#i am calling uncle oscar Right NOW

[fivekrystalpetals]

Me going WTF twice this chapter:

Specimen 1:

Specimen 2:

[nathaslosthershit]

Lie Detector (Teen Dad!OP81 AU)

(Part of the Teen Dad!Oscar AU) Summary: Oscar does a lie detector test and Lando learns some tough pills to swallow.

“So, our first media video for McLaren since the big news came out, right Oscar?” Lando said.

“Yep.” Oscar weakly responded. When McLaren asked him to do the lie detector test again, hoping to poke fun at the recent events, he was weary. He knew his team wouldn’t do anything to hurt him or his family, and it would probably be great from a PR perspective, but he was already tired of constantly answering questions. 

“Or should I call you Daddy Osc now?”

“Please never call me that.”

“So, we are doing a lie detector to try and expose all secrets the two of us may be hiding, like an entire family for example.” Lando, of course, knew about Oscar’s kids before he was exposed, but he still loved the opportunity to poke fun at him for it, even if he totally understood why Oscar did what he did.

“This time, we are using a heavy duty lie detector, with actual wires and someone to tell whether we are for sure telling the truth, instead of a toy that shocks us at random.” Oscar continued, ignoring Lando’s comment.

The words ‘Oscar tells the truth’ flashed on the screen till a wired up Oscar appeared behind the desk.

“Okay Oscar, starting off easy. Is your name Oscar Jack Piastri?” Lando was giddy as he asked, really excited to get information out of his teammate.

“Yes.” was all he responded. Truth.

“Are you originally from Australia?”

“Yep.” Truth. This was easier than he had thought, but looking in Lando’s eyes, he could see the glint of mischievousness in them.

“Are you a daddy?” 

“I am a father, yes. I don’t like the look in your eyes when you call me that.” Truth.

“Do you have any other kids you are hiding?”

“No more than the two.” Truth.

“Am I their favorite uncle?” Lando knew he had it in the bag. The Piastri twins loved him and how much he spoiled them. Their parents? Not so much. Oscar’s fiancee had time and time again argued with the amount of toys Lando would get them at random.

He did begin to sweat a little as Oscar took a little longer to answer the question. He didn’t know how to break the news to him. 

“...Yes.” Lie.

“What! Oscar? You said I was their favorite!” 

“Lando, Logan has been in their life since they were born. He established himself as the cool uncle. When I let him babysit, I always return home to them eating way too much ice cream. To be fair, I think he has trained them like Pavlov’s dogs to associate him with treats so now they get way too excited and jumpy when they see him.” Oscar explained.

“This is stupid anyway I don’t care.” Lando mumbled, caring very much that he wasn’t the favorite. “Moving on, I don’t have any more questions so I guess it is my turn.”

After the video had been filmed, Oscar and Lando walked back over to the meeting room that the Piastri twins and their mother had been given to hang out in while they filmed. On the walk over, Lando interrogated his teammate even more.

“I cannot believe that I am not the cool uncle! I have never not been the cool uncle. Mila thinks I am cool, how do your kids not?”

“Lando, they are three, it is nothing personal. They love the toys you get them and they are always asking for you when they come to the factory. Logan just has seniority over you and has been the cool uncle forever, it is hard to dethrone him after a year.” Oscar said this hoping that it would stop Lando from spoiling them tenfold. 

If anything it just made him even more motivated to overthrow Logan.

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri and 472,264 others

landonorris logansargeant I will become the cool uncle

oscarpiastri lando please. No more toys we don't have the room

logansargeant In your dreams old man.

[mp0625]

Pass the Cranberries

Oscar Piastri x reader

Taglist. Masterlist.

A/N: To everyone that voted Oscar you were correct! Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate!!

“So I’m meeting your parents today?” Oscar asked, looking at you from the passenger seat.

“Yes, and my brother and sister, my grandparents on both sides, my aunt and uncle from my mom’s side and my great aunt and uncle will be there Thursday.” You list keeping your eyes on the road watching for deer as you wind down the country road.

“How much farther?” He questions after you hit another pothole.

“We are here!” You said as you pull off the larger dirt road onto a smaller one lane dirt road.

“So this is where you grew up?” He looked over at you questionly.

“Yup, born and raised.”

“When was the last time you were here?”

“Weekend before Vegas, while you were at the factory Zac let me go home early, I was able to do most of the work from home.” You said as you go farther up the driveway, as you pass a barn you mention. “That barn is one my great grandpa built, that we used to house cows. But now my mom wants to fix it up and create an air BnB.” As you pull up to the house you put the car in park, and you pop the trunk. As you are getting your suitcases out of the car you hear the front door open.

“Y/N” “Come hear I missed you!” Your mom is now standing on the front porch.

“You saw me two weeks ago.” You said as you walked over to give her a hug.

“Oh, me and your dad saw you on TV, they showed the analysts on the McLaren pit wall and we recognized you.” Your mom said holding you at arm's length. “Come inside, it’s chilly out here. Can I get y’all a drink?” She said opening the front door. As Oscar comes up the stairs behind you carrying your bag.

“Thank you.” Giving him a kiss on the cheek, you grab your bag from him and head inside.

The next morning, as you are drinking your coffee on the front porch. You hear mom call, “Y/N, can you run up to the gas station and grab a couple bags of ice? Please.”

“Yes ma’am.” You said standing up finishing your last sip of coffee. “Oscar, do you want to go with me? It’s about a 20 minute ride there and back.”

“Sure, let me grab my jumper.” He said heading into the house.

Once y’all were on y’all way back Oscar broke the comfortable silence by saying. “I didn’t realize you grew up this far out of town.”

“Yeah it was a little hard to do sports and stuff, but I loved it and wouldn’t have it any other way.” You said with a smile.

Once you pull in and get the ice unloaded. Your mom asks Oscar. “Can you help me with the mashed potatoes by peeling the potatoes? Please.”

“Sure.” He says coming into the kitchen. After a few minutes he asks. “Hey Y/N, am I doing this right?” Showing you a half peeled potatoe.

“Yeah, it looks perfect.” You said.

Thursday morning Oscar woke up to absolute chaos, you and your mom running around putting pots on the stove and turning crock pots on and firing up the smoker, even though y’all did most of the cooking yesterday. As you were putting the green beans on you heard someone pulling up the gravel driveway. You hear your dad shout from the front porch, “They’re here.” After everyone comes in and says hi and gets hugs, y’all settle on the couch and catch up while your aunt puts her food in the oven to keep warm.

In the middle of dinner You and Oscar were talking about one of the races from earlier this year, to your aunt. You hear your sister start up. “They Shouldn’t have done that, that's what caused him to crash!”

“You're just saying that because he’s your favorite.” Your brother shouted back.

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not.”

As they continue to get louder you start to call their names but they aren't listening so you have to resort to. “Will you please pass the cranberries?” “Will you please pass the cranberries?” “Please pass the cranberries!” You said hitting your hands on the table after every word.

Taglist: @studioreader @honethatty12 @slafgoalskybaby @swissboyhisch @topguncultleader @wondershells @cixrosie

[madrigaljail]

Interlude

Would you like some celebrity AU in these trying times? Have some nonsense; don't worry about Eli, he's an OC, it's fine.

*

“Finally tonight, my producers won’t let me end the show without discussing the most compelling story in the nation, a tale of intergenerational drama which begs the question: which speaks to you most? Do you like a redemption arc, recognition coming after decades of struggle? Or a reward for raw, young talent the likes of which has never before been seen? These questions will possibly be answered Sunday night, when the Emmy Awards give a trophy to…a Best Supporting Actor in a Drama.

