#i am so glad i waited until i got older to read it because this would have traumatized me

[probablyaseamonster]

Hi I’m rereading Sunwing by Kenneth Oppel and WTF?!

[wildlife4life]

Fuck-It Friday Coda

Tagged by the amazing @hippolotamus @jesuisici33 @wikiangela and @tizniz (who dropped a whole new fic!) Thank you so much! Hope you all are just as hyped for bi-buck as I am!!!!!!! Not much to say than what's being said everywhere for 7x04. Here is my coda this historic episode and it can be read on ao3 as well. Enjoy!

It’s never really a surprise anymore whenever Buck runs into Tommy at the 118’s favorite hook and ladder bar. Hell, before they broke up, Tommy took him to this bar on a couple dates. Awkward dates but dates all the same.

Buck is waiting for the latest rounds of drinks at the bar when a familiar hand lands on his shoulder, “Hey Evan.”

He whirls around and comes face to face with the very man that opened Buck up to whole new world. “H-h-hey Tommy.” He greets nervously, gaze flickering over to where his team, Maddie, Athena, and some friends from dispatch sat.

Tommy catches it and smirks, “Here with the entire crew huh? What’s the cause for this meet up? Didn’t see or hear about any big Buckley heroics over the radio waves.”

Buck finally catches Eddie attention, and his partner stiffens slightly at the sight of Tommy. They were all still friends, mostly, but after the pilot ended things with Buck, sides were taken… in more ways than one.

“You lied back then. In your loft, before I kissed you.” Tommy stated, staring out the hanger doors, hands shoved deep into his flight suit’s pockets.

Wretchedness gripped Buck’s throat tightly. He knew where this was headed, and for just the briefest moment he wanted to fight it. Fight for what he and Tommy had. “I didn’t lie. I wanted to get to know you, I thought-I still think you are cool, and I just wanted you see that.” His voice was high and tight with the brittle lie.

Tommy shook his head and Buck caught his grimacing smile, “Buck you need to stop lying to yourself and open your damn eyes. I have and you want to know what I saw?” His voice cracked with anguish.

Buck’s lower lip trembled, and he could feel the prickle of tears. He didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to face it. Because if he opened his eyes to what Tommy is seeing, the despair would be 10 times worse than what he’s facing at the time.

Always the bravest of two of them, Tommy scoffed at Buck’s silence and pushed on, “You weren’t vying for my attention. You never have. Evan you never did any sort of chasing in this relationship, I did. I so was blinded by how endearing and open you were about your best friend, that I failed to see you misplacing you’re confused emotions onto the nearest person showing you affection. Me.”

The tears began to flow when Buck shook his head, “No Tommy. I liked you; I just didn’t know about that part of myself until you showed it to me.”  He tried defending.

His boyfriend snorted, “Liked. Past. Not present.”

And Buck’s heart dropped into his gut.

Finally, Tommy looked at him and everything in his stomach becomes rancid at the utter heartbreak on the older man’s face, “I’m glad I could help you embrace your bisexuality. Truly I am. I know how freeing it can be.  But Evan, those feelings you’ve have for men, for that one special man have always been there and instead of facing them, you took the easy way out with me. And fuck man, it hurts. It really does.”

“Tommy…” Buck started, but Tommy’s hand gripping his wrist silenced him.

“Evan-Buck. Its-well it’s not entirely okay, but you didn’t know or see and neither did I. At least not until you came back from Chim’s bachelor party. You two couldn’t even look each other in the eye and you’ve been off since.”

That’s because he and Eddie got into the biggest fight of their lives during Chimney’s bachelor weekend.  Because Eddie had been acting off since Buck came out, even though he promised nothing would change. Because Buck once again became enviously green when Eddie kept his attention on the private bar tender. Because Eddie looked Buck in the eye and asked, ‘Why does he get that part of you?’ in the middle of their screaming match that Buck still has no idea how it started but ended there. Because they both walked away, too scared to confront any of those feelings. Because Buck knew deep down, he wanted to give everything he was giving to Tommy, to Eddie and so much more.

“You are such a wonderful man Buck and I know it was never your intention to hurt anyone. But us being together, it’s destroying me and you and...” Tommy sucked in a sharp breath, “And Eddie.”

And there it was. Everything that Buck has been denying since Tommy confronted him in his loft.  The person who was really behind Buck’s complex and confused emotions those few months ago. It was time Buck accepted it. It was time to open his eyes. It was time to let Tommy go.

Buck let out a sob and tugged Tommy into a tight embrace, “I’m sorry, I really am.”

Tommy sniffled, “You have nothing to apologize for Evan.” He pulled back and put Buck at arm’s length, giving him a wet smile, “I was more than honored to be your queer awakening and guru.”

Buck barked out a soggy laugh, “You turned my entire world on its axis man, but in the best way possible.”

“You’re a special one Evan and Eddie… god what you two have and what it can be.” Tommy shook his head chuckling, “I can’t stand in the way of that anymore.”

The younger firefighter stuttered out a breath, “I think that’s more on me than you.” And gets a hum of agreement from his now ex-boyfriend. He stuck a hand out, “Friends?”

Tommy didn’t even hesitate and slapped his own hand into Buck’s, squeezing tight, “Absolutely. Just give me some time, and yourself as well.”

Buck took two days after the break-up to mourn what had been his best relationship to date, to wallow in his unknown carelessness, and to confront those mixed emotions that drew him to Tommy in the first place. Then he packed his duffle and went to work.

Chimney was the first to confront him since Tommy turned down a night out at the karaoke bar and explained that he and Buck broke up. Hen followed because those two paramedics tell each other everything. Bobby reminded Buck that he was willing to listen before giving his shoulder a squeeze. Ravi seemed, relieved, but sympathetic. And Eddie pulled him into the tightest embrace asking, “Why?”

Buck didn’t give him the entire answer. Simply stated, “It wasn’t working.”

Months later Buck gave him the entire truth by taking a page out Tommy’s book and kissing Eddie senseless with a firm grip on his chin.  Eddie, who was babbling away in his kitchen about not seeing what was in front of him and desperate to know if Buck is willing to give Eddie every part of himself, kissed Buck back with ferocity. When they pulled apart Buck finally told him why Tommy ended things, “He saw what we were all too scared to look at.”

That was almost a month ago and Buck is deliriously happy with his life, with his boyfriend, with Eddie. He doesn’t need to be weird or nervous around the man that helped lead him here.  So, he winks at Eddie, telling him it’s all good, and gives his attention to Tommy. “No big newsworthy rescues. Though Chimney did rescue his 100th cat.”

Tommy shakes his head laughing, “An almost impossible feat.”

“Very much so.” Buck comments, “We’re here to celebrate Maddie’s promotion at dispatch. Officially a supervisor.”

“Hey good for her!” Tommy exclaims, “Honestly surprised it took this long. Her voice seems to be on all the major calls lately.”

Buck nods, “Yea. Would have been a different ending for all of us after the bridge collapse last year if it weren’t for my sister.”

“Man, you Buckley’s and your heroism.”

Buck blushes, Tommy Kinnard always the charmer. The other man smirks, knowing the effect he has on him still. “You look good Buck. Happy. Wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain firefighter that’s all over your Instagram lately? Hm?”

As if summoned by Tommy’s mere mention of him, a red Henley covered arm snakes its away around Buck’s waist and warmth lines up along his back. “Hey Tommy, good to see yuh man.” Eddie greets smoothly before nuzzling close to Buck’s ear, “Get that drink order in yet babe?” He asks just loud enough to be overheard by certain people close by.

The pilot’s smirk broadens, but gives a friendly slap to Eddie’s back, “Good to see yuh too Diaz. Been a minute.”

Eddie nods and his nose moves along Buck’s jaw at the movement, making him tremble, “It has. Maybe we can meet up to spar sometime.”

Before his bisexual awakening and the admittance of his true feelings, hearing his boyfriend make plans with another man would have sent him on a downward spiral. Now, thanks in part to Tommy, Eddie, his sister, and the entirety of the 118, but mostly himself, Buck is secure and at peace with his place in their lives, in Eddie’s life.

But that still doesn’t stop his big hearted, ever thoughtful boyfriend from asking, “I know I’ve only taught you the basics, but you could join Evan.”

Buck leans back into Eddie’s embrace and brushes his lips against his partner’s cheek, “Hmm. I’d rather go for the title on more equal grounds, and I really want to save myself the embarrassment of Tommy seeing my ass get kicked.”

His ex snorts out a laugh, while Eddie’s cheeks pinken at Buck’s innuendo of the actual kind of sweaty, half naked situation they want to be in. “Still shameless as ever huh Evan?” Tommy comments.

Buck shrugs, “Nothing to be ashamed of. My boyfriend is hot and I prefer to have my ass handed to me in more intimate ways. But you two can kick, spin, and punch your little hearts out. I’ll enjoy some time with Christopher, maybe even take him to a field and play the much superior sport, football.”

“God you really do not like basketball huh?” Tommy retorts with a shake of his head, probably remembering the first and last time they played, ending with Buck almost breaking Eddie’s ankle in a confused jealous rage.

“I won’t let him near anything orange and spherical.” Eddie jokes giving Buck a tight squeeze. “But if you are up to it, I would love to come over and go a few rounds. You do have a pretty sweet set up.”

The LAFD piolet grins, “Bring the Chevelle too, we can give it a once over.”

Buck makes a mental reminder to give the back seat of said car a good cleaning because the last time he and Eddie drove it out, Buck took Eddie apart in back seat and a t-shirt wipe down definitely did not suffice as ‘clean up’.

Eddie clears his throat, and his blush deepens. Yea, he’s thinking the same. “Sounds good. I’ll shoot you text and set up a time.”

Knowing the conversation is coming to an end, Buck flags down the bar tender before looking over at Tommy, “You should join us. Drinks are on,” He pauses trying to remember who lost the credit card roulette and laughs when it comes to him, “Drinks are on Josh.”

Tommy softens at the invitation, “Drinks with the 118, haven’t done that in a while. I’m in. Miller lite to start.”

Buck laughs, “Yea I know. Go join the others, Eddie and I got this.”

“Yea, I know you do. BuckandEddie, the dream team. Happy for you both, truly.” Tommy kindly states, then gives a shoulder pat to the two of them before strolling away to join the 118 and dispatchers. They faintly hear loud cheers and greetings when he gets close, their friends and family always happy to see the man who put his life and career on the line for them.

Buck places their drink order and when the bar tender slides away, Eddie pulls him back into his chest and growls into his ear, “You may not be green with envy anymore, but I sort of am.”

A shiver runs down Buck’s spine at his boyfriend’s possessive tone and knew all too well that their time at the bar was going to be short lived…unless.

“It’s no Chevelle, but the jeep is parked pretty close.” Buck breathlessly tells him.

Eddie gives him a wicked grin, “You want to take me in the jeep?”

“Wanna go for another title?”

I put in so many references from the episode and previous episodes too, as mini celebration to the 100th episode. Hope you all enjoyed! If you want to know when I drop coda fic go interact with my pinned post. Tagging (no pressure): @try-set-me-on-fire @devirnis @bi-buckrights @exhuastedpigeon @cal-daisies-and-briars @bidisasterbuckdiaz @rainbow-nerdss @daffi-990 @dangerpronebuddie @theotherbuckley @watchyourbuck @perfectlysunny02 @aroeddiediaz @loserdiaz @diazsdimples @fortheloveofbuddie @rogerzsteven @lemonzestywrites @evanbegins @bi-buck-coded @glorious-spoon @thekristen999 @spotsandsocks @sunshinediaz @lover-of-mine @hoodie-buck @elvensorceress @bucksbiawakening @giddyupbuck @goforkinard @bekkachaos @thewolvesof1998 @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @bibuckbuckley @honestlydarkprincess @doublecheekeddiaz @prosperdemeter2 @transboybuckley @nmcggg @monsterrae1 @missmagooglie @bigfootsmom @911onabc @911-on-abc @homerforsure

[lttleghost]

okay I'm like complaining again but I wanna hear other ppls thoughts on this because I'm too impatient to wait until I've gone through all the commentary for BrBa and BCS in search of answers to confirm or deny my suspicions but GOD A FEW THINGS ARE DRIVING ME INSANE and I apologize for this ramble being maybe a lil disjointed in advance

so like, first, this scene-

if I look at this realistically it reads as Jake misinterpreting his and Jesse's parents talking about how Jesse's actions reflect back on them as genuine care, he's young, and I can imagine him having some insecurity in his parents care for him since we do know it is conditional, just Jake is currently meeting those conditions, but sensing that instability could've maybe influenced how he understood his parents talk of his older sibling.

but I just am having a hard time convincing myself that was intended when it was written... and this assessment from me could be unfair because - while I'm not quite sure at what point Jesse was no longer planned to be killed at the end of the first season - this does come from that first season, and I've heard there was a change in how Jesse was written after the first season and throughout the rest of the show there is NO evidence that Jesse's parents like, actually give a fuck about him, they actively make his life worse like when they kicked him out of his own goddamn house, and that all seems like those things have to be intended to make you think "wow Jesse's parents are awful!!!"

but then, not for me to complain about these two scenes in El Camino again but I'm gonna complain about these two scenes in El Camino again -

followed by this not too long after

because while if this movies thing of having blame being squared on Jesse's shoulders was just him talking to his parents it'd be easier to say "oh this is just a kid who was abused in a socially acceptable way not recognizing the abuse he went through and how that really did have a major effect on his life trajectory" but when these two scenes are put so close together it makes it really hard for me to not think that it's TRYING to say that Jesse is responsible for where he ended up even if they don't necessarily want bad things to happen to him

cause like I know, I know the writers are sympathetic towards Jesse but I don't think being sympathetic towards a character like him makes you immune to having harmful beliefs about addicts and criminals when they're so prevalent in wider society, like especially the idea that changing actions taken by individual people is the main problem that needs to be dealt with wrt addiction and crime instead of changing the structural problems that result in addiction and crime, like I've seen this mindset present in the fandom as well

I mean I know I have some evidence that at least Vince's ideas on justice aren't great with this bit from an interview about El Camino (also him having Jesse specifically say "I'm no cop killer" when Jesse would definitely know how cops are just another violent gang, like he could've just said "I don't want to kill anyone" instead of having cops on some higher level of innocence)

like I dunno believing at all that there's a good way to end with Jesse in prison (and not as a way to show how awful prison is either, since he talked about the idea of Jesse finally finding some sort of peace in prison sleeping) is kinda fucked up!!! I do want to fight him for this alone!!! even if like glad he changed it but I dunno the fact that he believes this just makes it easy to believe that he really would!! blame Jesse to at least some extent for what he got into, like I think that he understands Walt manipulated Jesse but I just, I dunno!!! things in BCS kinda bother me too irt just general ideas of crime and drug use ect... but I'm much less familiar with that show in comparison to BrBa so I don't feel as comfortable pointing specific things in it

like... do Vince Gilligan and the writers of Breaking Bad see Jesse’s parents as shit parents who were abusive in a socially acceptable way? or do they really think that they really did their best? is it somewhere in-between? like "they were abusive but they still didn't know any better"? or maybe is it as bad as believing Jesse's parents tried their best and them being rich is supposed to show that he had all he needed to succeed and was just a fuckup (instead of it showing that his parents had all the resources they needed to help him and... didn't) am I just overreacting because I am protective of my girl and the people that I know exist like him and am suspicious of those writing about them if I don't know all their politics behind the subject? I know I've talked to some ppl who have vindicated me w/ some of this but please share ur opinions I want to know the wider ideas on this since I feel like I just don't see it discussed that often

[recklessfiction]

Keep an Eye Out As You Travel West

You see a church, you just keep on walking. Most are abandoned anyhow, nothing left in 'em but the hollowed out husks of their priests. The rest have been filled by now; old pretenders, zealots, and self proclaimed prophets snatching up any man fool enough to worship. And that's if you're lucky. There are older things, other things that have curled up amidst the altars of the Lord like worms in dirt. If you're wanting to do any worshiping, best do it out under the sky.

There're things that roam the dust, figures of men with eyes deader than any corpse and smiles as bright and pretty as a lady's. They come around sometimes, always trying to pawn off some bizarre thing; elaborate crowns made of rusted nails, gold lockets with strange portraits inside, letters that can't be read without getting a deep pounding in your head, and keys rusted with so much blood it'd be a wonder if they turned anything at all. Now, I've seen what comes for folks who trade with them and I'll tell you this. Wherever they got their goods, it sure as shit wasn't from here.

You'll be hearing now about the "Oil Baptisms," I'm sure. Black sea water dredged up from some abyss, thicker than any water I've ever seen and you can smell it long a mile away. They say it gives people "the sight" but of what I can't say. All I know is that once you start smelling that briny shit on the wind, the screaming don't start long after.

Be careful what deals you make out here. There're plenty of strange folk who would be more than glad to work you down to the bone and long after, too. Work is work, crops need harvesting, graves need digging, meat needs carving, and idols need worshiping. Watch your words and read your contracts, else you might just be stuck washing the feet of the righteous until doomsday.

Best stay indoors once night comes, that's when a lot of the "families" start movin' out. They take to the roads, long lines of them, a parade of the ugliest sons of bitches you've ever seen. In the daylight, their skin never fits quite right and stinks to high heaven but once the sun dips past the trees, they start taking it off. They move from place to place, sloughing off their decayed flesh and stealing new off any traveler they come across. Lock your doors and put out your lights before they coming knocking on your door, asking sweetly, "Do you have anything I could wear?"

I am of the opinion that the woods ought not be traversed by folk who ain't been called there. Keep to the roads and towns, there's enough foul mess there if it's strangeness you're looking for. But what's in the woods has always been in the woods and if you pass the treeline with no business being there, well. The woods will give you business.

While a useful tool, a gun won't save you from drowning in the bathtub of a family of fanatic prognosticators, or from having your skin torn clean off by the night sky. Keep your ears up for any kind of protection you can get and learn to speak well because a lot of smart talk can get you out of a whole mess of trouble.

Keep on moving, friend. If you're looking to survive this trek, don't stop for anything, not even to bury the dead or feed the starving. It ain't worth what'll catch you, cause there's always things waiting for a fella to slow down so's they can get their claws in faster, deeper. You wanna be stuck here, in the fields and the dirt, under the big sky while hymns are burned into your skull? No?

