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localkatshelter · 3 years

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Okame’s Underbelly: Anticipation |1st|

(Shinso x OC)

Katsumi's POV (localvillageidiot#0870) and Shinso's POV (hecker#8339)

Summary:

Two people with a common passion meet unexpectedly during one of Shinso's lowest moments. He'd like to forget it ever happened but Katsumi has her own reasons for not letting it go. Through push and pull, they struggle to understand one another, regardless they can't keep away from each other.

Preview:

| How long have I been staring at myself in the fucking mirror? My eyes look so dead...but don’t they always. I realized the extra lifelessness wasn’t due to my overall apathy or shitty eyeliner; it was due to them being red and puffy. That’s no good. I hurriedly searched through the cabinet for my eye drops. They were usually used for another purpose, but today, they’ll be used to disguise the fact that I had been crying. |

(Katsumi's POV)

My head fell forward for the millionth time as I struggled to stay awake for the last five minutes of my summer remedial science lab. Why does science have to be so boring? This fucking professor always lectures for the full three hours too. How could someone possibly have this much to say about chlorophyll? All I could do was watch the clock tick by until, finally, the class was dismissed. I gathered my things as quickly as possible and headed towards my dorm building. Throwing my things onto the kitchen table, I immediately started to strip and headed towards the bathroom. The silver lining in having to come to campus in the summer for my remedial class? Getting to move in early and having the whole suite to myself. I showered quickly and put on my typical Friday night attire: some broken-in mom jeans that I embroidered and had a friend paint on paired with a comfortable faded band t-shirt I had stolen from a partner I had long forgotten the name of, tucked and held in place with some old belt I fished out of a Good Will bin a few years ago. I hummed as I put on some clear lipgloss and touched up my hair. Perfect. I made sure to set out some dinner for my fat cat who was hiding somewhere in my bedroom, likely in my sheets. For a supposed emotional support animal, I never saw much of her unless she was in the mood to cuddle, which was usually at night.

“Harley, I’m going out. I’ll be back.” I called out.

She meowed from the bed in response. I grabbed my things from the table and tossed them into my bedroom before popping my headphones in and heading out the door. I was on my way to the only place that made my summer Fridays bearable: The Squeaky Wheelhouse.

After a short while, I walked up to a dark and disheveled, yet oddly charming, building. This was my hidden gem, the highlight of my college career, a place where artists gathered to share their work and critique the world around them without fear. Friday nights were open mic nights for spoken word poetry, which I didn’t think I would like until I heard Okame perform. Their words about the plights of the world of heroism and comic book celebrities brought to life really resonated with me. Most of their pieces were critiques on how heroes navigate their jobs and how they are treated by the government, the people, and each other. I admired the way they captured the duality of appreciating heroes for what they are while also not feeling a need to bow to them as if they were gods. It felt so real to me, especially because around the same time I first heard their work, I had started my photojournalism blog on a similar topic. It was really just a love project at first. I would take pictures of heroes in the heat of battle and use them to show how human they really are. Honestly, I'm not even sure if it was me or my quirk that had the idea first. My hyperempathology quirk sometimes had a mind of its own. It was always dragging me into situations that I had no business being in. I always ended up manipulating someone's emotions to make them feel better, which had positive and negative results. On the one hand, I was glad that I could make someone feel better. On the other hand, it made me feel like shit because not only did I manipulate someone’s emotions without permission; I also absorbed the negative emotions I had alleviated. In a strange sense, the blog was my own way of alleviating myself of what I had alleviated. I had never expected it to take off either, but there I was, a month later, still taking pictures of heroes in their most desperate and vulnerable state in an effort to humanize them. I kept at it because, well, they are people after all. They aren’t gods, they have emotions, but the way the media and the government build a hero’s image doesn’t allow for much expression. It’s unfair to them; it's as if they aren't allowed to be people anymore. I had always thought I was alone in that, but apparently, I’m not. My blog has a pretty decent following now, which I am super proud of. Although I’m pretty sure that a lot of people in the hero community despise or at least dislike me for basically being renegade paparazzi.

Oh well. No one knows it’s me who runs the blog. The closest anyone has ever gotten was when someone traced my IP address back to the college campus, but Kyoto University has upwards of 22,000 students enrolled. There’s no way someone would be able to find me out as long as I don’t use my personal electronics to post. Okame had also become a popular performer at the Wheelhouse and had a sort of residency time slot on Friday nights. It was weird, but I was proud of them too. I felt like we were similar, almost connected by our mutual views and creative outlets. On top of that, they used a pseudonym and a ghost performer just like I used a pen name and hid my IP address for my work. All of the aligning characteristics made me think we would get along if we ever met, but that’ll probably never happen.

I walked into the building, waving to the Friday night staff that I had gotten to know over the summer. I took a seat on a comfortable looking armchair near the back corner of the main room that had a decent view of the small performance stage. I opened up a book that I brought with me to read until the performances started. I ordered a large mint tea and settled in, anticipating Okame’s latest insight.

(Shinso's POV)

I had bitten my lips raw at this point. There’s no way it’s actually over. We’ve broken up so many times before, and we’ve always managed to hash it out. But this time felt different. She wasn’t returning my texts with curt responses. She wasn’t posting about me subliminally on her social media to piss me off. She didn’t show up at my house with the gifts I had given her and dramatically throw them at me. No angry voicemails. No tears. No nothing. The strangest part was that her last text wished me well, even though I ended it this time around. All of it almost felt like a real goodbye. But still, there’s no way.

I had to talk to her tonight to make sure. Throughout our whole relationship, despite our arguing, we never missed a Friday at The Squeaky Wheelhouse. That was our way to ease the stress from the strife of the week prior. No matter how mad we were, we would still begrudgingly sit together and enjoy the show. By the end of the night, we would always manage to soften towards each other once again. Even if my piece of the week was bitterly aimed at her, she still respected me enough to put my voice out there and perform it for me. That’s what I loved about her. She knew attention made me squeamish and vulnerability was definitely not my favorite pastime. I shared the document that contained today's piece with her. It was an apology. She could barely squeeze those out of me normally, so she had to know I was deadly serious this time around. I tried not to envision her reaction or dwell on whether or not she would even accept my apology because it made me so anxious that I wanted to jump out of my skin.

How long have I been staring at myself in the fucking mirror? My eyes look so dead...but don’t they always. I realized the extra lifelessness wasn’t due to my overall apathy or shitty eyeliner; it was due to them being red and puffy. That’s no good. I hurriedly searched through the cabinet for my eyedrops. They were usually used for another purpose, but today, they’ll be used to disguise the fact that I had been crying. Save those tears for later, Shinso. She’s seen me cry even less than she’s heard me apologize. Numbness was the best blanket I’ve ever had. But tonight, I’ll avoid covering myself up. I need to show her that I care because I’m known to fucking suck at it. After I applied the drops, I roughly ran my fingers through my torturously messy violet mane, exhaling heavily. I tried to dress up a little this Friday. I know it’s trivial, but I want to be my best for her tonight. My outfit was made up of my typical dark colors, but I dressed it up with a black jean jacket, chelsea boots, and a few bulky rings that she gifted me but were too cumbersome to actually wear. What makes them even more annoying is that I’ve been fiddling with them all evening to distract myself, and let me tell you, it’s not working. I have another hour until I have to leave; I need a better distraction.

I plopped myself down on my bed with my laptop and clicked on my “The Underbelly'' bookmark. I always loved the irony of this blog served as an escape but also as a merciless glimpse into reality for me. My leg bounced as the page loaded—no new posts. Shit...well, it has only been a couple of days. I thoroughly looked forward to the new content because the author and I are eerily like-minded as far as hero ideology. Sometimes I felt as if I wrote a few of the entries myself. They’re the only person that I felt connected to on a philosophical level, and finally having that was comforting, to say the least. It was a bit taboo to criticize heroes so harshly because it was easy to be labeled as ungrateful. I’ve personally always felt like a great way to show appreciation is to continuously try to improve a system that everyone relies on. I guess people just don’t like to make sense. Hero work is honestly one of the few things I actually cared about, and to see people be so dismissive really pissed me off. Then again, people don’t really know I feel this way. I try not to let people get into my head too much. That’s why I created my Okame persona. I wanted to get my views out there without making it about myself at all. I felt it didn’t really hold true to the purpose of my message, with the whole not making hero’s these god-like figureheads simply for doing what’s right. That and...I hate when people look at me for more than a few seconds. My searing glare usually fixed that right quick. Quickly getting over the minor disappointment, I closed my laptop. Well, I didn’t have another alternative distraction, so I decided to say fuck it and head to the kitchen for some liquid courage.

I downed about two shots of rum. I was taking the bus there anyway, so it’s not like it mattered. I checked my watch, 30 more minutes. I wracked my brain for something to alleviate the unbearable anticipation as I blankly stared at the bottle of rum. Oh! I could pick up her favorite soju. It’s super strong, so we usually reserve it for a day where we don’t plan to do shit else but enjoy each other's company. But I feel like if we’re gonna hash all the bullshit out, we might need to be generously buzzed. Liquor store it is. I adjusted my collar before I headed out the door.

I decided on four bottles of the grapefruit soju because she really likes tart flavors. She always made fun of me for liking the sweeter sojus, but I’ll let her think she has the better taste tonight. The drinks were hidden away in a plastic bag tucked under my feet. I tried to settle in my seat towards the back as I checked my watch again for the fifteenth time. It was now 5 minutes after the starting time. Guess both the show and my girlfriend(?) are running late. My hands automatically began scratching at the already chipped polish on my nails. She’s been uncharacteristically calm during this fight; I wonder if she’ll stay that way once she sees me.

#hitoshi shinso #my hero academia #mha #mha fanfiction #bnha #boku no hero academia #fanfic #shinso #shinso x oc #Okame's Underbelly

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yikesorps · 3 years

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💘 + collin & lyla

send me 💘 + A SHIP and i’ll tell you—

where they first met and how

They met while he and Avery were still in the dating phase. While they weren’t the best of friends, they kept in touch. I’ve always assumed that their career paths are what brought them together. I also think that the fact that he kind of always. had a crush on her ‘cause, well, we know how he is.

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved?

I think that it started even while he was still with Avery, but Lyla was never really aware of it. But as for when they really started to talk, it didn’t take that long for the two to soften up at the idea of each other. After all, he wasn’t used to someone being nice to him and she was under the impression that he was just cute and sweet. How’s that working out for you, LYLA?

who fell for who first ( if applicable? )

They fell at the same pace but I think Collin was the one that felt the need to really profess his love first. He was in such a hurry to prove that he was over his ex and so he sort of rushed the two of them into a relationship. It’s so weird because their idea of flirting is so widely different.

where their first date was and what it was like?

Their first date was surprisingly very cute. They went to a record store and they each picked an album for one another based entirely on the look of the cover. Then they laid on her flower and he asked her if she wanted to be his girlfriend. As horrible as a human as he is, that moment really sealed the deal for me when it comes to these two. I am absolutely weak for them.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

Collin asked Lyla out first. He did it, as I said, while they were laying on the floor and at their most pure. My favorite part is that it was right after he swore up and down that he was not interested in getting a girlfriend.

who proposes first

I don’t think that they’re going to get married. Collin never wanted to get married the first time, and especially now that he’s been so damaged over his first marriage I don’t think that either of them would ever propose. I think that’s a conversation that they’re going to need to have, and I don’t think that she’s going to like it.

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

Their relationship was never a secret, not even for a second. He made it very clear to everyone as quickly as he could. Well, he made it clear to Avery. Ahaha.

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

Again, there won’t be a proposal. He is emotionally stunted. Lyla, I am so sorry.

if they adopt any pets together

Collin is notorious for not liking pets, and so I don’t see either of them getting one together. One day he’ll accept her cat, but that’s about as far as these two are going to get.

who’s more dominant?

It is, and I say this with total sincerity, so obvious that the answer to this is Collin that I snorted as I typed this. Lyla does not have a dominant bone in her body.

where their first kiss was and what it was like?

Their sweet first kiss happened on their first date. It was very sweet, and I would go as far as to call it one of the most wholesome things I’ve ever written. He started off very sweet with her because deep down he knows just how important Lyla is for him to keep around because she is so incredibly good for him.

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

I can see Lyla getting them matching things, and he would go along with it just because he wants to make her happy. In particular, I think she’d get them mugs. Can you imagine the look on Avery’s face if she knew that they matched? I can’t.

how into pda they are?

They don’t go out too often but PDA isn’t really their style. I think that because their ideas of what is acceptable as far as PDA goes are so separate that it doesn’t work in their favor because he is far more touchy-feely than she is, meanwhile Lyla just wants to hold hands.

who holds the umbrella when it rains

Collin holds the umbrella for her because this is another instance of the height difference making it a necessity.

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

They definitely frequent the record store that they went to together, as well as small coffee shops, plant shopping. Their dates revolve around things that Lyla likes, for sure. Deep down Collin is such a softie for her, and he constantly does want to make her happy. I think that guilt is also a big factor in it.

who’s more protective

Collin is definitely more protective over Lyla, but once again, I think that guilt plays a heavy hand in that. He knows what he is capable of, and he hates the idea of sharing her. But I think that Lyla is more protective of his feelings because she knows just how sensitive he is, deep down.

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

It took quite a while before they had sex because that isn’t necessarily Lyla’s style. However, they shared a bed early on. They had their fair share of cuddling sessions and just trying to be close to each other whenever they could.

if they argue about anything

They argue pretty frequently but in such a lowkey fashion. I’ve noticed that they have pretty different outlooks on a lot of things. They argue mostly about the things Collin does, much like the other people in his life.

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

Neither of them and that isn’t from lack of trying on Collin’s end. I get the vibe that Lyla isn’t as into being marked up as Collin would like. But he definitely tries to get creative with where he leaves marks on her anyway. She just isn’t into his weird shit.

who steals whose clothes and how often

Lyla steals his shirts on occasion but I think it widely depends on the last time his laundry was done. Spoiler alert: she usually knows when that is because she helps him with it.

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

They’re either spooning or Lyla is laying directly on him. There aren’t too many inbetweens but they’re usually just cuddling no matter how it happens. That’s one of the things that they do happen to agree on.

what their favourite nonsexual activity ?

Listening to records together, talking, watching movies, cooking ( or rather Lyla cooking ) the issue with their nonsexual activities is that Collin always tries to make them so.

how long they stay mad at each other

It doesn’t usually last long because Collin truly doesn’t like to see her upset. We must protect Lyla at all costs, and therefore whenever he says something idiotic he tries to turn it around quickly.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are

We already know Collin likes his gross Dunkin’ shit. I see Lyla as a mostly tea person, but when she does get coffee I am working under the assumption that she likes it a little on the sweeter side.

if they ever have any children together

It’s hard to say just because he already is a father but it isn’t something that I would rule out for them. I think the possibility is there, especially considering that one of the only things that Collin is good at is being a dad.

if they have any special pet names for each other

How come none of our ships have cute pet names? I would love an answer to that. They are all so basic in this category.

if they ever split up and / or get back together?

I have a feeling that they’re going to split up very soon. However, they. will get back together because of the reasons we’ve already discussed. He does love his ex, but he also does love Lyla. It’ll take a lot of work though.

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

They have wildly different decorating styles so their shared space would have such an odd array of decor. Lyla would not let him make it messy, however, so it would be clean but she would get all of the credit for it.

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

They’ll be spending it apart just because he’s going to be with Willow. After all, Avery made it very clear that she is not allowed to tag along.

what their names are in each other’s phones

Collin is very basic, and it would just be Lyla’s name without any flare to it. I can see Lyla being a lot cuter about it and having it be ‘Col’ with some cutesy emojis.

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

They don’t have any set in stone traditions but that isn’t to say that they aren’t creatures of habit. I’m sure that once they get past their issues, or rather his issues, they will manage to form some traditions of their own though.

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first?

Lyla for both. Collin’s sleeping habits are absolute garbage. Whether it’s because he’s gaming, staying up all night drinking, or even just out with his ex-wife. Regardless, he isn’t ever an early riser unless he’s on tour.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon?

Collin is the frequent big spoon but sometimes they switch it up. However, he likes to feel protective over Lyla.

who hogs the bathroom?

Neither of them. Lyla may take a little longer, but I don’t see her being too high maintenance. Honestly? Collin probably takes longer than she doe. Hot fucking take.

who kills the spiders / takes them outside?

Lyla is another example of someone who I do not think would be keen on killing spiders. I think she makes Collin take them outside.

#Anonymous #♡ collin & lyla: i’ve been searching for a drug like you #what else would I do during a zoom meeting

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melyaliz · 4 years

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Remember Me 7

Master List

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Summary: Olive doesn’t remember anything and Bakugou remembers too much.

Pairing: Bakugou x OC (Olive)

Notes: Scheduling posts? what is that? Some sort of plan? hahah what? I have decided I am not going to wait to post this. I have most of it written so I’m just going to clean it up and post as much as I can. I’m just in a “fuck this lets go” mood.

Shout out to my husband who gave me that insult for my novel I’m working on... it was gross and honestly... I think there is something wrong with him.

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive

Connect with me! AO3 / Website / Pinterest / Newsletter

DONATE or REQUEST

-0-0-0-0-0-0-- Olive --0-0-0-0-0-0-

“I need an insult for this character to call the other character,” Olive said looking up from her position on the floor where she was typing away editing the Alien romance she was working on. Eliott was playing some sports video game.

“A cum milkshake,” he said without missing a beat

“What?” Olive let out a slightly shocked laugh.

“You heard me.”

Olive fake gagged rolling her eyes as Eliott burst out laughing “See? It’s perfect, I don’t know any context but I’m sure it’ll fit into any story.”

“You nasty” Olive chuckled going back to her story. “I’ll keep my story questions to only guns, Metal bands, and sports.”

They both lapsed into silence again Olive moving from the floor to the couch continuing to mold her story. The bones were already there; she just needed to add the meat. Like creative insults. Eliott got up moving to their kitchen. A few moments later he reappeared with a glass of something.

“Oh speaking of Cum milkshakes.” Eliott snickered holding out the glass, “Try this.” he held out his beer stein which had what looked like a foamy orange juice.

“Oh fuck what is that?” Olive said, taking a sip without question. Regardless of his off-color jokes she always trusted Eliott with his food and drink concoctions.

“It’s a beer-mosa with that white that Joe gave us.”

“It’s amazing when did you think this up?”

“Right now.”

Reaching down Eliott tried to take the drink from Olive only to have her slowly pull away from him looking up as she took both hands to grip the cup frowning at him.

“Did you want me to make you your own?” he asked chuckling

“Oh, this one isn’t mine?”

“No, I’ll make you one.”

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Bakugou has said he would be coming home late that night. Thus Olive had hunkered down with Dolemite to read her stories. Turns out she actually owned hard copies of the books on a shelf next to her desk. So after finding a blanket she had made herself a nest to dive into her works.

Dragon’s Dick turned out to be officially named “On Dragon’s Wings” about the ups and downs of dating a dragon shifter. Two hours later she was live texting Lilly bits of the story laughing at her work and getting so exciting trying to guess the ending. Lilly was getting a kick out of it texting her back with crazy theories even though she knew just how things turned out.

Olive was in it deep which was why she felt like she was waking from a dream when the door opened to her apartment. Dolemite letting out a soft meow before walking up to greet the blonde.

Her husband.

She could hear him curse at the cut along with a string of low words she assumed were in Japanese. It made her chuckle as she was sure the clingy cat almost tipped him on his way in. The fluffy cat had a way of getting right under your feet when you didn’t pay attention to him.

A moment later Katsuki came into the living room his dark red eyes searching for her slightly desperately only to relax when his gaze fell on her curled up in her fluffy blanket. She smiled up at him, eyebright body much more relaxed than they had been.

“Welcome home.”

“How’s it going?” he grunted nodding toward the book in her hand,

“I’m actually good! And like… it’s like reading all my ideas but finished!”

“Well that’s because they are,” he said sitting down next to her.

“I see so many things etched in these too… and some things I think are… maybe you?”

“Huh?” that took him by surprise.

“I don’t know,” she mumbled, flipping through a few pages trying to find the part. “It’s just so specific and I know it’s not something that.. Uhhh”

“Eliott would do.”

“Yeah”

“What is it?”

“I’m trying to… oh here it is.”

Brock leaned forward to light the fireworks “You light up my world” Cami said giggling at her own stupid joke.

“God you're stupid.” he chuckled his golden eyes flickering toward her as he, without looking lit up the firework. It sparked and flew up into the sky exploding into a million colors raining down on them. He was showing off now. Cocky smile on his face. “

Bakugou frowned, he had honestly never read her books. She had never asked him too so he just never had. But he now had a strong desire to pour over each text to see just what she thought of him. “You then tried to light one and almost set yourself on fire.”

“That’s in here too.” she laughed her thumbs going over the pages. “When did we start dating? This book says it was published about 3 and a half years ago.”

“Almost 4 years ago, we have been married for almost 2.”

