#i am here 6 days a week and i cannot put any money in my savings. it IS my fuckin paycheck!!

[lavender---sunshine]

Not my boss trying to convince me to deny a 19 year old boys family holiday vacation request and telling me to imagine if it was MY paycheck being docked because he didn't want to work

[roo-bastmoon]

Qobuz & ARMY Conduct in Solo Era

We know we need to buy Like Crazy and Face more to help Jimin avoid free fall on the charts this week. Scroll down to learn how to buy on Qobuz if you haven't already.

It's my understanding that sales count for Billboard charts if you use 1 credit card per digital purchase, 1 credit card for up to 4 physical purchases. Whether or not you can use the same email address is up to each site (BTS US store yes, iTunes no).

Speaking only for myself, for digital purchases, I've made 6 iTunes accounts and bought the singles and albums (and alterative versions) there; I've also purchased all digital versions on Amazon Music and WeVerse and bought Like Crazy off a Stationhead listening party. For physical copies, I have purchased both albums each from Amazon, Target, and Weverse. For all 24 hours of every day, I have 6 premium free trial accounts running playlists on Spotify, YouTube, Apple Music, and Amazon Music.

Puppykitties? I am tired. But it's Jimin, so...

I'm here to tell you about one more option, and then I have to call it a day and just keep streaming on my premium accounts, because I'm maxing out of money and energy.

Qobuz is a digital store that counts for BB100 and it was incredibly easy for me to sign up using my Facebook and purchase Face. I didn't sign up for a streaming service or agree to anything else; I literally just logged in via Facebook and bought the album for download.

Here's the link, have at it:

Remember you need to download each track by clicking on WMA button and letting it play for a few seconds on your device.

Here's what that looks like:

I'm certain you're tired by now and ready to call it a day, but if you can afford another $7 purchase, please buy this digital album one more time on Qobuz if you haven't already. It's easy and a trusted site. If you cannot, please reach out to Jimin USA and Jimin Funds and make a new iTunes account and buy with their gift cards.

Jimin has been dragged up and down stan twitter this week (we knew it was gonna happen no matter what) and now the "ARMY" fans who did nothing to help Face are gearing up to help D-Day* instead, so we really need to do our best to purchase this week and then keep streaming like it's our full-time job.

*A note about Yoongi and D-Day--and how we need to conduct ourselves as ARMY.

I'm OT7. I will get behind every single one of their projects. I can't wait to cheer Yoongi on during his Newark concert. I understand that the boys are releasing content on top of each other because enlistment is coming up soon. I trust the Tannies have agreed to their promotion times and plans. So please do not bring any shade to any member to my blog--I'll boot you.

However, it's very clear to me that almost 40% of this fandom ships a pairing that demonizes Jimin and many simply feel neutral at best about him and do not put in much effort to defend him or support him. Just my observation; maybe lots of fans feel this way about their own bias. I'm simply noticing how big accounts have been damned near radio silent for Face and are already organizing streaming and buying parties for D-Day's prerelease this week.

Add to that how hard we've been working to stream for Jimin, and yet Spotify and YouTube (especially YouTube) are deleting millions of streams every day. I share your pain and frustration over this. I think it's normal to talk about it in the DMs. But let's keep a clean timeline.

For fans of Jimin, we should act in a way that would honor Jimin and make him proud. Please do not whine or dwell on any negativity; do not badmouth a member or those who bias another member or the company they all work for. Definitely do not waste any precious time or energy dogfighting antis online. Please support Yoongi and all the boys as much as you can.

Keep it classy, even if you wish Jimin had more individual promotion time or radio play or more music videos and playlisting or whatever you perceive should have been done differently. It is what it is, and we want our boys to feel supported, not judged.

Despite all the bullshittery, Jimin has done remarkably well and gifted us with an amazing album. Letter alone is enough to keep my heart lit up like a firecracker for a good long time. So please, remember to conduct yourself as a true ARMY, and any injustices you perceive, answer it with rage-buying and rage-streaming.

Meet them in the charts, not the streets.

Now, I have myself a nice little sinus infection blooming into a full grown migraine today, so I'm gonna take a wee break and rest up. But I am around, and usually more active on my TWITTER if you want to be friends there. And I'll be streaming nonstop, you can be assured.

Please do your best my puppykitties. Talk more with you soon.

Love, Roo

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Trouble Of It’s Own

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

=========================

+ Psalm 66:19 But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer."

=========================

VERSE OF THE DAY

========================

+ Matthew 6:34, therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own

=========================

SUBJECT: Trouble Of It’s Own

=========================

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM NOT AFRAID

GOD QUENCHES MY FEARS

GOD IS MY PROVIDER

I AM LISTENING FOR HIS VOICE

 ********************************

THOUGHTS:

=======================

   It is hard not to worry about things coming up or things that could have happened. A lot of times, we worry because of fear sitting in, and what we have to do when this fear sits in is rebuke and deny its power and grip because if we don't, fear will grip us so tightly that we won't know how to handle it.

  Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.

   A lot of times, we think we can handle fear like anything else. Ignore it, but I have experienced fear. If you are not careful, fear will grip you, take over every part of you, and cause you to lose faith in God because that's what fear is supposed to do. The verse tells us not to worry about tomorrow, don't because each day has its troubles; when we allow one fear for one day to carry on to the next day, we add more stress to our life, but each day has its own troubles.

  Trouble never sleeps, but God's power is mighty in pulling down strongholds. God's power is mighty to block any fiery dart of the wicked one; God's power is everything we need to carry us through the day because when we trust God, we do not need to worry; how much do you trust God? yes, I have had experienced it where I was so engulfed in fear that I couldn't trust God because I thought if I give him this fear ,if I give him my hand I might lose control and us losing control is exactly what we must do to give God control over every situation he can’t help us as long as our hand is in it

We must let go so he can handle even our fear , don't let fear carry on until the next day. Handle fear head on and allow God to quench it with his power . We don’t have power over anything , but God do he’s all knowing , all powerful , Do you trust in God ?

 Hebrews 13:5-6 Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?"

     Yes, the word of God says here that I will never leave you nor forsake you; the lord will help us through tomorrow's troubles. Sometimes, we sit up at night, we worry, and we let fear take over, but when we read this verse here, it says, I will never leave you nor forsake you; he said I am a helper; do not fear what man can do, we can't fear what man can do ,we can't take what they say about us and to us and place it in our minds we must always take what they say and rebuke it because what happens is when we allow fear of men to take over we are saying I don't believe in God ,I don't believe in what he says in his word. He clearly states in his word that he is a helper, so don't you think God will help you through any and everything?

   "Matthew 10:28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

   We don't have to worry about tomorrow because God got tomorrow. God has every moment of our lives, and he sees us God is never worried because he knows that we are going to be okay because whatever he brings before us or to us, we will make it because he says I won't leave you to face this world, I won't leave you to deal with this on your own ,I am here always waiting for you, I am here always directing you but we must let him direct our path every day!

 John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."

  The word tells us again that he leaves his word to us, but we must understand everything we will face. He has faced it, and he leaves us in peace. Nothing is done by luck. Everything is done for a reason, but we must trust that through whatever season we are in, we are victorious because of him. We are victorious because of his grace and mercy. God is ready to see us through every problem, but we must be able to say that we know God is going to see us through this situation, my tomorrow, and our fears.

  *** Today, we learned about fear, and we learned how fear can overtake us if we allow it to. When we allow fear in, that spirit isn't going to place nicely; it doesn't help us through anything; it's going to try to make us miserable, make us doubt, make us take our eyes off Christ; that is what fear does. Fear brings other spirits with it to conquer every section of your life.

   Fear isn't something we should be okay with; some people say a little fear is healthy, but it's fear can grow in our mind if we give it power to the point where we are so disabled by it that we will start to lose power and authority because fear can block us from praying ,block our praise, but when we speak to our fear and speak the word over our lives and rebuke the power of fear because it has no power over our lives. When we allow God to come in and conquer our biggest fear, we are saying to God that I trust you; even if I feel insecure and vulnerable, I know you're still going to protect me in my weakest moments. God wants to give us strength at this moment, but we must allow ourselves to go to him; sometimes fear can make our mind go everywhere but to God, but we must ground ourselves in our word and prayer life and allow him to empower us to conquer our fears and tomorrow .©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

========================

PRAYER

========================

Heavenly Father, thank you for today and the strength you have given us; we ask you to quench all the fear in our lives. Lord, we ask you to give us the power to conquer our fears through you. Lord, your word says you don't give us a spirit of fear, so Father, I know the way we are feeling isn't from you; we ask you to remove this and send this back to the pits of hell; it can't stay with us, father we ask you to remove every insecurity and doubt that's in our minds, lord we surrender every and anything unto your power in Jesus Name Amen

========================

REFERENCES

========================

 + Colossians 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”

+ Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”

+ Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

========================

FURTHER READINGS

=========================

 Proverbs 25

Hebrews 12

Judges 11

Leviticus 26

=========================

[sweetswesf]

Check In

What I Did Today

Ordered a waffle; have been craving one for A WHILE...it didn't hit like it was supposed to tho :/ :(

Got a lay of the land of all the things I need to study

Spent my monies on the preps...hopefully I REALLY use them this time...I think I will because I have a better sense of what I need and why, before I wasn't convinced; it means more now

Got hit up by some more people checking in on my wellbeing since they heard about the layoffs in the news, some I ain't heard from in FOREVER

Chatted with my old colleague at the company I want to be at

Meal prepped for most of this week

Finished my 4 hour juicing process; you heard that right...I'm good for the next 3 days, and it's good for me, but it's expensive, both financially and time wise, so also financially...

What I Learned Today

The company I want to work at has NO ON CALL! Hallelujah! They do lowball on offer salary though, so, it's recommended I get a good offer somewhere else so that they can match it

The company I want to be at only goes up to T4 instead of T5 like my last spot, which, still works for me, but, maybe for only the next 2 years?...max...was kinda hoping to go for maybe even a T5 position at my next place, but T4 sounds good, especially since it's a new company?...Idk if that is me being conservative & safe22 or insecure

The company I want to be at allows you to do a 6 month fellowship at a non-profit! I've always wanted to work at a non-profit but was afraid of the money situation. This is great news! It looks like an even better choice!

Twitter laid off 50%...gosh damn!

Next month, I'll have to pay for transportation and all of my phone bill, both of which were covered by my job...and the Black tech professional org I was in outside of work I probably cannot participate in because usually I get my job to cover the almost $400 membership, but I need every dolla right now, and I don't want to get to a point next year where I regret that I paid for membership...True, I could dip into my savings for it, but maybe I just need to sit it out next year...I can't keep telling myself, 'Well you have savings and you'll have a job soon to re-up"...or can I??

My company actually paid pretty well compared to other companies in the industry...I just was not getting paid what I wanted to because of my age and what I SHOULD be getting if I didn't make a career transition...

Feeling

Slightly nervous and anxious, but much better than last week. Like, I did my dishes, meal prep, juiced, had a work-related meeting, took some calls, redid my schedule. With SOOO many people laid off, sometimes I worry if I will get a job in 6 months with so much more competition and with hiring generally slowing down for the next 3 months, but, I'm trying not to worry. I am also wondering if I should be helping others more, because so many people are reaching out to help me.

I also feel determined.

I don't want to let myself down...I've been trying to learn these concepts for years but they always get put on the back burner. I have no choice now, but I hope it doesn't take me MONTHS to get my act together...or understand the concepts well enough

I wonder if I need to take the rest of this week off just to relax...And if I do so, I need to do it without feeling guilt/lazy or like "time's a wastin'"...

Takeaways

There's A LOT of things I want to cover in this time to study, but, I'm excited for it all

A lot of people come out the woodwork, but some folks just want to be nosy or bask in your downfall but don't truly care; the realest ones gone pick up the phone or offer to hear your voice, or see you over FT and video; only about 3 have done that, but I'm grateful for every bit of support in any form; we are so used to texting now and I know we're all busy, but, going forward, I'm going to remember what I'm feeling now & try to call and FT instead of just texting for sensitive/traumatic events my friends or family go through

These recruiters out here are reckless; a lot of them are just bombarding my inbox with subject lines, LITERALLY like, "Hello/Lyft Layoff" like, this boilerplate, insensitive template that they replace with whatever company layoff happened the person they're reaching out to is coming from; one RANDO recruiter I've never talked to just called me out the blue at 6:22 PM!...sir, I don't know you, and I'm looking for a job yes, but you are disrespecting a boundary!!! I don't know what he's up against though. He may be trying to avoid being next on the chopping block...but nuh un sir. The disrespect...GOTTA protect my energy because a lot of people are masking as being helpful but are really being self-serving, even when they know it's a sensitive time; very few TRULY GAF about you, but you have to GAF about yourself and your peace

Tumblr's trending again now that Twitter is Elon's now...hopefully more people can check out this blog & maybe it can be helpful to more folks!

Elections are tomorrow & my brain is like, "woah lady, one thing at a time :/". Feeling guilty about not feeling prepared for it...but I'mma go...

Need to stay prayed up, confident, and stop thinking about the worst case scenario & have bigger faith

Goals After Today

Understand the main concepts I need to from Interview Cake, AlgoExpert, etc. in less 3 months

Drop my body fat percentage

Use social media/YouTube less

Improve my relationship with my family

Be more confident & faithful

Move more during my day

DRINK MORE WATER!

[afr0-thunder]

[Poor Chronicles Pt. 40]

Topics: Weed/Diet/SEXI (“final” update)/HORNDAWG/Fake Lesbian Girlfriend/Living Arrangement/Accounting/Geography Thoughts/Remaining Thoughts (3+ Parts)

*$260. I obviously lied. I will continue to purchase weed, but only in small amounts now following my thorn strain mishap. The second wasn’t rashy throat, as it was just not very great serving as an improvement while simultaneously there were some improvements. If you can’t rely on your dealer who can you rely on? I refer back to guy last. Solid improvement, still not surpassing quality of guy last to him. I decide it is time to stop waiting for my schedule to align with my dealer and let it be. I crossed passed with the second dealer from the second location. The one I had looked for and didn’t find until his services were no longer needed, I requested them for the first time. Greatest quality since “guy last to him” had been present. My dealer, although he gave me discounted weed “for Christmas”, I wouldn’t have even believed it was weed, if a seed didn’t fall out. Not my first, but it will be the source of a great experiment. We all know weed is good. We all know weed is great, but can “bad” weed become strong weed using proper gardening techniques as terrible crop soil, improper harvesting method and growing techniques could have harmed the first plant’s growth. Much like a bad plant with a bruised fruit or vegetable, or is it just aged? Or not aged enough? I also purchased a “grapple” of chips.

SEXI, has not replied to my latest direct message. It is time to retire her jersey number on the roster. She is not a destined baby momma. I am speechless.

Horndawg has to be retired. I had attempted to recruit a lesbian bride-to-be and she can’t be disrespected by competition. It was all or nothing. I couldn’t let another woman challenge her position. Unsettling. Both are to be retired.

