#how creatine works

[sac-bestsupplements]

7 Shocking Things No One Tells You About Creatine Supplements: Weight Gain? Strength Increase? What does it do? Loading Phase? And much more...

Discover the top 10 best creatine supplements: https://super-achiever.com/best-creatine-supplements

Watch our whole Creatine playlist and get every question answered: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSFGiF-1NaB5FO2VpR7FDhXuRlfyJJUq8

- Will creatine make you gain weight? - Should you take creatine before or after a workout? - Does creatine cause hair loss? - Does creatine make you stronger? - Should women take creatine? - And much more...

#creatinesideeffects #creatine #creatinebenefits

🌟 Unlocking Creatine's Secrets: Top 7 Must-Know Facts! 🌟

Hello, Achiever Fam! 🏋️‍♂️💪 Are you ready to dive deep into the world of creatine? This supplement has been a cornerstone in fitness for decades, yet many myths and mysteries still surround it.

Today, we're shedding light on "Top 7 Facts About Creatine" to enhance your training and understanding. Let’s get into the real benefits and facts about creatine! In Today's Power-Packed Episode: Hydration Dynamics: Learn how creatine draws water into your muscles, enhancing their size and strength without adding fat. This process is key for muscle recovery and growth. 💧💪 Boost in Performance: Creatine is renowned for increasing strength, speed, and endurance. It helps you push harder and longer in your workouts, leading to significant gains. 🚀🏋️ Cognitive Benefits: Surprisingly, creatine also boosts brain function.

Studies suggest improvements in memory and faster thinking, crucial for both physical and mental challenges. 🧠✨ ATP Replenishment: At its core, creatine helps replenish ATP, the primary energy source for muscle contractions. This means more energy for high-intensity workouts. 🔋🔥 Anabolic Support: Creatine shines in supporting anabolic activities, providing the energy boost needed for explosive movements and muscle building. 🏆📈 Natural Presence: Your body naturally produces creatine, but supplementation can significantly enhance its benefits, especially for athletic performance and muscle mass. 🌿➕

Dosing Insights: Proper dosing is crucial. Most individuals benefit from 3 to 5 grams of creatine monohydrate daily. Understanding the right amount for you can optimize its effectiveness. 🥄📊 Real Talk: While creatine offers impressive benefits, it’s not a magic pill. It's a tool to enhance your hard work in the gym and support your body's natural energy systems. Quality and consistency are key to reaping the full rewards.

We Want to Hear From You! Have you incorporated creatine into your fitness routine? Share your experiences or questions in the comments. Your journey inspires us all! Stay Tuned: Subscribe for more fitness insights and tips. Our journey is ongoing, and there's so much more to explore together. Don't miss out on future guides and discussions! Until Next Time: Keep pushing your limits and exploring new ways to enhance your fitness journey. Thanks for watching, and we'll see you in the next video!

#CreatineFacts #FitnessJourney #AchieverFam

[egginfroggin]

Shooting Star

(Frantically telling myself that I'm not going to do this with every member of the zodiac, I'm not gonna do a monochrome portrait of each of them with their symbol in gold haloing their head, I'm not gonna do that I'm not I'm not gonna - *thinks about how to pose Dipper and the grunkles* frickign dang it)

[cerbreus]

in my quest to get bulkier shoulders/arms i seem to also be making my pecs bigger.... hm...

[blood-smiles]

Smut of sub! Yandere doll? Like marking him, dom him, since he is a doll with unlimited stamina, he is just insatiable. Experienced it once and he keep trying to initiate. Maybe some demonic love potion or etc (even tho we already love him) maybe something like that? Thank you for the food 💘

YEP YEP YOU ARE A GENIUS ANON!! Thank you for sending an Ask!! <3

🌶️ under the cut!

Turns out Demons have heat cycles, and you had no idea that the doll that was in your possession was just that, a demon.

Angelo had been insufferable as of lately, he had been extra loving and just overly clingy, you have no clue what to do about his situation, was he comfortable with you helping him?

yesterday he set your nintendo on fire because he got jealous that the console was taking way too much of your time and attention,

You were beyond done with the little shit, and you were going to make him pay you back every little bit of annoyance he caused.

that led to now, the doll was beneath you, his arms around your neck as you bit down on the soft skin of his clavicle, your teeth digging in so deep into him that you could feel his skin bunching up under your teeth,

“HAAh!- yesyesyesyes!” The male drawled out in a high pitched voice, he wasn’t even trying to hide that he liked it, what a whore..

Your hands were holding onto his hips, fingers digging into the soft skin covering over his hip bones, marking his skin with blotches of red and purple,

His hips stuttered with each bite you planted, his thighs rubbing together with every stroke of your tongue against his once unmarked skin,

this was what he wanted. He needed it just this time! Liar.

Having sex with you just felt so ethereal, so passionate and loving, this feeling he felt wasn’t lust, but instead infatuation.. Devotion— There just weren’t enough words to describe what he felt for you,

He didn’t do this out of only lust— That sounded unfitting of what he actually felt, but he was making love with you.. He loved how that rolled off his tongue..

His head lolled back, baring more of his neck to you, basically begging you to bite him there too,

drool seeped out of the doll’s mouth, his eyes rolling back into his head whenever your strap/cock rammed into his prostate,

You moved your hold from his hips to his thighs, propping up his long limbs on your shoulders,

Angelo mewled at the new closeness of skin, relishing in the warmth of your own skin, your cock was now pressed up against his G-spot,

with each thrust pushing deeper into him, you could start to see a belly bulge from the animalistic pace you were going at,

Angelo put his hand on the rising portion of skin, his watery eyes looking up at you lovingly, if you looked hard enough you would be able to see the hearts in his eyes,

“haa!~ so good! Feels so good..” The chestnut haired male moaned out, feeling the tip of the strap under his skin, it was like you were actually meaning to impregnate him— He wished he actually had working reproductive organs, he only wished he could get pregnant like a human would!

”hehe~ L-Love you being inside me..” Angelo giggled between whimpers, his eyes glazed over with tears, now running down his round cheeks,

You looked elsewhere, just now feeling embarrassed of what you were doing with the doll, how did things get to this caliber? You went from buying a doll from a second hand website to blowing that same doll’s back out,

you decided to bite down on his inner thigh, circling your tongue around the soft skin to create a bruise,

The doll moved his hands behind your head, gently untangling your hair, brushing back the strands sticking to your forehead, before planting a passionate kiss on your lips, his tongue lapping up your saliva like a starved man,

One of your hands stroked his dick, your nails teasingly brushing against the veiny portions,

you teased the tip with your index finger, the pad of your finger rubbing against the sensitive slit of the glossy head,

pre cum dampened your hand, the substance creating slimy webs between your fingers,

you gently squeezed his dick while keeping a steady pace, you could only imagine how good it felt being jerked off and also getting fucked, and that surely showed on the male’s porcelain features,

his hair was sprawled put on the mattress, cheeks a pretty red color, eyes were half lidded while he stared into your own eyes with desperation and nothing but pure love, it was like he wanted more, more, more.

you bit especially hard on his thigh, causing his skin to break under your teeth, the taste of iron fresh on your tongue as you squeezed his dick particularly tighter,

“Urk— O-Ough!~♡” that particular moan was even better than most porns, his fingers dug into your scalp, pushing your face closer into his bruised thighs,

“ThankyouThank youThank youThank you!!” Angelo cried out, his legs shaking in spasms, getting visibly closer to his high,

With one last high pitched moan (that would get a noise complaint) the ribbon on the present came undone,

“IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou!! Love you so so much!”

he tightly hugged your head close to his soft chest, your hand became covered with white ropes of warm semen dripping down your fingers like melted ice cream,

Angelo opened his eyes slowly, gently letting his arms loosen around your head, but not enough to completely let you go,

his chest rose and lowered, those pitch black eyes staring into yours, giving you one of his unsettling stares— Those that felt like he was looking at you like you were the only thing that mattered in his world (I’m going to have to hold your hand while saying this..)

Angelo kissed you once again, then again, again and until he was kissing your whole face, you ignored when he licked your sweaty temple,

“You did so well..” He praised, letting his legs drop from your shoulders to hug you against him more intimately,

you cleaned his flat stomach with a stray napkin, soaking up the residue of cum from his skin and your own fingers,

“Thank you.. You..You have always helped me— I know I repeat this a lot.. But You do know that I love you beyond life and death itself, right?” He smiled with a tilt of his head, holding your face in his cold hands,

You nodded, looking into his dark irises, you never looked into his eyes so closely, just now you noticed there was a slight ring of maroon around his pupil,

“You know that no matter who or what gets in my way will never separate us?” He looked at you expectantly, you nodded, “Of course you know, my dear! We both know that no matter what our love always stands tall.” He booped your nose with his finger before cuddling you into his chest again, his chin resting on top of your head,

he may just be a little crazy for your love, but he knows you secretly like it, and he just can’t let go of you anymore, his heart is far too small for the large amount of love he has for you, but even that won’t stop him from being with you.

nothing will stop him now.

A/N: pheewww!! That was a long one, my brain was having trouble thinking on what to write for him, well it was kinda fun! Enjoy! :3

[steelestallion]

💪Ryder Steele’s Muscle Gain Instruction Manual. 💪

A surface-level yet comprehensive beginner’s guide to working out/body building/gaining muscle written by a tboy with a degree in human physiology, with tboys in mind. Speed training, toning, and cardio/lung health training will not be explored.

(Part 1) Diet. Talking about food, their molecules and how the body responds.

An aspect of bodybuilding/exercizing that is just as important as the weights and workouts themselves. Generally, the more a human does, the more nutrition they need in every sense.

Protein is needed to survive as a human, 0.8 grams per kilogram of weight MINIMUM. (source) To gain muscle you need to consume more protein than that. 1 gram per pound of body is a good goal.

