#how I picture him in lotr

[unavidas]

Glorfindel

[fist-of-vengeance]

last night for my birthday i forced my friends to listen to an hour and a half long powerpoint explaining the entire lost timeline in chronological order. i know lost is a pretty zany show but nothing makes you realize this more than trying to verbally explain time travel and the sideways universe to three people who've never seen it

[mistergandalf]

ULTIMATE TOLKIEN BLORBO ROUND FIVE: SECOND CHANCE BRACKET

ÉOWYN vs. MERIADOC "MERRY" BRANDYBUCK

See the ULTIMATE TOLKIEN BLORBO MASTERPOST for details and follow #ultimate tolkien blorbo to cast your vote for the blorbiest blorbo of all!

[jonnywaistcoat]

Hi Jonny, if you don't mind I have a question about the TMA TTRPG! So I noticed that on the player's guide there's this guy, who my friends and I assumed is probably Jon. If it is him, is this a canon design, or more like some of the non-canon stuff that's in the merch?

So, I hope you don't mind if i use this ask to go a bit off on one. I'm not specifically dragging you (I'm actualy glad you asked, as I've thinking about posting on the topic), but all the discussion around the RPG art and how "official" or "canon" it might be is, to my mind, slightly silly.

First up, is it "official" art? I mean, yeah, its art for the officially licenced Magnus Archives RPG. This means Monte Cook Games have commissioned someone to do a beatiful illustration broadly based on some aspect, episode or character from the podcast and it goes in the book. But that's kinda all it means. "Official" is a legal distinction, not an artistic one. The fact that it's in an official product doesn't make it any less one artist's cool interpretation of a character that has only been vaguely described in audio.

Second, is it Jonathan Sims the Archivist? I mean, it's probably based on the idea of him, but it's certainly not set in stone. When we were first discussing art with MCG, we advised that character pictures be more vibes-based and not explicitly tied to specific people (ie. a portrait inspired by Tim wouldn't be captioned "This is Tim" and wouldn't be placed opposite a profile for Tim Stoker, archival assistant.) This was mainly because we wanted the artists to have plenty of freedom to interpret and not feel too tied down by the need to know everything about the podcast. But, to be frank, it was also because we know that there are a few fans out there that are kinda Not Chill about what they've personally decided these characters look like and can get a bit defensive over depictions that differ.

It strikes me as particularly strange to be having this discussion about art that's for a roleplying game book. Something that's explicitly and solely designed to give you the ability to play in your version of the Magnus universe. The idea that this is the thing where we'd for some reason try to immutably establish unchangable appearances for these characters would be pretty funny if some folks weren't taking it so seriously. Similarly ridiculous is the idea we could reasonably have said to MCG "We'd love for you to make a huge beautiful RPG book of our setting... Just make sure you don't depict any of the iconic characters or events from it!"

But... is it "canon"? Now, to my mind, this highlights a real weakness in a lot of fandom thinking around "canon", which is that it generally has no idea what to do with adaptations. All adaptation is interpretation, and relies on taking a work and letting new creatives (and sometimes the same ones) have a different take on it. Are the appearances of the Fellowship of the Ring in the LOTR movies "canon"? How much, if at all, does that matter? Neil Gaiman's book Neverwhere was originaly a 90s BBC series made with a budget of 50 pence; is anyone who makes fanart of Mr Croup that doesn't look like the actor Hywel Bennet breaking canon? What about the novel that describes the character differently? Or the officially licenced Neverwhere comic where he looks like neither of them? Which is his "canon appearance"?

Canon is an inherently messy concept, and while it is useful for a creative team trying to keep continuity and consistency within a creative work, for thinking about anything beyond that it tends to be more hinderance than help.

Anyway, all this is to say that the above picture and all the others in the RPG are exactly as canon as every other picture you've ever seen of the Archivist.

[first-class-feral]

brad dourif scrungly feature analysis: eyes

from the “Boys” dourif-hottie supercut music video:

I’d love to see an artist break this down!

For now, let me write you a novel about Brad's spectacular eyes...

The Strangeness

(Skip if you want to preserve the mystery.) BD's right eye is placed a little higher, and turned up as if tugged from the outer corner. I think it's part of that subtle something that immediately sets him apart. This unique, catlike, romantic asymmetry snatches your attention.

.

The glow

His striking, chameleonic blues capture light — even in B&W — which directors loooooove to exploit by lighting him obliquely:

It's a great way to crank up the eerie vibe of any scene, and I respect Star Trek for trashing that option outright with all-black contacts. (Of course, he still served an incredibly compelling outsider.)

(Edit: I put up a post just about this effect because they seriously do it all the damn time) (...because it's awesome)

Set in shadows

He has hooded eyes, deep-set and accentuated by heavy eye bags. The shadows and textures draw you in toward those luminescent irises, like picture frames that amplify each motion of his eyes.

.

Contrast

Sometimes he pops them wide open, creating these huge, expressive magnets...

...Or squints lopsidedly...

...Or interrogates, challenges, threatens — alert but defensive, like a prey animal on the edge of lashing out.

He’s said he chooses roles that "turn him on" (pretty clearly in an artistic sense); many of these blend menace and vulnerability, and our boy dumps emotion into every. single. line. This can manifest as an intense, wary, combative look, with eyes wide under neutral or furrowed brows:

.

Cry, baby

...And that's all before we mention the tears. He cries, of course, at will and liberally, and his eyes go red-rimmed and wet, highlighting them even more as he pins someone's soul to the wall with his gaze.

When he hovers right on the edge, they seem to shine in the dark.

.

Bared

At times, his fair eyelashes almost vanish, compounding his unusual look with a birdlike or reptilian tinge.

Obviously, the shaved brows in LOTR add to this effect.

A couple more things you'll notice here: he'll hold his eyes wide open for much longer than normal, drawing out these moments and making him seem even more alien.

And when he gets up-close in someone's face (which is often), he's constantly switching his gaze between their eyes — totally fixated, as if scanning for emotional feedback. In my opinion, it adds to that vulnerability: to the object of his attention, he must seem like a predator freezing them in place... but it's also desperate, like a prey animal trying to decipher the other person's intent, all senses tuned to pick up their slightest signal. (Gríma Wormtongue and Jack Dante especially have this pathetic air about them: grasping at sources of warmth while lashing out at the harsh, unintelligible world around them, allying themselves with uncontrollable destructive forces in an attempt to establish a place for themselves........)

.

TL;DR

The eyes — and how he uses them — are the standout scrungly feature, the main reason we can’t look away from this unforgettable weirdo.

The cat-eye asymmetry pulls focus;

His ice-blue irises are light traps, framed in textured shadow;

His full-bore emotional commitment ramps up the anguish and torment to an aching crescendo that's impossible to ignore.

Eventually I'll follow up on other contributing factors, but for now, I'll leave you with a couple of article snippets about The Eyes:

Imagi-Movies: Vol 1 No 2 — Winter 1993/94. Pages 11-13: "Traumatic - Brad Dourif". Link

SoHo News: November-December 1981. "Tension and mercy - Brad Dourif glowers for our sins" (an article all about his eyes! But they don't mention the asymmetry.)

[Gifs were mostly stolen from the GOAT, @exdeputysonso — with some of my own, mostly the square ones. Shout-out to @dragonsbloodsnowcone for inspiring this word vomit.]

Thanks for reading!

[live-laugh-legolas]

Hiiiiii omg your head canons for the fellowship are so cuttteeee I love it. Do you think you could write how the members of the fellowship would be around a character who has a dragon companion? I’m sorry I know that is soooo weird but I literally love dragons so much and Lotr so y’know. Preferably a f reader or just Gn. Sorry if that’s weird and no pressure!!!!🫶🫶

What a fun prompt! I’ve literally thought about this before. I’m picturing you show up at Rivendell just casually with your dragon. Totally breathes fire because that’s cool as shit.

How the Fellowship reacts to a dragon companion

Aragorn:

-Has to do a double take

-wtf

-He’s a chill dude, but this feels unhinged

-He will introduce himself with you only once you’re not with your fire friend

-Once you introduce the two he’s back to his chill self and act like this is totally normal

Legolas:

-Fascinated, and immediately introduces himself to you and your dragon

-Elves have a way with nature and animals so I don’t think he would be scared

-Wary, maybe, but he just wants to pet it

-He sees is as a big puppy

-Will tell you a billion dragon facts

Gimli:

-Listen, dwarves have a bad record with dragons

-Doesn’t trust you, and certainly can’t believe the “beast” could be friendly

-Keeps his distance and is definitely a bit cold to you like he is to Legolas, at first

-He eventually warms up to you but still doesn’t like your companion

-The dragon wouldn’t hurt him, but he doesn’t know that, and the dragon totally takes advantage of that and will scare him

-“I don’t like the way it looks at me”

-Big “it don’t bite, yes it do!” energy

Boromir:

-I just feel like he would not care

-He would be casual about it like the cave troll

-Totally sees the advantage of having a literal fucking dragon on their team

-Talks to it like a person

Frodo:

-You thought his eyes were big before? Well guess what? They are literal saucers

-Mostly knows only of Smaug so he doesn’t have a particularly positive view on the species

-But he’s also nothing if not curious

-Asks you so many questions

-This I think applies to all the hobbits except maybe Sam, but it would be so cute if they cuddled up with the dragon at night to keep warm

Sam:

-Big nope

-He’s heard Bilbo’s stories

-His main priority is keeping Frodo safe

-Probably wouldn’t warm up until he saw Frodo petting it with a big smile

-Would ask if it wants a bowl of stew when you all settle for the night

-Worried it might eat him if he doesn’t keep it fed

Merry:

-Guess what?! You now have a new biggest fan! Congrats!

-No fear in this hobbit

-Maybe that’s not a good thing, but he’s a confident boy

-“Hypothetically how would one go about acquiring such a creature?” “You can’t have a dragon Merry” “…I was asking for a friend”

-Will brag about knowing you and that he’s friends with a dragon when they eventually get back to the shire

Pippin:

-?????

-So confused

-He must have smoked too much and is now hallucinating

-Once he gets over that shock, he’s probably the type to watch from afar, but weary to ask to pet it

-“Do you think we could roast marshmallows with its breath?”

-It’s a genuine question. And yes, the answer is yes

-That is if you like your marshmallows burnt and basically disintegrated

Gandalf:

-He probably invited you to the council

-Wary because he knows what dragons are capable of, but trusts you so therefore he trusts your judgment

-He’s got his eagles, you’ve got your dragon, unstoppable duo

*Bonus Elrond:

-“Um…whatcha got there?” “A smoothie”

-Wouldn’t let you in until Gandalf convinced him

-Then he just decides he’s seen so much shit that he shouldn’t even be surprised anymore by anything

I definitely don’t love all of these answers, some feel ooc, so as always I may edit when I get a different idea. It’s like how my mind will be blank when doing an assignment but the second I submit it I have so many better answers

[claws-and-all]

My version of Tamlin throughout the years

Emil Andersson

When I first read the series in 2018, I pictured Tamlin to be similar to lotr elves, tall and ethereal. A young Emil Andersson encompassed that for me. It's so nostalgic looking at these pics that I dug up from the archives. This version will always be my favorite ❤️

Luke Eisner

2019 - A year later and still heavily obsessed with Tamlin I found Luke whilst watching Tall Girl. His entrance was literally that heavenly "ahhhhh" music ringing in your head. An absolute stunner of a man. And just like that he became a version of Tamlin. Then you kind of go down a rabbit hole and become obsessed with his music as well (How very Tamlin-esque of him!) - I recommend "Figure You Out" if you'd like to listen, it's their most popular, and Gus's voice is the best thing everrrr!

Sam Reid

2024 - My infatuation with Tamlin had died down and surprisingly HOFAS brought me back into the fandom with full force. A few months back I was looking for something to watch and stumbled onto "Interview With A Vampire", season 2 had just begun and I figured let me give it a chance. Throughout the first season, I kept telling myself to stop turning every blonde man I came across into Tamlin! However, I couldn't stop the urge. Sam Reid is so insanely talented. His acting blew my mind. The way he embodies Lestat makes me wonder how fantastically he would play Tamlin in a live-action (Though I pray to the mother above for acotar to be canned! It's a disaster waiting to happen). To those who watched it, did the last ep of s2 not remind you of a broken Tamlin in his destroyed manor?!

An honorable mention is Brock O'Hurn whom I had recently discovered thanks to @avabrynne

Despite having these celebs as a base for Tam, my mind still conjures up different versions of him depending on how I feel. Some days he's giving lotr, some days he's giving Viking warrior vibes, other days he's a straight-up animated version lol.

What does your version of Tamlin look like?

This post was inspired by @positivelyruined - you had recently posted that Luke will always be your Tam. And @ladydelena - your alphabet post had Sam Reid in the end. I just had to combine both my loves into one post!

[randomfoggytiger]

React: A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try (My Struggle I), Part I

For David Duchovny’s birthday, I put out a poll asking Tumblr which of his projects I should watch for the first time. 

The Revival won. Welp. 

I then, fool that I am, put up another poll wherein I doomed myself by including an option to watch the whole thing. 

And here we are. 

My Struggle I. 

Oh, boy. 

This post will be long because I'm laying the groundwork for the rest of the series.

MY MODUS OPERANDI

I don’t care how cute or cuddly or happy or heartfelt individual MSR moments are, popcorn will be thrown if those scenes are achieved through incomplete, inane, or nonsensical plot points. Give me 1+1=2 or give me death.

The Revival is part of a whole that includes all of Seasons 1-9 and Fight the Future and I Want to Believe. As much as I prefer to distance this series from canon, the reality that it functions as a direct follow-up remains; and it needs to be judged accordingly.

And, as always, I separate the art from the artist~.

...WELP. It’s time to face my doom. 

Let's go!

MY STRUGGLE IV

The intro’s… fine. Engaging, even. 

I did notice, though: the last series and Fight the Future and I Want to Believe began with the same formula: glimpses from what will be an x-files case, then straight to Scully’s perspective. Usually Mulder’s narration and POV didn’t feature until the tail-end of a two or three parter, i.e. Redux or Amor Fati or… well, even then, it was juxtaposed against Scully’s. 

Scully was the voice of The X-Files-- even Chris Carter noted that her report of each episode’s casefile became a motif of the show. Mulder’s narration was rare, very rare, even in episodes that were written to focus on him. 

A definite and purposed choice, to be sure. Mulder as an active agent in his own story. …OR a story that focuses on Mulder’s voice instead of Scully’s. 

We shall see. 

The intro continues; and it’s still engaging, possibly gripping (too bad I know where this leads)... but the music got a bit LOTR there. Is that just me? Seems… mellow, orchestral, a little more fantasy than sci-fi. Am I nitpicking? Maybe. 

The BIBLE references UFOs?? Lol, no. (Unless you count the objects described in Revelations-- the book, not the episode-- but even then, those are largely considered to be drones, not UFOs.)

Chris Carter, I see you. 

(Note from the future: NOW I see why the Bible bit was included-- lots of heavy-handed "God means this, Scully" in order to get her on-board to join the files. Ugh.)

…They’re really doubling down on the UFO lore, huh. All of which evaporated because of global warming, I guess. 

GUYS, why couldn’t this have been about life on Earth after Colonization?????

It fits with the disaster footage, it fits with Mulder’s voiceover, it fits with the character progression from Season 9 (I GUESS), it fits with a whooooooooooole ton of other factors. 

I’ve never been one for wanting Colonization in canon, but it literally would have worked for this series. There wouldn't need to be a complete wipeout of humanity, maybe just a “disaster happened, but the humans are fighting back” scenario. 

And that would fit with Mulder and Scully’s "breakup", PERHAPS-- they spent so much time working, trying to save the world (she in science, he on the ground or with untainted factions who coalitioned post-Colonization) that their relationship cracks would need to be actively worked through. Not broken up so much as together and repairing.

It would also help CC and co. to avoid the tempest of modern US politics and the more mainstream conspiracies that were taking hold at that time-- a broader reach to all audiences, a "bigger picture" for everyone to unite under.

(Guys, they should have let me write for this show. …I take it back, I’d have quit after three days.) 

Also: The show writers spent all their brain power on this sequence and this sequence alone, didn’t they? 

Obiwan Kenobi and Military Man are going on a bus somewhere.  

...On closer inspection, neither man looks like anything like Obiwan Kenobi, but the nickname is staying.

We’re back to Scully at a hospital-- not unlike I Want to Believe’s opening.

Skinner called? Oh. Didn’t know he was “here” this early. 

WAIT. 

Wait, wait, wait. 

Scully just called up Mulder like nothing’s a big deal? He answered like nothing’s a big deal? She’s smiling over his joke from the get-go?

…And we’re supposed to believe they’re seriously broken up. Which the show will insist is the case. 

David and Gillian really said, “Script? What script?” and did what they wanted. I salute them. 

Also, “What’s happening out there, Scully?” is a great line to point to Mulder’s continued isolation… which the series will IMMEDIATELY toss aside because he’s, apparently, not been as much of a hermit lately? (Granted, this could be a joke at his own expense because he’s no longer claimed by ~the darkness~, but…. I don’t think the writing’s gonna be that clever, I’ll be honest.)  

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. 

Fine, I admit it. 

I’m loving this so far. 

And that’s gonna make me even angrier later on. 

“Why doesn’t he [Skinner] just call me?”

“He doesn’t know how to reach you, Mulder. I barely know myself.”

Mulder is baffled and a tinge annoyed, Scully is amused and straight shooting. 

THERE IS NO HINT, BEHAVIOR, OR MANNERISM SUGGESTING THEY’VE BROKEN UP. None. At all. He’s isn’t reluctant to answer her call, isn’t sad or withdrawn, isn’t affected by anything she’s saying other than to be teasy or poky. She isn’t hesitant to call, isn’t sad or depressed, isn’t anything other than a little pleased to dangle a juicy tidbit in front of Mulder’s face. 

This is gonna follow IWTB’s ping-pong writing-- they’re fun and in-character, they’re suddenly out-of-character, they’re fun and in-character, they’re suddenly out-of-character, etc. etc. etc.-- isn’t it?

(Mulder taping over his laptop’s webcam is a great touch and not something at all that I’ve done before. At all.) 

“I thought you were done with UFOs-- the ‘stranglehold they put on your very existence’, I believe you put it.” 