I am considering abandoning my upcoming plans and taking them on alone. I do not believe such a perfect situational preference exists. I am stuck between frustrated and angry, less so of the angry.

Am not getting tired of the chips. Am getting tired of the endless cycle of nothing to do. There is almost nothing to spend money on.

Discovered my walking path to my old neighborhood was the projects and you would never notice in the present day. The idea of people hating it here is actually outrageous. The idea of my old neighborhood being the same for almost 50+ years in almost every way statistically is absolutely outrageous as well. Still the poorest in the whole city. Although people carry out these ideas poorly, we used to be a country. Mostly just Chicago, but this is nearly an island or country. We certainly are larger than many other places as far as population for some who have an outstanding amount of land in comparison and land for those lacking enough of it to consider declaring independence rational. We’re just larger in every way.

I have been getting an abundance of things lately. I had a ton of [Bad Questions] for the series, personal ones. I cannot remember them all or any really. I am unsure of where to place my money still. My savings series is still in process. I just had to spend about $400 on weed in 6-7 weeks just to show you it is not even a terrible expense. Just costly and uncertain in desired quality. Otherwise, I’d put it there. For what? To never spend? Exactly. Outrageous concept, really an emergency fund. I get the sense my ancestors were here and departed at some point surrounding the period of the Great Chicago Fire as a “smoke signal” (primarily marijuana) notifies African Americans of where it is and is not safe to be in the near future. I’m getting that they have relocated to Canada. I assume they departed from Haiti and traveled north near Nova Scotia and headed through the Great Lakes into the Chicago area and most have not returned since. The water quality declined and citizens were killed daily of cholera, so it had to have been a million signs notifying people to leave the area and were met with no responses. Eventually, the signals began to falsely be sent out after everything began to die down and safety was called. We now live in a period and/or era where almost nobody knows what is going on. There will be joy and cheer someday, but for most, not like the times that existed previously.

I’m so interested in what my projects will evolve into over time. I am happy with the progress that I didn’t even see myself making with them. The creativity is not satisfactory, but it’s becoming something to appreciate. I’m not sure what comes next because the additions I’ve made and am making could be disastrous or a significant improvement from the first attempts made. My “version” (totally new idea) will be better.

I have gotten back into reading, not the traditional kind, but articles at the very least. I’m loving it. It’s fun. I shall have a library for me and my nerdiest wench. I intend to treat every single one of them the same, because that is who I am in nature, but who am I to not “reward” my first available angel. It feels scum-like, but why would that relationship not be more personal. It has to align a certain way for some reason, right?

I miss cooking. I would like to learn _______chicken and fried rice. Shrimp, but that’s expensive. Chicken fried rice would be a lot of chicken, unsure of the clash. I would like to try the traditional General Tso’s, Orange, Etc…, but would also like to make my own sauce after I’ve gotten comfortable with cooking methods and tastes. I would love to try a chimichanga still, but wonder if I can make it more like nachos (cheesier). What creates the difference in texture with cooked ground beef versus ground turkey. Does turkey bacon get as crispy as pork? Bacon, cheese, fries. Ghost peppers? (Wendy’s). Any other peppers available?

- MH (2023)

[12/28/2023 - 10:58AM]

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 To answer any questions, he stayed outside for 40 minutes. 6 cigarettes and a NAP in the middle of the grass. I had to check up on him twice bc my cousins forced me to check if he’s still alive. Then his alarm clock went off, he got up, came inside, took his pills and then sat down and went to 2x17. Not a single word said. I fear we are slowly witnessing his breakdown.

‘THEY’RE GOING ON A TRIP FOR A WHOLE WEEK! Hallelujah! I was so fucking worried before. Oh thank you fucking hell!’ He visibly relaxed and is now smiling. ‘They’ve been together only for 7 years and yet they act like they wrote the fucking book on couples counseling! Oh are they gonna have a threesome?..oh sweetheart, Melly doesn’t do spontaneous, she does judgey’ ‘oh shit, so Brian’s company is being taken over but he’s still making time for the trip? where are mel and linds now with their bullshit? SEE! I told you my boy cares!’ He just went on his phone and checked his bank account just in case if someone accidentally gave him money too. The second time he looked at it, his bank automatically payed a bill that just came through and he almost had a heart attack. ‘This little baldy is going to ruin my plans for the episode, isn’t he?! MAN FUCK ALL OF THIS SHIT. What does he carry in that briefcase? I want one, i could put my pills in it and maybe like a sandwich or something. BALD MAN IS GONNA FUCK UP MY TRIP TO VERMONT!…*pauses tv* now tell me baldy, why is the fuck is it any of your business where he puts his dick? THATS RIGHT BRIAN TELL HIM! THATS MY BOY!’ ‘PICKLE GUY TOOK CARE OF EMY!! He made sure his baby boy was taken care of! Pickle guy, i miss you so much’ he is once again stressed because of the trip. I had to yell at him because he almost lit up a cigarette inside. ‘I like his assistant! Look at them working together and kicking ass. She knows about his extracurricular activities. I like her. Seems like he gets along with blondes’ he is currently once again on the verge of tears because of George’s tape. He just broke down in actual tears and paused the episode ‘he said he’s off on his adventure, oh Pickle Guy, i hope you have a blast on your adventure. You deserve a really fun one, full of opera and naked dudes and clubs and pickles!’ When George blew a kiss to Emmett this dumbass blew one back. ‘Oh shit there goes the trip doesn’t it? Wait no, Justin knows that Brian has a big boy job, he’s not an idiot. He knows. And he will understand so either he’ll go with him OR they’ll go a few days later. But my boy is understanding!’ He has been completely quiet since that scene up until now when the scene where Brian leaves for Chicago comes up ‘….or not….(brian says the ‘thats exactly who you’re fucking’ line) ohhh that was a nice one. I like being reminded about how badass he is at his job. *pauses tv* justin, my boy. Trust me, i get it, I’ve been rooting for you to go on a trip since like last week but he just told you if he doesn’t go, he loses his job AND you know his company is being sold. MY BOY, cmon, be understanding with me here, i thought i thought you better than this. I get it I’m like 10 years older *starts counting on his fingers* oh god…okay maybe older but my boy, my blondie, youre smart. Stop being dramatic, or be dramatic for 5 minutes but don’t fuck things up for ME, okay? Thank you, now proceed’ *starts the ep again* ‘look Mikey and Justin are friends!! I like this *pauses the tv* MY BOY HE IS NOT DEFENDING HIM, HE IS JUST STATING THE FACTS, wait hold up, i cant raise my voice at kids *takes a deep breath and looks at paused Justin* my sweet sweet oh so sweet summer child, sometimes career unfortunately takes the lead. It fucking sucks but sometimes you have to cancel on shit in order to afford food. Life sucks, especially in America, god bless it whatever. I cannot believe I am agreeing with Mike *looks at Justin in horror* look what you made me do! What else does he want?! JUSTIN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD HE JUST TOLD YOU A SCENE AGO THAT HE COULD BE FIRED. What do you think unemployment is? Do you want me to rewind the episode so you can hear it again? Exactly MICHAEL! Oh for fucks sake Justin, you fit in exactly where you are BUT HIS CAREER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU BUT ALSO EVERYTHING LIKE BABY BOY YOU CANT POSSIBLY BE THIS FUCKING STUPID?! I cannot believe what I am witnessing. This is outrageous. Me me me me, the dude is about to lose his job!’

Oh dear... your brother is falling apart here. He's now on like a death march through the rest of this season.

He blew a kiss back to George? I love this man.

And yeah Justin is a brat about the VT trip. He really is. And also your brother is closer to 20 years older than Justin... sorry Brother.

[dmcoffee]

Journal is packed away but I need brain clarity.

I think I am sitting pretty between panic and disassociation, so here's me whinging about the chaos to get it of my brain because I cannot find my journal atm.

So! RV's got hiccups. Some of this I expected. My range of solutions and subsequent picking of more mechanically minded individuals brains has netted me bumpkis atm. (Pretty sure there's an electrical issue. Alternator is my guess.) My tools are limited. My funds are limited at this precise moment. (And I have to make sure I'm careful about keeping gas money available so I can work.)

And I haven't been able to really get in there and so any work sealing up holes, because current elevation and lack of a ladder prevents me from monkeying all over it. Still missing two massive windows, rendering it unsafe to use for sleeping atm. And I cannot move it to work on it. I did run some primer on the inside and treated some of the wood pieces (I think I can get by on 1-2 small spackle cans here, the damage there is minor.)

Packing is slow and overwhelming. I think its emotional, but I'll bear it in mind next time I have to go see the doctor. Considering how much my other siblings are getting fascinating diagnosis's recently, there's a chance I too may be not as balanced as I could be with medication or some other accommodation.

Right now however, it's like pulling teeth. And I'm physically exhausted. Pretty sure I've managed to remember all the meals I need to eat. Have more going now because I felt hungry, so I'm trusting that. Also good way to get rid of perishables.

Technically I should be out tomorrow. IDK how the hell that's gonna look. There is still so. much. stuff. And only the van to put what I'm keeping into it.

This place needs to be cleaned too. I'm not sure I can let myself be petty enough to leave it as this guy's problem, even if he is a shit landlord.

I also think I might be getting sick. I'm hoping that this fatigue and that feeling in the back of my throat are all just from stress and allergies. I can't afford to get sick. (I'm an American, duh.)

The really crappy part is I might have to ask to stay at someone's for a while. With my cat...

I do not want to do that. Logically I know that even with it being a temporary thing, it's a big ask. And my friends have said that's a better alternative to me sleeping out of my car...I just feel incredibly frustrated and ashamed to have to reach out.

I've reviewed everything I know about what's happened, and aside from some minor tweaks, I don't think I could've avoided this outcome though...

The mental health had to be addressed. The meds were from my doctor. The side effects weren't caused by anything I did. And I physically could not keep up. My job hunt was long and difficult. I interviewed for the same position at the same store 3 times! And they're still "hiring.". (How???? The place was always packed with eager applicants too.) I wasn't being picky, I just picked whatever I could do that would cover my rent. Not enough.

I had 6 months put back for emergencies like this. It wasn't enough.

I partially paid the landlord and kept him in the loop. (Something he didn't do for me, I might add.)

And then when I looked into what to do once he gave me my two weeks, I lucked into the RV deal. Because rent's too high or with unknown roommates. (Bonus points for them being college guys. I'm don't want to room with guys I don't know. Did ask 1 person I knew, but we couldn't make that happen.)

All in all? It all makes sense. It all sucks. And at most I could've...applied more than just 10 apps per day? That's it, I think...

Yet I still feel guilty, like I didn't do enough, because that's how I was taught you're supposed to think of people. If you can't see them burning themselves out first, then they clearly aren't trying, and are probably just mooches and manipulators. (Ironically, I can't hold this opinion of others, but I sure as hell apply it to myself.)

Even though a few steps here and there might've forestalled worse consequences. (I guess I could've asked for help to pay rent until I found a job, but...I hate that. Intensely.)

So I'm starting to fizzle a bit and I'm going to have to ask, and I hate that. So I'm mad with my situation. Frustrated that I'm not an island and the cool self-sufficient adult I've heard about in grown-ups myths. Mostly I just feel like a very sad houseplant. IDK....

[paulisded]

The Ledge #563: New Releases

Here we are with another new release episode. Just over two hours of brand new tunes that everybody should check out. A little bit of garage rock, quite a bit of power pop, and a few other genres mixed in for fun.

As for the "52 Weeks of Teenage Kicks", I do have a brand new entry but it's not actually a submission. Last week, The Waco Brothers put out a fabulous new record, The Men That God Forgot, and I was thrilled to see they included their incediary take of that classic. 

Of course, I have to remind you that I am still looking for submissions. Please, if possible record your own version, or put the word out to your musician friends. If you have any questions, feel free to send an email to paulisded @ gmail dot com.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE SHOW!

1. The Waco Brothers - Teenage Kicks

2. The Waco Brothers - Best That Money Can Buy

3. Thee Headcoats - The Leader of the Sect

4. Calvin Johnson - Good and Crazy

5. The Tearaways - Are You Fucking Kidding Me

6. Tommy Stinson's Cowboys In the Campfire - Dream

7. High On Stress - Over Thru

8. The Hold Steady - Carlos is Crying

9. The Decibels - Enough

10. Connections - Slow Ride

11. The Half-Cubes featuring The Pernice Brothers - The Weakest Shade Of Blue

12. The No Ones - KLIV

13. Crickle - Tell Me That Your MIne

14. The Revenants - Highway 46 Revisited

15. Daddy Long Legs - Nightmare

16. Murry Robe - Let's Rock

17. Local Drags - Totally Down

18. Blair Gun - Lemondrops

19. Crocodiles - Rock 'n' Roll Graveyard

20. Eddie Japan - Time Machine

21. Slamdinistas  - Brand New Day

22. Highway 61 - Bad Day

23. Leather Catsuit - You're Killing Me

24. He Who Cannot Be Named - Funny Farm

25. Friends of Cesar Romero - Kinda Need Ya

26. Monty Vega & The Sittin' Shivas - Bad Dreams

27. Das Kapitans - This Could Be Considered A Protest Song

28. The Trouble Seekers - Nervous

29. Liquid Mike - American Record

30. Sharp Pins - Still a Straw Man

31. Purling Hiss - Something In My Basement

32. The Savage Blush - Incantations

33. Star Collector - Beat It To Death

34. Speedfossil - Pieces of Eight

35. Fastbacks - A Quiet Night

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

This is one of the weekends that I worked harder on my day off and I did during my working week.

In the past 3 or 4 years I have become so weak and so frail that doing regular things like carrying groceries from the car to my house, changing the cat litter, and making my bed absolutely wreck me.

If I am this week and this physically drained from small activities in my early 50s, I honestly cannot imagine what the rest of my life is going to be like.

Now granted, I never expected to live past my 20s so I had no idea what my fifties would be like because I never thought of them at all. I never abused my body in any way. I drank very little before I became straight edge and even before that, I have never done any drugs.

I've only had sex with one man in my entire life. Not that that is good or bad but the wear and tear on my body has been minimal up until the time that my body started to give out and I started to have surgery after surgery after surgery.

I need a corneal transplant and I started reading up on it the other night. It might actually be doable at some point in the future because it is not that expensive and there is a 90% success rate.

However, I've had about 15 other surgeries on my eyes so that would complicate things.

Even if the success rate is high, I'm not sure I even want to put my body through another operation.

I can almost track the total downfall of my body. Seven or so years ago I took a fall from a height of about 6 ft when I was living in Corpus. I had no money and no insurance and could not afford to see a doctor or chiropractor.

3 years after that, at my first teaching job in Big Spring, which was much more like being a guard at a prison, I attempted to break up a fight between two fourth grade boys.