There are additional ingredients, Amino Acids, you can ingest to give your body more of what it needs to build muscle. The most common is creatine, and it can be found naturally in foods or bought alone. 14mg per pound is a good dose, (source) but you could do as low as you like.

Carbohydrates, fats, vitamins, minerals, and water are other things essential to keep you running, but aren’t the building block of muscle.

For vitamins, minerals, and water be sure to get the daily recommended dose. It’s worth considering a little more than recommend water, potassium, magnesium, and sodium in your diet for adequate muscle usage before and during working out. Also, a bit more calcium in general for muscle movement and the strength your bones must gain to support stronger muscles and weight loads.

For carbohydrates and fats, it’s important to have adequate levels of these. The body uses carbohydrates for energy first and mainly, then uses fats, then proteins. How much? Well it depends on how much you care about the image of your body, and what your goals are.

The Bulk is for people who want to gain muscle and mass a bit quicker. There is clean bulking and dirty bulking. Dirty bulking is eating a lot without much regard to amounts. Clean bulking is to gain muscle mass while keeping your body fat percentage at relatively the same level.

The Cut is for people who want to reduce their body fat percentage. Eating at a slight/moderate deficit to force the body to consume fat cells as energy. High protein is still consumed.

Before working out, you should consume something 30-40 minutes before starting. Preworkout, a caffeinated substance, or complex carbohydrates to give you the energy needed to begin and not crash.

After working out, you should consume a good portion of your daily proteins 30 minutes to four hours later.

(Part 2)Working out. Utilizing and ripping the telomeres of your muscles and forming neural pathways.

To build muscle, you need to utilize the muscles. To get bigger muscles, your body needs to move with more resistance than what it normally does. Weight acts as the resistance.

Warming up is an important first step to working out, as you need to prime your body’s systems and cells. Heart rate is the primary thing to warm up, because using muscles required your heart pump harder and faster. 5-10 minutes of warmup minimum of cardio is best. The intensity of this cardio is your choice. Dancing, fast walking, jogging/running, jump rope, cycling, etc. are good. Stretching is also a good precursor to the warmup as the warmup uses your muscles also. It’s a process, but its important to warm up properly to avoid tightness, cramps, or even things snapping.

The weightlifting a complicated and highly discussed thing. There are hundreds of motions across gym machines, tools, and muscles for you to chose from. Which ones you do depend on what is available, and the muscles you want to work. Write stuff down if you must. Here is an exercise dictionary.

Muscle names are good to know to decide which motions to do. Look at this diagram to learn, and build your own encyclopedia and routine.

Frequency of working out is important. If your body does not use muscles, they deteriorate. You can work certain muscles more frequently than others. Just keep adequate rest. You may see things like push/pull day, arm day. This is the type of motions and muscles focused. Dedicating a workout session/day to one muscle group helps keep track of avoiding overuse. See Rest for more. Once a week at minimum you should work a muscle group to keep it from deteriorating. Here’s an example: Sunday rest. Monday arms&core. Tuesday whole back. Wednesday rest. Thursday whole arms. Friday rest. Saturday whole legs.

Duration of working the muscle during a session/day impacts its growth. A rep is one time going through a motion. Sets is how many times you do a group of reps. 3x15 pushups is I’m doing 15 pushups. Rest. 15 more. Rest. 15 more. Three sets of fifteen. To build endourance, lower weight at higher reps. To build mass and strength, higher weight at lower reps.

Finally, the weight heaviness. You should slightly push your muscles to start, then base your weight patterns off of what is a good amount of strain for you. The more you challenge/strain yourself, the more it will hurt and build muscle mass. Also, the faster you increase the weight your muscles fight against, the higher the risk of injury. However, if you stick to a weight that is not challenging, your muscles will not grow. There must always be some element of challenge your muscles must always be chasing to keep up with. Thats what growing is. For example: I’ve been bicep curling single dumbbells of 10 pounds for months. 12 pounds is a comfortable challenge, and I can do 15 also but not the whole set. So, I may warm up with 1 set of 10lbs. Two sets of 12lbs, then finish with one set of 15 at lower reps. The number of reps per set could be 15,12,10,6. Decreasing reps while increasing weight to prep the body, but not injure too much.

(Part 3) Rest. Your body building new muscle, and preparing to work again.

In between sets of exercise, you need to rest your muscles for enough time for them to become reloaded with their energy, ATP. ~1 minute for heavily lifting. Ensure you’re breathing well also to give your blood oxygen. Deeper, healthy breaths during rest is good.

After training it’s recommended to give a muscle group ~48 hours of rest to rebuild the fibers. Rest means not training it, but of course if you need to use them, use them. Additionally, you can still be active and rest, doing a thing called active rest. Doing nothing at all, which has its benefits, is called passive rest.

Sleep is your body’s way of storing information and taking out the cerebral trash. During sleep your body produces growth hormone, your brain works to retain all of the information you and your body learned during the day, and generally refreshes itself. Napping can be beneficial also if it doesn't interfere with getting the minimum 8-10 hours depending on your age group.

Thank you for reading! If you have any questions, would like help creating workout plans, or would like a bit of praise or encouragement feel free to reach out. Also if there are any errors. Now go have fun!

[kayakima]

How the 104th cadet corps gets their exercise routine

(Plus bonus Porco and Pieck)

Eren: Jumped around on different types of exercise until Tae Kwon Do really resonated with him. It ended up being a great outlet for his energy and temper and once he started doing it regularly, everyone noticed he mellowed out a lot in his personal life. He’s a probationary black belt currently and once he earns his black belt he wants to make a display for all of his previous belts to hang up in his living room.

Mikasa: Hosts her own workout class once a week. Runs a fitness blog that focuses more on balance rather than pushing yourself continuously. Heavily cautions against eating disorders (especially towards men) and ends all her videos with “you are a warrior. Know this. You have the power to slay all the obstacles in your path, even if you have to do it alone.” Can bench 300 but doesn’t really talk about it. Is 100% that ultra-feminine girl that Eren loses his mind over when she randomly flexes and he calls her “muscle mommy” as a joke

Armin: Jogs casually in the mornings but he had a discount on ClassPass and eventually found a yoga studio he fell in love with. Wears traditional salwar pants and got embarrassed when Eren said he was wearing “MC Hammer pants”. Yoga is his time to decompress and he can probably fold his body into a pretzel. Goes to the meditation studio next door right after for an hour. Takes Annie to goat yoga for her birthday

Annie: Saw a run club online and thought that was cost-effective and easy to commit to. Sasha heard her mention it and got super excited. She still jogs with her headphones on and doesn’t talk while actually running but she enjoys Sasha’s company regardless. Does the color run every year with Sasha and Connie. Armin always writes a silly sign for her and sneaks a picture of her covered in rainbow cornstarch with a huge smile on her face and sets it as his phone background

Bertholdt: He’s tall and kind of lanky so you wouldn’t really think much of him working out, but he’s really into longboarding and is REALLY good at snowboarding. He’s casually doing Olympic-level stunts and is like “dude it’s really not hard you just have to lean into the movements and let the board go where it wants to go” if anyone asks him about it. His longboard is COVERED with OddFuture stickers he got at Zumiez

Reiner: Lives and dies by lifting. Has whey protein with every meal and curates everything he eats by its macros and nutrient density. It took Mikasa everything she had to convince him to stop paying attention to all of that and to just eat whatever he wants when he’s hungry because at the end of the day he’s still in great shape even if he eats some cookies. He still fell for the Bloom superfood powder hype though but at least it’s not creatine or alpha male podcasts.

Ymir: Doesn’t really think about working out but can hike from sunrise to sunset without so much as panting. Has a matching owala with Historia’s and could probably climb Mount Everest without assistance or gear if you left her to her own devices. When she’s in the vicinity of one she will scale a rock wall in ten seconds.

Historia: Works out more for the aesthetic than for the health benefits because she’s already hiking with Ymir pretty often. A stairmaster HATES to see her walking into the girls-only gym with her Owala that’s clattering with charms. Only wears matching sets from gymshark and does no upper body at all. Not because she “doesn’t want to look bulky,” but because she doesn’t know how to properly do any upper body and doesn’t really care to learn since Ymir is already physically strong.

Marco: Casually works out but he’s a swimmer through and through. Freestyle is his stroke but Jean keeps telling him he has the wingspan to compete professionally in a 200m butterfly. Goes to the local public pool on his own time but prefers when Jean is free so he can use his guest pass to swim in a private gym instead. His favorite pair of racing trunks are the ones Jean gave him for his birthday that look like Patrick Star’s

Sasha: Isn’t super devoted to working out but when Annie mentioned the run club she got SUPER excited and signed the both of them and Connie up. Took Annie to get matching running shorts and shoes and posts her stats on her Instagram stories. After running a 5k and the city’s annual half-marathon she celebrates by absolutely pigging out at Applebee’s

Connie: After joining the run club he unintentionally picks up a TON of girls on a regular basis. He doesn’t even notice they’re fawning over him and just thinks they want his number to get updates on official events. Gets really passionate about Hokas and all of his running shorts have some ridiculous pattern on them. Qualifies for the half-marathon every year and dumps a bottle of water on his face five seconds after crossing the finish line

Jean: ABSOLUTELY has an Equinox membership that his mom pays for (she knows someone in corporate who gets her a 75% discount). Brings travel bottles to fill with Aēsop soap every time. Does not have Equinox merch because he’s self-aware enough to know that it’s douchey. You’d think he lifts but he’s actually a great swimmer and invites Marco on his guest pass to race every week (he lets Marco win because he likes seeing him get so excited)

Pieck: Pilates Queen. Mooches off Jean’s guest pass at Equinox but he doesn’t mind because she always likes to take “gym couple” photos. Outside of that she goes to a local Pilates studio and gets the staff holiday gift baskets every year because they’re tight like that now. Has matching sets to work out in with the girlies but prefers to work out in biker shorts and one of Jean’s tshirts when she’s on her own

Porco: was originally a CrossFit fiend until he pulled a muscle and realized CrossFit does NOT prioritize form and you’re actually just destroying your body. Bought an Equinox membership at Jean’s behest but does wear the merch because he thinks it’s comfortable and doesn’t care if it’s douchey. Says Pilates is for girls and doesn’t want to be the weird straight man in a Pilates studio but is secretly very interested in it.