“So we would have been together during at least some of this. That would make sense. Since there is a bit of a shift in tone from the first few chapters and the last ones. In fact this book in general is a bit different from my other ones that I do remember.”

“Oh?” Now he was really curious.

“Before my stuff was more… funny. Offbeat and silly. And this one is a lot like that, maybe a bit darker humor and then it kind of shifts to…” she paused holding the book in her hands, “almost tender.”

“Tender?” something about that made his heart heavy. Tender. He wasn’t sure he would call their relationship tender. Fiery sure. Passionate yes. But Tender?

Bakugou wasn’t a tender guy.

But thinking back to those first few months. Late nights texting. Video chatting. Her just smiling at him while he spent an hour explaining moves he was working on. Venting about work or just life. That one time she made him watch Miami Connection with her when she came to Japan and her laughing so hard she was in tears while he screamed at her asking why she would put him through something like that.

He didn’t think of those moments as tender but she did.

All those times he could catch her just smiling at him. Just sitting there watching him do whatever it was he was doing with this look that he couldn’t describe. At first, he used to get mad, thinking she was laughing at him feeling insecure about her gaze. But whenever he confronted her about it she would just shrug and go “I just like you.”

Then one day it was just normal. To see her catch his eye and just give him that soft smile. Like he was the greatest thing that had ever lived.

Looking back at it now was like seeing it in a different shade of color. Something about that seemed so strange to him. As if he was looking at this from an outsider. Looking in on someone else’s relationship.

“Hey Katsuki” her voice was soft and he was taken out of his musings. He turned studying her feeling that deep sadness that came from knowing that you may have lost something forever. All that history they had built together. A fear that maybe she wouldn’t like him anymore. She would want what she used to have so much more. That those looks she used to give him were gone forever. “I want to go to therapy.”

“What?” of all the things he thought she would say he wasn’t expecting that. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. Didn't want to. As if he so much as made a sudden movement this moment would disappear too.

“Is there some way I could do that? Maybe I could find a way to jog my memories. I just… I hate this.” she studied his face, both of them trying to read the other trying to find what they had lost. “I want to remember you.”

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

The next few weeks were weird ones. Bakugou would take a random day off here and there and even come home early or leave late. Just to make sure she felt comfortable in her environment. Help her find some sort of routine so she could do things without him needing to help her. While she always told him she could figure it out it was partly for him. He just wanted to make sure she was safe.

She started going to a therapist about twice a week and some things seemed to be coming back.

Mostly her Japanese.

Which made sense since she had been studying it for around a year before Eliott’s death. So Bakugou wasn’t sure if that was coming back because he was starting to talk to her in Japanese to help her or if it really was her memory.

There were other small things. Maybe muscle memory. When they would sleep he would feel her reach out for him, her fingers brush his side as if confirming he was there. He wasn’t sure if it was him or Eliott that she was reaching for but he didn’t care. Taking her fingers in his own he would hold onto her and pretend it was her body remembering him. Even if her mind didn’t

“Baku Baku?”

Bakugou froze at the nickname. He hadn’t heard that one in a long time. It was as if an icy hand had clinched his heart squeezing it hard. “What?” he asked.

“This video,” she said holding up. “Lilly sent it last night”

Olive was on Lilly’s floor laughing and talking in a mix of English and Japanese. He remembered that night. They had flown to the US to see some friends and family. While there Lilly, Clare, their husbands, and a few other friends had all gone out drinking. Olive had ended up taking shots with Clare and the two girls had gotten very drunk. Bakugou had basically half dragged, half carried her back to Lilly’s place

“That’s my fiance Baku Baku, he’s so cute.” Olive was saying as pointed at someone off screen.

“Good luck with that she’s done.” Lilly’s voice laughed from behind the camera.

“Are you filming me!?!” Olive asked, pouting her glassy eyes glaring at the camera.

“Yeah Niki wanted to make sure you made it home”

“Niki I’m going to cuddle the shit out of my Baku Baku. and then I’m going to...”

“Ok we are done,” Bakugou said coming into frame, bending down picking her up, throwing her over his shoulder. She giggled looking at the camera mouthing ‘wow so strong’. Then leaning forward she started not so quietly whispering to him

“I’m going to suck your--”

“Bedtime!” Bakugou said, shoving his hand over her mouth making her laugh.

That had been over almost 3 years ago but it felt like yesterday and a lifetime ago.

“Damn your arms are huge,” Olive said, zooming in on the image of Bakugou’s arm holding her. His bicep looking particularly large from the angel he was flexing.

“Hard work,” he smirked, enjoying the praise.

“I can’t believe you picked me up.”

“I can still pick you up,” he stated.

She giggled, shaking her head, “I believe you... Baku Baku.”

“God idiot.” as much as he hated that nickname he couldn’t help but admit it sounded amazing at the moment. Was he really that desperate for some sort of normalcy?

“Oh and this one too!” she giggled pulling up another video. Olive was standing slightly flushed, her arm slung over Momo’s. They were in a bar, colorful lights pulsing with the music blasting above. Mina’s voice came from behind the camera, clearly filming the two other girls.

“What happened?”

“This guy tried to grab Momo’s tits so I told him to take his little dick energy somewhere else and leave my wife alone.”

“Oh are you guys married now?” there was a giggle at the end of Mina’s voice, clearly finding the exchange hilarious. Momo had long ago gotten used to Olive’s very physical way of loving her friends and shrugged under her best friend’s arm.

“Yep, sorry Baku Baku.” Olive said, grinning pulling Momo closer to her playfully.

“Momo?” Olive said pointing to the girl,

“She’s one of my classmates from high school. She’s a pro, number 5 actually. You, her and the girl talking are all really good friends. There is also June that girl there.”

“Oh, where were you there that night?”

“No that was a girl’s night.”

She nodded looking at the video, “Can we go hang out with them? Would that be weird?”

Bakugou didn’t want to tell her that they had all been asking about her for weeks but he… he kind of wanted to keep her all to himself. Like if he held her close enough maybe he could pretend they were fine. And showing his old classmates what had happened was something that may have happened on his watch.

“I don’t know…” he said slowly.

They hadn’t found much on the mysterious America. He seemed to have disappeared into the wind. While Olive didn’t really go anywhere alone and Bakugou hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary to suspect he was coming back he still felt overly protective.

Maybe the America thing had just been some weird fluke.

But he had this feeling it wasn’t. Deep down it just didn’t feel right.

And no one from her past life had a querk like that.

He looked over at her. She was looking up at him clutching her phone with wide eyes. She looked so cute like that. “Please? I’m in the best city in the world and I feel like all I do is stay in here and read my own stuff.”

“I’m here” he hadn’t meant it to come out as hurt as it did but. It had.

“And you’ll be there too?” it was posed like a question, he wasn’t sure if that was a language mix up, she kept seeming to do that. Some sort of old bad habit. Maybe it had something to do with living in California. They all talked like they were asking questions.

“I can see if some of the old gang is available. But I doubt Momo will be. She is busy.”

“Mina and Kirishima too?” she asked breaking into a smile. He knew she was really only asking for them because they were the only other names she had seen. Mina had reached out even after Bakugou had told her not too. The two girls had gone back and forth a little bit. Mina’s English was ok and Olive’s Japanese getting better.

“I’ll ask. But don’t get your hopes up.”

“OK!” she giggled excitedly and he felt a sense of dread about it. Anxiety building up slightly at the idea.

“I said don’t get excited.”

“Too late Baku Baku!” she jumped up almost tripping over the blanket still wrapped around her. Instinctively he reached for her but pulled away when he saw her right herself.

“Don’t call me that!” it came out harsher than he meant it too. Force of habit. But glancing over at Olive she was already back on her phone looking through old photos of a girl’s life she had lived but didn’t know anything about. Her feet leading her toward the bedroom. Probably already planning her outfit.

He was going to regret this wasn’t he

Slowly she stopped in the hallway that split the living room from the other rooms in the apartment. Turning to him she looked at him confused.

“Are you coming to bed?”

His heart lurched at the image. Her all wrapped up in her blanket waiting for him. So familiar it made him want to lunge forward pulling her to him. Press her back to the wall while pushing his body against hers. To wrap himself up around her while she looked up at him with that little playful smile.

Instead, he just stood shoving his hands into his pockets as if that would hold him back. “Whatever, needy,” he mumbled, passing her as he walked toward the bedroom. She giggled watching him before bouncing after him. Like always ignoring his jabs as if she found them endearing.

Guess some things don’t change even if everything else does.

- GET TAGGED -

Master List

Story Tag: @0hmydeku @inumorph @it-jinxed-us @myraticm

#bakugou katsuki x oc #bakugou x you #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x oc #bakugou katsuki long fic #bakugou katsuki smut #bakugou katsuki fluff #bnah fanfic #bnah oc #bnha long fic #my writing #remember me

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sweetlydraws · 5 years

Text

Three Weeks

Three weeks until Marinette is supposed to start CloverBloom.

Marinette P.O.V

Tap. Tap. Tap...

“My lady? Are you okay? You’ve been up here for an hour and have made no progress.” Pollen said flying by my head. Sighing I put my tablet down and stretch my legs. Walking over to the banister. The only time I can come up here is during the day. Putting my head in my arms.

“Pollen, I.. I just can’t draw.” I sadly stated. “You think the test would be hard, but I got through them in a few days. And here I am not able to draw four outfits.” I feel Pollen settle by my body.

“My lady.. I’m not the most creative but..” Pollen trails off. They suddenly jump. “I have an idea! I’ll be right back.” I follow Pollen with my eyes as they rush into my room. Shaking my head, I walk over to the tablet. I can’t blame everything on her or any of my former classmates. I choose to stop designing. The last time is designed something it landed on the floor and I was.. Akumatized. Sitting back down, I look back to Paris. I miss this view at night. “My lady!” Pollen calls from my room. I take my queue and head down.

“Okay Pollen, here I am. What is your idea?” I said as I turn. I come face to face with Pollen’s, Nooroo’s and Trixx’s miraculous. I narrow my eyes. “Pollen”

“My Lady! You should design outfits based off of you! I mean based off of you transformed with us!” Pollen gleamed.

“No,” I said poker-faced. I turn to head back up to my balcony. Pollen flies in front of me.

“My lady! This is your best option!” Pollen said desperation in their voice. I push Pollen out of my way and climbed to the balcony. ‘What a coward. Can’t even think of transforming. Why?’ The fresh air hit me. Why? What a stupid thought. Walking over to the end of the balcony, I lookout. I wonder… Shaking my head, I can’t think of them anymore. ‘Why?’ I’m growing to hate that word. Why, why, why, why, why, why, whywhywhy! I grab my head. My heartbeat is in my ears. My feet feel like T.V static. My chest is hollowing. I can’t breathe. I can’t!

“Marinette. Marinette I need you to focus on me.” I can’t! “Marinette. Please.” I’m trying! I’m trying. I open my eyes. When did I start crying? Look forward I see Nooroo floating in front of me. “I won’t ask what happened. I understand I do really.” They hug me. I focus on my surroundings. When did I get so close to the edge? I start backing up and fall into my chair. Nooroo is close behind me. “Are you better?”

“I don’t know.”

“Fair enough,” Nooroo said. They look me in the eyes. “I’m not ready either.” I blinked. Sighing I fall back in the chair. Looking up in the sky. It’s so blue. So empty, not a single cloud in the sky.

“I’m… I’m going to need to able to transform to help Duusu.” I whispered sadly. I feel Nooroo next to my head.

“As will I. Marinette.” They hesitate before continuing. “ Pollen and Trixx have no idea how long a year or two is. They were kept in there boxes most of the time. Time works differently there. We kwamis have been around since the dawn of time.”

“What?’ I turn my head towards them. “I thought that you all came into existence when your ideas did?” Nooroo blinked a few times.

“Both statements are true, yes. We existed before the ideas were created, but not as Nooroo or Pollen or Trixx. We just were. Only after the ideas happened did we… How do I put this.. were birthed? Sounds gross. Anyway. The ‘physical’ forms of us happened. Before we couldn’t interact with anything or anyone. Now we could. After a long time, we were…” They trail off. “I’ll continue that for another day. What I’m trying to say was. Time isn’t a thing for us really.” Nooroo explained. They look back to the sky. I do the same.

“Were all you past users bad?” I thought out loud.

“Some. Were all the past Ladybugs good?” Nooroo replied. I wanted to say yes, but something stopped me.

“I don’t know. I know of the good ones.” I said honestly. A silence falls over us. I close my eyes. I don’t know how long we were up there for but when I opened my eyes the sky was full of clouds. I felt a raindrop hit my head. I pull my self up. Nooroo is sleeping next to where I was. I gently pick them up and head into my room.

“Hey, Mari! About time you came inside.” Trixx said flying around me. I take Nooroo and put them on my bed, so they can keep sleeping. Walking down I notice that Pollen wasn’t to be seen.

“Wheres Pollen?” I ask walking over to where the miraculous sat.

“Moping in the flowers,” Trixx replied melancholy? Looking over I can see the faintest of yellow between the green.

“Trixx get Pollen we need to have a talk,” I said. I tried not to put any anger in my voice. Truthfully I’m not mad. I follow Trixx with my eyes as they fly to where Pollen is. I can’t hear them but it seems Pollen is putting up a fight to not come over. This went on for a while before I had enough. I walk over to them.

“Pollen stop being a brat-! Hey Mari!” Trixx cut them self off. I look at Pollen. They aren’t looking back.

“Pollen, Trixx I have a question.” Pollen stirs and looks eye half-lidded. “How long is 2 years for you?” Pollen and Trixx look at each other.

“Not that long. Right? Like 2 years is hardly anything in a humans lifetime.” Trixx said arms going behind their head. They both look puzzled.

“What Trixx means is that humans lifespans are close to 70 years right? So 2 years isn’t that long…” Pollen tries to explain.

“Second question. How long has it been since you have had a full-time user?”

“Nearing 226 years.” Pollen replies.

“190 years,” Trixx said.

“Both of those seems like a long time right?” They nod. “Because it is! But 2 years is also a long time. 2 years is 24 months. 24 months is 730 days. 730 days is 17520 hours and so on.” They looked puzzled. “What I’m trying to say is. Yes, 2 years in comparison to 70 doesn’t seem like a lot, but it still is. For 2 years Nooroo was being used for evil by Hawkmoth. For 2 years I had Tikki and was Ladybug. For half of that time, I hated being Ladybug.” They looked shocked.

“Hated?!” They both said.

“When Lila started to make my life hell, being Ladybug became a break. I stopped treating it like a job. It became more like my time to run away.” Shaking my head. “ It shouldn’t have been that. My focus should have been on beating Hawkmoth. As things got worse at school… Things got worse as Ladybug. I was slipping. I wasn’t as good as I should have been. I regret that. I was resenting Tikki and Ladybug. Wonder why people liked her and not me. Chat didn’t help anything. The few and I mean few times I tried to rant to him, ended with me being to to ‘be the better person’ or ‘you’re Ladybug you should take the high road’ His constant flirting was driving me insane also.” I had to stop my self. I felt tears hitting my legs. Great. I was crying again. Looking at Pollen and Trixx again. Pollen was crying. Trixx looked on edge.

“My lady. I’m sorry.” Pollen cried hugging me. Trixx didn’t say anything and also hug me. I felt a third body hug me. Must have been Nooroo. I hear Pollen trying to say something but their words won’t come out. I sit down.

“I know. I know that you weren’t trying to be dismissive.” I said. I pause, not sure what to say next. Taking a deep breath. “Next week mom and dad are going to be catering a party in the hotel. I’m going to tell them to let me handle the shop. The party is at night, I’ll only have to watch the shop for a few hours in the dead zone.” They nod. I look in Pollen’s sad eyes. I still need 4 designs…

“About the designs.” They all are at attention. “I will base them off of... You all.”

“Us?” Nooroo questioned.

“Yes, instead of me transforming I’ll use you, Pollen, Trixx, and-” I stop. Taking a deep breath.” And Tikki.” Pollen grabs the others, pulling them into a group huddle. I suppress a laugh. They pull apart. Pollen floats forward.

“I would like to be a sundress.” Pollen gleamed. I start laughing.

“Okay. Pollen will have a sundress.” I look to Trixx and Nooroo.

“A casual one-piece thing,” Trixx said.

“A romper?” Trixx looks at Nooroo and they nod “Anything else.” Trixx shrugs. “Helpful.” I laugh.

“I would like to have a long tiered dress. For a formal occasion.” I nod.

“As for Tikki... Perhaps pajamas.” They nod. “ I don’t want the clothes to look like your hero- or villain counterparts.” I corrected myself. Grabbing my tablet. “ I’m going to run this by my parents and start working.” I head to the trap door. I turn to them. “I may not be ready now. But we will transform sooner rather than later.” I smile and head down.

Somewhere else in Paris

Unknown P.O.V

I hate the rain. It’s cold and wet and I don’t have an umbrella. I hold my jacket over my head. As I walk past an ally, I hear the sound of a crying cat. It’s not my problem, It’s not my problem, It’s not my problem, It’s not my problem, It’s not my problem. Dammit! I turn down the ally. There I see a group of kids? They're attacking the cat.

“HEY! Back of the cat!” I yell, I square my shoulders, putting on my jacket, and start stomping towards them. The kids run away. When I get to the cat. Their small, the cat is ginger with a black pattern. They have a fluffy tail and a large black looking dot on their head. My aunt doesn’t like cats… I’m sure it will be fine. I hold out my hand. The cat rubs their head against it. I pick up the cat and try my best to cover them.

“I can’t keep you. But I’m not going to throw you away.” I tell the cat as if they understand me. When I get home I’m meet with auntie. She looks at me than the cat then back at me.

“Before! You say anything. A group of kids attacked them. I going to take care of them until I leave again. After that, I’ll give them to the animal shelter.” I hold the cat next to my face and smile. The cat makes a happy meow.

“Fine. If they destroy anything, they will be sent to the shelter early!” She said with determination. I kiss my aunts head and head upstairs.

#Painted Lady Au #ml fanfic #miraculous ladybug #Ml Nooroo #Ml Pollen #ml trixx #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #ml Tikki #ML aU #miraculous Ladybug au #ml salt

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khadij-al-kubra · 5 years

Text

Thomas in Wonderland (ch 4)

Characters: Thomas (fictional), Virgil, Roman, Patton, Logan, Remy, Emile, Joan, Talyn, Deceit, Nate, The Dragon Witch, fan adopted short vid characters

Word Count: 2400 (no betas, we die like mortals)

Summary: Thomas plays a game and says a swear word.

Author’s Note: *blows cloud of dust off this work that's accumulated since the last chapter* I know. It's been a while. Sincerest apologies. Apparently juggling multiple creative projects while also balancing personal life stuff is...trickier than I anticipated. Thank you to everyone who's still stuck around with this story, it truly means a lot. And trust me, you're going to like what's coming next, because we'll finally be seeing the sides! Starting with a certain necktie wearing blue caterpillar... ;D

I'll do my best to update more frequently, if not consistently since my posting schedule tends to get more sporadic than the Red Queen's mood swings.

Now then, back to our irregularly scheduled madness...

<=PREV

Animals & Improv

Just keep swimming; just keep swimming, Thomas mentally sang to himself, even though he was not swimming but floating along rather peacefully. As Thomas let his body float along, he tried to keep a sharp eye out for anything he could use as a raft or flotation device. Or maybe a bank of dry land he could swim to. He still wanted to find the Black Rabbit, or at least a place to dry off.

“Come on, there’s gotta be a leaf or a log or somethi—Oof.“

The current made Thomas collide into something. It felt warm and soft, albeit damp. And the thing had a tiny hand clamped on the sleeve of his jacket. Oh dear lord please don’t let it be a killer sea creature!

“Sorry man,” said the something that was not a sea creature.

It was a rat with brownish russet fur that almost looked orange in the sunlight. Poor thing was soaked ear to tail; yet he seemed to not be very much bothered by their current predicament. Frankly Thomas was a little bit impressed by this rat’s very chill attitude. As for the talking factor, well, at this point not much surprised him.

“Thought you were a raft,” said the Rat.

“Oh, no I’m not a raft,” said Thomas, happy to find he wasn’t alone. “I’m a Thomas.”

“Hello. I’m a Toby named Rat. Or a Rat named Toby. Depends on the day, and today, I’m Toby.”

“Nice to meet you Toby. Just wish the circumstances were better,” said Thomas. “Say, is there a raft around here though? Like a rescue party or something?”

“Dunno. Maybe,” said Toby. “What would a raft look like? Does it look anything like a rat? Oh I hope it’s not made of rats, or that would be bad news for me!”

“Umm it’s like a big, wide, sometimes flat thing you can float on,” said Thomas.

“Oh, you mean like that?” Toby asked, pointing over Thomas’s shoulder.

Thomas turned around to where Toby was pointing and saw that, indeed, there was a raft. Not one make of rats, thankfully, but rather of tied together branches drifting their way. It even had a mast with a rainbow flag tied on top and flapping in the breeze. There even seemed to be a few other animals riding on it as well.

