end of a once-in-a-century pandemic, successfully legislated on vital issues of climate and infrastructure and has conducted a presidency worthy of the greatest of his predecessors. History and fate brought him to the pinnacle in a late season in his life, and in the end, he respected fate -- and he respected the American people.

It is, of course, an incredibly difficult moment. Highs and lows, victories and defeats, joy and pain: It has been ever thus for Mr. Biden. In the distant autumn of 1972, he experienced the most exhilarating of hours -- election to the United States Senate at the age of 29. He was no scion; he earned it. The darkness fell: His wife and daughter were killed in an automobile accident that seriously injured his two sons, Beau and Hunter. But he endured, found purpose in the pain, became deeper, wiser, more empathetic. Through the decades, two presidential campaigns imploded, and in 2015 his son Beau, a lawyer and wonderfully promising young political figure, died of brain cancer after serving in Iraq.

Such tragedy would have broken many lesser men. Mr. Biden, however, never gave up, never gave in, never surrendered the hope that a fallen, frail and fallible world could be made better, stronger and more whole if people could summon just enough goodness and enough courage to build rather than tear down. Character, as the Greeks first taught us, is destiny, and Mr. Biden's character is both a mirror and a maker of his nation's. Like Franklin Roosevelt and Ronald Reagan, he is optimistic, resilient and kind, a steward of American greatness, a love of the great game of politics and, at heart, a hopeless romantic about the country that has given him so much.

Nothing bears out this point as well as his decision to let history happen in the 2024 election. Not matter how much people say that this was inevitable after the debate in Atlanta last month, there was nothing foreordained about an American President ending his political career for the sake of his country and his party. By surrendering the possibility of enduring in the seat of ultimate power, Mr. Biden has taught us a landmark lesson in patriotism, humility and wisdom.

Now the question comes to the rest of us. What will we the people do? We face the most significant of choices. Mr. Roosevelt framed the war whose dead Mr. Biden commemorated at Normandy in June as a battle between democracy and dictatorship. It is not too much to say that we, too, have what Mr. Roosevelt called a "rendezvous with destiny" at home and abroad. Mr. Biden has put country above self, the Constitution above personal ambition, the future of democracy above temporal gain. It is up to us to follow his lead.

-- "Joe Biden, My Friend and an American Hero" by Jon Meacham, New York Times, July 22, 2024.

[icyg4l]

PAC: Is This Your Last Reincarnation?

Hello beautiful people! Today’s reading is all about information that you will need to survive your *possible* last reincarnation. It comes with the main question answered as well. If you would like to receive a reading, please don’t be afraid to message me privately. Without further ado, choose the picture that resonates with you most!

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-3)

Pile One: When I was feeling out the vibe for your pile, I felt this feeling of celebration. I heard the term “homegoing”. I feel like your spirit still has a lot to learn in this lifetime, specifically to do with your creative abilities. You need to learn to let loose. I feel like your spirit/soul will have struggles with learning to let loose, but by the end of your life, you will have learned your lesson. I can proudly say that this is your last reincarnation, lol. I also think that during this lifetime you will have to be more proud of your desires. You have to be comfortable with showing off your creative side to the world. You remind me of the tortured artist trope. Your soul recognizes that it’s time for you to be free, but you need to learn how to lean into that relaxed version of yourself.

Cards Used: 3 of Discs, Prince of Swords, Princess of Wands, 3 of Cups, The Hanged Man, Strength, Page of Cups, 9 of Cups, 9 of Swords.

extras: wedding gowns. pretty ricky. “on the phone.” oil. banker. the notebook crier. pillow soft.

Pile Two: For you, I heard prized possession. Currently, you are going through some things that have turned your life upside down. But remember, life can always change. You have this mentality where you are sensitive towards everything, and because of that you have the tendency to beat yourself down. You need to master your emotional intelligence and self-compassion before you leave this earth. I think it will take you a while to get a hang of this, so I don’t think this is your last lifetime. I feel like you’re gonna sigh when you see this but it’ll be okay. Your soul is not ready to go yet because of the attachment that you have to the 3D realm. You have to learn to detach. Learn to face your fears baby, you got this.

Cards Used: Ace of Discs, The High Priestess, Wheel of Fortune, 6 of Swords (RX), 9 of Discs, 7 of Discs.

extras: robotic. grits and greens. ruler. “size me up.” beautiful gowns. fuming. inside out (2015).

Pile Three: I would absolutely say that your soul is ready to go for sure. But you have to master the balance of caring for yourself and caring for others. Once you do that, I don’t see why you couldn’t be someone’s permanent ancestor. I feel like you’re a gentle person but you need to be less forgiving. It’s holding you back. You also need to start doing something that is going to say “I was here”. What do you want to leave behind on Earth when you leave” It’s great to still be alive, but are you really living? Also, stop people pleasing tendencies. It’ll lengthen your life. Intentionality is key.

Cards Used: The Devil, 6 of Discs, The Empress, Ace of Discs, 7 of Discs, Strength.

extras: coke bottle. gym socks. religious. captain hook. fried wings. carnival. charles barkley.

[seonghrtz]

𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒚 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 ✶ nanami kento

꒰ first sight ! ꒱ an invitation to a palace ball gives a young woman hope of reuniting with the dashing stranger she met in the woods.

❛❛ an unlikely encounter in the woods between two desperate souls led to the blossoming of a beautiful friendship ⸻ or perhaps something more. ❜❜

pairing. prince!nanami kento x (cinderella)fem!reader.

contents. cinderella alternative universe, fluff, slight angst, friends to lovers, he fell first he fell harder, royal!au, mentions of death, occ nanami.

amy's note. hi sweetie, this is amy!!! this story was more inspired by the cinderella live action movie (2015). i love this movie and have watched it so many times with my mom that i know it by heart hihihi. also, i had to include the iconic scenes of cinderella and the prince in the garden and the stepmother breaking the crystal slipper!!! and one quote from jane austen's pride and prejudice. in short, just nanami being the prince we deserve!!! i hope you enjoy it and have a good read <3

comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

𝕺𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐔𝐏𝐎𝐍 𝐀 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄, there was a beautiful, sweet girl called Y/n. This little girl lived a quiet life with her family. Her father was a merchant who traveled frequently and her mother stayed at home, due to her fragile health, teaching her daughter and taking care of her. Although it was a simple life, Y/n was happy and that was enough for her.

However, fate doesn't always have a happy ending for everyone, and her mother eventually passed away due to health complications. And with her last breath, she wished that her daughter would always be kind and gentle, that she would have courage and always want to do good, even when evil tries to prevail. And Y/n promised her mother that her kindness would prevail in the most difficult moments of her life and that she would live a good life.

Not long after her mother's death, the girl's father decided to remarry, looking for a way for his daughter to have a mother figure, not to replace her biological mother, but someone who could be by her side when he couldn't be. Things didn't go well in the family, her stepmother and stepsisters were mean and abusive, taking advantage of her kindness when her father was away on business. And then everything fell apart when the girl's father had an accident on one of his trips and died, leaving his daughter at the mercy of her stepmother and stepsisters' selfish will.

Y/n was reduced to a maid instead of a family member. She was moved from her room to the attic and had to do the housework, washing and cooking all day. She watched as everything her mother believed in and liked gradually disappeared, while things became more her stepmother's style.

One day, tired of everything, the young woman rode into the forest. The wind in her hair and the tears drying on her face felt a little liberating. That same day, she crossed paths with a young man named Kento, who wasn't having his best day either.

An unlikely encounter in the woods between two desperate souls led to the blossoming of a beautiful friendship ⸻ or perhaps something more.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ✶

Y/n awoke with the sunrise. After years, the young woman had become accustomed to the routine and every morning she rose early to prepare breakfast for her stepmother and stepsisters and then set about cleaning the house. At the very least, doing the chores around the house kept her mind busy.

Just as she was preparing the materials to clean the house, a knock on the front door echoed throughout the house. Y/n left the bucket of water she was holding in a corner and went to the door, surprised by the sudden visit. It was too early for people to leave their homes, and the postman had come the day before.

"Good morning" the young woman smiled politely at the stranger in front of her "What can I do for you?"

"Good morning, miss." The young man fumbled with the bag hanging next to his body and pulled out an envelope, holding it out to the young woman. Y/n took the envelope and watched as the boy said goodbye and walked away without saying another word.

The young woman looked surprised, but shrugged her shoulders. She made her way to the pantry where her stepmother was having breakfast and asked to be excused before entering the room.

"What did I say about coming into the living room while I'm having breakfast?" her stepmother said with a harsh tone.

"Excuse me, but a boy just came by and left this envelope." The young woman placed the envelope on the table and walked away, watching as her stepmother picked it up and opened it.

Y/n waited for a reaction and was startled when the older woman in front of her suddenly stood up from the breakfast table and gave several quick and shouting orders.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, GO WAKE UP MY DAUGHTERS! WE HAVE A ROYAL BALL TO ATTEND AND WE NEED THE BEST DRESSES!”

"A royal ball?" she asked confused.

"The King is giving a ball to find a wife for his son, who will inherit the kingdom, now run along because I need to go into town to find the three best dresses in town! One of my daughters is coming back married that night!"

"Oh, ma'am, that's very kind of you!"

"What?" The stepmother put her hands on her waist.

"The dress..."

"Oh dear, and who says the dress is for you?" the older woman laughed with glee, "Two will be for my beautiful daughters and the other will be for me, I will not spend my money to buy something for you to wear to the ball."

"But could I go to the ball?" she asked hopefully.

"Um..." the stepmother looked the young woman up and down, "If you've done all your chores for the day and have a dress, maybe you could go."

"Ah, thank you, ma'am!" Y/n smiled excitedly at the idea of going to a royal ball.

"Now go wake up my daughters!"

After waking her step-sisters, the young woman watched as the house descended into chaos. The two sisters screamed excitedly at the idea of the royal ball, while their stepmother ordered them to go to the city. Y/n felt true peace only when the house was deserted, just her and the animals in it. And without further ado, the young woman smiled to herself and ran to the stable. Luckily, her stepmother had left just when she had a secret appointment.

On the day she received the news of her father's death, and on the same day she rode aimlessly into the forest, Y/n had met Kento, a young man who had happened to receive tragic news and had ridden into the forest to relax. After the unexpected meeting, the young woman and the man agreed to meet every day in the same place at the same time to talk about their tragedies and successes. However, Y/n had kept these meetings secret, afraid that if her stepmother found out, she would forbid her to meet the boy she knew so little about.

With a slight smile on her face, the young woman rode to the meeting point and was surprised to see Kento waiting for her. Usually, she was the first to arrive, but the euphoria over the news of the ball had delayed her a few minutes.

"Miss." Kento smiled at the sight of her and helped her off the horse.

"Ken, I'm sorry I'm late!" she said, smoothing down the unruly strands that had been messed up by the wind "The invitation to the royal ball ended up stirring things up at home."

"Speaking of the royal ball, will you be attending?" Kento tried to hide the slight hint of hope in his words.

"I still have my doubts about that," she sighed, sitting down on a log next to her horse. "My stepmother said that if I managed to finish all my chores for the day, and if I had a dress, I could go to the ball."

"If they treat you like that, why don't you leave?"

"It's not that easy...not to mention that it's not that bad, other places can be more hostile."

"I see..." the young man sits down next to the woman, "I'd like you to go to the ball so we can have at least one dance.”

The young man's words made her laugh.

"Then I hope you'll save a dance for me."

"I'm saving all the dances for you, you're the only one I want to dance with on the ball night." Kento's words made Y/n feel shy.

"I think there will be many more interesting ladies to dance with." The young woman shifted her gaze to the trees that made up the scenery around her.

"I have no interest in other ladies, none of them can compare to you."

"Kento! You shouldn't say that!"

"Why not? My mother taught me to be honest and I'm just telling the truth," a small smile appeared on his lips.

"Maybe you shouldn't be so direct with your honesty..." The young woman's face burned at the statement of the man next to her.

"Well, I wish you'd come to the ball so we could see each other outside of this forest for once."

"And dance the night away?" she laughed lightly.

"And dance the night away," Kento repeated her question, but this time as a concrete statement, leaving no doubt about his intentions with the young woman on the night of the royal ball.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ✶

If Y/n said she didn't expect her stepmother and stepsisters to make her day the busiest of her life, running around doing chores and being responsible for every little detail of the preparations for the royal ball, she would be lying.

She'd woken up earlier than usual to get her mother's gown ready for the royal ball, but it wasn't long before her stepmother started barking orders, causing her gown to be forgotten. Cleaning the stairs, feeding the animals in the barn, helping her step-sisters put on their huge, garish party dresses, helping them fix their hair... among other things, Y/n had no time to finish her own dress.

Perhaps her meeting with Kento should only take place in the forest, hidden in secret. There would be no other way, not if her stepmother still had the power to dictate orders and interfere in her life as if she couldn't make her own decisions.

When she finished climbing the stairs that led to the attic where her bedroom had become, the young girl was surprised to open the door and find her mother's dress mended, brand new.

"How…?" Y/n approached the dress, delighted, "Oh, it doesn't matter, thank you to whoever made it!" She smiled excitedly, now she could meet Kento and dance with him all night, just as she had said she would if she could attend the ball.

The young woman took a quick shower to get ready for the ball. There wasn't much to prepare, she fixed her dress to her body, put on her pink shoes with low heels, applied pink lipstick and put on her mother's pearl necklace before fixing her hair. She didn't have much, just as she didn't need much. Y/n was just happy to be at the ball and to have the opportunity to meet her friend. And she preferred to keep it simple.

But her happiness was short-lived...

When she came down to the parlor just as her stepmother and daughters were about to leave for the ball. Looking at the girl in her ball gown, with a happy expression on her face, Madame Tremaine saw the perfect moment to break her like fragile old porcelain.

"What's that?" Her stepmother's superior look didn't intimidate Y/n.

"I'm ready to go to the royal ball!"

"You? The ball?" Drizella laughed anasally, "But not even on the day the pigs fly!"

"Mom, I don't want to be seen with the maid! Look at these rags! They don't even compare to our fancy dresses!" Anastasia commented, looking up and down at the young woman in front of her.

"But you promised I could go if I had a dress and finished my homework," the young woman said, remembering the agreement they had made when they were invited to the ball.

"I don't remember promising you anything," Tremaine circled Y/n like a predator circles its prey. "You must have misunderstood, my dear. Never in my life would I go to such an important ball with a filthy, ridiculous little girl like you." The woman held the young woman's chin tightly, forcing her to look into her cold, hateful eyes.

"I don't understand... I've never done anything to you..." Y/n mumbled, her eyes watering as much from the force her stepmother put on her jaw as from the words spoken to her.

"You're an insignificant, annoying little thing, you know that?" Tremaine let go of Y/n's chin and smiled sideways before reaching for the pearl necklace that adorned the young woman's neck and ripping it off with her own hand, startling her. "Oops!" the woman smiled as she tore the sleeve and front of the dress, making her daughters laugh at the scene and help their mother destroy the dress, "Come on girls, we can't be late for the ball.”

Y/n felt her body shake, and when they were gone, the young woman ran quickly, sobbing, to the garden ⸻ the place where she had so many memories with her family, with her mother, and which Tremaine had never been able to change. She sat down on a bench and began to cry, not just for what had happened a few moments ago, but for everything she had been through these past few years without her family.