[mitigatedchaos]

Kontextmaschine is Dead

(~1,000 words, 5m)

Noted blogger @kontextmaschine is presumed dead, following the discovery that the sole resident at his most likely residence was found deceased during a wellness check initiated by concerned Redditors.

Prior to his last post on Aug 22, which indicated a serious health problem, he reported taking over twice the dose of creatine he had been taking at the beginning of his lengthy post-COVID health saga, in which he also reported becoming bisexual, having "zero" anxiety, gaining 3D vision after years of not having it, becoming incredibly convincing, and having to learn to walk and use his muscles properly again. At the time, he felt he was becoming trimmer and physically stronger, and reported engaging in a long project of yard work, although photos from the inside of his house generally looked somewhat messy.

A Tumblr user who met him briefly in person after the beginning of the health saga but before these most recent events reported that he was friendly, charismatic, hospitable, and clean, but "physically, a mess," with motor control issues on one side of his body.

Topics of discussion were similar to the content of kontextmaschine's blog, such as differences in east and west coast government in America, said to be "totally on brand," but it was said that the prolific poster seemed "less self-grandiose" in person.

Redditors theorize that the decline of kontextmaschine's health following his first self-report of COVID-19 infection may have been due to undiagnosed brain cancer, which could be more consistent with observed changes in behavior than the after-effects of a viral infection, given that most reports of "long covid" are about effects like fatigue, and not total loss of anxiety or alteration of sexual orientation.

Despite multiple suggestions, from both anonymous and pseudonymous users, kontextmaschine refused to seek professional medical care for his condition.

Regarding the mourning of public figures, in 2018, a period of increased Progressive sensitivity during the Trump Administration, kontextmaschine wrote,

through the years realized that through whatever blind groping the ‘90s-ass “edgelords” were desperately trying to save us from this, through proper gatekeeping and filtering at first I’d thought it was gratuitous and supported it being relaxed, maybe not shaming everyone who publicly mourned a suicide, mea culpa, mea culpa, I have debts to pay

In 2019, he added:

That was how we kept the internet culture from growing mawkish and cry-bullyish: basically, if you were so weak as to get weepy over corpsemeat you got cancelled, the shame would follow you forever and you’d never be allowed to forget it.

Given his writing, it is likely that kontextmaschine would not have supported excessive public mourning over his death, though in 2017, following the theft of his motorcycle, when the popular blogger @argumate jokingly criticized him by writing, "no references to pinball, no insight into historical Americana, this isn’t the kontext I signed up for," kontextmaschine wrote,

“when bad shit happens people mock me accurately” is the community I’ve been looking for my whole life so

Like argumate, perhaps the most famous of the rationalist-adjacent bloggers on Tumblr, screenshots of kontextmaschine's Tumblr posts would end up on outside websites.

Kontextmaschine was generally considered an interesting, if controversial writer. One Tumblr user characterized him as a member of the "obnoxious Tumblr right," though another user asked, "wait, how is kontextmaschine is right wing?" After another user claimed that the nuclear bombing of Oregon would be a net improvement in the world due to kontextmaschine's residence in Portland, tumblr user @random-thought-depository wrote a 2,400 word theory post arguing that kontextmaschine's philosophy was a means to coordinate to join a future political coalition favoring the formation of a more brutal and oppressive hierarchy in pursuit of his own advantage.

Though kontextmaschine's ideology advocates that humanity should adopt "r-selection," meaning more offspring with less investment in each (or youth, sex, and death), this blog dissented against the coalition theory, arguing that motorcycles, kung fu, women, Hollywood, and not having to report to HR are all traditionally cool, and the causality of the kontextmaschine ideology could easily run the other way.

Though he had a period of identifying as female in his youth, appropriately LGBTQ for a Tumblr user, his 2011 statement of principles, including "the lesser yields to the greater" and "suffering is the mark of a wrong person," and general body of work, could be described as a strain of right-wing thought, though not of the traditionalist Christian or rational technocratic varieties.

Prior to the post-covid health saga, kontextmaschine's health posting was primarily about his bipolar disorder, with both manic and depressive phases.

Kontextmaschine maintained generally friendly relations with other bloggers in his sphere of discourse, sometimes debating but rarely aggressive, except in response to anonymous hatemail. In response to one particular piece of hatemail, kontextmaschine stated that as a writer, of course his primary form of influence would be his posts.

In a post chain reblogged by dozens of Tumblr users, multiple Tumblr users wrote that they enjoyed his writing and are disappointed by his death, describing him as a unique thinker that will not be easily replaced. Several felt that there was not much they could have done, as after returning from his covid infection, he was not taking medical advice.

One Tumblr user wrote, "rip. Inspirational manic poster," while long-time and prolific poster argumate described him as, "one of the bloggers of all time."

Internet users speculate that Kontextmaschine is survived by his outdoor cat, Badger, about whom he posted frequently. He may also be survived by other members of his family, with whom he apparently did not live, and rarely spoke about.

It is recommended that enthusiasts of kontextmaschine's blog make backups of his writing for archival purposes.

[sac-bestsupplements]

Creatine Dosage Decoded: When to Take & How Much per Day? The Secrets to Max Gainz Revealed

Discover our top 10 best creatine supplements ranking: https://super-achiever.com/best-creatine-supplements

Read more on our website: https://super-achiever.com/how-much-creatine-should-i-take

#creatine #creatinebenefits #creatinedosage

👋 Hey, Achiever Fam! We're back to unravel the mysteries of creatine - how much to take and when. If you've caught our previous videos on Tongkat Ali, you're ready for this next level of fitness wisdom. Today, it's all about “Creatine Dosage Decoded: When to Take & How Much per Day?” Let's jump right in! 💪 Understanding Creatine: Your Fitness Game-Changer Creatine Basics - Essential for high-intensity activities. - More than just a muscle booster; it's a key player in your body's energy system. 🔍 The Right Creatine Dosage: Tailored to You Baseline Dosage - Start with 0.1 grams per kilogram of body weight. - Adjust based on activity level, muscle mass, and personal response. Dosage for Different Lifestyles - Highly active or muscular individuals may need slightly more. - Observe and adjust based on strength, endurance, and recovery. Consultation and Listening to Your Body - Seek professional advice for dosage adjustments. - Pay attention to your body's response.

⏰ Best Time to Take Creatine: Syncing with Your Routine Pre- or Post-Workout Debate - Potentially more beneficial post-workout due to increased muscle receptivity. - However, consistency in daily intake is more crucial than exact timing. Creatine with Meals - Taking with carbohydrates and protein may enhance absorption. Non-Workout Days - Timing is less critical; focus on consistency. Individual Preferences - Adjust timing based on digestive comfort and routine. 🌊 Staying Hydrated is Key - Important to maintain hydration due to increased water retention in muscles. 🚀 Creatine Loading: The Fast-Track Approach What is Creatine Loading? - Taking 20-25 grams daily for a week to rapidly saturate muscles. - Divided into smaller doses to reduce digestive discomfort and improve absorption. Benefits and Expectations - Increases muscle mass, strength, and endurance. - Supported by scientific studies. Tips for Successful Loading - Stay well-hydrated. - Monitor your body's response. - Use high-quality creatine monohydrate.

🏆 Wrapping Up Today’s Deep Dive into Creatine That’s the scoop on creatine dosage and timing. Remember, it's about finding what works best for you. Share your creatine experiences in the comments! 🔔 Subscribe for more fitness insights from the Super Achievers Club! See you in the next video!

[egginfroggin]

Help a girl out, Jheselbraum

Takes place in the same AU as this post

Smol Ford got injured, Mabel is severely doubting her level of qualification to continue being his cool sci-fi aunt guardian, and Jheselbraum is trying to play therapist (it is not the first time)

Transcription:

Mabel: HE'S SO SMALL AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING JHESELBRAUM AND HE ALMOST DIED I'M BAD AT THIS AND

Jheselbraum: But he will recover, Mabel, you cannot let yourself lose hope due to this-

Mabel: GIRL HELP ME I'M NOT READY TO BE A COOL SCI-FI AUNT JHESELBRAUM

Jheselbraum: "Mabel, please"

[lance-thunder-reporting-live]

Hey Phantom. I know you're a guy who likes to work out cuz you're super strong and could give strongmen like Mitchel Hooper a run for his money with how easily you tossed that bus the other day, so I wanted to run my gym program by you. Obviously, I'm going for max hypertrophy on all my sets. I do full ROM on all reps except the last few which I do lengthened partials.

Here's my push day where I train chest, shoulders, and triceps. Chest is my favorite day. Sometimes I skip my monthly leg day to do chest day instead. I'm so buff though I don't think anyone can notice that I skip leg day.

I'm totally natty, btw. I don't do any gear. Just cuz I know you were probably thinking I do because of how jacked I am. You should see me with an arm pump.

The first thing I do is I start my morning with two creatine pills and a full glass of water. Then after school, it's time for the workout. I take a shot of preworkout. I'm not a pussy so I just take the powder straight from the scoop. (Okay, I lied, I actually do mix it in my shaker, but I like to say that I take the preworkout dry because it makes me sound cooler. Do I sound cool?)

Then I warm up with 10 minutes of stairs to get the blood pumping, and I do my dynamic warm up. I do dynamic stretches with a broom handle mostly. But I also do pushups and dips stuff too.

My push day is:

Chest press: dropped weight warm up

Chest press: (godda get that chest pump at the start you know what I mean?)

Arnold press

Chest press incline

Lat raise / weighted dips: supersetted

Chest flys

Triceps overhead extension

After my workout, I go home and make sure to drink a protein shake within that hour window for max hypertrophy. I also take another two creatine pills with that protein shake.

