#i am so genuinely disgusted with some peoples actions and am so frustrated that it feels like my bones are vibrating

[jeepers-scoob]

Just a lil vent post bc this is also my diary when I can't get myself to actually write

How to explain that hearing and reading about some of the awful shit that is happening makes me feel physically sick and so frustrated bc so much of the hate filled rhetoric and actions literally make no sense and it's all so hypocritical and everything always seems so messed up but at the same time we are doing better than previous generations (you couldn't pay me to live anytime earlier) and it's so amazing seeing how we can help each other and what we are willing to do for others and knowing that it can get better but the problem is that it doesn't make me feel less sick about the bad without sounding wacky and/or ungrateful

[utilitycaster]

i think it's telling that so many of the responses to imogen's convos with liliana and laudna were 'this is kinda fucked up and i am fascinated by it and am enjoying it' and but the response to THAT was like 'STOP trying to make everything toxic, ugh fandom never should've learned therapy speak'. like. ignoring that's NOT what that is, people are pretty clearly interacting POSITIVELY with these moments but because what they're enjoying is the parts that are messy, that's somehow bad too???

YUP! There are definitely people who use therapy speak inappropriately, including about Imogen and Laudna, and honestly I pretty specifically avoided using the word "toxic" (or "codependent") about their most recent interaction, but like...there is nothing wrong with enjoying the relationship for being messy! A good deal of the people who are calling it toxic or messy are people who support it and enjoy it! A good deal of people who don't particularly like the relationship for being flat and bland and the conflict constantly fizzling out into nothing, myself included, perked up at yesterday's conversation! It was fascinating: Laudna went to comfort Imogen and told her she loved her, and Imogen's response was to say "oh, you love me? well then why did you go running off to Delilah the second we were apart? why did you lie to me a second time [Laudna did not lie to her the first time, which by now Imogen knows]?"

I don't actually think Imogen's opinions re: Delilah are inconsistent - I think she very specifically started becoming uncomfortable after encountering Delilah in the middle of the night in Whitestone (and I think Laura said as much on a 4SD too), and so her previous assertions about digging into their power sources are not hypocritical. However, yeah, I think we should talk about how both of the two big kisses between these characters are specifically Imogen trying to cut off an emotional speech from Laudna - I don't think it is intended as manipulation, but rather coming from a place of profound fear, but that's still something you need to deal with because this is now three pretty significant cases of kicking the can of conflict down the road and it's only snowballing. I think we should talk about how actually maybe it's valid that Imogen, who has had to make a lot of difficult decisions regarding her engagement with Predathos's power and could be risking losing her powers through her actions, is frustrated that Laudna hasn't done the same with Delilah, but neither of them are working it out. Imogen is letting an assassination of her mother go forward - and I agree with her choice - and Laudna hasn't done anything to extricate herself from Delilah in 30 years despite expressing interest early in the campaign. Imogen is about to lose her mother because her mother declared her reliance on a potentially evil power as an inevitability and wouldn't listen to her, and Laudna's now doing the exact same thing.

And on the other hand, again, Laudna hasn't lied to Imogen. Imogen cut off Laudna's angry, hurt, and extremely valid rant about being betrayed by Bor'Dor by asking to kiss her and so Laudna, trying to make Imogen happy, never worked out these feelings and they've just been building up. Laudna can't express her fears to Imogen because Imogen will demonstrably cut her off. If Imogen is disgusted by Delilah, and that's not going away, what does that mean? Like, is the love enough? I don't know? Could be, but not without actually having a means of resolving all of these extremely valid hurt feelings, and they don't have that. And maybe some of us would like to have some resolution, and are getting real tired of the particularly dim children going "uwu let me have my cottagecore stardew valley dream you all are such MEANIES let people like things" which. Again, if the fact that other people want different things from this relationship is genuinely preventing you from liking things, that's entirely your problem, because I like all kinds of things other people dislike. If you cannot stomach any dissent from your personal interpretation and perceive it as an attack, that says a lot of things about you and none of them bode well.

There is a deeply frustrating tendency that is not limited to this fandom, nor to discussion of Imogen and Laudna, to deny that traumatized characters can hurt other people. You see it with some of the dumber discussions of Ludinus that presume he is specifically a survivor of Aeor (valid as a theory, but unconfirmed); his (hypothetical) trauma does not negate how many other people's lives he's ruined. Percy is deeply traumatized but he did still introduce the gun to the world. Fjord is traumatized but had he willingly completed Uk'otoa's unsealing that would have caused untold damage. Astrid is traumatized but she's still done terrible things as a Volstrucker. FCG and Yasha are both traumatized and both were not even in control of their actions when they caused their worst harm, and they both feel terrible about what they've done. I mean, touching on this episode, it is not actually a contradiction to say both "Liliana is traumatized and has been indoctrinated by a cult and is a victim of said cult and genuinely believes she is doing this for Imogen's benefit" and also "Liliana is a fucking shitty mom." These are both true. This is what cycles of abuse and generational trauma look like. This is what that "blorbo-centered morality" is; suddenly when it's your favorite character they can do no wrong and every explanation becomes, instead, an excuse.

I've been talking a lot about the harassment in this fandom and it really is like...look, I don't know if this harassment is coming, from some of those partaking in it, from a personal trauma. I do not want to ascribe shitty behavior to mental illness, because some people are just assholes. But if it is - it doesn't make it okay! If you are lashing out and sending hate because you project a lot of your own trauma onto Imogen or your own relationships to that of Imogen and Laudna and you perceive every bit of criticism as an attack on you, guess what! You're being a fucking asshole by trying to hurt other people and it does not ultimately matter that it might come from a place of your own hurt and you need to stop.

I've been going off about this and related topics all morning and so I do want to step back and say that I believe this is a relatively small group of people with an outsized toxic impact. I do think that many people are enjoying the relationship for its complexity and unhealthy, messy aspects, that most people would love to read more Imogen meta that covers her as a whole, complex person and not as a tee hee just a silly guy girlfailure. But yeah, I think everyone is getting increasingly done with the group of people who throw a tantrum and retreat into the most idiotic See Spot Run-levels of conflict fantasies whenever there's actual grit and friction and mess in the relationship.

[ruinaimagines]

i love this blog sm i binge read most of the HCs here, also just to fill my brain with happy in the future and because reqs are open how would the sefirot react if their favorite employee (you) were replaced by nothing there?

HEYY I am so glad my writing brings enough entertainment that you’re willing to binge them!! Thank you for the compliments and ofc ofc you may.

Sefirot Reacting to You Being Replaced by Nothing There Headcanons:

Malkuth would immediately know something is off based on the uncanny stare ‘you’ offered. Didn’t help that the responses weren’t really.. Responses to what she was trying to get your attention for. Would immediately bring it up to others to check on you and figure out what happened, wouldn’t delay in action at all especially with how risky that would be in the Lobotomy Corp environment. Would be mortified upon realizing that it’s none other than Nothing There, leaving a very unfavorable reality for you. Is heartbroken over this but at the same time knows she has to move on, it’s part of the job after all. This will probably impede her work flow for a bit and she will put emphasis on paying close attention to the abnormality so stuff like this won’t happen again.

Yesod probably gets frustrated with your lack of proper answers to his words, thinking that for whatever reason you might just be being stubborn. Will repeat things only to realize ohh. Oh. That’s not you. Immediately calls someone over to suppress the abnormality before it can go on a rampage. Feels a little bad for getting irritated and assuming it was you, considering that it kinda implies that you’re uh.. Not in the best shape. People will notice that he seems to be a lot more snappy and short tempered in the coming days as well as drown himself in even more work than he did before.

C’mon don’t do this to Netzach he already has 500 reasons to be sad. Genuinely thinks it’s just you joking around and playing dumb for a little bit, so he entertains Nothing There for a little while unintentionally. Then it sort of starts to rub him the wrong way and he notices that the behaviors you usually have just aren’t the same. Honestly open to being mauled by Nothing There when it clicks but yeah that wouldn’t really work out in the end. Like why did it have to be you? Honestly considering bribing the manager with the fact he’ll do his work (let’s be real for a week at most) if he can bring you back.. But he also wants to trash talk him so he’s torn between two sides. Doesn’t help that his team is meant to ensure the security of the employees, just salt in the wound really.

NOO NOT HOD poor baby knows some things off so her first response is to ask if you’re okay. Thinks you’re just struggling with words to explain but no Nothing There is just like that. Only figures out that it’s the abnormality when someone else points it out for her, and when I tell you if machines could have facial expressions the way her look morphed into being mortified. Feels stupid and also terrible because she really enjoyed talking to you, even blaming herself a bit though it wasn’t her fault. Does not speak for the rest of the meeting and everyone can tell that it’s had an impact on her.

Tiphereth is like Yesod where she’s initially pretty annoyed and thinks you’re pranking her, only to learn the truth and be thoroughly disgusted with Nothing There. Will claim that you’re an idiot for letting that happen to you in the first place, and that you should’ve been more careful and then immediately begin writing 30 papers on why the abnormality needs more secure containment procedures as well as trying to convince the manager that you were one of the few actually competent ones. She does care, and she will put effort in trying to get you back.

Gebura is pissed. She already has some pretty rocky foundations with Nothing There, and because of such can immediately tell when it’s that horrid thing and not you. It gets suppressed the moment she lays eyes on it, no hesitation at all, and with immense loathing. The manager will be rewinding the day whether he wants to or not, she doesn’t even have to say anything you can just tell that she is not having it and it’s probably the best course of action if you don’t want half of the facility to be trashed. Doesn’t even have time to be super sad because yeah you’ll be back.

Okay well Chesed always knew this posed a risk, and externally seemed pretty laid back about it. A sort of ‘That’s really unfortunate, feel free to take your time everyone’ where he knows the atmosphere is heavy. You’d think he’s taking it well so long as you don’t see the 80 coffee mugs strewn about his office. If robots could have the shakes you’d think he was in the middle of an earthquake. Given it’s very likely you were a part of his department and one of the more stronger agents, he will make not-so-subtle suggestions of rewinding the day. I mean hey everything can just be redone, it’s not too big of a deal, plus it doesn't seem worth the cost of a really useful employee right? Right???

Yeah Hokma is not having it. He understands you might be a bit immature at times but there is no way this is slipping from him. Stares at the abnormality with all I can describe as a powerful disapproving look. The old man starts speaking in what seems to be riddles for the rest of the day, going on about some philosophy that only makes sense to the other employees in his district (and even then sometimes it’s hard to process). Will continue to talk about you a lot, even if he doesn’t directly say your name everyone knows who he’s speaking of. Honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he kept a memoir photo around.

Binah just shrugs it off, an indifferent ‘that sucks’ air to her as she goes about her day like it’s more of a mild inconvenience if anything. It might come across like she could care less about your death, but really it’s because she feels pretty confident that it will be rectified. The most unaffected out of everyone, going back to her work and watching the other employees as she waits for the day to come to a close. If it seems like it won’t be fixed? Well, she’s already quite the threatening individual, what makes you think she won’t go through with it? Really the best course of action is just to play the safest route, after all it’s hard to understand what’s going on in that kind of hers.

[lastoneout]

Talking critically about about One Piece below pls feel free to ignore me completely I just have to get this Out Of My Head or I'ma go insane

So I've reached the "Sanji is transphobic" part of the comic, and while I can't deny that is a very accurate description of his behavior, I must say I'm a little miffed that up to this point I have seen this framed as if it is entirely a problem with Sanji as a character and nothing more when like...THIS is how Oda is choosing to depict trans women:

I have been told that things get better and that there is a trans character in one of the latest arcs, and tbh this is very frustrating bcs I actually quite enjoyed the way the drag queen/gender liberated characters were portrayed in the previous chapters, it wasn't perfect but it was far more nuanced and sympathetic and progressive than what we typically see in anime, so yeah seeing this INTENSE backside directly into what looks borderline indistinguishable from a transphobic political comic is just.....it's not great.

Like I am really desperately trying not to be a Sanji apologist here, bcs his behavior sucks and I will fully acknowledge that, but I think framing this as a "Sanji" problem and not a problem with the comic overall is maybe minimizing the issue.

I will say I think given that the previous depictions of genderfluid and trans characters has been good that Oda isn't trying to be transphobic outright, I doubt he would write cool trans characters if he genuinely hated trans people, and I understand that he's added another trans character, plus the manga has 1088 chapters and this stuff is around chapter 600 so they came out a long while ago and I don't like holding old stuff against people, but yeah it's just weird to me that so much blame is placed on One Single Character as if the manga otherwise is very progressive when again, the narrative and thus the author seem to be validating Sanji's opinion or at least are completely comfortable making a painfully long and very transphobic "creepy predatory man in a dress who others find revolting" joke.

