#however because of the *nature* of mummies it's VERY hard to tell when someone's been stitched back together during life

[rudjedet]

I'm on the tail end of physical therapy for a broken leg that required surgery. It made me wonder if there was anything interesting in Ancient Egyptian medicine that you'd read about treating broken bones.

Oh, certainly! Ancient Egyptian treatments for broken bones were very similar to our methods nowadays - that is, they splinted and immobilised fractures after reduction. The treatments for a broken jaw and a broken nose in the Edwin Smith Papyrus (the largest collection of surgical treatments among the medical papyri) are in fact the exact same a few millennia later. For a broken nose in particular, the physician put two rolls of linnen moistened with oil into the nasal passages to keep the shape of the nose intact after bandaging and during healing. Nowadays, we use vaseline gauze the same way.

There's an interesting case in the ESP where the practice of a closed reduction is actually described. This is case 35, a fracture of the clavicle:

You should prostrate him [on his back], [with] something folded which is in [between] his shoulder blades. You should spread out his two shoulders in order to stretch apart his two clavicles until that fracture falls into its place.

This is, again, a practice that has changed very little over time. Interestingly this case does also describe a splinting, but a splinting that seems incongruent with the actual type of fracture:

You should then make for him two splints of linen, and place them, one of them to the inside of his upper arm, and the other to the under site of his upper arm. You should bind it with imrw* and treat him afterwards with honey every day until he recovers.

That would have done very little to stabilise the clavicle. However, the next case, number 36, deals with a fracture of the humerus. This case first details a reduction, but that reduction is the exact same as the preceding one in case 35, just with the term for humerus substituted for the term for clavicle. A fractured humerus is normally set through the use of traction, and then splinted in the way described in case 35.

Nunn, among others including myself, is of the opinion that this is a scribal error where the splinting for case 36 was appended to case 35, and the reduction for case 36 was incorrectly copied from 35.

But overall, lots of evidence that nothing much changed about the setting and treatment of broken bones!

*We haven't been able to precisely determine the meaning of the ingredient imrw so far. As a term it's only found in the ESP and it is likely some type of mineral ingredient since it's written with the determinative for mineral substances. Nunn suggests it may be an equivalent of plaster of Paris used for splinting as we do nowadays, which would be supported with the phrase "you should bind it with imrw" in case 35. I don't agree with that, not only because "bind it with [x]" sees common use elsewhere for any number of poultices and bandaging in the medical papyri, but also because imrw is used in the treatment of other cases that don’t deal with fractures, such as case 15; a slashed cheek with damage to the zygomatic bone. The Grundriss der Medizin der Alten Ägypter simply lists it as "an unknown mineral substance". Brawanski wants to read it as an "astringent bandage" with the note that the determinative could be ambiguous, so he suggests a reading of a bandaging with metal shavings. Meltzer renders it as “alum(?)”, based on similarities to the Coptic term for alum. Personally, I think it's likeliest a mineral/metallic substance, one that possibly inhibits bacterial growth, akin to e.g. red ochre, and which was used in bandaging and poultices.

Good luck with the rest of the physical therapy and rehab! Surgery-requiring fractures are a nsw.t=f m pH.wy=s

[official-weasley]

Headcanon time (Part 4)

I can't believe I am back! I have been away for such a long time (almost 2 months since I posted any of my content I have been told) and I missed writing so much (even though it felt good to take a break too) so I decided to return with a Charlie HC since I love writing these and it's something lighter to come back with 💙

Nobody’s going to tell me that with the amount of knowledge Charles Weasley possessed about animals that he wasn’t invited to teach Care of Magical Creatures at Hogwarts.

It wasn’t something Charlie ever thought about doing – even though there were moments when he reached his fifties when he wondered what will he do if he ever gets too old for dragons. Just the thought sent shivers down his spine but he had to at least think of the possibility.

Charlie Weasley loved his job more than any of the Weasley siblings loved theirs. He was proud of every scar and bruise he had and he worked hard to get to where he is. He blew people in the Sanctuary away on the first day of him working there because they haven’t had such a talented lad in quite a while.

Everybody wanted him on his team and even though he was quite a popular sibling in the house he couldn’t deny that the amount of attention and praise he got from his co-workers felt nice.

He loved working in the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary – so much so that when they offered him a job in both Chinese and Swedish Sanctuary he turned them down. Not that he didn’t like working with Chinese Fireballs but he liked his variety of dragons more – always said that it kept things interesting being surrounded by so many breeds.

With that being said he did not expect to get a letter one morning from his former Head of House (now Headmistress).

He stared at the closed envelope for a minute more than necessary and no matter how much he tried figuring out what she could possibly want from him he couldn’t and the curiosity got the better of him.

He breezed through the letter, his eyes stopping at the signature just for a moment before flicking back up to the beginning so he could read the letter – slower this time – as he couldn’t believe what he was reading.

Hagrid has taken his first proper vacation and they need someone to fill in for him for 2 weeks?

And out of all the amazing teachers and acquaintances the school had the Headmistress thought of him? But he only knows about dragons? Like REALLY knows. He is knowledgeable about every creature in the book but he isn’t confident about teaching about them.

He never taught anything in his life – maybe a newbie here and there but that’s different!

Charlie tossed the letter in a drawer in the hopes that he would remember to reply to Professor McGonagall in the morning and kindly decline her offer.

Of course, the opposite happened – he couldn’t sleep all night!

The question Charlie was puzzled with was why? Why couldn’t he stop thinking about the offer he got? He loved his job. He loved his routine. He loved his peaceful life in nature surrounded by creatures he adored since he was a kid.

Why would he go to Hogwarts again? He had nice 7 years there – there was nothing to complain about – but he would be lying if he said that he missed the place. Being in his books most days he didn’t have that many friends and the ones he did have disappeared after the war or he lost contact with them so nothing was connecting him to the place.

Perhaps it’s a thrill of something new?

To do something else.

Or maybe to share his knowledge?

Charlie’s favorite professor was Silvanus Kettleburn and he will never forget him. He remembers when he asked Ron about him but Ron replied that Hagrid is teaching them instead. Charlie was intrigued and wished he had the time to attend one of Hagrid’s lectures – his little brother, however, wasn’t so impressed.

He loved to listen to Hagrid and only Bill knows that he was probably Charlie’s best friend while at school. If Hagrid went for a vacation and Charlie was the next best thing – he couldn’t even imagine what an honor that is.

Hagrid!

That’s it! He wants to take the job for Hagrid’s sake – so he can take a proper vacation!

Without thinking twice about it, Charlie stood up and replied to Professor McGonagall. It’s only for two weeks, how hard can it be?

Charlie decided to take the Hogwarts Express to the school – purely for nostalgia and definitely not because he doesn’t like apparition.

The second the train conductor told him that they will arrive in 10 minutes Charlie’s nerves started to kick in.

This was a mistake! Who was he kidding? He can’t be a professor. What if the students don’t listen to him? Or worse –what if they laugh at him or mock him?

The work in the Sanctuary might be difficult at times but at least everybody minded their own business and they never laughed in his face if he made a mistake. But these are students – teenagers – he can’t deal with teenagers, he doesn’t know how!

A carriage was waiting for him at the station and brought him to the castle where his former Head of House greeted him with one of her special smiles. He knew that she appreciated him coming on such short notice and that she couldn’t wait to see how Charlie will do.

She kept saying what a wonderful job he will do and how excited the students are for Hagrid’s temporal replacement and how happy she is that she got such an amazing person for the job.

He, however, couldn’t share her enthusiasm. Charlie didn’t see the qualities she saw in him and couldn’t imagine how could he – with zero experience – be a good teacher.

Charlie thought of expressing this concern but he liked McGonagall too much to wipe that soft smile off her face.

“Will I sleep in Hagrid’s hut?” Charlie asked as they were making their way to the part of the castle Charlie never managed to explore.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Mr. Weasley. You will be staying in the teacher’s quarters. You are getting a nice room with a fireplace and a living room.” McGonagall replied and pointed to the door ahead of them.

Charlie was appreciative of the room when he saw it but he couldn’t help but be a bit sad that he can’t stay at Hagrid’s. Charlie wasn’t big on socializing so staying away from other professors and away from the chatter of students in a small hut seemed like a dream.

It didn’t matter that he had a nice room or a very comfy bed. Charlie woke up feeling like a mummy. He couldn’t sleep at all, the nerves kicking in, and it was even worse when he remembered that he didn’t even have a syllabus or any idea what he is about to teach in his first class.

On Monday morning McGonagall calmed his nerves at breakfast and told him that she prepared a list of topics for every year so that he will feel more organized.

Year 3 – Porlocks

Year 4 – Werewolves

Year 5 – Pixies

Year 6 – Dragons

Year 7 – Demiguise

Charlie’s chest felt lighter when he realized that he knew loads of fun facts about all these creatures but he couldn’t help but be the most excited about teaching sixth years about dragons.

He had one hour before his first class to prepare an introduction for Pixies and then talk and teach about them for 2 hours. It seemed like an eternity to talk about a creature like that for 2 hours and since Charlie was never a smooth talker or good at making small talk he began to feel nervous again.

He tried to remember how he was like when he was in his fifth year but failed. He knew that he was nose deep in the books Kettleburn gave him about dragon care but he doesn’t remember much else than that.

Charlie’s legs have never felt so heavy walking down for his first class. He was seconds away from just giving up and going to tell McGonagall he can’t do this when one of the students called for him to wait up.

He stopped walking and turned around to see a girl running toward him. She introduced herself and started asking him questions about the creatures they are going to study. Without letting him answer her first question she bombarded him with the next one about the Dragon Sanctuary and then started to name every creature she is fond of.

This calmed Charlie’s nerves – knowing he had a student just like he was in his first class.

After his second class of the day, he couldn’t believe how amazing the students were. Charlie couldn’t recall his classmates being so interested in Care of Magical Creatures as he was but fourth and seventh-year students were more than happy to listen to him talk about werewolves and demiguise. They also asked loads of questions and didn’t complain at all when Charlie gave them a bunch of homework.

Waking up the next morning, he felt rather confident in his ability to teach. He had nothing but a pleasant experience so far. The professors and students have both been so nice and he couldn’t help but think that he overreacted. Being a professor wasn’t so bad and perhaps if the day comes when he won’t be able to handle dragons anymore he might apply to work here full time or if Hagrid will still work then at least as his assistant.

Charlie was on his way to the last class of his second day. He met every year students except the sixth years. He was walking down the path with a big smile on his face and his chest was filled with confidence – dragons – he has to talk about dragons!

“Good afternoon, students, my name is Charles Weasley and I am your substitute professor until Professor Hagrid returns. We are going to talk about dragons today. Can any of you name 5 breeds of dragons?”

“Aren’t you a Dragonologist, you name the breeds!” One of the students said after a few seconds of silence.

“I am and I know all the breeds that’s why I am asking you.” Charlie wanted to swallow thickly but he also didn’t want to appear weak in front of the first rude student he had.

“Seems to me that you’re avoiding the topic. Are you a fraud?” The student kept pushing.

Charlie couldn’t believe it. The class he was most excited about and it didn’t go well! He looked around, all eyes on him. He won’t let this student ruin this experience and the ability to learn about dragons from a real Dragonologist for everyone else!

“Fine,” he said softly. “Ask me anything you want to know and I will answer. If I get one question wrong you are free for the rest of the lesson. If I get all of them correct you will write a summary of every breed of dragon – half a parchment each – and get detention for talking back at me as you did. Does that seem fair?” Charlie wanted to smirk, a look of triumph on his face, but he had to stay professional.

After a minute of silence – half of the students looking at Charlie and half at the boy who dared to talk back at a professor – they bombarded him with questions.

Charlie answered every question correctly from how many known species there are to how long do the Antipodean Opaleye’s eggs need to hatch and without having to think for 2 seconds about the answer.

The students stared at Charlie in pure awe and admiration and he couldn’t help but notice that even the boy that tried so hard to bring him down on his second day of work looked impressed.

Charles Weasley left that class with his chin high up, feeling confident for his next day, happy and humbled that he took this opportunity and with a student put in detention.

Doing all that in one day, he was now even more sure that he could do this and even though he missed all his dragons back at home in Romania, he couldn’t help but admit that this was a rather nice pace and change of scenery from what he is used to and perhaps – somewhere in the distant future when he will lose a hand and a leg like Kettleburn – he might see himself working like this every single day.

[wizkiddx]

a father and daughter

I don't normally hop on the whole dad!tom thing, but this idea kinda popped up and wouldn't leave me alone. Hope everyone is having a lovely festive period and wish you all well in the new year x x x

Summary: Tom really struggles to get into the parenting thing, and finds it tricky balancing work and his relationship with baby daughter

Tom loved being a Dad. It had only been a couple of months, meaning your baby girl was still very much a baby - yet still he had no doubt, this was the best job one could ever ever do. To be honest he was quite regretting agree to the few work commitments he had started to ease back into too. It wasn’t like he couldn’t afford to go these months without work, which not many had the luxury of saying - but in this industry work agreements were lined up years before and he was never one to disappoint. 

Of course, as soon as you both had found out you were expecting, he’d withdrawn from the big filming project across the world but that didn’t mean he avoided the odd week of press, or a couple days flying abroad for fittings and meetings. By absolutely no means would you ever class him as a slightly ‘absent’ dad, you completely understood and when he was home did way more than his fair share with Amelie.

But Tom felt guilty and he felt like he was inferior to you in parenting ability. And you knew that was for one reason and one reason only. He did not have boobs. 

You were well aware that as much as you loved Amelie needing you so much and so often - sometimes being the only person able to soother her - was because all she wanted was to drain you of milk. She was clearly going to be a Daddy’s girl, and who could blame her when her Dad was Tom. But for right now, a mere 5 months old - she loved you because she loved your tit. 

The first time you had noticed Tom’s growing frustration was right after his first evening work commitment since her arrivel, he’d been on a UK chat show earlier in the evening and as encouraged by you, had taken the opportunity to have a few drinks after with his brothers and friends. By no means did he return late, barely midnight, but he did return just a little tipsy. You were still up choosing to have a little movie night to yourself, whilst Amelie slept in the Moses basket next to the couch. Just before Tom got back though, she had woken up and for no reason was the smiliest little girl. So when Tom let himself into the front door, he was greeted with the sound of Amelie’s little bubbles of laughter, while you spoke in baby language - pulling ridiculous faces and laughing with her. 

“Someones smiley” Tom laughed as he plopped down on the sofa next to you, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head and wrapping his arm round your shoulder as he smiled at Amelie. 

“Aren’t you Meelie? How was the show love?” You asked, as you held Amelie in a sitting position on your thighs so she was staring at you both. 

“Hmm it was nice, couldn’t make myself stay for too long though… just missed my girls.” His voice was a little rough, something that happens after talk show and then almost shouting over the obnoxiously loud music in the pub after. Amelie, laughed again at his words, almost taunting her Dad’s attachment to her, making both of you burst out laughing. She already had you both wrapped round her very little finger. 

Shaking your head, you passed her over to Tom muttering needing a wee and made a quick escape. Ever since you had her, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave her unattended - meaning you had almost made your kidneys explode holding in a wee waiting for Tom to get back. Yet as soon as you made it out the door, the bubbling innocent laughter turned into screams - but at that point you’d already made it out the doorframe - marking that as Tom’s issue to handle. Unfortunately the wails continued, very very loud and proud, and when you returned Tom was pacing slowly around the lounge with a grimace on his face as Amelie screamed into his shoulder. 

“I’ll stay up with her if you want.” You offered, knowing Tom without sleep and having to listen to her racket all night would have an impressively worse hangover tomorrow. 

“No I got it, think she needs a change.” Tom countered, even though you were pretty sure she wanted a feed, since it had been a good couple of hours from the last. He noticed your hesitance and shooed you out the room “I got it love, you’ve had her all evening.” 

“You know where I’ll be” You smiled lightly, leaving them downstairs as you got ready for bed.

It was after about 10 minutes of thrashing about guiltily in your otherwise empty bed, you gave in to the still continuous screaming. Amelie clearly was just hungry, even if Tom refused to admit it and bring her to you. So with a deep sigh you gave in, swinging your legs over the side of the bed and trudged downstairs. Tom was still stood up, taking gentle bouncing steps as Amelie apparently tried to deafen him. Once he saw you, with a defeated look, Tom offered her to you. Instantly, as if you just had the ability to turn the crying switch on her off- Amelie stopped crying and blinked away the tears in her eyes, whilst waiting patiently for you to offer her your nipple. While you were busy trying to get her to latch on, you just caught Tom muttering something as he trudged up to bed without so much as a good night. 

Then a couple months later a similar thing occurred. Tom had been away in New York for 5 days, a little press stint that he had under no circumstances been able to get off. At first all had been well but two days since he returned, Tom insisted you finally had an evening out with the girls - to be honest, after spending the best part of a week alone with Meelie you graciously took it. Oh, and also of importance for context, Amelie spoke her first word while he was away… Mama. 

You’d left that morning, your best friend taking you on a spa day before - so by the time Tom called you at 11 in the evening, he’d spent a good portion of the day with Amelie vehemently denying to do anything at all apart from yell- yelling “NO MAMA.” So fair to say he was pissed. You answered the phone with a soft smile, honestly finding spending this much time apart from Amelie really hard and guilt-inducing. 

“Hey Tom everything okay?”

“Um when do you think you’ll be back?” He spoke straight and to the point, clearly not in the mood for small talk. 

“I don’t think too long, is everything alright?” His tone made you so much more concerned,  now worrying that something had happened. 

“No no everything’s fine. Just… just been a long day.”

“Okay well I’ll be back soon I promise. I love you.”

“Yeh yeh um you too” He didn’t mean to be short. Nor to make you worried. He didn’t hate you - far the opposite, he hated how much Amelie loved you. 

If he was being honest, he just felt like a bit of a failure of a father. As a child himself, Tom had always been incredibly close to his mum and thought the typical rule was mummy’s boys and daddy’s girls stood. So why then, did his child appear to absolutely detest him with every look. Especially because, given the nature of his job, once Tom went back to actually shooting films again he’d be around much less - and that the relationship between him and Amelie would at least be geographically strained. Unrequited love is always the worst and ultimately most painful, especially when it involves your own child. 

This underlying and unspoken tension fizzled away for a decent amount of months and Tom went on his first job. At this point you were no longer breastfeeding, but still you knew that purely instinctively if Amelie was ever scared, upset or unhappy she would seek you first. It was bloody obvious to you that she did love Tom, she chuckled away like no tommorrow when he played with her and spun her round the room. And yet, you could still tell Tom wasn’t completely convinced and still seemed , just a bit aware and hesitant. 

In there ever needed to be any proof though, it must’ve been how stroppy Amelie got once Tom left. In short, for you, it was hell. You ended up constantly wearing Tom’s t-shirts, not for you but because the mild but lingering scent of him seemed to soothe Amelie when she was fussing. She would never giggle like she did when her silly Daddy was here to be her personal comedian. She had, however, finally learnt how to say Dada - which now she was shouting impressively at every point apart from when you tried to film it. She was a little devil, its like she knew exactly what to do to make you life as hard as possible - keeping you dealing with an unhappy Tom. You tried to tell him, when you were on FaceTime each evening - but no matter how many times you promised, it seemed that Tom had a hard time believing you. 

He was filming in Germany, which meant it wasn’t actually ‘that’ far from your London home and after two weeks he flew back for a weekend. You were incredibly excited- not just to seeing Tom, which of course you where; but also ,hopefully, for him to feel some sort of assurance in his ability as a parent. He needed to see her, Amelie needed her Daddy and you… you needed a rest. 

That evening, you had had her balanced on your hip as you rushed to make the house look somewhat presentable (because single parenting was not easy) but Amelie had thrown a fit so with a slightly immature passive aggressive comment to your 11 month old daughter you put her on her play mat and carried on. It was a bit of a risk if you were quite honest, she was more than just a crawler - she perfected the art of bum shuffling and was starting to on occasion try to stand up. But you were in the same room so surely little harm could come to her in the ‘over-the-top-ly’ baby proofed living room - Tom’s doing of course. 

So keeping one eye on Amelie and the other on the almost terrifyingly big stack of discarded toys you set about tidying up. It was all going swimmingly until your thoughts about how on earth you were going to hide all the crap were abruptly interrupted with a garbled screech of “DADA!”

You instantly whipped your head round to watch Amelie stumble and basically throw herself the couple of steps to the doorway where Tom stood. You had absolutely no clue how long he’d been standing there but that was all insignificant watching him sweep you little girl into his arms, before she could career to the floor (headfirst of course). His eyes were bugging out of his head, as she giggled and laughed in his strong grasp before astutely throwing her head into the crook of his neck, demanding to be cuddled by him. 

It was almost hilarious, how utterly shocked Tom looked at the real life proof that his baby girl had missed him. Once he met your eyes he used the hand supporting Amelies back to point at her in a questioning manner, making you roll your eyes at just how oblivious and stubborn he is. 

“She’s missed her Dad!” You smiled, as you walked toward him and pecked his lips. “You got this down here if I finally get some peace upstairs?” 

Because yes, you’d missed your husband and wanted to spend all night wrapped in his arms. But really? There was a more important way the evening should pass, finally Tom getting his moment with Amelie. So without so much as even a ‘how was your flight’ you left the two in the living room - you making a beeline to the bath, for just a moment to yourself. 

It was perhaps even a little shocking to yourself that you were so confident you could leave them alone for the evening. Because really, if Amelie started acting up suddenly again, this could be where Tom’s confidence as a dad goes from ‘ropey at best’ to ‘non-existent’. Except you were so certain in the fact that just wouldn’t happen. If she was hungry she’d take the bottle from Tom (which she never did from you without arguement ). 

And so you had possible the most relaxing time in the bath - actually alone for the first time in two weeks. 

It wasn’t until you quietly walked down the stairs two hours later that you got a bit suspicious of the silence downstairs. Cautiously you peered your head round the doorframe and you didn’t even try to stifle the beaming smile spread across your face. Because there was your husband, lying semi-reclined on the arm of the sofa, his arms wrapped protectively round Amelie who looked incredibly content snuggled up to her dad at last. They were both fast asleep and the sight was just so sweet it actually hurt your  heart, meaning only naturally you had sneak a picture of them both. It was infuriating how you knew you had to wake him up - it is a little irresponsible to leave her lying on top of him on the couch and you kinda wanted to cuddle up to Tom this evening too. 

So with a gentle touch rubbing and down his right arm it only took a moment or two till he suddenly blinked his eyes open, eyes looking quickly between your eyes and Amelie - his grasp on her had instinctively tightened a little.

“Hey” You whispered softly, watching him notice how calm Amelie looked on his chest.

“Mhmm hey.” His voice was slightly croaky, probably from the exhaustion of two weeks of hard work. 

“You guys friends then?” You whispered while combing your ginger nails though Amelies little curls at the base of her neck - she was most deifnetly a Holland. 

“She did really miss me?” Tom asked, still half not believing as he shuffled up on the sofa so he was sitting more upright. 

“To the point she had me wrapping the pillows in your unwashed t-shirts.” You giggled as his bottom lip pouted into a visible ‘awh’. 

“Come on lets get you both to bed.” 

Without much complaint, but keeping her in his arms, Tom nodded and followed you up to bed. But that night instead of getting your way and having Tom cuddling you, he pouted until you let him lie Amelie down in the middle of the bed between you two . 

But seeing the way he grinned at her in the dark, almost fighting to stay awake as he looked at her, the prospect seemed a lot more attractive. 

And that was more than fine by you.  

[runenc03]

Four

Writing date: around October 2020, I think? Not sure tbh, lol

Genre: fluff

Warnings: no warnings! :)

Word count: 3.1k 

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The first time you saw him with a baby was in the hospital. You were four, nestled in your mum's lap beside your godmother's hospital bed. You watched with big eyes as your godmother gave her second - barely one day old - son to her firstborn, who took his little brother eagerly but gently, making sure to support the baby's head at all times just like his mum had told him to do. You smiled, he suddenly looked so big in comparison to the small baby in his arms.

"They grow up so fast"

That was your mum, complaining to your godmother - her best friend since kindergarten. Your smile morphed into a grin as she put one of her arms around you, rocking you from side to side, as if she was trying to shrink you to match the little baby in your best friend's arms. Needless to say, she failed miserably. You were a big girl after all.

"Tell me about it. They're already going to school! Not that it isn't nice to see them grow up, but, well, I missed having a baby in the house. As hard as it is, it makes me feel so empowered, taking care of such a small miracle..."

Your mum nodded, a nostalgic gleam in her eyes. You smiled too, knowing you'd been that baby for your mum, a long time ago of course. The baby in your best friend's arms started fussing, not quite crying but not as happy as possible either, and you recognised the fleeting panic in your best friend's eyes. It was the same look he'd had when the teacher asked him to show his teddy bear to everyone - you knew he was very protective of his stuffed friend and only wanted to share it with you. Your godmother quickly took the baby from her oldest son's arms, naturally taking him into her arms, and started breast feeding him. Your best friend moved as well, crawling through the hospital sheets to get closer to his little brother once again, placing a kiss on his forehead, as if to say sorry for whatever he'd done wrong.

As you watched the scene in front of you, you heard your mother's 'aww', but your smile faltered a bit. The kissing on the forehead was something exclusively for the two of you, or so you'd thought. Was he going to forget all about you now that he had his own personal playmate at home? Were you going to become just another girl in your class he was scared he'd get cooties from? He'd always assured you that the two of you were an exception to that, claiming it was because your mum was his godmother and vice versa, or something like that.

You decided you'd seen enough for now and wanted to take a nap. Turning your head to the side, you readjusted your head to lay on your mum's chest, closing your eyes and - after checking to make sure no one was paying attention to you - sucking on your thumb before slowly falling asleep.

You weren't sure how much time had passed since you fell asleep, but when you woke up, your godmother was asleep and your own mum was scrolling through her Facebook feed on her phone. You rubbed your eyes, trying to push away the last remnants of sleep in them, and focused on your best friend. He was still sitting cross-legged on the hospital bed, looking every bit as energetic as he did whenever the two of you ate a bit too much sugar. Again, his gaze was turned to the baby, a small smile playing around his lips. You decided with a frown that you still didn't want to talk to him, stubborn as always. You closed your eyes again, pretending to sleep.

"You know, buddy, mummy says you'll have to learn to walk first, but as soon as you can, I want to take you with us on our adventures. 'Us' is my best friend and I. She's sitting here as well, you see? Our mum is best friends with her mum, just like I'm best friends with her. She's my best friend though, so you can't be her best friend, I'm sorry, but you can play with us! She's the best in playing tag, oh and also in telling stories! You should ask her to tell you a story sometime. Mum also told me it'll take a while for you to be able to speak, but I can ask her for you if you want to..."