So what do you think? Pretty sweet, right? My chest and shoulder pump from this is huge. I do an RPE of like 8-10 on pretty much everything.

In total I probably am hitting about 150g of protein per day. I'm in a bulk phase currently. Probably will continue it for another 8 or so weeks before I start cutting. My gains are insane right now though. Again, I don't have any juice flowing in me. Not enhanced at all. Just because I know you were thinking that maybe I was on a little bit of gear, but I'm natty. I'll take any test you want and I'll come up clean.

I love you, Phantom.

—Dash

P.S. Call me 💚

I, uh, I don’t really know what any of that means really. Gym is, was my least favorite class in high school. I don’t really think I need to get any gains or anything. Like, I already have my powers and all that.

But, it totally works for you, man. Like, that workout sounds great. And yeah, you have been getting really buff and stuff. Awesome that you’re having fun and all that.

And I totally believe you about being, uh, natty? Yeah. You don’t have to take any tests or anything, it’s all good. Very cool. Yeah

[nztsume]

• waiting for the big twenty-five •

homelander x you

{“Only one more year till the big 25. Aren’t you excited?”

This piqued at his curiosity. “What’s the big 25?”

“It’s when your brain finishes developing.”, you replied, remembering the information from back in the day, when you were still trying to get your Psychology’s degree. “Your frontal cortex- the one in charge of your personality and all- it stops growing at around 25 years old.}

Even if you’re just kind of a glorified baby-sitter, you just want to see him happy - instead, you accidentally make him worse.

read on ao3

------

Hi yall!!! The voices won and I finally ended up starting to write the young homelander fic of my dreams where we find out how he ended up being the deranged insecure insane man we know and love!!

In this one, you're Madelyn Stilwell's niece who works at Vought- and have striken an unexpected soft spot for the company’s latest investment- this insecure, shy but sweet young hero called Homelander.

Enjoy!

• 1 •

July, 2005

Every single day, at exactly 5.30 a.m., Homelander was to be awoken by the smell of coffee on his kitchen table. The coffee had to be fresh, beans grinded that same morning, no sugar, no milk, no exceptions. To accompany it, he was to have his pills: two of creatin– for muscle growth, three of protein- to feed them, a weight gainer– so he would stop being so lanky, and an extra dose of vitamin D, to fight those pesky pimples guys his age still got sometimes. All of them should be in a small container, so he could swallow them at once with his first gulp.

Next to his coffee and his pills, he was to have a folder with any relevant document for the day- interviewer’s questions and the answers he was to give, profiles of important people he would meet, scripts for any ad he was to film. All of that, including his schedule for the day- except that was to be read to him by you. This is how Maddie had told you it had to be done, and how you’d done it since day one.

You looked at your wrist watch, holding his coffee on your hand- piping hot, just how you knew he liked it-  and you yawned, watching the thinnest clock hand go round it, as the last minute before you could walk into his apartment went by. 

Finally, it was 5.25, and you could already walk in- so you did. 

You weren’t exactly his maid- he had several of those, but none of them were to do anything to his apartment whenever he was around. He wasn’t to have much contact with the normal civilians, the normies- as Maddie called them. You preferred to reserve your opinions at that- your aunt had changed a lot since she had started working here. 

What you were was Maddie’s secretary- and Maddie was Mr. Edgar’s secretary- or something. There was a fancier title for that, but you couldn’t recall it. All you knew was that she was aiming for vice-CEO or something, as it was the only thing she talked about whenever she dragged you to a bar after office hours, and insisted on drinking glass after glass of whisky.

As you finished setting things up, you appreciated the result- his cup of coffee, his pills, his documents and ah, a special surprise. One big, obscene chocolate cupcake, the kind where the chocolate topping is so rich that it spills and drips all over, with one beautiful strawberry on top, and next to it, one single candle. You weren’t sure if chocolate was his favorite, but you knew he had a bit of a sweet tooth- so he’d appreciate it, at least some. 

Finally, you took out your red lighter and lit the candle- and less than twenty seconds later, you looked up- and there he was. 

"Good morning, John.”, you put the lighter back on your blazer’s pocket, smiling at him. 

He blinked- eyes still not fully alert, as he scratched them. They were boring holes into the chocolate cupcake, and you couldn’t help to smirk a little- you knew he’d be interested in it. 

“Is that for me?”, he asked, surprised, almost like a child- and you laughed. Ever since you’d met him, about five or six months ago now, you’d felt like he was younger than his actual age- there was something about the way he stood in the middle of his own massive penthouse, like a kid lost in a big, elegant furniture showroom. Alone, quiet and shy, even when wearing his own super suit. It didn’t help that it was actually way too big for one person, with its tall, tall roofs, marble everything and sleek furniture- much less for an overworked twenty-something with no time for a social life.  

“Of course.”, you assured him. “It’s your birthday after all, right? Happy 24th!”

He pressed his lips awkwardly, trying to contain a smile- but that didn’t work, as he let out a laugh, and finally came to the kitchen island, almost a skip on his step. You couldn’t help to be glad- finally this kid was getting some happiness in him.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome.”, you said, sarcastically, as he went to town on the cupcake, taking big bites out of it. He stopped for a second mid-bite, mouth full of chocolate, to look at you with a smile- and there was a gleeful glint in his eyes. Actually, that was enough of a thank for you. Anything that made that perpetual sadness that he always seemed to hold go away, even for just a few minutes, was worth it. You laughed at him. “Okay- just go for it. But don’t forget your pills!” 

“I can’t believe it- this tastes so good!”, he finally said, after taking another bite- in less than thirty seconds he had eaten half of it. Unbelievable! “Best birthday gift ever!”

“Oh- shush.”, you crossed your arms, leaning back against the counter, watching him take a big gulp of coffee. “Just wait until you see what Maddie has gotten you- it’ll blow your mind.”

“I don’t think it’ll be better than having chocolate as breakfast.”- he set the last bite of the cupcake aside, finally taking the pill container, and eyeing them with disgust. You sighed- perhaps if they let the kid eat his breakfast he wouldn’t need those nasty pills- it wasn’t like he wasn’t going to burn it off in the training center literally thirty minutes later. You didn’t know much about supe genetics, but they couldn’t be too different from normal people’s, right?

You yawned again, this time covering your mouth to the side, as you let him have the rest of the cupcake and his coffee. You liked to give him some minutes of silence so he could enjoy it properly- you knew that that’s how you liked it when you had yours.

This morning in particular, you just wished you had gotten to drink your coffee alone- but your fiance was just arriving from a shift at the E.R., and you had to deal with his graphic description of a dick that had been cut in half by a broken wine glass. You were still trying to forget about it. At least you lived close enough to Vought- just a ten minute subway trip away - so you didn’t have to wake up much earlier than that. It was just lucky you knew how to do your make-up on the move, another time-saving skill you’d learnt in your college years. 

You heard him drinking the last of his coffee- doing that big slurp noise he always did, and you finally decided to take the document with his schedule- ready to tell him about his day. 

He was tired -he always was, but today he seemed particularly so, even behind the hint of a smile the cupcake had left him with. You could tell by his posture under those cheesy button up burgundy silk pajamas, shoulders too slumped, hips rested against the counter. You weren’t surprised- according to Maddie, ever since they’d debuted him close to two years ago to the public, he’d been worked non-stop. It was only time until he broke, you thought- but you could never say it to her. Your aunt had always been too good at pushing people further than they could reach, and too good at seeing only ahead of her; John was just another one of her subjects. 

“Alright”, you finally said, seeing the subtle move of his shoulders straightening at your voice, “Ready to hear about your day, birthday boy?”

He groaned in response, the hint of his smile completely being wiped away, “I guess…”

You pressed a smile for him, but mentally frowned reading over his schedule- he was packed, of course. “What’s that? Not excited about being 24?”, they’d even put an interview right after his birthday celebration- his 1 hour long birthday celebration. They as in Maddie and Mr. Edgar. “Only one more year till the big 25. Aren’t you excited?”

This piqued at his curiosity. “What’s the big 25?”

“It’s when your brain finishes developing.”, you replied, remembering the information from back in the day, when you were still trying to get your Psychology’s degree. “Your frontal cortex- the one in charge of your personality and all- it stops growing at around 25 years old. So you get only one more year of acting like a dumbass without people holding it against you.”, you added that last one joke to make him laugh- it worked. He wasn’t used to people throwing curse words around him. “Congrats!” 

“Just one more year, huh?”, he said, more seriously than you expected. “That’s kind of sad.”

“No way- it’s great.” you shook your head, “After 25… it’s like your brain rewires. You’re not embarrassed anymore, you get some self-esteem back from when you were a kid.”, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself, remembering how stupidly shy you were back when you were his age. It wasn’t that long ago, really, just four years- but it felt like another lifetime, somehow. “10 out of 10, if you ask me. Anyway–”, you gave one more sigh, before turning your attention back to him, “Let me tell you about your day. So- it officially starts at 9.10 where you- oh. I didn’t know this. You’re getting a new suit!”

His eyebrows rose, “I thought that wasn’t until September.” 

“Hmm, maybe they wanted to launch it at today’s park inauguration for your birthday- which is at around 11.30, by the way. So you get your suit fitted and all, then it’s an one hour drive, and then the inauguration. After that, lunch, and after…”, she frowned. “You have to have tea with- with Margaret Pataki and her friends ...?” , no way they were making the kid spend his birthday with a bunch of rich old ladies that wanted to get in his pants. You couldn’t believe Maddie. What in the world could have they offered your aunt to get the privilege of The Homelander’ s time on his birthday? Unbelievable.  You huffed. “Well… too bad you have your weekly marketing meeting. You’ll have to miss it.”

“I thought that wasn’t until Thursday.”, he frowned, but there was a hint of relief behind his confusion. 

