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almostempty · 25 days

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Never made it as a wise man

(joel miller x f!reader)

Description: Joel solves your car troubles for free, and you try to return the favor with a homecooked meal. When you accidentally interrupt his jerkoff session, you take a chance and help him out.

Note: y’all are out here answering god’s toughest questions, like what if emotionally unavailable Joel was loved unconditionally? or what if Joel was the Mothman?, and I deeply appreciate that.

However, today, I am here to answer a question that nobody asked– What if Joel was a divorced dad rock kinda guy?

You know, like, listening to Nickelback on an old-school boombox in his garage, or unironically singing Creed on the way to work, or bonding with Ellie over Papa Roach? And also, (inspired by a genius) what if he was a little bit pathetic?

Anyway, I present to you: divorced dad rock dilf, Joel, ta-da! (my humble submission for @hellishjoel‘s hot dilf summer challenge) obvs dedicated to: @auteurdelabre

ao3: read here | masterlist: here | part 1.5 here

Tags/warnings: AU no outbreak divorced Joel x f!reader, Sarah is not mentioned, but Ellie is your adult coworker, reader is clueless about cars and so am I, gratuitous smut and horny thoughts, implied jorkin’ joel but no witnesses, hand job, fingering, premature ejaculation, touch starved kinda loserish but hot divorced dilf joel, he’s a real tiddy guy in this one and idk why it just happened, pwp, is it a crackfic? maybe, but i meant it wholeheartedly so idk

WC: 4.2k

You pull onto the long driveway, hoping to see Joel’s truck. You forgot to text first to see if he would be around, but he did tell you to come by if you ever needed anything. You mostly just hope he’ll be willing to accept your gift.

Last week, he’d helped you out by fixing your car. He told you what the issue was, but he might as well have been speaking another language when he described it. You had already brought coffee and a plate of cookies to your coworker Ellie to thank her for dragging you to Joel’s to ask for help. Being in a new town was hard enough, but you had no idea how you would handle the price for diagnostics, let alone whatever the repair would’ve cost. You tried to offer Joel the cash you had as a thanks, but he wouldn’t accept it. You tried to argue with him, but Ellie told you it wasn’t worth arguing with him. He wouldn’t budge. Instead, he had offered to change your oil for you, making you feel even more indebted to him.

At first, the most you got out of Ellie for intel on Joel was that he was the one responsible for you having to listen to “One Last Breath” and “Lips of an Angel” at ungodly early hours. Ellie claimed that her music taste was deeply influenced by Joel, and somehow, Ellie is always in charge of the music at work. When you rolled your eyes calling it divorced dad rock, she let it slip that you were right about that.

That explains a lot when you remember the brief time you spent in his house and shop. The house was clean inside but not tidy. Stray beer bottles and travel mugs dotted the counter and coffee table. But the shop had all the Divorced Dad Barbie accessories.

The project car and crates of assorted parts. The beer fridge and the plastic lawn chairs in the corner for bullshitting with whoever stopped by. The boombox on the workbench with the stack of CDs. And the fading calendar from another decade with the naked woman kneeling on the beach.

You hadn’t been able to stop your eyes from darting to her sultry expression and swimsuit model-perfect breasts when Joel had been explaining what he was going to do to your car. You wondered if the heat burning in your cheeks had given you away, but he didn’t notice then. Ellie sure did, though, and she had rolled her eyes at you, noting it had been up so long she even forgot it was there.

Luckily, Ellie didn’t notice your eyes lingering on Joel’s body. You weren’t trying to be a creep, but the way his arm flexed when he opened the hood of your car gave you some feral brand of intrusive thoughts. The ratty band t-shirt and the faded jeans were working for him, too, or at least they were doing something for you. Time slowed when your eyes trailed over his arms and down the muscles of his broad back. He just seemed so… solid. You finally understood what your friends back home meant when they said they wanted to climb a man like a tree. You had jumped a little when Ellie slammed the fridge behind you and shouted at Joel about how he can’t just live in the shop drinking shitty beer and eating beef jerky. She had grabbed your arm to drag you to the house for an iced tea while he worked.

Her comment sparked your idea. You figured Joel must be a utilitarian type. He probably lives on frozen pizzas–or even worse, those Hungry-Man frozen TV dinners–instead of making himself something fresh. Maybe he’s one of those guys who got really into smoking meats instead. Either way, you hope the lasagna you made from scratch and the other tray of cookies will be an acceptable thank you for his help. He can’t refuse it if you already made it, right?

You pull up next to a truck, assuming it’s his, and that he’s home. Before you grab the tray, you pause to check your reflection and adjust your breasts in your white tank top, making sure your cleavage pokes out as temptingly as possible.

You check yourself in the mirror with a look. Why does it matter what you look like? It’s not like you’re trying to fuck your only (almost) friend’s dad, right? Although she calls him by his first name, not Dad, so maybe there’s like a loophole or something if she’s adopted. You think about the calendar model and her perfect tits hanging on the wall over his tools. It can’t hurt to just do a little harmless flirting, right? Maybe you aren’t even his type anyway.

After knocking on the door a couple of times, you frown, wondering if he’s not home. On the way back to your car, with your head hung in defeat, your ears perk up at the sound of something clanging in the shop. Of course!

You skitter back to the front porch to leave your goods by the door and head for the shop to find that divorced DILF–Joel, you mean. It’s sweltering out, and sweat is beading on your chest after only a few minutes in the heat. The closer you get, the more easily you can make out the sound of his little CD player blasting another brooding, raspy ballad sung by a white man with a troubled love life.

The garage door is shut, so you knock on the door on the side of the building. You wait a minute before testing your luck and opening the door yourself. Assessing the shop, you don’t see your man, sorry, Joel, at first glance. The music blasts, and the calendar model gives you the same impish smirk through her false lashes and a layer of dust, but there’s no Joel. The evidence clearly dictates that he’s in here somewhere, as his tools are strung around his project, the lights are on, and a beer with a sweating label sits on the edge of the workbench.

You aren’t trying to be sneaky. You didn’t think to holler and announce your presence over the music. Plus, you didn’t fully get your bearings the last time you were here. Now, you can pick up a few more details as your eyes absorb everything they can about anything that gives you a hint about who this guy is.

The guy that’s been haunting your dreams for a week. Last week, when you walked back to the shop with Ellie to check on your car, you nearly tripped, watching Joel wipe the sweat off his face with the bottom of his shirt. You had just caught a glimpse of the trail of hair disappearing under his jeans, but it was enough to replay in your mind every night as you created your little scenarios to carry you off to sleep.

The scent memory was somehow worse. It was so easy to transport yourself back in time with the thought of the sweaty musk and the grease or oil smeared on his fingers. It shouldn’t turn you on, right?

You remember thinking he seemed so knowledgeable when describing the issue. You had no idea what he was talking about, but his low voice and patience were enough to tell you he could talk you through anything.

You notice a few other details as you enter his sacred space today. The woodworking projects, the band posters, and the pictures with Ellie and other family members tacked to the wall over another workbench.

Still, no Joel, however.

You circle the partially disassembled project truck and see a door to another room. It would be the office if the shop were a professional business. There’s a window along the wall, but instead of a boss watching an employee, it’s you hoping to see that brawny man and his dark curls.

As you step closer, you nearly squeal. There he is. Well, at least, you can see the broad shoulders and back you’ve been picturing above you in bed. You practically skip to the door. It’s already open a crack, and you give it a knock, calling his name as it swings open from the force of your rapping knuckles.

The next moment is a blur.

“Shit, fuck, hold on!” Joel shouts gruffly as he slams the door in your face. But you already heard it. The phony wailing noises that came from the busted speaker on his phone.

You still face the closed door, trying to process the interaction before he wrenches the door back open. He’s breathing rapidly, chest rising and falling, as he looks at you with wide eyes that quickly narrow.

“What are you doing here?” he barks.

Your hands fall to your sides, and you start to step back, ready to turn and run.

He catches your fear and tries to adjust, but you’re faster.

“Sorry,” you mumble as you turn and try to dash away. Joel’s quick, too, though, and he grabs your wrist.

“Hey, wait,” he loosens his grip when you spin back towards him, “I just didn’t hear you comin’. Wasn’t expecting you.”

“Sorry,” you repeat, stuttering as you continue, “I-I just, uh, just wanted to say thanks for your help last week.” You stare at the floor. Unsure why you’re embarrassed, you feel so small after he saw your face and practically shouted at you.

“All right,” he rumbles. You’re too busy staring at the crack in the concrete floor to notice how his eyes are glued to your exposed skin. Or to see the blotchy red flush that crawls up his neck and toward his face.

But your brain starts to catch up. Joel might’ve snapped at you, but you’re the one that caught him in the act. You don’t lift your head, but your eyes trail over his stained and faded jeans until you’re studying his crotch.

Bingo. It’s almost too easy. You can make out the outline of his erection tucked up in his waistband. Even more glaring evidence is the open fly. You wish you had caught what he was watching. How does he like it? What does he search for when he wants to jerk off in the back office on a hot Saturday afternoon?

He clears his throat, and you snap your attention to his face. “Was there somethin’ you needed?” He asks.

“Yes.” You tell him you’ve got a lasagna that should get into a fridge before it reheats in the sun. He follows you toward the front door and into the house, not missing how your hips sway as you lead.

Once the tray is shoved into the fridge, nestled between some takeout containers, he turns to thank you. “You didn’t need to do all that,” he gruffs over the cookies and homemade meal.

You step back to lean against the counter, littered with mail and more coffee cups, and let yourself check him out up close. His faded Creed t-shirt has holes around the neck. He’s got that same sweaty man musk going on, and you wish you knew why that stirred your arousal, but your pussy lacks logic.

“I know, I know,” you reply, “but you really saved my ass with the car, and I wanted to do something for you. You know, some way to pay you back?”

“All right, well, thanks,” he trails off. He doesn’t seem to know what else to say. Maybe you should be on your way already, but he’s not ushering you out the door.

This time, you do catch when his eyes drop to your chest. There’s no way you’re imagining the tension between you as you stand in his kitchen while he stares at your barely clothed tits, right? Fuck it. You’re gonna go for it.

You take a step towards him. “I wasn’t sure if it was really enough,” your voice is soft and tempting, and your sweet perfume wafts towards him like a lust potion. Joel swallows thickly as you approach.

He knows you must’ve put it together, but he tried to delude himself. Maybe you couldn’t hear the theatrical screams of the woman he was watching get railed before he slammed the door in your face. He hopes all you heard was Chad Kroeger’s voice screaming, “This time I'm mistaken

For handin' you a heart worth breakin'” from the stereo.. on the other side of the shop.

“You worked so hard,” you continued with one final step, and now you’re nearly toe-to-toe in front of him. “There has to be something else I could do.” You’re so close to him. He forgets to respond. It takes all his power to keep his eyes on your face.

You have a wild urge to taste the sweat on his neck, but you keep your tongue to yourself. He hasn’t made any move to encourage you, but he hasn’t stopped you yet either, so you figure it’s worth taking a risk.

“Maybe you’ve got a problem I could help you with.” You go for it, reaching your hand out to palm at the bulge in his jeans.

Again, too many things happen at once. Joel snaps out a “What?” in disbelief. His hand circles your wrist tightly. His hips jerk, involuntarily bucking into your palm. Your glossy lips part into an “o” shape at the size of his not-quite-hard cock. And now you’re both locked into this position like statues.

His fingers stay firmly wrapped around your wrist, but he doesn’t pull you away. Your fingers squeeze over his jeans, and your eyes flash wide as you can feel his cock twitch and stiffen at your touch. The touch that rapidly overrides your better judgment, drowning you in want. Your clit twitches itself in response, your nipples strain under your thin tank top, and your eyelids feel heavy immediately.

“What are you doing?” His voice crackles like he hadn’t just used it. You slide your hand to pop the button on his jeans, and he releases your wrist as you flip it to slip your fingers under the waistband of his boxers in search of his cock.

“Let me help,” you say in more of a whispered tone. The searing heat between Joel’s legs makes you salivate. Your fingers graze coarse curls before you acquire your target, wrapping your palm and fingers around his thick shaft. His size has your cunt throbbing in your shorts.

Joel’s eyes are squeezed shut. He looks nearly in pain. You pull your hand back out to let the pool of saliva on your tongue drip into your palm.

“Jesus,” he breathes out, watching your lewd maneuver. “You wanna help?” He repeats your plea in the form of a question, a little dumbfounded. He’s trying to figure out what’s happening right now.

“I do,” you answer in a honeyed voice as you dig your hand back into his pants. He’s unable to respond with words as you swirl your palm over the head of his cock, mixing saliva and precome, but his body eggs you on. He bucks into your fist, and you work quickly, pumping his throbbing length. The slick noises are muffled by the layers of clothing, but the grunts that catch in his throat shoot piping-hot desire straight into your core.

He looks a little desperate, eyes slammed shut again, jaw slack, arms hanging uselessly at his side. And for god knows why, the entire scene pulls a moan from your lips. The sweet sound snaps Joel back to attention. His hands shoot straight to your breasts, cupping them gently to feel them bounce against the motion of your arm wrestling with his jeans to keep stroking his cock.

They’re so close to spilling over your tank top on their own. Joel can’t resist tugging the thin material until they spill over the top. The sight alone nearly has him coming in his pants. But then you moan so loudly when he squeezes them both and pinches at your nipples, and he really can’t stop.

“Fuck, fuck, wait,” he spits out, but it’s too late. His hips jerk erratically, thrusting into your slick fist, and he’s coming. It coats your hand and wrist and makes an absolute mess. You relax your grip when his whole body seems to shudder and gently remove your hand. He tries to choke his groan of frustration before it surfaces, but he immediately pauses his shame spiral when he sees you suck your come-coated fingers one by one.

“God, that’s so fucking hot,” you tell him. At the same time, he’s muttering curses at the sight of you. You’re feeling a little giddy that all it took was your hand and showing your tits to have Joel losing control and spilling his load for you. It has your mouth curling into an impish grin.

He’s got the sight of you half topless in his kitchen, licking your fingers, looking awfully proud of yourself, etching into his memory. Before the blood can return to his brain, he grabs you tightly by the ribs and walks you backward towards the counter. He lifts you onto it and wrenches open your shorts, yanking at them as you lift your hips so he can slide them off of you and drop them onto the kitchen floor.

Yes! Yes! Yes! The horny little goblins in your brain shriek and chant, incited by the rough and impulsive way Joel gropes at you. It’s barbaric, and that delights you.

Sitting on the counter, you give him such perfect access to put his mouth on your breasts that he forgets what he was going to say. He mouths at each of them wetly, his beard tickling you as he’s busy sucking marks into your delicate skin. He sucks and bites at your strained nipples until your loud whines turn into a sharp gasp, and he pulls back.

The heavy-lidded look on your face has him diving back in for more, and you groan and arch into his touch. You rake your fingers into the curls at the back of his neck and tug at him. He grunts and moans into your skin, and it drives you wild. You need to feel him closer.

You grab the worn cotton on his shoulders until he lets you slip the shirt over his head and drop it onto the counter next to you. It gives you the briefest moment to take in the sight of his built chest and shoulders and softer midsection with that trail of hair you had memorized. You need to taste the salt on his skin.

Spreading your legs wider, he slots his hips against yours at the edge of the counter, and you run your tongue along his neck. You slide one of your hands down the smooth golden skin of his shoulder, and the other nestles back in his messy curls as his mouth finds yours.

He tastes like cheap coffee and the peppermint nicotine gum parked above his teeth along the left side of his mouth. You know it’s wrong that you can’t get enough. But you're helpless when he pulls your bottom lip between his teeth, and you mindlessly roll your hips, seeking any relief.

He’s grumbling in your ear about how it seems like you need help now, but you couldn’t care less about the words coming out of his mouth. His deep voice alone could get you off. You let out an uninhibited whine at the thought.

“Jesus Christ,” he pulls back. His head hangs, staring at the floor. He shakes it in what you assume is disbelief. You don’t want to wait for him to think any further. You grab his hand, pulling it between your legs.

“Really, fucking, hot.” You echo your earlier declaration. Doing your best to sound assertive. You figure at least your soaked panties will prove your point.

“Fuck,” he stifles a groan. You’re so wet it coats his fingertips through the thin material. He nudges his fingers into you, over your panties, and you whimper for him. The fabric sticks to you and makes an obscene sound as he toys with you for only seconds. “Oh, you do need my help. Hm?”

You nod, spreading your legs wider for Joel to have access. He scoffs at you, displayed eagerly atop his kitchen counter. “Just desperate for me, aren’t ya?”

You snap your legs back shut with a glare.

“No way,” you press, jabbing a finger into his chest, “you don’t get to laugh at me like I’m a slut for you when you just came in your pants for me.”

His nostrils flare, and blotchy red patches creep up his neck again. You aren’t sure what kind of bear you’ve just, quite literally, poked.

“But you are, aren’t you?” He challenges. “You came all this way in this excuse for a shirt, just for me.”

He wedges his hand back between your closed thighs, and you relax just enough to let him work his way back to your core. Your breathing gives you away when it hitches and stutters as he traces his fingers along the hem of the fabric between your legs. You let your legs fall a little wider apart, and he sinks a finger beneath the hem and right inside of you to the knuckle.

A whiny noise rolls in the back of your throat.

“Shh,” he sinks a second finger inside of you, and your muscles spasm and contract, “that’s better, hmm?” He slowly pulls his fingers almost all the way out and then plunges them back in. He repeats this, and your core tenses as you writhe for him.

“You need more?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, you do.” He adds a third finger, and the slight stretch makes you hum.

“You just need to be filled up, hm?” He teases you. Awfully confident now for a guy you just caught watching porn on his phone in a grimy back office in the middle of the afternoon.

But your noises and impatient movements spur him on. His sticky cock is filling out his jeans again. He nearly drools at the thought of the wet walls of your cunt, currently wrapped around his fingers, sliding over his cock instead. He knows you want it, too.

“Don’t you?” He asks like you could read his mind.

“Hm?” You hum absently. Empty headed. You’re still taken by the entire pulpy, messy scene.

Reveling in the vulnerability of being spread open on his cluttered counter as you’re both half-dressed and panting in the other’s hot breath. Any semblance of the lightness of your mood is quickly replaced with a blinding need. His fingers work into you, making obscene sounds, and then you add your own fingers. Circling your swollen clit just as he lets you in on his vision.

“You wanna bounce on my lap. Fill this pussy with my cock.”

“Yes,” you hiss as you hover at the edge.

“Yeah, that’s it,” he watches your fingers working deftly over your swollen clit. The encouragement tips you over. Your body jolts erratically as you contract around his fingers, and bright sparks of pleasure course through you.

“Yeah, you’re gonna ride me like fuckin’ champ,” he decides. You pull at his wrist when you start to feel overwhelmed, and he slides his wet fingers over your soft inner thigh. He’s ready to grab you and carry you to the couch when both of your heads snap to attention at the sound of a door slamming in the driveway.

“Shit,” he grumbles, looking for the clock on the stove before he remembers it’s definitely not set to the right time. You move nimbly, shimmying into your shorts, snapping your straps back over your shoulder, and brushing your hair out of your face.

“Hey, wait,” he calls for you, but you’re on the move.

“Let me know when I can pick up the baking dish,” you call over your shoulder. Luckily, Joel’s next guest seemed to know him better. They were off to search the shop first, so you didn’t collide with anyone before you got to your car. Joel stayed locked in the kitchen, catching his breath while you started to pull away. He didn’t see that you stole his dirty Creed shirt off the counter before you skipped out the door.

When you grab it later to wear to bed, a naughty little smile tugs at the corners of your lips. When you pull the worn fabric to your nose to inhale deeply, you wonder if it’s one of those weird pheromone matches or something because you’re sure the sweaty man musk should be wrinkling your nose.

Instead, it makes you think of his big arms and chest filling out the shirt. And how his shoulder and back muscles ripple under his sun-bronzed skin. What they’d look like coated in a sheen of salty sweat as he railed you, bent over his workbench, under the watchful eye of the calendar model and her flirty smize.

The image has you interrupting your own scenarios-before-bed time. Maybe Joel needs a model from this decade. You giggle, bunching up the t-shirt to snap a tasteful shot of some underboob cleavage, with the faded Creed logo on full display.

You send it off with no context, figuring it’s self-explanatory. It’s less than a minute before your phone buzzes, and you feel the intoxicating rush rip through your body before you pick it up to see just the heading on your lockscreen:

Joel

Attachment 1 image

divider by @cyberangel-graphics

Please let me know if you enjoyed or hated this or a secret third thing (???) heheh

#joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #hotdilfsummerchallenge #joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #fanfic #joel miller au #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction

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yanderestarangel · 6 months

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HEADCANONS JKK | DILF!NANAMI KENTO

A/N: It was very strange writing this to the sound of "snowy", sometimes I question my musical choices for inspiration ╰⁠(⁠⸝⁠⸝⁠⸝⁠´⁠꒳⁠`⁠⸝⁠⸝⁠⸝⁠)⁠╯

TW: afab anatomy, ftm reader, fluff, soft!dom nanami, hard!dom nanami, gentle sex, rough sex, v!sex, fingering, praise, body worship, age gap, vulnerable!kink, degradation, daddykink, eat out, mild bdsm.

♡ SFW :

He is a man so tired of the life of working and being a wizard at the same time that he just needs a release. You are his younger partner, a few years younger than the forty-year-old man. He was afraid at the beginning of the relationship because he didn't think he was as attractive as men his age, but as time went by he saw how much you loved that he was older than you, there was a charm in every dark circle cold expression on his frown that was too sexy in your eyes.