“I’m just the messenger, Mulder.”

That’s GOOD, that’s necessary writing. That’s planting the seeds of what happened between them, what led to a cooldown or a breakup or a whathaveyou. AND STILL neither character acts as if they’ve broken up: no melancholy, no sadness, no nothing. 

Mulder’s timbre became a little sardonic while quoting back her words, but that doesn’t mean they’ve broken up. If anything, that points to a bicker and line-in-the-sand between them-- him bringing up UFOs at the dinner table and her reminding him to talk to someone else about it before turning the topic to how the lettuce is growing or something.

Neither actor is performing like one would if pain and trauma and heartbreak and distance were placed between them; and that really complicates things because the breakup is built on top of the aforementioned list of struggles. 

Would Mulder have dug his heels in post 2012, seeing it as a sign that “the aliens” just changed their plans? Yes. 

Would Scully have seen a pursuit down that rabbit hole as a waste of time? Debatable. The Truth S9 Scully wouldn’t have-- the aliens are still out there; and they cost her months of her life, months of Mulder’s abduction, months of Mulder’s death, months of Mulder’s separation, and the ultimate cost: William’s adoption and their life on the run. Post The Truth Scully would have seen this as her quest, too: she won’t give up, she says in the finale, because he won’t. 

IWTB Scully, however, would- and that's a problem. 

I’ve already discussed, at length, how out-of-character Scully was in I Want to Believe (posts here.) Although Mulder doesn’t escape from the same writing blunders, she is really, really scalped: of her courage, of her will, of her determination. 

Whenever Scully gave up, in canon, it was only because she thought she was holding Mulder back, or when she felt Mulder had lost his faith and trust in her. That held true in Season 9-- despite the appalling writing choices there, too-- but didn’t in IWTB. 

The Revival had the perfect opportunity to factory reset the writers' mistakes: portray a wiser duo who continue to fight the fight according to their strengths, like they always have before Mulder ever met Scully. (When Mulder tells Scully to set up a meeting with Skinner, he adds, “Don’t pretend I’m going alone”-- which reinforces my point.) 

But I know that's not going to happen.  

Scully goes without argument-- THAT’S GOOD, THAT’S GOOD CHARACTER WRITING. At this point in the game, of course she would-- they trust each other, they have for years, they’d have reached even deeper levels after going on the run for [insert math] years. All good things! 

The problem: this will create a huge conflict with her actions later.

(I’m already so disappointed.) 

“Uber?”/”Hitchhiking. Relax, Scully, I’m kidding” was a fun modernization of their humor, I’ll take it. 

This scene is starting to highlight the distance between them, which is all well-and-good, but feels tonally different from the previous scene. As in, their two scenes were definitely filmed on different days, in different moods, and with different intents. 

She’s worried about him, with tears in her eyes; he has his walls up; there’s distance, as previously noted. 

“Good for you to get out of that little house every once in a while”/”Certainly was good for you” is followed up with knowing, indulgent, pleased smiles and you expect me to believe these two are seriously broken up. Nope. I’ve seen Scully sad but amused, I’ve seen Scully too sad to be amused, but these two? This moment? Nah.

Tonally dissonant-- the IWTB problem: at-ease and close one minute, at-odds and distant the next. Hoorayyyyyy....

None of this makes sense for a long-term, permanent (as Scully infers later to someone else) breakup. Nor for a short-term, semi-permanent one. Math doesn’t math. 

“I’m always happy to see you,” she says, implying he's the one who permanently pulled away… which will be contradicted later this very episode. 

“I’m always happy to find a reason [to leave the house],” he says, somberly. 

Both of which are odd lines. 

If he’s happy to leave the house to see her… why hasn’t he? 

If she’s happy to see him, always, but says a relationship between them was "impossible" (which she will later), why is Scully staring at him with heart eyes, hoping he gets better so they can continue their relationship? (And mark my words, this tone underscores her interactions with him the rest of this series.) 

Tad’s here. He’s... fine. He represents the overly cautious very well. At least he hasn’t gone full Alex Jones mockumentary (...yet.) 

I’ve heard criticisms that Mulder and Scully don’t act like themselves in this series, but based off the few minutes I’ve seen here… I don’t agree. 

The essence is the same. Truly. Scully’s got the same face that lights up the same way, Mulder’s got the same expressions and young-at-heart humor. Neither are really melancholic. Neither are David or Gillian esque. 

Perhaps that will change. 

(Note from the future: OH BOY. Which Mulder and Scully are we talking here-- OG Mulder and Scully? Nope. IWTB Mulder and Scully? Yep. David and Gillian? Once or twice.)

But, again, their interactions feel… wasted. Hollow. They’re supposed to be broken up, but their breakup doesn’t contribute to their interactions or the plot. They’re supposed to have suffered and are working back to each other… but they aren’t really separated, haven’t seemed to suffer (note from future: except for one scene which comes outta nowhere), and won’t collapse back together on-screen.

They’re supposed to be wiser and more mature, but they’ll still engage in a silly will-they-won’t-they while Mulder eats up the latest UFO or conspiracy slop he’s either already engaged in or debunked [insert math] years ago and Scully clings to her cowardice like a leech. 

First nagging problem: Scully smiling at Tad, Scully excusing Mulder’s mannerisms when he becomes briefly jealous, Scully making nice with a conspiracy nut. 

…Isn’t that Mulder’s job? Didn't she leave because conspiracies were consuming her life? Does this mean she actually does want this life back but is she playing coy or elusive because...?

Furthermore, when Mulder popped a comment off to a witness or informant in the past, Scully never excused him-- just breezed over it professionally with another question. She’s only saying “excuse him” here because she’s taken a shine to Tad. WHY, on this post-2012 global warming green Earth, WOULD SHE?

Tad says Mulder is the X-Files, Mulder says that “book is closed”... WAIT. Wait, hold up--

Pause. Stop. Rewind. 

Mulder wants to believe. Actual proof is hard to come by. 

Tad thinks Mulder is the X-Files. 

MULDER SAYS… *ahem*... Mulder says, “I’m afraid that book is closed.” …Which means he’s no longer into UFOs or aliens, too. SO. why did Scully LEAVE.

If that’s behind him, why aren’t they together again???? Mulder didn’t know who Tad O’Malley was a minute or so ago, meaning he’s been outta the conspiracy scene for a bit. That MEANS his departure from Conspiracyville's been long enough to patch-up his obsession and ensuing depression, I guess.

But then... what about Scully??

Because Mulder wants her to come back (already subtly established in each scene), and Scully is concerned for his welfare; but Scully thinks he’s still into UFO conspiracy and hasn’t come back because of it? BUT SHE ISN’T SHOCKED WHEN HE SAYS “I’m afraid that book is closed” MEANING SHE KNOWS HE’S PUT THAT BEHIND HIM... BUT STILL HASN’T RETURNED?

And both of them aren’t acting as if they’ve broken up, anyway, except for a pointed line of dialogue here and a brief reaction there before they yeet back to the status quo.

They’ve left that behind them, Scully says, for better or worse. And Mulder latches onto that better or worse, making a pointed barb at their breakup, but…. There’s no writing glue, just suggestion and inference; and the suggestions themselves don’t add up. 

Here come the bullet points. 

Season 10 posits Mulder became depressed after the aliens didn’t invade in 2012-- that’s reasonable and logical, his nature is depressive when his expectations are subverted or smashed or etc. 

Season 10 also posits Scully left because Mulder became too much to deal with. That’s… not logical, since her nature is to rescue and nurture, even when Mulder’s being an actual boil on her sittin’ cheeks (ala Demons, etc., etc.) 

Season 10 posits Mulder’s hard to get a hold of-- despite being in the same house the FBI helicoptered to in IWTB-- and posits it might be hard for Scully to get a hold of him-- despite the fact both characters easily got in contact, knew it was each other, and even joked about the fact it’s hard to get in contact with Mulder… which means it really isn't. (The script doesn’t catch these discrepancies, of course, pretending Mulder is very hidden away at the same ol' house he'd been discovered at in 2008.) 

Season 10 says Scully doesn’t want UFOs to be part of her life anymore, that it was a stranglehold… yet she came along on a conspiracy gig without question to… what? Be around Mulder? But then, why warm up to the conspiracy guy-- an embodiment of what drove her and her partner apart?

Season 10 posits Mulder chased Scully off with his conspiracy spiraling YET ALSO states he’s put that part of his life-- conspiracies, UFOs, the X-Files-- behind him. Which implies: A. Mulder’s aaaaaaall better now and B. he put that all behind him but Scully never came home and C. Scully shouldn’t know he put that all behind him if that’s what’s keeping her away; but she does know because his declaration doesn’t take her by surprise, which means she’s still driven away and concerned for him for no discernable reason.  

Season 11 posits Scully didn’t leave because Mulder became too much to deal with but because she, too, had issues to deal with. This point wasn't mentioned or hinted at in the episode that introduces their breakup, which makes that line of reasoning a complete rewrite. (Whatever. I’ll judge how well that’s executed when I get there.)

It doesn’t add up. 

Are we surprised. 

Five seconds after this, I had to listen to a back-and-forth between Tad O’Malley and Mulder on conspiracies and Conservatives and alien beliefs and the O’Reilly Factor and….

This seems out of touch, I’m not sorry. 

When this show aired, Conservatives already had their miles-long conspiracy theories. For Mulder to be ignorant of that fact while allegedly knowing exactly who and what Tad believes while also alleging….

More bullet points!

Fox “I’m afraid that book is closed” Mulder has, supposedly, been out of the conspiracy scene. 

Fox “I’m afraid that book is closed” Mulder isn’t aware that not only did 2015 Conservatives believe in aliens-- despite the fact Tad is a watered-down copy-paste of Alex Jones-- but that there were also Conservative believers in the 90s (who were a fringe in their own group, but.) This was Mulder’s expertise; and his eidetic memory isn’t likely to have tossed that info because it was no longer relevant to his life. 

Fox “I’m afraid that book is closed” Mulder has supposedly not been out of the conspiracy scene-- despite saying he is-- because he does know who Tad O’Malley is-- despite not knowing who he was two minutes ago. 

Mulder is assuming that Conservatives “of your credentials” don’t believe in UFOs or “9/11 false-flag conspiracies” despite people from the Left, Center, and Right publicly believing those conspiracies in 2015. 

Fox “I’m afraid that book is closed” Mulder is supposed to be dismantling Tad’s grift; but he (and the writers) sound uneducated and incredibly out-of-touch during this dialogue-- as if all Conservatives were still Bush-era believers. Most were suspicious of the government by this time (they helped elect a man who ran on a “drain the swamp” campaign, after all.) Mulder’s bewilderment here is old and tired, even by 2015 standards. 

This writing is flashy-- long sentences, quick back-and-forths-- but poorly constructed and badly executed. 

This is also the first segment where David Duchovny is peeking through Fox Mulder; where Scully is swinging wildly between absolutely-fine-with-Mulder and we’re-no-longer-together; and where we, the audience, are being force-fed that only one side of the political aisle believes in aliens-- or the Bigger Question or whatever-- on a show that wants to poke at unfounded conspiracy beliefs.

Oh, look! Scully made a Scully-face, so everything’s good now! 

(UuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH--)

Sveta. Aww, I like her--

“You don’t remember me.”

“No, I think I’d remember.”

WHAT WAS THAT. 

Show writers, STOP with the romantic triangulation, it’s NOT. GONNA. HAPPEN. David doesn’t even TRY to make that romantic-ish. Yet you angle on Scully’s face as if she’s supposed to be out-of-the-loop and a tinge jealous. 

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, hoooooooooooooooooooold up. 

Svetta was a dark-haired little girl Mulder interviewed after her first abduction, meaning she’s set up to be another Samantha. 

So…………………. What’s with the murky jealousy issue, CHRIS. You wedged it in solely so Scully would feel jealous over Mulder? Y’know. Like I Want to Believe? 

And I say Chris Carter because he wanted to play the breakup angle:

"We do it in an interesting way," Carter told The Hollywood Reporter. "We put some of the tension back in that was relieved by them being together. It added to the storytelling opportunities. It's something that I came up with; I had been thinking about it. There was always talk of [breaking them up] if we did another movie."

The first shot canon takes right between the eyes:

Scully being “familiar” with the “screen memories” abductees are given was a cool touch… except she’s never been given “screen memories.” The abductees in Jose Chung’s From Outer Space were given screen memories-- she was returned a blank slate. (Even Mulder didn’t have “screen memories” after his abduction.) 

Scully poking Sveta about aliens taking her unborn fetuses seems a tad (heh) strong except all the alien-related pregnancies have been the result of government testing, not alien probes. So. If this scene followed canon's rules, her skepticism would be warranted.

But this skepticism is still odd. 

Two seconds ago, she was making nice to Tad O’Malley in the car, and now she’s leading the questioning for Sveta. The odd icing on top of this odd cake is that Scully left because she didn’t want UFOs to have a stranglehold on her life, yet here she is leading an interview with an abductee.

Sveta: “I have alien DNA, for sure.”

Scully: “Have you had a doctor confirm that?”

Sveta: “No.”

Me, too, Mulder. Me, too. 

Scully doesn’t question the alien DNA bit, so that’s good. 

…I’ll bet everyone forgets she and Mulder have a bit lingering in their systems from the black oil and his brain thingy and residue from when she touched the ship and and and. 

“Something you can test. Dana.” 

What… what was that. 

Honestly, what was that. Whatever mood David was conveying through Mulder, it didn’t match anything from any previous scenes, let alone this one.

Is he poking at Scully? Why? He’s not jealous anymore (if he even was.) The way he says it and her expression in response implies they have a tense back-and-forth going on, but they don’t. THEY DON’T. 

We’re 13 minutes in and I could make another numerical list. But I won’t. Yet.  

Back to not-Obiwan Kenobi and Military Man. 

That alien’s stupid bad-looking. 

Wait. 

That’s not how canon said Roswell unfolded. 

And the first alien shot on Earth was by Deep Throat’s hands-- that was his whole turning-point backstory. 

CURSE YOU, LACK OF A SHOW BIBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

(Note from the future: All of that past canon? Fake. Faked. All lies. None of that happened.)

“What have you done??” Not-Obiwan Kenobi yells… and what have they done? 

Back to Scully and Sveta. 

Sveta can move things with her mind-- not all the time-- but at least Scully is listening to her claims without automatically shutting them down. 

But also…

“I can move things. With my mind,” should have IMMEDIATELY had a greater impact on Scully, up-close-and-personal as she was to her son’s abilities. But nope! No reaction! Of course! 

Sveta “You were together but now you’re not” is asking the right questions. I don’t even mind Sveta. I’ll bet this episode’s the last time we see her, though. 

Does she contribute to anything? No. But she’s nice, so. 

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 

Scully diagnosed-- wait, hold up, list time. 

Scully diagnosed Mulder with depression. 

That killed their relationship. 

…THAT killed their relationship? After everything? 

The writers are going to have to explain, in detail, why that killed it. 

Why does canon need to explain? Because we have a history of Scully sticking by Mulder during the worst periods of both their lives-- leaving him would have to require a very, very good reason.

And there is no indication, thus far, that Mulder’s depression drove a humungous wedge between them, forcing her to walk away. In fact, there is no indication a wedge exists between them, AT ALL-- only the odd, inconsistent word or phrase here or there that bears no weight on the plot or their ultimate decisions.

Whenever Scully left in canon, it was because she could no longer help Mulder. Season 11 will rewrite Season 10’s initial explanation but setting that aside: we’re not given any indication that she did try to help him; or that his depression was so deep and so dangerous that it drove her away.

And if it were that deep or that dangerous enough to drive her away, Scully leaving would have been the last and worst possible action she could have taken. If Mulder's mental state was in such a massive nose-dive that she couldn’t handle what he was going through, Scully-- a medical professional-- would have had him hospitalized, even temporarily against his will, because she would know (per Demons or Gethsemane or Amor Fati) that this level of depression always manifested in suicidal tendencies for her partner.

But Mulder, as per the rules laid out in this episode, never went that far in his deterioration. (Note from the future: We'll get to that.)

If he had, Skinner would have been aware of his hospitalization and wouldn’t have asked for his help; Scully would have been aware and wouldn’t have passed on the information; and Scully wouldn’t have called from the hospital with a degree of buoyancy when relaying Skinner's request to Mulder. 

In short: Scully leaving = very big, very drastic measure. Mulder suffering from depression = very big, very bad consequences. Scully's nature and past actions = getting Mulder help, even if he resists at first (i.e. shooting him in the shoulder to save his life.) Mulder and Scully's partnership = unbroken, except through distrust or botched writing.

“And you have a child together.”

Wow, that wasn’t clunky at all. 

SCULLY STICKS SVETA HARD WITH A NEEDLE BECAUSE SVETA MENTIONS WILLIAM, darkly saying "That's enough", SO SVETA WOULD KNOW SHE DID IT ON PURPOSE.

I’m… so disgusted. Like, eck. Urk. Awful. 

Telling Sveta to back off, strongly, would be in-character; USING PAIN TO DO SO is…. So wrong on so many levels. Scully never utilized medicine to inflict pain or injury on her enemies.

Wow, this grossed me out. You know why?

Scully diagnosed Mulder with depression and left. At first glance, that seem like an out-of-character action that the writing can salvage later by this or that means.

BUT THEN, Scully inflicts pain on Sveta for mentioning William, leaving the audience with the impression that she’s vindictive. 

Which then connects the dots between “vindictive” and “left Mulder when he was diagnosed with depression.”

And since we, the audience, haven’t been given a stronger reason for how Mulder’s depression got that bad or why she didn’t help him through it, we’re then left with a sour impression of Scully’s character. 

The writers then try to imply Sveta was spilling out Scully’s personal secrets to prove that her powers were real, but that still doesn’t give Scully the right to abuse her power. Especially because a traumatized woman was trying any method possible to be believed.

And the fact that Sveta is also victim of the government weaponizing science and medicine makes me even angrier at Scully.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, BOY, another helicopter outside the Unremarkable House, my favorite part of IWTB....

Mulder’s never seen… an alien replica vehicle. 

Oh, my mistake: “No. Never. Not like that.” Covering all the bases, I see. Y’know, in case the writers FORGOT MULDER SAW ONE in SEASON 1, EPISODE 2. 