And that's not even getting into the sexism and racism and fatphobia(which ones weird to me also that none of the other characters are labeled as problematic for saying or doing bigoted stuff, it's only Sanji who gets that treatment?? I get he's easy to hate but this inconsistency is bugging me) and like...guys at some point we have to acknowledge that Sanji and all the other characters are behaving a certain way not because they are real people with agency, but bcs they are written by a human who has flaws and biases and yes, uninformed, bigoted opinions.

Plus like...idk imo framing it as a Sanji problem also rings hollow to me bcs again he's not real. It feels like letting the people ACTUALLY responsible off the hook when they're the only ones who have the power to change anything. Sanji didn't decide to be that way on his own, he's incapable of such an action, and he can't change his behavior or the writing of the comic, he isn't real. Oda wrote him and the others like that, and he can change things too.

So maybe just put the blame on the correct shoulders pls. That's all I'm suggesting.

Edit: Also maybe just me but imo there's nothing about Sanji's characterization that signals to me that he would obviously find trans women disgusting?? I know there are plenty of slutty men who love trans women!! And while he is a creep, them writing that the character who most openly loves basically every woman he meets could obviously never find a trans woman beautiful or arousing is like....IT'S A CHOICE.

[stagnantmako]

ooc.

this is another 'this goes here so i don't scream at twitter' rant but

so im a huge horror fan. horror games, horror movies, horror novels - horror is my jam. and horror is more than jumpscares and 'cozy horror'. horror is frequently entirely in a character's psyche - in their actions. that's why shit like 'psycho' is a classic.

this month i have seen so many stupid, rancid takes on horror movies from people who are just genuinely incapable of understanding the meaning of a story unless it's spoonfed to them.

a few months ago i watched an analysis video on some game i truly do not care about for background noise and the whole thing was the person not... understanding that the disconnect between the player character and her environment was the entire point of the story. her denial was meant to be frustrating. as you go on you're supposed to realize she's so deeply, deeply in her delusional denial that she will ignore obvious evidence in front of her face and invent reasons why its wrong.

it was meant to be a story where someone refuses to acknowledge what is in front of their face.

but the essayist was. under the belief. that the game devs were explicitly condoning the bad thing that was done. they were calling them disgusting monsters, arguing that they were definitely pedophiles. i went from 'this is background noise' to stopping what i was doing to watch the actual gameplay and growing more, and more, and more concerned.

in this same video, the person admitted that they read lolita and did not realize that hh was meant to be the antagonist. they were unable to recognize his actions as monsterous because he was the narrator.

and BOY HOWDY that sure did NOT MAKE ME FEEL CONFIDENT IN THIS PERSON BEING ABLE TO UNDERSTAND MEDIA IN ANY CAPACITY that's like giant, waving red flags in 'I AM EASILY SWAYED BY PROPAGANDA BECAUSE I CANNOT THINK ON THE DEEPER REASONS I AM BEING SHOWN THINGS'

i see the horror discourse on twitter and i see rn that the big takeaway is "IF THE STORY IS NOT CONDEMNING THIS THEN IT'S GOOD" and i am sure as fuck realizing that due to funding being stripped from the education system we have a whole generation of people who cannot grasp a story more complex than an aesop's fable. Because the stories they’re citing DO condemn it, but no one is turning to the camera to lay it out for you.

god i hate it i hate the fact that people full on cannot grasp that portrayal doesn't equal condoning and EQUALLY DOES NOT EQUAL condoning in real life

the horror is meant to come from the character's being so psychologically broken that whatever aberrant behavior they're doing is. being done in the first place. your inability to understand common tropes is not the fault of the creator, its a failing in your education.

[aquilaaktuk]

-- Not proofread. I wrote this in a fit of rage while also being extremely ill. If I said something stupid or something that doesn't make sense lmk and I'll clarify.

I always knew that Helluva Boss would have a lot of morally reprehensible actions from the main cast featured in it, after all, it's set in hell. Also, you can show something in your series, and so long as it's shown to be a bad thing, then it's okay, because you're not actively glorifying the bad thing.

So imagine my surprise when the first episode of season two of Helluva Boss comes out and it not only romanticises slavery, but also makes Stolas look like a good person who hasn't done anything wrong besides neglect his daughter but it's okay now they made up.

The slavery thing is definitely the worst, I mean it was not addressed at ALL. Paimon literally buys Blitzø for the day and the show makes it look all good and fun, with the kids running around having a grand old time. It doesn't even come up later that Blitzø was forced to take away from his own enjoyment to literally steal from royalty for his father.

By the way I used to really like Stolas. I thought he was really fun to watch, if a bit cringeworthy at times, but that's the point right. He hadn't seen Blitzø since they were actual children, then when he suddenly appears at a party Stolas is in some 25 years later, Stolas' first thought isn't "oh my god! An old friend! How has life treated you?!". Stolas' first thought is "oh you turned up because you want to fuck me".

"but he was drunk!!!" Well, for one, alcohol sets in fast, but not THAT fast. Also being drunk doesn't equate to being horny. Most people aren't horny drunks.

Okay let's assume its magical hell alcohol and stolas being a magical hell bird can absorb it instantly and is now drunk. That doesn't make his reaction okay. Nor does it give the show any excuse to make it look like anything other than horrifying.

Blitzø is there to steal Stolas' book. Blitzø does not want to fuck stolas. Blitzø could not care less about stolas. He just wants his book. Stolas' misses Blitzø terribly. Stolas' is obviously drunk. Blitzø knows this, and still just really wants the book. Blitzø entertains stolas because he just needs to keep him busy enough to not realise he is stealing his book. Blitzø successfully steals the book and can leave RIGHT NOW. Stolas' says something that makes Blitzø feel bad and decide to TURN AROUND even though he is VERY CLOSE to achieving what he set out to do, and fuck a guy he has not seen nor cared about for the better part of 25 years because he FELT BAD. There's a word for what is happening, and we all know it.

First, Stolas is drunk, Blitzø is sober, Blitzø can definitely consent, whereas Stolas cannot. Second, Blitzø doesn't want to fuck Stolas, but Stolas, in his drunken stupor, says something that makes Blitzø feel bad and fuck him so he doesn't feel guilty anymore.

I'm not the authority on the topic, but I'm of the mind that Blitzø, however reluctantly, took advantage of Stolas. It was VERY obvious that the guy was drunk, and that Blitzø only actually did it to calm his own feelings of guilt. Some guy you knew 25 years ago drunkenly telling you how nice it is to finally be able to so intimately know his only friend is NOT consent. And I am disgusted at how many fans are saying it's cute and awkward or cringey, and that despite all this we CONTINUE to see people genuinely enjoy the Stolitz ship. I used to like it too! NOT ANYMORE.

Alright this is a lot more fickle than everything above but it pissed me off the same.

Let's ignore the shitty musical number, if you want a character half-crying-half-singing listen to Frustration Tears from Centaurworld, that's far superior.

Nein, I want to focus on the shows insistence on villainising Stella. Is she completely innocent? No! She hired a hitman on her husband! That's not something good people do! Obviously! However. We need to consider her side of the arrangement, since the show obviously fails to do so. For the following exercise we will be ignoring the latter half of this new episode where Stella tries to physically abuse Stolas. I have a reason for this, and I'll get to it later.

Stolas isn't happy about the marriage arrangement, and we can assume Stella isn't either. They're both obviously very different types of people, with Stolas being much more introverted and has simple pleasures. Spending time with his daughter, bad latin-american soap operas, academia (presumably). Stella is much more extroverted and all about appearances, which isn't inherently bad. She likes hosting lavish parties and gossiping with friends and something we can all agree on is that she values reputation. Her own AND that of her family. Which again, isn't an inherently bad thing. If someone has a bad reputation it's probably for good reason.

So knowing all this, how do you think Stella would react knowing that her husband (who she didn't even really agree to marry, again, she's a victim of this arranged marriage too, as much as the show likes to gloss over that fact) who is married to her, and of high status, not only CHEATED on her, but cheated on her with the lowest ranking type of demon in hell. Is it classist as hell? YES. Are classist main characters common in HB? ALSO YES. If we want to make Stella look like a bad person because of her classism then we need to do the same about Blitzø.

Anyway, if knowledge that Stolas, a member of the Goesha family, who is MARRIED and has a DAUGHTER, CHEATED on his wife with an imp, it would DECIMATE not just his reputation, but also Stella's, Octavia's, AND the rest of their family's. Stella is NOT in the wrong for wanting to try and protect her and her family's reputation and then getting angry at Stolas when he does it WHILE her friends are over. She's also not in the wrong for being bitter about being in an arranged marriage. Is saying horrible things about a husband you were forced to marry that you really don't want much to do with (and the feeling is mutual) to your friends bad? Yes. Obviously. She's horrible for that. Stolas isn't any better for ruining one of the things that Stella values most, and being consciously aware of it.

And here's the thing. I really truly personally believe that if Stolas was willing to communicate that he wanted to see other people to Stella, she might've let him. The big problem in their relationship is communication. They do not fucking talk. If Stella was that disappointed with Stolas' performance in bed she should have told him and they could have worked something out. She did not choose to need to sleep with this guy, she could have acknowledged it and they could have spoken and found a way to make it more enjoyable for them both. Stolas is no better. If he was that miserable in his relationship, then he could have just TOLD Stella that he wanted to see someone discretely on the side, and she might've been okay with that so long as it was kept extremely private so as to not get out. She might've even been relieved! Because then he'd be out more and she could spend more time with her friends who she obviously massively prefers.

They're not good people at all, and they actively brought out the worst in each other during their marriage and all of it could've easily been rectified if they were just willing to talk and the shows absolute insistence that Stella is the villain and evil is absolutely disheartening to me. Because she's also a victim of this arranged marriage. Nobody ENJOYS being that unhappy. She isn't staying in because she likes disappointing sex and a husband who won't stand up for himself. She's staying in because leaving would shatter her and her family's reputation and she is willing to endure the discomfort if it means everyone else sees them in a positive light.

And now I get back to Stella trying to hit Stolas. I think this is SO hilariously shallow of the crew to put in, and quite literally ONLY exists to make Stella look like the villain in the story. She hired a hitman on Blitzø, we didn't need to personal touch of actually trying to hurt him personally. It's extremely out of character for her. If she wanted to backhand Stolas, she would hire someone to do it for her. Because if the knowledge got out that she actively hit Stolas, then her reputation would be in tatters. If she hired someone to do it, then just about anyone else with money could be blamed. YES she is bad for hiring Striker, but forcing her to hit Stolas for... Dramatic effect? just to make her look like the villain is the worst thing they could've done to her character. She deserved so much better. Not as a person, but as a character. The writers here have absolutely NOT done her justice.

Am I still a massive fan of HB? Kind of yeah. I will still be watching all the new episodes as they come out because I still thinks it's a decent show despite its uh... Flaws. I'm just very disappointed with how this new season is starting. Hopefully the following episodes will be far superior, because this has got to be the single worse episode of HB to date.

[icharchivist]

Im watching a tv show (that started in 2018 and is still ongoing) with family i only have a mild interest in but it kinda starts to dwell on Biblical stuff and, more recently, the Noah Ark, and i was just yeah whatever sure that's an american show ofc they would eventually go fully on this

But then suddenly a character started to bring up that the one thing they should consider about Noah was the legends and interpretation saying that "According to some legends, Noah was actually disgusted by God's actions with the flood and wanted to destroy all God had done out of spite making him an agent of the apocalypse"

And i genuinely bursted into HYSTERICAL laughing in full glee, unable to help myself from saying loudly "THAT'S LITERALLY THE PLOT OF D GRAY MAN WHAT DO YOU MEAN IS IT BASED ON A REAL INTERPRETATION????", startling the people i was watching it with

And later on another character went on about "actually Noah told everyone what he thought could save them but was frustrated by how little people listened to him so he begged God to kill everyone but his family making him an agent of the apocalypse" which I'm just HEYO???

All of my time obsessing over dgm and i never looked into whenever this interpretation actually has some root into some readings, so instead i am just vibrating and losing my shit over a show i was just mild over because i can't get over this SUPER SPECIFIC way to target me I'm screaming

Dgm (2014-ongoing) is really That Shit and i may be sure that this interpretation exist but it doesnt stop my brain to go "are you inspired by Dgm HELLO"

[songmingisthighs]

[23.35] badboy!Seonghwa × reader

⇀ you broke up for a reason, he wasn't willing to commit fully to you and he was the one who ended things. Funny how now he's the jealous one.

⇁tw : mentions of infidelity

⇁ part 1 / 2

⇁ prologue part 1 / 2 / 3

Things were thrown left and right, glasses breaking, frames cracking, and throw pillows haphazardly flung to the sides.

"Why!? Why would you come back here and-" you cut yourself off to grab another pillow to throw at Seonghwa, which he dodge easily, "start to fucking dictate my life again!?"