You'll also have to keep him updated on things that happen in your social circle ── he doesn't really mind but seeing you smile and talk so excitedly about a certain topic also makes him happy and much more relaxed from the daily routine. He doesn't understand half of the slang you and Gojo say when you get together, but he doesn't mind at all (just don't call him 'boomer' Satoru already does that a lot and it gets on the blonde's nerves.)

He likes to be greeted by you when he gets home. It may be a simple gesture but it fills your chest with a warm and fulfilling feeling as he kisses you on the top of your head, smelling you while an almost invisible smile appears on his tired face. "Did you behave while I was gone baby?" Nanami spoke with a hoarse and low voice, listening attentively to you about your day while smiling when he saw that at least his daily effort was worth it because it could give you a more tolerable and comfortable life. Even though he was tired, he would help you with dinner, lightly rambling about how tiring his day was and what you could do at the weekend.

If you mention that you saw something you liked in a store, Nanami will immediately write down the address and go buy what you want ── even if he works extra hours to pay all the installments, your smile is more important to him. "All for my boy right?" He would speak in a calming voice to your nerves, while his fingers tilted on your shoulder as a gesture of tender affection coming from the older man.

♡ NSFW :

The first few times you two fuck he will be a gentleman to you ── calling you "my sweet", "pretty little thing", "darling", "prince", "pretty boy"; talking about how your moans are the most beautiful thing he has heard. "Keep moaning boy... I want to hear everything from you." "What a beautiful voice you have, moan my name darling and let me hear more, say my name when you cum ok?" These would be some of the several phrases that Nanami would say while inserting two thick fingers into your swollen and wet pussy from the exaggerated stimulation he would do to your body.

He likes to eat out you, seeing you tremble and suffocate him between your soft thighs makes the blonde's cock practically cum without even entering you. He sucks your clit running his tongue in circles while his calloused hands keep your legs wide open for his warm ministrations ── Kento will whisper praises against your pussy making you shiver with each vibration welcome to your sensitive flesh. The blonde finds it cute the way you rub your hips desperately against his lips, making him place kisses on your abdomen and connect your lips, separating the kiss seconds later and looking directly into your eyes, watery with pleasure.

"Looks like you're in a hurry boy... Come on, come and ride my face, don't worry about your weight I can really handle it." Nanami moaned as he watched you obey his request and sat gently on his face ── your sweet smell and wet juices, the sound of your voice begging him 'not to stop' was like heaven to him. Nanami just wanted to make you ready for his cock.

When you reach your second orgasm of the night ─ crying and turning into a beautiful, stimulated mess for him, Nanami will finally shove his cock in your little pussy, moaning hoarsely and privately in your ear. "You can handle this, can't you little boy? You're going to cum on my dick again." Kento would groan, hands resting on the sides of your head on the mattress as he looked directly at every reaction you gave him ── from your breasts bouncing with each thrust of his hips, to the sight of your open mouth salivating and smearing your sheets, until your wet hole sucking his cock back into your throbbing heat. "Desperate to get fucked but too shy to do anything about it... my pretty little angel can't do anything but blush. Do you love my cock in you so much?" He smiled, as he accelerated his movements, intertwining your hand with his, feeling his balls hit your ass, making a slow, lazy wet noise.

However, if you want him to be rude and take out all the anger and stress on your body, Kento will do it with all the strength he has suppressed for years. Tying you with his tie and gagging your mouth with your own underwear ── you are not allowed to speak or ask for anything, at that moment you are his personal toy.

You saw Nanami's veins stand out from his forehead, neck and arms as he approached the edge of the bed, roughly opening your thighs ── your once gentle and sweet boyfriend gave way to a sadistic and cold dominator. He couldn't help but laugh when he saw your little fucked face just looking at him ── dazed and shaking, your pussy milking the air as he slapped your thigh hard, going to squeeze your breasts as you moaned against the fabric and tasted it of your own humidity. "That's what you get for being such a good boy." His voice was serious, as you watched him take the panties out of your mouth and take his cock out of his pants.

Kento would also have vulnerable!kink, meaning you will be totally naked while he will be clothed yet just taking his member out of his clothes and fucking you ── completely trapped by the weight of his body, gripping the sheets and whimpering as he pounds into your cunt, treating you like a personal cum dump. He would be rude and say the most vulgar things you had ever heard from anyone, the gentleman in him was gone with every thrust he made on your body. "You're nothing more than a pathetic cum dumpster," he hissed, his voice filled with biting contempt. "Do you like being degraded, my obedient whore?" he taunted, a sadistic gleam in his eyes.

He would fuck you to the point where you couldn't feel your legs anymore. With final painful strokes he breeds your pussy as he watches you cry his name. "shh... I got you boy, you were a good boy for daddy ok?" He spoke, returning to normal, holding your trembling body. After the rough treatment, you will be looked after like a prince by him ─ he will clean your body by giving you hot kisses on your face and offering you water. Kento would take you to the bathroom and clean up the traces of sex, while stroking your hair. "Sleep now, honey, I'll be here when you wake up." You knew he would be there like he promised.

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babycakezero · 22 days

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♡ anything you want

Katsuki Bakugo was, and always has been, the type of person to cherish every second of alone time he could possibly get. Even as a teenager at UA, he woukd often purposefully miss out on outings with his classmates and friends just so he could spend the afternoon listening to music, ans mutely flipping through the old pages of comic books he'd has since he was young.

And as he grew older, he found that being the Number One hero of Japan not only meant putting your very life at risk everyday in the name of protecting those who cannot protect themselves, but it also meant that his down time was greatly cut for multiple reasons.

One being he was almost always the first hero to be called upon whenever something went wrong. And two being the annoying paparazzi, greedy news anchors, and crazied fans were always chasing him around. When you combine these problems together, you get a smoothie of fuck my life and a man who enjoyed almost nothing more than hearing nothing else but himself, and his own thoughts.

Almost.

That's why, when he got home from a particularly long and rough day full of hero work, he immediately grabbed his phone and began clicking away on it.

He pressed the device to his ear, his leg bouncing up and down as he listened to the nearly deafening sound of the ringing. It seemed to go on forever, and he began to think that maybe he was foolish to think you would ever want a serious relationship with a guy like him, that maybe it was just a hook-up to you.

And now he felt like an idiot for calling you. Until, there was a pause.

"H-hello?" He mumbled out, his heart beating against his chest so hard that he thought he might be having a heart attack despite only being in his early 30s.

"Bakugo?" Your sweet voice replied on the other side, making the blond man let out a breath he didn't realize he was even holding in, "Bakugo, are you okay? Is something wrong-"

"No." His leg was already back to its nervous bouncing, "I... I was just wondering if you would like to come by my apartment."

The silence was making his want to put his naturally sweaty palm up against his head and explode-

"What, um," You had him on the edge of his seat, silently wondering if your next words would be a rejection, "What would we do?"

"Anything you want." He rushed out.

He knew that the last time he invited you to his apartment, you two ended up sleeping together. He remembered that day fondly. He liked it. A lot. Not just the sex, but calm morning that followed. He remembered how you sleepily walked out of his bedroom and into the kitchen with one of his shirts hanging loose around your shoulders as he made you both breakfast.

He knew then, as he looked at your messy morning hair, as he watched you yawn, as he watched you watch him cook, that you were who he wouldn't mind giving up the rest of his alone time just so he could see your beautiful face and hear your beautiful voice again.

coming soon... anything you want pt 2

coming soon... masterlist

characters ♡ katsuki bakugo x ♡

a/n ~ idkk i hope this was cuteee, also feeling tempted to make a part 2 👀

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ellsarchive · 2 months

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Ken Sato HC’s (extremely random) *.• (sfw)

Writing this instead of part two of starcrossed 😭

Calls you “doll.” It started off sarcastic, like when he was teasing you or something of the sort. It soon became an unironic part of his vocabulary, now a common name between you two.

Speaking of pet names, also calls you “baby.”

PDA guy, but lowkey. Like an arm around you or a hand on your lower back, subtle claims and displays to show you off.

(Someone else said this and it was too true not to repeat) He bites. Whether that means nibbling your skin playfully or sinking his teeth into you is up to your interpretation.

Sometimes he leans down to hear you better, to kiss you, etc. and his dog tags hang in your face.

Refers to you as “my girl” in interviews and when telling people about you

Takes a long time for him to feel like he can show emotion around you. It took countless reassurances and a lot of love, but strangely enough, he finds comfort in knowing you’ve seen that side of him. You saw it and still stayed.

The type to dance with you in the living room to disgustingly sappy music (even when your laughter is much louder than the song)

Listener.

Unless he has something important, you will never catch this man in something other than sweats or his baseball uniform.

Knows he’s attractive, but doesn’t try too hard to seem so. He knows certain things he does are attractive and he does them, but doesn’t try to make them attractive, you know?

The cocky act isn’t ENTIRELY a front. Of course it’s mostly a show for the fans, but he’s a sarcastic man at heart.

No minute goes by that he doesn’t have a snarky comment

Except for when he’s with you.

He’s nicer when he’s with you.

Low spice tolerance (America did its number on him)

Likes to watch projections of his old life with you, pointing out little details and meanings behind things that couldn’t be seen. He loves teaching you about who he was before you.

So clingy when he’s tired. If you try to get out of bed it feels like you have chains holding you in your place. His determination is almost terrifying. Also much less sarcastic, his most sincere words have been spoken when he’s half asleep.

Speaking of which, the first time he told you he loved you was when you were cuddled up, falling asleep. He let it slip without realizing, his eyes shutting the moment he said it. His last memory of that night is your faint voice saying “I love you” as his dreams took over.

Will DESTROY a carton of milk in the middle of the night if he’s thirsty (he usually only uses it for cereal)

Likes to binge TV shows with you when he gets the chance. What’s a better way to spend a rainy day than to be lazy and escape from this world with the person he loves most?

Had a dog growing up

Nothing is safe from the heinous amounts of soy sauce he puts on his food. One bite would kill a Victorian child

Was actually really nervous about being in a committed relationship. Luckily, you being his saviour, helped him every step of the way. He’s changed so many ways since meeting you, one of them being the absence of the walls he had built.

Puts a hand on the back of your neck when he hugs you

Car guy (as hinted by his collection of cars in the movie)

Sometimes falls asleep on your chest, body in between your legs, and wakes up having no idea where he is.

Wishes he had more pictures of you, but always forgets to take them.

Always wins his games when you come to them. Seeing you in the stands is the highlight of the game, not the win.

MEAN side eye. Could kill a man with ts

Is 100% sure that he’ll never love another the way he loves you. He’s certain.

Thinks of you when he sees corny romance movies

Was genuinely surprised when you first told him you loved him (when he was awake this time). When he realized how real it all was, he was confused. He didn’t know someone could see all the bad parts of him and still really, really love him.

Once he got over the doubt, he was proud.

Felt pathetic when he first realized how much he loved you. The way he couldn’t get you out of his head was unfamiliar, and your effect on him was so much more than anyone else has had. It frustrated him to no end.

Loves trying new food places with you

Sometimes jumps a little when he sees you out of the corner of his eye, someone else in his house so often still new to him.

Doesn’t cry easily

Cried while watching titanic with his mom when he was little

#I ran out of ideas can you tell #ellsarchive #kenji sato #ken sato #kenji sato x reader #ultraman rising #ken sato x reader #ultraman #ultraman rising x reader #ken sato netflix #ultraman rising netflix #ken sato x fem reader #ken sato headcanons #kenji sato headcanons #Ken Sato hcs #Kenji sato hcs

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itstheghostofmypast · 4 months

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Nah Bro!

University Student Wooyoung x (F)Reader

Summary: No, he wasn't an idiot, he knew what he wanted and he always had, the only problem was he wasn't sure if she wanted the same. He was her friend, her biggest supporter, and her shelter on rainy days- but he was NOT her bro.

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word Count: 7.6k

Est. Read Time: 37 min

Warnings: language, suggestive content, Woo's a perv and she ain't any better.

Rating: Mature

Networks: @cromernet @k-labels

Banner: @cafekitsune

"Wooyoung?"

His head whipped in her direction, his signature smile gracing his face as he saw her approach her with her usual expressions filled with scepticism.

"In the flesh" he smiled down at her, the students around then slowly disappearing into nothing, the world halting at the perfect time when the rays of light seeping through the glass windows, reflecting off her lashes and skin, giving off an ethereal glow, the way the wind was just blowing right, her summer dress swaying like nature itself was flirting with her, asking her for a dance, how the birds began to harmonise, in the joy of her being here and-

"Is calling someone girlie pop considered flirting?"

"Ye- what? Who's flirting with you?" all too quickly the world around him shattered, coming back to its usual hustle and bustle, the frat boys a bit too loud and a bit too annoying, the girls passing by distracting her as one of them called her out, asking her to have lunch with them, and just to top it all off, Choi San just happened to pop by tapping his shoulder, to ruing the mood.

"Get lost, Choi."

"What? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

"GO."

"FINE."

The two exchanged a look as the taller male caught the way his friend was eying the girl talking to the other girls, giggling about something- no, someone. Bloody Park Seonghwa.

"You should tell her." he nudged Wooyoung who swatted his hand away and whispered back, "And you should f**k off."

With that he marched away, leaving San standing there in the middle of the hallway. The idiot also forgot that when she turned around to look for him, she couldn't find him, but she saw San making her way to him she smiled, "Did Woo leave?"

"Uh- yeah he had a class."

"Really? Did he take a course I'm not in?"

Never had Choi San in his life felt the urge to murder someone, it would be Wooyoung for leaving him alone with her, knowing fully well he couldn't really lie to her, especially when she was looking around for her Woo like a lost puppy.

Clearing his throat the feline-eyed man nodded towards the exit, "I think he went that way, I'm gonna go there too if you wanna tag along..." he trailed off when he noticed she wasn't listening anymore, in fact, she was too busy staring at someone else, a certain literature major, one who had the face structure of a Greek god but the personality of a pleasant old lady, Park Seonghwa- oh. Seonghwa wasn't a bad person, no, he was great, but his reputation of being a flirt was somewhat of a bother- perhaps because he was a senior and his merry band of friends comprised every handsome man in the lot, music major Kim Hongjoong, IT genius Jeong Yunho and the upcoming model, plus business major Kang Yeosang- truthfully, San doesn't blame her for basking in the attention Seonghwa had started giving her, most girls would throw themselves at them- then often politely get rejected (unless of course, you had the unfortunate luck of confessing to Hongjoong, who'd often have his earphones plugged in, ignoring you and walking all over you heart as he walked away), and if Seonghwa had actually put in the effort of talking to her, then there was something about her that had intrigued the shy extroverted man.

"Hmm?" She looked away, ducking her head to hide the blush that had spread across her face when Seonghwa passed by, giving her an acknowledging smile, damn, Wooyoung really did need to step up his game.

"Wanna go look for Wooyoung?"

"Oh! YEAH! LET'S GO SANNIE! HE HAD TEACH ME HOW TO FLIRT!” She yelled, much like the lunatic who was hopelessly falling for her each day, grabbing San's bag as she dragged him out, or trying to, because she really couldn't move him an inch "Let's go-"

With a soft chuckle, he took her bag from her, watching her glare up at him all confused, "It's the other way, come on, little minx."

"Ow-" he hissed, his hand going to the back of his head, as he turned to glare at San- "AYE CHOI, YOU WANNA DIE?" He threatened the taller man who was wearing two backpacks, each slung over one shoulder- wait why is he doing that?

"It was me, idiot." He heard from beside him, as he turned to look at her before pouting, "Teach me how to flirt." His pout morphed into a face of disgust, moving a step back from her, crossing his arms over his chest as he scanned her frame, making sure she would become hyper-aware of his gaze and self-conscious, borderline uncomfortable.

"I'll..." San turned his head to spot a small ice cream stall, man, he loved business week, "Get us some ice cream."

Pulling her jacket closer to her she whined, kicking her feet, "D-dont look at me like that."

"Why?" He asked moving closer, enough for her to take a step back as she looked up at him, his gaze piercing through her, keeping her rooted at the spot when he took one final step closer to her, making sure to maintain eye contact, a rocky little smirk made its way on his handsome face as he invaded more of her personal space, eyes flicking to her lips, the residue of the shiny gloss teasing him, taunting him, tempting him, though the way her lips quirked into a frown had him scoff, and glance back up at her, feeling her palms flatten against his chest. Still, she didn't push him, of course, giving him unintentional mixed signals was her favourite hobby. He pressed his forehead against hers, whispering, "You wanna learn how to flirt but can't even look me straight in the eye."

"I-I" her hands gripped onto his shirt, twisting it in her sweaty grip as she felt him let out an airy chuckle, when she continued, "I-this isn't..." Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes, causing him to smile, following along, enjoying the -

"MOTHER F*CKER- YOU BI- WHAT THE HELL!?" Stumbling back, he yelled like a madman, pressing his palm against his nose before feeling the blood trickle out, "ARE YOU INSANE? THAT'S WHY YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING TO BE SINGLE!" His shrill causing the student passing by to give them strange looks.

"What...the hell guys...I was gone for 10 minutes?" San mumbled, walking over to them with ice lollies in hand, the sight before him annoying, but not new or unexpected- this was a common occurrence, one he had been forced to see since the first semester of starting his not-so-peaceful university life.

"He was harassing me."

"HARASSING- HARASSING YOU? YOU FREAKY GREMLIN YOU SLAMMED YOUR HEAD ON MY NOSE!? FOR WHAT!?" He snatched the cold packaged good from the quiet man, who gave him a look of concern, "Go to the nurse Woo-"

"SHUT UP CHOI." He hissed, pressing the packaged ice good against his nose as he walked over towards a bench, ignoring the whining menace following him behind, calling him out as she sat down next to him, wrapping her arms around his arm, pulling him closer, clinging onto him she placed her head on his shoulder, "Come on Woo, I'm not gonna do anything bad or careless, I'll keep you well informed."

Letting out a huff he leaned his head onto hers, of course, he was still angry, but his body would often react on his own around her, a fact he discovered back in middle school, the first time he had seen her, the first time he had embarrassed himself in front of her.

The 10-year-old boy, the 'king' of the playground, was busy ordering his loyal servants around in the sandbox when this little critter popped up, marching over to him with watery eyes and a runny nose, her fists clenched by her side as she stomped into the sandbox shoving away his 'royal guards' and pointing at him, "Are you the king?"

"Who wants to know!?" Smirking he adjusted his robes- towels, the guest towels he stole from home- atop his head that his paper crown, an ugly orange colour might she add.

Sniffing she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand before looking at him, "I want to ride the swings!" She yelled at him, before moving closer to shove him- mind you, she only did so because her parents had always told her never to back down when she was in the right- and two mean boys not letting her on the swings because their king said so was not right.

Steadying himself he glared at her, eying her up and down, he was a feminish or fashionist or something like that, his mother told him to be one too, so equal rights it is, which is why he shoved her harder watching her land on her butt, laughing in the process as his loyal servants began to laugh too- that his until he saw the dejected look on her face, he had assumed she would fight back like most kids, but she got up, wiped her eyes and slowly walked away with her head hung in shame, something about the little girl all sad in her floral summer dress had him feel all funny in his stomach- or chest? The point is he initially ignored it, too focused on his victory, happy the king remained all-powerful.

What he did not expect was the peasant girl to come to his house with her parents- what a snitch. That night Wooyoung had to apologise to her, not because he took the swings because as his mother quoted while pinching his ear, "A FEMINIST DOESN'T HIT A WOMAN. HE BEFRIENDS HER." Ah, so it was feminist. Though her parents had not come to complain, they had actually moved in as neighbours and wanted to meet their neighbours, his family, but who knew the youngest (for now) child of the Jung household had left a bad impression on the Lee Family's one and only Princess. Since that day his mother had forced him to befriend her, to go over to her house and play, to drop her off to her class- thankfully they were not in the same section, but that's because she was smart and well...he was good-looking.

Perhaps it was fate that had him slowly understanding her awkward and shy nature, how she was somewhat similar to him when it came to what she wanted, she'd whine and complain but the only difference between the two was that she'd always find a way to get it- want a Lego set? Get good grades and you will- she did. Want to eat ice cream? Eat your veggies, she did, she even ate his.

Wooyoung, nah, he wasn't one to take such big risks, to come out of his comfort zone. In fact, after the arrival of the youngest new addition to the Jung family, Wooyoung wasn't happy, what teenager wants a baby brother? Who does that? The night his brother was born, he wasn't at the hospital like his father or his older brother and the Lee family, including her, no, he had climbed up the rusty pipe she had told him a billion times not to use, plucked open the lock of her window and entered her dark room- yes, her parents knew he would do that, his parents knew too, he was the only one allowed to that, for a king is ever ready to go to his queen, especially at the time of distress. He took a step into her bedroom, taking off his shoes and placing them on the small shoe rack set next to the window for him, and hopped onto her bed, stuffing his face into her pillows, her peach shampoo smothering him with affection, before letting out a strangled cry, which opened the flood gates to a tsunami of everything, he had been bottling up since the news of his mother's pregnancy had surfaced. The way his friends teased him, calling it gross, the way everyone was now busy not paying attention to him, the way he was no longer important. Why were they having another child anyway? Was he not enough? Of course, he wasn't as perfect as his older brother but were they only trying again because they were fed up with him? He was leaving for college soon- were they replacing him?

He really didn't know how long it went on for, but a few too many tears later, his eyes had dried out, but his laboured breathing hadn't ceased, that us until he felt calming fingers sift through his hair, the bed dipping beside him as he heard a gentle, "Woo...I knew I'd find you here- staining my sheets with your snot, you giant baby."

Ah, she never was gentle with her words, perhaps that is what karma was, making him fall for her, probably harder than he had pushed her when they were kids, watching him simmer in her snarky comments and such mixed cues of attention- well perhaps that's what he deserved for being a b*tch all the time- I'd didn't matter, for a king always gives into his queen.