Then keep on moving.

[star-centric]

I'm glad to hear you liked the older Nakahara prompt I sent! Hope you don't mind if I send another, I really like this idea as well. I was thinking of the aftermath of Chuuya learning about his siblings' amnesia and thought what if: Dazai got attached to Chuuya's sibling during the time they were together the same way he started to care for Oda and Ango in the future, basically genuinely seeing them as an older sibling. So now, he's constantly bickering back and forth with Chuuya (not that it's any different from Canon) like brothers and arguing over who's the favorite little brother. I say this because Chuuya's sibling would probably start to see him as a younger brother again, but in a sort of "I already have one baby brother, what's one more?" Type of way. They don't remember that he's their actual brother and think he's mistaken them for his actual sibling. They still think Dazai is their brother. I mean this in a funny way. They complain to Kouyou all the time about their "Little brothers who are constantly fighting"

CHARACTERS: Chuuya Nakahara and Older Sibling!Reader

NOTE: I guess this would count as a “sequel” (?) to this post, but that part doesn’t need to be read to understand this!

CW: strictly platonic/familial relationship, fluff, a teeny tiny bit of angst if you squint but it’s barely noticeable, mild language

“What am I going to do Kouyou?”

“I don’t think there is anything you could do.”

You sighed, already tempted to let your head fall on the table. You felt annoyed, confused, and more importantly- tired. Even when they weren’t around, you could still hear their arguments in your head.

You knew that Dazai and Chuuya had…friction between them. It wasn’t weird that they argue- you just didn’t think it would happen so much. It was tolerable at first, but now it’s getting to the point that you’re wondering what you did to deserve this. They may be two of the deadliest assets to the Port Mafia, but they’re still kids- and your little brothers.

“I mean, their fights don’t even make sense half of the time!” You whined. “I know that they’re teens and it’s bound to happen, but every single day? Don’t I deserve a break from this madness too?”

All Kouyou could do is chuckle and sip on her tea. You wish you could be relaxed like she was, even if she was being entertained by your pain at the moment.

“Of course you do- but I don’t think there’s any way for them to get along willingly outside of missions.”

“They can’t even get along during missions.” Which was true. The mission would be complete and you would come back with what was needed, but Dazai and Chuuya would still bump heads. Sometimes you wondered if your targets were grateful that they would be unconscious if it meant not having to listen to literal teens argue about whatever- you were a little jealous.

“They don’t realize how similar they are to each other- same with their goals revolving around you.”

“Which would be what?”

Kouyou was about to answer when you both heard a smash. Then yelling that was indiscernible at first until-

“See? That’s why I’m the favorite brother!”

“Like hell you are- you’re not even their brother!”

“That’s not what they think.”

You groaned while Kouyou watched on Dazai and Chuuya walked in, glaring at one another.

“Seems like that’s my cue to leave.”

“Wait Kouyou please-“

“I’ll stop by another time when you won’t be so…preoccupied. Have fun!” And with that, she walked off, heels clicking down the hall even with the growing yelling nearing your ears.

Dazai and Chuuya were already at each others throat, ready to hurl out more insults when you finally had enough.

You placed a hand on top of their hands, instantly silencing them.

If you didn’t care for them, you would probably both have them on the floor writhing in pain, showing the same mercy that you showed your enemies- which was none.

But you really did care for them- both of them.

“Hey, didn’t I say you two need to start being nicer to each other?”

“You can’t expect me to be nice to that dog-“

“And you can’t expect me to be nice to that bastard!”

You sighed- don’t know why you expected a different outcome.

“You’re both my favorites- so can you please stop now?”

You ruffled their locks, hearing them grumble under their breaths. You rolled your eyes- they can be so dramatic.

“You’re both my brothers, and nothing is going to change that.”

Chuuya snuck away from your touch, keeping his eyes glued to the floor. You’ve both come a long way from your initial meeting, and while there were some rockiness in the beginning, your relationship had gotten significantly better.

You really did see Chuuya as a brother.

But every time you said that, he would always look so…sad. So defeated, so bitter.

“I’m going to report to the boss.”

He sucked his teeth and walked away, not giving you a chance to stop him.

You thought you messed up any chance of a bond at first, but he gravitated towards you like nothing- so what was the issue? Even with Dazai trying to grab your attention, you couldn’t shake off your worriness.

You would try to get him to tell you what’s wrong, but he would just play it off like it’s nothing. The way his eyes looked just now told you a different story.

It bothered you that you couldn’t decipher what was eating at him. Your head would throb in frustration the harder you tried to dived into it. It was like an itch that you couldn’t scratch, the one thing that would linger on your mind each day.

It was like you were forgetting something.

[foxymoxynoona]

Over the Falls Ch. 3: Churn

Sexy Banner & bar by @borabae-gx

Summary: Jungkook sees a lot of things as a pool tech. It’s…  fine. It pays the bills between mornings on the water and evenings  rocking out with his garage-band. His favorite thing to see on the job has been Grace Birch –older but a hottie, wealthy but nice, and  unfortunately very married. At least until Grace learns what her husband  has been up to behind her back. Now that she’s free, Jungkook finds  himself wondering: what does it take for a guy like him to catch the eye of a woman like that?

Genre: Poolboy Jungkook x Rich Divorcee OC

Tags: Age gap (older woman), socioeconomic gap, Surferboy JK, drummer/guitarist/vocalist JK, Wealthy divorcee OC, househusband

CW: Mature/Explicit,  Infidelity (not between JKxOC), language, alcohol, recreational drugs, lots of explicit sex, ageist/racist/classist remarks down the road, outdoor sex, beach sex

Chapter Two | Masterlist | Chapter Three

“GRACE!”

She hated the way her name sounded as a shout. The gr got swallowed, the a dragged out, the c punched too hard. Tim had always said her name in a way that sounded like an insult, she just hadn’t realized it until now. He rarely called her by it, only if he was angry or disappointing her, pleading for her to accept an insincere apology.

Grace pulled her phone out and opened the voice recording app, as instructed. When her divorce attorney had given her these tips, she hadn’t thought she would need them. She’d been more focused on her regret that she wouldn’t get to see Tim’s face when he got served the papers. He’d be so shocked. He didn’t know she knew. He would never expect her to go through with this even if she did find out –and that had, in fact, been the deciding thing for her. Her husband would make excuses and expect to be forgiven. 

Well, she refused. She refused to be that woman. She refused to spend another minute of her time working on a marriage to this man. She’d worried about her decision up until the first meeting with her divorce attorney and then relief had flooded her system so sharp and fast that it nearly carried her away. She couldn’t fucking wait to be divorced from this asshole, who was too stupid and to even delete the evidence from their in-home camera system 

They’re always stupid, the divorce attorney –a woman named Lidiya Hel, very good at what she did– told her. Their egos can’t imagine that they’ll get caught. Their egos can’t imagine they won’t be forgiven because they’ve always been forgiven for everything. It’s not like this is the first thing he’s done wrong in the marriage, is it?

No. It was not. 

As soon as the backdoor slid open, Grace sprang to her feet, hit record, and announced, “I am recording this conversation so I’d suggest not saying anything you don’t want on record.”

“Grace.” He spat her name and stormed towards her, the yellow legal envelope curled in his hand like a newspaper to hit her on the nose with. “The fuck is this? Divorce papers?”

“Yes. Did you read them?”

“I didn’t need to! I saw the first line and knew something was wrong. I was at work! I was just leaving a meeting with the CEO and this fucktard comes up and asks who I am. I thought it was a shithead new hire! Instead he gives me this shit. At work!”

Grace was glad to hear the play by play and corrected him, “I don’t control when the server finds you.”

“Don’t give me that shit. What is this? What do you mean, divorce? First I’m hearing that you’ve got any issues in this marriage and you didn’t even have the balls to talk to me first? Sweetheart, whatever it is–”

“Don’t call me sweetheart,” she interrupted. “That’s what you’ve been calling all of the women you fuck in our home. I’m not sure what you call the ones you don’t bring here.” She didn’t actually know if there were more than the three over the last two years, but she assumed so. Probably on all those business trips.

Tim froze. The fucking idiot. The papers said she was filing on grounds of adultery. He really hadn’t read them. Grace couldn’t imagine the self importance you needed to just walk into a situation like this blindly and assume it would go well for you.

“You can’t be surprised I figured it out,” she scoffed. “Do you realize how much footage I have from the home security system you chose?”

“You’re bluffing and it’s not a good look for you,” he countered. “You don’t have the login for the account. It’s in–”

“I’m your wife. It was no problem at all to get it.”

Tim froze, like she’d paused a video, for an insanely long moment.

“Now… now look here. I…” he restarted. 

Actually, this was even better than seeing him when he got served. The emotions moved so rapidly across his flace she couldn’t name them, but she did know they indicated a usually brilliantly-quick mind trying to pick its angle. He was quick on his feet, that was why he did so well at his job. What would he choose: play the victim? Blame her? Beg for forgiveness? Rage about the invasion of his privacy?

He glanced at the phone in her hand and laughed, “What do you think you’re doing, sweetheart. I can toss that in the pool and there goes your precious recording.”

“Ruining my property, I think that’s technically assault.”

“Just because your head-up-his-ass father is a lawyer doesn’t make you one. I’m sure he’s– no. No, I didn’t mean that. You’re just catching me by surprise right now. I’m not going to break your phone. What, did you think I was going to do something violent?”

“Maybe.”

“Grace…”

“Turns out I don’t know you at all.”

“Oh come on,” he sighed, and looked away. He was still deliberating. He was trying to buy time, trying to calculate which method would get him what he wanted. And she knew he was having a hard time because he couldn’t predict her anymore. He pinched the bridge of his nose and gave another deep sigh. “Grace. I’m sorry.”

She really hadn’t thought he’d pick that one. 

“I made a mistake. You’re right.” He nodded, gaze roaming the pool area, her book, her drink beside the lounge chair. “I got carried away… I’m under so much pressure with work, you know that. A few late nights, and… and you working so much…”

“So it’s my fault you fucked multiple women?”

“I’m a sex addict.”

“You’re a liar,” she corrected, “And a selfish prick.”

“Oh, what now, who’s the one calling names on your little recording?” he demanded, as if this was some incredible victory for him. “Here I want to have a conversation about how we can fix this marriage and you’re–”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Fix what?”

“I know you’re hurting right now and in shock… I… I didn’t mean for you to find out,” he said, hands out like he expected her to slip hers into them. “I knew I messed up. I’d already called it off and I was going to come clean and–”

“Yeah fucking right.” 

“You fucking bitch, you can’t even listen to me saying I– Sorry,” he interrupted himself again, holding his hands up for a pause and looking away. Grace just stared at him and tried to understand how she had ever loved this toad. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that,” he said. “I’m just frustrated. Sweetheart, I understand you’re hurt and mad. Hey, I’d be pissed too if you were fucking around, but if the situation was reversed and I was looking at it from how you’ve been, I’d hear me out because I love you and—”

“From how I’ve been? How have I been, Tim?” she demanded. “Supportive? Lonely? Dedicated to our marriage and the things that make you happy?”

“Me? The things that make me happy? What’s so hard that you’re doing to make me happy? You don’t sacrifice a damn thing for me, you just peck at my all the time and all the ways I’m not as successful as your dear old dad. Let me tell you what you’re not doing to make me happy is you aren’t… you aren’t supporting me when things are hard at work. You aren’t listening to me now as I’m apologizing and trying to fix this.”

“There’s nothing to fix! You’re a terrible husband but I thought you were at least loyal! I thought you were just a workaholic because I’m an idiot!” She stepped away from him, biting back her own rage so it wouldn’t make her cry. She didn’t want to rage cry. She wanted to stay calm and in control because she had made her decision and there was nothing he could say to change it.

“Sure, now you’re saying I’m a terrible husband, but I’ve made you happy! We’ve been happy together all these years and I’m not the one giving up on our future. Get rid of these fucking papers,” he said and threw them into the pool. “We’re not talking divorce. We’ll go to counseling. I’ll go with you.”

“I’m not going to counseling with you.”

“Oh, but I’m the bad guy? I’m the one who wants to work on our marriage here–”

“We don’t have a marriage, Tim. It broke as soon as you started fucking around and I can’t begin to understand why you suddenly want to fight for it now.”

“Because I made a mistake and I don’t want to let that ruin the best thing in my life–”

“No. No you did not make a mistake. How many mistakes did you make, Tim? How many women? For how many years? I have proof of at least three and I’m sure more will be uncovered–”

“What, your dad hired a fucking P.I. or something?” His face hardened and it reminded her of the “jokes” he’d made before, about whether her family did that kind of thing, if they’d have him investigated or watched, if they’d ever trust him. He said they were crazy, delusional, then reached his hand out for some of their money. They had done that before the wedding, without her knowledge of blessing. Because her family well knew that money made other people crazy and delusional and willing to do anything to get it from you. There had been nothing to find back then. Or he hadn’t been as lazy about hiding it. 

Tim paced, tucking his hands into his armpits as this new thread caught him, and he pressed, ‘What does your dad think about this, huh? Your family all up in arms ready to crucify me when I bet your dad’s done the same thing. It happens, Grace. Men make mistakes when they work with the kind of stakes men like me and your dad do–”

“Stop comparing yourself to my father,” she scoffed. “You are nothing like him.”

“So far as you know, huh, Grace? You’re so fucking naive…”

“Yeah, about you!”

“Daddy’s Girl, worship the ground he walks on. I should have known he’d tell you to leave me. Is that what he said?”

Grace knew it would drive him crazy as she answered, “His reaction isn’t any of your business.” Tim wanted so badly to be liked by her father, despite his claims of not caring. How devastating for her that he would probably be more upset to lose her father’s respect than to lose hers.

“You want me to apologize to him? I’ll do it.”

“It’s over, Tim. I am not interested in reconciliation and it has nothing to do with my–”

“Like hell you’re not! I’ll fight for this marriage–”

“Why?!” she cried. “You don’t want to be with me!”

“Of course I do! I married you, Grace! I love you!”

“You don’t.”

“Don’t you tell me what I do or don’t–”

“You cheated on me! You don’t cheat on people you love!”

“It was a mistake. I regret it! You get that on your recording? You got your little trophy? Turns out when a man is nagged by his wife it gets to him.”

“It’s not my fault!” Grace insisted. She felt like he was spinning around, trying to make her dizzy and confused.

“You want me to grovel? Is that it?”

“If I’m so awful as a wife, why do you even care that I want a divorce?” she countered. “Don’t you want to be free so you can be with those nineteen-year-olds.”

“I would never be with someone under twenty-five,” he grimaced. “And no, Grace, I want to be with my wife.” It was insane, the way he made it sound like she was the one hurting and depriving him here. She had thought her rage and pain had built enough of a bulwark around her heart for this conversation, but watching him lash out like this just drove the point in deeper. Maybe there was a small part of her that had hoped Tim would offer a valid excuse, or that his apology would feel sincere and enough and she could forgive him, love him again, save her marriage.

But all he had to say was that this was her fault and he’d made a mistake. He didn’t seem loving or apologetic as he grappled with a barely-controlled rage that had her checking that the chair wasn’t right behind her in case she needed to run. Tim wouldn’t hurt her physically… right? But two weeks ago, she wouldn’t have expected he could cheat on her either… well. Maybe that wasn’t totally true. Maybe she wasn’t actually surprised by all this. Was that better or worse than being blind-sided? It didn’t matter, she’d never be close enough with someone again to compare.

Her face must have shown some emotion that Tim seized upon, because he reached his hand out and insisted, “Come on, sweetheart. Stop this bullshit. We’ve been together too long. I know I fucked up and I’ll make it up to you. No need to call quits on us yet.”

“Is it because of the prenup?” 

The question rolled out without a thought and she immediately regretted it.

What little restraint Tim had held through all of this snapped. Ah, the prenup. The one her dad had insisted on, that she almost hadn’t done in an effort to prove that she loved and trusted Tim. That he was worthy of trust. 

“This isn’t about the fucking prenup!” he shouted in a way that made it very clear it was. At least in part. Grace was very familiar with that prenup, having just gone over it in detail with her divorce attorney. Their marital earnings would be split 50/50, but exclude any interest earned on the money either had before marriage, defined as a set dollar amount. Grace’s amount had been much larger than Tim’s. Tim would be safe from paying alimony despite the fact he made more now, unless a judge overruled their prenup on that point. But, probably the most stressful piece to Tim right now, was that he would owe her father the amount he had borrowed to start his consulting business, after his own parents wouldn’t loan him the money because the first one had folded. Grace had been so confident he’d succeed, she hadn’t even felt embarrassed by her father’s insistence on tying the loan to her prenup. She’d figured it was just a way to spare Tim’s ego at accepting the loan, since obviously he would always be a loving, devoted husband, and so it would forever remain just “family money” and not require payback. That consulting business too had gone under, the money was gone.

Until now. Now Tim owed her father $5 million dollars, on top of splitting his assets with Grace in half. She was not actually sure he even had the money, though she suspected he had multiple bank accounts in addition to their shared one. She had a second one, no harm in that, but at this point she doubted him on everything so who knew what he was hiding? So she had squashed her early instinct to be merciful and nodded when the attorney suggested he’s probably been using you for a long time; let’s take him to the cleaners. 

“How fucking dare you bring up the prenup? The prenup doesn’t matter! We aren’t getting divorced! You know better than that! There’s no way your family supports you leaving me, we made a commitment to each other–”

“That you failed when you cheated on me.”

“And now you’re failing it worse by quitting! Don’t even talk about it anymore, I won’t go through with the divorce! We’ll take some time off work and go on a nice vacation together and do marriage counseling and then we’re going to put this whole thing behind us–”

“Until you cheat again?”

“Stop talking about that! You think I wanted to do that? But you’re such a bitch all the time and it wears a man down to have someone like you always nagging about what’s going on at work and whether I closed the deal and why can’t I be like your dad! Go fuck your dad then if you think he’s so fucking great!”

“Stop. Just stop talking,” she pleaded under the weight of his words. Probably the whole street could hear them right now, she realized. She was done with this conversation. She wanted it to end. Any sense of victory or enjoyment was now gone. 