Seonghwa rolled his eyes at your dramatics, "really? You think I was dictating your life? Never had I ever told you to do anything you didn't want" he scoffed.

Your eyes twitch at that, "other than telling me that we can't be seen out in public, telling me I need to stop hanging out with some of my guy friends because you have a feeling that they're 'iffy', or telling me that I'm overthinking it when you were flirting with girls on and off campus, even managed to made out with one of them in public where I was standing in the crowd," you spoke so fast, you hadn't even realized that you hadn't taken a breath until you were gasping.

The look in Seonghwa's eyes when he looked at your red face and gasping, even coughing a little seemed genuine. He was worried because he knew that you're passionate about your feelings and you tend to speak your mind no matter how miniscule nor unflattering it is.

He took a step forward to get closer to you, but you took a step back, "don't," you warned, glaring at him straight in his eyes.

Defeated, Seonghwa sighed, "I just wanted to know why Yunho was here, since when had he frequent here that it was acceptable for him to stay here until well over 1 am," Seonghwa tried so hard to keep his voice level to not show emotions, which thankfully for him, he was able to. It is something he considered a gift, but to most, a nuisance since no one could really read him. Except you, but you do see through his bullshit so well.

You crossed your arms at this, "what? Can't handle the fact that your friend's been comforting the girl you dump to dick around since our breakup?"

Seonghwa's eyes darken at that, "he's been coming here back and forth for 3 months?" His question made you roll your eyes at him, "4, Seonghwa, it has been 4 months since our breakup. See? You can't even remember which girl you broke up with when," though you meant it as an insult to him, you couldn't help but feel hurt as well, like a bitter reminder that you were never the only one for him.

Realizing his mistake, Seonghwa could only cringe at himself, he's internally smacking himself upside the head.

But he, as a notorious badboy, doesn't want his façade to drop, so he pretend that he meant what he said. No matter how much he wants to hold your hands and told you he's had his days jumbled together eversince he lost- let you go in favour of his status when his friends started pointing out how he's been missing their hangouts from time to time.

Yunho was the first and the only one who found out about you. You've never seen Seonghwa lost his shit so quick when his eyes met with Yunho's outside the corridor of your apartment, promptly shoving you inside harshly that caused you to bump your head on the wall.

It wasn't until Yunho calmly told Seonghwa that it's none of his business and he's very happy for him that Seonghwa calmed down a little.

Never in a million years would he found you and Yunho getting close.

Even seeking comfort from him.

You should be asking for his comfort instead, no matter how selfish it is of Seonghwa and unfair to you.

"I," you sighed, "I've had a rough day today, I really don't need this right now, I just wanna rest a-and get my energy back for tomorrow, so please just fucking leave, Seonghwa, you were really good at that," you were in the verge of crying out of frustration. But you held your grounds, unwilling to show your vulnerability to the guy who stripped every single bit of confidence off of you.

You were about to walk to your door to show him out when he suddenly pull you into his embrace.

Your first instinct, to be beyond honest, was to sigh and bury yourself deeper in him. He still smell and feel like home to you.

But then you got thinking of how many girls within the span of your whole relationship plus the 4 months of breakup has he held. The thought disgust you. It disgusted you that you let your fondness for him resurface even just for a little bit.

So you push.

You push him away.

You push him hard.

When you look up, he almost seem heartbroken. You know he does, out of everything, his eyes showed the most emotion, and if people weren't so afraid of him, they'd be able to read his thoughts better by simply making eye contact with him.

"Don't you act like you're the one who had their heart broken to pieces, Seonghwa, you wanna be the tough guy? Then man up and accept the consequence of your actions,"

With that you slammed the door on him, thinking that this is it for the both of you.

Unbeknownst to you, he thought otherwise.

[yandere-sins]

May I please request number 12. Bite Marks and number 14. Carving for Nagito Komaeda? thank you so much :)

Will do! Thank you for requesting ^-^ I will give you some submissive yandere and trickster darling today. Tomorrow? Who knows. I will say, I’d rate it mature, but nothing really happens.

Bite marks - “You.. love me right.. not them? Oh god please say you love me..!!” 

Carving - “Please! You can use me all you like don’t leave me!”

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

“I love you.”

The clanking of the food tray crashing to the ground was your smallest concern at that moment. You kept your eyes pinned to the ceiling, not acknowledging Nagito’s shock in favor of maintaining the surprise as nonchalant as possible. It wasn’t the time to give him satisfaction; it was merely time to make him fret a little.

“But Hajime... I’m not sure. I keep thinking about him. Wondering what he’s been up to since I left. Maybe that’s love too?”

The gulp he did was audible, as you mentioned his former friend. You had never tried before or even thought that it might affect Nagito to talk about your feelings, rather than the feelings you had towards him after he kidnapped and strapped you to a bed. His mouth opened and closed a few times as he wanted to say something, but aside from small croaks, nothing escaped from his vocals.

Ignoring the fallen tray, he walked back to your bed, standing beside you like the creep he was. Nagito staring down at you wasn’t a comfortable ordeal, and you never knew what he thought as he watched you quietly. Sadly, this had become too much of a norm to bother you anymore. Did he figure out you were pulling at his heartstrings with well-placed words and doubts? Would Nagito see through your lies?

Sinking to his knees, he leaned on the mattress, peering at you sharply. But him fidgeting gave away that he tried to play it cool while, really, he was just his usual self - a mess. Intrigued, needy, and most importantly, desperate for any acknowledgment from you.

“[Name], say it again,” he asked timidly, but he couldn’t hide the desire cracking in his voice.

“Do you think it’s possible? Loving two people?” you continued, undeterred by Nagito’s need.

Immediately, a hand snapped forward, moderating itself before it laid down on the cheek furthest away from him, pushing to have you turn your head. Finally, you looked at him. Immediately, you found the disgusting satisfaction he felt from receiving your gaze on him, plastered all over his face. “Say you love me again,” Nagito urged. You were disgusted by his touch, his thumb caressing your cheek so very affectionately, but you would take it if it helped fulfill your plan.

“But I’m not sure, maybe I love Hajime--”

“No, no, no!” he yelled suddenly. Before long, both hands were cupping your face in them while his legs climbed over you. “You said you love me! You love me! Me!” One moment, Nagito seemed pained by you speaking another man’s name, his hands shaking and eyes wildly searching for clues that would confirm him. But now that your mouth kept quiet, you saw a familiar yet strange sense of despair crawling into his expression.

“You.. love me, right... not him? Oh god, please say you love me!”

Nagito took a deep breath, and you knew that he’d begin to talk like a waterfall now, almost unstoppable. If you weren’t talking to him, he’d monologue as long as needed to calm himself and some more, getting himself off the desperation and desire he felt. But not this time, not when you wouldn’t let him.

“I love you,” you stated as a matter of fact. It wasn’t supposed to sound happy, nor outright like sarcasm, you had to declare it as if it was no big deal or Nagito would see through your charade.

“Ah,” he sighed, lips curling into a smile while his face flushed red. “You do love me,” he muttered, his expression gradually becoming more distorted from happiness. “You love me, too! Finally! I loved you all this time. Every second since we met, I loved you. I love you! You love me!”

Nothing you could have done against him leaning down, lifting your head as much as your restraints allowed, kissing you. He did it before, and as always, it was a sloppy, needy kiss, just this time, you moved your lips ever so slightly to reciprocating it. Spurred on by your actions, Nagito deepened it, moans shuddering over his lips while he kept demanding more and more. Disgusted, you gave it to him, let him have it. Waited for him to pull away first to take a breather.

He had closed his eyes for the kiss, but when he opened them again, you immediately caught them with yours. Panting against your lips, when he approached again, you denied him the kiss ever so slightly, causing him to whine softly. He had no reason to stop but perhaps, not wanting to be hated again, did it for him.

“Untie me,” you whispered seductively, pressing your lips to his briefly before pulling away, watching as he leaned in for more. “Let me love you, Nagito.”

There was so much fighting with himself, all of it showing in his expression. However, the part of him that didn’t think it was a good idea to free you slowly but surely lost to the one that wanted so desperately to be loved by you. Wholly and fully, and hopefully with remaining marks as to always remember.

This time when he leaned in for a kiss, you let him, pleased him by returning the affection. It was the test to see if you genuinely were devoted, some part of his mind careful of not being scammed by you. But with you two eagerly exchanging your breaths, his doubts melted away until he finally pulled his hands from your face to reach above you two, fiddling with the ropes around your wrists.

The tugs and pulls hurt, but it was nothing compared to the racing of your heart, the knowledge this was working. He really was freeing you. He really was doing it! You felt your hand collapse onto the bed the moment the rope stopped holding it in place. The wound was throbbing, but you only strained your neck to kiss him more, packed with excitement and urging him on. His hesitation before untying the second rope disappeared, and he began to loosen it even quicker.

“[Name]... [Name]!” he kept calling out to you as if you’d disappear if he didn’t speak up. You soothed his anxiety with your presence, allowing your bodies to warm each other, used all your strength to move your arm at least forward again. Nagito sunk into your palm even though you couldn’t use it properly.

Like a child into the affection of a parent, he was so damn naive.

It was just a matter of time now. You did it carefully, using him and his desire to be touched and caressed by you to train your hands, do what had to be done. Even if it meant you had Nagito rub all over you, impatiently waiting for more of your love and affection, you knew it would at least keep him unaware and well-disposed to the biggest part of your plan.

Finally, you managed to use your arms again. They still hurt and strained upon moving, but you took that in exchange for your freedom. Hugging Nagito, you fogged his mind with another deep kiss, pressing your body against him until he caved away, the position changing quickly. Now on top of him, you giggled and played along, pushing his arms back over his head and driving your hands over them promisingly.

“Let me tie you up, alright? I want to be the one giving you all the love. You don’t need to do even a single thing.”

Nagito froze, having the same kind of fight with himself that he had before untying you, but you simply cozied up to him, kissed from his temples to his chin. “Pretty please? Let me make it up to you and show you my love,” you purred, feeling absolutely disgusted by the pleading implications in your words. But whatever needed to be done, you were willing to do.

“O-Okay,” he finally agreed, shivering lightly while you grinned. “You’re such a good boy,” you praised him as you slowly but surely wrapped the rope around his wrists. “I love you, [Name],” he whimpered, trying to hide the pain he felt as you pulled the ropes skin-tight. “I know,” you pressed out from between your teeth. “I fucking know.”

Leaning back after securing the triple knot, you let your head fall into your neck, looking up at the ceiling one last time. You had seen it so much the last few days, counted all the holes in it and spiders crawling over it. But no longer. And you didn’t care if Nagito would have to rot down here for all eternity either. “What a shit hole,” you complained, inelegantly climbing off him and onto your feet.

Immediately dizziness hit you as you stood straight up again, but this would be the last thing stopping you now. Your legs seemed to have trouble keeping you on top of them, but holding on to chairs standing around and the walls did the trick, leading you towards the door. “[Name]? Where are you going?” Nagito called after you. “Hey! Don’t leave me--”

“Shut up, Nagito. It’s over,” you hissed back over your shoulder. “I am getting out of here! I am not staying even one second longer!”

“No... wait!”

The cold, iron door felt heavenly against your irritated skin. It felt like happiness and freedom, and you were so thankful for reaching it after everything you went through. By now, Nagito couldn’t see you anymore, but you heard him frantically tearing on the ropes. Luckily, they were solid and reliable, even after all the strain you had applied to them.

“Please! You can use me all you like, but don’t leave me!” Nagito screamed after you, and you could hear his voice cracking. He must have been crying, but you were the last one to feel pity for him. Instead, you pushed down the door handle, not wanting to spend one more second in this depressing room. You were so close, only one step away from it.

But the door didn’t open.

Rattling it, you kept pushing and pulling at it, growing more and more frustrated every time it didn’t move. You knew it could open. You had heard it work for Nagito more than once!

Nagito.

Glaring back, it was quiet in the room. He should have been bawling his eyes out by now, screamed, and begged. And yet, nothing echoed around you; only the small sounds of a chuckle reached your ears.

Furious, you stomped back to him, pushing aside everything that was in the way. “Where’s the key!” you screamed, repeating the question with every step. “Where’s the fucking key!”

When you reached him, all that remained on his face was something akin to a pitying smile, eyes that were no less condescending than yours were. “Oh, Darling,” he muttered. “There never was a key. We are in a bunker, underground, buried. The only way to get out of here now...”

Nagito paused, taking a deep breath, his smile only growing while you felt your heart drop and your last nerves popping. “Ah, beautiful,” he whispered, looking at you, knowing one thing for sure.

“How do I get out,” you asked him, trying to remain calm.

“It’s despairing, isn’t it?” Nagito replied undeterred, playing your very own game.

It was.