I saw two boys running at a smaller boy and my first instinct was to step in between them thinking the boys were going to stop. They didn't and they ran me down literally knocking me completely backwards on my back in the middle of a hallway.

2 months after that I contracted pneumonia and continued to work for about 3 weeks until I physically collapsed and ended up in the hospital. I was told it would take about 3 months to recover but honestly it took about a year.

That's when I started to walk with a cane because I was so weak I could not get around any other way. Butonce I started walking with that cane I just became dependant on it .

Two years after that I had an asthma attack so bad that I lost consciousness and had to be intubated. I was Halo flighted two towns over was in the hospital for a week.

Then I had two glaucoma operations, one of which coincided with me contracting kidney stones that kept me out of work a week or so. I was basically told then that I had to come back to work or else. I came back to work without being fully healed

And here I am now, doddering around like an 80-year-old.

I can barely walk,I can't run, I can't really exercise other than using a low set bike. I can't walk without a cane and after an 11 hour day of being on my feet and not being able to sit down as much as I need to, by the end of some days I cannot walk at all.

Time, time, time...

See what's become of me....

[henryhareandlarryberry]

Act 2

5: Ext. Deep in the forest, Day, Lunch hour

    (Henry is sitting on the roots of a tree while surrounded by other magical creatures)

-HH: And I told him while I was flying away, “thanks for the materials, I’ll make sure to put them to good use, It’s always a pleasure doing business with you.

    - (The magic creatures laugh)

(Henry listen someone approaching, and look in that direction without paying much attention)

-LB:  Excuse me, I’m looking for a monster, would you know where I could find them?

(Henry doesn’t move his head, but he does examine the boy by just looking at him with one open eye)

I’m gonna be honest, there’s a reason why I mess with Dior and the other villagers, I don’t like humans. Ever since I was little I heard stories about humans accompanied by other creatures, that slay monsters and save kingdoms. This made many of them grow thinking that any of them could face gods and demons like they’re invincible.

And, on top of that, sometimes the gods would send a kid on a quest to be their chosen, A FUCKING KID! I mean, look at him, he might have just came out from a farm, and already thinking that he’s ready to face whatever the world throws at him, do his parents even know where he is?

-HH: Oh yeah, just go back the way you came from, in a near village, there is an ugly man in a shop, I think her mother was a troll and his father a tumor and that’s why he looks like that, if you kill him, I’m pretty sure you’ll be making him a favor.

-LB:   The old Dior? But he’s the one that sent me to kill the terrible monster, he said that they’ve been stealing from him.

Of fucking course, only that old bitch could of sending a child after my head, I’m sure he even gave him the…

-HH: Hey kid, did he give those things? (pointing to the sword and shield that Dior gave to Larry)

-LB:   Yeah, he said that this would kill them in one blow, but I’m not sure if I want to, maybe they have reasons to steal those jewels.

-HH: Yeah, maybe, or maybe he’s just a greedy bug who just wants to suck the blood and happiness of everyone around him, and that’s only useful to eat, fuck and shit.

-LB: You shouldn’t judge the monster without knowing them before.

-HH: Oh, I was still talking about the fucking jewelry make

-LB: …

-HH: Besides, you won’t be able to kill the thing with that sword, it only works on mortal beings for what I see.

-LB: How did you know?

-HH: Well, you see, I’m not just a talking hare, I’m the best blacksmith and merchant that you’ll ever meet. I make weapons, tools and any kid of item you can think of, and as the kind, responsible and conscientious creature that I am, I feel obliged to sell you what you need to complete your adventure.

-LB: *gasp* would you do that for me?

And anyone who gives me money.

-HH: Unfortunately, the key Word is “sell”, I cannot give my products for free, Right? judging by your clothes, you lack of any money, or anything of value, I’m afraid you’re gonna have to turn around and go back… (Larry takes a sack full of coins from his front pocket) …home. Where did you get that?

-LB: I’ve been saving all this weeks thanks to the tasks that people have been giving me on my way here.

-HH: Well, congratulations, from now on, you are my client, please, come to my shop.

 6: Int. Tavern

-(Everyone) HAHAHAHAHA…

-Dior: A Fucking Hare between your wife’s legs! HAHAHAHA!

-Man1: How small you must have for the shitty thing to beat you???

-Angry Man: Go fuck yourselves! And here I was to suggest a way to get rid of it once and for all

-Dior: What were you thinking? Keep him in a cage? and what do we use as bait? YOUR WIFE?!

-(Everyone, again) HAHAHAHAHA…

-Angry Man: we cannot face him one on their own, we need to do it together, if Dior have more of those magic weapons, we could use them on it, all at once, some of those have to be able to kill the bastard.

-Woman1: hey is not a bad idea, if only we knew where he usually is.

- (The Tavern Owner) he comes here almost every day.

-(Everyone)…

-(Everyone) WHAAAAAT…

-TO:Yeah, he usually comes when you all are already drunk as shit, you’re not even aware that he’s here. He usually works till late in his shop. When he sees that it’s too late, he’s the one taking all of you home. Even when you’re complaining about him and you talk about how you wish he was dead and all of that, he just says “yeah I know, that Henry guy is a demon and all…” he usually uses some kind of giant hands coming from some gauntlets he has so that he can carry you all at once.

-(Everyone)…

-Dior: Fuck

7: Ext. Forest

(Henry and Larry go to one the nearest tree)

-LB: is your shop very far?

-HH: not at all, I always have at the reach of my hand

(Henry gets a key out of his jacket, when he does this, a key hole form around the form of the tree, when he introduces the key into it, a two pieces’ door appears surrounding the keyhole)

-HH: welcome to… the Hare’s workshop.

(Henry and Larry get into the establishment)

There is a reason why I live near the human despite how much I… well despite them, they’re good clients.

-HH: so… what do you wish to buy?

-LB:  eeehm, what do you recommend?

-HH: well, for starters, you need to a change of clothes, whatever you’re wearing right now seems to be about to fall off any second now

-LB: It’s what I’ve been wearing since I got out of home.

-HH: Since you go- Wait you said that you’ve been for weeks on the road.

-LB: yeah.

Gods, kings and entire villages ask adventures to to save them from a dragon, a demon, or any other shit of that kind. Someone, some fucking idiot out there, asked a kid to face the world on his own, to defeat some kind of evil deity.

For their wellbeing, I hope they had a plan B.

-HH: you’re lucky that I’ve got the perfect outfit for you, it’s simple but it has many incantations to keep you safe, hold up a sec, I’m gonna get it.

-LB: All right.

(Henry takes goes throught the door behind the counter)

This kid won’t make it out alive. He’s too soft, probably grew up with stories of all those heroes, most likely one of those where the knight redeems the villain with words, he’ll even try to have some way to not to kill “this monster” the way Dior told him to.

(The hare finds the outfit, takes a quick look to see if it is of his size and goes back to the store)

-HH: here you go, now, this thing has special features, including a great resistance to extreme temperatures, is light but very tough. Perfect for a child like you.

-LB: wow it’s perfect (Larry looks with shiny eyes to the clothes and then to Henry) How much does it cost?

-HH: Well, knowing that it was made with the fur of a possibly now extinct animal… the amount of incantations and spells on it, and the sentimental value, I’d say… 100 full coins.

-LB: 100 full coins, that is 10.000 tenths, right? I think tha-

-HH: Wow wow wow kid, what the hell are you doing?

-LB: counting how much I have to pay you.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, how did this kid survive with all that money without being scammed or robbed?

-HH: Listen kid, I’m gonna give you a free lesson for life itself, when you meet someone like me, you can’t accept the first offer they make.

-LB: But you said that you put all those incatathions, and that an extinct animal made it, and that it’s really important to you.

-HH: Ok, first, yeah I put INCANTATIONS on it to make it resistant to many things, second, it was made FROM a possible extinct animal not by it, and third, the emotional value is an… exaggeration.

-LB: Bu-But…

-HH: No buts nor anything, I “suggested” a price, now you make your offer, say a lower price.

-LB: How low?

-HH: As low as you think it should be.

-LB: eeehm, tw-two and a half?

(henry stays quiet looking with his eyes wide open and a huge smile in his face)

-HH: ok, you’re lucky as fuck, because if it was any other, you would’ve been kicked out of the store right before you finished the sentence.

-LB: …

-HH: I know this is hard, let’s try this, you’re the seller and I’ll be the buyer, got it?

-LB: ok

-HH: so how much?

-LB: 100 full coins?

-HH: ok, how about 20?

-LB: all ri-NO no no.

-HH: You need to go lowering the price, I-ll tell you when it-s ok

-LB: ok, eeehm, how about 80 full coins?

-HH: you lowered a little too fast there but good enough, now I’m going to say a higher price until we get to a reasonable price for the both of us. Do you get it?

-LB: yeah, I think so.

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Father of Mine – 1/2

Character: Bruce Wayne x Daughter!Reader

Summary: With the tragic passing of her mother, Y/N learns to the truth of who her father is. 

Word Count: 4,000+

Warnings: Family death, cancer, absent father, cremation 

A/N: The reader is described as tall in this fic. Bruce Wayne is 6′2 and I’m tall, so I’m indulging myself with no apologies. Read it or don’t. 

“Do you want to say anything before we…” the operator asked her.

“No,” Y/N answered quickly.

“Oh, my assistant forgot to give you this,” the operator gave her a shy smile as he handed her a small cardboard box.

She opened it to find all of her mother’s jewelry that had been on her body at the funeral.

“Thank you,” Y/N told him.

“Ready?” The operator asked.

He had been so kind throughout the whole process. It was obvious he was used to people breaking down and being extremely emotional. 

But Y/N had been stoic, almost concerningly so. 

Though he wasn’t one to judge. Everyone grieved differently.

With the pull of a handle, Y/N watched her mother’s body going into the chamber.

“It will be a few hours,” the operator told her.

He meant it will it will take a few hours for her mother’s body to burn to ash. Then they would hand her a tacky vase with her remains.

Y/N just nodded. “I’ll go for a walk.”

As soon as she was outside, Y/N called her mother’s executor.

“Ms. Y/L/N, I was just about to call you.”

“I’m at the crematory,” she told him. “I figured we should discuss the bills that still need to be paid for.”

“Yes, of course. As I mentioned to you before, your mother’s life insurance covers quite a lot of it…” his words died out.

“But it’s still not enough,” Y/N finished for him. “I’ll get the money.”

She wasn’t exactly rich, but she also wasn’t living paycheck to paycheck. But people never realized how much money it cost for loved ones to die. It was honestly ridiculous.

“You might want to consider taking out a loan,” he tried to suggest gently.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Another thing, Ms. Y/L/N. There was an envelope with a name on it. And your mother left instructions on delivering the envelope to them.”

She stopped her pacing. 

“What name is on the envelope?” Y/N asked.

There was a pause.

“Bruce Wayne.”

Y/N’s brow furrowed.

Of course she knew who Bruce Wayne was – everyone in Gotham did, as well as most of the country. He was a billionaire playboy, only making headlines when he was a mess. But every once in awhile his philanthropy would sneak in there. Y/N always assumed those were only to help recover his image and not because he was a good person.

“You still there?” The executor asked.

“Yeah. I’m just a bit confused. But please pass it along to him, if that’s what my mom wanted.”

“I can’t. The instructions specifically say for you to deliver the envelop to him in person.”

“In person?” Y/N groaned in annoyance as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

Why did all of this have to be so god damn complicated?

“Yes. Her instructions are…oddly specific."

“Fine,” she huffed. “I’ll pick up everything from your office before the work day ends.”

——————

Y/N stared at the envelop that she’d tossed on her coffee table as she sipped a rather large glass of red wine.

She was wracking her brain trying to think of a time when her mom mentioned knowing Bruce Wayne. But Y/N would’ve remembered her mom saying his name – even in passing. It’s not a name that one can drop casually.

Y/N pulled up her phone and googled him. But she looked at his history. Yes, he was from Gotham, as was her mom, but so were 10 million other people.

But then Y/N’s scrolling paused when she realized they went to the same high school: Gotham Academy. Not only that, they graduated in the same year.

‘Were they friends?’ Y/N wondered.

But just classmates or friends still didn’t seem to warrant a handwritten letter to be delivered after one’s death.

Y/N didn’t open the envelope.

Her mother’s instructions specifically told her not to. And if she put in that much of an effort to get this done after her death, Y/N wasn’t going to ignore such a request.

That didn’t mean she wasn’t curious.

“Fuck,” Y/N sighed before throwing back the rest of her wine.

——————

“I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t grant you access to the building without your name being in the system by the company you’re visiting,” the building receptionist told her for the third time.

“I understand. But I called his office 30 fucking times and they refuse to put me through to him or get me an appointment,” Y/N practically growled.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. I already called their office to say you were here and they didn’t recognize your name. I can’t let you through to the elevators.”

Y/N’s gaze flickered to the security guard who stood a few feet away. He was eyeing her now that there was clearly an argument going on.

Y/N wanted to roll her eyes. She had a good foot on him – even without her heels on. And he looked like he couldn’t run a 50 yard dash without passing out or vomiting. If he thought he was going to physically stop her, he had another thing coming.

“Listen, I am not some crazy fucking stalker. My mom knew Bruce Wayne and in her will she asked me to deliver this to him,” Y/N’s voice lowered and became disturbingly calm. “I don’t want to be here just as much as you don’t want to have this conversation.”

“Ma’am, I’m going to need you to calm down,” the security guard finally stepped forward.

“Oh, fuck off,” Y/N rolled her eyes at the rent-a-cop.

“Ma’am, I’ll have to ask you to leave,” he continued.

“Call me ma’am one more fucking time…” Y/N growled.

But the security guard was taking a step to her.

“Excuse me. What seems to be the problem here?” A voice suddenly interrupted.

Everyone turned to see a young man – younger than Y/N – glaring at the security guard just as he was about to grab Y/N.

“M-Mr. Drake, we were just escorting this young woman from the premises,” the guard stuttered out.

Everyone at the building knew every member of the Wayne family. But unlike his siblings, Tim Drake was at the office almost every day. As one should be when they’re the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company.

“For what reason?” Tim Drake asked.

“She insists on seeing Mr. Wayne. But she doesn’t have an appointment. For security reasons, I cannot let her through, obviously, unless the company she is visiting has put her into their system and the building’s system,” the receptionist explained nervously.

Y/N frowned as if she was bored of the whole thing.

Tim stepped forward. “May I ask what your business with Bruce Wayne is?”

Now that he was closer, Y/N noticed how exhausted he looked. He was handsome still, of course. But she wondered when he last got a good night’s sleep. He was shorter than her, probably standing at 5’5. And she still believed he was younger than her, which was wild seeing as he was already the CEO and couldn’t be older than 24.

Y/N sighed before she grabbed the envelope from her black leather satchel, and showed that Bruce Wayne’s name was handwritten on it.

“My mother wished me to personally deliver this to him.”

Tim tilted his head slightly. “Why isn’t she doing it?”