“It’s not-”, you shot a look at him, “But you should get to rest for a couple hours on your birthday, don’t ya?”, you winked at him- and then moved on, before he could protest any further. Better not to think about it too much, or you’d get extremely mad at your aunt. “And then… your birthday celebration!”

“You’re coming, right?”

You looked up from the paper, surprised at his sudden intensity as he cut you off. You found those crystal blue eyes boring at you- like you were another cupcake, expectating of your reply.

“ ‘Course.”, you simply smiled- surprisingly secretly pleased. You liked him- he was a nice guy, behind all the pizzazz that Vought put him through in front of the cameras. Perhaps too nice, in your opinion- there was some trauma somewhere in there, you could tell. But you didn’t weren’t close enough to him to recommend therapy or something, although you had suggested it to Maddie… who obviously shrieked at the thought of their golden child going to the shrink. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Johnny.” 

“Thank god-”, he sighed, rolling his eyes in sass, “If I have to deal with Stan or Madelyn or any of the other old farts there by myself, I’ll laser my own foot.” 

This made you laugh. It always surprised you whenever he showed a bit of bite, as it seemed like whenever he was with Maddie or Edgar, he seemed like the best behaved pupil in the boarding school- and whenever he was in front of the public, he was an absolute boy-scout. “Oh- come on. I’m sure Noir’s gonna be there too. I’m not your only friend here, you know?” She hoped so, at least. John seemed to like Black Noir, although his presence in the Vought building was far and apart, since they hadn’t officially re-debuted him under the company’s name yet.

He shot you one last skeptical look before taking the folder with the rest of the documents- this was your dismissal, and you took it. It was ten to six, and he had to be in the training center soon. 

“Anyway- I’ll take my leave. Maddie’s probably sent me my tasks for the day already.”, you heard a low distracted hum coming from him, already walking to the door. Before you left, you peeked at him one last time, before saying: “Happy birthday.”

He looked up just as you waved, and there was a hint of a smile in his face- good. You smiled back, and finally, slammed the door closed.

 

-

 

When you worked at Vought- more specifically, in their superhero division, every single day felt like standing in the middle of the sea during a storm- wave after wave of issues and tasks coming at you, suffocating you at times. Truth be told, you weren’t supposed to be working there- you were far too unqualified, both emotionally and academically. 

When your aunt Maddie had found out about your mother’s disease, she, of course, had refused to help her. She had always been resentful at how resentful your mom had been of her, at how she had chosen a professional life path while your mom chose to have you at just seventeen, dropping out of school to form a family. Just your average sisters’ feud, splashed with just a bit of new wave feminism and abandonment issues. However, knowing you had dropped out of college, Maddie was kind enough to offer you a job in her workplace- none other than Vought Enterprises. Big shot shit. 

She had told you that she wouldn’t make any promises, she wouldn’t work with you, and she wouldn’t slide you in with the big supes, where she worked. She had hustled her ass off to be where she was- she wouldn’t let your wormy little self run on the path she had so laboriously paved. You were okay with that- any corporation job would pay more than what you were doing in the dingy bar downtown where you’d been working since you dropped off college. Besides, you knew your aunt had never been all there- the love-hate she always showed you wasn’t personal, it was just a thing she did.

It didn’t help that you weren’t even more than seven years younger than her, so a lot of your childhood memories involved playing with her teen self. She was more a cousin than an aunt, to be fair. So there were a lot of things you could easily let slide- her insane mood swings was one of them. You knew she meant well- behind all of her power plays and degradation.

Either way, that didn’t end up happening- you working for a less important division, like pharmacy. As soon as she suggested Mr. Edgar to give you a job he was into the idea- he liked to keep things between family. And in hindsight, it was understandable. The things that happened behind the scenes for supes weren’t half as glamorous or exciting as they seemed to be on camera.

This morning had been particularly busy, the waves of work slowly turning into a tsunami, as Homelander’s birthday was a top priority for the entire department. He was the star, after all- had been for almost three years now. He was Vought’s face and voice, their personality. The bright eyed, all-american, charming, strongest to ever exist superhero. America turned into the shape of a man. Everything they’d ever dreamed, they were training into this twenty-something-year-old. Any excuse to celebrate him was good enough for them- because it was as if they were celebrating Vought itself.

That’s why you’d been running all over New York the entire morning. The tailor had managed to mismeasure John’s shoulders, somehow, and they needed two more of the handmade eagle feather golden shapes that went… well, you didn’t know where they went. You had only gotten the gist of it, along with a brown envelope to take to the goldsmith- any goldsmith that would get them done before 11.30 a.m., when Homelander was supposed to debut his new suit to the world, to mark a new era or something.

Luckily, it was 11 sharp as you ran through Vought’s main hall’s doors, and 11.04 as you knocked the costume division’s door on the 45th floor. You were breathless, knowing that he had to be on the other side of the city, to Fort Lee in less than half an hour- although seeing how tight they were, he was probably going to fly to the inauguration. The city council had granted him his very own children’s park after he’d saved a school bus from sinking into the Hudson a month ago, and they had chosen to inaugurate it the very day of his birthday. As if he had nothing else to do on that day.

Maddie opened the door, blonde waves all over the place, breath ragged. You knew the signs, she had been yelling at someone- and you were lucky it wasn’t you. You saw a flash of dark blue somewhere in the background and you knew it was John- and your curiosity was piqued. Would the new suit be too different? At least it seemed they’d keep his colors. 

“Where are they?”, your aunt demanded.

Wordlessly, you took out a fancy necklace case out of the bag you were holding, “I had to find a different place- our goldsmith was taking too long to decide whether he could do them or in time or not.”, you explained, as she snatched it off your hands and opened to inspect them. While she did that, you subtly went on your tippy-toes, trying to catch the new suit without her knowing. “I think they look just like the mold-so…” 

“Perfect.”, she concluded, slamming it closed, and she took one look at you, with those severe eyes of hers. “Go to the 72th. They need help with the party.” 

After that, she slammed the door on your face. Oh well- you’d see it later, hopefully. 

 

—

 

The 72th was a mess- as it always was, since it was the floor where most Vought only parties were held, the ones no outsiders should know about. Before, you would have thought that that meant something sexual- perhaps some sort of massive over the top superhero and congressmen orgy, the kind conspiracy theorists would talk about- but soon you found out it was not the case. Rather- it was the kind of party where millionaires would get drunk and discuss whether bombing another South Asian country would make them profits or not. You didn’t know which of the two types of parties were worse.

This time, though, at least the purpose of the preparations was much more innocent- just a small party for every person in Homelander’s life to celebrate him and his birthday. It was kind of impressive so many people showed up, in your opinion. It was the 4th of July, after all- most everyone would choose to celebrate it with their families at the park- or even just watch the fireworks from their TV at home. Instead, about twenty or more people were there, running around with you- decorating, inflating balloons, making every cookie in the dish look beautiful and photogenic. All for him- everyone wanted him to be pleased. You were sure that as long as he was allowed to eat enough of them, he’d be just as happy. 

One thing you ended up noticing about the attendees was the variety, or more like, the lack of thereof. Most people there were some of Vought’s scientists, the ones you only knew of by their pictures on the Vought’s Best wall. You wondered what they had to do with Homelander, or if they were there just for protocol. Maybe these were the kind of people Edgar wanted him to surround himself with. Important people- people who did good for humanity. 

And no, no Black Noir to be found.

Interestingly enough, even they were helping with the organization. Perhaps they were close, you wouldn’t know. You didn’t know much about John’s past aside from what you’d figured out by yourself- and what the public knew. 

Either way, he was about to arrive, and you were to get Maddie’s gift ready for him. The box was a bit too big for it- but it needed the space, you guessed. You just wondered if the box was necessary at all. 

Somebody heard the elevator sound starting to ding up- and began shushing everyone, as they started crowding around the room, hiding the big table with the cake and different foods that they had set up in the middle of the room behind them. You, of course, didn’t want to steal any spotlight from someone who could actually be important to him, so you placed yourself to the side, excited for him to arrive. You knew he was going to love this; he loved attention- even affection, as much as he tried to hide it.

The elevator finally dinged on their floor, and the doors opened, and-...

“Happy birthday!”, everyone shouted- only for Maddie to come out, her heels clicking as she saw on her that particular face she made when she scolded someone- her words drowned by their scream. Everyone made a confused noise- wasn’t it supposed to be…?

Then- a massive spot of blue walked in- a young man with wide shoulders, an unhesitant stroll and perfectly coiffed blonde hair- clad in an imposing red and blue suit. Homelander.

You began singing Happy Birthday- loudly, completely drowning everyone’s confusion and whatever Maddie was nagging the young supe about- and everyone was super quick to join. And you had the pleasure to see John’s face go from a slight frown to a bright expression- as everyone sang for him- claps and even stomps to go with it. 

But… there was something off in his smile as he started recognizing the faces around him. You saw his eyes go through every person in the room with a strange restraint- like he was holding back something. Then- they fell on you, and they stayed there, somehow, it seemed that it made that off feeling fade off. You clapped and sang more excitedly.

“Happy birthday, dear… John-Homelan-Johnny !”, everyone laughed, as nobody quite knew how to address him, “Happy birthday to you!” 

You saw him laugh- eyes looking around in surprise at the decorations. Everything was red, white and blue- with lots of golden details, that had been your touch. They were the expensive kind, but anyone could tell they weren’t set by professionals. You thought it added a homey touch that he’d enjoy- and he did, as he quite didn’t know what to do with himself, with his hands, as everyone clapped and whistled for him. 

“Oh-!”, he finally said, “Thank you- thank you, guys!”, he was trying to play it cool, calming them awkwardly. 

After that, the short event officially started. The attendees started mingling amongst each other, coming up in groups at times to talk to John, who seemed more interested on whatever was going on on the food table. You had caught him eyeing it from time to time whenever he was left alone for a second or two, as if he was deciding whether he could have a treat or not .