"But what is a beautiful girl doing crying instead of having fun at the ball?" The voice of a mysterious person startled Y/n, who was trapped in her own world of memories.

"Who... Who are you?" The young woman looked up, startled, and rubbed her eyes to wipe away the tears.

"Your fairy godmother, dear! Or rather, your Fairy Godfather!"

"What?" The young woman looked at the person before her. He was tall, with white hair, blue eyes hidden behind glasses, and a pair of large shiny wings.

"You can call me Gojo if you prefer, now come on, hurry up, we have a ball to attend!" Gojo said hurriedly, pulling Y/n to get up from the bench.

"But I can't go to the ball like this!"

"What do you mean?" His glasses slipped down his nose.

"My dress is torn, I can't go like this."

"And why didn't you say so before?" Gojo raised an eyebrow, "Do you mind a few casual changes?" He pulled his wand from his pocket and smiled when he saw the young woman nod, "Then let's go!"

Gojo scratched his throat before dictating the dress, which completely transformed. The pink quickly turned to blue, and the single layer became several. The dress became voluminous, shiny and elegant, fit for a princess ⸻ and Y/n couldn't help but feel like one in that wonderful dress.

"Let me see your feet," Gojo ordered.

"What? My feet? Why do you want to see my feet?"

"Are you crazy thinking I won't do my full job? You need a proper shoe for that dress!"

Without questioning the fairy, Y/n lifted the hem of her dress to reveal her pink shoes, which in less than a few seconds had been transformed into a beautiful pair of crystal heels.

"Are they crystal?" the young woman asked in shock.

"The real question is, why not crystal? It's just a little gift, honey," Gojo smiled sideways, "Now hurry up, or you'll miss the first dance! Do you have any pumpkins?"

"Pumpkin? There are some over there." Y/n pointed to one of the corners of the garden.

"Wonderful. We have a pumpkin and some mice, perfect for a carriage and its horses." Gojo smiled proudly before casting another spell, transforming the pumpkin into a huge, detailed carriage and the nearby mice into majestic horses, "Now let's go, you can't be late!" He pulled Y/n into the carriage.

"But what about my stepmother and my step-sisters? They'll recognize me when they see me at the ball!"

"Don't worry about that!" Gojo tapped the young girl's head with his wand, "And remember, sweetie, all this magic here will only last until midnight, no longer."

"Until midnight?" Y/n smiled sweetly, "That's long enough, I don't need more than that. Thank you for everything you've done for me."

"No thanks, sweetie, I'm your fairy godfather, it's just my job. Now go to the ball and have fun, break it out!"

"All right!" Y/n laughed, "Thanks again!"

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ✶

Y/n was late.

She realized this when she finished climbing the endless stairs that led to the entrance of the ballroom and found the doors closed.

The young woman took a deep breath before opening the doors, allowing a glimpse of the stairs that would lead to the dance floor and where the other guests were gathered. She bowed when she saw the king on a throne at the top of the hall and walked quietly down the stairs, but the people began to spread out, forming a corridor from one side of the hall to the other.

Noticing the person on the other side, the young woman smiled and walked excitedly toward the person in the middle of the hall.

"Ken," Y/n smiled at the sight of the blonde.

"You came." Kento smiled, lost in the beauty of the woman before him.

"You promised me a dance," she smiled at the memory of their last encounter in the forest.

"Then I would like... I mean... allow me the greatest of pleasures by granting me the honor of letting you lead this... first..."

"Dance?" the young woman said, completing the prince's request.

"Yes, dance." Kento smiled awkwardly with a blush on his cheeks and ears as he saw the woman before him nod in agreement.

Gently pulling her by the waist and holding one of her hands, Kento led the dance as soon as the music began, whirling her around the hall. The young prince held her tightly, afraid that this moment would be one of his dreams, for he had found her fragile in the forest at a time when his own heart was fragile.

"Everyone is looking at you." Y/n mumbled sheepishly as she noticed the eyes of the guests watching them dance around the ballroom.

"You couldn't be more wrong." Kento laughed slightly, "They're looking at you."

When the music for the first dance ended, there was no waiting for the next dance to begin. Soon, the ballroom floor was filled with couples happily dancing to the lively music of the orchestra.

"Come with me." Kento whispered in Y/n's ear and led her out of the room.

"So... you're the prince?" The young woman asked even though it was as obvious as sunlight. She wanted an excuse to strike up a conversation as they walked to wherever Kento wanted to take her.

"Not the Prince, but one of the princes that exist in the world," Kento said awkwardly, "There are several... not just me..."

"But aren't you an apprentice, as you told me when we first met?"

"Yes, I'm an apprentice monarch who is still learning his trade." Nanami's words made Y/n laugh briefly, "First of all, I should apologize. Please forgive me for my lies, I imagined you would treat me differently if you knew I was the prince of these lands, I thought you were a good honest girl and now I have proof that you really are."

"So... no more surprises?" the young woman asks the boy, holding out her hand and showing him her little finger.

"No more surprises." Kento gently intertwined his little finger with the young woman's, wishing the world could stop right then and there. "This way, I promise we'll be right there," he said as he led her through the castle's vast garden.

"Won't they miss you at the ball?"

"Maybe," he shrugged, "but I'm not planning on going back just yet."

"Is there a problem?"

“If I go back now, they'll try to push me towards a lady of their choosing." Nanami said dejectedly, maybe he didn't want to talk about his problems, not on such a magical night. "They want me to marry for advantage.”

"Well, I think you should rule your heart," the young woman said with a slight smile.

"Perhaps, but I must listen to and obey the king's wishes."

"He's your father, Kento, I'm sure he'll understand your point of view, you just need the right time"

"I've never shown this place to anyone before," Kento said, changing the subject when they reached the spot he wanted to show the young woman. "It's a secret garden, I thought you might like it.”

"I love it!" Y/n smiled as she explored the area until she came to a swing attached to a tree.

"Please," the young prince said, motioning for her to sit on the swing as soon as he noticed her gaze.

"I don't know if I should," the young woman said shyly.

"Yes, you should."

"No, I shouldn't."

"Yes, you should."

"No."

"Yes!"

"Okay." She shrugged, gave in and sat down on the swing, and Nanami soon began to push her gently.

Y/n had as much fun as Nanami. They'd never met outside the confines of the forest, and even after so many surprises that beautiful night, they couldn't help but feel the magic ⸻ and love ⸻ in the air. There, at that moment, Nanami Kento wasn't a prince about to be thrown to the first rich princess who would sign a contract favorable to the kingdoms, and Y/n wasn't the maid of her stepmother and stepsisters who was constantly being abused. They were just themselves, without their titles, without what defined them, they were just two souls in love, enjoying the time they had left.

When Y/n's crystal shoe accidentally came off her foot, Nanami quickly stopped pushing her on the swing and crouched down in front of her, taking the shoe in his hands. He held up the hem of her dress, revealing Y/n's bare foot, and gently picked it up to put the shoe back on her foot.

"Is it crystal?" Nanami's hand, holding the young woman's foot, unconsciously patted her ankle.

"And why wouldn't it be?" she said gracefully, "Thank you."

"Y/n... would you accept..." The young prince's speech was cut short as the clock struck midnight.

"It's midnight..." The young woman got up from the swing, causing Nanami to get up with her in fright. "I have to go!"

"Wait!" Nanami watched as the young woman hurried past the exit of the garden. "Why do you have to go now?"

"Your Royal Highness is very kind, thank you for the wonderful evening," she said as she walked in quick steps, "I will never forget every second we spent together, it was magical. And who knows, maybe we can meet again in the forest."

"Why are you in such a hurry?"

"It's hard to explain! But I promise we'll meet again!" Y/n smiled as she ran frantically.

"Y/n! Where are you going?" Kento ran after the young woman, but unfortunately, there were several obstacles in his way. It was as if the universe didn't want him to reach her at this moment.

As she descended the castle's long staircase to the exit gates, she lost one of her crystal slippers on one of the steps. Fearing the final chime of the clock, the young woman left the shoe behind, believing that its magic would eventually fade, and it would be nothing more than a lost heel.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ✶

All the magic vanished when Y/n arrived home, leaving only her little crystal shoe on her foot. The young woman bent down and picked up the only remaining shoe ⸻ since she had lost the other pair ⸻ and smiled as she looked at the shoe in her hands. The fact that it was there proved that it hadn't been a dream, but a real event.

Y/n went up to the attic and on a loose floor ⸻ where she kept some of her mother's things ⸻ she put on the crystal slipper. She knew deep down that something bad would happen if her stepmother found out that she hadn't just gone to the ball, but had danced with the prince.

Ah, the prince.

Not even in her wildest dreams would the young girl imagined that the boy she had met in the forest, and who had been meeting her at the same place at the same time ever since, was actually the prince, the future king, of the kingdom where she lived.

Kento had always been polite and kind to her, always willing to listen and talk about anything. He was already the man of every girl's dreams, and now that she knew his status, it had only been confirmed ⸻ but Y/n didn't want him because of his status

However, apparently he would only remain in her dreams...

The next day, Y/n went back to her routine as if the night before had never happened. She woke up early, prepared the food, took care of the animals in the stable, cleaned the house... Nothing was different, except for her memories and the hidden crystal slipper.

When her step-sisters finally gave her a break and spared her from hearing about the men who had danced at the ball and how a young girl in a blue dress had dared to go straight to the prince after setting foot in the ballroom, Y/n headed for the attic.

In the afternoon, she would go to the forest as usual to meet Kento. The young woman wasn't sure if he would show up that afternoon, but she hoped with all her heart that he would be waiting for her among the trees. As he always did.

As soon as she opened the door to her room, the young woman noticed that some floors were out of place, and when she noticed that her memory box was out of its hiding place, her heart began to beat fast and her palms began to sweat with nervousness.

"Is this what you were looking for?" Tremaine's voice startled Y/n, but her fear was soon replaced by surprise when she saw the slipper in her hand. "Oh dear, don't look so scared. I'm only going to ask you once. From whom did you steal it?"

"I didn't steal it from anyone, it was given to me!"

"Given to you? Oh, for heaven's sake, nothing is ever given, especially to someone like you!"

"I swear it was a gift!"

"So you're going to insist on the lie?" Tremaine let out a bored sigh and walked to the attic exit, tapping Y/n on the shoulder on the way, "Good thing you'll have plenty of time to think... Oh oops!" The woman slammed the crystal slipper into the door frame, shattering it into a thousand pieces.

Y/n's eyes filled with tears as she saw the shattered shoe on the floor, barely noticing Tremaine lock the door. The young woman knelt down and picked up each shard, feeling the tears blur her vision. The first gift she had received after so many years was broken and there was nothing that could fix it. Now only the memories remained.

Y/n sighed, wiped the tears from her eyes with her hands and sat down by the window. She had nowhere else to go, she wouldn't be meeting with Kento like she used to. The only thing she had left were her animal friends to keep her company.

Not long after, the door to the attic was opened, frightening the young woman ⸻ she swore that Tremaine would lock her in there for days, or perhaps just until the next day. But she was soon surprised to see a palace guard instead of her stepmother.

"Miss, please come with me.”

Without saying a word, Y/n followed him down the stairs to the living room. When she reached the living room, she noticed a figure she knew well. His clothes were in perfect condition, with no wrinkles or stains, his blond hair was perfectly styled with not a single strand out of place, and his posture was upright and impeccable. There was no doubt that Nanami Kento was a perfect prince.

"Your Royal Highness," Y/n said, bowing.

"I thought we agreed to treat each other without formalities, Y/n." Nanami turned, his serious expression relaxing slightly as he met the bright eyes of the young woman before him.

"Forgive me." Y/n murmured shyly.

"When you ran away during the ball and didn't show up in the forest as usual, I thought maybe I had disappointed you by revealing my true identity as the prince. I thought maybe I should give you some space, but I couldn't. Your name is engraved on my heart, and you are the only thing that crosses my mind every moment I breathe in and out. Every day I looked forward to seeing you for even a few seconds in the forest, and when you didn't show up today, I felt like my world was about to fall apart. I looked for you all over the kingdom, I went from house to house looking for the owner of the lost crystal slipper, I went to the edge of the forest looking for you. I love you, most ardently. I'm yours with or without the crown". Nanami approached Y/n and held her hand to his chest, making the young woman feel his heart beat faster.

"But Nanami, I'm just a simple farmer's girl, and as much as my heart wants to throw myself into your arms and give myself completely, I don't know if I'm suited for such a responsibility."

"A wise woman once told me that we must rule our own hearts. Please come with me and I will be yours forever.”

"Eternally mine? That doesn't sound so bad..." Y/n murmured, her heartbeat calming down to a feeling that was too good to be true.

"So, what do you say?" Kento smiled slightly.

"I'll be yours, any way you want.”

Then Nanami, overcome by the heat of the moment, passionately kissed the woman of his dreams. The kiss was calm, there was no need to rush, it was tender and addictive.

Y/n smiled as they moved away from each other and felt Kento place something in her hand. The young woman looked down at her hand, noticing the missing pair of her crystal shoes.

"You... you found them," she looked at the shoe in her hands, "I don't have the other pair."

"I can have a thousand crystal shoes made if you want." Nanami said with a serious face, showing that he wasn't joking.

"That won't be necessary." Y/n laughed at his lover's expression. "It's just a reminder that that magical night wasn't just a nice dream."

Kento smiled slightly and hugged Y/n tightly. Finally, after a long time, the girl he had always dreamed of, the girl who had always made his heart race, she would finally be by his side forever, there would be no need for him to run off into the forest, because she would already be within reach.

© seonghrtz, 2024. all rights reserved, please do not copy / steal / translate / modify any of my works !

[natailiatulls07]

part two to lemon sherbets!! it was so so cute!!

Lemon Sherbet Pt.2

Mafia!Lando Norris x female!reader

Summary - He did it, Lando Norris did it. He managed to get her to marry him

Warning - swearing, Mafia??

A/n - This is also inspired by a scene from Legend (2015) &lt;3

-

Lando had her. With much fight, Lando managed to be vulnerable for Y/n. He showed his gentle side, he always did. And in amongst Landos chaotic and dangerous lifestyle, the gangster proposed.

Today, a bright and colourful spring day, was the eagerly anticipated wedding day. Close family, friends and gangsters gathered in the small church. All dressed in the requested colourful dress code, but one.

The mother of the bride, M/n L/n was dressed head to toe in black. It was like she was attending a funeral. Sticking out like a sore thumb.

A black McLaren pulled into the small car park, Lando Norris emerging in a smart and slick suit. His usual.

Whispers were heard. Everyone immediately noticing the infamous gangster. “Look it’s Lando…”

The curly hair gangsters eyes flickered around, well aware of his surroundings. Until his eyes stopped, stopped on the mother of the bride. The only person dressed in black.

Max Fewtrell, his bestfriend, immediately walked up to Lando when he saw how his face turned to a scowl. “All right, all right”

Eyebrows frowned, Lando just stared at M/n who stared back. “She’s wearing black” He only wanted today to be perfect for Y/n and her own mother was ruining that.

“Yeah, I know I know…” All Max was doing to calm down his bestfriend, not wanting to cause a scene. “She read it wrong, hasn’t she? She thought it was a fucking funeral”

Max had grown to like his bestfriends lover, was very friendly. “Wearing black, that fucking bitch” Lando muttered, fighting off his ongoing anger.

