#i am kind of nervous because i don’t know what the process is. i mean i think i’m going to shower in a sec so that i don’t smell bad

[fingertipsmp3]

In some other news I’m getting a massage at 2

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

Hi! Spencer Reid x reader where reader is kind of panicking because she’s worried Spencer will get tired of her and find someone that’s more like him personality wise? But then Spence reassures her that he loves her and only her? 🎀🚬🤍🤎

fem bimbo!plus size reader, wc: 589.

a/n: no i am not going to let bimbo reader sleep, but also i've been posting so much aaron recently, which is funny because i've been so obsessed with spencer recently. thank you for your request!

cw! angst :(

“I guess opposites really do attract huh?”

It was just a joke. A harmless, well meaning joke that completely spun your world off of its axis.

You were aware of the differences between you and your boyfriend, but you never felt bad about it, nor did he ever make you think that you weren't good enough for him. You would have liked to think that your differences was what made Spencer fall in love with you; but now you’re not too sure.

Yeah, sure, you needed help with understanding certain things, and your processing was a bit slower than others, but that didn’t make you stupid or annoying… right? 

What if you talked too much? What about that time that you kept interrupting Spencer while he was reading? Did you irritate him? Did he think about breaking up with you? You’d never had thoughts like these before because you never had a reason to. You always felt secure in your relationship with Spencer, like you were his equal. 

Spencer wasn’t used to your silence, it was unusual and quite frankly it raised the red flags in his mind. He was so used to your rambling about anything and everything that the quietness of his apartment was making him itch. 

“Sweetheart?” He called out softly.

It was almost as if his words scared you, your body jumping at the sound of him breaking the serene atmosphere of his almost dark academia-esque apartment. 

“Yes?” Your voice was hushed and meek and Spencer absolutely hated it.

He set his book down on the side table where he uncurled his legs and patted the spot on the couch next to him. “C’mere.” You looked almost hesitant to move, but nonetheless you got up and sat down. 

He grabbed your hand and held it firmly, but you didn’t make any effort to hold it back. It made Spencer nervous; did he do something?

“Sweetheart,” He reiterated. “Is something wrong?”

“Am I too much?” Your panic was quick to build. “What do you mean?” Spencer’s brows were furrowed inquisitively. “Like - like do I talk a lot? Or - or are my clothes too colorful? Do I ask too many questions?” Your speech fired out rapidly, almost as if you didn’t say what you wanted to know you may never do.

“Hey, hey, hey… no, no, stop.” Spencer was quick to shush you, opting to hold your face instead of your hand. “Did someone tell you that?” You shook your head, “No, yes? I don’t know. It - it was just because of that stupid joke Morgan had made.”

Ah, he remembers now.

“The one about opposites attracting?” You nod feebly. “And it got me thinking… what if I’m - what if I’m not a good match for you? You might want someone that’s similar to you,  one that knows how to play chess and understands all those super cool facts you know.” 

“Honey,” Spencer interrupts with a light laugh. “No.”

He wasn’t laughing at you, he was laughing at the sheer fact that he couldn’t imagine ever wanting someone else.

“I want you. I’ve only ever wanted you. I - I do admit that we are different, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I like that you aren’t like me. It’s comforting, and I just… I just love everything about you. I love you.”

“You promise?” You asked wetly with a pout. His lithe thumbs swipe at the tears trickling down your cheeks as he nodded, “Of course.”

“I love you too, Spencie.” 

There you were. His girl.

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @their-love @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @celtic-crossbow @hallecarey1 @bunnybabe-babydoll @dixonzzgirl @violettavirus @khxna

[wosoamazing]

A Painful First

Part 1 | Beneath the Surface

Warnings: First Period, Endometriosis, Bleeding Through, Mentions of Nausea, Pain

Notes: This is Part 1 to my new mini series Beneath the Surface, honestly kind of nervous about posting this but anyway here it is. I don't know how good this part is but it is more for setting the scene etc. I am currently in the process of writing the next parts, but I feel like they are much better. Hopefully I got everything pretty accurate, let me know what you think x

You were a Foord, your Mum was Maddie Foord, one of the physios for the Matildas and Arsenal. She was engaged to Leah, who you now lived with, and Leah was almost like your second Mum, you just hadn’t spent much time with her, between her busy schedule and your school and swimming there wasn’t much time spare for you two to spend bonding, meaning when you found out that Leah wasn’t going on international break because of her hamstring and that you could decide between staying or going to Australia, you decided to stay in London so you could get to know her better, Caitlin was sad that you weren't coming on camp and she told you she would miss you so much, but she understood your choice.

Staying in London also meant you could continue your rigorous swim training schedule which with the Aquatics GB Champs coming up in a few months was important to you.

You had a cramping pain before you fell asleep that night however you didn't think much of it, you had been having these random cramping pains often for the past few months, so you just ignored it as usual and fell asleep after messaging your Mum good night.

A few hours later you awoke to a stabbing pain in your abdomen, you brought your knees to your chest in hopes of easing the pain, the action causing you to notice a weird stickiness between your legs, you quickly stood up and noticed a patch of blood on your sheets, and a wave of panic ran through you, this wasn’t meant to happen this way, and your Mum wasn’t here, you didn’t want Leah to find out, you quickly made your way into the bathroom and called your Mum.

-

“Mum,” you said nervously through the phone as she picked up.

“What’s wrong bubs?”

“I um, it-” you puffed out.

“Bubs, take a breath for me and then try again,”

“I um, I think I started my period and I bleed on the sheets and I don’t know what to do and I don’t want to wake Leah up and I don’t want her to see the blood on the sheets and-”

“Bubs, it’s okay Leah isn’t going to judge you, she loves you just as much as I do, I’m sorry I’m not there right now but I promise you Leah will take very good care of you,” Your Mum told you, as she sent Leah a message.

“How am I meant to tell her though? I-, It’s gross and embarrassing,” unbeknownst to you Leah was currently in your room stripping your sheets and putting fresh ones on your bed, she was not disgusted at all and if anything felt slightly bad for you knowing how you would prefer your Mum to be there over her.

“Bubs, it happens to everyone, it’s okay, it's not your fault, how do you feel though? Like physically?”

“Okay, it doesn’t hurt that much,” that was a complete lie, your back ached, your stomach felt like someone was sitting on it whilst you were being stabbed and you felt sick, but she was all the way in Australia, you didn’t want to worry her, and every girl got periods, you were probably just over reacting. You heard a soft knock at your bathroom door and knew exactly who it was.

“Bubs, that will be Leah and I’m sorry but I really have to go now, let Leah in, she will help you, and I promise I’ll call you later,”

“Okay, love you,” you said before hanging up and opening the door to Leah, immediately looking down at your feet.

“Hey, there is no need to be embarrassed, it’s okay, it happens to everyone, it happens to me more than I’d like to admit,” Leah tried reassuring you, you just nodded nervously.

“I got you this, it’s going to be bigger than most, but it’s all we have, and none of the shops are open currently so I can’t go out and get some for you. But it’s okay, because tomorrow morning the first thing I’ll do is go to the shops and buy you some supplies, and then if you like we could spend the day watching movies together and just relaxing,” you nodded shyly at Leah before she continued, “Have a shower, get cleaned up, and call out for me if you need anything, I’ve changed the sheets on your bed but if you would prefer you are more than welcome to come into our bed and sleep in there with me if you want,” you nodded again before Leah left the bathroom giving you the privacy to do what you needed to do.

“Le, is it meant to hurt this bad?” You asked the blonde as you walked towards where she sat on the couch, having returned from the bathroom, tears pricking in your eyes, this was your second day of having your period and you hated how you couldn’t do anything because of the pain. Just as you took another step towards the couch a sharp pain shot down your back and you grabbed onto the back of the couch for support, before a few tears rolled down your cheeks. Leah was quickly up and on her feet, wrapping her arms around you to support you before gently and slowly guiding you to the spot on the couch where the both of you were sitting just before, she sat down before allowing you to make yourself comfortable.

“You good?” Leah asked as you finally settled, hoping you found a comfortable position, which you had sort of done so. You were curled up into a ball as you rested against Leah’s side, your head on her shoulder as her arm now wrapped around your back. She used her other hand to wipe away your tears that had fallen before she let out a slight sigh.

“To answer your question, no, it shouldn’t hurt this bad. There is actually something your Mum and I think we should talk about, and we thought having the conversation with just me might make you more comfortable, but I want you to know before I start that if you feel uncomfortable or want me to stop at any time just say so and I will, and if you have a question at any stage just interrupted me okay. What you’re experiencing currently isn’t normal and you shouldn’t be in this much pain, it could just be a bad period however it may also be something else, your Mum and I were talking and we think you could possibly have endometriosis, it’s what I have and a lot of your symptoms are similar to mine,”

“But you’re not couch ridden on your period,” you commented, causing Leah to have to stifle a laugh.

“I’m not normally no, but there are sometimes when I can’t do anything and I’ve known about it now for a little while so I know what helps me and I’ve got medication to help too. But do you know what endometriosis is?”

“Not really,” you said embarrassed.

“That’s okay, it's nothing to be ashamed about, not many people do, but it’s when the lining of your uterus grows outside of your uterus too, like on your ovaries and your fallopian tubes and if it’s really bad it can grow on some of your other organs and your pelvis too. I don’t want you to worry too much though because it could just be a bad period but at the same time I do want you to know that you shouldn’t have this much pain with a normal period, but we will keep an eye on your symptoms for the next few months and decided where we go from there, okay?” you nodded in agreement, the pain slowly over taking you yet again this side nausea came alongside it. 

“Can you come to the bathroom with me? I feel sick, and I don’t want to be alone and-” “Of course, do you want to go into mine and your Mum’s? It’s a bit bigger and then whenever you want we can get into our bed, might be more comfortable,” Leah offered reassuringly before you let out a small ‘okay’.

____

“Why can’t it just be normal? I just want to be able to swim, and do the things I normally do, like even just getting a cup of water would be nice” you cried, you had moved from the bathroom to your Mum’s and Leah’s bed a while ago, having curled into Leah’s side, resting your head on her chest.

“I know bubs, it’s no fun at all, but I promise you that I will get you help if it continues like this. The heat pad should help soon and then you might be able to get some sleep.” Leah tried reassuring you as she ran her fingers through your hair.

“Don’t go,” you mumbled quietly as sleep finally began to take over, your body absolutely exhausted from the pain.

“I’m not going to go anywhere bubs, I’m staying right here with you,”

[amhrosina]

Good Girls Get Rewarded

Summary: Frank gets tired of you running your mouth and decides to remind you who's in charge. Smutty antics follow.

Pairing: Frank Castle x fem!Reader

Word Count: 7.5k (holy shit!!!!)

masterlist // join my taglist

a/n: im not ashamed to admit that this fic is the only thing i thought about for three days straight. please enjoy. it is an absolute smut-fest!

warnings: buckle the fuck up bitches, cursing (obvi), all porn no plot, oral (male & fem receiving), fingering, pet names!!!!!, p in v sex, praise kink, size kink a little??, frank is so mean at first lmfao, lots of teasing, spanking, frank gets called sir a lot lmfao, reader is a brat, physical violence (this does not transfer to the smut!!!), i am probably forgetting so many pls let me know what i need to add!

“How’d you get this number?”

Frank’s familiar rasp was even more apparent over the phone, a tingling revelation that sent a shiver up your spine. He was in a sour mood, and you were itching for a fight. It was the perfect way to end your evening.

“Oh, c’mon, Frankie. You know I can get whatever I want whenever I want.”

“How could I forget you’re such a spoiled princess, huh? The fuck you want, princess?”

He spat the last word at you as if it were an insult. Good. He was angry, too.

“Did I catch you at a bad time? I was just admiring these pretty curtains. They designer?”

Annoyed resolve rang through in Frank’s tone as he replied. “You know I don’t know what you’re talking about. You gonna make me ask?”

“Sure, honey. I think you’ll want to know the answer.”

You smirked, eyes roaming the living room you were currently standing in the middle of. If only Frank could see you now.

He huffed. “What curtains?”

“These blue ones in your living room. Did you pick them out, or was it that Karen Page with her over-eagerness to please you?”

“You leave her the fuck out of this.” He paused, and you smirked at yourself in the mirror as the realization of what you’d said was processed fully by Frank. “You’re in my fuckin’ house? What the hell is wrong with you?”

He was already moving. Even if you hadn’t been able to hear the hitches in his breath as he barreled his way across Hell’s Kitchen, you’d know he was coming. Your plan was working. You were ecstatic.

“Cat got your tongue, princess?”

“Clever.” You hummed, running your tongue over your teeth. Since you’d first met Frank, he’d managed to throw a cat pun in your direction during every interaction you’d had. He claimed it was because the newspapers were calling you the Black Cat, but you thought it probably had something to do with the latex suit you wore. He never could keep his eyes off the curve of your hips. “Lazy, but clever, I suppose. I’ll allow it, considering the spontaneity of this phone call.”

“How kind of you.” Frank spat, and you resisted the urge to giggle over the phone. He had to be getting close, now. He’d come bursting through the door at any second. Your muscles were giddy with the thought of finally being challenged.

“You know I love chatting with you, darling, but I’ve got to run. I have a thing. Ta-ta!”

You hung up the phone, placing it on the counter and angling yourself so that you could see the front door. You weren’t exactly sure how angry he’d be that you broke into his house, but you wanted to at least seem like you had the upper hand when he charged through the door. You waited, anticipation building until you could no longer stay still. You began to pace, nervous and giddy at the same time, and of course, if you’d just been a little more patient and quiet, you probably would’ve heard the creak of the window opening behind you.

You didn’t realize Frank Castle was standing directly behind you until you backed into him. Your heart thundered in your chest, realizing exactly who was behind you and how he’d managed to perfectly out-do you in your own plan. The hands around your throat shouldn’t have been a surprise.

“It’s fuckin’ rude to break into people’s houses, princess.”

He pulled your body fully against his, attempting to wrap his arm around your neck from behind to pull you into a chokehold. You were a tricky little kitten, though, and you slipped out of his grasp almost as easily as you’d waltzed through his door earlier. Maybe he let you out. Maybe he was curious about your unprompted visit, too.

“You’re one to talk. Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s not nice to grab a lady like that?”

He snorted. “Lady? Someone confuse you with someone less bitchy?”

“I’ll have you know, I am perfectly fucking civil to most people.” You assured him, jutting your chin out in defiance.