OH, LOOK, he’s got his wonder face back, everything’s aaaaaaaaaaaaall better now!

Running on free energy they’ve had since the 40s, sure Jan. Whatever you say. 

This just feels so old. Like. Tech we haven’t had since the 40S, GUYS, GET IT, BIG MONEY CORPOS KEPT IT FROM US. Yeah, we got it. 

And the flashbacks to Not-Obiwan Kenobi just walking off with an alien corpse because Military Man didn’t… see… value in studying… it. I guess. 

Scully doing “God’s work” giving kids ears because their biology neglected it.

I admit, that’s an intriguing window into her perspective of God vs. science, and how she sees a person’s biology separate from God messing them over or messing them up just because. I dig it.

(Note from the future: This will be used as a plotline club rather than a nuanced discussion of her faith.)

Mulder being the most challenging relationship she’s ever had-- “and the most impossible”-- is a weird line. Because yes, it’s true that their relationship is challenging; but her fervor at impossible is the only time in this episode we see an adversarial tendency, DESPITE My Struggle I trying to drum up moments to prove TENSIONS still LINGER (they don't.) 

It’s IWTB all over again. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. 

“Yeah. I got that impression.” Tad says, and Scully’s hurt because she thinks Mulder gave Tad that impression of her. 

So. So. Wait. 

Scully lied when she stated “It’s impossible” because she didn't like Tad poking into her private affairs?

But she sounded truly convinced their relationship was "impossible" while saying it.

So, she was either angry or still confused about her emotions-- which is fine, Scully's not always in-tune with her inner workings-- when Tad replied, "I got that impression."

Which explains why she was so hurt at Mulder's seeming rejection.

Because she thinks Mulder’s behavior led Tad to that conviction.

Which means CC just wants Mulder and Scully to be caught in a miscommunication fic.

Also, why is Tad so sad about this? Were they his OTP, or is he pretending to sympathize to get in Scully’s pants? Because that’d be crummy, Chris, to have her be overly nice to Tad only for him to try to twist that into an opening as the new conspiracy guy on the block. 

On a lighter note, Chris Carter said Mulder and Scully could still get it in their 50s, so there’s that.

HE DID, HE DID SET SCULLY UP TO BE PURSUED BY TAD--

WHAT. WHAT. WHAT WHAT WHAT--

KNOCK IT OFF, CHRIS. 

Poor Sveta. She’s gonna be butchered in this script, isn’t she?

The series is EATING up vast amounts of time with very little scale or grounding. For all I know, a day or a week could have passed. 

It’s so, so badly paced. 

Mulder’s investigating now, without Scully, because he noticed Sveta had a tell during the interview. 

Um. 

Sure, that’s a Mulder thing to do.

Oh, wait. This is the “work of men” realization.   

The dialogue between Mulder’s questions and Sveta’s answers are really disjointed, as if they’re mildly talking past each other-- another aspect of IWTB I couldn’t stand. 

Welp, at least it’s easy to prove they were both written by the same people. 

The second shot-in-the-head for canon: 

“Sveta, who took your babies?” 

“Men.”

“Men? Humans? You saw their faces.” 

Also, Sveta’s babies are referred to as her babies, but William-Jackson isn’t Scully’s baby despite sharing half her DNA but Emily Sim was Scully’s baby despite also only sharing half her DNA.

It’s a mess. 

Well… Mulder doesn’t seem too surprised here that men were involved in her abductions (I mean, he's long since been aware the government was involved from day one, so.) It’d be really stupid if the writing made him surprised about this later, wouldn’t it?

…Wouldn’t it?

Another poorly constructed set of lines:

“I haven’t worked for them [the government] in years.” 

“But you always wondered… if they were lying to you, too.” 

No, he didn’t wonder-- he believed it.

A wonky way to address his old skepticisms, for sure. 

JUST AFTER I NOTED THAT MULDER DIDN’T LOOK SURPRISED AT SVETA'S REVELATION, HE CALLS UP SCULLY AND MAKES A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT BEING A CONSPIRACY OF MEN. 

I knew this was coming, but maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan that was so, so poorly handled.

SCULLY WAS GETTING (sort of) WINED AND DINED BY TAD O’MALLEY??????????????

I HATE IT HERE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WHAT IS HAPPENING, WHAT IN THE WORLD AND WHY, HOW COULD YOU BE SO EASILY FLEECED, DANA, THIS ISN’T AN ED JERSE PARALLEL BECAUSE YOU THINK MULDER DOESN’T WANT YOU, THIS IS STUPID, THIS IS THIS IS THIS IS

WHAT. 

I thought Scully had dated Tad O’Malley in the past (sometime after the breakup) but this is worsefarworse. 

SVETA IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING, I’M SO TIRED. 

“Mulder, where are you going?” sounds exactly like Scully, and now I’m mad Gillian didn’t use that voice for the rest of the show (voice recovery aside....)

I KNEW SKINNER WAS BEHIND GETTING THEM BACK. He just calls up Scully to call Mulder up, then just unlocks the old office when Mulder wants to get back in. 110% Skinner thought this would help his buddy Mulder. And he’s not wrong. 

Wait. 

Did Skinner put in more effort to save Mulder from his mental health struggles (per this My Struggle I episode) than Scully??????

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-- my brain is broken. 

The hold on Skinner’s face while he says “Can you tell me what this is about” was way too long. 

Also, don’t try to play coy with me, Skinman. 

Now the camera’s zooming around and losing its “X-Files” feel by being too… modern. 

Skinner telling Mulder to calm down is the only time in canon where I agree with him. Mulder’s just spouting and demanding and not really making clear sense and this is why you don't let Mulder back into his basement without Scully by his side, Skinner-- don’t you remember that lesson?

Skinner telling Mulder to calm down then saying he doesn’t take orders from him only for Mulder to say “Who do you take orders from?”, ugh.

GUYS, THIS WAS RESOLVED IN SEASON. 2. BECAUSE MULDER KNEW MEN WERE BEHIND THE CONSPIRACY SINCE SEASON 1, EPISODE 2; AND SKINNER SINCE SEASON 2, EPISODE ASCENSION.

BECAUSE SKINNER’S ALREADY HAD HIS LOYALTY TESTED AND THIS IS HURTING MY BRAIN MAKE IT END.

I’m not even 25 minutes into this, help. 

“Why do you think I called you? Because I was looking out for you, because I’ve always looked out for you.” Is… is Skinner the only character who’s progressed? That’s exactly what he would do-- he’s acting sensibly, rationally, and in-character... and more mature, more veteran, than his agents.

I know the Revival is supposed to be “Mulder and Scully all grown-up” but none of their actions have been intelligent, measured, or informed by their age or life experience. It’s a farce that I hope future episodes will rectify. 

“A decade of my life--” Mulder rants and kicks his poster like a toddler AND YOU KNEW ALL THIS INFORMATION FROM SEASON 1, MULDER. NONE OF THIS IS NEW. WWWWWWWWWWWWWWHAT IS THIS. 

I can’t imagine how disappointed philes were when they tuned into this episode. Well... I can because of how I feel; but at least I knew, roughly, how bad it would be going in. 

This is worse. 

Skinner: “You’re blaming me for that?”

Mulder: “No, I’m blaming myself. I’m sure they lied to you, too.” 

This isn’t a revelation, chump. 

At least Skinner confirms my theory: “There hasn’t been a day since you’ve left that I haven’t reached for my phone to call you, Mulder, wishing you were still down here.” 

Feral Mulder is touched. 

“Since 9/11--” OH NO, WHY ARE WE GOING THERE “--this country’s taken a big turn and in a very strange direction.”

Guys. Guys. This isn’t… this… what. 

“Now they police us, spy on us, and tell us that makes it safer--” CAN THE WRITERS GET OFF A SOAP BOX FOR FIVE SECONDS. Of course it isn’t safer to be unnecessarily policed or spied on, but the answer isn't just "boo, the government!" What… why… my brain’s melting, I feel it deteriorating. 

This, again, feels so Bush-era. Like, whoever wrote this didn’t update their mentality. 

Also, the camera shots and cuts are weird. Holding too long, zooming out at “pause and take THAT in” moments, focusing on Mulder’s phone while he silently calls up Skinner to prove a point… it’s supremely unsubtle.

Back to Tad, I don’t care. You did this to yourself, Scully, cozying up only to be used as a name drop on his show. Stupid. 

Is Scully gonna be shocked she has alien DNA? She shouldn’t be. 

But then again, Mulder shouldn’t be shocked this has all been a work of men, so. 

She’s expecting-- no, hoping-- for a call from somebody named Mulder. 

Sure, they’re broken up with hard feelings. Sure. Absolutely. 

Is this old man Not-Obiwan Kenobi?  

Of course.

At least Mulder seems old hat at this informant business. 

But of course, he’s “not even close” to putting it all together. 

Stupid. 

WAIT.

The countdown was WRONG-- Mulder states it began, not ended in 2012, meaning he's believed this theory for some time. Meaning... why was he so depressed after 2012? Why are there still depression concerns in 2015?? Seriously, what's with his depression if the 2012 Colonization was allegedly the cause of it but there is no Colonization and the clock's simply been reset????

WHY WAS HE DEPRESSED IF HE RECONFIGURED THE COUNTDOWN. WHAT.

Mulder: "Not by aliens, not with aliens, but by a conspiracy of men--"

“You’re wasting my time.” Tell him, old man Not-Obiwan Kenobi!

“Ten years ago, you came to me--”

Wait, ten years ago? What, 2005? The guy showed up while Mulder was on the run? And Scully never… knew about this?

There were no aliens lighting each other on fire??????????????????? WAIT, I NEVER HEARD THIS INFORMATION. 

THERE WERE NEVER ALIENS, AT ALL???????????????????? Like, AT ALL????? 

The writers are saying that Scully's experience on Ruskin Dam in Season 5 was not two warring alien factions BUT TWO GROUPS OF MEN LIGHTING EACH OTHER ON FIRE, OR GIVING EVERYONE FALSE MEMORIES OF ALIENS LIGHTING EACH OTHER ON FIRE, OR...??????

hONESTLY. 

Let's be real specific for a second: Chris Carter expects us to believe that the ENTIRE mytharc from the original show was ALL faked; that there were no aliens, ZERO, ZILCH; and that CSM and Deep Throat and all the others created elaborate schemes JUST to manipulate MULDER because the aliens weren't a threat from the start????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? DON’T BELIEVE YOUR LYING EYES. THEY WERE ALL MEN IN SUITS.

Like… do you realize how stupid that is? How actually, unfathomably stupid that is? It’s not just “the aliens didn’t invade because of global warming,” no, it’s “they were never a problem to begin with, we just manipulated Mulder into believing they were because… because he’s so important, I GUESS.”

Roswell’s also a smokescreen, of course. 

Y’know how, during the 90s, DD thought The X-Files was a stupid sci-fi show? If he thought each mytharc plot was as bad as this one, no wonder he wanted to bail. 

Oh, by the way, the global warming explanation is part of a theory: the fascist elites will dominate the world and escape from consequences into space, leading the rest of humanity to die by a globally warmed planet. The aliens weren't chased off by global warming because they were never a factor to begin with.

Wow.

I CAUGHT A CONTINUITY ERROR!

Scully shows up at his place in her uniform from yesterday, panicked, like she’d just run from Tad’s side to see what happened despite her saying over a day has passed.

Going to ignore his “What are you doing here, Scully?” because we’ve ping-ponged back to the out-of-character Mulder that the writers use when it’s time to remind everyone he and Scully are broken up. 

It’s IWTB all over again, I’m so tired. 

They’re talking past each other and he’s touching her shoulders now because he needs her to trust him and yadda yadda yadda. 

It’s soooo, sooooo, soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo highschool, I’m sorry. This is Riverdale. This is [insert whatever teen series you want to watch.] These are teenagers masquerading as adults, for the angst.

None of this holds up, their emotions shift left and right without provocation, things just happen, and there is no strand of continuity stringing anything together.

Scully trying to talk Mulder down from further pursuit doesn’t make sense because, AGAIN, she’s the one who's always gone back to the files even when he walks away; and every time he’s given up, or wanted to, SHE'S called him back and held him accountable and kept him going. 

This is the Scully from IWTB with no gumption of her own, who denies her leaps forward because of plot, plot, plot. 

Guys, I’ve been religiously dosing myself with caffeine (via chocolate), but my body keeps trying to make me go to sleep because it’s so uninvested. I don't even need sleep.

“This is my life, this is, this is everything I believe in--” HOW. MANY. TIMES. Has he said this before. WHEN HAS THAT LINE EVER WORKED ON SCULLY.

But that's beside the point: "this" was no longer his life after Amor Fati, by his own choice. Closure brought him closure, but he was already spittin' walk-away talk by Requiem, chose to leave in Vienen, and insisted Scully stay gone in Alone. In Season 9, it was Scully who had to beg him into hiding to pursue the Truth or whatever; and it was Scully who brought him the case in IWTB and Scully who relayed Skinner's request and tagged along both times until she got uncomfy and decided never mind, too hard.

Y’know? This claim gets to me because it’s a lie. A lie so blatant that 90s Mulder would have thrown hands over it, a lie so baseless that it erases his declaration in the hallway:

“I don’t know if I want to do this alone. I don’t even know if I can.” And every time Mulder yells his “THIS IS MY LIFE”, he erases that part of his past, the part that willingly left the files or the big Truth or the next chase to save Scully’s life or to keep her by his side. 

Chris Carter said Mulder and Scully were The X-Files post The Truth… but I guess he keeps conveniently forgetting that. More accurately, he keeps making MULDER forget that, in spite of all evidence in Mulder’s history and personality to the contrary. 

It infuriates me. 

“Tad O’Malley is a charming man--” get outta here. 

Now Scully’s been played the fool so she’s going to think Mulder’s being toyed around with by a social media sociopath. You’re an idiot, Scully. 

You’re an idiot, Mulder. 

You expect us to be idiots, writers. 

Here’s some ham-fisted “Fate” dialogue for you, *ahem*:

Scully: “How do you know he’s not playing you, he’s a player!” (You would know, Scully.) 

Mulder: “He’s a Godsend!”

Mulder’s not a believer in God, BUT this is also supposed to refer to the God conversation Scully and Tad had in the hospital, which will inadvertently make Scully ~believe~ again.

“What are you talking about?” I’m with ya there, Scully. I’m with ya, there. 

Scully’s trying to insist Mulder's on a verge of a breakdown, which… UGH. 

This scene implies Mulder hasn’t had a breakdown or a break from reality YET-- Scully spends the episode constantly concerned for his health and begging him, here, to watch what where he's stepping because he’s on the verge of spiraling. 

Which means he hasn't spiraled, because she's afraid of what would happen to him IF he did.

MEANING that there wasn’t an inciting factor that made her leave: no alcoholism, no outbursts, no nothing. He just became depressed, probably withdrawn, and wouldn’t change; so, she left. 

Do you realize what that means, per this episode? It means Scully ANTICIPATED a breakdown and left BEFORE it happened. Then hoped he’d get better before it did. 

Which breaks the established morals of her character. If she had been able to help, she would have stayed. If she hadn’t been able to help, she would have found another way to help him, even if it involved calling in a third party against his will. Instead, she withdrew and hoped he would get better BEFORE he reached a breaking point-- essentially, leaving him to an impending breakdown while hoping and praying against it.

This makes her decision to leave a mark of weak character-- not because she was a woman who left her depressed husband, but because Dana Scully, whose character we amply know, left. It checks none of the boxes she'd have to clear first before choosing to take one step out the door.

All the fic I’ve read to justify their breakup-- and make no mistake, CC wrote her to say “as your friend” intentionally--  or time apart or whathaveyou had Scully reach a breaking point. Because, of course! That's logical. But here, in canon-- in black and white-- that didn’t happen. 

We, the audience, have to create a plausible scenario in our minds to justify the steps she took. Because. it. Is. not. In. canon (as per this episode.) 

Now Scully’s gonna get jealous of Sveta, I’m so done. Riverdale, uuuuuuuuugh. 

Mulder just lets Scully walk away because Scully thinks he wants Sveta but “Sveta is the key to everything” and if Scully wants to misunderstand that she should have more trust in him, I guess, and I NEED A RESPIRATOR.

He just says “Scully” once  and lets her huff off.  

TAD’S BACK, GO AWAY. 

WAIT, TAD STOPS HER BEFORE SHE LEAVES. 

Mulder: “I would have invited you, Scully, but I didn’t think you would come.” 

That’s…

That’s….

Let’s break down this stupidity: 

Scully shows up. 

Mulder had Sveta in the house because he was calling her and O'Malley for a group meeting. 

When Scully becomes nearly hysterical over his safety, he doesn’t reason with her, just spouts like a lunatic. 

When she misreads the Sveta situation and stomps off, he lets her go with a weak, “Scully"--

--because he knew Tad was right behind her and was pulling in to stop her from leaving. 

Because Tad and Sveta were invited but Scully was not. 

And Scully was not invited because.  

Because she might not show up. 

I’m just preaching to the choir at this point, continuing on. 

Scully gave in, just like that. Guess she’s not leaving, anymore. 

She’s so, so… spineless. Has been since Season 9, has been a BIT since Season 8 (though that was at least justified and kept to a bare minimum.) 

I’m just. So sick of passive Scully. 

I HATE THOSE STINGER NOISES NOW. 

It’s always, “You can't let this information out because these men work in secrecy”/”What is it?”/”You’ll see”; then stinger; then we, the audience, are immediately shown what it is.

No suspenseful build-up.

Tad: “Then why are you [Scully] here?”/”Scully: “Mulder, what are you up to?”/Mulder: *knowing look*/stinger/next scene.

KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY.

“Implanting of alien embryos”-- so Sveta’s babies weren’t her babies. 

So Scully’s baby wasn’t her baby. 

But Emily was her baby but William isn’t. 

Sure, Jan. 

In spite of this information, the Revival will paint William as their son until it doesn’t; despite, again, stating from day one that the alien babies are implanted embryos and not biological babies.

So, these two boneheads should have suspected that William wasn’t theirs, anyway. 

Even though William is theirs because the CSM timeline doesn’t add up, which they would have mathed in their heads by the time little William was snuggled in their arms. 

It’s all so stupid. 