“Because she’s dead,” she shot back without emotion.

But Tim’s face became sympathetic. “I’m sorry. I should’ve assumed…”

“It’s fine,” Y/N quickly cut him off before he could continue.

She was so tired of being on the receiving end of people’s sympathy. It didn’t help. And the words stopped holding any meaning to her.

“But I’m sorry. Bruce isn’t in today. And he probably won’t be coming to the office for the rest of the week.”

“Oh,” was all she responded with.

Of course Bruce Wayne didn’t come to work. Why would he?

This was a stupid idea. And now she had made a scene because of it.

“But if you give me your information, I will personally let him know that you are trying to reach him.”

“Really?” Y/N asked in shock.

Tim smiled at her surprise. “Of course.”

“Here’s my card,” she quickly grabbed one from her wallet and then a pen. “All my info is on that.” She wrote something on the back. “And that’s my mom’s name.”

He took it from her and nodded. “What was your mother’s relationship with Bruce?”

Y/N shrugged. “Honestly, I have no idea. I’ve been trying to figure it out. Apparently they graduated in the same high school class. But that’s all I was able to find.”

He nodded.

“Thank you…Mr. Drake. For your help. Really,” she urged.

“Please, it’s just Tim.” Then he glared at the receptionist and security guard. “For you it is, at least.”

“Thank you again,” Y/N felt like saying it 30 more times still wouldn’t be enough.

“You don’t have to thank me. Someone will be in touch. Have a good day, Ms. Y/L/N.”

“Y/N,” she corrected with a smile before she nodded and started backing away.

He smiled at her correction and gave a final nod.

——————

Y/N didn’t expect to hear from anyone for at least a week.

If the Wayne family was one thing, it was busy.

They probably had parties to go to, meetings to attend, private jets taking them around the world whenever they wished.

Why would they ever prioritize a meeting with her, a stranger?

So imagine her surprise when she received a call from an unrecognized number the same day she gave Tim Drake her card.

“Hello?” She answered.

Usually she would let any unknown number go to voicemail.

“Hello,” a British voice answered. “Am I speaking with Ms. Y/F/N Y/L/N?”

“This is she,” Y/N sat up straighter on her couch.

“This is Alfred Pennyworth. I work for Master Wayne and manage all his personal appointments. I was told by Master Tim that you wished to meet with him?”

“Uhhh. Yes. Yes, I do. Is that…is that possible?”

“Would you be able to stop by Wayne Manor on Friday afternoon?”

Y/N already knew she had nothing going on that would stop her from getting this done. But she still paused to pretend to think about it.

“Yes, Friday afternoon should be fine. Are you sure he doesn’t just want me to stop by Wayne Enterprises?”

It felt oddly intimate to stop by Wayne Manor. Wouldn’t they want to meet her in a more secure location like a corporate building with security that already hated her?

“He is quite certain. Should I send a car for you Ms. Y/L/N?”

A car?

Y/N felt even more out of her depth now.

“Oh, no. That won’t be necessary. I’ll be there.”

“I look forward to meeting you, Ms. Y/L/N.”

“Thanks,” she answered before hanging up and realizing that probably wasn’t the proper response to such a polite goodbye.

——————

“I haven’t heard that name since high school,” Bruce had muttered as he stared at the business card for what felt like the thousandth time.

“Yes, and the end of your relationship did not end on the best of terms,” Alfred commented.

Y/M’s/N Y/L/N had been Bruce’s high school sweetheart.

An she had seen the last moments of Bruce’s normal life. 

Upon graduation, Bruce decided to leave Gotham and that’s how his second life was founded. The two of them broke up before the summer after graduation had even ended.

Well, “Breakup” was a strong word.

Bruce stopped answering her calls.

She was his first love and he continued to love her.

But once Bruce realized where his life was going and who he wanted to be, he knew he couldn’t drag her into it. She deserved better.

And Bruce was a coward about relationships then. Maybe he still was.

“I am certain you did a thorough background check on her already,” Alfred commented with a smirk.

Bruce took in a breath before listing off all of her accomplishments. “Y/F/N Y/L/N. Graduated number one in her class at Gotham Academy. She was the star of the track team, breaking the regional record for fastest time in 100m, 200m, and 400m races. Also captain of her soccer team. Attended NYU’s photography program before dropping out after a year. Now she’s a professional photography. Her work’s been featured in Vogue, New York Times, National Geographic…amongst others.”

“Rather an impressive woman,” Alfred said.

Bruce nodded.

“I should get the tea and coffee ready for her arrival.” And with that, Alfred left Bruce in the drawing room.

30 minutes later, the doorbell rang.

Bruce glanced down at his watch: she was right on time.

He heard Alfred saying his pleasantries before he heard the clicking of her heels as she rounded the corner to enter the room he was waiting in.

For being a famous photographer, she could’ve been a runway model with her height and the way she walked into the room, completely owning it. She wore four-inch heels, only adding to her natural tallness. And her bright, red coat only added to her presence.

For a split second, Bruce was convinced that he was looking at an Amazon. Diana immediately flashed into his mind for a split second. Perhaps that was what Y/M’s/N needed help with: to get her daughter to her real people. But how would she have known Bruce Wayne had such connections? Unless she knew Batman’s true identity…

As soon as Y/N spotted him in the room, he rose from his seat.

“Ms. Y/L/N,” Bruce greeted.

He took a step forward and held out his hand.

“You guys really love the formalities.” She said it with a dark evenness, but it was clearly a joke. “Y/N is fine, Mr. Wayne,” she added as she shook his hand.

“In that case, it’s Bruce,” he countered with a soft smirk.

There was something so familiar about her. But Bruce knew they’d never met. 

“Thank you for seeing me. I don’t want to waste anymore of your time,” Y/N quickly got to it. She opened her purse to grab the envelope.

“My mom wanted you to have this. And she wanted to make sure I was the one to give it to you,” Y/N explained as she offered it to him.

Bruce took it carefully, but didn’t open it. “Yes, I heard about her passing. I’m very sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you,” she said hurriedly, making it obvious to Bruce that she did not want nor need his condolences.

Bruce nodded slowly.

There was a pause.

“Do you know what it says?” He asked her lightly.

She shook her head. “I wasn’t supposed to read it.”

“I see.”

“I should really be going. I have a flight to catch later tonight.” Most people that visited Wayne Manor wished to stay there forever. Or their curiosity got the best of them and their eyes took in every little detail.

But Y/N looked like she’d rather be anywhere else. And she wanted to get out as soon as she possibly could.

“Thank you again for seeing me,” she rushed out.

Without waiting for his answer, Y/N turned and started walking out of the room.

But she only got a few steps before she stopped.

Bruce watched her shoulders tense and her body move as she was clearly taking in deep breath.

Slowly, Y/N turned around to face him.

“Were you friends?”

Bruce gave her a watery smile. “She was my girlfriend in high school.”

Y/N seemed annoyed by that answer. “She never mentioned you. Not once.”

Bruce’s brow furrowed at that and his eyes zoned out as if he was revising the past in his mind. “I’m not entirely surprised. Things didn’t really end well between us.”

She nodded slowly. “Goodbye, Mr. Wayne.”

And Y/N turned and strutted out of the room without looking back.

As soon as Bruce heard her cab drive away, he ripped open the envelope and pulled out a letter.

He barely noticed that Dick had walked into the room. “May I ask…Who was the extremely attractive and tall woman that just walked out?”

But Bruce didn’t hear him as his eyes raced across the letter. His heart sped as he continued reading.

“Bruce?” Dick asked after being ignored. “Is she your next conquest or what?”

It wasn’t until Bruce was done reading the letter for the third time that he finally looked up and acknowledged Dick.

Alfred had also walked into the room, unbeknownst to Bruce.

“You OK?” Dick asked, now concerned with how silent Bruce had become.

“Master Wayne?” Alfred also urged.

“That was…my daughter,” Bruce finally muttered.

Dick blinked before his eyes grew wide in shock.

Alfred seemed less surprised, almost as if he had already put that together.

“Excuse me,” Bruce told them and exited the room.

———

Dick and Alfred must’ve warned the rest of the family not to bother Bruce in the cave. Usually he would’ve been disturbed by now.

Bruce had been at the computer for hours.

Alfred was the first person to come down, carrying a tray with dinner and tea.

The butler wasn’t surprised to find Y/N’s face all over the screens.

If Bruce had left any available information hidden before inviting Y/N to the manor, it was all out there now. Bruce knew everything about Y/F/N Y/L/N that was public knowledge – probably even some things that were not.

“You know, you did not seem all that surprised,” Bruce said to Alfred as he put the tray of food down next to him.

“Seemed rather obvious, didn’t it?”

Bruce quickly turned to look at him. “It did?”

Alfred smirked. “Her eyes,” was all he said.

“The color?”

Alfred shook his head. “As soon as she walked into the manor, they were reading me.” He tilted his head in Bruce’s direction. “Observation. Perception. Attention to detail...That is all you, Master Wayne.”

“The way she held herself,” Alfred continued, "Shoulders held back, head high, walking with purpose. No hesitation.”

“Also me?” Bruce asked.

Alfred simply nodded.  

“I don’t think she liked me very much,” Bruce sighed.

He didn’t know how he felt about that yet.

“A lot of people think you don’t like them when you first meet them,” Alfred countered. “Because I don’t trust them yet.”

Alfred raised his brows and silently ask him, ‘Don’t you see my point?’

Bruce rubbed his face and reached for the tea on the tray, ignoring all the food.

“I don’t know why you’re so entertained by this, Alfred.”

“Yes, I was entertained. I just saw a younger, female version of you, Master Wayne.”

“I abandoned her,” Bruce shot.

“You didn’t know she existed,” Alfred corrected.

“And why do you think that is?”

Alfred’s face dropped a little bit when he noticed the envelope discarded on the far end of Bruce’s desktop.

He looked down at the ground as he asked, “Might I ask what the letter said?”

Bruce glared at the letter as if touching it would burn him.

But after a moment, he grabbed it and quickly handed it to Alfred.

Bruce,

If this letter has finally reached you, it is because I have passed.

I must admit that I wrote this letter mostly in the event that I leave my daughter before she is an adult. But once Y/N turned 18, I decided to still pass this along to you.

There is no easy way to tell you this, so I will get to the point.

The young woman who delivered this letter to you is your daughter, Bruce.

Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N.

When I found out I was pregnant with her, I was only 18. We had just graduated high school. You had started traveling. You called less and less. And you grew more distant – physically and emotionally. Eventually, you stopped answering my calls altogether. I left you a voicemail, only saying that I so desperately needed to talk to you, that I needed you.

But you never called me back.

With no words at all, you made it very clear that you no longer wanted anything to do with me.

But there I was, a teenager who was pregnant with our child.

I would be lying if I said I never considered terminating my pregnancy. I was scared and you broke my heart. All I wanted to do was erase you from my life.

But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Once I decided what my future was going to be, I also decided that I did not want you to have any part in it.

I knew even if you pretended to play the doting father and the committed partner, you would grow tired of us eventually. You would resent me and our child for bringing you down. And you would brush us aside for yourself.

I realized I would rather Y/N have no father at all than one who would only disappoint her over and over again.

To this day, I truly believe I did the right thing for all three of us.

There are not enough words to explain the complicated woman that Y/N grew up to be. But I will try my best. I think I owe you that at least. 

Or maybe you have no interest.

I don’t know how she became so much like you, even when I never so much as showed her a picture of you or uttered your name.

She enjoys being alone – almost to her own detriment. I constantly catch her repressing her feelings, always staying strong for everyone else. It reminds me of you. She’s assertive and confident, never letting anything stand in the way of what she wants. Sometimes I don’t think she’s scared of anything. It worries me, just like it worried me when I thought the same of you.

I truly don’t know what you will do with this information.

But…if you have any desire to form some sort of relationship with her, then you should know this: she will not make it easy for you. She will push you away. And she might even hate you. I raised her to never need a man in her life, and she’ll make sure you know that.

I don’t expect anything from you. I never did.

But I would just like to know there might be someone who will be there for her should she need them.

Goodbye, Bruce.

Alfred slowly handed the letter back to Bruce when he was finished.

“I pushed her away because I knew what I was about to become,” Bruce explained darkly. “And I didn’t want her anywhere near it. She would’ve been in danger.”

“Y/N, as well,” Alfred added.

“But had I known…if I just listened to her–”

“Master Wayne, I thought we had agreed to never linger on the ‘what ifs.’”

That sure silenced Bruce.

“Now, what do you plan on doing, Master Wayne?”

———

Y/N frowned when her phone started vibrating and she recognized the name of her mom’s executor on her phone screen.

“Hello?”

“Ms. Y/L/N, how are you?”

“Fine. How are you?” She was quick, wanting to get this over with. Surely, he had bad news. Another medical bill came in or some other expense that slipped by them.

“Good, good. Just curious…have you placed any payments to our various claims?”

“Uhhh…no. But I’m working on it.”

Y/N hadn’t expected to get a call nagging about paying bills.

“No, no, no. You misunderstand. They’ve all been paid,” the executor explained.

Y/N sat up straighter in her chair. “What? That’s not possible.”

“An anonymous donor. They somehow got record of all your outstanding payments and covered all of them.”

Y/N was stunned to silence.

“Ms. Y/L/N…this is a good thing.”

She blinked and shook her head. “Right. Yes, of course. I just…thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. Thank this guardian angel of yours.”

---------------------

Part 2

Let me know what you think!!!

[scribeforchrist-blog]

God Is My Only God

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

=========================

+ Psalm 33:21 For our heart is glad in him because we trust in his holy name.

=========================

VERSE OF THE DAY

========================

Acts 17:29-30 And since this is true, we shouldn’t think of God as an idol designed by craftsmen from gold or silver or stone.30 “God overlooked people’s ignorance about these things in earlier times, but now he commands everyone everywhere to repent of their sins and turn to him.

=========================

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM TRUSTING IN GOD

I AM COMPLETE

MY MIND IS CLEAR

I AM LOVING

********************************

THOUGHTS:

=======================

During this time that this verse was written Paul was visting Athens and when he did it was said to be over 30,000 statues of different gods or idols and he learn then that they were worshipping theses idols and he became infuriated and he went and teached on this very thing , in todays society we don’t have idols we bow to or stautes made of gold and silver no , we have are phones, people , sex, money, and such we have other things we created in being our idol and god, and one would say oh i, dont bow down, but our heart does every time we allow those things to take over and to stand between us and God.

We do have an idol if those things are what we focus on more then God those are our idols, it sounds strange right for those things to be something we need more then God but it happens when we devote more of our time into something then God or when we surrender ourselves to something / someone more then God, friends they become more of a value to us then anything. I am here to tell you when you give your self into theses things you won’t see life the same, you won't see Christ the same because he start to look useless to you because you found something or someone to take the place of him.

"• 1 John 5:21 Little children, keep yourselves from idols.