“We really doing this?” He ran his hand over the stubble on his jaw. You eyed the movement and shrugged.

“Eat your fuckin’ heart out, honey.”

You both lunged for each other, your leg rising to connect with his stomach before his fist could connect with your face. He sprang back, unharmed but winded, and caught your leg before it could connect with his chest. You were suddenly on your back, having been thrown off balance by Frank, who was pushing most of his weight down on your hips to keep you from thrashing beneath him.

“You’re rusty, kid.” His eyes were bright and fiery, a combination you’d grown accustomed to during these bouts. You brought your forehead to his chin in a headbutt that would’ve knocked anyone else out completely. Frank, unfortunately, was just dazed for a moment, blinking the confusion out of his eyes before you could make much leeway against his ridiculously strong hold on your hips.

You were, however, able to wiggle one of your legs out from underneath him, giving you the perfect opportunity to pull Frank into an armbar.

“You’re old.” You smirked. Old or not, the best thing about fighting Frank was how incredibly resilient he was. No matter who ended up on top at the end of the night, your pent-up energy was always spent.

He resisted the pull into your hold, though the only other direction for him to go was on top of you. Your breath rushed out of you as he landed directly on top of your lungs, your grip on his arm loosening enough for him to roll away from you.

“Real cute, princess. You break into my house, and now you’re trying to what? Hurt me?” He scoffed, rolling his eyes as you coughed and remained on his kitchen floor. He really had landed hard, but you were playing the long game. “Good fucking luck. I’m not an idiot, in case you were wondering. You can stop the act.”

“You sure about that?” You rolled to your feet, pulling your hands into fists and holding them up to block your face. He rolled his eyes again, and even though he looked relaxed - unready, even - he caught your fist before it could connect with his jaw.

“You learn that on TV, princess?”

Your brow furrowed in anger. He was annoyingly good at reading your body language now.

“Actually,” you smiled up at him, face so close to his chest that you could nearly feel his thundering heartbeat, “I learned it from your mom.” You punctuated your insult with a swift knee to Frank’s groin. “I win.”

He hunched forward and you let him fall to his knees on the linoleum flooring. It was a low blow, but you weren’t in the mood to fight fair. He never did, anyway. You pushed yourself onto the counter, watching him breathe through the worst of the pain. You were an asshole, sure, but you weren’t the type to kick a man when he was down.

“You’re a fucking menace.” He grunted, nostrils flaring with anger when he took in your relaxed posture on the counter.

“Oh, please, Frank. It’s not like you fuckin’ use the thing.” You rolled your eyes, flipping your hand through the air in the universal sign for “whatever”.

His gaze shifted from anger to something you couldn’t quite place. You’d seen the look on his face before, but you’d never been able to figure out exactly what he was thinking during those moments. He tilted his head and rose to his feet, keeping his eyes trained on your face. Predator stalking prey. Goosebumps broke out on your skin.

“What was that, princess?” He stalked closer to you, and you were suddenly very aware how cornered you were in this position. To make a hasty escape you’d somehow have to catapult yourself over Frank’s shoulder or burst through what you guessed was a solid block of drywall beside you.

You swallowed thickly. “I said, it’s not like you use the thing.”

Frank’s eyes were bright with delight. Coupled with the teasing smile on his face and the slight tilt of his head, you were a little frightened.

“And you’d know that, how?” He taunted, stepping closer to you. He was in your space now, close enough to touch.

“I know a lot of things, Frankie.” You desperately grasped at the semblance of control you had left. “I know where you live, I know what you order every morning from that diner around the corner, and I know for sure that you. Don’t. Fuck.”

“Oh yeah?” Frank was leaning on the counter now, hands pressed into the granite on either side of your hips. “You think I can’t handle myself in bed, princess? Wanna try it out for yourself?”

“You wouldn’t know what to do with me.”

You didn’t know why you’d said it, or where it came from. Frank Castle was not the man to play games with, especially not these types of games. In actuality, you had no idea who the man was fucking or how often it was happening. You hadn’t expected him to rise to the challenge when you’d teased him about it.

“Is that right, princess?” His eyes gleamed with desire, and you finally realized what the look on his face meant. “Wanna bet?”

He pressed himself fully against you, the hardness of him apparent through his jeans. Your breath hitched against the column of your throat, and you swallowed thickly. You couldn’t deny the steady pounding between your legs, and you slightly widened your legs to allow him more room.

“Yes or no, princess? Wanna learn a thing or two?” His lips ghosted over yours, tongue darting out to lightly lick your top lip in a teasing, playful motion.

Your expectations for the night had been drastically different than this. You’d planned on a physical fight, maybe a black eye or two, and a slew of insults that you’d giggle about until you saw him again. You had not been expecting…this. Whatever this is. They probably existed, but you couldn’t think of a single reason why this might be a bad idea, so you leaned into the feeling that had been steadily growing in your core, and slammed your lips against his.

He groaned, immediately plunging his tongue into your mouth in a desperate, aching kiss. Your teeth clashed against his, but neither of you seemed to notice.

“Fuck, princess.” He mumbled against your lips, angling your chin so that he could pepper kisses down your jaw and onto your throat. You panted, pawing at his shoulders as he nipped the sensitive skin below your ear. “You gonna be good for me?”

“I’m not good for anyone.” You tried and failed to sound feisty. Instead, it came out in a mixture of a whine and a moan.

“You can be good for me, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.” His hands ghosted over the bottom of your shirt, rubbing the fabric between his fingers. He didn’t lift it up yet, and he probably wouldn’t, you realized, until you offered him some kind of consent.

“Only if you ask nicely.” You teased, brushing your lips over his jaw.

He snorted. “That ain’t happenin’.”

A feline grin made its way across your face. “I know.”

He gripped your jaw tightly, forcing you to look up at him as he leaned in close and whispered, “You’re going to be good for me, you fucking brat. Don’t make me say it again.”

Warm delight flooded your stomach, and even though it went against what you believed in, you nodded. You couldn’t think of a single thing you would rather be doing.

“Good girls get rewarded, kitten.” He adjusted his grip on your jaw, sliding his fingers further down your neck. He toyed with the hem of your shirt again, tugging it slightly so that you arched into his chest. “Can I take this off, sweet girl, hmm?” He hummed, running his tongue across your bottom lip.

You nodded again, and the hand around your neck flexed with displeasure.

“I kiss you for thirty seconds and your big mouth suddenly knows how to shut up?” He pinched your hip, eliciting a yelp from your unassuming mouth.

“Fuck yo-”

“Careful.” He warned, arching an eyebrow at you. “Use your words, kitten. I know you know how to be sweet. Be sweet to me.” His lips ghosted over yours, breath fanning across your flushed cheeks. “Can. I. Take. This. Off?” He punctuated each word with a slight squeeze of his hand, still wrapped around your throat.

“Yes.” You breathed, dipping your chin in a single nod.

“Yes…?” He cooed, close enough for you to see the amusement glittering in his eyes. The fucker was enjoying this entirely too much. Still, your core hadn’t stopped pounding since he’d cornered you, and you couldn’t lie and say you weren’t incredibly turned on by this, by him. You gave in to his question, as much as it hurt your stubborn heart to do so.

“Yes, sir.” You clenched your teeth around the word ‘sir’.

“See? That wasn’t so hard was it?”

“Or should I call you master? Or daddy? Or maybe punisher? You gonna punish me, dadd-”

His hand clamped over your mouth, cutting you off before you could continue.

“Shut the fuck up. You just can’t help yourself, can you? You’re such a fucking brat.” He pulled your hips flush against his, and you bit your lip to stifle the moan making its way up your throat. He leaned in, centimeters away from your lips as he whispered, “You want to be punished, kitten, hmm? I can do that.”

You were suddenly pulled off the counter and roughly thrown over Frank’s shoulder. The swiftness in his movements made you yelp, anger coursing through your blood at his man-handling.

“Fuck you, Frank.” You gritted your teeth.

His only response was a swift slap to your backside, which was nestled directly over his shoulder.

“You can’t just throw me around like a doll!” You protested, though you did nothing to try and wiggle your way out of his grasp. The man-handling was making you a little hot and bothered, but you wouldn’t be admitting that anytime soon.

“Oh yeah? Watch me.” He grunted as he threw you down on his bed, grasping your legs and pulling you down the mattress until he was towering over you again. He brushed your hair out of your face, a gentle gesture that juxtaposed the usual ferocity of your meetings. His thumb ghosted over your bottom lip, and before you could think twice about it, you opened your mouth and began sucking on it. A grunt, a smirk, the subtle desire lurking behind his intense gaze - all of it was incredibly sensual. “Should’ve known the sweetness wouldn’t last. You’re a brat, through and through, kitten.” You replaced the sweet caress of your tongue around his finger with your teeth, softly biting down on the tip of his thumb in response.

“I like it though.” He mumbled quietly, more to himself than to you. His gaze coasted down your body, catching on the swell of your breasts and the curve of your hips. He looked back at you, having come to a silent decision. “I’m gonna give you another chance, kitten. Does that sound okay, baby, hmm? I want to make you feel good, alright? All you have to do is be good. That’s it. Can you do that for me? Can you be good for me?”

You blinked up at him, his frame so wide above you that it was almost sinful.

“I can be good for you.” You responded slowly, relinquishing your hold on his thumb. He quirked an eyebrow at you, and you quickly added, “I can be good for you, sir.”

His cheeks widened into a smirk.

“You’re already doing so well, sweetheart.” He praised, running his hands along your sides until they met the bottom of your shirt. You arched into him as he pulled the fabric over your head, relishing the gentleness of his touch while simultaneously missing the roughness from before.

He slid the tip of his tongue from your navel to the valley between your breasts, tugging on the thin material of your bra with his teeth. His breath fanned across your chest, bringing a renewed sense of urgency to your aching core.

“Frank.” You whined, pawing at his shoulders and attempting to pull him fully against you. He barely budged, instead choosing to narrow his focus onto your pebbled nipples.

“What is it, kitten, hmm?” He pressed a soft kiss to your nipple. It was through your bra, but it might as well have been to your bare breast, because the rippling heat that washed through your body elicited a breathy moan from your throat.

“I need- I mean, I want- Can you-” The warmth from his mouth around your nipple was scrambling your brain, and you couldn’t begin to function as his fingers began sliding your pants down your legs.

“You need somethin’, sweetheart?” He was teasing you, and you couldn’t bring yourself to stay silent about it.

“Quit teasing me.” You whined, and his hands halted midway down your thighs.

“You think you have any control over this right now?” He chuckled, yanking your pants down your legs in one swift motion. “I haven’t forgotten how bratty you were earlier. You keep this up and you’ll be lucky if I let you come at all, sweetheart, and it’d do you good to remember that.”

Desire sparked deep in your core at his tone, and a devilish smile made its way to your face. He eyed you warily.

“Don’t do whatever you’re thinking about doing.” He warned, returning his attention to your breasts. “Behave. Can you do that for me?”

“Can you?”

The words were out before you could stop yourself. It was just so easy to talk back to him. He brought his teeth down around your nipple, biting hard enough to bruise.

“Brat.” He grunted, pushing himself off the bed completely. You whined at the loss of contact, but it quickly turned into a moan when Frank’s rough hands flipped you onto your stomach and slapped your ass hard enough to leave a mark.

“You’ll learn to be good.” One hand held your squirming form beneath him while the other came down in another harsh slap. “I’ll fuckin’ teach you if I have to.”

You moaned, louder and louder with every slap. Sure, you were a menace to the streets of Hell’s Kitchen and, likely, Frank Castle, but you never knew being bad could feel this good. Frank hoisted you up against him, roughly pressing your back into his chest.

“You’ll submit.” He whispered, nipping at the exposed skin on your neck. “I’ll make you. I dare you to try and stop me.”

He shoved you off of him, pulling his shirt over his head as you flopped down on the mattress. You tried to crawl further up the bed, but his hand clamped around your ankle and tugged you onto your stomach again. The position gave him a perfect view of your clothed cunt, which was thoroughly soaked in its current state.

“This underwear is pretty, baby.” He mumbled, running his fingers over the damp cotton. You squirmed beneath his touch, moaning as his fingers brushed against the part of you that needed him the most. “You wear these just for me?”

“Yes, sir.” You breathed, arching your back even more to give him a better view.

“Turn over, baby.” He instructed, gently prodding at your hips. You flipped over, splaying yourself out beneath his standing form, panting. “You’re good when you want something, aren’t you?”

“Who says I want something?”

Jesus. Christ. You really couldn’t help yourself. You sighed in disbelief at your own attitude. At this rate, he’d never let you come.

“Watch it.” He brought his hand down, slapping your clothed cunt in warning. You felt yourself clench around nothing, dying to be touched by him again. “You look delicious like this, kitten. I’m dying for a taste.”

His eyes flicked up to yours in question. Even after everything, he still wanted your consent before he crossed the next line. You nodded, and then winced as his eyebrows shot into his hairline and he brought his hand down in a harsh slap, connecting with your pussy again. “Words.”

“Yes. Yes, please, sir. Please taste me.” You corrected yourself, widening your legs.

“All you had to do was ask, sweetheart.” He sank to his knees, grinning. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, which surely would’ve gotten you another punishment, and tried to relax against the mattress.

“Look how pretty you are when you’re behaving.” He hummed, breath fanning over the soaked fabric. You whined as your pussy fluttered at his praise. He pressed a soft kiss to your mound, still refusing to remove the fabric simply because he knew it was driving you crazy. “You like it when I compliment you, kitten? Look at how wet you are, and I haven’t even touched you.”

“Yes, sir.” You breathed, swallowing hard. You were so turned on it was starting to hurt, but you knew if you complained he would stretch the process out even further. Instead, you leaned into the praise and hoped he’d give in soon. “I’m being good, right, sir?” You asked, legs trembling with anticipation. He kissed your mound again, eliciting a groan from deep within you.

“Yes, kitten.” He smiled against your pussy. “And good girls get rewarded. Right, baby? Hmm?”

You moaned loudly as he hummed against your wet core. “Yes! Yes, please.” You nearly screamed out.

And finally, finally, he pulled your panties down your legs, discarding them in his back pocket. He briefly sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, taking in the sight before him. You were glistening with wetness - so turned on from his words alone that you could quench his thirst for a year with the amount of arousal leaking from your cunt. He grunted, slowly remembering the game he was supposed to be playing with you.