“No, you wanted to talk about our marriage! Let’s talk! You think you’re some poor suffering wife here? You’re barely a wife! You run around playing at being a real estate agent so you can spend money on that shit you call art and be some queen bee in the Society or whatever the fuck your family gets randy about–”

“Stop it, Tim!”

“Oh you don’t like us talking about you, huh?”

She grabbed her things, phone still clutched in her hand and tried to step around him to get to the house. 

He grabbed her arm and she screamed, “LET GO OF ME!”

“Hey everything ok back there?” a male voice called, and for a brief moment Grace thought it was the pool guy again. Wouldn’t that be perfect? And yet a strange rush of relief came with the idea; Grace felt a desperation to hide behind any man who could make Tim go right now. So feminist of her, huh? She hated herself for the impulse and yet…

“Fuck off!” Tim shouted at the interloper.

“Ma’am?” the voice called again and now she could see the mailman by the back gate. “You need me to call someone?”

“I told you to fuck off,” Tim said, stepping around her to march towards the man now. Grace wanted to wilt under the mortification of a witness at the same time she felt a deep gratitude that someone had heard and actually stepped in. Who did that? The mailman! Even if her neighbors did hear anything right now, they were probably sipping mimosas by the window to hear what other dirty laundry came out. 

“I’m fine, thank you,” she called to the mailman. “My ex-husband was just leaving.”

“Like fuck I am,” Tim said, whirling on her again. “This is my house. I’m not going anywhere. You do some thinking, Grace, and get your head together quick to save this marriage, because you need me more than I need you. You think anyone else is going to deal with your rich bitch attitude?”

“Who says I want someone else? I’m not shopping around, but I deserve not to be treated like this–”

“Yeah it’s all about what you deserve. You have no fucking clue what the world is like because first daddy protected you and now I’ve done the same thing and look where it fucking got me. Wasting our money on a goddamn divorce lawyer. We aren’t getting divorced!”

The mailman was still there and had pulled out his phone. Grace saw it and tried to gesture not to. Tim didn’t notice. He’d said his piece and stomped into the house, fuming. There was no way to slam the sliding door but he tried and his scream of rage almost cut through Grace’s fear to make her laugh. 

But she didn’t laugh. She sank to the lounge chair, her legs shaking, her head throbbing. The air felt static in the wake of his fury.

“You ok?” the mailman called to her. “I can still call.”

“No, I’m fine. I’m so sorry you saw that. We’re… getting divorced and he’s not taking it well.” The first person she had told she was getting divorced: the fucking mailman.

“Good for you,” he said, but it sounded sincere. “I hope you leave that bastard high and dry. You sure you’re going to be ok? You have somewhere else to go?”

“I’ll be fine, but thank you.”

He seemed reluctant to go. She couldn’t believe he’d stepped in so much; she’d never traded a word with this man in her life though she did leave him a gift at the holidays. Merry Christmas, to our postal worker, because she didn’t know his name. Did she really seem like such a damsel? His hesitation twisted her emotions and she began to feel genuine anger. Couldn’t he see that this was embarrassing? She’d said he could go! He should go!

He was gone before the angry words rolled off her tongue, for which she was grateful. But then she was alone and that felt bad too. The yard felt eerily quiet and she wondered what Tim was doing inside. It scared her. She still believed he wouldn’t physically hurt her, but was that only because she wanted to believe that? He might be in there finding some other way to vent his rage: destroying her paintings or smashing TVs or who knew what.

She ended the video. It was long. She couldn’t bear to watch it but immediately sent it to her attorney, then called.

“Grace. I haven’t watched the video you just sent. Is there something wrong?” Lidiya asked.

“Tim isn’t handling news of the divorce well,” she admitted, her breath shaking as she blinked back tears. She felt like he was still standing there yelling at her. “I don’t think I can stay in the house with him. I mean, I can… but I don’t want to… but will I lose my stake in the house then? Abandonment?”

“No, not at all. He has made you feel unsafe. As long as you keep paying your part of the bills, it’s fine.”

“Hold on a second.” Grace looked up at the rumble of the garage door. A car door slammed and then Tim’s car peeled out of the garage.

“He left. I can breathe now.”

“Good. Catch your breath and go pack your things. Stay with a friend, family, hotel, it doesn’t matter. The disclosure is hard if the other person doesn’t see it coming. I won’t lie and say this will be the only hard part, but you will get through this and I’ll be right there with you.”

Grace wanted Lidiya to tell her she was doing the right thing, that this divorce was the right step. She knew it was. But it was one thing to know it and another to have Tim standing there yelling, twisting her around, making it sound like she was the cause for failure. And she hated this. She didn’t want to leave the house! She couldn’t pack up all her stuff so quickly so she’d have to leave things behind and hope he didn’t destroy them in his rage. She didn’t want to stay somewhere else. She didn’t want to admit to her friends and family any of this was happening, and staying somewhere else was a concrete step towards admitting this was happening. She loved this house! She hadn’t loved married life to Tim but she could pretend she had, to mourn the things she had thought were good. She wanted to keep lying by the beautiful pool, but Tim had ruined her day just like he had ruined everything else.

September

“So then she grabs my ass,” Jungkook explained, “and laughs. Like, right in my face with her nastyass cigarette breath.”

Yoojin reached around him to pull the cabinet open and search for a sippy cup lid, nearly clocking Jungkook in the head from where he sat on the counter. 

“That’s so gross. Did she try to pretend it was an accident?”

“No. She asked me what kind of body oil I use. I was just sweaty! It’s fucking ninety-eight degrees out there today!”

Yoojin crinkled her nose and said, “That’s disgusting.”

“I know!”

“No, I mean you being that sweaty. Have you thought of getting a doctor to look into that?”

“Shut up, asshole,” he laughed, trying to kick the back of her knee as she sauntered away. 

“Hey, not in front of my son!”

But Max not only wasn’t in the room, it would be highly unlike him to repeat anything he heard, despite their best efforts. His first birthday had just passed, but he still had only a few words he reliably used, much to Yoojin’s panic. She’d recently implemented a rule that everyone had to only speak English to him, in case speaking two languages at home was slowing him down. Eomma insisted he was clearly smart and just didn’t have anything to say yet, but it was a sore subject, likely to send Yoojin into a shrieking fit, like she had when Jungkook asked if the pediatrician had said anything about it. He still didn’t know if she’d even asked about it. He didn’t think fear or shame were a good reason not to ask the pediatrician though, even if it was them doing something wrong.

“Yeah, how would he feel to hear his mom is victim-blaming, huh?”

“I’m not victim blaming. If you’re so pissed about it… I don’t know. Tell your boss you won’t work at their house anymore or something. I thought you dealt with this all the time?”

“Not all the time. It was worse when I was a cabana boy, and those fuckers didn’t give a shit what we dealt with from guests. The guest is always right.” He shuddered. The tips had been phenomenal but ultimately not worth it. He still started on the defense around older women drinking by a pool or beach, at least that kind of older woman. You could always tell. Just like he’d known Mrs. Abigail Pender was trouble since he’d started working for them. He hadn’t thought she’d actually grab him like that, but he’d never felt comfortable around her. Just tried to be polite when she’d so brazenly flirt with him. Apparently all it took was three margaritas (she’d been bragging) and the encouragement of her friends (they’d been drunk too, watching from the patio.)

Jungkook still felt shaky about the whole thing, even though that was embarrassing too. It wasn’t like he thought Mrs. Pender was going to harm him or anything. But who knew what a pissy white woman was capable of? She’d looked shocked when he’d pried her hand off and said, “Please do not touch me, Mrs. Pender. I’m just here to clean your pool.” Like she’d actually thought he came by to flirt or something?! Now he debated whether to tell Bob about the incident or wait to see if she’d call to file some bullshit complaint. That had happened multiple times, and though Bob had been understanding about the call from Limpdick Birch a couple weeks ago, if this was the second woman complaining about Jungkook, at what point would Bob think Jungkook was doing something to cause it all? He wasn’t! He was just cleaning the fucking pools! 

Well, except for the Birchs, where he had involved himself and was no longer cleaning the pool. He’d asked someone else to cover the last month of their cleanings for the summer and worried that was just going to make him look bad in light of any complaints from Mrs. Pender. 

“Yeah, but I mean as a pool guy. Maybe you need to wear more clothes or something? Don’t look at me like that, I realize how it sounds but this is how it goes for women all the time. We should be allowed to wear whatever we want and not get assaulted. It doesn't mean we can.”

“It’s hot and I work outside,” Jungkook defended. “At least if a guy grabs you, you can deck him and everyone will agree it’s deserved. If I deck an old lady, I’m getting sued and going to jail.”

“Ooof, it’ll only be worse in prison.”

“Yoojin, that doesn’t help!”

“I’m sorry,” she sighed, screwing on the lid of the sippy cup and sloshing apple juice onto the counter. The sink was piled with dishes even though she and Max had been the only ones home for lunch. “What else do you want me to say? Cougars are gross. Get a different job.”

But Jungkook didn’t want another job. He sighed noisily as she left the kitchen. Yoojin wasn’t usually his first choice to complain to, because she tended to be unsympathetic at best, and usually just found a way to insist her story was worse. Yeah, Jungkook didn’t envy her raising her son alone –but she wasn’t really “alone.” She lived with his parents. Jungkook babysat a lot for free. 

“If jobs are so easy to change, why don’t you have one?” he demanded, chasing after her. 

“Get off my ass, I’m on round two of an interview!” She slapped at his arm. “Don’t make me sound incompetent in front of Max!”

Max had been reaching for Yoojin but Jungkook scooped him up, hotly defending, “I didn’t make you sound any way. Besides, if I quit my job, I probably can’t babysit for free anymore like this. You want to pay me?”

“You aren’t babysitting,” she immediately complained. “You’re uncling.”

“I’m letting you mooch off my time,” he insisted. But then, afraid she would actually take it as a complaint, he spun Max around and added, “It’s his fault, he’s too stinking cute. It’s hard being the favorite person but ah… a burden I must bear.” Max giggled and squished Jungkook’s cheeks and babbled. “Hey, do you think he just said ‘uncle’?”

“No, I don’t think he just said uncle. I wish! He won’t even say ‘mama’! What the fuck, right? Hey, next time one of the old crones hits on you, why don’t you just play dumb and point out they’re old enough to be your mom?” Yoojin asked. Her eyes sparkled like this sudden idea was the clear and obvious answer to all his problems.

“But they’re into that, that’s the problem,” Jungkook snorted. 

“God I wish people thought I was old enough to be someone’s mom. I’m so sick of people asking if Max is my baby brother. Like what the fuck?”

“Language, Yoon. Or ‘fuck’ might be his next word,” Jungkook scolded her just to get a rise out of her. She opened her mouth, probably to let another string of curses out, butEomma and Appa swung the door open, back from grocery shopping. “Not a word about my work thing,” he said quickly to Yoojin. The last thing he needed was Eomma and Appa worrying about his job security or health and happiness. One time they’d found out about a woman harassing him as a cabana boy and they had actually gone to the resort to talk to his boss about employee protection and the next thing he knew, Jungkook was looking for a new job. The resort swore it had nothing to do with that, but Jungkook knew. Even though he couldn’t hate his parents for it, they had just been trying to help when there had been so little they could do for his brother. Not that they’d ever admitted that was a part of it, but honestly, marching into a resort to complain?! We didn’t come here for our children to be treated like this! He didn’t want them to think he needed that kind of help. He could take care of himself.

Besides, it wasn’t like Jungkook didn’t ever flirt to get good tips or reviews. He didn’t do that now, at least not with any women who would take it too far, but back then… eh, he’d hooked up a couple times with guests too, which was technically what he was fired for…

<“Eomma, Appa, I said I’d go shopping with you,>” Jungkook scolded in Korean, carrying Max over. 

“Stop talking in Korean around him!” Yoojin cried. She was ignored.

Eomma assured him, <”We don’t need you to go grocery shopping with us. We had the time together.”>

<”You work tonight.”>

”Bye Eomma, Bye Appa, I’m going to my second interview. See? Speak English like that,” Yoojin said, trying to slide past them after she kissed Max on the head.

Appa’s face screwed up as he asked, “An interview dressed like that? What is this company again?”

“It’s a catering company, I told you. I have to look nice.” Now Junkook looked at her outfit and also thought it looked a little off for a job interview with a catering company. Her short black dress was pretty tight, and her heels were nothing like you’d wear to show you knew how to cater food and she had a small purse. Small purses meant date.

“Are you going on a date?!” Jungkook hissed, clamping a hand over one of Max’s ears as if to protect him. Max was far more interested in Jungkook’s shell necklace than in whatever his mom’s secret plans might be. “Am I babysitting for you to go on a date?!”

“No! It’s not a date! It’s an interview, I swear! I just dressed nice!”

Jungkook didn’t want to dig in too hard in case it was true and he made her cry –she could turn it on like a faucet in front of their parents and then he’d look like an ass. But Appa raised his eyebrow, also not convinced, and shuffled past with two bags of food.

Eomma nodded at her, <”Ok, good luck if it’s a job interview.”>

“You’re all bullies,” Yoojin huffed. It was impossible to tell if she was really upset by their doubt. Jungkook thought her lack of shouting might actually mean she really was going on a date and didn’t want to back herself into a corner confirming it. Jungkook bit his tongue, for now, but only because their parents were there, and Max was grunting like he was trying to poop. Jungkook would change the diaper, but he drew the line at holding the kid while he did the deed. He’d save the brotherly lecture for later. The last thing Yoojin needed to be doing while she was unemployed with a one year old was going on dates! Not to mention every guy she went after was just like her ex, and she threw a fit if you pointed that out to her. If she was going to date, at least Jungkook wasn’t going to babysit for free for it.

He wound up trading Eomma, so she got stuck with the diaper while Jungkook carried in the groceries and did his best to help put them away with some guidance from Appa. He’d wanted to help with the shopping so Eomma wouldn’t wear herself out before her shift at the nursing home; she was working nights this week. 

<“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”> Jungkook asked Appa, before realizing it was Thursday so Appa had Go night at the community center in K-town. His days were off. He blamed it on not cleaning the Birch’s pool yesterday. He wondered if Mrs. Birch had noticed someone else came by, or if she’d even cared. Probably she was relieved. For all he knew, she’d called to ask for a replacement anyway and Bob just hadn’t mentioned it yet.

<”You and Max can come with me tonight,”> Appa suggested. 

<”It’s tempting but uh…”> Jungkook scrambled trying to think of an excuse, before settling on, <”Yoojin told me not to take him there. You know, she just wants him hearing English. Maybe she mentioned that.”>

<”That’s not the problem! He’ll talk when he’s ready, in English or Korean!”>

Jungkook shrugged. At least the excuse worked. He didn’t feel like sitting around listening to Appa and a bunch of old men play games and talk about sports and weather. He had thought about taking Max to the beach to get him used to it early, but diaper bags were almost as much of a hassle as getting sunscreen on a baby, and after his morning, he didn’t feel up for it. Plus it was hot out. Maybe they’d go for a walk later or maybe they’d just play inside. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket and it felt like he’d stuck a staple in an outlet. He left Eomma and Appa debating what to eat for dinner since both of them would leave early and carried Max with him back to what had become Max’s room once he moved out. He knew it would be Bob’s name on the screen before he even got his phone out of his pocket.

“Yeah, Bob? What’s up, man?”

“Hey, JK. I just got off the phone with–”

“It wasn’t my fault,” Jungkook blurted out. “I didn’t flirt with her or anything, she was just drunk and gossiping with her friends and then grabbed my ass.”

“Uh… who’s this now?”

“Shit. Uh… who did you get off the phone with?” Jungkook asked. He looked to Max for a shared grimace but Max saw toys now and squirmed to be let down so he could play. Jungkook collapsed onto the rug beside him and began nervously stacking blocks.

“I was just calling about the Breslins, they said they want to keep the pools at their properties open through the winter and it looks like it fits into your schedule now that you dropped the Birch house but what’s this about?”

“Ah, just… an incident with…”

“JK, man, I told you, you gotta tell me if there’s an incident. What house?”

“Pender. She got drunk and grabbed my ass. I told her not to touch me and that I was just there to clean the pool. She said some other things but went back into her house and I finished up and left, that’s it.”

“Pender, Pender…. Oh that’s why that name is familiar. You’re the second poolboy then. I don’t give third chances, I’ll let her know we’re dropping her account.”

“Wait, what?!”

“Good, that frees you up for the other Breslin properties. I’ll email you the new schedule.”

“No, wait, Bob, you can’t just drop a client, can you? Aren’t they going to… I don’t know, sue or review bomb or something?”

Bob’s chuckle over the line reminded Jungkook how much he actually did like this job, as he said, “Sometimes. And then what am I going to do, say she’s got to stop assaulting my pool techs. And then she wants to take me to court to prove it didn’t happen, and everyone’s talking about it now? Nah, she’ll bitch to some friends about what a shitty company we are. These people are petty but they’re lazy, and if it’s a repeat offender, they probably don’t want anyone opening the closet door. A couple people start coming forward, suddenly you’ve got a dozen people saying she’s assaulted them.”

“Bob…. thanks. I thought…”

“I’d fire you? I know I may not look like it now, but I was quite a looker back in the day. You think I never caught any eyes or wandering hands? I don’t have much, but my company and dignity are two things that can’t be bought. Well. Company might be bought if it was a really good offer…” He gave that jolly laugh of his again. “See you Monday, mandatory meeting.” And hung up, just like that, no problem.

Jungkook wanted to weep. He’d had enough overbearing, shitty bosses to know Bob was a real one. Not only was he not fired, he had a new schedule now. No Mrs. Pender. No Mr. Birch. No… Mrs. Birch. Which was for the best. It was. It was for the best that he wouldn’t see her again as she debated whether to stay with her shithead husband or go through probably a messy divorce… Yep. For the best. Not his business. He was just the poolboy, remember?

As relief surged through him, Jungkook took hold of Max, rolled onto his back and propped his nephew on his feet to airplane him. Max shrieked with delight; this had been one of his favorite games since he was little.

“Wait, you didn’t just eat, right? No spitting up on me, ok? Hurray, airplane Max!” Jungkook cheered, doing leg lifts with him because if he couldn’t make it to the gym or beach, might as well get some fitness in before their jaunt around the neighborhood. Jungkook was so relieved, he had the energy for adventure.