And as much as you tried to fake being asleep, your smile won.

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The second time you saw him with a baby was on an indoor ice skating rink.

Okay true, he wasn't holding a baby, but you were both sixteen and he had grown so tall over the years that everyone looked like a baby in comparison to him. You were no exception to that by the way, but you'd never admit that in his presence. About a year ago, your town had decided they wanted to present themselves as a place where all children could grow up in peace while having fun, and so they came up with the idea to organise little holidays for kids. Your best friend had instantly loved the town upon learning that they still needed young adults to go with the kids as supervisors. He'd bugged you for weeks, claiming it would look just as good on your resume as any other thing you, as a responsible teen, had planned to do during the holidays, and so you found yourself living the first day of said holiday, on an ice rink, surrounded by exactly 19 kids, a dumb grin on your face because you were having way more fun than you originally anticipated.

You were shaken out of your stupor by a little girl tugging at your gloved hand to get your attention. She pointed towards the large clock hanging above the ice rink, and you were reminded of your promise to buy everyone a hot chocolate at 4 pm. Your best friend had shaken his head a little, trying to let you know that you were an idiot for giving kids hot chocolate in summer, but you'd just shrugged your shoulders, a provocative smile around your lips.

"Just because you had to vomit that one time we each drank an entire bottle when we were 8, doesn't mean it's a safety risk for every child."

You took the girl's hand with one of your own and whistled to let all the kids know you were taking a break from skating. The result was 18 kids bolting to the door of the cafe connected to the ice rink. 18 kids, your entire group except for one. You turned around after counting them, looking to see where your last kid had gone to. They were normally all very quick to gather around you upon hearing your whistle.

"Don't worry, we're coming!"

That was your best friend of course, yelling from the other side of the ice rink. You noticed suddenly that this was the first time you'd actually seen him interacting with one of the kids today. Before, you'd been so busy learning names by heart and organising everything that you hadn't paid attention to how good he actually was with them. You felt a weird move in your stomach, like a tingle quickly shooting through it, but you decided to ignore that.

The 19th kid out of your group - her name was Alicia - couldn't ice skate. Her posture was awkward, her legs wobbly, her face the same as yours that one time your best friend had convinced you to go on a rollercoaster with 4 consecutive loops. You honestly felt sorry for her, although you expected that the panicky look in her eyes would soon be gone because you thought your best friend would just pick Alicia up, she probably didn't weight more than the ice skates themselves.

You raised a brow when he crouched down to whisper something in her ear instead of carrying her to the other side of the rink. You watched intently, seeing a small smile slip onto Alicia's face, her hand grasping onto his as firmly as she could. And then, very tentatively, she let her right foot glide forward. Then her left, and the right one another time. Her smile broadened, before quickly slipping away because she started swaying on her feet again. Your best friend immediately reacted though, steadying her on her feet and saying something that sounded a lot like "don't give up!"

You suddenly knew what you had to do. You started yelling to Alicia, clapping in your hands, sending encouraging words her way, and soon all the other kids followed, cheering on their friend. The closer Alicia got to the group, the bigger both the sound echoing in the rink and the smile on her face.

Once Alicia reached the other kids, she got tackled into a group hug, and your heart warmed at the sight. This was only day one and they were already such a close-knit group.

A soft hand on your shoulder and a warm breath on your ear made you focus again.

"I believe someone deserves some hot chocolate."

You were about to rub in his face that your idea had been brilliant, but the words were stuck in your throat when you finally looked at him.

"You are brilliant."

His eyes twinkled, and you knew you wouldn't be able to stop the heat from residing in your cheeks for the rest of the day.

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The third time you saw him with a baby was in your neighbor's house. In this case, you had just turned 20 and the baby was more of a toddler, but you didn't want to ponder the details: it was cute.

You were actually supposed to be studying for your exams, but your best friend had asked you if he could come study with you, and foolishly you had agreed, convincing yourself you'd be able to motivate each other. What started as a study session transformed into a pillow fight, and, when your neighbour called you to ask if you could come over to look after her toddler, it ended up being a babysit date.

You looked at the clock above the fireplace, already getting a headache at the prospect of having to study all night in order to keep up with the schedule you had sworn to follow. If it had been up to you, you would've just been honest with your neighbour. She liked you a lot and wouldn't have minded if you'd just honestly told her that you were in the middle of your exams. Your best friend, however, had immediately agreed to babysit, telling your neighbour that the two of you would take good care of her baby. Truth be told, the woman's relief had been visible on her face, and it did make you feel good to take care of someone else.

"Hey buddy, it's getting late, and your mummy told us to get you in bed on time. What about this: we go get you ready for bed now and if you're quick enough, I'll read you a bedtime story. How does that sound?"

You watched your best friend almost being knocked down by the eager boy. As the toddler ran to the bathroom on his chubby legs, your best friend threw his head back in laughter, dimples in his cheeks. Your stomach did something strange, as it usually did nowadays whenever you were in his presence, but you ignored it. You had to focus on the little one now, you could dwell on your emotions later on.

Your best friend's strategy worked. Within a quarter of an hour, you'd managed to put on the little boy's pyjamas, brush his teeth, go to the toilet with him, and get him into his bed. You tucked him in, making sure all his stuffed animals were in the right place as you did so, and giving him a kiss on his forehead.

"Are you reading a story for me?"

You chuckled, and you heard a lower voice behind you match yours. He came up to you and your young neighbour then, a gigantic book in one of his hands. You swiftly noticed the veins on his under arm, and turned your head, forcing yourself not to get distracted. You weren't even together for God's sake, you should actually be able to keep yourself in check.

"Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away from here, there was a dinosaur called Inky. He was the most beautiful dinosaur you could ever imagine, with big, blue eyes, green skin and two gigantic wings. Inky ..."

Your eyes took in the scene in front of you, your small neighbour watching your best friend intently, eyes wide with wonder, sometimes giggling a bit when the story was particularly funny or when the narrator imitated Inky the dinosaur.

By the time Inky's adventure was over, the toddler had already fallen asleep, his breathing evening out, a content look on his face. Making as little sound as possible, you both tiptoed out of the door, keeping it ajar in case the little one wanted to come to you.

As you sat down on your neighbour's couch, your best friend wrapped an arm around you, and you leaned into him. You didn't say anything, it wasn't necessary. A new episode of peppa pig started on tv, and you stared up at him. His eyes stared back, full of unspoken promises.

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The fourth time you saw your best friend with a baby was in your own house. Today was actually supposed to be all about your 25th birthday, but your party had ended up being about something entirely different, although you wouldn't have traded the day for something else even if you could have. You had started the day off together by preparing some snacks for your guests, but those preparations had quickly come to a halt as you'd gotten a call from the adoption agency, stating that some things had shifted rapidly, resulting in you being able to bring home your baby that exact day. If everything would go smoothly, the baby would be officially your child within a few weeks to months. As exciting as the day had been, it had also been tremendously exhausting, and so that's how you found yourself waking up from your slumber on the couch, your watch telling you it was only 9 pm. Embarrassingly early. When you let your eyes travel further than your own wrist, the first thing your vision fell on was the mass of congratulations cards scattered on the table. Oh, how people had probably stressed themselves out, trying to find a different kind of congratulations card last minute. You grinned, a warm feeling you could only identify as true happiness spreading in your chest.

A gurgling sound made you look to the left, your smile unfolding completely now. Sitting in the armchair was your best friend, holding a baby with dark, curly hair in his arms. The baby was staring at her dad with big eyes, as if trying to drink in as many details as possible, learning every crinkle and dimple by heart.

She was claiming him as her dad.

Your best friend didn't need to look away from his daughter to know you had woken up. He simply brought one hand to the baby's stomach, slightly tickling her there, and her small gurgling sounds intensified, her legs wiggling as if trying to get away, but not having enough strength yet.

"Look darling, mummy is awake. Now I need to share you again."

His face morphed into a fake pout, and the baby, your baby, stopped her gurgling, trying to figure out why her dad suddenly wasn't smiling anymore. Too late, your best friend realised his mistake, but his attempt to cheer her up again was to no avail, she started fussing, and even though you'd never done this and she had come way sooner than you had anticipated, you knew that that wasn't a good sign.

"Give me my daughter please, I missed her."

Your best friend handed her to you, and you gently bounced her in your arms, kissing her little forehead. Instead of going back to sit on the couch, you went to your dinner table, now morphed into a congratulations card holder. You sat down on one of the chairs, turning your daughter around so she had a good view of the table herself.

"You see that sweetie? All for you, all those people already love you! Isn't that nice?"

You traced her cheek with your finger, and she grabbed onto it with her fist. You observed how both of your skin colours contrasted. Though that was only a coincidence seeing as children of all skin colours got adopted, you loved it, loved the variety of it. While your skin might not match your daughter's in colour, it matched in beauty.

On the other side of the room, soft snores were coming from your best friend's lips. That's right. After all these years, he was still your best friend. Not just your best friend, but not more than your best friend either. To you, he had always been a special someone, you had always loved him, from the day he had been your friend in kindergarten to your partner and the father of your child now.

At the end of the day, those names were only labels, a way for society to put feelings into boxes. The thing is, feelings aren't made to be put into boxes. Love is love, and there are different kinds of love, yes, but one isn't necessarily less important than another. You loved that man just as much now as you had as a toddler, the feelings had just evolved, you had moved several boxes, and now fit into 'family'. Or maybe not entirely, your skin colours didn't all match, after all.

You grinned. Your daughter would grow up knowing the concept of love. Not in boxes, but in all its beautiful, overflowing, free glory.

[wanderchyld]

More PBIO/IOTNBO Theories

Read my theory on Do Heejae and Head Nurse here

Again, note that if I quote anything, it might be a mix of Netflix’s subs and my translation because I know Korean and Netflix tends to miss nuances sometimes so I sometimes ignore their subs or change it another language.

Is Moonyoung an orphan? Probably.

Moonyoung has mentioned twice that she’s an orphan, and… I think she really might be an actual orphan adopted by Go Daehwan and Do Heejae. (Ahem, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz’s Dorothy is an orphan too.)

In ep 1, she told Juri that she’s an orphan and she knew that. Juri replied, "But your mother is alive," before Moonyoung interrupted that she registered her death a long time ago.

Considering that they were friends and fell out before Moonyoung transferred schools (I assume due to her mother’s death and her father landing in the hospital), Moonyoung definitely didn’t confide in Juri about what happened to her parents. Juri didn’t know Do Heejae died. Then how would Juri know Moonyoung’s an orphan if Moonyoung meant she became an orphan from Do Heejae’s and Go Daehwan’s soul’s deaths? Moonyoung probably told Juri she’s an orphan when they were still friends.

In ep 11, Netflix subbed her words to Sangin as "Family? I’m an orphan," but the original words are actually, "Family? I’m originally an orphan." Dun dun dun~

Someone (I forgot who and when) said Go Daehwan built the house to celebrate Moonyoung’s birth and for his wife to focus on her writing. Only Moonyoung knows the accuracy of this information. In ep 6, when Moonyoung told Sangtae the Bluebeard story, she voiced over a flashback of Go Daehwan showing a woman around the house (which strangely looked already lived in, completely furnished and decorated with full shelves), but her stomach was flat and they were not carrying a baby. She was also wearing heels; no pregnant Asian would wear heels even in the first term.

Now, let’s take a look at Sangtae’s collection of Moonyoung’s books. (He has 2 copies of Moonyoung’s bestsellers or his favourites of her books! 1 for keeping and 1 for his drawings. How cute is that ❤️)

Left to right: "The Boy Who Fed on Nightmares", "The Anglerfish’s Grip", "Even If It’s Money, Oh? Mummy", "The Ugly Dog’s Child", "The Girl Who Rode The Wooden Horse", "The Cheerful Dog"

Technically, 머니머니해도 어? 머니 (Even If It’s Money, Oh? Mummy) translates to Even If It’s Money, Oh? Money but “어? 머니” is a play of words on mother. When you put these 2 words together, it’s 어머니 or mother. The cover also has a mother and child to confirm the word play.

Why isn’t it "Oh! Mummy" and not "Oh? Mummy" like they’re unsure about the mother?

Back to ep 1, Sangtae was playing an ep of Dooly.

The particular scene played was of a conversation between Dooly and his guardian Go Kil Dong, where Dooly said he decided he would love Go Kil Dong.

The point: Dooly’s an orphan and he loves Go Kildong. Moonyoung told Sangtae, in ep 9, that she likes the character Go Kildong too.

There have been some mentions that Moonyoung looked like her mother and that she’s as beautiful as her. But maybe Moonyoung’s birth parents are beautiful too? Lol

Moonyoung’s obedience and abandonment issue

Moonyoung has always known she’s an orphan. When a child is adopted, it is natural they feel insecure and become afraid of being abandoned. Balmain’s creative director Olivier Rousteing mentioned an interview that he was adopted and grew up with a lot of love from his adoptive parents, but he still had that insecurity and was afraid they would send him away so he worked very hard to be good since he was young.

Moonyoung must have felt the same, and I’m betting Do Heejae used abandonment against little Moonyoung so she would be obedient to her.

What else could cause excited little Moonyoung to be mean to Kangtae in a split moment with her mother? By that age, most kids would have felt comfortable talking back to or disobeying their parents even just a little, and the parents would allow it sometimes (even my 4-year-old cousin started at 3). But little Moonyoung couldn’t even assert herself.

There have been hints that Moonyoung has abandonment issues and it is embedded in her brain that children have to be obedient to their parents or they would be abandoned.

1. What she said to Kangtae in ep 3 caused Kangtae to be got offended by her objectification, however, it really reflects on what she thinks about the parent-child relationship.

“Children dump their parents when they pass their expiration date and reek a rotten smell. Parents embrace the children who often behave cutely, and dump the stupid and useless child.”

(These are Moonyoung’s actual words. I know Netflix translated differently but this explains better why Kangtae was so offended he had to get off the car.)

2. In ep 7, Director Oh read Go Daehwan’s files to look into the family’s relationship. In one session, he mentioned that Moonyoung was obedient to her mother.

Had insomnia for 3 days. Said his daughter is so scary he couldn’t sleep. Then he smiled and described his daughter as pretty like her mother. Seems to have ambivalent description of daughter. When asked if his daughter is good-natured, he questioned whether a daughter who is obedient to her mother is good-natured. When I answered I’m not sure, he doesn’t say anything and stared out the window. . . . Session ended as he looked tired.

So obedient that if her mother told her to do bad things, she would do it.

3. She felt abandoned when she learnt Juri didn’t want just one friend.

4. She has a book (The Ugly Dog’s Child) named after The Ugly Duckling which is about a baby swan born into a family of ducks that felt unwanted by practically everyone (ducks, geese, etc.) before a bevy of swans accepted him.

Fun note: The Ugly Dog’s Child is a wordplay. Just remove 1 character and it's The Ugly Son of a Bitch. 😆

Go Daehwan’s deal

Here are some things Go Daehwan has said about Moonyoung and Do Heejae.

To Juri in ep 1:

“If Moonyoung comes… die.”

This could be interpreted in 2 ways:

He would die because Moonyoung would kill him. (Juri’s interpretation)

Moonyoung would die.

This scene comes after the horrible dad tried to kill his daughter thinking it would protect her. This insinuates that Go Daehwan tried to kill little Moonyoung to protect her.

To Head Nurse:

“She’s so pretty, just like an angel. Moonyoung’s mother.”

To Director Oh:

“My wife? She’s very intellectual and elegant. She loved our daughter terribly. Very terribly.”

A conversation with Director Oh:

Go Daehwan: She’s the same as that woman. Everyone’s deceived by that woman. A devil lives under that angelic face.

Director Oh: Every human has good and bad traits.

Go Daehwan: That woman is a monster. She killed someone. I’m telling you, she killed someone. Director Oh: Where is that monster?

Go Daehwan: I killed her. I’m sure I killed her but she came back. She came to kill me. She’s going to kill me.

Go Daehwan’s condition corrupts his memories, so he has been mixing Do Heejae and Moonyoung up. This condition may have caused him a mental breakdown too when Moonyoung was little. 

Earlier, Director Oh suspected Go Daehwan strangled Moonyoung at the hospital because he mistook her for someone else (Do Heejae).

Park Ok Ran told Head Nurse that Othello killed his wife because of a misunderstanding.

I’m guessing…

Do Heejae found out she killed Do Heejae so he killed her.

Moonyoung was seen by the lake with a woman drowning. Maybe he thought Moonyoung was the culprit.

He realised Do Heejae was grooming Moonyoung to be a mini-me, so he tried to kill her to release her from Do Heejae’s clutches and prevent her from becoming worse. (Remember he questioned whether a child is good-natured if she was obedient to her mother.)

The Anglerfish’s Grip might be based on Do Heejae’s obsessive control over Moonyoung.

End.

I have no idea how this links to Head Nurse aka Do Heejae’s sister if it’s true.

I have another theory but let’s see what happens in this weekend’s eps 😅

Random note: The Anglerfish’s Grip was a little hard to translate. 손, 아귀 directly translates to "hand, anglerfish" but when the 2 words are read together, 손아귀 translates to "grip." The book cover has an anglerfish (the book Kangtae picked up in ep 1 in the meeting room) so I translated it as The Anglerfish’s Grip.

[tigerkirby215]

5e Alistar the Minotaur build (League of Legends)

⚠️ WARNING: THE FOLLOWING BUILD USES CONTENT FROM THE MYTHIC ODYSSEYS OF THEROS SOURCEBOOK. DO NOT OPEN IF YOU WISH TO AVOID SPOILERS. ⚠️

(Artwork by Riot Games)

Wow is Alistar’s champion title really just “the Minotaur?” Like damn I know he’s an old champion but other old champions have titles like “the Dark Child” or “the Frost Archer” or “the Barbarian King.” Calling Alistar “the Minotaur” is like calling Yasuo “the Wind Sword Guy”, or calling Blitzcrank “the Robot”, or calling Amumu “the Sad Mummy.” ...Wait...

GOALS

Pulverize - Alistar’s an old champion with a very simple kit. Hit people, hit them some more, and hit them a third time for good measure.

Trample - The bull has a lot of CC at his disposal with tons of ways to keep enemies at bay.

Triumphant Roar - Ali’s main “supportive” mechanic is the ability to heal himself and his allies in the middle of a teamfight.

RACE

This may be surprising to hear but Alistar is a Minotaur, which is a race in Guildmaster’s Guide to Ravnica but I suppose it got reprinted in Mythic Odysseys of Theros. Your Strength increases by 2 and your Constitution increases by 1. You have Horns that you can use for an unarmed strike that do a d6 piercing damage instead of the bludgeoning damage of a regular punch, and if you dash 20 feet in a straight line you can make an unarmed strike as a bonus action with Goring Rush.

Most notably as a Minotaur you get Hammering Horns: Immediately after you hit a creature with a melee attack on your turn you can use a bonus action to attempt to shove that target with your horns. You can push the target up to 10 feet away from you unless they succeed on a Strength saving throw. The creature can’t be more than one size larger than you and has to be within 5 feet of you.

You can also speak, read, and write both Common and Minotaur, and get your choice of either Intimidation or Persuasion proficiency thanks to Imposing Presence. Of course we’ll be choosing Intimidation but feel free to opt for Persuasion instead if you think it will be more useful.

ABILITY SCORES

15; STRENGTH - You’re a big bad bull whose powers include punching people, headbutting people, and stepping on people... not like that.

14; CONSTITUTION - You’re a tank as well as a support, and Constitution is required for tanking.

13; CHARISMA - You’re a big scary purple monster, and while you could probably convince your DM to be intimidating with Strength Charisma is a requirement to multiclass.

12; DEXTERITY - Not the most in-character since Ali is a slow dude, but DEX is required for AC.

10; WISDOM - You smack people a bunch; you don’t ask them about their feelings. Wisdom could help you with Animal Handling though since you are an animal.

8; INTELLIGENCE - You smack people a bunch you don’t read books.

BACKGROUND

Alistar’s backstory has been through the wringer so many times which is to be expected of an older champion. But apparently now he’s an Outlander seeking vengeance for his tribe? Regardless you get Survival proficiency but I’d actually recommend swapping the Athletics proficiency for Animal Handling since we can’t get it elsewhere, and it makes sense for the cow to be good with animals. You also gain proficiency in an instrument and a language of your choice. Again whenever we make warrior types I always recommend Drums, because I doubt those big hooves can play a lute.

Your background feature Wanderer is kinda like Laberintian Recall from older versions of the Minotaur. You can recall the general layout of the terrain around you, and can find food and water within reason. Alistar’s just generally a cool dude; he seems angry but I don’t doubt he’d be willing to help you out if you got lost in the mountains.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - PALADIN 1

Starting off as a Paladin for a variety of reasons. But regardless of the reason you get proficiency in two skills from the Paladin list: take Athletics from your class instead of your background. Any other skill makes sense so pick whatever you think will be useful. (I opted for Insight personally.)

As a Paladin you get Divine Sense, letting you use an action to detect any celestial, fiend, or undead within 60 feet of you that is not behind total cover. You can use this feature a number of times equal to 1 + your Charisma, so twice. For some Relic Shield healing Lay on Hands gives you a healing pool equal to 5 times your Paladin level. You can heal a target you touch for any amount of health as an action, up to the remaining total of your Lay on Hands pool. Alternatively you can spend 5 health to neutralize a poison or disease, because a good support knows when to grab Mikael's!

LEVEL 2 - PALADIN 2

Second level Paladins get a Fighting Style: to remain in-character it would make the most sense to take Unarmed Fighting from the Class Feature Variants UA, but there really isn’t much reason to use your fists over an actual weapon (especially since you have horns) so I’d suggest grabbing Great Weapon Fighting instead. Use a Maul since it’s a heavy weapon that does bludgeoning; so it’s practically like you’re punching them!

You also get Spellcasting as a Paladin: you can prepare a number of spells equal to your Charisma modifier plus half your Paladin level (rounded down) so... not a lot. Bless will let you boost your allies by setting enemies up for them... that’s how I’d flavor it at least. If you want to take things into your own hands Thunderous Smite will let you empowered your next attack to do bonus thunder damage and force the enemy to make a Strength save or be knocked prone. Is your spell save really bad because your Charisma is so low? Yes!

But naturally we’ll be ignoring most of those spells for Divine Smite! When you hit a creature with a melee weapon attack, you can expend one spell slot to deal extra radiant damage in addition to the weapon’s damage. The extra damage is 1d8, plus an additional d8 for the level of the spell you use. So a level 1 spell does 2d8, level 2 does 3d8, and so-on. Additionally if you hit an undead you do an extra d8 of damage! Fight toe-to-toe with Mordekaiser for a battle of the tanks!

LEVEL 3 - PALADIN 3

Third level Paladins get Divine Health, making them immune to disease, which is good because you’re bound to catch a cold by running around shirtless. (Except you should be wearing armor for now.) But more importantly you get to choose your Divine Oath, and I did say we’d be using content from Theros so... Oath of Glory! As a Glory Paladin you get the Guiding Bolt and Heroism spells innately.

You also get two Channel Divinity options: Peerless Athlete will give you Advantage on Strength and Dexterity checks for the next 10 minutes... and I’m obligated to tell you that advantage on Athletics will let you shove people better to try to knock them over. Inspiring Smite however will let you make a Triumphant Roar when you hit an enemy with your Divine Smite. Roll 2d8 and add your Paladin level: you can distribute this pool of temporary hitpoints among your allies however you wish.

LEVEL 4 - PALADIN 4

4th level Paladins get another Ability Score Improvement: I’m going to suggest increasing your Charisma and your Constitution by 1, putting them both at even scores.

With the increase to level and Charisma you can also prepare more Paladin spells: Compelled Duel is a good way to keep foes close and CCed so your allies can fight them, and Cure Wounds is a good way to keep those allies in the fight!

LEVEL 5 - PALADIN 5

Paladins get an Extra Attack at 5th level, letting them attack twice when taking the attack action.

You can also prepare and cast second level spells now: as a Glory Paladin you get Enhance Ability and Magic Weapon innately. Hit hard and resist any incoming damage!

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 6 - BARBARIAN 1

Okay I know I usually like to start the builds for shirtless characters with Barbarian first but half of Alistar’s skins give him armor, and Paladin levels simply gave us more to work with. Regardless: Barbarians can go shirtless with Unarmored Defense equal to 10 plus your Dexterity and then plus your Constitution.

Of course we’re not just here to go shirtless in Seattle: as a Barbarian you can Rage a number of times per day as shown on the Barbarian class chart. While raging you have advantage on Strength checks and saving throws (which yes our Channel Divinity could also do) and do bonus damage when attacking with a strength weapon. But the most important thing is that you have resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage while raging, meaning that your Unbreakable Will will keep you in the fight!

Note that you can’t cast spells while raging, nor can you concentrate on them. You can still benefit from any spell effects that aren’t concentration though, and more importantly you can still smite! What’s more important though is that your rage will end if you don’t take damage or attack someone for a full round. Beyond that your rage lasts for one minute, so keep in the fray while absorbing every incoming blow!

LEVEL 7 - BARBARIAN 2

Second level Barbarians get Reckless Attack, allowing them to attack with Advantage at the cost of being attacked with Advantage. You know what Advantage means? A higher chance to crit. You know what more crits means? Harder smites, as the smite damage gets doubled! You’ve got the health to take hits, so why not hit them hard?

In addition you get Danger Sense, giving you advantage on Dexterity saving throws against effects you can see. Don’t be a dummy: dodge skillshots you can see coming.

LEVEL 8 - BARBARIAN 3

Third level Barbarians can choose their Primal Path. You’re meant to be a tank so naturally Totem Warrior. As a Totem Warrior you get a Totem Spirit and the Spirit of the Bear gives you resistance to all damage but Psychic. (I suppose you can consider Psychic to be True Damage.) Yup it’s a tank build so of course we’re going Bear Totem Barbarian.

As a Totem Warrior you also get Spirit Seeker, allowing you to cast Beast Sense and Speak with Animals as ritual spells. See I told you the Animal Handling proficiency would help!

LEVEL 9 - BARBARIAN 4

Regardless of your class you get an Ability Score Improvement at 4th level, so with 4 levels in Barbarian it’s time for a... Feat! No not Athlete: I’m actually going to suggest the Resilient feat in Strength this time. You’re a tough guy so naturally you can wrestle toe-to-toe.

NOTE: I opted for Resilient in Strength since it’s unlikely you’ll need to concentrate on spells much. (As you’ll be Raging most of the time.) But if you want better concentration checks feel free to take Resilient in Constitution instead. The last ASI was in both CON and CHA, so you can opt for CHA and STR instead.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 10 - PALADIN 6

With our ultimate in-line it’s time to become the ultimate support! Level 6 Paladins get Aura of Protection, granting allies in a 10 foot radius a bonus to saving throws equal to your Charisma modifier. So again: not much. But it does benefit you as well!