And you tensed, noticing all of this. You may not know a lot about a lot of things, but you knew Frank Castle, and you knew how to read him. You knew exactly what he’d been thinking. For a second, you had forgotten that this was all one giant game to him. He didn’t miss the way your demeanor changed. His eyes slid to yours in question.

“What is it, honey?” He asked, voice still dripping with lust but also with genuine concern.

“I just-” You struggled to find the words, and then tried to sweep the entire interaction under the rug. You wanted his tongue on you, now.  “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

“Lying ain’t something good girls do.” He arched an eyebrow at you. You whined, pressing your head into the mattress.

“Is this a one time thing for you?” You asked, refusing to meet his eyes as you did so. It would be pretty embarrassing to be sent home in your current state - needy and wet - but not the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to you. You would not torture yourself by watching his eyes go from lusty to their usual cold demeanor.

“What do you mean?” He asked, running his thumbs over your hip bones.

“I mean,” you huffed, sitting up on your elbows and forcing yourself to look at him, “Will you call me after this?”

Frank’s face morphed into an understanding smirk. “Are you asking me to?”

You glared at him. He pinched your sides again. You rolled your eyes. “Yes.”

“Then I’ll call.” He said, and then his tongue was swiping through your folds, and you couldn’t do anything but flop back onto the mattress again and groan.

He lapped up the arousal that had been leaking out of you since he’d arrived earlier before focusing his efforts on your clit. His tongue drew figure-eights around your clit, sending shocking waves of pleasure through your body, and when he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked, you were sure you’d died and gone to heaven.

“Fuck, princess, you’re so pretty.” Frank mumbled against your clit, sending a new spark of pleasure through you. “It pisses me off how pretty you are.”

“Please don’t stop.” You begged, legs shaking as you wrapped them around his head. His hand, which had been trailing closer and closer to your entrance, finally found its home, buried deep in your pussy. He pumped two fingers in and out of you, all the while sucking on your clit and going back and forth between praising and degrading you. You weren’t sure which direction was up.

“You just show up looking like a fucking goddess,” he punctuated the word with a harsh suck to your clit, “and expect me not to fuck you, princess? You’re begging to be fucked in those tight pants.”

He pumped his fingers faster and harder, sucking at your clit with more ferocity than you thought he was capable of. You were sobbing now, so close to the edge that you couldn’t stop the tears flowing down your temples and onto the comforter beneath you.

“You’re such a fucking brat sometimes, fuck.” He grunted. “But you’re so god damn pretty when you misbehave. You drive me fucking crazy, you know that?”

“Frankie.” You sobbed, moaning as he sucked on your clit again.

“You wanna come, baby, hmm?” He cooed. “Only good girls get to come, kitten. You think you’ve earned it?”

“Yes! Yes, sir!” You practically screamed it, your entire body shaking with anticipation of your release. “Please let me come, sir.”

“Well, when you ask so nicely, honey.” He shrugged before attacking your clit with his tongue again.

You erupted beneath him, coming so hard your vision blacked out. You could vaguely feel Frank holding your hips in place, but your body was mostly one spark of pleasure after another. Your heart thundered in your chest, mimicking the pounding in your core. Frank squeezed your thighs hard enough to bruise, lapping up every drop of your release, but you were so far gone you barely registered it.

You eventually returned to your body - sweaty, panting, and thoroughly taken care of. Frank was smirking, pressing soft kisses into your skin.

“See what happens when you’re not a brat?” He teased, kissing the valley between your breasts. “Good girls get rewarded, and you’ve been so good for me, kitten.”

“What’s my reward?” You gasped, still a bit hazy from your orgasm.

“What do you want it to be?” He nipped at your jaw, trading between soft kisses and little bites that were sure to leave marks.

“I want to-”

His phone began ringing in his pocket, a sharp and alarming ring that startled both of you out of your hazes. He reached into his pocket and cringed when he saw who it was.

“Who is it?” You asked, curious.

He flipped the phone around for you to see, and you immediately tensed up. Motherfucking Karen Page was calling Frank, and he looked like he wanted to answer it. Your haze was gone now - long gone - and you suddenly felt like crying.

“Answer it.” You taunted, though you thought you might really start to cry if he did.

“I don’t think I’m going to.” He responded, watching you carefully.

“No, really,” you said, attempting to sit up, “She might need saving, again.”

It was a low blow, and you both knew it. It wasn’t Karen’s fault that she wasn’t skilled in hand-t0-hand combat. There was a pattern, though, and no matter how many times she got herself into trouble, Frank and/or Matt were always there to save her.

“Watch your mouth.” He blocked your attempt to sit up, shifting his weight so that he was fully hovering over you. He silenced his phone and slid it into his pocket. “You’re being a brat again.”

Hot, shameful tears welled in your eyes.

“I’m not trying to be one. This is my personality.”

“Crying after the most mind blowing orgasm you’ve ever had?”

“No.” You mumbled, though you couldn’t stop the sneaking smile from forming on your face.

“You’re pretty when you smile.” He said, peppering kisses along your jaw.

“Careful, Frank.” You murmured. “It almost sounds like you care.”

He nipped at your neck, an already sensitive area, and you groaned against him.

“I do.” He said genuinely, pulling back to make eye contact with you. “But don’t you worry your pretty little head about that right now, princess. You’re about to be so cockdrunk that you won’t be able to see straight for a week.” Your pussy clenched as he grinded against you, the denim of his jeans rubbing against your sensitive clit, sending sparks of pleasure through your stomach for what felt like the millionth time that night.

“What about my reward?” You hummed, wiping stray tears away. “I still get that, right?”

“How could I forget?” He mumbled, nipping at the marked skin around your breasts. “Princess wants her reward. What do you want, sweetheart?”

“I want to suck your cock.” You said, straight-faced and innocent, blinking up at him with such softness that he looked on the verge of tears. “Sorry.” You mumbled, correcting yourself before he could, “I want to suck your cock, sir.”

“You’re a fucking angel.” He grunted, pushing himself off the bed and into a standing position again. You followed, reaching for his jeans. He grabbed your hands, briefly stopping them from tearing his jeans off.

“Are you sure you want this, princess? A reward is supposed to be about you.”

You sort of liked the way he called you princess now. Before, when it had been fist fights and anger, it sounded like an insult. But now, the gentle cadence he said it with made your heart clench in your chest.

“I want to.” You nodded, and smiled up at him. “Can I, please?”

He undid his belt with one hand, bringing the other up to cradle your jaw. His hand was massive on your face and neck, a reminder of how insanely large the man standing in front of you was.

“When you look at me like that,” he started, biting his lower lip and slightly shaking his head, almost like he couldn’t believe what he was saying, “I forget how fucking bratty you are. I just want to corrupt the innocent little smile of yours.”

“I come pre-corrupted.” You grinned, the feline smile returning to your face as you looked up at him. “But you’re more than welcome to try.”

You tugged at his boxers, revealing his achingly hard cock. Sucking in a breath, you tried to imagine all of it fitting inside you as he stepped out of the boxers. Your mouth watered when he stroked himself a few times, smearing the precum across the tip of his dick.

“You realize I can’t let another man touch you after this, right?” He asked, eyeing the way your tongue slid across your bottom lip. He shrugged. “You’ll never want another man, anyways.”

“You sound so sure of that.” You murmured, not fully comprehending the words coming out of your mouth. You flicked your eyes up, briefly meeting his gaze before returning to the matter at hand.

“That sort of sounds like that attitude that keeps getting you in trouble, princess.” He raised his eyebrows at you. You quickly rewound the conversation, blinking out of your cock-drunk haze.

“No. No, sir.” You shook your head, desperate to get your mouth on him. “Can I? Please?”

“That’s what I thought, baby.” He murmured, tucking your hair behind your ears. His hands traveled around your head, pulling your hair into a ponytail at the base of your neck. You slid off the end of the bed, sinking to your knees in front of him. “Go ahead, sweet girl.”

You wrapped a hand around the base of his cock and kissed the tip. He let out a slow breath as you grew bolder with your mouth. His salty pre-cum smeared across your lips, and you couldn’t stop yourself from dragging your tongue through it. He groaned, tightening his hold on your hair.

“I want you to fuck my throat, sir.” You murmured, looking up at him.

“You keep looking at me like that, I ain’t fuckin’ anything. Those fuckin’ eyes of yours are gonna be the death of me.”

“Didn’t realize you were so quick to-”

“Don’t finish that sentence.” He warned, arching an eyebrow at you. You grinned, stifling a giggle before wrapping your lips around him again. You pushed your head further and further down his cock, hollowing your cheeks and sucking as you went. When your nose brushed against his pubic bone, he let out a stunted moan, slightly thrusting into your throat.

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you bobbed your head up and down with more fervor, begging him to fuck your mouth harder and faster.

“You look, fuck-” He couldn’t stop himself from groaning, which spurred your movements on even more. “You look fucking amazing like this, princess.”

You hummed with acknowledgment, hoping it was enough for him to keep thrusting into your throat. Tears freely streamed down your cheeks, surely smudging the eye makeup you’d put on before you left your apartment earlier that night, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Frank Castle was sliding his dick down your throat, and you were so turned on you could probably come just thinking about it.

Frank suddenly pulled out of your mouth, a trail of spit connecting your lips to him as he panted. “‘m gonna come if you keep doing that.” He explained when he noticed your furrowed eyebrows.

“Want it.” You breathed, reaching for him again. He instead pulled you to your feet in front of him, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Another time, princess. The first time you make me come, I want it to be in your sweet little pussy.” He winked. “But don’t think I haven’t noticed how good you’re being.”

He pulled you into a kiss, sweeping his tongue into your mouth. You groaned at both the praise and the intensity in which he kissed you. Both set your insides on fire. He led you backwards until your legs hit the bed, and you couldn't help but nip at his bottom lip when he tried to pull his head back.

“Good girls don’t do that.” He smirked, pushing you lightly so that you’d flop onto the bed again. He ran a hand over your cheek, smudging your makeup even more before running two fingers along your bottom lip. You caught on, slowly wrapping your lips around his fingers and lightly sucking. “You’re not good, though, are you, princess?”

You shook your head. His eyes had darkened again, sending a familiar pounding to your core. Your legs trembled as he began to inch his fingers in and out of your mouth.

“You can be.” His voice had lowered considerably, barely above a raspy whisper. “You’re my good girl, aren’t you? Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me, princess. I won’t tell anyone.”

You whimpered, sliding your tongue around his fingers. Your skin was on fire, and the longer he stood there staring at you with those lusty eyes, the wetter you became.

“Can I fuck you now, princess?” He asked, transfixed on the fingers he was sliding in and out of your mouth. “You gonna be a good girl and let me ruin you?”

He pulled his fingers from between your lips, gripping your jaw tightly. He watched you, waiting for a response. You almost nodded, making the same mistake you’d made countless times already, but caught yourself at the last second.

“Yes.” You said, swallowing. “Yes, sir.”

“Lay back, princess. I’ll take good care of you.”

You laid back and widened your legs for him, noticing the twinkle in his eyes as you complied with his demand. If you were in your right mind, you might’ve said something witty or bratty to him about it, but he was towering over you, cock hard and ready to fuck you into oblivion, and you wanted him so badly. You groaned when he began running his fingers through your slick folds, already trembling.

“This all for me?” He asked, circling your clit once, twice.

You nodded, forgetting yourself for a moment, and yelped when his hand smacked your bare pussy. It didn’t hurt. In fact, you felt your pussy spasm in response, but you’d been so lost in how great his touch felt that you hadn’t realized you’d broken a rule.

“This all for me?” He asked again, rubbing your clit roughly with the heel of his hand.

“Yes! Yes, sir!” You whimpered, legs trembling when you felt the heavy weight of his cock resting on your pussy. He used it to slap the slickness a few times, eliciting a whine from deep in your chest. If he didn’t fuck you soon, you might actually die.

“Who does this belong to, baby? Whose sweet pussy is this?” He asked, smacking your pussy with his cock again.

You froze, knowing the answer he was looking for, but wondering if you wanted to lower yourself to that level. It was vulnerable to give yourself over to Frank this way, but it also wasn’t as terrifying as you thought it would be.

“Say it.” He encouraged, sliding his cock through your slick folds. “Submit, princess. I’ll make it worth your while.”

“Is that a promise?” You taunted, trying not to groan at the friction against your clit.

“Quit being a fucking brat.” He grunted, lining himself up with your entrance. “Say it.”

“Yours. It’s yours, sir.” You whispered, and he buried himself deep inside you.

All the gentleness you’d experienced leading up to that moment was gone, and you couldn’t do anything but cling to Frank’s shoulders as he obliterated you.

“Fuck, you’re so tight, sweetheart.” He hovered over you, kissing, sucking, and nipping at every inch of skin he could reach. He was marking you everywhere - you didn’t miss the implications of that - and barreling into you over and over again.

“Say it again, baby.” He whimpered in your ear, the closest you’d ever come to hearing Frank beg. “Who does this sweet pussy belong to?”

“You, sir. It’s all yours.” You replied instantly, whining as he angled himself and pistoned deeper into you. You could barely think straight, only aware of where your skin ended and Frank’s began. “Fuck, Frank. Sir. I’m fu-” You panted, whimpering, “I’m close. ‘m gonna-”

“You look so pretty like this, sweetheart.” He murmured, ghosting his lips over your jaw as he pressed kisses to and nipped at your throat. “Cock drunk and needy. You’re so fucking pretty.”

“Sir, can I-” You shuttered when you felt his hand on your clit again, teasing it with rough, slow circles. “Oh, fuck.”

“You’ve got such a dirty mouth, baby.” He grinned, skimming his teeth along your jawline. “You drive me fucking crazy.” He punctuated the word ‘crazy’ with a deep thrust, pressing against the spongy spot deep inside you that would send you reeling. You whined, squeezing your eyes shut as you trembled around him. Tears cascaded down your cheeks, a sight he never wanted to stop seeing.

“You wanna come, princess?” He cooed, biting the sensitive skin on your throat and kissing the sting away.

“Please.” You gasped. It was the only thing you were capable of saying. You barely registered that you’d forgotten to call him sir, but he was so transfixed with the sounds you were making that he didn’t mention it.