“Yes! Yes, exactly like that. We’re SAVED!” Thomas cheered. “Come on Toby, we can swim straight toward—

“GAAAHHHH!!!” screamed Toby.

“What? What’s wrong, are you alright?” Thomas asked, worried that the Mouse might be drowning.

“How can you say such a cursed S word?” asked Toby, clearly aghast but very much not drowning.

“What, swim?”

“No, no, that’s as harmless as a cat.”

“…Saved?”

“Not yet we aren’t. Come on let’s swim ahead. They seem to be meeting us halfway, you silly goose.”

“I’m not a goose, I’m a man.”

“A goose can’t be a man too?”

“…You know what? Never mind.”

“Can’t never a mind if you haven’t got the right kind.”

Thomas was very confused but decided not to press the matter further. Goodness knows, he didn’t want to end up in a defensive argument again like he had with those mean flowers. So he and Toby swam forward until their fingertips touched the edge of the raft, which was indeed made out of wood and thankfully not rats. A shadow was cast over them, and Thomas looked up only to be faced with a rather large crab. Thomas might have been frightened of it under normal circumstances but by this point, the only thing that really would surprise him is if something relatively normal happen.

“Well hi there precious,” said the Crab, in a sort of southern drawl. “Looks like you’re in need of some assistance.”

“Yes! Yes we are,” Thomas said, relieved.

He expected the Crab to pull both him and Toby onto the safety of their raft. However, they just kept a clawed grip on them as they bobbed along. After a pause the Crab spoke again, giving Thomas a pointedly expecting look.

“Yes aaand?” he asked.

“Um, yes and, I’d really appreciate it if you pulled me and Toby up onto your raft, please?” asked Thomas.

"Now that’s more like it sugar! Yes and sugar, I can certainly do that.”

The Crab pulled Thomas out of the water with one claw and Toby out with the other. Thomas was sopping wet and incredibly grateful to be on a solid dry surface again. He saw Toby shake himself out to dry his wet fur like a puppy would. Unfortunately Thomas wasn’t able to get dry that way, sadly, but he did take his shoes off and wring out his socks. I’m sure nobody will mind, Thomas though as he pulled off his left then right sneaker, then his right and left sock, and then wiggled his raisiny wrinkled toes. There was nothing worse than the feeling of wet socks, no matter what world within or without of a rabbit hole you were in. It was just a universal unpleasantness. Hopefully the suns warm rays would help dry him off a bit.

“You can call me Mike by the way,” said the wide faced Crab, whose name was Mike.

“Thank you Mike. My name’s Thomas and he’s Toby—“

“I don’t believe you,” said another voice.

Thomas turned towards the source and saw a Dodo bird wearing a French Revolution style jacket and three point hat with a rainbow feather in it. Despite Dodos being extinct and probably being nowhere near France, this honestly wasn’t the strangest thing Thomas has seen today. So it was somewhat believable that one would be talking to him.

“Um, but that is my name,” he said. “My name is Thomas Sanders—”

“Yes, and I am Magenta, Captain of this vessel, as you can tell from the feather in my hat. And these are my troupe of buccaneers.”

The endangered if not extinct Dodo gestured a stubby wing towards the two other creatures aboard the raft. There was Mike the crab, and a Duck whose name Thomas did not yet know. Along with him and Toby, they were a queer group to say the least. (In both the old and new sense of the word, he would guess form the rainbow flag) Still, it cheered Thomas up to not be floating alone anymore. On top of that, the sun was finally drying him off. Thomas couldn’t believe his luck.

“I don’t believe it,” he said, with a grateful smile.

“Alright,” said Magenta. “Then I am Magenta, Admiral of this vessel, as you can tell from my macaroni. And these are my troupe of hostages”

“Wait what?” Thomas asked, thoroughly confused and a little anxious. Suppose the reverse could be worse, he thought.

“Yes,” said the Duck. “And I am Brian, the senior hostage, for I am the oldest.”

“Um, I don’t believe you sugar cube,” said Mike.

“I am Brian, the newest hostage, for I am the most clever,” said Brian.

“I don’t believe you!” Toby chimed in.

All four animals looked towards Thomas expectantly. Ohhh now I get it.

“I don’t believe you?” Thomas asked, familiar with the rules of the game, now that he recognized it.

“For I am the dumbest,” said Brian.

“I don’t believe you,” said Mike, giggling.

“For I am the most gay,” said Brian.

“Yes and,” said Magenta with a solemn nod. “Although, it could always be gayer.”

“Yes and!” They all chimed together.

Thomas found himself actually having fun for the first time since he’d arrived in this strange place. It sure was a good thing he’d gotten better at improv since practicing so much with Joan. Maybe he could even use this as a way to get some directions. If not, well, at least they could keep playing until someone saw dry land. Hopefully.

“Yes, and I had seen a…white rabbit earlier today,” said Thomas.

“I don’t believe you,” said Toby.

Thomas grinned to himself, proud of how clever he was being. “I had seen a Black Rabbit earlier, but lost it.”

“I don’t believe you sweet pea,” said Mike.

“A-about the first or second half?”

“Yes and,” said Mike.

“O-kaaay, It was a black rabbit, and I was trying to catch up to him.“

“I don’t believe you,” said Magenta.

“…It was a Black. Rabbit. And—“

“I don’t believe you,” all four animals said.

Thomas groaned. “Geez, okay, well, I’m not going to change that part. Screw the rules. I am sticking to my guns with that, because it WAS a Black Rabbit and it ran away from me, and I have to find him because he dropped his pocket watch and I want to give it back to him.”

“Yes and,” said Brian. Thomas smacked himself on the forehead. “I saw a Rabbit shaped fellow earlier with black fur and a purple waistcoat.”

Thomas perked up. “You did!? I mean, Yes! And?”

“Yes and he was doggy paddling anxiously through the water, so clearly he was actually a rabbit shaped Dog.”

“I don’t believe you,” said Magenta.

“I do! I believe you,” said Thomas. The rest of them paid him no mind though.

“Alright then. He was a rabbit shaped paddle,” said Brain.

“Yes,” said Mike. “And he swam that gay, on his way to the Red Queen’s castle.”

“I don’t believe you,” said Toby.

"He was on his was to the Yellow King's castle."

"Yes and!"

Thomas let out a big sign and sat down on the raft as the others continued to play. This was getting ridiculous. He thought for sure he was starting to get on the right track, but then they had to keep imposing their own ideas into his line. Which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but he didn’t like that what he knew was the right thing was being dragged so much you might as well call it left. At a certain point, even a ridiculous story line had to have some truth and consistency to it. I mean you can spell madness without sense…I think?

Fortunately Thomas hadn’t gotten too deep into mulling this verbatim verses spelling conundrum. Otherwise he might have missed the very distinct strip of land that came into view over the water. And it was getting bigger and bigger, as though the mainland itself had drunken from one of those growth sodas. Either way, Thomas hadn’t been so happy to see dry land since his uncle’s last fishing trip.

“Land hoe!” Thomas said, pointing ahead.

When he turned towards the rest of the strange crew, they didn’t share in his excitement like he thought they would. If anything, the animals shot him a look that could almost read as judgy-wudgy.

“Now there’s no need for that kind of language sugar bean,” said Mike, his claws tut-tutting. “If a piece of land wants to be sex-positive, that is their prerogative.”

“No, no not that kind a— I meant there’s land straight ahead.”

“GAAAHH!” All the animals screamed.

“What? What did I say!?” asked a startled Thomas.

“How DARE YE say the ‘S’ word!” said Magenta, his beady eyes glaring.

“Again!” Toby said, tail trembling.

“What would your mother say!?” Mike asked, aghast.

“She certainly wouldn’t say that,” said Brian. “A self respecting mother would sooner stick a bar of soap in her own mouth. That always teaches naughty mouthed boys a lesson in saying bad words.”

The others nodded in agreement.

“Wait…you mean ‘straight?’” asked Thomas. They gasped. “All I said was there’s land straight ahe—“

Another terrified scream. Brian looked about ready to faint.

“Now really, you all are being silly. There’s nothing wrong with the word straight.” They screamed again. “And we’ve got to steer this raft on a straight—”

Again they screamed, gasped, and yes even fainted. Those still conscious gambled about aghast across the deck or around the rainbow flagged mast. Thomas sighed and rolled his eyes. And they call me a gay disaster.

“—coarse.” Thomas sighed.

This was clearly getting him nowhere, and he wanted off this raft. Fortunately the tide was on his side, and as the waves rolled them forward he could see that the water was just shallow enough for him to wade hip deep through. So he grabbed his sun dried shoes and socks, (held above his head of course because what would be the point of them getting wet again?) and carefully lowered himself off the side of the raft into the water. His feet sunk into soft sea soil but at least he could stand. Thomas would have said his thanks and goodbyes to the animals, but given their current state he thought better of it. So he simply started wading through the water towards shore.

At last, he touched dry land. Thomas took a full breath of relief. From his current vantage point, it looked as though he had stumbled upon the outer edges of a tropical island. With long green stems for trees, soft brown sand, and in the distance the greenery rustled with (he shuddered to think) the scurrying of animals or insects. But he reasoned that by normal Thomas-sized standards, it was probably just a regular garden. To think that his river of tears had likely been nothing more than a silly puddle problem, although it certainly had felt bigger at the time.

“Well that was the oddest trip on a boat I ever took,” he said, grabbing a blade of grass to towel dry his legs with. “At least it wasn’t boring. Now to figure out where I am…Probably would be easier if I was people sized again.”

Indeed, while crying himself a river had improved Thomas’s mood, it did nothing to improve his current height. He immediately regretted not saving some of that soda. At the very least, the silver pocket watch was still with him.

“Okay new plan,” he said as he put his socks and shoes back on. “Get back to me size, then find the Black Rabbit and give him his pocket watch back. He’s probably worried sick over it, poor guy…Guess I’ll just walk straight ahead till I find a path.”

If Thomas has strained to listen, he might have heard the echo of a queer troupe of animals crying out from across the water.

NEXT=>

General Tag List: @quoth-the-sparrow @altruistic-skittles @em-be-lievable @justisaisfine @broadwaytheanimatedseries@thekeytohappiness-is-you @jynxlovesluck @queer-human-being@phlying-squirrel @ab-artist @grey-lysander @a-valorous-choice@xx-fandom-potato-xx @impatentpending @book-of-charlie@randomslasher @tinkslittlebelle @insanelycoolish @ironwoman359@icecoldparadise @bluebloodstains @purpleshipper@patchworkofstars @axyzel @hissesssss @beautifully-terribly @pink-and-purple-flowers @thatsanswitch @6tick6tock6 @hanramz-the-fander @azlinne @helplesscreator @thestoryofme13 @bibbidi-bobbity-booyah @accidental-sanders @moonstone-fox@smokeyrutilequartz @madly-handsome @puns-and-patton@notveryglittery @eequalsmcscared @safesandersides@lizziepopanime @anxiously-unsatisfied-world @unikornavenger @fuck-my-life-i-want-food @backatthebein @mephonic @paperghastly @ravenclawangst @iamtrashcans@loganberrysanders @icequeenoriginal @ierindoodles @a-new-witch-in-learning @punsterterry @goldteethandacurseforthistown @your-average-pangirl

Wonderland AU Tag List: @thatsthat24 @punsterterry @mycatshuman @to-precious-to-process @amazable01 @monstercupcake61176 @pinkbea09 @aliceofscarletflames @llamaavocado @justsomerandomhooman @romano-cheesy @grade-a-trash-blog @chituri @dangerfishie @bat-fangirl77-fan @icantbeme71097 @thesassiersilv101 @the-psycho-pie @satanblessi @elementalshadowwitch @stuck-in-a-surrealist-painting @journalanxiety @atomics-writings @notcool88@purplelamaart @stuck-in-a-constant-daydream @thunderstorms-roar @sanderssidesstuff @wheezewhats-life @sillydeer39 @starbucks-remy @sugarglider9603

#KDsWriting #Thomas in Wonderland AU #thomas sanders #character thomas #sanders sides #sanders sides fandom

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fearfilledvirgil · 6 years

Text

Ivity and Anx: part thirteen

Summary: Patton has an internal struggle. Since he is bent on not remidying it himself, Roman gives him a way to solve the problem.

Warnings: abandonment issues, crying, self-depreciating thoughts, lowkey guilt tripping, pondering on thoughts, song writing

Word Count: 2708

Paring: Slowburn Prinxiety

A/N: I love how vauge I can make my summarys, okay? But. This is it. This is where things get interesting. Sort of. Sorry for the long wait again! I now have chapters written and planned out, so there won’t be a long wait again. Enjoy! (Taglist under the cut)

masterlist

Taglist: @rileyfirstname @verymuchanidiot @definentlynotjustanotherlemon @silversmith-91 @kanejandkruge @sander-fander-sides @lovecrazyjennybear @the-incedible-sulk @hexdream18243 @crows-with-hats @monikastec @definenormalifyoucan @i-am-absolute-fandom-trash @applecannibal @cats-with-blogs @bubblycricket @gay-girls-do-it-better @bunnyartie @quietlypondering @elusivefalsehoods @hghrules @royallyanxious @quietwords-loudthoughts @squishynonbinarytwink @sortablue @illogical-anxieties @savingshae @a-fander-named-skittles @thelowlysatsuma @ughthatsprettygay @im-so-infinitesimal @certifiedtrashxx @karmels-stuff @littlelogicstillcounts

The most practical next step of action was simple. Patton understood that. It was very easy to understand, but for the most idiotic reason, he couldn't. It wasn’t logical at all, but then again, logic was never his department. It was always Logan’s, and Logan was the problem. Not him himself, but he was heavily involved. The real culprit was time and education, although it was bad to blame anyone for the current situation. Patton liked to place blame, whether it be on himself or something else, because then who was right and who was wrong could be clear. In this situation, though, no one was at fault, so maybe that was the very problem.

Another sinking feeling in Patton’s chest made him open his mouth ajar, almost gasping for a breath. The sensation twisted itself into his gut, prompting Patton to screw his eyes shut, clench his jaw, and shake his hand. No, the problem wasn’t that simple. It wasn’t cut and dry. It was Patton, sitting criss cross on the floor of his bedroom in the dark with his phone in his hands, lit up, with his thumb hovering over Logan’s contact.

Patton felt a prick of pressure begin to build behind his eyes, the pressure traveling into his sinuses and making his nostrils flare. He didn’t want to cry, but here he was with his phone screen blurring. It was silly, really. Logan had only been gone for a few months or so, but the contact that the younger had with him tapered off into something nonexistent. The sinking feeling reared its ugly head once again, this time traveling farther into his throat instead of his stomach.

He really needed to get a grip on himself, considering that as he had this thought, his sleeved hand moved to his mouth to cover a sob. Patton was not good with change, nor was he good with people leaving him. The therapists called this “abandonment issues,” but Patton’s negative thoughts just told him he was insufferably clingy. That’s why he had let his and Logan’s texting routine die. He didn’t want to be a bother. Like Patton had thought before the waterworks started, this all could be stopped by sending a simple text. It was currently early morning where Logan was living in his dream collage, so it wouldn’t be a problem. Logan was such an early bird, always sending “Good morning, Patton. Was your sleeping satisfactory?” texts at 8:30 a.m. on the dot. The thought of those texts and the conversations sprung from them made a smile come to Patton’s face.

They would talk about how they slept after that: how many hours, if it was deep sleep or not, and if either had any dreams. Logan never had dreams, but he loved to hear about what crazy dreams Patton had during the night. The younger always loved those conversations, mostly because he loved to baffle the older. Patton thrived off of the confusion, having laugh attacks frequently. When he tried, Logan was absolutely hilarious. That wasn’t even mentioning how endering his fun facts were, nor was that statement saying how adorable Logan got when he was passionate about something. Patton let himself give a bittersweet smile between the heavy breathing that came with crying.

Patton didn’t know why he was reacting in such an extreme way. It wasn’t like he was dead, or like he didn’t have the power to text him at any moment. The problem, though, that was still very present was the fact that it was extremely hard for Patton to reach out first. He felt too clingy when he did that. It was the actual, real problem here. Not Logan, not time and education, not no one being at fault, and not even Patton fully. No, the problem was not talking to Logan anymore, and it was ripping a hole in Patton’s chest. It hurt the younger more than he could imagine because in the end, he knew Logan would leave eventually along with everyone else. Except Roman, apparently.

An incoming text shook Patton out of his mind spiraling down into the deepest, needist part of his mind. He blinked a few times, trying to get the remaining tears to get out of his eyes. At the same time, he furiously wiped the tears away with his sleeve. He sniffed, pulling down the notification window on his Android phone. He and Logan always had that in common, while their friends had iPhones.

Prince Roman: Padre? You good? You didn’t respond and I know how you worry

Pappy Padre Patton: I’m diddly darn dandy!!!!!

Prince Roman: You know I know that 5 exclamation points means a cry for help What is wrong, mi hermano más cercano?

Pappy Padre Patton: Logan and I haven’t talked in a few days

Patton was already feeling a bit lighter, now that he was starting to talk about his issue. Roman knew full well his “abandonment issues” that sprouted from being in the foster system, so he was probably going to pick up on his current conundrum fairly quickly. A small smile presented itself again on Patton’s lips when he did a quick translation of what Roman said in his head. My closest brother. His friend was such a sap, but the younger absolutely loved it.

Prince Roman: Text him!! If you don’t, I’ll give you a reason to text him

At that comment, Patton got very confused very quickly. What was Roman going to do, kick him out of his life? Do something so stupid that even Patton needed help on how to tell him he was wrong? There was so many possibilities and ways that the sentence Roman just sent could go, so Patton decided in about 0.001 seconds that it would be best to ask.

Pappy Padre Patton: What do you mean??

Prince Roman: I’ll write an angsty song and post it Without asking the label

Pappy Padre Patton: Roman!! That could get you into serious trouble! Think about the contract! You already follow it to a T. They are already waiting for a chance to reprimand you so no! Do not!

Prince Roman: I won’t if you talk to Logan

Roman was a dirty, dirty negotiator. He never tried to compromise with people he didn't know, just for the reason that he didn’t have leverage on them yet. He would find what his friend is most worried for him about, then use it to his advantage to get something he wanted. Luckily, the usually chivalrous boy did not use these powers for evil, but only used them to motivate people into doing something that they should be doing. Most of the time, that is.

Pappy Padre Patton: Fiiiiiiiiine You are a dirty negotiator

Prince Roman: You know you love me

Pappy Padre Patton: Te amo hermano always!

Patton smiled softly to himself, silently hoping that he didn’t mess up the translation of saying ‘i love you, brother.’

Prince Roman: That makes me happy Now make me happier by texting your Logan?

Pappy Padre Patton: Ok ok I def will!

And then he didn’t. Roman knew for a fact that his friend didn’t talk to Logan after their conversation, because there was a very specific series of events that happened after the two talk. It would start with Patton sended Roman many exclamation marks, then would turn into an explanation of the punctuation. Usually it would be something cute that Logan said, but sometimes it would be because Patton said something odd himself. Then the younger would go into the conversation in more detail, highlighting the cutest moments and becoming very flustered when Roman would ask questions about his feelings. It was routine, and Patton was not one to stray from routine since he started talking to Logan.

That was why as the sun started to get low in the sky, Roman got his guitar from it’s holder and his writing notebook from his desk. He splayed them out on the floor, sat down, thanked whatever was out there that his moms weren’t home, and began to brainstorm for a song. Brainstorm meant a very specific thing for Roman, as he was finding out. He was sit criss cross on the floor, his elbows on his knees and head in his hands. He would string his hands through his hair, rarely pulling on it when he got upset enough with this odd part of his creative process. He would collect his thoughts, focus on what he was feeling, and then go and do one of two things. The first would be to go through his notebook and see if there was any one liners or small sections of lyrics that he could expand on. If none of these felt correct to do in the moment, then he would ponder some more and write something completely from scratch. Latter options rarely happened.

Roman was feeling frustrated, to say the least. He wanted to talk to someone about anything, but he knew that Patton was off the grid for the moment. Anytime that boy faced a problem with texting someone, he turned off his phone and hid it under his many pillows. Patton was the soul person that he could talk to about these kinds of emotions anymore, considering that Anxiety had completely shut him out. Anxiety was honestly the main reasons for most of these emotions. Roman was sad that he was gone, mad at himself for all that he said to Virgil, and just generally frustrated with the whole situation. It would have been so much easier if he never signed up for the Sarrahs Project, but then he would have missed out on the amazing late night conversations that he and Anxiety had. Now that those were over, there was a empty spot in his chest that was waiting to be filled by confiding in Anx again.