“Hey, maybe let’s head to the beach after all. You want to? You want to see your uncles and some crabs? You want to be a surfer baby? Yeah, let’s do it.”

January

Grace let out a sigh of relief when she stepped out of the terminal at LAX and felt warmth finally seep back into her bones. Seeing her family for Christmas had been nice, but she was glad to be away from Missouri’s brutal snow and windchill. 

Just about the whole extended family had gathered, which was rare these days. Sure, she would have preferred spending the holiday with only her immediate family in Chicago, but maybe it had been better this way. It had meant more options for distraction every time someone tried to bring up her divorce, and fewer opportunities for one on one time that might lead to inescapable questions. Of course everyone had wanted to talk about it. It wasn’t a thing anyone in their family had done before. Ever. Her extended family’s horrific responses a constant reminder of that fact, everything ranging from aren’t you embarrassed for people to know your marriage failed? To well what was going on at home? Men cheat when something is wrong at home and that’s the wife’s domain to keep happy. She found herself wishing her family would just go back to making subtle digs about her weight and diet like they usually did. Not that they missed an opportunity to warn her to cut back on the stress eating and take up some activity, no need to let herself go. 

Her immediate family… well, they seemed to be following her lead in just not talking about it at all. That was for the best. Even if some small part of her was desperate to talk to anyone except her attorney about it because fucking hell it was miserable! 

She checked her email as she waited for a cab, fully expecting an email from Lidiya with some new bullshit Tim was trying to pull. Mediation was not going well, despite the ironclad prenup. Tim wanted to fight her on everything, and dragged his feet about the information he was required to share, and kept trying to find bullshit “leads” to chase down like he was a real detective. She couldn’t fathom what his play was: this was only going to end in divorce, and he was going to exhaust his finances long before she did hers. Lidiya had suggested he was hoping to burn through their cash without understanding that the court could require him to pay her legal fees alongside his even if he didn’t have the cash at the moment.

But now that the blinders were off, Grace had a new theory. She thought Tim might just not truly understand how money worked. Just like he hadn’t seemed to understand how their prenup worked, or how a marriage vow worked, or a home security system account, and certainly not how she worked. He’d made clear at every turn that he expected her to change her mind and realize she was making a mistake. Maybe that was truly the reason he was making this so miserable, to “give her time” to realize she was wrong.

No emails had come from Lidiya during her flight. No contact from Tim, either, which she carefully documented. Every text, every phone call, every “drop by” her rental condo to “give her stuff” after he’d somehow found out her new place. It wasn’t illegal to go near her, since she really had no grounds for a restraining order, but it was definitely annoying and stupid, clearly just an excuse to see what she was doing, or maybe as an intimidation tactic.. Grace suspected he was hoping she was having men over so he could try to counter that she had been unfaithful as well. 

Part of her wished she had. As she watched the city pass outside the window, buildings spreading further apart and climbing into the multistories of wealthier neighborhoods of Santa Monica, Grace found herself again fantasizing about the petty things she’d rather be doing than fighting Tim in court. How delicious would it have been to be the one who cheated on him? To get her world rocked by someone else and then have Tim discover it and hurt as deeply as she did. Some hot young successful man Tim could never hope to compete with. A guy even came to mind, that art collector, Namjoon Kim. Intelligent, sophisticated, successful, a total hottie, and Tim hated him. He’d be perfect. How beautiful to get some sort of justice. 

But there was no real justice to be got and she was not actually going to pursue something with the mild-mannered guy, especially not as vengeance against her ex. Hopefully she’d get the house, that might be a small justice. She loved that house. In fact, her mother had pulled her aside and offered to help buy the house out from Tim if she needed the money for it. It was the only reference to the whole thing her mom had made, and kindly meant, though Grace wasn’t sure that she wanted to co-own her own home with her mother. But it might be the only way… 

As tempted as she was to drive by the house now, she worried Tim would be there. Possibly with someone. She didn’t want to let on that she really wanted the house or he’d obviously make it impossible. She tried to make it sound like she intended to stay permanently in the furnished condo she was renting. It was nice! But it felt nothing like a home.

Maybe she should get a pet? The thought struck her as she walked through the door. She could. Her family growing up always had dogs but she’d wanted a cat for as long as she could remember. Tim liked to say he was allergic but really he just didn’t like animals –which in hindsight ought to have been a warning sign. Not for the first time, Grace considered all the warning signs she had ignored. The rosy glasses of love really were more like blinders.

Grace set about unpacking her bags. Unpacking was obviously the worst part of travel and she usually procrastinated it but there was nothing else to take her time right now. She didn’t have a single active real estate client at the moment, no houses to stage or sell, and she enforced a strict “no paperwork” policy during her holidays. There weren’t any tv shows or movies she felt like watching, and she’d just sat on the plane for hours anyway, so not in the mood for reading either. Her fitness classes had already passed for the day and she hadn’t signed up for a general gym membership, though it had been on her to-do list because this condo complex didn’t have its own –one of several compromises she had made just to find somewhere fast. 

God, do I really not have any hobbies? Grace collapsed across her bed and stared at the ceiling. That felt like a failure to her. She came from a family of always-doing-somethings. Hunting, riding, jet-setting, painting, hosting, visiting, gambling, taking up whatever club sport or craft struck a fancy and then abandoning it when it no longer served. Grace had ribbons from a half dozen sports lined up like a museum in the bedroom her parents still kept for her at their house but she didn’t fence anymore, no pool, no horse. It had been nice to ride again in Missouri.

She pursed her lips and considered tennis. She’d loved tennis. Hadn’t played it in a while, because she and Tim used to do that together and then he got too busy working –and fucking, probably. A game of tennis actually sounded good right now, without Tim. 

But it would require inviting someone, and Grace didn’t even bother to pick up her phone to consider it. She had always thought of herself as adequately social, she had plenty of “friends,” but going through this divorce had made her question everything she’d hinged on that word. After overhearing the gossip about herself at the third party she had attended without her husband, she had decided to take a break from the social scene —which would inevitably lead to more gossip. It felt like letting the rumor mill win, but what was she supposed to do, clink a spoon against a champagne glass and confirm that yes, she was divorcing, because her husband had fucked around and she wasn’t wiling to overlook it? All these adequately-married couples she’d thought were her friends for years only asked after her to try and get the dirt on why her marriage failed. They expected her to be ashamed for the wrong reasons. She didn’t want to admit she hadn’t been enough, hadn’t been right for her husband; they wanted her to realize how stupid she was to let a stable-earner, social-charmer like Tim go. What was she going to do now, be alone? Boys will be boys. Just forgive him! 

A few people had reached out in ways that felt sincere. Megan blew her phone up every couple of weeks when she went for brunch with “the girls.” Eva from the club had invited her to check out the new gallery opening she patronized, which seemed thoughtful and not geared towards gossip or lecture. Stephanie, who Grace had known since they were girls and had moved to LA only a couple years before, just sent condolences and suggested a girl spa-weekend/ski trip “without the boys.” Kindly meant, even if it revealed the rumor mill had reached her; Stephanie was a different social circle than the Santa Monica club, but Grace hadn’t told her about the divorce.

Grace had brushed everyone off. As she and Tim warred over who would “keep” which “friend” group, Grace found herself doubting who she could trust. Abigail Pender, after hosting one of the parties Grace attended, apparently reported Grace’s presence to Tim, and afterwards she’d received a scathing voicemail from him saying he had known the Penders longer so she shouldn’t go to their parties anymore. Even though he hadn’t gone! And maybe he’d known them longer, having met Mark Pender on a golf green, but she was the one who’d put forth the effort to build and maintain the friendship –mainly because he thought Mark could be a useful friend for him, business-wise. She’d done that with all of them! Tim had always been happy to carry a case of beer to a cookout, or fire up their own grill, but she was the one who planned the events, bought the meat and beer, made sure everyone was having a good time, followed up for the lunches and fishing trips and whatever else got mentioned to make sure these things actually happened.  

All that effort and Grace felt like she’d lost it all. Now she finally began to understand the warning her mother had given when Grace had finally called home to say she was divorcing: “Divorce is like burning the house down and you’re still in it, Grace. Really think about this.”

Would she have done anything differently? She couldn’t say. But she did know it was really fucking lonely now, not knowing who were actually her friends. She missed her house. And she felt pathetic, lying there on her bed, not sure what to do with her time. Tim didn’t own her hobbies, so why couldn’t she think of any? She’d been putting so much energy into her marriage and the social network Tim required to feel secure and connected and successful.

Damn, did that make her as bad as everyone else? But the social networks were just like that. Sometimes you genuinely like the people you invited to dinner and other times it was because there was some business or family connection, or potential, or some unspoken duty to be friends because your distant cousin had married the niece of their best friend. 

Now Grace had failed the social contract by leaving her two-timing (well, at least four-timing) husband and she didn’t want to hear about it anymore. She didn’t trust anyone. She didn’t want to risk getting asked about it more, as if it was a news headline that affected them all but not personally or emotionally. She was very personally and emotionally affected! Didn’t anyone want to talk to her about something else? Was poor divorced woman all they saw when they looked at her now? She had been someone before her marriage, and during her marriage, and she would be someone again soon! 

Once she figured out what she actually liked without Tim’s opinion weighing on her shoulder.

Once she discovered which foods she actually liked instead of the ones they’d ordered just because he did.

Once she figured out how to reclaim her social life from that thieving new-money bastard.

Once she could find a place to live that didn’t look so cold and generic and neutral. She knew neutral colors were all the rage now. This was what new money thought elegance looked like, she’d heard that plenty of times from her mother. 

Ugh, what did Grace like? What did she want to do?

Grace wanted….

Grace liked….

Grace didn’t want to be in bed right now, so she showered and changed clothes to get the smell of travel off. And she walked to get a coffee from down the street just to be among Californians again. 

Then, on an impulse she decided to give into, Grace drove to the animal shelter. It was almost shockingly easy to fill out the paperwork. She didn’t know whether her rental allowed pets but didn’t care, she put her address as the house she was determined to move back into once mediation granted it to her. She googled a vet reference on the way, assuming they wouldn’t check –they didn’t– and listed her sister as her personal reference, assuming they wouldn’t call –they didn’t. 

“Shouldn’t they make it harder to adopt?” she mused on the way home, carrier wedged into the front seat beside her, back seat packed with a splurge worthy of her sister’s shopping habits. 

Foam said nothing, just peered through the mesh with the big eyes that took up an odd amount of his face, one ear flicking. The nub of his other ear swiveled when she turned the car. 

“Almost home,” she said. Suddenly Foam let out a high-pitched yeowl and turned a somersault in his carrier, then curled up in the back. “Sh sh sh, almost home.”

The narration wasn’t important; deaf little Foam couldn’t hear her anyway, but that hadn’t stopped her from talking to him at the adoption center and it wouldn’t stop her now as she hauled the carrier and bags into the condo. She would order a cat tree for him, and a better scratching post, and whatever else struck her fancy, but at least for now he had bedding and food and toys and treats to mark this completely new chapter of his life. From kill shelter to rescue agency and now to life with Grace, she hoped this was going to be a better future for both of them.

As soon as he was out of the carrier, he climbed her like a tree; she flinched at the pinpricks of his claws until he’d reached her shoulder, trying to nestle himself onto her chest like he had at the center. That’s when she’d been a goner. He couldn’t hear her but he could feel the vibrations of her speech and had purred and nuzzled beneath her chin and really Grace had almost broken down in the room as she stroked his gray and white fur. The rescue thought he might be a Singapura-American shorthair mix but Grace couldn’t care less what he was. No one wanted this beat up scrawny deaf kitty, and Tim hadn’t wanted her. 

“Fuck Tim, you’re all I need,” she beamed, arms around Foam as she swayed. 

Apparently he didn’t even need a period to warm up to her, which would have been understandable. She would never know what his life had been like in the five years before he’d got to her, but that didn’t matter either. Suddenly the future looked so much better; already Grace was thrilled to hear the padding of little feet as Foam explored his new home. He shadowed her as she did a pass to make sure there wasn’t anything obviously dangerous for a cat and put on some music and grabbed her laptop to read more about cat ownership. She wondered if Foam would be the kind of cat who’d be happy hiking on a leash or in a backpack…

She’d always wanted a cat and now she had a perfect one. Maybe building the life she wanted, only for herself, wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

March

A lot of people kept their pools open year-round, but there were still enough to closed them for the winter that March always saw a surge in business. Jungkook had spent the winter working mostly on commercial properties, which was stable and all, but he was glad to see his schedule shift back towards more private residences. Not that he liked dealing with snotty rich people, but there were plenty of middle class families too who didn’t treat him like garbage. And hey, maybe his ego could use a little stoking from the non-handsy variety of women, just the ones who admired and flirted a little, because winter had not been kind to him in the dating sphere. Teona had come back into his life for a whole month before deciding he still hadn’t grown up enough. He’d had a string of dates that he shelled out good money for only to find himself ghosted or even blocked afterwards. When he’d drunkenly demanded of Jimin “is it me? Am I a creep?” his friends had taken the shit out of him a little too well. He was still bothered not to know whether they were just teasing or really did think he was a fuckboy.

The tide was out on dating and Jungkook saw spring as a chance to refocus on work and surfing and the band and let the universe steer his dating life for a while. Probably straight into a wall, but if he was going to end up there anyway, he might as well blame it on the universe. 

“You’re hot but you don’t have any substance,” he murmured, repeating the words his latest date via an app had provided when he asked if there was any particular reason she didn’t want a second date. He’d liked her. He had thought the question would reflect well on him, and anticipated her answer being something like oh the sparks just weren’t there or you’re great but I realized I just don’t have time for a relationship right now. Maybe even I realized I was going to fall too hard and fast for you, it scared me. Nope. Hot but no substance.

What did that even mean? Jungkook had so much substance! He had hobbies and interests! He cared about his family! He was good with babies! He played the guitar and drums and sang and worked out and he could cook. He had a stable job and only played a reasonable amount of video games and he knew how to listen. Wasn’t that enough?! What else did women want??

He was still grumbling to himself as he parked at the Cool Pool Inc. building to confirm his schedule and grab a company truck for the day. Bob had sent them out the night before, but Jungkook had a few questions. Namely, about the typo on his schedule regarding the Birches.

“Huh? The Birches?” Bob finally said, looking up from his computer on the third repeat. “Oh, you’ve still got the house but it’s not the Birches anymore. Didn’t you look at the addresses?”

“Yeah but it says the Hessers. Did you mix up the address?”

“No. They bought the place, Birches don’t live there anymore and wherever they moved, I dunno, they aren’t using us anymore.”

Jungkook’s brow lowered in thought. That couldn’t be right. Granted, maybe there weren’t Birches anymore if Mrs. Birch-or-whatever-her-name-was-now had gotten her head on straight and left that twichy-dicked corn chip. He looked at his list of names again but didn’t see her name listed anywhere.

“Maybe they changed their name,” Jungkook suggested. “Or I mean, she did. Did we get any new customers from another address with the first name… Cornelia?” It was just a name, but he felt wrong to say it, like he wasn’t supposed to know, even though it had always been written on his schedule. Hers had been the primary name on the account: Cornelia Birch, even though she had introduced herself to him as “Grace” that first time he’d cleaned for them. It had made sense to him, in a way, that she wouldn’t give her real name to be used casually by a contractor. And ‘Mrs. Birch’ had felt like the proper way to call her anyway –in the beginning because that’s just a thing he did, to charm the rich white ladies with his manners, but later because calling her by her name would have felt intimate or wrong. They weren’t on the same level. She was older and rich and he would just have felt weird about it, ok? Calling her by her first name or a nickname, like they were casual friends. Besides, was she really called Cornelia? That was such an old lady name… He kind of liked that about her though. She had a weird name, and people always thought his name was weird too. 

Bob’s eyebrows lifted. He smacked his lips and glanced at the computer as if going to check but then answered without checking, 

“Nope, no new Cornelia anything. Why, you looking for her?”

“No,” Jungkook quickly assured him. “Just… you know, she’s the one who was so serious about their pool, just wanted to know if she closed the account or just moved to a new house–”

“And changed her name?”

Jungkook shrugged, “I dunno, divorces happen…”

“Or you want to know if Timothy Birch’s calls complaining about you cost us an account?” Bob countered, like he could see it all before him. 

“It wasn’t my fault he complained about me, he was just like that. I hope for her sake, she did leave his ass, he was an asshole.”

Bob chuckled at this show of passion and shook his head, lecturing, “Marriages are a complicated thing, son. Maybe you’ll get it someday. But no, no Timothys, Cornelias, or Graces, Birch or otherwise.” He was already feeling nervous that Bob would think he’d been involved as much as he had been though and didn’t want to dig in more.

“Ok,” Jungkook shrugged. “I got my schedule then. See ya, boss.”

“Keep it fresh, JK,” Bob said, one of the phrases the younger employees had taught him. He was a good one, that Bob. Jungkook waved over his shoulder as he grabbed the keys to his truck to head out.

And yet, he couldn’t shake the suspicion from his mind. So… did that mean Mrs. Birch and Slim-Jim Dick had divorced? Or just moved somewhere else? He decided to hit up the new owners of that residence first, but still half expected it to be one of the Birches up until he knocked on the front door to introduce himself. 

“Great,” the man, Adam Hesser, greeted him with a firm handshake. “We were told by the previous owners your company had been managing the pool so I take it you know what to do? We’re going to keep it open year-round so just keep it nice, our kids will use it a lot. Let me know if you need anything.”

Jungkook nodded, “Yeah yeah, for sure, man. Hey, so you spoke to the previous owners? Which one? Did they say where they were moving?”

“No, I didn’t really, they just had a list of previous contractors.”

“Ah, ok. I’m glad they recommended us. I’ll keep it looking good, head on back on there now. Nice to meet you, Mr. Hesser.”

Gone. That made Jungkook think they’d divorced although he couldn’t be sure. Maybe the Birches were the kind of people who’d decide they had to do everything and anything to save their marriage and they’d moved to Spain or something. Even if they’d divorced, Mrs. Birch might have moved somewhere else. Maybe she wasn’t even in the area anymore, or maybe she didn’t have a pool, which he’d feel sad for her about since she seemed to like it. 

Or maybe she did and had just decided to use a different pool cleaning service.