“Don’t drive yourself mad” Lando turned from his bestfriend to look at M/n again. Still staring down at him, she had unimpressed look.

Never did she want this relationship. Always telling Y/n that he would just use her for her beauty.

Max muttered. “Wait until you see the daughter” He knew how Y/n calmed Lando down. “She looks unbelievable in white…” And he was hoping this would do just that.

-

The guests and the Mafia boss gathered in the chapel. Lando and Max stood at the alter, looking down the aisle. “What do you see in her?”

Lando took a deep breath, he saw everything in this women. “Well, I see…” The lad paused. “I see me self, yeah, I see…”

In that moment Max knew his bestfriend, the once shell of a man, had a heart and Y/n had full control of it. “I see what I could be. You know?” Lando continued, he had a nervous facial expression.

“If I weren’t scared”

Max stifled a laugh, his bestmate was never scared. Y/n really had an effect on Lando, so much effect. “You’re not scared of anything”

Turning for a second, Lando looked at Max. “Yeah” Their faces holding knowing grins. Both well aware of the womens effect on him.

-

Just outside, Y/n and Leo had just arrived in the wedding car. She was dressed in her chosen dress, flowers in hand and vail pulled down over her face.

They climbed the stairs to the doors of the chapel, where their mother stood still looking unimpressed. In a hushed whisper, Y/n spoke. “What’s she doing?”

Leo annoyed at his mother for trying to ruin the day. “Well you know what she’s gonna be saying” He knew how much their mother hated this relationship but Leo just wanted his little sister to be happy. “So just take it easy, deep breaths”

The pair had reached the top of the stairs, now face to face with M/n. “Why you not inside yet?”

Without a beat M/n spoke. “Are you sure you wanna go through with this?” Leo tried to interrupt and quieten her but Y/n stopped him.

“It’s all right, Leo…” She inhaled a deep breath before turning back to their mother. “I love him”

M/n’s eyes were piecing. “Love” There was a pause. “Do you even know what love is?”

Looking down, Y/n replied quickly. “I know it’s not an answer to anything. But love is a witness, Lando sees me” She was so used to being berated and criticised by her mother that to Y/n, Lando made her feel free and loved. “And I see him”

She shook her head. “And who are you to refuse that?”

Leaning down slightly, M/n spoke again. This time harsh and bitter. “I’m your mother.” And with that, she walked off into the chapel.

The two siblings watched their mother walking in, silence filled the air around them until. “Wow…” Leo broke the silence.

Y/n turned to look other at her brother. “What?” Confused evident.

“Nothing it’s just…” He paused and Y/n could swear that she saw tears welling up in his eyes. “You really love him, because you would never talk to mum like that…”

It was safe to say that Leo was baffled. Y/n never once spoke back to her mother, but now she had that confidence to. All because of Lando.

It was the same for Lando. He was becoming softer, just for her. More gentle and sympathetic. There was a small difference in each, but everyone could see it as clear as day.

“Let’s get you married then!”

-

[matcha-dango]

Wifely Duties

Alhaitham x F!Reader [NSFW]

CW : smut / dubcon / choking / degradation / overstim / dacryphilia / sadistic dom character x sub reader

Word Count : 2015

The reason why Alhaitham took on the Akademiya’s Scribe work is simple : the job was easy and it paid well, he didn’t even have to follow the guidebook word by word as long as his performance was deemed satisfactory. Unfortunately, after throwing the government, he was practically forced to become the Acting Grand Sage and fulfill duties he absolutely did not sign up for. 

There was no guarantee he was going to find a good candidate to replace him soon enough, or at all. He might be forced to either pick a not so desired applicant, either truly become Sumeru’s Grand Sage. None of those options pleased him and added more stress than necessary, as if his workload wasn’t already tiring him out. 

Thankfully, he had his pretty and lovely wife waiting for him at home, always ready for him. 

Nothing was going well today. By the time Alhaitham could clock out, he was done with the daily tasks and yet, a pesky member of the Akademiya holding a folder as thick as a dictionary desperately needed his attention 6 minutes before he could leave. This was the final nail in the coffin. 

One look was enough. The man profusely apologised and ran away, saying he’d come back the next day. Great. Alhaitham just couldn't wait to see him again. 

Alhaitham had a few minutes left before he was officially gone, he took the opportunity to tidy up his large desk and the bookshelves behind him. Now, it was time to go, finally. 

As soon as he left the House of Daena, a hurried student almost knocked him off but feeble as he was, Alhaitham easily avoided the damage – but the annoyance level still increased. The moment he stepped out of the Akademiya, a running matra was about to crash into him but once more, Alhaitham was quick on his feet and managed to not get into contact. Almost as if Celestia was testing him today with those attempts at ruining his peace for the past few weeks. 

Alhaitham decided to take a different route to get home, by avoiding the bustling market and busy streets. It could have been a good idea if he didn’t accidentally step on a Sumpter Beast’s pungent faeces. That was the last thread holding him back. 

You knew what time to expect your husband to come home, so you started making dinner in advance to surprise him with a warm slice of his favourite dish and freshly brewed tea. Right as you set the plate on the table in your living room and covered it with a napkin to keep it warm, you heard the door open with a loud bang, which startled you. But as soon as you saw who came in, you got reassured. 

Until you noticed his rather angry expression and, knowing him, if he was visibly pissed off… 

“H-hey, welcome back…Tough day at work, I guess ?”

With each word Alhaitham was taking a step towards you, making you instinctively walk backwards. But his stride covered more ground and you found yourself trapped between a wall and his tall frame, as he placed – slammed – his hand near your head, without breaking eye contact. Oh you were screwed. 

“It was, darling, it was. But your almost defiant behaviour is not helping alleviate my mood.”

You felt his hand on your hips, slowly but firmly gliding up. 

“How about eating first ? It got ready just as you got back home !”

Your husband already made his choice and he let you know by finally catching up to your breast and squeezing it, just as he roughly grazed your neck with his lips. You tried to push him away by attempting to remove his hand still on your chest but Alhaitham wasn’t having any of it. He harshly bit your shoulder, hard enough for the mark to be visible for days. 

When he stepped back, you thought he calmed down but the look in his eyes told a very different story. A mix of annoyance and carnal desire, that made you unwillingly clench down on nothing. You bit your lower lip in shame but your husband knew all of your tales by now. 

All of a sudden, he lifted you off the ground and quickly carried you to your shared bedroom. He kicked the door open and almost threw you on the bed, before getting on top of you. Alhaitham was not in the mood to waste any more time. He grabbed your blouse and forcibly opened it, exposing your bare chest. 

The view made him smirk in satisfaction. 

You attempted to cover yourself. That, he did not like. He reached over to the drawer near your bed and took out a smooth yet sturdy handkerchief, the one he always used to tie your hands up whenever you wouldn’t behave. Before you could process it, he caught both your wrists and restricted your movements with the said fabric. 

Having you now under control, he kissed you like a hungry beast. His hands were sliding up and down your torso, but one went lower down to your thighs and up, cupping your clothed groin. You pressed your thighs together in an attempt to keep his hand away and in response, Alhaitham broke the kiss and pinched your thigh, demanding you to open them for him. 

Averting your eyes, you relaxed your muscles, which he took as his opportunity to spread your legs further apart. He then traced your panties up and down, slightly adding pressure where your clit was. Shortly, Alhaitham felt a damp spot getting bigger and bigger where your entrance was, making him scoff. 

“I do have a great wife, huh. But you know what would make it better ?”

You shook your head in response. Alhaitham smiled in a sweet yet condescending way, his other hand now cupping your cheek, rubbing gently circles on your skin.  

“Fucking you like the slut you are, sweetheart.”

Your eyes got wide in shock as you felt him suddenly push your panties aside and slide a finger inside of you. A whimper escaped your lips. 

“Oh baby, aren’t you the loveliest ?”

His thumb caressed your clit, smearing your love juices all over your pussy at the same time. Each stroke made your clench on his finger ; he knew he was that good and all of your reactions fed his ego. And made him greedy. 

Alhaitham wanted to hear you moan his name and the easiest way was to make you cum. Which is why he increased his pace, before adding a second finger and changing the motion to a scissoring one. You loved how his longer and bigger fingers would reach all the spots your tinier digits simply couldn’t. 

“A-Alhaitham!”

That was more like it. But his flourishing greed only made him want you to say it louder. Loud enough so all neighbours would know who was making you feel so, so good. 

His skilled movements didn’t falter a bit, they quickened instead. You felt a very familiar knot in your belly, a telltale for your impending orgasm. Alhaitham’s fingers got faster and faster, his thumb flicking your clit just as speedily. Your husband’s disdainfully pleased look plastered on his face altered to a sadistic, vicious expression. 

Alhaitham stilled himself, before painfully slowly removing his hand. You looked at him confused with a very obvious neediness in your eyes. He knew how close you were, so why ?

“Did you really think I’d let you cum after the attitude you showed me earlier ?”

“...you’re the worst.”

“Oh, really ? Have I been that nice to you, that you don’t even know what “the worst” looks, feels like ?”

You might have been screwed earlier, but now even prayers to all of the Seven couldn’t help you. 

“Wait, I'm sorry !”

“Too late, darling. No more holding back now.”

Alhaitham forcefully pushed your leg up to your chest to fold you in half, having your throbbing pussy conveniently accessible just for him. One quick glance was enough to have you still, while he freed himself from the constraint of his too tight pants. 

After gathering your slick between your puffed up folds, he pushed his cock past your entrance all the way in, feeling your deepest parts against his tip. Alhaitham didn’t let you adjust to his large size and straight up started moving at a maddening pace. 

The aching and pleasant sensation flowed through your whole body, the pleasure quickly overwhelming any pain you initially felt. And, once more, you felt your walls tighten around him. This time he didn't stop, his hips kept meeting yours. Your moans got louder and louder, until you finally reached your high. 

Alhaitham didn’t stop then either. In fact, he managed to accelerate his thrusts without making them shallow in the process. The overstimulating feeling was making your body twitch under him, your words being a blabbery mess. 

That didn’t mean he had no idea though. Quite the opposite, in reality. If you were obedient from the start, he would have allowed you to cum on his fingers, but you weren’t. If you weren’t so bratty about it, he would have denied your orgasm but made this one only more intense. Yet, your behaviour did not meet his criteria a single time. 

Since you wanted to cum so badly to the point of talking back, he decided he was going to grant your wish. Unfortunately, it was on his terms. 

A malevolent smirk appeared on his traits when he felt your walls clamp around him impossibly tightly again. If he had to teach you a lesson, he was going to do it properly. You felt Alhaitham’s hand back on your clit, giving it rapid strokes in an up and down motion. You came on the spot. 

Alhaitham gripped your thigh tighter while exhaling as you fluttered around him like crazy. Your tight pussy felt so damn good he could paint your walls white in this instant with you. However, he wasn’t done with your punishment yet. He didn’t release all of his pent up frustration in its entirety. 

“P-please… no m-more…”

With all your remaining strength you managed to wiper your request, begging for rest, but your husband only ever so slightly reduced the speed of his pounding inside your needy little pussy and flickers on your abused clit. Tears fell from your eyes, it was just too much. 

The sight of his wife’s tearful flushed face made his cock throb inside of you. His hand that was still resting on your face the whole time moved up and wiped away your tears of pleasure. Seeing his love becoming so compliant with his cock buried deep inside to the hilt was definitely a favourite view of his. 

“You’re so beautiful like this, darling.” 

The pleading look in your eyes evoked pity, at least enough to make you cum again. This time, he stopped his motions and let your pussy milk him, filling you up. The sensation was so intense you felt your consciousness wavering. Eyes tightly shut, you clenched your wrists one last time. 

After a while, Alhaitham slowly pulled out and watched his cum leak from your used hole. Chests heaving, pants hot and heavy, the bedroom was filled with your passion. You opened your eyes, looking for your husband in a sinful haze. 

He got closer to you and tenderly kissed you. You returned the kiss, as your breath was much steadier. 

“It smelled good earlier, by the way.”

“Thanks, baby. We should eat it soon, although it’s probably cold now.” 

“I’ll heat it up and bring it here on a tray, so charge up.”

Alhaitham stood up as he finished speaking, not giving you time to answer. You tried to sit up but your body had lost all of its energy. A dozen minutes later, Alhaitham came back as promised. 

“Shouldn’t we shower before eating ?” 

A devilish grin appeared on your husband’s face, oh no. How cute of you. Alhaitham gave you a sweet kiss, before he spoke up. 

“Didn’t I tell you I’ll show you my worst ?”

[too-young-to-fall-in-love]

Let Me Hold You (in anger and in grief)

Fandom: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)

Pairing(s): Illya Kuryakin/Napoleon Solo

Warning(s): none

Word count: 591

Summary: He’s so close, so close to losing it. Solo knows, but there’s not much he can do under such scrutiny. And yet, after a certain point, it would seem that he stops caring.

Their target stood in front of them, back turned as he smirked at them through the mirror in front of him. Through the reflective glass, Napoleon could see the man’s lips moving, though he could barely hear what he said, focused as he was on his partner, whose finger was currently twitching staccatos on his upper thigh. His whole body was trembling, shoulders a tense line straight across, and his eyes were like pools of ice where Napoleon could see them in the mirror.

Just watching him made his heart ache; an undeniable surge of grief throbbing in his chest. He wanted so badly to reach out and touch, to do something about what was happening in front of him, but every possible reaction died before thought could lead to action.

He chanced a step forward, kitty corner, hoping that their target wouldn’t notice, though he was so busy prattling on that Napoleon thought it a wonder he even knew they were there at all. He wasn’t paying attention to them, Napoleon noted, because he was now right beside his partner, close enough to feel the heat radiating off of him, quite usual for this point of an episode.

Napoleon no longer knew what he was on about, but Peril must’ve, seeing as how his finger was no longer twitching at his side, a sign that he had only seconds before their cover was blown and massive destruction ensued.

Without thinking, or perhaps giving up on the concept, Napoleon grasped Illya’s still-shaking hand in his.

He screwed his eyes shut, waiting for the rejection that was sure to follow; rejection he knew would follow so bold a move. However, none came.

“Peril,” he murmured, voice soft so as not to disturb the man in front of them, even though there was no chance of him being disturbed, anyway. The agent now beside him gave no indication that he’d heard, but where Napoleon had been incredibly careful not to apply too much pressure to his gentle grip, Illya squeezed his hand tight enough for the bones to crack together.

“Illya,” he tried, hoping the sound of his name would help to snap him out of whatever funk he was in. His fingers loosened slightly, but that was the only indication that he’d heard.

Thanking his lucky stars that he hadn’t been caught, he pushed his luck even more and stroked the back of Illya’s hand with his thumb, gentle, circular strokes that he hoped were grounding, or at least a little bit welcome.

He could feel the way Illya relaxed at the gentle touch, the stiff line of his shoulders easing into a more natural curve. Solo watched as the anger practically drained out of his partner’s body, basking in the warmth that overcame him when he felt him leaning ever so slightly against his shoulder. He bit back a dazed smile and forced his eyes to stay open as he traced his thumb in gentle patterns, Illya’s hands finally beginning to relax and no longer twitching like mad.