Additionally you can prepare another spell: Lesser Restoration will let you cleanse minor CCs from your allies... or yourself.

LEVEL 11 - PALADIN 7

As a Glory Paladin you get Aura of Alacrity at 7th level, making you and anyone within 10 feet of you move 10 feet faster! Alistar’s a pretty slow boy, but there’s no reason to look a gift horse in the mouth. Maybe you’re not fast; maybe everyone else is just slow?

LEVEL 12 - PALADIN 8

8th level Paladins get another Ability Score Increase so it’s time to cap off that Strength modifier for the hardest hits possible.

LEVEL 13 - PALADIN 9

So you could’ve prepared another spell at the last level but I didn’t mention it because there isn’t much at 2nd level we want. But regardless you can prepare third level spells now! As a Glory Paladin you know Protection from Energy innately for a Knight’s Vow, but much more importantly you get Haste! Buff your ADC, or buff yourself to attack at lightning speeds!

Speaking of ADC buffs: Crusader’s Mantle will give you and all your allies within 30 feet an additional d4 radiant damage on their attacks. You can’t cast it while raging but you can have it up normally to further support the team.

LEVEL 14 - PALADIN 10

10th level Paladins get an Aura of Courage, making it so that you and allies within 10 feet are immune to being frightened. No scarecrow is going to scare you! And you can prepare another spell: Spirit Shroud is an Unearthed Arcana spell that works a lot like Randuin's Omen, slowing enemies within 10 feet of you by 10 feet. On top of your Aura of Alacrity you can easily keep foes at bay, especially since you do an extra d8 of damage (Necrotic or Radiant) to enemies you hit!

LEVEL 15 - PALADIN 11

11th level Paladins get Improved Divine Smite, doing an extra d8 of Radiant damage with all their attacks. Despite the name of this class feature it doesn’t activate your Inspiring Smite feature; sorry.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 16 - PALADIN 12

12th level Paladins get another Ability Score Improvement, so for more tanking increase your Constitution.

Speaking of tanking you can prepare another spell: Aura of Vitality will let you spend a Bonus Action to heal anyone within 30 feet (including yourself) for 2d6 health, for a whole lot of Triumphant Roars.

LEVEL 17 - PALADIN 13

13th level Paladins can prepare 4th level spells. As a Glory Paladin you can cast Freedom of Movement to ignore CC, and Compulsion for some CC of your own.

LEVEL 18 - PALADIN 14

14th level Paladins buy a Mikael's Crucible to use Cleansing Touch, allowing them to end a spell’s effect with a touch. You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier before taking a Long Rest.

And another spell to prepare? Sure! Aura of Purity gives your whole team CC reduction!

LEVEL 19 - PALADIN 15

As a Glory Paladin you get Glorious Defense at 15th level. When you or another creature you can see within 10 feet is hit by an attack roll, you can use your reaction to grant a bonus to the target’s AC against that attack, equal to your Charisma modifier. If the attack misses, you can make one weapon attack against the attacker as part of this reaction, provided the attacker is within your weapon’s range. You can use this reaction a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier. Man this class has a lot of features based on Charisma... shame we didn’t increase it much.

LEVEL 20 - PALADIN 16

16th level Paladins get our last Ability Score Improvement so I’d suggest capping your Constitution for a 20 health increase and maximum tanking!

And you can prepare one more spell at this level: Staggering Smite is perhaps the ultimate knockup, doing a ton of Psychic Damage on a hit and also giving the target disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks for the duration, and it can’t take reactions until the end of its next turn.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Gargoyle Stoneplate - This is certainly a tanky build! Over 200 health and a positive modifier in every saving throw, all on top of Bearbarian Rage to halve all incoming damage!

Locket of the Iron Solari - You also have a lot of support and utility. Inspiring Smite alone grants 2d8 + 16 temp HP to your party, and you have a huge variety of healing spells at your disposal.

Lich Bane - Unlike Alistar in League you can hit very hard! A 2d6 weapon with Advantage and Smites will let you break some skulls. (Side note: if you want to be more supportive try investing in CHA instead of STR to boost your auras and spells.)

CONS

Lord Dominik's Regards - Even with the high Constitution mod your low Dexterity means that your AC is subpar. You may have the health to spare but you’re going to be hit a lot.

Blade of the Ruined King - Let’s talk brains: you’re not good at them. Raging stops you from concentrating on spells, and most of your spells are concentration. More importantly you had to dump both mental stats, and while your saving throws are still okay thanks to Paladin levels you’re not going to be succeeding on any History checks.

Guinsoo's Rageblade - Ultimately while Raging lets you absorb a lot of damage the investment in Barbarian makes this class insanely MAD (Multi-Ability Dependent) and raging can do as much harm as it can help. The requirement for Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, and Charisma means that something ultimately ends up dropped. If you can make this build with Point Buy (dumping the hell out of your mental stats) then it’s great, but with such a low Charisma a lot of your Paladin features end up being subpar.

But you’re the support. If you were good at everything you’d just carry yourself. Keep the enemies at bay and your allies in the fight. If you go down it’s a job well done! Space created! But do your best not to feed, obviously.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

[marril96]

The Distance Between Us

Chapter 22: All Roads Lead to Scotland

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: You and Rowena finally have a heart to heart.

A/N: Huge thanks to @hell-is-empty-the-devils-are-us for medical info on Scotland.

Editor: @miss-moon-guardian

*****

The last day of school, which was usually easy going and lax, had, for lack of a better world, been a mess.

The fight — or rather what was left of it — was officially ended by intruding teachers. The crowd dispersed, students sent on their merry ways. The parties involved were dragged to the Principal's office, each by a separate teacher to ensure the fight wouldn't continue, and their parents were promptly called.

You hadn't seen Crowley for the rest of the day.

Olivette and her posse had started the rumor mill right away. Why wait for the new semester when they could start their work while their memory — well, Olivette's memory for she was the only one of them who was actually there for the fight. Or rather, for its conclusion — was still fresh?

They'd tried to convince the student body that Crowley had attacked Lucifer because he was jealous of his popularity, and had tried to spice it up by adding bits and pieces about his unhealthy, unbrotherly feelings for Rowena, who, the poor dear, was torn between her own loser brother and her popular boyfriend.

No one bought it.

Not a single person.

Not even the usual gossip whores who ate up all the shit they heard regardless of its validity.

Everyone had witnessed the fight and its sequel starring you, Crowley, Rowena, and Olivette, with guest appearances from Lucifer.

They knew Lucifer was abusing Rowena.

They knew Crowley had beaten the shit out of him as payback.

They knew Lucifer and Olivette were screwing around behind Rowena's back, and that you were the one who'd outed them to the entire school.

They all knew, and they are it up like candy, hungry for more, more, more.

You hoped the impending holidays would calm everything down, let the dust settle. Allow for the new semester to be a new beginning.

Being one of the main characters in gossip stories wasn't how you'd imagined your Senior year of high school. Or any part of your life.

You weren't made for that kind of life.

Crowley had texted you later that day. He hadn't said much other than that he was okay and wasn't in as much trouble as he thought he would be. And that Lucifer had gotten his ass handed to him by, of all people, Crowley and Rowena's mother.

Crazy protectiveness seemed to run in the MacLeod family.

From what Crowley had told you, Rowena was okay. She wasn't talking much, but she was okay. Locked up in her room. Away from Lucifer.

For good, you hoped, prayed to anyone — anything — that would listen.

She deserved better than him. Deserved love, kindness, gentleness. Everything someone the likes of Lucifer couldn't provide her for it wasn't in his nature.

He was an animal.

A predator.

He used, took advantage of, abused. Ruined and shattered. Destroyed everything he touched, everything he laid his eyes on, like a savage.

He didn't deserve a girl like Rowena.

Despite telling yourself that it was early, that she probably needed more time, you found yourself on the MacLeods' doorway two days after school had ended. You were freezing, the cold air biting at your skin, seeping into your bones. It was torture, but you didn't let it discourage you from seeing Rowena.

You needed to explain yourself. Needed to tell her why you'd betrayed her, why you'd stabbed her in the back. Needed her to understand the last thing you wanted was to hurt her, even though that was exactly what you'd ended up doing.

You were her friend.

You cared about her.

You loved her.

Her ignoring your messages wasn't going to change that.

At the very least you wanted her to hear your side of the story.

If, after you explained yourself, she still wanted to pretend you didn't exist — if she wanted to cut you out of her life — you would respect her wish. It would hurt like hell, but you would respect it.

But first you hoped with all you had, from the bottom of your racing heart, that she would be willing to hear you out.

Ten minutes.

That was all you needed.

Afterwards, she could do what she wished, no matter how much it hurt you.

Her life, her choice.

Rowena opened after the second knock. Clad in pants and a glittery shirt, she left her bruises (and there were plenty; over her neck, down her arms, more no doubt concealed by the clothing) uncovered. No use hiding them now that the truth was out in the open in all its ugly, unpleasant glory.

"What are you doing here?"

Her tone was curt, stern, straight to the point. Making it clear she wasn't happy to see you, the sentiment confirmed by the narrowing of her eyes.

You swallowed back the hurt, clearing your throat before uttering in your weakest, smallest voice, "I wanna talk."

You understood her anger, understood her disappointment at her friend telling her brother about something she'd shared with you in confidence, but it still stung as if she'd slapped you in the face.

A slap would have surely hurt less.

"Please," you added, noting her raised eyebrow.

Rowena looked you over. Observed you from head to toe like a microscope, taking in every detail, every little bit of you. Then she sighed and stepped aside.

"Thank you," you said, pulling on a smile. Small, tight, but warm enough.

If she noticed it, she didn't acknowledge it. Her face remained cold as the air outside.

Ouch.

You definitely would have preferred to be hit than deal this kind of treatment. At least then the pain would be real, tangible.

This way it just hurt.

Everywhere.

Nowhere.

You supposed you deserved that. Rowena could hold a mean grudge. You knew that when you'd decided to reveal her secret.

It was worth it.

You stood by that sentiment.

Still…

It fucking hurt!

You hung your coat and followed her up. Gavin was standing at the top of the stairs, grinning happily. A little bundle of joy, innocent to the darkness of this world.

"Hi, Y/N!" he greeted.

"Hi, Gavin," you said, flashing him a bright smile. "How you doing today?"

"Okay," he said in that pretend mature voice children put on in attempts to sound older. Silly, but adorable. "Rowena gave me sweeties and she said not to tell mummy!"

"My, what a great sister you have!"

"She's the best!"

She was.

She really, truly was.

Rowena smiled at the compliments. A bit of color splashed her cheeks; not much, but enough to flush them a warm, healthy pink. "Gavin, love, why don't you go back to your room and eat some more sweeties? Y/N and I need some grown-up time."

"Are you going to study?"

"Aye. You know how important that is."

Gavin nodded. Rowena led him to his room while you got settled on the bed in hers. She was so adorable with Gavin. So sweet. It was hard to believe it was the same girl who shouted atrocities at Crowley and joined in on bullying.

Would she still do that?

Would she and Crowley still argue like rabid dogs?

Would her friends invite her to take part in bullying — or would she be their target instead of consort this time?

"So," Rowena said, shaking you from your thoughts. She closed the door behind you and crossed her arms over her chest. "Talk."

You sucked in a breath for courage. "I'm sorry for telling Crowley."

She quirked up an eyebrow, skeptical. "Are you?" Her tone was sharp as a knife, cutting straight through your heart.

"I am."

Well, you thought, kinda.

She scoffed. "Right."

You clenched your jaw. "I am sorry."

You were.

You truly, genuinely — from the bottom of your aching heart — were.

But you also weren't.

Not completely.

Rowena, clever as she was, well acquainted with you after months of getting to know you in this very room, could sense it. Could smell it all over you like badly concealed perfume.

"I know you're mad — you have every right to be — but I never wanted to hurt you," you went on to explain, to elaborate as best as you could for the real reason — the one that made your heart ache with every beat, that tore at your soul like the sharpest knives — could never leave your mouth. She couldn't know that you loved her. That every second from the time you'd found out about what Lucifer had done had been agony, had been fear that burrowed itself deep underneath your skin and wouldn't leave until you knew she was safe. "You have to believe that."

Rowena's eyes met yours for a brief moment before drifting sideways. You made sure to put as much emotion as you could into them, to make it clear that, despite there being more to the story, your reasons were genuine.

"Why should I?"

The coldness in her voice sent a chill down your spine.

"Because I'm your friend."

"A friend wouldn't betray me to my brother."

The nonchalance, however fake — for it was fake, you could tell from a mile away — stung.

"I didn't betray you," you said.

Rowena snorted. Any other time it would have been cute, but now it was just cruel. Unnecessary.

You weren't the villain here.

You weren't the one who'd badmouthed her and had slept with her boyfriend, or the one who'd beaten the hell out of her.

All you'd done was look out for her.

As a friend.

As a…

As something you could only dream of, that could never come to be reality.

"Jesus, Rowena! I just wanted to help you, and you're acting like I killed your mother!"

The words rushed out of you before you could try to stop them, a wild, uneasy storm twisting and turning inside of you, begging to be let out, to roam free. To lash out at her for being so stubborn and refusing to see what was right in front of her.

"I never asked for your help!" Rowena retorted.

A fair point.

Still…

"What was I supposed to do? Stand aside with my arms crossed until her put you in a bodybag?"

She widened her eyes a tad, taken aback. "I can take care of myself."

"I can see that." You got to your feet. Stood to face her. "You know what? I'm not sorry. There. I said it. I'm not sorry I saved your ass because somebody had to!"

If she were affected by your admission, she hid it well. "You couldn't resist the chance to play the hero."

"It's not like that and you know it." You looked her in the eyes. Pierced her with your gaze, intense, pleading. "What if it was me? Wouldn't you wanna help me?"

A flicker of something — understanding? — flashed over her face. It was gone in a split second, features smoothed back to marble coldness. "That's different."

"How is it different?" you asked.

Turning her back to you, she replied, "It just is."

"How? Why?"

Seconds passed, bled into moments. Silence settled over the two of you for almost a minute, loud, deafening. Making it hard to breathe.

You could ask the question a million times — Rowena wouldn't answer. Stubborn as she was, she would never answer.

For the truth was, there was no difference. If roles were reversed, she would have reached out to your loved ones in attempts to save you. She wouldn't have left you to your own devices, especially if you were in danger that could easily turn mortal.

Why couldn't she accept help?

Why couldn't she admit she needed it, needed you, needed Crowley?

Why did she have to be so damn stubborn?

Unless it was about more than just pride. Unless she—

No

It couldn't be.

That wasn't Rowena.

Was it?

The girl you knew knew her worth. Had the world under her feet and let no one and nothing stop her from getting what she wanted.

But there was more to that girl, wasn't it? There was the kindness you'd gotten to know, a clear contrast to the meanness. The sweetness. The patience. And that was just the part of her that lived here in this room, all alone, far away from the world where she had to be cruel to survive.

Which part had she left in Scotland?

What were you missing in the puzzle that was Rowena Macleod?

"There's nothing wrong with accepting help, Rowena," you said. "It doesn't make you weak."

More silence.

Then, in a tight, strained voice, "I don't need your pity."

That was what she thought? That you pitied her?

"It's not pity," you said in a tone you hoped came across clear. "I was just being your friend."

"Right." Disbelief. Pure, unadulterated skepticism.

It hurt. You thought she knew you better than that. "I am your friend, Rowena. I'm sorry that I hurt you, I really am, but if I had to do it again, I would." You set your jaw. Clenched your fists to subdue the anger that flashed through you, hot as fire. "I'd rather you hate me than keep getting hurt."

Rowena whipped around to face you, her eyes like daggers stabbing into yours. "Och, save the drama for the stage!"

"You think I'm lying?" Your voice trembled, betrayed the hurt that ripped at you like a thousand knives. "I'm not! I—"

I love you.

The words froze in your throat. Stopped in their tracks as if someone — something — had grabbed your neck and squeezed, hard, bruising.

You couldn't tell her.

She couldn't know.

Not now.

Not ever.

Breathing in deeply, you asked, "Why is it so hard for you to accept that people care about you?"

"Because they don't!" Rowena snapped, eyes glistening with tears she tried her hardest to hold back. "Nobody cares! Caring is weakness. Love is weakness."

What?

"You don't believe that," you said, more to yourself than her. A plea, weak, lowly, that you'd heard wrong. That it was a misunderstanding.

She gave a chuckle, a bitter one. "Darling, if you got to know the real world, you would believe it, too."

"What does that mean?"

"It means…" She sucked in a breath, willed herself to calm. "It means people are arseholes. They say they care, but they're lying."

"I'm not lying."

You would never lie to her.

Not about something this important.

She narrowed her eyes. Looked deep into your hurt ones. "You're lying to yourself."

"Is that what you want?" you challenged. "Would it be easier for you if I was liar? Are you that stubborn?"

"Don't you patronize me, lass!"

"Hit a nerve, have I?" Features softening, you asked, "Who did this to you?"

That took her off guard. "What?"

"Who made you distrust people so much? Someone had to."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Who was it?" you insisted. "An old friend? Boyfriend? Who was it that made you so cold?"

"You don't know anything about me!" Rowena shouted, defensive.

You were on the right track, then.

"I know you're not a bitch. You pretend, but you're not," you told her. "I know you're a good friend. A good tutor. That you like shitty old movies."

That prompted her to chuckle. "My movies are works or art," she said, head raised high.

"If you say so." You let out a chuckle or your own, then continued, "You like weird glittery clothes and matching makeup. Somehow you make it look—" sexy "—awesome."

She smiled. "Well, I am quite awesome."

"You totally are." And I love you for it. Oh, how you wished she could know! "What happened to you?"

Rowena's smile withered. She glanced to her feet, avoiding your eyes.

"It's okay," you said softly. "You can tell me."

Tears spilled down her face, dripping onto her bare toes. Step by careful step, she lowered herself on the bed.

"You're right — there's lots of things I don't know about you," you said, sitting down next to her. She looked at you and you wanted to weep for there was so much sadness in her eyes, so much pain that it hurt — it physically hurt — to sit there, unable to do anything to make it go away. Unable to help her when she clearly needed it. "But I'd like to know. I'd like to know everything about you."

"Why?" she asked, suspicion — cautiousness — creeping into her tone.

"Because I'm your friend," you said for the umpteenth time, and were willing to say it as many times more. You were willing to shout it from the rooftops like a maniac — anything for her to get it in her thick head that what you felt for her was genuine. If she only knew how much. "I want to understand you."

Her cheeks flushed at your admission. Carefully, tentatively, she asked, "What if you don't like what you hear?"

"I liked you when I still thought you were a bitch," you reminded her, prompting a small chuckle. "I'm sure whatever it is I don't know won't change my opinion of you."

Nothing she could possibly say would change what you thought of her. It wouldn't change your feelings, wouldn't change the shift in the beats of your heart whenever you came near her. Wouldn't change the tingles that shot through you every time your hands touched, or the rush that came over you whenever she gave you that big, encouraging smile and accompanied it with a compliment.

Whatever had happened — whatever had been done to her — could, if anything, only make you love her more.

Rowena fell into silence for a moment. When she spoke up, her voice was cold, distant. As if someone else were telling the story and she was nothing but an observer, an overly invested listener. "It happened back in Scotland."

You gave a small nod. "Crowley told me you were bullied."

Well, that it was a possibility. He'd never outright confirmed it, but you could tell he'd had his suspicions.

She laughed bitterly. "He doesn't know the half of it."

You'd figured as much.

"I wasn't very popular," she started her story. "I wasn't popular at all. People either pretended I didn't exist or mocked me." A flicker of pain flashed across her face for a split second; an old, never healed wound reopening, sprinkled with salt, bleeding profusely. "They thought I was pretentious because I did ballet."

"That's ridiculous," you said.

Ballet — any kind of dance, really — was art. Beauty and grace and power all in one.

Children could be cruel little bastards.

"To them it made perfect sense," Rowena said sourly. "I used to love to dance. But, as I got older, I started resenting it because it put a target on my back."

That's wrong, you thought, heart clenching with sympathy. Very, very wrong.

They had no right to do that to her.

"It wasn't just the ballet," she elaborated, taking a short pause to breathe. "They thought my nose was funny."

You thought it was beautiful; crooked and a tad hooked, unique in the masses. Peculiar. One of a kind. A lovely, perfect little imperfection.

"My family was poor. We couldn't afford the best clothes. Sometimes my mum made clothes for me. They were good clothes — they weren't rags — but I still stood out."

"I think it's awesome that your mom made you stuff," you said.

"She's very skilled," she admitted with a tinge of pride. "Compared to other girls, I was quite plain. Boys weren't interested in me."

You wanted to tell her it wasn't true, that, if there was disinterest, it was their issue rather than hers, but allowed her to continue.

"They still touched me. My arse. My boobs. Everywhere. To 'give me a taste because I would never get the real thing.' The girls thought it was funny. They spread rumors. I became the school's slut before I even had my first kiss."

She wrapped her shaky arms around her chest protectively, the memories, fresh again, eating at her like acid. Devouring her alive one little bit at a time.

You wanted to hug her. God, you wanted to hug her. Wanted to wrap your arms around her, hold her tight, and never let go. Wanted to tell her it was okay, that what had happened was their shame, not hers.

She was just a girl born into misfortune, too shy, too clumsy to take on such a big world.

Those people took advantage of that.

If anyone should feel bad, it was them.

"By the time I was in eighth grade, I was sick of everything," Rowena said. "I couldn't take the it anymore. All I wanted was to be liked. I thought, if I could get them to like me, maybe things wouldn't be that bad."

Her jaw tightened. A lump bloomed in her throat; she swallowed it, gulped down hard.

"There were these three siblings. The Loughlins; Catriona, Boyd, and Gideon. Boyd and Gideon always groped me with Catriona's blessing. Everyone gave me a hard time, but those three were the worst. They were popular. Their family was mad rich. They could do whatever they wanted without consequences; no one dared cross them. One time we were alone in a classroom and…"

Her breath hitched. Tears spilled from her eyes like a downpour. A sob threatened to rip free; she swallowed it, willed it back.

"It's okay," you said, laying a hand on her shoulder. A soft, comforting gesture. "It's okay."

She relaxed under your touch. "They were bothering me again and I… offered myself to them." More tears. "I-I just wanted them to leave me alone. I thought if they slept with me, they'd see I'm not that bad." A sour chuckle. "They laughed. Boyd was considering it, but Catriona — she told him it would be cleaner with pigs."

Anger burned at you, red hot, dangerous. You wanted to find those three, grab their necks, and squeeze until they released their very last breath. Wanted to punch them, kick them, hurt them the way they'd hurt Rowena.

They had no right.

Everything they'd done to her, every rumor, every taunt, every unwanted touch — they had no right.

"They told the entire school. Now I wasn't just a slut — I was a prostitute. Everyone started offering me money. Some of the richer kids threw it at me. It was unbearable. And then… then I met Gilroy."

A smile blossomed on her mouth, a sad one, one of longing, of memories that, while painful, hid bits of good in them.

"He was rich. Popular. And he was interested in me. The first boy ever to find me attractive."

First boy with taste, most likely.

"He was Catriona's boyfriend, but that didn't matter to me," she admitted. "I was mad at her and I thought of it as revenge. He was so charming. He promised to leave her 'when the time was right,' and, like a fool, I believed him."

Uh oh.

You didn't like where this was going.

"We'd had three wonderful months together. I loved him with everything I had, and he said he loved me. Then, upon our fourth month, I noticed I was late."

"What?" you uttered, surprised.

"I bought a test. It was positive."

"You were pregnant?"

"Aye," Rowena said, hands instinctively sliding down to her stomach. "I was terrified. I was only fourteen; I was too young to be a mother. But, I thought, if Gilroy wanted the child, we could work it out somehow. I wasn't the first teenager to fall pregnant. It would be difficult, but it wasn't impossible. We loved each other. That was all we needed, right?"

The smile faded from her face, light dying from her eyes in place of glum darkness.

"He didn't want the child. He didn't want me, either, anymore. He thought I'd done it on purpose, to trick him into giving me money. I tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. He said, if I told anyone, he would deny it and no one would believe me. And he was right. Who would believe the school whore that she was impregnated by a popular rich boy who already had a girlfriend?"

You squeezed her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "It's fine. It's in the past now."

Years may have passed, but she was still hurt. She was still suffering. What that boy had done would stay with her for the rest of her life.

"That same day I went to the clinic," she said. "Got it taken care of as soon as possible."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"No. Aside from him, and now you, no one knows I've ever been pregnant."

She'd had an abortion at fourteen.

Alone.

Without a friend to hold her hand.

Without family to support her.

Your heart ached for her.

No wonder she'd turned so mean.

Nobody wanted to be around her.

Those who did took advantage of her.

Love had made her week. It had fooled her, took everything from her. Turned her life inside out.

"I was terrified I'd need my mum to sign papers, but law is different there," Rowena said. "Nobody had to know unless I wanted them to."

"Thank you for trusting me with it."

She looked at you, eyes big and so, so green. Sad and beautiful all at once. "You're my friend."

"I am."

If only you could be more.

But, after what you'd heard, after what had happened with Lucifer, you knew she needed time.

It was too soon.

Maybe it always would be.

And you were okay with that.

You could love her from a distance and be her friend for just because the feelings were there didn't mean you had to act on them.

Rowena came first.

Her wellbeing came before your wishes.

"I won't tell anymore," you assured her. "I promise."

"I know." She gulped. "Now do you understand why I couldn't leave Lucifer?"

"You don't need him, Rowena," you told her.

"I do," she said. "Without him and Olivette, I'm nothing. Like I was back in Scotland."

"That's not true." She raised an eyebrow. You sighed. "You weren't popular — so what? They bullied you, and that's on them. You didn't do anything wrong."

"That doesn't matter"

"It does. They took advantage of you."

"And I took advantage of Lucifer and Olivette." She spat their names as if they were dirty, foul.

"Doesn't mean they get to treat you like shit. Those assholes in Scotland had no right, and neither do these two."

Rowena closed her eyes, then, upon opening them, breathed deeply in and out. "What else can I do?"

"Tell them to fuck off," you said, loud and clear. "You're not alone anymore. You have me, and Sam, and Crowley. We're not gonna let them hurt you."

She flinched at that. Her eyes sparkled, brightened up with a new light that lit up within them. A reflection of her soul, healing, hopeful.

"This isn't Scotland, Rowena," you added, allowing your mouth to curl up into a smile. "You have friends here."

"You really mean that," she said in disbelief. You nodded, and she gave a small, self-deprecating chuckle. "Fool."