It wasn’t fair that Roman had been lead astray to ridicule Virgil and make him feel like he had to be someone he wasn’t. Then again, Roman felt that way a lot of the time too. That’s why Anx and Ivity worked so well together, but it’s also why it hurt so much to not have each other around anymore. Roman wished that he could tell Virgil all of this, and just unload all of the truth onto him, but he understood that the other wanted distance. It was hard to put the pride that Roman always wore as Princey aside and let Virgil see that Ivity wasn’t a lie. That none of it ever was any kind of fabrication.

Roman breathed deeply, taking his hands out of his hair and looking down at his notebook. With all his feelings and emotions inside sorted, he could now try and sort through the one liners he already had written in his book. Rough, calloused fingers reached out for the leather notebook, ready to search to his heart’s content. He unbound the elastic holding the large and old book together, beginning to search through its yellowing pages for the lyric to make the next Princey single. Most of what he passed used too many masculine pronouns, but he passed those for a reason. Some name-dropped Virgil, and Anxiety, so those were also a line to stay away from. After pages upon pages of searching, Roman finally came to a halt.

“Can you be psychic for me? Please? That would make this easier on both of us.”

As soon as he saw the lyric, a million different words and emotions flooded through his head. Roman stared at the words for several more seconds, trying to process the sudden influx of ideas. It was rare that he had this many ideas at once, and even rarer so that they were all about mostly the same thing. Roman grabbed a water bottle that was sitting nearby, chugging half of the available liquid before grabbing his pencil. Upon further inspection on the page, there was also a few gems like “If you were in my mind, some scary things you would find (yes that rhymes score)” and “If only 2x or 4x (or something x).”

After Roman got all of the lyrics squared away, he put the book down flat in front of him. It was always easier to start out with lyrics, then add a chord progression, then work out the melody. At least, it was to Roman. Some would disagree, but they weren’t the ones writing songs all by themself getting into the Top 20 Hits. Momentary peddiness aside, Roman now had his ‘67 C-O-Classic Gibson guitar resting on his leg. He took a moment to run his left hand up and down the neck, then his right over the face of the body of the guitar. It was his grandfather’s guitar, the one he learned to play on by the same man before he died. The label tried to get him to play a different guitar, a newer one with “better sound,” but he couldn’t give up the sentimental value of this one. Especially with the emotion fueled lyrics of this one, Roman needed a guitar that he knew better than the back of his hand. Roman knew and understood this guitar better than he understood himself, and playing it brought emotions he harbored to the surface for him to handle. This guitar had gotten him through a lot, and it would get him through this night as well.

Roman started out with strumming a few simple chords, changing the order of three different ones, adding a fourth, removing two, and just generally playing around with chords until he found a good sound. Eventually, after he started fiddling with a good picking pattern, he narrowed it down to three combinations. While playing the different options, he sang the “If only” bridge that he wrote into the song. He tested the waters with a few different tunes and combinations for a while. Before he could comprehend it, the sun was set and he had a solid picking pattern and chord progression. He could hear his grandfather saying that technically the chords weren’t actually chords because he wasn’t playing all of the strings. A sentimental smile tugged on Roman’s expression of concentration, but he shook it away quickly in favor of attempting to sing over the song.

Surprisingly, Roman was able to get through the song he just wrote with few complications. He stumbled a few times, and stuttered on the lyrics occasionally, but it was overall a good first try. After, he tried again, making the wobbly parts in singing more and more stable. He was proud of himself for that, as sometimes there could be parts where he couldn’t get down until the fifth or sixth try. Luckily for Roman as of right now, the song which he was mentally calling Physic was an easy one to play and sing. Roman never said that the song he would be posting was a difficult one, but then again, he didn’t realise that it would be this emotionally powered.

As Roman placed his guitar steadily on the ground again, he pondered what the lyrics actually meant. While he attempted to balance himself on numb jelly legs, he went line by line and evaluated what he meant by each. It was clear to him as he grabbed his camera equipment that this song was obviously about Virgil. It was so clear that it was painful. There wasn’t any cleverly masked words or heavy emotions only hinted at in a word or two. This song was putting himself out in the open, bare and stripped of all the fancy editing that the studio does. This song would be a plea for help, a cry for someone to come and tell him that everything will be alright. It was a question, a desperate ask for Virgil to let him explain. If the dark and lovely one didn’t let him after this, then maybe all that time with Anx actually was a waste. And Roman desperately didn’t want it to be.

The Prince set up the camera and it’s microphone quickly and experienced, ready to make the worst–or best–decision of his lifetime.

next part

#fail’s writing #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides #ivity and anx #patton angst #i guess?#uhhhh anything else?#logan is at collage now my dudes #its the summer #i did that time jump #i think it was pretty smooth #so yeah thats a thing

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fantroll-purgatory · 6 years

Text

I think I might have submitted this troll a really long time ago, so this is a re-do I suppose.

Alternia or Beforus or some type of AU?

Alternia

Name (preferably include how you came up with it and why): Hemati Aurata or Hemati Grotei

‘Hemati’ comes from hematite, the reddish-blackish main ore of iron that’s known for having a rusty red streak. This is in reference to both his blood color (rust) as well as his interesting in blacksmithing and sculpting out of iron.

‘Aurata’ is the species name of a moth of the genus Pyrausta. ‘Grotei’ is another species, I wasn’t sure which one would fit better. Slightly based off how moths are famously attracted to flames. Hemati’s lusus is a Pyrausta, which is a Greek mythical dragon that is basically a small winged insect with the head of a dragon. They die if they are taken away from fire and tie in with Hemati’s associated element of fire.

This is a really clever and suiting name! I prefer Aurata, I think, for the wing coloration of the Aurata Moth. Hemati Aurata.

Age: 8 sweeps (~17 years old)

I’m unsure exactly how old a troll is before they’re taken off-planet, but I’m assuming it’s close to human adult age (18 years). I wanted him to be slightly younger than mature age but older than the canon trolls.

We don’t know for sure, but I definitely subscribe to the headcanon that it’s around 18 or more.

Strife Specibus: pickaxekind or hammerkind

He can probably have both, since there’s a functional reason for them!

Fetch Modus: Minecraft modus? I’m unsure what sort of name to give it but it would be funny for him to have his modus match the Minecraft inventory. Maybe he could be able to “craft” things like you can in Minecraft’s inventory, bypassing the need for alchemy at the price of a limited grid to work with as well as a lot of wasted items, as the craft grid isn’t very efficient.\

Maybe Furnace Modus? Leaving items in allows them to ‘smelt’ into a more refined or better form, but doesn’t allow Direct alchemization within the menu. But you have to keep the items in until they’re finished being refined, which can take a really long time depending on the item.

Blood color: Burgundy/Rust

Symbol and meaning: Argo, the Zenith

Self explanatory. Hemati lives in a mountain/inactive volcano and his emotion often have to reach a peak before they explode out of control.

Trolltag: fabrileEbullition

This is kind of a joke about how he does his art. He is a skilled craftsman but gets angry easily and goes through fits of rage and frustration that aggravates his pyrokinesis. This often results in his metal sculptures melting through the sudden spurts of flame. Although he would personally consider the “ebullition” part to be ‘bursts of emotion’ that inspire his art, it’s more suited to his ill-temper. The name also abbreviates to FE, which is the symbol for the chemical element of iron.

Do you mean ferbrile? Or was fabrile a portmanteau of fabrication and ferbrile? Either way I like it a lot!

Quirk: He usually speaks in a grumble in Order tO suppress His Feelings, but uses prOper punctuatiOn in Order tO remain pOlite but prOperly capitalizes tHe names Of OtHers. He capitalizes tHe f in ‘Fe’, all O’s and all H’s as tHey are used in tHe cHemical cOmpOund Of rust, wHicH empHasizes His blOOd cOlOr. !!TYPES IN ALL CAPS AND IGNoRES PUNCTUATIoN WhEN EMoTIoNAL To RANT!! !!DRoPS ThE PoLITE BULLShIT!! !!No LoNGER fEARS RUDENESS AND TRIES To DoWNPLAY hIS SPoT oN ThE hEMoSPECTRUM!!

Normal speaking = all lowercase except Fe, O, H and names capitalized, proper punctuation

Emotional speaking = !! at start and end of sentences, all caps, no other punctuation, lowercases Fe, O and H

Good, clever, and effective.

Special Abilities (if any): Aside from general telekinetics (which he isn’t great at), Hemati possesses strong pyrokinetic powers. He is not totally in touch with his powers and they tend to flare out of control depending on his emotional state. He is NOT immune to fire but can manipulate fire to avoid coming into contact with him, having something akin to a closeknit barrier separating his skin from the flames. This is done instinctively, so it allows him to not be as careful when he’s smithing, although he still wears gloves as he can’t protect himself from the heat of objects he touches.

I like that a lot. A Literal Hothead.

Lusus: A tiny Pyrausta who is constantly on fire (as described above). He is quite fond of his lusus although he is unable actually touch it. It feeds off metal so Hemati reserves some scraps for it to munch on although it sometimes indulges in his art. Hemati can hardly stay mad at the little bugger so it gets away with it. It acts kind of like a cat and spends its time napping or being a cute annoyance. It 'helps’ Hemati out by breathing fire every now and then, which is why half the things in his hive are scorched. It also can serve as a lantern when he goes mining or a portable furnace for smelting, if it doesn’t eat the metal first.

Cute… It’s especially great because of the fact that there’s a moth genus named after the Pyrausta. Does it have moth eyes, too? I love the idea of this creature… cute and helpful but mildly inconvenient.

Personality: Hot-headed but tries his best. Hemati is quick to anger but honestly is quick to get lost in any emotion and can get carried away. He’s an intense fellow and might be hard for most people to handle. His greatest passion is art and fashion, and takes great pleasure in making all sorts of gear, clothing and accessories, as well as his strange sculptures. His art isn’t exactly pretty and look like someone threw some metal bits together and then went a little crazy with a blowtorch. Despite this, he is immensely proud of his creations and doesn’t take criticism well. Maybe YOU don’t get it. His enthusiasm can be very infectious and he gets others excited easily. He might railroad them during a conversation, but is quick to talk up someone who is being overly modest. He’s also quick to point out flaws or call out bullshit, although he often has to keep this to himself to avoid being culled.

He is a lowblood and such luxuries are not permitted for him, he often gives what he makes to his friends and keeps his hive relatively sparse, surrounding himself with the unfinished scrap. He dresses pretty modestly. His giving nature is ultimately selfish because he can’t indulge in his own creations and wants someone to appreciate them. Despite his interests, he tries to adhere to the hemospectrum the best he can. He knows that what he loves is wrong and that he will eventually be forced into a life of servitude, so he is often burdened by pessimism, frustration and self deprecation. He tries to keep his hive neat but due to his outbursts it frequently flip flops between extremely organized and terribly messy.

He was extremely close with his former moirail, a very patient but stressed out oliveblood, but he began developing flushed feelings for them which were not reciprocated. He fell HARD for them, so although their moirallegiance was highly beneficial to them both, he would rather have them be matesprits. So he broke things off with them. His tantrums were more manageable in the past with their help but he has gotten more out of control now that they split, although they do sometimes regress into pale flirting with one another. He tends to be clingy in his relationships and doesn’t really get the idea of “personal space” but cares very deeply for who he falls for. Hemati is just very selfish but also very devoted, but can easily become jealous. He is especially not fond of his ex-moirail’s red crush, a quiet ceruleanblood. He forcibly pulled them into the ashen quadrant, with his ex-moirail moderating, to keep them from staying flushed. He’s a jerk like that.

Honestly I love this level of character development. He has a lot of neat traits, and has lots of interesting character flaws that make him a very fascinating character. Someone who is liable to explode and who does not consider others as much as he should… I love his creativity and his uniqueness, too. I don’t really have anything to add here!

Interests: Smithing, mining, smelting, salvaging, sculpting, art, fashion

His hive is located within a mountain (an inactive volcano), so he often goes mining for ore veins to fuel his craft or might dig around the suburbs for scrap metal for his artistic endeavors. He provides jewelry and outfits for his black crush, a pushy violetblood, but also made himself and his ex-moirail matching bracelets. He still wears his bracelet although his moirail stopped wearing theirs.

Ooh. So is he actually interested in fashion or is he interested in jewelry-making, because you mention that he dresses pretty simply… Is it that he’d LIKE to dress fancy but doesn’t have access to the resources he needs? Or is it that he’s interested in the creation of accessories but doesn’t care much for wearing them himself?

Title: Prince (?) of Space

I’ve struggled to figure out exactly what class Hemati fits the most, but I definitely want him to be a Space player. I considered Knight as he quite literally protects himself with space, like through his psychic barrier against fire. He also forges weapons and armor that can be used for self defense. Page was also a possibility as he has growing potential to utilize his psychic powers effectively and is currently unskilled with them. Prince is also a possibility as he creates through his destructive outbursts and has the Princely struggles of self loathing and self absorption.

Firstly, I think Space is a beautiful assignment for him because of how well it contrasts his character and how much it can teach him. Space is a lot of patience- we see this with Jade’s need to be patient on the meteor and all the waiting she’s forced to do, and Kanaya’s need for patience with the breeding of the frog, and Calliope’s need for patience in executing her plan. So it would be an aspect that would require him to work on himself and learn to appreciate the journey and not the goal, and would teach him to simmer down and pick his fights, and would require him to learn to rebuild beautiful things instead of making a mess of them out of stubbornness…

If I were to pick a title, I might actually… pick Maid of Space? If you don’t mind breaking a canon rule. Because of his need to actively create this space for himself, to encourage this kind of movement of growth, as well as the literal creation of space he makes for himself… The inverse is Bard of Time, which would require the passive destruction of time and through time, implying his destructive nature that he needs to keep in check.

You could probably also do Heir of Space? To imply a need for him to be capable of flexibility and change and to passively create a change in this for everyone. Inverse is Mage of Time, so he’d have to understand his own future and desire to fight…

Land: Land of Scrap and Frogs (LoSaF)

Hemati likes to reinvent by taking discarded bits of metal (scrap) and turning it into something new. I imagine that it would be a planet covered in heaps of scrap metal, piled as high as the eye can see. It would likely be hard to traverse due to all the sharp and pointy bits. Stoking the Forge would melt the metal so that it can be reshaped into a more usable form.

Maybe Land of Debris and Frogs (LoDaF). It could still be scrapcovered, but I think putting scrap Right in the name might be a little too obvious. It could also imply some kind of destruction, like as though the planet’s endured ruin before and needs to be rebuilt, playing into his space theme. He could need to utilize the scrapped metal to build a Frog Pen where he can raise healthy baby frogs.

Dream Planet: Prospit

Dreamers are a little hard for me to understand. Hemati tries to stay true to the status quo but harbors desires that don’t exactly fit the mold. However, he doesn’t really fight for what he believes in and mostly tries to enjoy himself while he can. He tends to trust people at face value and although he tries to suppress his own feelings, he isn’t very good at it. Nor is he good at hiding his intentions.

I think this is VERY fitting for prospit, almost a picture-perfect prospit dreamer, really. Good pick!

I wish I had either art skills or spriting skills to make Hemati but I trust you guys to do him justice. I hope I was able to flesh out what kind of person he is!

You fleshed him out wonderfully! And I will try to do him justice. Here we go!:

Horns: I made them reflect his symbol. I also put the friendship bracelet on there. I know that we don’t see rusts wear anything on their horns and that horn accessories are exceedingly common, but I figure it’s such an important element to his character that it should be featured somewhere prominent and that will always be on screen. I also feel like it wouldn’t wear it on his hands- there’s too much of a risk for it to get melted or distorted by the furnace. So horn it is.

Hair: I made it look like a really messy fire! Fun times.

Eyes: Angry spikey eyebrows and some grumpy eyes, loosely based off Karkat’s.

Mouth: Very frowny, with nubby rustblood teeth.

Outfit: Really simple dark apron with his symbol on it and some steel-toed boots. The boot base was taken from fan-troll.

Thank you for sharing him!

-CD

#zeysir #hemati aurata #hemati #aurata #rustblood #maroonblood #review #redesign #cd review #submission

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coxinyoface · 6 years

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i usually don’t do this but it’s 4am, i’m cramping/anemic/generally in pain and out of it, i’m procrastinating, and it’s been like. probably 2 years since the last time i did one of these? so why not since i have new followers after my acpc obsession! (the reason why not is... i write too much, sorry. a couple others have tagged me recently with similar questions and i stopped myself but hey i’ll let it go this time and try to be social)

i’m not sure who else to tag. i see the top three ppl i recognize often in my notifications lately are @lonelylittlewarlock @betumbledpolaritis @lavender-aquarius so how ‘bout you guys? feel free to ignore if you’re not up for it tho

anyway:

Get to know me tag! got tagged by @sundaycrossing and @lilcasshole

Nickname: on this account most people just call me CIYF and that’s fine. i haven’t had a proper nickname in a long time and i try to keep this acc separate because. coxinyoface is not the best name to reference offline or with work/art stuff lmao.

Gender: nonbinary. they/them preferred.

Starsign: taurus.

Height: 5′3″/1.6m-ish? i’m short and fat and friendshaped i like to think.

Hogwarts house: ravenclaw or hufflepuff. when i was little i’d insist ravenclaw bc i’m a nerd who tried to persuade themselves they like school, but i’m likely hufflepuff bc i try too hard n am painfully stupidly loyal. idk. hp house discourse frustrates me.

Favorite animal: this changes frequently bc birds but today... potoo. potoos are often my favorite bc they could be my fuckin fursona and i relate deeply.

Favorite color: grey. stormy grey i think.

Current favorite song: зын зын by jokeasses. i found this through a random video of someone dancing in nosferatu drag to it months ago (thanks internet) and it’s still stuck. i keep switching between looping this, boogie by brockhampton, or yellow ferrari by mystery skulls. i can loop the same song for 10+ hours at a time. i do this bc i can have up to 5 songs stuck in my head at the same time and this somewhat cures that. it’s bad.

Ways to get creative: well. listening to music until my brain melts is one way. it’s easy to get creative but difficult to be productive, so i’d say just. trying to really really enjoy an activity, whether it’s reading, watching, or playing something, and trying to hold onto that feeling when i work on something. and then 4am binges of researching random shit that i can use to inspire myself later.

What do you do when you’re home alone: i’m either on tumblr, watching youtube, reading fanfic, or working on work art or art prints. acpc became a thing bc of lack of sleep and bird cult aesthetic n distraction. i’m currently stuck in a fic cycle of interest, it switches a lot. current fandom is HP (again) but i’ve gone into fic hell for naruto, opm, mcu, fucking anything that makes me hate myself. but then, i’ve also been reading a lot of bnha and some of that shit is actually so healthy and wholesome i cried. i want to get back into anime.

Average hours of sleep: hooo boy. it used to be 2 hours, consecutively, with maybe 4 total a day, while in college. i’m trying to fix that and i think i’m getting 3 hours consecutively and 5-6 total? i was doing great at some point last year and was somehow getting 5 consecutive hours up to 8 but. well. sleep’s a bitch and i have sleep paralysis and insomnia. today i managed to sleep maybe 5 consecutive and 15 total holy shit because i dreamed i had a heart attack and was dying and believed it (bc sleep paralysis)! in reality it was anemia fuckin me up today thanks google

Cats or dogs?: cats. sorry dogs, i love you but you have too much energy. besides i feel like cat people are dogs and dog people are cats, and i’ve worked very hard to earn my cats love so i’m loyal now lmao

Numbers of blankets you sleep with: i’m going to say pillows instead, because i live in a warm area and blankets are the mortal enemy. so--four. one to make sure i don’t smash into the wall, one for my head that i will never use as i slowly rotate like a flailing turtle on its back, one for my legs to make sure i don’t kick, and one to hug so i don’t punch.

Dream job: honestly my standards are so damn low i’d probably do any digital illustration/graphic design art job that (1)pays decently for my area where (2)the clients weren’t from hell and (3)i could work from home. like. i used to have specifics like ~concept art~ and shit but i had a good couple of work months (before some very bad ones) where one really good nonprofit client made me realize i genuinely don’t give a fuck what i do so long as it genuinely helps someone/somepeople and also helps me exist.

Dream trip: i. don’t actually want to travel much. tbh, i did japan, korea, and the philippines in one week somehow, and it killed my interest in traveling due to over-planning. if i could go back in time and do it again, maybe i’d spend more time chilling in japan? i just want lipton milk tea in those lil cartons. why can’t they make those here. and omurice. and katsu. and... ok i’d travel to japan again just for food fuck it.

Sexuality: It’s Complicated but for simplification, grey ace. i say aro-ace but go back and forth using that label because it’s useful but i can’t tell if i’m aro or just too anxious to function bc i feel like i’m somehow tricking people if they like me, and have no idea what i find attractive in the weird range of people i’ve been attracted to or to what degree i am attracted. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ tbh, QPRs seem way more appealing to me because i’m just that kinda grey gay. none of this matters unless i maintain a healthier lifestyle that isn’t a hot mess or somehow get the fuck over myself tho. idk one day i’ll be more socially active again.