“On the one hand you have Bruno Madrigal, whose offscreen exploits have overshadowed his work for decades. In recent years, however, he’s become beloved by children as the voice of Hernando the Crab in the animated Shore Thing film series and attracted critical acclaim in indie films such as The Collaboration and onstage in an off-Broadway revival of Endgame. Now he’s nominated for his role as Oscar Ramos, a pedicab driver with a secret in AMC’s thriller Upper West. 

“Then there’s his nephew, Camilo Madrigal, who has veered away from the music careers of his mother and sister to follow - cautiously, we hope - in his uncle’s acting footsteps. He has more than a knack for it, given his star turn as nine different characters…or maybe it’s the same one in different phases, who knows what’s happening on Max’s scifi-horror hit Idle Hands? My nephew’s tried to explain it several times, but I’ve given up figuring it out.

“So, where do you fall: Team Camilo, or Team Bruno? Personally I think we as a society should have moved past these hashtag labels a long time ago, but if I were a betting man? I’d say the Madrigals are going to split the voters and we’ll get the winner we deserve, the venerable J.K. Simmons.

“That’s it for me this evening, stay tuned for the latest headlines on ‘Nightbeat’, and I’ll see you back here bright and early Sunday morning for ‘Mas with Guzmán’. Buenos noches.”

The news program theme music played, and Bruno would have continued mindlessly playing Candy Crush on his phone but-

“You know there’s a rumor you slept with that guy.”

Bruno glanced to his right. Eli was slumped the corner of the couch, smirking, light brown hair tousled and hazel eyes glancing his way with a mischievous twinkle. Bruno scowled.

“You don’t- that’s ridiculous. I can’t help it if people think we had chemistry or there were ‘sparks flying’ in that interview or whatever, but it’s all…fanflick?”

Eli laughed and gently kicked his shin, he retaliated by pinching his knee. “Fanfic, boomer.”

“Everybody really does forget about Gen X,” Bruno muttered, then shook his head. “Anyway. The point is I can’t believe people still think Pulitzer prize winning reporter José Guzmán would risk his journalistic integrity by hooking up with me.”

“Depends.” Eli straightened up to lean closer, waggling his eyebrows. “Is ‘journalistic integrity’ what he calls his-”

“Guys! I’m still right here!” 

They both cringed and glanced over the back of the sofa towards the kitchen, where Mirabel had taken over the island in a flurry of embroidery floss. She’d swiveled around on the barstool to give them a glare, but a smile still tugged at the corner of her mouth.

“Sorry.”

“Sorry, Mira.”

She nodded, satisfied. “Thank you.” A moment or two slipped by, a perfect pause, before she went on. “But you totally did hook up with him, right?”

Bruno blinked, turned back to the TV, and picked up the remote. “I am changing the channel. It’s a metaphor for changing the subject.”

Shortly after that Mirabel presented him with a baseball cap emblazoned with “#TeamCamilo”, and a black necktie which she’d decorated with symbols representing all of the Madrigal family…and a blue, pink, and white striped heart for Eli. Bruno happily wore both on the Emmys red carpet two nights later.

*

A/N: he did totally hook up with him. Celebverse!José is basically Anderson Cooper. Yes he does get stuck doing New Year's Eve with Andy Cohen still, it's fine. As for who wins the Emmy, it's been almost two years and I am still not sure.

[allycat75]

Happy April Fool's Day, Boston Dumb Fuck! But then it is no longer just a day for you anymore, is it?

You really gave it the office over the past few years, haven't you? Made a joke of your life, your family, friends and fans and look at where it has gotten you.

In honor of this most sacred of days, let's take a quick look back down Untrustworthy Lane, shall we?

You saying you loved love in your SMA article, then taking this massive dump on it. That was awesome!

Also saying you hated yourself in the same SMA article. Too bad no one close to you believed you or intervened. Maybe this mess could have been avoided

Your then fake girlfriend, now fake wifey, crashing the Thanksgiving family celebration at Disney World, where you pretended to be creepy niece-creepy uncle. I am sure your family laughed and laughed at that one

Tried to convince us jump scares were cute beyond brothers and could be easily staged

Also thought it would be fun to hide a misogynistic snuff film behind a dumb chin puppet video

Tried to trick us into thinking being good at Mario Cart was a noteworthy feat, and being bad at it was worthy of derision

Proved Valentine's Day is a joke by releasing a few handfuls of unflattering photos, plus some obvious photshop fails and even 2 or 3 photos that had absolutely nothing to do with the day of forced love. The joke was on you, however, since all that accomplished was to murder so many lady-boners it doomed you to only finding pleasure in your own hands, or perhaps a realistic fleshlight, for the foreseeable future. But you are a big "alone guy" so that should suit you well!

Extending this shameful stunt to the "Ghosted" premiere. That was a double whammy- the little racist, clout chasing twit thinking she was going to walk the red carpet and Ana and Dexter thinking they could save that festering turd of a movie from further embarrassment. Are they still talking to you after that prank?

Orchestrating two ghost kinda ceremonies using only vague descriptions of locations and pictures from family and friends in the vicinity of possible kinda locations, including a very real and special birthday party for a young lady that was probably ruined, but all in the name of a fun manipulation, right? Pepper in some online quotes about getting mentored by RDJ (he's doing a bang up job, by the way), as well as a line in the online version of the disaster of all disaster interviews in GQ, (that if people truly cared, would have put a 5150 hold on you and your dissociated life) and voila! Sham marriage complete.

Continuing with the joke-in-and-of-itself ASP. I mean, having a discussion on antisemitism where your guest chides those who normalize this behavior, just as you shove that poison ring in the camera, symbolizing the unholy union between you and the Nazi wifey. Great job, man!

Almost as good as you wearing the colors of the Nazi flag for your red carpet debut with your charming anti-semetic "bride", fake kisses and all

The best jest, however, was you not even getting to catch up with your more successful friends at the Vanity Fair party because you and that prize woman of yours were shuffled off immediately to the pick up line to be taken home, alone to your fleshlight

But you should be used to not getting into parties. There was the pathetic loitering in front of the CAA and UTA pre-Oscar bashes, but the best prank on yourself had to be the SNL Christmas party, where the wifey recreated the bratty niece look from the first pap walk and you tried to drive a wedge between one of your best friend's marriages (at least Colin has gotten in some good jabs at you on the show), all while the two of you probably were hid away in a dimly lit basement room for 20 minutes, then let out a back door to go home, alone to your fleshlight. And Alec Baldwin and his wife were actually invited. That's gotta hurt!

And just recently being called a "car enthusiast". More subtle than some of your other hoaxes, but still hilarious!

Now I don't know if you signed onto this because of duress or the promise of something great (hopefully not the Gene Kelly movie, because that was never going to fly- that was another trick on you, and even if it was miraculously offered to you, after this, it would not be a good look playing a male chauvinist who preferred young women).

I am sure you have had your fun, but let's hope this time next year you will have long hung up the jester's hat and become a real life boy!

[gingerbeardmansim]

A few days later after Ace and Beck discussed Uncle Oscar's offer regarding his properties, Ace gave him a call back.

OSCAR - "Well, Hey there kid! So, did I perk you and your husband's interests?

ACE - "Yeah, well his interests, but we want to come out there and look at the properties."

OSCAR - "I am lounging out on the ocean right now sipping some tequila. I am out here in Sulani for a little getaway, so maybe in a few weeks? How does that sound?"

ACE - "Sounds good. I got a question, Uncle Oscar."

OSCAR - "Sure kid, what's that?"

ACE - "Why isn't Oscar Jr. taking the properties over?"

OSCAR - "Do you remember your cousin, kid? OJ hasn't worked barely a day since he graduated High School. You and Beck come on out to my place in a few weeks and see what you think. I have a tequila sunrise waiting for me over here right now. I will call you once I get back to town."

Uncle Oscar got off the phone and looked over the beautiful ocean. He thought to himself that he may need to tell his son his plans of selling the properties. But he knew OJ would feel he was entitled to them, and he wouldn't make one damn simoleon off of his properties that way.