“Princess gets what princess wants.” He mumbled, wrapping his arms around you and holding you steady as he pistoned into you at an indescribable pace. You fell apart beneath him for the second time that night, arching and panting and whining as you fluttered around him. He attacked your throat, jaw, and lips with kisses, licking and nipping at your skin.

“That’s it, baby.” He talked you through the overwhelming pleasure, holding you tightly against his chest as he continued to thrust into you. “You were such a good girl, honey. You did so good.”

You whined, fluttering around him at the praise. “I want another reward.”

In any other circumstance, your demand would’ve pissed Frank off, but you just looked so pretty underneath him. “Oh, is that so?” He asked, eyebrows raising. Amusement rang in his tone, and it emboldened you to keep speaking.

“Yeah.” You gulped, still shaking from your orgasm. “I already know what I want.”

“You’re sounding more and more like the brat I just fucked silly.” He said, gently thrusting into you. “Spit it out, baby. What do you want?”

You swallowed, smiling a little. “I want you to fill me up, sir.”

He paused, pressing his forehead to your shoulder and huffing a laugh. His warm breath sent goosebumps skittering across your skin. “You’re going to be the death of me, sweetheart.” He mumbled, kissing you sweetly.

“I was good, wasn’t I?” You feigned innocence, knowing it would send him closer to his relief. “And good girls get rewarded?”

“Yeah, baby.” He nodded, picking up the pace of his thrusts again. “Good girls get rewarded, and you were the best girl, baby.” He leaned into your hold, lips ghosting over the crest of your ear as he whispered, “I’m gonna fill you up, baby, and you’re going to walk around dripping into your pretty little panties all day tomorrow.”

You eagerly nodded, agreeing with him, and whimpered when he began thrusting into you at a relentless pace. You arched into him, nipping at his throat hard enough to leave a mark. “You’re perfect, baby.” He breathed. “Even when you’re being a brat. Wouldn’t have you any other way.”

His thrusts grew sloppier, his breaths coming in short, stunted grunts as he finally let himself go. His heart thundered in his chest, and you clung to him, kissing across the broad expanse of his body until he nearly fell on top of you in trembles.

You cradled his head against your chest, breathing in unison with him. At some point, his arms had wound around you, which meant you were now wrapped in each other’s arms, limbs tangled together as both of you came down from your highs.

“Holy shit.” Frank said, chuckling. “That is not what I was expecting when you called.”

“You gonna kick me out now?” You asked, half-joking. He tensed against you, lifting his eyes to meet yours.

“Don’t be a brat.” He nipped at your skin. “I’m not kicking you out, unless you want to leave.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

He nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck, sighing deeply. “Of course I want you to stay. I’m a fuckin’ gentleman, kitten.”

You scoffed, though you could feel yourself hiding a smile. “Whoever told you that clearly hasn’t heard you in the bedroom.”

He scoffed in mock-offense. “Are you saying you didn’t have a perfectly nice time just now?”

“I did.” You grinned. “I’m…sorry I said you weren’t good in the sack.”

He looked up, stunned. “Did the Black Cat just apologize? To me?”

You rolled your eyes, huffing. “Yeah, but no one would believe you if you told them.”

“I’m not sure that’s enough, princess.”

You scoffed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I think you need to admit to me that I’m incredible in bed and that you were wrong.” He was grinning so wide you had to resist the urge to punch him in his stupid, handsome mouth.

“I’m not doing that.” You shook your head, stifling a laugh.

“Do it.” He murmured, nodding.

“I refuse.”

“Please?”

“Absolutely not.”

You were both grinning at each other now.

“You’re such a brat.” He said.

“That’s what got us into this mess.” You countered.

“Just say it, princess. For me?” He pleaded. “I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”

“Fine.” You gave in, rolling your eyes. “Frank Castle, you’re a sex God!”

He chuckled, pulling you tightly into his chest.

“Good girl.” He praised, kissing you softly.

“Do I get a reward?” You arched an eyebrow at him, smirking.

He smirked back, eyes glinting with mischief.

“Oh yeah, princess. Good girls get rewarded, remember?”

Tag List:

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[princessofmarvel]

Don't Blame Me

Summary | You act impulsively, getting yourself hurt in the process, and Joel freaks out because you did it to protect him.

Pairing | Joel Miller x fem!reader

Word Count | 2.72k

Genre | Angsty but mostly fluff!

Warnings! | Slight smut! (Not really, but sex is implied lol) Ellie giving you two hell, fighting, reader gets hurt, shitty fight scene, probably some inaccuracy not proof read lol.

Authors note! | Hi you guys! It's been so long since I've written something, but I'm back! I am kind of nervous about this one since it has been so long since I have written anything lol, But I hope that you guy's enjoy it! This is the start of my "Swift series", Where I write fics based on Taylor Swift songs. I will link it here once I have everything up about requesting and characters that I will be writing for! Feedback is always appreciated! And as always, I do I have really bad OCD that causes me to write in some random capitalization, and punctuation, But I think that we don't have to worry about that in this fic lol. And let me know if there are any mistakes, but please be kind!

  “What the hell were you thinking?” Joel questioned you as you, Joel, and Ellie all walked into the cabin that didn’t belong to any of you. He was pissed, but you couldn’t think about even answering his question right now, not when the gash on your side was bleeding, and hurting to the point of giving you a slight limp.

  “Now’s not a good time Joel, If you haven’t noticed, I have something that needs cleaning.” You said trying to ignore him, and find a safety kit, or even just some water and a cloth. 

“Yeah, you wouldn’t need to clean anything if you hadn’t been so reckless.” He practically shouted at you from across the room, causing you to roll your eyes. 

  “Joel, she was just helping you, if she hadn't done anything you could be dead right now.” Ellie interjected, trying to calm down Joel, when all it really did was the opposite. 

  “Ellie, go to your room.” Joel said, sounding like a true father, as you turned the sink on and running a cloth underneath the water, shocked that there was any. 

  “What- We don’t live here Joel!” Ellie argued, “I don’t care, just find a room and go in it.” Joel argued back, not caring that he really wasn’t making any sense at the moment. 

  Ellie sighed before wishing you ‘Good luck’ as she grabbed her backpack and made her way up the stairs to find a bedroom to go in, at least maybe she could get some rest because you knew that you were in for an earful before you could even think about resting. 

  Joel was so pissed he was basically seeing red. You knew better, or at least he thought that you did to not put yourself in harm's way like that. He knew that living in this world that some things were just bound to happen, but not because you were being reckless.

“Wake me up!, before you go go, don’t leave me hanging on, like a yo-yo!” Sang Ellie and you while walking through the woods on your way to a cabin that Joel happened to know about. Ellie decided to start skipping around Joel as the two of you sang, trying to annoy Joel, or at least get him to join in. Whichever came first. 

  “Oh come on Joel!, We know you know the words, I mean look at you!” Said Ellie while laughing. 

  “Ha ha.” Joel responded in his typical monotone voice. 

  “You know Joel, It won’t kill you to liven up a little-” You started to say before you were cut off by the sound of a twig snapping. A snap that did not come from any of you.

  The next thing you see is not one, not two, not three, but four  infected, two close to you, one close to Ellie and one close to Joel with Ellie in between you two. They had to be newly infected to be out here, considering there were no other ones around. Your two started walking towards you, being further away than the other ones, but you were focused on the one closest to Ellie, putting two bullets in that one before you heard the two closest to you getting a little too close. You turned around fast enough to get 2 more bullets into one of them. But when you went to shoot the next one, you were out. It started getting closer, but was far enough for you to get the small ax out of your backpack. You went to hit it, but it fell to the ground from another bullet, one of Joels. 

  Joel was turned towards you now, not able to see the one coming up from behind him. You acted on pure impulse and charged at it with your ax, taking its head off in one clean slate since it was so newly infected, it wasn’t too hard. But in your act of heroism, you tripped and fell onto a sharp rock, cutting your side. Making you end up here, with an ungrateful and grumpy Joel. 

“Hand it over.” Joel suddenly said while pulling up a chair next to the one that you set in. 

“If you are going to just sit there and scold me the entire time, I would rather do it myself.” You said, almost being interrupted from wincing. He grabbed the cloth from your hand while you held the side of your shirt up. The two of you sat in silence while he cleaned the wound. You just looked at him, taking in his features. He looked so focused, like if he made one wrong move you would break. You found it sweet how he was helping you, until he started talking again. 

“You know, you’re lucky to be alive, that could have killed you.”

 “No, you’re the one that’s lucky to be alive.” You said to him, making him roll his eyes as he finished wrapping up your cut. He stood up, with his hands in fist. It infuriated you, you saved his life and all he could do was gripe about it. 

  “If I didn’t cut it’s head off fast enough, you could be dead right now Joel, One stupid cut is not the end of the world.” You yelled at him while standing up. He’s never seen you this angry, especially not with him. The two of you typically had an understanding, Protect Ellie, and don’t die while doing it. Yes, the two of you talked when you had the chance, You even made him laugh a few times (Counting the times when his ‘Laugh’ was just the side of his mouth turning upwards). But you never got this angry at each other. 

“Yeah, and if you hadn’t made just the right cut at just the right time, you could be dead right now Y/n, Why don’t you realize that, you can’t be impulsive like that.” He said to you with his back turned to you, washing his hands. 

“But, I’m not Joel, I’m not dead, I’m right here, Everything's okay,  Everyone’s alive Joel!” You yelled back at him, with his back still turned. 

“Ellie needs you more than she needs me, when the situation calls for it you put your life before mine you hear me?” He asks you, both hands on each side of the sink and looking down. 

“And, watch something happen to you? You want me to just sit around and do absolutely nothing if you’re in danger?” 

“It’s not about me-” 

“Look at me when you’re talking to me Joel!” You yelled at him, causing him to finally look at you. When he turned, you couldn’t tell what he was feeling. 

“Joel, I’m okay, I’m fine. It’s just a little cut.”  You said to him. Not knowing how he would react, his face was expressionless.  

“But it was almost worse.” He said walking closer to you, he stopped once he got close to your face. “I don’t want to lose someone I care about again.” 

“Joel, what is this about-” You asked, but you couldn’t get the question out completely, before both of his hands were placed on each side of your face, pulling you in and pressing his lips to yours. 

The kiss was rough and almost demanding. It was like if he let go you would somehow go away. Once the shock set in, you finally kissed him back, lips moving in perfect rhythm with him. His hands found their way to your waist while yours found their way to the back of his neck. It was pure bliss, but then he pulled away. 

“You think we should move this to a bedroom, sweetheart?” He asked, lips starting to trail down your neck. The small yes that he heard from you next was all that he needed to lead you into the closest one. 

The next morning you woke up, alone. It only freaked you out for a moment, until you heard the voices coming from the kitchen. While you were getting dressed, you heard Ellie say something that caught your ear.

“I told you to say something!” Ellie said to Joel while eating what he decided to prepare that morning. You could smell the food and it actually smelled good, which meant that whoever Joel knows that owns this place, keeps it stocked up. “You were always denying it, but I knew you were in love with her!” 

“Ellie, hush and eat your food.” Joel said, turning around from making you a plate to have as you walked in. “Mornin’” He said, making eye contact with you, a sight smile coming to the mans face. 

“Morning.” You said, sitting next to Ellie, as Joel slid you your plate. “You didn’t have to, I can make my own plate.” You said  smiling at him. 

“Yes he does, that's the least he can do after last night.” Ellie said laughing as you went wide eyed and Joel glared at her. You thought, based on the part of their conversation that you heard, that maybe Joel had just told her that you two had finally gotten together. You didn’t know that she knew what had happened last night. 

“She’s been giving me shit all morning.” Joel said, turned around making his own plate now. 

“It’s not my fault you two are so fucking loud, You know how hard it was to fall asleep last night?” Ellie said while taking a bite of her food. 

“You were all the way upstairs, how did you even hear anything?” You turned to her and asked. 

“She was probably scrummagin’ through the kitchen like a damn racoon.” Joel said sitting down across from the two of you causing Ellie to scoff. 

“Um no, I was down here looking for the bathroom and heard things that will  haunt my nightmares for years.” Ellie said while cringing. “Is that what made you go crazy and attack an infected with a fucking ax?” Ellie asked you, causing Joel to pause and look at you while waiting for your answer. 

“Yep” You answered before looking back down at your food. 

“So it’s your fault I had to hear all of that?” Ellie said accusingly. 

“Um no, don’t blame me for this, Joel initiated it.” You said while taking your plate back into the kitchen.

“Damn Joel, I didn’t know you had it in you.” Ellie said while Joel got up to take his plate back too. 

“Ellie, stop talking and finish your food, we need to get back on the road.” He said as he washed his plate off, taking yours from you to do the same. 

You were afraid of things being awkward since you hadn’t clarified anything with Joel yet and it was already an hour later. But as you got out of the shower, Joel was sitting on the bed, facing the bathroom door as you walked out dressed for the day, with a towel in your hand. 

“What? Are you wanting me to hurry up that bad? Are you that eager to get back on the road Joel?” You asked while drying your hair with the towel. 

“I just wanted to see you, without Ellie around to make jokes before we left.” Joel said while standing up and walking towards you “I just wanted to make sure that you knew that I wasn’t just using you last night, because I do like you Y/n” He said while wrapping his arms around you. 

“I like you too, Joel.” You said, placing your hands on his shoulders. 

“Just don’t let that make you crazy and attack another infected without a decent weapon again, Okay?” He said looking you in the eyes. 

“As if you wouldn’t do the same for me, Miller.” You said, smiling up at him. He knew he could trust you to take care of yourself, he also knew that you were right. He would do anything to protect Ellie and you. 

“Yeah yeah.” He said leaning down to kiss you before exiting the room with you. 

“Thank god you two were quieter that time.” Ellie said while picking up her bag.

“Ellie, get your mind out of the gutter and let’s go.” Joel said opening the door, ushering you two out. 

“We are never going to live this down are we?” You said to Joel as you walked out, but Ellie answered before he could.

“Nope!”

[bloggingboutburgers]

I need some help.

So, I have this friend who’s Aro/Ace, and we have a very close group of us and like 2 other people. He recently came out to this group, and we’re all super supportive. He actually came out to me before the others, and I helped encourage him to tell them.

I am demisexual, and was planning on telling these same people around that time, but he got there first, and I didn’t want to be a jerk so I waited like a day to tell them, but I’m not sure if I waited long enough. He‘s also being weird about me being demi, and kind of treating me like I’m not really part of the same community, like, just little comments, not malicious or anything, but lots of little things.