“Wouldn’t that be fucked up?” Jungkook demanded, leaning in close to make sure his buddies heard him over the noisy bar. Taehyung, Jimin, Hoseok, and Soyoon circled the high-top. Taro was here somewhere too, probably networking. Yoongi had already bailed, claiming he had work early but probably just to get away from the place. He only really hung out at bars if there was music he wanted to catch, and even then bounced the second the bands were done. 

“Uh… yeah,” Jimin nodded, but he had a look like he didn’t understand why.

“Because I was great at what I did,” Jungkook insisted. “I kept the pool looking great so if she –if they have a new pool and decided to use someone else instead, it would be personal, right? Because I was the best professionally.”

“Didn’t you have a fight with her in her backyard about whether she ought to divorce her husband?” Soyoon asked. Jungkook glared. Hard. He had told her that in drunken confidence and of course she had then casually mentioned it to everyone else without a second thought. 

“Yeah, kinda weird,” Taehyung grimaced. “Almost as weird as giving her a video of her husband fucking another woman that you filmed through their window…”

“Hey!”

Jimin came to his defense, insisting, “It’s because he was emotionally compromised.” Wait, that wasn’t the defense Jungkook had hoped for.

“The fuck does that even mean?” Jungkook scowled.

“Aw, it’s because you always had a crush on her, right?” Hoseok asked, his gaze sliding to Jimin as if to confirm this, or make sure it was ok to say. It wasn’t!

“Not in a real way,” Jungkook defended. “Just in like a… a Stacy’s Mom kind of way.”

“That song is fucked up,” Soyoon huffed. “If you reversed the genders, that would be a felony.”

“Sex with a minor is still a felony but they didn’t have sex,” Taehyung countered. “He was just creeping.”

Jimin made a face and admitted, “Really, you think it was just the guy being horny for her? I mean she came out in a towel while he was mowing the lawn, right? No one is surprised by a lawnmower. She knew he was out there.”

“Do you ever see people do things like that when you’re working?” Hoseok asked Jungkook with open curiosity. “Like in just a towel or–”

“Or fucking someone else in the kitchen?” Jimin laughed and threw his arm around Hoseok’s shoulder. “Yeah, he sees it all!”

Jungkook made a face and admitted, “Yeah, I see the towel thing happen.”

“Yeah and is it ever an accident?” Soyoon demanded.

Mrs. Birch didn’t mean to see me when she came up from the home gym in her sports bra. He kept that memory to himself, since these fuckers couldn’t hold anything sacred.

“Eh, sometimes,” he decided. “Sometimes it’s on purpose, but other times it’s just because they just don’t give a shit about you. Like, you’re not even a real human so what do they care if you see them in their towel? But other times yeah it’s on purpose.”

“What’s that show… Desperate Housewives? Wasn’t someone fucking a poolboy in that? It probably gave all the old ladies ideas.”

“Is that show even still on? That’s really old. My mom watched that.”

They looked at Jungkook, who had to explain, “Uh… I don’t… know? I don’t watch that shit.”

“Oh, you know what show I just saw that was great…” Taehyung said, changing the subject further away from what Jungkook had wanted to do: complain about his lack of closure on the Birches.

He grabbed another beer and pretended to follow along, but mostly he was just thinking about how he regretted bailing on those final two weeks of cleaning at the Birches. If he’d gone, maybe he would know what was going on with them, or where they’d gone. It wasn’t like he expected anyone to leave him a note, but it felt wrong for them to just disappear. It felt… bad. He felt bad. He was the one who had sent the tape and while he was sure it had been the right thing to do, he would like to know that was true from Mrs. Birch-called-something-else telling him how grateful she was. Cornelia. Fucking Cornelia. Maybe that was another reason he always called her Mrs. Birch, he just couldn’t bring himself to call her Cornelia. Or Grace, a nickname, which felt even more intimate?! Cornelia wasn’t a name you could say as you fucked a woman slowly against the side of the pool, and Grace was so short… Gracie might make for a good–

Fuck! Abort! Too much beer! Fuck, he was horny, that was all. It wasn’t about her, he’d just crossed the streams of two different thoughts. Never cross streams.

Besides, now he’d never call her anything. She hadn’t had the opportunity to tell him she was grateful or even just reassure her by her happiness that he’d done the right thing. Which he had. Even if she had not seemed grateful when they’d fought about it.

Damnit, couldn’t a guy get closure about anything? Sure he’d had a fantasy crush about her but he was a good guy, he also just wanted to know that she was happy and doing well. Maybe he could google her…

He pulled out his phone and wandered off, mumbling about getting another beer so no one would see his phone screen as he typed in Cornelia Birch. 

A shocking number of results came back. He leaned against the bar and scrolled in disbelief, but the links were all to dense text webpages and he had drunk enough that the letters looked blurry and he didn’t feel like reading a lot right now. Besides, he couldn’t tell if the Cornelia Birch who sat on art boards and was a part of some trust or whatever was her or if it was a common rich white lady name. There were no pictures. Except for a table sold by Wayfair, the “Cornelia,” part of the Birch Lane furniture line. That was kinda funny. White ladies and high end furniture lines, that made sense. He started to type in Grace Birch to see if that got different results, just in case she actually did use that as more than a name to give poor peasants so they wouldn’t sully her proper dignified name when–

“Excuse me, are you ordering or…?” He looked up at the hand on his arm, and the owner of the hand: a pretty blond, tanned and green-eyed.

“Oh, yeah sorry, am I in your way?” He scooted to the side and she pressed in. The bartenders had ignored him but came right over for her. She surprised him by motioning for him to tell his order to.

“Can’t believe they make you wait here,” she said to him.

“You waited ten seconds…”

“No, I mean you. If you can’t get a drink then I don’t get it.”

Jungkook was tipsy and confused. But he nodded and didn’t point out he’d been on his phone and also that he wasn’t sure he’d wanted another beer anyway. But one was brought, and on a whim, he told the bartender to put hers on his tab too. 

“You don’t have a tab open,” the bartender pointed out. Which was annoying because they knew him here and that he was good for it. It embarrassed him in front of the girl. He slid his card over and pretended to be smooth about it.

“Thanks for the drink,” she beamed at him. “I’m Mary.”

“Another old lady name…”

“What?”

“Nothing, so, you new around here? Don’t think I’ve seen you before.”

“You know everyone who comes here?” she teased.

“Just about. Except the tourists. You wouldn’t happen to be one of those, would you?”

“No. I live here, I just never come to this part of town.”

He nudged her closer, away from someone trying to get by, as he pressed, “Then what made you come tonight?”

“My girl friend had a date and wanted  a backup, you know? But apparently that went well because she already left.”

“Wait… so your girl space friend, right? Not your girlfriend?”

“What?”

Jungkook decided she must not have a girlfriend, he was just confusing them both. 

“So… are you leaving then?”

“No. Why, you want me to go?” she laughed.

“Nah. Just checking.” He chugged half his beer to find some liquid courage. He couldn’t believe his luck. A random girl hitting on him in the bar? Great. Perfect thing to distract him from the fact he’d never know what happened to Mrs. Birch. Besides, so what? It didn’t matter. She was just some lady he cleaned pools for.

“So what do you do?” Mary asked him.

“I’m a pool technician,” he answered. “And I also teach surf and work as a lifeguard sometimes.”

“Ah, that explains the muscles. I can tell you’re fit.”

“I drum too. It’s a pretty good workout, no one ever realizes that.”

“Yeah, full body. I don’t play but I mean, I’ve seen people drum.”

He grinned. Yeah, she was into him. 

“What about you?”

“Oh, I’m a senior at USC.” 

Jungkook swallowed hard and drank more beer to give himself time to count. Senior… so she was twenty? Twenty one? Twenty two at most probably. He was twenty-six, that wasn’t… too bad…

“What’s that look?” she laughed.

“You’re young.”

“What?! How old are you?”

“Twenty-six.”

“What? I thought you were like, my age,” she laughed. “I’m twenty one.”

He tsked and shook his head, trying not to smile and ruin the joke as he teased, “A baby.”

“Hey, you’re the one with the baby face.” Ah, he kinda hated it when girls said that, even if he knew it was true. 

“Because I’m Asian?”

“What?!” she gasped. “Oh my god! I would never say that! I didn’t mean it like that!”

“I’m kidding. I know.”

“Oh my god, I am not like that. I don’t care who or what someone is, if they’re hot, they’re hot.” She was clearly really offended by his joke, or maybe too drunk to be calm about anything.

He nudged her and prompted, “So you think I’m hot?”

Within an hour he knew she did. She’d said it enough times, her nails digging into his chest and abs as she bounced on his dick, the springs of his mattress screaming beneath them. He grabbed her hips and pulled her down, eyes slitted so he could just make out the circles of her nipples and the pink folds of her pussy around his girth. She was thin and perky and had an absurd bikini tan despite admitting she never went to the beach. Total California girl in the purchased, store-bought way. 

Which was fine by him. She could be from California or New York or Florida or Timbuktu for all he cared right now. Her energy was great; his drunk brain felt like a tornado of pleasure touched down where her body stroked his.

“We’re going to break your bed,” she giggled.

“Nah, I would have broken it by now.”

“Oh my god, you’re a dick,” she giggled, and slapped him on the face. He didn’t love that but it wasn’t hard enough to hurt. It wasn’t like a dealbreaker or anything. He definitely wasn’t going to pull out for that. It just seemed wrong for this younger girl to do something like that in sex. If someone was going to slap him… ah, Mrs. Birch could slap him. He thought about it with a grin, sinking into the alcohol-logged fantasy he was drunk enough not to stop this time. He let his hands flop out and spread his legs and surrendered. Mrs. Birch could do whatever she wanted to him. She had that fit body but with way more curves than Mary. Small tits were fine but Mrs. Birch’s were bigger, they’d bounce. She had some jiggle to her thighs. If he grabbed her by the ass, he’d get at least a handful. Mary’s assbones were pulverizing his thighs. But Mrs. Birch in that white swimsuit, maybe a size smaller so her body started busting out of it…

Jungkook grabbed Mary’s hips and nutted pretty quickly after that, wordless at the rush of pleasure as a mental image of Mrs. Birch with swollen nipples straining against a white wet suit filled his head in the moments before it all went blank. He rolled Mary onto her back and got in a final stroke and gasped for breath back into his lungs. When she pushed against his chest to get him to sit up, he sat there just gasping while her eyes and hand roamed his stomach, her other hand rubbing herself furiously. He watched with the kind of fascination he always had for a woman cumming: it was a beautiful thing no matter who the woman was. This fake-beach babe looked hot as hell spasming around his spent dick and he made sure to tell her so as he gripped the condom and eased himself out of her.

“You think so?” she taunted. “Because your eyes were closed a lot.”

“Nah, just hard to keep ‘em open when it felt so good,” he assured her. “Trust me, I was looking.” She’d rolled onto her side and he smacked her ass.

“Ouch, too hard,” she complained with a giggle. And reached behind him for the blunt she’d pulled out earlier but abandoned when he’d pulled her shirt off. 

He padded to the bathroom to rinse off and toss the condom, then accepted the blunt when she handed it to him, one arm crooked behind his head in absolute relaxation. Balls empty, brain empty, best night.

She was just nice to him, that’s why he wanted to know whatever happened to Mrs. Birch. Not enough he’d actually look through those google search results or anything. He was just curious. He just wanted closure because she’d been nice to him before and he didn’t feel great that the last time he’d ever see her, they’d had a fight. Hopefully by now she had realized he was right.

“Hey,” he said after blowing smoke towards the ceiling. “If you were married and your husband cheated on you, you’d fucking divorce him, right?”

“Geez, proposing to me already?” she giggled and took the blunt back. 

“No, I’m just saying, that’s what you do, right?”

Mary nodded emphatically, “Yeah, this is the 21st century, no woman should stay with a cheating piece of shit.”

“That’s what I’m saying. You get it.”

“Oh my god… you aren’t married or anything, right?”

Jungkook laughed loud and gestured, crying, “You saw my house! I live with a bunch of dudes!”

“Oh. Right. I wasn’t really thinking about anything like that.”

“Just thinking about my dick?” he grinned.

“Yeah, and how bad I wanted it,” she agreed, rolling against his arm. “And it did not disappoint.”

“See? That’s what I’m saying,” he said again. “You get it.”

“Yeah, I got it good.” Just as Jungkook started to gloat, she asked, “Hey, you got anything harder than this?”

“Than… what?”

“Than pot.”

“No. Take it from your elders, don’t do anything harder than pot,” he snorted. Just like that, warm cozy fantasy of success with Mary started to crumble. Ugh. What was he even doing with a college-age girl he picked up in a bar? One clearly surfing for dick and apparently coke too?

No. No regrets. Not while his dick was still twitching with satisfaction.

“You’re not my dad,” she snickered, before whispering into his ear, “Unless you want me to call you ‘daddy.’”

“You call me daddy, I’m going to spank you a lot harder than that,” he warned. Honestly, he wasn’t really into the name but he also didn’t want to chase her off with a denial. Not when he felt this good. Whatever, he could play along. He could stomach being daddy for another round…

She handed him the blunt and watched him; he felt her gaze even with his eyes closed in the low light.

“Are you thinking about someone else?” she asked. “Who were you talking about? Someone cheated on who? Your sister or something?”

He nearly choked as he sat up and insisted, “Yeah I am not thinking about my sisters while I’m fucking.” That made her laugh harder. She choked too, coughing hard as she took the blunt back to set in the bowl on his nightstand. 

“Then who?”

“Nobody. I just knew you’d understand.”

“Yeah, I’m great like that. Hey, can you spot me money for a lyft back home?”

“Just spend the night, I don’t mind.”

“.... no thanks. You’ve got like a lot of laundry in here…”

“Yeah, tomorrow is laundry day,” he lied, but her criticism made him run a little colder.

“Yeah it was just an observation. I have class early though I gotta go.”

He sighed and pushed himself out of bed to see what cash he had. Only a twenty, which she gladly took before ordering a car that would go on her card anyway. Damn college girls. He got her a glass of water and made sure she got in the car ok before returning to his room. There wasn’t that much laundry in his room. Maybe he’d been in a hurry changing between surfing and work and going out but so what? He hadn’t expected to bring someone back tonight. If she was so particular they could have gone to her place. She probably had laundry everywhere too.

Dizzy now between the pot and alcohol, Jungkook realized with regret there was no way he’d drag himself out of bed in time to catch the morning surf. He had lifeguard duty and family stuff this weekend too, and band practice Sunday, so tomorrow morning was his only chance. And now Mrs. Birch was gone and he had missed the last two cleanings at her place because he’d been too sulky about her being mad at him. He’d fucked, that was great, his balls were drained, but at what cost? Was it really worth it? Was something wrong with Jungkook to wonder if maybe other things in life were even better than sex–

Wait, Mary had early classes on a Saturday!?

Chapter Two | Masterlist | Chapter Three

[unabashegirl]

Enticing 31 (HS)

Summary: Harry is a young billionaire and CEO of his own company. He mostly keeps to himself, he is stern and very meticulous when it comes to business. He also likes to keep his personal life very private for the sake of his newly born son Oliver Styles. It isn't until he meets Y/N Y/L/N that everything changes. She becomes his new nanny after his previous one quits due to personal reasons. She is young, caring, and sweet. Will they ignore their feelings? Will Harry's girlfriend accept their love and leave them? Will she be able to cope with his busy agenda? What about Oliver's mother? Where is she? Who is she?

masterlist

word count: 1.5K

It was late in the afternoon. Harry was still in his office. He had planned to leave earlier, but as always issues had surfaced in the office.

“This is wrong” Harry exhaled as he read over the contract that had been drafted. He ran his hand across his prickly face. He was still getting used to the new sensation. At first, it was because he was too depressed to shave. He was not motivated to get ready or look sharp.

A few weeks ago, Harry had looked at himself in the mirror and hadn’t been able to recognize himself.  His life was a mess. His routine had gone out the window and the company was paying for his absence. Then, Harry realized that she was never coming back. He realized that he needed to accept it. He needed to accept that he had lost her forever. Harry allowed himself a few more minutes to mourn their relationship before getting into the shower and putting on a new suit.

“What is William thinking? Has he gone over this?” Harry asked Andrew as he flipped through the pages. William’s company had redacted the contract and all the information was mismatched to what they had previously discussed at a meeting. Harry couldn’t sign it.

“I believe he has” Andrew answered as he scrolled down the email to which the document had been attached to. The email had been sent from William’s email and had been signed already on his behalf.

“Get me a car” Harry ordered.

“But sir, you have a meeting scheduled in twenty minutes” Andrew reminded him, to which Harry brushed off with his hand.

“I am sure they can wait for me. I’ll be very quick. I just need to discuss this with him” Harry got up from the seat and button his blazer before slipping on his trench coat. “Tell them that I had another meeting, and it is running late. Call me when they all get settled in the conference room”.

“Yes sir” Andrew nodded as he opened the door for him. “Would you like me to order dinner?” He could tell that they would be working until late. Harry had missed a lot. There was multiple unfinished business, that he had to go through.

Andrew was only glad to see him out of his apartment. Andrew was sad to know that he had given up on Y/N. However, he could understand why he had decided to let her go. Harry had a son and a company with hundredths of employees, and he needed to move on. He had a bunch of people to take care of and the thought of her obstructed him from fulfilling his duties.  He obviously looked different, but it suited him. The slight beard made him look much older and serious, but there wasn’t anything that Harry couldn’t pull off. He was an attractive man and there was no denying it.

“That would be wonderful. Order something for yourself too” Harry said as he left.

William’s office was just a few blocks away from Harry’s. Harry could have walked there, but the day was so cold and so rainy that it was the last thing he desired to do. As usual, there were tons of traffic which gave him the opportunity to answer some emails and check up on Oliver and the new nanny through the apartment cameras.

Oliver was sitting in his brand-new highchair while the nanny looked like she was preparing a bottle in the kitchen. Harry decided to not move to the new apartment. He was still paying the rent for it, but he wasn’t ready to move in. He was also not ready to let go of it. Harry knew it was something that he needed to do, but it wasn’t a priority.

“Thank you” He thanked his driver as he got himself out of the car. He made sure that he hadn’t left his phone or the contract before entering the building. “Good morning,” Harry said to the receptionist.

“Mr. Styles! It’s good to see you! We weren’t expecting you” Mia walked up to the phone. “Let me announce you.”

