#how else am i gonna keep myself hooked

[havockingboo]

I caved in at 3 am to make another damn ocs for this show

[mediumgayitalian]

prev

———

She brushes another kiss to his hidden face and settles against the car door, holding him. She thinks for a moment and decides on something old, a tune she heard on the radio once upon a time and never heard again; she’s warped it, now, no doubt about it, humming it from memory so long it’s changed to whatever she has made it. But Will recognises it from years of lullabies, picking up on the swooping baritones and mumbling the words into her shoulder.

“You know, that Han Solo shrine up in your room makes a lot more sense, now that I think about it.”

The melody dies in his throat.

“Mama.”

“I’m just saying.” She bites back a smirk, swatting away his smacking hands. “There was a point in time I thought it was admiration, you know, but you have a lot of posters of that open vest —”

“Mama!”

She acquiesces, this time, never having seen his poor face so scarlet, trying and failing to keep her laughter to herself. The tear tracks have long since dried and his breathing is steady, now, gangly limbs tucked into her ribs and hanging off the bend of her thigh. Flopped all over her like he used to to when he was young and she was still touring, when the world was too loud and too bright and too mean and she hid him from the sun. Her hands in his hair are to touch instead of soothe.

“Who’s the boy?”

“No.”

“C’mon, babydoll.” She pokes at his ribs, grinning widely when he rolls his eyes to hide his smile. “Tell me.”

“It’s nobody, Ma, gods.”

“Yeah, right. Not like you were comparing having a crush to killing someone in cold blood twenty minutes ago. Clearly it’s somebody.”

He, very pointedly, doesn’t answer.

Unfortunately, he forgets that he gets his stubborn from her.

“Hm. Can’t be anyone I haven’t heard of in a few weeks, or else it wouldn’t be bothering you. What names have you mentioned?”

He looks at her in horror. “You wouldn’t.”

Absolutely, she would. Her smile widens.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess it ain’t Chiron, ‘cause then I’d have questions —”

“Oh my gods! Stop!”

“— an’ I doubt it’s that security fellow, with the eyes, although if it is no judgement —”

“I’m throwing myself out of this car! Right now! I’m gonna lay on the road ‘til someone hits me!”

“— Lord, you don’t mention many names. You’re a recluse, baby. You gotta make more than two friends.”

She stills. Will, perhaps guessing where she is going, makes a noise of deep, personal agony.

“Oh my stars, is it Cecil?”

“Ew, Ma!”

He strains against her hold but she tightens, hooking her elbow around his shoulders and flexing her other hand, pretending to examine her nails.

“It is, isn’t it? I mean, he is a very handsome young man. And he has a good heart, too, despite the — how to put it — distaste for the law —”

“I just threw up in my mouth! Right now! Stop it!”

“I should probably stop letting him stay in your room when he stays over, huh, that one’s on me —”

He wrenches himself away from her, finally, clambering over the seats and gagging like the mere idea makes him nauseous.

“Ew! Ew! I do not have a thing for Cecil, oh my gods, I might as well marry my cousin! Augh! I’m gonna throw up for real! Why would you even say that, oh my —”

“Alright, alright!” she laughs, kicking his rapidly repeating shoulder. “Holy Jesus, you are dramatic. I should call up camp and tell him you’re out here retchin’ at the mere thought.”

“Good,” Will says darkly, voice muffled from how deeply his head is buried in his hands, “make sure to also tell him he is a weasel.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And that I am going to deface his vintage Hot Wheels collection.”

“Y’all have a strange friendship.”

“He’s not my friend, I am stuck with him via circumstance and because he refuses to leave me alone.”

She holds up her hands in surrender, refraining from pointing out the friendship bracelet he is currently wearing with a CM on it and that has not left his wrist in four years.

“Alright, alright. Not Cecil.”

He scoffs in agreement, ignoring her rolled eyes.

She wracks her brain for other boys he’s brought up in their phone calls, aside from people in passing. Mostly he mentions patients, really, answering her endless inquiries — it will never stop astounding her that he baby can practically sew heads back on bodies; she tells people he’s in med school and preens at their wide, impressed eyes — but there are other people he mentions, in between that and the pranks he’s frequently pulling with his friends.

“There was that boy you were so excited to keep around. Nick?”

“His name is Nico,” he corrects, and then immediately goes scarlet. “I — I mean, I have a friend, named Nico, not that —”

Her grin gets sharp as nails.

“He is — unwell! He’s travelled a lot, he needs monitoring so I am — monitoring him, you know, out of concern for his safety —”

“Nico and Wi-ill, sitting in a tree —”

“Oh my gods are you five —”

“You are steaming! I can actually feel the heat pouring off of you right now! You love him, you want to kiss him, you —”

“I am never telling you anything again in my entire life!” he hollers. “Never! Next time I think I should tell you something I’m just gonna — swallow glass!”

She snickers. “Drama queen.”

He sticks out his tongue as she situates herself back in her own seat, turning the keys in the engine. His puts his dirty converse on the dash despite her grouching, reaching over to fight her for control of the radio, flapping his hand excitedly when she lets him win and something bright and overdone starts playing. His bandage stays where it is, tied loosely around his wrist.

“I’m glad you told me, you know.”

He smiles, small and genuine, leaning into the palm she cups around his cheek. The dimple in the centre of his right cheek is back, the scrunch of his freckled nose. She presses a lingering kiss smack dab in the centre of his forehead and he leans into it, trusting.

“I know.”

[serenefify]

Synopsis: Years had passed since you successfully nullified all contracts and left Hell behind. Now, living a decent of a normal life once more, you found yourself returning to your cozy abode after another long day of work.

{{What in 'hell' is bad?}} Pair: Kings/You

{{Potential}} Trigger Warning: Religious/Biblical reference, Vague mention of obsession/possessiveness, OOC

🎗️Author's note: Sorry for the lack of post lately.

Entering your room, you carelessly tossed your belongings to the side before slumping down onto your bed. With a heavy sigh, you felt an exhaustion wash over you as your eyelids growing heavy with fatigue. Just as you were about to succumb to sleep, a strange scent tickled your nostrils, jolting you awake.

Your gaze landed on a card—no, a letter, sitting on your table but, who could it be from?

Would you dare to read it?

Satan:

A crimson card, adorned with a delicate white ribbon wrapped around it, secured by small horn-shaped stickers attached to the front. It wasn't overly extravagant, yet it certainly wasn't ordinary either; it sit somewhere in between. Nestled beside the card was a photo.

Hey [[Name]],

So, I figured I'd drop you a letter. Not sure what I'm gonna ramble about, but hey, why not, right?

Anyway, let's cut the crap. Since your bailed on Hell, things have been kinda messy around here. Not like "oh no, angels are attacking us again" messy, but more like... weird, you know?

I swung by Avisos the other day, and on the surface, everything seemed chill. People still living it up, having a blast. But there's this underlying gloominess, you know? Like something's off. Haven't heard anything from their kings, either. Same deal with Tartaros. Usually, those devils are all about flaunting their stuff, strutting around Gehenna like they own the place. But lately, they've been keeping to themselves, especially Mammon. That bastard practically isolated himself these days.

And speaking of isolation, that wet blanket is even more distant than usual. Him and his people are getting pretty hostile towards outsiders. Rumor has it they've even closed off their gate to visitors. Paradise Lost is living up to its name, with Lucifer being more of a hardass than ever. Heard him muttering under his breath a lot, the past meeting with him..

Anyway, not much else to report. I don't exactly have a habit of letter-writing, y'know?

So, how's life treating you up there on Earth? I know your time in Hell wasn't exactly a walk in the park, but I hope you're finding something to kill your time. If not with us, then at least enjoy the grub and swag they're hooking you up with.

Alright, that's all I got. Hope you haven't chucked this letter in the trash yet.

Catch you later,

Satan

Mammon:

A golden card, lavishly adorned with shimmering ornaments adorning its edges. Crafted from crisp, molten gold-hued paper. A delicate ribbon, flush with golden dust, cascades from its side, leaving a trail of particles with each brush against your skin. Nestled beside the card lies an open box of jewels.

My Esteemed Master,

Since your departure from Hell, I have found myself rather... what is the word I am searching for? Ah, yes, lonely. These past days, or perhaps decades. It almost felt like mere moments since you left for the human world.

I pen this letter because I find myself truly missing your presence, Master. Though you made your intentions clear from the start, and I fully understood them, your absence has left a void within me. Is the wealth not sufficient? Does the structure of my domain not meet your expectations? Or perhaps I have failed to fully satisfy you? At times, a thought plagued at the back of my mind—to carve your name into my flesh, to signify that I'm truly yours.

But- Forgive me for indulging in such thoughts, Master. I fear I may have become too forward. I simply cannot help but express the depth of my longing for you.

The time you spent here in Tartaros, though brief, was among the most enjoyable moments of my existence. I must confess, I have never felt such attachment to another being. Not even Solomon grow such sentiments from me. There is something about you that captivates me unlike any other. I vividly recall your first arrival in Tartaros; it was then that I knew you were a being worthy of becoming the master of the Monarch of Tartaros.

My apologies for my ramblings, Master. I found myself yearning to write more, but I restrained myself, knowing your preference for brevity. Nevertheless, I implore you to consider my words and understand that you are sorely missed here in Tartaros.

Yours faithfully,

Mammon

[toppersjeep]

Running For The Hills- Charles Leclerc X Reader

masterlist

Summary: Inspired by run for the hills by Tate McRae. You and Charles work together you are a race engineer at Ferrari. You two kinda have a relationship of sorts but you know that it’s never gonna lead to anything more.

______

(This is a random post for you all because we hit 700 followers thank you so so much I love you all endlessly. It means more than you know. Thanks for reading my stories 🩷) - A/N

Your POV

||hotels late nights hands through my hair||

There I was in his hotel room again. Looking up at the ceiling wondering why I kept doing this. I tried to stop myself but I couldn’t help it. He was addicting in every single way. Like a good song on the radio. Or your favorite tv show. Charles Leclerc was addicting.