When did you make this account?: shit, like... 6 years ago i think? oof. a lot changes over six years. if i wasn’t lazy i’d make a new shitpost account so i could pretend to forget what an ass i was but i can’t even separate most of my interests by blog.

Number of followers: 3,050, around. it hovers back and forth due to i assume bots and ppl getting very confused. those of u here for youtubes, thanks for sticking around all these years and i’m sorry; those of u here for acpc, i’m sorry and hope you enjoy me being really mad abt acpc. i have no idea how accurate follower count really is, though; apparently my highest activity was back in 2015 and i had less than 2k then i think? fuck if i understand tumblr

anyway if you’ve somehow read through all of that thanks for listening to the ramblings of a madman hopped up on pain at 6am you’re a champ and this random online stranger loves you and wishes you a good day

#coxtalk #god this is genuinely so long looking at it i'm sorry i should never talk abt myself lmao

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brianna-lei · 7 years

Text

Butterfly Soup Asks #16

This time including the squad as DnD characters, Liz facts, Noelle getting her yaoi education, and more

I’ve only played Dungeons & Dragons once (1) in my life so I’m no expert! I’d consider my thoughts suggestions (like with my takes on the charaters’ MBTI types, which I’m not an expert of either):

Noelle as a Wizard sounds right, since she definitely can’t do anything reliant on physical strength. She would be an asshole and attempt things like building a Clone Army

AKARSHA THE BARD. Rogue sounds too cool for her

Diya: I actually want to say she’s a Ranger because the Wiki on 5th edition says “The Beast Master archetype forges a connection between civilization and beasts, allowing the character to interact with animals in certain ways including gaining an animal companion to control.“ Fighter and Knight also sound plausible though!

Min: Barbarian with high Strength and no Intelligence and Wisdom

I don’t want to say too much because I want to save things for the sequel, but here’s some stuff:

She actually played against Diya in youth leagues before she transitioned. That’s why she recognizes Diya+specifically approached her to sign the baseball club form while Diya doesn’t recognize her. At the first club meeting Liz tells her “I was at one of your games when you were little” -- This is purposefully ambiguous/misleading (sounds like Liz was just watching) because she passes and doesn’t want to out herself to a bunch of club members she doesn’t know well

After transitioning she quit baseball and switched to softball. It was weird being the one trans girl on a team of cis dudes, and additionally when she was younger she sort of felt like she had to prove she was a girl; she naturally has feminine taste, but she’d overperform it by 25%. It wasn’t until she got close to Chryssa and found out she also liked baseball that she reclaimed her interest in it

She has a nice resting face so strangers tend to ask her for directions

Sunburns easily

Yesss check the FAQ guys! Fangames are fine as long as you explicitly say it’s a fangame!!

I’m almost mad I didn’t think of this myself. I’m one of those people who overuses “spoopy”

All art in the game (including the title screen) can be downloaded here!

NO!!!

Noelle. The day the others find out will be the End of her

Akarsha was reading some yaoi so it came up in conversation, and since Noelle had never heard of it Akarsha gleefully educated her (to Noelle’s horror). Noelle was extremely scandalized that Akarsha kept sending her inappropriate images, and Akarsha was like “i’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart! it’s for ur education!! me: Master Teacher. call me sensei”

Following this Akarsha changed her chat name to YAOI SEME as seen at the beginning of the game

Diya and Noelle: Never tried it

Min: Has tried it

Akarsha: She constantly makes weed jokes but actually only does it rarely

Yes, I’m planning on exploring this more in the sequel!

Diya; Dee-ya. Rhymes with “See ya”

Min-seo: Korean way, but most characters like Diya pronounce it like Min-so, with the “Min” rhyming with “win” (not like “mean”). The “so” is one syllable (not like “see oh”)

Akarsha: uh-KAR-sha

Noelle: No L

I was planning on making the sprites blink! I’m still a bit sad I didn’t end up doing it

It’s supposed to be fall 2008 when they’re in high school, but I took a LOT of artistic liberties when it came to the references. For example, Akarsha makes a Durarara reference even though the anime didn’t come out until 2010, and there’s a lot of modern memes that ended up in there too...I couldn’t hold back...

The IGF trailer video is especially modern-day meme-wise -- since it broke the 4th wall, it was like, all bets are off. Don’t think too hard about it!

I wanted to put a lot of 90s and early 00s hits in the game for the nostalgia factor, like Complicated, Rock Your Body, Dilemma, etc. I think it would’ve made the experience even more surreal for players who are around my age!

I don’t own the rights to all the music so I can’t distribute it around for people to download! Here’s where you can find everything:

Thought Projection by Ketsa

Holding Your Breath by Ketsa

Thoughts of You by Ketsa

2011-13 by Ketsa

Miyauchi Yuri/110515 (miltata remix) by Miltata

Night Tourist by Miltata

Sound413_Images(short) by Miltata

Sound429_Floating Cloud (draft) by Miltata

Side by Side by Miltata

Blooming by Miltata

Romaras by Miltata

Little Circle by Miltata

Daydream by Miltata

Calling Project 2 by .que

Flame of Love by YOSHI

Valar Morghulis by Bloodgod

Overflowing by Tatsuya Kato

My Heart Will Go On - Recorder By Candlelight by Matt Mulholland

At one point Diya finds out what it means on her own. After she finds out, she uses it for the actual meaning :) (added this to the FAQ now)

I can totally relate to all of them, but I’d say Diya! (added this to the FAQ now)

that sounds a bit alarming

(I added this to the FAQ page now, thanks for reminding me) I’m fine with people shipping whatever!! The only thing I can think of that’d make me uncomfortable is incest and shipping Diya and Min with male characters – other than that, go nuts

Oh noo im sorry, that must’ve been stressful! For those who don’t know, I chatted about my game for a few minutes last week with MEGA (a USC club I used to be in!). I’ve adapted them here with what I assume what the questions were:

1. Is that your cat on your Skype icon?

yeah it is!! it's burrito

(people think it’s a cute name)

LOL glad you guys approve

2. Was the game made in Renpy? What do you think of Renpy vs. Twine?

yep! it's made in renpy! I actually started out in twine -- twine is impossible if your game is like longer than an hour and is image heavy. the engine started lagging so bad it would take 30 secs to do anything

2. Would you eat a tiny 2 inch man for $100 million?

LOL it's hard..it's a lot of money. I don't think I would

(but you could use that money to save many more lives! utilitarianism)

it's a real dude tho! i'd feel awful for him haha it's hard when you have to physically do it LOL

3. How long did it take for you to make Butterfly Soup?

FOREVER. I thought of it in my junior year over winter break

4. Was it for school (like an assignment)?

nah! just on my own

(people saying that’s impressive)

yeah!! self motivation

5. What’s your favorite part of the game?

hmmmmM I like the "date" with min in the dream. it's so fun, with the dog park

6. Which character do you relate to the most?

diya!! social anxiety queen, so relatable

(people comment on how she runs around when anxious)

i really did that before my sat once, ran 2 miles at the school's track

7. Are you from the San Francisco Bay Area

yeah i'm from the bay! east bay

8. Which year did you first come up with Butterfly Soup?

winter 2014 i think

(people trying to calculate which year was my junior year)

i graduated a year early so junior year was also senior year

9. Are you making a sequel?

yes!! once ihave more time. i have a lot of ideas for stuff that goes after

10. Was this a prequel to Pom Gets Wi-Fi? Or maybe spiritual successor?

this is a prequel. i dunno about spiritual successor tho, they're a bit differnt

11. Any tips on how to balance schoolwork and working on personal projects?

hmm...i honestly sucked at this and could only work on it on breaks lol...if you can try to work it into your school projects, like some bit of it...

other than that i cant think of anything LOL it's hard

12. How did you organize yourself making such a long game? Any tips?

it was SUPER hard to organize, i was really lost until i split it into 4 sections with each character. so if you're planning on making a game this big definitely think about forcing yourself into sections like that

the art was the most confusing to do bc of how many assets there were. i was going to say "have consistent naming conventions" but that's literally impossible LOL it'll always become inconsistent no matter how hard u try

13. What part of the game took the longest (writing? art?)

writing, actually, despite how much i complain about art assets. it's really hard making sure the structure and themes come across correctly. like pacing is so hard. art is like #2 biggest time sink

14. How early in did you write the Akarsha/Min skateboard scene?

that came pretty late haha i put it in at last second

15. Are the characters based on real people?

they're all inspired by combinations of ppl i know! i wouldn't say based on them, tho. for example min is like a combination of 3 friends i have, strategically arranged to play her part in the story

character design is design so u still gotta be deliberate about it

16. Who’s the other cat on the computer? (they’re referring to the cat on my desktop wallpaper)

that one's maru! he's a famous japaense cat. he's super photogenic

(people speculating that he’s the “tube one”)

the tube one? probably. he's famous for going into stuff

17. What was your favorite aspect of working on the game?

definitely getting to put specific Asian-American experiences into it

i was like HAHOH i can do this and no one can stop me! it was really fun getting to do this without any creative direction from like, a studio or anything. so i could just go bonkers. i hate pitching stuff so

18. Any writing advice?

definitely have other people beta your writing as soon as possible! they always catch stuff you missed. also this is like a cheat, make your characters really extreme. like find one aspect of yourself, and turn it up to 11 and make it into a character. that way they'll be relatable and memorable at the same time. i think most people don't make their characters extreme enough so they're all kinda samey

19. (I can’t remember what they asked me here, sorry! They were asking if a specific meme was in the game)

LMAO nah it's not. i did briefly think about it though, i will admit

20. Would you eat a Gusher the size of your hand?

that would be pretty cool. i don't think i could eat it all at once tho...i would try to save it. like half

You’re welcome, I’m really happy to hear it helped the game feel relatable!!

Thank you! I hope you have a good day too!!

haha I feel like my game is almost propaganda bc so many people wish they had girlfriends after playing it! the agenda...Thank you for waiting for the sequel, it makes me super happy to hear people are looking forward to it!

You’re welcome!! I’ll do my best!!!

You’re welcome!!!! :>

You’re welcome!!!

same I’m really happy so many people find them relatable! you’re welcome!!

You’re welcome!! my kids can never get enough love im very happy

I’m glad you liked it! Thanks for the support! TT_TT

#briANSWER #ask #my post #Butterfly Soup #socialpoison

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raendown · 6 years

Link

I took creative liberties with “Madara’s robes” but how could I not write something so adorable?

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 1708 Summary: Everyone loves a good fireside nap on a cold winter evening.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

I Made A Blanket Of Your Heart

Fat wet snowflakes followed him inside as Madara hurried in to the split level home he rented with his best friend. Several weeks of apartment hunting had convinced them that living in a building with dozens of other families would drive the both of them mad in no time; the solution had been to rent the lower floor of a surprisingly spacious home. Upstairs was rented by a quiet old man they rarely ever saw and almost never heard. They had been living together for several years now, ever since they both graduated university, and Madara was honestly surprised by how well the arrangement worked out for the two of them.

Except for when that harpy Mito came to visit, of course. That woman was a force of nature and somehow he always ended up cleaning his room when she was here. Which was stupid! He was a grown man and it wasn’t as though she spent any time in his room.

Today, thankfully, there were no signs of Mito as he stomped the snow off of his boots, only the merry sounds of a crackling fire coming from the living room. Chilled to the bone after the long walk home from work, Madara headed straight for the living room towards the promise of warmth. Maybe he could talk Hashirama in to making him some tea as he wrapped himself up in his favorite couch blanket.

“Hey!” Hashirama’s voice hailed him quietly from the kitchen, pausing his steps. “You’re home early.”

“Why are you whispering like that?”

“Brother’s asleep in the living room.”

Madara sighed, shoulders slumping with exasperation. He may have escaped the hurricane of Mito but apparently it was at the sacrifice of subjecting himself to Tobirama’s presence for an evening instead. It wasn’t that he had any major problems with the younger man – well, not anymore. There had been quite a bit of friction between them when they were all younger and Tobirama had been arch enemy to Madara’s younger brother, forever a grade higher in every class.

Although Tobirama appeared to be under the impression that Madara still hated him, his exasperation stemmed from the fact that the exact opposite was now true. Over the years his childish hatred had flipped entirely on its head and he’d woken up one day to the horrifying realization that he was irrevocably in love with his best friend’s little brother. Making a move had never even crossed his mind. It wasn’t like Tobirama would ever give him the time of day if he tried. Now he looked forward to every visit with dread, knowing he would spend the evening stumbling over his words and generally making a complete ass of himself.

He gave some thought to hiding in his room until dinner but decided against it. If Tobirama was asleep on the couch Madara could still go through with his tea and blanket plan; he’d just have to curl up in the big arm chair instead. Mentally giving himself a quick pep talk, he whirled about and left the kitchen, marching determinedly towards the living room.

And then he stopped dead once again only halfway to his intended destination. Tobirama wasn’t asleep on the couch. He was curled up on the floor in front of the fire in a nest that appeared to be made out of the very blanket Madara had been looking forward to wrapping around his own shoulders. More than anything he looked like a cat that had staked out the warmest spot in the house for nap time. And adorable; he also looked adorable.

Madara’s heart clenched and he gave off an oddly broken noise as he backed out of the room, returning to the kitchen to give Hashirama a helpless look. His traitor of a best friend only laughed at him.

“I know, isn’t he cute?” Hashirama exclaimed, clutching both hands to his chest. “He said the blanket smelled nice. I left him alone for two minutes and when I came back I found him just like that, fast asleep.”

“Nnngggg.” Madara whimpered. “He’s trying to kill me, I know he is. It’s all deliberate.”

“Maybe if you actually listened to me and asked him out…!” Hashirama taunted him in a sing-song voice.

“Shut up! You know why I won’t!”

“Oh come on, you guys would be so cute together!”

“Just because I happen to agree with you there doesn’t mean he does.” Madara crossed his arms and pouted. “So just shut up about it already. And make me some tea for all the suffering I have to live with because of all the strays you keep dragging in here.”

Hashirama laughed at him again but he did reach for the kettle so Madara figured he’d won this round, even if just by a small margin.

A few minutes later, tea in hand, he returned to the living room and defiantly staked out his favorite spot on the couch. He’d been looking forward to relaxing here since halfway through the day and he’d be damned if something like a stupid crush on a stupid grumpy Senju was going to keep him from that pleasure. Settling for wrapping himself up in the blanket Hashirama usually used, Madara plucked the book he had been reading up off the coffee table and hunkered down for a little much-deserved relaxation.

If one were to observe him, one would see the way his eyes didn’t quite stay put on the pages in front of him. Every few minutes or so his gaze would sneak up to take just one more peek at the man curled up by fire, peacefully snoozing like a contented kitten, and imagine what it would be like to curl himself around that lithe body. The very thought of it heated his insides until he squirmed in his seat and returned to reading until a few minutes later when he could no longer resist just one more look.

Despite the way his eyes drooped and his body slowly melted in to the corner of the couch, Madara never even noticed that he was falling asleep until he was woken up again some time later. Hashirama’s voiced hailed him from the kitchen, announcing that dinner was ready, and he failed to respond as he was too busy swimming back up from the grips of a rather pleasant dream.

“We’ll be there in a minute,” a groggy voice responded for him. Strangely, it sounded as though that voice had come from somewhere down in his lap.

Blinking his eyes back open, Madara winced at the crick in his neck from having dropped his head back at an odd angle when he fell asleep. As he scanned the room he noticed absently that Tobirama was no longer napping by the fire but didn’t think much of it. Most likely he was in the kitchen sitting down to dinner with his brother, probably grateful that he hadn’t had to interact with Madara at all yet today. Still trying to force himself to wake up a bit more, he finally looked down at his lap to investigate where that familiar sounding voice had come from.

Tobirama blinked back up at him from where his head was pillowed against Madara’s thigh, the blanket he had been sleeping on before now draped over both of them. As the older man stiffened and gaped at him in shock, Tobirama stretched his jaw in a wide yawn.

“Apparently he made gyudon. You like gyudon, don’t you?”

“How in the seven hells do you know that?” Madara choked. “No, scratch that. What are you–?” His sentence cut off before he could even finish it, unable to articulate any of the multiple questions rolling through his mind. They were all jumbled together until all he could think was what the hell?

“Anija says the reason you won’t ask me out is because you think I hate you or some such nonsense. Since you didn’t seem to understanding any of the flirting no matter how unsubtle I tried to be, I thought perhaps this would be an easier clue for you.” Slowly stretching the rest of his body out and rolling on to his back, Tobirama smirked. “Am I being obvious enough now?”

Madara spluttered, trying to wrestle his brain cells together enough to give an actual response and failing miserably. It took nearly a full minute and all he managed to get out was, “What!?”

“Clearly tonight isn’t a good time – it would rude to ignore all the hard work Anija put in to dinner – but I expect you pick me up at seven o’clock tomorrow. If you’re late I won’t let you kiss me goodnight.”

Without waiting for an answer Tobirama rolled himself upright and stood from the couch, heading towards the kitchen. He tossed one last wink over his shoulder as he exited the room and Madara felt his heart skip a beat or two. Had that really just happened? If this all turned out to be a wild hallucination of some sort he was going to bash his head against the wall with disappointment.

Hashirama’s voice called out to him again, asking why he was taking so long, and Madara shook off his reverie. Feeling oddly light and giddy, he scrambled off the couch to go join to other two for dinner. As his head finally settled down enough to think in a coherent manner he immediately began to plan for tomorrow night. Everything had to be perfect, of course. He had been waiting for this for too long for it to be anything but and there was no way in hell that he was going to disappoint Tobirama on the first date after waiting so long just to get one.

Sliding in to the seat next to Tobirama, their thighs pressing together and their fingers brushing under the table, Madara felt a shiver of excitement going through him as it finally hit him that this really was happening. The one he’d been pining over for years now actually returned his feelings; they had a date! Outside their little home snow continued to fall, covering the world in a blanket of quiet cold, but inside Madara had never felt so warm.

#rae writes #madatobi #madara #tobirama #hashirama #fanfiction #naruto shippuden

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granpris · 7 years

Text

Please listen for once.

Hello, I'm Granpris. I'm known as the current leader of Team Switched and the TS:Underswap project on Gamejolt. For several days drama has been going on on Tumblr, Gamejolt and wherever.

I'm quite sick of it having it cause me to become very ill recently and stressed, my team alike, due to the amount of false accusations and attacks directed towards me and my team.

I'm here today to debunk several popular claims and accusations that have been made towards our team, and hopefully end this mess. Please do not see this as an attack. I simply want to debunk some claims, as I’ve previously stated, and get my thoughts out there.

Before moving on to read my own post i highly recommend checking out the following posts as well for they also contain vital information and are a bit less opinionated than mine:

http://megaderping.tumblr.com/post/165903415711/regarding-the-drama-over-team-switched https://emeraldheck.tumblr.com/post/165910458062/hey-everyone-i-know-this-isnt-what-you-would https://gamejolt.com/games/undertale-underswap/160094/devlog/the-sans-dillema-jiagyb7p https://gamejolt.com/games/primus-underfell-official/249907/devlog/regarding-the-recent-team-switched-drama-mc9frvdb

- "You have/had a GoFundMe and have been scamming us for a year!"

No.

Back when the team was first founded, some members expressed wanting to put up a crowdfunding for the game, one having made a private page for it even. However, this was taken down, as it went against fangame policies. The same person later tried to get funding through Steam gifts, as receiving money directly wasn't allowed. However, none of this was ever shared with the team, and this member was booted off of the team. This project is free, and will always be free, no matter what. If we had a GoFundMe, Ko-fi, Kickstarter or anything of the sort, we would have likely been taken down ages ago, and we would have been called out for this way earlier. Long time fans can confirm we have not had any form of a crowdfunder.

- "This isn't Underswap! You're falsely advertising your game!"

Also no.

Underswap is a community owned AU now, meaning it has no set-in-stone owner and thus, everyone can do with it what they want. Not everyone has to stick with what has been introduced, and this was the case even before the original creators abandoned the AU.

The original creators had always encouraged different interpretations of the AU, even ones where personalities do not swap like with our project (As is clearly evident here). (I recommend right about now checking out Megaderping/Dorked’s post i linked earlier if you haven’t for it adds to what follows after this sentence.)

And that's what it is! AN INTERPRETATION! I think this is something a lot of people misunderstand; it isn't meant to replace Underswap, or Blueberry, or Carrot, or anyone! This is just how we would've tackled the Underswap AU, using the base concept of characters having their roles swapped. If you don't like it, that's totally fine! If you don't like our designs, that's fine too! However, what isn't fine is making hate art, rant posts, and launching attacks and campaigns at us, all because we do not obey your every whim and make what YOU think our game should be, rather than allowing us to have the creative freedom this fandom has been given as well.

We have been very transparent about our project for well over a year now, having stated numerous times what our intentions are. We aren't doing personality swaps, we aren't going to have Sans be a sugar rushed childlike character wanting to be in the Royal Guard, nor will we have Papyrus be a lazy, honey chugging smoker, we won't have any of that. It isn't true to the characters so many of you and us fell in love with, and robs them of their character. We find it more interesting working with characters who retain their personalities in different scenarios rather than personality swapped characters who you can expect to just respond and act the same way towards situations as the character who had the role prior would have.