“Something came up. It will only be a few minutes” Mia only nodded and gained him access to the elevators. “Thank you,” he said to her as he walked past security and waited for the elevator. He smiled at her, one last time before getting in.

“What are you doing here?” William questioned him as soon as the doors from the elevator opened on his floor. Mia had called him that he was coming up which had gotten him on his feet right away.

“Came here to talk about the contract that you just sent to me. It’s all badly written” He frowned as he pulled the contract up and handed it to him. “I was just about to sign it when I realized the numbers didn’t match what we had discussed.” William looked over his shoulder and nodded at his words. “What’s going on?” Harry asked confused about his erratic behavior.

“Nothing. Everything is fine” William said as he took the documents. “I’ll look over them. Anything else?”

“No—”

“Alright! I am sure you are busy!” William requested an elevator for Harry.

“William! What the hell is going on with you!” Harry finally exclaimed, “Why are you kicking me out?” He asked as William basically pushed him into the elevator.

Before any of them could share any other words. The clicking of a pair of heels interrupted them. It was Y/N, walking down the hallway and on her way to her office, holding a fresh cup of coffee. She wore a tight dress that showed the few months of pregnancy that she had experienced on her own.

“Y/N?” Harry asked as he pushed himself away from William. Her expression of utter shock, and her watery eyes, let Harry know that she wasn’t happy to see him.

“Harry” Her voice broke as she gripped the cup of coffee tighter to her body. “What are you doing here?” She asked as her hands went down to her low abdomen, trying her best to hide her small, but evident bump.

“I came here to talk to William. I didn’t know you were working already” Harry’s eyes move down to her stomach, but quickly move back up to her face. He couldn’t believe his eyes. He exhaled loudly and tried his best not to demand answers. Harry could tell that she was only a few months ahead. “Congratulations”.

“Thank you” She softly smiled at him. Y/N was surprised by his temper and how calm he looked.  She expected him to start yelling and making the floor shake. “It’s good to see you”. She said before she could stop herself.

“You look perfect” He smiled but held his tongue from asking who was the father. She blushed, but still kept her distance. “Can we speak privately? Harry asked noticing the multiple people that were watching their interaction.

“I-I am currently busy. I have a meeting.” Y/N explained, nervous about what he might say to her behind doors.

“I understand. Maybe for dinner?” Harry suggested he could understand that she no longer had the same schedule as before. Y/N was now an executive which meant she was busier than ever.

“Harry. I —” He could tell that she was going to decline his invitation. Therefore, he interrupted her.

“Then schedule me a meeting for tomorrow” he dictated. Y/N tried her best not to smile. “Should I get in contact with your assistant?” Harry asked noticing that he was causing her to smile. The dynamics were now different.

“That would be fine” She nodded, “I’ll see you soon then,” Y/N said just before heading into her office. Her heart was racing, and she needed to decompress. The last thing that she had imagined that she would be doing that day, would be speaking to him.

Harry smiled and asked for the elevator. He no longer needed to speak with William. His day had turned dramatically. He was obviously extremely nervous about what might have been revealed during their meeting. William got into the elevator with him before the doors closed.

“Harry —”

“How long?” He interrupted him.

“Three months or so” Harry hummed and looked down at his watch. “She asked me not to tell you, Harry. She begged and cried”. William explained he knew that he had messed up. William had always claimed that his loyalty always lay with Harry. Unfortunately, his silence proved him otherwise.

“If she is pregnant with my son or daughter, and you hid it from me. I will never forgive you.” Harry said before leaving...

Click below and join our community to continue reading Enticing and/ or Lycan. Check our different tiers one for $3.00 USD or get access to all three series for $5.00 USD.

TAGLIST: @0oolookitsme, @happycupcakeenthusiast, @kennedywxlsh, @hsfics, @stylesbrock, @cuddlingwithharry, @sucker4angstt, @bluemoonedwings, @cherriesrae, @vornilla, @mellamolayla, @harryscurls21, @stilesissaved, @be-with-me-so-happily, @harryssattelitestomper, @jerseygirlinca, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @lomlolivia, @stylesfever, @daphnesutton, @n0vaj3an, @breezykpop

[aurcls]

HSHQTASK059: FAREWELL !

i know i already yapped in the admin post but let me continue <3

1: when did you join ? what made you join ? what do you remember from the plotlines that were current at the time ? where were you in life when you joined and where are you now ?

i joined in 2015 as a high school freshman, jfc ! i don't think there was anything major going on, the rp was very much a rich kids rp so the drama was chill and petty; entertaining but not that deep. one thing that made me join ( aside from my obsession with royals ) was the fact that phoebe tonkin - THE most popular fc at the time - was up for grabs. i thought it was meant to be !

2: which characters have you written over the years ?

errrmmm... merjem/kalla, olivier, livia, florencio, alexander, anneli, lixun, nicole, maryam, blazej, definitely some other characters whose names and existence i cannot remember

3: what is your favourite plotline that you've been part of ?

i think this is just nostalgia but i think olivier-viggo-armani-lykke-anton-etc era was my fave. artistically it's very hollow but i think the lightness of it all makes it my favourite. i also sort of view it as a testament of my own naivety and youth. i'm not saying i'm old now but i'm not 17 without a single worry. back then ( because i wasn't busy and i could sat in front of my computer for hours ) the plots moved quickly and the threads were really fun to follow. there weren't that many characters so everyone was, in a way, forced to write with each other so the plotlines were very interactive. i appreciate the organic way things evolved. ( i do have a soft spot for annexei but i think it's mainly bc i admire alexei's characterization so much and elisa's ability to depict depression )

4: what about other people's plotlines ?

i was insanely invested in the zulu conflict of 2020. it had so many moving parts and i think if it had only gotten a chance to evolve even further, it would have been on a whole new level <3

5: who is your favourite character from the ones you've played ? why ? what made you love them ? what made them so fun to write ?

i think nicole or olivier. nicole's plotline was so well defined that it was fun to write her. i loved her relationships and it was interesting to write someone older. i think she's a character i could write a book about but she wasn't the best for an rp setting ? getting a chance to be involved in the english drama was wonderful ! olivier on the other hand... i think he's just a fave because he lets me connect to the old days ? when rp was a top priority and everything was exciting and fun. i don't want this to sound like it isn't that anymore but times were different back then and i don't think it ever felt the same after maybe high school graduation ?

6: if you could relive a plotline, which would it be ?

i think the finale of the english plotline maybe ? or the insanity of the lawn chair thing. possibly the rise of olykke too <3 but honestly i would like to experience all of it again, as cliche as it sounds. i will very think of the nights i stayed up until 4 or 5 am just to write/read the dash. waiting for a reply was such an addictive feeling and idk where i'll find my replacement for it. it really breaks my heart and makes me feel very old to realize that i don't know if i'll experience the excitement again. those sleep-deprived nights were some of my best. i've said "it's just rp" a million times but honestly, rping itself is such an experience and i'm glad i've gotten to get the best version of it.

7: is there a plotline that you'd edit now if you could ?

i think i'd improve the kalla era's germany. i didn't do much with it.

8: what's a plotline you wish you would have been able to finish before closing or just write more of ?

i would have loved to finish aurel x araya story, i mean i can probably still accomplish that but nbskdgbjs there were big plans for the slovakians and it's a shame we never got to write it out on the dash. i think i would have enjoyed writing the inner struggle of blazej. he had a lot of potential but alas, it could not be !

9: what is your favourite ooc memory ?

i have two that stick out but my trip with serre ? we were on my sister's couch writing the stupid lawn chair saga and i think it was the first time in a long time that i had that much fun writing ! the second one would be me visiting evy because it was a surreal experience and i have to admit i was so socially awkward that evy's family probably thinks i'm weird nfgbkdsgbj i just think it's amazing that those two meetings could happen ? prior to hshq, i hadn't really believed in online friendships, everyone felt just too remote ! a special mention goes to this crackthread thing we wrote: link just a random memory though: i remember when we did those feedback surveys. we sorta forgot them but they were so important at that one point. other funny thing is our old adminooc blog. snapchat replaced it and then some years later discord replaced snapchat. we should bring the admin snapchat back btw @armanicatherina & @barbiebraganca

10: where can others find you if they want to get in touch ?

i'll be on discord !!! you can find me on the hshq server ( which we aren't deleting if i can have a say ;) )

11: what else would you like to say ?

i said a lot in the admin post but i actually had to "keep it short" so here i will say so many things that you wish i had edited this. for me rping has been an amazing way to connect with other people, learn about people through writing and to experience emotions that i wouldn't otherwise. some of the words i've read here have managed to capture thoughts that i hadn't been able to put into words and it's been amazing to see how differently people think but also how alike some feelings among different people are. i often try to wrap my head around the fact that this group's been going for eight amazing years. i've gone through a lot in those eight years and the existence of this group has brought me a lot of joy. i am sad to let go of it and i guess i'm in a bit of denial because i keep thinking that 1x1 rping exists and y'know... even if a group doesn't exist, threads can still happen. when i think about hshq and the plotlines i've read and written, one thing really sticks out to me and it's the way we shifted from a p basic rich kids rp into something intricate and sophisticated ( yes, we had a drug related nye event and we've had a fair share of petty fights ). the range of emotions people have been able to write and the psychological work they've done to write a convincing and very realistic humans is something everyone can be proud of. i don't know if i look like a sadist but i was most impressed by the depictions of sadness, guilt and self-loathing. in my opinion it's not easy to write a piece of sad prose without it being a bit melodramatic. aside from hshq's longevity, the most amazing thing has to be everyone's willingness to get involved. the plot drops that i wrote wouldn't have happened without your input and when it got too tough for me to write them myself, y'all stepped up and continued the plotdrops with your newsposts. as an admin, it's been so so so so so awesome that we've been able to put some responsibilities on the members and have you guys perform better than well. i think we did something unique here and i'm so proud of us as a group!!!! i wish i could flex about this irl because hshq's history and way of working is something extraordinary. i really wish i could properly put my love for hshq into words. i don't know how to express its meaning and influence in my life. i feel like it has helped me to improve my writing but more importantly it has taught me a thing of two about empathy <3 i really hope we'll stay in touch and if anyone comes to europe, or more spesifically finland, don't be afraid to message me bc i'd love to meet up !

[mazzystar24]

What do you think of eddie's & maddie's "sibs in law" relationship

Pls expand if u can i love to read your ramblings&thoughts

Aww that’s so sweet I legit am constantly convinced my rambling is annoying but glad to hear someone likes it 🫡 (literally giggling and kicking my feet rn)

Also this I think is the first like proper ask I’ve got 🎉🥳

I have A LOT of thoughts about Eddie and Maddie so you may eat your words a little but it’s fine🤩

Maddie and Eddie for me really deserve more scenes together not just because of their link through buck but through the fact that the writers make very distinctive parallels between Maddie and Eddie and Buck and Chimney.

Lemme explain, Maddie is the carer older sibling who had to step in and be parentified in a way, Eddie’s dad wasn’t around so he was forced to do the same, both of them bottle up their emotions for the sake of the people they love until it comes out in extreme ways and they both struggled with the similar mental health issues, they are both runners in one way or another- Maddie is canonically “the one who leaves” and Eddie left to go to the army at different points of Christopher’s childhood and also when he left to go to dispatch you can also argue that was part of that. Also they both feel a lot of guilt surrounding the fact that they weren’t there for their kids’ babyhood (is that a word? I’m making it one) eventhough in my opinion neither were to blame for their circumstances, both had first marriages that ended badly (understatement for Maddie obviously) and that they have mixed feelings about. Also both of them forgave their parents despite how they wronged them.

The buck and chimney parallels are also unreal but I’ll try to limit myself a little cos that wasn’t the ask, but like they were both the sibling that was unloved and deprived of their parents love they both sought honorary parents in a way (lees for chimney, bobby and Athena for buck obviously), both have the whole 152783 million deaths but always somehow lucky thing going for them, both are very big emotions people, they both struggled to feel seen by past partners, they both had no clue what they were doing and had many different jobs prior to firefighting even both were shown as bartenders as their last jobs before firefighting. Okay I’m cutting myself off - about chimney and buck at least.

But yeah the Maddie and Eddie parallels should make them have at least some scenes together and I feel like they can hit a lot of emotional beats together for scenes well.

Like their personalities and experiences are similar enough that they could be such an iconic duo but too similar to have pulled off a Maddie/Eddie thing like the writers initially planned (let’s all once again thank god for Jennifer love Hewitt🙏🥰) like can you imagine Maddie fresh off the trauma from Doug having to step in and be part of Eddie’s family? Or Eddie’s fighting era or Eddie’s mental breakdown if it was Maddie instead of buck? Like Maddie and Eddie both need a balance of the type of people they are, a yin to their yang (or actually maybe more Yang to their yin 😭😭) and those people are chimney and buck!!!

I also definitely think Maddie knew about buddie since day one like girlie dropped the boy crush comment then the he’s cute followed by buck talking about Eddie not chimney felt like her testing her theory like she legit walked away before he finished talking with this little ‘that’s what I thought skittles squad😌’ look on her face.

I’m not caffeinated enough to think anymore but yes 10000% on board with the Maddie and Eddie siblings in law thing for those reasons and also cos Eddie befriends every woman within 5 minutes of meeting her (unless it’s one of bucks romantic interests😭😭) and yet we haven’t really seen him and Maddie interact, like we’ve had how many buck hospital visits and not one Maddie and Eddie in the waiting room scene?? Rude as hell if you ask me

[eventinelysplayground]

Hi everyone this is my second entry for falling for you by @nightghoul381 and @judejazza. I did IkeVamp this time and I used the prompts sudden downpour and when we are older. If you haven't played Jean's route until at least Chapter 9/10 you won't get one of the prompts but you can still enjoy the story. It also pulls a tiny bit from the Together as One event the game did a few years back (I bought a few in the rerelease) but again not necessary for you to have read it to enjoy the story.

Old Acquaintances

Jean walked along beside the Seine his footsteps slowing as he neared the crowds of people. He stopped and his gaze scanned all around searching for those familiar faces when suddenly he heard a vaguely familiar voice calling out. At first he paid it no attention but as it got closer he turned in its direction.

??: So it is you, bonsoir Monsieur I hope you have been well all these years!

Jean: Saar?

Standing before Jean was not the child he remembered but a now almost young man, he still had the same mess of red hair though and a bright smile. He was accompanied by a young lady.

Saar: You remember me! I thought you'd probably forgotten me since it's been several years. The last time we saw each other was at this very festival actually.

Jean's memory drifted back to that day and all the events that came of it. He shook his head as he pushed those memories aside.

Jean: Yes it was, I remember you telling me how you had been doing and your plans for the future. Have things been going how you wanted them to?

Saar: Ya I'd say even better in some ways actually.

Saar turned his gaze to the young lady with him and gently squeezed her hand.

Saar: I studied really hard at the orphanage for a few years while also learning everything I could about the mines from the miners and foremen. After a few years one of the foremen and his wife took me in and they took really good care of me. I got bigger and stronger and kept learning a whole lot of stuff and went back to the mines and started implementing little things I learned. I also met Amelie last year, she's so sweet and makes me really happy.

Amelie was blushing scarlet while Saar was grinning from ear to ear. Jean chuckled to himself and a small smile crossed his face.

Jean: I am glad you're doing so well Saar, and it is very nice to meet you Mademoiselle.

Amelie: Saar has told me about you before Monsieur and a Mademoiselle, that you were there for him and helped him at the worst time in his life. He's never forgotten your words or kindness to him. Thank you for everything you did for him then.

Jean: It was something I wanted to do, there is no need to thank me.

Saar: Of course there is! Both you and Mademoiselle were so kind to me and helped me a lot but especially you Monsieur, your words meant a lot to me and because of that I've been able to go down the path I have. I always wanted to make not just my parents and adoptive parents proud but also you Monsieur.

Jean was momentarily stunned then he slowly reached out a hand and placed it on Saar's shoulder.

Jean: I can't speak for others but I can imagine that they are very proud of you. From what I see of you today and what you have told me I can say though that I am proud of you.

Saars eyes glistened with forming tears and the young man shook his head to dispel them.

Saar: Thank you Monsieur. What about you though? I hope lots of good things have happened to you, and what about Mademoiselle?

Jean thought back over the last several years since he had seen Saar a calm expression washing over his face.

Jean: Many good things have happened to me and Mad..

Suddenly Jean swayed to the left as an impact hit his right leg. He looked down and smiling up at him was a little girl with dark hair and violet eyes.

Little Girl: Papa Papa here you are! Mama, Wolf and I have been waiting for you. Oh hello Monsieur, Mademoiselle.

The little girl looked at Saar and Amelie bowing her head then Jean scooped her up into his arms.

Jean: I’m sorry to have kept you all waiting Lilly I ran into an old acquaintance of your Mamas and mine.

Saar: Wow Monsieur you married Mademoiselle? You're lucky she was so kind and pretty. Oh but not anywhere near as pretty as you Amelie.

Amelie blushed scarlett at the compliment and turned her attention to Lilly.

Amelie: I'm sorry we kept you waiting for your Papa Lilly. I hope you'll forgive us?

Lilly: Of course I will, if you knew Mama too do you want to see her? She's just a bit further down the river bank with Wolf.

Saar: I'd love to see Madem…Madame again if it's ok with you Amelie, oh and you too Monsieur.

Jean: I’m sure she would like to see how well you are.

Lilly wriggled out of Jean's arms and reached out to Amelie and Saar with a big smile.

Lilly: I can take you right to her, come on!

Saar: Why don't you and Amelie go ahead your Papa and I will be right behind you.

Lilly: Ok! Don't be too long though or my brother will eat all the chocolates Mama bought.

At that warning Lilly excitedly started running down the riverbank with a laughing Amelie in tow. Jean and Saar watched them leave in silence. Saar then turned his attention back to Jean.

Saar: Can I ask you for some more advice Monsieur?

Jean turned his head towards Saar and nodded.

Saar: I want to have a family of my own someday, like you have and I want it to be with Amelie but... I'm scared that she might not want to stay with somebody like me who just works in the mines. What should I do so that she stays with me until I can marry her? How did you do it with Madame?