Sighing he tried to move, only to freeze when he realised her entire weight was on him, his eyes meeting San who was frowning at him, though the broad-shouldered man holding a raspberry lolly looked comical, especially when he glared at him like that.

“What?”

“She’s asleep Jung.”

“No way? Really?” He scoffed, gently manoeuvring her to lay her head on his thigh, brushing the hair out of her eyes, before reaching for San’s cap on the wooden table, ignoring the man as he placed it on her eyes, shielding her from the horrid, too bright and ugly sun.

“You’re hopeless.” He huffed before standing up, collecting the trash and slinging his bag over his shoulder, “Just…don’t do something you’ll regret, man.”

“What are you? The Magic-Eight ball or something.” He mumbled, before waving him off, “Be gone, now, I’m sure that girl from ‘Philosophy’ is waiting for you at the library to pull out books from the top shelf for her again.” He smirked, watching the way San’s face flushed at the mention of his somewhat secret crush, mumbling some very vulgar words at Wooyoung before stomping away.

“Okay, there, all better.”

“Kiss it better.”

She moved back to stare at him, extremely close to smacking him once more but decided not to when he sat there with his eyes closed for her. Rolling her eyes, she leaned closer placing a quick peck on the tip of his nose before quickly hopping off the bed, mumbling about what kind of idiot he was, not catching the way he was smiling like an idiot at her. She was wearing one of his hoodies, he liked that, they were in her dorm room, he liked that, he was surrounded by her, he really liked that- truth be told he had followed her to this university as well, honestly, sometimes he did think of blurting it out to her- but was it worth ruining everything with her, just to satisfy his itty-bitty heart that had begun to beat for nothing but her.

“So, will you help me or not?”

Her question caught her off guard, eying the way she sat down across him, placing a bowl of chips between them, “Woo, will you teach me how to flirt or not?” pushing the bowl towards him as he sighed before shrugging, “Why do you wanna learn anyway-

“Because I like Park Seonghwa!” she whined, “He’s so pretty and sweet and he’s a wonderful senior and-

“If a guy likes you, he likes you for you, not because you learn how to flirt.” He cut her off before picking up a chip and placing (shoving) in her parted mouth, cackling when she choked on it, smacking his hand away as she turned around and swallowed, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and turning to glare at him, “Funny how I’ve been doing that since high school and I have never even gone on a date- I am not even remotely likeable.”

“You don’t need to go on a date to deduce if you’re likeable or not.”

“How can you say that!? Do you like me?”

“Yes.”

For a moment his quick sat between them, staring at the two as she looked at him wide-eyed, scanning his face like a curious, scared kitty, only to be met with an intense stare, his eyes staring- no piercing through her soul as if he were trying to say something without saying it, do something without doing it, feel something without feeling it. Ever so slowly he moved closer to her, watching her breath hitch, fingers gripping her sweatpants as he stopped to look at her before giving her a soft smile, trying to read her, yet his signal was not transmitted for once again their frequencies did not match, causing him to move back and look away, scanning her studio apartment, a piece of him was in this room- no, several little pieces of him were present within this canvas, traces of his soul, the scent of his being; from his spare sneakers to his scarf on the kitchen chair, to the coat hanging off the coat hook on the main door, to his ‘special morning Garfield mug on the dishrack.’

“Woo…” she whispered, causing him to slowly turn back to look at her, a small melancholic smile gracing his features, one she noted as she gulped, though her parched throat made swallowing difficult- no, she was reading this wrong, Wooyoung deserved, Wooyoung wanted far more than her, he always had, he always will.

“Let’s do it.” Smiling he stood up before stretching, ignoring how she was staring up at him as he scratched his head before looking around, “It’s getting late, I promised San I’ll cook tonight.”

“Yo-you don’t have to, I can-”

“Classes start tomorrow, after four, there are two conditions.” He cut her off, walking over to the door as he pulled off his coat, staring at it for a moment before hanging it back on her door- why not let his presence be there till it was time to move out- “First, I will accept your payment in meals, after every lesson you will treat me to a home-cooked meal and secondly, you will do whatever I say, do we have a deal?”

Walking over to him she stood in the hallway, staring up at him in awe, the warm light above him hitting just right, accentuating his features in a way that her heart may as well have hopped onto his palm if she were to stare at him for any longer, so all she could do was nod at his deal, all she could do was stand there when he placed his hands on her shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze before pressing his forehead against hers, mumbling, “See you tomorrow, my little gremlin.”

“God, I- I am not wearing this” she huffed throwing the top back at him as he rolled his eyes, holding it up by the strings, “This, is a summer dress, with spaghetti strings, many girls wear it and I think- Seonghwa would like it.”

Sighing in defeat she took it from him, before walking over to the washroom to change, leaving him sitting on the bed as he looked around her room, lying down as he sighed, arms behind his head as he stared up at the cheap 3D glowing stars on the ceiling, one’s they had put stuck up on the ceiling the on the first night she had moved into her dorm, making the zodiac constellation for him and her, then the two had laid there, side by side, staring up at it until they eventually fell asleep in each other’s arms.

“H-how do I look?”

His eyes snapped open at her voice turning his head to inspect her, only to end up feeling like he was punched in the gut, the air knocked right out of him, slowly sat up as he turned to her, eyes roaming every inch of her frame, he had seen her wearing his clothes so much, that he had forgotten that she indeed was much smaller than him- no- she indeed was a girl.

“W-Woo?”

Clearing his throat, he stood up and smiled at her, “You look like you can flirt.” Giving her a thumbs up he grabbed her hand and walked towards the main door, making sure to grab his wallet and phone, ignoring her babbling, “Now, we see what you do on a date- you gotta experience it girlie, a café date is the best of its kind.”

That was exactly how she had found herself stuck to him as the two walked down the pathway to the local café, the setting sun doing her a favour and not burning against her skin, though the wind only had her feeling conscious, especially when the ends of the tied strings would tickle her shoulders or the hem of her dress would tease her, causing her to grip his arm, pulling him closer for some form of support. Wooyoung on the other hand, no he was having the time of his life, never had he felt something so soft and warm press up against him and he thanked that horrid magazine he had found with dating advice for the choice of dress he had picked for her, the pastel pink mid-thigh dress really did do her wonders, really did make him feel like he was in high school again-

“Woo…I feel like everyone is s-staring.” She mumbled, pressing her face into his arm as he sighed, “Babe, it's not like you’ve never worn a dress before, sure this one is a little more on the bolder side but-” his words came to a halt when his eyes met with a glossy pair, one pleading him to save him from the way the boys around them were eying her down, sizing her up.

“Thank you, Woo.” She smiled, pulling his denim jacket close to her frame as she sat on the opposite chair, glad that most of her body was covered again, especially from prying eyes, “I knew I could count on you.”

Taking her out was a bad idea, not only was she gaining a lot of attention but she was making it difficult for him to hold himself back, to keep those three words, not the redundant and overused "I like you" but a feeling he had been covering with layers and layers of sarcasm and petty fights, a feeling his heart could never truly accept, could never truly feel, could ever truly float in, even if it were drowning in it, "Love me too".

The cafe trip was cut short when the very nice waitress was kind enough to point out how cute of a couple they were, and instead of letting her correct the waitress, he cut her off with a small thank you, then looked at her. What did that mean? Was he trying to teach her? Was this part of flirting? She did not understand.

It irked him how she was clueless, how she wanted him to spell it out for her but he wasn't going to, not when the fear of rejections loomed over him, waiting for the right moment to slice the beating pound of flesh in his chest in half. The walk home had been uncomfortable, she was no longer clinging onto him, and the jacket had provided her enough cover, but he'd be lying if he were to say he didn't like it on her. At least there was part of him she was willing to hold onto, even if it was temporary. The walk home was silent, eerie, quiet and perhaps a bit too loud with the sound of anything but them, that is until he finally stopped at the door of her dorm room, staring at her when she unlocked the door and walked inside, leaving it open for him, only for her to turn around in the small, dimly lit corridor of the entrance to look at him, look up at him all confused and doe eyed, in his garment, covering her frame, her eyes swirling with a form of curiosity that had his fingers twitching, his soul begging to be set free from the confines of his useless flesh, "Woo?"

"Next lesson...is...indoors, I'll text the details." With that he had closed the door but did not leave, instead, he waited outside, waiting for her to lock it, his forehead resting against the mahogany, counting till ten, sighing in relief when he heard the gentle click. This was a bad idea. He was so pathetic he told her he would help her, yet he couldn’t even pull through one day properly, some best friend he was.

She lay awake the entire night, tossing at turning in bed as every 10 minutes she would check her phone for his text, but there was none. He had not even responded to her goodnight message, prick. That was exactly why she was late to class, and almost thrown out too but the lecturer had not been too busy trying to actually figure out how to use the projector. She had slipped in, trying to find an empty spot, which she did after a couple of minutes, choosing to sit in the only available seat at the corner of the class, she sighed, taking out her book, only to pause when she heard someone groan next to her, turning to the source of noise she let out a small gasp.

“What the hell happened to you?” she whispered, leaning closer to the hunched-over figure in black, as she yanked back the hood of his hoodie, earning another small whine.

“Stop…yelling.” He mumbled, pressing his forehead against the table.

“I’m not, Woo.” With a sigh she ran her fingers through his hair, trying to figure out what on earth he had done this time. It was uncommon for her to find her Wooyoung this battered and bruised, it was uncommon for her to find her Wooyoung this tired, just blatantly showing all his bits that he wasn’t proud of, to her or the world, “Were you drinking last night…I thought you were going to text me the details.”

‘I was drinking to get you off my damn mind’, is what he wanted to say, but when he snapped his head in her direction, he was met by a gaze so endearing, a gaze that held a certain affectionate warmth to it, one that made him wonder if he were ready to let this very being that frustrated him and infatuated him with an unimaginable amount of love slip through his fingers. So, after a moment of thinking, he turned back to the board and slowly nodded, “I…Let’s go after class…next lesson…wake me up at the end?”

“Why were you drinking mid-week anyway?” she asked, though he never answered, instead he slowly pushed her upper body away from the table, only to lean down onto her lap, his head resting on her thighs as he closed his eyes, mumbling an, “Don’t ask questions you won’t like the answer to.”

What did that even mean? Honestly, he had become very difficult for her to read, sometimes she assumed it was because he had no interest in her, other times she just thought it was not difficult because of the crush she had developed on him- one that was pointless since he never really noticed the hints she’d drop, she knew for him, she’d always be the goody-two-shoes that lived next door. But then again, she was never his type, she was not like any of his exes, in both physical presence and mentally- well, she didn’t want to be like them in terms of mental state- most were more interested in his physical presence than who he was as a person- then he’d come running back to her, and every time he would she’d tell him the same thing, “That’s what you get for someone dating someone who doesn’t like animals.” Though he’d argue with the ‘Yah! Do I look like a dog to you?’, that wasn’t it though- or maybe she was calling him a dog, who was to say? The fact of the matter was, at the end of the day, she would always be his just best friend, and this is why Seonghwa had happened to slip into the picture, she needed to move on, and maybe someone as sweet, smart and smokin’ hot (she should stop spending so much time with Wooyoung) would be good for her.

“Wakey, wakey, you successfully slept through an hour-long lecture.” Carding her finger through his hair she frowned when he clenched his eyes shut, why was he being so difficult? Was he trying to avoid her or something else? Was he tired of her being around him all the time? Did he not text her last night because he wanted her to drop it? The whole Seonghwa thing because maybe he knew she was hopeless, if him knowing her for years led to nothing, how would a stranger, a handsome, well-mannered, angel-like stranger like her and-

“Are you constipated?”

“Huh?” Casting her eyes down at him, she met a curious, droopy gaze, it was only then that she realised that she had been absentmindedly caressing his cheek, drawing intricate patterns on his soft skin, though even at the realisation she did not stop- how could she? Perhaps this was the last time she’d ever touch him, ever be this intimate with him. Sighing she shook her head, mumbling, “No…why?”

“Then why are you frowning like that?” he groaned, sitting up, stretching his arms over his head before letting out a loud, ungraceful yawn and scratching his head, looking around the empty class- if he were to make out with her right now, they would never even be caught- Wooyoung, you’re not even dating her- true, but the way she had been pouting just made him want to- “Where are you going?” he turned to her when he heard her shuffle, standing up and collecting her stuff, pausing to look at him, “Going back to my dorm… I’m tired.”

With that she walked away, not sure if she was mad at him, or upset at the thought of the hemlock of reality she was to swallow eventually, maybe she just wanted him to somehow disappear- rather if he was out of sight, he’d be out of mind- right? It’s not like she had spent all night staying up waiting for his text. It’s not like she rolled around in bed before devouring an entire pastry (she had been saving for the weekend) in tension and anticipation. It’s not like she had cried herself to sleep knowing that tomorrow she’d have to wake up and pretend her heart did not beat for a man who had carelessly dropped it years ago.

“W-wait!” running after her he jogged up to her until he was walking beside her, glancing down to note how she was not even trying to look up at him with her usual smile- shit. He really messed up, he didn’t know she was so determined for Seonghwa- this thought just added more salt to the nasty green that brewed within him, the ugly, vomit-like green that had him ranting to San all night, chugging down one too many beers, enough for him to wake up with a horrible hangover that even San’s hangover juice couldn’t fix- what did that f*cker know anyway, he didn’t drink and the girl he had been pinning over had been secretly pinning over him- not that he’d help San figure out, he had his own issues, honestly liking your academic rival isn’t the smartest thing anyway.

“Well, see you later.”

With that she walked into the building, only to have him follow her, she turned to look at him as he looked down at her with a sheepish smile, a nervous chuckle breaking the silence when she raised a brow, only to die down when she turned back around and started climbing up the stairs again, only for him to follow hot on her trail. Once again stopping right behind her when she stopped to open the door-incorrect, he had bumped into her, only for her to turn around and glare at him for a good minute, only turning when he gently gripped her shoulders and turned her around to the door, mumbling, “We still have one lesson left- I’ll combine two in one, special deal for my special girl.”

Cringing at the words, that stung her heart harder than imaginable, opening the door for and entering, not really waiting for him to enter or not, as she kicked off her shoes and flopped face first on the bed.

For a moment she could hear only the clattering of pots and pans, and the sound of a microwave and then the usual, gentle, unforgettable humming began to float in the air, dancing around her being, at this point, she didn’t even know what he was singing but that it was smoothening enough to lull her to sleep.

She didn’t know how long she was asleep, but she woke up when he gently shook her, whispering nonsense in her ear- oh wait no he’s talking about food. Soon enough she was sitting on the floor, sitting in front of her was the idiot, platting for her and himself, yapping about how he spent the entire afternoon sleeping and all she did was sleep, but that’s okay because she needed the rest, the list continued; Yangnyeom Chicken, Tteok-bokki and even ordered something sweet just for her-

“Why are you being so nice?”

Her words caused him to stop, as he looked at her, eyes narrowing at her for a split second before he took a deep breath, thinking about his words then speaking, “For ghosting you last night-”

“No, that’s not what I asked, and you know it- first you said no to even helping me, then you suddenly decided to help, you made me dress differently than I do, you didn’t even let me correct the waitress when she called you my boyfriend and- and then you just let her!” she didn't know when she started yelling, but when she stopped to take a deep breath, her eyes caught the whirlpool of emotions, she probably should’ve stopped, but she didn’t, years of it boiling and bubbling within her- she felt exploited, she felt cheated and misguided- hell she was even mad at herself, she was his best friend but was that enough of a reason for her to keep hurting? Perhaps she was hurting, but she wanted him to hurt too, even if that meant she would never see him again, “Then you ghost me like I don’t even exist! What is your problem!? Don’t you see what you’re doing to me? How can you do this!?”

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!”

The next couple of seconds were probably the worst he had ever spent in silence, his chest burning with every breath he heaved in, staring at her, the grip on his glass tightening, feeling the world around them constrict, squeezing in around them- or so he thought, he had yet to face the worst and when that moment arrived, it felt like he was slapped in the face, enough to have it stinging for days, especially when the words settled around them, the two words that she had, oh so casually, thrown at him like it didn’t matter at all like he didn’t matter at all like they never mattered at all. Instantly his brain had switched off, tuning out anything and everything that he could sense, wanting the earth to swallow him whole, wanting nothing more but to take a cold shower, to possibly feel something again, to possibly let out all he was feeling, to possibly forget her- forget them.

“Nah, bro.”

Did she f*ck up? Yes. Was she aware she f*cked up? Again, yes. She had realised what she had done as soon as the words had slipped past her lips- mind you, in her many years of being friends with this moron she had picked up a few bad habits from him, like staying up late at night, reading the end of a book first (just in case it had a sad end so she could throw it away) and perhaps losing the ability to think before she spoke- this one was a new trait she had acquired, one she had discovered just last night, as soon as he had slammed the door in her face, running away, ignoring her as she yelled out his name, waking up almost every other girl in the building. And no, he chose not to answer her calls or her texts- hell she even woke up poor San, who wasn’t at the dorm, weird, where exactly was he sleeping on a Thursday night if not at the dorm, she should ask Wooyo- oh wait, she can't! Because she F*CKED UP AND HE WAS IGNORING HER! Like hell!? She didn’t even mean the ‘Nah, bro.’ as an insult or a rejection, but for some reason after he dropped the ‘L’ bomb on her, that was all her brain could process at that given moment, perhaps because she was so stunned by the fact that he didn’t just like her back, he loved her! And she loved him. So, the nah bro was more like an ‘oh damn’, or an ‘oh god’ or an ‘oh wow’- okay, none of those seem like good responses when someone confesses to you, but see! That’s the point, it was so spontaneous- maybe she should’ve just kissed him- nah, she wouldn’t trespass his physical being like that- maybe she should’ve patted his shoulder? - wait, what if he hated her now? Realised it was a mistake and he was glad she messed up so he’d never have to see her again- oh no.

Slamming her hands on his door she let out a shaky breath, the intensity of her knocks increasing, this was not how she had expected her Sunday morning to go, breaking into the boy's dorms at university, slamming her fists so loud that the whole block may as well be awake. Was she risking expulsion, probably, but was he worth it- oh for sure.

"WOOYOUNG!"

"WHAT!"

The door slammed open, revealing a dishevelled Wooyoung, in nothing but his underwear, eyes widening at the realisation that it was in fact not Yunho who was bothering him in his early hours of brooding, but the source of his heartbreak had come to him. Now, mind you, the man lived with other men and never in his life did he imagine the girl he had been simping for, his own best friend, would come up to him in his domain like this, the same girl he had confessed to the night before, laid his heart bear and open for her to trample over like a wench- "Is that my hoodie?"

She stared at him, no, she shamelessly ogled at the boy-man- she had spent bullying and playing around with in her younger days. In front of her was not her annoying, stupid, dumb, irritating best friend but a who the fk, what the fk, why the fk- her chain of thought broke at his question.

"Wh-what?" breathing out, still trying to catch her breath from the extensive running she had done up the flight of stairs- curse him for living in a building with no elevator- that and the sight before her had her all hot and bothered even more. Note to self, this was- no wonder he was the king of the playground, she’d be his queen any day- well he did want her to be one until she managed to ‘wooyoung’ herself.

"Why-" shaking his head, he rubbed his face before crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the door frame, did she look all adorable, flushed pink, hair a mess and in his hoodie? Yes, was he still mad at her, definitely- so he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of getting a quick reaction this time. He had spent all night crying, all night wondering and thinking of all the possibilities and incidences that could have her give this kind of response, this king of rejection, for her to just…just say something like that. He tried calling San but that useless butt was sleeping at someone’s (of course it was that girl from Philosophy 101- he’d seen them giggling like teens way back in the library- see, even he had someone, public or not- so no, he was not going to give her the satisfaction of him giving into her so easily, “What do you want?"

"I- you- I mean- oh my god- we like- f*cked." the words jumbled up, tumbling out of her mouth before her brain could from the sentence, "I f*cked up, my god, I do like you."

He knew what she meant, but he wouldn't be Wooyoung if he said so, hence the crooked smile that adorned his slightly puffy face, eyes heavy and droopy with sleep, "Unfortunately we haven't, but we could if you'd like”.

She stared at him for a good second, trying to process his response before raising her hand and slapping him across the face, enough for it to echo across the corridor and him to let out a mixture of a whimper and growl, hand on his burning cheek as he glared at her through bleary eyes, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

“ME? YOU CAN’T YELL I LOVE YOU AND THEN RUN AWAY-”

“YOU REJECTED ME! YOU CALLED ME BRO?!”

“IT WAS JUST AN EXPRESSION- I WAS SHOCKED OKAY! I DIDN’T THINK YOU LIKED ME BACK I-”

“I DON’T LIKE YOU BACK! I LOVE YOU!”

“And I’d love to report you two, but considering how I know she’s usually triggered by your stupidity, I’ll let you off with a warning.” The two turned around (well she did, he just frowned and scoffed before mumbling something and going inside the apartment), quickly bowing and apologising she stood up straight, face flushed with embarrassment, only to receive a gentle smile.

“Didn’t know you two were so dense, most of us thought you two were already dating…. anyway, please take this inside, we can’t have others know there's a girl here, as the Prefect I’ll keep it a secret since you’re my junior.” He winked before walking away- Park Seonghwa was so cool- OH WAIT WOOYOUNG.

Closing the door behind her she ran to his room only to find him putting on a shirt- dang- before he sat down on the bed and stared at her, raising an eyebrow at her pout, especially when she walked over to him and whined, flopping onto him- falling onto him- only to hiss when their heads collided as he threw her off her (next to him on the bed), whining “Are you stupid?”