I find it honestly quite offensive when people tell us this is not Underswap, and that we aren't doing things how they were meant to be, when looking at Underswap's current state in hands of the fandom, that's exactly what's been done to it now. Underswap used to have a canon, and it was disrespected with people misrepresenting the AU and its characters, primarily Sans; he was made into a super smol, star eyed, sometimes if not permanently cat mouthed character with a personality nowhere close to either Sans' or Papyrus'. There is nothing to their character besides just being and acting cute.

If you are looking at this from, let's say, a fanartist's perspective, that doesn't matter much. It's just a cute character you enjoy, right? Which is perfectly fine! However, try looking at Blueberry from the perspective of a writer, or a developer... you can not work with this. It's a flat, 1 dimensional character. They have barely any personality, and as previously stated, they're just meant to be cute. They aren't relatable or appealing at all. This is simply not something we want to work with.

I've gone on long enough here, so I'll end it off with something my co-worker and friend Kalin had to say:

We are trying to focus on making a game that tells the main story of Underswap. But let's just pretend all the unique art and music doesn't exist for a second. If we truly did it like that, we'd be telling the exact same story but all the names are switched and some objects and phrases would be switched around as well. Anything we could salvage out of that would be violating copyright of the original work, which Toby has explicitly stated before to not dis-encourage people from buying UNDERTALE, which would not only rob Toby of money, but also generally just be really disrespectful.

If you wanted Underswap to go the way it did, it would've been shut down by now.

Blueberry is only really meant to work in really short comic form or fan art. Our Sans, on the other hand, is written with more long-term stuff in mind; with the original Sans' character being placed in a different scenario, the outcome of the story can be different. Think of it like this: Would you rather have a game where you can predict everything that's going to happen, as in, Blueberry acting exactly like Papyrus, or would you rather play a game where you don't know what is going to happen?

- "One of your members used a ableist term to describe Blueberry and insult us!"

Yes, this member used an ableist term to describe Blueberry, and they are terribly sorry for it. However, he should not be the one getting hate. He showed me the message he was going to reply with containing the slur before he posted it, and I didn't point out the slur. If you have to be mad at someone, be mad at me. Do not get mad at them, and do not put my entire team in the same boat.

I, too, am sorry, for I approved the message knowing the term was used in it. It was unprofessional of me and I should have pointed it out when I could. I'm sorry for anyone offended by this.

HOWEVER.

It was never used to insult real people. The member used it to describe the current representation of Underswap or otherwise known as Blueberry Sans. No real person was meant to be targeted with the word.

- "You've been very rude to fans and have been bashing the fandom!"

Yes, this is somewhat true.

There have been occasions where some members have been kind of rude, and while I do not speak for them besides myself, we are sorry for our behaviour to some people. Working on a game for over one and a half years without any form of income and scraping for time to work on it, combined with other factors such as bad personal lives and impatient fans pushing for a demo/full release, may cause us to lash out sometimes. We're only human, after all.

As for bashing the fandom, this is also true to a degree.

Some of us, including myself, have been making several remarks towards the fandom and some of the people in it. I apologize for my part in that at least, for I can not speak for any of the others. I'm not going to try and justify my actions when it comes to this too much, but most of this originates from some things like Blueberry Sans that I've seen in the fandom and have a strong disliking towards. Yes, I apologize to the people I've possibly offended, but I shall not apologize for the bashing of any fictional AU characters and such. I am allowed an opinion on these things, and while I can be rude and extreme with this at times, which again I do apologize for to a degree, it is, nonetheless, an opinion. One of our members recently has gone a bit wild mocking several people and bothering them. I was not there when this happened as i was paying attention to our Tumblr at all times. Know, however, i do not approve what they did. I told them to stop and i hope that nothing more comes from this. I’m sorry for the long LONG post but I’ve been stressing out, throwing up, breaking down and whatnot because of this situation and needed to get my word out there. I just pray this drama can just end already because it’s not necessary at all and frankly quite petty.

#underswap #notmyswap!sans #underswap sans #blueberry #undertale #undertale au #drama

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notjustagirltattoopodcast · 4 years

Text

Not Just A Girl: Trailer Trash

You can listen to the fourth episode with Mimsy Gleeson here. Or you can view the footage of this interview on YouTube with English subtitles/closed captions here.

NOT JUST A GIRL: Tattoo Podcast

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Season 1, Episode 4: Trailer Trash

Eddy: Hello friends and welcome to Not Just A Girl, you're friendly feminist tattoo podcast. I'm Eddy and I'm back to share with you the experiences of artists whose practice is having a positive impact on tattooing. On the fourth episode, we'll be discussing painting for fun, respecting tattoo traditions and running a studio.

Before we begin, I would like to acknowledge the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people whose land was stolen and never ceded. I am honored to be on the ancestral land of the Awabakal people. I pay respect to the Elders past and present and extend my recognition to their descendants.

My guest today is someone that I have looked up to since before I even started tattooing. Um, I've loved her work and even had printouts of it on the wall above my desk. Um, her kindness, uniqueness, um, and respect for the traditions of tattooing are part of why she continues to inspire me. I have the great honor of speaking to Mimsy Gleeson today. Um, Mimsy works at her studio Trailer Trash in Brisbane. Um. Her work, as many of you would know, is probably best described as kawaii traditional. It's all bubblegum and glitter and all kinds of adorable. Um, thank you so much Mimsy for joining me today. It's so good to talk to you.

Mimsy: Hi Eddy. That was, so lovely. Thank you so much. You're amazing.

Eddy: You know, I'm one of your biggest fans.

Mimsy: I don't know what to say that was, that was really beautiful. And, um. I love your description of my style because I struggle with that myself so much. Thank you very much I'm really stoked to be here.

Eddy: Well, um, I guess to start with one of the, I guess probably most common questions, like, um, how long have you been tattooing and what did you do beforehand that led you to tattooing?

Mimsy: Ooh, yeah I struggle with this question because when I started tattooing, there was not I didn't even have a mobile phone, so I don't even know. Like I wish I had a date that I started, but basically I started working in a tattoo shop when I was 20 and I'm 43. Uh, the first year was just, you know, answering the phone and cleaning the studio. Um, so it's been over 20 years. What did I do before that? Well, I was only 20, so it wasn't a heap of time to do too much before tattooing.

Eddy: Still a baby

Mimsy: Yeah. Well, I felt like it, but I have to say, I do know a lot of people who started a lot earlier than that. So. Um, to me, I felt like that was really young to start at 20. So I really feel like I grew up in a tattoo studio. Um, but before that I tried going to uni. I studied, um, gold and silver smithing at uni. Um, yeah, at the Queensland college of art. And I really only did that because I couldn't get into the course that I wanted to do. I wanted to do fine art, um, which is just hilarious to me now because obviously that is not my jam.

Um, and I, they knew that. Um, so I, I did study a little bit at uni. Um, I didn't finish my degree. Um, uh, was partying a bit too much at that age.

Eddy: Who wants to do uni anyway?

Mimsy: Yeah, I think it would have been really valuable. I actually learnt a lot when I was there.

Eddy: That's awesome.

Mimsy: Yeah. But other than that, um, previous to that I just did odd jobs. I worked at a screen printing company, um, and I did a lot of designing for them as well for their t-shirts. Um,

Eddy: So you've always circled around creative industry, like even before you were in tattooing?

Mimsy: Well, I do a lot of like I was a checkout chick and you know, I did that, kind of worked at a sandwich bar for a couple of months. Um, but when I could, yeah. The working for the screen printing company, I think I was only 17. That was amazing because they put a lot of my designs on their t-shirts. Um, so that was, that really sparked a, um something in me I suppose. But yeah, definitely. I've always, I've always created since I was, can remember. Yeah.

Eddy: Oh that's so interesting that you worked for a screen printer cause you do so much cool merch and stuff now. Like I've got a whole bunch of your shirts at home and you're always like bringing out like interesting stuff. Like you did, um, a collaboration with a clothing label as well. Didn't you?

Mimsy: Yeah. For awhile there I did heap of stuff with Sour Puss clothing and I loved that collaboration because I love seeing my artwork on clothing, but I am not interested in marketing, marketing myself. I find that business side of things kind of boring. I just want to do the creating and then pass it to someone else. So that company was great to work for because they had the you know, they're like a worldwide company. Um, and they're so great at marketing and putting their little labels on everything. Um, so that was super fun. Yeah. I love doing that. They do dresses and shirts and shower curtains were really popular. Yes

Eddy: That's awesome.

Mimsy: That's where I knew I made it, I made it to a shower curtain.

Eddy: Your stuff lends itself so well to that rockabilly culture and that style of clothing as well. Like it's such a perfect match.

Mimsy: Yeah, I hope so. I love that style. I love that um, yeah, that sort of cheesy nineties, sort of, uh, yeah, rockabilly, psychobilly kind of style. So, yeah, it was heaps of fun.

Eddy: That's perfect. That's so good. Um, like with your kind of kawaii style that you've come to now, have you always done that or is that just something you developed over the years? Like did you always have the cute pink, bubbly, glittery kind of look in your work?

Mimsy: I probably, ah, that's a tough one. I've probably always wanted to, but never quite maybe knew how. I've always loved that style. Um, my Bible has always been a book called Hell Babies called Jun, uh, by Junko Mizuno. Um, I don't know if you've heard of it.

Eddy: No.

Mimsy: Anyway. Um, uh, yeah, I love that stuff but I also, I'm torn because I feel like that's not really taken that seriously.

So, but I love that you described my style as kawaii traditional because I really still do like to have my roots in, um, more of a traditional style as well. Um, yeah, I'm, I'm torn with that stuff, but I don't know. I don't know why I do what I do. I just, there's no thought behind it. It's all impulsive. It's just like, Oh yeah, I feel like doing this?

Eddy: That's perfect though because then it's really genuine.

Mimsy: There is no method to the madness. Honestly, every day I go for a walk and something stupid pops into my head and I'm like, Oh yeah, I've got to do this, or, yeah. Yeah, I can't, I can't stop myself once I get a silly thought in my head, I have to just do it even if it doesn't work out.

I dunno if that answered your question. Uh, it's always been an influence. Um, but yeah, like I said, I've always really admired people who could mix that kawaii traditional style, like Japanese tattooers, I suppose would be a good example. Um, someone like Sabado, back in the early two thousands, um, was doing all this epic like bodysuit work, but it was also really kawaii, like Japanese style back pieces, but it was just like a giant cat with eyelashes

Eddy: Oh my god

Mimsy: And cherry blossoms. Yeah so

Eddy: I can see traditional Japanese influence in your work, like the way that you do backgrounds and stuff like the clouds and the waves and all that.

Mimsy: I love Japanese tattooing. That's my favorite style. I don't proclaim to be able to do it or even know really hardly anything about it but to me that would be the pinnacle of tattoo style for me, is to treat the body as one canvas. And I'm just big bold work that's not necessarily anywhere near perfect, but just the overall look of a full body. Yeah. So, yeah, I love that style.

Eddy: So amazing. I love when you see um a Japanese backpiece, that's just one subject matter, but huge like a giant koi just across the whole back. It's stunning cause it's beautiful from any distance that you look at it.

Mimsy: Yeah. Yes. That would be the dream. More back pieces

Eddy: I like. I love that back piece you did. Um, that had light was it a backpiece? That's like all mermaids and like sea creatures and stuff or was it a sleeve, I can't remember now. It was like a mer. I'll find a picture.

Mimsy: I think I've done a few like that. To be honest. The idea of doing a back tattoo is terrifying at the moment I might have to wait a while to get back into that.

Eddy: Yeah, we'll ease back into it slowly. Yeah. I love how you, you do mix the cute into it. Like when Sophie and I came and got tattooed by you and you had that entire little flash sheet for us, which I've still got on my wall with all the little cat, things like those cat banana, and I got a cat lady. And Sophie got the little, um, cat makeup compact.

Mimsy: Thank you, Eddy. It's just silly stuff.

Eddy: I don't know. Like you say that your stuff's not taken seriously, but I think that there's a really important place for cuteness in tattooing because I think you know, now more than ever, women are getting tattooed far more than men. And I dunno for some, some, some women getting like big serious, like angry dragons might not be their thing, or like a big angry skull might not be their thing, but if it's something that they feel is like cute and makes them feel beautiful and adorable in their own skin, like that's really powerful for a woman like that, you're doing more than you realize.

Mimsy: That's a good way of looking at it. And I mean, obviously when it comes to that style, the, the industry has changed exponentially over the last 10 years. There's so many of us doing that style. I mean, I don't even know if I can say I do that style because there's so many people that do it way better and like really nail it and do exquisite work in that sort of genre. So I feel like I'm like, I've got to take a step back because I can't even

Eddy: You paved the way, you paved the way for cute tattoos in Australia.

Mimsy: Thank you, Eddy. You know what? A lot of people have said that to me over the years, and even though I feel obviously really uncomfortable and awkward. I also feel really, I feel really grateful and I'm proud of the next generations for being able to, um, express that to me and and I accept that now. I feel really, I'm honored and I feel like I, that's how I feel about a lot of my peers who are older than me and paved the way for me. So I really appreciate that the younger generation or the new, newer tattoo generation, um, are really respectful of people who've gone before them. So thank you.

Eddy: That's alright. I think that's a really important part of tattooing and in some groups that's been lost, like you know, the good traditions of tattooing and respecting the past and the history and how it's come to be where it is now. Like if we can't look back with respect, it's really difficult to imagine how we can look forward.

Mimsy: That's what tattooing is all about for me. That is the bottom line. That is everything is the people who paved the way for me and you. That is, that's, that's our religion. You know, this, you know, if you don't have that, you know, you're right. You've got nothing. So, yeah, I agree.

Eddy: Yeah. I remember another thing like, cause I've, I've always picked that up from from watching you just like online and just from following you and being a fan, like how much respect you have for the past. But I remember the first time I ever met you in person when I guested with you, like a million years ago now but, um, you told me that, you know like to have a good, successful tattoo career. It's not about like fame or likes or followers. It's all about like the customers and those regular customers who come back to you and showing them respect and being kind to them. And that's always stuck with me because our careers are made on those people. And without them we have nothing. And I think like that's a really important thing as well. Like that kindness to our clients.

Mimsy: Yeah. Well that's really cool that you still think of that. Um, probably my horrible voice haunting your, your brain. Um, but I do say that I'm, I say that to any, you know, tattoo apprentice or anything. The first 10 years of tattooing, I was terrible at least, and sometimes I still am, to be honest, but the thing that's always gotten me through is just the connection to my customers being super kind and polite and just the utmost respect for everyone that walks in the door if they're showing it to you.

Eddy: Yeah

Mimsy: Of course. Um, yeah. That is everything is to treat each person like they are the most important part of your life when they in your, in the, in your tattoo chair. So even though, Oh my God, I've done so many terrible tattoos, but those people in those beginning years, a lot of those custumers most of them still come in and get tattooed by me because we have, we have that connection. You know, you become family. Yeah. I strongly feel that one side of tattoo, do you your, you're in my fold. You know, you're in my circle.

Eddy: Yeah. It's more than just a customer for sure. Like because you're spending prolonged periods of time with them, like it's much more intimate and you actually get to know them as people.

Mimsy: Yeah, definitely. And that's why I don't have any friends cause I just don't really need them. I get that I get that interaction with my clients, you know, and they become my friends. Um, so that can be, yeah, that can be a bit dangerous, actually, not yeah. For me, I, I tend to lose, um social skills in the outside world because I get that from my clients. Yeah.

Eddy: It's so funny how like tattooers like a so used to just like in the tattoo shop and interacting with clients and colleagues a certain way that in the real world we're just like, I don't know. It's like there's normies and then there's us.

Mimsy: Yeah. Well, I don't so much feel that, but I definitely feel hermit life and being in, being in isolation for two months, it's not a stretch for me. I love it. Yeah. I'm not, yeah. I don't really feel like I missed, um social life or going out or anything like that. I want more time. It's never enough time for me. I want to paint more. Um

Eddy: Yeah, you've been painting like mad.

Mimsy: Yeah, but it's not enough. That's all I can think about honestly. It's all I want to do.

Eddy: Amazing. But like you can do that. You don't have to tattoo all the time as well. You can just paint if you want to.

Mimsy: Yeah, well, it's been a really interesting experiment because I've always wondered if I could make a living off my art. I did that. Again,

Eddy: No quotation marks, it's art.

Mimsy: Well, I've always wondered that, and it turns out at the moment, I probably could. Um, yeah, I don't really feel like I need to go back to tattooing as extreme as I was. Um. But I can't because I have to get up every 20 minutes and make my teenage kids food. And they're pretty good, honestly. But it's hard because I get interrupted a lot, so I'm glad that they're going back to school in two weeks.

Eddy: It must be hard like you know, being a business owner, being an artist, being a tattooer, and being a mom as well as a partner an all in one thing and then just being stuck in isolation with all of these different hats you have to wear all at once.

Mimsy: Uh, I have a really amazing husband who pretty much just does everything for me and allows me to just function like a toddler most of the time.

Eddy: Pony's so lovely

Mimsy: Uh, yeah, he really just, uh, yeah, we we're a team like that. So he is so supportive of my art that he just allows me to create all day long and he runs around and does all the errands

Eddy: That's perfect.

Mimsy: And, um, all the boring like business stuff. That's, that's all him to be honest.

Eddy: That's awesome

Mimsy: Um. I do take the lead more so on, um, managing the people at the studio that I run. Um, I know that's not specifically what you asked, but I think it's interesting to note, and you might be able to relate to this. Um, I think it's really important that the person managing the people in your studio is also a tattooer

Eddy: Yep, I agree.

Mimsy: Or at least have. Or at least has been,

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: Is very strongly, passionately connected to tattooing

Eddy: Well, you can't really understand how they feel unless you've been in their shoes. Because you know, I think maybe sometimes from an outsider perspective, you might think, Oh, they're just a bunch of babies. Like, but when you're in their shoes and you feel that pressure and stress, you can understand where artists come from with certain behaviors or things they do. So it's maybe a bit easier to have empathy and to approach it in a way that they can understand.

Mimsy: And I'm sorry cause I did just change the subject that you asked me,

Eddy: No

Mimsy: But I've always felt like it's really important as someone who runs a studio to be on the front line with your crew, with your co coworkers always, I'm not a boss, I'm a coworker. I'm on the front line. And that's why as tempting as it has been over the years to not tattoo as much, um, I feel like it's really important to keep that connection and to be there most days alongside them on the same level, doing the same stuff, getting in there, cleaning, whatever, you know, you can't be, there's gotta be someone running a studio that is here with with everyone, you know?

Eddy: Yeah, I agree a hundred percent and I think artists appreciate that too. Like for myself, having worked in studios where it was a clearcut, I'm the boss you do what I say, you're less because you're a tattooer and you work for me and you rely on me. It's kind of like, it feels a little bit belittling, but when you work with someone who's also an artist, they understand you. You can communicate to each other. Like, and you don't feel like they're better than you, like you're just learning together. It's so much like, I think it's a better creative environment as well.

Mimsy: Yes. It's a co-op. We're all in it together. Um, and I really think it's the only way it could work nowadays anyway. The industry is too competitive. Um, you know, your artists could just go and work at their home and register their business at home. So what, what's in it for them if they're going to be treated like they're not on the same level you know.

Eddy: Absolutely.

Mimsy: But I didn't really answer your question. You were talking about all the hats and mum being a mom and stuff. Um, yeah, I guess I could say, you know, my kids are 13 and 15 so they're really self-sufficient.

Eddy: That's awesome

Mimsy: They really, they just want to be in their bedrooms, playing video games or watching trashy YouTube anyway. Um, but they've really, they've really grown up with me, um, being absorbed in my work. Um, and I do have a lot of mum guilt about that, which I'm sure you've probably sort of touched on that subject with other artists before as well. Um, but, um, a lot of other people I've gotten feedback about that, um, seem to think that that might benefit them later on being influenced or having a mom who is really self motivated and focused on, um, you know, providing for my family. Hopefully that will translate to them as well. Um

Eddy: Yeah absolutely. And the fact that you and Pony are able to like work together as like parents and business partners. I think that sets a really good example as well for children that, you know, um, it's, it's got nothing to do with gender. It's just like people doing what they do best and working together with their skills to create an outcome.

Mimsy: Yeah. It's quite awesome for business Biz and Lula because there are no gender roles in our relationship. Um, apart from doing the washing Pony does all of that. But yeah. Um, no we don't. Yeah. Pony has always been the Mr mom, like he ever since they were little kids, he was the one who took them to a kindy every day and hung out with the other moms and he joined the PNC. I was never on the PNC. He became the ah treasurer, I think he was of the PNC when they're in primary school and used to hang out with the other moms. And, um, uh, when my kids were really young, um, my daughter got sick and he decided, uh, we both decided that I would go to work tattooing and that he would look after my daughter. Um, so that was a role reversal because he was full time dad, you know, I was full time work, but he was still working in the business as well. Um, so yeah, that, that was a bit of a role reversal at the time. Um, I think things have changed a lot now in the world, and there's a lot more dads doing that nowadays.