“You’re feeling absolute despair, now that you realize you are stuck here with me. And if I die, you won’t ever find out how to leave. Isn’t it truly beautiful? I am so lucky to be stuck with you now; even dying from your negligence won’t bother me, you know?”

“How. Do I. Get out,” you repeated your question, your voice shivering from anger.

“Ah, maybe I will remember,” he teased you. “But only if you give me the love you promised me. Pretty please? I know I am insatiable, but if you really want to know...”

Feeling your whole world crumble to ashes around you, you knew he would never tell you. If it even was true that you weren’t just in a storage depot or bunker- and you’d make sure by destroying this whole place in search of a key - you needed him to guide you to get out from the underground he described. Needed to do what he wanted you. Needed to love him.

And you wondered if right from the beginning, he had known what you planned to do and decided to play the puppet caught in your strings.

Little had you expected Nagito to be the puppeteer all along.

[You can find the prompt list here]

[ceciliablossoms]

I just read the whiskey angst and i cried a bit 😭 can i request Fruit Punch + Absinthe after that the reader feel stressed and go for a walk outside but are attacked by Abiss Mages and seriously injured and Diluc / Childe / Kaeya is surprised when the reader return with a pathetic form but the reader don't want them to touch them pls 😭😭😭 REVERSE UNO

I genuinely wasn't expecting people to like that one enough to request a sequel. I originally had no intention of making a sequel but with so many people asking how can I not?

Haha.. I couldn't sleep again...

The Whiskey fic

TW: Mentions of Injury, Swearing, Self Hatred

Absinthe: “Get out of my sight! I don’t fucking want you here!”

Fruit Punch: “Why are you bleeding!? What the hell happened?!”

-------

Diluc

It had been several days since he had last seen them and honestly speaking the man was a mess. What he said hadn't fully sunk in until he finished his work and upon realising that he had made a severe error, a pit formed in his stomach.

He was extremely disgusted with himself. Nobody should ever talk to their significant other in such a way under any circumstances. Not only that but he had also called them a hindrance when they had only been trying to help him. Pathetic.

He ended up seeking them out, arriving at their small house in Mondstadt. He had approached their door as they were exiting their home. They visibly bristled.

As the days passed they wallowed less, sadness and dejection becoming anger. How DARE he have the AUDACITY to talk to them like that? To treat them as though they were holding him back?

“Get out of my sight! I don't fucking want you here!”

He didn't even flinch out their outburst. He deserved it, "I have... come to apologise for my actions. I-"

"Didn't mean it? Save your words. I don't wish to hear it." They pushed past him. "I'm going for a walk. Don't follow me."

He watched as they exited the gates, steam practically pouring from their ears. As much as he wished to apologise, craved to say that he was sorry, he was sure that they wouldn't have it. But, he sat on the stairs to their house regardless and waited for their return. Whether they would accept it or not he was still going to try to make amends.

He didn't know how long he sat there waiting but they still had yet to return. The worry had long set in, hitting its peak when there was a small commotion at the gate. They pushed past Swan, who was following after them in a panic.

They walked with a limp, blood seeping through the hand that clenched their shoulder tightly. A cut adorned their face from temple to jaw. It too was bleeding heavily.

Diluc approached them with haste, alerted by their state, "Why are you bleeding?! What the hell happened!?"

They pushed past him too as he reached out to them, "Don't.... touch me..."

Diluc glared at Swan as a way to tell him to go back to his post. He jumped but obliged nonetheless as Diluc began to follow after them. Grabbing their non-injured shoulder in his gloved hand, he tugged them gently to stop them from moving.

His tone was stern, "You do not have to speak with me nor do you have to accept my apology. But you will get those injuries tended to even if I have to drag you to the church myself."

They pulled themselves from his grip, out of breath and tired, "Why is it that you care? I'm but a hindrance remember. Even as we speak I am obstructing you."

"If those were my feelings I wouldn't be here. I don't expect forgiveness but I would still like to let you know that what I said doesn't define how I feel for you. That is of little importance right now. Your injuries need to be dealt with"

They said nothing, looking off to the side. Sluggishly they move towards their home again, quietly ushering for him to follow. "I have plenty of medical supplies of my own." They paused, "When my injuries heal, I expect an apology in full. And as for my trust... You'll have to work for it."

He was relieved. Their words suggested that there was a still a chance for him.

-

Tartaglia

It took him a while to calm down. After all, he did tend to brood on things until they festered. At first, he only got angrier. Angry that the cheater got away with it. Angry that they sided with the cheater. Angry that they helped the cheater.

He thought about it more though, and the more he rationalised the more he calmed down. They didn't really side with him, did they? They only helped him because he would have bled out had they not. As much as he wanted to beat the man's ass all over again, he let it slide. Killing him would be a waste anyway. Instead he would let the man's near death experience serve as a reminder.

When he was fully calm, he sought them out, their words echoing in the back of his head. 'Talk to me when you're fucking sane', they had said. Had his actions truly made them feel that way? Or was it in anger just as his words had been?

He checked Bubu Pharmacy first, seeing neither them nor the cheater. He assumed it was because the cheater was in the back getting treatment and that they had gone on their merry way. The search continued.

His hunt continued all across the harbour and he was unable to tell if they were going out of their way to avoid him or if he was looking in all the wrong places. Finally, he resorted to asking around, getting a couple tidbits of information from some Milileth.

He was told that they were seen exiting the harbour and that seemed extremely miffed. So retracing their steps, he left the harbour as well, following along the path that led toward Guili Plains.

He continued to follow the path until Wangshu Inn appeared in the distance and quietly pondered why they came out this far. Something seemed off though. Halting his movements, he scanned the area, sapphire eyes landing on a familiar silhouette sitting at the base of an apple tree.

He was unaware of how long they'd been sitting there when he approached, but there they were an apple in hand. They finished mid chewing and spoke after they swallowed the fruit in their mouth.

"Get out of my sight. I don't fucking want you here." Despite their icy tone, he knew that they weren't angry anymore. They did, however, want to be left alone though he did not oblige.

His eyes travelled to the blood that coloured the grass beneath them. There was a teasing edge to his voice as he tried to lighten the mood, "Why are you bleeding? What happened, hm? Get in a fight without me?"

Finding each other bloody was nothing new to either of them and playing it up was a game of sorts. An inside joke if you will. Most of the time he acted like a worried spouse for them and vice versa, but at this moment it was genuine worry. They scoffed.

"Yes, but unlike you, I don't try to kill men on the street."

He held up his hands in defeat before sitting down across from them, "Not gonna let me live it down, are you?"

They rolled their eyes, leaning their head against the tree trunk, "It happened a few hours ago. But you get a free pass because I don't have the energy to debate right now."

He moved to check their injury and they slapped his hands away with a quiet 'Don't touch me'. Yet he continued to eye it warily, staring at their face as if to ask permission. His gaze was gentle, genuine worry spread across his face. They caved after several minutes, looking away.

Pulling their shirt up to reveal the injury on their hip, it appeared as though they tried to cauterize it. With a sigh, he stood and held his hand out to help then up. After a moment of hesitation, they accepted his hand and immediately after they stood he crouched in front of them and signalled for them to get on his back. They obliged and he carried them back to the city.

"Don't think that this means I forgive you for what you said to me."

For once he didn't feel like teasing, knowing that it wouldn't help mend the situation, "I know. I do wish to apologise though. My words were... unnecessary. I took my anger out on you."

"Damn right." They patted his head, "Though if you're a good boy I might forgive you faster."

He sighed, fully aware that they were going to use him as an errand boy for the next few days.

-

Kaeya

He continued after their encounter as though nothing had happened at all. The silence that filled his office after they left was deafening but he took the time to finish his work. All of the paperwork that had piled up and all the tedious remedial tasks had been finished, the rest of his duties taken care of as well.

Days passed before he finally decided to confront them, and over that period his the guilt over his cruelty toward them festered. He was fully aware that they were trying to help, trying to make his workload lighter, yet he still snapped at them.

If he hadn't taken out his frustration on them then the two would be together right now. If he had just let them help will all of it then we would have gotten done much faster and gotten to relax much sooner. The stack they did do, however, was the biggest one from the piles which did shorten the time he was working. If only he hadn't scared them away.

He began his search for them at their home, finding it empty. Thinking for a moment, he began to check the usual places they went when they were upset. As he headed to Windrise it turned out that he didn't have to look far, for they were limping over the bridge that led into the city.

They were bleeding heavily from their chest, hand clutching the wound with unspoken panic. He rushed toward them, reaching out to support their body weight.

His voice was demanding, "Why are you bleeding?! What the hell happened?"

"It was just an Abyss Mage. Get out of my sight! I don't fucking want you here."

He knew he deserved their scalding words but that didn't stop him from trying. He held his tongue to stop a smart ass comment. Usually, he wouldn't hold back but he knew this wasn't the time.

"You may not want me here, but if you don't get some help you'll bleed out before you can make it to the cathedral." He spoke calmly despite his internal conflict, and they knew that he had a point.

Begrudgingly they leaned against him as he escorted them through town. Moving hurt as it aggravated their injury but it was necessary. As soon as they got inside the cathedral he called for Barbara who appeared around the corner. Her face contorted in horror as she escorted them to the infirmary.

Kaeya sat amongst the pews and waited, having an internal debate with himself. Would they forgive him? Would they even hear him out?

Hours passed before Barbara remerged with news of their condition. He could see them but they could not leave for a while. With caution, he entered, knocking on the door frame to get their attention.

They turned their head in his direction but scowled when they realised that it was him. "Do you need something?"

He hummed, "No but you do." Sitting on the edge of the bed, he took their hands in his, "I wanted to apologise. Both for what I said to you and for taking your kindness for granted."

They stared him down but say nothing but sincerity in his eyes, "I'm listening."

He was slightly caught off guard by their response, nevertheless though it made him happy. They fact that they were willing to listen showed that there was a possibility for forgiveness.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw for parental abuse, passive aggression,

so i'm having trouble determining if i'm a horrible person or if my dad is a little bit crappy. my mom is straight up abusive, so it's almost easier with her? btw i'm 17.

my dad was always the chill one, the one who stuck up for me, although he never fully stopped the abuse. i really cling to my relationship with my dad, bc he's like the parent I did get, you know?

he can get super passive aggressive tho. like just now, he was playing a video game and i was working in the same room. the volume on the tv was up pretty loud, and i was trying to focus, so i asked him if he could turn it down a tiny bit (that really would have been enough!) and instead he turned it off. he was smiling and stuff, saying he had to go anyway, and now he's off doing other stuff throughout the house.

he also makes music. recently he got a new keyboard, and he plays it off and on all day when he's not at work. it's frustrating bc he won't wear headphones, and almost never turns the volume down. we have a one story + basement house, and you can hear his singing and playing throughout the whole house.

and when he finishes a lot of times he'll be like, "sorry, i hope i wasn't bothering you" even though me and my sibling have mentioned quite a few times that you can hear it anywhere in the house. he still asks every single time.

and the video game thing where he completely stops doing something that you just asked him to do quietly or less obtrusively or something happens a lot. even my mom gets frustrated when he plays music while she's starting to go to sleep, bc he should know that she can hear it when she's not fully out yet.

i love the things my dad does, his hobbies and his gift giving and stuff, and i honestly hate to hurt his feelings, but i feel like if i have a single thing to ask of him he goes overboard and it makes me feel like a shitty person. am i?

Hi anon,

Regarding your dad being passive aggressive when for example turning the TV off when you just ask him to turn it down, it's possible that he doesn't intend to be passive aggressive with these actions. Perhaps he believes he's being courteous? Some people are very all or nothing when it comes to things, and asking him to be quieter may just not be something he can manage, so maybe he turns it off instead out of respect for you. But again he could also be giving off signs of being passive aggressive as well.

As someone whose dad is a musician, I'm having a hard time understanding the issue with him playing the keyboard. While I think it's fair to ask him to use headphones while playing, I'm wondering if there's any particular reason why the sound of him making music is bothersome. I would understand if maybe you have to study or you just like quiet, but it's not necessarily realistic to have silence in a house multiple people are living in. While I don't think you should feel kicked out of your home, if you have a local library or another quiet space you could go to, perhaps even outside depending on where you live, those could be good alternatives. You could even potentially invest in some headphones or earplugs for noise cancellation.

I think it's possible you may be experiencing symptoms of misophonia. Misophonia basically is the opposite of ASMR, where certain sounds like chewing, typing, clicking, sniffling, etc. cause an extreme adverse reaction, whether it be rage, disgust, discomfort, or something else.

Ultimately, if you trust you dad to have a genuine conversation with you, I think you should sit down with him and talk about what you notice (passive aggressive behavior, noise at inconvenient times of day) and what you would like different, and see if you can find some middle ground or compromise. But also considering that "he goes overboard" if you "have a single thing to ask of him" I'm not sure if that would work. The dynamic that you cannot ask anything of him without him overreacting (if I'm understanding what you mean correctly) does sound manipulative.