“Yeah…” she whimpered, rubbing her forehead as she lay on her side, looking at his side profile, admiring his side profile, could she do this openly, since they were now a couple- or at least were going to become one? “Stupid for you.”

Turning his head to her, grimacing at the choice of her words, well, he needed to get used to the poor pick-up lines, not that he would mind of course- “I love you too.”

Her words brought him back to them, sighing when he felt her press her hand against his pink cheek, feeling her thumb caress the stinging skin, scooting closer to her as he carelessly draped an arm around her waist pulling her even closer- he wanted more, the proximity between them to completely finish, but he couldn’t push her, he could never- he knew she took things slow and he’d let her no matter how long he had to wait- his eyes widened at the sudden pressure he felt on his lips, though it was gone as soon as it came, causing him to whine, looking back at her as she covered her face with her hands, mumbling an, “I couldn’t help myself.”

“Same, sis.”

“Hey!” sitting up she glared down at him only for him to shrug, “Now you know how it felt.” He smirked all smug before moving further up the bed until his back was pressed against the padded headboard, opening his arms wide for her, a gesture the two understood all too well, a small smile gracing his lips when she instantly snuggled up in his arms, melting into his embrace when he kissed the top of her head, only for him to giggle when she returned the gesture by pressing her lips against his pulse point, feeling her warm breath against him as he sighed, “So…no more Seonghwa?”

“Only needed him to move on from you.”

“Damn…” he sighed, squeezing her closer, not that she minded, she was finally getting the attention she deserved, the love she deserved, the love they deserved. It was a moment of purity, a moment of joy, a moment of sincerity that nothing and no one could ruin- “I was my own c*ckblock.”

“Shut up.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

A/N: Well that was a long wait- not like I have a project due on Monday but damn- I'm glad I finally finished this- I really hope it is worth the read.

Taglist: @edenesth @yessa-vie @the-kpop-simp @mlysalt @spooo00oky @slaayysis

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daisygirlwrites · 2 years

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Task Force 141 + Reader (Callsign-Crash): friendship headcanons

a/n: Hello hello! Just some random headcanons that I had written down for Crash and her relationships with the members of the 141 team. Nothing romantic, just some wholesome stuff.

original gif by @collinnmckinley

also, this is really freaking long, sorry in advance. enjoy reading!

Before getting thrown out the window and getting her callsign, she was quiet and shy around the group. Opting to listen to others conversations, rarely adding to it.

Honestly intimidated with how tightly knit the team is, and given her previous team’s history, she was scared to get close.

Volunteered to be the DD whenever the group goes out to a bar. Fortunately, most of the time, Ghost is sober(enough) to help her get everyone into the car and into their rooms

Would silently comfort Soap and Gaz whenever they threw up, rubbing their backs and getting them water.

In the mornings after, she got everyone a breakfast burrito. Soap and Gaz are eternally grateful. Got a little information about her when they asked why she got them food. “Help with my hangovers during college.” Soap and Gaz gave each other a look as she walks away

After the window incident, Crash becomes a lot more open. Seeing how they treat her as if she has been with them for years, it wasn’t fair to them with how closed off she was.

Soap:

He talks to you a lot and you don’t mind. He just comes out and starts rambling on whatever he has interested him at that moment. You don’t really say anything, just sitting there awkwardly (because why would he want to talk to the newbie instead of his friends) but nodding to what he says anyways. One time though, he looks at you and says “Thanks for listening to me. It’s nice to have someone not tell me to ‘Shut the fuck up Mactavish.’”

Literally you after he tells you this:

“you’re my friend now. we’re having soft tacos later” vibes

Would send him memes and funny videos whenever you guys are on leave

His contact name on your phone is “Bubbles”

Would show you how to make bombs out of random shit. Set them off in bare fields or abandon buildings. Had a couple close calls

Will let you call him Johnny but you call him Mac instead.

“Aww, why not, lassie?”

“I’d rather not get my ass beat by your boyfriend.”

Calls you Lassie along with your callsign. When he wants to piss you off, he calls you Mini Ghost or Little Ghost

Like Ghost, you rarely take off your balaclava and tactical glasses

“The mask, take it off.”

“Nah, I don’t wanna.”

“You ugly?”

“Not as ugly as you old man.”

Has yet to seen you drunk though and he intends to get you there some day

Holds his hand when he’s throwing up

You would use him as a pillow during rides back to the base

The first person to tell him about any drama that’s happening in your life

Gives you advice about men

"Men are stupid, trust me, I am one."

Loves it when you would go on ramblings about the things you like. Anime confuses the hell out of him but he would always ask you about the plot and your favorite characters. He’d ask you about the current artist you listen to and has a list of recommendations from you so he could look them up when he gets home

After a mission gone wrong and believing that it was his fault, you seek him out, finding him sitting alone in the meeting room. You tell him

“It’s going to be okay. I trust you, John.”

He tears up and you wrap your arms around him.

Gaz:

With you two being the youngest, you bond over similar experiences

Sometimes share exactly one brain cell with each other. Sometimes you, Gaz and Soap share a brain cell

Brings out the chaotic gen z energy of each other

Your guys’ energy:

Follows each other on social media and would send each other tiktoks at ungodly hours

Kind of have a competition against each other to see who’s Price’s favorite child is

Gaz finally has someone who he can talk about anime with

Favorite shows to watch together: Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Champloo and Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure

Similar music taste. The whole team listens to Queen, David Bowie, Pink Floyd and a few more others. However, Gaz and Crash have the same love of rap and indie pop. Anything they find on tiktok will be added to their shared Spotify playlist.

Gaz would ask about how college was like. He thought about going but ultimately for him, the military was the better option

“Were you part of a sorority?”

“Oh hell no. Loved going to the parties though. Always had top shelf vodka.”

“Really? Thought students couldn’t afford it.”

“When it comes to alcohol, we find a way.”

Share the same sentiment of feeling like they’re not doing enough in the team. After a particularly rough mission, you two would find a corner and just sit together in silence.

Would break the silence by quoting something from vine or tiktok and all things would be okay again

Price:

He has adoption papers ready

Crash, despite your name, is polite, respectful and responsible. Would always help Price clean up after meetings and briefs

Same with Soap, you would listen quietly to Price’s war stories and even his favorite fishing trips

Saw in your file about what happened to your old team and captain. Vows to never pull the same stunt as them

Sadden to see how you’re so young and has seen and dealt with many things already. It breaks his heart that there’s more that you’ll experience.

You, Soap and Gaz would do dumb shit all the time but you knew when it was the right time to bail. Of course, they would snitch on you to Price. You’d rarely get in trouble though

Basically you two:

Would gift him cigars from the countries you’d visit during leave

Also a matching set of torch lighters. His has a special green flame while yours is pink.

You don’t smoke anymore but you would hangout with him and help him finish reports together.

Price often thinks about a life where he didn’t join the military. A life of normalcy. To go to a home filled with life.

Would have loved to have kids and technically, he still can but his job makes it almost impossible.

But with Gaz and now you, you two are his pride and joy.

Would be the “hip” dad and will always ask about the new slang and memes

“This food is-what you kids call it...uh, busting!”

You and Gaz look at each other, “It’s bussin’.”

“This food is bussin’!”

Ghost:

Did not to want to get close to you at all.

Was honestly peeved when Price told him that he was going to mentor you

“I don’t want to play babysitter, Captain.”

Surprised to see how short you were. All of the rumors and information he was told, they never mention your size

At first, he hated how you would follow him around like a lost puppy.

“Leave me alone, go bother Soap or something.”

Doesn’t miss the flash of hurt in your eyes but you turn around anyways.

Before you joined, he, Price and Laswell were all sitting in Price’s office, his phone on speaker. He was reading over your file before Price’s contact said

“She reminds me of Ghost when I worked with him seven years ago.”

He looks up from the folder, Price’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise and Laswell nodding.

“I think we’ll have her transferred to us,” Price replies.

Hates to admit but he’s impressed. Thought the rumors was bullshit but you proved him wrong, time and time again

You still have a lot of things to learn and even more practice to do but he believes in you

Does not go easy. He’s merciless. Has put you down countless times and reprimanded you more. You would always leave training sessions with a new bruise. The rest of the team gets concerned with his training methods.

But you still get up and you blink away the tears whenever he shouts at you

At about five months after you joined, on a mission, you spot an enemy behind him before he does and without a word, you quickly take your knife out and throw it towards the man behind him.

He opens his mouth to yell at you but he sees the enemy on the corner of his eye and watch him slump down. Your knife stuck in his bleeding neck

Gives you a nod after that. Pulling out your knife and handing it back to you

Knife throwing would be one of the training sessions you’d do. It was also a good time for some small chat

Finds out that you’re also a part of the “Dead Mom, Shitty Dad” club

It takes a year for him to SLIGHTLY open up to you

Told you about one of his favorite dishes his mom made and his favorite Queen song was ‘You’re My Best Friend’

Even told you how he likes his Earl Grey prepared

It scares him of how much you remind him of his mom and brother. You have her kindness and his determination. He will never tell you this

You, along with the team, become the very thing he cares about and will protect you to the best of his ability.

Bonus:

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nemesyaaa · 1 month

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a house in nebraska ! rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary ; you were the reason he won't come home but you still call home. this story is based on the song of ethel cain.

warnings : it's angst. fully angst. it's about toxic relationship. so violence, arguing and fighting, sick behavior, daddy and mommy issues, the urge of love and being loved, mentions of drugs, the feeling of being misunderstood and unsteady. home is used as a metaphor of relationship. it's about inner rage too. slight of smut but very little. both rafe and reader being fucked up. southern goth/small town coded.

author's note : it's my first time writing angst so be easy one me please ! as i said, it's based on " a house in nebraska" by ethel cain (because she's my favorite artist and my muse.) and a lot of her songs make me think of rafe, but i also take inspo of her others songs like crush, strangers, and hard times. also a hint of bet on losing dogs by mitski.

i dont know how many words are in this works, but i think around 3k ? it's a one-shot ! BETTER TO READ IT WHILE LISTENING TO A SAD SONG. (a house in nebraska (live version)or anything else)

you lived in the nebraska with rafe, he was your man and you were his girl. it was a small town that allowed you to be just him and you against the world, to be safe from the rest. but the ugly truth was that your house had become a raging mess. the mattresses had become dirty, the silence too comfortable, the night too long, the emptiness too deep, the love too absent and the violence too present. everyone was angry here, even demons and the silence.

rafe was a storm, and every time you tried to calm it, you became further worse. no, you weren't becoming like him, you were becoming him, the mirror of his emotions, full of rage and inexpressible feelings. like a bomb, you needed it to come out, to scream and explode. like a bomb, you needed to hurt, and destroy everything in your way.

you had built this house together, when he still worked with his hands, oh god, how much you loved those big and strong hands, the dirt and bruises on his skin. the softness of his palms when he touched you, the pulsating veins engraved. they were made to love you, to caging you. they were always rushed with blood and wounds because of his work, but despite how dirty they were when he came home, they were always pure and clean on your body. but you also were so in love with his messy sweaty hair, caressing by the wind. he was tall and handsome, the kind of man who worked all day, and drunk at night, some whiskey or bourbon. but never missed to please the needs of his girl.

when he smoked his red marlboros on the porch, you were sitting on his lap like a sleepy girl to take a nap on his heavy arms that managed to hug your body. when he took a sip of his cold beer, while you had nothing to do but being his own pretty girl. when he allowed you to bathe him, cleaning the mess and the sweat. when you used to learn him how to play some classic music on the old piano, and he was just turned on by the way you used so damn well your fingers, and making you sit on the board, and fuck you right there, even if the windows were wide open.

at this time, you would have die for him.

when he still listened to what you said, when he still answered your calls and did not make you sick by his silence, when you laughed every time he came home . but now you were starting to hate the fact that he was coming.

how did the man who was supposed to make you so happy manage to break you so easily? but you weren't an angel either, oh far from it, you had neither wings nor halo on your head, you didn't even have god in your heart. you made him, like all men, your enemy.

it was four in the morning, it was still dark, you were waiting in the living room.

the tv wasn't on. rafe had broken it during an argument. that wasn’t the only thing he shattered, you had to be the hardest thing he does. not even with his fists, with just the force of his words, the way they were murderous, the way they had the force to tear your heart open and crushed it into pieces.

most people would say that this man was not the type to cry, that a man doesn't cry, but rafe cried. and you had seen him a couple of times, and the first time you saw him burst into tears, you knew straight away that it was the real him. that behind all this hatred, this anger, there was a hurted little boy. and who grew up with an open wound, a wound impossible to heal, even with all the love in the world.

rafe was the kind of man who screamed, who cried, who bled, a fallen angel who had lost god along the way, who had been ignored, but mostly, never heard.

when he opened the door to the house, you hated the strong smell of alcohol, but also of blood. you never asked him for anything, the only thing you wanted was for him to come home on time for dinner, to go to bed with you. but no one, absolutely, no one tamed a dog like him. and you rathered not bet on losing dogs.

“where were you ?? ” you had already started shouting due to lack of patience, getting up from the chair to confront him.

you had seen him sigh, making that bored face, like you had no reason to be upset, that face that made all women become even worse.

“if you had the same energy to scream when we fuck, we would have a fantastic sex life.”

“seriously, rafe? you want to play the asshole, right now ? ”

“ it will suit your bitch behavior, so why not ?”

you slapped him very hard in the face. what obviously rafe didn't find this very amusing, he crushed you in the wall, pinned your hands above your head.

“ don't you dare slapping me again. you want to be mean, sweetheart ? i can be meaner. let's see....oh this is the necklace that your mom offered to you before leaving ? how sweet. maybe, i can sell it for a good price. ”

“ rafe. don't. ”

he shushed you, by putting his other hand on your mouth. “ you're not allowed to talk right now. you had your turn for, now, it's my fucking turn. and i will do whatever the fuck i want ! it's my house, my rules. ”

he unhooked the necklace, as you tried to break away from his grip but he closed his fingers tighter against your wrists.

“I'm going to kill you, no matter what you do, i'm going to kill you. ”

“murder me” he said with a louder voice. “i’m asking you to murder me! it’s probably the only good thing you’ll have done well in your life. you know even if i die tonight, i will die yours. even if you kill me, i will always be here.”

he released you, and you exploded. “you have exceeded the limits, rafe! ”

” since when are there boundaries between us, sugar? we're freaks, remember? ”

you threw away the first object you found, it was an empty coffee cup. you threw it at his face. but he had dodged it with a sick smile. your jaw clenched, eyes blazing with fury, you were out of control. you were what he wanted you to be every time he came home late

” oh you can do better than that baby. i'm sure i taught you how to shoot better than this when i showed you how to kill? do you remember? ”

“ this, this fucking attitude, rafe is why everybody leaves you ! ”

“ yes. and do i fucking care, y/n ? do i fucking care ? i grew up in a family where nobody loved me, nobody reached after me, nobody looked after me, nobody dared to pay attention to me and you tell me i have to care about everyone leaving me ? no, it's not fucking fair ! so do you understand ? i don't care. if you want to leave, you know better than me that the door is open because you're the only one to be stucking in front, waiting like a fucking dog that i come come. ”

“ fine. i leave ! ”

you took the keys of the car, even if rafe hated that you drove, especially at midnight. but you were too upset, too mad.

your man wasn't done with you. he stood in front of the car you were driving.

“if you think i'm afraid of killing you, when you were the one who taught me how to do that, you're wrong. ”

" yes ? then show me how well i did my job. kill me. ”

“ rafe, i’m not kidding. ”

“ perfect, we are both serious then. ”

you moved the car forward, pressing the pedal with your feet. you hitted him with the car. it was strong but not violent either.

you got out of the car quickly to check on him. but he was smiling, a little blood on his face.

“are you sick!? ”

“ i raised you well, i fear. now, lick this face. i can see in your eyes how pretty you find me covered with blood, so please yourself, lick it all. ”

“ wait, i will find some tis….”

“ no, with your tongue. clean my whole face with your tongue. don't waste anything. i want to be able to kiss you right after, and recognize the taste of my blood all over your mouth. you want to be sick ? make me feel sick too. ”

maybe you were too young to realize that some loves could be bad. but this relationship was toxic. you had both destroyed each other, and it was complicated when you saw this world, this universe only through your union. you felt like you had lost a lot, like you had lost everything, like you had failed. maybe, you were the failure, and rafe, the problem. but also, maybe, he was the failure and you, the problem.

and you hated not knowing what was going on in rafe's head, you hated that no one on this earth could figure it out, and that even rafe himself didn't know it. he was crazy, he was sick but that wasn't all, it couldn't be just that.

you gave up the fight, going to the bathroom to take a bath. you needed some peace because the house didn't feel like a home anymore.

sometimes wheezie would call you to see if you were okay, she had grown up, and you lied to her all the time. because it hurt so much to be two in a relationship, but not feel like you were a part of it anymore. and the worst part of it all was that you could kill yourself for just one minute of affection, just one second of happiness, just one moment in the past when everything was okay. where rafe was still the sweet little boy you knew. but the stories were not meant to have a happy ending.

it was hard this feeling, this lack when he still lived with you in this terrible house. but one day you'll be the reason he won't come home again. but you would always call home. you promised yourself. because it would always be yours.

rafe had joined you in the bathtub. and you could tell by his red and empty eyes, his blank stare that he had been crying. he cried and he was not the drugs, he was you, only you.

and you didn't mention it. you didn't say anything. you preferred to stay smart and not start another fight.

“the walls could break down with so much screams. ” you said, laughing slightly.

“maybe we should sell the house. ”

“i like this house. i feel at home here. i have nowhere to go. ” you lied for the two first, but not for the last.

and it was true. you had built everything, paved everything here. you had remade a world. you couldn't leave, you couldn't leave anything. and above all, you were too tired to leave.

it would be a lie to say that you didn't had sex in the bathtub, that you didn't feel his tears on your shoulder, that you didn't feel his thrusts get harder each time a sob broke out his empty eyes, that you didn't feel how much he was breaking every time you took pleasure. because, it was hard for him to seeing you being happy. because it was so hard to take care of you. because it was so hard to feel loved and being loved. you were both too young, too stupid, too sick for love.

and rafe wanted to make you happy without sex, without all this selfish sex. no, he wanted to make you happy by some casual things. but sometimes, you pissed him off so bad to the point, he wanted to leave. but how can a man who hoped to be loved can leave the woman who promised to cherish him ? it was too tired, too angry, and too unsteady to leave. you broke him too. and it was sad for him, because you were the only one he was not scared to tell it hurts.

but at six in the morning you were fighting again as if it were a ritual, a need, a desire to destroy each other, as if sometimes love needed to be violent and destructive to work. actually, for freaks like you, surely.

“why did you throw my fucking drugs down the toilet?! ”

“because you don’t need that!” ”

“you don’t know what i need, you barely know what i want! you had no fucking right to do that. ”

“ don't be a crybaby ! ”

“ repeat. i dare you to repeat. ”

“crybaby! you're a fucking crybaby, rafe! your new personality changes nothing about the boy you were and will always be! what, you don't like the truth ? bad for you, i'm about to tell you what everyone doesn't want to tell you. because i'm not scared at all of you ! you're a fucking crybaby ! ”

“ but you're still here, you're still fucking here. because you know what ? i'm maybe a crybaby, but i'm a river worth wading. and this is why, you're standing in front of me with all this confidence. you wanted a broken man, you wanted someone to fix ? then come on baby, i'm here, i'm watching you, i'm listening, i'm literally at your feets, fix me ! fix the little boy you wanted, make him better. ”

“ rafe…”

“no, i'm asking you now who do you think you are? do you think that because you have this attitude, it doesn't make you a little girl who needs her daddy? because damn, yes, you need him. but i fear daddy was the only one who didn't need you because guess what ? he left. and you make all the men leave around you ! but the difference between us is that you care. when i fucking dont care.”

“ you're sick, a sick asshole. and don't touch me ! ” you pushed him away, but he came back, his hand on your throat. “ but you're the sick one who loves me, remember that ?” he answered.

“ but do you think i still love you ? ” you said with a smirk, taking pleasure to see his widen eyes. “ i'm asking you right now, do you think i still love you, and if one day, someone will like you like i do ? it would be so hard for you to find happiness after me, i can promise you this. you will fight a lot. because ? can you see ? can you see i can breathe without you, i can live without you ? but you, can you do this ? yes, you can fight, you can scream and shout but what else ? ”

“ it doesn't hurt, y/n. it doesn't hurt. and you can't break me, as you can't fix me. ”

“ then why are you crying, big boy ? why are those tears for, if not for me ? ”

“ i built a home for you, i did everything for you. ”

“ and then what ? ”

“ don't make me regret it, y/n. don't make me regret the only good thing i've made well in my life, just don't make me regret...this. you don't understand. why did every house i'm in never felt like home ? ”

“ you destroy everything, rafe. but me too, i guess. the difference is that you have an excuse, a reason for being like that. your dad fucked up with you. and i hate him for that. if he had loved you correctly, you would have known and learned how to love people, how to be attached to them. but you don't know any of that, you don't know what it is to love, and to be loved. everything i do for you, you could call it love, even when i'm mean. but it's false, love is tender, it's beautiful. but you know, i think i'm sick because i also like the way you love me, this violence, this rage, this impulsiveness, it drives me crazy but it makes me alive. so, do you think you could do it again? ”

“ why you didn't leave, why you never leave ? ”

“ because it's our house. we're stuck in forever. this is our house in nebraska, our only heaven. now be a good boy and cry a little for me, i think i'm going away a little...” you said, taking him in your arms, your hand placed on his back, and your hand pressed to his cheek. “don’t worry, i cry a lot too. all the time, even when you make me happy. ” you shushed him, bursted in tears in the hug.

you kissed him on the corner of his lips, your mouth meeting his tears, before he joined you in this kiss, you felt his sad and salty tongue against yours, his hands came squeeze your waist.

but now in the present, you were alone. the house still existed but it was just you.

you weren't sleeping anymore, because you kept hoping that he would come home, you were hoping that he would come home late at night.

but you were alone in a dirty and cold mattress. and you prayed for him hoping he was okay. the phone was broken but you were hoping to hear it ring, the door was open and you were waiting for a sign.

nothing was right, everything was wrong. you just wanted to say to rafe that he had you, that he had a house, and his home missed him, like nobody ever does in his life.

you didn't realize that you had been lying all this time, and that you were silently dying. but at least you died, only his.