[majoringinsarcasm]

“V9 was filler because nothing changed about Ruby or Jaune, she could’ve had her breakdown in Vacuo while the real plot was being fleshed out.”

Ahem

1) Above all else you sound like you hate fun bc V9 was so freaking cool and visually stunning and new and different and weird and wonderful

2) Had Ruby gone to Vacuo right away she would NOT have properly grieved Penny nor would she have had time to vent her frustrations because she is a Leader, capital L, and it’s been 8 volumes of her not addressing her issues or having bursts of anger and then immediately trying to comfort someone else. See V4 when she tries to tell Jaune that Ren and Nora will be fine. He responds “you don’t know that” and we see her smile fade. Her uncle might die and it’s her fault he’s hurt but she’s trying to comfort Jaune. No time for her.

Or in V6 where she just learned the big bad they are fighting seemingly can’t die. She goes to Oscar and makes him feel human she comforts him even though she’s no doubt flipping out inside. And then later when she smashes the bottle to wake Qrow up she is visually upset that he’s passed out drinking again but she softens and hugs him and offers support.

She has been trying to prove herself since Volume 1. She is the one who tells Jaune that as Leaders they have to put their team first and themselves second and she’s stuck to that rule. She wants to prove that Ozpin making her Leader wasn’t a mistake. With Jaune, it’s similar, he doesn’t ask for help from anyone with his emotions. He’s the golden retriever, the lovable idiot stuck in the tree. He didn’t want to be a team player at all he wanted to be The Hero, someone who didn’t need help, someone who could save his friends instead of being shoved in a locker and moved to safety. He didn’t want to work With them, he wanted to save them all.

And that’s why V9 is so special. For the first time since the series began Ruby Rose “puts herself first”. She’s been lamenting all of her failures she’s been stewing in this hopelessly because she thinks SHE is the issue when that’s not the case.

“What about me?!”

“What happens if I choose me?”

She decides she is Enough, flaws and failed plans and all. She does not need to change into someone else to be better because SHE was never the problem. The world would have fought against whoever came out of that tree and she’s holding her own hand and saying “I will be there for this girl I will grab the weapon she made and I will fight for Myself as well as everyone else. I am worth fighting for.”

And with Jaune, well he got to be The Hero all by himself. He got to be the protector of a group of beings that did what he asked and wanted to make him happy. Who Let Him Help. No one shoved him into a locker, he wasn’t laughed at for making up silly team attack names, he was in charge all by himself. He was selfish but he STILL wasn’t putting himself first at the same time. He was clinging to unhealthy ideals because he was without a team to lean on or even help. He had no one to call him out nobody to keep him level. It’s not until the final battle that he gets to be “the man he’s always wanted to be.”

Jaune is a strategist. He’s good at looking at the whole picture BECAUSE he’s not on the frontlines from the start. He provides perspective and new ideas. In V4 he also plays this role but he’s a bit reluctant. He’s without a weapon and sees at first the role as lesser, but now he’s fully embracing it. He’s from a big family and then had a team he’s not Built to be a lone wolf. He’s built to be with a family, he’s meant to be part of something bigger. After years of being the rusted knight he never changed or got better and THAT was the lesson. He got to play out his ideal and was worse because of it because a hero isn’t what he thought it would be. Or what he wanted it to be.

In the end Ruby still doesn’t call herself a huntress. Somewhat calls her that. In the end Ruby still doesn’t pick that definition for herself, but someone she showed kindness to and helped just because she could called her that. THAT is what makes Ruby a huntress. It’s not just about fighting monsters or even protecting those who can’t protect themselves. It’s about kindness, it’s about love, it’s about patience.

Ruby Rose is a huntress, because SHE embodies what a HUNTRESS should mean, not the other way around. And That is why this finale means everything to me. She’s better than the heroes in the books, and now she gets to save herself along with everyone else.

[ecargmura]

Rereading Pandora Hearts Is A Wild Ride - Volume 1 Review

The reason why my favorite manga is Pandora Hearts is because of how well-crafted the story is. The story has cleverly crafted details sprinkled out throughout the slow beginning that begin to connect once you reach the second half of the story. Once you reach the second half, your mind just short circuits because of the crazy plot twists. I am forever traumatized by the second half of the book. Rereading Pandora Hearts is going to be an absolute wild ride because I already know what happens and all the details that come with each key dialogue. I am going to do my best to not write a 5000 word essay on why I love this manga so much and I’m doing my absolute best to avoid major spoilers. I’ll just give you hints and key points to focus on while reading this amazing ride.

What is Pandora Hearts about? It’s about a fifteen-year-old boy named Oz Vessalius who is celebrating his coming-of-age ceremony that goes down in the dumps when it gets crashed by hooded figures that want to send him to a fictional version of Hell called Abyss because of his sin, which is his very existence. In order to escape Abyss, he meets a girl named Alice who is also a Chain, creatures that dwell in the Abyss. They form a contract and Oz is taken back to the surface where he meets both familiar and unfamiliar faces. Now, Oz is on a journey to help Alice find her lost memories and for an answer on why his sin is his existence.

The first volume is the slow start of this soon-to-be roller coaster ride. The first chapter is the introduction of Oz, his sister Ada, his servant and best friend Gilbert and his uncle Oscar. It’s just character introduction and a bit of world building. Listening to Lacie while read the middle of the first chapter is a wonderful experience. I totally recommend listening to the Pandora Hearts OST while reading the manga.

The manga is a mix of horror and fantasy—which is Mochizuki’s forte. If you thought the monsters from The Case Study of Vanitas are scary, well, I think Pandora Hearts’ monsters are scarier. There are haunted dolls in the first chapter! I don’t like haunted dolls. However, from the first chapter alone, the foreshadowing of Oz’s sin is already hinted at. He meets an illusion of Alice who says that he has come back and that he has always came to her room. If you know what Oz’s sin is…well, the that dialogue is already triggering war flashbacks for me.

What I liked about chapter one is essentially the character and world building. The setting is unique. Also, if you did not know, the entire manga has elements of Alice in Wonderland sprinkled into it. I love Alice in Wonderland, so this manga is right up my alley. I think my excitement for what’s to come is stemmed from the fact that I am rereading this.

The second chapter has the crazy action sequences from Black Rabbit/Alice’s formal appearance to Oz being sent down to the Abyss. The introduction of Break and Sharon are a game changer as they are important characters. We also see what a coming of age ceremony is like and how people younger than fifteen cannot attend and what it does. Too bad it got cut short. The hooded figures are a terrifying bunch as they possess Gilbert in order to sabotage the ceremony.

This chapter brings about a tension that the first chapter did not have. What saddens me the most was that no one was at Oz’s side during the events. Gilbert was mainly possessed and protected an enemy from Oz’s sword. Oscar was MIA. All Oz had was the Black Rabbit defending him and it still wasn’t enough. I do love Oz’s character as someone who does fight back despite being a young noble boy. Oz is such a good protagonist. I love him so much. I also hated the scene where Gilbert got slashed by Oz to defend the enemy. Man, Gilbert did not deserve that at all. My sweet baby boy… Also, keep an eye on the hooded figures. They’re important later on. Another key point to keep an eye on is Alice’s appearance. She appears before Oz and his adversaries saying that he belongs to her. Keep an eye on her possessive dialogue. 

The third chapter is basically Oz’s time in the Abyss. It’s not a pleasant place to be in. Creepy Chains are everywhere. Oz meets Alice who isn’t a pleasant person to be with, but she’s still earnest. Oz gets lied to by a Chain by pretending to be Sharon. It’s like Hell in a way. In order to escape the Abyss and to protect Alice, he forms a contract with her. 