Just in time, too, because their target turned around right as Waverly’s team of agents burst through and arrested him on the spot.

“Great work keeping him talking, boys,” Waverly said, but there was a knowing glint to his eyes, as if he’d been witness to their little show, and Solo forced down a very unbecoming blush because there was no way anyone else knew about the occurrence except him and Illya. And, yeah, he’d like to keep it that way.

[doctorofmagic]

Doctor Strange's disability: a (much needed) chronological review

In view of recent ableism and drama on the other social hellsite involving Doctor Strange's disability, here's my response, based on *CANON* material. (link to the thread on said hellsite here)

Stephen disability is established since 1963, back in Strange Tales #115. The story is focused on a flashback which portrays his journey from the decay of his medical career because of a car accident to his path towards the mystic arts.

Note that, in this very same issue, the Ancient One never says he would heal Stephen's *hands*, but perhaps Stephen would find the cure within. In other words, Stephen was supposed to heal his heart and soul from arrogance and egoism through magic, not a physical cure.

Also note that there are limitations within every aspect of comic books' universes. In this case, we're talking about magic. Magic is not a miracle thing. It demands training and, most recently as established by v4, a cost (Doctor Strange v4 #4).

Another clue that "magic can heal anything because it's fantasy" is not a valid argument within Marvel's magic world, as seen in The Oath. Stephen had access to the Otkid's Elixir, which could heal any disease, but the formula was lost in order to save Wong's life.

One last example comes from Spider-Man Family #5 (2007), featuring Morbius and Spidey. It establishes that healing demands the exact same price when it comes to magic.

Long story short, it's clear that the magic side of Marvel does not offer a solution to diseases through magical miracles. So this argument is totally invalid ~within~ this established universe.

Now back to Doctor Strange... No, he isn't using magic to heal his hands unlike some misleading accounts are claiming. In fact, there are several panels which show that he's actually in constant pain. Here's some examples:

- Doctor Strange - Sorcerer Supreme #48 (1992).

- Captain Marvel v10 #6 (2019)

- Doctor Strange v4 #1 (2015)

He also struggles to hold a pen and write, relying on magic to do so, as seen in the Book of the Vishanti.

Then comes the stupid argument I saw.

"Oh, but Google says his hands are healed!" is not a gotcha moment you think it is. We had FOUR MAIN BOOKS after that (Surgeon Supreme, DODS, Strange v3 and current v6). Allow me to clarify the details in chronological order.

Stephen indeed made a "magic" gamble and healed his hands. That much is correct. But it's not all (panels from Doctor Strange v5 #19 - 2019).

Waid continued this storyline in a new book called Dr. Strange (Surgeon Supreme), which would portray Stephen's duality as the Sorcerer Supreme and a brilliant surgeon. Except the book was cancelled at issue #6 (2020), leaving the character in a kind of limbo. Now enter MacKay.

MacKay kept a little bit of the former storyline as seen in Death of the Doctor Strange #1 (2021). On top of that, his hands appeared healed. However, that lasted only until Kaecilius murdered Stephen and stole his hands.

Stephen's temporal duplicate used a regenerative spell to bring original Stephen back through Kaecilius' body and the stolen hands. In here, we can see that his hands are scarred just like after the car accident (DODS #5 - 2022). OG Stephen died a second time with scars as well.

Stephen is indeed seen writing in v6 but it's not clear if he's using magic or not. Besides, he's not working as a surgeon anymore. Moreover, MacKay considers Stephen disabled as seen in this recent issue of v6 (#7 - 2023): "My own connection to the aether, the magic of the world, the power of the Vishanti, the power of the Sorcerer Supreme... Gone. Without all of that? I am just an old man with useless hands and a blade in his stomach."

In conclusion,

As of CURRENT DOCTOR STRANGE RUN by Jed MacKay and Pasqual Ferry, in the year of our lord Vishanti, 2024, Stephen Strange is a disabled character and no magic or ableism will erase that. Thank you very much.

[valyrfia]

f1 drivers as tracks from the tortured poets department: a very abridged and very biased list.

DISCLAIMER: this is all for fun and should be taken very lightheartedly. Not all drivers were included, but I am open to suggestions as well as constructive criticism.

Without further ado:

CHARLES LECLERC - I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

Absolutely suicidal lyrics that should be mildly concerning but all in all very upbeat and makes you want to run around doing side quests. Such as write an album, or open an ice cream shop. I'm thinking this is specifically 2022 Charles when he trusted no one at Ferrari, or mid-2023 when everyone was calling him washed and calling for his teammate to be n1 driver, and then he proceeded to put it on pole in a tractor multiple times and still hasn't finished outside the top 5 since. Either way, I am looking forward how this song will hit when Charles gets his eventual championship.

MAX VERSTAPPEN - Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

This one is for Mad Max, who was thrust onto the world stage as an untested young prodigy at seventeen, who was called too young and immature and proceeded to win a GP upon debut in a top team, who was called Crashtappen from 2015-2019 and labelled as overly aggressive to his detriment, who was painted as a villain by every media outlet and documentary and DTS episode, who said "fuck the haters" and won championships anyway, who broke records, and made his own national anthem the expected song for every podium. A driver who is fast approaching greatest of all time status, for his win streaks alone. A driver that most others now just shrug about, because there's no shame in not choosing to fight the inevitable.

LEWIS HAMILTON - So Long, London

Ah, the heart-wrenching track of letting go of your long-term British relationship that doesn't serve you anymore. So many lyrics from here I could apply to the rumoured break down of amicable relations between Lewis and Mercedes, the team he won six championships with. From "My spine split from carrying us up the hill" to "I didn't opt in to be your odd man out. I founded the club she's heard great things about" to "you say I abandoned the ship But I was going down with it. My white-knuckle dying grip. Holding tight to your quiet resentment". Honestly, I could copy and paste all the lyrics here and they would apply to Lewis' Merc swan song. Taylor wrote "you swore that you loved me but where were the clues, I died on the altar waiting for the proof." about Abu Dhabi 2021.

CARLOS SAINZ - The Prophecy

Carlos has been delivering some of the best drives of his career this season, but it doesn't matter because he's not the chosen one, he's not il predestinato, he's not the son of Maranello. No matter what he does, he would never have kept that Ferrari seat over the mythos of Charles Leclerc. "Let it once be me. Who do I have to speak to, to redo the prophecy?"

LANDO NORRIS - Guilty as Sin?

Specifically given for half-flirting with Red Bull for most of last season, only to shake himself out of it and re-sign with McLaren, but I have one eye on him, not entirely sure he's given up on the Red Bull daydream, and Red Bull have been open about wanting to get him, if they can. It's all on Lando to stay faithful.

OSCAR PIASTRI - Fresh Out the Slammer

Piastrigate continues to inspire and compel an entire generation of F1 fans, and as such should form the basis of Oscar's song selection. What was the promises that Alpine made him, if not "Gray and blue and fights and tunnels Handcuffed to the spell I was under For just one hour of sunshine"

FERNANDO ALONSO - Florida!!!

Florida!!! is a big and powerful song about being a Shakespearean villain with a History and questionable morals and motives. Who is that if not Fernando Alonso? "Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable." "Is that a bad thing to say in a song?"

LANCE STROLL - But Daddy I Love Him

Yeah this one is self-indulgent and too good to resist. He's singing it about Fernando btw. Next.

DANIEL RICCIARDO - Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

Someone is getting that Red Bull seat next year, and every name is on the list except Daniel Ricciardo. "As the decade played us for fools, you saw my bones out with somebody new." Who knows what would have happened if Daniel hadn't left Red Bull, all those years ago? "Just say you loved me the way you were" Oof. We could spend years living in the What Ifs of it all.

[imaginaryf1shots]

My Girls (XI) | Max Verstappen

WC: 7.6K

Driver!OC x Max Verstappen

Summery: Cecilia Hansson daughter of a Swedish billionaire, a race car driver, with a dream of making it big in Formula 1. However she has a few secrets that may hurt her as women are disliked in the sport.

Series Warnings: google translated french, dutch, cursing, child abandonment, absent father, drinking, car accidents, Jos Verstappen, misogyny, Christian horner (tell me if i missed anything)

AN: The next chapter will be the last one 🙂

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Max Masterlist

Previous | Next

He Who Must Not Be Named

It was a normal day in MonacoIt was a normal day in Monaco. Adeline was home alone for the day. Her husband was in Sweden for work with Laurent. Cecilia was off racing with Nathalie and Max. Adeline was relaxing a bit before heading out to meet her friends for lunch. Adeline is a graceful, soft-spoken woman. Her early life was hard, but when she married Börje, she married up and now lives a life of luxury. Her husband likes to pamper her and give her everything she ever dreamed of.

When the doorbell rang Adeline was confused, she wasn't expecting anyone or anything, her mind went to how sometimes Cecilia orders stuff to their house if she doesn't want Max to see it or they weren't there and didn't want anyone to get in their apartment.

Opening the door she was rendered speechless, here stood the man that she once welcomed into her own, the man she treated like family, a man that she treated like a son something he never experience, the man her family showed so much love to, here stood the man that caused her daughter so much anguish and hurt but gave her the best thing in her life. 

“It’s good to see you Adeline.” The man had a smirk on his face, his hands in his pockets and his voice cocky. Adeline had to blink a couple of times and swallow before she was able to get her voice back.

”Mathew, what are you doing here?” Last she saw him was in 2015 and it wasn’t on good terms.

”I came to see Nathalie.” Mathew said and stuck his head inside looking around, where all this attitude came from, she had no idea. He wasn’t like this when he was with Cecilia, the nerve of him turning up at her doorsteps 7 years after his daughter was born and asking for her. “Won’t you invite me in?”

”No.” Adeline said and held the door tighter, she was blocking his way in, the usually nice and polite woman doesn’t really hate anyone, she holds no hate in her heart, but, Mathew, he’s the exception. She holds so much hate and resentment towards him, all those feelings that she gained seeing how heartbroken her daughter was when he broke up with her and chose not to be a part of Nathalie’s life, before she was even born. all those feelings that went away with years came back once she saw his face. “And you can’t see Nathalie as well.”

”Why not? She’s my daughter.” The audacity of this man, Adeline frowns and scoffs.

”I’m surprised you’ve remembered, but she’s not your daughter and she’s not here.” Adeline told him. “Good day to you, but please don’t come back.”

Adeline closed the door in his face and even locked it for good measure, she had to take a few deep breaths to calm her heart, seeing him unsettled her. Why is he back? Why is he asking about Nathalie? What game is he playing?

Adeline plops down on her sofa, and opens her phone and presses for her contacts before she stops, who does she call? Her husband, who is on a business trip and will take his plane home? Her daughter, who is busy with the last couple races of the season? Both are working and will get affected by this, it takes her a surprisingly long time to decide who to call. She calls neither of them, instead she calls Laurent first.

”Bonjour, maman.” Laurent answers as he always does, he’s always the fastest person to pick up her calls.

”Laurent.” Was all it took for her son to know that there’s something going on, his mother doesn’t call him by his name a lot, it’s always a nickname or amour, never Laurent.

”What’s wrong? Did something happen? Are you hurt?” She hears movement in the background as Laurent panics.

“No, no I’m fine.” She reassures him before she sighs. “Is your dad around?”

”He’s in a meeting, if you want I can go get him though.” 

“No, I wanted to talk to you first.”

”What’s going on, maman? You’re scaring me.” Laurent sounded beyond worried.

”Mathew came asking for Nathalie.” The line went silent after Adeline managed to get those words out, both needed a moment to come to terms with what Adeline said, even to herself it sounded out of this world.

”Mathew? as in…” Laurent had no idea what to call him, he’s not Nathalie’s dad, but he’s not just Cecilia’s ex as well.

”Oui.” Adeline felt a headache coming, her day is ruined and her family’s day is about to be as well. 

“Did you tell Cece?” Laurent asked, he wanted to assess the situation first before he said or did anything.

”No, I called you first and I was thinking of telling Max, he’s going to be the calmer one out of the two.” Adeline said walking her son through her thought process. “I thought it’s the best thing to do, and you can tell your father, he’ll be very angry about it especially since I’m here alone, I don’t even know how they allowed him to come up without calling me first.”

”Yeah, he’s going to have a word with the security, rightfully so.” Laurent isn’t amused with the security, their family has lived in that house since before he can remember, and his father takes their safety and security very seriously. “I think calling Max is the best thing, but wait until after the race today, I’ll tell papa.”

”Okay, but do tell him I’m alright, and that nothing happened.”

”I will, but I’m sure he’ll call you straight after anyways.” 

“That’s true, bye mon amour.”

”Bye, maman.”

Adeline waits until the race is over and she's sure that they finished debrief and all their duties before she calls Max. Max doesn’t pick up the first time, making Adeline nervous, her leg bouncing up and down. The second time he declines but he calls her back not even 5 minutes later.

”Hello.” Max’s voice greets her.

”Hello, Max, is this a good time for us to talk?” Adeline asked, aware that just because he picked up doesn’t mean he’s not busy.

”Yeah, yeah, it’s fine, but Cecilia isn’t with me.” Max was in the car being driven back to the hotel, Nathalie and Cecilia already left, since she finished earlier than he did.

”No, I wanted to talk to you.” Adeline’s voice was a dead giveaway that something happened, she didn’t sound like her usual self at all.

”Did something happen?” Max asked frowning, Adeline took a moment to answer him, saying it the second time hasn’t made it easier for her.

”I’m sorry to be telling you this now, especially after you won today-“

”Look, whatever you need to tell me, you can say it, it’s not my first win.” Max wasn’t cocky, but this had to be big for her to call him twice and want to talk to him and not Cecilia, his mind filled with ideas about what could possibly be wrong.

“I didn’t know if to call you and tell you or call Cecilia, but I think you’ll be calmer than her and then you can judge how she is before you tell him, but Mathew came today and he wanted to see Nathalie.” Once more the line went silent but only for a moment.

”Mathew? Who's Math-“ Max stopped himself once he realised who Adeline was talking about. “Cecilia’s ex? That Mathew?”

“I’m afraid so.” Adeline sighed and closed her eyes.

“And he asked to see Nathalie?” Max asked, sounding deathly calm.

“Yes.”

”Did he ask about Cecilia?”

”No.”

”Did he say why?”

”No, just that she’s his daughter and he wants to see her.” Max scoffed at the words.

”Like hell he is.” Max muttered, his jaw clenching. “Are you okay? I know you were alone today.”

”I’m fine, don't worry, Börje will come by today or tomorrow morning, I think.” Adeline assured him. 

“That’s good, I’ll tell Cecilia, don’t worry about that.” Max was battling so many emotions inside himself right now, but he had to be calm and he had to tell his girlfriend first before they could do anything. It won’t be pretty and it won’t be nice but he has to be the one to tell her. He says his goodbyes to Adeline and spends the rest of the ride debating and thinking about how he’ll tell Cecilia. He tried to keep his thoughts from wandering and going to dark spots as much as he can, It won’t do him or anyone else any good. 

By the time he reached the hotel, he had everything planned out, what to say and what their next steps should be. However the moment he walked in it all went out the window.

“Daddy!” The arms of his beautiful 7 year old wrapped around his middle, head buried in his stomach. “What took you so long?”

Max as always pulled her up, it doesn't matter to him that she's gotten too old and heavy to be carried. He works out, he's strong and as long as he's capable he'll carry her. “Sorry liefje, the debrief took longer than we expected.”