Meanwhile, you were busy guarding Maddie’s gift- which was secretly the only reason you were here at all. Not by your own volition, of course- you’d obviously come to John’s party if it was up to you. But… somehow, you felt that without your aunt’s express invitation it would have created problems for you. Sometimes it felt like Maddie got insanely possessive of the kid- as if anyone could come and snatch him away from under her management and steal her progress doing that. You didn’t quite know- all you really knew is that whenever you made a small observation, offered a small detail you’d noticed about him, she responded incredibly bad.

It wasn’t too bad, though. At least you were saving yourself from awkward conversations with strangers- plus, sometimes John caught your eyes and smiled at you. He had even tried to make his way to you a couple times, always interrupted by a new group of people who called for his attention.

He looked good in his new suit, you had to admit. A far cry from the leotardish one-piece he had before- that only worked to accentuate his still teensy physique, still too skinny and lanky for what he was supposed to be Edgar’s final vision of him- this new suit was magnificent. It looked like it was a two piece, for once- which he was probably thankful for- held by a strong golden (gold?) belt, and a high collar, covering just enough of his neck to draw attention to the slight v line it formed. He had some padding, she knew that- but it was just enough, not to transform his actual size, but to accentuate it. He looked more mature, more secure in his skin, and it showed - even if just a little bit.

Either way, you could hear her gift getting more and more agitated by the minute- so it was a relief when you heard her voice loud, commanding everyone’s attention.

“Let’s open your gifts, John.” Maddie said, coming up from behind and slapping a hand on his shoulder, making him jump a little. 

The party moved to the gifts table, where a small pile laid. You dutifully took the box you’d been guarding on the corner of the room and started walking it by it with a bit of difficulty, mostly because it kept moving all over the surface- but also because it was making your nose itch.

By the time you had gotten there, John had already started opening some of his gifts. Someone got him an insanely expensive wine you knew he wasn’t even going to try, and someone else a piece of pottery. It was hard to make someone like him a gift- what could you even get someone who could have anything? Not that John ever asked for anything, though. But he could- and everyone was aware of that. Vought made sure they were.

As soon as Maddie saw you with the box, she took it from your hands and walked up to him- and the second he turned to it, his face illuminated. 

“A dog?!”, he took it from her almost immediately, sitting on the floor with it on his lap- hands fighting to open the wrapping as soon as he was settled. 

“Oh John!”, Maddie scoffed, annoyed, “You spoiled it for everyone else!”

He didn’t seem to hear her though- entranced on the unwrapping, and you couldn’t help to hold your hands together on your chest, excited with anticipation. You were sure he was going to love it.

And as soon as the little guy jumped from inside the box- you know he did.

“Oh, lord!”, he exclaimed, as the small dog started barking and twisting in his grasp- as excited to see him as he was, its tiny tail wagging so hard it was moving its entire little body with it. “Oh, my god!”

The dog, a small Jack Russel with a big, brown spot over one of his eyes, barked excitedly, and you were sure you could see John’s eyes shining with tears, sat on the floor while everyone else aww’d at them. You could tell that- for once- he had forgotten about the people around him, as he let the puppy jump on his legs, on his chest, licking his face, sat back on his hands, as if he was stopping himself from squeezing the little thing. He was happy, so happy , and the dog was too.

“I can’t believe it!”, he gasped, again, as he finally decided he needed to pet it, getting rid of the thick gloves that his new suit had, grabbing it with both hands. The puppy barked at him, tongue out, and a laugh escaped from his mouth. “You’re the cutest thing I’ve seen in my life !”

The puppy wriggled its way out of his grasp, and jumped at his face again, licking him- and everyone aww’d once again and clapped. You finally unglued your eyes from the adorable scene to your aunt- and she looked incredibly pleased with herself. You would be too, this was probably the first time you’ve seen him actively elated.

Suddenly, she was startled by something- and you saw her hand going to her blazer’s pocket, picking her cellphone in a second. As she walked away with it, you took a step closer to him- and he turned to you.

“Did you know about this!?”, he asked, incredulous, fighting against the dog’s excited licks, “I can’t believe it!”

You couldn’t help the smile on your lips as you saw him. “Obviously. I went to pick him with her!” you crossed your arms over your chest- still remembering the horrors of the testing lab you’d gone get the poor dog from. It had been a month ago, and the dog had stayed with Maddie until now, “He was not the youngest puppy in the uh- adoption center but…”

“Shush, he’s perfect.”, he interrupted you, holding it to his chest, and turning to you, “What’s his name?”

“I’m not sure actually-”, you turned towards where your aunt had left- and you saw her smiling into the phone, a small skip on her step- and you knew that body language. She was sucking up to someone on the other end of the line. “We could ask Maddie if she named him when she comes back.”

But as you said that, Maddie actually came back- almost running in the short steps her heels allowed.

“Let's get this over with”, she whispered to you, as she walked by you taking over the center of the small round that Had formed around him, “Hey, everyone! Let's cut the cake!”

Everyone agreed happily- but you frowned, running to follow her as she went to the food table, already starting to make space for it. You knew that this was supposed to come at the end of the party, but not even half an hour had gone by yet- what was she doing?

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw John's eyes shoot from you to her to Edgar, as he as well tried to figure out what was going on.

“Maddie-”

“Seems like his birthday interview got delayed a couple hours”, she whispered to you excitedly, almost like a secret, “Guess who'll get to make up for his fatal mistake of not seeing Mrs. Pataki and her friends!”

A sense of disgust immediately took over your stomach, as you realized why she was so happy. She was making John spend time with those women after all- she was going to get him to butter them up for Vought On his own fucking birthday. 

“Go help with the cake.”

You felt sick.

Behind you, you heard John approach and Madelyn’s arm immediately shoot to get a hold of his forearm and guide him to the center of the table, the dog still in his arms.

Suddenly, a lot of things started happening simultaneously. Edgar was on the scene now, - a cameraman that you’d seen wandering about the event next to him - finally caring about this party at all, as he seemed to be giving him directions about how to encapsulate the happy event. 

Maddie, on the other hand, stood next to Homelander- whose eyes seemed far, as he heard whatever she was telling him, his lips pressing in some sort of emotion you didn’t have time to figure out, eyes looking far away from the scene unfolding. You got closer, as you started fixing the cake decorations, and got to hear some of it.

“And you'll show off your fucking new suit and tell her ‘ You like it, Margie?’ like she's the woman of your dreams, okay? She needs to go home and tell Pataki that Vought's doing great things while she considers divorcing his ass. You need to make up for the time you made her lose, John.” she was instructing right next to his ear, and he seemed more out of it by the second, “You'll be so fucking sorry to her she won't doubt for a second that you made a honest mistake with your schedule.” 

People started gathering as well- their loud chatter surrounding them like a massive beehive, buzzing so close to the table it was even starting to make you dizzy and desperate, as you fought to make one of the star decorations stay up. One of the scientists came up to you with a lighter, offering to turn the single candle on and you nodded, mindlessly as your focus kept shifting to him, and the way his gaze dissociated more and more- and you were actually worried now. You’d never seen him like this, not this badly. 

“Homelander!”, Edgar called, his serious nasal voice adding a new layer to the buzz, just like the scientist's lighter he couldn't get lit on. “Move one step to the left and turn a little, the lighting's bad there!”

“Seriously - apologize like a fucking dog, you hear?”

“Fuck”, you cursed under your breath- snatching the lighter yourself and trying- getting to turn on.

The camera started snapping- and it added another layer. A group laughed loudly in the background. Edgar kept giving needless instruction. The dog started wriggling, running out of his grasp. Madelyn kept barking into his ear.

“You'll lick her feet- and…”

And you could almost hear it before it happened. 

“Madelyn, I fucking GET it !”

The loud high sound- the sound his lasers made.

The crowd gasped, shocked- but more importantly, the dog started fucking screaming in pain.

“Oh- no!”

Someone screamed- and all hell broke loose. John ran from the table to the side- where his laser had left a dark, charred line that ended with… with the poor puppy laying on the floor, bleeding and crying. You ran after him.

“Oh no- no, no, no, no…”, he was on his knees, and you fell next to him as he whispered the words to himself, holding the poor thing as it wriggled, its loud shrieks vibrating in your ears. His hands were starting to get covered in blood, and its fur was so bloody- flesh so mangled you couldn't make sense of any of it. “No- please !”

You were speechless, shocked, and the blood was draining from your face by the second. “It was an accident!”, you were immediate to comfort him, but his eyes were glued to the animal- unable to think, to do anything, “It was an accident, John, and-and…”

You looked around- but nobody thought like you- nobody else was stepping up to comfort him. Instead, everyone stared in… fright , taking fearful steps away from the scene like he was a monster- and that made you so insanely mad.

“I-I killed him!”, he exclaimed in horror. “Oh, God, I fucking killed him!”

“ No, you didn't! ”, your hands went to his shoulders, shaking him a little as his eyes filled up with tears- and your heart was going a mile a minute, “He's crying ! He's still alive!”

“N-no, no, I-”

“John!”, Maddie’s voice shouted- and you looked up to see her walking to you, angry, as she got out of her shock, “What the hell was that?! Are you insane?! Are you retarded ?!”

He turned slightly to her, eyes full of tears and remorse and pain- and you couldn't take it anymore.

You stood up like a spring and took a step between them.

“Madelyn!”, you looked at her in the eyes, heart still drumming, “ Are you fucking serious?!”

You saw her eyes widen and her mouth fall open.

She started sputtering your name, visibly shaken. You'd never ever had spoken like this to her. She was always the one that was right, the one whose decisions just weren't questioned.

“Y-you stay out of this!”, she finally managed, and tried to push you to the side- but you slapped her hand away.

“No, I won't! Not this fucking time, Aunt Maddie.” you stood your ground, stomping a foot.

There was a rage in you burning- and you instantly realized this wasn't just about this, right now. This was a rage that had been slowly burning- building up these last six months as you'd witnessed how they treated this kid, how they exploited every single second of his time. How tight his leash was. How simply sad and alone he looked all the time.

