#how do you seperate your personality from your environment

[bargaintears]

i #dontusetwitter but have been live with someone who did for a long time how do i stop saying ‘slay’ and ‘pu$$y girl’ when it’s being written into my code

[9x07]

how many times do we need to learn as people that irony and hyperbole can be harmful because 'jokes' aren't easily distinguished from genuine thoughts and feelings until we stop rewarding people for speaking or posting about violence

like even if you're joking/don't actually believe that/think whoever you are insulting is bad/immoral/fictional therefore deserves it - ad hominem attacks always do more harm to the people who share those characteristic then the individual you intend to cause harm to or discredit

[emdotcom]

*remembers what they did to Vanny* 500 FUCKING PIPEBOMB ATTACK.

[galene-gothic]

𝖶𝗁𝗒 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖿𝗎𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗉𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝖿𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗂𝗇 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝖺𝖼𝗍 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱

So, they'll be a workaholic. As independent as they'll be, they'll also be alone and kind of isolated. They'll be really guarded to date romantically which will naturally lead to them being commitment phobic. They won't be the most spiritual person, they'll be someone who'll be more grounded in reality at that time (not really to be honest, they'll be ungrounded and disconnected but will be trying to be realistic and logical). They'll be burying away their feelings and past traumas but after meeting you, they'll start gaining clarity on their fears. You'll cause them to be really confused because of their feelings for you. They won't express any of this to you at that time but they'll rationalise everything internally and feel a sense of gratitude is what I'm getting. You'll make them feel consumed, it's like when the both of you will be together, they'll feel a high but there's still some anxiety there. I feel like there'll be a lot of things left unsaid, some missed communication between the both of you and you might go through a temporary separation. About why they'll fall in love with you, there are many reasons but the main one is just how they'll feel towards you.

They'll feel like they were really mean to you and the way they'll feel towards you will just be out of control. They'll feel like even the way they acted towards you was not very controlled. This is funny, they'll fall in love with you but will be mean to you before the seperation occurs, however, you're not going to be innocent either. Your intentions seem to be innocent but because of how they'll make you feel and because of how they seem commitment phobic (they might make it clear to you that they do not have space for you in their life to be honest 😭). You'll also be cold towards them, at some point, you'll tell them something like you don't really care about what's going on in their life or something (it won't sound as mean but it'll definitely be saddening). You'll be in a very unstable place before the seperation occurs but you'll still have high expectations and standards (probably because lowering your standards earlier got you nowhere). The both of you seem to be really different from each other, maybe even opposites but there'll be something that just attracts you to each other, you'll be equally as repulsed by each other though. There's something about feelings growing very fast here, the connection has such a slow yet fast energy.

When you'll first meet them, you'll seem hyperactive in certain ways but will still have a body language and facial expressions that hint lack of energy. You might meet in an environment where you'll have to take up certain responsibilities but you'll seem too naive and playful to get things done 💀. There'll be times when you'll have small temper tantrums. There'll be some petty arguments, playful banters and drama (to be honest, it seems to be a major theme in your dynamic). There's something about you being really emotional and kind of lacking maturity. You'll teach them a lot of life lessons. After your separation ends, you'll show up as someone with a lot of integrity. I just heard "there's something called 'cause and effect'". You're going to show up as someone pretty honest too, especially with what you want in life and think that you deserve. You'll be on the right path when you'll meet them after the separation. There'll be something about you though, before your seperation they might have thought that you'd probably wait for them because they seem to have come across as a respectful person but that image will just shatter after they meet you again.

I wouldn't be surprised if you're mean to them though. You'll very much be in a 'should I stay or should I go?' energy before or after you'll meet again. You're going to be more focused on the long term so you might choose to let go of them. They'll kind of realise their feelings before your seperation occurs and after the realisation , they'll actually be in a deep reflection period. They'll come off as someone very mysterious and secretive to you. I feel like they'll just hold it close to their chest and might choose working on other things instead. They will give in to their pride and withdraw. They'll just give up, this makes me so emotional to be honest. It'll be difficult for them to control themself because their emotions will feel so raw so they'll feel like they need to get their control back by giving up instead. After you meet again after the seperation, they'll choose to be decisive. I feel like the both of you will look to the past and think about how far you've come. There'll be a sense of nostalgia that'll hit them as soon as they'll see you. I'm also getting that you'll have changed a lot, your core aspects will still be the same though. They'll choose to free themself and trust how things turn out. 'We don't talk anymore' by Selena Gomez and Charlie Puth is coming through here.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱

They'll fall in love with you because they'll learn something new through and from you. If they're an introverted person (like low-key anti-social), they could still enjoy being outdoors or around people if it's with you. People don't choose to be loyal, they either feel it or they don't and they will feel loyalty towards you. There's something about them seeing your potential and also helping them see their own potential. You'll make them feel really happy. There's something about wisdom coming through. This seems to be the classic case of 'real recognises real'. You'll feel safe around each other. 4th house and 5th house synastry seems to be significant here (could be composite too though). You will probably be mirroring each other a lot. You'll both meet each other after a very painful ending will have occurred in your lives. There's something about things just slipping through the fingers. A lot of things left unsaid, fear coming in, pushing each other away, etc. They'll fall in love with you because they'll see you as someone who's diligent and determined. They'll fall in love with you because you'll be self sufficient and independent, you'll also help them become the same way.

You'll feel like the calm after the storm to them, however, due to them not being used to the calmness, they will restrict their true feelings and character to a certain extent. They'll end up acting out of character and will be angry at you 💀. Their energy will be scattered and they'll act sort of arrogant. They'll show you unlimited potential though :(. You'll help them feel really confident so they'll naturally act confident too. There'll be times when they'll act really carefree and fun. The love between the both of you holds a certain innocence to it. They will be commitment phobic and end up expressing it in one way or another though. They'll make you feel special and you'll have a lot of fun together but they will give themself away by saying somethings that will make you feel like they aren't serious about you or you don't mean as much to them. Much like the first pile, there seems to be a separation here too. They'll be so different from most people that you'll have met but they'll not seem to be in the energy for anything serious with you which will definitely be hurtful. When they'll realise that what they feel towards you is actually love, they'll jump in and out.