“Its alright daddy, mommie already showered and everything.” Nathalie said and started telling him everything that's been done since she last saw him. Her every move. Cecilia’s every move.

“You little snitch, are you going to tell him how many times I've been to the bathroom.” Cecilia teased her daughter, kissing her head and Max's lips as she passed them.

“Three times.” Nathalie said proudly, making Cecilia laugh, Max managed to only give her a smile.

“We have to talk about privacy and secrets and what to tell and what not to tell.” Cecilia said from the living room part of the hotel suite, Max made it to the bedroom. He already showered at the track, he placed Nathalie on the bed and went to his suitcase to get his clothes before he went to the bathroom to change.

“But we don't keep secrets from daddy!” Nathalie exclaimed, flabbergasted that her mum would think to not tell her dad something.

“I guess not.” Cecilia said and came back with a water bottle, she kissed her daughter’s cheek, and plopped down beside her on the bed. “When do you have the call with your friend again?” Nathalie scrambled off the bed almost tripping as she rushed to the living room where her iPad is. Her friend and her scheduled a zoom call, something that she started to do when she's with her parents for a week or two. Max came out of the bathroom in a pair of shorts and shirt. He said nothing to Cecilia but sat on the bed with his back to her. Cecilia sat up and crawled towards him, she gave him a back hug, her front pressed to his back, her arms wrapping around him.

“You're quiet.” Cecilia says and presses small kisses to his neck and the parts of his jaw she could reach, Max closed his eyes enjoying the feeling of her lips feathering up and down on his skin, making him shiver. “What's wrong?”

“Cecilia.” She instantly stops and pushes herself away from her boyfriend. Max turned to look at her, she looked like he electrocuted her.

“Are you angry at me or something?” She asks him, in his eyes she looked small and confused. 

“What? No, why would you think that?” Max was now confused, why did she think he's angry with her.

“You called me Cecilia, we're alone and you never call me Cecilia.” Realisation dawned on Max, and despite what he's about to tell her, he smiles.

“No, schatje, I'm not mad, not at you at least.” Max explained and took her hand in his, he gave her a squeeze. 

“Amor, What happened.?”

“Mathew went to your parents house today.” Max decided to drop the bomb on her, Cecilia recoiled from him and was off the bed in a second.

“What? Why?” All colour drained out of her.

“Cilia, calm down.” Max followed her off the bed and around it, Cecilia was already shaking. He glanced out the door and saw Nattie occupied with her friend talking animatedly. “Just listen to me.” Cecilia gave a hesitant nod and took a deep shaky breath. “Your mum called me, he went to your family house and asked for Thalia.”

“That fucker, why the hell is he asking about her?” Cecilia’s anger is very evident, she's always been known for being calm, collected and patient. The Ice Queen of Motorsport, and a soft hearted woman behind the scenes. 

“I don't know, but we're finishing the season next week, your dad is back with your mum and he signed away his rights. He has no grounds to stand on, if he wants to do anything.” Max said and Cecilia shook her head no, she’s not satisfied, this affects her and Nathalie and even Max. It’ll cause so much trouble if he shows his face again.

”No, no Max, it’s not okay, he agreed to not show up again, he agreed to never see her and to not be a part of her life, what if he wants to be a part of her life? What if he wants to take her from me? I can’t-I can’t-“

”Cilia, Schatje, please calm down.” Max cups her face and her eyes settle on his and fill with tears. “Don’t jump to conclusions, we have no idea why he wants to see her, and he has no right to see her, so he won’t, we’re not letting him, okay?”

”Okay, yeah, you’re right.” Max pulls Cecilia in for a hug and kisses her head, as she always does when she needs comfort Cecilia tries to hide herself in Max. 

“We’re a team, you’re not going through this alone and Nathalie is mine.” Max whispers and holds her tighter. “I’d be dead before he takes her from me.”

”Thank you amour.”

”No need to thank me, we’re in this together.”

Max goes on to win the last race of the season with Cecilia coming P3, Max won the world championship a few races back, a race that saw him as 3rd time World Champion.

The couple hadn’t been in Monaco since they heard about Mathew and he hadn’t turned up to the Hannsson household. Börje had a word with the security team at the apartment building and there has been a change in the staff. 

The family calmed down when it was two weeks after the final race and there was no trace of the British man. It seemed like he’s not in Monaco and that maybe he just winded them up for the fun of it and that he doesn’t actually want to see Nathalie.

It was a random Tuesday when Max, Charles and Lando(who was here for the week before he’ll start his winter activities) met up for some reason or the other, the trio’s relationship is ever closer because of their connections to the female driver. Something that the fans love, especially the Lestappen shippers.

���Max Verstappen!” A male voice called for the RedBull driver while they were walking around looking for the shop Cecilia told them about, before they were going to head back for a late lunch at the Hansson-Verstappen household. The trio instinctively turned around to look at the man, expecting a fan but he didn’t look like it.

”Yes.” Max answers confused, it took Charles a moment to realise who he is but the moment he did you could see it on his face.

“Mathew?” Charles was the one to say, and Max looked at him frowning before he looked back at the man who he now knows is Mathew, his eyes take in the British man, the man that caused so much trouble in Cecilia’s life, the man that donated his sperm to bring his daughter in this world, the man he wants to punch so bad for coming and asking about Nathalie.

”I’ve been hoping to run into you.” Mathew said and walked closer so he was standing in front of Max, his face in a smug grin, hands in his pockets looking like he has no care in the world. 

“And here I was hoping you’d died in a ditch or something.” Max replied smoothly, Lando choked on his breath, he has no idea who Mathew is and why Charles and Max have this reaction to him, Mathew chuckles looking amused.

“Nice one.” Mathew runs his eyes over to the other two drivers, before they settle on Charles. “It’s been a while, Charles.”

”Not long enough.” Charles muttered, Charles is a nice person by nature, he’s never not nice but here he is Lando seeing him angry at a person for no reason that he knows of.

”Looks like getting into Formula 1 changed you.” Mathew gave them a condescending look and rolled his eyes.

“What do you want? Get on with it.” Charles said wanting this interaction to be over already, he doesn't know about Mathew turning up to the Hansson household and asking for his goddaughter.

”Same thing I asked for when I met Adeline, I want my daughter.” Mathew shrugged as if that’s the easiest most simplest thing ever, and he’s not asking for a daughter he left and knows nothing about.

”First, she’s not your daughter, second, it’s Mrs. Hansson to you, third, you better piss off and get out of our faces and our lives.” Max said and took a step closer, his tone was not to be taken lightly, Mad Max may be something of the past but when he’s pushed he’s right there. Lando then realised what’s going on, he realised who Mathew is. Charles also realises that Mathew went and asked for Nathalie, another reason for him to not be nice or kind to Mathew.

“Huh, no can do I’m afraid.” Mathew’s grin was gone, and the dark side of him came to the surface. “Look, just because you’re fucking her mother, doesnt make you her father, she’s mine, her DNA is half off mine.”

”And just because you donated your sperm doesnt make her yours.” They’re face to face now, both waiting for something small to put their hands on the other. “Where have you been the last 7 years? Before that when Cecilia was pregnant, where were you? I bet you were drunk off your ass sleeping with women, getting them pregnant before leaving them for someone else, how many children do you have running out there without a father? huh? A lot I bet, listen here Mathew, Nathalie is mine, and you better not ask for her or even think about her, because you’re never seeing her.”

“We’ll see when Cecilia sees me what she says about it, I bet she’ll just spread her-“ Max didn’t let him finish before he was swinging his fest and punching Mathew with all he got, in a second he was holding his shirt and swinging for another punch, Mathew took a moment to swing his fest. The other two drivers didn't have enough time to separate the two before they both landed a few punches in.

By the time they were pulled off each, Max's fist was bloody, his face bruised with a split lip. Both men were heaving, Charles pushed Mathew away making stumble and fall, but he didn't care, he helped Lando push and move Max away from the annoying Brit. 

“Come on, mate.” Lando stresses, Max is not cooperating with the two drivers, they have to use their full strength to pull him away from the sight of Mathew. Max is boiling with anger, Lando who came in with Max drives the dutchman's car while Charles follows in his Ferrari. 

When they reach the apartment Max opens the door and storms inside, he ignores Cecilia’s calls and everyone else and heads to the bedroom. Lando comes in followed by Charles, Cecilia’s standing there looking at them confused, Alex also looks confused but she stayed with Nattie on the living room floor playing with her barbies and their sports cars.

“What happened?” Cecilia asked her friends worried.

“Uh, we saw Mathew.” Charles says softly and her heart drops, she crosses her arms and shuffles her legs.

“They got in a fight.” Lando adds after a beat of silence.

“Fuck.” Cecilia mutters and pushes her hair back, stressing.

“Look, Cece, we can take Nattie for the day and you and Max can talk about it.” Charles offers and she turns to look at Nathalie before looking back at her friends, Lando gives her a nod and she sighs.

“If it's not too much trouble.” Cecilia place a hand on Charles arm in gratitude.

“Hey, she's my goddaughter.” Charles offers her a smile and pulls her in for a quick hug before he heads to the living room with an enthusiastic. “Who wants to have a sleepover at Charlie's house?”

“Mathew really said some stuff to piss Max off.” Lando told her and she wants to strangle Mathew, he came into their lives and is messing it up. “Max was angrier than I've ever seen him before… And that's saying a lot.”

“Thank you Lando.” Cecilia say and also gives him a hug. Charles is already helping Nattie pack an overnight bag. Cecilia says goodbye to your friends and daughter, Alex gives her a long hug before they head out.

Opening the door to their shared bedroom, the only source of light is from the windows, Max is sitting on the bed with his head in his hands, his knuckles in his right hand are bruised and busted.

“Max.” Cecilia says and goes to sit by his side, her hand lands on his back, moving up and down. “Amour, please look at me.”

Max turned his head to look at her still leaning forwards, Cecilia grimaced when she saw his face, it’s already bruised. Cecilia went to the kitchen and got some ice before she rushed back, Max was sitting in the exact position he was when she left him, placing the ice on his cheek, the only reaction he gave her was closing his eyes.

”Mon amour, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Cecilia whispers her eyes filled with tears, her ex taunted Max, he hit him, Mathew is causing Max anguish and she feels guilty for it all.

”No, no, it’s not your fault, you don’t say sorry okay?” Max was out of his mind, he’s still so pissed off and the last thing he wants is for Cecilia to feel guilty in any way shape or form. “This is his fault, and his fault only. That asshole knew what he was doing.”

Tears gather in her eyes and she bites her bottom lip, her eyes focusing on the ice she's holding to Max’s face. Max takes a deep breath and sighs, they sit in silence for a few long minutes, there's so much emotion, the tension is high.

“Did Nattie go with them?” Max asked breaking the silence, Cecilia nods her head and Max removes the ice towel From his face gently taking her hands in his. “Come on.” He says so very softly, Max is always soft with her and Nattie but this is a different kind of soft. This is a scared man that's trying to be strong, this is a man that has so much on his shoulders and doesn't want to show it, that is a man has so much to lose. Max is vulnerable and he's trying not to show it, it is rare for him to be so vulnerable. Max leads Cecilia to the bathroom, once they're in their ensuite he turns the tab on in the huge tub they have facing the window. They're silent, Cecilia watches Max with intensity, her heart is beating fast in her chest, and Max still won't meet her eyes. So when he comes to stand in front of her Cecilia raises his chin with the tip of her fingers, and his eyes move up her figure until they meet her eyes. Their eyes meet and every thought, everything that Cecilia wanted to say is gone, she can't remember what she wanted to say. Max's blue eyes trap her, people always say that eyes are windows to the soul and she couldn't help but agree at this moment.

Max moves his hands down to the hem of her shirt and lefts it up, Cecilia says nothing just follows his lead and lefts her hands up to help him slip it off. He drops it to the floor, his eyes not leaving hers, his hands move to her jeans and unbutton them, he push them over her hips and they fall to the floor, Cecilia steps out of them, and stands there in her undwear and still Max doesn't look away from her face. Before he moves to her bra or panties he starts on his own clothes, he takes off his shirt in one fluid move and moves to his pants, Cecilia isn't as strong as Max her eyes drop to his chest for a moment before they go back to his face.

Max smiles a little and a blush covers Cecilia's face, Max's hands cup her face his thump rubbing her cheek softly. Max's hands run over her neck, shoulders and back until they reach the clasps of her bra which he undoes expertly, her bra falls on the floor between them, and Max's hands continue on their mission and move to her hips where they hock onto the tops of her panties and move down taking them with him. Cecilia once again steps out of them and Max takes off his boxers.

Max takes her hand softly and walks them to the bath he steps in and sits down, still holding her hand he helps her in. Cecilia settles in front of him and Max pulls her back, he leans back against the tub with Cecilia pressed into him. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath relaxing. 

Max is looking out the big window at the view the sun is sitting and the sea is right in front of them and he's reminded why he chose this house and why he pays a lot of money for it. For moments like this, where he's with the person he loves the most and they spend their times together.

They sit in the hot water in silence for a long time, but it doesn't feel awkward and it's not as intense as it was before, both have a lot on their minds, so many things could happen and they have to think about all the possibilities and what they'll do in each case. The silence is something that they needed, they just needed to be together in each other's presence, the comfort of having someone just sit there and hold you, and you don't have to say anything for them to understand what you're feeling.

A sudden thought popped in Cecilia's mind, and before she second guessed herself or give it much thought the words spilled from her mouth. "Do you believe in soulmates?"

"Soulmates? That's random." Max hummed his hands moving to her waist under the water, his thump rubbing softly at the skin. "No, I don't think they're real."

Maybe it was because he's a child of divorce, or maybe it's because he didn't realise right away that Cecilia is the one for him, but either way, he doesn't believe in them.

"I don't think they're real, at least not fully... but I feel like if there's ever soulmates, that you're mine."

Max moved his head to her shoulder and pulled her closer if that was even possible. Max presses his lips to her sweet spot, Cecilia closes her eyes once more, leaning her head back and to the side. Her hands move to his hair and she pulls slightly, Max whines, his lips find their way to her neck, kissing and sucking leaving his mark on her body, he’s everywhere, his hands are moving all over her, her breath catches in her throat, before she breathes his name like a mantra. “Max.”

After their time in the bathtub and the water has long since gone cold they get out, dry themselves and get dressed. Cecilia goes to the kitchen where she and Alex had ingredients out to make lunch, Cecilia puts everything back where it belongs, deciding to order something for her and Max.

”Schatje!” Max calls coming out of the bedroom.

”In the kitchen.” She calls back and Max comes in phone in hand.

"My team just called me, a video of what happened today was posted online.” Cecilia moved to his side and looks at his phone, a shaky video is playing but there’s no mistaken that it’s the three F1 drivers and her ex, she sees Max throwing the first punch and the fight that happens after that, Mathew’s face is clear and it’ll take no time before it’s public knowledge who he is and how they once dated.

”Our PR teams will not like what’s about to happen.” Cecilia mutters.

”They’ll have to deal with it.” Max knows they’re in trouble but there’s not much they can do. What’s done is done and there’s nothing you can do about it. 

“Love the I don’t give a fuck mindset.” Cecilia says and squeezes his cheeks with one hand. “What are we having for dinner?”