I was the one to introduce him to all the fun ace memes, like, garlic bread, and such, and I’m the one who explained the difference between romantic and sexual attraction to him, and I introduced him to qprs, but he still treats me like I’m not the same.

I don’t know if I’m overreacting, but I’m already insecure about being aspec, but not fully ace, so it’s just kinda freaking me out. Should I talk to him about it? Just deal with it? I don’t know. I don’t want to „me too“ his identity, but I don’t want to be erased.

Thanks.

Is that like... Ace gatekeeping of sorts...? Man I'm sorry you're going through this, that sounds awkward.

Sorry I'm replying so late, I hope I'm not too late, but... Yeah, personally I would recommend talking to him about it, to find out why he's doing this. I have no idea what's going on here, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he might have felt your coming out might have undermined his in ways, even though that wasn't your intention at all and now HE's undermining yours...

Coming out is a very personal experience that should be up to a person's choice on when and how it's best to do it, so it's important for him to be able to respect yours like you did your best to respect his.

Being queer, and being on the asexual spectrum, is also very personal and CAN lead one to being defensive after having been othered for so long, not sure why, maybe 'cus we're afraid we might be damaged in the process or reduced to an image we don't wanna be reduced to. I mean... I don't know if it's a universal experience, but for instance, while I'm always happy to meet other aros and aces, I have trouble engaging in aroace-dedicated communities (welp... mostly 'cus I'm afraid of groups) but also and mostly, every time I get recommended a work with aro or ace characters in it, it hardly ever fails to give me a massive nervous stomachache and make me want to put off checking out said work forever, 'cus... I think I'm scared of finding out the many ways my identity can get undermined in the process, ironically.

I'm not sure what causes this. Maybe growing up in a reality that's so hostile to being on the aro and ace spectrums fucked me up. And maybe there's something like that going on for him too, though I don't wanna project at all. I can only ever speak about my own experience.

Either way... Both of you are valid in both of your ways, he shouldn't be gatekeeping anything, indirectly or not, especially when you've been so open to sharing your experience, and yeah, you're not the same, but you're on the same spectrum, and there are part of your struggles that you share, and he should respect that. Just because your experience doesn't 100% align with his doesn't undermine either of you. You're in this together and you should be able to have each others' backs. I sincerely hope you can talk it out and I hope he doesn't get too defensive about it... But yeah, I hope you can get your feelings across to him as well, 'cus you don't deserve this. I sincerely wish you both the best.

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Everything Falls Into Place

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.4k

Warnings: fluff, worrying about not being able to adopt a child, anxiety

Request by anon: Aww if steve and vixen settle down imagine them fostering or adopting a child. In their words "adoption helps a kid"

Summary: You and Steve start the process of adopting a child. There are a lot of steps that you have to go through, including a background check. You're worried about your past as Vixen is finally going to bite you in the ass. This is it. This is the other shoe you've been waiting for to drop.

Cat and Mouse Masterlist

Squares Filled: social worker au (2021) for @star-spangled-bingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

“What is taking her so long?” you sigh impatiently.

“She’s only been gone five minutes. Calm down,” Steve chuckles from beside you. Steve looks over at you to see you bouncing your leg from how nervous you are. You’re wringing your fingers together to keep yourself from biting your nails. “Y/N, you’re acting like a criminal who just got caught. Take a deep breath.”

“Steve, this woman is the decider on whether or not we have a child. Forgive me if I’m a little anxious.”

Your social worker, Amy, takes another ten minutes before she’s back in the office, and you let out a relieved sigh that she hasn’t kicked you out… yet.

“I am so sorry. We’re extremely backed up,” she says and takes a seat across from you.

“It’s no problem,” Steve smiles politely.

“So, you’re looking to adopt a child? It’s a big responsibility.”

“Yes, ma’am. We’ve actually been wanting this for a while now.”

“Why now? Why not then?”

You and Steve look at each other in thought. Maybe it’s because you two were out fighting in wars you had no business being in. Maybe it’s because you finally came face to face with Zemo again after so many years of being away from him, and you almost killed him. Maybe it’s because even though you think you’re ready to be parents… you’re actually not.

“We felt like the timing wasn’t right,” Steve finally answers and peels his eyes away from you.

“Have you always wanted to have children?”

“Yes, I have,” Steve answers honestly. “For as long as I could remember.”

“And you?” Amy asks.

“In the beginning, yes. I mean, when I was a lot younger. Some shit happened to me and I didn’t allow myself to feel that way until recently. Maybe in the last couple of years? I can’t have children biologically, but I do want one.”

“I never know how to ask this question despite how many years I’ve been doing this, but what kind of parents would you two be?”

“I can’t say for sure. How can anyone know for sure? We’ve never taken care of a child before. There will be obstacles that we might not know how to get over but I can tell you one thing. We will do our very best to make sure this child is loved, safe, and raised to be the best person they can be.”

“That’s a good answer,” Amy smiles and writes in her notebook. Steve rubs his thumb on the back of your hand comfortingly. “This is going to be a long process but I have confidence that it will go by quicker than you think.” She hands over a piece of paper to Steve. “Here is a list of everything I will be needing by the end of this week. Legal papers. You know how it goes. Next will be an extensive background screening for everyone living in the adoptive household. After that will be the in-home interview and inspection of the home.”

You don’t hear anything past background screening. What if they find out about Vixen? They won’t want to give you a child when they figure out how many people you’ve killed. What if they come for the home inspection and find your room of weapons? You’re not getting a kid.

“Okay,” you squeak out.

Steve notices your panic but decides not to say anything about it until you two leave the office building.

“What’s going on?”

“What if they find out about Vixen? The Winter Soldier? My time in Hydra?”

“They won’t--”

“What if they do?” you cut him off. “What if they don’t see me fit to be a mother? What about the guns and shit we have at the house? They’re not going to allow us to be parents with all that there.”

“Baby, you need to calm down. We’re going to do fine.”

His words go in through one ear and out the other. You hear him talk but you’re not listening to a word he’s saying. When you get home, you immediately head to the room with all your weapons and begin taking them off the wall. If you’re going to make this house suitable for a child, you have to make sure it’s safe for one.

“Y/N, it’s going to be fine.”

“No, it’s not. We live in a state where it’s illegal to carry outside your home. We aren’t even allowed to have this many weapons in the house.”

Steve knows you have to do this in order to make yourself feel better. He leaves you to box the weapons while he gets his phone out of his pocket. He calls Bucky, Sam, and Nat to come over because he thinks having them here is going to help you. He has always been the more level-headed one in the relationship which is why he’s being so calm about this. He has faith that everything is going to work out just fine.

“How long has she been like this?” Nat asks when she gets there.

“Since we left the social worker.” They know you and Steve have wanted a child for a while now. “Nothing I say matters.”

“Hey, Y/N,” Natasha says and walks into the room. “You doing okay?”

“No, I’m not. I have to get these weapons out of here. Can you keep them for a while?”

“Sure. You’re going to do just fine. If anyone deserves a kid, it’s you two.”

“No, it’s not okay. Amy is going to come in here and see all these weapons and she is not going to give us a child. This isn’t safe for one. Or she will know I’m Vixen and think wow, a mass murderer assassin doesn’t deserve a kid. Or she’ll know about Bucky, Thanos, and everything else we have done in our lives.”

“Would it help if we helped you?”

“Yeah,” you smile.

Bucky, Sam, Nat, and Steve help clear out the room until it’s bare. This is the room you’re going to use for the nursery. You don’t have any supplies since you’re not sure when you’re going to be getting a kid, so you’ll keep it bare for now. Bucky and Nat take the weapons to hold onto until this whole thing blows over. Your house has a basement that you can put them into only until after the inspections are done.

On the day of the interview and home inspection, you have cookies baking in the oven to give the home a sweet smell. You have been cleaning all day to ease your worries. Steve is nervous as hell but less than you are.

“I think this is the tenth time you fluffed that pillow.”

“It has to be perfect.”

“It is. You are. It’s going to be fine.”

“I know. It’s going to be great,” you smile. Amy shows up on the dot, and you let her in eagerly. “Welcome to our home. It’s good to see you again.”

“Thank you. Wow, smells good in here.”

“I have cookies that just left the oven. Would you like one?”

“No, thank you. I have two more visits to do. Not to sound rude but I’d like to get started right away.”

“Of course.”

You two lead her to the living room and sit across from her. Steve reaches for your hand and pulls it into his lap.

“To start with, why don’t you two tell me what you two do for a living?”

“We are employed with Stark Industries,” Steve says. Happy sends money to every Avenger on behalf of Tony. You don’t need a job when your job is saving people who need it. Does she not know you two are Avengers? “We make about two hundred thousand each every year.”

“Do you enjoy your work?”

“We love it. I can’t see myself doing anything else.”

“What are some of your hobbies?” Amy asks you.

“I love to sew. I love making my own clothes. I actually made my own wedding dress. It brings me peace whenever it’s just me, a needle, and some fabric.”

“And you?” Amy asks Steve while writing in her notebook.

“I like to draw, sometimes. I’ve been practicing more these days. I like to fish. We have a cabin up north that we like to go to when the weather is nice.”

“Tell me about your marriage, and how your relationship is with your significant other.”

You look at Steve and smile lovingly at him.

“There is nothing I wouldn’t do for this man. He has saved me in ways you can’t possibly imagine. He’s my best friend. Sure, we have our ups and downs, but there is nothing we can’t accomplish together.”

“She said it right,” Steve chuckles. “I love her with all of my being. Our marriage has been nothing but great for these past few years. I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

“That’s sweet,” Amy smiles and writes. “Tell me about your relationship with your parents.”

“Both our parents are dead. We don’t have any living relatives,” you answer. 

“To get with the technical questions, why do you want to adopt?”

“I’ve mentioned this before but I’m sterile. I can’t have children on my own. I know Steve wants a family. This is the only way I know how to give it to him. We don’t want to do fostering or a surrogate. We feel like it’s more our style to adopt.”

“What she said,” Steve chuckles.

“If granted the opportunity to adopt, what are your hopes for your child?”

“That they’re a good person,” Steve answers. “That they’ll see someone who needs help and will want to do that for them. Who will love unconditionally.”

“Alright,” Amy writes. “This is everybody’s least favorite section. I’ve done your background checks.” Your heart drops. This is it. This is where she tells you that you can’t adopt. “Now my main concern is your work with Hydra. You are the Vixen.”

“Were,” you correct. “I’m not that person anymore. Yes, I have done a lot of bad things in my life. Things you can’t possibly imagine. That isn’t who I am now. I have healed from that part of me. I got help. I made amends. I got Hydra out of my head. I don’t associate myself with those people anymore.”

“What about Bucky?”

“Bucky is healed, as well,” Steve takes over. “He went to Wakanda and underwent the same thing she did. They’re both trying to move on from their past.”

“That’s all it is, Amy. It’s my past. It’s not my present and it sure as hell isn’t going to be my future.”

Amy goes through more routine questions before she gets ready for the house inspection. You tell her the plans you have for the empty room which will be the nursery. She doesn't say much but she does write a lot of stuff down.

“Thank you for coming,” you say when she is done.

“I’ll be touch.”

As soon as the front door is closed, your smile is lost.

“God, we’re not going to get a kid. Did you see the look on her face when she mentioned Vixen? She knows I’ve killed before. What person would want me to be a mother?”

Steve pulls you close and lets you vent. “We won’t know more for a while. Let’s just try and keep a calm head. Even if she says no, we can try other avenues. We will be parents. You’d be a loving mother.”

And wait you did. For two long weeks. You thought that was their way of telling you that you weren't going to have a kid. Until your phone rang and changed your entire life.

“Hello?” you answer frantically.

“Hi, Y/N? I have some news regarding your adoption application.” You and Steve wait with held breaths. “I am very happy to say you’ve been approved. I can’t wait to work with you.”

“We can get a kid?” you ask tearfully.

“That’s the first part of the process. We have sent in your application to mothers who are looking to put their children up for adoption. If and when they pick you, I will call with the next steps.”

“Thank you so much.” You cry when she hangs up. “We’re getting a kid.”

Steve pulls you in and kisses the top of your head emotionally. You have to wait for a birth mother to pick you so until then, you just have to wait. Most couples wait months or even years to get called, but you get a call from Amy only a couple of days later with a date set to meet a birth mother who chose your application among a few others. You’re nervous as hell because what if she doesn’t pick you? What if she hates you as soon as she meets you?

You get to the office where the meetings are held and wait for Amy and the birth mother to come. Her name is Jessica and she is too young to be having a kid. She is only twenty-three and she doesn't want kids at this age. Maybe when she is older but definitely not now.

Jessica walks in and seems to be about six months pregnant. She just came back from meeting a potential couple, so you straighten up and smooth down your skirt to make yourself look more presentable.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you two. My name is Jessica.”

“Y/N and this is my husband, Steve. Thank you for seeing us.”

“Yeah, I was intrigued when I read about your hobbies and your work with Stark Industries. Did you know Tony?”

“Uh, yeah.” You look at Steve and have a silent conversation through your eyes. If she is going to pick you, she should know exactly who you are. “I hope this doesn’t affect us negatively but he’s Captain America and I’m… Vixen.”

It takes Jessica all of five seconds before she starts crying. This is it. This is where she runs for the hills and gets you blacklisted from ever adopting a child.

“Captain America saved my life,” she sniffles. “I was visiting a friend in Sokovia when Ultron happened. You saved me.” She turns to Amy and wipes her eyes. “I don’t want to see anyone else.” She looks at you with a teary smile. “I can’t think of anyone better to care for my child than you two.”

“I’ll get the paperwork started,” Amy smiles and leaves the room.

You can’t believe what you’re hearing. You’re getting a kid. You’re getting a kid. You’re finally able to start your own family.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[ivestas]

hot head

Summary: You threaten a renowned colossi of a sniper and challenge him to fight.

Tags: sniper!könig x sniper!fem!reader, canon divergence, power imbalance(?), mentions of medicinal drug usage, unedited, reader implied to be on the younger side

Word count: 1.2k

Notes: I've decided to experiment more with characterization; I believe many character headcanons and depictions I make are often influenced by my own experiences, which is obvious, but it's hard to grasp when the character your writing is not only the opposite of you in many ways, but likely has a mindset much unlike yours (male, strong, a soldier, of a culture I know little of, etc) I feel like due to my own experiences, I unintentionally feminize and soften these hardened (male) characters... all this to say that if I keep jumping between versions of these characters, its due to this LMAO—also, the major parallels this has to one of my previous konig oneshots was intentional! and, as usual, sorry for the dubious quality, i just wanted to get the idea down!