The romance between the both of you (the first time) will be ungrounded and fast paced but also short lived. Even though the relationship doesn't seem to progress, spiritually the both of you will get so intimate because you'll affect each other really deeply. They will use their energy in wrong ways and will be restricting everything. They'll act really hasty, supposing they are ignoring you, it'll be in a haste. They'll end up acting like a heartbreaker and will leave you confused. They'll act really moody so you won't know how to act with them or where you stand with them. At the end, you'll feel like maybe you didn't mean as much to them as you thought you did. This is so sad, oh my god. You'll feel like they didn't care enough about you. They'll just act very selfish, I won't lie. They'll be non-committal and things will be messed up between the both of you. I don't know what will happen but the both of you will meet again, maybe they'll reach out to you. I'm certainly getting some sort of communication here. You'll both be grateful to each other and you in particular will have developed down to earth character. When they'll reach out, you'll not be the most receptive.

You'll probably have an argument or a discussion that's leaning towards you not being open to their offer. You'll tell them something like "things have ended already" or "it's better if we end things here". You'll even say something like "we're incompatible, it's not going to work". You'll have developed a strong identity by that point and will choose to come forward with self integrity. You'll be really forward with them and will try to talk to them in a mature manner. They will choose to come in slower, the energy that I'm getting is that they'll be feeling quite scattered too because you'll make it pretty clear that you don't want anything to do with them. They'll choose to give you time while still having times when they just feel torn and cold. They'll really want control over the situation again. They'll start expressing love to you through their actions rather than their words and will suggest that even if you're not lovers, you should remain as friends. They'll be generous and genuine. They'll just have good intentions for the both of you. They'll express gratitude to you very often. Due to the gratitude, it might be a bit difficult for them to let you go? Eventually, you'll give in and choose to trust them.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

I love this because the last two piles felt draining 😭. They'll be in a calm and emotionally healthy energy when you'll meet them. They'll be caring and tolerant at that time. They'll be emotionally mature and let's just say that they'll be a good person. They'll be considerate of others but still difficult to sway morally. They'll be rising above their problems and will have learned a lot from their past. They'll be positive as they'll know that they've gotten over the worst already. They'll either have developed or will be developing good communication skills. They'll be in a place where they'll want to be honest and communicative. They'll have gained a lot of clarity on a lot of different things and will be having realisations that will be leading to breakthroughs. They'll be pretty mentally stable and will be resilient, even if their life isn't going particularly good, it'll not be going extremely bad especially because of their mindset. They'll be feeling like they can battle anything that life throws at them, they'll be feeling proud of themself too. They'll have a vision for themself and their future. Their imagination will be running wild but in the best way possible. They'll fall in love with you because of how much potential the you seem to have. They'll see your potential and I feel like you'll have a lot of unused potential?

You'll somehow still be very confident though and will be self focused. You seem like the type to be like "wow, I'm so pretty, I must've saved a country in my past life to be born with a face like this" while looking at the mirror, eyes full of admiration for your own beauty. You'll have arguments but somehow it'll lead to revelations and you'll balance each other out despite how different or incompatible you are. You'll let them take the dominant role and they'll feel like they can assert themself with you. You'll hype them up and make them feel like you're proud of them. You'll make them feel like you see them for who they are and see their integrity? They'll feel like they're in the spotlight for you and you see them. They'll feel possessive over you and will want to have you. They'll feel such a tenderness towards you, they'll feel like they just want to keep you in their life. They'll feel protective of you and just adore you so much. You'll also help them feel more confident, they'll not be able to get enough of you, they'll just want more. After realising their feelings, they'll choose to trust you. They'll be more alert, pay attention to you and interact more with you. They'll listen to the things that you say and remember them so that they can make you feel special and touched. This is wholesome. They'll try to be more seen by you, they'll want you to take them seriously.

They'll try to talk to you about things and teach you a lot. They'll also try to get relationship advice from those they really trust. They'll try to create a valuable connection with you. You'll prove to be really helpful to them, you'll help them focus more on their work, they'll just feel really motivated to do better because of you. Even if it's just slow and small improvements, they'll implement those in their own life and also in the relationship between the both of you. Just being around you is going to feel so healing to them. They'll start being even more kind to themself and understand their past mistakes. They'll forgive and accept themself and the way things turned out to be. They'll actually choose to come forth to you with a strategy that is actually logical. They'll still be hopeful though. You'll either ignore the signs that they throw in here and there or you'll just be oblivious to them. Even you'll be working on some stuff within yourself so well you'll be critical of yourself and just everything. You might have been kinda guarded to them because of your own issues but you'll finally choose to be open to communicating with them. At first you'll withdraw from them to sort out your feelings but will make a firm decision after that. You'll let go of your fears to be with them because you'll love them. After you choose them, you'll also find new purposes in life. This is truly beautiful. The direction will be chosen and set for the both of you. I'm happy for you, take care.

[fruttymoment]

Do you think only Rue is a robot or is Cedric secretly a robot too in that one theory?

When Niko asks the question, Cedric answers too!

Unsure if this is a theory at this point; but it is HEAVILY suggested that both Rue and Cedric are robots as well, just like Proto. Pretty sure it's also confirmed by Nightmargin herself, in somewhere! I just forgor

I do, however, have another theory. Based in this interaction :

Since the entire world is just a simulation, is EVERYONE there technically is a robot?

Are Proto, Cedric and Rue specifically robots because they are The Author's children?

It's hard to say a certain thing because first of all we have no idea what exactly makes a robot, well, 'robot', in the universe of OneShot.

A robot is an entity with computing power, specifically designed to do a certain task. We see nurse robots, rowbots, guardian robots etc. in the game. All of them surely are robots, but they have different missions and are built for different tasks.

However, just like other people, robots are NPCs. NPCs in OneShot are basically simulated people, and are not real. Well, they WERE real in the Old World. Now it's not really them but their digital version of themselves, built by complex coding from The Author that 'lives' inside of The World Machine's simulation.