Why does this feel so fearmongery about the government? And I’m not going to sit here and say the government should be trusted-- it has a VERY bad history, I'm aware. But this is “my first conspiracy” level of worldbuilding.  

Did the writers think it was clever to set O’Malley up as a bad actor then reveal he was a good actor, modeling him after the notorious Alex Jones only to point and jeer, “HAH, you assumed! He’s actually on Mulder’s side!” 

Because that’s not genius, that’s laziness. 

Scully only now decides to inform everyone Sveta has no evidence of alien DNA? So, what, she was never going to tell them unless Mulder kept being, what, crazy? 

“They got to her” says Mulder about Sveta, but Scully LITERALLY SAID she had no alien DNA, so what was Sveta supposed to believe???????? That Tad O'Malley wasn't using her for as a hoax???

Mulder ran all the way to her house, or ubered then ran, or whatever… and she’s gone, of course. 

Poor Sveta. 

Tad O’Malley’s Truth Site is gone, oh, noooooo. 

Look, I’ll always be against censorship. But this is sending so many odd and mixed signals that it’s creating craaaaaaaaaaaaazy levels of dissonance. 

Mulder wrote “Don’t Give Up” in Scully's car dust…. 

Riverdale. 

Mulder presents the global warming = no aliens theory? 

I’m so tired. 

WAIT, SCULLY BELIEVES MULDER'S THEORY NOW THAT HER BOY TAD’S BEEN PULLED OFF THE NETWORK. 

“We need to find her [Sveta], Mulder,” Scully insists. 

Hold on, prediction time: Scully only changed her mind because this case now involves her-- i.e. only extending empathy to Christian (a boy that reminded her of William) and not to the string of missing, possibly murdered, women in IWTB.

OF COURSE. Her results for Sveta ended up being wrong AND HER OWN GENOME HAS ALIEN DNA IN IT, TOO. 

You selfish, self-centered clone of Dana Scully. 

Scully truly hasn’t recovered since… Season 9, let’s be real, where she told Mulder to leave then spent the whole year crying over his absence. In IWTB, she brought Mulder a case then left him when he wouldn’t stop his pursuit (to SAVE. LIVES.) And in the Revival, she called Mulder and the gang crazy until her own genome showed alien DNA. 

Hate this, hate this, HATE this. 

Also, yeah, she already knew she had alien DNA in the OG series, moving on.

Oh, and now they get a call from Skinner just when Scully says someone has to stop the bad guys. 

OF COURSE. 

Remember the God convo from earlier, guys???? GOD. FATE. SOMETHINGSOMETHINGSOMETHING. 

You had ONE good idea to explore-- how Scully views God vs. the aberrations of biology-- and then just... used it as a convenient club to beat in the “God/Fate means for us to do this” instead. 

“Scully, are you ready for this?”

“I don’t know there’s a choice.” 

Can’t someone PLEASE just explore her faith with nuance? PLEASE? 

Sveta's DEAD???????? I’M SO MAD, I liked her!

YOU FAILED HER, SCULLY. 

YOU FAILED MULDER, SCULLY. 

WHY DOES SCULLY HAVE TO KEEP FAILING PEOPLE???????????? 

Skipping the CSM scene because I don’t care, the END. 

CONCLUSION

How does Scully’s mischaracterization keep reaching new lows? 

How does Mulder become less wise with age? 

How is Skinner the only mentally mature character here?

I’m so tired.

[munsonshire]

Eddie Munson as your boyfriend

Pairing: Eddie Munson x reader (gender Neutral)

Disclaimer: Eventhough this are some headcanons I might warn you that this is long af

Warning: Use this freely on your fics but pls give credit

Masterlist

He gives the most obvious side eyes ever, You sometimes have to call him out because they are too obvious and he could get in trouble

He will get out of bed quietly when he can't sleep, take his guitar and get out of the bedroom then start playing music loudly

He makes a lot of sarcastic jokes

Will ask you for help when planning his next campaign, and will let you co-lead said campaign as you have also helped

He has this weird obsession with your ass where he will try to grab and squeeze whenever he can (consensual of course)

Contrary to popular belief I don't think that Eddie doesn't care about his hair, I think he does and that those curls aren't as wild as they seem, he makes them look that way, If he didn't then his hair would look even more wild.

When he gets bored he likes to draw on your arms with a marker (erasable).

He always ends up with random scratches, he never knows how but it happens, Sometimes you have to take care of those scratches.

He likes to cuddle with you, and NEEDS to cuddle with you, The poor boy is touch-starved but at the same time, when you touch him too much he can get overstimulated, so he'll tell you when it's enough

All the dice and little figures he has are because he finds them in the floor or somewhere, repaints, and heeps them, he has gifted you so many dice that you now have them all in a jar.

You gifted him a Polaroid camera, and you still don't know if it was a good or bad idea, he will pull that camera whenever he can and take the most horrible pictures of you, like sleeping or similar.

Has struggled with eating disorders in the past, you try to keep an eye on him and make sure that he's eating well but at the same time try not to force him so it doesn't feel like an obligation.

- Okay, so, generally we tend to think of Eddie as this metal guy and so badass, but tbh I see him as the guy that would crouch down and tie your shoelaces if you ask him to or if he sees that they are untied because he doesn't want you to get hurt. Or, if he's in more of a goofy mood he will crouch down and tie your shoelaces together so that you fall, and he obviously has a laughing fit before even thinking of helping you but then he asks you if you're okay and kisses you.

- He's the kind that will surprise you with gifts, those are usually things that you've said you wanted but didn't get because they were too expensive. He's very attentive of your especial interests and wants to get you something with meaning

He gives you his jacket whenever it's cold

He likes to stay in and watch movies and cuddle

Tries his best to comfort you

Likes to play around in the rain with you, you both usually get soaking wet in the rain and end up covered in mud.

When it rains or he just took a shower and his hair is all wet he likes to shake his hair and soak you, he thinks its extremely fun

he holds your face with both hands

likes to kiss the top of your head

After spending so much time together he starts picking up your gestures, habits, and tics even without noticing. But if you pick up one of his habits/tics, like sticking out your tongue when concentrated, he notices it and teases you about it

Likes to get way too close to your face/ear to say something

Very curious about you and your past, he wants to know a lot about you to understand you better

Constantly tells you everything he likes about you

Moves a lot while talking

Lots of LOTR and metal references that he will explain if you don't get them, he never wants you to feel stupid when you two are talking.

Makes you a dnd character in case you ever want to join, which you probably will, considering the amount of time that he's made you sit and watch one of his campaigns and that sometimes you too get too invested in the storylines. This character will appear in the dnd campaigns, even if you don't play, at first the hellfire club members didn't know who this mysterious character was but after meeting you it was so damn obvious

will take you to all the Corroded Coffin rehearsals and little concerts, he likes to dedicate one or two songs to you

likes to mark his territory so if you're talking to someone in the hallway his mf will appear out of nowhere and hug you from behind, leaving a little kiss on your neck, and then leave again, During that interaction he will glare at whoever you're talking to.

if he sits behind you in class, he will spend it kicking your chair to get your attention

he loves making you laugh at his silly jokes

Sneaks through your window whenever he wants, he's hungry? you better have something to eat. Can't sleep? You're gonna be his personal teddy bear. Needs to talk? Now you have a career in psychology, congratulations. Better listen to him when he gets there or he's gonna be throwing rocks at your window all night/day

explains all of dnd to you

Finds hair ties on the floor and gives them to you even if you told him thousands of times that that is not hygienic at all but he ignores you - you still thank him anyway

Likes it when you do his hair

He loves to braid your hair, doesn't really know how but at least he tries

Hugs you from behind, sometimes giving you heart attacks

Sloopy neck kisses, he loves it because it makes you giggle

Likes to hum and sing to you when you can't sleep

He likes to take your hand and trace all the lines in it, then he gives it a little squeeze

Always holds your thigh while driving

Makes you laugh when you're mad at him, that makes you even more mad

He makes a confused face whenever you talk to him about something that he doesn't know about or something he doesn't understand

Has no filter, because he trusts you

If you say you like one of his rings he'd probably give it to you and laugh when he sees that it doesn't fit your fingers. Then he will find some kind of lace to put the ring through it so that you can wear it as a necklace.

Likes to stargaze with you

likes to run his fingers along your skin, especially your back because it makes you shiver

He keeps flirting with you even if you've been dating for the longest time

Loves to pick little fights with you, never serious, just for fun

Would get a tattoo of something that reminds him of you

Asks you to tutor him when he doesn't understand a class, usually math or something like that. Tutoring lessons usually end up with one of you on top of the other while making out

Loves to pull pranks on you and scare you. But he usually gets slapped or something, because idk you but I get aggressive when someone scares me

Will try to teach you how to play guitar

He has the messiest bedhead ever

Hand-holding while sleeping

Puts his hand in your back pocket when you go out together

Comforting each other after nightmares

holds your hand and swings your arms obnoxiously together, he loves to see you laugh and stumble around

He loves your smile and makes you smile at every chance he gets

Venting to each other, asking first obviously.

He puts his hand on your thigh when he drives

He insists on you sitting on his lap, even if there are other chairs to sit

If you ask for one of his shirts and he's in the mood to annoy you he will tell you to take the one he's wearing

- "Eddie, can I have one of your shirts?"

- "Yeah, come and get it"

- "Where is it?"

- "It's on me sweetheart"

- *you look at him confused* "What do you mean?"

- "I mean, take it off me"

- "Eddie..."

- "What? You wanted my shirt"

- "Okay okay, fine, ill take it"

If you have trust issues he's always reassuring you that he loves you. He has abandonment issues so better remind and reassure him that you still love him

Going out dressed up in Halloween. Scaring kids till they pee their pants

He made you a matching guitar pick necklace like the one he has

Hugs you when you're sad

Likes to play fight but if you fight back, he will lose it

Has an irrational fear of doctors/dentists and will throw a tantrum if you take him to one

Bites as a form of showing affection

When it's raining heavily he loves to take you to this one spot in the woods that he calls "his spot" so you both can scream about whatever it is that has been bothering you, Once you feel better you will dance under the rain

He blinks like 100 times before a staring contest and he gets so competitive, he NEEDS to win

If his eyeliner runs and he smears it he will come up with the excuse that it's his new metal way to wear it, just because he's too lazy to take it off and put it on again

Smirks and shrugs when you ask him how he's able to stay up all night and still have energy the rest of the day, he just teases you about not being able to do it yourself

After the attack, whenever you ask to see his scars to know if they are healing he will lift his shirt and hold it between his teeth, mumbling something about how the bruising is fading. And the MF will smirk because he knows that you're having a hard time trying to focus on the scars and not stare at his shirtless torso

Reads his favorite books aloud for you to fall asleep. He LOVES when you fall asleep with him near you because it shows how comfortable and safe you feel around him.

Puts your hair behind your ears and brushes your hair out of your face whenever you're talking with him because he wants to see your face

Likes to ask you for outfit advice, but he just shows up with two almost identical band T-shirts

He loves it when you mess with his hands, like, if you're anxious and take his hand and start playing with his fingers, he loves that shit, and also if you take his rings and put them in your fingers

[velvet4510]

I wanna draw attention to a very underrated LOTR friendship: Bilbo and Sam.

Bilbo saw past Sam’s lower class status and recognized that Sam deserved an education as much as anyone else. So he took it upon himself to teach Sam to read and write! What a gift.

Bilbo also took the time to tell Sam stories about his journey and about Elves, and Sam memorized parts of Bilbo’s songs and rhymes. Bilbo made such an impression that Sam, in a way, also learned songwriting from him and was able to improvise some great songs of his own during the Quest.

And then years later, Sam named one of his sons after Bilbo! How dear is that? That really shows how important Bilbo was to Sam and what a positive and lasting impact he made on Sam’s life.

Those few details are the only things about their relationship that we’re really given by Tolkien, but they are major and beautiful details that paint the picture of a very special bond. It seems to me that Sam shared Frodo’s worshipful affection for Bilbo, and Bilbo cared for both of the younger hobbits like a father/uncle would.

[buffyfan145]

Just wanted to say something about the very spoilery Haladriel picture we got today of the season 2 "Rings of Power" from Bear McCreay's video of the music from the s2 finale as I've already seen some of those "fans" saying about how inaccurate it is to the books which I will say yes it never happened in the books, however there is likely a way why this happens and it still doesn't change that much especially when you take the movies into account. Posting behind a cut as again it's major spoilers from the season 2 finale.

So we see in the picture that Galadriel reveals she's Nenya's ringbearer to Sauron/Annatar. It's after their fight scene that was revealed in the final trailer last week. We still don't know for sure what is going on but I will point out in the books Sauron never knew who the elven ringbearers were. It's likely he figured it out over the years but the books never said that.

Other fans did point out though that the reveal that he didn't know who got the elven rings is from "The Silmarillion", which the show doesn't have the rights too. They can ask for special permissions, which they did for s1 and 2 including using the name Annatar, but they only really have access to the appendices from the LOTR trilogy books. In those it's not said if Sauron knew or not so there's the loophole they've used now so he not only knows Galadriel has Nenya but he also sees it. It's also possible he helped design it as the show also changed to where he helped the elves as Halbrand and they were going to make 2 rings, which Galadriel was going to get.

So in the context of the show this works that he finds out she did accept Nenya and the ring he likely designed for her ended up with her. I don't think he'll know who has the other 2 rings, except maybe Elrond years later in the 3rd Age. It also weirdly synchs up with "The Hobbit" movies and that confrontation with Galadriel and Sauron in it as she used Nenya in front of him. It also adds to their mental bond that lasts till the end of the 3rd Age too and him always trying to contact her and see her.

This also brings me to the song "The Last Temptation" on the s2 soundtrack and if it really is going to be a Haladriel song and possibly this scene we see in the photo. The soundtrack is out on August 23rd so we might get more clues from it. Also this is going to be a long wait for this scene as it'll air October 3rd, but we already saw a preview of this scene in that poster of Galadriel, and I'm sure we'll get more hints as the season goes on and what exactly is happening.

[stars-n-spice]

Crosshair + his crush on Aragorn Pt. 3

A bunch of comics that are a continuation of this comic about Crosshair finding out about LOTR for the first time with Tech, Echo, and Omega.

Because I love projecting on my favorites and because I think that Crosshair would fall utterly in love with Aragorn because 1) he's got that rugged look about him but 2) he's loyal as FUCK. I mean,, I don't blame him-

Part 1 // Part 2

Anywho, enjoy!

How Crosshair got banned from LOTR Movie Nights:

Movie: He's one of them Rangers...Dangerous folk they are...wandering the wilds. Crosshair: I'd let him wander my "wilds".

(this is pulled directly from something my younger brother said during a rewatch and the Batch's reactions are exactly how my siblings and I all reacted)

To the End - aka the moment Crosshair falls in love

Aragorn: I would have gone with you to the end. To the very fires of Mordor... *LIVE CROSS REACTION: Crosshair, internally: 🎶 Whatta man whattaman what a might good man🎶

This scene gets me all the fucking time. I think about it and cry. That loyalty?? Fucking hot as hell.

"Suggestions" - Sharpshooters Movie Night

Crosshair: You should grow a beard. Tay: ?

Modern AU Tay! Whether or not he has the genes to grow a beard remains to be seen...

Rewind:

Tech: Can you stop rewinding it?! We've seen this scene 15 times! Crosshair: No. Shut the fuck up.

Me too Crosshair, me too. From that day on, Tech refuses to watch LOTR with Crosshair-

Cosplay:

Hunter: Why are you dressed like that? Crosshair: Like what? Hunter: ...nevermind. Wrecker: Looks good!

Crosshair asked Echo to sew it together for him. If you ask him, he's better than Arwen. But that's just his opinion.

Caught Red-Handed:

Crosshair *in Elvish*: Do you like men? Tech: Are you trying to learn ELVISH?! Crosshair: NO!! I'm watching porn! Get out of my room! Tech: We share a room...

no idea how accurate the translation is so don't come for me-

Pastimes:

Crosshair: Did you know Aragorn is canonically 6'6? Tay: No, but did you know I'm 6'6? Crosshair: Shut up, I'm reading.

Crosshair is "borrowing" the book from Tech (he took it without telling him). Tay has competition. The teasing is all in good fun though, Tay doesn't mind competing against Aragon. Crosshair enjoys playing with Tay's hair.

They have a type:

They have a type. What can I say?

Also,, used a picture of my own Aragorn shirt that I have and love for Cross' shirt :)

[artificialbreezy]

Matt as a twin dad has been planted in my head so, dad omens is back!!

disclaimer: all photos found on pinterest, none of them are mine. this is simply a work of fiction, none of this has happened. ever.

so many thoughts under the cut ◡̈

started as a simple kind of moment tbh

a nice date, he just got home. he’s gonna be home for a while, no touring. what better way to tell Matty you’re ready.

“Matty, i love our little life and our fur babies but i think im ready to try for a real baby.”

you didn’t expect the first try to work tbh

and you really didn’t expect such an early positive test

and you really don’t expect two babies

Matt though? he was so excited

he gets to have TWO BABIES?!??

he’s texting the omens group chat the moment at appointments done

“YOU BITCHES ARENT GONNA BELIEVE THIS!!! THERES TWO LITTLE DUDES IN THERE!!!”

thus the planning begins

he’s never leaving you alone, he won’t let you mom by yourself. he WILL be an active dad

and when he finds out they’re both girls??? oh brother is fucked

he’s crying so so hard

“honey we need to pick another name, we only had one planned for each one.”

you settle on “Mira Jean Dierkes and Meadow Brooke Dierkes”

whenever he talks to them, “why hello my sweet M&M’s how are we feeling today?”

he was really excited for a lotr nursery but when you guys settled on the names he said no way, we have to do a subtle little candy land theme

Davis comes to paint the cute little candies above each of their cribs

Noah is Meadow’s godfather and Lana is Meadow’s godmother

Folio is Mira’s godfather and Davis is Mira’s “godparent bc Folio fucking took the godfather name”

you decide on a c-section with your obgyn, she makes sure to explain you can have natural birth after this one but it’s not fully recommended.