"I'm willing to take the risk."

You trusted her that much.

She wasn't perfect, far from it, but she was loyal. A good friend. A good person behind the mask she'd put on to protect herself from the evils of the world.

There was potential in her. Opportunities that would do her good, change her life for the better.

All she had to do was take them.

Her face suddenly darkened. "They will turn the school against me."

"They can try," you said, confident. Lucifer and Olivette had influence, but not to that extent. "They're not that powerful."

"They'll make my life hell."

"Again, they can try." Your hand slid down her arm in a soft, gentle caress before taking hold of hers. You squeezed her fingers, wrapped yours tightly against them. Tightened them into a knot, unbreakable, comforting. A wordless promise that you were here, that you wouldn't let them or anyone else lay a finger on her ever again. "I won't let anything happen to you."

She startled, surprised. Looked at you as if you'd just admitted you were in love with her. "You won't?"

"Nope. Think of me as your security guard."

She glanced you over and, teasingly, said, "You, a security guard?"

"I'm tougher than I look," you said in mock defense.

She quirked up an eyebrow. You shrugged, nonchalant.

"What if I don't need your… services?" She purred the word, licked her lips as she uttered it.

Your insides turned to jelly, fire burning hot in your veins, lighting you up from the inside out. Boiling you alive.

That accent.

So thick.

So delicious.

Almost,dare you say it, enchanting.

Damn.

"What if," she continued in that same playful tone, "I can take care if myself?"

"Doesn't hurt to have backup, does it?" you told her.

"I suppose," she conceded.

"Good girl."

She flashed a smile; a big, bright one, straight from the heart.

It was the most beautiful sight in the world.

"Don't worry," you said. "It'll be okay. We'll be okay."

"If you say so."

You knew so.

The bullies back in Scotland had only gotten away with tormenting her because she was alone. She'd had no one to turn to. No one to wrap her in a hug and tell her how amazing she was. No one to have her back.

Here, she had friends. She had you.

And you wouldn't let anything happen to her.

Never again.

If Lucifer, Olivette, and their little entourage thought they could bully her, they were wrong.

They may have gotten away with treating her like shit for over three years, but that ended now.

She wasn't their property.

Wasn't their little plaything.

Wasn't their doll to use and abuse as they saw fit.

She was a person.

The girl you loved.

And you would do everything in your power to protect her.

"I'm proud of you," you said.

Rowena frowned, taken aback. "Whatever for?"

"For telling me everything. For not putting up with Lucifer and Olivette's shit anymore. That must've taken a lot of guts."

Her cheeks flushed bright, ripe red.

You grinned.

Then, without thinking it through, you threw your arms around her and wrapped her in a hug.

Rowena froze. You could feel her heart pounding against your chest as you held her, could feel it speeding up, running full speed. Her body was warm against yours, skin soft, tender.

Home.

She felt like home.

How could anyone hurt such a delicate creature?

How could they bruise her?

How could they think it was okay?

Holding her, you wanted nothing but to protect her. To keep her like this forever, safe in your embrace. Far away from school cliques and hierarchies. Just… yours.

Only yours.

God, you loved her!

"You're so fucking awesome!" you said, when all you wanted to say was, I fucking love you!

"Aye," Rowena said, a tad coquettish. Teasing. "That I am, dear."

Her arms slipped around you, returning the hug. Reciprocating the tightness, the protection.

You melted into it. Gave yourself away to the sensation, to the feel of her against you. To the warmth that radiated off her as if she were the sun, your system's brightest star.

Your lifeline.

Your everything.

"Thank you for trusting me."

She offered no reply.

You held each other in silence, for what must have felt like hours. Just sat there and held each other as if your lives depended on it.

Maybe they did.

Maybe nothing else mattered except the two of you.

A girl could certainly dream.

*****

Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @victoriasagittariablack @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @gaysnakess @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @tasyahilker @a-queen-and-her-throne @carryon-doctor-lock

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Imagine being Caius and Athenodora’s human, adopted child (Twilight)

Dark themes ahead!

Athenodora had jumped upon the opportunity when she found out a baby had been abandoned on the hospital doorstep in America. It was easy enough for Carlisle to bring the baby to Italy when Athenodora insisted that she took the baby in. Carlisle agreed with one condition being that they didn't make him regret it since he was risking a lot to give the baby to them without suspicion.

Athenodora sat in the back seat of the black car, her hood covering her face, the tinted windows up as Caius walked around the car to meet Carlisle. After five minutes, her door opened and Caius passed her the baby.

She smiled softly at the small, pale baby in her arms. They were at peace, their big eyes looking up at her, fist in mouth. A moment later, Caius got back in the car as the car started up. Caius leaned over slightly to see the baby in his mates arms. "They already have a name. (Y/N)." Athenodora smiled down at the baby as though she had finally found the answer she had been looking for.

You were smart. Too smart for your parents liking. You were nine when it occurred to you that vampires couldn't have children. That spurred a question in you about your very existence. You played with your fingers, nervous as you were lead further into the throne room by Demetri, who had his cold hand on your back, pushing you forward to see only your father and Marcus in the room. Caius' index finger was to his lips in thought, one leg crossed over the other. He blinked and looked to you. "What's wrong?" He was as blunt as ever, getting straight to the point. He was never in the mood to beat around the bush and especially not when his child was visibly upset. Tears welled in your eyes, you couldn't bring yourself to ask. This made Caius shift in his throne, uncrossing his leg and taking his finger from his mouth to beckon you. You sniffled as you approached him, knowing you couldn't escape the situation now. "Hm?" Caius asked you, smoothing your hair and his gaze flickering to you every so often. "(Y/N), I'm talking to you." Caius said firmly and immediately you shoved your head passed his hands and into his chest. Your hands grabbing his shirt centimeters away from his jacket. You shook your head and Caius pulled you closer to him and rubbing your back before lifting you so that you sat on his leg. He leaned back against his throne and maneuvered your legs across both of his so that you sat comfortably on his lap. "Tell me, my sweet." "Vampires can't have children." You mumbled. He hummed. "That's right." Caius didn't seem to understand where your train of thought was leading. 

You were used to both of your parents being so still that they were like statues. They didn't breathe and so their chests rarely rose and fell with each breath. However, it was a completely different matter when you felt almost every muscle in Caius' body stiffen at your next words. "So how did you have me?"

You remembered it well, Caius put you down, took your hand in his usual cold, tight grip and walked you to where your mother sat in the tower with Aunt Sulpicia. You thought you had made him angry but looking back it wasn't anger in his hard expression. It was worry. After many stairs to the tower, he said nothing and gave his wife a look that told her she was needed. They took you to their bedroom and sat you on their bed. In hushed whispers, Caius filled her in but all you saw was your mother's expression change to one of sadness and concern. "Mummy..." You said quietly and their attention was back to you. Athenodora nodded at Caius and moved to sit on the bed in front of you. Caius sat behind you, so that he could hold you to his chest. His arm looping across you and then he planted a kiss to the top of your head. "Sweetie, I'm really sorry but I don't think we can tell you many details. You're far too young to understand. However, we can give you an answer to your question but you need to understand that the answer doesn't change anything and that we love you very very much. We always will."  Athenodora reached to hold one of your hands that were on your lap. "You're right, vampires can't have children which does mean that I didn't birth you." "You're... you're not my mummy?" "Yes, I am sweetie. It just means that you weren't in here." Athenodora patted her stomach. "You were a few days old when we took you in." "Where was I before?" Athenodora looked sad, it hurt her that you had asked. She hated that it was on your mind. "I'm afraid you're not old enough to know." "Why?" A tear ran down your face, more threatening to come. "Because I fear that it may change how you see the world and I don't think you're ready to know yet." "Please, tell me..." Your voice cracked as you began to cry. "No, sweetheart." Caius said softly, pulling you closer to comfort you. "Can I ask you a question, sweetie?" Athenodora shifted closer. "You can ask me." You nodded. "Why do you want to know so bad?" "Because it makes me think it must be something horrible and I don't want to." You wiped your eyes with your sleeve. "It isn't horrible. I promise and I'm so sorry you're in distress...that you're hurting. You know mummy and daddy are right here. You can tell us anything." "How are you my mummy if I wasn't in your tummy?" You sobbed. "(Y/N)," Athenodora took your wrists. "you're my baby. You will always be my baby. I've looked after you since the very start and that's what a mother does. You don't need to have been born to me to be my child. You're mine because I love you, have cherished you and looked after you for all these years and will continue to do so. Remember that I told you that this doesn't mean anything and we don't love you any less than we did before. We're still your parents." Athenodora kissed you on the forehead, lingering slightly to contain her own emotions and more importantly, drive the point across. She then pulled you away from Caius slightly to hug you close to her. She sat you on her lap, one hand holding the back of your head and the other across your back. Her eyes moved to Caius'. They both stared at one another with built up emotion. "I'm so sorry you're hurting, baby." Athenodora said quietly. The three of you stayed quiet for a moment. "It's eight thirty right now. How about we put on your pajamas and we'll get to bed and watch some cartoons?" Athenodora pulled back to look down at you. You nodded slowly. "Okay." She muttered to herself as she rose to a stand, hoisting you up, your legs wrapping around her waist. She carried you out the room as you rested your head on her shoulder, gripping her long blonde hair with one hand and giving a tired wave to Caius with the other. Caius blew you a kiss in return with a reassuring, gentle smile but stayed behind. The sight shattered his heart. You looked tired and hurt and he'd do anything to fix that.

Athenodora was able to distract you momentarily with a playful nature, lightly tickling you as she helped you change. She pulled back the duvet before spinning with you on her hip making a 'whooshing' sound as well as a squeal with her mouth. The action made you laugh a little and she lowered you down to the mattress. "I trust you know how to work the television because I most certainly do not." You giggled as you got up to turn on the TV. You got to watch TV a couple of days a week for an hour or two, maybe three if everyone else was busy and you were only allowed to watch cartoons on it.

When you were back in bed, Athenodora pulled the duvet up to your armpits as you turned on your side to see the TV. Athenodora's arm curled around you, interlocking her fingers with yours whilst the other hand brushed your hair from your face. You didn't notice Caius in the doorway, smiling at the sight.

You were laying on the cold, stone floor, on your stomach. You were never really the same after that conversation. You couldn't stop thinking about what kind of situation you were in before they took you in and it was a lot to learn that they weren't your biological parents. It took you a lot of your teenage years to forgive them for the pain you felt. You had no one else to blame but deep down you knew it wasn't their fault and you didn't hate them as you yelled at them consistently. You loved them. You hoped you'd live to tell them that. You hoped that even if you didn't, that they'd know you loved them. It tore at you that you treated them in such away and that it took being kidnapped to see the error in your ways. Caius and Athenodora loved you. They reminded you time and time again that you were their happy ending. The happy ending that was almost impossible before. You changed everything for them and they did their best with everything they had to raise you.

"Remember what I told you, (Y/N)?" Athenodora's voice echoed in your mind. "Yes, mum. Yes, I remember." You said quietly and a tear ran down the side of your face and landing on the stone floor.

"Remember what I told you, (Y/N)?" Athenodora reminded you softly, covering your hand with her own. "I want to give you opportunities that I didn't have growing up." Athenodora said gently as she trailed her fingertips along your smaller hand. "I can't say I remember much but I know what life was like in that time and I don't want that for you." "What does that mean?" Your seven year old self asked. "Your mother was very lucky to have been able to marry your father. I'll tell you when you're older the more details but mummy and daddy loved each other too much to be apart. When you get older, I want you to find someone who loves you very much and makes you happy." Athenodora took a breath. "For now, I want to give you the best education I can give and you're the happiest child in the world." Athenodora tickled the palm of your hand making you squeal.

How long had it been? Days? Weeks? You weren't sure. You hadn't slept. You couldn't sleep. You didn't eat much, not unless desperate. You were cold. Wherever you were kept, it was most certainly abandoned. There was dirt, dust and spiderwebs everywhere and your only light source is daylight outside which was next to nothing right now. It was night time. Judging by the sunlight, if it was a the sun, it had been roughly four days. However, you were given a strong sedative. You'd been there for a while so more specifically, you had been awake for roughly four days.

What was worse than the silence was when your captor, a vampire just outgrown his newborn years, spoke to you. He told you over and over again that it had been days and that no one was looking for you. It began to hurt when you believed him. However, it turned out the worst was yet to come. Your brain couldn't handle the silence to the point it created sound...and company. The other you always sat directly across from you and never stopped talking. "We can't run, or hide, fighting isn't an option, so I guess all we really could do is scream." The duplicate said and you shook your head slowly. "No and go away, I want silence so I can sleep." 'You' scoffed. "It is silent, you can't sleep because it's too silent. The silence is literally booming in your ears." You didn't satisfy them with a response but they continued, as usual. "Don't you think we should be thinking of our options?" "We just did. Screaming isn't going to help." "How would it make things any worse?" "For one, I'll get beaten if I make any noise. Super human hearing, remember? I don't need to be put in a worse situation." "(Y/N)," they said "you are locked in a cell, in the basement, and talking to yourself. How much worse can it really get?" So they had a point. "I hate to be the downer here but... I think I should say what's on your mind seeing as you won't admit it. It's been days. No one is coming for us. If they were, they'd have been here by now." "Stop it." "We really screwed up with what we said." "Don't!"

'I hate you! I'd have been better off without either of you! You're the kind of people who should just have stayed dead!' You didn't mean a word of it yet you felt the real pain from those words. Athenodora looked at you as though you slapped her across the face and Caius barely holding in his rage as he spat out the demand to get out. You wished that wasn't your last words to your parents but they were.

You were weak, you knew this was the beginning of the end. You weren't going to survive this. Another tear ran down your face, your back facing the cell door. There was a racket above you but your captor wasn't the quietest. It sounded normal now. It was better the furniture than you. Your worst enemy, silence, returned. "(Y/N)?" A hushed familiar, female voice whispered and your eyes opened. It couldn't be. "(Y/N)! It's me, your mother." "You're not real, you've been here before." Your voice wavered. "No, honey, look at me, its me!" The imposter gasped before you heard shuffling to the far side of the room and once again silence. Until large footsteps. You squeezed your eyes shut. 

"So tell me, dear (Y/N). What's going on in that little head of yours, hm?" "I'm ready now." You didn't clarify what you meant as a weapon gleamed in the vampires hand. You couldn't see what it was but at this point, you couldn't care. You were grabbed in a cold grip.

"Get your hands, off my child." Athenodora growled and the vampire snarled. Athenodora wasted no time and lunged with a growl, throwing the vampire across the room. With newly found strength you pulled yourself up but your body felt heavy. You heard him being pulled up roughly and moved to look at the commotion but Athenodora was was kneeling down cradling your face his her hands, blocking your view and pulling your gaze back to her. Her hands fell from your face and she pulled you up by the arms. You couldn't find the words to speak. You just looked at her in disbelief. A large cold hand landed on your shoulder and you looked up to see Caius looking down at you. You had lost your ability to say anything in disbelief and relief. "Mu-" you turned to Caius. "Y-You came for me." You said through your tears and hugging him close. You didn't want to ever let him go in case he disappeared. "Of course, I did." He said to you, holding you close. "Let's go home." Athenodora said looking at her only child and husband. Her emotions could wait until they got you to a safe space. 

They got you into the back of a car with them, in between them. Athenodora had pulled you in to rest on her, your eyes half lidded as sleep had finally come for you. You felt her cold hands stroke your face and hair as well as your father's eyes on you. Your eyes fluttered shut, one last memory popping into your head before sleep, your mother's voice reminding you just as she always had.

"We love you, (Y/N). We will always love you."

[thephoenix-hq]

☞ NAME: Remus Lupin. ☞ AGE: Nineteen (03.10.1960). ☞ BLOOD STATUS: Halfblood. ☞ HOUSE: Former Gryffindor. ☞ GENDER: Cis-male. ☞ FACECLAIM: Tom Webb.

+ THE STORY SO FAR +

As far back as Remus could remember, he had been taught to keep secrets. Don’t tell mummy’s frighteningly Welsh family that daddy can do magic. Don’t tell the muggle children in the neighborhood about the wizarding world. He was living two lives even as a child no bigger than four. It was around this time that everything changed, all at once. The small boy didn’t even remember it happening. He had been dreaming sweetly, awoken by the sounds of his mother’s cries and an intense pain he had never experienced before. The smell of tourmaline and the bright florescent lights of Saint Thomas hospital in Southwark surrounded him in a confusing haze.

The scars marring his body healed, but they didn’t disappear into his skin the way they always had before. They remained, though faint, a white imprint on his form forever, stretching and morphing with his growth over the years. The need to keep secrets grew stronger. The family of three moved from town to town, terrified of what might happen if anyone found out about the young boys condition. Despite the love his parents had for him, he was a lonely child. By the time he was ten, he had accepted the fact that it would be a rather lonely life indeed. When Albus Dumbledore showed up on their doorstep that year and convinced Lyall Lupin to allow his son to go to school, a happiness and freedom his sickly child had never known took over. Though once in school, the need to lie returned. Don’t tell anyone about your condition. Tell them your mother is ill and you visit her often. Lie, lie, lie. The three boys he shared a dorm with, however, were far too nosy and clever to fall for Remus’ musings.

They called him out, and for the first time in his life, Remus had given in. He had told the truth, no matter how petrified of the consequences. Naturally, as they would continue to do for years to come, they surprised him with their loyalty. For the first time in his life, Remus Lupin had friends - three people who he trusted and loved beyond his two parents. These were the people he considered on the insides of his walls; his parents, Albus Dumbledore and the Marauders. Over time, Lily Evans found her way in, being too clever for her own good and too close with Severus Snape to not know the truth. He allowed it because even when Snape tried time and again to convince her, she would always play dumb. Remus recognized this and thanked her for it. Once Remus loved, he did so deeply and unconditionally. He saw this as an asset in relation to James, but ultimately he couldn’t help but feel as though it were equally his greatest weakness. He avoided it - the loving - but once he felt it in any form, it wasn’t likely to go anywhere.

-  J U N E  1 9 7 9 -

When Dumbledore asked Remus to join the coalition he created known as The Order of the Phoenix, Remus answered unthinkingly. “Yes.” It felt like he was finally paying back a portion of what he owed Dumbledore. Though the old man disagreed heartily, Remus felt there was no one else more responsible for the happiness and love he acquired during his time at Hogwarts and he would do absolutely anything to satisfy his old professor. It was a loyalty that would never falter. Though there was some concern. Everyone in the organization would have to know the truth about him. He couldn’t keep secrets here for their success depended on their honesty with one another. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Remus would prepare himself to speak his darkest secret aloud to a room full of people he trusted simply because Dumbledore said he could.

←  C O N N E C T I O N S  → 

→ Marlene McKinnon

He called her Magnificent and she, ironically as ever, called him Classic. At the beginning of their sixth years, Remus trudged into a train compartment with never ending ink stuck to the bottom of his shoe. The only person taking up the space until that moment had been Marlene, who was suddenly and painfully fascinated by the nervous, babbling boy making a mess all over the carpets. She poked fun at him in a way that anyone else would think was casual conversation. But Remus knew from the moment she opened her mouth that she was quietly intelligent and dead clever. She reminded him of himself in an instant - soaked in undertones and, to someone as familiar with them as he, keeping secrets. He chose her that day, taking quiet pride in the fact that Marlene was the first person that didn’t force their way into his life, but he decided on his own he wanted to know. That was the beginning of a friendship that would tear them both apart. Due to a fateful prank between Sirius Black and Severus Snape that could have ruined everything Remus had worked so hard to obtain, he distanced himself from his closest friends and in that, grew closer to the Slytherin girl they all seemed very much against for no real reason other than her affiliation. There was a darkness in her that matched his own and it drew him to her in ways Remus wasn’t familiar with. They got too close to something he had forbidden himself from taking pleasure in, however, and he removed himself from her life like smoke, a tragic hero in his own mind (something she would blatantly disagree with, if he plucked up enough courage to ask). Remus is one of three people that knows why Marlene truly left Hogwarts in December of 1977. What he doesn’t understand is why she never came back.

← James Potter

It only took about a month and a half. When Remus first arrived at Hogwarts, he had just gotten through a full moon. He was tired, his bones ached, but he had a chest full of child-like hope that was overwhelming to him at the time. He confined himself to his dorm room. The three boys he shared it with came and went. He might show up to lunch and grab enough bread and fruit and cheese to get him through until the next day. It had been James Potter who stayed behind first. “I’ll catch up with you,” he’d heard him say to the others, a knot of nerves forming in Remus’ throat as he cowered behind the curtains of his four-poster. There was some rustling from the other side of the room followed by footsteps that undeniably led right up to the side of his bed. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists, but no words came. There was simply a clunk, retreating footsteps, and the click-clack of the door opening and closing. Tentatively, Remus peeked out over the side of his bed. A tray of food at been left on the floor in the spot he heard James stop. There was a hefty goblet of pumpkin juice with a heaping of meats and sweets. It was clear what James preferred to eat, looking at it. There was a note stuck to a piece of roast beef. Written in messy scrawl, he’d said, “I already found the kitchens. Show you if you want. - James Potter, your roommate (the expert flyer).” Remus woke up for breakfast the next morning and excitedly (though tentatively), called after the other three as they headed for the door. When they stopped abruptly and looked at him there was a mixture of confusion and disbelief from two, but a knowing, triumphant smile from one. When he said he wanted to come with them, a hopeful eyebrow that surprised Remus shot up James’ forehead. “Yea?” He asked and Remus, swallowing down the fear, nodded. He seldom skipped a meal after that. In truth, they were his favorite parts of the day.

→ Sirius Black

Remus was very good at reading people. He discovered this about himself very early on in his Hogwarts days. James was an open book. He wasn’t ashamed to feel or let his feelings be known. Peter was subtle, he preferred, like Remus, to keep to the background and observe his surroundings. Sirius, on the other hand, was a sea of emotion that he kept carefully concealed behind sarcastic quips and bouts of fire-like rage. It was in the twitch of his jaw, subtle tightening of grip, flash of eyes, or even in the way he held his shoulders. Remus could see the way Sirius fought his own demons. It was admirable because he knew of a similar fight within himself. Unlike him, however, Sirius never had to want in his youth. He had been brought up on certain stigmas and stereotypes that he struggled to fight early on. When they first discovered he was a werewolf, Remus could see clearly that Sirius pretended to be okay with it as a means to find more reasons to stand against his family. In truth, it was hard for him. He grew up thinking werewolves were scum. Now he was friends with one and though he tried, it stunted them a little bit. Remus had convinced himself things were better, Sirius had worked through his seeded discriminations, but a hateful prank pulled on Severus Snape in their sixth year changed his mind on that, and put a permanent dent in their friendship. Though Sirius apologized and Remus forgave, because he loved his friends and would likely always give them second chances, he couldn’t forget. And every month, he felt a familiar sense of anxiety creeping in; could he trust him? Should he not? He would because James asked him to. James was the glue that held them all together; seeing his friends with bountiful admiration, always.

→  Peter Pettigrew

Remus attached himself to Peter because they were both quiet. They kept to themselves when James and Sirius weren’t around, finding solitude in the silence like the other boys never could. Remus appreciated Peter’s quiet hilarity. He seemed timid, but truthfully he was observant. He wanted to be in the background. It had become clear to Remus in their fifth year when his animagus took the form of a rat. Peter was resourceful, clever, quiet down to his swift movements that seemed to allow him to glide through a crowd as if made of vapor. He was an important facilitator in most of the pranks James and Sirius came up with, managing to go unnoticed among a crowd of people if that’s what he wanted to happened. He got his way through being devious and sometimes, though fleeting and a thought he entirely kept to himself because of how James and Sirius might react, Remus wondered what kept his good friend from being a Slytherin.