•Leviticus 9:4 Do not turn to idols or make for yourselves any gods of cast metal: I am the Lord your God.

•1 Corinthians 10:14 Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.

See its verses in the bible that tell us to stay away from idolatry. It tells us to run from them, not to mingle with them, not to entertain them, but to flee, to get away. We often stay doing what we want because we are not looking at what the consequences could bring us, which is separation from God. People nowadays look at God as an option; they dont see him as A GOD that they need, and when we get to this point where we only view him like that, we won't value his presence and won't seek him with our whole hearts.

"Psalm 115:4-5 Their idols are merely things of silver and gold, shaped by human hands.5 They have mouths but cannot speak and eyes but cannot see.

In Psalm it tells us that idols can't speak, nor can they see; God sees everything, God can speak the word, and we can be healed. God can speak the word, and we can have peace ,God can speak the word, and everything must stop that's coming up against us, but when we put faith into THINGS, it cant’t and won't be able to help us at all, THINGS can’t provide, or idols can't do anything but just be, we should want a God that can move and be everywhere, and that's God he can do everything we need and more.

Verse 6-8:" They have ears but cannot hear, and noses but cannot smell. 7 They have hands but cannot feel, and feet but cannot walk, and throats but cannot make a sound. 8 And those who make idols are just like them, as are all who trust in them.”

The psalmist tells us we are just like them when we put our trust in them, we are emotionless, and because we are spiritually dead, we aren't alive in Christ; when we put so much in them, we have to learn that these idols are just things we have placed over on God and that as long as we are doing this and as long as we are ignoring the truth of the matter we will stay in darkness.

It use to be a time in my life where I would place things over God and honestly ,I didn't want to have anything to do with him. I was in a dark place in my life, and it was because I didn't have Jesus in my life, but when I gave myself to him, I realized I had a lot of idols. I had a lot of things I placed before him, and I wanted him to change me through and through.

**Today, let God be your ONE GOD, not these false gods that can't do anything. We can have nice things and people in our lives, but we shouldn't have anyone over us who is going to take the place of God; it's a lost feeling to lose God , not to be close to him; an idol can't feel our pain it can't hear us when we cry it can’t comfort us but God can in our most darkest , deepest lost moments , our hurt moments God can help us through it all we must do is trust in HIM & put him first.

©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

========================

PRAYER

========================

Heavenly Father we thank you for allowing us to see another day ! We place our trust in you alone . Lord we ask that if it’s anything in our lives that we have made an idol please show us so that we can remove it . Lord we trust in you and we BELIEVE in you alone . Forgive us of any sins we have done. Help us to walk in you and not into this world. God we don’t want to trust in money or our jobs we just want to trust in you . We give you everything and our lives we ask you to be the head and we will listen . Give us ears to hear and eyes to see in Jesus Mighty Name Amen

========================

REFERENCES

========================

+ Exodus 20:23 You shall not make gods of silver to be with me, nor shall you make for yourselves gods of gold

+ Leviticus 19:4 Do not turn to idols or make for yourselves any gods of cast metal: I am the LORD your God.

+ Deuteronomy 4:39 Know therefore today, and lay it to your heart, that the Lord is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other.

========================

FURTHER READINGS

=========================

Jeremiah 4:19-6:15

Colossians 1:13-2:7

Psalm 77:1-20

Proverbs 24:23-25

=========================

[sylverstorms]

Cassandra x Maiden ----Anonymity Ch.10

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9

The day shift gives you ample time and opportunities to walk around the castle. Within a week, you come to know every chamber and pathway you hadn’t previously crossed, intimately.

At first, you pictured making your escape through a weak point in its fortification. The walls are ancient; You would have bet money on one of its parts having given out in the passing of centuries and gone unnoticed. Now, you know such a thing doesn’t exist. It doesn’t really surprise you that Alcina has made sure the exterior is in the same excellent condition as the interior.

But it is a problem.

The walls are too big for you to scale. If there are any stepping points, you can’t see them from within. You tried over and over to at least peak out into the back yard, but the shrieks and growls of monsters had you immediately changing course.

You don’t know what those things are and you’re not eager to find out. According to the older maids, there are more of them deep in the dungeons. It is only a rumor, of course, since nobody has ventured down there and returned to tell the tale.

Which, taking the window bars into account… leaves only one way out.

The front door.

You are aware that Lady Dimitrescu and the daughters all have a key on them. You know from Cassandra those are the only copies. Nothing enters or leaves unless one of them allows it.

There is not a snowflake’s chance in hell you’re getting Alcina’s key. She will murder you on sight. Bela won’t do anything to disappoint her mother, so that rules her out, as well. Daniela is the one most likely to misplace it or be persuaded to give it to you, but the girl is as unpredictable as she is sly and you won’t risk your wellbeing for a distant chance.

That means…

Cassandra is the only way out, isn’t she…

-

-

You lay low and await an afternoon where the cold is downright bone-piercing. As warm as the castle is, with fireplaces burning everywhere, you can still feel the stinging kiss of the outside frost every time you so much as go near a window.

And it all comes full circle right back to the start; You in front of Cassandra’s bedroom door, trembling with anxiety like the very first time. It is oddly fitting, in a way, that the story of the two of you ends where it began.

For a moment, you almost marvel at how long ago it feels, now. But there is no time nor space in your heart for sentimentality anymore. You stand at the point of no return.

And you cross it as soon as you turn the handle.

Cassandra’s bedroom is softly illuminated by the dying embers of the fireplace. You walk forward cautiously, slowly, almost as if you’re expecting a landmine to go off at a single misstep. Except –well. A mine would be far more merciful. Just an explosion and then nothing. If Cassandra wakes…

You try not to think about it, lest your muscles lock in place.

Underneath the heavy covers of the bed, you see her, cocooned, pale fingers clutching tight at the blankets. It is too early for her to wake. She is deeply asleep, you tell yourself, simultaneously praying she doesn’t open her eyes.

You make it to her vanity, soundless. Her amber-jeweled choker and the necklace she and her sisters wear are neatly arranged, yet the key you’re looking for isn’t with them.

Shit. You inwardly curse, your hand shaking from the nerves. It means she’s put it in the drawer of her bedside table. It means you have to go next to her, to literally put your fingers in the sleeping wolf’s parted jaws and hope they don’t clamp down.

Easy, right?

An unsteady exhale later, you move further in and carefully kneel by the small furniture. Keep your eyes on the prize. Keep—

But you make the mistake of looking to the side.

Cassandra’s expression is not relaxed in sleep like how you remember it from the time when you would wake her up. Instead, her brow is furrowed, the line of her mouth pressed thin. She’s shivering, you realize, either from the cold or a nightmare or both. Shadows dance across her beautiful face.

Your first instinct is still to reach over and soothe her. You hate it, but you’ve accepted you won’t be over whatever it is you feel for her in quite some time.

It is not your place anymore to touch her, you remind yourself. You cannot ease her through her fears now that she has become your own.

With a clenched jaw, you force your body through the motions of opening the drawer and taking the key within.

At last. Your freedom is in your grasp.

And yet.

Shouldn’t you be happier about it?

Cassandra’s voice nearly knocks the air out of your lungs when it reaches your ears, faint. “No… please…”

You forget how to breathe for a couple of seconds. When your wide eyes shift to her, though, you realize she’s merely talking in her sleep.

Leave. Leave while you can.

But your chest constricts when you hear her sob. “…don’t leave me here… please…”

And out of all the possible things she could say, she utters those words and smashes your glass heart with a sledgehammer into a trillion pieces. The shards cut into you and it hurts—

You pause at the door. The corners of your vision have started to blur.

And then the world snaps, sharply, back into focus when her tone changes;

“…Alexia…?”

Your eyes lock, hazel to amber-grey, for a split second.

You run.

-

-

You don’t think you have ever ran this fast in your entire life. But it’s different now that it is about your life.

Adrenaline rushes throughout your bloodstream. You’re not thinking, just acting. Just fleeing.

Death, in the form of a black swarm, closes in on you with every rapid heartbeat. Cassandra is faster –she can fly and you’re only human—and at this rate you won’t even escape the corridor, much less the castle.

Flies break ahead of the rest and attach themselves to you. The sting of their bite at your nape and arms nearly has you howling in agony. She meant it when she said she would kill you herself. Not that you doubted it. Not for a second.

Because if Cassandra can’t have you, she will make sure nobody will.

You didn’t want to hurt her back the first time, but the stakes are too high now. You grab the nearest solid antiquity in your panic and throw it with all your might against the nearest window.

Glass shatters and the temperature plummets with it. Over your shoulder, you hear her scream. More out of rage than pain.

The flies biting at you drop to the floor, grey and paralyzed. You hear her shout pierce through your eardrums like a gunshot as you dash towards the turn—

“You won’t ever get to that door, Alexia!”

From the corner of your eye, you notice a blur coming towards you and instinctively drop down. A heavy thump later, your frantic eyes fly to the wall to see her sickle embedded halfway through a painting. If you hadn’t reacted in time, that would have been you.

Still, she can’t cross the hallway now, so you scramble to your feet and run while she takes the long way around. Question is, will you make it to the front door before she does?

It becomes a race where the winner takes all.

You practically jump down entire sets of stairs in your struggle for survival and you have no clue how you do it. You just know you can’t slow down for even a second.

The castle feels ten times as large as it actually is. By the time you descend the last staircase and the sound of buzzing insects grows in volume, the entrance is within sight.

You reach for another decoration and smash another window. Cassandra slows down, forced to materialize out of the swarm before she can’t will her body back together at all.

You shove the key into the lock and turn it.

Cassandra fights through the rush of frozen air, taking step after weighted step towards you—

“I won’t…let you leave here…alive.” she hisses, her teeth bared at you, skin growing too pale yet eyes blazing.

“I’m done being your prisoner.” you say back, voice hoarse and raw…

And you open the door. Steps taken backwards carry you away from her faster than she can make it to you. You can see her pain and her frustration, but they cannot compare to your own.

Your wounds ache from the frost.

Cassandra seems just about ready to leap at you even if it will certainly mean something very bad for her—

Until a black blur shoves her a dozen meters back. Bela’s back stands between you and Cassandra’s cracking form. Daniela soon lands off to the side, looking between the two of them.

“Get out of the way, Bela!” Cassandra snaps.

“It’s over.” Bela replies, a grave finality to her voice.

Your breaths are coming out in harsh puffs of smoke. You still have trouble believing that you did it. That they can’t follow anymore. You did it.

“Nothing’s over!” Cassandra snarls and lunges for her elder sister.

The blonde, deadly calm, grabs her by the neck in a choke-hold and drags her closer to the nearly-extinguished warmth of the fireplace. The way Cassandra thrashes in her arms is downright heartbreaking.

Daniela looks at you, almost saddened, then back at her sisters.

“Shh. Calm down, Cassandra. Let go. Mother will be here soon. Don’t let her see you like this.” Bela says. “If you’ve any parting words to say to Alexia, say them now.”

You’re shivering. The cold nips through every layer of clothes you’re wearing to bite straight at your flushed skin. But you don’t move further away. You wait. Why am I even waiting, though?

Realization slowly sinks in, you can tell from Cassandra’s expression. Beyond the wounded pride of the apex predator losing a fight to a rabbit… she understands that she will never see you again.

Bela releases her and steps away, adjacent to Daniela.

“You’ve earned your freedom, Alexia.” Bela speaks under her hood. “Nobody’s ever managed to escape, before. Respect.” In another life, maybe her and you could have been friends. Maybe.

“So you’re really… leaving?” Daniela’s lower lip is slightly jutted into a little pout. “I… who will I use to get on Cassandra’s nerves, now?”

“I’d say it’s been nice, but.” you speak up between pants, birthing forth puffs of smoke. “I was taken from my home and sent here as a slave, so.” You can’t help the bitter grimace.

Cassandra’s chest is heaving, yet she isn’t looking at you. It doesn’t look like she has anything to say to you, either. But you have words for her, because you need to get this out at last, you need to be free of this weight or you will never really have escaped this nightmare.

“Even as your captive, you know what I fucking thought? You three can be so beautiful when you toy with the idea of basic human empathy. I don’t know what you saw our time as, Cassandra, but I was genuinely attracted to you. I wanted to be together with you. At some point, I was even happy!”

You’ve inhaled so much icy air your lungs probably won’t be doing great for very much longer but God, this is so cathartic. And so enraging that she’s not meeting your eyes now, at the very end of it all.

“Look at me! I care for you, deeply, but I can’t do this anymore! I don’t want to live in a cage as a pretty sacrifice, with you as my jailer. I can’t. You don’t know how psychologically destructive it is. You don’t know what it feels like!” you end with a hitched shout.

You hear the ominous sound of heavy heels hurriedly descending the staircase. “By Miranda! What is going on— Cassandra?!”

All three daughters freeze up for a moment.

Then Daniela touches her head as though she’s having a migraine and Bela shuts her eyes tightly, shoulders tensed. And Cassandra… drops on her knees to the floor, gasping for oxygen, clutching at her temples.

Bela shakes her head to snap out of it. Daniela still looks dazed and afraid… but Cassandra is nearly crying—

And then, in her panic attack, she whispers; “Don’t abandon me like they did, Alexia.”

You don’t know who she means or what you’re doing, until you’ve dashed back inside and gathered her chilled form into your arms, tight. You keep her there like you wish someone had held you during your storms. It doesn’t matter that you’re so much weaker than Cassandra, when what haunts her is too powerful even for her to face.

Alcina extends her claws as she advances on you.

You could probably still get away if you make a run for it, but where will you even go, when your heart is right here with the woman in your arms? The world beyond the village died for you a long time ago. The village died in a literal sense.

You wanted to be free. But freedom and being with her aren’t mutually exclusive. Why did it take me this long to figure it out…?

Alcina is too close now. You turn to kiss Cassandra’s hair for what may be the last time. You do not let go.

Bela and Daniela step in front of you.

Alcina gives them a warning, narrowed look.

“Uh— you know what, I just stepped forward because I saw Bela move. Haha, nevermind.” The redhead retreats once more. Maybe you’d roll your eyes at her if you weren’t bracing for your execution.

“Bela… step aside.” Lady Dimitrescu’s tone leaves no room for disobedience.

The eldest daughter lowers her head and hesitantly opens the path, as well.

Alcina casts a deep shadow over you in her massive height and giant claws. You lock eyes with her briefly, with the last, flickering cinders of your courage. Then you shift your face down into Cassandra’s shoulder and prepare to be skewered through. Her fingers clutch you almost painfully close to her.

“As for you…” there’s a growl in Alcina’s voice that makes you cower in terror.

Except...

The horrible pain you expected takes a little too long to come.

“…you have backbone, little human, I will admit.” Is that… is that a smirk you hear in her tone? “And my daughters do seem to want you around…”

…What?

Cassandra slowly pulls away from you to look up at her in disbelief and you dare to open your eyes. The claws are still uncomfortably close to your face.