“Are you still awake” Charles asked softly rolling over to look at me. “Just can’t sleep” I said as he pulled me closer. “Come here” Charles said. “I thought you were asleep” I said. “I sleep better next to you now” Charles said I snuggled up to his chest. “Do you” I said he kissed my forehead.

||cause I know deep down that’s it never gonna be us||

“Yes you know I do” Charles said. We both finally fell asleep. We knew what this was just friends and coworkers with benefits. Despite me wanting more but never saying so. I knew how this would end and so would he.

At work we acted like nothing happened. Like I didn’t wake up next to him this morning. Like his hands aren’t all over me the night before. Or how my heels were on the edge of his bed last night. We pretended. Something we were both good at. Especially him.

“Y/N did you send the documents to Fred” Carlos asked. “Yes I did” I said. “Okay how about the statistics from free practice” Carlos said. “I have Charles I can get yours if you’d like” I said. “Yeah I just feel like my cars slower” Carlos said.

“Cause you were” Charles said walking over. “Yeah yeah mate I get it” Carlos said rolling his eyes. “Uhhh here” I said handing him a part. “Thank you Y/N” Carlos said walking away. “Did you need something Cha” I asked. “No.. I just wanted to see what you were up to” Charles said.

“Going over stuff from the previous race and reading over regulations” I said. “Anything I can help with” he said sitting beside me putting a hand on my back. “You’re more of a distraction to be honest” I said. “Oh” Charles said. “Am I now” Charles whispered in my ear.

“I.. don’t get you what happened to at work we are coworkers” I said softly. “Did I do something you seem off” Charles said. “Charles I don’t wanna play this game anymore” I said moving his hand. “I don’t get you” Charles said.

“I have work to do” I said. “Alright” Charles said getting up. “Here” I said giving him paperwork. “What’s that” Charles said. “Stuff for you to read over so” I said. “Alright” Charles said. “I’ll see you later” I said. “Are you sure you want to because” Charles said. “Yes” I said.

Later on…

This time I went to Charles apartment. Being that we were back in Monaco now. I knocked on the door. He opened it with a smile. And I walked into his place. Like I had a million times before. This time it felt different.

“Wanna tell me what’s bugging you love” Charles said. “I don’t wanna make you mad though” I said sitting on his couch. As he shut the door. “What’s wrong” Charles said sitting beside me. “This ..whole situation I can’t keep doing it” I said.

“Hooking up” Charles said. “Yeah I just.. we both know it will never lead anywhere” I said. He then stood up and turned away from me. “And why all the sudden are you saying this” Charles said. “Are you that bothered you can find someone else” I said.

“I don’t want someone else Y/N” Charles said. “And I don’t want to keep doing this anymore ,it’s going to lead to nothing” I said yelling. “Y/N I don’t care I want you nobody else” Charles said. “Stop saying things that you don’t mean” I said. I then got up. Attempting to leave.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him. “I mean every damn word” Charles said cupping my cheek. “Just listen to me please baby” Charles said as I looked into his green eyes. I nodded. “At first I thought the same thing it wouldn’t be anything” Charles said.

“But as we kept this going… I.. well I” Charles said still cupping my cheek. “I never wanted it to end.. I wanted you by my side” Charles said. “Charles” I said softly. “I want you by my side all the time” Charles said. “Not just to hook up either” he added.

“I want you to be mine always and nobody else’s” Charles said. “Because.. I’m madly in love with you Y/N and I can’t stop” Charles said I blushed. “I love you” I said he then kissed me. “.. So screw this whole friends with benefits thing and be my girlfriend” Charles said.

“As long as we still get the benefits” I said he laughed. “Oh that’s a definite my love” Charles said. “Then yes I’ll be your girlfriend” I said. “It also comes with extra benefits” Charles said with a wink. I smiled knowing he was officially mine.

____

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Reader - Fake Love Part 4/8

⚠️ Warning ⚠️

18+

Reader is a kindergarten teacher. Nothing more nothing less. But following an accident whistle vacation in Dubai she somehow makes her boyfriend believe that she does somthing else for a living, something that earns her way more money than she has. Her boyfriend, Ruben, is just happy to have found someone who understands him so well, someone who doesn't want him for his money since money isn't an issue for neither reader or himself. Or so thinks. Would finding out the truth ruin their newfound relationship? Readers thinks so, and does everything to keep up the lie, although it has some bad people from the middle east looking for her.

Enjoy!

"Taxi!"

You called for one outside of the airport in London. You were tired from the journey and longed for a hot shower back at your apartment.

"Taxi!" You shouted, quite desperate for one to pull up.

"Y/N, chill." Alicia said. "Our ride will be here in a minute."

"Our ride?" You frowned.

Alicia nodded, phone still pressed to her ear. "I'm consulting the Siddiq family right now, see if they can send us a...."

Alicia's eyes widened with terror as you lunged for her phone, forcing her to hang up.

"Whatta fuck Y/N!"

"Are you crazy?" You hissed

"Am I crazy, are you crazy Y/N? Give me back my phone for fuck sakes."

You held her phone behind your back, refusing to return it. "Alicia we are not doing this. We can not continue spending somone elses money. It has to end. Right now."

"Why? They owe us don't they?"

"No Alicia, they owe us nothing, especially not you." It was not her leg that grilled in the fire. "The Siddiq family has shown us enough kindness then we deserve, this will not go on any longer, agreed?"

She didn't agree. However, she could tell how serious you were about this. "Fine." She said, stretching out a hand, demanding her phone back.

"Who are you gonna call?"

"Well, it's not Ghostbusters, is it? I'm calling a taxi."

You handed her back the phone, a sly smile on your face.

The days passed quickly there on, like your time in Portugal never happened. The burn on your leg healed but roughly, the skin not as smooth on that part of your leg. The only times it bothered you was when you got out of the shower, standing naked in front of the bathroom mirror. However, no one was gonna see you naked, at least not for some time. Yes, you felt guilty for giving Ruben a fake number, but you held your ground when it came to not live off of some rich business man in Dubai. It was the only reason Ruben was interested in you in the first place, because he thought you were rich like him. But no more lies. Meeting Ruben was a lie and even though falling for him felt real it was built on a lie and no relationship could ever flourish from somthing like that, right?"

"Miss?"

"Miss?"

"Yes, Simon?"

You snapped out of your daydreams, peering over your desk to see one of your kindergarten students with a pen up their nose."

"It's stuck." He said.

You sighed, rising from behind your desk. "Let's go to the nurses office shall we?"

"Okay."

You had one of your colleagues come in and cover for you whilst you escorted Simon to the school nurse. Yes, your life was really back to it's glamorous self.

"Hey, Y/N? Need a lift?"

It was Byron, seen crossing the school parking lot to get to you. You were really not in the mood, still adjusting being back to work. All you wanted to do was go home and lay in your bath.

"Sure Byron, why not."

He was considered a friend, although you know he never really got over your brief hook up in university.

"The kids are glad to have you back."

"Oh, thanks Byron. That's nice of you to say."

He drove you home the long way, avoiding the highway that would only take you ten minutes to arrive.

"Not only the kids." He added. "I missed you too."

Your smile was stiff, but at least it was something.

"When Nina told me what happened to you in Dubai I got so worried that I had to take a day off just to calm myself down, not to worry the kids that their teacher wasn't coming back to work."

"That sweet of you Byron. But it wasn't a serious thrid degree burn, my skin heald pretty quickly." Your boss Nina made it seemed like you lost a limb or something. Mainly because Alicia's dramatic Tik Tok's had people assuming the worst. Even your parents called you in concern after your brothers came across one of Alicia's vlogs from the hospital in Dubai.

"Well, I'm just glad you're back."

"Thanks Byron."

He was a sweet guy, not relationship sweet, but a descent human being sweet. You appreciate how much he cared for you as a friend.

"I have no problems giving you a ride to and from work, I mean we're basically on the same schedule."

"Thanks Byron, but I don't think that will be necessary."

Alot of people had offered to help you out,  even your boss suggested you'd cut back on your hours a work, however, it wasn't necessary. You needed something to take your mind off things. With things you meat, your agonizing thoughts of what could have been between you and Ruben.

Arriving home, you grabbed yourself a light snack from the fridge whilst waiting for your hot tub to fill with water. Once it did you, stripped yourself of your clothes, slipping I to the scolding water, allowing the heat to relax your muscles. You did not stay relaxed for long though, seeing as there was an incoming facetime call from your phone. "What?" You grunted, since now was not the time to hear about the latest gossip at Alicia's workplace.

"Hey, gorgeous,"

You stiffened at the sound of his voice.

"Ruben?"

You were looking into the screen of your phone, in disbelief of who was staring back at you. It was Ruben, with his hair sprouting in every direction as he looked to lay back in a bed, one arm draped behind his neck. "Um...hi." You stuttered, not really sure how any of this was possible.

Ruben smiled "I just wanted to see how you're doing and see if you're missing me as much as I'm missing you."

"Um, how...?"

"Did I get your real number?" He chuckled.

Heat rose to your face.

"Well, after calling "your number" over a hundred times, Fabio let me get in touch with your friend who told me what was going on."

"Alicia gave you this number?"

"Mhm." He nodded, tossing what looked to be a grape, into his mouth. "She told me that you thought that I wasn't that into you, that perhaps I was only out to screw you over or something."

"She did what?"

"It's ridiculous, I agree. How do you even come up with something like that? I mean you're the one who screwed me over by letting me call a fake number like an idiot."

There was a jab in your stomach as his tone was serious, laced with sincere hurt. "Ruben I'm so sorry. I didn't..."

"Let's not play the blame game." He waved. "Your friend made it clear that you haven't been dating for a while and that your game might be a bit stiff."

"Pardon?"

Ruben laughed.

"I am not stiff."

"I believe you." He said, although he had trouble talking between laughs. "I mean you look pretty relaxed in that bathtub back there."

You gasped when you realized. "Oh my god. Ruben I'm...." Embarrassed. You were terrible embaresssed, sinking deeper into the water to cover yourself. You and Ruben hadn't talked for days and the first thing he sees is you slipping him a nipple.

"It's okay, Y/N, really. The view is great from here."

"Oh shut up."

You put the phone away, letting Ruben have a good view of your bathroom ceiling. The tub needed more water, and bubbles, lots of of bubbles.