”Can we have tomato soup and whatever you want?” 

“Sure thing.” Cecilia said kissed his cheek and picked her phone to order, they were planning to have a chill night just the two of them and the leaked video isn’t about to change that.

The next two days, things were crazy online, but their day to day life was quite everything was going smoothly, until it wasn’t.

Fans(also known as detectives) find out who Mathew was, they also find pictures of a young Cecilia with Mathew and have deducted that they were dating once upon a time, and it wasn’t long before rumours of him being Nathalie’s dad were all over social media, conspiracy theories, comparison pictures and everything in between. It all came to a head when Mathew released a statement, Cecilia’s world turned upside down.

“Ceceilia and I used to date when she was still in F3 and before that, we were the young couple with the world ahead of us, and for a small mistake I've made she's refused me my daughter and named another man her father, I wasn't given the chance to know my girl to see her grow up or to hear her call me daddy, in fact now I'm subjected to hearing her call another man daddy. I personally find it unfair and unjust.”

“What the actual fuck is wrong with him.” Laurent was pissed off, he didn't care about the look his mother gave him for cursing, the family was gathered for a get together during the winter break and Mathew just decided to ruin it like he's been doing lately. “I want to punch him so bad.”

“You're not the only one.” Max muttered, the kids were playing in the game room Cecilia's mum had made for her grandkids, so the adults were speaking freely.

“Börje what about his father, you said you could talk to him.” Adeline asked her husband, worried sick for her daughter and granddaughter.

“I've left a massage with his secretary, but they haven't heard from them.” Börje was not happy, he wasn't happy at all. He usually left his daughter to do as she pleases deal with everything the way she liked but this is a step too far.

“And his family, are you sure they'll help?” Max asked, he's the only one who never met them, and he only knows the little that came up while talking with Ceceilia.

“If they care about their company.” The threat was clear in Börje's voice.

“I'm afraid he won't though.” Cecilia mutters and they all turn to look at her. “I mean, I think I know how Mathew is, and I have a feeling that he's not on good terms with his family, he's not the kind of person to make news like that knowing it'll get back to his family and they wouldn't be pleased with him.”

Cecilia looks at Max by her side, he doesn't know anything about her relationship with Mathew or how their dynamic worked , he didn’t know how close she and Mathew were, she planned her life with him and then she got pregnant and all those dreams flew out the window. Max takes her hand and squeezes it.

”We’ll figure it out.” Börje said and took out his phone to try and contact his family again the Walkers were very famous and very big in the UK but they need the Hanssons to function, for their businesses to not fail.

It was only over an hour later that Börje got a call back. Cecilia and Max were on the blconey talking, Laurent and his wife were checking on the kids so he was with Adeline. A lengthy phone call between Börje and Mathew’s dad, Börje was told the inner workings of the family recently, the problems Mathew has been causing. David, Mathew’s dad, had no idea about Nattie, he had no idea he had a granddaughter out there and he did say that if he knew that he would’ve made Mathew stay and take accountability. Börje told him that this is why he didn’t inform him, his daughter and granddaughter didn’t need a father that’s forced to be there.

”Go get Cecilia and Max.” Adeline went and got the couple.

”What did they say papa?” Cecilia asked taking a seat across from her father, her hands rubbing her thighs trying to self comfort herself.

”You were right, Mathew is in trouble with his dad, he made a big mess at a board meeting and has been on the sidelines for a few months, and as a way to get back at his dad he’s been causing a lot of trouble.” Börje told them. “They’ll try to talk to him but there’s no guarantee it’ll work.”

”So we’re on our own then.” Cecilia stated she leaned back and sighed.

”Don’t lose hope yet, mon ange.” Adeline said and took Cecilia’s other side she pulled her in for a hug, kissing her forehead.

”Either way he can’t take her from us.” Max said, putting his hand on Cecilia’s knee.

”Max is right, the lawyers said there’s no way, unless you’re the worst mother there is, there’s no way for a court to give Mathew any rights.” Börje said.

Nathalie went to a friend’s house for a play date, and when Cecilia and Max went to pick her up to go out for dinner she looked upset.

”Thalia, what’s wrong liefje?” Max asked looking at Nathalie in the rare review mirror.

”Can we go home?” The frown on her face didn’t move, her lips pouting. 

“You don’t want to eat out?” Cecilia asked concerned, Nattie shakes her head no. “Of course, mon amour, we’ll go home.”

Max and Cecilia share worried looks but say nothing. The ride home is much tenser than it was on the way to drop her off earlier in the day.

Nattie ignores her parents from the car to the apartment, and was planning to just head to her room, but her mum wasn’t about to let her.

”Nattie, please come, we have to talk.” Cecilia calls for her daughter before she could escape. Nattie looks at her mum before her eyes go to Max. “Do you want to talk just you and me? Or you can talk to daddy-“

Before Cecilia could finish, Nathalie was already in tears. Sobs leaving her body shaking, she was practically wailing. It surprised both her parents and they both sprung into action, heading to their girl. Cecilia had her in her arms first, and Nattie clutched her shirt tightly in her hands, hiding her face in Cecilia’s shirt.

”What’s wrong, liefje?” Max whispers trying to see Nattie’s face but she just hid more into Cecilia. “Do you want me to go?”

”NO!” She shouts and turns from Cecilia to look at him stomping her leg, this took both the drivers by surprise, Nathalie is rarely difficult, she’s never thrown a tantrum without any reason, whether they agreed with the reason or not is a different subject.

”Nathalie!” Cecilia scolded her daughter but it only brought more tears. “What’s wrong mon amour? Please just tell us, so we can help you.”

”I-I- I don’t want to have another daddy.” Nathalie said looking up at you, her hands were back to clutching Cecilia’s shirt, she was begging her now.

”What?” Cecilia whispered. “Okay, let’s sit down and talk, okay?” They moved to the sofa, Max squeezed Cecilia’s hand in comfort before they sat down with Nathalie in between them.

”What are you talking about, mon ange? Max is your daddy.” Cecilia pushed Nathalie’s hair out of her face, looking at her red face wet from all the tears.

”Laura said that I’m going to have another daddy, but I don’t want him, I only want Maxie, he’s my daddy, Laura said that you’re going to make another man my daddy, and I don’t want it, I just want daddy, I just want him.” Max couldn’t help but pull Nathalie softly away from Cecilia and into his arms, the girl instantly hugged him, her hands wrapping around his neck and clutching his shirt, and the tears continued to flow.

”You’re my baby girl, and that’s never going to change, yeah?” Max said softly patting her back, Cecilia was fighting tears herself, she felt so bad for not talking to Nathalie about it but she just never thought she’d find out through her friend, they’ve all been so good at keeping her away from all the drama. “You’re my liefje, you’re my daughter, the one I love the most and there’s no changing that, as long as you want me, I’ll always be your dad.”

”Please don’t leave me.” Nathalie whispered her sobs have calmed, but she was still tearing up.

”I won’t, I promise.” 

Nathalie hadn’t let go of Max until she fell asleep, Cecilia debated walking her up for dinner but seeing how exhausted Nathalie looked she just let her sleep. Max placed her in her bed, while Cecilia waited for him in their bedroom. They seem to mean there a lot lately to just talk about everything Mathew related.

Max sits next to Cecilia, their shoulders brushing.

”She looked so heartbroken.” Cecilia whispered, there’s a lump in her throat and it seemed to be choking her slowly.

”Yeah… we need to solve this as fast as possible.” Max sighed and closed his eyes to think, there has to be a way to get rid of Mathew for good. He’s doing all this for attention from the public, to get back at his parents, and to just ruin their lives. Mathew must’ve known that there’s no way he’d get Nathalie, he’s the one that signed the papers. He’s the one that disappeared, he’s the one that’s been seen hanging around women in Monaco since he’s been back in the country. “Do you have a copy of the papers?”

”What papers?” 

“The ones he signed his rights away.”

”Yeah, papa, has the original ones, but I have a copy, why?”

”I’m going to need them.”

It took a week before Mathew released another statement.

”My family has come in contact with me after they shunned me months ago, and I was happy, maybe they wanted to come in contact with me again, but they just wanted to keep their pockets filled with Hansson money and asked me leave my girl, to not care about her and to move on.

Well, to that I say fuck you, fuck you all, I’m taking this to court, I’m going to have my daughter back, I want part of the custody, I want her to know who her father is, I have the rights, and I’m not backing down.”

Not even 15 minutes later team Max Verstappen released a statement.

”It’s sad for Max and Cecilia, to have intimate parts of their private life so out to the public, not for them but for Nathalie. They want to inform everyone that Mathew has no rights to Nathalie, as he signed his rights away in the early stages of Cecilia’s pregnancy and has never tried to come in contact with her since. He’s not on the birth certificate or any other document. Thus, he will not be able to take Cecilia to court. We’ve included a picture of the documents he signed to give his parental rights away, furthermore we’ve done our own research and discovered that Mathew has many children out there in the world that he’s never seen or come in contact with. That’s all the couple is willing to say, thank you for understanding and please give the family time to deal with what has happened. See you on track!”

“This is why you wanted the papers?” Cecilia asked coming into the sim room, with her phone in her hands, she’s amused, she’s happy and she’s relieved.

”He had it coming.” Max said not looking away from his sim.

”How did you find out about other women?” Cecilia asked confused, Max shrugged.

”Hired a private investigator.”

”Wow, remind me not to get on your bad side.” Cecilia joked and giggled.

”Couldn’t do that even if you tried.” Max said simply and the smile on her face grew.

”Really?” She raised an eyebrow and Max hummed. “Even if I do this?”

Cecilia dropped on his lap ending his perfect lap, Max’s hands instinctively left the wheel to land on her hips to steady her.

”Even if you do this.”

”What about if I do this?” She asked and leaned close so her face was millimetre away from his.

”Even then.”

”What about this?” She presses her lips to his, Max pulls her closer. She’s driving him crazy, his hand is at the back of her head holding her head just how he likes it, making her moan into the kiss.

”Especially this.” Max manages to get out between kisses, his voice already sounding out of breath.

Later that day with the couple getting ready to head to bed, Max comes up behind Cecilia who sat at her vanity doing her skincare routine. His arms find their place on her shoulders before they move down her arms to her elbows and then to her waist, he pulls her up just enough for him to slip under her and she’s sitting on his lap. All the while she’s just continuing with what she was doing, Max places his head on her shoulder and looks at her through the mirror.

”You’re so touchy today.” Cecilia teased Max lightheartedly.

”Says the one that came in and kissed me and then lured me into sex.” Max smirks enjoying the blush that covered her cheeks, he loves how he still gets her to blush like that.

”Well, I don’t remember you not liking it.” Cecilia manages to say.

”No I certainly liked it.” Max mumbles and kisses her shoulder, before he’s back at looking at her.

”What’s up?”

”Nothing, I’m just happy, we’re together.” Max said softly and Cecilia smiles at him through the mirror.

”Me too, more than anything.” Cecilia replied just as softly. “Did I mention how much I find it sexy when you fight for me and Nattie?”

“You can’t love someone and not fight for them, being with you and loving you, makes me want to fight everyone and everything that bothers you.” Max’s tone is serious, an opposite to Cecilia’s teasing one. 

“And I’d do the same… but somehow everyone is already scared of you.” Cecilia giggles at the unamused look Max gives her, at the sound of her giggles, her hugs her closer and smiles.

”Come on, I’m done.”

Mathew drops off the face of the earth after the statement from Max, a few women came online and posted videos of their own experience with Mathew, all having his children. The one good thing that came out of him going public, is that his family is now sending money to those women who have Mathew’s children and are struggling financially. They of course disowned him and released a statement saying they had no knowledge of his doings and they’re no longer associated with him.

But the biggest fuck you came on Cecilia’s instagram…

ceciliahansson15 

Tagged, maxverstappen1

liked by lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, sebastianvettel, and 4,345,356 others

ceciliahansson15 Guess I’m the only non-Verstappen in the house from now on 🤷‍♀️

view all 902,234 comments

username1 the plot twist

username2 I can’t ☠️

username3 say what again????

username4 honestly you go max claming your daughter as you should 👏

username78 as he should 🙇‍♀️

username98 max winning on and off the track

username09 next step, we’ll have 2 verstappens on track 👀 

username26 pop the question and dont be a pussy max 💍

username37 i think he’s droves he’s not a pussy, bro claimed her daughter and gave her his last name before he even proposed 

lewishamilton gongrats sending you all love 💐

ceciliahansson15 thank you lew 🫶

charles_leclerc you know i’m still her favourite right?

maxverstappen1 don’t know about that mate

charles-leclerc want me to call 😏 

maxverstappen1 NO!

charles_leclerc I rest my case

ceciliahansson15 🙄

Usename48 I love how they like to use Insta to just say f you to everyone

Username229 seriously instagram should give them money over all the interactions it's getting them

Taglist:

@luciaexcorvus . @vellicora . @tpwkstiles . @belennasif . @eugene-emt-roe . @fanboyluvr . @fangirl125reader . @christianpulisic10 . @belennasif . @itsjustkhaos . @crashingwavesofeuphoria . @mynameisangeloflife . @mirrorball-6 . @skynel09 . @barcelonaloverf1life . @lilipiggytails . @rebelatbay . @christianpulisic10 . @ironmaiden1313 . @dark-night-sky-99 . @amalialeclerc . @bborra . @allsouls-emma . @buckybarns4life . @distancedss . @xoscar03 . @aquangxl . @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy . @theseerbetweenus .

[cloveroctobers]

HOLD UP — Roman Reigns x black! Reader

A/N: not me attempting to write for this man and I’m supposed to be on a writing break?? I had a storyline in my head, heard this song from my girl (finally), and I’m about to go on a SWAT binge-watch once this season is over so that’s my excuse for all of this. Hope you have your popcorn ready!

WARNINGS: language, famous reader, slight cross-over with another show hence the tags, hint of toxicity, infidelity, crime, + me not knowing much about wrestling or S.W.A.T. but winging it! It’s only fiction!!! 😉

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊

“You know what? Fuck her and fuck you too!” You yelled, smacking the food that was already prepared right towards where Roman stood.

It didn’t have to be like this.

What could have been a great normal Saturday evening, turned for the worse all because a man, who was supposed to be your man turned around and played you. How? By sleeping with the “friend,” (turned assistant) he told you not to worry about. You were just getting into a pretty solid choreo to Beyonce’s, “Tyrant,” over a steaming pot with the headphones blasting into your ears when your phone started going off more than your version of usual.

It was to the point you were ready to put it on Do Not Disturb but your gut told you to get into it. Sure it could have been anybody: your family, your manager, publicist, or even some friends…in this case? It happened to be the whole damn universe.

The headlines is what really got you:

“Entrepreneur Tribal Chief Roman Reigns Sex-Tape Leaked!”

Along with the shady subtitles underneath: The multi-business owner’s intimate moments at what seems to be one of his places of business the casino half hotel: “The Medallion,” have been leaked! By the looks of it, it doesn’t appear that the woman in the video shares any resemblance to girlfriend and actress…but does look a whole lot like his personal assistant Celosia “Losi,” Darlington. Perhaps they aren’t as secure in their relationship as actress…claims! See below for the steamy video.