“I will take responsibility for the damage, mother. Just, please, let her stay with me.” Cassandra says.

“…Hm. Very well. I expect the windows repaired by dinner.” Alcina gracefully pivots and just like that, takes her leave.

You and the sisters are left there, unbreathing, unmoving, wondering what just happened.

“Too cold. See you at dinner.” Daniela is the first to speak up. She rapidly waves and disappears like she’s being hunted by an army.

Bela glances at you, then at her middle sister. “We need to talk. But later. For now, defrost.” She, too, disperses in a swarm of flies.

Cassandra, uncharacteristically vulnerable, looks into your eyes and brings a crystalline hand to your cheek. The soft way she does it, it may as well be the apology she is too proud to voice. You both lean towards each other, resting your foreheads together.

You have a lot to talk about. But there is time.

[jaybird-redhood]

propinquity

wc: 2.2k

pairing: jason todd // gn reader

The first thing you think when you see him for the first time is that he has the cutest smile.

That’s a lie, the first thing you think it that he is so incredibly in shape, and it looks great on him, but the smile thing sounds better in your head.

He's moving into the apartment across from yours a month after you moved into yours. Weird, because the two people in your building closest to your age are 2 and 63, respectively.

You suppose that some wicked twist of fate must’ve brought this upon you for missing your cousin’s birthday party last week, because the guy standing across from you is crazy hot. And looking right at you. And you are in the huge neon Wonder Woman t-shirt that your best friend got for your birthday last year.

Yeah. Karma.

“Nice shirt,” the guy offers, holding in a grin. “You’re really making it work.”

“I-”

“See you around, neighbor.”

And with a shut of a door and an awfully charismatic smirk he’s gone.

The next time you see him is a week later, and this time- luckily, you think- you’re dressed somewhat put together. You run into him while unlocking your door.

"What's got you in a twist?" he asks.

"Um," you start, "I just. Ugh I have so much to do. Like 3 hours of homework, a lecture tomorrow that I cannot skip, and I'm completely out of bread and eggs and can't even you to the store until, like, Thursday at best."

Once you start rambling you can't seem to stop. You slouch against your door. You're not entirely sure why you're telling a stranger all this, but he seems to be listening, so you suppose that’s a good sign

"I get the feeling," he offers, and you look up at him. "I'm majoring in English Lit and my classes are kind of kicking my ass."

You give him a small smile, "Glad to know someone in this building is struggling as much as I am."

"Jason," he says, and he reaches his hand out to you. "My name."

You shake it and tell him yours.

As you both turn back into your respective apartments you think that he maybe isn't as intimidating as you thought.

~

The next day goes by with a really boring lecture and another 3 hours of work you need to do.

The ride home from uni isn't that long, but it's long enough for you to contemplate all the ways that your life went wrong after moving to Gotham. And, maybe as payback for thinking mean things about the city, rain that you think should belong to a category 3 hurricane starts to whip around your car 10 minutes into your drive.

Your clothes are dripping water in literal puddles by the time you get back to your apartment.

Groaning, you start fishing for your keys in your purse while walking up the last flight of stairs.

When you get to your door you stop. Right in front of it there’s a grocery bag. Picking it up and looking inside you see a loaf of bread and a small carton of milk.

You pick it up smiling.

“Jason?” you ask, knocking on his door.

No response.

You shrug and turn around. Remember to thank him the next time you run into each other; you think.

~

That next time doesn’t happen to be that long and thank goodness for you.

“You know, we really need to stop meeting like this,” he says to you.

You’re sitting on the floor outside of your door looking rather pathetic, and he’s giving you the most awful smirk you’ve ever seen. (Not that it looks bad on him though. You seem to think that nothing could really look that bad on him)

“I swear I’m usually more put together than this,” you sigh to him. “You moving here jinxed me!”

“Yeah yeah. You’re locked out, aren’t you?”

You give him your best withering I’m going to kill you stare, but it must not be working because he just laughs even harder at you.

“This is completely not my fault it’s just I lost my second set of keys like right when I moved in and then today when I got home, I accidentally left them in my car, but my second set of car keys is in my apartment so now I can’t get them out, stop laughing at me!”

“God you’re a mess,” Jason says- finally finished laughing at you and maybe taking a bit of pity on how disheveled you look. “You couldn’t call anyone to get you in?”

You shake your head.

“My friend is the only other person with a set, but they’re out of town, and our landlord is being a dick and telling me it’s my fault in the first place, so I need to deal with it. I’ve been sitting out here for like an hour.”

“All I’m hearing is that it is your fault and now you’re just moping about it feeling bad about yourself.”

You tilt your head against the door so hard that it makes you wince a bit.

“Ok fine,” he says crossing his arms.

“What?”

“Wait right here.”

He goes into his apartment and comes back out with a skinny metal thing you don’t recognize.

You look at him in confusion and he just motions for you to scoot out of the way as he sticks it in your locks and starts to pick it.

You sigh in relief.

“Thank you thank you thank you. For everything. I swear I will get my life together, so you don’t feel like you have to keep cleaning up my messes.

“I don’t mind,” he says with a small smile, “Take your time.”

And with that he opens the door to your apartment and turns back to his.

“By the way, you should really get better locks. That was way too easy.”

You make a note in your head to get that done sometime. As you’re lying on your couch that night, you’re AirDropped a photo on your phone. Saving it up you see it’s a piece of paper with neat handwriting on it: a phone number and a smiley face, Jason’s name at the bottom.

You smile too and add the number to your contacts.

~

Over the next few weeks, you and Jason start talking more, both over text and through the various times when you run into each other outside your doors.

Each interaction is better than the next, and you soon start to realize that Jason isn’t just some hot guy with no brains. He’s sweet and charismatic, has a whole wall full of bookshelves, could probably quote any classical novel by heart, has incredibly good taste in music, and best (or worst) of all, would make incredible friend material.

It’s just that as you become closer friends, you start to realize that that might not be all you want.

It’s a stupidly cold Friday morning when he texts you, and you’re covered in blankets and wrapped in sweatshirts in your bed. Movie at my place tonight?

You text back your approval and a quick be there at 6 before getting ready for classes.

The day goes by slower than you hoped.

It might be the anticipation of seeing Jason again, or more likely the hours of lectures you have to sit through, but you’re elated when your final class for the day gets let out.

The hours in between are a blur.

A blur which leads to the two of you sitting on his couch watching Romeo and Juliet together, a blanket thrown over your bodies.

You have the obligatory bowl of popcorn resting on your legs, and every few minutes Jason reaches across your lap to take a handful.

The way you’re laying half on top on him is completely deliberate, as to take as much of his body heat as possible. Your landlord had turned off heating 3 weeks prior to ‘save money’ or some other bullshit.

Jason’s not complaining though.

Once your popcorn bowl is finished and your head is in his lap, he runs his fingers through your hair absentmindedly. It might be the nicest feeling you’ve ever felt.

Throughout the movie you exchange snide comments about the plot back and forth. You start trying to say funny things whenever you can just to hear how sweet his laugh sounds to your ears.

By the end of the movie, you’re only slightly in tears, or so you tell yourself.

“Are you crying right now?” Jason asks incredulously, wearing a teasing smile.

“It’s not my fault,” you half say half moan, “Leonardo DiCaprio just has that effect on me.”

He just laughs and pulls you upright until you’re sitting on his lap.

His eyes are a shade of blue green that you’ve never seen before, although you could swear their getting greener by the second.

You watch his gaze drop down to your lips before staring you right in the eyes again.

“Can I kiss you?”

“God yes,” you tell him, and kiss him right back.

~

The next week is somewhat uneventful, even though you and Jason had been meeting each other almost every night, rotating apartments based on whose house was warmer each particular night.

Tonight is your night, and you’ve been waiting the whole day to show him the film you had rented to watch together.

The walk up to your door is easier than usual, and you have a bounce in your step that’s making you feel even more elated than normal taking out your keys to unlock your apartment.

You open your door and your bag drops. The keys clatter when they hit the hardwood, and the silence that follows is deafening.

“You’re bleeding on my carpet,” is the first thing that comes out of your mouth.

There Jason is, bleeding quite profusely, and using your kitchen counter to keep himself vertical. He’s wearing what looks to be a torn half of a domino mask and an extremely hot leather jacket.

(Not that this was the time for noticing his fashion choices, but you filed that thought away for later.)

What really catches your eye though is the huge red bat symbol on his chest, and the red helmet next to it sitting on your counter.

He shifts a little to the side before stumbling through saying, “Um, so, I know this isn’t ideal and I’m really sorry to put you in this situation, but I seriously do not feel like bleeding out tonight and-”

“Oh my god this is great,” you cut him off with. “I thought you were a hit-man!”

“Wait what.”

“Shit no that’s not what I meant- kind of, hang on we should probably stop you from dying before having this conversation.”

You walk over to him to get a better look at his wounds.

“God Jace, you look like death warmed over.”

He just stares at you.

“You have a bunch of stuff in your bathroom, right?”

At least this elicits a reaction. He grimaces in pain but gives you a nod of his head in conformation.

“Ok I’ll be right back, don’t move.”

He gives you a look that says seriously, where would I go.

3 minutes later you’re back with a needle and thread, and some sterilizing spray.

“This should be fine,” you tell him, “I took a first aid class last year with my friends and passed with flying colors according to the nurse.”

“Just try to keep them tight and neat. I trust you,” he says, and your heart pounds just a little harder.

You respond with a nervous laugh but take a deep breath and start working.

~

An hour and a half later you’re done.

The combination of pain meds, bandages, and a whole lot of stitches eventually led to you and Jason laying in your bed together, both completely exhausted.

He turns his head to face you.

“Could we maybe go back to the hit-man thing?”

“Oh uh. Well I saw a bunch of shirts covered in blood in your laundry in the bathroom, not to mention all the weirdly specific first-aid you had,” you tell him.

“And also the assorted guns and knives you have hidden all over. I guess I just assumed? But the whole Red Hood thing is so much better,” you reassure him.

“You found all my knives?”

You smile up at him.

“I love that that’s thing you chose to focus on.”

“And you’re really not mad that I didn’t tell you about the whole vigilante thing before?” he asks.

“Jay, I had already resigned myself to life forever with some shady hit-man that also happened to be incredibly good looking. Red Hood is ten times better than that. I’m not going to run away from you just because you’re incredibly intimidating and probably could kill me. I see that as an added bonus,” you say, with as much charm as you can muster without yawning.

“Just. Be careful, ok? I’d hate to make this a routine.”

He responds by pulling you closer to his body.

“I promise,” he whispers into your head. “You really to remember to get better locks by the way, breaking in was still way too easy.”

You let out a small laugh and finally you let yourself give into sleep.

[theres-a-goldensky]

30 More The Untamed Fic Recs

Here we go again. Another Wangxian rec list. Are you bored of me yet?

Were these recs helpful to you? If so, you can check out my other Wangxian rec posts:

Part 1 - 40 recs

Part 2 - 23 recs

Part 3 - 23 recs

As ever, feel free to reblog.

You can also head over to my bookmarks on AO3.

(All recs are complete) (I’ve noted pairings, length, and rating, but not any warnings or additional tags.)

** denotes personal favorite

1. say it's here where our pieces fall in place by Lirelyn - ~69,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Lan Zhan meets Wei Wuxian after he adopts a small A-Yuan, because Wei Wuxian also has a past with him. Lots of adorable family feelings and emotional hurt/comfort.

As often happened, Wei Ying’s voice preceded his entrance, calling to his co-worker through the open door, “Frankie, they forgot to order spoons again, can you hold down the fort a little longer while I —”

Lan Wangji was already looking to his entrance, head turning as if magnetized toward the voice, so he saw the moment when Wei Ying’s eyes landed on A-Yuan and the smile fell from his face. He looked stricken, and Lan Wangji immediately looked to his son in alarm. A-Yuan seemed fine. His small eyebrows were pulled together in a small frown as he looked back at Wei Ying, but that wasn’t surprising, given the expression on Wei Ying’s face. Lan Wangji had seen that face beaming, laughing, whining, wheedling, and occasionally angry, but never like this. He looked blank and hollow and it stirred something fierce in Lan Wangji: he wanted to rise up and obliterate whatever was making him look like that. Then his eyes lifted to Lan Wangji and there was a flash of something almost like betrayal, before he pressed his lips together and turned his back.

“I’m going to run out to the store and get spoons,” he said in a flat voice to his co-worker, and left without looking their way again.

2. the breaking of your soul (upon my lips) by sunsandships - ~41,000 words, mature - This is an AU of the novel where Wei Wuxian puts two and two together when Lan Zhan sneaks that kiss from him. It changes a lot of things.

Against his own will, Wei Wuxian found himself glancing at Lan Wangji’s hands. They were… certainly large enough that one of them could wrap around both of his wrists. And Lan Wangji was certainly strong enough, tall enough, broad-shouldered enough to bodily pin him against the trunk of a tree with no chance of him breaking free. Lan Wangji was the first person he’d come across in his slow comb through the vicinity of where he’d been so headily kissed.

Wei Wuxian drew a sharp breath. There was a connection to be made here. He didn’t think he was crazy enough to make it. Perhaps he truly was going slightly insane with demonic cultivation if he could believe Lan Wangji, the paragon of virtue and respectability, who lived unflinchingly under Gusu Lan’s three thousand edicts, who had at best only tolerated his presence as children, would sneak up to him while he was blindfolded, pin him against a tree, and steal a kiss from him in broad daylight.

3. and his wanting grows teeth by yukla - ~25,000 words, teen - This is a very interesting AU where Lan Zhan is a traveling cultivator and runs into Wei Wuxian and the Jiangs looking for shelter during a snowstorm. No spoilers, but this fic goes to a pretty dark place that genuinely shocked me, but I enjoyed. (Still ends well though.)

Without further ado, they are hustled past the entrance and into a smaller greeting area. Huang-bobo approaches the brazier in the center with his hands outstretched, warming his fingers in the heat, but Lan Wangji hangs back. As he carefully brushes the snow free from his shoulders, he feels the burn of a curious gaze trailing up and down his body, lingering at the guqin still strapped to his back; when the sensation pauses at his face and stays there, he lifts his head.

The boy with the ribbon lights up at the eye contact, flashes another dazzling smile, and gives a little wave.

“You must be new here,” he whispers, something like laughter threaded into his voice, eyes scrunching into winking half-moons. “All dressed up in white like that! You might lose yourself in the snowstorm!”

Something stirs to life in Lan Wangji’s chest. It’s—uncomfortable, he decides, and so he steps away. Teasing should not be encouraged with a response.

4. Ghosts Shouldn't by ShanaStoryteller - ~15,000 words, not rated - After Wei Ying's death, his spirit seems to linger. The story is told from Lan Xichen's point of view. I love an outsider point of view. I also love the way the author fleshes out his character as well.