“don’t worry, we only wanted two and well we got them”

the birth was smooth, Matt was holding your hand the whole time

he cried more than he’d ever tell the guys

Noah, Davis, Folio and Lana all camped out in the hospital waiting room

with gifts

and balloons

and flowers

and Lana made a huge goody bag for just you

Matt and you swear to never dress the girls identical, you refuse to let either of them feel unseen

he carries both car seats to the car on the way out, helps you into the car, helps you to the front door, helps you straight to bed and then he’ll join you and his little ones

as they’re getting older and their personalities are coming in

you can definitely tell that Mira is just like her dad, has so much interest in his work and his shows and his movies and his music and she just loves her dad.

“you’re my little shadow, aren’t you Mira?”

and Meadow? loves her mama, loves sitting with her while she crochets and loves sitting with her while she reads and Meadow has her own little book, loves being with mama.

Mira looks like her mama though

and Meadow is the copy paste of Matt

buys them valentine’s day gifts

takes them each on one on one daddy/daughter days

and group days

Matt likes to joke with them too once they’re 4-5, purposely mixed up their names

“Mira here is your peanut butter and jelly with no crust and extra jelly.”

“Meadow here is your ham and cheese, hold the cheese.”

and he’s just chuckle a little when he sees them switch plates

ugly cries on the first day of school

every year tbh

high school about takes him out

what do you mean they’re gonna date soon???

what do you mean they’re gonna drive soon???

what do you mean they only have 4 years left???

Mira would rather skip out on the dances but Meadow begs and pleads her sister every time

so now you’re dress shopping AND suit shopping

“i’ll go Dow, but i am NOT wearing a dress.”

“that’s fine, i think you and J- “

“MEADOW SHUT IT.”

Matt and you just look at each other, and know. Mira is seeing someone.

and you guys don’t know much on it, until picture time before the dance comes around and you see the oldest Ruffilo child and Mira closer than usual and that’s when Matt calms himself

“god at least it’s his kid, could’ve been way worse.”

“i mean, do you think Mira was really just picking a pick shirt for nothing?” Meadow would bring up

“they had to match her suit to her dress.”

Nick comes up and talks about it later, wondering how much you two knew versus them.

everyone’s just happy they’re happy

they’d stay together throughout high school, finally coming clean end of freshman year

they decide a college together (with Meadow picking a college not far from her sister)

and suddenly the house is empty and Matt’s standing in the door way of the girls’ area of the house holding their baby book

“can’t believe they’re all grown up, honey.”

“we did good Matty.”

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts: The Prologue

I will never not love Tolkien’s framing device of “my fantasy epic is 100% a translation of an ancient historical book like Beowulf, it’s totally real, you guys, definitely”

“[Bullroarer Took] was surpassed in all Hobbit records only by two famous characters of old; but that curious master is dealt with in this book” is an incredibly intriguing line to me. You’d think it refers to Frodo and Sam, because of what they did to destroy the Ring—but the rest of the hobbits didn’t really care all that much about that. They saw Sam as just another mayor (if a very tenured one) and Frodo as a strange recluse. I think this line refers to Captains Meriadoc and Peregrin, actually, for their courage and leadership during the Battle of Bywater.

“To the last battle at Fornost with the Witch-lord of Angmar they sent some bowmen to the aid of the king, or so they maintained, though no tales of Men record it.” This cracks me up. First of all, the fact that hobbits claim to have sent some aid to the King’s war, but either they’re lying or mistaken or they’re literally so small and unremarkable that everyone completely forgot they were there. Secondly, this is the first and not the last time hobbits are gonna be a pain in the Witch King’s butt

“They were, in fact, sheltered, but they had ceased to remember it” is a line that goes so hard bruh

Today’s vocabulary word is “ramify, v: form branches or offshoots; spread or branch out; grow and develop in complexity or range.” So “large and ramifying tunnels”, in this case, paints the picture of the hobbit holes sprouting rooms and hallways that branch off like tree roots. Fascinating.

The fact that Merry probably has some Stoor blood in him still makes me giggle because they’re the only hobbits that could grow any sort of beard. I still maintain the headcanon that Merry has three (3) hairs on his chin, and he shaves them regularly and is inordinately proud of them.

“Sometimes, as in the case of the Tooks of Great Smials, or the Brandybucks of Brandy Hall, many generations of relatives lived in (comparative) peace together in one ancestral and many-tunnelled mansion.” That little interjection of “comparative” was not mine, it’s right there in the text, and it has me cracking up X-D

Merry’s little personal asides in “Concerning Pipeweed” are absolutely darling—including the shade at Breelanders, the almost wistful descriptions of how much better the plant grows in Gondor, and the fond way he speaks of Gandalf.

Okay so I once claimed that the book never refers to Frodo as Bilbo’s nephew, only as his young kinsman; but here at the end of section three he is actually called “Frodo his favorite ‘nephew’”, with the quotation marks and all. So the idea is already planted in our minds that their relationship is sort of avuncular (throwback to that old vocab word!) before we start the story.

“With [Thorin’s company Bilbo] set out, to his own lasting astonishment…” 🤣🤣🤣

Boy I still need to do Bilbo-With-Glasses someday

Tolkien taking several pages of prologue to explain the inconsistency of the riddle game in The Hobbit will never not be funny

“And no one else in the Shire knew of [the Ring’s] existence, or so he believed.” Except for Merry, who watched him put it on to escape the Sackville-Bagginses that one time.

It’s called the Red Book of Westmarch because it came from Undertowers!! Guarded by the Fairbairns!! ELANOR’S KIDS!! HI HELLO I’M HAVING EMOTIONS

“The original Red Book has not been preserved, but many copies were made, especially of the first volume, for the use of the descendants of Master Samwise.” I AM HAVING ✨EMOTIONS✨

PIPPIN BROUGHT A COPY OF THE RED BOOK TO GONDOR WHEN HE WAS OLD

AND THEN ARAGORN HAD IT COPIED AGAIN

AND THAT’S THE ONE THAT WAS “TRANSLATED” INTO LOTR

HELP

The fact that Merry wrote so many books and Pippin wrote none is honestly so in-character for both of them

And Merry frequently visited Rivendell!! You guys I cry

[aroacesetitoff]

OG Infinight Reference Sheet + Headcanons

Marcy Burns/Elleve the Amender

-4 feet tall

-its mentioned that she has "rainbow robes" and ive decided to interpret that as sunset colored

-pre mining accident Marcy has longer hair and has already lost her eye to unknown circumstances

-post mining accident Marcy cut her hair and it turned whiter, and she switched to more monochrome clothing-symbolizes her turning away from her faith and also grieving her husband

-still wears her wedding ring, and keeps Fred's on a chain with a locket of his picture

-we know literally nothing abt Fred but I think he was also a halfling and had a sick ass mustache

-the symbol on pre-accident Marcy's eyepatch + staff is supposed to be of the Diarians (followers of Dia). The circle is Faeza, the hands are Dia herself, and the six teardrop shapes are the Diagems. Also meant to resemble a flower as a reference to Gum Gum

-magic goblet-does it have a name? Anyways Paralyte stole it from the Sheerays so I gave it an aquatic wave/seaweed design (water = life)

-idk how to design tattoos, but other clerics of dia would probably have similar ones-i think hers are religious in nature

Ostin Tashe/Slique the Symphonius

-ya boiiii

-4'6-so just barely taller than Bart. Barely

-had the most satisfying color palette for me- i love green and so does he

-i rewatched the hobbit/lotr trilogies so Ostin is def inspired by that-gave him braided hair and armor

-idk how a tuning sword works. Like a bident maybe? Ive drawn the sword in his right hand (the one with missing fingers) but he might prefer to fight left-handed. Idk ive trained with longswords before but ive never lost any fingers so i cant say

-magic lute-gave it a greener/mossier color palette to show it was from the Elderpines. The strings are vines and the rosette has a tree design

-dont know where Ostin's scars came from either, maybe he really did fight a dragon maybe he didnt-doesnt stop him

-post-Wight Winter i gave Slique a grey streak to match with Spectril

-also gave him a cool colored eye highlight for the same reason

Leonard Lank/Spectril the Surreptitious

-i put his height around 5'7/5'8

-made the rogue armor sharp and dark-had to recolor it from the origianly palette bc it was too dark tho lmao. Fur collar to foreshadow his time in the Ethereal Plane

-post-Wight Winter i gave him simple, more homey clothes bc at that point he had a family and wasn't focused on fighting. The fur is not bear fur i swear

-already mentioned it before but his hair started turning white + he grew it out/braided it back.

-he's got normal rogue daggers, and then the Ethereal daggers. Not shown but yeah they fade in and out of the Material and Ethereal Plane

-"Walls Have Ears-Doors Have Eyes" by Clan D. Stine-the wiki i think mentioned him having books that let him turn invisible and walk through walls-this one's definitely a Leitner (ifykyk)

-boots-deceptively simple in design from the Elderpines

-piercings include several ear piercings, snake bites, and an eyebrow piercing

-warm colored eye highlight to match with Slique-your honor i have (accidentally) sun/moon coded then because they are gay

Luz Prattle/Paralyte

-6'0 tall and definitely uses it for intimidation

-i think she dresses kinda emo/alt

-the only infinight with a unique logo-instead of two crossed swords its a snake eating itself

-committing to the snake bit-i gave her scale armor

-the gloves have two talons on the pointer and middle finger, based very specifically off a homebrew item i saw where the hand kind of looks like a biting snake. It contains a venom that paralyzes enemies and came from the Sheerays

-put a snake on her sword. Cause why not. Thats why she teamed up with Brink they are both snake lovers

-not drawn, but she would have a snake tattoo somewhere on her body

-hands are turning dark at the fingertips as a side effect of using the gloves so often. Her veins are visibly green because shes pale as hell and also suffering from long term exposure to Sangrianite

-facial scar-man im sorry i dont know where this one came from either. Kyborg shot her once tho i do remember that

Bo Bender/Grislee the Groundbreaker

-height is about 6'6, very tall lady

-all i had to go off was red bandana so its like her thing

-her locs are made of rocks and also have veins of gold in them

-the stuff on her shoulders and hammer are lichen-she takes such long naps outside they've started growing on her. And also earth genasi

-when shes raging she has magma veins coming from her eyes and hands, and the inside of her body also glows

-when shes not raging it cools to golden veins-still very hot to the touch sometimes

-didnt have a lot if ideas for her second outfit but i gave her a bearskin bc she is "grizzly"

-hammer is the other item from the Sheerays and is pretty much just a trunk on a stick in terms of design. Combined with the lute tho, they are probably some of the most powerful items in Faeza

Man thats a lot of characters. Should i have made these before I made 3 painting and a comic page? Yeah. But i didnt lol. Enjoy✌️

edit: fixed the magic item origins

[crownedghostprince]

Thorin's Company x Heterochromia!Reader Headcanons

Thorin's Company x Heterochromia!Reader

Fandom: The Hobbit/LoTR

What if the dwarves met and loved (platonically or romantically) someone in Middle Earth who had a very unique condition where their eyes were coloured differently? In this world, heterochromia is incredibly rare with only a few known cases in the entire world so the dwarves are naturally curious about this.

And you get to see how your favourites might react in this Headcanon style fanfiction!

Requests: Closed. Requested: no.

Warning(s): Minor mentions of bullying and reader's family members dying in certain headcanons. Nothing graphic. <3

Note: Please note I will be changing reader's heterochromia for each dwarf's headcanon to make the writing very different. I hope that's okay. This is because this is mostly a crack-fic <3

I will also sometimes specify when reader is a woman, or has feminine characteristics/pronouns are used or mentioned, I hope that is also okay. Enjoy! :)

Word Count: 13,401 (roughly lol)

[Second Person Perspective]

(Apologies for the image. I was going to post an image of Thorin's Company here, but then I realized you might not have seen a picture of a bunny today. This adorable bunny image was originally posted by "Heidi's Cottage" on tumblr! Please show them some love!!)

♡

Thorin: (Romantic): (Dark Blue eyes with Brown around one's center)

♡ Your eyes are a little harder for Thorin to notice at first.

♡ The dark colours of your eyes and Thorin being too embarrassed to make eye-contact with you when you first met are the reasons it took him a week to notice your unique eyes.

♡ You had first met at Bilbo's house in the Shire where the candlelight bounced off the blue of your eyes when Thorin glanced over at you.

♡ You pretended to not notice him stealing glances as you listened to the gathering.

♡ So, after a week of Thorin being protective, sweet and considerate towards you, he finally noticed your eyes.

♡ It was a beautiful sunny morning and Thorin was allowing the company a few more minutes to brush and re-braid their hair.

♡ You decided to take care of your own hair and absentmindedly admired the clouds as they drifted by from above.

♡ Thorin joined you under the warm sun and made some small conversation about the journey, how rough it would be...mostly making sure you're prepared mentally.

♡ But his breath caught in his throat when you turned to meet his eyes.

♡ He always thought you shared the exact same eye colour, albeit your eyes being a much darker blue, but today he was proven wrong as his eyes drifted to the eye with the brown ring around the pupil.

♡ In the sunlight this brown colour was very distinguished and even looked slightly like caramel.

♡ He was so stunned by the beautiful design adorning your eye he didn't speak for another minute.

♡ When you finally asked if everything was alright, he slowly nodded and spoke.

♡ "In all my years I've never witnessed such beauty. Like a rare gemstone whose colours are only truly seen once under the sunlight."

♡ Please his compliments are so cute and sweet. And creative!

♡ "It's as if your eye wrapped itself in a warm autumn blanket before the cold blue winter covered it with its' icy snow."

♡ He loves your eyes even more now.

♡ They're a sight he cherishes every day.

♡ Sometimes when he can't see the brown around your pupil, he'll gently move you into the sunlight, or bring a candle between you two so he can watch the colour light up and glow.

♡ He made you a dagger with a beautiful wooden design around one of the two sapphires that adorned the handle.

♡ "I wanted to capture your eyes in this dagger for future generations to witness and admire." He smiled as he gave you his gift.

♡ There were also intricate words in Khuzdul that you now knew read, "The eyes of My Beloved."

♡ This sweet hopeless romantic makes sure you never feel embarrassed about your eyes and also stops anyone who might even joke about them. To him they're something to celebrate. Not to mock. <3

~~~

Fili: (Romantic): (Light Blue and Dark Green eyes) ((This is gonna be long, sorry lol))

♡ Your eyes are very noticeable when people first meet you.

♡ Your light blue eye stands out the most and draws people to your eyes when they first meet you, thus leading them to immediately notice the dark green colour of your other eye.

♡ When I say dark green, it's not that dark, it's simply a very strong and rich green colour.

♡ However this was not the case when you first met the dwarves during a fight against some orcs as the group ran towards Rivendell - your home.

♡ You were waiting for Gandalf's arrival when you and the other elves heard orcs just in the distance.

♡ You all saddled up and you rode alongside Lord Elrond as you all charged into battle, firing your arrows and drawing them away from Rivendell's secret entrance.

♡ You rode your horse past the entrance to the secret tunnel to make sure the orc that fell in was definitely dead and you noticed a group of dwarves, alongside Gandalf, just hidden inside.

♡ Your hair covered your eyes and the light being directly behind you made you appear more like an apparition to the dwarves rather than an actual, physical being.

♡ Thus you quickly turned away, allowing them to finish their journey to Rivendell alone as dwarves and elves typically do not get along.

♡ Once you had made it back to Rivendell, circling the dwarves and feeling unsure of their intentions, you noticed a beautiful blond dwarf in the group.

♡ He stood out from the rest of the group, the sunlight bouncing off of his hair and causing it to practically glow under its' light.

♡ You dismounted after Lord Elrond and greeted Mithrandir (Gandalf) before turning to the group.

♡ Your excellent hearing picked up on all of the stunned, but soft, gasps that flooded the group upon seeing your unique eye colours.

♡ You were simply amused by their reactions. Afterall, your eyes were a rare sight to behold.

♡ Quiet, polite whispers started to circle the group before Thorin and Lord Elrond greeted each other.

♡ "Are those her real eye colours?"

♡ "Of course, Ori, hush."

♡ "Whoa~"

♡ "Did you see his eyes, Fili?" That was a brunett dwarf with scruff talking to the blond.

♡ You simply gave the group a curt nod and avoided the blond's eye-contact before following Lindir up the steps so you could clean up and change out of your armour.

♡ The thoughts circled through your head. But specifically the name of the beautifully handsome blond dwarf...'Fili'. His name rolled through your head over and over again like a bouncy melody that never leaves your thoughts.

♡ Eventually, whilst playing your small harp you noticed heavy footsteps walking up the stairs towards you. You opened your eyes and continued to play your favourite melody as the birds in the trees above you sang along.

♡ As you expected, one of the dwarves walked up the steps and stopped at the top. But unexpectedly, it was the blond, Fili. You greeted each other with a smile and he approached you nervously.

♡ "I like your eyes. It's like the Gods couldn't choose if sapphires or emeralds would suit you better, so they gave you both." He smiled dreamily.

♡ Damnnnn he got that 'Line of Durin' rizzzz. (I'm sorry).

♡ (I'm still sorry about before) ♡ (please accept my apologies....) ♡ (I will give you cookies)

♡ And this is where your sweet romance blossomed and continued to bloom for many years.

♡ "Thank-you. I like your hair. It glows like fire under the sun's light. It's stunning." You smiled back, taking a break from your music to flirt with the sweet dwarf.

♡ He brings you green zennia (associated with lasting affection) and bluebell flowers (associated with everlasting love).

♡ When he found out what your favourite animal was he immediately made you a courting gift. A necklace with the animal as the main piece with a sapphire and emerald for each eye. Matching your eyes perfectly.

♡ You happily showed him your own courting gift. "We were thinking the same thing!" You laughed as you gave him the painting you'd made of him.

♡ It was hyper-realistic and you could see every strand of hair and even the eyelashes adorning his blue eyes on it. It was also textured so he could feel the grooves and bumps as he brushed his fingers across it.

♡ He loved it and you two had the best courtship ever.

♡ You courted for a couple years before marrying and life had never been better for the both of you.

♡ "Your eyes are enchanting. Like the forest meets the ocean. And they marry." He grins, sliding across a small box with rings and hair beads.

♡ "Oh? Is this your way of implying something?" You smile back, sliding over your own small box.

♡ "You gotta stop thinking the same thing I'm thinking. At this rate we're gonna have two celebratory weddings." He laughs.

♡ "Y'know, I see nothing wrong with that."

♡ Y'all are so cute, please have a nice two weddings.

♡ He loves making you laugh and smile - watching your eyes light up with joy. You make him so happy every single day.