You were nervous.

It was hard not to bounce your leg, glance left and right, fiddle with anything beside or on you (dog tag, straps of your gear, a random coin), just trying to shake away the underlying anxiety that ate away at you.

But this is your first 'high-stake' mission, and not only that, but you've been handed to by veterans way beyond your league. You felt clumsy among them, severely inadequate.

Especially since you've been paired with the master class sniper, König.

The mission, according to Aksel, is 'simple enough' for the two of you: you guys will be planted in opposite areas of the enemy base and shoot down and provide back up if stragglers come out or reinforcements come.

But, again—first fucking mission ever that's something as intense as this, and not only that, again, you were paired with König.

You hadn't said anything though, merely nodding to the instruction with a swift 'understood, sir!'

Though you couldn't deny it: it was eating at you, and with your mind clouded with so much thought, it was difficult determining if your hands were gonna be steady enough to shoot (even though it didn't matter because the mission was taking place next week).

While you were busy mulling and agonizing over the hundreds and thousands of ways you could fuck up, you hadn't noticed a certain man making his way to you.

It was only when he spoke that you realized there was someone near. Head shooting up, you spoke quickly, not quite processing right away who it was.

"Yes?"

And then it hit you:

It's König.

It shouldn't have been much of a surprise—it's only natural for pairs in mission to discuss the details and set some sort of plan beforehand; it's practically protocol, actually.

But still, it surprised you. Still, you were able to shake off the surprise quick enough for his words to properly register when he spoke.

"You're nervous."

König said the words with no ire, no disgust, no nothing. It was an observation, plain and simple.

"I... suppose I am, sir."

A puff of laughter—or was it just a scoff? Snort? "No need to address me as 'sir', I'm not your superior."

"Sorry. It's hard to when, you know," shut up. "you're kind of... legendary? I mean, master sniper and all," please just shut the fuck up. "You're kind of like a superior in a skill sense? You know in those rpgs when like—"

"I get it."

You laughed awkwardly, refusing to look at him directly.

"May I give you a piece of advice?"

You looked at him then. "Yes?"

"Cut the rambling short. Although I don't mind it, many others could and will use it against you—it's better to be blunt and honest rather than shy and all over the place." He lifted a finger. "One presumes and sets dominance," he lifted a second finger. "The other presumes and sets weakness."

You were a little offended by that. "Okay but what if I just stabbed them? Can't call me weak after that, even if I start stuttering like Porky Pig."

"..."

"...sorry."

König laughed, and this time, you could properly identify it as one; it was throaty, almost raspy. "I see now—you're a loose-lipped girl. Either a mumbling mess or a sharp-tongued harpy."

"That a bad thing or a good thing?"

"It depends; say I use it against you, will you commit to your word and stab me?"

"I... won't?"

"Then no longer are your words a threat to me, because I now know you're just bark and no bite—"

"I won't because we're comrades right now, but I'd stab you the moment my contract ends!"

Fuck. Fuck.

You did not just threaten a man nearly twice your height and thrice your muscle mass—

"You'll stab me when your contract ends?" He echoed. Amused.

Amused.

"Yeah, dull knife and all—cut you like butter." You rose from your seat, almost chest-to-chest, staring up at König with a glare.

He met your glare with crinkled eyes.

He was looking at you as though you were nothing but a petulant, whiny kid.

"Foolish girl," his voice was light, chiding. "You're barking at the wrong man. Surely you can see that?"

"You're awfully cocky, aren't you? Why not challenge this 'foolish girl' to a spar and prove your worth?!"

"Hmm... okay. I see why not. Perhaps a good hit or two will set you straight, no?"

It took you everything not to (try to) body-slam that fucker.

World renowned sniper or not, you're gonna kick his ass to the goddamn dirt till he's nothing but a pulp of fabric and blood.

---

The two of you were quick to make your way outside, somewhere far enough where no one would see the unregulated fight, but close enough for the safe-house to be in your line of sight.

Sand whipped and pushed at you, the sun was scorching and degrading, but you held still; you were determined to kick König's ass—even if he's huge, you know how to fight big opponents, you trained rigorously to.

König stood two meters from you. He cast a long shadow, light kissing the top of his metal helmet. "The rules are simple enough; whoever keeps the other pinned down for five seconds win and we only use the military-issued knife. Is this fair?"

"Fair."

"Good," he nodded. "Start."

The sand made your footwork unsteady, but not enough to throw you off; light on your feet, you moved close to König, knife unsheathed.

He didn't pull out his knife—in fact, he hardly moved, merely pivoting from time to time from your swings.

You swung your blade forward, aiming for his vest; again, he easily dodged, and with your outstretched arm he pulled you forward.

You could hardly register the movement; one second you were on your feet, and the next you were flat on your stomach, sand in your mouth, and blade far from your hand.

You couldn't move: your wrists were tight in König's grip, his knee digging into your lower back. You tried wriggling your legs, but his knee dug deeper until you let out a pained wheeze.

Then, a moment later, he continued pushing his knee deeper. The sand burned your skin.

1...

2...

3...

"Okay—fuck, okay, stop—you win! Happy now?!"

4...

5...

He finally moved his knee. The shadow that cast over your body was gone.

"You should be happy, maus." He sighed somewhat dramatically. "Had it been any other man, I'm sure he would've been thrilled to harm a pretty girl. Many have twisted minds."

"I'll jus—eugh..." you spat out sand, flipping over and sitting on your ass, propping yourself up with your hands. "I'll just stab those ones, then—and wait! Why'd you say that? That's super creepy, and what does 'maus' mean—?"

"Enough of the blabbing." König said. "And 'maus' means mouse."

"Mouse?"

"Yes, because you chatter away like a little mouse. I like mice."

"You're..."

"Weird?"

"Weird would be underselling it," you muttered, getting on your feet.

"Hm. At least my severe 'weirdness' cured you of your anxiety."

You were ready to snap out an insult, but... he was right.

Your hands weren't shaking anymore. They were steady. You could trust them.

But you couldn't give him that. "Weird assumption, weirdo. I just had a lot of coffee."

"...it seems I've failed to cured you of your tongue, though.”

Childishly, you stuck out your tongue. "Loser."

He merely huffed a laugh at that. It didn't anger you as much as before.

Actually... it didn't piss you off at all.

He really was a weirdo. Nothing like the image you had conjured of him before. (You liked this version of König better.)

AO3

Masterlist

Requests are open

[circus4apsycho8]

Hello! I love your blog so I wanted to make this request for Ninjago!!

I was wondering if you could write a scenario for each ninja were they have an older sister reader where the reader is reflecting on hard times from the past and the ninjas are there to comfort their older sister and just a bunch of sibling fluff!!( Also is it alright if you do Kai and Nya together so they both can have an older sister cuz some writers do them separately!!!) No rush take all the time you need 🩷🩷🩷

𝚊/𝚗: 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎! 𝚒 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚊 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚒𝚐 𝚜𝚒𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 :))))) 𝚒 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢!

older sister!reader scenarios w/ the ninja

𝚔𝚊𝚒 & 𝚗𝚢𝚊

You’re happy that your parents are back. You really are. 

So, why does it feel like you’re lying to yourself? 

You find yourself alone in the Bounty early one morning - just before training. The others have yet to wake, leaving you to the quiet and your thoughts. 

A stab of guilt courses throughout your heart as you think about your parents - both safe at Four Weapons. You, Kai, and Nya would be stopping to visit them in a day or so. And part of you is…what? Apathetic? Is that how you’re feeling?

When your parents had disappeared all those years ago, they had left you to look after both your siblings and the shop - hardly a burden a child should have to bear. But you did. Many nights, away from Kai and Nya’s prying little ears you would silently cry - mourning their disappearance, wondering if they’d ever be back. With the stress of it all piling on, you had hoped and hoped for them to return. 

But they never did. 

And so it continued - the stress, the chores, the ongoing lack of money, the burden of raising your siblings. It sucked every ounce out of you, and a side of you had been angry. Angry that your childhood had been snatched away overnight. 

Are you just taking it out on them? Are those feelings finally resurfacing for you to sort through? 

Conflict gnaws away at your insides as sneaky footsteps pad in your direction. A creak in the wood catches your attention as you snap your head in the noise’s direction. 

“Woah! Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Kai notes, grinning apologetically as he sits down a few feet away. Nya follows suit, the three of you sitting cross-legged in a triangle shape. 

“You just look kind of down,” Nya admits, folding her hands together. “Is everything okay?” 

You sigh, glancing over the horizon. “Yes…well, I don’t really know.” 

“It’s about Mom and Dad, isn’t it?” Kai prompts. 

With a sigh, you nod in response. “Yeah.” 

“We haven’t really gotten the chance to talk about it,” Nya notes. “And a lot’s happened.” 

“Are you guys…happy?” you wonder. 

“I am,” Kai admits. “Uh…but I’m also kind of nervous, if that makes any sense?” 

“Me too,” Nya adds. “I just…I don’t know what they’re going to be like, or how they’re going to act, or how I should act…” 

“It’s certainly going to take some adjusting to have them around,” you muse. “But I guess I’m in about the same boat. Happy, but conflicted all the same. And I’m beginning to understand why, I think. Because…well, of course I can empathize with their situation. I get that it wasn’t their fault. But, at the same time, I still can’t help but be angry. I don’t know…it’s just a lot. And with Sensei gone, it makes it more difficult for me to process.” 

“I know…and it happened so fast, too,” Nya replies. “It was hard to process all at once. And I think that any feelings you might have are valid.” 

Kai nods, his eyes blazing with that comfortingly familiar determination. “Just know that we’re with you. We’ll tackle this together, like we always do.” 

You grin, a tear running down your cheek as you shift to your knees, scooting towards your siblings so that you can bring them both in for a hug. 

“I love you two so much,” you mumble, voice breaking slightly. “Never forget that.” 

𝚓𝚊𝚢

“No way.” 

“Yes way,” Jay counters, chuckling as he dangles a key from between his fingers, smirking at you before going to unlock the door to the giant mansion before you – the mansion that apparently belonged to your biological father. 

Sure enough, the door swings open, allowing the two of you to slip through. Jay makes for the light switch while you’re left gawking at the interior. 

“Fritz Donnegan? What?” you mumble, staring at a giant statue of the character. 

“Our dad played Fritz Donnegan!” Jay chatters excitedly, beckoning you closer to him. You frown at that title – dad. Cliff Gordon? Your true father? It doesn’t stick well with you just yet. While they aren’t your biological parents, Ed and Edna would forever be your mom and dad. Not some egotistical, womanizing actor who hadn’t bothered to make contact with either of you. 

Regardless, you make your way over to your little brother, arms folded as you watch him move a golden trophy. To your surprise, it opens a secret room. 

“Isn’t this just the coolest thing?!” Jay chirps, rushing inside. “Our dad has a secret room!” 

You sigh, unable to prevent yourself from smiling at your brother’s excitement. At least he’s happy. 

“Yeah...it’s cool, I guess,” you mumble, glancing around. “Wow, he actually kept up with us?” 

“Yeah, he did,” Jay answers as the two of you study the section of the wall filled with pinned pictures and articles featuring you and Jay. “I guess he cared at least a little bit.” 

You remain silent, turning away from the wall as a newfound bitterness wells within your chest. 

“Hey...what’s wrong?” 

“I...I don’t know,” you confess, sitting down on the floor with a sigh. Jay sits a few feet away from you, a toy gun in his hand. “It just...doesn’t feel real. Or right, for the matter. I mean...we’re his kids, but he didn’t even want to meet us. Well, I-I get that having kids isn’t for everyone, and still we don’t know what happened between him and our biological mom, but still.” 

“I understand,” Jay agrees, twirling the toy in his hands. “I mean...I didn’t have much time to process it either, what with the threat we had been facing at the time. But this doesn’t have to change the fact that Ed and Edna are the ones who raised us. We don’t have to stop calling them Mom and Dad because of this.” 

You pause momentarily, pondering Jay’s words before nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Jay.” 

“Anytime,” he replies, aiming the toy gun at you before pulling the trigger. You squeal, expecting to be hit by foam dart or something. “Haha! Got you!” 

You frown, glancing at the fake gun only to find that there’s a flag with the word “Zap!” printed on it. 

“Jay...” you growl, sitting up slightly. 

“Ah!” he shrieks as you promptly tackle him.

𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚎

“No. Nope. Not happening. We will steal that cup before I have to deal with him again,” you spit, stomping out of the brig. 

“Wait, why?” Kai wonders, the others glancing among themselves in confusion. 

Cole sighs, holding his hands up to the rest of the team before following you out. “Hold on, let me talk to her.” 

You hear this, sighing in irritation as you make your way outside of the Bounty. “Are you seriously willing to put up with Dad’s shit just to get the Blade Cup when we can just steal it? We won’t risk our cover that way either!” 

“Okay, wait, just slow down,” Cole encourages. You twirl to face him, crossing your arms as you glare at him. “Trust me when I say that I don’t want to face Dad either.” 

“Great. We’ll steal it tonight and be on our way.” 

“But I don’t want to exactly steal it either,” Cole adds. 

“Cole, we’re talking the Great Devourer here. You know - massive snake that will consume all of Ninjago. I think I’m willing to break a few locks rather than risk the entirety of mankind, thank you.” 

“I agree, but I think there’s something else we should both consider,” he starts tentatively. You clench your jaw, hoping he doesn’t bring up what you think he will. “I know that we’re not on good terms with him right now. But...people can change-” 

“No,” you decline, stepping back. “Lou won’t ever change. He’s got his head so far up his ass that he refuses to confront reality. He’ll just force his kids to do it instead!” 

“That was then!” Cole counters, voice still calm. “We don’t know the person that he is now. Don’t you think that Mom would have wanted us to give him another chance?” 

“Mom is dead,” you hiss. “And she would have been mad at how he handled her death.” 

A heavy silence drapes across the two of you as you find yourself tearing up, averting your gaze from your little brother. 

“I...you know I’m not denying that, right? I’m not saying that your points are wrong, because they’re not. We have a reason to be mad with him. But...all I’m saying is that we just give him a last chance. We can keep our cover going, or we can tell him who we really are, but...I don’t think it’s right just to avoid him now. If we see that he hasn’t changed...then we can just cut him out completely.” 

You stare absentmindedly out towards the sunset, contemplating Cole’s words. Part of you doesn’t know if you’re ready to see Lou again, but...the other half of you knows that Cole is right. 

Closing your eyes, you nod. “Okay. Okay. You’re right. But...if it goes downhill...” 

“We won’t talk to him again,” Cole assures. “Sound doable?” 

“I think so,” you reply, smiling sadly at him. Cole quietly comes over to you, offering you a hug which you accept. 

“We’re not going to let him walk over us again,” he mumbles. 

“I know. I know. I just...” you trail off, unsure of how to phrase your feelings as he hugs you. 

“We’ll figure it out,” he replies. “We always do, don’t we?”

𝚣𝚊𝚗𝚎 

Your fingers absentmindedly trace patterns within the snow topping the earth, eyes lingering on the tombstone jutting from the ground. 

It’s been months since your father died, leaving you feeling lost and with a newfound little brother whom you’d met at his funeral. 

Tears sting at your eyes as you close them, wishing you had found Julien earlier. Why did he have to pass so quickly? He was a good man, and you were only just beginning to reconnect with him after being separated for a few years. 

Your thoughts are interrupted by the crunching of snow behind you. After taking a moment to wipe your tears, you turn around. 

“Oh,” you say, spotting Zane standing a few feet away from you. “Hi, Zane.” 

“Good afternoon,” he greets quietly, coming to sit beside you. For a moment, the two of you are simply quiet, both working through your own thoughts. “I thought you had left for college?” 

“I’m about to,” you explain, gaze downcast. “I just...needed to say goodbye, I think.” 

“I understand,” Zane answers. “Our team is preparing to take another mission, so I know I will not be able to visit for quite some time.” 

You nod, biting your lip as a tear falls from your cheek. “I miss him, Zane.” 

Zane turns to look at you, eyes furrowed and expression sharing your pain. “As do I.” 

“I wish he was still here,” you admit. “I just...how do I know that I’m taking the right path if he isn’t here to guide us?” 

“There is one fact I know for certain: he would be proud of us no matter the path we choose,” he states. “He would be so happy to see you beginning your new life.” 

You smile softly, nodding in agreement. “Yeah. You’re right. And he would be proud of you, too.”

𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚢𝚍

You can’t believe that woman has the audacity to show herself to the two of you. Your glare is stuck on Misako for a moment before you spin, immediately making your way out of the area. 

Thankfully, Lloyd seems to be on the same page because he follows you through the twisted halls of the museum, both silent as you stew in your anger. Soon enough, the two of you find a secluded spot to sit at. 

“After all this time...” you trail off, exhaling sharply as you shake your head. “Now she’s showing her face. Can you believe it?” 

“No...no, I can’t,” Lloyd answers, sitting down next to the bottomless pit. “Why now? And not when we needed her?” 

“And especially after Dad tried so hard to keep us together! She just cast us aside at some random school. For what? To get rid of us?” 

“Who knows,” Lloyd responds as you sit next to him. You remain silent, biting your lip to prevent your voice from shaking. 

Even without words, Lloyd understands that you’re upset. He simply lays his head on your shoulder, the two of you thinking in silent support of each other. 

“What do you think we should do?” Lloyd wonders after a few minutes, pulling away slightly. 

“I honestly don’t know,” you admit, shaking your head as you stare at the depths of the pit. 

“Well...whatever you decide to do, just know I believe in you,” he adds. 

You smile softly, ruffling his hair. “Thanks, kiddo.”

[igglemouse]

The morning light pulls me from my sleep as the headache reminds me that I've probably had a little too much to drink but not too much to have forgotten about yesterday.

The room around me is bland and simple, a space that's mine but one can hardly tell with how impersonal it is right now. It might as well be a hotel room.

Still I am thankful. I do miss home, deeply, but at the same time I realize I can't go back and that here, Oasis Springs, isn't so bad. My father, a man I don't enjoy mentioning as he is a horrible person and yet for some reason he's done me this kindness.

I wanted to deny this, to say no to this simple bit of fortune, but that would have left me as prey among wolves...

The kitchen is my sanctuary. Despite waking up with darker thoughts the moment the mixer starts mixing a smile forms on my face. Ideas push into my mind about how to give my waffles a bit more kick but not only that, what else can I sell for my food stand?

Just the act of cooking is meditative for me. It's ancient alchemy you know? Our ancestors would just stuff whatever they found in their mouths and might throw it over a fire but how far have we come from those times?

I am surrounded by modernity. Bottles of sauces and jars of spices. Each honed over the decades to add texture, flavor, and aroma, making this all a science not only to enhance taste but also to tickle the soul.

Making simoleons however is not so much a science. I started earlier in the day which might have hurt me because in the end only forty simoleons were made. I could say that this was the worst day ever but then again forty is better than four.

Perhaps there is a secret to it, finding the right time, the right dishes, the sweet spot? I don't know. All I can do is pack up and try again tomorrow.

The day's light fades and with it the realization that expectations were not met. Again. This whole food stand business has really been a story of ups and downs and while I'm sure I can take it, it doesn't make the process any less frustrating.

I sink into the cushion of my couch, flip on my TV, and spend some time wondering what can be done to be a lot more consistent. Improving my skills obviously, the better the food tastes the more likely people come back over and over again. Skill will come with time, practice, and patience.

Perhaps its my marketability that is lacking? Watching commercials is a reminder that sometimes a good advertisement campaign is all a product or service needs to make simoleons.

An insistent knock at the door breaks up my thinking. That's right, I do have an expected guest today...

Of course my visitor is the increasingly familiar face of Pascal of of course I step aside and invite him inside. He takes a moment to take in my small place, the hint of being impressed on his face but its only a hint because he opts not to say anything other than to ask if he might sit.

There isn't much here, a couch, a table, and a bed. My only income is my food stand and that's not at all reliable yet and so the dining table seems as good a spot for a conversation as any.

"So, what's up?" I ask, suddenly feeling nervous, even more so than my conversation with him yesterday? How does that happen? I guess because then I thought he was just some random handsome guy and now I know that he's very ambitious and might just be the most eligible bachelor in town.

"Dunno, just wanted to see you again is all," he says casually but still looks around some. "You have a nice place."

"Gracias," it's then I take a small breath and calm myself. He's here, isn't he? He doesn't have to be and yet he is. The attraction is mutual, I assure myself, so I should act like it.

"Flower Day is tomorrow," he mentions, as if that has some meaning to me. It doesn't, not really. I've always thought of it more as a filler holiday. "I was wondering if maybe you wanted to do something together?"

"A date?"

He chuckles. "I guess you can call it that, yeah."

There's a lot of confidence in his offer as if it is a formality itself, he expects a yes, and I plan to give him one but only after one question is answered. "Why me?"

"Why you?" This catches him off guard. "What do you mean?"

"You don't have a lack of options, I am sure, so what makes me stand out from the others?"

This draws another laugh and a look my way as if I have asked a silly question. I suppose I'm just not used to seeing the worth in myself. I mean eventually I figured I'd find love and settle down and start a family but I certainly didn't come to Oasis Springs with that in mind. It was more like I was pushed out into the desert and forced to survive. Any friendly travelers I meet on the way would be appreciated but not necessary, never necessary.

"You're humble," he says breaking a silence between us I wasn't aware of until his voice made it apparent. "A lot of the women that approach me or vice versa expect it all and its clear that they only see my ambition, not me. They make me feel like I'd be the supporting character in their story and nothing else."

"There is nothing wrong with being a supporting character-"

"But mainly, I want a woman who is prepared for failure."

"Failure?"

He leans in just a little, taking the measure of me, seeking eye contact as if it was all he needed from me. "If I break my leg in three places would you still be with me?"

"I-I didn't even know you played for a pro team!" I say jokingly but also defensively.

"Exactly!" He says with some satisfaction. "So, tomorrow? Date?"

I push out a breath and give my head a nod. Before, the answer would have been yes but now? Yes? I'm a little less sure, this conversation felt more like a try out than just two people getting to know each other. "Yeah, sure, let's see what happens."

Episode List - Next

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Ooh I’ve been very hesitant about reaching out to you for this (my own mind being weird don’t worry) but I just really love your fics and I would love to see some more because it brings me a lot of joy seeing your work come by on my dash. im sending lots of love and creative energy your way!!

as for the emojis that i almost forgot:

🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼

Aww hey!! No need to be nervous with me I love receiving these and I am so very appreciative of the kind works <3 Thank you!!!

60 for 🔼:

We might reach some big spoilers here? Unsure!

---

And he means it. August 4th 2020 Shannon better get ready. “You want a hand carrying things up?”

“Oh,” Shannon says. “It’s okay. There’s an elevator.”

“Still,” Buck replies. “It’s a lot to carry.”

“You’re relentlessly helpful,” Shannon accuses.

“Guilty as charged,” Buck grins.

“Fine,” she says. “I’d appreciate the help, Buck.”

It never once crosses his mind that going up into her apartment would be a bad idea. He swears, it never does. 

◀️

It’s a mistake. 

She knows it’s a mistake as soon as the door is shut behind them, and he’s laying her dry cleaner bags over the back of a chair. It’s a mistake because he has no reason to stay, but she doesn’t want him to leave. 

And maybe she’s not really thinking, is the other thing. There’s no inherent malintent. None at all. She’s not really thinking, because he’s asking her about art and the things she used to like.  For a moment, she just feels like herself. Like Shannon, the person who used to exist. Before she drained the hope from Eddie’s eyes. Before she got married to a choppy video call reception with the desert. Before she failed to keep her baby healthy after a birth injury she didn’t see coming. Before Helena drilled into her how she was failing; as a mother, as a wife, as a woman. Before she lost her mom. She’s just Shannon, with dreams and goals that someone thinks she’s capable of. 

So when she steps closer to him at the door and thanks him for helping her today, and he smiles at her and says, “it was really my pleasure, Shannon,” her brain goes offline. 

She’s just Shannon. She doesn’t have a husband or children. Her relentless hormone-induced horniness is just because of the gorgeous man in front of her. The kind, thoughtful man who wanted to spend time with her. Who makes her feel good about herself. Her body is on fire and her brain has melted and…

And she kisses him. 

She reaches a hand to cup his face, stands on her tiptoes, and kisses him. 

He’s warm. His lips are soft. His face is a bit stubbly. It’s been a very long time since she has kissed anyone but Eddie, but this feels different. Not a bad sort of different. A little thrilling maybe. She wants more. A lot more.

Buck takes a second to respond. He is understandably caught off guard. 

There’s a brief second, after he processes, where he starts to kiss her back. Where he raises a hand, lets it hover above her waist. But he doesn’t touch her. He comes to his senses before then. 

Buck pulls away, scrambling back from Shannon like she’s burned him. His back hits her door. 

Shannon steps away from him, hands flying to her mouth.

“Oh my god,” she exhales into her palm as the full gravity of what she’s done crashes over her. 

Buck looks horrified. Those kind blue eyes are twisted with confusion  and something else she can’t read. 

“I would never do that to Eddie,” Buck says. His tone is scathing. Scolding. “I-I would never!”

[hikaritakaishi]

Grief (Yamato & Takeru)

Disclaimer: This is a small piece of work that I wrote for the Takari Week that I could not post, but that I really enjoyed writing, so I decided to share! I love the family dynamics that we have in Digimon and everything about these two siblings’ relationship!  Enjoy!

─────  ♡  ─────

“Dad as always is going to come home late.” Yamato said while putting a hand full of spaghetti pasta into the boiling water pot. “Is mom home?”

“I think by now she is. But she must be locked in the office writing some article for the newspapers. You know, the usual.”

“Those two have more in common than they would ever admit.”

“I guess you have a point.”

Takeru took a sip from the tin the Coca-Cola Yamato had given to him. “Maybe that is the reason why they are no longer together; they are too similar to stand each other.”

“It can be.” Yamato laughed a bit. “I am very proud of you for being able to talk about it so openly now. Not a long time ago you would dismiss the topic and pretend you didn’t hear my comment.”

“I’ve been making some progress. As time passed, I think I just accepted the fact that some things would never change, and I have been trying my best to heal from it the best way I can. Writing my feelings down help a lot.”  

“I understand.” Yamato bent down and took out of a wood drawer a jar with the word 塩 (salt) written in hand, and another with the word 黒胡椒 (black pepper). “Your therapy is writing, mine is creating music. I would never admit it to them, but some songs I have wrote are inspired by them.”

“There is beauty in transforming pain into art. At least their story can be signified as such.”

“Exactly. You thought that line yourself?”

“I have been practicing.” Takeru smiled shyly noticing how Yamato observed his sentence.

“I can tell.” Yamato carefully put a pinch of salt and black pepper in the pot where the pasta was boiling. “You said you wanted to talk about something on the phone. What could it be?”

“Oh…that. Well, I think I may need some… dating advice.” Takeru said and felt a sudden urge to hide himself under the table out of shyness.

“What?” Yamato turned around quickly to face his brother with his mouth wide open. He was still holding the jars.” Who is it?”

“Ah…” Takeru looked away and started to tap his hand on the table insecurely. “Do you think Taichi is the jealous type of brother… or would he be ok if I…?”

“Taichi? No way!” Yamato quickly pulled the chair next to him and noisily sat down in front of Takeru. “There is no way you are dating Hikari!”

“Theoretically, I am not…Yet. I invited her for a date on Saturday… and she said yes.”

“I see…” Yamato was speechless. “I mean, congratulations! How… did that happened?

“It is a very long story. But the thing is, I have never been on a date before, I am kind of nervous. I don’t exactly know what to do, how to plan… “

“You never asked a girl out?”  Yamato interrupted him.

“If I never told you, it's because it never happened.”

“Make sense.”

Yamato let the idea sink into his mind. Not that it wasn't something he had already imagined, or even discussed with Taichi himself. But they always joked about it, he was not prepared to face it in real life.

“So…” Takeru broke the silence. “You are going to help me…?”

 “Let me… finish dinner first. A few minutes and I can answer you. Now I am too busy being surprised.” Yamato stood up and went turning off the pan.

Takeru rolled his eyes and kept drinking the Coca-Cola.

Yamato finished cooking in few minutes and served it, making slight jokes about the topic they were discussing before.