REMUS LUPIN IS CURRENTLY CLOSED FOR APPLICATIONS.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

COTW 23 - update

Holding Viren, Levi was pacing back and forth in the family waiting area. Eren had already been in surgery for 8 hours, and he was still yet to hear anything about his husband's health. Doctor Reed had suggested he wait back at the hotel, and that she would call when the procedure was over, but Levi couldn't bare to bring himself to leave. He didn't want to be unable to get to Eren in time... Hushing Viren as he started wake, Levi wished someone would pick him up and carry him around. He was dead on his feet, but if he sat, he'd never get back up. Eren hadn't had a great flight down, due to a panic attack that had resulted in him sedated. When he'd woken at Mitras Royal, his husband had been severely disoriented and groggy. He'd begged Levi to take him home, and grown agitated over the lack of rings on his finger, taking hours to come back to reality as the drugs left his system. Having spent the whole night before Eren's flight at the hospital with his omega, then going straight to spending a flight being serenaded with Viren's stunning "operatic" vocals, and topping the trifecta with a terrified Eren, Levi was tired, smelly, exhausted to the point of nausea and nursing a headache greater than Viren's ability to scream. He knew Viren couldn't help the pain in his ears that came from flying, but out of everyone on the plane, only one little old beta woman had been happy to help. The rest of the passengers getting mad at the three year old for something he couldn't help or understand. By the twelve hour mark, Levi was wondering if they'd forgotten he existed. He'd given up pacing, thanks to his knees threatening to give out, and thanks to having to take Viren to the bathroom, and for food. His paranoia left him wondering if they'd come to find him, then found that he wasn't there and assumed he'd left. His arse was numb, his back hurt like a bitch and his eyes burned from a lack of sleep, but there was no way he was going home. 16 hours after kissing Eren goodbye as he wheeled away, Doctor Reed finally came to find him. The woman looked as bad as he felt "Levi" Rising to his feet, she gestured for him to sit. Levi's heart was hammering as he did "How... how is he?" "It was a hard and difficult surgery. Separating the tumour wasn't easy..." Oh god... oh... fuck... this was it... Eren had... he was... Levi's eyes filled with tears, Doctor Reed placing her hand on his shoulder "... and we were unable to remove the entirety of the tumour, however, we did remove over 80 percent of the tissue. Now. There were some complications, extending procedure time. The pup went into distress which is why we didn't remove the tumour in its entirety, the second twin then slipping into distress from the extended surgery..." Reed paused, Levi was getting over these pauses real fucking fast "Eren?" "Eren crashed on the table, suffering a major bleed as we were closing. We closed the bleed, and got his heart back into normal sinus rhythm, but we've placed him in a medically induced coma to relieve the pressure on his body. The next 48 hours are going to be critical. We'll be monitoring both pups very closely, as well as Eren for clots, preterm-labour, or secondary bleeds. We won't know if there are any lasting effect from the bleed, until he wakes" Levi felt as if he'd been dumped into an ice bath. His stomach clenching so hard that vomited into his mouth "Now. I know you're anxious to see him, but we have him a sterile room to lower risk of infection, and we will be keeping him under until we are absolutely sure he is strong enough to be brought back out. You need to go home and rest" Rest... how could he rest? "I know everything I said is scary, but it was nothing outside the realms of possibilities we knew may occur during this procedure. I'm also not sugar coating it, because I know you'd be insulted if I did. So the best thing you can do for Eren, is to go back to your hotel and rest" "I want to see him" "That's not currently possible" "I... I don't care if I can't talk to him, I need to see him... he's... my husband" Reed took a long breath in through her nose "Please. I need to see he's out of surgery" "You won't be able to communicate with him, and the amount of equipment surrounding him may be alarming" "I know. I'm prepared for that. But I still need to see him. We've come all this way. He's in a city and hospital he doesn't know. Having a surgery he was scared shitless over, and now you tell me he died on table. I need to... see him" Reed softened "I can give you a few minutes, but you have to promise me you'll rest" Levi nodded quickly "Alright, come with me" Forced to stand on the outside of the room, Eren was locked away from him. His omega's room was directly across from nurses station, which was generally reserved for the riskier of patients. Normally doctor's liked their patiences to come out of anesthetiser naturally, but there Eren was. Surrounded by monitors, his stomach bare and other than the small sensor pads placed across his swell to monitor the vitals of their pups. Levi found no relief at the sight of Eren like that. He looked too thin, and far too pale "Levi?" Blinking, he realised Reed had placed her hand on his shoulder again "My team is the best on the whole island. He is in very good hands here" "He looks like a doll" "He may be pale, but he did just go through a 13 hour procedure. Even unconscious, surgery is a heavy burden on the body, and there is a risk of infection. Being in a coma is the best thing for him right now" So they had left him waiting... They'd left him to stew in his own misery "He'll wake up again, won't he?" "We have no reason to doubt he won't once the drugs are weaned from his system. He will be weak, but if all goes well, he'll be home by the 28th" Levi nodded, swapping Viren to his opposite hip. He and Eren had married on the 13th, it was now the 17th or was maybe even the 18th... Eren was due to remain in Mitras until the 21st, then to be transferred back to Shinganshima. He didn't see Eren being home by the 28th, nor did he see him testifying on the 6th of March like Floch had organised... Eren wanted to take the stand as it would be the states lawyers questioning him this time, and giving him a chance to explain his life in his own words. Floch was sitting on the pushing incident, which left Levi furious, yet the man had restated that he had a plan "Now. The best thing for you is sleep" Levi nodded, he didn't want to take his eyes off Eren. The three rings and the two wolves he wore around neck felt incredibly heavy, almost like a hangman's noose. If anything else were to happen... he'd lose his head "Thank you... and thank you for... for saving them..." "You're welcome. I never promised this would be easy, but we all came through the other side in one piece. Are you alright to get home from here?" "Yeah... yeah, I've got it covered" "Then no doubt I'll see you soon" "Thank you..." Back at the hotel, Levi crashed hard. Getting Viren, and himself, showered and changed used up the last of his energy reserves. Turning the TV on and setting it to low for the background noise, he pulled his son into bed with him. Viren wasn't a happy camper, not after a whole day at hospital with being able to run and play, but Levi wasn't about to let him go loose in a hotel room, even if the door was weighted and chained. He needed the soft warmth of his son against him. He needed to know he was safe, no matter how many whines and grabby fingers to the face he took in the process. Sleeping came easy, the hard part was when Viren woke him early demanding food. The boy had somehow rid himself of his nappy, and pants, and all managed to make one hell of a mess of their hotel room. Ordering room service, Levi was ready for another however many hours of sleep he'd gotten. Chasing Viren down and getting him back into a pair of pants, his son promptly pulled them back down, before attempting another break for it. It wasn't fair how much energy toddlers had... or maybe he was just getting old. Breakfast was another trying experience. The syrup from their pancakes ended up across the sheets, with strawberries smeared into the sheets for extra flavour. His cup of tea fell victim too, its appeal lost once half chewed, toddler drooled on, pancake ended up floating in it. If Eren had been there, he would have had everything under control, and the room service man wouldn't have had to deal with a toddler with his willy in his hand yelling about making it bigger, when the poor guy was just trying to do his job. Levi gave a him a decent tip, the man taking it all in good humour as Levi tried to assure him that this wasn't an every occurrence and that Viren was his son, and that he wasn't up to anything shady. When he thought about it after the fact, his awkwardness was probably what he was laughing about. Once again he found himself thinking Eren would have handled everything so much better. With too much energy for his own good, Levi googled parks on his phone. It was barely 8am, so he wouldn't be able to visit his omega for another two hours. Two more hours he would have preferred to be have used to sleep, but Viren was just too wired, and their bed was a mess. Fighting to get his son dressed, then himself, he went to scold his son for jumping on their bed, when the boy jumped on him with a joyous cry "Daddy! Cuddle Attack!" "Whoa!" Spinning round with Viren in his arms, his bad mood lifted. He wouldn't be out of his flunk until Eren was back home, but this was nice. His son didn't mean to tax his nerves or neurons, and his pure happiness was like a salve to the throbbing wound that was his worry for Eren "What do you say, you and I go to the park, then we'll find something nice to bring mummy" "Mummy!" "Do you miss mummy?" Viren nodded, his wide grey eyes questioning Levi silently "Mummy had to have a special procedure, to make sure he and your little siblings are alright. But he loves you, very much and he's going to be ok" "Can mummy come to the park?" "Not today, baby. But he's going to want hear all about all the fun things you've been doing" "Daddy, why does mum always have to be sick?" "Mummy doesn't want to be sick, but this special procedure is to make him better..." "I don't like it" "I know. How about we get a special gift you can give mummy? And when he's all better, you can tell him how much you love him" "I do" Kissing Viren forehead, he nodded "That's my boy... let's head out to the park" His mind really wasn't on playing, but without other children there, his son had latched onto him. He stubbornly demanded Levi watched as he climbed up the half dozen ladder rungs, so he could slide down a slide as long as Levi's leg. Whoever had designed the park, had definitely not thought about kids at all. The playground was only a slide and a couple of swings, half hidden in the ridiculously perfect grounds. It suited Mitras though, it's rich and money burning image, along with its closed society where kids were probably just thought as pretty decorations. Viren didn't really enough space to explore or enough to work off any extra energy... so he wasn't surprised when Viren came running to him and begged to go on the swings. This was only their second day in the city... he had no idea how he was going to keep Viren entertained for the rest of them. * Eren kept him waiting, his husband had been showing signs of waking all day, but it was 9 hours after he first started to stir that Eren's eyes finally opened. As feared there'd been a few complications. The pups vitals had dipped so low they thought they may have to deliver them ahead of time, before gradually improving, but not before Levi just about collapsed on the spot. Then an infection had started to form along the edge of surgery site. A hair follicle irritated by a stitch, but it was enough to scare the shit out of him again. Kept under for a third day, Eren's system was flooded with antibiotics, and the fourth day after his operation, he was finally weaned off the barbiturates. Hitting the call button, Levi rose and grabbed Eren's hand, as Eren's heart rate began to rise with panic "Shhh. It's the breathing tube, don't fight it... you're ok" Blinking at him, Eren's whole face softened. Though his gaze was unfocused, his husband knew he was there, his struggling lessening "You kept me waiting beautiful.... shhh, don't fight the tube. You're ok... you're ok, bright eyes" Eren weakly squeezed his hand. It'd been a long four days. Especially when he'd been told Eren would be under for another day. Moved away so the tube could be removed, Eren's first move was to reach for Viren. The boy crying as he watched the tube come out, and Eren began to cough. Sitting Viren on the edge of Eren's bed, his husband smiled sleepily "H-hey..." "Rest your voice. Both know how those tubes feel" "Horrible" Levi snorted softly, moving to drag the visitors chair closer to Eren's bed before sitting. Trust Eren to try jumping right into talking again. Reaching up, he brushed Eren's hair back from his face, rubbing his forehead with his thumb as he felt himself tear up "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" Eren coughed as he shook his head, wincing slightly as he dropped his head back against the pillow. Levi's heart jumped into his throat "Eren?" "Throat" "Then rest. Let me try read your lips" Eren didn't seem convinced, but his husband was fast falling back to sleep "Pups" "Both... both are fine... I'm fine. Viren's fine and you're going to be just fine too" Eren didn't need to know anything other than that "Good... mmm, baby..." Kissing Eren's cheek, Viren blew a raspberry. Lifting the toddler back into his lap, he wasn't happy to be parted with his mum "Mummy's still recovering, here. Hold mummy's hand. He's really missed you" "Missed him too" Levi was pretty certain that wasn't the case given Eren hadn't been conscious to miss him, but the way Viren carefully held Eren's hand with both his smaller ones were adorable. Just as carefully, he laid his left cheek down on the back of it "We did a little shopping for you... He wanted to buy you half the soft toys in the store" And a million other things he grabbed off the shelves, loudly proclaiming "for mummy" each time Levi took it from his hands to return it the shelf "He's a good kid" "Yeah. A complete and total handful, but he's so much like you" "N'mm like you" Eren's eyes started to slide closed. The eyes that had haunted his dreams and teased him over how long it'd been since he'd seen them "Get some more sleep, bright eyes" "It's been a while since y' call'd me that" "I've missed seeing your eyes... I've missed all of you" "Mmm... sorry... still sleepy" "I can see that. We're not going anywhere" "Love you guys" "We love you too" Sleeping for the next few hours, the second time Eren woke, Levi took Viren out the room while the checked Eren over. His husband didn't remember their earlier conversation, but it wasn't like he'd expected him to. Given it'd gotten so late, they probably wouldn't be able to stay for that much longer. Viren was bored and sleepy. Upset mummy couldn't get up and play. Making it a mission to find his son a cookie, he managed to keep the toddler entertained for a solid half an hour, before Viren got his cookie and they returned to Eren's room. Sitting up, Eren smiled at them tiredly "Look who's awake" "Look who's filling our son with sugar" "Mummy!" Viren made a run for Eren, Levi catching him as he tripped over his own feet and nearly lost his hard earned cookie. Carrying him over to Eren, he sat down with their son in his lap "Hey, baby. That's a pretty big cookie you've got there" "I needed bribery. How do you feel?" "I'm ok... sleepy... but I'm ok" "Good. Did they say anything?" "Mmm... yeah... pups are ok... that's the main thing" "What else did they say?" "A whole heap of words..." Levi forced a laugh. What he really wanted to know was if they talked about how the surgery went, but he didn't want to upset his omega by asking "Said we'd talk about it tomorrow with... with Reed" Yawning, Eren reached out to Viren to rest his hand on his head "My baby been good for daddy?" "It's been interesting" "He's been bored" "You could say that. I never realised how much time he spent sticking his hand down his pants" Eren laughed, before groaning with pain. His hand going from Viren's head to his stomach "Eren?" "Laughing isn't so great... I feel like I'm going to burst" "No laughing. Ok..." "Mmm... skins itchy too" "You had the start of an infection, but they've got it under control" "I think they said something about that too... and bleeding... I really can't remember" "Don't try and force it..." "'m not... how about you? You look sleepy" That was so very Eren "I'm ok. You have me a bit of scare though. I'm sure my hair's more grey than black these days" "Sorry... I like your hair black" "It's fine" "Tell me what you've been up to. Have you been having fun with daddy?" Viren hid behind his cookie, Eren giving another laugh and a groan "I should know better than to ask" "We went to the park, and we've been shopping. They have a kids channel at the hotel..." "TV babysitting for the win..." "Yeah. I've been lost without you around" "I'm sure that's not true" "I let him out in public without shoes on yesterday. Completely forgot them" "I've done that before too. You're not alone" "That's nice to know... I've missed... I've missed you so much" Tearing up, Eren gave him a loving smile "Hey. I'm ok" "I was scared you wouldn't wake" "Like I'd leave my two best men alone... hey, come here" Moving Viren up to Eren's bed, Levi wrapped his arms around both his loves. Nuzzling and kissing Eren's temple, he didn't care that Eren's hair smelt or that his mate hadn't showered in days. All he cared about was holding him again. The floodgates breaking open completely "You died... you left me and you died... and I wasn't there" "Shhhh... it's ok, alpha. It's ok" "I was so fucking useless. I kept wondering if it was ok to be taking Viren to play or to go shopping. I kept thinking about you" "I know you would have. I know. But it's over now, right?" "Y-yeah..." Eren picked up on the stuttered in his word "They couldn't remove all the tumour, but they got most of it... and then you nearly... you were gone" "Shhh, Levi. Levi, it's ok. I'm ok... my poor alpha. You've been so worried, while I slept. Have you called anyone? Let them know how things are?" "N-no..." "Leeeee. You were supposed to" "I texted Mike when you came out of surgery. But... I didn't want to hear it" "You said you'd call them. I didn't want you being alone" "I couldn't. Not until you were awake. I love you... I love you so much" "I love you, Lee. And I love my baby boy... can you lift Viren? He's on my stomach" "Oh! Shit... hold on..." Viren clutched to his cookie and at Eren's hospital gown as Levi pulled him back into his hold as he sat back in the visitors chair "Better?" "Not really... I'd rather the cuddles" "When we get home, you're going to have so many cuddles that you won't know what to do" "I wouldn't mind them now. My omega's so confused over everything. It wants its alpha, and wants to kill whoever touched our pups" "I don't think Reed will appreciate that" "Nor do I. How's your alpha?" Anxious. Worried. Angry. Confused. Freaking the fuck out... "Better now you're awake" "Coming off suppressants doesn't help either" "You're supposed to be worrying about yourself, not me" "Of course I'm going to worry about my family. You guys are my everything" "And you're ours..." Knocking on the glass door, a young nurse poked her head in the room "I'm sorry, but visiting hours are coming to the end" Withdrawing before he could reply, Levi looked back to Eren. His omega having paled in the last few moments "Eren?" "'m ok" "Hey, if you don't want us to go, I can ask about staying" "No. No, you need to take Viren home. He needs a bath and it's way past his bedtime" Murmuring the words, Eren's tearing eyes betrayed him "Eren..." "It's ok. I know you guys can't stay... I'm just... feeling really clingy..." "Like I said, I can ask" Eren wiped his eyes, not stemming the running tears "No... you look tired too... and I'm not... not going anywhere" "I can't leave you like this" "I know I shouldn't be scared, but I don't know this place... it doesn't smell like home" "Shhh... it's ok. You're safe. Here, Viren hop up for a second" Lifting Viren off his lap, Levi pulled his jacket off. Not caring it wasn't hygienic as he moved to lay it under Eren's head and across his pillows "Better?" "I love your scent..." "Good. I'll..." "You should take Viren back to the hotel... He spends too much time in hospital" "I don't want to leave you" "I don't want you two sleeping here..." "What can I do? I hate seeing you crying" "Give me a kiss?" Levi was happy to oblige, the nasal cannula getting in the way as he did. Straightening it out, he smiled at his mate sadly. He hated how scared Eren was becoming "I'll be here first thing in the morning, and we'll stay the whole day. I'll bring my phone in, so you can use it if you want, or look at photos. I've taken heaps of photos because I know you love them" "I... I don't deserve you" "Oh, bright eyes. You deserve the world. And who knows, maybe I'll bring you your own huge cookie" "Reed said I can't eat solid right now" Levi frowned "When did she say that?" "Before the surgery... because of you know... giving birth out my arse" Oh... yeah... straining to take a shit might not be the best thing right now "Right. Then I'll just have to make you cookies when we get home" "I'll hold you to that... where's Viren? I want to give him a kiss" It fucking sucked to leave Eren behind. His omega looked heartbroken as he guided Viren out Eren's room. He should have insisted that Eren slept. If he'd been asleep when Levi and Viren left, then his mate wouldn't be so sad... * Eren was flown back on the 23rd of February rather than the 21st. Coughing too hard due to his irritated throat had caused a tear in his stitching, and another unexpected surgery. Even if it was a very minor bleed, he was proud that Eren caught the fact that something was wrong, and spoken up about it rather than trying to hide the bleeding. Coming back home to Shinganshima was relieving. Eren was heavily depressed over the remaining tumour mass, despite trying hard not to show it. His husband's vitals had been all over the place, and Reed wouldn't sign off on the transfer until they'd steadied and remained within suitable values for 24 hours. Viren had once again hated flying, crying from the moment the cabin pressurised, right up to the moment he was taken into Hanji's arms at the hospital. Being on home turf made it easier to keep his worry under control. Eren was back in an environment he knew, and they'd be able to have some together as they had babysitters available. Meeting him at the front of the hospital, Hanji was all smiles as cuddled with Viren "It's about time you got back" "Nice to see you, too. How's Eren?" "Popped in to see him before, but he was sleeping. The transfer went like clockwork, buuuut, you're both in the sh-shoe with me" "Oh? Why now?" Falling into step with Hanji was easy. It felt like he could breathe easier and the air all that much cleaner than it had been in Mitras "Getting married without telling anyone! I can't believe you stole my Honey away and eloped" "Who told you? Was it Eld or Gunther?" "What?! They knew?! How come they got to know?! I wanted to throw Eren a huge wedding... did you do it right!? Was he happy!?" "We got married at the courthouse before Eren's surgery... and if it wasn't them, then who?" "It was on his transfer papers. Under personal affects was listed none as they were in the possession of his husband" "I knew I hated paperwork" "Why didn't you tell meeeeee?! Do you know how long I've been mentally planning this wedding?! How many hours I've put into the seat charts and flowers?!" "Don't worry, we still want a big wedding... Eren was scared of dying without marrying me" If he said he was just as scared, Hanji would pull the piss out of him for the rest of his life "And here I was, ready to give you shit. I can't tease you for a reason like that" "Once the trial is over and the pups are born, then we'll talk wedding. That's the agreement" "I read his updated medical records..." "And?" Pressing the elevator button, Hanji made him wait until they'd stepped inside and she'd pushed the button to the floor Eren was on before continuing "And I read about what happened... how is?" "Not happy. He's trying to hide it, but he feels guilty for not being strong enough for the whole of the tumour to be removed. Which is complete shoe. His omega's also been all over the place. He's wanted cuddles, but we got in trouble for Viren sitting on his bed, and I got us in trouble for leaving my jacket over his pillow so he'd have my scent" "Well, he's home now. Mike said he'd take Viren tonight. He also said that Titan needs to go on a diet" "He's fine the way he is... and I might take him up on that. We haven't had a chance to talk about everything. Not with little ears in the room" "How did he enjoy his holiday?" Watching the doors open, this time Levi made Hanji wait as he stepped off. Viren was practically asleep in her hold "He didn't. He wanted Eren and didn't understand why he couldn't be there. Plus, being in a hotel room most of the time left him with energy to spare. The second day Eren was awake, he talked at him for two hours straight" "I'm sooooo glad Anna's growing out of that. She's made Eren a card, but I'm not allowed to give it to him. And she's been lost without Viren" "For being your daughter, she's not as much as a pain in the arse as you are" "I know. She reminds me so much of Moblit... I'd like to take credit, but Eren has been so good with her" "Eren's really good with kids, and omegas. It's a shame he never got to put those skills to use outside of babysitting and saving omegas being attacked" "He's still young. Give it a couple of years for the pups to grow" "I know he's still young. I'm just saying..." "You're saying your smitten by everything he does" "He is my husband" "I know that. Do I get to see the wedding ring?" "Once it's back on his finger with the other two" "You've bought him half a jewellery shop... the rings, the charm bracelet, the wolves..." "Eren bought the wolves..." He couldn't deny Hanji's point though. He'd bought Eren four rings over the span of their relationship, which would possibly be around $7000 worth of jewellery... or so. But when compared to the fact that some spent that on a single ring, it really didn't seem that bad. Besides, Eren was beautiful. He'd had such a hard life and deserved pretty things. And the charm bracelet was Eren's pride and joy. A "V" added for their son, and when the next two pups came, he'd buy charm letters for both of them "Ooooooh. That makes me more sense" "Yeah. He didn't want me to give his jewellery back until we were back home. Viren's been after the wolves" Eren was awake when they walked in, giving them a small wave, Hanji raised an eyebrow "Is that all I get?" "Sorry. Hey, Hanji. How've you been?" "I've been worried about my little Sweetheart. My married, Sweetheart" Eren looked from Hanji to him "I didn't tell her. It was on your paperwork" "Oh... yeah... um... we got married" "I know. I mean. I heard. Levi said I couldn't look at the wedding ring until it was back on your finger" "That might be a while... I think they're swollen" Swollen? Since when? Eren's fingers were on the slender side. Like those of a piano player "Noooo... I want to seeeee! I can't believe you guys didn't invite me" "It was a small ceremony" "With a nice wedding night. Can I have Viren?" Walking over to Eren, Hanji set Viren down beside him. Leaving Levi to walk around the bed and sink down to sit on the other side "How do you feel? Any pain? Or discomfort?" "Hanji, you know what it's like to be pregnant. Everything hurts" "This is true. I want to take a little look at your stitches while I'm here" Levi sighed, taking Eren's hand into his. His omega's fingers didn't look swollen "Leave him alone" "I can't help it. He was gone for soooo long" Kissing the top of Viren's head, their son mumbled out "mumma" as he nuzzled into Eren's chest "How long am I going to be in here?" "A week or so. It depends if any complications arise" "Yay. I've gone from being stuck in one hospital to being stuck in another..." "At least you have all of us for entertainment..." Eren didn't look enthused or amused "Fiiiine. At least you're closer to being back home. Oh. That reminds me. I had Mike go ahead and pick a shower chair up for you, and a couple of rails in the bathroom to make getting around easier" "You didn't need to do that" "Nonsense. You're not to be on your feet for extended periods of time" "I know this" "Then you know it's for your own good, Eren" "It doesn't mean you get to rearrange Levi's apartment while he's not home" It wasn't just his apartment. He'd noticed the changes in Eren's speech that directly related to his omega's mental state. If he was upset, Eren tried to back away from things. It became Levi's room, Levi's apartment and Levi's son. Thankfully, Hanji hadn't or she'd be making Eren even more uncomfortable "He doesn't mind. Your health is our number one priority. Over the next few days, you'll be resting. We'll be performing ultrasounds daily, as well as monitoring you closely. I know you're sick to death of having no privacy and of being poked at... but this is for your own wellbeing and that of the pups. We need to know the second something doesn't feel right or normal" Eren let out a faint whine, Levi squeezing his hand hard "Stop scaring him" "I'm just explaining so he knows what's going on" "You can do that without scaring him" "Guys... that's enough. I think I want to get some more sleep" "Mike is going to look after Viren tonight, because we both know Levi isn't going to want to leave you" "He should go home" "I'm not going anywhere" "Titan and Viren need you" "And they're both going to be taken care of... we haven't had a chance to talk since the surgery" "I don't really feel like talking. I'm still tired from the flight" Hanji caught his eye, her frown obvious "I'm fine. I just need to sleep off the meds and stuff. Levi, you should take Viren home" "I'm staying with you" "Levi" "Eren. I'm staying and that's final. You're husband and I've been worried sick about you. We're home and Mike is happy to look after Viren" "No fighting you two. Eren, I want to take a look at those stitches now, then I'll let you sleep" "Not with Viren in the room..." "Alright. Let me get Mike and we'll figure this out" Eren's stitches didn't look great. That wasn't to say that whoever closed the wound hadn't done a nice job. It was more that he hated that Eren needed them to begin with. The bruising had mostly faded, and the edges had started to scar closed. Replacing the wound dressing, Hanji hummed as she worked "It looks good. The infection has cleared up nicely... you've got a little bit of flaking which is probably itchy as hell, so I'll get some cream for that..." "So, he's ok?" "Yep. You'll have a scar, but things look really good to me" "No signs of another bleed?" "Nope. The bruising and swelling will pass, and we'll find out the rest when we give you an ultrasound" Eren had his eyes closed during Hanji's examination. Breathing through his nose, his husband looked as if he was trying his hardest to fake being asleep "Thanks, Hanji. Is... am I allowed to lay next to him?" "You'll need to be careful not to jostle him, and you'll need to avoid placing any pressure at all on his stomach. For now, I would prefer if you remained sitting by his side until after the ultrasound" "Alright. I'm not going anywhere anyway" "We all know that. I'll try to be here for the ultrasound, then we can find you a blanket or two" Nodding, Hanji flashed him a large smile as she started cleaning up the mess she'd made "It really is good to have you back. Anna is going to be so excited to see you again. She's been asking about you everyday and how "Uncle Eren's babies" are. I'm off for a couple of hours tomorrow around lunch, so I'll bring lunch in with me. You're probably sick to death of hospital food" "They've had him on soft foods" "That makes sense. I know a great place that does an amazing array of desserts. I'm sure I can find a few things" Eren let out a nasally sigh "Ok... can I go to sleep now?" "Sure thing. Levi, you're in charge of watching over him" "Like I'd do anything else"

[amandayuebing]

My Life is Very Shoujo Manga,  Chapter 5: President outdone by a baby 👶🏻

Friday, 29th of August 2014, I witnessed my first Fukuda Cup. Not only did I learn more about kendo and how its competitions work, but I learned a little more about the people in the club as well.

Since I was part of the beginners’ group who had just started kendo less than a month ago, we weren’t participants in the competition but were encouraged to watch take in what was happening as its own learning experience. 

I walked into the sports hall and greeted Gloria and Marianne. Gloria complimented me on my outfit! I was wearing my favourite black tee, a pair of jeans, a simple pair of heels and red lipstick — a simple, but cute outfit. However, as soon as Gloria complimented me, Marianne said in a rather caustic tone, “of course, honey! It’s a Friday night!”

Watching my first Fukuda cup was honestly thrilling. You didn’t have to understand much to feel the energy in the room —  the sounds of kendokas bodies, armour and bamboo swords colliding; kiai (気合) filling the shiai-jo; people cheering “faito!” 

It was also, honestly, a little overwhelming, and I wasn’t sure if I’ll ever get used to the fear I felt even as an onlooker. But this was just the beginning of my journey, so I was willing to at least give it a try before deciding exactly how I felt about kendo.

Tony was a Kyu player at the time, but Fukuda-sensei said he played too well to go against other Kyu players, so he was apparently always thrown into the Dan division.

I felt most excited about his matches, more than just because he was my crush, but honestly, his spirit he has as a kendoka was intense and captivating. He lost against Hugh-sensei, but oh my gosh, I felt immensely proud of him anyway!

After his matches, Tony walked over to Mal and I and he asked me to hold his competition shinai to feel the difference between that, and a normal shinai. The handle was subtly more hexagonal than round, but I lost all eloquence in that moment from shyness and the “oh shit” feeling of being glared down by Marianne. 