~~~

Kili: (Romantic): (Dark Brown and Blue eyes) ((This is gonna be long, sorry lol))

♡ When you started travelling with the company, you had fallen from the modern world into Middle Earth with your sunglasses.

♡ And damn was the sunlight bright! So you almost always wear your sunglasses unless it's night and you're sleeping.

♡ So no one usually sees your eye colours and when they do, it's more just a glance of your blue eye.

♡ Then, one day Thorin decides to set up camp earlier than usual allowing everyone time to relax in the sunlight and watch the sunset as you all ate Bombur's delicious cooking.

♡ You spent all your time during the journey cracking jokes and trading stories with everyone. But you mostly hung out with Fili and Kili, having fun riding alongside them and dancing in the rainy nights.

♡ It was a lot of fun to be with this group. And this day was no different as you sat beside the brothers and joked around.

♡ Once the sun had set enough and the sky started to change colour you took your sunglasses off to admire the colours without the soft orange tint you were used to.

♡ Fili - being an excellent wingman for his brother and best friend - left you both for a few minutes to help Bombur clean up the dishes and find more firewood with Bilbo.

♡ You smiled and dragged your eyes away from the sunset to see Kili's reaction and found him already staring back at you with the softest brown eyes you've ever seen.

♡ A moment passed between you two as you both admired each other's eyes before chuckling and awkwardly turning back to look at the sunset.

♡ "Your eyes are beautiful. I've never seen anything like them. Everyone's eyes are usually very similar...but yours are different. I like them" He grinned. You watched as his face and ears grew red.

♡ "You're so cute. Thank-you, darling."

♡ He brings you blue flowers that have bits of brown on them. Whether from decay, dirt, mud or just the colouration. (is that a word?) But either way he loves bringing you flowers.

♡ Especially your favourite flowers. He'll bring you those whenever you pass them on your journey.

♡ You both play silly games to pass the time where you basically say what you like about the other, or try and guess their favourite thing, etc.

♡ He doesn't draw too much attention to your eyes, because he doesn't know if it's a sensitive topic or something you're uncomfortable with.

♡ But he definitely encourages you to wear your sunglasses less often when you're comfortable with it. Especially when it's just the two of you together.

♡ After reclaiming Erebor he'll sometimes surround you with candles until he can't fit anymore in the circle around you. Just so he can see you lit up under the candlelight.

♡ He's cute.

♡ Definitely brings you clothes with brown and blue mixed together in beautiful patterns that dance down the fabric and across the threads.

♡ He loves seeing you dance, loving how your eyes light up with excitement and joy. Sparkling towards him like gemstones under moonlight.

♡ Once you learned Khuzdul, he confidently made you a dwarvish bead as a gift with the words "my darling river" written on them very finely.

♡ You wear it all the time and only take it out to brush your hair when he's there. But typically only he can take it out to brush your hair and then braid it back in.

♡ He adores you and sees your eyes as just another reason to love you.

♡ Kili loves your sense of humour, your fun facts, all your little quirks and habits, etc.

♡ But surprisingly, he loves your hair more than anything else.

♡ He loves when you style it in a new, or fun way. He also loves when you dye it and will offer to help you dye your hair.

♡ Once you even dyed some bronze highlights through his hair that shone like copper in the sunlight.

~~~

Dwalin: (Romantic): (Dark Brown and Light Hazel eyes) ((This is gonna be long, sorry lol))

♡ Dwalin and the Company were fighting orcs and running for their lives, following Gandalf to safety when you jumped in from out of nowhere to help them fight the orcs.

♡ You used your incredible arcobatic skills and daggers to take down the orcs and wargs with the dwarves' and wizard's aid.

♡ After the fight, you turned to the group with a big smile, specifically greeting Gandalf.

♡ After bowing for Thorin and the group and introducing yourself, Gandalf encouraged you to join them over a nice dinner.

♡ You were only planning on staying until they found camp, enjoy dinner with them and then be back on your own way - aimlessly wandering the beautiful land.

♡ But Gandalf's offer was hard to decline, especially after you'd met the incredibly cool dwarf, Dwalin.

♡ His scars probably had awesome stories to tell and you were curious to hear them.

♡ You loved his style, the cool and cold exterior he had with a constant frown. But you saw his eyes clearly had a different story to tell.

♡ You decided in the morning you'd accept Gandalf's kind invite and would fight for the dwarves to take their home back. "I'd be honoured to fight alongside you all."

♡ "Here you go, lad. Just sign this paper and we'll proceed." Balin smiled, handing you the paper. You thanked him, signed it after a quick read and finished packing up the camp. You were on your way on another strange adventure with this equally strange wizard.

♡ But at least you had someone to talk to.

♡ You were kind to everyone, but especially went out of your way to talk to Dwalin, even if it was just small acknowledgements and 'are you okay?'s. That's all you needed, honestly.

♡ It took a while, but you saw him quietly warming up to you which showed mostly during a fight. You were a bit further away from the group than you had intended to be when Dwalin suddenly appeared by your side and helped you take down the group of orcs surrounding you.

♡ You both nodded and returned to the group, not saying much else until the rest of the orcs had run off or died. "Thank-you."

♡ "It's fine, lad." He simply nodded and walked by your side.

♡ After reclaiming Erebor and the battle (in which Thorin, Kili and Fili lived) you and Dwalin talked for hours whilst recovering. Not only were your temporary beds just across from each other, but you both were given some books to read until your bones healed.

♡ But you couldn't read Khuzdul, so you asked Dwalin to read them to you. He seemed hesitant but after a couple awkward hours of silence and boredom, he finally read the books.

♡ He read sentences in Khuzdul first, then translated them to English before continuing to the next.

♡ You didn't mind. In fact, hearing him talk in Khuzdul was fascinating to hear as his accent got thicker and his voice was louder. A contrast to the quieter English he'd then speak to you after.

♡ It took months and months before you both began to court and even then he hardly ever complimented you.

♡ It took a candlelight dinner, a walk through the forest outside of Erebor under the moonlight and you constantly complimenting him until he was brave enough to return your affections.

♡ "Your eyes are stunning. They glow like fire under the light." He smiled, turning away to look at the trees.

♡ He's surprisingly awkward and shy for someone so tough and cool. He's not sure how to compliment you, or court you.

♡ But he always knows what you might like gift wise. He'll bring you daggers, belts and once even a water-proof cowl from Dale for your travels.

♡ All the gifts he brings you perfectly compliment your eyes. Browns, oranges, soft yellows and simple beige outfits.

♡ Every time he leaves Erebor, he'll return with rocks, accessories and hats as simple little gifts he got for you.

♡ He cares a lot about you and always make sure any injuries you have are immediately tended to, even if you brush them off as simple scratches.

♡ He brings you food and water if you've just returned from a journey and want to go straight to bed. And when Thorin allows him, he'll journey with you.

♡ He loves to dance with you, especially under the sunlight in an open field of flowers. The colours and light cause your eyes to twinkle brightly and he loves it.

♡ The brown turning to caramel, the hazel shining in an almost green colour under the sunlight and blue under the moonlight.

♡ He loves to bring you new shades of clothing to see what colour your hazel eye will look most like when you wear it.

♡ Sometimes you'll wear blue and your hazel eye will look similar, but other times you'll wear red and the hazel in your eyes turns almost brown.

♡ Your eyes are a fascinating sight for him watch.

♡ He even writes down little notes about how your hazel eye changes around each colour.

♡ Even though the colour is also based on lighting, mood and other factors, you don't mention that. It's nice to just listen to him mutter and write little notes about your eyes each night.

~~~

Bofur: (Romantic): (Dark Hazel and Silver eyes)

♡ Your eyes are incredibly hard to miss.

♡ Bofur noticed them immediately when you first met in the ruins of Dale after the battle for Erebor. You had come from Laketown alongside everyone else and had quickly learned how to defend yourself and fight against orcs during the battle.

♡ He was walking around the ruins of Dale to help check on everyone and bring to them the healers and you were ushering children back to their parents and helping people dig themselves out of rubble when you two stumbled across each other.

♡ Both of you were scratched up, bruised and tired. But despite all that, you were both awestruck by the other's beauty.

♡ His shining armour, fluffy hat, twinkling eyes and the soft smile that grew wider when you greeted him. Gosh, you were nervous just talking to him.

♡ Your glowing hair, soft skin, dumbfounded look and distinctive eye colours. How could he not smile upon seeing you?

♡ He thought you looked stunning.

♡ After that day, you both hung out a lot. Whether in Dale or Erebor, you'd both just aimlessly walk for hours laughing at each other's jokes. You'd eat dinner together. Sometimes with the Company and other times with your friend group.

♡ He didn't shy away from complimenting you before you were even courting.

♡ "The silver glows like a diamond under the moonlight. What an amazing discovery...to see a gemstone this far above the ground." He smiled.

♡ "Such a beautiful mixture of green and brown and blue. Like a river flowing through a pine forest. Its' beauty is truly unmatched by any forest I've seen."

♡ Don't let the Ents overhear Bofur! He's so sweet!!

♡ So you best believe, his compliments only increased tenfold after you began courting.

♡ "Ghivashel, you look stunning this morning." (Translation: Treasure of all treasures).

♡ "Do you need help with that, mizimel?" (Translation: Jewel of all jewels).

♡ He loves making dolls with mismatched eyes now. He specifically made one for you though. Matching the hazel and silver of your eyes. For the hazel eye he used a zircon gemstone and the silver eye was a diamond.

♡ The beautiful doll had a lovely dress and hair that also matched yours. With your permission, he cut some of your hair and sewed it into the doll's head. The doll sits right beside your bed at all times and sometimes you even cuddle it to help you sleep.

♡ He spends hours asking you to sing and read to him whilst he lays down beside you or on your lap. Loving the way your eyes light up when you reach your favourite parts. Or when you're particularly proud of how you read, or sung, a part.

♡ Some nights it's just you and Bofur sitting under a tree, leaning against its trunk whilst listening to the world around you.

♡ You cherish the quiet moments you get to spend with Bofur, as sometimes you can't spend time together when you're both so busy with work.

♡ So, you both just enjoy each other's presences when you can. Resting together, falling asleep in soft grass and waking up to a bright sun above the hills, surrounding you both with its' glow.

♡ Beautiful morning, after beautiful morning. Time passed for months, seasons, and years. Until you both decided to marry. :)

~~~

Balin: (Platonic): (Light Blue and Dark Blue) ((This is gonna be long, sorry lol))

♡ Growing up was a struggle for you as your father had died fighting for Moria alongside Thorin Oakenshield.

♡ But Balin had noticed you when you were just a child; a young Dwarf watching the warriors return from Moria's battle.

♡ You watched as they praised Thorin Oakenshield and called him 'King' and 'Future King' depending on the dwarves.

♡ But still you searched for your father. More interested in hearing how the battle went from him.

♡ And when you couldn't find your father, you began to cry. A hand was gently placed on your shoulder so you looked up and there Balin was. Looking down at you with sad eyes.

♡ You hugged him immediately and began talking incoherently - asking for your father, where he was and why he hadn't returned.

♡ Balin took you under his wing after that day and to his astonishment, he watched as you grew up and your eyes slowly changed colour.

♡ Eyes can sometimes take years before they reach their permanent colour and that was how it was for you.

♡ By the time you were 7 years old, your eyes changed into totally opposite blue colours: one light blue like a topaz and the other very dark like the ocean.

♡ Balin raised you as best he could with help from Thorin and Dwalin. You also became good friends with Thorin's nephews, Fili and Kili.

♡ None of the dwarves ever ostracized you for your heterochromia, but instead they really adored you.

♡ Balin and you always travelled to the markets together. You were always helping him when he was tinkering with toys, practicing with a sword (you'd have a small wooden sword) and you both also tended to a garden together.

♡ Growing Coneflowers in the garden as they are very hardy flowers that can grow despite bad soil and drought. Hence growing them in a mostly dry, stone-y environment was a piece of cake.

♡ He could never resist your puppy-dog eyes when you wanted to travel with him. The light from the sun made your eyes sparkle and he didn't ever want you to cry or feel left alone.

♡ If he couldn't take you somewhere with him, Dwalin was fine with watching over you and letting you learn a bit of simpler smithing. He'd show you how necklaces were made and even some rings.

♡ If you ever grew self-conscious of your eyes, Balin would write and read to you stories of fantasy creatures with different coloured eyes.

♡ Somethings like... "Juniper didn't know why the others would play without him. He didn't know what made him different from the rest. He sat by the river one day and listened to all the different birds. Their different songs and colours. When suddenly, he realized something! He was different! But not on the outside!...

...Juniper ran to his mother very excitedly! He happily declared to her, 'I'm going to become the best fairy dancer one day!' and she smiled with joy, 'Of course you will be! And I'll be there to watch your every performance!' It was on this day Juniper decided his eyes were not the reason others did not play with him. It was because they didn't know who he was on the inside, and he was going to show them who he was! And he would dance with them at every celebration! He'd perform each move perfectly and smile the whole time. He'd show the world who he was and shine brightly for all to see."

♡ And many more stories similar to that, but perhaps a few pages longer...or a few chapters longer. :)

♡ You had many books of these fantasy stories handwritten by Balin by the time you were a teenager. And you re-read them all the time.

♡ He'd say "Child, never feel different because of your eyes. Know you're different because of your heart. Because of what you'll do with your life when you grow up. Know you're going to do amazing things in your life."

~~~

Bifur: (Platonic): (Light Brown with half of one eye being Light Green) ((This is gonna be long, sorry lol))

♡ You grew up in Earth with a cat companion that had the same colour eyes as you.

♡ Her name was Delta and she was a calico that followed you everywhere and slept with you in bed every night.

♡ Unfortunately for Delta, this meant she fell into Middle Earth with you when a portal suddenly appeared below you on one of your walks in the garden.

♡ You both fell super fast and you gripped Delta tightly against your chest - braced for impact.

♡ But the impact was softer than you thought it would be. Slowly you opened your eyes and looked around you.

♡ Realizing you had fallen directly onto a bush and a large portal above you, far up in the sky, closed.

♡ 'Oh dear...' you thought, 'Mum's not going to be happy about this.'

♡ To be fair, for an eleven-year-old, magic portals were the least of your concern and instead: 'when mum finds out I'm going to be grounded,' was currently more concerning to you.

♡ Delta - being very cuddly - allowed you to pick her up and carry her around once you brushed some dirt off yourself.

♡ You wandered. You were very lost by the time the sun was falling behind the hills that lay far past the forest you were trapped in.

♡ It was only just getting dark when a group of horses and people travelled down the road towards you and Delta.

♡ You watched as they came to a stop. A tall wizard-looking man with grey hair and beard was at the front of the group and he looked at you with very soft and kind eyes.

♡ Delta hissed at the sudden people, so you took a couple steps back and tensed to run.

♡ But the wizard spoke to the others and decided to set up camp and stop for the night. He hopped off his horse and walked towards you, switching a staff from one hand to the other as he approached before he crouched down, leaning on the staff for support to meet your height.

♡ "Hello." He greeted warmly.

♡ "Hello..." You greeted less confidently. And that's how you found yourself in the world of Middle Earth, meeting a group of dwarves, a hobbit and a wizard.

♡ They took great care of you and as you were too shy to speak, Bifur especially took to caring for you. He picked up on your non-verbal communication a lot faster than the others did and helped you climb onto the horses every morning.

♡ He helped you down every evening and made sure you were given food first every dinner and breakfast. He even made sure there were on-the-road snacks just for you to have lunch.

♡ Bifur never pushed boundaries or made you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Quite the opposite actually, you felt safer with him rather than anyone else. Perhaps it was because he didn't expect you to talk, or respond.

♡ Nor did he ever push you to verbally communicate when you were still feeling too shy or scared.

♡ Although in our eyes the dwarves are incredibly friendly and kind and not very intimidating - save Dwalin - to an eleven-year-old, they were quite the scary, loud and unpredictable bunch.

♡ Laughing loudly quite suddenly, or grabbing food quite quickly and talking and singing all the time. You found you couldn't guess what they'd do next, but you also grew to love that chaos about them.

♡ Bifur was actually the first to pet Delta when you joined the Company on their adventure. He pet her to reassure you that you were both safe with the group.

♡ And yes, that worked perfectly. You stuck with them the whole journey and whilst they took extra care in keeping you safe, secure and out of danger, you still had to do a fair bit of running to keep up.

♡ Especially after you lost the ponies to the goblins. The Company was tempted to leave you with the Elves of Rivendell but Thorin immediately denied the idea and made sure you travelled with them.

♡ Lord Elrond had been very kind to you though and gave you paper and ink to draw with. You spent hours in Rivendell drawing flowers for the Company and showing them off proudly at night.

♡ They were very impressed and encouraging.

♡ But back to Bifur and you!

♡ At night when you were first adjusting to the new environment, you became terrified by the lack of light and began to cry, holding onto Delta for comfort. Bifur took notice immediately having been on first watch.

♡ He quietly called you over and came to get you. He then let you sit beside him as he watched over the camp and told you silly little stories via charades and shadow puppets. He used what was left of the fire's light for the shadow puppets.

♡ You became calmer and happier as the stories progressed and eventually you had drifted to sleep. You felt safe and you had a purring cat on your lap, so why wouldn't you feel safe?

♡ Bifur made sure you were supported and had a pillow to sleep on, letting you use his. He gave you a couple back pats as you drifted off until finally you were asleep and no longer crying.

♡ He went back to watch and kept an eye on you in case you had nightmares, but you slept just fine.

♡ As you may have noticed, the Company hasn't had much to remark about your unique eye colour.

♡ This is because your eyes a slightly harder to notice a difference in. The brown is very bright and the green is a soft shade that almost perfectly blends with the brown half of your eye.

♡ This perfect blend of colours made it harder for them to notice that the colours were different on your smaller eyes that you often avoided meeting people's gazes with.

♡ But they noticed it almost right away on Delta and thought she looked adorable.

♡ Bifur thought she was quite a lucky little kitty to be loved by someone so kind despite her unique eyes. Then one day you spoke up as they compliment Delta's eyes and asked about them.