It had been burning since your mother had been diagnosed with that heart condition- and how ironically heartless her sister had been to her. How she'd offered you the job the same way someone offers leftovers to a starving stray dog, and how you had to swallow your dignity and take them.

It had been burning, you'd even say, after the first day Maddie had started this fucking job, and how she blew you off when you went to her apartment with a cake you'd made her to celebrate it- saying she had coworkers over and she couldn't deal with a child like you here, too, as if they were too important for you to even see them.

She growled your name one last time, “You're about to lose your job.”

“Then fucking do it, Maddie.”, you hissed back, feeling venom in your voice, “Fire me. Fire me! Who wants to work in a company that depends on how much they can exploit some twenty-year-old, anyway? Oh, but the second he makes one mistake you all look at him like he's a monster, right?!”

You couldn't help to turn around, including everyone in your rant now- every single person that was important in John’s life, who was looking at him like he was going to laser them next. Him, who was still holding onto the crying puppy, hands drenched in his blood.

“Don't look at him like that! God- look at him ! He didn't do it on purpose! You all pushed him to do it!”

You felt frustration building in you- as your eyes started to burn as well, angry. No, you couldn't let yourself cry, you needed to speak up!

You saw Maddie about to say something else when someone took a step forward- Mr. Edgar.

“Okay, okay everyone…” he had his hands raised up, voice infuriatingly calming and imposing. “Let’s calm down. You-”, he pointed at a random woman, who jumped at his calling, “Take the dog to the fifteenth, there must be a vet somewhere there.”

The woman quickly stepped forward- a middle aged with a messy bun hanging off of her head- arms in front of her, ready to take the still wailing dog from John while putting the most distance from him she could. Your eyes followed the movement as he extended the creature to her- his hands still shaking. For some reason, as this happened, you felt absolutely insane- like you were some schizoid character In a movie, and everyone else was just watching your crazy rants unfold. 

“And you- miss… Stilwell?”, he continued, turning to you- and as you shook your head (you didn't share your aunt’s last name, thank you ), he held a hand up, like he didn't actually care about that, “Why don't you take Homelander here home? He's still a bit shaken.”

And you're the only one here not afraid of his lasers, seemed to be the tacit rest of his request. 

At that, you stood straighter, facing him as a bitter bile pooled in your throat - desperate to keep jawing off about all you've been keeping, seeing these last months, about every single thing that they'd knowingly been doing to him- but you held back for him. Edgar was right, he needed to get away from this,  he needed some peace- and perhaps not to have to spend his birthday with some old lady who would be pawing at him all night. 

You swallowed it and nodded at him, chest still out and shoulders squared, like you were a shield and shot one last look at Maddie.

She was boring holes into you- mouth in a thin line, dark blue eyes unblinking in anger, hands fisted to her sides. You knew that look, your mother had been the end of it one too many times. But unlike her, you did not relent- and Maddie should better get used to it.

Then, you simply turned, falling to a kneel once again, as you grabbed his shoulder. His eyes were on you as well, those clear blue eyes, still watery, still shaking. His hands were drenched in blood, as was the rest of his new suit- he looked so small in that moment, so scared.

“John?”, you let your voice fall into a soft tone. At your call, his eyes tuned into an emotion you couldn't quite decipher- aside from intense gratefulness, “Let’s go home.”

[kitkatstu-dies]

Introduction

Hi I'm Kat! I'm an undergrad majoring in biomedical sciences!

Interests & hobbies:

Painting/Reading/Crocheting

Lifting, hiking, and going on long walks

Favorite courses so far: chemistry, anatomy, and nutrition

Currently researching 🔬🥼: how creatine affects perceived fatigue + recovery & how media affects perception of diabetes

My ultimate goal is to be a pediatrician, and after I get my bachelor's, I'm planning on going into a DO/PhD program :) My backup plan is to work in the lab hehe

[jd07201990]

Did you know the Military has a few specialized forces, in their Marketing and PR divisions? Sure, there are the Psyops agents working in Gaming Studios, ensuring impressionable minds are drilled with how exciting and fun war and fighting battles are. But then there are the Recruiters. You ever notice the are no unattractive recruiters? Even more so, the Jarheads that stomp around Schools, riling up future cannon-fodder, are always massive, aesthetic wonders. GI-Joe’s right out of Basic, pumped full of Redbull and creatine, reeking of testosterone. They grunt and yell, challenging Football Players to pullup contests, or holding pens in our hands, arms stretched out. Then at the end of the year, they snag a few meatheads, sign them up, and off they go, to the be broken down, emptied out, and rebuilt into Fighting Bulls, who’s only goal in life is to travel from base to base, all over the Country, playing with big-boy toys, and leaving pretty women with a 9-month US Army Issued time-bomb, and a lifetime reminder of the true purpose of the Military. Numbers. Why am I telling you this? Because by tomorrow, I won’t know any difference. I’m a designated Recruiter, my family’s classic good looks a curse when the Marines showed up at school Senior year. I wasn’t stupid enough to fall for their tricks, but that doesn’t matter when it’s the US Army’s word, against a Mathlete. Well, ex-mathlete. The only numbers I can think about now, are how many reps to break my personal record, and how many bellies are out there, swelling with future cannon-fodder. It’s only been 6 months since they got me, I dunno what they put in that canteen food, but as you can see… I’m built to Sell 1-way tickets to Dog-Tag University, to impressionable meatheads. They look at me and want this. But hey! They said I’d get to spend 6 months with my Big brother in Las-Vegas. He’s been there for a year, snagging drunk Frat-Boys tourists as they leave their hotels to go home.

[presidentkamala]

More cancellable thoughts incoming while we wait for our turn at this SSA office

Ok so the AOC/Bernie online gas machine is starting up in a big way

Bernie has repeatedly demonstrated that he will chase after what we all have decided is the "white working class" demo (thor voice but is it though dot gif) like ok at least its white. And male! Largely.

I can't wait to be lectured to about how we need to tone down the "idpol" (read: civil rights) and i just need to suck it up in order to defeat the fascists FROM THE SAME PEOPLE WHO CALLED ME ZIONIST SCUM AND REFUSED TO LOOK OUT FOR ANY PART OF THE COALITION for daring to point out that Kamala Harris is the best choice for president. lol.

That being said, do I want to see where this goes? Yes.

Do I want Dems to fall for the same mistakes (thinking that Bernie can lead these guys into the greater democratic tent without immediately pushing out black women and jewish voters) NO!!!! when will we learn!!!!

If Bernie and AOC for that matter want to make meaningful strides in the next few months they NEED to start making a powerful case for not just class war but also anti corruption, pro-democracy measures by strengthening our badly damaged institutions and reaffirming the centrality of civil rights to our society. Which is an anathema to the people most responsive to Bernie's Current Thing. Lol.

Hasan Piker needs to go away. I would love to go to his big beautiful 3.6 million dollar LA house and make him answer for literaly ANYTHING he's said for the past 8 years.

I DO THINK THAT we have to move past idpol in the sense of like. What factors largely define voting blocks like ~racial depolarization~ Its just that when THESE guys talk abt idpol it means Civil Rights specifically. Like wow silly me im just a hysterical identity politics pilled SJW for not wanting to bleed to death on the operating table while medical professionals twiddle their thumbs next to my body. For Instance.

BOOMERS and GEN X are coming thru rn in a way that GenZ just isnt capable of so i like stand by what i said earlier in terms of making sure they get catered to messaging wise first.

GenZ men......i would LOVE to test some messaging on them like im so fascinated. They are so hyper reactionary i think we can outcrazy them back to normal. What if i paid some creatine addicted gym rats to start waxing poetic about how Real Men need to think long term and be Strong In Silence and also social media is for beta cucks etc.

GenZ women on the other hand. I am slapping your face and then clutching your shoulders. You DO in fact. Want your own income. And your own bank account.

[sac-bestsupplements]

What Does Creatine Do & How Does It Work? Unraveling the Dark Science of Muscle Enhancement

Discover our top 10 best creatine supplements ranking: https://super-achiever.com/best-creatine-supplements

Read more on our website: https://super-achiever.com/what-does-creatine-do

#creatine #creatinebenefits #creatinemonohydrate

👋 Welcome to another episode of the Super Achievers Club! Today, we're diving deep into the world of fitness and health, unraveling the mysteries of creatine. Is it a magic ingredient for your workouts? Let’s find out! Video contents: 🧬 The Science of Creatine - What is Creatine? - Not a steroid, not just a supplement. - Naturally occurring in the body, especially in muscle cells. - Turbo boosts energy production during high-intensity exercises. - Aids in ATP regeneration for more workout power. 💪 What Does Creatine Actually Do? - Beyond Muscle Building - Enhances cognitive function in high mental performance scenarios. - Supports bone health, potentially reducing osteoporosis risk. - Improves cardiovascular system health. 🧠 Cognitive and Neurological Benefits - Brain Power and Beyond - Boosts cognitive agility, focus, and concentration. - Shows promise in slowing neurological disorders like Parkinson's and Alzheimer's. 🚫

Busting Creatine Myths - The Dehydration and Cramps Myth - Creatine does NOT cause dehydration or muscle cramps. - Helps maintain hydration in muscles. - No significant link between creatine and muscle cramping. 🔐 Safety and Responsible Use of Creatine - Guidelines for Optimal Use - One of the most thoroughly studied supplements. - Safe when used responsibly. - Recommended dosages and healthcare consultations are key. 🚧 Potential Side Effects of Creatine - A Closer Look at Risks - Kidney Function: Caution for those with pre-existing kidney conditions. - Electrolyte Imbalance: Importance of a balanced diet and hydration. - Increased DHT Levels: A consideration for those with a family history of male pattern baldness. - Compartment Syndrome: Rare but important to be aware of the symptoms.