At first you didn’t want to believe it, firmly wanting for your girl delulu to kick in but unfortunately you knew this time you could believe the headlines. The declined calls you had to keep hitting as you took a breath to just play the video. You had to see with your own eyes what had been done, it’s always about actions more than word of mouth and Roman showed you exactly who he was.

A no good piece of shit.

You met him back in ‘13 after taking on an action role, which would be filmed at the newly built casino: The Medallion. That same place of business that always got him into some shit—yet he always knew how to polish everything up so nicely regardless of any heat that went his way. Of course there was some attraction that formed over the six months of filming although he didn’t have a major role on screen versus behind it, his presence was surely felt. It took two years after that at the premiere of another film of yours for any relationship besides professional to form and sometimes you wished you would have stayed away.

This was one of those times.

To be in a relationship since mid 2015–minus the minor breakups just for it all to truly crumble now was the biggest punch in the face. And you may not be one of his Bloodline fighters but you were sure about to hand him one.

When he enters the house, not long after you’ve been going into a deep dive of everything from watching the video to various gossip websites and landing on Twitter of all places, you place the phone down face up as you rest your hands on the island counter. He pecks your cheek multiple times as he holds your hip, not picking up on the tension just yet before he takes a place on the other side of the island. Your jaw was set as you used the sleeve to wipe his kisses from your skin, eyes burning flames at the clueless man across from you.

“Smells good as hell in here. How was your day?” Is the first thing he says, finally looking up from his phone.

And you can’t help but to scoff at this, “it was going well baby, until I found out that you and your dick went swimming at The Medallion.”

Which lead to a heated stare from Roman, “…What’re you talking about?”

“Stop being stupid, Joe! Unless you can’t help it. Everybody knows including me! Y’all played in my face for who knows how long and you thought coming in here all regular was gonna be cool?” The pointer and thumb finger were jabbed right in his direction as you spoke before you were gripping the island so tight, it should have snapped but only quality was allowed in this house.

Roman kept his face straight as he clips, “I think you should start with watching your tone and talk to me with some sense.”

“Why? When you don’t have any?” Your head was tilted to the side, just begging for him not to continue to get smart with you because things will start to fly in a minute if he kept it up.

His big ass included.

Roman clenched his eyes shut in frustration before replying, “i honestly don’t know what you’re talking about, so please feel free to enlighten me.”

Humorless laughter bubbled past your lips as you decided to play this game just for a bit, “honestly, when’s the last time you saw Losi?”

His shoulders lifts, “a day or two ago. She’s taking personal time off, why?”

“Sure she is! Right on time for everything to unfold like the messy bitch that I told you she is.” You exclaim with your hands up in the air, “was this y’all plan all along? To humiliate me?”

As the silence filled the kitchen, it was shortly interrupted by the vibrating of your phone which rattled on the counter and finally the pinging from Roman’s own phone. A quick glance Roman sends to the device, it was a simple text from Losi herself which read: “I’m so sorry ro!”

He’s truthfully had a blind eye to what has been happening. Roman’s been back and forth between the casino and the ring along with a few meetings in between that he barely looked at his phone until he walked through his home’s front doors. There’s a furrow of his brows then at Losi’s text but it doesn’t take him long to figure it out when he thinks back to the accusations that you previously just thrown in his face combined with your attitude.

Your head was still tilted as you cooed with petty intent, “Uh oh…doesn’t look like there’s a smile on your face now when reading anything Losi says.”

Roman runs his hands down his face in exhaustion and guilt. When he opens his eyes, yours are still glaring at him. This conversation was going to be bad tonight whether he wanted to have it or not. He made this bed so now he had to lay in it.

“Babe—

“Na uh! Don’t start that shit now because you’ve been caught.” You held your hand up in the air, “Weren’t you the one who told me that you didn’t want to fuck her? Then you went and did it! When?!”

Roman runs his tongue over his bottom lip and bites down on it, “I don’t even—a few weeks ago? It didn’t mean shit though and I want you to know that. I don’t and won’t ever love her the way that I love you. I fucked up and i can admit that.”

If this was love then this man can keep that shit forever. Never did you ever think at this point in your relationship that the downfall would be Roman’s attention turning to another woman for a night.

“You can? Were you ever going to if this didn’t come out? You’ve been sitting on this for weeks and she’s been smiling in my face and more chatty—ohhh.” You knocked your finger into the air in realization, “she’s been plotting on this moment.”

Roman blinks with a shake of his head, “what? No.”

“You let the balloon stuffed booty fool you, baby.” You clapped, “along with the cute shy office siren thing she had going on the outside. I been knew she was feeling you and I couldn’t be mad at that! I knew what I had. As long as she didn’t try anything but it only took a year for you to fold right when everything was falling into place.”

He had another personal assistant who’s been working for him since The medallion began to stay consistent in flourishing, Ms. Charlene, who was older in her mid-fifties and actually good friends with your aunt. She was probably the best one Roman was ever going to get but she decided to retire early? And moved all the way out to Liberia but still did her original role as a tax preparer on the side but you didn’t hear that from me—your narrator.

“What do you mean?”

“Think about it, joe. The gym just had its successful grand opening after its bombing a month ago, you just announced that you were expanding the medallion to be worldwide with plans of doing the same for Bloodline. I’m hosting the Tony awards, you’re planning to propose, and Losi is trying to start her own business by creating some plant spa, which gives her just enough motive to leak the tape so she’s financially taken care of while we’re here looking dumb as fuck.” You deeply exhale while Roman pressed his tongue into his cheek in thought.

He didn’t want to believe that either but one thing about you? Your mind was always going and connecting the dots. He knew that there was something about Losi that you didn’t rock with and he didn’t see. When it came to his businesses he wanted to be the only one running things and sure he never wanted to make you uncomfortable yet he and Losi went way back and her resume was top notch. Overall Roman believed that the two of you could just coexist at some point, although Losi put in more effort to be friendly with you, you weren’t feeling it.

Ultimately you had to agree to disagree on the subject. It wasn’t a big problem until it unfortunately became one of course. He didn’t have the ring and it’s been in the works since last year but he knew what he wanted it to look like based on your preferences and kept the sketch secured and out of sight…so he thought.

He knew he wanted forever with you but he allowed himself to get stupefied by someone he thought was a friend and should have stayed in that place.

“Nah Lo’s not like that, she’s a good girl.”

Roman didn’t know if he believed that himself anymore but it still came out of his mouth.

You felt your eye twitch, “you keep telling yourself that and that’s probably what you praised her with when you were hitting it from behind too right?”

“Relax,” his stare is hard from underneath his eyelashes, as if he’s attempting to command you in doing so, “I didn’t know she was filming us, Alright?”

That much you could tell.

“Yeah okay, so that makes it better?!”

“No it doesn’t! And I’m aware of that. I want to marry you which you somehow know—

“Then why do this to me? To us?! We were doing so well and came so far just for you to ruin it all like this was for nothing.” You tried to focus on your breathing but from Roman’s stance he could see that it was more of a panting from you, to keep from crying.

The last thing you wanted was for him to comfort you but he did find himself reaching his hand out some over the island, just in case. He hated that this was happening, that he was causing you pain and not the fact that this was biting him in the ass, he knew what he had done and had to pay the price, he could take that but he didn’t like the twist in his chest at the sight of your anger, your pain, yet he didn’t really have a reason to justify this. There was no justifying the infidelity or the past gaslighting of your concerns you expressed once Losi came along. You had dreams and took that as a sign just as much of what you witnessed in person. Roman would always reassure that it was just your mind lying to you and being paranoid until he proved everything to be true.

“It’s not for nothing…we’ve been through so much shit together that we can get through this too.” Roman states with determination in his eyes, “I don’t know what exactly you want to hear from me but I’m telling you that choice I made that night meant nothing. It happened once, I was on one that night, should have known better than to let my guard down and I told her we won’t ever do that shit again because I’m in love with you. I need you.”

It was your turn to bite down on your lips and nod your head, “that sounds nice, really but there’s no way you expect me to just leap back into your arms just because you’re looking at me that and all the sweet nothings you hand over will magically make this okay when it most likely won’t be.”

He swallows, “What are you saying?”

“Look around! You can’t have that much trust in her to believe this wasn’t calculated can you? I mean you trusted her enough to not let your hot steamy night get out but look where that got you. A tape! You had that girl in my face, in this house, trying to get us to be besties long before and this is what y’all go and do? The disrespect is so real so…you know what? Fuck her and fuck you too!”

Roman dips in his head in understanding, even if he has to make a jump back from the plates of sides that are sent his way but that doesn’t mean he has to take it. “I get that you’re in your feelings but I’m telling you right now, I’m not gonna take any more of you talking crazy to me tonight. It’s been a long day.”

“Excuse me?!” Your brows are raised, “I’ll call you every name until the sun comes back if it makes me feel better—

“But that’s the thing, it won’t so why waste your breath?” His chin is raised in such arrogance.

It’s your turn to be wide eyed now. Did Roman expect you to just not react like he was good at doing? You studied him then, noticing how stoic he was but his eyes said different before he tightened his stare. He was letting his ego come out to play and that was a dangerous game.

“Hmm let’s see what will? Should I dump this gumbo right in your face? Mess your precious house up? Or get in touch with Jey to see if he has any insight to how quickly the success of Bloodline got back up and running. He’s been quiet since the grand opening and that’s not like our boy.” The smirk on your face was enough to get Roman to charge over to you and get in your face.

Jey was family, always would be no matter how ugly the business got. First it was his twin, Jimmy who Roman kicked out and you knew Jey was feeling not only a way about that but also Roman’s big headed authority. It was only a matter of time before Jey stepped down and you knew it was coming based on conversations you had. Roman also had a feeling that you knew more than what you were saying and withholding information was a huge negative, although you weren’t part of the business you would be if you took that title of being Roman’s wife.

You stared up at Roman sweetly while he pressed his forehead harshly into yours, “you don’t scare me and you don’t want to ever cross me, love of my life or not.”

Running your hands up Roman’s clenched torso and up over his biceps to grip his shoulders tightly you say, “well…this old love of your life, is about to show you just how much you’re gonna lose and I know how much you hate to lose.”

He squeezes your neck pulling you so that you’re nose to nose, “if that’s how you want to play, then you better not miss.”

“Great talk, baby. Now let go.” Her nails dig into his shoulder blades while it’s Roman’s turn to tighten his jaw.

Eventually he lets go, running a palm over his mouth as you get back to breathing although your insides want to ache but you numb it down. You crack your knuckles before reaching forward to wipe the crumbs off the counter into the sink and turn to leave but not without glancing at the contents on the floor.

“Hey, I think I would have loved being your wife but the world is always turning right? Better luck next time I guess.” You shrug your shoulders, “and you might want to clean that up before you get some ants that look like Losi. See you soon, Joe.” You explain with a cold wink that reminds the man to breathe after you leave the home for good.

Roman didn’t know what he was going to do just yet or what you had in mind but for right now, he had to sit on his loneliness over a meal that you prepared which he didn’t get to share with you at the end of the table this time around.

[2 weeks later…]

The saying April showers brings May flowers could apply here, depending on how you looked at it. It was difficult being back in your own space, once sharing it with the Cane Corso, “Atonga,” that Roman gifted to you last year for your birthday and what you sent back days after you left his house. You were ready to send everything back (or donate) but Roman wasnt having that, anything that got sent back to his place or his businesses he redirected most to your parents with the power for it not to be sent anywhere else.

As for Atonga, he was waiting for you on your doorstep one morning with a simple message attached: he’s closer to his mom.

The gift of Atonga was for protection and you built a strong bond with the dog, overall you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss the boy so you didn’t put up much of a fight when it came to him. As for the outside noise? The paparazzi followed your every move even more so now, you didn’t keep your head down but you kept it on mute with every outing. You didn’t need the advice of your publicist on what to do because regardless you had your own media training due to previous work and would ultimately do what you felt.

You didn’t have to offer the world a damn thing.

Your relationship with Roman was one of the most trendiest relationships to talk about and it was killing them not to know much more of what was going on. However Roman gave some crumbs on the recent interview he was on and spoke some with the paps that followed him around but it was enough for people to speculate you have broken up again.

A relationship that had so many sides to it was stuck on being face up at this time.

Over these two weeks you weren’t cooped up in the house crying over this mess, you got to deep cleaning, self-care appointments: nails done, hair done, everything did, spent time in the gym mostly with a personal trainer that Roman never cared for but he mercilessly stopped responding to your meeting requests after the second day, which left you to train with the twins and Naomi instead, and being in the club with the widest of smiles.

After all that you were slowly getting back into work. Thankfully your manager agreed to put a pause on the work load until you were ready, where you got the outline on paper on how award shows were meant to run, then you would make the trip in a few weeks to see how the stage was in person.

“YO,” Jey calls out your name from downstairs, his voice echoing all throughout the house that you forgot he was even still here. Probably eating up all your food while watching ghetto ass Tubi or BMF—they were the same thing honestly.

Getting so wrapped up in the outline, you push yourself off your bed and head out into the hall and call back, “what I tell you about using your outside voice in my house, jey?!”

The barking that sounded as you got to the steps made you frown, actually making you put more speed in your steps as you went down them. When you peered up on the second to the last step, you spotted a familiar face standing at the front entrance of your home while Jey stood off to the side holding Atonga back.

There stood Miguel Alfaro, a ex-boyfriend of yours who sported his dark SWAT attire.

“You got company,” Jey muttered as he eyed the pale buzzed hair guy.

Deeply exhaling you step down and make your way over to the men and fold your arms, “Miguel, what’re you doing here?”

“Can’t be anything good,” Jey adds while he continues holding Atonga by his collar.

Miguel blinks at him and then the dog, “Mind if you put him away so I can have a civil conversation?”

Jey sucked air between his teeth with a grin, “oh this little guy? He’s a sweetheart.”

Miguel raises his brows in disbelief, one hand that was resting on his waist moved to where his firearm was, which the two of you noticed. Jey met your eyes and with a nod of your head, he quickly pulls the dog away to one of the guest rooms for a moment before making his way back.

“You don’t look that happy to see me,” Miguel attempts to joke with a raise of his hands, “that kinda hurts my feelings.”

Lifting your shoulders you reply, “I can’t say the expression on my face would be any different if you didn’t have that monkey suit on but—

Jey snorts out a laugh, which he clears his throat afterwards once Miguel sends him a sharp look before Miguel turns his attention back to you.

Miguel shortly exhaled through his nostrils, “Right, this suit is actually doing you a favor so I’d be a little more thankful.”

“Whatchu mean by that?” Jey clasps his own hands in front of him, defense mode was activated now.

You exhale, “Miguel, I don’t have time for this push and pull shit you commonly like to do, so just spit it out so you can get out my house.”

“I see your attitude still hasn’t changed. I thought we squashed our beef and it was all love?” Miguel’s mockery was still there and highly irritating.

Tilting your head to the side you cackle, “was that before or after you trashed my character to the tabloids over a little relationship when we were what? Eighteen?”

Miguel frowns, “I wouldn’t call my first serious relationship of three years to be little. Which is why I said what I said, if things don’t benefit you then you couldn’t care less. Maybe that’s why Roman did what he did and you didn’t give enough.”

“You don’t know me you spineless bitch!” And you stepped to him but an arm goes right across your torso from Jey before he shields you completely from Miguel.