Lan Xichen means to force his way inside, angry ghost of the Yiling Patriarch or no, but then his brother lets out slow breath, settling, the pain easing from his face as he falls back into a more peaceful sleep.

His hair is moving on its own, so subtly Lan Xichen might not have noticed it if he hadn’t been looking at Wangji so intently. It’s like someone’s running their hand through his hair.

The window frosts over suddenly, thick enough that he can’t see through it. Anxiety spikes through him so quickly he’s nauseous with it, but then the frost melts away and the opening notes of Healing start up again.

He can’t tell if it’s a warning or not. Maybe it’s just an acknowledgement. Wei Wuxian knows he’s there.

5. **leading tone by silencemostofall - ~32,000 words, general - This is a modern AU set in a world where people who love you leave a mark of color on you the first time you touch. Wei Wuxian has no color on him. So much emotional hurt/comfort. So much of Wei Wuxian's terrible self-esteem.

He can cover up his palms with his gloves, so that the blankness does not draw stares. But he has no marks on his fingertips, which he cannot easily hide, and none visible on his face or neck, the blankness of which is even more difficult to hide. People look at him and, with a single glance, understand the single most devastating truth that he knows about himself.

They assume that he does not have very many marks. He may be an eccentric, dramatic person, but the likelihood that an individual has all of their marks on, say, their feet or their torso or other places that are not immediately obvious-- that probability goes down as your number of marks increases. He can laugh as much as he wants about how he loves touching people for the first time with odd places, like the knee or the elbow, but it doesn't quite mask the feeling of other that he knows he exudes.

They assume that he does not have a lot of marks. This, while a heavy weight, is not unbearably so. It is okay that they think he is not much loved. It chafes a bit, and feels occasionally like something he has to furiously push down within himself, but it is not unbearable. What would be unbearable is if they knew the truth: that he does not just have very few marks, but none. That he is simply an individual who is not loved at all.

6. **pastel by antebunny - ~7,000 words, gen - This is a remix work of the above fic. It's from Lan Zhan's point of view and just different enough to be interesting. Still lots of emotional hurt/comfort. I love this concept a whole lot, and both of these fics are great.

It’s a simmering day in May, and Wei Ying is wearing long sleeves, long pants, and gloves.

His choice of dress isn’t unusual for many reasons. For one, there’s plenty of people who don’t like strangers seeing their soulmarks. There’s plenty of people who wish to keep them private by covering them up. For another, Wei Ying spends most of his day in various chilly computer science department rooms, He could just be wearing long sleeves for that.

7. one good thing by Yuu_chi - ~27,000 words, teen - Wei Wuxian has died (or did he??) and is haunting his old home. Lan Zhan moves in. This story has a happy ending! And so much yearning!

To the flowers struggling to grow on the other side of the glass, he says, “We’re getting a new roommate. Well, I’m getting a new roommate - you’re getting somebody who might actually be able to water you for a change.” The flowers outside sway a little in the breeze, and Wei Wuxian nods contemplatively. “He can’t be any worse than the last guy who lived here. Remember when I spooked him while he was cooking and he nearly burnt the house down? Of course you don’t. You’re fucking foliage, your memory is worse than mine. I remember though, so it’s cool.”

There’s the sound of shuffling behind him and Wei Wuxian looks up to see the stranger has entered the kitchen, setting the last of the boxes down on the table. Disgustingly neat handwriting declares the box kitchen - homeware. The stranger carefully brushes his hair back from his face and, without so much as a second of hesitation, cracks open the box and begins unpacking.

“Wow, you really don’t waste any time, do you?” Wei Wuxian marvels. “You literally just got here - who cares about unpacking? Sit down for a moment, breathe, have something to eat. It’s not going anywhere.”

8. with you, I am home by tellthemstories - ~47,000 words, mature - Modern AU where Wei Wuxian is being forced to return home to entertain marriage proposals. So naturally instead he "convinces" Lan Zhan to pretend to date him. I love a good fake dating fic, and this one hits all the right beats.

Lan Zhan does that almost-smile thing that Wei Wuxian takes to mean he’s happy, or at the very least not-mad. “You don’t have any money.”

“Not true. I have the money from our last job, when we settled the vengeful spirit for the flower shop girl.” (He doesn’t. They have Lan Zhan’s money. Wei Wuxian spent his on a pack of loquats and three bottles of Emperor’s Smile wine.)

“Fine,” Wei Wuxian says. “Do it for me.”

Thinking back on it two weeks later, standing alone in the middle of Jin Ling’s graduation banquet and watching Lan Zhan walk away from him, Wei Wuxian realises that this, this was the moment when he should have known. He should have realised in the way Lan Zhan doesn’t hesitate or negotiate and just says with that half-fond, half-exasperated tone he gets sometimes, “Fine.”

9. and in the spring i shed my skin by wvlfqveen - ~11,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Wei Ying can't find Lan Zhan, but hey, there happens to be a rabbit here instead. Features a very slow Wei Ying, emotional hurt/comfort and accidental love confessions.

Immediately, his heart settles and he grins down at his new friend. “Oh, hello there,” he coos, reaching out to pet the fluffy ears. The bunny is very, very still under his hand.

“Did Lan Zhan bring you today?,” he continues cooing. “I’m sorry I missed that, but your Dad didn’t tell me he was bringing you.”

Lan Zhan rarely brings his rabbits to work since they are as tolerant of crowds and unnecessary noise as he is. They were probably relevant to today’s lesson but…

Wei Ying frowns. “Why would he leave you alone? And where is your cage?”

10. how, or when, or from where by sarahyyy - ~10,000 words, gen - Wei Ying wakes up in the hospital with amnesia and can't remember the last few years of his life, including his best friend and the guy he's in love with.

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes so hard Wei Wuxian is surprised his eyeballs don’t just fall out of his eye sockets. “That’s the worst part. He did. Whatever mating ritual you both have going on is so fucking weird, Wei Wuxian.” He snorts. “If you’d stayed asleep for any longer, I’d have lost my shit and thrown my myself out a window just so I wouldn’t have to talk to Lan Wangji again.”

Wei Wuxian blinks at him. “Is this a good time to ask who Lan Wangji is?”

Jiang Cheng glares at him. “Your Lan Zhan,” he says, annoyed. Wei Wuxian must look as confused as he feels, because Jiang Cheng’s annoyance bleeds out into concern. “Your Lan er-gege? Your soulmate, Lan Wangji?”

Wei Wuxian shakes his head. “No bells are ringing.”

11. ** a shared plate by yukla - ~26,000 words, teen - This is an absolutely gorgeous fic about Wei Wuxian traveling the world post-canon to rediscover himself and restore his faith in humanity and eventually find his way back to Lan Zhan. The whole thing is great, but the last two chapters are just *chef's kiss*

Lan Zhan,

Just as the mountains stand unchanging and the green rivers flow ceaselessly, we will meet again — and between then and now, you cannot hope to avoid my letters, either! Haha! Lan Zhan, I’ve seen so many things and met so many people, and it’s only been a month!

I miss you already

It’s so hot that I find myself missing the wind in Gusu’s mountains. Your poor Wei Ying is I’m melting away, Lan Zhan...

I’m realizing now, sixteen years is a long time to be away — the world is vast, and quite a bit different than I remembered. And in sixteen years, a child can also grow up into a man! It’s your job to catch me up on A-Yuan’s fun childhood stories! I do remember hearing something about a pile of rabbits...

12. with your arms outstretched to me by annemari - ~14,000 words, teen - Lan Zhan finally gets up the nerve to ask Wei Ying on a date, but things don't go as expected. Features emotional hurt/comfort (are we sensing a theme with these recs??) and just regular hurt/comfort.

"Oh, man, I was hoping you had some water with you," Wei Ying says. "I totally forgot to bring any for myself. Stupid of me."

"There is enough for both of us," Lan Wangji says. He has another bigger bottle in the car, as well.

Wei Ying hums but he only takes a few sips. He presses it back into Lan Wangji's hand. "I don't need any more."

Lan Wangji is considering arguing, but then Wei Ying shifts a bit, moving his ankle, and gasps very, very quietly.

13. ** A Lot of Edges Called Perhaps by hansbekhart - ~22,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian has finished traveling and returned to the Cloud Recesses and Lan Zhan. But their lives never do run smoothly.

“Lan Jingyi,” Wei Wuxian says, recognizing him after a moment. His heart slams against his rib cage. “Where is Lan Zhan? What’s happened?”

Lan Jingyi flaps a hand at him, gulping air. Wei Wuxian hands him the water, and leans back against Little Apple’s side as he waits impatiently for the boy to get his breath back.

“I’m so glad I found you,” Jingyi gasps, just as Wei Wuxian is about to throttle a proper answer out of him. “Hanguang Jun was in such a state when he woke up, we didn’t know if you’d come and gone already.”

“Where is he, Jingyi,” Wei Wuxian says, as evenly as he can. “What happened?”

14. So Why Not Crack Your Skull When the Mind Swells by greenteafiend - ~14,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel extraordinary pain unless he's touching Lan Zhan. Yet more of Wei Wuxian's self-esteem issues and Lan Zhan's steadfast devotion.

“Are you hurt, Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji asks, pressing his hand to Wei Ying’s forehead to feel his temperature. There is no fever, but that doesn’t do much to mitigate Lan Wangji’s worries.

“No—I’m not hurt,” says Wei Ying, sagging forward to lean his weight into Lan Wangji’s hand like he can’t help himself.

It’s so strange—Lan Wangji can feel what Wei Ying is feeling. Although the relief is still very profound, wisps of other things are making themselves known; happiness; wistfulness; guilt. It’s all so fleeting that Lan Wangji can’t even begin to deduce what has provoked those feelings, but he wishes he knew their source.

15. puzzle pieces by Anonymous - ~6,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are roommates, and Wei Ying has started borrowing Lan Zhan's clothes.

“Hm? Oh.” With sleepy eyes that does— things to Lan Zhan’s heart, he blinks and tugs at the lower hem of the shirt, which is riding just above the curve of his thighs. Does Lan Zhan’s mouth water? Maybe. Yes. Absolutely. “Ah, yeah, sorry. Laundry day caught up to me before I could catch up with it. I saw this shirt left in the washer a few days ago, and—“ He blinks up at Lan Zhan through dark eyelashes that Lan Zhan wants to kiss, maybe, and gives him an uncharacteristically hesitant smile. “Do you mind?”

I mind the fact that we are not married, Lan Zhan thinks. But he can’t say that, and his tongue doesn’t know how to say anything else. So he stays silent.

“Oh,” Wei Ying says after a moment. “If you—oh, damn, I should’ve known, this is like real silk, must’ve been super expensive. Fuck. Okay, here, uh, I’ll take it off—“

16. ** Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl - ~60,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Wei Ying is trying to be a good brother and get Jiang Cheng laid. Somehow this plan involves pretending to date Lan Zhan.

"I won't!" Wei Ying insists. "I'll ask out someone...high stakes. I'll find someone. I'll...okay, how's this? I swear that I'll ask someone out and keep at it for at least two dates."

"No."

"Three dates."

"Nope."

"Okay, okay, five. That's fair! That's more than fair! One person, five dates." He points at Jiang Cheng. "You have to do it, too. That's how a pact works."

Jiang Cheng stares at him. "Five dates," he says flatly. "Five. And yours can't be Nie Huaisang."

17. i'm the one for your fire by occultings (microcomets) - ~43,000 words, explicit - This is a Modern AU and a Cherry Magic AU! (Side note: GO WATCH CHERRY MAGIC IF YOU HAVEN'T.) But in short, Wei Ying turns 30 without losing his virginity and gets the power to hear people's thoughts when he touches them. He gets more than he bargained for with Lan Zhan. The author does a good job of translating the story to these characters. Wei Ying is not forced to be like Adachi, the main character of Cherry Magic. He's still himself, and the same goes for Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan’s voice is so clear, so sudden that it’s as though it’s spoken, the slice of a sharp object through velvet.

He’s touching me.

Wei Ying startles for a moment, wonders if he’d somehow heard his own thoughts instead, but — no, that had definitely been Lan Zhan’s steady, factual baritone, loud and clear.

God, this is still so weird. It still doesn’t seem totally real. But how else can he account for hearing Lan Zhan’s voice in his head, as clearly as if he’d spoken to Wei Ying directly?

18. like blue flame over my fingertips by tangerinechar - ~37,000 words, teen - Modern AU where Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are roommates, and Lan Zhan just finds himself wanting to take care of Wei Ying.

Lan Wangji’s roommate. Is a problem.

He doesn’t get an answer to the roommate problem until the next morning, when Lan Xichen texts him telling him that the apartment he’d suggested (and helped pay rent for) to Lan Wangji said in the small text that it’d be two people per apartment, the second bedroom wasn’t actually a guest bedroom, sorry, Wangji, you can move in with me if you want, I have space —

No. Thank you for your kind offer, Brother, but I will be quite fine, Lan Wangji texts back.

19. ** some impulse of delight by handclaps - ~20,000 words, explicit - College AU where Wei Ying decides he needs to help Lan Zhan get used to touching people. Lan Zhan agrees. Wei Ying is dumb and in love. Lan Zhan is less dumb, but still as in love.

Lan Zhan shakes his head and fumbles, tries to push the cotton wool into Wei Wuxian’s hand.

“Sorry,” Wei Wuxian says, realising. “Touching people, I know.”

He feels dumb. He thought he’d worn Lan Zhan down more than this, that they were friends now and that his whole no touching thing was mostly overcome. He took Wei Wuxian’s hand easily, right? He looks down at his belly full of scratches, dabbing at them moodily.

“Sorry,” he says, again.

Lan Zhan makes some kind of noise, but he is busy packing the first aid kit back, placing everything exactly where it was before.

“Lan Zhan, you’re going to have to do something about this,” Wei Wuxian complains. “I know you don’t like touching people and usually it plays as a kind of gentlemanly thing, but what about emergencies?”

20. And I Will Call You Home by Spodumene - ~43,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian returns after a year of traveling and rejoins Lan Zhan in the Cloud Recesses. He's doing a good job of pining and ignoring the obvious. Look, at this point, it shouldn't be a surprise that I'm a sucker for stories where Wei Wuxian deals with his ~*~issues~*~ and Lan Zhan takes care of him, whether he asks for it or not. This story has lots of that. I also enjoyed the case fic aspect of it.

“I do, I think,” Wei Wuxian admits. “Would be nice to see his face again after so long. And at least this time, I’m going to show up draped in finery. What do you think, Lan Zhan? I can’t possibly disgrace him—or you—wearing a cloak like that.”

“You could never disgrace me,” Lan Wangji says gently, that soft, affectionate look back on his face.

Wei Wuxian grins, warmed to the tips of his toes.

“I’ll remind you of that later. The next time I’m three jars deep and feeling especially shameless, you’ll have to remember those words, Lan Er-gege.”

“Of course,” Lan Wangji says simply.

Wei Wuxian smiles some more, overwhelmed by fondness.