Jean turned his head back in the direction of where Lilly and Amelie had run off. He could see them in the distance now along with Wolf and Mitsuki and he smiled. He thought about everything that had happened since he last saw Saar in his relationship with Mitsuki for them to end up where they were now. When he spoke at last he chose his words with care.

Jean: The best thing I think you can do is to just live every day being who you are inside and to trust in your love for her and in Amelie's love for you as you are regardless of your past. I know I couldn't see it back then but Mitsuki used to look at me in a certain way before we were together, Amelie looks at you in a similar way.

Saar: Wait you said used to, does she not look at you like that anymore?

Jean: No she doesn't, it's evolved into something much deeper over the years.

Saar broke into a big smile.

Saar: I hope Amelie's does the same then, thank you again Monsieur for everything.

Jean and Saar started walking down the riverbank again towards where everyone was waiting for them when suddenly Jean halted. He reached out and gently grabbed Saar by the arm.

Jean: There is one more thing, make sure you actually propose, in a way you would do it not anyone else and do not wait until your wedding day for it.

Saar: Are you saying you never proposed to Madame!?

Jean: I did, just we were at the altar when I did so. Some of our friends still remind me of that mistake to this day. I would not want you to go through the same thing.

Saar: Geez Monsieur I already thought you were lucky to have married Madame but you must really have been blessed by God to still have her after hearing that.

Jean let out a soft chuckle and smiled at Saar.

Jean: I agree with you.

[nicnsmth1]

Akabane Karma x Transmasc Reader // Assassination Classroom

bi karma x transmasc partner. gn pronouns. reader is a bit insecure. reader presented as fem prior. wc 790

notes: this is a bit of a self-indulgent as I am transmasc myself, but I rarely ever see any for him, so I've decided to take things into my own hands!! ps the reader can be read as shizuha as well

Even before the dating scene, Karma doesn’t seem to be a person who cared much on how a person looks, whether it be masc or fem

In fact, he practically never cared at all until he got curious enough to actually ask, because to him, someone’s gender isn’t going to change whether or not he likes them

That is until he realized that the other person may take their appearance and actions more seriously when it comes to how people see them on first glance

Being an observant person, he starts to realize how his partner would often wear oversized shirts, get finicky whenever their hair looks a certain way or refused to look at the mirror some days

He wouldn’t be the first to ask, only thinking about what way should he mention his concern without appearing to be insensitive, ‘What if they think I’m being too forward?’ ‘What if they’ve been waiting for me to say something?’ ‘Am I postponing this too much?’

Karma’s not used to emotional talks despite knowing it was the only way to go about the problem

“Want to go shopping?”

So instead, he disguised his investigation on finding out the deeper problem through various invitations such as shopping

Asking: what kind of outfits do they prefer? No skirts? That’s fine, what about dresses? Sometimes? Okay, then what about color? Are there some that they don’t like? Were laces fine? What about beads?

“Maybe a new hairstyle?”

He’d offer to go through fashion magazines just to purposefully point out certain hairstyles that might suit his partner’s interest, maybe that’ll show him exactly what they’ve been fretting about

“Shorter hair? That’ll look nice.”

Throwing in a few subtle compliments after he finally figured it out

‘Masculinity? That’s what they want.’

It was definitely obvious to him that his partner wasn’t cis, but he never asked because they’ve never mentioned it. To him, they’re just them and he likes them. But maybe that might’ve come off as ignorant, now how does he fix up an apology for that?

“I know what you’re doing”

He never gets caught in an act, in the middle of his own scheming, but when you’re with someone long enough, you catch on quick and that’s definitely the case this time. How can his partner not notice? Asking them out just to have questions after questions thrown at them? He’s much of a worrier than he’d like to think

Though, it was less of a coming out, but more of a confirmation; the real challenge starts now

“Is there anything you’d like to have?”

He’d offer his clothes, his older colognes, even his jewelry if they’re inclined on a more edgier look with the silver rings and necklace

Karma would suggest ways to style their hair, make it proper? Messier? However they’d like, he can do it

He’s not one to buy things because they’re trendy, but somehow he always looks the part “How do you do it?” He’d offer advice

This makeover to him was starting to get more fun each time his partner would ask something from him, whether it be a clothing item, an accessory, features that they should accentuate when doing makeup; he feels like a teacher of some sort

Karma would not show his happiness with everything that has happened, he’d brush it off whenever his partner says thank you, but the corner of his lips were raised and he couldn’t get the grin that his partner flashed out of his head

If they wanted to go all the way, they can even ask to workout with him, he’ll be glad to mentor (although, he might purposefully tire his partner out during the first week for laughs)

Karma isn’t one to say praises out loud, at least not often, but if his partner is down, he’d go out of his way to say affirming words for them and this especially happens if certain days get a bit dysphoric

He wouldn’t only be helping with presentation either, he’d do his research, taking times where his partner is not around to find out more about being transmasc, he wants to be useful without it being too obvious

Karma would hate to see someone get so down over their own body, he’d try to uplift them albeit his struggle to sound genuine when doing so, his teases and jokes are completely there to help, he would never mean harm when it comes to a serious topic like this

He won’t ever keep it a secret either, if his partner wants to be seen as a guy, he’ll gladly embrace it. After all, he likes them, what’s there to doubt?

“Oh, you haven’t met them yet, but they’re my boyfriend.”

[thaliaisalesbian]

i get myself twisted in threads

Chapter 15: i tell you that i think i'm falling

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 16

“Will is staying the night. Jonathan should also stay the night.” Hopper is going to kill him. He’s dead.

“You’re not dating Will, El.” Steve tries to explain. She just thinks that since she’s got someone staying over, he should also have someone staying over.

“El, I have work in the morning.” Jonathan saves him. “I’d have to get up, like, super early and go home and change, so it doesn’t make sense for me to stay the night. Besides, I’m sure you don’t want me interrupting your reading time.”

Steve’s not sure he wants reading time tonight, honestly. Nancy had read them a few chapters of her old copy of Anne of Green Gables—one time, when she’d been sick, Steve had come over and tried to read some of it to her. Since then, they’d taken turns with it, at least until they broke up.

That had been good, but their surprise—it wasn’t the cookies, which were good, and would have been just fine as his surprise.

No, what they gave him, sitting in the car right before they left the park to drop Nancy off for her church dinner, is something he never would have expected them to even know he liked.

Carol’s the only person who's ever known about this. It’s something they shared when before Tommy, and then after Tommy, usually when Tommy was being a dick.

He doesn’t even know how they got some of these. Steve doesn’t want to know how long it took them to collect them all, and then organize them like this for him.

They’d had to make this all by hand. For him, at such short notice.

Steve can’t even figure out how they made the cover so thick, it’s almost like a published cookbook.

Nancy and Jonathan alternated recipes, and there’s a Polaroid of the finished product—he’s pretty sure some of the dishes are Mrs. Henderson’s—in the corner of the final page of each one.

He doesn’t recognize the cursive on the front: Knead for Sweets.

It’s so cheesy, and it’s so nice and well-thought out. He wants to spend the next month going through each recipe, making them until he can get them perfect.

He wants to know how in the world Nancy and Jonathan knew that while he likes cooking just fine, he loves baking. He can’t bake right now—Hopper and El won’t let him, and he could work with the space limitations but he might run out of pots and pans.

He wants to spend the night flipping through the recipes, seeing how many they’d been able to collect.

He’s glad they waited until they got to the car to give it to him; as soon as he realized what they’d done, he’d almost started crying.

It’s just so much effort, and time, to get the whole thing together. To get people to agree to give up family recipes, and then to write them out all, and take pictures of each dish.

“Yes, but you can be part of the reading, too.” El says, staring Jonathan down. “And you can get up early. You can just share the bed with Steve, like Will is sharing mine.”

“El, what are Hopper’s rules about you and Mike?” Jonathan asks.

“We have to leave the door open three inches. He cannot stay the night in my room, even though Will can.”

“What do you think the rules are for me, Nancy, and Steve, since we’re dating?”

“You are older.”

“That doesn’t mean the rules don’t apply. It’s true that some rules don’t apply because we’re older, but those ones do. It’s okay, El, really.”

“Fine.” El glares at Jonathan the whole time he’s leaving, not even looking away like Will does when he kisses Steve goodbye.

“El, that wasn’t very nice.”

“Well, he should want to stay with you! He likes you and he should want to stay here, no matter what Hop says.”

“El, just because he left doesn’t mean he didn’t want to stay.” Will tells her. “Besides, wouldn’t the bed be crowded with four of us? We’ve still got to read our book.”

“It would, but that is okay. We will be fine.”

“Would Steve be fine? He’s still healing.”

“Oh.” El looks at him again. “I am sorry, Steve. But he made you happy today, and I wanted him to stay and make you happy again.”

She’s not wrong about that, but she’s also not supposed to know that.

“El, what did we say about watching me?”

“You did not make any rules for weekends.”

“We’ll do that tomorrow, then. It’s bedtime.”

“It’s like, nine!” Will’s face screws up in the same way Jonathan’s does when he’s protesting. “That’s too early, we’re not little kids!”

“You’re right. You’re babies.”

“Steve!”

But El’s already headed to her room to change, so Will won’t have any ground to stand on much longer.

“Go get ready for bed, kiddo.”

“I’m not a baby!”

“A tall toddler, then.”

“Steeeeve!” It’s a tone he’s much more used to hearing from Dustin, but god it is fun to mess with these kids a little. He can’t be the nice babysitter all the time, he has to keep them on their toes, or they’ll start to think they can boss him around and get whatever they want.

(They can, but he can’t let them know that. They have to figure it out for themselves.)

Steve puts Knead for Sweets away before the kids come in to read. He’s not hiding it, not really, he just wants to keep it nice.

And if he wants to keep the wonder of the whole thing to himself for a while, then that’s for him to know.

finish on ao3 or continue reading

Jonathan can’t pretend he hasn’t noticed that the kids have picked up on the way he, Nancy, and Steve have been acting around each other. Will and El are the only ones they’ve actually told, but there are going to be questions from the others soon enough.

“Hello, Jonathan.” He won’t lie and say it doesn’t make him jump. That’s been one of El’s favorite things lately. Mostly with him and Nancy.

Okay, it’s only with him and Nancy.

“What’s up, El?”

“When are you going to take Steve somewhere again?”

Well, they’re going to a drive-in movie tonight, because Jonathan knows that Steve is still anxious about being seen around town. 

“Tonight, why?” She stares at him for a minute.

“If you make him sad again, you can’t take him places anymore.”

“Make him sad? What do you mean?” Steve hadn’t seemed sad at all after their first date; sure, he’d cried a little when they gave him the cookbook, but he’d said he was happy with it.

“He was upset, after you left.”

“El, what are you telling Jonathan?”

“He is not allowed to make you sad.” El doesn’t look at Steve. He’s walking a little more now, opting only to use his crutches on bad days.

“He didn’t make me sad, El. The recipe book he and Nancy made for me was a really nice and thoughtful thing to do, and it made me happy.”

“But then he left.”

“Yes, he did, but not because he wanted to leave. I was a little sad about that, maybe, but he can’t not go to work.”

“You don’t go to work.”

“I can barely walk, El, of course I don’t go to work.”

And Steve has never needed a job in the way Jonathan has, but that’s not something they need to explain to El right now.

“Where are you going?”

“El, no spying on us.” Steve says. “I know you like to check in, but not tonight, okay? Nancy, Jonathan, and I are trying to have some alone time.”

“Ew.” She crinkles up her nose. “Max says alone time is code for ‘things you don’t want kids to know about.’”

“Not always, but if it makes you stop checking in, then sure.” Steve finally gets over to Jonathan. “What time are we picking Nance up?”

“We’ve got about an hour.”

“So we could surprise her with slushies?”

“Yeah, if you want.”

“Nice.” Kissing Steve isn’t like kissing Nancy, not that he’d expected it to be, but it’s still good. Between the two of them, Jonathan thinks he can learn about the type of kisses that bring people to write so many poems about romantic love.

Still, it doesn’t mean he’s about to start writing poems or anything. He’ll stick with his camera and the darkroom.

He’s got some pictures to show Steve and Nancy today, too. He’d gotten these done as fast as he could, but it’d still taken longer than he would have liked. And he’s still got more to do.

It’s too bad that it’s going to be too dark for pictures at the drive-in. Otherwise, Jonathan could probably get a few good ones.

“Do you know if El has said anything to other kids?”

“About us dating? I don’t think so, but I haven’t asked. Pretty sure Mike would have already thrown a fit about it, he hated me for a while. Pretty sure it’s because he thought I was taking Nancy away from him. What was she saying to you, anyway?”

“I’m pretty sure she was trying to give me a shovel talk, actually.”

“She’s been like that lately.”

“Well, aren’t you and Hopper making plans to move you back to your house?”

“More like fighting over it. I don’t think Hopper wants me going back at all, especially not when I’m on crutches. I’d be fine now, honestly. I can get around well enough and I’ve handled crutches in my house before.”

“What, you don’t want to spend more time with El? What about your story time?”

“I’ll miss it, but I don’t want to keep taking up Hopper’s bed when I really don’t need it. He won’t let me sleep on the couch, though.”

“Mom wouldn’t mind if you spent the night at ours.” Jonathan offers. “And Will won’t tattle, either.”

“I know he won’t.” Steve puts his hand on his knee for a second. “I don’t know. I just… it feels unfair that I get to spend the night with you and Nance doesn’t, you know?”

“She’s not gonna mind, Steve. It’ll happen.” And it’s not like Nancy and Jonathan haven’t spent time alone together since they all started dating, though it’s much easier for them than it is for Jonathan and Steve. “We could ask if it would make you feel better.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Steve’s hand doesn’t move until they stop for slushies, but he doesn’t say anything else, and Jonathan’s left to wonder if maybe Steve’s been feeling left out, or jealous, and what he and Nancy can do to fix that.

“What type of slushie do you want?” He asks, instead of what he wants to say. Jonathan knows Nancy’s—cherry, which always tastes ridiculously sweet to him—and he hasn’t decided what he’s going to get himself yet.

(Blue raspberry. It’s always blue raspberry, even though he pretends he hates it in front of Will.)

“I’ll do cherry cola, I can come in with you, though. And Nance always gets cherry, which is just weird, like who gets just plain cherry? And you’ll probably get blue raspberry or something, which doesn’t even exist. It’s Will’s favorite, though.”

“How did you know that?”

“I take the kids to get slushies sometimes.”

“No, I know that, but how did you know I like blue raspberry?” Will’s old enough now that he’s in on the joke, so that could be it, but Jonathan doesn’t know why Will would be telling Steve about what types of slushies Jonathan likes.

“Wait, did you ask Will? Steve, have you been asking Will what my favorite things are?” Jonathan thinks back to all the times when seemingly random candy bars would show up in his locker or bag, and how Nancy always said it wasn’t her, but it was always on shitty days, so he figured she’d just been hiding it.

“...Maybe.” Steve’s got his good leg pulled up to his face. “I didn’t know how else to talk to you, sometimes. Most of the time, I didn’t have to ask, he’d just say something about it while we were getting other stuff.”

“But you didn’t have to remember it, Steve. You definitely didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to, though.”

“We’re telling Nancy about this.”

“No! No, don’t, she’ll never let me live it down.” Steve’s redder than Jonathan’s ever seen him—he was kind of starting to think that the guy just didn’t blush.

“No, I’m telling her. And I think it’s…” Cute? Sweet? What word should he use here? “Nice, that you remembered all that after Will mentioned it.”

“Can we just go get the slushies now?”

“Yeah.” Somehow, it’s not busy—even on cold days, there’s usually high schoolers here getting slushies as an excuse to meet up with their friends.

When Jonathan sees Hagan in the corner, though, it makes more sense.

“Do I have to talk to him?” Steve’s using his crutches while they’re in the store; it’s not icy on the sidewalks right now, but it’s still wet, so it’s a risk they’re not taking.

“No, I can scare him off.”

“You couldn’t scare off a cat, Byers.” Steve snorts. “But you’ll have your hands full, I can’t really help with the slushies.”

“Just ignore him?”

“I can try, if he even comes over.”

Jonathan doesn’t know what Hagan’s deal is these days—he’s come over a few times, to ask what’s up with Steve, but it’s not like he’s been checking every week, or even every month. From what his mom says, Carol has asked her about Steve every time she comes in, which is a lot more than Hagan has done.

“I’ll take one of those.” Hagan doesn’t just grab it off of the counter, or out of Jonathan’s hand, which is really for the best. “Since Steve can’t, and all.” Steve had moved over to the counter to pay, and probably had gotten them candy, too, since Jonathan was filling the slushies and couldn’t protest.

“Thanks.” Jonathan just hopes that he doesn’t ask Steve anything. Steve knows the basics of what they’ve told everyone, but they haven’t had time (or wanted to, really) to go over everything they’ve said.

“He’s doing better, then? Since he’s out with you?”

“I mean, yeah.”

“I don’t know if he’d want to talk to me.”

Then why did you come over? Jonathan wants to snap, but he doesn’t want to get into a fight with Tommy Hagan today. He doesn’t want to get into any fights today. 

“Is he… is he okay, at least? Is he doing okay?”

“Yeah, he has been.” He’d be shocked if Steve wasn’t having nightmares, but it’s not something he’s brought up with Jonathan or Nancy.

“Jon, you ready?” Steve glances their way, not bothering to look at Hagan.

Jonathan gets a little rush of vindication from that. The guy who has been Steve’s best friend for years, and Steve’s looking at Jonathan instead.

“Yeah.”

“Steve—” Hagan starts. “Can we talk?”

“About what?”

“You went missing again, that’s kind of a big deal.”

“So, you want the gossip. No, then.”

“No, Steve! Are you okay? Have you seen anyone? Do you need somewhere to stay? My mom still adores you, you know.” Hagan only gets quieter with each sentence, matching Steve’s pace as he leads them to the car.

“I’m good, Tommy.” Steve pauses to open the door and stash his crutches, sitting down before he speaks again. “Tell your mom I say hi.”

“That’s it?” Hagan hands over the slushie he’s holding; it’s Nancy’s, not that he needs to know that. “That’s all you have to say to me?”

“What else do you want, dude? You were pretty clear that we weren’t friends anymore. Made it real easy for Hargrove to come after me, from what I remember.”