Jey shakes his head while Miguel breathed out a laugh as he pinches at his straight nose, “I think you should stop instigatin’ and just say what you need to say, bro.”

“That’s officer to you, bro.” Miguel clarifies with a sharp stare but Jey just mockingly nods his head back and forth.

“My fault, officer pig.”

You grip Jey’s wrist and move to stand beside him, meeting his eyes to show him that this was mainly your problem not his.

Miguel ran his tongue over his teeth in annoyance but to your surprise he takes the higher road, “you’re right, I apologize.” He starts but directs that apology mostly at you, “I didn’t come here to start shit, I truthfully came to tell you something that’ll benefit—that’ll be useful to you.”

Clapping your hands together you rolled your hands about, awaiting for him to just say what needed to be said since he first opened his mouth to you.

“It’s Roman.”

Both you and Jey felt your blood run cold at this.

Miguel flicks his eyes from the both of you as he says his next words, “He’s been out in Florida this past week and recently made a purchase on a building to potentially expand either The Medallion or Bloodline. Miami’s team been watching him since he’s touched down in their city but a major red flag went off after recent events.”

Both you and Jey shoot confused glances at each other.

“Don’t tell me you two aren’t aware that Celosia Darlington was found dead yesterday night off route 41?” He deeply scans their faces for any changes in their expressions, “It appears that she was in a hit and run accident, she was thrown from behind off her motorcycle and it’s being investigated by my team.”

Jey has his eyes in slits, “and you think Roman had something to do with it? You just said he was in Florida when this happened.”

“Correct, yet a vehicle registered to him was found on surveillance…which leaves us to believe that he knows what happened and who was driving his vehicle.” His eyes lingers on you for some time before carrying on, “Also the building he purchased in Miami belonged to Celosia’s step-brother, who has been missing since March.”

Massaging the space in between your brows you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “What does Celosia’s step-brother have to do with Roman?”

“Roman loaned Celosia’s step-brother the funds to purchase that exact building back in January and her step-brother has a history of money-laundering.”

“Fuck.” Jey hisses.

This was bad, real bad.

Roman wouldn’t just loan a large amount of money without purpose, especially to someone he couldn’t trust. If he did this for Celosia’s step-brother, there had to be a reason and if he was missing? Then things really were turning to shit and it’s possible that Roman had something to do with it. However you and Jey both would never reveal that.

Miguel continues, “He’s been arrested and flown in to us. And I’m here to let you know that you’re also being suspected. The team will be here in the next fifteen so…that’s just a tip from me to you.”

“Why are you looking out for me?” You suddenly ask.

“Because believe it or not, I really loved you once upon a time,” Miguel disclosed with a soft sigh, “I want you to win and don’t want to see you get hurt any further. Especially if it’s at the cost of a grown ass business man who goes by: The tribal chief.”

“Aye, watch yourself. You’re not part of what we got going on, so you wouldn’t get it.” Jey warns while Miguel raises a hand in surrender, although he wants to laugh in the bronzed skinned man’s face, thrilled he could return the favor of striking a nerve.

Miguel looks at you one last time affirming, “fifteen minutes.”

“Fifteen minutes.” You dip your head, “Thanks, Miguel.”

“Ah, don’t mention it.” He winks, “but also don’t forget it.”

Which makes you roll your eyes although a small smile appears on your lips which Miguel mirrors with a crooked one. Jey breaks that up real quick, waving the swat member towards the door, followed by a forceful close of the door after Miguel takes his sweet time whistling along and eyeing the downstairs of the home.

Jey blows out a breath, “I see your type is assholes.”

“Jey, now is not the time.”

“I know sis.” Jey grips the back of his neck feeling some stress coming on, “I think I need to slide, hit up Jimmy, Sikoa and check on bloodlines where the rest of the family is most likely at.”

“Yeah you shouldn’t be here when they get here but please be careful…they’ll probably be on all of our asses now.”

Jey nods and steps forward to grip the side of your neck and place a kiss to your forehead while you hold your hand on top of his. “Can I take Atonga with me?”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re trying to steal my dog.”

“What can I say? Everybody loves uncle Jey!” He pops his collar with a grin while you fan your hand at him as a signal for him to do so.

Fifteen minutes gives you enough time to set a timer, change from lounge clothes to another set, have a cup of raspberry lemonade, and have your bag near by ready to go once that knock came at your door. You kept offline because you’re sure anything you did up to the time swat came to your door, would be monitored.

You kept calm as those fifteen minutes came around quickly and took your time getting to the door once the harsh knocks sounded. Turning the tv down, you take some seconds before getting to your feet, remote still in hand as you head to the front door, eyes fixated on the tv as you pull the door open.

Turning to the familiar three faces you meet each of their eyes in faux surprise, “Hondo, Deacon, Tan? I’d say it’s good to see you but I’m sensing this isn’t a friendly visit.”

Hondo dips his head to confirm that as he says your name, “hey…we’re gonna need you to come with us.”

You blink, “okay…and it takes three of you to do that?”

“It’s a special situation,” Deacon tells, “involving your boyfriend—ex-boyfriend? Roman Reigns and his personal assistant Celosia Darlington who was murdered last night.”

They all watch your face at this news.

Sucking in your cheeks you answer, “Well…I guess you’re right then, it is a special situation.”

Tan and Deacon share a glance at your words.

“Target the people that had the most interactions with the deceased.” You nod.

Hondo tries to ease how this appears to make it sound better but he knows you’re smarter than to believe his attempt to smooth over the truth of your words.

Tan is the one to speak next, “You know it’s nothing personal and how this goes.”

You give a tight lipped smile, “right so…which one of you is going to watch me grab my bag or…do one of you want to grab it for me?”

How did you have ties to SWAT? Your father was part of a team out in Long Beach back where you grew up and did some work with the twenty division in his remaining years before a serious injury left him paralyzed ending his career. You ended up following in his footsteps at twenty-one, working for the LAPD and working your way into the S.W.A.T. field before you gave that up to…you guessed it! be a full-time actress once you caught your big break.

And sure they still liked to give you shit for “abandoning,” them but it was evident that’s not where your heart laid, although you proved how big of an asset you were for the short time you were part of S.W.A.T..

“You’re not being charged with anything so that’s not necessary.” Hondo states with a hand for you do so.

Tan mutters, “Yet.”

Which earns him a warning glance from Hondo while Deacon does in fact, keep his eyes on you. You’re turning off the tv, reaching for your bag, then heading back to the front door, and hold up a finger to step back and grab your keys off the side table by the door. They give you time to lock up your home before you follow them to the charger.

You’re quiet on the ride to headquarters and the men aren’t sure what to make of that but they decide to not press you on the ride.

There would be enough of that once you’re in the questioning room.

Holding onto the strap of your bag, your eyes are looking all around the building seeing how much has changed and what hasn’t. There’s mostly new faces that already made up their minds as they eye you on your way by.

Guilty.

When you see Roman in passing, in handcuffs being lead in the opposite direction by the commander, it feels like many films you shot before with this moment being in slow motion. Roman can’t take his eyes off you and you see just how everything was taking a toll on him. He may appear collected to everyone else but you saw the stress underneath his eyes, along with the longing for you in them and how his hair was left hanging instead of neatly slicked back into a bun.

You don’t owe him any comfort but you’re not sure if you want to see him suffer either. When you love someone, that means you open up your heart but what happens when you open it up too far and that person leaves it badly bruised?

Start looking out for yourself and hold your own, that’s what.

Shifting your head, you carry on as Roman is almost breaking his neck watching you leave from his sight yet again. He was waiting on his lawyer and had nothing else to say, which meant he was being sent right back to the holding cell while it was your turn to speak your peace.

“Colombian?” You quiz Tan who slides a mug your way with a plastic cup full of ice on the side.

Tan is half sarcastic and half joking, “only the best for our superstar.”

You snicker, knowing just how to get underneath his skin for simply existing before he leaves you alone with Hondo.

“Given the circumstances, you can already guess why you’re here.” He starts as he watches you carefully plunk the ice cubes into the mug before using your pinky finger to spin the contents together.

You sip at the homemade iced coffee, “Losi’s been murdered and the sex tape she made with my—Roman was leaked. Did anyone find out if she was behind it?”

“We can confirm that she was and was supposed to receive $25,000 for it but only received $10,000.” Hondo responds with his hands clasped on top of a folder.

You snort, “tough titties.”

“How so?”

“It’s evident that she was money hungry.” You notify, “I don’t get involved in Roman’s businesses but I know he had to be giving her a good amount since he didn’t have a separate assistant—that I know of—to take care of the gym business. Bloodline has much more value to him than the casino.”

“Right…because he comes from a family full of fighters except for his mother.”

“Yup.” You answer and add more sugar, stir, wipe your finger clean on a near by napkin and take another sip.

Hondo opens the folder and spins it to face you before spreading the crime scene photos along, “Was the money the last straw for you? Enough to make you so angry to chase Celosia down the freeway, run her down, get out the car, and finish her off with specific shots to the body: one to the Radial Artery as she pleaded for her life, one to the Aorta, and right to the head to end it all? Did it make you feel any better?”

You swallowed the coffee as you looked away from the photos to meet the bald man in front of you, “It’s real tiring, hearing how everyone dictates how I should feel or questioning how I am feeling because of some shit someone else did. I get by and no I wasn’t expecting to hear how tragically Losi’s life ended, yet I can’t say I’ll shed a tear for a snake.”

“A snake that also asked you for money over the phone after the tape got leaked and you laughed at her.”

You lifted your shoulders not bothered that they knew this information, “what else was I supposed to do? I didn’t owe that girl a damn thing after she slept with my man.”

“Then you killed her.”

You stare up at the ceiling in frustration thinking about how it was once upon a time on the other side, “I’ve played a criminal in a few movies, doesn’t mean I am one in real life.”

Hondo pushes his lips out with a shrug of his shoulders, “Sure but you’re also dating a crime boss.”

You laugh, “Hondo, are you forreal? No. Innocent until proven guilty.”

“You’re still covering for him.” Hondo sighed with disappointment, “we know that both the medallion and bloodline partly stands for some underground organized crime and if we can’t get Roman for the murder of Celosia then he’s going down for the disappearance and presumed murder of her step-brother. Along with drug-trafficking, aggravated assault, and conspiring to commit money laundering. When he goes down, so will everyone else involved with him.”

You nod, “that’s the thing…I’m not involved with him anymore and I don’t have any clue about any of what you just mentioned. I’m also innocent.”

“Bullshit!” Hondo slams his hands down on the table, “you know, I’d hate to see everything you worked so hard for go right in the trash because of someone like him. I thought you let go of Swat to have a different safe life but you’re in just as deep. On the wrong got damned side! Are you sure Roman ever loved you because if he did? You wouldn’t be sitting here.”

Those words had weight especially training underneath Hondo. It stung but one can’t forget, you were also part of this team not too long ago, so you would never show just how much it did.

“Hondo…are you charging me or am I free to go?”

Funny, Roman said the same thing pretty fast with the request to call a lawyer and they had more on him than on you.

“I think you should keep that seat warm a little longer and I’ll be back.” Hondo advises with a stern look before he scrapes his chair back to exit the room.

In the quiet you sit, one hand on the cup of coffee while the other rests on your lap. It’s parallel to Roman who sits in the cell, elbows buried in his knees as his wavy hair curtains his face. He couldn’t believe he was here, how everything was slowly crumbling all because of a screw up, although he’s had many voices tell him before that everything would catch up to him at some point.

He didn’t think he’d see the day, not when he was just getting started. It was just like you said, he wasn’t good at taking any loss and he hasn’t yet. If he had to lose it all then he was damn sure determined to build it back up again with his bare hands if he had to. And every king needed its queen no matter which way she decides to play her own cards.

Roman’s played defense before and his queen wanted to be offense. There became more than one head of the table (secretly) when he met you so perhaps now was the chance for you to make some shots, not all.

Lifting his head, he closes his eyes and cracks his neck before clasping his hands together.

And he waited.

The door behind you opens, revealing heavy footsteps that tap rather than clunk as they make their way around the table. A small smile forms on your lips at the rim of the mug as you swallow, lowering the cup back to the table.

The man in the tan suit chooses to sit on the edge of the table and sends you his award winning smile as he says your name in greeting.

“Rock,” you address the burly man, “what took you so fucking long?”

His body lifts in laughter, “I’m a busy man lady but I always make time for family.”

Which lets you know he’s made a visit to the bloodlines first. You didn’t call him but you knew who did.

“So how can I help?”

“Can you go back and make joe not stick his dick in Losi?”

Rock exhales, “wish I could but you and I both know that was a Roman move not Joe.”

Which you already had time to think over. You had your own stage name and persona you had to put out into the world. Except you didn’t do too much in the public where it’ll reflect badly on who you were behind closed doors.

“I know,” you breathe out reaching over to rest your hand right on top of Rock’s who turns his own to squeeze yours warmly, “doesn’t make it hurt any less though.”

He pats your hand with his other, “we’ll get through this, we always do. Just hold on.”

“Always do, my grip is vice.” You wink while Rock nods his head, getting back to his feet.

“So I’ve heard, and that’s why you’ll always classify as a bloodline and if you ever want a career change—

You snort, “ha! I think I’ll choose early retirement before I change anything else.”

“Hold up, what’re you?! Thirty-one? You’ve got more fight in you than you say, this I see. So c’mon and continue to give ‘em hell so that they’ll never underestimate what the vice is all about.” He rests a free hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze before the door is pushed open, revealing Hondo and Deacon.

Rock fixes his suit jacket, “my client and I are finished here.”

“Wait a minute, aren’t you going to stick around for further questions?” Deacon’s eyes are in slits, clearly finding this suspicious.

Rock sends them his beaming smile, “you must have forgotten how well she’s capable of handling herself. You have nothing on her and all of this is just theories. I give you the next thirty to forty-five minutes to release my client and if you’re not done by then, I’ll remove her myself.”

“You have no authority here.” Hondo bites.

Rock’s smile never falters although a brow threatens to arch, “ah, so you haven’t checked my credentials yet…huge error on your part don’t you think? Gentleman.” He bids his farewell and Deacon follows him out with a clenched jaw.

Hondo turns back to you, resting his hands on the cool table as he leans towards you, “the hell are you all playing at?”

Wiggling your fingers in the air you sit back against the chair, “I’m just an actress.”

“Yeah…well we’ll see how good of an actress you really are.” Hondo snaps as he begins pacing before folding his arms, “now start talking, from the point you found out about the tape.”

Rock got a head start away from Deacon, sneaking his way into the holding area which is empty besides the person he’s looking for. He’s whistling now, shades covering his eyes as he strolls through the quiet area. He knows he has to be quick but he also knows that Deacon has lost sight of him. Rock makes his way over to the cell, still whistling as he spins, pressing his elbow against the cell before tossing his arm back with a white slip in Roman’s direction.

“Uce,” is all rock says before he circles back around, still whistling and then exits back out of the area unseen…well that’s until they look at the cameras later.

Roman waits for Rock to leave his sight before he pushes up to his feet, walks to the space where the white paper is resting, covering it with his foot before he shuffles all the way back to the bench. Once seated, he bends an arm down to pick at the edge of paper underneath his shoe and carefully unravels it.

His eyes quickly peers over the words and a smirk appears on his lips.

Offense: 1

S.W.A.T.: 0

Defense: ?

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