233 notes · View notes

soobnny · 1 year

Text

classmate au | park sunghoon

❝ what do you have for lunch today? ❞

alexa play 0x1=lovesong

in your head, he’s the love interest with 0 interest in you🥲😢😢😢😢

it’s bc he’s so DAMN famous in your school

yes he’s your classmate .. ltrly in the same room but u cannot make conversation with him

he sleeps in class when he can like he will be DOZED OFF !!!!

nobody rly approaches the pretty boy

you’ve heard he’s rejected a handful of people before

you wont make a move for sure

so why does Park Sunghoon drag his seat so he’s sitting adjacent of you

why is he pulling out his lunch box and putting it on ur little table

WHY IS HE EATING WITH YOU

you don’t say anything when he does it

and he doesn’t say anything either

honestlyyyy…. it’s a little awkward like wtf is happening rn this is a Simulation

BUT you’re eating lunch together

and guess what

it becomes a constant thing too 😭

like he’d just silently drag his seat and you know he’s on his way to your table to eat lunch

is it because you’re one of the few people who eat in the room instead of the canteen??

tbh WHO CARES

unattainable campus crush park sunghoon is in front of you and eating lunch with you for some reason

it makes ur heart go crazy becos !!???!!!

he doesn’t rly acknowledge anyone

it’s bc he’s always busy being exempted for some competition

he finally starts talking to you when he sees you watching a yuzuru hanyu video during one of your little lunch sessions

tbh it was just a small video on tiktok that u scrolled by and returned to bc wow that spin was so cool

it’s when he starts making convo that u find out he’s actually SO funny and so unhinged

he’ll start laughing to himself 😕😕

also will tell the most UNFUNNY dad jokes

you only laugh because his laugh is so loud and so unrestrained

tho you do tell him his jokes are horrible

and he makes everyday a mission to tell you a joke that’ll genuinely make you laugh

it becomes your thing

he’ll just randomly show up in front of u and start cracking the most terrible joke

“rip boiling water. you will be mist!”

cue his laughter

you: 😐😐😐 not funny didn’t laugh

then sunghoon becomes more of a friend… not some unattainable crush figure !!! a friend !!!

some of his favorite things to do with you are watching videos during lunch AND sharing earphones while you listen to music

your fyp on tiktok now is both of ur shared interests

you even have a folder on each of ur phones for tiktoks u wanna share to each other that u pass by when u aren’t together

no he doesn’t send u the link like a normal person

sunghoon waits until class to show u so he can see ur reaction face to face

and the whole listening to music ??? u’ll just be seated side by side and staring into the distance sometimes

spacing out is wonderful <3

so now instead of sleeping .. he’ll just offer u an earbud so you can put it in your ear and listen to him

has a secret playlist for u (u don’t know this)

the photo for the playlist is the only photo u have together btw

it was when u were checking ur face on ur front cam and he just suddenly appeared in the back with a peace sign

it’s adorable

he bugged u to airdrop the photo 9284 times that day bc u refused to at first

it’s so 180 the way you suddenly become friends with him !!!!!

another thing he does is laugh at how you enjoy playing candy crush, calling you a grandma as if he doesn’t act like an old man

and then he gets so invested when you let him try

will cheat to get more lives and fuck up your time settings on your phone

btw he always talks about you A LOT 😭

his friends will know everything about you before you even meet them

“so, what level are you in candy crush?”, jake would ask the first time you meet

“excuse me, what??”

“sunghoon talks about you aaaall the time, it’s getting a little silly. like i know your go-to order at a cafe.”

“yeah like isn’t ur favorite color ___”

u look at sunghoon like ?????? and he just has a guilty smile on his face

but he doesn’t deny anything

you’d be shocked to suddenly see him as your seatmate one day like he rly switched with the person sitting next to you

laughing at your test paper scores together is also a fun little activity the two of u do

and then crying as you cram study in one of ur homes or on call when it gets too late

“hey can u help me with this chemistry question”

“ok give me a minute”

would open up those white board apps and screenshare his phone to start helping u with a part he understands but u don’t

he was 828283 screenshots of ur calls together

btw you CANNOT go to the library

you know that if you go to a library together … yall are NOT studying 😭

also u enjoy just shooting each other questions back and forth before the test

u would also probably come up with ways on how to cheat im sorry like u guys will have this whole grand scheme only to chicken out of it when u actually take the test

anyways

one day, you ask him why he had suddenly started eating lunch with you

bc like !!!! u’re happy he did but why so suddenly yknow

you’re grateful tho bc now u have someone to text like 25/8 and call whenever u’re bored

BUT U WANNA KNOW WHY. what started it

“i don’t know... i’ve always wanted to talk to you. you’re always so funny in class”

“and you didn’t say anything because??”

“i was gonna say something then i totally chickened out and then it was too late to say anything…. thank god for yuzuru hanyu.”

asks u to be his gf while teaching u figure skating for the first time

bc u finally ask him like dude why r u ALWAYS absent from classes

he’s like oh no biggie i’m ltrly just an athlete that competes in national events 😹😹😹

WTF !!!!!!!!

u knew he was competing in something but he never mentioned Figure Skating before

he is a fraud of a Friend

“sunghoon what does our friendship actually mean to u … WHERE IS THE LOVE”

but then he’ll go .. “want me to teach you?”

he’s forgiven now

“teach me figure skating??”

“yes” and he’s SOOOOO excited about it

he helps you find which skates to wear like he makes sure u have right size so ur feet don’t hurt

doesnt let u borrow those polar bears to hold onto

he can be ur polar bear

tho, when u do get tired .. he finally rents one and lets u sit on it while he pushes u around

it’s so much fun

except for when you fall

tho … it’s important for me to tell you that when you fall on your butt, he has heart eyes

and he holds your hands the entire time

he asks u to be his gf when you skate ur way across the rink without his help

sunghoon got so happy he just blurted it out

“be mine”

BYEEEEEE ofc u say yes

tho u think he’s joking at first

he does repeat it when you eat ramen after .. he’ll be like r u actually fr ??? did u actually say yes to me ??? u wanna deal with my jokes forever ??

oh dear

you should invite yuzuru hanyu to your wedding honestly 😭 thank u to ur fyp

note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! last of the series, let me know what you think!

2K notes · View notes

beesspacedotorg · 4 months

Text

The Sky is Blue, the Grass is Green

Summary: You love your girlfriend more than anything else in the world. It's not hard, she's perfect for you. You'd give her everything she could ever want and more still.

Warning: SEX LESBIAN SEX WITH GIRLS AND LESBIANS. I will say that reader has a vagina as does lino. hits is because I wrote this while half asleep after not sleeping for 16 hours with a sore throat and forgot to write gender neutral reader. outside of the fact that the reader has one of those body type is not specified because :|. uh. spanking (sorry, I'm me) and mommy kink (me) and girls being in love with each other

notes: happy pride month. I've been listening to a lot of music by sapphics recently and it made me gay. Also I saw some loser say that Chappell Roan is the first queer person to publicly yearn for women and that is phenomenally untrue. Internet person who I've never met, this was written to spite you. Sorry for not making this more inclusive to women of all body types or to all lesbians regardless of gender. mayhaps I will write something for you soon. EXTRA NOTE: Moon Chaeyoung is not a kpop idol (to my knowledge) she is Cindy Moon aka Silk aka a Spider-Man. Chaeyoung is her Korean name. sorry for the slander, Cindy, I love you more than anything but I needed a name.

You’re going to make her your wife one day. You know this with the certainty that you know everything else. The sky is blue, the grass is green, you are going to marry Lee Minho. You’re staring at her, watching her make breakfast (that isn’t actually breakfast because you’re eating it at 2pm) in an old school shirt of yours and you can feel your love for her swell through your heart to be pumped through the rest of your body. You think that loving her is the most effective drug on the planet, that people wouldn’t need anything stronger than an ibuprofen because just spending a minute alone with her is enough to give you a high unlike any other. She turns around to plate the food and catches you staring, she always does, and it makes her ears blush crimson.

“Yah,” she says it softly, “take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Why would I need a picture when I have the real thing right in front of me?” Her ears turn a new, deeper shade of red and she avoids your gaze.

“You’re a charmer, you know that?”

“I have the most beautiful woman in the world in front of me and you want me to be normal about it?” You roll your eyes playfully, and reach for your cup to take a sip of your juice.

“No, you don’t,” she says, suddenly.

“‘No, I don’t’ what?”

“You don’t have the most beautiful woman in the world in front of you,” she hands you your plate - with no eggs because you can’t stand them, and no pork because it makes you sick, and french toast the way your dad used to make on lazy Sunday mornings - made with love and care just like everything else she does.

“You don’t have the most beautiful woman in the world in front of you,” she repeats, sitting down next to you with her breakfast that’s completely different from yours, “I do.”

“Minnie Mouse?” You just came from work, calling through the house to see if she’s home, too. You can tell from the aggravated sigh that comes from the living room that she is, indeed, home.

“You could literally call me anything else,” she’s wrestling Dori on her lap, the tabby always staunchly opposed to having his nails clipped.

“Where’s the fun in that?” You sit down beside her and take the clippers, letting her soothe and calm Dori while you make yourself his least favorite for the night. You’ll live. He’ll come begging for attention when Minho’s too busy being great at everything to give it to him.

“The fun is not having your girlfriend break your toes in your sleep.” You laugh at her and bring her Doongie, holding him instead because he doesn’t care about the whole process even a little bit and you want to pet his soft head.

“Did you know there’s nothing they can do for broken toes?”

“Really? Doongie, please stop wiggling so much.”

“Yeah, they kind of just say ‘good luck’ and kick you out before charging you one million dollars for breathing hospital air.”

“American healthcare really is something. How’d you learn that by the way?”

“My friend had an experience once. Also, it was mentioned in a video game.” She laughs, kissing Doongie’s forehead, then yours.

“Did you learn anything else in that video game?”

“I have incredibly poor hand-eye coordination.”

“I could’ve told you that.”

“What- what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Will you get a towel to wrap Soongie in, please?”

“Hey, wait. Hey! You can’t just say weird things and walk away!”

(“Can you really tell that I have poor hand-eye coordination?” You ask her this while she’s splayed out under you, two of your fingers knuckle deep in her sweet cunt while a thumb circles her clit.

“What?” She’s out of breath and her chest is heaving in a way that makes her tits look even hotter than normal. You almost lose your train of thought.

“Earlier. You said you can tell that I have poor hand-eye coordination.”

“Jesus- you stopped fucking me to ask me that?” One of her hands that was cradling your wrist goes up to her eyes to rub at them. “You’re something else.”

“Well! I just remembered it! Maybe I’m not doing a good job-”

“Stupid girl,” she’s got you on your back now, seemingly not caring about the orgasm she was approaching before you got distracted. “When have I ever not told you when I didn’t like something?”

“Uh. Never?”

“Exactly, so why do you think I’d start now? With this?” She gestures between the two of you and you look, stupidly, like you will see something other than your naked, sweaty body and her equally naked, equally sweaty, incredibly sexy body.

“That’s… that’s a great question.”

“I was just teasing, jagi. That’s all.” She kisses the side of your mouth and you can feel the way her lashes flutter along your cheek in a perfect butterfly kiss. Everything about her makes you fall deeper in love the longer you know her, even her stupidly long and perfect eyelashes.

“So, about my hand-eye coordination.” She drops her head to your shoulder with another curse and your hand comes up to play with her hair.

“It’s still bad, believe me. I don’t notice it when we have sex, though. You’re perfectly good with your hands, jagi.”

“The best?” She smiles, kisses you on the mouth this time.

“The best.”)

She’s got you in between her legs in the tub, her strong thighs thrown over yours so you can’t move while she aims the jet of the shower head directly on your clit. It’s almost too much, it always is, an unyielding wall of pressure that sends shocks of pleasure through your body in a way that makes you squirmy beyond belief. The first time you did this to yourself, you ended up with bruises on your back, the first time you did this with her, you almost elbowed her in the face. As it stands, she’s got her arms wrapped around you as best she can as you whine underneath her.

“I can’t, I can’t. ‘S too much, please.”

“Jagi,” she coos it right into your ear, “you haven’t even came yet. You keep tapping out before it gets good. Don’t you wanna come, baby?” You nod and she tilts her head out of the way so you don’t nail her in the jaw.

“I want to, but it’s so much.” She coos as you again as your legs scramble uselessly for purchase underneath hers. The tile is too slippery for you to do so, and Minho’s thighs are no joke. She’s danced for years and her gym routine is nothing to scoff at. You could spend hours writing sonnets about her legs if you weren’t so distracted.

“You can though, can’t you, kitty cat?” Your hand pats frantically at her arm until she gets the message to hold it in one of her own. “You can be good for me, right? You’ll come the way I want you to?”

The sound you let out in response to that is more of a cry than anything else, she shushes you and kisses your cheek sweetly like she isn’t the one overloading your nerves with sensation, like the isn’t the one unleashing as much water pressure as possible on the most sensitive part of your body. She shifts her grip just slightly, adjusts the angle and that has you lurching forward so fast you almost knock her over.

“Silly girl, don’t run.” She pulls you right back to her chest, boobs pressed against your back as she fixes the spray directly at the angle that had you reeling. “I always forget how squirmy you get when we do this.” She giggles, like she’s watching a silly cartoon.

“Mommy,” you can’t think enough to say anything intelligent, high, pitchy moans coming out in place of words. You want to answer her, to tell her you weren’t trying to run, that you will be a good girl for her. She’s trained you better than this, but you can’t say much else beyond her title, beyond her name. You hope she knows what you’re trying to tell her anyway.

“Oh, jagi.” Her voice is soft and sweet, but the way she’s pinning you is not. Neither is the way she’s forcing you to take what she gives you. “Mommy’s here, kitty cat. Mommy’s got you.”

“Mommy. Mommy.” You’re repeating it, over and over, too dumb to say anything else as you feel the overwhelming input you’ve been receiving crest higher and higher. She hums after each mention of her name like she understands what you’re saying. Hums like you’re one of the cats meowing at her for attention. You suppose she’s not too far off.

You cum with a near silent scream, breath halting in your chest in a way that used to concern Minho when it first happened. She doesn’t keep the water pressure going for too long after that, dropping the showerhead to replace the stream with her fingers to help you ride it out. She only loosens her grip when you slump back against her, loose limbed and dazed, muscles still twitching from how tightly they were tensed. She kisses the side of your face and very politely keeps her hands above your waistline while you calm down.

“You feel better?” She’s holding the shower head again, and giggles when you close your legs, simply holding it to the side so it doesn’t spray water all over the floor.

“Mhm. Thank you, mommy.”

“I’m glad. Let’s finish showering, yeah? Mommy will clean you up.”

(You’re leaning heavily against her as she guides you to sit on the bed, grabbing your respective lotions and hair care products and turning to take care of you first. You whine at her.

“Let me do yours!” She raises an eyebrow.

“Keep your eyes open for more than thirty seconds and maybe I will.” You lift your hands and manually pry your eyelids apart. She bats at them until you stop.

“Ew, it’s so gross when you do that. Freak.”

“I miss five minutes ago when you were telling me I’m the love of your life.”

“Five minutes ago you weren’t being a little shit head.”

“False. I’m always a shit head.” She hums and grabs your chin, wiggling your head a little until you look at her.

“No, sometimes, you’re my sweet little girl.”

“Oh.” There’s absolutely no hiding the way you react to her when she talks to you like that and your hands fly to her hips as she lets go and leans back out of your personal space to grab the stuff to start your post-shower routine.

“Let me eat you out.” It’s sudden, and comes out of you in a rush.

“What?” She nearly drops the bottle of leave-in, ears turning red.

“Please? Please. I’ll get on my knees right now.” She scoffs.

“You’re falling asleep as we speak”

“No, I’m wide awake right now. Please let me, please.” She hums.

“Let me finish what I’m doing and if you’re still speaking in full sentences and not going crazy with sleep induced hysteria, I’ll let you.”

“Yippee!”

“If you fall asleep you can have what you want in the morning.”

“You’re the best, ever.”

“I’m aware.”

By the time she’s done taking care of the both of you, you are definitely not well enough to be doing anything. That doesn’t stop you from trying though, and you fall asleep with your head pillowed on one of Minho’s thighs. She has to readjust you so you don’t suffocate in her cunt. What a way to go.)

Minho is having a bad day today. It isn’t often she has those, generally unflappable to most things, but she’d gotten into a fight with one of her work friends and came home in a huff.

“I just don’t understand why she won’t listen to me!” She’s slamming things open and closed around the kitchen while you sit on the counter. She works around you as she always does and doesn’t slam anything if it’s less than two feet away from you.

“I know, she’s a bitch. You should report her to HR or something.”

“I should!”

“I’ll help you draft the email. I’m very good at sounding bitchy in a nice way.”

“You are!” She’s aggressively chopping vegetables next to you and you rest a hand on her shoulder.

“Be careful of your fingers, lovie.”

“I’m always careful.”

“Of course you are,” you’re unusually agreeable because it will do nothing but harm to work your girlfriend up when she’s already upset. Besides, of the two of you, you’re more clumsy, so it’s not like you have any legs to stand on.

“Do you want solutions to what’s going on, or do you want me to keep calling your coworkers mean names?” It’s nice to ask people what kind of support they want, you learned. Minho is a coin toss, sometimes she wants an immediate solution, sometimes she wants to complain. You always do your best to meet her where she is.

“The second one, please.” She’s sauteeing something in the wok, and it smells delicious. You peer over her shoulder.

“Pause. Is that pancit?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re the love of my life.”

“Yes, yes,” you touch your pointer finger to the tip of an iron-hot ear as she speaks, “please call Moon Chaeyoung a cunt again, it’s funny.”

And so you do, going into detail about all the ways Moon Chaeyoung is inferior at her job compared to your girlfriend until she asks you for genuine help.

(“Is there anything else you need?” She’s laying with her head in your lap as you make tiny braids in her hair. Her eyes are closing and she hums as she thinks about it. You’ve already given her all the advice that you can, her only course of action now is to do it.

“Well. I can think of some things.” She turns her head to the side and shoves her face into your crotch like an animal. You swat her shoulder lightly.

“You’re a horn dog. Insatiable.” She turns her eyes to you, squinting them so her cat-like gaze shifts from playful to predatory.

“Which one of us woke the other up this morning because they couldn’t stop shoving their hands in their pants?” She sits up, leaning over you.

“I was dreaming!” You’re giggling, slipping under her arm and moving away.

“You kept going after I woke you up!” She stands up, throwing her arms in the air indignantly. You cross your arms in response.

“I was horny!”

“That’s exactly my point.” She has her head in her hands so the words come out muffled. She grumbles something and lunges after you. You squeal and head towards your room.

“Yah! Get back here you little shit!” She lets out a huff as you throw a cat toy at her.

“I thought I was the love of your life!”

“That was before you decided to run from me- don’t you dare close that damn door-” The bedroom door clicks shut and the sound of your giggles is uncontrollable. You hear her walk away before the lock jiggles and her head pops through.

“Guess who?” You laugh again, heading towards the bed to throw more things at her, it does nothing to stop her. It’s not long before she has you pinned underneath her.

“Hi,” you smile at her, leaning up for a kiss.

“All that and all you want to say to me is ‘hi’?”

“Yeah.” She rolls her eyes and flips you over as you yelp in surprise. You’re about to start questioning her when a sharp sting lights up your ass.

“Ah- Minho! Hey!”

“Stop squirming. I’m not done yet.” There’s another smack over your pants before she pulls them down and her palm is connecting with skin.

“This isn’t fair! I didn’t even do anything!” You’re protesting while laying limply across her lap. She laughs at you.

“‘This isn’t fair’ she whines. Why is your pussy so wet then, hmm?” She spreads your legs a bit and lands a smack there too, snickering when your legs close reflexively on her hand. “Be a good girl, jagi. Take what you’re given.”)

It’s sunny when you ask her. The air is hot and humid and she’s wearing this dress that’s making your brain melt out of your ears. You’re having a picnic, because you can, and she’s talking about this show that she’s watching with Jisung.

“And then- and you’ll never fucking believe this- he goes ‘I could never court her’ and she overhears. If that happened to me I would literally explode.” You hum, shoving a heart shaped sandwich in her mouth while you look at her side profile. She’s beautiful, sharp nose and a round face. You want to live the rest of your life with her.

You’ve talked about it before, on hazy mornings when the rest of the world is just waking. In the middle of the night when the only sound is the hoot of owls and the buzz of crickets. At lunch, at dinner, at breakfast. In the shower, over the phone, through text messaging when you’re at work. You both are listed on the cat's vet information, something she changed a year into dating that she was nervous about telling you.

“I don’t want you to feel pressured,” she’d said, “or like they’re your responsibility. I can take you off if you want, but I thought that if I was out of town or if something happened, you should be able to take care of them.” She’d been nervous, ears red with shame instead of the cute way they flush when you flirt with her.

“Thank you, jagi.” You don’t often call her that, preferring to torture her with bad puns using the syllables of her name, so her breath catches in her throat.

“You’re sure?”

“Of course.”

She knows every order that you get from fast food restaurants, she hounded your parents for their chicken noodle soup recipe when you got sick one time. She learned how to make your grandma’s spaghetti sauce and let’s you call her mommy in bed because it makes you feel safe.

She’s everything to you and then some, so when you tap her shoulder and hold out the ring you bought, it’s as natural as breathing. A fact of life, an inevitability. The sky is blue, the grass is green, you are going to marry Lee Minho.

“He keeps friendzoning her. It's absolutely despicable, like, are you blind or something-” She turns her gaze to you and her eyes go wide. “You’re joking.” Her eyes are welling with tears, something that you hardly ever see.

“I’m as serious as a heart attack, baby. Will you be my wife? I promise if you say yes I’ll start helping you make the bed in the morning instead of laying on it and making your job harder.” She hugs you, knocking you back onto the blanket you’re sitting on. The movement tips over your cup of lemonade and you damn near lose the ring.

“Of course I will. And you most certainly will not help. But that’s okay, I love you even if you create weird bumps in my sheets and mess up my hard work not five seconds after it’s done.” She kisses your face all over, resembling more like an overexcited puppy than the cats she favors, and you grab her hand to slip the ring on it.

“I love you, Minho. I really do.”

“I can’t believe I get to marry the most beautiful girl in the world,” she says, looking down at her hand.

“You don’t,” you start, kissing her cheekbone. “You don’t get to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. I do.”

(“You know,” she starts as you’re packing up, “I was going to propose to you soon.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Absolutely I am not.” She fishes around the pocket of her dress before pulling out a ring.

“This is so funny. Can I still have it?”

“Of course, it’s yours,” she slips it onto your finger, face heating up to match her ears, “everything I have is yours. Everything and then some.”)

#bee blurbs #ft.lino #lee know smut #lee know x reader #lee know x you #skz smut #skz x reader #skz x you #lee minho x reader #happy pride month everyone #auntie lee know #would it be too much to tag this post with lesbians

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respectthepetty · 1 month

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I don't even know where to start about First Note of Love! I knew I would love it because it's a Taiwanese BL and I love ALL Taiwanese BLs, but I LOVED the first two episodes, so let me list the reasons:

First, I don't know why I acted like I wouldn't like the music in First Note of Love when I still listen to the music from About Youth.

youtube

Because just like how Magnet's first performance felt like it would be a gimmick after they busted out this move, the music (unsurprisingly) has some heart.

It's clear from the BTS that the show put a lot of thought into the music and the actors were trained by female musicians, plus the music for the show was created by a female artist.

Which I also like the female characters in the show! Ting Fei did not need the guys to cause a ruckus (and get her fired) and Xiao Mei is not here for Neil's bullshit. They have dimensions.

When Reese asked if they knew each other, I'm not sure who said they did and who said they didn't, but I love that Neil looked slightly bothered by that yet Sea still admires Neil despite Neil being a jerk to him. I also love that Neil calls Sea "kiddo" so Sea starts calling him a "has-been." It's mutual hatred mixed with respect.

And I like that Sea eyed Neil's necklace because Neil will be handing it over to Sea as a a declaration of love before this ends, and I will be unwell about it.

Because the way this 19-year-old looks at his idol like he hung the moon and the stars yet is immediately hurt when Neil dismisses him is only the beginning of the love Sea is willing to give Neil if Neil will just take him seriously.

I love that it's clear Reese cares about his friend and also took Matt's death hard, but that his patience is running low with Neil's resistance to everything.

Also, Liu Min Ting's beauty might just get me to watch Guardian.

Now I'm even more excited to see him kiss a man!

I love that Sea also has a friend who is a hopeless romantic and overly optimistic so he can push Sea to accept the opportunities (and love) coming his way. When he told Neil he was attractive despite what Sea said, I loved that he was just as embarrassed as Reese was that their friends are being so damn rude to each other.

I love the combining of these scenes.

I hate this wig though. Take it off and light it on fire!

And I want to hate this, but it makes me love this show more.

Because I love everything about this show!

(except that damn wig)

#first note of love #I love it!#I'm so happy to have a Taiwanese BL again!#They are most beloved #Sea is my baby boy and he will get that mean old man to love him #Charles Tu is back on my screen and nothing can ruin my day now #Youtube

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ham-st4r · 1 year

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𝑼𝒏𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔 - 𝑳. 𝑯𝒆𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒖𝒏𝒈

❦PAIRING: heeseung + female reader!❦

❦WARNINGS: mentions of intimacy, angst, taboo relationship, small age gap, child abuse, cheating, (not reader) mentions of illegal racing & weed smoking, kissing, alcohol, selling drugs, divorce, violence, blood, injuries, cursing, crying (not as intense as it sounds but I did want to make sure I added all the warnings)

❦GENRE: step-mom reader, stepson heeseung, dysfunctional family, slow burn.

❦SUMMARY: in which you move in with your husband after your wedding, everything is perfect except for one thing, no matter what, you can't seem to get close to his son. Even after a year of knowing each other, you hadn't even spoken ten words until his 21st birthday rolled around, and funny enough he was the surprising you.

❦NUMBER OF WORDS: 14,364k

Find your way around!

Hello, this is my longest fic so far, so I hope it's okay. Please leave feedback and reblog! thanks so much, happy reading.

It had already been two months since you moved in with your husband, and things couldn't have been better. He gave you a key to the house and even bought a car for you as a welcoming gift which you thought was over the top, but he assured you that it was more than okay and that you deserved it, which made you fall for him even more if that was possible.

In the beginning, your parents weren't too fond of you marrying an older man when you were still in your late 20's it took a while to convince them, but he really made you happy, and when you introduced him to your parents over dinner, and they saw how radiant you were when you were with him they gave you their blessing, and you couldn't have been happier.

There was just one tiny little problem.

More like a big problem.

No matter what you did, his son heeseung wouldn't even spare you a glance, not when you first met, not at the wedding, and not since the day you moved in, absolutely nothing.

You knew it was probably hard for him to go through all this, especially as a twenty-year-old getting used to having a mom or (stepmom) all over again, but you've been in his life for about a year now, and he still hasn't warmed up to you yet.

"I don't think he likes me," you sighed as you cuddled up next to your husband on the couch in the living room.

He wrapped his arms around you to comfort you. "Don't worry, honey. I'm sure he'll come around soon. He's just adjusting to the new house and everything," he reassures you.

"I hope so." You said with a sad smile.

That conversation happened last month, and he still hasn't made any effort to communicate with you.

You've tried various things to get his attention, like taking him shopping or making his favorite foods. Nothing worked, but his twenty-first birthday was right around the corner, and you were going to try to use the special day as a way to get closer and bond with him.

You noted that he enjoyed listening to music like a lot, so you had bought him the airpod max hoping he enjoyed them.

You could only hope he didn't think you were trying to buy his affection cause you really weren't. You just wanted to get to know your son.

And speaking of your son, he didn't tell you where he was off to when he left earlier this morning, and when you asked him, he just slammed the door in your face without saying goodbye, which wasn’t surprising to you anymore.

You initially called your husband, but he didn't pick up the phone, which also wasn’t surprising anymore. You figured he was just working overtime like he often does.

But luckily for you, he had given you heeseung's phone number in case of emergencies, and to you, this was an emergency he left in the morning, and it was now midnight with no word from him, so naturally, you were worried about him.

Thankfully your worried heart was put to ease when he answered on the first ring, and you breathed a sigh of relief. "What?" His tone was cold and harsh, just like it had always been, but right now, you didn't care. You were just happy he answered.

"Are you okay? Where are you? What time are you coming home?" You said in a worrisome tone.

You could hear him sigh on the other end. "I'll be back soon" you could barely hear him from all the loud noise in the background.

"Okay, I'll heat up dinner for you when you arrive. Drive saf-" your shoulders slumped down in defeat when he abruptly ended the call.

Another hour had passed, and you began to worry again, but the keys jingling outside the door made you jump to your feet excitedly. At least one of your boys was finally home.

"Hey!" You greeted. "I'll go get you something to eat. I'm sure you're starving" Heeseung didn't even pay you any attention. Instead, he took his shoes off at the door and made his way upstairs to his room.

You could only watch him with a frown on your face once he was out of sight. You could have sworn you smelled the scent of weed coming off him, and you furrowed your brows. You didn't know he smoked, which made you wonder if your husband knew you made a mental note to ask him when he came home from work later on.

Which was apparently not going to be tonight, it was already two in the morning, and you fought to keep your eyes open so you could greet him when he came back, but as the clock struck 2:02 am, you found yourself shuffling off to your shared bedroom drifting off to sleep just minutes later.

The next morning you woke up to an empty bed, and you assumed you had overslept and hubby was already at work. However, when you turned to face the clock, it was ten in the morning. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, double-checking the time, and your eyes were correct. Maybe he worked all night or had to take the early shift. You'd just have to call him and figure it out later.

You got up and stretched for a while before going to the bathroom to wash up a bit.

Once you finished and went downstairs, you were pleasantly surprised to see heeseung dining at the table. "Morning," you greeted him with your croaky morning voice and a gentle smile as you made yourself a cup of coffee.

He didn't say anything, but that was to be expected. He never talked to you during breakfast. Since you moved in, you never had dinner as a family. It has always just been you and your husband occasionally while heeseung stayed in his room doing god knows what or you and heeseung sitting in absolute silence.

Once your coffee was ready, you joined him and quietly sipped your hot beverage. "I was really worried about you last night," you confess. You didn't want him to get up and leave when you tried to talk to him, but you wanted to express that you cared, and if that made him upset, you were willing to take that chance.

He looked at you briefly and took a spoonful of his cereal.

You took that as a sign to continue. "You don't have to tell me anything, but please just be home sooner than midnight," you spoke softly, just barely above a whisper, so you wouldn't scare him away.

He only gave you a small nod, but that was enough for a smile to spread across your face since he had finally acknowledged your presence.

You and him continued to have breakfast in comfortable silence until the front door opened and startled you slightly. "I'm home~" your husband sang as he stepped inside and took off his shoes.

You got up from your chair and ran over to him excitedly, wrapping your arms around his back and giving him a peck on the lips. "I missed you," you pouted, and he poked your cheek with a smile on his face.

"I missed you more" you grabbed his warm hand and led him to the kitchen table.

"We were just having breakfast. Would you like me to cook you something?" Before he could respond, heeseung had stood up and washed his unfinished cereal down the drain, and took off to his room.

You looked at your husband with sad eyes and sat on one of the kitchen chairs. "Why the sad face honey?" he stroked your cheek with his thumb lightly, and you leaned into his warm touch. "Hey, look at me" he tilted your head up slightly, staring at your beautiful eyes. "You had breakfast together again. That's a win, right?"

You’ve been having breakfast with heeseung since you moved in, and nothing has changed. It didn’t help you get closer with him, but you tried to stay positive, and you supposed your husband was right.

"Right" you got up from your seat and kissed his cheek. "I'll make some pancakes. How does that sound?"

"That sounds lovely." He agreed and gave you that beautiful smile of his.

"I don't want to kill the mood," you mumbled as you cut into your fresh plate of pancakes. "But last night when heeseung came home, he reeked of weed" you bit your bottom lip nervously as you awaited his reaction.

He just chuckled in response. "Honey, he's been like that for years. Don't worry about it." He dismissed.

"Has he been coming home past midnight for years too?" You hadn't noticed this behavior until last night. Usually, you were in bed by ten, but since you stayed up late waiting for your husband to come home, you were up late enough to encounter this apparent habit of heeseungs.

He dropped his fork and grabbed your hand. "Yes, ever since the divorce," he sighed. "He's just been very troubled. I've tried to talk to him about it, but he shuts me out all the time."

You wonder how bad the divorce must’ve been for heeseung to act this way. Your husband always said it was the past and that he didn’t want to talk about it, and you respected those boundaries, but you were still curious.

"Maybe I should talk to him," you suggested. After all, maybe it was the lack of a mother in his life that made him act this way. Maybe you could be there for him in a way his father couldn't.

He let go of your hand and clenched his jaw. "I told you I've already tried."

"But maybe I could try a different approach" you were adamant about the idea cause if heeseung was struggling. Naturally, you wanted to help him.

"Fine," he threw up his hands. "You'll just be wasting your time" your brows creased in confusion at his response. He had never acted this way before when you and him talked about heeseung's behavior, but before you thought too deeply about it, you assumed he was just tired and let the conversation go for now.

He abruptly stood up from the table and went to the bedroom, leaving you alone with three plates of unfinished food.

Heeseung had just come downstairs, and he looked like he was going out. Judging by the clothes he had on, he glanced at you, and you tried to hide your hurt expression by giving him a weak smile.

He eyed the table noticing there was a plate in front of his chair where he usually sat, and it was untouched.

He checked the time, and he supposed he could spare a minute or two. He rejoined you at the table, devouring your pancakes like it was his last meal on earth.

You smiled slightly as you watched him eat in silence. "Aren't you going to eat?" He mumbles after taking a sip of water.

You nearly jumped in surprise when he spoke to you, but you quickly composed yourself. "Yes," you whispered and resumed eating your pancakes, and even though they were cold, you ate every last bite with a smile, cherishing this rare moment with him.

Once he finished, he took his dishes to the sink and washed them along with the bowl he had left from earlier.

“Bye, heeseung” you gave him a tiny wave from the kitchen that he didn’t bother to return.

He put his shoes on at the door, and without another word, he was gone.

But at least there was progress, or so you thought.

You're sure that someone would have probably thought you were crazy with just how many decorations you had bought for your son's birthday, but hey, it was your first time celebrating the special day with him, and well, you wanted it to be special.

Unfortunately, earlier in the morning, when you were getting ready to go shopping, your husband informed you he wouldn't be home which totally ruined your whole entire mood. It seemed like everything went against you when it came to getting together as an actual family. If heeseung wasn't abruptly walking out of the room every time his dad entered, then his dad would be leaving for work nothing seemed to be working out for you.

"Can't you just call in? just this one time?" You all but begged him to stay home for Heeseung's birthday.

"No, I can't," he said flatly as he put on his dress coat. "He'll be fine. I always miss his birthday, whether it’s a business trip or for work, and besides, he's got you now" he turned around and flashed you a quick smile.

"Yeah," you mutter sadly while he kisses your cheek and waves goodbye to you.

You sighed at the earlier memory, but you weren't going to let it get your spirits down, especially when heeseung’s room was now decorated from head to toe. You smiled to yourself at the finished product taking a picture and sending it to your husband since he couldn't be there.

Now all that was left to do was wait for the birthday boy.

Heeseung trudged up the stone path to his house, sighing loudly when he saw the empty parking lot, which was a sign that his dad wasn't home.

"Seven years in a row," he mumbled sadly as tears welled in his eyes. He's not sure why he even still cared if his dad celebrated his birthday with him or not.

You'd think after seven years of hating his dad, he'd be over it by now, but he wasn't.

He remembers all those years ago when his mother did her best to make him feel loved going as far as inviting all his friends over to celebrate his birthday, but no matter how many people showed up, nothing could replace the absence of his father, not even the outrageous amount of gifts he received could replace that relationship he so desperately wanted with his dad.

Heeseung doesn't even know when it all started. All he knew was one day, he was a small child enjoying picnics at the park every Sunday after church, and the next moment he was a young teen, and his mom had turned into an alcoholic once she found out her husband was cheating on her, and just like that, everything fell to pieces and the perfect family was ruined all because of his piece of shit father.

Unfortunately, since heeseung was so young back then, he didn't have a choice in who he wanted to take custody of him after the divorce, and sadly there was no chance of him living with his mom. She didn't have enough money and a stable home for him to even stay in, so naturally, he was stuck with his father for the time being.

But now that he's a full-grown adult, he could make his own decisions about where he wanted to live, but stupidly enough, he was waiting and hoping that his father would change and that he would somehow care about him the way he used to but after two years of hoping heeseung had given up and decided to take his life into his own hands.

Which was probably not the best choice, but he needed money to move sooner than later, and a nine-to-five just wasn't going to cut it, especially cause he was secretly helping his mom get by cause, of course, his mother’s well being was no concern of his fathers, So naturally heeseung had resorted to the quickest way to make loads of money by selling drugs, betting, and racing illegally. It wasn't safe, but it was a safe bet to get him where he needed to be, and that was out from under the roof of his heartless father.

Especially right now, he's never wanted to leave so bad the fact that his dad had the fucking audacity to remarry was baffling to heeseung. He had the perfect wife, and he fucked it up for some random woman that he'd never see again, and that angered heeseung to the point that he couldn't even fathom he couldn't believe that his precious mother was brought down and reduced to absolutely nothing at the hands of his own father the thought made him feel sick.

And now that his father was doing the same thing with you made him feel even more sick. He never saw you as his mother. That’s for sure no one could ever replace her, not in a million years, but he could tell you were a good girl, and you were trying, which he appreciated. Even though he didn't show it, and even so, you still did your best and put up with his attitude to bring the family together, and you just had this glow that could change the whole atmosphere from dull and uninteresting to happy and cheerful, something his father didn't deserve he doesn't deserve your kindness because even after he fucked up with his first wife he didn't learn from his mistakes cause he was still going out behind your back every single night.

Heeseung wanted to tell you so badly about his dad’s unholy doings, but he didn't know if that was his secret to tell, so he stayed quiet. But right now, he didn't really care about respecting his father's privacy anymore cause not only was he cheating on his own son's birthday, but he was also out cheating behind your back, just like the old days.

You didn't deserve such treatment in heeseung's eyes. You deserved a real man, someone who could appreciate you for all your efforts and hard work, someone who could be there for you instead of leaving you home alone for ten hours a day, someone who could love you the right way.

God.

Heeseung feels so terrible for even thinking about you like that, but fuck, it was impossible for him not to. You were the perfect wife. Quite literally, everything about you was ideal for him.

He could see himself in his father's position so easily coming home from work to be greeted by you with warm hugs and kisses and a hot meal waiting for him on the table.

Except with him, it would be so different. He would answer all your calls, he would never come home late without telling you first, he'd give you massages when you were tired, and he would appreciate you for every little thing that you do.

Cause that's what you deserved, not a pathetic excuse for a man like his father.

As he got closer and closer to the door typing in the security code, he hadn't realized it yet, but his tears had subsided, and maybe that's all it took was for his dad to miss his birthday one last time cause as he took his shoes off at the front door he didn't have that heavy feeling in his gut anymore if anything it felt like a weight had been lifted and he could finally let go.

This felt like the last time his dad had to prove himself, and when heeseung came home to an empty parking lot, he accepted the fact that his father would never care about him the same way again, and as much as that hurt him in the beginning, it also felt like a relief cause now he didn't have to hang onto any false hope how could he when his own father gave him absolutely nothing to hang onto.

He was finally free, and he accepted his fucked up reality for what it was, something he wished he would have done years ago.

But, at least he can say he tried cause he really fucking did, no matter how painful it had been.

The house was oddly quiet normally. You would have been running down the stairs to greet him, but you were nowhere in sight, which made him frown.

He'd never ever ever ever admit to you that he liked it when you greeted him, that he liked it when you cooked his favorite dishes and liked how you worried about him and his safety when he was out late.

Cause god knows he loves all those things about you. Sometimes he'd leave the house just to hear you say bye, and he knows that sounds pathetic, but it's true.

He hated that he couldn't reciprocate your cheerful attitude. He wanted to so bad, and he almost slipped up so many times, but he was afraid that once that happened, there would be no going back. He was already basically in love with you at this point, and if he had to engage with you every day in a friendly manner, he'd be a goner, so instead, he gave you the cold shoulder and acted harshly towards you and it hurt him to know that he was hurting you, but if he ever acted on his desires for you he knows he'd ruin the family just like his father did, and he never wanted to be like his father ever.

He quietly made his way to the kitchen keeping his noise to a minimum, assuming you must have been tired and had gone to sleep early.

He decided to eat one of the apples you had bought from the market the other day. You had been talking about how good they were, and he remembered the sad look on your face when his stupid ugly, nasty father rejected them, saying. "I OnLy eaT oRgaNic fRuiT."

Oh, how heeseung wished he could have stuffed all those apples down his dad's throat at that very moment.

As heeseung bit into the apple, a smile unknowingly spread across his face. You were right. They were delicious, or maybe it was just cause you bought them, who really knows, but he enjoyed every last bite of it before throwing the core into the trash barrel and jogging upstairs to wash up for bed, not knowing that he was about to nearly have a heart attack after he opened his door.

"Surprise!" You popped out from hiding behind his door and held a cake with two big candles reading twenty-one on it. "Happy birthday, heeseung!" You smiled brightly.

His eyes went as wide as saucers as they scanned all the decorations. There were white, green, and purple balloons decorating his ceiling, and on the cake was his favorite cartoon character, buzz light year.

He couldn't do it.

He couldn't treat you harshly anymore, not after something like this. How could he?

This was far more than anything he could ever ask for, and he couldn't help but tear up. How did you know he loved Toy Story? His dad didn't even know that, not that that's saying much, but still, he couldn't believe that someone actually paid enough attention to him to even notice.

His silence was making you nervous, but before you could start overthinking, he quickly blew out the candles and set the cake on his nightstand, pulling you into one of the tightest hugs you've ever felt.

"Thank you, y/n, thank you so much," he cried on your shoulder, and you were shocked. You were not expecting this type of reaction from him, but you thoroughly enjoyed it and quickly hugged him back.

"You're welcome, birthday boy" you ruffled his hair, and it was difficult for you not to cry as well. Your son was finally hugging you for the first time since you met.

You rubbed his back gently as his cries started to die down a bit, and he pulled away from the hug, looking at you with teary eyes. It took everything in him not to kiss you right now, and he's thankful that you broke eye contact with him first. Otherwise, he probably would have done something really stupid. "Come on, let's open your presents" you wiped the tears off his cheeks, and he smiled before closing his door and joining you on his bed. "Okay, first one," you handed him the box excitedly. It was a Ferrari Lego set wrapped in Toy Story themed paper.

He didn't want to ruin your beautiful wrapping, but he couldn't contain his excitement as he ripped the paper off, gasping when he saw what was in his hands. "You didn't have to. How did you know?" You giggled at his reaction and nudged his shoulder playfully.

"Mothers know these kinds of things" he froze when you said that, being reminded of what this actually was a mother and son celebrating a birthday. He realized he was painting a different picture of what was actually happening inside his head, a more romantic one, so he calmed down his excitement while silently reminding himself that you only thought of him as your stepson, nothing more, nothing less. "Besides, your whole room is full of legos" you pointed to his shelf with all his little figurines, and he smiled at that, happy that at least someone paid attention to him.

"Thank you!" you felt saddened that he still hadn't called you mom yet, but your husband was right. It's the small wins that count. Heeseung would come around soon enough, you thought, especially after tonight.

"Okay, next!" You handed him another big box, and you couldn't wait for his reaction to this one.

"What did you get me?" He asked with a teasing smile. Honestly, being like this in front of you was easy for him. He felt light whenever you were around. Everything was just so carefree and comfortable. That's one of the many things he loved about you. Even if you two never spoke properly before, this felt natural, and he knew it did for you, too. He knows all the effort you put in to get closer to him, so he knew this meant a lot to you too, and he was grateful cause that let him know you cared and you didn't just give up on him like his parents did no matter how many times he treated you rough you were always patient with him which made him wonder how his worthless dad was lucky enough to get a girl as perfect as you.

"Open it and see" your cheeks hurt from smiling so much, but you were just so happy that he was finally opening up to you and letting you in. It made you feel so much joy that he trusted you to show you his real emotions. This moment meant the world to you, and you'd definitely never forget it.

"No way!" He stared at you in shock. "You're freaking crazy," he said, getting choked up as he examined the headphones.

You're not sure if he was crying cause of the present or the fact that he was finally celebrating this day with someone after so long, but it didn't matter to you as long as he was happy. "Do you like it?" You side-hug him and lean on his shoulder.

"Of course, y/n," he sniffles. "I love it" you leaned up, watching the smile that never left his face until he turned to look you dead in the eyes. "I love you" he used the opportunity to slip those words in just to let you know he knew you'd think of it in a mother-son way, but he didn't care as long as he got to tell you before he left.

Those words nearly brought tears to your eyes. That was even better than him calling you mom. You smiled brightly. You were so happy, and you couldn’t wait to tell your husband the news.

"I love you too" you quickly pecked his cheek as you stood up from his bed to grab the cake. "How about some cake?" He looked at you and nodded. "Come on," you said in a whisper and gestured downstairs.

"Can we eat it here?" He asks sheepishly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd think he was turning five and not twenty-one from his childish request, but who were you to say no to eating cake in bed?

He sat back on his bed and tucked his feet under him while the bed dipped down next to him from your weight. He swiped his finger along the cake, gathering some frosting and licking it off his finger. "Good?" You ask, laughing at the way he decided to eat it without a fork.

"Yeah," he mutters shyly as you do the same, tasting the sweet frosting and humming at its delicious taste nodding in agreement with him.

You both ate the chocolate cake until there was barely anything left, and he sat it back down on his nightstand before he joined you on the bed again.

"You don't know how much this means to me," he whispered and trailed off while playing with his fingers nervously.

He looked like he wanted to say more, so you waited patiently for him to continue like you always had.

"This was the best birthday ever," he breathed out and looked at you with an unreadable expression.

"I'm so happy to hear that" you smiled genuinely at him and gently patted his shoulder.

Before you could even register what was happening, he was leaning in and kissing you.

It was if time had stopped.

You were paralyzed when you felt his lips on yours. You couldn't react from your state of shock as your eyes widened. He continued kissing you, tilting his head slightly and brushing his lips over yours.

When he placed his hand on your knee, you finally were able to react to the situation, and you pushed him back roughly by his shoulders. "What the hell are you doing?" You wiped his saliva off your mouth and stood up, distancing yourself away from him as you caught your breath.

He immediately hung his head low, knowing that he had messed up big time. You could hear him sniffling lightly. "I'm sorry," he whispered as his voice cracked. "Y/n, I didn't mean to." He looked at you with tears now trickling down his face. "I-I don't know what came over me, I'm sorry" he got off his bed and reached for you, but you backed away from him further, and his heart ached when he saw the pure look of utter disgust on your face.

Your heart felt like it was about to leap out of your chest from how fast it was beating. You had no idea what to even think. Your mind was blank as you rushed out of his bedroom and into yours, locking the door behind you just in case he tried to follow you.

You curled up in bed and let the silence take over, trying to make sense of what the hell just happened.

As you were lost in thought, you heard a few soft knocks on the door, and you jumped slightly. "Y/n, please don't be mad at me," he pleaded softly, and you could hear the hurt in his tone. "Please…” he whispered shakily, and you heard a soft thud on the door when he rested his forehead against it.

For the next three minutes or so, you could hear him quietly sobbing outside your door, and you were torn on what to do. Your stepson had just kissed you out of the clear blue.

You didn't know if you should talk to him about it or not. Maybe he had been smoking and just made a mistake, but you can’t remember smelling any smoke.

You ruffled your hair in frustration and did the first thing that came to your mind.

You tried phoning your husband. Maybe he could give you some answers.

You just sighed when you heard the dial tone.

Of course, he didn't answer like usual it annoyed you that he could never answer his phone because of work. You knew he was more than likely in a meeting, and he couldn't be disturbed, but every time you needed him, he was never there. You knew that’s what you were getting into when you married such a busy man, but that didn’t make it any less upsetting.

You tossed your phone to the side and sighed loudly. You could still hear heeseung’s faint sniffles from behind the door.

"I know there’s no excuse for what I did, but for what it's worth, you made this birthday the best one yet" he dragged his index finger down the length of the door. "G-goodnight, y/n" he walked back to his room and lied on his bed, feeling absolutely terrible about himself. Not only did he kiss you without permission, but he also kissed a married woman. "What was I thinking?" He mumbled quietly into his pillow.

He knew exactly what he was thinking, and he let his emotions get the best of him, but it was so hard to control it when you looked at him so fondly. How could he not get emotional when you had set up all those things just for his birthday? How could he not get emotional when you remembered the things that he liked?

It's been almost a decade since he felt those types of emotions, and he wasn't ready to feel those things again, especially not with you, especially when he couldn't control his feelings for you.

All those thoughts, feelings, and emotions came over him so fast that he didn’t have time to second guess his actions, but as soon as his lips were no longer on yours, he realized that he had made an irreversible mistake.

The last thing he saw before he cried himself to sleep was his leftover cake on the nightstand.

You woke up in the morning, and unfortunately, the first thought that came to mind was last night. You frustratedly massage at your temples, trying to rub out the headache while looking at the alarm clock that read 8:27am.

You turned to your husband and wrapped your arms around him, hoping to seek some comfort from him after what happened last night, but he rolled on his side after mumbling something about it being too hot as he scooted away from you.

That was another thing that has been troubling you lately. Maybe you were blowing things out of proportion from all the stress you had been carrying with you recently, but he seemed so standoffish lately he'd barely kiss you unless it was before he left to work, and god forbid you mentioned your worries about heeseung to him, he'd just blow you off, and tell you that heeseung was an adult that could do what he wanted.

But the worse part was you couldn't remember the last time he took you on a date or the last time he made love to you, and getting married only seemed to create distance between you both, and you hated it. You felt so alone being cooped up in the house all day. Sure, you'd go shopping sometimes, but that only took your mind off of things for a little while.

And heeseung never talked to you, so that made you feel even more alone, and after last night everything kind of just hit you like a ton of bricks. You felt more isolated than you ever have, and you had no one to talk to. You moved far from your parents, and the time zones were completely different. You hadn't contacted your friends in years, and now it was just you all alone by yourself to figure out what you should do after your stepson thought it would be okay to kiss you, and your husband was practically ignoring your needs as his wife.

This whole time you've been so worried about getting the mother approval stamp from heeseung that you barely even had time to focus on your life with your husband, and now that you realized that, it felt awful.

"What do I do?" You whisper as tears well in your eyes, sobbing quietly so you wouldn’t wake your sleeping husband.

For the whole day, heeseung didn't even think about leaving his room. He just couldn't face you after what he did last night.

Remembering the look on your face was enough to have him curled up in bed until midnight.

Once he saw all the lights were shut off, that's when he decided to leave. He made his way to the door, and he almost shirked when he saw you lying on the sofa all by yourself.

He tiptoed to the door, praying you wouldn't wake up, and to his luck, you didn't. He hastily put his shoes on and haphazardly wore his jacket and went to his secret racing spot.

You stirred in your sleep. Once you heard the door shut, you must have passed out while watching tv again. "Babe?" You called out, but you got no answer. You turned the tv off and went to your bedroom to see your husband fast asleep. "He didn't wake me up?" You mumbled you were once again waiting for him to come home from work, but you fell asleep, and he didn't even think to wake you up before going to bed.

Which reminds you, if he wasn't the one leaving, then that must have meant it was heeseung, and it was past midnight since your talk with him over breakfast. He seemed to understand your concern for him being out so late and made it a point to come home no later than ten.

So why was he leaving past midnight again?

You wanted to call him and tell him to bring his butt home, but after last night you're not sure where he stood with you or where you stood with him, to be honest.

Heeseung didn't want to leave past midnight and make you worry, but after what happened the night of his birthday, he figured you didn't care about him coming or going cause he made you mad, and he hated knowing that he ruined the little relationship you had both formed just as quickly as it happened.

But if he looked on the bright side, at least now, you probably hated him and wouldn't try to get close to him anymore, so that was a good thing. Maybe that would help him suppress his feelings for you, and besides, he'd be leaving soon anyway, so how you felt about him didn't really matter.

He was going to use the money he made from his nightly races and drug deals to move out. He now had more than enough to afford his own place and live alone comfortably.

Of course, his dad wanted him out a lot sooner and would be more than happy to buy heeseung his own house to get him out of his hair, but heeseung didn't want anything to do with his father once he was gone.

Everything that happened in this house he wanted to be a thing of the past, even if that included you.

Sure, it was a cop-out move to just avoid what happened that night, but in his mind, there wasn't a need to address that situation again. He fucked up, and that was the end of it.

That wasn't the only reason he wanted to move though his dad played the bigger role in that, and now after that incident with you, it was fuel for him to leave even sooner than he had originally planned.

He closed his eyes as a few tears rolled down his cheek, and the crowd roared his name as he revved his engine.

And as soon as the two black and white checkered flags were raised, he pressed his foot on the gas, going full speed ahead, pushing all his worries down just like his gas peddle, even though he knew they would all surface again and haunt him once he reached the finish line.

Of course, you couldn't get any sleep cause heeseung was still out, and it was now three in the morning, not to say you would have been able to get any sleep with your husband snoring loudly next to you anyways.

You quietly got out of bed and put your robe on. You walked downstairs and poured yourself a glass of wine, sitting on the sofa, waiting for heeseung to come home.

It wasn't long before the door was creaking open, and you heard the familiar jingle of heeseung’s keys.

He turned around and twisted the knob so he could shut the door silently.

You cleared your throat, and he nearly jumped out of his shoes as he slowly turned around with a grimace on his face. "Mind telling me what you've been up to?" You traced the rim of your now empty glass as you crossed your leg over the other.

"S-s-sorry, I won't do it a-again," he mumbled as he hung his head low and kicked his shoes off at the door.

"What exactly is it that you won’t be doing again?" You asked and slowly held the cup to your lips, taking a small sip of the alcoholic drink.

He gulped nervously from your stern tone. "Just hanging out late with some friends," he lied. He didn't have any friends, not since his parents divorced.

You hum and nod your head. "Do these friends happen to smoke?" You questioned.

How the hell did you know that? "Yes," there was no point in lying. He wouldn't want to make you more upset.

You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. "What did I tell you about being out past midnight?"

"I know, and I'm sorry," he mumbles. "I didn't think you'd care" he bit his lip nervously.

"Why wouldn't I care? You're my son," his expression hardened at your words.

"Please stop saying that," he whispered shakily.

"What's wrong? I know I'm not your biological mother, but I'm trying here" you pushed down the lump in your throat and ignored the ache in your heart as he said those words to you.

"You just don't get it, do you? That's just the thing, you're not my mom, and I'll never see you as my mom" he clenched his jaw in annoyance.

Now you couldn't even pretend that didn't hurt like hell that's all you ever wanted was for him to call you mom but the way those words fell from his mouth so carelessly broke your heart. "W-what did you say?" Your voice now matched him with a shakiness that made him instantly regret what he said.

He came closer to you, wrapping your frail body in his arms. The smell of smoke invaded your senses as you inhaled sharply. "No, no, no, that's not what I meant," he whispered as your shoulders shook in his hold. "You know what, screw it" he pulled back and stared into your eyes intensely. "I'll never see you as my mom because," he took a deep breath before continuing. "Because I like you" his bottom lip quivered, and you could feel his body shaking slightly. "I know it's wrong, and I swear I tried not to, b-but I just couldn't help it, and on my birthday, I just couldn't control how I felt. It's the first time someone has shown me any type of affection in years, and I-"

You cut him off. This was nonsense. He was speaking. There's no way that's how he truly felt. "You never even talked to me before then" you pulled away from the hug and waited for him to explain.

"I know," he whined out. "But that's why I didn't want to get close to you 'cause this whole time I've had…" he trailed off, but you got the point. "And on my birthday, you just" he looked down at his feet, embarrassed and ashamed to even be telling you this. "You made me feel special, and I haven't felt that in a long time." He whispered.

You looked at him with a million questions swirling around in your mind, but you asked the burning one. "What about your father? He's great to you. Surely he makes you feel special" you tried to make sense of what heeseung was saying, but you couldn't wrap your head around it, and getting angry wouldn’t help, so you spoke calmly while hoping to get some answers.

He just scoffed at your words and shoved his hands into his pockets. "He didn't even wish me a happy birthday." He poked his inner cheek with his tongue.

A look of shock overtook your features. Of course, you knew your husband wasn't going to be there on his son's special day, but not buying him a gift and not sending him a text was outrageous. "Maybe he was just too busy," you reasoned. There's no way he would not have sent his own son a happy birthday text unless he was busy.

"For the last seven years? I don't think anyone is that busy" he rolled his eyes. "It's obvious what's important to him, and I'm not."

"Don't talk about your father that way. He's a great man and a great husband, and you're just being ungrateful right now. He's working himself to death to take care of us both," heeseung just gave you a sad smile.

If you had any idea.

"If you say so," he wasn't going to argue with you about this. He was afraid he would slip up and spill his dad's secrets, and that would make everything so much worse than it already was.

"Just go to your room, and you're not going out tomorrow." You concluded that was all that needed to be discussed right now.

Without another word, he quietly went to his room and left you stressed out on the couch with so many unanswered questions.

"Honey will you call that deadbeat son of ours from his room," your husband joked as he sat at the table.

You just chuckled at his statement, knowing he meant no harm, and went to get heeseung from his room.

You knocked a few times and waited for him to answer. He cracked the door open just a sliver, and you saw his eyes widen slightly. "Yes?" He whispered.

You hated how he almost seemed scared of you after everything, but right now, there was nothing that you could think of to fix this situation between you and him, so you’d just have to be awkward around each other for the time being.

"Dinners ready, and your father wants you to sit with us," you informed him in a soft tone hoping that would help unnerve him, but it didn't seem to work.

"Ok," he said quietly and opened the door, fully exiting his room and coming downstairs with you.

"There he is! Finally decided to crawl out of that den of yours," heeseung sighed while sitting at the table. He knew this was going to be absolute torture. He was only doing it cause he knew you wanted to. "So your mother told me you've been smoking, is that true?"

You gasped in shock. This was not how you wanted him to bring this up. Tonight was just supposed to be a simple, peaceful dinner, nothing more, nothing less.

You shook your head and signaled for your husband to stop, and heeseung looked at you with a tinge of hurt on his face. Not believing the fact that you had told his secret.

Apparently, your husband didn't get the memo. "So are you going to answer, or do I have to beat it out of ya" his father joked, but neither you nor heeseung was laughing.

You smiled awkwardly and took a sip of your lemonade, staying quiet.

"What does it matter?" Heeseung responded harshly.

"To be honest, I don't care what you do, but your mother here is worried about you," he said while cutting into his steak.

"Babe," you scolded him for his choice of words. You knew he was just frustrated and didn't mean them, but you still acknowledged how inappropriate that was to say. "Sorry he's been drinking," you murmured to heeseung, but he knew even if his dad wasn't drinking, he would still say those hurtful words to him without thinking twice about it.

"There's nothing to worry about" heeseung dismissed the topic from going any further.

"See honey? I told you it's fine" you just sat there uncomfortably for the rest of the dinner. Maybe it was just you, but he didn't seem to care about his own son's reckless behavior, and it left an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. "What I am worried about, though, is when you're going to get a girlfriend. I mean, you're a grown man, and you haven't dated anyone." He chuckled.

Heeseung glanced at you feeling embarrassment course throughout his veins.

You were surprised to hear that. Heeseung was a good guy. From what you know, he was intelligent and interested In making music, plus he had handsome features, so you were bewildered at the new information.

"Isn't that something, dear? He's twenty-one and doesn't have a girlfriend."

"Well, that's his choice, babe. Maybe he just hasn't found the right one," you try to ease the tension of the conversation, hoping heeseung would loosen up a bit, but he didn't.

The conversation started out in the wrong direction, to begin with, but now it was completely lost.

"I suppose, but he hasn't even had sex yet" this was the first time you had ever heard your husband talk in such a manner, and it was revolting, to say the least, especially at the dinner table.

Has he always been like this? You wondered.

"Dad, we can have this conversation another time," heeseung gritted through his teeth. He knew his dad was trying to get under his skin, not to say he cared, but heeseung just didn't want you thinking differently of him for being a virgin. He didn't want to think he was any less of a man.

Of course, his dad wasn't going to listen to that, not when there was a perfectly good opportunity to humiliate his son. "Hell, he hasn't even had his first kiss yet," he chuckled, and heeseung's mouth parted as he stared at his dad in shock, unable to comprehend why he'd want to put him to shame like that in front of you.

Heeseung looked at you scanning your face for your reaction, and you could have sworn you saw tears in his eyes before he got up from the table and ran off to his room.

"Why would you say that?" You asked, knowing that you weren't the only one that could obviously see that heeseung was upset when he left.

"Say what? It's harmless fun. He'll get over it" he took a drink of his beer before shrugging his shoulders.

"That didn't look harmless to me, and it wasn't funny," you said sternly while throwing your napkin on the table.

You may not have been on good terms with heeseung, but he didn't deserve to have his love life aired out for your husband's drunken amusement.

You could only imagine how embarrassed heeseung felt.

You stood up from the table and headed to your room as well. You couldn’t believe he had to ruin the evening. "Honey, wait, I'm sorry," you heard him drunkenly apologizing, but you continued on to your room, too stressed and tired to put up with him or anything else right now.

After you finished washing up, you went to check on heeseung. As hard as it was going to be to speak to him, you just wanted to make sure he was okay after what happened.

You knocked on his door, hoping he hadn't already gone to sleep. You waited a few seconds after knocking, and you didn't get an answer.

Maybe he was listening to music, you thought and cracked the door slightly. He was lying in his bed listening to music, just like you had originally thought, and he was wearing the headphones you bought him for his birthday. You smiled at the heartwarming sight before opening the door further and revealing yourself.

His head shot up to the door when he noticed the light from the hallway shining into his dimly lit room. When he saw it was you, he quickly took off his headphones and straightened out his blankets, running his fingers through his hair, trying to tidy up a bit.

"Can I come in?" He just looked at you and nodded his head. You shut the door behind you and sat on his bed, pushing away the thoughts of the last time you were in his room on his bed. "Sorry about him," you apologized on your husband's behalf.

"It's not your fault" he scooted away from you and hugged his knees to his chest. "It wouldn't be the first time he's done that" the words accidentally slipped from his mouth, and he panicked.

"What do you mean?" You ask him, puzzled.

Heeseung was quick to come up with an excuse. You didn't know much about his relationship with his father. From the outside looking in, they seemed like they got along pretty well, and heeseung knew what he said just now would make you ask questions, and those questions he didn't want to answer cause ultimately they would reveal what his dad was doing to you this whole entire time.

"Uhh, you know, just the teasing and all" he smiled uncomfortably and hoped you'd buy that lame excuse, and it seemed like you did when you nodded your head in understanding.

"Just so you know, it's nothing to be ashamed of" you were going to reach your hand out and comfort him, but you decided it'd be best if you didn't.

"I don't want to talk about it," he said lowly, and you sighed in defeat as you sat up and walked out of his room. If he didn't want to talk about it, you weren't going to force him to. You assumed he needed space, and you were more than willing to give it to him.

You went back to your shared bedroom to find your husband already lying in bed waiting for you. "Honey, I'm sorry," he apologized again while you got into bed next to him. "I'll talk to him tomorrow. He's probably upset with me," he mumbled in the crook of your neck as he wrapped his arms around you.

You cuddle up closer to him, and he presses soft kisses all over your neck, tickling you. "Babe!" You shouted when he started tickling your sides playfully.

"What?" He answers back as if he's unaware of what he was doing to you.

You giggled and squirmed, trying to get out of his hold.

"I gotcha now," he teased and continued tickling you while laughing at the noises you were making.

Heeseung could hear you both talking and laughing. He hated how his room was right next to your guy’s, and he could hear literally everything.

He turned up his music to full blast, drowning out everything. The last thing he wanted was to hear you being intimate with his father.

His father didn't deserve to see your body, heeseung thought. You should have been in his bed making love to him. He was confident his father couldn't please you the way he could. Hell, it wouldn't even be a comparison.

If heeseung had a chance with you, he'd give you anything you wanted. He'd take his precious time with your delicate body, trace his fingers over every dip and curve of your beautiful figure whisper praises in your ear about how good you make him feel. He'd stare directly into your eyes and tell you how much he loves you and how precious you are to him as he slowly strokes inside you while you moan his name and clasp your hands tighter with his.

You should be in his room right now with him.

Little did heeseung know you were unfortunately not getting intimate with his father cause after the little tickling session, he passed out from all the alcohol he drank earlier in the evening, leaving you to fall asleep unsatisfied for the countless night in a row.

A few weeks had passed now, and things were starting to get better with your husband. He was taking you out more and spending more time with you, which was great, and it kept your mind clear.

Unfortunately, things were the same with heeseung, and even still, you had no clue what to do. You wanted to tell your husband, but you had no idea what kind of mess that would have caused, so you ignored it entirely, and heeseung went back to his old ways of giving you the cold shoulder, which you were happy about cause that made you feel better about not addressing the situation somehow you twisted it that if he wasn't talking to you you weren't going to talk to him and you convinced yourself this was his fault for shutting you out.

Besides, he hasn't made a move on you since, so there wasn't anything to talk about, right?

Right.

Finally, you got your much-needed break from everything that has happened this past month, and you couldn't have asked for anything better than to be where you are right now, hugged up to your husband on the couch, watching movies as he stroked your hair.

Your guy’s movie marathon was interrupted by heeseung making a surprise visit to the living room. He scoffed and made his way to the couch, handing his father his key to the house before retreating back to his room.

You eyed the little transaction, and you furrowed your brows, looking at the house key that sat on the entertainment stand in the living room.

"Babe, what was that about?" You wondered why heeseung was giving up his house key.

"Oh, he didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" You say, growing more confused by the second.

"He's moving out next week," he told you as if it was just something as small as a story from one of his co-workers or something.

You sat up abruptly. "What?! No, he didn't tell me" you knew things weren’t going great with you and heeseung right now, but you didn't expect him to keep something this important from you. "Why didn't you tell me?" Now that was the strange part he didn't know about yours and heeseung's falling out, so why would he assume heeseung would tell you when he didn't even speak to you?

"Cause it's not a big deal" he shrugged and tried to hug you, but you backed away.

"It is a big deal. You know how hard I've been trying to get close to him, and you didn't even think to tell me he would be moving?" You raised your voice slightly.

"What does it matter?"

You couldn't sit still any longer. You got up from the sofa and went to heeseung's room. Maybe he could give you a better explanation than the bullshit your husband just gave you. "Why didn't you tell me you’re leaving?" Your tone was still harsh, but it wasn't aimed toward heeseung.

"Didn't think you'd care" he disregarded the way you just stormed into his room without knocking.

"Why would you think that?" Your expression softened, as well as your tone.

"We haven't talked in weeks, so what's the point? For all practical purposes, I'm not even here," he angrily shoved his belongings into his suitcase.

You knew it was your fault why he felt like that, and it made you feel terrible. You could no longer deny the fact that your and Heeseung's relationship diminished because you were not handling what happened like an adult. "I'm sorry. It's all my fault."

Fuck fuck fuck.

He wanted to punch and kick himself for thinking you looked cute apologizing right now. That's not what this is about, heeseung focus. He took a deep breath and put on his hard exterior once again. "I forgive you," he said with no emotion at all.

He couldn’t understand why you’d take all the blame, though, cause he definitely had a part to play.

You watched him packing, and you still felt guilty for everything, even if he had forgiven you. "So that's just it then?" You asked sadly, you knew at this point having a mother-and-son relationship was out of the picture, but you’d still miss him when he was gone.

He sighed and zipped up his bag, opening a smaller one for his toiletries. "What do you want from me, hmm? I already told you this," he pointed back and forth between the two of you. "Is never going to happen. I can't give you what you want, and you can't give me what I want."

"Heeseung, I don't know what to say. I want to tell you I'm sorry, but I'm not. I'm a happily married woman, and you have to understand that," you tried to explain to him in a way he'd understand without hurting his feelings.

"Exactly, and I can accept that, so why can't you accept the fact that this picture-perfect family idea of yours is never going to work? I'm moving out, and now you can live the rest of your life happily with that-" he had to bite his tongue to stop himself from talking and saying something he shouldn't.

"Honey?" You heard your husband calling you from downstairs, and heeseung sighed. You wanted to finish listening to what he was saying, but you opted to leave his room and go to your husband.

"Fuck” heeseung said under his breath when you walked out.

He wanted to let you know what was happening, but he was scared. He didn't want to hurt your feelings, or worse, what if you didn't believe him?

He shook his head and finished packing. It wasn't his mess to sort out. He tried to convince himself.

Everyone glossed over what happened over the next week, and so did you heeseung was leaving today, and there wasn't anything you could do or say to stop him.

It was in the evening, and you were supposed to be going out to dinner with your husband, but he wasn't answering your calls. He said he'd be ready by six, yet it was eight, and he didn't even bother to call you to inform you what was taking him so long, and you started to get worried.

Tears unknowingly pricked your eyes and cascaded down your face. Everything had gotten to you, and you couldn't contain your emotions anymore and finally let out all your frustrations.

You sobbed into the palms of your hands while sitting at the kitchen table. Everything seemed to be going wrong the past month, and you had no idea how to fix it heeseung was basically done with you, and your husband didn't even seem to notice how stressed you were lately. You were hoping to talk to him over dinner, and now that fell through, so here you sat sobbing like an overgrown baby waiting for your beloved husband to come home.

To make matters even worse, when you looked up, you met eyes with heeseung, and he was just staring at you.

You must have missed him coming down the stairs while you were crying hysterically.

You quickly grabbed a napkin and dried your tears. Obviously, it was too late to hide them, but you still tried.

Heeseung dropped his moving boxes at the door and made his way over to the kitchen. He didn't hesitate for a moment to lean down and wrap his arms securely around your shaking shoulders. "Shhh, it’s okay" he kissed the crown of your head and rested his cheek there while fluttering his eyes shut.

You didn’t have it in you to tell him off for his overly affectionate gesture, so you let him comfort you instead.

You grabbed his hand and held it tightly. You didn't have to tell him why you were crying. He saw his mother in the same position you were in right now, all beautiful and dressed up, ready for the big date that never came.

"I'm going to tell you something that I know I shouldn't, but you deserve to know," he whispered and squeezed your shoulder reassuringly. "My father is cheating on you" heeseung's heart rate increased as he finally spilled his father's filthy secret to you.

"What?!" You pushed his arms off you, and he stumbled back slightly while you stood up from your seat. "Why would you say that? He would never" you defend your husband. Little did you know he would, and he was at this very moment.

Heeseung hung his head low. "That's the same thing I thought when my mother told me," his voice cracked. "I know it's hard to accept it. I've been there before, but it's true."

"No," You felt more fresh tears welling in your eyes. "Take that back right now. How could you ever speak about him that way" this was absolutely preposterous, you thought.

"Because it's true, I wanted to tell you for so long, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings, okay?" He stepped closer to you, and you let him engulf you in a hug, but you didn't hug him back.

"How do you know?" You asked, nibbling on your lip. You wanted to fight back, but something about the look on heeseung's face made you feel like he was telling you the truth, and it made you feel sick.

"Call him and ask him where he is," he responds quietly. You broke away from the hug.

"No, I get it now. You're just trying to break us up 'cause you can't stand the fact that I don't want to be with you" that had to be it cause the man you married would never cheat on you, and you knew he loved you, too much to do that to you.

"What?!" Heeseung said, shocked that you would not only accuse him of lying but the fact that you would think that lowly of him. "I would never lie to you, y/n that's not the type of guy I am, and what would I gain from lying to you? I know you'd take his word over mine any day, and besides, I'm leaving today, so even if I was trying to turn you against my father, that'd be pretty stupid given the fact that once I walk out of that door in the next fifteen minutes, you'll probably never see me again."

That was true, but maybe heeseung didn't want you for himself. Maybe he just wanted to ruin your life cause you didn't accept his advances.

He could see the apprehension on your face, and he took the opportunity to further prove his point. "He said he would be home today at six, right?" You just nodded your head. "And he also said he was going to go to work, right?" You nodded once more, feeling a heavy weight settle in your gut. "So if I call his work right now, he should be there, right?" You knew where this was going, and you didn’t like it one bit. You were going to leave and go to your bedroom, but he quickly grabbed your wrist and stopped you from moving.

He let go of you and pulled out his phone, and dialed his dad's work number, putting it on speaker as the phone rang three times before someone picked up. "Hi, could you give me Mr lee's extension? I'm his son, and he's not answering his phone right, and I'm worried" you listen, as whoever was taking the phone call informed heeseung that Mr lee had not been at work today and that he was always off on Sunday. "Oh, okay, thank you. Bye," you stared at heeseung with tears in your eyes.

But you were still in denial. "He's probably just off doing some work elsewhere," you smiled and convinced yourself.

Heeseung couldn't believe how much you were defending his father, but he understood he was the same way when he found out from his mother, but he was going to prove to you that it was true one way or the other. "Y/n, I need you to listen closely to me. I'm doing this for you, okay? I love you, and I don't ever want to see you hurt. I don't want to sit back and watch the next most important woman in my life get reduced to nothing at the hands of my father, not again" it was hard for him to contain his emotions. Talking about this topic was something he thought he had gotten over, but it felt like the wound had never healed, even though he thought it did years ago.

You stood in silence, wrapping your arms around yourself, preparing for what he was about to say. If you were being honest, you had your doubts about your husband a few times, like when he smelled like women's perfume, and he told you he worked around females, so that's why he smelled that way at the time that sounded true, so you went along with it the other time you saw a red stain on his shirt that looked a lot like lipstick, but you thought you were reaching and didn't bring it up to him but now as heeseung was giving you all this information you weren't so sure so instead of telling heeseung off for saying such foul things about his own father you stayed and listened cause deep down you were afraid you had been right all along.

"Remember all the times I always left the table when he came home? It's cause we don't get along. He made it seem that way, so you wouldn't think any less of him, but he knows deep down I hate his guts, and he hates mine. You remember all the times he came home from work late? He was out at the club. Remember all the times he didn't answer his phone or come till the next day? He was off with somebody else while you were waiting at home for him like a good wife" before you could shut him down, he pulled up a picture of your husbands' car in the parking lot of a club, and that's when it felt like your world had come crashing down you had a feeling but you being you just thought you were overthinking all the time, and you stupidly gave your husband the benefit of the doubt when evidently he didn't deserve it.

You were sad, hurt, and upset. "Why would you do that?" You said to heeseung while crying. He just looked at you, mirroring your hurt expression cause this was just as hard for him to relive all over again as it was for you finding out. "You're lying!" You screamed at the top of your lungs. "You're lying!" You pushed his him. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" you hit his chest, punctuating your hurtful words each time your hand came in contact with his body. Tears brimmed in his eyes as he let you weakly pound his chest. Eventually, he grabbed your wrist and stopped you pulling you into a hug instead. "You're lying," you choked out through sobs as you let him engulf you in a hug. This time, you hugged him back in your weak and vulnerable state.

You couldn't believe everything was a lie right from the beginning. You don't blame heeseung for not telling you sooner. You blame yourself for being so stupid and naive to believe such ridiculous lies. You hated yourself for having blind faith in your husband, and you hated your heart for loving him so foolishly that even when things seemed different, you just brushed it off.

Heeseung rubbed your back soothingly to comfort you. "Remember all the times I came down for dinner when he was gone? I did it so you wouldn't feel alone. Remember all those times I came back early? I did it so you wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. Remember all those times when I was here for you, and he wasn't?" You could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest while he poured his feelings out to you. "If I was in his place, I'd never come home late. If I was in his place, I'd never look at another girl, and if I was in his place, I'd treat you right" he held onto you tighter, giving his words more significance.

He leaned back to look you in the eyes, trailing his hands over your hip bones. "If I was in his place, I'd never make you cry" he scanned your face, and his heart broke for you. You looked lifeless and completely broken as he wiped away your stray tears. It was like he was looking in a mirror at his fourteen-year-old self when his mother told him the same news, except when he found out he had no one to confide in cause his mom practically abandoned him for alcohol and left him in the hands of his abusive father, but he wasn’t going to let you go through the same thing that he did he was going to be that person that was there for you when no one else was he was going to be that person his mother couldn't be for him.

Heeseung thought it was now or never and closed the gap between you two before he could think twice. Besides, no matter the outcome of his actions, he'd be gone tomorrow, but he was here today, he was in this moment, and he was going to make every second of it count.

You responded to the kiss, and in your weakened state, all you wanted was his comfort. It was something you needed more than anything in the world, especially right now.

It felt so right.

No matter how hard you tried to be his mother, you never quite made the cut, and deep down, you knew it was because you never really saw him as your son. You were just too wrapped up in trying to be the perfect wife for your husband that you lost sight of everything, and right now, after everything heeseung had told you, kissing him didn't feel wrong cause you didn't feel like you were kissing your stepson no, you felt like you were kissing a man that loved you and a man that actually cared for you and your well being.

He hummed into the kiss pulling you closer by your waist as he kissed you passionately, slowly, lovingly this was the first time you had ever felt this way from a kiss. You never felt the butterflies in your stomach that you were feeling right now when you kissed anyone else. With heeseung, you could actually feel the love he had for you.

He leaned back and fluttered his eyes open, slowly placing one last loving peck on your lips.

He's been waiting for the moment for far too long. It was definitely worth the wait. He'd live his hellish life all over again just for it to lead to this very moment with just you and him and no other distractions in between.

Your lips were just as soft as he imagined, your kiss was just as electrifying as he daydreamed, and your embrace was everything he ever prayed for. "Come with me," he says out of nowhere. "Get a divorce and leave him live with me. I promise I can take care of you, trust me" he rested his forehead against yours. Everything was happening so fast, and you could barely breathe, but one thing you knew for sure was right now, heeseung had told you the truth you had been searching for, and his embrace made you feel safe. He proved you could trust him, but you don't know if you were ready to move on so quickly you didn't want your emotions getting in the way of making such a big decision, and heeseung seemed to have read your mind.

"We can take this as slow as you want" he gripped your shoulders, leaning down a bit to hold eye contact with you. "Look at me, okay? All I'm asking is for you to come with me, if, a month down the road, you decide you don't want to try with me. I’ll completely understand, but right now, I just can't stand to see you hurt. I can't let that happen to someone I love not again," he meant every word wholeheartedly. He couldn't be there for his mother, but he could be there for you.

You nibbled on your lip in thought you had no money outside of your husband's income, and you couldn't afford to move right now. "Heeseung, I can't." You whisper.

"Why?" He breathed out and placed his hands on your cheeks. “Hmm?”

"I can't afford to move, and I can't go back to my parent's house," you told him your concerns for the first time in months. You felt comfortable speaking your mind out in the open.

"You know how I always go out at night?" You nodded your head as he stroked your cheek softly with his thumb. "I hate for you to find out like this, but I was doing illegal things to make money, and let's just say I could buy you a house twice this size. We could fly to your parent's house and be there in the morning. Whatever you want, I can give to you." He looked at you intensely to prove to you that he was dead serious.

You could feel a headache coming on. This was all too much for you to handle alone, but Heeseung wasn't going to let you handle this alone, not this time. "I couldn't ask that of you."

"I want to give you a life that you deserve, let me" the look in his eyes was indescribable, but if you had to put it in words, it was love mixed with hate, sadness mixed with anger, but behind everything, it was hopeful and sincere. "Let me be the man in your life that my father couldn't be" you didn't need to hear anything more you gave him a quick kiss sealing off his promise and wrapping your arms around him tightly.

"Thank you," you mumbled into the crook of his neck wetting his shirt with your warm tears, but he didn't mind one bit as he reciprocated the hug.

"Anything for you. I got you" he disconnected from the hug and smiled, wiping your tears. "Let's get you all packed, yeah?" He wasn't trying to pressure you, but the sooner you both could leave, the better.

"Wait" you put your hand on his chest, stopping him from going anywhere.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly and rubbed the back of your palm with his thumb.

"I'm scared," you muttered.

"It's okay. I’m here now, and I won’t ever let him hurt you again" he led you upstairs, and you grabbed only your necessities. You didn't want anything that reminded you of your soon to be ex-husband.

Heeseung gave you a reassuring smile to ease your worries as you dropped your bags off at the door.

You both sat in the living room, waiting for him to come home. "It's okay," heeseung whispered and grabbed your hand. "I'll be here every step of the way. You have nothing to worry about" he kissed your hand but quickly distanced himself from you when he heard the front door crack open.

"Hey, isn't this a surprise you guys are actually getting along for once," he said, and it was now clear as day how condescending his tone was, and it only occurred to you now that that's how he always talked to you when it came to you trying to get close with heeseung you can't believe you didn't notice it sooner.

You can't believe he didn't even mention the date you two were supposed to go on. Then again, if heeseung never showed you what your husband was up to, you probably would have summed it up to him just being tired from “work” like you always foolishly had.

"Can we talk?" You ignored his slight jab and walked over to the kitchen heeseung parted his mouth to say something, but you smiled at him, letting him know you were okay.

"Sure" he took off his shoes and followed you to the kitchen smirking at heeseung while doing so.

"Look, I don't want your explanation. All I want is a divorce" you slid the diamond band off your finger and set it on the counter.

"What?" Your ex-husband chuckled incredulously.

"I know exactly what you've been doing behind my back, and I don't want to be with a person like you. I can't live the rest of my life with a liar," your whole body shook with nerves and fear.

"What are you talking about? I haven't been doing anythi-"

"Don't! Just stop!" you yelled at him for the first time ever. "Save it for someone else" you tried to walk past him, but he grabbed you by your wrist heeseung was watching the whole time from the living room, and as soon as his father laid a finger on you, he was quick to stand up and make his way over to you.

"Don't you dare touch her again" you looked up and saw that heeseung had gotten in between you and was shielding you from his dad.

"Oh, so he speaks," his dad chuckled. "Stay out of this boy. It has nothing to do with you" he pointed his finger in heeseung's face.

"It has everything to do with me," heeseung gritted through his teeth. "You heard her what she said. Now leave her alone."

"Watch your tone with me, boy" he balled his fists and got ready to throw a punch at heeseung, and you screamed in fear, but luckily heeseung was quick enough to dodge out of the way.

"Stay back," heeseung said to you before turning back to his father. "Do not make me do this" he stood up to his father, looking down on him from the height difference heeseung had definitely outgrown his father. He was no longer the helpless teen boy that couldn’t defend himself all those years ago. He had grown into a man that was able to stand up for himself and protect the people he loves.

His father didn't listen, and this time, it was heeseung who was raising his fist and landing a powerful punch to his dad's jaw, knocking him straight to the ground.

Heeseung immediately jumped on top of him, pinning him to the ground while beating his face to a pulp with every punch. He could hear his mother's cries, and with every punch, he saw your sad face, and he went into a fit of complete rage, landing every blow, each hit more powerful, Than the last, as he screamed. "No more!" Over and over again. “I’m not letting you hurt me or the people I love anymore!”

You stood there in shock, whimpering with your hands covering your mouth as tears ran down your face. "Heeseung, that's enough" you went closer to him, and he pushed you back slightly and continued to punch his father's face in, pretty soon. It would be unrecognizable. "Heeseung, please stop" when he heard your broken voice, he immediately snapped out of it and turned around to see you crying. He quickly let go of his father's collar and stood up, wrapping you in his arms protectively.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. You could feel him shaking with pure rage, and it scared you, but you knew he'd never do anything to hurt you. "I'm sorry, love.” He spoke gently and stroked your head. “I just don't want him to hurt anyone anymore." He took a deep breath to calm himself.

"It's all okay now," you comforted him and rubbed his back gently.

He sighed and rested his chin on the crown of your head. "It's okay," he reiterated, swaying your body back and forth in his hold" "ready to go home?"

"But your hand" you held his bloody hands, examining the broken skin on his knuckles, and he winced slightly.

"I'm okay for now. Let's just get out of here" he kissed your forehead softly.

You looked at the floor where the man you once called your husband was laid out unconscious, and as you looked at his bloody tattered face, you felt no remorse, not after he tried to not only hurt you but heeseung as well after you found out everything about him you couldn’t feel one ounce of sadness for him.

Heeseung followed your line of vision, and he felt nothing but resentment toward the man he once called his father. "He can take care of himself" heeseung spat on his unmoving body and hooked his arm around your shoulder, and headed to the door. "Are you okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?" Heeseung said with worry.

"No," you whispered and shook your head softly while clutching onto his arm.

“Good” he whispered and kissed your cheek, a faint smile graced heeseung's features, and his eyes lit up as a warm feeling spread throughout his chest. He couldn't put into words how happy he was that you felt comfortable and safe with him.

You grabbed your suitcases and walked out the door hand in hand with heeseung. Once the car was fully loaded with your belongings, he opened the door and helped you inside, buckling your seatbelt and placing one last loving kiss on your temple as you smiled softly at him.

After he got in the driver seat and buckled himself in, he held your hand in his, rubbing soothing circles on your palm, and you're not sure what the future held for you and heeseung, but for right now, you were going to go wherever he takes you.

Cause, after all, it was heeseung that helped you break your unholy ties.

FIN.

Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate each and every one of you who made it to the end.

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