All I could manage to squeak out of me was, “it feels different,” which confused Tony, because he thought I said “sticky” and he gave me a confused look and asked, “it’s not sticky...?”

With there still being the screaming of a match in the background, and my voice naturally not being very loud, I had to whisper in his ear, “diff-er-ent. Not sticky. Like... the shape...”

Marianne kept pacing back and forth after the competition ended and the kendoka were getting changed. I was waiting for Gloria who said she’d be happy to walk me home, and Mallory was waiting with me. Marianne suddenly walked over to Mallory and I and said, “you can go home now, you know?” Yikes.

I smiled and told her, “Thanks Marianne, we do know. We’re just waiting for our other friends,” and she walked away.

I whispered to Mal to ask if she got the vibe I was getting, and yes B2, she was feeling it too… And from June as well? She also felt that. “Amanda, we’re on their hit lists…” Shit.

Whew, to lighten the mood a little I need to tell you also about the cutest baby (okay, technically a toddler but any child under 4 years old I call a “baby” :3) who’d come to watch his daddy’s matches with his mummy. He had the roundest cheeks and his own baby shinai. I said hello to him and his mother, and he blew me a kiss. My heart!

His mother told him to wink at me, and he gave me the most aggressive/hard wink I’ve ever seen instead. He was honestly the cutest.

Mal and I didn’t go to “second dojo” (a.k.a. the bar, for alcohol, not like the lawyers’ bar, or barre I’m used to these days) last time because I’m not a huge fan of drinking. Or drunk people. But Mal made me promise to just try and socialise with everyone a bit more… I really didn’t want to. I just wanted to go home, but since Mal was going to be walking me home, well, I had no choice… But it was loud, and crowded. And Marianne was there giving me the classic glare. I felt really unhappy for some reason, despite nothing really happening. I think in my heart I knew why.

A badly timed phone call from someone I really missed and hardly got to speak to made me feel even worse. I didn’t get to my phone on time, and all I heard was the voicemail. 

I felt very distressed and lonely, after realising how much I missed this person, who was currently far away. When I got home, I tried calling them back but I couldn’t reach them and spent a lot of the night crying.

I texted Mal when I got home to let her know I was feeling sad. For the first time, I told her something I hadn’t been able to open up about with anyone else. And I also told her how I felt about how Marianne was acting that night, but how cute Tony is. I apologised for bringing up so much drama, but she told me talking about Tony never feels like drama :3.

WELL.

Then the next morning, my parents came to visit, so I woke up feeling significantly better. It feels good to have people you care about being around.

I messaged Tony later in the day to let him know how I thought him winking at me last night was “cute, and only almost as cute as the baby that were there last night with the baby shinai, watching his dad’s shiais” (‘cos I mean, not only did the baby aggressively-blinked/winked me, but blew me kisses as well! Obviously the baby wins! Maybe...?)

Tony’s response to that was cute, also. 

“Oh, snap. Outdone by a baby ;).”

[musically-melodic]

If I Could Tell Her

Status: Crush

AN: The song is not in the same context as the musical but the lyrics work, although I may have changed some but it was just to sort out points of views, so don't judge. Also OC.

Y/N POV

I have been trying to deny it all week but it is just not working. I am completely and totally jealous. It's just that every time that I see Wally he is always talking to Melody. I mean I know she is my best friend and I know she wouldn't do anything to sabotage my chance with him but...

I don't know, they both have been avoiding me like the plague.

What if Melody told Wally that I like him! What if he really doesn't like me and they are trying to find a way to tell me! What if they think I'm not cool and just don't want to be friends with me anymore! What if...  

My thoughts are interrupted by my phone going off. It's a message from......

WALLY!!!!

When did he get my number? I mean I had his number because Melody gave it to me but I have never actually used it.

Wally: Hey Y/N! Could u             meet us at the park?             Like rn?

I was so shocked. I can barely form a normal sentence around him and now he’s asked me to meet him at the park! Wait... It said us ... Maybe Melody is there with him... WHAT IF THEY’RE TOGETHER!!!

Without thinking I message back

Y/N: I would love to! Where     should I meet u ?

I press the power button to turn off the screen and start tapping my fingers against my phone and pace around my bedroom.

Once again my phone chimes and it's another message from Wally.

Wally: At the bandstand if              that's alright?

I have to be honest. I'm panicking! I take a few deep breaths and start tapping at the device.

Y/N: That's fine I'll see u soon.

I lob my phone on to my bed and start digging  through all of my stuff to get the things I would need.

Doing a last check to see if I have my phone, wallet (you know if it ends up in them saying that they’re together I'm gonna need my heartbreak kit - ice cream, chocolate and sad movies) and keys. I lock the front door and start walking towards the park.

****TIME SKIP****

When I got to the park I saw lots of kids with their parents and carers but there was one pair that really caught my eye. It was a young woman with a little boy. From the distance between me and the two I could hear their conversation.

"Aunty Annabeth can you tell me the story of how you and mummy and daddy became best friends again please!" the little boy said after he had come down the slide and ran to her. She picked the boy up, swung him around once and sat down on a nearby bench with him on her knee.

"So," the woman started, " we all became friends when your daddy and mummy came over and stopped some mean people from school who were being really mean to me. They pushed the bad people away and your daddy told them 'if you ever come near her again you will get a good bashing!'" The boy giggled as the woman raised her fist and deepened her voice, supposedly doing an impression of the boys farther. The woman carried on speaking. "Ever since then mummy and daddy have been very protective over me. And me, mummy and daddy were always going on adventures. When we grew up both me and mummy fell in love with  your very own daddy. Unfortunately for me your daddy was only in love with your mummy so then they got married and had a little boy called Nico," with the mention of what I'm supposing is his name the boy smiled and started to giggle as the woman tickled him. Once he had calmed down, she finished "and they lived happily ever after."

The boy looked sad. " Did you not get a happily ever after then aunty Annabeth?" The woman looked to the sky and the boy followed her lead.

After a moment the woman concluded with, " Hopefully I will get my happily ever after, just like your parents. Maybe I will get married to uncle Percy and have a little urchin like you," She said smiling and pushing a finger against his nose. "But they don't just appear. They take hard-work, good friendships and, with a bit of luck, a little bit of true love."

And with that the boy looked down from the sky, and, jumping off the woman's lap, ran over to two approaching adults. The woman had black, pixie cut hair and wore punk type clothes  and the man had sandy hair and a scar on his face.

I saw how they all smiled at each other and I realised something·  Even if Melody and Wally were going out I should be supportive and I should be a good friend. I decided to head to the bandstand and face the situation head on. As long as Wally is happy I should be. As long as I can keep his eyes in my life I will be satisfied.

When I finally get in view of the bandstand I see two figures standing in the middle. The one with its back to me was obviously Wally with his ginger hair.  I could see him rubbing the back of his neck, a habit he had when he was nervous. This must be important then if he's  nervous about it. Melody must have seen me from over Wally's shoulder because she suddenly stopped their conversation, shoved Wally towards what looked like a stool, then ran down the steps and towards me.

There must have been a worried look on my face because she started to try and reassure me.

"Don't worry it's nothing bad we just have something to tell you," Melody told me as she grabbed my wrist and dragged me towards the bandstand and what looks like a guitar and a keyboard.

Just as we went up the elegant steps, directly in front of me was a four legged stool.  Slightly to the left was another stool however seated on this was Wally, his emerald eyes slightly covered by his bright orange hair, where intently focused on the strings of the guitar, which he was plucking and slightly twisting the pegs and changing the note of each string to tune it.

Melody grabbed my shoulders and frog marched me to the empty stool and pushed me into it. She then released her tight grasp and scooted past everything to stand behind the keyboard.

"Right then," she started, placing both hands on her hips and her feet shoulder width apart in what she calls her 'superhero/peter pan' stance. Wally here has something he would like to say to you but is unable to just say it to you. So naturally he came to the greatest person in the world to figure out how to tell you. Of course I came up with the best idea and that is how we all came to be here today. Just remember this is so uncharacteristic of him so give him some slack.

"So sit back, relax, watch out for the Moulin Rouge reference and enjoy Wally's gift , his song to you... "

Wally , having not looked up during Melody's speech, looked to her and she nodded. He looked straight back down and started to strum the beginning notes to the song.

Then Melody started to speak.

"Listen he thinks you are awesome." she looked at me straight in the eye as if this sudden eye contact meant something special. I shook my head in disbelief.

“He does! I'm telling the truth. Just listen.” She took a pause to wait for the music to catch up with her, keeping an eye on Wally for her que. Her fingers started to move gracefully across the keys as she began to sing.

“Well he said 

There's nothing like your smile 

Sort of subtle and perfect and real

He said 

You never knew how wonderful

That smile could make someone feel

And he knew 

Whenever you get bored 

You scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans 

And he noticed 

That you still fill out the quizzes 

That they put in those teen magazines”

With each line that Melody sang, I could see Wally’s face slowly covering in a bright red blush. Did he really notice all those things that I did? Did he notice me that much?

“But he kept it all inside his head

What he saw he left  unsaid

And though he wanted to 

He couldn't talk to you

He couldn't find a way

But he would always say…”

At this point Wally finally lifted his head and began to sing.

“If I could tell her

Tell her everything I see

If I could tell her

How she's everything to me

But we're a million worlds apart

And I don't know how I would even start

If I could tell her

If I could tell her”

Holy mother of Zeus! Does this mean he likes me? I can't stop the smile spreading across my face. This is like a dream come true. I decided to play along with their little song.

“Did he say anything else?” I asked timidly.

“About you?” Melody replied with a mischievous smirk, “Of course! I think he could have gone on forever if he wanted to, but right now I'm just going to bring up  the best ones.”

“He thought 

That you looked really pretty”

Wally looked at Melody with a look of shock and irritation and in turn Melody let out a heavy sigh. Me on the other hand had a blush the shade of a tomato. 

“Fine,” she sighed, 

“It looked pretty cool when you put indigo streaks in your hair

And he wondered how you learned to dance

Like all the rest of the world isn't there

But he kept it all inside his head

What he saw he left unsaid…”

Once again Wally took over.

“If I could tell her

Tell her everything I see

If I could tell her

How she's everything to me

But we're a million worlds apart

And I don't know how I would even start

If I could tell her

If I could tell her

But what do you do when there's this great divide?”

“You just seemed so far away” Melody joined in,

“And what do you do when the distance is too wide?”

“It's like I don't know anything”

“And how do you say”

I looked right into Wally’s eyes, wanting to know what he wanted to say.

“I love you

I love you

I love you

I love you”

Each time he said it hit me like a truck. He. He loves me? I have to be dreaming. I can't believe it. Tears started to brim in my eyes. I could feel it. 

“But we're a million worlds apart

And I don't know how I would even start

If I could tell her

If I could”

Wally finally finished strumming the last chord, Melody went and took the guitar off him. She had already packed up her keyboard, doing it with great speed. She grabbed the stools and after she gave me a little nudge with a sly smirk walked down the steps of the bandstand and packed all her things into a pull along wagon and walked away. 

Once Melody had disappeared from view, I turned back to Wally. I could tell he was nervous from his stance. It was one I had never seen him in because with whatever he did, he always did it with a confident demeanor.

“Did you,” Wally paused to swallow the lump in his throat, “ Did you like the song?” 

“Yeah it was really good. I didn't know you played guitar.” I muttered just loud enough for him to hear. We both just stood there, a calm yet uncomfortable silence as a sudden gust of wind blew through.

“OK, here we go. Did you mean,” I paused to catch my breath, “what you said in the song?” I asked, preparing myself to run away if the answer was not the one I'd hoped for.

“Of Course I meant it. Believe it or not Y/N I've had a massive crush on you for quite a while now. And those feelings have just kept growing and growing the more I've gotten to know you. Each new thing you show me about yourself I've either loved or learned to love and I wouldn't change you for the world. At this very moment in time I'm just hoping that you feel the same. And if you don't I'll still always be here for you. Either romantically or not.”

“Wally,” I breathe. The biggest smile you could ever imagine was on my face at this moment. “I'm pretty sure I fell in love with you the moment I met you.” With my last word Wally took the few steps he needed to close the gap between us and tenderly pressed his lips on mine. You know that warm tingle you get from lying in the sun on a summer's day. That's what it felt like. And I never wanted it to stop.

Thanks to my little brother for being my beta reader 

[paleface-warmheart]

Connection, reversal, and the ten of swords

Pick a card, any card. What does it mean? What does anything mean? Where to from here?

I hear that he’s angry. She laughs and says how he is desperate and lonely. He’s given up weed, so he is so ‘annoying’. This doesn’t make me happy. Why? Shouldn’t I take delight? That same man who abused me, called me a burden, crazy, not good enough, who would laugh at my tears. Why am I not happy that he is not ‘coping’ with his new life? A life that he chose when he decided to end it. Decided to push the knife in one last time, just a little deeper. I got the power back, but I feel like I have now lost it. One single moment of anxiety, of neediness. I undid 7 months of growth, of learning, of self-reflection. Of silence. Beautiful silence. Of never experiencing his criticism, his blame, his anger. Of knowing that I would never have to see his emotionally needy mother ever again. His stupid fucking mother who needs to cut the umbilical chord, but who needs her ‘baby boys’ for validation. To feel needed, to feel loved. 

That same mother who would drive me home from rehab. Raising her voice at me, telling me what to do. Blaming me, making me feel guilty for surviving. Those two? What a team! I hope the big C gets her and soon. Good riddance. Goodbye from my life. Take your idiot ‘baby boy’ with you. Do I truly mean that? Deep down?

Why did I try to go to him? To show him that I am not angry anymore? To help him? So he cannot forget me? I cannot forget him. Every time my foot hurts, every time I feel uncomfortable wearing pants that show off my ankle, the one loaded full of metal. The one that I will eventually need to get fused. Fused, so I am in less pain, but I will always feel pain. Pain that I was so selfless. That I hated myself so much. That I was  so damaged, and made myself so very more. Overwhelmingly so.

She tries to change the subject. I don’t know. I don’t know. She looks away. You don’t have to do anything she says. You have come so far, I don’t want to see you go back. And yet, I try to go to him. I try to help the man who abused me. Made me feel guilty for surviving. How fucking dare I? How fucking dare I expect the man who nearly destroyed me, who knew how vulnerable and how unwell I was, to ever truly care? He’s just focused on his next ‘victim’. What if he changes for her? I wasn’t worth it. I was never worth it. 

I am off to see Amyl. I am excited. I feel brave. I am independent. I hear his voice. That voice that used to criticise me, that spoke to me with such hatred, such repulsion. My stomach drops. I want to hide, I need to hide. He is waiting for someone. He is probably waiting for her. The new ‘love of his life’. Sometimes I feel sorry for her. Sometimes I envy her. I miss being her. Is he here? What if he can see me? I want to run, but I love this band! I want to break my record. Twenty Fringe shows! Two shows to go to tomorrow night! Thank god it’s Friday. 

My beloved Alma Mater again. I feel at home. I am so proud. I am thirsty. I head to Chow Town. I see him again. What does it all mean? I walk past him. Fuck you, my space too. I do not look his way. He does not acknowledge me. I feel hurt. I am hurt. So hurt. The hurt overwhelms me. What do I do? Does he forget me? Does he feel anything? All the while my heart is beating so fast. My eyes become wet with tears. I see the show. I cry, but was it the show, or him? I am confused. I need to stop the anxiety. Is it anxiety? I unblock.

Why am I being nice? He feels nothing. He sees it, but does not reply. 48 hours to re block. Fuck. My. Life. I am nothing. He will laugh about me with his friends. That crazy bitch. The one that I will be so happy that I never have to deal with again. So damaged. So very damaged. I can just move onto something with no damage. Someone not from a ‘crazy’ family. Someone not ‘crazy’. Bitches are all so crazy. Except my one ‘non-crazy’ friend. The one that has a messed up history with men. Yet she’s not crazy! She dated a psycho, had a boyfriend in high school in prison, and yet, still not ‘crazy’. I need her to put in a good word anyway, to my next intended victim. She is friends with my past, and she is friends with my future. My bright, sexy future. Just need to lock down that ‘future’. Control her. Manipulate her. 

The cards fall from my hands onto the floor. I laugh. So clumsy! Better pick those up, and which one should I choose? It stares back at me. A person is laying down. There’s swords in their back, are they laying on them? Or are they falling out? The ten of swords, but it is upside down. Reversed? What does it mean? I begin to read the description. I freeze. 

Recovery, regeneration, resisting an inevitable end. You are combating an inevitable change or ending because you are not ready to face up to what is happening. The more you resist, the more it will drag on. So rip off the bandage (however painful that might be) and get this over with so you can start fresh. Fresh. I want to feel fresh, not stale. Stale like overused, damaged goods. 

A welcome sign hey? That the pain and sadness I have been feeling is ending. I am releasing the memories of the past and allowing myself the opportunity to move forward with a sense of renewal and hope for the future. I like that. I love that. Maybe that is what his silence means. An ending. The inevitable. That he is not my future. He is death. I am life. 

Connection. What me and him lost. What I crave. What I need, what I search for. Don’t we all? When I enter ‘Mummy’s’ space I am desperate for connection, intimacy. The two women before me found it, so it’s a given yeah? Then it is not. I push, I strive to connect. I am uncomfortable. Time is up. I lie. ‘We totally connected’ and yet we didn’t. I felt it more with ‘Daddy’. We clicked. They were easy to communicate with. I hated lying to them. What does this mean?

Pushing a connection, it’s hard work, it’s pointless. I just needed to know if there was still a connection. That he doesn’t forget me. That he doesn’t hate me. That he still cares. That he still thinks about me every now and then. That he means what he says. Who am I kidding? It’s long gone. He’s long gone. We connect no more, and my anxiety desperately needed to know if it was still there. If ‘he’ was still there. That same man who had once loved me deeply. Loved me so much that he couldn’t imagine a life without me, and then he did. Not imagined, dreamed. I was stale. She is fresh. 

You cannot push a connection. You cannot push intimacy. They just happen, and when they do, treasure them. You cannot prevent the inevitable. You cannot push the unnatural. Allow it to pass from your life. Open the door, open the space. For the natural, you won’t need to push.

This is my fuck off. This is the final adios. This is my closure. 

[empressdrega27]

The Dragon and the Pharaoh

WOOO! And so it begins~

@claustro-phobic-turtle @dem-obscure-imagines

Enjoy!

Chapter One: Stolen Property

 Elizabeth snarled. A low raspy sound that came from deep in her chest. It was a quirk of hers, that snarl. She only did it when she was royally pissed about something. And at the moment, she had a really good reason to be royally pissed.

Drega (that was her code name) wasn’t the most popular girl on the Young Justice roster, and when she was officially inducted into the honest to goodness Justice League, her popularity plummeted even lower. It was Stargirl and Batgirl mostly. For some reason, they despised her. They never gave her an explanation why, but they made sure she knew how much they hated her.

This was the first time they’d stolen from her though.

It had been a book. A book of ancient dragon spells, and most importantly, it had been a gift from a dear friend. Elizabeth’s predecessor, Konnex, the former king of Arkaydia. It was a beautiful book, bound in black leather with a special lock on the front. Only someone with the skill to use the spells inside, could open the book and read it. Not to mention that the whole book was written in Draconic.

So why would someone steal a book they couldn’t read?

Because they were petty, idiotic children. That’s why.

And it wasn’t even that they had stolen the book that made Elizabeth so angry, it was the fact that they had somehow convinced Zatanna to help them. Stargirl, Batgirl, and their following of moronic, braindead ditzes had stolen the book and told Zatanna that they were holding an ‘interdimensional scavenger hunt’ with Elizabeth. They assured Zatanna that Elizabeth knew all about this and of course she’ll be fine with it! It was her idea after all!

So Zatanna opened a portal to a random dimension and dropped the book right into it.

As she recalled the memory, Elizabeth’s snarl developed into a full on growl. Her fangs were poking out and her ears were lowered close to her head. Who was it that had taught Zatanna how to open a portal in the first place?! Elizabeth. Who had searched endlessly for a way to free Zatanna’s father?! Elizabeth! And who made sure that Zatanna had a someone to talk to and train with?! ELIZABETH.

She wanted to scream. How could she?! Zatanna knew what those girls were like and she still helped them!

Elizabeth stopped and took a deep breath. She had to calm down. There was nothing to be gained from loosing her temper.

Elizabeth was the protector of the Multiverse, so she was able to find where her “friends” had sent the book. The portal had opened into,

a museum?

Strange.

There were some info slips on a desk nearby.

‘The American Museum of Natural History’

Okay, now that Elizabeth knew where she was, it was just a matter of finding the book. She took out a crystal and said a quick divining spell. The crystal flew out until there was no slack on it’s string and started pulling Elizabeth towards her stolen property. It was only a matter of time before she reached her destination.

The artifact restoration room.

Elizabeth tried the door. It was locked. Of course it was. This was a large institution with thousands of valuable artifacts. Unfortunately, no lock could stop Elizabeth. With a flick of her wrist the lock clicked and the door opened. She walked into the large room and eased herself between the tables of artifacts.

No, no, no, AH HA! There it was! Elizabeth gently picked up the book and checked it over for any damage. It was just as she last saw it, well, maybe a bit cleaner.

The historians who were studying the book had made notes. Elizabeth picked them up and read through them quickly. They had made very little progress determining anything besides how old the book was. The historian’s note also said that they had received the book three days ago. Ah. That meant that this dimension’s time flow was faster than hers. It also seemed that this world was a few years behind. While it was 2016 in her world, it was 2006 here. No matter. It wasn’t like she’d be spending a lot of time here.

Now that she had her book, it was time to go. Elizabeth destroyed the notes and placed a memory fog charm on the room, so that who ever knew about the book would walk into the room and forget all about it. As she started to walk out, she felt bad. All these people were working hard to decode this mysterious artifact, and now it was gone and they wouldn’t even remember. Elizabeth couldn’t just leave without leaving something in return. After all, they took excellent care of her book for her. So she wandered about, looking at various artifacts and items, until she came to a large stone slab. It just happened to be written in a dialect of Inca that she understood. So, she wrote a key and aged the paper so it looked like something someone had missed. Now they’d have no trouble decoding this dialect again!

Feeling quite proud of herself, Elizabeth started making her way to the exit. However, she had neglected to watch the time. She had entered the museum just after it had closed, and that had been an hour ago. Suddenly, Elizabeth felt a great surge of magic, and then all the exhibits came to life. She was stunned. She’d seen animation magic before, but never on this scale. It was remarkable.

There was just one problem. None of the exhibits had ever seen anything like her either. There was no way of knowing how they’d react. It seemed that Elizabeth’s only option was to take the back way. So she placed her book into her bag and started carefully making her way out. She was doing fine until she heard hooves. She looked around and saw that there were stairs leading to the second floor, just to her right. Elizabeth had no choice, she had to go up those stairs.

With a powerful jump she cleared the railing and trotted briskly into the adjacent wing. (It should be noted that Drega’s idea of going up stairs, is jumping high enough to sail over the railing, avoiding the stairs altogether)

She continued on and found herself in the Egyptian wing of the museum. It would’ve been a pleasant surprise, if not for the sudden cacophonous wailing that filled the air. Elizabeth didn’t hesitate and bolted toward the source of the sound. Her somewhat shocking appearance aside, someone was in danger and she was going to save them damn it!

She raced along the corridors, the wailing getting louder by the minute, until she came to the source. In the wall was a huge hall, leading to a temple-like area. And at the end of this temple was a sarcophagus.

The wailing was coming from inside it.

Elizabeth froze. She’d seen living mummies before. They weren’t pretty. Or nice. OR ANYTHING REMOTELY GOOD. AT ALL. The sarcophagus was locked, she could see that from where she was standing. That would lead one to believe that whatever was in there, was supposed to stay in there. She started to back away, but the wailing became worse. Who or whatever was in that box was supremely unhappy with their current situation, and Elizabeth couldn’t just leave them there.

The shear amount of desperation in their voice.......

It was heartbreaking.

There was no doubt in her mind anymore that this was no unstoppable force of evil. It was a person, trapped, and alone,and they needed her help.

Elizabeth charged forward, ignoring the giant Anubis statues, and lifted the stone slab off of the sarcophagus as if it weighed nothing. Then she extended her index finger’s claw and cut the locks and pins off. As soon as the last pin was released, the lid of the sarcophagus flew into the wall and slid to the ground with a thud.

A figure wrapped in linen sat up slowly and looked around. Elizabeth jumped back, into the shadows, and waited. She could now tell that the figure was male, based on his smell and his body shape.

The man stood up and stepped out of the box. He started unwrapping the bandages covering his face. When he finished, he coughed and a large cloud of dust was expelled from his mouth. Just how long had he been in there? He looked directly at her and said,

“You would not believe how stuffy it is in there”.

Elizabeth blinked and then snorted a bit.

This caught the attention of the man. He smiled brightly. All he could see of his rescuer was a pair of glowing silver eyes with vertical pupils. He was curious.

“I have been trapped in there for quite a while. I would very much like to see who rescued me.”

Elizabeth shifted uncomfortably.

“I, uh. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

The man tilted his head and inquired, “Why not?”

Elizabeth sighed and explained, “Most people that haven’t met me before, have a, um, strong reaction to me”.

“What kind of reaction?”

“Screaming, gasps of shock and dismay, fainting. That sort of thing”.

He looked surprised for a moment before smiling gently and saying,

“Perhaps you have not met the right people yet. I can promise you with absolute certainty that I will not scream, faint, or gasp in dismay at your appearance. It’s the least I can do”.

He seemed so sincere. And he did have a right to see who let him out......

“Okay”, Elizabeth conceded.

She carefully walked into the light and stopped in front of him. She braced herself for the gasp or the screaming, but it never came. He smiled. A massive grin in fact.

“There. That wasn’t so hard now was it?”, he asked.

“You....You’re not afraid of me? How?”

“You haven’t given me any reason to be afraid of you. So I don’t see any reason why should be”.

Elizabeth was stunned. Everyone she’d ever met had been at least a little scared the first time they saw her, but not him.

“Ah, how rude of me. I haven’t introduced myself. I am Ahkmenrah, fourth king of the fourth king, ruler of the land of my fathers. Might I have the honor of knowing the name of my rescuer?”

Elizabeth smiled a bit and replied with an equal amount of gusto,

“I am the mighty Drega! Protector of the weak, and defender of the innocent. But that’s just the name I use when I’m doin my job. My real name is Elizabeth.”

Ahkmenrah bowed lowly and replied,

“Mighty Drega, protector of the weak, defender of the innocent, I thank you for freeing me! In return for your valor, I offer you anything you desire”, He gestured around the room, “Choose, and it shall be yours”.

She looked around and answered,

“It’s all beautiful, but there’s nothing here that I want.”