I don't think you're a shitty person and I don't think it should hurt his feelings to politely discuss things he does that bother you. Even if it would hurt his feelings, I don't think you should necessarily protect his feelings. Sometimes part of bringing something important up is hurt feelings, but that shouldn't dissuade you from bringing it up.

Hope I could help. We're here for you.

-Bun

[kuroos-moon]

Mistaken Kisses pt. 2 

☾ pairings: atsumu x reader, sakusa x reader, kenma x reader

☾ part one | oikawa, tsukishima, sugawara, kuroo

☾ scenario: they see you kissing someone else (not intentionally though)

☾ warning/s: v tiny bit of angst for atsumu’s

Miya Atsumu 

Growing up as a twin, he’s used to people mistaking him for Osamu and the other way around. Now that they have different hair colors though, those occasions came down to rare if not none. 

You’re innocent, you swear. Briefly calling out his name as you enter their gym, his back to you with his hood on— and you grab him slightly by his arm, shifting him a quarter so that you could stand on your toes and plant your lips on his. 

He smells a bit different, tasted quite different too, but who cares? This was your boyfriend— or so you thought. Pulling away as his hood falls off his head, your eyes widen and your heart skips a beat. Is that gray hair? Is he seriously not blonde? 

Realization hits you the same time you hear him. “Ya treacherous pathetic excuse of a brother!” You blink once and they’re already on the ground after Atsumu lunged at Osamu, fists, kicks and swearing thrown here and there. 

“Stop it!” You hiss, about to grab Atsumu but Aran stops you, afraid you’ll accidentally get hit in the process. 

“Y/n is the only thing I can’t and will not share but ya sneak in a kiss on her when I’m not around!” Another fist lands on Samu’s cheek, and that had to hurt. Atsumu was genuinely enraged. This wasn’t their usual brawl. 

“Ya have eyes, Sumu,” Osamu knees his back before turning to his side, throwing Atsumu to the ground. “Y/n kissed me!”  

“It’s true Tsum, I was the one who kissed him.” That halts their actions in an instant, tension suddenly thick in the air as he remains lain down on the floor, recovering his breaths as he struggles to process what you had just said. 

“It was an accident, I thought he was you,” you say in a small voice, dreading what was going to happen next at the way he scoffs at your words. “Get off me,” he shoves his brother off him, standing up and brushing off his clothes. 

He coldly looks at you and you squirm inside. Profoundly intimidated by his stare, you look away, eyes landing on whoever or whatever else that wasn’t your boyfriend who looked so spiteful and disgusted. “One of me ain’t enough, is that it?” He bitterly says, glaring at you. 

You immediately look back at him, surprised at his words. “I told you it was an accident, Tsumu, I’m sorry.” 

“Well, ya kissed for quite a while, was there no tellin they weren’t my lips?”

“He was wearing your hoodie,” you try to say, but he looks away, disinterested.

“Atsumu,” you sigh as you step closer to him but he turns on his heel, walking away from you.

“Don’t want ya nymore, have fun with my brother,” he clicks his tongue, unable to erase the image from a while ago. It was painful—both what he saw and what he said to you after. He knows it wasn’t your fault, but that didn’t really do much to change how he felt. 

It was his typical defense mechanism, masking his hurt by hurting you back and putting up a show of indifference. His sharp tongue, the hostile words he had said to you were filling him with self-resentment the second he let them go— never does he want to hurt you but he did so anyway; simply because he got hurt first.

“He’ll come around,” Osamu places a hand on your back reassuringly, “though I doubt he’ll make the first move to fix things.” 

Sakusa Kiyoomi

Oh, what a lovely day to be standing outside the restroom, waiting for your boyfriend to finish washing his hands; especially when out of nowhere, you’re yanked and kissed. Oh, for your boyfriend to have such lovely timing of walking out the restroom the moment the stranger’s lips touch yours. 

You push the guy off immediately, eyes meeting Sakusa’s in a panic, fearing he might misinterpret. However, your worries should come to an ease, he saw the whole thing and he trusts you completely anyway. But his eyes aren’t on you, they’re sharp and glaring at the guy who had kissed you. All he sees is dirt. Pure filthy garbage, worthless and far too shameless—having the audacity to taint you. 

Clasping your hand in his, he securely pulls you to his side. “You okay?” He asks, looking at you and you nod. He’s possessive and territorial, that’s a surprise to none. What he had just done equated to a life-ending treason, but he’s never really one for violence. 

“Call the cops.” 

“Wait, no, dude, I’m sorry it was an accident. I thought she was my girlfriend.” He frantically says, bowing repeatedly before the two of you. “I’m really sorry,” he says again, looking at you, making Sakusa glare at him as a warning to not even breathe the same air as you. 

A girl walks up to him, clinging to his arm as she asks him what was going on and now, he has fallen at your mercy; his girlfriend didn’t look anything like you at all—hair and height especially. You’re not even mad, you’re much too preoccupied worrying about what Sakusa might do next. 

“Do you have any colds?” He asks the guy, who like you, was shocked at his sudden question. 

“What?” 

“Are you blind and deaf too?” Oomi narrows his eyes, making him gulp. “Uh, no, I’m perfectly well.”

“Any infectious disease? Tell me even if its minor.” 

“None.” 

“Y/n I thought I told you to call the cops,” Sakusa timidly looks at you and you flinch, a nervous chuckle escaping your throat. “Do we really have to?” 

“His excuse was pathetic, he’s clearly some pervert, a cheating one at that.” 

“Please, I won’t do it ag-

“If not the cops, would you rather I destroy you right now? I’m not one to be forgiving when it comes to my lover.” That wasn’t even directed at you but you feel your body shiver, he was scary and domineering; his narrowed eyes and heartless expression screamed that no one should take his threats lightly. 

Other than the intensity of his words though, you felt your heart melt at the way he called you his lover. You’re practically looking at him with heart eyes, touched by his sentiment, butterflies going wild in your stomach as you admired him. 

It took a lot of your nagging and attempts at pulling him away for the both of you to actually be alone in his car—now on your merry way home. Contrary to the butterflies earlier on, you’re now silent in your seat, stealing glances at him warily. 

If you’re mad, say something, you try to tell him with your eyes but they remain set on the road.

“Yoomi?” 

“What?” 

“I’m sorr-

“Save the apologies for when you’ve done something wrong.” He coldly cuts you off and you close your mouth immediately. 

After a few seconds, you try again, “are you mad?” 

He finally looks at you, and though it was subtle, you did notice how he glanced down at your lips a second too long. “I’m not.” 

“You could at least try to be convincing; your face says it all,” you pout, “you’re mad and disgusted.”

“I’m neither of the two.” 

“Prove it.” 

He looks at you incredulously, like ‘tf am I supposed to do??’

Sighing, he slightly nods, “fine.” 

“I’ll kiss you until you drop after you brush your teeth.” 

Kozume Kenma     

Kenma is multiple cats in one easily-exhausted human body. He could be a soft domestic cat, allowing you to love the hell out of him while you cuddle—or he could also be one with sharp claws if he’s aggravated, not really one with specialized attacks but still terrifying. 

Right now though, he’s debating whether he should be a dejected cat who’s ready to leave its owner (which is you) or a level-headed laid-back one. The latter was easier said than done, how could he remain calm when you’re being kissed by someone else? It’s a heavy pang on his chest and an excessive blow on his insecurities—but oh, wait, you pushed him off. 

“What the hell?!” You shout at the guy. It all clicks, of course you’ll never do that to him. Okay, he starts seeing red and no it’s not his Nekoma jacket. He could almost imagine his legs sprinting disgracefully towards the guy and attacking him in any form. Biting, punching, scratching, he doesn’t care, he’s going to unleash the sharp-clawed cat within him—the same one that quarreled with Yamamoto. 

But before he could, you’ve marched away, and he catches a glimpse of your teary eyes. He follows you shortly, glaring daggers at the guy who was totally creeped out. Kenma could be terrifying. 

He’s mad and frustrated, but that could wait. You are far more important than his anger and he’ll always put you first. He patiently waits outside the girls’ restroom, sending you a quick text to let you know he was waiting to walk you home like he always did. 

As you head out of school, you remain silent beside him. Your irritation was gone but he could easily tell you were worried about him and about how he felt. “Y/n?” He meekly says. You look at him. This time, you note, he wasn’t on his phone which he would normally be using right now. 

“Wanna hang out in my room?” He offers you a rare soft smile, and you smile back at him. 

You both laze off on his bed, his head on your stomach and your fingers running through his hair while he plays with his switch. He looks unbothered, but you’re just struggling to find the right words and time to talk to him about what he saw earlier. 

He may have looked unaware of your silent distress, but he was just waiting for you to be comfortable enough to talk to him about it. He’s ready to assure you it was fine though he was actually really embittered—of course he would be after seeing someone else kiss his beloved kitten. 

“Ken… about earlier in the classroom, aren’t you mad?” You softly glide your fingers across his cheek. 

“I don’t care much for it, y/n,” he sincerely says. “See, you’re lying,” you pinch his cheek causing him to look away from his game. 

“I’m only concerned about you, you must’ve been mad,” he says, tossing his console to the side and turning to face you, his cheek pressed to your stomach. “I’m fine, Ken, I was only worried you’d be mad.” 

“Then rest easy now that you know I’m not,” he smiles before taking your hand to cover his face. You look at him in surprise as he groans, and you didn’t have to take your hand away to know that his face right now was rather expressive. 

“I’m still super ticked about it though,” he huffs and you chuckle at how adorable he was as he alternately kicks his feet up and down his mattress in a mock tantrum.

General Taglist [Open]: @noyasbitchh @dinablossom @haru-the-secret @strayczennies @lalisbitch @tinymidgetsstuff @animebs @astrealia @kittykitkatstrawberry @hajimesbbygrl @kellesvt @24hr7dysdizzy @arnxldss @elianetsantana @vicassa @floraraine @beanst0ck @leinnah @kageyamasgirl @deafeningart @minibobabottle   @franko-pop @moonlightaangel @throughtheinterstices @micasaessakusa @dixonsbugaboo

[bittermuire]

A (long) analysis of Azriel,

+ a bit of discussion about Gwynriel vs. Elriel at the end.

Lately I’ve seen much discussion surrounding Azriel, and there seems to be a lot of hazy gray area. We know he has a terrible past, carries a lot of trauma, is both mentally and physically scarred, and has disturbingly possessive habits. But why? That’s the question.

I think most of Azriel’s character can be filtered into three sections: his anger, his possessiveness, and his self-loathing. Altogether I believe these form his crippling sense of emotional immaturity, which ultimately shines through most every action he makes in the books.

So yes, I firmly believe Az is a child in the body of a 500 year old Fae. But is he treated as such? No. No, he is not. In fact, he’s treated as the exact opposite, and that can’t be doing wonders for his mental health (which is already in shambles. Off to a cheery start.)

Let’s take a look at his past. He was both mentally and physically abused for the majority of his childhood. Then he was thrown into an unforgiving culture that both mentally and physically abused him as well. Then he was essentially bullied by Cassian and Rhysand for quite a while... until they randomly decided to like him, which is a choice he didn’t seem to play a hand in. And then he became a professional torturer. All the while falling madly in love and becoming obsessed with a female who can’t love him back. Not to mention he’s been ostracized his entire life.

(One big thing though, that I’m going to reference frequently, is Azriel’s constant chase of “happiness.” Kind of like my friends with ADHD. We squeeze all the serotonin we can get out of one thing and then fall into a listless, depressed haze until we find another. I honestly think Azriel does the same thing with people--he latches onto them and lets his mood swings rely on how much attention they do or do not pay him, and whether it is positive or negative.)

So I’m going to go through his relationships with pivotal characters and try to explain what I think is really going on with Azriel.

Regarding Mor:

He was obsessed with her for most of his life. He was incredibly possessive of her and fell instantly in love upon seeing her. Do I think it was love? No. But does Azriel think it was love? Yes, and that is so important. It shows how desperate he was for human connection.

This “love” spiraled into centuries-long obsession that we’ve all seen play out throughout the series. But why is it obsession, and not love? Well, I’m going to go ahead and say that Azriel doesn’t know how to love. He’s never been shown genuine love and so he doesn’t know how to show it to others in the way he intends. He’s basically a baby.

But right after he falls head over heels, Mor sleeps with Cassian, and then Cassian plays the role of the buffer between the two of them all the way up until the events of ACOSF. This is where I think Azriel’s anger comes into play. He can’t get to Mor. His best friend, his brother, is blocking him from her. He can’t touch her, love her, feel her, and he’s so desperate to. But he literally has no way to communicate it because he doesn’t know how, and so he responds in the one way he’s able: anger. And jealousy. And intense protectiveness that eventually begins to translate as possessiveness.