My favorite aspect of the third chapter is the comedic placement. A serious scene like Oz meeting Alice and calling her the ‘girl who molested me’ ended him getting kicked in the face by her comedically. The comedic timing reminds me a lot of Fullmetal Alchemist (Hiromu Arakawa is one of Mochizuki’s influences). I think the impromptu comedic aspects lightens the mood from going too edgy and I like that. The bond Oz and Alice formed after their bickering starts a chain of warmth that made me realize why I love this manga so much. Oz and Alice’s relationship is a very special one that I cannot say right now, but it’s a wonderful bond that will solidify as time goes by. Also, props to Sharon for rescuing Oz. Man, she is such an underrated character. Also, keep a close eye on why the Black Rabbit chain looks the most human of the bunch you see in Abyss.

Chapter four tells of what happened after Sharon rescued Oz and he is taken back to the surface. Break and Sharon look the same, so it’s unknown how much time have passed since the ceremony. Break has him under arrest. Break is associated with an organization called Pandora. Pandora researches the Abyss and since Oz got out, he needs to be arrested and researched. Alice gets in the way of the arrest—it turns out that she has escaped with Oz by hiding in his body. Alice is desperate and hostile because of her goal: to find her lost memories. After seeing a vulnerable side to her, Oz decides to help her out as he has a goal too: to find out what his sin truly is.

I love that the end of this volume established a goal for Oz and Alice, the heroine also has a goal. I do love how the atmosphere of the surface world does seem mysterious because of the unknown time frame that happened from the ceremony to his current time at the estate. It also makes you wonder if the surface world really is reality for Oz. Also, Alice is a riot and I love her a lot. The way she changed from violent to vulnerable to haughty in the same chapter is both funny and a bit sad in a way. All this girl wants to find her memories. Break is also the best character of the entire manga, but he’s not my favorite. Break gets the plot rolling as he makes Oz a member of his staff. Xerxes Break will always be the coolest character. Also, keep an eye on all of the characters you see in this chapter because they’re important.

I know this review is a lot different from my reviews of the Tales of Zestiria manga and Witch Hat Atelier because of the fact that I already know everything that happens. Also, Pandora Hearts is a story that you cannot just review from an overall perspective; it’s a story that you have to dig into chapter by chapter because it all connects together after a certain point, hence why I did just that. I did my absolute best to give out my thoughts for each chapter and key points to keep an eye on. Please let me know if this helps you understand the soon-to-be complexness of the manga.

Because I’m fucking biased, this volume is an instant 5/5. It’s a good start to the soon-to-be chaos. If you’re curious, I highly recommend this manga to anyone wanting a good fantasy manga read. I assure you, you will NOT be disappointed. THE ART IS PRETTY TOO! LOOK AT THE COVER! I also have Mochizuki’s first art book which I would love to review once I get the chance.

When will this wonderful manga get a new anime? I’m waiting. I will make live reaction videos if a new anime ever gets announced.

[collectingsparechangemadeeasy1]

A Reunion Long Overdue

I am very excited about this one! I’ve wanted to write this part for awhile! Hope you like it uwu!

1 year and 2 months he’s been living with Glynda. 1 year and 2 months… Oscar was nearly two. So much had changed in what sounded like a long time, but felt like a moment. But today… Today felt like years. Because he was waiting for someone. Or rather, someone’s. Today he was going to see his family again after a decade. A whole decade… How much has changed? How much was different now? Would he even recognize his brothers or his fathers anymore?

He shook his head and rubbed a damp cloth on Oscar’s cheek, cleaning away breakfast. He smiled faintly, this little one had brought so much light into his life. Light he didn’t even realize was missing.

“Well aren’t you a messy little mister?” he chuckled, picking up the bouncing baby boy and kissing his cheek.

“Are you seriously still in your pajamas?” a familiar teasing voice asked, and Ozpin chuckled.

“Maybe. Don’t want my day cloths to be all messed up by mr.GottaThrowAllMyBabyFood over here. Is that ok with you Glyny?” he asked, a fake pout on his lips.

Glynda snorted and rolled her eyes, bumping his shoulder as she passed. “Never call me Glyny, and get changed. Your family is gonna be here any minute.”

Right… family. Could he even call them that? 10 years and 3 months apart, he’d missed so much, he knew so little about their lives after all. Glynda had been only his friend growing up, she knew his brothers of course, but was never as close to them. So when he’d left, she’d told him that contact had dwindled. She would help them search, but she stopped after 3 years. They… they never did.

He’d been shocked to hear that. They NEVER stopped looking for him. For 10 years. He really didn’t deserve them… Did he?

He shook his head of the thoughts and headed to the guest room Glynda had been letting him stay in. “What do you wanna wear today little manticore?” he asked his son. Oscar babbled a bit, but Oz was able to make out “ion” and “usie”. Which meant lion onesie! Heh, he was so smart.

“One lion onesie coming up! Maybe your adorableness will help me not get absolutely destroyed by your uncles!” he chirped, all smiles and coos with Oscar. The little one giggled and clapped his hands happily. “Keep that up and we’re home free honey!”

Oscar was far less fussy about getting dressed today, which was both thankful, and not thankful for. Thankful because it was always good when Oscar was relaxed and happy, not thankful because if Oscar was fussy… he might be able to get out of this whole mess. But no dice there, just a few buttoned up buttons, a cute lion hood, and a slow trudge to his own little wardrobe to get dressed. He hummed as he looked at the clothes. “What do you think, little manticore? Should I go for casual “Oh it’s been so long, great to see you!” or formal “It’s been years and I want to make a good impression”? Maybe a dress?” Oscar just babbled unhelpfully, chewing on his teething ring Oz had carved for him. Ozpin sighed with a fond smile, looks like he was on his own. ”Maybe a new style entirely. I wear black and red and gray too much. Maybe something lighter… a real “Hey I’m a nice guy now” vibe. …A sweater vest would be a one way street to teasing, rather not give them more ammo…” About an hour later Glynda came up to find the poor guy face down on the floor, Oscar giggling on his back, the entire wardrobe scattered on the floor. “Wow.”

“I don’t know what to weeeeear!” he moaned, “Everything is either too fancy, not fancy enough, too dark or too light, or makes me look weird!”

“Do you think you might be, oh I don’t know, over thinking this?” she asked, kneeling next to him and poking his cheek. “Just wear something comfortable.” He looked up at her with previously unseen tears in his eyes, “No! I have to wear something good! Something that shows I’m changed! Something that-that-” Glynda petted his hair with uncommon tenderness, “Ozzy, it’s ok. They’ve loved you for all these years. They’ve been looking for you for all this time. I don’t think wearing the wrong outfit is going to change that.”

He let out a small sob and leaned into her hand, “I’m… I’m scared Glyn… It’s been so long.”

She smiled softly, “I know Ozzy, I know. But you have to face that fear and tell it fuck off!”

That got a little warbly laugh from the man, “R-right, just gotta tell it to fuck off!”

“That’s the spirit!” she laughed, picking up Oscar and letting Oz sit up. “Now… get dressed and come down stairs. You’re family’s here.”

A few minutes later, Ozpin came down, he wore a green, brown, and beige patchwork sweater, a white t-shirt, and brown pants with white shoes. He was holding Oscar close, like he was a teddy bear that was going to protect Oz from the monster in the closet.

The scene was an achingly familiar one, even if so much had changed. Ozma, Diggs, his dad and his papa, all gathered around the table with Glynda, chatting and teasing each other. Ozma was noticeably older, laughter lines around his eyes, his hair was longer and he could see some gray streaks here and there. Diggs had his marshmallow white hair tied back in a ponytail, he had the same laugh lines, and a large burn scar on his cheek that hadn’t been there before.