Imagine the Earth we know today is about to be destroyed tomorrow. In horror, scientists somehow figure out how to turn you into a code to simulate yourself in a computer. Forever, perhaps. It's still you with your emotions, habits, thoughts and stuff! It's just that you are not real anymore, but just powered by electricity inside of a computer. You just dont know it.

This of course creates something.. rather interesting.

What is real? What isn't?

WELL WE HAVE NO IDEA BOUT THAT IRL. In the universe of OneShot though; anyone that is living in this simulated environment is an NPC. NPCs don't remember anything when you reset the game for Solstice run, because they are a part of the simulation. They ARE the simulation. And when you reset the game, so the simulation is formatted. No one remembers Niko and anything.

Niko is the messiah because they are a real person. They do not belong this simulation, they have their own world and life. They came to this simulated environment from somewhere else; they never belonged here and they were never a part of the Old World.

This is the difference between real people and NPCs in OneShot, basically. I hope??

Now, one has to ask. The Author has left the world in his 'own terms'. He is probably alive though. But, what about their children? Why are they.. seperated?

I don't think we have any official explanation. A thing I found is apparently Author, Cedric, Rue and Proto all lived in the Real World. So, they existed there. Pay attention to this because it will be... relevant.

Rue, Cedric and Proto are The Author's children. Altho, the wiki sometimes say 'creations' which I am very unsure. In any way, they lived together. They all do call him their "Father". It may not be the word 'father' we think, but maybe a creator too.

Now, this makes me wonder. The Author left, but why their children remains in the simulation? Maybe an accident happened?

Here is a very super weird fact.

Because technically they are bound to the simulation, all three siblings are considered as NPCs.

Wait um

Are they.. NPCs? If i remember correctly, Proto said that they themselves arent regular NPCs. He even knows what NPC is, and why they dont remember anything.

So...? Why three of them are special in this way? Maybe Author just made them so. Everyone else is from the Real World too, but the three siblings are somehow special in a matter.

So! The siblings are robots but arent just NPCs.

But. Then, what the fuck??

WERE THEY ALWAYS ROBOTS OR LIKE?? Why other people arent robots, but Cedric and Rue are?? They do NOT look like robots!

Did three of them fucking DIED irl and Author pulled a William Afton and made them robots??? WHAT

HOW DOES THAT WORK. SINCE THEY ARE CONSIDERED AS REAL AND NOT NPCS, THEY ARE NOT SIMULATED AT ALL. THEY JUST- THATS HOW THEY EXISTED IRL. HUH?? BUT-

Dont worry it gets worse :)

Remember just when i said Proto, Cedric and Rue arent NPCs but real people, riight?

Prepare to lose your shit because i am going to tell you somrthing.

"When Rue, Cedric, and Proto must be placed in the portal near the end of the Solstice run, Rue is the only one who doesn't have the "NPC" tag on her spritesheet."

- OneShot Wiki , a fact

Oh!

Rue

Rue, that fuckinf fox that i love completely destroys something we thought.

Rue :3

She fucking. Causes a HUGE problem.

According to the game files ITSELF, Rue is the ONLY ONE that does NOT have NPC tag.

This could mean two things. Lets see.

This is only a technical game thing. Rue does not have a NPC tag, because she is the only one that meets you before Solstice. She then remembers and knows you in Solstice. Proto and Cedric are not met before Solstice, thus they technically count as NPCs in not lore but technical game way. In short : Because Rue is the only one that remembers you afterwards, the devs themselves could removed the NPC tag to note themselves that Rue is different. Maybe thats how game code works too? Maybe if you give a NPC tag to a character, it means the character will be resetted after the save file gimmick is deleted. Rue not having an NPC tag could maaybe mean she is supposed to be not affected by a reset, and remembers, so has special interactions

Something malicious is brewing. Oh my fucking god

Tbh, both seem... weak? First of all I dont think the devs simply forgor the name tag for Rue. As a dev NAMING files and confirming everything, that doesnt seem normal. Maybe they really did forgot?? But it could easily be changed by an update or something afterwards?

Another thing is : its just a name in her spritesheets. A name of a spritesheet surely can change some stuff in game engine specifically, but um. I am very unsure.

Anyways. Lets see.

Screenshots from OneShot TWM Edition.

... well! She STILL has no NPC tag !!

THE DEVS KNOW.

THERE MUST BE A REASON. BUT WHICH ONE???

Is it somehow a technical thing???

Or. Something rather funny is going on.

Well um. We literally need direct answer from Nightmargin if its a lore thing; or perhaps GIR & Eliza if its a technical coding reason. Who knows??

I actually will ask this to Nightmargin in her Tumblr Q&A. Who knows, maybe she will answer!!!

If its a technical reason, then there isnt much stuff to discuss here. All three of them are possibly something else than just a simple NPC.

...if not, Rue is. Someone special perhaps. There may be a whole stuff we dont know about Rue and the siblings.

Rue always felt slightly different. Who knows.

Anyway TLDR ; Cedric is a robot too lol

[silly-writes]

Hi! I love your work! Can you do a Mike + alters, Scott, Alejandro (seperate) x reader where the reader has really bad sensory issues, especially with loud noises, and can have panic attacks from them? if your not okay with writing this then that’s totally fine /gen. it’s important to take care of yourself.

Contestants with reader who gets overstimulated.

Aaa thank u for this request anon! Yes i'm totally comfortable writing this kind of stuff! Thanks for being so kind about it! As an autistic person with really bad sensory issues myself I actually find it a thearputic, lol. Okay enough about me, enjoy!

Mike

dealing with a traumagenic disorder (DID) I would imagine he's honestly kind of in the same boat.

He's no stranger to panic attacks, and is pretty well versed by now in how to deal with them.

The first time it happens though he's sort of an anxious wreck, he's just nervous that trying to help might make it worse, but he doesn't want to leave your side.

He gives you lot's of words of encouragement, and helps you through breathing exercises, and gets you plenty of water.

"It's okay, breathe with me, I'm right here," he assures you gently.

If you require pressure/physical contact during your panic attacks, he's more than happy to give you that.