Again, he lets his happiness rely on Mor because he can’t make himself happy, and so his lack of emotional maturity ends up revealing him as desperate and unable to communicate his feelings of inadequacy and frustration. I’m not trying to justify his behavior, not at all. But I think this could be a decent explanation.

Regarding Cassian and Rhysand:

I mean... I kind of hate the way these two have treated Azriel. They all have their fair share of trauma, but Cassian and Rhys also bullied him and ostracized him, and then basically said, “Oh, we like you now.” Which completely leaves Azriel in the dark as to where he stands with them, and strips him of awareness regarding how his friendships with them will operate.

And then he becomes the head of espionage for the Night Court, which involves lots and lots of torture. What kind of message does that send? You’ve seen dirty things, Az, so you don’t mind doing the rest of the dirty things for us, right? That’s the only real message I can get from this. Which then plants the message in Azriel’s head of: Not only do I do dirty things, I myself am a dirty, disgusting thing. Thus, furthering his already deep-seated sense of self-loathing.

Plus, the IC generally operates with a pack-like mindset. One person’s method of healing is everyone’s method of healing. It worked for one person, so it worked for everyone. It’s a very naive mindset, and very toxic as well, so it’s not surprising that literally everyone in the IC is colossally messed up despite preaching themselves as having overcome their demons.

So Azriel never really gets to understand himself and mature as a person. He’s stuck pretending to be perfectly fine underneath Rhysand’s oh-so-benevolent and compassionate hand. Rhysand and Cassian recognize Az as being a little... odd, by seeming to think things like “he’s the quiet one” and “he’s the serious, scary one.” But do they attempt to understand him? No. They leave him to his own devices and let him figure it out himself.

That’s the issue. He’s not ever going to figure it out himself, so long as he’s surrounded by the people who’ve been unwittingly suffocating him for most of his life.

Regarding Elain:

Azriel’s infatuation with Elain, in my opinion, comes as a direct result of his detachment from Mor. Just like one hyperfixation fades quickly from an all-consuming thing to a passing thought, Azriel has shifted from one obsession to the next, in order to keep his spirits on a high.

But I think his feelings for Elain reveal a lot of what Mor did not. Why does he view Elain as so holy compared to him? Why is he so hesitant to touch her? Why does he put her on such a pedestal? That’s his self-loathing coming through again. He hates himself so much that he has to place her above him.

He wants to touch her and love her, just as he did with Mor, but again he is unable. It's a repeating pattern that he can’t get himself out of.

Let’s also look at the way Elain and Azriel’s friendship/relationship began. He had to take care of her, and treat her with utmost respect. She looked at his scars or his siphons, both monstrous looking things, and called them beautiful. Let’s remember that he’s basically a child who’s rarely known genuine love. The minute he gets a glimpse of it, he’s going to grab it by the neck and crush it to his chest. Plus, the fact that she’s the last sister left unattached and he’s the last brother left unattached is probably even more convincing for him that he and Elain are meant for each other. When he’s denied this love that’s come nearly close enough to grab, he responds in the only way he’s able: anger. And jealousy. Just like he did with Mor.

But moving on, that glimpse of potential love comes from Elain. That’s why he’s able to let go of Mor; a relationship with Elain suddenly becomes possible. He’s terrified of ruining this potential love and is incredibly drawn to her all the same. Best of all? She wants him too.

BUT. Azriel knows how fragile Elain is, so he walks on glass around her, coddling her, putting her first like he’s put everyone else first since being a part of the IC. I think he wants to save her from becoming like him. He essentially plays the role of her white knight, entirely losing his sense of self-preservation (not that he ever had one), and thus loses any chance of letting Elain help him mature in return.

Regarding Gwyn:

Now, Gwyn is a different story.

We know Azriel likes her. Maybe not in a consciously romantic way, but he likes her. She makes him smile and laugh, and he finds her amusing. He doesn’t have to walk on eggshells around her.

The big thing, I think, is that he doesn’t have to take care of her. At least, I think that’s what makes him so comfortable around her. With Gwyn, he can relax, and he doesn’t have to watch every move he makes. She treats him like a regular person and he treats her similarly.

Now, is it a bad thing that he doesn’t put her on a saint-like pedestal like he does Elain? No. Definitely not. I think this ordinary friendship signals a much healthier relationship than his festering obsession with Elain. Gwyn simply being his friend and not someone that he feels he has to be perfect for is a good foundation for Azriel growing as a person.

Gwynriel vs. Elriel (the necklace):

Honestly, I’m scared for whatever SJM decides to do, because Azriel has a shitload of trauma to move past and years worth of emotional growth needed before he can be a steady partner in a relationship. Both Gwyn and Elain’s character arcs are definitely not finished and so I think that no matter which way his narrative goes, it’s going to be disappointing in some aspect or another, unfortunately. I don’t think that either one of the females’ arcs really fit well with Azriel’s.

But I’m going to take a closer look at the necklace, because I think it’s a telling narrative point.

For Azriel, the necklace for Elain and Gwyn herself, are both “thing[s] of secret, lovely beauty” to him.

By describing the necklace for Elain as such (instead of Elain herself), Azriel unconsciously reveals his more idealistic view of Elain rather than his love for Elain herself. I kind of get the sense of Azriel giving offerings to a goddess, or something like that. He seems to be more preoccupied with appeasing Elain than actually loving her.

Now, this probably comes from, again, his self-loathing and his emotional immaturity. I’m just repeating myself at this point. He doesn’t know how to love himself and he doesn’t know how to love anyone else.

But then he describes Gwyn as such. Gwyn, the person. In my opinion, this demonstrates a potentially much healthier relationship than what he has with Elain. Azriel, instead of wanting to be perfect for Gwyn and wanting to appease her, is simply made happy by the thought of her. It is Gwyn whom he is taken with, not the idea of Gwyn loving him. And so that takes off so much pressure for him, and introduces the hope that he might be able to mature as a person in a friendship or romantic relationship with Gwyn.

Closing thoughts:

Azriel is a blundering, hormonal child desperate for love with no idea of how to get it, in a 500 year old Fae’s body. He’s also surrounded by people who refuse to address his clear issues... his future’s pretty dim, and I think he realizes it. Which is why whoever SJM chooses to be his romantic interest is going to be very important.

In short, I’m scared for what’s to come. But fingers crossed that his incredibly complex character is done justice.

[elena-reina]

A Soul - Draco Malfoy x Reader

Request: Can you make one where Draco and a female reader were hooking up in secret? Draco falls in love just to find out she has a muggle parents but is magical herself? Basically a mudblood but more emphasis on muggle - chaoticdeanzonkland

Warnings: some fluff, angst

Y/H: Your house- ie. Slytherin, Hufflepuff, etc. 

Y/H/C: Your house color

Part 2

A fire crackled in the Slytherin commonroom projecting long shadows on the surrounding area. The light casted by the flames danced across the dark shadows of the room in obscure shapes and provided a small radius of light. The warmth of the fire fillled the room with its warm embrace. The flames were mesmerizing to watch, colors of orange and red gave way to yellow and white near the centre, where the emanating heat was the greatest. 

You exhaled a quiet sigh snuggling closer to Draco. The sun had already tured itself over to the moon permitting it to be evening. Everyone else had been long gone in their rooms sleeping, or so you thought. You didn’t know what hour it was, but it must’ve been late because you could feel Draco becoming more sluggish as the minutes passed by, not that you minded. This was one of the very few times were the two of you could enjoy some peace and company together. 

The truth of the matter is that the two of you had been meeting in secret for the longest. It started off as a light friendship of the two of you teasing each other and then grew into a blossoming affection for one another. With Draco’s hard exterior and a few secrets of your own, you both thought it was best to keep your relationship a secret.

Your thoughts were interupted by soft snores coming from the boy you loved above you. Gazing up at him, you smiled warmly. You raised your arm and cupped his cheek, gently rubbing it with your thumb.

“Draco,” you whispered softly. He stirred a bit and tiredly opened his grey eyes. They were slightly red from how exhausted he was from throughout the day.

“I’m sorry love, I didn’t mean to doze off there,” he mumbled still trying to wake himself up.

You shook your head and sat up, now longer leaning on him. He was tired and it would not be fair of you to keep him up. “Go to bed, it’s alright-”

“No,” he cut you off, “This is one of the handful of times we get to be with each other unbothered.”

You smiled as he leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to your lips. Pulling away, you gazed back into his eyes.

“We will still see each other more, but it’ll be better when we are both well rested, don’t you agree?” you grinned. 

A yawn escaped his mouth in response, scratching the back of his head.

“Good answer,” you laughed and stood up, holding out a hand for him to grab onto. He begrudgingly grabbed it and hoisted himself up. Towering over you, he cupped your cheeks placing, first, a kiss on your forehead, then your nose, and lastly your lips.

“I think..,” he began, “No, I know I’m falling head over heels in love with you.”

A blushed rose to your cheeks. You couldn’t contain your excitement as you smiled from ear to ear. He’s never said this before.

Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin Prince, just said he was in love with you.

“You really mean it?”

Grabbing your hand and placing it on his chest, right above his heart, he spoke. “With all my heart.”

Throwing your arms around his neck, you crashed your lips to his once more, savoring each kiss. You couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Never in a million years did you think you’d ever get to talk to Draco Malfoy, let alone get a confession.

Pulling away, you couldn’t stop smiling. “I will see you tomorrow.”

“Till tomorrow,” he mumbled quietly, but lovingly. Letting go, you walked to your Y/H bedroom.

The next morning, the first ray of sun beamed through the Y/H/C curtains, turning the stillness of the night into a peaceful morning. A fleck of sunlight glittered on the window pane, reflecting the light into the room. You sat up letting a yawn escape your lips. Remembering the events of last night, you held your rosy cheeks, you still couldn’t help but blush. Stepping out onto the hardwood floor, you shuddered at the cold as a light breeze greeted you for a good day ahead.

You got dressed in your usual robes and exited to the Grand Hall for breakfast. Everybody’s eyes were on you, but you were oblivous to it. Sitting at the Y/H table, you were greeted by your friends.

“G’mornin’ Y/N,” Sylvia chirped.

“Morning!” Adrian said.

“Good morning you guys,” you smiled warmly. 

The moment you slid into your seat, Sylvia and Adrian began filling your plate with food: Eggs, ham, piles of fried potatoes, fruit, and an elegant glass of orange juice.

“What’s with all this?” you laughed. They never served you before, naturally making you suspicious of their actions.

“When were you going to tell us the news?” Adrian grinned.

Your heart dropped and your voice grew quiet. “..What news?” You began to stuff your mouth with some of the food, to inevitably buy yourself more time for what’s to come.

“Not going to lie, I am a little hurt that you hadn’t told us before,” Sylvia piped in.

“About..?”

“Aboooouuut you and Malfoy! Duh!” she exclaimed.

Oh no. No, no, no, no, no!

No one was supposed to know about your relationship, at least not yet. Draco hasn’t even learned that you are not a pure-blood, or so you think. His reputation meant everything to him and you just wanted to be able to have one thing to yourself that you wouldn’t have to feel ashamed of. A look a worry washed over your face, your friends took note of this.

“Hey, Y/N,” Slyvia began, “Are you alright?”

Snapping out of your thoughts, you regained consiousness in your conversation. “How did you guys find out? Who did you hear it from?”

They looked at each other and shrugged.

“I don’t really know, we over heard some third-years talking about the two of you oddly, but we don’t know who they heard it from,” Adrian mumbled, “Although, I must say I am surprised that he does not mind dating a person of your background.”

Your furrowed your eyebrows, somewhat offended.

“Excuse you.”

“He didn’t mean it like that. I believe what he’s trying to say is that Malfoy doesn’t really date, and if he does we would assume it would be with someone that’s pureblooded, again no offense to your background because we love you,” Sylvia cleared up. 

You rolled your eyes and looked over to where Draco would usually sit for breakfast, however he wasn’t there. Instead a random Slytherin was there, making kissy faces to mock you. Scrunching your nose in disgust, you turned back to your plate and continued to eat.

Throughout the whole day, you’ve been waiting to bump into Draco. But to no avail, somehow he managed to be missing all day. 

As a matter of fact, you hadn’t seen him for the past coming weeks going on since people had found out the two of you were “official,” if you could even call it that. And on top of it all, you still had no idea how anyone found out in the first place. You spent sleepless nights just waiting for the day you could talk to him, let alone just be able to see him wandering around somewhere.

All the spots you would usually meet up with Draco, he was never there. It was like he had disappeard from existence and left the school. You would go early to the Dining Hall somedays to try and see him, but he never showed up.

After weeks of having no luck to find him, luckily, there was a Quidditch game between Slytherin and Ravenclaw that was going to end soon. You never really went to any of the games, but this time you did in hopes of finding Draco because you knew he would be there for his team. 