"There you are." He exclaimed, once you returned to the screen, now neck deep in in the water. "Thought I lost you for a sec."

"Ruben, maybe now is not the time." You said, tormentented by how stupid you must come across to him.

"Y/N." He said, his voice now restrained.

"What?" You muttered, trying to stare at anything but the screen.

"Look at me."

Your eyes looked up, meeting Ruben's kind gaze.

"You're good, okay. Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable by calling unexpectedly. I just...." He sighed, a hand running through his already messy hair. "I can't seem to get you out of my mind."

You sunk deeper into the water,  biting down on your lip. "Me too. I can't stop thinking about you either."

"Well, when can we meet?" He seemed excited that your feelings were mutual.

"Ruben, I'm not sure I'll be going back to Portugal anytime soon. I mean I have a job to do and..."

"Y/N." He said. No. Chuckled.

"What's so funny?" You frowned

"You really don't watch football do you?"

"What do you mean?"

Ruben sat up in bed, showing off the tracksuit he was wearing. "You said you've heard of Manchester United, no?"

"Yes, the English team that you told me played in the Premier League."

"Right. Well I play for their arche rivals Manchester City, meaning I live in Manchester, England."

"Wait what?"

"Yeah."

"So, you're not from Portugal?"

He chuckled. "I'm from Portugal Y/N, I was born and raise there. But just like you I was just on vacation. I got back to Manchester yesterday."

"So what you're saying is that we're both in England as we speak?"

"Yes. And my team has fixtures in London all the time, meaning I'll be able to come see you between games."

"Right."

The problem was that you had once again lied to Ruben when he asked you were in England you lived. You figured London sounded more suitable abode for a business woman, not Chells Way, Stevenage.

"Y/N, you alright?"

The downside about facetime was that your emotions were all on display. Ruben clearly caught your reaction to his offer and it was not what he had expected.

"Of course, there is no pressure for us to meet." He said, clearing his throat. "I just thought, that it was something that we both wanted."

"I want to meet." You nodded, although your voice betrayed you. "I just...my job, you know?" It was another lie. You were piling lie upon lie on this fake love of yours. Nevertheless, Ruben ate it all up, nodding understandingly. "I get it."

He was so kind. He didn't deserve this from you, from anyone.

"Ruben?" You whispered, following a moment spent in silence.

"Yes."

"I really missed you."

A muscle jerked in the corner of his lips. "I missed you too."

"Tell me." You sighed, leaning back against the tub, splashing water around yourself. "Tell me how much you've missed me."

Ruben froze for a brief moment, seeing you redirect the camera angle in a way that revealed more of your body.

"Alot." He gulped, watching you dip a hand between your legs.

"Yeah? Tell me more."

He couldn't see all of you through the murky water. But as the layers of bubbles disappeared with your slow shifts, the swell of your breast resurfacing.

"Oh, baby don't do this to me." Ruben's head fell back against his pillows as he too adjusted his camera angles. You watched him slip a hand down his sweatpants and stroke whatever he was hiding in there. "I missed you so much, wishing you were here, with me." He moaned, chest heaving up and down with his heavy breathing.

"Ruben, please. Tell me what you want to do to me." You up the pace of the movement between you legs. You we drawing small circles against your clit, the sensation sending chocks of lightning to your body's nerve endings.

"I want to fuck you, hard." He groaned.

"Yeah, and?"

"Fuck you hard and watch your tittes bounce when you ride me."

"Yes, and?" You were squinting your eyes, primitive moans leaving your mouth, echoing throughout your bathroom.

"And..." He grunted on the edge of something. His movements down his pants were faster than yours, unable to contain himself.

"And, Ruben? Please tell me."

"Baby, I can't. I'm close." Ruben's camera shook with the bouncing of his bed. You watch him please himself, please himself to the image of you.

"Me too baby, me too." You arched your back in the tub, one of your legs going over the edge, opening yourself up wider. "Look at me baby, watch me come for you."

He seemed unable to multitask, having to slow down as not to make himself come before you. He watched you please yourself to the point of screaming his name, you're fingers buried deep inside of you.

"Fuck." He groaned, staining his bedsheets with the erruption of his cock.

"That felt good." You smiled, regaining your breath, coming down from the high. "I can't believe I just did that."

"Me neither." Ruben said, no longer in his bed. He looked to be in a small bathroom, washing his hands. "Sametime tomorrow?"

You shook your head, unable to hide your smile. "Goodbye Ruben."

He smiled, a cheeky smile. "Goodbye Y/N."

[lizzieislife94x]

Mile High Club (w.m)

WandaG!PxFem Reader

Just a little update to keep the stories up to date I only started writing like 5 days ago but for some reason I enjoy writing g!p don't know why but I hope you enjoy if you don't only way to fix it is by messaging me YOUR requests what you would like to read but until then y'all have to deal with what my imagination creates lmaooo. Anyway enjoy 😉 (sorry just keeping what was already wrote bc im copy and pasting)

Y/ns POV: 

"Uggggh how long is left until we arrive wanda I feel like we've been up here for 8 hours" I groan at the annoyed looking witch across from me, she just gives me a death stare "y/n shut up I don't want to be here anymore than you do I'd rather be doing literally anything else than this we've only been in the air 40 minutes and I swear if you don't shut up I will throw you out this jet I'm not dealing with your whining for the next 7 hours, go entertain yourself or sleep I don't really care just do it away from me" she spits out and I feel a mixture of emotions the strangest is turned on when she yells at me or gives me a death stare it makes me feel some kinda way I'm not gonna lie I purposely annoy her at times to get a reaction because its such a turn on, we've both been on the avengers for like 3 years now and we never really liked each other I don't dislike her but we never really got to know each other to like each other so it kind of went from there I think that's why the team sent just me and her because they can't bare to be in the same room as us when we bicker never mind trapped in metal bird for 7 hours, I shake my head getting out of my thoughts and let out a frustrated sigh "fine you stay up here I'm going to go lay down I don't wanna be here either I'd rather be at a bar having fun drinking and potentially hooking up with someone than behere I don't know why fury put us on this stupid mission" I say with attitude as I storm away not giving her time to reply.

3 hours later

I continued to toss and turn like I have been the last few hours I can't seem to fall asleep then an idea pops into my head I bite my lip and slide my hand down my sweat pants and panties letting out a low moan at the contact I slowly start to rub circles on my clit teasing myself as the thought of Wanda pops into my head I can't lie but every time I need to get off I can't help but think of her nothing else seems to work I continue to tease my clit before sliding my hand out and taking off my sweats and panties mhh much better I slide my hand back down to my pussy and close my eyes continuing the teasing of my clit fuck this feels good, I slide my 2 fingers into my already dripping cunt and begin to thrust slowly letting out moans getting lost in the pleasure "oh fuck Wanda yessss right there don't stop" I moan completely forgetting where I am I don't notice due to the amazing feeling I'm bring myself "fuck fuck I'm so bad I need you to put me in my place daddy"

I instantly freeze when I hear a snicker I know to well and I don't dare open my eyes fuck fuck fuck "eyes on me y/n" she states as her accent creeps through this isn't happening I open my eyes and look up at a smug Wanda and my eyes instantly catch her huge bulge in her sweats holy fuck, I pull my fingers out and close my legs and mumble breathless "what are you doing here a little privacy please" she smirks and bites her lip "I wouldn't have bothered until I heard you moan my name that caught my interest so I came over and heard you moaning about how much of a bad girl you where and you wanted me to put you in place so here I am princess spread those legs for daddy let me see that pretty pussy" I instantly open my legs for her fuck why do I feel the need to do as she says, she walks over to the bed biting her lip as she removes her clothes and the minute she removes her boxers my mouth falls open she's huge Holy shit "suck" she commands and I comply crawling over to her and biting lip, I take hold of her hard member and she let's out a moan, fuck that was hot I lower my head and tease her tip with my tounge wanting more of those sweet sweet moans and it works I slide more of her into my mouth trying to get all of her in, I start gagging and feel tears run down my cheek as she pulls out of me

"oh y/n well work on that don't worry princess the key is to breath through your nose but we'll get there" I blush as she pushes me back to lay down and climbs between my legs she wastes no time in attacking my clit and the sounds that leave my mouth I don't recognise no girl has made me feel like this let alone in the space of 30 seconds I continue to moan getting louder as she slides 3 fingers into my waiting cunt fuckkkkk "shit daddy don't stop I'm so fucking close" I beg and feel her smirk into my cunt after a few more thrusts of her magical fingers I cum with a scream of her name "fuck y/n that was so fucking sexy, I can't wait to fuck that attitude out of you do you have any condoms" she breaths out clearly turned on "fuck I don't but I could always take plan B tomorrow or you could pull o.." I'm interrupted by Wanda shh'ing me while teasing my entrance with her soild member "oh no babygirl I won't be pulling out I want to fill your needy little cunt, we can get plan B" I moan and nod fuck that was sexy my thoughts are wiped when she bottoms out inside my tight cunt as a silent scream falls from my mouth hers to by the looks of it she stays still for a second looking into my eyes and I nod letting her know its ok to move, I instinctively wrap my legs around her pulling her closer and crash my lips against hers in a bruising kiss I don't fight her I let her invade my mouth with her tounge both of us moaning into each others mouths as her thrusts get faster and harder hitting my gspot over and over I break away from the kiss and moan "I'm.. fuck I'm gonna cum" she smirks and switches positions putting my legs over her shoulders so she can get deeper and holy shit I've never felt anything like this "don't stop daddy" I moan into her ear as she pounds my needy pussy till I cum all over her cock as my eyes roll and a string of words leave my mouth she slows her thrusts to help me through my orgasm "such a good girl you done so well for me baby, but we're not done" she smirks biting her lip pulling out of me and I whimper feeling so empty without her inside me, she gets up and helps me up walking into the main sitting area and pushes me against the wall spreading my legs "fuck Wanda I need you" and before I know it she's deep inside my tight cunt again groaning into my ear "fuck princess just like that you take my cock so well" I close my eyes moaning at the immense pleasure building up "fuck daddy I want you to fill me please" she starts pounding into me tightening her grip on my waist I know she's close I feel her twitching inside me so I start meeting her thrusts both of us chasing our highs "I'm gonna cum y/n" I moan feeling her thrusting harder and faster than before "me too daddy cum inside me "I moan out loud and I think that sent her over the edge because I feel her shooting her load deep inside me which sends me over the edge.