♡ "Yeah, I was really excited when we found her. My mother said it was a big coincidence that we found a cat with the same coloured eyes as me." You softly laughed, petting Delta with a smile.

♡ The Company was quite for a while before Bifur finally made them ask you more about it.

♡ "What do you mean, child?"

♡ So you showed them. "I thought my eyes were very noticeable." You giggled, letting the light enhance the colours.

♡ Overall, your eyes are less noticeable, but Bifur made sure you knew that your eyes changed nothing about you. You were more than your outward appearance.

♡ But also, this is Bifur we're talking about. He brushes things off very fast when it doesn't seem that important.

♡ If you ever feel insecure? He'll grab a translator (Bofur) and make sure you know that your eyes will never change how others see you. Especially when your eyes are so pretty.

♡ He's great, but in a quiet way. He brings no attention to your eyes, mostly not noticing anything different regardless and only talks about them when you do. Like I said, he'd never push you to talk about stuff you don't want to.

♡ Bifur simply wants to make sure you survive in this new world and grow up just fine.

~~~

Ori: (Platonic): (Yellow and Grey)

♡ Ori was excited to travel with his friends and family and to go on such a daring adventure across Middle Earth to retake the mountain of Erebor.

♡ He was especially excited to join his family in some food at an apparently "very welcoming hobbit"s home.

♡ So when the Company showed up at Bilbo's home unannounced and without much more knowledge from the Wizard on who exactly this hobbit was, they were very surprised to find a young adult hobbit living with the older hobbit.

♡ About Ori's age, roughly 18 or so if you convert their ages to human years.

♡ Ori was excited to meet someone else his age, aside from Fili and Kili who were slightly older. So you can imagine everyone's surprise when they see her eyes in the bright candlelight.

♡ Now they've seen grey eyes, especially on older dwarves. This wasn't an uncommon eye colour at all.

♡ But yellow? Yellow eyes? And grey? Both? At the same time, but in a different eye each?

♡ That was certainly new.

♡ You didn't mind all their questions at first. Until they asked how it happened to which you had no clue. You didn't understand genetics, or biology and how could you? You were a simple florist who designed bouquets for any occasion a hobbit asked for.

♡ Anniversary? Roses, carnations and peonies. Birthday? Dahlias, orchids and chrysanthemums. Apology? Tulips, daffodils and lilies of the valley.

♡ But biology? All you could think of in your head was sunflowers and azalea for yellow; and low ho silver iris and edelweiss flowers for grey.

♡ But that was your brain designing a bouquet after your eye colours. Not the knowledge of how your eye colours came to be.

♡ Young Ori was especially fascinated by your eyes. How the grey would turn into an almost soft, pastel yellow in the candlelight and your yellow eye would glow like embers from a fire.

♡ When you were allowed to travel with the group, Ori watched as your grey eye glowed silver in the moonlight and the yellow glowed like a soft gold.

♡ You and Ori got along greatly and had lots of fun just talking about flowers and art. Ori would show you his sketches and they were so good you could pick out each individual flower he drew without needing to see his references.

♡ You were thankful he never judged you for your eyes. He was probably the first friend you had that didn't immediately judge you for looking a little different or 'weird' as others would say.

♡ He was super sweet and he even drew your eyes as best he could when sketching. You were more than happy to model for him as the sound of his sketching helped lull you into a cozy sleep late at night.

♡ This especially helped as the climate got colder and the floor harder to rest on. He can also read.

♡ So he'd sometimes read a book very quietly to you as you both huddled around the fire. You didn't understand the written dwarvish in front of you, but Ori was careful with his translations and the stories were very interesting.

♡ He said he only brought a couple of copies of books from back home, that way it wouldn't matter if he lost these books, he'd still have the originals. (In case you were worried).

♡ The stories of birds, dwarves, dragons and grand adventures kept your interest whilst sending you off to sleep. You dreamt about these grand stories. No wonder they were Ori's favourites.

♡ He was so sweet and always complimented your eyes. So you always complimented his eyes back. It was like having a brother. Similar to how Bilbo was almost like a father to you since he took you in eight years ago.

♡ You were a lost hobbit from a small hobbit town that was quite a while away from the Shire. Your parents died of disease and you were terrified of being next.

♡ But Bilbo properly nursed you back to good health and helped you through the grief and acceptance.

♡ And now here you were. Standing strong and with new friends, watching your 'father' flirt terribly with the leader of the group, Thorin.

♡ It was pretty funny and you and Ori got to joke about it lots when the other's wouldn't hear.

♡ Ori never once purposefully draws attention to you or your eyes, but he'll always be there if you speak up or someone else does.

♡ Like a protective older brother. He learned a lot from Dori.

~~~

Dori: (Platonic): (Silver and Dark Brown) ((This is gonna be long, sorry lol))

♡ When you were born, like most babies, you had very blue eyes. Just like your parents.

♡ But as you grew older, your parents watched with worry as your eyes changed. One eye getting lighter and lighter every day as the other became darker and darker.

♡ Your parents tried not to be too worried. After all, a local doctor said it was natural for children's eyes to change colour some weeks, and even years, after birth.

♡ But by the time you were 5 years old, one eye was completely silver and the other was a very dark brown. Your parents did their best to help you feel normal and to always comfort you after other children's strange or mean comments.

♡ Despite all that though, sometimes you wished you had an older sibling that could be by your side growing up. Someone to play games with, read books with, bake food with, etc. The other children were scared because your eyes made you 'different'.

♡ So they avoided you for many years. By the time you were an adult, you felt very insecure and styled your hair to fall over your silver eye as, 'brown is more common', children kept saying.

♡ During your first ever adventure outside of your small human village, you discovered a wandering grey wizard who took great interest in your clothing. You were wonderful at sewing and embroidery and he loved seeing all the intricate flowers, dragons and designs you had done on your clothing.

♡ He was especially surprised to find out you even sewed all your clothing yourself. He invited you to join him and the elves of Rivendell, of whom he was on his way to surprise with a visit. "They are very skilled with the fine arts such as embroidery and could teach you anything you wished to know about the art." He promised with a mysterious glint in his eyes.

♡ You ignored the thought at the back of your mind that wondered what he was planning and instead accepted his offer immediately. And he was right. Lord Elrond was very welcoming and taught you a great deal about sewing and embroidery. He even offered for you to visit as often as you liked between your future travels and you excitedly accepted.

♡ (Now the moment you've all been waiting for)

♡ One day after you had returned to Rivendell, a group of Dwarves and a hobbit showed up alongside a familiar wizard. You noticed them when they walked up the steps into Rivendell, following Lord Elrond who gave you a curt nod.

♡ You smiled and waved back, still holding a stunning Elven dress in your hands that you'd been embroidering. The elves had helped you to make it for special occasions if you ever wanted to join their celebrations in proper Elvish attired.

♡ Despite friendly nods from the hobbit and wizard, the Dwarves didn't really acknowledge you all that much - aside from glances to see if you were elf or human.

♡ But during a dinner with the elves and guests, they got to know you a bit more. Especially when you laughed and cheered to their songs and dances.

♡ You couldn't possibly be all that bad if you liked their music.

♡ They were there for weeks and during that time you slowly got to know them. An older dwarf, who was the eldest of his brothers, would especially spend time talking with you after you shared interest in wine.

♡ Every time you tried a new wine with him, he'd make sure to tell you all the cool details and facts about where and how it was grown, as well as how long it was left, why it should be left for however long, etc.

♡ You can now predict how long a wine should be left for based on how it was made. You also can sort of tell how aged a wine is by its taste. Not really, but you try and Dori gives you extra credit for that.

♡ His own brothers sympathize with the random wine and grapevine knowledge you'll be left knowing for the rest of your life. They too were subjected to hours of drunk Dori's stories and trivia.

♡ But the family was fun to hangout with - especially when they were completely drunk - so you didn't mind all that much.

♡ One day whilst you were drinking, Ori suddenly spoke up and asked, "Excuse me, (Y/N), but why does your hair cover one of your eyes? Doesn't that just make it harder to see?"

♡ "Aw, leave them alone, Ori." Bofur spoke up from the corner, smoking. "I think it's a cute style, (Y/N)." He gave a quick thumbs up.

♡ You returned it with a smile. "Nah, I don't mind the question." You chuckled, replying simply, "It is a bit hard to see with, but it doesn't affect my sight that much."

♡ You didn't feel comfortable telling anyone about your eye colour at that point. But Dori somehow sensed that something was a little off with your reply. He didn't pry, but he used his exquisite big brother skills to deduce a perfect solution to your current discomfort.

♡ Cheese.

♡ Therefore, Dori discreetly elbowed your arm and like a proper 'Wine Aunt' that visits every Christmas, he snuck you a little gift - a piece of cheese - when no one was looking and gave you a little nod of encouragement.

♡ "Thanks, Dori." You whispered when everyone was singing loudly and distracted.

♡ "No worries, kid." He grinned.

♡ Months went by, then years after they took back Erebor from Smaug. And you remained good friends with the Company and Bilbo. It was this winter you had decided to visit, your big brother figure Dori.

♡ During the time they were adventuring you opened up to Lord Elrond about your eye colours and he helped you feel more confident and comfortable with your appearance.

♡ It was the small things. Like the elves helping you change your hairstyle ever so slightly to show both your eyes and to frame your face better. Silver jewelry and beautiful leather clothes, boots and gauntlets.

♡ But all they did helped you so much, you'd almost forgotten there was anything different about you to begin with.

♡ So when you visited the dwarves, it's safe to say that jaws dropped.

♡ After all, heterochromia is one thing. SILVER heterochromia is another. Your eyes matched the fallen snow. The silver jewelry that adorned your ears as gifts from the kind elves. The silver moonlight that shone behind you when you entered the mountain.

♡ Bofur and Nori couldn't stop complimenting how beautiful it was and Ori desperately wanted to draw you. He'd never seen someone with two, beautiful eye colours and he wanted to remember the incredible sight.

♡ Dori basically became a temporary bodyguard by making sure no one was asking weird questions, or crossing your boundaries. He made sure to take you to a nice, quiet corner for some wine if you got overwhelmed by the attention.

♡ Your first night there was chaotic, but Dori had your back.

♡ He wasn't about to let anyone upset you. The group really helped you feel comfortable and confident. Adults being curious about such a phenomenon is very different to growing up with adults that feared the change.

♡ One day, Dori surprised you with a jeweled dagger the company had gotten together to make for you. "So you can stab anyone who insults you." Said Dori.

♡ "So you may defend yourself from danger, orcs, goblins or bandits." Corrected Thorin.

♡ "Or so you can look like a cool warrior facing off against wild beasts when hunting." Encouraged Ori.

♡ "Alright, alright. But it's also for stabbing." Dori huffed.

♡ "Guys, thank-you all so much for this." You smiled gratefully. The dagger was adorned with two jewels. A smokey quartz and a crystal. It matched your eyes.

♡ "It was Dori's idea." Balin grinned, throwing Dori under the river with his callout.

♡ "Well. Any decent person should carry a proper weapon of high quality. You see, higher quality daggers made by dwarves have a much better chance at actually piercing through veins and arteries with one cut and swing rather than the duller man-made blades that you sort of have to saw into an enemy's skin to pierce it deep enough to cause any proper damage...and of course that means the enemies will find their tough skin to be no match to the stronger, well smithed metal of dwarven craftmanship." Dori ranted in defense. Rambling a little, but you didn't mind.

♡ "Fascinating." You listened with awe.

♡ "You didn't catch half of that, did you?" Balin raised an eyebrow, watching you with a knowing-look.

♡ "Well, I understood half of it." You grinned honestly.

♡ "Ah, well allow me to explain slower." Dori cleared his throat and began with an added distant groan from Nori who'd heard all this several times growing up with his big brother.

♡ It was worth listening to Dori's explanations, facts and stories though. He was well-spoken, explained anything you missed and clarified anything you didn't understand. Like a big brother you had always wanted to be there for you.

~~~

Nori: (Romantic): (Orange and Dark Blue) ((This is gonna be very long, sorry lol))

♡ "If you let me sail, we'd be there by now." You huffed as Bard sailed the boat to the shores where the wine barrels wash up (after the Wood Elves let them out of the cellar of the Woodland Realm).

♡ Bard and you grew up together. You first met each other when your parents had decided to fish in the same spot out of Laketown and he pointed at you confidently saying, "You're weird."

♡ Other than the fish you were wearing on your head for a hat, you had no clue what would cause him to say such a thing to you.

♡ 'It must be because my eyes are two different colours!' You finally decided. After all, most other kids didn't like you for that reason. Apparently orange eyes were strange - especially when your other eye is a strikingly dark blue in comparison.

♡ "You're weird too!" You finally declared back.

♡ "At least I'm not wearing a fish for a hat." He rolled his eyes.

♡ "How dare you insult Saltwater the Third!"

♡ "What? Did you eat the other two?"

♡ "Daddd!!!!!" And that's how you two met as children.

♡ Don't worry, you still had a fish hat and you wore it all the time. The current one you had is Saltwater the Forty-Seventh if you were curious.

♡ Back to the present moment you two were in, he simply responded logically, "If you sailed us, the boat would be on the shore and the wine barrels would be in the water."

♡ "I don't see a problem with that. We could surf the barrels back to town."

♡ "Alright, (Y/N). You win. If you can surf a wine barrel all the way back to town, I'll let you drive the boat next time." Bard bet with a grin.

♡ "Deal. I'll be seeing you in town, later." You smugly smiled back.

♡ "Yeah. Tomorrow." Bard laughed. You couldn't help but laugh with him as the boat came to a stop along the shore. "Alright, let's go find those barrels." He sighed, hoping down and tying the boat to a makeshift post.

♡ You scouted ahead as he tied the ship up and saw the barrels further down the shoreline than usual. This isn't too odd considering the river's currents can be unpredictable. But it was the start to a very different day.

♡ The barrels were further up the shore - at a very rocky point - which meant you now had to climb up the rocky hill to go around a bunch of trees hanging at the edge of a cliff above the water to get to the opposite shore.

♡ You were halfway up when you thought about calling to Bard to let him know about the barrels when you heard water sloshing, footsteps and hushed voices nearby.

♡ There was no way it was Bard so you crouched down and watched a young dwarf with brown hair walk to the edge of the cliff not too far from you and sit down.

♡ He was emptying his boots of a lot of water right beside one of the barrels that you had first spotted from a distance.

♡ Upon closer inspection down below beside said barrel was another dwarf, a bit bigger with very grey hair that matched the rocks and a light coloured tunic that looked like dirt. Or was just very dirty. Either way he was basically camouflaged until you looked more carefully.

♡ 'Okay, so two dwarves near the barrels that elves use. I'm sure that's just a strange coincidence and they're just travellers.' You thought to yourself. Bard was only just climbing up the hill to join you so you decided to sneak around and spotted more dwarves that were seated behind boulders.

♡ 'Never mind, that's a lot more than two.' You mentally groaned. You snuck back to Bard just as he made it to the top of the hill. You pointed at the dwarves and used charades to count out 'thirteen' to Bard. His mouth gaped open and with a roll of his eyes he grabbed his bow from his back.

♡ 'Seriously?' You mouthed gobsmacked his first instinct was to shoot and ask questions later.

♡ 'There's more of them than of us.' He mouthed back whilst drawing his arrow back and aiming at the younger dwarf.

♡ 'So what? You're just going to shoot them?' You glared. He met your gaze again.

♡ 'It's not going to kill them.' He argued.

♡ 'I don't think that's the point here.' You finished and he reluctantly relaxed his drawstring.

♡ 'Fine. Just let me intimidate them.' He finally mouthed to you as the young dwarf was emptying out his other shoe now. He sneaked past you, drew back his drawstring once more and stood up to be clearly seen. The young dwarf froze in place and slowly turned around to look up at Bard. You decided to just watch from a distance, only having the skill to fight with a dagger for self-defense.

♡ He must've had all the dwarves' attention by now, still aiming his arrow at the same poor young dwarf. Bard's attention then shifted to the other dwarf who quickly stood up and grabbed a large branch - prepared to defend everyone.

♡ Bard then took his shot, the arrow whizzing straight into the branch's wood. Another dwarf in the distance, this one looking younger, picked up a rock and went to hurl it to Bard - but Bard was quicker and he shot the stone out of the dwarf's hand with another arrow. "Do it again, and you're dead." Bard threatened with another arrow drawn back.

♡ "Excuse me, but - uhm, you're from Laketown?" A new voice spoke up. You watched as an older, white-haired dwarf stepped forwards with his arms up in surrender whilst he cautiously approached Bard. "If I'm not mistaken?" Bard shifted and pointed his arrow whilst letting him continue talking. "That...barge over there." The older dwarf points to our ship which could be seen, but they had only just noticed in the distance. "It wouldn't be available for hire, by any chance?"

♡ "There's a chance." Bard unnotched his arrow and put it back in his quiver, swinging the bow back around his arm before stepping down the rocks as carefully as he could. "But it's unlikely. We're only here for these barrels."

♡ "We..?" The older dwarf was cut off when Bard waved you over and you helped him to start moving the barrels up the cliff to the ship. "Oh.."

♡ "Do you need help with that, lass?" A different brunet dwarf asked, approaching you and Bard carefully.

♡ You and Bard shared a brief glance, calculating how much sooner you could have dinner with a little help and finally you nodded. "Yes, please. Thank-you."

♡ And that long introduction, chat, is how you first met Nori.

♡ You, like Bard, were very skeptical of the dwarves and only helped them with the promise of pay. Double pay meant you and Bard could easily half it and you wouldn't be totally sacrificing all your pay to your pet cat. Which in turn meant you could buy yourself food!

♡ (Yes, you have a cat and yes he is your first priority. He's the best mouse-catcher in Laketown. He's the sole reason mice have been less of a problem and don't get into the winter food storage sheds anymore.)

♡ Nori thought you were odd to say the least. You wore a fish on your head, had completely different coloured eyes and talked like you were either high, or drunk, 24/7.

♡ You almost didn't have anything more to do with the dwarves after that fateful day, but Nori saw you struggle and stole some food before he went to the mountains and lemme tell you. After nearly 9 hours since your last meal, that little gift of stolen food was like a marriage proposal.

♡ In the Battle against the orcs there was no way you were just going to sit in a building uselessly with a bunch of other women. You grabbed a sword, petted your cat and charged a bunch of orcs, slicing as quickly as you could to deflect and kill them.

♡ During the chaos of everything, you bumped into Nori. Although you had no clue how he and you and ended up fighting near each other, you stood strong and watched each other's backs as orc after orc charged you.

♡ The battle felt never ending and you could've sworn a tinge of pink had lit up the sky and clouds whilst you fought for your survival. The sun was setting and you were still fighting.

♡ Once the battle was one and the injured were healed and Thorin paid people what they were owed, Nori and you sat down together near a dying campfire. You had gotten along since the battle.

♡ He would crack so many jokes it was great! He also liked your jokes. Your favourite thing about his jokes was: they were never about your appearance, or eyes or the fish hat you wore. He would joke about anything!

♡ From teasing his own siblings to laughing at how silly the Elves looked - being all serious. But he showed nothing but adoration for your eyes.

♡ Months passed and Dale was rebuilt. You and Bard had moved into Dale with Bard's children. Nori visited often. You two went fishing, shopping, hiking and scouting together.

♡ Eventually, he started to court you. His antics were amusing. Watching how dwarves court was quite amusing to a human. Nori would steal you items to show his quick fingers, stealth and skills. He'd steal you things he knew you liked.

♡ He squared up against almost any possible rival and even attempted to square up against Bard to win your approval. But Bard denied him and sent him to shop some wood instead.

♡ He didn't need to go the extra mile though. You felt the same for the sneak-thief. He was kind and funny and considerate. What woman wouldn't fall for him? Once you could finally sit him down for a meal, you expressed your feelings for him.

♡ The next day he made a courting braid and asked to braid it into your hair. You gladly accepted and allowed him to gently brush, wash and dry your hair over the next few hours. After the braid was in, you asked if you could do the same.

♡ And so the two of you spent the next few hours together once again, but this time as you brushed, washed and helped re-tie Nori's hair. It was probably the most memorable day you had in a while and you have always cherished the memory ever since.

♡ One day, when you were feeling just a little self-conscious, you asked how Nori felt about you looking different. Being a human surrounded by dwarves more often now...having two different coloured eyes...adults talking about you behind your back despite children adoring your cool fish hat.

♡ It had all just started to get to you and you didn't know how to handle it.

♡ "Darling, you're perfect to me. I don't care if you have blue hair or pink skin. You being human doesn't change how I feel about you...and neither do your eyes." Nori spoke softly.

♡ "Your eyes are like a sunset that meets the ocean. I've fallen in love with those stunning colours of yours." Nori placed his hand against your cheek and rubbed circles with his thumb as you leaned into his touch. Tears were threatening to spill out of your eyes.

♡ "Never change. For anyone. Please...keep being yourself...even if it's just for me. I love you." Nori pulled you into a soft embrace and let you cry out your feelings for as long as you needed. He meant every word he spoke and wanted desperately to show you in some way.

♡ The next day you woke up to a full breakfast-in-bed meal of all your favourite foods and even a nice hot drink for the cold morning. Nori brought you dark blue flowers with orange centers and orange flowers with dark blue ribbows tying them together. He loved your eyes and he really meant it.

♡ He even brought you a hat stand so you wouldn't lose your fish hats. (You had a slight habit of losing them).

♡ He was sweet and thoughtful when he needed to be. <3