🎬 Wrapping Up Today’s Episode That’s all for today’s deep dive into creatine! Don’t forget to subscribe to the Super Achievers Club for more insightful content. Got any creatine experiences? Drop a comment and let us know! 🔔 Subscribe for more from the Super Achievers Club! See you in the next video!

[gilverrwrites]

Hellooo, I hope ur doing well ;) Can I request Bruce Wayne/Batman for the headcanon meme ? I know this is a lot and I apologise in advance lol, but I’m genuinely so interested about your takes on Bruce 🫶🏼 Hi anon, I hope you don't mind but I'm posting this as a text post so I can add a read more to it. Thank you so much for the ask, I'm honored that you're curious my HCs. Again thank you, and have a super rest of your day! 💖💖💖

• what religion are they? how do they practice? Canonically, I believe he was raised catholic, and identifies as an atheist because if there was an all knowing God, why would he let Gotham exist as it is?

But I’ve always had trouble rationalising religion in comics. I’m also an atheist but if I’d met/knew Gods literally walked the Earth (Zeus for example) I would be having a crisis of faith. Pretty sure Superman once met the Christian God? Bruce clearly has a stronger sense of belief than I.  

So, practice wise; Growing up would be church on Sundays, grace before dinner. Nightly prayers. Once his parents had passed, while Bruce would be questioning his faith, I don’t think Alfred would have enforced such things if Bruce didn’t want to continue practicing.

• what holidays do they decorate for? For the longest time he didn’t decorate for any. Alfred decorated at least for Christmas every year, but Bruce stopped noticing once he became Batman.

It wasn’t until a young Dick mentioned he’d never been trick or treating that Bruce started to put the effort in. That year Dick had the best Robin Hood costume, Bruce dressed as Little John, and Alfred as Friar Tuck. Not only did Dick get to go trick or treating, but Bruce and Alfred decked out the front yard for any local kids too.

When thanksgiving rolled around, Alfred was delighted that Bruce seemed to care about it again, having gone out to buy new centre pieces. And that year was the first year since he was child that Bruce helped put up the Christmas decorations.

Every year he tried to one up the last, however, his presence on the day dwindles until Dick goes off to college and Bruce’s motivation to care about such frivolous things while Gotham needs him is gone. But this exact process repeats with every adopted child until there’s always somebody home, be they young and living with him or old and visiting.

• what clubs / sports were they involved in as a child / teenager When he dropped out of school, that also meant quitting any clubs and sports. The lack of team sports is probably a contributing factor to his inability to communicate well with others outside of strategy. However, prior to that he was a Cub Scout, as well as tennis and fencing (fuckin’ Rich kids).

Post homeschool (much like in the Gotham TV show) Alfred ensured Bruce was still doing outdoorsy activities; camping, hiking, learning survival skills. As well as Bruce insisting on multiple forms of combat training. He continued fencing.

• do they take any medications? No. That’s not to say he shouldn’t be on medication, he just doesn’t. Hard to speak to a professional when you can only tell them half of your life.

He does however take daily vitamins along with his protein, creatine etc. If he’s not taking supplements, Alfred is sneaking them into his food. He eats nothing but protein, gotta make sure he’s getting his nutrients somewhere.

• do they watch the olympics? do they prefer summer or winter Rarely has the time. But if and when he does sit down to watch I’d say his preferred watches are; tennis, fencing, boxing, and judo. Sports that mean something to him. For that reason he also prefers the summer games over winter.

• what are they like when they're sick? Nightmare. Alfred is a saint for putting up with it, honestly. That WFA comic where he’s trying desperately to get back to work whilest injured is 100% accurate to my imaginings. Even when he’s too sick to move, he’s still thinking up ways he can sneak out of bed, wondering if he should build a batlaptop for these sorts of occasions.

Crime is never sick; therefore Batman can’t be sick!

• what do they usually buy in a gift shop? It varies from place to place but typically:

Fridge magnet and/or some other small kitchen accessories for Alfred.

Stationary for Damian.

Preferably a cola drink, but if not a snack for Tim. He’s specifically looking for decorative packaging that can be saved. [See this Tim HC]

Pin badges for Babs.

Postcards for Dick.

An oversized hoodie for Cass. Black only.

An oversized hoodie for Steph. Tacky only.

Keying for Jason.

Puzzles or decorative decks of playing cards. (Duke is into tabletop card games, Bruce thinks they’re the same thing)

A coffee mug for himself.

• what color was their childhood bedroom? Blue, and it’s still blue but a lot of the furniture has changed. Can’t sleep in a kids bed forever.

Most of the new furniture is sleek, modern looking and black. He likes the gothic style, but this is where he often brings his dates/hook up, and the minimalist style suits his image better.

The old bed, desk, toy box etc haven’t been thrown out or anything, they’ve been used by most of his family as they’ve grown up and are currently in Damian’s room. Everyone who has used the desk (B included) has carved their their initials on the underside of it.

• what does a typical day off work look like for them? A day off? What’s that? Seriously, even if he’s not being Batman, he’s being Brucie, Mr Wayne, Matches, or Dad or even just working out.

On the rare, rare, rare occasions he’s not doing any of those things, the first thing he does is sleep in. He probably needs to sleep for 5 days straight, but he’ll only sleep until 10/11ish.

By now he’s missed breakfast (which is served from 8-9), so he’s latching onto the first person to pick up the phone and taking them out for brunch. By now he’s already itching to get back in the cave, and to thwart this he forces himself to stay in the city; go to a museum, walk in that park, visit a friend, go shopping for (another) new watch, anything but return home.

Will surprise Damian by picking him up from school. Damian, as he gets older externally complains and cringes more and more, but he loves it.

When they get home, he becomes a nuisance until dinner, offering help to everyone with anything to distract himself. It’s appreciated but nobody needs help with homework or housework.

After dinner is the home stretch, and the easiest part. He gathers as many people as he can in the family room for films or games, and by the time they’re done it’s bedtime.

He’s in the batcave at midnight.

• how many pillows do they sleep with? One. He has at least ten in the bed, every night she shifts all but his favourite to the floor, and every morning Alfred makes the bed and puts them all back and arranges them perfectly.

• what's their least favorite chore? He rarely does chores, but Alfred must have time off. The first time he took a week off since Bruce became Batman was the first time he realised the impracticality of having a CAVE! So much sweeping and dusting and everything smells damp, he has no idea how Alfred keeps it liveable because after 2 days Bruce was overwhelmed and ready to risk it all by moving everything upstairs.

• how often do they do their laundry? He doesn’t. If Alfred isn’t available, he’s been specifically instructed to take anything that needs cleaning to the dry cleaners. Not because he’s incapable of doing laundry, he’s not completely inept at doing normal things. He just thinks he can do it better. Which often results in the washer-dryer being ‘upgraded’ in ways that nobody ever needs, and Alfred hates it.

• what is their favorite wine / liquor? Prefers wine to spirits, specifically red. Or better yet, champagne.

When he does drink spirits he leans towards brandy, the same kind that his mother would drink.

• what is their favorite scent of candle? Citrusy, fresh scents. Something strong that pierced the musty smell of the Batcave or the damp of the city. Sage & citrus, lemon lime, maybe even mint cucumber.

• what's their guilty pleasure tv show? Again, he rarely watches TV. But I think at least once while on ordered bed rest he ‘accidentally’ watched every season of the Kardashian’s. He 'hated' every second.

He’s assigned all of his children a Kardashian and keeps up to date with every episode, just as a person who hates the show would do. He will never tell anyone else.

Tim knows. Bruce knows that Tim knows but they’ve never discussed it. Tim has never seen a single episode, but he’s seen memes, and will quote them in front of people to make Bruce sweat.

• have they ever done volunteer work? Bruce is a known philanthropist. The Wayne Foundation is a non-profit which primary cause is funding charities, hospitals, medical research, urban renewal, etc.

He puts a lot of money into The Wayne Hospital (or whatever its called dependant on the media). He also funds a lot of youth centres, and rehabilitation centres.

But as for actual hands-on charity work, no. It anything it would cause more harm than good.

Could you imagine being homeless, starving, at your lowest, and when you arrive there’s fucking media vans and photographers everywhere, cataloguing your worst? And then inside, the herald prince of the city that has screwed you over, billionaire Brucie Wayne is serving you ladles of dirt-cheap slop? You'd be mortified, pissed.

• do they listen to music or watch tv more often? Definitely music. TV is time consuming; music is easier to multi-task. I don't think he listens to much of anything other than classical and meditative music. Maybe some kind of classic rock workout playlist on Spotify that Babs occasionally hacks into and keeps adding back-to-back plays of Black Betty. Bruce gets so into his workouts that he doesn't notice until one day he realises he's done a 2-hour cardio session and Black Betty has been playing the entire time.

• do they watch the superbowl even if they aren't into football? Not into football and barely has the time. However, when it's football season, the men (and some women) in his social circles go crazy for it, so he keeps up with the matches through news reports and tries to watch the final, Batman missions permitting.

(Psst. I'm from the UK and know nothing about American football. I presume the Superbowl is preceded by a series of tournament matches like euro football (soccer) is?)

• do they collect anything? Children

Watches, and cars. Later in life, he's fixed on these things a lot more, because he's been collecting them for so long. But they started purely as a way to fit in with his high society peers. To make him appear more normal.

Imagine that scene in American Psycho where they're comparing busisness cards, but it's Gotham’s richest competing over who has the latest watch, the nicest vintage car etc. Now that he knows what he likes he's more focused in on those; he like vintage European watches and American cars.

I also love the idea that Dick once bought him an ugly novelty tie (completely earnestly) on like his second Christmas at the Manor, and that quickly became a tradition. Every year he gets a new tie, the most hideous the kids can find, and the following year, Bruce wears it during Christmas dinner.

• what hill are they willing to die on? Mint is the superior dessert flavour, milkshakes, ice cream, Oreos, coffee syrups. Dark chocolate and mint = peak.