But then there were his parents… They looked so much older than Oz remembered them. His dad, Ozymandias, had a beard now, it was groomed well, but it, along with his long chestnut hair, was streaked with gray. His face was more wrinkled, worry lines in his forehead, crows feet, age lines around his mouth… And the way he sat, more hunched, when Oz always remembered him sitting tall and proud, perfect posture he’d instilled in his sins. His papa, Ambrosius, was as handsome as ever, but his face held the same signs of age as his dad. His short dark blue hair was now speckled with silver, his bright golden eyes seemed dimmer. He also seemed more demeur than he used to be, no longer the life of the party so to speak.

Ozpin took all of this in as he stepped into the proverbial lion's den, sitting next to Glynda, keeping her between him and his family. The conversation had died, and Ozpin didn’t know what to say. What could he say? It had been a decade since he ran from them, without so much as a note… He looked away from his family's eyes that bore into him, scrutinizing him, judging him. He held Oscar a little closer, trying to keep the shaking in his hands from being noticed.

He only looked up again when he heard someone stand, his dad, he was still so regal, so kingly, even after all these years. Even with his aging body, he held an air about him, powerful and worthy of respect without demanding it. His expression was unreadable, and he moved slowly towards Oz, almost like the silvernette was a scared wild animal who may bolt at any moment.

Ozpin stayed still, feeling very much like said scared animal, especially when Glynda gently took Oscar from his hold. He stared up at his father, still taller than him by quite a bit. He looked into those aged green eyes, and his knees nearly buckled from under him when he saw that same familiar warmth, that same familiar love, not dimmed or lessened in the slightest.

“Dad…” he breathed, eyes welling up as his throat caught with a painful lump.

It seemed that was all the older man needed though, as he quickly embraced Ozpin, holding him tight to his chest like so many years ago. Ozpin let out a sob as he quickly returned the embrace, gods how he’d missed this. He hadn’t realized how much he missed his dads hugs, so strong and warm, making him feel like nothing could hurt him so long as his dad was there.

“Dad!” he whined, holding him tighter, wetting his shirt with tears. “Dad!” “Shh, thaur noo sweetheart. yoo’re awe rite.” his fathers low rumbling voice, his accent thick as ever. The sound just made him sob harder, he missed that sound so much, he missed hearing him tell stories, missed teasing him about his accent, missed hearing him sing old songs from his youth. He’d missed his dad.

Another body joined the hug, warmer and softer, but no less powerful. His papa, the kind, silly, exuberant, always the first with a joke or to tell a highly animated story. He’d hold them when they cried, be silly to make them laugh, he was always first to go into papa bear mode when Oz or his brothers were threatened. He was the best at scaring away bad dreams, always telling them that “Monsters are too scared of me to come anywhere near this place!” And it always made him feel better.

He held both as best he could, sobbing into them as he felt his brothers join the hug. He cried out in grief, all the years he’d missed, all the pain he’d caused, and yet they still loved him. They still came to him when called, they still held him so tight, they still cried with him, murmuring about how they loved him, how they were so happy they finally found him.

It took nearly an hour of crying, hugging, and gentle words before everyone finally calmed down enough to separate and sit down to actually talk. Oz took Oscar back and kissed his little cheek, he smiled softly at the little bundle of joy in his arms. “Everyone…” he said softly, voice raspy from all the crying, “This is Oscar, my son.”

(translation of Ozmynadias line just in case: “Shh, there now sweetheart. You’re alright.”)

[joemarta]

A look at John Williams

John Williams. This name for many people paints a picture of soaring string melodies, brilliant brass fanfares, and vivid imagery coming alive through his music. For those of you who don't know who I am speaking of, John Williams is known for iconic soundtracks to many movies, including Star Wars, Jaws, Schindler's List, and many more classics. Now one may think that a musician of this classical caliber may have a certain type of upbringing or influences, but it may not be what you expect. 

Williams grew up right across the river in Floral Park, New York, to a family filled with musical talent. Growing up in New York alone allows one to have access to some of the most incredible music scenes on the planet, but pair that with an already musical family, and you get one of the greatest film scorers and composers of the past 100 years. New York is home to some of the biggest orchestras, such as the New York Philharmonic, and also home to famous jazz clubs such as Bigs and the Blue Note. Although he is currently known for his soundtracks and classical works, his familial talent lies in other fields. His father was a well known jazz percussionist, as well as some of his uncles. Growing up Williams learned trombone, trumpet, and piano. Coming from such a jazz oriented family, he studied a lot of jazz piano, and made a small ensemble of his own. When entering college, he decided to change his career choice towards becoming a classical pianist as well as a composer. This is where we start to see the John Williams we know. He’s changing from the jazz oriented musician, and shifting gears to a more classical focus. Like many music students, he suffered a bit from the sounds of a practice room. Imagine being in a building that has dozens of rooms, filled with the future Mozarts, Yo-Yo Ma’s and Kenny DeCarlo’s of the world. Hearing all these crazy future stars, he decided to really hone in on his composition and accompaniment piano skills. While in college at Julliard, he was drafted into the Air Force and given the responsibility of creating music for the military bands. Upon returning to the states he finished college and moved onto the next part of his life, where we get even closer to the Williams that we love and know today.

John Williams became what is called a studio musician. These individuals are highly talented musicians that perform for soundtracks and professional recordings of media. He played on films such as To Kill a Mockingbird and Peter Gunn. These opportunities presented him with the idea of composing music for films, which is where we have the Williams that we love and know today. His fame in the movie industry is almost unparalleled, but there is another side to him that not a lot of people know about. John Williams acknowledges that he is older, and unfortunately does not have a lot of time left with us, and decided to mostly retire as a film composer. In an interview with the New York Times,  he states that “Six months of life at my age is a long time”, which is an unfortunate truth. But do not fret, the mastermind is still creating more music, but has shifted to a more classical scene with orchestral and solo works. 

Personally, I am a huge fan of Williams' new works, but many people in the classical world are on the fence. This is where I am going to let out a little bit of my frustrations with the institution that is the classical music world. So many people and orchestras are stuck in the past and will not play new works. Many composers such as myself fight for very few chances to have your orchestral piece played once and then have it be lost to time. The ensembles would rather play old standards than try something new, in most cases. (Rutgers is pushing to have at least one newer orchestral piece per concert!). John Williams is writing incredible new works, such as his 2021 piece, Overture to the Oscars, a piece reminiscent of Gustav Holsts, Jupiter. But, this piece might only get played once, because of the culture in the orchestral world.

Another aspect working against him is that of the classical world having a lack of respect for the film world. I feel like a lot of composers want to push the boundaries of music and lack tonal centers, which quite frankly makes the music less friendly to the ear. There is a reason why classical music progressively faded out of popularity, and it is because it stopped lacking a singable theme. The songs that stay popular and at the forefront of society are ones that people can sing. Find a random person on the street and ask them to sing Jaws, or Star Wars, or Hooked on a Feeling. They can do it because it has a discernable and memorable melody. John Williams does this so much. He represents characters and places with themes, so when that music comes on, the viewer subconsciously knows what is going to happen. For whatever reason, this is looked down upon in the classical world, including some of our very own professors at Rutgers. They would argue that their music has themes and patterns, and which yes it does. But the music and patterns they follow are not particularly memorable, or singable, which is the key difference here. Now I would like to expand upon that this is mostly happening in the orchestral world. In band music, new works are encouraged and are preferred. We have the standards that are played, but many new pieces are also played. There is a reason why I am having 5 different band pieces premieres this semester, and literally no new orchestral pieces being played. I would really like to see Williams venture into the band world, because I think that bands would eat it up and love it. 

Overall, I think that John Williams is making a good move by just writing music to write music and not worrying about deadlines. It allows his true voice to show, and we can see how he developed from where he once was as a jazz pianist to the composer he is now. I think that the culture of the orchestral music world will have to change for Williams concert music to thrive. 