Ahkmenrah’s smile faltered and he insisted, “Surely there is something you want. I must reward you. I have been trapped in that, that, prison, for so long. I thought I’d never escape. Please, isn’t there anything, anything at all, that you would like?”

Elizabeth thought for a moment. She thought about her so called friends and how she got to this place. It occurred to her that she did want something, though, she didn’t know if Ahkmenrah would be willing to part with it.

“I want you to be my friend. I’ve never met someone who didn’t flinch at the sight of me, or who didn’t look ready to run away from me. I understand if you don’t want to.”

Ahkmenrah looked up at Elizabeth and said

“That is something you need not ask for. I was your friend the moment you freed me Drega.”

She beamed, “Thank you, Ahkmenrah. Oh, and you can call me Elizabeth. I told you that’s what my friends call me.”

“You are most welcome. And you may call me Ahk or Ahkmen. That’s what my friends and family used to call me.”

“Ahk it is then! Now, would you mind telling me more about all of this?”, Elizabeth gestured to the museum.

“Absolutely, my friend.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been four days since Elizabeth had freed Ahkmenrah from his sarcophagus. She had come to visit him everyday after, and he had quickly become her best friend. And she, his.

They had decided early on to keep their respective existence a secret from the other inhabitants, particularly after an incident the day after where the new night guard and Theodore Roosevelt came to Ahk’s tomb. The former president had taunted the pharaoh. Not that he knew that the wailing was simply a voice recording designed to keep people away.

Elizabeth had made herself and Ahk invisible to everyone in the museum, just in case, and after that, she was glad she did. She was appalled by their behavior. Ahk was touched that she was so offended on his behalf, but he assured her that he forgave them. He knew their reasons and he understood, he didn’t like them, but he understood.

Ahk had been astonished at Elizabeth’s skill in magic. The first time she made comfortable chairs appear out if thin air, he couldn’t stop talking about it. He asked her questions endlessly, and asked her to do more. She obliged him, and he was certain he’d never tire of seeing her do such incredible things.

She was happy to do it of course. He was so fascinated by it, how could she refuse? It was nice to be able to be herself completely, magic, fangs, and all.

Now, Elizabeth was returning to the museum, but when she got there, she knew something was wrong. She was a bit late, so she expected Ahk to be thrashing and wanting to be let out, but there was nothing. The whole museum was silent. Elizabeth had thought about opening the sarcophagus, but Ahk had made her promise to never open it during the day.

She understood why. But that still didn’t change the fact that something was wrong! She decided to check the tablet instead, only to find that it wasn’t there. Well that explained it. If the tablet was missing, then naturally, the exhibits would be dormant. Ahk included.

Fortunately, Elizabeth had spent enough time near the tablet that she could feel it’s magic, and from what she could feel, it was still in the building. It must be turned off. Rather than blindly charging to the tablet’s location, she used a special magic ability: farsight. With it, she could see across long distances, but only if she knew exactly what she was looking for.

She followed the signal, and she could see the tablet, and all of the people in the room. There were three old men, the new night guard, and Elizabeth presumed, the night guard’s son. The boy had the tablet, and his father was trying to get him to turn the middle piece. The old men were trash talking the guard.

Oh, now Elizabeth recognized those men. They were the old night guards. The ones who caused Ahk so much pain. Her eyes narrowed, and a low growl escaped her throat. Those men would pay for what they’ve done, but for now the tablet was the first priority.

“Turn the piece. Do it.”, Elizabeth mumbled.

The boy looked scared, but determined. He looked at his dad and then at the tablet. Then he turned the piece.

“Smart boy”, Elizabeth exclaimed.

She turned and picked the stone slab off the box. Ahk sat up and looked around.

“Something’s wrong”, he said.

Elizabeth leaned the slab against the wall and replied, “Ya got that right. The tablet’s been stolen”.

Ahk’s head jerked up, “Stolen?! By whom?”

Elizabeth snarled and replied lowly, “Guess”.

For a moment Ahk’s face was passive, until it clicked in his head.

“My former jailers I presume”.

“Yep.”, suddenly Elizabeth heard people approaching, “Quick! Someone’s coming!”

The two hid and Elizabeth saw the guard’s son run into the tomb. He had the tablet, but not for long. The leader of the old guards grabbed it and pushed him into the tomb. The boy’s father appeared and tried to stop them, but the old geezer with the bad attitude punched him and threw him in the tomb as well. They took the guard’s keys and locked them in.

Ahk looked at Elizabeth and whispered, “What shall we do? Those awful men have my tablet. Ra only knows what they’ll do with it.”

“We need to go after them. It’s the only way.”

Ahk’s eyes widened, “Elizabeth, if you’re seen by anyone.......”

She sighed, “I know. But it’s my job to protect people, and that includes you and this museum.”

“You’re right. But first, we should introduce ourselves to our friends.”

“No. First you should save them from the jackals~”, Elizabeth grinned.

Ahk looked and sure enough, the jackals were about to shish-kebab the guard and his son. Ahk stood and calmly commanded the jackals to back off. The guard and his son turned around.

“Uh, Hi! Thanks for um, doing that.”, the guard said.

Ahk smiled and replied, “No problem. We haven’t been introduced. I am Ahkmenrah, fourth king of the fourth king, ruler of the land of my fathers.”

Elizabeth (who had turned herself invisible) rolled her eyes. He really did introduce himself like that to everyone. When the guard, Larry was his name, tried to do an equally impressive intro of himself, Elizabeth was having an extremely difficult time trying not to laugh.

“Anyways, how did you, um, get out? Last I checked you were still”, Larry pointed to the sarcophagus, “In there.”

“Actually, I’ve been released since you started working here”.

“What?!”, Larry exclaimed, “Who let you out?!”

Ahk smirked and looked at Elizabeth.

“A box of junior mints says they gasp”.

Elizabeth grinned and said, “I say Larry will, but Nicky won’t”.

“You’re on”.

Elizabeth lowered the invisiblity spell. Larry made an inhuman squeak in the back of his throat, but Nicky didn’t gasp at all.

“Cool!”, Nicky yelled, looking up at the winged creature.

After a few more introductions, and breaking the door (”You could have just unlocked it” “I know, but it was more fun to destroy it~”), the strange group was on their way!

They found the museum in utter chaos.

The Huns appeared and as it happened, Ahk could speak Hun. Cool. Then they released Sacagawea, who Teddy Roosevelt was in love with. Neat. Then to the miniatures who were fighting, like the rest of the museum. Larry tried to get everyone’s attention, but it was no use.

Elizabeth, being tired of the situation, roared at them. Some people fell down. The civil war dudes were shivering.

“Serves you right!”, Elizabeth yelled, “This man is trying to help you and all you wanna do is fight, fight, FIGHT! If we don’t get the tablet back NOW, everyone in this museum will CEASE TO EXIST. So listen up.” Elizabeth looked at Larry, “Go ahead.”

Larry explained the plan, and everyone got to work. Using farsight, Elizabeth could estimate the general area that each old man was in. Soon, two were down.

One to go.

They went outside, and Sac tracked Cecil. (They found out all their names from Larry) Suddenly, Elizabeth heard hoofbeats, lots of them.

“Cecil has the stagecoach!”, Elizabeth roared.

But by the time anyone heard her, Teddy was half the man he used to be. He had saved Sac at least. But now what to do? They still had to catch up with Cecil and the stagecoach. Larry had a plan, it was crazy, but it just might work.

Larry borrowed Teddy’s horse Texas, and Nicky and Ahk rode Rexy, the living T-Rex skeleton. (Elizabeth had nearly lost her mind when she saw him. “HE’S SO ADORABLE. AHK LOOK AT HIS WITTLE FACE~” “Little?!)

Elizabeth, meanwhile, was flying after them. Her wings were too large for her to fly right beside the stage, but Elizabeth could divebomb Cecil if all was lost. Yes, Elizabeth was crazy enough to dive into the stagecoach to stop it.

Thankfully, that wasn’t necessary. The tablet was returned to it’s rightful owner, and all the exhibits were on their way back to the museum. When they got back Ahk helped Larry count all the exhibits and make sure they were all there. Eventually, he took a break and pulled Elizabeth aside.

“Thank you, for helping us get the tablet back.”

“It was my pleasure.”

Ahk frowned, “I suppose this is it then. Now that everyone knows about you, you’ll erase their memories and leave”.

Elizabeth was shocked.

“Where on Earth did you get that idea? I’m not going anywhere.”

“You mean, You’ll stay? Even though the whole museum knows about you?”

Elizabeth smirked, “Someone’s gotta keep you outta trouble”.

Ahk couldn’t help himself, he rushed forward and gave Elizabeth the biggest hug he could. Surprised by the sudden hug, Elizabeth made a very odd noise, and proceeded hug Ahk back and blush madly.

Ahk thought that the noise was adorable, that she was adorable. He didn’t want to let go of her. She didn’t wanna let go either, but they had too. As they made their way back inside to clean up the museum, Ahk knew one thing for certain: he was madly in love with his best friend. Now if only she would feel the same way. No. She was a being of extraordinary power and grace, a goddess, and he was a dead man with nothing to offer, or so he thought.

Elizabeth was also experiencing a moment of clarity, but she was not happy about it. She didn’t want to be in love damn it! She’d had her heart broken so many times.....

No. Ahk wasn’t like them. He was better than that, but he’d never feel that way about her.

Or would he?

The End

For now~

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

COTW 23 - full

Holding Viren, Levi was pacing back and forth in the family waiting area. Eren had already been in surgery for 8 hours, and he was still yet to hear anything about his husband's health. Doctor Reed had suggested he wait back at the hotel, and that she would call when the procedure was over, but Levi couldn't bare to bring himself to leave. He didn't want to be unable to get to Eren in time... Hushing Viren as he started wake, Levi wished someone would pick him up and carry him around. He was dead on his feet, but if he sat, he'd never get back up. Eren hadn't had a great flight down, due to a panic attack that had resulted in him sedated. When he'd woken at Mitras Royal, his husband had been severely disoriented and groggy. He'd begged Levi to take him home, and grown agitated over the lack of rings on his finger, taking hours to come back to reality as the drugs left his system. Having spent the whole night before Eren's flight at the hospital with his omega, then going straight to spending a flight being serenaded with Viren's stunning "operatic" vocals, and topping the trifecta with a terrified Eren, Levi was tired, smelly, exhausted to the point of nausea and nursing a headache greater than Viren's ability to scream. He knew Viren couldn't help the pain in his ears that came from flying, but out of everyone on the plane, only one little old beta woman had been happy to help. The rest of the passengers getting mad at the three year old for something he couldn't help or understand. By the twelve hour mark, Levi was wondering if they'd forgotten he existed. He'd given up pacing, thanks to his knees threatening to give out, and thanks to having to take Viren to the bathroom, and for food. His paranoia left him wondering if they'd come to find him, then found that he wasn't there and assumed he'd left. His arse was numb, his back hurt like a bitch and his eyes burned from a lack of sleep, but there was no way he was going home. 16 hours after kissing Eren goodbye as he wheeled away, Doctor Reed finally came to find him. The woman looked as bad as he felt "Levi" Rising to his feet, she gestured for him to sit. Levi's heart was hammering as he did "How... how is he?" "It was a hard and difficult surgery. Separating the tumour wasn't easy..." Oh god... oh... fuck... this was it... Eren had... he was... Levi's eyes filled with tears, Doctor Reed placing her hand on his shoulder "... and we were unable to remove the entirety of the tumour, however, we did remove over 80 percent of the tissue. Now. There were some complications, extending procedure time. The pup went into distress which is why we didn't remove the tumour in its entirety, the second twin then slipping into distress from the extended surgery..." Reed paused, Levi was getting over these pauses real fucking fast "Eren?" "Eren crashed on the table, suffering a major bleed as we were closing. We closed the bleed, and got his heart back into normal sinus rhythm, but we've placed him in a medically induced coma to relieve the pressure on his body. The next 48 hours are going to be critical. We'll be monitoring both pups very closely, as well as Eren for clots, preterm-labour, or secondary bleeds. We won't know if there are any lasting effect from the bleed, until he wakes" Levi felt as if he'd been dumped into an ice bath. His stomach clenching so hard that vomited into his mouth "Now. I know you're anxious to see him, but we have him a sterile room to lower risk of infection, and we will be keeping him under until we are absolutely sure he is strong enough to be brought back out. You need to go home and rest" Rest... how could he rest? "I know everything I said is scary, but it was nothing outside the realms of possibilities we knew may occur during this procedure. I'm also not sugar coating it, because I know you'd be insulted if I did. So the best thing you can do for Eren, is to go back to your hotel and rest" "I want to see him" "That's not currently possible" "I... I don't care if I can't talk to him, I need to see him... he's... my husband" Reed took a long breath in through her nose "Please. I need to see he's out of surgery" "You won't be able to communicate with him, and the amount of equipment surrounding him may be alarming" "I know. I'm prepared for that. But I still need to see him. We've come all this way. He's in a city and hospital he doesn't know. Having a surgery he was scared shitless over, and now you tell me he died on table. I need to... see him" Reed softened "I can give you a few minutes, but you have to promise me you'll rest" Levi nodded quickly "Alright, come with me" Forced to stand on the outside of the room, Eren was locked away from him. His omega's room was directly across from nurses station, which was generally reserved for the riskier of patients. Normally doctor's liked their patiences to come out of anesthetiser naturally, but there Eren was. Surrounded by monitors, his stomach bare and other than the small sensor pads placed across his swell to monitor the vitals of their pups. Levi found no relief at the sight of Eren like that. He looked too thin, and far too pale "Levi?" Blinking, he realised Reed had placed her hand on his shoulder again "My team is the best on the whole island. He is in very good hands here" "He looks like a doll" "He may be pale, but he did just go through a 13 hour procedure. Even unconscious, surgery is a heavy burden on the body, and there is a risk of infection. Being in a coma is the best thing for him right now" So they had left him waiting... They'd left him to stew in his own misery "He'll wake up again, won't he?" "We have no reason to doubt he won't once the drugs are weaned from his system. He will be weak, but if all goes well, he'll be home by the 28th" Levi nodded, swapping Viren to his opposite hip. He and Eren had married on the 13th, it was now the 17th or was maybe even the 18th... Eren was due to remain in Mitras until the 21st, then to be transferred back to Shinganshima. He didn't see Eren being home by the 28th, nor did he see him testifying on the 6th of March like Floch had organised... Eren wanted to take the stand as it would be the states lawyers questioning him this time, and giving him a chance to explain his life in his own words. Floch was sitting on the pushing incident, which left Levi furious, yet the man had restated that he had a plan "Now. The best thing for you is sleep" Levi nodded, he didn't want to take his eyes off Eren. The three rings and the two wolves he wore around neck felt incredibly heavy, almost like a hangman's noose. If anything else were to happen... he'd lose his head "Thank you... and thank you for... for saving them..." "You're welcome. I never promised this would be easy, but we all came through the other side in one piece. Are you alright to get home from here?" "Yeah... yeah, I've got it covered" "Then no doubt I'll see you soon" "Thank you..." Back at the hotel, Levi crashed hard. Getting Viren, and himself, showered and changed used up the last of his energy reserves. Turning the TV on and setting it to low for the background noise, he pulled his son into bed with him. Viren wasn't a happy camper, not after a whole day at hospital with being able to run and play, but Levi wasn't about to let him go loose in a hotel room, even if the door was weighted and chained. He needed the soft warmth of his son against him. He needed to know he was safe, no matter how many whines and grabby fingers to the face he took in the process. Sleeping came easy, the hard part was when Viren woke him early demanding food. The boy had somehow rid himself of his nappy, and pants, and all managed to make one hell of a mess of their hotel room. Ordering room service, Levi was ready for another however many hours of sleep he'd gotten. Chasing Viren down and getting him back into a pair of pants, his son promptly pulled them back down, before attempting another break for it. It wasn't fair how much energy toddlers had... or maybe he was just getting old. Breakfast was another trying experience. The syrup from their pancakes ended up across the sheets, with strawberries smeared into the sheets for extra flavour. His cup of tea fell victim too, its appeal lost once half chewed, toddler drooled on, pancake ended up floating in it. If Eren had been there, he would have had everything under control, and the room service man wouldn't have had to deal with a toddler with his willy in his hand yelling about making it bigger, when the poor guy was just trying to do his job. Levi gave a him a decent tip, the man taking it all in good humour as Levi tried to assure him that this wasn't an every occurrence and that Viren was his son, and that he wasn't up to anything shady. When he thought about it after the fact, his awkwardness was probably what he was laughing about. Once again he found himself thinking Eren would have handled everything so much better. With too much energy for his own good, Levi googled parks on his phone. It was barely 8am, so he wouldn't be able to visit his omega for another two hours. Two more hours he would have preferred to be have used to sleep, but Viren was just too wired, and their bed was a mess. Fighting to get his son dressed, then himself, he went to scold his son for jumping on their bed, when the boy jumped on him with a joyous cry "Daddy! Cuddle Attack!" "Whoa!" Spinning round with Viren in his arms, his bad mood lifted. He wouldn't be out of his flunk until Eren was back home, but this was nice. His son didn't mean to tax his nerves or neurons, and his pure happiness was like a salve to the throbbing wound that was his worry for Eren "What do you say, you and I go to the park, then we'll find something nice to bring mummy" "Mummy!" "Do you miss mummy?" Viren nodded, his wide grey eyes questioning Levi silently "Mummy had to have a special procedure, to make sure he and your little siblings are alright. But he loves you, very much and he's going to be ok" "Can mummy come to the park?" "Not today, baby. But he's going to want hear all about all the fun things you've been doing" "Daddy, why does mum always have to be sick?" "Mummy doesn't want to be sick, but this special procedure is to make him better..." "I don't like it" "I know. How about we get a special gift you can give mummy? And when he's all better, you can tell him how much you love him" "I do" Kissing Viren forehead, he nodded "That's my boy... let's head out to the park" His mind really wasn't on playing, but without other children there, his son had latched onto him. He stubbornly demanded Levi watched as he climbed up the half dozen ladder rungs, so he could slide down a slide as long as Levi's leg. Whoever had designed the park, had definitely not thought about kids at all. The playground was only a slide and a couple of swings, half hidden in the ridiculously perfect grounds. It suited Mitras though, it's rich and money burning image, along with its closed society where kids were probably just thought as pretty decorations. Viren didn't really enough space to explore or enough to work off any extra energy... so he wasn't surprised when Viren came running to him and begged to go on the swings. This was only their second day in the city... he had no idea how he was going to keep Viren entertained for the rest of them. * Eren kept him waiting, his husband had been showing signs of waking all day, but it was 9 hours after he first started to stir that Eren's eyes finally opened. As feared there'd been a few complications. The pups vitals had dipped so low they thought they may have to deliver them ahead of time, before gradually improving, but not before Levi just about collapsed on the spot. Then an infection had started to form along the edge of surgery site. A hair follicle irritated by a stitch, but it was enough to scare the shit out of him again. Kept under for a third day, Eren's system was flooded with antibiotics, and the fourth day after his operation, he was finally weaned off the barbiturates. Hitting the call button, Levi rose and grabbed Eren's hand, as Eren's heart rate began to rise with panic "Shhh. It's the breathing tube, don't fight it... you're ok" Blinking at him, Eren's whole face softened. Though his gaze was unfocused, his husband knew he was there, his struggling lessening "You kept me waiting beautiful.... shhh, don't fight the tube. You're ok... you're ok, bright eyes" Eren weakly squeezed his hand. It'd been a long four days. Especially when he'd been told Eren would be under for another day. Moved away so the tube could be removed, Eren's first move was to reach for Viren. The boy crying as he watched the tube come out, and Eren began to cough. Sitting Viren on the edge of Eren's bed, his husband smiled sleepily "H-hey..." "Rest your voice. Both know how those tubes feel" "Horrible" Levi snorted softly, moving to drag the visitors chair closer to Eren's bed before sitting. Trust Eren to try jumping right into talking again. Reaching up, he brushed Eren's hair back from his face, rubbing his forehead with his thumb as he felt himself tear up "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" Eren coughed as he shook his head, wincing slightly as he dropped his head back against the pillow. Levi's heart jumped into his throat "Eren?" "Throat" "Then rest. Let me try read your lips" Eren didn't seem convinced, but his husband was fast falling back to sleep "Pups" "Both... both are fine... I'm fine. Viren's fine and you're going to be just fine too" Eren didn't need to know anything other than that "Good... mmm, baby..." Kissing Eren's cheek, Viren blew a raspberry. Lifting the toddler back into his lap, he wasn't happy to be parted with his mum "Mummy's still recovering, here. Hold mummy's hand. He's really missed you" "Missed him too" Levi was pretty certain that wasn't the case given Eren hadn't been conscious to miss him, but the way Viren carefully held Eren's hand with both his smaller ones were adorable. Just as carefully, he laid his left cheek down on the back of it "We did a little shopping for you... He wanted to buy you half the soft toys in the store" And a million other things he grabbed off the shelves, loudly proclaiming "for mummy" each time Levi took it from his hands to return it the shelf "He's a good kid" "Yeah. A complete and total handful, but he's so much like you" "N'mm like you" Eren's eyes started to slide closed. The eyes that had haunted his dreams and teased him over how long it'd been since he'd seen them "Get some more sleep, bright eyes" "It's been a while since y' call'd me that" "I've missed seeing your eyes... I've missed all of you" "Mmm... sorry... still sleepy" "I can see that. We're not going anywhere" "Love you guys" "We love you too" Sleeping for the next few hours, the second time Eren woke, Levi took Viren out the room while the checked Eren over. His husband didn't remember their earlier conversation, but it wasn't like he'd expected him to. Given it'd gotten so late, they probably wouldn't be able to stay for that much longer. Viren was bored and sleepy. Upset mummy couldn't get up and play. Making it a mission to find his son a cookie, he managed to keep the toddler entertained for a solid half an hour, before Viren got his cookie and they returned to Eren's room. Sitting up, Eren smiled at them tiredly "Look who's awake" "Look who's filling our son with sugar" "Mummy!" Viren made a run for Eren, Levi catching him as he tripped over his own feet and nearly lost his hard earned cookie. Carrying him over to Eren, he sat down with their son in his lap "Hey, baby. That's a pretty big cookie you've got there" "I needed bribery. How do you feel?" "I'm ok... sleepy... but I'm ok" "Good. Did they say anything?" "Mmm... yeah... pups are ok... that's the main thing" "What else did they say?" "A whole heap of words..." Levi forced a laugh. What he really wanted to know was if they talked about how the surgery went, but he didn't want to upset his omega by asking "Said we'd talk about it tomorrow with... with Reed" Yawning, Eren reached out to Viren to rest his hand on his head "My baby been good for daddy?" "It's been interesting" "He's been bored" "You could say that. I never realised how much time he spent sticking his hand down his pants" Eren laughed, before groaning with pain. His hand going from Viren's head to his stomach "Eren?" "Laughing isn't so great... I feel like I'm going to burst" "No laughing. Ok..." "Mmm... skins itchy too" "You had the start of an infection, but they've got it under control" "I think they said something about that too... and bleeding... I really can't remember" "Don't try and force it..." "'m not... how about you? You look sleepy" That was so very Eren "I'm ok. You have me a bit of scare though. I'm sure my hair's more grey than black these days" "Sorry... I like your hair black" "It's fine" "Tell me what you've been up to. Have you been having fun with daddy?" Viren hid behind his cookie, Eren giving another laugh and a groan "I should know better than to ask" "We went to the park, and we've been shopping. They have a kids channel at the hotel..." "TV babysitting for the win..." "Yeah. I've been lost without you around" "I'm sure that's not true" "I let him out in public without shoes on yesterday. Completely forgot them" "I've done that before too. You're not alone" "That's nice to know... I've missed... I've missed you so much" Tearing up, Eren gave him a loving smile "Hey. I'm ok" "I was scared you wouldn't wake" "Like I'd leave my two best men alone... hey, come here" Moving Viren up to Eren's bed, Levi wrapped his arms around both his loves. Nuzzling and kissing Eren's temple, he didn't care that Eren's hair smelt or that his mate hadn't showered in days. All he cared about was holding him again. The floodgates breaking open completely "You died... you left me and you died... and I wasn't there" "Shhhh... it's ok, alpha. It's ok" "I was so fucking useless. I kept wondering if it was ok to be taking Viren to play or to go shopping. I kept thinking about you" "I know you would have. I know. But it's over now, right?" "Y-yeah..." Eren picked up on the stuttered in his word "They couldn't remove all the tumour, but they got most of it... and then you nearly... you were gone" "Shhh, Levi. Levi, it's ok. I'm ok... my poor alpha. You've been so worried, while I slept. Have you called anyone? Let them know how things are?" "N-no..." "Leeeee. You were supposed to" "I texted Mike when you came out of surgery. But... I didn't want to hear it" "You said you'd call them. I didn't want you being alone" "I couldn't. Not until you were awake. I love you... I love you so much" "I love you, Lee. And I love my baby boy... can you lift Viren? He's on my stomach" "Oh! Shit... hold on..." Viren clutched to his cookie and at Eren's hospital gown as Levi pulled him back into his hold as he sat back in the visitors chair "Better?" "Not really... I'd rather the cuddles" "When we get home, you're going to have so many cuddles that you won't know what to do" "I wouldn't mind them now. My omega's so confused over everything. It wants its alpha, and wants to kill whoever touched our pups" "I don't think Reed will appreciate that" "Nor do I. How's your alpha?" Anxious. Worried. Angry. Confused. Freaking the fuck out... "Better now you're awake" "Coming off suppressants doesn't help either" "You're supposed to be worrying about yourself, not me" "Of course I'm going to worry about my family. You guys are my everything" "And you're ours..." Knocking on the glass door, a young nurse poked her head in the room "I'm sorry, but visiting hours are coming to the end" Withdrawing before he could reply, Levi looked back to Eren. His omega having paled in the last few moments "Eren?" "'m ok" "Hey, if you don't want us to go, I can ask about staying" "No. No, you need to take Viren home. He needs a bath and it's way past his bedtime" Murmuring the words, Eren's tearing eyes betrayed him "Eren..." "It's ok. I know you guys can't stay... I'm just... feeling really clingy..." "Like I said, I can ask" Eren wiped his eyes, not stemming the running tears "No... you look tired too... and I'm not... not going anywhere" "I can't leave you like this" "I know I shouldn't be scared, but I don't know this place... it doesn't smell like home" "Shhh... it's ok. You're safe. Here, Viren hop up for a second" Lifting Viren off his lap, Levi pulled his jacket off. Not caring it wasn't hygienic as he moved to lay it under Eren's head and across his pillows "Better?" "I love your scent..." "Good. I'll..." "You should take Viren back to the hotel... He spends too much time in hospital" "I don't want to leave you" "I don't want you two sleeping here..." "What can I do? I hate seeing you crying" "Give me a kiss?" Levi was happy to oblige, the nasal cannula getting in the way as he did. Straightening it out, he smiled at his mate sadly. He hated how scared Eren was becoming "I'll be here first thing in the morning, and we'll stay the whole day. I'll bring my phone in, so you can use it if you want, or look at photos. I've taken heaps of photos because I know you love them" "I... I don't deserve you" "Oh, bright eyes. You deserve the world. And who knows, maybe I'll bring you your own huge cookie" "Reed said I can't eat solid right now" Levi frowned "When did she say that?" "Before the surgery... because of you know... giving birth out my arse" Oh... yeah... straining to take a shit might not be the best thing right now "Right. Then I'll just have to make you cookies when we get home" "I'll hold you to that... where's Viren? I want to give him a kiss" It fucking sucked to leave Eren behind. His omega looked heartbroken as he guided Viren out Eren's room. He should have insisted that Eren slept. If he'd been asleep when Levi and Viren left, then his mate wouldn't be so sad... * Eren was flown back on the 23rd of February rather than the 21st. Coughing too hard due to his irritated throat had caused a tear in his stitching, and another unexpected surgery. Even if it was a very minor bleed, he was proud that Eren caught the fact that something was wrong, and spoken up about it rather than trying to hide the bleeding. Coming back home to Shinganshima was relieving. Eren was heavily depressed over the remaining tumour mass, despite trying hard not to show it. His husband's vitals had been all over the place, and Reed wouldn't sign off on the transfer until they'd steadied and remained within suitable values for 24 hours. Viren had once again hated flying, crying from the moment the cabin pressurised, right up to the moment he was taken into Hanji's arms at the hospital. Being on home turf made it easier to keep his worry under control. Eren was back in an environment he knew, and they'd be able to have some together as they had babysitters available. Meeting him at the front of the hospital, Hanji was all smiles as cuddled with Viren "It's about time you got back" "Nice to see you, too. How's Eren?" "Popped in to see him before, but he was sleeping. The transfer went like clockwork, buuuut, you're both in the sh-shoe with me" "Oh? Why now?" Falling into step with Hanji was easy. It felt like he could breathe easier and the air all that much cleaner than it had been in Mitras "Getting married without telling anyone! I can't believe you stole my Honey away, and eloped" "Who told you? Was it Eld or Gunther?" "What?! They knew?! How come they got to know?! I wanted to throw Eren a huge wedding... did you do it right!? Was he happy!?" "We got married at the courthouse before Eren's surgery... and if it wasn't them, then who?" "It was on his transfer papers. Under personal affects was listed none as they were in the possession of his husband" "I knew I hated paperwork" "Why didn't you tell meeeeee?! Do you know how long I've been mentally planning this wedding?! How many hours I've put into the seat charts and flowers?!" "Don't worry, we still want a big wedding... Eren was scared of dying without marrying me" If he said he was just as scared, Hanji would pull the piss out of him for the rest of his life "And here I was, ready to give you shit. I can't tease you for a reason like that" "Once the trial is over and the pups are born, then we'll talk wedding. That's the agreement" "I read his updated medical records..." "And?" Pressing the elevator button, Hanji made him wait until they'd stepped inside and she'd pushed the button to the floor Eren was on before continuing "And I read about what happened... how is?" "Not happy. He's trying to hide it, but he feels guilty for not being strong enough for the whole of the tumour to be removed. Which is complete shoe. His omega's also been all over the place. He's wanted cuddles, but we got in trouble for Viren sitting on his bed, and I got us in trouble for leaving my jacket over his pillow so he'd have my scent" "Well, he's home now. Mike said he'd take Viren tonight. He also said that Titan needs to go on a diet" "He's fine the way he is... and I might take him up on that. We haven't had a chance to talk about everything. Not with little ears in the room" "How did he enjoy his holiday?" Watching the doors open, this time Levi made Hanji wait as he stepped off. Viren was practically asleep in her hold "He didn't. He wanted Eren and didn't understand why he couldn't be there. Plus, being in a hotel room most of the time left him with energy to spare. The second day Eren was awake, he talked at him for two hours straight" "I'm sooooo glad Anna's growing out of that. She's made Eren a card, but I'm not allowed to give it to him. And she's been lost without Viren" "For being your daughter, she's not as much as a pain in the arse as you are" "I know. She reminds me so much of Moblit... I'd like to take credit, but Eren has been so good with her" "Eren's really good with kids, and omegas. It's a shame he never got to put those skills to use outside of babysitting and saving omegas being attacked" "He's still young. Give it a couple of years for the pups to grow" "I know he's still young. I'm just saying..." "You're saying your smitten by everything he does" "He is my husband" "I know that. Do I get to see the wedding ring?" "Once it's back on his finger with the other two" "You've bought him half a jewellery shop... the rings, the charm bracelet, the wolves..." "Eren bought the wolves..." He couldn't deny Hanji's point though. He'd bought Eren four rings over the span of their relationship, which would possibly be around $7000 worth of jewellery... or so. But when compared to the fact that some spent that on a single ring, it really didn't seem that bad. Besides, Eren was beautiful. He'd had such a hard life and deserved pretty things. And the charm bracelet was Eren's pride and joy. A "V" added for their son, and when the next two pups came, he'd buy charm letters for both of them "Ooooooh. That makes me more sense" "Yeah. He didn't want me to give his jewellery back until we were back home. Viren's been after the wolves" Eren was awake when they walked in, giving them a small wave, Hanji raised an eyebrow "Is that all I get?" "Sorry. Hey, Hanji. How've you been?" "I've been worried about my little Sweetheart. My married, Sweetheart" Eren looked from Hanji to him "I didn't tell her. It was on your paperwork" "Oh... yeah... um... we got married" "I know. I mean. I heard. Levi said I couldn't look at the wedding ring until it was back on your finger" "That might be a while... I think they're swollen" Swollen? Since when? Eren's fingers were on the slender side. Like those of a piano player "Noooo... I want to seeeee! I can't believe you guys didn't invite me" "It was a small ceremony" "With a nice wedding night. Can I have Viren?" Walking over to Eren, Hanji set Viren down beside him. Leaving Levi to walk around the bed and sink down to sit on the other side "How do you feel? Any pain? Or discomfort?" "Hanji, you know what it's like to be pregnant. Everything hurts... and my tits are leaky" Hanji giggled "This is true. I want to take a little look at your stitches while I'm here" Levi sighed, taking Eren's hand into his. His omega's fingers didn't look swollen "Leave him alone" "I can't help it. He was gone for soooo long" Kissing the top of Viren's head, their son mumbled out "mumma" as he nuzzled into Eren's chest "How long am I going to be in here?" "A week or so. It depends if any complications arise" "Yay. I've gone from being stuck in one hospital to being stuck in another..." "At least you have all of us for entertainment..." Eren didn't look enthused or amused "Fiiiine. At least you're closer to being back home. Oh. That reminds me. I had Mike go ahead and pick a shower chair up for you, and a couple of rails in the bathroom to make getting around easier" "You didn't need to do that" "Nonsense. You're not to be on your feet for extended periods of time" "I know this" "Then you know it's for your own good, Eren" "It doesn't mean you get to rearrange Levi's apartment while he's not home" It wasn't just his apartment. He'd noticed the changes in Eren's speech that directly related to his omega's mental state. If he was upset, Eren tried to back away from things. It became Levi's room, Levi's apartment and Levi's son. Thankfully, Hanji hadn't or she'd be making Eren even more uncomfortable "He doesn't mind. Your health is our number one priority. Over the next few days, you'll be resting. We'll be performing ultrasounds daily, as well as monitoring you closely. I know you're sick to death of having no privacy and of being poked at... but this is for your own wellbeing and that of the pups. We need to know the second something doesn't feel right or normal" Eren let out a faint whine, Levi squeezing his hand hard "Stop scaring him" "I'm just explaining so he knows what's going on" "You can do that without scaring him" "Guys... that's enough. I think I want to get some more sleep" "Mike is going to look after Viren tonight, because we both know Levi isn't going to want to leave you" "He should go home" "I'm not going anywhere" "Titan and Viren need you" "And they're both going to be taken care of... we haven't had a chance to talk since the surgery" "I don't really feel like talking. I'm still tired from the flight" Hanji caught his eye, her frown obvious "I'm fine. I just need to sleep off the meds and stuff. Levi, you should take Viren home" "I'm staying with you" "Levi" "Eren. I'm staying and that's final. You're husband and I've been worried sick about you. We're home and Mike is happy to look after Viren" "No fighting you two. Eren, I want to take a look at those stitches now, then I'll let you sleep" "Not with Viren in the room..." "Alright. Let me get Mike and we'll figure this out" Eren's stitches didn't look great. That wasn't to say that whoever closed the wound hadn't done a nice job. It was more that he hated that Eren needed them to begin with. The bruising had mostly faded, and the edges had started to scar closed. Replacing the wound dressing, Hanji hummed as she worked "It looks good. The infection has cleared up nicely... you've got a little bit of flaking which is probably itchy as hell, so I'll get some cream for that..." "So, he's ok?" "Yep. You'll have a scar, but things look really good to me" "No signs of another bleed?" "Nope. The bruising and swelling will pass, and we'll find out the rest when we give you an ultrasound" Eren had his eyes closed during Hanji's examination. Breathing through his nose, his husband looked as if he was trying his hardest to fake being asleep "Thanks, Hanji. Is... am I allowed to lay next to him?" "You'll need to be careful not to jostle him, and you'll need to avoid placing any pressure at all on his stomach. For now, I would prefer if you remained sitting by his side until after the ultrasound" "Alright. I'm not going anywhere anyway" "We all know that. I'll try to be here for the ultrasound, then we can find you a blanket or two" Nodding, Hanji flashed him a large smile as she started cleaning up the mess she'd made "It really is good to have you back. Anna is going to be so excited to see you again. She's been asking about you everyday and how "Uncle Eren's babies" are. I'm off for a couple of hours tomorrow around lunch, so I'll bring lunch in with me. You're probably sick to death of hospital food" "They've had him on soft foods" "That makes sense. I know a great place that does an amazing array of desserts. I'm sure I can find a few things" Eren let out a nasally sigh "Ok... can I go to sleep now?" "Sure thing. Levi, you're in charge of watching over him" "Like I'd do anything else" "I don't need a babysitter" "You do too. Besides, I don't want to be the one to make Levi leave. You might not know it, but he's scary" "Mmm... I've been told... I think I need to sleep for like a year" "You can't sleep for a year, there's the trial and then there these two than need to come out. And this little one of mine. Nope. Sorry. No can do" "Can I sleep for a month?" "There's still the trial, Honey" Levi wanted to smack Hanji for being stupid enough to bring the trial up, but then... Eren laughed softly "Damn. Foiled again..." "I know. But you're home now. We're going to get you through this, and that's final" "Yes, mum. Now let me sleep" "You'd be asleep if you didn't keep talking" "Then stop talking to me" "You're the one talking to me" "Fine. Good night" "Goodnight, sleep tight. Don't let the big bad alpha bite" "Mmm... ok" When Hanji left, Levi sighed "Do you want to tell me what you're thinking?" "I'm sleepy" "Eren, I'd like to think I know a little something about my own husband by now. I know you're pulling away, and I want to know why" When Eren didn't answer right away, Levi squeezed his hand "It's the pup. I know it's the pup. Bright eyes, it's not your fault they had to end the procedure" Eren replied flatly "How do you know that?" "Because Reed said as much. The pup was going into distress, so she made the call. And yes, you're going to have a caesarean, but you were going to have one anyway" "I... it feels like all this... was for nothing... it was supposed to fix it... and it didn't... fix anything" Releasing Eren's hand, Levi moved to pull his husband against him "That's not true... that's not true at all" "Tell me how that isn't true. He's going to need more surgery... and he's still got that tumour attached to him..." "Oh, so it's a he now. I thought we weren't finding out" Eren sniffled, his scent was all over the place, as if his omega really couldn't understand how to feel "I don't know... but... they need more surgery. I'm sick of our pup needing more surgery. It's not fair. They didn't do anything wrong. The only thing they've done wrong is have me for a mother" "That's not true. You're an incredible mother" "An... an incredible mother who died on the operating table... I ruin everything" "You had a bleed, which was not your fault. You'd just had a mammoth procedure done. You haven't ruined a single thing. Yes. The pup will need more surgery once they're born, but, with a decrease in tumour mass, less of everything they need to grow will be going into it. It's going to ease the pressure on his systems, and make things easier until he's born. Eren, you're an amazing mum. This world is filled with people who don't care about their children. Most people would have aborted, but you wanted them to have a chance to live. To experience everything and to be happy" "But what if something else is wrong? What if he's wrong? What if when he's born, he's... he can't look after himself" "No baby can look after its self" "You know what I mean!" "Then, we'll figure it out" "Not everything can be figured out. What kind of quality of life is there if he's nothing more than... than a vegetable..." "Hey... we don't know that... and, if something were to happen, we both know how hard you fought for him to have a normal and good life. I mean it Eren. You're the reason our family functions. When I'm with Viren, I'm still scrambling to figure out how to make him happy and how to keep him entertained. I don't know how to calm him down, or anything like that... I thought I was doing a good job at being a father, but these past few months taught me, and showed me, how much of a failure I had been" "You're not a failure... you had to work" "While I kept leaving the pair of you home alone" "He's too young to remember. But you had to work. I got it..." "You shouldn't have to get it. I realised something when I took Viren to the park. All those times we were sick, you nursed us like it was nothing... but unless you couldn't hide it, you hid being sick from us, didn't you?" "It's what a parent does... Viren didn't understand... you were busy... so I had to..." "I'm sorry, Eren. If I could back in time, I would..." "You had to work... and it wasn't always bad... Hanji let me stay there sometimes... or Mike would come check on me if she was busy" "And I had no idea" "I asked them not to tell. You had a really hard job. You didn't need to be worrying over something like me" "You're not a thing. You're my husband. My husband who I wished would be more selfish and tell me the things he wants and needs" "I want this all to be over... I'm so scared that I'm going to sneeze and go into labour... Mitras was so fucking scary at night... but I didn't want to be even more of a burden on you. I'm sick of it" "You're not a burden. You're stubborn and frustrating, but you're not a burden... and soon these two little ones will be part of our family, and the pain of all of this will fade to a memory" "I want a girl... but... I don't know. I don't want Anna to be jealous" "I think Anna would be thrilled if you had a girl. Viren was the one who didn't want a sister" "That's because he only had girls to play with... I want a brother for him... so he can feel what it is to have a brother who loves you..." "So you want a girl and a boy, that sounds pretty perfect to me" "Sometimes I wonder what the other pup would have been..." "I do to. But I don't care if they're male or female, I only care that their mother is safe and heathy" "You're supposed to care about them" "I do. But I can't run this family the way you can. And if you're safe and healthy, so are they" Eren nodded, sniffling louder as he tried to calm down "It's just so frustrating" "I know it is. I know, but I'm here with you" "I'm sorry for making you worry... I haven't been able to calm down since the surgery... everything in my head... I can't work it out" "Unlike Mitras, no one is stupid enough to tell us off or separated. After the ultrasound, I'm going to curl up in this bed with you, and cuddle the fuck out of you" "I... I want that so fucking much... I've been really lonely" "Not anymore. Anyone who tries to seperate, I'll hand Viren off to when he's mid tantrum" "That's cruel" "He throws some impressive tantrums" "Anna's were just as bad when she was his age. One time she found a pair of scissors and gave herself a hair cut, then screamed herself hoarse when Hanji took the scissors off her. Another time, Hanji gave her the wrong fork, so Anna threw her food at her. It ended with Anna on the floor screaming as she smacked her spilt dinner" "Oh... wow..." "Mhmmm" "And we have two more tantrum machines coming" "Aren't you glad you quit work for this?" "I'm starting to wonder..." Eren let out a tiny laugh "If you want to go back, I won't blame you. You're the kind of person who has to always be busy" "I'm pretty sure I'm going to be plenty busy" "What I mean is, you need the job or a job too..." "Who knows. I could be the house husband and you could get the job" "I tried... I tried really hard before I found out I was pregnant. No one wants to hire omega's. One guy yelled at me for wasting his time. One guy told me I could have a job if I let him fuck me in front of everyone in the cafe it was at... the only job I could maybe get again would be as a dancer and you don't want me to show my body off..." "You didn't tell me this" "Why would I?" "Because..." "Because what? It's so common it's not worth mentioning. There was one I kind of wanted. It was just an office job, but it was the kind of place I never thought I'd be able to even get an interview at. The problem was, they wanted someone with a higher education... but you get that" "I..." "I don't want to talk about it anymore. I think I want to nap" This time, Levi let Eren get away with it. Despite his protesting muscles and aching back, Levi remained hunched over and awkwardly hugging Eren until his husband actually fell asleep. The fact that no one wanted to hire someone like Eren, left him sick to his stomach. Anyone would be lucky to be working with Eren. He cared deeply about those around him, and was always working hard to improve himself and the things he took an interest in... yet society had spat on his again for being an omega. He may have been joking about being a house husband, on partly, but now it might really be better if Eren was the one to get a job once everything had settled down again. It'd be an enormous confidence boost for his mate. Something Eren definitely needed... but until that happened, maybe Eren would be interested in going back to school and learning something new? Levi had been thinking he should probably look at retraining too, so maybe they could find something to do together?