Fortunately, you arrived in just enough time before the game was about to end and Slytherin had ultimately won. Soaring around on his broom stick, you saw that familiar head of platinum hair. A feint smile rose to your cheeks as you walked down the stairs and waited at the end of the field that the players have to walk through to go to their locker rooms. You stood off to the side, out of the way of everyone as both the Slytherin and Ravenclaw players were walking back. Slytherin was cheering as they won this one and Draco had a genuine smile on his face. 

He walked past you, not noticing you were there, until you spoke up.

“Draco!” you called. He then heard you and clenched his jaw, but kept walking picking up his speed.

“Draco, wait up!” you yelled after him while clumsily bumping into some of the Quidditch players while doing so. 

“Hi, passing through-.. sorry... excuse me..- I’ve just- Hey!” you repeated over and over trying to get through them and reach him. Getting just close enough, you grabbed onto his robe, the only thing within reach, and held him back.

“Draco,” you breathed softly as you finally reached him.

He snapped turning around, glaring down at you. “It’s Malfoy to you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, taken back by his sudden reaction and demeanor. You stiffened up not knowing what to say. You hadn’t seen him in weeks, you didn’t know what you were expecting but it certainly wasn’t this.

“I.. what’s going on with you,” you frowned, attempting to put your arm on his shoulder but he dodged it immediately.

“What, Y/N. What do you want.” he said frustrated, looking back at the hall behind him at the doors to the locker room.

“I want to know what’s going on with you! I haven’t seen you for weeks, with no letter, no call, no explanation-”

He scoffed cutting you out of your thoughts, looking off to the side.

“What?”

You managed to keep your composure, but you wanted to break down from frustation.

“You’re in no position to be asking me for an explanation of any kind. You’re the one who owes me one,” he snapped, keeping his cold and hard stare on you.

You remained calm, not wanting to match his energy. You shifted on your feet and crossed your arms over your chest. If it’s stern he wants, then it’s stern he gets.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you stated truthfully.

“When were you planning on telling me?”

You groaned. “Telling you what, Draco-”

“MALFOY.” he snapped immediately.

“Malfoy.”

“That you lied to me. You’re no pureblood,” he spat, his face looking in disgust.

Is that what this is about? There has to be something else underlying it, because not even he treats the golden trio this way. Where was the caring Draco a few weeks ago who was just professing his love.

You held up your hand to stop him from going any further. 

“Dra- Malfoy, I never lied to you. I never told you I was a pureblood, you just assumed!”

“You never told me you weren’t! Just to think I told someone like you that I loved you,” he sneered, “And to make matters worst, you go around parading it to everyone the very next morning.”

Your heart sank in your chest. Draco was hurting very much on the inside, but he was blinded by his own insecurities and cold exterior. Something he was very much famous for, not giving a care in the world to anyone but himself. You made sure not to show it but his words hurt you deeply. Before you could let any more of his words hurt you, you stood up straight gazing into his grey eyes.

“I never told a soul,” you whispered, spun on your heel, and walked away.

[whitexwingedxdoves]

Ghosts

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Pronouns: She/Her Time Frame: Pre Apocalypse (Aprox. A month prior) Warnings: Drug abuse, death, swearing. Summary: You escort your sister to her new dealers house when things take a turn for the worst. A/N:I drew inspiration from this listening to Deftones, haha. Enjoy I guess.

As you stood there, cradling yourself outside of a trailer you watched your sister as she nervously bounced in one spot awaiting the door to swing open. Your eye’s burning a hole in her, completely disgusted in her actions. She felt them burn but she didn’t say a word. Just then the door opened and from it appeared a tall bald man, who from the way he couldn’t hold himself in one spot seemed completely out of it.

“Rose!” he slurred, greeting your sister before his eyes met yours. “Oh fresh meat!” the way he looked at you sent shivers down your spine and bile climbed your throat.

“Yeah, this is my sister, Y/N '' Rose quickly answered, pushing past him and into the trailer. Just as you were about to follow her, the man's arm slammed onto the door frame in front of you stopping your entrance. A sudden rush of nerves took over your body as you tensed up clenching your jaw, your reaction only making the man snigger.

“Merle’s the name” he whispered in your ear. Your eyes met him with only hatred, his hand slowly coming away from the door frame and allowing you inside. As you reached the inside, you noted how unclean the whole trailer was, can’s and cigarette butt’s covered the floor and the smell, well you did your best to ignore it as you made your way to your sister's side. Rose was sitting on the sofa built into the motorhome, you couldn’t bear the thought of touching anything in there so you chose to stand, leaning ever so lightly on the wall. You watched Merle pass you as he threw himself next to your sister on the sofa and started to rummage through a wooden box on the small coffee table in front of them.  Your eyes snapped to the other end of the trailer as a door opened, you watched as man stood there looping his belt back up seemingly he was leaving the bathroom, a cigarette hanging from his lips only halfway smoked, when he looked up at you he seemed a little startled but he continued to walk towards you, it wasn’t lost on you how handsome he looked. Slumping himself down on a camper chair opposite Merle and Rose he took the smoke from his lips and let a thick cloud of while smoke fill the room.

 “Daryl, this is Rose and…” Merle looked your way playing with a small zip lock bag filled with a brown substance and started snapping his fingers at you with his free hand.

“Y/N” you snapped at him, he responded with a laugh and repeated to you before turning his attention back to the bag as he poured some of the powder on a spoon. “This is my baby brother, Daryl” he slurred, his eyes not leaving the spoon as he held a lighter up to it.

Your eyes trailed to your sister as she picked up a belt from the table in front of her and wrapped it tightly around her arm. The way her eyes looked hungry made you feel sick to your stomach, your eyes darted away attempting to hold back any tears, chewing on the inside of your mouth.

“Hey” Daryl said, looking up at you. He sensed how uncomfortable you were, his eyes wandering from you to your sister and back again. You responded to him with half a smile, though it wasn’t genuine. Your eyes wandered back to your sister as Merle now held a needle to her arm, you couldn’t hide your disgust as he injected her with the poison and even with your best efforts you couldn’t help but let a tear roll down your cheek. You had grown up around this your whole life, you watched your mother fall into the same trap. It was everywhere in your life, past boyfriends, friends and now your sister. Your thoughts became distracted as Merle got your attention.

“You want some?” he teased, holding out the needle to you. You just rolled your eyes, biting down on your bottom lip and let out a frustrated sigh. You watched as he laid your sister on her side, her legs propped up on his thighs. You’d never felt this angry in your life. Your stomach twisting and turning as you watched your sister there helplessly.

 A couple of minutes had passed and your eyes didn’t leave your sister, that was until you felt a tap on your shoulder. “Ya look like ya could use some fresh air” it was Daryl, his tone was sweet, almost caring, you looked back down at your sister, your leg bouncing the same way hers did when she craved her next hit. You just nodded and pushed yourself away from the wall and followed the younger brother out the door. The both of you sat, squeezed tightly on the steps to the trailer. You let your lungs breathe in the outside air as you relaxed a little. Your tongue pulling your bottom lip between your teeth, you let an annoyed laugh seep out shaking your head. Daryl nudged you gently with his knee holding out a pack of cigarettes and you took one without a word. Playing with the tip of the cig before the man held out a lighter for you. Gently holding it in your lips you leaned into the flame and allowed your lungs to fill with smoke. Now with the cigarette placed carefully between your fingers, you chewed on your thumb, a nervous tick if you will. The smoke from the cig dried your eye out a little as you stared into nothingness.

“Why’d ya come?” Daryl broke the silence though you couldn’t think of the answer anymore, you’d been asking yourself the same question since you pulled up to the motorhome. You shrugged at the question, you felt his eyes all over you. Taking another puff of smoke you leaned back slightly and turned to the rugged man.

“I tried so many times to get her to stop… I figured If I can't get her to stop, I can at least make sure she’s safe” you admitted, your words soft and innocent. He nodded, chewing the corner of his mouth, his head hanging slightly. “What about you? Why are you here?” Bouncing the question back at him, you watched as shifted his body, clearing his throat.

“Aint no where else to be!” You could feel the pain in his words, as simple as they were, you studied him for a moment, the way his jaw bone was prominent, his light coloured beard that shaped the bottom half of his face. You passed your fingers through your hair as you diverted your eyes away from him, what the hell am I thinking, checking out a guy in this situation. You pulled yourself up from the stairs as you took in your surroundings. You noticed a small body of water not far from the trailer, instantly drawn to it you don’t hesitate and walk straight for it.

You heard footsteps behind you, your head turning until you saw Daryl following you. You flicked the butt of your cig onto the ground before reaching the end of the small pond. Not long after Daryl was right by your side and you gave him a warm smile, His heart fluttered at the sight of a genuine smile from you and without thinking he flashed one back at you. Both of you then set your sights on the body of water, the relaxing sensation that took over as you watched it ripple peacefully. You spent a moment there with Daryl just taking in nature, you’ve always felt connected to the outside world, you knew since you were a little girl you were meant to be free outside, not cooped up in a trailer park or stingy house. You needed to be free, to be just out in the world, in the middle of nowhere, no people, no drugs, nothing. Your daydreaming soon came to an end when you heard the roaring of bike engines. Both you and Daryl followed the noise with your eyes. Your hand came to land on his shoulder and he couldn’t ignore the warm feeling that rushed over him.

“Who’s that?” you questioned him, your eyes not leaving the group of men climbing off their bikes and heading towards Merles trailer. Daryl just shook his head in response and without another word you both made your way back up to the trailer.

You broke into a small jog as you heard banging coming from inside the trailer but before you could reach the door, a group of men pushed past you, seemingly in a hurry to get to their bikes. You could hear Daryl behind you cussing at the men but not one of them turned back around as they rushed to their bikes and started them instantly and just like that they were gone. You looked back at Daryl and shared a look of confusion just then Merle pushed through the door. “We need to go” he demanded, instantly grabbing your arm and pulling you away from the trailer, tugging at you as you tried to pull away.

“I need to get Rose!” struggling to pull from his grasp, attempting to dig your feet into the ground to stop the man from pulling you further from your sister. He stopped once you were at your car, both his hands holding onto your arms as he leaned down to your eye level. His face was no longer spewing arrogance, instead it was replaced with remorse and guilt. Your stomach turned instantly as you shook your head, blocking any signals he was trying to throw at you. Soon you felt Daryl push between you both but you were frozen. Daryl could feel every breath you took on his back, he could feel them getting shorter and faster.

“What the hell is happenin’” You growled at his brother, ignoring the orange light that lit up his brothers expression. It wasn’t lost on you, you turned slowly before your eyes met the trailer which was quickly being engulfed in flames. You whimpered involuntarily as the reality of the situation set in, you fell to your knees in disbelief. On the inside you were screaming but nothing left your lips. The heat from the trailer now hitting your skin, your jaw dropped, the once cold tears now heating up on your cheeks. You felt arms wrap around your waist as you was lifted. You seemed to black out as Daryl picked you up and put you in the back seat of the car, climbing in next to you he kept his arms wrapped tightly around you, shushing you as the look of heartbreak never left your features. You didn’t  

feel the car start up but considering the outside world now seemed blurry, you knew you were on the move. You still couldn’t speak. You just listened as Daryl pressed his brother for answers of what happened while you were outside. You heard Merle explain how the men were there because he owed them money and despite the trailer being stolen they managed to track him down, how they picked him up from the sofa and pinned him down as they started setting the place a light, How he watched as Rose turned over and started choking on her own sick but he couldn’t get to her, the wouldn’t let him up. He just had to sit and watch her die. He noted that none of the men in the room saw her die but once they realised and the trailer was sufficiently laced with gasoline, they only had a small window to leave and so they did. With every word Merle spoke, a fresh tear escaped your tear ducts. You felt the arms around you tighten at the end of the story. You heard Daryl cuss into your hair as he tried to stop you from shivering. Yet you couldn’t move, you couldn’t speak…. at this point you were a shell.

-

Time had passed, you’re not sure how long, it felt like forever. The entire time in the car you didn’t speak a word, not fully processing losing your sister so suddenly like that. Every time your chest heaved a little too aggressively Daryl’s hold on you would tighten. You felt the car come to a stop, you felt the weight shift in the car as Merle left the drivers seat and once again when Daryl climbed out, it was long until the door at your side swung open and he guided you out of the vehicle and slowly walked you towards a large building complex. A motel of course. It was all blur, the lights from the neon sign welcoming people blurred into one large bright light. You’ve never felt so vulnerable, completely lost, the image of the trailer in a blaze engraved on your brain, it’s all you could see when you blinked. You overheard Merle talking about how he managed to get two rooms for the night, asking Daryl which one he was staying in, you suddenly snapped back to reality when you heard Merle try to convince Daryl that you couldn’t be alone.