Fuck that was amazing after we both get ready I look over at her and smirk "I've wanted to do that for so long" she glares at me "I'm not even sorry why do you think I push your buttons so much because your so fucking sexy when you look at me like you're going to kill me" she just giggles and gives me a genuine smile I've never seen. I smirk and bite my lip "guess I can say I'm part of the milehigh club" she laughs and nods in agreement fuck her laugh is actually beautiful 

AN: just to keep the book up to date if you want anything specific let me know lovely people, all feedback welcome if you enjoy It if you don't I don't mind haha word count for this chapter is close to 1.6k 

[nhlclover]

one last kiss | arber xhekaj

summary: your boyfriend wants one last kiss before heading out for the day

request: yes / no

warnings: tooth rotting fluff

a/n: i totally think that, even though he's one of the league's tougher guys/more intimidating guys, he's such a softie.

word count: 0.5k

When I wake up, I am trapped beneath the warm embrace of my boyfriend. His bare chest is pressed against my similar back, with his chin resting in the nook of my chin and shoulder. Arber’s arm is hooked under mine which is keeping me where I am. I know he’s got morning skate soon, but I don’t want this precious moment to end, so I stay still.

I feel him stir, his arm pulling me closer, his lip pressing soft kisses to my shoulder. “Good morning.” His raspy morning voice speaks, sending chills up my spine.

“Morning, my love,” I reply. I wriggle underneath his grasp, flipping myself around to face him. “You have morning skate soon.”

He groans. “I don’t want to go.”

“You don’t mean that.” I giggle.

“What if I did? What if all I wanted to do for the rest of my life was to just lie here with you?” he said.

“And never play hockey again?” I remind him.

“You’d be worth it.” He says, pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

“You are so dramatic.” I say when we separate. “Come on, we can get ready together.”

We slip out of bed and change into our undergarments. We spend the morning completing each other's routines together. We brush our teeth side by side, then help one another pick out each other's outfits. We play music aloud while I do my makeup and Arber packs together his bag.

“Working on the night shift, baby. Dying for your touch like crazy. Racking up the overtime hours, loving how we're working on the night shift, baby.” Arber sings alongside John Pardi who’s playing through my phone.

I giggle as he comes up behind me, grabbing my hips and swaying them to the music, continuing to sing to the music. “You’re so pretty.” He mumbles into my neck, placing soft kisses up to my jaw.

"You're prettier." I reply. I flip around to face him, throwing my arms around his neck, and pulling him in to kiss me.

After I finish my makeup, we eat breakfast, before it’s finally time for Arber to head over to Brossard for practice.

“Alright have fun today, I’ll see you after the game tonight.” I say, pressing a kiss to his lips.

When I go to break apart, he doesn’t let me, instead keeping his grip firm on my hips. We keep kissing for a bit before I have to force us apart. “Alright you actually have to go now, or else you’re gonna be late.” I say.

“Fine.” Arber groans, grabbing his bag and heading out the door.

He barely gets one foot out before turning back to me. “I know I need to go, but one more kiss?” He asks.

I roll my eyes at Arber, coming to him and softly kissing him. I purposely drag out the kiss, letting him savour it a little longer.

“Alright, now get going.” I say, physically pushing him out the door.

“I love you, see you tonight.” He calls back to me.

“I love you too.” I call back.

[sunshinediaz]

wip wednesday

tagged by @wikiangela whose car sex fic has me SAT

i started the heart attack fic for bthb, but i'm gonna keep that to myself until it's finished and posted because i’m very insecure lmao, so have a little bit of eddie vs the hoa

“You sound jealous.”  Eddie balks, insulted at the mere suggestion that he’s jealous of somebody as contemptuous as Abbie Jean Gentry. “I am not!” He snorts. “I have never in my thirty-two years of life—count ‘em, thirty-two—I have been shot and stuck beneath the ground and lost my wife and been to war, but I have never, ever been jealous of anybody, and especially not motherfucking—” “Could’ve fooled me,” Buck interrupts, elbowing him in the side and motioning with his head at the woman walking up to their stall. “Hi, Mrs. Gentry.”  Abbie Jean Gentry is a beautiful, chubby woman with long, curling black hair and big, light green eyes. Her voice is deep and her laugh is infectious and she pulls off heels just as well as sneakers; she commands any room she walks into and makes sure to shake the hands of every person she meets and does her best to help solve whatever problem she’s faced with.  She’s not a bad person.  Eddie can’t stand her.  “Hi, Buck.” She smiles, all straight white teeth, and Eddie remembers the two years he wore braces with disdain. His sisters were ruthless when they made fun of him. “How are you?”  “Enjoying all these sweet treats,” Buck says, laughing, and hands the last sugar cookie off to one of the little kids that were following Chris around earlier. “Looks like the sale’s going well.”  She nods, appraising the fish bowl full of paper bills and coins at the edge of their table. It’s not as full as hers—she’s probably so proud. “It’s going even better than I expected,” she agrees, judging their clutter of cupcakes and broken cookies. “Did you make these yourself, Buck?”  “Huh? Oh, no.” Buck grins, hooking his thumb toward Eddie. “Eddie helped.”  Abbie Jean Gentry blinks, feigning surprise. “Oh, Mr. Diaz.” She smiles, close-mouthed and thin. “I didn’t see you there.”  Funny. Eddie’s standing right next to Buck, near enough their shoulders are touching. One can’t notice and speak with Buck without noticing the other.  Eddie curls his lip up. “I’m sure you didn’t.”  Buck elbows Eddie again, hard enough to hurt this time. “You’ll have to excuse him,” he says, giving her his best grin and wow, his best friend is a suck up. “We stayed up late last night finishing the cookies and cupcakes, and he hasn’t had anything to eat today except sweets.” 

this fic accidentally turned into a whole thing so we’ll see where it goes

no pressure tagging: @disasterbuckdiaz, @thewolvesof1998, @wildlife4life, @alyxmastershipper because i saw you say something about sub eddie 👁️, @shitouttabuck, @eddiediaztho 💜, @diazblunt, @watchyourbuck, @try-set-me-on-fire, @honestlydarkprincess, @housewifebuck, and uh whoever else 🫶🏼

[bluedalahorse]

Okay, I’ll bite. Posts like this one on the confessions blog kind of make me wonder/worry about how I come across on tumblr. I’m one of those people who’s 200% down for the secondary characters in YR, particularly the controversial ones. I’m also someone who’d been lurking for a while prior to season 2 airing, but joined tumblr a little bit after season 2 to finally start discussing with people.

Given the way the post I linked above resonates with some of the themes I made a post about few days ago, it seems like the anon and I might both be struggling with some of the patterns of conversation in fandom. That said, we’re coming from very different places. And given the way I engage with this fandom, I sometimes wonder if I’m the antagonist in someone’s fandom story.

I do recognize that some of my posts come from a place where I could come across as pretentious, lecturing, or overbearing in some way. When I first de-lurked this fandom, I talked about a lot of the show in terms of craft and literary theory and such, in part because I’m in grad school for just that and in part because I hang out with a friends group IRL who uses that existing vocabulary to discuss things we love. I was also using the academic voice with a dose of sarcasm thrown in as a sort of armor, because I knew my favorite characters in the show (Sara and August) were so widely beloathed by so many people. I was worried that if my first post was “wow they sure are cute even if they’re messy; where do I find the fanfic?” I wouldn’t make friends, or possibly would even get chased off of tumblr. I figured it was much safer to come in and say things like “I find it really interesting to see how their relationship is a narrative foil to Wilmon’s, and them being together really raises the stakes of the drama” and keep my Big Feelings to myself. (Especially since some posters can be pretty nasty about my faves, and make assumptions about what I’m an “apologist” for when I talk about them.) I still lean into academic speak to some extent—like I said, it’s part of who I am even outside of YR, so it’s hard to shake. But rest assured there is fannish passion behind it, and also know I don’t think academic speak should be a requirement for participating in fandom.

I’m also wondering… what role should making the case for the characters and plotlines one loves play in establishing one’s fandom presence? Like, in general? Ultimately my motive when I make my posts, analysis or otherwise, is to invite people to play in my weird little sandbox with me. (If they want to, of course!) I recognize that some of my fandom opinions/hills I will die on are what they are, so I imagine some folks don’t want to change their opinions any more than I do. But I also recognize that in more than two decades of being in fandom, there are times when someone else’s passion for a character or a take on some aspect of a show or book really led me to see something new and interesting, or hook on to particular rarepairs or whatever else. That’s the beauty of fandom as a community—we all get more excited about things together and share our love of things. Since some of my favorite aspects of YR are much much more rarely represented in fanworks, I’m usually talking about how I adore them in hopes that I’ll continue to find the people who like the things I like, and in hopes that maybe I’ll spark something in someone’s brain and they’ll write a cool fic or draw cool art or something. Talking to people here has made me more interested in pairings like Walty and Stedrika, which I didn’t think about as much before on my first watchthroughs of the show. So anyway… I do know there’s some folks out there who are never gonna be interested in what I’m interested in. I also know there are folks, myself included, who’ve learned things from what other people are passionate about. I also know there are some opinions that seem a lot more unpopular than they are until someone voices them.

I recognize that the two factors above—a tendency toward academic speak, and another tendency to make the case for the less popular things I love about the show in hopes that people will join me, combined with maybe me not having the best day or not choosing my words well—all that together and I could I see how I could come across as pretentious or holier-than-thou or looking down on people. (And admittedly there are times where my posts come from a place of frustration about the way certain characters are talked about. I think we’ve all been there at one time or another.) It really isn’t my intention to come across in a negative way, but I can see how it would happen. It’s also possible I’m doing something that completely doesn’t register with me at all, but it’s super hurtful to others. I may not know the full extent to how I’ve bothered someone, because ultimately I am just in my own head.