He gets good at catching them too, he'll always be able to identify when you're about to spiral because of too much noise or too bright lights, and he'll find a quiet secluded room so he can work through it with you.

"Sorry you have to deal with this too," you said, after a particularly bad one, you still felt dizzy, and tears still stained your face, but you had come out of it now, and felt a little guilty.

"Hey don't apologize, I don't mind. Not at all."

He's just very caring with this kind of stuff in general.

Manitoba

Maintoba is similar to Mike, and I would think he likes to carry around a backpack whenever he is fronting (you never know when you're going to run into treasure). So he always keeps noise canceling headphones and a pair of sunglasses in there just for you.

Honestly I headcanon him as the caretaker of the system, so I imagine he's used to caring for people during panic attacks.

He's very observant, probably even more so than Mike, so he's better at avoiding them all together by identifying what situations you can handle and what you can't.

He always does a little research before the two of you go out in the environment to ensure that it doesn't seem loud/bright/overstimulating.

However sometimes these things are just unavoidable, and inevitable.

He'll provide you with whatever physical comfort you require, if any at all.

Anything you need, he's there to get for you.

"Take all the time in the world treasure, I'll still be here," he said.

He's all around good at keeping you grounded, and just good at being there with you.

Svetlana

I would think Svetlana is probably the protector/gatekeeper, most of her comfort comes from her just being fiercely loyal.

She'll be there no matter what, and you take great comfort in that fact.

She's not as good with being traditionally comforting, since it's a little out of her element.

Not that she doesn't try of course, she really cares about you, and she wants that to come across.

(I would think she would panic a little and ask Manitoba and Mike for help from the inner world).

But she would absolutely stay with you, coaching you through breathing exercises, talking to try and distract you.

Eventually if you let her know what you need (be it space, a distracting, physical comfort, quiet, dark) you name it, she will get it for you.

She's much better at caring for you after the panic attack honestly, when you feel really tired and put out, disoriented and just overwhelmed.

"Svetlana's here now to melt all your worries away," she smiled at you once.

She'll almost always bring you home, or take you to a secluded room, and just hangout with you. She'll turn all the lights off and sit in silence with you so you can have basically zero sensory input for a little while.

She'll absolutely stay with you until you feel yourself again.

Mal

Okay things with Mal are a little tricky.

He's for sure a former prosecutor and after a bit of system healing, definitely prosecutor turned protector.

Don't get me wrong though, he can still be a little nasty and snarky sometimes, but he's working on getting better.

Which is why he feels sort of out of his element when he's with you when you're having a panic attack.

He's not good at being comforting, and he barely knows what to do when he has a panic attack, so the first time it happens he completely freezes up.

He might even let someone else front to help you out instead of him.

After a while he gets better at keeping up with your triggers, and while he remains pretty awful at being comforting, he's good at grounding you.

He's glad sometimes that being there is enough sometimes, he doesn't know what he'd do if it wasn't.

"Sorry I can't do more..." he said one day.

You smile at him "You being here is enough sometimes."

Scott

Scott is also somewhat of a wreck I would imagine.

Growing up fairly isolated on a farm he's understandably really rough with being intune with people's emotions, he's not really all that good at reading you. Or anyone for that matter.

The first few times, he's shocked everytime.

What could be making you feel like this? He had no idea.

He would definitely need a list of all of your triggers, you have to tell him what helps you and what doesn't outright. Scott doesn't really like playing guessing games, especially when it comes to your safety and comfort.

Clear communication becomes pretty important for the two of you in all honesty, and the two of you work at it all the time.

Eventually he gets better at serving you during panic attacks, or meltdowns, he knows what to do after a little while.

Again I would think he's really good at protecting, so I think he's super good at keeping people away when he sees you're overstimulated.

"Don't touch them!" he huffed when someone was trying to tap you to get your attention.

Overall, he's really really trying for you, and knowing that is comfort enough.

Alejandro

It's no secret that Alejandro is very intune with people, just one of his many skills.

So he can tell right away from his very first meeting you, any loud noises, bright lights, things like that just don't mix well with you.

He steers clear of them when around you, always guiding you more towards quieter, much calmer and secluded dates.

When driving he turns the music down, and makes sure that all audio input looks like its helping you and not harming you.

Plus I feel like (and this is totally me projecting btw) he would carry around stim toys for you to distract yourself with, and headphones for when things are a lot.

But again, sometimes things just happen, and try as he might to protect you, it's not always possible.

He can always tell when things are getting to be a lot for you, he's good at reading everyone but you in specific.

He's really good at covering for you, if someone is asking where you are, or needs/wants to talk to you when you need to be alone he'll keep them away from you.

He'll spend as much time as you need helping you.

"Are you feeling better mi amor?" He would ask.

"Almost-" you said, voice a little course and shaky "-sorry," you said softly.

"Don't apologize, I don't mind at all."

Alejandro can be really nurturing when he wants to be.

He might deny it, deny it to the ends of the earth but he's very good at taking care of you.

[molotovgirl45]

Hiii! I have a TPN request for Emma and Ray (seperately).

Them x reader who is bubbly, childish, energetic, and kind gets shipped out and the next time they see them (reader was with Norman after they got shipped out), they were more reserved, soft-spoken, and mature.

Tysm and have a great day! P.S. Stay hydrated.

This genuinely sounds like something I would read, lol. I hope you enjoy, even though this isn't a total proof read. Just how i remembered. I did mainly just Ray, and im planning on making another version with Emma.This will be based off the manga, but I can make an anime version too. Here you go!

Tw: Violence, slight trauma, use of Y/n, slight angst at end.

Introduction Ray+Emma

After you got shipped out, you went to Lambda with Norman. That was definitely an eye opening moment for you, seeing all of the test subjects as you walked through the halls. You watched as they screamed, or tried to resist, but it was all futile. You watched as they morphed into horrific creatures, their wails echoing throughout the lab. That one moment, the energetic Y/n that everyone knew and loved faded. Throughout the months you spent alone in a small white box, your mind began to shape itself to your new environment. You never really knew what it was like to be injected with unknown treatments, or to be held down so they could test on you. That Era of your life left a mental scar, one that could probably never be healed.

Ray: Seeing you again.

"Long time, no see."

You smile softly at Emma and Ray as Norman stood by your side. Ray's facial expression went from stoic instantly it shock. Was this really you?

"... Y/n?"

Before you knew it, you felt something collide with you a little harshly. He had sprinted towards you, hugging you tight as if he would lose you again if he let you go for even a second. For the first time, Norman, Emma and you saw him cry. He was crying into your shoulder. That was... Unexpected. Half of you thought that he would act like he didn't care. You hug him back. Eventually, he spoke.

"Don't leave us like that again, Idiot."

You chuckled slightly.

"I missed you too, Ray."

Ray: Noticing your personality change

Back at the farm, you constantly would bug Ray, or try and play games with him. So when he asked you if you wanted to play a board game with him, and you didn't light up with that cute face you made when you were excited, he was confused.

"Hey, dumbass, do you want to play monopoly with Norman, Emma and me?"

You glanced up from the papers you were writing. You smile softly.

"Oh, I'm good, thanks."

... He blinked. Were they being serious?

"... What?"

You don't glance up this time, continuing to write some boring papers.

"I said I'm good, thank you, though."

Something was wrong. You *never* declined the opportunity to play a board game. Were they sad? Did he do something wrong that upset them? He frowned hard. Maybe they are just tired. He leaves, to go back to where Norman and Emma were.

A couple days after that, he walks by to see you... Reading? No, clearly something is wrong. You used to HATE books. You would only ever read them if Ray read them to you. He approached you, frowning again.

"What's wrong?"

Huh? You look up, a bit confused.

"What do you mean? Nothing's wrong."

"Did we upset you?"

You get even more confused.

"No..?"

He takes the book from your hands, seeing what it even is that you're reading. ... Pride and Prejudice? Yeah, something is definitely wrong.

"I'm sorry you feel neglected enough to read this."

Your confused expression increases in strength.

"Ray, nothing is wrong. What are you even talking abou-"

"-Y/n, you don't read. You've never read before, unless I was reading it to you. And last week you said you didn't want to play monopoly. Clearly something is wrong. Have you been getting enough sleep?? Sleeplessness affects your energy and mood. Are you depressed or something? You know you can always talk to-"

"Ray!"

You yell, after a couple times he finally seemed to stop talking. You sigh, standing up from your seat.

"Ray, I'm fine. Truly. I just..."

You rub your temples.

"I just matured. Back at the farm, we were together. We all helped each other out, and that gave us all hope. But when you're alone, in an environment like the Lambda, you just... Change. I can't help the fact that I had to mature before I was supposed to. But I'm telling you, I'm fine."

He stares at you for a while, before nodding in understanding. He gives you your book back.

"Sorry for bothering you, then."

He leaves, before you could stop him. You sigh, looking down at your book. You really had changed.

[zimthandmade]

Hello,

I am an art student (art on instagram link in my account, I am too lazy to post on two different platforms), and I love your art style and creativity, you are incredible ✨

I am at that point in my studies where I am getting decent at at least some of the techniques, but struggle using them to give life to my own ideas.

Do you have any advice on character design and environment study? I admire how you manage to give so much personality to your characters just with body language, it’s amazing, I have lots of trouble just managing to make mine look like themselves in two different sketches. Every time I feel like I got it right I lose it the moment after :(.

Where do I start when I want to study for a project, and how do you organise your work?

Thank you for reading, I hope this ask finds you well ❤️

Hi there!! Thanks for reaching out!! <3

Yeah character consistency can be tricky! My go-to strategy for character design is to break them down into their most basic idea. Can be a colour, a shape, a line. Look at this concept art from Inside Out:

The more complex you go, the more tricky, complicated and hard to get right in different drawings will be. That's not a bad thing but you should always keep the very core idea of a character in mind when designing and drawing. If I may add some of my own things in here:

I settled for a very angular Mello and in contrast a rather round Matt. In canon, they're both pretty round, so I thought I'd break that up for a more interesting duo dynamic. For me it's also helpful to think of your character as a map with set distances and points of interest. Take Mellos focal points like the beak-y pointy nose and his blocky hair and the rest doesn't matter that much anymore if you only get those features right. I don't know, I'm super bad at explaining, there's a reason why I'm not a teacher :'D

Maybe you could try to draw your character as tiny or as quickly as you can, that also works well for me. Because you absolutely can't get lost in details and have to break them down to what really matters.

When I see complex characters with tons of tattoos and complex scars or wild hairstyles and details that just absolutely don't matter to the overall design, I always think of the poor poor animators that would have to animate that character if they were part of a TV show haha

As for environment study?? Bruh, I'm as lost as you.

Where to start on a project? Anywhere, as long as you start. Sitting in front of a blank paper is the worst thing. Drawing bad is better than not drawing at all. Look at other art, maybe even copy some, trace some, anything that helps you get into the flow.

Organising things is a supreme dicipline. I would say I give my best to stay organised but fail miserably. But I had people tell me I'm insanely organised, so... No idea. Taking the whole Death Note AU thing as one big project, I try to keep things seperated by characters, eras, themes or places, depending on what makes sense and throw all the files in the respective folders but it's getting more cluttered by the minute... What helps me if making overviews, like lineups of characters or something like this:

Colour chart where I can just pick the colours and not rummage through my files to find a fitting reference for different characters.

Oof that turned longer than I wanted, I hope you can at least find some helpful information out of my rambling :'D

[oscconfessions]

i dont get people's obsession with book making up with/forgiving people from her past because is her whole arc in tpot not about moving on from the past and finding new friends. idk people really want her and ice cube or match or pencil or taco or you get the point to make up and i don't see the point. let her have new friends. let her move on. not everything has to end with everybody being happy and silly together. they can be on bad terms/not talking/literally not friends. it's ok guys. I Really Just Want Them To Move On From Each Other and for people to stop forcing her back into toxic environments from her past

i think book confronting her past is important and i personally feel that she's been avoiding it (her lack of objection towards ice cube leaving her in tpot 1 and her dreading having to deal with it in tpot 10) so obviously it shouldn't just be swept under the rug but i Do Not feel like book owes match or pencil (especially pencil because match has been shown to at least be trying to improve. iirc i don tremember like anytihn gfrom bfb LOL) forgiveness. She shouldn't have to be forced to suck up and go back with people who hurt her. i genuinely think it's best that they go their seperate ways.

^ i also feel like the whole "they should just go their seperate ways" thing applies to icebook. their relationship in bfb was mutually toxic and both of them hurt the other with a lack of proper communication and whatnot. soooooo many people want ice cube and book to make up and be friends again it tpot but they're Not Good For Each Other!!! also book hasn't proven that she's grown enough from her time in bfb to even handle being around ice cube again without repeating her same mistakes towards her. ice cube has no reason to not dislike her right now because she's just acting the same as she did in bfb towards her in tpot 12. if book wants to have a chance at being with ice cube again she needs to realize /what/ she did wrong; book and ice cube's boundaries were always a mess and a big problem in their relationship was that constant pushing of boundaries by book, something that she saw no issue with because ice cube never spoke up about it until it got to an extreme point.

i fear if book and ice cube become friends again in tpot they'll A. just repeat their same mistakes or B. have all of those mistakes conveniently disappear so book faces no consequences for her mistakes in bfb which is like Not Good

i get wanting your fav friendships to interact again but *insert nerd emoji here* it makes no sense for her character and the arc they're trying to give her this season acshually

book needs to accept that her past doesn't define her so she can move on from that and move on from her past friendships. she needs to accept that those people are gone for a reason instead of chasing after them. She Needs To Actually Learn A Lesson And Change, Tpot Writers

vaguely related but dont get me wrong i love icebook (peep the blog lol) but maaaaaaaaaan i don't like seeing it portrayed all fluffy and happy and wholesome. you do you but GAFHGFDGFDKG there's so much interesting stuff about the flsaws in their relationship and just how disgustingly attached book is to ice cube and how ice cube allows this to happen until it's too much for her to handle and how book focuses so much more on ice cube than herself and they're so awfully codepdendent and they suck at communication and boundaries and they were honestly always doomed to fail They Won't Work Out Together they're tied by fate and can't live without each other even if it's hurting them and AND AND AND make their relationship uglier it won't hurt to have ship content that's not 100% happy fluffy all the time no flaws ever fix-it fic material (obligatory you do you i don't care that much this is my opinion you are allowed to do whatever you want)

.

[darkbluekies]

Childhood, environment and other factors ESPECIALLY childhood can affect a person even if they are still adults, I've noticed something about people who are diagnosed with BPD have something in common with their childhood, speaking from experience, one factor is abandonment. People who claims to obsessive people or a yandere, would likely have had a childhood or an environment where they were abandoned, not given affection, were not raised to what healthy love is or was exposed to yanderes in such a young age and this is also the same for people who craves these obsessive people too. Seriously though, you're really right about being careful or being wary around people specifically people you don't know, who knows how deranged they are 😭

And yes that is right! Depending on your mental state, it is better to know when to differentiate between reality or fiction but if your mental state is in a poor condition then it is more recommended not to read dark content as you may be inclined to yearn for such things like obsessed people. It will bring you into danger even if it feels good, I speak from experience having someone obsessed with my partner back then and them constantly targeting me 😭 shit year/nav

And yes omfg!! It's so so SO very important to take care of yourself after consuming or making dark content, I actually get distressed sometimes with my course because psychology opens your perspective a lot and it really makes you wonder why people are like that, of course not justifying their behavior if they've done something wrong also minors should also not consume dark content, they are young and learning. these things could hinder a healthy development in the brain. It's not only the fact it's illegal for them to read NSFW/DARK content but it's also to make sure they don't get fucked in the head, I've read things in my teens I should have not and it greatly affected my development, I've went to psychotherapy and I am doing well but for those minors, who fake their age in their bios, please know what you're getting yourself into.

—🌊

I can relate so much to the first paragraph ... or not me PERSONALLY ... but my brother. My eldest brother, 14 years older than me. He is exactly what you described. He has been diagnosed with schizophrenia (?) and we suspect a few other things as well. I know what he went through when he was a child (thanks to his mother, not my mother, we have different mothers) and breaks my heart to know how he became like he did. I just wish he would have had a different childhood, you know? And see if he would be different?

But i CAN personally relate to the later parts. I was also browsing things you shouldn't read at that age when I was a kid and while i think I have been good at keeping fiction and reality seperate, it has made me terrified of people, because of every true crime thing i watched when i was like 12. I am paranoid thanks to that. For fuck sake, when I was 12, I wrote a whole story about 2 sisters getting kidnapped and the older sister going insane and killing people when they were free? Inspired by a real case about shasta groene and the movie Orphan. AT 12. It's insane how a 12 year old could write something like that.

So minors, please take this post to heart and leave. I have stated before that i'm not comfortable having you here, but I know that when I was a kid i didn't care about those stuff and did what I wanted anyways, but I am warning you. If you continue to read and interact, that is entirely your fault, I will not take respnsibility.

I study communication so I'm not sure what type of things you're exposed to in psycology, but i can imagine that it isn't very pleasent. Having someone being obsessed with your partner and you it seems sounds so fucking scary omg, i hope that it is better now :/<3

[nightmare-chaser]

Between the final fantasy house and the bitofearth events, it strikes me that the internet and fandom culture in general has unlocked a new variety of abuse and cult

Both of these stories involve a person claiming to be a character from a piece of media, either through past lives or alternate universe or whatever other magical means, and then using that to gather a small household of people forced into a highly abusive environment, involving waking them up in the middle of the night (thereby constantly depriving them of sleep), sending them on some sort of "quests", doing some form of rituals (which ranged from just kinda strange to actively harmful) to make the victims "reconnect" or better "connect" with some fictional character they were assigned/told they were, making them pay for the lifestyle (often resulting in extreme poverty or horrible living conditions), isolating them from friends and family, etc.

A lot of this is just cult tactics, like genuine brainwashing, but the fact that the specific way these two apparently seperate abusers justified and dressed up the tactics is so similar, i cant help but notice it, like individually the narrative they each tell is bizarre and insane, but put side by side, the incredible amount of shared points feels more sinister than crazy

(Idk how actual cults justify their rhetoric, what story they tell, but I'd be interested to see if it also follows this pattern of "this person is special in an insane and magical way, and so are you, and they can show you proof of your magical specialness if you do what they tell you")

I'm a very firm believer that fandom can be a very good thing, its just shared interests yknow?, but apparently its also opened up a whole new way people can get dragged into cults and that feels important to acknowledge

[aviad1b]

Broken language rant below the cut, I have no idea where this is going but it's gonna go somewhere

Edit: This turned out very, VERY long.

"If you like Hebrew so much, then why are almost all of your posts in English?"

I ask myself the same a lot. It does feel like I throw the "Hebrew is the most beautiful language ever" card a lot without actually, yk, showing it? Standing by my words? Ironically enough I can't figure out what the right English term would be here

I joined tumblr a couple of months ago, with the sole purpose of escapism. Life was... difficult. I needed a way of escaping reality. Before that, I was in several Hebrew-speaking spaces, but as time went on, I just kinda didn't want to stay there?

And it's really hard to explain, even to myself. It's like I made a seperation between my day-to-day Hebrew and this picture of the language itself in my head (which is pretty easy in Hebrew because in day-to-day people very much do not use the language to its whole potential).

I still held the view of Hebrew as the Most Beautiful Language Ever ™, but at the same time, it reminded me of reality. Because it's the language that I speak every day. It reminded me of trauma. It reminded me of endless screams and of doors that have to remain shut. It reminded me of how impossible life was looking. And English, being the Language Of the Internet ™, distracted me from that. It was almost as if I forgot that English is a real language, with real people who speak it and that includes many people who would rather have me dead than alive. I'm saying "almost" but I think it's safe to say that's percisely what it was.

Add to that the fact that Hebrew handles gender absolutely terribly. Absolutely terribly. There's little to no room at all for gender-neutral terms. And I really needed a way to refer to myself in gender-neutral terms at the time. Or at least a non-masc way which when I say it like that does exist in Hebrew but

I... don't think I'm ready to explain that one properly, even to myself. Tho in a sense I really do want to, but I also really don't. The way I described it here feels very underwhelming and slightly incoherent but I'm afraid that's the best I can do. Bottom line is, I even started thinking in English because of that.

This all blew up in my face, obviously. And I was so frustrated with myself for that. I took it hard. I had two little personal projects that I wrote in English. I abandoned them. Physically erased one of them from paper, page by page. I wanted to stop consuming any type of media in English at all.

So in that case, why do I still post mostly in English? I don't know. I don't post for anyone else I do it for myself. To try and make sense of things. Tumblr exposed me to a lot of diaspora Jews. Who have this different perspective to a lot of things. It's like a sense of optimism I used to see here in Israel when I was a kid, which slowly faded away as time went on. Maybe that's why I keep using English?

I really don't know.

Eli'ezer Ben-Yehuda made himself think in Hebrew for the aim of renewing the language. Meanwhile I still catch myself thinking in English from time to time, despite natively speaking Hebrew and never living in any English-speaking environment, and despite Hebrew being the most beautiful language ever made. I hate myself for it. Every. single. day.

I suppose that at the end of the day, I'm a big fan of Hebrew only as long as I don't have to use it to refer to myself.

[eashgirl]

What do you think of Toji Fushiguro?

I think he's a bad person but a pretty tragic charecter

(Spoilers below)

I don't really believe Toji is a complete villain more of a charecter who just doesn't really care much about himself and/or others, he got into the job of being a sorcerer killing not really because he enjoyed killing sorcerers but because he wants money to get by his life I don't think the Zenin give him their allowance after he left so...

While I'm saying this I'm in no means trying to justify the horrible things he's done, he killed an innocent girl, her caretaker,pretty much slashing Geto and nearly killed Gojo.

Furthermore, His own desire for self affirmation was what ultimately ended his life he knew something was offput the minute he saw Gojo infront of the star religious group but his ego couldn't allow him to leave while he still could and he still held on to the belief that he could kill Gojo the battle ending with the latter doing the opposite.

But again you can be a horrible person but a good charecter at the same time, in my opinion he was just really depressed because of the years of mistreatment he endured at the hands of his clan,that could also be the reason why he's so apathetic in his killing sprees, he's been abused so much to the point he struggled with self esteem and depression years after leaving the clan, he doesn't have any problem with killing because he just doesn't care about people that much, he's become more or less detached from the world, his mental state started to get better after meeting Megumi's mother but after she died he just gradually slipped back into his old habits.

But it is shown that he does care about Megumi because a part of the reason why he sold him to the clan was because he knew he would never be able to give Megumi the life he deserved and distanced himself from him to the point where he forgot about him(ok I'm not gonna justify that part either he really did forget his own son),but I think the reason he did that was because he was called the Zenin failure his entire life, and with Megumi's technique there was a chance he could've been the most powerful sorcerer within the clan hence he believed this was the right choice for Megumi's future, but ultimately it was for the best Megumi did not end up with the Zenin because we all know just how messed up that family is.

There's also the fact I do believe Toji does indeed care and love his son deeply but he's still a pretty terrible dad, you can be both things at once.

He was proud of Megumi's decision to go by the surname of Fushiguro instead of Zenin made him proud because it meant he was growing his own identity seperate from the clan they were from. And I think he was thankful to Gojo too he never did ask Gojo to take Megumi under his wing he just said he was fine with whatever he chose to do, but Gojo just went up and raised that kid. He's a terrible person who did terrible things but those actions were what ultimately led Megumi to meet Gojo hence turning his life around for fhe better because no matter what if he ended up with the Zenin he would've been messed up from the abusive environment.