“No, I’m fine on my own” your voice was shaky but stern, you watched the younger brother examine your face before nodding.

“We’re right next door, if ya need anythin’” you could sense how uneasy he was about leaving you on your own but not another word was said as you all made way towards the rooms. Merle wasted no time as he bust through his door and immediately headed for the mini bar but Daryl stood back for a moment, making sure you got into your room safely before he entered his own small room. There was only one bed and as if it was automatic Daryl set himself up on a chair in the corner closest to the door. His hands seem pretty shaken as he reached for the pack of smokes in his pocket. Merle paid no attention to his surroundings as he knocked back mini bottles of alcohol one after another, finally throwing the last small glass bottle at the wall “Fuck!” the sound of glass shattering didn’t phase Daryl, he barely even noticed, deep in thought… thinking about you.

 Once the door closed behind you, finally alone you pressed your back to the door and the hyperventilating began. It felt like you were suffocating, slowly falling to the ground as you clawed at your white shirt trying to get as much air as you possibly could. Your jaw clenched and you felt every individual teeth grind against each other as you passed a growl, with your breathing slowing down you picked yourself off the floor, filled with rage you looked around the room panicked. You heard the glass smash against your wall coming from Daryl and Merle’s room which only fuelled your anger. You noticed a TV and vase with fake flowers on the dresser, presumably to brighten up the stingy, dirty room and without hesitation you threw your hands across the table, sending the vase into a million pieces as it hit the floor, your scream followed with it. Your whole body filled with rage instantly fell back into sorrow. Leaning over the dressing table, you allowed your tears to fall directly on the oak wood, forming a puddle where the vase once lived.

You managed to pull yourself together enough to escape into the shower, the water washing over you freeing your cheeks from the salt water sting. You focused on each individual water droplet on your fingers, watching the way they danced on your skin in a pathetic attempt to distract yourself. Curled up in a ball at the bottom of the shower, completely bare and exposed, vulnerability at its best. The steam seemed to calm you down, soothe you.

-

After your shower you sat docile on the double bed, staring into the pitch black spots in your room, the only light that leaked in was from the neon sign outside which flickered often, something that would usually tip you over the edge but you became completely numb. Your gaze was cut short as someone knocked on your door. You waited for a moment, making sure it was real, making sure you haven’t started hallucinating in the trauma of it all. You saw a shadow on your window indicating someone was waiting at your door. Pushing yourself from your bed you dragged yourself to the door to open it. It was Daryl, holding a variety of snacks in his arm.

“Ya should eat!” he insisted, pushing the snacks a little higher.

“Not hungry” he stared at you for a moment, chewing on the corner of his mouth before shaking his head.

“Nah, ya gotta eat.” He demanded, pushing past the door and into your room, throwing the snacks on the edge of your bed. He looked around the room and noticed the vase and without hesitation he started to clean it up, the best he could. You closed the door behind him before resuming your spot in the middle of the bed, your eyes dancing from snack to snack hoping if you stare long enough you’d gain an appetite for at least one of them, you settled on a small bag of chips, popped them open and slipped one into your mouth. You watched as an absolute stranger tended to your room, you couldn’t help but feel more at ease with him being there. You watched as he picked up as many pieces of the vase as he could before locating the bin and chucking them in. He caught your eyes as he turned around and watched you for a moment, unsure of what to say to someone who had just lost their sister. His head dropped before making his way to your side, turning on the lamp next to the bed. He sat down on the chair next to the bed and watched for a moment before he picked up a snack himself and started to eat it, it was gone almost immediately, while you were still struggling to eat your second chip.

After a few moments of silence you turned to Daryl, instantly gaining his attention. You didn’t say anything, you just looked at him “You okay?” he questioned, his face looking puzzled.

“No” you admitted but he understood, he just nodded, standing back up with a little stretch making his way to the door.

“Well, I’ll see ya in the mornin’ “ but before he could twist the handle you called out to him.

“Stay” you swallowed the lump in your throat, finally admitting you couldn’t be alone anymore. It was too much. He just nodded before sitting back down on the chair, leaning back into it. You put the half empty packet of chips on the bed side table as you climbed under the covers, your eyes still on Daryl. He took that as his cue to turn the lights back off and settle back into his chair. Your eyes fluttered open and closed for a while as you tried to fight it, scared of what your dreams will hold for you tonight after everything that happened but eventually you sub came to tiredness and drifted off to sleep. 

[h2bakugou]

Idk if you do these kind of requests or not, but Amajiki, Tomura, Chisaki and Kacchan and their gf who’s on her period and she’s feeling low and just not herself???

a/n: i do hun! i did a similar period hc but this is different and i haven’t done these characters so here ya go love!

headcanon: them with a s/o who’s not feeling good on their period

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff

»»————-　★　————-««

tamaki amajiki

»»————-　★　————-««

Tamaki is a sweetheart. He is there for you and will hold you until you feel better.

He’s a little shy but he really cares about you, and when it comes to the people he cares and loves, this boy will go to the ends of the Earth for you.

Soft kisses on your cheek or forehead.

Holds you in his arms while you play with his hair or snuggle into his neck.

When you’re not feeling your best, Tamaki is there to reassure you. Granted he struggles too, he hates seeing you like this.

“Bunny, you’re amazing, please don’t say such awful things about yourself.”

His indigo eyes are full of love and meaning, and you can clearly tell that he wants to say more, but will leave it at that for now.

Knowing that Tamaki has his own struggles with things like that, it really means a lot to hear him say that to you. 

Tamaki knows how to take care of you and will probably not leave your side unless you need him too, or want some space. 

Sleeping with Tamaki is one of the purest forms of love honestly. He’s holding you close while still allowing you to move if you ever get uncomfortable. His fingers delicately trace shapes and words out on your skin as your snoring softly beside him.

It’s nothing weird or funny, he’s not trying to pull any stunts, it’s just the two of you, sleeping, or worn-out and resting.

It’s him loving you and making sure that you’re feeling okay. 

It’s him reassuring you that you are precious and that bad days happen and there’s not much you can do but let them pass.

love this soft boy !!

»»————-　★　————-««

tomura shigaraki

»»————-　★　————-««

As much as I am a Shigaraki stan, I feel like this man’s first reaction would be disgust.

“What is coming from where?”

“It’s called menstruation-”

But on a real note, he probably never had a proper sex education class, and everything he learned about anatomy and stuff was either picked up from someone else, or learnt about from a game or movie.

Onto the headcanon stuff, overall I feel like once he comes to terms with what’s happening, he’s protective and caring.

Doesn’t like when the members of his league, let alone the people closet to him in both platonic and romantic ways, get hurt.

So seeing you in almost constant discomfort and pain is agonizing to watch.

By your side most of the time unless you want him to leave you alone, which is a struggle because he is persistent and bratty in the best ways.

‘I’m not leaving you-”

“Tomura, I just want some space.”

“Shut up and let me hold you.”

He takes your huff as a sign of agreement, but eventually it’s those same arms that you wanted gone, the arms you’d fallen asleep in.

Tomura probably acts like he’s the one on the period.

He’s ordering Dabi, Kurogiri, or anyone else who steps into view to get things for you so he can watch you 24/7.

Okay but as annoying loving as Tomura is, I could also see him getting frustrated with you.

“You clearly don’t feel good so just lay down and get some rest!”

“But I don’t want to!” You’re pacing around the room you share with Tomura while he stands by the door.

“Lay down.” Tomura orders.

“Make me.”

It’s a simple phrase that comes with varying consequences, this time, it’s being slung over his shoulder and tossed onto the bed, force down by him just laying on top of you like a human blanket.

“T-Tomura! That hurts!” You breathe out.

Eventually rolls off of you and just holds you close, getting some much needed rest.

Hates seeing you look down on yourself during this time because he truly loves you. He’s learned to love because of you.

“You’re the only idiot I tolerate in this shit hole. You’re fine the way you are.”

“Was that supposed to be a compliment?”

Maybe he isn’t the best with words, but his actions, aka the hoards of hugs and kisses, are what show you he cares.

In the nicest way possible, he is the epitome of “alright babe i’m in the pad isle, what size pussy do u wear?” but he’S LEARNING

»»————-　★　————-««

katsuki bakugou

»»————-　★　————-««

Katsuki Bakugou is probably one of the most sensible guys to help you when you’re on your period.

He’s going to be there for you, bring you snacks if you need them, provide warmth and cuddles when it’s time to sleep or if you have cramps, but he also isn’t going to put up with you if you get grumpy.

He knows that that kind of stuff tends to happen, and he doesn’t want to make it worse by angering you more. He’s struggled with restraint, but when it comes to you, it’s both easy and challenging.

He wants to be there for you, but he knows you might need your space.

When he sees you talking down about yourself or feeling low, this man is going to beat the shit out of you verbally. He’s showing you love and affection by yelling at you. All kind words of course.

“You’re fucking beautiful! And you’re not worthless!”

“Suki, it’s one am-”

“But you’re mumbling about how you aren’t good enough and that’s bullshit.”

“Alright alright, I get it, I’ll stop.” You say softly, closing your eyes while trying to fall back asleep beside your loud boyfriend.

“Yeah you better or I’ll have to kiss you, dumbass.”

“Kissing me is a punishment?”

“You know what I meant!”

He’s flustered

Holds you close when you can’t get comfy.

Kisses you a fuckton oh my god.

Kisses you when you say bad things about yourself, kisses you to show he loves you, kisses you when you’re kinda grumpy, kisses you when you’re not mad, you get the idea.

He just wants to see you smile, and kissing you is one of those ways that makes you flustered and makes you smile that goofy smile that Bakugou fell in love with.

I mentioned this in another headcanon, but this man’s hands are period cramp relievers- place those bad boys over the pain and relax.

They’re warm, and big, and it’s also cozy and securing laying in his arms.

The best way to lay on Bakugou is to get up under his sweater and tuck yourself onto his chest, placing his hands over your sides and dozing off.

He’ll steal a few kisses, and probably take a cheesy selfie to set as his lockscreen later, but he’s not far behind you in the sleeping department.

Genuinely doesn’t see how you don’t see yourself like a goddess. But nonetheless, he will never stop complimenting you and reassuring you.

He loves you so much, and he’ll be damned if you see yourself as anything less than what you are, and that’s truly amazing.

»»————-　★　————-««

kai chisaki

»»————-　★　————-««

This man is smart, arrogant, and driven, but sometimes he can be a bit of an asshole.

Will obviously be at your side if you need anything, after all, you are his top priority.

This could go a few ways. If he’s comfortable with you, and overcoming his mysophobia, he’ll do everything he can and is comfortable with to make sure you’re okay.

If he’s still struggling with germs, he may not be physically affectionate, but he’ll do his best. 

I feel like Chisaki probably shows his love through gifts, or at least to an extent he’ll try to show his love with presents.

But when he comes to terms with his feelings, he’s a man of words. He’ll say how he feels before he shows it. And it’s hard because actions do speak louder than words. And sometimes not being able to kiss or hug Chisaki is hard.

But his reassuring really hits different. Because Chisaki isn’t one for affection. He runs a gang, or a section of a larger gang. He didn’t have time for relationships before he met you, and he probably could’ve gone years before he ‘settled down’ if he hadn’t met you.

So hearing Chisaki tell you that he loves you and that you are not disgusting or pathetic, you know it means something.

You’re fully tended to when it comes to things like snacks, drinks, hygiene products, it’s all taken care for and Chisaki wouldn’t have it any other way.

He is here to take care of you unless he’s told otherwise. If it’s space you want, he’ll give it to you, but not before he knows you’re completely okay and that you won’t need anything while you want space.

If he’s comfortable with getting physical, his hugs are sweet. Just being held by him is a blessing. His kisses are even better. It’s always a private thing, he’s not just going to whip his mask off and kiss you in the middle of the hallway, despite how much he’d want too.

Chisaki works and he works hard. So it wouldn’t be rare if he only ever cared for you at night/during the morning. Of course he’ll spend time with you during lunch or if he’s got a break, but he can’t spend every minute of the day with you.

But I think not seeing him constantly is what makes spending time with him that much better.

You’ve got something to look forward too, as does he. He enjoys coming back from a long day, to take a nice shower and climb into bed with his favorite person and hold you until you both fall asleep.

Kisses you on your shoulder, neck and cheek the most. Hugs you from behind and cuddles you by wrapping his arm over your side, having your back pressed to him.

He genuinely hates seeing you talk down about yourself, but he’s not going to constantly remind you that you’re gorgeous and nothing is wrong with you.

It’s hard to love yourself, but he knows deep down that you’re special and you’ll realize it sooner or later.

Overall, Chisaki is a pretty sweet guy, but he’s resilient and reserved. He knows what he wants, and he’ll do anything in his power to make you feel better.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist