#i am aro/ace and sometimes i just want to feel seen in fandom spaces

[agnisleftpec]

the fun thing about being a nonshipper who's forcibly desensitized themself to romance so they can actually survive in fandom spaces is i am truly free. nothing can stop me. evryone is dating everyone and no one at once. and i get so much gorgeous art and fanfic

[aroace-ventplace]

Being in fandom spaces is honestly so exhausting. Because there'll be a character who explicitly expresses disinterest in sex and romance, and most of the fandom will headcanon them as gay/lesbian. Any aspec headcanon will get called homophobic or assumed to be coming from a place of "Christian purity culture" (no I'm not a Christian, wasn't raised Christian and am not from a Christian majority country. Your assumption is racist and xenophobic actually).

Then there'll be characters who are confirmed to be aro/ace. These characters are always shipped with literally every other character and shippers would be like "but aros can still date! And aces can still have sex!" But then you headcanon a character who used to be in a relationship as angled or oriented aroace, and the entire fandom will be like "but this character has been in a relationship before, so they can't be aspec!" These aphobic double standards are infuriating.

YEAH, i've seen all of this so many times i've lost count. i understand that the people who say these things want to see themselves reflected in characters they like, but... so do aspecs. why are our headcanons and interpretations of relationships always treated as less legitimate? why is canonical aspec representation and coding so universally ignored? why does existing as aspec in fandom spaces always have to feel like an uphill battle?

(...and sometimes we get to see new and exciting variations of aspec erasure when certain (allo) creators explicitly say it's totally fine to romantically/sexually ship their aroace characters. that's been a fun one to see play out.)

i stopped interacting with fandoms a long time ago - finding other individual people who don't just tolerate but are actually EXCITED to discuss aspec readings of series has been far better than any fandom experience i've ever had. still, it sucks that larger fandom culture is so hostile to anything outside of the norm (basically: shipping two cis allo white men) that so many people have had to splinter off into their own small groups. i don't have much hope, but maybe one day we'll get to a point where aspec perspectives won't be entirely erased in mainstream fandom. maybe.

[silvermoon424]

Re: your post about ppl only caring about romantic ships (I was going to rely but I had too many words lol).

While I am on the ace spectrum (Demi-sexual), I don’t think this is just an aro/ace thing, I think a lot of our society focuses on love as only a romantic/sexual thing when platonic, familial, and other kinds of life can be/are just as fulfilling, valuable, and important! I’ve always felt that my friends are just as significant as my romantic/sexual partners, but in fandom spaces I feel like romantic/sexual relationships are by far the most focused on and considered the most important! When I was first introduced to fanfic when I was a young teen, my friend explained it to me by describing shipping. Like to her, that’s all fanfics were for, was shipping characters and reading about it. But there can be so many great ways to interact with a source material that don’t focus on romance/sex at all, and there are so many wonderful character relationships and dynamics which don’t get explored because people choose to focus on the romantic and sexual relationships between characters.

I personally have never experienced any backlash for sharing my views on certain ships (probably in part because I have a much smaller audience than you and am also less vocal in general), but I do sometimes feel less confident or ashamed of sharing when I feel like a popular ship would be better off as friends. For example, I’ve always seen Chibiusa and Hotaru’s dynamic of that of a powerful friendship, and while I also don’t ship Chibiusa and Helios, I sometimes feel like if I say I like Chibiusa and Hotaru better as friends people will be upset at me or think that I’m being homophobic when really I just think that their friendship is powerful and wonderful and beautiful as it is and that changing their relationships to be romantic or sexual doesn’t elevate the relationship to be stronger or better, it just changes the dynamic. Like both friendship and romance are both valid options which help explore different parts of their characters and the dynamic between them, but I don’t feel like because the two of them are such good friends there needs to be a romance to signify their closeness and the importance/value of their relationships, I love their relationship as it is.

I feel like the actual underlying problems at hand though are that there is still a lot of stigma and shame around exploring sexuality in our society (especially for women and queer people), and the dominance of the nuclear family as an ideal makes us want to prioritize romantic/sexual relationships above all else. People use art to explore their sexuality, and it’s a safe and healthy way to explore our own romantic and sexual feelings by exploring romantic and sexual relationships between characters, and unfortunately I think that many people do not feel they have many (even any) other outlets to safely talk or think about romance and sex. If there was less shame around sexuality in the first place, I think people might not feel the need to put it on such a pedestal and make romantic/sexual relationships the main focus of ships (and a lot of other things too).

I’ve also always interpreted western society’s focus on romantic/sexual love to be tied to upholding the idea of the nuclear family, and indirectly (or directly idk) upholding many sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, and white supremacist notions about gender, sexuality, and power (from the Victorian era, maybe?).

Like, if we tell people the most important thing is their love life, then they’ll prioritize finding a romantic/sexual partner and spend less time establishing meaningful community connections, and thus will rely more on their spouse for emotional support, strengthening the bond of the family unit but also leaving them with fewer resources and more emotionally vulnerable if they try to leave the family. And since many romantic ideals intersect with gender roles (a man is attractive if he is strong and tough and can provide financially, he is chivalrous if he protects the women from any and all possible harm, etc), the emphasis on romantic and sexual relationships encourages people to conform to these gender norms, and thus establishes the traditional family archetype to be the most valuable and correct unit of social order. By reinforcing the idea that having a romantic/sexual partner is (arguably) the most important thing in our lives without giving us alternative structures for building these relationships aside from the nuclear family, it allows the nuclear family unit to continue to be the main way we organize our society and thus the socially correct option.

Wow, I really don't have much to add because you said everything so eloquently!! Great job, I agree with basically everything you said.

I do want to point out to anyone reading this that there actually is a term for society's prioritization of romantic relationships above all else: amatonormativity. And like anon said, it heavily ties back into the heteropatriarchy and the idea that everyone should be cis and in a heterosexual relationship (very preferably in a heterosexual marriage that produces children).

Amatonormativity hurts everyone, not just aro and ace people.

[plagued-melodies]

※Request and writing guidelines and just overall what to expect from my blog <3※

Background information about myself

General information, interests, pronouns, DNI, etc

I am Lost or sometimes known as Melody (My online alias, they are by no means by actual names)

I am 18

This is my main blog where I'm just as annoying

I go by all pronouns and do count myself as genderfluid (I am afab)

Bi(myself)

I love to write (obviously), draw (as you can tell from my main blog), BAKE, and clean any space that is not of my own because god where I do I even begin.

I don't have many DNI honestly, my blog is pretty much open to anyone except I am uncomfy with older men. I don't mind them online but I do write self-insert ship stuff so take that with what you will.

I am VERY specific about certain ships. I do not care much what people ship, as long as it isn't gross (child and adult or animals with people) or whatever, I won't care because I understand having a specific ship most people hate but the only reason you ship it is because of VERY SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES that would have to occur that you could EVER imagine it in but you can't simply say that in a short breath so people automatically think you're weird or some creep when no it's not like that LET ME EXPLAIN- PLeAse

DO NOT INTERACT IF

You are okay with minor x adult ship or Beastiality

You are homophobic or transphobic (this means the exclusion of nonbinary people too, incels)

you ship siblings

Do not include Aro/ace people in the queer community

You are conservative (this is a pro-choice blog)

Fandoms I write for

Blue ones are my current brain rots as of writing this and will probably post about them the most (probably mostly Genshin though) but if you request any of these I will try my best :D

I have intense tunnel vision I'm sorry

BungoStrayDogs

Toilet Bound Hanako-Kun

Servamp

Genshin Impact

The Owl house

gravity falls (MAYBE??? still dont know about this one honestly maybe headcanons about Dipper and Mable's future or something)

Danganronpa

supernatural

Security Breach (mostly interpretive with this, it can be seen as romantic OR platonic, I can see the appeal but I cannot forget that they are ROBOTS 😭)

My Hero Academia (Haven't finished or started it much tho, I will literally only judge them based on what I have found online and how they look)

Kamisama Kiss

Voltron

Inuyasha

Black Butler

Breath Of The Wild

Mystic messenger

The Arcana

WILL WRITE ✨

Fluff

Smut

Angst

Multi chapters or harem type deals, where it all sort of interconnects I always find those so cool <3

talk of mental illnesses but will not do so if I am not knowledgable on something (see my restrictions for more info)

Platonic/familial with children (I.E child! Reader + [insert character] but purely platonic or familial)

Teen! reader x teen character pairings are okay though, I'm a teen myself but once I'm an adult I will slowly migrate away from that or age the characters up with me :)

Platonic pairings

canon Character x canon character pair headcanon (platonic, familial, romantic, etc) It doesn't have to be self-inserts^^

Any kind of reader, from god, mortal, fem, male (though I'm more hesitant to do male! Reader x male characters because I am afab but Im genderfluid so I can only feel comfortable taking such requests from MLM individuals if I even feel comfortable at all) and so on and so forth :)

QUEER HEADCANONS, if you headcanon [character] as trans or as aro or as anything like that I will 100% do so.

Spicy or suggestive but there will always be a warning

same with descriptive gore/horror but I will always put a distinct warning

Poly relationships, not poly myself but I am a multi-shipper and I say we have two hands for a reason so go ahead, give me the polycules 👁👁

FAMILY HEADCANONS, like if you wanted me to write about your reader having a family with a character and whether or not that reader and character have kids and if they do whether or not they adopt 🥺

SOCIAL MEDIA AUS OML I MAY START ONE THEY ARE SO FUN

JUST AU's IN GENERAL ARE SO COOL OH MY GOD

I WILL NOT WRITE

Anything regarding really complex mental health stuff such as eating disorders, depression, OCD, Bipolar, etc. I do not have these disorders nor am I knowledgeable enough to write about them (highly doubt anyone would ask but I wanted to make it clear)

Minor characters in NSFW situations

NO INCEST

Genshin is a bit more nuanced with ages but characters like Bennett, Fischl, QiQi, Sayu, Yao Yao, Klee, Chongun, Xinqiu, Xiangling, Barbara, Noelle, Diona, Razor, Dori, Nahida, Freminet (debatable but I can't tell with him honestly), and Sigewinne (there might be more) AS OF THIS MOMENT I see as all MINORS. I may have missed a few and many more will be released but will try to update this asap. (I think Dori is a minor? I've seen mixed reactions but I'm just gonna say she is or that I'm uncomfortable with writing anything suggestive with a character that looks too much like the children characters)

Anyways, please stay safe, hydrated, and have an amazing day <3

[jaskierswolf]

hi im thinking of hosting some kind of ace / aro / platonic kind of week in another fandom but im not completely sure how to do such a thing. i am ace (and probably aro) but ppl that have expressed interest in partaking that arent, say they arent sure how to write respectfully ace or aro content, and that maybe there should be some guidelines (the only one that really comes to mind is dont make it all 'without a romantic partner im lesser / incomplete'). thoughts?

Hello!

It depends how formal you want the event to be you could set up something like @thewitchertransweek which had prompts, a blog, and a discord. Oh and an AO3 collection. That encourages lots of people to get involved, and the prompts are great for inspiring different ideas.

When I've done things for ace and aro week in the witcher. It's been a personal thing. I've asked for prompts and encouraged my friends to write things too if they have time/energy. I've also met friends through it because people have reached out having read the fics and seen themselves represented for the first time.

In terms of guidelines and being respectful, my best advice is to read fics and books featuring ace/aro characters. Look up articles, wikis, other media written by ace/aro people, and honestly remember that it is a spectrum.

Ace is defined as a lack of sexual attraction. This has nothing to do with wanting sex, libido etc. You can be ace and still be sex positive. It's just not finding people sexually attractive. Alternatively, you can be ace and never want anything to do with sex, and reallly most things in between. Some people like it hypothetically but not involving them, others feel attraction sometimes but always. This is the same with aro, just with romantic attraction.

Look up a glossary of ace/aro identities. Tell different stories with different parts of the spectrum, have fun exploring how this can challenge your writing.

You are right though. Being ace/aro isn't all doom and gloom. I don't mind stories that have a character struggling with their ace/aro identity, but for me it's always more rewarding to see a character being supported if they are struggling, or just happy with who they are.

I hope this makes sense! If you have any more specific questions I'd be happy to answer!

_

Also a quick reminder that I'm taking prompts for Ace week next month if anyone want to send in any witchery ones! I still have spaces left 💜💚

[ineffable-endearments]

Okay. Now I'm going to submit some theories about how I think Crowley and Aziraphale specifically are going to go in the future of Good Omens.

Again, this post is not really...specific theorizing about plot events. It's big-picture stuff.

With that said, this post will get a bit heavy at times, in the sense that it will contain opinions that not everyone will like. It drifted into rambling about queerbaiting and all that stuff. I'm not going to spam anyone's dashboard with drama over it, but it's very possible someone else might try. It's also not really a negative post, depending on what you want to hear, I suppose. But if you're only in the mood to read fluff today, you'll probably want to pass it up.

Oh! Also it's very long, and sexuality is discussed in a vague way that doesn't involve any story elements or body parts.

For starters, I don't think Good Omens 2 - or even 3, if that comes about - is going to have anything explicitly sexual or romantic between the two of them, where "explicit" is things like the characters giving outright definitions of their relationship or outright discussing exactly what goes on between them, either on or off-screen. I also don't think there's going to be kissing or "hooking up" (come on...that person on Twitter shouldn't have even asked). Those actions are too blatant for what Neil has already said about the series. While they technically leave some room for interpretation, they probably don't leave enough.

I DO think it's quite possible other characters will continue to define the relationship FOR them and Crowley and Aziraphale will continue to not deny it.

As far as the queerbaiting debate, "is Good Omens queerbaiting"...it's gonna depend how you define it. I always learned that queerbaiting was basically where the creators intentionally make it look like a character is gay or otherwise queer but then swap that character development out for a cis identity and hetero relationship at the end. The point is that the "bait" leads to queer audiences being actively hurt. That's the behavior that seems awful to me, and I don't see Neil and company doing that.

However, I think it's far and away the most likely option that it will be left up to interpretation whether Crowley and Aziraphale are, you know, a buddy duo or a romantic couple or some sort of ineffable queerness all their own off-screen. So if your definition of queerbaiting is "the characters seem gay to us, but homophobes can tell themselves they're not," then yes, I think that debate will follow us to our graves if we let it.

I am a cisgender, possibly straight (?? demi/bi? I might never find out) woman. There is absolutely no way I could ever tell anybody, ESPECIALLY not gay guys and nonbinary people - the people Crowley and Aziraphale tend to resemble the most - how to feel about their treatment in the story. All I can offer is that I'm one flawed individual and there are things I have the emotional capacity to handle and things I don't. Crowley and Aziraphale as both a canon construct and a fandom pairing mean an absurd amount to me, and I can't hang around in spaces where people are constantly talking about how my own interpretations of them are not enough, or how the story is written with ill intentions. I don't want to stop anybody from venting about it, but I am going to be removing myself from those situations.

I like to imagine 1990 NeilandTerry, or TerryandNeil, as a sort of two-headed God who came up with Crowley and Aziraphale, set them loose on Creation, and now are watching them get up to way more ridiculous stuff in the brains of their fans than they'd ever imagined in the first place. I like to imagine them watching, amused and bemused, as their creations fall in love in thousands of universes, and saying, "Well, we didn't specifically Plan for this, but we did promise free will."

This is psychoanalytical toward a public figure and is therefore a bit dangerous, so please take it with an entire mountain of salt, but I sometimes think perhaps Neil sees some of his and Terry's friendship in Crowley and Aziraphale, and suspect that he wants to reserve the possibility that they could be platonic because he and Terry were platonic, while at the same time leaving room for the fans to have their own interpretations, too. Because if there's one thing that comes up really frequently with Neil, it's his belief in imagination and how much stories matter to people. He can have his little corner of the universe where A and C reflect himself and Terry, and we can have...literally anything we want, as long as we're willing to extrapolate just a little bit from canon. It's not even that much extrapolation! It's just "Yes, they love each other, so what exactly does love mean to you?" and if love means kissing, well then, if we can think it, we can have it.

Given that Neil has written LGBT+ characters before, I think he has non-bigoted reasons for wanting Aziraphale and Crowley to remain undefined, and given even the small chance that those reasons may involve the grieving process for a dead friend, I believe it is unkind to argue with him about it or hold his reputation hostage over it.

With that said, do I want canon kissing/hooking up/all that stuff we put in fics? Listen, I can't deny that I do! Personally, I'd be over the moon. I'd probably be so happy I'd have to go to the hospital to get sorted out. Even the thought of it makes me giddy and light-headed, because that physicality is a part of my own experience of love.

However, there are a lot of people who would feel left behind if that happened. Ace and aro people in the fandom whose love for their friends and partners is just as strong as mine, but who are sex-repulsed or just don't want to see kissing on-screen. The loss of Crowley and Aziraphale as a pairing who are extremely easy to interpret as queerplatonic would be hurtful to them, and I do not want to see them hurt like that. I don't think Neil does, either.

So, once again, the "best for everyone" option becomes a really strong canon relationship based in both narrative function and profound affection, which has genuinely thoughtful queer undertones and leaves open the logical possibility for romantic or sexual encounters but does not insist that they must happen. People, especially fans who are super invested, tend to have an easier time imagining scenarios that take place off-screen (e.g. kissing, sex) than they have erasing scenarios that they've already seen in canon (e.g., if someone wished they could continue viewing it as an ace relationship but they were shown "hooking up"). Also, while relationships are super emotional and extremely subjective, I'd argue that in a long-term adult partnership, the non-sexual connection is more important than the sexual one. As a fan, I'd prefer to extrapolate "they love each other so maybe they'd have sex" rather than "they're sexually attracted to each other so maybe they'll intertwine their whole existences together."

It probably isn't necessary to add, but I will anyway: I'm aware that Good Omens is sort of sacrificing social leverage - the ability to whack homophobes over the head with canon if they try to deny the show's queerness - and is thus not really contributing to making specifically gay relationships more widely seen and accepted. However, I don't think all stories have to invest heavily in every social issue they touch on for them to still be meaningful. I also do think Good Omens is an excellent example of a relationship that is extremely profound without being heteronormative.

I don't think the next season is going to be a rom-com. It will likely not even be a "love story," where the definition of "love story" is "a story that follows the development of a relationship and employs certain plot beats to make its point." Remember that conflicts and breakups are key to love stories, so if it IS a love story, then we're going to have to watch the relationship get challenged in ways some of us might have thought were already resolved in season 1! And while that could be thrilling and ultimately very good, it would also be likely to undercut some of the careful headcanoning and analysis we've already done. Any sequel is going to do that to some degree, but a second love story would probably do it a lot, with interpretations that people are even more protective of.

I'm sort of thinking the next season is likely to be a fantasy-heavy mystery, only because those are the two concepts Neil's introduction led with - an angel with amnesia who presents Crowley and Aziraphale with a mystery. Crowley and Aziraphale's connection to each other can still absolutely be a major theme! It can still be the thread stitching the plot together! It just probably, in my opinion, won't escalate and escalate and escalate like it did in season 1. And it will probably be woven in there among a lot of other plot threads that are, in many moments, louder. Still, I'd love to be left with the impression of these two existences, the light and the dark, subtly becoming more intimate, subtly growing more comfortable in this shared place they've chosen in the universe, gradually starting to behave like they know they aren't alone in the world anymore, all while other things happen to and around them.

Nonsexual physical intimacy - a really great hug, or leaning together on the sofa, or a forehead touch, or something like those, something that could happen in a lot of different kinds of relationships but is undoubtedly based in deep trust and affection and a desire to be close...that's the dream, for me. Oh, how lovely it would be.

Of course, I could be just absolutely, embarrassingly wrong about all this. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

[just-another-hhazbin]

Alright it is time to risk getting myself cancelled. Today we’re going to be talking about aspd, aka anti-social personality disorder.  I’m making this post because I haven’t seen one that discusses everything I wanna talk about so here we are.

What is anti-social personality disorder?  In the barest essentials, it is an emotional disorder where it is very difficult to empathize with other people and understand their emotions, have high levels of apathy, etc. Sometimes it also correlates with very low impulse control.

In other words, it’s what some of y’all like to call sociopathy and psychopathy.

Let’s get one thing clear first - sociopathy and psychopathy are not actual pscyhology-approved words. ASPD is. However, the media and culture (or at least American culture, which is what I have first-hand experience with) has villianized and exaggerated it into this common trend where every criminal or horror figure HAS to be a sociopath or psychopath. 

Yeah, as one does with mental illnesses. Thanks, Hollywood + Government.

So right off the bat - please I beg of you to stop using psychopath and sociopath to describe someone “crazy” or “evil.” Stop that. (I’m not saying never ever use the word. Some characters are gonna say slurs cause they be like that. But you, personally, should know better. And also stop putting it in your story summaries and character descriptions, goddamn.) 

You are perpetuating a false narrative. It is estimated that 1 in 100 people in America have ASPD. Someone you know probably has it, even if they haven’t been officially diagnosed or even know they have it. If they do know, they’re probably really damn sick of hearing that comparison. 

ASPD is also not an aesthetic, and you know exactly who you are. If you want the edgy serial killer aesthetic I am certainly not going to judge you, but for the love of everything leave aspd out of it.

Someone with ASPD is not emotionless.  That’s another false narrative we can chuck out the window. It is true that they might be quicker to temper or seem somewhat cold or analytical, but those are hardly traits limited to those with ASPD. Some people do have higher levels of apathy and/or narcissis than others, but none of us are robots so cut that generalizing shit out.

As with most things, ASPD is a spectrum with different levels of effect and functionality. Someone who is more affected by ASPD but has been to therapy may have a higher functionality than someone with a milder situation. 

Personal experiences shape individuals, shocking, I know.

Also, just because someone has ASPD does not mean that they cannot form relationships or friendships. It may be difficult to understand empathy but sympathy can often be managed, and it is possible to feel affection and friendship in some form for even the most severe cases. 

It also doesn’t mean that they can or will ever develop empathy. We are viewing the same world but with different lenses, and that is okay. 

We might not see friendships or relationships the same but that doesn’t mean we can’t form attachments or feel a sort of acknowledged possessiveness that is the equivalent for some of us.

That there is a lack of empathy doesn’t make someone a bad person. It is still possible for someone without empathy to look at a bad thing and know it exists and not do it because they have A) their own moral code that may not make sense to the normative lense or B) they have self-preservation and/or a basic understanding of social norms and fucking decency.

“But I know someone who did [x bad thing] and THEY were diagnosed with sociopathy/psychopathy!”

First off, I’d like to see who made that diagnossis, since again, those aren’t considered valid terminology by the majority of the modern psychology world. Secondly, I bet I can fiind at least a hundred to a thousand to a million people who did [x bad thing] and don’t have aspd. Correlation does not equal causation, people.

You don’t have to understand something to still choose to do it. We might not understand why someone would be affected by x action, but we can choose what impact we make. There is no little sociopath/psychopath demon running around in our head laughing maniacally and pressing “evil” buttons. (This is a thing that therapy can help with though, especially for some people. For others it’s more a matter of socialization and exposure and it’s a learning process for everyone, aspd or not.)

I would also like to take a moment here to say that if someone tries to excuse their abusive behavior with “I have aspd/[x mental illness here]” it is just that - an excuse. If they are in a situation where they really cannot control themselves, then it is time to go to therapy or call counseling services and in any case you yourself are in no way indebted to helping them or staying in a dangerous relationship.

Anyway, disclaimer over, moving on.

A lot of this has been discussed around, so here’s onto something I’ve been seeing a lot of recently, especially in fandom and certain LGBTQ+ spaces, and am getting really sick of.

ASEXUALITY, AROMANTICISM, AND ASPD DO NOT HAVE TO BE LINKED

The ace =/= aro argument has already been said a thousand times, but I’ll say it again. Both asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums and they do not go hand in hand. People who want sex might not want love and people who want love might not want sex and, once again, that is OKAY. 

Now, onto the aspd factor - lately I’ve been seeing a lot of people saying “oh, such and such character is ace/aro/acearo, they MUST have aspd [or other terms]” or “such and such is a psychopath/sociopath and SO, they’re aro.”

Stop that.

Seriously.

Someone may very well have aspd and be ace, or aro, or acearo. But once again, correlation does not equal causation. I do get that on some level it’s understandable to play someone with aspd as aromantic in particular, but the lense is far too narrow, especially when it turns into a “must” situation.

Maybe what you would consider “romantic love” isn’t the same as someone with aspd would consider “romantic love,” but that doesn’t mean that they don’t experience it. Individuals have their own individual identities and definitions. 

There aren’t unbreakable chains attaching aspd, asexuality, and aromanticism together. It is perfectly okay to be all of those things at once or have a character that is all of those things, but please remember that they are all independent traits and are spectrums that show themselves in a variety of ways.

Also, don’t call being aromantic or asexuality a mental illness. Seen that one making the rounds again too and it’s fucking stupid. Stop it and just admit to being ace/arophobic so I can block you and move on.

~Disclaimer that I am NOT a psychologist, just a tired bastard.~

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Hello! :) I hope you’re doing well ☀️ do u have any ace or aroace fics you’ve read that you would recommend? I’m trying to find good a-spec stories, especially in Star Trek or LOTR (It’s hard bc so many fandom spaces are so sexualized.) Thank you for all of your content!

Ooh yeah that kind of stuff is tricky because a lot of it does revolve around sexualized content. And the aspec content we do get is sometimes so focused on "here's the meaning of the word ___" that it can seem out of character :( but thankfully there are some content creators who make some really great fanfic! Here's a list of a few good ones I was able to find!

Also, shameless self-plug, but I recently wrote a couple Star Trek fics as well in which Spock is aroace (although I didn't use any specific terms and left it vague enough to be open to interpretation). I'll stick the links in here as well, feel free to check 'em out!

Star Trek

Constellations

This one is very well written and authentic to the characters' voices! There isn't anything explicitly aspec in here yet, but the tags indicate that Spock is going to be written as asexual as the fic continues.

Distractions

This one's for DS9. Ace!Odo gives me so much life and although it's short it really made me smile :)

35 Minutes to Midnight

Ohhhhh man this was so sweet! I actually just found this one while looking for some other fics to recommend. It's TOS or AOS Spock and Kirk (I read it as TOS only because I'm more attached to them) and it's beautifully written. The tags specify Spock is ace and it's also written in a way that he might well be aro too--the dynamic between the two of them feels very organic and could be interpreted however you like! Not too long, but not too short, either. Definitely give this a read!

Rec Deck Adventures

This one is so fluffy and nice! And Uhura-centric (which I am pumped about). Also, according to the tags, we have quite a few aros as well! The aro rep is implied but pretty darn clear, and the characters are written very authentically. Another relatively-short-but-just-long-enough one. Very good!

The Measure of a Man

And this one's mine (don't kill me for including it on this list lol 😂). It focuses on Aro!Spock versus ace content, but it's vague enough that you can interpret things however you want (I wrote him as aroace, but who knows? You can even read into Bones and Jim--maybe one of them is ace!). I wanted to spice things up in terms of what rep is out there. Feel free to give your thoughts if you read it :)

The Words The Silence Carries

Actually, ya know what, I literally finished writing this 10 minutes ago but here have this one too 😂 more aroace Spock but with a (not-quite-explicit-but-basically-is) QPR. Have fun lol!

LOTR

Make Me a Home in the Wind

Awwww yiss man this one is so good it's Legolas and Gimli, it's SO authentic to the characters and to canon (which is my favorite type of fic) and it feels so genuine and real. Very good aspec rep and very good Tolkien vibes. Love it

No Finer Friend

This was sweet :) it's got a real nice representation of a QPR (Frodo and Sam babyyy) and the challenges that can go along with that when a romantic relationship is present, but it's also super cute and doesn't lose that uplifting lightheartedness! Another relatively short one.

Hope Left

I honestly cannot say I expected to find this one, especially seeing as Boromir is already forgotten about enough (he gets so little credit! Arghh) but Aro!Boromir??? I've never seen it before and can I say this was a treat to read. Rather short and it has a lovely tie-in to canon!

I also have a whole bunch for fandoms like Marvel, Sherlock, etc. as well as Snape, so if you want any more recs just send me an ask! I also, as mentioned above, write fic, so if you have a specific fic you want just let me know and I will give it a shot :)

[halorocks1214]

Obviously TAG for the ask meme

I saw this coming from a mile away and I still Surprised Pikachu faced

Thanks for the ask!

Favorite character: Alaaaaan my bby (tho John is a close 2nd)

Least Favorite character: Is it cliche to hate the obviously hateable characters? Because Professor Harold is definitely up there (Fischler barely dodges because he’s gotten a few chuckles out of me for being a complete and utter dumbass. Watching him get owned is fun)

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): These ship questions are going to be rough because I don’t really ship in this fandom like I do others? It’s probably my fault since I haven’t fully sat down and watched every episode and gotten all the ship-fodder I could possibly get, but if I did have to pick some: Penelope/Gordon, I’m a fan of John/Ridley just as much as the headcanon he’s Aro/Ace, I don’t mind Brains/Moffat or Brains/Virgil, and your Penny/Scott fics are cute don’t @ me after posting this

Character I find most attractive: Penelope could punch me and I would say thank you

Character I would marry: Don’t make me choose (but fr if I had to, Scott or Virgil ngl. They would make great husbands)

Character I would be best friends with: I would LOVE to have an EOS in my life. She would be a blast. Sass Masters For Life (also having a sentient Google follow you around would be awesome)

a random thought: I really am surprised at how small this fandom is. I get TOS being obscure since A.) 60s and B.) those dolls really don’t do the series any favors, but TAG? I mean I guess the animation is a little bit of a turn off for some people but it seems like your typical kids show that people would hop onto in the blink of an eye (like VLD or MLP). Maybe cuz it’s not American? Who knows, I just want more people to know about this show haaa

An unpopular opinion: I hope I’m allowed to not answer a question because I’ve tried thinking of one and I physically cannot come up with anything. I’m a very basic bitch and most of my opinions fall in line with the majority of this fandom sooo *yeets myself to the next question*

My Canon OTP: Penandink Penandink Pennyyy and Gordyyy (DID YOU SEE THE WAY SHE HELD HIS ARM IN THE FINALE?? NICE)

My Non-canon OTP: … Uh, Jeff/Lucy? *gets smacked over the head*

Most Badass Character: I only wish to be able to kick as much ass as Parker and he’s like 70 years older than me too, damn

Most Epic Villain: The Hood, though, I suppose that was a gimme

Pairing I am not a fan of: Again, have yet to fully watch the series, so I probably haven’t seen all the reasons why people are into Kayo/Virgil as I possibly could (though yall are free to tell me them since I’m rather flexible when it comes to what I ship or don’t)

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Ridley should have appeared more than she did. She was fun

Favorite Friendship: The fandom mainly has made me really appreciate the BroTP that is Penny and John, but if I base my feelings off what the show has given me Penny and Parker are quite adorable with how they destroy everyone around them

Character I most identify with: As much as Alan is my fave, I too would love to lock myself up in space away from the rest of humanity like John sometimes (introverted as fuuuuuck)

Character I wish I could be: I guess any of the Tracys, really. They all have qualities I find to be respectable and that if more people had the world would be a better place  they’re also rich as fuuuuck

Fandom ask for anybody else that would like it

[non-writingwriter]

The Great Plan to Take Lin Xiaoming To The Gay Pride

Hello there! I’m back in the fandom with a little drabble I wrote during Pride month like, last year. And then proceeded to forget all about it until now, when I was looking through my files to do some organising and I found it abandoned in a corner. It’s a cute, silly thing, but I like it and I hope you do too! :)

-

Banba is well aware that the better part of Lin's life hadn't been exactly easy. Or common, by any means.

And yet.

There are things that everyone should do at least once before dying. And seen as likely as it is for a hitman to die any given day, before dying implies well before being twenty-one.

Those things include marching in a Pride - hell, knowing what a Pride is, in the first place.

It takes a while to explain it to him, and even when Banba manages, Lin doesn't seem so enthusiastic.

Banba isn't sure if it's because he hates people or because he doesn't believe him.

At times, Banba wonders how Lin would be now if he knew asexuality was a thing ten years ago, or if he was ever given the time and place to grow up like every child should. He wouldn't probably be the Lin he is now, but he wonders anyway.

Banba also wishes he could give it to him. He can't, clearly, but he can take him to Pride.

Hakata's Gay Pride might not be New York's, but it's not bad for a start.

The morning of the Big Day he still hasn't told Lin anything about The Great Plan to Take Lin Xiaoming To The Gay Pride - which is admittedly a bit of a long title for a plan, so TGTLXTGP for short.

(Everyone they know knows about TGTLXTGP. It was a necessary evil, because he needs Enokida to keep an eye out for any problems and he needs Jirou's face paint, seen as he never thought about buying grey and white.

When he shows up at the bar, Jirou has to physically restrain his daughter from coming home with him to paint Lin's cheeks. He would have let her, had it been someone else - maybe next year they could go together, he says.

It's selfish of him, but he really really wants to be the first - and possibly the only - one to see Lin's eyes when the truth and high of people and music kicks in. He might even laugh.

Banba really really hopes he does. There isn't one single better way to die.)

He comes home a little later than he planned for, so he can't exactly ease Lin into the idea like he had hoped to do.

Instead, he sits him down on the couch, face paint in hand, and he prays Lin won't bite all of his fingers off. 

"We're going to Pride. And I am going to paint your cheeks, because I'll be damned if you don't get the full experience, Lin-chan." he says, going for cheerful in the hopes Lin will be too blindsided by the sudden attack to answer it with one of his own.

He only looks confused, though. Well, angry-confused, which is how Lin looks a great deal of the time anyway.

"That's completely idiotic. Why should you paint me?" he asks, a frown firmly in place on his face and weariness in his eyes.

Banba tries to smile bigger, and it's not too hard. It's oh so delightful to be the one that gets to cross this bridge with him.

"It's to show you're part of a group, Lin-chan. If you're really against it I won't push it, but I thought it could be nice for you to wear the asexual colours?" and he can see Lin frown, confused. He doesn't question him further, probably deeming it useless to ask where these supposed colours come from or something along those lines.

He nods, quickly, when Banba questioningly raises the palette again, and that's enough.

(He does quite a good job, the colours blending nicely together without being a shapeless mess. The unique grey of his eyes is almost the same as the one on his skin, and Banba stares at his face a hell of a lot of time more than recommended, but he can't exactly help himself.

He startles when Lin glares at him, making it obvious he's been spacing out for a while.

The glare almost completely disappears when he smiles, offering him the paint.

"Care to help me, Lin-chan?" he asks, beaming when he nods again, curiosity in his expression.)

Banba can sense Lin's nervousness when they finally join the parade, laughter and loud music echoing in the square where they're regrouping before starting to walk.

He lets his right hand relax, maybe a little too close to Lin's side than strictly necessary, just in case. He's actually surprised when Lin takes it, squeezing it forcefully and pretending not to.

He's not looking at him, assessing his surroundings with that angry-confused expression on that Banba finds so familiar and that is probably scaring off half of the people that would like to talk to them.

(Banba is sure there is at least someone, because Hakata's community is small and Lin's face is new and this is the first year he's not with Jirou. Rumours have probably already started, but he only grips Lin's hand more strongly, trying to be reassuring.)

Lin tenses up when someone - judging by the flag she's carrying around, she's with the ace/aro group, which makes sense - gets close to them despite his murderous glances.

The girl seems friendly enough, innocuous - suddenly shy under their joint scrutiny.

"Hello!" she begins, too loud even though the music is still louder. Lin frowns - he frowns more -and she awkwardly waves at them, still smiling hesitantly. She talks directly to him, looking towards Banba sometimes like she's making sure she's not bothering, because Lin surely is looking at her like she is. "I just noticed the flag on your face, you know. I wanted to ask if maybe you wanted to join us for the parade?" she keeps going, and then, quickly, when she notices the way Lin is clinging to his side, "You both, of course."

(At that, Banba sees out of the corner of his eye the way Lin's free hand relaxes a little, falling further away from the knife strapped to his thigh.

Instincts are hard to eradicate, but he's an optimist. A couple of years of this, and he might at least agree to wear something else, maybe hide the knife in his boot.

Oh, wouldn't it be nice to see him wearing boots. He makes a mental note for himself, in case the possibility to ask ever presents itself.)

They end up marching almost the whole thing next to the group. Lin is stiff, at first - almost timid, in a way Banba never thought he would be.

(But is it weird, in the end?

He thinks about things confessed in the dead of night, whispered - sometimes only wrenched words.

Fear. Alone. Freak. The only one. Machine. Wrong. Freak, freak, freak.

He knows how that was the worst possible thing to be, in his situation.

He will never know how it must feel to know he's not alone at all.)

He lets his hair down quickly enough, once he decides nobody is trying to kill them and he hasn't tried to kill anybody. He still scowls, still frowns, still looks kind of angry - but there's something, in his eyes, while he listens to stories and shared experiences and things Banba will never be able to understand, or to explain to him.

He listens, and when he glances up at him - when they're almost done, music getting louder and colours brighter, laughter resounding in the air like silver bells - Banba sees the wonder, innocent and wide-eyed and beautiful, just for a moment.

He doesn't laugh, but he does something even better.

Honestly, Banba can't recall a time when being kissed within an inch of his life felt as good.

[wandamaximoffappreciationblog]

My “unpopular “ MCU/DC/ Comics based fandoms opinion…

I know I haven’t posted in a long time, I’ve just been busy with reading and the holidays! I really am nearly done with pennyworth and I’ll post my thoughts on the final half of this season and smallville season five soon! Also thinking of posting more lore Olympus thoughts. For right now, I kind of want to post on one of my more maybe controversial/unpopular opinions with marvel, dc and to an extent the Riverdale fanbases. I’ve always tried to be really accepting of everyone’s interpretations and opinions on these types of shows, but sometimes the people/shippers who are only involved in the MCU/DC(shows and movies)) /CW Riverdale fandom really make no sense to me.Mainly just how intense some people in these fandoms get about shipping sometimes. I am in no way saying if you like some of the ships I mention that you are automatically a bad shipper but one of my main reasons for being so picky with stucky and SuperCorp even though I do really like supercorp and admire stucky content is because I’ve noticed some fans in these circles get very odd if you like a character from those ships with someone else, even if it’s in the comics universe. I just don’t understand why people have to get so extreme, but especially in a fandom where there’s literally so many interpretations of the same characters and different relationships. I really think with comics, treating the fandom that way doesn’t make any sense. I also sometimes get frustrated with how bi/pan headcanons are treated with this type of space because I personally feel like if you’re making the fandom space feel unwelcome for other ships, that can potentially hurt people who ship characters with multiple genders and feel represented this way. As for Riverdale, I understand that ace jughead would have been wonderful, but there is actually a lot of older comics content that backs up Bughead.((Also, jug could be ace but not aro)). Also, I think the ace comic came out a bit after the show was produced as well.I’ve seen some people get really mad at Bughead and Jarchie people before and I’m just like well everyone likes different things or takes from different interpretations of these mediums? It’s okay to have whatever opinion you want, but again I just think with these kinds of mediums there’s literally so much stuff the creators can take from.I’m really not trying to be mean, but I’ve just never understood some of the stuff I see in these fanbases. Please don’t take these critiques the wrong way!

[xenonentity]

okay i’m making a separate post because i don’t want to derail the other one but i also want to talk about this lmao 

by “the other one” i mean the post about how black characters in video games are always “coincidentally” the ones that get the most hate in fandoms (this post here) 

which is 100% true, hence why i didn’t want to add this to that post and derail the conversation (esp since im white)

but it brought to mind the other characters (as far as bioware goes, i haven’t played fallout) that i see getting a lot of hate- autistic characters. 

the only examples i really have off the top of my head are sera from dragon age inquisition and peebee from mass effect andromeda, but i’m sure i could find more examples floating around if i had the energy for it lmao (and this isn’t even talking about bioware’s writing of canonically autistic characters... that’s another thing altogether) 

but look, these two characters just so happen to be autistic coded, and not only are they some of the most complained about characters in their games, the reasons people tend to give for disliking them are directly linked to autistic traits and it’s really tiring ?? 

first up is sera- and i’m way less invested in dragon age than i am in mass effect, but i still got a lot of feelings about the way the fandom treats sera. i played through less than 1 full playthrough of inquisition and didn’t buy trespasser and i played as a qunari so i didn’t get the elf dialogue that a lot of people are uncomfortable with, so i’m not talking about that; from what i do know, that seems like valid reasons to be upset (though i would argue it’s less a reflection of her character than her writing) 

but the rest of the hate i see from her is related to two things: her being a lesbian, and her being “weird” and “quirky” (and by this i mean autistic) 

this is not about lesbophobia so i’m not going to get into that too much here even though it does contribute to how the fandom treats her. that’s a conversation for another time and a lesbian would be a better person to talk about that anyway (i’m panromantic/asexual) 

but like i said, the MAJORITY of the hate i see about sera is directly related to the fact that she’s autistic/displays autistic traits. of course no one is outright saying “i hate sera because she’s autistic!” but the things that they point out and dislike/hate/mock her for ARE traits associated with autism 

her “weird” social quirks- “rude”/crude language, inappropriate (but blunt and honest) observations about others, not understanding others’ feelings, speech patterns that are slightly off or different, lack of understanding of social cues/conventions... this is all off the top of my head, and most of the hate for her is directly related to this. she’s “rude” or “mean” or “stupid”; she’s “self-absorbed” or “petty” or “disinterested”... she doesn’t fit in and doesn’t feel like others that she is supposed to be like (her issues with her heritage is a lot of internalized hatred, it’s because she knows she’s not what she’s “supposed” to be and it’s HARD to feel completely different). 

and then we move on to peebee, who i’ve already seen called “sera in space” (and... not in a good way lmao) but yeah, they do share a lot of similarities, now don’t they? it’s not a coincidence that the hate i see towards both of them tends to be pretty similar, too. 

“peebee should be NICER” is what i see a lot. which is? kinda absurd to me? like... i don’t remember a single time where she’s outwardly mean or hostile to ryder. she’s guarded and, like sera, she’s blunt and to the point. she doesn’t immediately trust ryder. but she was never mean. 

and, like sera, she’s “quirky” and “weird”, and the way she talks is a bit “off” or different. she gesticulates a lot and her inflections sometimes seem out of place,  she talks quickly, she doesn’t do a lot of standing still (literally or figuratively), she intentionally keeps people out, and guards herself. she has poor communication skills that cause other characters- and the fandom- to assume the worst. 

and people not calling her space sera are calling her liara 2.0, despite her personality being vastly different from liara’s. they don’t have similar personalities at all. (i could probably argue for liara being on the spectrum, too, but that’s a convo for another time). what they have in common is that they both had a specific special interest- liara had the protheans, and peebee has the remnant. (and i will be the first to say that it felt like peebee’s interests/goals were the same as liara’s at first, but as the game goes on it becomes clear that they really aren’t at all) 

this is, as you may have guessed, another common trait of autistic people; special interests that they research and want to know everything about, sometimes they overshare or forget to focus on anything else, not wanting to talk about most things but then when you talk to them about The Thing suddenly they can’t shut up... sounds familiar. 

peebee also shows overwhelm and sensory overload- it’s less blatant, but she shuts down or lashes out when she gets too overwhelmed by something. she sleeps away from the rest of the crew so she can have her own space. when she gets really overwhelmed she literally retreats to a sensory deprivation tank aka the zero g scene. she became overwhelmed and to stop that panic she literally, literally, sought out a vastly different sensory stimulation. this scene was really important to me because sensory issues are one of my biggest challenges as an autistic, and it really sealed the deal for me in regards to her being autistic, too. and before anyone tries to argue that she just wanted zero g sex- literally don’t. sex was clearly an idea she had while they were floating- after they had been floating for a while already. her first priority was to reach a safe space. once she was calmed down, she sought out sex. i also really love that peebee (and sera too) is autistic but still shown as sexual, just because most of the autistic characters i see are ace and/or aro. And like, as an ace autistic i’m not saying this is bad, i’m just pointing it out because of the stereotypes regarding disabled people as innately less/non-sexual 

so yeah long story short fandom is always targeting any characters that show signs of not being “normal” or that marginalized people can relate to, and i don’t see people talking about autistic-coded characters and how fandom treats them much at all 

if you have any questions about autism and my headcanons for these characters or something else related, my ask box is open! also to other autistics feel free to discuss with me of course. 

debate/discussion is fine but if you reblog and try to attack me or start drama i’m gonna block you.