21. darling, am i a chore? by martyrsdaughter - ~7,000 words, explicit - Wei Wuxian really, really wants Lan Zhan to call him 'gege'. Lan Zhan knows a trump card when he sees one.

“You know what I want,” Wei Wuxian purrs, reaching up on his tiptoes to throw his arms over Lan Wangji’s shoulders. “Call me gege, won’t you? Call me and I’ll stop.”

Lan Wangji knows he will not stop, regardless of what he calls him. Still, he thinks about it. If there really is a way to make Wei Wuxian stop, should he not consider it? He doesn’t have any real interest in curbing his husband’s insatiable mischievousness, but he does like knowing things about him—everything there is to know.

If there’s something that persuasive in the world, that it can bring Wei Wuxian into submission when no one is under threat, could he stop himself from seeking it?

22. your name, safe in their mouth by astrolesbian - ~11,000 words, gen - Wei Wuxian & Lan Sizhui fic with the Wangxian in the background. Lan Sizhui wants another dad and Wei Wuxian wants a son, they just don't know how to explain that to each other.

“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”

Lan Sizhui tucks his chin into his uncle’s shoulder, and lets his eyes fall closed.

“It doesn’t hurt too much, does it?” Wen Ning whispers to him kindly.

Lan Sizhui takes a deep breath, and takes stock of all his aches, his ringing ear, his hollow chest, the way he had selfishly wanted Wei Wuxian to keep speaking to him in that careful voice, like he was just a child to be soothed and there was no real danger. How dangerous, to pretend. “No,” he lies. “It doesn’t hurt that much at all.”

23. when you're doing all the leaving (then it's never your love lost) by tardigradeschool - ~26,000 words, teen - AU where Lan Zhan with Wei Wuxian to Jin Ling's one-month celebration. Things go down, and it leads to Lan Zhan discovering Wei Wuxian's missing golden core. This obviously will not do, and oh look, the best doctor in the world just happens to be right here.

“How—“ Lan Wangji chokes. “His core —?” He looks at Wen Ning, half accusatory in his shock. “Jin Zixun could not have—“

“No, no!” Wen Ning says, holding out his hands. “He hasn’t had one for years, don’t worry!”

This is not as reassuring as Wen Ning seems to think.

“Please explain,” Lan Wangji says, pained. He feels for Wei Wuxian’s pulse instead; in the absence of a golden core, it will have to do as reassurance that he’s still alive.

Wen Ning is so anxious that the story comes out in a ramble, out of order. Lan Wangji wants him to hurry up, but he’s also not confident in his own ability to speak, so he just keeps quiet and lets him talk. His heart feels as if it’s about to fall from his chest, beating nearly twice as fast as Wei Wuxian’s does under his fingers.

24. A Match in the Making by lareine - ~30,000 words, teen - A Modern AU where Wei Wuxian sees his single and bad ass friend Lan Zhan and his single and bad ass friend Mianmian and gets some very dumb ideas.

To return to the point: Lan Zhan was peak adulting. Mianmian was peak adulting. And if they were both at the peak, then they were on the same level. What level? That mysterious level thing that everyone mentioned when it came to dating.

Whatever level it was, Lan Zhan and Mianmian were on it together. Wei Ying nodded to himself. So, Lan Zhan and Mianmian were allowed to date each other. The next question was: were they compatible? Did they have chemistry or whatever the fuck people called it?

25. Crack me open, pour you out by Tenillypo - ~16,000 words, explicit - Lan Zhan gets cursed to say whatever he's thinking. So his worst nightmare. Mutual pining, first time, all good stuff.

Lan Wangji freezes with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth, lifting his eyes to stare at Wei Ying.

"I know! Just completely paralyzed." Wei Ying mimes being still as a board. "I don't know how long I lay there. It must have been two days at least. Good thing for Little Apple. He wandered back to the village when he got hungry, and eventually a few of them got brave enough to come look for me. When they rolled me over, the figure fell out of my hand and I could move again. Cunning little thing." He shakes his head. "I was weak as a kitten for a little while after they took me back to the village, and by the time I recovered, they'd burned the whole place to the ground. Such a waste."

Lan Wangji slowly lowers his chopsticks, heart racing unpleasantly. In his head, a picture of Wei Ying slowly wasting to death alone in the middle of the woods, with Lan Wangji a hundred miles away and none the wiser.

26. Crazy, Rich Cultivators by ShanaStoryteller - 13,000 words, no rating - Lan Zhan wants to bring his boyfriend home to meet his family. There are some things he definitely didn't realize about Wei Ying.

“He has a life here,” he says down the line. He doesn’t say that he has a life here too, one he likes a lot more than the one he had before. He misses home. He’d miss Wei Ying more. But he doesn’t say that, doesn’t say how vibrant he is and how beautiful and how little interest Lan Zhan has at seeing him among the high society he grew up with.

“Well, your life is here, Wangji,” his brother says. “You can’t stay away from home forever. You’re going to have to see how he does with the rest of us sooner or later. It might as well be sooner.”

It might as well be never, as far as he’s concerned. His family can meet Wei Ying at their wedding.

“I’ll ask,” he says.

Wei Ying has no interest in cultivation politics. They’re horrible, the five clans have an iron tight alliance that’s thirty seconds away from collapsing in on itself the moment someone from one sect steps on another sect’s toes. It’s the worst and he hates it. Surely even just the idea of it will be so horrifying to Wei Ying that Lan Zhan will be able to tell his brother no.

27. just our hands clasped so tight by electrum ~4,000 words, teen - Lan Zhan really, really, really just wants to give Wei Ying everything he wants.

“Despite your best efforts,” Wei Wuxian agrees. He shakes his head in mock-dismay. “How much longer do you think that will last if you keep buying everything I look at?” When this, too, fails to soften Lan Zhan’s resolve, he tries a different tactic. “We couldn’t even afford potatoes,” he says. “Back when I was with the Wens, at the Burial Mounds. Only radishes! If I survived that, I can certainly survive without another pretty comb.”

Lan Zhan’s expression is at once unmoved and yet somehow stricken. “I would have bought Wei Ying potatoes,” he says, like Wei Wuxian doesn’t know, by this point, that Lan Zhan would buy him anything. “If I had known…”

28. ** Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller - ~64,000 words, no rating - Jin Ling & Wei Wuxian with Wangxian in the background. Jin Ling is the best boy! And as he tries to rehabilitate his sect and his family and keep himself alive at the same time, he realizes, horrifyingly, that he has to be the mature one.

29. ** an act too often neglected by Ariaste - Lan Xichen / Meng Yao, ~61,000 words, explicit - The Wangxian is in the background here, but the main story is about Lan Xichen meeting Meng Yao on a dating app and getting immediately dickmatized. Meanwhile. Meng Yao refuses to be won over by Lan Xichen's charm. It goes as well as you'd expect for him.

The caption below is equally sparse: “5’6. Demanding.”

Lan Xichen feels a low simmer of arousal kindle in the pit of his stomach, and he gazes at that word-- demanding --for nearly as long as he’d stared at the photograph. He swipes right.

A few minutes later, a notification pops up: < Hm, the size of your hands is promising.

This is familiar. This is the flirtation stage. Lan Xichen knows the steps to the dance.

30. My Land Beneath Me by longleggedgit - ~30,000 words, explicit - Modern AU where Wei Wuxian is cast out of his sect and out of China to America. And Lan Zhan just...follows.

Lan Zhan always waited for his tea to cool before drinking, which meant he had nothing to do but give Wei Wuxian a judgmental look. “No more McDonald’s.”

“You’re just bitter because you get indigestion from anything that actually tastes good,” Wei Wuxian grumbled.

Because Lan Zhan was insufferably mature and patient, he didn’t rise to the bait. “We have time to stop somewhere before class,” he said.

“Fine. But you’re paying this time.”

It was a bad joke, and predictably, fell flat; Lan Zhan was, after all, paying for everything, every time. Wei Wuxian frowned into his mug.

“You know,” he said, after another swallow, “you really don’t have to be here. I’m going to figure something out.”

*

Interested in 86 more The Untamed fic recs?

Part 1 - 40 recs Part 2 - 23 recs Part 3 - 23 recs

[circethegoblin]

STAYING ALIVE MASTERPOST, FROM A BROKE TEEN WITH ADHD

here you go. some down to earth tips on how to not die metally nor physically.

tired of those "drink three liters of water everyday uwu" and "wake up at 5 am" and "buy a bath bomb and a fec mask and some other things you don't have the money for" shit? i'm here for ya.

1. NOT DYING

eat at least three meals a day, one of which m u s t be warm and above 300 kcal (it can be istant ramen with an egg added if you have to)

you technically should shower everyday, but we know how it is. A change of clothes is sometimes enough.

DRY SHAMPOO AND BABY WIPES!!!

keep bottles with water everywhere. On your desk, near that spot on the floor you always end up sitting on, near your bed, basically whenever you know you spend a lot of time. No need to get up and go to the kitchen will help. Obviously change the water in the bottles as often as you can.

Get some form of physical activity. It doesn't have to be much, you can for example replace scrolling on tiktok by walking around your room and scrolling on tiktok! Brilliant, isn't it? Obviously, running or doing those 10 minutes workouts from youtube is better, but you are still getting like an hour of walking.

Buy blankets. Steal blankets. Summon blankets from other dimensions. Just make sure you have a lot of warm, soft blankets in your house. You will thank me when you won't have the anergy to wash your sheets (just take them off and throw some blankets on your bed), or when the power goes out.

If you have pets, ALWAYS keep spare food that'll last for a week for them.

things to always have in the kitchen: milk, eggs, flour, rice, pasta, yeast, cheese, oil, a leafy vegetable, onions, tomatoes, apples, patatoes, some flavourful sauce, sugar, salt, spices and an emergency chocolate bar. You can make a lot of food with those. Just make sure you won't eat the chocolate too fast.

Have a lot of spare batteries. A lot.

Get urself a flashlight, a lighter, and a pocket knife.

Remember the apples? eat one a day. if you don't like apples or you can't eat them for any other reason, you can take a kiwi, banana, orange, basically something that will give you vitamins and non processed sugar.

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

drugs from that one guy around the corner = very bad time

2. NOT DYING INSIDE

Open the damn window.

Don't watch so many commentary videos. You are probably not even checking the sources, so you can easily make unjust judgement, and like. did you even hear of half of those people before?

make a discord server just for yourself. get into the habit of writing little things that happened to you there. rant about the fanfics you read. or the movies. vent there if you don't have anyone you can vent to. write your ideas there, write e v e r y t h i n g. make a section for passwords, for quick ideas, for your to do lists. you won't lose it as you do with sticky notes or notebooks. there is no risk anyone will see it. oh, and when you'll have a strong impulse to tell emily that you hate her? write that message in your private server and list all ur arguments. look at tat the next day and decide if you really mean that.

life sucks. come to peace with it.

cuddle ur pets if you have them

1 hour a day without a lot of sensory input. if you have to, reduce to half an hour.

if you find yourself scrolling endlessly through social media, make sure it's pintrest (just don't compare urself to the people here; if you have issues with that, tumblr may be better)

delete. twitter. from. your. phone.

influencers are lying to you; maybe not even intentionally. remember when you were watching that cute-aesthetic-productive morning routine, and you were wondering why your life isn't that pretty? why your room is a mess? why you cannot for the life of god be aesthetic 24/7? its the filter. don't worry about it, their lifes arent that nice either.

realize there's actually nothing stopping you from screaming as loud as you can right now. like there is no physical barrier. think about it. realize there's no actual physical barierr to many other things.

your body is your body. you can decide how it looks like; just remember it's in your greatest interest to keep it healthy.

3. BEING A LITTLE BETTER THAN JUST ALIVE

If you wear make up, take it off before you go to sleep.

moisturize your body; everything is better when your skin doesn't feel dry

have a one brand of cosmetics that you love and buy things mainly from it. they often have sets of products that complete each other. i like ziaja. it's a polish brand, it's surprisingly cheap and has nice quality

cleanser, moisturizer, face mist

of you can, change your sheets once every two weeks

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

do a deep house clean once a month (don't beat yourself up when you don't tho)

keep your workspace organized (it doesn't have to look organized to other people, remember)

sunscreen

cook your own food

keep a calendar

no money for scented candles? got ya. make a simmer pot: throw some apple peel, a couple of cinnamon sticks and whatever spices that smell good you have into a pot, add some water and simmer. boom. your house smells good, and you haven't spend 20 dollars.

If you really like candles, buy scented wax melts. it's cheaper.

Buy urself scented mists. they're pretty cheap and will make you feel A LOT better.

keep your clothes clean. if you aren't sure if that shirt thats on your chair is dirty or not, throw it in the washing mashine anyway. better be sure.

if you can, make your bed right when you get up

wear clothes that make you feel good. put some effort into your outfits. really.

4. OTHER PEOPLE

be nice to essential workers.

if you have money, give tips.

remember, you do not owe anyone love; it is not something you can force. even if they saved your life. even when they helped you in your darkest time. if you don't love them, you don't.

you don't have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy.

if you want to, date! date everyone! date girls, date boys, date nonbinary people! date people completly different than you, date people from different countries, date them!!! just make sure they're kind and won't kill you. even if you don't end up in a relationship, you can learn a lot.

don't be afraid to piss off people that deserve it

smile to strangers :)

5. NOT FAILING SCHOOL

heard of dark academia? check it out

romanticize the heck out of studying

do not let your studying be just reading the same partagraph over and over again. it won't work. believe me.

seterra for geography, quizlet for everything else

try to make yourself intrestet in whatever you are studying (watch veritasium, listen to podcasts about weird history facts)

notes are for you and you only; don't worry about them looking pretty. doodle on margins, make weird metaphors, squeeze in as much info as you can.

when you're studying, listen to music without words/in a language you don't understand.

chew gum while you study

get the forest app, get attached to the trees, focus.

don't feel guilty for taking breaks

grades aren't everything, but they are important.

eat something in school

don't just use the cheapest pens. invest a couple dollars in something that will make writing enjoyable and smooth

those study with me videos? they're great

if you like to argue with the teachers, take care of your grades becouse. they may not like you afterwards.

be nice to your classmates and help them with homework. if you don't do your homework they'll help you

executive dysfunction won't let you study? been there. sometimes it's better to wake up ealier tommorow and do that homework then.

don't feel guilty for failing a test

go to the goddamn class

don't pull all nighters oh my god don't especially on weekdays

6. OTHER LIFEHACKS

don't get involved in the crime, and if you do always have a believable explanation why you were doing it

have different alarm sounds for every day of the week

set a daily limit of money that you spend

great hobbies that don't require a lot of money; urban exploration, writing, hiking and learning other languages

thrift stores

don't eat grapefruits while on meds

nail polish removers dissolve most strong glues.

if you have a cut on your skin, desinfect it. do it. please just do it.

always have pads with you. even if you don't get periods, at least one of your friends probably does

sign up in your local library. its free