~~~

Oin: (Platonic): (Grey and Light Green)

♡ When most people fall into a fictional world, usually it's their favourite. Most of the time, they're minding their own business and not working a 14-hour hospital shift.

♡ Unfortunately, you didn't conform to the norms of society very often and just had to fall through a magic portal as you finally finished clocking off for the night day. Because it was 4am when you finished work.

♡ So you can imagine the company's surprise when a mysterious figure falls from a strange portal in the sky. And when they get closer the stranger is fully decked out in weird blue clothing (scrubs), with their somewhat short hair neatly out of their face and very worn-through shoes.

♡ As if the person did hours and hours of walking in the same shoes every day.

♡ Which you did do.

♡ You're very lucky Gandalf is a super kind person to bring you with them to camp for the night and to look after you, because when you hit the ground it didn't matter that the fall hadn't knocked you out from the impact.

♡ The minute you were laying down in soft grass with the warm sun shining down on you, you were out like a light. You could've slept through a hurricane, tornado siren and nuclear explosion.

♡ Nothing the company did to make sure you were alive and okay the next day, woke you. All they could do was leave you to Gandalf's care as he carefully rode onward whilst making sure you didn't fall off. And hope you didn't hit your head.

♡ When you did finally wake up, you were hungry as fuck.

♡ You ate any food Bombur made and had three serves of dinner. The company was respectful, but cautious of you. They didn't really trust you until you helped treat Ori and Bombur's cooking burns with cold, creek water and some of Oin's herbs.

♡ After they realized you were a doctor they had so many questions. You happily answered any of their medical questions about the body, brain, organs and anything else.

♡ One of the questions they had was regarding your two different eye colours. "How did that happen?" "Does it just happen, or does an accident cause it?" "Is that an injury?" "Does it hurt?" "Is it annoying?"

♡ You patiently answered each question. "I was born with this. One of my eyes slowly darkened until it stopped at this light green and my other grew lighter in colour each day until it was fully grey." "It can be caused by injury, or an accident. Specifically if the accident or injury involves the eye. If the eye is damaged it may lose some melanin - the colouring - and thus change to a lighter colour. But that is not the case for my eyes."

♡ "No, it doesn't hurt. It feels the same to me as your eyes feel for you. I can see perfectly clear and it causes no issues. It isn't annoying, I'm already used to it when I look into mirrors or my water's reflection."

♡ The younger dwarves were especially in awe of your eyes. Despite the whole group growing to like you and come to you for medical aide, Oin especially took a liking to you. He was fascinated by such a young person knowing so much about medicine.

♡ He took you under his wing in this world and taught you all about the different herbs, mushrooms, medieval medicines and other treatments or small surgeries they were capable of performing.

♡ You absorbed all the information quite quickly like a sponge which further impressed the older healer.

♡ When Oin was sleeping early at night, or just resting in general, you would take over as the go-to-medic for the dwarves when they got a small injury, felt sick, or need medicine - like for sleeping better.

♡ You would also make them cups of tea, maybe a nice soup if most of the company caught a cold from icy, freezing rivers that they swam through.

♡ Even though the group wasn't sure about you at first, they really came to appreciate you in their times of need. Especially after the battle for Erebor. If it wasn't for your expert medical knowledge and quick fighting and thinking; Fili, Kili and Thorin (respectively) would've died from their terrible wounds.

♡ They had fought recklessly - though that was mostly Thorin's fault for being foolish - but thanks to your knowledge on healing and stitching, the three recovered quickly and in just a couple weeks they were back up on their feet.

♡ You kept a close eye on them; making sure they weren't going to overwork themselves. After the battle and aftermath cleanup was all sorted, Thorin took over the Throne and ruled as King Under the Mountain. He officially made you Oin's assistant and you basically became a 'royal healer'.

♡ Despite the official title, you decided to help anyone who was in need. Especially young children. The children were always fascinated by your eyes. They thought the colours were incredible.

♡ It was so heartwarming when they'd come back just to give you a drawing they did of you. You decided to set up a picture wall to hang all the lovely drawings. Anytime you felt scared, or were sick, you'd look up at the wall and remember how sweet and brave those kids were.

♡ Oin made sure you never overworked, got proper sleep and meals and he also taught you dwarven sign language so you could treat deaf and hard of hearing patients like Oin, or Bifur.

~~~

Bombur: (Romantic): (Dark Brown with Yellow around one eyes' center)

♡ You were a great cook and fighter. When the spiders of Mirkwood became a massive problem, you were put onto a patrol team that did two rounds around the borders of the forest each day.

♡ After that, you worked hard to make lunch and dinner with the other chefs and cooks. Great feasts for celebrations and small feasts to sing songs around fires with.

♡ So one day when you were preparing a great feast for another fun celebration, a border patrol lead by the Prince of Mirkwood arrived with a large group of dwarves who had been found wandering aimlessly off the path.

♡ You didn't think much of it until they escaped and caused great havoc with their unorthodox exit out of Mirkwood: riding in empty wine barrels out of the backdoor from palace, exiting through the back gate.

♡ Orcs then attacked the dwarves and elves whilst the elves attempted to keep the dwarves from escaping further and the orcs from causing more damage. You watched all this from a distance, killing off the few orcs that attempted to get inside the building.

♡ You couldn't keep track of how much time passed after that, but soon an army of elves were called to arms by the King. Everyone gathered in their armour, grabbing their weapons and standing out the door waiting for further instructions.

♡ You had joined the army, ready to fight against the dwarves that had recently reconquered Erebor. It was for the simple matter of helping the Laketown people who had called for aide since the dragon attack burned down their town.

♡ There were carts of supplies you would all bring to the people who were currently taking refuge in Dale.

♡ The walk to Dale with all the supplies took quite a little while, but when you arrived and saw all the wounded, sick and how desperate everyone was for food - the trip was worth it. Once the King talked with the head of the group and figured out what had happened, he then handed out the supplies.

♡ All the elves got to work: helping the injured and sick with their knowledge of medicine, handing out food, blankets, water and more. You got to work cooking up a massive pot of soup with vegetables and some meat for everyone to have a serving of, as was requested of you.

♡ That was the main reason you were there helping. Your aide in battle was secondary, helping the people was your primary mission.

♡ When the battle began, you did your best to fight off the orc invasion in Dale. There was no reason for you to be fighting up front at the front gate of Erebor when there was a serious battle just at your own feet.

♡ Defending children and the elderly during all the chaos was the most difficult part of the battle. You had to make sure that, whilst they fought and laid finishing blows, they were not hit unaware by orcish archers.

♡ Once the battle was won and the war was over, it was time to help with the aftermath. Burying the dead, tending to the injured, cooking up pots of soup, or stew, for everyone and handing out bread, water and other necessary materials or foods for people to sustain themselves.

♡ The dwarves were allies at this point and did their best to right their wrongs. There was an especially friendly dwarf who came up beside you one evening with more vegetables and meat - exactly what you requested from the dwarves for the next meal - and he even helped you cook it all up.

♡ He knew some herbs that you had never seen before and you taught him some elvish cooking that made food taste more tender and juicy - it was wine, but don't tell the kids.

♡ Over time you got to know your new fellow chef, 'Bombur'. You two spent the next couple weeks cooking food for the hungry masses until everyone had food supplies and shelter to stay at in Dale. Repairs to houses took a while, but once most of the major houses were done for food storage and temporary shelter, you were relieved of duty.

♡ Despite that, whilst the King finished up his business with the dwarven king, Thorin, you continued to hang out with Bombur. Sitting around campfires, cooking smaller meals together, trading jokes, stories, adventures and tales. You grew quite fond of the dwarf.

♡ When it came time for you to return to the palace with the King Thranduil, you promised to write to Bombur and he promised the same.

♡ And you both kept your words.

♡ You sent letters back and forth for many months and occasionally visited the dwarf for special celebrations where he asked for your aide in cooking - an excuse to spend an evening with you.

♡ Many years later, after five full years of courting each other, you both got married and lived together in Erebor. The King Thranduil did not mind your choice in love and wished you luck on your journey.

♡ The King Thorin accepted you fully as another good chef in the kingdom and made sure a feast was prepared for your wedding so you and Bombur could relax and simply enjoy the day together.

♡ Another couple years passed. You were all sitting at a table enjoying a couple beers when Bofur spoke up, teasing Bombur. "Still can't believe you managed to find and romance such a beautiful lady, Bombur. I mean, her unique eye colours," He gestured to your central heterochromia, "...her stunning hair, glowing skin, incredible cooking, gosh Bombur, you're so lucky. I hope I find a pretty wife soon too.." He sighed, taking another swig of his fifth beer.

♡ The alcohol must've been hitting him, so you merely comforted the tired dwarf. "I'm sure there's someone out there waiting for you too, Bofur." You chuckled. "Right, Bombur?"

♡ Bombur was staring at you intensely when you turned to him.

♡ "Bombur?" You tried again, waving a hand in front of his face. "Erebor to Bombur, attention Bombur." You teased. He leaned in closer and you were expecting a kiss, but he hesitated and maintained strict eye-contact.

♡ "Your eyes are slightly different colours!!" He announced excitedly. There was a moment of surprise and silence until the whole table was roaring with laughter.

♡ "You only just now noticed?? We've been married two years!! Courted for five years!! Knew each other for many years before that, how did you not see this?" You gasped.

♡ "I never really took a good look at that...I assumed it was the same in both eyes...I thought it was candlelight most days." He admitted quietly. His whole face was red at this point, so you pinched his cheeks and gave him a quick kiss.

♡ "Darling, I love you! But for Mahal's sake, dear..."

♡ "I know...I'm sorry, love." He shyly offered you his food as an apology and sign of love.

♡ How he didn't notice for all those years remained a damn mystery in your mind. But that was okay, because he was a bit silly, but very sweet.

~~~

Gloin: (Platonic): (Orange and Black)

♡ When you were just a young dwarf, you got separated from your family and lost in a busy marketplace.

♡ Your parents went to look at jewelry whilst you looked at some well made toys and trinkets for children. By the time you were finished looking around...it was too late. You had completely forgotten where they said they were going to be.

♡ You started running around, ducking under people's bags and trays, darting between people and dodging their legs and arms.

♡ Whether it was by fate, luck or chance, when you started to give up your search; sitting down on a stone bench crying, Gloin walked past and noticed your small presence.

♡ He set his groceries down and sat beside you. "What's the matter, lad?" He asked softly, rubbing your back as you desperately tried to sob out coherent words.

♡ But Gloin had a child already and didn't have to spend too long decoding your gibberish to understand you lost your parents and were all alone in distress.

♡ "Aw, that's alright, laddie. Come along, I'll help you find your parents. Hold my hand so you don't get lost and let's go have a look, okay? I'm sure they're looking for you too." He gave you a soft smile and led you back into the centre of the bustling marketplace.

♡ He was correct - your parents had been worried sick looking for you. You apologized and hugged them. They were so relieved and grateful they invited Gloin, his wife and child all to dinner that evening and Gloin happily accepted.

♡ They shared their home address with him and let you two say goodbye before they headed home. You had such a big day, you needed a bath and snack before dinner.

♡ After that fateful day, Gloin and his family had remained good friends with your family and you would play with Gimli quite often. Hide and Seek, I Spy, Tag, you name it - y'all played it.

♡ Gloin would join in too with your own father! It was so much fun running around and squealing when they jumped out from the shadows with a "Boo!"

♡ Gloin was basically an Uncle figure to you. Constant visits, birthday celebrations and presents, babysitting you and Gimli when your parents went on a date night.

♡ And the same with your parents babysitting Gimli so Gloin could treat his love to a nice date night!

♡ When you became a teenager and started an apprenticeship in smithing, you slowly became self-conscious of your eye colours. This was an unusual feeling. Doubt? But also guilt perhaps?

♡ Like a spiraling feeling in your stomach...like your eye colours made you different. Made you stand out...and you felt guilty for it.

♡ You couldn't figure out what was wrong. What went wrong. Spending so many years feeling accepted by Gloin, your family, his family - especially Gimli. None of them even mentioned your heterochromia.

♡ They didn't point it out as if it was a major characteristic of yours, a defining feature, or trait. They always pointed out your creativity, your energetic and bubbly personality.

♡ But since starting the apprenticeship and working alongside other apprentices - they started pointing out how strange, or "different" or "weird" your eyes looked.

♡ These thoughts and confusing feelings kept you up at night. But you didn't dare mention it to anyone. This was a new and strange feeling that you still couldn't put into words.

♡ It felt a little silly that you felt guilty for something you were naturally born with. You couldn't explain how strange that feeling was.

♡ There must've been a noticeable change in your demeanor, however, as everyone started being extra doting and sweeter to you at home.

♡ This went on for months until one day you were sitting outside with Gloin and he asked how you had been feeling recently. "Since starting the apprenticeship." And that's when you broke down into tears.

♡ That small, slightly concerned, question was the final blow to your constant turmoil.

♡ "Aw, lad. I thought you looked a little down recently. Come here, it's okay...shhh...it's all going to be alright, laddie." Gloin hushed, rubbing circles on your back whilst hugging you.

♡ Once you had let out all your pent up emotions, you felt like you could explain how you felt to him. You told him how the other apprentices' comments had been making you feel.

♡ How you felt guilty, doubtful, unconfident, different...the list went on. Gloin didn't interrupt you the entire time you spoke. He simply listened and occasionally nodded. Until you had let all your thoughts out.

♡ You felt embarrassed for breaking down so fast, but Gloin spoke up. "I'm sorry you've been feeling like this for so long, lad." He sighed. "Maybe your eyes are different colours. And maybe you stand out a bit because of that...but that doesn't outshine the rest of you."

♡ "Y'know, everyone starts to feel like that when life gets strange, or difficult. And that's okay. What you've got to remember is the talents you possess. Your skill at crafting things, is who you truly are. The person you want to be - aspire to be! That's who you are. Your appearance will change with time. You might start to go blind...your hair will turn white, but what truly matters is what you do until then."

♡ "If you take their unthoughtful comments to heart, you might miss what's right in front of you by dwelling on how 'different' you feel. Focus on the present, laddie. Focus on this apprenticeship and show those apprentices what true skill and talent looks like! And when you show 'em up and prove their comments useless...well, I hope to be there...standing behind you - watching you shine."

♡ Gloin gave you a big bear hug and ruffled your hair a bit. "Alright, kid." He stood up with a grin. "All these feelings are exhausting and you must be hungry by now. After all, you're still growing." He chuckled and helped you to your feet.

♡ "Let's go get some dinner." The talk you had with him had really helped. You took his advice and ignored what other's said, unless it was advice or about your creations. You were passionate about your creations.

♡ You learned to make lots of different things. From swords and maces, to necklaces and rings. Eventually, you aced the apprenticeship and continued to work at the forge shop - selling your creations and accepting new challenges everyday.

♡ And if you ever had another bad day like that again...Gloin was right there for you - making sure you got back up to your feet and never gave up your passions and dreams.

♡ You were forever glad to Mahal for such an amazing friend.

~~~ The End ~~~