If I’ve hurt you or made you feel crappy in your time being a fan on tumblr, I am truly sorry. I’m open to talking about it if you want to talk about it, but also, zero pressure if you just kind of want to hang out in your own space and do your own thing.

To sum up… it seems like on one hand there’s a portion of fandom that seems to want to embrace the YR world in its entirety, and another portion of fandom that would like to lean into a focus on Wilmon. And there’s probably people all across a spectrum there, because nothing is a strict binary. All are valid approaches! I don’t think we all need to be best friends, but I do think we need to figure out how to coexist and assume positive intent in each other’s approaches to the work. Does anyone have ideas about that? Are there hashtags we could be using a little more carefully? I don’t have answers yet, but it is something I’m thinking about.

[sad-drake-lyrics]

alright, i’m having a lot of feelings™ about giyushino & i have to talk about it because otherwise i will implode. i’ve liked the idea of them together from s1, like most people who ship them seem to; but then i stopped thinking about them much due to obsession with other ships, and also because after their initial altercation on Mount Natagumo they don’t really get much screentime together, so i just lost interest.

but in my modern day obamitsu AU (you can find my ao3 link on my page!), i’m featuring giyushino as a background ship, & i am starting to catch fucking feelings myself from writing them. (if you head off to read the fic, there’s only two chapters posted so far & Giyuu + Shinobu are not in it yet, but will be very soon.)

so, here we go. gimme a moment to ramble about what inspired these HCs / character analyses before i get to the meat & potatoes.

street lights by killedmyself is one of my favourite songs despite the fact it being really more of a piece of audio art than a song - it’s mainly a movie dialogue sample mixed with sad boi lo-fi beats, but i play it all the time because it somehow hurts so good. so i was listening to it when thinking of the aforementioned modern AU, & i had an epiphany like “holy fuck, this is exactly how a giyushino relationship would go down, whether in a canon AU or any other story.”

the sample in the song is from No Strings Attached, a typical romantic comedy/drama about two close friends who have a deep understanding of each other and casually have sex, but the guy catches feelings and the girl wants nothing to do with a relationship.

(honestly, most people would probably find this movie boring - it’s a basic white het ship storyline; i only watched it because of the song, & the conversation in the song is literally the best part - otherwise the movie is hella bland & i wouldn't care if i never saw it again LOL so i’m def. not saying “go watch this” here.)

anyway, i’m listening to this song, and i’m like “omg, i can hear Giyuu & Shinobu saying every fucking line.”

basically, in my mind, Giyuu & Shinobu would start hooking up just for the sake of it - probably as a result of a quiet development of closeness born essentially out of convenience (they are always at the Ubuyashiki Estate together or working together), and then one night boning goes down. they’re attracted to each other; they like each other as people; and then the sex is good, so it keeps happening.

& very quickly, sad boi Giyuu, who is typically self-isolated and depressed, starts crushing hard. he’s alone and he’s desperate for human interaction and affection, even though he doesn’t realize it - and Shinobu is beautiful, and he admires her. plus they’re starting to have a lot of sex; & it’s pretty common for that to bloom some sense of love, ranging from base level attachment to infatuation to real feels - and it gets to the point where Giyuu wants to be with her.

but Shinobu doesn’t want the same thing. she cares about him (more than she can admit), but she’s fiercely independent and immensely dedicated to her work (with all her research and crafting of medicines & poisons). she puts this work above absolutely everything else with self-denying devotion - her happiness doesn’t matter; like she tells Tanjirou, she’s angry, and all that matters is success. a relationship for her would be a distraction, & she doesn’t need it - doesn’t want to deal with it; too many emotional ups & downs; too much drama; too much risk; too much intimacy with someone else, which actually terrifies her. so when Giyuu tells her he wants a relationship, she rejects him.

now let’s take the samples that slap me in the face with giyushino feels from street lights, which i can literally hear coming out of their fucking mouths.

Shinobu: You know me, this stuff freaks me out. It's fake. What’s wrong with what we’re doing? It’s working, we don’t have to fight -

Giyuu: Maybe I wanna fight.

Shinobu: Yeah, well I don’t.

Giyuu: What are you gonna do - you’re just never gonna feel anything? How are you gonna do that?

Shinobu: I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.

^ this exchange already starts murdering me because i feel like once Giyuu realizes he has legitimate feelings for Shinobu, and is wrestling with his own self-denial and inability to accept love from others because of how much he hates himself - he sees that Shinobu does the same thing - she doesn’t want to feel anything too deeply because she’s traumatized from Kanae’s death. she doesn’t want to love anyone else in a way that makes them more important than anything else (though, yes, we have to also acknowledge her love for Kanao here, but i imagine that's it for her - no more), so that she can’t experience loss again. she’s scared; she protects herself by being self-sufficient and dedicating herself to her work.

she's also stubborn asf, and sincerely believes in herself and what she's capable of, and so "I don't know. I'll figure it out." is literally what she would respond to this challenge.

Shinobu: I don’t need you to take care of me. I take care of myself. That’s what I do.

^ destroying me because this is exactly what Shinobu does. this is her MO; her armor.

Shinobu: Why don’t you go find some other girl who’s not gonna hurt you?

Giyuu: Because I love you.

^ help. why are they like this. it’s because Giyuu’s so alone, but when he feels, he feels deeply (seen even in his initially inexplicable sentimentality for Tanjirou & Nezuko from the beginning, all the way to when we finally hear his backstory with Sabito). he’s smart and intuitive, he can see right through Shinobu - right through everything she does to protect herself. he also doesn’t give up on people he cares about, and his sad boi meter is off the charts - he probably thinks he deserves rejection. plus we have Shinobu pushing everyone away so hard because she can’t handle it.

also going off the HC here that they’re casually hooking up throughout this: oh boy is this a mess of confusing emotions for both of them, both struggling to keep it bottled up, and Giyuu is clearly the weaker link. he just would be. he’s too sensitive.

Giyuu: It’s obvious, I completely love you - there. You’re such a wimp.

Shinobu: I am not!

Giyuu: Well then be with me.

^ why is this dialogue like, canon. it’s their personalities to a T - the way they push at each other in a way of making fun of each other; the way Giyuu is honest despite his problems with feelings; the way strong, independent Shinobu would be so offended at him calling her a wimp (which he totally would fucking say) - calling her out on how she blocks out feelings for others to stay focused on her mission so she can protect them, but so she also can’t get heartbroken, because she can’t go through that again.

*cough*

anyway. there’s my roughly 1k word count essay on how i envision a romantic giyushino dynamic. i’ll be trying to work this into my modern AU - but considering Giyuu and Shinobu are secondary characters, i don’t know how much i can explore this; still, i don’t have the full fic planned out, so nothing’s off the table.

but seriously, this shit hits me in my gut so hard i could probably write an entire fic about them just on this premise lol.

anyway, yeah. woke up at 7:30, made a cup of coffee, sat down on the computer and just wrote this essay out of nowhere in an hour because suddenly giyushino is also ruining my life.

[blubushie]

Weird as hell being told another man would hold you and rock you and getting emotional about it. Especially when you haven't been held by another bloke like that since you were a child. And that boy also stopped being your friend because he found out you liked boys and was cool with it until you liked him too and then you stopped being The Good Faggot and just became a faggot.

What the fuck do you mean I'm a human being with human emotions and it's ok to want to be held by another man without judgement or him thinking a certain way about me. No that's gay shit that's for those feminine gays that's not me. I don't want that I don't NEED that I don't need ANYONE actually and I'm fine being alone forever and never even looking at another man and wishing he'd hold me cuz that's gay.

But the thought persists and I think of men I've known and spent time around and if they act a certain way or look a certain way I inherently feel INFERIOR and it's a constant need to prove myself and my masculinity to them so they don't think I'm one of those other men. And there's nothing wrong with being one of those other men, it's just that that's NOT ME but everyone ASSUMES IT IS because of how I look. If a bloke is taller than me I can't be short girlfriend. If a bloke is taller than me I can't be the bottom during a root. If a bloke is taller or smarter or more masculine I constantly have to prove that I can compete, I can endure, I can be just like him and BETTER because if I DON'T I'm not man enough, I'm not male enough, my chromosomes betray me and I'm the girl I was genetically supposed to be before my anatomy fucked itself and I constantly have to PROVE. If I wasn't short if I wasn't intersex and I FAILED it would just be lack of skill or lack of a something else but it wouldn't be "because you were supposed to have been born a girl and your chromosomes and height reflect that."

But it means I miss out. I haven't been held by another man for 8 years. I've never danced with another man because I'd be the one holding onto him due to the height difference. And it enrages me. I want to I want to I want to but I CAN'T because more than I want to be held, more than I want to be danced with, more than I want to be kissed and assured and hugged and have fingers through my hair, more than anything I want to be seen as equal.

And I'll never be. And that really really sucks. And I wonder how many years are gonna keep going by where I don't let myself do things I want or need because despite my fear of how people perceive me I AM a man and my status is everything. I can't be lesser than and I don't want to be.

I HAVE to prove I'm better I HAVE to prove I'm more capable I have to prove it to myself or to the men around me or to the women or to GOD HERSELF that I am more than the sum of my parts I am more than the body she put me in I can rise above whatever fucking curse this is and be good. It's not enough to be good. I need to be BETTER. Better than I thought I could be, better than everyone around me, better than anyone ever thought I could be it's not enough to be good at something I have to excel I have to be THE BEST AT WHAT I DO or it's not enough. I don't want what they have I don't want to be them I wanna be better. I need to be better.

If I was tall I'd just be some bloke. If I was perisex I'd just be some bloke. But I'm not. I'm a short intersex man and so EVERYTHING is entwined, EVERYTHING is a catch, I am the short feminine bottom except that's NOT ME. That's all anyone ever assumes upon meeting me and trying to hook up and the amount of times I've gotten people ANGRY WITH ME for telling them that I don't bottom is insane. You wouldn't make that assumption if I wasn't short and androgynous!

So I just don't do things and it builds and it builds and it builds and then I'm told that yeah actually another man WOULD slow dance with me and hold me and press his face into my hair and he WOULDN'T think any different of me about it because I might like to be held sometimes I think that's pretty human but I'm also the bloke who hunts dangerous animals and is a fucking good shot and gets in pub fights and can sink piss better than anybody and can track anything that leaves a trail and can skin a rabbit in ten seconds and ties his own flies for fishing and I'm CAPABLE and my need for physical affection or the desire to just be HELD by another man doesn't change that.