Eddy: Which is amazing.

Mimsy: It's amazing. And there's no need for that. You know this. It's the ebb and flow, you know, cause one day the balance could change. It doesn't matter. Male, female. It's just about the partnership and helping each other out.

Eddy: Absolutely. Like that's the rule. My husband and I have, it's just like, you know, if I've worked a longer day, he does more of the house stuff and vice versa. Like we always try to meet each other equally and contribute equally to our lives as a whole. But it's never like a fight or an argument. It's just like you do what your part because you're a human and like nothing else matters apart from making sure that your lives run easily.

Mimsy: Yeah. Yeah. Well. You're very lucky too, because you've got an amazing partner as well, so

Eddy: He's lovely.

Mimsy: I mean, I can't really see it working any other way, and I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't have that. I suppose really, to me, it just seems like the norm. I don't really see gender roles or, you know, I don't really see any of that in my, in my world.

Eddy: Yeah. I think we're really lucky, like I think especially now in the world we're in where we can just focus more on being humans and on creating equity and not focusing on all that like bullshit that we've been programmed with and just be nice, have a good life.

Mimsy: I hope so. And it's interesting because you know, you've put together this amazing, um, movement with the, Not Just A Girl, you know, starting with the flash day and now this podcast. Um, so, but yeah, for me personally, it's, I feel weird about it because I just don't see it. Like I, I guess I'm just in my bubble and it always shocks me when I meet or see people on TV or anything like that who don't have, you know, gender equality, I suppose. So

Eddy: Yeah. We are very, very privileged to be in our little bubble where we are treated with respect and where we're safe and yeah, I think

Mimsy: That is a very good point.

Eddy: Yeah. I think, you know. Sometimes like that's because that's what we create for ourselves. Like, you know, we do have the privilege of creating that. Not everyone does, but you know, for myself, I don't allow toxicity into my life because I'm not going to have anything that's going to affect me negatively or get in the way of what I need to do. And for me, my focus is producing art and being happy. So like that's everything in my life is centered around making that happen in a positive way.

Mimsy: You're a very amazing role model when it comes to, uh, yeah the self-awareness like that. And I think you are really inspiring. And I wonder what's led you to, to that path and having such a clear vision of, um, of what you, what your beliefs are as well.

Eddy: Well, I've got a, I've got a strong, I got a very strong mom who like from a very young age, was just like you never accept anything less than what you feel you deserve. If you treat other people with kindness and you don't hurt other people, you have a right to like be respected, to be treated with kindness in return and just like respect yourself enough to demand what you deserve. And that was like the biggest thing and taking responsibility for everything you do and feel as a human like cause once you take responsibility then everything else kind of gets a bit easier to cope with. I think so. I'm very, very lucky that my mother is so strong and has set me up to a point where I can maybe try to do good for others in return.

Mimsy: Amazing. Thank you Eddy's mum, you created a beautiful human

Eddy: Big Don. Um. Yeah. Anyway, we got, we got totally off the topic, but that was lovely. I love mom.

Mimsy: I'm sorry I do that.

Eddy: It was mother's day yesterday, so happy mother's day for yesterday, by the way.

Mimsy: I got Kmart vouchers, so I'm stoked

Eddy: Awww, Kmart. Didn't you do a Kmart flash sheet one time?

Mimsy: Yeah I did

Eddy: I love um with your work, how it's just like, there's a lot of humor in it. Like there's a lot of like sarcasm and irony and like you're always kind of, even though you know, not overly like outspoken about lots of different things, you can always like just get like little hints of humor and like ideas and opinions in your work. But it's in a really like cute and easy to digest way.

Mimsy: Thank you for noticing that. That means a lot to me. Um, what can I say about that? That's my way of coping, I suppose. Um, yeah. I've never been, I've tried being a little bit of an activist about certain things over the years that I feel strongly about. Um, but I do feel like artists, um, if any, actually anyone who has an audience has a vehicle to affect people.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: I don't want to say that I have a responsibility to, cause I don't, I don't know about that. But I do feel like, you know, if, if I've got an audience, like it's, it's not much, but I have a few people following me on Instagram or you know, anyone looking at the piece of paper in front of them, you know, if I can make them think a certain way that's what it's all about to me. I just want to affect people somehow. Like when I go, see, when I go to the cinema and I see a movie, I want to come out of there feeling something. I don't care what it is. I just want to feel something. So yeah, to me, I want people to look at my art and if it makes them have just a little bit of a smile, just even a little bit, I'm like, fuck yeah or something, or sad or anything. I just want people to feel something. That's what, that's what gives me joy, I suppose.

Eddy: I think. I mean, having a message is inherent in our work. Like you said, anyone who's got an audience, it's just inherent part of it. Even if it's not what you're trying to do, you're still, even if you're not putting a message out there on purpose, it still is impacting people and influencing people in a way. But I think, yeah, your stuff definitely has that happiness, like that joy in it. Like, you know, you did a cute little vegan flash sheet cause I know that veganism is something really important to you. And at first you're like, Oh, it's just so cute. All these cute little things. And then you look at it again, you're like, Oh, it's like a vegan thing. I'm like, Oh yeah, like, and then it kind of gets that conversation going about those things and those thought processes, which is really good.

Mimsy: I like to sucker punch people, you know like do just yeah like, just shock people a little bit. If you can just do the juxtapose of things or, yeah. You look at something and think, Oh, that's so beautiful, but then if you look closer, it's actually really disturbing.

Eddy: Like your little COVID drawings you're putting up at the start of isolation I was losing my shit over that.

Mimsy: We're all fucked. You got, I mean, if you don't laugh, you cry right.

Eddy: Absolutely

Mimsy: Kind of a helpless feeling where you just got to go, Oh, well, I'm just going to do something completely fucking ridiculous because who cares anyway?

Eddy: Yeah. I think it's cool to let go of that idea of like worrying about what people think and just do something fun and ridiculous because that's what's going to lead you to something more impactful anyway.

Mimsy: Yes. It's hard sometimes to let yourself or to, yeah. To get your head around that. Um, but that's, to me, that would be the ultimate goal as an artist, is just to never have a design brief and just take, take things too far as you could and further because you're creating it. There's no, I mean, I'm talking about, you know, like not necessarily tattooing because I guess there are constraints, but you've got the ability to make something look like it's flying or, um, I dunno anything, take, take it as far as you can. If that's what you want to do, you're not confined by anything. So

Eddy: Yeah, we don't have restrictions with artists really. Like when we're creating work for ourselves.

Mimsy: That's the dream.

Eddy: Yeah. That's what I feel like, like for those of us who are privileged in this situation, to be able to get like welfare or whatever and live comfortably and not have too many stresses, you know, we can explore those things and like a lot of the people I've spoken to a realize that, Oh, Hey, after this I can actually make time for my art because I realized how important it is in my life and process. And so like coming into this new world after, you know, COVID or whatever, we can still tattoo but we can still have time for art and be a more full version of ourselves.

Mimsy: I don't know how I'm going to have time to do it all. Honestly, I, I'm scared. Yeah. I don't know. It's going to be so weird trying to fit tattooing back into my life.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: Because yeah, I'm going to have to start slowly I think

Eddy: Definitely cause I mean making art is in itself is a pretty big job.

Mimsy: Yeah. It's definitely a mental sort of a thing that's always there, isn't it? It's just always there.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: The responsibility yeah I'm not saying it's bad it's just, you know

Eddy: It's different

Mimsy: Probably been good for everyone to have a little break, right?

Eddy: Yeah, I think so. I've really enjoyed it, actually, like aspects of it, obviously. But yeah, it's, it's nice to like not be boss for a bit and just be another person who can't tattoo.

Mimsy: Yeah, yeah. Well we're all, we're all in the same boat, aren't we? Everyone's. Yeah. Um, I can't remember what I was going to ask. You can ask me something cause I forgot what I was going to say.

Eddy: Well, um one of the, one of the things like. Like, I've always wondered about, like, you know, with your studio, like Trailer Trash, it's so iconic. Um, you know, I remember when I first started tattooing, and I think even before when I was going to conventions, you know, your trailer was always the highlight you had your pink sparkly trailer, the grass, like the fake grass, the little white picket fence, the pink flamingos everywhere. Everything was just like so fun. And it's literally the only thing I remember about conventions, like the Trailer Trash thing and it was the same when I came to visit your studio when it was at Archerfield airport, like just how cute it is. Like is that, was that always the plan to have this like studio that's literally a whole other world and experience. Or it, is that just something that came about naturally, like, yeah, I've always wondered about that.

Mimsy: Yeah. Well, I think it's a bit of both, to be honest. Um, I'd always wanted a fifties caravan, like obsessively, I needed a fifties caravan and I had one, I had a couple, and then I spent, I realized, I mean, I love. I love that era and I loved the caravan and I love tattooing. Hello.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: Hello. Just makes sense. Right? It was like, Oh my God, this it's in front of me like this. This is what I'm meant to do.

Eddy: It's such a perfect fit

Mimsy: I was so excited. And then the name, I mean, I don't even know if it's very politically correct, but to me the name, um, Trailer Trash Tattoos represented, uh, the idea of this is what I am, take it or leave it. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I just do me. I do trailer trash, tattoos. Like, I just, I just do like, sorry, I can't be this fine artist that you want probably it's just who I am. So it was like, I'm just putting myself out there. The way that I am, take it or leave it. Um, so yeah, when, when I got the trailer and I realized that, and then I found out that I could legally do it, um, that was pretty exciting. Uh, my dream at that point was to tattoo in the trailer full time. Um, and then my dream was to actually own a trailer park

Eddy: That's amazing

Mimsy: where it was all. I know that was my dream. So then when I started, um, when I opened the Archerfield studio, we found a warehouse, as you may remember, cause you worked there. Um, I want, I wanted a warehouse. And to set up a trailer park in the warehouse.

Eddy: It's so good

Mimsy: And so my, the only way I could do that financially was I had three three fifties trailers in the warehouse. Um, but then I realized it's not really very comfortable and no, no other artist is gonna want to do that. So there was a mezzanine level and I wanted that to overlook the trailer park. That was my dream. I wanted like a panoramic view looking down on the trailer park that was in the warehouse. But of course the reality was the window that we could cut into that wall was only so big. It wasn't, yeah. It wasn't a panoramic

Eddy: You could still see the trailer park.

Mimsy: You could. So in my mind it was this, you know, trailer park in a warehouse and I tattooed in the trailer, and then I had people tattooing on the mezzanine as well. And it was the whole yeah step into my world. Like a, like a museum, like a fifties trailer park um, all set up. And I'd be all dressed up and it'd be just the full experience. Yeah. Cause you can right, there's. Well, like who's to tell you what you can and can't do, except for the government? Of course,

Eddy: They love to tell you what you can and can't do.

Mimsy: So there was that restriction. So to be honest, that's, that's where my mindset was at it was just like, wow, I'm going to do this ridiculous thing. And of course the reality was it got whittled down to the you know, three caravans in a warehouse

Eddy: It's still worked. It's still had its impact.

Mimsy: Yeah. It was. We Pony and I, like I was saying before, we took things as far as we could, it was completely impractical. Um, yeah. And we lasted I think we were there for five or six years, which is insane, because it was in the middle of nowhere. It was literally in the middle of nowhere. It was ridiculous, and somehow, I don't know how we attracted all these incredible guests artists like yourself, and I could name 20 other artists. They will all, they all want it to be a part of this from the start they wanted a piece of this ridiculousness.

Eddy: It's so good though. I feel like it's become a part of Australian tattoo history though. Like just this crazy other world that you created.

Mimsy: I hope so but I have to admit it's gotten harder now that we're it's gotten harder for me to preserve that part of myself, but I hope to go back to it in some way.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: Yeah. It's not all written. The books aren't closed on that because there's possibility there could be a reinvention, some point in my career.

Eddy: I look forward to seeing that. But it's cool that you're able to just like go with the flow and just work with what you're given as well. Like, you know, you're in a beautiful building now, although you guys haven't had the best year with the fire and everything, but yeah, like you still always got a beautiful space to work with.

Mimsy: Yeah. Well, we, when we moved there, which is in Annerly, which is about 15 minutes from Brisbane CBD, um, we were actually looking for a space that was a street shop. Uh, of course, Pony and I got led carried away by our hearts when we found this old Queenslander building and we'd moved into that space, which is where we are now. Um, so it wasn't really the plan, but to be honest, the reason we, you know, I've evolved in that direction is because of my workmates. I haven't really, um, worked with anyone who particularly really wanted to be in my kawaii bubble. I don't even know if there is anyone else in the world that would want to, because its a bit weird in there.

Eddy: You're in a world of your own.

Mimsy: The idea. Right. So the idea with this evolution of trailer trash is to include everyone. So not I, you know, not, it's not all pink and sparkly and whatever. The studio, it's more inclusive and for all, for everyone's clients as well. It's still beautiful. And my room that I work in is still pink, but the idea behind this evolution was to respect everyone that I work with in the way that I represent the studio.

Eddy: Yeah. That's so beautiful. And that's like, I think a really good example for other studios to follow that you know, it's important to be inclusive and not just like focus on your own ideas, but include everyone you work with because that creates more diversity and invites more people into the space.

Mimsy: Yeah, I always want, um, the people that I get to work with, I always want them to have their own space to create as well. I think that's really important. Even if it's only a wall or a couple of walls or a corner, everyone needs to be able to express themselves cause we're artists. Um, that's, that's how I feel. Um, so we're really lucky. Even though we did have like you were saying that you have bad luck at the beginning of the year with with our fire. Um. We're really lucky that now we have a space where a Swazi and Alegra and I all have our own room, and then we have a whole downstairs level as well. So there's heaps of space for us now, which is going to become really handy because we're all gonna have COVID safe.

Eddy: Hmm.

Mimsy: Plans going forward. So that's going to be handy for us, even though, like you said, we did experience some bad luck. Um, on the flip side, the positive is now that the studio is being renovated again after the fire, a lot of us can have our room and we've heaps of space to spread out.

Eddy: That's awesome. And you've got such a good team to work with as well. You've always got the most incredible lineup of artists at your studio.

Mimsy: Yeah, we're very lucky. We're very lucky, but also probably not just luck. Um, I'm pretty, how would you say, yeah, I'm pretty full on when it comes to two first impressions and also it takes quite a lot for me to completely trust someone. So when I put someone on full time, you know that I think that they're worthy cause I'm not mucking around. I'm 43 I've been tattooing for over 20 years. If you're, you're not going to take things seriously, or you know, be a good person is the main thing.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: That's number one.

Eddy: Absolutely

Mimsy: I'm not muckin I'm just not mucking around.

Eddy: Yeah, that's, that's good though. You go to set boundaries. I do the same here. Like my most important thing is that the person is a kind person who's inclusive and thoughtful and respectful. And then after that it's their work and how they treat their customer. And then, you know, like a whole array of other things. But everyone has to be able to work together or not at all.

Mimsy: Yeah. Yeah. It's a, it's a tricky balance, but we do it.

Eddy: It can be hard managing tattooers egos, cause we've all got them, whether we like to admit it or not. But

Mimsy: Yeah. Well, I have to say that's probably the secret of the success of the current crew that I have is that there's really not much of that at all.

Eddy: That's amazing.

Mimsy: That's just out the window, like were all just nerds or you know, just social dysfunctional people. Like they're just, there is just no ego in our studio at the moment. It's really easy to go to work every day, and I love that feeling when you just, you feel like you could go in your pajamas and no one would bat an eyelid. Do you know what I mean?

Eddy: That's the best

Mimsy: Just noone cares, all we care about is the tattooing. You know, and just looking at what each other does. And, um, yeah, that's, that's all we care about is that, that's our connection with each other. Yeah.

Eddy: I love that. When you're in a studio where everyone's looking at each other's work and enjoying each other's work, that's just like, that's the best feeling ever.

Mimsy: Yeah. Well, we, weirdly enough, another great thing that came out of the fire that we had is that we all had to move downstairs. So there were, I think there was seven of us, or eight of us. Sorry, I'm really bad at remembering. We were all tattooing sort of in the same space and really closely. And I'll, cause usually I'm upstairs in my own room, so was Chantelle and Alegra and Swazi, but we all converged downstairs for a few months. And um it really bonded us. But now we're separating again cause when we're ready to be apart again

Eddy: I think customers enjoy it too when there's, um, a good relationship between the tattooers like, it makes them feel more comfortable and safe to come in as well. And like, you know, whether another tattooer comes up to them and goes, I really love the tattoo you've just got a really like enforces for them that, Oh yeah, I did, I made the right decision with this life changing thing that I've just done to my body.

Mimsy: They love it. And also you might be able to relate to this. Um, the upstairs level of trailer trash is all girls and it didn't intend to be that way. It just evolved that way and it's been so great, like a lot of our, well, not just female customers. A lot of our customers just feel so relaxed and just, yeah. I mean, there was no ego anyway, but there's definitely no ego when you're. I don't know, it's been, it's been so good and just so easy.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: Do you have any comments on that? Is that a tricky subject?

Eddy: No, like I think it does change the dynamic. Like I, in the last year I was at STR, I worked with two guys or three guys, sorry, who were amazing and there wasn't any issues with them at all. Like I absolutely loved working with them, but then when I came and opened FLT, I had no intention of like hiring only like female identifying people. But that's just what happened. And even though I loved working with these boys, working with just the girls for a while, it was actually like really a welcome change. Like again, I don't judge people on their gender or anything like that, but it just was different. Like, you know being able to come to work and not really worry about what I was wearing, how I looked. I could talk about menstruating and like PMS and all of those things that I felt awkward talking in front of other people about. But then suddenly it was just like everything's on the table. And then it was like there were no walls anymore.

Like talking about all kinds of personal things, like there's no such thing as too much information anymore. We're just so comfortable. And that made our customers more comfortable as well. And so even though now we've got Paul working with us, I'm like, it still hasn't changed. Like he's just fit into that, that thing like that, I guess new vibe where it's just all about being yourself, being comfortable, being honest and not competing, not trying to have this like weird bravado or anything like that. And it's made work coming to work so much more pleasant.

Mimsy: Hmm. Amazing. And it is a tricky subject though, cause I think you actually used to get asked that a lot before you had, is it Paul before you had, yeah, it is a tricky subject. And like I was saying, to be honest, it was really refreshing going back downstairs and working with all the guys again as well. Yeah, I'm the same. It doesn't matter. I don't care. It's your personality that the clincher it doesn't matter. But

Eddy: People really grasp onto it though. Like we were always like, Oh, you're the girl shop, aren't you? And I'd just be like, no, we're the tattoo shop, we happen to identify as women, but we are tattooers. Tattooers first and foremost. None of the other stuff matters. But people would really like get funny about it. Like we had one guy who canceled, um, a full day appointment when he found out there was no men here because he didn't he didn't feel comfortable being tattooed when there were no men around.

Mimsy: Whoa.

Eddy: Yeah. And we had,

Mimsy: I don't know, I mean, I guess he can't judge like can you, cause maybe that's a valid feeling that someone has.

Eddy: Yes, It's really interesting that like that toxic masculinity, that that idea of like he could not trust women to do as good a job as as men. And cause the way he worded it, that's what it had actually come down to. Like, I do find that I've had a few incidents like that where it's like, people were shocked that like, you know, they would often ask me if my husband was running the studio with me. Like as if I couldn't do it without a man behind me. Or like, I dunno, like, well I'm safe in my world and I'm not judged on based on my gender, I'm only judged on my abilities. You know, it's interesting people who are outside my little social circle coming in and being like, Oh, why aren't they boys here? Like, you know, it's a different tattoos shop, it's just a tattoo shop. You know? No one questions, whether it's okay for a woman to go and get tattoed at a shop where only men are working, but then we would always be like, Oh, what are men allowed to get tattooed at your shop because there's only a female tattooers. And I'm like ofcourse everyone is welcome here. You're all safe. You're all welcome. Please come. But please treat us with respect to, but yeah

Mimsy: I know that feeling really well, but I guess I'm kind of shocked that that is still happening so much. When I started tattooing, because I was only 20 so I looked like I was 10 I was so young. But then people that walked in the shop I think it was probably women too, probably. Um, yeah. They wouldn't take me seriously. That'd be like, Oh, I was one of the guys here

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: To talk to. That was a combination of me being female and young, so I get, I get the inexperienced thing. Yeah. I'm a bit shocked that that's still a thing. I don't, I don't really come across it anymore myself, but I wonder if that's just because I just, I mean, you're the same though. I just have a zero patience for that at all, and I think I put that vibe out there so strongly because I've been in the industry so long, I'm really confident with people who are going to act like that and I just, they just don't last very long around me, I suppose.