[phillipcole]

Post-AGT Appearance 1292: Up Front WNRI 1380 am March 13

Some people would be a little unhappy that I violated protocol by revealing that Brian Mulroney was not the last name on Phillip's list with that interview. My agent would have selectively distributed highlights of that interview to increase my international fame. With the essential contracts completed I would have gone home to Nevada for the dry air.

Man of my Dreams would have been 24th the last 3 weeks. Toad woman of Tennessee would have reached $235 million last weekend. My wife would have won the Oscar for costume design but not quoted me. She would have found out what an EGOT is and came home thinking we were halfway there. I would have to explain that I won the Grammy and she won the Oscar so each of us was one fourth of the way there.

Haley really did win Washington D.C. and Vermont. She would also have won Massachusetts last week. Burgum would have won Oklahoma, Colorado, Utah and Alaska, however Trump would have won all 4 primaries on March 12, Washington state closest: 42-35 over Burgum. Biden would have won everywhere except Hawaii, where None of the Above would have won 56-40.

Ron St. Pierre was a talk radio host in Rhode Island for decades. Few people know that, but people in Rhode Island would have suspected he might be the last name on Phillip's list. When they learned of his death Tuesday afternoon some would ask my relatives in the area and my uncle's widow would have called me. I would have prepared a statement and called my agent. We would have released it everywhere Wednesday morning at 8 am. The first to quote me would be Roger Bouchard on the Up Front program that runs 8 to 9 am Wednesday on WNRI am 1380 in Woonsocket. He would start the program with it.

Bouchard: Before we get to today's guests we have breaking news. Many of you know that Rhode Island legendary talk show host Ron St. Pierre passed away yesterday at age 68. Well, just now off the wire entertainer Phil Cole, whose career began when he was living right here in Woonsocket, made the following statement. I quote:

PBC: Ron St. Pierre was not the last name on Phillip's sick list, but no one who bet that he was should lose money. It was one of the best guesses ever. When Phillip was trying to revive his radio career he contacted Ron St. Pierre and lost to the criminal Buddy Cianci. It's been all downhill for Rhode Island ever since.

Bouchard: No doubt that will be a topic of conversation on this station all day.

[fivekrystalpetals]

My thoughts for Retrace XLVII - Retrace XLVIII

Okay, so after these two chapters, I had a sudden realization that Oz is actually super smart. To say, I knew he was smart but to ad-lib or basically bullshit his way into the mansion in the possession of an influential guy from a neighboring country is just... wow lol.

I was cheering for him all along because he really, efficiently managed the whole Isla Yura business all by himself. The very reason everyone got to get into his secret castle was Oz. Isla Yura, being a person of another country, meant Pandora can’t even have a seize-and-search sort of warrant either.

The plan went something like this—

a. Jack Vessalius No.1 fan, Isla Yura would extend an official invitation to Oz to visit his mansion (where they suspect the third seal is hidden) if he brings out his inner Jack from within him.  

b. Oz does a perfect personification of Jack and recites a poem he had memorized from the papers given by Ryatsu (hold on, this means they had really formed a cult revolving around Jack??? I wasn’t wrong?!) Even their emblem is based on the description in the poem. 

I believed it was Jack, okay? I really believed Jack had popped out when Oz tried to stab himself. But then—

—he got me good grrr! I love his expressions here, and yes, Rufus Barma you too did your part (sigh he is needy for attention lol)

c. But the next problem is that only Oz has been invited to the mansion and he needs to get everyone in there so that they can hunt for the Seal together. A problem which he once again handles resourcefully. Well it isn’t exactly a lie that his first Coming-of-Age ceremony had been interrupted by the Baskervilles and that he never got to the end. 

d. Isla Yura offers to organize the second Coming-of-Age ceremony at his mansion (for his own purposes too ofc) 

e. annnnd Mission Complete!

I had the same expression as Gil here lmao—

2] When Alice sniffed at Elliot, my first thought had been—ooooh, more evidence for my Elliot being next Glen theory???

(unfortunately that theory is debunked now ofc) but this too was quite a bit of foreshadowing.

It’s a neat detail that Alice, a chain, could detect the presence of an illegal chain inside Elliot that he himself was unaware of; however, she couldn’t place it right away (had she figured it out earlier, could the tragedy have been avoided, I wonder? But the hand will continue to move whether they like it or not, right? Maybe, they could have killed Humpty-Dumpty before the hand moved back to the starting point? idk. Just me still sad that this too-precious-for-this-world boy was to meet with such an end *flips table and jumps out of the window*)

3] What a beautiful picture!

Somehow it makes me more worried about what’s coming up for them for the future :(( already one down, ten to go lol 

Oz is the only one smiling properly at the camera; Gil and Alice bickering as usual. Sharon wants Alice to call her Mom Big Sis. Break is trying to act cool and failing. Reim, smile properly at the camera, what’s with that :> smile lol? Uncle Oscar has adopted the entire town by this point, I am sure. Somebody pat Echo's head please! Elliot, cut out your tsundere act and join the others!

Well, let me end this small post with this picture of Elliot and Oz nostalgic fist bump TT_TT me sobbing over all the what-could-have-been-s

[rarermonsters]

Title One

Title Two

Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying. Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. I am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich. And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast. Heart attack never stopped old Big Bear. I didn't even know we were calling him Big Bear. We never had the chance to. I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts.

WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON. Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. And don't make the water too hot. The scabs come right off. I am going to my spin class. I thought you had vertigo. It seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb.

Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we. Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne.

It's a jetpack, Michael. What could possibly go wrong? Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me or is she looking hotter? Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging. Great, now I'm gonna smell to high heaven like a tuna melt! I made a huge tiny mistake. If mother sees this, she will blow a cow. George Michael, you want to put your head down there by his drainage shunt? I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings?

Fried cheese… with club sauce. We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother." No, let's try to top that. (They never did.) Let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings?

He… she… what's the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same. Early. Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay!

Go ahead, touch the cornballer. Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. Go ahead, touch the cornballer.

Let's see some bananas and nuts! I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? Heyyyyy, hermano. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a… she's the belle of the ball! Perhaps an attic shall I seek.

I'm sure Egg is a great person. Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can't just comb that out and reset it? OH MY GOD, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE… sale. Oh, the burning! ♪♪ Amaaaaaaziiiing Graaaace ♪♪ The CIA should've just Googled for his hideout, evidently. I don't want no part of yo' tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch!

The only person that gets Lucille this excited is Gene. Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. It's a jetpack, Michael. What could possibly go wrong? I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion. Come on, this is a Bluth family celebration. It's no place for children. ♪♪ And the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting. Sky rockets in flight! Afternoon delight! ♪♪

[sweatproof-spandex]

I dreamt about pancakes and now I'm really hungry

Also thinking about surnames for some reason. Like, the Japanese way of putting the surname first makes more sense to me.

Don't get me wrong, I don't Like it, but surnames used to be descriptors, right? Like, there are too many Johns in the village, so it's like

"John the baker?"

"No, no, Little John."

"Little John? Is he the one married to Mary?"

"Which Mary? Pleasant Mary or Young Mary?"

"Neither, I meant the Thatcher's Mary. Young Mary's married to Butcher Tom, and I think Pleasant Mary is married to David's son, Henry."

It always feels more natural to put the descriptor first, and whenever we don't, there are other words involved. "John the Baker" at some point had to become "John Baker"- Where did the 'The' go?

The 'son' names are like that too. I get that people used to be all "I am Derek, Son of Jack", and that must have turned into the more casual "I am Derek, Jack's son", and eventually into "I'm Derek Jackson", but that process makes a lot less sense to me than it maybe should because, I've only heard people do this the other way.

For instance, I have two cousins named Emma (not even by marriage, my uncle just decided to have an Emma after his sister already did), my psychologist when I was in therapy was called Emma, and I had a college friend named Emma as well. And if I want someone to know who I'm talking about, the descriptor is usually still first.