And I'm left staring at my phone and crying and wondering why I'm so emotional and if maybe I really am just a faggot because men don't cry over just being held by someone. Even if it has been eight years. Even if he's desperate to just not feel alone for once. Even if.

But god, do I want to.

It's ok to reblog this but please DO NOT tag it with any trans tags. I love my trans siblings and I get that we might have similar experiences in some areas, but this is explicitly about my experience as an intersex man and homophobia I experienced growing up as a boy who was attracted to other boys, and how it's affected me as an adult man. I'd like that to be respected. You cannot separate this post from my experiences as an intersex man. Thank you.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Not Your Call

Sweet Treats AU Masterlist

Tony being insistent and relentless.

Please let me know what you think <3

🍓🍓🍓

You ignore the beep of a horn as you keep your head down and skirt along the pavement outside the box store. Life is back to its usual dull sheen, plain and boring. The honk comes again and like nights before, a sleek car rolls up parallel to the curb.

You stop and face the windows as it glides down. Deja vu gleans in your eyes as Tony smirks over the edge of the tinted window, “what’s the hurry, sweetheart?”

You smile and peek over your shoulder. You have five minutes to clock in. You turn back to him and shrug, “got a shift–”

“Ah,” he nods and slides over the seat, opening the door to step out, “you shouldn’t waste your time pushing headphones.”

“I gotta…” you shift on your feet as he holds up a finger and you watch as he reaches into the car and swiftly spins back to you. He holds up the string of diamonds, dangling them before you like a cat toy.

“What am I going to do with these?” He asks.

“I told you, Tony, I can’t–”

“I read the letter. Very cute,” he frowns, his jaw ticking, “you’d rather this,” he flicks his eyes up to the store sign emphatically, “than me? You won’t ever have to work another day.”

“It’s really nice of you, Tony, but it doesn’t feel right–”

“Not right?” He tuts, “it felt pretty damn good kissing you.”

You swallow and shake your head, “I don’t know…” you rub your arm as your purse hangs from your elbow, “it’s a nice idea.”

“It’s real,” he insists as he unclasps the necklace and steps closer. He hooks it around your neck as you stand paralysed. He fixes it around the collar of your work shirt and clicks his tongue, “I will say, I think it would look better with something else. A little black dress, maybe.”

You wilt under his closeness and clear your throat. “I’m gonna be late–”

“Quit,” he says sharply, “don’t go in there. Come with me. They pay you pennies, I’ll give you everything you could ever want.”

It’s a fantasy. A dream come true. You can’t say you never caught yourself longing for the absurd offer while stocking shelves but something about it just doesn’t feel right. Like you’re giving something up. Retail might not be ideal but you make your own money.

“I don’t get it. What do you get out of it?”

He smirks and cradles your face in his hands as he makes you look him in the face, “you, sweetheart. That’s all I want.”

You frown, “why?”

His thumb brushes your cheekbone and his tongue peeks over his lower lip, “how could I not want you?”

The heat speckles up your chest and along your neck, you feel the sweat along your hairline as you try to withstand his gaze. You want to laugh. It’s got to be a joke.

“I don’t know,” you touch his sleeve and gently nudge away his hands, “it’s a lot–”

“Right, babe, I’m done messing around,” he taps the end of your nose, “this is exactly why you need me.”

You stagger as he sidesteps you and you turn to follow him as he struts up the pavement towards the doors. If they weren’t automatic, you’re not sure they wouldn’t have just opened before his indomitable presence. You tail after him in concerned confusion.

“What do you me–”

“Hey,” he waves as he approaches Dorothea as she snarls at a mobile associate, “you, manager lady– person,” he stops short and her eyes flash at him before she forces her curdling customer service smile.

“Oh, Mr. Stark,” she trills, “you’re back–”

“Not for long,” he says, “I’ve just come to inform you that you’ll be short staffed today. And… most days.”

“Wait–” you come to stand at his elbow, “what–”

“She quits.”

“Huh?” Dorothea scowls, “quit?”

“Done, no more, something about a bitchy supervisor,” he smirks, “she’s on to bigger and better things.”

“Wha– I–” she sputters, “sir, with all due respect, I don’t care who you are, you can get out of my store and take that rat with you.”

He chuckles and looks around, “gladly. I could build anything in this store myself from scratch. I’d rather stick my head in a toilet than stay but I will be sure to give Justin a call at district. Nice guy.”

“Justin– sir,” her tone turns desperate, “I’m sorry, but you have to understand, this is a busy day–”

“Not my problem,” he shrugs and pivots on his heel, ushering you away with his hand on your back, “now, sweetheart, now you’re freed up, we do have somewhere to be.”

“You– just—” you gasp into speechlessness.

“Oh, it won’t be the only time I rock your world, sweetheart,” he preens.”

[humanmorph]

PALISADE 28.crazy good this week etc

New radio person for the intro...! This comes at a good moment. I still miss Baldwin Home like. That very first PALISADE intro is genuinely so hard to beat... but this feels good. I'm once again thinking about Austin writing these... The style used for Black Screens intros obviously shines through (she's his protégé) but she does have her own voice already (way more rhyming? I mean, I'd have to doublecheck HIS intros, it's literally just a feeling). Just the tone used and intonation already does a lot. Austin is so good at this fr. I'm still curious how he even approaches that. Also the "watch me unloose 80 Ls on these next lines" I knewwww that's 80 Ls for real as soon as Parti said illogical. I wonder if he wrote that bit first trying to see how many Ls he could fit in there & then finetuned it to get to a good number? I guess that's just how I would do it.

(who knows if we'll ever get a description for Parti. we never did for Black. maybe if she shows up in a conflict turn somehow? so im just fuckin around for now... i haven't sold myself on the clothes. i'm just not a fashion guy. but i do like the braids)

Oh & new guy alert part 2!!! New Keith character! And he has a funny hat. Not even funny as in goofy it just makes me laugh a bit because my dad and maybe every 5th 70+ y/o man I see has a hat like that. Love the sequin poncho.

(btw I am almost certain Keith has posted a picture of that teapot on Cohost before... He posts about tea sometimes so there's at least a chance. I mean the description of the coloring he gives is actually pretty good IMO, you can work with that, but I as an artist I like to have a visual reference. EDIT: someone just asked him. thank you keith and also rosecrest)

I have the. I got Armor Astir & a lot of the playbooks other people made in a bundle a while back and I'm real torn if I should just look at the Investigator because I'm really curious. But. I also love to be surprised. So I probably won't, but it's good to know I COULD, if I wanted to. Anyways, I was pretty sure it'd be another B-Plot character too, just because it makes sense. Brnine COULD go alone on a B-Plot, I guess, but it's more fun with 2 groups to jump between, surely. Though this means the Eclectic-Brnine dynamic is crucial! I hope they can meet up soon... But yeah I just really am gonna miss Phrygian backing them up and cheering and clapping and asking questions. They were so fun together... A great team :' (

ok so I wrote everything else about Eclectic down yesterday & then noted down "vibes?" as break between paragraphs because all I had at that point was the description & I wanted to get back to this. And ooohhh my god the vibes are fucking immaculate right off the bat I'm having a hard time to not Already be obsessed with this guy he's SO funny conceptually and it KEPT getting better... Truly delighted with this new type of guy (& Keith is doing a voice!). And I fucking love the hooks. Truly so great to me. The thought of these getting loosened OR deepened is already really really good. "Leap says"..... oh it's SO funny I keep laughing to myself

And I'm VERY excited it's a delegate like genuinely so happy. I was mourning the loss of a branched onscreen (okay.I still am) but this does make it worth it. Ever since they got introduced basically I so badly wanted to know anything more about them, but especially what Austin mentioned in the episode itself: the delegates relationships to the divines they are made from & of course the divines themselves (who are alive!!! Apparently that was already written in a dossier way back when, but I rarely read those). That has me sooo excited.

Oh and the like... I only thought about this just now but the connection there to Thisbe's new project is. That's gotta be something! "The divine who's being held captive somewhere on this planet, and has been tortured for millennia" hearing a message of... That this can end & rest is possible and it's SO CLOSE? But does that just make it worse... Ohhhhh. Yeah this rules. What a great idea.

That project generally is really... god, I love Thisbe so much. I love how Janine talks about her and what she thinks and why she does what she does. Thisbe's relationship to work and being a tool and of use is so interesting to put here, with the divines wanting to rest. (And Janine saying something like... Thisbe thinks of herself in relation to divines how Mow is to her? Kind of?) And saying it seems so solitary a project... every divine should know about it. Every divine deserves the right to rest. But it's also a call to action of sorts when she talks about like... "shouldn't you want to protect this?" I think her "Fighting is not my purpose, but there is nowhere else for me until the fighting is over." hook could be in conservation here too... Also I'm just looking forward for Thisbe to Broadcast again. It was like, one of her things in PARTIZAN. I really liked her & Cori working on this together with the. Experience they just had behind them. Sylvi & Janine reading the hooks for each others characters kind of sheepishly was soooo funny "I forgot how bitchy this was!". That's good stuff to me. (as an aside: god, Thisbe has always had good as hell hooks/beliefs/whatever else. Remember "Operant Broun lies to me because they believe I am a person."? Banger. ) I also love that she thought of this/about this at the rib(?) of Barricade. Barricade as an axiom who had this close (& good, protective) relationship with another axiom...

btw now that Leap is NOT coming back I do miss him a bit. Mostly out of principle like I am So happy we have Eclectic but Leap is my guy.... shoutout to him... being a bitch bastard pirate out there in space... + shoutout to Figure A too always : ) (speaking of, on the Gathering Information Extra bit from today he talked about if he had played Leap, picking a class that also had like, a crew, and I'm mostly just really curious who that would've been. I would love for Keith to make up some funny guys for Leap to order around. I wonder if Eclectic or an Eclectic type would've been on that?)

(Also Leap investigating Motion. Ok. To ME it's at least partly bc this was so important to Millie. And he has reason to be concerned generally he fought Motion too but. That's MILLIE'S rival! And it doesn't even have to be at the front of his mind when he does this. Maybe it isn't. But it's real & it's something to remember her by through actual action. Because he's not the sentimental type.Do you get me.?)

Brnine talk show. This was sooo good. After they joked about it in PAL25 too. I recognized the hosts name, but wasn't quite sure from where until I read the dossier - of course he's that guy from the podcast. God. I have got to relisten to that sometime... I remember Ali on one of the recent Gathering Information ep (the one w/ Austin on, I think) mentioning a conversation that was like. stressful to do. and then also to listen to? (since she has to for production/editing) and I figured it would be another Gucci-type talk but ooohh my god. This was sooo. EDIT: ACTUALLY what if it wasn't even. What if it's about to be this talk with Rye edit: GALLICA i cant believe noone called me on this. mixing my elects up. rye is the one gur killed (mvp). Austin was sounding a bit ominous about it at the end of this episode! HUGE shoutouts to Ali again she is just absolutely killing it this season for real... And I honestly feel like overall Brnine was, considering the situation, doing very well. Genuinely. You're feverish and hollowblooded and have this fucking. Guy needling you & asking the stupidest questions... & like. "You made Kalmeria. They'd never let you rot in jail." of courseeee they want Brnine working for them. They're so GOOD at what they do. They messed with the parts of A Fucking Divine. . I just had a scary thought and it involved Mustard Red. But. Surely not. Nooo. I'm shaking my head. However Arbitrage? An Arbitrage deal (like they tried to make them take before) would work just perfectly for this, wouldn't it...

some other stuff:

When Austin mentioned Grand Mag in that vision Cori had I thought something like 'man. sucks to be him : (' but like. In a genuine way. "I can't stop it from hurting people a little"........... Hah oh wow I just thought of this but I am so excited for people who haven't listened to TM to meet him now. He's not even my favourite he just makes me crazy in a way almost no other character does? Like there's something so WRONG with him. And there's things wrong with a lot of FatT characters but it's like... Well. Grand Magnificent.

I love the thought of them watching Brnines interview at the next movie night (POOR BRNINE.) but I also want to know what Eclectic would pick for movie night. Oh and Partial too. Though he may not be staying I would still really love to know. Partial coming on board for the mission has me intrigued generally.

Oh and Gur talking! Even if just a little. I still feel so bad for them. "I believe in whispers in ears"... and they have reason to now. Figure is a person trying their best to do good & make changes, which is what Gur wants. I just wish they weren't a specter haunting someone elses body & what even happens when Figure rolls a 10+. Is Gur still there and Figure just stops seeing him? oohh it hurts a bit.you can't do this to him you can't (related: I extremely forgot about the other specters and ghosts and ghouls and whatnot that Figure can also see. It's not just my friend Gur Sevraq. Looking forward to hear more about that & how it affects Figure so much as to roll with disadvantage!)

Love to learn just a little more about devotion. I really need to just relisten to that again & think about it a bit harder.

At one point Austin says "Still flanked by guards, you are" and it caught me off guard & made me wheeze. He didn't even do that on purpose . I get him I do this way too often(realize I forgot to say part of a sentence and pack it at the end)

[samijami]

Well idk what to call this but I'm identifying as demiromantic but it's more of like, I can mimic some romantic gestures, and I can understand some of the gestures, but most of romance is not something I understand yet I do want to attempt to partake in with my relationship

But my boyfriend (wow it's weird to type that out) is awkward with it too and all he's trying to do is assure me I don't need to spoil him in the relationship, or it's him being worried he's being too awkward about things and I'm sitting here like 'it's not that much of a big deal, just say it however awkwardly you want. I don't see the notion in saying it confidently anyways'

But my friend who he said we'll keep the relationship a secret from just to see how long it takes her to realise we're dating kind of was like 'anyways I'm taking my boyfriend out on a date and you two are coming, it's a double date' because she's still tryna hook us up (which is funny, cuz we're dating)

So I guess I have a date on Sunday, a double date with my 16 year old friend and her 18 year old boyfriend- and me and my friend are keeping the fact its a date a secret cuz we're not too much allowed to be dating yet-

But since it's a date and all, and he's most likely going to b the one picking me up (I think) uh...it's awkward, I don't fucking know what to do

They're still deciding where we're going and such but this would be my first ever fucking date. I got asked on one in 3rd grade but wasn't allowed to go lmfao go figure-

But covering it up as a friend outing will work and oh boy what the fuck am I supposed to do-

Well I have an idea a little? Don't people sometimes like..buy their date a small gift or something? I mean- I already got him valentines stuff cuz I dunno and don't understand the holiday it's kinda dumb but I'm trying to be active in the relationship-

And his birthday is also the day right after valentines so boy is getting a lot of gifts lmfao but that's just how I am anyways-

But he loves willy wonka,and is obsessed with the newer movie rn so I'm gonna buy him the book (he freaked out at knowing it existed, he definitely wants it lmfao) that is about the movie and give it to him on the date-

Uhhh what the fuck else should I do-?

Just be awkward the whole time..or-?

I never imagined myself getting a boyfriend ok sorry-

[enchantedblackrose]

Confessions

Pairing: Antonio Dawson/ Fem Reader

Requested: Kinda? Many eons ago by @fabyoliveira1999

Summary: A gunshot wound lands your partner in the hospital. An argument leads to surprising confessions from both of you.

Warnings: Mentions of a gun shot wound, some swearing, Reader self doubt

You’re absolutely livid right now, having just received a phone call you never wanted to get. Antonio is in the hospital. Your stupid, stubborn, sexy partner of one and half years from work got himself shot.

“Idiot,” you mutter aloud to only yourself as you change out of you pajama pants and into a pair of jeans. Off comes your tank top and you pick a semi clean basic tee shirt off your bedroom floor. You head into your bathroom next to tie your hair up in a hurried ponytail. Your boots are on and you’re already out the door and to your car when you wonder if you brushed your teeth. But you don’t care; you have to get to him.

Antonio.

Of the one and half years you’ve been a part of the Intelligence team, you’ve been in love with the seasoned detective for precisely seventeen months. A secret you keep to yourself.

You hate this, all of it, the being in love with him, feeling like you’re not good enough for him, terrified that you might lose him...

It’s easier to focus on the anger. But the harsh reality is Antonio is in the hospital from a gunshot wound. No other information was given. You don’t know his condition. It scares the hell out of you.

The drive to the hospital is a blur. As you rush through the doors, you see a few members from your team. Jay reaches you first. His gaze fixates on you and he sees the fear reflecting in y/e/c eyes. He places a hand on your forearm as if to steady you.

“It was a clean shot to his upper left arm. He’s okay, y/n,” he tells you. The relief you feel has you thinking you may cry. Jay softly repeats his words as he slowly removes his arm from yours. Your sergeant exits a patient room and notices you.

Hank’s gruff voice calls out your last name. “Antonio’s in there asking for his partner. He is not to be at the station today or tomorrow. Now, that’s an order and y/n, it’s your job to make sure he’s compliant. The rest of you meet back at the precinct asap.” You watch your coworkers disperse, then Hank reintegrates that you are to stay with Antonio and gives you a knowing nod. It takes you aback that all you manage to say is “yes, Sarge,” before you walk into Antonio’s room.

Your mouth is open to scold Antonio for his rash actions that led him here, but upon seeing him in the hospital bed, arm wrapped and in a sling, medical equipment still hooked up, you lose the words. You feel tears starting to sting your eyes. He smirks. Your partner actually has the audacity to smirk at you from his hospital bed. Anger floods your body.

“What the hell happened, Dawson? You were going to wait for me before you went back to that crime scene!”

Antonio is unbothered by your yelling. His voice is nonchalant. “I decided it couldn’t wait.”

Your annoyance grows; how could he be so flippant?

“Couldn’t wait,” you echo. “You got fucking shot because ‘you couldn’t wait’!”

“I’ll live,” he says with a shrug from his good side.

“But you didn’t know that for sure. Why? Why would you put yourself in that situation?”

Antonio sighs heavily. “I made a choice-“

“A bad one,” you interject, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Better me getting shot than you, alright?" His genuine concern for you is lost. Instead his words sting; it's like he's confirming all your self doubts.

You frown. "You…you don't think I can handle myself? Or that I am some kind of screw up?"

“Of course not; I lov-," he pauses to gather his thoughts. "Listen, I called you, right? You were still home in bed. Said you were 10 minutes out. I was already close, so I headed towards the scene. Activity started. It looked like things were gonna go south fast. I took action. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to agree with it, but it happened.”

“There was no one else around. No potential vics. I don’t understand!”

“Enough!” Antonio shouts. “I’m the superior officer. Not you. Me. You don’t get to keep undermining my call! For fuck’s sake, I thought you’d be relieved to see me. Not in here questioning my actions and giving me shit!”

His words cut you like a knife. You’re too stunned to say anything. You bite your lip to keep from crying. Antonio has never once spoken to this way. He’s always treated you as an equal and valued your opinion. Regret washes over Antonio, he opens his mouth to speak, but a light tap on the door interrupts him.

Both of you turn to see Jay’s brother, Doctor Will Halstead. You’re all fairly acquainted with one another, which is why Will is reluctant to come into the room.

“Um,” he says quietly finally retreating from the doorway, “I know you’re about to be discharged soon, Antonio, but there’s a lot of shouting coming from this room. I’m sorry, y/n, I’m going to have to ask you to leave...”   

“I was just about to. Sorry for all the noise.” You turn for the door.

“Wait,” Antonio calls out. “Let her stay, please. No more shouting, Will. I promise.”

Will looks at you, then back to Antonio, then sighs before leaving the room, shutting the door behind him.

An awkward silence fills the room. You shift your weight to your other foot.

“I’m going to go. I’m sorry, Antonio. I really am glad you’re okay. I’ll see if Ruz or Atwater are still here to give you a ride home.”

“Y/n, hold on. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

“It’s fine,” you wave your hand dismissively, desperate to leave.

“No, it’s not. It’s not okay for a partner to talk down to another. And it’s never okay for a man to speak to the woman he loves like that.”

“I...what?” You finally look at him to see him staring at you, a tentative smile on his lips. As you continue to stare at him wordlessly, his smile falters.

“Come here,” he pats a spot on the bed beside him. You oblige unsure of what is happening. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same. I’ll keep everything professional between us, but I need you to know: I love you. I have for a long time. I...are you crying?” You nod vigorously, unable to speak.  “Because I love you?” He asks, genuinely concerned. You nod again. Through your tears, you’re able to see the look of confusion and worry on Antonio’s face.

“I can’t believe you love me," you confess.

“What’s not to love, nena?”

“I’m not pretty enough,” you say, unable to meet his eyes. “And compared to you, I’m not strong or super smart. I’m nothing like Laura or Sylvie and you loved them. I’m not-“

Surprised, Antonio cuts you off. “Stop. You’re only right about one thing. You’re not Laura or Sylvie, but y/n, I don’t want you to be. You are incredible in so many ways. You’re a badass in Intelligence. You think of things no one else on the team does. You’re brave. Every day you show up ready to take names. You’re sensitive and empathetic when need be, but not naïve, and dios mio you are sexy, but beautiful too.”

A small blush creeps in your cheeks. You want to argue, but Antonio won’t let you. “I’m going to get discharged and I’m going to let you take me home and there I will show you exactly how sexy you are.”

“No,” you say. “I mean I’ll take you home, but you need to rest. You took a bullet to your arm.”

“Or maybe, we won’t wait,” he says ignoring you. He dips his head into your collarbone and traces your neck with his lips. His good arm wraps behind you and pulls you closer before he rests his hand in the back pocket of your jeans. His mouth finds yours. His hand rubs your ass through the denim. His touch and  kiss are so sensual, he elicits a moan from you.

The door swings open.

“A nurse was going to bring these by, but I said I would do it and...oh! Really?” Will looks at you both and shakes his head. Embarrassed, you try to try to pull yourself off of Antonio, but his strong grip isn’t breaking. He just sits there, unabashed. Will sighs and tosses the discharge papers onto the empty chair in the room before walking out. You wait until you hear the click of the door before you giggle.

"Let's get you home," you say. Once again Antonio stops you from leaving his side. He takes your hand in his. His beautiful brown eyes seem almost sad now.

"Y/n, I'm sorry it took me getting shot to tell you how I feel about you. I thought it best to leave it unsaid. I was wrong, but I don't want you to feel obligated to me in any way…"

You press your lips against his, cutting him off. This kiss, unlike the first, is sweet and tender.

"I love you, 'Tonio." You say, pulling back as you gently run a hand through his hair before resting it on his cheek. He leans into your touch, looking relieved at your words.

[hkthatgffan]

I still remember it like yesterday. I don’t think anyone forgets the first time they saw it. It’s crazy looking back at how long it’s been. I always assumed I’d be a fan for a few weeks at most…not 6 years and counting. Gravity Falls changed my life in ways I still am discovering. And now, 6 years on from that cold February evening in 2017 when I finally decided to give this 40-episode masterpiece a try, I still find looking back at it all so insane and why I fell for Alex Hirsch’s creation over literally anything else I could’ve.

I think after the show itself and the impact on me which I’ll mention later, the fandom’s full of life mentality and kindness was what got me hooked not even a week into it. I mean, I was a year late, so I didn’t think I was gonna find anyone left. I began on Gravity Falls Amino in 2017 and I don’t think I ever expected to find the GF fandom to be so alive and thriving, despite it at the time being a year on from the finale. I think to this day that’s something I love about it; yeah, it’s not as big as it was at its peak. But it still is alive and well despite it being so long.

I think alongside just how alive the fandom was, it was also just the kindness of fans that kept me going. I afraid when I joined at first and felt intimidated at times. I was the new kid on the block. Were fans going to welcome me in or mock me for being late and gatekeep me out like I was less for not being a fan when it was airing? Well, I think the answer is pretty clear. I’ve been in so many fandoms since and while GF’s isn’t always perfect, the kindness in this fandom on all medians I’ve been on is incredible. Old fans are so supportive and helpful to new fans, new fans with curiosity bring new ideas to the table and help keep the stories alive and more. I see it on this the GF sub whenever a new fan is welcomed in for finishing the show or on other sites when they share art or ideas and more that watching GF gave them. I see it in old fans who return because they’ve been reminded about why they loved this show so much or the continued love from fans who never gave up on GF even when Next Summer became less a possibility and more a tear causing goodbye.

Yeah, we have our ups downs as a fandom, but we all are collectively here because we love this cartoon and what it means to us all. Whether you think the show ended perfectly or not, think Dipcifica is the best ship or Wendip is, think Bill is alive or dead, hate or love Mabel or Ford and more, we all are Gravity Falls fans first and foremost and that is something we all are aligned by.

Gravity Falls also made me love animation again after a year of just being away from the median. I’ve gone on to watch so many other cartoons since it. While I admit I still sometimes find myself trying to see if it can live up to GF, which is of course never the way one should watch another show; by comparing it to another, I do owe GF for my renewed passion. It made me not only love animation, but also find a great deal of respect and admiration for the people who make them. From creators to animators, writers to VA’s, Gravity Falls was a huge reason why I now watch every new cartoon with a greater deal of respect for those who work to make the median so incredible.

There is so much more I could say about Gravity Falls and its impact on me…be it the channel I created through it and video creating skills I learned through working with it, the fanfics, the fanart, the communities I’ve had the chance to be part of cause of it, the good and bad from the people and events I’ve been part of from it, or even the renewed appreciation for those I care most about because I saw so much in me in Dipper and Mabel’s sibling relationship. But the thing is…when I found this show, I was at a low point in my life and at the least hopeful for the future.

I was in a real bad place mentally speaking. Really just questioning where it all went wrong and not being able to find a reason to crack a smile anymore. I was the least optimistic I ever was about the future. And then for some reason, I decided one day, after seeing a video about how it ended well, I’d give this cartoon I barely heard about but knew the existence of, a chance. I mean, what was the worst that could happen? I think everyone has their own story for when it hit them in relation to their reason to love this show. I have to be honest, I think the defining reason for me is now lost to time or buried deep in my memories now…but the combination of just Gravity Falls’ pure fun feeling, mystery and emphasis on fan interaction, as well as nostalgia factor really got me excited. But there was one other reason I fell so hard into the fandom and this show; the reason why it got me good...Escape.

It was almost like an escape from reality. For those first few months, I was nonstop Gravity Falls fandom. I scrolled through Amino on the daily to see what people were posting about it, checked Alex Hirsch’s Twitter to see what was new, checked the GF sub to see what was up and more. It was just wake up, classes, come home and obsess over GF, sleep, repeat. I think it’s taken me a long time to realize that at times, Gravity Falls was my Mabeland; my escape from the troubles of real life and the real world. But while it may have been easy to let this obsession become unhealthy and consume me and yeah, at times I feel it may have, I think in a way, it helped me reignite my motivation for the future and the next chapter ahead.

I think seeing Dipper tell Mabel that the future is not something to be afraid of and that going through it with someone who cares, was something I needed to hear and come to understanding the meaning of. Talking to people and finding ways to overcome it. I always thought I was more like Dipper but truthfully…those eyes of fear and the future Mabel had in Vs the Future were the ones I had in the lead up to this day 6 years ago when I gave episode 1 a watch. It’s ironically why I ended up loving her character more when so many others began to hate her. That fear Mabel had was something I understood. Not knowing if you’ll be okay in the future and who was there for you…Mabel really was my guide into and out of that emotion.

And slowly but surely, life got better and better. I did still have my ups and downs here and there and times where I wondered why I made this turn instead of the other with life (still do), but then, each turn was always gonna lead somewhere and by the end, I found my way out. I think now I am at the most stable and just mentally okay place I’ve been in for years. Gravity Falls wasn’t the reason I found my way out of that dark place…but it did give me the motivation and assurance that I needed to hear in order to do it myself.

I still don’t know what the future holds. Hell, even just last year I questioned if I’d still be here in the fandom to mark 6 years. Life is an up an down roller coaster with bumps that all try to throw you off. If you hold on too lightly, you’ll fly off and be lost, but if too strong, you won’t enjoy it. It’s a case of finding that balance. I had held on too lightly before I found GF. Then for a while I held on too hard as I used it as a means to escape. Being able to find the right grip to be able to take life for a spin but retain control was not easy, but I needed to do it if I ever wanted to see what the future was rather than think what if.

I sometimes get asked why Gravity Falls means so much to me when there’s cartoons out there that can be argued as being better than it. For me, Gravity Falls’ quality as a show isn’t why I love it so much. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve been able to allow myself to accept that GF isn’t perfect and see the cracks in it while still loving it instead of blindly believing it’s perfection. Neither is the notoriety I’ve gained from it. Anyone could’ve made the username That GF FAN and done what I did and still do. I’m not some mega fan or any special person. I’m just a guy who was a year late to the party and become obsessed with a cartoon that began 10 years ago, lol. I will forever be grateful for this fandom’s kindness and for giving me a chance and a place within it. And while I am always grateful for that, it’s not the only reason that to me Gravity Falls means so much.

It's the message this show sent; that message about life and never letting the future stop you from living it. To not let the past, dictate your future and to find those around you who will help make the future better. That was more important and of a thing that Gravity Falls gave me than any other cartoon I’ve seen since, no matter its quality gave me and more valuable than any Journal 3 Special Edition or piece of merchandise ever will be. It was the right show at the right time and just did it for me.

There was a high school student one cold February evening 6 years ago, who began watching a cartoon he had no idea about beyond a little background knowledge. And I doubt he ever imagined then that this one show would help him find the passion and reassurance to give life the fullest and find a way out of that dark moment so that looking back now…that time is nothing more than a long faded away scar.

And all thanks to a kid who thinks washing clothes is a waste of time, telling his twin sister who’s better at knitting than I’ll ever be, that there's a better way to get through the future than denial or trying to hide away in fear of it.

So yeah…there’s my corny story, lmao. 6 years ago today, I watched Gravity Falls for the first time…and 6 years on…it’s still one hell of an amazing show and life lesson.

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