Eddy: I think the way that we come across on social media, we attract the kind of customers who are going to treat us with respect. Like. I think when they take a look at our work or our social media or whatever, like they know that they're not going to get away with that. You know, like on my bio, it's hashtag feminist, you know, so they know that it's not going to fly here, but it's see and that's where I can't tell if it's happening less or it's just that I'm not attracting those kinds of clientele anymore. But like, I remember the first time I really noticed the difference. Like I always knew that, you know, I was always asked if I was the receptionist and all that, but I remember one time I went to a customer with a design and they were like, this is terrible. I want this and this and this changed. And I explained to them from a technical point of view why these things wouldn't work as a tattoo and what we would do instead and what their options were. They were like, no. No, I want what I want. And then my colleague, um, Drew came over and repeated exactly what I said, and they were like, Oh, yeah. And he just turned around and he was like, what the hell, yup, that's what it's like.

Mimsy: Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah. I'm sure it probably still. Yeah. I mean, let's, let's get into it. I feel like the tattoo industry is still, females are still very underrepresented. Um, in this industry. So I suppose that's kind of related, it's all, it's all connected, isn't it?

Eddy: Yeah. That's why I wanted to do this because I've been in isolation. I've been listening to podcasts, and there's some amazing podcast out there that I've really enjoyed, like tattoo themed ones. But the vast majority of the people who were being spoken to are white cis-het men. Like they're just. It's bro culture and I can't relate to that, and it's great that they've got a platform, but we would also like a platform.

Mimsy: Yeah. Thank you, Eddy. That's awesome. It's always been something that's really bothered me in this industry. I remember the first tattoo convention I went to. They had a press conference, um, at the beginning of it, which is weird. I didn't know they did that. They had a panel and there was media there and stuff, and there were 10 people on the panel representing the tattoo convention, not a single female on the panel. And I just was watching this thinking, there's nothing for me here. I this. Yeah. And anyway, even now. It really irks me. There's so many things, like, you know, art shows, for example, to tattoo art shows that, and they're not, they're not like um meant to be a particular thing, but you'll see a lineup of 40 artists tattoo artist and maybe there's one more two females on there. I mean, what's with that?

Eddy: Yeah. It's like you've got your token woman to shut them up.

Mimsy: Yeah

Eddy: But yeah,

Mimsy: I mean, if you have to go out of your way and represent fairly, if you don't know any female tattooers that you can invite, you know, if, if your circle of friends is all male and you're organizing this art show or whatever. Well guard or some trouble and get some more females on there. Like why wouldn't you?

Eddy: Yeah

Mimsy: It's just weird. It's weird to me.

Eddy: We need to be more inclusive. Like it's the only way to make people feel more comfortable and safe. And I think as well, like the more inclusive we strive to be, the less we're going to see issues with abuse and stuff in the tattoo community be that of artists or clients.

Mimsy: Oh, that sounds, that sounds like a can of worms that I don't know about.

Eddy: Yeah. Let's not go down that route. But yeah. But I feel like there are some conventions. Like going back to the convention thing, like there are some where they're trying to be more inclusive. Like, like we both love the New Zealand. Um, tattoo and art festival, cause that does I as a woman there, I don't feel objectified. And same as Literary Ink, um, in Chattanooga in Tennessee. Like that was one, it was probably the most inclusive and safe convention I've ever seen in my life.

Mimsy: Wow. It looks amazing. Okay, so cool. Yeah. I've never thought about feeling objectified, but maybe that's because I'm usually like in like with my trailer all trashed up. Maybe I objectify myself in some weird way. So I don't know.

Eddy: You're in your little bubble.

Mimsy: Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. The pendulum has swung so far on one side, for all of humanity

Eddy: Yep

Mimsy: If it swings a little bit too much this way for a while. That's the way it's meant to be maybe so that seeing things can come back here.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: But if it has to swing a bit this way for women for a while. It's because it's swung that way.

Eddy: Yeah. I think that's the only way to achieve true equity anyway. Like you can't just suddenly turn around after years of like you know, inequality and oppression and whatnot, and just be like, okay, now we're going to treat everyone equally. No, you've got to like first raise women up raise trans and non binary people up and give everyone an equal footing to then start from and to go from there and yeah. That's, I'm seeing more and more groups generally, but in tattooing where they actually fighting for space and for a platform to say, no, I'm going to be heard from now on.

Mimsy: Wow. Sounds amazing.

Eddy: It does let's hope that like, you know, in, in 20 years time, like people coming into the industry are all treated with much more kindness and equality and not mistaken for a receptionist.

Mimsy: It's hard to imagine what the tattoo industry would be like in 20 years time, isn't it?

Eddy: Yeah. Well, I guess that would be a good. A good question to finish on, like what would you like want to impart on future tattooers or even like people recently coming into the industry, like from your 20 years of experience and seeing things change so much, like what would you love to see people bringing into it moving forward.

Mimsy: Well, firstly, I guess I have to comment that my 20 years is a drop in the ocean. I feel like I'm only half way to earning some kind of a respect as being like a, you know, uh whatever, whatever you want to think of it. Um, because I look up to tattooers who've been tattooing for 50 40 50 years, and they're the people who I go, wow, you know, you've paved the way. So I don't feel like 20 years is anything, but anyway, what would I, what would I impart.

Just, yeah. Just to respect the people who've, who've gone before you and to, to understand that. And, uh, it's, I can't, I can't relate to the newer generations. I just can't because I, yeah I didn't even have a mobile phone until I was 25. Like I'd already been tattooing five years, so there was no Google or anything like that. It's really hard for me to relate to the younger generations or people who are coming into tattooing, but I guess, you know what it just comes down to is just be passionate about it. Just be obsessed with it and love it. Otherwise. Just don't bother, um

Eddy: It's almost like it's almost like a kick in the kick in the back or something when they don't love it.

Mimsy: Well, yeah, you mean the, I, I'm not don't want to judge anyone, but I just think if you, if you love and are passionate enough about something. Then you will research it properly and treat it with, with the care that it deserves. This craft that has been handed down person to person needs to be kept and treated really carefully and gently and, um, with respect. And that could be, that could mean so many things. But I dunno, I just stay connected and um, yeah, it's, stay connected to you to your pencil and your paper as well, and not just your iPad maybe as well. Um,

Eddy: You do get a disconnect with the iPad, I think, like I was using iPad almost exclusively for about a year. Like I just kind of eventually slowly went over to that and then in isolation started sketching in my sketchbook again and it was just like, I guess this cause it's so much more tactile and there's like a transfer of energy or something and just the feeling of the tooth of the paper under your pencil. There's something special about that that we should definitely never lose.

Mimsy: Well, don't get me started on the iPad. All it's done is confused my brain. I've got one, I think it was probably just over a year ago, and what has happened to me is exactly what I thought would happen. Now I'm just stuck in like a limbo between two worlds because you're right. I feel like you need to just work on the iPad for a long time to master it or to be any good at it. Um, to just dabble in it like I really can hardly do anything on it, but if I'm on the iPad for a prolonged amount of time I'm so disconnected from painting and drawing. That's really hard to get back into that.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: So to do, to do both is really hard and confusing.

Eddy: Yeah. I think there's definitely a place for both, but I think it's, if it's possible, like not losing a connection with just pencil and paper, I think will help people and their art making so much more.

Mimsy: I guess so, but I would never want anyone to feel like I'm judgy or like have a preconceived idea of what an artist should be either.

Eddy: Yeah.

Mimsy: You write your own book when it comes to that. But, um, I guess I can only just say from my own sort of perspective, maybe that's my advice to myself. I don't know if I can give anyone any advice that would, that would seem like I'm some kind of a, um yeah like, like, I know what I'm doing.

Eddy: We're all just like chickens with our heads chopped off, running around trying to figure shit out.

Mimsy: Pretty much.

Eddy: Oh, it's been so good talking to you.

Mimsy: Thank you Eddy. It's been great. Even just to see your face and have a chat too. Cause you know, I don't really talk to many people nowadays.

Eddy: I think the last time I saw you was in New Zealand last year.

Mimsy: Yeah. Well, we'll see if it's on again this year. Were you booked to go?

Eddy: Yeah, I was, I was going to take, um, some of the crew as well this time and

Mimsy: It was going to be November. But yeah, I mean, I think we'll be lucky if it is on hey.

Eddy: Yeah. If not, it'll happen again.

Mimsy: Um I was meant to be tattooing in Melbourne last weekend too, so I'm wondering, yeah, I'm wondering if our borders will reopen, but I don't want them to reopen until it's safe though.

Eddy: Yeah. Exactly. It's like, you know, part of you is like desperate to be able to travel and do all the things you used to do, but then you kind of like people safety is actually more important right now.

Mimsy: Yeah, I'm not, I'd rather just stay here in my office and paint everyday, I feel bad cause I've still got, you know, deposits from 20 people who have booked in with me in Melbourne. So it's just, that's how, that's why I feel bad and I'm going to get down there

Eddy: Yeah, you'll get there eventually.

Mimsy: Yeah. Well, thank you so much for including me in your amazing podcast, and I wish you all success in the world with this Eddy. It's a really great way to reinvent, um, the Not Just A Girl concept. Um, and you know, I'm really grateful that we ha, you know, in Australia we have you as our icon for. For that, and you really are, you really become that for us and you, you become a real leader and someone who inspires. Um, and that's really important and just, I have to say you're really brave as well for doing that. Um

Eddy: I just feel like I'm doing what I need to do. Like, just want to uplift other, other women, other people, like just want to do my bit to make tattooing happier and safer.

Mimsy: It's amazing that you feel that calling and that you're acting on it because that does take a lot of bravery to physically go out and do something about it. And you know, we owe you a lot for that, so thank you.

Eddy: Oh, I don't think so. See, I feel like, you know, it's women like you paving the way, like inspiring, you know, my generation to tattoo is like, we owe you all our gratitude.

Mimsy: Well, thank you. And I love you too.

Eddy: Well, um, just to our listeners, if you'd like to, um, check out the footage, you can see our YouTube channel. Um, you can follow us on Instagram at Not Just A Girl underscore Tattoo for regular updates. Um, in the show notes, I'll link all of Mimsy's details and Trailer Trash details so that you can see their wonderful work. Um, please subscribe, follow and share and help spread the love of tattooing. Huge thank you to the wonderful Mimsy for joining us today and sharing your story. Um, yeah. Like I really appreciate you coming on and I really appreciate everyone for listening. So thank you so much. I love you Mimsy

Mimsy: Love you, thank you, stay cute.

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princepestilence · 6 years

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Okay, I’ve been sick for about three days straight now (a cold, a fever, nothing serious but nothing fun) and I’m just having a whole lot of feelings about Hogwarts houses and interhouse friendships and alliances and characterisation right about now, sparked by this post, so I’m going to indulge myself in nattering on the topic and maybe it will be partially coherent!

This will be about Slytherin/Hufflepuff, by the way.

Preface: I’m thinking about this through my personal lens as someone who feels strongly and deeply a connection to Slytherin house (and always has, since I was eight and read the first book) but has a love and respect for all houses and frankly enjoys the imperfectness of the house system at Hogwarts.

My identification with Slytherin comes from a combination of being frustrated with Rowling’s “evil house” mentality/canon characterisation (as a monster-enraptured queer kid, of course I loved the unloved and also was by nature defiant, contrary, and very hostile to/suspicious of blanket statements of “X people are innately bad”) and a belief (even at the age of nine) that I could live fairly happily and excel in any house if I wanted to, but it was Slytherin who would most benefit from me being a part of it because of its bad reputation/problems, as I believed it needed people who cared about fixing it and being good Slytherins and changing the way things were done (please take a moment to consider how insanely confident and arrogant and ambitious I was as a kid to think something like this). Picking any other house felt like taking the “not my problem” route, and when I first read my way into the Harry Potter series, I very much did feel a unique kinship with the concept of Slytherin--ambitious, resourceful, good leaders, careful and slow to act, clever, artful, and survivors above all else--if not the actual characters/house in canon itself, and therefore it did feel like it was my problem and not picking that house would be the same as running away or being irresponsible or something. This feeling has only grown over the many years. Anyway.

Hufflepuff, conceptually, is probably my favourite house! Helga Hufflepuff was undoubtedly the best founder and her tenets of belief are things I really believe in and care about in real life far more than any other house’s core ethos, and probably because of that--and because someone needs to love the underdog and it might as well be me--I’ve been a long-time supporter of Hufflepuff, since it doesn’t get the respect and attention it deserves and its members are made to feel less important/throwaways from the other houses, which! is! not! true! This brings me to the point of this one-sided discussion, which is that basically everyone characterises Hufflepuff completely wrong and in this really soppy, useless, “nice and nothing else” way, and I get personally upset about that a lot because, again, my favourite house and also some of my favourite people (who are amazing in their own right) have been Hufflepuffs. So!

The central tenets of the Hufflepuff ethos: hard work, loyalty, patience, justice, fairness, caring for others, doing what’s necessary, dedication, humility, rising to meet the challenges an unfair, uncaring, unjust world presents to you.

How people characterise Hufflepuffs: super nice, super chill and relaxed supportive “mum friend” types who’re basically all stoners, worry about other people a lot, hide behind other scarier/more action-oriented friends from other houses when intimidated and require protection from the big mean world, sort of simple-minded, not competitive, push-overs and don’t get angry or get ineffectually “mad” but it’s cute so whatever.

What people who embody the Hufflepuff ethos are actually like:

The two most Hufflepuff people I’ve ever known are also the two friends I’ve looked up to as my leader at different times in my life--and that’s not a coincidence. Their groundedness, their kindness, their generosity with their time, their patience, their trustworthiness, their humility (without it ever being false modesty), their genuine compassion and interest in other people, their willingness to not allow unkindness and step in when things were wrong, their calm certainty that things will be okay, and their work ethic all were inspirational for me and I learned so much about who I wanted to become and how to become that person (the person I am becoming now) by watching them. In both these people I found extremely meaningful friendships that changed the course of myself and my life, and left impacts that are still part of the landscape of who I am.

One of them was my first ever real best friend, who I met in about year three or four. I was new to the school and this was a good while before my social skills really started to develop, so I was perhaps at my most prickly and difficult, and she still reached out to me and befriended me, even though I honestly think I had all the charm of a feral cat back then. She was patient and gentle and so incredibly slow to anger, which was the opposite of me at the time, and she would just laugh off any snarkiness of mine and bump me on the shoulder or mess up my hair and tell me to cool off or make some goofy joke that would totally undermine whatever serious sulk I thought I was having. When I was being my worst self at someone, she would turn to me seriously and say, “Don’t be cruel,” and after a while, she’d have to say it less and less because I got more thoughtful, more gentle, better at pulling back my temper, because it really meant something to me that I didn’t make her disappointed or upset. She made me want to be more like her. She wasn’t popular or “cool” or anything, but she was creative and funny and genuinely cared about people. She was amazingly good at diffusing situations. She brought out so much good in me, and I turned around and gave as much of it as I could back to her: I was basically devoted to her--extremely loyal and supportive of all her quirks and endeavours and protective of her, although frankly I did not need to be.

By the end of primary school, her influence on me changed me radically: I’d gone from friendless to being decently charismatic and good at making friends, especially good at collecting the “unwanted” people and making them feel wanted and welcome with us; on the path of changing from being aloof to someone who loved company, who loved my people, who wanted to be in the centre of all the social circles and networks, knowing everything and being considered as everyone’s best friend. I look back now, and so much of my social development--so much of what I consider these days to be the better bits of my personality--came from her. And she was unquestionably a Hufflepuff person! I hate that some people would characterise her as “boring” or a two-dimensional “supportive friend,” because her and people like her deserve so much better than that. Being someone so kind, patient, encouraging, accepting, and morally centred, especially at a young age, is difficult. Seeing weird, lonely queer boys (which is what her little group ended up being after a year or so, starting with me) and stepping up to essentially take them under your wing, and care about them despite the fact they’re sometimes just jerks, and work with them to make them less jerkish, is a hell of a project to take on in your tween years and she did it without hesitating. I think about that a lot, in wonder and awe.

The other friend is someone I still think of often, someone who I think I will always miss, because I haven’t had a connection with anyone quite like how I did with her. I noticed her when I started high school, because we were in the same year and caught the same bus home each day, but I was a bit too self-conscious to try to talk to her, because she was cool (and I was not). Super charismatic, talented, funny, and sort of magnetically likeable. I’d never met someone quite so compellingly loveable before her, or since. The entire year group was smitten with her, to be honest: everyone wanted just a moment to talk to her, to sit next to her in class, to be her friend. She was basically a celebrity. (In our final year, she won as school captain by a landslide. It was never a competition).

Then--I actually got to know her, at the start of our senior years, when I was really starting to become the me I’m proud of. We sat together in a few classes. We started sitting together on the bus every afternoon. We talked for hours every week that way. We didn’t hang in the same circles during school time, but there was always that hour in the afternoon trip home where it was just us in this little bubble apart from everything and everyone else. Conversations with her were uniquely good and fast and felt like dancing, or flying, or dueling--whenever I hear that line, “so, so, so this is what it feels like to match wits with someone at your level, what the hell is the catch? it’s the feeling of freedom, of seeing the light...” I think of her. I think of the impromptu nonsense world-building we would do, tossing an absurd idea to each other with little warning and adding to it, making up this impossible, always-growing place that all our friends knew about and loved but no-one else could really be a part of. (We called it the Kingdom). I think of how lonely it can be sometimes, now that I’ve known what that feels like.

I admired her so much. She always felt ahead of me: smarter, more talented, better at sport, more charming, far more interesting, more confident, braver (so much braver), so certain and stable and good. But I wanted so badly to catch up, or at least keep close behind, that her being exceptional inspired me to do honestly my best at everything I could: academic, personal, interpersonal, all of it. It was like chasing a star. For our whole final year, we were neck-and-neck for every assignment--she would get an extra mark here, I would get an extra mark there--and I’d never enjoyed learning and “competing” like that before. Not only was she a guiding light for me on that front, someone I wanted to impress and delight, but she also made me rethink my own value, made me reconsider how I saw myself as person.

We got really close. She told me things she wouldn’t tell her other friends. She trusted me with things she didn’t want to say to anyone else. I can remember her once telling me that spending time with me was like sighing, like letting out a breath you’ve been holding onto for so long. She said she didn’t feel she had to put on a face for me: she could be imperfect, scared, tired, stressed, and she felt safe knowing I wouldn’t judge her or think less of her for it. The pressure of being so loved weighed on her, and by that point, I was starting to feel it a little too. We could commiserate over a feeling no-one else really understood.

(I can remember when she found out--through some quiz or another--she was Hufflepuff, and then, after thinking about it, accepted it as a truth. She’d been disappointed. She had been hoping for something with a little more pizzazz, something that felt more centre-stage material--she was an actor, and the best our school had. But I told her how I felt about Hufflepuff, how important I felt it was as a house and an ethos, and how I thought she belonged there, and from then on, she was proud of it. She was proud the way I am of being Slytherin).

So I guess what I’m saying is:

If you’re envisioning Hufflepuffs as weak, or losers, or cowards, or sheep, you’re wrong. If you imagine them as boring or less capable or less active than other houses, you’re wrong.

If the Hufflepuffs in your mind aren’t bright, hopeful, brave, and loving people, you’re not thinking about them properly yet. If they need protecting from the meanness of the world--as compared to the meanness of the world being afraid of them--you don’t understand what they are about. If you haven’t yet realised that people who care about justice, kindness, hard work, and doing what needs to be done will always be among the first to take up the burden of leadership and take responsibility for making change, it’s about time you did.

Truthfully, now more than ever, I think these sorts of people need to be in our stories, and presented with respect and admiration. Caring about things is cool. More than that, it’s necessary. It’s vital. Being a compassionate, sensible person isn’t boring. Hufflepuff in fanon deserves much more than it’s given.

When it comes to friendship between Hufflepuff and Slytherin:

Based purely on my own experience and theorising, Hufflepuff is most likely to offer the olive branch. Slytherin is most likely to respond to kindness, to a commendable work ethic, to the prospect of loyalty and dedication to a cause (i.e., their cause, whatever it might be). Hufflepuff can provide, or guide, a vision: a Slytherin can have faith in it, commit to it, do anything for it and the people they love. When working together, a Slytherin can learn a lot from a Hufflepuff about how to grow and improve and channel their energy and passion into something worthwhile and good for the world. In return, a Slytherin can offer a Hufflepuff a friend who will tirelessly strive to be better, to make them proud, to make the vision a reality, to be what they need them to be, to love them and admire them and trust in them--a friendship that, once earned, is unshakable and full of aspirations.

But the fact is this:

Slytherins need Hufflepuffs way more than Hufflepuffs will ever need Slytherins.

Additionally neat posts:

x, x, x.

#sometimes i have a lot of feelings #not a sonnet #here's to you evening star

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