[bkwrm523]

So, this was supposed to be submitted to @imaginemycroftholmes , but my desktop is being obnoxious about it.  Posting it and tagging them, with permission.

Name: Sara

Age (note that if you are under the age of consent your score will be significantly lower for Marriage, Friendship and Partnership): 30

Gender: Female

Occupation: Administrative Assistant (fancy way of saying secretary)

Nationality: USA

Country of origin: USA

Personality type (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator): INFP

Education: Bachelor’s degree

Marital Status (if not applicable put N/A): Not married

Number of children (if not applicable put N/A): 0

Who would you shoot out of John, Sherlock, Mycroft and why: Mycroft.  The Holmes brothers are more likely to understand if I’ve been forced into it.  Sherlock tends to be a bit more emotional and unpredictable than Mycroft.  Also, Sherlock’s been shot a few times, that we know of, and Mycroft hasn’t (that we know of), so I think it’s Mycroft’s turn (it said “shoot”, not kill.  I have terrible aim and I’ve never used a gun; Mycroft is probably safe)

Height: 5’2 (of sass and insecurity)

Position in the family (oldest, youngest, middle): youngest, only non-firstborn in my immediate family

Best subject: Literature

Favorite Subject: Literature or History

Worst subject: Math

Last song listened to: Rag doll by Aerosmith

Favorite color: Purple

Thoughts on Molly and Sherlock’s impending relationship: If they’re finally hooking up, then I’m super happy for them!

Illness/allergies/impairments: I suspect I’m autistic, and I have anxiety and depression.  They’re both usually under control.

Last sentence uttered to another living human being: Where’s the turkey?

Hair color/length: short (about chin length when I remember to get it trimmed often enough).  Natural color is a very nice dark brown, but I usually dye it red.  I’ve considered dying it purple, but it hasn’t been possible so far due to my job.  Maybe in the future.

Who do you feel more sympathy for Sgt. Donovan or Anderson’s wife: Anderson’s wife.  I’m not exactly the most informed in the situation, but Sgt. Donovan hasn’t seemed to show any remorse when she’s wronged someone, has a bizarre vendetta for Sherlock, and probably knew Anderson was married when she got involved with him (okay, I’m guessing on a lot of these).  The only thing I know about Anderson’s wife, is that her husband cheated on her.  Possibly my opinion would change if I knew more.

Eye color: Blue

Constantly cold, hot or prefect: Usually hot. (meaning I prefer colder temperatures, to clarify)

Seven Noteworthy skills (ex: can play an instrument, fire most guns, ride a unicycle, etc.): I’m a pretty good liar (probably not by the standards of Sherlock or Mycroft, but I can fool the average person).   I’m a decent gamer (PC).   I don’t speed-read, but I’m a pretty fast reader. I’m not good at coming up with positive things about myself. I’m a very good reader - I read Hamlet by myself when I was 12 just to prove that I could.  Read a couple other advanced books at a young age to prove that I was good at it. I’m a writer - I don’t have much inborn talent, but I’ve worked really hard at it for as long as I remember, so I’ve learned to be very good at it. I’ve been dealing with mental issues (as listed above) by myself from a pretty young age, so I’m used to coming up with my own coping mechanisms.

Nine noticeable sins: (ex: moody, bad listener, selfish, etc.): I’m impatient. Shy I tend to be a bit selfish, but it’s a flaw I’ve been working on for years and am pretty good at stepping on those impulses these days. I’m not good at detecting subtleties in conversation; you often have to be blunt with me or I may not understand. I’m a second generation geek I’m not good at communicating it when I’m in emotional distress and need help I’m not good at keeping in touch with friends

Languages known/spoken: English, I can swear a little in Orcish

Cats, dogs, both or other: I don’t have any pets, but I’m a dog person and I’m allergic to cats.

How often you help your community (1 never, 2 sometimes when prompted, 3 average, 4 often, 5 weekly): 2

Favorite Holmes family member: … this feels like a trick question, so I’m gonna cheat and say Sherlock & Mycroft’s dad.

Body type (1 obese, 2 overweight, 3 averages, 4 fit, 5 skinny): 2

Number of past lovers (put N/A if virgin or not seeking marriage): N/A

Level of cleanliness (5 slobs, 4 messy, 3 average, 2 pretty clean and 1 spotless): 4

Would you rather piss off Sherlock or Mycroft: This is a really tough one, but I’m gonna say Mycroft.  They’re both reasonable people, but I feel like Mycroft is less emotional, and therefore would be easier to reason with so I could make amends.  

Rate your mental health on a scale of 1-5 with one being terrible and 5 being fine: 2.5

Rate your confidence on a scale of 1-5 with 1 being poor and 5 being Sherlock levels: 2

Combat level (1 sitting duck, 2 somewhat okay, 3 can hold their own, 4 pretty damn good, 5 a proficient fighter): 3

Circle of friends: Very very small.  About five or so people I chat with on a daily basis.

Who do you side with more Sherlock or Mycroft: … I dunno.  I don’t like to get in the middle; infp’s tend to loathe conflict and I’m no exception.  I will say I think the Holmes clan has been epically unfair to Mycroft lately.

Level of intelligence on a scale of 1-5: I’d say a three, but I think people who know me would say I’m being modest and give me a 4.  I’ll let you decide which to believe.

Who do you side with more Mycroft or Mrs. Hudson: Mrs. Hudson.

Introvert or Extrovert: Introvert.

Political alignment: In the USA’s system, I’m an independent that leans towards democrat.  I’d rather decide each issue individually than tie myself to any one party.  The UK’s system, I’m not sufficiently familiar with to say.

Who would your rather be trapped in a long car ride with Mummy Holmes or Holmes Senior: Mummy Holmes, I guess; she’d probably be easier to have a conversation with.  I don’t think I’d mind with either of them, however.

Go to outfit for everyday: Jeans and a tshirt on my days off (tshirts I buy plain solid ones, then I buy fabric paint and stencils and put geeky stuff on them).  I have work attire that’s usually black formal pants, black modest undershirt, and a button down formal shirt in some sorta color.

Go to outfit to impress: I refer you to the formal outfit above.

5 hobbies (not to be confused with noteworthy skills): Gaming (PC), creative writing, reading (fiction), sewing, watching movies

Opinion of Rosie Watson and Mary Watson: Rosie seems like a perfectly sweet and normal baby.  I’m so sorry she lost her mom, though.  Mary, I’m glad she was happy with John at the end, and I’m so sorry it didn’t last.

Favorite music/book/movies: Music, I really don’t feel that strongly about.  I listen to heavy metal, but I wouldn’t say I have a favorite song.  Books and movies it’s the opposite problem; I love too many to pick just one.  However, I have a go-to answer to both questions for the purpose of conversation.  Favorite book - The Hobbit.  Favorite movie - Havey (to clarify, the one starring Jimmy Stewart)

How well you take rejection on a scale from 1-5: with five being the best?  I’m gonna go with 4.5.  Not a five because I’m not that overconfident.  Yeah it may hurt, but we’ve all been there before (either being rejected or doing the rejecting, whatever), and I’m an adult.  Last time I got rejected, I just said “okay”, walked away, and we remained friends for years after.  It never came up again.

Religious or religious affliations: Agnostic.  I try to be a live-and-let-live type, as long as the other person doesn’t harass me to try & convert me.

Kids or no (note this is wanting them not the ability to have them): I don’t have any at the moment for financial reasons, but I do want them one day.

Out of the Holmes family (Siger, Violet, Sherlock and Eurus) who would you kill, maim, kiss or roommate with and why:

Kill: Eurus.  I know I’m being self centered here, and I am sorry for that, but she comes off to me as a whiney baby that couldn’t take platonic rejection and decided to punish everyone for it.  Grow up. Maim:  Violet, I guess.  I don’t really have super strong negative feelings about anyone else, but she seems to have an attitude that Mycroft is less important than Eurus, and that irritates me. Kiss: Sherlock.  I can tell him it’s for a bet and kiss him on the cheek.  Also, I definitely don’t want to be his roommate; I like sleep. Roommate: Siger.  Don’t know that much about him, but he seems nice.

Do you think what Mycroft did with Eurus (at the time) was justified and needed: YES.  And his parents’ response to finding out about it all was, IMHO, immature and extremely rude.  It’s understandable that their emotions were high in the situation, but there was absolutely no excuse for taking it out on Mycroft.

Please bold the following that you wish to have with Mr. Holmes: Friendship Partnership Marriage Mentorship

A detective who was mere days away from cracking an international oil smuggling ring has suddenly gone missing. While inspecting his last-known location, officers find a note: 710 57735 34 5508 51 7718. Currently there are 3 suspects:Bill, John, and Todd. Can you break this answer and tell me the reason.  I’m gonna have to admit defeat on this one.  I could google it, but I’d rather not cheat.  I have no idea, sorry.

What belongs to you but others use it more than you do?  Your name.  Heard this one before :)

Dwayne Johnson was running away with the loot from a heist in his car along with Vin Diesel. One tire was punctured and he dropped down to replace it. While changing the wheel, he dropped the four nuts that were holding the wheel and they fell into a drain. Vin Diesel gave him an idea using which they were able to drive till the rendezvous point.  Take his loot and get into Vin Diesel’s car.  There’s no reason I can think of why they can’t share a car.  Unless you can space out the remaining nuts on the tire to hold the tire onto the car; probably wouldn’t be good enough for very long, but should be good enough to get them to the rendezvous point, or far enough to ditch the car somewhere safe.  Whichever.