They expressed the typicalいただきます(itadakimasu) before anything else.

“Now that I am calmer.” Yamato started trying to look as serious as he could. “What happened? And please hide unnecessary details I don’t want to know.”

Takeru laughed at this and took a few seconds to summarize everything that have happened on this mind. It was still fresh and some things he would admit did not have processed yet. But one thing he was certain of: He could not be happier.

 “You know, I have been receiving love letters from girls at school, and many of them confessed to me. I think I told you about this already.”

“Yes, I remember.” Yamato took the chopsticks and divided them, listening attentively.

“In the quickest way I can summarize this, another one was too much for us to keep pretending we did not care about it. Hikari distanced herself and it was unbearable for me. I knew it was hurting her, and we talked about it after class. And we kissed. I mean, I kissed her.”

“Basically, we two just needed a good excuse to stop playing dumb about how you feel about each other.”

“I can confirm that.” Takeru followed his brother in the previous act. Divided his chopstick as well.

“Well, I don’t think you need to do something incredibly complicated for your first date Takeru, really. Your friendship with her naturally evolved into love and I think you should keep things as light as possible. Without pressure, you know her since you were eight, just trust yourself and your feelings.”

“Oh wow, I never expected to hear it from you.” Takeru seemed kind of surprised.

“I know, I know. But after several years in a relationship, you start to think about things differently.”

“I can see it.”

“Just take care of her and your relationship properly. Everything will be ok.”

“I… don’t want to commit the same mistakes mom and dad committed you know.”

“They are a good example of not taking care of a relationship properly.” Yamato said with as much sincerity as he could. “Dad was never at home, and mom needed to work and take care of us alone most of the time. He was always too busy working. And she needed support. Not financially, but all the other kinds, and dad just let it go. They had a very deficient communication. All I can remember were they screaming their problems at each other, frustrated and confused.”

“I remember that too. And for some reason, I remember blaming myself for it, most of the time. I think dad never expected mom to actually… leave.”

“I felt that as well. I blamed myself not just for the screaming, but for the divorce. Mom just couldn’t take that anymore.”

“I don’t want to… be like them.”

“We are not our parents, Takeru.” Yamato smiled at him, reminding the time he started to date Sora, when he had the same mental dilemma Takeru was having.” We were there, we know what happened, and we have the tools to do differently. “

“I know.”

Takeru smiled sadly, trying to remove those dark days from the focus of his present-day memory. At least he knew that Yamato understood him and these waves of old grief feelings. It didn’t matter what happened in the past, if he now got the tools to create a better future. Yamato was right, he needed to trust his feelings, and trust Hikari. Trust that they were able to create a relationship with a solid base of love and respect. He was the one in charge of creating his own fate, and he chose her to be his other side of the mirror.

[secretlythepits]

Atta Girl

We were 2 blocks from home.

There were patches of nasty traffic I had to manage my emotions through. It was effortful.

All day I had seen a bright blue sky I wanted to be under, but most of it was blocked by frosted glass. Late in the day storms came, the blue turned to gloom just in time for us to enter it.

The day was supposed to be 4 hours max, to which I added 2. It was 8 hours, 2 missed meals. And when it was finally time to go, my husband remembered his fmla paperwork and called an administrator as the iv was literally being taken from his arm. We waited for her to come. We had spent 8 hours in the building doing nothing. The nurse offered to hand off the paperwork. My husband wanted to stick around and do it himself. I wanted to scream, but kept it buttoned. We cleared the room so someone else could use it and were back in the lobby. After 15 minutes my husband decided to give it to the nurse after all.

I drove home.

Traffic is extremely stressful for me and always makes me work very hard to calm my nervous system. My husband criticized me for not edging out a driver who was looking to cut me off. I should maintain my lane position and not give an inch, even though it could mean an accident. Even though I still got by without him cutting me off. I let it pass.

Two blocks from home, I should turn here, not up ahead. I say, “Hey, if I’m going to be the driver…”

He cut me off. Dove right into always/never accusations of all time. It quietly dawned on me that he hadn’t thanked me. I adjusted his blankets dozens of times. I helped him to the bathroom probably 10 times. I got his food and drinks. I sat in the itchiness of missing a summer day while he mostly slept. And he didn’t thank me. I feel the need to hear it until I heard its opposite.

I’m so angry. I’m angry that it made my old feelings of resentment at his care because he neglected my care when I had a brain infection for 3 years! I had processed that, but poke deep enough and the wound is still there. I am angry that as a woman no matter what sacrifices I make, it will just be considered my duty as a wife. All sacrifices women make only hurt themselves and are never appreciated as sacrifices because deep down there is a core belief that our lives are supposed to be sacrificed. They are never our own precious possession. I am angry that the choice is: eat sh*t or argue, when all I wanted was to set a simple boundary. I am angry that his side effects will hit in the coming hours and days to and now it’s not easy to just be kind and generous. It’s an effort and burden because I have to tamp down this anger to do it.

And it didn’t need to be hard!

I am angry that I came home and my son hadn’t thawed the food I asked him to take out of the freezer and it was too late, so no good meals all day for me. I am angry that my other son didn’t turn on the damn robot vacuum cleaner like I asked him to so the floors are dirty. I am angry that I texted both kids 10 times each and only got 2 replies. I am angry that breakfast dishes were in the sink and the boxes I told them to move were left to trip over in our entry. I am angry that they are annoyed at me when all they did was play video games all day.

I feel like today should have ended with an atta girl!

But it’s not just my family I’m missing it from. It’s hard for me to feel good about myself when everyone I live with is mad at me. I know they are wrong, but it doesn’t change the vibe. I don’t deserve to sacrifice my whole day for others and then not even get to feel good about it.

I deserve a f**king atta girl!

Thanks, Mom.

You’re the best.

I love you.

I think it’s time I start talking to myself:

Atta girl!

You are welcome.

You’re the best.

I love you.

[kanmom51]

Thanks for all your work this past week! I was thinking that Letter really is the song that Jimin said he would want to sing to his love when he answered the question back in 2016. We've always thought of Serendipity and that's certainly a good one, but Letter is so real and personal, I think Serendipity is now the preface and Letter is the forever.

On that note, I've been wondering if the Jimin we see today - confident and so sexy - would have existed if the relationship with JK didn't happen. JK always told/tells him how beautiful, cute, handsome he is, and has beautiful eyes etc. Plus the confidence a great physical relationship can give someone doesn't hurt lol.

One other side note, do you remember that concert when JK said he didn't sleep the night before because he was nervous about something he was going to do? I can't find it but it felt like something really big, like a proposal? Sorry if I missed the answer somewhere.

Thanks again and I love your page, it's my encyclopedia.

Took me a while but I got to you @ftmom1060, lol.

Will start from the end. I think you mean JK said he was nervous so he didn't sleep, not that he was nervous about something he was going to do? What I do remember are these:

I love your take on Letter, as in:

"Serendipity is now the preface and Letter is the forever."

Love this!!

As for your thoughts about JM and who he is today. I think it's easy to assume that JM without being part of BTS since 2012 (pre-debut), and most definitely without having JK by his side ever since, would not have turned out the same as the JM we know today.

It's a given. The people in our lives as we are growing up and maturing have a profound impact on who we become, to go or to bad. And besides JK we also had other people around him with influence that impacted who JM is today.

As for JK, we have his early years at times hurtful teasing (not only JK's for that matter), and we have JK since 2015 doing everything he can to erase all the damage and uplift JM with compliments and kind words and support and defending him and speaking up for him with the others as well.

I am positive that JK's love, adoration, has a lot to do with JM's confidence today, but we do need to remember that our self image comes from within, and even when our loved ones flood us with compliments, if we don't believe this on the inside, it helps, but it's not enough to repair our own self image. So, yes, it obviously helped, I mean, who of us wouldn't want to be complimented constantly, in front of the whole world. Of course it had an effect on him. All I'm saying is that it had to be an internal process as well.

And of course, finding happiness, finding someone you love to bits and adores you right back, being loved by someone like that, it also gives you a sense of confidence.

It definitely helps to know you are loved. It definitley helps to be showered with constant compliments. It helps you build up your confidence, but the initial work has to come from within.

We heard from JM how he struggled through the pandemic. JK was by his side to love him and support him. But at the end of the day it's an internal process he had to go through to get out of the place he was in. I like to look at the lyrics of Like crazy:

This will break me This is gonna break me (Break me) No, don’t you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on)

That part there. It says it all. It's about being lost but not wanting the help offered by others to be found, not when you are not yet ready for it yourself. Once you are ready for it, that is when you will accept that help and help yourself as well.

So yes, JM most likely wouldn't be who he is today if not JK and what they are and mean to each other. But in saying that, let's not underestimate the work that JM has done on himself, how far he has come to be the confident mature young man that he is today.

[greenerteacups]

I hope you are doing well and wish you a healthy recovery!

Thank you for writing Lionheart! You are an insanely gifted writer!

I hope this does not come off as rude. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be. I find myself worried about the Draco, Hermione and Ron love triangle, especially with what Harry said in the most recent chapter. With love triangles, especially in American media, it does a lot of character assassinations (?) and often puts FLs in a bad light as they lead on both love interests. I trust your process, but I am still nervous about how this will go because I love all three of them and don’t want them hurt/being led on. Can you possibly comment on this or reassure me? Thank you!!!

Hello, and first of all, thank you! I'm touched that you care enough about my characters that you came to my, the author's, inbox to plead on their behalf. It's a nice thought.

I don't think is rude, but I do think my answer may disappoint you. You're asking an author to promise you that their writing isn't going to have problems, which I hope you can understand is not something any author can truly do. And any author who does promise you they're going to get it right, every time, is either lying to you or ludicrously overconfident in their abilities. Everyone is going to fuck up a little bit. I hope that I'm not going to fuck it up in the way you're worried about, but I can't offer you anything more than my best whack at the golf ball, which is all you were going to get anyway.

If I were going to offer assurance, it would be something like this: By this point, you've read enough of my work to know how I write these characters, and what kinds of narrative tropes I generally enjoy. If you've enjoyed them too, it's a good sign that we share tastes. You might, on the basis of that evidence, trust me to continue writing things that indulge our shared tastes, or at the least do not betray the work that I've already done to indulge them, to the best of my ability.

But at the core, my answer is this: the only thing a writer can do to earn your trust is to write something that's worthy of it. If I have to beg for you to trust me the in paratext, then you shouldn't.

[leviathans-watching]

mfil - 41

-` ♡ ´- m.list | no taglist | next | wc: .8k

-` ♡ ´- a/n: four more chapters :)

*NOT CLICKBAIT!!!* when asmo learns that you, the newest exchange student has a youtube account and following somewhat comparable to his own, he decided right then and there not to like you. however, after an unfortunate (and misleading) exchange goes viral, he has no choice but to fake date you in order to save face. will asmo crush you and put you into place like you deserve? or are those funny feelings in his stomach not hate, like he had thought? like, subscribe, and maybe fall in love (with this smau) to find out!!

you freeze. is he going to tell the truth?

you don’t know what you’d do if he did. or what you’d do if he didn’t.

schooling your expression, you turn to him. he too, seems to have just realized what he read.

“our first kiss,” he repeats, quieter. “well, mc and i had just begun dating, and i was at their, well, diavolo’s house. like i am now, actually. we wanted to make a video where i did their makeup, because it sounded fun. so we got all ready, and it was as i was leaning over them, beginning the process, and they looked up at me. i just froze, heart racing.” he sighs, almost fondly.

and look, you can only spend so much time with someone lying before you learn their tells, and asmo… doesn’t seem like he’s lying.\

you don’t dare to think that he might feel the same way as you. he hates you, remember? can’t stand your presence.

“they actually pulled me in first,” he continues, and the chat explodes. you guess the audience hadn’t expected that. “and i was so surprised. now, i’m not going to go into too much detail about what happened next–” he says, winking at the camera, and you, unfortunately, remember how he’d ran away right after “–but let’s just say that mc is a pretty good kisser and i definitely enjoy kissing them.”

it takes you a second to move past that and remember it’s your turn for a question. get it together, mc.

“well, i’m glad you think that,” you say, a bit stiffly, and his eyes sharpen. “after all, otherwise things would be, er, kind of awkward. anyway,” you add hurriedly, turning to read the chat. ot’s moving really quickly, with so many people reacting to the story. one message in particular gains traction, with many people spamming it: kiss right now.

you lean back, sending a wide-eyed look asmo’s way. he reads the message, then freezes slightly.

“we should probably give the audience what they want,” you mutter, not entirely selfless in the pursuit, now that he talked about kissing you, you really want to do it again. even if it is a stupid idea, which is absolutely is.

asmo’s face is unreadable, and he turns to the camera, a smile sliding into place. “fine, fine. we see the messages. we’ll kiss. but nothing crazy, at least not for free.”

“asmo!” your cheeks heat and you hit him in the arm. he laughs, and you realize he probably said that to mess with you more than anything.

his hand comes up around your cheek, and you gulp, suddenly nervous. you shouldn’t even be nervous! he was the one that ran away last time, not you!

gently, you lean in, and before you know it, his lips are on yours. it’s nothing crazy, like he’d said, and what you’re feeling must be relief for that. you stare at him after he pulls away, completely forgetting about the live, the camera, the chat, and he does the same.

after a long moment, you finally break the moment, pulling all of the way away from him. “well,” you say to the live, clearing your throat, “it’s been great, but i think asmo and i are going to call it a night. thanks for tuning in and asking questions! i love you all!” you don’t even let asmo say anything, just ending the live.

“you realize everyone thinks we’re going to have sex now, right?” he asks, and you put your face in your hands. “oh, come on,” he says after a moment, “is kissing me really that bad?”

you give him a dark glare. “i should be asking you that,” you huff. “i mean, after all, you literally ran away the last time we kissed.”

that shuts him up. but not for long. “i was just taken by surprise,” he whines. “kissing you is fine.”

“so you weren’t lying on the live?” you ask, and his throat bobs as he swallows. now’s not the time to get distracted by that smooth skin, damn it!

“i don’t know what you want me to say.”

“the truth,” you say, exhaling nervously. “i want to know if you still actually really hate me.”

“o-of course i do!” he says quickly, and really, what had you expected.

“well, the feelings are mutual.” you stand. “i think i’m ready for bed now. good night.” you don’t even wait for him to stand, turning off the lights and crawling right under the covers. he can figure out how to deal.

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