The reason why I think Toji never told Megumi who he was after the latter told him his name was because I think Toji knew that seeing the person Megumi had become there just wasn't any room for him in his life anymore, so instead of just suddenly dropping the bomb of "hey I'm your long lost father" he chose to just off himself before he was forced to hurt his son, and Megumi never did end up figuring out he was because even later on many people reference him in the story infront of Megumi but they always call him Toji Zenin, not Toji Fushiguro so Megumi doesn't know as he was too young to remember his dad's face and Toji wasn't really around all the time either.

So to conclude, he's an intriguing and complex charecter who is also a pretty bad person

[pixelchills]

Hihi hello, sorry for the tumblr ❤ thing in your posts. I just wanted to say that I really want to start reading ANSSW and MDD but I feel like it has a lot of angst which I couldn't handle in a big amount and wanted to ask if is it safe for my heart to read them?

Sorry again I'm rolling on the floor ur art is so pretty 😭

Awh it's okay!

Both ANSSW and MDD are very angsty, but if you can read them without feeling too hurt I cannot really tell, because I don't know you personally.

If you are like me, ok reading angst which mostly comes from outside the characters personal effects, meaning that the angst is caused mostly by the environment and other characters not close to them, then that's exactly what the angst in my stories is about.

There is no angst that has to do with cheating or toxic relationships between the main characters (in MDD, Solar and Sun have a slightly toxic relationship but it's necessary for other things for the future). But for example Sun and Moon will never have angst related to their feelings towards each other (except one little jelly-Sun moment before they get together in the Prequel.)

The angst in my fics is mostly from fear of being hurt (physically), unfair treatment of the Animutant species, and the fear of loved ones getting hurt. A lot of it is also just simply from the main character's (Sunrise) way of overthink and get anxious about everything.

But! My stories come with tons of fluff - every angst will be kissed better with fluff.

I balance my work by making people cry from the angst and then making them cry from the sweet sweet fluff lol.

If you decide to give my fics a try, start with the Prequel. The third (or fourth? I forgot myself lol) chapter is quite harsh, but if you can make past it, you'll get a reward of sweet Sun and Moon fluff following :3

But! If you wanna start with something that has definitely NO ANGST other than Sunrise -typical anxiety, read my oneshot "Bloodmoon". It's set between the Prequel and the main story of ANSSW, but you can read it seperately just to get an idea of how I write the characters.

Bloodmoon is about Moondrop starting his periods for the first time and Sun ia being the best comforting boyfriend ever. Just two confused mutants trying to figure out how to survive the first, weirdly caused case of Animutant's hormonal shift...

[coquettedragoon]

what do you think is the appeal of ABDL etc. as a fetish?

ig i’ll talk about the roleplay side of it first, as in the emotions before anything to do with sex. i think it’s the appeal of allowing yourself to be vulnerable, that it’s okay to be weak and cry and let out emotions, and being cared for and loved unconditionally, and giving up having control over yourself or having to look after yourself to allow someone else to do it for you. vice versa, for the caregiver it’s about being able to give someone that outlet, and feeling like… being a special and trusted person, being able to look after someone you love. it’s nice to feel truly useful and able to comfort someone at their core. i think… these are all very straightforward human emotions, we all want to care for others and be cared for, but it’s a roleplay that makes it simple and straightforward and leaves less room for misunderstanding or unclear intent. this appeals to a lot of people for a lot of reasons, i don’t think trauma generates fetish exactly, but there’s a good reason a lot of people into that roleplay have a lot of trauma and find the simplicity of it reassuring or easier to process.

as for being little and caregiver, i think this is just one sort of ‘script’ for a roleplay of giving and receiving care and allowing vulnerability that can be anything. there’s kinds of pet play that are very similar, or medical play, or whatever. one is cared for and one does the caring. in bells case she is a little but shes an animal too

if that’s AB then i have to talk about DL, which can be as simple as people just liking it because of a thing for watersports or scat (separated or both), or a thing for humiliation, or even just as a kind of garment fetish, and for some can be entirely seperate from the roleplay stuff mentioned before. there’s also a perspective of like… feeling scared of losing control over your body, and diapers feel safe and comforting. this is xios feeling. not all littles like diapers and not all diaper fetishists are littles, etc. for how it fits into that roleplay, it’s the sense of giving up your own control and letting someone else take control of it, reducing yourself to a more helpless state.

as for sex, again this is per person, but my interpretation is like… abdl roleplay as part of sex is a way of being able to confront an adult desire in a simplified and safe environment of care and reassurance as i described earlier, and i think there’s a lot of reasons people can need that or prefer that

lot of words but it is relevant to coquette aha… xio and bell are littles and i think it’s not hard to tell reading them why this kind of roleplay would appeal to them or comfort them. honey too but more lighter, you can see already how her and bell interact there’s a lot of acts of care between them in both directions

[generouskittentidalwave]

So we have Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, and Pluto. These are the code names for the humans that make up the animal department. However what I find really intresting is that there is no Uranus. Yes get your laughs out as I know the name sounds funny, but joking aside I really wonder why there is only one person missing out of the group.

Now it was stated before that Pluto use to work in the plant department before moving to the animal department, which makes me wonder if Uranus, if they exist, are also in another department. It is clear there are more departments other than the animal, bug, plants, and environments one. The rock department has been mentioned before but we yet have gotten any information about it. Ueda seemed like she was going to explain others to Shimoda before she abruptly cut off.

Uranus being in another department makes sense as it would be following a theme the author seems to be setting up. Remember the planet Pluto was demoted from being called a planet and therefore was seperated from the others, and Pluto also was seperated for a while when working in the plant department. Uranus as a planet is known for also standing out, with it being flipped on it's side. This makes me wonder if Uranus also felt like they didn't belong, or maybe there was a falling out, and they decided to move departments.

Seeing how the situation in the manga is going right now, they may introduce another department in order to help solve the problem they are currently dealing with. Maybe Uranus will make their appearance then. That's just my guess on it though.

I love this series with all my heart! And have plenty more thoughts, ideas, theories and predictions to share! But I'll do more tomorrow as I really need some shut eye. I hope you all are feeling well and I'll see you later! ^^