“I shouldn’t have told him that shit, man, come on—”

“No. You shouldn’t have. And as much as I’m sure you regret it now, you haven’t even tried to apologize for that. If you want a lesson on apologizing, go talk to Carol. I’m sure she’ll help you.” Steve shuts the door in Hagan’s face, and Jonathan kind of wants to cheer.

That’s the Steve he remembers from before the Upside Down, the guy who could tear a person apart with his words. He hadn’t done it often, but damn, is it hot to watch when it’s not being used against him.

Even this much, much milder version of it. The one time Jonathan had seen him do it to someone else, he’d torn into the guy’s insecurities like it was nothing in the middle of the hallway.

He’d been a transfer student from the next town over, and he’d had rumors already. He’d gotten caught once trapping freshmen in the bathroom with him, and Steve had apparently decided that was enough.

Jonathan doesn’t know what happened to him after that.

“Was that too much?” Steve asks, as they leave. “Like, he’s still watching us as we leave.”

“Steve, I don’t know what he told Hargrove, but I’m betting what you said wasn’t enough.”

“I used to be a lot meaner, with a lot less guilt about it.”

“Well, you did grow up with Hagan. And I don’t think you were ever that mean, actually.”

“Jonathan, I smashed your camera. I let Tommy and Carol say and do shit they shouldn’t have gotten away with. Even if I wasn’t doing it myself, I should have stopped them.”

“And you apologized for that, or tried to, like immediately. And you were trying to protect Nancy, it’s not like you broke it because I was taking pictures of trees. That’d be different.” Does Steve still feel bad about that? Jonathan figured they’d been done with that a long time ago. “And come on, Hagan turned on you enough that he was telling Hargrove your secrets, what would have happened if you had stopped them?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to think about him anymore, though. If I do, it’ll just ruin the whole night.”

“Then we won’t. We can tease Nancy about her terrible choice in slushie flavors, and I can tell her all about how you memorized my favorite candies already.”

“No! You said you wouldn’t!”

“I never said that, you assumed I agreed.” Jonathan winks at him as he pulls into Nancy’s driveway. He doesn’t get a chance to even open his door before Nancy’s halfway to the car.

“Let’s go before my mom decides to chase me. She’s not very happy about the cookies last weekend.”

“Just the cookies, huh?”

“Don’t you start, Steve.” She relaxes a little once she’s in the car, though. “I get the backseat all to myself?”

“Yeah, it’s cause I didn’t want to be near your disgusting all-cherry slushie.” Steve tells her.

“And you got trail mix cause you just love raisins, right?” Jonathan can tell from her tone that Nancy thinks she’s won. She’s probably right, because he’s about to give her a lot more ammo.

“What else is in that bag, Nance?”

“Oh, you let Jonathan pick out his favorites, too!”

“No, Steve got all the snacks while I was filling the slushies. And I’ve never told him any of my favorites.”

“Steve! How long have you been paying that much attention to Jonathan, hmm?” Nancy leans forward between their seats.

Jonathan doesn’t poke fun at them at the same rate they do each other, or even him, but he has to admit that the car ride is a lot more fun this way.

<- 14 16 ->

[goosewriting]

Yeahhh I’m SO GLAD you’re back!! I open tumblr every now and then to see if you've posted anything new,hope you’re doing well!🥺💖

I just got home from my graduation trip and in a while I'm going to keep preparing to apply to my grad school, I know all too well what it's like to have no motivation to study, it's always hard to get started on something serious, even when I'm drawing my own stuff, I always turn on my computer in the morning and then I don't start drawing until the evening lol

Just curious if you've found anything interesting lately? Movies and TV shows or novels or whatever, I recently read the novel I've read a million times again and started reading battle scars 🫡

And am looking forward to your new works! hope to see you write more about Cal, your writing of Cal is my favorite, you're a genius at writing Cal!🥹🤲❤️

Have a nice day and hope you do well at the finals<333

(This is my first time using ask box and I don’t know if I’m using this right,still confused about how to use tumblr 💦)

hi! thank you so much for the message and your kind words <3 they mean a lot to me! and i'm flattered to hear you like my writing that much :') 💕

i had my first final today, it was an oral exam, i thought i was going to fail because i slept very badly due to the heat and i barely studied for it, but i passed :'D so one less, two more to go. and then two essays. but that's a problem for future goose lol

i hope you had a fun trip Lin! applications are always stressful but i hope you get into your dream school<3

oof battle scars,, have fun with that one lol it's a good one! i should revisit my notes i took when i read it for future writing references lol currently i'm reading the republic commando series by karen traviss, i'm on book 3 rn. it's been such a fun read, i can't wait to speed through it after this week is over haha while it isn't canon anymore, i think the way the clones are depicted is very interesting, especially in the first book, the things the clones were taught about jedis and all that; it was a refreshing insight imo.

as for movies/tv, i'm really looking forward to arcane s2, as well as deadpool and wolverine. it feels like i've been waiting a decade for this movie! xD i miss the good ol' marvel days. i should rewatch some of the older ones now that i think about it~

ah i have some new ideas for cal that i just now remembered, so i'm gonna go jot those down before i forget lol

thank you sm again for your message, and my ask box is still open for all of you, dear goslings :D feel free to send something in!

have a fantastic week everyone, stay hydrated, have a snack. you deserve it. i'm glad you're here 🐤❤️🪿

[blueysbookshelf]

The Rest Is History by Sara Madderson

I'm going to be VERY salty in this review...You've been warned.

The below is ABSOLUTELY CHOCK FULL of SPOILERS.

I was convinced to read this because the MCs were history teachers and he was the head of department and also played Henry VIII at Hampton Court and when he hires the FMC as a substitute teacher while someone else is on Mat leave he immediately falls for her, but refuses to treat her kindly because he's got a secret and he can't allow himself to be in a relationship because of it. Wait until you hear the secret...it's a doozy.

BUT...then the woman playing Anne B at Hampton Court has to have surgery (I'm guessing Cynthia ended up needing something doing....that's what I told myself) and since he overheard girlie saying she needed more money because she moved down there from The City (gag) to help her twin sister raise her daughter after twin sister's husband left her abruptly (fucking MEN) he offers her the part of Anne...and WHOOPS...they get a little too into the roles.

Guess his "secret" though...

The reason this man can't have a relationship with this woman, even though he is full on lusting after her, dicking her down in all the rooms at Hampton Court, drooling over her neck, and comparing it to ANNE B'S (excuse me?!?!?). This mother fucker takes her to a BBQ at his older brother's house...intro's her to all of his nieces and nephews, his brother and ex sister in law and current sister in law (because the brother knows how to coparent and they're all very mature...which I appreciated actually) and then the next fucking day breaks up with her because HE'S STERILE. He can't give her babies. And I am dying. Of all the misogynistic bullshit.

Woe is him. 🙄

And he knows that she loves him...he knows that if he tells her she's going to choose him and he doesn't feel like that's fair. He doesn't want to LET her choose to be with him in spite of the fact that his sperms aren't sperming so he gives her no choice. Because of course he doesn't.

And the whole thing is resolved when his two SILs go to the FMC and tell her because he's REFUSING TO and she goes to his house and is like:

And then she reminds him that things like sperm donors and adoptions exist.

I know infertility is an issue. I do. I know it's a sensitive topic and I don't mean to be rude about it. But it was insanely annoying that this man did NOTHING but beat himself up over it...even though he'd "been to therapy". It just felt so unrealistic to me that he wouldn't be able to discuss it with her. Like...who pulls the shit he pulled? (hide spoiler)]

TLDR: All in all...I was highly annoyed by this book and the writing. The plot was tenuously put together and I'm very glad that there was a blurb at the end of the book telling me that the author is also Elodie Hart and the author of the insanely BookTok popular Alchemy series...so I can avoid it.

[thegeminisage]

SEARCH FOR SPOCK breakdown

i watched THIS movie three days ago and im still not over it. incoherent phone liveblogs translated to normal human language below:

firstly, this movie is extraordinarily quiet. even with my computer and browser volume and 100% i still couldn't hear it. we had such trouble finding a copy that was both loud and subtitled i had to download my own - even actually starting a free paranmount plus trial didn't work because their website is GARBAGE and refused to load the movie for me on any browser. which meant losing one day. and then the second day i was out of town. i had to wait SO LONG to start searching for spock. i basically forgot the first 12 minutes of the film bc of those two lost days

uhura was very hot in this movie. i love how she had stuff to do. idk how she keeps getting hotter every movie but she's the most beautiful woman in the world i think. her telling that little ensign to get into the closet while calling him a good boy was maybe the sexiest thing she's ever done. i wish she had gotten to go with them the whole time!

the absolute screaming that ensued when kirk found bones sitting in a pitch black room with spock's voice coming out of his mouth. like i said i knew vaguely about this but i did not expect him to be FUCKING POSSESSED??? i need to find time to read 4000 spones fics about this specifically if anyone has recs i am soliciting them

everything was so good. the comment about poison in a bar not being logical. the failed nerve pinch. him being able to suddenly act as first officer. mwah

i like the snowy cacti on genesis even though most of those sections lagged for me personally. not like computer lag but like. psychologically. and baby spock was so cute!! teenage spock did not need to be fucking his former student who is now way older than him tho. that was wack. sorry saavik

the entire section of busting bones out of prison and stealing the enterprise is one of my favorite trek scenes from everything i've seen so far, actually. it's exciting, it's funny, it's heartwarming, the chemistry is off the charts, and they all truly feel like a family.......cathy said it best but this is what aos was missing tbh

ALSO I TOTALLY RECOGNIZED LEONARD NIMOY'S VOICE IN THE ELEVATOR SHAFT. am i faceblind maybe a little bit but my ear never fails me

very shocked to see christopher lloyd in this movie. his makeup was um questionable. but he did a great job

we went back and forth for awhile on whether or not bones realized he was possessed. i guess "you're suffering from a mind meld" wasn't specific enough. like did he know spock was IN THERE. but we didnt know for sure until jim was like "how are we doing" and bones was like "WE are doing just fine thank you but i'd rather he have just taken a kidney" which was fucking hilarious. third best best line after "i've got all his marbles" and "THAT GREEN BLOODED SON OF A BITCH THIS IS REVENGE FOR ALL THE ARGUMENTS HE LOST" he's so iconic. like it wasn't actually just revenge for the stunt he pulled in the empath.

deeply mourning the enterprise. i knew there were different enterprises and that they had to blow her up eventually bc spoilers but this is the one and only first ever enterprise TO ME. watching her go down in flames was almost as painful as watching spock die. rest in peace queen :(

absolutely FLOORED they fridged david. i didn't expect them to do that ever but i'm SO glad they did bc 1. cry bitch and 2. i didn't actually care about him. despite them finding spock on genesis those parts of the movie felt slowest to me because spock wasn't able to like, Be Spock and i just did not care about david. i like saavik but i liked her better when she wasn't fucking spock. so. perfect choice

final fight was good. i was like I DONT CARE ABOUT THIS SHOW ME SPOCK but then i gasped every time one of them almost bit it. rip christopher lloyd's character he did a great job

did i burst into tears when kirk held spock and pointed a gun at people? yeah

however what we missed was the bit where bones goes to hold him instead when kirk has to put him down. truly the mcspirk movie of all time.

bones going "i choose the danger" HE IS SO IMPORTANT i love him so much

having absolute kittens in the section where i had to wait to find out if they put spock's katra back. like obviously they were gonna. did i start crying again when spock started talking? YEAH. i knew he was gonna have amnesia but i forgot so i got to be surprised anyway. and then also cried through the credits too bc ofc i did. spock is so important. bones tapping his temple at the end was everything though

idk why everyone says the odd ones are all bad! 1 was bad and i know everybody hated 5 but 3 was REALLY GOOD. i liked it even better than wrath of khan - aside from, again, the pon farr thing. there was more interpersonal stuff than in 2 but it didn't lack action and momentum the way that 1 did. it was perfect. there's no way 4 can be better than this. no way. sincerely hoping i eat my words <3

[harrywavycurly]

I wasn’t sure if I’d be into the Seven Wives concept, but I read through them all and - as per usual with anything you create - fell in love with the girls, the concept, the awkward Steve being flustered in front of Eddie and one of the wives. Patiently waiting for Tuesday though, because I think she reflects some of my traits best (at least that’s what I got from the character sheet, even though I’m not a ♍️). Dunno if you have anything planned/in works for her, but may I request a little something?

Relatively early into their relationship, as Eddie introduces Tuesday into the mix, he brings all of his sheepies to meet her (including Jonathan, who’s like a bff with her now obvi, and the rest of the older kids). He’s not an expert in reading his wives’ traits/moods yet, because it’s just her and Monday at this point, so it takes him a little while to clock that her loner nature makes her anxious and a bit reserved around so many people. While some of the older kids find it strange, and the younger ones are a bit oblivious, he notices that she tends to follow him or Monday for extra safety around the group until she disappears from the party altogether. That’s how he finds out she’s bonding over their shared love of Pink Floyd and wacky sci-fi literature with Jonathan.

Now, we know that Tuesday is the jelly, lone gunslinger who gives out advice to Eddie’s sheepies. But how would she form these reluctant friendships with the rest of the group and how would it look like from Eddie’s POV? I can’t help but imagine him seeing different people come and go from her trailer all week long (one day, it’s Mike and Will, next day it’s Nance in the morning, and a little teary eyed Max in the evening etc) and he’s hesitant to bring it up with her, but he just has to know what is going on.

As a borderline introvert, I just have this feeling that she would allow these friendships develop on a 1:1 basis, rather than being thrown into a group. At least that’s what I did with all of my friends, and I keep most of them separate and never meeting one another for years.

Anyways, sorry if it’s too specific, hope you won’t find it too difficult and I totally understand if it doesn’t spark anything. sending lots of love!

— 🦇

Hiiii lovey!! So I also love Tuesday and she’s the one I relate to the most so it’s so odd she’s the only one with nothing written about her 😂🙈 so I love what you said about Eddie wondering how she got to be so close with everyone so I hope you enjoy this!💖

-find all things Seven Wives of Eddie Munson here✨

*Eddie doesn’t mind seeing people leave your trailer…he just is a little curious as to why they are there*

“Hey baby,” you turn your head towards your front door as you hear Eddie’s voice. “Uh sorry am I interrupting something?” You roll your eyes as Eddie raises an eyebrow at Jonathan who is sitting in the recliner across from where you’re sat on the couch in the living room.

“No no sorry I was just getting her uhm advice on something.” Jonathan is quick to explain as he stands up and grabs his jacket off the back of the chair. You get up off the couch and give him a reassuring smile as you reach over and wrap him in a quick hug.

“It’s going to be fine.” You whisper in his ear making him let out a little sigh of relief, you reach up and give his cheek a little pat as you pull away. “Now get out before my husband here fully loses it.” You joke but Jonathan’s eyes go slightly wide as he rushes towards the front door.

“Uh see you later Eddie.” Jonathan mumbles as he passes Eddie on his way out of the trailer. Eddie turns and looks at you as his hands fall to his hips.

“Before you get all huffy I want to remind you that you’re the one who wanted me to be friends with everyone.” You watch Eddie roll his eyes as you make your way towards the kitchen so you can start making lunch.

“Yes and I’m so glad you’re making friends baby,” Eddie starts as he follows you into the kitchen. “But lately you’ve had people coming and going all the time.” You just shrug as you grab a plate form your cabinet and turn to open the pantry so you can grab a bag of chips.

“They come to talk about stuff.” You explain as you bend down to grab the chips Eddie liked to have with his sandwich that you were going to make him for lunch. “Like today Jonathan needed some relationship advice.” Eddie just nods his head as he takes a few steps closer to you so he can wrap his arms around you from behind making you let out a little squeal.

“Nancy trouble?” He asks as he rests his chin on your shoulder, he quickly places a kiss to the side of your neck and gives your hips a little squeeze before he relaxes his hold on you.

“Yes.” Eddie doesn’t push it when you answer because he knows you’d never just spill everyone’s issues to him, even if he is your husband. “Oh you’re really fucking mean to Mike and you need to cut that shit out or I’ll kick your ass.” Eddie feels his eyes go wide as you turn around and glare at him as you reach over and grab the bread off the counter.

“What? I’m not mean to Wheeler.” You raise an eyebrow at him as his shoulders slump a bit. “I mean I’m not that…mean to him.” You just roll your eyes as you begin making his sandwich. “Did he tell you I’m mean to him?” His voice was full of concern as he stood next to you.

“No.” Eddie let’s out a sigh as you slather on some jelly to one piece of bread. “Nancy did.” Eddie runs a hand through his hair as you place the sandwich in the plate and cut it in half.

“What did she say?” Eddie asks as he sits down on the barstool in the kitchen. You just look at him and shrug as you place the plate in front of him and open the bag of chips and pour some out on the plate next to the sandwich. “Come on sweetheart tell me what she said.” You just let out a huff as you grab a chip off his plate and take a bite of it.

“You’re just harder on him than the others or that’s how it seems to her.” You spill and Eddie just nods his head letting you know he’s listening. “I’m not sure if Mike has said anything to her about it this is just her perspective and she’s just being a good older sister.” You finish explaining making Eddie just let out a sigh and run a hand over his face.

“Well I’ll do my best to try to ease up on him a bit.” You smile as you walk around the bar so your standing behind him.

“You can still be his big bad dungeon master just maybe be a little nicer when you’re not at the d and d table.” You suggest as you place your hands on top of his shoulders making Eddie relax under your touch.

“I can do that.” You smile as you lean in and place a kiss to the top of his head. “I really am happy you’ve made friends baby.” Eddie adds as you begin rubbing his shoulders. “But if I come home and see another man sitting in your living room without warning I might have to toss him out on his ass.” You laugh because as big and bad as Eddie seemed to everyone else you know him better, you know he’d never actually kick anyone out but he was just letting you know next time he’d like to know ahead of time if you’re expecting guests.

“Won’t happen again honey.” You reassure him as you lean over and place a kiss to his cheek making him smile. “I love you, now finish your lunch while I go see if Monday needs help with the laundry.” Eddie pouts as your hands leave his shoulders.

“I love you too baby.” You smile as Eddie looks at you letting you know he needs something, you just let out a chuckle as you lean in and place a kiss to his lips making him smile as you pull away and head out the back door. “Nancy thinks I’m mean?” He mumbles to himself before taking a bite out of his sandwich.