I'll say "Mary's Emma", not "Emma, Mary's Daughter", and this is true of anyone. I hear the format "Oscar's Tim", "Sarah's Jack" "My Peppa" AAAAALL the time, and almost never hear the "Ted, Bob's son" format even when we add in synonyms like "Frank, Donna's boy" or "Steve, John's lad" or "Shelly, the Briar's kid"

And the other Emmas aren't any different. I'll say "Runshaw Emma" (the name of my college) most of the time, Maybe I'd say "Emma from Runshaw", but in what world would I shorten that to "Emma Runshaw"?? Similarly, I'd say "Psychologist Emma", not "Emma the psychologist", and certainly not "Emma Psychologist" (That wasn't a job in the olden days but job names are a Huge portion of all our current surnames. Replace it with Smith or Baker and you'll see what I mean. If I don't know someone's surname (and we're talking about how we Gained surnames in the first place so, no-one had them yet) it's way more likely that I'd say "Baker Joe" than "Joe Baker". Maybe I'd say "Joe, The Baker." but, again, if people did this, where did the 'The' go?)

It's just, when the descriptors go first, which usually feels far more natural to me, it makes sense as to how these things could become surnames that precede one's own personal name. But when they Follow the first name, it means at some point we decided to ignore grammar and just Drop all the 'the's and 'of's and 'from's, and like.. WHY would we do that?? How did that happen??

[mo0n-water]

hello hello, sorry that it’s been so long :( i’ve missed you.

i will hear the song if it’s the last thing i do 🥸 what’s it called? what’s the first lyric?

what book is it? why is it your favourite? summarise it in three words?

i hope you allow yourself to be a child sometimes. growing up so quickly must be tough.

nostalgia is my hamartia, i’m very stuck in the past, whether it is good or bad. also my great aunt has the most beautiful house, i’d love to live there when i’m older but it’ll probably go to the other side of the family. we can hope :)

i don’t really have any definitive life goals. i’m more of a live and let live kind of person, what’ll happen will happen and i shan’t waste time fretting about it. but i would like to own lots of cats when i’m older and have the village i live in suspect me of being a witch. i think that’d be fun.

i love people who talk a lot and are passionate about things they are interested in. there is nothing i enjoy more than listening to someone ramble on about a historical event i’ve never heard of or a movie i’ll never see. my best friend is very much a talkative person and i think that’s why we get on so well.

how many people can come to my party? i would probably invite: my two best friends, david bowie, regulus black, frida kahlo, oscar wilde, amy winehouse, boris pavlikovsky (from the goldfinch), my great great uncle who’s existance no one knew about until a few weeks ago (he had a very interesting life) and you :) i think we’d all have some very interesting conversations.

my favourite quote is ‘i don’t know. poets are always taking the weather so personally. they’re always sticking their emotions in things that have no emotions.’ from the catcher in the rye.

questions for you:

- what are you doing right now?

- are you religious?

- how do you define art?

- do you want to get married? would you marry a friend in a non-romantic way?

- what’s your favourite smell?

- what would you name this chapter of your life?

- are you a responsible person?

- what’s your favourite punctuation mark and why?

HAHA HI!!! i missed you too!! i was telling the jegulily server about how i missed you…… then again, idk who you are, so maybe you saw that. (mysterious music.) anyway i hope you’re well & i mean… didn’t you say you were going to see harry yesterday? so you MUST BE well

re: your song… it’s called counting hours. you’re not gonna find it online but maybe i’ll send it to you if/when you tell me who you are. (not holding it hostage, i just don’t wanna post it publicly hahaha!! first line is “spent the early hours of june reading quotes from whitman” i guess you don’t know what that has to do with you, but the rest of the song is… a little more obvious xx

the book is looking for alaska! i think i mentioned it before. i like how it explores grief and unanswerable questions, as well as how it talks about growing up. for three words, i don’t know, i’d maybe say “famous last words” :)

you definitely seem like the type of person one would mistake for a witch. and believe me, that is the highest of compliments coming from me. and about nostalgia, YEAH. yeah. G-d yeah. i feel like nostalgia rules my life sometimes, but i don’t really mind that? i was talking with my dad about that recently, about trying to recreate old memories & bring the past back. i think there’s something beautiful about that.

i like the live & let live philosophy. i think it makes for an interesting life. my favorite kinds of people are the ones who aren’t afraid to do something unexpected, to seek out new opportunities & go on adventures. a change of plans is my favorite thing. have you always been like that, or is your decision to embrace that a new thing? (i am ignoring your use of the word shan’t, lest i make a fool out of myself in my own tumblr post…)

listening to people ramble is a secret favorite of mine. i have a friend who’s really into films, & i love to get him ranting about his favorite plot lines & all that cinematography stuff that i don’t understand. i don’t even like movies! but i like listening to him talk about them. what’s something you like to ramble about like that?

i like your quote & i like your dinner party. i question how wise it is to invite boris, given he’d probably derail the whole thing… but i suppose that’s the whole point, and what makes it fun. consider this my rsvp! i think regulus, bowie, & boris would either be best friends or sexy rivals. can’t decide, but i’m here for it. also, your great great uncle?? i would love to hear the story there.

right now, i’m sitting on a porch swing & thinking about you. the temperature is perfect out here, humid enough to feel like a hug without descending into something more like a chokehold. i keep getting distracted & staring at the daylilies across the road. i was sitting in the living room before, but my parents were talking so i stepped out here to focus on writing this. after, i think i’ll play guitar for a bit – i was working on something earlier that i’d like to continue.

yes, i am religious! i’m a religious jew, which i think i’ve probably mentioned before because i honestly don’t shut up about it. it’s shabbat today, & i actually just got back from an event at synagogue. it was a pride event more than a religious thing, though – i convinced the rabbi to go out in drag, which was fucking brilliant honestly. anyway, judaism is easily one of the most important things to me. how about you? i always worry it’s rude to ask but i love talking about faith.

okay i had a conversation about defining art a few months ago & it just about broke my brain… genuinely it was in like january but i still don’t have an answer, no matter how much i think about it. i kinda think art is an arbitrary categorization we use to fit human expression into a box, but my opinion there could be changed with a strong wind. help????

i’d definitely like to get married someday, but it’s not a goal i’m working towards or anything… obviously, i think. i’d definitely marry a friend. it all comes down to whether it’s the right person. (if this is an offer, my answer is yes xx)

my favorite smell is rotting wood.

i’d name this chapter of my life “the wandering” because i feel like i’m looking for something, but i’m not sure what it is & i’m not in any rush. taking my time! it feels a lot like wandering.

responsible??? me???????? i suppose it depends on what you mean by responsible. in some regards, sure. in others, not at all. i don’t like the idea of responsibility, though, it feels stifling – i’d rather dedicate myself to things out of love than out of any sense of responsibility. not sure if that makes sense or answers your question.

i like semicolons!! as my best friend can surely tell you… i just feel like they conceptualize my ceaseless need for elaboration. i’m wary of overusing them. but yeah i learned how to use a semicolon in elementary school & i’ve been terrorizing people with them ever since.

as always, i love the questions you pick! some from me:

- what grounds you?

- what’s a feeling you find overwhelming? how do you cope?

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hope to see you in my inbox soon!! kind regards <3

[liberty-barnes]

Just Breathe

Tom Holland x Female!Osterfield!Bisexual!Reader

Summary: Childbirth waits for no one, not even the Oscars.

Warnings: fluuuuuff, pregnant reader, mentions of childbirth, good press articles, BISEXUAL READER WOOOHOOO

Word Count: 1.5k words

Estimated Reading Time: 6 minutes

A/N: heeeeey look @peterspideyy​ @parkersbliss​ that crazy idea i ranted to you about like six months ago finally got done! i can’t believe i did it... this feels too good to be true, is the world gonna end or something?

Masterlist 

"I don't think this is a good idea."

"Me neither."

"Please, just stay here."

You looked up to your brother and husband, frowning as you smoothed your hand over the soft black fabric of your gown.

"I am not missing the Oscars, Tom. I've still got two weeks until I'm due, it'll be fine."

You sat down on the bed and looked dejectedly at your shoes, then proceeded to throw puppy dog eyes your brother's way until Harrison had no choice but to kneel and help you put on your comfortable trainers. There's no way you're putting on your heels at 37 weeks of pregnancy.

"But what if Baby decides to come sooner? You could go into labour at any moment!"

You rolled your eyes and only raised your arms so they could help you out of bed.

"You guys are being over-dramatic. Nothing's gonna happen. We're just going to the Oscars, we'll have a good time, and hopefully, I'll leave with a little statue under my arm."

With that, you waddled out of your hotel room, ready to get into the limo.

---

"(Y/n)! It's so good to see you! You look radiant as always!"

You smiled at Kaitlyn, an interviewer you knew and trusted and rubbed your belly comfortingly. 

"Thank you, I feel like a whale, but Baby'll be here soon so it's worth it."

She smiled and asked you a bunch of questions about your movie and how you were feeling about being nominated for Best Actress.

"But anyway, how far along are you now?"

"I'm a little over 37 weeks, they should be coming soon. Tom and Haz were actually really apprehensive about me coming here since I'm so close to my due date."

She smiled and looked over at the two men, obviously on edge.

"Well, I wish you all the best and I sincerely hope you win."

You hugged her goodbye and posed for a few more pictures before being led inside by your husband.

---

"And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for..."

Everyone watched with bated breath as Brie Larson, last year's winner, got ready to announce who would take home the trophy.

"This year's winner, and taking home the Oscar for best actress in a leading role..."

Tom took your hand and you squeezed it tight, ready to applaud one of the other amazing actresses on their win.

"(Y/n) Holland, for her brilliant performance in Two Sides of the Same Coin!"

You felt like your heart was gonna beat out of your chest, run to that stage, kiss Brie, then promptly burst to flames out of sheer, unadulterated enthusiasm. Tom was hugging you and whispering how much you deserved it while your brother gently guided you to the podium. None of them would ever allow you to go up there on your own. Always one in front of you in case you trip forward and one behind you to catch you if you fall back.

Overprotective much?

As soon as you reached Brie, you hugged her tight (or as tight as you could with a human baby house separating you), taking the award while the two boys hugged her too.

"Holy Louis Tomlinson in a crop top."

The audience laughed, most of them already familiar with your strange One Direction inspired expressions.

"Wow, I didn't actually think I was gonna win this, everyone had such amazing performances. I-It's an honour, really. Two Sides of the Same Coin was a project very near and dear to my heart, so I'd like to thank the amazing Drew Barrymore, who wrote and directed the movie."

The room erupted in cheers and the woman smiled at you from her place on the front row.

"Bisexual representation is something we don't get very often, and when we do, it's always misjudged. So thank you for showing the world what bisexuality really is, and for giving me a chance to live out my dreams of kissing lots of people. This idiot tied me down too soon."

You pointed behind you at Tom, hearing his appalled squeak along with Harrison's guffaw of a laugh. 

In other news, the baby was starting to inconvenience you slightly. Baby had been going crazy since last night (not that you'd tell the boys) and the Braxton-Hicks were killing you, but it only got worse now.

"I'd also like to thank my amazing costars, Zendaya, Bella Thorne, and Owen Patrick Joyner, it was awesome to make out with you all..."

The crowd laughed while you felt something trickle down your legs.

Oh.

OH.

You'll never live this down, that's for sure.

"Uh, before I finish can one of you idiots call the car and get them to come to the exit please and thank you? Now as I was saying-"

"Wait, why?"

You turned to your brother and smiled innocently.

"Oh, my water just broke."

The crowd cheered.

Tom screamed.

Harrison fell to the floor, unconscious.

You sighed.

"New plan, can anyone try to wake my brother while my hus-" 

You looked at Tom, frantically doing small back and forths between you and his best friend, unsure of what to do. 

"-While someone else calls the car because both of them are apparently useless."

"We need to get you to the hospital!"

His terrified scream could be heard all through the room, even with no mic.

"What? No! I need to finish my acceptance speech, then go back to the hotel to shower and maybe take a little nap and then go to the hospital. My water just broke, Thomas, we have time, calm your tits."

You turned back fully to the mic, facing the hysteric faces of the crowd, very entertained by the exchange.

"Now as I was saying, I want to thank the amazing team that worked on this movie, you're all amazing and it was such a good experience. I'd also like to thank my family for always being there for me and supporting me and Haz in our acting careers. Thank you to my brother, even if he's unconscious right now, he'll just watch it on Youtube later, for literally forcing me to go to the audition. And lastly, I'd like to thank my wonderful husband, who hopefully hasn't passed out yet, for always supporting me and being my biggest rock through everything. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to deliver a baby, you know, just normal Saturday night stuff."

---

An Oscar in hand and another... down her legs?

(Y/n) Holland sure gave the Oscars something to be entertained by on this last Saturday. The wife of fellow actor Tom Holland looked radiant in her custom-made Valentino dress, looking ready for a night of fun.

(Y/n) was nominated for this year's Best Actress in a Leading Role award, alongside Meryl Streep, Margot Robbie, Cate Blanchett, and Tessa Thompson, but the Oscar went to her from her brilliant performance in Two Sides of the Same Coin. But it was during her acceptance speech that things got... slippery.

At 37 weeks of pregnancy, the Holland baby was ready to come at any minute, but apparently, theatrics run in the family. The actress was in the middle of her speech when she felt her water break, pausing in her talking to request a car be called.

You'd think her husband, Tom, and brother Harrison Osterfield, overprotective as they are, would be fully prepared! Unfortunately for them, and fortunately for our entertainment, they were not. Harrison went unconscious after hearing the news, dropping to the floor and earning himself a minor concussion, much to his sister's amusement

[image1-harrison-ice-pack.png]

@ynholland: "Don't worry, when you go into labour, I'll be with you every step of the way." Said Harrison Osterfield, then proceeded to pass out, get a minor concussion, and miss the whole delivery.😂 Good job, little bro👍

And just when you thought she couldn't get any better, she finishes her acceptance speech with: "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to deliver a baby, you know, just normal Saturday night stuff." We have no choice but to stan this iconic queen!

But for the news you've all been waiting for, Oscar Robert Holland (yes, the middle name is a homage to Robert Downey Jr. himself, we're not crying, you are!) was born just twelve hours later. Tom let know through a beautiful Instagram picture that he is in fact "perfectly healthy and loved by everyone already".

[image2-tom-and-oscar.png]

@tomholland2013: I present to you, my best creation to this date: Oscar Robert Holland. Thank you all for your prayers and kind messages, our boy is perfectly healthy and loved by everyone already❤️

But of course, Uncle Haz wouldn't stay behind.

[image3-haz-and-oscar.png]

@hazosterfield: Since I know you've all been worried sick and desperate to know how the baby is... I'm doing just fine, it's just a minor concussion :) Oh and my godson's great too.

And just to prove that the Osterfields are indeed the royal family of comedy, we leave with this wonderful picture posted to the happy mum's very own Instagram.

[image4-yn-and-oscars.png]

@ynholland: Guess I was so good they gave two Oscars instead of one ;)

-Written by Kaitlyn Storm

so anyway, Two Sides of the Same Coin is a movie idea i got a while ago and should maybe try to write one of these days but oh well or something. anyway, i’m not gonna rant about it here cause it’d be too long but i hope you enjoyed this and don’t forget to like/comment/reblog if you feel like it!

-Love, Miah

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────» 

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